MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Exactly.	Nightmare.
Nightmare.	It's a tightrope, Spud, a fucking tightrope.
It's a tightrope, Spud, a fucking tightrope.	My problem is that I tend to clam up. I go dumb and I can't answer any questions at all. Nerves on the big occasion, like a footballer.
My problem is that I tend to clam up. I go dumb and I can't answer any questions at all. Nerves on the big occasion, like a footballer.	Try this.
All I'm trying to do is help you understand that The Name of the Rose is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.	What about The Untouchables?
What about The Untouchables?	I don't rate that at all.
I don't rate that at all.	Despite the Academy award?
Despite the Academy award?	That means fuck all. The sympathy vote.
That means fuck all. The sympathy vote.	Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it any more. Is that it?
Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it any more. Is that it?	Yeah.
Yeah.	That's your theory?
That's your theory?	Yeah, Beautifully fucking illustrated.
Yeah, Beautifully fucking illustrated.	Give me the gun.
I think Allison had been screaming all day, but it hadn't really registered before. She might have been screaming for a week for all I knew. It's been days since I've heard anyone speak, though surely someone must have said something in all that time, surely to fuck someone must have.	What's wrong, Allison?
Oh, fuck. Sick Boy reaches out to Allison.	It wasn't my baby. She wasn't my baby. Baby Dawn. She wasn't mine. Spud's? Swanney's? Sick Boy's? I don't know. Maybe Allison knew. Maybe not. I wished I could think of something to say, something sympathetic, something human.
It wasn't my baby. She wasn't my baby. Baby Dawn. She wasn't mine. Spud's? Swanney's? Sick Boy's? I don't know. Maybe Allison knew. Maybe not. I wished I could think of something to say, something sympathetic, something human.	Say something, Mark, say something --
Say something, Mark, say something --	I'm cooking' up. There is a silence.
Eughh. Sounds horrible.	It wasn't that bad.
It wasn't that bad.	Did he -- you know?
Did he -- you know?	What?
What?	You know.
You know.	No, he didn't make me touch it.
No, he didn't make me touch it.	Oh no, don't even mention it.
Oh no, don't even mention it.	He made me lick it.
He made me lick it.	God, you're sick.
God, you're sick.	And I got a stitch stuck between my teeth, jerked my head back and the whole fucking stump fell off.
And I got a stitch stuck between my teeth, jerked my head back and the whole fucking stump fell off.	Cut it out.
Cut it out.	When are you going to visit him?
When are you going to visit him?	Don't know. Maybe Thursday.
Don't know. Maybe Thursday.	You're a real mate. And what about Tommy? Have you been to see him yet?
Fuck you. OK, so Tommy's got the virus. Bad news, big deal. The gig goes on, or hadn't you noticed? Swanney fucks his leg up. Well, tough shit, but it could have been worse.	You're all hear.
You're all hear.	I know a couple of addicts. Stupid wee lassies. I feed them what they need. A little bit of skag to keep them happy while the punters line up at a fiver a skull. It's easy money for me. Not exactly a fortune, but I'm thinking, 'I should be coining it here.' Less whores, more skag. Swanney's right. Get clean, get into dealing, that's where the future lies. Set up some contacts, get a good load of skag, punt it, profit. What do you think?
I know a couple of addicts. Stupid wee lassies. I feed them what they need. A little bit of skag to keep them happy while the punters line up at a fiver a skull. It's easy money for me. Not exactly a fortune, but I'm thinking, 'I should be coining it here.' Less whores, more skag. Swanney's right. Get clean, get into dealing, that's where the future lies. Set up some contacts, get a good load of skag, punt it, profit. What do you think?	Fuck you.
Fuck you.	And I'll tell you why. Because I'm fed up to my back teeth with losers, no-hopers, draftpacks, schemies, junkies and the like. I'm getting on with life. What are you doing?
I can't believe you did that.	I got a good price for it. Rents, I need the money.
I got a good price for it. Rents, I need the money.	It was my fucking television.
It was my fucking television.	Well, Christ, if I'd known you were going to get so humpty about it, I wouldn't have bothered. Are you going to eat that?
What was your price?	Four Grand.
Four Grand.	But you don't have the money?
But you don't have the money?	We're two thousand short.
We're two thousand short.	That's tough.
That's tough.	Come on, Mark, every cunt knows you've been saving up down in London.
Come on, Mark, every cunt knows you've been saving up down in London.	Sorry, boys, I don't have two thousand pounds.
Great.	And see when I get out of here. I've got plans. Going to get myself straightened out and head off to Thailand, where women really know how to treat a guy. See, out there you can live like a king if you've got white skin and a few crisp tenners in your pocket. No fucking problem.
And see when I get out of here. I've got plans. Going to get myself straightened out and head off to Thailand, where women really know how to treat a guy. See, out there you can live like a king if you've got white skin and a few crisp tenners in your pocket. No fucking problem.	Sure.
Sure.	The strategy is this: get clean, get mobile, get into dealing, and this time next year I'll be watching the rising sun with a posse of oriental buttocks parked on my coupon.
The strategy is this: get clean, get mobile, get into dealing, and this time next year I'll be watching the rising sun with a posse of oriental buttocks parked on my coupon.	Sounds great, Swanney.
Sounds great, Swanney.	Yeah.
Yeah.	You'll have to send us a postcard.
You'll have to send us a postcard.	Sure will, pal, sure will.
How's it going with Gail?	No joy yet.
No joy yet.	How long is it?
How long is it?	Six weeks.
