3.txt

It doesn't take long for us to buy the ibuprofen. I make sure to find some licorice as well. Rae explains how a credit card works; apparently coins are not such a common means of payment anymore, though paper bills are still somewhat common. I also notice the expression on Rae’s face when she notes that my credit card is a gold one. A sign of affluence, I surmise. I might be something akin to nobility here as well, but I suppose that explanation is best left up to Catherine. 

Our trip off campus to the pharmacy doesn’t take much time, and Rae decides to take the opportunity to make some headway into her ‘crash course’ in modern life. It’s quite a lot of information to take in all at once, and I can already tell I will need to go over it again later. The university is in the middle of the city, Tokyo, and I try not to get distracted by all the new architecture all around us. I even spy several large towering buildings—skyscrapers, as Rae calls them. They dwarf anything from Bauer.

By the time we make it to the dorms, the only thing I can really recall about what she told me is that the internet is important and I have to be careful when I use it. And it’s not a literal net . Soon we are in front of my room, which has a six hundred and seventy two written on the door. I had not expected the hall to look so… plain. It's hard to believe that people are living in such a dull place. At least my door key still works the same way here.

“Claire?” I can hear Catherine’s voice inside as I open the door. The room is quite big, and looks well-serviced. I think I can even see something resembling a kitchen area, along with a couple of beds, two desks and a pair of sofas facing a thin black slate hanging on the wall. Its style and shape reminds me of the phone from earlier, but much, much larger.

Rae whistles. “Wow, sick flat.”

“Catherine, I’m back! We brought the ibuprofen you asked for.” It doesn’t take long to spot her— she’s sitting on one of the sofas, rubbing her shorter left leg. She is missing the half below the knee in this life as well. The incident that claimed my mother’s life was to blame before, but in this life I wonder…

“Can you bring it over? I had to take my leg off. It’s been a bad day.” Take her leg off ? She is trying to keep her breathing steady through the pain. I waste no time giving her the bottle we acquired. “Thank God,” she says, popping the bottle open and taking out two small pills. She swallows them in one gulp, then sighs and sinks into the sofa. “ Please let it kick in soon. So who is your new friend ? Oohashi-san, was that it?”

“Um, yes, this is Rae.” I gesture for Rae to come in and sit down. Catherine sighs. I feel a little guilty introducing the two of them while Catherine can’t escape like she used to back in my old life, but this conversation has to happen. “Rae was my wife.”

“Francois-san! You can’t lead  with that!” Rae spouts, trying to keep herself from shouting.

Catherine inspects the bottle once more. She shuts her eyes for a beat, then looks at me. “ What ?”

“Today I woke up with memories of a previous life where I was married to Rae.” I explain. I have no intention of wasting time by beating around the bush.

“It’s also worth  mentioning that she no longer has any memories from this life.” Rae jumps in, sounding a little annoyed.

“Oh,” is all Catherine says. She looks at the bottle once more, but can’t find any answers there. Silence fills the room. I do my best to wait for her, but it is taking a while. I start to give an explanation, but she cuts me off before I can voice anything. “Please just let the meds kick in first.”

Eventually Catherine leans forward again, rubbing her knee and its stump. Letting out a breath, she finally says, “Okay, what the fuck Claire? What are you trying to pull?”

It seems cursing is a far more common thing in this world. I sigh. “I am not trying to pull anything; it’s the truth.” I try to school my temper but the accusation irks me, and I can hear the edge in my voice.

“Right, Claire, this is stupid. You can’t actually expect me to believe this, and for what? To avoid apologizing for dragging me to a stupid mixer I didn’t want to go to? My prosthetic got broken and you didn’t even help me get home. You just ditched me to do what? Get laid! I’m actually mad now! I can’t believe you right now.” Catherine is practically apoplectic. I have never seen her mad like this before, and it’s apparently my fault. Or some version of myself. The story she recounts makes my stomach twist. How could I do that to her?

“Catherine, I have much to make up for, and I will start doing so immediately, but please—I can’t recall anything about what happened in this life before an hour ago.” Please believe me.

Catherine glares at me. I can see tears prickle the corners of her eyes. “God, I can’t believe you would stoop to something this stupid. Find yourself a new roommate, Claire.”

“Hey, come on, she’s telling the truth. I didn’t believe her at first but there really isn’t any other explanation.” Rae jumps up and protectively gets in between the two of us.

Catherine just lets out a humorless laugh, “Oh, and how did she wrap you up in this? Did she pay you to lie to me, wifey ?”

