title
stringlengths 1
300
| content
stringlengths 1
39k
⌀ | score
int64 0
6.38k
|
|---|---|---|
My grandpa died of COVID last night | Get some Fs in the comments | 4 |
Sadness | Im 38 years old. I fell like screaming but nobody can hear me. Why did i fall when i was 37. Why cant anyone hear me. | 3 |
Being close is good,but getting replace is on a next level....tall stay safe tho | null | 1 |
My efforts are not appreciated | Is there anyone out there who already felt that your efforts are not well appreciated? That you are still to be blamed after all the efforts you gave?
Please I wish someone I can talk to. 🥺😢🥺😢🥺😢 | 2 |
It would have been better if I wasn't born. | I don't usually post here.. I just reply to people's posts trying to comfort or motivate them. I always tried solving my problem without posting here. But past few days have been seriously rough on me so had to come here. Cannot keep it to myself anymore.
I really am starting to think these days that it would have been much better if my family only had two daughters. It would have been better if me (third son) was never born in the first place. I am no use to them. I was always a coward. Got bullied in school and college, never raised my voice to anything, only kept enduring thinking that not everyone is bad and one day I will get good people, or it will get better one day.. But it never got better now that I think about it. I recently graduated thinking atleast now I will get a job and maybe I will see at life in a more positive manner but now I am not getting a job...
My dry eyes issue doesn't allow me to stare at a computer screen for long so I thought maybe getting a salesperson or a counter cashier job will atleast allow me to collect money so that someday I can open my own business... But now getting a job itself is starting to feel impossible. I am genuinely nothing but a burden. I got no experience in any job, nor am I very smart, nor am I very athletic, nor am I good with roads (I got a seriously bad sense of direction). It's like I don't have anything that I am good at.
My father always hated me, and I always blamed him for my insecurity feelings all the time, but now I feel like his hatred is kinda justified. I mean who would like a person like me? It won't be long before my other family members start hating me too I feel like.
I already had anxiety issues, then I had insecurity, and now self loathing is starting too. I should have never been in the world to begin with. It would be so much better if I wake up one day and realize I never existed. | 6 |
Empty | Does the empty feeling ever go away?
I have felt this empty feeling for a long time but not sure where it comes from.
A friend committed suicided but I felt nothing and we were good friends, I am sure this is not normal. I felt the same when one of my cousin brother died... nothing. | 5 |
I'm Lost | Hello Dear Reader!!
I'm a college student who's in their first year. After the start of long lockdown in 2020 I was very happy... My boards had just finished and I was getting ready for my entrances and excited to join college. It wasn't that hard for the first year. But for the past few months I feel lifeless... I used to love reading and acing my classes... And now it's all in vain.... I am confused about my life!! Is what I am doing enough? Am I even doing anything? My life now is eat, join the class, sleep and repeat! That's all there is.... I try engaging myself in various activities and all. But I don't know how to make new friends. My old friends are now busy in their own lives making merri with thier new friends. Am I being jealous? But I feel happy knowing at least someone is happy for themselves...
Recently I have stopped studying at all.... I passed my exam with the bare minimum.. I sometimes feel why do we have to live... Is it necessary to work hard for a future when I don't even know where I am going ?? They say live your life to the fullest... But they don't say how... If you are reading this and understand even a little bit please tell me what do I do....
Thank you for Reading this and Sorry if I wasted your time!! | 1 |
sad hooman who needs money | just plain sad, I can't buy ipad :(((( | 1 |
Cant choose between 2 girls and even cant understand if they like me | It hurts me daily, it is like I like one girl, Just used to her, but then second 🤦♂️, my mind suck, i hate its indecision, they both are cute and kind and i wanna be with both..
also I dont know what to do with university and work(scary to find a work) I Just dont know and im tired of all these shit, ive a lot of friends, but dont wanna tell it to them and look weak, so i Just wanted to speak here, hope somebody understand me, or not, anyway haha I feel tired and dont know what to do next... | 2 |
Que hacen cuando sienten que todo en su vida anda mal? | null | 2 |
Unexplainable feeling | I have this we’re feeling that I haven’t been able to understand for a while now, theres something really appealing to me about being sad. Generally I’d say I feel happy, spend time with my gf and my friends and I’m pretty social guy so I have a loads of friends. I’m still in high school and I work a part time job so I’m busy and like I said I feel happy most of the time. The feeling I can’t explain is this attraction I have to feeling sad, there’s something about it that makes me feel at home and comfortable. When I’m going to bed I like to put on music and think about really low points in my life in a nostalgic way and I feel good. There’s something that I just like about feeling sadness and loneliness. I wondered if I previously suffered from depression and I just blocked it out I don’t know if that have an effect on it. It just feels like i have a weird relationship with sadness and I wanted to know if anyone shared this feeling or could understand how I feel. | 4 |
I need some advice | So me and my friends played Xbox every night and we always had so much fun but I got a job that required me to get up early on week days so I haven’t been on for a long time. When I come back they tell me about all these things like how they met this girl and now she joins and plays games with them everyday. They already created this group bond and she has a boyfriend so it’s not like they are doing it to simp for her but she laughs at all of their jokes and doesn’t even interact with me at all and I feel so left out because these are literally my best friends and it feels like she replaced me.
So even though I have to wake up early in the mornings I’m going to make sure I’m in theses parties and hope she warms up to me | 5 |
Here’s what happened with me today on snapchat | So i woke up in the morning and watching America’s lifestyle on Snapchat. I am an asian guy, I’m ugly af & I’m suffering from visual syndrome and auto-phobic anxiety. I don’t have any friends. So i added a guy and he i got his text Immediately after i got added at first i thought its a bot but he send me the snap telling my name. He asked me if i wanna play a game. I agreed and i got added by other 2 folks and they added me to a group chat with the boys and girls. They greeted me very very good and it felt so comforting i’ve never been greeted like this before they told me to wait til tonight and I was hyped & I agreed. I never got an invitation to play. I’ve waited all hours i just kept looking at my phone. I kept my smile on my face with joy whole day. I just kept waiting for them to text. and finally they all got online and i got that wide smile on my face and i asked them when we’re going to play they replied “tonight” and they asked me to join tonight and i replied “I’m going to sleep cause its about night” they all were shocked and group chat seemed quiet for few seconds and they asked me “where are you from” and i replied “I’m an asian” they shocked again and replied “are you going to take a flight or what?” And i replied “why would i do that?” They said “we are going outside of the house like for real” they thought I live around them and i was surprised cause i thought they’re inviting me to play online in their video chats for hours cause i was super excited to meet friends. They told me i disappointed them. But here i am now all alone just wanting to be left alone. I forgot my visual syndrome and anxiety attacks for few hours that I can’t tolerate from 19 years of my life. | 8 |
There are times when you just have to let go of the things that make you happy because after a while it will fade.....atleast that's what I think............ | null | 8 |
I don't know what to do | I'm having anxiety, pain in my stomach, stress and depression.
