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+MATT: Hello, everyone.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
+
+sit around and play the first game of our new
+campaign of Dungeons and Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Super excited to be back. I’ve missed this a
+lot. Missed this– oh, you guys will be fine. So
+
+yes. Glad you guys can join us, apparently in some
+crazy numbers. So welcome new viewers. Hope you
+
+enjoy your stay. So, without further ado, let’s
+get this going so we can get through our
+
+announcements. Since it is our first episode of
+the year, of the campaign, I want to make sure
+
+that we get our announcements out of the way.
+We’ve got some cool stuff to talk about. First and
+
+foremost, we have two sponsors tonight. Our first
+sponsor– and we’re going into, for a time, a cool
+
+partnership with the folks at DnD Beyond,
+actually. They’ve been really awesome, and we’ve
+
+been talking, and anybody who hasn’t seen it, it’s
+an online digital tool where you can create your
+
+own D&D character, they have options to purchase
+any of the current D&D books out there, and then
+
+carry over any of the character options and racial
+options over into it, so you can basically use it
+
+as a tool. We’ll be using it to help us out in the
+game as we go, ‘cause it’s actually got some pretty
+
+cool stuff. So excited about that. It is D-N-D
+Beyond, by the way, if you haven’t seen, not the
+
+ampersand. It’s D-N-D.
+
+LAURA: As in nnnn.
+
+MATT: Nnnn. But yeah, so they’re going to be a
+long-term partner for the show, so working with us
+
+through the start of this campaign. We’re super
+excited. But yeah. So we’re excited. You can
+
+currently activate– it should be now– some
+Critical Role content on there. They should have
+
+available the Blood Hunter class that I created a
+couple of years ago, kind of refining. Should be
+
+available for you guys to find on the DnD Beyond,
+which I’m excited about, and there’s a one-time
+
+discount of $10 off any digital book in the
+dndbeyond.com marketplace if you use the codeword
+
+‘beginnings’ in there right now. So yeah, get a
+chance to check it out.
+
+TRAVIS: (vomiting noises) Would you like some?
+
+MATT: So yeah. I’m super excited to have that,
+guys. So you apply that code at checkout to make
+
+that happen, in case you’re confused and trying to
+get it to work. There’s a bunch of stuff to
+
+explore on there, and a bunch of cool ways to
+incorporate the existing breadth of D&D lore and
+
+options in there, and now you have some of our stuff in
+there as well, and hopefully more Critical Role
+
+content and Tal'Dorei content and Exandria content
+down the road to also be available on there as we
+
+go. Super excited about that. I’d like to thank
+you guys at DnD Beyond for being awesome. We also
+
+have our second sponsor. Sam, if you want to take
+it away.
+
+SAM: I’m our second sponsor.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Thanks, Sam!
+
+SAM: No. Welcome, new viewers. Every week– or
+many weeks, I am charged with writing the ad for
+
+the sponsor of that week. I did this one way back
+in mid-December, so it’ll feel a little stale.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Sorry. I didn’t have time to write a new one.
+Apologies to our sponsor. But our second sponsor
+
+tonight is Backblaze. They offer unlimited cloud
+backup for Macs and PCs. You can restore from the
+
+web or via hard drive. They’ll even overnight
+FedEx a drive to you, and because it’s Christmas
+
+season, I wrote this. ‘Twas the night before
+Critmas when I clicked on my mouse, but the drive
+
+wasn’t whirring; it had said 'Adi-ouse’. When up
+from the cloud there arose such a sight, I knew in
+
+a flash that my shit was all right. As I spat out
+my plate of cold chicken kiev, down my chimney
+
+came a weird little elf named Lev. I said, “Whoa,
+whoa, whoa, how’d you get in my place?” Lev gave
+
+me a wink and punched me in the face. And suddenly
+he fired up a pipe and started to restore my
+
+computer from a backup he carted. My documents,
+like slash fiction from My Little Pony. My photos,
+
+like me naked, covered in bologna. He mumbled that
+you can get backed up at once for a merry little
+
+fee of $5 a month-s. You even get 15 days free if
+you scroll over to backblaze.com/criticalrole. And
+
+just like that, my computer was on. Lev greased up
+his body, and bam, he was gone. But I heard him
+
+exclaim, “Peace out, yo, whassup! Happy Backblaze
+to all, don’t forget to back up!”
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: I’ll write another one for Easter, I
+promise.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. So thank you, Backblaze.
+Happy to have you for our sponsor tonight as well.
+
+Also, as a heads-up, we’ve had our friends at
+Wyrmwood for a while have been awesomely providing
+
+Wyrmwood dice boxes and dice trays and dice towers
+to give away to people in the community. They have
+
+new boxes for all the players in the new campaign.
+And they have been working on something for a
+
+while for us to kick off the new campaign. They
+made us a new table. If we can go to a camera view
+
+of this table they made for the campaign.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: It’s made out of English brown oak, the
+center Critical Role inlay is made of ash burl, is
+
+the background, and then rosewood for the d20
+outline, wenge for the Critical Role words
+
+themselves, and silver stringing around the
+border. It was built by hand in their
+
+Massachusetts office and workshop, and it was
+hand-rubbed oil on a wax finish. Over a hundred
+
+hours were put into this table. They did an
+incredible job, and we’re super honored to have
+
+that here, and thank you guys for showing such an
+awesome appreciation for what we do.
+
+SAM: It smells really nice.
+
+LAURA: We have cubbies!
+
+MARISHA: It smells like wood in the studio, like
+fresh wood.
+
+SAM: And, when we get canceled, this is going to
+be a great dining room table.
+
+MATT: This is true! Thank you guys, Wyrmwood. If
+you aren’t familiar with any of their stuff, go to
+
+wyrmwoodgaming.com, that’s W-Y-R-M-wood Gaming
+dot com. They do awesome work. It’s really super
+
+high-quality, it’s great. So thank you guys. All
+right, so. Let’s see. Updates we can get through.
+
+Laura, do you have an update for merch stuff in
+the new year?
+
+LAURA: (yells) Okay. Yes, I do. It’s a new
+campaign, new us, new merch. I don’t know which
+
+camera I’m looking at.
+
+SAM: That one.
+
+LAURA: So we released our teaser on socials, and
+everybody was like, “I want that as a poster!” So
+
+we listened to you, and we made it a poster!
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: It’s a real poster?
+
+LAURA: It’s a real poster!
+
+SAM: Oh, wow!
+
+LAURA: Look at this lameness that you could have
+on your wall! So yeah. It’s in the store right
+
+now, you guys, and we printed a small amount, so
+those ones will be shipped faster, and then after
+
+that it’ll just be pre-order, but I think it’s all
+listed as pre-order, so just so you know.
+
+SAM: Can you photoshop out my crotch region?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be a lot of photoshop, man.
+
+MATT: None of us have that much talent in post,
+Sam.
+
+LAURA: But let’s just talk about this Matthew
+Mercer.
+
+MATT: Let’s not talk about what I– when I put
+that outfit on, I did not consider quite the
+
+permeation in my life it would become. So there’s
+that.
+
+LAURA: So we can be with you always. Matt can
+stare at you while you sleep.
+
+LIAM: That’s actually how Purvon dressed.
+
+MATT: God damn it.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, first throwback! Well done.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah. We’ve got to be careful, guys,
+because we have a lot of people that haven’t
+
+watched the last campaign, or haven’t finished the
+last campaign, so no spoilers for last campaign.
+
+SAM: I don’t really remember it.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we all died, so.
+
+MATT: That’s true, yeah. Okay, next announcements:
+the Critical Role podcast we have currently up to
+
+date. All of Vox Machina’s story, the whole first
+campaign, is now on the podcast. You can find it
+
+where the finest podcasts are downloaded. And do
+we have an update as far as the release schedule
+
+for this podcast?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, we do. They will be releasing one
+week after we are live. We’ll be one week behind.
+
+SAM: On a Thursday?
+
+MARISHA: They will be releasing on Thursdays the
+week after.
+
+LAURA: Oh, so you can listen to it in the morning
+and watch it live at night. If you have a lot of
+
+free time. Or a really long drive, maybe.
+
+SAM: An extra eight hours to spend every
+Thursday.
+
+MATT: To be fair, you guys would have about as
+much free time on a Thursday as I would. Cool, so
+
+look forward to that. Comic book, issue four of
+Critical Role: Vox Machina Origins, Liam, when
+
+does that come out?
+
+LIAM: It is coming out on the 24th of this month.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, make it sooner!
+
+LIAM: I’ve read it. It’s so good, it’s real good,
+it’s so good. You guys, Vox Machina’s story ended
+
+at this table, but it is going to live on and on
+and on– at least for three more issues.
+
+MATT: Thank you very much.
+
+TRAVIS: Check it out everywhere.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, on Zune, on PalmPilot. Darkhorse app,
+Comixology, Limewire, finally.
+
+MARISHA: Napster.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to throw up.
+
+MATT: That’s okay, guys, we’ve got a couple more
+things left. Thank you for hanging in there. As
+
+far as con appearances go, I actually fly tomorrow
+to Miami, Florida for Paradise City Comic Con.
+
+I’ll be there tomorrow until Sunday. If you guys
+are in the area, come say hi at the convention. It
+
+should be fun. I have panels and signings and
+stuff. Hopefully see you there. Also, I’ll be at
+
+Lexington Comic and Toy Con in Lexington,
+Kentucky, March 9-11, Otafest in Calgary, May
+
+18-20, and A-Kon in Texas, June 7-10.
+
+ASHLEY: Jeez Louise, Matt.
+
+LAURA: We have Emerald City Comic Con, me and
+Travis.
+
+TRAVIS: First weekend of March.
+
+MATT: Badass. Cool. All right, so. Paring it down,
+finishing it up here. Thank you for your patience.
+
+With the new campaign, I want to renew our
+appreciation for and make sure that we push to you
+
+guys that we, from the very beginning, have been
+supporting a really amazing charity called 826,
+
+826LA being our local chapter. They have 826
+groups all over the United States that they do
+
+after-school creative writing, and a lot of great
+creative classes for children who are either
+
+underprivileged or don’t have opportunities to go
+to these types of classes. They do wonderful,
+
+wonderful work, and we’ve been supporting them
+from the very beginning, and we’re just doubling
+
+down on that for this new campaign. You guys as a
+community have been fantastic in supporting them,
+
+and all the charities that we’ve supported from
+the very beginning. Critmas every year has been a
+
+very prime example of that, so I just wanted to
+continue to push that forward, share the love, and
+
+a big thank-you to 826 for being such an amazing
+source of creative drive for so many young kids
+
+who normally wouldn’t have that opportunity. So
+you guys are amazing, and show them your
+
+appreciation if you can.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Final shout-outs. One, thank you to Ian
+Phillips of Iron Tusk Painting, who has painted
+
+the miniatures for this campaign.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: He actually painted me and Marisha’s cake
+toppers for our wedding, and whenever you manage
+
+to see them in the campaign, you can know that
+it’s his handiwork. Soon enough.
+
+ASHLEY: Also, fun fact about Ian Phillips: I grew
+up with him. He was one of my brother’s best
+
+friends when we first moved out here to LA, and so
+when that name was floating around, I was like,
+
+wait a minute. And then we reconnected back on
+Instagram. It’s such a crazy story. You know,
+
+Critical Role brings it all back around.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I love it. So you can follow him,
+@PaintingTusk on Twitter.
+
+LIAM: I’ve had him paint 20 to 30– I’m kind of
+addicted– 20 to 30 miniatures. They’re amazing.
+
+He’s amazing at what he does.
+
+MATT: And final thank-yous to Warner Bros and
+Monolith Entertainment for letting us incorporate
+
+the Shadow of War soundtrack into our Critical
+Role soundtrack here on the air, so those will be
+
+coming into the new campaign. And, super excited,
+CD Projekt Red has been nice enough to allow us
+
+use of the Witcher series soundtrack to also
+incorporate into the campaign, which, honestly,
+
+when we started playing at home, the Witcher
+soundtrack was most of my music, and I couldn’t
+
+use it when we started streaming, and so it’s been
+a cool full-circle to be able to bring it back in.
+
+Plus it brings a unique flavor that works with the
+new campaign setting, so.
+
+With that, I believe our announcements are done.
+Thank you for bearing with us.
+
+LAURA: Wait, we’re going to give– oh, that’s–
+
+MARISHA: Afterwards.
+
+SAM: There’s one more announcement.
+
+MARISHA: Our announcement is our brand-new opening
+title sequence. Which I think we’re ready for.
+
+MATT: So, as we bring it down, guys, let’s go
+ahead and prepare to dive in to the new year and
+
+the new campaign for this episode of Critical
+Role.
+
+(yelling)
+
+[80s music]
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And welcome back.
+
+TRAVIS: That was a new level.
+
+MATT: We’ve definitely returned to the table.
+Thank you, Sam. So.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, super fast. We’ve got to go through
+credits. Right? Okay. So normally we don’t do
+
+this, and I did this once before when we released
+our other opening title sequence. Yeah, 50th. So
+
+we’re going to do this again. These are just
+people who do so much and who do not get enough
+
+love. I’m going to shout them out. Sean Becker,
+who’s the unsung hero of Geek and Sundry, he’s the
+
+executive producer. T.J. Rotell, he’s our
+production manager around here, he makes sure that
+
+we actually have cameras. Maxwell James, our
+producer that makes this show go every week. Dani
+
+Carr, our production coordinator, also huge
+producer here. Steve Sprinkles, who directed that
+
+amazing opening title sequence.
+
+SAM: That’s not a real name!
+
+MARISHA: I know. I love it on the slate. It always
+says 'Sprinkles’. Jan-Michael Losada, who is our
+
+D.P., and is the same D.P. from last time. Tristan
+Savage-Tate, our first A.C. Sean Delahunt, who is
+
+our key grip. Tyler Hart, who is our gaffer, who
+gaffs everything around here, he’s amazing. Jenny
+
+Newman, who did the amazing wardrobe. She sourced
+all the wardrobe. Wren Witting, who’s one of our
+
+hair and makeup artists. Vanessa Marie, who is our
+second hair and makeup artist. Jose Sosa, who was
+
+our production assistant. Selina Ruthe–
+
+LAURA: That’s a lot of pieces of paper!
+
+MARISHA: I know. Selina Ruthe, who did additional
+photography, and she also does stuff every day.
+
+LAURA: Why didn’t you put them on the same piece
+of paper?
+
+MARISHA: Because I didn’t know there was going to
+be this many. Brandon Clark, who was our location
+
+manager. Pamela Joy, who shot all the photos for
+that, and Loretta Ritchert.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, they’re with Heirloom Photography,
+and they did all of our thumbnails, too. They did
+
+that poster.
+
+ASHLEY: Go check them out on Instagram!
+
+MARISHA: Jason Charles Miller, who does our
+music.
+
+LIAM: Party on, Garthok!
+
+MARISHA: Sean Hudson, who does our
+post-production. And Andy Inglat, who edited that
+
+thing. Okay. I’m sweating a lot.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. So.
+
+SAM: What a night. Well, guys…
+
+TALIESIN: This has been great.
+
+LIAM: Holy shit.
+
+MATT: Everyone. Everyone.
+
+SAM: Can we open our fricking books yet?
+
+MARISHA: Not yet.
+
+MATT: Welcome to Wildemount. The year is 835 P.D.,
+or post-Divergence. This continent is divided both
+
+by jagged terrain and political powers. The
+Menagerie Coast, a collection of city-states
+
+united under the Clovis Concord, monopolizes the
+southwestern shores and ports of Wildemount,
+
+thriving on open trade and cultural freedom.
+Beyond the Cyrios Mountains lies the massive
+
+region known as Wynandir, bisected by the
+Ashkeeper Peaks. Eastern Wynandir houses the
+
+expansive wastes and turbulent badlands of
+Xhorhas, overrun with all manner of beasts and
+
+terrors, relics from the final battles of the
+Calamity that ruined that scarred landscape.
+
+Northward, you would find the Greying Wildlands, a
+lawless realm harboring a curse that has kept it
+
+unconquered by human hands. However, this story
+begins in the territory of Western Wynandir,
+
+within the boundaries of the Dwendalian Empire.
+Emerging 13 generations before, the Dwendalian
+
+Empire has slowly spread to encompass the
+surrounding societies of the region, absorbing the
+
+peoples of the Zemni Fields and the Marrow Valley,
+before finally conquering the Julous Dominion and
+
+taking the whole of Western Wynandir for the
+Empire.
+
+SAM: There will be no test.
+
+MATT: No. This is– let me continue. Under the
+rule of the current King Bertrand Dwendal, now in
+
+his 68th year, most are left to their own devices.
+You live as you did before. The crown only takes a
+
+tithe of what you produce and earn. You follow its
+laws, worship its gods, and bow to its installed
+
+local leadership. In return, denizens of the
+Empire are protected from the chaotic horrors and
+
+shadowed evils that stalk the edges of the
+civilized lands. This accord has led to a
+
+prosperous century for the Empire, or at least the
+political elite. Tensions brew beneath the
+
+chafing watch of the Crown’s Guard. Every temple
+is government-owned and run, and worship outside
+
+the approved idolatry is met with imprisonment.
+Rumors of military clashes at the eastern border
+
+near Xhorhas have many common folk on edge. Our
+story, however, begins much smaller. Here in the
+
+southern reaches of the Marrow Valley, beyond the
+entry gates of the Wuyun Gorge, lies the small
+
+rural town of Trostenwald. Bordering the blue
+waters of the Ustaloch, this town came to
+
+prominence near the turn of this recent century,
+when the surrounding fertile farmlands were
+
+discovered to produce a unique type of grain and
+wheat, leading to a boom of breweries. When the
+
+glut subsided, three large families stood
+triumphant in the local business of fermented
+
+delights. Now Trostenwald thrives on their exports
+of fish, crops, and ale. Here in this sleepy trade
+
+stop along the Amber Road, a handful of wandering
+destinies slowly begin to intersect.
+
+We begin in the early hours of the morning on the
+day of Grissen in a messy room on the second floor
+
+of the Nestled Nook Inn. A bleary-eyed, bruised
+man in a tattered coat slowly wakens from his
+
+lengthy sleep, catching his small, snoring ally
+curled at the foot of the bed. Liam, if you would
+
+like to describe your character, please.
+
+(nervous laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, no pressure!
+
+SAM: Were we supposed to prepare this?
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty filthy. I have a mess of
+reddish-brown hair, and really filthy road
+
+clothes. I wear a long coat that I slept in. I
+slept about 20 hours last night. Jeez. Unshaven, a
+
+bit of a mess.
+
+SAM: So far you’re just talking about current
+Liam.
+
+LAURA: What color are your eyes? I need visual.
+
+LIAM: They’re blue. That’s it. It was a rough day
+yesterday, and– that’s it.
+
+MATT: And your name is?
+
+LIAM: Oh. Caleb. Caleb Widogast.
+
+MATT: All right. As your smaller friend curls
+awake, Sam, would you like to describe your
+
+character?
+
+SAM: Yeah. Um. I am a little goblin girl.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I am a goblin. So, you know, the green skin,
+the green hair, the yellow eyes. And she wears
+
+not-great clothes, just like her traveling
+companion there. She hides in the shadows a lot,
+
+because she knows goblins aren’t welcome in this
+part, and that’s about it. I mean, she’s a little
+
+skittish, and right now she’s probably stirring
+awake as well, right?
+
+MATT: Well. What’s your name?
+
+SAM: Oh. Nott the Brave.
+
+MATT: So Caleb, as you come to consciousness, you
+glance over and can see, slowly snoring and
+
+rousing at about the same time, Nott’s eyes blink
+open, her slowly groaning face looking over
+
+towards you.
+
+SAM: (high-pitched Cockney accent) Oh! You’re finally awake,
+I see. Oh yeah, motherfuckers. It’s on. You were out for quite
+
+some time, there. Rough day, eh?
+
+LIAM: (light German accent) Not our best day, no.
+
+SAM: No, I mean, usually you’re so good at
+everything, but yesterday you were just– maybe
+
+you needed the sleep, is what you needed.
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Well, don’t thank me yet. I should probably
+tell you what happened while you were asleep. I
+
+mean, you were asleep for so long. I got bored,
+frankly. I was going through my pack and
+
+reorganizing.
+
+LIAM: Has anybody seen you– seen you seen you?
+
+SAM: Well, I mean, many people? I got bored.
+You’ve never slept that long, so I left, I went
+
+downstairs, I thought I’d do a bit of
+window-shopping, and you know how sometimes I get
+
+the itch, you know?
+
+LIAM: I do. Did you make it back here okay, at
+night?
+
+SAM: I’m here, aren’t I?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you are.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I did. But I might have been spotted by
+a few of the Crown’s Guard.
+
+LIAM: Did you have the mask on?
+
+SAM: No? No, I didn’t. But they didn’t catch me,
+so. Listen, I’m sorry, sometimes I get the urge,
+
+I’ve got to take something, you know? I was trying
+to replentish what you lost yesterday, and I failed.
+
+LIAM: Well, we– (sighs)– discussed coming to a
+bigger town. It’s going to be a little more
+
+difficult now. You can’t go– it was easier on
+outskirts, it was easier in farms, but we can’t do
+
+that here.
+
+SAM: I know, I’m sorry. Yeah. I know. You’re
+right. Yep. I just got a little bit squiggly.
+
+That’s all.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Well, I think today you should have
+the mask on at all times.
+
+SAM: Yeah, good idea, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: It’s better when we’re working together. If
+you need to steal something, do it with my help,
+
+all right?
+
+SAM: Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Back up the conversation a minute. Thank
+you. I would not be alive if you had not– you
+
+saved my life. So thank you.
+
+SAM: Ah, no problem.
+
+LIAM: Yesterday was really not great.
+
+SAM: Yeah, well, we’ll do better today, right?
+
+LIAM: Sure. Sure we will. Are you hungry?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m starving.
+
+MATT: At this point, you notice the gentle smell
+of cooked meats and promises of mediocre porridge
+
+and eggs just barely begins to creep beneath the
+subtle floor of your room, meet your nostrils.
+
+LIAM: Well, Nott, what are we going to do today? I
+can go down and get breakfast and bring it up
+
+here. At least– I don’t know. I mean, I’m a
+little wary of just splashing back into the town
+
+right away.
+
+SAM: Let’s go down, get some food. I’ll come with
+you, 'cause as you said, we’re better together.
+
+And we’ll take it from there. You need some books
+and stuff, right?
+
+LIAM: Always.
+
+SAM: All right, well, that’s on the to-do list.
+
+LIAM: All right, well, let’s get something to eat,
+then.
+
+MATT: All right, so you prepare yourself with your
+mask set over?
+
+SAM: Yes, yeah, so I have a half a mask that
+covers my goblin face, and with the hood over,
+
+kind of obscures. Maybe it’s not a goblin, maybe
+it’s a little halfling person or something.
+
+MATT: Which is helpful. The southern, more rural
+region of the Empire, especially near Felderwin,
+
+which is one of the largest tilling and farming
+areas of the entire Empire, has a very heavy
+
+halfling population. And so while this city is not
+the core of it, you’d probably see a larger 20-25%
+
+of the population here in Trostenwald is halfling.
+So you pass off pretty decently as long as you
+
+keep away from discerning, intent eyes. So the two
+of you manage to gather your things for the time
+
+being, wander down the stairs from the top floor
+down to the base of the tavern, which, the air is
+
+already bustling with townsfolk and all manner of
+travelers preparing to take on the day’s
+
+responsibilities. Yorda, the 40-something woman
+barkeep with shoulder-length blonde hair and
+
+weathered skin that you previously rented your
+room at the inn from, frantically darts behind the
+
+bar while the red-headed barmaid rushes from table
+to table. It seems that the clientele is a bit
+
+more than they were expecting this morning. Yorda
+yells from behind the bar to the barkeep,
+
+“Adelaine, two more brats and a bit of mush at the
+corner table.” She looks up, “I’m working on it!”
+
+And she runs over and heads back to the kitchen.
+There’s a faint bit of music as two
+
+slovenly-looking musicians in the corner are
+trying to work for tips with a small hat on the
+
+floor that it looks like nobody’s thrown any coin
+into it. The tables are fairly busy, except for
+
+maybe two that appear to be available between the
+two of you guys, if you’d like to find a seat.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Sure. Is that easy to do, find a
+seat?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you walk over to it, you sit down.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Is this how D&D works?
+
+SAM: What do we roll for?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You sit down, and due to the chaos that
+ensues around you, it takes a little while for
+
+Adelaine, the red-headed barmaid, to come by, and
+she scoots by the table. “I’m terribly sorry. What
+
+“can I get you?”
+
+SAM: You know, meat if you have it, but if you
+don’t, that’s okay, too. Potatoes, or bacon if
+
+it’s on the menu, but really anything–
+
+MATT: “I can get you all three, it’s fine. What
+you want?”
+
+LIAM: A Trost for each of us, please.
+
+MATT: “For breakfast? I like you. All right, two
+Trosts and a bunch of meats. Be right back.” And
+
+she rushes off, she pulls her hair back and ties it as
+she goes into the kitchen, getting ready for the
+
+midst of chaos. While you guys have a moment there
+at the table, you can hear conversation muttering
+
+around you, and you have a brief bit of privacy to
+discuss.
+
+LIAM: Yes, I need books, that’s true, but did you
+find drink yesterday?
+
+SAM: I have a little left in my flask.
+
+LIAM: How much?
+
+SAM: Just a couple swigs.
+
+LIAM: So that’s also on the to-do list, then.
+
+SAM: I mean, if you don’t want me to get too
+jittery, yeah.
+
+LIAM: All right. Okay. So we’ll do that first.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: I love her.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: A short time passes before the two platters
+are rushed over and scattered across the front of
+
+your table with a clattering. Pile of meats there
+set for you, a little bit placed on the side,
+
+because you might need, especially with the look
+on your face– Adelaine gives you a glance and
+
+goes, “Put something in your belly.” Comes back
+and slides two Trosts to you.
+
+SAM: I remove my little mask, and then just go
+(eating noises).
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I take the last piece.
+
+MATT: As you guys are partway through your meal–
+let’s see, this would be Caleb. You notice out of
+
+the corner of your eye a gentleman enter the door
+looking kind of meek. Middle-age, looks
+
+work-hardened. He has a heavy chin-beard that is
+unkempt and a bit wild, but his eyes are warm.
+
+He’s holding his hat in his grip, and he scans the
+room with an eager glance before his face
+
+brightens, and he begins to push his way across
+the room, in your direction, it looks like. He
+
+scoots over towards your table, and as you’re
+about to turn and see what he’s about–
+
+LIAM: I’m putting my hand on my purse.
+
+MATT: –he pivots to the table next to you
+instead. He turns to you three.
+
+(yelps)
+
+LAURA: We’ve just been sitting here this whole
+time!
+
+MATT: Yeah. You’ve met this man the day before,
+Rinaldo, the fisherman, who you had aided. And as
+
+he approaches, he goes, “Might I sit, please?”
+
+LAURA: Of course, take a seat.
+
+SAM: What’s that?
+
+MATT: As he sits down in his chair, I would ask
+each of you to please describe yourselves,
+
+starting with you, Laura.
+
+LAURA: (Slavic accent) Oh, well, okay. I’m just, you
+know, a little blue tiefling, that’s all, with blue hair.
+
+And I’m wearing a pretty cute dress, that’s all.
+And I’m having a good time, you know? We’re just
+
+having a good time here at breakfast.
+
+MATT: All right. And you?
+
+MARISHA: Uh, yeah. Yeah. I’m, you know,
+simple girl, simple needs. Just wearing nice, baggy
+
+clothes, some monk vestiges. They’re in nice blues
+and greys. You notice I have a blue sash around my
+
+belt. Got a nice shave going on, little undercut.
+Looks like maybe I put on makeup two days ago, and
+
+I’m like, yeah, it’s still holding up. It’s fine.
+I can work with that.
+
+SAM: What’s your name?
+
+MATT: We’ll get to that. Thank you. And Travis, if
+you’d like to describe yourself, please?
+
+TRAVIS: (Texan drawl) Yeah, I’m here too.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a half-orc, sitting here in beat-up
+leathers. Have a big scar across my face.
+
+SAM: (sings 'Bad to the Bone’)
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Green skin tone, and got some piecemeal
+armor put together and stuff. My name’s Fjord.
+
+LAURA: You’re very handsome. I just need to tell
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you. Appreciate that.
+
+MATT: As Rinaldo sits down, clutching his hat
+still in his hands, says, “I thank you for your
+
+“time. Fjord. And, I apologize, I forget your
+names.”
+
+MARISHA: Beauregard.
+
+MATT: “Beauregard. And?”
+
+LAURA: Jester.
+
+MATT: “Jester, thank you. You all came when no one
+else would yesterday, and because of you my
+
+"daughter is still alive.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah. Sorry for being a pessimistic
+asshole, by the way, when we first came into town.
+
+MATT: “Oh, that’s okay.”
+
+MARISHA: I’m not used to things turning out good.
+
+MATT: “You’ll do well this side of the Empire.
+Anyway. I won’t keep you, but I– we spoke
+
+"yesterday, and I didn’t have much to give you.
+Sent you away with nothing but my gratitude. But
+
+"I’ve been asking around the other fishermen,
+lochsmen, and we’ve put together a little bit of
+
+"coin for your troubles, so.” And he turns his cap
+over on the table, and this catches your
+
+attention, you hear this clattering of coin. Your
+eyes glance over, especially you, Nott, and watch
+
+as he leaves this pile of what looks to be mostly
+copper and silver pieces, with a couple of
+
+glimmers of gold, and as soon as it clatters
+across the hard wood table here in the center of
+
+the tavern, other faces begin to turn, gather
+attention as to what’s happening over here in the
+
+back edge, and he takes his cap back and pushes it
+forward towards all of you, his dirty, you can see
+
+cracked and very callused fingers shoving it in
+your direction, before taking his hat and placing
+
+it back over his head.
+
+LAURA: So cool!
+
+LIAM: Those coins went all over the floor?
+
+MATT: All over the table. “I hope it’s helpful.
+But thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. Oh wait.
+
+TRAVIS: We can’t accept this, right? I mean, it’s
+too much.
+
+MARISHA: We’re supposed to at least say that,
+right? And then still accept it, right?
+
+TRAVIS: I think you’re supposed to do it if you
+say it.
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean, he did go around to a bunch
+of people. That was a lot of work on his part. I
+
+would hate to make him go back to all of those
+people and give it back to each individual
+
+person.
+
+TRAVIS: Fine, fine.
+
+MARISHA: If he didn’t keep a ledger, you know. We
+wouldn’t want to do that. It’s rude not to accept
+
+a gift, right? It’s rude not to accept a gift,
+right?
+
+MATT: “I would hope that is the case. Anyway.
+Thank you very much. I am sorry for getting in
+
+"your way.” And he stands up and gives you all a
+nod and rushes out of the tavern, a little
+
+embarrassed by all the attention that’s now placed
+on him by the other patrons, and as he leaves,
+
+everyone goes back to their business, a couple of
+wandering eyes starting to count what coins are
+
+there as you slowly mitt them in your direction.
+
+LAURA: Divide it up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay.
+
+MATT: There are four gold pieces amongst the pile,
+22 silver, and 48 copper pieces.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I clock the room, see who else is
+watching her count?
+
+MATT: Perception check. 48 copper.
+
+TRAVIS: Is this the first roll?
+
+MATT: First roll of the campaign.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: And that’s how you start it. All right.
+
+LAURA: So I’m leaving it to you to do that
+counting. Which is really hard for me, personally,
+
+but there you go.
+
+MARISHA: How do you split up four gold? We have
+four gold and there’s only three of us.
+
+LAURA: Don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I actually did pretty good at that
+card game, so you can have mine.
+
+MARISHA: Aw. I will. Okay.
+
+LAURA: So two for each of us! That’s great.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s good. One for you, two for
+me, two for– oh wait, no, wait, math doesn’t
+
+make sense.
+
+SAM: She’s your treasurer?
+
+MATT: This is going to go great.
+
+LAURA: It’s hard not being the treasurer.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give two to Jester, one for you, one
+for me. And then 22 silver, that’s–
+
+LAURA: Tell you what, you do that math.
+
+MATT: While you’re counting this out and figuring
+out the division of your gains, Fjord, you glance
+
+about, narrowing your orcish eyes across the room,
+and you can see two other tables there are some
+
+gentlemen who are peering over, and as soon as
+they meet your gaze, they go right back to their
+
+business and completely shrink away. There’s a man
+and a hooded figure at a table immediately
+
+adjacent to you. The man looks rather filthy, his
+hair a bit unkempt, and he’s trying to finish his
+
+drink. However, the smaller halfling-looking
+figure is just glaring intently, and is slowly
+
+leaning in the direction of the table.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s creepy. Fucking disgusting. I think
+we have people watching us.
+
+LAURA: Who is watching us?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, just take a look right over there.
+
+SAM: Don’t arouse suspicion, but did you hear all
+that coin hit that table, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I did. It’s on the table, though, so I think
+on the table it will stay.
+
+SAM: Yes, but we could follow them out. We could
+do the Moneypot. We could run Rat Food. We could
+
+do Prince and the Pauper to get it from them. We
+could try Spider Eyes. Any of those could work–
+
+LAURA: Are you guys staying here?
+
+MATT: This blue-skinned tiefling suddenly leans
+over to you at the table.
+
+SAM: Don’t move. Don’t move. Tieflings can only
+see movement.
+
+LIAM: I don’t think that’s true–
+
+LAURA: It’s very true, we have a hard time seeing
+things that aren’t moving, it’s very true. But I
+
+can hear you. You should take a bath. You know they
+have showers here. It’s possible.
+
+LIAM: A what now?
+
+LAURA: You bathe yourself in water.
+
+LIAM: No, I’ve bathed before, yeah, I know what a
+bath is.
+
+LAURA: It’s because you smell really bad, and it’s
+wafting over this direction. I’m just letting you
+
+know. I would hate if I smelled that bad and
+someone didn’t tell me.
+
+LIAM: I’ve only just met you.
+
+LAURA: Hi! I’m Jester.
+
+LIAM: Hi, I’m Caleb.
+
+LAURA: Nice to meet you, Caleb. How much silver
+did I just get?
+
+MARISHA: Seven!
+
+LAURA: Woo!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: And 16 copper. Aren’t you all jealous?
+
+SAM: Morning.
+
+MARISHA: Morning.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check, Beauregard and
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+LIAM: Are you checking your DnD Beyond specs?
+
+MARISHA: I am, I’m adding my–
+
+LAURA: 22. I haven’t even flipped over my
+character sheet yet. This is crazy.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. The somewhat meek female halfling
+who’s now suddenly very reserved, and not as
+
+filthy as the human compatriot that she keeps,
+seems less and less halfling the more you glance
+
+in her direction. The ears are folded inward but
+elongated, the tinges of green to the skin, and
+
+with the little words that have poked through her
+lips, you can see what appear to be teeth more jagged
+
+than expected of the half-folk.
+
+MARISHA: I just shout over and I say, good
+morning, in Halfling.
+
+SAM: I know Halfling, right? Yes. I’ll shout back,
+top of the morning to you.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Would you like a coffee? I’d love to buy
+you a coffee.
+
+SAM: We’ve got– free coffee? Yeah, yeah, I’ll
+take it. Sure. Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re being mighty fucking friendly. They
+were looking at our coin.
+
+MARISHA: Why can’t they have been looking at me?
+Maybe they were looking at me.
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t think of that.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe they were looking at you. As Jester
+said, you’re handsome.
+
+LIAM: Just–
+
+LAURA: Yes?
+
+LIAM: Nott.
+
+SAM: He said “Jest”.
+
+LAURA: I just thought you said my name, is all.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I said your name. Oh, they might have
+said your name, too.
+
+LIAM: Never mind, never mind. Could I get another
+Trost over here, please?
+
+SAM: Two, please, right away.
+
+MATT: Eventually Adelaine comes by and brings two
+fresh Trosts to the table, glancing about at the
+
+unique tension in the air right here. “Would you
+like anything as well?”
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes. Lots of baked goods if you have
+them, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Pork belly, if you have it.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think I’ve seen you eat anything
+other than pastries.
+
+LAURA: I really like them.
+
+MARISHA: I’m kind of concerned for your
+well-being. It’s fine, I’m not that concerned.
+
+Eat whatever you want. I’ll have bacon, some
+ham, whatever.
+
+MATT: “All right, pork it is. I’ll be right back.”
+She rushes off to the kitchen. You guys continue
+
+to awkwardly stare at each other.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to put my hand up and say,
+quietly, to Nott, the Moneypot is not for them.
+
+It’s not for them, it’s for farmers. Okay?
+
+SAM: Yeah, you’re right, you’re right.
+
+MARISHA: Do we notice them whispering?
+
+MATT: With your perception rolls earlier? Yes.
+
+LIAM: But I said it really quietly.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: She rolled a 22.
+
+LIAM: But she can hear my little whisper?
+
+MATT: No, you heard the whisper, you’re not sure
+what the words are. You can see that they’re
+
+whispering. Being mysterious.
+
+LAURA: Okay, cool.
+
+SAM: In Halfling, I’ll say to Beau–
+
+MARISHA: Beau for short works.
+
+SAM: Are you in town for business or pleasure?
+
+MARISHA: Can I insight check him, see what he’s
+hiding?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. What’s my insight, I can’t
+remember.
+
+LAURA: What is he saying? I mean you, you’re a
+girl. What is she saying? Shit. That’s really hard
+
+to remember now.
+
+SAM: You’re asking me what I’m saying.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, what did you just say?
+
+MARISHA: 13.
+
+MATT: 13? I mean, seems to be genuine. Hard to
+read through all the wrappings, shadow, and the
+
+hood still obscuring the face.
+
+LAURA: Do you have the mask covering you?
+
+SAM: I think I do.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s this porcelain covering that has
+painted lips. It’s a little unsettling.
+
+LIAM: I mean, I’m sorry, not to be blunt, but, you
+know. It’s pretty obvious goblins are not welcome
+
+strolling about.
+
+LAURA: She’s a goblin?!
+
+SAM: Yeah, yeah, but you don’t have to make a big
+thing of it, all right? There could be people here
+
+who don’t know.
+
+LIAM: That’s right. She’s my companion, she’s my
+friend. There’s nothing to make a big deal about.
+
+That’s why she’s wrapped up. Just leave it,
+please.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t ask why she was wrapped up.
+
+MARISHA: I know, we’re not making a big deal out
+it. You’re making a big deal out of it.
+
+LIAM: Somebody asked why she was wrapped up.
+
+LAURA: No, nobody asked.
+
+LIAM: Somebody said the words– this is Liam–
+“Why are you all wrapped up?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I asked if she was cold.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That’s concern.
+
+MATT: As Caleb finishes oversharing.
+
+LIAM: Vaxleth is over. It’s so over!
+
+MARISHA: Those are old times, man. That was a
+different universe. Different life.
+
+MATT: At this point, there is a bit of a commotion
+towards the entrance of the tavern. Two shadows
+
+step into the doorway of the nearish-noonday sun.
+The figures, one eclipsing the other from behind,
+
+begin to step in. You notice one of them begins to
+step from table to table, glancing about with a
+
+sort of grace to the movement, the other staying a
+few feet behind. Taliesin, if you’d like to
+
+describe your character, please.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t think we were going to meet you so
+soon!
+
+TALIESIN: Neither did I.
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t either.
+
+TALIESIN: But here we are. A lavender– damn it,
+Travis. A lavender tiefling with red eyes and very
+
+pierced, extremely ostentatious horns that are
+pierced with little gems and little baubles. He’s
+
+got a tattoo that seems to be running up the side
+of his face, a peacock tattoo that goes off into
+
+his very ostentatious, ridiculous, overblown robes
+that he wears. His two swords and pouch dangling at
+
+the side of his hips. He’s very broad in his
+dress.
+
+LIAM: So a literal and figurative peacock.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes.
+
+TRAVIS: One of your characters? No.
+
+TALIESIN: I know, mine. Who knew?
+
+MATT: As this tiefling darts from table to table,
+a few feet behind, you see–
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, did you say your name?
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t say my name.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. So there is a woman behind him. Taller
+than your average… lass.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: She’s very, very, very pale-skinned. Her
+hair is black that starts to turn white as it gets
+
+longer. It’s matted, it’s dreaded, it’s braided.
+Her clothes are a bit tattered, but just sort of–
+
+she’s a bit of a mess, and she has two different
+color eyes. One of them is a light greenish-blue,
+
+and the other is a violet color. And she’s very
+standoffish, hunch-y, arms folded.
+
+MATT: You watch as these figures slowly move from
+table to table, the tiefling engaging in some
+
+distant conversation, leaving a slip of paper,
+walking to the next table. Gauging the atmosphere,
+
+not leaving a slip of paper, and quickly moving
+on, and then eventually your eyes meet what looks
+
+to be two tables with a very motley crew of
+individuals that are both awkwardly avoiding their
+
+own tension and currently trying to figure you
+out.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I tell if– where are they in the
+dispensement of the coin? Can I tell they have a
+
+little coin on them? Did I catch any of that?
+
+MATT: They’ve completed distributing, so you don’t
+see any coin, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Well. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a
+group of people more in need of a good time in my
+
+entire life. Mollymauk Tealeaf of the Fletching
+and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities. If
+
+there was ever a group of people that needed a
+good time to go out, have a laugh, see things that
+
+you have never seen before, and my god, take my
+word for it, one month’s time, people will be
+
+buying your ale to hear the tale of what you saw
+at the Traveling Carnival of Curiosities this night.
+
+LAURA: We saw your tent going up! We did!
+
+MARISHA: We were actually going to go without the
+flyer, but now we also have a flyer.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s just five copper. A steal. At five
+silver, it would be a steal, at five gold? Worth
+
+every penny. But if you’ve got the five copper to
+spend, we would happily have you all.
+
+LAURA: Do you perform?
+
+TALIESIN: Ah. I’m less of a performer and more of
+an intermediary for these parts. I do on occasion
+
+perform. I can read fortunes–
+
+LAURA: (gasps) I was going to ask if you read
+fortunes! Can you do one now?
+
+TALIESIN: I knew you were going to ask that.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Oh my gosh, you’re so smart. Look
+at this guy, he knows everything!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to sit down at the table.
+
+MATT: Okay. He goes and sits down at this table,
+finishing his presentation. One of the barmaids
+
+comes up to you, and looks up. You’re standing
+almost a solid seven inches taller than her.
+
+“Miss, can I get you a drink?”
+
+ASHLEY: (deadpan) Yes could I have a drink,
+please. Just some ale.
+
+MATT: “Coming right up. Any preferences for the
+family? Baumbauch?”
+
+LAURA: Stay clear of Baumbauch. They’re dicks.
+
+MARISHA: That’s kind of true.
+
+ASHLEY: Just a big.
+
+MATT: “Husseldorf, then. All right. Be right
+back.” And she wanders off.
+
+TALIESIN: Well. Who has coin for a fortune?
+
+LAURA: Do you know my name?
+
+TALIESIN: What is your name?
+
+LAURA: Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: I know your name now!
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: (laugh)
+
+LAURA: What is your name?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, my name is Molly to my friends, and
+we’re friends, now, aren’t we? Pleasure.
+
+LAURA: Molly. Look at this guy.
+
+TALIESIN: Mollymauk. Molly for short. This is
+Yasha, she’s a charm.
+
+ASHLEY: Hello.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha. Yasha.
+
+TALIESIN: Now. Would anyone like a fortune read?
+
+LAURA: I would love one.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have coin?
+
+LAURA: Yes. How much do you want?
+
+TALIESIN: Two copper.
+
+LAURA: Two copper, okay, I just got some copper.
+Here you go.
+
+MATT: Mark down your two copper. (laughs)
+
+TALIESIN: I am taking this in. All right. (sighs)
+I’m going to try and do this.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, really?
+
+MATT: So, as he pulls out a small set of cards and
+begins to shuffle them, go ahead and roll an
+
+insight check.
+
+ASHLEY: (deadpan) He’s really quite good, you
+all should line up and get your fortunes told.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s do a 16 there.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you get a brief conversation here,
+you get a pretty solid read: the excitability, the
+
+eagerness, and the exuberant interest in just
+getting in your face that this person wants– any
+
+fortune you tell will probably suffice. Go ahead
+and roll a sleight-of-hand check as well.
+
+SAM: Look at this fucking game!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Also 16.
+
+MATT: Yeah. And you feel pretty confident that her
+eyes are locked onto your eyes at the moment and
+
+not the deck, as you set up a proper reading. And
+the cards are shuffled, set, you place them before
+
+you, and you may give your fortune.
+
+SAM: I’m going to just keep my eyes open for any
+tricks of the hand, sleight-of-hand-y-type tricks.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Okay. Perception. 14.
+
+MATT: 14. All right. Everything seems pretty
+above-board.
+
+TALIESIN: Your first card, the Silver Dragon. This
+is good. You’re pure, you’re virtue, you are a
+
+worthwhile and wonderful human being, obviously,
+or creature of some repute.
+
+LAURA: That’s what everyone always tells me.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s true. And heading towards the
+Anvil.
+
+LAURA: What is that?
+
+TALIESIN: That is a destiny forged.
+
+ASHLEY: (deadpan) Ohh.
+
+TALIESIN: There is something bright and
+adventurous in your future.
+
+LAURA: Wow! You know, we did just defeat a really
+big snake? So maybe there’s even bigger things
+
+coming up, you know?
+
+TALIESIN: Can I make another roll?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+SAM: Ashley confirmed worst hype-man ever.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: Yeah, easy enough. Even with discerning eyes
+at the table, you are at the top of your game.
+
+TALIESIN: The Serpent card appears. Of course you
+did.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Oh my gosh! Look at that! How did
+you even do that?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s all the cards. I’m simply a
+vessel for higher powers.
+
+LIAM: While everybody’s watching this shit happen,
+may I cast Detect Magic?
+
+MATT: You may. You lean back and subtly begin a brief
+muttering of an incantation, your fingers wash
+
+through the air, a faint silver gleam across your
+fingertips. Nothing magical shows up in the
+
+immediate vicinity.
+
+LAURA: Will you ask the cards if I’m going to find
+him?
+
+TALIESIN: If you’re going to find her?
+
+LAURA: Him.
+
+TALIESIN: Give me a little bit more. Who’s this
+'him’ that you’re looking for?
+
+LAURA: I’m looking for my dad.
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+MATT: You fumble for a second, but the card still
+finds its way through without issue.
+
+TALIESIN: Pushing through, pushing through. The
+Eye card pulls up. You’ve already found the clue
+
+you’re looking for. You just don’t know what it is
+yet.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+TALIESIN: Apparently. Well, it’s what the cards
+are saying. It’s right in front of you.
+
+LAURA: Wow. Does it say how long ago I found it?
+Because that’s–
+
+TALIESIN: Sadly, I don’t have that sort of
+specifics. That’s much more expensive.
+
+LAURA: That’s going to take a lot of thinking.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, you find us at the show, you’ll
+find my tent and I’d be happy to give you a more
+
+complicated reading.
+
+LAURA: I can’t wait! It’s going to be so much
+fun.
+
+TALIESIN: So much fun.
+
+MATT: Yasha, at this point, the barmaid, Adelaine,
+comes up and hands you the ordered ale.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you, my lady.
+
+MATT: “On the house.”
+
+TALIESIN: On the house!
+
+ASHLEY: That’s very kind of you.
+
+MARISHA: Do you perform in the circus, too?
+
+ASHLEY: No. I do not. I just– I put it up.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, cool.
+
+TRAVIS: The tent.
+
+LAURA: It’s a big tent. It would take a lot of
+work.
+
+ASHLEY: I put up the stage, I move things around.
+I’m very strong. But I don’t do anything in the show.
+
+TALIESIN: Some of our acts are a little
+complicated, with performers who are not of the
+
+traditional variety. Can make some of the locals
+get a little shifty, if you know what I mean, and
+
+it’s good to have a few people around who are
+capable of keeping issues contained.
+
+MARISHA: Is that why it says 'No admittance to the
+elderly’? You don’t want to deal with those riley
+
+elderly. Or the ill, yeah. Why no elderly, though?
+Ill kind of makes sense, but elderly?
+
+TALIESIN: We cannot be held responsible for
+anything that may happen to someone who is ill or
+
+infirm. It is such an exciting, impressive show.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ve had people die watching it.
+Yeah. It’s just that exciting. Just from
+
+excitement.
+
+TRAVIS: Did they die in the show, or from watching
+it?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, just like heart attack. Just from
+getting so excited, I guess.
+
+MARISHA: We gotta get so wasted.
+
+LAURA: When is it? How long is it? When is it?
+
+MATT: It is actually the day of Grissen, and your
+first show is today.
+
+TALIESIN: First show is tonight.
+
+LAURA: Well, we have plans tonight!
+
+MARISHA: Yay!
+
+LAURA: Do you stinky people want to come with us?
+
+SAN: I– Caleb, we don’t have any plans tonight. I
+guess we could go along. I wouldn’t mind seeing it.
+
+MARISHA: It’ll be fun!
+
+TALIESIN: Or you could stay here and buy beer for
+the people who do see the shows, and you can hear
+
+all about it and pay more.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we can go.
+
+LAURA: It’s going to be so much fun.
+
+SAM: Yeah, yeah, it sounds like a good night.
+Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Look at all these friends we’re making
+here. This is a good city.
+
+SAM: Yeah, it is.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: You are all the most charming people I’ve
+met in– yes. I finish my beer. (sighs) Well, we’d
+
+better be getting on.
+
+ASHLEY: Yep, nice to meet you all. You’re so, uh,
+wonderful.
+
+TALIESIN: Charm. Pure charm. See you tonight!
+
+MATT: And as they leave you, Yasha just downs her
+entire ale, slams it on the table, and they both
+
+walk out, passing a couple more flyers at off
+tables, and then exit out to the rest of the day’s
+
+sun beyond your sight.
+
+MARISHA: She was awesome.
+
+TRAVIS: She didn’t say much.
+
+MARISHA: That’s why I liked her.
+
+LAURA: She was really, really cool. Did you see
+that cool thing she had going on with her chin?
+
+That’s interesting. I wish I would have thought of
+something like that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, you could maybe do
+something like that in time. Just wait until
+
+maybe–
+
+LAURA: So she doesn’t know I copied. I can’t do it
+tonight.
+
+MARISHA: No, no.
+
+LAURA: Wow. Cool. What do you guys want to do
+now?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Was he using magic?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: Are you– you’re superstitious. Yeah?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: No, I’m not superstitious at all.
+
+MARISHA: You– sure.
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+MARISHA: I mean, what he was working in was– he
+was doing a little like– he– he’s a smart guy.
+
+He’s a smart guy.
+
+LAURA: By the way, did you open your Christmas
+present from me?
+
+TALIESIN: No, not yet, no.
+
+LAURA: You should go open it! Yes! Go grab the
+bag!
+
+TALIESIN: On the break. On the break, I’ll grab
+it.
+
+SAM: Hey, Matt. Dungeon master. They’re wearing
+what they described. They’re not wearing any
+
+cloaks or anything right now, are they?
+
+MATT: Both of them have small cloaks over the
+shoulders, Beau has a–
+
+SAM: Do I recognize those cloaks?
+
+MATT: No, you do not.
+
+LAURA: What? Why would you recognize the cloaks?
+
+SAM: Maybe I saw something. I don’t know.
+
+MATT: No, you do not.
+
+SAM: I didn’t see them last night?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+SAM: Okay. Interesting.
+
+MARISHA: Mysteries.
+
+LIAM: Also, for the record, there was nothing
+magic about that. Maybe he’s good at reading
+
+people, but that was not magic.
+
+SAM: Caleb knows everything about magic. He’s been
+even teaching me some. He’s real good. You should
+
+see him–
+
+LIAM: Nott–
+
+LAURA: Caleb, are you going to go the Academy?
+
+LIAM: (strained laugh) That’s silly.
+
+SAM: He could if he wanted to. He’s really good at
+magic. He can make a cat appear and disappear
+
+whenever he wants.
+
+LAURA: Really? A cat?
+
+LIAM: (snaps)
+
+MATT: You watch as just beneath the table, this
+orange patchy tabby leaps up.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, shit! What’s his name?
+
+LAURA: Or her name!
+
+LIAM: Well, it is a he. This is my cat Frumpkin.
+Frumpkin, yes.
+
+LAURA: Aw! Can I call him Lumpy?
+
+LIAM: You can call him Frumpkin.
+
+LAURA: Look at this Lumpy! Made in England.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: That was a little show gift from Marisha, so
+this is Frumpkin.
+
+LAURA: That’s so great.
+
+SAM: That’s not all he can do. Caleb, tell them all
+the stuff you can do. It’s really impressive!
+
+LIAM: You know, sometimes less is more.
+
+LAURA: I can do things, too.
+
+SAM: With magic?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Like what?
+
+LAURA: Like–
+
+SAM: Not to me, not to me!
+
+LAURA: Like– oh, gosh. Okay. I’m going to use
+Thaumaturgy and I’m going to make all the windows
+
+in the place open up really fast, like crash
+open.
+
+MATT: Okay. You watch as four of the nearby
+windows slam open with a sudden burst of wind, and
+
+all the various bits of torchlight that light the
+deeper and more shadowed corners of the room
+
+suddenly darken and flicker. The music suddenly
+comes to a stop. Everyone holds their position and
+
+glances over at the table where you’re all sitting.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, don’t you remember us talking
+about keeping a low profile?
+
+LAURA: You’re right. I’m sorry. I use Thaumaturgy
+and I close all the windows.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: They all slam shut a second time. The light
+flickers and then brightens back to its normal place.
+
+LAURA: Ta-da!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Come see me tonight at the carnival! I’m
+really good!
+
+MATT: One really crotchety-looking guy in his
+early 50s with a super underbite, probably missing
+
+most of his teeth, just goes–
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I telepathically tell Frumpkin to jump up
+and sit in the lap of the woman in the monk’s
+
+robes who just made a big scene and hopefully keep
+her occupied with being cute.
+
+MATT: Okay. As soon as you sit down, Frumpkin
+leaps into your lap and starts purring and rubbing
+
+up against your hand.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, buddy. Look at this kitty! I think
+he likes me.
+
+LIAM: Sure, right now he likes you.
+
+MARISHA: Is this a real cat? Or is this a fake
+cat?
+
+LIAM: What do you mean, a fake cat?
+
+MARISHA: Like a magic cat.
+
+LIAM: He’s both a real cat and a magic cat.
+
+MARISHA: Is he an illusion cat?
+
+LIAM: Do you feel him?
+
+TRAVIS: Could you put him over there?
+
+MARISHA: Are you allergic to Frumpkins? Oh no!
+
+LAURA: But he’s a magic cat. How can you be
+allergic to magic cats?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m pretty sure he’s a real fucking cat.
+
+MARISHA: He’s one of those hypoallergenic magic
+cats.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know what the Fifth Edition rules
+are–
+
+LAURA: –for cat dander?
+
+MATT: As far as you know right now? Yeah, he’s
+having an actual allergic attack. A minor one.
+
+MARISHA: I walk away a little bit from Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Shit.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Well, you’re both magic-users, then. And so
+is the larger fellow?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I mean, a little.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I mean, he’s learning. He’s getting
+really good at it.
+
+TRAVIS: Trying to learn more.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you should have seen him. He
+disguised himself the other day, and it was like,
+
+(clicks tongue).
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks, Jester. She’s better at it than I
+am. We’re trying to make our way up to the Academy
+
+to get a little bit more learning done.
+
+LAURA: Well, he’s going to learn. I’m not going to
+go to the Academy.
+
+MARISHA: Man, this Academy place keeps getting
+brought up.
+
+TRAVIS: Well yeah, it’s the place to be.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m sorry, what Academy are we talking
+about?
+
+TRAVIS: Solstryce Academy. You know.
+
+MATT: Soltryce.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that one.
+
+SAM: The Soul Train Academy.
+
+LIAM: It’s a very fancy place.
+
+TRAVIS: You know it.
+
+LIAM: I have heard of it.
+
+TRAVIS: And you have arcane talents as well.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: How long have you had yours?
+
+LIAM: That’s a tricky question. I studied when I
+was younger, and then I gave it up for a while. I
+
+picked it up again recently. It’s all
+book-learned.
+
+LAURA: Wow, that’s cool.
+
+MARISHA: This was a good way to go for your
+first.
+
+LAURA: A frickin’ cat!
+
+MARISHA: This is kind of therapeutic. Making me
+feel better, just about life in general.
+
+TRAVIS: (sneezes)
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+SAM: He reads lots of books, Caleb does. He’s very
+smart. In fact, should we go looking for more
+
+right now?
+
+LIAM: Maybe in a little while.
+
+LAURA: Can I see one of your books?
+
+LIAM: Well– and I pull apart the lapels of my
+coat. I have books in what modern-day people like
+
+to think of as holster-straps, but there’s a book
+hanging here.
+
+SAM: I think ancient people would call it a
+holster as well.
+
+LIAM: Bap-bap-bap. The books are right here. I
+have these, but these are heirlooms, family
+
+heirlooms, so I don’t share those, but– no, I
+like to read. That’s all. And I’m a bit of a
+
+self-starter, so I have to find– I mean, good
+luck at the Academy. That’s rough, I hear.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know anything about it? We’re just
+going up. Beginner’s luck.
+
+LAURA: We know it’s rich people that go there. We
+have to find a way to get you in.
+
+LIAM: All I know is how hard it is to get into.
+
+SAM: You don’t have a lot of money, then?
+
+LAURA: Well.
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+LAURA: We had more.
+
+MARISHA: But then we lost it, but then we got it
+back.
+
+TRAVIS: Somebody has a gambling problem.
+
+SAM: Oh. Which one?
+
+LAURA: What’s the name of it again?
+
+MATT: It is the Crick-Queen’s Call.
+
+LAURA: Have you played it?
+
+SAM: No, I haven’t.
+
+LAURA: I’ll teach you someday. It’s so much fun.
+
+SAM: It’s a game?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+SAM: Cards? All right. I might like to know that.
+
+LAURA: I mean, I can teach you, if you want.
+
+SAM: Yes, I would like to know that.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll deal!
+
+SAM: Oh, right now?
+
+LAURA: Yes, sure, this will be fun.
+
+SAM: Is this okay?
+
+LIAM: Listen, I would not be sitting here if it
+were not for you. Do whatever you like.
+
+LAURA: Okay. You draw three cards. Well, I give
+you three cards. So you use 3d6.
+
+SAM: 3d6.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Got one. I’m not you. I have one of each
+dice.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Okay. So hide your roll from me, because we
+can’t know. So first you have to ante up. How much
+
+coin do you want to put in?
+
+SAM: I’m out.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: It’s all right. I will front some coin for
+you to play this game.
+
+LAURA: Oh, great! How much do you want to front
+him?
+
+LIAM: I will give you a silver piece.
+
+LAURA: A silver. Okay, this is great.
+
+SAM: Thank you, Caleb. Thank you.
+
+LIAM: Wish I had more.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Am I doing this right?
+
+MATT: So far.
+
+LAURA: Now I’m going to give us three cards, so we
+both roll, but we can’t see. That’s good. Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t say 'that’s good’.
+
+LAURA: Bluffing. How do you know I wasn’t?
+
+SAM: I’m going to try to change one of my cards.
+
+LAURA: No, wait, there’s rules!
+
+SAM: Without you seeing.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight-of-hand check.
+
+SAM: 12 plus eight, so that’s 20.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: No, he totally did it. She totally did it.
+This is really hard, Sam.
+
+LIAM: You’re only an hour and a half in.
+
+SAM: This is my only skill, guys.
+
+LAURA: But, you know, that’s my skill, too.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit.
+
+LAURA: So I’m going to try to do it as well,
+'cause that’s my skill as well.
+
+MATT: Well, first, what’d you roll for–
+
+LAURA: I did not notice him doing it.
+
+MATT: Okay, yeah, so you only get to reroll one of
+the dice.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so I’m going to try to reroll one of
+my three, too.
+
+MATT: Go ahead. So make a sleight-of-hand check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, right. Oh, shit.
+
+SAM: Do I notice her?
+
+MATT: Well, roll a perception check.
+
+SAM: Nope.
+
+LAURA: 13?
+
+SAM: No, I rolled three.
+
+LAURA: Okay. So the best hand you can get is three
+of a kind. Then, after that, it’s a straight. A
+
+high straight. Then a low straight. Then it’s if
+you get all evens, or if you get all odds, then
+
+it’s two of a kind, then it’s nothing, it’s just
+high card. Okay, but now we put in a second
+
+amount, because you can up the ante, and you get
+one more card.
+
+SAM: I’m out.
+
+LAURA: No, but wait, wait, wait. You can put in
+more money, and then I deal you a different card.
+
+You get to give a card back, and then I deal you
+another card.
+
+SAM: Should I? Caleb, do you have any more?
+
+LIAM: Because you saved my life yesterday, you may
+have one more silver piece.
+
+LAURA: One more silver. Okay, I’ll keep it low,
+too, because you’re only doing the one. So I only
+
+put in one silver, too.
+
+MATT: That’s a four-silver pot.
+
+LAURA: Yes. And now give one of your dice back,
+whichever one you don’t want, and roll it again.
+
+MATT: So you get to reroll.
+
+SAM: Okay, got it.
+
+MATT: And you get to reroll one as well.
+
+LAURA: I don’t want to reroll any. Okay. Now you
+show what you got and we’ll see who wins.
+
+SAM: I got a pair of fours.
+
+LAURA: I got three fives.
+
+SAM: I draw my shortsword.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I immediately grapple him.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check. You make an
+acrobatics check.
+
+SAM: Acrobatics? 24.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: So the female goblin draws a shortsword. You
+reach out to grab, and she slips out of your grasp
+
+and is now holding the blade at the edge of the
+table.
+
+SAM: You’re cheating. Somehow you’re cheating.
+
+LIAM: Nott, Nott, that’s fine. That’s fine. She
+won my two silver pieces. We’ll just leave it at that.
+
+SAM: I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: That’s okay. She’s very jumpy sometimes. You
+can understand; we’ve been living in the woods for
+
+a long time. Every time we come near any place
+like this, we’re attacked, jumped, followed. So I
+
+apologize on behalf of–
+
+SAM: That was stupid. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have
+done that. I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s okay. Just don’t do it again. But
+I’m sorry I took all this money from your friend.
+
+LIAM: That’s making it worse.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe you could give some of it back.
+
+LAURA: Why, though? But I won it.
+
+SAM: Your Laura is showing.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Tell you what. I’ll give you– none of it
+back, I can’t! Okay, here’s one silver back–
+
+LIAM: No, I insist.
+
+LAURA: Okay, but I insist, all the money back. All
+right, fine, it’s mine, thank you. Yay.
+
+SAM: I need another drink.
+
+LIAM: A round of Trosts for both our tables,
+please.
+
+LAURA: See? Isn’t that the most fun?
+
+SAM: It’s fun.
+
+MATT: Yorda looks over and goes, “Any preference
+of family?”
+
+LIAM: Not Baumbauch.
+
+MATT: “Von Brandt it is.”
+
+MARISHA: I’m impressed that you stuck to taking a
+guy’s money in a training game.
+
+LAURA: Right? Oh, wait, is that bad?
+
+MARISHA: Meh.
+
+LAURA: Well, I only learned last night, you guys.
+
+LIAM: What is a training game?
+
+MARISHA: Just meaning when she was teaching.
+
+LAURA: People took my money when I was learning.
+
+LIAM: It’s fine. It’s water under the bridge. It’s
+fine. It’s all right.
+
+MATT: Another round is brought to your table. You
+guys can share a solemn post-game drink amongst
+
+yourselves.
+
+LIAM: If you feel slightly worse, there’s a drink
+on me.
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez, now I’m definitely giving you your
+two silver back. Don’t worry about it, man.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: She’s just a couple of wild and crazy guys
+over here.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Have my baked goods come out yet?
+
+MATT: They have. Your meal’s been presented for a
+while now. You’ve had the opportunity to eat most
+
+of your meal.
+
+SAM: That’s real.
+
+MATT: That is actually real. That’s the power of
+imagination, Sam. That wasn’t there a second ago.
+
+TALIESIN: Bangarang!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Right there for you.
+
+MATT: So you all finish your independent meals and
+decide to continue your conversations or go about
+
+your business for the day.
+
+LAURA: I just want to go to the carnival.
+
+LIAM: That’s later tonight, though, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: If you have no other business, we can wait
+until dusk.
+
+SAM: Well, there’s that board on the wall. Has
+anything new been posted on the board?
+
+MATT: You go ahead and take a look at it. There is
+one sheet that pertains to somebody in the Hills
+
+Ward looking for folks to go ahead and do an
+extermination run near the southern portion of the
+
+Ustaloch. It looks like there’s what looks to be
+a vole infestation.
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck is a vole?
+
+MATT: It’s a small rat.
+
+LAURA: Should we do it?
+
+MARISHA: I mean, we have to kill Rodents of
+Unusual Size.
+
+SAM: That doesn’t sound interesting to me at all.
+
+TRAVIS: What else is there?
+
+MATT: Currently, it looks like there was another
+sheet that looks like most has been torn off. The
+
+rest of the board is pretty empty at the moment.
+
+LIAM: DM, did I tear that? I can’t remember.
+
+MATT: You did, yes.
+
+SAM: Wasn’t it a delivery thing?
+
+LIAM: That was what it was, yeah.
+
+MATT: It was to help move and load crates at one
+of the local breweries.
+
+SAM: Fuck that.
+
+LAURA: We’ve done that. It sucked so much.
+
+SAM: You did that?
+
+LAURA: Well, by mistake.
+
+MARISHA: We played D&D and we moved crates for
+eight hours.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: We did, yeah.
+
+MATT: Welcome to level two.
+
+SAM: We said no to that job, thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: We get bored pretty easily.
+
+MARISHA: We did, however, then gamble with the
+other workers and then Jester– yeah. Jester–
+
+LAURA: Well, I lost it, but he made so much.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe not out loud say that. Just a
+thought.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s right. We probably shouldn’t.
+We didn’t make any money.
+
+LAURA: Do you guys want company? Do you want us to
+come and hang out with you today?
+
+SAM: I don’t know about that. That sounds risky, I
+don’t know.
+
+LIAM: Do you know something? I, shockingly, think
+that’s not a bad idea.
+
+SAM: To have these weirdos with us?
+
+LAURA: I can hear you.
+
+LIAM: Yesterday was a very bad day.
+
+SAM: Yes. Well, I suppose if we surrounded
+ourselves with weirdos, then maybe it would take
+
+some of heat off of me.
+
+LIAM: Well, yes. Bottom line: can you hang with
+the goblin?
+
+LAURA: Bottom line– and I touch Nott’s shoulder,
+and I cast Blessing of the Trickster.
+
+SAM: Oh, Jesus, she’s going to kill me right now.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Any magic kills a goblin instantly. Yeah,
+instantly.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: That would be the worst character choice
+ever.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: We will mourn her. Tschuss.
+
+MATT: Okay, so there’s a slight sense of warmth
+that emanates from under her hand, and for a
+
+moment, you look over and glance instinctively,
+ready to almost draw your sword again. But it
+
+seems to quicken your reflexes. You have this
+surge of adrenaline that doesn’t quite fade.
+
+LAURA: You have advantage on all your stealth
+checks.
+
+MATT: For the next hour.
+
+SAM: Thank you. That’s very nice.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t have a problem with goblins, but
+you guys aren’t in any trouble, are you? No one’s
+
+after you?
+
+LAURA: Because she is all kinds of trouble.
+
+SAM: No one is after me!
+
+TRAVIS: Can I make an insight check?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. If you want to go ahead and try and
+lie.
+
+SAM: That’s a 14, except negative three to
+performance.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been waiting for this for so long.
+
+SAM: So 11.
+
+MATT: So, are you lying?
+
+SAM: I am lying. I am definitely on the run from
+someone.
+
+TRAVIS: Good to know.
+
+MARISHA: So. Mask. I’m just fascinated by the
+mask. Looks well-made. Did you make it?
+
+SAM: That’s a good fucking question. Did I make
+it?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I don’t make things.
+
+MATT: No, I presume– and we discussed this a
+little bit– we presume it may have been scavenged
+
+from a porcelain doll.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s cool. Cool and gross, cool and
+gross.
+
+LAURA: What’s her name? The creepy doll?
+
+TRAVIS: Annabelle.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: No, don’t say that. I don’t want to see art
+with you with Annabelle’s face.
+
+SAM: Too late.
+
+MATT: The internet’s running with that now.
+
+SAM: Check your Twitter.
+
+TRAVIS: It seems we have all day. What were your
+plans?
+
+LIAM: Not much. We were going to sample the
+different Trosts, and I wanted to maybe do some
+
+book browsing. Nothing major.
+
+LAURA: What’s a Trost?
+
+MARISHA: Brewery tour!
+
+SAM: It’s ale.
+
+LAURA: We just can’t go by the Baumbauch ale.
+
+SAM: What happened with the Baumbauchs?
+
+LIAM: There are two others to choose from, here.
+
+MARISHA: They’re who we loaded crates for, and
+then we kind of swindled their employee.
+
+TRAVIS: Didn’t leave on the best of terms.
+
+LIAM: DM, which one is the one that everybody
+knows has got the blessing of Fryda Langer?
+
+MATT: No, that is actually the Baumbauch.
+
+LIAM: Shit.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the Starosta is kind of tied with the
+Baumbauch family.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re imaginary beer snobs now.
+
+LAURA: Is that the one you need?
+
+LIAM: No, I’m just saying the one that you
+swindled, it’s got the blessing of the big cheese here.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Well. Why do you need it?
+
+LIAM: We don’t need it. It’s just pleasurable to
+have a Trost, is what they say. She kind of needs it.
+
+SAM: I need it a little bit.
+
+LAURA: You need a beer?
+
+SAM: Well, I prefer the harder stuff, but I’ll
+take what I can get at this point. Yeah, I’m
+
+sticking with this fucking accent for the next two
+years.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Laryngitis every Friday.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: So beer tour, then circus?
+
+LAURA: I’ve got to say, I miss those two people we
+ran into at the carnival.
+
+TRAVIS: I might just wait for the carnival,
+actually.
+
+MARISHA: Well, if we just montage through a beer
+tour, we’ll quickly get to the circus. To the
+
+carnival!
+
+MATT: You can totally do that.
+
+LIAM: Can we just bring my book-browsing down to a
+single roll to see if anything of use–
+
+MATT: Yeah, we can do that. We’ll say, if you guys
+decide to go ahead and travel, the five of you,
+
+you make your way through the town for the day,
+you coast around the Husseldorf family brewery,
+
+you meet Voss and June, who are the two very nice
+ladies who run the facility. The Husseldorf
+
+family. You avoid the Baumbauch, but can acquire
+Baumbauch ale from other taverns in the town, of
+
+course. And the von Brandt family brewery. All of them, as
+soon as you say 'Trost’, they correct you and say
+
+the family name. They’re very intent on getting
+rid of the name 'Trost’ as an overall, discussion
+
+of Trost-brand brews, and trying to make it their
+family name. There’s an offense, to the point
+
+where you’re like, “Oh, Jesus. I didn’t realize.”
+
+TALIESIN: Like Kleenex and tissue paper? All
+right.
+
+MATT: But you manage to get nice and sauced
+throughout the day.
+
+LIAM: I take it easy. I have one more in the first
+half of the day, and one in the second half.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I don’t have very much either.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m going to have tons.
+
+MARISHA: I get sauced.
+
+MATT: All right, well, that being the case–
+
+LIAM: –you are poisoned.
+
+MATT: No, make a constitution saving throw.
+
+SAM: Well, that was crazy. 12.
+
+MATT: 12, okay. You get a little woozy for a
+while, and as the sun begins to crawl towards the
+
+distant horizon, you do not manage to allow your
+meal to usurp your control.
+
+LAURA: Aw, it’s like Ren Faire.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Don’t remind me.
+
+MARISHA: Good times, good times.
+
+MATT: So as the day comes to a close, you’re
+fairly tipsy, you’re not fully intoxicated. For
+
+your trip, you wanted to head to the Hillsbrook
+Parchment and Binding.
+
+LIAM: Is that where I went the last time? Except
+not as myself. So I’ll go as myself.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an investigation
+check.
+
+LIAM: All right. Don’t fuck me, Vax. That is–
+
+LAURA: That’s Vax. That’s Vax’s dice.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the thing about even a light German
+accent is that when you say “Vex” and “Vax”, it’s
+
+the same shit.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: That is a 12.
+
+MATT: 12. You take the better part of 30 minutes
+or so, and you find there’s a lot of books on
+
+farming techniques. There’s a lot of books about
+how to grow, care for different types of
+
+vegetation, plants, various beasts of burden. You
+find books on the different seasons and what’s
+
+best for different types of grain and wheats. You
+manage to pull through and find a couple of books
+
+that deal with discussion of the Menagerie Coast
+that talk about what’s called the Clovis Concord.
+
+It’s more of a discussion of the political
+structure that maintains all the city-states there.
+
+LIAM: And the person who ran this place was an
+older man, right? Just sipping tea.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Sheenah, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry. You have a nice selection here.
+Do you mind if I ask– I haven’t seen any other
+
+booksellers of any kind in town. I’m not really
+looking for anything on farming, so much. Is there
+
+anywhere else I could look into?
+
+MATT: “If you’re looking for some sort of a
+library, your best bet is to go to Zadash up north.”
+
+LIAM: Zadash.
+
+MATT: “That’s where the Library of the Cobalt Soul
+resides. They have all the information you could
+
+"hope for. A bit pricey to peruse their interior,
+unless you have proper coverage, but unfortunately
+
+"if what we have isn’t what you’re looking for, I
+can’t help you.”
+
+LIAM: No, it’s a fine selection. Sorry. How much
+for this book on hoe technique?
+
+MATT: “Oh! Jamieson’s Hoedown, yes, quite. That
+will be two silver pieces.”
+
+LIAM: Oh. I’m very embarrassed, I’m sorry, I gave
+away my last two silver pieces.
+
+LAURA: No, I gave it back to you, remember?
+
+LIAM: I gave away my last two silver pieces, so.
+Maybe I can earn it back and come back later this week.
+
+MATT: “Please do. Do you want me to hold it for
+you?”
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: “What’s your name?”
+
+LIAM: My name is Caleb Widogast.
+
+MATT: “All right. I will keep it here under the
+shelf. Thank you so much.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, good day, thank you.
+
+LAURA: Is this a big shop?
+
+MATT: It’s a boutique. It’s designed almost like a
+cross. There’s two cross-sections of hallways that
+
+have books across the walls, and there’s a window
+at the end of each and then a door at the far back.
+
+LAURA: While he was talking to the shopkeeper, I’m
+going to take out as many books as I can and move
+
+them around on the shelves, and then take some of
+them and turn them around to where their binding
+
+is facing the inside.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a sleight-of-hand check.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Over the period of him searching and
+distracting this man, you have completely
+
+rearranged the interior of this bookstore, to the
+point where even in the far corner, you
+
+Ghostbusters stack them in the center of the room,
+floor-to-ceiling, with him not even noticing it.
+
+LIAM: You little fucking poltergeist.
+
+MATT: You feel confident and happy and a sensation
+of approval washes over you. All right, so.
+
+LAURA: I skip out the door.
+
+MATT: Okay. You turn around from having this
+conversation and notice the interior is not as you
+
+last saw it, and a bit of nerves begin to brew up
+under you.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin, come on.
+
+MATT: (meows) Frumpkin follows behind.
+
+LIAM: Oh yes! Matt’s got to make cat sounds now!
+
+MATT: I didn’t even think about that until now.
+God damn it. All right, so as you guys have
+
+gathered at this point, the oranges and the pinks
+of dusk begin to peek through the quite-cloudy
+
+sky, the chilled air of the coming night sky
+signalling the Crown’s Guard to begin lighting the
+
+hanging lanterns that line the streets of
+Trostenwald. A renewed energy takes the streets as
+
+the sound of a fiddle seems to creep through the
+night air.
+
+SAM: My god, Ashley’s a master fiddler, isn’t
+she?
+
+ASHLEY: Beedle-deedle.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I love how your fiddle noises were
+“beedle-deedle”.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s the sound for all instruments,
+right?
+
+SAM: Drums.
+
+LIAM: By the way, DM, can I ask– sometime in the
+entire day, when Nott was getting wasted, could I
+
+have spent an hour using Arcane Recovery to gain
+back that one spell slot I used this morning?
+
+MATT: Sure, yeah. I’ll allow that. All right.
+Folks begin to prod their heads out into the open
+
+air, curious about the source of this unusual din,
+and you find your vision capturing a small
+
+procession of flamboyantly dressed people parading
+through the central road. A lanky man of some
+
+obvious elven descent leads the pack, his long,
+ashy-brown hair curling ever-so-slightly past his
+
+mid-back, his long coat and tails knocking around
+by his skipping step. Two halfling women in purple
+
+and green bodysuits dance from side to side,
+handing flowers to children and flyers to adults,
+
+as a bald man in a neck-frilled frock coat of
+bright red, his face adorned in vibrant orange
+
+makeup to look like the setting sun behind him,
+plays the violin that you heard earlier in an
+
+upbeat, jovial manner. A tall half-orc masculine
+man with a well-groomed handlebar mustache that
+
+curves out to the side, billowing white silk shirt
+and black trousers, follows behind with a big drum
+
+slung over his shoulder, going (drumming) along with the
+fiddle. The tiefling man of lavender skin that you
+
+saw earlier walks along with a grin, juggling two
+curved scimitars as he walks in place, almost
+
+loses one and catches it, continues to go.
+Families are beginning to gather out to see this
+
+display. The two dancers part, and then a woman of
+short, fiery red hair and dark skin walking
+
+between them, lifting a small candle before–
+fwoosh! A giant burst, a gout of flame emerges
+
+from the front of her mouth, brightens the
+vicinity, and everyone collectively gasps and
+
+begins cheering and clapping as they continue the
+walk. There, to the back of it, you see the rather
+
+burly-looking pale woman, arms crossed, just
+following behind and keeping an eye like a
+
+security guard to ensure that no business gets out
+of hand. The gasps and the cheers begin to follow,
+
+and as the procession continues down its way, the
+families and civilians begin to gather and follow
+
+behind. As the last bit of the sun sets behind the
+mountain range, the torches glowing, the
+
+procession curves through the center of the Loch
+Ward to the edge of the Ustaloch itself. Through
+
+the fishing village, more folks begin to gather.
+Do you all follow?
+
+ALL: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: And I cast Blessing of the Trickster on you
+again, just in case.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: People following the parade, you see faces,
+eager for this fresh form of entertainment.
+
+Children laugh and chatter excitedly, while the
+Crown’s Guard in their familiar bronze and
+
+vermilion uniform try to maintain order between
+themselves being quite curious or visibly
+
+mistrusting of these hooligans that suddenly have
+usurped the evening air. The procession continues
+
+towards the eastern side, out along the southern
+edge of this Loch Ward, to the Ustaloch’s
+
+southern place, towards the new, completely
+constructed, large, dark blue tent. Lengthy
+
+streamers of white and silver flap with the cold
+winds from the top of the structure. As you guys
+
+walk, you watch as the horned tiefling you had
+approached earlier slowly saunters up to your
+
+side, you recognizing these individuals you had
+spoken with earlier.
+
+MARISHA: I go, Molly! Molly, hey!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it’s my favorites. Hello.
+
+LAURA: We came!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so glad you all came to see the
+show. It’s going to be great tonight.
+
+ASHLEY: (deadpan) It’s going to blow you away.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: The hype continues.
+
+ASHLEY: You’re going to love it.
+
+TALIESIN: First show of a round’s always the best.
+Without fail.
+
+MARISHA: Where are the best seats?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I’m always partial to the front.
+Then you’re right in it, if something goes wrong,
+
+it’s nothing between you and whatever terrible,
+bloody mess is going to happen. It’s just the best.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Nothing, nothing, you’re fine.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s going to be great, but before you go
+in, I do have to give you guys a pat-down, 'cause
+
+you can’t go in with any weapons.
+
+MATT: At this point, a voice rings out behind you,
+you see as the carnival master Gustav glances over
+
+your shoulder and goes, “You two, skip ahead,
+quick. We need to go ahead and set up. Looks like
+
+"we’re already having quite a few people excited to
+come here, so at the door, interior to set up.
+
+"Meet us at the front. Actually, you know what?
+You’ll be on card duty. We need a little extra
+
+"change on the side.”
+
+TALIESIN: Card duty it is.
+
+MATT: “All right. Folks, excited for your
+patronage.” As he spins around and addresses the
+
+whole crowd now and says, “Enjoy the night air.
+Walk slowly. We need just a moment to set up.” And
+
+the half-elf man bows and tips his large– it
+looks almost like a top hat that gets floppy
+
+towards the top and flops forward, and he puts it
+back on top and begins sauntering, continuing the
+
+music, but picking up their pace to get ahead of
+the crowd as they draw you all slowly towards the
+
+exterior tent. And that’s where we’re going to go
+ahead and take our break.
+
+(yelling)
+
+TRAVIS: Face is on fire.
+
+LAURA: Am I the only one going, do we really have
+to give up our weapons? I don’t feel okay with this.
+
+SAM: Ashley, I’ll do whatever you want, but if you
+take my weapons I might kill you.
+
+ASHLEY: I’d like to see you try.
+
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: All right, so. We’ll be back here in a few
+minutes. We’re going to take a quick break. We
+
+have our weekly giveaway from our friends at
+Wyrmwood. We have a white oak complete dice tower
+
+system that’s a three-piece set. That’s going to
+be given away to one of you there in the chat. The
+
+password, if I recall, is 'beginnings’. Yeah. This
+one. If you’re in the Twitch chat, if you want to
+
+be part of this, when you’re prompted there, go
+ahead and enter the word 'beginnings’ once. If you
+
+enter it more than once, you’ll get disqualified,
+so be careful with that. Otherwise, it gets this
+
+spamming spree of chaos. So the word is
+'beginnings’. When prompted, go ahead and enter
+
+that, and we’ll come back from the break with the
+winner of that. Regardless, guys, welcome to the
+
+beginning of the new campaign.
+
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: We’ll see you here in a few minutes.
+
+LIAM: Magic!
+
+LAURA: Magic!
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Guys!
+Wow!
+
+LIAM: Grenade lobbed in by Foster at the last
+second.
+
+MATT: I know. Welcome back. So, first and
+foremost, we have our winner of the white oak
+
+complete dice tower from our friends at Wyrmwood.
+The winner is GTDevoto. Congratulations. Denova
+
+will reach out to you and get your contact
+information. Everyone else, thank you for
+
+entering. We’ll have more with each future episode
+of Critical Role, thanks to our friends at
+
+Wyrmwood Gaming. Also, as a heads-up for those who
+aren’t familiar and for those who may be, we have
+
+a Tuesday aftershow of this called Talks Machina
+where our friend W. Brian Foster Esq., just mixing
+
+up all of his names– you guys know him, Brian W.
+Foster, friend of the show, is the host of the
+
+show, and he’ll be there Tuesday talking about
+this episode tonight with some of the cast. 7PM
+
+Pacific time on Tuesday. So. Anyway.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Bringing us back.
+
+TRAVIS: Bring that ass back.
+
+SAM: Five dragons swoop down.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: It’s so hackneyed. As you guys begin to
+approach the outside of this large, dark navy
+
+tent, people are being inspected and ushered
+through by the well-groomed half-orc on one side,
+
+and the pale woman, Yasha, you met for a second
+time approaching the outskirts of this carnival,
+
+with entry fees being collected by both as people
+begin to pass into this large structure. A few
+
+feet off to the side, you see a small crowd
+gathered around Mollymauk, who is sitting atop a
+
+small blanket and has cards splayed before him, a
+similar set that you saw Jester toying with
+
+earlier, and a farmer sits across from him,
+listening intently. “All right, so what can you
+
+"tell me about this here cough?”
+
+TALIESIN: How long have you had it?
+
+MATT: “Oh, going on like three, four months.”
+(coughs)
+
+TALIESIN: It looks like it’s getting better. Oh
+yes. Does it feel like it’s getting better?
+
+MATT: “Oh, right now? Yeah.”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, look at that. I would maybe
+breathe a tincture or something. Let’s– yeah,
+
+maybe you should get that looked at.
+
+MATT: “From who? What do the cards tell me?”
+
+TALIESIN: Some sort of physician, perhaps.
+
+MATT: “Right! Of course! Oh, thank you so much.”
+And he places a–
+
+TALIESIN: Platinum Dragon be with you. Thank you.
+
+MATT: Stands up. “Dear, a physician!” And he walks
+off.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: What happened to 'no sick people’?
+
+TALIESIN: This is outside the tent.
+
+MATT: Yeah, he doesn’t enter the tent. He goes off
+to the side.
+
+MARISHA: Fair.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s good to see you all here, though.
+
+LAURA: Here’s the thing. Some of us have weapons
+that we don’t want to pass away to other people,
+
+so how much of a chance is it that we could get
+through without having to do that, you know?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, you can’t see the show if you have a
+weapon on you.
+
+LAURA: Right. And we really want to see the show.
+But, you know, we are really good at security,
+
+like all of us are really strong, and we could
+fight things that came up, too, so maybe it would
+
+be best if you don’t take our weapons, and then we
+could help.
+
+MARISHA: Actually, here’s a deal. We’ll make you a
+good deal. You waive our entry fee and if anyone
+
+needs to be kicked out, or any security needs to
+happen, we’ll help you out.
+
+SAM: Like deputy bouncers?
+
+MARISHA: Like deputy bouncers.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, see, funny thing about that, though,
+is that’s my job. So.
+
+LAURA: So do you want to hire us?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+MARISHA: You would be like our boss. Have you ever
+wanted to be a boss? Like, in charge?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I am.
+
+LAURA: We could ask you for days off sometimes.
+
+MATT: A heavy greenish-grey-skinned mitt slaps
+onto Beau’s shoulder, as you glance over to see
+
+the large, well-groomed half-orc man standing
+there. “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve got it taken
+
+"care of. If you wish to pay entry, you can, but
+the rules are the rules. So sorry.”
+
+LIAM: Do they get stored in some sort of locker or
+something?
+
+ASHLEY: I hold them. And if you want, I can stand
+right next to you guys. You can keep your eye on
+
+me the whole time.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s very trustworthy.
+
+LIAM: That seems fair-ish to me.
+
+MATT: “Yasha, does that seem– all right.”
+
+MARISHA: I look at him as I take his hand off.
+What’s your name, by the by?
+
+MATT: “Bo.”
+
+MARISHA: Good name.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s funny, because your name is
+also Beau.
+
+MATT: “Really?”
+
+MARISHA: You didn’t have to– maybe let me choose
+when to tell people–
+
+MATT: “No, no, I’m curious about this. How do you
+spell your name?”
+
+MARISHA: Well, it’s short for Beauregard.
+
+MATT: “Oh, mine’s just B-O.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s unfortunate. I mean, it’s great.
+Did kids make fun– never mind.
+
+MATT: “It’s not inaccurate.” And he flicks the
+side of his mustache.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Like, is his mustache especially B.O.-y?
+Like, what? That’s really gross.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Ew. I don’t want to perceive this. I’m glad
+I didn’t roll very well.
+
+MARISHA: Can I make an insight check? Is he a
+creep or is he just–
+
+MATT: Make an insight check. Eight? Thankfully,
+you’re not in proximity enough to catch a whiff of
+
+his mustache.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Okay. Interestingly enough, he seems very
+well put-together. And he seems like he’s just
+
+fucking with you. He’s having fun, and he’s
+messing with you, and he’s just casual and
+
+competent and actually pretty well-groomed. He
+doesn’t smell. And he seems more just enjoying the
+
+discourse.
+
+MARISHA: It’s funny, see, my name’s Beau because
+my parents wanted a son.
+
+MATT: “Well. If it helps with any other confusion,
+call me the Breaker. Well, if you see the rest of
+
+"the show, perhaps you’ll see why I got my name.”
+
+LAURA: Are you in the show, too?
+
+MATT: And he cracks his arms. “I am. Towards the
+end.”
+
+TRAVIS: Now I want to see the show.
+
+MATT: “Well then. May I?” You can see now the
+crowd’s starting to queue up behind you pretty
+
+heavily. “Besides, if you’re going to enter, we’ve
+got to get through the rest of this riff-raff. Do
+
+"you wish to join in?”
+
+LIAM: I pull– all I have is a dagger, but I just
+hand it to Yasha.
+
+LAURA: Just one dagger?
+
+ASHLEY: I promise you I will give it back.
+
+LIAM: Yes, here you go.
+
+ASHLEY: I promise you I will give you all of your
+weapons back.
+
+LAURA: Pinky-swear me, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Ugh. I don’t like–
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Now we’re best friends. Here’s my
+sickle.
+
+MARISHA: I have a staff, but I also use it as a
+walking stick, so I like to keep it on me.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you not walk around without it or
+something?
+
+LAURA: She has a really bad limp.
+
+MARISHA: Sometimes I get a little twinge, a little
+disc issue.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you hand me your staff so I can
+watch this? I want to see this limp of yours.
+
+Purely for my own entertainment.
+
+MARISHA: Are you patronizing me, Mollymauk?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m hoping that you’re going to
+patronize us.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Can I keep my stick?
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: How about this? I’ll take it, and I can
+just carry you to your seat.
+
+MARISHA: Deal.
+
+LAURA: How are you carrying all of these weapons?
+
+ASHLEY: Because I’m really fucking strong.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: You. Can I give him a pat-down, because
+you’re–
+
+MATT: Sure, roll an investigation check. I’ll give
+you advantage because you’re really good at this.
+
+LIAM: I open up the coat just so she can see the
+books.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think I find anything. 12.
+
+MATT: You find two books and a modicum of change
+and nothing else on him. He’s actually pretty
+
+sparse as far as collectibles and keepsakes.
+
+ASHLEY: I just thought your chest looked rather
+square, so I wanted to see what was happening.
+
+LIAM: I’m practically concave. Is it concave or
+convex, I forget?
+
+ALL: Concave.
+
+MARISHA: Convex would be funny.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I’ll hand her my shortsword, but not my
+little crossbow.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a sleight-of-hand check to try
+and hide that.
+
+SAM: Four. Oh, wait. 12.
+
+MATT: You have advantage on that, technically,
+right? Dexterity checks?
+
+SAM: Well, did you give me dexterity or just
+stealth? How does that work?
+
+LAURA: I think it’s just stealth checks with the
+blessing.
+
+MATT: Let me double-check that real fast.
+
+ALL: Going to the book.
+
+MATT: What the heck!
+
+SAM: We’re playing First Edition, right?
+
+MATT: No, it is stealth. You’re correct. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I wish I wouldn’t have said it and
+then you could have had advantage just then, but
+
+I’m not a cheater.
+
+SAM: No, you’re not.
+
+LIAM: Out of game.
+
+MATT: You see him slowly pocketing this crossbow.
+
+ASHLEY: No, no, no. Little girl.
+
+SAM: I’m just a little girl.
+
+ASHLEY: Give me your other weapon.
+
+SAM: This is a toy for little children. All right,
+here. I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: Are you keeping track of what goes with
+what person? Because it’s a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s very good at this.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m very good.
+
+LIAM: I just drag Nott five feet over. That is two
+strikes against you. I think we should really just
+
+sort of enjoy the show tonight.
+
+SAM: All right. But what if someone attacks us?
+
+LIAM: Well, I’ll handle that for you, okay?
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Also, little girls don’t tend to tell
+people they’re little girls.
+
+SAM: This is my first time.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: When someone is a goblin in the middle of a
+town where people hate goblins–
+
+LAURA: Stop saying the word 'goblin’. People are
+going to hear you.
+
+SAM: I mean, she’s kind of right.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Technically, I dragged her away, but you
+know, D&D is funny with what is known and not.
+
+TALIESIN: I heard you over the earring.
+
+ALL: Aww.
+
+LIAM: RIP.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, I didn’t get your weapon.
+
+TRAVIS: Hah.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want to stare at me all day, or do
+you want to give me the weapon so you can go watch
+
+the show?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s an interesting choice.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not really a choice.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+MATT: What do you pull out?
+
+TRAVIS: My falchion.
+
+SAM: Your what?
+
+MATT: A falchion, a large, curved sword, emerges
+from a sheath on his back.
+
+SAM: What is that?
+
+ALL: It’s a large, curved sword.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: I twist it around a little. Play with it.
+This is nice.
+
+TALIESIN: Very nice.
+
+ASHLEY: I like it.
+
+SAM: It’s a falchion!
+
+LAURA: You’re going to hang out with us the whole
+night?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll hang out beside you so you can
+watch.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 11.
+
+MATT: 11, that’s enough. As she spins the falchion
+around, you notice that, affixed to her back, in
+
+uncharacteristically clean leather towards the
+rest of her outfit, what appears to be a
+
+slung-over sheath and a very large bladed weapon,
+larger than your falchion, affixed to her back.
+
+MARISHA: I just like how everyone says
+'falchion’.
+
+LIAM: It’s pronounced 'felching’.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pick up my cards in a very
+specific order very quickly and start stacking the deck.
+
+ASHLEY: All right, well. If you want to follow me,
+I’ll take you to your seats and I’ll stand beside
+
+you the whole time.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking lead the way.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, Jester. Before you go. Tiefling to
+tiefling, and thank you for keeping this rabble in check.
+
+LAURA: Of course, you know, they’re a lot to
+handle.
+
+TALIESIN: One on the house. And I pull two cards.
+
+LAURA: Yes? What are you telling me?
+
+TALIESIN: I pull the Moon and I pull the Shadow.
+Does this mean anything to you?
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, think about it. Put it away.
+
+ASHLEY: Beau.
+
+MATT: Both her and the half-orc turn to you.
+
+ASHLEY: Little one. I just go over and I
+fireman-style over my shoulder. Since you can’t walk.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Just carries her right in. Perfect.
+
+MARISHA: I turn back to the rest of them.
+
+TALIESIN: Such grace! Such form! Such dignity!
+
+TRAVIS: The birds are out already.
+
+MATT: At which point, the other Bo, Bo the
+Breaker, goes ahead and collects five copper from
+
+each of you as you pass through, so mark off five
+copper, except for the two of you, you guys are
+
+part of it.
+
+LAURA: If I skip around, will I be part of the
+show and then I don’t have to pay?
+
+TALIESIN: Weirdly, being part of the show means
+you strangely pay more. I’m not entirely sure how
+
+that works.
+
+LIAM: Nott, do you have five copper?
+
+SAM: For you, Caleb, I do.
+
+LIAM: No, I’m not asking. I was going to help you,
+but if you have it, you’re good.
+
+SAM: No, you’ve been spotting me all day, I’ll
+take care of both of us.
+
+ASHLEY: Mollymauk. That Jester’s adorable.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. Highly entertained.
+
+ASHLEY: I like her.
+
+TALIESIN: I do too.
+
+MATT: So, stepping into the interior of the tent,
+the rocky floor filled with grass and dirt and
+
+various flattened groundscape on the outskirts of
+the Ustaloch, you can see a thick, heavy
+
+tarp-like material hitting the very edge where the
+heavy dark blue cloth hangs from the sides of the
+
+tent you’re within. You can see where the seating is
+guided across the floor, and there, already in a
+
+very packed room, you see a few dozen townsfolk
+that have begun to gather in a semicircle. There
+
+is the entrance flap of the tent where you guys
+are walking in. As soon as you walk in, you can
+
+see a central pillar, a heavy column of wood, a
+tree that has been completely rounded off on all
+
+sides, held aloft to carry the top of the canopy
+of the tent itself. And across the way, you can
+
+see a larger flap tent that is currently closed
+that appears to be probably the performers’
+
+entrance. You can see above you four hanging
+lanterns that glow with what seems like a flicker
+
+of light, but the pattern to them is consistent,
+meaning it’s not probably natural flame. Children
+
+and people are beginning to mash around the sides,
+and the space along the edges of the interior of
+
+this tent is starting to get a little cramped.
+Where do you guide them, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Did you guys want to sit in the front
+row?
+
+SAM: That’s what we were told is the best seat in
+the house.
+
+ASHLEY: We want to sit in the front row.
+
+MATT: So there’s– if you consider a semicircle
+pattern here, there’s– if you’re entering, you
+
+can go front to the right, front to the left,
+front to the center, anywhere in between. Where
+
+would you like to be currently sitting?
+
+ASHLEY: Front and center? Or do you want to be on
+the sides?
+
+LAURA: Front and center!
+
+ASHLEY: I take them to the front and center.
+
+MATT: Front and center, okay.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to keep my hand on my meager purse
+for the evening.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: As soon as I sit down, I’m going to pull
+out my sketchbook and draw the moon and the shadow
+
+card that Molly showed me.
+
+MARISHA: As we’re walking over, I say, hey, Yasha,
+'cause I was totally on your shoulder, heard you
+
+talking about my friend, Jester.
+
+ASHLEY: Ah, shit.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t mean anything by it. I just–
+
+MARISHA: No, dude. No, she’s never mentioned a
+significant other, so, I mean.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, I’m not looking for anything, I
+just–
+
+MARISHA: Will you hold me through the show?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Like, cradle me?
+
+ASHLEY: That’s an extra charge. We do do that,
+though.
+
+MARISHA: How much?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, it’s an extra five gold pieces.
+
+MARISHA: Five gold?
+
+ASHLEY: These arms are worth a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a very swaddling hug. You’ve never
+experienced anything like it.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s the best way to see the show, if
+that’s how you want it.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give you five silver just to have
+your shrug to sit on so my butt’s not on the floor.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t take off my shrug.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry.
+
+ASHLEY: How about you just keep your money and
+I’ll put you in a chair and I’ll just watch over
+
+your weapons.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: So she places you on the ground, as there
+are no chairs.
+
+ASHLEY: On the ground, I mean, because there’s no
+chairs.
+
+LAURA: Oh, there’s no chairs? Aw. I was picturing
+benches. That’s okay.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s no benches? Oh, fuck.
+
+MATT: Where are they going to transport benches
+from place to place?
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a good point.
+
+TRAVIS: Carnival? I don’t know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Well, sorry, you have Fletching and Moondrop
+to deal with.
+
+TALIESIN: Bring a cushion from home like a regular
+person.
+
+MATT: So, as the music has died down and everyone
+begins to crowd in and whisper to themselves,
+
+eventually it begins to quiet a bit, everyone
+having their seats. The familiar sound of the
+
+fiddle begins to play, and everyone quickly gets
+quiet, down to a hush. The music seems sourceless
+
+in the interior of the tent. Everyone begins to
+look around to see where it may come from. You
+
+hear points of hushed “look"s, pointing off in
+different areas, and at the top of the tent, you
+
+see, seeming to stretch and fall, like a slow drop
+of water, the man in red you saw earlier descends
+
+from the top of the tent, but now dressed
+head-to-toe in a matching deep blue outfit and
+
+full makeup, to where he appears out of the canopy
+of the tent. He hangs from a rope by one foot,
+
+it’s wrapped around and clutched as his foot
+catches the edge. Playing his violin
+
+ever-so-slowly as he carefully descends, and then
+at the last moment releases the rope and lands on
+
+his feet, continuing the music he’s playing. He
+slowly spins as the longer-haired elf leader of
+
+the earlier parade that you saw, the one that had
+marked back briefly to your two new friends over
+
+here, enters the tent from the distant flaps, the
+performers’ entrance, his head now sporting that
+
+same tall hat, flopping backwards at the apex. He
+extends his arms, removing the hat, and takes a
+
+deep bow as the crowd begins to clap.
+
+(applause)
+
+MATT: "Ladies and gentlemen of Trostenwald, I am
+Carnival Master Gustav Fletching, and allow me to
+
+"welcome you to the Fletching and Moondrop’s
+Traveling Carnival of Curiosities.”
+
+(applause)
+
+MATT: “I ask you, each and every one of you–” You
+hear some children giggle as he makes eye contact.
+
+“–grant us your imaginations this eve but a
+trifle bit of time, and allow us to reveal a realm
+
+"of laughter, mystery, danger, and beauty. I see
+you’ve already met Desmond.” And he gestures
+
+towards the man in all blue who’s playing the
+fiddle. “He’ll be part of our story tonight, so
+
+"keep a wily eye for the shifting fool. But first,
+I tell you a tale of two sisters of the Fey.” And
+
+as Desmond slowly leaves the tent, you see two
+armored guards by where he is now have entered,
+
+two of the Crown’s Guard are stepping by the
+entrance where he walked in, watch him pass. “Lost
+
+"without form into the mazes of the underworld.
+There, where the body would break, they found a
+
+"teacher in a mystical serpent, and the gift they
+received was the ability to bend with this maze
+
+"that captured them and slither their way back to
+the surface to reclaim their place in the world.
+
+"May I present to you Mona and Yuli, the Knot
+Sisters.” As he slowly backs through the
+
+performers’ entrance, the two halfling dancers you
+saw earlier, in the full bodysuits, emerge from
+
+behind the Carnival Master as he discreetly exits.
+They sport serpentine makeup, scales affixed to
+
+the sides of their face and arms. Approaching the
+central spire, the pole that holds the tent up,
+
+one immediately leaps onto the shoulders of the
+other, bending her back a near-impossible amount,
+
+creating this humanoid sculpture that you see the
+front row cringe at the idea of the pain that
+
+would cause an average individual. But these
+halflings are very nimble and able to create
+
+almost a single form out of two bodies. Their
+rigid form becomes fluid to the eye as they move
+
+and shift to the music, the violin now sourceless
+once again, not seeing where this Desmond is
+
+placed, but they seem to move as it picks up
+speed.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) It’s like the serpent we fought,
+you guys!
+
+SAM: I was expecting more Ringling Brothers,
+actually.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Suddenly, the top one folds over and slams
+into the ground, tumbling across the center in a
+
+wild display of physical control. The two of them
+begin to tangle and wrap like two battling snakes,
+
+their bodies seemingly disconnecting from the
+rigid halfling forms you had seen, and you swear,
+
+for a moment, becoming serpentine-like as they
+intertwine around the base of this pole. It’s
+
+beautiful and violent at the same time. It’s
+off-putting. And watch as they curl around the
+
+base of this pole, the lights above begin to
+become a dull greenish-blue, and get darker and
+
+darker, presenting this imagery of the underworld.
+One by one, they silently tell a tale of struggle,
+
+crawling across one, then the other, one at a
+time, using their serpentine-like forms as an
+
+extending ladder, folding over each other as they
+use every muscle in their body to cling around
+
+this pole and ladder-step up like a snake. It’s a
+very strange but alluring sight, and you can’t
+
+help but notice that you forget that these are two
+halfling girls, and you find yourself pulled into
+
+this wordless story they tell of climbing back to
+their place, to the surface, towards the dark sky
+
+of lightless blue cloth. As the baubles that
+contain the interior light of the tent begin to
+
+glow brighter and brighter, their climbing becomes
+more fevered. The two of them, arm into arm, leg
+
+into leg, rolling up and swirling, until
+eventually at the apex they grab each other’s arms
+
+around the pole before spinning downward,
+back-to-back, legs outward, with a rapid pace, the
+
+music coming to a full crescendo. Like a Maypole,
+they both curl and twirl and then tumble to the
+
+ground before the audience with a flourish, arms
+in the air, and the audience erupts in applause.
+
+(applause)
+
+MATT: As they both begin to back away, smiles on
+their faces, nodding to each other, Gustav emerges
+
+once more from the performers’ flap. The fool
+appears at the back entrance again, taking an
+
+ominous tune with his violin this time, his outfit
+no longer blue but deepset black. The hanging
+
+lights darken once again as Gustav takes the
+center stage. “In a flash, beyond the ash, the
+
+"gods all went and gone. The darkness came to
+grasp, reclaim, and suffocate the dawn.” Suddenly,
+
+out of the darkness behind him, a burst of flame
+lights the room. “But from that night, a burning
+
+"light doth keep back shadows’ bane. The strength
+to fight will set alight the morning sun again.
+
+"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Ornna the
+fire fairy.” And Gustav leaves the tent once more.
+
+As you watch, a pair of metallic fans, alight with
+flame, now frame the beautiful woman of short red
+
+hair you had seen before in the procession. Gustav
+slinks into the darkness and vanishes as Ornna
+
+spins in hypnotic twirl, her simple dress of golds
+and reds almost glowing in the firelight around
+
+her, the flickering of the flames giving her the
+visage of a warrior-goddess battling the dark that
+
+surrounds. The frenzied fiddle of the fool picks
+up as she twirls the fans in her grasp, her face
+
+stoic and graceful simultaneously. The hushed awe
+of the audience fills the air, watching this
+
+magnificent warrior strike at the shadows, the
+lights above flickering brighter with each spin
+
+and dive, banishing the shadows from the room. She
+matches the pace of the music, drawing to a
+
+crescendo, and leaps, and barrel-turns and
+climaxes with her striking a powerful pose as the
+
+lights rocket to a victorious luminescence. Once
+again, the crowd goes crazy.
+
+(applause)
+
+LAURA: This is really different than most
+carnivals that I’ve gone to.
+
+SAM: It’s very artistic, yeah.
+
+MATT: Gustav enters as she exits with a bow, the
+fans flickering out. He enters clapping at Ornna. A
+
+low drumbeat begins to beat in the distance as the
+fiddle grows tense once more. “Even as the sun
+
+"would rise anew, bellowing roars will quake the
+lands of Xhorhas and beyond. Terrible beasts, now
+
+"freed from their dark masters, scattered into our
+world.” (roars) A terrible, guttural roar shakes
+
+the room, followed by the sounds of grinding and
+dragged chains. From behind the performers’ flap,
+
+the half-orc, Bo, who you’d met earlier, the
+Breaker, and the fool, who is now still playing
+
+the fiddle, yet the bow of it continues to go on
+its own as he drags the other chain with his arm,
+
+wrapped around his forearm. The two of them pull
+something through the flap. It swells, and from
+
+beneath it is revealed an enormous creature of
+green scales, slimy-looking skin, and a corpulent
+
+form, large toad-like legs frame a rotund torso,
+and muscular arms that are manacled and pulling
+
+him in. It fights and wrestles against the taut
+chains as it’s pulled further and further towards
+
+the center of the tent, but is held in place by
+the two men. It roars a second time. (roars) The
+
+front row immediately pulling back and screaming.
+You hear kids begin to cry. A handful of townsfolk
+
+shoot to their feet, grasping the children in
+fear, preparing to run.
+
+LAURA: Have we ever seen anything like this
+before?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, what’s it look like?
+
+LAURA: Well, he just described what it looked
+like.
+
+MARISHA: By name.
+
+MATT: You have not seen this creature. Gustav
+continues, seemingly unflinched by its approach.
+
+“The devil-toad crawls hungrily–”
+
+SAM: But what does it look like?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “–into the land of the free folk, lording
+over nightmares as they say, and what truth lies
+
+"behind the eyes of this beast? What would be
+learned when the guiding heart of innocence
+
+"pierces the hateful soul and brings it to see
+beauty for the first time? I present to you the
+
+"vivid voice of Toya.” And as Gustav backs away,
+the devil-toad struggling against the chains, a
+
+soft, faint voice begins to slowly emanate from
+the air–
+
+(a voice appears in the background music)
+
+(exclamations)
+
+MATT: Eyes previously locked on the frightening
+creature now seek a source and find, atop a
+
+platform within the chamber, high up on a small
+platform set against the apex of the pole, a young
+
+dwarven girl, maybe 12 years of age, her braided
+golden hair clasped and her hands at her side, a
+
+white dress obscuring her feet. She sings with a
+mystifying, mature voice that pierces your hearts
+
+with joy, unexpectedly and uncontrollably. The
+crowd audibly gasps as one, the entrancing song of
+
+this girl bringing every person into this music.
+The devil-toad stops struggling against the
+
+chains, seemingly caught by the sound of her
+voice. Its face drops into a soft smile as it
+
+slowly walks towards the base of the pole and
+sits. The half-orc and the fool drop the chains and
+
+back away, leaving the beast free in its rapture.
+Her voice almost begins to summon a chorus from
+
+the ether, magical in nature, as there are no
+others but her joining into this piece. Her smile
+
+is infectious, and you can’t tear your eyes away.
+You only now realize the tears down your cheeks,
+
+but you cannot break your gaze. From the front row
+of the audience, on the left, a man stands up, his
+
+arms outstretched towards her. His dirtied cloak
+falls away, his face and skin wracked with age.
+
+You see his legs shaking as he stands, his cheeks
+wet with tears. He shouts (exclaims). His arms
+
+drop and clutch his chest. Gurgles a burst of vocal pain
+once more, and folks nearest to him begin to lean
+
+away as he begins to shake. You glance over as the
+old man yells out once more, as the skin on his
+
+arms suddenly begins to tear, the bones splitting
+from the flesh, writhing, cracking. Dust and blood
+
+shake from his wounds as his form swells. Screams
+begin to ring out from the audience around him,
+
+people rising up and running for the exit. Chaos
+breaks into the room around you. Toya’s song
+
+abruptly ends, the little girl looking down with
+fright in her eyes, the devil-toad glancing about
+
+worriedly, the half-orc and the fool rushing up
+beside him to look at the transforming man. The
+
+half-orc yells, escorting patrons to the exit,
+“Everyone! Leave the tent now! Kylre–” As he
+
+points to the devil-toad. “–get her to safety.”
+The devil-toad glances up and leaps with a sudden
+
+gust of strength to the top and grabs the center
+pole of the room as it begins to almost quiver to
+
+his weight. He grabs the little girl safely under
+his arm and leaps back down. What are you all doing?
+
+LAURA: I invoke Duplicity.
+
+MATT: You watch as her form suddenly dissipates
+into multiple seemingly copies of her form as
+
+Jester.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha? We’re going to need those weapons
+back.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Mollymauk and go, man, I
+thought it was kind of lame at first, but this is
+
+awesome!
+
+TALIESIN: Everyone get out right now.
+
+MARISHA: This isn’t part of the show?
+
+TRAVIS: Not part of the show.
+
+SAM: It’s too artsy.
+
+MATT: The old man’s body stops quaking, his flesh
+now grey and mangled like an ancient tree trunk.
+
+He turns, his eyes blood-red and bulging, his lips
+curled into a horrifying grimace. The two Crown’s
+
+Guard begin to try and make their way through the
+panicked crowd, but the people, like a wave of
+
+chaos, are keeping them at bay. I need everyone to
+roll initiative.
+
+(yelling)
+
+LIAM: The miniatures come out, guys!
+
+TRAVIS: First map!
+
+(yelling)
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a natural one.
+
+SAM: That bodes well.
+
+MATT: So you guys, this guy is actually over here.
+You guys are all up here in the front.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, we were right in the fucking front
+row. Look at us! We’re so cute!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, it’s so pretty.
+
+SAM: We’re all going to die.
+
+LIAM: Probably. But then the third campaign
+begins.
+
+LAURA: Yay.
+
+SAM: I like the tents and donkeys outside.
+Amazing.
+
+MARISHA: Look, Taliesin, it’s a bardo. Oh my god!
+
+TALIESIN: No, go for it. Oh boy.
+
+MATT: All right, so. 20 to 15?
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: Oh, wait, 22.
+
+MATT: Nice. 15 to ten?
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+TRAVIS: 12.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+LIAM: 11.
+
+MATT: So 13 and then ten and ten? Sorry, 12. So
+Yasha got 13, then we have Fjord. And then 11. And
+
+then we have Nott at ten. And what’d you get?
+
+MARISHA: Five. Rolled terribly.
+
+MATT: There we go. Okay, so. Top of the round, as
+this creature turns and glares about in the area,
+
+this swollen form over here to the side, that’s
+what remains of the old man who had stood up in
+
+the center of the chamber. Jester, you’re up
+first.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Well, I’m just going to go for it,
+all right? I’m going to cast Guiding Bolt on the
+
+monster that just appeared.
+
+MATT: Okay, as it turns towards you. It’s a saving
+throw, correct?
+
+LAURA: Let’s find out. You make a ranged spell
+attack.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll on that.
+
+LAURA: Okay, okay.
+
+SAM: Magic, you’re using magic.
+
+LAURA: Well, it’s cocked. It was 20 and then it
+rolled.
+
+SAM: You said cocked.
+
+LIAM: You’re a cock.
+
+LAURA: That’s 11 plus– what do I add to my–
+Guiding Bolt, plus five. So 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Yay. 4d6.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you’re almost on deck.
+
+LAURA: Ten, 16, 18, and then any attacks in the
+future– the next attack has advantage.
+
+MATT: How much damage was that? 2d6, 18?
+
+SAM: 4d6, you said.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it was 4d6 radiant damage. So yeah,
+it was 18. And then I’m going to run the opposite
+
+direction away from him, but I’m going to keep my
+duplicate up there.
+
+MATT: Okay, which, for your duplicate, I should
+go ahead and grab something.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you’ve got toys.
+
+LAURA: That backpack’s almost as big as my dice
+bag.
+
+MATT: Almost. I was like, that’s right, you can do
+this, so I need to pull out– we’ll say for the
+
+purposes of this, you’re– we’ll put you– this
+will be your duplicate, wherever you want to move
+
+it from where you are, so she moves there.
+
+LAURA: So she’s going to stay here. I can’t reach
+that far, but. Oh, shit, sorry.
+
+MATT: Just let me know where. There?
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I didn’t realize it was–
+
+MATT: You can get there.
+
+LAURA: Okay, sounds good.
+
+MATT: Okay, so that ends your turn. At the top of
+your turn, this creature closest to one of the
+
+people nearby screaming, this young woman who’s
+trying to back away, it just turns toward her and
+
+grabs and tries to tear into her with two strikes.
+The first one, that is actually going to miss. She
+
+ducks out of the way and begins crawling across
+the ground as it goes for a second attack. That,
+
+however, does hit, it’s a 16. That’ll do it. So
+with eight points of bludgeoning damage, it
+
+reaches down and slams its fist into her chest,
+and as it does, she gives out this horrible yelp
+
+as it rips into her and begins gnawing into her
+flesh and pulls away with a mouthful of it and
+
+stands up, its eyes scanning the room for the next
+possible victim. It’s going to begin to stalk
+
+forward, coming up to that guy. All right, Yasha,
+your turn.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. How close am I to them– I want to
+give them their weapons.
+
+MATT: You’re right there. You’d have to– You’re
+pretty close to everybody. You could distribute–
+
+you could use your action to toss the weapons out
+to everybody this turn, I’ll say.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll pass my weapons out this turn.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’ll spend your action throwing
+them out to the individuals. So your shortsword
+
+and crossbow clatter to the ground, and you
+quickly scramble to grab them. Caleb’s dagger
+
+falls at his foot. Your staff gets tossed quickly
+from behind you. Your falchion meets your arm.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Falchion.
+
+MATT: All right. That ends Yasha’s turn. Fjord,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I run up with the falchion within
+melee?
+
+MATT: You actually rush through Jester’s form. You
+watch the image dissipate as you charge through it
+
+and meet up, face-to-face, with this large,
+gnarled, horrible-looking creature. What are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Ripping the falchion, can I swing it into
+the creature?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+LAURA: And you get advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: I do? Thank god, because that was a one.
+18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+SAM: It’s a real fight!
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: 11.
+
+SAM: We’ve got like a dozen hit points, we’ll be
+okay.
+
+MATT: All righty. That ends your turn? All right,
+you’re done. That brings us to Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I would like to use my movement to push as
+far into the crowd as I can.
+
+MATT: Okay, going through the crowd is–
+
+LIAM: Half-movement? That’s fine, sure. I just
+want people in front of me.
+
+MATT: Push through to about there. You end up
+pushing a kid out of the way.
+
+LIAM: That’s great. That’s exactly fine with me
+and I will pull out the diamond and cast Chromatic
+
+Orb, and I will send a ball of cold at the
+creature that Fee-ord– Fjord–
+
+MATT: All right, go ahead and make a spell
+attack.
+
+LIAM: Yes, here it comes.
+
+SAM: Watch out for Fee-ord.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: My goodness. That is a 17.
+
+MATT: 17 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Isn’t Chromatic Orb like a really strong
+spell?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MATT: There’s Prismatic Spray. Chromatic is the
+starter version.
+
+LIAM: That is nine.
+
+ALL: Nein!
+
+MATT: (German accent) All right, very well done,
+Caleb.
+
+LIAM: (thicker German accent) Now is the part
+where we dance.
+
+MATT: So as you push the child out of the way,
+turn, putting your pocketed diamond out in front
+
+of you, you focus and you watch as this beam of
+light blue energy streaks past, just barely
+
+coasting between a few heads. It slams into this
+creature, as crystals form where the
+
+wound and impact was. It cracks back into place
+where it was. End of your turn? All right. Nott,
+
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay. Having seen the beautiful dwarven–
+girl, was it? Who sang and soothed a monster
+
+earlier in the show, I’m going to attempt to sing
+and soothe this monster. So I step forward and I
+
+open my mouth, and I sing, (singing badly) And I
+will always soothe you!
+
+LAURA: Can I shoot an arrow at Nott?
+
+LIAM: He’s killing the memory of Scanlan.
+
+MARISHA: I know, can’t let that go.
+
+MATT: Make a performance check.
+
+SAM: Performance check. Ooh, it’s really good. 18,
+minus three, so that’s 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re singing out this discordant
+sound, folks nearby are covering their ears and
+
+glancing back and looking in surprise at this
+strange creature giving off this–
+
+SAM: Does it die?
+
+MATT: No. However, it now, after taking a few hits
+nearby, its red eyes– or at least one red eye
+
+slips over to look in your direction. That’s as
+much of an effect.
+
+SAM: Fuck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Do you want to move, or are you going to
+stay there?
+
+SAM: Yes, I’m going to move, and I’m going to dash
+behind somebody in the crowd, some weak-looking
+
+individual.
+
+MATT: Okay. You can get behind there. Okay. All
+right, that ends your turn?
+
+LIAM: That’s our M.O., baby!
+
+MATT: Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit, okay. To RP my tragic one on the
+first fucking battle a little bit, I’ll turn to
+
+everybody and go, guys, no, it’s part of the show.
+Molly said that people die. She was just a claque.
+
+Okay. And then I run and I’m going to tackle the
+zombie guy. Can I see if I can grapple him?
+
+MATT: You can certainly, on the first attack. Go
+for it. Make an athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: Just straight athletics. Oh god. Do I
+keep that? It’s not good.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Seven.
+
+MATT: 17. You attempt with your first strike, and
+the creature just breaks away. Its strength is far
+
+more than you imagined it would be from what was
+originally an elderly-looking frame.
+
+MARISHA: I go, oh, fuck that. I don’t know if
+that’s true, and I’m going to do a flurry of blows
+
+and do two, pop-pop. That’s unarmed, right?
+Pop-pop.
+
+MATT: That is correct.
+
+MARISHA: I do two, right?
+
+MATT: Yes, if you’re using your ki point to do
+that, yes.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, I am. So first one, it’s plus six?
+Okay. First one is 19. No, 20. First one is 20
+
+total, and then the second one is 15 total.
+
+MATT: Both hit. Roll damage for each.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Not great.
+
+SAM: What are those dice?
+
+MARISHA: They’re d4s, they’re just fancy d4s.
+Yeah. That is four, eight, 11 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Between both? Great. So after the grapple
+fails and it pushes you away, you go ahead and
+
+pull back and then leap, kick it in the chest and
+then uppercut it in the chin.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s cool.
+
+MATT: Looks back towards you. So that would be
+putting you up base-to-base with it there. All
+
+righty. Ending your turn? Okay, at that point, the
+crowd is now screaming and begins to swell and
+
+push in this direction. These folks all begin to
+run back and around this way. This crowd begins to
+
+push, the guards are trying to push forward, and they
+can only get a little ways forward to there and
+
+there. Everyone just shifts out this direction.
+
+LAURA: God, somebody’s going to get trampled.
+
+SAM: It’s really a hazard. They should have had
+more exits.
+
+LAURA: I mean, it’s a fire hazard, for sure.
+
+MATT: Caleb and Nott, I need you both to make
+dexterity saving throws.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+LIAM: Oh, pretty good. That is 17 for me.
+
+MATT: All right. You both manage to just bob and
+weave through the crowd to prevent being trampled
+
+and backing away from the chaos as people are
+pushing through. The entrance is too small for
+
+everyone to leave, and there’s now a giant
+bottleneck that’s beginning to push up as people
+
+are now screaming and trying to get out. They’re
+crying, and the chaos is just swelling into this
+
+absolute cacophony. As soon as that finishes, the
+devil-toad carrying the dwarven girl, who was
+
+given a decree, exits out back with her to get her
+to safety. These two begin to slowly back away,
+
+seeing that things seem to be handled? And the
+guards making their way in are looking scared at
+
+each other, not really knowing what to make of the
+current chaos. At that point, you watch as the
+
+woman whose chest was torn into by this creature
+suddenly–
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: –snaps up into place.
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit. Okay, we have to keep them from
+being dead.
+
+MATT: Top of the round. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Oh, god.
+
+MATT: What was your initiative again?
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten, oh, shit. That’s right, you’re with
+Nott, that’s what happened. So Molly, you go ahead
+
+and go for your turn as well. My apologies.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to yell to the back, open the
+tent wide! And I’m going to pull– how far away am I?
+
+MATT: You’re right there. You’re in the middle of
+the crowd as it’s swarming around you and Yasha.
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) I’m going to run around and see
+if I can flank that creature, if I can move
+
+towards flanking that creature with the other
+two.
+
+MATT: You can’t really flank it, but you can get
+next to it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Can I get close enough to
+take a shot?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Take a shot?
+
+SAM: You have guns?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, old habit.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: As a bonus, I’m flipping it out, and I’m
+going to activate the first sword.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you watch as Molly pulls the
+scimitar out, and as he unsheathes it, draws it
+
+across the side of his exposed chest, causing a
+little bit of blood to spill out, and as it does,
+
+he pulls the blade out, and you watch as the edge,
+suddenly, ice crystals begin to build on the outside
+
+of the blade.
+
+TALIESIN: And I’m taking a shot at the creature.
+
+SAM: Taking a shot?
+
+TALIESIN: Taking a slice.
+
+LAURA: Taking a stab.
+
+SAM: But with bullets.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not bad. That’s eight points of
+damage and one point of ice damage.
+
+MATT: Okay, so nine points of damage on the first
+strike.
+
+TALIESIN: No, that was my bonus.
+
+MATT: That was your bonus, that’s all you’ve got.
+Okay. So one strike, you cut across, and you watch
+
+as you cut this wide wound open, exposing the
+fleshy organs’ interior, but they’re frozen where
+
+the wound cut through, and it’s still holding it
+together. It’s looking like it’s starting to hurt
+
+a bit and fall apart slightly.
+
+SAM: This is the bigger monster?
+
+MARISHA: So it’s the one I’m fighting?
+
+MATT: Yes. So that ends your turn, Molly? Brings
+us to the top. So Jester, sorry, back to you.
+
+LAURA: Oh, now I’m worried. I’m worried about
+the undead. I don’t know. Well, I don’t think I
+
+would know this, so it’s okay. I’m going to say to
+the air and say, dude, are you here, because this
+
+is like the coolest shit we’ve ever seen! And then I’m
+going to cast Toll the Dead on the first zombie
+
+creature guy. And there’s a bell that tolls.
+
+MATT: Toll the Dead.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s fucking rad, dude.
+
+LAURA: He has to make a wisdom saving throw or
+take 1d12 necrotic damage.
+
+MATT: Natural one. Go ahead and roll a d12.
+
+LAURA: Oh, three. That’s lame.
+
+MATT: Three points of necrotic damage. So as this
+deep temple bell rings out in the air above, you
+
+watch as this creature who has turned and is
+beginning to just whale upon the surrounding
+
+allies that are curling at its sides, it seems to
+retract from the sound and cover its ears briefly
+
+before angrily lashing out.
+
+LAURA: And I made that sound like it was coming
+from my duplicate, and my duplicate’s going to run
+
+back a little bit and stand next to the pole.
+Yeah.
+
+MATT: Cool. Is that your turn? All right. The
+standing creature that’s now been sliced,
+
+bludgeoned, and wounded by all three of you, is
+going to go ahead and make two strikes at– roll
+
+randomly to see who it goes for. That’s going to
+be at Beauregard. It swings at you twice, both
+
+with its giant massive clawed fists, just striking
+out towards you. First one is 17 to hit?
+
+MARISHA: My armor class is 17.
+
+MATT: Nine points of bludgeoning damage as the
+first one just slams you in the chest. You feel
+
+the wind knocked out of you for a brief second.
+The second swing’s going to come at you. That’s
+
+going to be a 20 to hit.
+
+MARISHA: Yup, yup, that hits.
+
+TRAVIS: This thing’s swinging hard. Holy shit.
+
+MATT: And that’s going to be six points of
+bludgeoning damage to you.
+
+LIAM: What are you at, girl?
+
+MARISHA: Don’t worry about it. I’m bad.
+
+MATT: It slams into you once with the fist, and
+the other one grabs into your stomach, abdomen
+
+region, and the claws dig in, and its jaw unhinges
+and drops like a snake’s.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Fjord and I go, I’m not a
+claque, this show’s bullshit.
+
+MATT: The other one is going to rush over towards
+you, Mollymauk, as you’re the closest one to it,
+
+and is going to take one swing at you.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no. I’m going to use Blood
+Maladict.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re using a reaction? You don’t
+have to roll anything for it. He just has
+
+disadvantage on the strike.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s right, because I’m not
+doubling it up.
+
+MATT: That’ll do it. He rolled a 16 and then a
+four. So as it swings towards you, you watch as
+
+suddenly the reddish burning eyes of the second
+creature go black, and it goes way too wide and
+
+misses you. You easily duck out of the way of its
+first strike. As it runs past, towards you this
+
+way, you get an attack of opportunity as it leaves
+your attack range to attempt to swing around Molly
+
+for a second strike. Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits! Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. That is 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: With this brief opening as it rushes past
+Mollymauk, after its eyes go black, you watch as
+
+it stumbles, its vision ruined. With that moment,
+you swing out with your– falchion, thank you.
+
+Yeah, it’s falchion, that’s right– and strike
+across the back of its shoulder. You see what once
+
+was this beautiful young woman is now this
+swollen, horrible undead form lumbering past, and
+
+you cut a heavy chunk of meat off of its shoulder.
+It curves around and makes a second strike at you,
+
+Mollymauk. This one without advantage. That’s a
+natural 19. Yeah, that’s a 24 to hit. All right.
+
+You take eight points of bludgeoning damage, as
+the first one, you manage to move out of the way,
+
+and as you spin your scimitar around, you glance
+over just in time to have it clock you right
+
+across the jaw. Your vision blurs and doubles for
+a second. That’s going to end their turn. Yasha,
+
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: All right, Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: Can I get to the big beast? Beast number
+one? Okay, so this is the first time I’ve done
+
+this, so hopefully I won’t do this wrong.
+I would like to rage.
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to workshop it, I’ll make
+something later. For now, it’s a placeholder.
+
+Okay, I would like to rage, and reckless attack?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can reckless attack any of your
+attacks.
+
+SAM: Is that something you can do right away? That
+sounds like a later thing.
+
+ASHLEY: Is that something you do later? Okay. I
+didn’t get a practice shot at this. Okay. So I
+
+just roll.
+
+MATT: You roll at advantage.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know how to play D&D anymore! I
+just forgot how to do it.
+
+LAURA: Okay, but roll again, you have advantage.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, reckless. Okay. 17?
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+ASHLEY: I take out my beautiful greatsword.
+
+MATT: Freshly purchased. In fact, this is the
+first time it’s seen battle.
+
+ASHLEY: It is the first time it’s seen battle.
+
+SAM: Google reported a weird influx of 'falchion’
+searches.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+MATT: On the one that’s already been damaged?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. The first guy.
+
+MATT: Yeah, all right.
+
+ASHLEY: Get the fuck out of my tent!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Yeah, no, it does not make the save– it
+rolled– yeah. So as you come down with your blade
+
+and carve through its body, you watch as it curls
+back, trying to reform and hold itself, but your
+
+blow was too strong, and its zombie-ish form
+cannot maintain a cohesive hold on its form, and
+
+you watch as it just crumbles to the ground, no
+longer moving.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+MATT: Okay, that ends your turn. As you’re there,
+growling animalistically towards the creature.
+
+ASHLEY: Ooh, that feels fun.
+
+MATT: You have about five more feet of movement,
+if you wanted to move.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I’m going to go a little bit
+closer to– wait, how many more are left? Just
+
+the other one? Yeah, so I’ll get ready for the
+other one. So a little bit closer to it.
+
+MATT: All right. That ends your turn, Yasha.
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit. I’ll turn and head towards
+other tree-zombie fuck. I would like to use my
+
+bonus action to cast Hex on it.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you watch as Fjord lumbers towards
+it, his large, armored half-orc form holding the
+
+blade in his hand. Puts his hand out, and the
+shadows suddenly swirl and gather around this
+
+zombified woman’s form and cling to it, like it’s
+holding it in place. So with it now hexed, what
+
+would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: I would like to use my falchion to open it
+the fuck up.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll
+damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s 12 points of damage, plus five
+points of necrotic damage.
+
+MATT: 17 points of damage.
+
+LIAM: Level two, that’s major.
+
+MATT: So, as you rush up, after the shadows gather
+around it, it looks up to you, and it pulls back,
+
+ready to strike, and you just shake your head, and
+one large swipe of your falchion carves this giant
+
+mark across its chest. Where the cloth and flesh
+opens, you can see this blackened interior, where
+
+the muscles are trying to move, almost like worms,
+to regather and tighen. All right, that ends your
+
+turn. That brings us to Caleb.
+
+LIAM: All right, I know that it’s restricted
+movement, but I will push this way through the
+
+crowd so that I have a clearer shot, as far as I
+can, and then I will re-up with Chromatic Orb.
+
+MATT: You can push right about there. You just
+barely pull through the crowd to the front to get
+
+a clear–
+
+LAURA: Hi, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I certainly don’t want to do that. I want to
+stay in the crowd, behind people, and I will do
+
+Chromatic Orb again, but this time, I’m going to set it
+to acid, so see if it hit. Oh, that’s not good,
+
+it’s 11.
+
+MATT: 11 unfortunately does not hit. So as you
+pull it out a second time, you’re pushing through
+
+the crowd and you pull up your diamond, and right
+as you’re about to release the spell, one of the
+
+people in the crowd slams into you with her
+shoulder and you get jarred off to the side. The
+
+acid bolt of the Chromatic Orb flies off and
+actually burns a hole through the distant tent and
+
+then vanishes into the night sky.
+
+LIAM: Hope that didn’t hit anyone.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn, Caleb. Nott,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Do I have eyes on the biggie? Is Fjord right
+next to her?
+
+MATT: Fjord and Mollymauk are both next to it,
+yes.
+
+SAM: All right. I’m going to peek out behind
+whatever patron I’m next to, take out my little
+
+crossbow and just shoot a little shot.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it made of piano wire?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+LAURA: I like how every time you roll it comes
+out.
+
+SAM: It does. This is very bouncy. Okay, so 1d6,
+that’s a four, plus four is eight, plus I get
+
+sneak attack damage, 'cause I’m a rogue. Another
+four, so that’s 12. Is the creature bigger than
+
+me? I will use Fury of the Small.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: To inflict another two points of damage, so
+that’s 14 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you pull around the corner and
+release your one crossbow bolt, it hits the bottom
+
+of the chin and pokes out one of the eyes. The eye
+goes flying off into the distance as the bolt is
+
+now jammed outside of the socket. The creature
+turns, glancing your direction. It looks pretty
+
+hurt, but it’s still standing.
+
+SAM: Can I use the rest of my
+action-movement-whatever bonus to look at the
+
+patron I’m next to. Do they have any baubles or
+jewelry on them?
+
+TRAVIS: In this moment?
+
+MATT: I’ll say you can use your bonus action to
+just look. There’s nothing you can do this turn,
+
+but next turn, you could. So make a perception
+check.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s just nine.
+
+MATT: Nine? It’s hard to look. You see this what
+looks to be late-30s woman dressed in some sort of
+
+general workers’ clothing with a loose apron, and
+she’s just running and scrambling to get towards
+
+the exit. You don’t see anything of worth on her,
+unfortunately. Sorry. All right, Nott, that ends
+
+your turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m still engaged with it, right? Okay,
+I’m going to take two swipes.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you spin around. You pull your
+second scimitar out, as part of the strike, one of
+
+them encased in ice crystals. So the first
+strike– make sure you mark which one’s which.
+
+TALIESIN: Purple’s the ice. That’s– the purple is
+12 to hit?
+
+MATT: 12 just barely hits.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh. So they both hit, so that’s good.
+So that’s going to be– or all three, then, because
+
+the other one is 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: The first one is four points of damage.
+
+MATT: Four points of damage?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sorry, the magic one is six points
+plus three ice, so nine points.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage, all right.
+
+TALIESIN: The other one is four points of damage.
+
+MATT: Okay. So the first strike hits, and as the
+scimitar carves through, the body snaps and opens,
+
+and it snaps back into place, the torso locking
+back in. The second strike does how much damage?
+
+TALIESIN: Four points of damage.
+
+MATT: Yeah. The second one hits again, and you
+watch as the torso spins off. It looks like only the
+
+spinal column is holding it in place, but it’s
+managing to maintain its structure as it (snarls).
+
+That ends your turn.
+
+TALIESIN: Someone, anyone? Yep.
+
+MATT: All right, ending Mollymauk’s turn, that
+brings us to Beau.
+
+LAURA: Beau, you got this.
+
+MARISHA: In response to him, I say, I thought you
+said you didn’t let in the sick!
+
+TALIESIN: Just kill it!
+
+MARISHA: I come up and I want to do a flying
+Superman (impact).
+
+MATT: Wham! Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: First one. Okay. 16?
+
+MATT: That’ll hit. Damage.
+
+MARISHA: I had my staff– oh, I had my staff, but
+I said–
+
+LIAM: You said Superman punch, man.
+
+MARISHA: It’s fine, it’s fine. Six damage.
+
+MATT: Six points of damage. Natural 20. You watch
+as you sock it in the face and the jaw breaks and
+
+then snaps back into place. As you land, pulling
+it back, you can see some of the teeth are
+
+actually stuck in your fist as you pull back,
+they’ve broken off into your knuckles.
+
+MARISHA: I go, oh, come on. I’m going to use my
+other ki point to do flurry of blows again, and
+
+I’m going to try and punch him in the bridge with
+the remainder of his teeth.
+
+MATT: Her teeth, technically, this is the woman
+that was killed originally.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. I’ll be like, you were so pretty,
+too.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Two more strikes.
+
+MARISHA: 19 and 18. Natural. And then, okay.
+
+LAURA: That’s a really pretty dice.
+
+MARISHA: Eight, 12, 13 damage.
+
+MATT: Natural one, no. So the second punch, you
+swing wide and hit the side of the head, and the neck
+
+snaps, and it’s now stuck in a sideways position.
+As it turns, the jaw, it pulls back one of its
+
+weirdly swollen clawed hands, ready to go for that
+open wound in your gut, and as it does,
+
+how do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: First one!
+
+SAM: First blood.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll do the uppercut with the other one,
+and the one that has its teeth in it, I want to go
+
+right between the bridge of the nose and get the
+teeth right in the eyes and break the nose bridge
+
+into the brain. You know that thing? Yeah.
+
+MATT: And as you do that, you slam into its face.
+You watch as the skull caves in, the teeth
+
+piercing both of the red, bulging eyes. And with
+this horrible sucking, sighing sound, it falls
+
+onto its back, no longer moving, the shadows
+released.
+
+MARISHA: I grab my gash and fucked-up ribs and
+immediately turn over me. Can I do a perception
+
+check or an insight check on any of the
+ringleaders? On any of what was going on? The
+
+ringleader or the jester?
+
+MATT: That was your turn, unfortunately. That’s
+your turn. At this point, the current threats are
+
+down, and the crowd is screaming and rushing. The
+two members of the Crown’s Guard are rushed to the
+
+front, weapons ready, and they see both of these
+creatures bloodied and ruined across the base of
+
+this. In the midst of the chaos, one of them
+points and goes, “You, you! Stay where you are!”
+
+And you watch as the rest of the crowd slowly
+pushes through, you see as Gustav
+
+manages to make his way in. “Dear god, what’s
+happened here?” Looks over toward Bo the Breaker,
+
+the half-orc who’s now joined the rest of you.
+“Sir, I don’t know how he got in here.” And
+
+everyone looks around back at you. Bo looks at
+you, Gustav looks to you, Molly. “What happened?”
+
+TALIESIN: One of them turned. I don’t know what
+happened.
+
+LAURA: There was a sick guy! There was an old sick
+guy and he turned into a zombie! And I run over
+
+and I cast Cure Wounds on Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, thank you, man. I’m really down.
+
+LAURA: Are you sick too? Did you get hurt? Hold on
+two seconds. I’m going to cure her and then I’ll
+
+cure you too.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, have you ever seen anything like
+this happen before?
+
+ASHLEY: No. Never.
+
+LAURA: Seven points, that’s all I could cure.
+
+MARISHA: That’s amazing. That’s great.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to drop my sword.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s better for you, ten for you.
+
+MATT: Okay. At this point, the two Crown’s Guard
+that are there are trying desperately to maintain
+
+control. You can see they’re visibly shaken, and
+they glance at each other like they’re a little
+
+out of their depths at the moment. “Stay where you
+are. Don’t go anywhere.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, wherever will I go.
+
+MATT: And he turns to the one who’s in the front,
+looks to the other one who just made his way
+
+through, and goes, “Sivelmen, find someone. Bring
+the rest of the guard. Please!” “Right now, sir.”
+
+And he pushes his way towards the back as the rest
+of the crowd runs out. Now everyone in the crowd
+
+has mostly pushed out of the tent, the last few
+dregs pushing through. Children crying, people of
+
+Trostenwald just exiting out the flaps as they
+close, and you’re all standing there, weapons in
+
+your hands, wondering what to do.
+
+TRAVIS: What are the corpses doing now that
+they’ve fallen?
+
+MATT: They’re both unmoving, ruined, torn apart.
+
+LAURA: Can I search the corpse of the woman?
+
+MATT: You can. As you go to move to it, both of
+your forms merge. The Crown’s Guard goes like,
+
+“Don’t move.”
+
+LAURA: Which one?
+
+MATT: “Both? Uh.” He looks genuinely confused.
+
+LAURA: When I’m going “which one?” I make my
+second form just dart forward and start searching
+
+the body.
+
+MATT: Okay. It mimics searching a body. It’s not
+actually you. Begins rifling imaginary things out
+
+of the pockets.
+
+LAURA: Look at all the stuff that that one’s
+finding over there!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Can he turn and look and I try to search
+the other guy?
+
+MATT: Make a deception check to try and deceive
+him to glance over.
+
+LAURA: Not bad. 19?
+
+MATT: (laughs) He goes, “What, over there?” Looks
+over as you jump over quickly and begin searching
+
+through it, and you guys watch her do this, and
+there’s a clear line of sight. As soon as he turns
+
+back, he’s going to notice her rifling through the
+other corpse.
+
+ASHLEY: Is Gustav still in here?
+
+MATT: Gustav is now walking up, and he’s hands up
+in the air. “I’m terribly sorry. I– this has
+
+"never happened. I don’t know what happened. What
+happened?!”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve never seen anything like it
+before. He just– he gripped his heart and fell
+
+over and turned into that thing.
+
+ASHLEY: It was when Toya started singing.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, what’s with the dwarven girl?
+Why–
+
+TALIESIN: Nothing like this.
+
+MATT: “She’s been singing with us for over two
+years, now.”
+
+MARISHA: How’d she come to you? She’s a pretty
+young girl.
+
+MATT: “She had no family and she was singing in
+the street for change. There was an opportunity.
+
+"We seized it. We gave her a family she didn’t
+have.”
+
+TRAVIS: Put your hands down.
+
+MATT: The Crown’s Guard goes like (grunts). “It’s
+fine, just don’t move.”
+
+LAURA: Did I find anything?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: She uses a different dice for everything,
+Travis?
+
+LAURA: Shut up.
+
+SAM: Is that what I’m dealing with now?
+
+TRAVIS: You’re not even ready.
+
+LAURA: 14?
+
+MATT: You manage to rifle through the old man’s
+body, through the stringy bits of gore, and you do
+
+find three pieces of silver that are just coated
+in blood. A few moments pass. The rest of the
+
+people are gone, and it’s just this awkward quiet,
+and at this point you watch as Ornna, the fire
+
+fairy who had previously performed, walks in and
+is like, “I’m sorry. What has happened here?”
+
+LAURA: Your little dwarf girl was singing, and she
+turns people into zombies.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel that that was entirely
+coincidental. I’m really not sure that the two
+
+things were related. Something was wrong with this
+man.
+
+MARISHA: See, it’s interesting, because I would
+say the opposite. I would say it wasn’t that
+
+coincidental, because–
+
+LIAM: I would agree, it seemed to happen with
+this–
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve seen her sing dozens, hundreds of
+times. Nothing like this has ever happened. I’ve
+
+seen people sit in the front row hundreds of
+times. Nothing like this has ever happened.
+
+LIAM: Have you had the elderly or the sick in
+these tents before?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you also happen to be very explicit
+on your page that you don’t want the sick, so.
+
+TALIESIN: Gustav.
+
+MATT: At this motion, Gustav goes, “It’s generally
+just because we want to promote a space of
+
+"welcoming cleanliness. When we’re working amongst
+the outskirts of the Empire, we don’t want to
+
+"bring an element that reminds you of death and–”
+
+SAM: You hate old people so much.
+
+MATT: “Well, we’re in entertainment. We have to be
+cautious.” The single Crown’s Guard guy who’s
+
+sitting there with his weapon out, you can see him
+shaking almost, he’s never had to deal with
+
+anyting like this before.
+
+TALIESIN: Hold up. I’ve never seen that one
+before. He looks really suspicious.
+
+MATT: Towards him?
+
+TALIESIN: No, the guy behind him.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) He does look suspicious.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure. Eight.
+
+MATT: He goes, “Don’t try that on me. I’ve been
+doing this for over ten years.”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh wait, look at him!
+
+LAURA: I cast Thaumaturgy and make it sound like
+there’s a sound coming from behind him, too.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight-of-hand check to see if you
+can cast this spell subtly enough or not.
+
+SAM: This poor guard. Ooh!
+
+(groaning)
+
+LAURA: Natural one.
+
+MATT: As you attempt to cast this spell, a little
+bit of spittle gets caught in your windpipe, and
+
+you begin to cough uncontrollably. Yeah, it just
+falls away.
+
+LAURA: (coughing) There was some popcorn that I
+ate earlier.
+
+TRAVIS: You should know that whatever happened to
+that first man when he attacked the woman, she
+
+caught whatever he had.
+
+MATT: “And that is extremely worrying. Nobody
+touch that body.” And he looks back and sees you
+
+coughing over the corpse, and the guy’s like,
+“Don’t you touch that body! Are you sick?”
+
+LAURA: (coughing) I have bloody fingers.
+
+MATT: “Someone hold her down. If she’s sick and
+turns into one of these, I will not–”
+
+ASHLEY: She’s fine. Just calm down.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’ve already killed two of them.
+
+SAM: She’s definitely sick.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: That was cocked, unfortunately. That was a
+good one. Oh, well. 16?
+
+MATT: 16? His face goes white and he goes, “Kill
+the thing!” And rushes forward, blade held above.
+
+ASHLEY: I take out my greatsword.
+
+SAM: What, you’re going to kill a guard?
+
+ASHLEY: Stop, stop.
+
+MATT: He holds back. He turns to you and sees you
+standing a full four inches taller than him with a
+
+much larger blade, with one hand, and he goes,
+“Look, if she’s going to become one of these
+
+"things, we have to stop her now.”
+
+LAURA: Yasha will totally kill me. Don’t worry,
+you can leave.
+
+MARISHA: Jester. Jokes are great until they get
+you killed, man. She’s joking.
+
+LAURA: (weak laughter)
+
+SAM: Poor guard.
+
+MATT: Immediately rubs his eyes. You can see him,
+now that he’s closer to you, you can see he’s
+
+sweating, he’s scared, he’s generally trying the
+best he can to use whatever training he’s received
+
+to deal with a scenario he was not trained for.
+
+MARISHA: This is the King’s Guard guy?
+
+MATT: One of the Crown’s Guard. The Crown’s Guard
+are all generally hired and trained militia that
+
+are sent amongst all the cities to keep the
+peace.
+
+MARISHA: What’s your name, man?
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, he’s really shook up.
+
+SAM: Jamieson.
+
+MATT: “Flynn.”
+
+MARISHA: Flynn. How long you been doing this, you
+said ten years?
+
+MATT: “Ten years two months ago.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Happy ten year-i-versary. Yeah,
+congrats. Did you get a nice watch or like a
+
+commemorative tankard?
+
+TRAVIS: They don’t have watches yet.
+
+MARISHA: Shit. Did you get a commemorative
+tankard? Forget the watch part.
+
+MATT: “No. Don’t move.”
+
+MARISHA: I’m not moving, man. Hey. Hey, Flynn.
+Hey, man. How about first we put the swords down,
+
+because we helped? Yeah.
+
+SAM: Are any of us high charisma? 'Cause it don’t
+seem like it.
+
+MATT: At this point, the flaps at the front of the
+tent, the entranceway, fold in and you watch as
+
+one, two, three, four, six, ten Crown’s Guard
+begin filtering into the chamber. You watch as one
+
+man, the one who has his helmet off and under his
+shoulder, he’s maybe in his early 40s or so, short
+
+brown hair with patches of grey. Somewhat
+jaundiced skin. Molly, you’ve encountered this man
+
+once before when you entered the city. He
+approaches Gustav right now with a commanding
+
+voice. “I had a gut feeling that you were nothing
+but trouble when you came into our town.” Gustav
+
+turns around. “I guarantee to you, my friend, I
+have no idea–” “What happened here?” The Crown’s
+
+Guard who’s been shaken turns around and goes,
+“Sir, Flynn. There was a creature. This carnival
+
+"seemed to create some sort of terrible entity that
+killed and then created a secondary beast. I
+
+"watched it with my own eyes from the back row.”
+And the man turns back towards Gustav and the rest
+
+of you. “And who else saw that?”
+
+TRAVIS: We did.
+
+LAURA: Well, we saw an old guy turn into a zombie.
+But it’s possible that he just died because he was
+
+old, and then he had the zombie curse on him and
+just turned, you know? Because that happens a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: (deadpan) Gustav, it’s no use, we’ve
+been found out. Our terrible plot to make a zombie
+
+rampage through our carnival has been discovered.
+Whatever will we do now that we’ve been discovered
+
+for our brilliant plot to make a zombie ruin our
+circus. My god.
+
+MATT: Flynn turns to you and goes, “Put your
+weapons down or we’ll arrest you immediately!”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m literally holding nothing but my
+hands.
+
+LIAM: I mean, I’m sorry, but we’re basically a
+group of strangers. Most of us don’t know each
+
+other. We all have the same story. There was a
+show, an old man became a thing, and we helped
+
+destroy it. This one destroyed it. What more do
+you want from us?
+
+TALIESIN: It ruined our show.
+
+MATT: Flynn turns back and says, “Watchmaster,
+what should we do?” And the man with the helmet
+
+under his arm walks forward, walks to Gustav,
+gives him one look over, still a few inches
+
+shorter than him. Looks at him with a sense of
+purpose and social status that has a sense of
+
+disinterest and disrespect. “You, sir, and your
+orc, and your circus, are considered currently
+
+"under arrest. Who else belongs to your merry
+band?” He looks about the rest and Gustav goes,
+
+“The orc.” Glances back at the two of you and
+goes, “The rest of them are just purveyors of our
+
+"performances. He was just joking earlier, right?”
+Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope.
+
+MATT: “And you are also under arrest. The rest of
+you, what are your names?”
+
+LAURA: Shirley.
+
+SAM: Temple.
+
+(muffled laughter)
+
+LIAM: Caleb Widogast.
+
+MARISHA: Beau, same as him.
+
+TRAVIS: Bo.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I am Bo!
+
+TRAVIS: You pointed at me.
+
+MARISHA: I meant the NPC Bo! But it works!
+
+ASHLEY: Here’s the thing. Oh, it’s Mary by the
+way, but I think I know who might know what has
+
+happened here.
+
+MATT: “Do you? Tell me.”
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll have to go get her.
+
+MATT: “Who is this?”
+
+ASHLEY: She is the singer that made this all
+happen.
+
+MATT: “Flynn, escort this woman to retrieve this
+individual she speaks of.” Flynn nods and walks
+
+over towards you.
+
+LAURA: She’s really shy, though, and I hear she
+only talks to tieflings, so you should probably send–
+
+MATT: “Stay where you are.”
+
+LAURA: –my brother along, because he’s really good
+with that stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: Try not to stab any random people on
+your way there, Flynn. You’re doing good.
+
+MATT: “My men tell me that the rest of you helped
+destroy these fiends. Is that correct?”
+
+ALL: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Then on behalf of the Starosta, I
+appreciate your aid. But until this investigation
+
+"is complete, you are all under investigation from
+us. Where are you staying?”
+
+TRAVIS: The Nestled Nook Inn.
+
+SAM: Nested Nook.
+
+MATT: Nestled. He got it right.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit. One letter. God damn it.
+
+TRAVIS: I have an intelligence of 14. I know what
+I’m doing.
+
+MATT: “Do not leave this city unless you are told
+otherwise. Should you do so, I have your names,
+
+"and I can have the full might of the Cerberus
+Assembly track you down. You. Flynn. Free this
+
+"girl.” While you all stand in the tent, Flynn
+approaches you and walks a little bit behind you,
+
+weapon drawn but at the side. Do you lead him out
+of the tent? Okay. So you walk through the
+
+performer’s flap, and as you walk out, you can see
+backed up into the number of tents that are set
+
+up, and some of the carts, other members of the
+circus are hiding, and as soon as you exit out
+
+the front and they see you before the Crown’s
+Guard, they all immediately scatter and vanish to
+
+the nearby shadows, out of sight. The two of you
+walk out into the center, the fire crackling in a
+
+small pit off to the side. “All right, where is
+this girl you speak of?”
+
+ASHLEY: She’s in the back in the tents.
+
+MATT: “Show me.”
+
+ASHLEY: Follow me.
+
+MATT: He follows you. Which tent do you lead him
+to? Over here? Okay, there’s a larger tent, as he
+
+walks by your side, there’s the flap that’s
+slightly open.
+
+SAM: God, you could seduce him.
+
+ASHLEY: Go get her. She won’t talk to me. She’s
+too scared of me.
+
+MATT: “All right.” Gets his weapon ready and walks
+into the tent.
+
+ASHLEY: I close the tent and I take off.
+
+MATT: Okay. There’s a few moments before, in the
+distance, you hear a voice say, “The tent is
+
+"empty. What are you talking about? Hello?
+Helloooo?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And you don’t look back, and you just run
+into the darkness of night, into the Marrow Fields
+
+and disappear.
+
+SAM: But that’s so mysterious.
+
+LIAM: While that was happening, I’m close to the
+edge of the tent, and at some point I just (snap)
+
+and summoned Frumpkin. I have a 30-feet outside
+the tent, so Frumpkin’s out there.
+
+MATT: Okay. Frumpkin keeps watch. The Watchmaster,
+as you heard him notified earlier, turns to the
+
+rest of you. “So. The investigation will begin. If
+any information comes to light that could
+
+"alleviate you of the charges brought to this
+carnival, come to me and let me know. If you have
+
+"no answers before we complete this investigation,
+then I believe you all will fall into the judgment.”
+
+LAURA: Next time we don’t help. That’s what it
+comes down to.
+
+MARISHA: I know, we got paid the first time we
+helped, and then we got arrested the second time.
+
+I don’t know what lesson to learn here.
+
+SAM: Just say okay and let’s leave.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, yeah.
+
+MATT: So the guards escort you out of the tent.
+Molly, you’re stuck behind with Gustav and Bo the
+
+Breaker, with a guard of five Crown’s Guards set
+to keep watch. As the rest of you are sent to the
+
+city, the Watchmaster turns once more and says,
+“Remember, you flee, I’ll find you.”
+
+And that’s where we’ll end tonight’s session.
+
+SAM: No way! What? No! I want to keep playing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so excited, this is great.
+
+LIAM: It’s a good spot.
+
+ASHLEY: We did it, we did it.
+
+TRAVIS: Holy shit.
+
+LAURA: We have to get Molly out!
+
+SAM: (sighs) Everything’s better with Molly.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Truer words were never spoken.
+
+MATT: Well, guys, welcome to the new campaign.
+Season two, I guess.
+
+LIAM: Oh my goodness.
+
+MARISHA: It feels so weird.
+
+SAM: Look at these cool Wyrmwood cases that we
+have!
+
+MATT: Fucking Sam. I swear to god.
+
+MARISHA: I used 100% new dice. No repeats from
+Keyleth.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, totally new dice.
+
+TALIESIN: I kept the Gil die.
+
+LAURA: I used some new dice.
+
+TRAVIS: What are you talking about?
+
+LAURA: Some new dice.
+
+MATT: I used this beautiful little–
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck you.
+
+MATT: The Snitch is mine now.
+
+LIAM: Look at all the 20s Taliesin rolled
+tonight.
+
+MATT: I know. Oh man. I’m excited.
+
+SAM: Such cool characters, guys!
+
+MATT: I’m excited to see where this goes.
+
+SAM: I still don’t know what half of you guys are.
+What’s Travis?
+
+MATT: Everyone did something that revealed them
+tonight.
+
+SAM: I don’t know nothing, I don’t know how to
+play D&D.
+
+MARISHA: Should we all say in case you’re Sam and
+you don’t know?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a ballerina.
+
+MARISHA: He’s a prima.
+
+MATT: Well, guys. Happy New Year. Welcome back,
+Happy New Year to you guys. Thank you for coming
+
+along with us on this first episode of a new
+journey. Thank you, Backblaze and DnD Beyond, for
+
+being awesome sponsors partnered with us going
+forward. Thank you, Wyrmwood, for this amazing
+
+table. Thank you guys for coming along with us
+this evening for our first dive into this new
+
+venture. Hope you enjoyed it. We did.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you to our amazing crew.
+
+SAM: Thank you, Matt Mercer, for this amazing new
+campaign! Welcome to Wildemount.
+
+MATT: I’m excited.
+
+SAM: Thanks, Yev.
+
+MATT: Guys, have a wonderful evening. We’ll see
+you next week. See where this next stage in the
+
+story takes us. Ashley, I’m glad you could make it
+for this first episode.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, me too.
+
+MATT: Until then, have a wonderful night, sleep
+well, and is it Thursday yet? Good night!
+
+(cheering)
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: And welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
+
+sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+TRAVIS: Dungeons & Dragons!
+
+MATT: Or that. We also do that, I guess.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the same embarrassment that you
+feel about us; the way we’re feeling about you now.
+
+MATT: What the fuck was that?!
+
+SAM: Where we play Dungeons & Dragons!
+
+MATT: Oh my god. Welcome. We’re already loopy,
+what could possibly go wrong? So yes, welcome!
+
+Before we jump into tonight’s game, we have some
+announcements to get through real fast so hold
+
+tight for just a moment. First and foremost,
+continuing tonight’s sponsorship with our friends
+
+at D&D Beyond. Our now long-term partner. We’re
+super excited to be working with them for the
+
+foreseeable future for the time being with the
+show. Sam, you have some words, I believe.
+
+SAM: To plug our good friends at D&D Beyond, I
+need my fellow castmates to help me. Can we
+
+practice? Can you all say, “Boo”?
+
+ALL: Boo!
+
+SAM: Can you all say, “Yay”?
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: Okay, the official digital toolset for
+Critical Role is D&D Beyond.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: A great service to organize everything D&D.
+Rules, spells, character sheets, and more, all
+
+with a pesky pen and paper?
+
+ALL: Boo!
+
+SAM: No! You can access it digitally on your
+computer, mobile, or tablet.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: The cast is using D&D Beyond every week,
+except for Taliesin.
+
+ALL: Boo!
+
+SAM: Just kidding, he is!
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: I have to use both the boo and the yay or
+else it doesn’t make sense. He can do cool stuff
+
+like activate Critical Role content in his
+character builder and create a blood hunter.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: And do you think they charge an arm and a
+leg?
+
+ALL: Boo!
+
+SAM: No, they don’t!
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond is offering a discount of $10 off
+any digital book in their shop. Use code
+
+“beginnings” at checkout.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: So check them out at dndbeyond.com. Is that D
+and D Beyond?
+
+ALL: Boo!
+
+SAM: No, is that D-N-D Beyond?
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+SAM: And this spot was written by Sam Riegel.
+
+ALL: Boo!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Thank you so much, Sam. And thank you, D&D
+Beyond, for being our partners for this new
+
+campaign.
+
+LAURA: Marisha, you yay'ed, good for you!
+
+MARISHA: I did! It was a little complacent, but I
+yay'ed. I gave him one.
+
+MATT: Oh man. Talks Machina, of course, our after
+talk show about this episode will be on next
+
+Tuesday, as it is every Tuesday, after the show at
+7:00pm Pacific here on Twitch and Project Alpha,
+
+with our host Brian W. Foster. (burp) I always
+burp when I say his name. I wonder what that says
+
+about him. I don’t know why.
+
+LAURA: It’s that cabbage smell.
+
+MATT: It’s the cabbage. So check that out. Merch,
+Laura.
+
+LAURA: So, you know, we talked about those posters
+last week. They’re still in the store on
+
+pre-order. Some of them are getting shipped out
+right now, so you should be getting them soon.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+LAURA: We’re going to leave them on pre-order
+until Monday night, so if you’re watching this on
+
+YouTube after it’s been aired live, you’ve got until
+midnight to put in that order.
+
+ALL: Yay.
+
+LAURA: Then they’re going to be gone. Well, we
+might have a small overage that remains in the
+
+store. But the pre-orders will be done. You know
+what I mean. And then hey, check out that other
+
+stuff like shirts, hats, and dice. We should be
+getting some more Vox Machina d20s. I know a lot
+
+of people have been asking about them. They’re
+going to be restocked, hopefully within the next week.
+
+More will be coming soon if those sell out. You
+know how it goes.
+
+MATT: Great, thank you, Laura. Podcast. Episode
+one of this campaign is already up. So those of
+
+you following in podcast form or have friends who
+have been waiting to listen to the podcast on
+
+their commute; it is available, the first episode.
+Every Thursday morning, we’ll have the episode of
+
+the previous week available and we’ll be keeping
+those up consistently as the campaign progresses,
+
+and we also have the entire story of Vox Machina
+currently available on podcast. Makes me happy.
+
+Once again, we are firmly in support of our
+longtime charity partners, 826LA. They do awesome
+
+work teaching creative writing classes for
+children who normally wouldn’t have the
+
+opportunity to get involved. They do phenomenal
+work. I recommend that you research them and if
+
+you can, either help with a donation or actually,
+you can donate your time as well to help teach and
+
+be part of the program if one is near you. Go
+check it out.
+
+MARISHA: We were talking to one of the heads at
+826LA over the break, Joel, and he was saying that
+
+they would love to do D&D, but no one on their
+staff knows how to DM or do D&D. So if there’s an
+
+826 in your area, and you’re like, “I know, I’ll
+start a D&D club,” I’m sure they’ll be open to it,
+
+just go talk to them and go teach kids D&D!
+
+MATT: Yeah. Run a game for a bunch of cool
+teenagers and show them how awesome this game is.
+
+MARISHA: Or cool eight-year-olds who are equally
+as amazing.
+
+SAM: Or dorky eight-year-olds or teenagers.
+
+MATT: Those are the same, Sam.
+
+MARISHA: Nerd is chic now.
+
+MATT: I like to think I was always cool. No, it’s
+not true at all. I’m still trying to get there.
+
+All right, cool! Appearances. Laura and Travis
+will be at Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle,
+
+March 2nd to the 4th. If you’re up in that area,
+go over and say hi to them. I will be at Lexington
+
+Comic and Toy Con in Lexington, Kentucky March 9th
+to the 11th. As well as Otafest in Calgary up in
+
+Canada, May 18th to the 20th, and Akon in Texas,
+June 7th to the 10th.
+
+SAM: Calgary is like the Kentucky of Canada.
+
+LAURA: Is it?
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take that as a compliment.
+
+LIAM: I am also going to Bak-Anime, not to be
+confused with SacAnime, on February 3rd and 4th.
+
+TRAVIS: How do you spell that, B-A-K?
+
+LIAM: B-A-K, that’s real soon. So I’ll be there.
+
+MATT: Beautiful. And I believe–
+
+LIAM: Wait! Comic book next week. Issue four.
+Comic book.
+
+MATT: Issue four on the 24th, I believe it is?
+
+TALIESIN: By far the most fourth of all of these
+books. It’s easily the most fourth.
+
+TRAVIS: Like the blue hair.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you, this is new. Just went for
+this, it’s going to slowly darken over time.
+
+MATT: Into pure shadow.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be keyframed and
+photoshopped, I’m aware.
+
+MATT: The invitation is there, folks. Screencap and
+photoshop away.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve already been told that’s it’s going
+to happen.
+
+MATT: On that note, that concludes our
+announcements, thank you for your patience. And I
+
+believe it’s time for us to begin tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role.
+
+[80s music]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. Last we left off, our
+slowly gathering band of adventurers had begun to
+
+have their stories intertwine in the city of
+Trostenwald, on the southern reaches of western
+
+Wynandir on the continent of Wildemount. Here we
+had Nott and Caleb who had been traveling
+
+southward coming and meeting, in the center of the
+tavern, the Nestled Nook Inn, with Jester,
+
+Beauregard, and Fjord. They were invited to a
+nearby carnival that had begun preparing for their
+
+performance later that evening, in which they met
+Yasha and Molly. After swapping some stories,
+
+earning and losing some gold, they began to gather
+at the outskirts of the Ustaloch, the lake right
+
+on the eastern edge of Trostenwald, for the first
+opening performance of the Fletching and Moondrop
+
+Carnival of Curiosities.
+
+TALIESIN: Traveling Carnival of Curiosities.
+
+MATT: Upon entering the tent, they saw a number of
+performances. However, during a musical performance
+
+by this young dwarven girl whose voice was this
+mysterious, magically enchanting experience, a
+
+member of the audience rose up and began to
+transform into a terrible undead creature that
+
+began to lash out, killing another member of the
+audience, who then began to become one of these
+
+same creatures. You all, grabbing your weapons
+from Yasha, who had been keeping them stashed
+
+away, leapt into the fray, slaughtered both of
+these terrible beasts, just in time for the
+
+crownsguard to rush in and ask you what the hell
+happened. After information had been gathered of
+
+who was immediately available and responsible for
+this carnival, Gustav, Bo the Breaker, and Molly
+
+were marked to be arrested. One of the guards was
+escorted outside of the tent by Yasha, who was
+
+going to show him where this young dwarven girl
+was currently resting, and upon being led astray
+
+to the wrong tent, she just ran into the distant
+hills and vanished. And that is where we left off.
+
+SAM: So we’re still at the carnival?
+
+MATT: You’re still in the tent.
+
+LIAM: With crownsguard?
+
+MATT: With the crownsguard and with Watchmaster
+Jossyd. The crownsguard that had left naught but a
+
+moment before comes rushing in, his breath
+huffing, sweat dripping from his brow, his eyes
+
+wild. He goes, “Watchmaster! The big woman is
+gone! She’s gone!” The Watchmaster turns to him
+
+and says, “You three, go with him. Search for
+her.” They all immediately run out back out the
+
+performer’s flap and he turns to the rest of you
+in the group, “Shackle and drag those three down
+
+“to the stockade.” About five guards approach and
+begin to press Gustav, Bo, and Molly to the ground
+
+and begin to put chains and shackles on them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d like to make a counteroffer?
+
+MATT: He’s in mid-speech, “The rest of you keep an
+eye on the performers here. Ask around, see what
+
+“you can find. As for the others, don’t go far.”
+
+LAURA: The innocent patrons, you mean?
+
+MATT: “You may be innocent, in which case you have
+nothing to worry about. However, we have an
+
+"investigation to complete, so I would ask that you
+stay in the city and wait until you are called in.
+
+"You will be questioned, and when this
+investigation is completed, regardless of how long
+
+"it may take, you are not to leave Trostenwald.”
+
+LIAM: If I could just contribute one word, the 40
+or so people who are outside and the rest of us
+
+will vouch for this one, the colorful one. He
+saved many people’s lives. Don’t take my word for
+
+it. There’s everyone outside.
+
+MATT: All the rest of the crownsguard glance to
+each other, he goes, “Well, unfortunately, that is
+
+"not for me to decide. The Lawmaster would have to
+be appealed to. If you wish to come with us, we
+
+"can bring you along with us to the stockade and
+you can speak with her. Then, perhaps, she may
+
+"grant you leniency, but I can give you no
+guarantee.”
+
+MARISHA: Why don’t you just question us right now?
+I’m confused on why you don’t just do that now.
+
+MATT: “Well, we could do that instead. We’ll
+have you arrested, put you in the stockade as we
+
+"question the rest of you.”
+
+LAURA: No, let’s go to the stockade.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’ll all be in one place.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Jails are not my favored terrain. Just
+want to point that out. Not this go-around. No.
+
+TRAVIS: Good to know.
+
+LAURA: I would have guessed that about you.
+
+MARISHA: Not really comfortable with that.
+
+MATT: “We’re leaving. The rest of you, stay in here.
+Watch over the performers. Make sure nobody
+
+"leaves. Come if you wish. Otherwise, we’ll be in
+touch.” The Watchmaster gathers alongside the
+
+other five crownsguard, lifting up the shackles of
+the three that had been arrested and begin to drag
+
+them outside of the tent and into the night air.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin to follow.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Can I double back into the performance
+area and see if I can find that little girl that
+
+they’re looking for? Before they do?
+
+MATT: You may, if you want to. So you send
+Frumpkin just to follow them. You guys are staying
+
+behind, then?
+
+TRAVIS: Are there three regular crownsguard that
+are going with Molly? Or is the Watchmaster going
+
+with them as well?
+
+MATT: The Watchmaster is going with them, or at
+least he’s exiting the tent with them. It looks
+
+like there are five crownsguard attending the three
+of them that are shackled.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll go out the front exit of the tent
+just to see if the Watchmaster goes with Molly.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I’ll follow Fjord.
+
+MATT: Okay, so the two of you are following.
+Anybody with them? Currently, it’s you two and
+
+Frumpkin.
+
+SAM: Are we going with them or not? Should we stay
+here? This is not our affair, right?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. I’m having second thoughts
+about being here at all.
+
+SAM: Well, you sent the kitty, didn’t you?
+
+LIAM: Yes, and we’re not going to leave without
+him. Why don’t we just–?
+
+SAM: Follow behind a bit?
+
+LIAM: That’s right.
+
+SAM: Okay. Sounds good.
+
+MATT: All right, so as you guys exit, keeping
+a pace behind, watching the
+
+crownsguard guiding the current prisoners towards
+the actual city, Frumpkin keeping a zig-zagging
+
+distance behind and following.
+
+LIAM: DM?
+
+MATT: Yes?
+
+LIAM: Is it possible for me, if Nott is holding my
+hand and leading me, to go full third eye and walk
+
+blind and deaf here looking through Frumpkin’s
+senses?
+
+MATT: I would say yes, but you are purely like–
+because all you’re doing is walking forward and
+
+you need someone to guide you.
+
+LIAM: Right.
+
+SAM: And he can’t communicate to me either so–
+
+LIAM: I can talk, but I can’t hear you. I can talk
+and hold her hand so she can stop me from
+
+prat-falling all over myself.
+
+SAM: Yes. But you can talk?
+
+MATT: He can talk but he can’t hear you.
+
+SAM: Got it. Okay. Great.
+
+LIAM: But we’ve done this before so you know to
+squeeze my hand really hard if I should pipe down.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: All right. So, first off, Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: As you back out of the performer’s exit of
+the tent into the center of their encampment, the
+
+immediate exit, there are already four crownsguard
+currently searching around and setting up a watch
+
+perimeter around the different tents. They’re
+gathering and making sure none of the other
+
+performers have fled and a lot of them are being
+brought out into an area where there’s a number of
+
+tents all facing towards a large campfire in the
+center. There’s a couple of chairs set up there,
+
+it’s kind of the common area for the performers of
+the carnival and it looks like they’re all being
+
+put out there so they can get a bead on it and
+make sure they know where everyone else is.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try to be aloof, stealth a
+little bit. I don’t want to make myself completely known.
+
+MATT: Are you trying to stealth out of sight or
+just trying to not draw attention?
+
+MARISHA: No, just trying not to draw attention.
+
+MATT: Okay, all right. Go and make a stealth check
+just to see if–
+
+SAM: Wait, did we just all ditch Marisha?
+
+LAURA: She just walked out.
+
+MARISHA: I ditched you. That’s cocked. That’s
+better. 17.
+
+MATT: 17. Okay. As you kind of dart through the
+flap of the tent and move behind one of the large
+
+carts that currently is still affixed to a horse
+that is currently just chewing on an apple, and
+
+you hear the crunch in its teeth, you glance over
+past the edge of the immediate near tent and you
+
+can see this group gathering there and it appears
+that no one’s immediately aware of your presence.
+
+MARISHA: Do I see the little girl whose name was–
+what was her name?
+
+MATT: Toya. You do not see her yet. The guard just
+got out there and they’re just beginning to pull
+
+people out. You do see the fire dancer brought out
+there. You then see the two– Yeah, Ornna. The
+
+Knot sisters are brought out and pushed out there
+and they’re all looking very frustrated.
+
+MARISHA: Are people being amicable?
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re not shoving them around,
+they’re just calling them out to the front so they
+
+know where they are.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I want to look around. Do I see any
+type of movement in the shadows, anyone looking
+
+suspicious?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh yeah! Natural 18. 21.
+
+MATT: 21. Okay, as you glance about, you don’t see
+anything lurking in the shadows. What you do
+
+notice, though, is one of them bring Toya out of
+one of the– the tent that’s on the southern side and
+
+as he brings her out, there’s a heavy thud sound,
+and you see coming out from behind the tent the
+
+large form of– you heard the name Kylre once, but
+the “devil toad.” The obese lizard man who’s
+
+stomping up behind.
+
+LAURA: Is he a dude or is he a creature?
+
+MATT: It looks like a lizard man, so scaled,
+humanoid, but extremely thick, bulbous belly,
+
+large, almost frog-like legs–
+
+TRAVIS: Bipedal or on all fours?
+
+MATT: Due to the size of his form, mostly all
+fours and lumbering forward on all of them but
+
+sits back on a bipedal situation.
+
+MARISHA: So they’re bringing the both of them out?
+
+MATT: The toad is hiding behind the tent and as
+soon as Toya comes out, comes up to the guard and
+
+puffs up its chest. The guard spins around and
+goes for the blade and pulls it out just carefully.
+
+MARISHA: Am I still next to that horse?
+
+MATT: The horse is currently still up on the cart,
+but is about 30 feet from you.
+
+SAM: Beast Shape!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take my staff and give a
+really nice whack to the horse to get it to run.
+
+MATT: You know what? Let’s go ahead and make an
+animal handling check on that.
+
+SAM: We never get to make those!
+
+LIAM: First of the show!
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, I’m so nervous right now.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re good, you’re good, you’re good.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not great. 11?
+
+MATT: 11 will do. It wasn’t a hard DC, but it was
+more knowing where to hit it to where it would
+
+cause it to bolt versus just get angry.
+
+MARISHA: Get pissed, sure, kick me.
+
+MATT: So going for– not to actually hurt the
+creature but just enough to spook it, you hit it
+
+in the right place towards the back of its
+hindquarters to cause it to suddenly rear up
+
+(neighs) (cart clattering noise) and go into a
+sprint. The cart begins to bounce and smash onto
+
+the ground. You can see the wheels clattering into
+the rocks and the stone between the bits of–
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to bolt in the opposite direction and
+try and loop around to the south side of the tent.
+
+MATT: Make another stealth check, please.
+
+MARISHA: Big dice, big dice. Okay, 19!
+
+MATT: Okay. You dart around the north side of
+these tents and you’re pretty sure you weren’t
+
+seen. As the cart begins to bolt off behind this
+horse, you see all the crownsguard turn. The one
+
+that was currently staring at the devil toad
+glances off to the side. As he glances off, the
+
+devil toad takes Toya and just pulls her to him
+protectively and the guard puts his sword away.
+
+“Check!” Points to them and then bolts off to go
+after the horse. The other three stay, watching
+
+over the group.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, can I loop around, kind of come up
+behind them?
+
+MATT: I mean, they’re scattered a bit but
+there’s–
+
+MARISHA: The devil toad and Toya.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah. Make another stealth check. You’re
+running through open areas each time you’re doing this.
+
+MARISHA: Yep. (yells) Did you see that?! It leaned
+to a four. Ten.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a bastard die right there.
+
+MARISHA: That sucked.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a tease.
+
+MARISHA: Laura, put him in the dice jail.
+
+LAURA: I don’t have my dice jail out yet. It’s
+okay, he’ll chill there.
+
+MATT: As you come up around the back of the devil
+toad, the guard that runs past doesn’t immediately
+
+notice you because he’s focused on where this cart
+is running off and you can see another guard that
+
+was far away from this encampment that’s circling
+back with him. The two of them are now bolting in
+
+the direction as the cart begins to slow. It’s not
+just going forward forever but it spooked him and
+
+it’s starting to slow down. They’re just going to
+inspect it. However, as you slink up behind, the
+
+devil toad’s head curls back towards you and you
+hear this deep, guttural (growls).
+
+MARISHA: “Okay. It’s okay. Toya?” And I look at
+Toya. “Hey, come on, let’s get out of here, let’s go.”
+
+MATT: At which point a voice says, “Excuse me?!”
+
+And you can see the three guards are there
+staring at you.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. You didn’t say there were fucking
+guards.
+
+MATT: I did say there were three guards. The three
+guards watching them.
+
+MARISHA: I thought you said they left.
+
+MATT: One of them left.
+
+MARISHA: One of them left. So wait. Oh shit.
+
+MATT: It’s a bad stealth check, I’m sorry. But
+there’s now three crownsguard right there and
+
+they’re like, “Can I help you?”
+
+TRAVIS: Time to go to jail.
+
+LAURA: Oh, this is so exciting.
+
+SAM: Kill them all.
+
+MARISHA: Ey! I was actually just looking for the
+loo?
+
+MATT: The guard that’s closest to you glances to
+the other guys and goes, “She was with the group,
+
+"right?” They recognize you, and they look at each
+other. “You’re going to the stockade, my dear.”
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+MATT: The three guards slowly approach and they
+begin to take out chains and manacle you up.
+
+SAM: In an effort not to go to jail, you went to
+the jail.
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying to get the girl. I was trying
+to free the damn girl.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ll be fine.
+
+MATT: So you’re shackled and begin to be dragged
+toward the stockade.
+
+MARISHA: It’s just the two guards, right?
+
+MATT: It’s the two guards now. As you’re being
+brought back, you can see more guards are coming
+
+from the city to the carnival. They’re keeping it
+under surveillance.
+
+MARISHA: So are they taking me away?
+
+MATT: They’re taking you to the city, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What are they doing with Toya? Anything?
+Are they leaving them behind?
+
+MATT: They’re leaving them behind currently with
+the guards that are there. They’re not arresting
+
+anybody from the carnival, but they’re not letting
+them leave. But they’re keeping them there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to do a quick–
+
+SAM: Kill them all.
+
+MARISHA: I’m in shackles?
+
+MATT: You are.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to do some monk shit
+here. I’m going to elbow one of the guards. Right
+
+in the ribs. And take the other one and bash the
+other one in the face and then I’m going to turn
+
+to Toya and I’m going to say, “Run! Run! Go! Run!”
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and–
+
+SAM: Make all kinds of rolls.
+
+MATT: First, go ahead and make an athletics check.
+
+MARISHA and SAM: This is a terrible idea.
+
+LAURA: To not drag any attention towards her, you
+are completely shoving her into the limelight.
+
+MARISHA: Trying to distract these fucking
+assholes. That is a six. Ten.
+
+MATT: As you go back to elbow, you get halfway
+there before your chains go taut. They’re both
+
+holding the chain at each side, and you see the
+tension of it; you can’t even get him from behind.
+
+You imagine in your head; you go over it two or
+three times. As you go through the first step–
+
+(grunt) doesn’t go anywhere.
+
+TRAVIS: Tried to do the Sherlock Holmes.
+
+MARISHA: Do I at least get the “Run!” out to
+Toya?
+
+MATT: No. I’m sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Is she just standing there? Waiting for a
+guard?
+
+TRAVIS: She sees you having a seizure in the
+chains.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: What is she doing? Is she running?
+
+MATT: No. Honestly, the devil toad and her seem
+pretty close. He is grabbing her in a protective manner.
+
+MARISHA: No, they can both run. Run for your life!
+Fine, whatever. She wants to get arrested at this point.
+
+MATT: Two bad rolls in a row. I know. Level two.
+
+MARISHA: I go join my friends.
+
+MATT: You will shortly. Ahead of her, along the
+way, Gustav is just quiet. Bo the Breaker, Bosun,
+
+as you know him by his full name, is grumbling
+under his breath and is trying to out-loud piece
+
+together thoughts on what may have what
+transpired, saying things like, “I don’t know, you
+
+"think it’s done on the inside? Or is this somebody
+trying to sabotage it?”
+
+TALIESIN: I think maybe it has nothing to do with
+us. I think maybe we were just caught in the crossfire.
+
+MATT: It is quite possible.
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry, sir. Trying to keep my mouth
+shut.
+
+MATT: One of the guards tugs on both of your
+chains and says, “Quiet now! Save it for the
+
+"lawmaster.” They bring you in– you go in through
+the Lochward into the Hillsward, which is the
+
+southern portion of Trostenwald. You are brought
+to the outside of the stockade, which is a large
+
+single-story, tall, rectangular building of large
+stones and masonry. It’s built for function. It’s
+
+not a very beautiful building, but it’s
+defensible and it seems fairly well-made. However,
+
+there are the banners of the crownsguard marking
+the double-door entrance. As you’re brought
+
+within, you can already see there are two central
+chairs where two current watch sit, just watching
+
+the front door. Beyond the right, you see, is an
+office that you guys are dragged to– and the rest
+
+of you eventually catch up to the group. You are all
+brought inside this darkened office. Inside,
+
+relatively simple. This isn’t a library-type study
+office. This is very much for function. There’s a
+
+couple of small crates that contain materials that
+are too far in shadow to see the details of it.
+
+Look to be pieces of paper, probably gathered
+evidence or weapons that have been reclaimed.
+
+There is a stone desk on the far end, and there,
+within this office, already accompanied by a
+
+messenger dressed for immediate travel, is a tough-looking
+dwarven woman in her middle years rapidly
+
+scrawling on parchment. Her black hair is streaked
+with silver, tumbling past her red and gray
+
+leather armor. She finishes writing on this
+parchment, rolls it up, and hands it to the
+
+messenger who immediately darts out of the room
+without a word past you guys, giving you a brief
+
+look as he continues on whatever his business is.
+As soon as your eyes pass off the messenger, you
+
+hear a loud slam, and you glance back. She’s put
+her hands on the table. She glances up, “All
+
+"right, what riff-raff have you brought in to me
+this day?” The watchmaster takes the chains of the
+
+three of you and pulls you to the front of the
+group and says, “Sorry to be a bother, but we have
+
+"three individuals arrested in connection with, as
+you have heard so far, the deaths at the carnival
+
+"performance this evening.” She rolls her eyes.
+“All right, bring them forward.” They go ahead and
+
+pull the chains up. The watchmaster bows his head
+and then leaves the room. She steps forward and
+
+goes, “I am Norda. It is my job to keep this city
+safe and keep shite like what happened tonight
+
+"from happening. I approved your second time on the
+outskirts of our town and you have killed two of
+
+"my people. What have you to say about yourselves?”
+
+TALIESIN: Exactly how did we kill them, exactly?
+
+MATT: She glances over at you. Glances over at
+Gustav, “I have been told by my guard that you
+
+"gave performance, and as part of this performance
+you released two beasts into the midst of the
+
+"population.”
+
+LAURA: Well, technically, he wasn’t part of the
+performance, technically he was saving everyone.
+
+Technically.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. Yes, you see–
+
+MATT: Gustav interrupts you and says, “I’m so
+sorry, my liege. Please, I take full
+
+"responsibility for what happened this evening on
+myself. These people around me had nothing to do
+
+"with this. They are not part of the carnival, they
+were just merely helping. It is my carnival, and
+
+"whatever judgement there lies, I take upon myself
+and my head.” At which point Bo the half-orc steps
+
+forward, against his chains and goes, “Gustav,
+what are you doing?” He’s like, “Shut. Up. Please,
+
+whatever judgement there is, put it upon me,” and
+he bows his head low. “Is that the case? Is he the
+
+"only one?” She takes a good, hard look at you and
+Bo the Breaker.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, are you waiting for me to speak?
+Yes, he’s the only one.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20. About fucking time, you
+little shit!
+
+MATT: She gives you a look. Looks over at Bo the
+Breaker. Shakes her head. “Keep these two
+
+downstairs. This one let go. He seems to be free.
+We’ll be talking to you very soon.” At which
+
+point, the crownsguard drag the chains back and
+Gustav gives you a quick look under his eye and
+
+goes– as they’re pulled out of the room, out of
+sight. She glances to you, “Well, you’re out of
+
+chains! That’s great. Doesn’t mean you’re absolved
+of the investigation. So, where are you staying?
+
+You and your compatriots?”
+
+LAURA: Well, technically we just all met,
+technically.
+
+MATT: “Well, technically, as far as I’m concerned,
+you’re all together as part of this
+
+investigation.”
+
+LAURA: We’re a group you guys!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “So we’re going to have our investigators
+come to wherever you’re staying, which–,” and she
+
+looks down at some papers here, “– looks to be
+the Nestled Nook?”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s correct.
+
+MATT: “All right. Don’t leave the city. We’ll be
+in touch.”
+
+LAURA: Great, I really like it here so that’s good
+that we get to stay so long.
+
+MATT: “Do you have something to say?”
+
+TALIESIN: No. Just shocked to see someone die in
+front of me not more than–
+
+TRAVIS: I can assure you, we’re here to cause no
+trouble. We will be as compliant as we possibly
+
+can be.
+
+MATT: “Good. Dismissed!” She claps the edge of the
+table. The remaining crownsguard, who’s left there
+
+to keep watch, escorts you out off the stockade,
+escorts you onto the street.
+
+LAURA: Her accent is really strong! It’s hard to
+not match her accent!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the one accent that I really have
+trouble with.
+
+TRAVIS: Would you call it infectious?
+
+TALIESIN: Bastard.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: The one that we know is a problem.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to call my cat back to me and I
+drop the telepathy and I just start tugging you
+
+back to the Nestled Nook. Come on, we have to talk
+about this. We have to decide what we’re going to do.
+
+SAM: Right away.
+
+TRAVIS: Excuse me–
+
+LAURA: They’re not with us.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I thought you were right behind us.
+
+LIAM: My cat was in there, but not I.
+
+MATT: Yeah, but you’d have to stay within 100 feet
+to maintain that.
+
+LIAM: Well, we would’ve walked up to the building,
+the cat would’ve scurried around, if possible. So
+
+I’d like to think that I heard all that, which is
+why just I said all the things I did.
+
+MATT: You did hear all that. Okay, and I’d say, as
+they’re making their way out, you can probably
+
+duck around without them seeing you as they left.
+Yeah, you can do that. So, you guys are jettisoned
+
+into the street. It’s now probably just past
+midnight.
+
+TRAVIS: Mollymauk, I don’t mean to pry into your
+business, but has this ever happened to you
+
+before?
+
+TALIESIN: This has never– anything like this has
+ever happened before. And thank you. For the
+
+record, I don’t owe any of you anything–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I don’t know about that.
+
+TALIESIN: –I swear, but thank you, and I’m ready
+to help with this.
+
+LAURA: Do you think it was the little girl?
+
+TALIESIN: No! That’s an act, that’s not anything.
+It’s just a show!
+
+TRAVIS: Right, the large toad that was with the
+girl, what’s the story there?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s nothing special, it’s just a guy
+making a buck, all right? He’s fine!
+
+MATT: You hear the footfalls of guards approach
+and the rattle of chains as you see Beauregard–
+
+TALIESIN: By the way, where’s the obnoxious one?
+The really loud–
+
+MATT: As opposed the rest of you who are gingerly
+brought up, you see Beauregard being pulled
+
+forward but now the chains around her are being
+pulled taught on two sides. She’s being brought
+
+forward like a wild animal almost.
+
+MATT: And she’s just being led towards the
+stockade.
+
+MARISHA: Help.
+
+LAURA: What happened?
+
+MARISHA: Help. Help help help. Help help. Help
+help help.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Help. I’m with you, I’m with you. Help
+help.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I thought you didn’t like jails.
+
+MARISHA: (clears throat) Help.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this part of the show by the way? I
+was just curious.
+
+TRAVIS: Unfortunately, no.
+
+MATT: Which is the last thing you see as she is
+yanked into the stockade and out of sight.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to be very helpful and not go
+in there with the two of you while you try and get
+
+her out.
+
+LAURA: So should we go in and try to get her out?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, yeah!
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll stand guard.
+
+LAURA: We’ll follow her in.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t. Leave.
+
+TALIESIN: I have nowhere to go.
+
+MATT: You walk in behind her. You watch her being
+pulled to the stairs. She’s bypassing the office
+
+of the Lawmaster right now and is being brought to
+incarceration before being questioned. They bring
+
+her to the stairs and a torch-lit, subterranean
+basement area. As you begin to approach and follow
+
+behind, you can see one of the guards who is
+currently on watch. He sees you guys just exit and
+
+then walk back in, following another prisoner. And
+stands up and goes, “I’m sorry, where are you
+
+going?”
+
+TRAVIS: It was a busy day for us. Unfortunately,
+we’re partially responsible for this one as well.
+
+Bad luck.
+
+LAURA: She was also helping to save a lot of
+people. Big misunderstanding.
+
+MATT: “Well, see her into her cell and please exit
+the vicinity.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+MATT: “Appreciate that.” He follows behind you
+guys. They’re on high alert and they’re a bit
+
+scattered. You get the sense right now that they
+have a lot of their initial stock of guards
+
+off-site right now. So they’re doing the best they
+can to hold on to what they currently have in the
+
+stockade.
+
+TRAVIS: To the side I say to Jester, I say: This
+does not really fall in with keeping a low
+
+profile. We talked about this.
+
+LAURA: I know isn’t it so weird?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it is.
+
+MATT: You guys follow down to the basement portion
+of this. Which there’s a heavy locked door
+
+immediately that is opened from the opposite side.
+You hear a couple of keys turn and the shifting of
+
+wood against metal before the door opens and
+reveals the rest of a long hallway that is flanked
+
+by two rows of cells. Iron bars about maybe two
+inches apart going across the entirety of this
+
+long hallway. You can’t quite see the end of it
+until you step down to where the door frame is.
+
+And there is probably a total of ten cells to each
+side. As you walk through, you can see in the off
+
+shadows in the corners a few huddled bodies
+hunched or asleep. Keeping to the shadows and out
+
+of the light. The smell of mildewed wet compost
+and piss hits your nose like a wall.
+
+LAURA: It smells like Caleb down here.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You get about five cells in where you can
+see the guard that was previously in there just
+
+finish off closing the cell that contains both
+Gustav and Bo the Breaker. They move to the cell
+
+just beyond that, open that cell, and then go
+ahead and put Beauregard into that one.
+
+TRAVIS: Are they not going to take her to see the
+Lawmaker?
+
+LAURA: I know, why doesn’t she get to talk to the
+Lawmaster?
+
+MATT: As he closes and locks it, “Because she
+decided not to come helpfully.”
