MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Well--I walked up to the front door. I was still alive. Big surprise. I rang the doorbell, and old Mrs. Wheeler answered. She had her Goddamn knitting. I said, "Guess who?" She conked right out.	How horrible.
How horrible.	Yeah--cripes. I never did get any sense out of Alice. She found me holding up the old lady, dead as a mackerel. It was a bitch. You know--maybe Mrs. Wheeler was going to die then and there anyway, even if I'd been the paper boy. Maybe not. I dunno, boy. That's civilian life for you. Who knows what kills anybody?
So long, you guys.	What will you do, Colonel?
What will you do, Colonel?	I dunno. Marry the first whore who's nice to me, I guess. Get a job in a motorcycle shop. So long, you guys.
And this is my son, Paul. He was only four years old when his father disappeared.	He's coming back, Mom! He's the bravest, most wonderful man who ever lived.
He's coming back, Mom! He's the bravest, most wonderful man who ever lived.	I told you this was a simple-minded play.
I told you this was a simple-minded play.	Maybe he'll come back tonight! It's his birthday.
Maybe he'll come back tonight! It's his birthday.	I know.
I know.	Stay home tonight!
Stay home tonight!	Oh, Paul--
Oh, Paul--	You're married! You've already got a husband!
You're married! You've already got a husband!	He's a ghost!
He's a ghost!	He's alive!
He's alive!	Not even Mutual of Omaha thinks so anymore.
Not even Mutual of Omaha thinks so anymore.	If you have to go out with some guy--can't he be more like Dad? Herb Shuttle and Norbert Woodly-- can't you do better than those two freaks?
If you have to go out with some guy--can't he be more like Dad? Herb Shuttle and Norbert Woodly-- can't you do better than those two freaks?	Thank you, kind sir.
Thank you, kind sir.	A vacuum cleaner salesman and a fairy doctor.
A vacuum cleaner salesman and a fairy doctor.	A what kind of doctor?
A what kind of doctor?	A fairy--a queer. Everybody in the building knows he's a queer.
A fairy--a queer. Everybody in the building knows he's a queer.	That's an interesting piece of news.
That's an interesting piece of news.	You're the only woman he ever took out.
You're the only woman he ever took out.	Not true.
Not true.	Still lives with his mother.
Still lives with his mother.	You know she has no feet! You want him to abandon his mother, who has no husband, who has no money of her own, who has no feet?
You know she has no feet! You want him to abandon his mother, who has no husband, who has no money of her own, who has no feet?	How did she lose her feet?
How did she lose her feet?	In a railroad accident many years ago.
In a railroad accident many years ago.	I was afraid to ask.
I was afraid to ask.	Norbert was just beginning practice. A real man would have sold her to a catfood company, I suppose. As far as that goes, J. Edgar Hoover still lives with his mother.
Norbert was just beginning practice. A real man would have sold her to a catfood company, I suppose. As far as that goes, J. Edgar Hoover still lives with his mother.	I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.	A lot of people don't.
A lot of people don't.	J. Edgar Hoover plays sports.
J. Edgar Hoover plays sports.	I don't really know.
I don't really know.	To only exercise Dr. Woodly ever gets is playing the violin and making that stupid peace sign. Peace. Peace. Peace, everybody.
Did you talk to Paul?	Before he started to run. He said his father carried a key to this apartment around his neck--and someday we'd all hear the sound of that key in the door.
Before he started to run. He said his father carried a key to this apartment around his neck--and someday we'd all hear the sound of that key in the door.	We've got to find him. I want you to show me exactly where you saw him last. And you stay here, Norbert, in case he comes home. That's all he said--the thing about the key?
We've got to find him. I want you to show me exactly where you saw him last. And you stay here, Norbert, in case he comes home. That's all he said--the thing about the key?	He said one other thing. It wasn't very nice.
He said one other thing. It wasn't very nice.	What was it?
What was it?	He told me to take a flying fuck at the moon.
This is very good for us.	It is?
It is?	The wilder Paul is tonight, the calmer he'll be tomorrow.
The wilder Paul is tonight, the calmer he'll be tomorrow.	As long as he keeps out of the park.
As long as he keeps out of the park.	After this explosion, I think, he'll be able to accept the fact that his mother is going to marry again.
After this explosion, I think, he'll be able to accept the fact that his mother is going to marry again.	The only thing I ever told him about life was, "Keep out of the park after the sun goes down."
The only thing I ever told him about life was, "Keep out of the park after the sun goes down."	We've got to dump Shuttle. He brings his vacuum cleaner on dates?
We've got to dump Shuttle. He brings his vacuum cleaner on dates?	That's the XKE.
That's the XKE.	The what?
The what?	It's an experimental model. He doesn't dare leave it in his car, for fear it will fall into the hands of competition.
It's an experimental model. He doesn't dare leave it in his car, for fear it will fall into the hands of competition.	What kind of a life is that?
What kind of a life is that?	He told me one time what the proudest moment of his life was. He made Eagle Scout when he was twenty-nine years old. Oh, Norbert--promise me that Paul has not gone into the park!
He told me one time what the proudest moment of his life was. He made Eagle Scout when he was twenty-nine years old. Oh, Norbert--promise me that Paul has not gone into the park!	If you warned him against it as much as you say, it's almost a certainty.
If you warned him against it as much as you say, it's almost a certainty.	No! Oh no! Three people murdered in there in the last six weeks! The police won't even go in there any more.
No! Oh no! Three people murdered in there in the last six weeks! The police won't even go in there any more.	I wish Paul luck.
I wish Paul luck.	It's suicide!