Next week I go to take my driving license exam for the 2nd time (I failed already once with a very easy mistake....) and so, I can't.... theres almost a week until I go and I'm already so stressed that I want to cry. I can't do this. I'm clumsy, my nervous are always attacking me and giving me constant pain in my stomach and my chest. Every exam is a lot of money and I'm not paying for it but my mom. She already wasted a lot of money for me to keep going forward, and my family is poor, she worked so hard for me to do this even tho I told her I'm not made for that. Still, I hate making her waste her efforts like this, I really try my best but for some reason I always fail. Will I ever do something useful? This hirts so much. I just, I-... The worst feeling is when you're told you failed and you don't know what your words are going to be when you arrive home. Totally desperating. I'm feeling like I'm going to die inside. | 8 |
They won’t let me post on abandonment thing. I don’t even understand Reddit honestly. I always kinda knew I had abandonment issues n a fear of shi but it’s now jus a lot.I want therapy but I have no money even when I do I jus have cash no credit card no social jus boom. I feel stuck sad. | null | 4 |
I get it it’s not all everyone else fault I have a part in it but who tf told these ppl to have kids if they were gonna abandon them mentally n one physically. I rlly wish they would’ve jus killed me instead. N I tried to forgive so many times but I’m hurt n sucking at life n nobody ever cares. | null | 3 |
I hate this app. I have family to talk to about my issues but all shi comes from my family n everyone tells me to let it go. I was delusion-ally happy for a minute n now I’m back sad n mad. I’m angry it’s unfair how ppl can mess my life up when I’m little n I have to deal wit it how tf is that right | null | 2 |
... | Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels bad about herself and whenever I see a pretty girl and younger than me (hits hard) I get very depressed, and I start wondering why I can't just be like that... Everytime my friends post pictures I fucking wanna sob my eyes out. Like why, my friends, younger, have better bodies & faces than me. Honestly idk but I wanna cry, I'm so tired of this sh*t. I can't get over it but hate myself more and more everyday. I wanna know why if my mother and grandmother were also beautiful when they were young, why I was always like this, so stupidly and meaninglessly ugly. Help me | 3 |
Dear co-workers | I'm really sad about the things I said. I hope you will forgive me. I'm posting this here because I don't know where to post this. | 9 |
Shes just playing with me | Im getting sick of it, shes just playing with my heart its been like this for a couple weeks, just really pissing me off, one day shes madly in love with me, the next day its like were strangers and we dont talk, then she come back a couple days later and does the same thing and i keep falling for it, thinking she might actually care for me, she just likes the attention. | 5 |
It hurts💔😔🥺 He's with another girl | It hurts knowing that he loves someone else. He doesn't just love someone else, he's actually in a relationship with that other girl. He told me that he doesn't love anyone else, just me, and he told me that I will always be his, and then I asked him "Is that a promise?", and he said yes, but then, he broke up with me, and now he's with another girl, so that means that he didn't keep his promise, he lied to me. It hurts seeing him with someone else. | 7 |
💔😭🥺 I feel sad. I miss him, I lost him, I love him. I got blocked, he probably fell in love with another girl and forgot about me. 😭 | I feel sad. I lost someone I care about, someone that's important to me. He blocked me and cut off contact with me, it seemed like he was trying to avoid me, and this breaks my heart, I wish he wouldn't block me and cut off contact with me. I wish that one day he will unblock me, and I really wish that things could go back to the way they were, I want to be a part of his life again, I want everything to be okay, I want him to be happy. If I ever did anything that made him upset, I didn't mean to make him upset, I just really missed him and I wanted to keep talking to him, I just didn't want to let go, I love him. I just want to know if he still loves me despite the fact that he blocked me. I've missed him soo much. It's heartbreaking knowing that you lost someone forever, and that you and that person don't talk anymore like you used to do, makes you wanna cry..It hurts to know that you'll never get to talk to or see a loved one ever again and that you probably lost them forever" 😔💔 #Nostalgia. My biggest wish is for him to come back to me one day, I miss him soo much, it's killing me, it's breaking my heart, I want to talk to him and be a part of his life like I used to, but I can't, I can't even text him, he'd block me if I'd text him. I hope he doesn't hate me, I hope he still loves me, and like I said, I didn't mean to make him upset if I did, I just really missed him and wanted to keep talking to him, I just couldn't let go, I love him soo much. But I guess I lost him now, and it's killing me, it's breaking my heart, I want him back, but I know I can't have him for now, it's making me sad. | 0 |
I’m done | I have nothing left . I’m worthless. I’m leaving this place | 6 |
I got rejected | I don't feel well about myself anymore | 4 |
I'm sorry. | I'm fucked I know.
And here I sit on the beach, alone, freezing to death, having a panic attack.
Why do I keep believing that I will be hqppy?? | 10 |
Hello | I know you don't know me but if you're reading this you're probably feeling like I do. I can't stop crying, it hurts... I know I am not the best person of this world but why. I try my best and I never do anything right. My failures, pain, sorrows and worries are consuming me. I am suffering, and i've been suffering all my life and why. Do I even deserve this? Why do I have to deal with so much pain everyday... i I cant understand I can't type this well I'm sorry its not easy to write with years on ny eyes... I don't know how many time I will keep holding this, I feel alone and there's no place for someone like me I just want the best for my family and I hope they'll be happy even when I'm not there, I I dont wanna see my mum crying :( I guess that's one of the reasons that still keep me "strong" but I am in a constant battle against myself everyday and my head is nowhere near a safe place, it's torture. I love you mom I want you to be happy and I know you'd be sad if I died but I don't know for how long my mind and body will keep holding this pain. I don't even have strenght to move everyday, I'm trying
Im sorry for all the beautiful human beings out there that are feeling something simmilar. I wish I could do anything to save you from that pain. Stay strong for me | 6 |
The Flame | I guess you're not ready
after all, it all happened so fast
And that's all right. It's just
you should know better
But that's ok, I'll see the tide come in
so as not to stare at the clock
and I'll wait for you to call back.