Rae grits her teeth but overwise stays calm. “We’ve never talked before today and yet she knew a lot of things about me, private things . Maybe you could try explaining that.”

“ Oh ? And exactly what sort of private things did she know?”

Rae takes a deep breath. “She knew I was gay.” The last word comes out a squeak and Rae blushes.

Catherine just rolls her eyes. “I could have told you that just watching you being around her for five minutes. Try again .”

Rae take another deep breath, “She knew about my friend’s suicide.”

Catherine doesn’t say anything. She looks genuinely taken aback.

Rae takes a moment to stabilize herself. She’s starting to tremble again. “He… he was born a girl, but he couldn’t be himself. His family wouldn’t let him… and after we all graduated he took his life. Only a few of us knew what he was going through, and his family still denies it.” Rae is holding back a lot and she is visibly shaking. “No one could have known, but Francois-san knew and she knew why. The only way she could have known is if I told her. And she said the me in her past life told her.”

I move next to Rae and  wrap my arm around her, drawing her in. She feels so small.

Catherine eyes us. I can see her still trying to figure out what is happening, but I think the doubt is starting to falter. “You could still be lying.”

“My friend is—”

“Hey, hey, that's not what I…” She sighs. “I’m sorry, that sucks. This… still doesn’t sound real. Claire, you weren't surprised when you saw me missing half a leg. How do you explain that?”

I lead Rae back to a seat on a sofa and sit beside her. “In my past life you also lost your leg in that… accident.” 

“How did that accident happen there, then?” She narrows her gaze.

“My father had been trying to achieve political reform amongst the nobility. Commoners were being abused by the nobility in many places in the Kingdom of Bauer. His opponents had arranged for an accident to happen on his carriage trip between states.” I know how Catherine feels about her involvement with this ‘accident’. I don’t blame her for her role in it, but I know she blamed herself for many years. “His carriage was pushed off a cliff pass and it collided with your own. You lost your leg, and my mother lost her life. Shortly thereafter I was sent to live with my second cousin, Sister Manaria, for half a year in the kingdom of Sousse. Despite it all, you and I remained friends thereafter. I am sorry for how poorly this version of me has treated you as of late.”

Catherine listens quietly, betraying little of her thoughts. Her only reaction is when I mention my mother dying. Seeing Catherine’s amputated leg means my mother has passed on here as well.

“Claire.” There isn’t an edge to Catherine’s voice this time; it’s been replaced with… concern. “This is a really shity thing to do if you’re not lying…” She lets out a heavy breath. “But I need to see one more thing. Can you please open up your phone and look at your photos from, like, a month back?”

Phone ? Oh right, the thing I used earlier. I dig through my bag and pull out the phone again. How I am supposed to open this? It is only one piece.

“Oh, umm, when she says open it up she means start it up, turn it on,” Rae says. She holds out her hand for the phone. Catherine watches the interaction but is otherwise silent. “Okay, so before when she called you, it turned on because that's what it does when a call comes in. When there isn’t a call you can open it up like this.” She tilts the phone to show its side, pointing out a small button. When she presses it, the phone lights up again. There is a picture of a scenic view. “So this is the lock screen, which shows the time and date. Let's hope you have it on face recognition.” Rae looks to Catherine, but she makes no further comment. She taps the phone and the surface changes again. “Okay so when you do this, it will unlock if you show it your face.” The phone’s surface is now like a mirror. She tilts it so my face is reflected and then it chimes and many symbols show up. “Thank god we didn’t need a pin. Okay so should we go to her photo album or Insta or what?”

“Just her album,” Catherine replies, betraying no emotion. She is watching me carefully.

“Right…” Rae starts to tap the phone, moving the symbols and then tapping one which now shows many small pictures, perfect little images, like the reflection from before but still and unmoving. She swipes the phone more and the picture move quickly—”

“Stop!” I grab the phone, feeling my heart in my throat.

It’s my mother.

“How do I…?”

“Just tap,” Rae says.

I gulp and tap the small picture which expands to fill the phone’s surface. It's a picture of my mother and me, in which she is smiling and I am frowning. The me in the picture is the exact same me I am right now. The me from here….

“Catherine…” I can feel tears starting to well in my eyes. My throat is tightening and I can feel Rae’s hand on my shoulder. I can’t keep it in—somehow, my mother isn’t dead. A ugly sound escapes my throat but I’m smiling through the tears. I can see my mother again. I can tell her I’m sorry. Oh God, she won’t even know what I am talking about but that doesn’t matter—

“Claire….” Catherine's voice is very measured, careful. I understand that tone. “What happened to your father in your other life?”