+
+LAURA: What do you mean?
+
+MARISHA: Ah, oh, no you misunderstood. See that
+was just, I have this spasm that has this twitch.
+
+It was an injury from, like, a childhood thing.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, are you guys making fun of her
+because of her spasm?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah that’s actually– (fake crying) it
+was very sensitive for me. I had a really tough
+
+childhood. I was just trying to find a bathroom.
+
+MATT: The three guards walk away, not caring. Who
+were there previously and–
+
+SAM: Spasm shaming.
+
+MATT: At this point, a man who is on the far end
+of the hall walks up. And you can see him, he’s a
+
+man with a heavy, bushy beard that obscures a lot
+of a dark leather mantle, over a general cloth
+
+tunic. He has burly arms, heavy torso, super
+scrawny legs, a widow’s peak, and he looks to be
+
+the jailer. He walks up and puts his hand on the
+bars and goes, “Oh well, if you want to be
+
+"patient, I’m sure the Lawmaster will be here
+sometime in the morning and you can discuss
+
+"whatever this business is. But if you want to say
+goodbye, now’s the time.”
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, we were just upstairs and it
+would really help us if we could, perhaps,
+
+expedite the process. Perhaps there’s an
+arrangement we could come to if she could see the
+
+Lawmaster now.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m looking injured, man. I show
+him my eight hit points of damage.
+
+TALIESIN: How many kittens is that again?
+
+MATT: That’s sixteen kittens. Kittens have half of
+a hit point, I don’t think kittens have more than
+
+that.
+
+LIAM: That’s eight Frumpkins.
+
+TRAVIS: An audience is all we’re asking for. No
+favors.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, this is just a wrong time, wrong
+place thing.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+SAM: Use it.
+
+TRAVIS: God bless. 16.
+
+MATT: He gives you a look and says, “All right,
+but if she gets angry, it’s not on me.”
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. Thank you for your
+understanding.
+
+LAURA: She’s a very calm person. I’ve never seen
+her angry, ever.
+
+MATT: He gives a whistle. Another crownsguard
+comes up and approaches him and he goes, “I’m
+
+"sorry. Could you go and fetch the Lawmaster? They
+are requesting an audience. If she gets angry,
+
+"just add it to this one’s sentence.” The guard
+exits and a brief time by, you can hear the slight
+
+muddled cursing of a dwarven female descending the
+stairs. You can see she has an overcoat on, was
+
+halfway out of the stockades finishing up her
+evening in her office.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau, remember your little sister.
+
+SAM: Oh, what? Little sister? What?
+
+LIAM: We’re not there.
+
+MATT: So, as the Lawmaster approaches, now pulling
+the coat over herself, she goes, “Okay, so you’ve
+
+"returned, apparently, needing to poke into what
+business now before I go off and get some food?”
+
+TRAVIS: I do hate to trouble you again, twice in
+the same evening. It’s incredibly inconvenient.
+
+MATT: “I hate being troubled twice in the same
+evening.”
+
+TRAVIS: If we may, this sweet girl here was also
+part of our party and she is quite the protective
+
+one. I’m afraid that she was also providing aid to
+our fellows in that tent. I’m afraid her younger
+
+sister was attacked in a similar way. I feel it’s
+only prudent to acknowledge that she was trying to
+
+protect this young dwarven girl that performed in
+the circus. She means no harm.
+
+LAURA: It was an adopted sister.
+
+MARISHA: I practically raised her. It’s a
+sensitive subject.
+
+MATT: Okay. I would like a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah baby. 24. Natural 18.
+
+MATT: Modified by their answers.
+
+LAURA: I was helping!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m new at this stat! Don’t fuck it up!
+
+MATT: She gives a narrow look through her eyes,
+looks to one of the other guards that you can see
+
+standing in the back, a familiar one to you, Beau,
+and goes, “Is this true?” He goes, “It appeared to
+
+"us that she was attempting to escape upon us
+trying to bring calm to a very tense situation,
+
+"but I’ll leave it in your realm, Lawmaster.” She
+looks back. “So your sister, apparently, is part
+
+"of this scenario as well?”
+
+MARISHA: Adopted sister.
+
+MATT: “Okay. Well, your sister’s under
+investigation.”
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+LAURA: She’s staying at the same place that we
+are.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. And we can be found at any hour.
+The Nestled Nook Inn is where we are.
+
+MARISHA: And I’m more than willing to be compliant
+with the investigation. In fact, you can see the
+
+injury the beast left on my ribs, so if you want
+to test it for any type of specimen samples, feel
+
+free. It’s very painful, but I’m willing to do it
+for the cause.
+
+LAURA: Do you need me to heal that?
+
+MARISHA (through gritted teeth): No! For the
+cause! Do it for the cause!
+
+MATT: At which she looks to you now and goes, “Are
+you saying you might have been infected by this
+
+"beast?”
+
+MARISHA: No. It’s a separate issue. There was two
+things going on. There was, like, the big angry
+
+toad beast and he got a swipe at me. And then
+there were people who were getting attacked.
+
+MATT: “Theeds!” And she looks over to the jailer,
+who goes, “Aye?” And she goes, “Could you have a
+
+"look at this wound for me real fast? I want to
+make sure this isn’t something that’s going to
+
+"spread.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! Yeah. Uh-huh.
+
+TRAVIS: A great idea indeed. And thankfully there
+was no flesh-to-flesh contact.
+
+MARISHA: Nope.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. The big zombie beast especially was
+using a lot of, like, sticks and stuff to attack
+
+people more than any kind of mouth.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The jailer, Theeds, takes a quick look at
+the wound and he goes, “No, it appears to mainly
+
+"be just bludgeoning. I mean, we’ll keep a close
+eye on her.” You can see now the Lawmaster is
+
+rubbing her eyes in frustration and goes, “I just
+want to sleep.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. It would give us no greater
+pleasure than to get out of your hair.
+
+MATT: “Fine. We’ll have guards posted at the
+outside of the inn. You’re not to leave until this
+
+"investigation is complete. It may take days. Until
+we find out who’s responsible for these deaths and
+
+"bring them to justice, you are not to leave the
+tavern.”
+
+TRAVIS: Understood.
+
+LAURA: Like, at all during the day, even? Just a
+question. If we wanted to shop or something. Not
+
+okay?
+
+MATT: “Not until this is done.”
+
+LAURA: Cool.
+
+MATT: “Because otherwise, you’re welcome to stay
+here, instead.”
+
+LAURA: It is really beautiful here, but I think
+I’d rather stay at the inn?
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed we would. This is most gracious of
+you, Lawmaster Norda.
+
+MATT: “Get them the fuck out.” She turns around
+and sighs heavily as she stomps out of the
+
+chamber. The jailer opens the cell door and allows
+Beauregard back out, and he looks a bit confused
+
+but amused at the same time. The guards that had
+originally arrested you escort you out, not
+
+leaving any element of their sight off of you.
+They escort you guys to the actual inn itself, to
+
+the bottom floor of the Nestled Nook Inn, watch
+you enter, and then post up right outside the main
+
+entrance to the tavern.
+
+LAURA: You should have spasmed a couple times on
+the way here.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, shit.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Opportunity missed.
+
+MARISHA: My little sister? What the what?
+
+LAURA: She’s a dwarf! She’s human!
+
+TRAVIS: What? No, I was trying to say she had a
+little sister that had a similar incident and that
+
+made you try to protect Toya. I was trying to
+throw you a bone.
+
+LAURA: Oh. You didn’t make that clear at all.
+
+MATT: Are you guys up in your room, or are you in
+the tavern?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. We’re having a talk.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re under watch.
+
+MARISHA: I was just trying to go with what you
+said.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You did all right.
+
+MARISHA: All right. I mean, it kind of worked. But
+you’re not entirely wrong! I was trying to go get
+
+the stupid little girl, who seemed to be stupid.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you see anything?
+
+MARISHA: I tried to save her. I was like, get the
+hint, what’s going on?
+
+LAURA: Why would you save her? She turned those
+people into zombies.
+
+MARISHA: (stammers)
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t know that.
+
+LAURA: I mean, she could have.
+
+TALIESIN: She didn’t.
+
+LAURA: Oh, hi! You’re here.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, if anything, we should be looking
+at this guy. Why are we putting our neck out for
+
+you?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re putting your neck out for Toya
+for some strange reason and I don’t know why,
+
+she’s perfectly capable of handling herself.
+
+TRAVIS: Have you been to this town before?
+
+TALIESIN: Not that I can remember. They all look
+the same after a while.
+
+MATT: You’ve come through once, but that was a
+while back and you weren’t really paying
+
+attention.
+
+TALIESIN: Busy, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: And you’ve never seen conditions like this
+affect any other carnival goer before?
+
+TALIESIN: Nothing like this. Hundreds, possibly
+thousands of shows. Yeah, thousands of shows.
+
+Nothing. Never. It’s not us.
+
+LAURA: So great! We’re stuck in a city that has
+zombie issues, that’s all.
+
+TRAVIS: Where are the other two?
+
+TALIESIN: Which other two?
+
+TRAVIS: The stinky one and the little one.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, your friends!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Can we look around and see if we
+spot Caleb and–
+
+TALIESIN: You call them Stinky and the little one?
+All right.
+
+MATT: You spot around the interior of the tavern.
+They don’t appear to be nearby.
+
+TRAVIS: I wonder if they came back.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go up and ask the tavern keeper.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yorda?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, Yorda.
+
+MATT: “Oh, hi! Everything all right? You had a few
+bruiser types leading you in here, some of the
+
+"crownsguard, huh?”
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, there was this big trouble at
+the carnival, did you go?
+
+MATT: “I heard about that. I didn’t go in there,
+but people are coming in here saying–”
+
+LAURA: Somebody turned into a zombie and then–
+
+MATT: “I heard that! That’s incredible!”
+
+LAURA: Yeah! And then we’re all under
+investigation because we saved them! These guards
+
+are weird. Hey, did you see the wizard guy, the
+stinky guy and the little halfling?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, they came in not but a few minutes
+before you did. They went upstairs.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, great! They’re here!
+
+TRAVIS: They are?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Good.
+
+MATT: Meanwhile, the two of you are upstairs in
+your own chambers.
+
+LIAM: During all of that, I would have dragged you
+back here, brought you upstairs. And I whip off my
+
+ratty coat, throw it on the bed and sit down on
+the ground so that I’m eye level with you, Nott.
+
+SAM: Hi.
+
+LIAM: Nott, you and I have to make some decisions
+right now, okay?
+
+SAM: Now?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+SAM: Why?
+
+LIAM: Well, I know why we said we were coming
+here.
+
+SAM: Get some booze, got some books, find a little
+taste of civilization, maybe some better food.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I didn’t say, I also had the idea–
+you know, you and I meeting and teaming up has
+
+been a good thing.
+
+SAM: Oh, yes, very good. I know everyone else
+makes fun of your smell, but I don’t smell
+
+nothing.
+
+LIAM: That’s what I like about you. I have been
+thinking, and yesterday just furthers that
+
+thinking, that I don’t think you and I are enough.
+I had the idea that we would come here maybe and
+
+find others that we could tag along with, or meet
+up the way you and I did. But now I think that is
+
+a terrible idea! The people we spent the day with
+are lunatics. I don’t think that we can do this.
+
+I’ve changed my mind entirely, and I think we
+should go, but we can’t now because we are stuck
+
+here for the moment.
+
+SAM: Under sort of holding arrest or something? We
+can’t leave the city.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+SAM: But I was thinking about this. The people we
+met down there and spent the day with: they are
+
+lunatics, but they draw a lot of attention to
+themselves, leaving us free to sort of slink back
+
+into the shadows a little bit. It might be sort of
+the perfect camouflage. No one’s going to be
+
+looking for a little goblin girl anymore, because
+they’ll be looking at the crazy people, the
+
+tieflings running around smashing shit.
+
+LIAM: You know, I had not thought of it quite in
+that way and that is a good point, but I am not
+
+convinced. I’m not convinced. And perhaps we’re
+better off– maybe I was too ambitious.
+
+SAM: Well, let’s give it a day and if things seem
+a little bit, you know, skinky-doodie tomorrow, we
+
+can fritter away in the middle of the day or
+something.
+
+LIAM: All right. Well, we’ll wait and see. While
+we’re here, one thing, okay? No Money Pot. No Rat
+
+Food. None of those plays. I have silver, we don’t
+need it right now.
+
+SAM: But we need to replenish the healing potion
+you used. If we don’t have that, then what happens
+
+the next you get in trouble?
+
+LIAM: We’re sealed here, and they are watching.
+We’re with a couple of tieflings, a little person
+
+in a doll mask, and a dirty ginger. We’ve got
+people staring at us every second of the day. We
+
+need to dial it back a little bit.
+
+SAM: All right, but how on earth are we– all
+right. We can cool it with the cons for a couple
+
+of days. But I can’t promise that I won’t get the
+itch again.
+
+LIAM: You just talk to me. You hold Frumpkin. Just
+keep your hands full with Frumpkin, okay? Hold my
+
+cat, okay?
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: And then this is going to blow over because
+we didn’t do anything! We did something good.
+
+SAM: No! I didn’t do nothing, we just went to a
+show.
+
+LIAM: That’s right.
+
+SAM: It was a pretty good show. Up until, you
+know, the dead people part.
+
+LIAM: But it was a good show, wasn’t it?
+
+SAM: Yeah! Well, we’ll lay low. Should we pretend
+that we’re still friends with these people?
+
+LIAM: I was going to suggest the same thing. In
+fact, I think we should go downstairs. They’re
+
+going to be coming back. We don’t want to cause a
+stir with them, either. We just want to leave if
+
+that’s what we’re going to do.
+
+SAM: Don’t worry! I’ll turn on the charm.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank God.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Let’s get a drink.
+
+SAM: Thank gods.
+
+LIAM: We head downstairs.
+
+MATT: You guys head down. You get to the bottom of
+the stairs just in time to see Jester, Beauregard,
+
+Molly, and Fjord looking across the tavern, making
+their way in your direction, and you guys notice
+
+them meeting you in the tavern room, as well.
+
+SAM: Oh, thank God you’re here and safe! We missed
+you! Somehow we got separated! Friends.
+
+LAURA: That happens, yes.
+
+MARISHA: Can I insight check him?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+SAM and MATT: Her.
+
+MARISHA: Her. Sam. Natural 20.
+
+SAM: I’m lying!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Front butt?! You just saw that, too?!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: You guys peaced out pretty quickly.
+
+LIAM: We did, I did not come to Trostenwald to go
+to jail.
+
+TRAVIS: What did you come to Trostenwald for?
+
+LIAM: We are tired. We’ve been traveling a long
+time. We’ve been saving. Wanted to take it easy
+
+for a few days.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, I’m not trying to pry. I was just
+curious where you were going.
+
+MARISHA: Just curious why you have a mask.
+
+TALIESIN: If I’m going to listening to somebody’s
+life story I’m going to need a drink. You,
+
+gorgeous, what’s your name?
+
+MATT: You look over and see a woman with darker
+hair, the general barmaid. “Adelaine.”
+
+TALIESIN: Adelaine, I would like a round for all
+these terrible people and one for myself. What’s
+
+the difference between these three beers? I’ve
+honestly got to admit, they all taste the same to
+
+me.
+
+MATT: “Go with the von Brandt.”
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get a round of von Brandt for
+everybody.
+
+TARVIS: Actually, if it’s all the same I’m not
+really an ale fan. Do you have any fire whiskey?
+
+MATT: “We can get you some liquor, aye.”
+
+LAURA: Can I have some milk?
+
+SAM: Two, please.
+
+MATT: “All right.” She walks away.
+
+LAURA: You think she heard that I wanted milk?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. I’m going to ask for one
+of each of these beers because I want to have a
+
+tasting competition. I’m not going to be drinking
+alone.
+
+LIAM: I wander away from these two with their
+questions and I sit down with Molly.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, you want to see something cool?
+
+LIAM: I would love to see something cool.
+
+LAURA: I show Caleb where I etched the dick in the
+table a couple nights ago.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! Bringing it back.
+
+LIAM: That’s pretty good.
+
+TALIESIN: How’d you etch a deck in the table?
+
+LAURA: It’s a dick.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Have you always been an artist?
+
+LAURA: I have actually, I’ve been an artist since
+I was little.
+
+TALIESIN: You think that’s what they look like?
+
+LAURA: I’ve seen a lot of dicks. That is what most
+of them look like.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m already in my cups.
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+LIAM: So where do you two come from?
+
+LAURA: Us two?
+
+LIAM: Yes, you two with the horns.
+
+LAURA: Well, I don’t know where he comes from. You
+think we all come from the same place? That was
+
+really inconsiderate.
+
+LIAM: No, you are very different it’s very clear.
+
+LAURA: He’s purple.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s blue.
+
+LAURA: Which is pretty rare.
+
+LIAM: He’s every color.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s very true.
+
+LAURA: I’m from Nicodranas.
+
+LIAM: Remember when we started the first campaign
+and all those places came in a split second and
+
+all that history. I’m from Shrev`nam Chicago. Oh
+yes.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m from the circus.
+
+LIAM: So you’re a traveler then?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah. Quite a while.
+
+LIAM: Since childhood?
+
+TALIESIN: Long as I can reasonably remember at the
+very least. It’s been a while. It’s nice. I like
+
+it. They’re good people. Work hard.
+
+LIAM: You have a lot of scars.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a very funny story, actually.
+
+TRAVIS: I like funny stories.
+
+TALIESIN: Me too.
+
+TRAVIS: You did some crazy shit with that sword of
+yours.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. These swords– you buy a
+drink and we’ll see.
+
+TRAVIS: You polish off that one already?
+
+LAURA: Wow, that’s a lot– okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we get another round? For the–
+
+TALIESIN: How much I owe you for the first round?
+
+MATT: They are keeping a tally of the table.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin scrabbles up onto Nott’s shoulder.
+
+SAM: Hi Frumpy, nice to see you again.
+
+TALIESIN: Mother always told me to never give a
+story away for free.
+
+TRAVIS: Wise words.
+
+LAURA: My mother said don’t give away other things
+for free.
+
+TALIESIN: I already like your mother.
+
+MARISHA: My mother always said nothing in life is
+free.
+
+TALIESIN: I can tell.
+
+MARISHA: None of this absolves the dodgy goblin
+who slinked past that first question. Where are
+
+you from? What are you traveling from? Why the
+mask?
+
+TRAVIS: Only because we seem to find ourselves in
+quite the predicament.
+
+SAM: We’re just a couple of friends, strolling
+around the countryside looking for adventure.
+
+MARISHA: Sure you are.
+
+LIAM: Do you see many goblins walking around
+cities here?
+
+MARISHA: It has nothing to do with that. People
+who move from place to place frequently tend to
+
+have other stories as to why they’re doing it.
+
+LIAM: Well, let me make it clear: goblins are not
+typically welcome in any cities, that is why the
+
+mask.
+
+MARISHA: Well, you’re going back to the goblin
+thing. I’m more curious about the travel thing.
+
+SAM: We have a string of bad luck. We tend to get
+in trouble in places for various reasons. Some of
+
+which is my fault. Most of which is my fault. I
+have sticky fingers. I can’t help myself
+
+sometimes. I’m fascinated by little bobbles and
+fancy pieces of jewelries and I love trinkets so
+
+much! I just have to take them, and have them
+with me, and put them in my pockets. It’s gotten
+
+us in a few scrapes a couple times. Caleb, he is
+fantastic. Very patient with me, understands. But
+
+really it’s my fault; it’s not him. He’s a smart
+man, a brilliant magician! Have you seen? Some of
+
+his tricks are phenomenal, really.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I���d love to.
+
+SAM: I feel bad to because we never stay in one
+place long enough for him to have a decent shower.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a moving story.
+
+MARISHA: I immediately check my pockets after that
+to see is Nott has lifted anything. Is everything
+
+still there, all my coin?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to join you on this one.
+
+MARISHA: Not great. Not great at all. Six.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: 16? Everything seems to be in order for
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Wait that was a 15! Right? That was the
+dice I rolled? 16.
+
+MATT: Everything seems to be in order.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Anyway, that’s the long and short of it.
+
+LAURA: What do you do with the things once you
+steal them?
+
+SAM: Well the nice ones I keep. I have a little–
+
+LAURA: Do you have a collection?
+
+SAM: I collect a lot of things, but in the last
+place we hunkered down, it was all taken from me.
+
+We were in one of those prisons before– Am I
+sharing too much? I’m sharing too much, aren’t I?
+
+We were in a prison, they took all of our
+belongings. I lost all of my collections. I had a
+
+lovely rock collection. I had a rare coin
+collection. I had a stick collection. Yeah, it’s
+
+all gone now.
+
+LAURA: What about shiny things, though?
+
+SAM: I love them. I just don’t have any right
+now.
+
+LAURA: Because I think if you have sticky fingers
+for sticks and rocks, I don’t think that will get
+
+you in trouble.
+
+SAM: True. But they were like people’s canes and
+things.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I mean I call them sticks because I don’t
+need them. But I suppose they really needed them.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that makes sense.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s only one way to find out.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, I’m sorry. I think I need
+clarification. If sticks mean things like valuable
+
+canes, what do rocks mean to you?
+
+SAM: You know those rocks that humans wear on
+their fingers and around their necks and stuff.
+
+They’re really nice rocks.
+
+LIAM: We don’t have many of those at the moment.
+
+TRAVIS: Would it be fair to say that the more
+someone desires something, the more you’re
+
+interest increases?
+
+SAM: Oh I don’t care about the people who have
+them. I just like pretty things. Toys, anything
+
+really.
+
+LAURA: I’ll keep an eye out for things that you
+would like.
+
+SAM: Okay! Can you help with that?
+
+LAURA: I can if you want me to. Or I can point it
+out.
+
+MARISHA: Is it the joy of taking the things or do
+you just like gifts?
+
+SAM: No, it’s the collecting.
+
+LIAM: It’s like a nervous tick a little bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you good at it? Do you get caught very
+often?
+
+SAM: Well, would you like a demonstration?
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+TRAVIS: Now, Jester, if I may, we are already in a
+little bit of a pickle.
+
+LAURA: Steal something from me! Do you want me to
+close my eyes?
+
+SAM: Sure! That’ll make it really easy. Are they
+closed?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: All right. Out of practice here. I’m going to
+do a shot. Crack my knuckles.
+
+LAURA: Just don’t take the thing on my waist,
+because he’ll be pissed.
+
+SAM: He’ll be pissed? What?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: He?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: What’s on your waist?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m looking at her waist. What’s on her
+waist?
+
+MATT: What’s on your waist?
+
+LAURA: My symbol to the Traveler.
+
+SAM: Oh. All right, I’ll go to her left buttcheek
+pocket and fish around.
+
+LAURA: I’m in a dress. I don’t have a pocket on my
+buttcheek. But you can try.
+
+SAM: What pockets do you have?
+
+LAURA: I would have pockets on the front of my
+dress, and maybe a little pouch on my hip.
+
+SAM: I’ll do the hip pocket.
+
+MATT: All right, make a sleight of hand check.
+
+SAM: Three.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You close your eyes and feel a tug and a
+shake–
+
+SAM: Plus eight.
+
+MATT: What’s your passive perception?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to guess ten.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s 13.
+
+MATT: So, yeah, you totally feel–
+
+LAURA: You’re doing great!
+
+SAM: This is not how it usually works! The person
+is not really expecting it. This is embarrassing,
+
+really. I have the one skill and I failed at it.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay, you can keep practicing.
+
+LIAM: There is that one magic trick that you’re
+able to do. Would you like to show them the magic
+
+trick that you can do? I pull out a small red clay
+ceramic bowl. Then I pull out a copper piece.
+
+Here, you know the trick, right?
+
+SAM: Yes, I know the trick. Takes a little bit of
+time, doesn’t it?
+
+LIAM: You’re good.
+
+SAM: Okay. (clears throat) I do know one piece of
+magic. Feast your eyes–
+
+TRAVIS: I take one step back.
+
+on the sacred money pot of school.
+If you place a copper piece into this pot
+
+and say the magic words–
+what’s the magic word again?
+
+LIAM: Fibulous.
+
+SAM: Fibulous! It will turn into a silver piece.
+
+LAURA: Should I say it?
+
+TALIESIN: I want to hear you say it, anyway.
+
+SAM: Only I can say it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: For everyone has their own magic word, and it
+won’t work with you.
+
+(vocalizing, trills)
+
+By the ancient order of the school, fibulous!
+
+LIAM: That is a silver coin right there.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh. Wait a minute. Does this mean
+the silver I won from you was actually copper?
+
+SAM: No, it only works up.
+
+LAURA: Great! Thanks for the silver.
+
+SAM: Well, no, we weren’t giving you the silver
+piece just showing you a bit of magic. This pot is
+
+actually quite powerful. It can do that once a
+day, so if you’d like to purchase it.
+
+LAURA: Can you turn this into a gold piece?
+
+SAM: Well, it only works once a day.
+
+LAURA: Well, tomorrow can you make it gold?
+
+SAM: I think it only does the copper to silver?
+
+LIAM: The magic is not that strong.
+
+SAM: Yes, it’s a mild magic pot. But if you’d like
+to purchase it from us, we can sell it to you for
+
+five gold.
+
+LAURA: Five gold for one silver a day? That
+doesn’t add up.
+
+TRAVIS: By the end of the week you made your money
+back.
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+SAM: At discount for friends, three gold.
+
+LAURA: Three gold.
+
+SAM: And for that, we’ll teach you your own magic
+word.
+
+LAURA: That’s pretty good.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 40 days.
+
+LAURA: 40 days?
+
+SAM: You can do it once a day forever, you have it
+for the rest of your life.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but I have lots of money. I don’t
+need it.
+
+SAM: But this is free money, that you don’t have
+to work for.
+
+LIAM: Also, you know, they basically helped us out
+today. You can do it for one, for them.
+
+SAM: All right, one gold.
+
+LAURA: One gold. That’s a really good deal. Did
+you hear how much he gave me a deal? Okay!
+
+MATT: Do you give him the gold?
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’ll give him the gold. Hold on, let
+me make sure I have it. Where’s my–?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the second button.
+
+LAURA: Oh, currency! Gold. Okay, one down.
+
+MARISHA: Do I notice anything shifty about that,
+while we were looking at his hands?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+LAURA: What’s my magic word?
+
+LIAM: It can be whatever you want it to be. You
+have to agree upon it and you have to focus on
+
+that word for one full day while you are in
+possession of the pot.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: You watch that copper piece become silver,
+magically.
+
+LAURA: How about skinky doodie?
+
+LIAM: Skinky doodie, that is unique. I’m sure no
+one else has possession of that arcane power word.
+
+I could consider it yours if you focused on it all
+day tomorrow. But you really have to focus.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I will. Super a lot of focus. Skinky
+doodie. Thank you for this.
+
+SAM: It’s a pleasure doing business with you. Does
+that answer your question? I’ve got some for you.
+
+MARISHA: You have questions for me?
+
+SAM: Yeah! How does someone like you – you’re
+human right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I am.
+
+SAM: How do you come by learning Halfling?
+
+MARISHA: My parents were in the winery business.
+The wine making business. And halflings really
+
+like wine.
+
+SAM: Everyone likes wine!
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+TRAVIS: Some people more than others.
+
+MARISHA: Some halflings just deal in wine a lot,
+and a lot did in the town that I’m from and then
+
+my parents wanted me to keep up with the books and
+all that stuff so it forced me to learn halfling.
+
+I was around it a lot.
+
+SAM: What town was that then?
+
+LAURA: It’s close by here, right?
+
+MARISHA: It’s a bit aways. It’s Kamordah.
+
+SAM: Hmm, haven’t heard of it.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a small farming town, it’s no big
+deal. It’s whatever.
+
+SAM: Nothing shady there!
+
+MARISHA: Nope, just a wandering traveler just like
+the rest of y'all.
+
+TRAVIS: Well I mean I was really impressed with
+the little trick, I sure would like to see a big
+
+trick.
+
+LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy to open all the windows!
+
+MATT: Being about one o'clock in the morning at
+this time, and the energy in the tavern has come
+
+to a quiet crawl, those who are keeping their cups
+are either snoring or in the process of preparing
+
+to go to sleep, you watch as Adelaine, the
+barmaid is walking around cleaning up tables and
+
+suddenly all the windows in the room slam open
+with a heavy impact and there’s a burst of wind
+
+that comes through. The two crownsguard that were
+outside flanking the opening doorway suddenly rush
+
+and look in and look about at the lot of you.
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry! Drinking! I did order two extra.
+Two extra?
+
+MATT: They both just slowly curl back to their
+perimeter.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re no fun.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, circus! Woo, circus coming to
+town!
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, I meant a trick from Caleb.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: You want to see a trick?
+
+TRAVIS: I would love one.
+
+LIAM: I am well into my second trost at this
+point. I can show you a trick. Young lady, if you
+
+would assist me please. Step up onto the table.
+
+SAM: Absolutely!
+
+MARISHA: Just don’t break anything.
+
+LIAM: Adjust your minds. I begin to weave one hand
+in a slow circle around the other, and a globe of
+
+golden light poofs out.
+
+SAM: I put my hands and feet out in an akimbo
+pose.
+
+LIAM: A second little globule of light comes out.
+
+SAM: I feel it coming! Hit me!
+
+LIAM: Then two more at the same time come out of
+my hand. Then they amass upon my little companion
+
+and form a similar sized little humanoid of light
+that then coincides with my little friend. She is
+
+glowing golden on a table in the middle of the
+Nestled Nook.
+
+SAM: (sings)
+
+LIAM: The Goblight, ladies and gentlemen. The
+Goblight!
+
+SAM: Thank you!
+
+MATT: There’s some claps in the back rooms. You
+see one of the drunken gentlemen has come to
+
+semi-consciousness and goes, “That’s impressive!”
+(hic)
+
+Then passes back out on the table.
+
+TRAVIS: How did you learn to do that?
+
+LIAM: I could always do that a little bit, as a
+kid. I was always good with magic. I had a knack
+
+for it. That one’s easy.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s impressive.
+
+LIAM: Well, thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Aw buddy.
+
+LAURA: Maybe he can teach you how to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it something that can be taught to
+others?
+
+TALIESIN: Are you trying to learn magic? Is that a
+thing?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I’m just a little curious about
+how people use their magic.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve seen you have a few tricks up your
+sleeve. You seem like you’re not totally magic inept.
+
+TRAVIS: No, it’s relatively new for me though, so
+I’m just trying to learn.
+
+LIAM: Are you reading a lot?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I wonder if maybe I should be?
+
+LIAM: Well, it could be helpful. Although, I’m a
+bit of an amateur teacher. I taught Nott the one
+
+trick you saw, but other things. We’ve been
+working together, I suppose I could try to help
+
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Have you had your abilities your whole
+life, like a kid?
+
+TRAVIS: No. Again, fairly recently.
+
+MARISHA: Something happen?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I’m sorry, do you two not know each
+other super well? You seem like you do.
+
+MARISHA: We got a good 24-48 hours on the rest of
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re not super deep.
+
+MARISHA: Nope.
+
+SAM: Where did you come from then?
+
+TRAVIS: Well I came up from the town of Port
+Damali.
+
+LAURA: That’s where we met!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I met Jester a while back and after I
+Ieft town, coming up to the northeast, I ran
+
+across her. I’d seen her do some of her magic
+before. That’s what I’m trying to learn about.
+
+LAURA: If you need anymore displays, you just let
+me know.
+
+LIAM: We’ve seen that window thing a couple times.
+It’s good.
+
+MARISHA: Can I request a display? I think I have a
+broken rib. It might be getting more purple.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, I mean I can ask, but I think I’m
+tapped.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll sleep it off, it’s fine.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I can try! I’ll put my hand out. I’ll
+try to cast Cure Wounds. I got shit. I got
+
+nothing. It’s not happening.
+
+SAM: It’s past midnight!
+
+LAURA: Oh, no. I’ve got to sleep.
+
+MATT: You concentrate for a moment. Make a
+medicine check.
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+SAM: Natural 12!
+
+LAURA: That’s 17.
+
+MATT: 17. You focus on the bruised area, exposed
+out of her monk robes. You watch as the slight
+
+bruising suddenly turns like a sickly green.
+
+SAM: Is that good?
+
+MATT: In a very unhealthy way.
+
+LAURA: You know what? I think this might be worse
+than just like a bruised rib. Can I poke it? Does
+
+it seem infected?
+
+MARISHA: Does it hurt?
+
+LAURA: I’m not going to poke it with my finger,
+though, I’m going to poke at it with a fork.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t poke at me with a fork!
+
+MATT: Right now, she’s inspecting it. You take a
+fork off the table and poke.
+
+MARISHA: No, you don’t!
+
+LAURA: I’ll use the blunt end, don’t be such a
+baby!
+
+MATT: She pushes it in and the bruise hurts a bit.
+You watch as this sickly pus liquid begins to pour
+
+out, with a thick viscosity and a lot of it. You
+all of the sudden feel like you’ve punctured a
+
+balloon that’s beginning to erupt and you feel
+awful. Then you blink a few times and it’s just a
+
+bruise. You hear this distant (cackling).
+
+LAURA: Oh, motherfucker, he’s such a dick!
+
+SAM: What? Who? What? What’s going on?
+
+MARISHA: My bruise is in the shape of a dick?
+
+LAURA: That would be really cool.
+
+MARISHA: That would be fun!
+
+LAURA: I’m just going make sure, I’m going to push
+on it a bit more. I think it’s okay, you’re fine.
+
+MARISHA: All right. I’ll sleep it off.
+
+LAURA: I think I need some sleep, you guys.
+
+LIAM: Gustav, the person who runs the circus, is
+he your friend?
+
+TALIESIN: He’s family.
+
+LIAM: He’s family?
+
+TALIESIN: We take care of each other. He’s a good
+man.
+
+LIAM: So what’s your play tomorrow?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, they have all my things and they
+have all my family. I’m going to figure out what is
+
+going on. Try and find out what’s actually doing
+this. I assume since it’s none of us, it’s going
+
+to happen again.
+
+LAURA: But how can we because we can’t leave this
+tavern?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I–
+
+SAM: Were Caleb and I not instructed not to leave
+the tavern? We received no formal instruction.
+
+MATT: No, you weren’t part of that formal
+instruction. The rest of you were told not to
+
+leave the tavern until further notice.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sure if we sleep on it, we’ll think
+of something.
+
+LAURA: Fjord! You and I could leave in the morning
+the same way we got in.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s true.
+
+SAM: How’d you get in?
+
+LAURA: With magic. I would show you now, but I’m
+out of spells!
+
+SAM: The fork trick wasn’t very fun, was it?
+
+LAURA: No. I was making sure she wasn’t a zombie.
+I thought she might be.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+LAURA: She got clawed, right?
+
+TALIESIN: A bit, yeah.
+
+LAURA: All right. Hey bitches, I’m going to go to
+bed.
+
+TALIESIN: Where exactly am I going to be sleeping,
+by the way? I can sleep down here, but it might be nice–
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, if you would like to share my room,
+you can.
+
+TALIESIN: Excellent. You don’t mind? I’m going to
+pull the swords off finally and start getting
+
+comfortable out of the performance clothes.
+
+MARISHA: I’m in Jester’s room, still, I think.
+Sleeping on the floor on my bedroll.
+
+LAURA: As she starts to go to sleep, I want to
+draw in my sketchbook and tell the Traveler all
+
+about the cool things I saw for the day. I’m going
+to draw the red faced guard as I pretended I was a
+
+zombie, and I’m going to draw Molly’s horns all
+full of jewels and stuff! I’m going to draw the
+
+stack of books.
+
+SAM: The monster attack?
+
+LAURA: And I’m going to draw like a zombie, but
+like as an old man but as he’s biting his dentures
+
+fall out and he’s not no teeth!
+
+MATT: All righty. Fairly decent sketches,
+actually. You eventually find yourself to sleep.
+
+The rest of you, go to your respective rooms and
+find yourselves falling into a night’s rest. As
+
+evening comes to a close and the morning brings
+you to consciousness, you are rested. You are
+
+healed up, your spells are restored.
+
+SAM: I can use the Long Rest feature of D&D
+Beyond!
+
+MARISHA: You hit a button!
+
+LAURA: And all my spells back!
+
+TALIESIN: There is a button for it.
+
+SAM: Whoa, nothing changed! No spells. I lost ten
+hit points?! What the fuck?! I’ve done something
+
+terribly wrong.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: D&D Beyond’s watching going, “Fuck you,
+Nott!”
+
+LAURA: Wait no, you’re putting temporary hit
+points on! What are you doing?
+
+SAM: We’ll work on this during the break.
+
+LIAM: Self destruct in 10, nine.
+
+MARISHA: He just throws the iPad.
+
+MATT: Coming to consciousness in your respective
+rooms, cold morning air. It’s a bit frosty. The
+
+windows to each of your rooms have a bit of that
+curled bit of frost on the outskirts of the glass.
+
+It’s probably 8:00 or 9:00 in the morning at this
+point in time and the day is yours. What do you
+
+wish to do?
+
+MARISHA: As I wake up, I sit up and I go: Jester?
+
+LAURA: Hmm?
+
+MARISHA: Were you laughing to yourself last night?
+I just kept hearing giggling. It was obnoxious.
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. I just get ready.
+
+MATT: As a note, too, for all the drinks you guys
+drank last night, that probably put you back about
+
+one and a half gold.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, that’s your tab, right?
+
+TALIESIN: All but the one you bought me.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, except for that one.
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, I didn’t give you that
+story.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: I very carefully start unfolding my robe
+and it has my swords very carefully laid out in
+
+there from the closet. I do a little prayer and
+put everything back on.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you praying over your swords?
+
+TALIESIN: I am, of course.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that part of your thing?
+
+TALIESIN: You seem honest.
+
+TRAVIS: I try to be.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, the swords are magic. According to
+my mum, they go back in our family generations to
+
+a very unusual rare line of tiefling that came
+from a demon of ice that lived inside a volcano.
+
+Our family, and I take this with a grain of salt,
+were royal guards, were entrusted with these magic
+
+swords and these swords can only be activated by
+the blood of the royal family. So in honor of any
+
+fighting I ever do with them, I make sure my blood
+is at least drawn once.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s quite the story. Can I insight
+check him?
+
+MATT: Yes, you may.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+TALIESIN: What am I fighting against?
+
+MATT: This would be deception.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be deception. All right. I’m
+lying like a motherfucker.
+
+TRAVIS: Well thank you for sharing that
+honest story with me. It means a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: I walk downstairs.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: Can I go knock on Fjord’s door?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Ey oh ey, good morning!
+
+SAM: She’s a morning person too? Jesus.
+
+TRAVIS: Ey oh ey yourself.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Hey, do you want to get out of here?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we said we were going to do that,
+didn’t we? What did you have in mind?
+
+LAURA: Well, we sneak out and then we go find out
+why there are zombies.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a detailed plan.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: I like it. Are we taking anybody with us?
+
+LAURA: Well, if they can make themselves not look
+like themselves, then sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. Do you want to ask any of
+them?
+
+LAURA: Hey, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Do you have anything you can do to make
+yourself not look like you?
+
+MARISHA: I take my robes and I flip them inside
+out and I take some dirt and dirty it up a little
+
+bit and take my hair down and I steal
+a scarf off of Jester’s stuff and I do a
+
+bandana around my head.
+
+LAURA: No, you look like you with a bandana around
+your head.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah that’s not going to cut it, not quite
+like what we had in mind.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What are you guys doing? You guys
+leaving? Are you guys fucking leaving? You’re not
+
+leaving without me are you?
+
+LAURA: No, of course, we’re coming back.
+
+MARISHA: You’re skipping town.
+
+LAURA: No. Oh, but we could.
+
+TRAVIS: She’s right here.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I could skip town with you, though. Do
+you want to skip town?
+
+LAURA: We’ll be back.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s see if Caleb and his little friend
+are downstairs first. He has tricks after all.
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MATT: Okay, the two of you come to consciousness.
+What are you up to?
+
+SAM: Get some breakfast, I guess?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’re already down there.
+
+MATT: You’ve already gone down there?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve already gone. I’m having breakfast.
+I’m leaving a note with the barkeep for Yasha if
+
+she comes back.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I guess I go down and have breakfast as
+well.
+
+MATT: As you guys wander down you find Caleb and
+Nott already at a table and Mollymauk returning
+
+from the bar after delivering that note.
+
+TRAVIS: Y'all are downstairs?
+
+SAM: (messy eating noises)
+
+LAURA: Can I try to pick a piece of bacon off your
+plate?
+
+SAM: (growls) Sure, for you.
+
+LAURA: Thanks.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a little dog. The little back
+foot creeps up. (growls) If we could we’re– did
+
+you just fucking? Shit. We were thinking of maybe
+finding our way outside of the inn for a bit. I
+
+don’t want to presume anything, but do you have
+the ability to change the way you look?
+
+LIAM: To change the way I look?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You know
+
+LIAM: To leave the inn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, assume a different form.
+
+LIAM: Why would I do that to leave the inn?
+
+LAURA: So we can find out why there are zombies.
+
+LIAM: Why wouldn’t I just walk out of the inn?
+
+LAURA: Well, because we were told we can’t leave
+the inn.
+
+SAM: We weren’t told that.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+LAURA: Huh. Well, that’s convenient.
+
+SAM: But I can change my appearance.
+
+LAURA: Wow. I would never know it was you.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, what about you?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I mean look at me. I go into my
+bag. I do have a disguise kit. Don’t I? I think I
+
+do. It’s so weird to just have things now. Yeah, I
+have a disguise kit.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+MATT: It means he can use to try and disguise
+himself. Hide features.
+
+TALIESIN: It’d be a little tricky for me. I
+look like what I’m going to look like.
+
+But the rest of you could do a little work.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau, I don’t want to leave you behind,
+but I–
+
+LAURA: It’s true. I have a disguise kit, too. I
+could help you out.
+
+MARISHA: Would you do my makeup for me?
+
+LAURA: I’m really good at makeup.
+
+MARISHA: Are you?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do that.
+
+LAURA: I’m really shit at makeup.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: We could just shower this one that would
+be enough.
+
+LAURA: He can leave, apparently.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we could. But not town, we were told
+to stay in town.
+
+LAURA: No, no, we’re going to stay in town.
+
+SAM: What are we doing again?
+
+LAURA: We have to find out why there are zombies
+so we that don’t get arrested for being zombies.
+
+SAM: So we solve the case to clear our own name.
+
+LIAM: Why shouldn’t we just wait for it all to
+blow over? We didn’t do anything.
+
+TALIESIN: I tend to find these things don’t blow over
+necessarily as more they just eventually decide
+
+someone’s guilty and take their revenge on them.
+
+LIAM: Do you find yourself in situations like this
+often?
+
+TALIESIN: Not this particular one, but yes.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, look at him. No offense or
+anything.
+
+TALIESIN: None taken, really. A little taken, but
+that’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: He makes a point. I think that the sooner
+we find the cause of this, the sooner we can get
+
+out of here.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s right, immediately the two of us
+are going to get hit with this.
+
+SAM: If we solve the case we would be absolved.
+It’s not a terrible plan.
+
+MARISHA: And you’re so concerned with your goblin
+friend. I mean he’s in the same boat as the
+
+tieflings.
+
+LIAM: That’s a girl.
+
+LAURA: I know it’s hard to tell.
+
+MARISHA: I said your goblin friend.
+
+LAURA and LAURA: You said he.
+
+MARISHA: Whatever.
+
+SAM: Listen, we’ve all had a rough night. I know
+that my features aren’t necessarily the most
+
+feminine. Among goblin kind, I understand. It’s
+hard to tell.
+
+LAURA: I can tell.
+
+LIAM: Everybody can tell.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’m working on it.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get out of here. Can I walk back
+into a privy, washroom area?
+
+MATT: Yeah, upstairs at the very end of the hall
+is the communal washroom.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use my Mask of Many Faces to cast
+Disguise Self on myself?
+
+MATT: Sure, what form so you want to take?
+
+TRAVIS: Older, white-haired, with a beard. Just
+very simple peasant’s clothes. Maybe a bit of a
+
+farmer or a land worker.
+
+MATT: Okay, easily enough. Basic browns and tans
+and general farm worker’s tunic and supplies.
+
+TRAVIS: Smudges, dirt on the fingernails.
+
+MATT: Yeah, easy enough.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to help Beau. You know what I’m
+going to do for you? I’m going to use my disguise
+
+kit I’m going to give you a beard.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yeah!
+
+LAURA: Yeah and I’m going to turn you into a dude,
+that’s a good disguise, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA. Yeah, and a mustache. And a hat.
+
+MARISHA: Love it.
+
+SAM: You really have to sell it though, and act
+like a dude.
+
+MARISHA: (low, gravelly voice) I think I can do that.
+
+SAM: Oh yes!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go a step further and tape
+down my boobs, bandage them down all the way, you
+
+know wrap them. Stuff my crotch a little bit.
+
+MATT: All right. Go ahead and make a dexterity
+check.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you want assistance with this?
+
+LAURA: Was he helping me?
+
+MATT: If you want to.
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+MATT: So take it with advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, with advantage.
+
+LAURA: Good. Okay, with the advantage. Dexterity.
+15.
+
+MATT: 15, okay. You actually manage to sell a
+decent disguise.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have some five o'clock shadow?
+
+MATT: At a distance, at like three or four feet
+would be passable and walking quickly by. Upon
+
+close inspection, you could see through it.
+
+LIAM: Is it like one of those old kids toys where
+you use the magnet to pull the little filings up?
+
+MATT: More or less.
+
+MARISHA: Mr. Woolly?
+
+MATT: A medieval version of that.
+
+LIAM: Herr Woolly.
+
+MATT: But impressive. Using the kit and using
+whatever scraps of clothing you can find and amass
+
+you manage to get a relatively top-knot Silverlake
+hobo version of Beau functionally ready to go.
+
+LAURA: It’s good, it’s good.
+
+MARISHA: Wait Fjord how do you sound? Say words,
+you’re manly.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Manly words. Mirror image. I
+got nuts.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: And I’ll cast Disguise Self on myself, as
+well, and turn myself into a human with blonde
+
+hair and she’s going to be very clean-looking.
+
+SAM: Angelina.
+
+LAURA: Yes! With big lips, and a couple jewels on
+her fingers.
+
+MATT: Okay. Just double-checking here, Disguise
+Self lasts for, is it an hour? Yeah, I thought it
+
+was an hour. So while they’re doing that, are you
+using your disguise kit on yourself?
+
+TALIESIN: I assume I’ve just got some very basic
+black robe that just–
+
+MATT: Yeah, with a cloak and hood and make-up, you
+can probably pass for human as long as you keep
+
+the hood up, and keep most of your more
+ostentatious garb hidden.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sure I’ve got a set.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a dexterity check for your
+disguise kit.
+
+LAURA: Do you want help?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes please, this is a lot of work. It’s
+a natural 20, that’ll do it.
+
+MATT: All right. Between making your skin tone
+more of a natural tan, peach humanoid color, bring
+
+the hood up. You actually pull some of your hair
+forward and adhere it a bit around the horns so
+
+that it looks almost like a cluster of hair in the
+front. You manage to tuck in and tie your robe
+
+behind you, your usual clothing, and then using an
+over-robe to hide most of the material, and you
+
+look like a dude passing through. So with that
+your disguises are complete, your spells are cast.
+
+MARISHA: Is that your human face?
+
+LIAM: While they’re doing all that, I want to
+stroll outside and see if there’s crownsguard
+
+outside, or what. I’m just going to get a breath
+of fresh air and see what’s on the street outside
+
+of this place.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you exit, there are two gentlemen
+in full crownsguard gear. One is standing outside,
+
+the other is currently sitting in a chair, and as
+soon as you walk past, they both scan you up and
+
+down, continue to watch you pass by.
+
+LIAM: Good. There’s only just the two at the
+door?
+
+MATT: Just the two that you can see at the front,
+yes.
+
+LIAM: Okay, all right. So I just take a minute or
+two. I go back inside. And– on Nott’s shoulder
+
+and say we’re good, yeah, I think we’re good.
+
+SAM: Excellent.
+
+LAURA: Should we try to do this, then?
+
+TRAVIS: In twos, or singles.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, of course, not all at the same time,
+that’s obvious.
+
+TRAVIS: Level two, trying to get out of a fucking
+inn.
+
+MARISHA: It’s so hard.
+
+TALIESIN: Now I’m kicking myself.
+
+MARISHA: So anxiety-inducing.
+
+TALIESIN: No, never mind, I didn’t do it at the
+time, I can’t do it now. No retconning, never
+
+mind.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to squat down over with you,
+privately. I still think that this is a bad idea,
+
+but I can tell that you want to.
+
+SAM: Well it’s just that– listen, there’s no
+offense, I enjoy our talks and your schooling and
+
+everything, but I haven’t talked this openly and
+freely with other people in months. It’s amazing.
+
+LIAM: It really is pretty nice, isn’t it?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: Still, if this goes south, we leave.
+
+SAM: We’re the first ones out the door.
+
+LIAM: Easily.
+
+SAM: Yeah. They’ll never know who we were.
+
+LIAM: Caleb and Nott.
+
+SAM: Well, don’t say that too much. I mean, yes,
+they do know that we’re Caleb and Nott, yes.
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: So we’re doing this?
+
+SAM: Yeah, let’s just go with, and see where it
+leads.
+
+LAURA: Can I walk up to Nott?
+
+SAM: Hi! Yes, we weren’t talking!
+
+LAURA: (high-pitched) Do you like my outfit?
+
+SAM: Oh! What are you? I’m sorry, I’m just a young
+girl from the village.
+
+LAURA: And I’m just a young girl from town.
+
+SAM: I don’t know anything. I should go get my
+father.
+
+TRAVIS: (high-pitched) New York is where I’d
+rather stay!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Nott, it’s me! It’s Jester!
+
+SAM: But you look like–
+
+LAURA: I know! This is how good I am at magic!
+Check me out. Are we leaving here or not?
+
+SAM: Are you afraid you’ll be propositioned on the
+street?
+
+LAURA: I am really attractive right now.
+
+SAM: Those lips are very big.
+
+LAURA: I came over here to give you the blessing!
+
+SAM: What is that? What does that do?
+
+LAURA: It helps you with your stealthing!
+
+SAM: Oh, the stealthy thing, yes, thank you so
+much, I’ll accept it.
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome. Okay, that’s it. But I’ll
+see you outside at some point, okay? Don’t be
+
+scared, come up to me.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Okay, in what order are you leaving?
+
+TRAVIS: Should I go first?
+
+LAURA: Sure!
+
+MARISHA: Are we going out in pairs? Like you said?
+(Deeper) Are we going out in pairs?
+
+TALIESIN: Has Adelaine noticed any of this?
+
+MATT: I imagine you guys have been using your
+disguise kits in your own rooms and chambers.
+
+Other than that, no one immediately seems to be
+noticing. Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Not command ops in the tavern hall.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s call that a–
+
+LAURA: 14!
+
+TALIESIN: 14, thank you.
+
+MATT: You do see Yorda, the barkeep, in the
+process of wiping out some glasses at the end,
+
+she’s occasionally giving a glance over to you
+guys as you’re walking around.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) You go first!
+
+TRAVIS: You want to come with?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t do anything stupid. Mouth shut, eyes
+forward. Show me how you walk. Maybe a little
+
+less. That’s nice. I also assume a little limp,
+slight.
+
+MATT: I’ll say for the purpose of this, each of
+you make a performance check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, god.
+
+TRAVIS: 20.
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+MATT: Okay. The both of you exit out, holding your
+breath. Out of your peripheral you can see the
+
+deep reds and golds of the crownsguard armor
+flanking you as you breach the outer porch of the
+
+tavern, stepping down into the dust to the main
+street. You curve to the left and see nor hear any
+
+reaction from either of them.
+
+TRAVIS: Just keep moving to the other side of the
+street.
+
+TALIESIN: I go single just a little bit after, and
+I rolled a natural 20.
+
+SAM: Is that three for the night?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+SAM: Oh my god.
+
+TRAVIS: What color is that die?
+
+TALIESIN: It seems to be iron, like my will.
+
+MATT: It may not have been the snitch after all,
+you asshole.
+
+TALIESIN: Me and my magic swords.
+
+MATT: Apparently. All right, you saunter by
+without an issue. By saunter, I mean you stumble
+
+through. You hear a cough at one point, and it
+causes you a moment, but you just continue on
+
+without notice.
+
+LAURA: Oh, everybody’s leaving and I didn’t have a
+partner!
+
+MARISHA: It’s fine, don’t worry about it.
+
+SAM: You can come with us, if you like.
+
+LAURA: But I feel like you guys are noticeable and
+why would I be this really beautiful woman leaving
+
+with the stinky guy?
+
+SAM: It’s quickly becoming canon that you just
+have shit smeared all over you. You could travel
+
+with me! I could be your daughter.
+
+LAURA: You’re my daughter!
+
+SAM: Yes! We’re a couple, and he’s our guard or
+something, I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! You leave after us Caleb, okay?
+
+LIAM: Isn’t it simpler for you to walk on yourself
+like a beautiful woman?
+
+LAURA: No, me and Nott are going to go together.
+Okay, come on, Nott!
+
+SAM: I’m sorry, she’s very forward.
+
+LAURA: Come on sweetie, let’s go.
+
+SAM: Yes, mommy!
+
+LAURA: And we walk out.
+
+MATT: You guys don’t have to make a performance
+check because you’ve exited before, and you’re
+
+completely visually a different individual, so you
+guys pass through without an issue. Caleb, you can
+
+follow up behind, as you are not currently under
+direct guard in the tavern. They do notice you
+
+exit, and they’re aware of your presence, but you
+are not confined to the tavern. So you guys all
+
+manage to slowly come together a few blocks down
+and out of the sight of the crownsguard guarding
+
+the Nestled Nook Inn, and where are you off to?
+
+LAURA: We did it! Where should we go?
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s just keep walking for now.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Should we walk toward the carnival
+where the zombies were?
+
+TALIESIN: Who was he, would be my question.
+
+LAURA: Oh, right. We should find out where he’s
+from. How do we do that? Should we ask around and
+
+say hey, anybody know where the old guy came from
+that turned into a zombie?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a good point.
+
+TALIESIN: Seems to be the most appropriate thing
+to ask at this point.
+
+LIAM: Well, we could find some public places and
+just gossip a bit, see if anybody has heard of
+
+him, if a friend has died at the circus last
+night.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, you mentioned no sick people. If
+he was sick, sometimes that word gets around.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe there is a morgue, maybe they
+recognized him.
+
+TALIESIN: These small towns, most everyone knows
+everybody else.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go to, is there a market area?
+
+MATT: They don’t have a large bazaar, but there is
+an area that is generally where a lot of the
+
+simple wares and vegetables and meats and people
+who sell small things that they craft their own
+
+at, it’s a small market. If you want to make an
+investigation check.
+
+LAURA: 16.
+
+MATT: Okay, by going around asking questions and
+inquiring and trying to prod people to talk about
+
+what transpired the night before, the information
+you gather involves the man who passed away. His
+
+name is Enon Brinjay.
+
+LIAM: Grimjay?
+
+MATT: Brinjay. He’s a standard human being in his
+early 80s. He’s old, but healthy, it seemed.
+
+TRAVIS: Was he in good health?
+
+MATT: Seemed to be in good health for his age.
+
+LIAM: So our war against the old continues.
+
+MATT: Apparently.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re the Logan’s Run of D&D.
+
+MATT: He seemed to have been retired for quite
+some time, but had been making little bits here
+
+and there, helping the fishermen move fish to and
+from the outside of the lake. He wasn’t really
+
+well known. The reason people are talking about
+him now is because the word is gotten around and
+
+gossiped about, but for the most part, he was one
+of the many faceless people that live in the town.
+
+A handful knew his name.
+
+TALIESIN: Retired fisherman?
+
+MARISHA: He was helping.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we know where he was retired from and
+where he was staying, maybe where he was drinking?
+
+He had to go somewhere.
+
+MATT: Actually, he was known often to be drinking
+at The Old Mud Hole Tavern.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that with the weird “e” spelling?
+
+MATT: No, just “old.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m always a fan.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+LAURA: “Ye olde.”
+
+TALIESIN: “Ye olde” It’s pronounced “the” when you
+see the ye.
+
+TRAVIS: I should point out this is the second
+connection to the Ustaloch.
+
+TALIESIN: The what?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, before we met up with you two, we
+fought off a wicked, sick water snake.
+
+LAURA: It came up out of the lake for some
+reason.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this a metaphor or is this actually a
+real thing?
+
+LAURA: It really happened. I almost died.
+
+MARISHA: I punched a snake to death.
+
+LAURA: She did.
+
+SAM: There were the snakes in the circus last
+night, but it wasn’t related to the attack, I
+
+suppose.
+
+LAURA: A little different.
+
+LIAM: How long of a snake are we talking about?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it was a giant water snake, then the
+little girls were complaining about more and more
+
+instances of these snakes coming out of the lake.
+
+SAM: And this fellow who died worked with the
+fishermen in the lake?
+
+LAURA: Well, he took some jobs with them. Did
+anybody see him the day of the carnival? Was he
+
+working with anyone that day?
+
+MATT: You don’t find any of that information. That
+would be an intense investigation. You would have
+
+to go beyond asking questions around a market.
+
+SAM: Is the lake within the city limits?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: It’s technically considered part of the
+city. It might not be an issue.
+
+LAURA: Where’s Ye Olde Mud Hole Tavern at?
+
+MATT: The Mud Hole Tavern, you’ve been to before.
+
+TALIESIN: I was doing my rounds.
+
+MATT: Yeah, when you first entered the city, so
+you can–
+
+MARISHA: The Lochward, is that what we’re talking
+about?
+
+MATT: The Lochward is where the Old Mud Hole would
+be at. The Lochward is to the eastern side of the
+
+entire city. The Lochward is the central one.
+
+LIAM: The wards border the lake.
+
+MATT: So you make your way to the Old Mud Hole.
+Entering inside, this is a dark dive of a bar,
+
+you’ve been there once before. It smells heavily
+of old, wet wood, ale stains, and peanut. It’s a
+
+very small area and of the four tables that are
+there, they are mostly empty, except for one old
+
+man who is sitting there in the process of playing
+a game of solitaire with his cards and a man in
+
+his 30s thumbing through a book, who would be the
+barkeep if there were more patrons at the moment.
+
+He’s flipping through and glances up and gives you
+a look as you enter. “Can I help you? Are you
+
+"looking for drinks? Can I get you anything?”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I would really love a drink and I sit
+down next to him. What do you have? I need
+
+something heavier than a trost. I’ve had enough
+trosts to last me a lifetime.
+
+MATT: “We have liquor.”
+
+LIAM: I will take your liquor.
+
+MATT: “I will get some whiskey for you then.
+Whiskey, everyone?”
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+SAM: Two please.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay. She’s my daughter. She loves
+whiskey. I don’t even remember what voice I was doing.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: I let her have any whiskey she wants. Oh,
+that’s pretty good. 17.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve been doing a pub crawl.
+
+MATT: He goes and lines up a few small containers,
+fills whiskey for all of you. “All right, that
+
+"will be eight silver for the batch.”
+
+LIAM: I have that. I pull out eight silver. Oh
+wait, silver, did you say? I do not have eight
+
+silver.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay. I have it.
+
+LIAM: You do?
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+(high-pitched voice) I mean, sure.
+
+MATT: He takes the silver and puts it away, slides
+the drinks to the rest of you and goes back to his
+
+book and starts thumbing through again.
+
+LIAM: Honestly, it’s been a terrible 24 hours. We
+were at the circus last night and I did not know
+
+him well, but old man Brinjay fell.
+
+MATT: He looks up and goes, “Enon, it’s sad to see
+him go and many of us were wondering what day it
+
+"was going to be.”
+
+LIAM: Did you know him?
+
+MATT: “He came in here most every day to drink.
+He’s a lonely man.”
+
+LIAM: It was a terrible way to go. I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: “Doesn’t bother me one way or the other.
+Just sad to lose a patron.”
+
+LAURA: Do you know who was talking to him the day
+of the carnival?
+
+MATT: “I don’t recall. Sometimes he would tell
+stories to whoever was willing to listen and not
+
+"most were willing to listen.”
+
+LAURA: Was he here that day?
+
+MATT: “Yesterday?”
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “I think he came in briefly for a drink
+before the carnival, but that was it.”
+
+MARISHA: You know, we should drink to old stories
+of Brinjay.
+
+TRAVIS: (shushes)
+
+TALIESIN: I down my shot. What did the man drink
+out of curiosity? What was his final drink? I’m a
+
+bit of a macabre person myself.
+
+MATT: “It’s this very whiskey you just had.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take one more, and I’ll get one of
+my own.
+
+LIAM: I heard he was sick, too.
+
+MATT: “I don’t believe he was ill. I hope not. He
+seemed to be rather wasting away. You shouldn’t be
+
+doing so much manual labor at that age.”
+
+SAM: What labor was he doing?
+
+MATT: “He carries stuff around from small tasks
+to–
+
+SAM: Down at the docks?
+
+MATT: "The docks, up at the North Ward. He carried
+crates, boxes. Just odd jobs, ways to get by ‘til
+
+"the end of his days, which now that they’ve come,
+may he rest and not have to do odd jobs ever
+
+"again.” He pours his own bit of whiskey.
+
+ALL: Cheers.
+
+LAURA: Do you know who he was doing odd jobs for
+that day?
+
+SAM: Your lady voice is worse than mine.
+
+MATT: “To be honest, if he did, I wasn’t paying
+attention.”
+
+LIAM: I’m sure his family will miss him very
+much.
+
+MATT: “There’s nobody nearby. He had a son about
+35 years ago, but he got married and went up
+
+"north.”
+
+TRAVIS: Did he work for any of the particular
+breweries around?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. Maybe.”
+
+MARISHA: Brinjay.
+
+LAURA: Where did he sit in here?
+
+MATT: He points over to the not the table the guy
+is playing solitaire on, but the empty table to
+
+the right of him. “Usually right there in the
+corner.”
+
+LAURA: I go sit in the corner. I’m going to look
+for anything I can find that looks like an old man was
+
+touching it.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m really good at these. 12.
+
+MATT: 12. It looks like probably old person
+touching has been all over here. Yes. The table is
+
+very old and warped in places, stains all over it.
+It’s not a very good table. It’s seen some rough
+
+days.
+
+TRAVIS: If we were to go down to the docks and ask
+after a few people he worked with, is there anyone
+
+you know that we should speak to, familiar of
+his?
+
+MATT: “I apologize. I served him drinks and
+pretended to listen to him many times, but I
+
+"wasn’t really paying attention.”
+
+TRAVIS: I understand that.
+
+MARISHA: Is there anyone who did? That wasn’t
+hypothetical.
+
+MATT: “Maybe. I apologize. I spend most of my days
+reading.” He lifts the book.
+
+MARISHA: What’s the book?
+
+SAM: You read!
+
+LIAM: Subtle, guys.
+
+TALIESIN: We got a reader. While they’re doing
+this, I’m going to saunter over to the card
+
+player.
+
+LIAM: Can I see what’s on the spine of that book
+from where I am?
+
+MATT: At a glance at it, it’s in Zemnian, which
+you can read. The translation would come about to
+
+The Rosed Embrace.
+
+MARISHA: A romance novel.
+
+MATT: Probably.
+
+LAURA: Is Fabio on the cover?
+
+LIAM: How’s your trashy novel? Is it a good one? No
+judgement.
+
+MATT: “It’s not trashy. It’s very tasteful.”
+
+LIAM: Oh no, I’m fluent in Zemnian. I’ve read all
+of his works.
+
+MATT: “Have you?”
+
+LIAM: Mutual fan.
+
+MATT: “I didn’t realize there was another Samuel
+fan in here. Which is your favorite?”
+
+LIAM: I love the Farthing’s Embrace.
+
+MATT: “I haven’t read that one.”
+
+LIAM: It’s an early one. He actually did it under
+a pseudonym. He did a whole series under that
+
+pseudonym, short stories.
+
+MATT: “What is it again?” He goes over and grabs a
+piece of chalk in the back and starts, “It was–?”
+
+LIAM: Farthing’s Embrace.
+
+MATT: “Mein Gott, I did not know about this. I may
+have to send out Zadash and see if we can find
+
+"some of those books. Thank you.”
+
+LIAM: You’re a big reader or just Samuel?
+
+MATT: “Just recently Samuel. I read on occasion.
+It depends on what you can find.”
+
+LIAM: I read a lot, but all I’ve been able to find
+in this town is that parchment place.
+
+MATT: “The parchment place is good for trash. If
+you’re looking for unique stuff, there’s a few
+
+"places you can go.”
+
+LIAM: Here in town?
+
+MATT: “Here in town, yeah. If you’re having a hard
+time finding a specific book, I would recommend
+
+"going to Burnished Bibelots.”
+
+LIAM: Burnished Bibelots. Which ward is that in?
+
+MATT: “That is in the North Ward, just on the
+outskirts of the main market street. It’s a bit of
+
+"a cluttered mess, but Oglen would be happy to help
+you.
+
+LIAM: Oglen?
+
+MATT: "Oglen.”
+
+LIAM: That is good to know. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Not to worry.”
+
+LIAM: Those are hard to find, the Farthing’s
+Embrace.
+
+MATT: “I imagine so. It can’t be that bad.”
+
+LIAM: He wasn’t as proud of them. Early work and
+all that.
+
+MATT: “Of course. I have a contact in Rexxentrum.
+If I cannot find it in Zadash, I will get it from Rexxentrum.”
+
+LIAM: That would be the place.
+
+MATT: “What’s your name?”
+
+LIAM: My name is Caleb.
+
+MATT: “Caleb. Pleasure to meet you. I am Vosna.”
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for the drink, Vosna. I’ll be
+taking my leave now.
+
+MATT: “Of course. If anybody else is a reader as
+well, come by and talk sometime.”
+
+TALIESIN: Not there at all.
+
+LIAM: This has been quite a day.
+
+LAURA: Is there pictures?
+(in high-pitched voice) Is there pictures?
+
+MATT: “Pictures are up in here.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Sounds exciting.
+
+LIAM: I sneak my undrunk whiskey to Nott.
+
+SAM: I take out my flask from my leg, unscrew it,
+and pour it in.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: What do you guys think? Should we stay
+here? Should we go somewhere else?
+
+TRAVIS: We got to get Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I just sat down for a moment with this
+solitaire player.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: They say that solitaire is the game for
+the death-obsessed. There’s inevitability to every
+
+hand, most of them are doomed from the start no
+matter what you do. Any interest to buck fate and
+
+try your hand at an opponent for once? No money,
+just friendly.
+
+I slide the rest of my whiskey over.
+
+MATT: “Are you a devil?”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been called worse.
+
+MATT: “I don’t play with devils.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just a man who saw another man die
+yesterday. It’s been heavy on my conscience and I
+
+was just wondering if there was anything you could
+tell me about Enon.
+
+MATT: “Enon wanted to go to that bloody circus.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m regretting it myself.
+
+MATT: “I told him not to go. Stupid, it is for the
+common folk and the young. He’s always had his
+
+"head in the clouds.”
+
+TALIESIN: Has he? That’s not what other people
+have said.
+
+MATT: “Other people are stupid.”
+
+TALIESIN: Why do you think he went? Why do you
+think that happened to him?
+
+MATT: “He’s lonely. Don’t trust the carnival.
+Nothing but spooks and magicians and things that
+
+"want to take your life and take your money, take
+your family, whisk you away. Fuck the circus.”
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck the circus. So that’s what you
+think happened to him, then? I feel like there’s
+
+something evil afoot.
+
+MATT: “Says the devil.”
+
+TALIESIN: Again, I’ve been called worse. Sure you
+have in your time, as well.
+
+MATT: He takes the drink, sips it. “Don’t come
+‘round here no more.”
+
+TALIESIN: I take my cup back. Down it. I love
+small towns.
+
+MARISHA: Shithead.
+
+TRAVIS: We head outside. Well, that was
+revealing.
+
+SAM: Was it?
+
+MARISHA: We learned a few things, actually. He’s a
+prime target. Perfect victim, perfect candidate.
+
+No one really paid attention to him, he was old,
+he had no family, his son’s gone.
+
+TALIESIN: Awfully convenient.
+
+MARISHA: Awfully convenient. Still awfully
+convenient that your little circus doesn’t allow
+
+the elderly, which you never fully explained, and
+he happened to be one of the oldest people in that
+
+circus. Where did that rule come from?
+The sick makes sense, I asked you that
+
+before, but why elderly?
+
+TALIESIN: That rule’s been around for as long as I
+can remember because it makes people think the
+
+show’s dangerous. Gives them a thrill.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re worried about them having a heart
+attack or something?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re not really worried about people
+having a heart attack; we want people to be
+
+worried about having a heart attack, because then
+they’re more excited to come see the show. This is
+
+how these shows work.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know who implemented that rule?
+
+TALIESIN: Before my time.
+
+LAURA: In his defense, every carnival I’ve gone to
+has said no sick people, no old people.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a boilerplate.
+
+MARISHA: Still a good candidate.
+
+TALIESIN: If you were trying to hide doing
+something to someone it’s a great candidate. If I
+
+was trying to get away with something, terrible
+idea.
+
+MARISHA: Or if you were trying to frame someone.
+Seems to be a lot of pretty bigoted people in this
+
+town who don’t like tieflings and other strange
+lots. Jester, you actually said one of the
+
+smartest things of the night, which is– you did,
+yeah. Which is, guard’s really weird.
+
+LAURA: Right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, what?
+
+LAURA: The guards are really weird.
+
+MARISHA: The Crownsguards. As you were saying, the
+Ustaloch?
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of weird?
+
+LAURA: Like, you know, they– What kind of weird?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: They seem to be the one connecting
+through-line. Also, what’s her name, Norda?
+
+Mentioned that she didn’t want to let you lot in,
+but made an exception. I don’t know, if I wanted
+
+to do something, and if I already knew a bunch of
+people were upset and angry at a circus and
+
+strange people coming in, it’s easy framing, in my
+opinion.
+
+TRAVIS: She makes a valid point, actually.
+
+LAURA. Oh. If people are scared of carnivals, they
+won’t want them in the future.
+
+TRAVIS: Bingo.
+
+MARISHA: That, or if you’re up to no good and you
+don’t want to get caught, blame it on the easy
+
+frame. The weirdos who just rolled into town.
+
+LAURA: Great, so we just need to investigate the
+guards.
+
+TRAVIS: That might be harder to do. Maybe we go
+down to the Lochward.
+
+TALIESIN: Start at the docks, but I’ll keep that
+in mind.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, it might not be the
+guards. There might be another through-line
+
+that we’re missing.
+
+LAURA: Do we need to question the guards?
+
+SAM: That sounds terrible.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should tell them they can’t leave
+town.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, that’s a good idea, yeah! Maybe when
+they question us–
+
+LAURA: We turn it around!
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: I like that.
+
+TALIESIN: I was about– nope, nevermind.
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: I was about to be very impressed, but I
+take it back.
+
+MARISHA: Aw.
+
+TRAVIS: How far is it from where we are to the
+Lochward?
+
+MATT: You guys are technically in the Lochward.
+It’s a quick jaunt over to the edge of the Ustaloch.
+
+MARISHA: So the Ustaloch is the docks? It’s what
+they called the ward, or it’s the lake?
+
+MATT: It’s the giant lake that the docks are up
+against. The city is built against this giant,
+
+kidney bean-shaped lake.
+
+MARISHA: What does “usta” mean? What does “usta”
+come from?
+
+MATT: Do you speak Zemnian?
+
+MARISHA: You speak Zemnian.
+
+LIAM: I do speak Zemnian.
+
+TALIESIN: What does “usta” mean?
+
+LIAM: It means–
+
+MATT: Do you know?
+
+LIAM: Do I know?
+
+MATT: I just wanted to fuck with you.
+
+LIAM: It’s been a while, but osten means lake. No,
+it’s not Lake Lake.
+
+MATT: Essentially, it just means “an east lake.”
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: East Lake.
+
+TALIESIN: Very good.
+
+MATT: Not too complicated.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d like to avoid the guards for as long
+as possible.
+
+MARISHA: Agreed.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s head down to the docks. Keeping an
+eye out for crownsguard.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way towards the
+Ustaloch and the Dockward there, we’ll go and take
+
+a break. We’ll be back in a few minutes. We’ll
+continue to unveil this mystery.
+
+SAM: This is exciting. Gripping.
+
+MATT: Indeed. I suppose. Little low level mystery
+here. We’ll see where this goes. All right guys,
+
+back here in a few minutes. We’re going to take a
+quick restroom break, pick it up from here. We
+
+have video at the break for this week’s contest,
+so if you’re watching on Twitch, feel free to go
+
+ahead and pay attention to get the password and
+enter this contest, and we’ll have the victor at
+
+the end of the break. We’ll be back here in a few
+minutes, and we’ll see you then.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everyone. Before we dive in,
+real fast, we do have a winner from the chat.
+
+Thanks, Sam. Congratulations to AvilynRain,
+AvilynRain in the Twitch chat! You won the awesome
+
+Wyrmwood prize package. Danoba will be in contact
+with you to get your contact information and get
+
+that sent out to you. Congratulations.
+
+MARISHA: I love how we just went through every
+rain song in about 30 seconds.
+
+MATT: Yeah we did! Most of them. As you guys make
+your way across the streets of the Lochward, you
+
+find yourself to the docks, which are about five
+or six main dock structures that protrude anywhere
+
+from ten to 30 or so feet into the loch itself.
+There are no major ships. The biggest river that
+
+exits the loch heads towards the mountains, so
+there is no direct path to the inlet. All the
+
+boats in here are small fishermen’s boats; they’re
+designed specifically for the lake, for freshwater
+
+fishing and whatever needs to be transferred from
+bank to bank. As you approach, you can see a good
+
+amount of the boats are still out on the water.
+You can look out and see the outline of them
+
+against the horizon. You see a couple of small
+landmasses in the center of the loch, that are
+
+barely out of view. You approach, and the first
+couple of fishermen that walk past you both look
+
+to be hardened in their years. Their skin is very
+battered by the sun, it’s wrinkled and dark from
+
+constant beating of the sky upon them. They glance
+over at this unique-looking troupe as they
+
+approach. They stop and don’t say anything, they
+just look at you like “What are you doing here?”
+
+LAURA: Do we still have Disguise Self up?
+
+MATT: You have it for maybe ten more minutes.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we see any King’s Guard? Crownsguard?
+
+MATT: Crownsguard? Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: 11.
+
+TRAVIS: 11, same.
+
+MATT: Glancing about, you don’t see any
+crownsguard in the immediate vicinity of the
+
+Lochward. You’ve seen them, they patrol the town
+and walk through, ward to ward, but you don’t see
+
+any at the moment, no.
+
+LAURA: Looks like we’re ahead of them in the
+investigation.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester. Do you happen to remember
+the name of that guy whose daughter we saved from
+
+the snake?
+
+LAURA: Oh shit.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Let’s see if I wrote it down in my
+sketchbook.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, because I didn’t write it down.
+
+LAURA: King Bertrand?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+LAURA: Okay. What about– no, I know that guy.
+Nope, I didn’t.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it.
+
+MATT: You remember where he lives, mostly, because
+you were there.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+LAURA: We could go by there.
+
+MARISHA: We could go by. He seems to like us.
+
+LAURA: He worked out there, right?
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way along the edge of the
+loch to the outside of the fisherman’s house. The
+
+house is currently being repaired. You can see in
+the main doorway, the door is off the hinges, and
+
+there’s a large pile of ruined furniture and
+cabinets that have been shifted out of the
+
+building. You can also see a long serpentine
+body that is currently being skinned by a younger
+
+man, probably 14 or 15. He’s in the process of
+carving the skin off of it. This thing is about 20
+
+to 25 feet long.
+
+MARISHA: That’s the snake I punched.
+
+LIAM: That’s your work? That’s impressive. You
+took it all by yourself?
+
+MARISHA: Well, no. They helped me. I’m not an
+egomaniac. They fucking helped me.
+
+LIAM: But I saw your guns last night. You probably
+took the lead.
+
+MARISHA: Give credit to the whole damn group, move
+on.
+
+TRAVIS: Flattery got you nowhere.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m comparing the snake to the snake
+that’s tattooed on my hand to try and get the
+
+heads to be the exact same size.
+
+LIAM: We have been in the woods for too long. I’ve
+forgotten how to talk to people.
+
+SAM: Your game is really suffering.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks for the damn compliment.
+
+MATT: As you approach, the young man with this
+large, sharpened knife– it looks like it may have
+
+been a heavy butchering knife that he’s using to
+fillet and pull the skin off the snake. Looks back
+
+at you guys and doesn’t know what’s going on. You
+hear a voice go, “Hey!” You look up and you see
+
+the fisherman that you saw before, the one who
+came to you guys in the tavern. He’s up on top of
+
+the roof, and he’s currently boarding some
+portions of it. It looks like a part of the roof
+
+had been damaged in the fray. He goes, “Hold on,”
+gets up, and comes down the ladder on the side and
+
+approaches. You can see he’s sweating. “I’m so
+sorry, I didn’t know you were coming. What can I
+
+"do for you?”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry for dropping in.
+
+LAURA: Do we look like ourselves yet?
+
+MATT: No, actually. This is an interesting point.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn it.
+
+SAM: Wait. None of you look the same.
+
+MATT: That’s right, no, thank you for reminding
+me. He comes out and he goes, “How can I help
+
+"you?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: It’s us!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s me. I pull the hat off and
+pull my hair up. It’s Beauregard. We killed your
+
+snake?
+
+LAURA: (in normal voice) Pretend that I don’t
+talk– (in human accent) Pretend that I don’t talk
+
+like this.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck it, I drop Disguise Self.
+
+MATT: He goes,“Ah!”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry to deceive you.
+
+MATT: I’m very confused.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no. Don’t worry about it. What was
+your name, friend?
+
+MATT: “Rinaldo.”
+
+MARISHA: Rinaldo! That’s what it was. I knew it
+was an R! Okay, Rinaldo.
+
+TRAVIS: Rinaldo, this snake that was in your house
+is not the only strange occurrence that’s been
+
+happening. We’re trying to find out the cause of
+it. Have you seen anything else like this in the
+
+time that’s passed?
+
+MATT: “No, we’ve been doing repairs on the house
+and getting everything underway. This is the first
+
+"thing that’s come on this side. Most of them live
+toward the center of the lake and stay underwater.
+
+"It’s been two in the last few months that have
+come up. It’s a bit of a nuisance.”
+
+LAURA: Have you seen any zombies coming out of the
+lake?
+
+MATT: “Zombies? What are you talking about?”
+
+TRAVIS: We’re asking after a man that helped down
+at the docks, named Enon. Have you heard of him?
+
+MATT: “Enon?”
+
+TRAVIS: Enon.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, I worked with him a couple times. He
+comes through, looking for work, asking to see
+
+what’s available.”
+
+LIAM: You obviously have not heard the news from
+the traveling circus in town. From last night.
+
+MATT: “No. That’s the big blue tent, right?”
+
+LIAM: That’s correct.
+
+MATT: “No, what’s going on?”
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Enon turned into a zombie.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+LAURA: (louder) Enon turned into a zombie!
+(whispering) And was killed.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible.
+Wow, that’s really terrible. I’m sorry.”
+
+TRAVIS: We were trying to see if he might have
+worked with people that might have known what he
+
+was doing that day, earlier.
+
+MATT: “I haven’t seen him at the docks in a while.
+Not for a week, at least.”
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Really?
+
+LIAM: Is there anything out of the ordinary from
+the past week or two that comes to mind? Anything
+
+off about the run-of-the-mill stuff?
+
+MATT: “Other than a giant fucking snake ruining my
+house, but not that comes to mind, no. Circus
+
+"coming into town, that’s a little weird.”
+
+TRAVIS: I see you’re skinning the beast. Can I ask
+why?
+
+MATT: “I’m not going to let it go to waste. That’s
+some good meat. Some good skin.”
+
+MARISHA: You mentioned the circus coming to town
+as weird. Why?
+
+MATT: “Because there’s a circus in town.”
+
+LIAM: He just means out of the ordinary, yeah?
+
+MATT: “Yeah. We don’t get many shows and traveling
+folk. Last time this was here, a year ago, it came
+
+"and went in a week.”
+
+SAM: You said you hadn’t seen this– hi. You said
+you hadn’t seen this person in a week? Was that
+
+unusual?
+
+MATT: “No. I didn’t keep up with him. He came
+through every now and then. I had a little cash
+
+"and needed some help hauling things around. I
+asked for his assistance. He was an old fella, and
+
+"it was less that he was helpful and more that we
+wanted to help when we could.”
+
+TRAVIS: If we went down to the docks where he
+worked, is there anyone that we should ask for, to
+
+speak to, who might have known him better?
+
+MATT: “Your guess is as good as mine. To be fair,
+although we’re a community, we’re also relatively
+
+"competitive. You understand.”
+
+TRAVIS: I do.
+
+TALIESIN: You think anyone would have wanted him
+marked or harmed in some way?
+
+MATT: “I don’t think so. He’s an old man. I
+haven’t seen or heard anyone– his disposition
+
+"seemed positive enough, if a little sad and
+lonely.”
+
+TRAVIS: If you think of anything, or if you hear
+anyone speak about him, you can find us at the
+
+Nestled Nook Inn. We’d appreciate anything, if it
+happens to reach your ears.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Let me finish up here with the
+roof and I’ll ask around, see if anything comes up.”
+
+TRAVIS: Much obliged.
+
+MARISHA: How’s your little girl doing? Sorry, I
+cover my beard.
+
+MATT: “It just wasn’t expected.”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: “No, she’s doing great. She’s been a little
+spooked, but she slept well last night. She’s
+
+"doing fine. Thank you again for what you guys did
+for me.”
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome.
+
+SAM: What? For what?
+
+LAURA: We saved a little girl!
+
+SAM: Oh yes, that’s right.
+
+LAURA: If you see any zombies, please let us
+know.
+
+MATT: “I will. You were so kind to help me when I
+saw a snake, I figure if I see a zombie, you’d
+
+"also be helpful.”
+
+LAURA: We would, definitely. We already killed a
+zombie too!
+
+TALIESIN: This is just a snake. This is a big,
+weird snake I’m looking at?
+
+MATT: You can inspect it if you want.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’ve been looking at the snake this
+entire time.
+
+LAURA: Oh, we have one of its fangs. I pulled it
+out.
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+SAM: Ooh, don’t do those much either.
+
+MARISHA: I have a fang too, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine? You don’t know much about snake
+biology. It’s hard to tell if it’s out of the
+
+ordinary. It’s just a big snake.
+
+TALIESIN: Looks like mine.
+
+LAURA: Only bigger.
+
+TALIESIN: Much bigger.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we?
+
+LAURA: Fuck. Sure.
+
+SAM: We are the best detectives ever.
+
+LAURA: I feel like we are really doing bad at this
+detective thing.
+
+TRAVIS: We should probably wrap up whatever we’re
+doing. I imagine they’re going to come by the inn
+
+soon and try and speak with us. Not you two.
+
+SAM: We didn’t leave any sort of Ferris Bueller-y
+thing?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. No stuffed beds, no recordings on
+the old VHS.
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing? Where are you
+going?
+
+SAM: Is there anywhere else that we need to
+inspect? The carnival or more docks stuff?
+
+LAURA: I feel like going back to the carnival is
+probably a bad idea.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d say the docks are his home, if we
+could figure out where he lived.
+
+SAM: Where he was last seen.
+
+TALIESIN: He was last seen at the circus!
+
+LAURA: Rinaldo!
+
+MATT: “Yeah?”
+
+LAURA: Do you know where Enon lives?
+
+MATT: “I can’t say I do. I’m sorry. My apologies.
+Wish I could be of more help.”
+
+LAURA: It’s okay.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t happen to know what happened
+to his son, by any chance?
+
+MATT: “I didn’t even know he had a son.”
+
+LAURA: See? We’re better investigators than this
+guy.
+
+SAM: But he’s not trying to investigate!
+
+TALIESIN: I take the compliment. I’m putting it my
+pocket. I’m keeping it for later.
+
+MATT: He climbs back up the ladder to the roof.
+
+MARISHA: I’m starting to think that following
+Enon’s story isn’t necessarily going to lead us
+
+here. He seems like a random victim.
+
+LAURA: Hey, 14 year old kid!
+
+MATT: He has this puffy red ‘fro going on. He
+looks pale, fresh to this, scrawny. He’s stopped
+
+drawing his blade across the snake. “Yeah?”
+
+LAURA: Do you live here?
+
+MATT: “No, I live about three houses up.”
+
+LAURA: Did you go to the carnival?
+
+MATT: “Last night? Yeah, I was there.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, where were you at the carnival?
+
+MATT: “I actually snuck in under the tent after it
+had started.”
+
+LAURA: Right, that’s a good thing. Were you close
+to Enon? In the show. Were you on that side or the
+
+other side? Did you see the zombie?
+
+MATT: “I saw him a little bit. He was in the front
+and I had people in front of me, but I think I saw
+
+"some of it. It was pretty cool.”
+
+LAURA: It was kind of crazy, right? Have you heard
+any ghost stories around town lately? About scary
+
+things happening?
+
+MATT: “My grandma told me a ghost story years ago
+about these giant badger creatures that live on
+
+"the hills of the Ashkeeper that can stand up on
+their hind legs, and they come down and they eat
+
+"kids that don’t go to bed in time.”
+
+LAURA: Oh shit. Those guys are scary, I’ve heard
+of them. You should be really careful. Have you
+
+heard anything about zombies?
+
+MATT: “No, not since that.”
+
+LIAM: What’s up?
+
+LAURA: Caleb has seen some shit.
+
+MATT: “I have to finish the–”
+
+LAURA: Hey, listen, if you hear any other ghost
+stories, you come and find us, okay?
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Are we just going from person to person
+in town telling them to come find us?
+
+SAM: We are really terrible at this!
+
+TALIESIN: Well, she’s making friends with
+everybody. I don’t see any of you making friends.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a little concerned that we’ve been
+gone for a while.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, maybe we should get back.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe let these two, that aren’t under
+house arrest–
+
+SAM: Continue the investigation? Or go back?
+
+TRAVIS: No, continue. I mean, if you’re up for
+it.
+
+SAM: Yeah, yeah, We’ll be a regular–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’ve done nothing wrong. We’re not
+sweating it. I’m not sweating–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I believe you completely. That was
+very believable. I’m going to give you another
+
+blessing before you leave, okay?
+
+LIAM: What are you talking about? None of us did
+anything. None of us! We protected the people of
+
+this town!
+
+LAURA: It’s true.
+
+LIAM: It is true.
+
+LAURA: I know.
+
+LIAM: That’s easy. Let’s go solve a mystery,
+Nott.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: Were you being sarcastic– oh, no you
+weren’t, okay. Catching up on that.
+
+MARISHA: So, kids don’t know anything about this,
+old people don’t know anything about this–
+
+TRAVIS: Tavern-keeper doesn’t know anything about
+this.
+
+TALIESIN: Only the pure of heart make their answer
+out of riddles. Back to the tavern.
+
+MARISHA: But pure of heart! Still going back to
+the guards thing! Back to the tavern, let’s go.
+
+SAM: Were we just on the docks?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys were at the docks.
+
+LIAM: We came up with bupkus.
+
+LAURA: We didn’t ask anybody, we went straight to
+the house.
+
+SAM: Okay, we’ll walk around the docks and look
+for–
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll see you back at the inn.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LAURA: Should we run back, or should we saunter
+back?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to probably, you know,
+poof.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, how much time does she have?
+
+LIAM: About a minute?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s about to fade.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I figured it had already happened
+probably midway talking to the kid.
+
+MATT: Probably.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe super stealthily back?
+
+LAURA: All right. I put my hood up.
+
+TALIESIN: I can maybe put a rope through the
+window.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Is it a two-story?
+
+MATT: It’s a two-story. You guys are up in the
+second story.
+
+TALIESIN: I got rope.
+
+LAURA: Let’s do that, yeah. We’ll sneak around the
+back of the inn, and try to climb up the upstairs
+
+window.
+
+TRAVIS: I can keep them busy at the front door.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go through the front like a proper
+person.
+
+MATT: All right, so you guys are setting up a rope
+to climb up the back? You go in, on your own, up
+
+to the top, you put a rope through–
+
+MARISHA: Fjord’s distracting.
+
+LAURA: In the front. Then we’re going to try to
+sneak–
+
+TALIESIN: Right, and then I’m going to drop some
+of the rope out the back window for them.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do, so those of you who want
+to wait and can take the rope up, you wait for a
+
+moment where nobody’s watching and climb your way
+up into the inn safely and get to your rooms. You
+
+two, what are you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: (singing) 50 feet of hemp rope, it’s a
+standard!
+
+LIAM: Hey kiddo, do you want a piggy-back?
+
+SAM: Sure, that sounds like a good idea.
+
+LIAM: Scramble up, let’s go talk to some people.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll jump on Caleb’s back.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LIAM: I’ll wander down to where people are
+working. Where people are moving crates around.
+
+MARISHA: He’s on Caleb’s back!
+
+MATT: Okay, that would be probably closer to the
+Northward.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so that’s the plan, is to look for
+people moving crap around, the same way that Enon
+
+is said to have. So that’s what we’ll do.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+SAM: Shall I help, or no?
+
+MATT: If you want to.
+
+LIAM: Not that great.
+
+MATT: You aiding him would give him an advantage
+in the roll.
+
+LIAM: Oh! That didn’t help. 12 for me.
+
+MATT: You take a couple hours wandering through
+the Northward, asking questions, and most of the
+
+information you get is, they have no idea who that
+is, or like, “Ah, he died? It’s about time.”
+
+LIAM: And there’s no point even asking questions
+because we’ve asked them all for two hours, yeah?
+
+MATT: I’d say yeah, based on that roll.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well that’s a big zero. You want to go
+book shopping with me?
+
+SAM: Sure!
+
+LIAM: Okay. I believe that gentleman said that the
+Burnished Bibliots was in the Northward, correct?
+
+MATT: I believe you are correct. Yeah, it’s in the
+southern portion of the Northward by where it
+
+borders the Lochward.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so I’ll start asking questions to get
+us there.
+
+MATT: Easily enough. You eventually are led to it,
+and you come to a closet that’s affixed to another
+
+building. The wood used are almost driftwood and
+heavily weathered, and the front door is closed as
+
+you approach. It looks like a glorified storage
+shed that has been bolted and put up against
+
+another structure.
+
+LIAM: All right, well I will walk up to the door
+and knock on it.
+
+MATT: Okay. (knocks) No response.
+
+LIAM: Is there any breaks in the door or the
+building or cracks that Frumpkin could fit into?
+
+MATT: Visual glance, there look like there’s that
+space underneath the door.
+
+Probably not enough for a cat to slip through.
+
+LIAM: Are there any windows or anything or is it
+all a big, dirty, dingy mess?
+
+MATT: There are windows, but if you look at the
+back of the windows all you see is scraps of
+
+material, stacks of books, piles of boxes and
+crates, it’s literally blocked out with things
+
+stacked up against it from the interior.
+
+LIAM: How busy is the front of this place?
+
+MATT: Not busy at all, it’s just the two of you,
+right now, standing at the front door.
+
+LIAM: No one’s around us, though?
+
+MATT: It’s not on the main street, it’s a little
+pushed back, recessed about ten or 15 feet from
+
+the main road so there’s no one immediately around
+you. But there are people walking back and forth
+
+on the road behind but you’re out in the open, per
+se.
+
+SAM: And no one’s coming to the door?
+
+MATT: No one’s come to the door yet, no.
+
+SAM: Want me to break in?
+
+LIAM: Yes. No.
+
+[knocking]
+
+MATT: Okay. A moment passes and you hear, “Hold
+on!” The door opens. It was open. There’s the
+
+sound of heavy sacks go tumbling down to the
+interior of it and you glance around and you hear
+
+a voice go, “Can I help you?”
+
+LIAM: Hello?
+
+MATT: You look down, and there’s this
+crotchety-looking scrawny old gnome who’s sitting
+
+there in the doorway. He’s got this vibrant puff,
+like a cotton ball, of hair around his head. But
+
+it’s this perfect “U” of bald on top. No glasses,
+eyes are very small and beady, and he has this
+
+bulbous, round nose at the front with this little
+bit of a tuft of chin white hair that matches the
+
+cotton ball tuft on the sides. He’s sitting there
+clutching the top of the knob on the inside which
+
+is actually affixed shorter on the door and he
+goes, “Well come in.”
+
+LIAM: Yes please, you’re open for business I take
+it.
+
+MATT: “Always open, come on in.”
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+MATT: Turns around and musters his way inside. As
+soon as you step in the door and look around, this
+
+place looks like an episode of Hoarders. It is
+just floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, stacks of
+
+anything and everything: knick-knacks, small
+stuffed animals, toys, books, glasses, and
+
+goblets. It is the biggest, crammed flea-market
+into a small shed-like space you’ve seen.
+
+SAM: I start unscrewing my flask.
+
+(laughing)
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin climbs back up onto Nott’s shoulder
+and nestles in.
+
+MATT: (meowing)
+
+LIAM: I am scouting the city for books, I am
+starved for books.
+
+MATT: “Well we’ve got books here.”
+
+LIAM: Yes sir, I’m sorry what is your name?
+
+MATT: “Oglen. Oglen Hornsblower.”
+
+LIAM: Oglen Hornsblower.
+
+MATT: “And welcome to my collection. You want to
+buy something, let me know.”
+
+LIAM: Well I see you sell a great many things in
+here, books included. This is just things you’ve
+
+collected throughout your lifetime?
+
+MATT: “Right. Boughten, traded for, found.”
+
+LIAM: I don’t know what you just said, but I am
+interested in books. Particularly in the arcane
+
+realm, but any kind of book. Do you have anything
+that you just outright know is out of the
+
+ordinary?
+
+MATT: “I’m sure we’ve got a few. Look around! See
+what you find. It’s half the fun, half the
+
+"journey.”
+
+LIAM: All right, friend, let’s– It’s like
+Winter’s Crest morning for me and I’m scanning the
+
+shelves.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Can you give me something to look for? To
+distract me and give me a mission to go on,
+
+please?
+
+LIAM: Yes. You want to find some sort of tool that
+helps you do what you do best.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: Investigation check, that is a 21.
+
+MATT: 21?
+
+SAM: I rolled a 21 investigation check.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: I’m just looking for baubles to steal.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. In thumbing through, there are
+plenty of books that, within a first glance,
+
+“This is not of interest to me.” You have to move things
+out of the way and push things aside.
+
+The smell in there is dusty and moldy
+and you do find there is
+
+some subtle water damage and some mildew growing
+
+in one far corner and you’re like ugh, put that
+back. However, you rolled really high. Two things
+
+catch your eye. One, there appears to be the
+remnants of some sort of notebook, a sketchbook
+
+that is written in a language you do not
+understand– What languages do you know?
+
+LIAM: Well, off the bat, I don’t know where that
+is in D&D Beyond yet. But if I open up my binder I
+
+bet I have a paper version that I can verify with.
+I speak Sylvan, Common, and Celestial and I also
+
+can Comprehend Languages as a ritual spell but I
+think that takes some time.
+
+MATT: It does take ten minutes.
+
+LIAM: Ten minutes.
+
+MATT: But you glance through the book, and while
+you cannot read the text you do recognize that
+
+there are elements at the back of the book that
+have a hint of arcane nature. That’s one of two
+
+books you find with that roll.
+
+SAM: It’s like the adult section for him.
+
+MATT: I know. The second book you find is written
+in Zemnian, which you can read.
+
+LIAM: That’s correct.
+
+MATT: The title translates to Fiends of Folklore.
+
+LIAM: I’m so happy. You have quite a shop here.
+
+MATT: “I know I do!”
+
+LIAM: You have some real treasures. I’m
+particularly interested in both of these books.
+
+MATT: “Good choices, good choices.”
+
+LIAM: I don’t know though, I don’t think that– I
+mean I’m rather tight on coin at the moment so–
+
+MATT: “That’s too bad.”
+
+LIAM: Maybe my eyes are too big for my stomach.
+
+MATT: He’s pulling the books away from you.
+
+LIAM: How much would you part with these for?
+
+MATT: (sniffs) He holds of the Fiends of Folklore
+book, “Three gold pieces. This one, (sniffs)–
+
+"ten gold pieces.”
+
+LIAM: Which one is which?
+
+MATT: The Fiends of Folklore is the three, the
+other tome.
+
+LIAM: The arcane, weird one.
+
+MATT: You’re not quite sure what’s in it.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Would you have any interest in a magic
+cat?
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry?”
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin disappears from on Nott’s shoulder.
+Reappears next to the little man.
+
+MATT: (yelps) He like throws the books and grabs
+nearby this large sack and starts–
+
+angrily beating the cat.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take that as a no!
+
+TRAVIS: Childhood cat, destroyed!
+
+MATT: He does hit Frumpkin. Frumpkin takes one
+point of bludgeoning damage.
+
+LIAM: That might be it, I don’t really know. I
+didn’t think that this would happen so quickly.
+
+TRAVIS: Faced with our own mortality.
+
+LAURA: Frumpkin point two.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, he updates overnight as long as
+he’s plugged in, right?
+
+LIAM: Hold on, I have to see if Frumpkin is still
+here.
+
+TRAVIS: Must be plugged in and connected to Wifi.
+
+MARISHA: Type in your passcode if you agree to the
+terms.
+
+LIAM: One hit point of damage?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: He’s still here.
+
+MATT: There you go. Frumpkin immediately darts off
+jumps on your shoulder, turns around and
+
+(hisses).
+
+LIAM: So you don’t like cats, I understand that.
+
+MATT: “Sorry, it caught me off-guard.”
+
+LIAM: Well I was trying to sample the merchandise
+for you. Because if it was just a cat it was just
+
+a cat, but this one– changes to my other
+shoulder– he’s a magic cat.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+LIAM: You can roll him in mud, he comes back
+clean. He disappears, he reappears, he brings you
+
+things.
+
+MATT: “Can you make him go away?”
+
+LIAM: Gone.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. Now we can continue to talk
+money.”
+
+LIAM: Here’s what I propose. I do not have ten
+gold at the moment. But it doesn’t feel like you
+
+get a lot of thoroughfare here, so I’m going to
+come back to purchase this later. That’s it.
+
+That’s the end of my spiel; that’s all I’ve got.
+I’m interested, and thank you for giving me the
+
+time.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Sorry about your cat, friend.”
+
+LIAM: It’s okay. Nott?
+
+SAM: Have I heard all of this conversation?
+
+MATT: You’ve been hearing all of it, but you’ve
+also found, amongst the chaos, a brass baby bottle
+
+that’s fairly dented, but it’s very shiny and
+polished, you can already see on the inside. You
+
+find a new flask, actually. It’s very tarnished,
+but you spit and rub it a little bit. It looks to
+
+be of very fine metallic material. You’re not
+entirely sure, you’d have to clean it, but it
+
+looks like very nice quality material.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll try to trade my flask with
+that flask.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+TRAVIS: Indiana Jones style.
+
+SAM: 22!
+
+TALIESIN: How?!
+
+SAM: Wait. More. No, that’s right. 22.
+
+MATT: Now, your flask, which still has liquor in
+it, is left behind for the empty flask you
+
+receive. However, without an instance of anyone
+even paying attention. It is yours. You can write
+
+in your inventory you are now the owner of a
+platinum flask.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+SAM: Shit! Okay! It’s a baby bottle, or maybe a
+rattle? What’d you say?
+
+MATT: Baby bottle. Looks like it was used as a
+bottle for a very upper-class family.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re already so ahead, though!
+
+SAM: I know. But I can’t resist. I’ll try to take
+one more look and pocket that as well.
+
+MATT: Make another sleight of hand check, please.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: It just vanishes into your cloak! It’s the
+craziest thing! It was there and it’s gone!
+
+TRAVIS: Yes!
+
+SAM: Are we going to leave now? Should we leave? I
+think we should leave. Maybe we should go. Do you
+
+need some money? I could lend you some money, if
+you want.
+
+LIAM: Maybe we’ll come back tomorrow.
+
+SAM: All right. Lovely place you got here!
+
+LIAM: Piggyback?
+
+SAM: Yes, please!
+
+MATT: “I’ll hold these books for you! Come back
+when you can!”
+
+LIAM: Within the week, I promise.
+
+MATT: “All right. Have a good day, little girl!”
+
+SAM: I will!
+
+MATT: You guys exit the building.
+
+SAM: I’m sorry! I did it again, I couldn’t help
+it. I took some things. Do you think he noticed?
+
+Do you think we’re in trouble? Maybe we should
+hurry back.
+
+LIAM: I don’t think he saw.
+
+SAM: All right. Are you cross with me?
+
+LIAM: No. Just wait one moment, okay? Wait for me
+here?
+
+SAM: Okay. I heard you talking about money, by the
+way, I could lend you some, if you’d like.
+
+LIAM: Wait right here. I cast Detect Magic just
+before I walk back into the store. I look all
+
+around. What are your hours, here? As I look to
+see if there is anything besides that book,
+
+anything.
+
+MATT: You glance throughout the interior, and you
+don’t sense anything magical, unfortunately,
+
+within the piles of rubble.
+
+LIAM: Besides the book he put down?
+
+MATT: The book’s not radiating any magical aura.
+But he answers. “Oh! All hours! I don’t really
+
+"close. I don’t really sleep.”
+
+LIAM: Middle of the night, even?
+
+MATT: “Sure!”
+
+LIAM: All right. Business is business. Thank you!
+
+MATT: “No worries. See you then!”
+
+LIAM: Bis später.
+
+MATT: “Pee shmiter!”
+
+LIAM: That guy does not speak Zemnian!
+
+MATT: No, he does not.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go back to the hotel, shall we?
+
+SAM: Let’s do it.
+
+MATT: While they’re away, you guys wait there for
+a bit, getting stir crazy in the process of
+
+waiting in your room. Jester and Beauregard,
+there’s a knock at your door.
+
+LAURA: Hello?
+
+MATT: “Please open, it’s Crownsguard.”
+
+LAURA: Hold on, I’m naked!
+
+(whispering) Yeah, I don’t know. Do you
+want to put clothes on?
+
+Should we take our clothes off?
+
+MARISHA: Did you say that because you wanted to
+tell me something?
+
+LAURA: No, I just wanted to make them wait. Okay,
+I’m dressed now!
+
+MARISHA: I like that. We’re giving them–
+authority. Got the upper hand. Okay.
+
+LAURA: It’s a power play.
+
+MARISHA: Do we invite them in or are we going
+to–? You open the door. I’m going to sit,
+
+unassuming, on the bed.
+
+LAURA: Sit! Come in, please.
+
+MARISHA: Oh!
+
+MATT: The door opens, and there are two
+crownsguards there, standing, shields to the
+
+side.
+
+LAURA: Oh hello, I wasn’t expecting you.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yeah, hi.
+
+MATT: “We’re here to notify you that the
+investigation is ongoing. You will not be needed
+
+"today. Please remain in your premises. Be back
+tomorrow.”
+
+TRAVIS: Jury summon.
+
+MARISHA: Bullshit! Jury duty shit! Goddamn it!
+
+TALIESIN: We are at D&D Jury Duty.
+
+MATT: Yes you are.
+
+MARISHA: Seven dollars a day? What is this shit?
+
+LAURA: Can I ask you a question before you leave?
+
+MATT: “Yes, what is your question?”
+
+LAURA: Are you guys going to be the same people
+coming back tomorrow?
+
+MATT: “Possibly.”
+
+LAURA: What is your names?
+
+MATT: They look at each other, look back at you.
+“I am Jonas.” The other guy pipes up, he’s a
+
+little younger, he goes, “I am Lucas.”
+
+LAURA: Jonas and Lucas, very good names.
+
+MARISHA: You guys should start a band. Like a boy
+band or something.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’d be good. Girls would go crazy.
+If you guys want to play some games tomorrow,
+
+we’ll just be here!
+
+MATT: “Very well! Have a good day.” They look at
+each other like, “What?” and close the door.
+
+LAURA: I shouldn’t have offered the game. What if
+we want to leave and then they want to take us up
+
+on the game thing?
+
+MARISHA: I thought you enjoyed games.
+
+LAURA: No, I love games!
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+LAURA: But what if we leave and then they want to
+play games?
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Onto Fjord’s door.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sitting playing with the cards.
+
+TRAVIS: I open it.
+
+MATT: Same two guards there. Lucas and Jonas.
+Jonas and Lucas. “Hello. The investigation is
+
+"ongoing. You’ll not be needed for today. We will
+return tomorrow.”
+
+TRAVIS: I shut the door.
+
+TALIESIN: Any progress?
+
+MATT: There’s a pause and then you here the subtle
+shifting of greaves against the wooden floor as
+
+they slowly walk away.
+
+TRAVIS: Go take that game in the other room, why
+don’t you?
+
+TALIESIN: That was a power move right there.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you.
+
+MATT: You guys return to the inn.
+
+SAM: I guess we do.
+
+MATT: Yes you do.
+
+SAM: Well. That was terrible. No one found out
+anything. It was a waste of a day. We’re all
+
+terrible at this. Goodnight?
+
+LAURA: What time is it?
+
+MARISHA: That’s not true! I still say that some of
+the best information that you can get can be in
+
+the information that you don’t find.
+
+SAM: That is nonsense.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying! Sometimes the lack of
+information can be a process of elimination.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: It’s super broad!
+
+TALIESIN: No, you know what? I’m going to take
+it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying to be fucking silver lining,
+so I don’t feel like a piece of shit for waste a
+
+day, and you guys are shitting on that, but it’s
+fine.
+
+TRAVIS: You found nothing at the docks, zip,
+zero?
+
+LIAM: We spent hours there, no one knew anything
+about the old man.
+
+MARISHA: See? No one knew anything about him. That
+means, prime candidate, someone’s little
+
+experiment. Little Frankenstein. I’m telling you.
+
+LIAM: I don’t really understand what she’s
+saying.
+
+LAURA: I don’t either. I’m going to run up and
+down the stairs for a while.
+
+MATT: (quick footsteps)
+
+TALIESIN: How long have you known this one?
+
+MARISHA: Who are you talking to?
+
+TALIESIN: Anybody who’s watching this happen.
+
+MARISHA: About 24 hours longer than you have.
+
+TALIESIN: That explains a lot.
+
+MATT: At one point, Adelaine the barmaid comes up.
+“I’m sorry, can you please stop?”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Thank you!”
+
+SAM: Hey, Dungeon Master?
+
+MATT: Yes?
+
+SAM: The other night, when Nott was out carousing
+a bit while Caleb was asleep. He saw some figures
+
+in cloaks dash by. Was there any distinctive
+anything about these three figures that
+
+dashed by?
+
+MATT: Not that you noticed, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Damn it. Okay, I will share that information
+with the group. I saw some weirdos running
+
+around.
+
+LAURA: When?
+
+SAM: The other night, when he was asleep.
+
+TRAVIS: How late?
+
+SAM: Two in the morning?
+
+LIAM: You were out that late?
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should go out at two o'clock in
+the morning and see if we can find them.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, that’s a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Follow them.
+
+MARISHA: You guys notice that it’s weird that no
+one’s actually really talking about this? This is
+
+a small town. I come from a small town. Small town
+people gossip.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like there should be some more
+gossip then there is, that’s very true.
+
+MARISHA: Someone is talking about this, we just
+haven’t found them yet. 2:00AM field trip!
+
+LAURA: We can always leave through the window this
+time.
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm, I like that.
+
+TRAVIS: I can be down for that.
+
+TALIESIN: I leave the rope tied in here. Can we
+use your cat? Reel it back up in so that there’s
+
+no trace of us until we need to get back there.
+
+LIAM: Are you asking for my cat to haul up our
+rope?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m telling you that your cat is
+going to haul up a rope.
+
+LAURA: How is a cat going to lift up a rope?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not that heavy of a rope, it’s just
+hemp.
+
+MATT: Hemp rope can be pretty heavy.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, if I throw it back up there then I
+imagine you cat can knock it back down at the very
+
+least.
+
+LAURA: There, that would work, maybe.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, is he like an asshole cat?
+
+TALIESIN: I assume he’s an asshole cat. Aren’t all
+cats asshole cats?
+
+MATT: This is true.
+
+LAURA: It might be down before we come back, is
+the thing.
+
+TALIESIN: I assume he’s going to– that’s fair.
+
+TRAVIS: Where were you when you saw these cloaked
+figures?
+
+SAM: I had gone out to do some window shopping.
+
+TRAVIS: At 2:00AM?
+
+SAM: Yes, I wasn’t very successful. I had walked
+by the general store–
+
+LAURA: Oh, we went there.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we did.
+
+SAM: I passed by a place called Natural Remedies,
+herbs and medicinal things. I went by a spot named
+
+Jackalwere, it’s a smithy.
+
+LAURA: Okay, but where did you see the cloaked
+guys?
+
+SAM: It was between– I don’t remember.
+
+MATT: It was one block north of the Natural
+Remedies.
+
+MARISHA: Natural Remedies. What was the other one?
+Jackalwere?
+
+SAM: I think that was what it was called.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Jackalwere Smiths.
+
+SAM: We could do a little stakeout!
+
+TRAVIS: We could.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true. How do people send messages
+in this town? Have we figured that out?
+
+SAM: Probably by foot or by horse, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Not that big of a town.
+
+TRAVIS: Should someone stay up? Well, I was
+thinking someone should keep a lookout on the roof
+
+of the inn in case someone comes for us while
+everyone else is out.
+
+LAURA: How would we let anybody know?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know. Can you conjure those golden
+orbs up into the air as like a signal?
+
+LIAM: It’s pretty limited. They don’t go that
+far.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we just risk it.
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Let’s risk it.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s 2:00AM, I’m sure everybody will be
+asleep. Let’s risk it.
+
+MARISHA: Before we leave–
+
+is there a window in
+the hall? Or are there only windows in our bedrooms?
+
+MATT: There is no window in the hall, only in the
+rooms.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s fine. On our side of the
+room–
+
+MATT: You have three rooms between you.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s three rooms and they all have
+windows.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: On our side of the door, I’m going to
+take out my healer’s kit. Do I have any bandages
+
+or medical tape or anything like that?
+
+MATT: Not medical tape, but there are clean strips
+of cloth and some adhesive bandages, basic
+
+general–
+
+LAURA: No tape?!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to tie a bandage ever so
+lightly around one side of the handle onto
+
+something on to the other side of the door. If
+there’s something like a lamp or some kind of pipe
+
+or something I can tie it to.
+
+LAURA: So that we’ll know if someone tried to come
+in the room?
+
+MARISHA: Correct.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You can pull one bandage out and affix to
+one of the chair legs nearby. You could do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh for god’s sake. I pull out a big
+thing of string.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, yeah. I’ll take some string and
+just some twine and–
+
+LAURA: What are we going to do? Leave through our
+window?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: To their window?
+
+MARISHA: Well, I figured we’re all in the same
+room at this point.
+
+LIAM: What are you trying to do?
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying to make sure that if someone
+tries to come in our room we’ll know if they come in.
+
+LIAM: I can take care of that.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, well then, I’m taking my string
+back.
+
+MARISHA: What can you do?
+
+LIAM: I have some magic for that.
+
+SAM: Yeah, he has a magical spell that alerts you
+when someone tries to break in your room.
+
+LIAM: That is correct. Yeah. I will take a moment
+to do that and it will let me know.
+
+SAM: Best part is, it doesn’t alert him when I
+sneak in or out.
+
+LIAM: That you know of.
+
+SAM: Wait. What?
+
+LIAM: One mile of the warded area.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+MARISHA: That’s better! Let’s do that.
+
+LIAM: I just need ten minutes. And I pull out a
+little spool of silvered thread and stretch it
+
+out. Where did you want this? Over the window?
+
+MARISHA: Well, I was going to say in the door, but
+if there’s maybe a place in the hall.
+
+LIAM: Well, I can do the entire room really, I can
+go doorknob to– The funny thing about this
+
+thread, there’s no end to it. So I start looping
+it all the way around the room and tie it off, and
+
+take out one of my books from the holster, the one
+on the left side, and I open it up. You guys watch
+
+as I spend ten minutes referring to the book and
+tracing symbols on the floor. Along, underneath
+
+the thread, and about ten minutes of time, nothing
+happens, but that’s taken care of.
+
+LAURA: Nice.
+
+SAM: See, he’s really good.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Didn’t really look like much.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, either that or I’m really bullshitting
+you and nothing happened.
+
+LAURA: Either way, I liked it. Let’s sneak out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to do one last thing before we
+leave, which is just tussle the room a bit so it
+
+looks like it’s been robbed. Just in case they do
+come in.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you toss the room a bit, muddle up
+the space, and you guys, one by one, climb out the
+
+back of the window, down the rope, and into the
+alley behind the inn. Looking about, you’re
+
+waiting until about post-midnight, you said?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, so it’s dark. The various lanterns
+that dangle on the hook poles at different
+
+intersections of the street are lit. Other than
+that, you have a faint bit of moonlight that’s
+
+coming through the sky. There are some clouds, but
+they’re a bit broken up, so every now and then the
+
+moon cover can vanish and then return, but for now
+you have moonlight in the city. Where are you guys
+
+going?
+
+LAURA: Towards the north end.
+
+TRAVIS: I ought to be leading the way, I reckon.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ll go to where I saw the three
+cloaked figures.
+
+MATT: A little ways north of Natural Remedies?
+Okay. I would like everybody to make a stealth
+
+check, please.
+
+SAM: Stealth check. Do I still have the blessing?
+No, I don’t.
+
+LAURA: No, you don’t. But I can do it to
+everybody, one by one, if we get to an open area.
+
+SAM: 21.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+TALIESIN: 17.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+LIAM: Forty– 12.
+
+SAM: 42.
+
+MATT: You guys, following Nott, dodge between
+alleys, there are a few patrols of the crownsguard
+
+that you see passing by, and you wait for them to
+just cross paths, and then move on. Eventually
+
+finding your way to Natural Remedies, seemingly
+unseen. It’s quiet, you can hear the sound of
+
+crickets in the distance. The cold night air is
+causing your breath to show every time you exhale,
+
+you all bundle your cloaks as you move on. The
+moonlight fades a bit, things get darker, but you
+
+follow Nott’s lead, travel from place to place.
+You finally get to the outskirts of Natural
+
+Remedies, and to the northern alleyway where you’d
+originally seen those figures pass. You’re there.
+
+SAM: Should we fan out a bit? Cover a couple
+corners, so we can still see each other?
+
+TRAVIS: Good idea.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I’m going to go with Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s not spread out too far, though.
+
+SAM: Are you two like an item?
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+SAM: You and Fjord, are you like a thing?
+
+LAURA: Why, are you interested in him?
+
+SAM: No, ugh, no!
+
+LAURA: No?
+
+SAM: You travel together.
+
+LAURA: Well yeah, he’s a good friend. He watches
+out for me, I watch out for him, you know. We’re a
+
+good team. Like you and Caleb.
+
+SAM: Not at all like that, but yes, all right.
+
+MATT: As you guys fan out a little bit, everyone
+make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Natural one.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+LAURA: I don’t see shit.
+
+MARISHA: Perception?
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+LIAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: Okay, so all of you, except for Jester,
+manage to get a clear view of your vicinity.
+
+Jester, you somehow get an eyelash caught in your
+eye and spend the next hour trying to get it out,
+
+but it’s in the eyelid.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, can you see it?
+
+TRAVIS: Look up. Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: To the left.
+
+TRAVIS: Let me get it–
+
+LAURA: No, no, no. Okay, okay, okay.
+
+MATT: Occasionally, you can hear the crownsguard
+approaching, and they carry their torches with
+
+them. You can see the light crawling forward, so
+you all duck out of the way and let them pass.
+
+About an hour passes. Two hours pass. Around the
+third hour, you get the sensation that whatever
+
+you saw the other night is not arriving on a
+clockwork time or not arriving at all. It’s about
+
+three in the morning, in the center of the city by
+yourself. What do you wish to do?
+
+MARISHA: Three in the morning?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Caleb. Any tingling from your
+alarm system?
+
+LIAM: No, I wouldn’t have brought it up if
+something had happened.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good point.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just going to try to meditate on the
+strange death and see if I can feel anything.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+Make an intelligence check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Just see how this goes.
+
+SAM: Mediation check.
+
+TALIESIN: 17.
+
+MATT: Pouring over the details of what has
+transpired and what you guys have done so far to
+
+find information, there are still things to
+inquire about. There are still things to wonder
+
+and discover and there are a few places you
+haven’t been to. A few places you haven’t returned
+
+to. A few people you haven’t even inquired about
+closer to the investigation.
+
+LAURA: Oh, we should talk to the girl.
+
+SAM: Toya?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Let’s go wake her ass up.
+
+MARISHA: Is she under arrest? We don’t know.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe we have to go back to the circus.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it was Yasha.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s early enough maybe we should
+just–
+
+TRAVIS: We have a few more hours and the cover of
+darkness.
+
+SAM: Yeah, let’s go wake her ass up.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we should go back to the circus.
+Scene of the crime? That whole thing?
+
+TALIESIN: I hate to admit it, but maybe– it’s not
+us.
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s real stealthy?
+
+MARISHA: I’m all right.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we don’t all need to go. Maybe
+just a few, and the others will hang back.
+
+SAM: Hang back close by though, right? If
+something goes bad–
+
+MARISHA: Or if you see something. How far are we
+from the inn?
+
+MATT: From the inn? About a 15 minute jog.
+
+SAM: So we can go to the circus?
+
+TRAVIS: An hour and a half.
+
+LAURA: While we’re still trying to figure this
+out, I’m going to take out my painter’s kit and
+
+draw like a little piece of poop on the side of
+the building that we’re next to.
+
+SAM: Tagging? That’s good.
+
+MARISHA: A little tagger.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it like a mound of poop or like a
+single–?
+
+LAURA: No it’s like a mound of poop.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like an emoji.
+
+MATT: Make a performance check.
+
+LAURA: Oh I rolled really low on this one. Four!
+
+MATT: It takes a little convincing to have them
+see the poop in the drawing. You can see it, but
+
+you’ve seen better.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it a worm? It’s a snake.
+
+LAURA: It’s poop, I should’ve–
+
+LIAM: That’s an oval.
+
+LAURA: I should have drawn a pile of poop. I
+draw a pile of poop next to it.
+
+MATT: It helps, but–
+
+LIAM: That’s a triangle.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I thought it was like chocolate
+frozen yogurt.
+
+TALIESIN: Is math or something?
+
+LAURA: It’s dark okay?! I can usually paint much
+better than this. It’s really dark and my hands
+
+feel a little numb.
+
+SAM: Let’s move then.
+
+MATT: Who’s going where? What are you guys doing?
+
+ALL: We’re all going to the circus.
+
+TRAVIS: Stealthily to the circus.
+
+MATT: All right, I would like for all of you to
+roll a stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: Is no one staying behind or–?
+
+LAURA: Fuck it!
+
+SAM: Some are staying away from the tent.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, going in danger close.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MARISHA: Oh not great. Nine!
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+LAURA: 19.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay, you guys make your way through most of
+the Docksward on your way to the large blue tent
+
+that still stands ominously in the distance.
+Thankfully, the moon has come out and cast this
+
+rimlight against the structure, so it’s easy to
+see. As you guys are making your way outside of
+
+the Lochward, you immediately see the approaching
+torchlight of crownsguard. One of them you just
+
+faintly hear 40 or 50 feet ahead of you, “Who goes
+there?”
+
+LAURA: Oh shit.
+
+SAM: Is there only one guard?
+
+MATT: It’s two guards, side by side. These watches,
+they patrol in pairs.
+
+MARISHA: Are we in like an alleyway, or in the
+street?
+
+MATT: You guys are keeping off to the side. You’re
+all on the outskirts of the lake and almost made
+
+your way out of the city towards where the–
+
+LAURA: Go in the lake. Quick, go into the lake!
+
+TRAVIS: I cast Disguise Self, and I turn myself
+into a crownsguard.
+
+LIAM: Disguise Self and follow suit.
+
+MATT: You do as well?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. So you both become crownsguard.
+You’ve all of a sudden are adorned in the goldish
+
+brass and red armor.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m in my black hood. I’ve got my hood
+up now.
+
+SAM: Anywhere to hide?
+
+MATT: There are some small alcoves, but you guys
+are out in the open, now. They’ve seen you.
+
+MARISHA: All of us?
+
+MATT: You don’t know. They’ve seen you. They’ve
+called to you, and then both of you guys
+
+disguised yourselves. What are you doing?
+
+LAURA: I walk into the lake and crouch down?
+
+MATT: Jester walks up and wades in about six
+inches of water and just– gives her best duck
+
+impression.
+
+SAM: I will take off my mask and start attacking
+Caleb in a convincing fashion. Not to draw blood
+
+but– yeah.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Deception check?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Can I start going (groans) Oh get off, you
+little beast! To help with the illusion?
+
+SAM: (snarling noises)
+
+MATT: Sure, make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Oh, my deception check was a three minus
+three.
+
+LIAM: But roll with advantage.
+
+SAM: At advantage?
+
+LIAM: I’m helping you, you little–
+
+SAM: Seven minus three!
+
+LIAM: Oh no!
+
+MATT: Okay so as soon as these two crownsguard see
+this, they go “Shit!” They pull their blades and
+
+they start charging you, Nott, to try and protect
+their other crownsguard–
+
+LIAM: I take Nott and slam her into a wall as hard
+as I can and say: Down you beast!
+
+MATT: All right, as you rush up in a jog, blades
+drawn, one of them is going to go ahead and
+
+attempt to strike.
+
+SAM: Oh god! Sure.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 14 to hit.
+
+SAM: Miss!
+
+MATT: So you manage to (squeaks) and narrowly
+dodge the blade as it strikes through the back of
+
+your cloak and pins it to the side of a wooden
+pole that is on the outside of an overhang where
+
+some of the fish are being left out to dry and
+turn into fish jerky. It holds you in place as
+
+you’re snarling and looking scared. The other one
+pulls out his blade and says “Where did this thing
+
+"come from!?”
+
+LIAM: I have it! And I punch Nott right in the
+face.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+MATT: All right, you take one point of bludgeoning
+damage, Nott, and blood just (flowing noise) from
+
+the nose.
+
+LIAM: I have this. We’re taking these people across
+to jail.
+
+TRAVIS: (Regal voice) Indeed, stay our blade,
+please, obviously he can handle this.
+
+LIAM: Don’t you fucking move you little green
+piece of filth.
+
+SAM: (spits)
+
+TRAVIS: Right in your face! Haha, incredible.
+
+LIAM: This one is mine, thank you. Beat her within
+an inch of her life.
+
+MATT: I need you to make a deception check on that
+one.
+
+TALIESIN: We are just the worst. This is just
+terrible.
+
+MARISHA: Oh man.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: We’ve practiced this before. We got this
+routine down.
+
+MATT: You see a look of disappointment come across
+the two crownsguards’ faces in their inability to
+
+help you skewer this small, feral creature. They
+both put their blades away. “All right if you see
+
+"anything else, give a shout. (spits)”
+
+SAM: Ugh.
+
+MATT: They both continue their walk past the rest
+of you.
+
+LIAM: The rest of you lot fall in line. I drag the
+little one off.
+
+SAM: (snivels)
+
+MATT: They look over at the tiefling– partially
+crouched in the water.
+
+SAM: She’s taking a shit.
+
+LAURA: I really had to pee!
+
+MATT: “Hey! Not in the Ustaloch!”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Okay. Oh okay. I get out. I stand up and
+slowly dredge out of the water.
+
+MATT: Your legs are soaked from thigh to foot, and
+they both eye you warily and slowly walk past.
+
+LAURA: (sigh of relief)
+
+MARISHA: It’s real cold out.
+
+LIAM: Have they cleared the way?
+
+MATT: Eventually, they pass beyond a point where
+you feel absolute dread of their presence.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that a natural thing for you guys to
+just attack each other in moments of stress?
+
+LIAM: Are you all right? I am so very sorry, I’m
+so sorry–
+
+SAM: No, I’m fine that was good acting. You were
+perfect. I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. I
+
+was trying to create some sort of distraction.
+
+LIAM: Let me see your teeth. Okay. You look all
+right.
+
+SAM: They’re all over the place.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I can’t tell if that got worse or
+better.
+
+MARISHA: You fixed them a bit!
+
+LIAM: Okay. Who wants to go to the circus?
+
+MARISHA: Yay.
+
+MATT: All right, you guys are make the rest of the
+path to the outskirts of the circus. You see at
+
+the very front flap of it you see a crownsguard
+who’s like (yawn) sitting there, his arms crossed
+
+to the front keeping an eye out, he is doing
+late-shift. You do see the faint distant
+
+flickering glow of firelight from the back side of
+the circus.
+
+MARISHA: What is that? Do you guys have like a
+nightlight?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s where we camp.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you saw it earlier, you saw the
+campfire.
+
+MARISHA: Oh sure.
+
+TRAVIS: If you want to make your ways around, I
+could distract them for a moment, have a
+
+conversation with them.
+
+MARISHA: Do they still look like crownsguard?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: For an hour.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, yeah.
+
+LIAM: You you want to go with them? I’ll go with
+him.
+
+SAM: Sure, but will you be watching me or no? You
+don’t have to.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin will go with you.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll go with you and– who else is
+going? Are you stealthy?
+
+LAURA: We’ll take care of you. Don’t worry!
+
+TALIESIN: They’re not going to talk to you without
+me, so I’m coming, too.
+
+LIAM: I’m a little jittery, do you want to be a
+front man for a little while?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure I got it, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right, so what are the groups here?
+
+SAM: The girls and the boys.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb and me–
+
+LAURA: And Molly.
+
+SAM: And whatever Molly is.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I’m fabulous.
+
+MATT: Molly, who are you going with?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going with the girls, because the
+circus kids won’t talk to them without me.
+
+MATT: All right, so the three of you are going
+forward. What are you doing? I guess I should
+
+ask.
+
+TRAVIS: I walk up to the guard. (regal voice) It’s
+a late night, not much action this evening. See
+
+anything unusual?
+
+MATT: “Eh, nothing yet. Mostly I hate this. Ugh, I
+just wish this whole fucking circus would just go.
+
+"I need to sleep. Regular hours.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, have you heard heard?
+How long are they supposed to be here?
+
+MATT: “Until they finish this fucking
+investigation. They keep bugging people for
+
+"information, but they’re all just clammed up and
+not saying shit.”
+
+TRAVIS: At least you’re by the tent, they’ve had
+us walking the perimeter of the lake the entire
+
+time.
+
+MATT: “It’s bullshit. I wish they would just go
+ahead and execute them. That carnival master or
+
+whatever and get it over with.”
+
+TRAVIS: Did they find anything inside, today? Tell
+me, something interesting, please.
+
+MATT: “They investigated the corpses and found
+nothing yet. Still in there if you want to take a
+
+look at it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Would you mind if we popped in?
+
+MATT: “I mean I suppose so.” Make a deception
+check.
+
+MARISHA: Something good, something good?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Where is it? Jesus.
+
+Oh! 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. He thinks a second on it. “Oh I
+suppose so. Go on in.”
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll be quick, super fast.
+
+MATT: “Please, get it over with.” He stops you.
+“If there’s any way to expedite this, if you can
+
+"pin it on any of them, we can just kill them and
+take care of it. Let me know.”
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s go.
+
+(as Grog) That worked way better
+than I thought. Like we should– I mean–
+
+(as Fjord) should we look around for stuff or what?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Yes. Yes.
+
+LIAM: You are very good with voices.
+
+TRAVIS: Well you know, I do a little mimicry here
+and there. We should look, come on. Check the
+
+grounds. Maybe we can find where the bodies are
+laying.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, let’s have a look around.
+
+MATT: You guys look inside, the tent is dark.
+There’s no light inside.
+
+LIAM: I take a rag out of my side satchel and I
+cast– what the hell is it called because I’ve
+
+only been a wizard for a short time– one Dancing
+Light underneath the rags so it’s only dim.
+
+MATT: All right, so you have this self-made hooded
+lantern with the hood you have over it.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: That’s dope.
+
+LIAM: What the fuck are we looking for in here?
+
+MATT: And Nott, you’re going with them?
+
+SAM: I’m with the girls.
+
+TRAVS: Where did the bodies fall? Over there,
+didn’t they?
+
+LIAM: That’s right, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Well let’s search the grounds.
+
+MATT: You make your way inside, the smell is
+pretty bad. You can smell the flesh beginning to
+
+decay.
+
+TRAVIS: Have they moved the bodies or are the
+bodies still there?
+
+MATT: With a bit of looking, the bodies are still
+there where they left them. They have not moved,
+
+you can see a couple of remnants of notes and
+sheets that have been crumpled, but the bodies
+
+have been left where they are.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we check the bodies for anything?
+
+LIAM: Is there anything arcane? From all my
+studies, does anything here ring any bell? I have
+
+a photographic memory.
+
+MATT: Go and make a religion check.
+
+LIAM: All right. That is a ten.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you don’t have a lot of
+research on the undead, or whatever might be the
+
+essence of this creature’s creation, and the more
+you look at it, you’re like, “This is not my
+
+specialty.”
+
+LIAM: Okay. What about the perimeters of here,
+where all the people were? There was a swarm of
+
+people. I spend five minutes seeing anything was
+dropped of interest.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check, both of you.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s better.
+
+LIAM: I miss the twins.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+LIAM: Big ten.
+
+MATT: Glancing about, you can see the track marks
+of everyone fleeing. You can see the spatters of
+
+blood. You can see the place where the
+transformation occurred. There is a horrible
+
+shedding of certain layers of flesh. You can see
+previously existing layers of flesh and muscle
+
+that were shed as whatever this undead thing was
+fell to the ground. Once again, you make a
+
+religion check as well.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Roll high. I did not. Ten.
+
+MATT: Yeah. This is not your specialty. You have
+little experience with the undead and this type of
+
+magic.
+
+TRAVIS: We can’t spend that long in here. Maybe we
+just take a bit of it with us. Do you have a
+
+pocket?
+
+LIAM: I have many pockets, of course I have
+pockets.
+
+TRAVIS: Like a jar? I-I got no pockets!
+
+SAM: You designed a character with no pockets?!
+Why would you do that?
+
+TRAVIS: There’s no pockets! All right, but I’ll
+check.
+
+LIAM: He’s just in the Blue Man Group unitard and
+that’s it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sure Rob Liefeld just got a nosebleed
+and he doesn’t know why.
+
+LIAM: So this dead thing is here in front of me?
+
+MATT: Two of them. There’s the main one, the
+ground zero one, which is where you were putting
+
+all your attention, and then there’s the woman,
+who was transformed as part of the first.
+
+LIAM: I will take my dagger, and I will slice a
+little bit off of the woman, and it’s going to get
+
+dark in here and I will snuff out the light and
+use the rag to roll it up and I’ll put the little
+
+piece in my pack.
+
+MATT: With a squishy sound you place it within
+your pack.
+
+LIAM: Let’s get out of here, I’m going to be
+sick.
+
+TRAVIS: Agreed.
+
+MATT: All right. The four of you, I need you to
+roll stealth checks, please.
+
+MARISHA: Not that one. I don’t feel good about it.
+Oh not bad! 21.
+
+TALIESIN: 17.
+
+LAURA: 18.
+
+SAM: 25.
+
+MATT: Without issue, you guys quickly dart around
+the side of the tent and make your way right
+
+towards the central area where the multitude of
+tents to this back encampment is placed. There is
+
+a single campfire. The embers are burning out. It
+has not been kept up. You do see two crownsguard
+
+who are currently keeping watch. One of them is
+slumped in a chair across from the fire and is
+
+nodding off. The other is doing a basic patrol and
+looking around. Other than that, you don’t hear
+
+any sounds, you don’t see anybody else. Just the
+two crownsguard.
+
+TALIESIN: Which of the tents is currently
+occupied?
+
+MATT: There are four main tents. There are two
+very large ones, one of which generally contains
+
+Toya and Kylre, the devil toad. That’s on the
+south side. There’s the north largest tent, this
+
+one contains the Knot sisters and Ornna. Then
+there’s a very small tent to the south side that
+
+would be Bo the Breaker’s tent, but he’s not here.
+Then there’s a medium sized tent on the north
+
+side. Who would be in that one?
+
+TALIESIN: Toya and Kylre share a tent, that’s
+right. It would be Desmond.
+
+MATT: Desmond would be the other one. It would be
+Gustav staying there as well, but Gustav changes
+
+between the tent and the cart.
+
+MARISHA: The cart?
+
+TALIESIN: We have a wagon.
+
+LAURA: Molly, I have a question. What made you
+guys set up your tent here?
+
+TALIESIN: We were told to set it up here, if I
+recall.
+
+LAURA: In this specific area?
+
+TALIESIN: That sounds right. If I recall, we were
+specifically told to set up tent right here.
+
+MARISHA: And it’s by the lake, right?
+
+MATT: Maybe 150-200 feet away from it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty close to a lake.
+
+LAURA: What if they set up their tent on a cursed
+land or something?
+
+MARISHA: It’s the lake, it’s common?
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the easiest tent to get to
+without–
+
+MATT: Do you want to go to the north side or the
+south side of the main tent?
+
+TALIESIN: I want to go with whatever’s furthest
+away from the guards.
+
+SAM: Shouldn’t we just go to the Toya tent?
+
+MATT: The Toya tent’s on the south side, that’s
+the opposite side, you guys would have probably
+
+come in from the north end.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the easiest to get to without–
+
+MATT: That would be the one that contains Ornna
+and the Knot sisters.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go back there and do our
+traditional (bird call)
+
+MATT: Okay. There’s actually no response.
+
+LAURA: (bird call)
+
+MARISHA: I had Mona and Lena, but maybe it’s
+Lolie.
+
+TALIESIN: Yuli. It’s Mona and Yuli. I’m going to
+try one of the other tents. Am I getting the sense
+
+that any of them are in?
+
+SAM: Look over here!
+
+TALIESIN: Over here!
+
+MATT: The other tent you get to and you make the
+same sound? This would be the one that Desmond
+
+usually is in, too. There’s a pause, and then you
+hear a very faint (bird call).
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to very gently lift the back
+of the tent up and not go in through the front.
+
+And just–
+
+MATT: Okay. You glance inside and you can see,
+leaning up from a bedroll, Desmond who is
+
+half-awake, and glances over and sees you. He’s
+out of outfit, out of makeup, and he gives a nod.
+
+TALIESIN: (whispering) Do you know what’s going
+on? (switches to normal volume) Assume we’re
+
+whispering, because this is bullshit.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: How is it? What’s happened?
+
+MATT: “They’ve come around asking a few questions,
+we’re trying to figure it out ourselves. Are you
+
+"okay?”
+
+TALIESIN: I could be worse.
+
+MATT: “How’s Gustav? And Bosun?”
+
+TALIESIN: They couldn’t be worse. And then Yasha
+Yasha’d. I don’t know. Did Toya see anything? Did
+
+she say anything?
+
+MATT: “We’re still trying to figure this out
+ourselves. Are you alone?”
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’ve picked up a few scragglers.
+They’re idiots, but they’re helping.
+
+MATT: “Well bring them in.”
+
+SAM: We come in.
+
+MATT: You guys all enter the tent and you see
+Desmond. Previously you saw him in this very
+
+colorful outfit with the frilled neck piece and
+the full facial makeup. Now you see a man in his
+
+late 30s with a very scarred left side of his
+face. It looks like it was shredded at one point
+
+in his youth, that the makeup hid during the
+performance. As soon as you enter, even upon
+
+greeting him, he has a very sad presence to him.
+Even though you’re all under the cover of night
+
+and having this conspiratorial conversation, he
+has this melancholy about him that permeates the
+
+space inside the tent. He says, “So you’re all the
+ones that helped earlier. Thank you. It would have
+
+"been far worse if you hadn’t.”
+
+LAURA: No problem.
+
+TALIESIN: What do they think happened? What are
+they asking?
+
+MATT: “They’re thinking something about the show.
+They’re thinking Gustav made this happen. I don’t
+
+think it’s Gustav, he’s a good man. He makes poor
+choices and it’s plagued him his whole life, you
+
+can see it in his brow. But good intentions have
+grave consequences. No one that good comes out of
+
+Shady Creek Run without some mistakes behind them,
+but I don’t see him doing this.”
+
+TALIESIN: What would be the point?
+
+LAURA: Has it ever happened like this before?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+LAURA: Anything weird ever happened before?
+
+MATT: “Weird things? All the time. We’re a bunch
+of weird folk, work with a lot of weird people.
+
+Bunch of strange freaks gathered to this show.”
+
+MARISHA: Was there anyone new here recently that
+you haven’t worked with a lot?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, she apparently ran off.”
+
+TALIESIN: Yasha’s the newest, but she can be
+flighty.
+
+MARISHA: What about Mona and Yuli?
+
+MATT: “The sisters are bitter, but it’s no fault
+of theirs.”
+
+MARISHA: Why are they bitter?
+
+MATT: “Because the world is cruel.”
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve never met it– Well, nevermind.
+
+MATT: “I wish I could help them, but it–”
+
+MARISHA: (stutters) What happened to them?
+
+LAURA: Are you drunk? What’s going on?
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m trying to hear and whisper at the
+same time.
+
+LAURA: You can talk at a normal volume.
+
+MATT: Magical whisper. Cone of Whisper.
+
+MARISHA: Matt Cone of Whisper!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh God, that’s a new thing now.
+
+MARISHA: What did they say? Why do they think
+that? Why is the world shitty?
+
+MATT: “Have you been around? Have you travelled to
+see anything?”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Listen. The world has its own brand
+of shitty depending on whose eyes are looking at
+
+it, right? So what is their brand of shitty?
+
+TALIESIN: Circus shitty.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. Ask them.”
+
+MARISHA: Where are they?
+
+TALIESIN: In a tent over there.
+
+MATT: “They don’t seem to take much of a liking to
+me anyway, so I can’t really tell you myself. I’m
+
+"sorry.”
+
+SAM: They don’t like you? Why?
+
+MATT: “There’s a lot of people that don’t like
+me.”
+
+LAURA: I like you, Desmond. I think you’re great.
+
+SAM: Why? What did you do?
+
+MATT: He looks at you and goes, “Same reason folks
+probably don’t like you; you’re different.”
+
+SAM: Hmm.
+
+TALIESIN: Is everybody still here? They’ve not
+taken anyone away other than–
+
+MATT: “Other than those two, everyone else is
+here. We’re just keeping under watch until their
+
+"investigation is complete.”
+
+MARISHA: Molly, why did you laugh when I asked
+about the sisters?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re carnival people, we’ve all got our
+issues. You don’t end up here if you’re not
+
+a little weird.
+
+LAURA: Can I try something? I want to try to cast
+Detect Good and Evil.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Cleric shit!
+
+LAURA: Right?
+
+SAM: On?
+
+LAURA: On the area. It lasts up to ten minutes, so
+it’s within 30 feet of me.
+
+TRAVIS: You ever cast this before?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+TRAVIS, TALIESIN, and MARISHA: First cast!
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: First blood!
+
+MATT: So you cast it. You concentrate. You reach
+down and grasp the bottom of your symbol that
+
+hangs around your belt, and there’s a faint rush
+of divine force given to your consciousness. You
+
+don’t sense within 30 feet of you any fiendish, or
+celestial, or fey, or undead, or aberration.
+
+LAURA: Nothing that’s been desecrated?
+
+MATT: Nothing from this tent or within 30 feet.
+
+SAM: Does it follow her?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it follows me.
+
+MATT: It’s like a radial thing.
+
+SAM: That’s pretty cool, let’s keep going then.
+Maybe we’ll see something?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Am I close to the edge of the main
+tent?
+
+MATT: There are two tents to the north. There’s a
+bigger one, and a medium one. The one that you’re
+
+in right now is the larger one to the north, and
+as such contains– Actually no. The one that you
+
+guys are in right now is the medium one. The one
+that contains Desmond. The larger one contains
+
+both of the sisters and Ornna.
+
+LAURA: Okay. And they’re closer to the big tent?
+Where is the big tent?
+
+MATT: Correct. The big tent is about ten to 15
+feet from the one you’re in right now.
+
+LAURA: Okay, cool. Yeah, let’s leave. I’ll get up
+to the edge of the big tent, and I want to see if
+
+I can feel anything weird in that area.
+
+MATT: Okay. Is everyone else staying inside or are
+you going with her?
+
+SAM: We’re going with, but before we leave I’ll
+ask Desmond: From one outcast to another, are
+
+there any questions that are bugging you
+about all this?
+
+MATT: He thinks for a second. “I don’t want this
+all to fall on Gustav. He’s done a lot of good for”
+
+“all of us, and the way they’re talking about the
+investigation, they’re looking to make a scapegoat”
+
+“of this.”
+
+SAM: Well, thank you.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+SAM: (mimics bird call poorly) That’s how they
+talk to each other. That’s how carnival folk talk
+
+to each other.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck’s sake. I’m going to do my
+best.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to quietly sneak out the back
+of the tent again and sneak into the–
+
+MATT: Another stealth check, my friends.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god, I hate all of this.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to give Molly Blessing, so you
+get advantage.
+
+SAM: 21.
+
+MARISHA: 13. Not great.
+
+TALIESIN: 13.
+
+MATT: With advantage?
+
+TALIESIN: With advantage.
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys make your way up to the edge
+of the tent.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not going to make the noise I’m just
+going to–
+
+MATT: Right. As you make your way over to the edge
+of the tent where the sisters and Ornna are, you
+
+focus and concentrate. Nothing, from the radial
+thing. One of the guards, who’s standing up and
+
+making a patrol, looks over right as you duck
+behind and you hear a “Huh?”
+
+SAM: Uh oh.
+
+LAURA: Quick, go in the tent.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to go in the tent.
+
+LAURA: We all duck under the tent go and act like
+we’re sleeping.
+
+MATT: You guys all dodge under the tent just as
+the guard begins to pass around. You hear the
+
+footsteps around. As you step in you watch as the
+two Knot sisters–
+
+TALIESIN: (shushes)
+
+MATT: They both curl into a ball and stay really
+quiet. All of the sudden Ornna comes to
+
+consciousness and (light footsteps)
+
+the footsteps finish the circle
+and then go back towards where the fire is.
+
+LAURA: That was close.
+
+MATT: Ornna leans in, goes like, “Okay, what is
+going on.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s what I’m trying to figure out,
+what the fuck is going on. They’re with me, it’s
+
+been complicated. Gustav’s in deep. Bosun’s in
+deep.
+
+LAURA: Tell us you know something.
+
+MATT: “What do you want to know?”
+
+TALIESIN: What did you see? I don’t know.
+
+SAM: Who did this? What was it?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. I looked and I saw what you
+saw.”
+
+TALIESIN: This is Ornna I assume.
+
+MATT: This is Ornna, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Ornna is the fire dancer.
+
+MARISHA: Right, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: For fuck’s sake, they’re going
+to kill every last fucking one of us unless
+
+we figure this out.
+
+MATT: She’s like, “Right.”
+
+TALIESIN: What do you think?
+
+MATT: “Well the sister’s over here think it’s a
+hit job, but this isn’t a hit job with zombies?
+
+"Are you fucking kidding me?”
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. I think that they’re
+trying to cover something.
+
+MATT: “That’s not surprising.”
+
+MARISHA: Can I insight check the sisters? What are
+they doing right now?
+
+MATT: They’re both just quietly curled up and
+watching you guys talk.
+
+MARISHA: They’re not saying anything, though?
+
+MATT: Not yet. If you want to ask them something
+you can.
+
+MARISHA: Do they look nervous or are they just
+being shifty?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check to find out.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: While she’s doing that I’m going to try and
+sneak out the underside of the tent to go to the
+
+big tent.
+
+SAM: I’ll go with her.
+
+MATT: This is a bit of a leap. This goes about 25,
+30 feet south of where you are around the campfire
+
+that’s open.
+
+SAM: No problem.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make your stealth checks,
+guys.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god. I miss Pass Without a Trace so
+much.
+
+SAM: 23.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a number.
+
+LAURA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Okay. What was your insight check?
+
+MARISHA: 15.
+
+MATT: 15. They both look nervous, but just
+untrusting of the scenario. You can’t read
+
+anything deeper than that. There is definitely a,
+hmm, but you can’t quite get a full bead on them.
+
+You guys, as you curl around the outside, there’s
+the one guard that’s sitting in the chair by the
+
+fire that goes like (snores) and opens his eyes a
+little bit and looks over in your direction,
+
+Jester, and there’s a brief moment where he’s just
+looking right at you. Do you do anything?
+
+LAURA: I freeze.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+MATT: Stands up.
+
+LAURA: Can I use– oh shit. I’m going shitballs,
+shit.
+
+SAM: I’m just tucking around, getting ready.
+
+MATT: You’re around, you don’t see anything.
+
+SAM: I don’t see this?
+
+MATT: Sorry, he doesn’t see you.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Charm Person on the guard
+that sees me.
+
+MATT: Okay. As he stands up, he goes toward you
+and he goes for his blade and he has to make a
+
+saving throw.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+MATT: Which he does not make. I don’t think so,
+it’s like a six.
+
+SAM: No, it’s like 13 or something.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So he goes like–
+
+LAURA: Hi, I’m not here.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. Sit down. Go to sleep, this is a
+dream.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s so good.
+
+LAURA: That’s so close. This is so bad. Five.
+
+MATT: He doesn’t seem to buy the dream thing, but
+he’s like–
+
+LAURA: You want it to be a dream.
+
+MATT: He doesn’t go to sleep but he knows
+you’re there and he’s keeping an eye, but
+
+he’s not doing anything.
+
+LAURA: Okay, well it’s good enough, I guess.
+
+MATT: But he’s definitely aware that you’re
+there.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go towards the big tent just
+so I can see if I can sense any evil.
+
+MATT: Okay. Really quickly, just to check because
+it’s– That’s right, Charm Person is not–
+
+LAURA: It’s not, yes.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s at this point that you turn your
+attention to the tent and focus. There is a hefty,
+
+radiating warm fiendish source from the inside of
+that large tent.
+
+SAM: We found something!
+
+LAURA: I can sense something. Let’s go in the
+tent.
+
+SAM: Go in? But if it’s bad, that’s bad.
+
+LAURA: What if it’s just a dead thing?
+
+SAM: Oh god, will we have to fight a dead thing?
+Should we get some help? I turn to Caleb’s cat and
+
+I say go! Go get Caleb! Shoo! (hiss) Go away!
+(hiss) I can’t speak Cat! Go away!
+
+MATT: The cat goes, (angry meow).
+
+SAM: Go away! Go tell Caleb we’re here!
+
+MATT: (hiss)
+
+LIAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: Turns around and sprays you and then keep
+walking.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ve sent for help.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Let’s go under the tent.
+
+SAM: All right, let’s go.
+
+MATT: You guys carefully maneuver under the tent.
+As soon as you curl into the interior of the tent
+
+you hear a very heavy (snoring).
+
+LAURA: This the big tent that you guys were just
+in?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MATT: No, it’s the one on the south side of it.
+
+SAM: It’s a different one.
+
+LAURA: Oh!
+
+MARISHA: Toad guy.
+
+MATT: You see the slowly expanding and contracting
+form of Kylre from the back side. You see this
+
+giant, scaly, somewhat oily exterior of the body.
+
+SAM: That’s why you detected him, because he’s a
+fiend.
+
+LAURA: Maybe he’s a good fiend, can fiends be
+good?
+
+SAM: I don’t know, you detected–
+
+LAURA: Is he still sleeping?
+
+MATT: (snoring)
+
+LAURA: He’s still sleeping.
+
+SAM: We can wake him up and ask?
+
+LAURA: And ask if he’s good or bad?
+
+SAM: Yeah?
+
+LAURA and SAM: Eh.
+
+SAM: Is anyone else in the tent?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, we suck at this.
+
+LIAM: This? Everything!
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+MATT: Okay, that’s better. You just stare right at
+the body of this toad going, “Nope.”
+
+SAM: This looks really big and scary.
+
+MATT: You glance and see a faint bit of a whitish
+material from the crook of the arm. You take a few
+
+steps forward and glance from the side and you can
+see asleep, cradled in his large, lizardman arms,
+
+Toya, dwarf girl is curled up and asleep
+peacefully.
+
+SAM: We should talk to her, but if we wake her up
+he’s going to be mad. I guess we have no choice,
+
+we should talk to her. She’s a dwarf? Do you speak
+Dwarvish?
+
+LAURA: No, I don’t.
+
+SAM: Maybe she speaks Common. We’ll be fine. She’s
+a circus person.
+
+LIAM: I have that ability, it lets you know
+exactly where the fiend is. Which of those
+
+things is the fiend?
+
+LAURA: Which of the things is the fiend?
+
+MATT: It’s the large source.
+
+LAURA: It’s definitely the large fiend.
+
+LIAM: It could have easily been the little girl.
+
+MATT: It could have been, yeah.
+
+LAURA: It’s the big guy.
+
+SAM: Let’s wake her up!
+
+MATT: The radiance is around the large creature.
+
+LAURA: And her name is Toya?
+
+SAM: Toya. Singing dwarf.
+
+LAURA: Let’s sit down on the ground and look
+non-threatening. So we sit down cross-legged. Just
+
+casual. Like we’re having a tea party.
+
+SAM: Put down my hair.
+
+LAURA: And then we go: Toya! Toya wake up!
+
+SAM: Wakey wakey!
+
+MATT: The breathing stops and there’s this
+stillness in the interior of the tent.
+
+SAM: We should light a light or something?
+Otherwise we’re just in the dark.
+
+MATT: You hear this faint sound of squeaking as
+lubricated folds of lizardman flesh twist over
+
+each other as the devil toad’s head kind of curls
+back to look at you quietly, the mouth slightly
+
+ajar. You can see rows of teeth and this bit of
+drool down the edge of the chin onto the ground.
+
+“What. you. want?”
+
+LAURA: We’re here to talk to Toya.
+
+MATT: At which point the little girl (yawn) begins
+(grunt) (thumping) and rotates in his space. He
+
+takes up almost the entirety of this tent. And
+slowly rotates around inside. Surprisingly quiet
+
+for his size. And still clutching Toya, Toya sits
+up and is like “What’s happening? (yawn)”
+
+LAURA: Hi!
+
+MATT: “Hi!”
+
+SAM: Sorry to disturb your slumber.
+
+MATT: She takes her braids and holds them with her
+hands, it’s almost a safety blanket she curls into
+
+herself. She looks about 11 or 12. This close you
+can see she looks younger than she did from that
+
+distance. Whether it be the presence or the mature
+voice. But she seems pretty young. But she’s not
+
+childlike.
+
+LAURA: Oh hey! What’s going on.
+
+MATT: “ Well?”
+
+SAM: Do you recognize us from the other night?
+Last night?
+
+LAURA: Last night.
+
+SAM: Last night?
+
+MATT: “I don’t remember, I got scared.”
+
+LAURA: It was scary. You have a really pretty
+voice.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+LAURA: Did you notice how when you sang that a
+dude turned into a zombie?
+
+MATT: She begins to chuckle. And the big toad
+(laughter). “I did. It was really scary! I didn’t
+
+"like it at all. I didn’t do that, did I?”
+
+LAURA: Probably not.
+
+SAM: Has it happened before, or was that–
+
+MATT: “No. The guards are saying I probably did
+that, they’re saying I might have done that.” It’s
+
+interesting, you notice now listening to her, she
+has this beautiful voice but her speaking voice is
+
+very crackly. It sounds almost damaged.
+
+LAURA: Do you sing all the time, Toya?
+
+MATT: “I sing a lot. It’s what keeps me alive,
+it’s what gets me money.”
+
+LAURA: Right. I understand that.
+
+SAM: Was that the same song you always sing?
+
+MATT: “Yeah. It’s the one song I know.”
+
+SAM: Did it feel the same coming out of you or was
+it different?
+
+MATT: “It felt the same.”
+
+LAURA: What language is it?
+
+MATT: “It’s an old dwarven tune. My mother taught
+it to me before she passed.”
+
+LAURA: What does it mean?
+
+MATT: “It’s a tale of the angels and how they came
+from the realms beyond of the gods. They granted
+
+"each to us our sparks of life.”
+
+LAURA: Granted sparks of life. Does that sound
+like a familiar story that I’ve heard before?
+
+MATT: It sounds vaguely religious, but–
+
+SAM: When you were singing, did you hear any other
+sounds or words that someone else was saying?
+
+MATT: “No, not beyond the ordinary. Then I saw
+that poor man just start tearing through people. I
+
+"got scared and Kylre helped me.” She puts her arm
+up and pats and (grunt).
+
+LAURA: How did you and Kylre meet?
+
+MATT: “They brought me into the circus. I was up
+in a city north of here, far north of the Marrow
+
+"Valley and I was just on the streets singing. And
+this carnival came by and I met Gustav and he
+
+"invited me to join and that’s how I met Kylre and
+I met all these wonderful people.”
+
+SAM: Has anyone new come around and talked to
+you?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+SAM: Asked you to do anything? It’s so strange.
+
+LAURA: Man, we suck at this.
+
+SAM: No, we’re really good.
+
+MATT: “The newest people we’ve had are Mollymauk
+and Yasha.”
+
+LAURA: They’re new?
+
+MATT: “Comparatively. Mollymauk’s been here almost
+two years now.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Okay.
+
+MATT: “He came after I did. We both found our
+voice together. I was very scared and he wasn’t
+
+"talking and together we helped each other learn to
+have fun again.”
+
+SAM: And yesterday before the show you didn’t
+notice anything weird, anyone creeping around the
+
+carnival, setting up anything?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+SAM: Snooping around?
+
+LAURA: Anybody in weird cloaks?
+
+SAM: Cloaks, cloaks!
+
+MATT: “I didn’t see anything.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: DM, on a minor note, I put my hand on
+Fjord’s shoulder and say I’m going to be blind for
+
+a second, give me a little slap if anything goes
+wrong. And I tune into Frumpkin who should still be–
+
+MATT: At this point in time you notice (laughter)
+Nott going “Shoo! Cah! Go find help!” and you hear
+
+a (hiss) (grumpy meow). Yeah.
+
+LIAM: And then Frumpkin takes off?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin starts heading back around towards
+you.
+
+LIAM: So I’m looking at myself after a moment.
+
+MATT: Briefly, as you keep concentrating, Frumpkin
+finds his way under the tent and comes up to you.
+
+SAM: Is there anyone you think would want to
+destroy the carnival or hurt Gustav? Does Gustav
+
+have any enemies?
+
+MATT: “I hope not. I know him and Ornna argue a
+lot, but–”
+
+SAM: Him and Ornna? It’s Ornna! Ornna’s the one.
+Thanks very much, we’re out of here.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Hot lead!
+
+LAURA: Let’s go! We’ve got it, we’ve solved the
+case!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to have a tiny bit of
+conversation with her.
+
+MATT: Yeah. So while they’re gone, the two of you
+are in the other tent with the sisters and Ornna.
+
+MARISHA: I would like to talk with the sisters
+while that is going on.
+
+MATT: They’re both sitting there, knees tucked to
+their chest.
+
+MARISHA: I go and sit down next to them, putting
+my knees up, too. This whole thing is really
+
+messed up, right?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, you’re telling us.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Man. Like, why would we do anything
+like that? I feel like we’re all being needlessly
+
+persecuted.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, who are you?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry. I’m Beau. The other Bo, but I
+helped fight the zombies the other night. I’m
+
+under house arrest. We’re under the same
+situation, just separately. Not really. I don’t
+
+want to compare myself to you, because that would
+be rude.
+
+MATT: The two halfling twins look at each other,
+and back at you.
+
+TALIESIN: Her name’s Beau. She’s helping, she’s
+awful, you have a lot in common.
+
+MATT: “Okay, well, I mean, whatever you want to
+know.”
+
+MARISHA: He’s such a dick. Why is he such a dick?
+
+MATT: “Molly’s great, why are you such a dick?”
+
+TRAVIS: Reversal!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry, he’s been talking shit about
+you this whole time, I don’t know, I just–
+
+MATT: Make a deception check on that.
+
+TRAVIS and LIAM: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Stirring the pot.
+
+MARISHA: It’s okay. 15.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk by the two twins,
+because I’m circling the tent, trying to get a
+
+look, and be like, I’ve absolutely been talking
+shit. You’re both terrible. I give them both a
+
+kiss on the head and keep walking.
+
+MATT: Okay. They both, “All right, so what are you
+trying to do?”
+
+MARISHA: What am I trying to do? I’m trying to
+figure out who’s behind all this so that we can
+
+keep moving on with our lives.
+
+MATT: “All right, well, get it over with. Soon as
+this is done, we’re out.”
+
+TALIESIN: They may not let us leave. They may be
+killing us all.
+
+MATT: “They’re not going to kill us all!” The
+other goes, “They’re not going to kill us all.”
+
+TALIESIN: They’re weird out there. They’re very
+weird out there.
+
+MATT: (sighs)
+
+MARISHA: Your guys’ performance was amazing, by
+the way.
+
+MATT: “Thanks.”
+
+MARISHA: I loved it.
+
+SAM: We’re stealthing over to that tent, by the
+way.
+
+LAURA: I thought we were stealthing over to the
+main tent.
+
+SAM: The one with Ornna in it.
+
+TALIESIN: Ornna’s in the tent with us.
+
+MATT: Oh, you guys are going to the main tent.
+
+LAURA: I wanted to get to the main tent to see if
+I could sense any evil in the big, main tent.
+
+SAM: Oh, you want to swoop by the main tent?
+
+LAURA: But if it’s really far away.
+
+MATT: Not too far away from where you were,
+because you’re backing out the side of it. So you
+
+can go ahead and stealth around. Make a stealth
+check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, god. Please no one, please no whammies.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Big money.
+
+SAM: I’m fine.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Nice, and what did you get?
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: The two of you, without issue, make your way
+around towards the large tent without being seen.
+
+SAM: Any evil?
+
+LAURA: I’m sensing it.
+
+MATT: Nothing.
+
+SAM: Goddamn it.
+
+LAURA: No fucking evil!
+
+SAM: It’s Ornna! We know who it is! We know who
+the killer is!
+
+TALIESIN: While you’re talking to the twins, I’ll
+be talking to Ornna. Oh, for fuck’s sake.
+
+MATT: “To be honest, if it’s any easier, it’s
+probably Gustav.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not fucking Gustav.
+
+MATT: “It probably is, you shut up. He’s a prick,
+he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s going to run
+
+this whole carnival into the ground. I don’t want
+to take the fall for it, we all get away on this.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+TRAVIS: Little feet.
+
+LIAM: (snarling noises)
+
+TRAVIS: Eats and shoots the same way. (snarls)
+
+MARISHA: So wait, it’s probably Gustav? What makes
+you say that?
+
+MATT: "Because he’s in prison, he’s the leader,
+he’s fucked this whole thing by letting this
+
+happen.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Wow. You have interesting
+perspectives. Hey, weird question, how do you guys
+
+come up with your acts? Is that something that you
+guys create yourselves, or do you guys workshop it?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like she’s never experienced
+boredom. It’s very weird.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. It’s impressive.”
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, Ornna?
+
+MATT: Ornna goes, “Yes?”
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) I mean, I know your feelings on
+all this. What do you think?
+
+MATT: (sighs) “I’d say Bosun’s a stand up guy, if
+a bit of a self-absorbed dick at times. And we all
+
+"knew Gustav was going to shit the bed sooner or
+later, I mean, this is his karma. I just don’t
+
+"know how, or why, but I can guarantee you, if this
+was my carnival, this shit wouldn’t have happened.
+
+TALIESIN: Really?
+
+MATT: "Mm-hmm.”
+
+TALIESIN: What exactly would you have done?
+
+MATT: “Well, first off, I would have made sure
+that we had better support from the guard before
+
+this all happened so nobody else got killed.”
+
+TALIESIN: They were useless.
+
+MATT: “Secondly, I would have made sure that there
+weren’t any old folks that made it in to fucking
+
+turn into shit.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, that’s on me and– That’s on me.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know.”
+
+MARISHA: You feel the same way, Knot sisters? Feel
+like this is karma on Gustav?
+
+TALIESIN: They would.
+
+MATT: At which point, the flap of the tent opens
+up and it’s Jester.
+
+LAURA: It’s Ornna!
+
+SAM: Ornna, you have a lot of explaining to do!
+
+MARISHA: Shut up!
+
+SAM: You have a lot of explaining to do!
+
+MARISHA: Shut up!
+
+SAM: We’ve talked to Toya. She knows it’s you who
+did this!
+
+LAURA: We know you guys are in a fight all the
+time.
+
+SAM: You’re the one behind the whole plot! You did
+it!
+
+LAURA: You!
+
+MATT: The two Knot sisters immediately go, “Ornna?
+Is it you? Did you kill that guy?” Ornna’s like,
+
+“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What the
+fuck is this? Who the fuck are you!”
+
+LAURA: Why did you turn that guy into a zombie?
+
+SAM: Who do you work for!
+
+TALIESIN: Ornna, Ornna.
+
+MARISHA: Insight check on the Knot sisters!
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: They’ve got Nazi in their name!
+
+MARISHA: What?!
+
+SAM: Knot seesters.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+[all exclaiming]
+
+LIAM: Whispers!
+
+LAURA: The first whisper!
+
+MARISHA: Give me that sweet whisper!
+
+SAM: Guys, I don’t know about you. But my stats
+are so neat because of D&D Beyond tonight.
+
+LIAM: There’s no pencil smudges.
+
+SAM: No, I know right now I’ve got 14 of 15 hit
+points.
+
+TRAVIS: It opens, it closes, you can see your
+spells when you need to see them without
+
+flipping.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a little iPad button on the
+back of my pen, it’s quite nice.
+
+SAM: Start talking, or this gnome– nope! Goblin!
+Starts biting.
+
+MATT: Ornna goes, “To be perfectly honest, I have
+no idea what’s going on. Y'all just came in here,
+
+started throwing accusations at me. Gustav got
+arrested. Bosun got arrested. Molly got
+
+arrested, I’m glad you got off that. But to be
+perfectly honest, this whole thing’s a shit show.
+
+And the circus is probably not going to be the
+same after this.”
+
+LAURA: Insight check on the–
+
+MATT: Insight check on Ornna.
+
+LIAM: My cat is on patrol because we’ve been
+standing with our dicks in our hands for a long
+
+time.
+
+MATT: Yeah, I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: No! I’m not complaining, but I would have
+sent the cat out.
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+MATT: Kind of hard to read. She seems genuinely
+frustrated and caught off guard by this.
+
+LAURA: I think she’s telling the truth.
+
+TALIESIN: Ornna, you might as well come clean,
+this is classic you.
+
+MATT: She looks at you. “Molly.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just trying to–
+
+MATT: “Fuck you.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, fuck you, too. It’s no secret that
+Ornna and Gustav have their differences, but this
+
+ridiculous. I mean, she knows damn well that half
+the circus would leave if he got fucking arrested
+
+and died.
+
+MATT: “You’re for real worried about this? You
+really think who it could be? Let’s play. Gustav:
+
+he’s an idiot. But he’s not a murderer. Bosun: bit
+of a dick. But he’s a stand up fella. Toya:
+
+absolute doll. Couldn’t hurt a fly. Mona and Yuli:
+They’re cunts. But they’re not going to kill
+
+anyone. Desmond’s a weird fellow. There’s
+something dark in his past; you can see it in his
+
+melancholy.
+
+TALIESIN: But this is not his style.
+
+SAM: It’s Desmond. Let’s go to his tent!
+
+TALIESIN: I just grab–
+
+MATT: "There’s some untrustworthy intelligence in
+those lizard eyes of that devil.”
+
+LAURA: I did get a very evil kind of vibe off
+him.
+
+TALIESIN: What do you mean evil kind of vibe?
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean, he’s a fiend.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s what?
+
+LAURA: The devil toad guy. He’s a fiend.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s just a name. It’s not actually,
+like real thing. That just–
+
+[stammering]
+
+LAURA: You guys know he’s a fiend, right?
+
+MATT: There’s this moment of silence, like, “He’s
+supposed to be lizardfolk.”
+
+TALIESIN: What do you–
+
+SAM: It’s the lizard man!
+
+TALIESIN: I grab and push you down into the ground
+and hold you. (shushing sounds) Not yet.
+
+SAM: We’re cracking this case wide open.
+
+MATT: You guys, what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I mean, just because we’re standing here so
+long, I would have been nervous and again held on
+
+to this guy’s big bicep and sent the cat out.
+
+TRAVIS: Why are you going all catatonic on me?
+
+MATT: (laughs) Nice. As the cat darts under the
+tent and makes its way through, you glance over to
+
+the fire and sees a large dark shape step out from
+one of the tents and you watch as one of the
+
+guards who’s sitting in the chair stands up and
+crumples onto the ground without a sound. You see
+
+the other guard look over, go over and run up to him
+and start to check on him. You guys hear a voice
+
+in the back start saying, “Damon? Damon?”
+
+MARISHA: Just a guard. One of the guards.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, something bad is happening.
+
+MATT: You watch as the dark figure spins and two
+flashes of red in the shadow nearby and you watch
+
+as the other guard suddenly grabs his head and
+grasps at his chest and falls on his back as his
+
+legs curl up.
+
+MARISHA: What the fuck!
+
+LIAM: Do I know where in relation to Fjord and I
+this is?
+
+MATT: It is to the east of you, about 150 feet.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you talk to me when you’re looking
+through the cat?
+
+LIAM: I can talk, but I can’t hear anything when
+I’m doing this.
+
+MATT: Correct. You watch as the shadow bounds like
+a giant frog–
+
+LIAM: The frog is on the move. Frog is on the
+move.
+
+MATT: –northward.
+
+LIAM: Away from us? But I don’t know where the
+others are.
+
+MATT: You guys hear the name calling, and then
+silence once more.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Can we peek outside of the tent
+and see what’s going on?
+
+MATT: You guys go ahead and you look just as the
+guard on the ground is like (gurgling) and just
+
+stops moving. You see all the veins bulging.
+
+MARISHA: I run up to the guard and check his
+pulse. Is he still alive or is he paralyzed?
+
+MATT: As you come out of the tent, you watch as
+the flesh on his neck and throat splits and a very
+
+familiar transformation begins to take place as
+both of the guards begin to (growling).
+
+LAURA: Oh no. We have to fight them.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but get under the tent! We can get
+the drop!
+
+LIAM: I come out of it and I– Zombies. I start
+running towards the tent that I saw Jester peek
+
+out from under.
+
+MATT: As you guys rush underneath the big blue
+tent, you watch as the two guards that are quickly
+
+bulging and mutating, bits of their flesh
+dislodging from their body and falling. You watch
+
+now, up close, similar to the last time, but now
+that you are looking intently for this, you can
+
+see where there should be blood, it’s almost like
+dust and sand begin to spill from the wounds.
+
+Something you had noticed a little bit in the body
+of the old man before, but you didn’t know if it
+
+was decomposition or just general dirt.
+
+TALIESIN: Girls, we’re not supposed to be here.
+Can you help us handle this?
+
+MATT: You watch as the two halflings are like,
+“Fuck no!”
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) We’ll do what we can. If
+something goes wrong, nudity usually works.
+
+[laughing]
+
+MATT: The two mutated guards now, their armor
+bulging and broken in places, turn to the noises
+
+in the tent where you guys are.
+
+SAM: Are we in the same tent or are we in two
+different tents?
+
+MATT: You guys are all in one tent with the other
+girls. You are all jammed into the space. The two
+
+of you make your way outside of the large tent as
+you watch these two bulging, zombified creatures
+
+making their way towards the tent. And that’s
+where we’re going to pick up next time.
+
+(groaning)
+
+SAM: Bastard!
+
+MATT: Because it is 11 now.
+
+TRAVIS: But we’re not supposed to be there! We’re
+gonna get framed for it!
+
+MARISHA: Exactly, we can’t get framed!
+
+SAM: Can I just say, Laura and I busted the case
+wide open!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: That is true!
+
+SAM: We solved the case. Easy.
+
+LAURA: Totally.
+
+TALIESIN: Which one’s Nancy, which one’s Drew?
+
+SAM: Couple inquisitions. Couple little, uh–
+
+Following the clues.
+
+LAURA: That’s right.
+
+TALIESIN: Just one more question.
+
+TRAVIS: When that demon frog leapt, how high and
+how far, approximately, did it look like it went?
+
+MATT: It looks like it leapt about 20 to 25 feet
+in the air and traveled about 40 feet with the
+
+leap. It was a large arc.
+
+LAURA: So we definitely can’t fight that thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure we can.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god.
+
+MATT: You saw it escape northward from where you
+are.
+
+MARISHA: And did it look like the same figure?
+
+MATT: Yasha ran north, northeast. This is just
+straight north of where you are.
+
+Towards the Ustaloch.
+
+MARISHA: Towards Ustaloch! It’s the fucking lake!
+
+[crosstalk]
+
+TRAVIS: Oh man, this is good, dude!
+
+MARISHA: See, here’s my thing. Does anyone else
+notice that the zombie transformations seem like a
+
+serpent shedding its skin? Because they always
+slough off their skin?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s also done without any contact.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s done without any contact. He never
+touches him.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, he touched him, didn’t he?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LAURA: I thought he did.
+
+MATT: No, they just suddenly began to erupt in–
+
+LAURA: Hey, bonus news, though. The charm spell
+guy isn’t going to turn me dead!
+
+MATT: Look at that silver lining!
+
+TALIESIN: This season got dark. Season got dark.
+
+LAURA: Whoa. Tight tight tight tight.
+
+TRAVIS: Good shit. Little damaged voice, fuck
+yeah.
+
+MATT: That’ll be fun.
+
+LAURA: I wanted to cough for her.
+
+MATT: We’ll pick up there next week. The chase is
+on, apparently. Thank you guys so much for being
+
+awesome. Thank you guys for coming along and
+watching with us. We’ll pick this up next Thursday
+
+where we left off, right in the middle of this
+campsite. Until then, have a wonderful week. See
+
+you guys then. And, is it Thursday yet?
+
+Goodnight.
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Liam gets ever creative every week right
+before the camera goes live. Thank you, Liam.
+
+LIAM: First good one of the campaign, come on.
+
+MATT: Welcome! Before we jump into the game, we
+have some announcements, so we’ll get through
+
+those as quickly as possible. First and foremost,
+once again, returning, and for an extended time
+
+for the foreseeable future, we are happy to have a
+sponsored partner, D&D Beyond.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Awesome, fantastic application for those to
+make their D&D characters and store them online
+
+and adjust. Sam, do you want to go ahead and take
+it away?
+
+SAM: Yes! D&D Beyond is our awesome sponsor. It’s
+a great online mobile access thing that you can
+
+manage all sorts of stuff. I’m losing my voice
+tonight, because–
+
+MARISHA: Oh no!
+
+SAM: Yeah, I know. So that I can preserve my voice
+for the rest of the night, Laura, can you read the
+
+copy and I’ll lip sync it.
+
+LAURA: The joy of sitting next to you.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+Laura: Oh god. As you know, D&D Beyond is the
+official digital tool set for Critical Role. It’s
+
+got a ton of features, but one of the coolest is
+that it keeps track of stuff like hit points,
+
+inspiration, and all sorts of modifiers to your
+dice rolls, which is amazing, especially if you’re
+
+the kind of person that’s more focused on which
+dice you’re rolling with.
+
+SAM: Keep going.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: You know, the kind of superstitious gamer
+that thinks that the color and style of dice
+
+actually makes any difference at all. The sort of
+weirdo who believes some dice are lucky and some
+
+are cursed. Or one of those crackpot shut-ins who
+uses dice jails– ha ha ha. Those people are lame.
+
+Anyway, check them out at w-w-w-dot–
+
+SAM: Oh, keep going.
+
+LAURA: dndbeyond.com That’s D-N-D not D-and-D.
+DnD. Get $10 off any book in the marketplace with
+
+code ‘beginnings.’ Also, Sam Riegel is a cock
+bag.
+
+SAM: What?! No! That’s not what it says!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. Well done.
+
+TALIESIN: Classic, classic.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Laura, for the assist. Thank you,
+D&D Beyond for being an awesome partners on this
+
+new campaign. As a reminder, Talks Machina, with
+our recently paroled friend Brian W. Foster, your
+
+host every Thursday– I’m sorry, Tuesday– Tuesday
+nights at 7:00pm on Twitch and Project Alpha to
+
+talk about this episode that’s happening tonight,
+next week. Check it out if you’re around and want
+
+to see different cast members’ thoughts on what
+has transpired. The new campaign episode two is
+
+now available for download on podcast, so you can
+go ahead and find that where all great podcasts
+
+are available on the internet. Issue #4 of the
+Critical Role comic, Vox Machina: Origins is out!
+
+It’s been out for a couple of days now. It’s
+starting to ramp up towards the story climax in
+
+the next two issues. Pretty excited about it and
+the next two issues are crazy.
+
+LIAM: Well-oiled machine, that party.
+
+MATT: Those of us that know what happens in the
+next two issues, it’s like (quiet squeal) getting
+
+impatient.
+
+SAM: I don’t know what happens.
+
+LIAM: Oh my god. I saw some early black and white
+pages today.
+
+MATT: Olivia did such a good job. Olivia is our
+artist for it. She’s from the Critter community.
+
+She’s amazing and did an incredible job with the
+comic, so show her some love. Olivia Samson is
+
+amazing, and Matt Colville, of course, our writer.
+Everyone who works on the comic does a great job,
+
+so check it out if you haven’t had the chance.
+It’s available on digital download on the Dark
+
+Horse app, on ComiXology, and a lot of
+other awesome places on the internet
+
+you can probably find.
+
+MATT: Are you– oh jeez. Why do we put you two
+next to each other?
+
+LAURA: Look, I gave him a dice and he gave me a
+dice.
+
+MATT: Aw, that’s actually really cute. I apologize
+for being so snappy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I apologize if I’m a little puffy still. I
+had my wisdom teeth taken out.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: When?
+
+MATT: On Saturday.
+
+TRAVIS: No anesthetic.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Show us your mouth holes!
+
+MATT: No, you do not want that.
+
+LAURA: I expected your cheeks to be all poofy.
+
+MATT: They have been throughout the whole week and
+steadily, I have been like, “Please, please, don’t
+
+“be so bad on Thursday.” It’s okay. Not too bad
+today.
+
+LAURA: You look chiseled.
+
+MARISHA: He looks fine. It’s all in his head.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you dunk your head in a tub of ice and
+stuff?
+
+MATT: A lot of ice. A lot of ice. But that’s
+enough about me and my gum holes.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I would like to hide behind 50 characters
+now.
+
+MATT: Exactly. That’s my usual defense mechanism
+for social engagement. Also, once again, our
+
+fantastic charity, 826LA. If you haven’t had a
+chance, check it out. They do amazing programs for
+
+creative writing for underprivileged kids. If you
+have the opportunity to donate, or donate your
+
+time to become one of their fantastic volunteers,
+that would be fantastic. Check it out, we love
+
+them, and have been supporting them for a long
+time. They’re amazing. Thank you, 826LA. Or an 826
+
+near your home. I think those are all of the major
+announcements.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, that was fast!
+
+MATT: I know, we went through them fast.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t even sort my dice yet!
+
+MATT: No new cons or events. So with that, let’s
+dive into tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+[upbeat music]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Last we left off, this
+intrepid band of slowly converging individual
+
+stories into some semblance of an adventuring
+party have found themselves caught up in an
+
+investigation. There was a carnival you attended,
+which Mollymauk was a part of, that had a terrible
+
+scenario occur. An older man who was at the
+carnival had been transformed in the middle of a
+
+performance into some horrible undead creature
+that attacked and assaulted other people within
+
+the tent. You defeated it and since have all been
+under investigation and been told you can’t leave
+
+the town. To try and absolve yourselves of any
+sort of doubt, you’ve begun to investigate what
+
+the cause is for this strange transformation.
+You’ve gone around the town asking questions,
+
+meeting individuals, eventually finding yourselves
+back at the tent in the middle of the night, past
+
+midnight, in the early hours of the morning,
+sneaking into tents and asking members of the
+
+carnival what they may know about what has
+transpired. Upon speaking with a number of members
+
+of the carnival, two of the guards that were on
+site suddenly fell dead where they were standing,
+
+writhing in pain as they passed. You watched as a
+large shadow, which you had confirmed being
+
+fiendish in nature, leapt northward towards the
+Ustaloch and out of sight as both Fjord and Caleb
+
+rushed out of the main tent to see the center of
+the camp where these two bodies begin to rise up,
+
+two more of the freshly transformed undead
+creatures now angered and looking about for
+
+something to feast upon. And that was where we
+left off.
+
+TRAVIS: Totally good.
+
+SAM: No problem with our setup.
+
+LAURA: That was the third spell, by the way.
+Detect Good and Evil.
+
+MATT: Okay, there you go. So how many spells do
+you have left?
+
+LAURA: No spells. I’ve got cantrips though, so
+don’t worry, guys.
+
+MATT: Well–
+
+TALIESIN: No burger left. Just onion rings.
+
+LAURA: Just the fried piece. Not even an onion
+left in there.
+
+MATT: I would like you all to roll initiative,
+please.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, right off the bat?
+
+MATT: Yeah!
+
+SAM: We’re fighting already?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, natural 20!
+
+SAM: Nope!
+
+I rolled her dice, it was a one, I’m never
+rolling it again.
+
+LAURA: Oh! Yours rolled a one, too.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: We rolled low. Level two!
+
+LAURA: Oh no, oh no!
+
+MATT: All righty. 20 to 15.
+
+MARISHA: 24.
+
+MATT: Beau at the top. 15 to 10?
+
+LIAM: Elf. 11.
+
+SAM: Is that German?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: Ten to five.
+
+SAM: Five.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight. That’s a number.
+
+MATT: That it is. You?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. Three.
+
+LIAM: Three!
+
+LAURA: You have three initiative? What’s your
+initiative?
+
+LIAM: What’s your modifier?
+
+TRAVIS: Zero.
+
+MATT: So. Five.
+
+LIAM: Holy. Shit.
+
+MATT: The good news is they didn’t roll very high,
+either, but still better than a lot of you. And
+
+then three and three?
+
+LAURA: No, I’m four.
+
+MATT: Okay, there we go.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re one, right?
+
+SAM: I have five. One plus four.
+
+LIAM: And you’re one plus nothing?
+
+LAURA: One plus three.
+
+MATT: You watch as these two zombified guards,
+their brass-colored scale armor clanking as their
+
+forms rise up, looking around, peer past the
+shadowed darkness around the campfire lighting the
+
+interior. The horses grow nervous as you watch
+both Caleb and Fjord emerge from the tent right in
+
+their sights. You watch as they both
+begin to lumber in your direction.
+
+TRAVIS: Son of a bitch.
+
+SAM: You guys are out in the open?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, they’re just sitting there.
+
+LIAM: We just walked out of the tent door and are
+looking at that.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank god there’s that cart right there.
+
+LIAM: We’re safe.
+
+MATT: They come right up to you.
+
+LAURA: They are fast moving zombies!
+
+MATT: Well, that’s all it can do. It dashed. It
+lurches towards them. They move a little bit
+
+quicker than you’d expect, but not necessarily
+that quick. They both spend their full turns
+
+trying to close the gap. For the horses–
+
+LIAM: Is that one five or ten feet away from me?
+
+The horses immediately freak out
+and start running this direction in a gallop.
+
+LIAM: Oh, damn it.
+
+TRAVIS: There goes that idea.
+
+TALIESIN: It was such a good idea.
+
+SAM: The horses have better initiative
+than all of us.
+
+MATT: That’s going to go ahead and end their go.
+Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Jester and Molly. Fucking– we
+probably shouldn’t kill crownsguard, even if it’s
+
+a zombie. Should we go after the toad?
+
+LAURA: We should probably kill the zombies because
+anybody that gets bitten by a zombie turns into
+
+another zombie!
+
+MARISHA: I don’t want to be a guard killer. All
+right, fine.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t want to be a fucking zombie.
+
+TRAVIS: We just can’t be here.
+
+MARISHA: Can I peek out and see the
+guard-zombies?
+
+TALIESIN: They did run by.
+
+MATT: You watch them as you peek under the tent
+and they both just ran to the right.
+
+MARISHA: Can I crawl out from under the tent and
+clear the gap with them and get up to them?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, fancy.
+
+SAM: Cool map.
+
+MATT: That’s as close as you can get right there.
+You can go into a dash if you wanted to engage
+
+directly.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, man, I don’t know what to do.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s all right. Work it out.
+
+MATT: Actually, this is my fault. I rolled for the
+zombies to see who they saw first, but technically
+
+their turn hadn’t come up yet. That’s my fault,
+because their initiative is lower in the order, so
+
+we’re going to retcon a little bit of that. That’s
+still there.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) Rewind!
+
+MATT: Because your initiative was super high.
+That’s totally my bad. It’s early enough in the
+
+combat where it’s not going to make a huge
+difference. But you do watch as they turn and they
+
+look past the direction like they’re ready to dart
+towards the actual large carnival tent.
+
+LAURA: Now I just want to do Hamilton with all our
+character voices.
+
+MARISHA: After Jester trying to help me, can I
+close the gap to this guy?
+
+MATT: You can at this point, yeah. It’s two
+squares to get there.
+
+TRAVIS: Look at that mini!
+
+LAURA: Oh, you’re out there all by yourself!
+Beau!
+
+MARISHA: It’s cool, man.
+
+TRAVIS: Cut them down with those guns.
+
+MARISHA: Is that fire still going?
+
+MATT: It’s not a huge blaze, but there’s some
+flames in it. It’s starting to burn out a little
+
+bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Both barrels. Six shooter. Give it to
+them.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. With my initial attack as I run up,
+can I take my staff and try and take them out at
+
+the knees? Just a sweep?
+
+MATT: Sure. I’d say go ahead and make an athletics
+check.
+
+TRAVIS: Knock them prone?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s what I’m going for.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+TRAVIS: I like that a lot.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not great. Nine.
+
+MATT: Rolled a natural 20 on his end.
+
+MARISHA: Shit!
+
+MATT: As you swing with the staff, it slams into
+the side of the guard’s leg and you hear the
+
+slight crack of wood as the armored exterior of
+the zombified form seems to stand resolute against
+
+the strength of your blow. Its head, which was
+turned off angrily towards the shadowed direction
+
+of Caleb and Fjord, turns back, the red burning
+coals for eyes now glaring in your direction. What
+
+are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: I look at him and I say, you fucking
+broke my stick! I’m going to do an elbow to the
+
+face and then another punch with the staff still
+in my hand and do Flurry of Blows.
+
+MATT: Well, you did your one attack to sweep him.
+It’s an unarmed attack for your next two.
+
+MARISHA: Right, I know. I’m doing an elbow and a
+punch, I’m just holding my staff.
+
+MATT: Right. Misunderstood. Okay, go for it. Roll
+for the attack.
+
+MARISHA: Two attacks, right?
+
+MATT: You got it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god, this makes me so nervous. That’s
+good! 19 for the first one.
+
+MATT: 19 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, and a natural one for the second.
+
+MATT: You guys with the ones at the start of this
+fight!
+
+LAURA: I don’t know what’s happening!
+
+MATT: Roll damage for the first one.
+
+TRAVIS: You can’t be too cocky.
+
+MATT: I know, apparently.
+
+MARISHA: Eight?
+
+LAURA: What’s new at the table?
+
+TALIESIN: Everything.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. As you elbow across,
+wham! You watch as the jaw hangs and dislodges a
+
+bit, and as its head turns towards you, you reach
+with your other first and it catches it in the
+
+middle of the air and it tries to bite at your
+arm, but the jaw hangs open, not able to actually
+
+find any purchase in your arm. I believe that ends
+your turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I am going to move over a bit towards that
+carriage and I pull the diamond out of my
+
+component pouch and a small prismatic ball forms
+over it. I take my other hand and spin it really
+
+fast and little ice shards start shooting out of
+the side. I take it with the free hand and I’m
+
+going to throw it like a fucking baseball pitcher
+at the one closest to Beauregard.
+
+MATT: Right there? Okay. So go ahead and roll your
+attack on that.
+
+LIAM: D&D Beyond, where did you go? Oh, that’s
+good! 23.
+
+MATT: 23 definitely hits.
+
+LIAM: Okay. So that is cold damage. 3d8. Come on!
+Nine total.
+
+MATT: Nine points of cold damage to it. You watch
+as it’s trying to bite with no effect towards
+
+Beau’s arm as she’s pulling away. The sphere slams
+into the side of its shoulder, it would be this
+
+side, and it pulls back. You watch as the arm
+breaks a bit and the ice shards coalesce around
+
+the outside of the armor and linger with this
+frost and mist that sprays off the impact. It
+
+looks fairly damaged.
+
+LIAM: Question, am I supposed to roll initiative
+for Frumpkin as well?
+
+MATT: Technically by the rules, yes. But it might
+be easier to have you guys go at the same time.
+
+LIAM: Okay, if that’s what you want to do.
+
+MATT: Sure, for now.
+
+LIAM: I’m sending Frumpkin to zip under that tent.
+He has 40 feet of movement.
+
+MATT: This one here?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Easy enough. Frumpkin is underneath there.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s inside?
+
+MARISHA: What’s in the tent?
+
+TRAVIS: (sneezing) Fucking cat.
+
+MATT: That your turn?
+
+LIAM: That’s it, ja.
+
+LAURA: This is so cute. Look at all
+the little barrels.
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to burst out of the tent. Can
+I make it to the one that Beau is fighting?
+
+MATT: (counting) You can indeed.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to make it to the one that
+Beau is fighting and I’m going to take two
+
+straight attacks with my scimitar.
+
+MATT: Go for it. You see half of its body encased
+in ice now, and it’s still lashing out in Beau’s
+
+direction as you rush up.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a 15 and a natural 20.
+
+MATT: Okay then!
+
+TALIESIN: Without even figuring out, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Fifteen plus whatever.
+
+MATT: Those both hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20 is just double the die,
+right?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, iron snitch.
+
+LAURA: Make up for our shortcomings, Taliesin!
+
+MATT: Which one’s which?
+
+TALIESIN: First one is (counting) 15?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, dude.
+
+TALIESIN: No, double, I have to roll two dice,
+right?
+
+MATT: The first attack is that die, so that’s not
+the critical.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, that’s fine. That’s nine points of
+damage. Then two dice or double the dice?
+
+MATT: We’ll just double the die, it’s fine. It’s
+fun to do it that way. Less dice to have to roll.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 13 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Ha, nope. So you watch as it’s slashing at
+Beau. The ice explodes in its side and Mollymauk
+
+comes walking out of the tent, both of the
+scimitars spinning in his hand like this dervish
+
+entity. As he slams both blades simultaneously
+into the sides of this creature, he cuts a v shape
+
+into the upper torso and it slips out of it. The
+central portion of its body slips onto the ground
+
+with a splat and the arms fall to the side and the
+body collapses onto the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: I turn and smile at Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks.
+
+LAURA: You cut like a little v cake with head.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a pizza pie with a pizza slice. I
+turn 180 and get ready for the other one.
+
+MARISHA: Doesn’t make me trust you any more. Less,
+actually.
+
+MATT: Which is now its turn. Having you rush out
+of the tent, its attention once in the distance,
+
+it traces you over as you attack its ally. It
+lunges over towards you and makes two strikes in
+
+your direction.
+
+TALIESIN: I make eye contact with it and, fuck it,
+just for fun I’m going to burn my blood maledict.
+
+There’s going to be a blood vessel that pops on my
+neck and I’m going to make him cry.
+
+TRAVIS: “I’m just going to make him cry”!
+
+MATT: The bulging red eyes suddenly go black and
+thick droplets of blood-like ichor begin to spill
+
+out the corners of the zombie’s eyes.
+
+TALIESIN: I take three damage.
+
+MATT: Oh are you–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m amplifying.