It's suicide!	I'd be dead by now if that were the case.
I'd be dead by now if that were the case.	Meaning?
Meaning?	Every night, Penelope, for the past two years, I've made it a point to walk through the park at midnight.
Every night, Penelope, for the past two years, I've made it a point to walk through the park at midnight.	Why would you do that?
Why would you do that?	To show myself how brave I am. The issue's in doubt, you know--since I'm always for peace--
To show myself how brave I am. The issue's in doubt, you know--since I'm always for peace--	I'm amazed.
I'm amazed.	Me, too. I know something not even the police know--what's in the park at midnight. Nothing. Or, when I'm in there, there's me in there. Fear and nobody and me.
Me, too. I know something not even the police know--what's in the park at midnight. Nothing. Or, when I'm in there, there's me in there. Fear and nobody and me.	And maybe Paul. What about the murderers? They're in there!
And maybe Paul. What about the murderers? They're in there!	They didn't murder me.
They didn't murder me.	Paul's only twelve years old.
Paul's only twelve years old.	He can make the sound of human footsteps--which is a terrifying sound.
He can make the sound of human footsteps--which is a terrifying sound.	We've got to rescue him.
We've got to rescue him.	If he is in the park, luck is all that can save him now, and there's plenty of that.
If he is in the park, luck is all that can save him now, and there's plenty of that.	He's not your son.
He's not your son.	No. But he's going to be. If he is in the park and he comes out safely on the other side, I can say to him, "You and I are the only men with balls enough to walk through the park at midnight." On that we can build.
No. But he's going to be. If he is in the park and he comes out safely on the other side, I can say to him, "You and I are the only men with balls enough to walk through the park at midnight." On that we can build.	It's a jungle out there.
It's a jungle out there.	That's been said before.
That's been said before.	He'd go to a movie. I think that's what he'd do. If I were sure he was in a movie, I could stop worrying. We could have him paged.
Apparently your friend has gone into Mexico. A Border Guard responded to the APB. How does it feel to have the L.A.P.D. doing your work for you?	You're going to thank me for this. You know what the media's like. They love this kinda shit. If that guy goes off half-cocked and gets himself hurt, you're going to have so much bad publicity, you...
You're going to thank me for this. You know what the media's like. They love this kinda shit. If that guy goes off half-cocked and gets himself hurt, you're going to have so much bad publicity, you...	I heard you the first time. We had nothing to go on with this kid. Just a runaway. Do you really think he's in danger?
I heard you the first time. We had nothing to go on with this kid. Just a runaway. Do you really think he's in danger?	If he has anything to say about it, yeah. I've been asking a lot of questions and I don't like the answers I'm getting. He's made a lot of people nervous, including some poor faggot who thought he was going to be a movie star.
If he has anything to say about it, yeah. I've been asking a lot of questions and I don't like the answers I'm getting. He's made a lot of people nervous, including some poor faggot who thought he was going to be a movie star.	We aren't gonna arrest him for that...
We aren't gonna arrest him for that...	Big threat. TV would ream you.
Big threat. TV would ream you.	Keep me informed of what he's up to. You help me, I'll help you.
You really shouldn't eat like that. All that sugar. It's not good for you.	At least I'm a growing person.
At least I'm a growing person.	You won't keep growing at this rate.
You won't keep growing at this rate.	What rate?
What rate?	You know what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm talking about.	You never met a working girl before, have you? You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what? You can't even say it, can you?
You never met a working girl before, have you? You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what? You can't even say it, can you?	Say what?
Say what?	'Sucking off.'
'Sucking off.'	Okay. Sucking off. Now does that make me as good as you?
Okay. Sucking off. Now does that make me as good as you?	You don't understand shit.
You don't understand shit.	Okay, tell me. Why do you live like you do?
Okay, tell me. Why do you live like you do?	Did you ever live in a room with six people and you didn't have any money, any food, any furniture? Have your brother come out, his car break down, he can't get a job? Your friends stealing food, going through trash behind a supermarket?
Did you ever live in a room with six people and you didn't have any money, any food, any furniture? Have your brother come out, his car break down, he can't get a job? Your friends stealing food, going through trash behind a supermarket?	Is that the way it was with you?
Is that the way it was with you?	No. But does it make any difference? How did you get to be the way you are?
Don't knock it. A girl can save up a lot money doing this -- big money. Then you're free. You can go off to Europe, meet somebody, get married. My girlfriend's going to buy her own beauty parlor. Not me. I'm gonna travel. 'Keep movin' that's my motto. Would you rather work at Copper Penny at a dollar-eighty an hour, having every two-bit cocksucker able to yell at you? I can make more money suc... doing what I do for five minutes than I can all week at another job.	You used to work at Copper Penny?
You used to work at Copper Penny?	No.
No.	You and I, Niki, have very different ideas about sex.
You and I, Niki, have very different ideas about sex.	Why? Are you a sex fiend?
Why? Are you a sex fiend?	No.
No.	Neither am I.
Neither am I.	But it's all you do.
But it's all you do.	How important do you think sex is?
How important do you think sex is?	Not very.
Not very.	We're just alike. You think sex is so unimportant you don't do it. I think sex is so unimportant I don't care who I do it with.