I'm not even sure you can, I won't lie
But if this somehow gets to you, please know that I'm still here
​
Call me, because I'm burning inside
The peace you wished that I would find just isn't here. | 7 |
Some advice | So I used to be an avid gamer who had a lot of friends and played all the new dlcs for gta but a while back my pc ran into a hard drive issue but after it happened I’ve been ghosting all my friends I played with and been to down emotionally to try and fix the issue so I can play again idk what to do | 4 |
I have "no personality" | So I've been working at my job for 3 months now or so and its my first job, and so far it's not been too bad, but I've been struggling with this feeling that everyone there is oblivious to me or I feel that they have no idea who I am, and there's been instances where I've been judged from coworkers even though they have no idea who I am. I'm lucky enough to be able to work this job with my cousin that I grew up with and just today he said to me "I feel like you have no personality" and that hit me hard. What am I supposed to say to that. And the more I reflect on it I almost feel he might be right. At parties or if I'm hanging out with friends I'm always the one that is tucked in the corner and I only open up to 1-2 of my friends and I feel like I'm the only one who knows myself if that makes sense. Like, no one really shares my interests and I always feel like I can't blend in and I feel like it all boils down to not being interesting. And I know that sounds kind of odd but I've only ever had 1-2 good friends but I've never been unpopular and idk I just hate the fact that no one understands me If that makes sense.
I hate to sound conceited or selfish but I needed to get that off my chest. | 6 |
One of those nights. | The shell of my past remains
Nobody notices, but I am not the same
Hollow and empty, bleak everything became
Trust/compassion/ love, not for meant for thee
Distraught/anxiety/ self hatred are key
Lens of Loneliness filled the memories of days
Thoughts of disgust slowly eat
Everything that use to be
Dreams or terrors, depends on the spectator
Not something i would recommend
Escaping hell for merely moments
Heavy hearts, old faces, familiar warmth
Sudden shock, gut punch, cuffs back on suffication kills
Reality ensues
What have i become, nothing
Always was
Love to some is for everyone
Love to others, is particular
Love to the few, our souls cannot heal when broken
Love to me,
I live for the serenity death brings | 3 |
Hey | Haters gonna hate hate hate shake it off y’all lol Taylor swift song 🎶 | 2 |
Offer for sad butler | I want a big sad butt for my butler ;) | 1 |
Hate myself. | Im awful, DISGUSTING, ugly. It's hard to look at my assface every fucking day. And wondering how there's possible for someone so ugly to being alive. If that wasn't enough I'm useless, and my mum feeding me and knowing she has a garbage of daughter that haven't worked and probably won't soon. I ony she aborted me when she had a chance to do it. I just wanna be a decent girl. I don't ask to be a model but to be thin, to have a normal face... To have any talent... But being ugly and useless... Jesuschrist. If you take me with you, make me be a beautiful girl in next life. | 7 |
A song I think of when I need someone | I'm with you by avril lavigne . . This shit hits so different when you're sad and alone | 9 |
Ignore | I'm tired of everything. My race, my being, my face, body , life, personality. Fake friends "" (even tho I have like 3 or so but they don't care a shit about how Im feeling) I just can't stand it anymore. Days are just days more, with problems surrounding and struggling with my mental illness. I wanna end my life. How many paim will I have to hold???? and for how long... | 5 |
am I toxic | I was told by multiple people that I'm considered 'toxic' for always being sad and anxious and that I'm mentally draining to deal with. Am I being toxic for constantly commenting that I'm sad or anxious, I don't do it to feel bad or anything I just-whenever I feel a panic attack coming or if I feel like I'm about to cry I tell them so it's not unexpected but recently it's getting more and more frequently and I'm worried I'll become toxic for it. | 4 |
I don't want | I don't want to be one of these horrible animals.
But I can't change it.
I don't want to work 40 hours a week to eat.
But I'm used to this society now.
I don't want to die.
But nothing stops the pain.
I don't want to be alone again.
But I still feel alone anyway.
I don't want to keep loving her.
But, even if it breaks me, it keeps me alive.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to make music.
I just want to be happy... .
So what, now? I can't be happy... .
So what, now? | 7 |
Sometimes you just have to let em go :( | null | 5 |
i am an italian drug addict (already posted) | i posted this in r/Drugs, i am an italian drug addict, i will respond to any question u want personal or not | 3 |
im fckng alone, and everything just reminds me of how alone i am | I don't even know why but lately, i feel so lonely. Usually, the feeling of loneliness just comes for a bit then disappears, but now, it's just getting heavier.
I guess it is because i crave genuine love and affection from someone. I have no one, and even if i had someone, i am definitely not the favorite.
I tried distracting my loneliness with Youtube, facebook, playing games, etc., but everything just reminds me of how sad and lonely my life is. My breaking point was a video in youtube about a guy falling for his beloved gay friend. Like, fck. That hit me hard. I can't even express how upset and envious i become when i saw the preview of that video. I just cant help myself but tear up over the overwhelming emotions that i am enduring.
I have done sooo much for everyone even to the point where i have to sacrifice certain things just to make them feel better. But look at me now. I have no one. Im emotionally unstable. I crave affection so much that even a small act of kindness makes me develop intense emotions towards someone. Why am i like this. What did i do to deserve all of this..
idk. i just want to get this out of my chest. | 10 |
So um yeah | I Feel absolutely unhappy and sad and my only source of happiness is in my shitty memes and my xbox. I have a hard time explaining to my therapist why I feel sad and I feel lonely and I once found my mom's gun and thought about using it on myself. I've been failing since 3rd grade and I don't think I can be redeemed. I want to commit suicide but I'm too scared to die and I wanna be here for my family. Being 14 sucks.
Any advice? | 6 |
Sad to a whole new level | Caught feelings for someone who's been cheated on multiple times. She said she just can't go through any of that again considering how important college is right now. I get that, but I can't move on. And she's just always so busy and not like it used to be. She used to be so open with me and so close, she did things to me that made it seem it was going to be something. She made me happy like no one else. I don't know how to explain but I know she wanted to me before realizing that she's scared of what happened before.
Basically I'm just so lost, I hate myself for it but I'm so sad. Cry myself to sleep every night for the past month or so. I talk to myself. I type in my phone but I don't send the message. I want my happiness back. I want her | 4 |
I need help | I am 14 years old and in 8th grade. I am failing classes because of being online and my teachers and parents do absoltely nothing to help me. my algebra teacher even specifically said "you are failing and at risk of not passing math. do not come to me for help." and everyone just expects me to be ok. no one understands what i am going through and i dont want to lose my friends if i have to repeat 8th grade. | 5 |
Worst dilemma or feeling | I am 20 male from India. I have told all of my friends. About my plan to study abroad. But due to this covid situation. I need to rethink my decision. And may be it may not be possible. I m feeling very nostalgic about how they will treat me if they know I can't achieve it. They will laughs around | 7 |
Happy? Sad?? | Have you ever thought if i am always happy, I won't get to be sad? Like you'd miss the sadness? Or am I losing my mind?? | 1 |
What do you call these type of characters, and why does it inflict such sadness in me? | https://youtu.be/l3m7IaW5Og0
Hi guys,
Recently, a thought keeps popping up in my head about characters similar to Curious George here. Where they're cute, and don't talk in any language known to human (just speak in I guess "cute noises"). Sometimes, unlike this scene, it's not that I see them suffering, but rather just living life, and struggling to survive on very little just to serve them and their family.