+
+MATT: You take three damage. This attack and the
+next attack he has disadvantage on.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh shit, that’s awesome!
+
+MATT: 16 and an eight for the first attack so that
+bring it down to a 12 to hit.
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+MATT: As it rushes towards you, you can see the
+opening as it swings too wide and you duck right
+
+out of the way. Second attack with disadvantage as
+well. That’s a 19 and a 16, so the 16 plus four
+
+that’s 20, so it still hits.
+
+TALIESIN: It still hits. That’s fine.
+
+MATT: The first one you duck out of the way.
+However, the secondary slam hits you for five
+
+points of bludgeoning damage across your shoulder.
+You get pushed back into Beau and Beau catches
+
+your fall.
+
+TRAVIS: Not the jacket!
+
+TALIESIN: Ow.
+
+MATT: That ends its go. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: It’s still alive?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Nott is going to hard charge out of the tent.
+Not at the beast, but across the courtyard. Yes.
+
+As fast as she can go, saying: Shit shit shit! Can
+she make it to that box?
+
+MATT: She can’t, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: She can’t?
+
+MATT: No, it’s (counting). You can get to right
+there.
+
+SAM: As she’s running, she’s going to fire her
+crossbow at the dude. 11 plus six, 17.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Wow!
+
+Your dice just ollied off of the side of
+your dice tray! If this was Tony Hawk, you would
+
+be accumulating points still, it’s racking it up.
+
+LIAM: I’ve seen this Twilight episode. He knows
+what is behind your screen the rest of the game!
+
+MARISHA: Give him the multiplier!
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+SAM: Okay, so that is seven points of damage and
+sneak attack damage?
+
+MATT: Correct, as it is adjacent to Molly.
+
+SAM: Another two points.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Oh! And why not? I’ll use Fury of the Small!
+Add another two points.
+
+MATT: That’s a full ten points of damage to him.
+
+SAM: Yes and then bonus action can I just hide
+behind that thing?
+
+MATT: You can’t hide behind it because you’d have
+to get behind it, but you can use your bonus
+
+action to dash and get behind it. You’re not
+technically hiding, but you’ll move in this direction.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s what rouges can do, they can use
+their bonus action to dash?
+
+SAM: Apparently?
+
+MATT: Yep. You get behind. “Oh god!” That finishes
+your turn, Nott. That brings us to Jester! You’re up!
+
+LAURA: Oh okay! I’m going to sit down on the
+ground and open the tent.
+
+MATT: And look out?
+
+LAURA: And look out.
+
+MATT: You see this sudden interaction of everyone,
+or at least Beau and Molly leaping towards the
+
+standing zombie.
+
+LAURA: Then I say: Oh shit, I shouldn’t have used
+all those spells earlier. All I have is Sacred
+
+Flame, and I’m going to do that. I’m going to
+shoot Sacred Flame and at the same time I’m going
+
+to go: Frumpkin, come here, let me pet you!
+
+MATT: All right so Sacred Flame is a saving throw
+for the–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s a 13 dexterity.
+
+MATT: It actually rolled exactly a 13 with no
+modifiers, so it does succeed.
+
+LAURA: That doesn’t do any damage then?
+
+MATT: Well, what does it say on the spell, is it
+half damage or no damage?
+
+LAURA: It just says that’s it.
+
+MATT: Okay then yeah, sorry.
+
+LAURA: Balls! (Coughs) Shit. Frumpkin! Lumpy, come
+here.
+
+MATT: Let me double check that.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, guys.
+
+MATT: That finishes Jester’s turn. Fjord, you’re
+up.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, can I fucking run up past the
+cart? Charge into the fray with my 30 speed.
+
+MATT: That’s about as close as you can get right
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I pull out my falchion? I’ll flip it
+over so it’s pommel up and I will use Eldritch
+
+Blast towards the remaining zombie.
+
+MATT: As you hold your arm out in force, the edge
+of the pommel glows with this dark, black, purple,
+
+crackling energy, and this single bolt of Eldritch
+energy fires out in the direction. Roll for the attack.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a 14.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+SAM: Travis is using magic.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m telling you, it’s all happening you
+guys! That is nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage, nice. It hits and the
+armor dents inward, to the point where if it was
+
+still a living human, it probably would’ve caused
+some serious internal bleeding or bludgeoning, but
+
+the creature seems relatively unphased by the
+impact, other than being pushed onto one foot then
+
+back on its, two-foot weight. That ends your
+turn.
+
+TRAVIS: I look around and say we need to drop this
+fucker and get the hell out of Dodge.
+
+(laughing)
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no way we’re going to be
+able to take this shit seriously.
+
+MATT: Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, back to the top. I’m going to do
+with my two-handed, I’m going to use my
+
+quarterstaff two-handed and come down and try and
+crack it over his head.
+
+MATT: All right, you have to move over to him,
+though.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, can I step over the dead guy.
+Sorry, excuse me.
+
+MATT: You vault off of the corpse of the other
+zombie guard and then leap down with your staff
+
+towards him, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Goddamn it, fuck, balls and shit. 13.
+
+MATT: 13 still hits.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! Fuck yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: If you weren’t drinking a sea anemone.
+
+MARISHA: You’re so weirded out about it. 11 points
+of damage.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. Wham! You slam into it
+and watch as it (impact). It’s starting to look
+
+pretty beat up, but it’s still standing.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn, that armor’s helping it, huh?
+
+MATT: You have a bonus action if you still want
+it.
+
+MARISHA: I can hit again with my bonus, right? I’m
+still trying to figure this out.
+
+MATT: Every turn, as long as you’re attacking with
+your action, you can bonus attack with you unarmed
+
+strike. Then use a ki point to double attack if
+you want.
+
+MARISHA: Right. Learning these combat abilities,
+it’s weird. Okay. I’m going to be like: Ugh, die!
+
+I’m going to do a big roundhouse kick to his
+head.
+
+MATT: Go for it, roll for the attack.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s awesome.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good, that’s a 16!
+
+MATT: 16 hits! Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: That’s an unarmed strike? Okay, eight
+points!
+
+MATT: Eight points?!
+
+MARISHA: It’s a two, plus– No, wait! I’m sorry,
+six points. I was looking at the wrong thing.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. Six points of damage. Whack!
+You slam it in the side of the head with a
+
+roundhouse kick and watch as the neck snaps and
+the head is stick there like (snarling). It’s
+
+trying to snarl, but you can hear the windpipe is
+closed off at the angle that it got snapped and
+
+it’s making this horrible choking sound.
+
+MARISHA: I go, “Ugh, Molly!”
+
+“Do it!”
+
+MATT: Caleb, your turn.
+
+LIAM: Okay I’m also tapped as well. I’m going to
+back up against the tent that we came out of and
+
+with a sinking pit in my stomach, my hand starts
+to blacken and flake and fire springs from the
+
+palm and it shoots, and I cast Fire Bolt.
+
+MATT: Roll for the attack.
+
+LAURA: Is that a cantrip?
+
+LIAM: That is a cantrip, yeah. That’s good though,
+that’s 17.
+
+MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LIAM: That’s 1d10, that’s this guy here that I
+never used in the last campaign. Oh, that’s four.
+
+MATT: Four points of damage. All right. The bolt
+slams into the side of its head where it was hit
+
+by Beau, and actually snaps it back into place.
+You watch its eyes lull for a second and it comes
+
+back with renewed undead strength.
+
+LAURA: Renewed undead strength?
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Undead strength.
+
+MATT: Renewed in the sense that for a second you
+watched the light flicker out but it seems to push
+
+through by the force of the enchantment that holds
+it aloft.
+
+MARISHA: Beau goes: Who undid my work?
+
+LIAM: I probably have a little bit of movement
+left.
+
+MATT: You’ve got ten feet.
+
+LIAM: I would like to sidle into the tent that I
+exited before and disappear. Frumpkin will dart
+
+across behind Molly to the little tent.
+
+LAURA: No, don’t leave me!
+
+MATT: (Counting) What’s the movement on Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: 40.
+
+MATT: All right. That’s your turn?
+
+LIAM: Ja, that’s it.
+
+MATT: All right. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take two more shots, I’m
+going to see if I can decapitate–
+
+MATT: Two more shots?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh man! I’ve got to get out of that
+habit.
+
+LAURA: Two more swings?
+
+TALIESIN: Two more swings, see if I can decapitate
+it.
+
+LAURA: Two more flourishes.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s an eight.
+
+MATT: Eight? Misses.
+
+TALIESIN: But a 16 does not.
+
+MATT: 16 does hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage.
+
+As the blade sinks into its shoulder and you
+see it carves in and jams halfway through the
+
+torso, the armor stopping it part way before it
+lodges in, and it leans forward. (growling) It’s
+
+still standing, and your blade’s stuck in the
+abdomen.
+
+LAURA: Renewed, undead strength.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn, Molly. It’s
+going to take its first slam, swipe at you. Since
+
+you’re immediately in front of it. That’s a
+natural 20. I’m rolling some good 20s tonight.
+
+TRAVIS: What dice did you use?
+
+MATT: What other dice?
+Of course it’s the snitch.
+
+TRAVIS: (screaming) No, look what you did!
+
+Come back to bite you in the anus.
+
+TALIESIN: This is not looking good.
+This is looking very bad.
+
+MATT: 11 points of bludgeoning damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: It clocks you across the side of
+the temple. You’re vision goes blurring for a
+
+second. You spit across the ground. You’re used to
+the sight of your own blood, but now it’s across
+
+the grass and dirt at your foot. You start to feel
+yourself get a bit woozy. It’s going to go ahead
+
+and spin around and strike you with its open claw
+with the other arm.
+
+TALIESIN: I swear I thought I could kill it.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 16 to hit?
+
+TALIESIN: That hits.
+
+SAM: Man down.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, baby.
+
+MATT: That is nine points of bludgeoning damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, I’m out.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughing) Yeah, first one!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+Christ!
+
+TRAVIS: Write the history books.
+
+MATT: You guys watch as the first hit clocks Molly
+hard. The second one is this clawing uppercut. He
+
+goes backwards dropping one scimitar; the other
+one being left, stuck in the body of the undead
+
+guard. As it now glances back towards Beau to
+its right. That’s the end of Molly’s turn, and the
+
+zombie’s turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Kill it, Nott!
+
+TRAVIS: You didn’t fall into the fire, right?
+
+MATT: No, he fell straight back.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you sure?
+
+MATT: If he rolled a one, we’d talk.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I’m immune to fire, anyways or
+some such thing.
+
+MATT: Fire resistance?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, fire resistance.
+
+TRAVIS: Because of your magical, technicolor
+dreamcoat?
+
+MATT: Nott, what do you got? You just watched
+Molly go down.
+
+TALIESIN: Out, but not dead.
+
+SAM: Seeing one of us die scares the shit out of
+me.
+
+MATT: Unconscious.
+
+SAM: No, dead forever.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve just started working on a new
+character tonight. Thank god.
+
+SAM: I start charging out at the beast.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: I get about halfway. I fire my crossbow
+(wailing scream).
+
+Fire the crossbow.
+
+TRAVIS: So brave.
+
+SAM: That’s a natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: With sneak attack you double your dice.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: It doesn’t even matter the damage you deal.
+If the damage from a critical hit, it doesn’t get
+
+its undead fortitude.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: I’m low to the ground so probably in the back
+of the calf or something. Before it falls, I’m
+
+going to turn and run into the tent. I don’t even
+know if I hit. (screaming)
+
+LIAM: That’s my girl.
+
+MATT: Molly, as you watch it turn around towards
+you, suddenly it lurches as a crossbow bolt
+
+shatters its kneecap from behind. Its other leg,
+which had been partially damaged from the process
+
+of getting up and combat that’s happened isn’t
+enough to keep it aloft. It tumbles back into the
+
+fire and immediately begins to burn as it begins
+to scream and squeal. See the flames begin to burn
+
+and engulf its body before eventually it comes to
+rest, no longer held by this undead magic that
+
+keeps it standing. Quiet falls over the
+encampment.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+Molly. Well, next up, as this is now
+
+important, Jester it’s your turn.
+
+LAURA: I come running out of the tent. Say: Molly!
+Oh shit, oh no! Okay. I kneel down next to him and
+
+I’ll do Spare the Dying cantrip.
+
+SAM: It’s a cantrip?
+
+LAURA: Yes. It took someone going unconscious,
+guys.
+
+SAM: It’s designed for this moment.
+
+MATT: That being the case, you become stable.
+
+TALIESIN: (gasps)
+
+MATT: You’re not conscious yet, but you’re stable.
+You don’t have to make–
+
+LAURA: Can I try and do some medicine on him? Does
+that heal him at all?
+
+MATT: Do you have a healer’s kit?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think so.
+
+TRAVIS: She has desserts.
+
+LAURA: I have doughnuts, some paint supplies.
+
+MATT: Beau as you’re standing here, Molly is no
+longer bleeding out. He’s breathing and coughing
+
+in the unconsciousness from the pain. You watch as
+Jester is fiddling through her bag, pulling things
+
+out.
+
+MARISHA: You have a six pack of donuts, but you
+don’t have a healer’s kit in there? And you’re the
+
+cleric? I’m confused.
+
+LAURA: I’m the cleric? What is this? I’ve never
+traveled with a bunch of people that I thought
+
+would die in front of me, okay? I never needed a
+healer’s kit before.
+
+MARISHA: Well, congratulations, you’re the cleric
+now.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) You have a healer’s kit? Oh my
+gosh. I’ve always wanted one of these for so
+
+long.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give it to her. Here, it’s a gift.
+Congratulations-on-you-being-in-a-new group gift.
+
+LAURA: Yes! How do I use this, though?
+
+SAM: Oh no, she’s not proficient.
+
+LAURA: I open it and rummage through a bunch of
+shit here.
+
+TRAVIS: No vanilla extract or sprinkles?
+
+MATT: I’ll say for the instance of this, since
+it’s not necessarily immediate danger of him dying
+
+off. Go ahead and make a medicine check.
+
+SAM: Use my dice that I gave you.
+
+LAURA: Should I?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LAURA: What if I roll a one on it?
+
+SAM: That’s what I’m hoping for.
+
+SAM: That’s a strong four.
+
+LAURA: A nine?
+
+MATT: Okay, I’ll say– (sighs). He’s still
+unconscious. Given a little bit of time, he’ll
+
+come back to consciousness. Ten minutes or so. You
+can probably, eventually through the use of strong
+
+vapors or something you can bring him back from
+the brink. At this point the rest of the carnival
+
+currently within the vicinity begin to emerge from
+the tents seeing that the danger has passed.
+
+SAM: Is there any young girl in the tent with me?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You glance around the interior of the
+chamber which has a unique smell to the inside.
+
+You smelled it before, but it catches you very
+strongly now that there’s quiet and you’re not
+
+focused on anything else. A very faint smell of
+brimstone lingers within the tent, mingling with
+
+the wet grass. You look around and see no girl.
+
+LIAM: What does happen is Frumpkin scrabbles up
+your back and comes to your shoulder, and I’m
+
+watching everything from my hidey hole.
+
+MARISHA: I immediately drop down and start
+searching the guard.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, is any of their armor still usable?
+Because we can pretend we’re guards for some
+
+reason.
+
+MATT: The one that he cleaved, the armor is not
+functional at all. The other one, the last one to
+
+die, the armor is still functional. It is dented
+and beat up, but it’s still functional. There’s
+
+the slightly tarnished brass armor. Then there’s
+the red maroon color. It’s like a scale mail
+
+chestplate and armplates for it. It could be used
+but it’s still a big piece of armor. You’d have to
+
+lug it around or wear it.
+
+TRAVIS: We still look like Crownsguard.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MATT: You both do, currently.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb and I.
+
+LIAM: We probably have a half hour at this point?
+
+MATT: About, yeah.
+
+LAURA: We should get out of here soon though
+because guards could be coming.
+
+TRAVIS: Did anybody see what happened or where
+that hellish toad went?
+
+LAURA: It jumped off that way.
+
+TRAVIS: You saw it?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The Knot twins emerge like, “Where are the
+guards, the rest of them? Are more coming or is
+
+this all of them?”
+
+LAURA: There’s probably more coming, I would
+think.
+
+TRAVIS: We can’t be here.
+
+MATT: “Do you think we should run?”
+
+MARISHA: We should hide the evidence.
+
+TRAVIS: What? Where?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know who should run where.
+
+TALIESIN: (groans)
+
+LAURA: I have his head in my lap and I’m slapping
+his cheek consistently.
+
+MARISHA: Was there nothing useful on the guard?
+
+MATT: As you continue to search through, aside
+from the armor that seems functional, each of them
+
+have a basic longsword.
+
+TALIESIN: One of them has my sword embedded in
+their chest.
+
+MATT: Yes. Which can be pulled out. Between the
+two of them you can gather about six gold pieces
+
+and four silver pieces.
+
+LAURA: Ooh!
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t want to get these folk in any more
+trouble. How far is it from here to the lake?
+
+MATT: Glancing off to the side you can see the
+lake is maybe 400 to 500 feet north.
+
+TRAVIS: I say we could drag them and throw them
+into the lake to avoid suspicion on the carnival.
+
+We’ve got to get out of here.
+
+MARISHA: How well did the fire burn the other
+body? Did it do pretty well or–
+
+MATT: It’s pretty burned. The maroon robes on the
+one armor is damaged and can possibly be salvaged.
+
+The armor on the one that is burned can be used.
+The robes or the maroon cloth is burned away
+
+entirely. The armor looks like its been burned. It
+has blackened, charcoal edges to it.
+
+LIAM: Nott, you feel Frumpkin’s claws slowly and
+deliberately squeeze into your shoulder.
+
+SAM: That means I have to go.
+
+TRAVIS: Where’s Caleb?
+
+MARISHA: I thought he was with you.
+
+TRAVIS: He was. I look around for Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay. If you’re right there, you’re not far
+from the tent. You head back and see he’s not on
+
+the outside of the tent.
+
+SAM: The smell of sulfur, I mean brimstone, do I
+figure that it’s probably the residual from the
+
+big toad guy or is there a substance in the room
+that is causing it?
+
+MATT: Make a religion check.
+
+SAM: A religion check? One.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You believe the little girl may have tooted
+before where she went to where she is.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a devastating toot.
+
+SAM: I’m going to try and get out of the tent
+through the side. Like underneath the side and
+
+towards the horse. Yeah, back there. Looking for
+Caleb.
+
+MATT: You glance over and you don’t see Caleb. You
+do see Fjord is in the process of looking in the
+
+area. You walk up and Caleb is nowhere near the
+tent on the outside. You don’t know where he is.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, have you seen Caleb?
+
+SAM: No, not yet. Is he okay? Did he live? Did
+everyone live?
+
+TRAVIS: You got his little cat right there on your
+shoulder.
+
+SAM: Oh yes I do, hi. Yeah, so he can’t be far.
+
+TRAVIS: We need to get out of here. We need to
+follow after that toad.
+
+SAM: Okay. There’s horses around here, let’s steal
+them.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s actually not a terrible idea.
+
+LAURA: Ooh good, we can put Molly on the back of
+the wagon. That way we can get him out of here.
+
+And the guards’ bodies, too! That way we can drop
+them off away from the carnival and people won’t
+
+think it’s related.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, you are so speaking my
+language.
+
+LAURA: I’m a very wise person.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a great idea. Let’s do that.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Who wants to help me with the one totally
+charred body?
+
+LAURA: I’ll do it. I go pick him up and carry
+him.
+
+MATT: An impressive display of physical strength.
+The little, adorable tiefling, without an issue
+
+lifts the body out of the charred bits of burnt
+wood and charcoal.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit. Never would have known.
+
+MARISHA: I grab the other body and start dragging
+it or at least its torso.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll help you.
+
+MATT: Ornna gives a hand and helps you. The Knot
+sisters look like they want to be absolved of this
+
+whole scenario and look like they’re about to flee
+at any moment.
+
+SAM: Might I point out real quick, up to this
+point we are fugitives who haven’t committed a
+
+crime. But starting now we will be fugitives who
+have committed crimes. Are we sure we want to do this?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean it’s either that or leave the
+carnival and take the fall for what is two dead
+
+crownsguard.
+
+SAM: All right, let’s go. But I have to find Caleb
+first.
+
+LIAM: Caleb gets over it and he comes out and
+starts helping push the bodies onto the– doesn’t
+
+say anything, but starts pushing bodies onto the
+back of the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Where’d you go?
+
+LIAM: This is not my thing. I am not brave like
+Nott. Let’s get out of here, please.
+
+TRAVIS: You shot shit out of your hands. I don’t
+think you were not brave. That was really
+
+impressive.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, you were shooting shit out of your
+hands?
+
+TRAVIS: It was fire. It’s a figure of fucking
+speech.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: I haven’t learned that one yet. Some day.
+
+LAURA: Somebody needs to grab Molly. He’s still
+over there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, okay. We go back over there and we
+fucking grab Molly. I grab him by his horns.
+
+MATT: As you’re dragging Molly, Molly, your eyes
+lull open and you’re at one hit point. Come to
+
+consciousness.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m at one hit point?
+
+MATT: You’re being dragged.
+
+MARISHA: I start hooking up the horses.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re hooking them all up to?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, one is going to hook up to the
+wagon and I’ll– which wagon do we want to take?
+
+LAURA: The one with the two horses attached, yo.
+Can you see it?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: We’ll take that one.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Unhook the other horse so we can steal that
+one, too.
+
+MATT: As you guys are doing this, the two Knot
+sisters talking to each other, look around, and
+
+they go running to the southeast.
+
+LAURA: They’re outies.
+
+MATT: They’re out.
+
+SAM: Should I shoot them?
+
+TALIESIN: They’re okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that single horse a mustang?
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+TALIESIN: Really?
+
+TRAVIS: What? Can I ask a simple question?
+
+MARISHA: We better get $100,000 from Ford for that
+one. We better fucking get that.
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not a mare? I’m just checking.
+
+MATT: No, no it is.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just very curious as to the sex of the horse,
+that’s all.
+
+MATT: Roll a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 12. No, 14.
+
+MATT: That is a mustang.
+
+LIAM: Is its name Roy?
+
+SAM: The white one?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you going to name it Sally?
+
+TRAVIS: You’ll find out.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I had that coming.
+
+LIAM: During all the busywork, I’m not saying
+anything, but I keep giving worried and stressed
+
+glances at my little friend.
+
+LAURA: Don’t worry, Caleb, I’m okay.
+
+MATT: You guys have the bodies loaded up, both the
+charred and the slashed one, onto the cart.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull my sword back out and
+start trying to get the horses going.
+
+LAURA: He’s alive! You’re awake!
+
+TALIESIN: That really hurt.
+
+LAURA: How do you feel?
+
+TALIESIN: I feel terrible.
+
+LAURA: I saved your life. You should be really
+grateful.
+
+TALIESIN: I can do that. I can do that.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, I appreciate you trying to rally
+the horses right now, but I really think you
+
+should rest.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m fine. I’m going to actually fall
+back into the cart.
+
+MARISHA: I take the reins.
+
+MATT: All right. Easy enough to find any sort of
+material if you wanted to cover the contents of
+
+the cart. You guys are ready to go. Ornna is
+standing there alone. “I think I should stay here.”
+
+LAURA: Are you sure?
+
+MATT: “What, and be a fugitive? I can explain what
+happened. Hopefully.”
+
+LAURA: What are you going to say to them?
+
+MATT: “Exactly what happened. The same thing that
+turned these guards ran off and you’re hoping to
+
+stop it.”
+
+LAURA: Don’t say that we were here. Don’t mention
+we were here. That’s pretty important, I think.
+
+Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: You couldn’t see us in the low light, but
+they chased after whatever caused this.
+
+MATT: “Okay. I can do that. I can’t leave Gustav
+and Bosun in prison to take the fall for this.”
+
+LAURA: We’ll get them out of it.
+
+LIAM: Would you have the abilities to burn these
+things up the way we did? Are you capable? Could
+
+you have killed these things? Is that believable
+for people who know you?
+
+MATT: “I’m quite good with fire. That’s not
+entirely impossible.”
+
+MARISHA: Ornna, is there anything else that you
+can think of that could possibly help us? Like why
+
+this toad decided to freak out right now? Anything
+that comes to mind before we go chase after your
+
+mess.
+
+TRAVIS: Any previous episodes of this kind?
+
+MATT: “No. Never trusted anything that looked the
+way Kylre did. Everyone seemed to put a lot of
+
+trust in him. Gustav did. Toya did. I don’t know
+if this is still a misunderstanding, but–” She
+
+points over to where there’s splatters of blood in
+the middle of the grass. The leftover carnage from
+
+the battle. “Just get this figured out, please.
+This is all I have left.” She looks around the
+
+empty encampment. She stands amongst the four
+empty tents by herself.
+
+SAM: Toya’s gone, right?
+
+MATT: Toya’s gone.
+
+LAURA: What happened to her? Did it take Toya with
+it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, she frogged out.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll try and find some evidence that will
+exonerate you and we’ll return.
+
+LAURA: We need to find evidence to exonerate us.
+
+SAM: Sorry that we thought that you did it.
+Briefly.
+
+MATT: “It’s okay. It’s hard for some folks to
+trust carnival folk. Just as hard as it is for
+
+some folks to trust little green folk.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: We should really get to stepping.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go.
+
+SAM: Saddle up.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+MATT: You hop on your mustang.
+
+TRAVIS: I do. Shelby.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, god!
+
+TRAVIS: Just deliver it to the PO Box, that’s
+fine.
+
+TALIESIN: Everything that you’ve been holding back
+for years now is going to come pouring out of you.
+
+Okay.
+
+MATT: You have the cart and the horses at your
+disposal. What are you guys doing?
+
+TALIESIN: Trying to take as much of a short rest
+as I can back there. I’m going to try and sleep
+
+this off like a bad hangover.
+
+LIAM: I will attempt to do the same to do arcane
+recovery.
+
+MATT: Okay. The two of you saddle up on the back
+of the cart as it makes its way northward.
+
+SAM: Where are we going?
+
+TRAVIS: In the direction the toad leapt.
+
+LAURA: Are we really chasing the toad right now?
+Molly obviously did the most damage out of anyone
+
+and he’s almost dead right now.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can at least find him, stake him
+out, and then we’ll rest.
+
+LAURA: We are going to rest, right? We can’t just
+chase after a toad. We’ll die.
+
+TRAVIS: We might need to play it by ear.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, I’m trusting you.
+
+TRAVIS: If it’s too dangerous, we’ll stand down.
+How about that?
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Also I have a cat.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s cute.
+
+LIAM: That’s not what I mean. If we catch up to
+them, my cat can follow and I can watch.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you blanked out there for a second.
+
+LIAM: If we find them, then we assign Frumpkin to
+the case and I will lean against a tree. Nott will
+
+keep watch over me and we will know where it
+goes.
+
+SAM: We’re going with them, then?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, let’s follow the direction that the
+toad went.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Cats love toads.
+
+LAURA: I like it. It’s a good plan. This is
+definitely not going to backfire. Let’s go.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. The horses pick up and begin
+heading northward towards the Ustaloch.
+
+LAURA: When we get far away from the carnival, we
+should drop the guard bodies off. Push them out so
+
+it looks like they were on patrol when they turned
+into zombies. Far away from the carnival.
+
+MARISHA: We ran into those guards that were
+patrolling the lake–
+
+LAURA: Exactly! Like a lake patrol.
+
+MATT: It doesn’t take you too long to get to the
+southern edge of the Ustaloch. You can see the
+
+muddy lake bed that gives way to the water itself.
+Number of scattered stones in the muck and
+
+occasionally you hear the lapping of waves. The
+very subtle wind flowing through in the night.
+
+It’s about two in the morning. There’s some
+moonlight in the sky. It looks like a waxing moon.
+
+At least the one you can see because there are
+multiple moons.
+
+SAM: Wait, what?
+
+MATT: There’s two moons in Exandria.
+
+SAM: How did we never know that?
+
+MATT: That was established in the last campaign.
+
+TALIESIN: Like dogs, we never looked up.
+
+MATT: One of the moons is so faint–
+
+SAM: How many suns are there?
+
+MATT: There’s one. Anyway, there’s a faint bit of
+moonlight which gives you folks without darkvision
+
+a little bit of detail that you can make out in
+the vicinity. You come to the lake edge and
+
+there’s the water.
+
+TRAVIS: This is the best we can do for them.
+
+LAURA: Take them out of this wagon!
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, hang on. I want to look around.
+Do I see any guards?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Big dice, don’t fail! Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Okay. Couple things. One: you don’t see any
+guards, but you do see a few hundred feet to the
+
+west of you along the edge, you see a boat that is
+about a hundred feet out on the water. You see two
+
+figures that are in the boat. Possibly two
+fishermen or two guards, but you can’t really tell
+
+from this distance. There are two figures in a boat
+a little ways out on the water.
+
+From your current visual
+perspective, you don’t see the other end of the
+
+lake. It’s a pretty decent sized lake, but you can
+see the very faint bump of a landmass that breaks
+
+the horizon of the water.
+
+MARISHA: Like an island?
+
+MATT: Like an island, possibly.
+
+LAURA: Or a giant toad sitting in the water?
+
+TALIESIN: That would be a very big toad.
+
+MARISHA: It’s far away on the horizon, the little
+bump?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it breaks the water’s horizon from
+here.
+
+MARISHA: There’s two figures on a boat about a
+hundred yards out.
+
+LAURA: Can they see us?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. It’s hard to say. Do they
+seem distracted? Can I make anything else out?
+
+TRAVIS: Lamplight on the boat?
+
+MATT: There’s a faint bit of lantern light that’s
+the only reason you’re able to make them out at
+
+this distance, but that’s as much detail as you
+can make out. They’re a few hundred feet away from
+
+you.
+
+LAURA: If we can’t see them very clearly, they
+can’t see us very clearly. We don’t have a light
+
+on us.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to have to ditch this wagon
+anyway because we’ve got tracks.
+
+SAM: Just change the license plate. No?
+
+TRAVIS: Vanity plate? What does it say?
+
+SAM: “Back in time”?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Oh, man.
+
+So, what do you do?
+
+LAURA: Go up a little further away from the boat
+and then dump the bodies.
+
+SAM: It’s really shallow. Shouldn’t we weigh them
+down with something?
+
+LAURA: It’s not like we’re trying to hide the
+bodies. We’re saying they turned into zombies
+
+around here. Is that stupid?
+
+TRAVIS: No, they don’t have to go in the water,
+right? They’re burned. It’s not like they burned
+
+in the water.
+
+MATT: That would be very confusing.
+
+TRAVIS: It would.
+
+TALIESIN: The wagon tracks directly to the point
+at which they are found.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s what I just said.
+
+LAURA: Oh, coming from the carnival.
+
+TRAVIS: I wish I had something that could
+help Molly out.
+
+SAM: We could write a little note and put it in
+one of their pockets that says something like
+
+“I’ve discovered that Caleb and Nott are innocent
+and should be cleared of all charges”, or
+
+something like that.
+
+LAURA: That would definitely work. Will you add my
+name to that list?
+
+SAM: Sure. How do you spell Jester?
+
+LAURA: Like normal.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can dump them, backtrack with
+the cart, and drop the cart back off.
+
+TRAVIS: As we’ve been riding, have we seen any
+tracks that we think might have belonged to the
+
+toad? Since it was leaping in these huge arcs.
+
+MATT: Make a survival check.
+
+TRAVIS: Ugh, three.
+
+MATT: Even with your darkvision, it’s hard to make
+out too many details. There’s a lot of foot
+
+traffic along the banks of the river at different
+points in the day. There’s not a lot of light.
+
+You’re unable to pick up any tracks.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we dump the bodies and I’ll get out
+and try to make the tracks go away for a little
+
+bit. I’ll walk up the path and do like this.
+
+TRAVIS: Why? We could get rid of the wagon later.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but the wagon will come from the
+carnival straight to the bodies. Isn’t that weird?
+
+LIAM: You’d have to erase the tracks all the way
+back to the– how far back are you willing to go?
+
+LAURA: Not that far.
+
+LIAM: What’s the plan here? Are we going to flee?
+
+LAURA: I think we have to go back to the inn,
+right?
+
+TRAVIS: Once the sun comes up–
+
+LIAM: I know. Everybody’s in deep shit. I
+understand the problem, but my question is are we
+
+cutting and running?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: No, I mean cutting and running.
+
+TRAVIS: No, no, we can’t just leave.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+LIAM: We do it all the time.
+
+LAURA: Well…
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s see if we can find the toad. If the
+sun starts to break, then we’ll make up our mind.
+
+LAURA: All right. Are we dumping these bodies or
+what?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, kick them out.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you remove the bodies from the
+cart. Are you dumping them on the shoreline?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. (thud, thud) The two transformed guard
+corpses now lie there. One an ashy mess, the other
+
+in three pieces. Left along the bank of the
+water.
+
+LAURA: I get out and I start positioning them like
+maybe they were having a romantic tryst.
+
+LIAM: Those two burnt men? Yes.
+
+MATT: Okay. (laughs)
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to help Jester try and clear
+the tracks while she positions bodies.
+
+MATT: Make a survival check.
+
+MARISHA: (disgusted noise) Eight.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys–
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody else want to look for some toad
+prints?
+
+LAURA: Do you want us to?
+
+SAM: We were going to go along the north way,
+right?
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve been doing that already.
+
+MARISHA: If we try and cover the wagon tracks as
+much as we can, then follow the embankment and try
+
+and ride the horses and the cart along the water,
+it’ll hide our tracks as we move northward.
+
+LAURA: Sure, let’s do that.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Who are you?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s actually a great idea.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s really clever. Why would you even
+think that?
+
+LAURA: Oh, she’s all about shady shit. She does a
+lot of it.
+
+TALIESIN: Huh.
+
+MARISHA: You understand.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll think about
+it.
+
+LAURA: (singsong) Go to sleep, little tiefling.
+
+TALIESIN: Ow, that hurts. Ow.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard, are the people on the boat doing
+anything different?
+
+MATT: You glance back over and you can see the
+boat seems to have moved a little bit further away
+
+and has come up to the bank and looks like it’s
+hitting land.
+
+MARISHA: Towards us?
+
+MATT: No, a little bit further away and then has
+hit the land. The figures are currently taking
+
+things out of the boat.
+
+LAURA: They’re late night fishermen.
+
+MARISHA: I think they’re fishermen. Let’s keep
+moving.
+
+MATT: Okay, which direction are you moving?
+
+MARISHA: North.
+
+MATT: Well, north is into the water. Like you hit
+the water of the bottom of the lake.
+
+SAM: The toad went due north? Like straight into
+the water?
+
+MATT: That’s the direction it was traveling.
+
+LAURA: Can I look for toad tracks?
+
+MATT: Make a survival check, sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, don’t roll Sam’s fucking dice.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t.
+
+MATT: Oh, Sam.
+
+TALIESIN: That was a lot.
+
+LAURA: That was a whole lot of rolls. Survival.
+11.
+
+MATT: 11. It’s hard to really make out what tracks
+are what. You do see a few heavy impacts in the
+
+mud. Some of them looks like it could have been
+the bodies being rolled, but not too far from
+
+where you are, there’s one big smack in the mud.
+Like something heavy impacted.
+
+LAURA: Fjord! Come look at this! This is
+definitely toad tracks.
+
+TRAVIS: In the shape that it’s in, this print. Are
+their toes pointing in a specific direction?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, this will break my short rest.
+
+MATT: This will break your short rest.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: You can see the heavy impact has a few
+subtler imprints. There do appear to be two hands
+
+and two feet though the water has washed in and
+gotten rid of a lot of the details at this point.
+
+You can vaguely tell they appear to be facing
+towards the water.
+
+LAURA: That lump is the toad.
+
+SAM: Could be.
+
+TALIESIN: How many people in the boat?
+
+TRAVIS: Two.
+
+TALIESIN: How many people are we looking for?
+
+TRAVIS: One and a giant toad.
+
+TALIESIN: Didn’t he leave with a–
+
+TRAVIS: Girl.
+
+TALIESIN: Two people?
+
+MATT: Two people in the boat.
+
+MARISHA: Do these silhouettes look proportionate
+to each other?
+
+MATT: They look proportionate to each other.
+
+TRAVIS: Does one look like Gorilla Grodd and—
+
+MATT: They both look vaguely humanoid and
+regular.
+
+MARISHA: Which way did the fisherman go?
+
+MATT: They are a little bit to the west along the
+bank in the direction of the city. The city is
+
+northwest of you currently. If you were to
+continue around the lake–
+
+LIAM: Because the city is on the lake so we’re
+just around the edge of the lake.
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+MARISHA: I think we should keep heading away from
+the city, right?
+
+LIAM: It depends on what we’re going to do.
+
+SAM: If we’re chasing the toad it seems like we
+need to find a boat and go out into the water.
+
+LAURA: So we head towards that boat that hit
+land.
+
+SAM: Steal that boat?
+
+LAURA: If we go towards the toad we are going to
+fight the toad.
+
+SAM: Well no, we are just going to find the toad.
+You said this. We’re camping and waiting and
+
+resting.
+
+LIAM: The other thing we can do, but it will take
+some time, need about an hour. Frumpkin is a cat
+
+but Frumpkin does not need to be a cat. I could
+fly him over as well but I need time, I need about
+
+an hour.
+
+SAM: Or swim.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m actively tracking this creature,
+aren’t I on a certain level?
+
+MATT: I mean, if you want to. You haven’t yet
+decided to.
+
+TALIESIN: I hadn’t really thought about it. It’s
+something I can in theory do.
+
+LAURA: Because you used your blood on it?
+
+TALIESIN: No. This would also break my short rest,
+wouldn’t it?
+
+MATT: Actually, I’d say for the points of
+expediency, with the time it has taken you and
+
+have these discussion at the edge, it’s pushing
+2:30 like 3:00 in the morning and both of you have
+
+finished the short rest.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Hunter’s Bane really
+quickly and look at the track for a second.
+
+MATT: You get your blood maledict and you can use
+your hit dice if you want.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m going to do both of those.
+
+LIAM: I changed my mind, I believe I used arcane
+recovery during the day. So forget it.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s gone.
+
+SAM: You can hit dice it.
+
+LAURA: I bet you have a thing where you can click
+it on.
+
+TALIESIN: Now I’m at 12 hit points.
+
+MATT: That’s better, there you go.
+
+TRAVIS: 12?
+
+MATT: Better than one.
+
+TALIESIN: Yay 12 hit points. I’m going to see if I
+can help with the tracking because I’m going to
+
+start actively tracking this particular creature.
+
+MATT: Make a survival check.
+
+TALIESIN: Survival check? Which I have advantage
+on.
+
+MATT: You have advantage on it because it’s a
+feat.
+
+LIAM: If I have an hour to do some
+ritual casting, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+MATT: Looking at the imprint you follow back the
+direction of the carnival and you can see the path
+
+because it was a beeline toward the Ustaloch. The
+best you can tell because the water picks up
+
+there’s no trail to pick up in the water. Looking
+at the trajectory, it was very intently making its
+
+way towards the water either avoiding making any
+more tracks and making it difficult to follow.
+
+TALIESIN: Guy went into the water.
+
+LAURA: That’s what we figured.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you think he’s trying to swim all the
+way to the other side or you think he’s just going
+
+around the lake?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re not lucky enough to have any small
+boats along the shores that have been beached?
+
+MATT: Not near you. There’s the one that you saw
+the two fishermen are at right now. Then further
+
+into the city the docks, there’s plenty of boats
+that are tied up and locked.
+
+LIAM: At the level two– Oh sorry, go ahead.
+
+MARISHA: Go ahead.
+
+LIAM: It’s a rules question, you go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Even if we find this thing, if we rest
+camping out then we’re not at the tavern.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we got like four hours until
+sunrise.
+
+SAM: Do any of us know what’s beyond? Like what’s
+on the other side of this lake? Is it a mountain?
+
+LAURA: Straight across.
+
+MATT: The other side of the lake, from what you
+know, because you were traveling southward towards
+
+it, there’s no major landmass on the other side of
+the lake. It’s just open field. You notice what
+
+looks to be some sort of a bulge in the landmass
+in the center. Too large to be the toad, but it
+
+does seem to break up the water horizon from that
+vantage point.
+
+LAURA: It could have gone to the island.
+
+MARISHA: I bet that’s exactly where it is.
+
+TRAVIS: How do we feel about the knowledge that
+it’s somewhere here in the lake, perhaps, or the
+
+other side? Circling back tomorrow? At least we’ll
+avoid suspicion if we’re at the inn.
+
+LAURA: Will you be able to keep tracking it? After you sleep?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. I’m not sure. Maybe. Could
+be.
+
+MATT: It’s not like a mental tracking ability.
+It’s to be able to see details of the specific
+
+type of tracks.
+
+TALIESIN: I legitimately do not know how it works.
+Sorry.
+
+MATT: Just like any other tracking, you still need
+to have things to follow. You can read damage in
+
+the forest to see if something barreled through.
+You can follow tracks. You can see blood
+
+splatters. Any sort of thing that can give you an idea of
+where something went that is of those types of creatures.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I know what he was, by the way?
+
+LAURA: He was a fiend.
+
+MATT: With the knowledge of it being a fiend, go
+ahead and make a religion check.
+
+TALIESIN: And I get advantage on that.
+
+MATT: You do, actually.
+
+TALIESIN: Religion check? 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Now that they’ve mentioned a fiend, it seems
+familiar, but the most you can get is
+
+a memory that you don’t know where it
+came from, this memory of horrible toad-like
+
+demonic creatures that exist to the far east in Xhorhas.
+
+That’s as much as you can recall. But you’re
+definitely sitting here now with this memory
+
+that comes to mind, going, “This whole time! This
+whole time–”
+
+TALIESIN: This whole time I’ve been sitting with
+this.
+
+LIAM: Rules question. Caleb is too fucking poor to
+change Frumpkin’s shape willy-nilly because it’s
+
+ten gold pieces worth of charcoal, incense, and
+herbs, which I don’t have. So he’s a cat for the
+
+foreseeable future.
+
+SAM: Do you just need ten gold pieces?
+
+LIAM: I need incense, herbs, and charcoal.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you saying this out loud?
+
+LIAM: No, I’m just talking in my accent to you.
+
+TALIESIN: Listening to this, I reach in.
+I’ve got some incense.
+
+LIAM: Do you have charcoal?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure we can find some charcoal.
+
+TALIESIN: Isn’t this impressive enough that I
+happen to have some incense?
+
+LIAM: If we can get back into town somehow.
+
+SAM: We’re going to go shopping at three in the
+morning?
+
+MATT: Technically, elements of that guard’s body
+are charcoal now.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I was going to say.
+Let’s go back and raid the fire.
+
+TALIESIN: There’d also be a fire inside the inn,
+to be fair. Charcoal is– it’s not like it’s hard to get.
+
+TRAVIS: And you two seem to be able to move freely,
+without suspicion.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s true, you can go shopping more.
+
+LIAM: I will.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go maintain the illusion of
+innocence for the evening.
+
+MARISHA: Should we walk the cart off?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: And leave it outside town as we’re
+making our way back.
+
+Maybe give the horse a little spank
+on the ass and send it on its way.
+
+MARISHA: See where it goes. I like that.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we?
+
+LAURA: It’s open 24 hours.
+
+LIAM: That random book about fiends has all the
+answers about the fiend we’re chasing. Let’s go
+
+get it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. You should do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Xhorhas. It’s a creature from Xhorhas.
+I’m pretty sure, I don’t know. We’ll see.
+
+God, I’m remembering something.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: We head back.
+
+MARISHA: We go along the lake, then off to the edge,
+and then we’re going to give the horse a slap and send
+
+him off past–
+
+MATT: Okay, so the cart makes its way.
+The two fishermen you see are in the process
+
+of tying up nets and bags of things, and they just
+stop and watch you guys ride by, then go about the
+
+rest of their work. You continue with the cart,
+pulling it up toward the southern edge of where the
+
+Ustaloch meets Trostenwald, and you can abandon it
+there, or you said you wanted to send it somewhere?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think we would have taken the cart
+past the fishermen. Are we going to do that?
+
+TRAVIS: I thought we were going to head back
+to the village, to a good distance.
+
+LIAM: How much ground did we cover, I don’t know?
+
+MATT: So what are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re taking the cart back to a distance
+from the city.
+
+LIAM: Half a mile.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, and then letting the horses run,
+so the– sending the track off.
+
+MATT: I see. Okay.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think we would have gone right past
+the fishermen that would be able to identify us.
+
+MARISHA: Using the lake to hide tracks.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you guys head the opposite direction for a
+little ways after the field. All right. Who’s spooking the horses?
+
+LIAM: That’s your specialty.
+
+MARISHA: Whack with the stick.
+
+MATT: Make an animal handling check.
+
+TRAVIS: Please roll bad. If there is any
+justice in the world…
+
+MARISHA: It’s not great. Thanks, Travis. Thanks. Six.
+
+SAM: Six? To hit a horse?
+
+MARISHA: Correctly hit a horse!
+
+LAURA: The horse whimpers; you hurt a horse.
+
+MATT: What’s your armor class?
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+MATT: 17? As soon as you hit it, there’s a
+(whinny) and there’s a split-second where you watch
+
+its back leg muscle twitch, and you duck out of the
+way just as its back hooves (whoosh) past your face.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk over to the horses and–
+they’re trained horses.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go whisper in their ear and
+give them a little pat.
+
+MATT: Make an animal handling check.
+
+LAURA: You rolled shit, too!
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+TRAVIS: Horses are our new door!
+
+LIAM: Drops a couple of horse apples.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t get advantage on that because I knew
+the animals, did I?
+
+MATT: No. You knew the animals, but you weren’t
+the animal handler.
+
+LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy and I make the sound of
+like a predator behind them.
+
+MATT: Okay. I’ll give you an animal handling check
+with advantage, because it’s fun.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m into this.
+
+LAURA: Okay, 13!
+
+MATT: 13! It’s above a ten, guys! Awesome!
+
+ALL: (chanting) Level two!
+
+TALIESIN: This is Romper Room!
+
+MATT: Yeah, I know! With a crack, and a heavy
+echoing snarling sound in the vicinity, both
+
+horses kick up and go into a full gallop sprint
+away from the direction of you, the cart being
+
+dragged behind it. They continue to go into the
+shadow. You don’t know how long they’re going to go.
+
+LIAM: I cast Thaumaturgy! (quacks)
+
+MATT: By the time you guys make it back to the
+inn–
+
+LAURA: Those ducks are scary!
+
+MATT: Are you guys being careful, or are you just
+walking back?
+
+LAURA: We’re being careful.
+
+MATT: I’d like you all to roll a stealth check,
+please.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to use Mask of Many Faces to
+make myself look old.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+SAM: What was that? I don’t even know what that
+was.
+
+TALIESIN: Look at all that stuff!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to– Does anybody have shitty stealth?
+
+TALIESIN: I can’t even see myself with this
+roll.
+
+LIAM: I do, but I rolled 12.
+
+LAURA: Well okay, I was going to give anybody
+advantage, but here you go.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: Wow, that was bad.
+
+LIAM: You have advantage, right? Roll again!
+
+SAM: I already rolled once.
+
+TRAVIS: 18, but I’m also–
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+LAURA: 18.
+
+TALIESIN: Technically, my stealth would be 23.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: All right, that’s fine. You manage to make
+it to the Nestled Nook Inn without any prying eyes
+
+seeing too deeply into your movement. You get back
+to your rooms as the very faint distant change of
+
+black night begins to turn to the faintest of blue
+of morning curling over. You guys go to your
+
+respective rooms, and you take a rest?
+
+LAURA: We should go to sleep.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to dig some charcoal out of the
+remains of the fire in the common room and then go
+
+to bed.
+
+MATT: Okay. The owner watches you do that and
+she’s just, “Whatever.”
+
+LIAM: Don’t thank me. Lovely inn. Good night.
+
+MATT: “Don’t get anything else dirty!”
+
+LIAM: Just going to draw some dicks!
+
+MATT: You guys complete a long rest.
+
+TRAVIS: We made it!
+
+SAM: One day down. Two days down!
+
+LAURA: Do we reset our max hit points when we take
+a long rest?
+
+MATT: Your max hit points? I mean, your max hit
+points are your max hit points.
+
+TALIESIN: When you hit ‘long rest’, it should
+auto-reset.
+
+SAM: With D&D Beyond, it does the work for you.
+
+LIAM: Wait, is there a rest button?
+
+SAM: There is, there are two rest buttons, Liam.
+
+LIAM: Where are they?
+
+SAM: They’re down towards the bottom, short rest
+or long rest.
+
+LIAM: Whoa!
+
+LAURA: I fell asleep in my sketchbook, halfway
+through my drawing of the two zombie guards making out.
+
+SAM: Gross. Were they dead?
+
+LAURA: They’re zombies, so yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: Slightly hotter, okay.
+
+LAURA: One arm is like off to the side.
+
+TALIESIN: Way hotter.
+
+MATT: With full rests completed, consciousness
+comes to on the outside of Jester’s room with the
+
+heavy sound of (knocking).
+
+MARISHA: Jester!
+
+LAURA: Is that our door?
+
+MARISHA: I think so.
+
+LAURA: Hold on, I’m naked!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, hold on, she’s naked! Do you want
+to get it? Or should I get it?
+
+LAURA: I’ll get it!
+
+MARISHA: Maybe I should get it.
+
+LAURA: No, I get up, I get it. Hello!
+
+MATT: You open the door. The same two crownsguard
+that had come the day before.
+
+LAURA: Did you come back to play some games?
+
+MATT: “No. We came to tell you that you’ll be
+needed for the investigation and questioning
+
+"within the next three hours to arrive at the
+behest of the Lawmaster at the stockade.”
+
+MARISHA: Why didn’t you just come and get us when
+you were ready for us?
+
+LAURA: Well, you know, we might want to brush our
+teeth.
+
+MARISHA: Does that take you three hours?
+
+LAURA: No. Now we have time to–
+
+MATT: “We’ll be back in three hours.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll see you soon! I miss you
+already!
+
+MATT: (door creaking) Habit of creeping out guards,
+I like this. The rest of you come to consciousness.
+
+You’re rested. At this point in time, it’s
+past noon. It’s about two in the afternoon.
+
+TRAVIS: No knock on our door, only you two.
+
+MATT: Well, no. It’s these two currently,
+for the moment. Then– (knocking).
+
+TRAVIS: Your jury summons is (groans).
+
+MATT: Just finishing up with them.
+
+LAURA: It’s two o'clock in the afternoon, you
+said? When we woke up?!
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: We got back in the middle of the night. No
+real job here.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll open the door.
+
+MATT: Two guards are there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes?
+
+MATT: “Sorry to disturb, the investigation will
+require you in about three hours.”
+
+TRAVIS: I just shut the door.
+
+MARISHA: Love it! It’s my favorite. I was waiting
+for it.
+
+MATT: All right, so. What are you guys doing?
+
+SAM: Go down for breakfast?
+
+LIAM: I go down. It’s Yorda who runs the place?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: I find Yorda. Excuse me, a question about
+the town.
+
+MATT: She’s right in the middle of pouring a drink,
+she’s like, “Right! What do you need?”
+
+LIAM: Is there a pawn shop anywhere in this city?
+
+MATT: “If you’re looking for strange wares in
+general, then your best look would be Burnished Bibelots.”
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “You might be able to talk to, let’s see
+here– Lochward General might be interested in
+
+"buying a few things.”
+
+LIAM: Wockwurt?
+
+MATT: Lochward General.
+
+LIAM: Lochward’s General, of course. Excuse me.
+That’s in the Lochward, then?
+
+MATT: Aye, it’s about three blocks up north.
+
+LIAM: Only been here two days. Okay, you are down
+here?
+
+SAM: I’m always with you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. That flask.
+
+SAM: Yes? You saw that?
+
+LIAM: Yes, I did see it.
+
+SAM: Sorry!
+
+LIAM: No, I’m not sorry at all, but I have a big
+favor to ask you. That’s very valuable what you
+
+have there. Do you know that is made of platinum?
+
+SAM: Would I know that it’s made of platinum, just
+from glancing at it and feeling it?
+
+MATT: It looks very pretty. Make an intelligence
+check.
+
+SAM: Not great. Just an intelligence check?
+
+MATT: Yes, just your modifier.
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: It’s very shiny.
+
+LIAM: Let me explain it to you. That little bottle
+is worth a great deal. It can buy you many full bottles.
+
+SAM: I don’t want to get rid of it.
+
+LIAM: Would you like to trade that for many bottles
+of booze? Many.
+
+SAM: That is a tough decision. But this is the
+only one I have! I only have one flask.
+
+LIAM: We could buy you another flask that can hold
+whiskey just as well as that one. Here’s the
+
+thing, you know that I was very interested in
+those books. We came here for books and booze.
+
+You’ve gotten a little booze, but we can get a lot
+and those books are expensive and I know that we
+
+can get enough money for it and I really don’t
+feel like pushing our luck with the law here in
+
+town and pulling a fast one again.
+
+SAM: Oh, but it’s so pretty. How about this for a
+counteroffer: how much are the books?
+
+LIAM: They were worth a total of 13 gold.
+
+SAM: Here!
+
+LIAM: Did she just hand me 13 gold?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: I like this better.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I take her by the head and I rustle our
+heads together.
+
+SAM: Stop!
+
+LIAM: That’s a good deal. I leave to find that
+place.
+
+SAM: I come with him.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you’re coming too? What a good day this
+is! All right, let’s go shopping!
+
+MATT: All right, you guys make your way to Burnished
+Bibelots. It is open, though there is nobody
+
+currently inside the interior. As you go to the
+door, it opens up and you see the same cluttered
+
+mess of the inside. There across the way you see
+the tiny gnome gentleman who’s up on top of his
+
+desk, his legs folded over each other. He’s
+looking through a book right now, as he’s thumbing
+
+through, “Hello!”
+
+LIAM: Hello there, my friend! Just as I said, I’ve
+returned. I have what we agreed on. 13 gold for
+
+these two books that we discussed.
+
+MATT: “Yes! Okay. Good! I have them held right here!”
+He reaches back and then has to arrange himself again.
+
+TRAVIS: And dies.
+
+LIAM: Free books!
+
+MARISHA: The best day ever!
+
+MATT: Eventually he crawls off the top of the
+desk, gets down there, puts the two books on the
+
+top. “Wonderful doing business with you!” Slides
+them forward to you, counts–
+
+LIAM: These are the same two books? As yesterday?
+
+MATT: “Those are the ones you told me to hold for
+you, yes.”
+
+LIAM: Oh, I was asking Matthew, these are the same
+two books?
+
+MATT: Yes they are.
+
+LIAM: Oh good! Excellent!
+
+SAM: Your accent is confusing.
+
+LAURA: I know, it’s confusing when you speak
+with the accent all the time!
+
+LIAM: I never stopped with the British either last
+time, so I’m never going to stop. Oh, I’m so
+
+happy, and I’m saying this out loud as Caleb. Good
+day to you!
+
+SAM: Sure you don’t want to–
+
+LIAM: I scoop up Nott and I just start dancing
+down the street with her up onto my shoulders!
+
+SAM: Sure you don’t want stay here and shop around
+some more? Okay!
+
+LIAM: No! We have plans to make with our new
+friends! Let’s go get some breakfast!
+
+SAM: Okay, but I could’ve perused some of the
+aisles and it’s a long– okay!
+
+LIAM: Nope! We’re away!
+
+TRAVIS: No hands in your pockets order.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way back as the rest of
+you have come to consciousness and you head
+
+down to the tavern.
+
+LAURA: Cool. Why are you guys so happy?
+
+LIAM: Good shopping run. Where did you get 13
+gold?
+
+SAM: I’ve always had it, you never asked for any.
+
+LIAM: Good to know. I don’t need to know anything
+more, I’m just happy that you have it. I’m
+
+thankful.
+
+SAM: I collect things. Among them are pieces
+of gold. I have more.
+
+LIAM: I just squeeze the cheeks, and I look at my
+books!
+
+SAM: Ooh! You made my cheeks all green!
+
+MATT: So it’ll take you a few hours to go through
+those books.
+
+LIAM: Yes. I will start on the one about fiends
+because it is topical!
+
+MATT: You begin to read through it. In the tavern
+at the table, or do you want to read in your room?
+
+Up to you.
+
+LIAM: No I’m going to read here. Good focus!
+
+LAURA: Can I look at one of your books?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, go away.
+
+LAURA: Is that a yes? You said yes.
+
+LIAM: I shove the book deep into my belt near my
+dick so she doesn’t want to go near it!
+
+LAURA: I’m not afraid of dicks.
+
+MARISHA: She’s not your sister anymore.
+
+LIAM: Good point. Hey now.
+
+SAM: He gets like this when he’s studying. He gets
+very focused, it’s best not to disturb him.
+
+MATT: It’s an interesting book. It talks about
+different forms of fiends and demons and the
+
+hierarchy of the Nine Hells. It talks about myths
+and stories of devils and demons interfering with
+
+the lives of mortals. A lot of it is fables, a lot
+of it is warnings and things that parents would
+
+tell to keep their children from wandering in the
+darkness. But it does have little tidbits of
+
+information about different types, and they talk
+about horned devils, and they talk about the great
+
+and terrible balor and pit fiend, and it seems to
+be a jumble between both demons and devils.
+
+LAURA: Can I look over his shoulder the whole time
+he’s reading it?
+
+MATT: Sure, if he lets you.
+
+LIAM: I do not let her. I am in a corner.
+
+TRAVIS: And it’s about 2:30 to 3:00?
+
+MATT: Right now, it’s about three.
+
+TRAVIS: In the next couple hours they said they
+would call for us.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Should we go look for the toad?
+
+TRAVIS: I was going to say, did they come to your
+room as well?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. In a couple hours.
+
+MARISHA: Should we talk about what we’re going to
+say to them? Do we need to corroborate our stories?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, we tell the truth, we did nothing
+wrong.
+
+LAURA: That’s right, we were in this inn the whole
+time.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true. Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I was thinking that if we get out of there
+tonight, fingers crossed, we should probably think
+
+about acquiring some sort of vessel to explore the
+lake tonight.
+
+LAURA: We can definitely steal a boat.
+
+MARISHA: We know where a good fisherman’s boat is.
+
+TRAVIS: Or I may be able to arrange free passage
+on a vessel.
+
+MARISHA: What, how?
+
+TRAVIS: I have a little knack with, you know.
+
+LAURA: He was a sailor! That’s how I met him!
+
+TRAVIS: Well, for a bit.
+
+MARISHA: Wow, that’s pretty cool.
+
+LIAM: How long was that for?
+
+TRAVIS: Few years.
+
+LAURA: As soon as Caleb looks up, I look in his
+book. What is your book about?
+
+LIAM: Oh, this is about grumpkins and
+periwinkles.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Those are my favorite!
+
+LIAM: What is a periwinkle?
+
+LAURA: Are there drawings of them?
+
+LIAM: Occasional drawings. There’s no penises
+drawn in this book so I don’t think you’d be
+
+interested.
+
+TALIESIN: Any toad creatures?
+
+MATT: You do find one interesting tidbit of
+information that piques your interest.
+
+SAM: Ooh, he has it written down? On a thing?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, the first piece of paper of the
+game!
+
+MARISHA: What’s it say?
+
+MATT: If he decides he wants to share, it’s up to
+him.
+
+LIAM: Leave me alone, I’m reading.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, we’re bored! Tell us a story!
+
+LIAM: I need 20 actual seconds to see what the
+piece of paper says!
+
+TALIESIN: Have you read it now? What’s it say?
+
+SAM: So Fjord, you’re very acquainted with seamen
+then? Having been on the water for so long?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure am! Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Have you heard that joke a lot?
+
+TRAVIS: I have. It gets funnier every time, though,
+I got to say. It’s all in the delivery.
+
+LAURA: He laughed at it the first 20 times I
+said it to him.
+
+MARISHA: So wait, do you seamen have cloisters in
+Trostenwald?
+
+SAM: Are there clusters of seamen around you at
+all times?
+
+TRAVIS: Is it too early in the campaign to walk
+away? And I fucking saunter away.
+
+SAM: And I saunter away. I mosy away.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As Fjord slowly walks away from the table,
+not engaging with your comedic advances.
+
+LIAM: Do I remember people talking about
+nightmares from the past couple of days? Not Liam,
+
+but Caleb?
+
+MATT: No, you didn’t inquire or question.
+
+LIAM: Okay, and I didn’t overhear, okay.
+
+LAURA: What does it say?
+
+LIAM: I mean, it’s chock-a-block with a lot of
+things, most of it probably untrue and stories to
+
+scare your children, but there is some sort of
+demon that is described as being fat and rotund,
+
+and it talks about– I mean, this is too
+coincidental, it can’t be the thing that we’re–
+
+what are the odds of something being in this book,
+and it’s what we’re chasing today? But this is
+
+describing some sort of scaled demon that feeds on
+people in the night, when they’re sleeping, and it
+
+leaves corrupted, undead corpses behind, known as
+husks.
+
+LAURA: That is what they look like. They look like
+husks!
+
+MARISHA: They did look like husks.
+
+TRAVIS: And we didn’t see anybody it fed on.
+
+LIAM: Does this book– is it of this town, or?
+
+MATT: Oh no, it’s a general book about–
+
+LIAM: General book, could be anywhere.
+
+MATT: Anywhere, anything, it doesn’t even mention
+locations. It’s just, “This is some lore about
+
+"devils and demons!”
+
+TALIESIN: Kylre’s been around for a while, though!
+And this is new, right? I feel like– Was there nothing?
+
+TRAVIS: How well did you know Kylre?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, not that well. Of everybody, the
+least.
+
+LIAM: You haven’t heard the word nergaliid?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a–
+
+MATT: As soon as he says that, it triggers
+something in your brain, and that thought you had
+
+the other night clicks. Like, that’s what it was
+that was escaping you. Nergaliid.
+
+TALIESIN: I have heard that word before.
+
+LIAM: Because that’s what I’m talking about here.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh dear. Oh, why can’t I remember? It
+was so long ago.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, so what was Mr. Frogman’s diet?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, what did he feast on?
+
+TALIESIN: What did he eat?
+
+MATT: He ate what was given to him.
+
+TALIESIN: He ate what we had!
+
+MATT: He seemed like a lizard man, from what you
+knew and experienced. He thought it was fine.
+
+There was no draw to it.
+
+LAURA: You never noticed him eating people before?
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like I would’ve taken note of it.
+I don’t necessarily know I would’ve commented on
+
+it, but I would’ve noted it.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: And it was not noted.
+
+LIAM: Once again, I have no idea if this is the
+creature that we’re in pursuit of, but this talks
+
+about it not eating food, but siphoning the life
+off of mortal creatures, but not to the point of
+
+death or harming them. They might not even notice
+that it’s happening.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) That’s what was happening to Toya.
+Maybe all of you.
+
+LIAM: It says that this thing has two types of
+feeding: one is slow and unnoticeable, maybe, and
+
+one is quick with much pain and anguish.
+
+LAURA: Does it say anything about it hiding in
+water?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+LAURA: Does it say anything about it liking the
+sound of song?
+
+LIAM: It does not.
+
+LAURA: Is it related at all to the periwinkles you
+were talking about before?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not possible he’s trying to head
+back to Xhorhas, is it? I said out loud.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we saw both the fast and the
+slow feeding methods.
+
+TALIESIN: Kylre was not a talker.
+
+LAURA: Does it say how to kill it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, weaknesses? Vulnerabilities?
+
+TALIESIN: Stabbing?
+
+LAURA: Well, most fiends are weak to holy damage,
+right?
+
+MATT: Make a religion check.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I also do this? I’m thinking about
+everything I hear.
+
+MATT: Sure, I’ll let you roll for it.
+
+SAM: They have a vulnerability to poppyseed
+muffins.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+MATT: You don’t get the idea that most devils or
+demons have a vulnerability to radiant or holy
+
+damage. Some might, some don’t, but you’re
+unable to take a bead on this. The book you have
+
+is informative from an encyclopedia standpoint.
+It’s sort of storytelling and an informative
+
+thing, but it’s not a catalog about all the
+aspects and details of each creature.
+
+LIAM: Right, it’s a kid’s Encyclopedia Britannica,
+and scanning through, I saw one thing that popped out.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you were like, wait.
+
+LIAM: May I ask with my intelligence score of 18
+and the Keen Mind feat, could we say that Caleb is
+
+a speed reader?
+
+MATT: In comparison to some, maybe. You’re not
+Johnny Five-style, I know kung-fu.
+
+LIAM: Believably, not magic.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can read pretty quick, let’s say.
+You spend a lot of time by yourself reading.
+
+LAURA: “Reading.”
+
+LIAM: Good times.
+
+TRAVIS: In the bathroom.
+
+TALIESIN: Clusters of semen all around you.
+
+LIAM: It was still funny when it was just implied.
+You can paint it across the wall.
+
+TALIESIN: Always funny. Always.
+
+LIAM: We’re talking about masturbation.
+
+SAM: Jerking off.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Would you say that Caleb is a speed-beater?
+
+SAM: Roll for spanking.
+
+MATT: From the window to the wall.
+
+(laughter and groaning)
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this discussion, the
+two guards that had come in earlier come through
+
+the main door earlier than the three hours you had
+anticipated with another guard in tow. As they
+
+rush in they glance around the room and see you
+and make a beeline to your table in a very huffed
+
+bit of energy. They say, “You are absolved of
+meeting this afternoon. We’ll pick this up
+
+"tomorrow.”
+
+LAURA: What’s going on?
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, what?
+
+MATT: “There have been a series of murders within
+the Crownsguard that we are investigating as well.
+
+"This will be part of the investigation tomorrow,
+you are not to leave this inn.”
+
+LAURA: But we could help. Obviously, we had nothing to
+do with it if people are hurt outside and we were
+
+here the whole time.
+
+MARISHA: How are we absolved yet we still have to
+be locked in this inn?
+
+MATT: “You are absolved of it today. We’re still
+going to come by tomorrow and have you questioned.
+
+"We’ve arrested Ornna and we have members of the
+carnival that have fled that we’re currently
+
+"seeking at the moment.”
+
+MARISHA: You should pick better words next time
+that are slightly more clear.
+
+MATT: “We’ll return tomorrow.” They leave in a
+frustrated huff.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, our day just got freed up.
+
+SAM: But they still said we couldn’t leave.
+
+TALIESIN: You could read that other book, at the
+very least.
+
+LIAM: I could. I could also– here’s the thing
+about my cat. He’s a cat, definitely a cat, but is
+
+also a fey creature. If I have an hour, he doesn’t
+have to be a cat. He can temporarily be a bird.
+
+LAURA: How much did you say it costs, though?
+
+LIAM: Well, I have a lot of charcoal now, and you
+said you have incense on you?
+
+TALIESIN: I go into my bag and I’ve got some old,
+weird– I’ve got a weird little–
+
+MATT: You’ve got about eight silvers worth of
+incense, and that’s a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s in a very strange, ornate bag
+that’s covered in strange gems and weird filigree.
+
+SAM: Does Molly always smell of patchouli?
+
+TALIESIN: Sandalwood. It’s nag champa all over.
+
+MATT: It’s masking the faint scent of horse dung.
+
+SAM: What else do you need?
+
+LIAM: Let it all out. Go for it. Don’t hold back.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you sure you want to do this, with
+your cat?
+
+LIAM: Yes. I prefer him as a cat, to be honest,
+but in a pinch.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything else besides a bird? I mean, any
+kind of creature?
+
+LIAM: Well, not any kind of creature, but I’ve made
+him an octopus once. There was this one time when
+
+Nott was very high up in a burning building and we
+had no way to get her down.
+
+SAM: I jumped on to the octopus and it served as
+some sort of a landing pad. It killed the octopus,
+
+but I lived.
+
+LAURA: Octopuses are very smart.
+
+LIAM: I think it’s octopi.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t say I was very smart.
+
+TALIESIN: Enough about the pastries already.
+
+TRAVIS: It can be killed is an important thing to
+know. I only mean, if it’s important to you,
+
+in a moment of danger I would try to save it, but
+if that’s not important.
+
+LIAM: It can be pricey to keep bringing him back
+and all that, but he– no, you can’t kill him.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. That’s very impressive.
+
+SAM: I’ve tried.
+
+LIAM: She’s eaten him twice.
+
+SAM: I was very hungry.
+
+LIAM: I will need about an hour of time; I’ll probably
+head upstairs. Do you have a pot I could borrow?
+
+MATT: Yorda is currently in the process of sitting
+down and checking something underneath the bar and
+
+goes, “I’m sorry, what was that?”
+
+LIAM: I was hoping you had an iron pot I could
+borrow for– never mind, I’ll use the piss pot.
+
+I’ll borrow this.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, of course.
+
+LIAM: Is this enough to jury-rig?
+
+MATT: How much is the–
+
+LIAM: It’s ten gold.
+
+MATT: No, you’re going to need to go out and buy
+some.
+
+LIAM: That’s why I asked.
+
+SAM: Buy some, what, incense?
+
+LIAM: Okay, this is a joke. I need to actually go
+to the incense store.
+
+LAURA: Get ten gold worth of incense?
+
+LIAM: Charcoal and incense, yeah.
+For this plan to work.
+
+MATT: There is the remedy store that you’ve seen
+before, and that would be the place to have
+
+incense and/or herbal type.
+
+SAM: I’ve been to one of these places, it’s called
+Natural Remedies. Herbs and medicinal things. It’s
+
+up the street a bit.
+
+LIAM: Do you have ten gold?
+
+SAM: Maybe.
+
+TRAVIS: I have ten gold.
+
+LAURA: You’re going through gold very quickly.
+
+SAM: Or I could sneak in and grab it for you.
+
+LAURA: I could help you.
+
+SAM: That sounds fun.
+
+LIAM: We’re still in trouble with the law. I don’t
+want to push that. If we have the gold, that’s the
+
+safest path.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m in for a penny. I’m going to throw
+a gold in there as well.
+
+MATT: All right, so you have ten gold between you:
+nine from Fjord, and one from Molly.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll put one in, then you have only
+eight.
+
+MATT: Okay, so eight off. All right, you have the
+gold. We’ll say for the purposes of expediency,
+
+it’s easy enough to go and purchase the necessary
+incense and it’s quite a bit. For the purposes of
+
+this ritual, which you’ve done before, it’s quite
+a cluster you have to assemble for this. The
+
+chalk’s amassed, the other materials you need for
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: I just saw Jester open her purse.
+Dear–!
+
+LIAM: Brain wipe. I’m going to go up to my room and it takes
+me an hour to do this. An hour and ten minutes to
+
+be exact. I put the–
+
+TALIESIN: The ten minutes is clean-up.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Look at the dungeon master. Is that maybe
+the longest facepalm?
+
+MATT: I don’t know, you guys have made me facepalm
+pretty long before.
+
+LIAM: I go upstairs to cast “Find Familiar”.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, you found him!
+
+MATT: What form?
+
+LIAM: A sparrow.
+
+MATT: As you finish the concentration, the cat
+form shimmers and condenses into this tiny little
+
+cluster of coal before it sprouts wings and you
+glance on your shoulder. (whistles)
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, I know this is not your preferred
+form, but it is only temporary until I get ten
+
+more gold. Let’s go down and get some breakfast.
+
+MATT: You guys, after waiting patiently and
+talking amongst yourselves, Caleb reemerges with a
+
+tiny sparrow.
+
+LIAM: There he is. He lands on Molly’s horn.
+
+LAURA: Damn it. Right here?
+
+LIAM: On his horn, yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Go ahead.
+
+LAURA: This is the lumpiest little bird I’ve ever
+seen.
+
+MARISHA: Is his name still Frumpkin, it’s just a
+bird now?
+
+LIAM: Always Frumpkin, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s a little feathery Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: He flits over to Jester’s horn. Takes a
+dump.
+
+LAURA: I feel so special and blessed, you guys.
+
+TALIESIN: You look like a princess.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+LIAM: He stays there for the time being. Is this
+what we’re doing? I can’t go anywhere, I’m going
+
+to be blind and deaf, I have to stay still and
+safe. Try not hit me in the head with too many
+
+things. It’ll take a while, but he will go off.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, if you’d like, you could stay at the
+inn, or we could acquire that boat and once you’re
+
+on board we could send it out as a sort of a
+recon.
+
+LIAM: That’s true as well.
+
+SAM: Do sparrows see in the dark? They’re daytime
+birds.
+
+TRAVIS: It is daytime right now, it would require
+us leaving now.
+
+SAM: We should do this quickly before the light
+goes away, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, if we can send the sparrow out, we
+can carry him with us if he finds anything.
+
+LIAM: I could have done a bat, but it’s too late
+for that now.
+
+TRAVIS: A what?
+
+LIAM: A bat.
+
+TRAVIS: We should take advantage of the daytime.
+Out the windows as we did before?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s let the sparrow see if it can find
+anything. Then we know which direction we have to
+
+head into so there’s not too much meandering
+about.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, can we hunker down here while–
+
+TALIESIN: Until there’s a direction to go.
+
+TRAVIS: Perhaps we should go upstairs–
+
+MATT: You can only see through Frumpkin’s eyes for
+up to a 100-foot radius.
+
+LIAM: I thought we talked about this. You told
+me– and if you need to change it, change it– But
+
+that I can only control him telepathically up to
+100 feet, but could continue to see.
+
+MATT: Let me double-check.
+
+LIAM: I’m happy whatever your ruling is, but
+that’s how we’ve done it.
+
+MATT: I have to recall the specifics, I may have
+confused–
+
+TRAVIS: If that’s the case, we’ll get the boat. If
+not, we’ll let drone sparrow activate.
+
+LIAM: That’s what I based this whole plan on.
+
+LAURA: Do we have to get in disguise again in
+order to leave?
+
+TRAVIS: We could try to go out the side of the
+windows. It is daytime.
+
+LIAM: The wording was a little squirrely.
+
+MATT: The wording is a little squirrely. Yeah, you
+cannot communicate with it telepathically, but you
+
+could technically still see through its eyes, I
+suppose.
+
+LIAM: So I can give him the command up close to
+go, but if anything happens I can’t improvise with
+
+him. He does what the command is.
+
+MATT: Right. What’s the command?
+
+LIAM: To fly north to the island and circle it a
+few times to see what we can see and come back.
+
+MATT: All right. As you go up to the window and
+release Frumpkin–
+
+TRAVIS: Can we say we’re doing this from one of
+our rooms?
+
+LIAM: We gather in Fjord and Molly’s room.
+
+MATT: It’s curious, when Caleb is focusing, the
+pupils go to a very faint sky blue. You see
+
+flickering in them, though you cannot make any
+imagery out of it, it’s just the strange movement
+
+within the pupil.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, there’s that bullshit again.
+
+LAURA: He can’t communicate with us when he’s like
+this?
+
+TRAVIS: He talks. He will talk to you out of the
+fucking blue.
+
+LAURA: Can he feel if we touch him? I poke him in
+the forehead.
+
+LIAM: Ow.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+LIAM: Don’t do that, please, I’m trying to
+concentrate.
+
+LAURA: Can he tell who did it?
+
+SAM: No, he can’t see you.
+
+LAURA: That’s wonderful.
+
+SAM: But I will tell him later when he asks.
+
+LAURA: Well, okay, but he won’t know now.
+
+MATT: As you concentrate, the bird’s-eye view of
+Trostenwald– Frumpkin carries up high into the
+
+air. For the large lake that it is, you can see
+two smaller land masses in the center of the lake.
+
+Technically not north from where you are now,
+since you’re back in the city, it’s more of a
+
+northeastern direction. They’re both relatively
+small, one’s maybe a few hundred feet across,
+
+another one is maybe 50 feet across. It’s a
+smaller mass. Watching as it coasts downward and
+
+does a pass over the larger one, make a perception
+check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: That is a six plus very little or nothing,
+so you can guesstimate.
+
+MATT: There is a faint treeline on this island.
+The island has a few small trees, which is mainly
+
+what you had seen during the night when you looked
+out over the water, Beauregard. The land mass was
+
+actually the very top of this tree line. It’s a
+small grove that has clustered there on the center
+
+of this island. Unable to make out any other
+details other than the tops of these trees and
+
+there’s a few spots in between where you can see
+overgrown grass and general ground, rock.
+
+LIAM: This is the bigger one?
+
+MATT: The bigger one, yeah. Make a perception
+check for the smaller one.
+
+LIAM: Worse. Five.
+
+MATT: The other one has maybe five or six trees on
+it, but most of them appear to have either died or
+
+be standing alone on this small mass. That one
+looks pretty barren. Even with as bad of a look as
+
+that was, it doesn’t look like there’s anything
+visible on that land mass.
+
+LIAM: Does it look balder than the other?
+
+MATT: It does.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: The larger one has much more of a cluster, a
+grove.
+
+LIAM: Last question, I can probably tell how far
+apart these two islands are, yeah?
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re roughly 600 feet apart from
+each other.
+
+LIAM: 600, okay.
+
+SAM: We’re all sitting around in this room,
+watching him watch TV, essentially.
+
+MATT: Yes, basically.
+
+SAM: While this is going on, can I whip out my
+little chemistry kit and start putting together
+
+some chemical stuff?
+
+MATT: Sure, what would you like to make?
+
+SAM: Acid.
+
+MATT: Okay. It requires half a day to make that.
+
+SAM: I’ll start it, then.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Get in an hour of work.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: While she’s doing that, I’m going to
+take my staff and repair where it cracked.
+
+MATT: That’s easy enough.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to braid Caleb’s hair.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I feel that.
+
+LAURA: I know.
+
+LIAM: And it feels good.
+
+SAM: We talking just one braid? French braid?
+
+LAURA: Like a few little braids, because his hair
+is not super long. Maybe one here, one here, and
+
+one down here.
+
+LIAM: You can’t make me Vax again, it won’t work.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check, adding your
+proficiency modifier.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: You kill us all.
+
+TALIESIN: Play-Doh, we’ve got Play-Doh.
+
+MATT: For the supplies that you’ve spent– You’ve
+used your one set of acid supplies you had on you,
+
+so you’ll have to buy more to make it again. As
+you begin to make it, it becomes caustic and
+
+begins to melt through part of your glove. You
+immediately freak out, you drop it, and it hits
+
+the wood. Splatters a bit and begins to melt
+through the wood.
+
+SAM: Sorry. I didn’t mean to, I was–
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Now we can spy on the people below
+us.
+
+SAM: It didn’t go through the entire floor, I
+don’t think.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’re not going to get our deposit
+back.
+
+SAM: We’ll move the nightstand over a little to
+cover it up. No one will see.
+
+MARISHA: Is it slowly eating through the
+wood?
+
+MATT: It is still slowly eating through the wood.
+
+SAM: I pour some water on it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no.
+
+TALIESIN: That makes it worse.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+MATT: Eventually Frumpkin begins to return, having
+done Frumpkin’s full watch.
+
+LIAM: When I see that he’s halfway back, I come
+out of it.
+
+MATT: You come out of it and the first thing you
+see is all of them gathered around this hole in
+
+the wood.
+
+LIAM: What are you doing?
+
+SAM: I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I plant my hands on the sides of the wood
+and start transmuting it to iron.
+
+LAURA: Iron? That’s not noticeable.
+
+MATT: As you concentrate, the area and the wood
+around where that hole is all of a sudden begins to
+
+turn darker and more solid. While the texture
+remains of wood, suddenly it has the appearance of
+
+a dull reddish-brown metal.
+
+SAM: Thank you. We’ll mop it up with some towels
+and whatnot while it’s still iron.
+
+LIAM: Hopefully it will dry.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a hell of a talent you have.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s pretty fancy.
+
+MARISHA: Is that what you did with the coin? Is
+this the coin trick?
+
+SAM: No, the coin was magic. It was a magic pot
+that we sold you.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, I’ve been concentrating on
+skinky-doodles all day.
+
+SAM: That is your power word.
+
+LAURA: Man. All right.
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: It’s fine.
+
+MARISHA and SAM: Sorry.
+
+LIAM: But it brought us closer together.
+
+SAM: Would you like back the two copper pieces you
+gave me for the pot?
+
+LAURA: No, you keep it. I’m a very generous
+person.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we ask what you saw?
+
+LIAM: Of course, sorry. Acid. Wood. There are two
+islands out there, a bigger one– they’re not
+
+close– and a smaller one. One is bald-ish, a
+couple of trees, but I couldn’t see too well on
+
+either of them. The bigger one is dense with
+trees. I didn’t see them.
+
+LAURA: Did you have it fly down closer so you
+could see better?
+
+LIAM: I thought that he would be able to see from
+the air, and I thought that would be safer,
+
+so no, I’m sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Was it busy water, was there lots of
+ships out?
+
+LIAM: I would have seen that.
+
+MATT: There are some fishing vessels out there,
+and there are a number of them that are still at
+
+the docks.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not a lull for any reason?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LIAM: It’s not fleet week.
+
+LAURA: I guess we should go to the big island?
+
+LIAM: I think that the chances of finding it on
+the big island are greater, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. Out the window, shall we?
+
+MARISHA: What time of day is it?
+
+MATT: By now it’s 3:30 in the afternoon, four
+o'clock.
+
+LAURA: Should we wait until dusky-time?
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I’m thinking. Wait until
+the sun starts to go down? Because it’s got to be
+
+soon at this point.
+
+MATT: Actually, it’s probably closer to five at
+the time that you’ve spent with Frumpkin, so it’s
+
+starting to get closer to dusk.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Does anybody else want braids in the
+amount of time we have to wait?
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, yeah! Can you give me one going back
+this way?
+
+LAURA: Of course, I can totally do that.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks.
+
+TRAVIS: Is anyone else going to be heading out the
+front door besides Caleb, Nott, and myself?
+
+LAURA: I don’t want to waste a spell this time.
+
+TRAVIS: I think that’s smart.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll keep with you.
+
+LIAM: How far away, roughly, was the edge of the
+lake and islands from where we are right now?
+
+MATT: From where you are right now? I’d say a mile
+and a half.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so while everyone is preparing, I take
+out my spool of silver thread and I go first to
+
+Jester’s room, and I stretch the thread across,
+and a little (magic flitter sound) flashes across
+
+and the thread disappears. It takes about ten
+minutes each time, and I do the same on Fjord’s
+
+doorway, stretch across (magic flitter sound). If
+anyone goes in to these doors besides you, I will
+
+know, but not when we’re on that island. Only on
+the way there. Lasts about a mile.
+
+LAURA: That’s awesome!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s great, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: While we’re getting ready, Molly, I don’t
+know if you unintentionally dodged the question
+
+last time, or if you didn’t hear me, but you never
+exactly told us how the circus creates and writes
+
+their performance acts.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d forgotten about that.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, so you did hear me though?
+
+TALIESIN: We were in the middle of things.
+
+MARISHA: Just clarifying.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s usually Gustav. If somebody’s got
+an act, they show it off, Gustav figures out how
+
+it’s going to work into the narrative. Puts it all
+together.
+
+MARISHA: You bring your own narrative?
+
+TALIESIN: You bring a bit, and then the bit is
+shaped and formed by the director of the show. If
+
+you can do a thing with fire or you can do some
+juggling, and then they figure out how that’s
+
+going to work into everything. Where it sits and
+what costuming, and the whole thing is all an act.
+
+Mostly. Mostly an act.
+
+MARISHA: Did Toya and Kylre come together with
+their act?
+
+LAURA: They came separate.
+
+MARISHA: They came separate.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you’re thinking of Toya and Kylre?
+They were an act before– They were an act for as
+
+long as I can remember, right?
+
+MATT: As long as you can remember, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’ve never not known them as an
+act.
+
+LAURA: I thought when we talked to them they said
+that Toya came after Kylre. They joined the circus
+
+at separate times.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what they told you?
+
+SAM: When we were investigating, we were–
+
+LAURA: We gave them a hard– what was it?
+
+SAM: Bad Cop.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, Good Cop. I was the good cop.
+
+SAM: I was the bad cop!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and we got hard information from
+them!
+
+SAM: You’re not leaving here without telling us
+the truth!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and I was like, “Don’t worry, she
+won’t hurt you!”
+
+SAM: I’m crazy! I’ll bite her too!
+
+LAURA: Then they fessed up to everything!
+They were like, “We’re a fiend!” and she was like,
+
+“I’m a little girl!”
+
+SAM: Yeah, it was crazy.
+
+LAURA: That was how it went.
+
+SAM: She confessed to being a little girl.
+
+LIAM: Do you have any empty positions at the
+circus for these two?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m feeling like maybe that might be a
+thing.
+
+LIAM: Tealeaf, you said, “It’s mostly an act.”
+What’s the not-mostly part?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I mean, everyone’s got some weird.
+We’re weird people. People come in and you’re a
+
+bit strange, you got something you can do.
+
+LIAM: Are they all swashbuckling swordsmen like
+you?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: Can they all tell fortunes like you?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+SAM: Do they cut themselves like you?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, that’s a complicated conversation,
+but no.
+
+MARISHA: You guys are super easy to lie to, no
+offense or anything. They lied to them, which means–
+
+LAURA: No, they didn’t lie to us!
+
+SAM: We meted out the truth!
+
+LAURA: They told us the truth!
+
+SAM: We cracked the case wide open!
+
+TALIESIN: She is a little girl, to be fair.
+
+LIAM: Nott?
+
+SAM: Toya. Unless, and here’s my new theory: the
+big frog man can leech the life force from people?
+
+LIAM: If that’s what it is, yeah.
+
+SAM: What if Toya is a fully-grown adult woman,
+but he’s been slowly leeching so much life from
+
+her that she’s a small husk.
+
+TALIESIN: Toya’s not a fully-grown adult woman.
+
+SAM: She’s a tiny full-grown person!
+
+TALIESIN: She’s a dwarf.
+
+SAM: Oh, she’s just a dwarf? Oh, okay, that makes
+more sense, actually, when you say it that way. It
+
+seemed like she was shrunken down from magic!
+
+TALIESIN: That is so offensive.
+
+LIAM: Perhaps this girl Toya is his baby’s bottle,
+and then once in a while he wants an extra snack.
+
+TALIESIN: I think you’re right, but I don’t know
+how he’s managed to go this long. Why now, and why
+
+in front of all those people?
+
+LAURA: What if he’s like one of those creatures
+that lives on the bottom of the sea, and she’s not
+
+actually even a person, she’s like this light
+thing that dangles in front of–
+
+SAM: One of his tentacles!
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: He has tentacles now.
+
+SAM: Not just tentacles, dwarf tentacles!
+
+LIAM: Fucking anime actors.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Let’s go. I think we know all we need to know.
+
+TALIESIN: I think he is a fiend. I think he is
+feeding off her. The rest of it I’m not sure.
+
+MARISHA: You never noticed Toya acting weird? You
+were never like, “Oh, this is a strange–”
+
+TALIESIN: Have you met us? We’re all a bit weird,
+and you don’t ask a ton of questions.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but there’s a difference between
+“quirky” weird and “Oh, I think this person’s life
+
+"force is being siphoned away from them” weird.
+
+TALIESIN: There is. It’s the difference between
+being in a carnival and not being in a carnival.
+
+MARISHA: Then why were you with the carnival?
+
+TALIESIN: Because I’m weird!
+
+MARISHA: (groaning)
+
+SAM: That tracks. That fully tracks.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, it’s putting together. He was
+never that talkative. I don’t know. I don’t like it.
+
+LIAM: Well, what are we doing?
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go find the damn toad!
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use Mask of Many Faces to change
+into that older gray-haired farmer?
+
+MATT: Sure. Easy enough. The sun is close to
+setting. you’ve got about another 30 minutes
+
+or so before it sets.
+
+SAM: Let’s go.
+
+LAURA: I bless you.
+
+SAM: Gesundheit. On the way out, can I grab some
+booze from the bar to fill up my platinum flask?
+
+Or to fill it up a little?
+
+MATT: Okay, we’ll say for that, that’ll run you
+about– Fine liquor? About two silver pieces.
+
+SAM: Great. I’ll mark it down.
+
+MATT: It’s a hefty flask, too.
+
+TRAVIS: Using D&D Beyond.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Mark that bar tally. All right. Liquor
+refilled, you go towards the window, you all
+
+gather and glance out, and in the alley below the
+inn is a stationed crownsguard that wasn’t there
+
+before. You immediately get the sense that with
+the sudden murder of two crownsguard being
+
+discovered in the vicinity, they may have beefed
+up security a little bit.
+
+MARISHA: Ah shit.
+
+MATT: Only one of them is guarding the alley’s
+exit onto the main street, and they’re looking
+
+away at the moment out into the road, but occasionally
+glance over their shoulder into the alley. But
+
+there appears to be a little more of a security
+set-up.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you should go out the front and talk
+to him and distract him so we can sneak out the window.
+
+TRAVIS: I can do that. Do you want to come along
+on this little escapade?
+
+LIAM: Yes, I’m a good talker when I have to be.
+
+SAM: As am I.
+
+TALIESIN: Well!
+
+LIAM: Not for this.
+
+SAM: I’ll keep lookout.
+
+TALIESIN: I am not the right kind of talker for
+this.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. So I’ll head out the front.
+
+MATT: Okay, you exit without issue.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I locate the crownsguard?
+
+MATT: Easy enough, and as you exit the tavern, you
+can see where once there were two guards sitting
+
+at the front, there’s now three, and there are two
+guards stationed across the street that are
+
+keeping a watch. It looks like everyone’s on high
+alert since they’ve had some of their own
+
+crownsguard killed. You make your way around the
+corner, through the T-intersection to the other
+
+road that meets with the main street that crosses
+in front of the Nestled Nook, and you see the
+
+guard stationed outside who’s currently leaning up
+against the wall, arms crossed, looking back and forth.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I run up to him and say: (old raspy
+voice) You, please, over here! I’ve seen one of
+
+those creatures! It’s tearing into him and it’s
+horrible. Please, come quickly!
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Oh yes, here it is. Come on, charis.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? He goes, “Which way? Please, point and
+show me.”
+
+TRAVIS: This way, quickly, please!
+
+MATT: He grabs his blade and draws it out, and
+gives a jog after you. The rest of you guys make
+
+your way down quickly outside into the alleyway.
+Make a stealth check.
+
+LAURA: I’m so scared of rolling right now.
+
+TALIESIN: Why does every roll have to be– Oh
+thank god.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, why.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no.
+
+SAM: We’re fine, we went out the front door.
+
+MARISHA: Nope, it’s a one.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a nordic “7.”
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+SAM: We’re going out the front door.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know! You know, if it’s binary,
+one means–
+
+MATT: All right. Between the three of you making
+the check that’s still a majority success. But you
+
+do pop your ankle when you land.
+
+MARISHA: Did you see the stink-eye he gave me?
+
+LAURA: Don’t make comments after
+he just was kind to us.
+
+MATT: I was being kind! You sprained your ankle a
+little bit as you land and you kind of hop behind
+
+but the three of you make your way past the alley
+without issue.
+
+SAM: Does she have disadvantage on all checks
+for the next two days?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That’s how I would rule it.
+
+TALIESIN: This is why we don’t have you as DM.
+
+MARISHA: This ankle is affecting my wisdom! It’s
+reaching into my family’s history!
+
+LIAM: Dungeons & Dragons is about punishment.
+
+MATT: The three of you dart on the outside and
+make your way down the alley behind what looks to
+
+be a cluster of empty rain barrels that are set up
+to catch during storms, and you appear to have
+
+managed to just avoid the sight of the guarding
+crownsguard on the outside of the inn. Caleb and
+
+Nott, what are you guys doing?
+
+LIAM: We’re scouting the way nonchalantly, I would
+imagine.
+
+SAM: I’m real! I’m with you!
+
+MATT: So they darted off into the alley, what are
+you guys doing?
+
+LIAM: We could make our way to the outskirts of
+town.
+
+SAM: I said that I would be on lookout duty, so
+I’m just peering– Wait they went to the alley to
+
+go?
+
+MATT: While he was distracting them, you saw the
+guard leave with Fjord.
+
+SAM: We’ll go with, right?
+
+LIAM: No, we can stay in the open. I send Frumpkin
+up into the air over the party, 100 feet in the air.
+
+SAM: We’re just going out in the open to the
+water.
+
+TALIESIN: We can also follow the bird.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I was going to say, why don’t you
+guys lead the way, and you guys give us a signal
+
+if you guys see a guard.
+
+MATT: You aren’t there. You haven’t caught up with
+them yet, they’re still out in the open.
+
+TALIESIN: I miss the earrings.
+
+LIAM: So I take your hand, and I’m watching them
+from above.
+
+SAM: I’m guiding him along.
+
+MATT: So the two of you make your way towards the
+docks slowly.
+
+LIAM: I’m totally acting like I see everything.
+
+MATT: Right. I see everything.
+
+LAURA: I have my hood up.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no, I’m over cloak.
+
+TRAVIS: Weekend at Bernie’s walking. Looking
+around at nothing.
+
+MATT: You guide for two and a half blocks and the
+guard’s still like, “Where is it?”
+
+TRAVIS: I look over my shoulder and keep running,
+and then go: Oh, what do you want? Who are you?
+
+Why are you following me?
+
+MATT: “You called me– You said there was one of
+them–”
+
+TRAVIS: Have I done something again? Have you seen
+my son? What’s your name? You’re a strong looking–
+
+MATT: He sheathes the blade.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh dear. Do you have any coin?
+
+LIAM: It’s badass.
+
+MATT: He walks up and slaps you across the top of
+the head, and just goes, “Don’t go wasting our time.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry. No respect for the elderly,
+apparently. I walk away.
+
+MATT: He spits on the ground towards you and turns
+around and heads back to his post.
+
+TRAVIS: (grunting) I make my way towards the
+docks.
+
+MATT: You all manage to slowly make your way to
+the outskirts of the Ustaloch, down to where the
+
+majority of the docks are set up on the lake
+itself. Since the lights have gone out, most of
+
+the boats have now come back in, and they are
+bringing in their hauls out, and have small nets
+
+and baskets filled with fish they’ve caught while
+they’re out there, small crustaceans, most of them
+
+are in the process of just offloading and locking
+up and tying their boats. What are you guys doing?
+
+LIAM: I think perhaps the best thing to do is to
+rent a boat, not steal a boat.
+
+LAURA: You should talk to people.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we may be able to avoid any kind
+of trading of currency.
+
+LIAM: What’s your idea?
+
+TRAVIS: Let me see if I can find a boat that would
+accommodate all of us and see if we can find some
+
+amicable people.
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: As a sailor, apparently I’m able to
+acquire free passage on ships.
+
+MATT: You are, actually.
+
+TRAVIS: I have to talk the talk and
+maybe trade something, but–
+
+MATT: One of the larger fishing
+vessels that can carry a group of your size, as
+
+well as a couple of others, has already been
+pulled in and most everyone has been loaded off.
+
+You can see there’s one gentleman in his
+mid-forties, a little bit of a five o'clock shadow
+
+on his chin, a small scar across the bottom of it.
+He has a heavy knitted cap that’s folded back onto
+
+the top of his shoulders and a long coat, and as
+he’s standing there, he looks over at you and
+
+watches you approach, taking the rope and tying it
+around the edge.
+
+TRAVIS: Hello there. I was hoping that perhaps I
+could trouble you. We’re trying to make our way
+
+out into the lake, some of my companions and I,
+for a small day trip. We’ve never quite been out
+
+on the lake, not this one. Is there a chance we
+could trade some work on your day’s journey for
+
+some travel?
+
+MATT: “If you’re looking for someone to take you
+around the lake, I could do that for a bit of coin, sure.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry, we’re a bit light on coin. Is
+there perhaps anything we could help you with
+
+around here in trade?
+
+MATT: He glances at your hands as you’re talking,
+“You look like a hard-worker.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. Many years of my life.
+
+MATT: “Where are you from?”
+
+TRAVIS: Port Damali.
+
+MATT: “I see you’ve been a shiphand before. I can
+see the cracks in the fingers.”
+
+TRAVIS: They never go away.
+
+MATT: He looks at his own hand. “So you’re just
+looking for a joyride?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it would help me look a bit more
+impressive in the eyes of my younger comrades.
+
+MATT: “I’ll tell you what. I’ll take you around.
+You get a bottle to take more out there, we’ll
+
+call it even.”
+
+TRAVIS: Much obliged.
+
+MATT: “All right.” He goes and starts getting the
+boat ready to go back out on the lake.
+
+TRAVIS: I go back. It fucking worked.
+
+LAURA: That was pretty cool, Gramps.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks. We should go.
+
+MATT: He’s getting ready. The trade was to bring a
+bottle.
+
+TRAVIS: A bottle! Right. You don’t happen to carry
+any fine firewhiskey on you, do you?
+
+SAM: Nope.
+
+TRAVIS: If I gave you some money, could you go
+pick us up a nice bottle of some stuff?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t trust you. If I gave you some
+money, could you–?
+
+LAURA: Yes, you can definitely trust me.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t trust you either. Beau, I’m going
+to give you three gold.
+
+MARISHA: That’s too much, but do I get to keep the
+change?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it. I’ll be right back. I go get two
+bottles.
+
+MATT: A bottle of fine wine runs you about ten
+gold pieces. A bottle of basic wine, about a gold.
+
+This is some Two-Buck Chuck style of wine.
+
+TRAVIS: You can’t come back with ten gold wine if
+I said I was broke.
+
+MARISHA: Exactly.
+
+TALIESIN: Two-Gold Bold.
+
+MATT: You spend the gold and you get a bottle of
+cheap wine, make your way back to the boat–
+
+LAURA: Can I pull Fjord aside while she’s off
+doing that?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, that voice you’re doing. It almost
+sounded like you actually did in Port Damali.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, yeah.
+
+LAURA: I mean, I like that voice. I like this
+voice too, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, well I’m glad. I’m partial to it
+myself.
+
+LAURA: I like it. You can keep doing it.
+
+MATT: As you return with the bottle, you all get
+onto the boat. The older gentleman, as you all get
+
+on, introduces himself: “I’m Noah, this is my
+vessel. I’ll take you where you need to go. Now,
+
+if I can ask where you’re headed. Want to do a
+pass on the lake and back, or…”
+
+SAM: Caleb, where are we headed?
+
+LAURA: Wait, are you still in bird mode?
+
+LIAM: No. That ended. We hear that there’s
+beautiful islands out in the middle of the
+
+Ustaloch.
+
+MATT: As he pulls the rest of the rope in as you
+guys are on board, he stops. “Beautiful?”
+
+TRAVIS: They haven’t been on the water much. An
+island to the eyes of someone like him would appear–
+
+LIAM: I’ve never seen a lake before this one so,
+first island. It’s a very big moment for me.
+
+MATT: He goes and gets his paddle out and begins
+making his way– “Well there’s only two islands
+
+out there. One’s a piece of shite and the other’s
+Crookedstone.”
+
+LAURA: What’s Crookedstone?
+
+MATT: “Crookedstone used to be where and old witch
+lived about a hundred years ago.”
+
+(gasps)
+
+MATT: “No one goes over to Crookedstone.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: No one goes to Crookedstone.
+
+TALIESIN: That is our siren’s call.
+
+LIAM: Did you say piece of shite? What’s the name
+of the other one?
+
+MATT: “Well, it doesn’t really have a name. It’s
+too small.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, so the big one is Crookedstone?
+
+LIAM: Crookedstone, yeah.
+
+MATT: “Can I ask you where you’re going?”
+
+LAURA: I mean, that sounds like fun, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you guys aren’t actually afraid of
+some–
+
+MATT: He puts the oar down–
+
+SAM: Boink.
+
+MATT: (cork removal noise) (gulps) (sighs)
+
+TALIESIN: No aerator?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: You monster!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve ruined it.
+
+MATT: “Fair be it to me to judge. To Crookedstone,
+then.” He picks up his oar and begins paddling.
+
+LAURA: Tell me more about this witch!
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. Probably died many years ago
+and no one goes around, seeing as it’s cursed
+
+land. You’ll see for yourself soon enough.”
+
+LAURA: Did she have a wart on her nose?
+
+MATT: “Probably.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “We don’t really deal with witch folk.”
+
+LAURA: Did she wear a hat? Like a pointy one?
+
+MATT: “I’d only expect as such.”
+
+LAURA: Right?
+
+MATT: (chuckles) Takes another swig as you guys
+begin to make your way towards the center of the
+
+Ustaloch–
+
+TRAVIS: Can I put an arm around Beau and have her
+come to the front of the boat so we can check out
+
+the waters as we’re going, just for anything that
+might be–
+
+MATT: Sure. Both of you make a perception check,
+please.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to keep my eyes peeled as
+well.
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to draw witches in my
+sketchbook.
+
+MARISHA: (yelling) God fucking shitballs cock!
+
+LIAM: I actually tagged along with them.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: (growls and sighs)
+
+LAURA: So it went well?
+
+MARISHA: (high-pitched) It’s great. It’s a good
+roll.
+
+SAM: I’m drinking tons of whiskey because I’m
+super scared to be on the water.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MATT: Okay. For future note, if everyone’s going
+to make a perception check I may have a few folks,
+
+you know, to helm it, and other people aiding
+their roll with advantage. Just so we don’t end up
+
+having a barrage of perception like, “They failed?
+I do it. They failed? I do it.” Because that
+
+gets a little lame. All right, as you guys keep
+watch over the edge of the water, heading in as
+
+the sky darkens, heading towards Crookedstone, the
+island in the center of the Ustaloch. Prepare
+
+yourselves for whatever you’ll find there and
+we’re going to go to break!
+
+TRAVIS: Crookedstone, here we come!
+
+MATT: It’s time. We’re going to go ahead and take
+a quick ten minute break, roughly. We have ten
+
+minutes so we get a little bathroom break. We’ll
+be back here shortly. Make sure to stick around
+
+for a video at the break in which we have our
+Wyrmwood contest to win some awesome Wyrmwood
+
+stuff, so keep an eye. We’ll be back here in a
+little bit. See you soon.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back! Sam!
+
+TRAVIS: Wow. There’s Hail Marys and then there’s
+that.
+
+LIAM: (laughing)
+
+MATT: Oh, I’m going to get you guys back one of
+these days real hard.
+
+MARISHA: You already do.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t poke the DM.
+
+LIAM: Did that make it in? That was a nuke!
+
+MATT: Welcome back.
+
+TALIESIN: I was weirdly expecting more.
+
+LIAM: Are you kidding?
+
+MATT: Our winner of the grandiose collection of
+Wyrmwood elements is koehlerart. Congratulations,
+
+you’re the winner. Danoba will contact you and get
+your information. Pretty nice win on your part.
+
+We’ll have next week another giveaway to look
+forward to that.
+
+LAURA: I choked on my spit as I wooed.
+
+MATT: You swooed? Don’t do that.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t even know how you did that!
+
+MATT: The sun has set as you guys approach the
+outer banks of the Crookedstone Island in the
+
+center of the Ustaloch. You can see the grove, a
+clustered central conglomerate of trees that all
+
+create this mound of brush. Now that you’re up
+close against it, you can see the bit of moonlight
+
+that’s starting to come over the horizon dancing
+across the upper part of the canopy. The trees, at
+
+most, are about 15 to ten feet tall. They’re not
+incredibly huge, some even hovering around the
+
+five to ten foot range on the outskirts.
+
+LAURA: How tall was the lizard man? Devil toad?
+
+MATT: He was about eight feet tall, hunched
+forward.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: That’s big.
+
+MATT: As you approach the bank, you can see
+already there’s a lot of heavy rocks. This is not
+
+a soft, muddy embankment like the outskirts of the
+lake. This has a lot of jagged rock, and your
+
+ship-finding friend is carefully making his way
+through as close as he can before he comes to a
+
+stop, pushes off with an oar, and says, “All
+right, I think this is as close as I can get. What
+
+"are you doing here, if I might ask?”
+
+LAURA: We are going to have a picnic on the
+island.
+
+MARISHA: Beach party.
+
+LAURA: Nighttime beach party!
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Nighttime beach party.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re carrying nothing.
+
+LAURA: Wait, what is it, a deception? 14.
+
+MATT: “Sorry I asked.”
+
+MARISHA: The nighttime is the best time to go
+frog-digging.
+
+MATT: “I’ll tell you what.”
+
+SAM: That is true.
+
+TRAVIS: Kentucky.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: “I get the sense the less I know, the better
+off I am. Go about your business, I’ll be waiting
+
+"here. Don’t do anything stupid. I’m not getting
+involved with anything. If there’s some illegal
+
+"business here and I see something shifty, I’m back
+on the shore and you have to swim your way home.”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. Would someone help me down?
+
+LAURA: Here, I’ll help you, Gramps. On either
+side.
+
+SAM: All you need to know is, there’s three dudes
+and three ladies. You do the math.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t do the math.
+
+MATT: He takes the bottle and takes a big, heavy
+swig, and sits down in the boat.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll return.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys step off the boat
+into about ankle-deep water, traversing the broken
+
+bits of sharpened stone, making your way to the
+actual island of Crookedstone, you begin to slowly
+
+approach the outside of the treeline. What do you
+guys want to do?
+
+LAURA: Should I cast Good and Evil Detection
+again?
+
+SAM: That seemed to work.
+
+LAURA: I can do it.
+
+TALIESIN: Before you do, let’s take a look around.
+I’m going to take a look around to see if I can
+
+find any footprints.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I use my (mumbles) again, or no?
+
+MATT: What are you doing? Are you looking around
+for details?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m specifically looking for signs of
+Kylre.
+
+MATT: Make a survival check, with advantage.
+
+LAURA: What was the name of the creature again?
+
+MARISHA: A nergaliid.
+
+SAM: Heavens to Murgatroyd.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, that’s awful. Wait, that’s cocked.
+
+LIAM: We’re under the light of the moons,
+correct?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s awful. I can’t even– that’s
+eight.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to tell. Because it’s such a rocky
+shore, there aren’t a lot of signs of landfall.
+
+LIAM: Moonlight, at this point?
+
+MATT: Moonlight, and a little bit of a dissipating
+orange-purple glow in the sky.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s right, we’ve got some humans.
+
+SAM: I did a Travis burp.
+
+MATT: Oh no.
+
+LAURA: He blew it out.
+
+SAM: I blew it that way!
+
+MARISHA: Thanks?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh wow.
+
+TRAVIS: You can taste it, can’t you?
+
+MATT: What’s the plan, guys?
+
+MARISHA: You didn’t find anything?
+
+TALIESIN: We can start heading in.
+
+LAURA: I can cast it, I just will lose a spell
+slot.
+
+LIAM: Hold on. I send Frumpkin into the sky. Look
+down, and see if now that I have him flying
+
+closer, maybe I can see better, or see something
+moving in this dim light, before it goes?
+
+MATT: Perception check on Frumpkin, please.
+
+LAURA: Roll really good.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage because of the lack of
+light.
+
+LIAM: Balls. That’s a big seven.
+
+MARISHA: We’re lowly humans. How did you deal with
+this?
+
+TALIESIN: It was awful. I let all of you go first
+everywhere.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the lack of detail, nothing really
+catches Frumpkin’s eye from above.
+
+LIAM: It’s too dark. (flutters)
+
+MARISHA: Can I look and see if I see any big
+broken branches, or sign of something big moving
+
+through the forest?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Perception? Not investigation?
+
+MATT: Are you glancing about, or are you going to
+wade through the forest to look for things?
+
+LIAM: No ranger.
+
+MARISHA: I’d like to move up to the treeline and
+see where the mud is, and see if I can see any
+
+sign of something big moving through the forest.
+
+TALIESIN: Or for a witch’s hut.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LAURA: It’s a big island.
+
+MARISHA: That’s the same damn fucking roll. Piece
+of shit.
+
+MATT: Which is good, because the first roll should
+have stayed anyway. Works out well.
+
+MARISHA: Investigation? Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven. It’s hard to tell in the dark,
+unfortunately. Your human eyes prevent you from
+
+finding any details in the vicinity without a
+light source. The faint bit of moonlight gives you
+
+the general structure of the island, but beyond
+that, even looking close, you have a hard time
+
+making out details.
+
+TRAVIS: How about we fan out and move in?
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Keep a line. Within eye shot of each
+other.
+
+MARISHA: Like looking for drowned kids?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Make a line.
+
+LIAM: Because I can’t see anything, I’m going to
+hand on your shoulder.
+
+SAM: Guide you through.
+
+MATT: Okay. What is the order in which you guys
+are walking or fanning out?
+
+SAM: The exact order that our minis are, right
+there.
+
+MARISHA: You know, it kind of works.
+
+TRAVIS: Put me next to Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s put the humans in the middle, so that
+they can’t be surprised.
+
+MARISHA: Put Fjord on the outside. There we go.
+
+SAM: Well, not the exact order.
+
+LIAM: Do we want to do it like a V-formation, with
+Nott in the lead and the two humans just behind?
+
+SAM: We’re fine like this.
+
+LAURA: Nott should be next to Caleb, because he
+can’t see. So Nott should be right next to Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester and Nott switch.
+
+MARISHA: Just don’t spread out too far to where
+we’re not in shouting distance.
+
+LAURA: Okay. So we spread.
+
+MATT: Technically, you’re in the– We’ll go with
+this.
+
+ALL: It’s fine.
+
+SAM: We’re all going to die anyway.
+
+TALIESIN: Again.
+
+MATT: You guys all carefully make your way into
+the treeline. The smell here is definitely that of
+
+low tide. You get that unearthing of sediment, and
+the occasional whiff of dead fish.
+
+LAURA: Do we smell any brimstone?
+
+MATT: No, not at the moment. You guys push further
+in. Are you being quiet about this?
+
+ALL: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Then I would like you all to make a stealth
+check.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey! There’s my good roll!
+
+MARISHA: That’s all right.
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT and TRAVIS: Wow!
+
+TALIESIN: There’s that magic we never had.
+
+MATT: As you guys slowly become a cohesive unit, a
+true adventuring party, you begin to carefully
+
+make your way through. Thankfully, most of the
+small tree cluster, this small glade, the floor of
+
+it is soft, and as you step, there’s no heavy
+snapping of twigs or crumbling of leaves.
+
+Something does catch the edge of your foot on the
+outskirts, Fjord, as you glance down. You see what
+
+looks to be two crustacean shells: small crabs
+that have been fished out of the nearby lake, and
+
+have been completely eaten. The inside has been
+cleared out.
+
+TRAVIS: Hold for a second. These shells have been
+devoured.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. I pass it down the line. The shells
+have been devoured!
+
+LIAM: The bells have been deflowered.
+
+SAM: The whales are in my power!
+
+LAURA: The veils are covered in flour.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Something about being deflowered.
+
+SAM: Did Toya love crabs?
+
+TALIESIN: She ate what was put in front of her. We
+ate what was put in front of us. We’re not picky people.
+
+MATT: You guys continue about 30 or so feet into
+the treeline, before you start finding, I wouldn’t
+
+say a clearing, but the trees aren’t as closely
+placed together. There is some semblance of an
+
+opening here and there.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+LAURA: Stop burping! Yes you did!
+
+SAM: I didn’t burp!
+
+LAURA: You probably just breathed out hard.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, it was me.
+
+SAM: That was you?!
+
+LIAM: No, I meant Caleb’s stink.
+
+SAM: I have not burped.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m trying to keep an eye out for
+anything.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you’re having a hard time to
+make out any sign. You guys make your way towards
+
+the center of this cluster of trees.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk, Fjord and I will keep a
+lookout for any more crustacean empty shells.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a perception check. Well, one of
+you do, the other can aid if you want to, and that
+
+gives you advantage on the roll.
+
+MARISHA: Help me. I get advantage?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Thank god you’re helping me. Just
+perception? 20 total.
+
+MATT: You don’t see any more crab shells, but you
+do glance a bit ahead, and amongst the trees, you
+
+can see stonework. Stones stacked in a wall that
+is toppled over and fallen. A small ruin. Some
+
+sort of a structure, once a single-story structure
+that seems to have fallen inward and been
+
+destroyed. Partially overgrown, and what little
+moonlight comes through, you can make out the
+
+shape of it. There’s corners still standing, but
+other than that, it looks like it’s been toppled
+
+over and left to ruin.
+
+MARISHA: Is that a cave? I think your eyes are
+better than mine.
+
+TRAVIS. Yeah. With my darkvision, can I zero-in on
+what she’s looking at?
+
+MATT: If you get a little closer, you can, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I scoot up a little bit.
+
+MATT: Okay. You creep up and you can see it’s a
+ruined building. It looks like it was 30 feet on
+
+one side, 15 feet on the other. It’s destroyed.
+
+TRAVIS: I can see why they say a witch was here.
+It’s pretty spooky in this light.
+
+TALIESIN: Even if we weren’t here on business, I
+really want to see this.
+
+LAURA: Can we sneak around the hut?
+
+MARISHA: Can we surround the hut?
+
+MATT: There’s no hut. It’s a ruin.
+
+LAURA: Can we sneak around the ruin?
+
+MARISHA: We’re building a narrative here that Matt
+is not giving us.
+
+MATT: Like The Secret. You’re manifesting a witch
+fight here. “Where’s the hut?”
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s approach.
+
+MATT: You guys approach. Who’s keeping visual
+point on this?
+
+MARISHA: Who’s got better eyes?
+
+TRAVIS, TALIESIN, and LAURA: I have darkvision.
+
+LIAM: I’m moving slow on purpose at the back of
+the group now.
+
+TRAVIS: Which means you are, too.
+
+MATT: Who’s helming this? I’ll give one of you a
+perception roll to help on this.
+
+TRAVIS: Go for it, Molly.
+
+LAURA: No, we’re pointing at you.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re pointing at me? I don’t want
+perception, you want Beau.
+
+MATT: Technically, I should have given Beau
+disadvantage because of her human eyes. I let it
+
+slide because you were looking for crustaceans.
+
+LAURA: I’ll do it! Because I like witch huts, I’ll
+do it. What’s yours?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll do it.
+
+MATT: I’m not used to you being a human.
+
+MARISHA: He basically saw it.
+
+MATT: I know. It worked out fine for the
+narrative.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go for it. I don’t get advantage on
+this.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: No, okay. God. Six.
+
+MATT: It’s too dark to see anything, even with
+your darkvision. It looks like a ruin. It could
+
+very well be that this island is abandoned.
+
+MARISHA: Does it look like, when we get up close
+to it, like it’s caved in on top?
+
+MATT: It looks like whatever roof was has fallen
+in, and all there are are some semblances of the
+
+wall still standing, and corners to the structure,
+but most of it is either crumbled in entirely–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, this is like a famine home in Ireland.
+You can see the edges of it, probably.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord, give me a boost.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure.
+
+MARISHA: Getting up on the roof.
+
+MATT: Okay. You climb up onto– there is no roof
+to it, per se. It’s all fallen in.
+
+SAM: There’s a full hut with a witch inside,
+Matt.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You want me to put a witch in this? You want
+me to throw a witch in this? There can be a witch, Sam!
+
+SAM: There’s a full, two-story hut with a burning
+fireplace.
+
+LIAM: I’ll pull out the Baba Yaga, give me five
+seconds.
+
+MATT: I got rules for this shit in the book.
+
+MARISHA: You hear a dice fall, “And… six witches
+come out.”
+
+MATT: Yeah, going back to my first campaign. Roll
+for number of witches. As you vault up to the top
+
+edge of one of the stronger walls, you head up
+onto the side and glance to the back, right as a
+
+pair of red eyes (whoosh) right up at you, and
+this (growling).
+
+TRAVIS: We know that sound.
+
+MATT: I need you to roll initiative.
+
+TALIESIN: I did not sneak that in, did I?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+SAM: Everybody, or just her?
+
+MATT: All of you.
+
+LAURA: All of us?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Which dice? I haven’t rolled this dice
+yet. Maybe it will be kind.
+
+SAM: Look at this well-constructed map.
+
+LIAM: Oh, shit snacks.
+
+MATT: There’s Beau, right there.
+
+TRAVIS: Look at the size of that.
+
+LIAM: Look, you’re up in the air, bro!
+
+LAURA: And little Toya.
+
+MATT: Whereabouts are you guys, currently?
+
+LIAM: I would be the furthest back.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord’s right next to me.
+
+LAURA: Me and Molly were closer to it.
+
+MATT: Fjord’s right there, giving you the boost
+up. You and Molly were close to it?
+
+LAURA: Closer than Caleb. Yeah, that’s good.
+
+MATT: You guys are next to each other, because
+you’re holding there. Molly moved up to probably
+
+here. Around there?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m all right with that.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’m good.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: The trees are awesome. Oh man! That
+fucking music.
+
+MATT: Let’s go ahead and– oh shit, okay.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, they rolled really well.
+
+SAM: They? It’s just one.
+
+LAURA: Toya’s there too.
+
+SAM: Toya’s just a dwarf girl.
+
+LAURA: She’s going to pull out some shit.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah she is, don’t trust that bitch.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20, anybody? Nott, since you got
+high– You got higher than that last time. 20 to 15?
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+MATT: Hold on. We have Molly up front at 18. Who’s
+next after that?
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: 16.
+
+LIAM: I’m at 15.
+
+TRAVIS: You and Frumpkin?
+
+MATT: For the ease of this, we’re going to run
+with Frumpkin on your initiative order because
+
+otherwise it’s another initiative we have to worry
+about.
+
+LIAM: So keep him with me?
+
+MATT: Yeah. All right, so, Caleb. 15 to ten?
+
+SAM: 11!
+
+MATT: All right, Nott. What did you get, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Five.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: Wait, you can’t see because you’re looking
+through the sparrow, or because you’re a human?
+
+LIAM: I’m human.
+
+SAM: That’s why we’re holding hands?
+
+LIAM: We’re not holding hands anymore.
+
+MATT: Top of the combat round. Molly, you hear
+this growl, and you watch Beau begin to react and
+
+get the staff ready and you immediately know this
+is not good, but you’re up first.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull out both my swords,
+and I’m going to drag them–
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: [imitating him] Borth your
+swords!
+
+SAM: Irish, Laura.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not doing my accent right now. So
+I’m going to pull out both the swords, and I’m
+
+going to drag them on the back of my neck, and
+before the blood even begins to pour, it goes
+
+straight into ice along the blades.
+
+TRAVIS: Sick.
+
+MATT: You can only apply one per round on a bonus
+action.
+
+TALIESIN: Action, bonus action.
+
+MATT: Oh, you’re doing both right now?
+
+TALIESIN: Action and bonus action.
+
+MATT: Technically it’s a bonus action; you can’t
+convert an action to a bonus action.
+
+TALIESIN: I can’t turn an action to a bonus
+action?
+
+MATT: No. Unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, that’s fair.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you could apply it once, and then you
+still have your action if you want to.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: You can mark down, you take down your
+temporary hit points or your max hit points to 22.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to move around and I’m going
+to try and get a little cover right here.
+
+MATT: Okay. You move there?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to move there, and I’m going
+to hold my attack until there’s something to hit.
+
+I’m going to try and make a little wave at Yasha.
+Toya. Ah, brain.
+
+MATT: It is now Kylre’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit, right away.
+
+MATT: All right, seeing you right there, the devil
+toad turns to little Toya to the side, who looks a
+
+bit dirtied at a glance, and goes, “They’re trying
+to take you away. Come, sing for us! Stop them!”
+
+MARISHA: I look down at Fjord and I go: let me
+down! Help me down!
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+MATT: All right. The devil toad is going to
+straight leap, which would pass through your– you
+
+get an attack of opportunity– and land right
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: Look at the size of that thing.
+
+MATT: Make your attack, if you want to.
+
+MARISHA: I can’t really do anything; it’s just a
+whack, right?
+
+MATT: It’s just a hit with your staff, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, 21.
+
+MATT: That hits! Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Just with my staff, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: Not great. Seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage. You smack it on the
+way, with this horrible wet thud to the back of its
+
+body, but it moves through with immense speed,
+especially with the density and the weight of this
+
+thing as it lands, the ground shakes in the area,
+the vicinity, and as it lands, it uses its action
+
+to Summon Devil.
+
+MARISHA: Summon Devil?
+
+MATT: As it lands, it begins to mutter a language
+under its breath. Anybody here speak Infernal?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You hear an incantation that essentially
+amounts to a faint, “Come, protect me, brothers,”
+
+beneath its breath, and three bursts of flame.
+
+SAM: Three!? Not three!
+
+MATT: As three imps apparate in the vicinity.
+
+MARISHA: Fucking imps!
+
+MATT: Here and here. Roll their initiative. Okay.
+
+LAURA: (singing) We’re fucked. We’re fucked.
+
+TRAVIS: So excited right now!
+
+MATT: That’s his action, and Toya’s up next! Toya
+actually rolled initiative just below.
+
+TRAVIS: She wants to be our friend.
+
+MATT: Toya is looking around, looking scared,
+looking at you motioning towards her. (sung note)
+
+Her haunting voice begins to spread from her and I
+need all of you to make a wisdom saving throw, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MARISHA: Also 15.
+
+TALIESIN: 20.
+
+TRAVIS: 17. Natural 17.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+SAM: Still 15.
+
+LAURA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s some good saving throws, guys.
+All of you shake your head and back away. You:
+
+your eyes move towards her, and there’s an
+enchantment that pulls your attention. You have
+
+disadvantage on any attack rolls you make for the
+next turn. She, scared, sees you, and begins to
+
+walk back this way and hide behind the wall, but
+continues to sing, giving this aura in the
+
+vicinity. That ends Toya’s turn. Beau, you’re up,
+as well as Jester.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to Invoke Duplicity.
+
+MATT: So that’s your action? Where are you placing
+your–?
+
+LAURA: So she can appear anywhere?
+
+MATT: Let me see real fast. Still getting used to
+these new abilities.
+
+SAM: Use your D&D Next to look at the information
+about that spell.
+
+MATT: It appears anywhere within 30 feet of you in
+an unoccupied space.
+
+LAURA: Tight. Okay, she’s going to appear in the
+tree in front of me. Next to Fjord.
+
+SAM: Wait, did you have two minis made for
+yourself?
+
+LAURA: No, Matt did the second one! Isn’t that
+cool!?
+
+SAM: Ah, wow.
+
+LAURA: Then as me, I’m going to run away. Can I
+run behind a tree and crouch?
+
+MATT: You can go around this one there.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to crouch behind it.
+
+MATT: That gives you some cover. That’s your turn.
+Beau, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: That’s my turn.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to vault off of the platform
+that I’m on, and I’m going to go for Toya. I’m
+
+going to take my bo staff. I’m going to try and
+take her where her throat is and grapple her down
+
+to the ground. Like to basically throat crush and
+get on top of her.
+
+MATT: All right, make an acrobatics check.
+
+TRAVIS: Little larynx assault.
+
+LAURA: I feel like Beau will have far less
+problems hurting children.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Okay. 15.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You make the landing, roll, and go
+towards her. You’re going to use your action to grapple?
+
+MARISHA: Grapple her down.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an athletics check,
+please.
+
+LIAM: Put her in a body bag, Johnny!
+
+TRAVIS: That was so close.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a 14. Yeah, I know, you can barely
+see that one. Athletics you said? 19. 18, sorry!
+
+MATT: As you land, you manage to grapple Toya and
+using the staff you press her against the wall,
+
+and the scared dwarf girl’s eyes are open wide.
+The singing falters for a second, but she
+
+continues to still sing, and you see her eyes
+looking around desperately for–
+
+MARISHA: Do I have a bonus?
+
+MATT: I mean, you have a bonus action, yes.
+
+MARISHA: Can I crush in a little bit further and
+get her to stop singing?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so proud of you.
+
+SAM: Crush that windpipe.
+
+MARISHA: Just a little!
+
+MATT: Technically a grapple is an attack, so it’s
+an attack action, so yeah. You can.
+
+MARISHA: That’s right. Y'all thought Keyleth was a
+fuck-up. What am I doing, just a straight attack?
+
+MATT: Just a straight attack. If you’re just
+hitting, or pushing ahead with it, I’ll say.
+
+MARISHA: 11.
+
+MATT: 11? Does not hit, actually.
+
+LAURA: She’s got the strongest windpipe ever.
+
+MATT: It’s more that fact that as you’re pressing
+in, she’s adjusting her body and she’s reaching
+
+up, grabbing, and trying to keep her voice
+emitting from her throat. You can’t seem to get a
+
+beat to press. She looks genuinely really scared
+and freaking out at being put in this position.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just going to say: I felt bad for you
+before, but now you should be scared.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends Beau’s turn. Caleb, you’re
+up.
+
+LIAM: Question: is the humans’ visibility shit
+right now?
+
+MATT: Yeah, there’s no light in here.
+
+LIAM: So I can’t see what I’m doing, right?
+
+MATT: Most any roll you’d be making would be at
+disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so four globules of light go (popping)
+out of my hands and one of them hovers–
+
+MATT: Actually, we have a light for this. Forgot
+about that! I should’ve put that on. Hints of
+
+moonlight.
+
+LIAM: It’s a row of four globules of light. One is
+hanging above where my miniature is now. One is
+
+closer to froggy. One is, like a line over the
+building, so that there’s one also hanging over
+
+Beauregard.
+
+MATT: We’ll say within this vicinity here, the
+entire center of the island now glows. You can see
+
+the ruins casting shadows off against the rocks in
+the vicinity from where each globe is placed. You
+
+all have a pretty good view of the battlefield at
+the moment.
+
+LIAM: With my remaining movement, I’m hauling ass
+towards Fjord and whichever Jester that is ahead
+
+of me.
+
+MATT: You can get right behind Fjord if you want
+to. That ends Caleb’s turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay. Seeing where Caleb has run– If I move,
+will that imp next to me get an attack?
+
+MATT: One way to find out.
+
+SAM: Okay. Well then, I will turn to the imp next
+to me and I will slash at it with my shortsword.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it.
+
+SAM: Two.
+
+LAURA: Don’t you add something?
+
+SAM: Two plus six. Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight.
+
+MATT: As you swing wide, it flaps its wings
+backward and the tiny demonic humanoid creature
+
+with its wings in the air goes (cackling).
+
+SAM: All right, I will bonus action disengage and
+run to Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay, there’s that.
+
+TRAVIS: Disengage, baby!
+
+LIAM: So proud! So proud!
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re all clustered up here behind
+the ruins.
+
+LAURA: So smart.
+
+SAM: They can’t get us over here.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right, so that finishes your turn, Nott.
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Over the top of the ruins, can I see the
+hellish toad?
+
+MATT: You can. With the light that’s burning up
+there, it only goes about maybe five or six feet
+
+there. You have a good view of the creature.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use for my bonus action my
+Hexblade’s Curse?
+
+MATT: That you can!
+
+TALIESIN: What?! Hexblade’s Curse?
+
+TRAVIS: I gain bonus to my damage rolls. A 19 or a
+20 is a crit. When it dies, I might get something.
+
+MATT: As you focus on it, and you condense your
+attention, you guys watch as the blade in Fjord’s
+
+hand shimmers slightly. What was previously a
+faint bit of polished metallic suddenly begins to
+
+grow something organic looking. A cluster of
+barnacles begin to appear out of the hilt of the
+
+weapon and curl down about three or four inches
+down the blade, and it begins to drip water,
+
+sourceless. Like it was freshly pulled out of the
+ocean. The shadows that had been drawn from the
+
+nearby bits of stonework begin to tear into the
+body of the devil toad who looks around at the
+
+ground as there’s now this squirrely swirling bit
+of black energy that’s wrapping around and causing
+
+it to look about confused at its torso. That’s
+your bonus action.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m coming for you. I’ll roll around the
+right side so I can see Toya.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use Eldritch Blast at Toya being held
+down by Beau.
+
+MARISHA: He gets advantage, right, because she’s
+pinned?
+
+MATT: You’re shooting Toya? Or are you shooting
+the toad?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry. The toad.
+
+MARISHA: Oh sorry, sorry, sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a 19. That is a crit.
+
+MATT: For the Hexblade’s Curse, we’ll have to
+double check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, it is melee.
+
+MATT: It is for your melee. I don’t think it’s for
+spells unfortunately.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. It is melee. Yeah, I’m
+staying right there. Plus six, so that’s a 25.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Every time he casts a spell, does it go
+(sings Dueling Banjos).
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: 13, 14, 15.
+
+MATT: 15?! Slick.
+
+LIAM: From that blast? Sick.
+
+MATT: Because it’s plus–?
+
+TRAVIS: 1d8 plus four, plus two for the Hexblade’s
+Curse.
+
+MATT: The hexblade– is that also for a melee
+weapon though?
+
+TRAVIS: Bonus to damage rolls against the cursed
+target. It equals my proficiency bonus.
+
+MATT: Great, yeah. That’s 15? With that as you
+snipe through the pommel of your blade, the energy
+
+blast strikes and the toad– as it impacts, the
+shadows seem to grab the bolts of energy and tear
+
+them back towards it’s torso causing additional
+damage as it (grunts in pain).
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use the rest of my movement– yeah,
+no, I’m good where I am.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s the end of your turn. Top of
+the round. Now the imps go.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+LAURA: Imps are the top of the round?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LAURA: Jeez louise.
+
+TRAVIS: Times three right?
+
+LIAM: Nope, that’s a mistake. You also don’t mean
+to do that.
+
+MATT: Two, three, four.
+
+TRAVIS: Twenty feet speed.
+
+MATT: Oh no, it’s a 40 foot fly speed!
+
+(groans)
+
+MARISHA: Of course it is.
+
+TALIESIN: Opening your mouth right there. That was
+so useful! So useful!
+
+MATT: All right, cool.
+
+TRAVIS: My apologies.
+
+MATT: With that, all three are of
+them are going to make a sting strike. That’s one
+
+against you, Caleb. That’s a natural three plus
+five. That’s eight.
+
+LIAM: Ooh, it almost got me though.
+
+MATT: Misses you. Against Nott, that– Jesus.
+Nine.
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MATT: Then Molly. A 17 plus five.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep, that hit me.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, is it close enough to me that
+I would have taken a swipe at it anyways?
+
+MATT: You would have. You take your strike as it
+comes into range.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a 13?
+
+MATT: 13 does hit. Just hits!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a 1d6 plus 1d4. That’s eight
+damage plus one cold damage, so nine damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage. As it swings down
+with its wings, you arc out with your scimitar and
+
+you carve through its body. It looks horribly
+hurt, blood spatters across your arm and across
+
+your forearm from the creature.
+
+But it still survives and jams its stinger
+into you. You suffer from that–
+
+It’s cocked. That is five points of
+
+piercing damage and you have to make a
+constitution saving throw, please.
+
+TALIESIN: Five points of damage and a constitution
+saving throw.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: Constitution saving throw.
+
+Goddamn it. 11.
+
+MATT: 11 is just what you need to succeed! You
+only suffer four points of poison damage.
+
+TALIESIN: So I just took–
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage total.
+
+SAM: That’s nothing! You’re fine.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a lot.
+
+SAM: We each have like 150 hit points.
+
+TRAVIS: The Hexblade’s Curse is on any damage,
+it’s not melee.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: I could roll an extra damage die, and it
+would be for that crit. The 19.
+
+MATT: Oh wait! Okay, good to know.
+
+TRAVIS: It doesn’t have to be melee. I had it
+right there and I should’ve read it.
+
+MATT: Thank you for clarifying. Go ahead and roll
+another die.
+
+TRAVIS: And it’s a 1d10, not a 1d8. I was talking
+out my ass before. So ten.
+
+MATT: You rolled a ten?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I rolled four.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s the additional die.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you, just the four.
+
+MATT: So 19 damage on that one, nice. Good to know,
+thank you. That brings us to the end of the imp’s
+
+turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus action, take a
+slash at that imp. I can only use it as an action,
+
+right?
+
+MATT: Well, no. You have to attack with one hand
+and then as a bonus you can attack with the
+
+other.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, I’ll burn my attack hitting that
+bloody imp.
+
+MATT: You can attack with the one that’s not
+enchanted if you wanted to.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’ll hit it with the enchanted one.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m really hurt and I just took nine
+points of damage.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, 19 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: With a scream and a burst of flame and
+sulfurous cloud, the imp flickers out of
+
+existence.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull back behind this tree
+trunk then and get a little cover to figure out
+
+what to do next, because I’m really hurt.
+
+MATT: Okay, you used your action, you still have
+your bonus action.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I can’t heal or anything. My god,
+I can’t do anything.
+
+MATT: You can still attack with your bonus action
+if you wanted to. Okay, then back away. That’s
+
+your turn then. Molly’s done. Kylre, let’s see
+here. He’s going to make a standing leap.
+
+LAURA: No-o-o-o!
+
+(counting) 30, he can land right there.
+
+SAM: Juggernaut.
+
+MATT: Lands right next to you, Caleb, you get
+knocked almost off your feet and barely hold
+
+yourself there. As it lands, you glance over your
+shoulder at it, its eyes burn ever bright and you
+
+feel this horrible sickening sensation crawl
+across your body, make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+LAURA: Oh god.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MATT: That succeeds the saving throw.
+
+SAM: He’s so wise!
+
+MATT: You are not stunned, as the siphon life
+deals four points of psychic damage to you.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Plenty to spare.
+
+However, he gains four temporary hit points.
+
+TRAVIS: He gains four?
+
+MATT: Yes. The life that it pulls from you
+bolsters himself and it would’ve been a lot worse
+
+if you had failed, so that’s good. All right,
+that’s going to end Kylre’s turn. Now going to
+
+Toya, who’s still singing, I need everybody to
+make a wisdom saving throw, please.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+LIAM: What is this, wisdom? 23.
+
+MATT: Yes. You guys are rolling some crazy fucking
+saving throws!
+
+MARISHA: Just saves.
+
+MATT: Jesus. Well, Toya keeps singing. She’s
+starting to cry now, you can see tears running
+
+down her face as you’re pushing her into the wall.
+That ends Toya’s turn, Beau and Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Am I within hitting range–
+me-me-me–
+
+Can I run away without getting hit?
+
+MATT: You don’t know.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Do you want to do something first?
+
+MARISHA: Go for it, I’m just going to be like:
+Shh, shut up! So go ahead.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to, with my duplicity self,
+get up on the roof.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: Right there. She’s going to Guiding Bolt
+straight in his face.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll for the attack.
+Guiding Bolt is a ranged spell attack, correct?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+Balls! Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven is not a hit. As you attempt to fire
+the bolt outward, the devil creature glances up
+
+and sees your secondary form and then ducks, as it
+blasts into the ground right by your feet, arcing
+
+past and exploding across the dirt and bits of–
+whatever it is there. The word escaped me in the
+
+moment.
+
+SAM: Gore!
+
+MATT: Yes. Well, no, I was going to say compost.
+There you go, compost was the word I was looking
+
+for.
+
+LAURA: Skinky-doodie!
+
+I am going to say: you are so stupid, why
+did you get up on the roof like that?! That’s why
+
+he saw you! I am going to run to the tree,
+straight back.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you come out of the way, the toad’s
+long-armed reach swipes out at you as a reaction.
+
+MARISHA: Jester has some self-deprecation issues?
+
+That is going to be 16 to hit.
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t hit me. 17.
+
+TRAVIS: You have AC 17?
+
+LAURA: I got a shield, bitches.
+
+MATT: As you run and dart, you see the giant arm
+coming down towards you, and you pull the shield
+
+up and it almost causes you to trip from the sheer
+force of the impact. But the brunt of it is taken
+
+by the shield as it scrapes off and you hear this
+horrible grinding of metal as its claws scoop
+
+across the outside of it. That ends your turn I
+believe. Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, so I’ve got the little girl pinned,
+and I am going to go, shh. I am going to take my
+
+arm and–
+
+MATT: Are you trying to cover her mouth?
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an additional
+athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: I want to jam my whole forearm in her
+mouth.
+
+MATT: All right. Make an athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s your forte, so–
+
+MARISHA: Ten!
+
+MATT: She rolled a ten as well. That is
+considered–
+
+MARISHA: A roll off! I get to roll again!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: No, I believe for contesting…
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, because if it was AC, it would be
+just enough. But–
+
+MATT: Right. I’m looking at contesting grapple
+checks here real fast.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah, learning.
+
+TRAVIS: (inaudible auctioneer voice)
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: That was Fjord’s other job.
+
+TRAVIS: As a manure salesman.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Doesn’t say as part of the rules. I’ll say,
+for the hell of it, let’s roll it one more time.
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+SAM: It’s a roll off!
+
+EVERYONE: Its a roll off!
+
+MARISHA: Dance battle!
+
+LIAM: Get back in there, Rocky!
+
+MARISHA: Ah– this one! Don’t fuck me, blue! No,
+that’s good, plus, my athletics, right?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: 16, thank you.
+
+MATT: Natural 18. This tiny little dwarf girl, her
+stout form still manages to pull your arm back
+
+from her mouth. The voice continues to
+billow outward.
+
+SAM: It’s because she is really a tentacle. She is
+part of him–
+
+MARISHA: Do I have a bonus action?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it was an attack, yeah. It was a
+grapple attack. You do.
+
+MARISHA: Can I try something else like that again,
+or do I just get an attack?
+
+MATT: I mean, what you want to do?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, my arm doesn’t work. I am going
+to–
+
+LAURA: Punch her in the face!
+
+LIAM: Knock her the fuck out!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to be like, fuck! I’m
+going to elbow her right in the temple and try and
+
+knock her out.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an attack.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 18. 24.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Right, 22, yes, 22. No, 24. I’m confused.
+Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: New characters.
+
+MARISHA: New characters, new characters.
+New character, who dis?
+
+Ah, yeah, okay, eight damage!
+
+MATT: Eight damage. Whack! As you smack her in the
+side of the head, her eyes loll back and she falls
+
+limp in your grasp. She’s unconscious.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+MATT: The singing immediately stops.
+
+LAURA: Oh, he is going to be so pissed!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, tiny dancer coming.
+
+MARISHA: That’s all. That ends my turn right? I’m
+holding this girl?
+
+MATT: You have your movement. You are holding her
+there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I’m holding her? Can I drag her back
+a bit? Into the woods.
+
+MATT: Okay, it’s half movement to drag her. That’s
+as far as you can get.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to be quiet. Can I support her
+head?
+
+MATT: As soon as the singing stops. (grunts) The
+toad looks over the shoulder and sees you dragging
+
+her back. What previously was this low, guttural
+growl becomes this bellowing scream of hatred.
+
+That ends your turn, Beau.
+
+LAURA: What are the odds you think that Yasha’s on
+this island and she’s going to come save us all?
+
+MATT: Caleb, your turn.
+
+LIAM: As soon as it starts roaring, I am
+surrounded, I have nowhere to go so I pull the
+
+diamond out, spin it, and the ice shards start to
+shoot and I pick it up and I throw it in his
+
+bellybutton.
+
+MATT: All right. You are in melee range with a
+creature doing a ranged spell attack, so go ahead
+
+and roll your attack. It has disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: That’s okay because if I move I am dicked.
+That’s not good. That’s terrible. The second one
+
+was so good though. That’s not great. That’s ten.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, as you’re scared, the sound
+of its screaming causes you to shake as you
+
+release the blast. Unfortunately, your fingers
+lose the hold of your diamond for a moment and you
+
+have to actually catch it. As you do, the spell
+dissipates and fumbles. Anything else on your
+
+turn, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to– Nope. I’m going to stay there
+and freeze. Freeze up. The cat’s a bird and she
+
+flies up straight.
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Warhorn.
+
+LAURA: Do something cool.
+
+SAM: I mean I can– seeing Caleb surrounded, Nott
+will leap on to the beast’s face and stab it in
+
+the neck.
+
+MATT: Which one, the toad?
+
+SAM: The big one.
+
+MATT: You will get an attack–
+
+SAM: I’ll disengage first.
+
+MATT Okay, so you disengage as a bonus action.
+Move over–
+
+LAURA: You knocked me off the roof.
+
+MATT: I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: She didn’t feel anything. She doesn’t have
+actual nerves.
+
+MATT: Exactly. As you push away from the imp as it
+tries to strike at you, seeing your friend in
+
+serious danger here, you dive into the shadows,
+leap into the air. Go ahead and roll an attack.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits. Go ahead and roll damage plus sneak
+attack, because Caleb is in range.
+
+SAM: Nine, ten, plus fury of the small, 12.
+
+MATT: All right. So 12 points of damage. As you
+drive the blade into the devil toad, you see it
+
+plunge right to the hilt and it begins to bleed
+from the wound but its attention is still focused
+
+on the unconscious dwarf being dragged off by the
+monk. But that was a pretty sizeable blow. That
+
+ends your turn I believe. Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, I have a question. Hexblade’s
+Curse. If I do another bonus action, does
+
+Hexblade’s Curse keep going? It doesn’t say– it
+says if the curse ends early or the target dies
+
+or you die or you’re incapacitated, it drops but
+nothing else.
+
+MATT: Does it say it’s concentration?
+
+TRAVIS: It doesn’t say.
+
+MATT: Then I would say it’s not concentration
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking A. With my bonus action, can I
+cast Wrathful Smite?
+
+MATT: Yes you may.
+
+TRAVIS: May I charge el toad from hell-o?
+
+MATT: That you can. As you run through the space
+between that large rock and the exterior of the
+
+ruined building, your large blade, water drifts
+off of it behind. It seems to almost perpetually
+
+emanate its own source of water. You arc with the
+blade forward. Go ahead and make your strike.
+
+TRAVIS: 17 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TRAVIS: Beautiful. This is a 1d8.
+
+MATT: Is it one-handed, or are you holding it with
+two hands?
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t really say.
+
+MATT: You did not.
+
+TRAVIS: So I’ll go with the lower of the two. 1d8
+plus four. 12 plus a 1d6 psychic damage and he has
+
+to make–
+
+MATT: Was it plus four, right?
+
+TRAVIS: It is plus four.
+
+MATT: Your charisma’s plus four. Then you get a
+plus two because of your Hex, so technically it’s
+
+16. Sorry, 14.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s see, 1d6 psychic damage, which is an
+additional one for 15. He makes a wisdom saving
+
+throw or he’s frightened until the end of the
+spell.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 12. What’s the DC?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I think that’s lower than my 14. I’ve
+got a spell save DC, y'all!
+
+MATT: As you rush through the air and the blade
+arcs, the water seems to glow as it comes off,
+
+like it becomes phosphorescent and as he impacts
+the blade into the side of the demon toad, there’s
+
+a flash of light and what’s left behind is the
+scar that you’ve cut through its body is now
+
+burning with this reminiscent ember where you just
+carved through its hide. It looks down at you,
+
+averts its gaze from the monk for a second, and
+goes (confused snarling). For a split second, for
+
+the first time, you see fear in its red burning
+eyes.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes!
+
+MATT: How long does that last?
+
+TRAVIS: It lasts until he can make a wisdom check
+against the spell save DC.
+
+MATT: Again? Okay. So he has disadvantage on
+attacks and cannot move closer towards you.
+
+MARISHA: Amazing.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, he’s frightened.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. The imps are up now.
+This imp here is going to turn around and dart
+
+towards the cleric who ran off to the side and
+that one’s going to attack Caleb. Caleb, that is
+
+going to be a 12 to hit?
+
+LIAM: Deffo.
+
+MATT: That hits?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you suffer, as the stinger hits
+you, for seven points of piercing damage. I need
+
+you to make a constitution saving throw, please.
+
+SAM: No problem.
+
+LIAM: That’s a 12.
+
+MATT: A 12 succeeds. So you only suffer five
+points of poison damage.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is unconscious on the ground.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: The other imp attacking you, Jester. That is
+going to be a natural 19. Pretty sure that hits
+
+you at 24. You take six points of piercing damage
+and I need you to make a constitution saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: Jesus, these things are so vicious.
+
+SAM: And you lose all your gold.
+
+LAURA: God (angry muttering)– seven.
+
+LIAM: Jeez, this is going south guys.
+
+MATT: Actually, that’s not too bad. Six points of
+poison damage.
+
+LAURA: So 12 total?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: All right, that’s going to end the imps’
+turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: (groaning) Shit.
+
+LIAM and SAM: Get her done.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get a little closer, I’m
+going to start running towards the ruins.
+
+MATT: That’s 30 feet there.
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do it. I’m going to look at the
+imp and I’m, in Infernal, I’m going to say, to
+
+just– terrible: There’s nothing but death for you
+here. I’m going to attack Vicious Mockery on him
+
+and show him the bottom card.
+
+SAM: Are you a bard?! What the fuck?
+
+MATT: Variant tiefling.
+
+TALIESIN: I have to learn some– Yeah, that’s a–
+
+MATT: A wisdom saving throw?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a no with a seven, I’m
+pretty sure.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m trying to figure out how this works
+but–
+
+LIAM: By the way, when Caleb went down those four
+balls of light disappeared.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not a lot, but that’s four points
+of psychic damage and he has disadvantage on the
+
+next attack roll it makes.
+
+MATT: All righty, good to know.
+
+TALIESIN: That was just my bonus action, I’m going
+to use my action–
+
+MATT: Vicious Mockery is an action.
+
+TALIESIN: No that’s a– it is an action, you’re
+right. That’s what I’ve got right now. Just trying
+
+to get its attention.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends your turn. It is now Kylre’s
+turn who is– (laughs) oh man, yeah. He was about
+
+to go right after Beau, but he’s scared of you and
+cannot move closer towards you. He’s going to take
+
+a swing at Nott. He’s like (panicked muttering)
+and try to squash the small thing right there,
+
+with disadvantage. That is 16.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: 16’s your armor class? That hits. 11 points
+of piercing damage as the claw strikes out at you,
+
+and I need you to make a constitution saving
+throw.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god. We’re not doing well.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten is just what you needed to succeed. The
+poison from the claws of the toad does not set
+
+into your system.
+
+TRAVIS: I can’t believe this shit.
+
+MARISHA: I know. Who’s down? You’re down?
+
+TALIESIN: He’s the only one who’s down but we’re
+all hurt.
+
+LAURA: And I’ve got a thing right in front of me
+so I can’t–
+
+MATT: Kylre’s going to– out of sheer panic now
+from you– try to flee. So he’s going to leap and
+
+land over here. You do both get attacks of
+opportunity on the toad. Would not have fled
+
+except for that fear effect. He’s like, “Fuck, I
+got to run.”
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TRAVIS: 18.
+
+MATT: Hits.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I grab the sword with two hands,
+please?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+SAM: Eight points.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. You added sneak
+attack to that, right?
+
+SAM: Why do I get sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Because he is next to it.
+
+SAM: All right. 11 points.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. Nice.
+
+TRAVIS: 11 points of damage, and does that trigger
+another psychic attack?
+
+MATT: How does the effect on that work?
+
+TRAVIS: It says the next time you hit with a
+melee weapon attack during the spell’s duration
+
+your attack deals an extra 1d6.
+
+MATT: Yes, it does.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. So that’s 11 plus five, so 16?
+
+MATT: 16 points of damage. All righty.
+
+TRAVIS: Concentration. Can’t use something else.
+Committed.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a bitch, isn’t it? Concentration’s a
+bitch.
+
+MATT: As an action it has to try and save against
+the spell, ending the effect. Damn, that’s crazy.
+
+All righty, so that being the case, that’s going
+to end Kylre’s turn. Lands, looks over at you
+
+hiding behind the tree–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god, no.
+
+MATT: Toya, death saving throw. That’s a success.
+All righty, that brings us to Beau and Jester.
+
+What are you guys doing, Beau and Jester?
+
+LAURA: You can go first this time.
+
+MARISHA: I can go first? Who am I next to? Who’s
+Beau next to?
+
+MATT: You’re right here, next to Toya.
+
+MARISHA: And Fjord is in between… I’m too far
+away from everything.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Can I run– I want to pick her up–
+
+MATT: It’s half movement with her if you bring
+her.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fair. No, I’m sorry. I want to
+move this way towards Molly.
+
+MATT: Okay. Double move?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, and I’ll try and get behind– I’ve
+got a 40-foot movement.
+
+MATT: That’s right. So you can get there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Do I have any type of bonus action
+or anything?
+
+MATT: You have your bonus action.
+
+MARISHA: Can I yell, Kylre! And I want to hold
+up the girl and be like, come get her!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck, man.
+
+MATT: Kylre, between the trees and being
+frightened of Fjord, doesn’t seem to notice you at
+
+the moment. He’s currently focused on the fear
+effect.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I tried.
+
+MATT: That’s all good. That ends your turn.
+Jester?
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to cast– fuck– Cure
+Wounds on myself.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Glad you didn’t do Detect Evil?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Oh, that’s good! Nine points of
+damage healed. Okay. Which is going to go away as
+
+soon as I turn and run away from the imp towards
+Fjord, around the trees so that the frog guy
+
+doesn’t get an attack on me.
+
+MATT: Well, you’re still in his combat range,
+actually. He has a ten-foot range.
+
+LIAM: Stay. Maybe he’ll be distracted by fear.
+
+MATT: He does have disadvantage on the attacks
+because of the fear effect, so that’s helpful. Do
+
+you want to run through this way?
+
+LAURA: I guess, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: He can’t follow you.
+
+MATT: 30, that puts you there. Both the imp and
+Kylre get an–
+
+TALIESIN: Both have disadvantage.
+
+MATT: The imp because…
+
+TALIESIN: Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right, yeah. That’s right.
+
+TALIESIN: Part of the plan!
+
+LIAM: Damn. We’re in a tight spot.
+
+MATT: That Vicious Mockery brings the imp’s attack
+down to a nine, so the stinger whips past you.
+
+Kylre’s giant claw reaches out and tries to catch
+you as you run past. Natural 20 and a three.
+
+(relieved noises)
+
+MATT: That puts you at a nine, which I’m pretty
+sure misses. As you rush past, you hear the (boom)
+
+of the ground behind you and bits of dirt and rock
+throw up, tapping the back of your head from the
+
+impact of Kylre’s grasp hitting the ground.
+
+LAURA: I’m just running away saying: Shit, shit,
+shit!
+
+MATT: That ends your turn?
+
+LAURA: I guess so.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Caleb. I need you to make
+a death saving throw.
+
+LIAM: Success.
+
+MATT: Okay, that’s one success in that. Nott.
+
+SAM: There is an imp still in front of us?
+
+MATT: Yes. There is an imp that just knocked Caleb
+to the ground.
+
+LIAM: He’s going to fuck me up.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will just shoot him with an arrow.
+I’m like ten feet away?
+
+MATT: Yeah. 15 feet from him.
+
+SAM: 15 feet. I’ll draw and shoot.
+
+MATT: You pull out your hand crossbow.
+
+SAM: Oh boy, ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? That does not hit, unfortunately. It
+ducks out of the way.
+
+SAM: And then I will–
+
+TALIESIN: You have so few actions.
+
+SAM: I really do. I will cover Caleb’s body with
+mine.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that work?
+
+SAM: We’ll see.
+
+MATT: You move onto Caleb’s space and use your
+body as a shield. Okay, that ends Nott’s turn.
+
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s try to finish this motherfucker off.
+I run right past Jester as she’s going, “Shit, shit!”
+
+MATT: 30 is as close as you can get right there.
+
+TRAVIS: Which is not in melee. Damn! Eldritch
+Blast!
+
+MATT: You are in its melee range, which means
+you’ll have disadvantage on Eldritch Blast.
+
+Knowing that, you can take a step back.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll take one back.
+
+LIAM: Travis wouldn’t, but Fjord would know.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a 24.
+
+MATT: That definitely hits. Is it a natural 18?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a 17. Plus six, 23. Sorry. That is
+eight plus four plus two. 12, 14, and the–
+
+MATT: Don’t do additional psychic damage, it has
+to be a melee weapon to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you. 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage. All righty. Fjord, how
+do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit! I run up. Stop. Realize how long
+its arms are. Flip the sword over. Look into the
+
+pommel, and fire it into his back, line him up.
+
+MATT: As the creature pulls its jammed hand out of
+the ground after trying to strike at Jester, it
+
+turns around to watch as you approach, and as you
+hold the pommel outward, the blast, lighting up its
+
+jaw, its eyes go to a bright pink with fear as it
+recoils from the blast. As it hits, the blast
+
+seems to be absorbed by its blubberous form. This
+crack begins to (cracking) across its body. It’s
+
+trying to hold itself together, and the scales
+begin to turn to ash. Like the inside of it
+
+burning out like the end of a cigarette, the
+embers glowing, incinerating the interior of its
+
+body as it slowly tries to hold its body together.
+It falls to its knees and then slowly the rest of
+
+its body tumbles away into ash and dust.
+
+TALIESIN: There is no body?
+
+MATT: The whole body doesn’t burn away.
+
+TALIESIN: We need a body!
+
+MATT: The wound where it impacted is burned up at
+this point.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh thank god. Is that imp still there?
+Is the imp still active?
+
+MATT: Two imps are still active, yes. That ends
+your turn, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That imp is going to go after Nott, who is
+currently protecting the body.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to Blood Maledict. I’m going
+to Curse of the Eyeless on that imp.
+
+MATT: Which one, the one that is attacking Nott?
+
+TALIESIN: The one that is attacking Nott.
+
+MATT: Okay, so disadvantage on that one. That puts
+it at 14.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: As its eyes cloud over, it swings with its
+stinger and you feel it just barely hit the tip of
+
+your hood and pull it back. But no impact from the
+stinger. One will attack you, Fjord. That is an 18.
+
+TRAVIS: That will hit.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it hits.
+
+TRAVIS: You motherfucker.
+
+MATT: You suffer seven points of piercing damage,
+and I need you to roll a constitution saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: Copy that.
+
+MARISHA: Big money! That’s not big money!
+
+TRAVIS: That is not big money. I’m pretty sure
+that is low, because that is a two. Yeah, that’s a six.
+
+MATT: 3d6 of poison damage, that is 14 points of
+poison damage.
+
+LAURA: Are you still alive?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I’m unconscious.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh for fuck’s sake.
+
+SAM: From an imp?
+
+MATT: That stinger is no joke, man.
+
+LAURA: Wouldn’t that be funny if we killed the
+thing and then died from the imps? That would be
+
+so funny.
+
+MATT: After the creature that summoned it is gone,
+the imp turns and as it runs toward you, you try
+
+and prepare, and its stinger pushes past your
+leather armor and pierces right through your
+
+sternum and poison hits the inside of your system,
+right where the heart and lungs are and you feel
+
+them seize up. Your eyes and sight go to darkness.
+That ends both imps’ goes. Molly, you are up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m running at the closest imp. Can I
+get there?
+
+MATT: You can get there.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, I’m going to take two
+swings.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: For fuck’s sake. Nope. That was a ten.
+
+MATT: No. You try and swing, the blind rage in
+your eyes, but the imp whose eyesight you had
+
+cursed, hearing you approaching, manages to just
+get out of your range. Sorry man, that sucks. All
+
+right, that brings us to Beau and Jester’s turn.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to turn and say: Oh, help me,
+Traveler! I’m going to cast Word of Radiance.
+
+SAM: It’s pronounced “verd.”
+
+LAURA: Which will hit both of the imps with 1d6
+radiant damage.
+
+MATT: What is the spell?
+
+LAURA: It’s Word of Radiance. Each creature of my
+choice I can see must succeed on a constitution
+
+saving throw.
+
+MATT: Constitution saving throw? Thank you.
+
+LAURA: Of 13.
+
+MATT: Five and 16. The one over Fjord succeeds,
+the one over Nott does not. What does it do?
+
+LAURA: 1d6 radiant. Six damage!
+
+MATT: Six points of damage to the one over Nott?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That’s the one that someone damaged.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s the one he cursed.
+
+MATT: Yeah, with Vicious Mockery. That’s enough to
+do it. This bright, whitish-blue light begins to
+
+burn up its body. As it tries to fly away, you
+watch its body burn away like flash paper.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: That is cool.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you bonus action anybody?
+
+LAURA: That was an action.
+
+TALIESIN: Stabilize someone?
+
+MATT: No, that’s a feat.
+
+LAURA: As a bonus can I– I don’t even have
+a healing potion.
+
+TRAVIS: There is one on the map.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to run over to– oh shit, the imp
+is still over top of Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Yes, that’s the threat.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to make my illusion jump down and
+start charging at the imp over Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s smart.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. That brings us to
+Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Once again, there is no way I can break
+through the grounds and get to this imp, is there?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: You could dash.
+
+LIAM: You can get there and draw attention.
+
+TRAVIS: How many imps are left?
+
+TALIESIN and MATT: One.
+
+MARISHA: I gave my healer’s kit to her, so there’s
+nothing I can do to try and bring the girl back?
+
+LIAM: You can soak up damage.
+
+TALIESIN: She has got two more rounds regardless.
+
+MARISHA: She does. She’s already saved one.
+
+MATT: Actually I need to make another. Okay,
+success.
+
+TALIESIN: Yay!
+
+MARISHA: Damn, there’s not a lot I can do. I guess
+I’ll run up. Just there. Can I pick up a rock and
+
+throw a rock and be like: Get! Get on!
+
+MATT: Sure, we’ll call it an improvised weapon.
+
+MARISHA: Get!
+
+MATT: You’re not proficient. So go ahead and roll
+a straight attack roll.
+
+LIAM: In the dark.
+
+MATT: Yes, with disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: Four. 14. I guess that’s a four. So ten.
+
+MATT: You hear it clatter against a tree in the
+distance.
+
+MARISHA: Yah! Yah!
+
+TRAVIS: Damn trash pandas, get out of here!
+
+MATT: Caleb, make another death saving throw,
+please.
+
+TALIESIN: How are you doing, man?
+
+LIAM: That’s a success.
+
+MATT: Two successes. All righty. Nott.
+
+SAM: Okay, with one hand I will try to cover the
+bleeding wounds of Caleb, and with the other hand,
+
+not even looking, I’ll just fire my crossbow at
+the other–
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: At the other imp-y thing.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go for it.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+MATT: That’s what happens when you don’t look!
+
+SAM: I should’ve looked!
+
+MATT: All right. Roll one more attack roll for me,
+please.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: That’s a six.
+
+MATT: Six? You hear a (metallic sound) across your
+shield as a bolt from a hand crossbow almost hits
+
+you, Jester.
+
+SAM: I’m blinded by tears!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: This is– oh man, one imp is going to
+kill us all. One fucking imp.
+
+MATT: All right. Nott, does that end your turn?
+
+SAM: I mean, I can’t do anything. I can run over
+to the other thing, but I can’t do anything, so–
+
+TALIESIN: We have to stabilise Fjord, is what
+we’ve got to do.
+
+SAM: And my boy–
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb? Caleb’s doing okay.
+
+LIAM: I have two successes. Not that you know
+that.
+
+SAM: I don’t know that, but… I’m just staying.
+
+MATT: Fjord, I need you to make a death saving
+throw. It’s been a long time since you’ve had to
+
+make one of these in the game.
+
+TRAVIS: Three.
+
+MATT: That’s a fail. All righty.
+
+MARISHA: Is that your first fail?
+
+MATT: Top of the round. The imp– I’m going to
+make a perception check for that imp. That’s not
+
+good enough. The imp is going to go ahead and fly
+over and attempt to take a swing at your duplicity
+
+illusion.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good.
+
+MATT: Okay. Does anything happen when the illusion
+is hit?
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t say! It just says for the
+duration you can cast spells as though you were in
+
+the illusion’s space.
+
+MATT: Let me check just in case.
+
+LAURA: I have advantage on attack rolls against
+the creature if we’re both within five feet of
+
+each other.
+
+MATT: Okay, yes. So just an illusion. So it
+strikes and its stinger passes through with no
+
+effect and it seems confused and figures it out.
+So now it knows that it’s an illusion, but it
+
+wasted its attack that round. Illusions come in
+handy for that. All right, that ends their turn.
+
+Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m running right at it.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s try some different dice here.
+
+For fuck’s sake! I’ve got to stop rolling that
+die. This is– yeah, no.
+
+LAURA: Both of them fucked you again.
+
+TALIESIN: 11?
+
+MATT: 11 does not hit. It’s too quick. You swing
+twice more and it’s doing figure-eights around
+
+your blades. It’s frustrating the shit out of
+you.
+
+LAURA: Poor Molly. His arms are getting so tired
+swinging both those blades.
+
+TALIESIN: This is so embarrassing.
+
+LIAM: The dice don’t give a shit–
+
+MATT: All right. Toya–
+
+TALIESIN: This is so embarrassing.
+
+MATT: –succeeds on her third death saving throw
+and stabilizes. No, she’s stabilised. A natural 20
+
+is what we’d need to see for the one. All right,
+so that brings us to Beau and Jester.
+
+LAURA: Do you want to attack the imp?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll– yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you get advantage because I’m engaged
+with it?
+
+MATT: No. It doesn’t work that way.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not a rogue.
+
+MATT: That’s right.
+
+MARISHA: So seeing everyone dodge this thing, I’m
+just like–
+
+MATT: I mean, if you’re flanking it, I’ll allow
+advantage on the attack. Which is like, as long as
+
+you’re on the complete opposite side of the foe–
+
+TRAVIS: There is a convention around the imp right
+now.
+
+MATT: So you can– I’ll say you can get
+advantage.
+
+LIAM: Everyone’s like, “Hey, hey, hey!”
+
+MATT: Essentially, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Ugh, look at it scoot! God!
+
+MATT: So yeah, you can if you want to.
+
+MARISHA: So I’m just going to run up and be like,
+stupid! I’m going to try and stomp it.
+
+MATT: So you’re going to try and knock it to the
+ground and stomp on it, is that what you’re doing?
+
+Because it’s flying in the air. All right, first
+strike. So attack with advantage.
+
+LIAM: It’s like that video from Ireland. Catch
+it, daddy!
+
+MARISHA: With advantage, right? That hits. 15,
+natural. With my two-handed staff?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Wait. I’ve already hit. Forget that.
+Forget that! Eight, so 12 damage.
+
+MATT: All right, so the first attack crushes the
+imp and it hits the ground, the wings go limp and
+
+it’s dead, but you still (yells) and stomp down,
+just crushing it more and more. And then its body
+
+eventually just burns away into ash. So all the
+threats have been neutralised and you now have two
+
+friends that are bleeding out.
+
+LAURA: Okay, then I’m going to run over to Fjord
+and cast Cure Wounds on him so he wakes up.
+
+MATT: You come back to consciousness.
+
+LAURA: With five hit points.
+
+SAM: I will try to stabilise Caleb using no–
+
+MATT: Caleb, I need you to make a death save.
+
+LIAM: Death save? Fail.
+
+MATT: All righty. Make a medicine check.
+
+SAM: Natural 20. And I will do mouth-to-mouth.
+
+MATT: I will say for the purposes of this, you
+watch as Nott pulls the porcelain mask back and
+
+just gives Caleb the most terrifying
+mouth-to-mouth you’ve ever seen. Caleb, the
+
+darkness fades and you come to consciousness. The
+first things you notice are the cold temperature,
+
+the taste of iron in your mouth, and the vision of
+Nott pulling away from you like a terrifying
+
+Nosferatu.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh Jesus! Like Willem Dafoe as–
+
+LIAM: Caleb goes (yelps), and I cast Dancing
+Lights into the goblin and light her up! Ah!
+
+TRAVIS: Even worse.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Temporarily blinded.
+
+LIAM: What the hell happened?
+
+MARISHA: It’s like 2am and the lights come on at
+the club.
+
+SAM: Ugh, that’s what she looked like?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh man, I start dancing around in a circle
+with my illusion. We did it, guys!
+
+MATT: You watch as two Jesters start doing a
+little skip.
+
+MARISHA: I immediately run to Toya.
+
+TALIESIN: I was about to say, I’m going to run to
+Toya and pick her up. I’ve got her. I’ve got her.
+
+MARISHA: Do you– I’ve got her. I could hold her,
+though.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got her.
+
+MARISHA: Why–
+
+TALIESIN: Because you were the last face she saw?
+I should probably be the first. Thank you. You did
+
+the right thing. You don’t need to be the first
+thing she sees. She’ll just start screaming all
+
+over again. Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything of the toad?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to need him.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah. I want to go over and start
+searching his body.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought it burned away, no?
+
+MATT: A large part of the torso just burned away.
+The inside is partially burned out to embers in
+
+the blast, but there’s still probably 60 percent
+of the body remaining.
+
+LIAM: DM, am I at one hit point at this moment? It
+was zero.
+
+MATT: You would be at one hit point when you come
+to consciousness. I’m giving you that because of
+
+the natural 20. Any other roll, you would just be
+stabilised.
+
+LIAM: True love’s kiss.
+
+MATT: Exactly. (laughs)
+
+LAURA: Investigation or perception?
+
+MATT: This is investigation, because you’re poring
+through the–
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+MATT: 14. You find a small pouch of flesh, like a
+little hiding pouch that you kind of reach in a
+
+little bit and it has kind of a mucus-y liquid on
+the inside. As you reach in, your fingers find
+
+what appear to be a few small stones you can feel
+at the tip of your fingers. Do you pull them out?
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You pull it out. It’s a handful of jewels.
+Looks like rings, necklaces. There’s actually a
+
+few stolen pieces of jewelry that are in the pouch
+as well as a few coin.
+
+LAURA: What? This is awesome. Here, Fjord, I found
+a cloister of seamen for you.
+
+TRAVIS: What is it? What did you give me? What is
+this?
+
+LAURA: It’s a bag of stuff that I think you will
+like. I already removed all the fancy stuff from
+
+it though.
+
+SAM: So it’s just gooey flesh?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s definitely a cloister. It’s a
+nu-gget.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s foul.
+
+MATT: But other than that, it is devoid of any
+other items or objects and it looks like that was
+
+its running fund.
+
+LAURA: Whoa! I put all of the jewels on my
+fingers.
+
+MATT: They’re still slick but easy to put on
+because they’re lubricated.
+
+LAURA: Nott, look at me.
+
+SAM: Those are very nice.
+
+LAURA: Aren’t these pretty rocks?
+
+SAM: They are very pretty, yes. Where did you find
+them?
+
+LAURA: On the bag.
+
+SAM: On the bag? Can I have one?
+
+LAURA: Yes, but first, can I use a ritual spell?
+Does that work against– Yeah. I can do ritual spells?
+
+MATT: You can do ritual spells and it won’t take a
+spell slot, just takes ten minutes more of casting
+
+time to do it.
+
+LAURA: Can I Detect Magic on it?
+
+MATT: You may. So you take a little bit of time
+concentrating on it. At the end of the spell, you
+
+send out your extended consciousness, but they do
+not resonate anything magical.
+
+LAURA: Hmm, they’re just plain rings, but they’re
+very pretty.
+
+MATT: They are pretty.
+
+MARISHA: What are you going to do with the girl?
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) Get her back home.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s home for a traveling circus?
+
+SAM: What if she’s evil?
+
+TALIESIN: I know. We’re going to have a talk.
+
+LAURA: We should bring her to the–
+
+SAM: Authorities.
+
+LAURA: So that she can defend us. So that she can
+tell everyone that the fiend was bad.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know if she feels that way.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know if she feels that way
+either, but although– it’s going to take some
+
+time, I think. And also, we’re going to need the
+body, and honestly, only one of us was here. For
+
+those at home, I’m pointing at Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, why was he the only one?
+
+TALIESIN: Because the rest of us are under
+arrest.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s very true.
+
+TALIESIN: So congratulations on single-handedly
+defeating the creature that killed several guards.
+
+I’m sure you will be well-rewarded and
+compensated.
+
+LAURA: You are a very powerful wizard.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you know, ain’t nothing. (coughs)
+(high-pitched) Oh!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s how I feel.
+
+LAURA: Can I use my healing kit and help heal him?
+Does that work, or does it just bring somebody
+
+back to consciousness?
+
+MATT: It just helps stabilise. There’s a feat you
+can take that makes it do more.
+
+LAURA: Oh really? Okay, cool.
+
+LIAM: Do you have any anything left in you?
+
+LAURA: I got nothing.
+
+LIAM: Well, okay.
+
+LAURA: I can heal you in the morning.
+
+LIAM: Or we could just sit here for a bit and I
+could catch my breath, I think.
+
+LAURA: We can rest for 30 minutes or an hour or
+so.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s take a rest.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys sit here in the
+quiet, you can hear the crickets now; the rest of
+
+the sound of the forest has fallen away and the
+din of the battle has vanished. The moonlight gets
+
+a bit brighter as the moon climbs higher in the
+sky. And you all kind of look around at each
+
+other. Through this haphazard series of events
+you’ve come to assemble a skillset that seems to
+
+overlap pretty well. And hopefully it’s enough to
+clear your name. But we’ll find that out next
+
+week. So we’re going to end the episode. We’ll be
+back to continue that thread next Thursday.
+
+MARISHA: But I want to, like, keep going.
+
+MATT: I know, but it’s 10:45!
+
+LAURA: I would just like to say that as we’re
+resting there, I’m closing my eyes and keeping a
+
+hand down close to Nott with my rings on my
+fingers.
+
+SAM: I’m going to try to take one off.
+
+MATT: Sleight of hand.
+
+SAM: Eight– 26.
+
+MATT: I don’t even think you have high enough
+perception at all. You have a very nice–
+
+LAURA: It was all the mucus on the ring.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: I’m just going to say, I did it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I’m so proud of you.
+
+MATT: Aw. And we’ll leave it at that. All right,
+thank you guys so much for watching. I’m excited
+
+to continue this next week.
+
+LIAM: Man, I got the full wizard experience
+tonight.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you did!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Oh man. Well done, that’s your first boss
+fight of the campaign!
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god!
+
+TALIESIN: That was so unpleasant.
+
+LAURA: Good job, Fjord!
+
+MATT: Two of you went down.
+
+MARISHA: Does this mean we level up?
+
+MATT: Well, because we are doing milestone
+leveling with this campaign–
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+MATT: That means there’s no experience points, but
+at the end of each major story beat,
+
+like a big moment that I see fit, then everyone
+will level up together.
+
+MARISHA: So do you see fit?
+
+MATT: I will see fit when this arc concludes, so
+end of next episode, probably, everyone’s going to
+
+hit level three. So start thinking about– for
+those of you who have to choose a path, think
+
+about what you want to do if you haven’t already.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I’m going to multiclass.
+
+LIAM: Seven times.
+
+TALIESIN: Master of none.
+
+MATT: Not even passable. (laughs) All right, thank
+you guys so much for watching. Thank you again,
+
+D&D Beyond, for being our awesome partner and
+sponsor for the leg of this campaign. Hope you all
+
+have a wonderful weekend, and is it Thursday yet?
+Have a good night.
+
+TRAVIS: We lived!
+
+MARISHA: We lived! Episode three!
+
+MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Welcome. Thank you for joining us. Before we
+jump in to tonight’s episode, we’re going to go ahead
+
+and do some quick announcements. First and
+foremost, our returning sponsor and long-time
+
+partner for this campaign’s beginning, on into the
+foreseeable future, hopefully: D&D Beyond. They’ve
+
+been awesome. Sam, do you have a few words you
+want to say?
+
+SAM: Guys, hi! Sam Riegel, here. It’s award
+season, so tonight I’m going to announce the D&D
+
+Beyond Awards. The envelope, please!
+
+TRAVIS: Paper cut.
+
+SAM: Okay, nervous, really nervous. There’s
+nothing in here. Best discount codes for books in
+
+the D&D Beyond store? The winner is: beginnings.
+“Beginnings” is the discount code! Best URL on the
+
+entire internet? The winner is: DNDBeyond.com!
+Best picture–
+
+LAURA: This is so stupid.
+
+SAM: La La Land. It’s Moonlight.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Old jokes.
+
+SAM: Best way to build a Blood Hunter? Activate
+Critical Role content on DNDBeyond.com! Best
+
+supporting actor? Sam Riegel. Best job opening at
+a D&D-related internet company? Front-End
+
+Developer. I guess they’re looking for a front-end
+developer. Someone will put a URL somewhere on here.
+
+MATT: At careers.com is where you can go to the
+Careers tab.
+
+SAM: Thank you, D&D Beyond, for being our
+official– What are they calling it?
+
+LAURA: Sponsor?
+
+SAM: No, not sponsor. They’re the official tool
+set of Critical Role.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s cool.
+
+TRAVIS: Well done! Is that the first annual–
+
+SAM: The first annual awards show. What should we
+call them? Not the Oscars. The Critters. No. The Sponsees.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, The Sponsees. That’s fancy.
+
+LIAM: That was strangely manic and desperate.
+
+MARISHA: Isn’t every awards show, though?
+
+LIAM: Did you literally write that in the bathroom
+six minutes ago?
+
+SAM: For sure.
+
+MATT: I feel like Kendrick Lamar should’ve won
+at least two of those, but…
+
+Thank you, Sam. Thank you, D&D Beyond. You
+can find them on DNDbeyond.com. That’s
+
+DNDbeyond.com. Next up, based on tonight’s
+episode, we’ll have next Tuesday, at 7:00PM
+
+Pacific Time, here on Twitch and Alpha, Talks
+Machina, where members of the cast will come, with
+
+our fantastic Brian W. Foster, to discuss what
+transpires tonight. You get to ask questions and
+
+submit them, so do so. Asinine Wisdom, next week
+on Geek & Sundry Twitch, has a special guest. I
+
+believe our very own Sam Riegel will be there.
+
+SAM: Oh, god.
+
+LAURA: You’re actually doing something else on the
+internet?
+
+SAM: I always do shows on Geek & Sundry, and this
+is no change. What’s the show called again?
+
+MATT: Asinine Wisdom. It’s at 9:00PM on Tuesday,
+Pacific Time, after Talks Machina. A double-dose
+
+of Sam Riegel, which is a lot. We have a new show
+coming up here, featuring the Weave RPG, from The
+
+Monocle Society, called Weave. That’ll be showing
+next Wednesday night at 9:30 Pacific Standard
+
+Time, here on the Twitch Channel. Check it out
+then. It has a great cast of Amy Dallen, Gina
+
+DeVivo, Whitney Moore, Becca Scott, and Stef
+Woodward, so check it out! I hope you like it.
+
+Weave is really awesome. I’m really excited to see
+that. The podcast of episode three last week
+
+released today, so if you missed the last episode,
+or have friends who have been trying to keep up with the
+
+podcast, last week’s episode is available for
+download. Once again, we have issue number four of
+
+Critical Role: Vox Machina Origins. It’s
+available for download digitally, on Comixology,
+
+the Dark Horse app, and all other places where
+fine digital comic books are sold.
+
+TRAVIS: Go get it, rate it, love it. Show us that
+you’re reading it.
+
+LIAM: Burn it. Not the book, Laura’s die.
+
+SAM: I’ve got to help her choose her dice.
+
+MATT: No! Why would you do that? You know better!
+
+SAM: I’ve already cursed two of them.
+
+LAURA: They’re out. All the ones that got selected
+tonight are shades of pinks, purples and blues and
+
+I think it’s lovely.
+
+MATT: It’s like watching a video of guys putting
+their hands in alligator mouths. Like, why would
+
+you do that? It’s entertaining for us, but why
+would you do that? Once again, our fantastic
+
+charity, 826LA. If you get the opportunity to
+either give and help out or donate your time to
+
+help teach any of their fantastic classes to help
+children learn creative writing in environments
+
+where it’s hard to find that type of tutelage.
+It’s a great program. Check it out at your local
+
+826 chapter and see if you can help out.
+
+MARISHA: Tell them you want to run a D&D game for
+them.
+
+MATT: I think that’s it.
+
+LAURA: That was so fast, though!
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+SAM: The comic book is out.
+
+LAURA: What about our appearances coming up?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to be at BAK-Anime this weekend.
+Two days only in Bakersfield, California. I will
+
+talk and I will go out in public.
+
+LAURA: Me and Travis–
+
+TRAVIS: Travis and I–
+
+LAURA: Travis and I are going to be at Emerald
+City Comic Con the first weekend in March.
+
+MATT: I’ll be at Lexington Comic and Toy Con in
+Lexington, Kentucky. That’s March 9th to the 11th.
+
+I’ll be at Otafest in Calgary, up north, May 18th
+to the 20th.
+
+TRAVIS: Keep it within a few months, for the love of–
+
+MATT: And A-Kon in Texas, June 7th to the 10th. If
+you are anywhere near those regions. I’ve said
+
+before, I’m going to take this off the sheet for
+the future. We’ve said that a lot now. Hey, it’s
+
+not my job to update that sheet. Anyway guys, I’ll
+remember this.
+
+MARISHA: You should go check out Good Fortnight
+Kevin on Alpha because it’s a morning show and
+
+it’s funny. It’s dumb and it’s super meta.
+
+MATT: Super meta funny dumb show. All right. It
+appears that the dice have been culled.
+
+LAURA: We’re on the last one, so we’re solid.
+
+MATT: Then let’s go ahead and dive into tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Last we left off, our group of
+adventurers had found their various individual
+
+fates come together here in the city of
+Trostenwald, where they had attended a carnival
+
+that had blown into town, had watched a horrible
+occurrence happen where one of the older attendees
+
+transformed into this terrifying zombie creature.
+Upon defeating it, you were all put under
+
+investigation as possible culprits for the reason
+that it occurred. In trying to wander the city to
+
+investigate and try and clear your name, you
+eventually found that there was a fiend hiding
+
+amongst these carnival workers. This large
+devil-like toad creature, which through some
+
+research you had found to actually be called a
+nergaliid, had killed two more of the guards,
+
+leaving you to fend with their transformed forms,
+and then fled deep into the center of the Ustaloch Lake.
+
+(clattering off-camera)
+
+MATT: Thank you for the punctuation. Upon
+gathering your supplies after a night’s rest, you
+
+managed to, through the trade of a bottle of wine, get
+passage across the lake onto the central island,
+
+which at one time housed the abode of a witch that
+had long collapsed. Waiting for nightfall, you
+
+approached the center of the grove that existed there on the
+island and found near this ruin this same fiendish
+
+nergaliid, as well as Toya, the 12-year-old dwarf
+girl who had been affixed to him for the
+
+performances in the carnival. You did battle with
+this large fiendish entity who summoned a cluster
+
+of imps and managed to knock a few of you pretty
+heavily to the ground before you finished it off.
+
+We left off as you all were finishing licking your
+wounds, catching your breath, and now as the
+
+moonlit night gets its darkest in the sky, you
+figure out what the next step is in gathering means
+
+of absolving yourselves of suspicion. As you’ve
+all now taken a moment to yourselves, you can hear
+
+the sound of the nearby crickets getting more and
+more deafening as the silence crawls over the
+
+center of the lake. Toya, the young girl, still
+lies unconscious. The remains of the devil toad,
+
+still partially burnt from the final blow
+delivered by Fjord, are mostly intact above its
+
+shoulders, head, and its legs. What would you like
+to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Ow. We’re all fucked up.
+
+LAURA: Does anybody need any healing?
+
+SAM: Oh, are you alive right now?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re up. Just barely.
+
+LAURA: You need some?
+
+LIAM: I’m really shabby at the moment.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s too bad because I don’t have any
+spells left.
+
+LIAM: That’s good. Let’s go back and talk to the
+cops.
+
+LAURA: Should we do something with this body?
+
+TALIESIN: I think we need to bring it. I think we’re
+going to need a trophy.
+
+LIAM: What about just its head?
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a big head. It might be all we can
+take.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know if it’ll fit on the boat.
+Would it fit on the boat that we came out on?
+
+MATT: How much of the body?
+
+LAURA: The whole body.
+
+MATT: The whole body with all of you could
+probably fit. It doesn’t have the usual– you
+
+could probably fit it.
+
+SAM: How about just the head?
+
+MATT: The head it would probably do, but the full
+body, I’d have to make a few rolls.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to give the body a quick
+search to see if there’s anything.
+
+MATT: You already did.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I got a bunch of rings. See?
+
+TALIESIN: Do I recognize any of these rings?
+
+MATT: No, you do not.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. That’s disturbing.
+
+SAM: I got one, too.
+
+TRAVIS: Has the head been damaged at all, or is it
+mostly intact?
+
+MATT: It’s mostly intact. There are a few gashes
+on it from the general fray, but for the most part
+
+it’s still a solid head.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, you’ve got them impressive swords.
+You want to do some hacking?
+
+TALIESIN: Suppose I should.
+
+MARISHA: I’d say you have a pretty impressive
+sword, too.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and carve off the head.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s a tough form. Not only is the
+exterior of its flesh blubbery and a heavy
+
+rubber-like substance that is glistening with
+whatever mucus-like liquid it naturally produces,
+
+but then beneath it, the muscle sinew is extremely
+tough. It takes you the better part of 20 minutes
+
+to finally get the head entirely off the rest of
+the torso. It weighs enough to the point where
+
+you’re going to need one or two other hands to get
+it anywhere.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s an artiste at work right there.
+
+TALIESIN: This is as far as I go one this one.
+That’s way too heavy for me.
+
+LIAM: It’s all you, blue.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll help you out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to grab Toya.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: (groaning)
+
+LAURA: Is Toya waking up at all?
+
+MATT: Toya is passed out. You’d have to try and
+rouse her.
+
+LAURA: It’s probably best not to wake her up while
+we’re carrying this head around.
+
+TALIESIN: I think that’s a very good idea.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, this is frightening.
+
+LIAM: The imps burned away?
+
+MATT: Yes, they turned to ash.
+
+LAURA: Does he have hair? What are we carrying him
+by?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, what are we carrying him by?
+
+MATT: Along the brow line there are these small
+holes that could be breathing holes. You’d have to
+
+carry it from there, under the socket, or under
+the jaw.
+
+LIAM: Because that’s what you want to stick your
+finger in.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, totally. The mucus hole.
+
+MARISHA: I grab the jaw and I say: “Hey, Jester.”
+
+TALIESIN: I did share meals with this person for
+two straight years. Never mind. I’m walking away.
+
+TRAVIS: We are fucking with his old co-worker.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m already walking away. I took the kid
+and am walking to the boat.
+
+LAURA, MARISHA and TRAVIS: Sorry!
+
+LIAM: Caleb just retched into the grass from
+watching that.
+
+LAURA: All right, let’s carry him.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re the worst. You’re all the worst.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, I gave you the bag of skin. Don’t
+forget you have that.
+
+TRAVIS: I have it?
+
+LAURA: You have the bag of slimy skin.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to salt it and hang it out to
+dry.
+
+LIAM: If it will help tomorrow or today– what
+time is it? It’s the middle of the night, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: You approached just after dusk, so between
+the slow moving in there, the combat, and the rest
+
+afterward it’s probably close to 10:00PM.
+
+LIAM: I know exactly what time it is, don’t I?
+Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: You know exactly what time it is?
+
+LIAM: It’s something I’ve always been able to–
+why is everybody looking at me like– (vomiting sound)
+
+LAURA: Where’s Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: (fwoosh)
+
+LAURA: Oh, good.
+
+MATT: At this point, Molly, as you’re ahead of the
+group and you’re making your way through the
+
+trees, Toya begins to stir in your grasp. Her eyes
+open a bit as you’re holding her and she looks up
+
+at you, confused, eyes lolling around in the
+sockets for a moment before they see you and
+
+clarify. “Molly?”
+
+TALIESIN: I know, dear. You’ve been through a bit.
+There’s been some bad business.
+
+MATT: “What happened?”
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) A friend turned on us, but it’s
+going to be all right. I’m going to get you home,
+
+all right?
+
+MATT: “Wait, where’s Kylre?” She starts trying to
+fight your grasp.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll explain it later.
+
+MATT: She’s going to try and break free of your
+grasp. Are you going to attempt to hold onto her?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.
+
+LIAM: How far away are they from the rest of us?
+
+MATT: While you guys have been doing all this,
+he’s gone on ahead. He’s probably a good 40 to 50
+
+feet ahead. Go ahead and roll an athletics check.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re a monster.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no!
+
+TRAVIS: Tell me you did it.
+
+TALIESIN: No, it’s not that bad.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it looked like a one from this angle.
+Still pretty terrible.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (chanting) Level two.
+
+LAURA: You were rolling bad on this the last game.
+You need to stop rolling that one.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that dice needs to go away.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got some new stuff coming in.
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+MARISHA: It’s coming across the border. It’s real
+good.
+
+TALIESIN: Coming in from the Feywild.
+
+MATT: You can choose athletics or acrobatics.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh. Can I reroll?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Then that’s nine.
+
+MATT: That still beats her. She rolled a five. All
+right, wanted to double-check. She’s scrambling
+
+and as you pull her back she tries to fight for a
+second and then goes limp in your grasp and goes,
+
+“I’m scared.”
+
+TALIESIN: I know. It’s going to be a bit rough,
+but it was for the best. I’m so sorry. Some people
+
+just turn, I’m so sorry.
+
+MATT: “What happened?”
+
+TALIESIN: He got sick. There was something inside
+him. There was something that made him
+
+do some bad things, but it had to be taken care
+of. You’re going to be all right.
+
+MATT: She gets really quiet for a second. You get
+to the boat and the gentleman earlier that you had
+
+passed the wine off to is sitting there waiting.
+He has a small pouch that’s opened with some dried
+
+meat that he’s chewing on as he’s waiting. As you guys
+walk up, he says: “Oh, I see you’ve finished.”
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: (groaning)
+
+MATT: (shouting) “What in the hell is that?!”
+
+MARISHA: Move!
+
+LAURA: We told you we were having a party, man!
+
+LIAM: I was just about to suggest covering that
+up, but you know, all cards on the table.
+
+MATT: He grabs his bag of dried meat, pulls it up,
+and backs up. “I didn’t know– What is that? What
+
+“did you do? What is that?”
+
+MARISHA: I said we were going to be doing some
+frog digging.
+
+TALIESIN: Biggest frog you’ve ever seen.
+
+MATT: There’s a pause before this tiny screeching
+sound begins to emit from Toya. This high pitched
+
+and barely audible squeak as Toya begins to
+scream.
+
+LAURA: I take off my cloak and I cover the head
+with it.
+
+TALIESIN: I was trying to keep her away from
+that.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to keep her away from that.
+
+TRAVIS: We literally cut the head off Barney and
+shoved it in her face. (singsong) I love you.
+
+TALIESIN: The Barney that been raising her, yes.
+Really take that in. Off to a great start.
+
+MATT: After Jester throws her cloak over Toya–
+
+LAURA: No, not Toya. Over the head.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m trying to keep her quiet.
+
+MATT: She’s sobbing into your arms at this point.
+You feel her body shaking against your grasp.
+
+LAURA: I feel so bad.
+
+TALIESIN: You should.
+
+SAM: Poor girl.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take her to the front of
+the boat and keep her far away from all that.
+
+LIAM: I pull Fjord away for a moment, about ten or
+15 feet away. This man in the boat has seen all of
+
+you who are supposed to be under house arrest. We
+cannot have him talking to the authorities.
+
+SAM: Should we kill him?
+
+LIAM: Jeez! Come here.
+
+TRAVIS: I have a good feeling that this guy is a
+man of upstanding nature. I’m sure he’ll keep it
+
+to himself.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s very trusting.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, of course.
+
+SAM: We gave him one bottle of wine. That’s not
+very much.
+
+TRAVIS: We have another bottle. Don’t we?
+
+MARISHA: Yes?
+
+LIAM: Oh, you’re here too, now. Great, it’s a party.
+
+MARISHA: We could also toss him a bit of gold if
+we think it would make him forget the night.
+
+TRAVIS: After all, we came to him, right? I would
+prefer not to use any violence.
+
+LIAM: I’m not suggesting that, but it’s either
+violence or giving him a little something.
+
+MARISHA: What makes you think he’s going to go
+talk to the authorities?
+
+LIAM: You want to leave it to chance?
+
+MARISHA: Who cares?
+
+SAM: This is a small town, Beau. Everyone talks to
+everyone. You taught us that.
+
+MARISHA: I did, but everyone also hated the
+circus.
+
+LIAM: Molly, do you want to join this
+conversation?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been listening. I pull out a gold
+coin. Give him this.
+
+LAURA: Maybe one more. Or two more.
+
+MARISHA: I pull two out as well.
+
+LAURA: I’ll pull three out.
+
+MATT: He’s recessed to the very back of his boat,
+wide-eyed as you approach.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re right. Coin is a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Go charm him, Fjord. You’re very charming.
+
+MARISHA: You’ve got fisherman vibes.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit. Wait a minute. How long did that
+fight take?