Six weeks.	Six weeks!
Six weeks!	It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in.
It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in.	Where did she come up with that?
Where did she come up with that?	She read it in Cosmopolitan.
She read it in Cosmopolitan.	Six weeks and no sex?
Six weeks and no sex?	I've got balls like watermelons, I'm telling you.
Useless motherfucker, that's what she called me. I told her, I'm sorry, but theses things happen. Let's put it behind us.	That's fair enough.
That's fair enough.	Yes, but then she finds out I've bought a ticket for Iggy Pop the same night.
Yes, but then she finds out I've bought a ticket for Iggy Pop the same night.	Went ballistic?
Went ballistic?	Big time. Absolutely fucking radge. 'It's me or Iggy Pop, time to decide.'
Big time. Absolutely fucking radge. 'It's me or Iggy Pop, time to decide.'	So what's it going to be?
So what's it going to be?	Well, I've paid for the ticket.
What do you see as your main strengths?	I love people. All people. Even people that no one else loves, I think they're OK, you know. Like Beggars.
I love people. All people. Even people that no one else loves, I think they're OK, you know. Like Beggars.	Homeless people?
Homeless people?	No, not homeless people. Beggars, Francis Begbie -- one of my mates. I wouldn't say my best mate, I mean, sometimes the boy goes over the score, like one time when we -- me and him -- were having a laugh and all of a sudden he's fucking gubbed me in the face, right --
No, not homeless people. Beggars, Francis Begbie -- one of my mates. I wouldn't say my best mate, I mean, sometimes the boy goes over the score, like one time when we -- me and him -- were having a laugh and all of a sudden he's fucking gubbed me in the face, right --	Mr. Murphy, {leaving your friend aside,} do you see yourself as having any weaknesses?
Mr. Murphy, {leaving your friend aside,} do you see yourself as having any weaknesses?	No. Well, yes. I have to admit it: I'm a perfectionist. For me, it's the best or nothing at all. If things go badly, I can't be bothered, but I have a good feeling about this interview. Seems to me like it's gone pretty well. We've touched on a lot of subjects, a lot of things to think about, for all of us.
Damnit, Spock. God damnit!	Captain, what have I done -
Captain, what have I done -	What you have done is betray every man on this ship.
What you have done is betray every man on this ship.	Worse. I have betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.
Worse. I have betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.	Forgive you? I ought to knock you on your goddamn ass!
Forgive you? I ought to knock you on your goddamn ass!	If you think it would help.
I hope you've enjoyed being a command program, Sark. I wonder how you'll like working in a pocket calculator... maybe one of those watches that plays "Happy Birthday" to its User once a year.	Now, sir... We did take care of that User you sent us --
Now, sir... We did take care of that User you sent us --	Yes, and now you've got two renegade programs running all the hell over the system in a stolen simulation.
Yes, and now you've got two renegade programs running all the hell over the system in a stolen simulation.	We'll get them, sir... These things take time.
We'll get them, sir... These things take time.	I don't have time, Sark. And neither do you. End of line.
Dana, Mr. Hardy called. Why weren't you in class today?	He lies! I was there! I was in the nurse's office, cause I had a headache.
He lies! I was there! I was in the nurse's office, cause I had a headache.	You seem fine now.
You seem fine now.	Great! You're going to believe that fat dweeb Mr. Hardy over your own daughter.
Great! You're going to believe that fat dweeb Mr. Hardy over your own daughter.	I'm not sure what to believe anymore, young lady. You never used to lie to me. But lately you don't seem to know the difference between right and wrong.
Son of a bitch!	What?
Helen's going to be pissed.	See, that's the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.
Yeah, and we do it twenty times a day. Don't give me that crap. Just put on the taps. Now.	Sure, Harry. I'm on it.
--you tell the son of bitch this is Bright Boy Alert. Repeat, a Bright Boy Alert. And I need a patch of the White House ASAP. That's right--	... the Coast Guard has to clear them back to a twenty mile radius. Anybody that can't make the minimum safe distance we need an airlift on, immediately--
... well get the Highway Patrol to go through the streets and tell everybody on their damn loudspeakers. Just the basics... get away from windows, don't look at it... yeah--	Here they come.
So last night was pretty exciting, huh?	What? Oh, the flat tire? Yeah, I thought the damn towtruck was never going to get there.
17 years.	My God. Have you had to... have sex with other women in the line of duty?
My God. Have you had to... have sex with other women in the line of duty?	I don't take those assignments.
I don't take those assignments.	What about Juno?
What about Juno?	She's really a fox, isn't she?
She's really a fox, isn't she?	Did you pork her Harry?
Did you pork her Harry?	No. But I wanted to.
No. But I wanted to.	Are you a total lying, scumsucking pig Harry?
Are you a total lying, scumsucking pig Harry?	Looks that way.
Oh shit.	Wait here. If you have to use this, use it. Don't choke. Okay?
Okay, just ask yourself. What do women really want? You take these bored housewives, married to the same guy for years. Stuck in a rut. They need some release. The promise of adventure. A hint of danger. I create that for them.	So you're basically lying your ass off the whole time? I couldn't do it.
So you're basically lying your ass off the whole time? I couldn't do it.	Well, think of it as playing a role. It's fantasy. You have to work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily suburban grind for a few hours.