I know it sounds crazy, b/c even idk how well to describe it. But I know whenever I get this feeling, I just feel sadness. Maybe it's b/c it's the human instinct of survival? Has anyone ever gotten these types of thoughts before? This pandemic has been getting my mind going deep into thoughts like these and I really don't like it. | 6 |
A poem to show what people with depression feel like | You see the sun, I see rain
You're full of joy, I only feel pain
I constantly lose, you always gain
You sleep snuggly and tight, I cry all night
You have fun, I have none
You smile with glee, I cry and cover my eyes with my knees
There is no happiness, you disagree
You say it spreads like a seed to a tree
You think life is good, I do not
Suicide is my only thought.... | 10 |
A little something | Parents: All cuz of that phone...
Teachers: You need to do better!
Friends: You're a loser!
Managers: You can't do your job right!
Judges in competitions: This isn't the path you should take...
Music, pillows, pets: Hey, we get you, we love you more than anything in the world! | 5 |
Feeling cornered... | Hello, first I want to send love and support to anyone passing by the subreddit. Life is hard sometimes but there is happiness after the struggle. You’re not alone.
About my story, I was in love with a guy for 5 years until he broke up with me in the worst way ever. It brokes me so hard, I struggled to recover. He cames back years later and after pushing him away, I cannot help my attraction to him despite he did. My family and friends were overly protective when he came back and tried to reason me, saying he’s bad etc.. things I already know but I can’t stop loving him. I started to lie to anyone, sayin that I don’t see him but in fact I keep having a relationship with him. No one knows because it’s so much pressure to tell the true. They are really upset with him and will be with me if I tell anyone I continue the story. In the other hand, I can’t love him the same way I did before the breackup. I don’t want to suffer once again so I push him away when he tries to connect more than I let him. He wants to see me more. He wants us to built a future together but I can’t trust him on that.
I told him that Its difficult for me and there is nothing he can do about it so I guess I have to decide by myself what’s the next step.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask to me relative. I’m alone in this hard decision.
If someone knows a way to find out if he’s sincere or not, I’d glad to read it but maybe I’m just hiding myself the inevitable truth.
Thank you for reading me. | 8 |
The death of a father | I m a man of 11 kids and a some what of a good dad I lost my only son on 03 12 2019 he was 15 yrs old. I find myself not caring about anything before his death i feared no man I m 5 ft 3 in 315 when I say I have no fear I mean this now all I do is sit and drink with the upmost hope I will die I can't live with the pain of the loss of my son enjoy your kids hold them love the tell them you love them my son was the best part of me now there's nothing left Jr I m sorry but I cant do this anymore the pain is to much I feel like drugs and drinking has lead me to the end. I love you to my kids and my mom this is the shut down of a man at his end | 5 |
Follow my blog ? | [please](https://broken-pieces-of-soul.tumblr.com/) | 3 |
After 10 years, I finally were able to cry again. | I have always struggled to express my heavy emotions.
if there is one advice that i kept hearing, it is that i just have to "cry it all out".
I have always ignored this because i can't really cry. I don't know why.
Today was so heavy. Everything is just piling up. Things are getting more and more overwhelming. Things are getting heavier.
Then out of nowhere, youtube recommended this one song. I started listening to it. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and i started to get emotional.
i got scared, but i want to be scared. Things are getting heavier, yet lighter at the same time. I wanted to cry. Then finally, my eyes turned teary. I started sniffing. I went to get something to wipe on and started rubbing my eyes.
It only lasted for a short while before i snapped myself out because i still need to do a lot of things.
I tried it again earlier, but it doesnt work anymore. Idk why. I want to cry more, but for some reason, i can't.
It may have only lasted for a short time, but damn. It felt good. | 6 |
Can someone convince me why it is okay to not be the favorite of the ppl that u love.. | I may sound like i'm being selfish, but doesnt it hurt u when u were talking to a friend that is so special to u, only to figure out that you're basically the last pick? Like, out of all of the people that he talks to, u are the least favorite. Yes, we still chat from time to time, but the fact that i am the last choice is just deeply hurtful for me :(
is there a positive side to this? is there a positive angle that i can look to feel less hurt? if u know one, pls let me know. | 6 |
Despair extraordinaire. | I am now totally convinced I am in “hell” I don’t believe I survived my suicide attempt in 1987. Everything that has taken place from that moment has been either ‘almost’ satisfying but not quite or more recently (last 20 years) everything that I want/like or is good for my mental wellbeing is just permanently and teasingly out of reach. I receive no respect from anybody I mean anyone. I make every effort to ensure all those around me are happy and satisfied and respected. Yet it’s like I’m invisible when it’s my turn. No one has time for me oh wait unless there is money involved. Then all of a sudden I’m important until they get what they want then I am fucking invisible again.
OMG case in point I have new neighbours above that make noise 24/7. A child that screams for hours at a time often at 3 and 4 AM. And when you complain they get fucking mad and actually say they “have a right to live how they want. “ Maybe they should stop abusing the child.
I make every concession to those around me to make everyone happy. No one does that for me. If I ever did want something I would have to fight for it and that’s not me. I would not enjoy whatever it is. The person I just compromised for should reciprocate because it’s the right thing not because I had to “ring a fucking bell” to draw attention to what should have been natural...no, fuck natural try simply nice...the right fucking thing to do. But I don’t make waves so I never get what I want. But everyone around me does I make damn sure of it. No fucking respect. I am the one who is there for everyone else always...no one is there for me. Being nice is not a fucking weakness, it’s true normal it’s what we are supposed to be. Yet everyday I get fucked over. From my coffee not being made correctly even though it’s a common request all the way to simple human compassion. I GET NO RESPECT.
Women... oh boy...they all want to be my “friend”...I am and have been nothing more than a wallet and shoulder to cry on and free therapy (never the other way around). Not once can I say that as an adult I had a real (2 way) relationship I was used by all. Each an emasculating selfish shrew worse than the last. Each making my life hell in their own way. One whoring around with everyone I mean EVERYone. I was the last to find out I was the biggest cuckold joke in the Provence. The other flat out cutting me off. That’s just the big 2. It matters not how nice or respectful, decent, patient, honourable, compassionate, sensitive, agreeable, gentile I am. Every woman I have met wants to be treated equally and with respect and yet are incapable of reciprocation. Of course I only mean women I have been romantically involved with or pursued. I know men (multiple) who have terrible reputations that all (including these women) know about for being an absolute douche having no respect, cheating or even beating them but are never short of a date and by date also means 🍆💦 . Sometimes the bathroom or behind the bins at Bar A or her car oh yea even one time under the table at dinner she actually said “whoops I dropped my knife”🤦. These were all different women.One has been known to juggle multiple women at the same time up to 5. Yet as we already established I’m a decent human being and as such I have not even been on a single date in more than 10 years. Another reason I do not trust people. So you will excuse me if the next time a woman says to me “you are such a nice guy don’t change” or “ you are a great you just have to be patient” I vomit (said to me by multiple women who dallied with the scumbag and others over my life). It is devastatingly disheartening that after all my efforts nada zip zilch. And I consider myself a feminist. Each and every time I reach out I fail. I do feel I am unbelievably tough as I haven’t done it (suicide) again. However I have reached saturation point.