+
+MATT: You’ve returned to your normal half-orc
+form.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, cool. Okay. There was an old man who
+was with us before.
+
+TALIESIN: And now there’s a little girl. It’s all
+coming full circle.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we give him the extra bottle of wine
+and you go talk to him.
+
+LIAM: Walking up to the boat–
+
+MARISHA: Here. (clink)
+
+LIAM: Collecting it as I go. The thing of it is,
+we’ve just done Trostenwald– what was that?
+
+Never mind. –a great service. There was an unsavory element–
+did you know the circus was in town?
+
+Doesn’t matter. There was a bad fellow– that’s his head–
+with them. It’s no fault of theirs. You pick weird folk up on the
+
+road in the circus. Isn’t that right, Mollymauk?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll let that go.
+
+MATT: He reaches over, grabs the oar from the
+side, and lifts the cloak off the face.
+
+LIAM: That’s going to rile you up. That’s a bad
+idea.
+
+MATT: “It doesn’t look like a savory creature.”
+
+LAURA: It wasn’t. Trust us.
+
+TALIESIN: Took a lot out of us.
+
+LIAM: But the situation in town is a little
+political. We’re going to take this thing out of
+
+here and I’m going to report it to the
+authorities. We don’t really want to create a stir
+
+and frighten people here. I hope you will take–
+
+LAURA: We like to be unsung heroes. You know, like
+superheroes with secret identities.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’re an underground anonymous
+activist group.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that helps people. But if everyone
+knows who we are, it’ll be much harder to fight
+
+all the crime.
+
+LIAM: Try to focus on the gold.
+
+MATT: He slowly reaches out and takes it from your
+hand. “All right. I trust it was a bad thing. So
+
+"I’m going to take you back, and then you promise
+I’ll never see you again?”
+
+LAURA: We’ll try really hard to not let you see
+us.
+
+TALIESIN: If you see us, we won’t make eye
+contact.
+
+LAURA: We’ll pretend we don’t know you.
+
+MATT: “That includes the goblin.”
+
+SAM: I was never here. We never had this
+conversation.
+
+LAURA: She’s a halfling.
+
+MATT: He glances over and takes a closer look.
+
+SAM: I’m very ugly for a halfling.
+
+MATT: “Let’s just get back to shore.” He grabs the
+oar, takes the bottle of wine that he had mostly
+
+drunk by himself before, and polishes it off in
+one series of gulps.
+
+LAURA: Don’t boat drunk.
+
+MATT: As you all gather up onto the ship, he
+begins to paddle you back towards the western
+
+shore of the Ustaloch to the outskirts of
+Trostenwald.
+
+MARISHA: When we get to the shore, we should
+probably split up.
+
+LAURA: How are we going to get this giant head to
+the authorities?
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good question.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I got an idea! Why don’t you go get a
+wagon as soon as we get to shore, and we’ll help
+
+you load it onto the wagon, and then you just take
+it on in yourself.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a shame we didn’t just get rid of a
+wagon not more than one night ago.
+
+SAM: Why do we need to take it with us? Us
+traipsing through town with a giant head seems
+
+like it would draw focus. Why don’t we just put it
+somewhere and send the authorities out here to
+
+find it later?
+
+TALIESIN: Someone else may get to it, or something
+might happen.
+
+SAM: What are they going to do with it? It’s a big
+head!
+
+MARISHA: We could leave someone with it, and we
+can just–
+
+TRAVIS: I could stand guard as a crownsguard next
+to it.
+
+TALIESIN: What could people do with the head of a
+creature like this?
+
+MATT: What could people do with the head of a
+creature like this? Who knows.
+
+TALIESIN: Would I know?
+
+LAURA: They could make a lot of soup.
+
+MATT: They could turn it in for– there’s a lot of
+poor folk here. If they had a large looking odd
+
+creature, that’s worth some gold.
+
+SAM: We can hide it. Maybe some of us have skills
+to hide things.
+
+LIAM: I think Fjord had a good idea, which is if
+you can disguise yourself as a crownsguard again,
+
+you wait with it. You guys get back to the tavern,
+yeah?
+
+MARISHA: You can go and alert the authorities.
+
+LIAM: Now, here’s the thing. I may be speaking out
+of turn– I know I don’t know you very well, but
+
+it feels like the thing that we all share in
+common here is that we don’t wish to make– maybe
+
+not you– make a big splash here.
+
+TRAVIS: Agreed. The less attention, the better.
+
+LAURA: Well, you know, whatever.
+
+TRAVIS: The less attention, the better.
+
+TALIESIN: For the moment.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so maybe I’m 70 to 80 percent correct,
+but we’re all in this together.
+
+MARISHA: And gold. I like getting paid.
+
+TALIESIN: We need to get this one back to the
+circus, too. You might be helpful for that.
+
+LIAM: I don’t want to make a big thing. I’m going
+to go the authorities, to– my keen mind tells me
+
+that woman’s name was–?
+
+MATT: Oh, the– sorry.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the one who wanted to go eat.
+
+MATT: Yes, you’re talking about–
+
+TRAVIS: Norda?
+
+MATT: Yes, Lawmaster Norda.
+
+LIAM: Norda? I want to go to her and citizen’s
+arrest kind of thing. Keep it quiet, don’t need
+
+big accolades, will take gold, and then I’ll bring
+that back and we can divvy that up. That’s no problem.
+
+TRAVIS: I like it. As soon as other crownsguard
+arrive with Norda and the rest of whoever you
+
+bring to the scene, maybe I can go with you and
+help return Toya.
+
+LAURA: You disappear quickly, because if you get
+drawn into that investigation, it would be bad.
+
+LIAM: Right, and if nobody recognizes you– Do you
+remember any of the guards that were in town that
+
+you could make yourself look like specifically?
+
+LAURA: Oh!
+
+MARISHA: What was that guy’s name?
+
+LAURA: What were the two guards that keep coming
+to the tavern?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, wait!
+
+LAURA: We wrote their names down.
+
+MARISHA: Jonas and Lucas.
+
+LAURA: That’s right!
+
+SAM and MARISHA: The Jonas Brothers.
+
+MATT: They’re not related at all.
+
+LIAM: DM, question. The two zombified back at the
+circus tents, were they burnt to a crisp beyond
+
+recognition?
+
+MATT: One of them was, and they have been
+discovered.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but was he recognizable? Did we leave
+him looking like that dude at the end of The Last
+
+Crusade after he drank from the wrong cup?
+
+MATT: With some time, he could be identified.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Well, the Jonas Brothers it is,
+friends.
+
+SAM: Just to game this out. You, Caleb, someone
+who is not suspected of a crime, is going to bring
+
+the severed head of a member of the circus to the
+police–
+
+LAURA: No, he’s going to go to the police and
+bring them to the head.
+
+SAM: Either way. You, Caleb, someone who is not
+suspected of a crime, is going to point the police
+
+to the severed head of a member of the circus with
+no evidence showing what that thing was or that it
+
+was evil, and that will somehow not implicate
+other people who were not with us at the time. How
+
+is this going to prove their innocence, just
+showing a head?
+
+LIAM: They already believe that the circus is
+terrible. I think they were just going to confirm
+
+their own suspicions.
+
+MARISHA: Also, Toya. If she would speak honestly,
+she would absolve all of us.
+
+TRAVIS: I think Beau makes a very good point.
+Without Toya’s testimony we’re in trouble.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m hoping Toya will–
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s a sticky situation. Because
+what if she talks about my friends who were there
+
+with me?
+
+TALIESIN: She knows what to say when guards are
+asking questions.
+
+LIAM: It looks like she knows how to go off like a
+siren.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s had a bad night.
+
+LIAM: I’m at one hit point, I understand.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll have a talk. We’ll get her to some
+people who can calm her down and make sure she
+
+remembers how we take care of each other.
+
+MATT: “If there’s something you want to ask me,
+I’m right here.” You’re all in this boat as it
+
+makes its way across the Ustaloch.
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry, dear. I was hoping that we didn’t
+have to have this conversation in front of strangers.
+
+MATT: “Can someone please explain to me what’s
+going on?”
+
+LIAM: Can you explain to us, maybe, your
+relationship with Kylre? If that was his name.
+
+MATT: “I mean, that’s the name I’ve ever known.”
+
+LIAM: Let’s talk about the killing part, though.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know anything about that. When we
+did the show the other night, the horrible man–”
+
+TALIESIN: It turns out that that was– Kylre did
+that.
+
+MATT: “Why?”
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know why. Something snapped.
+He’s hurt and killed a lot of people. We think
+
+that maybe he’s been making you sick too.
+
+LAURA: Have you ever heard him say nergaliid?
+
+MATT: “No. Where’s Gustav?”
+
+TALIESIN: Gustav is having trouble with the
+authorities. We’re going to need to all work
+
+together to save him.
+
+TRAVIS: Unfortunately, the authorities think that
+Gustav and the circus are responsible for what
+
+happened. Actually, it’s just Kylre. He wasn’t
+what you thought he was, I’m afraid.
+
+TALIESIN: The twins are being the twins, Ornna’s
+being Ornna. But I think we can save everybody. We
+
+just need to take care of each other.
+
+MATT: “He was my friend, though.”
+
+LIAM: Child, how did you grow so close to him?
+
+MATT: “Gustav put us together for our act and he
+protected me. I felt safe around him. He didn’t
+
+"let anybody get too close I didn’t want to.”
+
+LIAM: Did he communicate with you in some way?
+
+MATT: “He talked.”
+
+LIAM: What did you talk about?
+
+MATT: “Well, we talked about everybody else in the
+family. We talked about how I missed not having a
+
+"family. He didn’t talk about himself much, but it
+was mainly just little games.”
+
+LAURA: Did he teach you how to sing to affect
+people’s minds?
+
+MATT: “No. That was how I got by before I met
+these guys.”
+
+LIAM: I am sure this is painful for you. You are
+young. Sometimes people we feel we know can be
+
+someone else. Regrettably, this is one of those
+instances. He was a dangerous thing. It is very
+
+important that this is buried here. You want to
+travel on with the circus and with Mollymauk and
+
+your friends. That thing tried to kill us. It did
+kill things in Trostenwald. Who knows what it
+
+would have done to you, child?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Oof.
+
+SAM: It’s good.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s not good.
+
+TALIESIN: I felt it.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s Sam good.
+
+LIAM: It is only a six. Rolled very low.
+
+MATT: As you’re talking to her, her eyes keep
+flickering off of your face and over towards Beau.
+
+You watch her curl back into herself and get
+quiet.
+
+TRAVIS: It might do for you to apologize.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Sorry for what, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Really, Jester?
+
+LAURA: Really.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I want to hear this too.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry for choking you with my stick.
+
+TALIESIN: Somehow that was better than what I was
+hoping for.
+
+LIAM: Rated T for Teen.
+
+SAM: And I’ll never do it again?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: And I’ll never do it again. As long as
+you don’t try that again, of course, I guess.
+
+LAURA: It was only because Kylre was trying to
+kill us and she was afraid that you were helping him.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was
+just trying to get you to stop singing. But it was
+
+so abrasive.
+
+TALIESIN: You know how people outside can be. The
+mean girl was just afraid of you and we’re going
+
+to let her go on this one.
+
+MATT: “I’m tired.”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I know. Let’s get you home, okay?
+
+MATT: She leans into you, Molly. After a few
+minutes, she falls asleep against you.
+
+LAURA: That went well, I think.
+
+TALIESIN: Choked you with my stick?!
+
+MARISHA: I did.
+
+LAURA: She apologized for exactly what she did.
+
+TALIESIN: That was certainly memorable.
+
+MATT: “All right, we’re here.” The boat hits the
+edge of the dock. He hops off and pulls the rope
+
+up. Slowly manages the boat over to the side of the
+dock, ties it up.
+
+LAURA: How many people are around the dock right
+now?
+
+MATT: There’s no boats at the dock that are being
+manned currently. There are a few boats out on the
+
+water that you saw in the distance. There are some
+night fishermen. There’s nobody immediately in the
+
+vicinity.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, I’m going to hop off the boat and
+break eye contact with the captain of the boat so
+
+that I can Disguise Self into a crownsguard.
+
+LIAM: I talk to him while you do that. You have
+your wine, you have your gold. Thank you very
+
+much, it is much appreciated. It was a lovely
+trip.
+
+MATT: “Yes that’s fine. Just, please, get out of
+my boat.”
+
+TRAVIS: (English accent) Who goes there? What is
+this, what have you brought?
+
+LIAM: Oh, I have felled a beast.
+
+MATT: “They got in my boat. I– they–”
+
+TRAVIS: Are you responsible for this?
+
+MATT: “No. They took over my boat and forced me to
+take them to the middle island there.”
+
+LIAM: You will not take credit for my kill. I have
+killed this thing and I want it to be watched. I
+
+am going to the authorities. We will bring them
+back and get this sorted.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a horrifying-looking creature. You
+are to be commended for your bravery. Lawmaster
+
+Norda will want to know about this immediately.
+
+LAURA: You weren’t here.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check with advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: This is so weird.
+
+LAURA: I’m just holding a bowling ball.
+
+TRAVIS: 21. No, 20.
+
+MATT: He goes, “I want nothing to do with this.
+Good night.” He helps each of you quickly get off
+
+the boat. Ties and locks it up and makes a
+beeline–
+
+SAM: (shouting) We’ll come to your house with your
+share of the reward.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: All right, we can’t waste any time.
+
+LAURA: Can I lob the head up over the side of the
+boat?
+
+MATT: Make a strength check.
+
+LIAM: Monster calves.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: You’re strong, though.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but at level two you need to roll
+higher than a three.
+
+LAURA: Eight!
+
+MATT: You get it partway up and it begins sliding
+back into the boat and plops into the boat and
+
+goes (bouncing) and you have to catch yourself.
+
+TRAVIS: Tongue and mouth just (lolling).
+
+MATT: It’s terrifying.
+
+LAURA: All right, I need help. It’s still covered,
+don’t worry. She can’t see what we’re doing, it’s
+
+covered with my cloak.
+
+SAM: I’ll help you.
+
+LAURA: By the way, it’s a little tiny cloak. It’s
+like a half cape so it’s like–
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like a napkin on a buffalo.
+
+MATT: A doily on a couch.
+
+SAM: I’ll help you.
+
+LAURA: It’s going to squish you.
+
+SAM: That’s all right, I’m strong. One, two,
+three!
+
+MATT: Eventually you guys get it up onto the
+dock.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, do you intend to keep Toya here or
+do you need to take her back?
+
+TALIESIN: Take her right back. No one can know
+that she’s been anywhere.
+
+LIAM: That is correct. Take her and sequester her
+with the family so not a peep gets out.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll explain to her what needs to be
+done.
+
+MARISHA: How do we trust you all won’t skip town in
+the middle of the night?
+
+TALIESIN: We still have people in the lockup.
+
+LAURA: Gustav’s in jail still.
+
+MARISHA: So?
+
+LAURA: Some people are loyal.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll be back and I have to show back up
+with you people anyway. I’m going to get her as
+
+quickly as possible.
+
+MATT: The rest of you guys are doing?
+
+LAURA: Who is not very stealthy here?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m keeping watch over the toad head.
+
+MARISHA: I have a plus six to my stealth.
+
+TALIESIN: I wouldn’t say no to it before I take
+off.
+
+LAURA: Oh that’s true, you’re sneaking back to the
+carnival. I give you a nice little blessing.
+
+LIAM: You’re going to stay with your new friend.
+You can’t come to–
+
+SAM: I’m not coming with you?
+
+LIAM: Not this time. It’s not– you know why.
+
+SAM: What if you’re in trouble? You’re very hurt.
+You’ve had a terrible night.
+
+LIAM: If any problem should arise, I’ll send
+Frumpkin straight away to you.
+
+SAM: Unless you’re dead. No one’s going to be
+around to save you if you get into trouble.
+
+LIAM: I’m almost dead already.
+
+SAM: Yeah, that’s not good.
+
+LAURA: That’s not comforting, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Nott, this is what I talked to you about the
+other night. These are our friends and we’re going
+
+to sort this out and figure out what we do next.
+It has been you and me, now it is you and me and
+
+them. Okay? You’re with your blue friend here.
+
+LAURA: You can hold my hand.
+
+LIAM: I’ll be back. I’m just going to have a
+conversation. We have gotten out of prisons
+
+before, you and I. I’m not worried about that.
+
+SAM: Her hands are very warm.
+
+LAURA: I’m warm blooded.
+
+LIAM: Well, she was just holding the throbbing head.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+LAURA: Nott, you were too.
+
+SAM: That’s true. But I didn’t have my fingers in
+the holes.
+
+LAURA: Should I leave my cloak here over the head,
+sir, good sir, guard man?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s fucking me, right? We know it’s still
+me. I’m right here.
+
+MARIASHA: We’re not RPing still?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: You can do what you want.
+
+LAURA: Should I leave my cloak here or should I
+take it with me?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, I’ll make a dramatic flourish of
+it.
+
+LAURA: Just make sure you bring it back home.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like the cloak is identifying to
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Take it with you, scratch that. Good
+idea.
+
+MARISHA: Like where did this really pretty pink
+and lavender cloak come from?
+
+LAURA: It’s green.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry, green. I haven’t looked at the
+art.
+
+SAM: It’s nighttime, the moonlight makes
+everything sort of look purple.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s canon.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, go quickly.
+
+LAURA: Okay, we stealth away.
+
+TALIESIN: What is my stealth bonus now?
+
+LAURA: You just get advantage.
+
+MATT: We’ll get to you in just a second. The rest
+of you guys make a stealth check, please.
+
+LIAM: I don’t need to cause I’m just taking a
+stroll.
+
+MATT: Nope. For those of you who are–
+
+MARISHA: Ten total.
+
+MATT: That’s ten.
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+SAM: 26.
+
+LIAM: Yep, that’s my girl.
+
+MATT: Okay, before we get to you. As you guys make
+your way back to the Nestled Nook Inn, you come to
+
+the intersection where the alleyway leads you back
+to where the rope you had originally let down was
+
+placed. The rope is still there, in the darkness.
+As you make your way into the alley a voice goes,
+
+“Excuse me.” The three of you glance over and you
+see a crownsguard at the end of the alley that’s
+
+currently there with his arms crossed. “Can I help
+you?”
+
+LAURA: Is our back to him still?
+
+MATT: He’s to the side. You guys are all looking
+up at the rope now and he’s to the right of you.
+
+LAURA: Is it still dark out?
+
+MATT: Yes. It’s close to midnight at this time.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god. Has anybody seen my shoe that I
+dropped earlier around here?
+
+MARISHA: I immediately drop to my knees and start
+looking for a shoe.
+
+TRAVIS: What, what?
+
+SAM: Did you say a shoe?
+
+MATT: I would like for you to make a– (laughs)
+
+TRAVIS: You turned into Mr. Rogers?
+
+SAM: A shoe!?
+
+MATT: I would like for you to make a deception
+check, with disadvantage please.
+
+SAM: My shoe!
+
+LAURA: Eight.
+
+MATT: As Beau’s on the ground frantically
+searching for a shoe and Nott’s there in the
+
+darkness, the guard with his arms crossed goes
+(whistles). He begins to walk and approach you as
+
+two more guards close off the other side of the
+alley and they begin to come up to you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: How far away are they from me? Too far?
+
+MATT: Too far.
+
+MARISHA: Drop one of those rings, drop a ring!
+
+LAURA: It’s not a shoe! I drop a ring. Wait, did
+we take a short rest when we were on the boat? We
+
+did. It was a short rest on the boat.
+
+MATT: To get across, I would say I’d allow a short
+rest.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to cast Invoke Duplicity.
+Behind the guard.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check to see if they
+notice you suddenly casting a spell, or a
+
+spell-like effect.
+
+LAURA: Please please please. Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Okay, so you Invoke Duplicity. Another
+version of you appears behind one of three guards.
+
+What are you doing?
+
+LAURA: Oh God. Oh, she doesn’t make a sound, does
+she?
+
+MATT: Let’s double-check this new ability that I’m
+getting used to.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think she makes any noise.
+
+MARISHA: Can she tap?
+
+LAURA: But if she can cast through her, then I can
+imagine she can make contact because she casts on touch.
+
+MATT: You create an illusory duplicate of
+yourself. It is an illusion, it cannot make
+
+actually physical contact with anything.
+
+LAURA: Well, if she’s behind one of the guards
+then two of the other guards can see her.
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+SAM: We took a short rest on the thing?
+
+MATT: I’ll say on the boat across the river,
+sure.
+
+SAM: If you want to hit dice it up.
+
+TRAVIS: You can roll one hit die. He’s rolling
+commando. He don’t want it.
+
+MATT: Anyway, you Invoke Duplicity and you appear
+behind him.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. My duplicate is going to jump up and
+down and start flailing her arms and then run down
+
+the alley around the building.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: We have to kill these fucking guards, don’t
+we?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+MATT: The guard sees something quickly dart into
+the shadows and continues walking towards you.
+
+LAURA: Oh, come on!
+
+MARISHA: Just go with it, go with it.
+
+LAURA: Did you see that behind you?
+
+MATT: The guard approaches and goes, “It seems
+that you have been out and about when you were
+
+"supposed to be within the inn.”
+
+MARISHA: Found it! The ring.
+
+LAURA: That’s my ring. I dropped it out the
+window.
+
+SAM: She calls it a shoe, it’s a shoe ring.
+
+LAURA: I like to wear them on my toes.
+
+MATT: Three more guards have now approached from
+the front of the building and they approach and
+
+begin pulling out manacles and chains and say,
+“We’re going to have to take you to the stockade.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, please don’t. Really, we just left the
+building because we wanted to go–
+
+MATT: You’re being locked up right now, as we
+speak.
+
+LAURA: This is the stupidest thing!
+
+MARISHA: So stupid!
+
+TALIESIN: Level two!
+
+SAM: Do I have to go, too?
+
+MATT: Oh yeah.
+
+SAM: But I was just a bystander! I was walking
+down here and I saw these two ruffians and
+
+I was going to go get help.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: It’s actually true, she wasn’t with us.
+
+SAM: Zero.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: You rolled a zero?
+
+LIAM: Look at him!
+
+TRAVIS: What’s your modifier, negative two?
+
+SAM: Three minus three is zero.
+
+MATT: That went into my nose.
+
+TRAVIS: Brave new world.
+
+MATT: As you’re telling him this, your mask goes
+(creak). He goes, “Arrest that creature!”
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to die from bad paperwork.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we really are.
+
+TALIESIN: Literally, we’re going to die from bad
+paperwork.
+
+MATT: You both are put in chains. You’re put in
+chains both arms and legs.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s just mean.
+
+SAM: Racism!
+
+MATT: They bring you over to the stockade.
+Mollymauk. I need you to make a stealth check with
+
+advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: 13.
+
+MATT: You guys slowly make your way through the
+low grass over towards where the outside of the
+
+carnival is. As you approach, you can see there’s
+about five crownsguard that are making rounds
+
+around the outside. It looks like where previously
+they had been keeping watch over the people that
+
+were there, since the murder of two of their own,
+it has heightened the intensity of the watch. It
+
+looks like it’s fairly well watched. You get the
+sense, at a distance, that you would have a hard
+
+time getting in there. You can try and sneak her
+in and sneak out, but it seems dangerous.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, shite. Not even a good push to get
+her underneath, just back into one of the tents,
+
+or no?
+
+MATT: You can try.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I don’t know they’re caught, do
+I?
+
+MATT: No, you have no idea.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s all get caught.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and wait for an
+advantageous moment.
+
+MATT: Which I’m going to allow you to do. You stay
+outside of the outskirts of the torchlight at the
+
+very front of the tent and the back of the tent.
+The fire of the actual encampment has gone out
+
+because you don’t see any other carnival members.
+The sisters ran. They fled. You don’t see any sign
+
+of Desmond or Ornna. Make one more stealth check,
+for the two of you, with advantage because you still
+
+have the ability. You’re at the cusp end of it
+though.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh. 22.
+
+MATT: You manage to pace yourself, just carefully
+wait for the right moment, dart out of the grass
+
+having her under your arm and she’s like, “What?
+Why? What is going on?”
+
+TALIESIN: You remember. Nothing happened. Find
+Ornna. You didn’t see me. You just hid and waited
+
+and you didn’t know that anything was wrong. If
+people ask, unless you hear from me, you don’t
+
+know anything.
+
+MATT: “Okay.” You slip her into the tent and back
+out, none the wiser.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start heading back to the
+inn.
+
+MATT: Okay. You go back to the inn. You two.
+You’re just waiting?
+
+LIAM: No, I’m not waiting. I’m going to see Norda,
+so I’ll see you shortly. Be ready.
+
+TRAVIS: You will.
+
+MATT: Okay. You make your way to the stockade. As
+you approach and make your way into the interior,
+
+the two crownsguard at the front say, “Hold. What’s
+your business?”
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, and I lurch and prop myself up
+against a wall and push back. Excuse me. I just
+
+had a very harrowing night.
+
+MATT: “Have you been drinking?”
+
+LIAM: You get me Norda this very minute and I will
+tell you what has happened with this circus and in
+
+this town and don’t keep me waiting another
+minute. I’m bleeding out here. Arschloch.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Nice.
+
+LIAM: Oh, come on.
+
+MATT: Just keep it in the–
+
+LIAM: I wish I had gone with that because it was
+great there but it’s not great here. That is a nine!
+
+MATT: It is indeed. He sits there and glares down
+at you for a second, your posturing, this
+
+filthy, scruffy man in a coat that wandered up out
+of nowhere covered in a little bit of his own
+
+blood. He just looks down at you for a second,
+“Sorry. She’s done for the night.”
+
+SAM: They keep regular hours here.
+
+LIAM: Excuse me. There are very good people being
+held under house arrest in a tavern right now.
+
+They are innocent. I have evidence that I can show
+her. This whole thing can be solved now.
+
+MATT: “This whole thing can be solved first thing
+in the morning. I’ll let you sleep it off. Have
+
+"some water. Come back when you’re feeling a little
+more yourself.”
+
+SAM: Kill them all.
+
+TRAVIS: I draw back, and flames burst forth!
+
+LIAM: Okay. I look him in the eye. I will go away.
+Get the message to her that the head of the circus
+
+frog is at the docks, waiting for her inspection.
+
+MATT: At this point, you hear a voice on the
+inside, just like, “Good night, good night” and a
+
+cloaked figure exits the front doorway, roughly
+about four and a half foot tall.
+
+LIAM: I remember the height.
+
+MATT: Norda is off the clock and is currently
+leaving for the evening to return to her home.
+
+LIAM: (shouting) There is a circus toad’s remains
+at the docks! I would like to put this town’s
+
+fears to rest. I am looking for– What’s her name?
+Yorda.
+
+ALL: Norda.
+
+LIAM: Norda. Yorda’s at the inn. Right?
+
+MATT: There’s Norda and then Yorda because I like
+to make it as confusing as possible.
+
+LIAM: Liam’s memory is really spotty, but Caleb’s
+is rock-solid.
+
+MATT: It’s funny. When you spell things on paper,
+they seem so much different and when you say them
+
+out loud they’re like, “Ah, they’re very similar.”
+The figure stops and turns and you hear this
+
+audible (heavy sigh). The figure waddles over
+towards you and pulls the hood back and it’s
+
+Norda. “All right, what’s this about a frog
+head?”
+
+LIAM: Thank goodness. Thank you, gentlemen.
+Forgive me, I can see that you’re trying to get
+
+yourself home to bed.
+
+MATT: “That would be preferable, aye.” You see
+bags under her eyes. She’s had a long day, her
+
+hair’s a bit frazzled, and she looks like she’s
+waiting for you to finish.
+
+LIAM: You are very aware that there are people at the
+Nestled Nook under house arrest by your order?
+
+They are innocent and I can prove it, and I would
+like to end things as quickly as possible. I have
+
+killed one of the circus folk this evening.
+
+MATT: “Now this’ll be real interesting.” She looks
+past you, and you follow her eyeline, and there
+
+you hear the sound of chains as a handful of
+crownsguard with Jester, Beau, and Nott, in
+
+manacles, approach from behind. “These ones,
+you’re talking about, right?”
+
+MARISHA: Help. Help. Help.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Funny story. Yes, these are the people I was
+talking about. Nothing has changed, however, and I
+
+am only asking to take another ten minutes of your
+time to walk to the dock. One of the performers
+
+has been killed this evening, and I have done it.
+I staked out the circus because my friends were in
+
+trouble, and wrongly accused, and I knew this. So
+I staked out the circus this evening, and watched
+
+as this toad thing left the grounds there. It did
+this to me, and I, in a rage, followed it and
+
+destroyed it, and I will show you the remains of
+my work. We’ll put it to bed. I’m either a clown
+
+or I’m a toad-killer. Let’s see what it is.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Come on, you fucker.
+
+LAURA: Oh, goddamn.
+
+LIAM: 11.
+
+MATT: She goes, (sighs) “Hold onto them for just a
+moment.” She walks back inside. A moment passes,
+
+and she returns with four other guards.
+
+LAURA: I keep doing this so I can make a jingling
+sound with my chains.
+
+LIAM: You know, that’s probably agitating the
+issue. Let’s go to the docks.
+
+MATT: She comes up. “All right. Drag them along
+with us. Show us what this thing is, and if what
+
+"you say is not true, you’ll join them. How’s that
+sound?”
+
+LIAM: I’m good with these terms. Follow me
+please.
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+LAURA: You know, the only reason we were out of
+the inn is because we were looking for you, Caleb.
+
+We didn’t know where you went.
+
+LIAM: I am not going to answer her. I’m just
+walking very firmly, with purpose, to the docks.
+
+MATT: It has been close to an hour at this point.
+
+TRAVIS: If I can clock that, I would like to leave
+the head, move off into the shadows, and assume my
+
+older man form.
+
+MATT: Using your second slot.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I can just drop–
+
+MATT: Oh no, you can do this whenever, that’s
+right.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll drop the crownsguard, and make the
+old man and sit so I can keep an eye on it, but
+
+away from it.
+
+MATT: Eventually, you guys are led up to the
+docks, where you guide them.
+
+LIAM: Moment of confusion– here it is, right
+here, where I left it. Nobody has tampered with
+
+it. I turn around and I pull back my clothing and
+show a huge slash across my body, and say: You see
+
+this? It was done by this thing. (whoosh)
+
+MATT: As soon as you pull back and reveal the
+face, its jaw is relaxed now, its muscles have sat
+
+now that it’s been left in the dock, and it’s
+pooled at its base. This old pumpkin look. Its
+
+tongue’s lolling out and unraveled on the ground,
+what remained within its salivary glands has
+
+soaked the remaining wood around its base. One of
+the eyes has rolled back, but it’s a horrible
+
+display. The guards take a step back immediately
+at the reveal, and Norda immediately gets
+
+interested, gets close, takes a look at it, and
+begins prodding a bit with her finger.
+
+LIAM: It is as bad as it looks, and if you have
+any holy people in this city, they will confirm
+
+that this thing is fiendish.
+
+MATT: (sighs) “You say it’s a fiend? Because what
+this looks like is you just murdered one of our
+
+"possible witnesses and/or other members of this
+investigation, so I’m hoping this is a fiend. I
+
+"don’t know fiends.”
+
+LIAM: I hope you don’t believe that I slashed open
+my own body and then went to the police.
+
+MATT: “Honey, I’ve been doing this for a long
+time. I’ve seen stranger. Hold on just a second.”
+
+She calls one of the guards over, whispers to him
+for a second. He rushes off. “Just so happens we have
+
+"someone in town who might be able to confirm this
+for us, might help your case.”
+
+LAURA: Who is it?
+
+MATT: “Oh, they will be here shortly.”
+
+LIAM: I sit down on a crate and I stop talking.
+
+MATT: Okay, and this awkward period of time with
+the guards all just standing there, holding you
+
+as you wait patiently. Some of them are tapping
+their fingers. You start rattling your chains and
+
+two guards pull the chains taut so you can’t do it
+anymore. Mollymauk, as you begin to make your way
+
+back into town, because you’re making your way
+through the dock district along the lakeside and
+
+you look up ahead, and you can see there’s a
+couple of torches being held by crownsguard right
+
+where the head was left, and you can see Caleb,
+and then three of your allies in chains.
+
+TALIESIN: Hmm. (sighs)
+
+LAURA: Oh no! What are you going to do?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get a little closer.
+
+MATT: All right, make a stealth check, please. You
+do not have advantage anymore, that has passed.
+
+It’s been more than a hour.
+
+TALIESIN: Just to take a look at what is actually
+going on.
+
+LAURA: Not to get too close.
+
+TALIESIN: Not too close.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s not a high DC.
+
+TALIESIN: 19!
+
+MATT: You get a little closer, you are still maybe
+a good 100 feet or so away from them, keeping to
+
+the shadows along a building, keeping low.
+Thankfully it’s nighttime, it’s pushing midnight
+
+at this point. Because you’re ostentatiously
+dressed, but there isn’t a lot of light in your
+
+colors. As far as you know right now, no one can
+see you, you’re too far away to hear much, but you
+
+can keep an eye on them.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, what’s the play? What’s the play?
+
+Ah! I’m going to–
+Yeah, fuck it. I’m going to walk up.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: With briskly. There I find you!
+I’ve been looking everywhere.
+
+You’re not supposed to leave
+the bloody inn you– oh.
+
+(sighs) They’re already in trouble, apparently.
+
+MATT: “I love when they do this! Chain him up.”
+You are shackled as well.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Less questions to answer.
+
+MATT: At this point, Norda is starting to smile a
+bit. She’s like “Man, if we could have more
+
+criminals like you lot, my job would be far
+easier. I would get home a lot earlier.”
+
+SAM: We’re not criminals! We’re not! Me and Caleb
+were just travelling ever since we broke out of that–
+
+Nothing!
+
+TALIESIN: Dance number.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s good that you try so hard to
+protect the rights of giant frog creatures. I’m
+
+very impressed.
+
+LAURA: Fiend creatures specifically.
+
+MATT: At this point the guard that had left
+earlier, who has been gone for about 15 to 20
+
+minutes or so, comes back with a brisk jog.
+There’s another figure walking up behind him, also
+
+jogging. You can see light gray hood and cloak
+around and as the figure approaches into the torch
+
+light, pulls back the hood, and you see this long
+shoulder length curled blond hair. A very very
+
+delicate looking elven male, who approaches. “I
+believe I’ve been summoned, Norda?” “Yes sorry,
+
+this is Archivist Zeenoth. He’s been in town for a
+few days and he comes from the library that knows
+
+a lot about a lot of things. I hope that he can
+help us in this. Zeenoth, they’re calling this
+
+thing a fiend. What do you know about this?” He
+steps closer, kneels down next to the head.
+
+TALIESIN: Xhorhas.
+
+MATT: Hmm?
+
+TALIESIN: I just whisper Xhorhas.
+
+MATT: “Yes, these creatures do frequent Xhorhas.”
+He gives some look over, pulls a small book out of
+
+his side pouch. Begins to thumb through it,
+compares a few things. “I’m not a specialist,
+
+unfortunately. This creature is very much a very
+dangerous entity from the far east. I’m surprised
+
+it made it this far into civilization before being
+destroyed. It’s a good thing it has been.” He now
+
+gets to look at everyone, over the crew and goes,
+“Are you the ones who slew it?”
+
+LAURA: Oh well technically it was Caleb,
+technically.
+
+LIAM: Just me.
+
+MATT: As the figure looks over and stops on Beau
+and kind of smiles.
+
+SAM: What’s going on over there?
+
+MARISHA: Oh sorry, I just have back issues. I’m
+just stretching.
+
+LIAM: Yes it was difficult, but I prevailed in the
+end. The city is safe. What library was that that
+
+you mentioned?
+
+MATT: “Oh I’m an archivist. I’m the archivist of
+the Cobalt Soul.”
+
+LIAM: Here in town?
+
+MATT: “No, I’m from Zadash. I’m a bit out of my
+depth at the moment.”
+
+LAURA: What brings you this far?
+
+MATT: “Well, I have business.” At this point Norda
+goes, “All right you know what? This is some
+
+serious bullshite. We’re all just chilling here at
+the docks, we have confirmed that’s a fiend.”
+
+LAURA: The nergaliid!
+
+MATT: “A nergaliid! Bring them back to the
+stockade. Let’s have a trial.” They begin to pull
+
+you guys back to the stockade. Two of the guards
+grab the nergaliid head and they begin dragging it
+
+along, and you guys are all being pulled.
+
+LIAM: Oh sorry, one last thing, Watchmaster. I
+pull out the book that I read about the nergaliid.
+
+Here this is a gift, for you. This is folklore.
+You will find I have marked a page in there. It
+
+will describe this thing.
+
+MATT: As you guys are walking, she thumbs through
+and finds the page, begins to read, passes it to
+
+the archivist. He begins to read it. He passes it
+back. You guys all make your way into the
+
+stockade. You’re not brought to her chambers,
+you’re brought to a much larger room. This room
+
+has much more of a stark, barren, stone interior.
+There are benches built. There is a central kind
+
+of a pit. There’s about four or five steps down
+into this pit. Then above that is a desk where
+
+Norda takes as the law master. As you step in you
+realize, oh this is a room of judgement. What are
+
+you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I would like to try, once they start
+making their way back to that facility, to quickly
+
+make my way to the inn, if I can as the old man,
+enter, make my way into the restroom, drop my
+
+disguise, come back out as Fjord. Oh the water
+closet, what have you.
+
+MATT: There is a shared water closet.
+
+LIAM: It’s just a pot.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the room with the pot in it. Then
+make my way back to the front door, stick my head
+
+out where the guards are.
+
+MATT: Yeah, there’s two guards still posted there.
+Most of them have already left because they’re
+
+carting off the rest of your friends.
+
+TRAVIS: Please, I can’t seem to find any of my
+comrades. Have you seen where they have gone?
+
+MATT: They look at each other. “Yeah, they’ve been
+arrested.”
+
+TRAVIS: I was afraid as much. Could I make my way
+down to where they are being held? I would like to
+
+be present, if it would be prudent.
+
+MATT: “You leave our watch, we cut you.” They both
+flank you side to side and push you ahead a little
+
+bit. They are glued to your right and left.
+
+TRAVIS: Very kind of you.
+
+MATT: They lead you to the stockade. As you guys
+are brought into this chamber, Norda sets up.
+
+SAM: Who is going to go get the little girl?
+
+LIAM: You’re the little girl here. You’re
+confused. It’s been a night.
+
+MATT: Norda, up there at the top, takes her cloak
+off, puts on her ceremonial armor bits. There’s a
+
+whole element to the presentation of this. You can
+see her tiredly putting them on. Sets her hands on
+
+the top, “I would like you to present what
+evidence you have to absolve you of these charges
+
+against you and then based on what you present,
+I’ll decide whether or not you’re innocent or
+
+guilty or require further investigation. Who would
+like to present evidence first? You! You brought
+
+the head of a creature! You’re not in chains.
+We’ll start with you.” They drag the creature’s
+
+head forward. She takes the book from the
+archivist. “And speaking with Zeenoth here, it
+
+appears what you said is true. This creature is a
+dangerous, terrible fiend. And looking at it’s
+
+apparent ability to feast on the essence of
+creatures, this explains both the transformation
+
+of the old man. This also explains destruction of
+our two guards, who were recently discovered. Rest
+
+their soul. So, that explains that. Convince me as
+to why you were not working with this entity,
+
+especially those of the carnival.” She snaps her
+finger again and you watch as Gustav and Bosun are
+
+brought into the chamber, as well as a third
+figure who you see step out of the shadows. Her
+
+hair dark and fading to white, last seen fleeing
+into the distant fields, you see, in chains as
+
+well, Yasha being pulled into the courtroom.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Showing up just to get arrested!
+
+MARISHA: Welcome to the club!
+
+LIAM: (singing) Breaking the law, breaking the
+law!
+
+TALIESIN: Lot of help you were!
+
+MARISHA: Welcome to the chain gang.
+
+ASHLEY: Hey. Yeah.
+
+MATT: “That one was caught fleeing from the
+scene.”
+
+ASHLEY: No, that’s completely a misunderstanding
+of things. That’s not what happened.
+
+MATT: “I’m certain. You have a trustworthy face.
+What’s the next bit of evidence you want to
+
+present, please? Anyone?”
+
+LIAM: Well, first a question. Are you familiar
+with Occam’s Razor?
+
+MATT: “What?”
+
+LIAM: I figured. Okay. That one works for the
+circus. Do I look like I work for the circus?
+
+MATT: “Strangely, not well dressed enough.”
+
+LIAM: No. I’m a dirty hobo and I reek like
+yesterday’s garbage.
+
+MATT: “I wasn’t going to go that far, but I’ll
+admiss it.”
+
+LIAM: Yeah. This one, does he look like a circus
+performer? Is he filthy like me?
+
+LAURA: He’s not here.
+
+MATT: “Which one?” Fjord has not arrived yet.
+
+LIAM: But he’s right here! Look, I can touch him.
+
+MATT: We’ll say for the purposes of that, as you
+say that and reveal your hand, Fjord enters
+
+through the door like it was a planned arrival.
+
+SAM: Weirdly, he’s dripping wet.
+
+TRAVIS: Baby oil.
+
+LIAM: The sardonic one, right? With the
+shit-eating grin. Does she look like she works for
+
+the circus?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know what she works for, but I
+don’t trust her.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s smart.
+
+LIAM: I am injured within a centimeter of my life.
+This one is a nincompoop.
+
+LAURA: Wait, which one were you pointing at?
+
+LIAM: That’s you. I pull the mask away. This is my
+good friend. She’s a goblin.
+
+SAM: A little halfling girl!
+
+MATT: At this point, you watch her pull back.
+
+LIAM: I step in front of her. She is my friend and
+colleague and you will not lay a hand on her while
+
+I am standing here.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Fucking right I will.
+
+That is an 11.
+(chanting) Level two!
+
+MARISHA: (chanting) Shitty dice!
+
+MATT: Her eyes are chained onto this goblin.
+
+LIAM: She’s looking into my chest because Nott is
+behind me. I’m sorry, I’m confused why you’re
+
+going to such lengths to defend the rights of this
+large, oversized frog skull.
+
+MATT: “I defend no rights of this creature! I’ve
+been in this office long enough to know that there
+
+aren’t usually solo workers on something like
+this. I know these folk. They all protect each
+
+other. Who’s to say this wasn’t their whole
+reasoning for coming anyway, and something went
+
+wrong, and they’re letting him take the fall?”
+
+LIAM: There’s a big conspiracy to make undead
+crownsguard here in the city?
+
+MATT: “I don’t fucking know! Don’t tell me how I
+do my business! Sit the fuck down! Who’s next?”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re right. We do protect our own.
+That’s absolutely true.
+
+MATT: “Let him up.” They loosen the chains and you
+get to stand and approach a bit.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a common tactic. It’s a good way to
+make your way through this world. Normally it
+
+works. We assumed, the circus, anyway, that we
+were being framed. We were protecting our own. Is
+
+the head in here?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: This one showed his true colors, and
+then we took care of it. I’m going to throw one of
+
+my swords down on the ground that is filthy with
+its blood.
+
+MATT: “All right. Why did this one run?”
+
+ASHLEY: Well–
+
+SAM: (high-pitched) I mean–
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like I didn’t need to be in there
+anymore. You know. I don’t– ugh.
+
+MATT: I would like you both to make persuasion
+checks.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, shit. 12.
+
+ASHLEY: 11.
+
+TALIESIN: We needed someone on the outside. We
+knew we were innocent. We knew you didn’t think
+
+so. We just assumed you were going to have us all
+executed and we didn’t do anything. What would you
+
+have done?
+
+MATT: “Is that goblin pissing in my court?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I’m sorry! I’m really nervous!
+
+TALIESIN: In his defense, it’s a wonderful
+vintage. Her defense.
+
+SAM: I’m very nervous. I’m sorry, it’s just your
+guards shackled both my wrists and my ankles and I
+
+can’t move to get into a good position.
+
+LIAM: You know, when she’s nervous she aerates her
+bladder, all right?
+
+SAM: Look, I have some evidence to submit. Look at
+my hands and also the hands of Jester. We’re
+
+covered in the thing’s blood. We were there too.
+We helped the killing of the creature.
+
+MATT: The dwarf woman, Norda, leans forward and
+looks you dead in the eyes. “I’ve known friends I
+
+grew up with who were carved down by your kin.
+Convince me why I shouldn’t hang you tomorrow.”
+
+SAM: I’m sorry for your loss. Where are your
+people from?
+
+MATT: “Grimgolir.”
+
+SAM: That’s not where my clan’s from. I had
+nothing to do with it. My clan operates far, far
+
+away and–
+
+MATT: “Where does your clan operate from?”
+
+SAM: I’m looking on the map. Near the Felderwin
+Tillage.
+
+MATT: “That’s not too far. Maybe we’ll send some
+folks to pay a visit to your clan.”
+
+SAM: You can. Feel free. I’ll even tell you where
+they are. I’m no longer associated with them and I
+
+can help you hunt them down if you’d like.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+MARISHA: Wow.
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+SAM: One.
+
+LAURA: No, but you didn’t roll a one. He rolled a
+four.
+
+SAM: It’s not a natural one.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: Not a natural one.
+
+LIAM: Still sucks.
+
+MATT: (sigh)
+
+LAURA: God, why are we rolling so bad?
+
+MATT: She leans back. “I want to sleep. I think
+you’re telling the truth. Most of you. Archivist,
+
+does this resonate with you as well? Does this
+check out, lore-wise? I don’t know what the fuck
+
+you do.” The Archivist is like, “I believe based
+on what they’ve stated, at least it’s consistent
+
+though I’m a bit confused as to the demeanor of
+the goblin. It’s not unheard of to have goblin kin
+
+turn against their own. There have been a number
+of historic individuals of various monstrous races
+
+who have been beneficial members of society.”
+
+LIAM: I invite Nott up to my piggy-back position
+on my shoulders.
+
+LAURA: You can’t, she’s chained up.
+
+LIAM: I scoop her up.
+
+SAM: This is even more awkward. Just put me back
+down. Put me back down.
+
+LIAM: Just let it happen.
+
+SAM: No! The chains are pulling me one way and
+you’re pulling me the other way. Just come down to
+
+my level! Come down here!
+
+MATT: “Bring the two others forward.” They bring
+forward Gustav and Bosun. “This is your circus,
+
+right?” He goes, “It is my circus and I take full
+responsibility for what’s happened. Sincerely.
+
+They have done nothing wrong. They are completely
+innocent. I brought this creature into our fold
+
+and that is on me. Whatever judgement you have,
+bring onto my head, not theirs. Please. I implore
+
+you.” “Fine. I’ll consider the investigation
+closed. You’re all freed of charges against you.
+
+Including the goblin.”
+
+SAM: Oh! Thank you! I would kiss you if I could.
+
+MATT: “I would not recommend trying. Okay. Gustav,
+what’s– I can’t read your last name. You’ve been
+
+given quite a debt for Trostenwald so you shall
+remain here until you’ve worked off the debt to
+
+the city. To the number of 2,645 gold pieces. To
+make up for the deaths of our two crownsguard, of
+
+the two civilians who have died, and the general
+cost of this entire investigation. We’ll consider
+
+what your work is to the city tomorrow. However,
+the rest of you: you’re free to go. I’m going to
+
+go get myself some sleep.”
+
+LIAM: Can I have my book back, please?
+
+MATT: Takes her armor off. “(sigh) All right. I’m
+going to get a drink.” She puts her cloak on and
+
+then hops off. With the imposing sight of her on
+top of a large pedestal and desk, she hops down to
+
+her natural dwarven height and it’s almost
+adorable to watch her just skitter the hell out of
+
+there. She’s done.
+
+LAURA: Where are you getting a drink at?
+
+MATT: There’s no response.
+
+LAURA: Do you want company?
+
+TRAVIS: I just turn to the nearest crownsguard
+and–
+
+MATT: The chains are removed. They free everybody,
+including Gustav, but two guards are assigned to
+
+him to keep an eye over him.
+
+MARISHA: As soon as Beau gets out of her chains, I
+grab my stuff and I leave.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you are exiting the stockade, in
+the archway of the doors right outside, you see
+
+another figure standing hood up– like a short
+hood with a mantle that stops about midway. Bare
+
+arms and dark skin, baggy gray pants and is there,
+waiting.
+
+MARISHA: What’s the mantle?
+
+MATT: You don’t recognize any details about it.
+You see a cloaked figure there, waiting, looking
+
+right at you.
+
+MARISHA: Is he blocking the doorway?
+
+MATT: Is just beyond the doorway. It’s not
+blocked.
+
+MARISHA: Is there another way out?
+
+MATT: I mean, you can exit. They’re just on the
+other side of the door. Every other way in, you
+
+don’t know the stockade well and all of it just
+leads further into the stockade. There are other
+
+crownsguard inside.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m just going to try and just bolt
+through.
+
+MATT: You’re just going to bolt? Full run?
+
+MARISHA: Not run, just you know, Irish goodbye.
+
+MATT: Okay. All right. As you briskly exit and
+turn to the left, the figure intervenes and side
+
+steps right in front of you.
+
+MARISHA: Do I recognize him?
+
+MATT: No. You don’t see much of the face. The hood
+is up and a little bit of the moonlight is coming,
+
+you can see the edge of features. The body is
+muscular, but thin. Looks not terribly masculine
+
+or feminine, but it looks able and it moved at a
+very quick speed to intercept your positioning.
+
+MARISHA: I just go: Oh, fuck! Turn around and walk
+back in.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll join everyone else. I flick off the
+guy on my way back in.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys are being escorted out of the
+stockade, Beau comes back in and joins you.
+
+LAURA: I thought you left.
+
+MARISHA: Just had to pee.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: Shame.
+
+LAURA: Hey, you guys, we’re town heroes! What’s it
+feel like?
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Yasha, it’s very good to see you again.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s good to see you guys, too.
+
+SAM: Where did you go? Were you on the lam for a
+long time?
+
+ASHLEY: I have a little bit of a problem with
+authority and I didn’t want to be caught in a
+
+small and confined space and then that ended up
+happening.
+
+LAURA: How long have you been in there?
+
+ASHLEY: Immediately after I ran away. They sent
+out horses. I’m not that fast, but I did fuck up a
+
+few of the guards. “By accident. ”
+
+MATT: As you say that, you hear a couple (clears
+throat) and two of the crownsguard visibly bruised
+
+that are escorting you guys out into the night air
+before they eventually leave you to your own devices.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, what do you think this means for
+the carnival?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. That is a question.
+
+LAURA: I mean, if Gustav has to stay here then
+who’s going to run it?
+
+MARISHA: That’s a lot of gold. That’s like a life
+sentence worth of gold.
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean–
+
+TALIESIN: Gold comes, gold goes.
+
+LIAM: How much do you think the circus has?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know how much the circus has and,
+honestly, I think Ornna would lie about it if we asked.
+
+MATT: The crownsguard have pulled away and now
+it’s just you guys and Bosun and Gustav now, out
+
+in the air and Gustav is rubbing his wrists.
+“Well, thank you everyone for helping. That could
+
+"have been a lot worse. And, you know, it’s fine. I
+know it’s a lot of money, but shouldn’t take me
+
+"more than a few years. It’s a nice town!
+Trostenwald is a nice town!”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not that nice.
+
+MATT: “No, it’s not, but you know, it’s better than
+prison.”
+
+LAURA: There’s a lot of beer here.
+
+MATT: “That there is. I may have to start a small
+fund for that on its own.”
+
+LIAM: What happens to the circus, because, you know,
+you can’t do the same show for the same people for
+
+a year?
+
+MATT: “Where’s Ornna? Where’s the twins?
+Where’s–”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, the twins buggered. Ornna? God
+only knows.
+
+ASHLEY: Where’s Toya?
+
+TALIESIN: Toya is back at the circus, but shaken.
+Very shaken.
+
+MATT: At which point, Gustav just begins making a
+beeline for the circus. Bosun goes, “Oh.” (sighs)
+
+TALIESIN: How hard can it be to make 2,000 gold?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know how much he saved. Nowhere
+near that much, probably.”
+
+TALIESIN: How hard can it be to steal 2,000 gold?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know how many people around here
+have that much. Although, the breweries might.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe be best to find that gold
+elsewhere.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, so who killed him?
+
+MATT: Gustav has spun around and comes back and is
+like, “Sincerely. I appreciate the aid, but don’t.
+
+"This is on me. I’ll take care of it. This is not
+your responsibility. It’s not your responsibility.
+
+"You guys have already done so much. It’s fine.
+I’ll take care of it.”
+
+TALIESIN: Suppose we should take a look at what’s
+left of the circus.
+
+MARISHA: Can I go take a look around? Do I see
+Zeenoth anywhere?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, god damn it, it was almost better. It
+was almost good. Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? You don’t see anybody immediately
+around.
+
+LAURA: Was that Archivist Zeenoth that was outside?
+
+MARISHA: Archivist.
+
+LAURA: That’s what I said. Was that who it was
+that was like–
+
+MATT: No, Zeenoth was still inside the courtroom when
+you were leaving.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Different guy.
+
+LAURA: Oh, who was it that was outside?
+
+LIAM: We don’t know, we didn’t see him.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s very late, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s post-midnight now.
+
+LAURA: I’m so tired.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t suppose you want to retire for the
+evening? Share a drink together now that this is
+
+somewhat behind us?
+
+TALIESIN: I will definitely drink. I think we
+should probably drink at our camp then. I’m fine
+
+inviting them.
+
+MATT: “Tell you what. As a thanks, we’ll grab
+Toya. We’ll meet you guys– where are you all staying?”
+
+MARISHA and LIAM: The Nestled Nook.
+
+MATT: “We’ll come meet you at the Nestled Nook and
+I’ll get a round for you all. As a thank you.”
+
+TALIESIN: Is this a human thing to– never mind
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’re just like tieflings, we’re all
+alike.
+
+TALIESIN: I know.
+
+MATT: “All right. Bosun, come on.” They make their
+way off to the carnival camp.
+
+ASHLEY: It was him?
+
+TALIESIN: Kylre went bad. Maybe he’d already
+always been bad, I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: I mean, he attacked us. A lot of guards,
+too.
+
+SAM: He was an evil fiend. When he joined the
+circus, who brought him in?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s not be throwing words around.
+
+SAM: No, he was literally an evil fiend.
+
+LAURA: He summoned imps.
+
+TALIESIN: He did summon–
+
+LAURA: He summoned imps, Yasha!
+
+SAM: He controlled the girl!
+
+TALIESIN: He was fine for years. Something set him
+off.
+
+LIAM : Ah, he said it himself, you people in the
+circus are weird, right? So, every once in a
+
+while, a glitch.
+
+MARISHA: A glitch? What?
+
+TALIESIN: He was fine for so long. There was
+nothing for so long. Why? Things don’t just…
+
+MARISHA: I still think there’s something creepy
+about this lake, man.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe?
+
+MARISHA: It gives me the heebie jeebies.
+
+TALIESIN: Everything gives me the heebie jeebies.
+
+LIAM: Well, if it is this thing that we’ve read
+about in the book, then perhaps he needed to feed
+
+more or was impatient for some reason?
+
+ASHLEY: What’s happened with Toya?
+
+TALIESIN: Shite.
+
+ASHLEY: How is she?
+
+TALIESIN: She is not good. She is taking it as you
+would expect.
+
+SAM: Also Beau crushed her windpipe.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s true. With her stick.
+
+LIAM: And, I’m sorry, are we also taking the
+bouncer into our little coven of weirdos. Is that
+
+a thing that’s happening?
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, well–
+
+TALIESIN: Always.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I kind of go on my own, but–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, she’s one of us.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s the charm, she has to come!
+
+LIAM: I’m too tired to argue. Let’s get that
+drink.
+
+TALIESIN: See, charm. Drink.
+
+MATT: As you make your way back to the Nestled
+Nook Inn, within the tavern, and within the next
+
+hour or so, Gustav and Bosun, Toya and Ornna all
+come in and join you. You guys crowd a few tables
+
+together, and under what is generally a pretty
+empty tavern this night, you guys, for the most
+
+part, dominate the center space.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry, Yasha, for new patrons, you’re
+going to have to surrender your sword.
+
+ASHLEY: (laughs) You’re very funny.
+
+TALIESIN: He is very funny.
+
+LIAM: That is a very sick burn.
+
+MARISHA: Speaking of swords–
+
+LAURA: Careful Fjord, we haven’t been healed yet,
+you know. She could take you down.
+
+ASHLEY: You could always try to take it.
+
+TALIESIN: Arm wrestle.
+
+TRAVIS: I could, couldn’t I?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Arm wrestle!
+
+ASHLEY: You do look pretty strong. I mean, you’re
+just a little bit bigger than me, but I still
+
+think I could probably take you.
+
+TRAVIS: Looks could be deceiving.
+
+MARISHA: Arm wrestle! Bets on Yasha.
+
+LAURA: Do it! Arm wrestle!
+
+TRAVIS: I just thought it would be a nice
+gesture.
+
+LAURA: To arm wrestle?
+
+TRAVIS: No, to give up her sword.
+
+ASHLEY: What about your sword?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I’m a paying patron here. They know me
+quite well.
+
+TALIESIN: So? You’ve got to be putting something
+on the table, though. Well, if you want to
+
+surrender the sword or not surrender the sword.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you want to stay in that room any
+longer, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: (laughs) Never.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know what we’re talking about
+anymore.
+
+LAURA: I don’t either.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get a drink.
+
+MARISHA: Are you guys going to arm wrestle?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. How about “Boulder, Paper, Shears”?
+Wait, what is it? “Boulder, Parchment, Shears”!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a stupid game.
+
+SAM: I never heard of that game.
+
+ASHLEY: I think it’s something that kids play. I
+have a better version of that game. We can play it
+
+later.
+
+MATT: The rest of the carnival in presence, Gustav
+goes and orders a round of drinks to all of you
+
+and then sits down. Toya still looks a bit shaken,
+but seems to be comforted with the rest of the
+
+family around her, that still remain at least.
+Desmond’s come and joined as well. As you’re all
+
+sitting together for a bit, there’s a moment of
+quiet as you’re all sipping, and just tiredly
+
+thinking over the events of the evening. Toya
+breaks the silence, “Is the family going away? Am
+
+I going to be alone again?” Ornna looks over at
+her and goes, “Not if I can help it. It’s you and
+
+me, kid, against the world.” Bosun pats Ornna on
+the shoulder and says, “Well, if you’d have me,
+
+you can probably use a strong arm.” Ornna looks
+back at him. Ornna and him have had this
+
+rivalry tension for a while. She goes, “You know
+what? Sure. The trio makes for a strong pack of
+
+performers. Desmond, are you in?” And Desmond is
+just sitting there, staring into his cup and goes,
+
+“I see a new family before me. And one I fear
+that’s a story I could only spoil. No, I thank
+
+you, but I’ll find my own path.” And he just sits
+there kind of quietly in this somewhat sad space.
+
+He gives a brief pat and side hug to Bosun before
+standing up and leaving. Gustav stands up and
+
+looks around. “I’m sorry for everything. For all
+the pain this has caused you, for all the pain
+
+it’s caused you.” Looks at Toya, “For all the pain
+it’s caused you, little one.”
+
+TRAVIS: We had quite the adventure, actually. I
+know people were hurt, but that was really
+
+something.
+
+MARISHA: And apparently, nobody really cared about
+Enon, so that’s, you know, good for your
+
+conscience.
+
+MATT: “Everyone’s conscience is heavy with its own
+reasoning.”
+
+TALIESIN: Get no blame from me.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that. We are our own worst
+enemy, are we not?”
+
+TALIESIN: Ah, cheers to that!
+
+LIAM: I catch Nott’s eye and silently mouth the
+word ‘lunatics’.
+
+SAM: Yeah, yeah.
+
+MATT: “Well, I think that’s the end of my
+carnival.” (laughs)
+
+LAURA: It was such a good carnival.
+
+MATT: “It was a good run! It was a really good
+run.”
+
+MARISHA: Man, we caught the last show, you guys!
+
+TALIESIN: Not our best show.
+
+LAURA: I liked it.
+
+SAM: The tickets are probably worth something!
+
+MARISHA: They might!
+
+TRAVIS: Closed it down.
+
+MARISHA: I’m gonna keep this flyer.
+
+TALIESIN: You have plans?
+
+ASHLEY: No, I’m just going to float around like I
+usually do.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know, I’m thinking about it. I
+don’t know where I’m going to end up now.
+
+MATT: “You can go with Bosun and Ornna, if you
+like. You guys are still carrying on. I mean, I’m
+
+not going to keep the tent, I’m not going to keep
+the supplies. I might hock some of it to try and
+
+pay off my debt, but– take what you want. Start
+anew. It’s my gift to you.” They all kind of,
+
+“Thank you very much. We’ll start small, I don’t
+think we need too much of the ensemble. How we
+
+began, back up in Shady Creek.”
+
+LAURA: I mean, I could use a really large tent.
+Like the biggest one? I would take that off your
+
+hands.
+
+TALIESIN: The biggest one’s a bit–
+
+TRAVIS: What would you do with a really large
+tent?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, I could open up a hotel? Or I
+could make a bunch of dresses. Or–
+
+SAM: Out of the tent?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: You could make a lot of dresses out of
+that tent. That’s fair.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, right? It’s really pretty fabric.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) A hot air balloon!
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t–
+
+LIAM: A what?
+
+SAM: Those aren’t invented.
+
+LAURA: Haven’t you seen airships?
+
+SAM: No!
+
+LIAM: They generally run from crystals. I’ve seen
+that kind before.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, there’s no balloons, though. What’s a
+balloon?
+
+MATT: They have simple dirigibles, but they’re not
+very functional.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it just involves fire you guys. We
+can figure this shit out.
+
+LIAM: Oh, a dirigible? Dirigible I’ve heard of,
+but a balloon? I don’t know what that is.
+
+MARISHA: Have the airships made it to this
+continent yet?
+
+LIAM: You don’t know.
+
+SAM: I think, Jester–
+
+LAURA: I’ve seen airships, okay? I’ve seen them.
+
+SAM: Jester, I think it’s safe to say that this
+first case is closed!
+
+LAURA: (gasps)
+
+SAM: So we could open some sort of private
+investigation service.
+
+LAURA: That’s what we should do!
+
+SAM: Out of a tent.
+
+LAURA: Let’s not open it here, though. This town
+sucks!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we were still planning on moving on
+after this.
+
+MATT: “Bosun and Ornna, you guys can use that
+tent, right?” “Yeah, I think we’ll take the tent.”
+
+“All right.”
+
+SAM: Aw, they took the tent.
+
+LAURA: Aw. We waited too long!
+
+SAM: You got to jump on the tent when it becomes
+available.
+
+LIAM: You know, just out of curiosity, what’s
+everybody plan to do now?
+
+SAM: Well do we have to leave? I mean I’m not
+wanted anymore.
+
+LIAM: You were never wanted. Back to my
+question–
+
+LAURA: Fjord and I are going to try and get him
+into the Academy.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I wanted to find out more about the
+Soltrice Academy, yes. I didn’t know what
+
+direction you were heading. I never even asked
+what you were doing here in the first place.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, you know, I’m just doing a walking
+tour? Through the continent, just kind of–
+
+TRAVIS: A walking tour?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, just like a backpack vacation, you
+know? Just stretch my legs a little bit. Meeting
+
+some fine people. Discovering myself.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you on a vacation?
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Bring a lot of money with you for that
+vacation, did you?
+
+MARISHA: What’s it matter to you?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t believe you’re on vacation. Where
+are you going?
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) That’s your problem. So, you
+guys going to take off or do you guys want company
+
+or– ?
+
+MATT: Gustav finishes the drink and goes, “Well,
+I’m going to go get some sleep and try and figure
+
+out how to put my life together. I bid you all a
+wonderful night–”
+
+LAURA: Gustav, wait! Here. And I take off one of
+my rings. This is an old family heirloom, and I
+
+hope it can help you pay some of your debt.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to spy the rings on her hand, by
+the way, really quickly.
+
+MATT: “Looks just like the one I lost off my
+pinky.”
+
+LAURA: Well, that’s so weird that you and my
+family have the same looking ones.
+
+MATT: “That’s wonderful, thank you so much.”
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome.
+
+MATT: “That’s very sweet.”
+
+TALIESIN: I want to look at the other rings she
+picked up, not that she’s wearing right now.
+
+LAURA: They’re right here. You can get a look at
+them!
+
+MATT: They’re all over her fingers.
+
+TALIESIN: They are obviously rings from random
+dead people, aren’t they?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. I’m just putting that together.
+
+LAURA: I play dinosaur fights.
+
+MATT: Gustav puts his hat on. “Yasha, be safe, and
+punch anyone who gets in your way.”
+
+ASHLEY: I will.
+
+MATT: “Mollymauk, I hope you find what you’re
+looking for.”
+
+TALIESIN: I think I will.
+
+MATT: “To the new family, don’t make the same
+mistakes your forefathers did. The rest of you,
+
+thank you.”
+
+LAURA: (whispers) He said forefathers.
+
+SAM: (whispers) That’s progressive.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “I bid you all adieu,” and he exits.
+
+LAURA: What are you looking for, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Hmm, I’m not quite done with this one.
+We’ll see.
+
+ASHLEY: Toya.
+
+MATT: Bosun and Ornna stood up and Toya is there,
+“Yeah?”
+
+ASHLEY: What are your plans? What do you want to
+do?
+
+MATT: “I figure I’ll just move on with Bo and
+Ornna and make a new show. Something with a little
+
+less death. That’s what I’d like.”
+
+LAURA: You should make your way to the Menagerie
+Coast. I think you guys would have a lot of
+
+success in Nicodranas.
+
+MATT: “I haven’t been to Nicodranas.”
+
+LAURA: It’s beautiful.
+
+MATT: She looks up and tugs on the side of Bosun’s
+sleeve. “You know, I actually haven’t been there
+
+either.”
+
+LAURA: They’re always looking for good performers.
+You would do well.
+
+MATT: “Hmm. Let’s go ahead and make our way. That
+sounds like a nice change of pace, and this empire
+
+is getting a little stuffy for me anyway.”
+
+MARISHA: I’ve bend down to Toya, and I take off
+one of the little jade bangles around my wrist,
+
+and I say, “Here. This will keep you safe from
+assholes named Beau. Except for that asshole,
+
+named Bo. He’s a good Bo, but all other assholes
+named Beau.”
+
+MATT: You watch as Ornna elbows him and is like,
+“Oh, no, he’s an asshole too. It’s fine.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. Sorry again about that.
+
+MATT: She takes it and goes, “It’s okay. I know
+you did what you had to. But when I’m older, I’m
+
+going to get you back.”
+
+MARISHA: You better.
+
+LAURA: Your first nemesis!
+
+MARISHA: My first nemesis!
+
+MATT: Is a twelve year old girl!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I give her a little chin (weak punch
+sound).
+
+TRAVIS: She goes unconscious.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Aw, why? No!
+
+MATT: The three of them stand up and give a nod,
+wordlessly look over the rest of you with a smile
+
+of thanks, and Bosun looks to you and makes eye
+contact and goes, “Take care, brother. It gets
+
+tougher for us up north.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll keep that in mind.
+
+MATT: And they all leave the inn.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I’ll say it. I don’t know if you
+will, but I think that little girl is creepy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no, she’s had a thing the entire
+time. There was a little while I thought she was
+
+in on it completely.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I mean, she might have been.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve known her for years. I just assumed
+that she was in on it.
+
+LAURA: She could’ve been in on it, and just got
+right away with it.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. That would be great.
+
+LAURA: She’s good.
+
+MARISHA: For her, yeah, I mean I got to give it to
+her, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: You know, no matter what you pick,
+you’re always welcome, right?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Wherever you end up.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe for a little bit, but I’ve got some
+things I need do, so.
+
+LAURA: Do you guys want to travel with me and
+Fjord?
+
+ASHLEY: Where are you going, again?
+
+TRAVIS: Up north. Northeast to the Solstryce
+Academy.
+
+LIAM: Straight there.
+
+TALIESIN: Northeast. I’ve always wanted to go
+there.
+
+ASHLEY: Where’s… where northeast?
+
+LAURA: Um…
+
+(chuckles)
+
+SAM: We’re here.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Well technically, you don’t have a map.
+
+SAM: Oh, no.
+
+LAURA: We should really get a map, you guys. I
+haven’t spent a lot of time in this area and I
+
+don’t really know where we’re going.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re kind of going from town to town and
+asking as we go. Afraid we don’t know too much.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if there’s a place– maybe at the
+general store? They would have a map? Or do you
+
+have to go to a map maker?
+
+TALIESIN: Traditionally, you have to go to a map
+maker.
+
+MATT: Traditionally but it can depend.
+
+TALIESIN: We might have a bit of something at the
+circus, I don’t know.
+
+ASHLEY: I would love a map.
+
+LAURA: We’ll go looking for things tomorrow. We
+can go shopping.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. We’ll go shopping with you.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Where are you guys heading off to? Seems
+like people are making pretty big plans.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s safety in numbers, you know?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Took the words out of my mouth.
+
+LAURA: Nott, don’t you want to travel with us,
+too?
+
+SAM: Um, is she coming?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, she just said she was.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, are you scared of me?
+
+SAM: A little bit. You’re very big.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I thought you were Nott, the Brave?
+
+SAM: Oh. No, there’s no comma.
+
+LAURA: (laughs)
+
+SAM: I’m just Nott the Brave.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. You know, Nott and I have been
+travelling together for a while and two is better
+
+than one, although still very difficult.
+
+MARISHA: How long ago was it that you guys broke
+out of prison?
+
+LIAM: Uh… you know, it was six months ago,
+about. Five, six months ago.
+
+MARISHA: Damn, you guys are doing good.
+
+TALIESIN: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Against–
+
+TALIESIN: Five or six months ago.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that was so close.
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+SAM: You have to roll, don’t you?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Roll either persuasion or deception. You can
+choose. Don’t–
+
+LIAM: I’ll do persuasion.
+
+MATT: I mean, you don’t have to say but you did.
+That’s fine.
+
+LIAM: That’s uh, I don’t know where on my
+character sheet is. That’s also a 14.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MATT: All right, so seems on the level.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+LAURA: (laughs)
+
+TRAVIS: Broke out of prison? That’s very
+impressive.
+
+SAM: Well, it was mainly Caleb. We had to get out.
+I mean, it was a bad place.
+
+LAURA: Were they going to kill you?
+
+SAM: We would have died, for sure.
+
+ASHLEY: But you guys were there together? Because
+you knew each other before?
+
+LIAM: Well, first of all, she’s being modest. It
+was not just me at all, I could not have gotten
+
+out of there without you. I don’t think you could
+have gotten out of there without me either but you
+
+know.
+
+SAM: That’s true, for sure.
+
+LIAM: That’s why I said two. Better than one. One
+is the loneliest number.
+
+LAURA: That you’ll ever see.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: There’s nothing wrong with being alone.
+
+LIAM: You know, normally I wouldn’t feel
+comfortable talking about shit like this but you
+
+are all very shifty.
+
+LAURA: I’m very trustworthy.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+LIAM: No, no, no, you’re shifty as well. Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s true.
+
+TRAVIS: In the short time we’ve spent with you,
+you seem to be very upstanding folks. I’m sure it
+
+wasn’t for anything too serious.
+
+LIAM: No, nothing serious at all, really. I was
+too curious. She was maybe a little thirsty. You
+
+know, petty stuff.
+
+SAM: But they treated us very badly and we needed
+to get out of there.
+
+LIAM: We all know how this country works.
+
+MARISHA: And where was ‘there’?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, is there anywhere we should stay
+away from on our travels?
+
+LIAM: (clears throat)
+
+SAM: Any place is– I mean, we’ve been travelling
+around a bit but–
+
+LIAM: You know, I wouldn’t go west, maybe.
+
+TALIESIN: Northwest.
+
+SAM: I’m told east is bad too. There’s monsters.
+
+LIAM: Yeah and they’re pretty terrible in the
+north. That’s no secret.
+
+LAURA: So we go south?
+
+SAM: Oh no, not south.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: It just depends where in the south,
+actually.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d be happy keeping a bit of a low-key
+existence.
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean we are vigilantes so it’s best
+if we, you know, have our secrets.
+
+TALIESIN: Some of us are a bit sketchy with the
+law.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Mollymauk, you’re comfortable leaving the
+circus? You are very– you have a lot of flair.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I figured if you’re going to live
+your life, you’re going to live your life.
+
+LAURA: (jingling)
+
+TALIESIN: Does do that. There’s nothing wrong with
+living your life. You only get one of them, or
+
+mostly. And your days are going to be the days
+that you’re going to have and I’d like to keep
+
+living my life the way I’d like to and keep off of
+certain radars.
+
+MARISHA: Cheers to that.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Life does need things to live.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Stupid phrase.
+
+LIAM: That doesn’t make any sense at all.
+
+TALIESIN: Really stupid.
+
+TRAVIS: Who said that?
+
+LIAM: I mean, it does but it blatantly obvious and
+simplistic.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That’s just ridiculous.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That felt so good. That’s catharsis.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, anywhere that we should avoid for
+you?
+
+ASHLEY: You know. I’m just– I’ll make my way
+wherever we go and maybe I’ll not stay with you
+
+the whole time but I don’t like, you know–
+
+TRAVIS: Being confined.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I don’t– groups and things–
+
+MARISHA: Are you claustrophobic?
+
+ASHLEY: Uh, no.
+
+MARISHA: You mentioned the smaller cl–cramped space
+in the cell. Just curious.
+
+LAURA: Clamp space?
+
+MARISHA: Clamps– clampy space.
+
+TALIESIN: Clam space.
+
+ASHLEY: I like to have my freedom.
+
+LIAM: I mean, technically this is a group. You
+mean groups bigger than this group or is this
+
+group too claustrophobic for you or– ?
+
+ASHLEY: No. I don’t mean it like that. I just want
+to make my own way sometimes.
+
+MARISHA: Not tied down to anything but that cloak,
+am I right?
+
+ASHLEY: (chuckles) Yeah, that’s right.
+
+LAURA: Speaking of cloaks, mine smells really
+bad.
+
+SAM: It was on top of a head. Ugh, that’s really
+gross.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go try to find somewhere to
+wash it.
+
+MATT: Upstairs at the end of the hallway is a
+communal washroom. You can find space there.
+
+LAURA: Hey Caleb!
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+LAURA: You know what’s upstairs?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: This place where I’m going to go wash some
+stuff. You could use it.
+
+TALIESIN: You smell fine.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: (chuckles)
+
+SAM: I like you just the way you are.
+
+LAURA: You’re bloody now, too, in addition to
+being stinky.
+
+TALIESIN: You should probably get that patched up,
+actually, though. That is fair.
+
+LIAM: (clears throat)
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I actually feel like you’re
+starting to get a rash.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m good, thank you.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Damn right.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Well, I suppose we should all go to sleep and
+then if any of us are here in the morning, we’ll
+
+set off together?
+
+TRAVIS: That seems fair.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right with that. Collect our
+things from– my things, anyway, from the circus.
+
+There should be some spares.
+
+LIAM: Do we have time to– look at this, we’re
+making plans with friends, that’s amazing. Do we
+
+have for errands in the morning? I have a couple
+stops. Nothing major.
+
+TALIESIN: Take me a while to pack.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: You guys want me to tag along with you?
+
+TRAVIS: If you weren’t too anxious to run off
+anywhere.
+
+MARISHA: (chuckles, clears throat) No. I’m free on
+my backpack tour. No plans.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. Any sightseeing we should schedule
+along our way?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe avoid Zadash just because I just
+came there, you know. Don’t want to hit the same
+
+place twice.
+
+TRAVIS: Zadash?
+
+MARISHA: Yup.
+
+TRAVIS: Keep that in mind.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Note, note, note.
+
+MATT: As you guys are all finishing your drinks
+and standing up to leave the table, a familiar
+
+voice pipes in from the center of the tavern.
+“Beauregard?”
+
+MARISHA: (groans)
+
+MATT: And the Archivist who was there earlier
+during the trial in the stockade. “It’s been
+
+difficult to find you. Do you mind if we speak?”
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Zeenoth! Hey. It’s been all of about
+twenty minutes since I’ve seen you last.
+
+MATT: “Yes, um, would you walk with me? I believe
+we have much to discuss.”
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Don’t worry. She’ll be returned to you.
+Just–”
+
+TRAVIS: You all right with this?
+
+MARISHA: It’s cool. I’ve got it.
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t care. We’re not that attached
+yet.
+
+LAURA: (laughs)
+
+MATT: “All right then. This way please,
+Beauregard.”
+
+MARISHA: (sighs)
+
+MATT: The elvish man gives a bow and he seems
+jovial.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: More mine, more mine!
+
+MATT: Beau leaves and you guys are able to go
+about the rest of your evening to rest however you
+
+see fit.
+
+LIAM: Way up after Nott has gone, I go over to
+Norda. Is Norda down there?
+
+SAM: Yorda.
+
+LIAM: No, there’s two people with rhyming names.
+
+MARISHA: Yorda is the bartender.
+
+MATT: Yorda is the bartender.
+
+LIAM: This is revenge for Vex and Vax.
+
+MATT: Yeah, and Purvon.
+
+LIAM: I find the purveyor of the establishment.
+
+MATT: Yorda.
+
+LIAM: Mork from Ork, that’s what I said.
+
+MATT: “Right, what can I help you with?”
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, is there– I know you have a bath
+here, but is there a hot bath place like a
+
+bathhouse? I’m bruised over every inch of my body
+and I’m in a lot of pain.
+
+MATT: “Right, that’ll probably be in the
+Hillsward. It’s a bit pricey, but I don’t know if
+
+it’s open this late.”
+
+LIAM: I know, but how much are we talking about?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’d put it maybe somewhere in the
+neighborhood of five silver for a bath.”
+
+LIAM: That’s expensive.
+
+MATT: “But you get bathed like proper, multiple
+people bathing you.”
+
+LIAM: Northward, you say?
+
+MATT: “No, Hillsward.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, good.
+
+MATT: “I mean, no offense to you. Their clientele
+is a bit, upper class.”
+
+LIAM: I’m not worried.
+
+MATT: “Alright, fair enough.”
+
+LIAM: Danke. And I head up there.
+
+MATT: Okay. Beau, as you exit with Zeenoth. As
+soon as you step into the night air, a second
+
+figure flanks your other side. The hooded figure
+from earlier that had caught you.
+
+MARISHA: I just look at Zeenoth and go really? Is
+this really necessary?
+
+MATT: “It is only because it’s been so difficult
+to find you. I had to call in a favor. Please,
+
+come with us. We have a warehouse.”
+
+MARISHA: Do we have to with this guy? He fucking–
+look at him. He looks shifty.
+
+MATT: The head turns to you in the hood and you
+see dark elvish features. A bald head as the hood
+
+comes back. What looks to be a female elf of very
+lithe form who turns to you and goes, “Actually,
+
+it is a woman, but I’ll ignore that.”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, you’re super covered– literally
+saw no features until right now.
+
+MATT: “It is fine.”
+
+MARISHA: You’re very attractive though.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And she walks ahead of you and the two of
+you begin to make your way there. They’re guiding
+
+you towards the Northward and as you step into the
+dark following their lead, we’re going to take a
+
+break.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: I smell bad y'all.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you?
+
+MARISHA: Don’t. You were like, oh my cape smells
+bad and I was like RPing and I like, ooh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody at home, grab your ticket you
+got in the mail. Scratch off number three.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: We’ll be back here in a few minutes. For
+those of you who want to enter the Wyrmwood
+
+giveaway, tonight it’s a special Valentine’s Day
+promotion from our friends at Wyrmwood. They have
+
+four types of dice vaults to choose from where
+they translate your Valentine Day’s message in
+
+Elvish.
+
+(gasping)
+
+TRAVIS: Damn that shit glows!
+
+MATT: So you have some golden Evish stuff there.
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty and you can choose the wood.
+
+LIAM: The writing only shows up if you throw it in
+fire.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Don’t listen to Liam. To whoever is the
+winner of this or any of these, they’ll go ahead
+
+and get you the contact information for Wyrmwood
+so they can customize your phrase. If you want to
+
+be part of this giveaway over the break, make sure
+to use the keyword toad. T-O-A-D in the chatroom.
+
+There’s also apparently an anti-Valentine’s Day
+Drow vault they do as well. It’s pretty cool.
+
+Check them out at wyrmwoodgaming.com but if you
+want to enter that, the codeword is toad. Only
+
+enter once please in the Twitch chat because if
+you do more than once, you’ll be disqualified.
+
+Wait for them to notify you over the break and
+we’ll come back with the winner when we return.
+
+MARISHA: They gave us an amazing matching set with
+the Elvis– Elvish for our wedding. It was super
+
+sweet. Thanks Wyrmwood. Elvis from Memphis.
+
+MATT: (Elvis impression) “Oh that was a natural
+20.” We’ll see you guys in a little bit.
+
+(cheering)
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome back. Before we
+jump back in, we have our winner from the chat.
+
+The winner is Piamo_Feddie! If I am reading this
+correctly, Piamo_Feddie. Congratulations! Danoba
+
+will get your contact information, we’ll get that
+sent out to you. Well done, and happy Valentine’s
+
+Day. Now jumping back into the game, I would like
+to ask everyone but Marisha to leave the table,
+
+please.
+
+MARISHA: See you, guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t die!
+
+MARISHA: This is so scary! So nerve wracking.
+
+MATT: Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: Quietly, they walk you through the night
+air, through the Northward, to a familiar place:
+
+the outskirts of the Baumbauch Family Brewery.
+There’s a slight opening on the side warehouse
+
+doors where you had previously worked when you
+first arrived at Trostenwald, and Archivist
+
+Zeenoth gestures for you to enter. “Please. If you
+don’t mind, my dear.”
+
+MARISHA: Really? Is this what got me caught,
+working for these fucking assholes? Ugh. I walk in.
+
+MATT: There is a single glowing lantern that is
+currently hanging from a rope that is strewn
+
+across the ceiling of the warehouse that gives a
+central source of light to the room. It causes the
+
+shadows to stretch out very long across the
+sides.
+
+MARISHA: What is this?
+
+MATT: As you walk in and turn around, the door is
+closed. The two figures approach. The female elf
+
+goes and takes a chair and sets it in the center
+beneath the lantern. “Please, have a seat.”
+
+MARISHA: I’d prefer to stand.
+
+MATT: She just sits back, about 20 or so feet, and
+leans against one of the large stacks of crates as
+
+Zeenoth approaches you. “Now, Beauregard. You have
+been what the Archive would call a problematic
+
+student.”
+
+MARISHA: (laughter)
+
+MATT: “I’ve had to pull in quite a bit of a
+favor–”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. (laughter) Keep going. I’m
+listening.
+
+MATT: “Since I have been assigned to your
+tutelage, overseeing your progress and training,
+
+you’ve shown great promise, in many ways. You’re a
+seeker of truth, and you have a keen sense for
+
+manipulations and falsehoods. Correct?”
+
+MARISHA: Thanks?
+
+MATT: “When the Archive took you in at the behest
+of your family, you agreed to undergo our
+
+discipline. Our lifestyle.”
+
+MARISHA: No, I didn’t agree to shit. You took me
+in because I’m assuming my father paid you a
+
+pretty nice sum of coin to make sure that you took
+me in. I’m assuming that coin is no longer coming
+
+to the Reserve, so, why do you care?
+
+MATT: “Believe it or not, not everyone does what
+they do in this world for coin. We see possibility
+
+in you. We, wish to prevent you from blowing out
+your own flame. Your tendencies clash with our
+
+teachings, your dislike for authority.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I thought you guys hated me.
+Thought I was doing you a favor by leaving.
+
+MATT: At which point, the woman from behind says,
+“Your dislike for authority is not a bad thing. It
+
+can keep you alive. Authority should always be
+questioned. Those with more power than you should
+
+be held to a higher standard.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you, authoritative figure who I am
+unaware of your name?
+
+MATT: At which point, Zeenoth picks up, again,
+says, “But the way of the Knowing Mistress has an
+
+order of learning. Your patience is essential to
+adhering to this path. I know it may not be
+
+stimulating at times, but we must prepare your
+mind if we are ever to prepare your soul.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’d say that sorting books and
+punching brick walls repeatedly can definitely not
+
+be stimulating at all times.
+
+MATT: “Look, I just wish to–” At which point, the
+elven woman goes, “Enough. I’ve heard enough,
+
+Zeenoth. You are removed of your responsibility to
+oversee Beauregard.” Zeenoth’s eyes go wide. “This
+
+is not a student you can help. Return to Zadash.”
+Zeenoth goes, “Expositor, I do not think that I
+
+have been given a fair shot. Please–” “I know
+this girl, because I see much of myself in her.
+
+You cannot reach her. Go.” Zeenoth looks hurt. “I
+apologize that I failed you.” He turns around and
+
+heads back towards the warehouse doors, which
+shift open, and close.
+
+MARISHA: The fuck was that?
+
+MATT: The woman now steps forward.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like he made me look like an
+asshole, feel like an asshole. Fuck, maybe I’m an
+
+asshole.
+
+MATT: “Maybe you’re an asshole. You probably are
+an asshole. That’s all right, because so am I.
+
+Because sometimes you need someone to be an
+asshole to get shit done.”
+
+MARISHA: Being nice never did. What are we
+talking, stranger?
+
+MATT: “I am Expositor Dairon, of the Cobalt
+Soul.”
+
+MARISHA: Dairon?
+
+MATT: D-A-I-R-O-N. “I take it you have heard of
+our station through whispers.”
+
+MARISHA: Some people like to call you boogie men.
+I figured it was always real. In my opinion, the
+
+best way to hide in a secret organization is by
+having a boogie man.
+
+MATT: “We are the hidden strength of the library,
+you are not wrong. We wade in the filth of
+
+society. We weed out the corrupt. We pursue the
+secret evils of the world, and expose them to the
+
+light.”
+
+MARISHA: Wow.
+
+MATT: “We twist the arm of the unjust, until they
+spill their mysteries. We are the spies. We are
+
+the hunters. We are the watchmen to those who
+rule. We are not kind. We are forthright. We are
+
+truth. Do you, Beauregard, want to see the truths
+of the world?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh god, I’m sorry. I have this burn in my
+butt from all the smoke you just blew up my ass.
+
+It’s just, oh god. Is that a magical talent?
+
+MATT: What’s your armor class?
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+MATT: You suffer ten points of bludgeoning damage
+as, out of nowhere, her fist hits you right across
+
+the side of your face.
+
+MARISHA: It takes me to the ground. That takes me
+to the ground.
+
+MATT: You’re unconscious?
+
+MARISHA: No, just takes me to the ground.
+
+MATT: Okay. “Are you listening now?”
+
+MARISHA: Do I have a choice?
+
+MATT: “Let me be your teacher.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, boy. Is that what I have to look
+forward to?
+
+MATT: “No. What do you want to do now, that that’s
+happened?”
+
+MARISHA: I kind of want to fucking punch you
+back.
+
+MATT: “Then do it.”
+
+“What’s stopping you?”
+
+MARISHA: Now you have my attention. And I fucking
+punch her in the face!
+
+MATT: Go for it. Roll for an attack.
+
+MARISHA: Just a straight unarmed, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: 12 total, not good.
+
+MATT: She dodges out of the way, and as you move
+past, plucks you in the back of the head with a
+
+knuckle. That hits. You take one point of
+bludgeoning damage. It’s a very light tap.
+
+MARISHA: Ow! What the fuck, my dad used to do that
+type of shit.
+
+MATT: With that, she rushes around with a rapid
+pace to the front of you, feints with an upper
+
+cut, and then goes to elbow you in the side of the
+head. That is a 16. What’s your armor class?
+
+MARISHA: That misses. 17.
+
+MATT: Misses. You manage to duck out of the way of
+it. She goes, “Good. Good.”
+
+MARISHA: I got to add some points here.
+
+MATT: Okay. She’s going to go ahead and use her
+bonus action to go into a defensive stance.
+
+“Come on.”
+
+MARISHA: (yells) I’m going to spend a ki point,
+and go into Flurry of Blows, and do a blind
+
+haymaker, a second blind haymaker, and then try
+and backhand with the third. Wildly, recklessly.
+
+Okay, first one. Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Oh, shit!
+
+MARISHA: Second one. Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Two natural 20s in a row!
+
+MARISHA: I don’t have anyone sitting next to me to
+confirm this, but I swear it’s a natural 20!
+
+MATT: No, I can see it!
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take a picture if I have to! A
+natural 17.
+
+MATT: Roll damage on those first two!
+
+MARISHA: Okay. You double the dice, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Roll the dice, double it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. That was a three, a two, so five,
+ten plus eight. 18.
+
+MATT: 18 points of damage. Then the third strike
+that hit?
+
+MARISHA: One, so another five points. God
+fucking– Thinking of my dad, after she just went
+
+“boop,” something just popping the back of my
+head.
+
+MATT: You watch as her defensive stance, she’s
+prepared for it, and as you go to swing, she lets
+
+it down at the last second, and lets you get some
+hits in. Wham, wham! But much stronger than she
+
+expected. The first one clocks her across the
+chin. The other one hits her across the temple.
+
+The last one–
+
+MARISHA: Just a wild backhand.
+
+MATT: Just hits her in the back of the head. She
+stumbles for a second, then spins around. You can
+
+see a bit of blood trickling out of the corner of
+her mouth, and there’s a little bit of a scrape of
+
+dirt on the side her head where you hit. She turns
+around. “Very good. You have learned some things
+
+in your time.” She quickly advances on you. Hits.
+18, hits. Okay. You take three points of
+
+bludgeoning damage, one per hit. Pop! Pop pop! She
+is basically going full in with the strike, and is
+
+just prodding you with these gentle little hits,
+showing control, showing that she’s entirely able
+
+to overwhelm you, and she’s hitting different
+places on your body, strategically. Because with
+
+each hit, you feel this burst of numbness in those
+vicinities. I need you to make a constitution
+
+saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Not great. That’s a natural seven, so ten
+total.
+
+MATT: Okay. After each hit, you gather yourself
+for a second, she stops and goes, “You are quick,
+
+and there is intelligence lying in there. You are
+also quite nimble at dodging blows. Do you see,
+
+with but a few simple strikes, I’m able to extract
+from you everything I need to know about you.”
+
+MARISHA: What the fuck, why can’t I feel my hand?
+What did you do?
+
+MATT: “You see, brute force has its place. But
+precision, and intent. That can take down the
+
+greatest of mountains, by poking the weakest
+point. Now, I know where your weak points are.”
+
+MARISHA: You don’t know shit about me, bitch. I’m
+going to take another attack.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a three. That’s a nine.
+
+MATT: Nope. With each miss, or, the first miss,
+she’s going to use a reaction to attack you.
+
+That’s going to be– She can do that. Ducks out of
+the way, and immediately uses a reaction to smack
+
+you in the head for one point of damage, another
+bludgeoning point. She’s going to spend another ki
+
+point to do another reaction. She can also do
+that.
+
+MARISHA: Roll. I rolled a 15 to attack. Second
+attack. These are two attacks, right?
+
+MATT: For your second one, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: 15, so, 21.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the second one does hit. She does not
+get the second attack. Roll damage on that second
+
+strike.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Attacking her with the first one,
+and then I’m just going to duck down a little and
+
+jab her right in the ribs.
+
+MATT: All right. What was the damage on that?
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight damage, nice. You crack her in the
+ribs, and the impact actually does catch her off
+
+guard. She ends up tumbling five feet backward
+across the ground, catching herself in a
+
+three-point landing.
+
+MARISHA: I back up. I’m going to spend another ki
+point to do my defensive stance. Patient defense.
+
+MATT: Okay. Patient defense. You go into that
+stance that she was in earlier, but holding it for
+
+the entirety of this. Her eyes narrow for a
+second. You see her looking at all the different
+
+points that she struck on you earlier, like she’s
+reading some sort of a docket on what your
+
+physicality is. With that, she doesn’t run at you,
+she runs around you in a circle and begins to jump
+
+off the sides of the boxes, some of the crates
+that are stacked up nearby. You watch them wiggle
+
+as she puts her weight up against them, leaps
+off–
+
+MARISHA: Instead of getting distracted by her, I
+just listen to her and look at her out of my
+
+periphery.
+
+MATT: Okay. Eventually, she uses her momentum to
+climb to the top with her feet and leap off, then
+
+come downward with the knee towards you.
+
+MARISHA: Right as she comes down and I’m going to
+use– Oh, wait, dodge? Go first?
+
+MATT: You’re already in your defensive stance, so
+her attack’s at disadvantage against you. The
+
+first strike. 19, 20 to hit?
+
+MARISHA: Miss. It says patient defense, spend one
+ki point to take the dodge action as a bonus
+
+action on my turn.
+
+MATT: Correct, what the dodge action does is it
+means any attacks against you have disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Cool.
+
+MATT: The first one did hit. Second one does not.
+The third one does. Two hits still get you. Both
+
+one point of bludgeoning damage. The knee comes
+down, and right as it cracks into your head, she
+
+shifts to the side and glides off, and as soon as
+her body glides off, her back is to yours, and her
+
+spinning elbow goes and cracks you in the side of
+the head, but it stops short, just barely hitting
+
+you. She’s toying with you at this point.
+
+MARISHA: You said two more points?
+
+MATT: Yes, two more points of bludgeoning damage.
+Make another constitution saving throw, please.
+
+MARISHA: 11. No, sorry, 12.
+
+MATT: This time, opposed to the pressure points
+being hit, there is the one smack on the side of
+
+your head.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah?
+
+MATT: This pain surges through the side of your
+temple, and travels through your spine, to all the
+
+points she had hit earlier, and your whole body
+tenses and seizes for a second. Your vision blurs,
+
+and your mouth stammers, and you’re stunned for
+the next round. As she lands behind you, and walks
+
+around to the front of you, you’re unable to, you
+can’t move, you can’t speak. “I can start you on
+
+this path. You can return to your wanderlust, your
+allies. Our kind learns more in the world than in
+
+a library. Agree to my instruction, to use the
+skills I teach you, as you return throughout your
+
+journeys. One day, you too, can become an
+expositor.” You begin to regain control of your
+
+senses, and your speech begins to slowly return to
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I got to hand it to you, that was
+awesome, and I want to know how to do that. You
+
+beat me.
+
+MATT: “Very well. Your first lesson begins now.”
+
+MARISHA: Okay. (groan)
+
+MATT: She snaps her fingers, and you watch as
+Zeenoth steps back in, sheepishly. “Is it over, my
+
+dear? Is it done?” “I need you to stand here for a
+second, Zeenoth. I need a body. Let me show you
+
+the proper pressure points.” Zeenoth’s eyes go
+wide for a second. “I don’t believe–” “You owe me
+
+a favor. I found her for you, did I not?” Zeenoth
+sighs, sags his head, and takes his cloak off.
+
+MARISHA: I grab that stool, and I drag it over.
+
+MATT: “Now, depending on what you wish to learn,
+there are different places where you can pull the
+
+information from the body.” Over the next few
+hours, working with you, and over time–
+
+MARISHA: Does she beat the shit out of Zeenoth?
+
+MATT: You both do.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, Zeenoth. Sorry. God, we’re such
+assholes.
+
+MATT: “Assholes that the world needs, from time to
+time.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. The world does need an asshole.
+We’ll work on that one together. We’ll work on
+
+that. That’s good, that’s good.
+
+MATT: “I’ll return to Zadash in the morning. Take
+what I have taught you. "When you feel it’s time
+
+for more tutelage, return to me. Do not worry. I
+have an eye on you.”
+
+MARISHA: What do I do until then, do I just
+continue–
+
+MATT: “Do what you must. Travel the world. Use
+what I’ve taught you. Learn about injustice. Those
+
+you don’t trust, follow them. Bend them. Make them
+tell the truth and admit their guilt. Find where
+
+ever corruption is. Root it out and let the system
+do its job. If the system isn’t doing its job,
+
+destroy the system.”
+
+MARISHA: Why are you doing this? Why me?
+
+MATT: “Because a long time ago, I was a wayward
+girl with no direction, was angry, and fighting at
+
+the world. And someone did this for me.”
+
+MARISHA: I don’t really believe in systems or
+being a part of them, let alone a system that
+
+takes down other systems. Seems almost
+hypocritical.
+
+MATT: “Perhaps. Who knows. Maybe one day you’ll
+find the corruption inside our own.”
+
+MARISHA: Touche.
+
+MATT: “Go. Get some rest. Clean up a bit, I think
+you could use it.”
+
+MARISHA: You might have broke my wrist.
+
+MATT: “It’ll heal. Zeenoth.” She slaps him awake.
+His unconscious body on the ground.
+
+MARISHA: Bye, Zeenoth! Zeenoth!
+
+MATT: (coughing)
+
+MARISHA: Zeenoth!
+
+MATT: “Oh dear.”
+
+MARISHA: Bye.
+
+MATT: “Goodbye. I have such great pleasure in
+saying goodbye, and good riddance.”
+
+MARISHA: I leave.
+
+MATT: You make your way back to the tavern, go
+back into the room, and, exhaustedly, pass out.
+
+Let’s bring everyone else back in.
+
+MARISHA: Hi, friends. How’s it going?
+
+TRAVIS: Are you alive?
+
+LIAM: I’m sure everything went according to plan.
+
+TALIESIN: Quiet dignity and grace.
+
+MATT: As you all come to consciousness in the
+morning, little sore, but recovered–mostly–from
+
+the battle that wrecked you the evening before.
+The fresh smells of cooked meats, and the sounds
+
+of various patrons below in the inn tavern floor,
+rouse you to the morning. What do you wish to do?
+
+LIAM: Ah–
+
+MARISHA: Hi, guys. Sorry I snuck in last night.
+
+TRAVIS: How does she look?
+
+MATT: She’s beat to shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck! Did you get horse kicked?
+
+MARISHA: Several times.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn. How’s the horse look?
+
+MARISHA: Horse is fucking dead. I ate it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a bit excessive.
+
+MARISHA: Horse is fucking fine. Hey, Jester, do
+you have a bandage? Do you have a thing?
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes! Of course I do. I have a lot of
+bandages because I am the cleric.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if that bone’s supposed to be
+sticking out of that part.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’m going to open the medical kit and
+rummage around. Pull out some stuff. Give me your
+
+wrist! I can definitely heal this.
+
+TRAVIS: I bet Yasha can pop it back into place.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, crack.
+
+MATT: Make a medicine check.
+
+TRAVIS: You just made a bow.
+
+TALIESIN: It was string and mime.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, you made it worse!
+
+LIAM: (blood gushing)
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s actually fairly well made; it
+gives some nice support to it. I mean, it’s more
+
+of a sprain than a break. But it helps offer some
+support to it. It’ll heal.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve had some sprains that feel like
+breaks.
+
+MATT: Yeah, no, it hurts like a bitch, or it did
+last night. Or it feels a little better today, but
+
+that’s definitely going to help give it some
+support. Good job.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+ASHLEY: What happened to you?
+
+LAURA: I’ve been practicing.
+
+TRAVIS: Not you, her. What happened to her?
+
+LAURA: Oh. Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Man, it was a great night. I had a great
+night! I haven’t had a great night in a long time,
+
+you guys. That was a great night.
+
+TRAVIS: With the guy you–
+
+LAURA: You came in really late.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d like to see the other guy.
+
+MARISHA: I might have been accepted into, like, a
+secret society. It’s kind of secret society
+
+business. It’s hard to talk about.
+
+LAURA: Are you allowed to talk about it? Tell us
+about it!
+
+MARISHA: Okay! No, I can’t. It’s fine. There are
+these monks. I thought they hated me. It turns out
+
+they like me. Turns out they want me to become a
+part of their gang. But it’s not really real, and
+
+they’re like, “Just keep doing your thing! But
+you’re against injustice and seek out truth and
+
+break systems!”
+
+LAURA: You are a hero!
+
+LIAM: Is this one of those dreams where nobody has
+their clothes on?
+
+TALIESIN: You know, if the monks beat you up to
+make them join your gang, they’re not really your
+
+friends.
+
+MARISHA: You know, I said something like that to
+her. It wasn’t as black and white as that.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that why they did that to your face
+there? Oh, no, they didn’t. Apparently they were
+
+pretty–
+
+MARISHA: I wouldn’t say this woman was my friend.
+I would say she’s definitely a badass. I wouldn’t
+
+say she’s my friend.
+
+TRAVIS: This woman, was she with the fellow that
+you left with last night?
+
+MARISHA: She was. His name was Zeenoth. He’s an
+archivist of the Cobalt Reserve. Lot of books
+
+there. Lot of books.
+
+TRAVIS: Cobalt Reserve. He was in the court.
+
+ASHLEY: Was this a test of some sort?
+
+MARISHA: I think so.
+
+LAURA: Did you pass? I mean, they made you a hero,
+so obviously you did.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not a hero. That’s not what they did.
+It’s more like a vigilante! Like what we said!
+
+Yeah!
+
+LAURA: This is so great. Can they let us into the
+secret society too?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, this is very fascinating,
+but I have some errands to run. Nott, would you
+
+like to run errands with me? We are totally coming
+back and not leaving on our own undercover.
+
+TRAVIS, LAURA, and TALIESIN: Insight check.
+
+LIAM: Bring it on.
+
+MARISHA: Do you need an insight check to know that
+that was shady as fuck?
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck all.
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+TRAVIS: 11.
+
+LIAM: Persuasion?
+
+TALIESIN: 11.
+
+MATT: You don’t have to tell me what you’re
+rolling!
+
+LIAM: I rolled a natural 20! Whatever. I’m being
+very honest! We’re not going anywhere. But I do
+
+have errands to run. So, we’re going to leave
+soon. Have some breakfast. I grab some bacon from
+
+Ford/Fjord’s plate, and grab Nott and head out the
+door.
+
+TALIESIN: Meet us at the circus.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to draw in my sketchbook a
+drawing of the devil toad head rolling along the
+
+ground like a bowling ball.
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: She really did.
+
+LAURA: Well, kind of. I put the little bowling
+ball things on there. And he’s going to run into
+
+all of us, in chains, being knocked down like
+pins.
+
+MATT: Okay. Roll a dexterity check. Why not?
+
+LAURA: Eight– No, 15.
+
+MATT: It’s very well done. There’s, like, hatch
+mark shading.
+
+LAURA: Well, I did get really good training, so
+it’s good that I know how to do shading.
+
+MATT: All right, what are you guys doing? The rest
+of you, while they rush off to go about their
+
+errands.
+
+TRAVIS: Apparently eating less of my bacon,
+motherfucker.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pack up and head back to
+the circus. Start getting things together.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I think I’ll join you.
+
+MATT: Molly and Yasha are heading back to the
+carnival grounds.
+
+LAURA: I want to go try to buy a map.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, I did actually want to see that map.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll meet you there. Actually, you know
+what? I want to see you see that map.
+
+ASHLEY: I think that’s a great idea. Seeing me see
+a map is something pretty special.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s gorgeous. It’s fabulous.
+
+MATT: You guys, where are you heading off to?
+
+LIAM: I have two places to go. The first, we’re
+going to the Burnished Bibelots. The second is a
+
+surprise. But I know that I whisked you away in a
+hurry the other day and you weren’t done
+
+browsing.
+
+SAM: That sounds lovely and I would like to browse
+there again, but, honestly, Caleb, I am very
+
+worried about you. You have passed out twice in
+the last few days, and unless we get you a healing
+
+potion, there is no promise that you will still be
+alive tomorrow. I think we should go to Natural
+
+Remedies. You distract the owner while I go in the
+back and I steal a healing potion. It’s the only
+
+way to guarantee your safety.
+
+LIAM: Maybe that’s the third place that we go. I
+will point out your point, which was that these
+
+crazy bastards are very distracting and strange,
+yeah?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: So they could be my healing potion, you
+know? We’ll talk about it. Third place. So, drag
+
+her off to the Burnished Bibelots. Boom, in the
+door.
+
+MATT: You head inside. It looks as chaotic as you
+left it. You see what looks to be a small bowl of
+
+heated porridge that’s gathered on the counter,
+and cross-legged on top is the fantastic gnomish
+
+purveyor of the interior, Oglen. “Hello?”
+
+LIAM: Good day to you, sir!
+
+MATT: “Good day to you as well.”
+
+LIAM: I give Nott a little shove over towards the
+shelves and walk up to him, right up to the
+
+counter. What are you eating there? That looks
+good.
+
+MATT: “Breakfast.”
+
+LIAM: All right, yeah. That’s what that is. You
+know, I wanted to thank you for the book. I don’t
+
+know if you read it yourself, but I read it cover
+to cover quickly. It was fascinating and very
+
+useful.
+[aside, quietly] I hope you’re doing stuff over there.
+
+MATT: “All sales are final!”
+
+LIAM: Well, here’s the thing. I have read this
+book and loved it, and if you would like to
+
+purchase it for the low, low price of one gold,
+you can sell it again. You sold it to me for
+
+three. You have it back for one. You can turn a
+profit.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You watch as some of the porridge is
+spilling out the side of his mouth, and he rubs it
+
+off. “All right.” And he pulls a gold coin out of
+his pouch.
+
+LIAM: That is a good decision, and it was a good
+book. I am grateful for the knowledge you have
+
+imparted upon me.
+
+MATT: “Might I have the book?”
+
+LIAM: Oh, of course! It’s right here on the table.
+Sorry, grandfather.
+
+MATT: “All sales are final.”
+
+LIAM: Right. You will not sell that back to me,
+for sure.
+
+MATT: “Do you want it? I can sell it to you for
+three gold.”
+
+LIAM: That’s a good price. Nott, how are you
+doing?
+
+SAM: (chewing) Bacon’s really good!
+
+LIAM: All done for the day?
+
+SAM: I’m looking around for something to swipe.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check. You guys keep
+just shaking down this poor gnome guy.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: Looking around, I mean, a lot of this is
+knick-knacks and inane garbage, and things that
+
+just aren’t quite worth what you’d be looking for.
+You do find one art piece that looks like it’s a
+
+pretty good art piece with a decent frame, might
+be worth a little bit, but that’s the best you can
+
+find. Everything else here looks like it’s the
+dingy side of the Salvation Army.
+
+SAM: Anything small? Ooh! Can I find my old flask
+that I left here?
+
+MATT: Yes, I’ll let you do that. It has not moved
+from where you placed it.
+
+SAM: I’m going to steal back my old flask.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check, please.
+
+LIAM: What is that little dancer toy? Between the
+three red mushrooms on the shelf behind you, is
+
+that a music box there?
+
+MATT: “It is a music box.”
+He takes it and cranks it.
+
+SAM: 24.
+
+MATT: “It was a music box.”
+
+LIAM: It’s lost the magic.
+
+MATT: “I can fix it.”
+
+LIAM: How long would that take?
+
+MATT: He breaks it open, looks inside. “Three
+days.”
+
+LIAM: Okay. Well, I’ll come back and see your work
+in three days. Work on that and your breakfast.
+
+Hey Nott, are you ready?
+
+SAM: Mm-hmm!
+
+LIAM: All right. Good day to you. Happy sales.
+
+MATT: “Happy sales, as well.”
+
+LIAM: Sure. Out the door.
+
+SAM: I rolled a 24.
+
+MATT: Yeah, he did not notice at all.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to head in the direction, dragging
+my goblin friend with me, to that fancy bathhouse
+
+that was described to me last night at the Nestled
+Nook.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way southward. Go ahead
+and make a general charisma check.
+
+LIAM: Charisma check? Well, something I wanted to
+do before we got there, was going to do it maybe
+
+in an alley, but you tell me, is I would like to
+cast Disguise Self on myself. Presumably gone into
+
+an alleyway so no one sees me doing this in the
+middle of the road. I take the form of a man in
+
+very fancy green robes, beautiful blond hair, very
+handsome man, with a vomit stain down the front of
+
+my clothes.
+
+MATT: Okay. Specific and easily done.
+
+LIAM: I drag my little friend along with me. You
+are going to like this, this is something very special.
+
+SAM: I’m excited.
+
+LIAM: Oh, charisma check. Straight charisma?
+
+MATT: Straight charisma. Add your modifier.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it’s 11.
+
+MATT: 11, okay. With your Disguise Self form, it’s
+easy enough for you to ask a few questions, and
+
+eventually you are given directions to what is
+called the Warm Dew Bathhouse. Warm Dew.
+
+LAURA: Warm Doo, D-O-O.
+
+MATT: D-E-W.
+
+LIAM: Dew, dew. There’s a liquid u in that.
+
+TRAVIS: Warm doo. Thank you.
+
+MATT: It’ll be one before you bathe there and the
+other when you leave.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: All right, let’s enter this establishment.
+
+MATT: For as far south as this is, it’s pretty
+decent compared to the other areas. Most of the
+
+Hillsward– you get the sense that a lot of the
+rural farming community that fills out most of
+
+Trostenwald, a lot of the money that gets made
+goes directly to the central portion of this ward,
+
+where this bathhouse is. It’s small, but it’s
+really well put together. As you walk inside, you
+
+can see there are marble busts set on the sides of the
+entrance way, each side. You can see nice
+
+tapestries that are pulled back over the windows,
+and as both of you walk in, you see this young
+
+man, maybe his mid-twenties or so. Human, but he
+looks very thin and sickly, like he had a rough
+
+upbringing, and his general constitution has
+suffered for it. He has a warm smile, and he’s
+
+wearing these long white robes with what looks to
+be a yellowish scarf that’s wrapped around as he
+
+approaches. “Hello and good morning. Can I help
+you?”
+
+LIAM: Yes, one moment. (quietly) Stay close to me
+and let me do the talking. (louder) Hello, please,
+
+don’t focus– my daughter is shy.
+
+MATT: “I’m very sorry.”
+
+LIAM: I’ve had a terrible day. Some disgusting
+derelict has vomited all over me, I smell like
+
+filth, and I would like to spend a couple of hours
+in your finest bath. Maybe not your finest. A good
+
+bath, for a couple of hours. My daughter and I. I
+will need adjoining baths, if you have that. For
+
+modesty’s sake, my daughter and I.
+
+MATT: “That can be done. Of course.” Make a
+persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: (humming) There’s a 12.
+
+MATT: “For two hours, that will run– for two
+baths adjoining, we’ll put it at eight silver pieces.”
+
+LIAM: That’s fine. I definitely have that. I take
+out the eight silver, I slap it down.
+
+MATT: “Wonderful. We’ll show you to your
+bathroom.”
+
+LIAM: Okay. Come along, dear.
+
+SAM: Yes, Vater.
+
+MATT: You guys are escorted to what– It’s really
+off-putting for the two of you. Not only is the
+
+smell clean inside here, but there’s the scent of
+lavender in the hallway, and you hear soft music
+
+in the distance. As you walk past, you do see that
+there is a resident violinist that plays, and you
+
+guys are led to these two–
+
+SAM: This is really nice!
+
+LIAM: Yes, it is.
+
+SAM: They got a violinist over there! I’m sorry,
+zey got a violinist over zere, Vater.
+
+LIAM: That’s meine Liebchen. I’m hoping for a hot
+bath for the both of us. It has been a long bit of travel.
+
+MATT: “Right this way.” Leads you into the
+chambers. There is a glass, fogged window, so the
+
+sunlight comes through, but no one can see
+through. There are some linens set out, a towel,
+
+and two basins that are freshly filled with
+steaming water. You are left into the chamber.
+
+LIAM: Are they separate, though?
+
+MATT: They’re separated by a small wall that’s eye
+length, but you can still talk to each other over it.
+
+LIAM: Excellent. This is called a bath.
+
+SAM: I’ve heard of them.
+
+LIAM: A hot bath. We have been pretty dinged up
+for the past several months, and we might not get
+
+back into something like this for a while, so I
+want you to enjoy it. Go over to your side, and I
+
+will be here. Nott, I’m going to do a bit of
+reading.
+
+SAM: While you bathe?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+SAM: You’ll still be the same Caleb when you’re
+done, right?
+
+LIAM: Yes, I will be the same Caleb.
+
+SAM: I’ve just gotten used to you, and now you’re going
+to change a bit.
+
+LIAM: Trust me, I will not.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: Once she is clear of the wall, I’m going to
+start actually disrobing, although I guess the
+
+illusion stays.
+
+MATT: The illusion stays. Strangely, clothes start
+apparating out of you. (slurping)
+
+MARISHA: It’s like a bad video game glitch. Bad
+texture glitch.
+
+LIAM: Nott, I’m probably going to go quiet for a
+little while.
+
+SAM: No problem. I’ll just be over here, you know,
+bathing.
+
+LIAM: Enjoy it. I find the second book and examine
+it. Am I able to read this?
+
+MATT: You are, actually. There is one incomplete
+arcane inscription in there. Unfortunately, it’s
+
+been too burned, beyond recognition. You can see
+this was a spellbook. Mostly destroyed, but there
+
+are two complete spells in there that, if you wish
+to, you could transcribe over into your book.
+
+Those would be Arcane Lock and Unseen Servant.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+LIAM: So. All my actual clothes are off. I’m going to
+take the book and set it on the edge of the basin.
+
+MATT: Because you paid for it, there is a hinged,
+small desk piece where food can be eaten, or
+
+drinks could be served while people are taking a
+bath.
+
+LIAM: I set it down. I sit with just my legs in
+the bath for a moment, and I look at the book.
+
+[exhales]
+
+SAM: I’m going to find the pitcher of cucumber
+water, dump it on the floor, and eat all the cucumbers.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As you hear over the wall (gobbling).
+
+SAM: Look around for anything in the room that can
+be stolen?
+
+MATT: Plenty of things, actually. No one’s
+watching. There’s a vase that’s really nice. The
+
+doorknob itself is a brass, gold-like material.
+
+SAM: I’ll start working on that.
+
+MATT: Using your thieves’ tools, you can get that
+free, if you want.
+
+SAM: After a while, I put a toe into the water,
+feel it, and I’m like: Nah. I’ll use my empty
+
+flask and fill it up with water.
+
+MATT: Okay. You get a water flask.
+
+SAM: Then work on the doorknob.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a thieves’ tools
+check, adding your dexterity.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+MATT: Add the dexterity and your proficiency.
+
+SAM: Oh. 14.
+
+MATT: There you go. With very little sound, the
+doorknob comes off, and you have now a solid brass
+
+doorknob. There is the vase.
+
+SAM: Is it a big vase?
+
+MATT: It’s like that big. It’s more of a
+decorative flower holder over by the window.
+
+SAM: Sure. I’ll try to get that too.
+
+MATT: Easy. You get it. There’s nobody watching
+you!
+
+SAM: I’ll also save the flowers in a separate
+pouch.
+
+MATT: Okay. There you go.
+
+SAM: Any towels. Ooh, you know what?
+
+MATT: Yeah, the linens can be taken.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take one towel and tear it into
+shreds, and use it to replace any of my bandages
+
+that have worn or fallen off.
+
+MATT: Easy enough. There’s some nice clean
+bandages. Good.
+
+SAM: I’m good.
+
+LIAM: On my side, while all of that is happening,
+two things. One is that when I finally get into
+
+the tub I dip my whole body almost entirely in,
+but not my head or hair. Letting the bruises soak
+
+in the hot water, which feels wonderful. The
+second thing is, while flipping the pages of this
+
+book, very still, I can hear all of this, and it
+is extremely endearing, but I go completely still.
+
+Completely quiet. And read in peace.
+
+MATT: While you guys are taking a bath, the rest
+of you are going off on a shopping trip. Except
+
+for you, you’re going to–
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m going map hunting.
+
+MATT: That’s right. You’re going. Who’s all going
+together?
+
+LAURA: All of us.
+
+MATT: Where are you going?
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to ask Yorda if there’s a
+map maker in town.
+
+TALIESIN: Or if she can draw us a map of how to
+get there.
+
+MATT: “There’s not much of a specific cartographer
+in place. Most of the cartography guilds are up
+
+"north in either Zadash or Rexxentrum. There might
+be one in Alfield? We’re a bit small over here.
+
+"You could ask the general store, or you could
+maybe go to the stockade. They have maps there but
+
+"they use those. You might be able to pay enough
+for them.”
+
+LAURA: I don’t want to go back to the stockade.
+
+MATT: “Then maybe check the general store or any
+of the strange book places might have something
+
+"old and lying in the back.”
+
+LAURA: Ooh, what strange book places?
+
+MATT: “Well, let’s see. There’s the Hillsbrook
+Parchment and Binding. There’s the Burnished
+
+"Bibelots, that I think one of your friends has
+already been to. Those are the two strange book
+
+"places. I’m not much of a reader myself, so I
+couldn’t tell you.”
+
+LAURA: Can you draw me a map of how to get to
+those places?
+
+MARISHA: We’ve already been to the general store.
+
+LAURA: Yes, you’re right. I guess we can try that
+place.
+
+MARISHA: You can still make her draw a map. I
+don’t want to rain on your parade. I’m sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: You just shit all over her.
+
+MARISHA: I totally did.
+
+MATT: She gives you directions.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go on a trip!
+
+MATT: Where are you guys going first?
+
+MARISHA: (singing) General store!
+
+LAURA: We’ve been there before.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) I want to buy another health
+pack!
+
+SAM: Health pack?
+
+MARISHA: I meant a healer’s kit.
+
+LAURA: The general store doesn’t like us very
+much. Oh wait. That healer’s kit, is that the one
+
+you bought when we were together?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: You spent way too much money on it because
+I changed the tag?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. That one.
+
+LAURA: That was great. Now I have it. Cool.
+
+MARISHA: You won twice.
+
+MATT: Everything’s coming up Jester.
+
+LAURA: All right, let’s go back there. They don’t
+like me, but let’s go back there.
+
+MARISHA: I can just pop in if you want to wait
+outside.
+
+LAURA: They don’t like you either.
+
+MARISHA, Yeah, but they like money. Let’s go.
+
+MATT: All right, so you guys make your way to
+Lochward General in the Lochward District. As you
+
+enter, the older woman, Harper Mince, is there in
+the general store. It’s the large, almost wooden
+
+barn exterior. The front door opens two ways, and
+the inside is wall-to-wall lined with tools for
+
+farming and farming equipment for building.
+There’s lumber. There’s all sorts of iron nails.
+
+It’s by all accounts a rural general store.
+
+You see on far end is Harper, the older
+woman there, standing and looking out at the rest
+
+of you. “Hi, can I help you? What are you looking
+for?”
+
+LAURA: We are looking for pickles, did you get any
+yet?
+
+MATT: “No, we don’t sell pickles here, sorry.”
+
+LAURA: Most general stores have pickles, this is
+the only thing.
+
+MARISHA: You’re not wrong, generally, yeah.
+
+MATT: “We can order some pickles, if you like.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you probably should. I think you
+would do well if you sold pickles. Do you have
+
+maps for sale of the area?
+
+MATT: “The area? Let me check. I’ll be right
+back.”
+
+LAURA: Does she leave the room?
+
+MATT: Yeah, she does. She leaves the room.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t– put your hands in your pockets.
+
+LAURA: Don’t put my hands in my pockets, got it! I
+start running around and just moving everything on
+
+the shelves again the same way as before.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+SAM: You’re just moving things?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, just like moving–
+
+TRAVIS: Please be Laura when she was five and
+break shit.
+
+LAURA: Oh yes! 18 plus five.
+
+TALIESIN: This is beautiful.
+
+MATT: With nary a squeak you completely rearrange
+in a period of about two and a half minutes most
+
+of the price cards that are dangling from a number
+of the tools, their placement. You guys all sit
+
+back and watch as this glorious display– you can
+almost hear the William Tell Overture begin to
+
+play in the back of your head as she rummages back
+and forth throughout the interior of the chamber,
+
+turning things around and sticking them in the
+ground. It has been completely rearranged.
+
+LIAM: [old man voice] Why
+is this crowbar seven gold?
+
+MATT: Eventually you hear some rummaging from the
+back room and some footsteps coming nearby and you
+
+quickly stop and return to your original point
+there and Harper Mince returns from the back room.
+
+She has a few papers in her arms. She goes, “I’m
+sorry, we don’t have any maps of the local area
+
+for detail. I have a map of the Dwendalian Empire
+as a whole, I hope that’s enough.”
+
+LAURA: I mean, that could work, I suppose. It’s
+not what we need, but if that’s what you have
+
+that’s what we can buy from you.
+
+MATT: “All right, let me look at the date here.
+This will run about seven silver.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, that sounds like a good price, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Can I also get another healer’s kit? If
+you have one.
+
+MATT: “Right, yes, let me go ahead and get that
+for you here.” The healer’s kit. Looking up the
+
+pricing in the equipment section.That is five gold
+pieces for the healer’s kit.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MARISHA: Five gold.
+
+MATT: All right, mark it off. You get yourself a
+secondary healer’s kit.
+
+MARISHA: Well, one healer’s kit. She’s got the
+other one.
+
+MATT: You hand over the seven silver?
+
+LAURA: Yes, I do.
+
+MATT: She takes it and put the ribbon back on it.
+
+Finally get to give that to you guys.
+
+LIAM: Shut the front door!
+
+LAURA: And I have a pretty ribbon out of it.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to Goonies this really
+quickly here. Ready?
+
+LAURA: What the fuck?!
+
+SAM: That’s beautiful! Who made this? Did you make
+this?
+
+MATT: I designed the layout, but the map is made
+by a wonderful woman named Deven Rue, who does
+
+incredible handcrafted maps.
+
+SAM: You got to get a camera on this shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Hold it up!
+
+MARISHA: Put it in the middle.
+
+TALIESIN: Take a look, it’s amazing!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god!
+
+MARISHA: Wait, where are we?
+
+MATT: You guys are in Trostenwald, right there.
+This is north, this is south.
+
+SAM: Angle it to that camera.
+
+LAURA: What camera?
+
+ALL: Wow.
+
+MATT: This is the Dwendalian Empire. This is not
+all of Wildemount, this is just a portion. Deven
+
+did an incredible job with this. You should follow
+her on Patreon or Twitter, she does amazing work.
+
+She does incredible work.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, you guys, let’s go all of these
+places.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe not all of them.
+
+LAURA: Okay, we are definitely going to visit this
+place called Hupperdook.
+
+SAM: I think I had one of those this morning.
+
+[laughter]
+
+LAURA: Then we’ll make our way up to Nogvuror. Oh
+man, this is awesome. Hey look, look over here!
+
+This is where I live!
+
+SAM: There be dragons there.
+
+TALIESIN: You live in a serpent?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: By the way, Deven, who did the map, it is
+her birthday today.
+
+MARISHA: Happy birthday, Deven!
+
+LAURA: Damn, this is amazing! Okay, I’ll leave it
+up here.
+
+TALIESIN: If you pull out a real medi-kit now I’m
+going to be really excited. 50 bandages come
+
+flying in…
+
+ASHLEY: That is so beautiful.
+
+MATT: She did an incredible job. The exchange is
+done, you have your map. Anything else you guys
+
+want to handle?
+
+TALIESIN: Medi-kit?
+
+MARISHA: I got it.
+
+LAURA: Can I just look around and see if there’s
+anything interesting to buy in here, like–
+
+MATT: There’s plenty of tools. There are various
+packs of supplies.
+
+LAURA: I guess if I bought the painter’s kit then
+it just stays and I don’t run out of that.
+
+MATT: Over time you would run out of it.
+
+LAURA: But I’m good on paint?
+
+MATT: Good for a while.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I actually approach the storekeep and
+say: do you know of any stores that have arcane
+
+items, things with magical properties, healing
+potions?
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, we’re a bit out of the center of
+the country for arcane items. You’d want to go
+
+further north for that.”
+
+TRAVIS: Further north? I appreciate your time,
+thank you.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+MARISHA: This town blows.
+
+TRAVIS: She’s right fucking there.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t care.
+
+[laughter]
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we depart?
+
+LAURA: Sure. Thank you so much for this beautiful
+map. You did a really good job drawing it.
+
+MATT: Take your map.
+
+ASHLEY: I also really like what you’ve done with
+the place.
+
+MATT: “Thank you very much–”
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go, bye! Thank you!
+
+MATT: “I– um…”
+
+TRAVIS: Gotta go!
+
+MARISHA: [bell dangling noises]
+
+MATT: As you guys all exit, she begins to come
+around the counter.
+
+TALIESIN: I like the idea of you just
+standing there going, [bell dangling noises]
+
+LAURA: Wherever we go, I’m going to bury my head
+in the map and walk behind everybody like a total
+
+tourist.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, that’s the question: are we going
+to be able to grab a cart or two from the circus?
+
+MATT: You can probably get a cart.
+
+TALIESIN: Like one of the little vardos? Can we
+snag a vardo?
+
+MATT: Technically it’s a vardo and the three of
+them took it. There’s a vardo and then there’s
+
+some carts. You weren’t rolling with a pretty
+heavy– honestly, most of the room in the carts
+
+was either for carrying you guys, whatever small
+bags you had with you, and the poles you would
+
+assemble to make the tent. Are you guys done with
+your business? Anything else you want to do while
+
+you’re out and about?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s it for me.
+
+LAURA: There’s nowhere we can buy healing potions
+in this city?
+
+MATT: There’s Natural Remedies, which you’ve
+passed before, but not entered. It’s an herbal
+
+healers establishment.
+
+LAURA: Let’s try that.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very wary of this, but fine.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s going to smell like “Sephoria,” I
+know it.
+
+LAURA: Sephora.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the fancy version.
+
+MATT: Now, you guys had left earlier, so as you
+guys head toward Natural Remedies, you guys finish
+
+your bath.
+
+LIAM: I pack up. I said we’re staying for an
+hour, so I cast Disguise Self again to
+
+keep the illusion going. I’m done, you look–
+
+SAM: I splashed some water on my face.
+
+LIAM: –refreshed.
+
+SAM: Oh, it was such a good bath. I’m ready to go
+now, I feel refreshed.
+
+LIAM: Did you like it, though?
+
+SAM: It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
+
+LIAM: I wanted to repay you for all you’ve done
+for me for the past couple of days.
+
+SAM: Consider it paid! You look the same. Does he
+look the same?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: The brief moment that I was in my own guise
+nothing changed up here, so I look exactly the way
+
+I did this morning.
+
+LAURA: What’s the purpose of that?
+
+LIAM: Who said that? You wanted to do something,
+right?
+
+SAM: I wanted to go to Herbal Remedies and see if
+we could get you a healing potion.
+
+LIAM: Let’s do that, then. You lead the way. Well
+wait, you lead the way outside. Let’s keep our
+
+little schtick going here and then off we go.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys exit–
+
+SAM: Auf Wiedersehen!
+
+MATT: “I trust you enjoyed your time at the bath,
+thank you.”
+
+LIAM: Yes, but we have to go. Sorry, I’m late for
+a very important appointment. I drag Nott right
+
+out of here because I saw no doorknob on the
+door.
+
+MATT: Yeah, amongst other things. You guys make
+your way out and beeline it towards the Lochward
+
+to where you would find Natural Remedies. The rest
+of you guys, as you approach the exterior, amongst the
+
+rest of the buildings in the central city, Natural
+Remedies is, for lack of a better term, humble.
+
+It’s a small shack, but as soon as you approach it
+has very strong, pungent smells of funguses.
+
+TRAVIS: Instant headache.
+
+MATT: Yep. On the outside you can see, right where
+the doorway is open, there are strings of herbs
+
+that are tied up and left to dry out. On the
+inside, you can already see that there are shelves
+
+of various flora and fauna that are being
+cultivated for various remedies and means of
+
+selling to anybody who wants to come by and
+procure herbal medicines. Let’s see who’s
+
+handling this one, because you guys have not been
+here yet. As you enter the main chamber–
+
+LIAM: Sorry, I will say that on the way there
+that I dropped the disguise, somewhere.
+
+MATT: Okay, easily enough, so you guys haven’t
+arrived yet. You guys have arrived. As you enter the interior,
+
+it’s a very musty smell on the inside, too.
+There’s a lot of fungus being grown on the inside
+
+here, and you can see that elements of it may have
+expanded into the corners of the actual room and
+
+it’s not necessarily the nicest space to be
+wandering in. It seems natural. Across the way,
+
+you see a gentleman of relatively tanned skin,
+with darker hair that’s ratty and clustered. He’s
+
+in his late twenties or so, looks to be upon
+closer inspection partial elven blood, partial
+
+human blood, and he’s in the process of carefully
+carving a large stalk of what looks like a fungus
+
+off of a small pot that he pulled off one of the
+shelves. As you enter, he doesn’t even make eye
+
+contact. He goes, “Hello, please, just wait a
+moment. There we are. Hi, can I help you?”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, my friends keep dying. Do you have any
+health potions?
+
+MATT: “We have a handful, that is correct. How
+many are you looking to purchase?”
+
+LAURA: How many do you have?
+
+MATT: “Four.”
+
+LAURA: Ooh. That will last us probably, like, a
+day.
+
+MATT: “What do you do for a living?”
+
+LAURA: We’re superheroes.
+
+TALIESIN: Sword jugglers.
+
+MATT: “Why would– Fine, who am I to ask?”
+
+MARISHA: Look at this bruise.
+
+MATT: “I cut fungus for a living.”
+
+MARISHA: Look, it’s in the shape of a dick.
+
+MATT: “I’m not going to ask. Four? Did you want
+them?”
+
+LAURA: Sure, yes. How much for four healing
+potions?
+
+MATT: “For four healing potions,” and he pulls
+them out and plops them on the table, “240 gold pieces.”
+
+TALIESIN: Level two.
+
+LAURA: Okay, hold on. I open up my pack and I pour
+out all my money. I start counting it.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you have a deal, you know, if we got
+all of them? That seems pretty high. Right? That
+
+seems pretty high for a healing potion.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check with disadvantage.
+Yasha: the wheeler and dealer.
+
+ASHLEY: Three.
+
+MATT: “No, actually, I think it’s rather standard
+in these parts. But I can put them back.”
+
+TALIESIN: Healing potions aside, you are doing
+something really interesting and exciting here.
+
+You’re not a healing potion dealer. What are you
+doing here? Like this is fascinating.
+
+MATT: “Oh, I create all sorts of means of tending
+to wounds and loss of stamina. To be honest, a lot
+
+"of people come around here for
+performance-enhancing fungus.”
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know, I feel like you can excite
+me. I feel like there’s something that you have to
+
+show that’s really exciting. I’m not entirely sure
+it’s all about stamina, I think you’ve got
+
+something– you did that on purpose. Talk to me
+like I’m a child, show me something I’ve never
+
+seen before.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TALIESIN: Not with advantage, because I don’t have
+it, but I was so excited.
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+TALIESIN: Persuasion check. 19. I’m fishing for
+drugs, I’m not going to lie. I’ve been on the road
+
+a long time, I don’t remember how to do this.
+
+MATT: He leans in close to you. “Mind closing the
+door?”
+
+TALIESIN: I skip over to the door and gingerly
+close it.
+
+MATT: “Keep curious company, that’s true.”
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, I do. And we’re leaving town
+today.
+
+MATT: “Those are magical words for a man of my
+business. Are you a fan of skein?”
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t actually know what that is.
+
+MATT: “Well,” and he goes back into the back
+chamber, comes back with a small satchel. There’s
+
+a finely dried, dusted material on the inside, it
+has a grayish-blue color to it. He goes, “This is
+
+"a dried and ground fungus called skein. It’s
+called skein because when you eat it you can see
+
+"the weave of time.”
+
+MARISHA: Is that what skein means?
+
+MATT: “It’s a woven skein, it’s a joke on fate–
+never mind.”
+
+TALIESIN: I thought it was very clever.
+
+MATT: “Thank you very much. It’s effective, it’s
+popular on the outskirts where it’s not so heavily
+
+"controlled and carries a huge jail-time if caught.
+How much are you looking to purchase?”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got to be honest, I’m not made of
+money, but I’m always curious for a new experience.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do an insight check on this guy?
+
+MATT: Sure, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: See if he’s trying to scam us.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Can I use my criminal background?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: All right, Marisha said that, not
+Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: To know if he’s actually giving what he’s
+giving?
+
+MATT: You know what? Make your insight check.
+
+MARISHA: Just straight insight.
+
+MATT: Straight insight.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not as good as I would’ve hoped.
+18.
+
+MATT: Not as good as I hoped: 18.
+
+LIAM: That’s a slam dunk at level two.
+
+MATT: Seems on the level, seems excited that
+somebody’s asking about it. You get the sense
+
+that maybe he makes a lot of this either for
+himself or in hopes that somebody asks about it
+
+and is seemingly excited that somebody in this
+bumfuck town, in his opinion, would even have
+
+interest. You have once encountered this substance
+before, and it does seem legit.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: How do we know if it’s good quality,
+though? Can I give it a sample?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, this might be complicated, I think
+that just– What would–
+
+TRAVIS: How about a few experiences?
+
+TALIESIN: A few experiences’ worth. What would that
+run me?
+
+MATT: Hey guys, we’re dealing D&D drugs.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for dragging
+the entire audience into this. Hopefully your
+
+children are already asleep, I do apologize.
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond, everybody. Our sponsor for the
+evening.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you for really bringing that to
+earth for me. You started this.
+
+MATT: “I’ll put you in at a gold an experience,
+how about that?”
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Yeah, put me in for one. I’ll
+try anything once.
+
+MATT: He takes a small little batch of this dried,
+powdered fungus, and puts it into a small glass
+
+vial, corks it, and hands it over.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, you might as well make another one.
+I’m not going to let my friend experience it alone.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s it called? Skein?
+
+MATT: Skein. S-K-E-I-N. I believe that’s how it’s
+spelled.
+
+LAURA: Yasha, you should take it with them. Right
+now. It’ll be fun.
+
+TALIESIN: No, this is not how this works. This is
+not how this works. We bank our moments for those
+
+moments when life is disappointing.
+
+TRAVIS: I know a unique substance when I see it,
+I’ll take one as well.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+MARISHA: One for me too.
+
+TALIESIN: This can come in handy in all sorts of
+ways.
+
+MATT: God damn it, guys.
+
+TALIESIN: The fact that you had this ready means
+that there is no shame here. You were ready for this.
+
+MATT: You’re right, I am not making any of this up
+on the spot at all.
+
+TALIESIN: I know, I can tell!
+
+LIAM: This guy went from the Simpson’s Safeway
+clerk to the shadiest motherfucker in a snap of
+
+time, because of your question.
+
+TALIESIN: A big, purple, pierced demon walked into
+the room and was like, hello.
+
+LIAM: Yes, can I help you, good sir? Yes, I can
+help you.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll tell you what, because you are such a
+purveyor of such interesting items, I will take
+
+one of those health potions, but for 50 gold.
+That’s the running price I’ve seen in neighboring
+
+towns, and I don’t mean to be swindled.
+
+MARISHA: I assume you’d want to go ahead and give
+it to us for that so that we keep this a secret.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check, with advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: “50 gold,” and he pulls his hair back a bit,
+“Seems fair.” Takes a potion and hands it over. He
+
+scoops a little vial and says, “And for fun.” He
+throws it over.
+
+LIAM: You fucking badass.
+
+SAM: Cut to an hour later, and someone’s jamming
+an adrenaline needle.
+
+MATT: TPK by misuse?
+
+TALIESIN: Somewhere around level eight, this is
+going to be hilarious. Somewhere around level
+
+eight somebody’s going to go shopping and the rest
+of us are going to be like: this is now, this is
+
+happening now.
+
+MATT: This has become the longest afterschool
+special I think we’ve ever experienced.
+
+TALIESIN: Years in the making.
+
+MATT: He immediately gets nervous at her mention
+of–
+
+TALIESIN: She’s fine, she’s just awful, you’re a
+gentleman, I hope to see you again. I’m looking
+
+forward to this.
+
+MATT: “I’ll be here.”
+
+TALIESIN: Of course, we never met you, you never
+met us.
+
+MATT: “Of course not. I don’t know who you are.”
+
+TALIESIN: I am already out the door, with a
+flourish.
+
+MATT: At which point, you run outside just as
+Caleb and Nott are approaching.
+
+MARISHA: Before I go out I say, nice to meet you,
+mister–?
+
+MATT: “Davies.”
+
+TRAVIS: The decision was still happening by the
+time you got to the last letter.
+
+MARISHA: I go: Okay, Davies.
+
+LAURA: I guess I’ll scoop my money back into
+my pouch and leave.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want anything?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MATT: You bump into Caleb and Nott on the way
+out.
+
+LIAM: What’s the matter, do you have a cold?
+
+LAURA: You don’t smell bad, what did you do?
+
+MATT: Actually, ironically, his clothes do still
+smell pretty bad, and he still looks awful.
+
+LAURA: You don’t smell as bad.
+
+MATT: That’s true, on a gradient scale, he does
+smell a little better.
+
+LIAM: I will take that as a compliment, thank you.
+What are you guys doing here, are you shopping?
+
+What do they have in there?
+
+LAURA: They bought drugs.
+
+TRAVIS: That is an over-exaggeration.
+
+TALIESIN: That is an extreme over-exaggeration. We
+got a health potion.
+
+SAM: All of you?
+
+MARISHA: Well, it was kind of a ploy to get a
+cheaper health potion.
+
+TALIESIN: It worked.
+
+MARISHA: And we got drugs on top of it. It was a
+win-win, am I right?
+
+LAURA: If you guys go in there and you buy a
+health potion, don’t spend as much as he says,
+
+because apparently he was lying.
+
+LIAM: How much do they run for?
+
+TRAVIS: Health potions were quoted at 70, but he
+was kind enough to understand that 50 was enough.
+
+LIAM: 70?
+
+TRAVIS: Gold pieces.
+
+SAM: North we go.
+
+TALIESIN: North, to the horses.
+
+LIAM: We have a plan for the day?
+
+LAURA: Yes, and I show them the map that we just
+got. We’re heading that way. Can I take the ribbon
+
+that was wrapped around the map and tie it around
+one of my horns?
+
+MATT: Easily enough.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cute.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+SAM: We could rob the store.
+
+LIAM: Do you have a strategy for that?
+
+SAM: I mean, we could use one of our pre-planned
+strategies.
+
+LIAM: Which one would that be? Because I was
+thinking about it on the walk here and I can’t
+
+think which one applies.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, robbing shady people
+is usually a bad idea.
+
+MARISHA: Do we hear them doing these plans? Do we
+hear you guys making this plan?
+
+LIAM: No, I wouldn’t be saying this out loud if
+you’re close.
+
+SAM: We could just do the simplest: the Prince and
+the Pauper.
+
+LIAM: Here’s the thing, I have died almost twice
+in two days. We have our friends and I think
+
+that’s a good way to start.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: I mean, you know, we almost all got pinched
+yesterday.
+
+SAM: You’re right, we should leave town with our
+wits about us and full of health. Let’s just go
+
+while we’re ahead. Besides, I got plenty of stuff
+today.
+
+LIAM: You and me?
+
+SAM: Yeah, let’s go.
+
+LIAM: All right. Okay, where are we going first?
+
+LAURA: We’re heading north to–
+
+LIAM: Is it this big?
+
+MATT: That’s the size of the map.
+
+LAURA: I mean, we can stop through Alfield first
+and see if there’s anything cool there, or– what
+
+city was it that the academy was in?
+
+MARISHA: “Solstryce?”
+
+MATT and TRAVIS: Soltryce.
+
+MARISHA: Is that the name of the town?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I don’t think it’s the name of the
+town.
+
+LAURA: I mean, the ultimate goal, you guys, is to
+get to Hupperdook, but–
+
+TALIESIN: What about Yogurt?
+
+LAURA: That’s an afterthought.
+
+TALIESIN: It usually is.
+
+LIAM: How far off does Hupperdook look?
+
+LAURA: Well, we have to pass through Felderwin and
+the Felderwin Village first.
+
+SAM: Let’s skip that one, please.
+
+LAURA: Oh, is that the one you don’t like? Okay,
+then we’ll go up through Alfield, and then Zadash,
+
+and then we’ll cut across and go to Hupperdook.
+
+MARISHA: Is that where your clan is from?
+
+SAM: They roam about.
+
+ASHLEY: You don’t want to go to Zadash, is that
+right?
+
+MARISHA: Nah, it’s cool. We can go back.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s cool now?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, there’s a few places that I
+didn’t get to see in my sight-seeing roundabout,
+
+didn’t get to hit everything. Now that I’ve slept
+on it, I’ve had a change of heart. It’s a nice town.
+
+LAURA: How long of a travel would it be to get to
+Zadash from where we are now?
+
+MATT: Following the road is longer, but it’s
+safest. That’ll probably be close to 200 miles to Zadash.
+
+SAM: Jesus. We’re on foot.
+
+TALIESIN: No, we’ve got a cart.
+
+SAM: A cart.
+
+MATT: You do have a cart. A single cart.
+
+LAURA: A horse? Let’s go back to the inn and ask
+Yorda if she knows if Alfield is a big city.
+
+LIAM: Do I have any knowledge of Alfield?
+
+TALIESIN: I came though Alfield, didn’t I?
+
+MATT: No, you guys traveled around. You went from
+Felderwin, and curved around to the Ustaloch.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s right.
+
+MATT: Alfield is actually slightly smaller than
+Trostenwald, it’s a stop on the way to Zadash.
+
+Zadash is the second-largest city in the kingdom.
+
+MARISHA: What do I know about Zadash that I could
+tell them? Can I tell them anything?
+
+MATT: It was the last conquered bastion of the
+previous government before the empire entirely
+
+took the valley.
+
+MARISHA: That’s right. Zadash is on the edge of
+the empire too, right?
+
+MATT: It was, but now it’s more central. It
+expanded past and took over Trostenwald, Alfield,
+
+it expanded all the way into the valley.
+
+LIAM: Will you share your map with me for just
+one minute?
+
+LAURA: Of course.
+
+SAM: This is a good trick he does. He can look at
+it once and it will stay with him forever.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+SAM: Yes, it’s amazing, you can quiz him on it later.
+While he’s memorizing it, Yasha, is that your name again?
+
+ASHLEY: Yasha.
+
+SAM; It’s like Ash, with an -ay.
+
+ASHLEY: Not really, but close enough.
+
+SAM: I got you these flowers.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+SAM: Thought that they might gussy you up a bit.
+It’s a lot of drab colors. Also, maybe you won’t
+
+kill me now.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m not going to kill you.
+
+SAM: I know, I gave you the flowers.
+
+ASHLEY: All right, well.
+
+SAM: Girls like flowers.
+
+LAURA: I love flowers, did you get me any?
+
+SAM: I didn’t, because you’re less of a threat.
+
+LAURA: You don’t know that.
+
+ASHLEY: That was very nice of you, thank you.
+
+SAM: Sure!
+
+MARISHA: Didn’t peg you for a flowers type of
+girl.
+
+SAM: All girls like flowers.
+
+ASHLEY: I take out a book that I have and in
+between some of the pages is a four-leaf clover.
+
+I’ll take the flowers and I’ll put them in between
+the other pages, and I’ll put it away.
+
+SAM: You see?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It doesn’t hurt to be nice sometimes.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, it can, though.
+
+SAM: Well it hurts you.
+
+LIAM: It looks like somebody was very nice to you
+the night before, over and over again.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, she was.
+
+LAURA: You guys, we are going to Zadash. Is that
+what we’re saying, we’re going to go to Zadash?
+
+LIAM: Sure, let’s do that. What’s our goal in
+Zadash?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, I just need to know where
+we’re going, okay?
+
+MARISHA: That’s on the way to the “Solstryce”
+Academy?
+
+MATT: The Soltryce. Solstice, I can see you mixing
+it up. The Soltryce is technically in Rexxentrum,
+
+which is the capital of the empire.
+
+LAURA: Which is a lot farther.
+
+MATT: Which is a lot farther. Zadash does have the
+only other subsidiary of the academy there, but
+
+the main Soltryce academy is in Rexxentrum, the
+capital. But Zadash has some connection to it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take it.
+
+LIAM: Unless you’re a foreigner, everyone knows
+about Rexxentrum.
+
+MATT: Yes, it’s huge. For player comparison, it’s
+twice the size of Emon. It’s a massive city.
+
+LAURA: Zadash?
+
+MATT: No, not Zadash, Rexxentrum.
+
+LIAM: Zadash is medium, or smaller.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: How far did that map say, when I looked
+at it? 200 miles you said to Zadash?
+
+MATT: To Zadash, roughly 200 miles or so, if
+you’re taking the road, quicker if you take a
+
+straight line, but you’re not as safe.
+
+LIAM: Well, I think it’s good.
+
+SAM: Are we going to walk there? Should we get
+horses?
+
+TALIESIN: We have a horse.
+
+LIAM: How many horses?
+
+TALIESIN: We have a horse.
+
+MARISHA: A horse and a carriage. I’m assuming it
+can’t fit all of us.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, like a wagon.
+
+TALIESIN: We have a wagon.
+
+MATT: It’ll be about the same pace as on foot. At
+a fast pace on foot, you guys can traverse about
+
+30 miles a day. That also means you’re moving at a
+fast pace, so you’re not being completely aware of
+
+your surroundings, you have a penalty to passively
+seeing things around you. But you get there quicker.
+
+TRAVIS: I like it.
+
+TALIESIN: Why be fast? What are we in a rush for?
+
+LAURA: We can sightsee.
+
+TALIESIN: I find careful is always best.
+
+LIAM: A couple of weeks on the road to a city
+bigger than this one.
+
+MARISHA: Are we all going to get along for a
+couple of weeks?
+
+SAM: We’ll find out, I suppose.
+
+LAURA: I get along with everyone, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true, that’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t get along with anybody.
+
+MARISHA: That’s also true.
+
+LIAM: Two weeks is not a bad test run for
+companions. If we don’t like it, we part ways in Zadash.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, free to go at any time. As long as
+it serves everyone, we’ll stay this way.
+
+ASHLEY: I think I need to stay here just a little
+bit longer. But I will meet you guys there at some point?
+
+SAM: Why?! What’re you doing?
+
+LIAM: You have something else to do?
+
+ASHLEY: I just don’t think I can leave here until
+I’m told I can.
+
+SAM: By the authorities?
+
+ASHLEY: No, I just–
+
+SAM: You’re so mysterious
+
+ASHLEY: I have things that I need to do–
+
+SAM: Name one.
+
+TALIESIN: You know where we’re headed.
+
+MATT: Blindspot.
+
+MARISHA: Poor Ashley, we make her come up with
+excuses every time.
+
+ASHLEY: I have reasons, I can stay, I just need to
+converse with somebody to see where my next step leads.
+
+MARISHA: You know you’re not beholden to Gustav
+anymore, right?
+
+ASHLEY: No, yes, no. It’s not him.
+
+MARISHA: Is it Bo? The other Bo? Is it Desmond?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+MARISHA: Is it Ornna?
+
+SAM: Please, Beau, let the detectives figure this
+out. Is it Desmond?
+
+LAURA: Is it Ornna?
+
+SAM: It’s Ornna, isn’t it? It’s Ornna, I knew it.
+
+LAURA: Will you hold this?
+
+SAM: Yes, of course. See? Another case cracked. It
+was Ornna.
+
+LAURA: Before we leave, is there anywhere in town
+that there would be a courier service where I could
+
+send a message?
+
+MATT: There are messenger services, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Can I go find one?
+
+MATT: Yeah, okay. For the purposes of brevity,
+we’ll say that you find a courier service that
+
+runs fast horseback all along the roads from the
+Empire, and then with approval, outside of it,
+
+to the south and west.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to write a letter to my mother
+that says, “Dear Mom, all of the money’s gone. I
+
+"don’t know what happened, but I am very broke and
+I need more. Please help me. I am going to Zadash.
+
+"That’s where you can send it. Just send it to the
+inn that is the biggest one and I’ll find it
+
+"there. Just address it to me. Your loving
+daughter, Jester. Please, thank you, I need help,
+
+"thank you.”
+
+MATT: All right. For delivery to Nicodranas, the
+cost of the courier service will run you about
+
+five gold.
+
+LAURA: This is really fucking– She better send
+money, because this is eating into it.
+
+MATT: That’s hundreds and hundreds of miles on
+horseback.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll give the five gold for that.
+
+TALIESIN: It is such a different world.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Welcome to level… three, after
+tonight.
+
+SAM: Oh! If we live.
+
+MARISHA: While we’re stopping by the post office,
+can I talk to the courier person?
+
+MATT: Sure. It’s a young girl with short-ish
+brushed hair, she’s boyish and freckled, and a
+
+bit dirty in the edges of her chin, she’s in the
+process of loading up the packs on the horse, and
+
+she’s wearing simple leather armor, and looks back
+at you. “Can I help you?”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I was just wondering if you had any
+incoming mail for the Baumbauchs? I said that I
+
+would pick it up on the way home, heading over
+there.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+SAM: Mail fraud on the way out of town.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good! 20. No. Deception? 19
+total.
+
+MATT: “Let me check. Yeah, actually, we’ve got three
+small parcels on the way to the Baumbauchs there.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you so much. He’s going to be so
+happy to not have to run this errand. Thank you,
+
+bye. Oh, sorry, here you go. I give her a gold.
+
+MATT: “That’s very kind, thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Have a good day.
+
+MATT: Hops onto the horse and takes off
+southward.
+
+TALIESIN: Mail fraud.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go.
+
+TALIESIN: That is actually the worst crime we’ve
+committed today.
+
+MARISHA: You said how many? Three parcels?
+
+MATT: Three parcels.
+
+ASHLEY: When you get to Zadash, maybe send me a
+note, or maybe I’ll be there. I just have to do a
+
+couple things.
+
+LAURA: We’ll send you a note on the way to Zadash.
+Then maybe you can meet us there.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. That sounds like a plan.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we have our fucking wagon ready?
+
+TALIESIN: Wagon’s ready. I’ve even attempted to hide
+some of the contraband and otherwise. I packed well.
+
+LIAM: While everyone is getting ready, I wait for
+a moment when Fjord is on his own and everyone is
+
+busy, walk over. This group seems rough around the
+edges, but you seem clever. Hopefully we can make
+
+this work.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we should be able to, yeah. I
+mean, a little guidance goes a long way. You seem
+
+to be good at looking out for Nott.
+
+LIAM: I mean, full disclosure, I’m a little rough
+around the edges, but you catch my drift.
+
+TRAVIS: I do. You can trust us. You’re safe here.
+I’m concerned with what happens with Jester and
+
+Beau. I think, amongst all of us, we should be
+fine.
+
+LIAM: Let’s make it work.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll make it work.
+
+SAM: Fjord, something in me says that, for some
+reason, you should be the one who tells the horses
+
+and wagon to go.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It just seems– you’re the biggest, maybe?
+
+TRAVIS: That is mighty considerate of you, Nott.
+Are you sure you don’t want to take a crack at it?
+
+SAM: I could take a crack at it. The wagons be
+hitched, hee-haw.
+
+TRAVIS: Use your diaphragm. Really get a yee-haw,
+get in there.
+
+SAM: Saddle up your doggies, hee-haw.
+
+TRAVIS: One more time, on the count of three. One,
+two, three. On three, I push his chest in.
+
+SAM: Yee-haw!
+
+MATT: All right. With that, her vocal expulsion is
+majestic and sudden. Make an animal handling check
+
+with advantage, please.
+
+SAM: With advantage? Six. I’m still a scary
+goblin.
+
+MATT: The sound that comes out is less of a
+“Yee-haw,” and more of a screech sound. The horse
+
+immediately rises up and goes into a very heavy
+gallop, and the cart takes off ahead of you, and
+
+you all struggle to catch up for a bit. With that,
+you guys quickly try and saunter up, heading
+
+northward along the road towards the direction of
+Alfield, and eventually Zadash, as you head
+
+further into the Dwendalian Empire, and whatever
+fate has in store for you the next leg of your
+
+journey. We’ll stop tonight’s session there.
+
+SAM: Ashley Johnson, ladies and gentlemen.
+
+LIAM: Yee-haw.
+
+ALL: Yee-haw.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we committed felonies and mail
+fraud. That’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: Quite a few. Got into a bar fight.
+
+LAURA: We skipped town without paying our inn
+fees.
+
+SAM: We bought drugs.
+
+TRAVIS: We bought a little bit of mold.
+
+MATT: You paid your inn fee.
+
+LAURA: We did pay on the way in. I did pay for a
+few days when we got in. I guess that is probably enough.
+
+LIAM: Oh my gosh, and Sneaky McSneakerson over
+here. Oh boy.
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah. Who knows what Marisha did while we
+were out there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we got to go back and not watch that
+later.
+
+MARISHA: Like the three rules of Fight Club.
+
+MATT: You guys are all level three when you come
+back next week.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god, we got to shop. We got to book
+shop.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, this is fun.
+
+MATT: Yeah, thank you guys for sticking around for
+a less intense, more character-driven episode,
+
+these early days of figuring each other out and
+forming a fellowship. This is fun, I love it.
+
+LIAM: Bunch of assholes.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+TALIESIN: Bunch of assholes!
+
+LIAM: That’s the name.
+
+MATT: Thank you guys for watching. Thank you
+again, Deven, for being an incredible artist, and
+
+an incredible mapmaker for working with me on
+that. Her Twitter– I should’ve had this prepared
+
+in advance! You can follow Deven on Twitter
+@devenrue, Mistress of Maps. Her work is
+
+incredible. She has a Patreon, which I’m a patron
+for, you should be too. It’s her birthday, so say
+
+happy birthday to her.
+
+ALL: Happy Birthday!
+
+MATT: All right, guys, have a wonderful week.
+Ashley, come back.
+
+ASHLEY: Hopefully soon, I never know. I’ll try.
+
+LAURA: So glad you were here.
+
+MATT: If anybody from Blindspot is watching right
+now, kill off her character. I mean, don’t do
+
+that, but we want her back.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think any of them are watching.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. We just miss her a lot. We’ll see
+you guys back next week. Much love to you, much
+
+love to you, and is it Thursday yet?
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons. Some of us are mentally
+
+lagging a little, but that’s okay. It’s been a
+long day. Welcome, guys. Before we jump into
+
+tonight’s session, we’re going to do some quick
+announcements. First and foremost, thank you to
+
+our returning sponsor and partner at the start of
+this campaign, and for the foreseeable, amorphous
+
+future of which they wish to come along with us on
+this journey, D&D Beyond. They’ve been awesome and
+
+I actually just learned today of a really helpful
+functionality that I probably should have known
+
+about, where you can create your own campaign in
+there and then send out a link to all your players
+
+and their characters get added to your campaign.
+Now I have access to all of your character sheets
+
+at all times, which alleviates me having to text
+you all, “What’s your maximum hit points now?” and
+
+all that shit.
+
+LAURA: Did you just have them? Or do we need to
+send you our characters?
+
+MATT: Well no, I sent out the link earlier today
+and you’re one of the only ones who hasn’t
+
+responded yet, but you will, later, that’s okay.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t see it, I was recording.
+
+MATT: That’s okay, so were we.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I didn’t look at my phone.
+
+TRAVIS: What a dick.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: It’s all good.
+
+LAURA: That means all of you guys were texting in
+your sessions.
+
+TALIESIN: This is true.
+
+LIAM: We’re that good.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Sam, do you have any words you wanted to say
+about our sponsor?
+
+SAM: I do. Here, give this to Matt, he’ll need it.
+
+MATT: Oh no.
+
+SAM: Our partner this week is once again D&D
+Beyond, that’s dndbeyond.com. The big news is that
+
+D&D’s newest book, Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes, is
+available for pre-order now on the site. If you
+
+preorder, you’ll get exclusive character portrait
+frames, sheet backdrops, and themed colors that you
+
+can use with upcoming character sheet updates! I
+don’t know what that means but it sounds awesome.
+
+The $10 off code “beginnings” can be applied to
+your preorder. To celebrate, I’m going to
+
+personally be giving away one copy of this book to
+either Travis, Liam, or Marisha, but they have to
+
+compete for it. Here’s the rules: I’m going to
+give you a race, class, and character description,
+
+just like you can do on D&D Beyond, and all you
+guys have to do is come up with the name of that
+
+character. Laura, Taliesin, and Matt will be the
+judges. Best out of three wins, all right? You
+
+just have to come up with a name for this
+character, ready? A male stout halfling swamp
+
+druid who only wears a diaper made out of kelp and
+loves to Wild Shape into manatees. Liam, what is
+
+the name of that character?
+
+LIAM: Twill Pillikins.
+
+SAM: Marisha, what is the name of that character?
+
+MARISHA: Squall Squatlock.
+
+SAM: And Travis?
+
+TRAVIS: Merkin Dullbringer.
+
+SAM: Judges, who wins? Oh, Travis, easy win for
+Travis.
+
+MATT: Adding Merkin to a swamp druid was too
+easy.
+
+LAURA: It was you, Liam, until he brought up the
+Merkin.
+
+SAM: Remember, these characters can all be made on
+D&D Beyond. The next one is a male tabaxi bard
+
+with an electric guitar who constantly plays K-pop
+songs and has a runny nose. What is his name? Liam O'Brien.
+
+LIAM: Bathtub Stealthcat.
+
+SAM: Marisha Ray. Oh yeah, sorry, three names.
+
+MARISHA: Mollysquawk the J-pop Hadockhop.
+
+SAM: Yep, okay. Travis?
+
+TRAVIS: Pubert Pimplepop.
+
+SAM: Ooh! Judges.
+
+TALIESIN: I got bribed.
+
+SAM: Travis again.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m purchasable, putting that out
+there.
+
+SAM: One more, this one is worth two points. A
+female kenku paladin with no arms or legs.
+
+LAURA: What’s a kenku?
+
+LIAM: Kenku’s a bird.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I know. Shut up!
+
+SAM: Who worships the lobster-headed god
+Blibdoolpoolp, and it is a real god, and is
+
+dragged around by a pack of reindeer. Liam, what
+is the name of that character?
+
+LIAM: Dagon Henry Kissinger.
+
+MARISHA: Madame Mannequin Ba-Deece.
+
+TRAVIS: Filma Kraken.
+
+SAM: Judges, Liam, Liam, Marisha, Liam gets two
+points! Travis gets two points! Marisha wins!
+
+MARISHA: Yay, golf rules!
+
+SAM: I will personally buy you one of those books,
+Marisha, hold me to it. D&D Beyond, everyone, make
+
+your character today.
+
+MATT: Thank you Sam, thank you very much.
+
+LAURA: That was good.
+
+TALIESIN: That got weird.
+
+MATT: Isn’t it always, though?
+
+LAURA: That was close, I’m not going to count it.
+This is the one Sam gave me, so we’ll see.
+
+MATT: Finishing up from that, we have Talks Machina
+next Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific here on Twitch and
+
+Project Alpha to discuss tonight’s episode of
+Critical Role hosted by our fantastic Brian W.
+
+Foster, so check that out on Tuesday next week. We
+have a new show called Weave coming up, Marisha, do
+
+you want to explain this a little bit?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re one episode in.
+
+MATT: One episode in? That’s right, that launched this
+week.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it happened… last night?
+
+TALIESIN: Wednesday night.
+
+MARISHA: Wednesday night, it happens after
+Wednesday Club. It’s being GMed by Amy Dallen and
+
+it’s an interactive storytelling RPG game. It’s
+got all the ladies of Geek & Sundry, so check it out.
+
+MATT: That’s awesome.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a dope jacket, by the way.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, man.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, jealous.
+
+MATT: We’ll get you one, same size. Last week’s
+episode of Critical Role is available in podcast
+
+form wherever you can find the greatest podcasts to
+download. So if you have friends who are listening
+
+to the audio, they can do so now and be caught up
+with you up until after tonight. Also, comic book
+
+issue four of Critical Role: Vox Machina Origins
+is available for digital download anywhere where you can
+
+find digital comics for the most part: ComiXology,
+the Dark Horse app, and other great places.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s so good, Minxie’s in there killing things.
+
+MATT: We’ve got a new one creeping up on the
+horizon.
+
+LIAM: I’ve read the whole thing, I’ve seen the
+pictures.
+
+MATT: I was supposed to see the art today! I can’t
+wait! Anyway, enough of that. Of course, our
+
+fantastic 826LA and the 826 group that does
+fantastic after-school programs for kids to get
+
+into creative writing. Check it out if you haven’t
+already, and if you can’t give to help out with
+
+this charity, you can donate your time as well to
+help teach some of these kids and help expand
+
+their imaginations, so check it out. They’re
+awesome people and we continue to support and push
+
+them forward. Any new appearances you want to
+announce? Or just rinse and repeat the ones– if
+
+you want to know what conventions we’re going to
+be at in the near future, watch last week’s
+
+episode. Otherwise it gets monotonous for us.
+Anyway, any other announcements that I’ve missed?
+
+SAM: Apparently my breath stinks, so if anyone has
+any gum, I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: Send your gum to Geek & Sundry.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t send your gum.
+
+LAURA: I have something. The Shadow of War
+expansion pack, The Blade of Galadriel, came out
+
+and you can play and be me, so get it and play.
+
+SAM: Just you, Laura Bailey?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, basically just me, running around
+Mordor.
+
+LIAM: Donut hole! Donut hole! Donut
+hole!
+
+TRAVIS: You’ve got a ring of power and shit.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so check it out.
+
+LIAM: She has a ring of power?
+
+LAURA: Shut up! What? No. What?
+
+MATT: On that note, let’s go ahead and dive in to
+tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+(cast singing)
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back.
+
+LAURA: He just tunes it out now.
+
+MATT: I have to.
+
+LIAM: Except when he doesn’t.
+
+MATT: Except when I don’t, which makes it a
+challenge for you guys, which does not help me.
+
+Anyway, last we left off, the group of adventurers
+whose fates are slowly entwining found themselves
+
+meeting in the city of Trostenwald on the southern
+reaches of the Dwendalian Empire on the continent
+
+of Wildemount. Through a mishap in a circus
+passing through town, you began to give chase to
+
+the investigation that has caught you up in this legal
+issue and you found yourselves locked under house
+
+arrest and being considered possible murderers.
+You sought the answer to this endeavor, you found
+
+the devil toad, or the nergaliid, as you
+discovered, was responsible. You hunted it down,
+
+slew it, brought its head back, and after arguing
+with a very tired and wanting to get it over with
+
+lawmaster in Trostenwald, managed to convince her
+enough to let you off the hook and leave most of
+
+the standing legal issues with Gustav, thus
+disbanding the circus and setting you and Yasha
+
+free. Yasha went on her own path while the rest of
+you, the six of you, decided strength in numbers,
+
+and at the time being, you all seem to enjoy each
+other’s company. Purchasing a fresh
+
+map, looking at your future prospects and your
+dwindling funds, you decided to head northward,
+
+towards the city of Zadash by way of the Golden
+Road, past the city of Alfield. And that is where
+
+we left off, as you had smacked the rear end of
+the single horse and cart, and sent it spooked
+
+into the northern field.
+
+LAURA: We chased after it, right?
+
+MATT: You do. You chase after it to keep up.
+
+LAURA: We don’t just lose it.
+
+MATT: Being relatively before noon at this point
+in time, you’re heading northward along the Amber
+
+Road. The well-packed dirt of the ten-foot roadway
+gives you a clear path towards your next
+
+destination. The gentle creak of the cart mingles
+with the clomping of the horse hooves as you push
+
+forward. The midday air is warmer than you
+expected. The sky’s common gray presence is broken
+
+into smaller cloud patches, the victorious blue
+peeking through. You guys continue for a few hours,
+
+talking amongst yourselves a bit. If there are any
+questions you wish to ask each other, now is
+
+the time.
+
+SAM: Any questions?
+
+MATT: Meaning if there is anything coming out of
+the city you wanted to talk about, otherwise I’m
+
+going to continue to push forward with your
+journey. So stop me at any point.
+
+TRAVIS: Is Beau– is her face all jibbity-jacked,
+or is it pretty normal-looking at this point?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Not that I watched anything from last week,
+because I didn’t! 16.
+
+MATT: You can see there is some faint bruising
+starting to show on the left side of the face.
+
+TRAVIS: I bet she doesn’t want to talk about that.
+That’s a good shiner.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you give as good as you got?
+
+MARISHA: I wouldn’t say I won, because I lost.
+But I did pretty good. What color is it right now?
+
+Is it in that orange-ish purple–
+
+TRAVIS: It’s got the green-yellow sunset
+happening, things are starting to spread. Tomorrow
+
+will be–
+
+MARISHA: Right. Got that little orangey. Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: It’s really pretty.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks.
+
+TALIESIN: Significant improvement.
+
+TRAVIS: That trouble going to follow you as we go
+on our way, or do you think you’re free and clear?
+
+MARISHA: Oh no, that was just a little bar fight.
+Nothing. Just a little friendly sparring. Nothing crazy.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+LAURA: Does anyone want a donut from my bag?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, I’ll have a donut, thank you,
+please.
+
+LIAM: I would also like a donut, please.
+
+LAURA: Okay, here you go. I don’t have them in
+real life, just this one in real life. But in the
+
+game, you guys are having delicious donuts.
+
+TRAVIS: How old are those donuts?
+
+LIAM: Do you actually have donuts? I don’t
+understand.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, here you go.
+
+LIAM: Oh, there it is.
+
+MATT: Imagination!
+
+LAURA: You’re doing it, Peter, you’re doing it!
+
+TALIESIN: I was just going there, damn it!
+Bangarang!
+
+LAURA: These donuts are not that old.
+
+TALIESIN: What does “not that old” mean, does it
+mean they’re young?
+
+LIAM: Are they pretty new?
+
+LAURA: They’re pretty new, yes.
+
+LIAM: Three days new? Or– Forget it, I don’t
+actually want to know the answer.
+
+LAURA: Just eat it, it’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it good and do we gain or lose hit
+points?
+
+MATT: No hit point transition, no constitution
+saves. They’re a bit stale, but still tasty enough.
+
+TRAVIS: Any lint from the bag that they were being
+held in?
+
+MATT: You can chose to remove it if you’d like,
+but it may be part of the texture. It adds color.
+
+LAURA: That’s right. It’s like sprinkles.
+
+LIAM: Mollymauk, is this weird for you to not be
+traveling with your performing family?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s change, but travel is travel, so.
+
+LAURA: Did you travel in a wagon when you were
+with your family?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes, we traveled forever. It was
+constantly on the road. Once we left home, we
+
+stayed moving.
+
+MATT: Ironically, traveled in the exact wagon that
+you’re in right now.
+
+LAURA: Oh, nice.
+
+LIAM: Some things don’t change. We didn’t have
+much of a chance to see you perform. I saw you do
+
+a card reading for Jester, but things got waylaid
+at the circus. What do you normally do?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, things. I’m not really much of a
+performer, I’m more of– Help set up. Help run the
+
+shows, help make illusions, that sort of thing.
+
+SAM: Like a techie?
+
+TALIESIN: I guess you could say a techie. I show
+off a little bit of the sword juggling.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got some things I was working on.
+Like this.
+
+TRAVIS: You juggling those big motherfucking
+swords?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You watch as he balances one on the edge of
+the hand and then tosses it up and catches it as
+
+it falls, and takes the other one and glides it
+across, spins it up, catches it on his chin. On
+
+his nose; he makes it hop around. It’s pretty
+decent.
+
+TALIESIN: Little roll.
+
+LAURA: Can you swallow it?
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check if you want to
+try.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, it’s a curved sword. So not the
+curved ones. But I could probably do a straight
+
+sword. I’m not going to swallow a curved sword!
+That would be very complicated to pull off.
+
+LIAM: If anybody can do it, it’s you.
+
+SAM: That tiefling anatomy is very strange, you
+know.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m flexible, but not that flexible. I’m
+pretty flexible. Yeah, I never nailed anything
+
+down for a really good act.
+
+MATT: A few hours into travel along the road, you
+catch ahead the sight of another caravan heading
+
+southward in your direction. They begin to crest
+over one of the hills. As you look forward, too,
+
+the central portion of the Marrow Valley isn’t
+just a smooth, constant grade. It’s a series of
+
+rolling hills and high grasses and wheats and
+grains, and a lot of wild weeds that have taken
+
+over the areas between bastions of civilization.
+
+LIAM: How far away are they?
+
+MATT: You can see up there about maybe a half mile
+or so, as they crest over one of the hills in the distance.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I send Frumpkin ahead and see it, and
+go blind and deaf here, so I can get a closer look
+
+at them.
+
+SAM: Which is Frumpkin now?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin’s a sparrow at the moment. I don’t
+have the components to put him back to the shape
+
+he prefers, which is a cat.
+
+LAURA: What are the components?
+
+LIAM: Charcoal and some incense, a kind of incense
+you have to use. I’m all out. I used it all.
+
+TALIESIN: Not my incense.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there money involved?
+
+LIAM: Money? Well, you have to pay money to get
+the things to do it.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: He’s been a couple of things before. He can
+last. Anyway. Off you go.
+
+LAURA: Have you ever made him a turtle?
+
+MATT: He can’t hear you right now, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: Have you ever made him a snake? Have you
+ever made him a roach?
+
+SAM: He’s gone to the other place. He won’t be
+able to respond.
+
+LAURA: Have you ever made him a unicorn?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+SAM: A unicorn would be really cool.
+
+MARISHA: That would be really cool.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d like to see that.
+
+LAURA: They exist, you know.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t know that.
+
+LAURA: They do.
+
+MATT: As your vision crests up with the flight of
+Frumpkin, make a perception check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Don’t fuck me, Scanlan. Oh, that’s not
+Scanlan, that’s Percy, but you did fuck me, Percy.
+
+TALIESIN: I try.
+
+LIAM: That is very low. We’ll just say it fails,
+because it’s a two.
+
+MATT: It’s a two?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I rolled a two.
+
+MATT: Okay. I mean, at a safe enough distance to
+look down, there are shapes. The most that
+
+Frumpkin makes out is that it looks to be six
+heavy wagons.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Six?
+
+MATT: Six heavy wagons, each being pulled by a
+trio of horses.
+
+SAM: We can rob them.
+
+LIAM: 18 horses.
+
+TRAVIS: We should what?
+
+SAM: Well, we could rob them, or we could go off
+the road and hide and wait for them to pass.
+
+LAURA: Is Frumpkin back? Do we know all these
+things yet?
+
+SAM: Oh, we don’t.
+
+MATT: We’ll say for the purposes of this–
+
+SAM: Pleasant day!
+
+LIAM: I started muttering as soon as I could see
+that. What they were, what I saw.
+
+LAURA: Do they look like they’re in armor? Do they
+look like they’re soldiers?
+
+SAM: He can’t hear you.
+
+LAURA: Do they look like they’re mean?
+
+TALIESIN: Do they look like they’re unicorns?
+
+MARISHA: Do they look like they’re traders? Like
+traders, not traitors.
+
+SAM: He can’t hear you.
+
+LAURA: Do you see, are they carrying money? Are
+they carrying people?
+
+SAM: He won’t be able to talk to you for a while.
+You see, he’s not really there.
+
+MATT: Coming closer down the road now, the gap
+between your traveling troupe and this caravan
+
+grows smaller and smaller. All the rest of you,
+I’d like to make a perception check, please. I
+
+think at this point, Frumpkin has–
+
+LIAM: I would’ve released it, yeah. He’s not back,
+but I released the sight.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+LIAM: Perception check?
+
+SAM: Nine!
+
+TALIESIN: 20.
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+LAURA: Five!
+
+LIAM: Zwölf.
+
+MATT: Amongst all of you guys keeping an eye out,
+you look ahead and you can see the wagons are
+
+covered, some of them are bundled; some of them
+are taller; some of them are smaller. What you do
+
+notice is at the front of each of the wagons,
+there’s a figure with the reins that is in the
+
+process of sitting there and occasionally making
+sure the pace is kept relatively steady forward.
+
+You do see by the long robes and ornate silk
+mantles of the highwaymen that are holding these
+
+reins, you get the impression that they probably
+are from the Menagerie Coast. You two in
+
+particular recognize, it’s not well-off mercantile
+clothing, but it looks like it’s not rags for a
+
+person that makes this trek up and down the Amber
+Road. Looks like they’re heading southward,
+
+probably returning after completing some sort of a
+trade run up to either Zadash or Rexxentrum and
+
+spaces nearby. As the gap begins to close, there’s
+a brief moment of chicken to see who’s going to
+
+avert the path as it’s only about ten foot wide.
+It would be a pretty tight fit to get both your
+
+troupe and their wagons past. Do you guys yield or
+do you continue to push forward?
+
+TRAVIS: I would just like to suggest we might give
+way. There are six of them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m fine with that.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, agreed.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys skirt your single horse– poor
+thing is pulling this cart on its own.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to kill it.
+
+MATT: It’s not going any faster, really, than you
+guys walking, necessarily.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: But we get to be lazy.
+
+TRAVIS: But we’re not walking.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Because it is not a riding horse, it is a
+beast of burden, so it’s about the same pace that
+
+you’re going. As you guys pull slightly off into
+the grass, the cart bumps as it hits some rocks
+
+and patches of dirt and thick grass. They continue
+to pass, and as they do, you see the individuals.
+
+The one in the front has what looks to be a thick
+scarf tossed over the shoulder obscuring part of
+
+the face, and she gives a hand salute up to you as
+it passes and a bit of a head nod. As you wave your
+
+hand frantically, a bit of eye contact is made and
+continues past.
+
+LAURA: Are you going to Nicodranas?
+
+MATT: No response. The first cart continues past.
+
+LAURA: Hi. Hi, are you going to Nicodranas?
+
+MATT: The next one looks over to you for a second,
+the head cocked a little bit. “No, we are on our
+
+“way to Port Zoon.”
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MATT: “By way of Nicodranas.”
+
+LAURA: Oh! Did you come from Zadash?
+
+MATT: “We briefly did, yes, but we are returning.
+We have finished our wares and we have things to
+
+"bring back to sell.”
+
+LAURA: How far is it to Zadash?
+
+MATT: “Uh…” At this point he’s passed by you and
+his voice gets a bit louder over his shoulder and
+
+he’s like, “From this point, it’s probably around
+150 miles.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you!
+
+MATT: The next one continues, one after another.
+You get a better look, too. The ones at the front
+
+that were pretty heavily covered, as opposed to
+the ones in the back which are a little taller,
+
+and as you look into the back, there’s little
+flaps and openings on the inside, you can see
+
+there’s families traveling.
+
+MARISHA: Does it look like they have any wares
+that they’re traveling to trade?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a 16, I think. Yeah. 19.
+
+MATT: Glancing through, you can see the three
+wagons towards the back seem to be more for
+
+transport of people. It seems like either these
+merchants are bringing their family with them for
+
+long treks, so they’re not apart from them for so
+long, or their family is just a family of traders
+
+or transport. Looking past them, you can see there
+are a lot of supplies behind them, but you’re not sure
+
+if they’re wares or just their personal goods.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, feel like making some coin, doing a
+little bit of a show?
+
+TALIESIN: Hmm.
+
+MATT: The fifth cart’s now passed. You’re moving
+on to the sixth cart.
+
+TALIESIN: Do these people look like they’re in the
+mood to stop?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, do they look sad?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+SAM: Do they look sad.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s insight?
+
+LAURA: Plus five.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, where do you see that? Oh! There it
+is. Thank you. 19.
+
+MATT: They don’t look sad necessarily. They’re on
+the road, just kind of looking out and keeping
+
+eyes on the vicinity and probably lost in thought.
+You do see a pair of children, hard to gauge their
+
+age at this distance, but they’re under the age of
+ten at least, and they seem to look relatively bored.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll balance one of the swords on my
+head and flash the cards and see if anybody bites.
+
+LAURA: As you drop them all over the ground.
+
+LIAM: Wakka wakka.
+
+MATT: You watch as the young boy, he has tangled
+black hair that poofs out a bit on the sides, he
+
+has a deeper brown skin, and he looks up at you
+with his bright blue eyes. As soon as you begin
+
+balancing the sword, he smiles a little bit and
+jabs his elbow into his sister who’s a little bit
+
+older than him, who glances over and points. They
+both point towards you. You don’t hear anything.
+
+They just point and smile as their cart pulls
+away, the sixth cart making distance from you.
+
+LAURA: He can tell your fortune!
+
+TALIESIN: They didn’t poke the parents.
+
+LAURA: They’re stupid.
+
+MATT: The caravan continues without you.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: Ah, it’s very good.
+
+LAURA: Is it?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+LAURA: What does it mean?
+
+TALIESIN: It means that you’re on a cart.
+
+LAURA: It was the chariot.
+
+TRAVIS: Would you normally, you know, hijack a
+caravan like that?
+
+SAM: I mean, we have in the past. If we are
+confident we can get away with it, we would. We could–
+
+TALIESIN: Can you get away with something like
+that?
+
+SAM: There’s a lot of people in that caravan
+though, it seems like a risky maneuver.
+
+LIAM: That’s a pretty big matzo ball there.
+
+TALIESIN: And stealing is wrong. But if you did
+it, could you get away with it?
+
+SAM: We could probably get away with it. Why? You
+want to follow them and rob their shit?
+
+TRAVIS: Just going off what you said earlier. I
+don’t want to change your behavior just because
+
+you’re with us all of a sudden.
+
+SAM: I mean, sure. Let’s go do it.
+
+LAURA: He’s just trying to get you in trouble.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I am not. Merely asking a question.
+
+MARISHA: Would you join in in the stand off?
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, what does that–
+
+MARISHA: Would you join the stagecoach robbery?
+
+TRAVIS: If we’re pointing them down, reach for the
+sky!
+
+TALIESIN: Careful, those fingers are loaded.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but I would ask. Are you asking
+because that is something that you have no
+
+experience with or are you wondering maybe is that
+something that we could join you in?
+
+TRAVIS: Only because I have no experience in it, I
+was just curious what it was that you might have
+
+done, you know, previously.
+
+LAURA: Did you hijack a cart?
+
+SAM: No, we were more small-time thieves. We
+wouldn’t typically hijack moving caravans. Usually
+
+we’d wait until they parked somewhere and then
+just go sneak on and steal something out of the back.
+
+LIAM: Mostly whatever we can walk away with.
+
+MARISHA: The things with moving carts of that big
+a family is they tend to prep. You don’t know what
+
+kind of people or weapons they have with them.
+
+LIAM: Always go for a sure thing.
+
+MARISHA: You know how we’re pretty sure that
+everyone on this road’s going to kill us? Yeah,
+
+everyone else thinks that, too.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+SAM: But if you need me to teach you how to steal,
+you can tag along sometime.
+
+TRAVIS: I might take you up on that, yeah.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: Interesting.
+
+MATT: Continuing on your path, I want to ask which
+two of you are taking point in keeping an eye on
+
+the road and the landscape around you as you
+progress?
+
+TRAVIS: (fake cough) Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’ll take watch.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, sorry.
+
+MATT: Okay. Beau and who else?
+
+TRAVIS: So generous of you.
+
+LAURA: You want to do it?
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, yeah. I’ll take a
+round. I’m used to keeping an eye out on the road.
+
+MATT: So the two of you are taking point up until
+you guys decide to change it when it comes to
+
+travel along the road.
+
+MARISHA: It’s just general perception?
+
+MATT: Yes. I would like you both, currently about
+an hour’s journey past that intersection with the
+
+other caravan, to make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Ooh! I bet someone’s going to try to hijack
+our shit on the road just like we were talking
+
+about then.
+
+MARISHA: Not too bad. 18.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Smash.
+
+MATT: 18 and eight. Actually, both of you don’t
+really notice anything.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Take that back. Take it back.
+
+MATT: Both of you keeping an eye out, the hills
+continue to roll. You see patches of trees and
+
+small wooded areas. Grass field is tall but it’s
+beautiful and the light breeze that blows through,
+
+you can see the waves of wind as they come across.
+You can hear the faint sound of it moving the
+
+fields across.
+
+MARISHA: Is there a tree that looks climbable that
+I could get a vantage point?
+
+MATT: There is. It’s maybe about 600 feet off the
+road, but you can try and head over there if you
+
+want to.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus we’ve been traveling for what? About
+hour and a half, two hours now?
+
+MATT: I’d say total right now, you’ve been
+probably on the road for about four hours.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: We should probably rest the horse for
+just a bit.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Anyone want to take a quick pee
+break?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+SAM: Yes, please.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Let’s go over to the bushes.
+
+MATT: All right. So you guys leave the cart on the
+road or do you take it off to the side?
+
+SAM: Should leave a guard with the–
+
+LAURA: We should lead it off the road.
+
+MARISHA: Can we take it with us fairly easily?
+
+MATT: I mean, you can. The progress will slow a
+bit because you’re now taking it through the hills
+
+and the field and having to push the cart through
+the grass.
+
+LIAM: No, we should take it off the road.
+
+LAURA: Just off the road a little bit.
+
+MARISHA: Just off the road but we don’t have to go
+all the way to the tree, I can–
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll sit with the cart for the first
+roll.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll stay with you.
+
+LIAM: Where are you going to do?
+
+MARISHA: I’m just going to go check out this tree
+over here. See if I can get a little better
+
+vantage.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I have a bird that can go probably
+higher than the tree, if you want.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, kind of forgot about that.
+
+LIAM: Would you like me to do that?
+
+LAURA: Maybe she likes climbing trees.
+
+LIAM: Or you could. I don’t want to rob you of the
+joy of climbing a good tree.
+
+TRAVIS: Or falling out of it, which we would
+really enjoy.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be actually extremely–
+
+MARISHA: Both are very pleasant, but I do not
+necessarily need that to feel fulfilled.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Well, I will sit in the field then and
+give him a little chuck under the chin and– oh,
+
+wait. Before I go away, am I looking for anything
+specific?
+
+MARISHA: Just people coming.
+
+LIAM: People coming.
+
+MATT: As the rest of you take a moment to step off
+to the side of the road, pull out some of your
+
+travel supplies to feed the horse, give it a
+rest.
+
+LAURA: Pick some flowers.
+
+MATT: Pick some flowers, which you can find.
+They’re wildflowers. They’re bright white,
+
+scattered and simple, but they’re beautiful in their own
+right. You all take a bit to relieve yourselves a
+
+little ways off the road. You make your way
+towards the nearest tree and it’s a cluster of
+
+about five or six that are nearby, this pocket
+where it seems like some seeds long ago got
+
+dropped by a bird, probably, over the sky, and
+then proceeded to grow and sprout. The lowest
+
+branch is about ten feet up, so you’re going to
+have to take a quick leap and try and climb some
+
+of it.
+
+MARISHA: I wanted to wait for Caleb.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right, you’re waiting there.
+Never mind. You see that tree and you go, “I’ll
+
+"get to that later.”
+
+MARISHA: It’s a damn good tree. I do miss climbing
+trees.
+
+LAURA: Do you need me to lift you up to the
+branch?
+
+MATT: Your eyes cloud over.
+
+LIAM: They do. As the bird is flying, just for a
+second, I say: You know, ordinarily– I can’t hear
+
+you, but he’s a cat almost all the time, so this
+is a rarity. You’ll be able to climb many trees,
+
+many other times, but we should take advantage of
+him. Well, okay.
+
+LAURA: None of us were nearby when he was saying
+all of that.
+
+MATT: No, you guys were quite a ways off. No one
+was in earshot.
+
+TRAVIS: We were shitting in the bushes.
+
+MATT: A ladybug lands on his nose and goes in his
+nostril, but he can’t feel it.
+
+LIAM: Feel it?! I can feel stuff!
+
+MATT: Maybe not this. You’re too focused.
+
+LIAM: We worked out that he could– okay, great.
+There’s bugs in my nose.
+
+MATT: It tickles a little bit.
+
+LIAM: Shove it all in, everybody!
+
+MATT: To be fair, your face itches in general from
+the sheer amount of filth that’s on it. It’s hard
+
+to really differentiate.
+
+LIAM: In the middle of the field you hear: Ooh,
+look at that! What do I see?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check for your birdie.
+
+LIAM: That’s a nine.
+
+MATT: Glancing over and doing a wide pass around
+as everyone begins to gather their things and head
+
+towards the cart, the road’s pretty open. At this
+point, the previous caravan is invisible from that
+
+height, the hills close that distance. You don’t
+see anything coming your way. It seems pretty open
+
+and safe.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I keep flying for a little bit
+longer.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I lift Beau up to the branch just because.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Feels like childhood. Do you want
+up here?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll jump!
+
+MARISHA: All right, I lift her up.
+
+LAURA: We sit up in the branches.
+
+MATT: Okay, cool. It’s a nice view.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: It’s impossible to believe him.
+
+MARISHA: Is there anything carved in the
+branches, in the tree trunk?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: The treant eats you.
+
+MATT: Shh, don’t spoil it!
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: No carvings of names or letters, but you do
+see a few knots in the tree that have currently
+
+been carved out and made a home to a number of
+woodland creatures.
+
+LAURA: I’ve never climbed a tree before.
+
+MARISHA: Really?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. This is really pretty.
+
+MARISHA: What do you think lives in that hole?
+
+LAURA: Probably very small unicorns.
+
+MARISHA: Have you ever seen an unicorn?
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’ve seen many. The little ones can be
+as small as hamsters.
+
+MARISHA: Pocket unicorns?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Where do you find such things?
+
+LAURA: All over. You just have to know where to look.
+
+SAM: And believe.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s starting to believe.
+
+MARISHA: What is it like being in your head?
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty great!
+
+MATT: Eventually, you all gather yourselves again
+back at the wagon, cart it back onto the road, and
+
+head northward. Another few hours pass before the
+sun begins to set. As the sky grows darker, the
+
+clouds from the north-northeast begin to filter in
+with a colder wind. You get the sense that the
+
+warm day that you had is coming to a close and who
+knows how long the current cold weather will keep.
+
+The light begins to fade, darker and darker, until
+you get the sense that you have about 30 minutes
+
+before this field goes pitch black.
+
+LIAM: How cold is it out?
+
+MATT: You can see your breath.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s pretty cold.
+
+MATT: Not super thick, but when you exhale you see
+a bit of the breath before you.
+
+TRAVIS: Should we pull off on the side of the road
+and get a campfire going?
+
+TALIESIN: I’d say let’s get a bit off the road, if
+possible.
+
+MARISHA: Does it look like there’s any trees or
+any base of mountains or any place that would be a
+
+good sheltered campsite?
+
+MATT: There are no mountains anywhere in the
+vicinity. You’re in the center of the rolling
+
+hills. There is a cluster of trees you could go to
+that’s about 300 feet or so off the road. It’s
+
+three trees, so it’s not a lot of cover, but
+unfortunately you’re in the middle of a valley.
+
+TALIESIN: It’ll do.
+
+LAURA: Can we get the horse over to them?
+
+MATT: It takes you a little bit. You spend about
+45 minutes in pitch dark keeping an eye in that
+
+direction before you come upon the tree. You can
+faintly see the outline of the tree against the
+
+faint bit of light making it through the cloud cover.
+You guys stop there, get the horse a little bit of
+
+water and feed, and the site’s yours.
+
+TALIESIN: Set a tent. Start a fire.
+
+LAURA: This is why we should’ve taken one of the
+circus tents.
+
+TALIESIN: They take an awful lot of time to put
+up. You do know this. There’s a process.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but think about how cool it would be
+to camp in one.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it would be amazing. I’ve done it.
+It’s great, but this is nice, too.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we collect some wood and start a
+fire?
+
+SAM: Sounds good.
+
+MATT: Who’s starting the fire?
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody want to come with me to find some
+kindling?
+
+MARISHA: I have an adventurer’s kit. Does that
+have a tinder in it?
+
+MATT: You can do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we?
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Go look for some dead-ish
+branches.
+
+MARISHA: I’m a little– you be my eyes. It’s super
+dark.
+
+SAM: Maybe you shouldn’t go.
+
+MARISHA: You know what, I’ll start digging a
+little pit.
+
+LIAM: Now, hold on. I pull a rag out, and I (poof)
+one of the Dancing Lights, and make that hooded
+
+lantern again so that you can see.
+
+MATT: With that light, it’s easy enough to find
+some small kindling. There’s not a whole lot in
+
+the vicinity, mainly being that it’s an open
+field. But you find a few pieces of fallen tree
+
+and general dead plant life in the vicinity that
+can get something going.
+
+TALIESIN: We can chop it up.