Exactly.

Nightmare.

It's a tightrope, Spud, a fucking tightrope.

My problem is that I tend to clam up. I go dumb and I can't answer any questions at all. Nerves on the big occasion, like a footballer.

Try this.

All I'm trying to do is help you understand that The Name of the Rose is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.

What about The Untouchables?

I don't rate that at all.

Despite the Academy award?

That means fuck all. The sympathy vote.

Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it any more. Is that it?

Yeah.

That's your theory?

Yeah, Beautifully fucking illustrated.

Give me the gun.

I think Allison had been screaming all day, but it hadn't really registered before. She might have been screaming for a week for all I knew. It's been days since I've heard anyone speak, though surely someone must have said something in all that time, surely to fuck someone must have.

What's wrong, Allison?

Oh, fuck. Sick Boy reaches out to Allison.

It wasn't my baby. She wasn't my baby. Baby Dawn. She wasn't mine. Spud's? Swanney's? Sick Boy's? I don't know. Maybe Allison knew. Maybe not. I wished I could think of something to say, something sympathetic, something human.

Say something, Mark, say something --

I'm cooking' up. There is a silence.

Eughh. Sounds horrible.

It wasn't that bad.

Did he -- you know?

What?

You know.

No, he didn't make me touch it.

Oh no, don't even mention it.

He made me lick it.

God, you're sick.

And I got a stitch stuck between my teeth, jerked my head back and the whole fucking stump fell off.

Cut it out.

When are you going to visit him?

Don't know. Maybe Thursday.

You're a real mate. And what about Tommy? Have you been to see him yet?

Fuck you. OK, so Tommy's got the virus. Bad news, big deal. The gig goes on, or hadn't you noticed? Swanney fucks his leg up. Well, tough shit, but it could have been worse.

You're all hear.

I know a couple of addicts. Stupid wee lassies. I feed them what they need. A little bit of skag to keep them happy while the punters line up at a fiver a skull. It's easy money for me. Not exactly a fortune, but I'm thinking, 'I should be coining it here.' Less whores, more skag. Swanney's right. Get clean, get into dealing, that's where the future lies. Set up some contacts, get a good load of skag, punt it, profit. What do you think?

Fuck you.

And I'll tell you why. Because I'm fed up to my back teeth with losers, no-hopers, draftpacks, schemies, junkies and the like. I'm getting on with life. What are you doing?

I can't believe you did that.

I got a good price for it. Rents, I need the money.

It was my fucking television.

Well, Christ, if I'd known you were going to get so humpty about it, I wouldn't have bothered. Are you going to eat that?

What was your price?