1 year is is too long to live without love let alone 50. I would not wish this on even the most evil of person. This is the true definition of TORMENT and why I believe I’m in “hell”. | 6 |
numb. | honestly the worst feeling is being so sad and feeling so many emotions towards yourself it’s just numbing. bet yet again here we are numb so | 2 |
I just confessed my feelings to an online friend, and GOSH I wish I didn't. | I actually do not expect him to say anything in return, but i still went for it.
Ofc, he did not feel the same way, and that's okay tbh, but what's not okay is that he does not even remember anything.
He did not remember that night where everything started,
He did not remember the poem that i wrote,
I doubt that he even understood anything that i said when i confessed my feelings to him.
It just hurts me a lot to know that he did not value ANYTHING that was special to me.
i don't even know if i can maintain our friendship anymore. It seems like im just a virtual friend that he can talk to whenever he's bored.
I know you're probably not reading this, but if u are, i just wanna say that i am thankful that we became friends, i am thankful for all of the smiles and giggles that u gave me, but don't be surprised if one day i stopped talking to u. I have invested so much care for our convos already, and im starting to believe that none of those matter to u.
last night broke me.
i'll be able to fix myself eventually,
but i just want u to know
that i loved u.
too bad u didnt feel the same way..
goodbye. | 13 |
Struggling | It doesn't matter how many times I try my best, I try to help, I try to be a good person. Always I end up messing any situation, looking ridiculous, pathetic, or worse, the bad of the story, always being yelled and a huge failure. It's been since, around 2015 that I haven't selfharmed. Trust me, I've been wanting to do it every fucking day, I promised someone important I wouldn't do it but as a failure I am neither I can keep promises so as long as I can I will restart it. Nobody understand it, but it keeps me calm, it releases my mental pain, my tears... it's a sad way of keeping me away from being so painfully. But people think I'm crazy. Like if I was proud, and never meant to show anyone my scars of wounds, I always covered them without success at the end... It hurts that I just can't express what I'm feeling through words, but everything is a dead end when it comes to me. I only think of harming and killing myself but I honestly I just don't know why I haven't attempted it before. | 6 |
please be kind and gentle no matter what happens. | i am usually the one who comforts broken people. I draw them doodles, have convos with them, check if they're doing okay if i have the time.
Im so busy comforting them that they often forget that i, too, am broken.
its not that i want ppl to comfort me back. I just want ppl to acknowledge that i am also having a hard time coping with my own problems.
So please remember that everyone is a little broken. Be kind to everyone. i hope u all know that. | 19 |
Rip Slutty Sonny😔💔 | https://youtu.be/6bBBBa3iKSA
"It seems I’ve always been misunderstood by everyone but fuck it, I’m used to it, I’ll be alright." | 3 |
I don't understand.. | How do people just choose to be positive? I've tried to and it just doesn't work.. Life, and problems just kick you back down over and over and over again, then you die. So what's the point? How does anyone see a point in anything if it won't matter...?
How do you wake up everyday and not feel insignificant..? How do you talk about your problems and not think that no one cares?
How can you truly be happy? | 9 |
School bullies | A lot of time after the collage I finally decide to front my bullies , I really think than I was ready after all the therapy but I’m not
A part of me really want to forgive to have a normal life but I’m still feeling anger and sadness when I see them | 2 |
Is humanity inherently evil |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/m3su5q) | 9 |
.. | I need someone, I have no one... | 3 |
Long distance | long distance
I am currently in my second semester of freshman year, and in a long distance relationship. I have been dating this girl since our junior year of high school and go to two separate colleges. She goes to the big state school, while I am at a university 20 minutes from our home town. Starting off the year being apart, and having to deal with covid was quite difficult. When the pandemic started and schools were closed, I was lucky enough to be able to spend almost everyday together. This happened since or parents didn’t really care about us going out, and being able to spend so much time together. When the school year started I stayed at home while she moved to college. I was an emotional wreck as all my friends, and her had left for college. I was all alone and felt sad, and missed seeing everyone. While this was happening my girlfriend moved into her dorm, and was having the greatest time of her life. All of this while barley talking to me. I was so upset that we almost broke up because of it. We patched that out and the rest of the semester went by as I would come and visit on the weekends sometimes, but would change if one of us got covid. She would be placed in isolation dorms where she could leave for 14 days. I would have to isolate at my house and not be able to leave the same amount of time on different occasions. The winter break came and she was home for the semester. We were spending time together and it was great. One thing that i realized during this time is that she hangs around with a lot of male friends. They go to fraternity houses while her roommates (who are typical college girls) meaning they spread their legs often..... This worries me as these people rub off on her and make her change. She hides her phone from me, never post me now, and post pictures with other guys. When i go and visit her now everything is about her friends and what they want to do. She completely disregards me and doesn’t want to every find alone time meaning us 2 just hangout. She also has a “personal defection disorder” that she always tells me when i try to hold her hand in public or even a hug around my friends that we’ve hung out with since 8th grade. This pushes me to strong sadness and I try to do everything I was ever taught about how to treat a women. I give her my whole world and yet I still see myself always being put down, or being the first to say i’m sorry. She does make me happy when we’re together and I feel that I just keep remembering what it was like before college and how great it was. Now it’s tough with classes at different times, two completely different cities, she lives with friends, and i still live at home. My weekends consist of video games, homework, and work. Her thursday through sunday is bars, frats, homework, and mid-day mimosas. Prior to college she was a 4.6 gpa gymnast that would never vape. I have just lost all words to express myself to her and sudden find myself at a roadblock wondering if I and wasting my time, or needing to just focus on myself. Times are tough during covid, but nothing can beat a long distance relationship while in a pandemic. | 5 |
Grandpa’s death | This horrifying and sad experience my parents are telling me about grandpas death once I understood seeing my grandpa get sick in 2006 and not being able to see me born in 2007 i feel so bad for him.😞 theres always pictures in my home that help me remind of how much of a wonderful grandpa he was. | 9 |
Venting. Ignore. | I only wanna hurt myself. I'm fucking old and yet after so many time I can't stand this pain. I hate my feelings, I hate myself. I'm every fucking day down on my own thoughts, getting depressed, not only that but I have to deal with some people who fake they care about me when they don't fucking care. Why does everybody only lie to me? I wanna be fucking dead. I'd fucking kill myself if my mum wasn't here, I don't wanna see her crying. Several times per day I think how I'd like to take my life away... But the image of my mum crying comes to my mind and I can't... Leave her alone | 6 |
My ferret just died | So I’m just playing a game having a good time my dad comes up to says “something happened”to me my mom is standing to my left I look and stand up and she tells me to look in the ferret bed and I see my ferrets limph dead body and I just stare at it for 30 seconds just sitting there thinking how I hurt him it the past and it makes me so sad what do I do :( . | 3 |
People on the Internet Are So Hateful and Unforgiving | Ok, so I'm pretty new to the internet. I don't have very many friends in real life, but I get along with most people just fine. I joined a discord server for a while. I had fun on it, even though everyone disliked me. Then, one day, I made a horrible, horrible mistake. I pinged everyone on the server using "@everyone!" Shocking, I know. Listen, I know most Discorders consider using "@everyone" a mortal sin, but oh my goodness, everyone turned on me after that. I apologized. But then, someone accused me of being underage. He kept asking for my age, a question I refused to answer in front of everyone else on the server. Then, I was promptly banned from the server. I was never mean to anyone. Admittedly, maybe I was a bit annoying, but I immediately apologized afterwards. I immediately tried to appeal my ban, but then I was accused of being "dramatic" and "self-deprecating" myself to try to win the sympathy of others. I am hated on the internet. I know I'm not exactly innocent in this situation, but seriously? At this point, I've given up on social media. If nobody likes me in real life, why would they like me online? Especially given how unforgiving, rude, and angry people on the internet can be. I wanted to go on the internet to have fun, not to increase my ever-growing list of people who hate me (which is very long). (btw I'm fifteen, so not underage for discord) | 15 |
Friends | Do you have a friend who used to chat with you so much but as time goes by, he/she won't talk that much or he/she stopped talking to you for no reason and just ignores the messages you sent?