+
+MATT: Eventually you get a fire going. It’s a
+little beacon of light here in the darkness,
+
+orange-ish flickering against the interior
+of the three trees as you guys are situated there.
+
+You figure you’ve made it a little under halfway
+to Alfield, which is the small city on the way to
+
+Zadash. It’ll take you a little over a day’s
+travel, or if you push it ahead you could probably
+
+make it in a day, but you can run the risk of
+getting tired. But for resting this evening, who
+
+wants to take watch?
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody. We’re all going to sleep.
+
+LIAM: While they decide that, I’m going to pull
+out my silver thread and I’m going to start
+
+winding a 20-foot circle around the fire.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, nice.
+
+LAURA: I get my little bouquet of wildflowers and
+I give it to Nott.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s very nice of you.
+
+LAURA: Well, you said all girls like flowers.
+
+SAM: We do. That’s very nice of you, thank you.
+What did I do to deserve this?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, you are my friend.
+
+TALIESIN: A single tear pours down a porcelain
+cheek.
+
+LAURA: I’ll take first watch.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Everybody hears a little (ting) as I hit a
+little bell that I have that’s part of it.
+
+And that’s it.
+
+SAM: I’ll sit up with you, Jester, and take first
+watch, 1B.
+
+LAURA: I like it.
+
+MATT: All right. We’ll say for the purposes of
+expediency on this, I’ll take three perception
+
+rolls from three different people that are keeping
+watch throughout the evening. So with the setup of
+
+your spell, you go to rest. Jester, you first.
+
+LAURA: Oh, god damn it!
+
+SAM: No, it’s pretty good.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, one. So pretty good.
+
+MATT: All right, natural one. About ten minutes–
+
+LAURA: Sorry, guys.
+
+MATT: About ten minutes into your watch, the
+inspiration hits for you to start drawing
+
+interesting faces and weird trees. You start
+sketching–
+
+LAURA: Little tiny hamster unicorns!
+
+MATT: There you go. As you begin to sketch, you
+are not paying attention at all to the area around you.
+
+LAURA: It’s really cute! All wrapped up in a
+little swaddling blanket!
+
+MARISHA: Little hamster tails! Oh man!
+
+MATT: Giant miniatures space unicorns. However,
+even though you rolled really poorly, your watch
+
+goes through unabated. Second watch, who’s taking
+that?
+
+LAURA: I’m so tired! (snores)
+
+LIAM: I will stay up for a little bit, yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll a perception
+check, please.
+
+LAURA, MARISHA, and TRAVIS: (chanting) Caleb!
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s pretty good. That’s a 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. Keeping an eye out, you see a little
+ways off– it’s hard to make out any shapes
+
+because of your human eyes and, with the firelight
+that’s near you, your eyes can’t adjust to the
+
+darkness as well, but there are bits and pieces
+where the clouds do break, the moonlight comes
+
+down and you can see a distant shape that’s moving
+through the field maybe about 400 feet off. You
+
+can see it pushing through the height of the
+grass, moving slowly.
+
+LIAM: Am I the only one awake at this moment?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LIAM: I slowly jiggle Nott awake. (whispers) Get
+up.
+
+SAM: It was violin class! What?
+
+LIAM: I put a hand over her mouth.
+
+SAM: What’s going on?
+
+LIAM: There is a thing out around our fire a ways
+off.
+
+SAM: Why did we leave you on watch? You can’t see
+in the dark!
+
+LIAM: No, I saw the shape. It’s not dark, there’s
+a fire here.
+
+SAM: Okay, let me sneak around and look. Right? We
+don’t want to wake everyone because–
+
+LIAM: Because we want them to die? I think we
+should probably wake everyone.
+
+SAM: What if it’s nothing? Then they’ll be upset
+with us. There’s nothing more dangerous than–
+
+LIAM: I shake Beau awake.
+
+SAM: No, she’s the most irritable!
+
+MARISHA: I’m what?
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Did you say I’m fucking irritable?
+
+LIAM: She said “most beautiful.” There’s a thing
+out there in the field. Something is moving.
+
+LAURA: She can’t see! She’s human, too!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I’m going to go look! I can see in the dark.
+
+LIAM: No, wait here!
+
+SAM: I’m going to dart off in a flanking maneuver.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+SAM: 18 plus stuff.
+
+LIAM: As soon as I see her do that, I start
+swatting Fjord on the back to wake him up.
+
+SAM: 26.
+
+MARISHA: What do I see?
+
+MATT: You vaguely see the shape moving, but it’s
+hard to see, and only because of the moonlight.
+
+Nott, as you stealth up and quickly move through
+the grass, eventually you hear this (soft grunting).
+
+You glance up and see there is not one,
+but three large buffalo-type creatures that are
+
+lumbering through the fields.
+
+SAM: Buffalo-type creatures, or buffalo?
+
+MATT: You’re not sure. You’re not close enough to
+see. You see they’re bipedal, they’re thick and
+
+muscular, and they have these large horns that
+curl off to the side and out.
+
+TRAVIS: Bipedal?
+
+MATT: Sorry, quadruped, not bipedal.
+
+SAM: How far am I from the camp?
+
+MATT: You’re about, maybe, 80 to 100 feet from it.
+
+SAM: Cool. I’m going to pull out a piece of copper
+wire and, remembering the motions that Caleb
+
+taught me, I’m going to twirl it around in my hand
+and hold it up to my mouth and whisper a Message
+
+just to Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, what?!
+
+SAM: I’m going to say: it’s three buffalo, or
+buffalo-type objects. Creatures. What do you want
+
+me to do? (fwoosh)
+
+LIAM: I’m so proud! I don’t know that spell, so I
+cannot talk back.
+
+SAM: Yes, you can!
+
+LIAM: What? Who said that? If you can can hear
+me– I don’t think you can– come back with the group.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LAURA: Can you hear him?
+
+LIAM: Is that how Message works?
+
+SAM: Yes, I can hear you.
+
+LAURA: That is awesome!
+
+MATT: The whispers continue back and forth.
+
+SAM: It’s just one back and forth. I can talk to
+him, he can reply once. That’s it.
+
+MATT: For one round.
+
+LIAM: For one round, so six seconds.
+
+LAURA: Sick.
+
+MATT: It’s a cantrip.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, I love it.
+
+LIAM: Oh, if it’s a cantrip, you can do it over
+and over again.
+
+LAURA: It’s a cantrip?
+
+SAM: Is it? Oh, it is! Ooh, this is exciting! I’ve
+never had magic before.
+
+LIAM: It’s two soup cans with a string.
+
+MATT: Essentially.
+
+LAURA: How far does it go?
+
+SAM: You don’t know!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, there you go.
+
+SAM: You’re drawing hamsters.
+
+LAURA: Oh, the cutest unicorn hamsters.
+
+MATT: So Nott, what are you doing?
+
+SAM: He said to come back, so I’m coming back. On
+the way back, I’m going to see if they’re eating
+
+or sleeping. What are they doing?
+
+MATT: They’re just moving. As you head back to the
+camp, you can see they pass and continue heading
+
+in the southwestern direction in the field, not
+taking notice of your fire or the encampment.
+
+SAM: They could be good for meat. We could go kill
+them and eat them for meat.
+
+LIAM: Is she back?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: I scoop her up. Look at you! You cast a
+spell, you spoke to me!
+
+SAM: You said to do the hand movements and the
+whispery thing. And I did it and it worked!
+
+LIAM: It’s as simple as that, isn’t it?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: Oh, I’m so proud of you! We need to calm
+down and go back to bed.
+
+SAM: Oh, but we could’ve eaten those buffalo-type
+creatures.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, what the fuck did you wake us up for,
+anyway?
+
+LIAM: (laughs nervously) Got you.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a joke?
+
+LIAM: No. I thought we were all going to die, but
+it was just– what was it?
+
+SAM: Three large beasts of burden. Wait, we could
+use them to pull the cart!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Where are they?
+
+SAM: They went that way! In the dark!
+
+MARISHA: You sure they were just cows? Or donkeys?
+Or buffalo-type things?
+
+SAM: I don’t know! I don’t know what they were,
+but they looked big and able to pull the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s go look at one.
+
+SAM: You want to go cow-tipping, don’t you?
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck yeah! Take me cow-tipping, son! Woo!
+
+LIAM: Echoes in the field. (echoing sounds)
+
+SAM: What happened?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know. Back in college.
+
+SAM: Are we going to go after them or are we going
+to go back to sleep?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s go look at one.
+
+LIAM: Well, shit. I guess we’re going to look
+at a buffalo.
+
+SAM: Let’s go!
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: I’m still sleeping.
+
+MATT: While Molly and Jester continue to enjoy
+their continued long rest, you all interrupt it to
+
+get up, and head in the direction of these
+creatures. I would like you all to make a stealth
+
+check, please.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: 11.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MATT: All right. The four of you, shoulder to
+shoulder, keeping low, making your way through the
+
+field, stepping ever so carefully. And there’s
+this (croaking) as one of you accidentally goes
+
+completely foot down on to some sort of field frog
+that had been there. As the croak hits, you watch
+
+as one of the creatures (startled grunting), and
+they all start running away, spooked by the sound.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit.
+
+MARISHA: Can we tell what they are? Now that we’re
+closer?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check, if you want to.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to, with my darkvision.
+
+MATT: At disadvantage on you, unfortunately, at
+this distance.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome to human.
+
+MARISHA: Six.
+
+MATT: They look like buffalo-like creatures.
+
+TRAVIS: 13?
+
+MATT: They look like buffalo.
+
+SAM: You’ll never know what they were.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, that was worth a look.
+
+MATT: You aren’t too familiar with a lot of the
+indigenous animals that live or have been brought
+
+to this region if they haven’t been near the port
+towns that you grew up in. You haven’t seen these
+
+types of creatures before, but you vaguely know
+they’re in the ballpark of what a buffalo, you
+
+imagine, looks like.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s vaguely what I imagine a buffalo
+would look like.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: That was fun, let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: Back to sleep.
+
+LIAM: Silently ruffle Nott’s hair on the way back
+to camp.
+
+SAM: Stop it.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Who’s got the third watch?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take it.
+
+LIAM: Turd watch.
+
+MATT: All right. Molly has the third watch.
+
+TALIESIN: Turd watch.
+
+MATT: Perception check, please.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+TALIESIN: Six.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you keep an eye out, everyone else
+sleeps throughout the evening. Eventually, you nod
+
+off, and fall asleep with the rest of them. I
+would like to ask all of you to leave the table
+
+for a moment, except for Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: For me?!
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: It’s your turn now!
+
+TRAVIS: Why? (shouting) Why didn’t you roll a
+higher perception?
+
+TALIESIN: I literally don’t know. That’s actually
+the problem.
+
+MARISHA: Just don’t get a lich phylactery
+installed in you again.
+
+TALIESIN: Travis, it’s been nice playing with
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god. Oh no!
+
+TALIESIN: I thoroughly enjoyed your accent.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit!
+
+MATT: Fjord, as darkness takes your mind,
+dreamless like most, you await the emptiness of
+
+sleep to carry you to the day. Your sense of body
+fades, but your mind and the dark linger. Minutes,
+
+hours, days. Time loses real sense and meaning,
+but you’re conscious for it and that is almost
+
+maddening, in that split second or endless stretch
+of experience that you’re currently unable to
+
+express. As the time passes, the air grows colder
+around you. The faint shimmer of shifting midnight
+
+blue, muted and distant, now showing endless depth
+before you, rippling. You begin to flail about,
+
+your senses returning with the dropping
+temperature, but there is resistance to your limbs
+
+as you push in the space around you. You’re
+sluggish. There’s force. It’s not air, it’s water.
+
+You suddenly feel the burning pain in your lungs
+as your breath fights to escape you, but you hold
+
+tight. You seize and swim in desperation, choosing
+any direction, but the shimmering blue is
+
+directionless. There is no up, there is no down.
+It’s just depth. Movement. The universal shadows
+
+dance as one, right to left. With a speed that
+pulls you along with the current, you feel
+
+yourself being jostled. As it shifts again to the
+left to right, around behind you, you find
+
+yourself toppling, head over end, eventually
+coming to rest again. You spiral over and over
+
+again, the darkness swallowing you, tightening
+around you as this dance, this shape, this endless
+
+coil, this spiral around you. As the current tugs
+at you, battering you, you cannot fight any more
+
+as the increased power of the current pulls on
+your form. You cough, and the freezing waters rush
+
+into your body, the briny taste of salt water
+stinging your insides. Your wincing eyes open with
+
+the pain that clutches the interior of your chest,
+only to see a gargantuan mass moving through the
+
+water around you, like a massive noose closing in.
+The pain in your chest vanishes. As your breathing
+
+normalizes– thicker than air, but breathable all
+the same– it feels strange yet weirdly familiar.
+
+In that moment, yellow light bursts before you in
+the shape of an enormous yellow eye. An
+
+impossibly low tone rumbles through the waters
+around you, shaking you to your core, like an
+
+organic war horn the size of a canyon. The eye
+narrows as the tone grows stronger. A thought
+
+enters your mind, a jumble of emotions that your
+brain attempts to make sense of until a word
+
+congeals into the center of your consciousness:
+“Watching.” The eye just looks at you, waiting expectantly.
+
+TRAVIS: (English accent) What are you?
+
+MATT: “Watching.”
+
+TRAVIS: Watching me?
+
+MATT: The eye opens a bit and leans closer towards
+you. “Potential.”
+
+TRAVIS: My potential? What are you asking of me?
+
+MATT: “Learn.”
+
+TRAVIS: Learn. What would you have me learn?
+
+MATT: “Learn. Grow. Provoke. Consume.”
+
+TRAVIS: Learn, grow, provoke, consume. I don’t
+understand.
+
+MATT: “Reward.”
+
+TRAVIS: A reward for this? I’m listening.
+
+MATT: “Patience.” The eye closes, and the light is
+gone. You feel the darkness and the cold
+
+completely suffuse your entire world as the panic
+and solitude, the true quiet of your
+
+unconsciousness, begins to take hold. At that
+moment, you gasp for breath, and your eyes open,
+
+coughing and sputtering in the morning air. If we
+could have everybody else come back to the table,
+
+please! Call them back in.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck. Fuck you! What were those words?!
+
+MATT: Watching, potential, learn, grow, provoke,
+consume. We’ll go over the rest later. Come on in!
+
+SAM: Are we supposed to come back?
+
+MATT: Yes, you’re supposed to come back in.
+
+LAURA: We’re supposed to come in!
+
+MATT: You are.
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry, I found a patch of strawberries.
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody back?
+
+MATT: Everybody back.
+
+LIAM: Are you okay? We’re fine? Everything’s
+good?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! We’re fine. We’re great. Just
+doing dandy. Yep.
+
+LIAM: You would tell us if something was wrong?
+
+TRAVIS: Of course.
+
+SAM: That was fast. You really fought five guys in
+an alleyway that fast?
+
+TRAVIS: Sometimes it doesn’t take that long, you
+know what I mean?
+
+LAURA: What does he look like? What are we doing?
+
+MATT: As the rest of you have already come to
+consciousness in the morning air, begun to situate
+
+your belongings and put out the embers of the fire
+that lasted– pardon– throughout the night. Your
+
+morning belches getting out. Fjord has slept in,
+and has been ever so still in his sleep. Suddenly,
+
+without warning, he suddenly shoots up from his
+sleep, his eyes wide, and as he opens his mouth,
+
+begins coughing and spitting water up.
+
+TRAVIS: (coughing)
+
+SAM: Oh no, he’s injured!
+
+LAURA: Fjord! Have I ever seen this happen to him
+before?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LIAM: Can you speak?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. No, I’m fine.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, you look it.
+
+LIAM: You just spit a lot of water out and you
+were sleeping.
+
+TALIESIN: Was it a lot of water?
+
+MATT: It was a sizeable glass filled with water.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to do something very weird.
+I’m going to walk over and dampen my hand on the
+
+water on his chest really quickly and (sniffing).
+
+MATT: It’s briny and salty.
+
+TALIESIN: Huh.
+
+SAM: Why are you drinking salt water?
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t know that.
+
+SAM: Oh. (in Sam’s voice) Why are you drinking
+salt water?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Jeez, Fjord. That’s a lot of drool.
+
+MARISHA: Does it taste like stomach acid? Because
+that’s gross, man.
+
+TALIESIN: Only one way to find out!
+
+TRAVIS: Like a momma bird. Everybody have some of
+what I puked up. It’s all good.
+
+LIAM: I don’t, I want to make an insight check.
+He’s talking about acid reflux but he just spit a
+
+bunch of water out.
+
+MATT: Yeah, make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. That’s 22.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I don’t think it was acid reflux.
+
+MARISHA: You taste like a seaman.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know. I want to shake your hand,
+but at the same time, I want to smash it.
+
+MATT: I’ve never been more proud of my wife.
+
+TAIESIN: That’s not normal.
+
+LAURA: What happened, Fjord?
+
+LIAM: Does he seem full of shit to me?
+
+MATT: Seems like he’s covering some confusion or
+at least trying to deflect.
+
+TRAVIS: I had a dream, I’m sorry. A vivid one.
+Just shook me to my core a little. I’ll be fine,
+
+really. It’s not a common thing.
+
+LAURA: Why the water, though?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: You never told me where you got that
+sword. I mean, because I saw it get a little soggy,
+
+a little drippy, when we were fighting the frog
+thing, so, you know.
+
+MATT: As you glance down at your sheath on the
+ground, it is empty. There is no falchion.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. That sword is a pickle.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a pickled sword? Are there benefits
+to pickling your weapons?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a mystery.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, right.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s not wrong, though. It actually is a
+pickle. You can taste it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It is very salty.
+
+LAURA: I do like pickles.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s not bad.
+
+LIAM: Is our group going to be all about puns and
+that stuff?
+
+SAM: It’s the lowest form of humor.
+
+LAURA: Is it really the lowest?
+
+TALIESIN: Level three.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, there are some pun competitions
+that get serious.
+
+SAM: Are you all right, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I feel funny. Caleb, you remember me
+asking you about your arcane prowess?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: My small experience with the arcane came
+to me around the same time that sword did.
+
+LIAM: How long ago was that?
+
+TRAVIS: Not too long ago. Very recent. Right
+before I met up with Jester.
+
+SAM: Were you in the ocean?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I was. Did a lot of merchant
+sailing, previously. Had one trip that didn’t go
+
+so well. Suffice it to say, after it was done, I
+found that sword.
+
+MARISHA: What happened on the trip? Rough waters?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Did anyone die?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m not real comfortable talking
+about it.
+
+LIAM: What about the sword? You said you found it
+on the ocean, you found on the boat you were on?
+
+You were on an island? What do you mean?
+
+TRAVIS: I found it on the shore. When I got back
+to land, it was just there. I’m not super familiar
+
+with a ton of weaponry– the sword I know, I had
+some training in it, but this seemed like a unique
+
+sword. I felt like it almost called to me. I know
+how that sounds, but when I picked it up, seemed
+
+like everything changed. Ever since, I’ve been
+able to do more things. Been able to reach out
+
+with some of the stuff I’ve seen you do. That’s
+why I’m trying to make it up to the Academy. I’m
+
+trying to figure out what it is that I have.
+
+LIAM: DM, when I cast Detect Magic in the first
+game, in the tavern, did that sword light up?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t mean to alarm any of you, really.
+I’m trying to be as forthright as I can.
+
+TALIESIN: Where is the sword right now?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I make it appear?
+
+MATT: You look down, and it’s not in the sheath.
+You glance around, it’s nowhere near you.
+
+TRAVIS: I focus. Reach down.
+
+MATT: He looks down at his open palm, and there is
+a flash of greenish-blue, teal energy out of his
+
+grip. There, clutched within his grasp, you see
+the falchion, coated in the remnants of sea floor
+
+life. You see the barnacles encrusted around the
+edge and up the back of the blade, as it begins to
+
+drip water. The same kind that was coughed up by
+Fjord this morning.
+
+TRAVIS: You can see why I’m a little curious about
+this item.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a great trick.
+
+LIAM: I don’t even need to touch it, but would you
+trust me to study it for a moment?
+
+TRAVIS: Do you have any experience with items like
+this?
+
+LIAM: I’m good at figuring things out. I’m
+clever.
+
+MARISHA: I might be able help you with that. I was
+obsessed with underwater life and mermaids, so
+
+I’ve read a few books.
+
+TRAVIS: Could we revisit that idea, perhaps? I’m
+sorry, the night has left me a bit shaken, and I
+
+feel like I need a moment to get my bearings, if
+that’s all right.
+
+LIAM: Ja, you can understand that we would be
+curious, but I don’t want to push anybody. I mean,
+
+we’ve just met.
+
+TRAVIS: Of course not, and I don’t want to make anyone
+feel uneasy. Again, trying to be as transparent as
+
+I can. I don’t quite understand, and I appreciate
+your patience in advance. And I make it vanish.
+
+MATT: You watch as it just disappears out of your
+grip.
+
+LIAM: When he says he doesn’t quite understand, is
+he telling the truth? Is that the same insight check?
+
+MATT: You have to make a new one.
+
+LIAM: 11.
+
+TALIESIN: 23.
+
+MATT: 23.
+
+TALIESIN: This whole story, I’ve been watching.
+
+MATT: As far as you can tell, as forthright and
+honest as you’ve heard him be.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s so disappointing. All right.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, do you think you’re slowly turning
+into water?
+
+TRAVIS: (sighs) No. I hadn’t considered that
+terrifying thought, but thanks. I’ll just add that
+
+to the fucking list.
+
+LAURA: If you feel like it’s happening, let us
+know and we’ll try to catch you in a jar.
+
+TRAVIS: In a jar?
+
+TALIESIN: Unless he runs away.
+
+SAM: We’re not going to let you run into the
+dirt.
+
+LAURA: Maybe something can happen.
+
+TRAVIS: Tell you what, I start sweating real hard,
+I’ll let you know, okay?
+
+TALIESIN: He’s fine.
+
+MARISHA: Has that happened to you before, by the
+way? The whole, “waking up coughing salt water” thing?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t really remember.
+
+LIAM: You wouldn’t have to remember that far back.
+You said that this all started just a few weeks
+
+ago, when you met this one.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t really remember my dreams all that
+well. They leave me quickly.
+
+TALIESIN: I remember all of mine, I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: I’ve never seen him wake up with water all
+over him.
+
+MARISHA: Well, excited to see what unfolds. Shall
+we?
+
+TALIESIN: If you’re going to vomit something, salt
+water’s pretty decent. It could have been way worse.
+
+LAURA: Of all things, it’s way better than vomit.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it’s far superior. Already, you’re
+proving to be an asset.
+
+LAURA: If we get really thirsty, we’ll just come
+to you in the morning.
+
+TALIESIN: You can’t drink– the salt water makes
+you thirstier.
+
+LAURA: Oh, really?
+
+TALIESIN: It feels like you should be able to, but
+you can’t.
+
+SAM: Should we get back on the road, then?
+
+TRAVIS: If you wouldn’t mind.
+
+SAM: How is Horse doing today?
+
+TRAVIS: Horse?
+
+SAM: How’s Horse?
+
+LAURA: What is his name?
+
+LIAM: I was wondering the very same thing,
+actually, all night. I was wondering what we would call–
+
+LAURA: This horse? Maybe he has a name. Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Does the horse have a name? If it did,
+I’ll make one up.
+
+MATT: It probably had a few names, in travel, and
+you’ve gone through a few horses.
+
+TALIESIN: Try not to name them. We’re just going
+to end up eating them.
+
+MATT: So whatever you come up with.
+
+TALIESIN: His name was Winter’s Crest. If he lived
+that long, that was when we were going to butcher
+
+him and eat him. You can rename him, it’s fine.
+
+LAURA: I like it, it’s like a celebration.
+
+TALIESIN: That was the plan.
+
+SAM: Maybe for short we’ll call him W.C.
+
+LIAM: You were going to butcher, at Winter’s
+Crest, and that’s a special treat?
+
+TALIESIN: It means you’re going to eat meat, and
+then you’re going to make some jerky, and then
+
+you’re going to buy another horse with the money
+you make.
+
+MATT: Interesting point, too: For most of you,
+Winter’s Crest would have little meaning. It’s
+
+largely celebrated in continents to the west, as
+it is specific to a historic event that did not
+
+happen in Wildemount. But you’re a carnival, so
+you guys have more of a vast and strange knowledge.
+
+TALIESIN: We celebrate everything.
+
+MATT: When he says Winter’s Crest, maybe Beau.
+
+LIAM: Have I ever read about it?
+
+LAURA: I feel like my mom saw lots of visitors
+from other places.
+
+MATT: It’s possible, but just for a bit of
+information.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like the snooty town that I came
+from would have a Winter’s Crest festival, like
+
+how we have Oktoberfests out here. Even though we
+have no real business having them, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Just glögg. Lots and lots of glögg.
+
+MATT: As you guys look off, at this conversation
+with the horse, the horse is currently about 30
+
+feet off in the field, eating grass out of the
+field.
+
+TALIESIN: If you’re on the road long enough, you
+eat a lot of animals. You eat a lot of beasts of burden.
+
+LAURA: I wander over to the wagon and I go and sit
+down and start drawing, because I need to. I need
+
+to spend a little time.
+
+LIAM: I pull Nott over. Do you know what W.C.
+means in Zemnian?
+
+SAM: What does it mean?
+
+LIAM: Toilet.
+
+SAM: It’s a pun.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I give her a little fistbump.
+
+MATT: As you guys gather up, in the fresh morning
+air, back into the cart.
+
+MARISHA: Do some pull-ups on the tree branches.
+
+MATT: As Beau gets nice and swole for the
+morning.
+
+LIAM: Vasquez.
+
+MARISHA: Just a little bit.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re just too bad, Vasquez.
+
+MATT: (laughter) Vasquez is a pretty good print.
+I think we were talking, Vasquez and Starbuck
+
+from the new Battlestar are both good character
+prints for Beau. Yeah, love that. As you guys
+
+bring the cart back up onto the Amber Road,
+northward, you begin your second-day trek. You
+
+guys push on for a few hours. Is it still Beau and
+Mollymauk keeping point?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll keep.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t mind.
+
+MATT: I’ll have both of you roll a perception
+check, please.
+
+MARISHA: Do we have the highest perception?
+
+TALIESIN: Ugh. I did until it bounced.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. I almost got– samesies. 11.
+
+TALIESIN: Five.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I have decent perception, what’s yours?
+
+MATT: Calm fields.
+
+TALIESIN: I might be distracted looking for things
+that I can pluck out of the fields. All right.
+
+MATT: You push on for a few more hours, the
+afternoon staring to get late. You can choose
+
+soon, when it gets dark, to set up camp again and
+stay another evening out in the fields, or you get
+
+a sense looking at the map that you had procured
+that if you push an extra hour or so past, you
+
+could probably make it to Alfield before the
+night’s done.
+
+SAM: Let’s do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Most of us can see in the dark, it’s not
+a big deal.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay. You guys just hunker down in the
+wagon, okay? You be safe.
+
+MARISHA: Deal.
+
+LIAM: Must be nice.
+
+TRAVIS, LIAM, and TALIESIN: (singing) Must be
+nice.
+
+TALIESIN: Can’t say that, ah!
+
+MATT: All righty. You guys push forward, kind of
+pick up the pace a bit, but the horse and those of
+
+you who are on the sides of the cart, if you wish
+to, you can jog along the side to alleviate some
+
+of the burden.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to scan still while I’m–
+
+MATT: Keeping an eye out.
+
+MARISHA: With my shitty vision.
+
+MATT: Okay. The sun does eventually close towards
+the Cyrios Mountains to the west and night begins
+
+to fall. At this point, you do see just over the
+distance in the hill as darkness comes, you can
+
+see the faint glow, a cluster of light, of a
+village in the distant hills. You get the sense
+
+that this is probably Alfield at the perimeter of
+your vision. As you continue to push forward,
+
+you’ve now gone past eight hours of continuous
+travel into the ninth hour. I would like you all
+
+to roll a constitution saving throw, please.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Whoa. That’s because you guys are– oh, no,
+you’re riding in the cart.
+
+MARISHA: I’m riding.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just like: What’s wrong?
+
+LIAM, SAM, and LAURA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine as well? Wow. It’s like Rammstein on
+that side of the table.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Nein! Cookie monster.
+
+MATT: All right. So the three of you take one
+level of exhaustion.
+
+LAURA: Aw. How do we do that in here?
+
+LIAM: How does that affect us, again?
+
+MATT: This is a good thing to look up.
+Essentially, per point of exhaustion–
+
+TALIESIN: So you go to your HP.
+
+MATT: There you go. So you have disadvantage on
+ability checks until you take a long rest to get
+
+rid of it.
+
+LAURA: Disadvantage on abilities?
+
+MATT: Yes. On ability checks, so skills and things
+like that.
+
+LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys are– you’re a few–
+you’re probably about a half mile away from
+
+Alfield and it looks, even at this distance, a bit
+smaller than Trostenwald, where you were. You can
+
+see the faint clusters of trees on the north,
+eastern and northeastern sides of the city,
+
+otherwise it’s just in this pocket behind a few
+hills. It’s a bit podunk in size, you can gather
+
+from this distance, but it’s welcoming. There’s a
+flash of orange light on the outskirts of town.
+
+LIAM: Did that look arcane to me?
+
+MATT: No, it just looked like a flash. I mean, it
+could have been arcane. It’s hard to tell at this
+
+distance, it’s quite a ways away.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s weird.
+
+MATT: There’s a second one. (flash) You faintly
+see what looks like the distant curl of flames
+
+beginning to spread across what appears to be a
+roof.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: Think we just watched someone commit
+arson, you guys!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not really a–
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go kick their ass.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s do that.
+
+LAURA: Does it look like the fire is spreading at
+all?
+
+MATT: I mean, as you sit here and watch–
+
+LAURA: We’re walking.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s head that direction and start
+yelling at people.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Full sprint.
+
+TRAVIS: Fire!
+
+MATT: You guys begin to go into a faster jog in
+that direction. As you do, you can see the fire is
+
+now beginning to consume a handful of buildings
+and the flames are beginning to flicker higher.
+
+You begin to hear in the distance a very faint
+high-pitched yelp or some sort of a screech. It’s
+
+hard to make it out at this distance, it’s an open
+field area and it’s mingling with what sounds like
+
+now dozens of voices screaming and entwining. As
+you can see the uncontrolled flames still
+
+progressing on the eastern side of the village,
+you can just see, as you get within a few hundred
+
+feet of the western side of Alfield, people just
+running. Villagers, probably a few hundred of
+
+them, are now just running out of the town as you
+guys begin to approach. Towards you and out into
+
+the field. So as you’re approaching, they’re
+coming your direction.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to stop one and ask what
+happened.
+
+MATT: As you glance over, you see a family of five
+halflings rushing right past you. The mother is
+
+dragging two of the younger ones by the hand while
+the father is running alongside the eldest
+
+daughter, probably in her teens. The father wears
+a leather cap and has a handlebar mustache and
+
+simple farm clothing. As you shout out, he makes
+your eye contact.
+
+TALIESIN: What has happened?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I don’t know what happened. They
+started to burn the buildings and these things
+
+"started rushing. The city is under attack.”
+
+LAURA: What things?
+
+MATT: (panicked) “Big things. Dog-faced. I can’t–
+Come on.” They just keep running.
+
+LAURA: Dogs are attacking the village!
+
+MATT: At this point, you guys can see more people
+are fleeing. As you get closer, about 100 feet
+
+outside the city, you watch as the droves of
+people are beginning to get– at least either the
+
+ones that are actively fleeing have made it out of
+the city, or in the process the stragglers are still
+
+coming through. You see a young human man with
+scrappy, tattered brown hair, a bit of blood
+
+dripping down his face, running before his back
+arches and he falls into the grass. You can see an
+
+arrow protruding from his back. At that point, you
+can see, standing up from behind one of the
+
+exterior walls of the city, a humanoid creature
+stretching up to about seven feet tall, muscular
+
+torso with thin dog-like legs. You watch as it
+extends its neck with spots of fur, its ears
+
+curled upwards as it has a dog-like snout at the
+front of it.
+
+LAURA: Werewolves!
+
+MATT: You watch as it leaps onto the back of this
+fallen villager, bites into the shoulder, and tears
+
+a chunk out. Swallows it before it growls into the
+air (yipping howl).
+
+LAURA: Is that a werehyena?
+
+SAM: Have we seen these things before?
+
+MATT: You have. You’ve encountered a roving band
+of these on your way southward.
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+SAM: I think they’re– well, we don’t know what
+they’re called. We just fought them. I don’t know
+
+what they’re called; we fought one before!
+
+LAURA: You know how to kill them?
+
+SAM: You just hurt them until they die.
+
+MATT: It swallows the flesh, grabs the body, and
+then darts back into the city, dragging the corpse
+
+of the villager it’s just killed with it
+rapidly.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s weird.
+
+LIAM: Is it a walled-in city or just parts here
+and there?
+
+MATT: No. They’re small and waist high, and
+shoulder high walls that are partitions here and
+
+there, but it’s largely a farming city.
+
+LIAM: Not fortified at all?
+
+MATT: No, not at all.
+
+LAURA: Is he within range to hit with a spell?
+
+MATT: No, he’s about– well, depends on the spell.
+Right now he’s about 200 feet from you and he’s
+
+running into the city. You can see the flames are
+further in but you can see the orange glow
+
+flickering in the distance.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a quick scan and see if I see
+more?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck this up. That’s okay, 17.
+
+MATT: 17. In the immediate vicinity, you do not.
+You see more people from the village starting to
+
+run out, screaming. You see a handful of
+crownsguard come out, one of them looks wounded
+
+and is, “To the north. Where are they coming
+from?” You see the two of them dart off northward
+
+into the city. What are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I chase after the crownsguard.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Go after the one that stole the guy.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll go after the one that stole the
+guy.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this making my spider sense tingle,
+can I track them?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: You get the sense, at the moment, there’s no
+active idea that these would be considered a
+
+creature that would draw your attention.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, all right.
+
+MATT: Are you leaving the cart there, on the
+outskirts?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LIAM: We leave the toilet behind and we run in.
+
+MATT: All right, as you go charging into the city,
+you’re pushing past fleeing villagers and you can
+
+see some of the buildings now have been locked
+shut. You can see faintly through the windows
+
+furniture being boarded up from the inside. People
+are hunkering down for whatever this assault is.
+
+As you enter, you see the crownsguard went
+northward but the one creature that you saw charge
+
+in went straight towards the heart. Right now you
+can see there’s two main streets that bisect this
+
+small village. There’s one that goes at an angle,
+northwest to southeast. One that goes right
+
+towards the center, west to east. As you head
+towards the center you can see the flames are more
+
+near that central square. As you guys begin to
+run, push past a few more people, the smoke is
+
+starting to billow up and you can see now there’s
+embers rising and then falling. This very faint
+
+ashy rain of small points of reddish-orange light
+that begin to fall with the ash. As you turn
+
+around one of the buildings, there’s one of the
+side walls and four crownsguard all ducked down
+
+behind the wall with crossbows and longbows, all
+back behind it. You can see one that’s adorned
+
+with more ornate armor. You see a person there
+with elven features, but hint at a mixed
+
+lineage. They have their helmet on the ground,
+showing shoulder-length blond hair that’s turned
+
+red in places from a spattering of gore. Through
+gritted teeth they curse in pain as the bandages
+
+are applied to what you can see is a wound right
+around the midsection in the thigh area. Another
+
+soldier is in the process of wrapping it. You
+watch as they go, “Gah! You fool, bind the wound,
+
+"don’t stuff it.” Goes and they pull a bolt back
+into the crossbow and nock it at the ready.
+
+Glancing up and seeing you approach, they scan
+past you– most of you now with weapons at the
+
+ready, it seems, charging forward. “You!” You
+suddenly have an array of arrows, about five or
+
+six, come over the wall. One of them manages to
+pierce the back of one of the crownsguards’ heads
+
+and falls and crumples to the ground. They all get
+lower again. You hear in the distance (growling yips).
+
+The individual looks back to you. “You, are
+you able-bodied?”
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Very.
+
+MATT: “And you’re armed.”
+
+TRAVIS: We are.
+
+MATT: “30 gold a gnoll ear. Now get in there and
+help.”
+
+TRAVIS: A gnoll?
+
+MARISHA: 30 gold a gnoll ear?
+
+LAURA: For each one? How many are there?
+
+TRAVIS: Just go get them.
+
+MATT: They give you a look like– “Just go!”
+
+LAURA: I just don’t want to get overwhelmed is
+all.
+
+MARISHA: Nott and Jester, do you guys have ways to
+block arrows?
+
+MATT: (whoosh) Two of them glace up and fire two
+crossbow bolts over the wall and duck back behind.
+
+You hear a heavy smashing of wood, some more barks
+and gibbering echoing around the way. You can see
+
+now flames curling up to the top of the building
+that you’re all right next to, before the small
+
+wall that bisects the entryway.
+
+LAURA: I have a shield.
+
+TALIESIN: I start one of my swords on the back of
+my neck.
+
+LIAM : We are sitting ducks here. What do we do,
+Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s all on the other side of a wall?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go towards the wall.
+
+MATT: To give you perspective now.
+
+SAM: Oh. This’ll help. Hey side note: where’s my
+fucking wine?
+
+LAURA: Did you leave it?
+
+TRAVIS: You mean your water?
+
+MARISHA: Did you leave it outside?
+
+SAM: Is it gone?
+
+MARISHA: No, it’s just on the table.
+
+LAURA: Whoa! Oh my gosh. Where are we?
+
+MATT: You guys–
+
+LAURA: This is so cool. Look at that flame on the
+side of the roof.
+
+MATT: You are all right over this side area,
+corner. Arrange yourself as you feel you wish to
+
+be. Over there on the far end of the village.
+
+SAM: Oh wow. What a cool map.
+
+MATT: If you wish to, you can place yourselves
+where you wish or show me where you want them to go.
+
+LIAM: I would be pressed against the wall of that
+house.
+
+MATT: Right here?
+
+LAURA: Before I ran over here, I’m going to Caleb.
+I’ll hit you on the shoulder and say, bless you.
+
+And I’m going to give you Blessing of the
+Trickster just in case you want to stealth because
+
+you’re squishy, yo.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so I have advantage on stealth?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll be with Jester.
+
+SAM: The enemies are just all over that
+direction, right?
+
+MATT: With what little bit you’ve looked over to
+the side you can see there are some up on the
+
+rooftops in the distance. You can see their dark
+figures silhouetted by flames, and other bits of
+
+light that normally fill the streets in the center
+of the city. Most you can see are these up here and
+
+you can already see a few bodies of guards and
+civilians that are lying on the ground, carved
+
+open and not moving. You see spatters of blood.
+You still hear them barking and giving orders next
+
+to each other (rabid barking).
+
+LAURA: How far away are the ones on the roof?
+How long is the distance from us?
+
+MATT: Over here? At this distance it’s hard to
+say. I’d say probably in the neighborhood of about
+
+70 to 80 feet from you. You guys, I would like, if
+you are trying to stay out of sight, make a
+
+stealth check, please. Those of you with a point
+of exhaustion, you have disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 19.
+
+LAURA: Six.
+
+TALIESIN: 21.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MARISHA: 25.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+SAM: So revealing–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, well, I’m exhausted.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. As a group, for the moment you
+guys haven’t drawn their attention. You’re still
+
+right next to where there are crownsguard who are
+in the process of a firefight with whatever is in
+
+this vicinity of the city. However, you may or may
+not make it through, for the moment, unseen. You’re
+
+not certain how many there are. But you can hear a
+lot of yipping and growling right around this
+
+large, two-story building that is currently
+engulfed in flames.
+
+SAM: I have an idea. We need to move away from
+here, right, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: We do. We have to use the cover of the
+buildings.
+
+SAM: All right, I think I can do something that
+would make them fire many of their arrows at
+
+something, but not us. Should I do that and then
+as soon as they fire their arrows we can run?
+
+TRAVIS: Diversions are absolutely–
+
+SAM: Diversions! That’s what it’s called, it’s a
+diversion. All right, may I move, is that a thing?
+
+MATT: You may, you’re stealthed currently.
+
+SAM: I take out a bit of fleece, and repeating the
+words and doing the hand gestures that I’ve been
+
+taught and tracing the image of a creature on the
+fleece, I will make a Silent Image of the guard
+
+who told us 30 gold a gnoll. I’m going to have the
+image of that guard dash across, slowly, dash
+
+across this alleyway. Like that way.
+
+LIAM: Maybe amble more than dash.
+
+SAM: Yes, not dash, just walk in a way that he
+could be easily shot.
+
+MATT: Interesting point of order, you’re not too
+certain of the gender of this individual, kind of fluid.
+
+SAM: Okay, great, that long-haired guard
+individual.
+
+MATT: There you go. As the figure leaps over the
+wall and begins making a run towards the center
+
+area, about four different arrows pass through its
+form before one of these gnoll creatures goes
+
+lumbering forward and slashes out to it. This
+gnoll, interestingly enough– the other ones you
+
+see and the one you saw before the city are all
+built and muscular. This one seems to be porous.
+
+With a brief bit of view, you can see there’s
+clumps of fur and exposed bone and part of its
+
+skull is just pushing out of its snout with teeth
+gnashing. As it tears into the illusion, it claws
+
+through, confused, and looks over in your direction.
+As you’re finishing drawing your blade across your
+
+back, what normally would be cold energy suddenly
+flickers into this beacon of bright white light.
+
+SAM: Ooh, nice.
+
+MATT: Something clicks in your mind and you’re
+like, “Oh, I know you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m preparing. How close am I to this
+thing?
+
+MATT: This entity would be here now. It would have
+just left out into that section there.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it see us?
+
+MATT: It does now.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Vicious Mockery at it,
+really quickly.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: Can I invoke Duplicity?
+
+MATT: You may. I’m giving you all one round
+preparation before we roll initiative.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to say, we’re in it.
+This is a fight. So anything you want to do now,
+
+do it.
+
+LIAM: I mutter a few words and my form starts to
+blink in and out of view. There is another Caleb
+
+next to me and another Caleb next to me. Shifting,
+blinking, flashing back and forth and it’s hard to
+
+see where I am.
+
+MATT: Okay. Is that concentration?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it is.
+
+MATT: All right, I’m going to put a concentration
+marker on you just so we remember it.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I also, knowing that we’re probably
+going to be up close, danger close, I’m going to
+
+cast Armor of Agathys on myself. You see a
+spectral frost start to harden around my armor in
+
+a shimmering light.
+
+MATT: That’s cool. So that’s you. That’s you.
+You’re going to Vicious Mockery.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Vicious Mockery. I’m
+going to look at him with my eyes glowing, and my
+
+sword glowing, and in Infernal say, (rasping) The
+light comes to blind your eyes and burn your
+
+flesh. Yeah, 1d4.
+
+MATT: He rolled a 13 minus three. I believe it’s
+wisdom, correct?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: I’m pretty sure that’s a ten and that does
+not make your DC.
+
+TALIESIN: Yup, so he takes three psychic damage
+and he has disadvantage on his next attack roll.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus action– yeah,
+fuck it, let’s go for it– I’m going to activate
+
+both swords.
+
+MATT: You drag the other edge of your blade–
+
+TALIESIN: Should I? Yeah.
+
+MATT: You’ve taken a total of six damage and your
+max HP is down by six. But you have currently the
+
+new invoked Rite on each blade.
+
+LAURA: Can I use my bonus action really fast?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+LAURA: To say a little pray to the Traveler, and
+I’m going to cast Spiritual Weapon.
+
+MATT: You may do that. Where are you going to cast
+it?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast it right above this
+zombie gnoll. It’s going to be in the shape of a
+
+giant lollipop. Like a bludgeoning lollipop.
+
+MATT: You watch as this flash of purplish energy
+suddenly apparates into the air. This thick-like
+
+wooden handle that is jammed into a massive,
+bludgeoning, solid piece of sugary goodness.
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+LIAM: The old fashioned swirly kind?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: With that, you can make an attack with that
+as soon as it comes out. Make a melee spell
+
+attack, please.
+
+LAURA: Okay, 17?
+
+MATT: 17 does hit.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, seven. Seven radiant damage.
+
+MATT: Seven radiant damage, nice. As it strikes
+down, wham! From the creature, already watching
+
+its bones and its form shakes–
+
+LAURA: Oh wait, oh wait, oh wait, I was looking at
+the wrong spell, hold on. Oh, 1d8 plus three!
+
+Seven plus three– Ten!
+
+MATT: Ten. Oh, that’ll be enough. You watch as it
+pulls back with the Infernal shouting of Mollymauk
+
+causing it to prepare itself for a lunge. As it
+gets low, its jaw snapping open, you watch as bits
+
+of its skin fall onto the ground as it does so
+(snarl). And right before it leaps, (wham) it just
+
+smashes it into the ground and its bones go flying
+and scattering in every which direction.
+
+ALL: Oh!
+
+TRAVIS: Is that one of the were-thingies? Damn!
+
+LAURA: That ear is mine!
+
+MATT: All right, so Beau, what are you doing? You
+all have one round of prep. Right now, you’ve gone–
+
+SAM: I cast a spell. Can I also move?
+
+MATT: You can move, yeah.
+
+SAM: As soon as the arrows flew by, I’m going to
+dash across the alley.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: And I’m going to send my duplicate after
+her.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re running that way?
+
+SAM: Yep. As far as I can go.
+
+MATT: All right. And you send your duplicate over
+there as well?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty. And Beau?
+
+MARISHA: I’m also going to use my speed to dash
+across. I can move 40. Can I peek into this window
+
+and see if I can see anything in here?
+
+MATT: Sure. Easy to see in this perspective. You
+glance inside–
+
+MARISHA: Stealthily?
+
+MATT: All right. As you glance inside, you can
+just barely see around the corner. The place is
+
+tossed. It is shattered and ruined. It looks like
+it was once the interior of a small tavern of some
+
+kind, but the kitchen is wrecked and you can see
+two of these gnolls are in the process of grabbing
+
+large sacks out of the kitchen and pulling them
+out through the front door on the opposite side of
+
+the building.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit. Okay. I turn to Nott. I go–
+
+SAM: Look at two unicorns inside?
+
+MARISHA: The gnolls!
+
+SAM: They’re inside the–?
+
+MARISHA: Shh.
+
+MATT: I would like you all now to roll
+initiative.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+ALL: Whoa.
+
+MARISHA: That’s the second one of the night.
+
+SAM: Oh wait, is this an ability check?
+
+MATT: Yes, so these are with disadvantage.
+
+LAURA: Oh, really?
+
+LIAM: Oh, scheiß.
+
+MARISHA: No good?
+
+LIAM: That was worse.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: (German accent) That was worse.
+
+LIAM: That was already bad.
+
+LAURA: Initiative is an ability?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+LAURA: Are attack rolls?
+
+SAM and MATT: No.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Did I already ask that?
+
+SAM: Nope. Don’t worry, though; I touched all your
+dice, so they’re going to roll great tonight.
+
+LAURA: Thanks. Thanks, Sam.
+
+TALIESIN: He may have licked a couple of them.
+
+LAURA: Can you lick this one?
+
+MATT: 25 to 20, anybody?
+
+TRAVIS: 25 to 20.
+
+MARISHA: 24.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to put it back over here. I’m
+going to try it. Maybe it’ll roll really well with
+
+your spit on it.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a very pretty die.
+
+LAURA: It’s so pretty, right?
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: 16. All righty. 15 to ten?
+
+TALIESIN: Nine. Oh, nope, never mind, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, guys. Wow.
+
+LIAM: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All right, ten to five.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+LIAM and SAM: Six.
+
+MATT: Okay, so that order.
+
+TALIESIN: I want them to get a little closer
+anyway. They’re all far.
+
+LIAM: It’s all part of the plan.
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to go great.
+
+MATT: Molly, then Jester. Then Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: And Nott.
+
+LIAM: What’d you get?
+
+SAM: Six.
+
+LIAM: Oh, all together at last.
+
+MATT: All righty, so. Top of the round, as some of
+this has happened. The one gnoll skeletal form has
+
+shattered onto the ground. Some of the other
+gnolls begin to look over in that direction, and
+
+see a few of you over by the guards now, standing
+up and darting over the way. They’re preparing for
+
+some sort of… whatever’s coming. But first of the
+round is you, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Nott.
+
+SAM: Huh!?
+
+MARISHA: Hey, you want to take these guys? You
+ready for this?
+
+SAM: (panicked stuttering) I’m going to drink from
+my flask.
+
+MARISHA: Get ready. I want them to come to this
+window, okay? I’m going to go (whistles) through
+
+the window. Try and get their attention.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Right there?
+
+MATT: Make a performance check.
+
+MARISHA: To whistle? Not great. Not great at all.
+Three.
+
+MATT: All right. The whistle has a bit of volume
+to it. Unfortunately, with the sound of all the
+
+breaking of furniture, them all growling at each
+other, and the general screams in the vicinity,
+
+it’s lost in the chaos. It’s not necessarily a
+quiet atmosphere to draw a guard’s attention. The
+
+gnolls don’t seem to care much for a whistle
+around the window. They’re more focused on
+
+grabbing and running out the front, other way,
+with whatever they’re taking.
+
+MARISHA: Is that my action or a bonus action?
+
+MATT: I’ll let that be like a bonus action, we’ll
+say.
+
+MARISHA: Bonus action.
+
+MATT: Because you were waiting for something to
+happen.
+
+LIAM: Mercer-ful.
+
+MARISHA: Shit. Going in! I jump through the
+window, and before one of them leaves, I’m going
+
+to crack them with the staff right over the head.
+
+MATT: Okay. With a 40-foot movement, that brings
+you–
+
+MARISHA: Can I go in through the window?
+
+MATT: You do. As you go through the window,
+because they’ve mostly shifted into the other room
+
+now; that’s where you see them moving. They’re not
+in the room that’s closest to you, so you go jump
+
+through the window, over the mass, make your way
+through the living room, and you watch as they’re
+
+exiting the door. You get all the way through.
+
+MARISHA: I thought it was much closer than that.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, no. But you do manage to make
+it all the way to this door there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh! They’re going out the back door. I
+thought they were going out that way!
+
+MATT: Nope!
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Is that still what you want to do?
+
+MARISHA: That’s bad disadvantage. Fog of war.
+
+MATT: Well, here’s what you do. As you rush
+through to go after them, as they’re fleeing out
+
+the other side, you come to the doorway and you
+can see there’s one gnoll right in front of you
+
+that hasn’t noticed you rushing behind it. It’s
+currently throwing a corpse of one of the
+
+villagers onto a cart that’s sitting right outside
+of that door. That cart, which is piled up with
+
+other corpses, and bags, and whatever things they
+were robbing from the inside of this building that
+
+they’ve thrown onto this cart. You can now see
+there’s four gnolls that are gathered around it in
+
+the process of throwing things onto it, and it
+looks like they’re getting ready to start pushing
+
+it. They haven’t noticed your arrival, as you’ve
+just darted into the doorway. What are you going
+
+to do?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to double ba– Ah, I can’t
+move anymore, can I?
+
+MATT: No, that was your move to get there.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend a ki point and do
+Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: Well, as your action you can just go into it
+without having to spend a ki point.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, really?
+
+MATT: Because you already used your bonus action.
+The ki point allows you to do it as a bonus
+
+action, but you can just do it as an action any
+time.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh. Great, I’ll do that.
+
+MATT: You just go into the dodge action.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll just hold back and wait.
+
+MATT: Right, so you’re holding back in the
+doorway, and you’re ready to use the door to help
+
+defend you if it needs to. Okay, that ends Beau’s
+turn. It’s now their turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit, already? Oh god.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, this is what was coming.
+
+MATT: They rolled really high in the initiative.
+
+TRAVIS: What are we calling these things?
+
+ALL: Gnolls.
+
+LIAM: G-N-O-L-L.
+
+MARISHA: I thought I was going to still be a lot
+closer to Nott.
+
+LIAM: (sings) G-N-O-L-L.
+
+LAURA: (sings) K-N-O-L-L
+
+MATT: Visibly off to the side, there is…
+
+SAM: N-O-L-L?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s going to be two of them firing
+their bow– Actually, no, three, because they
+
+watched you come out. There’s three of them that
+are going to be firing their bows at Beau.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+SAM: Beau, bow, Beau, and bow?
+
+LIAM: Bobobo-bo bo-bobo.
+
+MATT: They all have disadvantage on the attack,
+however.
+
+SAM: She’s in Patient Defense; she’s going to be
+fine.
+
+MATT: As this one fires off in the direction of
+your duplicitous form, as it disappears through.
+
+As it’s the only thing it can visually see. It’s
+going to stay behind the wall. That’s three
+
+attacks at disadvantage against Beau.
+
+MARISHA: And they all have disadvantage.
+
+MATT: They do.
+
+MARISHA: Because I did Patient Defense?
+
+SAM: You’re going to be fine.
+
+MATT: First one with a longbow, that’s a 15?
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Right. Misses. The first one, you watch as
+it just moves past you and slams into the door.
+
+The next one, from this guy up here–
+
+MARISHA: I immediately go: whoops.
+
+MATT: That’s a 12 and a two. The other one misses
+into the wall. This one over here is going to fire
+
+at you. That’s a 16 and a 14, plus three, 17.
+
+MARISHA: 17 is my armor class.
+
+MATT: The first two: one hits the door; the other
+one, you duck out of the way; and the third one
+
+comes and it’s piercing right towards your chest.
+It’s going to deal 2d8, seven points of piercing damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to use Deflect Missiles
+for my reaction.
+
+MATT: Oh, right! Because you got that for your–
+Okay. As a reaction, you watch this one arrow that
+
+you can’t quite duck out of the way–
+
+MARISHA: (grunting exertions)
+
+MATT: All right. So go ahead and make the roll.
+
+MARISHA: But it’s not super– I’m still level
+three, so it’s more like a cat swat.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re trying to swat it and see if
+you can carry the momentum with it.
+
+LAURA: 20!
+
+MARISHA: That is seven on the dice, plus seven,
+14.
+
+MATT: You reduce the damage to zero and you catch
+it.
+
+SAM: Whoa.
+
+MATT: If you want to, you can spend a ki point to
+throw it, if you want to.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh! Throw that shit!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s do it! Just because I can!
+
+MATT: All right, where are you throwing it to?
+
+TRAVIS: In the foot.
+
+LIAM: At the bitch who attacked you.
+
+SAM: Or the guy in front of you.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do it at the guy in front of
+me, who’s right behind me.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: So I’m going to catch it, and I’m going
+to spin around in a full flourish, and I’m going
+
+to just throw it like a Gambit card with the
+momentum that it’s got.
+
+MATT: All right, so as you grab it, you spin
+around and throw it. Go ahead and make the attack roll.
+
+MARISHA: What’s the attack roll?
+
+MATT: It should be your–
+
+MARISHA: What is it? I’ve never done this before!
+
+MATT: I know. This is new.
+
+MARISHA: It’s brand new!
+
+MATT: Here we go. You just make a ranged attack
+with it, so roll a d20, add your dexterity modifier
+
+and your proficiency modifier, so same as any of
+your other attacks, because it counts as a monk weapon.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits. It takes 1d8, so roll 1d8, plus
+two.
+
+MARISHA: Four. Four damage total.
+
+MATT: All right. I wonder, does it add your damage
+bonus to it, or the original weapon, because it is
+
+your strength throwing it back. Pardon me, folks,
+while we’re figuring out new abilities they can use.
+
+MARISHA: You make the attack with proficiency and
+the missile counts as a monk weapon for the attack.
+
+MATT: It is your attack, so you get to add your
+dex bonus.
+
+MARISHA: So six total.
+
+MATT: All right, so six points of damage. You
+watch as the arrow just sinks into the chest of
+
+its thick hide armor. (snarling)
+
+MARISHA: I go: Hah! Ooh.
+
+MATT: The other ones that are throwing stuff onto
+the cart hear this commotion and turn around and
+
+look at you. Three of them continue just throwing
+stuff onto the cart faster, while the one that’s
+
+immediately in front of you spins around and
+stands tall. You can see it looking down at you a full
+
+foot and a half, almost two feet taller than you.
+(snarling) It’s going to go ahead and grabs a
+
+spear off the side of the wall that it had leaning
+against and it’s going to try to thrust it at you.
+
+It still has disadvantage on the attack, though,
+because you’re in your stance. That’s 16.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: This one, as it goes and thrusts with the
+spear, coming off of the adrenaline of the
+
+deflected missile, you duck low, and then kick the
+spear up, which slams into the top of the door frame
+
+and completely misses you. He’s now stepping into
+the door frame, completely filling it as you’re
+
+backing up into your space, and the two of you are
+in this very intense, small, occupied block.
+
+MARISHA: And I go: no, seriously dude, did you see
+that?!
+
+TRAVIS: My legs are jumping around like crazy
+right now.
+
+MATT: These guys are going to begin pushing the
+cart and it’s going to move at half their movement
+
+to there. This one here is going to move up to
+here, right around the side of this wall, and it’s
+
+going to take its longbow and fire at you,
+because you’re the one they can see.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fair.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage. That is a 15.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: This one, actually, you see over at the
+fire, and you grab the front of the armor of the
+
+gnoll and pull his in front of you, and it actually
+hits the back of his armor, splintering it, and
+
+the smell hits you.
+
+MARISHA: I just go, excuse me for a second. Thank
+you.
+
+MATT: As you let him go, there’s this thick, oily,
+horrible liquid that’s matted in the fur, and the
+
+touch of it’s nasty. The smell itself is very
+acrid of rotting flesh and mangy fur. That’s going
+
+to end all those guys there, they’re pushing
+there. All right, that ends the gnolls’ turn.
+
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, okay. With my 30 feet of movement,
+can I wrap around the far side of the house and
+
+just get to cover of the corner?
+
+MATT: That’s exactly where you can get.
+
+TRAVIS: Now there is an individual over there that
+sucks, right?
+
+MATT: Correct. You see it has a longbow and is
+currently reaching back and it’s pulling another
+
+arrow and getting it notched up.
+
+TRAVIS: I beg for forgiveness, I’m going to try
+some shit. I would like to cast–
+
+MARISHA: We’re all trying some shit, it’s okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Crown of Madness.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: All righty, so what’s the save on that one?
+
+TRAVIS: It is wisdom saving throw, I believe, let
+me double-check. Yeah, wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: No, that’s an eight. I’m pretty sure that
+does not hit.
+
+TRAVIS: So he becomes charmed, and a jagged crown
+of iron appears around his head, and madness glows
+
+in its eye.
+
+MATT: That’s concentration, correct?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it is.
+
+MATT: I’m putting a concentration circle on you.
+All righty, the charmed target must use its action
+
+before moving each of its turns to make a melee
+attack against a creature other than itself you
+
+mentally choose. So it has to be a melee attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, melee. Fucking shit, I saw the bows.
+Damn the words in this book!
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: But I can make him move towards something,
+right?
+
+MATT: That you can.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, good. I’m going to have him climb up
+on that roof and attack that other fucking gnoll
+
+that’s up on that son of a bitch.
+
+MATT: Okay. Since it has to use its action before
+its movement, you watch as it looks up at the top
+
+of the roof, (snarling) and leaps up, climbs,
+scampers up to the side, and gets right up into
+
+base to base with this guy, confusing the other
+gnoll, who looks down at it, like it’s about to
+
+help him, and it doesn’t seem to notice there’s
+any sort of threat there, but it can’t make an
+
+attack on this round.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s fair. Can I use my bonus action to
+use my Mask of Many Faces to make myself look like
+
+a gnoll? No, they’re taller. They’re too tall.
+
+MATT: Well, they’re medium, they’re not–
+
+TRAVIS: Two feet taller, I can only do a foot
+taller or shorter.
+
+MATT: It’s cutting it close, you’d look like a
+small gnoll.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to do it.
+
+LAURA: A teeny gnoll.
+
+MARISHA: He’s the runt.
+
+MATT: You are visible to a number of gnolls in
+this courtyard. You don’t have any movement to
+
+back away from that edge, unfortunately.
+
+TRAVIS: I was hoping to just be– Because I can’t
+see that far– to be right here to hit the only
+
+guy that could see me on the ground there.
+
+MATT: Right, but you’re right on the corner,
+that’s how you were able to see him and send him
+
+this way.
+
+TRAVIS: The guy on the roof can see me as well?
+
+MATT: Yeah, they can both see you. Just so you
+know. The rest of them probably can’t, but you
+
+transform yourself into a gnoll-like appearance.
+All right. Does that end your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: That is it.
+
+MATT: All righty. In the back of the alleyway, one
+of the gnolls stands thicker, more angry, and more
+
+ornate than the rest of the pack. You see heavy
+scale mail armor across the torso, and a large
+
+helmet across its head. You look as thick spines
+about a foot and a half to two feet long are woven
+
+into the scales themselves off the shoulders, the
+back of the helmet, and the sides of the armor.
+
+They look natural, as opposed to metal, like long,
+bony spines that are put onto it, both as an
+
+ornate adornment, or possibly just a means of
+defense and to look scary. It begins barking and
+
+steps forward, giving motions to some of the other
+gnolls, and the ones that are on the cart continue
+
+pushing it, as it steps forward–
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: To there.
+
+TRAVIS: I should have used it on that fucker.
+
+MATT: It’s going to go ahead and use–
+
+SAM: Is that a crownsguard?
+
+LAURA: No, he’s like a Grandmaster gnoll.
+
+SAM: No, the guy next to him.
+
+LAURA: Oh. I feel like that’s a zombie gnoll.
+
+MATT: It’s going to use Incite Rampage.
+
+SAM: Oof, what does that mean?
+
+MATT: It looks over towards the one that’s right
+next to Beau and goes, (snarling). The one that’s
+
+in the middle of the area with you hears that,
+grins, and then gets an extra attack against you,
+
+with disadvantage. And a four. That defense is
+helping you out. It goes to strike again, and as
+
+it comes out with its claw, it’s putting its spear
+to the side.
+
+MARISHA: I do a little duck.
+
+MATT: It misses you entirely. That’s going to end
+its turn at the moment. Then it goes to the guards
+
+on this end. These guards are going to fan out.
+
+TRAVIS: (raspy voice) Hey, come on, let’s go.
+
+MATT: Then they dart back around this way. They’re
+going to find a corner next to you, Jester, and
+
+take a shot at the gnoll that’s up on the roof,
+next to the one that you have charmed. Shit,
+
+that’s going to miss. Five plus five. He fires and
+it goes wide, you see it vanish into the rising
+
+cloud of embers and flame. That’s going to end the
+guards’ turn. They’re getting around and preparing
+
+for the next round to shoot a volley.
+
+LAURA: I pat him on the shoulder and say: don’t
+worry, nobody saw that.
+
+MATT: They glance over their shoulder and is like,
+“Shh!” Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a run. Am I going to
+do this? Am I going to be this idiot? Yeah, let’s
+
+be an idiot. I’m going to take a run to try to get
+cover at the other house. I’m going to try to run
+
+across the alleyway.
+
+MATT: This way?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Dashy-dash?
+
+TALIESIN: Dashy-dash.
+
+MATT: (counting) It will put you at about there.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: But that’s your round.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s my round. I just (zooming).
+
+MATT: Cool. All righty. That ends Molly’s turn.
+Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okie dokie. I’m going to send my duplicate
+out against the wall on this house.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Against that wall. She can go up to
+30 feet. And I’m going to run across–
+
+MATT: That space?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, can I get against the wall further
+in? Yeah, right there, that’s good.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s your turn? You still have an
+action.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, I’m going to use my bonus
+action–
+
+MATT: You currently cannot see anything for it to
+attack. You need to be able to see a target for it
+
+to attack something. So you’d have to be either
+further out. You can do it as part of your
+
+movement, as you run across, make it move and
+attack, and then continue back–
+
+LAURA: As I’m running, can I use my spiritual
+weapon and–
+
+MATT: Can you move it 20 feet?
+
+LAURA: I think it’s 30 feet. Let’s see. 20 feet.
+You’re right, I’m sorry. 20 feet.
+
+MATT: Which direction?
+
+LAURA: Towards the giant guy and hit him!
+
+MATT: Make a roll.
+
+LAURA: Hit him with the rock! 15.
+
+MATT: 15 unfortunately does not hit.
+
+LAURA: Boo!
+
+MATT: It just misses, you watch as the shield
+comes up and deflects the large glowing mace of a
+
+lollipop. Then you continue the rest of your
+movement to dart behind the building. At this
+
+point, you’ve all pretty much shown your cards
+that you’re here and part of this fight. You’re
+
+the only one who’s up in the air.
+
+LAURA: For my action, can I still see my duplicate
+around the corner right there?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LAURA: She is going to cast–
+
+MATT: Well, you would be able to as you’re
+running.
+
+LAURA: Okay. She is going to use the cantrip
+Sacred Flame!
+
+MATT: Against?
+
+LAURA: Against the same big guy!
+
+MATT: These would be things you would have done before you
+ran across.
+
+LAURA: Yes, basically yes, that’s what I did.
+Technically I did this before I moved.
+
+MATT: Just letting you know that usually you have
+to do that as part of your movement. Dexterity
+
+saving throw. That is a 12.
+
+LAURA: Good! He has to beat 13! It hits him!
+
+MATT: It takes 1d8 points of radiant damage.
+
+LAURA: Yes it does! Four.
+
+MATT: After the shield deflects the lollipop, the
+flash of radiant energy burns across the armor and
+
+the torso. Instinctively it puts up the shield to
+try and deflect the blow from the eyes.
+
+(screeches) Looks out and doesn’t see where it
+came from, but it’s singed a little. That ends
+
+Jester’s turn, Caleb and Nott, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah okay, I will move along the table over
+here to this spot.
+
+LAURA: Well, that’s one method to be able to
+reach.
+
+LIAM: I think I have a clear view of the big gnoll,
+correct? From there?
+
+MATT: The big one? You do.
+
+LIAM: I mutter a few arcane words under my breath
+and a circle of flame spins around my hand and
+
+three beams of fire shoot out towards this big
+guy. I cast Scorching Ray. Each one is a separate
+
+attack. First one is a 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+LIAM: Second one is also a 16, the third one is a
+17.
+
+MATT: All three hit.
+
+LIAM: So 6d6 on him.
+
+SAM: 6d6?
+
+LIAM: Because they all hit. That’s four, six–
+
+TRAVIS: What dice are you rolling there, big guy?
+
+LIAM: Nine. That’s the six?
+
+TRAVIS: No, your d20, which one was it?
+
+LIAM: This one.
+
+LAURA: That’s the Grog one.
+
+LIAM: Oh, thank you. (counting) That’s a total of
+19 fire damage on him.
+
+MATT: 19 points of fire damage. As the three beams
+arc out and blast, you see as the large gnoll, who
+
+seems to be a pack lord or leader of some kind,
+sees this coming. Tries to put the shield up, but
+
+all three blast into its armor. You watch as
+flames burn out of it suddenly. As it withdraws
+
+and takes a step back– (grows and howls) It just
+looks angry. It looks hurt a little bit, but
+
+mostly angry.
+
+LIAM: I probably have ten feet of movement which I
+would like to use to move back to where I was and
+
+try to not hyperventilate against the back of this
+building.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Dead center. Yeah. Okay. Good.
+
+MATT: Good to know.
+
+LAURA: I like that you’re facing the wall so it
+looks like–
+
+LIAM: No, I’m like this. I’m doing this.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Nott’s going to poke her head into the window
+where Beau is inside. Beau is within a few feet of
+
+a baddie, right? I’m going to shoot the baddie
+next to Beau. 15.
+
+MATT: 15, that doesn’t– oh wait, for a regular
+gnoll that just hits, barely.
+
+ALL: Regular gnoll!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s all I heard!
+
+SAM: Nine points, that’s including sneak attack
+damage. Plus fury of the small, so 11 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s your level, right? You went up a
+level so technically–
+
+SAM: Ten points of– wait, what did I say? Nine?
+12! Thank you.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. As this gnoll is in the
+process of slamming through the front doorway, the
+
+doorway has been bashed inward on each side and
+Beau is in the process of dodging and weaving and
+
+getting out of the way. You find one opening and
+fire your crossbow bolt. It goes through the
+
+window, through the doorway bisecting the two
+different rooms and straight under the clavicle
+
+near the heart section of it. As it pierces in,
+(screams) and it coughs up a bunch of blood onto
+
+the front of its hide armor. It’s not dead, but
+it’s pretty hurt. That was a pretty nasty blow.
+
+SAM: Movement, I will use to climb up into the
+second floor window. That’s not me. The one next
+
+to your right. There you go.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an athletics check.
+
+SAM: That was good, but it’s disadvantage. That’s
+better. Athletics. It’s a straight ten.
+
+MATT: Ten is exactly what you needed. That was the
+DC to get up onto the second floor. As you come up
+
+into the second floor, you immediately climb and
+leap up through the window into a chamber that is
+
+filled with roaring flame.
+
+SAM: (screams)
+
+MATT: Trying to avert your gaze, the heat is
+pressing into you. There’s a table that’s on fire,
+
+most of the roof has been burned away. There’s
+beams that have fallen. You’re like, “This was a
+
+"bad idea!”
+
+SAM: I say: This is fine!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Can I use my dash? Was that all my movement?
+
+MATT: No, that was your movement to get up there
+and you could use your bonus action if you’d like to.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll use a bonus action to get– Is
+towards the window less fiery?
+
+MATT: It’s still burning, but you’re going to have
+to leap over the flames to get there.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: I’ll say make an acrobatics check to try and
+leap over parts of broken–
+
+SAM: It was two threes.
+
+MATT: You make it across. You leap onto the first
+beam and it breaks. You’re like “Ah, that burns!”
+
+You leap again onto the next one, “Ah, that burns
+too!” Eventually, you get over there. Your boots
+
+are on fire, and you’re having to pat them out
+real fast. You suffer five points of fire damage
+
+getting across the room.
+
+SAM: Rough.
+
+MATT: But you are in an area where it seems it’s
+just embers, and most of the flame is catching
+
+behind you for the moment. You get the sense that
+it might begin to spread in the next minute or so,
+
+but at this point, you’re not immediately in the
+threat of flame and you have a look down into the
+
+entirety of the courtyard with a little bit of
+cover. In fact, it would be considered half cover
+
+up in here.
+
+SAM: Half cover. I’m done. Hey, look at that, it’s
+me in the window.
+
+MATT: At which point, you can see the skeletal
+gnolls that are out there all at once turn and
+
+begin shambling forward. There’s one this way that
+begins to run up and take a swing at your
+
+duplicitous form, before striking out with no
+effect. This one spins and comes up into Beau and
+
+then there’s one that emerges from–
+
+LAURA: I’m going to point out I’ve been doing
+it wrong because I was thinking of my duplicate as
+
+like Trinket was, which had movement the same as
+me, and it is a bonus action to move my duplicate,
+
+which I did not realize. I’m going to stop doing
+that.
+
+MATT: That’s okay, we learn what the new abilities
+do.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I just looked it up and I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: That’s all good.
+
+SAM: So your duplicate is somehow less useful than
+Trinket? Is that what you’re saying?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: She doesn’t give a shit about that bear.
+
+MATT: Out of the doorway here, another one of them
+bursts through and runs to the back and sees the
+
+direction where Jester is in the process of
+glancing over to the side.
+
+LAURA: Oh! That’s real me!
+
+MATT: It uses its action to charge up into combat
+with you. It can’t actually make an attack this
+
+turn, but it’s right up to you. Its gaping,
+vacuous skull, open sockets, trying to bear down
+
+on you. That’s going to end their go, except for
+the one that’s striking at you, Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s one on the roof still, too.
+
+MATT: Well, that’s not one of the skeletal ones.
+That’s going to be, with disadvantage, 17 to hit.
+
+MARISHA: 17 hits.
+
+MATT: 17 hit. It bites out towards you with its
+broken toothy jaws and you suffer six points of
+
+piercing damage as the jaws clamp down on your
+forearm and you’re like “Oh god!” It’s pushing now
+
+to try to find the space next to the larger gnoll
+and they’re both currently blocking the doorway
+
+from your escape.
+
+MARISHA: I’m doing the animal control thing and be
+like: No, no, bad.
+
+MATT: Which, by the way, top of the round. Beau,
+your go.
+
+MARISHA: My go, okay. Let me put these hit points
+in. Apply changes.
+
+LAURA: This makes my duplicate way less fun if I
+can’t move her.
+
+TALIESIN: You get bonus actions all the time.
+
+LAURA: That’s my spiritual weapon.
+
+SAM: She may move if you move away from her 30
+feet; she may just come with you.
+
+LAURA: 120 feet.
+
+SAM: Oh shit. But you can leave her out in the
+open.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, at least she’s directing fire.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to do something creative.
+I’m going to take the arrow that Nott just fired
+
+into the guy’s chest. I’m going to grab it. Can I
+rip it out with my off-hand, spin around, and stab
+
+him back in the blade?
+
+MATT: Awesome, go ahead and roll for your main
+attack.
+
+MARISHA: God blessed fuck. That’s not good. That’s
+a ten.
+
+MATT: You pull it out. There’s a horrible pained
+yelp as you yank it out. As you spin around and
+
+attempt to slam it into its back, its giant, thick
+gnoll arm slams into the door frame and blocks
+
+your ability to pass forward. You get caught over
+its arm and have to withdraw.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to take my other off-hand
+attack on the one that just bit down on me. I’m
+
+going to rip from it and elbow crack it right in
+the nose.
+
+MATT: The one that just bit you? All right, go for
+it.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it. That’s 11.
+
+MATT: 11? 11 doesn’t hit unfortunately. Lot of
+whiffing on both sides when it comes around Beau,
+
+but as you attempt to strike out with the elbow,
+it does strike its skull, and its jaw unhinges and
+
+snaps it back into place.
+
+MARISHA: Shit, that was my bonus action, wasn’t
+it?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: I can’t use a ki point, can I?
+
+MATT: As a bonus action, you can use a ki point to
+do two as your bonus if you have it. Flurry of Blows.
+
+MARISHA: I was wanting to do a ki point to do
+Patient Defense again.
+
+MATT: No, you used your bonus action, sorry. You
+want to move or you want to stay where you are?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, can I back up into the house and
+close the door?
+
+MATT: The door frame is pretty banged up, you can
+try. You can certainly try.
+
+MARISHA: Sure!
+
+MATT: Taking a step back, one has spears, so
+you’re still in its melee range as you try and
+
+close the door. They’ll both get attacks of
+opportunity on you if you do that.
+
+MARISHA: No, I’ll stay.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you stay there holding your
+position. That ends Beau’s turn. The gnolls go.
+
+Before we do anything, the one that’s right next
+to the guy on the wall, what do you want it to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Melee, so if he has a weapon or anything,
+hit him. If not, just knock him the fuck off the roof.
+
+MATT: He has a spear or you can make a shove, up
+to you.
+
+TRAVIS: Spear!
+
+MATT: All right, so the spear attack, it’s going
+to, as it climbs to the top and lunges out with
+
+its arm. Go ahead and make an attack roll for me.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, okay. Plus anything?
+
+MATT: It is plus five.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 20.
+
+MATT: Sorry, plus four.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 19.
+
+MATT: 19 definitely hits. Go ahead and roll 1d6
+damage plus two. Two hands technically, so that
+
+would be 1d8. Sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s much better. Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine. Nein! It jams the spear with both hands into
+its friend and the gnoll yelps and grabs it and
+
+pulls it out and looks at it confused and angry.
+Trying to figure out what exactly happened. As it
+
+does so, it’s going to attempt to shove it off the
+wall that just hit it. Make a roll for the
+
+athletics check of the other gnoll.
+
+TRAVIS: Adding my modifier or its?
+
+MATT: Its modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: 16 plus?
+
+MATT: 16 plus two. It beat it. It rolled a 17.
+After it gets stabbed and looks back at the gnoll
+
+that you took control and Sparta-kicks it off of
+the edge of the roof. It slides and tumbles down,
+
+landing onto the ground prone right next to Molly.
+It does suffer one point of falling damage. Molly,
+
+you watch as it tumbles and hits the dirt next to
+you and it’s like (groans). You watch as this
+
+mystical crown of weird iron horns are floating
+above its head.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this–?
+
+MATT: That takes up his turn. This guy’s going to
+move forward and advance. This is unfortunate for
+
+Beau, partially. This one is going to fire at
+Beau. This one actually can see Nott and this one
+
+is going to take a shot at Nott as well. So one
+attack against you, Beau, from that gnoll there.
+
+That’s going to be 11, misses. It actually hits
+the wall and embeds itself into the side of the
+
+door frame. The two attacking you, Nott– You do
+have partial cover on these guys. Half cover will
+
+be plus two bonus to AC. The first one is going to be a
+20.
+
+SAM: Hits.
+
+MATT: The second one is a natural two. The one
+that does hit you, you suffer nine points of
+
+piercing damage. A lot of nines tonight! As the
+arrow suddenly arcs upward and hits you right in
+
+the side of the jaw and carves through part of
+your neck that way before it exits out the other
+
+side. You have this big gash on the side. It
+doesn’t quite hit the jugular, thankfully, but it
+
+is pretty messy as you are starting to bleed down
+the side of your neck.
+
+LAURA: Isn’t she harder to hit because she’s so
+little?
+
+MATT: Yeah, but that one had some decent aim.
+These guys here continue to push forward that way
+
+and they’re going to use their other action to
+push forward. This guy is going to go ahead and
+
+throw another body up onto this as the other one’s
+pushing it. They don’t get quite as far because
+
+one of them stopped pushing, but they’re getting
+to the edge of the map. The one that’s snarling
+
+there is watching them vanish behind. This guy
+around the edge is going to, let’s see. Seeing you
+
+yelp up in the window, he’s going to take a shot
+at you. Beau’s currently being dealt with two of
+
+them and you’re up in the flames right now. That
+is going to be a 15, which I do not believe hits.
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MATT: This one strikes the ember wood on the
+outside and breaks through, but it only comes
+
+partially out and is embedded, missing you by an
+inch. That finishes the gnolls’ turn, I believe.
+
+Oh, this guy is going to turn and take a swing at
+Beau with a spear, two hands. That is a 16.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: 16 misses. It swings out and you actually
+catch the spear off to the side and you’re now in
+
+a strength tug of war with its own weapon as
+it’s–
+
+MARISHA: My stick! Mine! Drop it! Bad! Do you want
+to play or not?
+
+MATT: Ending their go, it goes to Fjord’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Crown of Madness piece of shit. Can I go
+ahead and send, using my action to maintain it,
+
+can I send that stupid ass back up the roof?
+
+MATT: Let me double-check something.
+
+TALIESIN: The damage may have–
+
+TRAVIS: Knocked it out. No!
+
+MATT: I don’t know if that’s the case. It’s not
+just that. It already moved on its turn, it takes
+
+its turn, you have to spend your action to maintain
+the spell, so it won’t do anything on your turn.
+
+So either you continue to maintain the spell, and
+then next turn it’s still under your control, or
+
+you do whatever you want–
+
+LAURA: Or you drop it because he’s prone and Molly
+will get super advantage on hitting him.
+
+SAM: Super advantage!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I don’t know what the crown is.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck it, I’ll drop it and I’ll come into
+the street, down the way 30 feet. But I look like
+
+a gnoll.
+
+TALIESIN: Concentration’s gone.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right. Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: But I still look like a gnoll.
+
+MATT: Yes, you do.
+
+TRAVIS: That will be my turn.
+
+MATT: All righty, are you holding your action to
+do anything?
+
+TRAVIS: I guess, because I dropped it, I have it.
+
+MATT: You have your action because you didn’t
+maintain the spell.
+
+TRAVIS: With my action, I’m going to cast
+Hexblade’s Curse on that big son of a bitch.
+
+MATT: This guy?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: I believe it’s a bonus action to do that,
+isn’t it?
+
+TRAVIS: It is.
+
+MATT: So you still have your action.
+
+TALIESIN: You could even make it to get into his
+face.
+
+TRAVIS: With my action, I will Eldritch Blast from
+where I am.
+
+MATT: Go for it, make the attack roll.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you. Skadoosh. It’s a 15 plus six,
+21.
+
+MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Amazing, 1d10. (counting) Sorry, I
+should’ve looked at this beforehand. 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage. As you rush up, you
+watch as this squatter gnoll saunters out in the
+
+middle, points to the seeming leader of this
+cluster, and as it does, the soot and ash from the
+
+ground begins to affix itself around the inside of
+its armor, holding it in place for the moment.
+
+With the other hand holding the suddenly
+appearing barnacle-studded blade, you unleash
+
+this blast of eldritch energy that slams into the
+center of the armor. You watch as the energy
+
+courses through all of the crevices between the
+scales that are overlapping. As it fades, you
+
+watch as this bit of steam and blood come out of
+its mouth, and it turns right to you, its head
+
+turning, it spits a cluster.
+
+TRAVIS: (yipping)
+
+MATT: We’ll get to that. That’s your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s it.
+
+MATT: Okay, it’s his turn now. Now it– (shrieks
+and growls)
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And goes running and rushes up towards you.
+You watch as previously it just had this large
+
+pole on its back? It pulls it and brings it loose
+as you see a large two-handed glaive come swooping,
+
+which doesn’t actually– it can get to there and
+still hit you because of its reach. As it runs
+
+forward, it brings it down. It’s going to
+multi-attack you twice with it.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: First one is going to be a 21 to hit?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that’ll hit.
+
+MATT: And a 17 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Both hit.
+
+MATT: Both hit. All right.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s okay, I’ve got the armor. It deals
+damage when you hit me.
+
+LIAM and LAURA: Ooh.
+
+MATT: That is eight points of slashing damage on
+the first hit. Wham! As the large polearm– the
+
+axe-like hooked blade at the end of it. You can
+see the same spines that are on its armor are
+
+affixed to the edge of it. As it slams down
+towards you, the armor bursts, this cold energy
+
+that– how much damage does he take?
+
+TRAVIS: I got ten temporary hit points at
+second level, so he takes eight points of cold damage.
+
+MATT: Slick. Second strike? He rolled a one. That
+is going to be four points of slashing damage for
+
+the second strike.
+
+TRAVIS: So he’ll take two points of cold damage
+and I’ll take the other two points.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+MARISHA: You have so many fun gadgets!
+
+MATT: Oh! He does get back his Incite Rampage. At
+which point, he’s going to go ahead and glance
+
+over towards the gnoll that is– hmm.
+
+SAM: The grassy gnoll?
+
+MATT: The grassy gnoll, yes. Thank you, Sam.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you, Sam.
+
+MATT: All right, yeah. The only one that they can
+currently see that’s in melee range at the moment,
+
+because the wall’s there, is going to be the one
+next to Beau.
+
+SAM: No, really. Thank you, Sam.
+
+MATT: Sincerely. So after it strikes you twice
+with the glaive, bits of ice shards spray off with
+
+each blow now affixing to the ash and the energy
+that’s instilled this armor after you blasted it.
+
+It looks over to the one right in front of Beau
+and goes (growls and snarls) and it glances over
+
+its shoulder, and with renewed strength, pulls the
+spear free from your grasp and goes for another
+
+strike against you as a reaction.
+
+MARISHA: Bad dog.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 19 to hit.
+
+MARISHA: How much?
+
+MATT: 19.
+
+MARISHA: That one hits.
+
+SAM: How many are engaged with you right now?
+
+MATT: Two.
+
+MARISHA: Three? Two?
+
+LAURA: She’s so wanted.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be seven points of piercing
+damage.
+
+LIAM: Apologies to my friend.
+
+MATT: All righty, that’s going to end his turn and
+the guards back here are going to come forward and–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, let’s go this way!
+
+MATT: They’re both going to fire at the one on the
+rooftop.
+
+SAM, TRAVIS, and TALIESIN: Hey!
+
+LAURA: (laughter) And a miss and a miss!
+
+MATT: First one’s a miss. Second one is a 16. That
+hits.
+
+SAM: Hey!
+
+MATT: It’s an eight plus two so that’s ten points
+of damage. Based on the Crown of Madness damage it
+
+took earlier, the spear’s enough to finish it
+off. You watch as on the top, it goes and draws an
+
+arrow and pulls it back, looking down at you as
+you’re down in the square. Then one of the guards
+
+pulls its crossbow and (shrieks) it stumbles back
+and falls dead on the ground.
+
+TRAVIS: Here we go.
+
+MATT: That ends that one, the other guard over
+there. They’re going to go ahead and move up the
+
+side and step out now that it seems to be opening
+and is going to fire towards the skeletal gnoll
+
+that is currently in the process of harassing the
+image that as far as they’re concerned is just
+
+Jester. It’s going to be– yeah, that hits.
+Without issue.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not used to melee combat. This is so
+terrifying.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Get up in that.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t want to get up in that.
+
+TRAVIS: Get a whole bunch of stank right in your
+face.
+
+MATT: Pulls out the heavy crossbow and fires and
+does 11 points of damage, which is enough to
+
+shatter the skeletal gnoll witherling. As it falls
+to the ground and breaks into a scattered pile of
+
+bone bits and dried gnoll flesh. That ends the
+guards’ turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to stab this thing that just
+fell right in front of me. Just going to stab it.
+
+MATT: It is prone, so I believe you have advantage
+against it. Yep! With each attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Question about Rite of the Dawn, is it
+just plus three or is it just my wisdom or is it
+
+also a–?
+
+MATT: Wisdom bonus is against undead creatures.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, this is not an undead creature.
+
+MATT: It is not. There are undead creatures
+among the pack, but there are none there. It’s just
+
+straight Rite damage.
+
+TALIESIN: So it’s just an extra 1d4. Okay,
+just checking. That’s how that works. Okay, cool.
+
+See if I hit? Thank you. 13?
+
+MATT: 13 unfortunately misses. The first strike–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: As you swing down onto the ground, it
+scrambles about and pulls its shield up just in
+
+time. Your blade catches the edge, embeds itself
+an inch into its rear.
+
+TALIESIN: I hit it with the other one.
+
+MATT: You use your one blade to push the shield
+off to the side as it’s still there, and trying to
+
+jam downward. Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: Definitely hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Come on. Oh, thank God. 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: (chanting) Level three! Level three!
+
+TALIESIN: So that’s nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage. You manage to jam
+underneath and hit it in the chest. It shrieks with pain
+
+and pushes the blade out of its body with a sheer
+flexing of its muscle. It begins to try and get up
+
+off the ground. It’s hurt, but it’s still standing or about
+to be standing in a moment. You can move if you’d
+
+like to.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s right. I can break combat
+with it. It doesn’t matter, right? At this point?
+
+Or does it get an attack of opportunity?
+
+MATT: It does get an attack of opportunity, but it
+has disadvantage on him.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no way I can circle up onto the
+wall, is there?
+
+MATT: Onto the wall?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Get a little vantage on him.
+
+MATT: You could.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to be able to hop on because I want to
+head that direction afterwards. All right.
+
+MATT: You get up onto the wall.
+
+TALIESIN: And that way, if he tries to run or do
+anything, I can futz with him.
+
+MATT: Cool, that’s fine. Molly, your turn is over.
+Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Yay! I’m going to run away from this guy
+that’s next to me. I’m going to run out into the
+
+alley so I can see people.
+
+MATT: This way?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: As you rush out, it takes a swing attack of
+opportunity towards you. This is going to be with
+
+a club. It has a heavy wooden club and it makes a
+giant arc towards you as you speed away. That is
+
+19 to hit.
+
+LAURA: Can I use a reaction on that?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to say “I am rubber and you are
+glue” and use Hellish Rebuke on him. In Infernal.
+
+MATT: All right. Well, first, the club hits you
+and you take five points of bludgeoning damage.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: As you turn around, you say that at him and
+unleash your Hellish Rebuke. He has to make a
+
+constitution saving throw, I believe it is,
+right?
+
+LAURA: Maybe. Hold on.
+
+SAM: You have to save first.
+
+LAURA: I’m applying my changes to my health.
+
+SAM: Now close out of that.
+
+LAURA: This is so much!
+
+MATT: It has to make a constitution save– No,
+that’s dexterity saving throw, which it does not
+
+make. It’s seven. So it suffers 2d10 cold damage. So how
+much did you deal?
+
+LAURA: Oh, 2d10. Okay. Nine.
+
+ALL: Nine.
+
+TALIESIN: This is becoming a thing.
+
+LIAM: So sorry, guys. There you go.
+
+MATT: As you dart away, you release your fury and
+anger, and you watch as suddenly this blast of cold
+
+water and ice energy burst out of its body. The
+inside of its somewhat cavernous ribcage is now
+
+filled with frost crystals, jutting out and
+breaking parts of the ribs. It looks heavily
+
+damaged, but still standing.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, chilly!
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+SAM: You still have your action, right?
+
+LAURA: I know, and my bonus action!
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: So for my bonus action, I’m going to send
+my lollipop towards the giant guy and try to hit
+
+him. At the same time, I’m going to cast– What am
+I going to cast? Radiant– No, Guiding Bolt!
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: With, you know, I’m going to do a little
+flourish, like pink energy comes out.
+
+MATT: All right. Go ahead and make your spell attack.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Spell attack? Ooh, that’s good.
+That’s a 19 plus five.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s new dice, man.
+
+LAURA: Yes, yes, yes.
+
+SAM: I touched one.
+
+LAURA: You didn’t touch these ones.
+
+SAM: That’s why they rolled so shit.
+
+LAURA: Six, eight, nine radiant.
+
+ALL: Nine!
+
+MATT: What’s up with the nines? It’s getting
+ridiculous.
+
+TRAVIS: CritRoleStats is going– (clicking).
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LIAM: We’re losing subscribers in Europe
+right now.
+
+LAURA: That’s radiant damage, and then the
+Spiritual Weapon–
+
+MATT: All right. Guiding Bolt: the next attack
+against it has advantage.
+
+LAURA: Oh, good. Then the Spiritual Weapon will
+have advantage. Great!
+
+LIAM: Halt den Mund!
+
+LAURA: Oh, good. So that’s 20.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage for Spiritual
+Weapon.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice!
+
+LAURA: Where’s my eight? Six plus three is nine!
+
+ALL: Nine!
+
+MATT: This is absurd, guys. This is absurd. All
+righty, does that end your turn?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I’m going to use the rest of my
+movement to run over and try to get behind this wall.
+
+MATT: You’re from over there, that’s (counting)
+20, you have ten more feet. You can get there.
+
+LAURA: That’ll work. I was going to go to the
+brick wall.
+
+MATT: Oh, the brick wall. You’ll get up onto it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, sure, why not?
+
+MATT: It’s considered rough terrain, so you
+technically can’t get all the way on the other
+
+side. You climb up onto it. That finishes your
+turn. As you finish blasting with the Guiding
+
+Bolt, at the same time as it slams and sparkles
+you watch as the lollipop clubs down onto the
+
+back of its head. That ends your turn. Caleb,
+Nott, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I start moving back towards the same
+vantage point I had before and I see Jester above
+
+me, and I see a guy over there covered in ice, and
+I whip around and the diamond comes up and I go
+
+(sizzling) and I was about to make it acid, but
+there’s ice everywhere so it’s ice now. Chromatic
+
+Orb off to the big guy in the middle of town
+square, yeah.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make the attack roll.
+
+LIAM: It misses entirely.
+
+MATT: It spins and hits the ground. You watch as
+ice crawls up the side of the building. I will say
+
+it does manage to put out part of the fire that is
+currently burning the building.
+
+MARISHA: You did a good thing here. You did good
+today.
+
+TALIESIN: You made lemonade. Way to make some
+lemonade.
+
+MARISHA: You just got the participation trophy.
+
+LIAM: Then I use the rest of my movement to press
+my back against the wall and go nein, nein, nein.
+
+MATT: As you move out, where are you at now?
+
+LIAM: Still behind the same building.
+
+MATT: You dart out and fire, and then back. All
+righty. That ends your turn. Nott!
+
+SAM: Just a little perspective here. The gnolls
+pushing away the cart, how many are there? And
+
+what are they–?
+
+MATT: There are currently three that are gathered
+around it and in the process of pushing it.
+
+They’re getting momentum as it’s going.
+
+SAM: No obvious weak points on the cart or
+anything?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check. It will take your
+bonus action to do so.
+
+MARISHA: Take out a wheel!
+
+SAM: It’s going to take my bonus action to do so?
+Then I will not look at the cart.
+
+TALIESIN: It will move slower if we kill them.
+
+SAM: I’m sure it will, but I don’t know if I could
+kill one in one shot. Instead I will, using my
+
+goblin feet claws, just dig in and I’m going to go
+upside down so I can see into where Beau is and
+
+shoot one of the ones next to her.
+
+LAURA: You can do that?!
+
+SAM: I don’t know!
+
+MATT: As you dig in and hang down, you watch as
+your hood and hair hangs upside down. You pull the
+
+crossbow down. The tension of the bolt is holding
+it in, thankfully, otherwise it would just fall
+
+from its upside down standpoint, and you
+fire! You can go ahead and make a strike.
+
+Technically you have two that you’re in view of
+here, they both have three-quarters cover because
+
+of the nearby door and the angle.
+
+SAM: The ones next to her?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Ugh. Well, I got to hit them.
+
+MATT: Which one are you shooting? The skeletal one
+or the–?
+
+SAM: The one that I hit before.
+
+MATT: Okay, so that one. Go for it.
+
+SAM: That is 17.
+
+MARISHA: I think that hits, right?
+
+MATT: 17 would hit if it didn’t have
+three-quarters cover, which gives a plus five bonus
+
+to AC.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, poopers!
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, it’s just the large part of
+the door frame in the way, there’s Beau in the
+
+way, and there’s a lot going on in that moment. As
+you go and fire it just zips past and slams into
+
+part of the now broken door that’s coming off the
+hinges.
+
+TALIESIN: Man, I hate level three.
+
+SAM: Cool. I’m going to go pop back up to the top
+floor, and use my bonus action to hide.
+
+MATT: All righty. Go ahead and make a stealth
+check.
+
+SAM: Nope. Ten.
+
+MATT: You get down low, but your hood and hair are
+now frizzed and poking out the side. That ends
+
+your turn, Nott. This one is going to rush
+forward, pursuing Jester. That one is going to
+
+attempt to continue to whale on Beau. That’s going
+to be a 15 against Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Misses, you just duck out of the way as it
+tries to bite you and slam your elbow onto its
+
+snout, knocking it out of the way. Just holding
+on, holding off in this doorway. The one that runs
+
+up towards you is going to attempt to hit you
+again with a club. That is going to be a 19. Again.
+
+LAURA: Ugh!
+
+MATT: Oh that’s a d4, sorry. That’s six points of
+bludgeoning damage. Whack! As the club hits you in
+
+the back of the head as you’re just climbing over
+the top of the wall. You have to catch yourself
+
+from tumbling face first into the dirt on the
+other side. You manage to catch your footing on
+
+top of the wall. But it’s now up, and in
+combat with both you and the guard from earlier.
+
+That ends their turn. Top of the round, Beau,
+you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god, okay. I’m going to taste a little
+bit of blood that’s now in my mouth, get real
+
+fucking pissed off, and I’m going to do a Star
+Wars-style flourish and go crack down to the new guy.
+
+MATT: The skeletal one? There’s a skeletal one,
+and there’s the one that’s been fighting you this
+
+whole time.
+
+MARISHA: Which one looks like he has less damage?
+
+MATT: The skeletal one hasn’t been damaged yet,
+but it looks a little more fragile. The one that
+
+got shot by Nott earlier still has the big–
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do the skeletal guy.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Do the attack.
+
+MARISHA: Not good at all. 14.
+
+MATT: That hits. Doesn’t have as strong an armor class
+as the other one.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. That one’s already
+been damaged previously. As you bring the staff
+
+down with both hands, whack, you slam right
+through the center of its chest and clavicle. You
+
+watch as the torso breaks and folds from the
+weight of the blow. The skull tumbles off and hits
+
+the ground, and it falls into a pile of bones and
+rags.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to use my bonus action. With
+that momentum, I’m going to stick the staff in the
+
+ground, and use that to lift myself up and do a
+two-footer kick into the other guy.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Single attack?
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do Flurry of Blows.
+
+MATT: All right, so this is your third ki point?
+
+MARISHA: Nope, this is my second.
+
+MATT: Right, because you did the– No, because you
+did flurry earlier, didn’t you?
+
+MARISHA: I did, but I did it as an action, not on
+a bonus action, and you said I didn’t have to use
+
+a ki point.
+
+MATT: No, a Flurry of Blows, I thought.
+
+MARISHA: I did Patient Defense, I did one Flurry
+of Blows–
+
+MATT: You did the dodge action, as an action,
+which doesn’t take any ki points. You spent one
+
+doing a Flurry of Blows earlier.
+
+MARISHA: I spent one doing deflect, and then one
+to do Flurry of Blows.
+
+MATT: This is your third one.
+
+MARISHA: No. This is the second one. This is the
+first Flurry of Blows I’m doing.
+
+MATT: I’m sorry, that’s what I was asking, my
+confusion. Cool, so go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Shit, I don’t remember. This was what I
+rolled, right? Okay, not good. Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten against him? Nope. As you kick both feet
+forward, one hits and skims off the shoulder. The other?
+
+MARISHA: The other is okay. 15.
+
+MATT: 15 just hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) Pour some sugar on him.
+
+MARISHA: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage? All righty, based on
+the damage that you had sustained earlier and the
+
+blows from earlier, as you strike him with the
+other foot, you snap the side of his jaw, which
+
+breaks out. As he stumbles backward, you take the
+back of the staff and crack up underneath the jaw,
+
+snapping the neck the rest of the way, and it
+falls to the ground, no longer moving. You still
+
+have your movement.
+
+MARISHA: Now I’m going to look around, and I’m
+going to step back and into the house for just a minute.
+
+SAM: Into the house?
+
+TALIESIN: This is fine.
+
+MARISHA: This is fine. Just so I have cover. Right
+in the doorway.
+
+TRAVIS: Just going to take a quick timeout.
+
+MARISHA: Quick timeout.
+
+SAM: There’s a really loud ticking clock in the
+room with you.
+
+MARISHA: You hear a (faint scream) in the
+distance.
+
+MATT: With that, this gnoll is going to stand up.
+Molly’s on the wall.
+
+TALIESIN: I know, I’m being an asshole.
+
+MATT: It’s okay. Stands up.
+
+TALIESIN: Man, I’m normally the one with shaky
+hands.
+
+MATT: That’s more because these walls are not the
+most sturdy. There you go. Stands up to you. This
+
+one is going to step forward into the way. This
+one is going to join in there. Those three now in
+
+visual range. These two are both going to take
+shots at Jester. This one’s going to take a shot
+
+at Fjord. Two longbows aiming in your direction.
+That’s a 20 and a natural one. The second one
+
+misses. You suffer eight points of piercing damage
+as the arrow sinks right into your torso, right in
+
+the stomach area, and pierces through. You catch
+it with your hand, but it’s still a few inches
+
+into your actual midsection. Then there’s the one
+over here that turned around and sees you now
+
+engaging with the current pack leader.
+
+TRAVIS: But I’m a gnoll! Ah!
+
+MATT: That’s a 15.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just confused, that hits.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be six points of piercing
+damage. This one now slams into the side of your
+
+knee, and hits the meaty part, so thankfully it’s
+not locked in the bone or any of the joint, but it
+
+hits you in the side and you buckle to that side
+from the pain.
+
+TRAVIS: Understood.
+
+MATT: This guy over here is going to leap down and
+begin helping push the cart.
+
+ALL: No!
+
+MATT: With that, the cart pushes another full 40
+feet and is currently off of the board. Let me
+
+mark it over here.
+
+MARISHA: How do we feel about the cart?
+
+LAURA: We got to get the cart!
+
+SAM: I can take a shot at the cart, but what is
+one arrow going to do?
+
+TALIESIN: We can take out people pushing it.
+
+MATT: That finishes the gnolls’ turn there. Oh,
+there’s the one that’s attacking Molly. It’s going
+
+to take its spear and attempt to two-hand strike
+at you. That is cocked.
+
+TALIESIN: Does he have a spear? I thought he had a
+bow. Oh, he’s got both.
+
+MATT: 13 to hit, which I don’t think hits.
+
+TALIESIN: No, it does not hit.
+
+MATT: You, on the wall, dance off the way, leap as
+it goes up. All right, and I believe that’s all
+
+the gnolls immediately in the vicinity that are in
+combat. That ends the gnolls’ turn. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, great, awesome, sweet. Can I use
+Eldritch Blast against the big fucking guy,
+
+because he didn’t get any closer for a melee
+attack, right?
+
+MATT: You’re still within his attack range,
+because he has the glaive. You do have
+
+disadvantage on Eldritch Blast.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Imma fucking move out of his attack
+range. Does that give him attack of opportunity?
+
+ALL: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m doing that anyway. I’m going to
+move back towards the corner where I was going.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+TRAVIS: No, all the way back. Back towards my
+original hiding place.
+
+MATT: You pull back to the corner there. As you
+pull back, he takes a step forward and reaches out
+
+with the glaive to try and strike you.
+
+SAM: Does he have any disadvantage or anything?
+
+MATT: Nope. That is a 23 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: That is going to be ten points of slashing
+damage. As you back away, arcs downward.
+
+TRAVIS: I will now, out of his melee range,
+Eldritch Blast. Ugh, God, that’s not great. 13.
+
+MATT: 13 does not hit. Now that it’s seen the
+Blast, after it strikes and grins you hear this
+
+(hyena chuckle) under its breath. You turn around
+and go to strike out with the Eldritch Blast, and
+
+it pulls one of the other gnolls nearby and yanks
+it in front of him, just as the shield takes it
+
+off, then sets him back in place. Deflects it with
+its own guy.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. As I’m pulling around the corner,
+can I use my bonus action to drop the stupid,
+
+runty gnoll look?
+
+MATT: You don’t have to spend a bonus action, you
+just drop it. Pulling back from the fire, yeah,
+
+you can get just around that corner. The guard
+lets you by.
+
+TRAVIS: I need cover.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. The leader at this
+point makes this loud gibbering sound that echoes
+
+throughout the alley, turns, and runs off to
+pursue the cart.
+
+SAM: He left!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re at level three, that’s got to be an
+acceptable option right now.
+
+SAM: No!
+
+LAURA: That means we almost killed him, that’s
+what that means! We almost had him.
+
+MARISHA: Do we chase after him?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That ends his turn. The guards now, who have
+notched their crossbows again, are going to take
+
+shots at both of those guys right there. Fucking
+two. That does hit. The other one gets hit.
+
+LAURA: Have we killed any of the gnolls-gnolls?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s simple numbers. Them leaving is
+a good–
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking a slice at this guy again. I
+don’t have advantage anymore.
+
+MATT: You do not. He is not prone anymore,
+unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Slice number one. Oh, for fuck’s sake.
+Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten does not hit, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Slice number two. That hits, thank you!
+23.
+
+MATT: 23 will hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s five points of damage and two
+points of extra damage.
+
+MATT: Radiant? All right. The first one, you swing
+and it ducks out of the way, and attempts to
+
+strike upward with its spear. As you do, you knock
+it to the side, with the scimitar that missed, and
+
+with your other hand, strike down right across its
+face. You arc through and you actually carve one
+
+of the eyes in twain. You see a large red mark
+where you’ve split part of its face, and it’s hurt
+
+really bad, but it’s still standing. There’s gore
+dripping out of the socket where its ruined eye
+
+sits. (snarls)
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and circle around it to
+get out of the way of the archers. I’m going to
+
+hop back off and get behind him.
+
+MATT: You can do that without a problem. You
+leapfrog off of him, grab his shoulders, and land
+
+behind him, scimitars at the ready. Okay, ending
+Molly’s turn. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: What about the guards?
+
+MATT: The guards already went. Oh, she didn’t
+fire. Sorry, thank you for reminding me about
+
+that. The other guards did go, she did not– They
+did not.
+
+LAURA: Aren’t they going to attack this skeleton
+one that’s right here next to both of us?
+
+MATT: They throw their crossbow to the ground and
+pull out a morningstar, and does a sideswipe
+
+towards this– That is a 19. We’ll say that
+straight up hits. That does five plus eight points
+
+of damage to that one. I don’t think you’ve
+damaged that one yet, right?
+
+LAURA: Yes I had. I did the Hellish Rebuke to it.
+
+MATT: That’s right, you did! That was the wrong
+one. All right, with that, they swing backwards
+
+with the mace and hit the side of the skeletal
+head, which shatters immediately upon impact,
+
+ruining its form, and is no longer part of the
+battle.
+
+LAURA: I am so surprised I fall off the wall!
+
+MATT: You are. You tumble that way.
+
+LIAM: Get out of the city!
+
+MATT: All righty. Jester, your turn.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Are either of those two gnolls over
+there damaged?
+
+MATT: From what you can tell, nope.
+
+LAURA: Okay, well, I’m going to use my giant
+lollipop, and it’s going to swing and hit a couple
+
+times and try to hit one like a bat.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Okay, this is the one you licked.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Eight.
+
+SAM: (sad trombone)
+
+LAURA: Sam’s spit: not a good luck charm.
+
+MATT: As it swings in the air and spins, they both
+take one step back and it hits the dirt, and they
+
+both look at each other, and (chuckles).
+
+LAURA: Shit. I’m going to cast Cure Wounds on
+myself, and then I’m going to leap off the wall
+
+with great flourish and land next to Caleb. Okay,
+that’s a good idea. I’m going to land next to the
+
+guard. Then I’m going to skip away to the
+building.
+
+MATT: There you go. All righty. That ends Jester’s
+turn. Caleb, Nott, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I’m just going to do my same dog and
+pony show trick, I’m going to go to the corner, I
+
+should be able to see two or three gnolls, I
+think, over there, yeah?
+
+MATT: Yes, over here.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so (sizzling) starts to burn in my
+hand, Chromatic Orb out to hit whichever one–
+
+MATT: That one’s probably the easiest to see right
+now.
+
+LIAM: Then that’s the one I’m going to go for.
+Come on. Oh, that’s good. That’s a 17.
+
+MATT: That definitely hits.
+
+LIAM: Thanks, Keyleth.
+
+MARISHA: You’re welcome, boo.
+
+LIAM: That is 3d8, so where is my eight-sided die?
+There it is. This is fire, and it is 11 points of damage.
+
+MATT: As it bursts into it, you see the fur burn
+and singe and (whimpers) pats it out and the
+
+flames subside, you see it’s charred and burnt,
+and you see the flesh is cracked and blackened.
+
+It’s injured, but it’s standing.
+
+LIAM: Okay, and I inch back again and say,
+(singing) If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And
+
+hide behind the building.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Nott?
+
+SAM: There’s two gnolls in front of me that I can
+see, right?
+
+MATT: You can see those down there. The one just
+got blasted with the familiar fiery explosion of
+
+Caleb’s Chromatic Orb. The other is untouched.
+
+SAM: The other one, I will point at and I will
+remove a tiny rotten tart from my pocket and
+
+crumple it onto the floor and take a feather and
+move it around over the crumbs, and say: Hey, what
+
+happens to a frog’s wagon when it breaks down? It
+gets toad away! And I will cast Hideous Laughter
+
+on the gnoll.
+
+TRAVIS: Hideous indeed.
+
+MARISHA: No bad Halle Berry lines.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: What happens to a toad when
+it’s struck by lightning? The same thing that
+
+happens to everything else.
+
+MATT: Wisdom saving throw? That is a natural 11.
+What is your spell DC?
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. All right.
+
+TALIESIN: I like the theory that he doesn’t burst
+into laughter, he just holds the groan pain.
+
+LIAM: I would like to think that he does laugh
+hideously and despises himself for it.
+
+MATT: Did you shoot the one who was blasted with
+the fire or the one that was untouched?
+
+SAM: The untouched one.
+
+MATT: You watch as the one that was currently
+untouched that was drawing another arrow glances
+
+up and hears, and goes, (uncontrollable laughter)
+and falls to the ground. (manic laughter) Laughing
+
+this horrible hyena chuckle, and it’s billowing
+out into the street, clutching its stomach and
+
+dropping its weapons to the side and just rolling
+on the ground. Its friend next to it is like, huh?
+
+Looks up and sees you.
+
+SAM: Okay. All right, I’ll use my bonus action to
+hide.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Oh, I have to stealth. Oh, God damn. Okay,
+that’s 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends your turn. There are no more
+of the undead types, so they’re off the thing.
+
+Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I step out of the burning building,
+sauntering like a badass John Woo film.
+
+LIAM: Doves go everywhere.
+
+MATT: That’s five feet of movement.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, and looking at this one, I go: Hey,
+your friends have an inside joke without you.
+
+Pointing at the guy on the ground. As soon as he
+turns, I go whack like a baseball bat, right
+
+across his head.
+
+MATT: As soon as he glances over to the side, he
+looks back just as you’re already in his face.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s good.
+
+LIAM: Swing it high, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: 25! No, sorry, 24!
+
+MATT: 24, that’ll definitely hit. Roll damage.
+
+LIAM: Swing away.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take that, that’s a 13,
+sorry, ten, nope, 11! Math.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. Whack! You watch as
+about five or six gnoll teeth go flying from the
+
+impact, the jaw quivers as spittle and blood goes
+careening off the side of the impact. It falls and
+
+stumbles, if you want to follow it up.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to, using that momentum, do a
+helicopter flourish above and go crack down over top.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural 19!
+
+MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, wait, this is technically an
+off-handed.
+
+MATT: Right, so it’s a d4 for this one, but we’re
+using the staff for a flourish.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, that’s a four, so eight points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. Wham! As you bring
+it down over the top of the head, it falls and
+
+gets up, it’s dazed and beaten within an inch of
+its life, it’s ready to go. It’s barely standing
+
+at this point, one eye is lolling around and
+trying to find, and the other one is swollen shut
+
+now and can’t actually see anything. It’s in a bad
+place.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. I’ll hold.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends your turn, Beau. The guy on
+the ground is just laughing his ass off. At the
+
+end of its turn, it’s going to try and make a
+saving throw. No, that is a two. It is still
+
+laughing on the ground. This one, seeing the rest
+of its allies run, turns around and is just going
+
+to run.
+
+SAM: That’s the one you just hit?
+
+MARISHA: No. This here.
+
+SAM: How many are over there? Oh, I didn’t see
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: Two, and I’ve got one.
+
+MATT: This one, seeing another one flee, is going
+to attempt to try and flee after. You get an
+
+attack of opportunity.
+
+MARISHA: I have advantage on that?
+
+MATT: You do not.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. Oh, but that’s still good. 18.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Kill him!
+
+MARISHA: Is that with my regular attack?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Eight damage.
+
+MATT: You knock and crush him to the floor. As he
+tries to run, you whack and hit him, and you watch
+
+him take a few steps and skid and fall onto the
+ground, and he’s not moving. The one over here,
+
+who is not currently in the process of knowing
+that everyone else is fleeing, because he’s been
+
+stuck over here, is going to try to take a spear
+attack at you, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to snap at him. I’m going to
+use Blood Maledict.
+
+SAM: Hellish Snap.
+
+MATT: Which is good, because he rolled a natural
+20 on the first roll.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no he ain’t.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage, that brings him to a 15.
+
+TALIESIN: That is my armor class.
+
+MATT: So it just hits you.
+
+LAURA: But at least it’s not a critical attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope!
+
+LIAM: All his friends are running away, and he’s
+going, “Me and my friends are going to kill you.”
+
+MATT: Eight points of piercing damage. Its eyes go
+dark and it pulls back, and still it seems its
+
+sense of smell can still find your placement in
+the vicinity, and as you pull out of the way, it
+
+still manages to find you. The spear pierces right
+around where the hip is, and you pull back,
+
+gritting your teeth. That’s going to end its go.
+
+TRAVIS: My turn.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I hop around the corner again?
+
+SAM: (engine revving) Start up the full.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll go ahead and use my 30 speed to close in on
+the proned-out. Great, and I’ll use Eldritch Blast
+
+against that.
+
+MATT: All right, it has disadvantage against it
+because it’s prone.
+
+TRAVIS: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. As it’s rolling around on the ground,
+it’s difficult to find a proper shot, and you
+
+fire, and it hits the dirt next to it, sending a
+bit of dust over it. It stops laughing for a
+
+second as the dust– He laughs even harder at the
+actual dust.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s it. That’s my turn.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. All right. The guards
+go. The leader continues to run, and is now
+
+disappearing into the smoke and ash. You don’t
+have a visual on the cart at the moment, it’s now
+
+pressed into where a lot of the fire is, and it’s
+obscuring their escape. These guards are going to
+
+move forward as they load their crossbows, and
+they’re both– actually, because he’s on the
+
+ground laughing, you’re coming out on the roof,
+they’re going to turn and fire at the one that’s
+
+in front of Molly. It does have three-quarters
+cover because of the wall. They’re trying to help
+
+you out.
+
+TRAVIS: We need the assistance of guards, guys.
+
+MATT: Hits the wall and deflects.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s hard.
+
+MATT: That does hit! That is a 21, actually, so
+that does, even with the bonus to armor class from
+
+the three-quarters cover, it still hits.
+
+SAM: Those guards are killing more than we are.
+
+MATT: With that, as it’s there in front of you
+with its spear, after stabbing you, it pulls back
+
+and one crossbow bolt out of its forehead.
+Its jaw goes slack and falls to the ground, dead.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, come on.
+
+SAM: Don’t you want to ask that nameless guard how
+he wants to do this?
+
+MATT: Well, there’s still one left on the ground,
+which we’ll say for the purposes of narrative
+
+here, who wants to do this?
+
+TRAVIS: What, you really want to do something?
+
+SAM: Is it our turn soon? Caleb and me?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Well, when we come back around, it would be
+Molly’s turn, Jester, then Caleb and Nott. So
+
+whatever you guys want to do in this moment before
+it comes back, let me know.
+
+SAM: I would like to jump down from the wall and
+run as fast as I can after the leader and the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Really?
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Whoa!
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check.
+
+SAM: Oh, disadvantage. Jesus. 11.
+
+MATT: You jump off the side and you land, you do
+suffer four points of bludgeoning damage as you
+
+hit the ground and your feet buckle, and you
+actually slam and your face hits the dirt, but you
+
+use your momentum to scurry back up, and beginning
+to move forward, you get– and if you’re using the
+
+rest of your–
+
+SAM: Dash, everything.
+
+MATT: I need you to make a concentration check, by
+the way.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: Make a constitution saving throw, because
+you did take–
+
+SAM: This is a saving throw, that’s not
+disadvantage. 16.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so you maintain control over the
+Hideous Laughter. Okay. You rush into the cloud of
+
+ash after them, and you begin to see some of the
+shapes ahead of you of the gnolls there, pushing
+
+the cart. You’re still behind them by about 30 or
+so feet, and right as you rush forward, darting
+
+in, the heat from the embers entering your lungs
+burn, and you put your mask over to block and help
+
+filter a bit, with the cloth and bandages, and
+right as you rush forward, you see the back of
+
+the heavy armored leader, that’s bringing up the
+rear of where the cart is, and he turns and sees you.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+MATT: As soon as you finish your movement, it
+spins and looks in your vicinity, to see that
+
+you’re alone.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+MATT: Takes his glaive.
+
+SAM: Oh god!
+
+MATT: And closes the distance with a giant
+downward swing.
+
+SAM: Oh god!
+
+LAURA: What did you do?
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, is it his turn already?
+
+MATT: At this point? The narrative timing on
+this.
+
+TALIESIN: Because I was going to run that way too,
+I thought we were still–
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, who was allowed to run?
+
+MATT: Well, Nott’s after you.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. So I will–
+
+LAURA: But we didn’t get to go, because Nott just
+jumped it.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right, cool. All right, well let’s roll
+it back a little bit here and see how this helps
+
+you. All right, cool. So. No, it’s fine. So
+Jester, Molly, what are you guys doing?
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to run to see where the cart
+was going. Full dash.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you sprint off, with a full dash,
+you don’t quite get as close as Nott does.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I wouldn’t.
+
+MATT: Because Nott is much faster.
+
+TALIESIN: Is he triggering my spider sense at
+all?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s your spider sense?
+
+MATT: It’s not really a spider sense.
+
+TALIESIN: I know, but you know.
+
+SAM: But it’s a spider sense.
+
+LAURA: Basically.
+
+MATT: You’re about that far back, I would say.
+
+LAURA: I was going to have my duplicate go over
+and touch the guy laughing on the ground, and cast
+
+Inflict Wounds.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Dope.
+
+MATT: It’s a melee spell attack, correct? You have
+advantage on it because he’s currently
+
+incapacitated.
+
+LIAM: If he’s still around when she’s done, I
+would have done my same single–
+
+LAURA: Natural 20.
+
+LIAM: Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: That’ll be all the damage.
+
+MATT: Oh my god. So roll the dice.
+
+MARISHA: He’s going to turn into powder.
+
+LAURA: Five, six, 13, 26!
+
+MATT: As he’s laughing, your image walks up with a
+skip, bends down and touches him, and he suddenly
+
+withers into this completely dried-out husk of
+what the gnoll once was, the life force drawn and
+
+cast out of his body. He stops laughing, and the
+body falls like a mummy to the ground.
+
+SAM: Your duplicate can cast spells?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. That’s why it’s more fun if I can move
+her.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s why it’s like a bear.
+
+MATT: All right, finishing those turns, back to
+the top of the round.
+
+LIAM: No, I would have leaned out, if I had seen it
+was dead, and no enemies, I would use my
+
+movement, my action to move further up to the
+corner, not much besides that, but join where
+
+Fjord and the duplicate are. That’s it.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Your friend took off running.
+
+LIAM: Nott?
+
+LAURA: That’s all happening right now.
+
+LIAM: This is simultaneous.
+
+MATT: Beau, your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Hearing you say that, I’m going to be like,
+I guess we’re– race you! I’m going to take off
+
+running after Nott.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: 40 feet speed.
+
+MATT: You manage to catch up right around
+basically where Molly is there. Do you have a ki
+
+point left?
+
+MARISHA: I do.
+
+MATT: If you wanted to use your–
+
+MARISHA: That would just get me– I’ll save it for
+right now. But I can see Nott, and I can see the
+
+guy, and I can see the cart.
+
+MATT: There’s cloud and ash, embers pushing into
+the atmosphere now, the nearby building are
+
+actually in flames and engulfed on the side here.
+
+MARISHA: That was a double move?
+
+MATT: That was a double movement to get to there.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: As you and Molly are 15, 20 feet from each
+other, and ahead you can see the shape of Nott, and
+
+you can see the leader of them. You can now see
+from nearby buildings that about ten other gnolls
+
+are all gathering around the cart and they’re all
+leaving. They’re all carrying giant sacks on their back,
+
+dragging bodies and corpses behind them.
+
+MARISHA: Ten?
+
+MATT: Yeah. This wasn’t the only gnolls that
+attacked the city.
+
+TALIESIN: This was just our little patch. Our
+gnoll patch.
+
+MATT: Finishing Beau’s turn, it comes back to
+Fjord. The rest of the gnolls continue pushing the
+
+cart. A few join them, giving it momentum.
+About six more of them begin stepping up,
+
+flanking the leader, who’s now staring at the
+three of you.
+
+TALIESIN: Now’s not the time!
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll run forward using my 30 feet but
+I will call out: Nott, get back here!
+
+SAM: What? Don’t blow my cover.
+
+TRAVIS: Let them go!
+
+SAM: Okay. What?
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. The leader sees the
+three of you there, puts the glaive away with one
+
+hand, turns around as he draws his longbow and
+fires an arrow right at you. That is a 17 to hit?
+
+SAM: Hits.
+
+MATT: That is eight points of piercing damage.
+
+MARISHA: Are you down?
+
+TALIESIN: He is so down.
+
+MATT: The arrow strikes Nott in the chest, who
+falls unconscious onto the ground, the ash and
+
+embers starting to spill over her unconscious
+body. With that– because I believe– yeah, it can
+
+make two attacks with its longbow. He’s going to
+make a second strike now. This one’s going to be
+
+at– I’m going to make it– He can’t decide at the
+moment. This’ll be a four, Molly. That is a
+
+natural 20.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: That is 18 plus three. 21 points of
+piercing damage.
+
+TALIESIN: You got to be fucking kidding me,
+really?
+
+MATT: He rolled a nine on a d10. And it’s a crit.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I’m down.
+
+MATT: Molly goes down.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: With his movement, he puts the bow back away
+and keeps walking with the rest of the gnolls.
+
+MARISHA: I grab Fjord and I say, just wait. Wait.
+Let them go.
+
+MATT: You watch as all of them turn around and
+they all begin to gather. You hear this cacophony
+
+of different gibbering cries in the distance as
+they’re all starting to call themselves back to
+
+leave the city. They all step into the clouds of
+smoke and ash in the distance before eventually
+
+all the shapes disappear.
+
+MARISHA: I want to watch them as far as I can to
+try and pinpoint a direction that they’re heading in.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a survival check in this moment.
+
+LIAM: It’s dark, too.
+
+MATT: It is dark.
+
+MARISHA: Not great, 11.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s hard to tell with all the smoke,
+you can’t see the moon, you can’t see the
+
+placement of the sky, but you make a note of which
+direction they’re traveling based on the street.
+
+Those who are both on the ground as Beau continues
+doing this, you guys begin to rush up and you see
+
+both Molly and Nott on the ground.
+
+LAURA: I run up and I’ll cast Cure Wounds on
+Molly. Then I’m going to run over and do the same
+
+thing at level two to Nott. That’s six points of
+healing for you, I’m sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: I’ll run up and cast it on Nott. Oh no, Nott!
+I pull her up into my lap. Oh, that’s good. 13–
+
+oh, 13 plus five! No, plus three.
+
+MATT: That immediate first breath is filled with
+pain, both from the wounds you’ve sustained and
+
+the immediate influx of burning ash that sweeps
+into your lungs. Both of you come to consciousness.
+
+SAM: (gasping) Oh my gods!
+
+TALIESIN: What were you thinking?
+
+SAM: I was just going to follow them from afar. I
+forgot they had bows and arrows.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s literally the only thing that’s
+been happening.
+
+SAM: I thought they wouldn’t see me because of the
+smoke. Oh boy.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to put out these fires. Oh,
+I’m not getting up.
+
+MARISHA: Ah shit, the town, you guys! And I’m going to
+go back and start trying to put out the fires.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to crawl back towards the–
+
+MATT: As you guys begin to regather your troops,
+more of the crownsguard that you see have been
+
+battling and have been partially wounded by a lot
+of the other gnolls are beginning to gather their
+
+dead, beginning to try and put out what fires they
+can and acknowledge which buildings can’t be
+
+saved. As you begin to take what remains of your energy to
+do so, we’re going to go ahead and take a break.
+
+We’re going to take a break here, and we’ll have a
+little denouement to this episode tonight. But
+
+before I leave, we have another contest tonight.
+Our friends at Wyrmwood actually have a pretty
+
+cool giveaway tonight. As part of their new
+Kickstarter, they have this all-inclusive package
+
+here, which is both a dice box, with a leather
+base, and on the inside here an all-inclusive
+
+package for your dice.
+
+SAM: We don’t have those.
+
+MATT: No, they just started producing them. These
+are walnut Adventurer’s Arsenal kits, and we’re
+
+giving away two of them. The keyword tonight is
+map, M-A-P, based off last week’s episode, thank
+
+you Deven. During the break in Twitch chat only,
+come in there and when you’re prompted go ahead
+
+and enter the keyword, map, into the chat only
+once. More than once and you will be disqualified.
+
+Two of you will be chosen during the break, and
+we’ll come back to see who wins that. See you guys here
+
+in a few minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everybody. That was on the
+air, well done. The winner of the Adventure
+
+Arsenals are, we have two of them, TheBravestKoala
+and GrandmasterBlaq. Congratulations to both of
+
+you guys for the win, go ahead and Danoba will
+reach out to you and get your contact info and
+
+we’ll get those to you. For those of you who are
+curious to look at it, this particular
+
+Kickstarter you can find on wyrmwoodgaming.com
+to look and see the cool thing this new release is
+
+going to entail, so thank you very much, Wyrmwood.
+All right, with some of the flames dying down, 30
+
+minutes or so of the chaos descending, the
+Crownsguard begin to come back, those that are
+
+still living, many of them wounded and tending to
+their wounds, or helping the survivors that are
+
+still within the town. You see some families are
+starting to unblock their entranceways and the
+
+people who had escaped the city are slowly
+beginning to filter in. You can hear the sobbing
+
+in the distance of families that are coming back to
+homes that have been destroyed. The smoke still
+
+chokes the air, and at this hour now it’s probably
+pushing close to 11:00 or later. But as the guards
+
+come through and begin to take in the essence of what’s
+happening, the armored individual that helped you
+
+when you first arrived and gave you the command to
+aid in this approaches. You see their half-elven
+
+face, solemn and tense, approach and extend a
+hand. “There aren’t many who would immediately
+
+"jump into the fray as you did. I would say that we
+would have lost many more, and perhaps all of my
+
+"men had you not been there, so thank you.”
+
+LAURA: Of course, I say as I cut off the ears of
+some of the gnolls.
+
+LIAM: You beat me to it. You said 30 minutes went
+by, I wanted us to be doing that already.
+
+MARISHA: We’re like: Oh no, put out this fire!
+
+LAURA: These people have lost everything!
+
+LIAM: I was just waiting for you to pause.
+
+MATT: Yeah, no worries. Unfortunately, for the
+three skeletal ones you only manage to get one
+
+full ear.
+
+LIAM: That’s fine.
+
+LAURA: That’s okay because we got two ears
+off of all the other ones.
+
+MATT: You did. We’ll say for that, for those who
+would’ve been destroyed or damaged, let me go
+
+ahead and roll and see how many ears you’re able to
+pull off of those bodies.
+
+LAURA: I’m also going pull off a chunk of tail and
+see if it will pass.
+
+LIAM: I’d like to think that we leaned down to the
+same gnoll, cutting, and went, same hat? Same hat.
+
+MATT: You manage to pull up about 12 ears intact
+between all the fallen bodies. Some you killed,
+
+some maybe you didn’t. You came across the body
+elsewhere in the square and just took the ear.
+
+MARISHA: I totally remember kicking this guy’s
+ass.
+
+MATT: Other guards are collecting them as they go
+and there are a couple moments where someone was
+
+going for an orc– or a gnoll that you had killed
+and you went to the guard and went, nuh-uh, and
+
+they backed off. But anyway, the soldier head that was
+speaking with you extends a hand and they say, “I
+
+"am Watchmaster Bryce Feelid, assigned here to
+Alfield, now in my fourth year. Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Watchmaster?
+
+MATT: “Watchmaster Bryce Feelid.”
+
+TRAVIS: What were those creatures? Have you
+encountered them before?
+
+MATT: “We’ve encountered them before, yes, in
+smaller hunting packs, maybe a half-dozen at a
+
+"time, usually on the outskirts. They don’t come to
+civilization like this. It’s generally too
+
+"dangerous for them, in the smaller numbers they
+travel. What the fuck are they after?”
+
+TRAVIS: Such a grizzly scene, they seemed to be
+carrying away bodies on that cart they had.
+
+TALIESIN: That was weird.
+
+LAURA: Did you notice they had some undead
+gnolls with them?
+
+TRAVIS: I did.
+
+TALIESIN: There were.
+
+LAURA: Have you ever seen anything like that?
+
+MATT: “I’ve maybe crossed one or two as part of
+the roving packs, it’s not terribly uncommon.”
+
+TALIESIN: What turns them like that? Is there
+something in the water?
+
+MATT: “I have no idea. I don’t know the ins and
+outs of their creepy bestial lifestyle. I mean,
+
+"what–” And you watch as they sit down for a
+second, leaning against the wall, thinking and
+
+scratching at their chin, “Word came of a small
+hunting party of these beasts spotted to the
+
+"south, so we sent a small troupe to slay them naught
+but two hours before they struck here. We had sent
+
+"more than half of our men’s strength to go and
+deal with them, so we were unprepared and, at the
+
+"time, unguarded for the most part. We were caught
+at half strength. It can’t be a coincidence. They
+
+"must be desperate to assault head-on
+like this. There’s plenty of small game in the
+
+"surrounding wood and they’re known to be provoked
+to violence, but I’ve only heard of gnolls picking
+
+"off the outlying folk, those that wander too far
+from the fields.”
+
+LAURA: Do they eat the bodies?
+
+MATT: “They eat what flesh they can get a hold of,
+but we went through a number of the buildings and
+
+"they’ve ransacked two of the inns. They completely
+took the entire butcher’s stock. They’ve carved
+
+"the city of whatever meats, fresh or dried, we
+had.”
+
+TALIESIN: Word came? Word came that they were in
+the south? Where did word come from?
+
+MATT: “Word came from some of our crownsguard who
+were running a patrol.”
+
+LIAM: We have seen these things as far south as
+Trostenwald. Further even.
+
+MARISHA: Has there been something else going on,
+that you can think of, that might have cut off
+
+their food supply?
+
+MATT: “Not that I can think of. For the most part,
+this far south, other than a few run-ins here and
+
+"there, they aren’t– conflicts of this size don’t
+make it past Bladegarden.”
+
+MARISHA: Bladegarden?
+
+MATT: “It’s where most of them– It’s where most
+of the Empire’s military and guard are trained and
+
+"then sent out throughout the rest of the valley.
+That’s a lot of meat that they’ve acquired from
+
+"us, and they’ve lost many, I thought, of their kin in
+this battle as well.”
+
+LAURA: Too much meat. What are they feeding?
+
+MATT: “Or what’s making them so hungry?”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Or that.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. My concern is that they’ll return.
+We’ve fended them off for now, but they’ll come back.
+
+MARISHA: Especially if they’re as desperate as you
+say they are.
+
+MATT: “I’ve sent three of our scouts to try and
+find out where they went, track wherever they’re
+
+"taking their spoils. Reports come in that most of
+the bodies they took were dead, perhaps not all.
+
+"We have to do our best to at least recover any
+survivors, wipe out what remains, and prevent this
+
+"from ever happening again.”
+
+MARISHA: Have you heard local farmers complaining
+about them stealing livestock? Missing livestock?
+
+MATT: “I’m going to look into that, actually. I’m
+sorry, I’m still gathering my thoughts.”
+
+LAURA: (gasps) W.C! I get up and I run and see if
+our horse is still there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, W.C.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you charge out to the far city and
+you do find W.C., still affixed to the cart,
+
+currently chewing on a small bag of oats where one
+of the families of villagers who fled have come
+
+back and begun to feed him.
+
+LAURA: Thanks, man! Thumbs up to the family, I’ll
+run back to the group.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you going to run back to the group, or
+bring W.C. with?
+
+LAURA: No, I’m going to leave it out there.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, cool, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Petting zoo.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, they’re petting him.
+
+MATT: To the rest of you, Bryce says, “Well, as
+rash as it was said– and our coffers are not as
+
+"strong as they could be, I will request more of a
+monetary influx up north– for the ears you have
+
+"taken you will be paid. Any more that you find,
+those will be paid as well.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, and we’re going to need some
+lodging anyway, so perhaps some trade could be
+
+worked out.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed, we could provide some extra
+muscle, perhaps for some lodging while we stay and
+
+maybe we could aid your men and their efforts to
+exterminate this foe.
+
+MATT: “Well, I would normally put you up in the
+Candleglow Inn but–” They gesture over towards the
+
+large building that you had walked through that’s
+now currently–
+
+TALIESIN: It’s literally glowing like a candle
+right now.
+
+MATT: “That is ironic now that you point it out.”
+
+TALIESIN: I feel really bad for saying that out
+loud.
+
+MATT: “Let’s just not let Thadeus know that his
+life is–”
+
+LIAM: I have a question. After listening to this
+for a while, I start looking around the town, would
+
+you say that with all these burnt buildings
+everywhere, that if I start picking through the
+
+rubble I would find enough charcoal to reduce
+the costs I would need for Find Familiar,
+
+eventually? Because I still need the incense and
+the herbs, but if I get a lot of charcoal from these
+
+burnt homes–
+
+MATT: I will say if you take 30 minutes to find
+good pieces of charcoal, and roll an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, done and done. That’s good, and I have
+a good investigation too. That is a 23.
+
+MATT: All right, you manage to reduce the cost of
+you next Find Familiar spell by three gold pieces.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, good, that’s good.
+
+MATT: From the hopes and dreams of Alfield. So
+Bryce looks at you. “I can have you put up at the
+
+"Feed and Mead tavern.”
+
+SAM: Feed and Mead?
+
+MATT: “Feed and Mead tavern. It’s not the most
+comfortable place, but it’ll do.”
+
+MARISHA: It’s a good name.
+
+MATT: “I did not name it, but pass it on to Crute,
+the owner.”
+
+TRAVIS: Crute?
+
+MATT: “Tell him that Bryce sent you and you are
+being put up by the Crown for as long as you are
+
+"hunting these creatures.”
+
+TRAVIS: We appreciate that. Hopefully, there won’t
+be another call to action while they’re here, but
+
+you can count on us if there is.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Well.” They reach into a pouch
+and begin to count out the gold for the number of
+
+ears you’ve collected. With twelve ears–
+
+LAURA: 360 gold.
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: Dope.
+
+MATT: After bringing the ears forward, they glance
+over. “Actually, I’ll be right back. I may need to
+
+"acquire a bit more change.” And after a brief
+wait, Bryce returns and you are paid the full amount.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn.
+
+MATT: So 360 gold at your disposal.
+
+SAM: Should we divvy it up equally?
+
+LAURA: If we do, that’s 60 gold apiece. That’s
+Laura talking.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I’m fine with that.
+
+MATT: Bryce says, “We hope to hear back in the
+morning of our scouts’ findings. If you wish to,
+
+"if you can hunt whatever remains of these
+creatures and bring back proof that they’ve been
+
+"wiped out, I’ll see what I can have sent southward
+of Zadash to make it worth your while.”
+
+MARISHA: In the meantime, you wouldn’t have
+anything that might help us and our little
+
+expedition, would you? Healing potion might be
+nice if you got one hiding away somewhere in a
+
+closet, forgotten.
+
+MATT: “I don’t mean to be brusque, but at the
+moment I think we have a number of our guard who
+
+"are in more desperate need.”
+
+MARISHA: Fair.
+
+LAURA: I can help them… in the morning.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “I’m sure that would be appreciated. For the
+moment, you all look about as battered as I feel. Rest
+
+"up, come–” Let’s see, they would be at– “Meet me
+outside of the Broad Barn.”
+
+SAM: The “Rod Bawn”?
+
+MATT: “The Broad Barn.”
+
+LAURA: The broad?
+
+MATT: Barn. Broad Barn.
+
+They point it out to you, it’s on the
+western side of the town. “There, we’ll make sure
+
+"you get the basic supplies necessary. Hopefully,
+we’ll have information on where to go, and if you
+
+"so choose, we could conscribe you to be under our
+intent to destroy these creatures. Think on it,
+
+"rest, we’ll speak in the morning.” Bryce turns
+around and limps off with a few of the other
+
+crownsguard. As you guys eventually find your way
+to the Feed and Mead, you are immediately met by
+
+Crute, who is this ornery, salty-looking dwarf of
+tousled white-gray hair, this single tuft of a
+
+beard that dangles down towards the belly button
+before it hits a ring of gold, goes, “Oh, so I’ve
+
+"been told you’re the ones who were coming to
+sleep. Got one of our two rooms for you.”
+
+SAM: One?
+
+MATT: He never quite makes eye contact with you.
+He’s looking at your shoulder, or right above your face.
+
+SAM: I think he’s got two glass eyes.
+
+MATT: “Come, I’ll show you.” Turns around and
+leads you to your space. There are four beds
+
+jammed in here. It’s like a youth hostel-type
+living situation here, but it’s functional.
+
+LAURA: Are they doubles? Fulls? Queens? Twins?
+
+MATT: They are pretty much as twin bed as you can
+get.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: I’m fine with the floor.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m great with a bed.
+
+LIAM: I’ve already got the silver thread out and I
+am looping it over any open window and by the door.
+
+TALIESIN: Was there beer downstairs? Was there
+ale?
+
+MATT: You can go ask.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to drop my things and run
+downstairs.
+
+MATT: Okay. You come downstairs and there’s nobody
+inside, this is not a tavern night for a lot of
+
+people. “Right, can I help you?”
+
+TALIESIN: Is there drink? Is there smoke?
+
+MATT: “Smoke we don’t have. But drink, that I can
+give you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take something interesting.
+
+MATT: “Interesting, you say. Heh.” Takes out a
+bottle, looks like a deep green glass, and uncorks
+
+it. Takes a small shot glass that has a bulbous
+bottom, pours it to the very top with this liquid
+
+that looks a deep sea-teal green, and slides
+it forward.
+
+TALIESIN: Fast or slow?
+
+MATT: “Well, depends on how much you like to
+dream.”
+
+TALIESIN: How much?
+
+MATT: “For that, and for what I heard you did,
+it’s on the house.”
+
+TALIESIN: Nonsense.
+
+MATT: “For the night. You want more, you’re paying
+top-shelf price.”
+
+TALIESIN: What’s top-shelf price?
+
+MATT: “For that drink there, that would run you
+about three silver.”
+
+TALIESIN: I put a gold on the table.
+
+MATT: “Not going to complain.”
+
+TALIESIN: Consider it an advance, it’s been a
+rough night for everybody.“
+
+MATT: "Right, right, of course.”
+
+TALIESIN: And I’m going to sip this mother.
+
+MATT: It has a very smoky, oak-barrel flavor to it
+at first as it hits your tongue and then it burns
+
+into this very medicinal, herbal, almost anise
+mixed with burnt charcoal.
+
+TALIESIN: That sounds nice. I’m going to sit, and
+sip this, and grin, and very silently have a mild
+
+nervous breakdown about what just went down.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you all slowly come to rest,
+exhausted, sore, beaten, trying to fall asleep to
+
+the distant muffled sound of shouts and wailing in
+the streets–
+
+LAURA and MATT: And Jester jumping on the bed.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester!
+
+MATT: You find yourself to rest, preparing for
+what the morning may hold, and that’s where we’re
+
+going to pick up for next week’s session.
+
+LAURA: Worst roommate ever.
+
+LIAM: You’re not the only one. Caleb is going: one
+gold, two gold, three gold, 60 gold.
+
+LAURA: 60 gold, Caleb!
+
+LIAM: This was a good idea.
+
+TALIESIN: This is working out weirdly, I’m
+excited.
+
+MARISHA: We all have an extra 60 gold, yeah?
+
+LAURA: For all the work that Beau did.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: That was some Jackie Chan shit. You were in
+the doorway, dodging everything.
+
+TALIESIN: We now need to have a Stephen Chow
+night, that was some crazy shit.
+
+LIAM: We are hitching out stars to your wagon.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: She just shot some Sun Chip out of her
+mouth. You’re welcome, internet!
+
+MATT: Gif that.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, there it is, I found it.
+
+SAM and LAURA: (groan)
+
+MATT: Waste not, want not. That’s my wife, ladies
+and gentlemen. Thank you guys so much. Thank you
+
+guys for watching. Thank you, D&D Beyond, I’m
+learning more and more about the app and I’m
+
+enjoying it, thank you for supporting the show.
+Thank you all for joining us tonight, we’ll see
+
+you next week, and is it Thursday yet?
+
+LIAM: Nein!
+
+MATT: Good night, everybody.
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we do!
+
+MATT: Apparently, someone’s got mail on Drag
+Race!
+
+LIAM: That was like standing at the dock going,
+“Three, two, one, jump!” and Travis was the only
+
+one who jumped in.
+
+MATT: Yeah, well done, though. Welcome guys! Before
+we jump into tonight’s episode, we have some
+
+announcements to get through. First and foremost,
+returning once again this week, our fantastic
+
+partners and sponsor for the beginning of this
+campaign, D&D Beyond! An awesome Dungeons &
+
+Dragons tool for use for your campaigns, whether
+you be DM or player, and Sam, do you have anything
+
+to say about that?
+
+SAM: Hi! Hey, our partner this week is D&D Beyond,
+that’s www.dndbeyond.com. They’d like to invite
+
+Critters to check out “And Beyond,” the monthly
+developer update and Q&A session for D&D Beyond.
+
+D&D Beyond product director Adam Bradford will
+share the latest thing the team is working on and
+
+answer questions from the community. The next
+stream will take place tomorrow, the 16th of
+
+February, at 11:00pm– nope– 11:00am Pacific.
+Check it out at twitch.tv/dndbeyond and to
+
+celebrate, I’m giving out a prize tonight. It’s
+another contest, all of you can play, and here’s
+
+the rules: using D&D Beyond, you have to create a
+character, right now, a level three character, any
+
+character, go!
+
+MARISHA: On our app?
+
+LAURA: What?! That’s going to take so long!
+
+SAM: (intense timer countdown song)
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, it’s refreshing! You should’ve
+given us warning!
+
+SAM: (singing) D&D&D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond! D&D!
+
+LAURA: I did it!
+
+TALIESIN: Aw, damn it!
+
+SAM: What? I don’t see it. It’s there. She did
+it.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: I did it!
+
+LIAM: Sphincter, Sphincter, Sphincter!
+
+SAM: Oh, you know what? I don’t know how to call
+it!
+
+LAURA: I have 138 hit points?
+
+SAM: Wow! Wait, at a level three character? No,
+she’s level 15!
+
+TALIESIN: Callous, 25 hit points! Already done,
+right there!
+
+SAM: All right, Taliesin wins. See how easy it is
+to create a character with D&D Beyond?
+
+TALIESIN: A level three blood hunter earth
+elemental.
+
+SAM: I’ll give you a hint: your prize is attached
+to my mug.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, no.
+
+Wait, wait, wait! No, leave it! Put it
+back, I want to do this properly.
+
+SAM: What’re you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: Lift, lift, lift.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Did you just–
+
+TRAVIS: You hit Randomize Your Character.
+
+SAM: Do you see how easy it is? We all created a
+character in, like, 25 seconds!
+
+LAURA: This random character that I just created
+is really fucking cool.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m actually really impressed with this
+fucking character.
+
+LIAM: Aw, I don’t want to have Sphincter next to
+Caleb now!
+
+SAM: Wait, you really named it “Sphincter?”
+
+LIAM: Yes. That’s the name I gave them! That’s as
+far as I got! Delete. Oh, there goes Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: What is your name? Panalanalam– Pana–
+
+MARISHA: Panlanann.
+
+TRAVIS: There are four “N’s” in that name.
+
+MARISHA: I am Panlanann, the wood half-elf blood
+hunter!
+
+SAM: What was yours, Taliesin?
+
+TALIESIN: Callous.
+
+SAM: Callous? What was yours, Laura?
+
+LAURA: I was Alight, a level 15 fire genasi.
+
+SAM: Her name was Alight?
+
+LAURA: Alight.
+
+TRAVIS: I am Eomita Deephollow, lightfoot halfling
+fighter.
+
+MARISHA: Dude, my abilities are balls, though. I
+have a five dex and a four wisdom. That’s sad.
+
+MATT: We’re using those characters for the next
+campaign.
+
+TRAVIS: No, no, no! No!
+
+MARISHA: Wait, you got dope stats!
+
+TRAVIS: Because I’m awesome.
+
+MARISHA: Look how fucking crap these are!
+
+TRAVIS: You’re in big trouble.
+
+MATT: Thank you very much, Sam, congratulations
+Taliesin, and thank you D&D Beyond for being our
+
+sponsor. Quick reminder to those of you who have
+an Amazon Prime account, you can get a free
+
+subscription to the Twitch channel by going
+through your actual– yeah, you do it through
+
+Twitch! You link your Amazon Prime account to your
+Twitch name and you are able to subscribe to one
+
+channel for free a month. If you have not
+subscribed and you want to have the VODs available
+
+to you before they go up on Youtube, that’s the
+way to do it, for no additional charge. Check it
+
+out. Talks Machina–
+
+LAURA: Sam, stop touching my shit. Look at that!
+He rolled ones, ones, and ones!
+
+LIAM: Kids!
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry. Sorry, Matthew.
+
+MATT: It’s okay. We haven’t started yet, so
+technically it’s a buffer. Talks Machina, next
+
+Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific. We’ll be here on Twitch
+and Project Alpha where our host, Brian W. Foster,
+
+will discuss what happens and transpires in this
+episode tonight, so check it out next week on
+
+Tuesday. The podcast of last week’s episode is
+available for download, so those of you who missed
+
+last episode or want to listen to it on your drive
+or commute, or you just like the audio to create
+
+your imagination-scape, last week’s episode is
+available to download now wherever finest podcasts
+
+are located to be downloaded. Any other major
+announcements from you guys?
+
+LIAM: A little thing that is totally improvised. A
+couple of weeks ago, a Critter named Courtney–
+
+forgive me if I’m getting that wrong– She tweeted
+a picture of her with this scarf that she was
+
+making for Caleb, and she made the hashtag
+#ScarvesForCaleb and then people started talking
+
+about it. I retweeted because I thought it was
+awesome, and they came up with the idea to make
+
+scarves for Caleb– But not for me– to give to
+shelters: Homeless shelters, to veterans, to
+
+anyone who needs scarves or hats or mittens. I
+think it’s a great idea, and you would make me
+
+happy. This is beautiful, I love it, thank you,
+but don’t pile me up in scarves. Send them to
+
+people who need them. I just think it would be a
+nice thing to do.
+
+MATT: That’s awesome guys, I love it. Once again,
+826LA, our fantastic charity we’ve been supporting
+
+since the very beginning of this show, almost three
+years ago now. They do fantastic work. If you
+
+have the opportunity to give your time to it, or
+want to help donate, or at least look up and see
+
+what they do, I recommend you do it, they are
+fantastic, so thank you guys. Unless anybody else
+
+has anything else to interject, I believe it’s
+time for us to jump in to tonight’s episode of
+
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. You guys are getting sloppy.
+Welcome back. Last we left off, our gathering of
+
+friends have been traversing northward along the
+Amber Road, with the distant destination of
+
+Zadash, one of the larger cities of the Dwendalian
+Empire, as your destination. Upon traveling, you
+
+passed a caravan, spent an evening amongst trees,
+where you found a wayward cluster of wandering
+
+buffalo…-like creatures. You continued northward
+for a second day, rushed on past sunset to rest in
+
+the city of Alfield, a small farming town that’s
+along the way to Zadash. However, upon noticing
+
+that some of the buildings in the eastern side of
+town began to light up with flame, you began to
+
+approach rather rapidly, seeing members of the
+city, citizens fleeing and screaming, and there
+
+seemed to be some sort of attack. Upon going into
+the town, you realized that a number of these
+
+buildings are being set fire by an incursion of
+gnolls. You were immediately brought in by
+
+Watchmaster Bryce, who offered to pay you for each
+set of gnoll ears that were brought to them, and
+
+you jumped into the fray, managed to kill quite a
+few, many of them still left with their quarry, it
+
+seems, which happened to be quite a number of
+bodies and/or citizens still living, that were
+
+dragged off into the ashen and cloud-covered
+night. Upon returning, many of you bruised,
+
+beaten, and at one point in danger of worse, you
+were given an evening’s rest at the Feed and Mead
+
+Tavern, and were told, if you were interested in
+pursuing future coin in helping with the current
+
+conflict nearing the city, to meet Bryce out by
+the Broad Barn.
+
+ALL: The Broad Barn.
+
+LAURA: That’s why I wrote Broad Barn down.
+
+MATT: That is why.
+
+LIAM: I wrote “Rod Barn.”
+
+MATT: That’s a different place entirely. You guys
+all bundled up into a singular room above the
+
+floor of the Feed and Mead. Found yourselves
+exhausted, passed out, and got an evening’s rest,
+
+so you’ve all gotten a long rest. You’ve healed
+up. You’ve recovered your abilities. As the
+
+uncomfortable warmth of the morning kicks in, with
+your small room and number of warm bodies
+
+encompassing a very tight and not very drafty
+space, the partially humid early hours draw you
+
+from consciousness. You all begin to stretch your
+sore muscles and decide what endeavors await you
+
+with the new day. What do you guys want to do?
+
+LAURA: What do you guys want to do today?
+
+TRAVIS: That bed was not my favorite.
+
+LAURA: I liked it.
+
+TRAVIS: Little stiff.
+
+MARISHA: You should try sleeping on the floor.
+It’s actually really good support.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s good for your back, it’s really
+true.
+
+TRAVIS: You use a pillow, or are you just on the
+floor?
+
+TALIESIN: Pillow.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Do you have to pray over your swords or
+anything this morning?
+
+TALIESIN: No, everything’s fine. They just do what
+they need to do. I just have to keep them clean.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, well, we were sharing a room one
+night, and Molly has a ritual. I think it’s part
+
+of his custom. Yeah, he performs over his swords.
+
+TALIESIN: I have to take care of them or else
+they’ll stop working, of course.
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Do they need to feed?
+
+TALIESIN: They do actually, yeah. I’ve got to feed
+them some, well– it’s complicated. I don’t like
+
+to go too deep into it, but I’ve got to use my
+bloodline on occasion. Actually, since we’re
+
+already on the road, I should be honest, I wasn’t
+entirely telling the truth when I talked to you
+
+that night.
+
+TRAVIS: No! Stop it!
+
+SAM: You seem so honest.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you’re just a bundle of truth too,
+aren’t you?
+
+LIAM: What is a bloodline?
+
+TALIESIN: I suppose it’s only fair. I did tell you
+that these swords are special, and that they use
+
+the blood of my family to activate themselves. I
+know I might have said I was from a long line of
+
+priests, and–
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, you killed your whole family.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t kill my whole family.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, okay. Never mind, keep going. I’m
+sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: Our family were less the priests, and
+more the sacrifices. We may have stolen the swords
+
+and run. That’s why I’ve been trying to keep a bit
+of a low profile when it comes to some of the authorities.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I mean, for fear of your life you
+ran?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s been a long time, but I’d rather
+not run into them.
+
+LAURA: What gods were you being sacrificed to?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I couldn’t tell you. It was my
+parents, I was just wee by the time that happened.
+
+SAM: Is there a roving band of priests that are
+trying to find you right now?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I hope not. I mean, it’s been a long
+time.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s home? Where is this place that
+you stole–
+
+TALIESIN: My parents never spoke of it. Somewhere
+out east.
+
+LIAM: You got to the circus from that, how?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, it was a bit of a mess, but I just
+ended up there eventually. Just looking for a
+
+place where I could rest, I suppose?
+
+LIAM: That’s funny, you gave me an answer, but you
+didn’t really give me an answer.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I don’t know you that well.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what he’s been doing this whole
+time.
+
+TALIESIN: That requires a drink.
+
+TRAVIS: I understand that sentiment. Trying to
+find a little respite, a little peace.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a good place to be if you want to
+run, but not run.
+
+SAM: Are there any others of your family out there
+on the run?
+
+TALIESIN: Not that I’ve ever met.
+
+LAURA: Was it just your parents and you that were
+being sacrificed?
+
+TALIESIN: You know, I don’t know. I never thought
+to ask.
+
+LAURA: Did they want to kill you or just take your
+blood?
+
+TALIESIN: Apparently they needed us alive for it,
+so there was that.
+
+LAURA: Oh! So it wasn’t so bad, they just slowly
+drained you.
+
+SAM: Doesn’t sound that bad. Yeah, they’re not
+going to kill you.
+
+TALIESIN: So I was told.
+
+MARISHA: Isn’t that what you’re doing to yourself
+on a daily basis?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not that bad, though, it doesn’t
+leave a mark really.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re in control of it. You’re using it
+for yourself?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes, of course. It can come in handy.
+
+LAURA: Does it have to be your blood?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes. Of our bloodline, apparently.
+
+MARISHA: Have you tried any other bloodlines?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I’ve cut a lot of people with them.
+Would you like to take a run at it? You could be lucky.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll save that for another day.
+
+TALIESIN: I had a funny feeling.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m tempted.
+
+SAM: What about you, Fjord? Are you going to vomit
+any seawater this morning?
+
+TRAVIS: (retching)
+
+SAM: Oh, watch out!
+
+TRAVIS: Nah.
+
+TALIESIN: Could’ve been worth five copper on the
+open road at one point.
+
+TRAVIS: I seem to have missed my calling.
+
+TALIESIN: Always could use a circus geek.
+
+MARISHA: How’d you sleep, aside from the crappy
+bed?
+
+TRAVIS: I know what you’re asking. I didn’t have
+any other dreams. It was fairly restful.
+
+LAURA: No dreams at all?
+
+TRAVIS: None I care to speak of.
+
+LIAM: Do we think there’s anything left of this
+town?
+
+TALIESIN: That is a question.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything left?
+
+SAM: It didn’t seem like the whole thing was on
+fire.
+
+TRAVIS: We couldn’t quite see it at night, that’s
+true. Maybe we should go down.
+
+LIAM: I would like to take a walk and see what it
+is we’re out to save.
+
+LAURA: We can steal some things!
+
+LIAM: Maybe we do that second, and first we take a
+walk.
+
+TALIESIN: How do we get paid? There was talk of
+pay.
+
+LAURA: I thought we already got paid.
+
+LIAM: We did, but Molly was drinking, so maybe he
+does not remember.
+
+TRAVIS: He said he was going to bring the rest, I
+think, later.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got to say, there’s worse ways to
+make a living.
+
+LIAM: I counted 60 gold.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Molly, didn’t you say Bryce said it
+would come later?
+
+MATT: Bryce had said if you wanted to continue to
+help with this then there was more money.
+
+LAURA: Let’s keep helping!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, it’s not a bad gig.
+
+LAURA: We could stay here forever and just kill
+gnolls.
+
+SAM: That was very scary. One of them almost
+killed me!
+
+LAURA: But think about how good we would get over
+time.
+
+SAM: That’s true. The 10,000-hour rule?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm!
+
+TALIESIN: Nott the gnoll killer.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, we agreed not to put anyone in
+harm’s way in an excessive manner.
+
+LAURA: When did we agree that?
+
+TRAVIS: Did we not?
+
+LIAM: I don’t remember that, either.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t recall making that arrangement.
+
+LAURA: Did we agree to that?
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe I thought that was an unspoken
+thing.
+
+LAURA: Usually when you agree to something you
+have to say it out loud. Most of the time. Unless
+
+it’s, like– We just agreed to it! You said it,
+you said it!
+
+SAM: What did you agree to?
+
+LAURA: I can’t tell, it’s a secret! Oh! But she’s
+serious about it, I can tell!
+
+TALIESIN: You’re so good at this.
+
+LIAM: Well, my social anxiety is getting the best
+of me. I’m taking a walk. Goodbye.
+
+MATT: The door slams behind Caleb briskly making
+his exit.
+
+LAURA: Do you want a donut this morning? It’s a
+little more stale in the bag, I have to let you know.
+
+TRAVIS: I think I’m fine.
+
+LAURA: Do you want one?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah. More donut for us.
+
+MARISHA: I guess we should greet the town.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+LAURA: Wait! When did we say we were going to meet
+Bryce?
+
+SAM: Why are you yelling?
+
+LAURA: I thought they were leaving.
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, I think they’ll find us.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Maybe we could just stand in the
+middle of town and go, “Bryce?” until they show up.
+
+LAURA: In front of Broad Barn.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I have a question about this Broad
+Barn thing. Is Broad Barn the name of an
+
+establishment, or is Broad Barn a very broad
+barn?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a very long barn.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a very big barn?
+
+LAURA: What if it’s a street? We didn’t clarify,
+did we?
+
+MARISHA: What if it’s a tavern? I don’t know, I
+got confused in his delivery.
+
+LAURA: I bet we can ask the guy downstairs.
+
+MARISHA: All right, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: He seemed nice last night.
+
+TRAVIS: We go downstairs.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll follow for this.
+
+LIAM: It’s a Zork game. We go down the stairs.
+
+MATT: I know, apparently. You head downstairs to
+the only other real location within the Feed and
+
+Mead Tavern. There’s Crute still there off to the
+side and one very dirty and ashy civilian who is
+
+currently slowly scarfing a meal with a thousand
+yard stare. Looks like they had been close to the
+
+action and chaos the evening before. As you walk
+down, Crute looks across and goes, “I see you’re
+
+“awake. Would you like breakfast?”
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: Yes, please.
+
+MATT: “All right. It’ll be about an hour. Because
+it’s just me.”
+
+SAM: An hour? All right.
+
+MATT: “It’s just me.”
+
+LAURA: Do you want some help? I’ll come help you!
+
+MATT: “Come on!”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go in for this if it means a faster
+breakfast.
+
+MATT: The two of you jump in with Crute in what is
+a not very well-kept kitchen, but functional. The
+
+gristle, who knows how long it’s been there. It
+might add to the flavor, who knows.
+
+TRAVIS: A-rating for the city of Los Angeles?
+
+MATT: We’ll put it at a B in Panorama City.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, that’s an in-joke.
+
+MATT: You guys go ahead and help out. It does
+manage to cut down the time for breakfast
+
+preparation. Eventually food is presented.
+
+LAURA: After we’ve cooked, I’m going to switch out
+his salt for his sugar.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to see if I see this. I don’t, do
+I?
+
+MATT: You’re too caught up in the meal-making.
+
+LAURA: 19.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, I definitely don’t see this.
+
+MATT: Neither does Crute, as you manage to do so
+swiftly. Practiced, like you’ve done this before
+
+in many other establishments in the past, maybe.
+
+LAURA: After we cooked.
+
+TRAVIS: You just give us all diabetes, that’s
+great.
+
+TALIESIN: The frittatas are going to taste real
+weird.
+
+MATT: As you guys finish your breakfast, the rest
+of the day is yours.
+
+MARISHA: What does the town look like when we step
+out front? How bad is it?
+
+MATT: As you emerge from the tavern– and Caleb,
+you’ve already seen this– you see that the fires
+
+have now been reduced to maybe a dozen wide plumes
+of gray-white smoke on the eastern side of the
+
+city. It rises from the ashes and charred wood
+remains and wood frames where some buildings used
+
+to be. It seemed much more dangerous and chaotic
+last evening, but looking at it now in the day,
+
+it’s no more than maybe a dozen buildings or so
+that were affected. They were more centralized to
+
+cause the most chaos suddenly at that time of
+night. You get the sense as soon as you look
+
+around that the folks of the city are on edge,
+understandably so. You see the people are trying
+
+to pick up their lives and move on in the face of
+what recently occurred. The very air holds this
+
+tension as you look around you. People walk past
+you with sacks of grain and tools, their eyes
+
+wide, darting around for unseen danger and
+glancing past the two tieflings, immediately,
+
+instinctually step back a bit and make a wide
+berth. You watch children run from doorway to
+
+doorway, trying to stay out of the street as long
+as possible. It seems like it’s trying to carry
+
+on, but it’s going to be a process. Some folks are
+rummaging through the remains of the respective
+
+buildings. You glance over near where the central
+portion of your conflict last night took place,
+
+where the Candleglow Tavern is, and there you see,
+amongst the smoldering rubble of the inn, a single
+
+halfling man sifts through the wreckage, a
+crownsguard helping him lift heavier beams. You
+
+see as he plucks what he can of his former life
+from the rubble.
+
+SAM: Should we go over and talk to him?
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+SAM: Do we recognize this person?
+
+MATT: You have not met this person, no.
+
+LAURA: You’re a halfling, too, so maybe you should
+talk to him.
+
+SAM: I’m not technically.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk over.
+
+SAM: I’ll join. We’ll just go over and scare the
+shit out of him.
+
+TALIESIN: Need a hand?
+
+MATT: You can see a halfling man, maybe in his
+fifth decade or so. He has ashy blond hair and a
+
+face cracked by smiling, though now too dour and
+soot-covered to see any sort of smile on his face.
+
+As he pulls through some of the rubble and he’s
+making a small pile on the side, he looks up and
+
+goes, “Oh, right. Can I help you?”
+
+TALIESIN: We were part of this commotion last
+night. We were wondering if you need a hand with
+
+anything right now?
+
+MATT: “I mean, if you don’t–”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking off my jacket.
+
+MATT: “You don’t have to! Okay, okay.” As you dive
+in, you spend the next ten minutes helping move
+
+through some of the heavier beams that collapsed.
+There is still somewhat of a structure, mainly of
+
+the bottom floor, but a lot of the top floor, the
+one that you were in last night, has fallen in
+
+over time. So it’s moving some of the bigger beams
+out of the way. As you’re pulling through and
+
+moving some of the larger pieces of the structure,
+the halfling man goes, “I appreciate the help.
+
+"Name’s Thadeus. Thadeus Candleglow.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, this was your place?
+
+MATT: “It was.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, wow.
+
+MATT: “20 years since I was left this place. Built
+by my grandpaps, Reedus.”
+
+SAM: Were you here when the attack happened?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I was here. When they all came in, I
+was gone. I wasn’t about to stay around, you know?”
+
+SAM: Did you happen to see where they came from?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I did not. I was in the process of
+cleaning dishes and dealing with a couple of my
+
+"patrons. One of them–” and he points over to the
+rubble. You can see what looks to be a skeletal
+
+body that’s been partially collapsed. “I suppose
+Leiman’s probably not going to be a regular anymore.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, no.
+
+TALIESIN: You going to rebuild, give him a fine
+plaque?
+
+MATT: “Rebuilding requires something called money.
+I think I’m probably going to gather what I can
+
+"here and shop up north and see what other
+work I can get myself to.”
+
+LAURA: How much gold do you need?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. A building establishment like
+this. I’m not entirely certain, but I could check
+
+"in. I assume it’s probably a few thousand gold
+pieces for the structure.”
+
+LAURA: I just had that, too! I’m sorry, I don’t
+have it anymore. But I could try writing to my mom
+
+to see if she’ll help you.
+
+MATT: “That’s really sweet.”
+
+TALIESIN: Or, as another thought, since you were
+basically robbed, who were they? What happened?
+
+Has this happened before?
+
+MATT: “Oh, this hasn’t happened as long as I’ve
+been here, and I’ve been here most of my life,
+
+"here in Alfield. You hear about these things
+wandering on the outside, and you know crownsguard
+
+"keeps you safe. Anything comes too close, they
+just shoot them in the face with a bunch of arrows
+
+"and shit.”
+
+LAURA: I love him so much!
+
+SAM: Thadeus, did they seem to be after anything
+in particular? Were they here for property or
+
+people or gold or food?
+
+MATT: “They didn’t take any of the worthwhile
+stuff, thankfully.” He points over to a pile and
+
+you can see there’s some brass urn or vase that’s
+been smashed and dented by the conflict. You can
+
+see bits and pieces of a few keepsakes that might
+be worth a little bit of money that have been
+
+brought out. “They just mainly took all of our
+food stores. Most of my meats, most of my salted
+
+"meats, the dried meats, the fresh meats, the
+butchered meats. They cleared out the butcher down
+
+"the street.”
+
+LAURA: Shrimp scampi. Butterfly shrimp.
+
+TRAVIS: Coconut shrimp.
+
+LAURA: Fried shrimp.
+
+SAM: Don’t engage them.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re all going to die now.
+
+MATT: “That’s a real curious-looking face you got
+there.”
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, I saw in the middle of the fray–
+Sir. Excuse me.
+
+SAM: In Halfling, I say to him, I’ve also been a
+victim of a horrible attack.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+SAM: Oh, minus. Ten.
+
+MATT: But in Halfling, that helped. “Yeah, sorry.
+What can I do?”
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, I was part of the fray as well. I
+was right in the thick of it. I saw a cart piled
+
+high with bodies. Are there people missing from
+town?
+
+MATT: “Quite a few. You’d have to ask around some
+of the crownsguard.”
+
+LIAM: How has the rest of the village fared? Is
+everything as poorly off as you are?
+
+MATT: “I mean, plenty of folks seem to get through
+this okay. They only took down a few buildings.
+
+"I’m more worried about the folks that were plucked
+from their homes.”
+
+LIAM: Is yours the only business that was hit?
+
+MATT: “I haven’t looked around, to be perfectly
+honest. I’ve been a little focused on–” and he
+
+gestures out with his hands at the rubble that was
+once his life.
+
+TALIESIN: You had a lot of meat, didn’t you?
+
+MATT: “Well, you have to present meat. A lot of
+people around here eat meat.”
+
+TALIESIN: Would you say that you offer a larger
+selection of meat than some of the other
+
+establishments in town?
+
+MATT: “If you’re asking me, then the best meat.
+Don’t know about quantity, but quality was–” (tongue click)
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like I’ve been robbed of the
+experience of your fine, fine meat products, and
+
+I, for one, would like you to rebuild so that I
+might try some of your meats.
+
+MATT: “Well, if at some point the gracious gods
+see fit to bequeath upon me a strike of good luck
+
+"and I can get to rebuilding, my friend, one day,
+you may be able to try one of my meats.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a look– Is the friend
+who’s dead skeletonized?
+
+MATT: Oh, yeah, burnt charred.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, burnt, okay. Where is this butcher
+that you mentioned as well?
+
+MATT: “Oh that’s–” He steps out through where the
+doorframe is still standing, the one that you
+
+defended yourself through most of that battle,
+just a free-standing frame now.
+
+MARISHA: Was I in the butcher’s? Because that
+would be some real horror-level shit.
+
+TALIESIN: I think you were in the barbecue shack.
+
+MARISHA: That’s kind of awesome.
+
+MATT: He points over to a building across the way,
+which is one of the buildings that was nearby. He
+
+says, “That there’s the Ruddy Top Butcher, well,
+what remains of it,” and you can see that building
+
+too. It’s still standing, and it’s nowhere near as
+damaged as the Candleglow Inn, but it’s sustained
+
+quite a bit of damage, and it looks like the roof
+has fallen in.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, Mollymauk, another question for
+you: Is there maybe– I hope it is still
+
+standing– but a supply store?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, if you’re looking for farming
+supplies, general supplies, there’s–”
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, I’m in the need of some incense.
+
+MATT: “Oh, you could probably find something like
+that there, The Broad Barn.”
+
+LAURA: Oh! It’s a store!
+
+MARISHA: Question answered. I’m sorry, I’m
+standing by Fjord. Question answered!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like half a question, because
+you’re wondering why it’s called that at this point.
+
+LAURA: I bet it’s big.
+
+TALIESIN: At least wide.
+
+MATT: “At one time it was a barn, but the farm
+stopped giving up crop, and so they converted the
+
+"barn itself into what was a general store, because
+they started selling off the tools they didn’t
+
+"need, but that made them more money than the crops
+did that year, so we started importing more tools,
+
+"and for the past 30 years the Broad Barn has been
+our commonly known general supply place there on
+
+"the western side of Alfield, so if you want
+to–”
+
+SAM: This is really fascinating.
+
+LAURA: Wow, this is a really good talk that we’ve
+had.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+TRAVIS: Did you just out-talk Jester?
+
+LAURA: I think I’m going to go look for the Broad
+Barn
+
+TALIESIN: That’s an idea. Don’t pack up shop just
+yet, we’re going to see if we can do something
+
+about these terrible creatures that have been
+roaming around.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we’ll find all of those thousands of
+gold for you, and you can build your shop back up.
+
+MATT: “Well, y'all look like you’re geared up to
+be making a mess. You going after these things?”
+
+TALIESIN: We are, perhaps, persons of action.
+
+LAURA: We’re really tough. We have no fear.
+
+MATT: He leans in real close to you, getting on
+his tippy toes to meet your gaze, and he says,
+
+“Well, if you manage to go and kill some of them
+dog people, you tell them Thadeus Candleglow says hi.”
+
+LAURA: I will.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+TALIESIN: She really will.
+
+MATT: “Good.”
+
+LAURA: Here. It’s a moldy donut. Be well,
+child, the Traveler is with you.
+
+MATT: “I’m not a child, but I appreciate the
+gesture.”
+
+LAURA: You know my name! I leave.
+
+MATT: “Gesture. Her name’s Gesture!”
+
+TALIESIN: It is a gesture, like Prince.
+
+MATT: The adventurer formerly known as Jester. He
+takes a bite, and (spitting).
+
+LIAM: Also, I’m sorry, just between you and me, I
+know the look on your face a little bit, you seem
+
+a little manic. If you have friends you can stay
+with right now, you know you don’t have to rebuild
+
+it today. I recommend you take it slow.
+
+MATT: “I don’t think I have much of a choice at
+the moment.” He gives a long stare towards you
+
+that fades past a little bit beyond. “Anyway, I
+should get back to picking up the pieces. Excuse
+
+"me,” and starts gathering more stuff from the
+rubble, and the crownsguard behind goes over and
+
+takes the things he’s already gathered, and begins
+putting them into a small crate, and doesn’t engage.
+
+MARISHA: While they were having that conversation,
+I’m hanging back with Fjord, if you’re cool with that.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Question: If you were a crazy, ravenous,
+dog humanoid person thing, what would make you
+
+really hungry all of a sudden? I didn’t phrase
+that question very well.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I knew where you were going with it,
+though. How do we ring the dinner bells, is what
+
+you’re saying. How do we get them to come to us?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It seems like they’re into meat?
+Kind of anything.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, they done took it all, I think.
+
+MARISHA: Also, they’re really hungry, more so
+now.
+
+TRAVIS: Why more so now?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. Why more so now?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, they took all the Luby’s Cafeteria
+with them, so I don’t think they’re going to be
+
+hungry for a bit.
+
+MARISHA: But what if they are still hungry?
+
+TRAVIS: Then we would need to roast some meats.
+
+MARISHA: You know who else was really hungry out
+of fucking nowhere?
+
+TRAVIS: Who?
+
+MARISHA: Big angry toad man. Devil toad guy. I
+feel like I should get better names for all these things.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. He was hungry all of a sudden?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. I mean, it might be a
+coincidence.
+
+TRAVIS: You thinking some of them gnolls had
+some fiendish qualities, perhaps?
+
+MARISHA: Well, considering some of them were
+undead.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, shit.
+
+MARISHA: There was that whole zombie gnoll thing.
+
+TRAVIS: I forgot all about that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. How could you forget that?
+
+TRAVIS: I have some weird dreams. What did you have
+in mind? Other nights.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: What?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I legitimately didn’t understand what you
+said.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, nothing, I got shit in my teeth.
+
+MARISHA: Are you okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, fine. Did you have a plan? Did you
+want to do something to wrangle them–
+
+MARISHA: I was just striking conversation.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, sorry. Well, maybe we’ll follow them
+to the Barn Broad.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, let’s go to the Barn Broad.
+
+TRAVIS: Broad Barn. I was fucking with you.
+
+MARISHA: I was going along with you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s all right.
+
+TALIESIN: When did we hire Tom Stoppard to write
+this?
+
+MATT: I know. Seriously.
+
+TALIESIN: I couldn’t deal.
+
+MATT: Where are you guys off to?
+
+LIAM: To the Broad Barn.
+
+MATT: You were told it was on the western edge of
+town, and since most of the city is built on two
+
+intersections of main road, you follow the core
+essential east to west path, and on the way out,
+
+where you first entered last night, even though
+you just ran past it, you can see there is indeed,
+
+right on the edge of town, almost like the town
+was built to fill the gap in between, a very large
+
+barn that looks to have hundreds and hundreds of
+feet of coiled rope on the outside. The front doors are
+
+wide open and you can see a number of folks are
+coming in and out, many of them with cleaning
+
+supplies, heavy pieces of cloth, buckets, whatever
+can be used to start getting rid of the remaining
+
+black splash and ashy covering of last night’s
+destruction. You also notice, as you approach on
+
+the outside, there’s a bit of commotion. You see a
+dozen or so crownsguard, and a handful of armed
+
+volunteers, that all appear to be in regular civvy
+farmer clothing, that are all gathered in a loose
+
+huddle, with Bryce among them. You hear a loud
+grating voice from within that huddle. As you
+
+approach from the outskirts, you see a middle-aged
+male gnome of ruddy complexion and slicked parted
+
+dark hair. He wears very clean maroon and gold
+robes, and that would lend an air of elegance,
+
+were he not hopping around and pointing fingers.
+You see as he starts shouting between the crew,
+
+waving his hand around, “Without any warning, it
+was your job, Bryce! With Ruben cold dead, that
+
+"leaves no Lawmaster to preside, forcing me to take
+that position as well. I do not need that added
+
+"responsibility, but until we get a new Lawmaster
+instated from Rexxentrum, I have no choice.” Bryce
+
+pipes up at this point, glancing over and seeing
+you guys’ presence, “Starosta, I’ve sent a request
+
+"to both Zadash and Bladegarden for a supplementary
+force, but it may be weeks before any would
+
+"arrive. Can we send trained hands at my approval
+to retaliate?” At which point, the Starosta, which
+
+has now been identified, says, “We cannot spare any of
+our forces while the surviving guard are drawn so
+
+"thin. Out of the question! Maintain a vigilant
+perimeter and deflect any further incursions.”
+
+Bryce nods slowly. “Can we at least have
+permission to hire mercenary strength to
+
+"retaliate, then? I feel not being proactive before
+the gnoll force can fully regroup would put us at a
+
+"severe disadvant–” At which point is cut off by
+the Starosta. “Yes, that’s fine! Hire outside! I
+
+"don’t want any more of my citizens’ deaths on my
+record. Dismissed!”
+
+He immediately pushes through the
+crownsguard and storms off, which is hilarious to
+
+watch a gnome storm out of a group of people, and
+off with a huff is escorted by three crownsguard
+
+from behind, out of that space. The crowd begins
+to murmur and disperse, and go about their
+
+business. Bryce turns and smiles at all of you.
+They’ve washed up from last night’s damage and
+
+dirty conflict, so as they approach–
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Jester, and I go, look
+inviting. Look heroic.
+
+MATT: “I’m deeply sorry about that. Starosta Kosh
+is high-strung on a holiday, and tensions have
+
+"never been this high since he was assigned here
+eight years ago, so please don’t take that to
+
+"heart. He’s just a–”
+
+LAURA: Dick.
+
+MATT: “Your words, not mine.”
+
+TRAVIS: Seems some people handle pressure better
+than others. He doesn’t seem like the handling type.
+
+MATT: “No. Those in higher political positions
+rarely do, it seems. Anyway, I want to thank you
+
+"all again for your aid last night. I can’t fathom
+the further death toll, had you not been there and
+
+"jumped in selflessly as you did. Thank you.” Bryce
+trails off and looks back towards where Starosta
+
+Kosh had stormed off and goes, “Fucking Dwendalian
+political bullshit. We’ve needed a more trained
+
+"guard here for weeks, especially with Xhorhas
+bleeding into the valley, but we’re far too south
+
+"to matter. Any request has been declined due to
+all necessary forces being needed at the garrisons
+
+"by Brokenveil. If they were doing their jobs at
+the Bluffs, we wouldn’t have so many reports of
+
+"violent beasts in the valley in the first place,
+but here we are. At least I’ve gotten approval for
+
+"a bit more cash. To that, while I do not know what
+your business here is in Alfield, if you are still
+
+"interested, we are in need of some skilled
+mercenary work.”
+
+LAURA: We’re going to kill all of them!
+
+TRAVIS: We couldn’t help but overhear that you
+were asking for some aid. How long were you
+
+thinking you might need these replacements?
+
+MATT: “Well, until at least this threat has been
+dealt with in a satisfactory way. I’ve
+
+"unfortunately not had my scouts return after
+they were sent the night before, which does not
+
+"bode well, but I suspect that we should see some
+sort of hopeful backup sent by Zadash or
+
+"Bladegarden within the next week or two. In the meantime,
+we’re a bit of a sitting duck scenario, so I’ve
+
+"sent a few guards to go to Zadash to see what
+other mercenaries could be sent forward. We do
+
+"have some folks traveling along the road and will
+keep an eye out to see if anybody else is looking
+
+"for some coin, but for now, you are our first line
+of defense. Or offense, if you will.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I think I speak for all of us, we’re
+certainly up to the task for a bit. Well, maybe
+
+for a little less than a bit. Can I ask, are there
+any other threats to this town, besides those gnolls?
+
+MATT: “Oh, there are plenty of threats. Let’s see,
+famine, syphilis–”
+
+TRAVIS: Things that come on legs and with weapons,
+I mean.
+
+LAURA: Syphilis can come with legs–
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like that was worth pointing
+out.
+
+TRAVIS: Why do both of you know that?
+
+MATT: “You’re not wrong.”
+
+TALIESIN: Tiefling thing.
+
+MATT: “This backwards place has its fair share of
+issues, as I’ve come to learn as being not from
+
+"the region, but it seems to me that nothing on
+this scale has quite assaulted in some time. I
+
+"mean, there have been wandering rumors of terrible
+things and creatures wandering past the Xhorhas
+
+"border for as long as the Dwendalian Empire has
+been around. It’s the whole reason that the
+
+"garrison’s up north. But this far south, generally
+the guard can keep things at bay. This is a very
+
+"organized thing, I don’t like it. I don’t like it
+at all.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s new, then?
+
+MATT: “Well, this is new. Nothing on this scale.”
+
+TALIESIN: It seems, from what we’ve seen, that
+they were hungry.
+
+MATT: “I’ve done a bit of research overnight, and
+it seems that gnolls are known to be very
+
+"aggressively hungry creatures. Could say famished
+to the point of obsession.”
+
+LAURA: I feel their pain.
+
+TALIESIN: I can understand that.
+
+LIAM: So you wish to hire us. How much? We are
+very experienced, but we’d like to know what we’re
+
+talking about in advance. What kind of money are
+we talking about?
+
+MATT: “The deal stands. 30 gold per gnoll ear,
+proof of a dead gnoll. If you can recover any of
+
+"the missing townsfolk here in Alfield and bring
+them back safely, I’d be willing to pay 25 gold a
+
+"head, returned.”
+
+SAM: What if we find a dead body and bring it
+back?
+
+LIAM: Is there some lesser number for those?
+
+MATT: “There is, because even if they are gone, we
+would wish to bury those we’ve lost. I could
+
+"probably muster ten gold per retrieved member of
+the Alfield citizenry.”
+
+LAURA: Specifically their heads, too?
+
+MATT: “Preferably all of them. Whatever you can
+find.”
+
+LIAM: It is permissible, is what they’re saying
+here.
+
+MATT: “Seeing what these creatures did last night,
+I don’t know what state you’ll find any of
+
+"them, but I’m being hopeful.”
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know what area they might have gone
+to?
+
+MATT: “They seemed to be heading east, to a
+northeast direction. That’s where the scouts went
+
+"before they left. I wish I had more information
+for you, but that may be the place to start.”
+
+LIAM: Could you tell us at least what the
+landscape is like in that direction, what is over there?
+
+MATT: “There are some spotty woods on the
+outskirts of the town that Alfield was built
+
+"into. Beyond that, it’s rolling hills and fields.
+There are some older, long grown-over settlements
+
+"that have been abandoned. Small-scale, but
+honestly, beyond here it’s mainly fields.”
+
+LAURA: I bet we can find some ghosts.
+
+TALIESIN: I always love a ruin.
+
+MATT: “If I might offer some advice: If you do see
+a ghost, don’t engage.”
+
+LAURA: Do you know where they are? So we know how
+to steer clear?
+
+MATT: “My dear, there are ghosts everywhere in
+this world. It’s far more ancient than you assume.”
+
+LAURA: Ooh!
+
+MARISHA: Bryce, some of these gnolls were undead,
+or raised from the dead. Do you have any inkling
+
+as to why, or have you seen that problem around
+here before?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know as to why, but it’s not
+uncommon, from what I could ascertain. Whatever
+
+"dark powers they worship, it seems, allows some to
+progress beyond death. Rumors are that when gnolls
+
+"go hungry and left to feed on each other, what
+remains rises to fight alongside those that still live.”
+
+LAURA: That would be why some of them have chunks
+missing out of them.
+
+LIAM: This comes from research you have done, that
+you have read up on? Would you be able to share
+
+this reading with me, so that we are fully
+prepared?
+
+MATT: “Honestly, I just shared with you most of
+all that I had learned.”
+
+LIAM: Just a small book.
+
+TRAVIS: More of a pamphlet, actually.
+
+MATT: “The only other bit of information I was
+able to pull from that was, they have this thing,
+
+"this entity that they worship. It has a name.”
+Pulls out a few small notes.
+
+LAURA: Fire hydrant.
+
+SAM: Does it start with an A? Sometimes if you go
+down through the alphabet, A, B–
+
+MATT: As you’re saying this, they pull a small
+series of notes from their pocket. “Yeenoghu.”
+
+SAM: With a Y? That would have taken forever.
+
+MATT: Let that be a lesson, young halfling.
+
+LIAM: With a Y? Yeenogru?
+
+ALL: Yeenoghu.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know how to pronounce it, I only
+read it. I apologize.”
+
+TALIESIN: Do I know anything about Yeenoghu?
+
+MATT: Make a religion check. With advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: A religion check? 18.
+
+MATT: It sparks a memory in you. Information
+floods your mind, and you recall hearing about
+
+various demonic leaders of the Abyss. Creatures
+that once walked the prime plane. You see images
+
+of this large, bestial, feral, angry demon.
+Ever-hungering, ever wandering to conquer and
+
+devour in its wake, leaving destruction, fetid
+meat, and waves of yipping, angry hyenas to devour
+
+what was left behind.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, another question. May I call you
+Bryce?
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+LIAM: Bryce. We were just about to go inside the
+barn here and get outfitted for this– for many
+
+things, but especially now that we are going to go
+take care of this problem. Do you have any sort of
+
+pull with these people? Might we get any
+friendly–
+
+TRAVIS: Advance?
+
+LIAM: No. Well, sure, but I’m talking about some
+sort of discount for getting ready for the road.
+
+We’re not that flush.
+
+MATT: “It’s not so much about that, more than
+these aren’t well-to-do people in their own right,
+
+"and right now, honestly, rebuilding–”
+
+LIAM: It’s asking a bit much, I was too forward.
+
+MATT: “That’s all right. But you, as I know quite
+well from personal experience, have some coin to
+
+"your name. Perhaps that will be of aid to you.”
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: One last quick question, though. What do
+the gnolls normally eat?
+
+MATT: “As far as I could tell, whatever living
+things they can get their hands on.”
+
+TALIESIN: Those buffalo creatures that we see
+roaming around?
+
+MATT: “Probably.”
+
+TALIESIN: Good to know.
+
+MATT: “I will say, if there are any surviving
+captives, then haste is very much key. For if they
+
+"are as hungry as they seem, regardless of the
+massive volume they have acquired through the
+
+"evening, I know not how many their number is, or
+how hungry they are. Take too long, there may not
+
+"be much left to find.”
+
+LAURA: We’ll get this stuff and head right out.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, my curiosity gets the best of me,
+always. You are talking about buff– “buffaro”
+
+creatures, or something? We saw these beasts on
+the outskirts of town. They look brown-furred,
+
+beast of burden-type creature? Do you know what
+those animals are?
+
+MATT: “Right, yes. The valley aurochs.”
+
+LIAM: Valley aurochs? Got it, thank you. All
+right, we should get ready for the road. Walking
+
+into the store.
+
+LAURA: Was it hit at all? Was the store that we’re
+going into destroyed at all?
+
+MATT: No, this was far enough west. It was mainly
+just a few buildings in the eastern side. Coming
+
+from where the woods were, it seemed like they
+were using cover of tree and canopy upon the
+
+incursion, then immediately assaulted partway into
+the eastern part of the city, burned it from the
+
+middle, and then used the flames to escape out the
+back. What were you about to say?
+
+MARISHA: (gasps) Bryce?
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (exaggerated coughing)
+
+MATT: “Yes? Are you all right?”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, a lot on my mind. Speaking of the
+aurochs, I asked you yesterday if you’d heard if any of the
+
+farmers had had their cattle hit? You heard that
+yet?
+
+MATT: “I could ask around. It does happen on
+occasion.”
+
+MARISHA: It’s fine. We’ll ask on our way out. It’s
+good.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+MATT: “If you’ll excuse me, I do have something to
+get to. But good luck and godspeed.”
+
+LAURA: Have fun dealing with the dick.
+
+MATT: “I’ll do my best.” Bryce turns around and
+leaves.
+
+LAURA: Did I recognize Starosta Kosh? Did he seem
+like the type that would have made a little side
+
+trip down to– because he seems like the type.
+
+TRAVIS: Was that a character-DM inside joke?
+
+MARISHA: I know; I feel like I learned something.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m filing, I’m putting a wall
+between that.
+
+SAM: I can’t read your dice at all.
+
+LAURA: Intelligence, 18.
+
+MATT: The robe coloring is what caught you, and
+the hair. The specific slicked and parted comb.
+
+You have seen this individual before. You were
+younger. Maybe eight or so years ago. Eight or
+
+nine years.
+
+LAURA: Good to know.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re just made of secrets, aren’t you?
+Just made of secrets.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: In my personal holdings– I don’t really
+remember putting this there– but apparently I
+
+have five sticks of incense that I have no
+intention of using.
+
+LIAM: Oh yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: Will that do you any good?
+
+LIAM: Well, that would be worth about– how much,
+DM?
+
+MATT: What does this incense come from?
+
+TRAVIS: I think it was part of a thing. I don’t
+know.
+
+LIAM: A pack or something?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s D&D Beyond. I don’t know.
+
+MATT: Oh, so it’s part of an adventuring pack,
+then.
+
+TRAVIS: I think so, yes.
+
+MATT: It would be negligible by comparison. I’d
+say maybe, at most, five silver’s worth. At most.
+
+LIAM: That is really very–
+
+TRAVIS: Changed your day, didn’t it? Everything’s
+coming up flowers now.
+
+LIAM: Yes, this has helped me immeasurably.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t mention it.
+
+LAURA: Wait, wait. How much incense do you need?
+
+LIAM: Well, it depends on how much I want to do
+with it. I want my cat back. But I was in the
+
+realm of 15 or 20 gold I’m going to spend here
+today, if they have that much.
+
+LAURA: On incense?! And that five sticks was five
+silver’s worth?
+
+LIAM: Did anyone say that out loud?
+
+SAM: She has a good eye for value.
+
+LAURA: That is a lot of incense to burn.
+
+MATT: Well, there’s a lot of parts to–
+
+LIAM: It’s not quantity. It is the quality of
+the incense. And this was top-shelf, but I still
+
+need more. So, in we go. And then I say: Thank
+you, big guy. And I punch him and I walk in.
+
+TRAVIS: As he walks away, I’m like: Ow!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I think both of you do that, as you both
+separate.
+
+LIAM: Keep up a good face for two seconds.
+
+MATT: As you walk into Broad Barn, there are five
+other individuals that are coming through and
+
+picking up thick cloth for cleaning. One person is
+picking up a few different burn balm kits. On the
+
+far end, as they’re checking out, there is an
+extremely old gentleman with this giant, gnarled
+
+tuft of a chin beard that merges with this halo,
+like a lion’s mane of white hair. He has this
+
+really thin, long, crooked nose. Almost like
+Engywook from NeverEnding Story, but no glasses.
+
+He’s trying to keep a smile in the rather dark
+faces of the people that are coming in, with the
+
+evening’s events coming around. As you guys walk
+in and approach, he glances down and goes, “Well.
+
+"If y'all need something, y'all just let me know.”
+
+SAM: Oh boy. West Virginia.
+
+LAURA: Do you have any pickles?
+
+MATT: “Y'all want pickles?”
+
+LAURA: You seem like the type of place that would
+carry pickles.
+
+MATT: He leans back and rummages through what
+sounds like a small paper bag.
+
+LAURA: They come in barrels, usually. You get
+barrels of pickles.
+
+MATT: There’s a small glass mason jar with two
+pickles and he goes, “I’m willing to part with
+
+"these here pickles!”
+
+LAURA: Is it poop in a jar? Or is it pickles?
+
+MATT: No, it’s pickles. It looks like he may have
+just pulled it out of his lunch.
+
+TRAVIS: Only you would put poop in a jar, Jester.
+
+LAURA: That’s true.
+
+MATT: “I could part with them for around three
+copper?”
+
+LAURA: That is a good deal, sir, and I will give
+you the copper.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you need more copper? Are you all
+right?
+
+LAURA: No, hold on. No, I’ve got copper around
+somewhere.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, because I’ll give you two copper
+if I get one of those pickles.
+
+LAURA: Okay! Here, I pick some lint off one of the
+coppers that I have.