Four Grand.

But you don't have the money?

We're two thousand short.

That's tough.

Come on, Mark, every cunt knows you've been saving up down in London.

Sorry, boys, I don't have two thousand pounds.

Great.

And see when I get out of here. I've got plans. Going to get myself straightened out and head off to Thailand, where women really know how to treat a guy. See, out there you can live like a king if you've got white skin and a few crisp tenners in your pocket. No fucking problem.

Sure.

The strategy is this: get clean, get mobile, get into dealing, and this time next year I'll be watching the rising sun with a posse of oriental buttocks parked on my coupon.

Sounds great, Swanney.

Yeah.

You'll have to send us a postcard.

Sure will, pal, sure will.

How's it going with Gail?

No joy yet.

How long is it?

Six weeks.

Six weeks!

It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in.

Where did she come up with that?

She read it in Cosmopolitan.

Six weeks and no sex?

I've got balls like watermelons, I'm telling you.

Useless motherfucker, that's what she called me. I told her, I'm sorry, but theses things happen. Let's put it behind us.

That's fair enough.

Yes, but then she finds out I've bought a ticket for Iggy Pop the same night.

Went ballistic?

Big time. Absolutely fucking radge. 'It's me or Iggy Pop, time to decide.'

So what's it going to be?

Well, I've paid for the ticket.

What do you see as your main strengths?

I love people. All people. Even people that no one else loves, I think they're OK, you know. Like Beggars.

Homeless people?

No, not homeless people. Beggars, Francis Begbie -- one of my mates. I wouldn't say my best mate, I mean, sometimes the boy goes over the score, like one time when we -- me and him -- were having a laugh and all of a sudden he's fucking gubbed me in the face, right --

Mr. Murphy, {leaving your friend aside,} do you see yourself as having any weaknesses?

No. Well, yes. I have to admit it: I'm a perfectionist. For me, it's the best or nothing at all. If things go badly, I can't be bothered, but I have a good feeling about this interview. Seems to me like it's gone pretty well. We've touched on a lot of subjects, a lot of things to think about, for all of us.

Damnit, Spock. God damnit!

Captain, what have I done -

What you have done is betray every man on this ship.

Worse. I have betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.

Forgive you? I ought to knock you on your goddamn ass!

If you think it would help.

I hope you've enjoyed being a command program, Sark. I wonder how you'll like working in a pocket calculator... maybe one of those watches that plays "Happy Birthday" to its User once a year.

Now, sir... We did take care of that User you sent us --

Yes, and now you've got two renegade programs running all the hell over the system in a stolen simulation.

We'll get them, sir... These things take time.

I don't have time, Sark. And neither do you. End of line.

Dana, Mr. Hardy called. Why weren't you in class today?

He lies! I was there! I was in the nurse's office, cause I had a headache.

You seem fine now.

Great! You're going to believe that fat dweeb Mr. Hardy over your own daughter.

I'm not sure what to believe anymore, young lady. You never used to lie to me. But lately you don't seem to know the difference between right and wrong.

Son of a bitch!

What?

Helen's going to be pissed.

See, that's the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.

Yeah, and we do it twenty times a day. Don't give me that crap. Just put on the taps. Now.

Sure, Harry. I'm on it.

--you tell the son of bitch this is Bright Boy Alert. Repeat, a Bright Boy Alert. And I need a patch of the White House ASAP. That's right--

... the Coast Guard has to clear them back to a twenty mile radius. Anybody that can't make the minimum safe distance we need an airlift on, immediately--

... well get the Highway Patrol to go through the streets and tell everybody on their damn loudspeakers. Just the basics... get away from windows, don't look at it... yeah--

Here they come.

So last night was pretty exciting, huh?

What? Oh, the flat tire? Yeah, I thought the damn towtruck was never going to get there.

17 years.

My God. Have you had to... have sex with other women in the line of duty?

I don't take those assignments.

What about Juno?

She's really a fox, isn't she?

Did you pork her Harry?

No. But I wanted to.

Are you a total lying, scumsucking pig Harry?

Looks that way.

Oh shit.

Wait here. If you have to use this, use it. Don't choke. Okay?

Okay, just ask yourself. What do women really want? You take these bored housewives, married to the same guy for years. Stuck in a rut. They need some release. The promise of adventure. A hint of danger. I create that for them.

So you're basically lying your ass off the whole time? I couldn't do it.

Well, think of it as playing a role. It's fantasy. You have to work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily suburban grind for a few hours.