“I…” It feels like I am six again. I struggle to even get the words out. “He lived…” Catherine’s silence is very telling and she looks at the floor. “He lived a long life. He lived to see our girls grow up, Rae, he—”  I choke back a very different sob this time. “He loved them.”

Rae pulls me into a hug and another ugly sob escapes from me. Rationally I know that I shouldn't be so upset, but knowing everything he won't be here for this time is heartbreaking. May and Aleah loved him so much and now…

Rae just holds me and rocks me. Bless her, she is still here for me. Trading one parent for the other…

“I’m sorry, Claire.” Catherine sounds exhausted.

“I shouldn’t be upset, I… I already lived a full life with him… I’m… I’m just being selfish.”

“Hey,” Rae says softly, “you’re allowed to be selfish.”

Catherine clears her throat. “You never let anyone touch your phone and… I’m sorry, I’m still having trouble believing it, but I had to be sure. At least I know you aren’t lying anymore. You may be deluded, but you aren’t lying.”

I take a breath to try to calm myself.

“There’s so much she doesn’t know now. She doesn’t know how to use a phone, if she could drive before she can’t now, and I don’t even know how she is supposed to do her classes.” Rae tries her best to explain and slowly pulls back from me. Hesitantly, I let her. 

I miss the closeness and have to fight the urge to grab her again.

Catherine just groans and sinks back into the sofa.

“She needs help, umm…”

“It’s Achard, Catherine Achard.” Catherine introduces herself, not hiding her annoyance.

“Thank you Achard-san.” At least Rae is being polite.

“So are you helping her too, then Oohashi-san?” Catherine asks.

“Yes, I’ll help. We share some classes, so I can help you catch up and you can ask me questions that would be weird to ask others,” she says, turning to me. She has a soft smile, but she is bashful and has trouble looking at me directly.

I give her a light hug. “Thank you Rae. Even here you come to my rescue.” 

She gives off a nervous laugh as I pull back. Catherine is analyzing us again. ‘Really?’ I can hear her say with just her stare. I make sure my return stare says yes.

Catherine and Rae spend some time working out an itinerary, dubbed the ‘Modernize Claire Plan’. There is little I can do to assist outside of confirming I do have some education in subjects that can carry over, such as arithmetic and writing. My knowledge of science is extremely lacking, apparently. Evening falls before we’re even aware of it.

“I’m going to have to get going soon,” Rae says after doing a stretch. “ My roommate is going to worry if I’m out too long. I think we’re off to a good start. I can come over early in the morning and help you get to class until you are used to it yourself.”

“I would apprentice that. Thank you Rae.” A light blush dusts her cheeks and it’s too cute.

I want to kiss her.

Remember, take it slow Claire. She doesn’t know you.

“Oh, one more thing… it would be a good idea to maybe exchange numbers, so you can reach me.” Rea stutters and her blush deepens. I can’t help but laugh at how she acts.

“Numbers?” 

“Phone numbers. The phone can remember them, but you need to tell it first. It’s how it knows who to call.” She explains.

“Oh right, I think you might have mentioned that. Sorry, it’s been a lot to take in…how does that work?”

Thankfully the process isn’t too complicated. Rae shows me where all the numbers are recorded. Apparently the other me had collected many of them, mostly from names I don’t recognize. I think I might be getting a handle on using this device, though. I am even able to make a ‘profile’ for Rae. She has to help, of course, but it’s still a little exciting. She shows me one more time how to call a ‘contact’. I know who I want to call first.

“Oh, another thing you should know is how to text people. It’s like, um, writing a letter I guess, but it’s done through the phone. Here, let me show you.” She starts tapping away on her own phone. “Check your phone now.”

My phone shakes and I see, what was it called, a notification ?

Hi

Oh that’s lovely. I imagine it’s slow in contrast to how fast Rae did it, but I write out a simple reply.

Hello

“Look, you're a natural.” Rae encourages me, even though this has to be a simple thing to her.

“It’s starting to make more sense.” It will be so easy to keep in touch with her now.

“Cool…. Um, you should probably not get too deep into all the other stuff on the phone yet. We can ease you into the rest.” She waves her hand over the phone. She did mention there was a lot more it could do.

Catherine chimes in. “Yeah, we don’t want you ruining your life even more by doing something stupid on your phone.”

I laugh. “Surely you jest.”

Their silence is a bit unnerving.

“But how—”

“Just trust us, we’ll ease you into it. You’ve already had to take in a lot tonight and we haven’t even really talked about the internet.”