+
+MATT: He takes the copper from you.
+
+TALIESIN: I pass him the two copper.
+
+MATT: He takes the copper from you. Slides forward
+the pickles and goes, (laughs) “Good deal!”
+
+LIAM: Excuse me. I just inhaled my own spit.
+
+MATT: “Don’t do that! That is not conducive to a
+lengthy lifetime.”
+
+LIAM: (Speak N Spell voice) I am okay. (as Caleb)
+I am needing a very fine kind of incense, and I
+
+don’t know if that is the type of thing this
+establishment would carry, but it’s very
+
+important. Do you have that sort of thing?
+
+MATT: “You want incense? That’s fancy.”
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, it’s very noisy in the shop. What
+did you say?
+
+MATT: “It’s really fancy, them incense.”
+
+LIAM: Well, look at me. Can you not tell how fancy
+I am?
+
+MATT: “That’s why I’m curious.”
+
+LIAM: Well. You know, I’ve been on the road a long
+time and I’m carrying a smell with me, if you
+
+cannot tell.
+
+MATT: “I got incense!”
+
+LIAM: To the point, I like it. I would like to
+spend about 20 gold worth of incense. Do you have
+
+that much? I don’t mean cheap shit.
+
+MATT: “What kind of establishment do you take me
+for?”
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s a barn, ja?
+
+MATT: “Touché.” He wanders away from there and
+gathers any semblance of anything that could be
+
+considered incense to some degree. It’s a massive
+volume, it’s– when he said quality over quantity,
+
+this is definitely a quantity circumstance. Two big
+burlap sacks filled with all sorts of fine ground
+
+herbs and things that could amount to–
+
+LIAM: I would like to make an insight check to
+make sure it’s not oregano.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LIAM: Come on, where’s the druid? That’s what
+would be for oregano. That’s Vex. This one.
+
+LAURA: But she would know if you were swindling.
+
+LIAM: Perception?
+
+MATT: No, that’ll be insight.
+
+LIAM: Insight? Oh, that’s much better. That is an
+elf.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: A what?
+
+MATT: An elf.
+
+LIAM: Elf. 11. You just learned something,
+everybody. It’s 11 in German.
+
+MATT: He seems to be doing the best he can.
+
+LIAM: Good. This is really good. I will give you
+17 gold for all this.
+
+MATT: “Deal!”
+
+LIAM: One. Two. (continues counting)
+
+SAM: While he’s counting this out, is there anyone
+else in the store? Anyone at all?
+
+MATT: At this point, there’s three other people in
+the store, and they’re slowly filtering out.
+
+SAM: Do I see any little trinkets or anything?
+Little brass things? Little baby bottles? Anything?
+
+MATT: It seems that most everything they have
+here– a lot of them are basic farming supplies.
+
+There are a few metallic joints that could be used
+for when you’re tapping a keg. They have some keg
+
+taps there. They have– oh my god.
+
+LAURA: You’re such a dick.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+SAM: Oh, that one fell.
+
+LIAM: 16. And I push the 16 gold forward.
+
+MATT: (slamming) “I appreciate your patronage.”
+
+LIAM: These are heavy.
+
+TALIESIN: I know this may be a stretch, but do you
+have maybe any healing potions or anything like
+
+that? Or maybe– this might be weird– some kind
+of poisons maybe?
+
+MATT: “That’s pretty weird. I’m going to say
+there, sir, I mean you look pretty weird. That’s a
+
+"pretty weird request. No, we do not carry
+poisons.”
+
+TALIESIN: For dealing with pests on a farm. That
+sort of thing.
+
+MATT: “We have insecticides.”
+
+TALIESIN: Think that will work on a gnoll?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Insecticide. Pesticide. Herbicide.
+
+MARISHA: An insecticide generally refers to
+insects. And we’re talking gnolls.
+
+LAURA: But it’s usually poison you put–
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but you ever chugged a bunch of
+insecticide? That’s a bad day.
+
+TALIESIN: Stuff is stuff, it’s bad for anybody. I
+guess.
+
+LIAM: Is it flammable? Do I know if it’s
+flammable?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: How much is it?
+
+MATT: “For about a vial that big? A silver.”
+
+MARISHA: You’re going to have to use a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: What would that really– If I were to
+drink that right now, what do you think that would
+
+do to me?
+
+MATT: “Probably have some real serious shits
+for a few days.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like Visine.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, really?
+
+SAM: May I examine it?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m going to look at it. Smell it. Look
+at the fluid. Do I know anything about this
+
+chemical at all?
+
+MATT: You do. It’s a very diluted form of acute
+poison, to the point where it wouldn’t actually
+
+affect any larger creature. But if put in a large
+batch of water used to spray down crops, certain
+
+insects– what are they called again? I forget–
+aphids, things like that would die off.
+
+SAM: Aphids? Oh, that’s nothing. It won’t really
+do much.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you know about these sorts of
+things?
+
+SAM: Sometimes. Not a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very impressive.
+
+LIAM: Nott, you’re selling yourself short.
+
+SAM: Speaking of– and I’ll ask him for the
+components to make acid. Does he have that stuff?
+
+MATT: Yeah. In a very Anarchist Cookbook kind of
+way. He doesn’t sell you acid, but there are the
+
+materials available where you could create it.
+
+SAM: Okay. How much for all this shit?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: How many vials’ worth are you looking for?
+
+SAM: Just one.
+
+MATT: Just one? “This will run you about 12
+gold.”
+
+SAM: All right. That’s fine.
+
+LAURA: Oh, can you throw a med kit in there
+with it, if you have any left?
+
+MATT: He looks around. “I’m afraid we’re clear
+out. Bit of a– ”
+
+LAURA: You have things going on.
+
+MATT: “Lot of things. Sorry.”
+
+LAURA: It’s fine.
+
+MATT: “My apologies.”
+
+LAURA: No, it’s okay. I have this pickle.
+
+MATT: “It’s a good pickle.”
+
+TALIESIN: It was.
+
+MARISHA: Is it a good pickle, though?
+
+LAURA: I haven’t tried it. I just drank the juice,
+but he ate it.
+
+TALIESIN: I ate mine. It was quite good. Now we’re
+just sharing the juice at this point.
+
+MARISHA: Guys, let’s go kill gnolls.
+
+TRAVIS: Just the juice?
+
+TALIESIN: Juice is great!
+
+TRAVIS: It is. With a little whiskey.
+
+MATT: (groans)
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Picklebacks!
+
+MATT: Brine drinkers.
+
+MARISHA: Nom nom nom!
+
+TRAVIS: Like cheeseburger in a shot glass.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, so good!
+
+MATT: Ugh, stop it.
+
+LAURA: Are we prepared now to go?
+
+SAM: Wait, no.
+
+LIAM: No, I have things to do.
+
+SAM: Do you sell any healing potions?
+
+TALIESIN: I asked that.
+
+SAM: You asked that already?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I did ask that.
+
+SAM: Oh. Never mind!
+
+MATT: “We’re not really purveyors of healing
+potions, and those that have are usually held by
+
+"the Crownsguard.”
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, the Crownsguard? Really?
+
+LAURA: We didn’t ask Bryce for any healing
+potions.
+
+TALIESIN: We should ask Bryce for some healing
+potions.
+
+MATT: You actually asked the night before, and
+Bryce had said that they’re currently being used
+
+to tend to the people that were in really bad
+places. It’s hard to walk through a war zone and
+
+be like, “Hey guys! Do you have supplies?”
+
+TRAVIS: What do you need to do for the rest of the
+day, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Well, I would really like to get my cat
+back, so I would need about an hour to go do a
+
+little stuff. Do you have anything else to do?
+
+LAURA: I mean, there are people getting chopped up
+and eaten. But if you really want a cat.
+
+LIAM: What are we doing? Are we taking our cart?
+
+TALIESIN: Take the cart? And get some meat from
+the butcher?
+
+LAURA: We might be able to go faster.
+
+TRAVIS: I think if we were a little spread it
+would help.
+
+LIAM: Well, okay. Maybe I can put it on hold,
+although I really hate to. But let’s come up with
+
+what are we doing? What is the plan?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I would follow the direction they
+left last night. See if we can find a trail.
+
+SAM: We’re just going to go into the belly of the
+beast? Because one of them shot me and killed me
+
+with an arrow. We could draw them out.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you just stay behind Caleb. You’ll
+be fine.
+
+LAURA: You didn’t die, Nott. I saved you.
+
+SAM: Thank you so much, but I don’t want to be in
+that predicament again! Can we draw them out somehow?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: They are fond of meat. Here’s my idea. We
+stage a barbecue contest. Finest in the land! All
+
+the best barbecue will be there! And then, when
+they come to sample our wares, I run and you kill them.
+
+TRAVIS: You know, I love that idea. Small thing,
+though. Time, again, is of the essence.
+
+SAM: Because you want to slow cook that stuff to
+be really good. It’s true.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. Dry aged. Really get a good hickory
+chip under them. Problem is, people might be dying
+
+in the meantime. So if we could find a more
+expedient solution?
+
+LIAM: Oh, so were you thinking of having a
+barbecue here or setting up a barbecue on the road?
+
+LAURA: I’m think in the middle of a field, yes. So
+that it’s–
+
+LIAM: Just a random field?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: It’ll take a while to make the signage
+alone.
+
+LAURA: So it seems like less of a trap.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau had an idea! Get them, Beau! You tell
+her–
+
+MARISHA: No, you take it for her, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau had a fantastic observation. If we
+happen to see one of those beasts of burden on
+
+our way out tracking, maybe we could wrangle one
+up and use it as a bait.
+
+LAURA: And if we don’t see one, then Fjord, you’re
+the biggest.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+LIAM: Either way, we will probably need the
+cart.
+
+TALIESIN: We could also see what they still have
+at the butcher’s.
+
+TRAVIS: To bring people back.
+
+LAURA: And bring people back!
+
+SAM: And maybe one extra horse.
+
+MARISHA: What did you say, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Or we could see what else they still
+have at the butcher’s. There’s a butcher.
+
+MARISHA: Well, the butcher got severely cleaned
+out.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we just heard that, he might–
+
+TRAVIS: I think you’re right. Extra horse. We need
+the cart.
+
+LIAM: To carry one of those beasts if we kill
+one.
+
+MARISHA: If we can try and figure out a way to
+set up our operation on the edge of the forest so
+
+that we’re not in the middle of a field, in the
+open–
+
+LIAM: Well, is the point to try to– I’m sorry, no,
+you finish your thought.
+
+MARISHA: Hills are bad to fight in, unless you’re
+on top of the hill. That’s good.
+
+LIAM: I’m not a tactician, but I have a question.
+
+MARISHA: Go ahead.
+
+LIAM: Are we trying to go back to these things where they
+live? Their lair, their home, their camp? Or are
+
+we hoping to luck into them on the road or–?
+
+TRAVIS: I think we’d be making a best guess at this
+point. My best hope is to find out where they are.
+
+What it looks like where they’re staying, and if
+we can, without confrontation, get some survivors
+
+out of there. That would be ideal.
+
+LIAM: I like that idea as well.
+
+MARISHA: Actually, that’s not a bad idea at all.
+Maybe we could have like a survivor round up team
+
+and a defense team?
+
+LAURA: But then how do we get all of the ears?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just putting it out there: maybe
+survivors before ears.
+
+MARISHA: We can always go back out and get more
+ears whenever we damn feel like it.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s the thing. We can do both, but
+there is a timestamp on the people. We should take
+
+care of the people first. Because then we’re
+increasing how much gold we will bring in because
+
+if they die then we will not get as much money for
+them if they are alive. We should get them alive.
+
+Get them out. Kill the baddies if we can at the
+same time, and if not, go back a second time.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought you said you weren’t a
+tactician, look at you!
+
+SAM: He’s very smart.
+
+TALIESIN: Extremely tactile.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb’s plan! Let’s do it!
+
+LIAM: No social graces. Let’s do this.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Break!
+
+SAM: Are we getting another horse?
+
+LAURA: We’re going to ask Bryce if they have a
+horse to spare.
+
+SAM: Why don’t you four go get horses? Me and the
+C-man will go get some incense and stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: C-man? I thought I was the seaman? Fucking
+get your titles right. Come on, brother, you know
+
+you want to! I’m a proud son of a bitch!
+
+SAM: Sorry! You’re a seaman.
+
+LIAM: Wait, so now we need time?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to go get a horse, you don’t
+need to be here for that.
+
+LIAM: Oh god. I really want my cat, but maybe–
+
+SAM: Let’s go get some incense! I need to buy some
+tarts.
+
+LIAM: We’ll get the tarts. Maybe it would be
+handier as a bird.
+
+LAURA: You need a tart?
+
+SAM: I need a tart.
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, why didn’t you say something?
+Hold on, let me dig.
+
+SAM: That’s a bag of pastries!
+
+LAURA: There’s this one–
+
+SAM: Wow!
+
+LAURA: Hold on. I think there’s a blackberry one
+somewhere in here.
+
+SAM: Ooh, I can’t tell what this used to be.
+
+LAURA: It’s kind of gross; I’m sorry.
+
+SAM: Is that the top or the bottom?
+
+LAURA: I can’t tell anymore. It’s all black.
+Sorry!
+
+SAM: I have two tarts!
+
+MATT: Yes. Very stale.
+
+SAM: I’m taking them.
+
+MATT: You can’t tell if the sour smell is
+intentional flavor or just time taking its toll.
+
+It’ll be tart one way or the other.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we see any crownsguard around? In the
+street.
+
+MATT: Over time you will. They’re scattered a bit
+thin and a lot of them are currently focused on
+
+either perimeter watch, in case they come back, or
+helping out those that need help inside the city.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d just like to find one, if I could.
+
+MATT: Within ten minutes of wandering through the
+city as you guys have gathered yourselves and
+
+begun heading towards the eastern side, you see a
+crownsguard who is currently walking by with some
+
+washrags under one arm and a little streak of
+dried blood down the side of their face. Looks to
+
+be a young man probably in his mid-20s or so.
+Longish hair that’s been heavily braided on the
+
+sides and then pinned to the back in a tuft of a
+ponytail.
+
+TRAVIS: Howdy!
+
+MATT: “Yes?”
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry to bother, but we’ve been
+commissioned by Bryce to make a little expedition
+
+to go after those gnolls and we’re going to need
+an extra steed if the Crownsguard has one.
+
+MATT: “We’re not allowed to give out any
+Crownsguard supplies. If you’re looking for a
+
+"steed, you’d probably have to go to the On the Wind
+Stables. They’re going to be your best bet.”
+
+TRAVIS: Where would those be?
+
+MATT: “Right–” and points over towards the
+northern side of the town. It’s one of the
+
+buildings that’s taken a little bit of fire
+damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you concerned about the people that
+live in this town? Clock’s ticking on their lives
+
+and you want me to go get a steed from another
+stable instead of saving their lives?
+
+MATT: “It’s not–”
+
+TRAVIS: I sure would hate to have to report this
+to Bryce. I think they’d be pretty upset about it.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: “Look, I mean no offense whatsoever and if–
+I can go find Bryce and see if we– the
+
+"Watchmaster would be much more suited to–”
+
+TRAVIS: Your name?
+
+MATT: “Reggie.”
+
+TRAVIS: Reggie. I’m disappointed, Reggie. I don’t
+know what else to say. Let’s go.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Should we go to the stables then?
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck yeah. Now!
+
+LIAM: Reggie, this town has been hit hard, you
+look very weary and maybe a little down on your
+
+luck yourself. Maybe I’m just reading into things,
+but I would gladly pay you a silver for this horse.
+
+TALIESIN: Let me tell you, Reggie, it would be the
+best deal you could possibly make. I’m going to
+
+use Charm Person.
+
+MATT: Did not make that DC check. Reggie glances
+over at you. He goes, “Let me see what I can do,”
+
+and quickly makes his way northward to the outside
+of the stables.
+
+TRAVIS: Very nice!
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you!
+
+MATT: About five minutes pass and you can hear the
+clopping of hooves as Reggie comes back with a
+
+very obstinate beast on the reins. Dragging it
+towards you, slowly guiding it. Reggie doesn’t
+
+seem to be a very trained individual when it comes
+to handling creatures, especially beasts of
+
+burden. “Will this do?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh good, I see you brought us your best,
+Reggie. Thanks, man.
+
+TALIESIN: Ignore her, she’s very difficult.
+
+MATT: Hands you the reins.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re a hero. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Best I could do. Good luck.”
+
+LIAM: Here’s that copper. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I hand him a silver also.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. Thank you.”
+
+LIAM: Silver’s way too little for a horse.
+
+TALIESIN: You said silver and we’re being fair!
+
+MATT: “Just bring it back– it’s on loan! It’s on
+loan.”
+
+TALIESIN: If we come back, it comes back.
+
+LAURA: Probably. We definitely won’t use it as
+bait for the gnolls. Okay, bye!
+
+TRAVIS: We make our way over to where we left our
+other horse and cart.
+
+MATT: Okay, easy enough to find. You placed it at
+a hitching post with a little bit of feed over the
+
+evening. Your cart and horse are safe and at your
+disposal.
+
+MARISHA: I saw them take off into the forest. I
+tracked a little bit right between those trees. I
+
+don’t know, we can start there.
+
+LAURA: I bet they left a lot of tracks and
+probably some cart things.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know why, I thought you were going
+to say they left behind poop.
+
+LAURA: They probably did! Oh my god! They weren’t
+wearing any underwear, were they?
+
+MATT: They were wearing cobbled-together or
+scavenged bits of leather and hide armors.
+
+LAURA: But did it have holes for their butts?
+
+MATT: It seemed like most of them would have had
+some means of disposing of their excrement.
+
+LIAM: They don’t care, they’re swinging low and
+leaving it behind.
+
+MATT: They weren’t very well-dressed.
+
+TRAVIS: If that’s the direction you saw them head
+off in, check it out.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll be on the lookout for cart tracks.
+
+LIAM: As we go, and also, we didn’t have time, so
+here, off you go. I will sit in the cart and go blind.
+
+MATT: Okay. While you are sending Frumpkin to
+keep a watch, you are keeping an eye out
+
+for tracks. Make a survival check, please.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not my strongest, but it’s okay.
+
+LAURA: I’m keeping an eye out for poop.
+
+MARISHA: 16. No wait! I rolled a natural 16, so
+19! I thought it was a 13; I apologize.
+
+MATT: Very quickly you come upon a number of gnoll
+footprints in the ground. Seem to be multiple cart
+
+tracks. That was the one that you saw.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Oh no!
+
+MARISHA: Wait, are there nearby towns? Are there
+other nearby villages?
+
+MATT: There were multiple carts.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, we only saw one.
+
+LIAM: The last one.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, can I get like an odd estimate of
+maybe how many gnolls we might be dealing with
+
+based on the amount of tracks?
+
+MATT: With that roll, I’d say you surmise
+somewhere in the neighborhood of about 18 or so
+
+gnolls. From what you can gather on the tracks
+that you found.
+
+TALIESIN: Would my Hunter’s Bane be useful for
+that? For tracking these creatures?
+
+MATT: You can attempt to glean information.
+
+TALIESIN: Since they technically have some undead
+around them?
+
+MATT: For the specific– sure. Go ahead and make a
+survival check to see if you can even find those tracks.
+
+TALIESIN: Just a standard one? Standard survival
+check. All right.
+
+MATT: Well, technically you’re tracking undead, so
+you get advantage on this one.
+
+TALIESIN: 17.
+
+MATT: Same degree. You find the tracks, you see
+there is the remnants of this gnoll horde
+
+returning towards a similar direction. You find
+three sets of cart tracks.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to the rest of the group and I go:
+Good news, we’re real stupid if we thought we
+
+couldn’t track them, because there’s a fuckton of
+them. That’ll be easy. Bad news is, oh god,
+
+there’s a fuckton of them. That’s it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that is bad news. Are the carts all
+heading in the same direction or would they split up?
+
+MATT: They all converge into one path. They head
+through the relatively thin woods that surround
+
+the northeastern side of Alfield. As you progress
+on that path out to the other side of the woods,
+
+continue into the northeastern fields where the
+rolling hills begin, these hills seem to go on for miles.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin would be in the air 300-400 feet in
+front of the cart and I wouldn’t do 100% of the
+
+time, but I would talk for three minutes and then maybe
+go: hold on one sec (magic sound effect) and then
+
+come back. So intermittent.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Tall grass on these rolling hills?
+
+MARISHA: Or is it just open fucking hills?
+
+TRAVIS: Picked by beasts or–
+
+MATT: No, no. It’s tall grass across the hills–
+
+LIAM: Seven.
+
+MATT: The grass can vary anywhere from knee-high
+to chest-high in places. The hills towards the
+
+top can get a little more rocky. There are patches
+where the grass doesn’t grow as well and there’s
+
+open dirt and broken shale. After about an hour or
+so of tracking in that direction, you come upon the
+
+Rillway Road, which is the main road that heads up
+towards Felderwin. You can see it a little ways off.
+
+LIAM: Also, in this time I would have told the
+rest of the group: Before Nott and I arrived in
+
+Trostenwald, just outside the city limits, we were
+waylaid by gnolls previously and they were hiding
+
+in grass just like this. It was very much like
+this so we should be– I’m getting very nervous
+
+right now looking at it all.
+
+TALIESIN: In theory, am I actively tracking these
+creatures? The undead at least.
+
+MATT: The undead tracks are falling in line with
+her tracking. They’re moving as a group, but there
+
+are far less undead tracks than there are regular
+gnolls, so as best you can to keep tabs on it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m curious how much of this Hunter’s
+Bane I can actually be using right now.
+
+MATT: You’d be leading if she hadn’t made an
+equally good roll, so now both of you are leading this.
+
+TRAVIS: The grass, is it dead or vibrant
+green?
+
+MATT: Vibrant green, for the most part. The wind
+is picking up a little bit and you can see,
+
+especially when you start coming up over some of
+the bigger hills, you can see the waves cresting over
+
+the hillside and causing the shift of it. It’s a
+very beautiful space.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it still the morning hour or about
+midday?
+
+MATT: At this point now, you’ve been travelling,
+we’ll say an hour and a half. It’s getting close
+
+to noon.
+
+TRAVIS: High noon?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: You know, I know it’s actually about 11:37,
+so we’re not quite there yet. By the position of
+
+the sun.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no! Don’t do it! Oh no!
+
+(nervous laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: He’s sorry!
+
+TRAVIS: It was right there!
+
+MATT: I know. Anyway.
+
+LIAM: Beholder!
+
+MATT: Don’t think I’m not tempted.
+
+MARISHA: How rough and how open is our situation
+right now? Are we in the middle of an open field?
+
+MATT: You’re pretty much in the middle of an open
+field. But the tracks you can see– Because you
+
+can see the Rillway Road south of you and the
+tracks begin to shift further north. As they were
+
+heading back, they were keeping off the road best
+they can as well. You also do notice that within
+
+the tracks you do find bits of grass that are
+spattered with drying blood. You don’t know how
+
+fresh it is. Go ahead and make a perception
+check.
+
+MARISHA: Remember how I was like, this is the
+worst situation to be in?
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like this might be the worst
+situation to be in.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+MARISHA: Survival?
+
+MATT: Perception.
+
+MARISHA: Perception? Oh no. Did you see that?
+
+LAURA: It’s a one?
+
+MARISHA: One.
+
+MATT: As you’re having this conversation with
+Fjord, you’re just not paying attention to the
+
+road in front of you.
+
+MARISHA: God.
+
+LAURA: If we’re sitting in the cart, is the grass
+taller than us or is it way lower than us?
+
+MATT: No, it’s about as tall as the cart at times,
+at times it’s lower. You guys do stand out amongst
+
+the grass. As you head over the hills, or down
+below, you are above the grass line without an issue.
+
+LIAM: Walking on the ground as a human, is it up
+to here, or–
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s about up to your chest at times.
+Waist to chest. It varies.
+
+LAURA: If I stand up in the cart as we go, can I
+see out into the grass?
+
+MATT: Yeah, if you wanted.
+
+MARISHA: What if I gave Jester a ride on my
+shoulders? While we walked.
+
+SAM: On a moving cart?
+
+MATT: What could possibly go wrong?
+
+LIAM: You’ve seen Teen Wolf, ja?
+
+MARISHA: In the cart, and I’m holding you. It’d be
+kind of cool!
+
+MATT: I’ll allow it. Go ahead and make a
+perception check, Jester.
+
+LIAM: Here goes all Jester’s teeth.
+
+LAURA: 19!
+
+MATT: Make a strength check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Like a saving throw or just a
+check?
+
+MATT: Just a check.
+
+LIAM: Come on, roll a 20. Make it happen.
+
+MARISHA: That’s okay. It’s a 14.
+
+MATT: Right as your eyes catch something, you drop
+for a second, but Beau’s beneath you (groans) just
+
+barely holding you, the elbows start to buckle a
+bit, but rallies and (groans) holds you up above.
+
+You flatten your back out and give a graceful pose
+as you look ahead.
+
+LAURA: I’m flying! I’m flying, Jack!
+
+MARISHA: (strained) Yeah, you are!
+
+TRAVIS: King of the world!
+
+MATT: As you guys are coming up over a hill, you
+get a good view down, and you can see between the
+
+tall grass and the high weeds that are beginning
+to cluster this vicinity, there is a series of
+
+large hills that all break down into this valley
+where the grass just ends in this area. It looks
+
+like it’s barren rock and dirt. You notice, with
+that perception check, a few carts, a few broken
+
+boxes, some tables or contraptions. There’s some
+semblance of civilization here amongst these hills
+
+off the road.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) There’s carts! I see the carts! I
+jump up and down in her hands.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god– (grunts)
+
+SAM: Are there people in the carts?
+
+MATT: She drops you.
+
+LAURA: Oh, are there people in the carts? Can I
+see?
+
+MATT: They appear to be empty.
+
+LAURA: They’re empty!
+
+SAM: Abandoned?
+
+LAURA: Maybe.
+
+SAM: I’m going to start drinking.
+
+MARISHA: Jester, I’m going to put you down.
+
+MATT: Okay. How much do you drink?
+
+SAM: I’m going to take three big swigs.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to know.
+
+LIAM: I would like to use Frumpkin to do a
+once-around from above to see if any of those
+
+beasts are on the horizon anywhere for us to kill,
+and also if there are any survivors or anything here.
+
+MATT: Perception check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: That is a 13.
+
+MATT: 13, good to know.
+
+LAURA: Should we pull the cart over and sneak up?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. By foot is how we should proceed.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Let’s pull the cart over and hide it
+in the grass.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I help Jester hide the cart.
+
+LAURA: Oh, but our horses. What if they get
+eaten?
+
+SAM: (nervous) It’s all right. It’s fine. We don’t
+care about the horses. Let’s just save ourselves.
+
+Who cares about the horses?
+
+LAURA: But how are we going to get all the people
+back if we don’t have horses to pull the cart?
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: From 100 feet up, I can see through
+Frumpkin’s eyes all of us being a bunch of dumb
+
+fucks in the back of the cart.
+
+MATT: It’s true.
+
+SAM: Should we leave someone back to protect the
+horses?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Seems a waste.
+
+TRAVIS: Would you want to be the one person that
+got attacked with the horses by yourself?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I didn’t think so. We stick
+together.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll be part of the Fjord
+expedition.
+
+(laughter and groaning)
+
+LIAM: The crew! The crew groaned!
+
+LAURA: I heard a groan.
+
+SAM: That wasn’t a groan, that was like– ugh.
+
+LIAM: Disgust?
+
+TALIESIN: That was nausea!
+
+MATT: I feel like I passed a stone.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Now I’m ready to die.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right, what’s the plan, guys?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to– does anybody have to
+sneeze?
+
+TRAVIS and SAM: What?
+
+LAURA: Anybody feel like they need to–
+
+TALIESIN: Should we?
+
+SAM: Sneeze? What? Why–
+
+TRAVIS: That would give away our stealthy
+approach.
+
+SAM: Oh. I see.
+
+LAURA: Because… Bless you! I give you Blessing of
+the Trickster.
+
+TRAVIS: Holy shit.
+
+LIAM: I was waiting for the punchline.
+
+TALIESIN: What does Blessing of the Trickster do?
+
+LAURA: You have advantage on stealth.
+
+TALIESIN: I have advantage on “smealth,” that’s
+great.
+
+MATT: “Smealth.”
+
+TALIESIN: On “smealth.” He who “smealth” it.
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm. All right, what are you guys doing
+with the cart and the horses?
+
+LAURA: We’re hiding it in the tall grass.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: No rocks around, right? No stones or
+boulders in the field?
+
+MATT: Not that big. The hills themselves are–
+it’s just large rolling hills in this whole valley area.
+
+TRAVIS: I was trying to get it in the depression
+of a rolling hill and just–
+
+MATT: Okay. You have to back up a bit to get it
+out of view.
+
+LIAM: I’d like to point out that we came up with a
+loose plan, but we’re not doing that plan.
+
+LAURA: What was our loose plan? We didn’t see any
+of them?
+
+TRAVIS: We haven’t seen anything yet.
+
+MARISHA: We’re not in any tree line or anything.
+
+LIAM: Also, in a pinch, we could kill the horses.
+
+TRAVIS: Kill the horses? Oh, to use as– that’s
+right, we could.
+
+LAURA: But we won’t be able to pull the cart. I’m
+really strong, but I don’t know if I can carry
+
+that many people.
+
+SAM: She’s lying, she’s not really strong.
+
+LAURA: I am really strong, though.
+
+SAM: Really?
+
+TALIESIN: We wouldn’t have to kill the horse, we
+could just send the horse–
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s find out what we see first, and then
+we’ll decide.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure. Recon.
+
+LAURA: That’s not normally how you test strength.
+
+SAM: I don’t know, I’m not strong.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s flank. Around.
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody fan out in a firing line, just
+one straight line–
+
+SAM: We’re going away from each other?
+
+TRAVIS: Just within eye distance, right? But keep
+a line.
+
+TALIESIN: Answered my question. I was curious what
+flanking was.
+
+TRAVIS: Keep in line. We’re going to move towards
+the cart. We’re going to use the tall grass.
+
+LAURA: Towards the three carts?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Do we need to have some sort of awesome
+whistle or something? To communicate with each other?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m open to it, if you have any.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, what was that thing you did in the
+circus? That was cool.
+
+(whistling)
+
+LIAM: (spitting noise) I can’t do that.
+
+(various whistling noises)
+
+LIAM: How about we don’t make any noise at all,
+but we just sneak in?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s do that.
+
+MATT: Having placed the cart where what you assume
+is the best you can hide it, who is helming the
+
+hiding of the cart?
+
+LAURA: Me!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a survival check.
+
+LIAM: I will also help with that.
+
+MATT: All right. If you’re aiding, then do it with
+advantage.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Lift with the legs!
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. I mean, sure.
+
+LAURA: I get some grass and I put it on the cart.
+
+SAM: Put your alarm around the cart! You do it all
+the time!
+
+LIAM: Do we have the time for that right now?
+
+SAM: How long does it take to cast?
+
+LIAM: Right now, it will take me 11 minutes to do
+that.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, do it, do it!
+
+TRAVIS: People’s lives. Urgency. Clock. Time. All
+that stuff.
+
+LAURA: Ten minutes. Okay.
+
+SAM: All right, let’s just go.
+
+MATT: What is the marching order?
+
+LIAM: We’re coming in as a line together.
+
+MATT: All right. What’s the order of the line,
+then?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re all even moving forward.
+
+LAURA: But what is the order of the line?
+
+SAM: I’m to the left of Caleb there on the end.
+
+LIAM: I don’t want to be on an end. I don’t want
+you to be on the end.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t mind being on an end. How about
+that?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I imagine that the ends are going
+to be where you need the most strength, right?
+
+LIAM: I would grab Nott by the shoulder and pull
+us into the middle somehow.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to be in the middle?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+SAM: Let’s walk with Molly. There. Boom. Got it.
+
+MARISHA: Great.
+
+MATT: All right. We have: Molly, Nott, Caleb,
+Jester, Beau, then Fjord. Okay. I would like you
+
+all to make a stealth check, please. As you make
+your way through the grass.
+
+TALIESIN: That helps.
+
+SAM: 21.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+LIAM: 12.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+LAURA: Ten.
+
+LIAM: Those monster calves.
+
+MATT: As you guys stay low to the grass, pushing
+through with your hands carefully as you go,
+
+hearing the wind occasionally rise and fall with a
+distant (shh), the various waves of grass beating
+
+against itself, you come upon where the grass
+begins to fall off. You stay low as best you can
+
+before the grass itself comes to an end right on
+the outskirts of where the central area between
+
+these hills begins. There, as you poke your head
+through, you can see three carts that are
+
+scattered a bit amongst a mineshaft yard. The
+exterior of a mine. You can see large, wooden pan
+
+tables; some pickaxes that are leaning against the
+side, the remnants of some lanterns that have
+
+rusted. There are the three carts. The carts
+themselves are spattered with blood. You notice
+
+three creatures, similar to the gnolls that you
+saw the night before, but smaller and dog-like.
+
+These are just basic hyenas that are gathered
+around and are licking the blood that’s soaked
+
+into the wood. One of them ends up finding a piece
+of meat, or something that was hanging from one
+
+side, and tears it off. Another one comes over
+(whines) and bites onto it, and they begin tearing
+
+and fighting over it before one of them pushes the
+other over and it (yelps). It goes back and begins
+
+licking the blood off the side of the wood. These
+three hyenas are just scavenging on the outskirt
+
+of these carts.
+
+SAM: They’re just hyenas? They’re not magical,
+undead hyenas?
+
+MATT: Not from what you can tell.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we see how many entrances there are to
+this mine yard?
+
+MATT: From this distance, you can’t see any
+entrances.
+
+MARISHA: Do you think they’re centurions?
+
+LIAM: I think they’re going to make a big fucking
+stink if we–
+
+MARISHA: If they see us? I’ll bet they’re the alert
+system.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) We should kill them!
+
+MARISHA: But we have to kill them all at once.
+
+LIAM: That is correct.
+
+TRAVIS: I could make a distraction. Nott, Beau,
+are y'all fast, quick, and quiet?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Who else?
+
+SAM: No, just us.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m quietish.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s three of them, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+MARISHA: You want to try and make a distraction
+and bring them closer? To us? Then we can jump out
+
+of the grass? Do the old “jump out of the
+grass–”
+
+TRAVIS: About how far from the edge of the grass,
+where we are, to them?
+
+MATT: About 50 or so feet. 60 feet.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use Minor Illusion to create a plump
+little bunny and have it hop out of the grass? But
+
+its front leg looks a little lame.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, buddy.
+
+MATT: Quietly, this plump, wounded, with a hint of
+pink to the fur around the arm where it looks like
+
+it may have been bleeding a bit, begins to hobble
+its way silently out of the grass, just beyond the edge.
+
+SAM: I’m going to hide.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’m going to hide.
+
+MATT: You guys are still hidden.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to draw one of my swords and,
+just out of experiment, try and get it to do that
+
+weird thing it did yesterday. With my hand.
+
+MATT: You initiate the Rite, and as you do, the
+blade begins to give a faint, radiant glow, a
+
+whitish-yellow light that you will almost
+instinctually hold low in the grass to make sure
+
+you don’t become a beacon amongst your hiding. You
+watch as one of the hyenas (sniffing) and begins
+
+making its way. The others look over (snarl)–
+they begin to gather up, and the three almost go
+
+into this pack swoop formation in the direction of
+the rabbit, closing in. 40 feet, 30 feet, 20 feet.
+
+With a rapid bolt, one of them runs forward and
+leaps out towards the rabbit and skids into the
+
+dirt past it, right to the front of the grassline
+where you are, Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Now!
+
+MARISHA: (slamming)
+
+LAURA: I use Sacred Flame on the one next it.
+
+MATT: Okay, and who is doing what else?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to stab the third one.
+
+MATT: The three of you rush out and attack, three
+individual ones. What are you guys doing?
+
+LIAM: I will send Frumpkin down to the one that
+Jester’s attacking, right up against it to
+
+distract and chirp in its face.
+
+MATT: All right. Beau, go ahead and attack first.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take the blunt end of the
+staff and go right for it as it skids by, I’m
+
+going to take right in its neck. Ooh, not great.
+Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? You go to swing, and as it sees you
+suddenly, it backs away, and your staff hits the
+
+dirt right next to it. (snarls) It just barely
+misses it. Caleb, you following up?
+
+LIAM: Caleb sends Frumpkin right down to the
+one that Jester was attacking and I will send out
+
+a Fire Bolt at the same time.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Roll your attack roll for the
+Fire Bolt.
+
+LIAM: That’s at advantage if my birdie is
+bothering him up close.
+
+MATT: Right. Okay. Wait, you’re going for the one
+that Jester is attacking?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the one that Jester is attacking.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go for it.
+
+LIAM: That is– oh, that’s good. That is 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LIAM: These spells are all still new to me. Oh, that’s a
+big one.
+
+MATT: One point of damage.
+
+LIAM: Big one point of damage.
+
+MATT: It begins to burn this small circular image
+on the hyena’s body. (yelping)
+
+Go ahead and–
+
+LAURA: It just has to make a dex save of over 13.
+
+MATT: With a natural one, he does not.
+
+LAURA: Yay. Then he gets four more damage,
+radiant.
+
+MATT: That’s enough. With the blast of the Fire
+Bolt, and the incineration of the Sacred Flame,
+
+you watch as that hyena bursts into fire and flops
+to the ground while it burns, smouldering, its
+
+flesh becoming the meals it had previously feasted
+upon. Molly and Nott?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take my run first? That’s a– wow.
+17. My brain.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s seven points, plus three radiant.
+
+MATT: The first strike just completely cleaves it
+in half, like its momentum, running, almost like
+
+it hits the blade, and you hold it out and the
+momentum just carries it over, seamlessly carving
+
+through it.
+
+TALIESIN: Am I close enough to hit the third one
+that’s still left with my second attack?
+
+MATT: You can have movement to close it. There’s
+one right in front of Beau, so you’re a little
+
+ways away, but you can close the gap, while Nott
+and–
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t get my bonus attack on that guy.
+Can I get my bonus attack?
+
+MATT: Yep!
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I want to try and bring my heel
+down on top of it as it tries to scooch away.
+
+Fucking– did you see that?
+
+TRAVIS: I did.
+
+LIAM: Yep. 17 to a three.
+
+LAURA: You need to not use that dice for the rest
+of the night.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine, again!
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Nein!
+
+MATT: At first it hits the dirt, and it backs up.
+You move out with your heel to go ahead and swing,
+
+and it actually ducks underneath and tries to snap
+at your heel, as Molly closes the gap, and–
+
+TRAVIS: Would you like to go?
+
+SAM: I release my bolt at that same one.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll damage. With
+sneak attack.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Molly, as you rush up, you watch as a
+bolt just goes right through the side of the
+
+hyena’s head, and it just falls lifeless to the
+ground. All three of them out in a split second.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t want to, like, make y'all alarmed
+or anything, but that was kind of fucking efficient.
+
+LAURA: Everybody but Beau, you were missing like
+crazy on that one.
+
+MARISHA: You know, I had a long day yesterday,
+okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Hands are sweaty?
+
+MARISHA: Just was faster than I thought.
+
+LAURA: Hey, look! We can use this hyena meat as
+bait!
+
+TRAVIS: You’re right.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go pull my bolt out of the
+thing. Is it recoverable?
+
+TALIESIN: Good shot.
+
+MATT: Yeah, thankfully it was a clean enough shot,
+didn’t seem to get caught or shatter against any
+
+of the bones.
+
+TRAVIS: Quick perimeter check to see if we alerted
+anything, anything’s looking at us.
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 19.
+
+MATT: Glancing about the vicinity, does not look
+like anything else is moving or near or has
+
+noticed your presence.
+
+TRAVIS: Move to the cart, quick check of anything
+left behind, clues.
+
+SAM: Do we need to drag these bodies?
+
+TRAVIS: There’s no bodies, just blood spatter.
+
+MARISHA: Do you mean the hyenas?
+
+SAM: The hyenas.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. We’ve got to figure out where we’re
+going first.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m also going to point out, they hadn’t
+been eating the hyenas anyway, so maybe leaving
+
+bodies of their pets is not the greatest idea?
+
+LAURA: Toss them into the grass, then, to get them
+out of view?
+
+TALIESIN: That might be a smarter way to go.
+
+TRAVIS: Do it.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll pick them up and throw them as
+far as I can into the grass.
+
+MATT: Okay. Like a massive shotput, you watch as
+tiny Jester, with a double spin each, chucks these
+
+relatively heavy beasts deep into the grass field,
+where they vanish with a heavy thud into the field.
+
+LIAM: She’s like Miss Trunchbull from Matilda.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re a lot stronger than you look.
+
+LAURA: Thank you! Hey, what happened to the little
+bunny, though? I’m going to look for the little
+
+white rabbit.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh dear.
+
+MATT: Bunny appears to no longer be around.
+
+LAURA: That’s really sad, they ate it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, boy, sure did.
+
+SAM: We’ll have a funeral later.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to keep a hold of my sword,
+but I’m going to wrap it in the coat so it’s not
+
+glowing ridiculously.
+
+LIAM: There’s just the carts, there’s the one mine
+entrance?
+
+MATT: You don’t see an entrance to the mine, you
+just see mining equipment.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, mining. I misunderstood that, too.
+
+MATT: You see pieces of equipment, and the
+interior of this hill valley, this short little
+
+valley, seems to have been prepped for some sort
+of mining expedition.
+
+SAM: There’s no mine hole?
+
+MATT: You don’t see one at the moment.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take a look around to see if there’s
+anything, where they started or anything like that?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the opposite side that he’s
+doing.
+
+SAM: I’m going to look in the carts.
+
+MATT: Okay. You look in the carts, and they are
+empty. You see a few wayward pieces of cloth,
+
+everything in there is bloodied and caked, and has
+streaks of it being licked up. It looks like the
+
+hyenas had been at it for a while, trying to clear
+off what was left behind from wherever the bodies
+
+that were within were taken. I would like you both
+to make investigation checks, please. And you’re
+
+following the tracks?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: Make a survival check.
+
+TALIESIN: With advantage?
+
+MATT: Because there are undead as a part of this,
+I will let you.
+
+TALIESIN: Survival check.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: 14.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MATT: It looks like the dust and the dirt in this
+vicinity has been freshly swept or dispersed
+
+intentionally, meaning that once this little
+valley had been entered, and the carts had been
+
+emptied, something was smart enough to
+intentionally cover their tracks. You, however–
+
+you rolled a 20, you said? As you begin to look
+about the base of the closest hill, facing away
+
+from where you guys had entered, in an eastern
+direction, you see a pattern of grasses that seem
+
+to be interwoven, as opposed to a natural pattern,
+there is a consistent mesh to the way they’ve been laid.
+
+SAM: It’s a comb-over.
+
+LAURA: It looks like how we put the stuff over the
+cart.
+
+MATT: As you glance over, you can see a net of
+grasses that has been woven and thrown over,
+
+leaving a small gap on the edge, where you can see
+the dark exterior of what was a mine shaft
+
+structure entrance.
+
+LAURA: That’s way smarter that what we did.
+
+MARISHA: A ghillie net.
+
+LIAM: But we’ll remember it for the future.
+
+TALIESIN: Yours was hand-crafted.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we just take this one?
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I was going to say, is it
+heavy? How big is this thing? Can we fold it up
+
+and stuff it in a bag?
+
+MATT: It’s about 12 foot by 12 foot.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s big.
+
+LAURA: It could fit in a backpack. Maybe roll up.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty thick.
+
+SAM: It’s got sticks.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s thrown on and put against the
+grass, it doesn’t have sticks in its sides.
+
+SAM: Does it have a frame of any sort?
+
+MATT: No, it’s laid on the side of the hill.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s a blanket! Oh, okay. We can take
+that.
+
+MARISHA: We can grab it on our way back and throw
+it on the cart.
+
+LAURA: Throw it on the cart as we’re leaving.
+
+TALIESIN: I miss being low enough level that we
+just take everything we find, no matter how useful.
+
+LAURA: Like in Skyrim, just wheels of cheese. All
+the cheese.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to be cracking open clay
+pots.
+
+MATT: The scavenger levels, man. All righty. It is
+too big for you to carry with you, but it can
+
+definitely be taken with you should you exit.
+
+LIAM: How about what’s behind the grass, let’s
+discuss this instead.
+
+MATT: All right. As you pull it back, you do see
+the wooden support structure of the interior of a
+
+mine shaft. As soon as you pull it back and look
+inside, it looks like a barricade has been
+
+partially placed up on each side. You see piles of
+broken furniture, stools and chairs that are
+
+shattered and jammed into each other to form some
+sort of a barricade on each side. You can see
+
+dry-rotted pickaxe handles, and other pieces of
+general wooden beams used for construction that
+
+are all pushed up against the sides, with a small
+path, maybe about three feet wide, that you could
+
+walk through to enter. It looks pitch black on the
+inside. There is no light source outside of what
+
+little bit of daylight is coming through from the
+entrance.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, I was thinking about a thing you were
+saying, there is a way through for us?
+
+MATT: There is a way, there’s about a two, three
+foot gap between this barricade where it made its
+
+way in, and once you enter through, you can now
+see, since there has not been dust put, there is a
+
+definitive trail of blood that has dragged through
+and caked in the loose dirt and dust.
+
+TALIESIN: Should I give it a little light, or no?
+
+SAM: Wait, before we go in–
+
+TRAVIS: You’re anxious to go. You want to go
+first?
+
+SAM: No! Jesus, no. No, please. There were hyenas
+out here, right, posted as guards? If one of the
+
+hyenas had gone (hyena howl), would something have
+come out of this hole to come get us?
+
+LIAM: I mean, that is a fair assumption, yeah.
+
+SAM: Then why don’t we make that sound, and wait
+for something to come out, and kill it.
+
+LAURA: Well, but what if it alerts a lot of the
+gnolls, and then we don’t have the element of
+
+surprise at all anymore?
+
+LIAM: Well, we’re talking–
+
+SAM: You want to go into that dark, scary cave?
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t look that bad to me.
+
+SAM: It is a dark, scary cave!
+
+TRAVIS: Frumpkin is still just a sweet little
+bird, so I thought maybe a little quick flight in–
+
+MARISHA: Canary in a gnoll mine!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh! Oh, smash!
+
+LIAM: Jesus.
+
+MARISHA: We have to do it, it’s too perfect.
+
+TRAVIS: Canary in a gnoll mine.
+
+LIAM: That was good.
+
+TALIESIN: That was so painful.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+LIAM: Do not be sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s limits.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if that’s something Frumpkin
+can do, unless, Nott, you just wanna go in there
+
+and go kamikaze.
+
+SAM: No! I’m drinking again.
+
+MATT: Okay. You are now officially intoxicated.
+
+SAM: I don’t have to roll, it just happens?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: Great.
+
+MATT: For the next hour.
+
+LAURA: What does that mean?
+
+SAM: I’ll go in if you need me to.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, yes!
+
+TALIESIN: No! Oh, wow!
+
+LAURA: Is that where “the Brave” comes from?
+
+MARISHA: That was going to be my question!
+
+TRAVIS: We get her hammered, and she’s the most
+fucking badass.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, this is awesome.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin has been a sparrow before. Sparrows
+don’t have darkvision, do they?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+SAM: It’s a night sparrow, he should have said.
+
+LIAM: No, it is a regular sparrow.
+
+TRAVIS: My only concern is if we draw them out,
+there could be more than us, right? I just want to
+
+get a quick peek, if we can.
+
+LIAM: Well, I mean, I can send him in there, he’ll
+probably hit the wall a few times, but if there’s
+
+any fire or anything–
+
+TRAVIS: You wouldn’t mind?
+
+LIAM: No, you know, I can always bring him back,
+but be careful, all right? But there he goes.
+
+MATT: Yeah, there’s no light in there. About 25
+feet in, go ahead and make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you won’t be able to see anything
+through it.
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+MATT: 21. What faint light is coming in from the
+interior– are you looking through?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I am.
+
+MATT: Yeah. As soon as you come inside, about 40
+feet in, the shaft widens into a common area. You
+
+see a handful of tables, some chairs, similar to
+what was placed within the barricade, some sacks
+
+strewn about, some torn open and scattered across
+the ground, some that are still lobbed in the corner.
+
+LIAM: Is that from a light source inside, or from
+sunlight coming in?
+
+MATT: This is just a very high perception roll
+with what little light is making its way in there.
+
+And that’s where it goes dark, and there’s a
+(thud) as Frumpkin hits a sloping ceiling.
+
+MARISHA: And dies?
+
+MATT: No, just hits the ground.
+
+LIAM: Please, no!
+
+MATT: Hits the ground, stunned.
+
+LAURA: It’s like those birds that hit our windows
+at home.
+
+MARISHA: That’s right, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, I think I have seen all I am
+going to see for the moment, but I didn’t see
+
+anything in there.
+
+MATT: Not in that main area.
+
+LIAM: Nothing living in there that I saw?
+
+MATT: Not with what little bit Frumpkin saw with a
+quick glance before it got too dark and then he
+
+hit the ceiling.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Nott, my friend, I think maybe this is
+a time where you could– please don’t go crazy,
+
+but maybe go in 30 or 40 feet, there’s a room in
+there, and I don’t think there’s anything in
+
+there, but you would see.
+
+SAM: (drunkenly) I’m just going to go in there and
+get the gnolls.
+
+LAURA: I’m gonna bless you before you go. So you
+can be sneakier.
+
+SAM: Great.
+
+TRAVIS: Consonants are gone!
+
+SAM: Can sparrows hear?
+
+LIAM: I can hear through my sparrow.
+
+SAM: I could bring the sparrow, you could at least
+hear what’s going on, like a walkie talkie.
+
+MARISHA: Like a walkie talkie!
+
+LIAM: That’s correct. Richtig. Go.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ll take the sparrow, jam it in
+there.
+
+LIAM: Wait, I don’t want to get punched in the
+face while I’m blind. Somebody please put a hand
+
+on my shoulder–
+
+SAM: Oh, you got to hold his hand.
+
+LAURA: Are we going in?
+
+SAM: No, he’s going to go into that other place.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+LIAM: If something bad is going to happen, just
+shake me.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll punch you in the face.
+
+LIAM: No, don’t do that, just shake me.
+
+LAURA: Just tickle his balls.
+
+LIAM: Don’t do that, just–
+
+SAM: I’m going to go in.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Punch him in the balls.
+
+MATT: You move past the barricades, heading
+towards the shaft– the barricade, there’s a lot
+
+of stuff jammed up here at the front, almost like
+it was barricaded from the inside long ago, and
+
+then was cleared out partially, going through. You
+make it through the 35 or so feet of the shaft, in
+
+towards where it opens up, and you almost trip,
+because your toe catches something, and you catch
+
+yourself, and you look down to see a long piece of
+rope that was stretched across that just got
+
+tugged, and falls slack.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, you didn’t see that?
+
+MATT: You hear a (creak) and with your darkvision
+glance up and see what appears to be a large log
+
+that had been affixed to the ceiling. (whoosh)
+Comes rushing towards you. Make a dexterity saving throw.
+
+LIAM: You are a wee baby rogue!
+
+SAM: Great check! Disadvantage. Great check!
+
+LAURA: Good! Phew!
+
+SAM: What is this, dex save?
+
+MATT: Dex saving throw, yeah.
+
+SAM: 24!
+
+MATT: With disadvantage! You, even in your
+somewhat hazy drunken stupor, see it just in time
+
+and back up as it (whoosh) right past your nose
+and slams into the wall to the left of you. It
+
+hits, and you see the dust settle from the
+ceiling.
+
+TRAVIS: That, my lads, was a dragon.
+
+MATT: You guys all hear this (slamming) from the
+inside.
+
+LIAM: Oh shit.
+
+SAM: I’m okay, it was just wood.
+
+MARISHA: What’s going on?
+
+LIAM: I’ve heard a confusing thing. Something fell
+down, but okay, we’re good.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we might have lost the element
+of surprise.
+
+SAM: Is it a bigger space in here?
+
+MATT: It is, actually. It opens up to be about 35
+feet across from side to side, about 45 or 50
+
+towards the end and then it seems to descend into
+two different pathways.
+
+SAM: Any signs of life? Anything?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: At the moment, no. But as you’re glancing
+about, you can see that there are bags of supplies
+
+that are partially sundered and torn open. You can
+see tools, some that look pretty interesting,
+
+there’s a crowbar on the ground across the way,
+there’s other sacks that haven’t been spoiled yet.
+
+You see some of the burlap is dry rotted and pulls
+right apart, and it looks like there might be some
+
+useful things in this chamber.
+
+SAM: Okay. Real quick, I’ll just poke through one
+of the bags.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check with
+disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Oh, well then, okay, eight!
+
+MATT: You glance through and find a bunch of
+mildewed rice grain. Right as you hear a (snort).
+
+SAM: I will freeze and slowly turn to the sound.
+
+MATT: You glance over, and from the right chamber
+you see as two gnolls have appeared in the
+
+entranceway and have entered up, called from the
+sound of the heavy impacting thud on the wall but
+
+a few moments ago.
+
+LAURA: Are you stealthed?
+
+MATT: They both– no, he’s not. She is not, sorry.
+They both arrive to the top of the– (sniffing and
+
+growling). They both grab their spears.
+
+SAM: I’m going to say, “Help me! Help me now,
+please come in, save me, save my life!”
+
+LIAM: Help me, help me now, save my life. We have
+to go in! Here we go!
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+SAM: I am going to draw and fire at one.
+
+MATT: As they’re both right there, rushing towards
+you, you say this and you’re going to pull out and
+
+fire at one. The one to the right or the left?
+
+SAM: The first one who spotted me.
+
+MATT: The one that first spotted you would be the
+one on the left, so as it’s rushing towards you, go
+
+ahead and fire.
+
+SAM: Okay, 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage, not–
+
+SAM: Ten, 11 points of damage, because I’m going to
+use Fury of the Small.
+
+MATT: Okay, 11 points of damage. It hurts, but
+it’s still rushing forward. They both begin to
+
+rush in to close the gap. The rest of you guys rush in;
+to get to him, it will take the full round to get
+
+there. You guys use your movement and dash in.
+Those of you who don’t have darkvision, you can’t
+
+see anything.
+
+TALIESIN: I also uncover my sword at this point,
+which gives off a little bit of light.
+
+MATT: A faint bit of light. At this point, any of
+you with ranged abilities right now would be able
+
+to strike. But before you do, two of the gnolls
+rush in and are attempting to attack the small
+
+goblinoid female who has walked into their lair.
+The first strike, that is going to be a 21 to hit.
+
+SAM: Definitely hits. Any of us.
+
+MATT: That is six points of piercing damage as the
+spear jams into your shoulder and scrapes down the
+
+front of your chest, glances off the rest of your
+armor and it hurts, but you’re fine. You’re still
+
+feeling a little fuzzy anyway. The other one
+attacks, that is going to be a 15 to hit.
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MATT: No. This one you do see coming, and you
+dodge out of the way. But they’re both right up in
+
+your face right now, snarling and (growling). With
+that, the guys who have ranged attacks, go for it.
+
+LIAM: Wait, so the whole party ran in?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: As that was happening, the two humans in
+tandem said, “Wait, let them draw out their– fuck!”
+
+MARISHA: It’s so dark!
+
+MATT: So you guys have disadvantage on any of your
+attacks rolls because you cannot see. You are
+
+blind in the chamber.
+
+LIAM: Are we doing initiative or are we just
+going?
+
+MATT: For this round, because there’s just two
+gnolls at the moment, I’m just going through
+
+actions here to keep going.
+
+LIAM: Dancing Lights!
+
+LAURA: Guiding Bolt on the one closest to me.
+
+TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast on the other one.
+
+MATT: Okay, so the one that’s closest to you will
+be the one that already took damage from the bolt
+
+so roll for attack for the Guiding Bolt.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+LAURA: Six, nine, ten.
+
+MATT: Ten points?
+
+LAURA: Ten points.
+
+MATT: The one that’s now taken a crossbow bolt to
+the throat and has taken a Guiding Bolt, this giant
+
+blast of light explodes around this gnoll as it
+yelps and it encompasses its torso with this
+
+glittering light. Now the next attack against it
+has advantage. It is super hurt, but still
+
+standing. You’re making your attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I rolled the first one, which was a
+24, but with advantage. That’s less, so 24.
+
+MATT: You were attacking the other one, so you do
+not get the benefit.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I’m sorry. 24 for the first
+roll.
+
+MATT: Still hits, go ahead and roll damage on that
+one.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh balls, that’s–
+
+MATT: What are you using?
+
+TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: It’s a d10 for damage. That’s a d12.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that is a 12. Sorry, my bad.
+
+SAM: That’s the other character.
+
+TRAVIS: Old habits, they die hard. Nine points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage on that one. It gets
+blasted by the bolt of eldritch energy; however,
+
+it’s still snarling. Currently they’re both
+looking over at the sudden surge of newcomers.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve also got a distance attack. I’m
+going to use Devil’s Tongue on the one that just
+
+survived your hit.
+
+MATT: Okay, what does that do?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Vicious Mockery. In
+Infernal: You will feed the dogs in hell.
+
+LAURA: Oh, wow, I understood that. It was scary.
+
+MATT: They rolled an eight, minus– yeah, it does
+not make the save.
+
+TALIESIN: It takes 1d4 psychic, which is three
+points of psychic damage and has disadvantage on
+
+its next attack.
+
+MATT: Got it, great.
+
+LIAM: Four globules of light, Dancing Lights. The
+room is lit up.
+
+MATT: All right. The room fills with light at this
+point. The chamber fills, you can now see the
+
+scenery around you. Nott, you’re up first. Since
+you’re the first one to get a shot. There’s one
+
+that’s super hurt and one that’s kind of hurt.
+
+SAM: I’ll go for the super hurt one. Who’s right
+in front of me, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+SAM: What’s wrong?
+
+MARISHA: It fits in there!
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, that’s the thing!
+
+SAM: That’s what I’m doing. Laura discovered this
+last week.
+
+LAURA: It stays up super good.
+
+MATT: Nott, they’re both right up in your face
+snarling.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go to the super hurt one and be
+like (scream), grab it and I’ll do Shocking Grasp.
+
+MATT: Okay, so go ahead and make your melee spell
+attack, I believe it is, right?
+
+SAM: Yep, that’s a 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits.
+
+SAM: Okay, I don’t know how to do this. Hold on,
+is this a ten? No, that’s a ten, this is an eight. Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven it is. As you reach up and grab it
+with your hand, you watch as a burst of electrical
+
+arcane energy surges through its body. You watch
+as veins pop up its torso to its neck before it
+
+collapses into the ground. You have to duck out of
+the way before it slams. It would have crushed you
+
+if you’d stayed in the space you were, but you
+sidestep in time as the gnoll falls to the ground, lifeless.
+
+SAM: Am I in range– where’s the other gnoll, is
+it right on me?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay, I will bonus action disengage and run
+all the way around to the other side of the room.
+
+MATT: Okay. On the other side. As you’re doing
+that, the gnoll that’s right there sees you rushing
+
+off, but now it’s more attentive to the one who
+blasted it there. I’d say, for the sake of
+
+distance, since the moment you saw you fired, it
+probably couldn’t close the gap, so it’s going to
+
+drop the spear, pull out its longbow, and take a
+shot at you from here.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: It’s going to be a 14 to hit, what’s your
+armor class?
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: 14, all right. Not a great roll, you take
+four points of piercing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Four points.
+
+MATT: It catches you right in the middle of the
+sternum. The armor takes the brunt of it and it
+
+mostly just snaps at the impact, but it hurt.
+It’ll bruise. That ends the remaining gnoll’s
+
+turn. Next up would be Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, are there any close to me?
+
+MATT: There’s one you can close the gap with.
+There’s only one that’s currently standing in the
+
+room, the other one’s been killed. It was shocked to
+death by Nott.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’ll close the gap and come at it
+with a big double swing from my staff.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Finally a decent roll. 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Six plus four. That’s ten points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage, that’s enough to do
+it. It had already been damaged previously by
+
+Fjord’s Eldritch Blast and you watch as it snarls
+and pulls out its bow, pulls back, notches and
+
+releases the arrow. Moments after it’s released,
+with a quick burst of action you saunter up to its
+
+side and hit it across the torso with the stick.
+You feel seven different ribs break as it doubles
+
+forward. As it looks at you for a second, you take
+where the staff has broken in and jam upward
+
+to where its lungs would be and it (chokes)
+and falls to the ground, dead.
+
+MARISHA: I shake it off my staff a little bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn, you broke its ribs to get to its
+organs.
+
+MARISHA: It’s effective.
+
+LAURA: (singsong) I cut off the ears.
+
+MATT: You guys take a moment here–
+
+TALIESIN: Put them in the jar?
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: It’s an ear jar!
+
+LAURA: Our pickle jar–
+
+MATT and TALIESIN: –Is now an ear jar.
+
+TRAVIS: What happened? How’d they find you?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. They’re very clever. I was
+sneaking all the way down and they still
+
+discovered me. I don’t know how.
+
+TALIESIN: We look at the rope connected to the
+log.
+
+MATT: Yeah, as Nott’s saying this, your eyes wander
+off of her over to the right where you see this
+
+heavy tree covered in jagged bark that’s
+(creaking).
+
+SAM: That happened after they discovered me.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, what are all these bags in here?
+
+SAM: I was about to go through them, do you want
+to help?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: I will keep an eye down the tunnel that
+they came from while they pillage.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll look around. Are there any other
+entrances?
+
+LIAM: As you’re looking, I’m going to pull all the
+Dancing Lights down to one and put the rag over it
+
+and walk beside Beau so that she can see.
+
+MATT: Okay. There are two shafts. Both seem to
+descend. Both curving off in opposite directions.
+
+They both have the wooden frame for support.
+
+SAM: Wooden shafts.
+
+LIAM: Come on, you people. We need a corner, and a
+camera for the corner, and a long paper hat for
+
+you to put you in the corner.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t even react to it, he had to point
+it out.
+
+MATT: Looking around, it looks like this was a
+common area. This is the closest chamber to the
+
+exterior of the mine. It looks like there were a
+number of tables here, that a lot of them have
+
+been knocked over and broken. A lot of what would
+have filled this chamber has been pushed into the
+
+barricade you saw up front. You’re helming the
+investigation? Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: That was me. Me and Caleb.
+
+MATT: You guys are looking down the shafts.
+They’re looking in the sacks.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry. For the bags, yeah.
+
+MATT: Both of the shafts just descend and curve
+out of view. They go to a steady 45-degree decline.
+
+SAM: I’m helping, no? No.
+
+LAURA: Do I get advantage because they’re
+helping?
+
+MATT: You’re too drunk to help.
+
+TALIESIN: I was helping.
+
+MATT: You’re looking as well? Sure, take advantage
+then.
+
+LAURA: That is not as good. Investigation. 11.
+
+MATT: 11? Okay. You glance around. You find
+there’s an untapped ale barrel, there’s an
+
+untapped water barrel, there’s a hooded lantern
+that still has a functional bit of oil in it,
+
+though it’s only about half-full and very rusted
+over, but you clear off the glass on the outside
+
+and it’ll work fine. You find a sledgehammer that
+the handle is not so rotted to the point where it
+
+wouldn’t be functional, but a fair sledgehammer if
+you wanted to break any rock or stone. The crowbar
+
+that you had seen earlier, that can be acquired.
+
+LAURA: We should write this stuff down.
+
+MATT: You find a small lightweight rod about that
+long that has a short piece of waxed twine
+
+hanging from one end.
+
+LAURA: Is it metal, did you say?
+
+MATT: No, it’s not metal. It feels almost like a
+hard clay.
+
+LAURA: With wax?
+
+MATT: With a waxed piece of twine on one end.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I make a knowledge test to see if I
+would know what this is?
+
+SAM: A knowledge test? You mean an intelligence
+check?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, is this intelligence, or what
+would this be? I’m trying to think– I might have
+
+come across this?
+
+MATT: You had as good a chance as anybody to have
+come across this, so if you want to make an
+
+intelligence check.
+
+TALIESIN: Just an intelligence check? I’m trying
+to remember. 11?
+
+MATT: You haven’t come across one of these.
+
+LAURA: Well, I have it. Then the water–
+
+SAM: A water jug and an ale.
+
+LAURA: A water jug and an ale jug.
+
+SAM: Not jug, it was a barrel.
+
+TRAVIS: Casks.
+
+LAURA: Oh, so I can’t carry that with me? They’re
+big?
+
+MATT: No, they’re big, heavy, filled things.
+
+TALIESIN: We can put them aside. We will be
+bringing them out of here.
+
+MATT: You, make an intelligence check.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that’s okay. That’s, Scheiße, where did it
+go? Over here, D&D Beyond. It is ten. Yeah, I
+
+rolled very low.
+
+MATT: Ten, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: (whispering) Human, want a lantern?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yes. Did you light it? Is it a lit
+lantern?
+
+TALIESIN: I haven’t lit it yet. You can light it,
+I’ll help.
+
+LAURA: It’s hooded, so you can close off the
+light.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I can close it on and off, right?
+Like one of those things?
+
+MATT: Once it’s ignited and the oil’s lit, yeah,
+you can open and close the hood.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m one-handed, so I can’t really help
+you light it.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, what’ve we got, are we happy?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I found a small rod and a crowbar and
+a sledgehammer.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you going to carry the sledgehammer?
+
+LAURA: Is it heavy?
+
+TRAVIS: Not for you, Beast Mode.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re an alchemist.
+
+LIAM: Does the rod look like crudely made or
+prettily designed?
+
+SAM: Apparently I’m looking it over.
+
+MATT: Yeah, as you’re looking over it, it’s not
+beautifully made, it looks functional like a lot
+
+of the tools here, there isn’t a lot of
+presentation more than function as what you bring
+
+into a mine.
+
+LIAM: Okay, no carving, no glyphs, no nothing like
+that, just caked in shit?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: You take the rod and smell it and a familiar
+scent hits your nose. You’ve worked in your
+
+alchemical time with small-level explosives. As
+part of the elements of the alchemist’s fire,
+
+there is a reagent catalyst that when the
+chemicals mix it causes a minor explosion and then
+
+burns heavily, there is an element of that, but
+it’s very, very strong and a very intense scent to
+
+it. As soon as you smell it, it brings back
+memories of accidents that have happened in the
+
+past on a very small scale. You immediately get
+this wave of cold shiver down your neck, that this
+
+is a very dangerous object if used improperly.
+
+SAM: Yeah, careful with that. I think maybe none
+of us should hold that. Maybe Fjord, he seems sort
+
+of responsible. No, don’t make it a mustache.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It could blow up your face. It could blow up
+your face. Yeah, it’s a boom-boom stick. That’s
+
+the alchemical term.
+
+LAURA: Oh shit.
+
+SAM: I think if you put it near fire it could go
+explode. Who wants to hold it… who is not Jester?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll take it.
+
+LAURA: Give me my pencil, though. No!
+
+SAM: Oh great, throw a sharp object.
+
+TALIESIN: Anyone watching at home, the physics was
+really demanding on that one.
+
+LAURA: Can I put the sledgehammer on my back?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You can sling it in with your–
+
+LAURA: My shield?
+
+MARISHA: All right, guys, left tunnel or right
+tunnel?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll tuck the rod into my belt.
+
+SAM: It’s fine, I’ll go down the tunnel and scope
+it out for us.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, before we do that, we should
+remember to check for traps maybe.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Oh, can you do that?
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+TALIESIN: I certainly can’t.
+
+TRAVIS: You can?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I can’t. I can’t do any of that.
+
+LAURA: I can look for them.
+
+TALIESIN: I won’t be able to find them.
+
+SAM: I can look for them too, I don’t know what a
+trap looks like.
+
+LAURA: Well, what did that one look like that you got
+hit with before?
+
+SAM: Big piece of rope, probably should have seen
+it.
+
+LAURA: Maybe look for ropes crossing the ground.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we view this an opportunity to grow and
+we look for those now.
+
+SAM: I will make a mental note.
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+SAM: Look for big pieces of rope.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Anything that looks out of the
+ordinary, out of place. On the wall, on the floors–
+
+LIAM: Have a peeky-poo around as you go.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you still shithoused? Are you fucking
+hammered still?
+
+SAM: Don’t tell me what I can and can’t drink.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: You know, she does this from time to time,
+she becomes a little unpredictable, but you can’t
+
+argue with the results, you really cannot.
+
+MARISHA: I kind of like her when she’s like this.
+It’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, she needs another shot.
+
+SAM: You want me to go ahead again?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+LAURA: Which one are we going down, though? There’s
+two entrances, aren’t there?
+
+MATT: There are two paths, yes.
+
+SAM: I’ll go down one, just a little ways, and then
+I’ll come back.
+
+LAURA: You should actually stealth, though, this
+time, okay?
+
+SAM: I will stealth. I’m going to stealth.
+
+LAURA: You have a blessing.
+
+SAM: And search for traps.
+
+MATT: Okay, so make a stealth check first.
+
+LAURA: With advantage.
+
+SAM: Oh good. Okay, 20-something.
+
+MATT: Well, with advantage, but then disadvantage
+from the drunk, so it’s just a straight roll.
+
+SAM: The first roll?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to know. Then you’re going to
+check for traps?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check with
+disadvantage.
+
+SAM: With disadvantage?
+
+MATT, LAURA, and LIAM: Because you’re drunk.
+
+SAM: That affects– yeah.
+
+LIAM: You can’t tell me what I can do, Matthew.
+
+MATT: Dexterity-based and intelligence-based
+checks.
+
+SAM: That’s all of the checks. So zero.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Oh wait, no! No, I did the math wrong, it’s
+ten. I’m drunk, guys!
+
+TRAVIS: I know the feeling.
+
+MATT: Okay, and which path is this you’re
+checking?
+
+SAM: Left.
+
+LAURA: I was going to say left. I knew.
+
+SAM: I love you.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you want to check air current
+temperature? Nothing? Anything?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, little drafts, anything like that?
+
+MATT: You don’t sense any draft, the air is pretty
+stagnant, actually.
+
+TRAVIS: Temperature equal on both sides?
+
+MATT: Seems to be. On the left path, you do not
+notice any traps, anything akin to what you
+
+stumbled across as you entered. It does seem to
+descend and curve out of the way, but begin to
+
+snake a bit. You get about 15 to 20 feet down
+before it begins to rapidly curve left and right,
+
+it’s only about ten feet wide. You can continue if
+you want.
+
+SAM: No thanks. Okay, I’ll go back and report what
+I’ve heard, or what I’ve learned.
+
+LAURA: Do either of the two paths have more tracks
+coming in and out of them?
+
+MATT: They both seem fairly equal. You’ve been
+keeping tabs on footfalls in here. There’s traffic
+
+both ways.
+
+TRAVIS: You know what could be really handy in
+this situation is some of that fancy fucking
+
+thread of yours.
+
+LIAM: For keeping things– alerting us of things
+coming here or–
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I don’t mind commiting to one of
+these tunnels, I just want to make sure nothing
+
+comes behind us or comes up from the other way.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s a good suggestion. First, what
+are we doing? What did you find out down that way?
+
+SAM: It just keeps going and starts snaking, and
+there’s no traps, though.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go down the right one.
+
+SAM: Why?
+
+LIAM: I think we should also send you down that
+one as well to have a look around.
+
+SAM: All right. Here I go.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check, please.
+
+SAM: Okay, and looking for traps. Stealth with–
+
+MATT: Disadvantage.
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MATT: Oh, it’s straight roll because–
+
+SAM: Okay, 25. 24. Something. It’s a lot.
+
+MATT: All right, and investigation check with
+disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Investigation is 13.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Because you’re hammered.
+
+SAM: Yeah. 13.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes!
+
+MATT: You begin to curve down the right path and
+there is a slight depression on one side that you
+
+glance over and look and it looks like some of the
+burlap that had been torn from the sacks earlier in the
+
+tunnel had been used to cover a three and a
+half foot wide pit that has been laced over to
+
+hide its presence.
+
+SAM: It’s just burlap over a pit in the ground?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s affixed with a couple of rocks in
+the sides, it’s very light and would have fallen
+
+through. It only covers part of the path. The
+tunnel is about ten feet wide and the right side
+
+of it is where that pitfall is. You notice it and
+go. “Oh, hmm.” This one does not snake, this one
+
+continues in a continual curve for another 40 or
+so feet before you’re starting to get a little far
+
+from your friends. You can continue if you want.
+
+SAM: It just keeps curving and curving?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s going in a downward
+spiral.
+
+SAM: Oh, a downward spiral. Okay, I’ll go back and
+report what I saw.
+
+MATT: Great album.
+
+TALIESIN: So true.
+
+SAM: All right, so one path goes “wiggedy woo” and
+the other path goes “zibbidy zow.”
+
+TALIESIN: Were there any traps?
+
+SAM: No traps. Oh yes, there was a trap! To be
+fair, there was one trap. I thought you meant any
+
+sprung traps. There was a trap.
+
+TRAVIS: You sussed it out.
+
+SAM: I sussed it out. Don’t worry, I’ll take care
+of it.
+
+LIAM: How far down did you go each way?
+
+SAM: 40 feet down the “ziggedy zow” and like 25
+feet down the “zibbidy zoo.”
+
+LIAM: Well, my instinct tells me that if there’s
+something there, that they would trap it so
+
+probably more valuable, if we’re going on nothing,
+take the path that is trapped.
+
+LAURA: I agree.
+
+TALIESIN: Hear, hear.
+
+SAM: You’re so smart.
+
+LAURA: Unless they want us to think it’s the path
+that they’ve trapped.
+
+SAM: Reverse psychology!
+
+LAURA: That’s right, and it’s actually the path
+that is least resistance.
+
+TALIESIN: Unless they knew that you would think
+that.
+
+SAM: Oh, reverse reverse psychology!
+
+LIAM: These are dog people? Let’s take the path
+with the trap.
+
+TALIESIN: Trap, trap.
+
+SAM: Right path.
+
+MATT: As you all slowly begin to descend down the
+right path.
+
+LAURA: We’re stealthing!
+
+MATT: We’ll come to that in just a second. We’re
+going to go ahead and take a break. Since it’s a little
+
+past nine. We’ll be back here in a few minutes to
+pick up the descent further into this mineshaft.
+
+LAURA and MATT: Into madness.
+
+LIAM: Down the wooden shaft.
+
+MATT: Before we get to that, however, we do have a
+giveaway from our friends at Wyrmwood, as you saw
+
+last week we have another of their black walnut,
+two of their Adventurer Arsenals to give away again
+
+this week. If you haven’t seen, they’re awesome,
+well-made, and if you open it up on the inside it
+
+has space for you dice, for your pen, a place
+for a mini or eraser or anything else you want to
+
+carry into your game. It fits into the dice box
+that comes with it as well. We’re giving away two
+
+of these during the break. To enter this while
+we’re gone at the break you can go into the Twitch
+
+chat and enter, when you’re prompted, the code word
+gnoll. That’s G-N-O-L-L. Do not enter it more than
+
+once or you’ll be disqualified, and we’ll come
+back from the break with two winners to this.
+
+Thank you so much. We’ll see you guys here in a
+minute.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. We have our two winners in the
+chat over the break. Congratulations on winning
+
+the Wyrmwood package to ding0atx and
+lunaimperial.
+
+ALL: Woo!
+
+MATT: Congratulations to the two of you guys.
+Danoba will reach out to you and get your contact
+
+information and we’ll get those sent to you ASAP,
+so well done.
+
+Yes, all right. You chose the right or the
+left again?
+
+SAM and LAURA: The right.
+
+MATT: The right, okay. Down the path, the shaft
+winds for about another 150 or so feet before it
+
+slowly levels out into a long chamber of multiple
+levels. What once looked like a solid mining vein
+
+is now strewn with bones and flayed skin pinned to
+the rock walls with scavenged nails, blood
+
+spattered across them with intent painted a jagged
+smile of sharp teeth on each of these four hides.
+
+A faint source of light in the center flickers, a
+small stone altar holding a cluster of candles in
+
+the central level platform. It looks like about
+six gnoll-like figures have gathered around this stone–
+
+LAURA: We were stealthing, we were stealthing.
+
+MATT: I know. We’re going to get to that in just a
+second.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: While a strange seventh figure places small
+wet stones upon this altar, smaller than the other
+
+gnolls. Let’s get a perception check real fast
+from two of you. Who’s leading the–
+
+SAM: I would have been bringing them down, right?
+
+LIAM: You can see in the dark.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I can see in the dark, I’ll look.
+
+MATT: We’ll say since you two would be in the
+front then for that, you jumped up first.
+
+Perception check, both of you.
+
+SAM: Five.
+
+MARISHA: This sucks.
+
+LAURA: 11.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you don’t see much of the figure.
+Also, right now, I’ll have you guys all do a
+
+stealth check, please, as you make your way down.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I still have advantage?
+
+LAURA: No, he has advantage now, sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+LIAM: Ten.
+
+MARISHA: 22.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: Looks like this is the wrong path, everyone.
+We should probably go back to the other. Sorry.
+
+MATT: This figure looks gnoll-like, you see the
+ears and the snout, but as it reaches down and
+
+picks up these wet stones and places them in the
+altar, giving small, dark, muffled barks and
+
+yipping sounds, you see elements that look like
+smooth human flesh. The more that you focus in,
+
+you can see this looks to be a humanoid figure
+that is wearing pieces of hollowed-out gnoll-like
+
+armor. A hood missing a jaw that’s placed over the
+top of the head, sections of arms worn like a
+
+glove with the hand missing, sifted through. It
+seems that a lot of the body parts are discolored
+
+and rotting a bit, from what you can see from the
+candle light that’s flickering across it. Long
+
+bonelike spines, similar to what adorned the armor
+of that pack lord that you battled in the middle
+
+of the city last night, are also affixed to the
+outsides and pierced through elements of the
+
+shoulders and head of this flesh gnoll hide that
+it’s wearing. As it growls, mimicking the sounds
+
+of the gnolls that it seems to be residing along,
+the other gnolls around look, pacing from foot to
+
+foot impatiently (growls and grunts). Begins to
+speak louder and louder at this altar as it places a
+
+final wet stone on it. All the remaining gnolls
+begin to bark in unison together (bark and howl).
+
+LAURA: (whisper) Should we stop this?
+
+MATT: They all at once leap onto the altar and
+begin tearing into the stones, which are not
+
+stones. They were glistening. At this point you see
+hearts that are now being torn and swallowed by
+
+the gnolls at the altar.
+
+LAURA: Should we kill them all?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t make a sound.
+
+LIAM: (vomiting)
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that was well done.
+
+MATT: They finish devouring the hearts and the
+humanoid figure begins to bark a few more times
+
+and then in broken Common says, “The hunger will be
+fed: ours and hers. Come,” and points to two of
+
+them, “Help me carry more meat below. The rest,
+stay. Feast on what remains.” Turns around and you
+
+now look across the way. On the other side of the
+chamber, darkened, you see a gnoll leaning in
+
+familiar armor: the one that you had battled and
+had left with the carts is watching from the
+
+far end of the chamber down on the lower third-level
+platform.
+
+LAURA: The big mama jama?
+
+MATT: The weird gnoll priest, I guess you could
+say at this point, that’s been helming this little
+
+ritual, goes and joins the armored gnolls and steps
+aside and follows second, and the two gnolls that
+
+were assigned by it leave as well, leaving four in
+there in the chamber currently.
+
+SAM: Including the armored one or no?
+
+MATT: No, the armored one leaves with the priest.
+
+LIAM: Did you describe any light source in here
+that they’re working by?
+
+MATT: The candle altar. Yeah. It’s not an
+extremely bright light, but for those of you who
+
+are human, it’s enough where you can make out
+shapes once your eyes have adjusted to the low
+
+light interior.
+
+LIAM: Got it.
+
+MATT: You watch as they begin to grab the bodies
+on the ground. You can see there are now– The
+
+grinding of bones as they drag broken corpses
+across the floor and begin to tear into the torsos.
+
+LAURA: While that’s happening, I’m going to cast,
+very quietly, Cure Wounds on Nott next to me,
+
+because I saw you’re bleeding, yo.
+
+SAM: Oh, sorry. What does that do?
+
+LAURA: You just regained nine hit points.
+
+SAM: Ooh, nine.
+
+TALIESIN: This is getting ridiculous.
+
+LAURA: Yay.
+
+MATT: (barking) You watch as four hyenas fill into
+the space where the gnolls are and begin to sit at
+
+bay, waiting for the gnolls to finish feasting. One
+of them gets close, and the gnoll just grabs its
+
+head and shoves it against the wall, and it snaps
+into the wall and then backs up and then waits its
+
+turn. You can see the other hyenas that exist in
+this space, naturally scavengers, have to wait,
+
+being at the lowest of the totem pole.
+
+TRAVIS: How many total?
+
+MATT: Four gnolls, four hyenas.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck.
+
+LIAM: The one that got thrown into the wall? It
+got stunned or hurt, it didn’t get any–
+
+MATT: It didn’t seem to be too much. More to just
+keep it away from the meal.
+
+TALIESIN: We know they go down very quickly.
+
+MARISHA: I’m afraid if we keep waiting, more will
+just show up.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Let’s kill them!
+
+LIAM: (whispering) Here we go.
+
+SAM: What? We’re just going to go? There’s no
+plan?
+
+MARISHA: Well, maybe we can draw a few over to us
+and take them out on our terms.
+
+MATT: If you’re planning to engage, should I show
+you the layout of where they’re placed?
+
+ALL: Yes!
+
+SAM: He says coyly. “Would you like to see the
+layout of the room?”
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t like seven on eight. I am not a
+fan.
+
+SAM: Seven?
+
+LAURA: But they’re little.
+
+SAM: Six.
+
+LAURA: The hyenas are little.
+
+SAM: Oh, Yasha’s with us, right?
+
+(laughing)
+
+LIAM: The hyenas are just doggos.
+
+SAM: Yeah, they’ve got like four hit points. You
+can take out two of them in one go. If you were,
+
+you know, Grog.
+
+MATT: So here we have–
+
+LAURA: Oh, one’s an archer, two’s an archer,
+three’s an archer.
+
+MATT: They all tend to carry a bow on their
+backs.
+
+LAURA: Shit, four’s an archer.
+
+MATT: You can see now the hyenas that are waiting
+patiently. This one got knocked into the wall.
+
+They’re scooting at the sides, waiting for them to
+finish their meals. You guys are right up here
+
+where the shaft opens, glancing down into this
+chamber. That was where the priest and the other
+
+gnolls had exited.
+
+SAM: We’re up on top, up there?
+
+MATT: You guys are up on here. Which, for the
+purposes of–
+
+TRAVIS: Good thing we’re metal.
+
+MATT: It’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, I hate it, but–
+
+SAM: Is there any way to even the playing field a
+bit? Any strategy? Fjord and Caleb, come on?
+
+LIAM: What about the boom stick that you have? We
+can chuck it into the–
+
+LAURA: Oh! Wouldn’t that be really loud? Wouldn’t
+that draw them back, though?
+
+LIAM: Yes, it would, but–
+
+TRAVIS: Plus we’re in a mine.
+
+LAURA: It might bring the whole thing down on us.
+
+SAM: Maybe we could use that to escape later.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, definitely.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a big column that’s in between
+them, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it a column or a stalagmite?
+
+MATT: It looks like it was a stalactite that then
+was reinforced as a column to help
+
+maintain the structure.
+
+MARISHA: If we can make some sort of distraction,
+to get their attention, and if we can put or
+
+heavy hitters, our people up front, we can try and
+hold them in this mouth, ranged people in the back.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you want to throw the rod at the
+column?
+
+LAURA: I feel like we should do that when we’re
+leaving. We shouldn’t do that before we go in.
+
+Because we’re not going to be able to get to
+anything.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s another path down.
+
+LAURA: Well yeah, but this is very loud. It would
+draw things up here.
+
+LIAM: Where would you want this distraction to be?
+Because I can make a little–
+
+TRAVIS: Behind them, and make them turn away from
+us. Because we’re in a fatal funnel up here at the top.
+
+LIAM: I can make a little dancing golden person of
+light appear down at the bottom of the passage.
+
+MATT: A fifth gnoll begins to wander its way into the
+chamber.
+
+MARISHA: You see, more are going to keep coming.
+
+MATT: It goes over and kicks one of the hyenas off
+to the side. It sits there (snuffling and whining).
+
+TALIESIN: We can see now or try the other way.
+
+LIAM: If there’s more in there, they’re just going
+to come in here anyway.
+
+BEAU: And it’s not confined.
+
+TRAVIS: I genuinely feel like we should go the
+other way.
+
+SAM: The other way? This is it, this is the other
+way.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a whole other path.
+
+SAM: It’s nothing.
+
+TRAVIS: No?
+
+SAM: That’s nothing.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know?
+
+SAM: No, I’m guessing.
+
+LIAM: Here’s the question: do you think these
+things are going to come out of here right away,
+
+or is it worth a shot? Maybe there is a way
+around, to a way they’re not expecting?
+
+MARISHA: Normally, miners build coal mines with
+connecting shafts and double exits in case one
+
+side collapses. You always want another way out.
+We just don’t know where they’ve put everybody.
+
+We’re here looking for villagers, remember?
+
+LIAM: You know, there’s nothing saying we have to
+run in here if we’re not feeling this. We can
+
+backtrack and look in the other direction. In
+fact, I’m leaning that way.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Matt. DM question? If we were to try
+and back out of here, and draw them towards us,
+
+what would that be? Just a tunnel?
+
+MATT: Yeah, this tunnel is a ten-foot wide tunnel
+that continues backward.
+
+LIAM: Plus we do have a map here.
+
+SAM: Five gnolls. We’ve got these guys.
+
+LAURA: We can try attacking them, and if it gets
+bad, then we use the TNT.
+
+LIAM: Use D&D?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s what I heard.
+
+SAM: D&D?
+
+LAURA: No, TNT.
+
+TALIESIN: The longer we wait, the more things are
+coming.
+
+SAM: Maybe it’s the whiskey talking, but I think
+we’ve got these guys.
+
+MATT: If you wanted to, turning you backward here,
+there’s this path here. We could continue the
+
+tunnel back this way.
+
+MARISHA: It’s only a death funnel if we’re the
+ones dying, right? If they’re dying, that’s good
+
+for us.
+
+SAM: How far is it on the map from where we’re
+standing to the farthest gnoll?
+
+MATT: The farthest gnoll there? About 60 or so
+feet.
+
+SAM: We can definitely do a distraction to get
+some of them to turn away from us. At least we get
+
+a round in.
+
+LAURA: Get a surprise round.
+
+LIAM: I can make a little golden person dance
+behind that guy there.
+
+LAURA: We can get a surprise round on all of
+them.
+
+MARISHA: Surprise round, get as many range and AoE
+spells off as we can?
+
+LIAM: AoE? Surprise round? What are you talking
+about?
+
+TALIESIN: Be helpful!
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use this planning moment to cast
+Armor of Agathys on myself?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+TRAVIS: Spectral frost collects from the air on my
+armor.
+
+MATT: Which, as a note to remind you from last
+time–
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t give myself enough cold damage.
+
+MATT: Correct, yeah, so keep that in mind.
+
+SAM: Okay. Are you going to try your thing or
+should I try my thing first?
+
+LIAM: What is your thing?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I can try something! I can do a
+similar thing, have them see something behind
+
+them, but you can do the same thing. Yours are
+already cast, right?
+
+LIAM: Not right now, no. But it’s like that
+(snaps), it’s easy, this one.
+
+SAM: Okay. I could try to get one of them to fight
+with one of the other ones of them.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Yeah, that’s good.
+
+LIAM: Do that.
+
+SAM: I’m going to sneak up, down the steps to that
+little crook in there.
+
+MATT: Right here?
+
+SAM: Little further back, yeah. Is that all right?
+Do I have to roll or anything?
+
+MATT: Roll a stealth check.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit. Okay, with disadvantage?
+
+MATT: Do you still have the gift?
+
+LAURA: No, you still have Blessing.
+
+SAM: Oh, so 26. That puts me within 30 feet of
+those guys, right?
+
+MATT: Oh yeah.
+
+SAM: And what are they doing? Eating hearts?
+
+MATT: At a closer glance, you look and see. One of
+them currently is holding a pair of legs that are
+
+no longer attached to a torso, and is stripping
+the flesh from the thigh and leg, tearing into it.
+
+Takes a piece and chucks it off to the side, and
+the two hyenas fight over it. Another one back
+
+there, you can see, is clutching a scapula, the
+back of a shoulder blade, and is breaking the
+
+bones in half and sucking the marrow out. At a
+quick glance, you get the sense that some of these
+
+may have been denizens of Alfield as of 24 hours
+ago.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to start throwing up again soon,
+so let’s either do this or backtrack, please.
+
+SAM: Are they carrying anything on their bodies,
+on their person? Anything, canteens or weapons or
+
+equipment or anything?
+
+MATT: The gnolls?
+
+SAM: The gnolls.
+
+MATT: Most of them have a longbow slung over their
+shoulder, and have a spear that dangles off to the
+
+side, or has been jammed in the ground next to
+them.
+
+LAURA: While he’s doing it, I’m getting ready. I’m
+doing this. I’m going to cast Mirror Image of myself.
+
+MATT: Duplicity, or are you doing Mirror Image,
+the spell?
+
+LAURA: Mirror Image.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s all agree that if this goes bad, we
+run.
+
+LAURA: Suddenly, there are three me’s around
+myself.
+
+TRAVIS: If we need to close it off, light the tip
+of that little wick and throw it.
+
+LIAM: Are we going right now?
+
+MARISHA: Oh God.
+
+SAM: Are any of them holding anything that they
+put down for a second, or they got it firmly in
+
+their claws?
+
+MATT: The one that breaks and sucks the marrow out
+of one of the large, shoulder blade areas takes and
+
+grinds the teeth against it, scooping out
+whatever’s inside, then throws that piece onto the
+
+ground next to it, then takes the arm and begins
+to splinter the middle of the arm bone and try to
+
+get the marrow out of that.
+
+SAM: Are you going to do your thing?
+
+LIAM: Are you about to go?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. You tell me.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to really quickly mutter a few
+arcane words, then there is another Caleb blinking
+
+in front of me a little bit and behind me a little
+bit. It is hard to see me at the moment.
+
+LAURA: Are you casting Blur or Mirror Image?
+
+SAM: What are those words?
+
+LAURA: I want to know for my own sake.
+
+LIAM: I don’t care.
+
+MARISHA: Can I get more into a place with Beau? In
+this crux, mirroring Nott. Stealth check? Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Does your spell have concentration? You are
+concentrating on a spell at the moment. Beau, you
+
+quickly leap and land with no sound, catlike
+reflexes.
+
+MARISHA: Three-point landing.
+
+MATT: Your foot does slide for a second as you
+glance down, and where you stepped in, it looks
+
+like there’s a bit of leftover pieces of people.
+
+MARISHA: I (gagging).
+
+SAM: I whisper a couple words and use Mage Hand to
+pick up the little piece of shoulder blade he
+
+dropped and throw it in the face of the other
+guy.
+
+MATT: Okay. It slowly lifts, and one of the other
+gnolls that’s eating (splat), (growling), and the
+
+other one goes (yipping), and they go back to
+eating.
+
+SAM: They don’t care. Thought they would kill each
+other, I don’t know. That was it. We’re level
+
+three, that’s all I got!
+
+LIAM: (whoomp) A little halfling-sized person of
+light appears behind the gnoll at the far end there.
+
+MATT: What is it? What are you using?
+
+LIAM: I’m using Dancing Lights. You can use the
+four lights to make a little person, a little
+
+humanoid shape of light. It is doing a little
+macarena behind the gnoll all the way. I have 120
+
+feet of range.
+
+MATT: That spell is not concentration? Right,
+okay.
+
+LIAM: Yes, it is. But I would know that. I’m not
+going to do that, because of my keen memory that
+
+Caleb has, but not Liam.
+
+SAM: I’m going to turn around and whisper to
+Caleb: Are you going to do the thing? But I’m
+
+using Message, so no one can hear us. Are you
+going to do the thing? If not, I can do my thing.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin through the chamber and down
+and starts battering into the walls here.
+
+MATT: As soon as Frumpkin begins doing that, you
+watch as the one that’s nearest on this side, the
+
+one that had dropped the arm piece earlier, takes
+the bow off its back and begins to notch an arrow,
+
+looking around. It’s going to take a shot at the
+bird fluttering through. That is a 17. What’s Frumpkin’s–?
+
+LIAM: Oh, I’m sure that hits. Yeah.
+
+MATT: Six points of piercing damage. The bird goes
+(thud) on the ground and then dissipates. You
+
+watch as the four hyenas suddenly rush in towards
+where the bird had fallen, and they all go to the
+
+spot where it landed and find an arrow lying
+there, and (snarling and yipping).
+
+LAURA: I cast Spiritual Weapon above the two
+gnolls directly in front of me.
+
+MATT: The range on that is–?
+
+LAURA: Range on that is 60 feet.
+
+MATT: You’re placing it where? Right there?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, right there. It’s going to giant
+lollipop down and smack one of them in the face.
+
+MATT: All right. Which one?
+
+LAURA: This one. The one on your left.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll a spell attack.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, 19 plus whatever!
+
+MATT: Nice. Roll damage on that, that definitely
+hits.
+
+LAURA: That is nine force damage, and that’s my
+bonus.
+
+SAM: Damn.
+
+LAURA: Then I can do a cantrip. For my action, I’m
+going to cast Sacred Flame at the same dude.
+
+MATT: Same dude? That is a 15.
+
+LAURA: He saves, so is it half, or–?
+
+TRAVIS: What kind of a check was it?
+
+MATT: That would have been his dexterity saving
+throw, right?
+
+LAURA: Yes. “Must succeed,” so it probably doesn’t
+do anything.
+
+MATT: Yeah, then no damage. Okay, that ends your
+turn. Everyone else gets one action and then we
+
+roll initiative.
+
+LAURA: Can I run down the steps and hide behind
+a barrel like it’s going to make any fucking
+
+difference at all?
+
+MATT: Sure. You won’t get to hide, though, but
+you’re there. You’re standing next to a barrel.
+
+All righty, who’s up next?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m ready.
+
+MATT: Fjord, what you got?
+
+TRAVIS: Can you point to one of them that is not
+undead? Just looks like a regular gnoll, or I can
+
+just pick one.
+
+MATT: You can pick one. All of the gnolls in here
+look like regular gnolls.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. Did you aim at that one?
+
+LAURA: No, I aimed at the other one.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, I’ll take that far one.
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I focus and summon my falchion into my
+hand?
+
+MATT: Yep. It appears into your space in a burst
+of dull greenish-blue fire, and there you see it,
+
+dripping with salt water across its blade.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use my bonus action to cast Hex at
+that right gnoll?
+
+MATT: You may. That one is now hexed. You watch as
+the gore that’s been dripping from the front of
+
+its body seems to roll up its torso in reverse
+before it slips into its armor and grasps itself,
+
+the darkened shadowed gore now holding it in place
+as the Hex curse.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I reach back and fire Eldritch Blast
+into it?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: That hits. Plus 1d6.
+
+TRAVIS: Six plus four, ten, 1d6, 15 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: 15 points of damage. (explosion) That one
+immediately drops what it was eating as the blast
+
+slams into it, as it’s confused by the wrapping of
+the Hex. As it reels and almost stumbles onto its
+
+back, its foot crushes one of the nearby skulls,
+and there you see this gaping wound in its chest
+
+where the armor’s been sundered. There’s a smoking
+plume of blackened, horrible, shaded smoke pouring
+
+from it.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use my distance to move over here,
+if I may?
+
+MATT: That’s as far as you can, there.
+
+TRAVIS: Am I in your line of sight, Jester? Does
+anybody need that?
+
+LAURA: Nah, you’re fine.
+
+MARISHA: Nope.
+
+MATT: Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to do something weird,
+and I hope it works and doesn’t fuck the rest of
+
+us. I’ll move up right here next to Fjord. 40.
+That works good there.
+
+MATT: That’s 20 there.
+
+MARISHA: Let me go one more. That’s good. Then can
+I reach in my bag and grab out, in my little
+
+pouch, grab out a handful out of my 1,000 ball
+bearings?
+
+TRAVIS: You do have 1,000 ball bearings, I
+remember that. We had money. She bought a lot of
+
+fucking ball bearings.
+
+MARISHA: A lot of ball bearings! Can I take it
+and– you know how you can take your pocket and
+
+flip it inside out? And have a bunch of ball
+bearings go (metallic clinking) across this way?
+
+MATT: You hear hundreds of tiny metal clangs in
+succession as ball bearings begin to spray down
+
+the stairs and scattering across the floor of this
+central makeshift ritual room. As they run through
+
+the semblances of gore and the areas of the
+stonework that are exposed between, you have spent
+
+your action scattering.
+
+MARISHA: Is that my action? Okay, I’m going to
+spend a ki point, and as my bonus action take
+
+Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: Nice. As soon as you empty those out, you
+get back and go into your defensive position,
+
+preparing for any sort of assault. Caleb?
+
+LIAM: The effect of that hasn’t taken place yet,
+correct?
+
+MATT: The ball bearings, in this moment, are now
+clattering down into the ground.
+
+LIAM: Did Fjord hit one successfully?
+
+MATT: He did, yes.
+
+LIAM: That same one? I am just going to Fire Bolt
+it. From yeah, yeah.
+
+MATT: Roll for an attack.
+
+LIAM: Fire Bolt. That is an attack range guy,
+plus six that is a 15 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, just barely.
+
+LIAM: The damage is seven.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage. The one that you
+had hexed suddenly goes up into flames with a
+
+(dying scream) and falls back onto the ground.
+
+LIAM: I’ll use my movement to back up about 15
+feet just outside of the chamber.
+
+MATT: You are just there. As the flash of red
+light arcs from his finger and lights up the path
+
+before it impacts and kills the gnoll, Caleb then
+steps back into the shadows, trying to get out of
+
+the way. Nott?
+
+SAM: Oh, I get a turn as well? Because I did the
+Mage Hand thing.
+
+MATT: Yes, but that technically did not initiate
+into a combat. It just bothered one of them.
+
+SAM: Mildly.
+
+MATT: A temporary inconvenience.
+
+SAM: Sure, I’ll send an arrow down into the one
+that Jester attacked.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: That’s 23.
+
+MATT: 23 hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine plus your sneak attack.
+
+SAM: This is a sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Because you were stealthed.
+
+SAM: 14.
+
+LIAM: Rogue, best class.
+
+MATT: That one (explosion). The bolt goes through
+the center of his forehead and embeds itself right
+
+up to the very back. You watch as it (dying scream) and
+falls into the ground over one of the piled corpse
+
+pieces it was tearing through. Becoming one with its
+meal. And then?
+
+SAM: Crouch back and hide.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a hide check to try and disappear
+back there. Stealth on that one.
+
+SAM: Advantage, but disadvantage, so 16.
+
+MATT: Okay. You did your thing. Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to creep out against the wall
+closest to me and try and hide in one of these
+
+coves. Over in the corner, as far as I can get
+into the–
+
+MATT: You can get right into the similar space as
+Nott there.
+
+SAM: Does he see me?
+
+MATT: I would say barely.
+
+TRAVIS: Hello!
+
+SAM: Hi.
+
+TALIESIN: Since I’m too far away for anything too
+crazy, I don’t have a good bonus action. I will
+
+use my Devil’s Tongue, I’ll use Vicious Mockery on
+the gnoll that’s currently in between– not the
+
+one that’s– actually, the one that’s furthest from
+us, because he’s going to be the archer, and in
+
+Infernal I’m going to say: I’m too disgusted to
+think of anything clever.
+
+MATT: It rolled a natural one on its saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: So yeah, that’s three psychic damage and
+he has disadvantage on his next attack.
+
+MATT: Good to know. Now, everyone please roll
+initiative.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+SAM: Natural 20. Do I have to roll with
+disadvantage, is this dex or intelligence?
+
+MATT: It’s technically a dexterity ability check
+so it would be disadvantage, yeah.
+
+SAM: Two, so six.
+
+LAURA: That is so sad.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+TALIESIN: 23.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MATT: Fjord, what did you get?
+
+TRAVIS: Four.
+
+MATT: Sorry. So who else rolled a natural 20?
+
+SAM: I did, but I got a disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Right, yeah. But don’t you have advantage
+with–
+
+SAM: On stealth.
+
+MATT: Just on stealth checks, that’s right. So
+Molly’s up first. That’s a fun little initiative
+
+tracker thing from our friends at Axe & Shield.
+See how it helps out there.
+
+TALIESIN: I was 23.
+
+MATT: 23. 20 to 15?
+
+MARISHA and LIAM: 17.
+
+MATT: The gnolls rolled a natural 18 plus one, so
+they’re at 19. Gnolls are next.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, the gnolls are next.
+
+MATT: Both of you guys are at 17?
+
+MARISHA: I’m shaking.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: Jester got 13. Ten to five?
+
+SAM: Six.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m at four.
+
+MATT: They hyenas are before Nott. Then we have
+Nott, then we have Fjord. Molly, you’re at the top
+
+of the round.
+
+TALIESIN: God, that’s awful.
+
+MARISHA: God, that’s bad. I don’t think I even
+fucking spelled it right. I think I botched that
+
+all across the board. I spelled it “Hyneas.”
+
+MATT: Gets the idea across. The special hyena.
+
+LAURA: “Hyneas!”
+
+MATT: What you got, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get a little– Oh, can I do
+this? No, I can’t do that. Fuck. I know, I’m so
+
+sorry. I should have my shit together. How far
+(counting)? Oh god, that’s too far to walk. I’m
+
+going to try and get one little crevice. Actually,
+I’m going to hold my position. I’m so sorry.
+
+MATT: Hold your position?
+
+TALIESIN: Hold my position and use one more Tongue
+on one of the other guys.
+
+MATT: All right. Natural 20 on the saving throw,
+unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, so no.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: (coughs) and I’m holding.
+
+MATT: All right, that’s your turn. All right, the
+gnolls are up first. These two here are going to
+
+pull out their bow and begin to fire at Beau.
+Since you had been the first to appear at this
+
+point and gather their attention. They both have
+disadvantage on the attacks. That is going to be
+
+an 11.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: The other is two 14s in a row, so it would
+be 18 to hit.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, hit. With disadvantage?
+
+MATT: 17 to hit, sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Hit.
+
+MATT: Yeah, all right.
+
+MARISHA: 17 is my armor class.
+
+MATT: That would be–
+
+MARISHA: This is with a bow?
+
+MATT: Yep. That’s going to be ten points of
+piercing damage to you.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to cat-paw try to catch the
+missile with Deflect Missiles. What do I spend–
+
+Oh, wait. Oh no, wait, this is a ki point.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s a ki point to throw it back.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no, it’s a ki point to throw it back,
+it’s just a reaction. It’s 1d10 plus seven. Nine
+
+plus seven, so 16.
+
+MATT: You catch it in mid-air and reduce it to no
+damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking dope!
+
+MARISHA: I hold it out like a microphone and go–
+
+MATT: As you do that, the one in the bottom of the
+ground, who is closest to you, grabs its
+
+spear off the side of the wall. (growling) Runs up
+the stairs.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it hit the ball bearings?
+
+MATT: That’s what I’m–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, okay.
+
+MATT: Rolling its dexterity check to see if it can
+do so. It does succeed. It’s a 15. It slips, but
+
+it manages to make its way up the stairs.
+
+MARISHA: I laugh at it, as it comes at me.
+
+LAURA: He looks so stupid.
+
+MATT: Coming into combat with both Fjord and Beau.
+He’s going to go ahead and reach out at you with
+
+that. It’s going to be a 16?
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: 16 misses.
+
+LIAM: I hope we at least heard the Looney Tunes
+bongos (bongo noises).
+
+MATT: After you drop the arrow, it comes up and
+you parry this one off to the side and go back
+
+into your defensive stance. That ends both of
+those’s go there. Now, comes to Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I can see from where I am, I can see
+Fjord and Beau with one of these things. I’m going
+
+to Fire Bolt right from where I am.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it. Roll for attack.
+
+LIAM: That’s it. Aw, no.
+
+TRAVIS: “Aw, no.”
+
+MATT: It strikes part of the stone altar,
+splintering candle wax and pieces of remnant heart
+
+chunks, but no impact unfortunately on the actual
+gnoll.
+
+LIAM: Sorry!
+
+MATT: You going to stay where you are?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I will walk just inside the–
+
+LAURA: Did you go, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: I haven’t, but we rolled at the same
+time.
+
+MATT: Right, so Beau, you want to go with your
+action now?
+
+MARISHA: Yes! I’m going to take my staff, I’m
+going to try and crack this guy on the back of his
+
+head where he is.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Jesus Christ al-fucking-mighty. 13? Does
+that hit?
+
+MATT: As you swing the bo back, trying to crack
+him in the head, it actually slips on one of the
+
+ball bearings you had left, and as it manages to
+catch itself, it falls out of range of your sweep
+
+of the bo. You’re like, “Shit!”
+
+MARISHA: I’m my own worst enemy! I’m going to do a
+knee and a round kick– Oh no, sorry. I can
+
+just do one. I’m thinking in advance. One kick
+with the knee!
+
+MATT: All right, go for the attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn.
+
+LAURA: Do you want my dice bag?
+
+MATT: You slip on one of your own ball bearings on
+the second strike, and manage to catch yourself by
+
+grabbing the fur on the outside of the gnoll and
+using its body to right yourself, and then, “Ugh.”
+
+It’s a little slick and sticky.
+
+MARISHA: I wipe my hand on Fjord really quick.
+
+MATT: All right, Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Have any of them been hurt yet?
+
+MATT: That are standing? This one has been hurt a
+little bit.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to move my Spiritual Weapon
+over to the one on the ground, directly in front
+
+of Beau. Oh, I meant on the lower level. Yeah, and
+it’s going to hit him! Whoa. 16 plus five.
+
+MATT: 16 hits, plus five hits even more.
+
+LAURA: That’s nine points of force damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of force damage as the lollipop
+hits it in the back of the skull and it leans forward
+
+and grabs the back of its skull with this
+pounding, throbbing pain in its head.
+
+LAURA: And then I’m going to use Toll The Dead on
+the one in front of Beau.
+
+MATT: All righty. So what does it have to roll?
+
+LAURA: He has to roll a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: Okay. And the range of that one is?
+
+LAURA: 60 feet.
+
+MATT: So that rolls a nine plus zero, nine.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! So he takes 1d12 necrotic damage!
+Two. It’s a little bell this time.
+
+MATT: Just a little bell. You watch as a little bit
+of blood comes out the side one of the hyena’s ears.
+
+TALIESIN: I like to think that your lollipop makes
+Candy Crush sounds when it hits people.
+
+LIAM: Jester, is the lollipop the flat kind or the
+round kind?
+
+LAURA: I’m picturing the flat kind, so it can
+whack.
+
+MATT: So the spiral kind? Gotcha. Are you going to
+move at all, or are you going to stay where you are?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to stay right there.
+
+MATT: Okay, that ends your turn.
+
+LAURA: And then I make my mirror images be like–
+I guess they’re doing that because I’m doing that
+
+because they’re my mirror images.
+
+MATT: There you go! There is a whole dance number
+over there of multiple Jesters. The hyenas go now.
+
+TRAVIS: (sings tune to “Single Ladies.”)
+
+LIAM: That’s the best.
+
+MATT: Does succeed on his dex save. This one’s going
+to attempt–
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) If you liked it, then you should
+have put a ring on it.
+
+MATT: Leaps up to there. Dexterity saving throw,
+does succeed.
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez, there’s a lot of them. That’s a
+bigger one, it looks like.
+
+MATT: Succeeds! They’re actually
+rolling pretty high for their saving throws. This
+
+one will be a three, that one does not make it.
+This one gets partway over and then falls prone
+
+there. Uses the other half of its movement to get
+up, but that’s as far as it can get. It can’t
+
+actually attack for this round. It’s going to use its
+movement to make the rest of its run up to the top
+
+of the stairs. So that one does not get an action
+this turn because it slipped on the ball bearings.
+
+It’s going to be one attack against Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Whoa, it was effective!
+
+MATT: With disadvantage. That’s a natural 20, and
+a six.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Yeah, that does not hit, not at all. It’s
+plus two. The hyena rushes up and lashes out
+
+towards you, and you just pop, slap it in the nose and
+it pulls back.
+
+MARISHA: Nose punch.
+
+MATT: Yep. The two other ones that rush up and
+come along the flank with the hyena to you, Fjord.
+
+First one goes, that is going to be a 15 plus two,
+17?
+
+TRAVIS: That will hit.
+
+MATT: All right. Actually, it has advantage on the
+roll because of pack tactics. It didn’t really
+
+help, let’s see here. You take two points of
+piercing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: The other one is going to attack you.
+
+TRAVIS: It will take ten points of cold damage in
+return.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Which causes it to shatter into ice
+on the ground. It bites you and its snout
+
+(explosion) T-1000 style. It shatters into a
+million ice pieces.
+
+TALIESIN: You lost a gnoll there.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: No, you’ve got a gnoll. You should have
+that looked at.
+
+MATT: Thank you. The other one is going to take a
+strike at you. Natural 20, it’s a critical hit. 20
+
+and ten. That pack tactics is nasty. That means
+you, for dice wise, suffer eight points of
+
+piercing damage. It takes ten and it explodes into
+ice as well. Both of these hyenas rush up and
+
+strike and both in succession disintegrate into
+shards of ice across the ground.
+
+LAURA: That is the coolest spell ever.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s so hardcore.
+
+MATT: The spell is gone though, right?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s it.
+
+MATT: That’s going to end the hyenas’ turn. Nott,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll lean out from behind Mollymauk’s
+buttocks and rest the hand crossbow on his left
+
+cheek and fire–
+
+TALIESIN: I support.
+
+SAM: –on the gnoll that’s engaged with Fjord.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Firing. Eight.
+
+MATT: (laughs) As you drunkenly try and aim in the
+direction.
+
+SAM: It’s that bulbous butt!
+
+MATT: You almost pull the trigger twice, but you’re
+aiming at Fjord and you’re like, “No.”
+
+TALIESIN: No advantage for engagement?
+
+MATT: No advantage, but he can sneak attack if he
+hits. That’s how it works. You finally go, and one
+
+of the elements of stone in the side of the cavern
+wall (impact) as the bolt hits it and goes sideways.
+
+SAM:Am I still hidden? No? That exposes me, do I
+have to hide again? How do rogues work?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re revealed.
+
+SAM: Oh, I was revealed. Okay. So I have to hide
+again.
+
+MATT: You have to find a way to obscure
+something’s vision to you before you can hide.
+
+SAM: Sure, got it. Okay, I’ll run up the stairs
+then and hide back near where Caleb is. Other
+
+side. And then hide.
+
+MATT: That’ll work. Go ahead and roll a stealth
+check as your bonus.
+
+SAM: Well, I’ve cocked. Terrible. Nine plus eight
+is 17! Oh, wow, I’m so stealthy.
+
+MATT: You’re a rogue this go-round, man. All
+right, that ends Nott’s turn. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, it is my turn! Can I use my bonus
+action to move my Hex from my defeated foe to my
+
+new foe right in front of me?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, and can I whip my falchion around
+and upstrike, just try and cut right through him?
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: (singing) I whip my falchion
+back and forth.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s only a 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, good!
+
+MATT: His AC’s 15.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I say two-handed?
+
+MATT: I’ll allow it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got to get in the habit of saying
+it.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’ve got to say it. Two-handed, I’ll
+allow it.
+
+TRAVIS: 1d10. That’s a ten! Four– that’s 14
+points of damage plus a d6, that’s 15 points of damage.
+
+MATT: So this one, that had already– 15 points of
+damage, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm!
+
+MATT: This is the one that you hit earlier with
+it. As you swing with your falchion, just spinning
+
+it in your hand, you arc upward. As you do, you
+watch as the gore and shadow of your Hex, which
+
+now seems to grasp around its chest, almost
+reaches out to meet the blade in the middle like
+
+the two bits of lightning hitting in the center of
+the sky. As they impact, the blade carries through
+
+the momentum, the strength coming from the blade,
+not from your actual body. As you do, you carve
+
+through a large portion of its torso. You watch as
+the hide armor folds off, revealing this huge gash
+
+wound in its chest. It (snarling and growling).
+It’s still standing, but it’s horribly wounded
+
+now.
+
+TRAVIS: You fucked with the wrong one, son.
+
+MATT: That end your turn, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: That does.
+
+MATT: All right, to the top. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run up to these two and
+join the fray up here.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: First, I’m going to take a swing at the
+big guy.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 16 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits! Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: And that’s– just using my normal one
+for this one. That’s eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. As soon as it rears
+from the attack, Fjord, you watch as in a flash
+
+the cloak billows of Mollymauk’s arrival. As the
+cloak falls, you just watch as the gnoll’s head
+
+just rolls off of its shoulders. You can see the
+blow that struck it.
+
+TALIESIN: Bonus action with the glowing sword goes
+down into the hyena.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, hot damn!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s an 11 to hit?
+
+MATT: That’s its armor class. Hyena doesn’t have a
+whole lot of armor.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, and that’s eight points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. With the one strike,
+you turn around and look at the hyena. (whoosh)
+
+with the offhand and just carve right through it.
+
+TRAVIS: With a flourish.
+
+MATT: Wait, because that didn’t have the–
+
+TALIESIN: No, this one was the glowing one.
+
+MATT: Well, the glowing one is your main hand.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it was my main hand?
+
+MATT: Then your offhand is the other one.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, okay. I didn’t know how that.
+
+MATT: So what damage would it have been without
+the bonus?
+
+TALIESIN: That would have been four.
+
+MATT: Four damage? All right, so it’s still there.
+You carve through, and it’s wounded, but it’s
+
+still (whimpering).
+
+TALIESIN: I would have flipped them if I’d known.
+
+LAURA: Couldn’t you have attacked with your
+offhand first?
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, I would have flipped
+them if I had known.
+
+MATT: You could have.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to hit the one that didn’t
+have much left.
+
+MATT: The idea is the bonus action attack happens
+as part of the attack action.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure, I’ll do it reverse next time.
+
+MATT: No worries, you can keep that in mind next
+time. It’s all good, you still beat the shit out
+
+of it with your offhand. So that ends Molly’s
+turn. Those two gnolls in the back, this guy is
+
+going to back up as he attempts to make a
+dexterity save. Fails! So he falls prone, uses the
+
+rest of his movement to get back up, so he can
+only move ten more feet so he can’t get that much
+
+further away. He’s going to go ahead and take a
+shot, this guy is going to go ahead and pull back,
+
+he’s out of the bearing range and begins making
+his way towards the door.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+MATT: They’re both going to take shots at Fjord.
+Actually, one at you, one at Molly. They’re not
+
+going to fire at you because you visibly caught
+one and dropped it in front of them like, “Fuck that.”
+
+MARISHA: Aw, damn it!
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck that!
+
+MATT: Against Fjord, that’s going to be 19.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that hits.
+
+MATT: And against Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Blood Maledict on that fucker.
+
+MATT: Okay. That brings it down to a 14.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that don’t hit.
+
+MATT: All right, as the one that is going to fire
+at you, Molly, pulls back its arrow, its eyes suddenly go
+
+dark and begin to bleed from the inside. It
+suddenly (snarling) and releases it, and you watch
+
+as that arrow splinters against the central
+column. The one that does come towards you, Fjord,
+
+however, does strike true. You suffer eight points
+of piercing damage as this one catches you right
+
+in the abdomen, a little bit to the right, tapping
+something kidneyish in that vicinity and you feel
+
+this sudden dull pain and nausea overcome you.
+That’s going to end the gnolls’ turn; Caleb,
+
+you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I saw Nott dart in front of me and chuckle
+to myself, see Nott walk past, I’m going to walk
+
+forward and say: You are enjoying this too much,
+but okay. Can I see these two? You said they were
+
+backing away, correct?
+
+MATT: You can see this one. This one is
+technically being blocked by that central column.
+
+LIAM: All right then, the diamond comes up, I spin
+it and little charges of electricity crackle
+
+around it, and I kick it out from my hand and it
+spirals through the room to that one.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll your spell attack.
+
+LIAM: Come on, Grog! No.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, Caleb, so rough tonight.
+
+TRAVIS: (as Grog) Sorry.
+
+MATT: What’d you roll?
+
+LIAM: Two. Plus six is eight, did that do it?
+
+MATT: No, unfortunately.
+
+LIAM: Nein!
+
+MATT: It skitters off the central column and goes
+spinning out of control as the electrical sphere
+
+shatters against the stonework and dissipates the
+energy, absorbed by the surrounding stonework.
+
+LIAM: But I was so eager that I actually came down
+the steps my full movement.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll also say I think we– oh no, that’s
+right, you’re double.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that would be your full movement there.
+Pretty close.
+
+LIAM: I don’t want to go there, I want to go to
+the bottom of the steps behind Mollymauk and Fjord.
+
+MATT: Ending Caleb’s turn, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Right, okay. How far away is he? I’m
+having a hard time seeing. Can I close the gap?
+
+MATT: You could say maybe he’s about 30 feet from
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, can I do some cool monk shit and do
+some wall running and leap and parkour and then
+
+get to this guy?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try. Make an acrobatics
+check for me.
+
+MARISHA: Acrobatics?
+
+TALIESIN: I can see this is going to end up with
+an Office parkour gif in your future.
+
+MARISHA: Parkour! Oh, that’s good! That’s a
+natural 18 plus six.
+
+MATT: As you run off the edge, the hyena takes a
+swing at you. That is going to be a 14.
+
+MARISHA: Miss!
+
+MATT: You feel it snap at your heel, but does not
+actually grasp any of your body.
+
+MARISHA: My foot just taps his arm just a little
+bit and I leap off of his arm.
+
+MATT: You push off of him, run across this wall,
+leap, hit this pillar, and then, using the momentum, leap
+
+and land right in front of the gnoll there.
+
+MARISHA: As I’m leaping, I want to take the staff
+and come down and go (crack) with a slap. Double
+
+handed, piece of shit gnoll! Oh god, it’s a two!
+
+MATT: What was the other one?
+
+MARISHA: That was my eight-sided die. I’m trying
+to efficient my rolls.
+
+MATT: Roll both? Yeah. As you swing down, the
+gnoll manages to see you up in the air and side
+
+steps as you hit the stonework.
+
+MARISHA: I scream as I come down the whole way
+going (screaming).
+
+MATT: (gnoll laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I just go (pop) and do a little jab,
+okay. That’s an 18.
+
+TALIESIN: You just slap him in the face.
+
+MATT: Damage on that one?
+
+MARISHA: That’s just a d4. Four, so eight!
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage, nice! As it’s
+laughing, (laughing, punch, growling) its jaw is
+
+dislocated and it snaps back into place. You see
+some of its teeth broke. It looks kind of dazed
+
+and hurt by it. It’s looking pretty rough; it’s
+taken some hits in the past. That’s the end of
+
+your turn.
+
+TALIESIN: He can’t run anymore.
+
+MATT: All right, that brings us to Jester.
+
+LAURA: I say, “Don’t laugh at my friend!” and I’m
+going to send my lollipop over and hit it in the face.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’ll do it, 20 feet.
+
+MARISHA: Get a good hit, lollipop!
+
+LAURA: I don’t know if it’s going to hit it. Eight
+plus five.
+
+MATT: 13? No, I’m afraid that will not hit. As the
+lollipop comes around the corner, it sees it
+
+coming, and moves to get Beau to intercede between
+the lollipop and itself. At that moment, you’re like,
+
+“Oh, I can’t quite–,” and you end up withdrawing
+and not making the strike this round for fear of hitting Beau.
+
+LAURA: Toll the Dead!
+
+MATT: All righty, so that’s a wisdom save? That’s
+six, no!
+
+LAURA: Yay! Okay, seven.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage. As you release the
+surge of energy, the sound begins to vibrate
+
+in its ears as it (whimpering) and it reaches up
+as both of its eardrums burst on the sides of its
+
+head and it falls to one knee looking like it’s
+completely ruined and dazed. And Beau, you have a
+
+moment to coup de grâce it. You (whack) and break
+its neck with one swoop of the bo. Combined, you
+
+both finish off that gnoll.
+
+MARISHA: Sounds great.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s so cool. That spell is so cool.
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty cool.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yeah, that was awesome.
+
+TRAVIS: Toll the Dead is the bomb!
+
+MATT: Jester, you want to move?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to hang out where I am.
+
+MATT: Okay. End of Jester’s turn. The hyenas. This
+hyena is going to move past–
+
+TALIESIN: Does Fjord get an attack of opportunity
+on it?
+
+MATT: No, that one was not in melee with
+him. That one’s going to move up to you, Fjord.
+
+Attacking you, Fjord, that is a six.
+
+TRAVIS: No, it doesn’t hit! Thankfully.
+
+MATT: Attacking you, Molly. That is a 20.
+
+TALIESIN: That hits.
+
+MATT: You take two points of piercing damage as it
+snaps at you. Seeing that they’re both beginning
+
+to glance about and see that their allies are
+starting to back away, and there’s a lot of you up
+
+in this upper area, they’re both going to attempt
+to break away with the rest–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m definitely going to take an attack
+of opportunity on that one.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to, as well.
+
+MATT: Yep, both of you do.
+
+LAURA: We got to get that last gnoll before he
+leaves the room.
+
+TALIESIN: 14?
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: Both hit. Roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this main hand?
+
+MATT: Main hand. This one is hanging on by a
+thread. It’s the one you damaged last round.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you carve that one. You?
+
+TRAVIS: 11 points.
+
+MATT: As they’re rushing, you both (whoosh)
+simultaneously strike back at it as they’re
+
+attempting to flee and they stumble down the
+stairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we cheers swords?
+
+TALIESIN and TRAVIS: Tink.
+
+MATT: Perfect. Their bodies stumble to the ground
+and end up– it’s weird because their bodies hit
+
+the ground, and the momentum carries them as they
+slide across the ball bearings, almost like
+
+they’re lagging.
+
+MARISHA: Bad physics?
+
+TRAVIS: What’s that– kerning? Curling.
+
+MATT: Finished the hyenas’ round. Nott, you’re
+up.
+
+SAM: Seeing the gnoll’s expression, I know it
+well. It’s one of fear and about to run away.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: At disadvantage?
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MATT: It is not disadvantage on wisdom checks. 19.
+This gnoll looks like it’s ready to fucking bolt.
+
+It is on the way out of the room. The tide has
+turned, it’s starting to see more and more of you
+
+appear at the top of the stairs as the hyenas and
+its friends are being destroyed. It’s going to run.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m going to put the hand crossbow up
+and run as fast as I can, straight at it. Using my
+
+bonus action to dash, I’m going to say to it: Hey,
+you! If you spend all day in a well, well, that’s a
+
+day well-spent! I’ll cast Hideous Laughter on it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I’m glad we still get shitty jokes.
+
+MATT: It immediately goes (cackling) and falls on
+the ground, on its back, and is now rolling with
+
+laughter. Laughter that is echoing through the
+halls and making its way through the tunnel.
+
+SAM: Don’t you worry. Fjord, kill him!
+
+TRAVIS: You made it prone; it’s harder to hit
+that way!
+
+SAM: Get closer!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m trying! I would like to move up my 30
+feet of speed.
+
+MARISHA: I turn behind me, I go: Watch the ball
+bearings! Watch the marbles!
+
+MATT: Make a dexterity saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Shit.
+
+MATT: As you hear that just as you reach the
+bottom of the stairs.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay, you get to the bottom of the stairs,
+and you barely begin to slip and catch yourself.
+
+It’s a DC 12. However, you continue to run.
+(counting) That’s about as close as you can get on
+
+your 30 movement–
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use my bonus action to move my Hex
+to the laughing gnoll on the ground?
+
+MATT: Yes, you may.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll cast Eldritch Blast at it.
+
+MATT: Actually, make a concentration check. You’ve
+taken some damage, and I forgot to maintain your
+
+Hex’s concentration.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. That’s right. Saving throw?
+
+MATT: Make two for me, if you don’t mind.
+
+TRAVIS: This first one is a 19.
+
+MATT: Correct. That’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: The second one is 18.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re fine. The Hex moves over–
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll remember that.
+
+MATT: Whenever you take damage, and you have a
+spell that’s concentration, you have to–
+
+TRAVIS: These spell rules.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: Eldritch Blast?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. Oh, sorry, plus six.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage. Because it’s still prone.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s even higher, so 14.
+
+MATT: 14? Still misses, unfortunately. It hits and
+gleans off of its armor. However, it isn’t quite
+
+strong enough to actually make a painful impact on
+its body and slams into the nearby rock, causing a
+
+spray of dust and debris.
+
+TRAVIS: The attack has to hit for Hex to work,
+right?
+
+MATT: Correct. All right. That ends your turn,
+Fjord. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run down the stairs the
+opposite direction from the ball bearings. I’ll
+
+see where I can get, if I can get 30 feet.
+
+MATT: That’s as far as you can get, right there.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to also use Vicious Mockery
+again and yell: Shut up already!
+
+MATT: That actually is a 16. What’s your DC?
+
+TALIESIN: DC on that, it just says wisdom saving.
+
+MATT: Right. Against whatever your spell DC is.
+
+TALIESIN: Where is my spell DC? Well, it’s weird,
+I’m not a spell–
+
+MATT: Spellcaster technically. We will say for
+the purposes of this it’s eight plus proficiency
+
+bonus which is ten plus whatever your charisma
+modifier is.
+
+TALIESIN: My charisma modifier is zero.
+
+SAM: Yuck.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Not a big deal. For now. We’ll tighten
+it up. Cool. So no effect there. Molly’s turn is
+
+over. The gnoll’s turn. It is laughing its ass
+off. Now does it make–
+
+SAM: The end of its turn it makes a save.
+
+MATT: All right. Which is a 17. It manages to
+shrug off the laughter.
+
+SAM: At the end of its turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh, so it can’t get up and move.
+
+MATT: No. It’s just on the ground going (confused
+whimpering). It’s about to try and get back up.
+
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to go along the edge of the steps
+this way and come down toward it and I’m going to
+
+now spin and flames lick around it and I’ll go
+(flick) and I flick that off my hand. This time is
+
+also not good. It is a 13.
+
+MATT: 13. It has disadvantage because it’s still
+prone.
+
+LIAM: Oh. For my attack?
+
+MATT: Yes. Against ranged spells.
+
+LIAM: Same thing. Rolled the same thing.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you release it and it just skids
+across the ground. Like skipping a stone across a
+
+lake. It slams into the wall behind it and
+(explosion).
+
+TRAVIS: I apologize.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s okay. No, I don’t believe in any of
+that bullshit. You all are crazy.
+
+MATT: It’s all good, man. Just survive to level
+five and everything will turn. Unfortunately it
+
+does not hit.
+
+LIAM: No, don’t worry about me. Keep going.
+Everybody attack.
+
+MATT: All right. Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: I want to do this as my two-handed
+attack, but for flavor to skin it. I want to
+
+stroll up, channeling The Rock. Charge up the
+elbow. Then we go a People’s Elbow. Come right down.
+
+MATT: You have advantage because it is prone.
+
+MARISHA: Just a full body weight (thudding). With
+advantage? Can I consider it a two-handed attack?
+
+MATT: You’re just getting your attack, so yeah,
+still with advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god! Why?!
+
+LIAM: Two and a three.
+
+MATT: Here’s what you do. You walk up. Tap tap.
+Leap and right as you’re in the air the gnoll
+
+kicks out of laughter. Rolls out of the way and
+you wham!
+
+MARISHA: (yelling in pain)
+
+LIAM: Never recover from that injury.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, that shit just hangs out in there.
+
+MATT: The worst funny bone pain shoots through
+your arm as you get up.
+
+LIAM: You are going to be rubbing Tiger Balm into
+that shit for years.
+
+MATT: You still have your bonus. The gnoll actually
+starts laughing again.
+
+MARISHA: For flavor, my second attack isn’t really
+an attack. I’m in so much pain I go (yell) and I
+
+kick a little bit.
+
+MATT: Roll the attack. You still have advantage.
+Yeah, because it’s still prone.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: That will shut it up.
+
+LAURA: I like that your revenge hits are always
+really high. That’s twice now that they’ve
+
+laughed at you and you’ve hit them while they’re
+laughing at you.
+
+MARISHA: Every time I try to show off it never
+works. That’s what I’m learning. Okay, three
+
+doubled to six plus four. So ten.
+
+MATT: So as it’s laughing, you kick it in the head
+and you see it stunned on the ground for a second
+
+and its eyes kind of rolling in different
+directions. Nice heavy crack to the side of its temple.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t care too much. I just roll over
+and go fetal for a minute.
+
+MATT: Okay, ending Beau’s turn. Jester, you’re
+up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to skip over across the upper
+level towards the far stairs so I can see it. I’m
+
+going to send my Spiritual Weapon over to it and
+smack it flat on the ground!
+
+MATT: Okay, that does have advantage because it is
+technically in melee with it.
+
+LAURA: Jesus Christ, I don’t think either of them
+hit. 13 and lower.
+
+MATT: Nope. It’s just rolling out of the way of
+everything. It’s doing what Beau did in the last
+
+fight, but on the ground.
+
+LAURA: Then I’m going to Toll the Dead. Wisdom.
+
+MATT: Unless it rolls a natural 19.
+
+TALIESIN: This is amazing!
+
+MATT: This one gnoll is just holding on so hard.
+Jester, I think that ends your turn, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: Jesus fucking Christ.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The hyenas are dead. There’s no hyenas
+left.
+
+TRAVIS: The proned-out gnoll is just making it
+through.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Nott. Bring it home!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to sit down on the ground and–
+all my Mirror Images do the exact same thing.
+
+MATT: You watch as four shimmering Jesters all
+kneel down and shake their heads in their hands.
+
+Beau is over there going (gasps).
+
+MARISHA: It’s almost something like a Jacob’s
+Ladder moment, the end of his life is being
+
+stretched out.
+
+MATT: This gnoll is going to need some serious
+therapy. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I can’t believe this thing is still alive.
+It’s still prone, right?
+
+MATT: It’s prone, yeah, so melee attacks have
+advantage.
+
+SAM: So I walk up to it, and then point-blank
+shoot– not point-blank, but far enough away that–
+
+MATT: You’re at disadvantage with a ranged
+attack.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll stand back ten feet.
+
+TALIESIN: No, you’ll still get disadvantage.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage from a ranged attack
+up close and disadvantage against a prone
+
+creature. Right now, with your crossbow, it’s
+disadvantage regardless.
+
+SAM: Oh, well shit. Then I will draw a sword and I
+will–
+
+TRAVIS: Slap that bitch!
+
+TALIESIN: Now you’ve got advantage.
+
+MATT: Now you have advantage on the attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Get your hands dirty.
+
+SAM: Thank god. Okay, 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits. Go ahead and roll damage with your
+sneak attack.
+
+SAM: Okay, 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage. How do you want to do
+this?
+
+(cheers)
+
+SAM: I think, since it’s on the ground, I would
+like to pin it into the ground, if I can, by
+
+finding the thinnest thing on it and jamming my
+shortsword into the ground.
+
+MATT: As it’s cackling and moving around, I like
+to imagine this is all happening simultaneously.
+
+Beau’s on the ground holding her elbow, the weapon
+misses, and it’s rolling and cackling and starting
+
+to get up and you’re like “Hmm, there!” (thump)
+Almost unceremoniously it’s like (dying yip) and
+
+falls limp on the ground where you place it. It’s
+almost like the slow push from Saving Private
+
+Ryan. You’re like, “Shh, shh, shh.”
+
+LAURA: You’re terrible.
+
+MATT: (dying yips) and it expires there on the
+ground.
+
+LAURA: I go around and I collect the gnoll ears
+and I put them in the jar.
+
+LIAM: As the room falls still, I say: Well, he had
+a good run. A toast to that guy right there on the ground.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Cheers.
+
+SAM: He was like Beyoncé. He was one hot Knowles.
+
+(laughter and groaning)
+
+SAM: I don’t know!
+
+TRAVIS: One point of damage? All of us?
+
+MATT: Everyone takes one point of psychic damage.
+
+LAURA: I have a question. How similar do hyena
+ears look to gnoll ears?
+
+MATT: They are noticeably smaller and not gnoll
+ears.
+
+LAURA: What if we said they were baby gnolls? I’m
+going to cut them off just to be safe.
+
+MATT: Okay. Five sets of gnoll ears and four sets
+of hyena ears.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to call Nott over to the chest
+over on that side there. Do you see anything wrong
+
+with this? Is there anything hinky about that
+chest?
+
+SAM: I check for traps. Checking for traps.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: This is an intelligence check?
+
+TRAVIS: Are you still intoxicated?
+
+LIAM: It’s investigation, I think.
+
+TRAVIS: Or has that shit worn off with some
+activity?
+
+MATT: The next ten to 15 minutes or so, you’ll be
+able to shake off the alcohol.
+
+SAM: For now, I rolled an 11.
+
+MATT: Okay. It does not appear to be trapped.
+
+SAM: It’s good!
+
+LIAM: Does it look good?
+
+SAM: It’s totally good.
+
+LIAM: Take a step back. You’ve earned this. I will
+open it, just in case.
+
+MATT: (clunk) It’s locked.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+SAM: I will pick it!
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and attempt, with
+disadvantage, to pick it.
+
+SAM: What am I rolling?
+
+MATT: It’s proficiency bonus, which is two, plus
+your dex bonus.
+
+SAM: Okay. Proficiency and dex. But disadvantage.
+Okay. 21.
+
+MATT: As the adrenaline pumps through your system,
+it wakes you up a bit and even with the
+
+intoxication that’s been flooding your system, you
+steal a moment of clarity and it opens without an
+
+issue. You glance at it, and the chest looks like
+it’s been bashed in a little bit, like one of the
+
+gnolls was trying to get into it and eventually
+gave up, got flummoxed, and threw it on the
+
+ground. As you open it up from the inside, you can
+see essentially a central medical pack, if you
+
+will. An emergency pack for any of the miners that
+had gotten hurt or wounded. There are two healer’s
+
+kits in there. There are a number of disinfectant
+herbs and funguses. Anybody who is proficient in
+
+medicine would know how best to utilize those. I
+don’t know if any of you are.
+
+TRAVIS: Nope.
+
+MATT: Then it’s a risky endeavor to maybe use one.
+You do find a small leather hand pack that
+
+contained four glass vials, three of which were
+shattered from the rough movements when it was
+
+tossed around, but one that is still intact. That
+contains a healing potion.
+
+SAM: Is it a healing potion?
+
+MATT: It is. It is a greater healing potion, not a
+standard healing potion.
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+SAM: I hand it to Caleb. You need this more than
+all of us. You’re the squishiest.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s probably true. Thank you. You
+take the two medicine packs and then–
+
+SAM: What do I do with these? I don’t, all right
+fine, I’ll take them. I collect medicine packs now.
+
+LAURA: I need them. I could probably use those.
+
+TALIESIN: I also like the idea of maybe giving the
+healing potion to the healer.
+
+LIAM: She can heal without the potion.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you heal yourself without the
+potion?
+
+LIAM: Of course she can.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, well all right then. That didn’t
+really occur to me.
+
+SAM: I’ll keep the herbs.
+
+MATT: You can mark down medicinal supplies, would
+be what you’d call it. You are not entirely certain
+
+as to how they are applied, but they are probably
+healthy.
+
+LAURA: Can I look at them since I’m proficient in
+medicine?
+
+MATT: You’re proficient in medicine? Yeah. I was
+asking if anyone was proficient with it.
+
+LAURA: Oh, sorry. I was writing down gnoll sets of
+ears.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Fair enough. The medicinal supplies
+you have acquired can be utilized to remove
+
+poisons, if quickly applied to where the poison
+was put. It has two uses. If an action is taken to
+
+apply it to a wound, whether a bite or a wound
+that was poisoned, it can help remove the poison.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: It’s an action you said?
+
+MATT: It’s an action to apply it, yeah.
+
+LIAM: There was a lot of gnoll chatter in here,
+and a lot of exploding orbs and stuff, so I’m
+
+going to guess that we have alerted whatever is
+beyond that we are here. How do we wish to proceed?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, they make a lot of noise. They may
+not have noticed.
+
+MARISHA: Can I, since I’m in that general
+vicinity, go 20 or so feet into this hole and
+
+listen and see if I hear anything?
+
+LIAM: They don’t send orbs of fire through the
+air, though.
+
+MATT: As you step forward a little bit, make a
+perception check.
+
+LAURA: What was the question? I’m sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: There was no question.
+
+MARISHA: 13.
+
+MATT: You hear echoing, muffled in the distance.
+Some yipping, some conversation in whatever this
+
+gnollish language is. You hear a deep, resonant
+(deep breathing) and a distant (thump). An impact,
+
+and a sound near (yips). That’s all. Sounded quite
+a ways away, like this echo had been traveling a
+
+ways down this tunnel.
+
+MARISHA: I bend down–
+
+MATT: You hear a few other cackling chuckles that
+echo shortly thereafter.
+
+MARISHA: I turn around and come back to the rest
+of the group and say: There’s something bigger.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, could you give me a heal a little
+bit? I took a little bit of a beating.
+
+LAURA: Oh sure. Yeah, I’ll cast Cure Wounds on
+him.
+
+MARISHA: I think there’s something bigger at play
+here. Whatever is driving these gnolls I think is
+
+deeper in. Can I look around and see if I can find
+anything like any papers, anything from that
+
+humanoid that might be intelligible?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check, please.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, 20 total.
+
+MATT: Okay. Looking about the altar, you find some
+smaller pieces of fresher flesh that have been
+
+stretched over the edges of the altar, like on the
+corners. You can see a similar grin across the
+
+center. It’s all blood splattered from the hearts
+that were placed on there. As you wipe a little
+
+bit of it away, you can see stained into this
+loosely tanned human skin the same symbol of the
+
+jagged smile. The jagged teeth that form a grin
+that the various tanned banners that are stapled
+
+into the stone walls show and reveal. But no
+notes. No books, no parchment.
+
+MARISHA: Can I try and figure out what this is, if
+I recognize this symbol in any way?
+
+TALIESIN: I’d also like to join in on that with a
+religion check.
+
+MATT: You’ve already made a religion check before,
+and as you come up and join her, this particular
+
+symbol, the grin matches the memory, the flash you
+had of this entity.
+
+MARISHA: Yeenogru?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, Yeenoghu.
+
+MARISHA: Yeenoghu?
+
+MATT: You gather this is probably the symbol
+that represents this entity.
+
+TALIESIN: The cult of Yeenogru.
+
+LAURA: Yeenogru or Yeenoghu?
+
+MARISHA: Yeenoghu or what?
+
+MATT and MARISHA: Yeenoghu.
+
+TALIESIN: Mr. Magoo. Well, you know. Fake
+confidence.
+
+LIAM: Are you clear now?
+
+SAM: I’m fine.
+
+LIAM: How many fingers am I holding up?
+
+SAM: More than I think I have on my entire body. I
+think I just have four on each hand.
+
+LIAM: And thumbs? Or–?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: You good? Do we need to get out of here?
+
+SAM: Yeah. I’m good. We’re fine. I mean, is this
+the plan? We were supposed to free living people,
+
+but we got some arms. We could bring those back.
+
+LIAM: I don’t think, I mean, yeah, we could,
+but–
+
+LAURA: He did say to bring back anything we could
+find.
+
+SAM: Are there any identifiable body parts?
+
+MATT: You take a few minutes to look around, which
+gives you two notifications. One, nothing seems to
+
+be immediately coming in to search as to what the
+noises were, and you do hear other distant sounds.
+
+Impacts and cackling and stuff. You get the sense
+that the tunnels deeper in have some activity
+
+amongst the gnolls that live below whatever
+they’ve converted this mine network to be. You
+
+also see that all the bodies in this chamber have
+been pretty much picked of any identifiable facets.
+
+MARISHA: Jewelry, wedding bands, anything?
+
+MATT: If you want to take some time to really pick
+through it, you could try. Do you want to?
+
+LIAM: No, we’re still trying to get to people
+here. Our options are we press forward to
+
+something worse, or we backtrack and try the other
+direction, or we get out of here.
+
+TRAVIS: We have the silver thread up top, right?
+
+SAM: Did we do that?
+
+LIAM: Did we? No, we opted not to do that for
+time’s sake.
+
+LAURA: We could do it now. As we move forward.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, it took a few minutes, didn’t it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we could do that now.
+
+TALIESIN: How are you feeling, Fjord?
+
+SAM: Yeah, Fjord, are we going to be Fjord
+Explorers or Fjord Escapes?
+
+LAURA: Jesus.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I could do that quickly. I could put
+an Alarm here quickly. I could do it the fast way,
+
+and know if anything is coming behind us. Is that
+what we want to do? Do we want to go around? I
+
+don’t know, I’m a little terrified of what is down
+there.
+
+MARISHA: While he does that, can we, no we can’t
+take a short rest. It’s not enough time.
+
+MATT: That’s up to you.
+
+LIAM: That’s a half hour is a short rest. Or an
+hour is a short rest.
+
+MATT: It’s about an hour or so.
+
+MARISHA: Nope. Ignore what I said.
+
+LIAM: There’s two ways that I can do this. I can
+do it lickety-split or I can take my book out and
+
+do it the harder way, but that’s ten minutes,
+about.
+
+TRAVIS: I think it’s in front of us.
+
+MARISHA: There’s something real big back there.
+It’s real big.
+
+LIAM: We just have to march into it. Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not convinced that they don’t still
+have people alive down there.
+
+LAURA: I’m pretty much out of spells now. But
+that’s okay.
+
+TRAVIS: A short rest doesn’t get us spells back,
+does it?
+
+MATT: Not for her it doesn’t. (singing)
+Conservation!
+
+LIAM: How are you with that sledgehammer on your
+back?
+
+LAURA: What do you mean?
+
+LIAM: You’re carrying a sledgehammer on your
+back.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: How are you with it?
+
+LAURA: Oh. I don’t know. It’s a big weapon.
+
+MARISHA: She’s got a badass scythe.
+
+MATT: It’s more of a tool sledgehammer than a
+weapon sledgehammer.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ve got a scythe. A sickle.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to volunteer that perhaps we move
+forward until we can see whether there are any
+
+living people that we can help and we make a
+decision then.
+
+MARISHA: I saw nothing that would clue me in as to
+what might be deeper and really big?
+
+MATT: Nothing that caught your attention.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: That went far better than the village, but
+also that big armored bastard wasn’t there.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s make a pile of these bodies, too.
+Just in case, maybe they think that they took each
+
+other apart.
+
+LAURA: Let’s set them up like they all were making
+out.
+
+LIAM: No, we don’t have time for that here. We
+have to get going.
+
+SAM: Like some sort of a circle-jerky sort of a
+thing?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: On the way out.
+
+LAURA: Loosely prop them up like that.
+
+LIAM: When we’re victorious we can do disgusting
+things as we leave. Nott, I think you should take
+
+point again.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LAURA: Did you do the–
+
+LIAM: That I thought that was for going back the
+other way. We want to know if something comes
+
+behind us?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: The reasons for doing that are slighter and
+I don’t want to blow my wad magically.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: If we were going the other way, I might.
+
+TALIESIN: I agree.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go and be really smart and do this.
+
+SAM: Am I drunk or am I not drunk?
+
+MATT: If you were to take about ten more minutes,
+you’d stop being drunk.
+
+LIAM: We talked for seven minutes, yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+SAM: All right. Wait for three more minutes and
+then go.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you want to wait until Nott shakes
+off the–
+
+TRAVIS: The booze?
+
+MATT: The influence, the booze. Eventually, you
+regain–
+
+MARISHA: While we wait for those three minutes I
+turn to Molly and I say, Do you remember anything
+
+in your recollections of this Yee…ah…noghu.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Yeenoghu.
+
+TALIESIN: Yoplait.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. Yoplait is a female deity? Or a
+male deity? Do you remember?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s hard to remember. It’s a lot of
+aggression, anger.
+
+MARISHA: I’m wondering with that whole, you
+know–
+
+LIAM: Why are you curious about that?
+
+MARISHA: Well, the guy. The guy running the
+ceremony said that the hunger will be fed, “ours
+
+"and hers,” right? I mean, that’s what he said,
+right, DM? I didn’t mishear that?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I remember anything about either
+gender or that this would be– Other than
+
+I just saw a lot of aggression and a feral aspect of this.
+
+MATT: That was it, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I just wonder who “hers” is. Who is
+that?
+
+LIAM: That is the crux of the matter.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Shall we go find out?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+you hear one sound that varies very strongly from
+
+the others that have encompassed this tunnel
+sequence. You hear this female scream, this
+
+high-pitched shrieking scream that says, “No! My
+baby!”
+
+LAURA: Oh, no! This is what happens when we sit
+down and we talk.
+
+TRAVIS: We got to go. Can’t fuck around with mama
+deaths.
+
+LAURA: We’re moving forward as quickly as
+possible.
+
+SAM: I charge ahead.
+
+MATT: You guys rush down the tunnel deeper into
+the maze of mineshafts–
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+MATT: And we’ll pick up on that next week.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+SAM: Whose baby? Where are they? Why were they
+crying? We’ll find out next week.
+
+LAURA: That’s one way to get your players to move.
+There’s babies dying.
+
+MATT: Also, babies.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my God!
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) We fucked up the gnolls, fucked
+up the gnolls.
+
+LAURA: I like that our pickle jar is getting
+filled with little–
+
+TALIESIN: Filled with pickled ears!
+
+LAURA: I’m smushing them down so that there’s
+like–
+
+MATT: Oh god! So it’s actually briney pickled
+gnoll ears?
+
+TALIESIN: Have you ever had pickled pigs’ feet?
+
+LAURA: Well, we drank all the pickle juice out of
+it, so, really they just kind of have a pickle stink.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re in their own juices.
+
+MATT: Yeah, there you go.
+
+LIAM: It’s like a tip jar.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’ll be an interesting, interesting
+learning process of conservation of spells as you
+
+progress down–
+
+LAURA: Well, I was saving them but then
+fucking Fjord asked for healing.
+
+MATT: I know. That’s okay. That’s what cantrips
+are for. That’s what weapons are for.
+
+LAURA: That’s what I was using, cantrips.
+
+MATT: That’s what I’m saying, something to keep–
+as you continue forward if you need to assault
+
+things. All right. Oh, quick announcement which is
+fun, so we’re going to have a guest next week.
+
+SAM: Oh. We are?
+
+MATT: Our first guest of the campaign.
+
+MARISHA: We didn’t know about this.
+
+MATT: Yeah you did, I mentioned it.
+
+MARISHA: We knew this. We totally fucking knew
+this.
+
+SAM: Do we know who it is?
+
+MATT: Yeah, next week we’ll be able to have on our
+show Khary Payton.
+
+LAURA: Yay!
+
+MATT: He’s a long-time friend of a lot of us here,
+we’ve worked a lot in the VO community. If you
+
+aren’t familiar with him, you should look him up.
+If you’ve been watching The Walking Dead or Fear
+
+of the Walking Dead, he’s been awesome. On that
+show for a long time.
+
+LIAM: Teen Titan’s Go!, plays Grimlock on
+Transformers, all over the place.
+
+MATT: Phenomenal voice actor, great actor. We’ve
+been talking for a long time, he’s been wanting to
+
+play in this for a long time, but he’s been very
+busy, of course, those things, but he’s in town
+
+and he’ll be joining us.
+
+MARISHA: He’s so nice.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+MARISHA: He’s such a teddy bear.
+
+MATT: He’s fucking awesome. So we’ll have Khary
+here next week. We’re so excited to have him join
+
+us, and go give him a little love. He’s actually
+at a Kansas City convention right now with Will Friedle.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, nice!
+
+MATT: So if you’re in that area over the next few
+days, you should go say hi and give him some
+
+Critter love or on the internet as well. So, yeah,
+excited to have him next week. In the interim,
+
+guys, have a wonderful week, we love you, thank
+you for joining us, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+MATT: Hello everyone! And welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where us nerdy-ass voice
+
+actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.
+Slight delay there due to tech issues but we’re
+
+back online and all is well. Tick issues are a
+problem– It’s a thing, I know. We’re going to
+
+jump in here shortly. We have a guest who’ll be
+joining us partway into the story. Before we get
+
+to that, let’s go ahead and get to our
+announcements and get them out of the way because
+
+we’re a little behind. We’ll try and rush through.
+First and foremost, tonight our sponsor and has
+
+been our sponsor from the beginning and onward
+into the campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond.
+
+They’ve been awesome. Sam! You seem ready to say
+something?
+
+SAM: You guys know what D&D Beyond is? It’s
+awesome. You should check out the site
+
+dndbeyond.com. They also now have open alpha
+access for an upcoming mobile app. The D&D Beyond
+
+team is looking for additional stress testers and
+you can sign up using the following links. Insert
+
+links below me.
+
+MATT: In case they aren’t–
+
+SAM: Oh, I have to read it? Okay, bit.ly/dndios
+and bit.ly/dndandroid.
+
+MATT: Bit.ly as in bit dot ly.
+
+SAM: Yeah, they know what bit.ly is.
+
+MATT: I’m just making sure!
+
+SAM: Sure. Since D&D is such a dorky 80s thing to
+do, I’ve composed a dorky 80s jingle for D&D
+
+Beyond.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: (singing) You got the perfect warlock, the
+weapons and supplies, But you need a place to
+
+track your stuff, ‘cause you’re so disorganized!
+You click open the web page you heard about on
+
+Critical Role. Now you’re ready to kick some butt
+in that mineshaft full of gnolls! It’s D&D! D&D
+
+Beyond. Yeah D&D! D&D Beyond. You got your stats,
+you got your sword and you’ve got your invisible
+
+wand! It’s D&D! D&D (synthetic drum sound effects)
+D&D Beyond!
+
+(cheering and applause)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god! If they don’t make that they’re
+fools!
+
+MARISHA: That was magic!
+
+LAURA: I want to see that!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to make that right? We’re
+going to make that now.
+
+MATT: There are moments like this that it makes me
+a little sad that you’re no longer a bard. At
+
+least we keep the Scanlan alive with shit like
+this.
+
+TRAVIS: Tell me you were singing that in your car
+on the way home from work.
+
+SAM: I was.
+
+TALIESIN: I can see action figures busting through
+walls being held by hands (explosion sound
+
+effects).
+
+MATT: That was awesome. Thank you, Sam.
+
+SAM: You had to imagine the synths.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, we were there. Thank you D&D Beyond
+for allowing that to happen as well as being a
+
+helpful tool.
+
+LIAM: Les Mis was a stepping stone for that
+moment.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Next up. Reminder guys who have
+Amazon Prime, with Twitch Prime, you can actually
+
+subscribe to a Twitch channel for free. One a
+month with your Amazon Prime account. If you have
+
+it, connect it to your Twitch account and you can
+subscribe to Geek & Sundry or any other Twitch
+
+channel you are a fan of, for free.
+
+LIAM: (as Mickey Mouse) Comes with Prime!
+
+MATT: What is going on? I’m so scared.
+
+TRAVIS: You hit a particular high note and we’re
+trying to do our best squeaky voice.
+
+MATT: It’s a really good idea to taunt the DM
+before you start playing. I think it works out
+
+really well for everyone involved.
+
+LIAM: Like the internet, we like to obsess about
+your every little movement.
+
+MATT: Of course, that’s okay. I have a sense of
+self. Talks Machina, of course, will be discussing
+
+tonight’s episode next Tuesday with our host W.
+Foster. Brian W. Foster. It’s been a long day. W
+
+Foster!
+
+MARISHA: It’s very formal.
+
+MATT: Isn’t it though? When he dresses up nice?
+Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific here at Twitch and
+
+Project Alpha to discuss what happens tonight.
+Check that out. Laura, you said there’s a merch
+
+update.
+
+LAURA: Yes! Hey! I don’t know if you guys have
+gone to the store lately but there’s stuff in
+
+there. The reason that I was talking today is
+because I was informed that there’s actually some
+
+more CR dice, not the Vox Machina dice– those
+aren’t back yet, but the CR dice are in stock if
+
+you’ve been wanting some of those. There’s also
+stickers and keychains and t-shirts– lots of
+
+t-shirts you should check them out– and notebooks
+and awesome pencils.
+
+LIAM: Still got that art book.
+
+LAURA: That art book and an apron for the Slayer’s
+Cake.
+
+SAM: Just one?
+
+LAURA: Just one apron.
+
+MATT: A single apron, get it now before it’s
+gone. Awesome, thank you, Laura.
+
+LAURA: Supplies are limited.
+
+MATT: The podcast for last week’s episode is
+available for download where all fine podcasts are
+
+available on the internet. If you have friends
+listening to the audio version, they be caught up,
+
+now. After this episode probably, they’ll start it
+now. You get it. We announced at Emerald City
+
+Comic Con we have a limited release, only 1000
+copies of the physical copies of the Issue #1 of
+
+the Vox Machina Origins comic.
+
+(shouts of excitement)
+
+MATT: Oh, I haven’t seen it yet!
+
+LAURA: I haven’t seen it in person yet!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s all about the back.
+
+SAM: Don’t open it! Your hands will touch it and
+it will no longer be mint!
+
+(groaning)
+
+TRAVIS: Now it’s worth more. Keep going.
+
+MATT: There’ll be 1000 copies there. The limit is
+only five copies per person per day.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my goodness gracious.
+
+SAM: You’re on the back of a comic book?
+
+LAURA: Hey, and it’s the Slayer’s Cake apron that
+I was just–
+
+MATT: (laughing) Thank you Laura for pointing that
+out.
+
+(exclamations of awe)
+
+MATT: Dark Horse is releasing that for this
+special event. Please check it out if you are
+
+going to be there. Grab a copy if you want. It is
+March 1st through the 4th, and our good cast
+
+members here Laura and Travis will be there.
+
+LAURA: Yes we will as well as– You’re going to be
+there too.
+
+MATT: Oh shit! Well, there you go. You can go tell
+him how much you liked his character tonight.
+
+Speaking of the comic book: Issue five will be
+released on digital platforms of that very comic
+
+March 7th. Those that want to keep up and get to
+the next chapter of the six issue arc, issue five
+
+comes out March 7th so keep an eye out for that
+and we’ll have announcements as that comes. You
+
+can look for a sneak peek at the artwork at
+geekandsundry.com. Once again, our campaign is
+
+pushing our fantastic friends at 826LA. They’re an
+amazing charity group that takes underprivileged
+
+kids or children and young teens who don’t have
+the opportunity to get in depth and learn about
+
+creative writing and give them a safe space for
+them. They do wonderful work. Check it out if you
+
+have the opportunity. See if you can give either
+financially or with your time and you can
+
+volunteer to be part of the program. It’s really
+great. Other than that, appearances are as they’ve
+
+been and I think–
+
+SAM: I have one more thing. A quick shoutout to a
+critter named Carol who is an awesome fantasy
+
+writer and friend of the show. She’s been feeling
+a little under the weather but she’s been watching
+
+our new campaign and I wanted to wish her a speedy
+recovery and thanks for watching.
+
+MATT: Love to you, Carol. All right guys, without
+further ado, let’s dive into tonight episode of
+
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Welcome back. The DM will remember that.
+
+LIAM: Are we doing a show right now?
+
+MATT: We are.
+
+LIAM: (whimpering) Okay.
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Last we left off: The group of
+adventures in seeking a warband of gnolls which
+
+had attacked the city of Alfield they were passing
+through on their way to Zadash. Began to track
+
+them as to where they had retrieved a number of
+bodies, both dead and living of the civilians of
+
+the town and taken them with them. You eventually
+track them to an abandoned mine a number of miles
+
+away from the city to the northeast. You entered,
+narrowly missed a trap or two, managed to recover
+
+a couple of interesting items, delved off to the
+left side during the first divide of pathways, and
+
+came upon some sort of small ritual with a number
+of gnolls and some humanoid figure wearing bits of
+
+gnoll as an armor or cloak. Doing a ritual– after
+he had left along with the previously armored
+
+gnoll that you had battled during the incursion at
+Alfield. You tore into a number of hyenas and
+
+gnolls that remained within the chamber and upon
+defeating them, took a moment to take a breath,
+
+get your bearings before hearing a muffled boom in
+the distance, some sort a low vocalization, some
+
+cackling, and eventually the scream of a woman
+saying, “No, my baby!” You began to run and give
+
+chase. That is where we’re picking up this week.
+Grabbing your weapons and keeping your mettle
+
+about you, you charge further down the tunnel. The
+shaft curves to the right in a wide spiral about a
+
+few dozen– there we go. What was that?
+
+TRAVIS: The shaft curves to the right.
+
+SAM: You said “The sha–” and she laughed. Like
+before you were done with the word shaft.
+
+LAURA: Because the shaft curves to the right,
+y'all.
+
+LIAM: It’s her psychic power.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s usually to the left, but whatever.
+
+MATT: It’s okay.
+
+SAM: Not from her perspective.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Boom!
+
+MARISHA: That’s fair.
+
+TRAVIS: Too fast! Like a fencer! That was
+amazing!
+
+LAURA: Only you.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Walked into that one.
+
+LIAM: Well.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Life or death. Here we go.
+
+MATT: The tunnel continues in a wide spiral before
+eventually snaking a bit–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: You’re an asshole.
+
+MATT: –before sharply turning to the right. The
+tunnel straightens out before emerging into a
+
+chamber of– goddamn it guys, this is serious!
+Lives are at stake here. Okay.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: What were you going to say?
+
+TRAVIS: You got it. We’re with you. Life or
+death.
+
+SAM: The path–
+
+MATT: The tunnel straightens out before emerging
+into a chamber of mixed natural rock walls and
+
+simple stone work. Two other tunnels mark this
+chamber as a Y intersection or like a second
+
+common room. Similar to the one you that you
+originally encountered when you entered the mine.
+
+Tables and stools are strewn about the area, with
+a pair of hyenas currently picking at junk for
+
+scraps. You see bits of meat that are being
+dragged across the ground by them about 20 feet
+
+off to the left. Two thick natural pillars of rock
+currently stand as load bearing portions of the
+
+chamber breaking the open space while a crumpled
+section of the floor drops into a pit below. Two
+
+closed doors, to the left of where you’re looking
+into it, are guarded by a skeletal gnoll and two
+
+standard gnoll warriors, one of which has
+apparently pulled a small child from one of the
+
+doors. The sound of muffled cries coming from
+beyond the closed door. Four other gnolls rush
+
+from within the chamber into the right tunnel
+exiting on the opposite side. What do you guys
+
+do?
+
+MARISHA: Four to the right?
+
+MATT: You watch as four of them rush into the
+other exit. There’s an exit to the left and an
+
+exit to the right. They exit the room to the right
+and then there’s three left: two regular–
+
+MATT, TRAVIS, and MARISHA: (singing) Regular
+gnolls!
+
+MATT: –and then one skeletal gnoll and then two
+hyenas that are currently picking at scraps. You
+
+can see as the gnoll pulls the child out, is
+currently in the process of crying and they’re
+
+both looking at each other like– still holding
+the child by the arm essentially– but currently
+
+is bickering with the other gnoll.
+
+LIAM: From our vantage point, it is the entrance
+that we’re at and then there is doors to the
+
+left–?
+
+MATT: Let me go ahead and give you a visual.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) Visual aid, visual aid.
+
+LIAM, TRAVIS, AND MARISHA: (singing) Visual aid,
+visual aid.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! If this is like a running thing this
+whole campaign–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, there’s no getting away from this.
+
+(laughter)
+
+(Oohs and ahs)
+
+LAURA: Look at that opening, it’s so cool
+looking!
+
+SAM: Where are we?
+
+MATT: You guys are entering from this side.
+
+LAURA: Oh that’s a little door? That’s the door
+you we’re talking about?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: There’s too many options!
+
+MATT: Essentially, over here– You can place
+yourselves as you feel necessary. Off to this
+
+side, in whichever marching order you prefer.
+
+LIAM: I will be at the rear.
+
+MATT: I figured as much.
+
+LAURA: How old is the child that got pulled out of
+the room?
+
+MATT: At first glance, it’s hard to see,
+especially for those of you who are keeping their
+
+light low, because there is no light source in the
+chamber. Those with dark vision will be making out
+
+most of the details here.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll be up front. I can do that.
+
+MATT: All right, that would put Fjord up at the
+front.
+
+LAURA: I’ll be behind Fjord.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I can’t see shit.
+
+MATT: Given this, you guys are deciding what to
+do. There’s, in a brief moment of quiet, a loud
+
+boom that shakes the interior of the chamber. You
+watch as both the hyenas (squeal) look up, scared.
+
+The two gnolls immediately look about. Dust and
+rocks begin to settle and fall from the ceiling as
+
+it shakes and then comes to rest. A moment later,
+a cloud of dust and smoke comes billowing out this
+
+side of the chamber where the four gnolls had run
+previously. Then the rumbling settles. The gnolls
+
+themselves are spooked. Then, distracted from the
+child at the moment, both peeking over, the undead
+
+gnoll stands there glancing about, seeming
+unaffected by the current scenario. Passive
+
+perception, the highest on this would be
+Beauregard, Caleb, Molly, and Jester, I believe.
+
+Actually, Caleb and Beauregard would not, because
+they don’t see anything. You guys hear sounds, and
+
+you’re waiting for any inclination of light to
+kick in.
+
+LAURA: What do we see, though?
+
+MATT: You guys see the faint appearance of some
+sort of a flying creature, very small, emerge from
+
+the tunnel that had recently expelled all this
+dust and smoke.
+
+LAURA: Frumpkin size or smaller?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin size. (humming) It hovers in the
+air in a few places, and then locks itself over
+
+here onto this far wall, on a higher perch.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking bugs.
+
+LAURA: Did you see that?
+
+TALIESIN: I think I saw that. Did you see that?
+
+LAURA: I saw that.
+
+MATT: (snarl) Another moment passes, and the
+gnolls relax. You watch as the immediate dread of
+
+the recent explosion sound, the shocking and
+rocking of the room, seems to have passed over
+
+them. They both go back to paying attention to
+their recent vicinity, which includes the small
+
+child, which is still quietly sobbing in the
+painful grasp of this large curled gnoll hand.
+
+TALIESIN: On the count of three?
+
+SAM: Wait, are we just going to attack?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: We should distract them–!
+
+LAURA: Radiant blast!
+
+SAM: Oh, Jesus.
+
+LAURA: Sacred Flame, I mean.
+
+MATT: All right. The ones who are making the
+initial strike on this–
+
+SAM: I could distract them or something first!
+
+TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast for me, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I will also do that as well, following suit
+with everybody.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, are things happening?
+
+LAURA: Don’t hit the kid!
+
+MARISHA: We can’t see! Do you have your lights?
+
+MATT: Caleb, you don’t see anything.
+
+LIAM: Oh, okay.
+
+MATT: The ones who can see in the dark right now,
+which would be the four of you, you guys get a
+
+round of attack on this.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+MATT: Where you’re currently positioned, I would
+like you all to roll initiative before we get to
+
+your round, just so we have it.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, first roll of the night! Be
+fucking amazing.
+
+TALIESIN: Yay!
+
+MATT: Not so much?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve had better.
+
+MATT: All righty. So–
+
+SAM: I’m not drunk anymore, right?
+
+MATT: No, that’s worn off.
+
+LIAM: Great. How about Nott?
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+SAM: 24.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: All right. 20 to 15.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+LAURA: But you can’t see, Beau.
+
+MATT: She’s missing the initial round.
+
+LAURA: Oh, this is for the whole thing.
+
+MATT: Correct. This is just general combat.
+
+LAURA: If I’d have known that, I would have rolled
+better for the whole thing.
+
+MATT: That’s true. Sorry about that. That’s okay.
+
+LAURA: I wasn’t trying so hard.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+LAURA: Ten.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very adequate.
+
+LIAM: I have rolled a nine.
+
+TALIESIN: This is going to be the thing for the
+entire campaign. This is going to be the joke that
+
+never goes away. Nein!
+
+LIAM: (singing) Regular gnoll, regular gnoll.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, oh no.
+
+LIAM: That’s it. Just nine and regular gnoll,
+that’s all that we have. That’s campaign two,
+
+ladies and gentlemen.
+
+MATT: That leaves– you rolled a what?
+
+TRAVIS: An eight.
+
+MARISHA: Nines and gnolls. That’s our group name,
+you guys.
+
+TALIESIN: No! Don’t joke, don’t ever.
+
+SAM: It’s one of the best rolls you can make in
+the game. What is our initiative shit?
+
+LAURA: Ah!
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re up first.
+
+SAM: Okay, but I didn’t see, and you guys decided
+to attack first. I will grace you going first if
+
+you prefer.
+
+LAURA: You’re going to hold your turn?
+
+MATT: You feel the tension rising and you’re like,
+I’ll follow their lead.
+
+SAM: Does that mean I still get to move and shit
+when I do my move?
+
+MATT: That means you’re holding your action.
+
+SAM: Then I’ll go now. Because they’re more than
+30 feet away, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You can see what’s out there, you just
+don’t notice the bird.
+
+SAM: Hand crossbow, it says 30/120. I’ve got to be
+within 30 to hit them without disadvantage, right?
+
+If I run out there, they’ll see me and I won’t be
+sneak attack anymore, right? How does this work?
+
+MATT: If they don’t know you’re there, which this
+is currently what’s considered an ambush round,
+
+you still have advantage on your first strike if
+they’re not aware of your presence. Which means it
+
+would cancel out that disadvantage.
+
+SAM: I can take my shot from here.
+
+MATT: You can, yes.
+
+SAM: All right. I will fire.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Ooh! 17 plus a lot. Six! 17 plus six to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. You do not get sneak attack on
+this because you do not have advantage on the
+
+strike.
+
+SAM: I thought you just said I had advantage!
+
+MATT: You had advantage, but you have disadvantage
+because they’re beyond the–
+
+LIAM: It cancelled out your advantage. It’s just a
+straight roll and you lost the sneak attack.
+
+SAM: Could I run forward and still get the sneak
+attack?
+
+MATT: You could try it.
+
+SAM: That’s what I will do. Undo.
+
+LAURA: Roll again, because you might get natural
+20!
+
+SAM: Now I have to roll for stealth, right?
+
+MATT: You’ve been stealthed as you crept up on
+this from the last time, so go for it.
+
+SAM: I’m rolling to hit?
+
+MATT: You already hit on that.
+
+LAURA: Roll again for advantage, you might get a
+20.
+
+SAM: Okay. Still 17 plus six.
+
+MATT: Now you get a sneak attack, go for it.
+
+SAM: Cool.
+
+LAURA: Did you find it?
+
+MARISHA: I did! It was nowhere it should have
+been.
+
+SAM: 11 points. Not very good rolls.
+
+TRAVIS: Which one are you aiming at?
+
+MATT: Not bad, either.
+
+SAM: The one that’s holding the child.
+
+MATT: As it’s holding the child and it’s looking
+down at the young boy, lifting it off the ground
+
+and bringing it towards its jaws as its teeth open
+wide, its lips curl back like it’s ready to take a
+
+quick little nibble of the child’s arm. Suddenly
+the bolt hits it in the side of the jaw and it’s
+
+sticking out. (squeal, snarl) It starts looking
+over in your direction and it looks right towards
+
+you. (growl)
+
+SAM: Can I use my regular– regular gnoll. Do I
+have remaining movement as a bonus?
+
+MATT: No, it’s your full movement to get there.
+Bonus action you can dash if you want to.
+
+SAM: Yes. I will dash away, but I can’t hide. I
+will dash behind those rocks to my right.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: Yes. In those skulls or anywhere around
+there.
+
+MATT: That works fine there. Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: She can’t see shit.
+
+LAURA: I’m not Beau.
+
+MATT: Sorry. Beau, you lose your turn. It’s been a
+long day, I’m sorry. Molly, you’re up next.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run straight in, take a
+look around. Is the undead one the closest one to
+
+me?
+
+MATT: It is, yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Push me a little more against the wall.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, over there. I’m going to hit that
+undead one with Vicious Mockery. Actually, I’m
+
+going to hit the one that has the kid with Vicious
+Mockery, not the undead one.
+
+MATT: Okay. Same roll, puts him at a two, natural
+roll, so he’s affected by it.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh that’s right, I don’t have to roll to
+hit. Just a wisdom saving throw. That’s three
+
+points of damage.
+
+MATT: All right, and he has disadvantage on his
+next attack roll.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. (rasping) Drop the child!
+
+TRAVIS: Jesus Christ.
+
+TALIESIN: Get used to it.
+
+MATT: The skeletal gnoll turns to you (cracking).
+It seems to hear it and there’s something about
+
+the speech and the connection to this entity that
+cause it to shudder for a moment. That ends your
+
+turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. I’m holding waiting for them.
+
+MATT: Next up is Beau. Wait, no. Sorry. That’s my
+problem, I wrote Beau twice on this.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m the only other one that can see.
+
+LAURA: I’m Beau number two!
+
+MATT: Jester and then you.
+
+LAURA: I lied! I am not going to do the Sacred
+Flame, I’m going to do Toll the Dead because
+
+that’s a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: Okay! Toll the Dead to which one?
+
+LAURA: To the one holding the kid.
+
+MATT: All righty. Constitution saving throw?
+
+LAURA: That’s a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: That is going to put him at a 15.
+
+LAURA: Aw, he saves.
+
+MATT: Sorry. As it seems to ring within its head,
+the impact of the necromantic magic, currently
+
+still reeling from the pain in the throat from the
+bolt, it seems to shrug it off, unaffected. Then
+
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: (rasping) Next time I’m going to really
+hurt you! I said that in Infernal.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: Which one of them is the undead looking
+gnoll?
+
+MATT: Right there.
+
+TRAVIS: That guy. I would like to aim at the dude
+on the right, the one closest to you, and I will
+
+carry over my Hex that is still up since it lasts
+an hour, so for my bonus action I will cast Hex on
+
+that motherfuck.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TRAVIS: I would like to use Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Roll for the attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus six, that’s a 20.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. This is a 1d10 plus four. That’s 11
+plus five points of necrotic damage for 16 total.
+
+MATT: 16 points of damage, all right. As it’s
+standing on this upper portion of the rock floor,
+
+it glances back as you guys enter. You guys see a
+flash of light from the arcing of the arcane
+
+energy as it streaks across and slams into its
+body just in time to see another shadowed shape
+
+emerging out of this tunnel to join the fray. As
+it falls back (snarling, chattering). That’s going
+
+to end the initial round of combat. Now we’re into
+the initiative order. At the top of this, you guys
+
+glance over and the four of you, at least, see
+this shape begin to emerge from around the wall.
+
+You see this tall, spindly humanoid figure that
+begins to curve around the side. Khary, if you
+
+want to join the table.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Spindly, what?
+
+MATT: If I can have you roll initiative when you
+get settled in there.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, man, I don’t even know what that
+means!
+
+LAURA: I’ve got to see this dice as you roll it.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want a dice tray, Khary? We have
+an extra one down here.
+
+KHARY: Oh my goodness, look at this!
+
+MARISHA: Look at that.
+
+TRAVIS: The luxurious life.
+
+LIAM: Welcome, friend! Welcome!
+
+KHARY: This is the first time this dice has been
+rolled, ladies and gentlemen.
+
+TRAVIS: Do it.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a christening roll!
+
+LIAM: It’s a one!
+
+KHARY: It’s a one?
+
+TRAVIS: Welcome! Welcome!
+
+LIAM: One of us! One of us!
+
+[laughing]
+
+KHARY: Thanks for having me, guys. I’ll just be
+taking this.
+
+LIAM: Storytelling!
+
+LAURA: You weren’t even rolling those dice?
+
+KHARY: Yes. All right, here we go.
+
+MATT: You, having succeeded at some of your other
+business, begin to creep further into these
+
+tunnels and suddenly see a cluster of unidentified
+individuals rushing in here and attacking these
+
+gnolls in front of you and the surprise of it
+apparently puts you off for the moment.
+
+KHARY: Just a little.
+
+MATT: We’ll come to you in just a moment. Good to
+know. At the top of the combat round, Nott, you’re
+
+up first.
+
+SAM: That was it? We cycled through a whole round
+of combat?
+
+MATT: The surprise round. The humans can’t see
+anything, unfortunately. Everything you’ll be
+
+doing will be at disadvantage after this point.
+
+SAM: I’ll have to move. I’ll lean around to get
+around that stalagtite.
+
+MATT: Around here?
+
+SAM: No, just so I can get an eyeline on the one I
+already shot once.
+
+MATT: Back over here?
+
+SAM: Yeah. Anywhere. I’m going to move right back
+in a second. I’ll lean around, reload. Oh, god!
+
+Fire again.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Do I get sneak attack? No, right?
+
+MATT: No, because you’re not hidden.
+
+SAM: Shitballs. 20 to hit.
+
+MATT: 20 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. That’ll do it,
+actually. As it’s holding the child and lifting it
+
+up by the arm in the air, it looks like it’s ready
+to run away and grab it with it. As it turns to
+
+flee, you catch it in the base of the skull and it
+falls to the ground. The child falls prone onto
+
+the floor next to the now lifeless gnoll body.
+
+SAM: What does the child look like? He or she?
+It’s a boy?
+
+MATT: It looks to be a young boy, probably between
+six and eight years old. You’re not quite sure of
+
+the age.
+
+SAM: And human, I don’t know anything about. Is it
+injured?
+
+MATT: You haven’t got a strong bead on it but he
+looks to be humanoid.
+
+MARISHA: Six or eight years old?
+
+MATT: Around that age group, you’d assume.
+
+TALIESIN: Some would say seven.
+
+LAURA: Yes! The field is ours now!
+
+SAM: No! I’m too scared to go over there. No,
+there’s a child in need. We’ve got to help.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re sober now, right?
+
+SAM: Yeah. Nott’s going to scurry over to the boy
+as fast as she can scurry.
+
+MATT: 30, and then you can use your bonus action
+to dash if you want to.
+
+SAM: Yep, all the way to the little boy.
+
+MATT: That’ll do it. You can get right to the
+little boy.
+
+SAM: (screech)
+
+MATT: As you run up, the little boy’s like,
+(screaming) Just starts screaming bloody murder in
+
+the tunnel.
+
+[laughing]
+
+SAM: I’m good! I’m a good one! I’m good!
+
+MATT: (screaming) He starts crying even louder,
+somehow scared of you more than the gnoll.
+
+[screaming]
+
+LAURA: Now it’s a horror movie.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn, Nott. Beau, you’re up.
+You’re hearing all these sounds, but you can’t see
+
+anything.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to turn to Caleb and be like:
+Can you do the thing? The lights?
+
+LIAM: Get back to me in a second, in about nine
+seconds.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to wait until he casts Dancing
+Lights.
+
+MATT: You can’t move in there if you hold your
+action, but you can move in and then hold your
+
+action if you want to. You’re just not quite sure
+where you’re walking.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Sure. I will stumble forward. I
+will head towards Molly because I’m going to
+
+follow his fluorescent purple coat.
+
+TRAVIS: Just doing this?
+
+MARISHA: Molly! Molly!
+
+MATT: He’s easy to see because Molly has this
+faint, luminous glow around the sword from his
+
+right. You see that as a beacon. You’re like,
+“That I know, that I can follow.” You cozy up
+
+right next to Molly and carefully prepare
+yourself.
+
+MARISHA: Where are they?
+
+MATT: What action are you holding? If any.
+
+MARISHA: I– Because I moved and I’m not near
+anything.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: So I’ll take the Dodge action.
+
+MATT: Okay. Dodge action. You’re just being
+careful. All right, ending Beau’s turn, Molly,
+
+you’re up again.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to rush the undead one.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Spinning swords at bloody high speed and
+take two shots.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Do you want to be on the higher
+ground here or–?
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh! Can I do the higher ground?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll do the higher ground. That’s
+exciting.
+
+LIAM: Now taking the stage, it’s Mollymauk!
+
+TALIESIN: That sucks! I’m taking your–
+
+LAURA: I was trying to help!
+
+TALIESIN: Nope!
+
+MATT: And your off-hand?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a 15.
+
+MATT: 15 does hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. Yep. No. That’s at least eight
+points of damage.
+
+LAURA: That’s great!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay. That’s okay. I’m now
+engaged in combat with him, so that’s fine. I am
+
+whirling dervish that hits nothing at this point.
+
+SAM: As per usual.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m a hippie with poi right now. Might
+as well be a pair of pois. Wah! Wah!
+
+MATT: Good to know. End of Molly’s turn, Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Oh! Okay. I’m going to move forward into
+the room. To about, yeah, there’s good, sure. I’m
+
+going to try it again. Did the guy up there get
+hurt at all?
+
+MATT: Yeah, he’s been damaged, yes.
+
+LAURA: Yes? Then I’m going to cast Toll the Dead
+at him.
+
+MATT: All right. That is a 14.
+
+LAURA: Fucking A, piece of shit!
+
+TRAVIS: What’s the save?
+
+LAURA: It’s 13 because I’m lame!
+
+MATT: Sorry. As you try and release the energy
+once more, it can’t quite get a bead on the
+
+gnoll’s head. It’s moving around and dodging and
+you can’t focus on it.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to start unsnapping my sickle to
+get it out to hit things.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re fussing with this side,
+that’s the end of your turn. All right. Caleb,
+
+you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I cannot see anything, so I cast Dancing
+Lights. I put one above my head and as soon as I
+
+get a little bit of light, I send one over Beau’s
+head and then I send one about 20 feet beyond Beau
+
+and then the fourth one, even beyond that one so
+there’s a line of four lights because I don’t know
+
+what the chamber is shaped like.
+
+MATT: The chamber erupts into bright light like
+there’s four torches now lifting brightly at the
+
+entire space.
+
+TRAVIS: Ah, god!
+
+MATT: Bright visuals there, you can now see the
+child on the ground being scared shitless by the
+
+goblin trying to help. The undead gnoll that’s
+currently locked in combat with Molly. You see the
+
+two hyenas that are both snarling and getting
+ready to pounce on whoever comes too close. The
+
+one wounded gnoll over there. As well as, if you’d
+like to describe yourself.
+
+(exclamations of excitement)
+
+SAM: Where is he?
+
+LIAM: You know, Matthew, the guiding lights, those
+little ’“foomphs” of light, they only have a
+
+10-foot radius, so probably the edges of the line
+that I have cast just barely makes it flame.
+
+MARISHA: They’re like market lights so it’s
+pretty. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Of course. It is, of course, pretty. Never
+mind, just continue.
+
+MATT: Yes. So.
+
+KHARY: The thing you probably notice about me,
+first of all–
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (high-pitched) Ooh!
+
+SAM: No. You can’t have a better accent than all
+of us.
+
+KHARY: –is my hair. My billowy, white afro.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes!
+
+KHARY: Fingers of curly hair radiating in all
+directions. That should be the thing that you
+
+notice first about me but that’s not it. It’s my
+eyes. My eyes, as white as my hair. My pupil-less
+
+eyes as white as my hair. As white as the hair
+dripping down from my chin to a straight point
+
+about three or four inches below. I think that’s
+all you really notice.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit!
+
+MATT: Caleb, do you wish to move?
+
+MARISHA: I’m in love. What?
+
+MATT: Caleb, do you wish to move?
+
+MARISHA: Oh!
+
+LIAM: Oh. Fuck that. I will stay where I am. No,
+thank you.
+
+MATT: All right. Fjord and the gnoll going at the
+same time. What are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast again at that motherfuck.
+
+MATT: As this gnoll here has taken the impact is
+going to rush over towards Mollymauk to attempt to
+
+take a strike. While another gnoll who’s bloodied
+and partially crushed is now hobbling its way up
+
+out of this tunnel and spins around to see you up
+against the side of the wall (growls and yips).
+
+All right, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: 16 plus six, so 22?
+
+MATT: That hits. The gnoll’s going to be striking
+you. That’s a three, that’s not going to happen.
+
+No.
+
+TRAVIS: Eight plus four is 12 plus four points of
+necrotic for 16 total points of damage.
+
+MATT: All right. The reason it misses is right as
+it swings towards you, Fjord raises the back of
+
+the sword and fires a blast of eldritch energy
+that hits the back of the gnoll’s shoulder as it
+
+tries to spin and strike you. As it does, it goes
+wide. It pirouettes on its foot and stumbles back
+
+into the open hole. (high-pitched yell)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, there’s an open fucking hole?! That’s
+good to know! Oh, shit!
+
+MATT: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: Did you hear the sound go (high-pitched
+yell)? So it’s not ten feet, it’s big.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Good to know! Fuck.
+
+MATT: You’re a ways away. It’s hard to see.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Described your initial description of the
+room, though, so now you know. As you, who has not
+
+given your name yet, but you turn around and see
+this gnoll as it looks towards you. It’s leaning
+
+towards– normally, it would be seven-foot, but
+it’s hunched and wounded and as it turns down, it
+
+snarls. Takes its spear and attempts to pin you to
+the wall a bit. That’s going to be a 12. What’s
+
+your armor class?
+
+KHARY: My armor class is– what is it? It’s 15.
+
+MATT: 15? It does not hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+MATT: As it swings, you push out of the way in
+time, parrying it with your hand and your cane off
+
+to the side and it smacks into the stone and
+sparks off of it for a second, hitting flint. All
+
+right, that ends the gnolls’ turn. The hyenas go.
+Both of these hyenas now, turning around and
+
+seeing what’s happening are going to rush forward.
+This one is going to run up alongside and attack
+
+Molly. This one is going to rush over to Nott.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: Attacking Molly, that’s going to be a 16 to
+hit?
+
+TALIESIN: That hits.
+
+MATT: All right. It’s going to be–
+
+TRAVIS: Dance harder, dance harder!
+
+MATT: –two points of piercing damage. As it snaps
+up and bites the edge of your foot, you have to
+
+kick and shake it off on the rocks to get it to
+let go. The one that’s striking towards you, Nott,
+
+that’s going to be an 18 to hit?
+
+SAM: Hits!
+
+MATT: You take only one point of piercing damage.
+It gets one little bite on the side of your elbow
+
+and you immediately pull away and kick it
+instinctually in the chin, going (yelps). The kid
+
+is now freaking out of his mind as now there’s,
+from his perspective, two snarling beasts
+
+cornering in. That’s going to end the hyenas’
+turn. All right. Your go.
+
+KHARY: I would say, if this thing is this close to
+me.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s right up against you.
+
+KHARY: It’s right up against me. I think I should
+push him away.
+
+MATT: If you feel the need, yeah.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. Thunderwave?
+
+MATT: Certainly!
+
+SAM: Skadoosh.
+
+MATT: Is that a wisdom saving throw or
+constitution–?
+
+LIAM: It’s a constitution save.
+
+KHARY: That is a constitution save.
+
+MATT: That is a three. A natural two plus,
+actually plus zero. So two.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, that fails.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that fails.
+
+SAM: Your spellcasting modifier–
+
+TRAVIS: He rolled a two, you’re fine.
+
+LIAM: 15!
+
+KHARY: 15. It failed. Ah. Well, great.
+
+MATT: 13, I believe. All right, cool. Go ahead and
+roll the damage of that.
+
+KHARY: With this?
+
+MATT: Well, it should say it on the spell there.
+
+MARISHA: I think it’s 2d8?
+
+LIAM: Thunderwave is 2d8. Yeah. 2d8 there. You
+want the one that’s shaped like a diamond. Here it
+
+is. Yeah. That’s good and then roll one more time.
+Oh, that’s good!
+
+KHARY: Five and seven?
+
+TRAVIS: 12. Damn!
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage! As you turn towards it,
+describe what you do with your spell as the gnoll
+
+pulls back with its spear.
+
+KHARY: I take my reed of a wand and whip it. Three
+times.
+
+MATT: (whipping sounds) As the third one hits,
+there’s a burst of energy forward. You watch as
+
+the gnoll gets blown back, slamming into the stone
+wall and falls back to its knees before getting
+
+itself up. It was previously wounded, now it’s on
+death’s door. It looks like it’s starting to
+
+hobble and try and flee.
+
+TRAVIS: Would you say you whip your reed back and
+forth? You whip your reed back and forth?
+
+KHARY: I do. I whip my reed. I whip my reed back
+and forth.
+
+MATT: Do you wish to move?
+
+KHARY: I do. I wish to move away from this
+gentleman that I just knocked against a wall and
+
+how about we take a perch on top of– there we go,
+baby.
+
+LIAM: Oh, look at that fucking miniature!
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: So cool!
+
+MATT: That finishes your turn. At the top, Nott,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ve got this thing on my arm? So with
+my other hand, I will (high-pitched whimpering)
+
+grab its face (normal voice) and I will say a few
+a words that Caleb told me and cast Shocking Grasp
+
+on it!
+
+MATT: Okay! What is the spell save on that?
+
+SAM: Shit, how do I find out? You click on it.
+
+MATT: Oh, it’s a spell melee attack. So go and
+roll–
+
+SAM: Ooh! Nine.
+
+MATT: No. You try and reach out, but the snout is
+too slobbery and your hand slips off of it and it
+
+discharges the spell having no effect.
+
+SAM: (yelps)
+
+MATT: (yips)
+
+SAM: Oh, god.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: Let’s see here. I’ve still got some bonus-y
+stuff. Can I disengage? No, because–
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ll disengage, grab the boy, and try
+to lead him behind the– there’s an overturned
+
+table?
+
+MATT: There is an overturned table. Yeah, these
+are overturned tables over here.
+
+SAM: Like right there.
+
+MATT: Oh, right next to you. Yeah, you’re right.
+Right there.
+
+SAM: Can I do that?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Will the hyena get a bite on the kid?
+
+SAM: We’ll find out.
+
+MATT: As you drag the child away, while you’ve
+disengaged, you pull the child out of the range of
+
+the hyena and it sees the opening and snaps out
+towards–
+
+LAURA: Children have no hit points!
+
+SAM: I’m sure this one is hardy.
+
+MATT: (chuckles)
+
+LIAM: (singing) Careful, the kids you pull.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Hyenas will bite them.
+
+MATT: The hyena bites down and its jaws clamp into
+the child’s clavicle and chest. You hear this
+
+clenched scream that’s immediately muffled as you
+watch a bit of blood begin to pour out of the side
+
+of his mouth. As you pull the child from its jaws,
+the child is alive. For now. Unconscious and
+
+bleeding out.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MARISHA: Thank god it wasn’t me this time.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Nott. Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, seeing the situation that Nott is
+in, I’m going to immediately run over and attack
+
+that hyena.
+
+MATT: Putting you there easy enough.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just going to run up and go, “Yeah,
+get!” Go kick and just kick it real hard.
+
+TRAVIS: G-I-T.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Git!
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS: That it is.
+
+MATT: Roll some damage.
+
+MARISHA: I use my staff as a little bit like a
+jumping leverage point to give me a little bit of
+
+momentum and–
+
+TRAVIS: Mini pole-vaulting?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. What do I do? I roll 1d8 and then
+double it. That sucks, but that’s six plus four,
+
+so ten.
+
+MATT: That’s enough to do it. As you kick, the
+hyena gets launched and arc through the air,
+
+slamming into this table which busts it up against
+the wall onto its side and you can’t even see the
+
+lifeless body of the hyena. It’s currently buried
+beneath the overturned table. That’s your first–
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a bonus action to use my med kit
+on the kid? My healer’s kit?
+
+MATT: It’s an action to use a healer’s kit,
+unfortunately. You still have some movement.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll just move over to the kid and hold
+the wound.
+
+TRAVIS: Stem the flow?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you get down with Nott at this
+point and you’re trying to think of some way to
+
+apply pressure to prevent the bleeding. Okay, that
+ends your turn. That brings us to Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking a roll at the big guy. First
+strike.
+
+MATT: That’s right, I forgot to put the undead guy
+on the initiative order which he would have gotten
+
+a round. We’ll say you and him go simultaneously
+at this point since you engaged him.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fine because that’s a 19 to hit?
+
+MATT: That’s a 13 to hit you. What’s your armor
+class?
+
+TALIESIN: 15.