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/m1myii) | 2 |
I know... | I know it’s okay to be sad, but it also really just sucks | 7 |
Sadness post birthday | I know it sounds really strange but I star seeing this three years ago , every year I feel so sad the day of my birthday
Anyone ?? | 5 |
Depression is ruining my life |
I’m 18 soon and I hate myself. I was diagnosed with depression in July and I’m just worthless. All my mates are going out and having fun and going to university and Im going anywhere in my life. I feel like I’ve wasted my youth away not doing anything whilst everyone else is living it till the fullest. I can’t attract women, I’ve been told that I’m attractive by quite a lot of girls but I just can’t seem to attract them and I don’t know what it is. The past just haunts the **** out of me and I feel I have nothing to live for and I contemplate suicide a lot. I’m a lazy cowardly stupid human being who’s done nothing with their life Thank You | 2 |
Should I kill myself :/ | I don’t really know what I expect people to say but I just don’t know where to turn. I go to the internet and everything says I shouldn’t do it but I just feel like they won’t give me the right answer anyway. I feel like the world is crumbling around me and I can’t even talk to people anymore. I finally cried tonight and let it out to my boyfriend, but he thought I was breaking up with him.. I feel bad for expecting him to know what to do and blaming him when he doesn’t. So for now I just keep it to myself. I can’t hurt him just because I’m hurting. I have no one. I feel stuck, like I’m drowning. I’m so exhausted.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/lws58m) | 2 |
Lonely (TW) | I'm dating someone and yet I feel so lonely, perhaps that's because I havent seen them in a few days but I have school tomorrow and I've just been thinking, If I die or hurt myself I wont have to go. I wont have to suffer having to make banter or conversations with people I barely know and I wont have to work my ass off half the day without anyone to help me for no reason, I dont plan on living long so I dont even bother with the work. Perhaps that's an issue but it isnt one I'm worried abt or will be worried abt anytime soon. I stay up all night thinking abt things like this and what do I get in return, dark circles under my eyes, tears down my face, blood on my scissors, and anxiety. This life sucks and I want, no I need it to end soon or I might go over the bend if I havent already.- C.T | 2 |
not That sad but still sad | I was playing among us like one does and someone named A H dragon joins and they were the best and his friend sub joins and hes amazing to \*btw I am 9\* and dragon asks my phone number and I had lost my phone since 2020 and have been using this chrome book and before I could ask them instead they left and now I will most likely never see them again my among us name is CartoonCat and I have a brown adventureing suit or whatev and a face mask with a mini crewmate and I pick the darkest color I can now A H dragon is usally white with bat ears and sub is lime with a dum post it note | 3 |
It hurts like hell 😭 | Today I recorded a song thinking about her...the lyrics say :
"Come, come back. That I've been waiting for you since I was born, my life for the moment I met you, and the love I kept, I kept for you."
And that's all I wanted, for her to come back to me. But every day that passes I feel that she doesn't even remember my existence anymore, and look... I'll tell you, it hurts like hell! | 4 |
Loneliness ☹️ | It's really bad you find things that remind you of someone, but can't share with the person, because you don't talk to each other anymore. What a horrible feeling! I miss her so much... 😔💔 | 7 |
Testing an idea to deal with sadness better | I recently suffered a series of great losses in life, back to back. I separated from my wife, said goodbye to my dog, lost my job, lost my grandma and learned about my brother's marital crisis - all within 2 weeks. I felt grief like never before. I am told it gets better. But it gets better faster when shared with someone else.
If anyone reading this needs help or someone to talk to anonymously, then I created this page: [https://www.facebook.com/theemotionalvent](https://www.facebook.com/theemotionalvent)
I am here. Just drop a message. Tell me your story, and I'll tell you mine. Anonymous. Free. PS: With this page, I am testing whether a personal p2p grief sharing session actually helps recover, and whether that model can be scaled to create a meaningful product for all people suffering? | 3 |
best coping | honestly music is just the best way to escape life I could sit and listen to music for hours and feel free of all my problems | 7 |
I forgot and missed my first reddit cake day :( | null | 1 |
My opinion: If you decide to have an affair... | Try to handle your affair partner(s) with care. For some, they are trying to learn to trust again. You can do more damage and they might not be able to recover from it. I know humans are selfish by nature, but if you can't be kind, honest, and show compassion to the person you are being intimate with, maybe look to have relations with someone that isn't recovering from a broken heart. Life is hard. Try not to make others lives harder. Wishing you all kindness and understanding ❤ | 12 |
Great end to the day... getting dumped... | null | 1 |
Crying out of the blue | Have you ever cried while you're just doing your daily routine out of the blue for no reason and you can't explain why. It happens when you're alone by yourself. I am like that. When my family comes in my room to check on me, I quickly wipe my tears as if nothing's going on. I don't have anyone to talk to cause I don't know why I'm like this in the first place and I won't be able to express it to anyone. I'm afraid they might think that I'm just mentally unstable. Sometimes it hurts so much that I just stare at myself in the mirror, pity myself because no one knows this side of me, no one cheers me up so I do it myself. I talk to myself in the mirror trying to comfort myself?! And then it makes me pity myself even more. Can somebody explain why I'm like this. Please tell me I'm not mental. | 9 |
I'm the train conductor | The greatest imposter the world has never seen. But the scariest part is that im ignorant of that until dark falls each night. On the surface I appear distracted but that's only because I do it so often that others buy it from time to time, but I buy it almost every second, until it wears off. Which it always does, every morning and night, never in the afternoon. It wears off almost always slowly, yet it's always abrupt at the same time... I'm blinded by my own hands. Hands that are seemingly crafty yet powerless to catch me from my own inevitable downfall.