She mentioned that before. Wait, I think Rae mentioned something about that in our past life… “Computers?”

“You remember something?” Rae looks a bit surprised.

“Well no, not in the way you’re thinking.  You used to talk about computers in our past life, mostly when you complained about not having them anymore or some such. Computers use the internet, right? That’s why it sounded familiar.” Rae missed those a lot.

“Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. It would suck to lose that. Well, I’m going to get out of here.” Rae pulls herself off the sofa and collects her bag, making her way to the door.

“Wait, one last thing.” I follow her over to the door. “Is your roommate Misha, perchance?”

Rae does a double take, “How did you…  okay, that’s kinda freaky, Francois-san.”

“She was your roommate when we went to school, too.” I wonder if there are others from our past life here too. Yu, Thane, Rod, even Loretta and Pepi. I can worry about that later, however. “I just thought to ask because we were all close friends, and I get the feeling that I don’t know Misha here. The main point I want to make  is that you should tell Misha about this if you think it isn’t a bad idea. I trust her, and if you think it would help I don’t mind her knowing about this.”

Rae nods slowly, though she seems uncertain, “Are you sure? You’re right that it might make some things easier, but…”

“I trust her, Rae,” I say again.

“Okay…she’s probably just going to think I’m crazy.” Rae gets a little lost in her head, trying to play out that conversation.

“Oh believe me, she has put up with far worse from you.” I laugh and pull her into a quick hug. “Make it home safely. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Rae stutters, not really saying anything outside of squeaking a quick “Bye” before disappearing out the door. I really want to tease her more. I miss the kisses we used to have when we parted.

“Man, what a dork,” Catherine says once the door closes.

“Don’t be mean.” I take a seat on the sofa.

“You really do like her, don’t you?” It’s not hard to imagine how different I must seem to her now. Did the me here…

“Did the old me ever show an interest in girls?”

“If you did, you were so deep in the closet you made sure no one else knew.” 

“Right, Rae used to use that expression too.”

“It means you were hiding that you were gay, or queer, I guess.”

“And I suppose I wasn’t the most sympathetic about trans people either?”

“...Yeah, I don’t know. Not like this at least. So you’re just cool with all of that?” I’m not quite sure what she means to ask.

“It would be weirder for me to not be. Rae and I have been married for so long.” It makes me feel so soft just thinking about it.

“This is so weird. You never smile like that.”

I can’t stop my brow from quirking. “Like I’m happy?”

“Errr… yeah.” Catherine is hesitant to elaborate.

What was I even like here? In a way, I have erased the old Claire. What did she mean to other people here? “Was I happy here before?”

Catherine gnaws her lip. “I don’t know. It didn’t seem like it.”

“I seem to have stolen your Claire, haven’t I?” Rae had said she held onto her memories from both of her lives. It would be a lie if I said I weren’t frustrated to not have that same luxury.

Catherine mulls it over some more. “I don’t know, it’s weird. You still feel like you. Just not mad or absent anymore. You could be a real bitch before… sorry. You also talk a little differently, too.”

I can’t help but chuckle. “Well, I was definitely hard to deal with when I was younger. Oh.” I pull open my bag and find the other half of my purchase. “I got you some licorice along with your medicine.”

Catherine’s brow furrows in confusion as I lean over to pass the bag of her favorite candy. “How? …you haven’t given me candy since we were kids.”

“Consider it my apology for my earlier behavior. Can I ask, is your father terrible here too?" In the world I remembered he had been arrested, and Catherine had used her magic to erase his memories before trying to disappear herself. I doubt she can pull that trick again here.

Her face contorts in disgust. I can already tell what she’s going to say, but she answers anyway. “Yes, and If I never have to talk to that shit stain again, all the better.” She pops open the bag of licorice and angrily stuffs several pieces in her mouth. “Thanks,” she huffs, and then eats a few more.

I could ask about my parents, and about what happened here. But that would lead to potentially talking about a very touchy subject far too soon. It can wait. For now. It still feels unreal that Mother is alive and well here and I could talk to her again. I don’t think I am ready for that yet. 

“You doing okay?” Catherine asks, drawing me out of my thoughts.

“I think so, yes, it's… it’s exciting, but it’s also a lot and so much of it is intimidating. Rae honestly made it look so easy in our past life, yet here I didn’t even know how to purchase something. Thank you for asking, Catherine.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I have no idea how we’re going to onboard you as fast as we need to, let alone get you up to speed for classes. Not that your grades were that stellar…” Catherine mumbles that last part as she chews her candy. The licorice seems to have helped her mood even more than the medicine.