+
+MATT: Yeah, even as it goes to strike at you with
+some sort of rusted battleaxe, you still manage to
+
+lift your foot out of the way and strike down
+towards it.
+
+TALIESIN: This is with the good sword, so this–
+ooh, so this is (counting) 13 points of damage?
+
+MATT: That’s adding your wisdom modifier?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s adding my wisdom.
+
+MATT: That’ll do it. You shatter it with a strike.
+As it attempts to swing towards you with the axe,
+
+you duck out of the way, spin around, and backhand
+it with your right enchanted scimitar, watching
+
+the bones (boom) explode and scatter across the
+ground. Like so many pebbles being thrown across
+
+the floor.
+
+TALIESIN: With my off-hand, I’m going to take a
+swipe for the hyena over there.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Come on. There we go! 20 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s good to dispatch two in one turn.
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nine points of damage. I would
+love to just kick that fucker right into the–
+
+MATT: Yeah, you do.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+MATT: It gets down and jumps to pounce towards you
+and you lean back and kick it and it tumbles down
+
+to the darkness below. You wish to move?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to move to the other side. I’m
+going to start running towards the stranger just
+
+to the left of– yeah, I’m going to move towards
+that cover right there.
+
+MATT: Here?
+
+TALIESIN: No, the other way. Towards me. Right
+there, yeah.
+
+MATT: Gotcha. That ends your go, Molly. That
+brings us to Jester.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Did I see the child go down?
+
+MATT: You would’ve, yes.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Then I am going to run over to the
+kid.
+
+SAM: You don’t have to.
+
+Just kill– the kid’s gonna live.
+
+LAURA: No, all these other people are helping this
+kid, so I guess I will too. Somebody better kill
+
+that big gnoll, though.
+
+SAM: Do you really care about the kid?
+
+LAURA: I don’t.
+
+SAM: Then don’t help.
+
+LAURA: I don’t care but now I feel guilty.
+
+MATT: Are you going to healer’s kit, Cure Wounds,
+what are you doing?
+
+LAURA: Should I use my last spell on this kid?
+
+SAM: Hells no!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use a healer’s kit to
+stabilize him.
+
+MATT: You don’t have to make a check for that. You
+get down and start pulling heavy rolls of soft
+
+cotton fabric and various balms to help treat the
+wound, and help staunch the flow of blood and bind
+
+the child to the point where it’s no longer on
+death’s door.
+
+LAURA: The whole time I’m grumbling like: Oh I
+could have gotten that last Toll of the Dead! It
+
+would have heard a really good bell and instead
+I’m doing this!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Perfect, that ends Jester’s turn. Caleb,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Angry healing.
+
+LIAM: I cannot see anything except for Fjord, so
+if I move forward up to where he is, am I able to
+
+see any gnolls or any other kind of baddies where
+I am?
+
+MATT: Right there you can barely see the one
+across the way that’s on the ground getting up.
+
+LIAM: Then I’ll let my hand blacken and I will
+fire off a Fire Bolt at him from here. Which I’m
+
+sure will miss. Yeah it is. It misses.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: The call before it was clutch!
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+LIAM: I turn to Fjord as it misses and say: Eh,
+yeah.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Okay!
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got to get you glasses.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, Caleb needs glasses!
+
+MATT: Caleb needs glasses.
+
+LIAM: I have them, they’re right here!
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s turn.
+
+LAURA: A new prescription!
+
+LIAM: I need an intelligence bump is what I need.
+Boomp!
+
+MATT: The gnoll’s been wounded. It is going to
+take a–
+
+LAURA: Glasses make you smarter.
+
+MATT: He’s going to take a longbow off its and
+looking over and seeing the Fire Bolt that almost
+
+struck it, it’s going to spin back towards you and
+pull and arrow. It’s going to take a shot at you
+
+from across the way, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: What do you mean?
+
+MATT: This one remaining wounded gnoll is going to
+take a shot at you with its longbow. Just checking
+
+real fast.
+
+LAURA: Your scarf will protect you!
+
+MATT: Yeah, sure! You’re well within its first
+range increment.
+
+LIAM: I have a very high AC. It’s okay.
+
+MATT: That’s a natural 20.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god!
+
+MATT: However–
+
+SAM: However nothing.
+
+LIAM: Unload it, give it to me!
+
+MARISHA: He’s trying to find a positive.
+
+LIAM: No, don’t find a positive!
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s good actually! He rolled a one on
+the weapon die. It was a d8, it could have been a
+
+16. Two plus two, four points of piercing damage.
+That could have been a lot worse!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s pretty bad for him, though.
+
+LIAM: No, actually that hurts an awful lot.
+
+MATT: The gnoll released the arrow. As it hits you
+in the stomach, it comes piercing out the other
+
+side, pinning your jacket to you torso. You feel
+like the pain and the warm pulse up your back from
+
+the wound. It’s almost numb at first and then you
+feel the shock hit you as the gnoll turns and runs
+
+this way.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! I should have Tolled the Dead on
+him.
+
+MATT: And he’s way over there.
+
+That’s going to ends the gnoll’s turn while
+you’re going Fjord. Because you’re going in the
+
+same round as this is happening, so you
+technically could intercept.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to get line of sight on him. I
+look back at Caleb with his failed attempts and
+
+say: Let me try mine. I’ll move my Hex over to
+him.
+
+MATT: The Hex is on him.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll fire an Eldritch Blast in his
+direction. That is only a 16.
+
+MATT: A 16? 16 hits, actually. You needed a 15 to
+hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Four plus four, eight. Plus three points
+of necrotic for 11 damage.
+
+MATT: As it turns with its bow, Fjord runs around.
+Holding your sword out, another burst of eldritch
+
+energy smacks into the back of the gnoll. You hear
+(screeches) as it falls to the ground and slow
+
+bits of curling green and blue eldritch flame
+begin to burn and consume the corpse before
+
+eventually it goes out, leaving most of the body
+intact. Its back shoulder blades now a black cave
+
+where its body once was.
+
+LIAM: You ganked him at the last second?
+
+LAURA: Someone bring me those ears and bring them
+to my jar!
+
+MATT: That being the case, the combat has come to
+an end.
+
+LAURA: How many gnolls was that we just killed?
+
+TRAVIS: Three.
+
+LIAM: Well don’t we send a lot of them down the
+hole. We didn’t get their ears. So bad job.
+
+LAURA: We only sent one down the hole.
+
+TRAVIS: We got two ears.
+
+MATT: Correct. They’re sets of ears. There’s the
+one there and then the one that was killed there.
+
+LAURA: Right and then, one hyena set.
+
+KHARY: I appreciate you all counting ears, but can
+we deal with the kid for a minute?
+
+SAM: He needs some help!
+
+LAURA: Do you see what I’m doing?
+
+SAM: Who are you?! Ah! Who are you?
+
+KHARY: I like your smile.
+
+(laughter)
+
+KHARY: Who am I? My name is Shakäste. Nice to meet
+you.
+
+SAM: (swooning) He said Shakäste.
+
+KHARY: You can thank my bird for knowing what you
+look like, actually.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I saw your bird!
+
+KHARY: That’s not just some bird. That’s the Grand
+Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna. They call her Stacy,
+
+but that’s not her name.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) The Grand Duchess.
+
+KHARY: The Grand Duchess. She’s a sweetheart, but
+she’s angry.
+
+LIAM: It is very dark in here, what kind of bird
+is that you have?
+
+KHARY: Oh, that would be an abrahum. That’s a
+dark, midnight hummingbird.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, you’re a badass, what’s your deal?
+
+KHARY: Well, right now my deal it to deal with
+this little person over here.
+
+LIAM: Yes, handle this child, but then we’re very
+curious to ask a couple– I’ll shut up.
+
+LAURA: Can you heal? Do you have healing? Because
+I’m stabilizing him don’t worry, but–
+
+SAM: He doesn’t look good.
+
+KHARY: I think I can maybe do something about
+that.
+
+MATT: Perhaps. The child is wounded, but the
+child’s wounds have been tended to. He’s
+
+unconscious, but is no longer in immediate danger
+of dying. He’ll eventually need rest.
+
+LAURA: And some doughnuts.
+
+MATT: Perhaps some doughnuts.
+
+LAURA: I take one and push it onto his face.
+
+TRAVIS: No, no! Fresh doughnuts! You know do no harm,
+all that shit?
+
+SAM: Can you do anything to help this guy?
+
+KHARY: Well he seemed to be stabilized. I think
+the best thing we could do is to get him to
+
+safety.
+
+TRAVIS: I agree. What were you doing down here? We
+ourselves were comin’ down trying to rescue folks.
+
+KHARY: I tend to look over the people who happen
+to be around here. I come by every once in a
+
+while. I used to live and grew up in this place,
+or in the valley not too far from here. Probably
+
+just like you, I heard a commotion. I’ve taken a
+few of these people to safety. I’ve been trying to
+
+do it less overtly than some of you.
+
+TRAVIS: We do make a bit of a clatter.
+
+LAURA: We’re working on it.
+
+SAM: Insight check!
+
+[laughter]
+
+11 plus, what am I adding? 13.
+
+MATT: 13. He’s generally pretty forthright in
+speech, charismatic figure, you don’t get any
+
+sense of any immediate lying or conflict to the
+words he’s saying. You’re also not getting a full
+
+read, either.
+
+SAM: How handsome is he?
+
+MATT: Quite handsome. If you’d like to describe
+how handsome you are.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, what do you look like?
+
+KHARY: I would say I’m an old–
+
+LAURA: On a scale from one to ten.
+
+KHARY: On a scale from one to ten, I would call
+him striking.
+
+SAM: Bachelorette finalist?
+
+[laughter]
+
+KHARY: You know what? I think he’s old enough that
+he’s gotten past all the bachelor-ing and the
+
+bachelorette-ing.
+
+LIAM: Are you a gray fox, is that what you are?
+
+KHARY: I would call him more of a shock of white.
+I mean, he’s a striking character. He’s got three
+
+dimples, one you can’t see. Two are pretty deep in
+his face and can be menacing, unless he’s
+
+smiling.
+
+LAURA: What are you wearing?
+
+KHARY: He’s covered in leather straps that are a
+tangle of brown and red and green that pretty much
+
+cover him from his neck to his calf where his
+boots start to take over. There’s a hood that he’s
+
+wearing, deep green. It goes down to his legs and
+a big enough hood that’s able to cover his ample
+
+locks.
+
+LIAM: Meanwhile everyone is talking to this
+stranger, I’m going to edge up to this hole in the
+
+ground and hold onto rocks because I’m scared to
+death. Look over and send my globules of light
+
+down there to see if it’s a deep hole, if it goes
+a long way, what am I looking at?
+
+MATT: As your lights begin to slowly drift down
+into the hole, they get about 50 or 60 feet down
+
+before you begin to see the bottom of the shaft. It
+looks to have been an intentionally created
+
+well-like hole that has since seen disuse.
+Currently ends into rocks and rubble.
+
+LAURA: It’s a poop hole!
+
+MATT: You see the broken body of a gnoll and the
+broken body of a hyena down at the bottom of it.
+
+LIAM: We have to get this gnoll out of the bottom
+of this hole because that’s gold.
+
+LAURA: He’s probably covered in really old poop.
+
+LIAM: It’s still good for the monetary value that
+was laid out for us, so maybe on the way out we
+
+could send– We have a rope we could lower you
+down and you could slice it off.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I could down there.
+
+LIAM: Not right now, save it for a rainy day.
+
+TRAVIS: Shakäste, my name is Fjord. We are, like I
+said, on a rescue mission. Are you familiar with
+
+these tunnels, at all? Have you been down here
+before?
+
+KHARY: Have I been down here before?
+
+MATT: The most you’ve been down was the opposite
+side of this tunnel here. There was a group up
+
+here where you had been working with previously,
+but only recently decided to delve deeper once you
+
+had made sure that those few were safe.
+
+KHARY: Right, right. Well, I’ve done a pretty good
+job of taking care of the other tentacle of this
+
+cavern, I guess you’d say.
+
+LAURA: Shaft.
+
+KHARY: Yes, the shaft. That’s a good way of
+putting it. That boom you may have heard happened
+
+to come from me, so we’ve got a little bit less to
+have to deal with. This, I really don’t know
+
+what’s going on.
+
+LAURA: Oh, speaking of, I stand up and I
+walk to the door where the little kid was pulled from.
+
+LIAM: Wait, Nott, do you want to let her take a look
+at it? In case it could blow up on you.
+
+SAM: I’ve seen their traps. I know their methods!
+
+LAURA: Are there any ropes across the door?
+
+SAM: Let me look! Are there?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Five. Plus five is ten.
+
+MATT: Best you can tell, it doesn’t appear to be
+trapped. It does have a simple latch that is only
+
+accessible from the outer side, but it is not
+locked.
+
+LAURA: I knock on the door. Housekeeping! Is
+anybody locked in here?
+
+MATT: A moment passes. There’s no response, but
+you hear the faint sniffing and whimpering of
+
+somebody on the other side.
+
+LAURA: I think it’s the mom.
+
+SAM: Let’s open the door.
+
+LAURA: Okay. (turning noise)
+
+MATT: You lift the small latch and pull the door
+open. First it hits you, a strong smell of decay.
+
+You see the back of this room is filled with piles
+of bodies or parts of bodies. It looks to be maybe
+
+four people in total that have been placed here.
+Then there’s one living woman, in her mid-thirties
+
+or so, who is wearing a dirtied apron. She’s
+covered in dirt. A spatter of blood, you don’t
+
+know if it’s from her or not. Her hair is ratted.
+She looks to be human. She’s currently huddled
+
+with her knees to her chest and there’s tear
+streaks down her face.
+
+SAM: Is the, is the– Oh, sorry, go on.
+
+KHARY: Can I walk to her?
+
+MATT: Yeah. As you open the door you watch as
+Shakäste begins to approach and take the space.
+
+KHARY: I look her in the eye. I put my hand on her
+chin, so that she looks me in the eye, and I tell
+
+her, shh. What does that make her feel?
+
+MATT: You watch as there’s a brief moment of
+confusion, and then an expression of
+
+acknowledgement comes across her face. She reaches
+up and takes your hand. She goes, “Thank you.
+
+Thank you.”
+
+KHARY: We need to get her out of here.
+
+LAURA: Yes. Definitely.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, this guy’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: He is. Smooth operator.
+
+SAM: Can I ask the woman, is this your child?
+
+MATT: She turns around, and she goes, “Oh my god!”
+She runs over to him and immediately picks him up
+
+into her arms and begins to hold him.
+
+LAURA: He’s alive, don’t worry.
+
+MATT: (crying) “Thank you. Thank you.” She’s
+rocking the child in her arms, quietly rubbing his
+
+face and wiping a bit of blood off of his cheeks.
+
+LAURA: Are there any other people that are alive
+that you know of?
+
+MATT: “There are a few. I haven’t seen, but I’ve
+heard voices across the way, and they took a
+
+number deeper in, before they locked me in.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Can we run over to the other door?
+
+TALIESIN: I was saying, if I’m not near the other
+door I’m going to start looking and unlatching it.
+
+Nonchalantly.
+
+MATT: You unlatch it. You watch as the mother,
+who’s currently running her fingers over the hair
+
+of the boy, says, “Jules, it’s okay. It’s okay,
+Jules.” She pulls him in. The other door, as you
+
+open it, a familiar sight. It looks like there’s
+three bodies in here. These bodies seem to be
+
+placed in here for some sort of storage, for the
+time being. There is one figure you can see, a man
+
+in his older years. Half-elven in appearance, his
+features are a little sharper, a little more
+
+elven, but not fully. His hair is dark-brown,
+black to gray, and salt and pepper on the sides.
+
+He looks as disheveled as the woman you just
+uncovered.
+
+LAURA: But he’s alive?
+
+MATT: He’s alive.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a personal question. Is there
+anyone alive in here right now?
+
+MATT: “I’m the only one.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh! Well, we’ll take it. I’m swinging
+the door open and coming in.
+
+MATT: You get up, and you can see now, there’s a
+large claw gash across his midsection that might
+
+be infected.
+
+TALIESIN: If you wait a second, it’s only getting
+better.
+
+MATT: “Who are you?”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that is a question. We’re here to
+help. Come on out.
+
+LAURA: We’re the rescue party.
+
+MARISHA: Is there anyone else that you were with
+that’s no longer with us in there?
+
+MATT: “I mean–” He points back and says, “I don’t
+know most of these folks, I was just passing
+
+through. We were bringing some of our armor-wares
+up to Zadash when we were waylaid on the road.
+
+MARISHA: You didn’t get taken from Alfield?
+
+MATT: “Oh, we were taken on the way to Alfield. We
+were almost there. They hit us right as they were
+
+reaching the city. We had no chance.”
+
+TALIESIN: You got hit on the way to the city, not
+in the raid on the city?
+
+MATT: “We were just arriving in Alfield when it
+hit.”
+
+LAURA: Bad timing.
+
+MATT: “You’re telling me.”
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get you out here, for a second.
+
+MATT: The woman has come up once again to–
+
+KHARY: I have a place for these people to go. It’s
+up on the surface.
+
+LAURA: They’re safe there?
+
+KHARY: They will be safe there.
+
+LAURA: Do you have a cart to get them back to
+Alfield?
+
+KHARY: Well, a cart was just the thing I was
+needing. What say we hang out?
+
+LAURA: All of us together, like a big party?
+
+KHARY: I’ve got nothing else to do.
+
+LAURA: I like it.
+
+TALIESIN: So many new friends lately.
+
+TRAVIS: I am concerned that there are more further
+on in these tunnels, but I think you’re right, we
+
+won’t be of any use to these people if we don’t
+get them to safety first.
+
+KHARY: Exactly.
+
+MARISHA: How far was that tunnel to the surface?
+We cleared out this side.
+
+KHARY: Have we lost our way from- or at least the
+way that I–
+
+MATT: That tunnel’s not operational.
+
+KHARY: That tunnel’s not operational. We’ve got
+two ways out here, I see.
+
+MATT: You have this way, which appears to go
+deeper into the mine.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, not that way, nope.
+
+MATT: This way, which backtracks where you guys
+come from.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the one.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we need to escort them or can we send
+them up to the surface?
+
+LIAM: You know what we could do? If we want to
+check this cave for more people, is that we could
+
+bring them up to the cart and I could do that one
+spell that I have that would let me know down here
+
+if anything is happening up there–
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. If the little bell goes off in my head
+then I know that either that something’s coming out–
+
+LAURA: The good bell, not the bad bell.
+
+LIAM: The good kind, ja. We would know, more or less,
+not 100 percent perfect, but pretty close. Then we
+
+could come back down here quickly, and see if
+there’s anyone else who needs help.
+
+MARISHA: How long is it going to take to hike back
+the way we came?
+
+MATT: Not too long, maybe 20 or so minutes back to
+the surface.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do it.
+
+KHARY: That’s not bad.
+
+SAM: Are we going to leave some folks down here
+to–
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+SAM: What if they repopulate all of these rooms
+that we’ve already cleared?
+
+TRAVIS: We should move together. There’s no point
+in leaving just a few–
+
+TALIESIN: If you leave your alarm up here–
+
+LIAM: Well, I was thinking about getting them to
+safety outside. If anything leaves the mine, we’ll
+
+know it was them.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair then, yeah. That’s a good
+plan.
+
+LAURA: Let’s do it.
+
+SAM: I don’t like this plan at all. What if
+someone– What if one of the gnolls wanders into
+
+this room and sees five of his dead brothers?
+
+LAURA: Let’s throw them down the hole!
+
+TALIESIN: We start kicking them right up to the
+edge, kicking them right in the hole.
+
+MATT: One after another, you take the remainders
+of the previous battle and roll them into the hole
+
+in the center.
+
+KHARY: Good call.
+
+LAURA: Now they all look like they just left and
+had some–
+
+SAM: There’s a whole other room with dead bodies
+in it that we also caused, and also ball bearings.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, people die all the time.
+
+LAURA: You know, sometimes accidents happen.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll be coming right back down. We just
+need to get them to safety.
+
+LIAM: You know, people don’t bare balls all the
+time, but I think it’s a reasonable risk at this
+
+point in time.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, we could take a short rest up top
+while we’re getting them folks to safety.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: I like this plan.
+
+SAM: Are there any other boxes or things to search
+down here before we get out?
+
+MATT: You can search if you want to.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, let’s search around.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my God. I crack boxes like fucking
+Zelda.
+
+TRAVIS: Quietly, maybe?
+
+MARISHA: Quiet, sorry.
+
+LAURA: How many dead bodies do you think I could
+carry?
+
+MATT: You could drag two.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take a couple as well.
+
+MATT: Because you’re pretty strong, you could drag
+two bodies.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to try to drag some of the dead
+out–
+
+MATT: Everybody else can take one each, I think,
+based on your strengths. You can take none.
+
+KHARY: Yeah, my dragging days are over.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to look around, see if
+there’s anything of interest.
+
+MATT: All right, so two of you can make
+investigation checks on this one.
+
+LIAM: I will help you look because I have an
+eye–
+
+LAURA: You need glasses though.
+
+LIAM: No, I have very– trust me, I mean I could
+roll for shit but–
+
+MARISHA: He’s nearsighted.
+
+LAURA: Oh nearsighted, I understand.
+
+LIAM: That’s okay.
+
+MARISHA: But you have advantage.
+
+LIAM: Do I have advantage?
+
+MARISHA: Because he’s assisting you.
+
+MATT: If he’s assisting you, yeah.
+
+LIAM: That’s a little better. Oh, yeah, it’s good.
+That’s 15. You know, for level three. Fünfzehn.
+
+TRAVIS: (chanting) Level three. Level three.
+
+MATT: In a quick glance through, a lot of it
+appears to be pickaxes, shovels. Most in here
+
+seems to be tools and anything of worth has been
+ravaged or taken. You find a few bits of rotted
+
+meat of indeterminate origin, that you immediately
+shrink away from.
+
+LIAM: No, actually, I’m going to scoop up some of
+those pieces of rotted meat and put them in my
+
+pockets.
+
+MATT: Okay. There you go.
+
+LIAM: You can’t smell it.
+
+SAM: No, it smells good to me!
+
+TRAVIS: Could be good bait later.
+
+LIAM: That’s why I’m taking it.
+
+SAM: Any baubles or little doodads?
+
+MATT: Nothing in this chamber, unfortunately. This
+one has either been picked clean or didn’t contain
+
+anything of immediate worth in the process.
+
+SAM: Oh, I don’t care about worth.
+
+MATT: I mean, there are plenty of bodies you could
+rummage through if you wanted to, but.
+
+LAURA: As we’re walking them, Nott’s going through
+the pockets.
+
+KHARY: Anything explosive?
+
+MATT: You can make an investigation check, if
+you’d like.
+
+KHARY: All right. How would I do that?
+
+MATT: Roll a d20 and add your investigation skill
+bonus.
+
+LIAM: It’s there by– good
+roll.
+
+KHARY: Plus one.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, 15 for him.
+
+MATT: 15 as well. All right, so. Not in this
+chamber in particular, but as you guys are going
+
+through the other tunnel, you glance over in one
+of the overturned boxes and you find another
+
+familiar object, one of which you had used
+previously. Another singular stick with a long
+
+explosive wick on the end. You have another piece
+with you.
+
+KHARY: Gingerly, I take it up.
+
+SAM: Gently! You should be careful with that.
+Those can make big booms.
+
+KHARY: This ain’t my first rodeo, baby. Thank
+you.
+
+SAM: (flustered noise)
+
+MATT: As he says that and turns, you watch as the
+small black hummingbird perches on his shoulder as
+
+he continues to walk.
+
+SAM: He’s got a Frumpkin too!
+
+LAURA: I’m dragging the bodies going, Duchess!
+Duchess Stacy, please come over to me! Duchess
+
+Stacy!
+
+KHARY: Grand Duchess.
+
+LAURA: Grand Duchess Stacy!
+
+TRAVIS: We make our way back up to the top.
+
+MATT: I’ll have you all– You can’t make stealth
+checks. You’re dragging bodies. Who’s carrying;
+
+how many bodies are you bringing back?
+
+TALIESIN, TRAVIS, LIAM, MARISHA, and MATT: One.
+
+LAURA: Two.
+
+MATT: That’s four, five, six, seven.
+
+SAM: I will go ahead of the party to run point.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check for me.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys carefully make your way back
+up through, trying not to drag the bodies over
+
+heavy bumps or rocks, eventually making your way
+out of the main entrance way. You notice a trap
+
+that you had deftly avoided multiple times getting
+people in and out, of a large tree trunk that had
+
+been suspended in the roof to swing down when
+triggered, had been triggered and is now hanging
+
+there. Apparently somebody made an unfortunate
+mistake making their way through. You all
+
+eventually find your way out into the daylight
+once more. The woman, who’s now introduced herself
+
+as Herma, and the older half-elf man, Petrov, all
+step out into the light, blinking, bleary in the
+
+sudden influx of light. As soon as you make it
+into the open sky, you can see this breath of
+
+relief wash over both of them, and the young boy
+is now starting to come to consciousness again.
+
+Goes, “Mom?” She goes, “Shh! It’s okay; it’s
+okay.” She looks up over towards Shakäste, and has
+
+more tears in her eyes, and goes, “Thank you.”
+
+SAM: I helped too!
+
+LAURA: I stabilized him. I stabilized him real
+good.
+
+MATT: “Thank you all so much.” You lead them over
+through the hills here, that cluster around where
+
+this mine once was, around the corner there
+appears to be a shed that’s been long abandoned
+
+and locked up. As you approach, you have been here
+previously.
+
+KHARY: I take my reed stick and rap on the door.
+
+MATT: “Is that you?”
+
+KHARY: Shh.
+
+MATT: The door opens and there you can see
+emerging four survivors, also from Alfield that,
+
+with bright eyes, welcome the arrival of this
+strange traveler, as well as the three other
+
+survivors you’ve brought in. As some of them begin
+to reunite with people that are familiar to them,
+
+people who live in Alfield and know each other,
+they begin to hold each other and take a moment to
+
+relish in this renewed moment of life. Then they
+begin to pour over the bodies that have been
+
+recovered, and they begin to identify them to each
+other, and then sadness takes over. Then once
+
+those waves have passed, individuals begin to go
+up and thank you, and take your hand, and a few of
+
+them are like, “Anything I can give you, please,
+just let me know. Thank you so much.” It’s a lot,
+
+to have at once, and for many of you an experience
+that is different and new. Take it as you will,
+
+however you wish to, but you also know time is of
+the essence, and not too much time can be spent on
+
+this.
+
+LIAM: I would say that I did not partake in any of
+that. As soon as we exited efficiently, I pulled
+
+out the silver thread and I’m already doing my
+thing while they do that.
+
+KHARY: I would say, to the people inside: Stay
+safe, stay here. I look at everyone else and say:
+
+this isn’t over.
+
+MARISHA and KHARY: Let’s go.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: Let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a badass motherfucker, I’m just
+saying.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’m so about it. He’s so cool.
+
+TRAVIS: I know. Number one fan club.
+
+LIAM: I guess we do not need a perception check.
+
+MATT: All the bodies are placed in a small pile
+and a large heavy piece of canvas material is
+
+placed over them to hide them. The shed is closed
+and locked, and they all seem to feel, at least
+
+for the moment, comfort and safety in this space,
+as you all begin to delve once more into the mines
+
+beneath the hills. I would like you all to make a
+stealth check, please, as you progress further in.
+
+LIAM: Oh good. That’s my specialty.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, I could give someone a blessing, who’s
+shitty at this? Blessing!
+
+LIAM: Thank you. Ugh.
+
+TRAVIS: Ugh.
+
+KHARY: What am I doing?
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Roll a 20.
+
+KHARY: Roll the 20.
+
+MARISHA: 25.
+
+LIAM: Eight.
+
+LAURA: With advantage?!
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+LAURA: Fuck.
+
+LIAM: You brought me from a four to a seven.
+
+LAURA: Oh, Jesus.
+
+KHARY: 17.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: 18.
+
+MATT: Universally, you guys are all confident in
+your ability to delve without being seen, even
+
+making up for those who maybe not have been a less
+bumbling experience making their way in.
+
+LIAM: I stubbed my toe!
+
+MARISHA: Shh!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Learn how to see in the bloody dark!
+
+KHARY: You’ve got light, boy, you’ll be fine.
+
+MATT: You make your way back through the familiar
+tunnel, and you can now see that the right tunnel,
+
+the one that you had previously seen the pitfall
+and decided to not head down into, is now a large
+
+cluster of rock and rubble.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s where you came from?
+
+KHARY: Mm.
+
+MATT: You progress down through the ritual area,
+carefully avoiding a scattering of metallic ball
+
+bearings across the floor. You see an altar with
+candles on it that have all burned down entirely,
+
+except for a few tiny flickers. Is there any light
+source you guys are bringing down here with you?
+
+LIAM: (spell effect)
+
+MATT: All right, the balls of light now float as
+you progress, giving everyone who needs it sight.
+
+You head down into the familiar chamber where this
+last fray occurred, carefully avoiding the large
+
+hole in the ground. This is the only other exit
+from this chamber. You continue forward. Who’s
+
+taking point, and what is the marching order,
+please?
+
+LAURA: Keep checking for traps, okay?
+
+SAM: All right, that’s a good idea.
+
+KHARY: Can I send the Grand Duchess?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not getting over that.
+
+LAURA: Oh, the Grand Duchess and Frumpkin will be
+best of friends.
+
+MARISHA: Do they like each other?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin was obliterated.
+
+KHARY: –stay away from my bird.
+
+LIAM: You know, it’s funny, because only about 30
+minutes ago I also had a bird, but he was
+
+obliterated.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s right.
+
+LIAM: It was very sad. I’ll bring him back
+tomorrow.
+
+KHARY: Thanks for that.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: He and I, we are like that.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s going on, it’s going.
+
+SAM: He’s very charming.
+
+LAURA: I feel like we’re seeing more of Caleb’s
+social awkwardness, seeing him from the outside,
+
+it’s so good.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s everything I could’ve wanted.
+
+MATT: As you take a moment to continue focusing,
+as you do, through the vision of your bird,
+
+(hovering hum) coasts down through the tunnel
+before you to keep an eye out.
+
+Make a perception check for your bird, please.
+Roll a d20, and add two to it.
+
+KHARY: 17.
+
+MATT: 17, nice. The bird’s perception, not his.
+
+MATT: That’s great. The tunnel descends at a
+moderate grade for about 80 to 100 feet before it
+
+levels off once more. Ahead, you see a set of
+rough stairs that rise for about five or six feet,
+
+leading to the remainder of the tunnel, and then
+curving to the left suddenly out of sight,
+
+slightly along this elevation. Right there, you
+have your bird (hovering hum), and right as the
+
+stairs ascend and turn immediately, there is the
+outer corner of a gnoll stands there
+
+waiting, keeping watch. (gnoll murmurs) Do you
+want to send your bird in further to check out the
+
+rest of the room or pull it back?
+
+KHARY: She’s quick.
+
+MATT: She’s pretty quick.
+
+KHARY: I say move on.
+
+MATT: All right. (hovering hum) Okay.
+
+LAURA: It’s really smart that he made a
+hummingbird. That’s really fast.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s really clever.
+
+LAURA: It’s a pretty smart move, don’t you think?
+
+LIAM: It’s not a cat.
+
+SAM: One that can see in the dark.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I mean, it’s really smart.
+
+MATT: As the Duchess moves further and up to the
+platform, the Duchess can see another portion of
+
+the floor that is collapsed inward into another
+falling pit that rests against the wall on the
+
+opposite side of where these stairs ascend. The
+tunnel curves to the left immediately, where this
+
+hole is on the top, and where it continues down
+there appears to be a large archway where there
+
+was once a set of double doors. The doors have
+been broken off the hinges and are not visible at
+
+current sight, but to each side of the frame, you
+can see two skeletal gnolls with bits of flesh and
+
+skin hanging off their bones and rib cage and
+snout, sitting there like silent undead sentinels
+
+looking around.
+
+KHARY: Thank you so much. Come back to me, dear.
+
+MATT: (hovering hum) Charging back to the tunnel,
+back to your shoulder.
+
+KHARY: We have a friend about a hundred feet away.
+He’s by himself, but yeah, there’s just the one.
+
+Beyond him, there is more to deal with. I think we
+quietly take care of this gentleman first, and
+
+then we move on.
+
+LAURA: Did you see any survivors?
+
+KHARY: Not yet, but there are two sentinels and
+they are guarding something. I’m hoping that’s
+
+someone.
+
+TRAVIS: Perhaps we can create a little bit of a
+lure to bring back that single fellow closer to us
+
+and we dispatch him quietly.
+
+KHARY: It’s not a bad idea.
+
+MARISHA: I reached into the ball bearings that I
+have left since I have about half. I take one and
+
+go– (ball bearing bouncing)
+
+MATT: Down along to the grade? (ball bearing
+bouncing) Eventually, you can no longer hear any
+
+noise the ball bearing makes as it continues out
+of your earshot.
+
+LIAM: I’m also going with the Dancing Lights.
+They’re not leading the way. The closest one is
+
+actually ten feet behind us like a choo-choo train
+back behind the group so that it’s dim light 20 to
+
+30 feet ahead of us.
+
+MATT: Okay. A minute passes. Two minutes.
+You don’t see any indication that anything noticed
+
+or heard.
+
+MARISHA: Ah, shit! He’s stupid!
+
+LAURA: Maybe he’s sleeping.
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s real good at dispatching them quiet?
+
+MARISHA: Nott, do you want to?
+
+SAM: Don’t make me do this again.
+
+TRAVIS: I tell you what, if you summon some
+courage, I’ll come with you.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+KHARY: Could I give her some guidance?
+
+MATT: You may if you are going to try to stealth
+it.
+
+SAM: Sure, what does that mean?
+
+LIAM: Just give you a little bit of boost, you
+know.
+
+KHARY: I got a really good feeling about what
+you’re about to do.
+
+SAM: Uh-huh.
+
+KHARY: Like a really good feeling. Like the kind
+of feeling that will put a big smile on your face,
+
+you know, take you back home, make you feel like
+there’s a big–
+
+SAM: I’m not interested in a relationship right
+now.
+
+KHARY: Well, this isn’t working at all.
+
+LAURA: Offer her shiny things.
+
+KHARY: Ah, you know what? You know the way this is
+turning out, I feel like you can get all kinds of
+
+gold and silver.
+
+SAM: Oh, yes! Pretty things. Sure, yes!
+
+KHARY: Exactly.
+
+SAM: Yes, absolutely. Give me something.
+
+KHARY: Oh well, it’s waiting for you just down the
+hall. All you got to do is take care of a creature
+
+quietly and quickly.
+
+SAM: I feel inspired.
+
+MATT: All right, so make your stealth check and
+add a d4 to whatever you roll.
+
+LAURA: Then I give you a Blessing of the Trickster
+for your stealth.
+
+TRAVIS: What does that do?
+
+LAURA: You get advantage, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god.
+
+MARISHA: Did you roll the same thing?
+
+TRAVIS: No, but not much better. Eight.
+
+LIAM: Oh, low rolls at both?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Plus a d4.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: Plus the d4?
+
+SAM: Oh no, d4. Sorry, not a four, but d4.
+
+MATT: Not good.
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. Okay. It’s just Nott? You’re going as
+well?
+
+SAM: He’s going too.
+
+MATT: The two of you begin to make your way down
+the hall carefully, ever so carefully, about 60 or
+
+70 feet towards the bottom where you can both see
+the grade begin to turn up. Fjord, you discover
+
+why you stopped hearing the ball bearing, as
+suddenly you take a step and your foot slides up
+
+from under you.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: You try and catch yourself and you manage to
+do so, but you dislodge a rock that begins making
+
+more noise than the ball bearing did. At which
+point you hear (growls and howl)
+
+SAM: Does it see us?
+
+MATT: It’s down below the grade and out of sight.
+It’s just the rock that began to make its way down.
+
+TRAVIS: I screwed the pooch. I think y'all need to
+fucking join us.
+
+MARISHA: Come back.
+
+LAURA: We can’t hear you, you’re fucking 60 feet
+ahead of us.
+
+TRAVIS: It was a really loud stage whisper.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: (echoing) -sper, -sper, -sper.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I will tell them, all right? I’ll point back
+to them and I will bring out my little piece of
+
+fabric. Wait. No, it’s a piece of wire and whisper
+into it and send a Message to Caleb that: We’ve
+
+been made. Start making your way down here.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Oh, verdammt. It didn’t work, we’re in
+trouble, they are coming. I think they’re coming.
+
+LAURA: Should we go down the tunnel?
+
+LIAM: Come back to us please.
+
+LAURA: Or should we go to them?
+
+LIAM: I already sent the message.
+
+MATT: Okay. So!
+
+SAM: Are we sticking?
+
+TRAVIS: What did he say?
+
+SAM: He said “Come back to us.” I feel like we’re
+already here, we should just– oh gods. What do we
+
+do?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m with you.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s take them on. I feel like I’ve never
+felt. You and me, let’s take them.
+
+SAM: Why are you big men making these weird
+speeches to me?!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: All right, sure, I feel inspired again. I’ll
+take a swig.
+
+MATT: You do take a heavy swig off of your flask,
+thank you. Both wait carefully holding your action
+
+until underneath you can see what emerges below
+the lowest part of the curving tunnel roof, a
+
+gnoll snout begins to protrude past. You can see
+the arrow already nocked in the longbow as it
+
+turns down and turns and glances up the tunnel to
+meet your guys’ vision.
+
+TRAVIS: As soon as he fires, I will as well.
+
+SAM: I will fire, my hand– how far?
+
+MATT: Right now he’s about 30 feet below you.
+
+SAM: Yeah. I can make that shot. (ping!)
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh dear.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, me?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MATT: Just hits. Misses.
+
+MARISHA: 15 is the magic number.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I say my bonus I move my Hex over to
+him?
+
+MATT: At this point, your Hex has faded.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+MATT: Since you guys hadn’t left before.
+
+TRAVIS: I tried it. 20 up, 20 down that side.
+
+MATT: Yeah, had you guys taken a short rest when
+you were up there or not?
+
+MARISHA: I was hoping so.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, we did say we were going to.
+
+LAURA: Then it would add another hour up there,
+wouldn’t it?
+
+MATT: It would. It’s up to you guys. It may or may
+not affect things.
+
+LAURA: I don’t really get anything back on short
+rest.
+
+TRAVIS: I do.
+
+MARISHA: I would get my ki point back.
+
+LIAM: I would get a spell back, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we should. We rescued the
+survivors, we gave them a little moment to
+
+grieve.
+
+LAURA: I mean there might be more survivors.
+
+TRAVIS: I know but–
+
+LAURA: We rescued some survivors.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: We say ja?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+LAURA: We took a rest.
+
+MATT: All right, so before we jump into this,
+we’ll say you took the short rest, which is an
+
+hour, so you guys can use your hit dice. You
+hadn’t taken any damage, Shakäste, so you don’t
+
+have to worry about it.
+
+KHARY: No but I was just thinking about– because
+I did use the Thunderwave.
+
+MATT: That does not come back on a short rest.
+
+KHARY: That does not come back, okay.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s a long rest for you.
+
+(background music)
+
+MARISHA: Jesus, shitty rolls.
+
+SAM: Is there a way to track the hit dice in
+(singing) D&D Beyond?
+
+MATT: Yes, under hit points.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You hit short rest and it will pop
+up the number of hit dice you have.
+
+MATT: It’s under the short rest.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, under short rest, not hit–
+
+SAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: All righty, so, with that the case, you’ve
+taken a short rest. Now back to the current
+
+moment. You both fired. You missed, you succeeded
+to hit, go ahead and roll your damage on that.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you. 1d10 plus four. That is a ten
+plus four, 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage, all righty. As it looks
+up and gets hit in the snout and it looks back up
+
+and you can see the black, charred exterior of its
+head, one of its eyes is now ruined and he
+
+(growls). Its tongue is dangling out. You can see
+blood and slobber across the front of its chest as
+
+it looks up and gets ready to release its bow
+strike at you since you made the hit. That’s going
+
+to be a 23 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh that definitely hits.
+
+MATT: Natural 18. That’s an eight on the die, that
+is ten points of piercing damage to you.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn.
+
+MARISHA, TRAVIS and LIAM: (singing) Damn, damn,
+damn.
+
+TALIESIN: I was watching this, I was going to head
+down this direction anyway.
+
+MATT: Right, at this point you guys have now
+begun to head down, yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys head down, it’s going to take the
+better part of the turn to get to where they are,
+
+unfortunately, because you guys were waiting at
+the very top. As soon as you see the lights go off
+
+suddenly and the impact of the spell from him and
+hear the snarling in the distance, you guys begin
+
+to make a full beeline and it takes you the full
+dash and movement to even get beside your allies.
+
+You guys get another round as well as the gnoll,
+so go ahead and make your attacks.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LAURA: You can do it.
+
+SAM: I can do it.
+
+TRAVIS: Here we go.
+
+SAM: Sure, 18 to hit.
+
+MATT: 18 hits.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: Hits. Roll damage. No sneak attack,
+unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Five.
+
+MATT: All right. Damage on you.
+
+TRAVIS: On my bonus action, I’ll cast Hex as well.
+That’s five points of necrotic.
+
+KHARY: Is my Guidance still helping at all?
+
+MATT: The Guidance only helps for the next six
+seconds, so it helped him with the stealth check
+
+originally. You can do it whenever you want to as
+an action.
+
+TRAVIS: Eight points of damage, five necrotic for
+13 total.
+
+MATT: As the gnoll pulling back its arrows, about
+to give out a large bellowing cry, makes a large
+
+inhale as it pulls back a second arrow and then
+both of you slam into it and watch as it falls to
+
+the ground, dropping its weapons that clatter
+against the stonework. It’s not longer moving as
+
+you guys catch up.
+
+LAURA: I go running past them right as they do it
+and cut its ears off.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m opening up the jar. There you are.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Pull it back into the tunnel!
+
+LAURA: Oh okay. I do that.
+
+MATT: Okay. You drag it back in, while you’re down
+you make perception checks, please.
+
+TALIESIN: Both of us?
+
+SAM: Her forearms are amazing.
+
+MATT: If you’re helping yeah, both of you.
+
+MARISHA: They’re bats, just baseball bats with
+arms.
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+TALIESIN: 13.
+
+MATT: As you rush down and grab the body, you
+glance up and whereas previously he described
+
+there was the singular gnoll and the two other
+skeletal ones in the opposite side, it appears
+
+that since it was given some indication of nearby
+sounds and it made that brief call before it began
+
+to approach, there are a few more gnolls that have
+appeared at the top of the platform above where
+
+the stairs crest.
+
+LAURA: Do they see us?
+
+MATT: No, they do not at the moment, but only
+because they’re not looking at your direction. As
+
+soon as you see it you immediately drag the body
+out of the way. I would like you both make a
+
+stealth check to try to quietly drag the body
+back.
+
+LAURA: 16.
+
+TALIESIN: 20.
+
+MATT: You both don’t drag it, you both grab an arm
+and a leg and very painfully lift it up without
+
+making any sound and pull it out of range up the
+grade out of view as you watch one of the gnolls
+
+turns its face in your direction barely passing
+seeing you guys yank it out of sight.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) There’s a lot more guys out
+there.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) How many?
+
+MATT: You saw three visually appear.
+
+LAURA: I saw three visually.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking Beau and her ball bearings.
+
+SAM: Why did you drop a ball bearing down there?
+
+MATT: To give you perspective on this, because it
+looks like we’re going on that direction.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: Oh god this means that–
+
+MARISHA: It’s like a motion simulator ride. Whoa!
+
+TALIESIN: Fun fact, Matt’s house is actually made
+of Dwarven Forge.
+
+MARISHA: It’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: Every wall, the kitchen.
+
+LAURA: That would be amazing.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s just Dwarven Forge all the way
+through.
+
+MARISHA: No, I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: You haven’t lived until you’ve slept on
+Dwarven Forge.
+
+MATT: You now see.
+
+MARISHA: Or our bed’s not on braziers, no.
+
+LAURA and LIAM: Critical Role, Critical Role.
+
+LIAM: Oh god, we’ve got to stop.
+
+TALIESIN: I know, this has to end.
+
+MATT: This leads into the grade that head up in an
+angle here where you guys originally shot the
+
+gnoll and dragged him out of the way.
+
+LIAM: We are down that way?
+
+MATT: You guys are over–
+
+LIAM: Over this way?
+
+MATT: You’re up in the tunnel here. It angles down
+there and this is where–
+
+LAURA: Oh no. They’re coming. (whispering) They
+were about to look in this direction, but they
+
+weren’t quite looking in that direction when we
+dragged the body out.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Okay.
+
+KHARY: They’re not exactly–
+
+MATT: They haven’t noticed anything yet. You guys
+are up in this way, and this is the layout here.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, what do we do?
+
+SAM: Don’t do anything yet. We have to figure out
+what we’re doing.
+
+KHARY: Well, I’m meaning simply as a strategy.
+Should we use something to distract them? Since
+
+they’re already not looking our way, so that we
+could get a few shots at their back.
+
+LAURA: Can you send the Grand Duchess in?
+
+KHARY: I absolutely will. Can we start there?
+
+MATT: You may. Yeah.
+
+KHARY: Let’s do that. Find a safe perch, my dear.
+
+MATT: The Grand Duchess makes her way down to the
+tunnel up. Let’s see if they see her.
+
+SAM: Is she really royalty?
+
+KHARY: That’s what she told me.
+
+LAURA: Did she used to be a person and you shrunk
+her down?
+
+KHARY: No, she is who she is, baby. Just like
+you.
+
+MATT: She passes them over. There is one perch up
+on the side of the wall right above where this
+
+large pit is on the opposite end. She perches
+right over the side as two of the gnolls are still
+
+(growls). One of them begins to look over the
+table and underneath for any possible source of
+
+the noise earlier. One of them glances over his
+shoulder as the Duchess enters, begins to pull an
+
+arrow out of the quiver.
+
+KHARY: Come back here, baby.
+
+MATT: (bird noise). (growl).
+
+KHARY: Thaumaturgy.
+
+SAM: Oh no! It’s on!
+
+MARISHA: Do it.
+
+KHARY: Thaumaturgy. I’m sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus action just
+before this happens and I’m going to activate the
+
+second sword.
+
+MATT: Okay, you reduce your max hit points.
+
+TRAVIS: I roll to maintain concentration because
+he hit me after I cast Hex.
+
+MATT: Yes, please. Constitution saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no. Yeah, that’s a six.
+
+MATT: Six, no, that’s a failure. You lose Hex,
+sorry buddy.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: Got to be honest with him.
+
+KHARY: Thaumaturgy. Can I brighten the room? How
+dark is it in here?
+
+MATT: It’s pitch black aside from the globes of
+light that he has. There’s nothing to make
+
+brighter in there.
+
+LIAM: It’s bright behind us, not in front of us so
+much.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see, then, if it’s–
+
+LAURA: You can shake the ground, though.
+
+KHARY: Yes, let’s shake the ground so however well
+he thinks he can aim takes him off kilter.
+
+MATT: For that instance, make a standard wisdom
+check for me. Roll a d20 and add your wisdom
+
+modifier which I think is–
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s a 19 natural roll.
+
+MATT: As you feel the Duchess return to you and
+just past the vision as the Duchess passes over
+
+you hear the sound of the fingers gliding across
+the bowstring. You hear the creak of the wood as
+
+it’s pulled back. You know exactly what that sound
+means as you see through the Duchess’s eyes. You
+
+focus on the ground below and cause it to quake
+somewhat. Rolled a natural five plus four, with
+
+that shaking it causes the– it’s very localized
+in the area, the gnoll (yip) as it does, it
+
+releases the arrow and it whips past and shatters
+across the rock. The Duchess returns to your shoulder.
+
+KHARY: Well, now I’m pissed.
+
+SAM: Do they know we’re here now?
+
+LAURA: He saw the bird come back this way so
+maybe–
+
+LIAM and SAM: It’s just a bird.
+
+LIAM: He might have even thought it was a bat.
+
+SAM: Should we all turn into birds and confuse
+him?
+
+LAURA: Do you know how to do that?
+
+SAM and LAURA: I could try.
+
+KHARY: Let’s try later. Why don’t we do things
+we’ve done before?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing?
+
+MARISHA: Are we doing this?
+
+LAURA: Let’s fucking go.
+
+SAM: We’re going to go in or– this doesn’t seem
+very smart! I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: I rub her head and give her a little
+blessing. Don’t you worry. You keep hiding
+
+whenever you need it.
+
+SAM: What is this blessing?
+
+LAURA: It gives you advantage on stealth checks.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay. Thank you.
+
+MATT: If this is the case, what are you guys
+doing?
+
+MARISHA: Do we get a surprise round?
+
+SAM: No, they know we’re here.
+
+KHARY: No, they don’t know we’re here.
+
+MARISHA: Or an earthquake. We’re in a shaft!
+Things shake a lot.
+
+MATT: They’re aware of something in the vicinity.
+The first gnoll announced there was something
+
+fishy. They don’t know what it is or where you
+are, but they’re on guard.
+
+LIAM: Surprised is like a condition. Like poison,
+but they know something is–
+
+LAURA: Not surprised.
+
+KHARY: If I used Sacred Flame on one– because if
+it’s dark in there and one of them burst into
+
+flames wouldn’t they all look in that direction?
+
+MATT: It’s possible.
+
+KHARY: Let’s try that.
+
+LAURA: I could Sacred Flame him in the exact same
+time.
+
+TRAVIS: While we’re waiting, can I cast Armor of
+Agathys on myself?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+KHARY: I like this.
+
+TRAVIS: (hissing sound) I pull the moisture
+out of the air and it forms frost all over me.
+
+MARISHA: It’s got a little moss on it from the
+cave?
+
+MATT: As you have this conversation you turn back
+and you watch as Fjord, the rather handsome
+
+looking half-orc, finishes muttering something
+under his breath and the shadows coalesce into
+
+this dark, cold, icy armor that shatter into bits
+of shards around the exterior of his leather
+
+armor. You watch as this mist rises off of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody chill.
+
+LIAM: No, you ruined it! It was so good!
+
+MARISHA: It wasn’t cool when Arnold said it.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, everybody. Be cool.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Stay frosty? Stay frosty.
+
+LAURA: I pull my sickle out so I’m prepared for
+actual up-front combat.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got both of those sticks going. I’m
+ready for this.
+
+MATT: This guy’s moved forward to here. This guy’s
+moved forward to there. They’re in the process of
+
+searching the area, looking down the tunnel.
+
+LAURA: Which one do you want to hit? The orange
+one, the gray one, or the black one?
+
+KHARY: Did we see those other ones over there?
+
+MATT: You saw them, the skeletal ones there.
+
+KHARY: That’s what I thought. I thought my baby
+saw them. I say, I think we need to get those
+
+fellows to turn back and look at those fellows.
+
+LAURA: We can’t see those guys to Sacred Flame
+them.
+
+KHARY: I can’t see them anymore?
+
+MATT: You guys are up in this tower right now, so
+you’d have to send Duchess back in to see.
+
+KHARY: Isn’t that always the way?
+
+LAURA: We could get the one in the back, and then
+the other two might look at him.
+
+KHARY: I think that’s a great idea, darling.
+
+LAURA: Let’s do it.
+
+LIAM: Can I say, I change my mind every five
+minutes about whether this group was a good idea
+
+or a terrible idea, and I’m listening to these
+chuckleheads talk to each other, and I’m waiting
+
+to cast Blur on myself when it looks like
+everybody’s going to do something, but I’m waiting
+
+until the last minute.
+
+LAURA: I knew it was Blur!
+
+LIAM: Good for you. You get a doughnut.
+
+KHARY: Sacred Flame, on the gentleman in blue.
+
+LAURA: At the same time I see his little reed
+flick, I’m going to swirl my sickle around and
+
+cast Toll the Dead.
+
+MATT: All right, on this guy there?
+
+LAURA and KHARY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: As you guys slowly bring your way to the
+base– which in order to get you in the space
+
+where you can see them, that would put both of you
+rushing right down to the base in that area. If I
+
+can get a marching order to where the rest of you
+are, by the way.
+
+LIAM: Hey, I’ll be in the back.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the front.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s take a line of the three of us, at
+least.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. I’m good with that.
+
+MATT: You guys rush forward to take the line as
+they–
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Linemen.
+
+SAM: I’ll be back with Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I knew what that meant.
+
+TRAVIS: You going to be a guard or a tackle?
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Tackle. I’m probably a guard.
+
+MATT: As you all rush in below, you both release
+Sacred Flame and Toll the Dead on the guy in the
+
+blue. That’s a wisdom saving throw for Sacred
+Flame, I believe it is?
+
+LAURA: It’s a dex save for Sacred Flame and a
+wisdom save for Toll the Dead.
+
+MATT: That’s right. A wisdom save for you, that’s
+a 13?
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it succeeds. Sorry. For you, it’s 13
+as well for your DC. That is a five.
+
+LAURA: You couldn’t have them roll that for me?
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It’s Crystal Pepsi.
+
+LAURA: I really love Crystal Pepsi.
+
+TALIESIN: Original run.
+
+MATT: Roll damage for the Sacred Flame, which
+should be– What’s the damage on the spell?
+
+KHARY: The damage on the Sacred Flame is– The
+spell’s damage increases by 1d8 when you–
+
+MATT: Yeah, so it’s 1d8. Go ahead and roll 1d8
+radiant damage.
+
+KHARY: 1d8 is this thing?
+
+KHARY: One.
+
+LAURA: Ugh. That’s okay. It was for visual
+anyway.
+
+KHARY: It was. That’s true. I would have wanted
+the–
+
+MATT: You watch the light burst in.
+
+LIAM: I’ve pulled the ripcord on Blur if they’re
+doing that.
+
+MATT: You cast Blur. That all happens in a quick
+instant as they rushed forward and you guys caught
+
+up. Now we’re rolling initiative.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get this one right.
+
+MARISHA: Son of a fuck!
+
+LIAM: There is a vision of me before me and also
+behind me, flickering in and out of view.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20. 25 to 20 anybody?
+
+KHARY: 20.
+
+TALIESIN: A real initiative roll. That’s
+something.
+
+MATT: All right. 20 to 15?
+
+SAM: Nobody got 20 to 15?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I call you Shaq?
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+KHARY: No.
+
+TALIESIN: 13.
+
+LAURA: Ten.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, Nott, and Jester?
+
+MATT: Jester, you got ten?
+
+LAURA: I got ten.
+
+SAM: Ten to 15. Ooh, boy.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, really?
+
+MATT: Ten to five?
+
+LIAM: Siebzehn.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb’s before Beau?
+
+MARISHA: What’s zip– seven?
+
+LIAM: Siebzehn is seven.
+
+MARISHA: No, I am.
+
+MATT: Beau, what did you get?
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a nine.
+
+MARISHA: Five plus four. Nein.
+
+TRAVIS: I rolled a three.
+
+LAURA: Oh, Fjord.
+
+MATT: As the gnolls are all clumping together,
+preparing for your onslaught right at the edge of
+
+the hole with the furniture on the opposite side
+there, the two skeletal gnolls who are getting
+
+ready to rush into the fray. Top of the round is
+Shakäste.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. Frostbite.
+
+MATT: Okay. Against which one?
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. Oh, wait, first of all, they
+burst into flames, this gentleman burst into
+
+flames, and when that happened, what did these
+gentlemen– how did these gentlemen react?
+
+MATT: The two other gnolls glance over at the
+side, and then look towards the tunnel where you
+
+guys were. It didn’t seem like it was much of a
+distraction for them, unfortunately, in the moment.
+
+LAURA: Right as we all ran in at the same time.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, it wasn’t a sourceless
+cluster as you guys all made your way to the base.
+
+KHARY: All right then, I say the one closest to
+us, I will hit with Frostbite.
+
+MATT: All right. Would that be that one there?
+
+KHARY: That would be that fellow.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it. Frostbite he has to
+roll against your DC, so I roll it for you. That
+
+is a natural one, so go ahead and roll damage on
+that.
+
+KHARY: All right. That is the diamond?
+
+MATT: It should be, is that a d8 for that one as
+well?
+
+KHARY: Yeah. Wait, by 1d6.
+
+MATT: Okay, so it would be d6. I’m pretty sure
+it’s a d6 for the cantrip.
+
+KHARY: 1d6? Is that this one?
+
+LIAM: That is that one, yeah. The cube is a six.
+Hey, a three.
+
+MATT: Three points of cold damage to him, and he
+has disadvantage on his next attack roll.
+
+Suddenly, a similar cold to what you saw coalesced
+around the armor of Fjord, this time it’s
+
+attacking and freezing inward, and you watch as
+the gnoll (gnoll pain sounds). It’s shaking
+
+briefly, you watch as its muscles are beginning to
+slow down and become sluggish. Do you want to
+
+move, or do you want to stay where you’re put?
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. Actually, I feel pretty good
+right behind these fellows.
+
+MATT: All right, so you stay there. That ends your
+turn. The gnolls will now go. The three of them
+
+are going to begin to back away, and they’re all
+going to take strikes with their bow.
+
+SAM: Ranged attackers.
+
+MATT: They all pull out their arrows, and each are
+going to make a strike. The one you frostbit is
+
+going to attack you, it has disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Guys, let’s all cluster up at the bottom of
+the stairs.
+
+MARISHA: Sounds great. Yeah.
+
+MATT: It was a three and a two, with disadvantage,
+so no, it misses you entirely. It actually gets
+
+partially caught in the ‘fro, and makes its way to
+the back.
+
+KHARY: Oh man, I’ve got beads in that thing, baby.
+Got to be careful.
+
+MATT: Missed them all, thankfully. The next attack
+in the front is going to be against Beau, and then
+
+one’s going to be against Molly, since you guys
+are the most visually impressive of the front row
+
+color-wise. You blend into the surroundings a
+little bit comparatively, so against Molly– Man,
+
+they cannot roll, that is a six.
+
+TALIESIN: I slice it, catch it in the spin.
+
+MATT: (grinding sound) Just grinding toothpicks.
+The one versus you, Beau, that is a 14.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Dodge out of the way.
+
+SAM: Devil sticks?
+
+KHARY: I think that’s what they– yeah. I seem to
+remember them being–
+
+MATT: All right, Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Goddamn it. I’m going to hop up and move
+to the left. I’m not even going to use the real
+
+stairs, I’m going to get to the side up on that
+barrel over there.
+
+MATT: There?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, and use Vicious Mockery on the one
+closest to us.
+
+MATT: That’s a 15 on the saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: So he’s fine.
+
+MATT: So he’s fine, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: (devilish voice) Ack! Fuck! Can’t finish
+it!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Talk tough.
+
+MATT: You can keep using your movement if you want
+or you can stay put.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get to the– No, I’m going
+to stay back because I’m a little– yeah, I’m
+
+going to let other people come up first.
+
+MATT: Okay. Ending your turn Molly, it’s Nott,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Oh. Excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse
+me. I’m going to cut through the front and go as
+
+far up the stairs as I can go.
+
+MATT: (counting) 30.
+
+LIAM: Careful.
+
+SAM: Take one shot, at the one who looks frosty.
+
+MATT: That’s that guy there?
+
+SAM: Yeah. (crossbow sound)
+
+MATT: Make the attack.
+
+SAM: Oh, boy, 12.
+
+MATT: 12, it does hit, and then splinters off the
+armor. Off the ice in particular.
+
+SAM: (groans) I will, bonus action, go right back to
+where I was.
+
+MATT: (goblin yell) You rush back down. That
+finishes your turn Nott, Jester, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to move forward, up to the other
+side. Yeah, can I see them?
+
+MATT: You can see them.
+
+LAURA: You know what? Fuck it. Should I do this?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Always.
+
+LAURA: Fuck it. I’m going to climb up the stairs.
+
+SAM: (imitating Laura) Climb up the stairs. Hello,
+gentleman.
+
+LAURA: Then I’m going to Invoke Duplicity!
+
+SAM: Shaka-pow.
+
+MATT: Where’s it going to appear?
+
+LAURA: It’s going to appear next to the– yeah,
+right there.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+LAURA: She’s going to be like–
+
+MATT: The one gnoll goes (growls). All right.
+Seems immediately confused by the appearance of
+
+two Jesters in proximity.
+
+MATT: That’s your action. That’s your go?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and then can I use my movement to
+crouch behind this table?
+
+MATT: Nah, that’s as far as you can get with your
+movement, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: Okie dokie.
+
+MATT: Ending Jester’s turn. These two
+guys come into play. This one rushes up and swings
+
+at the illusory Jester; passes through, no effect.
+This one’s going to– five, six. It does not have
+
+a ranged attack, so instead it’s going to rush
+forward and engage with you right there.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: It’s now Beau’s go.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Is it dark in here?
+
+MATT: It is dark. You currently, there’s a little
+bit of light that you have–
+
+LIAM: The closest globule is ten feet behind us.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re seeing action happen up ahead,
+and you’re like (groan). You don’t have a good
+
+bead. You can still do things, but you’re considered
+blind, so you have disadvantage on any
+
+attacks that you make.
+
+MARISHA: Can I run up to the guy that just came up
+to Jester and wait until that light comes up from Caleb?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can hold your action if you want.
+
+MARISHA: Hold the attack?
+
+MATT: Okay. All right, you’re holding your action.
+You rush up and you can see the outer glimmers of
+
+bits of bone and its body moving as it rushes in
+to harry Jester.
+
+MARISHA: When I hold my action, can I also hold my
+bonus action with that?
+
+MATT: No. Only your action, unfortunately.
+
+MARISHA: Can I use my bonus action to spend a ki
+point and do patient defense?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do that.
+
+MATT: You go into a defensive potion there, all
+right.
+
+MARISHA: I can still attack when it comes, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Thank you.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: My choo-choo train of globules of light go
+(whirring) and float over all our heads–
+
+MATT: Lighting up the vicinity here.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I’m already falling into a routine
+with my other human friend here, because I know
+
+that she’s a badass, but not without light. The
+globules pass her and curve to the left a little
+
+bit, and one floats above her head. The last one.
+
+MATT: Okay. Perfect.
+
+MARISHA: As soon as it comes around me, I’m going
+to use the staff with the light as it comes and
+
+crack it down over top of his head.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20! I rolled an eight on my die!
+(sings) Max all the way around. That’s 16 plus
+
+four! I’m not going to touch you right now. I’m
+sick.
+
+There we go. I’ll hit the elbow. 20!
+
+MATT: All right, so as the light emerges above,
+you leap into the air, swing the staff, bring it
+
+straight down, as it does–
+
+MARISHA: Can I have the light following behind me
+as I run up?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It splinters the skeleton into pieces
+all around its entire body, crushes and collapses
+
+to the ground. Scattered across.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yeah.
+
+KHARY: Anastasia, did you just see that?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Caleb, rest of your turn?
+
+LIAM: That was it. No, I’m staying where the hell
+I am.
+
+MATT: Stay where you are, all right. That finishes
+your go. The light is in the room. The end of
+
+Caleb’s turn, that is now Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Ah! I’ll move up 15 feet. Sorry, I
+apologize, Entschuldigung.
+
+MATT: 15. There you go.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll come up the stairs so I can get
+a line of sight on any of those motherfucks.
+
+MATT: There, 30?
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, I’ll be behind Beau.
+
+MATT: Okay. Behind Beau right there.
+
+MARISHA: I hug the wall, let Fjord do his thing.
+
+MATT: I’ll put you right there. We’ll just lean
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Coming through!
+
+MATT: There. Oh, excuse me!
+
+TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: Which one are you shooting at?
+
+TRAVIS: The closest one.
+
+MATT: That’s the one that’s been frosted. Go for
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: Only 14.
+
+MATT: 14, for against him, does not hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately. It manages to strike some
+sort of shield on the side that shatters. It’s
+
+bolted to its forearm. It pulls it up just in time
+to deflect the Eldritch Blast. It cracks the
+
+shield and does damage to its exterior, but no
+wound to the actual gnoll.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. That’s my turn.
+
+MATT: That finishes Fjord. Top of the round, you
+hear this (hyena barking and growling).
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: (heavy footfalls)
+
+LAURA: Oh no, it’s the general!
+
+MATT: Watch as an armored gnoll–
+
+ALL: Here comes the general!
+
+MATT: In the back of the chamber.
+
+LIAM: Gnoll Washington!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: We are outgunned.
+
+ALL: What!
+
+LAURA an KHARY: Outmanned!
+
+ALL: What!
+
+MATT: Outnumbered, and crossbow. As the pack lord
+approaches, cackling at the sight of you, you see
+
+a look of recognition on its eyes as it pulls back
+its longbow and is going to go ahead and fire
+
+immediately at– Well, first I’m going to see– It
+does see through the illusion, so it does not fire
+
+for the fake Jester; however, it does fire for
+you, the actual Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Blood Maledict.
+
+MATT: You currently do not have visual.
+
+TALIESIN: I do not have visual?
+
+MATT: Not in your current position, nope.
+
+TALIESIN: Damn it. Fine.
+
+MATT: So that’s an attack on you with a longbow.
+That is going to be a 15.
+
+LAURA: Doesn’t hit me!
+
+MATT: Doesn’t hit you.
+
+LAURA: 17! I put my shield up.
+
+MATT: It splinters across the shield, no impact.
+That’s going to end its go. We’re now at the top
+
+of the round. It’s your turn, Shakäste.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: (whisper) Shakäste.
+
+KHARY: Aid.
+
+MARISHA: A rakshasa.
+
+KHARY: I don’t know, this big guy’s got me
+worried. This may take a little time. Nobody seems
+
+to be able to hit shit right now.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome to the game!
+
+KHARY: Yeah, so I say myself and my two brave
+warriors who are so far frontal, Mrs. and Mrs.?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+KHARY: Let’s all take Aid. I will, and so will
+they.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: What is Aid?
+
+MATT: Aid, is that 2nd-level?
+
+KHARY: Aid is 2nd-level, yeah.
+
+MATT: I believe you both get five additional hit
+points to your max, and five hit points.
+
+LAURA: Me?
+
+MATT: Yeah, so the three of you, your max hit
+points go up by five.
+
+LIAM: Oh, nice.
+
+MATT: You gain five hit points on top of that.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to Shakäste and I say: Are you a
+motivational speaker or something?
+
+KHARY: I pack them in on the Menagerie Coast,
+baby.
+
+TRAVIS: He knew the location!
+
+MARISHA: He totally did.
+
+TRAVIS: He fucking studied up!
+
+LAURA: There, it’s already at 30, so 31?? Sweet.
+
+MATT: All right, as you feel this sudden burst of
+physical hardiness surge within, this warm glow in
+
+your belly that helps stir you up to the future of
+physical impact and damage. That’s your action; do
+
+you want to move at all on your turn?
+
+KHARY: Sure. You know what? I think I’ll move up a
+few feet, and I’ll also take Anastasia and put her
+
+a little further forward, but at a safe distance
+from these people.
+
+MATT: All right. Like this direction, or this
+direction?
+
+KHARY: Actually, yeah, closer to me. Yeah, there
+we go.
+
+MATT: We’ll put Anastasia perching on the wall
+there, looking that way.
+
+KHARY: I like it.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends your turn. It’s now the
+gnolls’ go. This one is going to rush forward
+
+towards you. This skeletal one is going to rush
+forward towards Jester. This one’s going to stay
+
+back and continue to fire at Beau. It’s going to
+take a step back there. This one’s going to stay
+
+where it is and take a shot at Beau as well. We
+have one gnoll that’s attacking you with a spear.
+
+That’s a 12.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: You deflect it with your sickle, which
+you’ve unhooked from earlier. Just grab it and
+
+(shing) off to the side, parrying it. The skeletal
+witherling rushes up and is going to attempt to
+
+strike at you with a bite actually. It’s going to
+lash out with its horrible bony maw. That is
+
+going to be a ten.
+
+LAURA: Ha.
+
+MATT: You pull the shield up a little higher.
+Teeth shatter and break and fly off around the
+
+exterior of the shield.
+
+LAURA: I look over at Beau and I’m like: I’m doing
+you!
+
+MARISHA: Good job!
+
+MATT: As you’re doing that, “Good job!”, you look
+back just as two arrows go flying towards you from
+
+the two other gnolls. They both have disadvantage,
+I believe, right? Because you took your defensive stance.
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: All right, which is good because that
+would’ve been a 20, and an 11.
+
+MARISHA: Miss, miss.
+
+MATT: Well, that’s the first attack. I rolled a 20
+and 11. You dodge out of the way. The second one
+
+is going to be a 21 and a 22.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+MARISHA: See if I can catch another arrow.
+
+MATT: You take six points of piercing damage.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do my Deflect Missile.
+
+MATT: Reaction, right.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try and do like a frisbee
+catch in the air.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll your die.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a d10, right, d10? What was it, six
+damage?
+
+MATT: Six piercing damage.
+
+MARISHA: Five plus my seven, so yes.
+
+MATT: All right, so the first arrow you dodge out
+of the way, and the second one you see it coming
+
+out of the way. There’s a brief moment where time
+seems to (whirring) and you catch it right in the
+
+middle of your hand. It pulls you back a little
+bit and looking down you can see the arrow is
+
+there, right in the middle of your grip.
+
+MARISHA: (stuttering) We’re so cool right now!
+Yeah!
+
+KHARY: You’re welcome.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: That’s going to end the gnolls’ go. Molly,
+you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, I’m going to try and run up
+the stairs toward the undead guy.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a swing at him. That’s
+14 to hit?
+
+MATT: 14 hits him.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: Only a 12 armor class.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow. Let’s see what we do. That’s
+(counting) 11 points of damage?
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage is just what you needed.
+With your first strike, infused with the rite, you
+
+streak down with your first blow and your scimitar
+carves through the upper part of its shoulder
+
+blade into its ribcage. As you do, you watch as
+whatever necrotic energy’s holding its body
+
+together suddenly dissipates and all the bones
+clatter to the ground in a pile.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to keep running and to get to
+the other side of that other gnoll.
+
+MATT: This one here?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Actually, if there’s any way, can
+I get all the way around him?
+
+MATT: (counting) Yes, there is.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah! I don’t know if this is helpful,
+but I’m going to take my second swing. That’s 18
+
+to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MATT: You don’t get the bonus to your wisdom, but
+you still have the rite on that one.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s ten points of damage.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage on the other.
+
+LIAM: Regular gnoll.
+
+MATT: Using the momentum of that first strike, you
+continue running and with a backwards swipe carve
+
+through the back of the other gnoll. It arches its
+back with pain as you carve this giant wound
+
+across the back of its shoulder to about where the
+base of its spine is, and you see blood beginning
+
+to flow from its wound where the bits of the armor
+are separated, and the fur poking out from within
+
+the haphazard hide. I believe that ends your
+turn?
+
+TALIESIN: That ends my turn.
+
+MATT: All righty. End of Molly’s turn. Nott,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: (whimpers) That’s my turn.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: No, I will run up behind Shakäste and I’ll
+peek around and fire at the frosty one right in
+
+front of Jester.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go for it.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Frosty.
+
+SAM: Yeah, 24.
+
+MATT: 24 hits, and you do get sneak attack because
+it is currently–
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Engaged!
+
+TALIESIN: So engaged.
+
+LIAM: (Picard voice) Engage.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. It’s already taken 11
+from the rest of you, so that finishes it off.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: You wait for the moment where Jester moves
+out of the way. As it’s pulling back and beginning
+
+to try and strike again with its spear, and take
+the shot and watch as it hits right in the sternum
+
+and pulls back its spear and with its final thrust
+of momentum, falls to the ground into a pile and
+
+is now bleeding out of its mouth as it’s
+unconscious and dying on the ground.
+
+LAURA: I’m a really good fighter you guys!
+
+SAM: Bonus action, I will cast Mage Hand and pull
+back the cloak around Shakäste’s cloak, to see
+
+what’s in his back pocket.
+
+MATT: Can you cast it as a bonus action?
+
+SAM: You can use it as a bonus action.
+
+MATT: Meaning you cast it as an action. You can’t
+do that yet.
+
+SAM: Then I will do this with my hand.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check. I need you to
+go ahead and make a perception check.
+
+KHARY: Ah, yes.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: Roll a d20. Add your perception skill
+modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, 20.
+
+LIAM and KHARY: No.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you don’t notice it.
+
+What does he see hanging off the back of
+your belt?
+
+SAM: Anything off the belt, in the back pocket?
+
+KHARY: Oh, gosh, what do I have back there?
+
+TRAVIS: What don’t you have back there?
+
+KHARY: Yeah, what don’t I have back there?
+
+SAM: It’s assless chaps!
+
+(laughter)
+
+KHARY: He sees a pouch that’s relatively full, I
+would say.
+
+MATT: Okay. Just hanging right there on the back
+of the belt.
+
+SAM: Okay. Good to know. That’s my action; that’s
+my bonus action.
+
+MATT: That’s your action. That finishes your turn,
+Nott. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. That went really well, so I’m going
+to run– Oh, god, there’s three of them right there.
+
+TRAVIS: They’re going to spread pretty soon.
+
+LAURA: I know, but–
+
+TRAVIS: Right after you.
+
+LAURA: What am I going to do? I’m going to run
+into– Oh, no, that’s really dumb. I’m going to
+
+use my duplicate and she’s going to Toll the
+Dead.
+
+MATT: To which one?
+
+LAURA: To the orange one.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Come on, Toll the Dead!
+
+TRAVIS: One time!
+
+LAURA: It’s a wisdom saving throw!
+
+LIAM: Toll house.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Roll low!
+
+MATT: It did! It rolled a seven.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: This is a really loud gong. He takes four
+damage.
+
+MATT: Four points of damage. All right. That was
+to which one of these two?
+
+LAURA: The orange one.
+
+MATT: The orange one, okay. Both of them have been
+damaged now, a little bit. You watch as it shakes
+
+its head for a second, and it’s beginning to
+string another arrow. That finishes your turn?
+
+LAURA: Oh, had he not been damaged yet?
+
+MATT: He had not been damaged before.
+
+LAURA: I shouldn’t have rolled a 12. I should have
+rolled an eight.
+
+MATT: Then roll that eight.
+
+LAURA: Six damage.
+
+MATT: Weirdly, more damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Well, there you go. Now he’s damaged. Good
+catch on that. That end your turn or do you want
+
+to move? Well you moved your– oh, that was a
+bonus action.
+
+LAURA: As a bonus action I did that, so I’m going
+hop up on the table that I’m next to.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn. That brings us to– all,
+no, both of the skeletons have been destroyed.
+
+That’ll bring us to Beau’s turn.
+
+MARISHA: All right. I’m going to vault past
+everybody. Well, never mind they all moved. I’m
+
+going to run up right into fray.
+
+MATT: Five, ten, 15, which one?
+
+MARISHA: Right in between the orange guy and the
+gray guy.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+MARISHA: Hit, and then I’ll probably do my Flurry
+of Blows.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to run up, I’m going to go for
+a rib shot with the bo. It’s not a good roll. It’s
+
+not great. 12.
+
+MATT: 12 does not hit. As you rush forward to
+swing with your first strike, the one that’d been
+
+firing at you from the previous round notices your
+approach, throws the longbow over the arm and
+
+brings up the shield in the same motion and
+deflects the quick thrust of your staff.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. Okay.
+
+MATT: If you’re doing Flurry of Blows you have two
+more attacks on it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, wonder if that’s a good idea. Maybe
+I should– I’m going to Patient Defense this
+
+again. Do I have a bonus attack?
+
+MATT: No, you do that instead of your bonus
+attack. You hit once, it gets deflected, and you
+
+spend your bonus action to do Patient Defense.
+
+MARISHA: That didn’t go as well as I thought.
+
+MATT: That’s all right.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay. You’ve engaged them, which
+means they’re less likely to use their bows.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I don’t really have a clear view of what’s
+going on so I would, on this wall here, I would
+
+inch five or ten feet up the cave to see what’s
+going on.
+
+MATT: You get just about there.
+
+LIAM: I see a gigantic gnoll and– okay.
+
+MATT: The one that you saw earlier in Alfield and
+that you–
+
+LIAM: The big one.
+
+I’m going to do what I did to him before and
+I’m going to bring my hand once around, twice
+
+around, three times around and cast Scorching Ray
+on that one only. First is a 17.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Caleb!
+
+MATT: 17 hits.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: (cheering)
+
+LIAM: Second one hits as well, and the third one
+also hits.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: Take that.
+
+SAM: Those are the only hits he’s had all
+campaign.
+
+MARISHA: Guys, I think Shakäste makes us better
+people.
+
+LAURA: Shakäste, stay forever.
+
+MARISHA: He makes us better.
+
+LIAM: 18. That is a total of 20 of fire damage.
+
+MATT: 20 points of fire damage.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: That’s awesome. As he turns the corner, the
+two gnolls back out of the way and you see it
+
+standing there. It has its large two-handed glaive
+in its hand, its shield slung over one shoulder,
+
+the bow over the other, and seeing this for the
+first time, you see this larger, muscular, more
+
+dark-furred gnoll that looks like the leader of
+this cluster, this pack. The armor it has is
+
+chunks of chainmail and hide armor that are
+patched together where a number of long, thin
+
+spines, like heavy, bone-like spikes have been
+woven into it like a decoration to make it look
+
+extremely intimidating. Right as it grins and gets
+its glaive ready, it gets blasted with three beams
+
+of burning arcane energy as they hit and impact
+you watch as the flames curl up and it has to pat
+
+it out with its giant hand. (snarling) It took the
+hit like a champ, and it seems like it’s hurt, but
+
+it’s still doing pretty well.
+
+LIAM: I wipe my arm down and say: Oh boy.
+
+MATT: Is that your turn?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s done.
+
+MATT: That was a good round. That finishes Caleb’s
+turn. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I pick myself up out of my prone position
+there on the–
+
+MATT: Well technically you’re not prone, sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: I know, I was commenting on the way I was
+laying. Can I come up to the top of the stairs,
+
+right there? Keeping some of my movement left, and
+can I cast Eldritch Blast, at the gnoll that’s
+
+standing in front of the big bad baby?
+
+MATT: Right there? You may. Go ahead and roll the
+attack.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. That plus six, that’s eight points.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. That one, as it’s
+notching another arrow into its bow it takes the
+
+impact off of its shoulder. It grazed it.
+
+TRAVIS: With my bonus action, can I cast
+Hexblade’s Curse on the big motherfucker and say:
+
+Come on, you sack of shit, come get me.
+
+MATT: You may. We’ll mark him with the Hexblade
+Curse with this big old angry black circle to mark
+
+him as the target there.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use the rest of my movement to go
+back down the stairs?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+LAURA: Come get me, you coward!
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. Back of the combat
+round, it’s now the pack lord’s turn. The pack
+
+lord returns to this way–
+
+TALIESIN: Attack of opportunity– oh, no.
+
+MATT: No, it steps through the one and is going to
+turn this way, and rear back for a giant kick.
+
+It’s going to make a shove attack against you.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not a pit, is it?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s a big ol’ pit.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought they were stairs!
+
+MARISHA: But we couldn’t see that!
+
+SAM: It’s another poo hole.
+
+LIAM: I had no idea that was there!
+
+TALIESIN: Blood Maledict to all fuck.
+
+MATT: He already has disadvantage because of
+Patient Defense.
+
+LIAM: We can imagine that, Matt. We needed the
+fear of god.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, look at that.
+
+MARISHA: (groaning) Well. I’m suddenly having
+regrets.
+
+MATT: One and 17. What’s your armor class?
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+MATT: Oh, shit! All right, so, hold on.
+
+SAM: Does that hit or not?
+
+MATT: It hits. We’ll see with the shove.
+
+TRAVIS: I think it’s five feet unless it’s
+stronger. Could be ten.
+
+MATT: I’m seeing if there’s a contested check, we
+haven’t done the shove in a while here.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that back wall perfectly blocks that
+whole thing.
+
+MATT: I’m so sorry, guys. That’s my bad.
+
+MARISHA: Totally probably wouldn’t have even have
+run up.
+
+MATT: That’s my bad.
+
+LAURA: It’s fine. You’re just going to die.
+
+MARISHA: It’ll be great.
+
+SAM: You’ve got a staff. You can jam it into a
+thing on the way down.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! In more level I get Feather Fall.
+That would’ve been nice.
+
+LIAM: Your eldritch knight is going to be great.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you!
+
+MATT: Oh, actually it doesn’t have a roll of
+attack against you, technically, so that wouldn’t
+
+have mattered. It’s a contested athletics versus
+your–
+
+MARISHA: Versus my strength, right?
+
+MATT: Versus your athletics or acrobatics, your
+choice.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the acrobatics.
+
+LIAM: Come on, ninja!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh man!
+
+MATT: I’ll check real fast to see if your Patient
+Defense affects that at all, not sure if it does.
+
+TRAVIS: Give her your energy, guys. What the fuck
+are you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t want my energy,
+it’s been bad.
+
+TRAVIS and LIAM: (chanting, rhythmic breathing)
+
+MARISHA: Are you looking for patient defense
+shit?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it doesn’t affect this roll,
+unfortunately. It’s just a straight roll.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it doesn’t?
+
+MATT: Nope. It’s a contested roll.
+
+TRAVIS: You got this.
+
+LIAM: (chanting) Monk monk monk.
+
+LAURA: (glumly) I know what he rolled.
+
+MATT: It’s a natural 20.
+
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: You can come look at The Snitch right now.
+
+MARISHA: You did this! If I die it’s on your
+head!
+
+TALIESIN: You can make this go away at any time.
+
+MATT: Make your acrobatics check. It’s not an
+automatic success.
+
+SAM: Just roll a natural 20.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god. Pick the dice that I use.
+
+LIAM: A natural 20?
+
+MATT: It’s a 23 total. It only has a plus three
+strength bonus, so.
+
+LIAM: This is clearly a case of the husband
+favoring the wife.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t want to die. (yelling) Ugh!
+Goddamn it! That happened before!
+
+MATT: It was almost an 18 and it went to a four.
+So! He shoves you, not actually with the shield.
+
+He pulls back and Sparta kicks you. Right as you
+turn to try and defend, whack! It hits you right
+
+in the sternum and you get pushed back five feet,
+which puts you right on the edge. I need you to go
+
+ahead and make a dexterity check to try and catch
+yourself.
+
+MARISHA: Make a what?
+
+MATT: Dexterity saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Saving throw? (Panicked breathing) I’m
+good at this.
+
+LAURA: Don’t say those things, Marisha.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we’re not good at anything. Let’s
+stop pretending that we’re good at anything.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, because you did have patient dodge
+going, right?
+
+MARISHA: I had Patient Defense, but–
+
+MATT: It’s against attack rolls, but I feel like I
+just saw something. For dodge action, “and you
+
+make dexterity saving throws with advantage.”
+
+MARISHA: I do?
+
+MATT: You do, so roll with advantage.
+
+MATT: It’s a high DC, you have to beat I think
+with this and the impact that hit you, you have to
+
+beat an 18, so go for it. You have advantage!
+
+LAURA: You can do it.
+
+LIAM: Advantage and have a good bonus.
+
+MARISHA: I have to roll at least a 12.
+
+LIAM: You’ve already fallen off one cliff, you’re
+not going to do it again.
+
+MARISHA: That’s an 11.
+
+LAURA: Oh god!
+
+MARISHA: Please be better.
+
+LIAM: It’s the exact same thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Two 11s! Two! 11s!
+
+MATT: You watch as Beau slips, can’t get a grip,
+and then falls and tumbles into the pit below.
+
+MARISHA: (fading scream)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Shit.
+
+LIAM: Blind justice.
+
+SAM: The pit is six feet deep.
+
+KHARY: There’s a grate on that– can you grab it?
+
+MARISHA: Busting fingernails.
+
+MATT: That’s what she was trying to grab as you
+fell back. That was the dexterity saving throw,
+
+because it was a grate. You suffer 11 points of
+bludgeoning damage, which– it’s not bad. You fell
+
+40 feet and landed on your back onto hard rocks
+and stones.
+
+TALIESIN: Could have been worse, although you are
+our tank.
+
+MARISHA: (wheezing) It knocks the air out of me,
+so going to be sick, I guess. Hit real good.
+
+(normally) 11 points?
+
+KHARY: Did the aid I give help at all with that?
+
+MATT: Oh yeah!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, right. Hang on.
+
+MATT: You have five more hit points than you had
+before the battle started.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it halved the fall damage. That’s
+so mean.
+
+MATT: That ends his go. Shakäste, you’re up. You
+watched Beau fall into this pit behind–
+
+LIAM: What a turn around.
+
+KHARY: God.
+
+MARISHA: (wheezing) I’m good. I’m okay.
+
+SAM: There’s an old man down in the bottom of the
+pit.
+
+KHARY: Good to know. Let’s see, I’m running out of
+spells. Let’s see. I can’t do this anymore because
+
+LIAM: Well, you can do this a million times.
+
+KHARY: I can do this a million times?
+
+MATT: You have four 1st-level spells per day you
+can cast and two second. You’ve used one
+
+2nd-level, so have one of those, and you’ve cast
+Thunderwave before, so you still have three
+
+1st-level spells.
+
+KHARY: I still have three 1st-level spells.
+
+MATT: Correct. You can cast with any of those.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. Would it be best– could I
+Command the big guy?
+
+MATT: You could try.
+
+MARISHA and MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+MATT: What do you want to Command him to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Or one of the smaller ones if you want a
+higher rate of success, maybe.
+
+LIAM: Maybe get a little bit closer.
+
+KHARY: Right, maybe, yeah get a little bit closer
+in order to–
+
+LIAM: Not all the way.
+
+KHARY: No, I can see him just fine.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can see him, the big guy.
+
+LIAM: 60 feet of range on that.
+
+KHARY: Yeah, how close am I to him?
+
+MATT: He’s within range. He’s about 30 feet from
+you.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see, if I asked him to drop or asked
+him to fall– could I ask him to fall on his fellows?
+
+MATT: You can’t ask him to fall on somebody else’s
+weapon. You can ask him to drop prone if you want to.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, what are they, like “lie down” or
+“drop your weapons��� or it’s a single word, so
+
+“drop.” Drop everything in his hands, or you could
+say “lay.”
+
+SAM: Turn, jump.
+
+LAURA: Drop his weapon, no don’t listen to me, do
+what you want.
+
+LIAM: You could say “dance” and he would just
+start dancing.
+
+KHARY: The target doesn’t move and takes no
+action. How about– oh, you know what? Drop,
+
+TRAVIS: Keep going.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s pretty good.
+
+KHARY: I say: Halt. I say we tell the big guy to
+halt. Not to mention, “halt” is good, because he’s
+
+actually standing in front of his dudes as well,
+that’d give them– that would make it harder for
+
+them to move.
+
+MATT: So what do you say as he finishes kicking
+Beau into the pit and turns (snarling).
+
+KHARY: Halt. Is what I say. Halt!
+
+MATT: It looks back towards you, and I see the
+spell DC is 13 for you. That is a two, it does not
+
+succeed. You watch as it puts its weapons down for
+a second and looks right at you, eyes wide,
+
+confused as it turns its head (inquisitive
+sound).
+
+SAM: Does that last a round?
+
+LAURA: He keeps his weapons in his hand, though?
+
+KHARY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it takes no actions for its next
+turn.
+
+KHARY: Yeah, he doesn’t do anything.
+
+MATT: Do you want to move or stay where you are?
+
+KHARY: Let’s see, I actually feel pretty good
+about where I am.
+
+MATT: It’s the gnoll’s turn.
+
+KHARY: I can still see everything, right?
+
+MATT: Yep. These guys are going to back up a
+little bit, and they’re both going to take shots,
+
+one at Molly and one at Jester. At Molly, that is
+a 16. What’s your armor class?
+
+TALIESIN: It hits.
+
+MATT: It hits? You take four points of piercing
+damage. Attacking against you, Jester. A natural
+
+20, I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: Could they tell it was my illusion right
+there?
+
+MATT: They noticed earlier, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: Damn it.
+
+MATT: That’s okay, it’s not too bad. That’s eight
+points of piercing damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Oh! I’m going to take it.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends their turn, Molly, you’re up
+first.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to rush around to the left of
+the big guy. His left, I’m sorry. Right over here.
+
+Right in there. I’m going to take two shots and
+see what happens.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I have advantage or anything because
+he’s not moving, or–?
+
+MATT: No, he just doesn’t make action on his
+turn.
+
+LAURA: Can he not react either?
+
+MATT: He can react, but he doesn’t– He can’t take
+any actions or move on this turn.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. That hits, that’s a 23.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll roll damage on that. He doesn’t get
+the bonus, does he? None of that special power
+
+against him?
+
+MATT: No, you don’t.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh, that’s nice! 13 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage from that first strike.
+You carve through the body. Its eyes still locked
+
+on– (chuckles) Its eyes are still locked on
+Shakäste, not looking away, going (grunts).
+
+TALIESIN: Shot number two is 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage again for that one.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s seven points of damage. I’m going
+to try and see what happens if I disengage.
+
+MATT: All right. So as you back away.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to back away towards me.
+
+MATT: That way. It sees you walk away and makes a
+strike towards you.
+
+TALIESIN: Does he try and make his strike?
+
+MATT: He does.
+
+TALIESIN: I was just curious. I was going to hit
+him if he’s going to try and hit me. I’m going to
+
+hit him right back with Blood Maledict.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’ll give him disadvantage.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use the full Blood Maledict
+so I’m going to take a little damage. Yep. Oh, I
+
+take my three points of damage. I start bleeding
+again from the neck.
+
+MATT: As his eyes go black and you watch him begin
+to bleed from the corners of its eyes.
+
+MATT: The second roll for that attack was a three
+plus five. So yeah, it misses you; it’s an eight.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to back up a little further to
+get–
+
+MATT: Like over here?
+
+MATT: Ending Molly’s turn, Nott, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Right up here, if that’s okay.
+
+SAM: No one’s in sneaky range. I’m going to caress
+the little pouch, little bit. Looking up to Caleb
+
+to see if he’s looking at me at all.
+
+LIAM: I’m not, by the way.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Trying to make good choices. I will leave the
+pouch and draw the hand crossbow and run up a few
+
+stairs and then I will crouch down on my knee and
+hold my attack until someone is within sneak
+
+attack range.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you’re holding that there. Ending
+your turn Nott, Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to run forward and attack
+him because he’s not moving at all.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: He doesn’t have a reaction, so you can
+back away now.
+
+TRAVIS: Dude, Command is clutch.
+
+MATT: So both of you guys make your attack. Or
+whatever you’re doing, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: 23.
+
+LAURA: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 also hits. Both of you guys roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: 16 hits?
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15 points of damage.
+
+LAURA: Four points of damage.
+
+MATT: How do you guys want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Currently held.
+
+LAURA and SAM: (yelling)
+
+SAM: Jester! We’ve solved the mystery!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It was him! He did it!
+
+LAURA: It was you!
+
+LAURA and SAM: (yelling)
+
+MATT: As you collide with the gnoll pack lord as
+you release a bolt that strikes it in the throat.
+
+LIAM: We’ve got four jokes this campaign.
+
+MATT: The bolt sinks through one of the eyes as
+the sickle hits the other and it (choking) and it
+
+tries to make one final thrust before the halt
+magic prevents it from doing so and it (falls).
+
+MATT: And falls to the ground.
+
+TRAVIS: Dude, thank you for that. Because of that,
+I regain hit points equal to my warlock level plus
+
+my charisma modifier.
+
+MARISHA: Oh because your Hex thing?
+
+TRAVIS: Really appreciate that.
+
+MARISHA: That’s awesome.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we do. Wait, what kind of weapon was
+that guy holding?
+
+MATT: That was a glaive. It was a large two-handed
+polearm with an axe head at the end of it.
+
+LAURA: That’s really big.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty big.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven points I heal. That’s fucking
+sweet.
+
+KHARY: Which means to bluff.
+
+TRAVIS: To blathe!
+
+MATT: That ends Jester’s turn. That brings us to
+Beau.
+
+MARISHA: (groaning)
+
+MATT: You’re like (groaning). You get up from
+prone, so it’s half your movement.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck, that’s half of my damn movement?
+
+MARISHA: All right. Can I do some cool monk shit
+and do like a (wall jumping) to get out?
+
+MATT: It is a small enough space, I’ll let you
+make an athletics check or acrobatics check
+
+instead of athletics.
+
+MARISHA: Is it small enough to where I can do the
+wedge myself–
+
+MATT: It is not small enough for that,
+unfortunately. It’s about a ten foot gap, but you
+
+can leap from side to side or you can climb with
+athletics. It’s your choice.
+
+MARISHA: Is leap from side to side also
+athletics?
+
+MATT: That’s acrobatics to do that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that one. Let’s do that one.
+
+MATT: It’s monkish. Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Monkish? Okay. 19.
+
+MATT: You leap, leap, leap, leap. You get about 20
+feet up your movement before you have to grab onto
+
+the wall to stop yourself.
+
+MARISHA: 18. Sorry.
+
+MATT: That’s fine. Still enough. And if you wanted
+to use an action to dash, you could make it the
+
+rest of the way up.
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Pole vaulting off, parkouring up the wall
+until eventually you leap and get back up to the top.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey!
+
+MARISHA: Did you guys know there’s a hole?
+
+TALIESIN: I did not know that. Did not know that.
+
+TRAVIS: We did not.
+
+MARISHA: Now I climbed out of the hole to two
+gnolls. Hole to gnoll?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Cool.
+
+MATT: Ending Beau’s turn, Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Caleb, who was just going into his bag to
+pull out a ro– oh, she does not need the rope,
+
+okay. So instead I pull out the diamond and I
+start spinning it around and it turns to thunder
+
+and I sent that flying into the tannish colored–
+Chromatic Orb to that one, yeah.
+
+MATT: Right there? All right, roll for the
+attack.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Thunder.
+
+LIAM: That hits. That is a 20 to hit.
+
+MATT: 20 hits. Roll damage.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. This is thunder damage is a total
+of… oh, just eight, you know. Just eight points
+
+of thunder damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. It impacts and it
+looks like really hurt now and it’s like (heavy
+
+breathing). It’s getting ready to run. It looks
+like it’s in the process of deciding to flee.
+
+LIAM: Okay. This looks good. I’m going to back
+down the stairs and stand by Shakäste, I think.
+
+Diplomatic immunity!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Finishing Caleb’s turn, Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use my full movement to come back up
+the stairs as far as I can? 30 feet.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast into the darker gnoll.
+Yes.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Roll to attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus six. That is 21.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. That is (counting) 15 points of
+Eldritch Blast damage.
+
+MATT: That one, seeing the other one about to
+flee, tries to turn to meet gait right before your
+
+Eldritch Blast slams it in the back and core
+through its abdomen, leaving this burning hole in
+
+the center before it falls to the ground and
+collapses dead. Its friend going (whimpering).
+
+It’s now looking scared and ready to bolt. That
+ends Fjord’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MATT: Pack lord’s gone. Shakäste, you’re up. There
+is this one who’s very wounded and about to flee.
+
+KHARY: Yes. I will run a few steps up and hit it
+with Sacred Flame.
+
+MATT: All righty. That is a natural four. It does
+not succeed so roll damage on that one. d8 radiant
+
+damage.
+
+LAURA: You got up!
+
+MARISHA: I did! It took everything.
+
+LIAM: All good! Sechs!Sechs-y.
+
+KHARY: Six.
+
+MATT: Six points of damage. That’s– aw man,
+almost! As it bursts into flame, its body is now
+
+singed by the radiant energy that’s burned around
+its torso. It’s breathing heavy and limping and
+
+it’s going to go ahead and– is that the end of
+your turn?
+
+KHARY: Is that the end of my turn? That’s a
+great question.
+
+MATT: That’s your movement, your action so.
+
+KHARY: I moved and I action so bonus action? Is
+there some?
+
+MATT: If you have anything that could use a bonus
+action.
+
+KHARY: I know that there’s something here that has
+a bonus action.
+
+MATT: You have a spell that does it, but I don’t
+think it’s going to be helpful right now.
+
+LIAM: Spiritual Weapon.
+
+KHARY and LIAM: Nah.
+
+MATT: Yeah, hold off on that. Okay, so that ends
+your turn. It’s going to turn and bolt. It was
+
+right up against you, so you do get an attack of
+opportunity on it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yes! Fuck you!
+
+LIAM: It’s got one hit point.
+
+MARISHA and LIAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. One! Plus four, so five
+damage.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: As it spins to run away, you’re like “No you
+don’t!” (whack) and slam it on the head. It falls.
+
+(grunt) “Again!” You just slowly bash it to the
+ground until its head’s a mashed-in pulp.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: Wait! Not the pulp, we need the ears!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit. Oh no. Is there still an ear
+left?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can pull the ears out. There a
+little wet, but they’re functional.
+
+LAURA: That’s three gnoll sets and I’m going to
+mark one as super special because it’s big.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re also going to go through the
+pockets of the big one, obviously.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. we’ll come back and begin that
+right after we take a quick break. So we’re going
+
+to take a quick break. I’m going to sit back down
+here. We’ll continue the story here in just a
+
+moment, but before we do that, real fast, we have
+a couple things. One, we have a gift here from
+
+Wyrmwood for our resident monk over there.
+
+MARISHA: What, really?
+
+LIAM: With a letter.
+
+SAM: I didn’t get a letter!
+
+MATT: Apparently, she’s got fans at Wyrmwood.
+
+LIAM: Patrick Rothfuss again?
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, this is to all– wait. Oh. It
+was probably addressed to me because of Geek &
+
+Sundry.
+
+MATT: That’s probably it.
+
+MARISHA: But this is to all of us. “To the cast of
+Critical Role, while–” Hang on, let me make
+
+sure.
+
+SAM: It’s mostly cursing.
+
+TRAVIS: What is that word down there?
+
+MATT: Open it! While she’s reading it. Wyrmwood is
+giving away two Adventurer’s Arsenals, which we’ve
+
+shown previously on weeks here, that are zebra
+wood. If you guys haven’t seen it, Wyrmwood’s last
+
+Kickstarter. It’s a packaged dice box and then on
+the inside, holds your dice, holds your pencil or
+
+pen, eraser or mini. All magnetized in there.
+We’re giving away two of these at the break to
+
+anybody who wants to enter.
+
+MARISHA: It’s mine.
+
+LIAM: It’s yours.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It is a gift for me.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+MARISHA: It’s so great.
+
+LAURA: Thanks, Wyrmwood. Thanks for Marisha.
+
+MATT: Oh, they give us plenty. Anyway, two of you
+will win this. When you’re prompted in the chat
+
+and only in Twitch chat, to use the keyword
+'hush’. H-U-ace-H-S. H-U-S-H. There we go, I can
+
+spell. Brain not working, too much math. Hush in
+the chat, when you’re prompted. Only enter once or
+
+you’ll be disqualified, but we’ll come back with
+two winners after the break. We’ll see you guys
+
+here in a few minutes.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve gotta pee!
+
+TALIESIN: Nice.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello and welcome back everybody. So, before
+we jump in here, we have our two winners in the
+
+chat of the Wyrmwood giveaway. They are
+Grugswald.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Grugswald and onegirlx10. Congratulations to
+you guys, Grugswold and onegirlx10, Danoba will
+
+contact you and get your information and get those
+sent to you in the chat. Congratulations and we’ll
+
+have more of these in future episodes. They’re
+awesome. They’re pretty rad.
+
+MARISHA: They came fully stocked. Look at that.
+Look at how jealous Laura is. Look at that. It
+
+fuels me. I love it.
+
+MATT: I would be careful.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m here more than you these days. You
+better hide that thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Other people’s dice.
+
+LIAM: All those dice that you could check before
+the game. You could roll them.
+
+MATT: Bringing it back in, guys.
+
+LIAM: We’re all real good friends.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: No. Congratulations, Marisha.
+
+TALIESIN: So happy for you.
+
+MATT: You guys, finishing this fray, you gather
+the gnoll ears as well as–
+
+LAURA: Rummage through their bodies.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check. The two of you
+who are investigating their bodies.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll give advantage.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Advantage.
+
+LAURA: I did. I know. I’m doing that.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. That’s not good.
+
+LAURA: (yelling) Did you see that?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s cocked. Well.
+
+LAURA: That is not cocked. I rolled a one and a
+two.
+
+MATT: Aw.
+
+LAURA: So yeah. A three for investigation.
+
+MATT: Okay. Well, there’s the glaive. It’s hard to
+miss that. It’s pretty well-made; it’s sturdy, it
+
+has some of the spines that are part of the armor
+as well affixed to it along the top.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take it. How heavy is it?
+
+MATT: It’s like– Let me look at how much a glaive
+weighs according to the book. The glaive is about
+
+six pounds. It’s not too bad. Well, this one’s
+probably closer to ten. It’s a pretty top-heavy.
+
+It’s designed for a gnoll. Or at least designed
+for something big that wants to hurt something
+
+badly. You do manage through a collection of
+shinies in the pack leader’s pockets and manage to
+
+find roughly 13 gold pieces, three silver and no
+copper. It only wants things that are shiny.
+
+Copper aren’t as shiny to them.
+
+LAURA: Who wants this gold? Anybody?
+
+TALIESIN: Never say no to gold.
+
+KHARY: I could use it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah?
+
+KHARY: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Here is three gold for you.
+
+KHARY: You are the best thing.
+
+LAURA: Here is three gold for you.
+
+LIAM: How much was in there?
+
+LAURA: There’s seven gold left. Here’s three gold
+for you.
+
+SAM: Where does Shakäste?
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm. Shakäste.
+
+SAM: Where does Shakäste put the gold?
+
+MATT: Where does Shakäste put the gold?
+
+KHARY: I put it in my–
+
+MATT: You can do it discreetly if you want to.
+
+KHARY: Well, I suppose a blind man does put his
+gold in his back pocket pretty discreetly,
+
+actually. He doesn’t have to look at it.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check. Or a sleight of hand
+check.
+
+LAURA: Three gold for you. I’ve got one gold
+left.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’ll take it.
+
+KHARY: It’s a nine.
+
+MATT: Plus what’s your sleight of hand skill?
+
+KHARY: Sleight of hand is plus five.
+
+MATT: So 14. Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so you have no idea. He receives the
+gold and the hand disappears beneath the cloak
+
+which is now covering most of his torso and you
+have no idea where it got put.
+
+LAURA: How much silver did you say there was?
+
+MATT: Two silver.
+
+KHARY: Do I notice her looking at me? I mean, does
+Anastasia notice her looking at me?
+
+MATT: I mean, no more than anybody looks at
+anybody.
+
+KHARY: All right.
+
+MATT: The little goblin girl isn’t leering at you.
+I mean, has been leering at you since you arrived
+
+but nothing in a way that catches your attention.
+
+KHARY: Nothing out of the ordinary. Very good.
+Nice to know.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check. Roll a d20 and add
+your insight skill.
+
+KHARY: Insight. Nine. Nine plus insight is plus
+three so, eh.
+
+MATT: It’s a 12. I’d say, yeah. No more than
+usual.
+
+KHARY: Right. She’s got awfully big eyes.
+
+MATT: As you guys get closer to the exit where
+this broken, hinged archway was, this double door
+
+archway about eight to ten feet wide, a new smell
+rushes into your nose. Whereas previously it had
+
+been just decaying earth and dust there’s now this
+musky smell that resembles the faint mixture of
+
+urine and citrus. It’s hard to place, but it’s new
+and it’s different than the rest of the mines
+
+you’ve been through.
+
+LIAM: It’s a step up for me.
+
+SAM: We got all the ears?
+
+LAURA: We got all the ears. Should we search for
+more survivors and then burn it to the ground?
+
+LIAM: Like the mine?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Burn the mine to the ground? Under the
+ground?
+
+LAURA: Well, we can explode it.
+
+TALIESIN: You can.
+
+KHARY: I appreciate your excitability. Why don’t I
+let the bird do the talking?
+
+LAURA: You mean search for people?
+
+KHARY: That’s what I meant, baby. Thank you.
+
+MATT: (humming) You watch at the Duchess makes her
+way further down the tunnel.
+
+SAM: As the Duchess flies away, I push on
+Shakäste’s body a little bit and see if I get any
+
+reaction.
+
+MATT: You feel this tiny goblin hand push on you.
+There does not seem to be a reaction.
+
+SAM: I’m going to pick the pocket of Shakäste.
+
+MATT: As you’re focused currently to the vision of
+your– you do not sense–
+
+KHARY: I do not sense a thing?
+
+MATT: You do not because currently all of your
+senses are through your familiar. So unfortunately no.
+
+KHARY: That’s fine by me.
+
+TALIESIN: Do any of us notice this?
+
+SAM: I will use sleight of hand to conceal this
+from the group.
+
+MATT: You will have to, so make a sleight of hand
+check.
+
+SAM: Okay. Yeah, okay, that’s not great.
+
+LIAM: Our guests are like farm animals that we
+mine for loot.
+
+SAM: 14.
+
+MATT: 14. Nobody has a passive perception higher
+than a 13, I think.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Mine’s 13.
+
+TRAVIS: Negative.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. 13.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: Horrible bastard.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and mark nine gold pieces off of
+your total and you take nine gold.
+
+SAM: I’m going for that pouch.
+
+MATT: The whole pouch?
+
+KHARY: You’re going for the whole– Wait, I
+wouldn’t feel the entire pouch being pulled off of my–
+
+MATT: You don’t, unfortunately, because your
+senses. Well wait, no, it’s sight and hearing,
+
+isn’t it?
+
+LIAM: It’s sight and hearing for Find Familiar.
+
+MATT: That’s right! I take it back. He didn’t
+react to you being touched earlier, but I need you
+
+to go ahead and make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Nah, it’s pretty good.
+
+KHARY: 13.
+
+MATT: Plus what is your perception skill?
+
+KHARY: Plus insight or–?
+
+LIAM: There it is, 16.
+
+KHARY: Perception? 16.
+
+MATT: After the initial pat, you were focused, it
+didn’t bother much. You feel your belt tug a bit
+
+and you feel suddenly the back of your armor begin
+to get a little lighter as your pouch is
+
+noticeably being removed from your person.
+
+SAM: He doesn’t know by whom!
+
+MATT: No.
+
+SAM: Just knows that it’s happening?
+
+MATT: It’s happening.
+
+SAM: And can’t react?
+
+MATT: I mean, he can if he chooses too.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+MATT: Shakäste, do you want to do anything?
+
+MARISHA: You have a height that’s very
+identifiable. It’s a very recognizable level
+
+you’re on.
+
+KHARY: No, I don’t want to do anything.
+
+MATT: You undo the pouch and now have it in your
+possession. As you’re focusing through the
+
+Duchess’s vision, beyond the broken doorway the
+tunnel grows rougher as you sense that the deeper
+
+shafts of the mines are coming to an end fairly
+soon. The scent the Duchess is picking up is
+
+strong, that weird musky smell. After about 100
+feet of it snaking a little bit forward, through
+
+ten, 15 foot wide tunnels, suddenly the tunnel
+opens, into a large, rocky alcove formation,
+
+stalactites from the ceiling, and some elements of
+broken digging equipment around the corners of
+
+this chamber. The uneven ceilings stand about 15
+to 20 feet tall within in places, and are scarred
+
+with pick marks from various attempts to meet the
+end of the mine, which apparently were not enough
+
+to keep the mine in business. A rough slope
+descends from the immediate entrance to this
+
+tunnel, hits the wall before it, rises a few feet
+past that to a smaller platform that meets the
+
+opposite side of the wall, about 70 or 80 feet to
+the other side. The chamber’s about 80-foot from
+
+where you enter to the opposite end. Near the base
+of the raised rock you see two humanoid figures,
+
+sitting against each other, bound tightly in ropes
+and above the platform on top, you see a figure
+
+you haven’t seen yet. Human-like, but seems to
+have large chunks of gnoll flesh strapped to their
+
+body, like they used a disembodied gnoll arm as a
+glove, a gnoll head with the jaw removed and
+
+hollowed out used as a hood. There is this
+individual carrying baubles and chains of some
+
+symbols across their neck and they’re spattered
+with blood. They’re standing at the top, currently
+
+holding a third humanoid figure who is bound in
+ropes, and dragging them up the stairs to this
+
+platform on the opposite end. Next to this
+gnoll-wearing priestly-like figure, you see the
+
+figure in their arm is a guard, one of the
+Crownsguard of Alfield. You don’t recognize him at
+
+a glance, but you can see they are currently still
+living, bloodied and are being dragged up to the
+
+top of this platform. You can see right at the top
+of this raised section a monstrous mound of broken
+
+wood, rope, burlap and scrap from nearby within
+the mine that has been amassed into this large
+
+pile. At that moment a majority of the mound
+begins to move and shift, as two large, brown red,
+
+leathery wings unfurl from the mound. Where a
+fur-covered body steps out. Is the Duchess going
+
+to stay and continue to watch?
+
+KHARY: I can explain what is happening as she
+sees.
+
+MATT: You can. You are describing this verbally to
+everybody?
+
+KHARY: Yes, absolutely.
+
+LAURA: What should we do? What should we do?
+
+KHARY: We should wait and see what else unfurls in
+this thing.
+
+MATT: This creature stands up from within this
+pile, you can now see this large, lion-like body
+
+and torso the size of a rhinoceros, massive and
+muscled, with giant clawed paws. Around the neck
+
+you see this thick, red, fiery mane of hair and a
+humanoid female face, dark and tanned, with this
+
+large, curled grin. The mouth that opens and hangs
+with rows of sharp teeth, but weirdly humanoid in
+
+appearance. It turns its head towards this
+priestly figure, who thrusts the guard to the
+
+front and says “Come, gifted mother. Feed and may
+you grow strong. Your strength is a boon from
+
+Yeenoghu, and one that will bring us much more
+meat in the time to come,” and kicks the guard
+
+forward. This large beast turns, and inspects the
+frightened, shaking, and sobbing guard. “Your god
+
+meats hold me to nothing, but your offer pleases
+me and my child.” As the beast stands up further
+
+in this pile of rough, found pieces of wood and
+twine, a small infant of its same species seems to
+
+be wound up and begins to mewl in its place. It’s
+pawing at the air, its eyes not even freshly
+
+opened. This creature steps forward and bites into
+the Crownsguard and lifts it up as he begins to
+
+scream. The rest of you hear the echoing screaming
+in the distance of the Crownsguard.
+
+LAURA: I think that means he ate him!
+
+MATT: As it begins to bite and crunch, pulling its
+jaw open, it tears it into two halves and begins
+
+to chew on the upper torso. The screaming has
+stopped.
+
+SAM: Get your medical kit ready.
+
+LAURA: Don’t think it’s going to help.
+
+KHARY: There are two people left?
+
+MATT: There are two people left in the room and
+you can look around the vicinity. It looks like
+
+there were more people in here that have probably
+been fed over the past hour.
+
+KHARY: This sacrifice will not end. First, Duchess
+come back to me.
+
+LAURA: Should we go in?
+
+KHARY: We should talk. This is going to take a
+minute.
+
+MATT: Thankfully, nobody seems to notice Duchess’s
+presence as Duchess retracts back into your chamber.
+
+TALIESIN: How flammable is that nest?
+
+LAURA: I meant it’s–
+
+KHARY: How far is the nest away?
+
+MATT: It’s past 100 feet of tunnel before it opens
+up into the chamber, which is another 80 feet from
+
+the entrance.
+
+SAM: How big was the chamber?
+
+LIAM: 80 feet.
+
+SAM: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: To give you a visual.
+
+SAM: A visual? Matt, there’s too many maps!
+
+TALIESIN: (Singing) Too many maps! Too many maps!
+
+KHARY: Oh look at this thing!
+
+MATT: So you can prepare.
+
+SAM: That– What?!
+
+SAM: That is upper level shit!
+
+LAURA: What are we doing? We’re level three! What
+are we doing? We got to go in, we got to throw
+
+some dynamite, get the people out, and run!
+
+KHARY: We got one stick.
+
+LAURA: We got two sticks!
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t see any support columns. I’m just
+going to say it.
+
+TALIESIN: No, we hit the nest. Set the nest on
+fire and it’ll run.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You got to get pretty danger close
+to do that, though. I’ve got to stand up and look,
+
+make sure there’s no damn holes.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, good point. Yep!
+
+MATT: No holes in the chamber from what you can
+see.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the baby, the little thing.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, no load bearing support columns that
+we can see right?
+
+MATT: Not that you can see, no. There are various
+portions in the ceiling that are stalactites. It
+
+looks like it’s the deepest part of the mine,
+which is the roughest, which means it does not
+
+have a lot of support structure built into it for
+the miners. This like it’s as deep as they got
+
+before they abandoned it from the veins dried up.
+
+TRAVIS: Before shit started going wrong?
+
+MATT: This mine has been long abandoned. The
+recent occupants seem to have discovered it, and
+
+taken it their own.
+
+KHARY: Well, personally I’m a fan of freedom of
+religion, but that’s got its limits.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s fair to draw a line at human
+sacrifice.
+
+KHARY: I think so.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Let’s–
+
+SAM: We can’t possibly kill whatever that beast
+is.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know, maybe not on our own, two at a
+time. I’m pretty tapped, but there’s a lot of us
+
+here and only a few of them there, according to
+our new friend.
+
+SAM: But there’s only two survivors in there,
+right?
+
+TRAVIS: Two survivors and two enemies, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but what happens if they get
+sacrificed?
+
+SAM: No, I mean, what if we just get the survivors
+out and leave?
+
+MARISHA: I think that’s smart.
+
+KHARY: I tend to agree with my little friend.
+
+LAURA: And we steal the baby.
+
+LIAM: We could also try and seal the cave behind
+us as we go?
+
+TALIESIN: Sealing the cave would be one thing, I
+think stealing the baby is going to be a bit of a–
+
+TRAVIS: I love your enthusiasm, but I tend to
+agree with Molly here. Maybe the baby just stays put?
+
+MARISHA: If we can get the baby, I bet it would
+fetch a high price.
+
+SAM: A baby should be with its mother.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. We might kill the mom though, or bury
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: I think I’m okay with that.
+
+SAM: As long as they are close to each other.
+
+TRAVIS: It just ate a Crownsguard in half.
+
+LAURA: Let’s get it out, and then collapse the
+tunnel leading to it. Then they can get stuck in
+
+this room.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: Could we do a quick inventory check of how
+much of these boom sticks that we have, the TNT?
+
+LAURA: We have one and one.
+
+KHARY: I have one.
+
+LIAM: We have more than one? You have one?
+
+KHARY: I have one.
+
+LIAM: We have one amongst. Okay.
+
+LAURA: We should make our way towards this,
+though. They’re going to get to the next hostage
+
+by the time we get to this room, cause we’re 100
+feet away from it still.
+
+TALIESIN: We make our way.
+
+LAURA: Start walking.
+
+TALIESIN: Stealthy walk.
+
+LAURA: Stealthily.
+
+MATT: You guys all making an approach?
+
+SAM: Stealthily.
+
+MATT: Roll stealth, please.
+
+LAURA: Who needs a blessing? Caleb, you need a
+blessing!
+
+LIAM: It would help.
+
+LAURA: You’re shitty at stealth right?
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty shitty at stealth.
+
+LAURA: I bless you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m pretty iffy.
+
+KHARY: 19!
+
+LIAM: Plus?
+
+KHARY: Plus five.
+
+LIAM: Thank you, Jester, for saving my ass because
+the first roll was a four. The second one was a
+
+15.
+
+TRAVIS: Are there steps?
+
+MATT: Yes, right there.
+
+LAURA: Oh, they’re real close to them.
+
+MATT: All right so, marching order please.
+
+LIAM and LAURA: I’m in the back!
+
+SAM: Wait, what’s our plan?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to make a bunch of noise,
+we’re going to throw some dynamite, we’re going to
+
+get the kids to run and we’re going to keep them
+distracted by threatening the baby.
+
+SAM: That’s not a plan.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, it is a plan!
+
+SAM: No, to kill or to capture the–
+
+LAURA: We get the guards out, we get the people
+out.
+
+SAM: Get the guards out and run? So who are we
+leaving back with the sticks?
+
+LAURA: Oh, we’re all going to be in there.
+
+MATT: What is the marching order?
+
+TALIESIN: We will throw the sticks.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll go up front with Fjord.
+
+SAM: No! We should use the sticks to blow up
+narrow passage way so they can’t get out!
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we have two sticks.
+
+SAM: We should use them both!
+
+TALIESIN: If we run, then we’ll drop the sticks.
+
+MATT: Nott, where are you?
+
+SAM: I’m in the middle.
+
+MATT: I’ll put you in front of Caleb. Molly, are
+you next to Beau?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, anywhere that– I don’t want to be
+in the front front, but I’ll be in the middle.
+
+TRAVIS: Who are our two strongest? Jester?
+
+LIAM: Jester and Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I’m dexy.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you’ve got dex.
+
+MARISHA: But I’m not strong. But I’m dextrous. It
+depends on what we’re talking about. Are we doing
+
+anything with strength checks? Oh! Dragging people
+away? Is that what we’re talking about?
+
+SAM: Are the good guys unconscious?
+
+MATT: They’re conscious, they’re just tied up to
+each other.
+
+SAM: Oh. Shit, so two people need to be on drag
+duty.
+
+KHARY: We could cut them free?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to have to keep them busy.
+
+LAURA: You need to sneak in and you need to try to
+unhook the ropes, okay?
+
+SAM: I could try to untie them.
+
+LAURA: You stealth around. They won’t even know
+that you’re there while we’re attacking. Untie the
+
+guards and then we all run.
+
+KHARY: Could we distract them with maybe a
+Thaumaturgy or Spiritual Weapon?
+
+LAURA: Spiritual Weapon is really good if you have
+that, that’s very badass.
+
+MATT: You can certainly try, it’s up to you guys.
+
+KHARY: I think Spiritual Weapon could make a lot
+of noise and call a lot of attention, and then
+
+maybe you could sneak through.
+
+TALIESIN: You could do two Spiritual Weapons if
+you’re feeling it.
+
+LAURA: I know, but then I have no spells left. I
+got a first level, y'all!
+
+KHARY: I think, because I used Aid, I think I’ve
+got–
+
+MATT: You have one 2nd-level spell and you have
+three 1st-level, I believe.
+
+KHARY: Yes. No, I’ve got two 1st-levels, because I
+used Thunderwave and Command.
+
+MATT: That’s correct. You have two 1st-levels, you
+have three spells left.
+
+KHARY: Why don’t we use– okay, here’s the thing.
+If we start with Spiritual Weapon, we lure their
+
+gaze to this side of the area and then if this
+beautiful young lady could find her way around
+
+the other side to free the two–
+
+SAM: I can sneak in down to those stalagmites.
+
+KHARY: Yes.
+
+LAURA: She should sneak in before you do Spiritual
+Weapon, otherwise it’s going to make them aware
+
+that something’s going on. The Spiritual Weapon will
+definitely alert them to our presence.
+
+KHARY: The Spiritual Weapon goes off, giving the
+people a chance to run out of the place.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. You make that Spiritual Weapon appear
+right next to them. You can hit them immediately.
+
+KHARY: Right.
+
+LAURA: You do it right when we do the surprise
+attack. You sneak in.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: The rest of us can be on distraction
+duty, yeah? Until we go.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Nott?
+
+LAURA: Are you good to sneak? I’m going to bless
+you.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Before you go sneaking around the side.
+
+SAM: Can I have a ball bearing, please?
+
+MARISHA: Sure. You can have a few. I hand him a
+handful.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Did you just want that because it’s
+shiny?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, Nott.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I will cast Mage Hand and hold one ball
+bearing. I’m getting ready to move stealthily.
+
+MATT: If I can have all of you who are approaching
+to make a stealth check, please.
+
+LIAM: Also, DM–
+
+SAM: In addition to the one we just made?
+
+MATT: Sorry, the one you just made. Sorry, so what
+was were those scores?
+
+SAM: 23.
+
+MATT: 23.
+
+LAURA: You get advantage, when you go into the
+room, just in case of a natural 20.
+
+LIAM: I will also say, and I’ll do this a lot,
+Dancing Lights is in effect behind us. 20 feet
+
+behind us, waiting.
+
+MATT: All right. Interesting point of order, this
+human that you see, this priest. Pitch black, sees fine.
+
+LIAM: Sees– (groans) Okay.
+
+MATT: Does have a set of, as they’ve walked into
+this chamber– although you would have seen this.
+
+LIAM: I did not see that.
+
+MATT: Actually, yeah. You’re the only one who
+would notice something. You don’t see anything,
+
+never mind. All right, so–
+
+KHARY: Say that again.
+
+MATT: You didn’t notice anything in particular,
+other than just seeing this scene. Nothing at all.
+
+You know nothing! So stealth is 23.
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine.
+
+TRAVIS: 18.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LIAM: Did you know that you can’t see?
+
+KHARY: I’m blind.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, what’s your stealth roll?
+
+LIAM: Oh. It was really good. It was a 16 total.
+
+MATT: 16. What did you roll for stealth check?
+
+SAM: How do you see things?
+
+LIAM: The bird.
+
+KHARY: The bird, baby, the bird.
+
+LIAM: That’s hot.
+
+MATT: Shakäste, what’s your stealth check please?
+
+KHARY: My stealth check. Oh, my stealth check was
+19.
+
+MATT: 19, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m the only problem.
+
+MATT: Yeah, which is good because that means the
+rest of the group picked up for you.
+
+KHARY: That’s right, it’s 24.
+
+MATT: As you guys approach, those of you who can
+see in the dark, you can’t quite see your quarry.
+
+You’d have to get closer in because I believe it’s
+a 60 foot darkvision radius for most of you guys.
+
+Which means you can see to about there.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: We suck.
+
+SAM: I can see the stalagmites?
+
+KHARY: I believe Anastasia could fly in and hide
+behind the stalagmite.
+
+MATT: You can. Make a stealth check for your
+hummingbird.
+
+LIAM: Come on birdy. Ooh! Good.
+
+KHARY: All right, 15 plus– No, I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: It’s 15.
+
+KHARY: It’s 15 plus five.
+
+MATT: Natural one and a four on their perception.
+Nobody sees your bird’s arrival.
+
+LAURA: Come on, Nott, go.
+
+SAM: (scampering feet)
+
+MATT: All right Nott, so you rush in?
+
+SAM: Yeah. I’m going to– Mage Hand’s already
+cast.
+
+MATT: Yeah, and what’s the range on that one?
+
+SAM: 30 feet.
+
+MATT: 30 feet, so you can keep it out as far as
+that. Yeah, it’s fine. All right, so you come in
+
+there. Where are you holding the ball bearing?
+
+SAM: I’m going to drop the ball bearing right at
+the edge of that stair so it (tings).
+
+MATT: As that happens, you watch as both the
+priest and the large beast at this time– which
+
+now that we’re getting closer and we’re seeing the
+form, I probably should’ve asked this of you
+
+earlier: go ahead and make a general nature
+check.
+
+SAM: Who me?
+
+MATT: Both of you guys.
+
+LIAM: It’s alphabetical right on the list. Ooh.
+
+KHARY: 19.
+
+LIAM: Plus?
+
+KHARY: Nature? Plus one.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+KHARY: 20.
+
+MATT: You notice it, but you, after getting a
+closer view of its form as your hummingbird gets
+
+in close, you can, “I know what this is.” This is a
+manticore. The wings are scary, the teeth are
+
+scary, the spines on its tail are scarier.
+
+KHARY: It has spines in its tail.
+
+MATT: You’ve heard rumors of such things being
+flung as a weapon and regrown quickly and begin to
+
+suddenly remember the spines that were affixed to
+the armor of the gnoll leader and the glaive. You
+
+rush in and have this moment of remembrance as you
+begin to curl forward, stealthing around the side
+
+as the ball bearing (ting ting ting). Both the
+priest and the manticore whip over in that
+
+direction. The priest pulls a glove on its hand
+that’s a dull red color that begins to sparkle
+
+and glow at the tips of the fingers, and tightens
+it on its hand and begins to step down the stairs
+
+a bit in the direction of that.
+
+SAM: I’m going behind those stalagmites over
+there.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: No, like–
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: All the way around.
+
+MATT: Okay. Whereas the female manticore,
+(flapping). The wind picks up and dust begins
+
+to spiral and briefly obfuscates the area. The
+manticore flies; with an impact, lands on the
+
+opposite side, right where the ball bearing is and
+(sniffs). “Company.” All right, what are you guys doing?
+
+SAM: I’m going straight for the Mage Hand to untie
+them.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check from a
+distance. Well, this would be a straight dexterity
+
+check. Roll dexterity, not sleight of hand.
+
+SAM: Dexterity check.
+
+MATT: Add your dexterity modifier.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18. With a quick, rapid movement of your
+Mage Hand, you watch as the ropes on one come
+
+free. One of them (breathing heavily) looks at
+their hands and doesn’t know exactly what happened
+
+but is apparently now free of the ropes.
+
+LIAM: Are we in a weird in-between combat and
+non-combat?
+
+MATT: Yes. We’re not in combat yet, so what are
+you guys doing?
+
+LIAM: I would like to hug the wall and slide along
+it. I would like to think I can hear my
+
+friends breathing– and stop, yeah that’s good–
+and hold my action, and if anything comes this way that
+
+is not my friends to cast Burning Hands as a
+tripwire. I’m the tripwire.
+
+MATT: Within range you mean?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, of course within range.
+
+MATT: All righty, anybody else? What are you
+preparing for?
+
+LAURA: Got nothing.
+
+MARISHA: Waiting to beat face.
+
+MATT: You’re all staying right there?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, no.
+
+MARISHA: Should we creep forward a little? What
+should we do?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We’re going to have to fan.
+
+MARISHA: I guess Fjord and I will take a good ten
+feet or so up.
+
+LAURA: They might see you.
+
+SAM: Yeah, you’re going closer?
+
+LAURA: You’re getting really close to the
+manticore.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, maybe the other side of the tunnel so
+they don’t see you.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s got a distance weapon anyway,
+there’s really no such thing as a bad–
+
+LIAM: You can see me doing this.
+
+MARISHA: Will you put Fjord towards me?
+
+MATT: Oh, this way?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, pull him to the other side. They’re
+seeing me do arcane bullshit on the side while
+
+sweating.
+
+MATT: Anybody else preparing?
+
+LAURA: I’ll stand next to Caleb on the inside.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m really, at this point, only useful
+for a couple things. I’m going to keep in the back there.
+
+MATT: Okay. Shakäste, anything?
+
+TALIESIN: I got my Vicious Mockery rolling.
+
+KHARY: I would like for Anastasia to fly to the
+other side of the room.
+
+MATT: Whereabout?
+
+KHARY: No those stalagmites over– yeah, there you
+go. Hide in those crags over there by the– that’s
+
+it. Keep a good eye. Good girl.
+
+MATT: (humming drone) All righty. The manticore
+begins to clomp up the steps.
+
+TRAVIS: Airborne?
+
+MATT: No, on foot at the moment like (impact
+sounds).
+
+MARISHA: We’ll just wait for Nott. Go Nott go.
+
+KHARY: When do I go?
+
+MATT: Well, right now as the manticore crests the
+top of the stairs, the large, joker-like, toothy
+
+grin of the female manticore glances up right
+towards all of you and goes (growls).
+
+LIAM: I attack her.
+
+MATT: It’s not within range of you yet.
+
+LIAM: Not within range? Then I don’t do it yet.
+
+MATT: You’re holding it and it’s not close enough.
+I need you all to roll initiative now.
+
+LIAM: Wow. My initiative is such dick. All night
+long. All campaign long, let’s be honest.
+
+TALIESIN: I did okay.
+
+LIAM: Oh my gosh. At the end as always.
+
+MATT: We have 25 to 20 anybody?
+
+TALIESIN: 22.
+
+TRAVIS 20.
+
+MATT: Nice. We have Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we going to redo the initiative
+flags?
+
+MATT: And Fjord. 20 to 15?
+
+LAURA: 18.
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+MATT: Nice. Jester and Nott. You have Molly,
+Fjord, Jester, Nott, and the manticore. Then
+
+15 to ten?
+
+KHARY: Pass me Shakäste.
+
+MATT: Ten to five?
+
+LIAM: Acht.
+
+MATT: All righty. We have–
+
+LIAM: There’s people after my eight?
+
+MATT: Well, simultaneously with the priest.
+
+KHARY: I am a five.
+
+MATT: Five (groans).
+
+MARISHA: I’m a nine.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: It’s okay, I got you. At this point, top of
+the round: Molly, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I have no idea what the order was.
+
+TALIESIN: Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: It’s Molly, Fjord, Jester, Nott, the
+manticore, Beau, then Caleb and the priest
+
+together, then Shakäste.
+
+TALIESIN: Vicious Mockery on the manticore.
+
+MATT: All righty, 12.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t actually know what it’s rolling
+against. What is it against?
+
+MATT: It’s eight plus two, which is your
+proficiency bonus, which is ten. Plus your wisdom
+
+modifier. What is your wisdom modifier?
+
+TALIESIN: My wisdom modifier, I believe it’s
+three.
+
+MATT: It would be 13, so it hits, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: All right! That’s one point of psychic damage
+and it has disadvantage on the next attack.
+
+(rasping) You should leave and protect the child.
+Trying to–
+
+MATT: All right, the female face grins even wider,
+the eyes narrow (growls).
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to back up.
+
+MATT: It seems like it shakes its head a bit. It
+seems strangely wounded briefly, but then grins at
+
+the prospect of a new meal.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m backing up a little bit. I’m going
+to step back ten feet.
+
+MATT: You move back ten feet to there.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, backing up.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Fjord’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I move forward and end up right over
+there?
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah and end up on his flank melee,
+please.
+
+MATT: Put you right there.
+
+TRAVIS: I will unleash the full fury of my
+falchion into his side.
+
+MATT: With the blade drawn–
+
+TRAVIS: Two-handed.
+
+MATT: Right. Shakäste, as you watch, the half-orc,
+Fjord, suddenly emerges from his hand out of
+
+nowhere, this flash of greenish-blue energy and a
+splash of water spatters across the ground as a
+
+slightly curved at the tip falchion appears that
+has a cluster of barnacles along the base of it
+
+and slowly curling up the blade and sea water
+dripping off of it at all times leaving a trail of liquid.
+
+TRAVIS: 23.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah!
+
+MATT: This thing is pretty big, it’s not too hard
+to hit comparatively.
+
+TRAVIS: 13 points of damage. Slashing damage.
+
+LIAM: What did you roll to hit?
+
+TRAVIS: The ten, two-handed. That is it.
+
+MATT: All righty, that ends your turn. It’s now
+Jester’s turn.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to run around to the other side
+of it. This is so dumb.
+
+MATT: (counting) 30. Are you getting within melee
+of it?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+SAM: Oh my god, are you going to hit it with your
+sickle or whatever?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to hit it with my sickle or
+whatever!
+
+MATT: Roll for attack.
+
+MARISHA: Do it girl!
+
+LIAM: Those arrows are long gone.
+
+LAURA: Natural one!
+
+MATT: As you rush around the corner, out of the
+corner of its eye it sees you. As it spins its
+
+giant, spined tail which you can see now which
+looks like a porcupine filled with javelins.
+
+Rushes past and slams into your shoulder. As you
+do, your sickle flies out of your hand and
+
+clatters across the ground and hits the floor at
+the bottom of the stairs. That is where your
+
+sickle currently is.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: End of your turn, Jester?
+
+TALIESIN: Bonus action, anything?
+
+TRAVIS: Bonus action to run your ass.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to just dance in place.
+
+MATT: All righty. Nott, your turn.
+
+SAM: Bonus action, use the Mage Hand to untie the
+other one.
+
+MATT: All right, make another dexterity check.
+
+SAM: 19 plus four.
+
+MATT: With that the other person’s rope falls free
+and they’re both out of their ropes. They’re both
+
+looking at the only exit that is currently blocked
+by this giant manticore creature. They look
+
+scared and have no idea what’s happening. They
+haven’t seen you. For some reason their ropes have
+
+dropped and they’re scared shitless. They aren’t
+guards. These two look like civilians and they’re
+
+having a really rough time.
+
+SAM: (sighs) Should I waste my action on this
+shit? I’m still hidden, yeah?
+
+MATT: As far as you know.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s also another dude.
+
+SAM: Another dude? Oh, you mean the bad guy.
+
+MATT: There’s the priest.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Not another good guy.
+
+SAM: Ah fuck. I’m going to use Message and point
+to one of the guards that I just untied.
+
+MATT: They’re not guards, they’re civilians.
+
+SAM: Or whatever, the civilians and say to him:
+The second after the priest casts a spell, grab
+
+your friend and run.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: Okay, you deliver the message. That’s as far
+as you know.
+
+SAM: Then for my movement I’m going to tuck in
+even tighter.
+
+MATT: Okay. All right that finishes your turn. It
+is now the manticore’s go. It is going to make
+
+three attacks, a bite and two claw attacks. It’s
+going to make two claw attacks. Actually, it’s
+
+going to make one sweeping claw attack at Jester
+from behind and then a bite and a claw attack at
+
+you, since you’re right in front of it and already
+struck it with your falchion.
+
+TALIESIN: First one’s disadvantage.
+
+MATT: First one’s at disadvantage, which would be
+against Jester as you rush past. That is a 17,
+
+and a 19.
+
+LAURA: Hits me.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it hits you, that’s without bonuses,
+unfortunately. You take from the first strike nine
+
+points of slashing damage, as it (woosh). It
+rolled high, a nine again. Then two strikes
+
+against you.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Hellish Rebuke at it as
+soon as it does it.
+
+MATT: Okay, what’s the save? It was a natural 20
+on you Fjord, unfortunately. The other claw attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh player, I’ve got the Armor of Agathys
+on.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s right!
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t say on my thing. It’s a dex
+save.
+
+MATT: A dex save, all right. That is a 12.
+
+LAURA: Oh!
+
+MATT: So that hits? All right, go ahead and
+roll damage.
+
+LAURA: 3d10! I’m going to say in Infernal–
+
+SAM: 3d10?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to say–
+
+LIAM: All tens, come on.
+
+MATT: 2d10.
+
+LAURA: No, 3d10 because it’s cast at 2nd-level
+when you’re doing Hellish Rebuke.
+
+MATT: Oh, right, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay, 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage. Of cold damage.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, in Infernal I say, Oh, you’re such a
+cute kitty!
+
+MATT: With an awkward flick of her wrist, you
+watch as this wave of ice spike energy flies
+
+outward and pierces the side of the manticore’s
+body as it rotates and breaks the ice off of its
+
+torso. In doing so, it spins around with its other
+claw and strikes right into Fjord with a natural
+
+20. It rolled a one on the fucking damage die, so
+you’re fucking lucky on that, that’s twice in this
+
+game. It’s kind of disappointing on my end, but
+it’s fine. So that’s five points of slashing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: And he’ll take ten points of cold damage.
+
+MATT: That’s right.
+
+MARISHA: So. Sick.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re at our best when we’re losing.
+
+MATT: As it strikes with its second claw attack
+against you and the ice cracks, and it looks at
+
+you and the mouth opens wide and you can see where
+three separate rows of teeth like this horrible
+
+shark maw. As it reaches forward to bite towards
+you, the head itself about maybe this wide, the
+
+jaw can almost clamp down onto your waist,
+Jurassic Park style. That’s going to be a 16 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: 16 hits.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+LIAM: Where’s your AC?
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+LIAM: You’re Grog!
+
+TRAVIS: Nope.
+
+MATT: That’s ten points of piercing damage from
+the bite to you.
+
+TRAVIS: Great, he takes another ten points of cold
+damage, as my Armor of–
+
+MATT: She.
+
+TRAVIS: She, thank you. As my Armor of Agathys.
+
+MATT: Interesting, in this quick series of hits,
+she’s doing fine, but this is an unexpected burst
+
+of damage and you can see harrying’s starting to
+show. A powerful creature can do some powerful
+
+damage, but is showing a little bit of wear and
+tear. With that, the manticore is going to take to
+
+the sky.
+
+TALIESIN: (singing) Take to the sky!
+
+MATT: It’s going to fly up.
+
+LAURA: Do we get an attack of opportunity?
+
+MATT: You both do, yes.
+
+LAURA: Ah, I’m going to kick it.
+
+MATT: You can punch it, make an attack.
+
+LAURA: No, I don’t hit it!
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+LAURA: I rolled a three!
+
+TRAVIS: Do I get an attack?
+
+MATT: You do, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t think that’s going to hit either,
+that’s an eight.
+
+MATT: Nope, you both, (whoosh). The giant gust of
+wind from the wings flapping push you away and you
+
+have to block your vision to keep the dust out of
+the way. Finishing the manticore’s turn, it is now
+
+Beau’s go.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, well it took off flying, so that
+sucks.
+
+LIAM: You can’t even see it.
+
+MARISHA: I feel kind of like Grog. what can I do
+with that?
+
+TRAVIS: Welcome to my fucking three years.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s lame. I don’t know what to
+do. I’ll move forward and hold my action for light.
+
+MATT: How far are you going to move forward? 20
+feet?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, where’s the priest? But I can’t see
+the priest, it’s dark in here.
+
+MATT: You’re seeing faint flashes of light.
+Actually, you don’t see any light, because no
+
+one’s cast any spells, it’s all been combat, so
+it’s just darkness and you hear roars and slams
+
+and impacts. You’re like, (worried noise).
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to move behind Jester, and I’ll
+just dodge as my action, there’s not a lot I can do.
+
+MATT: Okay, that finishes your turn, Caleb and the
+priest are going simultaneously. What are you doing?
+
+LIAM: So this has happened like six times now,
+where I go right after Beau, so Dancing Lights,
+
+excuse me.
+
+MATT: Well first off, the spell you prepared,
+never went off, so the spell is gone, it’s used.
+
+LIAM: Of course.
+
+MATT: So the spell’s gone, so you lose one of
+those.
+
+LIAM: So instead, Dancing Light. I’m going to do
+the same line of light that I always do because
+
+Beauregard needs to be able to kill things and
+see. One goes far as here, and here, and here probably.
+
+MATT: You have enough to generally light most of
+the chamber.
+
+LIAM: It’s always a line spread out.
+
+MATT: Perfect. That’s your action?
+
+LIAM: No, I’m also going to back up about 15 feet
+as well. Then I’m going to crouch because I’m frightened.
+
+MATT: Okay. That comes to the priest’s turn. The
+priest is going to step forward angrily, and is
+
+going to attempt to cast Hold Person on you.
+
+SAM: Joke’s on him, that’s not a person. It’s a
+half-orc.
+
+MATT: Half-orcs are people too, Sam. Make a wisdom
+saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: Wisdom saving throw. Big modifier of
+nothing. Six.
+
+MATT: With that, you feel your muscles lock up,
+your entire body freezes in place as you feel your
+
+entire physical self lock up, unable to move.
+
+LIAM: He done been bifurcated.
+
+LAURA: He done been paralyzed.
+
+MATT: All right. The priest is going to go ahead
+and take two steps back after casting that, and
+
+hide behind–
+
+LAURA: (singing) Two steps forward–
+
+ALL: (singing) Two steps back.
+
+MATT: Caleb, that finishes your turn as well.
+Shakäste, you’re up.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see, we don’t need light anymore.
+
+LIAM: Save us.
+
+KHARY: I think we need a bigger mode of damage. I
+think rather than Spiritual Weapon, we need to go
+
+with the Thunderwave again.
+
+LAURA: Oh, the spell.
+
+LIAM: That’s a very short range, though.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s a 15-foot square.
+
+LIAM: You can’t get close enough to anybody on
+that map to use it.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the manticore is about 15 feet up in
+the air right now, so it’s just out of the range.
+
+KHARY: Ah, so I can’t get to it.
+
+LAURA: Spiritual Weapon stays on the field. Once
+you cast it, it’s out there in every single turn,
+
+for a bonus action you can attack.
+
+MATT: I will say, Spiritual Weapon, as far as I
+know– let me see here real fast. It’s pretty
+
+great.
+
+LIAM: Do you have a level one left?
+
+KHARY: I do have a level one.
+
+MATT: It says a floating spectral creature, it
+doesn’t specify if that it can or cannot move up
+
+and down, so I would imagine you could create it
+in the air if you want.
+
+LIAM: I think these are your best options: either
+a floating weapon that can go anywhere, or a big
+
+fog cloud, if you run up and put it on the priest,
+or up there. I think probably Spiritual Weapon.
+
+KHARY: I think Spiritual Weapon because the thing
+is, is that I can move it from one to the other.
+
+LIAM: You can adjust.
+
+KHARY: Spiritual Weapon.
+
+MATT: Do you move forward to cast it?
+
+KHARY: Yes, let’s see, I will stay in the
+hallway.
+
+MATT: How far, there?
+
+KHARY: Yeah, right about there.
+
+MATT: You’re creating it at the base of the
+manticore, or further in the chamber, or where?
+
+KHARY: Oh, I would love to drum the underside of
+her.
+
+MATT: Easily enough to do. What kind of weapon do
+you create?
+
+LIAM: Decide what it is. A lollipop, a salmon, a
+sword?
+
+LAURA: Don’t give– Let him decide.
+
+MATT: What magical, mystical weapon would you like
+to create that represents your attack on this
+
+creature?
+
+LIAM: Nunchucks.
+
+KHARY: I would–
+
+LIAM: Have fun.
+
+KHARY: (laughs) The first thing that I was
+thinking, for some reason, was I would like to
+
+materialize the awe-inspiring sass of Estelle
+Getty, and pummel the stomach–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh man.
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck.
+
+KHARY: That’s all right. That might be a little
+bit too out there, so–
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not.
+
+MATT: What do you want to do?
+
+LIAM: It could be a cudgel carved to look like
+Estelle Getty if you wanted it to be.
+
+KHARY: You know what? The sassiest of the Golden
+Girls– I think because my lovely daughter,
+
+literally– It was 120 days into the school year,
+and she dressed like a 120-year-old woman today,
+
+my six-year-old daughter. I think that the bust of
+a tiny curly-headed 120-year-old woman needs to
+
+slam its way into the torso of that manticore.
+
+LIAM: Like a Beethoven bust, but Estelle Getty!
+
+MATT: Estelle Getty begins to bludgeon itself into
+this creature. I love it.
+
+KHARY: Into that thing right there. That’s right.
+Mya, you should be in bed, but this is for you,
+
+baby.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll a melee spell attack. Roll
+that and add five to it.
+
+KHARY: 13. 18.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll the damage on that one. It
+is 1d8 plus three.
+
+LIAM: That’s the d8, yeah.
+
+MATT: Roll that and add three.
+
+KHARY: Ah! One.
+
+MATT: Still, four points of damage. Nothing to
+scoff at, and it’s still out there without concentration.
+
+LIAM: That’s true.
+
+MATT: Do you want to move anywhere, or you going
+to stay put?
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. I am going to remain where I
+am.
+
+MATT: Good to know. Finishing that, top of the
+round. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Again, there’s not much I can do– I’m
+going to step in front of Caleb, in an attempt to
+
+be another target, and I’m going to try again with
+Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LIAM: Thank you for being a friend.
+
+MATT: A two. It does not succeed.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. (rasping) You are going to be
+buried here! I hit him again. Four points of
+
+psychic damage.
+
+MATT: All right, four points of psychic damage,
+and first attack has disadvantage.
+
+TALIESIN: First attack has disadvantage. I’m going
+to be in front of Caleb.
+
+MATT: Cool, sounds good. That’s the end of your
+turn, Molly. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I’m up? I’m a Hold Person!
+
+MATT: Yep, so roll a wisdom saving throw to see if
+you can resist it.
+
+TRAVIS: Nope!
+
+MATT: Nope, you’re still locked in place.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck that die.
+
+LAURA: Can you do anything while you’re
+paralyzed?
+
+MATT: Nope. Nothing. That ends Fjord’s turn.
+Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to Sacred Flame the priest.
+
+MATT: Okay. Is it a wisdom saving throw?
+
+LAURA: Sacred Flame is a dexterity saving throw.
+
+MATT: Dexterity save. That is a ten.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: 12, sorry.
+
+LAURA: Doesn’t matter! Still hit! Six damage of
+radiant.
+
+MATT: Six damage of radiant. As it’s right
+behind– it’s trying to block around the pillar,
+
+but you still have a clear visual as you
+concentrate on the symbol of the Traveler hidden
+
+beneath your outfit. You focus and there’s a burst
+of energy that burns around its body–
+
+LAURA: Pink energy.
+
+MATT: Pink energy that sparkles around him as he
+looks over towards you and he continues to try and
+
+crouch behind the stalagmite.
+
+LAURA: Is Hold Person concentration?
+
+MATT: It is, so he has to make a concentration
+check. Which he fails? That’s an 11? No, it’s a
+
+ten. No, it succeeds. Just barely succeeds. The DC
+is ten. Sorry! He rolled a nine, but he has a plus
+
+one constitution. Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s ten.
+
+MATT: Yeah, he succeeded. He has to meet the DC or
+higher. But good try.
+
+TALIESIN: You still have movement, too.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I can move.
+
+MATT: Yes, you can.
+
+TALIESIN: You could go get your sickle.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, that’s right! I could run down and
+grab my sickle, why not?
+
+SAM: Wait, so the boys didn’t get up and run as
+soon as the priest made his move?
+
+MATT: No, not yet, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: They’re just lying there?
+
+MATT: Well, they’re coming around for their turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s right. They can’t just move.
+
+MARISHA: Save yourself!
+
+TALIESIN: This is why you don’t plan, Sam! This is
+why we don’t plan! Because plans go wrong.
+
+MATT: You have your sickle, you still have more
+movement if you wanted to move. You have ten more
+
+feet. Or 15 more feet.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to run up and engage the priest.
+
+MATT: All right. You’re right up in his face. That
+ends your turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: What to do?
+
+MATT: Gnollish priest. Regular gnoll, regular
+gnoll.
+
+SAM: I will run right past those two guards. As I
+go by, I say: Get the fuck out of here!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: They watch as a tiny goblin with jagged
+teeth yells at them as they run by. However, there
+
+are more scary things in the current vicinity. You
+rush past, and they’re two civilians, not guards,
+
+but continue.
+
+SAM: Oh, sorry. No, I’m going to keep calling them
+guards.
+
+MATT: I’m okay with that. They’re guards from your
+perspective. All right, so you run past.
+
+SAM: Bonus action dash up the steps.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you going to go for it?
+
+LAURA: Get the baby.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, are you going for it?
+
+SAM: I’m going to turn around and yell at the
+manticore–
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Oh no!
+
+MARISHA: Nott the Brave!
+
+SAM: You want to save this thing? I will slice
+down with my short sword on the baby.
+
+MATT: Make an attack roll.
+
+SAM: Ooh. I mean, 14?
+
+MATT: It hits it. It’s a baby. Roll damage.
+
+LIAM: Nott’s going to die!
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: It’s helpless, it’s sneak attack.
+
+MATT: It can’t do anything. It can’t defend
+itself. Its eyes aren’t open!
+
+SAM: It’s 16. 2d6. No sorry, 17 damage.
+
+MATT: As you plunge your short sword down into the
+mewling, eye-covered cub, it goes still, as the
+
+mother manticore flying up in the air turns around
+to watch this, and gives a (roar)!
+
+SAM: (screaming) Get the fuck out of here!
+
+ALL: Oh my god!
+
+TALIESIN: I take it back! Plan!
+
+MATT: Nott, that ends your turn? It’s the
+manticore’s turn. The manticore, which was about
+
+to unleash a triple round of attacks against a
+paralyzed Fjord, who, while paralyzed, would have
+
+all been criticals, strangely saved him and is
+instead going to dart–
+
+LAURA: Does the Spiritual Weapon get a–
+
+MATT: It does not, no. At a 50-foot fly speed,
+land right next to you, Nott, and take a full
+
+round of strikes against you. Too angry to worry
+about tail spines at this point, it’s going all
+
+in, physical assault to whatever just murdered its
+baby.
+
+TALIESIN: Disadvantage!
+
+MATT: Disadvantage on the first strike. 17 and a
+natural one.
+
+SAM: Miss!
+
+MATT: Which, I’ll say, causes it to strike down
+towards you in fury, and instead its claw gets
+
+jammed into the ground, so it gets disadvantage on
+its second attack. I’m trying to play with natural
+
+ones a little more in this campaign. This is the
+second claw attack against you. A natural 20 and a
+
+17. It hits but it avoids the critical, which is
+good.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: That is nine points of slashing damage with
+the claw.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you all right?
+
+SAM: So far.
+
+MATT: Then the bite attack is going to come
+towards you. I’m going to give this advantage
+
+because you just killed its baby.
+
+TRAVIS: Because you killed its baby!
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s going to be a 21.
+
+SAM: Sure, that hits.
+
+MATT: All righty. There we go, there’s the actual
+damage die roll. That’s 11 points of piercing damage.
+
+LAURA: (gasp)
+
+LIAM: Are you up?
+
+SAM: (whispers) One point.
+
+MATT: Oh shit!
+
+(laughter and gasping)
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Oh, fuck.
+
+MATT: That ends the manticore’s turn. The
+civilians get up–
+
+SAM: Yeah, leave, motherfuckers! Leave!
+
+MATT: And begin to run. (counting) They get that
+far with the movement and dash. They’re (gasping)
+
+tripping and falling, managing to make their way
+there. They’re both frightened, covered in all
+
+sorts of dirt and gore, and running in your
+direction, trying to get away from whatever’s
+
+happening back there. The roar set a further fire
+in them. All right. Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: (moans)
+
+SAM: She’s got to grab Fjord!
+
+LAURA: Grab Fjord and get out of here.
+
+LIAM: Fjord? Nott! Nott’s in danger!
+
+LAURA: I know, I’m going to cast– I’m going to
+cure you.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. How far away is Nott from me?
+
+MATT: Nott is 40 feet from you.
+
+TRAVIS: Or hit the fucking manticore. You got to
+unfreeze me, too.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to yell at Nott, I’m
+going to be like: Nott, the fuck?! Then I’m going
+
+to take off in a full sprint towards Nott.
+
+MATT: (counting) You can get right up to the top
+of the steps.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go: the fuck?! I grab you
+again, and I scoop up Nott, and like a football
+
+drill, I dart, and then I’m going to dart all the
+way back with Nott. Carrying Nott like a football.
+
+SAM: You’re going to get the hit. With me, too.
+
+MATT: Okay. You scoop up Nott. That means, because
+you’re carrying another creature, your movement is
+
+halved when you run. Are you using��� it’s your
+action to grab and pick him up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I want to use my Step of the Wind.
+Ki point.
+
+MATT: Ki point, Step of the Wind to run. That
+moves you and Nott 20 feet. You get Nott to there.
+
+The manticore is going to take an attack of
+opportunity against Nott.
+
+MARISHA: Ah, damn it! I was hoping it would be on
+me!
+
+MATT: Of course! The creature doesn’t give a shit
+about anybody but that little goblin that stabbed
+
+its baby.
+
+KHARY: You are like holding her and covering her,
+aren’t you?
+
+MATT: That is 19 to hit.
+
+SAM: Yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: A bite strike again, that is ten points of
+piercing damage.
+
+SAM: (scream)
+
+LAURA: Unconscious.
+
+MATT: As you pull Nott away, there’s a sudden tug,
+and you pull hard and you look back and you watch
+
+as you drag Nott out of the teeth of it, grinding
+across the body, dragging wounds like daggers
+
+across Nott’s face and chest. You see blood pour
+out of each of these scars.
+
+MARISHA: The fuck?! I still run.
+
+MATT: All right, so you are unconscious and
+bleeding out.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t have a bonus or anything, right?
+That was everything?
+
+MATT: Nope, that’s your whole turn. You used
+everything for that. End of Beau’s turn. Caleb and
+
+the priest are up.
+
+LIAM: I saw that, and I walk as far forward as I
+can with my movement and start stirring the pot on
+
+Chromatic Orb. I have one left. I will use ice
+damage and I will send it out and I knock it off
+
+my hand towards the manticore. Come on, please.
+
+SAM: The sticks! The dynamite sticks!
+
+LIAM: That’s a 25.
+
+MATT: 25 hits. Roll damage.
+
+LIAM: That is 3d8 cold damage. That is– ooh! 15
+total.
+
+MATT: 15 points of cold damage. Nice.
+
+LIAM: I would have gone as far forward as I can.
+
+MATT: You moved up there. It strikes the
+manticore, a burst of ice that freezes part of the
+
+side of the mane and the fur on its body before
+the fur cracks and the flesh that it impacted
+
+cracks. There’s a little bit of muscle exposed
+beneath the wound left behind from the frost
+
+freeze you left on the side of its torso.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is breathing very heavily and not
+looking at the manticore. He’s looking at Nott in
+
+Beauregard’s arms.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. The priest, who is
+currently working on that, going to maintain Hold
+
+Person, is going to step up. No, it’s going to–
+yeah, because you’re right there in front, it’s
+
+going to Inflict Wounds on you.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: Ooh!
+
+SAM: No problem.
+
+MATT: A melee spell attack. Not great. Actually,
+not bad! That’s a 17.
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+MATT: That is your armor class. 17 hits. You take
+3d10 points of necrotic damage.
+
+LIAM: Oh! Necrotic! Necrotic just follows Laura
+Bailey.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+SAM: It will be like a 12.
+
+MATT: That is 14 points of necrotic damage to
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+SAM: Or the exact amount.
+
+LAURA: Exact amount.
+
+MATT: Oh no!
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck fuck fuck.
+
+LIAM: Cleric’s down. One of our clerics is down.
+
+MATT: You watch as the priest reaches out and
+grabs onto the armor of Jester, and with a burst
+
+of black energy, the veins under Jester’s blue
+skin begin to pulse with black energy, and she
+
+screams out as her eyes loll back and close, and
+she hits the ground unconscious.
+
+MARISHA: She’s next to me, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Technically, there are three of us out,
+because I ain’t moving.
+
+MARISHA: I’m next to two unconscious people going
+(screaming).
+
+MATT: Yeah. That ends the priest’s turn. Your
+turn, Shakäste.
+
+LAURA: You have one of the healing potions.
+
+LIAM: It’s your call. I will help you with
+decisions you make. You can get to the front of
+
+those stairs.
+
+KHARY: Yeah, let’s see, I should move forward.
+
+MATT: You have 30 feet to move forward.
+
+TRAVIS: If you could put a beat down on the
+priest, do it.
+
+SAM: That will release the Hold Person.
+
+TRAVIS: I have a healing potion in my
+possessions.
+
+LIAM: Do you have any spells slots left?
+
+KHARY: I think I–
+
+SAM: He’s got the Spiritual Weapon.
+
+MATT: The Spiritual Weapon can only move 20 feet,
+though, which will only get it about there, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Damn.
+
+LAURA: No, Spiritual Weapon can move 30 feet.
+
+MATT: I thought it was 20 on a bonus action.
+
+LAURA: Oh, maybe I’m wrong.
+
+LIAM and KHARY: The range is 60 feet.
+
+MATT: Well, the range of the spell is 60 feet, but
+then the bonus action to move it is 20 feet and
+
+repeat the attack. Sorry, guys.
+
+LIAM: No, that’s great.
+
+MATT: You can move forward if you want to. Did you
+want to move forward the rest of your–?
+
+KHARY: Yeah, if I move is anything going to get
+close enough? I could do Sacred Flame.
+
+LIAM: That’s all you can do is try to take down
+the enemies, and we can help. That’s all you can do.
+
+KHARY: All I can do is move forward and Sacred
+Flame the priest.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s a wisdom save, right?
+
+KHARY: Yeah, that’s a wisdom save.
+
+MATT: That is going to be an 11. Which, your DC is
+13, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+KHARY: All right, going to roll damage. Come on.
+
+LAURA: Man, hit the fucking priest!
+
+KHARY: Three plus–
+
+MATT: That’s just three points of damage. Three
+points of radiant damage. It bursts and he’s still
+
+trying to concentrate on the spell. He does make a
+constitution saving throw. That’s an eight. That’s
+
+a failure. The DC is ten. With that, your
+paralysis ends.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, thank god!
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s either half the damage or ten,
+whichever is higher. With that, you blast it, and
+
+he loses the spell, and all of a sudden your body
+comes back into control of you, Fjord. You have
+
+the bonus action. You can still move the weapon if
+you want to.
+
+LIAM: I’d get it into the business.
+
+KHARY: Oh, absolutely.
+
+MATT: It was up ten feet, technically. It can move
+down and then move over here, and it would be down
+
+on the ground right there.
+
+LIAM: It’s on its way for the next round.
+
+KHARY: Sure. Okay.
+
+MATT: If you wanted. You could move it anywhere
+else you want to.
+
+TRAVIS: Who do I pour that potion into, you or
+you?
+
+SAM: The healer.
+
+KHARY: Stay right there, Estelle. She doesn’t move
+quickly, but she moves effectively.
+
+MATT: The bust (humming) and rests floating in the
+air. That brings us to the top; Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck, there is so little I can do. I’m
+going to move forward a bit, I’m going to move
+
+close enough that I can– I’m just going to keep
+trying to– Put me next to Caleb.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+TALIESIN: Shite. I’m just going to keep trying to
+give disadvantage to the first attack on the
+
+manticore.
+
+MATT: What’s the range on Vicious Mockery?
+
+TALIESIN: 60 feet.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can do that here. Wisdom save for
+the manticore. 19.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it saves.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Not even In
+infernal. Fuck fuck fuck.
+
+MATT: (laughing) Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: What is it, an action or a bonus action to
+pour a health potion into somebody’s mouth?
+
+MATT: It’s an action.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll run down and pour a health potion
+into Jester’s mouth.
+
+LAURA: That’s good, because that gets me up and I
+can heal you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, in time for your turn.
+
+MATT: You reach down, pull out the healing potion.
+It’s a regular healing potion, right?
+
+TRAVIS: It was a regular.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so that would be 2d4 plus two you
+heal.
+
+SAM: You roll? You roll? Who rolls?
+
+TALIESIN: Doesn’t matter.
+
+LAURA: Six plus two. Eight!
+
+MATT: So you heal eight.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use the rest of my movement to start
+running up the stairs?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know how much I have left.
+
+MATT: From there it was (counting) six, that’s as
+far as you get.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, fair enough. Okay.
+
+MATT: As you move out of range, the priest is
+going to make a strike at you with his dagger.
+
+TRAVIS: Was I in melee of the priest?
+
+MATT: Yeah, to get to her you would have.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll stay in there, then. I couldn’t see
+where I was. Yeah, I’ll stay close.
+
+MATT: Yeah, because you would have moved– Oh,
+god.
+
+SAM: Oh god, everyone’s dead.
+
+LAURA: It’s all going to shit!
+
+MATT: That’s okay. You stay there. That end’s
+Fjord’s turn, Jester, you’re up. You are on the
+
+ground, prone, but are now conscious and
+breathing, as you feel the glass vial pulled away
+
+from your lips, and Fjord looks down at you with a
+nod, like “Go!”
+
+LAURA: Thank you! I stand up. I’ll reach out and
+cast Cure Wounds on Nott.
+
+SAM: (gasping)
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll that. That’s a d8 plus
+your wisdom modifier?
+
+LAURA: Yes, it is. Sorry.
+
+SAM: I just say to Beau: The fuck?!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Eight points to heal.
+
+MATT: So you heal eight points.
+
+TRAVIS: The fuck.
+
+LAURA: Then I guess we should start running, yes?
+I use the remainder of my–
+
+MATT: Movement to run? You can move 15 feet.
+
+LAURA: Can I use my bonus action to dash?
+
+MATT: You do not have that ability, unfortunately.
+That’s a rogue and monk ability to use a point.
+
+Clerics do not get that. Sorry. Let’s put you
+there.
+
+LAURA: My bonus action to whimper a little bit.
+
+MATT: Okay. The priest does get attack of
+opportunity on you as you run past, as you were
+
+engaged in melee.
+
+LAURA: I’m hoping the priest is lame.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, a weakling.
+
+MATT: Well, he rolled a three. The dagger hits
+your armor and scrapes off the metal. No effect.
+
+That ends your turn, Jester. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Oh, this is crazy.
+
+MATT: You’re prone, technically, in Beau’s arms
+right now.
+
+SAM: Sure. I will look up at the manticore, I’ll
+take out my last shitty tart that you gave me, and
+
+crumple it onto the ground, and point up to the
+manticore and say: What did the incontinent druid
+
+say on his surprise birthday party? I’m so
+excited, I wet my plants!
+
+(groaning)
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+TALIESIN: Never mind, leave him behind.
+
+KHARY: How much damage did that give?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, to all of us? TPK up in this
+business.
+
+MATT: This is, I assume Hideous Laughter?
+
+SAM: Yes, Hideous Laughter.
+
+MATT: All right, we’ll see if this works. Wisdom
+saving throw. That is a 12. What is your DC?
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: There’s been a lot of just under this game.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, god.
+
+KHARY: The dad joke works!
+
+MATT: Weirdly, as angry as this manticore is at
+you– You know what? I’m going to give it
+
+advantage in the saving throw because you killed
+its baby.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s just mean!
+
+MATT: You killed its baby.
+
+MARISHA: Hindsight advantage.
+
+MATT: I’m allowing it, because I’m the fucking DM.
+It doesn’t help, I rolled a two. Shit. I felt it
+
+was fair for the mother of the baby that you just
+murdered.
+
+SAM: You would have given it to us.
+
+MATT: I would have, and from a narrative
+standpoint it made sense. Still takes effect. The
+
+manticore, turning around, eyes filled with fury
+and anger, goes (growling). She all of a sudden
+
+begins to chuckle. As the mouth opens from the
+laughter, you see the jagged teeth, filled with
+
+your own blood, and the tongue lashing around from
+the laughter as it falls on the ground, prone and cackling.
+
+TRAVIS: Is goblin blood red or green? Red?
+
+SAM: I think it’s like a black. I don’t know.
+Matt, what is it?
+
+MATT: It’s dark enough where, in this lighting, it
+looks black.
+
+LAURA: Hideous Laughter. Does that mean we all get
+advantage on hits now?
+
+MATT: It is prone, which means melee attacks do
+get advantage against it.
+
+SAM: Or we could leave.
+
+TALIESIN: Run!
+
+LAURA: But you guys! We’ve got a whole other
+round!
+
+SAM: Of what?
+
+LAURA and LIAM: Attacks to wail on her.
+
+SAM: Or to leave.
+
+MATT: It’s up to you. The manticore’s pretty hurt.
+The priest has taken a little damage, but the
+
+priest also doesn’t look very hardy. But it’s up
+to you. You can flee or you can finish it. There
+
+are advantages and disadvantages. There are
+advantages to both.
+
+MATT and MARISHA: There are advantages to both!
+
+KHARY: Are there ears on all of that crap that
+this priest has on him? Are there any ears on him?
+
+MATT: No ears. There is actually on the head. The
+gnoll head has ears.
+
+KHARY: They have ears on that thing. And if we
+drag that fucking carcass back to the surface, I
+
+bet that’ll–
+
+TRAVIS: Be worth a pretty penny?
+
+MATT: You’re probably not wrong.
+
+KHARY: You know what? Forget that. I want that
+fucking thing on my wall.
+
+MATT: All righty. Well, that’s up to you guys to
+make your choices.
+
+TALIESIN: How long does Hideous Laughter last?
+
+LAURA: For at least a whole round.
+
+MATT: Each time it takes damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, we could unload and then run!
+
+LAURA: And each time he takes damage?
+
+MATT: It gets to make a save again.
+
+SAM: On the end of his turn, he gets to make a
+save.
+
+MARISHA: If you hit him, he gets to make a save?
+
+MATT: Yeah. And on the end of its turn it gets to
+save.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not like a tee off and then we go.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I thought it was like a paralyzation
+sort of thing.
+
+SAM: So he might save right now.
+
+MARISHA: We should go.
+
+TRAVIS: We should stick to the plan.
+
+MATT: Well, regardless–
+
+LIAM: What about the dynamite?
+
+KHARY: That’s what I’m saying! I want to stick one
+in its mouth!
+
+MATT: That’s up to you.
+
+SAM: You might not get that chance! It’s the
+manticore’s turn, and she might save right now!
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s true. Because it is the
+manticore– you still have movement, if you want to.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want me to put you down?
+
+MATT: You have 15 feet of movement if you want
+Beau to put you down.
+
+SAM: Yeah. I will jump down and run.
+
+MATT: Ten, 15.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you also take your bonus action to
+run too?
+
+SAM: Sure, if I still have a bonus action.
+
+MATT: You do, yeah.
+
+SAM: Bonus action dash. Well, you know what? I’m
+going to stay within 30 feet of the priest.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know. All righty. Finishing
+Nott’s turn, the manticore’s turn. The manticore’s
+
+chuckling, laughing on the ground, howling. It’s
+echoing throughout the chamber in this very
+
+dark–
+
+SAM: 35 feet of the priest.
+
+MATT: I’ll put you about, roughly, we’ll say
+there. The manticore’s going to attempt to make
+
+its wisdom saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: No! Fail!
+
+MATT: That is a 12, again! I rolled two elevens in
+a row!
+
+LAURA: Laugh it up, Fuzzball!
+
+MATT: The civilians continue to run and they are
+just up the tunnel. You hear their heavy breathing
+
+fade as they disappear into the darkness. Beau,
+you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: What do we do? Are we running or are we
+fighting?
+
+TRAVIS: Whatever you want to do.
+
+MATT: Beau, it’s your choice. What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to, because I can, fuck
+the priest.
+
+MATT: Okay. You move in to the priest. Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Big ol’ two-handed staff swing.
+That’s not bad. 16!
+
+MATT: 16 hits! He’s only wearing leather armor.
+
+MARISHA: Nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage. Whack! Right across
+the face. You knock part of the gnoll head off.
+
+It’s off-kilter to the side and he spits blood and
+looks back at you, “Do not worry. He will come for
+
+you too.”
+
+MARISHA: Ugh! Okay, in response to that, I’m going
+to be like: Don’t patronize me! Then I’m going to
+
+fucking Flurry of Blows. Elbow strike him to an
+uppercut.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: First attack. Yeah, that hits, with a
+12?
+
+MATT: That hits!
+
+MARISHA: Natural 12. And then, not so good. 12
+again. Total.
+
+MATT: 12 does not hit, unfortunately. But the next
+one does.
+
+MARISHA: Six plus four. Another ten points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage, nice. With the staff
+hit, he laughs at you, the blood spilling out on
+
+the side of his chin. You smack him with the
+elbow, miss with the upper cut, but as the elbow
+
+cracks and hits you feel like the jaw kind of
+dislodge a bit. As he looks back, he reaches up
+
+and he’s trying to put it back into place. He’s
+looking not too great.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, I messed up that. Three plus
+four. I messed up.
+
+MATT: You said ten? Yeah, you shouldn’t have
+done– actually, it would’ve been seven.
+
+MARISHA: Seven damage. I’m sorry. I was adding the
+wrong modifier. I was looking at the wrong guy.
+
+MATT: It’s all good. No worries, so seven damage
+on that one? That ends your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yes! No! I can still move? Right?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to now move past Fjord and
+start heading away.
+
+MATT: Okay. It already got an attack of
+opportunity against–. So you move up (counting) 40.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll stay– that’s good.
+
+MATT: All right. Caleb and the priest. Your turn
+simultaneously.
+
+LIAM: Ja, I cannot see too well, so I’m going to
+take a step forward between Mollymauk and Nott.
+
+Just a little bit there. Now I can see that blond
+hair, and I am tapped out, so I’m just going to
+
+let my hand blacken and say a few arcane words and
+then send a–
+
+MATT: He does have three-quarters cover behind
+that from your current position.
+
+LIAM: Well then I will, if I can’t see too well,
+keep going down the steps until I can see him.
+
+MATT: You can move there to get a view without
+hitting–
+
+LIAM: That’s fine. That’s not fine, but that’s
+fine. Fire Bolt and here it comes to you,
+
+shithead. That is a 25 to hit.
+
+ALL: It hits!
+
+LIAM: But I could roll a one. I rolled a ten.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+LIAM: I’m going to extend my hand forward. I have
+five fingers out and then I pull in four. I send
+
+the flame down my hand because these people have
+hurt my little friend. I want his hair to burn off
+
+his head and die.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you release the bolt, the anger in
+your eyes, the fury coursing through the veins in
+
+your hand. The Fire Bolt slams into the priest’s
+head, and he falls back on the ground, screaming.
+
+As you watch, Ghost Rider-style, his head just
+bursts into flame and burn away, until he falls
+
+back to his knees. You can just see the darkened
+expression of a black skull into the fire as he
+
+falls. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+LAURA: What?! What’s this mean?!
+
+LIAM: That’s a seven.
+
+MATT: A wave of memories come flooding to you, and
+you feel your motions grow slow.
+
+LIAM: I was going to do this on my own.
+
+MATT: You guys watch as Caleb stares at this, and
+continues to stare at the guy burning in flames.
+
+That ends your turn!
+
+SAM and LAURA: What?
+
+MATT: Shakäste, it’s your turn.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: (whispering) Backstory.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Shakäste, your turn.
+
+KHARY: Yes. Well, I do believe I still have a
+Spiritual Weapon.
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+LAURA: That’s right!
+
+KHARY: The Spiritual Weapon goes wandering over,
+just as sassy as she wants to be. I do believe
+
+that the underbelly of the manticore is still
+waiting there for Estelle to tell him all kinds of
+
+horrible things about what it’s like to live in
+South Florida.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s particularly awful.
+
+KHARY: Absolutely. First of all, exactly. You know
+what? There’s way too much gambling at the track.
+
+Everybody’s constantly upset about the humidity.
+This is what your problem is. Maybe next time,
+
+you’ll eat something less human-like, baby. What
+do I need to roll?
+
+MATT: Roll a d20 plus five, with advantage because
+it is prone. So roll a d20 twice and take the
+
+higher of the two.
+
+KHARY: Roll the 20 twice?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+KHARY: Nine. Three.
+
+LAURA: Nine plus five?
+
+MATT: Nine plus five is 14. That is just its armor
+class. That hits. It has an armor class of 14. So
+
+roll damage on that. d8 plus three.
+
+KHARY: d8 plus three. That’s this one. All right,
+four. Four plus three is seven!
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage! As the bust slams
+into the manticore after your musings pierced its
+
+soul, it’s going to attempt to make a saving
+throw, with advantage.
+
+LAURA: With advantage? Why with advantage?
+
+MATT: It’s a two. Because whenever it takes an
+impact from an attack, it gets an advantage on the
+
+saving throw to break it. A two and a five,
+however!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Aw, baby.
+
+MATT: It’s okay, it happens. It’s good, it’s
+cinematic. It’s fun. That’s your bonus action. You
+
+still have an action.
+
+KHARY: I still have an action?
+
+MATT: Yes you do.
+
+KHARY: Well then. Let’s see. Where am I?
+
+LIAM: Did you use all your slots?
+
+LAURA: You got healing in there?
+
+SAM: Was that a bonus action to use the weapon?
+
+MATT: Yeah. So you still have an action if you
+want to cast another spell or do something else as
+
+an action.
+
+KHARY: Let’s see. How is everybody feeling right
+now?
+
+TALIESIN: Not too good.
+
+KHARY: Not too good?
+
+MATT: The priest is already dead. The manticore’s
+pretty hurt. Some of them are pretty beat up and
+
+low. Some of them seem to have avoided the fray.
+
+KHARY: Yeah. Am I close enough to the point where
+I– I’m still pretty far from the manticore,
+
+aren’t I?
+
+MATT: You’re about 60 feet from it.
+
+KHARY: I’m about 60 feet, but I would need to be
+at about a 15-foot cube to do my Thunderwave.
+
+MATT: Thunderwave, yeah.
+
+LAURA: You could do a cantrip as an action.
+Because you got enough distance.
+
+KHARY: Yeah, I think the cantrip will– let’s hit
+him again with Sacred Flame.
+
+MATT: Sacred Flame? All right. That will be an
+eight plus one for the wisdom modifier. That does
+
+not succeed! So roll, that’s d8 radiant damage.
+
+SAM: So that worked?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. 1d8 radiant.
+
+SAM: Oh, so you roll!
+
+KHARY: Oh, so I do roll!
+
+MATT: You did damage, yeah.
+
+KHARY: I did damage. Oh, you did wrong, so I did
+right!
+
+MATT: Exactly! That’s how spells work a lot of the
+time, man.
+
+KHARY: Big money. Come on, baby. That’s a six.
+
+MATT: A six? As is tradition, it seems, for our
+guests, how do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: That’s ridiculous, by the way! That’s fucked
+up! I’m counting and I’m like, if he gets the kill
+
+this is going to– this is ridiculous.
+
+LIAM: That’s hospitality.
+
+MATT: That’s hospitality. Jesus Christ!
+
+MARISHA: Put. That. Shit. On. Your. Wall. Describe
+it!
+
+MATT: So how do you want to do this? As it’s on
+the ground, laughing and cackling and writhing.
+
+KHARY: I drop the reed that’s in my hand, and I
+start to play with the flames that start to light
+
+on the edges of my fingers. As I slowly bring them
+together, there’s a musical interlude that starts
+
+to play and shoots towards the manticore. Diving
+down her throat, and bursting through the chest of
+
+her, and exploding her heart. You know what? I did
+that out of love. For someone who just lost their child.
+
+MATT: There you go. As Shakäste smiles, the
+merciful grin of a person who knows that the loss
+
+of a child is hard, you release this torrent of
+sound energy into the cackling mouth of the female
+
+manticore. As the writhing stops, and she begins
+to stand up, looking down, looks back at the
+
+corpse of the child now laid still. Looks back at
+you with a look of pity and acceptance before
+
+(explosion). There is a burst of gore out of the
+chest, and the creature just falls to the ground,
+
+motionless. The wings flopping onto the ground,
+still. And silence takes the chamber.
+
+(silence)
+
+TRAVIS: Well, time to light the TNT, let’s go.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to douse the flames. I’m going
+to run down to the priest and douse the flames,
+
+and then give Caleb a good slap on the face.
+
+MATT: Okay. Caleb comes to.
+
+LIAM: (slapping)
+
+TALIESIN: Hey! Back in the game! Time for that
+later. You all right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Big kiss on the forehead and
+then walking away.
+
+MARISHA and KHARY: I’m–
+
+KHARY: No, please.
+
+MARISHA: I was just going to say, I’m going to do
+a quick scan. See if there’s anything of interest.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Copy. Natural 19. 22.
+
+MATT: Amongst the chunks of flesh and rather
+horrible attire, there’s a couple of interesting
+
+adornments on the priest. The nest looks like it’s
+a mishmash of all kinds of things cobbled
+
+together.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll definitely take the adornments from
+the priest.
+
+MATT: Okay. From that, there was a set of goggles
+that were affixed over the priest’s eyes, of a
+
+dark lens.
+
+MARISHA: Can I see? If I can see in the dark. I
+need night vision goggles!
+
+LIAM: You do.
+
+MATT: There is also that reddish glove that was
+affixed to his right hand.
+
+LAURA: Don’t touch it! I wonder if that makes
+spells better. (gasps)
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll run up onto the nest and start
+looking for stuff.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check for me, please.
+
+TALIESIN: You all right there? You all right?
+
+SAM: Never better!
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Yay! Find all the shit!
+
+MATT: No shit! What’s the total there for that?
+
+TRAVIS: 24.
+
+MATT: All right. As you tear through the rubble of
+this nest, you find a few interesting things: a
+
+skeletal hand that has been mostly chewed through,
+though a single fleshy finger still holds a ring
+
+of beautiful silver make and a blue gem that
+catches your attention. What at first looks like
+
+part of the wooden riff-raff that makes the nest,
+you pull out a refined and well-carved stick that
+
+doesn’t match the rest of the rather rough wood.
+
+TALIESIN: I know I’m so excited, our first loot.
+
+LAURA: This is so exciting!
+
+MATT: Also, tangled within the mass, you find
+chains but larger than normal chains. These chains
+
+are attached to a set of unlocked manacles, much
+larger than any human manacles you’ve seen. There
+
+are four identical loops, a little over one foot
+in diameter, all attached via this chain to one
+
+larger one about four feet in diameter.
+
+SAM: That’s huge.
+
+MARISHA: Was it for the manticore?
+
+MATT: It looks like it would have been the size
+for a manticore. Since you rolled so high in
+
+investigation, you also notice that these
+manacles, which are open, have a single rune
+
+pressed into where they meet and lock in place, as
+there is no other visible locking mechanism. You
+
+are unable to really, at the moment, ascertain the
+nature of it. These manacles are fresh, they’re
+
+clean compared to all the other stuff in here.
+They are there.
+
+MARISHA: Are the runes recognizable in any way?
+
+MATT: Make an arcana– are you proficient in
+arcana?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll make an arcana check.
+
+MATT: Are you proficient in arcana?
+
+TRAVIS: I have a pretty high bonus, I don’t think
+I’m proficient in it.
+
+LIAM: I would like to sit on my ass and look at
+the ground.
+
+TRAVIS: I am proficient in it.
+
+MATT: Make an arcana check, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven.
+
+MATT: You’re unable to really ascertain the nature
+of the runes, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to walk up and pet the
+manticore’s mantle.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Aw, fuck that thing.
+
+KHARY: I’d like to cast a spell.
+
+MATT: What would you like to cast?
+
+KHARY: Fog Cloud.
+
+MATT: Okay. You watch as the central portion of
+the chamber begins to fill with a thick mist,
+
+somewhat obscuring your vision more than a few
+feet in front of you.
+
+LAURA: What was that?
+
+TALIESIN: Is this supposed to happen?
+
+SAM: What’s going on?
+
+LAURA: We should get out of here.
+
+KHARY: I step behind Nott and whisper in her ear,
+I say that: This was a bold move you made and we
+
+wouldn’t have made it, we wouldn’t have succeeded
+without you, so I say you earned that gold. But
+
+make no mistake, be careful where you put your
+fingers.
+
+SAM: Yes, fog monster.
+
+MATT: All right. What else would you like to do?
+
+LAURA: Should we get out of here, I guess.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Anything else in the chamber? Does it look
+like there’s any other little, interesting things
+
+in there?
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah?
+
+MATT: Honestly, it looks like everything was
+clustered in the nest or on the priest.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to help me butcher that manticore
+head?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s do this.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Easily enough. Within but a few moments,
+between the triple-blades that the two of you
+
+wield, you manage to carve a fresh and carryable
+by two of you– this is now the second beast head
+
+you guys have acquired, carrying along with you–
+a female manticore head.
+
+SAM: We’re not going to take those giant manacles
+are we?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+KHARY: I’ll take the tail.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah we’ll be taking all of that.
+
+SAM: It’s huge, can we carry that?
+
+MATT: All the manacles together probably weigh
+about 25 pounds, so it’s carryable.
+
+TRAVIS: Just over the shoulder, just walk out.
+
+MATT: You couldn’t carry it.
+
+SAM: I can’t carry it, that’s how much I weigh.
+
+TRAVIS: Even I couldn’t carry that.
+
+TALIESIN: Caleb, come on.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, you all right?
+
+TALIESIN: Later.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s time for that later.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Come on. Let’s go get some sunlight.
+
+MARISHA: I grab Caleb, wrap an arm around him, and
+try to walk him out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to grab the other side, we’re
+going to– yep.
+
+TALIESIN: You did good.
+
+LAURA: Well I’m still here with this big, giant
+manticore head so– you guys got Caleb?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m helping out.
+
+KHARY: You’re going through a change, my friend,
+and that’s not a bad thing.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. You guys manage to exit the
+mines, it seems that the remainder of the gnoll
+
+warband have either scattered or collapsed beneath
+the earlier tunnel falling.
+
+KHARY: Gnoll cowards.
+
+MARISHA: Cowardly gnolls, cowardly gnolls.
+
+LIAM: You just cured me.
+
+MATT: You bring yourself back to the surface. The
+light of the day is growing closer to sunset,
+
+another hour, hour and a half or so before the sun
+sets, but you return to the shack, which has been
+
+untouched, unsullied since your leaving. The
+remainder of the survivors greet you upon you
+
+letting them know you’ve returned, and you watch
+two more reunions occur as the two individuals you
+
+had saved from the belly of the manticore find the
+rest of their family within the survivors. You
+
+gather the rest of the bodies, and whoever needs
+the travel, and begin to load up the cart you
+
+brought with you, as well as the manticore head,
+unless you want to carry that back to town yourself.
+
+LAURA: I think it might be easier to put it on the
+cart.
+
+MATT: You can rope it onto the cart without much
+of an issue, though you still have a single horse
+
+pulling a lot of people and a lot of manticore
+head. That horse is not going to be traveling at
+
+maximum speed, it’s going to be a slow pace on that
+thing.
+
+LAURA: I mean, if it’s all slow then it doesn’t
+matter I can walk alongside it and pull the
+
+manticore head.
+
+MATT: Eventually after night falls, you can make
+camp or you continue to make your way to Alfield.
+
+It’s only a few miles off and you’ll probably get
+there maybe an hour or two after sunset.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+LAURA: We should probably just get there.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s make it all the way back.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys make your way under
+the outskirts of town, back through the forest
+
+that cradles the northeast side of the city, a
+handful of crownsguard that are keeping watch for
+
+any sort of incursion watch you approach and
+immediately one of them puts up a hand, “Halt. Who
+
+"goes there?”
+
+TALIESIN: All hail, the conquering heroes!
+
+LAURA: The saviors of Alfield have returned!
+
+TALIESIN: Huzzah!
+
+MATT: “Right the, um, yes– come this way,” he
+seems to not be able to deal with the fact that
+
+you’ve arrived with all of these survivors, and
+the head of a manticore being pulled by this poor horse.
+
+SAM: It’s two horses.
+
+TRAVIS: There are two horses.
+
+SAM: W.C and Crapper.
+
+MATT: Making your way into the town. Since you’ve
+seen it last, a number of buildings still lay
+
+in cinders, ash, and burned structures, but the
+people are in the process of cleaning and
+
+rebuilding their lives from the night before where
+this first attack initially happened. Within a
+
+short time, the crownsguard seemed to have brought
+Bryce back for you. Bryce, which you have not met
+
+yet, is currently the Watchmaster of the town. You
+see a genderfluid half-elf with blonde
+
+shoulder-length hair and armor. They seem to be
+recovering from the wound they sustained the night
+
+before and as you approach they immediately come
+up to you with a bit of a jog and say, “My gods,
+
+"you’ve certainly come through on my– what is
+that?”
+
+LAURA: It’s a manticore head.
+
+TALIESIN: There was a lot.
+
+MATT: “Apparently.” They scratch their head, and
+shake their head in wonderment, “Well, you’ve–
+
+(laughs) "Thank you. What do we call you?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: Oh fuck.
+
+SAM: We’ll get back to you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: We’re still a–
+
+TALIESIN: This is all very new.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re the TBDs.
+
+MATT: “Very well.” The woman by the way, who you
+had helped earlier, she comes forward with two of
+
+the members, and they come forward to the
+Watchmaster and they say, “Bryce, Watchmaster, all
+
+"of these people came and helped my baby. And–”
+and turns and looks at you and is looking about to
+
+introduce you, if you have a moment you wish to
+halt or intercede.
+
+KHARY: I stop. I hold my hand up. I put my finger
+over my lips. Shh.
+
+MATT: “Anyway, thank you all.” Other folks are
+starting to come out of their respective homes now
+
+to see this spectacle. Children are gawking and
+you hear gasps at the sight of the horrible beast
+
+head, the tongue lolling out and dragging across
+the ground.
+
+Other people are gathering and having
+reunions, other people are beginning to identify
+
+the dead that have been brought in the cart and
+while there is sadness and crying, there is also
+
+closure. There are even some still that are
+disappointed to not see those they had hoped to
+
+see amongst those who had been recovered. Given
+that still, a hero’s night is to be prepared and
+
+people begin to prepare food. For a brief moment
+past the darkness, you can hear music begin to
+
+build as people begin to bring chairs and
+tables out to the center of the town square, the
+
+intersection of where Alfield’s simple backwoods
+lifestyle seems to still understand what
+
+celebration is in the face of victory. As what
+better case is there to be but to celebrate those
+
+who stood up to such evils? As you all think over
+what you’ve done, this ragtag group of wandering
+
+know-nothings that have managed to come together
+and do a good thing. For some coin, maybe, but a
+
+good thing nonetheless.
+
+LAURA: I pull out the jar of ears.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Before I hand them over, I open the lid and
+I whisper in: Thadeus Candleglow says hello. I
+
+shut it. I think I did what he asked.
+
+SAM: He said to do that. He said to say that to
+the people.
+
+LAURA: They heard it.
+
+LIAM: Also, Caleb has been very distant for the
+last couple of hours, but absentmindedly scoops up
+
+Nott��s hand. Doesn’t look at Nott, but holds
+Nott’s hand.
+
+SAM: I stealthily take my bag of coin and slide it
+into his back pocket, and I pat it and say: I got
+
+you some book money.
+
+KHARY: Shakäste is standing at a distance.
+Everyone else is walking towards the village. The
+
+Duchess is perched on his shoulder, and he
+scrawling something in the dirt with that long
+
+reed. It’s kind of an “H.” And he fades into the
+forest.
+
+MARISHA: We don’t get to say goodbye.
+
+LAURA: He’s the coolest
+
+MARISHA: He’s so cool.
+
+MATT: On that note, we’re going to end tonight’s
+game.
+
+(groaning)
+
+LIAM: Khary!
+
+MATT: Khary! That was amazing, man!
+
+MARISHA: Have you ever played before?
+
+KHARY: With my kids.
+
+LAURA: You’re so epic.
+
+MARISHA: You’re so good.
+
+MATT: Dude. Thank you, finally. We’ve been wanting
+to have you on for so long, but schedules haven’t
+
+lined up. I’m so glad we could.
+
+KHARY: Sometimes I can’t believe my luck. I love
+the things people ask me to do and I can’t believe
+
+I get to hang out with you guys and do this, this
+has been so much fun, I don’t know how to thank you.
+
+MATT: Pleasure is ours, man, thank you so much,
+seriously.
+
+KHARY: Oh!
+
+SAM: Are you inviting us on your show?
+
+KHARY: I have a gift! Is it all right if I–?
+
+MATT: Yeah, go for it.
+
+LAURA: Do you have a present?
+
+KHARY: I do have a present.
+
+MATT: Kind of.
+
+KHARY: Yeah, sort of, from your old friend. Let’s
+see I– let’s see.
+
+LIAM: Uh oh. All right, I know how this works.
+
+(laughter)
+
+KHARY: I was given something from Will Friedle.
+
+SAM: Is it a venereal disease?
+
+KHARY: At first he was like, “Oh, I’ve got
+something for you.”
+
+LIAM: Slipping you the digits.
+
+KHARY: Yes, he brought me this 20-sided dice.
+
+LAURA: It’s so pretty.
+
+KHARY: It is, it’s lovely, isn’t it?
+
+LIAM: He’s got gloves on him, don’t touch it.
+
+MARISHA: What’s it mean?
+
+LAURA: It was up Will’s butt.
+
+TRAVIS: He carried it in his ass.
+
+LIAM: Crystallized rice.
+
+MATT: Ass-20s, it’s like ass pennies.
+
+KHARY: My ass– no. He played with this,
+apparently, but at some point, it was touched by
+
+Wil Wheaton.
+
+ALL: Oh no!
+
+KHARY: Exactly. At some point, I had a hammer–
+
+MATT: You know what we should do, because we don’t
+want to do anything near the table, after this,
+
+we’re going to go ahead and record a video of you
+dealing with that like the Ring in Mount Doom.
+
+KHARY: Exactly.
+
+MATT: We’ll put it up on socials.
+
+KHARY: He gave this to me as if I would use it
+today. I was like, you know what, that’s the last
+
+thing I’m going to do.
+
+MATT: He had it blessed and everything, you were
+telling me.
+
+KHARY: He said that two witches blessed this thing
+and that it was okay. I watched him roll it, and
+
+it seemed like it was okay, but there’s no way
+this thing can be okay.
+
+MATT: It’s safer for everyone.