I'm on a track now, the fatal train, that disguised itself as a solution, is headed towards my way. Reluctantly, I run away but it's pointless because I'm still on the tracks, I could step left or right but my own hands have already blinded me. The train conductor sees me too. I know this because I'm the train conductor. | 5 |
Just want to speak out | I was sad my whole life. Since primary school to the end of middle school I've been bullied, for almost 9 years, if to be more accurate. First years of school I was really enjoying it, even if I had a lot of pressure from my parents(beaten for poor grades like 7 out of 10, even if i was the 2nd in the class by grades with an average of 9.40 out of 10 by the end of years, I'm not born in a English-speaking country) and classmates that were beating the shit out of me in groups, as they couldn't win a 1vs1 fight, and simple bullying. I couldn't change school, it was the nearest and had no possibility to change it. The teachers couldn't stop bullying and the parents of those children wouldn't believe that their children are pure hyenas.After time I became indifferent to bullying . I had no real friends, they betrayed me for the sake of their own social life, and I can't really complain about anything, I do not care anymore. It was the trivial "the loser's friend is a loser".
Even before attending primary school I loved to surf the Internet and talk to a lot of people with same interests. Internet became as some refuge from routine life that was hell for me. I became good at games, got a lot of words from books and movies that filled my vocabulary.
I couldn't really find a girl, I thought that the problem, maybe, is in my face, body(I was searching only in my school, because I wasn't really quiting my house) but it seems that not. When I attended to college a lot of girls seemed to be interested in me, maybe because I was doing a lot of exercises at home (I had and have a passive lifestyle, but doing physical exercises, and I have some weights, also I have a beard), they would try to ask if I have a girlfriend, laugh at my jokes, look at me during classes then to look away if i noticed. Some clean signals of interest, like some cliché from movies, it was really awkward sometimes, as I was thinking they're making fun of me. Guys were calling me to hang out to, but I was anxious about it, so I still don't have new friends or a girlfriend. This loneliness became a part of my life at some point, if I was sad it seemed like I'm alive. To be not sad was worse, than being sad. Anyway, I want to try make some friends and get a girlfriend finally, 2 years in the college life, and just now I'm doing it.
I am kinda getting sick of loneliness, I'm hearing so many stories about how happy people are and how good they feel.
So I'll start my attempt from tomorrow, 8th of February, when we'll get to college. I'm not really used to talk IRL, but I'll try.
My story isn't really done to make someone feel pity for me, even if it looks like I'm nagging, even if I tried not to write about suicidal thoughts and other things that happened.
I've done this account recently so nobody will recognise me.
I'll keep you in touch about how the progress is going, I can answer to your questions too, I think.
Wish you to fulfill your desires and to make them true. | 7 |
Everything was stolen by Evgeny Mozgunov. How can I move on? | When I was working as an unpaid undergrad research assistant at Caltech in 2016, a graduate student called Evgeny Mozgunov recruited me to work for him. I was taking the advance QM course and other courses. He asked me to propose some new master equations and do some computer simulations. I worked for two semesters and I handed all my results to him, before I graduate in the summer. Up to that time, he participated very little in the research.
About a year after I graduated, I learnt that he published all my results as his own on 13 Nov 2016 on the website [https://arxiv.org/abs/1611.04188](https://arxiv.org/abs/1611.04188)
"Local master equation for small temperatures", Evgeny Mozgunov
He used this paper to get his postdoc job. At first, I was angry that he did not tell me back then he published my results, and not even acknowledging me at all.
I confronted him about this. I then saw he updated the paper and changed some math details to hide the fact that he stole my equations and simulations. On the pdf, the date of writing becomes August 2018, even though the first original version where the results were all mine, was posted on 13 Nov 2016.
How can I move on? I suffer from insomnia till now even though I am no longer in academia anymore. The fact that he stole all my research, published it completely as his own, and got a job using my reserach still disgusts me. | 3 |
Missing the pets post breakup | Fuck is it hard is it to lose your rights to see your pets after a break-up. I spent a lot of time with those pets. A cat who greeted me at the door, loved catnip, liked to cuddle next to you, not on you, and would walk hard on you if you forgot to feed her at her usual time. A dog who always wanted to play, loved belly rubs and eye rubs, could run for hours, and would comfort you when you were sad... I try not to think of it because it makes me cry. Picked up the last of my things today and couldn't go inside because of covid. Its a hard pill to swallow that I won't see them again... I miss them so much. | 4 |
Im feeling bad and idk what to do | Im sorry if im doing this post in the wrong place.
(15yo) For all my life ive been feeling bad, recently i tried to get some help or at least see if something can work for me but i cant find anything. I really doubt that there are psychiatrists or psychologists where i live (as far as i know there are not), i have no friends and my family doesnt take me seriously when I talk about these issues or when I say that I feel sad.
it is very difficult for me to have a conversation with someone and interact with people. At school they always make fun of me and reject me. I dont think I have problems with my family but they usually speak badly of me to humiliate me and then say that they "love me" (sometimes they include me in their problems without me having done anything). Im trying to find something that i like and i can distract myself but seems like i lost interest in anything . In my country (Venezuela) its quite difficult to survive and we dont have what it takes to leave, the situation is very hopeless and I feel that I have no future.
I also thought on suicide cause im just tired to feel lonely and hopeless but I dont have the courage to do it.
if someone knows a forum or w/e where i can get help pls let me know. | 5 |
PURGE MY SINNNNNNNNNNNNNN | null | 0 |
[inserts picture of sadness from inside out] | null | 1 |
I Just Want Peace | Never before in my life have I heard the word sadness. My life was one happy life, but the last 2 months of my life killed me entirely. I don't want to go into detail what happened, but it was just one problem after another... I just want peace, just for a bit. The worst part is my family would not understand my problems, I go to some online games so I could talk to people, but I can't do that forever... My grades are going down, and I don't know what to do. I always have this feeling of sadness, unable to do what I usually do. I just want it to end, I just want it to end... >\~< | 5 |
Alot of ppl are going through hard times | This website made me just laugh and forget about whats happening you should do this [Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up (Video) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) | 3 |
A ray of sunshine to stop the sadness | Hey everybody. I found an app that is focused on actually helping people, and I feel like I need to share it. They don’t save your info or charge a fee or anything and it’s totally anonymous. It helps you find someone who has suffered from the same things as you. Whether it’s depression, unemployment, divorce, or whatever, it helps you find someone who has been there (or is currently there). We are not alone, and this app helps us support each other.