Well--I walked up to the front door. I was still alive. Big surprise. I rang the doorbell, and old Mrs. Wheeler answered. She had her Goddamn knitting. I said, "Guess who?" She conked right out.

How horrible.

Yeah--cripes. I never did get any sense out of Alice. She found me holding up the old lady, dead as a mackerel. It was a bitch. You know--maybe Mrs. Wheeler was going to die then and there anyway, even if I'd been the paper boy. Maybe not. I dunno, boy. That's civilian life for you. Who knows what kills anybody?

So long, you guys.

What will you do, Colonel?

I dunno. Marry the first whore who's nice to me, I guess. Get a job in a motorcycle shop. So long, you guys.

And this is my son, Paul. He was only four years old when his father disappeared.

He's coming back, Mom! He's the bravest, most wonderful man who ever lived.

I told you this was a simple-minded play.

Maybe he'll come back tonight! It's his birthday.

I know.

Stay home tonight!

Oh, Paul--

You're married! You've already got a husband!

He's a ghost!

He's alive!

Not even Mutual of Omaha thinks so anymore.

If you have to go out with some guy--can't he be more like Dad? Herb Shuttle and Norbert Woodly-- can't you do better than those two freaks?

Thank you, kind sir.

A vacuum cleaner salesman and a fairy doctor.

A what kind of doctor?

A fairy--a queer. Everybody in the building knows he's a queer.

That's an interesting piece of news.

You're the only woman he ever took out.

Not true.

Still lives with his mother.

You know she has no feet! You want him to abandon his mother, who has no husband, who has no money of her own, who has no feet?

How did she lose her feet?

In a railroad accident many years ago.

I was afraid to ask.

Norbert was just beginning practice. A real man would have sold her to a catfood company, I suppose. As far as that goes, J. Edgar Hoover still lives with his mother.

I didn't know that.

A lot of people don't.

J. Edgar Hoover plays sports.

I don't really know.

To only exercise Dr. Woodly ever gets is playing the violin and making that stupid peace sign. Peace. Peace. Peace, everybody.

Did you talk to Paul?