How could I let my grades slip, though? “What was that about my grades?”

Catherine takes a moment to finish chewing and swallowing her treats. “Well… I would say some social obligations had taken a higher priority for you. You’ve had good grades in the past but… I don’t really know the whole story. You don’t exactly talk about yourself very much—”

“And even if I did, I didn’t have the best self awareness when I was younger.” I can’t help the self-deprecating laugh that comes out.

Catherine mulls the comment over, as if she had only planned to hint at what I just said and is somewhat nonplussed that I just spelled it out. “Huh, this is weird. It’s like I’m talking to an older version of you or something, I guess.”

“I raised two daughters, Catherine.” I was older, but now I feel young again.

Catherine just stares at me, trying to take in such a  misleadingly simple statement. “Really? How old were you?”

What is the last thing I remember? Lying down. Rae holding my hand, or was I holding hers? The girls were there. Beautiful as always. The rest… feels hazy. “I think we had grown old together, Catherine. Old enough that those last years are hard to remember.”

“Do you feel like an … old lady?”

“I… don’t think so? It’s weird—I can recall so much, but it’s almost like a vivid dream. I feel young, like I am twenty again.” There has been so much to take in, but I feel ready to take on this new life. I can see Catherine is mulling over some thoughts, brooding slightly. Is she trying to piece together how she fit into my old life?

“We were friends until the end.” That draws her out of her reverie and she looks up, a question clearly tugging at her. I can see she isn’t ready to ask it yet, which is good because I don’t think I am ready to answer. “You mentioned a party or something before?”

She sinks into the couch and eats another piece of her licorice. “Yeah, there was a mixer. You dragged me into it and then disappeared. I think you were trying to get close to Bauer Thane-san but you kept a lot of that to yourself.”

“King Thane is here too?” I can’t help but sound elated at the idea that our other old friends are here. “Does that mean Rod-san and Yu-chan are here too?”

Catherine is caught more than a bit off guard. “King?”

“Oh, are they not royalty here? They were the princes and princess before. Thane-san took the throne.” My explanation doesn’t really resolve Catherine’s confusion.

“Royalty? Well they are loaded since their dad is the CEO of a major corporation… wait—princess?” That last word hangs in the air.

Oh.

Oh no.

Is Yu… Oh no, is Yu not herself here? Yet?  Is she the same? “Please forget I said that. I meant princes.”

Catherine just eyes me, not really satisfied.

“Look, I don’t know if it’s the same, but it’s not my place to say something about Yu if it is not commonly known and they haven’t said anything about it yet either. Please don’t mention it to anyone, as it might not even be the case here.” Goodness, I should have been more careful about that. Rae always stressed the importance of maintaining one’s privacy about matters like this.

Misaki... I am doing terribly at this.

Catherine sighs. “You should be careful about spilling secrets then, or potential secrets. Yu, huh? Okay, now that I see it I can’t unsee it.”

“Please, if she isn’t ready—”

“He,” Catherine corrects me. I take a breath. I know she is trying to reinforce that I need to use that pronoun here, but it still rubs me the wrong way.

“If Yu isn’t ready, I don’t want to be the reason something bad happens. It was complicated then, and I have to imagine it will be difficult here too.”

Catherine just nods and snacks on another candy. It seems some things don’t change, but she is going to run out at this rate. “So nothing on Bauer-san?”

“Hrm? We had always been friends with him and his siblings . What do you mean?” What is she getting at?

“Wow, nothing, huh? You were so… umm, how to put it. You were kinda desperate about Thane before?” I can tell she is trying to be somewhat tactful about it, but honestly it’s not needed.

“Right. I suppose I had a bit of a crush on him before Rae came along. Wow, I had forgotten about that. It was so long ago, and nothing more than a childish crush at the time.”

“This is so weird. You used to go on about him like dating him was going to fix everything and it was the only thing that mattered.”

I can’t help but chuckle, “Well, maybe I thought that at the time before too, but then Rae found me. And, well, she is my everything .” 

Catherine smirks. “Wow, you really do have it bad for that otaku.”

“I don’t know what an otaku is, but I can’t help how I feel.  I love her.” I’m smiling. Even after a lifetime my feelings have never faded, and something about doing it all over again makes me feel nostalgic and hopeful.

“Ugh, gross.” Catherine laughs and throws one of the sofa cushions at me, which bounces off harmlessly. “I prefer my treats bitter, not whatever you have going on there. But I’m happy for you, I think.”