Even if you feel like you don’t need the app, please upvote this post so others can find someone to talk to. We all need a friend.
Here’s a link to the app if you think it’ll help: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hear-4-you/id1539679878 | 4 |
It pains and saddens me that no matter how much I hold onto things, no matter how much I save, somehow, someway, It will be lost to the throes of time. That my mind is the only place these things exist, and my mind is a fickle thing, not caring in the slightest what I forget or remember. | Impossibly it is so that I am unable to bring myself to memorize hundreds of items, lest when they become physically destroyed, I put my mind to recall them and a few digits elude me and elude me they forever will so. knawing at the tippest of my tongues at and the far edges and reaches of my subconsciousness. For I will not harden myself to put all of these to my mind, or for the rest of my days I be tortured by my previous self, hating him, instead of loving him. So I will not attempt this spiral into madness that many before me have undoubtedly gone down.
But I will let them fall, and fall they will so, slipping through my fingers like water through a strainer, being forgotten and only existing in the void that is the time of past. For I will gain assurance that at one point in time they existed and that I had known of them once, for in my soul they will exist always. Only being accessible when I draw my last breath and enter eternal sleep. Dying once when my heart stops, and again when someone forgets me, but in my afterlife, I will exist for all eternity outside of time itself, away from the throes of everything with a beating heart. \\Remembering everything my soul had forgotten, what my physical memory had deemed of little importance. Here I will be, away from the throes of everything with a beating heart. Eternal peace and joy with the creator, And in this physical realm, my time on earth, just the assurance of this, is enough for me. | 10 |
I can’t do this anymore | I don’t know what is going on lately it feels the same thing is happening every day I don’t feel like myself I don’t get texts unless I text first, I come off as strong and not emotional but in private I can’t help but balling my eyes out daily I want to open up to people but I don’t know how to and if I did would they even care? I used to be strong emotionally but so much stuff is going on in my life that I mentally can’t anymore everyone that I know made friends with me because I was mentally strong and funny so I feel like their opinion on me would change if I told them what I was going through and my feelings. I just want to be loved and I feel like I can’t show my real emotion to anyone without them running off. I want to find a girl who cares for me as much as I care for her I care way too much to the point that I take absolutely no risks in any relationship and I’m done with it it is how both my relationships have ended and I don’t know how people build up this confidence that I struggle to get. I just want people to love me for me but how can they do that if they don’t even know the real me. I’m snapping this one girl right now and she is so pretty and way out of league may I add she is hardly ever on snap tho I usually only get a snap from her in the morning I know she is not on it after that because her snap map shows me she was last seen however long ago. She is the only thing making me happy at the moment we smile the little amount we do snap I have basically never talked to her and if I can’t open up to my best friend on how I feel, how am I supposed to do it for a girl I never talk to I really like her and I have a feeling it is mutual but at the same time what if it is not? What would that do to me? People would look at me differently. We both play basketball and we are both some what of introverts, we both have only a few people we actually talk to but even then we both don’t open up to anyone. Which for a guy seems to be more common than a girl. So I have no hope of taking a hint from her with us not talking I feel like we could be great together if we started dating but who knows if she is even interested you can only get so much from a snap of her smiling. | 6 |
I have finally written something that gets close to expressing how I feel. | Broken.
Utterly broken, lost, and alone, even when I have people around me.
Confused.
Sad.
Angry.
Frustrated.
I feel as though someone has taken a hammer to my soul and has, very slowly over the years, been taking little shards of me and putting them in all the wrong places. I can feel each stabbing, piercing piece, but I can never seem to find and piece it all back together properly.
But oh, have I tried.
I know who wields the hammer. Even after death he still, somehow, is stealing myself from me.
Others have tried to help me rearrange my new fucked up mosaic of a spirit.. but either they were too broken themselves, I gave up and or hurt them, or they were liars whom only made things worse.
I have heard so many people say “You’re just bruised, you’re too strong! You can never be broken.”
How I hoped that was true. I lived by that for a long time, but that belief has slowly been taken from me as well.
I haven’t even cried, REALLY cried, in years. I don’t have the capacity to anymore. The crying makes my emotional and, subsequent physical pain, that much harder to bear.
It’s already particularly unbearable.
Have you ever felt emotional pain so deeply, so integrated into you, that it literally becomes a part of the glue holding those shards of you together?
It’s a slippery, ugly, sticky liquid that you can’t seem to get rid of. No matter how many times you wipe it off, it comes right back.. Seeping slowly from somewhere within.
Sometimes you might even get really close to getting it off.
Things look up a little, and you feel a little calmer.
You can finally breathe for just a fleeting moment.
And then you realize that those little shards are falling off.
Getting lost.
The stuff comes rushing back as you stick those little memories back onto yourself. And you fall farther than you were before you started.
Have you ever wanted to die.. But also wanted to live, all at once?
Yeah... me too.
I know someone out there knows exactly this feeling. There has to be someone that understands this. I can’t be alone. | 7 |
I dont know what to do | I dont think I'm sad I just have nothing to look forward to in life I'm doing horrible in highschool, have about 5 friend that I dont even hang out with. My dad and I usually watch movies together because I want to spend as much time with him before he's gone. I play videogames and watch livestreams. I spend most of the day on the internet, no one judges me. i don't really know if I'm suicidal, I dont think how I might kill my self but I'm contplaning on doing it in 5 years.and I'd say the only reason I'm not dead already is because the people around me, I dont want anyone else to feel how I do.I know people say things get better but its been 3 years since freshman year of high school and I'm still not happy. I really don't know what to do anymore. What do you guys to to be happy? I feel like I haven't been happy in like 7 years. | 1 |
I'm sitting here thinking about killing myself 107 billion people have lived and died so my life is actually pointless plus my family hates me and i have no friends. i hate myself | null | 8 |
Im ugly af | Anytime that i catch a person's interest they start really looking at my imperfections, which have come from a hard life. My broken nose and frown lines. If I ever fall in love its inevitable that I scare them off with my guarded personality and my many neurosis. But I can't help opening my heart to more pain. Thinking I could ever find love seems like a delusional act of masochism. I am bound to lose those I care about through death, both physical and of the ego. When I pull through my depression and they act like they want me back I hold that old resentment from being left alone for so long. Oh and my hair looks dumb like this to. Thank you for coming to my talk, I'm Ted . | 7 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.