Before he started to run. He said his father carried a key to this apartment around his neck--and someday we'd all hear the sound of that key in the door.

We've got to find him. I want you to show me exactly where you saw him last. And you stay here, Norbert, in case he comes home. That's all he said--the thing about the key?

He said one other thing. It wasn't very nice.

What was it?

He told me to take a flying fuck at the moon.

This is very good for us.

It is?

The wilder Paul is tonight, the calmer he'll be tomorrow.

As long as he keeps out of the park.

After this explosion, I think, he'll be able to accept the fact that his mother is going to marry again.

The only thing I ever told him about life was, "Keep out of the park after the sun goes down."

We've got to dump Shuttle. He brings his vacuum cleaner on dates?

That's the XKE.

The what?

It's an experimental model. He doesn't dare leave it in his car, for fear it will fall into the hands of competition.

What kind of a life is that?

He told me one time what the proudest moment of his life was. He made Eagle Scout when he was twenty-nine years old. Oh, Norbert--promise me that Paul has not gone into the park!

If you warned him against it as much as you say, it's almost a certainty.

No! Oh no! Three people murdered in there in the last six weeks! The police won't even go in there any more.

I wish Paul luck.

It's suicide!

I'd be dead by now if that were the case.

Meaning?

Every night, Penelope, for the past two years, I've made it a point to walk through the park at midnight.

Why would you do that?

To show myself how brave I am. The issue's in doubt, you know--since I'm always for peace--

I'm amazed.

Me, too. I know something not even the police know--what's in the park at midnight. Nothing. Or, when I'm in there, there's me in there. Fear and nobody and me.

And maybe Paul. What about the murderers? They're in there!

They didn't murder me.

Paul's only twelve years old.

He can make the sound of human footsteps--which is a terrifying sound.

We've got to rescue him.

If he is in the park, luck is all that can save him now, and there's plenty of that.

He's not your son.

No. But he's going to be. If he is in the park and he comes out safely on the other side, I can say to him, "You and I are the only men with balls enough to walk through the park at midnight." On that we can build.

It's a jungle out there.

That's been said before.

He'd go to a movie. I think that's what he'd do. If I were sure he was in a movie, I could stop worrying. We could have him paged.

Apparently your friend has gone into Mexico. A Border Guard responded to the APB. How does it feel to have the L.A.P.D. doing your work for you?

You're going to thank me for this. You know what the media's like. They love this kinda shit. If that guy goes off half-cocked and gets himself hurt, you're going to have so much bad publicity, you...

I heard you the first time. We had nothing to go on with this kid. Just a runaway. Do you really think he's in danger?

If he has anything to say about it, yeah. I've been asking a lot of questions and I don't like the answers I'm getting. He's made a lot of people nervous, including some poor faggot who thought he was going to be a movie star.

We aren't gonna arrest him for that...

Big threat. TV would ream you.

Keep me informed of what he's up to. You help me, I'll help you.

You really shouldn't eat like that. All that sugar. It's not good for you.

At least I'm a growing person.

You won't keep growing at this rate.

What rate?

You know what I'm talking about.

You never met a working girl before, have you? You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what? You can't even say it, can you?

Say what?

'Sucking off.'

Okay. Sucking off. Now does that make me as good as you?

You don't understand shit.

Okay, tell me. Why do you live like you do?

Did you ever live in a room with six people and you didn't have any money, any food, any furniture? Have your brother come out, his car break down, he can't get a job? Your friends stealing food, going through trash behind a supermarket?

Is that the way it was with you?

No. But does it make any difference? How did you get to be the way you are?

Don't knock it. A girl can save up a lot money doing this -- big money. Then you're free. You can go off to Europe, meet somebody, get married. My girlfriend's going to buy her own beauty parlor. Not me. I'm gonna travel. 'Keep movin' that's my motto. Would you rather work at Copper Penny at a dollar-eighty an hour, having every two-bit cocksucker able to yell at you? I can make more money suc... doing what I do for five minutes than I can all week at another job.

You used to work at Copper Penny?

No.

You and I, Niki, have very different ideas about sex.

Why? Are you a sex fiend?

No.

Neither am I.

But it's all you do.

How important do you think sex is?

Not very.

We're just alike. You think sex is so unimportant you don't do it. I think sex is so unimportant I don't care who I do it with.