+
+KHARY: Rather than have any foolish soul wander
+upon it, we’re going do with this thing, like
+
+you say, we’re going to take this thing out.
+
+MATT: We’ll have that video for you guys in the
+near future. Guys, great game. We’ll take this up
+
+next week.
+
+LAURA: I can’t believe we survived.
+
+MARISHA: We’re heroes.
+
+TALIESIN: We lived.
+
+LIAM: Just for one day.
+
+KHARY: The plan was perfect.
+
+MATT: The plan was perfect. A couple things didn’t
+work out to get out of there in time, I was hoping
+
+that would.
+
+KHARY: I was really disappointed in Nott for a
+while, and then she ran up there and did what no
+
+one else would.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Nott the Brave.
+
+SAM: Nott the Stupid.
+
+MATT: Thank you guys so much. Khary, thank you
+again. Shakäste goes into the annals of Wildemount
+
+history. Thank you guys so much for tuning in.
+We’ll be back here next Thursday to continue this
+
+story. Until then, is it Thursday yet? Have a good
+night.
+
+MATT: Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
+
+sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Oh, that
+was good. Well done.
+
+LIAM: We all had to fought to be heard that time.
+
+MATT: Yeah! It helps when you all say it at once
+because it just becomes noise at that point and
+
+nothing really affects me. I find it funny, it
+amuses. So yes, welcome! Before we jump into
+
+tonight’s game, let’s go through some quick
+announcements. First and foremost, we have
+
+returning our fantastic sponsor and partner for
+the beginning of this campaign into the
+
+foreseeable future: D&D Beyond!
+
+TRAVIS: D&D Beyond!
+
+MATT: Sam, do you have a–
+
+SAM: Guys, check out DnDBeyond.com. They’re giving
+away a Legendary Bundle on their Facebook page. A
+
+Legendary Bundle contains every digital source
+available on D&D Beyond, all reference books,
+
+including a pre-order for Mordenkainen’s Tome of
+Foes. Go to Facebook.com/DnDBeyond, check out that
+
+top pinned post for instructions. Last week, as
+you all know, I sent out a request saying, “Send
+
+“me your stories of D&D Beyond, mail me your
+stories,” so I got some viewer mail to read. “Dear
+
+"Sam, you’re my favorite on Critical Role, don’t
+tell Travis!”
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking dicks.
+
+SAM: “Also a big fan of D&D Beyond, but had one
+question: Was that you I saw in Studio City,
+
+"running around covered only in mayonnaise? If so,
+what the hell, dude?” I don’t know what that is.
+
+“Dear Sam, I own a convenience store, we have your
+show on our TV all the time, love you as Nott, but
+
+"please be aware I’ve filed an injunction to keep
+you a hundred feet away from the store. We have
+
+"you on-camera stealing jars of mayonnaise and
+smearing them all over your body. PS: D&D Beyond
+
+"rocks.” Okay. “Dear Sam, to answer your question:
+No, we do not consider 16 jars of Hellman’s
+
+"mayonnaise slathered over your naked body
+appropriate attire for our furry convention. No,
+
+"it does not matter if you use Cool-Whip instead,
+your credentials have been revoked, please stop
+
+"asking.” There’s nothing even about D&D Beyond in
+that one. But hey! D&D Beyond!
+
+MATT: Didn’t realize mayonnaise could be a
+fursona, but I guess we all learned something
+
+tonight. Thank you, Sam.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s great camouflage.
+
+LIAM: I think Matt went dead inside.
+
+LAURA: I was looking at his face as that was going
+on, was like–
+
+MATT: What is going on, Sam? Thank you, Sam.
+
+LIAM: I guess somebody at this table used to go to
+furry conventions.
+
+MATT: Nothing wrong with that, unless you’re
+covered in mayonnaise.
+
+LIAM: It does not go well with fur.
+
+MATT: Exactly. Another reminder for those of you
+who have Amazon Prime, can go on Twitch and use
+
+your Prime account to subscribe for free to any
+channel you want to, every month, and I think they
+
+just put out an email to Prime members that they
+have a new way of making sure it notifies you
+
+whenever your subscription is up, so you can know
+when that’s happening, which is pretty useful.
+
+Also, Talks Machina, of course, is every Tuesday
+night at 7:00PM Pacific here on Twitch and Project
+
+Alpha, hosted by our fantastic Brian W. Foster.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey!
+
+MARISHA: Nailed it! You know our friend’s name.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be your announcement from
+now on. Cabbageman Foster is a fantastic host of
+
+the show, you can check him out next week, thank
+you, Brian. Podcast of last week’s episode is
+
+available where all fine podcasts downloadable, so
+if you want the audio version, or your friends are
+
+listening to the audio versions, they can find it
+now and be caught up after this episode, I guess.
+
+LAURA: (loud whisper) Can I have a pencil?
+
+MARISHA: (loud whisper) Yeah.
+
+MATT: I’m talking!
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry. I just saw that she had
+pencils.
+
+LIAM: I have a bunch as well.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. Heads up to all of our fans, we’re
+going to be at Emerald City Comic Con. Our good
+
+friends at Dark Horse will be selling the print
+version of Vox Machina: Origins #1.
+
+SAM: They already are, aren’t they?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s happening
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right, because it’s already there!
+There you go.
+
+LIAM: And there’s copies for us in this building
+somewhere.
+
+MARISHA: Are there?
+
+TALIESIN: You have fluff on your chin.
+
+LAURA: You got it.
+
+TRAVIS: Just leave it there.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. There’s a limited number.
+
+MATT: Yeah, they only have 1000 copies, so if
+you’re going to get one, get it soon.
+
+LAURA: That’s it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s it.
+
+LAURA: They might be gone already!
+
+LIAM: Could be.
+
+LAURA: It’s gone, you got it.
+
+MATT: The limit’s only five copies per person, per
+day, so we’ll see how that works out. That’s Dark
+
+Horse, booth 1708 at the event, so if you’re going
+to be there, look for that. Also, you’ll be able
+
+to look for these two folks. You guys are flying
+out to that tomorrow, right?
+
+TRAVIS: We are.
+
+LAURA: Early, early, early in the morning.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll be there around noon thirty for our
+first panel of the day.
+
+LAURA: We have a couple of Critical Role things
+tomorrow, so come say hi.
+
+MATT: Issue five of the comic book, by the way,
+goes up March 7th, so next week, you’ll be able to
+
+check out the fifth comic, the next stage in the
+story.
+
+LIAM: Character development.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty awesome, actually. I’m excited
+for you guys to check it out. I’m excited to read
+
+it myself, so keep an eye out for that. You can
+find it on Dark Horse’s digital comics platform,
+
+comiXology, and many other places you can find
+on the Geek & Sundry website that I didn’t
+
+bother to put down. Once again, reminding that
+826LA and 826 in general is our partner-friend
+
+charity from the very beginning of this whole
+stream and we’re still pushing them because
+
+they’re amazing. Check them out if you haven’t had
+the chance; they do great work, and maybe you can
+
+do great work with them either by helping support
+them–
+
+MARISHA: Go volunteer! Go start a D&D club! Hit
+them up! Kids and D&D are hilarious.
+
+MATT: As a heads up, I’ll be at Lexington Comic &
+Toy Convention next weekend in Kentucky, so for
+
+those of you guys who are in that vicinity, come
+say hello to me!
+
+MARISHA: Represent!
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+MARISHA: Hometown! Well, not really. An hour and a
+half outside my hometown!
+
+TRAVIS: Partial, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Relatively. It’s fine. Come and hopefully
+see me there! We’ll have events and signings and
+
+all kinds of good stuff, so, yay! I think that’s
+almost all of the announcements?
+
+MARISHA: We’re Alive just came out on Project
+Alpha with the amazing horror aficionado Ivan Van
+
+Norman. It’s awesome. It’s based off of the “We’re
+Alive” podcast; it’s “We’re Alive: Frontier.”
+
+It’s, oh man, you guys have to go watch it. Next
+week is the first episode of my new show with Mr.
+
+Matt Key: Key Question! That’s on Tuesday.
+
+LAURA: I’m excited about that one.
+
+MARISHA: It’s going to be good. It’s got some good
+shit in it, been looking at the edits. So yeah. Go watch.
+
+MATT: And… I think that’s it, right?
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, there’s one little thing, which
+is that Travis and I are… having a baby!
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: All this! This right here!
+
+TRAVIS: Look at this one, too.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That’s currently available in the store
+right now.
+
+LAURA: That’s available in the store.
+
+TRAVIS: Limited number, limited quality. I think
+there are only one.
+
+MARISHA: Available where you can find all babies.
+
+LAURA: Very excited to not have to hide it on the
+show anymore! Thanks for blocking my belly the
+
+whole time.
+
+SAM: Certainly. Your turn to block mine!
+
+LAURA: Yay!
+
+MATT: We got our new Critter coming. So excited.
+
+LAURA: That’s right. We rolled a character sheet
+for our baby on our announcement.
+
+MARISHA: I like Bladder Kick. That one’s my
+favorite.
+
+MATT: That was pretty great. If you guys haven’t
+seen it yet on Laura and Travis’ Twitter, you can
+
+go and see the announcement page. It’s pretty
+adorable.
+
+TRAVIS: I like his flaws: poops his pants.
+
+MATT: It’s a pretty big flaw… and for some
+people it’s a strength. I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: The baby is sitting playing Dungeons &
+Dragons with us.
+
+LIAM and LAURA: Right now.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: The baby is being watched by so many
+people.
+
+LAURA: Don’t be shy baby, it’s okay!
+
+SAM: Hey, are you guys going to hold a Critter
+contest to name your child?
+
+LAURA: What a good idea, Sam! No!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Son of a– go ahead and do that. Go
+ahead.
+
+LIAM: Send those suggestions to @laurabaileyVO on
+twitter.com!
+
+MARISHA: You’re definitely live-streaming the
+birth though, right?
+
+LAURA: Oh, live-streaming the birth. We’re going
+to Periscope the birth for sure. My goal is to go
+
+into labor while we’re playing on a Thursday
+night.
+
+MATT: We laugh now.
+
+LAURA: How great would that be?
+
+MATT: Oh, man.
+
+LIAM: Well, we played the game once in that back
+office, so we could just move to you and then
+
+bring the stuff with us.
+
+MATT: That’s true, yeah!
+
+LIAM: Dwarven Forge, Dwarven Forge, Dwarven
+Forge.
+
+MATT: On that note! Congratulations to the two of
+you guys, we’re all super excited for you.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+MATT: And with that, let’s go ahead and dive into
+tonight’s episode of Critical Role!
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. And welcome back, Laura, when
+she gets done using the restroom. Where we left
+
+off, you guys have been travelling northward into
+the Marrow Valley, eventually making your way
+
+towards the city of Zadash. Along the way, you
+were passing by the city of Alfield just past the
+
+sunset as an incursion of a gnoll warband began to
+set fire to a number of the buildings. You rushed
+
+in to aid some of the denizens there, jumped in
+under the watch of Bryce, the Watchmaster there,
+
+and managed to slay a few, but they managed to
+escape with a number of bodies and living members
+
+of the community. You were then given the
+opportunity to make some money and to wreak some
+
+proper vengeance for this town by finding out
+where these gnolls were and retrieve those who
+
+were still living and/or the bodies of those that
+needed to at least be given a proper burial. Along
+
+that path, you discovered this underground network
+of what was an abandoned mine where they had been
+
+holing up. While you were travelling down there
+and battling with these gnolls as you did, you
+
+encountered a new ally: this individual named
+Shakäste and his amazing little dark hummingbird.
+
+All of you together managed to make your way
+through, save a number of lives– (burps) pardon
+
+me– encounter the priest of these gnollish
+creatures who had been using these members of the
+
+town to help feed a mother manticore. To retrieve
+some of the living members, you managed to get
+
+into battle with it. Nott slew the baby manticore,
+drawing its ire, and you all, by the skin of your
+
+teeth, took both the priest and her out, and in
+doing so saved the lives of those that were
+
+within, retrieved a small bounty of things that
+were caught within the nest and the priest’s
+
+corpse, and made your way back to town. Upon
+arriving–
+
+(shuffling chairs, laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Anything for that butt-shot, Sam.
+
+MATT: That’s Sam’s gift to you guys. Upon
+returning, the sun had set. A number of members of
+
+the city of Alfield began to thank you for what
+you’ve done. They began to come out into the
+
+streets and began to make small campfires and play
+music and basically take this moment to both
+
+grieve and be thankful that there are individuals
+who will stand up and show strength in the face of
+
+darkness even this far out on the edges of the
+empire. In this time, you realize right about now
+
+that your new friend Shakäste seems to have
+vanished from the vicinity. You glance about, and
+
+at a quick look, he’s gone.
+
+LAURA: Where did Shakäste go?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. He’s very mysterious.
+
+MARISHA: He’s the coolest.
+
+LAURA: He’s like the wind. (gasps) Maybe he was the
+Traveler!
+
+SAM: What does that mean, the Traveler?
+
+LAURA: The Traveler.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a deity.
+
+LAURA: Well, yeah, mostly. Yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LAURA: I mean, he takes many forms.
+
+SAM: Do you worship the Traveler?
+
+LAURA: Maybe I’m the Traveler.
+
+SAM: Okay, maybe she doesn’t worship the
+Traveler.
+
+LAURA: I mean, yeah, sure. I worship him, sure.
+He’s more like my best friend.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, don’t you think that if that was
+the Traveler he would have said, “Hey. I’m the Traveler.”
+
+LAURA: Probably.
+
+MARISHA: He didn’t seem very irreverent in the way
+the Traveler seems to be.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+LAURA: How do you know what the Traveler’s like?
+Do you hang out with the Traveler too?
+
+MARISHA: No, but I hang out with you.
+
+LAURA: Oh, right. Well, he’s probably not the
+Traveler, then.
+
+LIAM: I liked that guy, though. He was good.
+
+MARISHA: He was.
+
+TRAVIS: He was pretty cool.
+
+LIAM: He was talented.
+
+SAM: Are you okay, Caleb? You went a little quiet
+there for a little while.
+
+MARISHA: Is that your first time killing
+something? Or somebody?
+
+LIAM: He was burned alive in front of me.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you did that, though.
+
+LIAM: I am well aware that I killed a person. I
+have nothing else to say, why is everyone looking at me?
+
+LAURA: Have you ever killed someone before?
+
+TRAVIS: We were worried. You kind of went into a
+state. Just making sure you are all right.
+
+LIAM: I’m okay.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, yeah.
+
+LIAM: It was terribly grisly; his hair was on fire
+and he burned horribly. Maybe it went a little
+
+further than I anticipated– I have killed people
+before in defense, ja. But not like that.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, there’s one surefire way to make
+sure that he’s all right, which is, we get drunk
+
+on something really expensive and listen to the
+stories of all the people we just saved so you
+
+can feel better about everything that just
+happened.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that sounds good.
+
+TALIESIN: And we’re going to spend a ridiculous amount
+of the money we just made.
+
+LAURA: I’m okay with that.
+
+MARISHA: I am too.
+
+SAM: Oh, didn’t we get some items as well?
+
+LAURA: Oh, yeah! Who was it that had that stuff?
+
+TRAVIS: Apparently, I raise my hand in this group.
+That just happened.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, you, the small one in the back.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we have a silver ring with a little
+blue gem on it.
+
+LAURA: Can I have it?
+
+TRAVIS: Hold on a second!
+
+LAURA: I like rings!
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking pace yourself, all right? Yeah, I
+know. The bling is going to come your way, all
+
+right? We have a carved wand. Anybody have a wand
+that’s not carved?
+
+SAM: Is it a stick?
+
+TRAVIS: It is.
+
+SAM: I like sticks.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit. Well. Yeah. We got some chained
+manacles, they’re some big sons of bitches with a
+
+bunch of runes on the cuffs.
+
+LAURA: Ooh.
+
+TALIESIN: I like manacles.
+
+MARISHA: Who ended up grabbing the goggles? Did I
+grab the goggles? I got them off the priest!
+
+MATT: You did, yes.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to pull them out, take a look
+at them.
+
+TALIESIN: Those are fancy.
+
+MATT: The base of them is a soft leather that’s
+been cured and taken care of once you manage to
+
+wipe off some of the blood and soot from the
+remains of the previous owner. It’s a set of
+
+goggles that can be comfortably placed over your
+head, and the glass elements, or the lenses of them
+
+have a bluish-purple sheen to them.
+
+MARISHA: I put them on.
+
+LIAM: Would you like to know what they are before
+you put them on?
+
+MARISHA: Too late, man. It’s like Thir13en Ghosts
+(screams). No, I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: What does it look like? Is it like a
+kaleidoscope?
+
+MATT: When you place them over your eyes, because
+immediately in the vicinity there’s the few small
+
+bonfires people have gathered around, other than
+that, it’s a dark night sky with stars peeking through the
+
+elements of the clouds that have broken apart. It
+looks like a cloudfront is still blowing in from
+
+the eastern side of the valley, but from what
+little bit of the sky you can see, the stars are
+
+there. Upon placing the lenses over your eyes, you
+have clear definition of all the nearby buildings,
+
+the dark alleyways. You have a very clear
+perspective on anything that is not directly being
+
+hit by firelight, and the firelight is almost a
+little too bright.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, you guys. Is this what you can
+see all the time?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, what does it look like?
+
+MARISHA: It’s like I got night vision! Like I can
+see… things!
+
+LIAM: Look over here. You look like a nerd.
+
+MARISHA: I can deal with that, it’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s great. With you humans–
+
+MARISHA: I can see shit!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s real important. We were running
+into problems–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m curious, can I try them on really
+quick?
+
+LAURA: Do they fit over your–
+
+TALIESIN: No, I got to unstrap them. I’m holding
+them up–
+
+MATT: It tugs all of your horn jewelry and under
+it in an uncomfortable way.
+
+TRAVIS: Jingle jangle jingle jingle.
+
+MATT: No effect, actually.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, this is nothing.
+
+MARISHA: Lies.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+SAM: Can you see through my clothes?
+
+MARISHA: Do you want me to see through your
+clothes?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: Nah.
+
+TRAVIS: I remember you have an ability to
+identify?
+
+LIAM: I don’t have ability, I understand
+certain magics. If you want me to explain what
+
+those things are before you try them willy-nilly,
+yes, I can tell you–
+
+LAURA: Ooh, then look at the ring that I want!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure, yes.
+
+LIAM: May I see it?
+
+TRAVIS: Absolutely. Here’s the silver ring with
+the blue gem.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. You know, I’m just going to check D&D
+Beyond to see if I– Yeah, I’m all tapped, but–
+
+SAM: Maybe you could just look at it and see with
+your smarts.
+
+LIAM: I will tell you something.
+
+TRAVIS: Motherfucker.
+
+LAURA: He totally just took the ring from–
+
+TRAVIS: I know!
+
+LIAM: I will tell you something: I don’t need to
+have this ring, I can tell you what it is.
+
+MATT: Do you have Identify as a spell?
+
+LIAM: I do, but I need a pearl. I say to Fjord, I
+need a somewhat valuable pearl, then I can do it
+
+all day long. I can know what anything is, even
+though I am tired.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, do any of the rings that I have on my
+fingers have a pearl on them?
+
+SAM: How about the one that I stole from her?
+
+MATT: The ring that would have the pearl on it is
+no longer on your hand, and the one that you have
+
+does have set into it a fairly nice pearl.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) You have a pearl!
+
+SAM: Would you–
+
+LIAM: Is that worth about a hundred gold pieces?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+LIAM: Oh, yes, let me– Can I borrow this?
+
+SAM: I want it back, though.
+
+LIAM: This is not instantaneous. Since I am so
+tired, it takes me a little bit longer. I wedge
+
+out one of my books and I set it on the ground.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want to go to–
+
+TALIESIN: Instead of setting a book on the ground,
+let’s sit at a table at a pub or bar.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll make sure you’re not disturbed.
+
+LIAM: It’s up to you. I haven’t done this in a
+while and I’m excited to do it. But I could hold
+
+off a little.
+
+TALIESIN: I require drink and lumbar support.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I take the book and I close it and
+then I put it back.
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to carry it for you?
+
+LIAM: No, I have both the ring and the one that
+Fjord gave me. So if it’s good for you, you may
+
+have it. I’m more interested in executing
+skill.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, yeah. Molly, I need something from
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes?
+
+TRAVIS: Find us a fucking bar.
+
+TALIESIN: On it.
+
+SAM: Should we just go to the Feed and Mead?
+
+LAURA: Let’s do it!
+
+SAM: Or somewhere else?
+
+LAURA: I hope they have milk.
+
+TRAVIS: Because the Candleglow Inn is fucking
+toast.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to just literally yell at the
+top of my lungs in the middle of the crowd: I’m
+
+looking for the best pub in this bloody town!
+
+MATT: As soon as you finish screaming it, you turn
+around and go face to face with Crute, the rather
+
+rough-looking dwarf who runs the Feed and Mead
+where you guys have been staying. He goes, “Huh,
+
+"that would be my place where you are staying.”
+
+TALIESIN: Onward!
+
+MATT: Everyone around is like “Eh.” But
+he’s already got your attention. He leads you guys
+
+back to the familiar Feed and Mead. Where has been
+empty previously when you guys were staying there,
+
+now there seems to be a little bit of an air of
+celebration. Since that is where you guys are
+
+going, other people are following and it seems the
+party is going where you’re going. As you enter
+
+the place, Crute seems excited because now all of
+a sudden there’s a burst in clientele.
+
+TRAVIS: Pub crawl.
+
+SAM: There’s only one pub.
+
+MATT: As you begin to order your drinks, many of
+the various villagers prevent you from paying. For
+
+the remainder of the evening, your drinks are on
+the town of Alfield.
+
+TRAVIS: Very, very generous. Fucking drink up.
+
+LIAM: Before we even go into the building, I go
+over to Nott and adjust the hood a little bit
+
+further forward.
+
+SAM: Are my ears tucked back in?
+
+LIAM: The ears are in and make sure that the mask
+is secure. Have fun.
+
+SAM: Okay. You’re really all right, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m okay. It was a rough night.
+
+SAM: I know, but you went a bit catatonic.
+
+LIAM: I did.
+
+SAM: Did you see anything or have a vision? I
+don’t know.
+
+LIAM: No, I did not see a vision. I saw a burning
+person.
+
+SAM: All right. They were bad.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go get a drink.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: Anybody who tries to buy me a drink, I
+slip a silver into their pocket. Let me know how
+
+low we get.
+
+MATT: Okay. They’re common folk for the most part.
+Nobody seems to notice. Those that even do watch
+
+you aren’t going to argue. Now, is that just
+drinks on you?
+
+TALIESIN: When any time we let them buy us drinks,
+I’m just going to put a silver in anybody’s pocket
+
+who’s buying us drinks.
+
+MATT: Okay, depending on how many rounds you guys
+want, that’ll put you down about two gold
+
+probably by the time the night is done.
+
+TALIESIN: Done.
+
+SAM: I’m going to keep getting shots and pouring
+them into my flask and going up and asking for another.
+
+MATT: Fair enough. Make it three gold (laughs).
+Caleb, you’re spending time–
+
+LIAM: I’m going to find a corner table in the
+ruckus. I will take the ring with the pearl, and I
+
+hold it right here. I pull out the other ring and
+I look at it and I begin to focus and study the
+
+different angles of it and hope that I have a
+pearl of enough value to make things happen.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to sit next to Caleb and watch it
+all happen.
+
+MATT: It is riveting.
+
+LAURA: Don’t you need to pull out your book so you
+can look at your spells?
+
+LIAM: It’s already out.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: You know when you play D&D, you don’t
+narrate taking a pooper, but you can assume that
+
+the characters take a pooper every day.
+
+TRAVIS: (chagrined) I narrated it.
+
+LAURA: This is true.
+
+LIAM: Some things just happen.
+
+LAURA: While he’s doing everything he’s doing, I’m
+going try to very subtly draw a dick in his book.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+SAM: (singing) It’s a dick in a book.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+SAM: Natural dick 20.
+
+TALIESIN: 20 god damn dicks.
+
+MATT: Yes, the pearl is enough for you to focus on
+the spell.
+
+LIAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: The ring.
+
+MARISHA: What is it?
+
+SAM: Is this our first item?
+
+MATT: And you know what this is.
+
+LAURA: It’s our first item!
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+LAURA: What is it, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: This is good. You may have it. I don’t get
+into water too much, as you could guess. This is
+
+good for walking yourself upon water. You take
+this, as promised.
+
+MARISHA: That’s rad.
+
+LAURA: You can stand on and move across any liquid
+surface?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but also why is there a dickbutt in my
+spellbook?
+
+LAURA: Where did that come from?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. Maybe it was Nott pulling a
+prank on me.
+
+LAURA: Probably. It was probably Nott. Wow, this
+ring is so cool!
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Caleb, are you exhausted from that
+experience? We do have other items to–
+
+LIAM: No, I don’t need– well, I do want one drink,
+but I don’t need a ton of drinks. This is my
+
+thing, so what else did we get?
+
+TRAVIS: We have a carved stick– wand.
+
+LIAM: I will take the wand.
+
+TRAVIS: Yup.
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: These big fucking chain manacles I’ve just got
+over my shoulder.
+
+LIAM: I need another ten minutes. Fjord, would you
+get me a second whiskey? By the time you get back,
+
+maybe I will understand what this is.
+
+TRAVIS: I ain’t a fucking waitress.
+
+LIAM: Ten minutes later.
+
+MATT: Yep. Look at the majesty of this.
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a wand of dickbutts.
+
+LAURA: How fortunate.
+
+LIAM: (sighs)
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the: Do I tell them or do I not?
+
+LAURA: What is it?!
+
+LIAM: It’s fascinating.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Oh. Do you know how to use wands?
+
+LAURA: Of course I do.
+
+LIAM: Is she full of shit? What do I roll?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I got a 15.
+
+MATT: She seems to be on the level.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’m on the level.
+
+LIAM : This is too dangerous for you to have. I’m
+keeping this one–
+
+LAURA: No, just tell me what it is, Caleb!
+
+LIAM: No it’s for me, I gave you the ring. That’s
+the deal. I promised it to you and now you have it.
+
+TALIESIN: What does the wand do?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to say, you can just
+share.
+
+LAURA: You have to tell us.
+
+LIAM: If I tell you, you will try to steal it from
+me.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I swear I won’t.
+
+LAURA: Unless it’s a wand that makes doughnuts or
+pickles, then I probably won’t try to steal it, probably.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s too dangerous.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: No, Caleb!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking his drink away. You don’t get
+to drink.
+
+TRAVIS: Now it’s definitely going to be stolen.
+
+We have one other item. Not that I don’t
+love my posture being corrected.
+
+MATT: You technically have two more.
+
+LIAM: Fine, do you want to know what it does?
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+LIAM: I will show you what it does.
+
+LAURA: What does it do? Wait, he’s doing it!
+
+SAM: Oh, he’s casting the wand.
+
+LIAM: I point this stick at Jester.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a– is it a wisdom or charisma?
+
+LIAM: It is a charisma saving throw.
+
+MATT: Charisma saving throw, please.
+
+LAURA: Ah, oh Jesus. Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: First party death.
+
+SAM: Insta-death.
+
+LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. Oh, 12.
+
+LIAM: Oh, it’s just a stick.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it didn’t do anything?
+
+LIAM: No. Told you.
+
+LAURA: That’s a very low DC, because I rolled
+shit.
+
+LIAM: A low what?
+
+LAURA: A DC.
+
+Yeah, that’s a nine, right? It’s a nein!
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Nein.
+
+LAURA: Plus three.
+
+TRAVIS: How about these them there chain manacles?
+So I can get my spine back in alignment.
+
+MARISHA: You look like you’re into some shit.
+
+LIAM: I promise you’ll have these back because I cannot
+lift them. Would you put them on the table for me?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: (crash) Onto the table.
+
+TRAVIS: They’re fucking huge.
+
+LIAM: Hold the ring and wait.
+
+MATT: You finish the spell. They are not magical.
+They once were, and you can tell by the runes at
+
+the base of where the manacles clink together that
+they were at some point sealed. Whatever
+
+enchantment was on them has been released.
+
+TRAVIS: Tell me they’re super valuable. That was a
+fucking bitch to lug around.
+
+LIAM: They are a very strange one. If you are
+feeling gassy, they take away the cramps you feel.
+
+You have to wear them. It’s extraneous, it’s too
+much.
+
+TRAVIS: Seems extreme.
+
+LIAM: It’s overkill.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, all right. Well, mysterious wonders.
+
+LAURA: What kind of metal is it?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I was going to say, it’s a lot of
+good metal. We can always sell it for scrap metal.
+
+LAURA: To the blacksmith.
+
+TRAVIS: I like that more.
+
+MATT: There’s also the glaive.
+
+LAURA: I have a glaive. Look at this glaive.
+
+MARISHA: Didn’t we get a pendant off of the
+priest?
+
+MATT: No, there was a glove.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, the red glove!
+
+LIAM: These are shit. I slide them off the
+table–
+
+MATT: (crash) Everyone who’s near in the vicinity
+all of a sudden turns as this loud, heavy clatter
+
+of metal chains–
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry! No, we’re just going through stuff.
+Back to your drinks, everything’s fine.
+
+LIAM: I want to do it again. What do we have? Give
+me the thing.
+
+LAURA: A glaive.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+SAM: That’s a big thing.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Oh.
+
+LAURA: Is it too dangerous for me to have?
+
+SAM: It’s too dangerous.
+
+LIAM: No, this is great. It’s very powerful. It
+is a fine weapon. Probably better than anything–
+
+except maybe for your blade. Is anyone able to
+use a glaive? I can’t do anything with it.
+
+LAURA: What is a glaive?
+
+MATT: A glaive is a polearm with a giant axe blade
+at the top of it.
+
+SAM: Beau could use it, right?
+
+MATT: It’s not a monk weapon.
+
+LAURA: Is it something that I could use?
+
+MATT: It’s a two-handed weapon, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Can I use a two-handed weapon? Oh, I have a
+shield.
+
+MATT: You have a shield, you’d have to get rid of
+your shield and I have go to see if you have the
+
+capability to even use it. Because I don’t think
+you know– do you know simple weapons?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Let me double check real fast. As far as I
+know–
+
+LAURA: I need to get a better weapon, though, you
+guys. Because this sickle doesn’t do much.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s very pretty.
+
+LAURA: It’s really cool-looking, right? That’s why
+got it. How’s it balanced, is it good?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s very nice.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you aren’t proficient with glaives,
+unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+LIAM: Do you know what this is? It is a very good
+sale at a pawn shop.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: None of us can use it?
+
+LAURA: Well, what does it do, because how much is
+it worth?
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s very painful if it hits you.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: That’s it.
+
+MARISHA: So it is magical?
+
+LIAM: Most definitely it is magical, yes. Stronger
+than your average glaive, that’s what I am saying, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Great, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I have a feeling that no one in this town
+could afford it right now. But when we get to–
+
+LAURA: Zadash.
+
+MARISHA: Zadash. I might know a few contacts that
+might want something.
+
+LIAM: You know people in Zadash?
+
+MARISHA: I know people everywhere.
+
+LAURA: I’m writing magic glaive.
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, who’s keeping stuff? Are you our
+stuff keeper?
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s got the oven mitt?
+
+LIAM: Who’s got the monster calves to carry this?
+There you go.
+
+LAURA: (grunts)
+
+SAM: Oven mitt?
+
+LIAM: Here.
+
+TRAVIS: Red oven mitt, who’s got it?
+
+SAM and LAURA: I don’t know.
+
+TALIESIN: Who had the red oven mitt?
+
+MARISHA: Was it on the priest?
+
+MATT: It was on the priest.
+
+MARISHA: I have it. I got it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m looking at you while I say it the
+whole time.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got my goggles on and I’m just
+like–
+
+TRAVIS: I grab the nose piece and go (fwoosh)
+(impact).
+
+MARISHA: Ah!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I just punch him in the shoulder really
+hard.
+
+TRAVIS: (pained) Yeah, ah.
+
+MATT: Yeah, your left arm goes numb for a while.
+
+MARISHA: I pull out the oven mitt.
+
+LIAM: Oh my goodness, yeah. Like 45 minutes have
+gone by looking at all these things.
+
+MATT: You guys have all grown steadily more
+intoxicated.
+
+LAURA: Not me, because I drink milk.
+
+MATT: That’s right.
+
+SAM: And not me, because I’ve just been getting
+them and pouring them.
+
+LAURA: What is it? Can you shoot fire from your
+hands? Can you shoot lightning from your hands?
+
+Can you catch things really well?
+
+TALIESIN: Does it make a very good macaroni and
+cheese?
+
+LIAM: He just puts it away.
+
+LAURA: I don’t like Caleb looking at our shit
+anymore. He just looks at it and steals it.
+
+LIAM: He puts the wand down in front of Jester.
+
+LAURA: (gasps)
+
+MARISHA: What’s with the oven mitt?
+
+LIAM: It just hurts people.
+
+SAM: This is the wand, this is just it?
+
+LAURA: This is so cute.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, it hurts people so you’re going to
+hang onto it?
+
+LAURA: This is a great wand.
+
+LIAM: Do you know how to use arcane artifacts?
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t matter if I know how to use
+arcane artifacts. Stuff that hurts people could
+
+still be beneficial to our cause, because other
+people want to hurt us.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, she has a point. I know how to use
+arcane artifacts.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, why don’t you see if Fjord wants
+it?
+
+LAURA: I point the wand at Nott.
+
+SAM: I rolled a four.
+
+LAURA: (laughs)
+
+MATT: You watch from beneath the mask–
+
+LAURA: I pull the mask down.
+
+MATT: The edges of the toothy goblin grin curl
+into this uncontrollable smile that threatens to
+
+crack the sides of her face.
+
+LAURA: Oh my goodness. That’s really creepy, Nott.
+
+SAM: I can’t stop!
+
+LAURA: How do I make it stop?
+
+SAM: I don’t know, dear gods!
+
+TALIESIN: Nott, why so serious?
+
+SAM: It hurts!
+
+LAURA: I think it lasts for a while.
+
+SAM: Oh gods! It’s painful!
+
+MATT: At this point, these two young farm boys,
+that were in there drinking in the back and watching,
+
+listening in, are just staring at Nott and backing away
+slowly to the back of the room. “We got to go.”
+
+SAM: It’s okay.
+
+MATT: “We got to go!” They leave the room and
+everyone else just looking over. Yeah, it’s caused
+
+a bit of a scene.
+
+SAM: The Wand of Smiles.
+
+LAURA: Yes it’s a Wand of Smiles. They have to
+roll a DC of ten for charisma saving throw or be
+
+forced to smile for a minute.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, awesome.
+
+LAURA: That’s the cutest fucking wand!
+
+SAM: Love it.
+
+LAURA: I love it.
+
+MARISHA: I wonder if it works on animals.
+
+LAURA: We’ll find out. Where’s– oh, Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: What?
+
+LAURA: Frumpkin’s gone.
+
+LIAM: He’s not gone. He’s always with me and he
+will be back tomorrow.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Back to the glove thing, though.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. It burns people like I burned that
+man.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Well, you don’t want to keep it. You
+hate burning people.
+
+MARISHA: Exactly.
+
+TRAVIS: That could come in very handy.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not fair for you to put your issues
+onto literal inanimate objects.
+
+LIAM: Would you like to trade your goggles for
+them?
+
+MARISHA: No. I can’t use arcane shit. But he can.
+
+LIAM: You have that very fancy sword you have.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. But sometimes you need batting
+gloves.
+
+LIAM: Does it mean that much to you? Would you
+like it?
+
+TRAVIS: I would like to see it.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Here it is.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Hold on. That’s a fucking glove of
+fire.
+
+TALIESIN: Do your thing.
+
+LAURA: You have to stick it on your forehead.
+
+MATT: Does it require attunement?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. No. He’s good.
+
+MATT: After putting it on, you would actually know
+the properties of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, sweet! What are the properties of it?
+
+MARISHA: Give him the damn paper.
+
+LIAM: I don’t move at the speed of your thought.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Cool. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: What does it do?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a Scorching Ray spell. A little plus
+five.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry that I kept it for myself. Enjoy.
+I will not take any of the spoils of anything we
+
+find anywhere. Enjoy.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, you didn’t frame it that way,
+though. You put it under the guise of this is bad,
+
+this hurts people.
+
+LIAM: It does hurt people. You seem very angry at
+me right now.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just wondering what your deal is.
+
+LAURA: Look. This ring is perfect for you. That
+way if we get near water you don’t go in it.
+
+LIAM: I’m slowly, ever so slowly beginning to like
+you, so please don’t fuck it up.
+
+SAM: I think that we should all say thank you to
+Caleb for identifying our objects.
+
+LAURA: Cheers to Caleb!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. That’s not the issue. But cheers!
+
+LIAM: This is what people do.
+
+TRAVIS: And Nott, may I say thank you for saving
+my life, because I was in a fucking pickle in there
+
+and if you hadn’t gone and slaughtered that little
+baby manticore, I’d have been fucked. So thank you.
+
+SAM: You’re welcome.
+
+LAURA: Thank you, Fjord, for saving my life.
+
+TRAVIS: Did I save your life?
+
+LAURA: Didn’t you give me a potion?
+
+TRAVIS: I did. Yeah. That’s right.
+
+LAURA: I woke up and you were over me giving me a
+potion like a knight in shining armor.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You’re right. It was my pleasure.
+You would have done it for me.
+
+LAURA: I probably would have. Probably. I did do
+it for you though, Nott.
+
+SAM: Did you save me?
+
+LAURA: I saved your life!
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+LIAM: Is she still smiling?
+
+MATT: No. It’s faded by now.
+
+LAURA: I hold the wand under the table at Caleb’s
+leg and try to do it to him too.
+
+MATT: Make a charisma saving throw.
+
+LIAM: It’s constitution though, isn’t it?
+
+LAURA: It’s charisma. You had me do charisma.
+
+LIAM: I said constitution to you.
+
+MATT: She did charisma.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I’m sure I’ll fail it. 15.
+
+LAURA: You succeeded, but you didn’t even know I
+tried.
+
+MATT: As you guys finish your cheer, everyone else
+in the room also lifts their drinks. “Hurrah!” They all
+
+give a cheer as well.
+
+MARISHA: Huzzah.
+
+ALL: Huzzah!
+
+MATT: As the evening continues, some folks come up
+and tell their stories to you, give you thanks.
+
+Share a drink if someone was lost. Some recovered,
+some not. Overall, everyone seems to be very appreciative.
+
+Eventually, whether through just general
+exhaustion or imbibement, you bring yourself to
+
+rest, finding yourselves back to the singular room
+you’ve all been sharing here at the Feed and Mead.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah. Should we get another room
+now that we’ve got some extra coin?
+
+MARISHA: How many rooms do they have at the
+inn?
+
+MATT: Three.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh!
+
+MATT: It’s not a big place.
+
+SAM: Are they vacant?
+
+MATT: At the moment? Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: We can get an extra room.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s buy them all out.
+
+TRAVIS: Whoa! Hey, big spender! What?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take my own room if y'all don’t want
+in.
+
+LAURA: But we have always been roommates.
+
+MARISHA: Then come join me, girl!
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Crute, while he has been happy to provide
+you the evenings free for two rooms, even for all
+
+you’ve done, “I am a businessman, through and
+through, so I’ll give you a discount. Three silver.”
+
+MARISHA: Done.
+
+MATT: (laughs)
+
+LAURA: Matt’s totally taking advantage of the fact
+that none of us are hagglers this game. It’s hard.
+
+It’s really hard.
+
+TRAVIS: Craft fair Laura is dying.
+
+LIAM: I will also pay for a room for Nott and
+Caleb.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Then that will be also three
+silver.”
+
+LIAM: Wait did you just, ja? Did you pay for
+everybody or for you?
+
+MARISHA: I paid for me. Here, for giving you shit
+earlier. I give three silver.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.” (laughs) You have your own room
+now.
+
+LAURA: Totally obvious that he’s fucking us over.
+(imitates Crute’s laugh)
+
+LIAM: Danke.
+
+TALIESIN: Today has been the most profitable day
+in my life. I have never seen so much money cross
+
+my path.
+
+LAURA: More money will come tomorrow because we
+are selling the ears tomorrow!
+
+TALIESIN: This is ridiculous.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: Where are the ears? Someone has them safe.
+
+LAURA: Of course, yeah, I have the ears right here
+in this pickle jar.
+
+SAM: Maybe it should be in Caleb and I’s room
+because we’ll have the alarm to protect us.
+
+LAURA: No, I have them, it’s okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Is somebody just going to show up and
+say I–
+
+LAURA: Like who wants pickled ears really, except
+for me?
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to go get my cat! I go up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go eat some pickled ears!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to watch this.
+
+MATT: Do you actually partake in pickled ears?
+
+LAURA: No, I don’t. I go upstairs and I’m
+conversing with the Traveler.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you’re going to do your thing.
+
+MARISHA: I go up and head up to the room as well.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to doodle and talk to the
+Traveler.
+
+MATT: You all find yourselves going about what
+final business you have for the evening before
+
+rest takes you. You are doing your–
+
+LIAM: Well, I first take out the silver thread and
+I cross it across the door and if there’s any
+
+windows there, I do the same and allow for Nott to
+enter and leave. Then I draw patterns along the
+
+floor that spread up onto the table as well and
+back down onto the floor. I squat with my book
+
+since I am tapped and I begin to bring back my
+cat. An hour and ten minutes later, I don’t know
+
+if they’re asleep or not, I have this cat named
+Frumpkin and I wear him like a scarf.
+
+MATT: You watch as you finish the incantation and
+the ritual comes to a complete cycle, in the
+
+center of where you made these markers across the
+table you hear this slight tearing sound and there
+
+is this slight ripple in the air right in front of
+you in the center of this and it’s almost like a
+
+slight little tear in reality almost. From that,
+Frumpkin steps out and lands, looks up at you.
+
+(meows)
+
+LIAM: Come here, I promise–
+
+MATT: Immediately leaps up into your hands.
+
+LIAM: I promise not to do that too often. I just
+scritch, for a long time.
+
+MATT: He purrs against you.
+
+MARISHA: He can’t even hear about it!
+
+LAURA: Can I draw the general gnoll peeing on a
+little fire hydrant and the rest of the gnolls
+
+behind him fighting over a bone?
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do.
+
+LAURA: Then I’m going to draw the cutest baby
+manticore you’ve ever seen and it’s dead! I’m going
+
+to tell the Traveler: You know, I don’t know
+what’s going on. I’m just hoping that you’re here
+
+because this is the farthest I’ve ever gone and
+I’m afraid that you can’t hear me anymore and it’s
+
+freaking me out a little bit. Because I know that
+I’m around a bunch of people now and I haven’t
+
+been before, but I want you to know that you’re
+still my best friend and if you want me to be
+
+alone I will be if that means that you’ll be here.
+
+MARISHA: Beau just reaches over and hands her a
+kleenex.
+
+LAURA: Thank you. Okay, that’s all, good night.
+What?
+
+MARISHA: Nothing.
+
+LAURA: Did you hear that?
+
+MARISHA: I’m in the room with you.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Right.
+
+MARISHA: I’m reading. While she was doing that,
+I’m opening the letters from the Baumbauchs.
+
+MATT: Oh! Right.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: Well, finishing up with you. As you finish
+that and lay down, you lay on one side, staring
+
+towards the wall in this moment of quiet. You feel
+this strange warmth and you look down underneath
+
+your robes and there you have the symbol of the
+Traveler that you keep on yourself, the door arch
+
+and path, and it’s warm to the touch, warmer than
+your skin is. The subtle sensation of familiar
+
+closeness comes over you, and wordless, but an
+emotion washes through your brain that’s alien,
+
+from the outside of your own thoughts that just
+says, “I’m with you.”
+
+LAURA: I take the symbol and I hold it up to my
+cheek and I go to sleep.
+
+MATT: Okay. You start going through. There were four
+letters clustered in here. You tear through the
+
+first one and look at it and it looks like it’s a
+shipment ledger up by Nogvurot. Nogvurot, it’s a
+
+city on the northern end of the empire. It’s just
+an information ledger about shipments received,
+
+confirming payment and distribution to which
+taverns are receiving it, and then asking for the
+
+next shipment. The second one that you open is
+another ledger, this one comes from Deastok to the
+
+west. This one’s cheaper, it’s a smaller ledger.
+The third one you open up, and it’s a complaint–
+
+MARISHA: (kissing sounds) What is it?
+
+MATT: From Rexxentrum. It’s titled by– it
+doesn’t have the name but it says “The purveyor of
+
+the Rotted Stump”, which is apparently some sort of
+bar or tavern saying, “To the Baumbauch family: I
+
+"would happily request that if you are to send the
+aforementioned and already paid shipments to our
+
+"establishment that they would not be containing
+any sort of animals of which could chew through
+
+"and ruin and spoil the shipments you’ve been
+given. We request an immediate refund.” It shows a
+
+copy of a deal that was made. It’s just an open
+complaint.
+
+MARISHA: Nice.
+
+MATT: The fourth one’s a little interesting. It’s
+just titled: To Demedan Baumbauch. Specifically.
+
+ALL: Demedan! Ooh!
+
+LIAM: I’m sure that one’s not important.
+
+SAM: It’s mostly about mayonnaise.
+
+LAURA: He’s totally looking!
+
+LIAM: I know.
+
+TALIESIN: Dear Mr. Mayo. We relish the time we’ve
+had together.
+
+MARISHA: Would I recognize what this word means?
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+MARISHA: Do I get any time of advantage for being
+a shifty person?
+
+MATT: No, because this would be an investigation
+check specifically, not an intelligence, it would
+
+be an investigation.
+
+MARISHA: Is this a code? Is this backwards? This
+is backwards, isn’t it? Fuck balls.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight. Well. You’re just going to have to
+figure it out on your own.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Fuck balls.
+
+MARISHA: Toordolbo.
+
+SAM: We’ll come back to you.
+
+MARISHA: Do I know what the Evening Nip is? Do I
+recognize that?
+
+MATT: You don’t, actually.
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t know the old evening nip?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I finish reading everything, I go over to
+a sleeping Jester, pull her blankets up and tuck
+
+her in a little bit, and then I crash out.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Two quick things. One, I’d like to ask Caleb,
+when he’s done with his insanely long ritual: That
+
+pouch that I gave you, what was in it?
+
+LIAM: Did you give me a pouch?
+
+SAM: Oh, I gave you a pouch before. You might not
+have felt it, but it’s in your back pocket.
+
+LIAM: When did you do that?
+
+SAM: Before?
+
+LIAM: Oh, what is in it? Let’s see.
+
+MATT: Which pouch is this?
+
+LAURA: Shakäste’s.
+
+MATT: Oh, Shakäste’s pouch. You find what is
+roughly a handful of bird seed.
+
+LAURA: Wouldn’t it be funny if there was, like, two
+copper and a bunch of bird seed?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s a heavy pouch and contains about
+113 gold pieces.
+
+ALL: Whoa!
+
+LAURA: Shakäste was fucking loaded!
+
+LIAM: One…
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez.
+
+LIAM: Two…
+
+TALIESIN: No long rest for you.
+
+LIAM: And then ten minutes later–
+
+MATT: There’s some dried jerky and hide in there,
+just for trail snacks. It seemed like a half road
+
+travel pack that Shakäste was keeping with him and
+whatever coin he had brought with him on the journey.
+
+LAURA: You stole an old blind man’s food and
+money.
+
+SAM: I am the best.
+
+LIAM: Did you say 113?
+
+MATT: 113.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so after counting it all, I separate
+it and I put some jerky down– go, have it– to
+
+Frumpkin, and I push 60 gold across the floor.
+Come here.
+
+SAM: Yes. Ow!
+
+TRAVIS: That was five of them.
+
+SAM: No, that’s good, because my muscles are sore
+from smiling before.
+
+MATT: It does help a little.
+
+SAM: Then I’m going to try to make acid while he
+was doing his thing.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an alchemy supplies check.
+Roll that plus your proficiency bonus and your
+
+intelligence.
+
+SAM: 19, plus things.
+
+MATT: It will take you through the night and part
+of the morning to do it. With a full night’s
+
+sleep– a full rest– if you start early enough in
+the night, by about noon tomorrow you’d be done.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: Throughout that, you manage to create a vial
+of acid.
+
+SAM: Awesome.
+
+LIAM: I have a question: the metal on the ring
+with the pearl in it, what is it made of? Can I tell?
+
+MATT: Looking at it, it looks like the base
+material for the pearl set in, it’s a polished brass
+
+that has been treated to look like gold, but some
+of that treatment is rubbing off and you can see
+
+the duller brass color beneath.
+
+LIAM: I cannot remember, but Caleb can because of
+Keen Mind. Brass: is that part of the alchemy that
+
+I can do?
+
+MATT: I will look. As far as your school of
+transmutation?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that is correct.
+
+SAM: You have copper and silver for sure.
+
+LIAM: Copper, silver, wood.
+
+SAM: Iron?
+
+LIAM: I just can’t remember if it is. Do we have a
+Player’s Handbook?
+
+MATT: Wood, stone, iron, copper, or silver.
+
+LIAM: Brass is not on it, okay. Then I’m going to
+spend the last 30 minutes before bed trying to
+
+slowly wedge the pearl out of the ring. I don’t
+want the ring.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a general strength check.
+
+LAURA: The pearl pops out and flies across
+the room, never to be found again.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? It doesn’t take you too long. Working on
+it back and forth you eventually have enough give
+
+where the four claws that hold the pearl into the
+ring set eventually give way and it pops out. It
+
+does hit the ground and roll and you quickly catch
+up to it and grab it.
+
+SAM: It’s bronze?
+
+LIAM: Brass.
+
+SAM: Brass, okay.
+
+LIAM: I take what’s left of the ring and I throw
+it across the room for Frumpkin to go chasing it across.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin just watches it land. (thunk,
+thunk)
+
+LIAM: Go chase that.
+
+MATT: (meows)
+
+TRAVIS: While everybody is going up to their
+rooms, can I stay down– are you staying down?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I’m going upstairs, I’m going to
+pass out on the floor.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll stay downstairs and do some
+people-watching. Call it character study.
+
+MATT: Okay, yeah. Looking about, at this point in
+the evening most of it is filtering out. The few
+
+stragglers there are the older folks, grizzled
+farmhands with sunburned skin, thick fingers that
+
+have seen a lot of field work, a lot of them
+reminiscing about days of old, some of them
+
+talking about some folks they know that were lost
+over the previous events, but they seem drunk
+
+enough to at least be smiling and laughing about
+these old stories they bring up. You continue to
+
+study these personalities, I imagine you’re
+probably taking in quirks, taking in elements of
+
+their body language, their vocal intonations for
+your own purposes.
+
+TRAVIS: Very well.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you all eventually close the
+evening, the morning sun comes to, with Nott
+
+sleeping in a little further after staying up late
+creating a vial of acid.
+
+TRAVIS: Please tell me she has bedhead.
+
+LAURA: One ear’s up.
+
+MATT: What do you guys want to do?
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester?
+
+LAURA: Hey, what?
+
+MARISHA: I want to show you something.
+
+LAURA: Okay, what?
+
+MARISHA: You know how I stole some shit from the
+Baumbauchs on our way out of town? Most of it’s
+
+boring shit, but I stayed up and I was trying to
+solve it and figure some of this stuff out. Take a
+
+look at this, what do you think?
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m really smart, so I’ll probably be
+able to figure it out. “Demedan, your request has
+
+"been approved and the toordolbo extract will be
+arriving in a case of rose wine from the Evening
+
+"Nip in the coming week. Many Gifts, The
+Gentleman.”
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) The Gentleman. Who’s the
+Gentleman?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, but I like your addition of
+“douche” to Demedan, I agree.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh, I wanted to put a reminder for
+myself.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, who specializes in a rosé? You’re
+right, that’s weird. Especially not the Baumbauchs.
+
+MARISHA: No, the Baumbauchs don’t make rosé.
+
+LAURA: No, they make, like, ale.
+
+MARISHA: You’re right. The place where I came
+from, you got– certain regions are going to make
+
+certain kinds of wines. That might tell us where
+it’s come from. And, what do you think– I think
+
+the “oblodoro” I think that’s a code.
+
+LAURA: “Toordolbo.”
+
+MARISHA: I think it’s bloodroot.
+
+LAURA: Oh, bloodroot, that’s good.
+
+MARISHA: That sounds like a thing, right?
+
+LAURA: What if it’s the “boltodoor?”
+
+MARISHA: That’s a possibility. I haven’t ruled
+anything out yet.
+
+LAURA: Bloodroot is probably pretty good, though.
+
+MARISHA: Do I know of bloodroot?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+MARISHA: Nature check.
+
+LAURA: Would I know bloodroot?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check. You both may make a
+nature check in this moment, in a strike of inspiration.
+
+LAURA: 20!
+
+MARISHA: Better than me. 13.
+
+MATT: Okay, you’ve heard it somewhere. Nothing
+big, but, like, bloodroot, I’ve heard of it. You
+
+know it. It’s a unique flower that is pretty in
+its own right, but you know it because the places
+
+where it’s used are usually fenced off in a way
+that children can’t get to them because they are
+
+known to be poisonous. Not to the point of death,
+but to the point of severe nausea and vomiting
+
+upon ingestion.
+
+LAURA: Oh, bloodroot. That’s right, it’s a type of
+flower, super-duper red. I know because I tried to
+
+make a paint out of one of the flowers one time and
+it made me want to like seriously puke my guts
+
+out. And do the spins, if you know what I mean.
+Super bad. That’s bad.
+
+MARISHA: And they’re wanting an extract, so–
+
+LAURA: That means it would be extra strong, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Are the Baumbauchs trying to poison
+people?!
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh! Well, the Gentleman wants to
+poison people. Oh, no, the Baumbauchs, yeah, I
+
+understand. Wow, do we need to tell someone about
+this?
+
+MARISHA: No. Just keep it in the back of your head
+if you hear something, if something spikes your interest–
+
+LAURA: If we hear about an outbreak of people
+vomiting–
+
+MARISHA: –or about a Gentleman.
+
+LAURA: Or about a rosé.
+
+MARISHA: And an Evening Nip.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I want to know about these evening
+nipples– evening nip.
+
+TRAVIS: There you go, Freudian slip.
+
+LAURA: In the coming week! That’s soon. When did
+you steal this?
+
+MARISHA: How many days has it been?
+
+MATT: It’s been probably, at this point, four
+days, would be my guess.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, what if we could intercept it?
+Then we could have all of the poison, and the nips.
+
+MARISHA: Interesting.
+
+LAURA: I like it.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s keep this– we’ll workshop it.
+
+LAURA: Let’s make a decision!
+
+MARISHA: You–
+
+LAURA: We just did it!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah we did, we definitely did.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, I’m really hungry, though, I’m going
+to go downstairs.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s get some food.
+
+MATT: You guys all wake up and get your breakfast
+situated and sorted, Nott joining you a little
+
+later on, but you are fed, the morning is fresh,
+what would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I guess it’s time to collect on
+those ears, right?
+
+LAURA: These ears.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, those ears.
+
+MATT: Asking around, you’re eventually led to
+where Bryce’s location is. Apparently they are in
+
+the process of going through paperwork in the Salt
+Trench Jail. That’s where the prisoners of
+
+Alfield, this podunk town, keep there imprisoned.
+Being led to this small but functional shack of
+
+stone and dried wood, eventually Bryce emerges,
+not fully armored, but they’re wearing comfortable
+
+robes with a bit of the ceremonial maroon and gold
+that a lot of the Crownsguard and members of that
+
+political faction seem to wear. As they emerge,
+you see Bryce’s face brighten up as they say,
+
+“You’re awake! Come, I’ve been able to gather
+enough pay for your deeds the other day. Please,
+
+"do step inside.” They lead you over to their desk.
+“How many set of ears have been procured?”
+
+LAURA: 19 sets.
+
+MATT: “19 sets?”
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Or 19 total?
+
+LAURA: No, it was 19 sets, I marked down sets.
+Technically Matt, I’m not telling Bryce this, five
+
+of those sets are hyenas. 14 of those are gnolls
+for sure.
+
+MATT: Bryce has a hard time telling the difference
+at the moment, having been overworked and stressed
+
+with the recent goings-on.
+
+LIAM: (whispering) We are assholes.
+
+MATT: Counting through, they finish each bit
+counted. “That comes to–” They pull up a small
+
+chest and begin to count out change into a large
+sack. Then that fills up into a secondary sack,
+
+into a third one, finishing with, “A total of 570
+gold pieces.”
+
+LAURA: We also brought home live people and also
+some dead people. We brought home seven dead bodies.
+
+MATT: “Seven dead bodies at five gold per seven,
+that will come to 35 gold pieces as well.” Which
+
+they fill out for you. “Then the live ones were
+how many?”
+
+LAURA: 25 gold a piece. How many live people did
+we bring back? I didn’t have those in jars.
+
+MARISHA: There were the two.
+
+SAM: Jules, Petrov, Herma–
+
+LIAM: I would remember exactly. I don’t, but I
+do.
+
+LAURA: That’s right I did write down Herma and
+Jules, Petrov.
+
+SAM: Then there was a couple that Shakäste had in
+the–
+
+LAURA: Oh wait!
+
+LIAM: Hold because if he knows he has to tell me
+because I picked the right feat for it.
+
+LAURA: Oh that’s right.
+
+MATT: There were five specifically that you
+managed to save actively from the tunnel. Shakäste
+
+had already saved an additional seven.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Damn!
+
+SAM: We’re fucking rich!
+
+LAURA: Wait, did anybody write down the amount
+that he said?
+
+MARISHA: 570 for the gnolls, 35 for the–
+
+LIAM: A hundred a piece already.
+
+MATT: And a fourth sack is presented as they
+count out 300-ish more gold pieces.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh! That’s so good!
+
+MATT: That’s a little over a hundred gold
+each.
+
+LAURA: That’s so great!
+
+MATT: Not bad, almost can afford a suit of armor.
+
+TRAVIS: A-Fjord?
+
+MATT: Don’t instigate it! You’ll regret it.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: 150 gold a piece!
+
+SAM: Are we going to divvy it up?
+
+LIAM: We are so excited over chump change to Vox
+Machina.
+
+MATT: After all the counting is done Bryce is
+writing down feverishly, “For my own ledgers,
+
+because I do have to present this paperwork to
+the crown for the approval of these rewards, what
+
+do we call you?”
+
+LAURA: We should have talked about this. What do
+you guys think?
+
+SAM: We’re very strong.
+
+LAURA: That’s true we are. We’re very strong.
+
+TALIESIN: We have to leave a paper trail, is that
+a thing that actually has to happen?
+
+LAURA: What if we’re The Strong?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re like the mighty.
+
+LAURA: The Mighty! That’s good!
+
+MARISHA: Hey there new guy, you know good words
+that like sound cool in Zemnian right?
+
+LIAM: We are The Mighty Nein.
+
+LAURA: Nein?
+
+MARISHA: Nein!
+
+MATT: The Mighty Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: I can buy that.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, why not? There’s one, two, three,
+four–
+
+LIAM: It’s just a spelling that is tricky.
+
+MATT: “Please, do spell it for me.”
+
+LIAM: Yeah ‘Mighty’ in Common is spelled M-I–
+
+TRAVIS: I will pull your beard off your face.
+
+LIAM: H–
+
+LAURA: Oh my god!
+
+LIAM: –T-Y.
+
+MATT: “Yes?”
+
+LIAM: Now we come to the next word. N-E-I-N.
+
+LIAM: We are The Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: “I feel like I was part of something crowd
+sourced similar to this.” I feel like I’ve been
+
+part of a game call “Mighty Number Nine.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Really?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It’s a game that I– It’s a Mega
+Man–
+
+LIAM: Nein, nein, nein.
+
+SAM: That’s the number nine.
+
+MATT: Yes, I know. Oh that game. Anyway!
+
+LIAM: Oh this game.
+
+MATT: “All right, The Mighty Nein, that is on
+the paperwork. Are you staying a while in Alfield then?
+
+LAURA: Are we staying here? I mean, do you want to
+keep hiring us for always?
+
+MATT: "I don’t have much in the way of work here
+for your type at the moment.”
+
+TRAVIS: You seem to be at peace with the current
+situation, I think it might be in our best
+
+interest that we moved on.
+
+TALIESIN: Passing through.
+
+MATT: “Whereabouts are you going?”
+
+LAURA: We’re going to Zadash.
+
+MATT: “Interesting, well that’s much larger for
+the tastes of most field folk out here. I lived
+
+there for about three years when I was younger, in
+the West Outersteads before joining the
+
+Crownsguard and shipping off to Bladegarden. If
+you are indeed off to Zadash and are in need of a
+
+friend, if she’s still there. Ask for Claudia
+Sheed at the Leaky Tap.
+
+LIAM: Sheet, did you say Sheet?
+
+MATT: "Claudia Sheed.”
+
+MARISHA: At the Leaky Tap?
+
+MATT: “At the Leaky Tap at the East Outersteads.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, I should ask you, is that like the big
+inn, the big place?
+
+MATT: “It is of moderate size.”
+
+LAURA: What would be the biggest inn in Zadash?
+Like the biggest place that if you go like, “Oh, I
+
+need to find the biggest inn in Zadash,” this is
+what it is?
+
+MATT: That would be the The Pillow Trove. That’s
+in Tri-Spires. I don’t know if you can afford
+
+that? I don’t know, maybe you can! I don’t know.“
+
+LAURA: I just need the most popular one, because
+that’s where my mom is going be sending me stuff.
+
+The Pillow Trove.
+
+MATT: "Good luck.”
+
+SAM: That’s where we’re staying?
+
+TALIESIN: No. That’s a fancy inn.
+
+LIAM: Was is pillow or pillar?
+
+MATT: “The Pillow Trove. But The Leaky Tap I
+recommend. Claudia’s great; she owns the place if
+
+she’s still there.”
+
+LAURA: Leaky Tap?
+
+MATT: Leaky Tap.
+
+MARISHA: Not Tavern, Tap.
+
+LIAM: Leaky Tap Tavern?
+
+MATT: “Certain, fine. She’s got a good head on her
+shoulders and at the very least she may be able to
+
+guide you to anything you’re looking for.
+Hopefully. Oh! I almost forgot, follow me please.”
+
+They stand up and close the ledger and lead you
+outside. About two blocks down by the outside of
+
+the stables, titled the On The Wind Stables. There
+you see outside a hardy looking female dragonborn.
+
+Rotund and strong, no tail, who is black scaled,
+turns around as you approach and gives a quick
+
+hand up to Bryce and Bryce approaches. “Ah, thank
+you Durmas. Everyone this is Durmas. She is the
+
+main stable hand here at the On The Wind. We’ve
+taken, as a bit of appreciation here, we’ve
+
+outfitted you with a new cart as the previous one
+was a bit– It had carried many of our dead, so
+
+Durmas.” And Durmas steps forth and says, “Great.
+I have presented for you this cart that we had
+
+made. It belonged to somebody here, but it is now
+yours. It is well made, it is larger than what you
+
+had previously and does not smell of blood and
+feces.”
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Yet!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Give us a day.
+
+MATT: “Very well.” She steps back and starts
+getting the two horses, one that you had brought
+
+along and the other that you had discovered out
+there. They’ve already been hitched to the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Have they had water?
+
+MATT: Fed and watered, cleaned, brushed.
+
+SAM: Is that enough horses? Should we be getting
+two more to pull us faster?
+
+TRAVIS: Two is pretty decent, I think.
+
+LAURA: Is it?
+
+SAM: For six?
+
+LAURA: You’re little.
+
+LIAM: Watchmaster, I’m sorry it slipped my mind.
+Is there anywhere still open in town after all of
+
+the carnage that sells inks and paper?
+
+MATT: “I’m sure that can be done. Yes, I can lend
+you some. I wish you’d told me back in the office.”
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, but I’m looking for the highest
+quality ink. Do you know what I mean?
+
+MATT: “I think I do, and I don’t know if this is
+the city to find that, unfortunately. You have
+
+much better luck in Zadash.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, thank you.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+LAURA: Before we leave, can you tell me where
+Starosta Kosh’s office is?
+
+MATT: You watch as they smile a bit based on your
+sudden interest and they say, “Why do you ask?”
+
+LAURA: Oh, we have some unfinished business.
+
+MATT: “Best that I summon him? But I can retrieve
+him.”
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+SAM: (whispering) Because he’s balls deep right
+now.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “I’ll be right back. We’ve taken–” And at
+that point you hear a slapping sound, you watch as
+
+Shumas the dragonborn, she’s taken the large
+manticore head. And is chained into the side and
+
+slammed it on to the side of the cart. You still
+have that.
+
+LIAM: Did you say her name was Shumas?
+
+MATT: Shumas– oh no! Durmas! Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Dermis is what I wrote down.
+
+MARISHA: I wrote down Dermis, yeah!
+
+MATT: No, Shumas is a region in Marquet, sorry. I
+have too much in my brain.
+
+TRAVIS: Du, Du mas! Du mas mich!
+
+LIAM: This is the best campaign ever!
+
+TALIESIN: I was trying so hard not to say it.
+
+MATT: We can slowly crash every song’s YouTube’s
+comments now.
+
+LIAM: I’m so sorry, Mr. DeAngelo, my high school
+German teacher! We’re going forward.
+
+MARISHA: My high school German teacher’s first
+language was Spanish. It was real weird.
+
+LIAM: What was their name?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t remember her name.
+
+LIAM: Okay, mine was Jim DeAngelo. He’s the
+principal now. I’m sure he’s very proud of me.
+
+MATT: As you guys are getting your stuff situated
+onto the cart, eventually you watch as four
+
+crownsguard approach along with Bryce and the
+small robed gnomish figure of Starosta Kosh.
+
+“Right, I’ve been summoned. What is your
+business?”
+
+LAURA: Yes. Hi! Starosta, it’s so wonderful to see
+you again.
+
+MATT: “I’ve been told that you did a great service
+for Alfield and for that I am very thankful.”
+
+LAURA: Yes. I was thinking a really good thing you
+could do for us in return is to give my friend
+
+Fjord here a letter of recommendation to the
+Academy.
+
+MATT: “What?”
+
+LAURA: He did a great service to your city.
+
+MATT: “And you have been paid handsomely for it.
+As the Watchmaster has notified me.”
+
+LAURA: Starosta, it’s good to see you again. It’s
+been a while, about, hold on. I get out my
+
+sketchbook and I look through it. Maybe like eight
+years almost? Your hair hasn’t changed though, you
+
+should change it.
+
+MATT: “I’m confused? This is strange, but no I
+believe that our business is complete.”
+
+LAURA: The Ruby of The Sea says hello.
+
+MATT: You watch as his face loses color. His hand
+drops to his side. “Um. I will be happy to write
+
+you a letter of recommendation, but I cannot
+assure you that it will be accepted as there are
+
+many points of acceptance within the Academy. And
+is quite a bit of travel to Rexxentrum anyway. Is
+
+this to the actual Soltryce?”
+
+LAURA: Of course.
+
+TRAVIS: If you wouldn’t mind, that would be most
+kind of you.
+
+MATT: “Very well, it will be done in just a
+moment. What is your name?”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+SAM: There’s a j in it.
+
+LAURA: Make sure he spells it right, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, F-J-O-R-D. Fjord.
+
+MATT: “Have you a surname?”
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+SAM: Tough.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Fuck you!
+
+(hysterical laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Just been sitting on that shit, haven’t
+you?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re not going to make it through all of
+them.
+
+MATT: Oh, I was keeping it together so well. Here,
+buddy.
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “I’ll return in the next 15 minutes.”
+Starosta turns and gives a long look of simmering
+
+fury behind a forced smile to Jester. Spins around
+then walks off in a haughty march to wherever he
+
+came from.
+
+LAURA: He really should have changed his hair, I
+mean it’s pretty hideous.
+
+TALIESIN: You may be my new hero.
+
+TRAVIS: How is it that you saw him before?
+
+LAURA: Oh, he visited my mother years ago.
+
+MARISHA: And your mother’s The Ruby of The Sea?
+
+LAURA: Yes, The Ruby of The Sea. You’ve heard of
+her?
+
+MARISHA: I have now. Have I heard of her?
+
+MATT: Make a history check.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I do that, too?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me. That’s a natural one.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t get a bonus, right?
+
+MATT: You actually wouldn’t have.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, no that’s fine. Oh, I wouldn’t
+have heard?
+
+MATT: No. It’s outside of the Empire.
+
+TRAVIS: 23 investigation?
+
+MATT: It’s history.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, history. 21.
+
+MATT: Okay. This makes sense for you since you
+grew up in the Menagerie Coast, though in Port
+
+Damali. The Ruby of the Sea is well known in some
+circles. You’ve only heard rumors. Belongs to an
+
+establishment that specializes in all forms of
+socializing, entertainment, and is one of the most
+
+prominent brothels in the Menagerie Coast, in
+which the Ruby of the Sea is known to be the star
+
+courtesan. Many travel all across the Menagerie
+Coast and beyond, supposedly, to be within her
+
+company. Many have fallen in love with her and had
+their hearts broken. There are poems and songs
+
+that have wandered through bars and taverns that
+spoke of her, that first caught your interest. It
+
+seems like a faint, distant tale that was just a
+myth that people made up or someone spoke of. Ruby
+
+of the Sea, it sounds amorphous.
+
+TRAVIS: Of course, I remember now. The Ruby of the
+Sea, I can’t believe she’s your mother.
+
+SAM: Is she a jeweler?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Not exactly. No, she entertains gentlemen.
+She’s hard to describe, a performer, an
+
+entertainer or–
+
+LAURA: Well, she’s mostly known for her
+hmm-hmm-hmm. Outside of that, her voice is
+
+amazing, you should hear her sing.
+
+LIAM: What does that mean?
+
+LAURA: What does what mean?
+
+LIAM: Hmm-hmm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: She has sex for money! Mostly, I mean,
+people pay her a large sum. It’s like three guys
+
+mostly, she keeps a few people at a time. She
+doesn’t see everybody because she’s super famous.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the name has made itself known all
+along the coast. You’d be lucky to find yourself
+
+in her company, at least how I’ve heard it.
+
+LAURA: You would, you really would.
+
+MARISHA: Is that what that song is about?
+
+LAURA: (singing) The Ruby of the Sea is the best
+lay ever!
+
+SAM: It’s a translation, I think.
+
+SAM and LIAM: It sounds better in the original
+Infernal.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Is the best lay ever, oh god.
+
+MARISHA: I’m so glad I set that up. No regrets.
+
+TRAVIS: The best lay ever.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: A well-known bar jingle all across
+Wildemount.
+
+SAM: It’s the whole song.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (singing) The Ruby of the Sea
+is the best lay ever!
+
+MATT: It’s more of a jingle than a song, really.
+
+LIAM: I’m picturing a public access infomercial.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) The Ruby of the Sea, the best
+lay ever!
+
+MATT: (singing) 800-588-Ruby of the Sea now!
+Today! Anyway.
+
+SAM: So you’re the daughter of a celebrity.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: How was that, growing up in fame and
+fortune?
+
+LAURA: Well, I wouldn’t know exactly, because she
+never told anybody that I was there. I bet if she
+
+had, it would’ve been crazy.
+
+LIAM: Then where were you at this point?
+
+LAURA: You know, in my room.
+
+SAM: Just trapped in your room?
+
+LAURA: Well, no I wasn’t trapped, but you know–
+
+LIAM: Did you get to go to the park, did she read
+you stories, did she do the things that parents do?
+
+LAURA: She read me some stories. And a lot of
+times I would listen at the door and hear her sing.
+
+MARISHA: Did she tell people about you?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+TRAVIS: I imagine that would affect her business a
+little.
+
+LAURA: Exactly. I totally understand, she loves me
+so much. She really, really does. It’s just, you
+
+know, people frown upon courtesans with daughters.
+
+TALIESIN: Very fair.
+
+LIAM: I am sorry, you are from the south, yeah?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+LIAM: I am from the north. Does this include also,
+besides the hmm-hmm-hmm, singing and poetry, you said?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: So she was skilled as an artisan as well.
+
+LAURA: Yes! That’s why I’m such a good painter.
+
+LIAM: That’s fascinating, for real.
+
+MARISHA: Did she teach you your spell and fighting
+talents?
+
+LAURA: Oh, no, that came from the Traveler.
+
+LIAM: How did you– never mind.
+
+TRAVIS: And this is why you’re looking for your
+dad?
+
+LAURA: Well, yes.
+
+SAM: Was he a client of your mother’s?
+
+LAURA: Well, yes. But– I feel so nervous all of a
+sudden, everybody’s looking at me.
+
+SAM: We can look away.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’ll– keep talking.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so they were totally in love and she
+was going to marry him, and he was totally in love
+
+with her and he was going to marry her, and they
+said they were going to get married, and then she
+
+got pregnant with me, and he said– they got
+married and he was going to go set up his house,
+
+and then he just never came back.
+
+SAM: That’s very sad.
+
+LAURA: I know, it is really sad.
+
+SAM: So are you going to find him to meet him and
+know him, or to seek revenge upon him?
+
+LAURA: No, I’m going to find him so that I have
+somewhere to live because I’m not allowed to be at
+
+the house anymore.
+
+SAM: Why aren’t you allowed to be at the house
+anymore?
+
+LAURA: Well, because I’m kind of in trouble in
+Nicodranas.
+
+SAM: What did you do?
+
+LAURA: Well, because I sort of played a prank on
+this guy who was seeing my mom.
+
+SAM: What kind of a prank?
+
+LAURA: Well– so the Traveler taught me how to
+make myself look like other people, right?
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: So, I made myself look like my mom, and
+then I lured him out onto our balcony and he was
+
+wearing nothing but this girdle of hers. And then
+I locked the door. And I thought that was funny,
+
+you know?
+
+SAM: That is funny–
+
+LAURA: It looked really good in my sketchbook.
+
+SAM: So he was just out there in a girdle.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, which is no big deal. But then I
+found out he’s a lord.
+
+SAM: And you embarrassed him?
+
+LAURA: He was really pissed off.
+
+LIAM: Was it nighttime or daytime?
+
+LAURA: It was in the day.
+
+MARISHA: How many people saw?
+
+LAURA: Oh, everyone!
+
+MARISHA: That’s so great!
+
+LAURA: It was so great. But he said he wanted to
+kill me and they said–
+
+MARISHA: That’s not great.
+
+LAURA: –that was cool and he could. So my mom was
+like, “Go!” and I was like, “Okay.”
+
+SAM: What was his name, so we can avoid him?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Or not avoid him.
+
+LAURA: Lord something something.
+
+SAM: Let’s avoid all Lords.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right with that.
+
+LAURA: Lord Robert something something.
+
+SAM: Robert.
+
+LAURA: I’ll remember it eventually.
+
+LIAM: Funny is funny. He should have a better
+sense of humor.
+
+LAURA: I thought so, too! He looked really good.
+
+MARISHA: What’s wrong with being in a girdle?
+
+LAURA: I know, right?
+
+MARISHA: Very waist cinching. Skirt.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m wearing one right now.
+
+SAM: I bet you are!
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m not. I’m actually just built
+this way. I could be, I’m built like I am.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty crazy. So you think you can
+actually– hang on, why do you want to live with
+
+your dad that you never met? Why not just go do
+your own thing?
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean–
+
+LIAM: Your father is your father, how could you
+not be curious about your father?
+
+LAURA: I know, right? I mean, I’ve never met him,
+I thought it would be cool. That’s who I was
+
+looking for when I met Fjord, over there.
+
+MARISHA: Sometimes fathers are disappointing.
+
+LIAM: But it is still your right to know your
+parents. Who they are, you have to understand
+
+where you came from.
+
+LAURA: I mean, he’s supposed to be pretty darn
+cool. He wears lots of rings on his fingers too,
+
+you guys!
+
+SAM: Do you know his name?
+
+MATT: “Ahem!” You look and see that the
+Crownsguard are approaching. And there’s the
+
+Starosta Kosh there with a rolled up piece of
+parchment which he presents with a broad smile.
+
+“As you requested.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you, kind sir.
+
+MATT: “Of course, it’s everything I can do. Now,
+be on your way.”
+
+LAURA: Fjord, it’s your letter.
+
+MATT: “Go! Please.”
+
+LAURA: Bye.
+
+MATT: He huffs off, they all begin to leave as you
+guys go to your cart. The Watchmaster comes up one
+
+last time and they say, “Sincerely, you’ve saved
+many lives and… A paltry sum I could get
+
+approved, but know that you have my gratitude.
+
+LAURA: Thank you, Bryce.
+
+MATT: "Of course. Good luck to you. I hope our
+paths cross again.”
+
+LAURA: Me too. If you see a girl named Yasha, let
+her know we are on our way to Zadash.
+
+SAM: She’s tall.
+
+MATT: “Yasha?”
+
+SAM: Yasha. She carries flowers.
+
+LAURA: She’s super scary looking, but she’s got a
+heart of gold.
+
+TALIESIN: Extremely charming.
+
+MARISHA: Very in shape.
+
+MATT: “I’ll try my best.”
+
+SAM: Black chin.
+
+TALIESIN: Wearing a girdle.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+LIAM: What are you talking about, the bouncer?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, she makes her way back every now and
+then.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, Yasha said she was going to catch up
+with us, I believe her.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, plus she looks like she can handle
+herself in a fight. She’d be most welcome.
+
+TALIESIN: She can.
+
+LAURA: Do you want to hold on to your letter,
+Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I would love that, thank you,
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome, of course. I told you I
+would get you to the Academy.
+
+MARISHA: That was smooth. I’m into it.
+
+TALIESIN: I forgot to say this is the most
+pleasant experience I’ve ever had at a city
+
+building before. I could get used to this.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the hero worship is kind of nice.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, right?
+
+SAM: Are we sure we want to leave this place?
+People like us here.
+
+LAURA: It’s only a matter of time before they
+don’t.
+
+LIAM: We have to go.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like you were born in the circus.
+I’m so impressed.
+
+MARISHA: It’s so true. Yeah, let’s leave while
+we’re on a high note.
+
+LIAM: We want to find a bigger city to disappear
+into.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have kids?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Insight check.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: 20.
+
+MATT: 20? Seems, straight and narrow.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Did you have kids?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: Insight check. 14.
+
+MATT: Hard to read, but it seems to be fairly
+forthright.
+
+MARISHA: You just have some paternal qualities.
+Just you know–
+
+LIAM: You know I think maybe you are confusing my
+good friend and I. You know, she’s very little,
+
+and I am taller. So, it does have that sort of
+father-daughter look, but you know well, that’s
+
+not exactly what it is.
+
+SAM: No, no, no. I’m a goblin.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. You know if anything– I’ve never
+really said this out loud before, but if anything
+
+you’re more like a Schwester, a little sister to
+me.
+
+SAM: That’s nice.
+
+LAURA: How old are you, Nott? Are you a little
+goblin? Or are you a normal adult goblin?
+
+SAM: Well, you know, the funny things about
+goblins is we don’t really celebrate birthdays or
+
+anything so it’s hard for me to know exactly.
+There’s no real holidays in clans.
+
+LAURA: Are you fully grown or are you still
+growing?
+
+SAM: I’m of child bearing age. So I’m about
+somewhere between six and nine.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: What is today?
+
+SAM: So that’s like a grown– almost grown
+goblin.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but like I said is really hard for me
+to tell. It’s not like we had a party every year.
+
+TALIESIN: Birthdays are shite.
+
+LIAM: What is today in this world, DM?
+
+MATT: As far as the date?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Are you okay?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you have one of those sneezes that
+actually break something?
+
+TRAVIS: You know when you sneeze and turn, and
+pulls the rib out.
+
+MARISHA: I think I just pulled a rib.
+
+MATT: I have to go and look that up.
+
+LIAM: Well I will tell you, we’ll get to that, but
+I think today we call your birthday.
+
+SAM: Today we’re calling my birthday?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you know, we never talked about that.
+I didn’t realize that, so today is your
+
+Geburtstag, today is your birthday.
+
+LAURA: Today is your birthday, Nott?
+
+SAM: Apparently. What day is it?
+
+LIAM: He doesn’t know. He will tell us later.
+
+SAM: All right. Well for right now, let’s say it’s
+Thursday.
+
+LIAM: Every year on a Thursday it is your
+birthday.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: Happy birthday.
+
+TRAVIS: Congratulations, Nott.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: This is a very special occasion.
+
+SAM: Do you know a birthday song too?
+
+LAURA: No. I’m sorry. But I do have this pickle in
+my bag.
+
+SAM: (screams) Is it old?
+
+LAURA: It was sitting in the jar and I put it in
+my bag because we put the ears in here.
+
+LIAM: Congratulations, today you are a mighty
+nine.
+
+MATT: It is the 12th of Fessuran.
+
+LAURA: Oh yes, Fessuran.
+
+MATT: It’s getting towards the start of fall.
+
+SAM: It’s already Fessuran!? It feels like
+“Huvnufn.”
+
+LIAM: The pumpkin lattes have come out…
+
+SAM: Well, thank you, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Well I didn’t do anything, you got me a pile
+of gold, so thank you.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: (coughing)
+
+SAM: Oh, sorry, we’ll leave now.
+
+MATT: On the other side there is Durmas leaning on
+one of the horses. “All right, so, your horses are
+
+ready, your cart is ready.”
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: We should go.
+
+MATT: “You should probably go.”
+
+LAURA: Let’s go.
+
+MATT: All right. Durmas gets behind and pushes the
+cart out as the horses clomp out. “My business is
+
+paid, good luck.” She goes back into the stable
+and goes about her work.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh the open road.
+
+LAURA: Back on the road again.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s crisp out.
+
+LAURA: I like it. Who is going to be driving this
+thing?
+
+TALIESIN: I could drive this thing.
+
+SAM: I tried it last time, maybe I’ll try again
+this time.
+
+TRAVIS: I like it.
+
+MATT: Animal handling check.
+
+SAM: Animal handling?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: 19!
+
+LAURA: Oh, hey we’re getting better!
+
+TALIESIN: With an 18 bonus.
+
+MATT: A slight flick of the reins watching your
+various allies previously travel with a
+
+controlled snap, the horses lurch and (clopping).
+
+SAM: Yeehaw!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That was a good one.
+
+MATT: With that, you guys make yourselves westward
+through the central streets of Alfield. A few folks
+
+come out and watch you leave, those who were
+present for the evening, and with a final silent
+
+nod and smile you make your way back onto the
+Amber Road heading northward deep into the Marrow
+
+Valley on your way to Zadash. And we’re going to
+take a break there.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Yay!
+
+LIAM: Come on in!
+
+LAURA: Marisha is broken!
+
+LIAM: Come on broken McGee.
+
+TRAVIS: You fucking busted a rib did you?
+
+MATT: Yeah, she did. She was coughing too hard the
+week before last.
+
+LAURA: Are you okay?
+
+MATT: How are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you pulled it. Want me to get it?
+
+MARISHA: There’s shit cracking. Something popped.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, when you sneezed and you turned and
+lean away from it, boy.
+
+MARISHA: I was trying to defend the table.
+
+LIAM: You’ve got to Lethal Weapon that shit.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take some Advil.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you go do that. I’m going to take care
+of my wife here in a minute. All right guys, we’ll
+
+be back here in a little bit from the break
+continuing the story as they head to the open
+
+road, heading northward towards Zadash on the
+Amber Road. We have our contest from Wyrmwood this
+
+week, they’re giving away two more of their
+awesome Kickstarter boxes. This is–
+
+LIAM: Oh shit, look at that.
+
+MATT: Those who haven’t see it. Get the fuck out
+of this thing. There it is! It is their awesome–
+
+what is this called? Is this the–
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the–
+
+LIAM and LAURA: Tamarind.
+
+MATT: Freaking awesome, here comes the dice box,
+and then it has this case which has inside of it
+
+dice, pen–
+
+LAURA: Look at that pen.
+
+MATT: It’s freaking great. A little section there
+for keeping a mini or whatever else you want to
+
+put in there, we’re giving away two of these at
+the break so be prepared. Through a
+
+misunderstanding, you don’t have to wait for a
+prompt, as soon as we go to break you can enter in
+
+the chat. So I apologize if I’ve been fucking with
+people, that’s on me, that’s my fault. For this
+
+week, the keyword is Gates, G-A-T-E-S, so when we
+go to the break enter the Twitch chat room. You
+
+can only enter it once, if you enter it more than
+once you’ll be disqualified. I’ll have two winners
+
+for you who will win two of this delightful things
+from my friends at Wyrmwood Gaming when we return.
+
+See you in just a minute.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome back. Before we
+hop back in, the two winners of the Wyrmwood
+
+giveaway are Jevons and Nicholas Fernandez. Jevons
+and Nicholas Fernandez, congratulations, you guys
+
+won. Danoba will contact you and get your
+information so we can get that sent out to you, so
+
+congrats. All right, everyone seems ready and
+iced.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh?
+
+TRAVIS: Stay frosty.
+
+LIAM: Stop!
+
+MARISHA: Don’t make me laugh!
+
+TRAVIS: She shouldn’t laugh at that.
+
+MARISHA: This is some bullshit.
+
+TRAVIS: A rib will be pulled when you turn and
+sneeze.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Don’t turn and sneeze!
+
+MARISHA: Therapeutic D&D right now.
+
+MATT: Exactly. Speaking of which, guys. You’ve
+begun your trek northward back on the Amber Road,
+
+passing through the high grass fields, the rolling
+hills. The sky grows more cloudy, and as the day
+
+progresses, uneventful, three horses carrying
+crownsguard are patrolling down the Amber Road and
+
+pass by, and watch them nod as they continue on.
+As you continue down, for the remainder of the
+
+day– you guys probably left around noon. Eight
+hours of travel, would say is a standard travel
+
+day for a horse, so that’ll be just past sunset.
+
+LAURA: Well, Nott slept in until noon, so we
+probably left a couple of hours after that.
+
+MATT: That’s true. So you get back a little bit on
+the travel. Not too bad. Continuing on, you hit
+
+sunset, and your horse could go for a few more
+hours. Do you wish to continue to travel in the
+
+night? Follow the road?
+
+LIAM: No, why would we be ambitious like that?
+We’re not in a hurry.
+
+LAURA: Is there a good place to make shelter?
+
+TALIESIN: I’d say we pull off if we see something
+really nice.
+
+MATT: Right as the sky begins to grow dark enough
+to threaten vision for distant vision, at least.
+
+You use darkvision, you have a closer proximity.
+
+MARISHA: I put on my goggles way too early. I’m
+super stoked about them.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I’m just seeing you at Burning Man.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, totally! 100 percent! That’s kind
+of how I imagined them is Burner goggles.
+
+MATT: The sky is as dark and the distance is as
+hard to see. But nearby, there’s some decent
+
+shapes and outlines.
+
+LIAM: Ferris Bueller, all the time.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry. Don’t laugh.
+
+MATT: “Are you in here for drugs?” “No. What are
+you in for?” “Drugs.” You don’t see any landmarks
+
+that would gather your attention to be a place to
+stay or stop at or rest for the evening. Your best
+
+plans would be to look for something not far off
+the road in the natural environment to make camp.
+
+Who is helming that expedition?
+
+LAURA: I’ll help him.
+
+MATT: Both you guys roll perception.
+
+LAURA: Did you roll good?
+
+TALIESIN: I did! 19! Thank you, Gil.
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+MATT: Okay. You find a small clearing that looks
+to be a handful of rocks that were partially
+
+lodged into the ground long ago that have since
+been overgrown with moss and grass. But there is a
+
+bit a small opening where it looks to be the
+remains of charcoal. A fire has once, or many
+
+times, been built and then put out there. So it
+looks like a standard place where people have set
+
+up camp while making their trips up and down the
+Amber Road. Easy enough to do. So you guys set up
+
+for the evening? You gather yourselves around,
+build a small fire.
+
+LAURA: You should use your glove and make a fire
+for us.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, right before the day goes?
+
+LAURA: Well. Unless something attacks us again.
+
+LIAM: If you are going to do that, we all need to
+stand 50 feet back.
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+LIAM: Because it’s not a little (fut fut). It’s a
+big one.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. Never mind then. Who has a (fut
+fut)?
+
+LIAM: I have a (fut fut).
+
+LAURA: Okay, then do it.
+
+LIAM: (fire burning)
+
+MATT: It doesn’t make much of a (fut fut), much to
+your disappointment. But a fire is built. You all
+
+begin to bed down for the evening, and who’s
+taking first watch?
+
+LIAM: I am.
+
+MATT: Okay. You can break it up between, probably
+let’s say, three watches over a casual evening.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take the second.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the last.
+
+MATT: Perception check from you, please.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. Ten.
+
+MATT: Okay. An uneventful evening continues for
+you. You trade off to Fjord. Fjord, make a
+
+perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MATT: Your mighty nine allows you to keep an eye
+out as the dark perimeter seems to bring no shapes
+
+or movements of interest other than the occasional
+sound of the wind blowing through the fields and
+
+the distant dark. Then your watch is up.
+Beauregard, perception check, please.
+
+MARISHA: Seven.
+
+LAUDA: Oh god!
+
+LIAM: It’s gotten lower and lower.
+
+MATT: Keeping an eye out, best you can, the sleep
+takes you eventually and you end up cheating on
+
+the last few hours of your watch. Nevertheless,
+you all come to consciousness in the morning
+
+intact and fine. You begin your way further on the
+road for a second day. Now, who’s guiding the– I
+
+would say more of who’s keeping a perimeter watch
+during the next day’s journey?
+
+TRAVIS: I will.
+
+LAURA: I’ll help.
+
+MATT: All right. So one of you two, we’ll say
+that’s the case, make a perception check with
+
+advantage because of Jester’s aiding.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you, Jester.
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh jeez, that’s terrible. Nine!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Keeping with the theme of the name, I
+guess.
+
+TALIESIN: For the record, we’re hiding all of our
+valuables. If that’s okay. Making sure everything
+
+is stowed. I would assume we’re hiding all of–
+
+LAURA: You know how to do that because you’re on
+the road a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I know how.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s even worse!
+
+MARISHA: We did scoop up those chains, right? We
+put those in the wagon?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, of course!
+
+MATT: Yeah, those are still with you.
+
+LIAM: The shitty manacles?
+
+LAURA: Yeah! That we’ll sell to a blacksmith.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, excellent.
+
+MARISHA: Metal’s valuable, man.
+
+LAURA: Along with this giant sledgehammer!
+
+LIAM: That is a glaive.
+
+LAURA: No, I have a sledgehammer too.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s right! You also picked up a
+sledgehammer, yeah. Sledge!
+
+MATT: Continuing on for the rest of the day,
+eventually you pass by a small travel wagon. It’s
+
+similar to the size of the cart that you have, but
+it has some cushioned seats set up in the back.
+
+You look towards three, well dressed individuals
+that are looking miserable. They’re sitting in the
+
+back of the cart as it rides by with a single
+coachman whose single horse is pulling it along
+
+with a rather rapid pace. You watch as they begin
+to approach, the few bumps that hit the road are
+
+hitting them relatively hard because of the pace
+of which they’re keeping. Some of them kind of get
+
+flung up, and you watch their hair get mussed and
+they quickly put it back into place.
+
+MARISHA: What kind of cargo does it look like they
+have?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: I want to draw a sketch of them in a little
+pan popping like popcorn.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: As she’s doing that, I’m trying to get
+Jester’s attention. I’m like: Jester! Jester!
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+MARISHA: 13. (whispers) The Gentlemen.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) The Gentlemen.
+
+MATT: The best you can tell, the cargo within are
+personal bags. There’s nothing of what looks to be
+
+cargo cargo, at least what you have seen in
+previous bits of people that have traveled down
+
+here. Especially the trade caravan you passed on
+your way up to Alfield. This looks to be more of a
+
+personnel-based journey. They pass glaring as they
+look at your colorful variety of individuals.
+
+LAURA: Are they going the opposite direction than
+us?
+
+MATT: Yeah, heading south.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Should I ask if they’re the
+Gentlemen? (shouting) Good to see you, Gentlemen!
+
+MARISHA: Gentlemen. Do any of them look–
+
+SAM: Like a gentleman?
+
+MARISHA: Like a gentleman.
+
+MATT: I mean, they’re well-dressed. They look to
+be of bourgeois class. Not upper crust, but better
+
+than most you’ve encountered on this side of the
+Empire at least. And they seem to almost– aside
+
+from glaring as you pass– pay no mind to any of
+your verbiage beyond, you motherfuckers.
+
+MARISHA: I think they thought we were patronizing
+them.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Yeah. Probably.
+
+MARISHA: We kind of were, though.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, kind of.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LIAM: It worked. Never mind.
+
+MATT: All right. Continuing on for the remainder
+of the day, seeing nothing else that catches your
+
+eye along the journey, eventually the night comes
+to a close once more. You guys have pretty much
+
+hit the extent of your horses’ energy for the day’s
+travel right as the sun begins to set. So you can
+
+pull off and make another camp for this evening.
+
+LAURA: We find a good place?
+
+MATT: Who’s helming that one?
+
+LAURA: I mean, we did such a good job last time.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, let’s do it again.
+
+MATT: Go for it!
+
+LAURA: Oh no, that is bad.
+
+TALIESIN: This is perception?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MATT: Not too– ooh, not good for you. That’s
+fine. Easy enough, you find–
+
+LAURA: I find grass!
+
+MATT: You find, maybe a few hundred feet off of
+the eastern side of the Amber Road, a small dip in
+
+the ground. It looks like an area where the earth
+seems to sink almost a bit. This crucible-type
+
+look for maybe 60 or so feet. There in the center,
+you see another well-used stop along the way.
+
+There’s some discarded, empty scraps of sack. You
+can see a couple of small stone rings where fires
+
+were previously set. There’s a lot of travel on
+this road, and so it’s not too difficult, if
+
+you’re keeping an eye out for a while, to find
+some place that’s been used over time as a place
+
+to rest for the evening. So you set up camp there
+without an issue.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Set up again.
+
+LAURA: Do we put an alarm around us in case?
+
+LIAM: I do that every night.
+
+LAURA: Oh! Wonderful.
+
+LIAM: It’s just a given.
+
+LAURA: Nice.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a griffin.
+
+LIAM: A gif-in.
+
+LAURA: Should we three take watch since those
+three took watch last time?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s only fair!
+
+SAM: Yes, that sounds good.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take watch number one!
+
+SAM: I’ll take number two!
+
+LAURA: I’ll take number three!
+
+LIAM: Yes, DM, I would like to say that, too. If
+we’re ever camping outside, just because Liam is a
+
+dumb fuck and will forget it. Every night, Caleb
+does silver thread around the group.
+
+MATT: Right. For a 20-foot cube.
+
+LIAM: Okay. That’s around us, yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. So after setting up your alarm–
+
+LIAM: (singing) It’s murder time in the campaign.
+
+MATT: As you complete your set up for the evening,
+make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Six.
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck?! We can’t roll perception
+for shit.
+
+TALIESIN: I shouldn’t have touched this die. This
+die has been nothing but trouble.
+
+MATT: Okay. You are sitting back for a minute ,
+the fire crackling to a very diminutive ember.
+
+There’s just a bit of light slowly flickering off,
+framing the outer shapes of your various sleeping
+
+friends and companions. You don’t hear the
+snapping of twigs because it’s subtle enough. A
+
+brief tickle hits the back of your head, Caleb, as
+the thread perimeter is broken.
+
+LIAM: Nein, nein! Up. Up!
+
+MATT: As that happens, a voice goes, “I wouldn’t
+do that if I were you!” At which point, you
+
+immediately whip around and you guys see, in the
+vicinity, standing directly around where you’re
+
+sleeping, you see nine figures.
+
+MARISHA: Nine! Are they mightier than us, though?
+
+MATT: This number coming up is so creepy, you
+guys. They all look humanoid– some variation to
+
+height, but most of them seem to be standard human
+size. Various degrees of patchwork: hide armors,
+
+some leathers, a lot of what seems to be cobbled
+together and scrapped to build some sort of
+
+defense. You see a uniform mismatch of green,
+blues, and black cloths that are covering most of
+
+the faces. And hoods.
+
+MARISHA: Green and black? That’s weird.
+
+MATT: One’s green. One’s blue. Couple of black.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, we’re fighting the Ninja
+Turtles!
+
+SAM: That’d be purple, blue, and orange.
+
+MATT: Yeah, completely different thing. As you all
+begin to come to conscious and look around, you
+
+can see some of them have hand crossbows that
+they’re holding out in front. Two of them have
+
+heavy crossbows that are currently being held with
+two hands that are all locked in. There are a few
+
+of them that have shortswords drawn, one in each
+hand. They’re all threatening, but not raring to
+
+leap. The one that had spoken out against that,
+who’s right behind you, Molly. With his boot,
+
+presses it against the blade of one of your
+scimitars, and says, “I would recommend you just
+
+take a step away from that.” You feel this very
+sharp point of a nocked crossbow bolt that taps
+
+the back of your skull.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you’re so polite. How could I
+refuse? I just get up. I’m not turning around.
+
+Both my scimitars or just one of them?
+
+MATT: They’re both set in your usual, placed
+wrapping. Your ceremonial set before you go to bed
+
+at night.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just going to walk to the cart,
+then.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, do they have them?
+
+MATT: He’s stepping on them right now.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m walking to the cart.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you begin to walk towards the cart,
+which is breaking the perimeter of their holding,
+
+the ones on that side go (disapproving sounds).
+The one who spoke up before just goes, “All right.
+
+No big moves. No trouble wanted. Get your friends
+up. Place your valuables onto that cart for us,
+
+you have hitched over there. And we’ll leave you
+with your life. No worries– ”
+
+LIAM: I would like to cast Friends on that
+gentleman.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+LIAM: Ah, that’s very low. That is a five.
+
+MATT: As soon as you begin to– and, correct me if
+I’m wrong. Friends– actually, let me see here.
+
+Friends is– no! It’s–
+
+LIAM: Somatic and material. All I did was just do
+this with my thumb and I put a little bit of rouge
+
+on my cheek.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yeah, so your charisma checks. The
+spell seems to take an effect.
+
+LIAM: You’ll have to be careful. We are going for
+help. Medical help. We all have syphilis.
+
+Extreme syphilis.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Extreme.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, brilliant!
+
+LIAM: Is this with advantage, right? That’s the
+effect of the spell.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it gives you advantage. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Oh yeah.
+
+SAM: Ah, that’s some good syphilis.
+
+LIAM: That is a 22.
+
+TRAVIS: Cauliflower crotch, baby.
+
+LIAM: 22. We are riddled with it.
+
+MATT: You watch as one of the eyes over the face
+scarf closes and twitches. He goes, “Right, good
+
+to know. Then–”
+
+(Liam sneezes loudly)
+
+MATT: “I suppose we’re going to be leaving you
+unspoiled.”
+
+SAM: I’ll stand up and go next to Caleb, and say:
+Honey, did you tell them about our disease?
+
+LIAM: Oh, it’s so much worse! Pity on us, please.
+We are just trying to get medical help.
+
+MATT: “Then I suggest you all just get down on
+your knees and stay where you are. We’re just
+
+going to take your cart and what’s inside of it.”
+
+LIAM: What was that?
+
+MATT: Take the cart and what’s inside of it. They
+all begin to shift slowly, all keeping their
+
+weapons drawn, begin to move over towards the
+cart. One of them hops up into the back and begins
+
+rummaging through the stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: I wouldn’t touch that. That might, ooh.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no, that’s where we got our syphilis
+from!
+
+TALIESIN: There’s a severed head in there.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, look out for that manticore head.
+They’re diseased.
+
+MATT: At which point, one of them pull over a
+cloth. He goes, “Jesus Chri–” They all turn
+
+around, weapons drawn again like, “What the fuck
+are these people doing?”
+
+LIAM: No, we might have tried a few things with
+that head, but, you know, we’ve paid the price.
+
+Clearly we have suffered enough!
+
+MATT: Looks over to Fjord.
+
+LAURA: He’s just laughing.
+
+MATT: “You also infected?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I mean, the amount of contact we have had,
+there is no question. You have to go. (dying noises)
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+LIAM: It’s not as good.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, come on.
+
+LAURA: Do you get advantage? Because he’s a
+friend?
+
+LIAM: On this, for with my Friends?
+
+MATT: This would be the very tail end of your
+Friends spell.
+
+LIAM: Is it the same guy?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Do it.
+
+LIAM: It’s better. It’s 13.
+
+MARISHA: Syphilis is intimidating, though.
+
+MATT: He looks to the rest of the guys. “I don’t
+know…” There’s a moment where the spell comes to
+
+an end and he goes, “Clever motherfucker.”
+
+MARISHA: Fuck their shit up!
+
+LIAM: Scorching Rays on that guy!
+
+LAURA: Spiritual Weapon!
+
+MARISHA: Fucking punch him in the face!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going in the cart.
+
+MATT: Okay! Okay. Well, they had weapons drawn and
+were prepared for something.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: This is all going to happen simultaneously.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: You’re attacking. What are you doing?
+
+LAURA: The guy that’s been talking.
+
+MATT: Okay. Scorching Ray to the guy who’s been
+talking as well?
+
+LIAM: Say again?
+
+MATT: Scorching Ray to the guy who’s been talking
+as well?
+
+LIAM: On the guy I put Friends on, yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Dodge and pick up my weapons.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just trying to wait for the first
+crossbow bolt, and I’m going to hit them with a
+
+Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, and I’m looking for the first
+crossbow bolt that’s going to go towards one of my
+
+friends and try and deflect it.
+
+MATT: Who are you going to get in front of?
+
+MARISHA: Am I near Caleb? Who am I near?
+
+MATT: You’re all in a clustered circle; you’re in
+your camp. Except for Molly, who’s–
+
+MARISHA: I’ll protect Caleb. He just pissed them
+off.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. I’m firing. Yes. As well.
+
+MATT: Okay. Towards the main guy?
+
+TRAVIS: No, another one.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make your attack rolls,
+please.
+
+LAURA: Giant purple lollipop.
+
+MATT: Oh, you’re doing Spiritual Weapon.
+
+MARISHA: You busted out the lollipop?
+
+LAURA: I did.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: (sings) Lollipop, lollipop, ooh
+lolli-lolli-lolli, lollipop, lollipop–
+
+LAURA: Oh god, you guys, keys.
+
+(cheek popping)
+
+LIAM and MATT and TALIESIN and TRAVIS: (singing
+deeply) Bum bum bum.
+
+LAURA: Is it plus five? I forget.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: It should say.
+
+LAURA: Okay, yeah, 15.
+
+MATT: 15? That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Caleb, make your attacks for the Scorching
+Ray.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s an 18 to hit.
+
+MATT: Yes. The first one.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Oh, the first one, right! It’s three.
+
+MATT: Multiple rays.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I forget. Sorry, it’s a brand new
+spell.
+
+LAURA: Seven points of damage.
+
+LIAM: Second one is a 24.
+
+MATT: Hits.
+
+LIAM: And the third one is a natural 20.
+
+MATT: All three hit.
+
+LIAM: Okay. The first is a 11, 12, 13, damn it.
+Ja.
+
+MARISHA: Is that a natural 20 on the–
+
+LIAM: (Gasps) 37. Total.
+
+LAURA: What!?
+
+MATT: 37 points of damage?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: All on one guy?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: It was three things of flame go shooting–
+Because I did this. (fire noises)
+
+SAM: Ooh, that’s Vax numbers.
+
+MATT: Immediately as that ray is released. That’s
+a 16 to hit?
+
+TRAVIS: (German accent) The fire starter!
+
+MATT: 21 to hit.
+
+LIAM: Oh, they’re attacking me?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: They all hit.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Duraflame, come on.
+
+MATT: That’s a 19 to hit.
+
+LIAM: All three hit.
+
+MATT: And a 12 to hit.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: All at you?
+
+LIAM: As the flames go out, these come in.
+
+MATT: As the flames escape, four crossbow bolts:
+two of them are heavy, and two of them are light crossbow.
+
+MARISHA: I was holding my action for that crossbow
+bolt. For one at him.
+
+MATT: Correct. You went to intercede. I’ll allow
+you to take the hit on that one then. The damage
+
+goes through to you automatically.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I Blood Maledict one of them, or
+no?
+
+MATT: I’ll allow you to do one of them.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: Well, technically I already made the attack
+rolls, and you didn’t say that.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, okay. Never mind.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. That would have been seven
+points of piercing damage.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s a nine, plus seven.
+
+MATT: You catch one right before it hits Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: Can I go ahead and burn a ki to go back?
+
+MATT: You can!
+
+MARISHA: Bam. Doing that shit.
+
+MATT: That is a d10, plus your dexterity
+modifier.
+
+MARISHA: d10 plus my dex– d10?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It’s a heavy crossbow.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, in terms of damage.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. Yes.
+
+MATT: Well, you still have to roll to hit, right?
+You have to roll to hit back, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I think I do, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You’re considered proficient, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a 15 naturally.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits.
+
+MARISHA: And then, so d10. Fuck. That’s a fucking
+one. Five points of damage. That’s lame.
+
+MATT: Okay. Caleb you do suffer from the bolts
+that do make it through to you. 19 points of
+
+piercing damage.
+
+LIAM: I have 19 hit points.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it. If I would’ve rolled one fucking
+higher.
+
+MATT: (rapid thudding)
+
+LIAM: (groans and coughs) Syphilis.
+
+MATT: The last thing you watch is the leader,
+who’d been talking with you, gets slammed up in
+
+the air about two feet with an uppercut from a
+mystical lollipop, and then all the rays
+
+incinerate him into ash in midair. He is scattered
+to ash. One of the other guys gets hit with his
+
+own bolt. Another guy goes blind. What are you
+doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I was Eldritch Blasting him.
+
+MATT: Against which guy?
+
+TRAVIS: Just any of them.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: 19 to hit.
+
+MATT: 19 to hit works. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: He gets a blast to the side of the face and
+goes down unconscious onto the ground. His
+
+crossbow fires wide into the air, and disappears
+into the night sky. As soon as this happens, as
+
+you fall unconscious, all these hits happen like
+this Mexican standoff that just suddenly– All
+
+this action happens at once. Caleb goes down! Two
+other guys double over! Two of them go, “Wait,
+
+wait! Hold on! Hold on!”
+
+TALIESIN: I pop out of the cart, and I’m holding
+the giant glaive.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I light it up.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, the sucker’s just spinning in the
+air.
+
+MATT: All of a sudden, as the sucker’s spinning,
+and you watch as this bright burst of radiant
+
+energy’s crackling on the edge of this
+nasty-looking, gnollish blade. They’re all just
+
+standing there. “What happened to Trevor?”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, Trevor’s with the wind.
+
+LIAM: I just failed my first death save.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Oh, already? Why’d you roll? He didn’t even
+tell you.
+
+LIAM: About six seconds went by.
+
+LAURA: Jesus.
+
+TRAVIS: See, Trevor done put his fucking nose
+where it didn’t belong. Unless you want to join
+
+him, I’d get the fuck out of here.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to walk over to Caleb, while I’m
+doing this, and I’m going to cast Cure Wounds on him.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+SAM: (magic sounds)
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if you know, but syphilis is
+fucking contagious.
+
+MATT: One of them nearby walks over to where
+Trevor was, where his boots on the ground now are
+
+smoking, and picks up a handful of ash and goes–
+
+LAURA: 11.
+
+LIAM: 11, oh, wow. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “We’re going to go ahead and wish you a good
+night.” (whistles)
+
+LAURA: Hey, hey!
+
+LAURA: I think you’re going to give us everything
+on your cart.
+
+MATT: “We don’t have a cart.”
+
+LAURA: I thought you had a cart; you were going to
+load our stuff onto your cart.
+
+MATT: “No, we were taking your cart.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, well where’d you come from? That’s so
+stupid.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a really terrible plan.
+
+MATT: “Well, we steal your cart and then we get
+your stuff and–” “Shut up!” He’s like, “I’m sorry.”
+
+LAURA: Well, then give us all your clothes then!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, your headbands are lame, but I want
+them.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+SAM: I’m going to disappear back into the woods.
+
+LAURA: That was so close to being good. Five!
+
+MATT: He goes, “No!”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to say I’m going to use
+Devil’s Tongue: Come on, we’re all friends here.
+
+Why don’t you just walk away, leave your things,
+and just admit your defeat? It was a good try.
+
+MATT: Is this the Vicious Mockery?
+
+TALIESIN: No, this is not Vicious Mockery. This is
+Charm Person.
+
+MATT: Right! That’s a four.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, nope.
+
+MATT: He goes, “The man makes a valid point,” and
+starts taking his trousers off immediately in the
+
+place. All the other guys go (questioning
+stutters).
+
+LAURA: Take it off! Take it all off!
+
+MATT: They all start pulling and stripping their
+armor off. As they take their masks off, you can
+
+see a lot of them just look like dirty, poor,
+wandering brigands. A lot of them are missing
+
+varying teeth. A lot of them look like they
+haven’t had a bath in days. They look kind of like Caleb.
+
+SAM: DM shade.
+
+MATT: They look genuinely perturbed by the fact
+that you incinerated their de facto leader,
+
+Trevor. There’s a moment where they go from these
+really frightening nameless thieves to a bunch of
+
+people that you feel sorry for as they strip down
+and throw their armor on the ground. A lot of them
+
+are left with either just some semblance of slacks
+or some sort of tattered long johns that are just
+
+stained and awful. They throw their crossbows onto
+the ground. They throw their shortswords and
+
+daggers onto the ground.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, maybe we can let them have a
+little fucking dignity as they leave.
+
+LIAM: As he says that, I already begin picking
+through the remains of the leader’s shit, looking
+
+to see if anything is left.
+
+MATT: Well, there are two shortswords that are
+currently covered in soot, that was once their
+
+previous owner. All the rest of the armor has been
+burnt and charred. And there is ashes.
+
+SAM: While they’re talking, can I do a long circle
+around the whole campsite, looking for horses that
+
+are tied up?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Okay. 19.
+
+MATT: You do see there are, a ways over the
+previous hill, nine horses that are all briefly
+
+hitched to a few stakes that are pounded into the
+ground.
+
+SAM: I will unhitch the stakes.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yes you will.
+
+SAM: Let’s see here. Five of them I’ll just shoo,
+the meekest five I’ll shoo off into the woods and
+
+the other four I’ll try to control and take with
+me somewhere else.
+
+MATT: Make an animal handling check.
+
+SAM: 18 plus something! Plus three– No, plus
+zero.
+
+MATT: You have been learning, as you’ve made your
+way past these barriers with nature’s beautiful,
+
+natural creatures. Manage to get four sets of
+these reins, and these horses look pretty
+
+malnourished, and they were probably stolen too.
+Some of them have brands, but different types of
+
+brands. You get the sense that they were probably
+pulled from different homesteads. As you pull them
+
+together, there’s a moment of you waiting for them
+to draw and quarter you. Just based on what you’re
+
+holding. Just like (yelps). But they follow. You
+carefully begin to walk a perimeter around. While
+
+that’s happening–
+
+TALIESIN: Now that the leader’s dead, who’s the de
+facto leader here? Speak up, be bold!
+
+MATT: Two of the ones go, “Me!” They both look at
+each other and shoot each other down with these
+
+horrible glares and go, “No, it’s me!” again, at
+the same time. Both say, “Fuck you!” at the same
+
+time. (Groans) And they’re just frustrated.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you know parchment-shears-stone?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
+
+ALL: Boulder-parchment-shears.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you know that game?
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+TALIESIN: Pick your leader.
+
+MARISHA: Do it! Come on.
+
+MATT: They both come together and (tapping).
+
+LIAM: Kiss yourself, Matthew.
+
+MATT: All right, the one on the left, who looks to
+be a scraggly redhead, probably close to 20 or
+
+21 years old, wins the bout of
+boulder-parchment-shears.
+
+TALIESIN: Step forward. Would you agree that the
+previous leadership of this group has probably
+
+failed you on some level?
+
+MATT: “You know, I wouldn’t say so. Yeah, no, I
+mean, Trevor, he–”
+
+TALIESIN: Look where you are right now, son.
+
+MATT: “I know! Trevor’s turned to ashes.”
+
+TALIESIN: It was a bad decision!
+
+MATT: “It was very bad. He was a very bad man.”
+
+TALIESIN: Perhaps you should rethink your line of
+work.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. You are right.
+Right?” And all the boys go, “Right.”
+
+TRAVIS: Molly I think they also need a bath.
+
+TALIESIN: Right. All right here’s the deal, if
+everyone’s fine?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Are you going to bathe me?”
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe.
+
+MATT: (whimpers)
+
+TALIESIN: Put your clothes back on, this is just
+embarrassing, all of you– don’t pick up your weapons–
+
+LAURA: Leave your weapons.
+
+MATT: They start taking their clothes and the one
+who this one kid beat at boulder-parchment-shears
+
+is like, “You fucked up, Zenny.”
+
+TALIESIN: Do not criticize new management until
+it’s had time to take full effect.
+
+MATT: “Right.”
+
+TALIESIN: All right?
+
+MATT: They all start putting on bits of their
+clothing, most of them are just holding it under
+
+their arms.
+
+TALIESIN: Now, line up. Line up.
+
+LAURA: How many are there?
+
+TALIESIN: Nine. Eight.
+
+MATT: There’s eight now and three of them look
+like they’re hurting pretty bad. One of them has
+
+their own crossbow bolt in their chest that Beau
+threw and it’s still there and he’s (groans)
+
+holding it.
+
+TALIESIN: Now you’re all going to leave tonight.
+You’re going to find something better to do with
+
+yourselves and remember, no matter how you die or
+where we can identify your bodies without the
+
+heads. So be careful. I’m going to give, in a
+line, one gold piece each to each of them in the row.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, that’s, yes. I like that a lot.
+
+MATT: They all look very confused.
+
+TALIESIN: Now for this, you promise that your
+terrible bandit days are over because you’re
+
+really not very good at this. I mean, we were
+barely paying attention, this is pathetic.
+
+MARISHA: Well, you were barely paying attention.
+
+TALIESIN: Well let’s not cast aspirations on new
+management, it’s only been two days.
+
+MATT: They all lower their heads and one of them
+goes, “Yeah, Zenny.” He’s like, “Shut up.”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re all walking away with one gold.
+
+MATT: “Right.” “Right.” “Right.” “Right.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That’s about as well as this night
+could’ve gone for you.
+
+LAURA: Make sure you wash your gold thoroughly
+because they’re all infected with syphilis.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s so much syphilis.
+
+MATT: Two of them drop the coins on the ground and
+then pick them up again, but with bits of their cloth.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, if I will, I feel like our money
+should still buy something, you know, a service.
+
+We teach these good men to make money based on the
+services they provide.
+
+TALIESIN: What precisely did you have in mind?
+
+MARISHA: You all have one fucking job, you go and
+you tell all your stupid friends: No fucks with
+
+the Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: You see as three of them are, quietly under
+their breath, “Mighty Nein, Mighty Nein, okay.”
+
+MARISHA: But spelled N-E-I-N. The Mighty Nein.
+Don’t forget it.
+
+MATT: It’s at that moment you think you’ve lost
+most of them.
+
+LIAM: It’s in Zemnian. Partially.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, unless anyone else has anything
+to say?
+
+MARISHA: That’s all I got.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+LAURA: The Traveler is with you all, forever and
+ever (low-pitched) and ever.
+
+MATT: Use Thaumaturgy to make that, “(low-pitched)
+And ever!” You Gandalf-voice it for a moment and
+
+they all take a step back, “So, leader Zenny,
+where are we off to?” He’s like, “Um, I think,
+
+let’s just head to Felderwin.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a very bold decision, well done.
+
+MATT: “Okay. Thank you.”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re welcome.
+
+LAURA: Go away now!
+
+MATT: “Okay!” They all quickly dart off, they’re
+pulling their pants up the rest of the way and
+
+they’re making their way back into the field.
+They’re avoiding– yeah, you’ve certainly made
+
+their evening.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, did you see that you thought you
+burned that other guy up, did you see how much you
+
+burned that–
+
+LIAM: (groans in pain)
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I caught one of them.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Two– (groans in pain)
+
+LAURA: That’s really good. I just go up and put a
+hand on each of them to cover the blood holes.
+
+LIAM: Oh, cover my nips.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to gather the swords and the
+crossbows and put them in the cart.
+
+LAURA: I don’t have any more hands, Caleb, don’t
+do it, don’t do it. Oh no! I put my knee up on the
+
+hole. Stop it. I’m going to cure your wounds now.
+Get ready for it, it’s going to be so good.
+
+LIAM: I think I’m going to faint right now.
+
+LAURA: No! Cure Wounds!
+
+MARISHA: He’s all right. He’ll be fine. He’s going
+to feel great when he wakes up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, like a million bucks.
+
+LAURA: That one isn’t as good, that’s only four.
+Sorry. You pulled out all three of them at once,
+
+you know.
+
+TALIESIN: Well hey, more kindling.
+
+MATT: You guys eventually settle yourselves down
+to continue your evening of rest.
+
+SAM: I walk back into camp with the horses and tie
+them up. I found some horses.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+SAM: I named them: Loo, John, Crapper, and
+Toilet.
+
+LAURA: Woah. I’ll take Toilet.
+
+MARISHA: I take Crapper.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take John.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take Loo.
+
+MATT: All right. Keep in mind now that you’re
+having to feed and take of six horses.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I feed Toilet so many doughnuts, I
+just feed him so many.
+
+MATT: You’re running pretty low on doughnuts, by
+the way.
+
+LAURA: I know, it’s crumbs and moldy bits of
+pastry at the bottom of my bag now.
+
+MATT: Yeah. They didn’t start as lemon tarts.
+
+LAURA: I had, like, twelve stuffed in there.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s 2:00AM on a Sunday at a Starbucks
+right now. There’s nothing.
+
+MATT: Basically, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: One lone cake pop.
+
+LAURA: I’m out of pastries. I’m out of money and
+I’m out of pastries.
+
+SAM: Money?
+
+LAURA: Well, compared to what I had, this is
+bullshit.
+
+SAM: What did you have before?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, it was a pretty big pile
+though. This is like not a big pile, this was like
+
+a big pile.
+
+SAM: When you were with your mother?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t even know what you do with that
+much money, this is ridiculous.
+
+LAURA: You buy clothes for your horse that draws
+your carriage, which is something I did.
+
+TALIESIN: You put clothes on your horse? That’s a
+great idea.
+
+LAURA: It was real pretty.
+
+MARISHA: What happened to those clothes and that
+horse?
+
+LAURA: Well, I think I left them on the side of
+the road, somewhere, actually.
+
+TALIESIN: Insight check.
+
+LAURA: Why did I do that?
+
+TALIESIN: Is she full of bullshit?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. 12.
+
+MATT: Hard to read.
+
+TALIESIN: Damn it.
+
+LAURA: I can’t remember. I saw something super
+interesting. Shit.
+
+TALIESIN: If it was that interesting, why can’t
+you remember it?
+
+LAURA: I see a lot of interesting things.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+MARISHA: I bet that horse made a great gift for
+someone else, you probably made somebody really
+
+happy. Maybe a little girl who wanted a horsie for
+her birthday.
+
+TRAVIS: I start kicking the ash of the former
+leader around to spread him around and fucking lay
+
+back down.
+
+SAM: Caleb’s still out.
+
+TALIESIN: How many sword and crossbows and random
+things did we pick up?
+
+MATT: Two heavy crossbows.
+
+TALIESIN: Two heavy crossbows.
+
+MATT: Three light crossbows.
+
+TALIESIN: Two heavy cross– Oh you’ve got–?
+Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Two heavy–
+
+TALIESIN: Two light.
+
+SAM: This is not a good system. Travis, will you
+teach her how to keep track of our group stuff?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. Trust me, my system wasn’t any
+better.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to make better notes soon, I’m
+just going to– Two heavy crossbows, two light–
+
+MATT: Two hand crossbows.
+
+LAURA: That’s in addition to the two light
+crossbows?
+
+TALIESIN: Two heavy, two light, two hand.
+
+LAURA: Two hand.
+
+SAM: It’s like, all over the place next to dick
+pics.
+
+MATT: What would amount to 43 bolts.
+
+SAM: Oh, I’ll take some of those.
+
+MATT: Yeah, those will be helpful to you.
+
+LAURA: Do you want all of them?
+
+SAM: No, because what if we need– someone else–
+
+LAURA: No one else is going to use crossbows.
+
+SAM: I’ll take 20.
+
+LAURA: 20, got it.
+
+MATT: And six shortswords and two daggers.
+
+LAURA: Holy moly.
+
+MATT: You can load up in that cart. Carrying them
+on your person would be a problem, that cart’s
+
+getting pretty full. Thankfully you have more
+horses.
+
+LAURA: Two daggers you said?
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got the fucking Wells Fargo carriage
+now.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, it totally is!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re straight-up Wells Fargo.
+
+MATT: Mind you, all the equipment you found from
+them, not in the best condition. The swords are
+
+dinged to shit. They’re chipped in places like
+they’ve been banged against hard pieces.
+
+MARISHA: Scrap metal. I roll Caleb over and make
+sure he’s not face-down in the dirt.
+
+MATT: He’s breathing, he’s good.
+
+MARISHA: I cover him up, he’s fine.
+
+MATT: You guys eventually find yourselves back to
+rest for the evening. You’re keeping second watch now?
+
+LAURA: He was going to keep second watch.
+
+SAM: Yes, I’m second watch.
+
+MATT: Nott, go ahead and roll a perception check
+for me, please.
+
+SAM: Oh man, eight.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Take them out! Take them out!
+
+LAURA: Jesus Christ.
+
+LIAM: (heavy panting) Oh, you’re all awake.
+
+SAM: Hello.
+
+LAURA: Now we are all awake.
+
+SAM: Were you having a bad dream?
+
+TALIESIN: Party’s over.
+
+LIAM: Why would you say that?
+
+MARISHA: One day we’re going to have a real big
+talk about your issues.
+
+LAURA: You have major glasses indentations on your
+face.
+
+LIAM: I don’t wear glasses.
+
+LAURA: Then what the fuck is that from?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the syphilis is creeping up into
+your eye cavities.
+
+SAM: That was some good lying. Oh boy. Your face
+is fucked up.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Look over here. Holy shit.
+
+LAURA: That’s commitment.
+
+LIAM: I’ve been asleep face-down in the cart, it
+feels like. Where are we?
+
+SAM: We’re in the same exact place, you’re not
+dead.
+
+LIAM: Did we make it to Zadash?
+
+LAURA: No, Caleb go back to sleep, you’re ruining
+everyone’s sleep.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s literally been about ten
+minutes.
+
+LIAM: Okay, let’s fight these fuckers. Where are
+they?
+
+SAM: They’re all dead, they’re gone. We took their
+horses, they’re gone.
+
+LAURA: They were already gone when you passed out.
+Go back to sleep. Is he always like this?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LAURA: Oi.
+
+SAM: He’s very smart.
+
+MATT: All right. Third and final watch?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Good wrist action, terrible roll.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow!
+
+TRAVIS: Please tell me it’s less than a ten.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah.
+
+LAURA: It’s six.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, that’s six perception checks in a
+row that were under ten.
+
+MATT: Yeah. During your final watch, as people are
+finishing up their rest, the sun just barely
+
+begins to– or would be cresting over the hills.
+The slight change in light is the precursor that
+
+notifies you of dawn, however, the heavy, dark
+clouds in the sky and the sudden sound of thunder
+
+immediately followed the freezing cold rainfall
+that begins to spill across the entirety of your
+
+campsite. All of you begin to come to
+consciousness, finishing your long rest, by
+
+immediately being drenched in freezing water of a
+recent storm here on the Marrow Valley fields.
+
+LAURA: Hey you guys, it’s raining.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you sure?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Have you checked?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Hold on.
+
+MARISHA: Camping sucks.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s rain. That’s a little
+water. I’m going to fold my coat up and put it
+
+away, just vest and vestiture.
+
+TRAVIS: I take out that heavy cloak and I put it
+over my damn head.
+
+MATT: Okay. you guys all bundle up what you can.
+The horses are trying to stay warm and cuddle up
+
+next to each other.
+
+LAURA: I take my cloak off and put it around
+Toilet’s head.
+
+MARISHA: Aww!
+
+LAURA: See?
+
+MATT: I’m not going to talk about the state of the
+manticore head at the moment, which is now
+
+drenched in rain.
+
+LAURA: The cold weather will be good for it.
+
+MATT: You guys you have rested for the evening.
+you continue back onto the path and continue
+
+forward. Who’s keeping watch on this next journey?
+Perception check for me, please.
+
+LIAM: It’s a 12.
+
+MATT: You glance off the side of the western edge
+of the Amber Road and see a neglected gravesite,
+
+maybe 300 feet off the road’s path. It’s overgrown
+in the fields. At a quick glance, you can gather
+
+maybe close to 200 various stones that are grave
+markers in various states of disrepair and erosion
+
+over time. As you ride past and see in the
+distance, it looks to be an older landmark, that’s
+
+been left to be reclaimed by nature.
+
+LIAM: At our closest, where do we get to it before
+passing it?
+
+MATT: You’d probably get about 80 or 90 feet from
+it.
+
+LIAM: Is everybody sleeping?
+
+MATT: No, everyone’s up in the cart, or riding.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: You guys continue on past, up the road. Are
+you still keeping watch on this?
+
+LIAM: Am I controlling the cart at this point if
+everybody is sleeping?
+
+LAURA: We’re all on horses.
+
+LIAM: We’re all just going, and I’m keeping
+watch?
+
+LAURA: Nott might be driving the cart, you might
+be sitting in the cart, but the rest of us are on
+
+horses next to the cart.
+
+LIAM: Wait, wait. I want to–
+
+SAM: Whoa!
+
+LIAM: I just have to take a piss, hold on. I’m
+going to walk over towards the graves.
+
+SAM: It’s true, he does need to pee quite
+frequently.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s an old cemetery?
+
+MATT: You glance over to where he’s going to pee
+and you can see a long in disuse cemetery.
+
+LIAM: I would like to get about 30 or 40 feet
+within range of it and start taking a tinkle.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to crawl over there on my
+horse as well and get a feel of it.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re finishing your business, you
+can get within 30 feet or so and you see that a
+
+lot of the stones are intact, some of them have
+been cracked and broken, a lot of them– what once
+
+may have been a well-kept perimeter of earth,
+dirt, and dust has since been completely retaken
+
+by the grasses of the field. While the grasses
+aren’t as tall as the surrounding field may be,
+
+the greenery and the moss has taken a lot of the
+stone and to read a lot of them you would probably
+
+have to clear off whatever bit of growth has
+reached up and claimed them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pick a random one.
+
+LIAM: After I shake it and put it away, I move my
+fingers in a shape in the air and whisper a few
+
+arcane words and cast Detect Magic within range of
+the gravestones.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you begin to do a conscious pass
+across the grave, nothing magical catches your
+
+attention within the radius you’re observing.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I squeeze out a single fart and go
+back to the cart.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything undead, anything…?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+TALIESIN: With advantage, or no?
+
+MATT: As you’re seeking anything that’s related to
+the undead, yeah, go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m cleaning off one.
+
+MATT: As you pick one and look for any signs of
+grave emerging or grave robbery, or different
+
+things that may be attributed to the necromantic
+studies that involve the creation and/or
+
+maintenance of undead, the site seems to be
+largely undisturbed. You go through one name and
+
+it says “Bagent” and the next once you go by says
+“Avryn” and the next stone says “Emor.” The
+
+markings are simple. They’re very simple stones.
+It looks like whoever was buried here was done so
+
+at the very basic level of marking a grave site.
+Your foot hits something hard on the ground and
+
+your toe– and you look down at a rusted helmet of
+iron make. You pick it up. Make a history check.
+
+MARISHA: (whisper chants) Scrap metal! Scrap
+metal! Scrap metal!
+
+TRAVIS: Like nobody’s going to want metal and
+we’re just going to be driving around that busted
+
+jalopy with a shitload of metal.
+
+TALIESIN: Nothing. Six.
+
+MATT: You’re unable to make out any details of the
+construction of it or any significance of it, but
+
+it’s an old helmet. And it looks like a lot of the
+edges of it appear to have just slowly been taken
+
+by the oxidization–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take it back anyway.
+
+MATT: As you guys are waiting, Caleb’s returned,
+and a few minutes later, maybe about ten minutes
+
+after, you watch as Molly approaches, tossing this
+deeply rusted iron helmet in his hand.
+
+LIAM: What is that? Can I see that?
+
+TALIESIN: Of course.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I would like to. Do I recognize this?
+
+MATT: Make a history check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: It’s Yorick.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is a 14.
+
+MATT: Okay. You have a little more grasp and
+understanding of the history of the valley. The
+
+markings on this indicate that this helmet
+belonged to a regiment of the Julous Dominion. The
+
+Julous Dominion, which you recall is the last
+remaining empire to be conquered by the Dwendalian
+
+Empire, nearly two centuries before.
+
+MARISHA: Julous what?
+
+LIAM: Julous Dominion. Two centuries.
+
+MATT: Zadash was the capital of that empire before
+the Dwendalian rule conquered them and took over.
+
+As opposed to erasing their society, they just
+allowed it to be integrated into their own
+
+beliefs, and then just imposed their life upon
+those people, their laws, their rules, and
+
+adjusted as they saw fit. That marked the end of
+it. This gravesite seems to have been a reminder
+
+of soldiers that fought, probably, in those
+conflicts or something around that time period,
+
+and has just been left to the annals of memory as
+the Dwendalian influence left no real particular
+
+interest in those to keep tabs of the history
+behind them.
+
+LIAM: Caleb says: You know, it’s funny– and then
+says everything that you just did to everyone in
+
+the group.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very interesting.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Wow.
+
+LIAM: Here’s your helmet back.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s very informative, Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: We can still sell that for scrap metal,
+though, right?
+
+LAURA: I mean, it’s pretty rusty.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Like maybe to a museum or something.
+
+LIAM: Steeped in history.
+
+LAURA: The Dwendalian Empire kind of sucks, you
+guys.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve lived here my whole life. It’s kind
+of lame.
+
+LAURA: I mean, the Menagerie Coast is really
+cool.
+
+MARISHA: Never been that far.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s amazing!
+
+MARISHA: Been a lot of places in Dwendalian, but
+not that far.
+
+SAM: There must be some nice places here, right?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, everything I’ve seen so
+far–
+
+SAM: Well, that village we were just in was not
+bad, except for, you know, the gnoll attack.
+
+LAURA: That’s true. And Bryce was a soldier of the
+Dwendalian Empire?
+
+MARISHA: They’re on the outskirts. The further on
+the outskirts you go, the more tolerable they are.
+
+Further north we go…?
+
+LIAM: The further out you are, the easier it is to
+bend the rules.
+
+LAURA: What’s the capital of the Dwendalian
+Empire?
+
+MARISHA: It’s–
+
+SAM: Let’s consult our notes.
+
+LAURA: Is it Rexxentrum?
+
+MATT and TRAVIS: Rexxentrum.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s where the magic school is, right?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just telling you, the more north we
+go, the stricter it’s going to get. You’re going
+
+to see more and more of the empire and its
+influence.
+
+LAURA: Crazy.
+
+SAM: Maybe they’ll have nicer things. Arts.
+Culture.
+
+MARISHA: Of course they will. It’s where all the
+money is.
+
+LIAM: They have the best of the best in the north,
+ja.
+
+LAURA: Do they like arts and culture in the
+Dwendalian Empire?
+
+LIAM: What and culture?
+
+LIAM and LAURA: Arts and culture.
+
+LAURA: Do they like painting?
+
+MARISHA: Farts and vultures.
+
+LIAM: What are you talking about?
+
+MARISHA: Never mind.
+
+LIAM: I hear.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Okay. That’s good.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys continue moving northward again,
+the rain still pouring as you all maintain warmth
+
+best you can, bundling up with the various travel
+supplies, blankets and insulation you can muster
+
+off the cart and your own–
+
+LAURA: I was taking in the rain, yo! I like it!
+
+SAM: Hard to tell what motions you’re doing.
+
+LAURA: Shut up! I could see it in my head!
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin is fucking miserable because he’s
+drenched and he does not like to be wet.
+
+MATT: Yep. (sad meow). As you push into the latter
+half of the afternoon, a few hours before the sun
+
+begins to set, you begin cresting a large hill
+along the road, before you notice a trio of spiky
+
+peaks catching your eye, breaking the skyline
+ahead of you. As you begin to come higher up to
+
+the top of that hillside, you can watch these
+peaks slowly unveil into the rest of the massive
+
+skyline of the city of Zadash, breaking the
+horizon.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Oh my gosh!
+
+MATT: It’s an incredible sight compared to the
+rural townships you’ve encountered here in the
+
+empire thus far, and comparable in mass to the
+coastal metropolis of Port Damali, where you grew
+
+up. The 15-foot perimeter walls outline the
+somewhat triangular shape of the city from your
+
+current perspective. The communities spilling
+beyond the protective bulwarks cascade beyond the
+
+walls into ramshackle tent cities and hovel towns.
+As you ride down the road towards the stretch that
+
+leads to the southern gates, you pass through
+fields of crop workers that are currently out
+
+there with heavy shawls and head coverings, in the
+process of harvesting various vegetables and crops
+
+from the field. Some take note of your presence
+and watch as you pass and then go amongst their
+
+work; others are too involved, could care less
+about the constant passing of travelers northward
+
+and southward. As you approach closer to the city
+still, the external neighborhoods begin to envelop
+
+your vision as small farmsteads, homes, begin to
+mingle with these tents and shacks you had seen at
+
+a distance. A mother in ragged clothes plucks a
+chicken before noticing your band and sending her
+
+six-year-old boy over, dirt smeared on his face
+and no shoes, running up to the mud outside the
+
+cart and puts his hands out towards you as you
+walk past.
+
+MARISHA: I toss him a silver.
+
+MATT: He takes it and runs back to his mom and she
+just nods. Doesn’t make eye contact with you, but
+
+as soon as the child approaches, gives a nod.
+Continues pulling feathers out. Pushing on, the
+
+foot traffic–
+
+LIAM: Sorry, Caleb trips, or pretends to, into the
+mud, and scoops up two fistfuls of mud and shoves
+
+them into his pockets.
+
+MATT: Okay. Easily enough. Pushing on, the foot
+traffic grows heavier near the gate. A huge,
+
+15-foot wide, currently open portcullis is being
+held aloft by chains beyond your visual range. As
+
+two pairs of crownsguards flank each side of this
+opening with semi-watchful eyes. They’re not
+
+interrogating passersby; they’re keeping a close
+watch as folks enter in and out. You can see
+
+another caravan is currently in the process of
+loading up and getting ready to leave southward.
+
+You can see people are walking in and out from the
+external shantytown, and other individuals are–
+
+some are paying attention to the rather, once
+again, your colorful band by comparison; most of the
+
+folks you see here range between your typical
+human populace to the occasional halfling and
+
+dwarf. The fairer races beyond that haven’t caught
+your eye yet on this exterior perimeter. Stepping
+
+beyond, the crownsguard keeping a watch as you
+pass, you emerge beyond the threshold of the entry
+
+gate on the southern wall here, into Zadash. The
+smell of wet earth, manure immediately hits your
+
+nose, accompanied by the sound of hooves, mingling
+conversations, distant shouts, and the barking of
+
+dogs as they welcome you into this new and
+interesting city. Glancing up, you can see the
+
+buildings around you that flank the street
+continue to be rather destitute in the atmosphere,
+
+but then eventually begin to graduate into a
+standard village feel. You’ve arrived.
+
+LIAM: Is it still raining?
+
+MATT: It is still raining.
+
+SAM: This place sucks! Too much water.
+
+TRAVIS: We should find a place to take some
+shelter until this rain lets up.
+
+SAM: Are we supposed to go to the Pillow Trove or
+the Leaky Tap?
+
+LAURA: Well, we should probably hit the Leaky Tap
+first, in the West Outersteads.
+
+LIAM: Agreed, that is our first stop.
+
+TALIESIN: East.
+
+SAM: The East Westersheets. What was it?
+
+TALIESIN: East Best Western.
+
+LAURA: It was in the West Outersteads.
+
+SAM: I thought it was the East Outer!
+
+LIAM: We are looking for Claudia Sheed.
+
+MARISHA: East?
+
+TALIESIN: East.
+
+LAURA: It was?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, I didn’t catch it. I got
+Claudia Sheed.
+
+LIAM: I remember exactly, and Matthew will tell me
+because of my Keen Mind feat.
+
+TALIESIN: This is the best thing you’ve ever
+done.
+
+LIAM: It was entirely on purpose.
+
+MATT: Bryce, when you were talking about this,
+Bryce grew up in the West Outersteads, but Leaky
+
+Tap is in the east.
+
+LAURA: Aww!
+
+MATT: Still take your notes!
+
+MARISHA: But Bryce grew up in the west.
+
+LIAM: I took the Clippy feat.
+
+SAM: Looks like you’re writing a letter!
+
+LIAM: Looks like you can’t remember the details
+the DM told you. Would you like to ask him again
+
+and get an exact replication?
+
+MATT: As the horses are clopping through the mud
+and you guys are having this conversation, slowly
+
+making your way through town, everyone else is
+rushing about their business, but you’re just
+
+leisurely just taking in the vicinity. You hear
+this coughing off to the side, and you watch as a
+
+bundled up, hunched-looking human approaches and
+goes, “Well, hello! You look a bit lost, and
+
+obviously not from around here.” As the face looks
+up, you can see within the hood, a somewhat
+
+pudgy-looking older man in his mid-60s or so, it
+looks to be. He has a thick, bushy, gray mustache
+
+that turns into a full Stonewall beard on the
+side. He has a monocle up in one eye, but it looks
+
+a bit scratched. The cloak he’s wearing is just
+covering the rest of his form, but as he looks and
+
+goes, “I’m just happy to greet you to our fair
+city. Do you require anyone to help you around?
+
+Show you the grounds?”
+
+MARISHA: How much?
+
+MATT: “Well, for a day’s work, that would merely
+run you a paltry two gold pieces.”
+
+TRAVIS: What might your name be, kind stranger?
+
+MATT: “I am Ulysses Stanneras. I’ve lived here my
+entire life. I’m a purveyor of all the great sites
+
+and sounds of the city, and it would be my
+pleasure.”
+
+LAURA: Ulysses, are you going to flash us or try
+to sell us some watches?
+
+LIAM: What is a watch?
+
+MATT: They have watches? (laughs) There is
+clockwork in this–
+
+LAURA: There you go!
+
+LIAM: What is a watch?
+
+SAM: Oh, he only knows it by the Zemnian name.
+
+LIAM: You mean, like a guard?
+
+SAM: No, like a “clockcruzen.” That’s how you say
+it in your language, I think.
+
+TALIESIN: Mechanical croissant.
+
+SAM: A “clockenticken.”
+
+LIAM: You are adorably, fucking wrong right now.
+
+SAM: I’ve been picking up little bits of the
+language.
+
+LIAM: Okay. To say “yes,” it is “ja.” That is
+your first lesson.
+
+SAM: Ja.
+
+LIAM: Everything else you said was shit.
+
+MARISHA: Stanneras.
+
+LIAM: Staggeras or Standeras?
+
+MARISHA, LAURA, MATT, and TALIESIN: Stanneras.
+
+LIAM: Ulysses Standeras. Strong name, ja, ja,
+ja. Ulysses Standeras.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a fine offer, Ulysses. Where would
+you have us get out of this rain for a bit?
+
+MATT: “Well, there is a small tunnel, maybe about
+several hundred feet above; it’ll give us some
+
+break from the rain.”
+
+LAURA: Can we insight check this motherfucker?
+
+MATT: Of course.
+
+LAURA: Please.
+
+MARISHA: Let me take you to the shadiest place,
+tourist.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+ALL: Whispers!
+
+LIAM: Mama Bear takes care of the Mighty Nein!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! (chants) Den mama! Den mama!
+
+SAM: It’s not D and D Beyond, it’s D N D
+Beyond. You don’t want to type in an “and,”
+
+because that will take you to a porn site.
+
+TALIESIN: What doesn’t, really?
+
+SAM: What does Stannis Baratheon say?
+
+LAURA: I mean.
+
+SAM: Should we go to this dingy tunnel?
+
+LAURA: I guess we can?
+
+LIAM: You say that because it’s a good idea, or
+because you’re feeling–?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, he just seems like a good guy
+some– I mean, shifty. But I don’t think he’s
+
+trying to fuck us right now.
+
+LIAM: Insight check!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Make an ins– (laughs and coughs)
+
+MARISHA: You’re insight checking–
+
+TALIESIN: This is a game of trust.
+
+LIAM: 18.
+
+LAURA: Can I whisper to him?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you may.
+
+MARISHA: This is our first chain whisper.
+
+MATT: I love this so much.
+
+LIAM: What, what?
+
+SAM: What is going on right now?
+
+MARISHA: Is D and D Beyond.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s D N D.
+
+MARISHA: With an N.
+
+TRAVIS: Beyond.
+
+MARISHA: Little hitch in it. DND.
+
+MATT: “Or, not. You’re welcome to wander as you
+see fit but I was just merely willing to help.”
+
+LAURA: What do you have under that cloak? Is it
+weapons?
+
+MATT: He takes the edges and daintily holds the
+cloak open presentery style and he’s dressed in
+
+very fine clothing, like a nice coat that’s
+buttoned, with a little cravat and fine trousers.
+
+Or at least they were at one point, the edges are
+a little tattered. It looks like his one nice
+
+suit that he’s had for maybe 20 years and it’s
+definitely seen some rough days. You get the
+
+sense, from this whole package here, that either
+he feigns some level of prominence or has fallen
+
+very hard from it.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, Jester, if he’s fine by you, I mean,
+let’s get out of the rain, I’m fucking soaked.
+
+LAURA: He seems pretty okay, I guess.
+
+SAM: To the tunnels!
+
+LIAM: I cast Friends on him.
+
+MARISHA: So soon.
+
+SAM: Friends.
+
+LIAM: Yes. Freunde.
+
+SAM: Freundes.
+
+LIAM: And I say. My Freunde–
+
+MATT: “Yes?”
+
+LIAM: I have just cast a spell on you, okay? So
+you just have to listen to what I’m saying, okay?
+
+I think you are kind of an asshole but so are we,
+we are the Mighty Nein and we will fuck you so
+
+hard if you fuck with us.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check with advantage.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MATT: He goes: “Well, first off that’s terribly
+rude, affecting me with any sort of arcane-based
+
+nature enchantments upon first meeting you when
+I’ve been so gracious.”
+
+LIAM: Ja, we’re a bunch of Arschlochs, yeah,
+we’re assholes it’s fine, but I’m just saying–
+
+MATT: “But do you pay?”
+
+LIAM: Today we do.
+
+MATT: “Then I think we will do quite well working
+together.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, you see this one? The purple one? He
+will cut you from navel to nuts, so please, have
+
+fun with us, but don’t you fuck us.
+
+MATT: “I know better than to cross anyone with
+a–”
+
+LAURA: Unless we ask for it. And then you’re
+welcome to do it.
+
+MATT: “Well then, shall we get out of this rain?
+Follow me.” He closes his cloak and begins to dart
+
+with a really rapid gait further down the road and
+then turn off to the right. You can now see the
+
+city. Beyond the outer wall, it looks like there
+are a number of perimeter walls that have arches
+
+between them almost like under a bridge and
+there are constructs– houses that are built
+
+through those gaps and in these small tunnels that
+are maybe 15 to 20 feet in length but, you know,
+
+40 foot wide where these large separation barriers
+are and you can see along the top there are carts
+
+that move on their own along these wall tops and
+it catches your eyes. One of them shifts down, it’s curious.
+
+MARISHA: Like a people mover?
+
+MATT: Kind of.
+
+LIAM: Like a people mover.
+
+MARISHA: Like Disney!
+
+SAM: They have a monorail?
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: They have a monorail in
+Zadash!
+
+MATT: He guides you underneath one of these
+arches.
+
+LAURA: Does it look shady in there? I mean, are
+there people in there?
+
+MATT: Yeah, there are people wandering through.
+It’s just where one of the streets turns off to
+
+it. It sounded a lot shadier when he presented it
+than it was, but it’s more just like a brief
+
+respite from where people are walking through and
+occasionally you see a couple crownsguard that
+
+come through passing.
+
+LIAM: This guy is good.
+
+TALIESIN: Forgive our friend, someone attempted to
+mug us on the way into the city, he’s still a bit sore.
+
+MATT: “Oh, that’s all right”
+
+TRAVIS: He recovered from four arrows to the
+chest.
+
+LAURA: Three actually because you got one.
+
+MARISHA: I did.
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+TRAVIS: My apologies.
+
+MATT: “That’s impressive, Mighty Nein.” He pulls
+his hood back and he has this Benjamin Franklin
+
+skullet going on where there it’s curly, wavy,
+gray hair, but it’s balding on top and he throws
+
+the cloak over one shoulder. “So now that you’ve
+arrived. What’s your business here? What can I
+
+help you with? What do you want to see? What can I
+show you?”
+
+LAURA: Well we need to–
+
+SAM: Sell some things?
+
+LAURA: We need to get to a blacksmith. Oh, we need
+to go somewhere that’ll buy expensive-y magic-y
+
+things and somewhere that’ll buy junky, shitty
+things.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Antiques.
+
+MATT: “Both of those you can probably find in the
+Pentamarket.”
+
+LIAM: Penta-what now?
+
+MATT: “Pentamarket.”
+
+LIAM: Pentamarket. Would the Pentamarket also have
+the finest inks und parchment?
+
+MATT: “It would have probably some of the finer
+inks, yes. The finest you could probably find
+
+there or in the Tri-Spires.”
+
+LIAM: Tri-Spies?
+
+MATT: “Tri-Spires.”
+
+LIAM: What about of arcane quality?
+
+MATT: “There are a few places you could go, yes.
+Actually, if we’re going towards the Pentamarket,
+
+your best luck there would be the Invulnerable
+Vagrant. Yes.”
+
+TRAVIS: The Invulnerable Vagrant?
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+TRAVIS: Excellent names in this place.
+
+LIAM: Also, I am a collector of rare tomes. I have
+a great appreciation for literature. Where might I
+
+find the most–
+
+TRAVIS: Nudie picture books!
+
+LIAM: –elaborate writings in the city?
+
+MATT: “That would probably be at the Archive.
+
+LIAM: The Archive?
+
+MATT: "Yes.”
+
+LIAM: Could you give me a little more background?
+That is a very common word.
+
+MATT: “The Archive of the Cobalt Soul here in the
+city. It’s a library that is maintained by a
+
+number of… believers. But as long as you’re not
+taking anything from within, and you have approved
+
+entry and are heavily watched within, for the most
+part you can peruse the content of the interior.”
+
+LIAM: That is excellent. Also, I’m a big reader.
+Is there any place that has pulp fiction and
+
+shitty smut?
+
+MATT: “I mean, I’m sure there are, but I would not
+bother myself with such base interests of reading.”
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: That is 23.
+
+LAURA: So many whispers!
+
+LIAM: My friend– I take him by the
+hands and say, You have given us a great welcome
+
+into this city.
+
+MATT: “My pleasure.”
+
+LIAM: So eager to learn all about it. I take my
+hands away, and he has two gold in his hand. Just
+
+know, I’m a big reader.
+
+MATT: “Then, perhaps, if you find your way somehow
+into the Tri-Spires’ southern quarter, somewhere
+
+in the vicinity of–” Let me look it up real fast.
+Look at my own notes.
+
+LIAM: It worked!
+
+MATT: “On the southern side of the Silken Terrace,
+you’ll find a place known as Chastity’s Nook. That
+
+may be where you’ll find what you’re looking for,
+friend.”
+
+LAURA: That was one of the names of the other
+courtesans at the place my mom–
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good name for her, Chastity
+Nook. Yeah, that’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll probably be staying at the Leaky
+Tap.
+
+MATT: “The Leaky Tap, you say? Well, it’s
+affordable.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’re trying to keep a low profile.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough, fair enough. The Leaky Tap,
+that’ll be in the East Outersteads, actually. Bit
+
+of a rowdy clientele.”
+
+TALIESIN: Perfect for me.
+
+MATT: “It’s bawdy and fun.”
+
+TALIESIN: Definitely perfect for me. Would you say
+there’s a reasonable bathhouse for someone who’s–
+
+LAURA: Stinky?
+
+TALIESIN: –and complicated, in the horns?
+
+MATT: “For your clientele–”
+
+TALIESIN: Somewhere I can take a nice bath in
+peace.
+
+MATT: “That could be–” You guys are really–
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Run us through it, Encyclopedia
+Britannica. Give it to us.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t want to scare the locals too
+much.
+
+MARISHA: Not yet.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t you?
+
+MATT: “The Steam’s Respite.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do it.
+
+LIAM: Caleb heard that.
+
+TALIESIN: I throw another gold at him. You are a
+fount of information.
+
+MATT: “That’s what I’m here for.”
+
+LAURA: The Pillow Trove. Is that in the
+Tri-Spires?
+
+MATT: “That is.” He glances quickly over towards
+Caleb. “You aren’t planning to stay there, are you?”
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+LIAM: We’ve heard good things.
+
+MATT: “They work for a certain clientele.”
+
+TALIESIN: You can be frank.
+
+LAURA: What kind of clientele?
+
+MATT: “Those who live in the Tri-Spire or can
+afford to stay at the– Well, you’re welcome to try.”
+
+LAURA: Are they super snooty there?
+
+MATT: “You could say that, yes.”
+
+LAURA: Do they not like you very much?
+
+MATT: “Not anymore.”
+
+MARISHA: You used to be a regular?
+
+MATT: “I was a man about town, yes.”
+
+MARISHA: Was?
+
+MATT: “Well, things change. Life changes. Partners
+disappear with your business’s goods and funds and
+
+leave you having to make a living showing people
+around the city.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s telling, yeah.
+
+LAURA: That’s awful.
+
+SAM: That does sound terrible.
+
+MATT: “It’s very sad, I know. But anyway.”
+
+MARISHA: What shop did you used to own?
+
+MATT: “We used to run a business that sold and
+traded leathers, but I was ousted and I’ve been
+
+scraping by ever since.”
+
+MARISHA: Are you a craftsman in the trade?
+
+MATT: “I was more of a business connection, if you
+will. My partner was the crafter. I knew a few
+
+things I’d picked up throughout the years, but–”
+
+MARISHA: I mean, a businessman can sell anything,
+right? Why don’t you get back into it? You still
+
+have all those connections.
+
+MATT: “Put it this way. Strangely enough, I make
+half as much with a quarter of the emphasis doing
+
+what I’m doing for you now.”
+
+MARISHA: Fair.
+
+LAURA: Lot of people come through town?
+
+MATT: “A lot of people come through town.”
+
+LIAM: Is it easy to work around the Empire here?
+
+MATT: “It can be. You can look for work. You can
+head to the–” He points out here. This would be,
+
+“The Signet Wall, if you’re more of a sellsword.”
+
+MARISHA: The Signet Wall?
+
+MATT: “The Signet Wall. That’s where the military
+stays, and most of the Crownsguard are holed up.”
+
+LAURA: Let’s not go there.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know a good blacksmith?
+
+MATT: “The Pentamarket would be a place where you
+could find. There is the Spark Hammer Smithing,
+
+that would be of aid to you. There’s also
+Packwearer’s Provisions, but they’re more of a
+
+smaller scale, smithing goods, tools, and such.”
+
+TALIESIN: More of an antique collector.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe he’ll want that helmet.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I think we learned a lot.
+
+MATT: “And, looking up at the sky, it appears the
+sun has set, which means my purchased day is done.
+
+It’s been an absolute pleasure.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, but Ulysses, we like you so much!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re looking forward to seeing you
+again. To the inn!
+
+LAURA: Where do you stay?
+
+MATT: “Well, it appears that our business
+transaction has come to an end. If you would like
+
+to rent another day, I’d be happy to answer your
+questions.”
+
+TRAVIS: Shittiest pay phone ever.
+
+SAM: Well, come see us at the Leaky Tap and maybe
+we’ll hire you tomorrow morning.
+
+LAURA: That’s true!
+
+MATT: He leans forward to you with a closer look.
+He goes, “Maybe.”
+
+SAM: I have extreme syphilis.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+MATT: The fact that that was your lie scares him
+more than believing it could’ve ever done. He
+
+goes, “Very well. Enjoy your stay at the Leaky
+Tap. I’ll be on my way.” He throws his hood up and
+
+darts back out into the rain.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, I liked him. I’m almost sad that we
+didn’t believe him at first.
+
+SAM: Was he trustworthy?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LIAM: I mean, no, he’s not trustworthy, but we are
+birds of a feather.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t trust trusting people, they’re
+just the worst.
+
+LAURA: He was trustworthy enough that he wasn’t
+going to, you know.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I have full faith in untrustworthy
+people.
+
+LIAM: Yes, he was predictably a shit, just as we
+are.
+
+LAURA: I forgot to ask him about bakeries, so I am
+going to keep an eye out for them.
+
+SAM: I will aid her in that search.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys are making your way towards
+the East Outersteads?
+
+LAURA: Would we be passing through the Pentamarket
+on the way to the Leaky Tavern?
+
+MATT: You’d have to curve around to do that. Do
+you want to?
+
+MARISHA: Do things shut down in an hour here?
+
+MATT: You don’t know. Well, you’ve been here.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve been here.
+
+MATT: You haven’t spent a lot of time in Zadash.
+In fact, probably the last thing you did before
+
+your family said, “Come home,” was here. You know
+it a little bit. You’ve been to the Pentamarket,
+
+you would be able to guide the rest of them
+through the Pentamarket if you wanted to.
+
+MARISHA: Do I know that it stays? Do they keep
+later hours?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Some of them do, some of them don’t.
+Some merchants prefer to use the night for revelry
+
+and spending some of what they made for the day.
+Some know that those who drink and revel sometimes
+
+make poor choices in their purchases, so it can
+vary.
+
+LAURA: We can sleep first and then get settled
+into the Leaky Tap, and then sell our shit tomorrow.
+
+MARISHA: I’d like to say maybe selling our shit
+now. That way it doesn’t get robbed in the night.
+
+LAURA: Either way.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m inclined to agree, actually. The
+longer we keep it out here, the more eyes will be
+
+on it.
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I think the Pentamarket’s that way. I’ve
+got a hunch. We can just slide by and see. Small detour.
+
+TRAVIS: Might be no one home.
+
+MATT: As you guys wander through the cold rain,
+making your way, aside from you, perhaps, this is
+
+the largest city any of you have visited.
+Comparable to Port Damali, but much taller. Damali
+
+was a little more spread out. This has
+architecture and buildings that are designed to
+
+rise, and almost seem to curve when you’re looking
+up at it. In certain moments, if you’re not
+
+careful, it can give a hint of vertigo, just at
+the height of some of these structures.
+
+MARISHA: Like New York compared to L.A.?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s a good way to put it.
+Rexxentrum is still easily twice the size of this
+
+city. As you make your way outside of the
+Pentamarket, and it’s called this because central
+
+to Zadash, a number of the streets that bisect it
+naturally carved a pentagonal shape and the
+
+interior between all these streets has since
+become the center of most merchant business, and
+
+there’s a bazaar set up in the center of that
+penta-shape, where carts and tents and buildings
+
+are out there all day, every day. It’s an open
+market. As you’re making your way through the
+
+rain, some of them are closing early. Some of them
+are closing up because of the weather, and it’s
+
+not going as well as most days would when it isn’t
+so freezing. You can see your breath escaping from
+
+you with each exhale. You ask around a bit. Make
+an investigation check, as you’re guiding the troupe.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 13 plus four is 17.
+
+MATT: Easy enough. You ask around. You see a few
+folks that seem to be locals, or at least who
+
+often find their way through this district. They
+lead you over towards a large building of stained
+
+wood and green-gold velvet hanging on the outside.
+The first thought is, that velvet’s going to get
+
+ruined in this rain! As you approach the exterior
+of it, the building is untouched. It is dry. You
+
+do glance up, and you can see, carved delicately
+into a wood placard above the doors, which are
+
+currently closed, but little slips of glass in
+each door reveal a warm, lit interior that’s
+
+glowing from the inside out. It says, The
+Invulnerable Vagrant.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb. I think this is going to be where
+you’re going to stock up on your incense and some
+
+other goodies.
+
+LIAM: Yes, yes. I won’t be long. Excuse me. And I
+just push in.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to find mulled wine. It’s
+cold, and I want to be warm.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll join in that.
+
+LAURA: I want to try to sell the glaive here, if
+it’s magic. If they sell magical weapons at this place.
+
+MATT: Okay. Who’s entering?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll go in, too.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll wait back.
+
+SAM: I’ll go in as well.
+
+MATT: You guys staying out?
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll watch the cart and we’re going to
+take the cart to find some mulled wine.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you enter the interior of the
+building, it’s warm. It’s very warm, and it’s a
+
+nice change of pace. You immediately throw your
+cloak back as the temperature shift causes you –
+
+everyone but you, actually, you’re pretty
+comfortable in the cold– to immediately throw
+
+your heavy layers back. On the immediate entry,
+you can see there’s lanterns all throughout the
+
+chamber that are hanging up above, flickering
+candlelight, but they all flicker like there’s
+
+wind when there’s none. You also notice that all
+of them are floating. They’re little glass
+
+chambers that contain the candle and they’re all
+slowly gyrating, held in place. Inside the chamber
+
+you can see a long table that has a few small
+books laid out. On a velvet raised platform
+
+there’s a long blade, like a rapier of some kind.
+It looks jeweled and gorgeous. In the back there
+
+appears to be a shelf with books and books and
+books with a desk. You see three figures, two of
+
+which are facing away behind the desk. The one
+that is closest to you turns around to make your
+
+appearance. You see a large, seven-foot tall
+humanoid figure. Short, bushy, curly brown hair
+
+fros up a little bit. The body is very fine
+grayish brown fur. And their nose is wide almost
+
+like a cow or a bull’s nose across a human face.
+The chin’s a bit square and the physicality is
+
+hunched and there’s just a big smile on the face.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry. Yes. I’ve not been in this big
+a city in a while.
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. 20.
+
+MATT: You have not encountered this folk before in
+your travels. It’s rare to see them ingrained in
+
+society this close. Firbolgs–
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Firbolgs?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, firbolgs.
+
+MATT: Yeah, they are usually a more nature-based,
+free-spirited people that live more towards the
+
+mountains of the northern forests in the Greying
+Wildlands and beyond. To see one here in society
+
+catches you off-guard, let alone one that’s
+dressed so well. You can see these long elegant
+
+robes of deep green and gold and this big smile on
+his face as he spins around. “Yes. I’m happy to
+
+help you.”
+
+LIAM: DM. Sorry. Before I engage in this. You say
+I’ve never encountered these, but I’ve read a lot.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You know of them.
+
+LIAM: I know of them. This is my first encounter.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Dive in.
+
+LIAM: Hello. Wow. Look at those horns. I’m so
+sorry. You know, I have never– Forget it. I am
+
+looking for–
+
+I have been in the woods for so long, I’m so happy
+to be in a metropolis again. I need ink.
+
+MATT: “Before we can get to that, I just have to
+say you’re, respectfully, terribly filthy. And
+
+this is an establishment that I have to insist
+requires some more cleanliness.” As he waves his
+
+hand in front of you, you watch as all the dirt on
+your coat just begins to sift away. Your clothing
+
+becomes clean right up the front of you reaching
+up towards your neck. The dirt begins to fleck
+
+away across your face.
+
+LIAM: I’m tilting. I’m arching my face.
+
+MATT: As you fight it, a moment passes and you see
+before you for the first time since you’ve met, a
+
+sparkly clean Caleb.
+
+SAM: Caleb?! What have you done to him?! What have
+you done to Caleb?!
+
+MATT: “Oh, you’re just an excitable little friend
+there, aren’t you?” This giant hand goes down and
+
+pats you on the head.
+
+SAM: Ah! It’s gentle.
+
+LIAM: I don’t see. I have no idea.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, you’re beautiful!
+
+MATT: At this point, the two other figures in the
+back turn around and it’s the same guy.
+
+LIAM and SAM: What?!
+
+MATT: There’s two more of the same firbolg. The
+same outfit. Same exact visual. They both go,
+
+“Hi!” “Hi.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, this is a little off-putting.
+
+LAURA: I Invoke Duplicity.
+
+MATT: “Ho, ho, ho! Well, that’s just impressive.”
+
+LAURA: You’re impressive!
+
+MATT: He reaches out and puts his hand out to
+shake your hand. “What’s your name?”
+
+LAURA: Jester.
+
+MATT: “And what’s your name?”
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s Jester #2.
+
+MATT: It goes through her hand.
+
+LAURA: I know. I’m sorry about that.
+
+MATT: “Oh, that’s an illusion. Okay. I’m Enchanter
+Pumat Sol. And this–” “I am also Enchanter Pumat
+
+Sol.” And the third one goes, “I myself am also
+Enchanter Pumat Sol.”
+
+LIAM: First question that I have for you, Pumats.
+
+MATT: “The fourth one’s in the back.”
+
+LIAM: Pumat Sol, is there one of you and this is
+fun and games or you are–?
+
+MATT: “There’s the prime Pumat Sol and the three
+of us are what you would call magically manifested
+
+duplicates to aid in his work.”
+
+LIAM: Understood. Well, I only came here for
+business, so–
+
+MATT: “Well! Welcome to the establishment: The
+Invulnerable Vagrant greets all of you humbly.”
+
+LIAM: I am finding it very hard to concentrate at
+the moment, but I know that I need paper and the
+
+most expensive ink you have.
+
+MATT: “Oh, we have both of those things, come with
+me.” He turns around and you can see now as he
+
+turns around his head is about to smack into one
+of these candles and he just– knowing where it
+
+is. He’s been so practiced, he just ducks under it
+and continues walking toward the back. “He needs
+
+some–” “Oh I heard him.” He turns around and
+takes down a couple of inkwells and sets them in
+
+front. The other one is pulling out stacks of
+paper and parchment and is stacking them up, and
+
+they set them there. “All right, so how much do
+you need of how much of each?”
+
+LIAM: You know–
+
+MARISHA: This guy’s our new Gilmore, you guys!
+
+LIAM: I am not seducing this person.
+
+MATT: You say this now!
+
+LIAM: Touché!
+
+MARISHA: Five hundred hours later we’re fighting
+gods with him!
+
+LIAM: I need your most fine arcane ink and I also
+need your finest paper. I need about 150 gold
+
+worth of materials. Is that too much to ask?
+
+MATT: “No, that’s comparably, respectfully, a
+paltry sum. We can get that paper to you. When you
+
+say ink, I have to specify: do you want ink that’s
+used in the ritualistic design and presentation of
+
+arcane symbols, scribes, and glyphs? Or you
+looking for ink that itself is actually enchanted
+
+for various uses and manifestation?”
+
+LIAM: No. I pull two scrolls out of my pack. I
+have these. I found them in my journeys and I want
+
+to make them a part of my repertoire.
+
+MATT: “Oh, that’s some wizard stuff. Okay, we can
+do that.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: He goes ahead and they muster the paper and
+ink that will easily be utilized for scribing.
+
+LIAM: Matt, I love you so much.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: So glad we’re not really outside, we’re
+only physically outside. We get to be at the
+
+table, and it’s so nice!
+
+TRAVIS: Enchanter Pumat Sol, do you have any
+health potions we might be able to acquire from you?
+
+MATT: “We have a few in stock, actually. You want
+to–” and he’s like “I’m already on it.” Then he
+
+turns around and pulls out a large, eight vial
+collecting case that he sets on the table. “That’s
+
+one there. And there’s another. We’ve got a
+variety of vials at your disposal, so let us know
+
+what you’re looking for.”
+
+TRAVIS: How much would a greater healing potion
+run me?
+
+MATT: “That? Let’s see here. That would put you
+back about 200 gold pieces for a single vial.”
+
+TRAVIS: How about one of the more basic healing
+potions?
+
+MATT: “A general?”
+
+TRAVIS: A general, yes.
+
+MATT: “That’ll put you at a simple 50 gold
+pieces.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take one of those.
+
+MATT: “It would be my pleasure, Mr. Green Man.”
+
+SAM: I think I’ll buy–
+
+MATT: “What’s your name, by the way?”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+MATT: “Fjord. Pleasure to meet you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Nice to meet you.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect your
+invitation there. What’s your name?”
+
+SAM: I’m Nott! I’m just Nott! Hi! Nice to meet
+you!
+
+MATT: “Nice to meet you.”
+
+SAM: You’re large!
+
+MATT: “You’re small.”
+
+SAM: Can I have one? I’ll have two of those
+potions, if you don’t mind.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+SAM: Is there a discount for two?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+SAM: That would be zero.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, but this is a business. No
+discounts, but we’re happy to sell for the price
+
+of 50 gold apiece.”
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll take two.“
+
+MATT: "All righty, thank you very much.”
+
+LAURA: Enchanter Purvon– Permansol?
+
+MATT: “Pumat Sol.”
+
+LAURA: Pooman Sol.
+
+SAM: Pumat.
+
+LAURA: Pumat Sol.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like “Poor Matt’s soul.”
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Poor Matt’s soul!
+
+MARISHA: It feels very meta.
+
+LAURA: Do you guys deal in magical weapons here?
+
+MATT: “We deal with all sorts of enchanted items.”
+He turns as one of the other guys over there goes,
+
+“I’ve got it. We have all manner of objects that
+we’ve crafted, enchanted, and designed.”
+
+LAURA: Would you like to buy this?
+
+MATT: “Oh, are you looking to sell or trade?”
+
+LAURA: It depends on how much you want to pay for
+it.
+
+MATT: “Well, let’s go ahead and clear off.” He
+takes the vials off the counter and they set a
+
+space, and the three of them sit around. You hear
+this voice behind this thick curtain go, “Is
+
+anybody able to help me here for a minute?” “Right
+there. The two of you, continue this.” One of them
+
+goes in the back room to help the fourth one.
+
+LAURA: Does the fourth one look just like you?
+
+MARISHA: There’s a fourth?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, there’s four of them.
+
+MARISHA: I thought there was three.
+
+MATT: “That’s Pumat Prime. He’s the real guy. But
+anyway, let’s have a look at this.” You put down
+
+the glaive, you said? “This isn’t too bad.” Hand
+me the item card.
+
+LAURA: Fleshrender.
+
+LIAM: Meanwhile, I take every gold piece I have in
+a little sack, plus 20 silver, which is exactly
+
+150, and I am out of money.
+
+MATT: With that, they happily pass over to you
+your purchased parchment and ink.
+
+TRAVIS: How much is that glaive worth?
+
+MATT: “This is pretty well made for being such a
+ghastly-looking design. I think it could easily
+
+use some fine gold gilding, maybe some extra
+polishing. Put some ribbons on it and this thing
+
+would be a great ceremonial piece. The manticore
+spines I think are a little garish, personally,
+
+but if you’re looking to sell, we could give this
+to you for about 300 gold.”
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LIAM: That is a 17.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+SAM: What are you insighting?
+
+LAURA: To see if he’s–
+
+MARISHA: Giving a good deal.
+
+LIAM: I looked at the paper, motherfucker.
+
+TALIESIN: (whispering) I’m going to kill you.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Seven days.
+
+LAURA: I feel like this guy’s a good guy.
+
+SAM: You just died.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I have to make a new character, guys,
+I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: What do you think, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I think that he’s just dealing with used
+items.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know what that means.
+
+LIAM: You could work him for a little bit, not a
+lot.
+
+MATT: “Mind you, if we’re doing it for trade,
+prices can be a little more in your favor, but
+
+understand, I’m a business for profit.”
+
+LAURA: You said it needs a little decoration. I
+take the ribbon off my horn and I wrap it around
+
+the handle and I tie it on. What about now?
+
+MATT: “That’s adorable. And I’m not going to lie,
+I like it better.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “302 gold. But for trade, I’ll probably be
+able to muster a little more. What are you looking for?”
+
+LAURA: We are looking for something that can hold
+a lot of doughnuts in it, and also maybe some
+
+other things that are heavy.
+
+MATT: “Let me have a look here and see what we can
+muster. You’re looking for something that could–
+
+you traveling type? Is that right?”
+
+SAM: Yes. Like a briefcase of carrying.
+
+MATT: “A briefcase of carrying?”
+
+SAM: A backpack of–
+
+TRAVIS: A knapsack of–
+
+LIAM: A short case of–
+
+TALIESIN: A clutch of objects.
+
+MARISHA: A handbag of endless bottom.
+
+LIAM: A cheat code, if you will.
+
+MATT: “I’ll tell you what. If you give me this
+here majestic weapon, with the ribbon included,
+
+and an additional 200 gold pieces on top of that
+trade, I can just go ahead–” and the other guy
+
+who’s wandered away goes, “We can take this here
+fantastic haversack off the wall and make it yours.
+
+LAURA: Is this fantastic haversack–
+
+MARISHA: A Bag of Holding?
+
+MATT: "Let me show you.” He sets it down, and it’s
+this–
+
+MARISHA: Is he beating us at our own game?
+
+MATT: It’s a backpack with a bunch of various
+pouches and things that are latched onto it.
+
+There’s two side pouches on it beyond the big
+central one. He opens it up, takes the glaive,
+
+and, “Watch this!” and it disappears into it. He
+reaches in, pulls the glaive out.
+
+LAURA: Whoa. That’s pretty cool.
+
+SAM: That looks like the thing that we need.
+
+MATT: It sticks in there. The big, central pouch.
+He goes, “The side ones don’t carry as much, but
+
+the central side of it does manage to carry about
+eight cubic feet of material in an
+
+extra-dimensional space to call it whenever you
+require it. Two cubic feet for both of the side
+
+pouches. I enchanted it. Well, he enchanted it. We
+sell it.”
+
+LAURA: If we make this deal, does it come with a
+regular healing potion inside of it, maybe?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+MARISHA: Regular potion, regular potion.
+
+LIAM: Come on, La.
+
+SAM: I mean, that’s cocked a little bit.
+
+LAURA: It is a little cocked, but barely cocked.
+Ten.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate your gusto. Were perhaps we
+had more of a business relationship together, I
+
+would consider such a deal, but as this is the
+first real transaction and time in which we have
+
+encountered you and your band of once-filthy
+travelers, I’m going to have to decline.”
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, Wand of Smiles. What about for the
+wand, too?
+
+LAURA: I really like it.
+
+SAM: It’s a good wand. It’s a good stick.
+
+LAURA: It is a real good stick. I’m going to keep
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: You might need a good laugh.
+
+TALIESIN: I can think of uses for that. I’m not
+here, goddamn it.
+
+SAM: We need that sack!
+
+LIAM: Jester. Shits and giggles or utility, is the
+question here.
+
+LAURA: Utility here, I’m buying this sack for all
+of us here.
+
+SAM: We need this sack to keep our stuff in it.
+
+LIAM: You have enough gold to cover it?
+
+LAURA: Of course. And don’t worry, once my mom
+sends me my care package, we’ll have thousands
+
+upon thousands of gold.
+
+MATT: “So is that a deal?”
+
+LAURA: 200 gold for this beautiful bag. But! I
+feel like it could be a little prettier. Is there
+
+anything you can do to make it prettier for us?
+
+MATT: “Give me just a moment.” He turns around and
+disappears behind the curtain and you hear some
+
+talking. Some (inaudible conversation). Another
+one emerges from behind the curtain who has this
+
+leather band on his head with this large
+magnifying-type tool hanging in front of him with
+
+this big smile on his face. He has these thick
+leather gloves that have a bunch of runes on them.
+
+He goes, “I’m sorry, I was summoned to make
+something prettier?”
+
+LAURA: I’d really like, you know, pretty. I’m
+going to be carrying it, I’d like it to match my outfit.
+
+MATT: “What’s your favorite color?”
+
+LAURA: Pink!
+
+MATT: (Arcane incantation) He finishes and he
+watches the haversack suddenly shimmers past, and
+
+the dull, general, brown leather turns to a
+bright, vibrant pink.
+
+LAURA: Ah! It’s beautiful! 200 gold, here you go.
+
+MATT: You hand it to the one guy, who accepts it.
+“All right, good. I hope you enjoy it. I’m going
+
+to get back to work. Keep it up, me.” He goes in
+the back room. He takes the glaive off. The other
+
+guy says, “All right, thank you very much. Any
+other business you require?”
+
+LAURA: Nope.
+
+SAM: You need some pastries, but we’d need
+somewhere else.
+
+LAURA: We’ll go somewhere else for that. I doubt
+you guys sell pastries.
+
+MATT: “There’s plenty of vendors. With the raining
+outside and so late, probably hard to find
+
+pastries tonight, but fresh in the morning, just
+let your nose carry you around. The Pentamarket
+
+has plenty.”
+
+TRAVIS: I will take one extra of those potions.
+It’s such a good deal. Here’s another 50 gold.
+
+MATT: “It would be my pleasure.”
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks.
+
+LAURA: Do you know what’s the blacksmith, if the–
+where did I write it, it disappeared– the Spark
+
+Hammer Smithing would still be open right now, or
+are they going to be closed?
+
+MATT: “They’re probably still working. You can
+maybe convince them to take a conversation.”
+
+LAURA: Okie dokie. Thank you so much.
+
+MATT: “No worries. Just listen for the clanging
+and the sparks. All right, if that’s all, I wish
+
+you all adieu, come back any time. We’re happy to
+sell, buy, trade, and generally help out anyone
+
+who has money.”
+
+LAURA: Man, I want to learn that trick real bad.
+
+SAM: Which trick? Oh, the pink-ify?
+
+LAURA: No, where you make real versions of
+yourself that you get to hang out with!
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for your time.
+
+MATT: “It’s my pleasure.”
+
+TALIESIN: Did we find mulled wine? Did we find a
+wine vendor?
+
+MATT: Oh yeah. No, especially with it so cold
+outside, you can see there were two different
+
+carts that had small, pot-heated, basic alcohol
+and ciders.
+
+TALIESIN: If there were any little confectionaries
+with that too, we would have bought whatever they
+
+had left.
+
+MARISHA: We buy pastries for Jester.
+
+LIAM: Also, where in the year are we in relation
+to Winter’s Crest?
+
+MATT: Winter’s Crest is actually only celebrated
+in Tal'Dorei. It does not have cultural
+
+significance here in Wildemount. I believe you are
+three to four months out from it. I’ll have to
+
+check the calendar. You guys are just now cresting
+into the beginning of fall.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Good.
+
+MATT: As you guys step outside, you are
+immediately met by Beauregard and Molly, who have
+
+come back with some small wooden cups filled with
+heated, steaming mulled wine and a small care
+
+package of baked goods. Which would mark you guys
+off at about, I’d say total of six silver for the bunch.
+
+TALIESIN: I got it.
+
+SAM: I need the tarts.
+
+LAURA: Why do you need them? I like them.
+
+SAM: I cast spells with them. I need just a
+couple.
+
+LAURA: But I like to eat them.
+
+SAM: Okay, but I need them.
+
+TALIESIN: We bought enough for everybody.
+
+SAM: I’ll take two.
+
+LIAM: (Napoleon Dynamite voice) Jester,
+give me your tarts!
+
+LAURA: How many tarts do I have?
+
+MATT: How many did you buy?
+
+MARISHA: A solid baker’s dozen.
+
+LAURA: Then we all eat them.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: I have one.
+
+MATT: You may have to come back and buy more tarts
+in the morning.
+
+MARISHA: If you want one. Do you want one? No,
+Fjord’s good.
+
+LAURA: I have six left. That’s okay, I have six
+left.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re really bright and garish. Really
+good.
+
+LIAM: Red velvet. It’s good.
+
+LAURA: Can we say we go and try to sell some of
+this stuff, or do you guys want to do this next time?
+
+MATT: I was going to say, because you guys got to
+get going pretty soon. What we can do is we can
+
+say at this point in the evening, it looks like
+the blacksmithy is currently closed off to any
+
+sort of wares-selling. They’re in the process of
+creation. You can hear the banging, but upon
+
+knocking, they don’t stop their stride of whatever
+sort of work they’re doing inside with the anvil.
+
+The rain begins to let up a little bit. It’s still
+sprinkling, but at least the heavy downpour has
+
+subsided a bit. You make your way through the
+slushy mud pits that the streets have become,
+
+weaving your way between horses and various wagons
+being pulled through, individuals that are hooded
+
+and bundled making their way around. Eventually
+discovering the outskirts of the Leaky Tap. As you
+
+guys step into the warm interior, pulling your
+hoods back, we’ll pick up on that next week. We’ve
+
+got these guys have way too early flights to go to
+this convention tomorrow.
+
+LIAM: What time of day is it as we arrive at the
+Leaky Tap?
+
+MATT: It’s about an hour and a half past dusk.
+
+LAURA: Thank you guys for getting pastries for all
+of us. That was so sweet.
+
+SAM: Those men were incredible. The Canadians.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s the stuff they serve at the German
+Christmas markets. There’s pastry and mulled wine everywhere.
+
+TRAVIS: He is instantly at the top.
+
+LIAM: Where did those cow men come from, Matt?
+
+TRAVIS: The facial configuration, too.
+
+LIAM: Where does firbolg come from?
+
+MARISHA: One of my favorites.
+
+MATT: Just world building. Probably fever dream
+while I’m working on this stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: I wish there was more of me.
+
+MARISHA: Nyquil does some weird shit.
+
+MATT: (Pumat Sol voice) Just come back and try and
+buy and trade for more things. You know where to
+
+find them.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck, so good.
+
+LIAM: (Pumat Sol voice) Just been writing campaign
+lore for too long.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Thank you, guys. We’ll pick it up
+next week from that point, now that you’ve finally
+
+found your way to Zadash. This sprawling city.
+Thank you guys so much for being patient. Thank
+
+you for watching, I hope you enjoyed the show. Go
+visit these guys at Emerald City Comic Con if you
+
+have the opportunity. Isn’t Khary there as well,
+yeah? You can go say hi to Shakäste himself.
+
+LAURA: There’s so many people there. It’s going to
+be so much fun.
+
+LIAM: Swamp Khary Payton with CR love. Swamp him.
+
+MATT: As we do with every guest. Give him the
+Critter hug. Yeah guys, have a wonderful week,
+
+rest up, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+LAURA: Oh God!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re all a bunch of assholes!
+
+LAURA: That might be the worst one!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh man.
+
+MATT: So welcome, Travis and all of you guys.
+Before we jump into tonight’s game, let’s get
+
+through some announcements real fast, so hang
+tight with us for a moment. First and foremost
+
+tonight, our fantastic returning sponsor for this
+campaign beginning and the foreseeable future,
+
+until they decide to vanish in a puff of smoke: It
+is D&D Beyond!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Happy to have you guys! Sam, do you have a
+few words one that?
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond has a mobile app, guys, and it is
+out on beta! You can download it now at the App
+
+Store and the Google Play Store– The Apple App
+Store and the Google Play Store. And because
+
+most– well not most, but a lot of our audience is
+located in the United Kingdom, I tailored
+
+tonight’s D&D Beyond pitch to the British
+audience.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so sorry.
+
+SAM: Oi, mates! Have a butcher’s and be gobbed by
+this brand new D&D Beyond mobile app for your dog
+
+‘n’ bone!
+
+LIAM: Sorry, Kit.
+
+SAM: I know my onions on this and I ain’t all
+mouth and no trousers! It’s a real corker of an
+
+app, and you can nick yours on the Apple App Store
+and blimey, the bloody Google Play Store, too! Are
+
+you skint? Tosh! It’s free, and that’s the dog’s
+bollocks! You don’t got to be minted to get
+
+sorted. There’s nothing bent as a nine bob note
+about it. You get an ereader with the beta, and
+
+character sheets will be added in the future
+tickety-boo!
+
+LAURA: Wow!
+
+SAM: That’s a real phrase that I looked up.
+
+MATT: Of course it is.
+
+SAM: So don’t faff a dozy fortnight. You’ll be
+right gutted if you do! Oh, sweet fanny adams;
+
+don’t wag off! Search D&D Beyond at your app store
+and you’ll be jolly good chuffed about it! Oh now
+
+I’m knackered and cream crackered so I’m off to
+Bedfordshire! Pip pip!
+
+TRAVIS: Yes!
+
+MATT: Oh wow!
+
+TRAVIS: I feel like that was Masterpiece Theatre
+all at once.
+
+LIAM: I refuse to applaud that. I refuse.
+
+LAURA: I feel like that would be real hard to do
+quickly, so I’m impressed!
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam, and we’re sorry. Also, as a
+quick note for you guys, they’ve begun posting
+
+article content on DnDBeyond.com, which has been
+awesome. We’ve done video content before. Now
+
+they’re doing article content as well, editorial,
+which our very own James Haeck, who you may know
+
+helped me with the Tal'Dorei campaign guide, a
+fantastic writer and a good friend of the show, is
+
+doing stuff there now. He’s officially on board
+with D&D Beyond, and he’s doing the campaign two
+
+summaries right now for the Critical Role
+campaign. Those episode recaps will be posted
+
+every Friday! Check them out! So awesome
+congratulations to you, James, and if you haven’t
+
+checked it out, please do, because he’s amazing.
+That’s DnDBeyond.com! DND not D&D. Next up,
+
+reminder for you guys who have Amazon Prime with
+Twitch Prime. You can subscribe to any channel on
+
+Twitch for free each month. You get one which you
+can grab for free. Just connect your Amazon Prime
+
+and your Twitch account and it’s a little button
+press and there you go. That’s awesome. Talks
+
+Machina hosted by Brian W Foster, whom I’m tempted
+to mess up his name every week because apparently
+
+I really– Anyways, he hosts our fantastic Talks
+Machina wrap-up show about today’s episode next
+
+Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific here on Twitch and
+Alpha, so check it out there and check out
+
+whatever cast members show up to dish the dirt and
+shoot the shit and whatever else involves doing
+
+something and something. You got it. Daylight
+Savings Time hits the US on Sunday.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not true, is it?
+
+SAM: I didn’t know that!
+
+TALIESIN: Why would they do that?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s on the list if it’s not. I don’t
+know anymore.
+
+TRAVIS: We spring forward.
+
+LAURA: So we lose an hour.
+
+MARISHA: So we lose an hour of sleep.
+
+MATT: So check out WhenIsCriticalRole.com for an
+update on when Talks Machina and Critical Role
+
+will be live in your timezone if you aren’t lucky
+enough to be living in the Dark Ages like America
+
+is when it comes to keeping track of your time.
+
+LIAM: Also, if you’re watching this episode in
+July of 2019, you’re welcome.
+
+MATT: The podcast episode of last week’s episode
+of Critical Role is available now for all your
+
+fine downloadable podcast purposes. And there’s no
+giveaways tonight from Wyrmwood, but
+
+congratulations to our friends at Wyrmwood on the
+success of their Adventurer’s Arsenal Kickstarter
+
+and to all of the guys who supported it. It looks
+really awesome and to all the critters who
+
+supported it, thank you so much and we’ll
+hopefully be back to giving something next week.
+
+We have a couple other cool announcements. One,
+issue five of Vox Machina: Origins is out if you
+
+haven’t seen it yet.
+
+MARISHA: Oh man!
+
+TRAVIS: Beat to shit Vax on the front! It’s
+fucking awesome!
+
+MATT: It’s pretty great!
+
+SAM: I still haven’t read it! I need to!
+
+MATT: Sam! It’s really good. We’ve already gotten
+back a good portion of the art for issue six, the
+
+end of this arc, and it looks really good. If you
+haven’t had a chance, you can check it out. You
+
+can download it on ComiXology, on the Dark Horse
+Comics app, and many other places where fine comic
+
+books are sold digitally.
+
+LIAM: Laserdisc.
+
+MATT: Yes, that too. Let’s see.
+
+LAURA: I have an announcement.
+
+MATT: Yes, you do.
+
+LAURA: Is it on the list?
+
+MATT: I think it might be.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: I will be leaving late tonight,
+post-midnight, to fly out to Lexington, Kentucky.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, gross, really?
+
+MATT: Yeah, but it’ll be great. I’ll be at the
+Lexington Toy and Comic Convention to hang out
+
+with a bunch of you guys out there in Kentucky! If
+you haven’t already decided to go, and you’re in
+
+the vicinity, please come! We’ll have panels and
+signings and be around. We can hang out, swap
+
+stories, and be general nerds.
+
+LAURA: Are you leaving from here to there?
+
+MATT: I’m leaving from here to home, to pack, and
+then leaving.
+
+LAURA: You haven’t packed!
+
+MATT: I had to finish campaign prep.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, Matthew.
+
+MATT: It’s a sprint every day! It’ll be fine.
+Laura, you had an announcement.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I do! Oh my gosh, you guys,
+merchandise! Number one, the tarot cards, which a
+
+lot of people have been asking about, are back in
+stock right now in the Geek & Sundry store. Number
+
+two and three, check out these fabulous, fabulous
+T-shirts!
+
+SAM: These are new T-shirts!
+
+LAURA: Look at this, our throwback shirt! And we
+redid our logo shirt in new sophisticated–
+
+TALIESIN: Darkest timeline Critical Role. Critical
+Role darkest timeline.
+
+LAURA: If you’re looking for them, they’re not in
+the store now. We wanted to announce them–
+
+SAM: Wait, they’re not?
+
+LAURA: I know. They’re going to be available next
+Thursday. We’re announcing them right now so that
+
+those of you that don’t see this live–
+
+MARISHA: People on YouTube always get mad at us.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a little love to YouTube. Now
+you’ve got four days to figure your stuff out.
+
+TRAVIS: Think about the Europes and the other
+places that are asleeps.
+
+MARISHA: Those people you just addressed.
+
+LAURA: They’re going to be there on Thursday next
+week.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Thank you, Laura.
+
+LAURA: Thanks, everybody, for talking over my
+fucking announcement.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay.
+
+MATT: You got this, Travis. This is all you.
+
+TRAVIS: I know.
+
+MARISHA: Pregnant rage.
+
+LIAM: You son of a bitch!
+
+TRAVIS: (pretend cries) You want some pickle
+juice?
+
+MATT: Last but not least, we have a cool
+announcement for an upcoming event. For those of
+
+you who are in, around, or planning to visit
+Chicago in April for C2E2, I think pretty much the
+
+whole cast, aside from Ashley who will be filming,
+will all be there for Critical Role panels,
+
+signing events, all that fun stuff. In Chicago,
+April 7th on Saturday and April 8th on Sunday,
+
+we’ll be there to party in Chicago.
+
+TRAVIS: Panels and autographs. We loved the
+critters that came out to Seattle. Chicago, it’s
+
+time to represent.
+
+SAM: I want to taste some bratwurst.
+
+MATT: That can be done.
+
+SAM: Some beers. I want some Chicago-style pizza.
+
+MATT: Bring all those for Sam at the signing.
+
+LAURA: By the way, this isn’t an announcement, but
+I think it’s important, that I only chose from
+
+dice that were given to me in Seattle for my dice
+that I was rolling tonight.
+
+TALIESIN: I may have picked from the remains,
+carrion-like, as well.
+
+LIAM: I would like to announce a small amount of
+progress for Laura Bailey, who resisted the urge
+
+to keep a super cool d20 for herself, which she
+wanted to do. She gave it to me.
+
+LAURA: I was ordered to, so yes.
+
+LIAM: Hopefully it stays in my bag.
+
+LAURA: Maybe.
+
+MARISHA: I have one final announcement.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Key Question just came out on Tuesday!
+It’s a show that Key and I created. We talk about
+
+Deadpool– Matt Key! Watch Alpha! For those who
+want to watch it and don’t want to pay for Alpha,
+
+you can get a free 60 days with the promo code
+“question.” There were a ton of people who
+
+responded to my tweet with the promo code in it
+saying, “Yeah, but I don’t want to have to pay for
+
+Alpha.” You need to read further down the tweet.
+I’m telling you now! Promo code Alpha– no. Promo
+
+code for Alpha: Question. 60 days. Go watch shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Roll a d20 real quick, just for that.
+
+MARISHA: Not bad, I did okay.
+
+MATT: The full schedule will be announced for us
+at C2E2 early next week. You can buy tickets at
+
+c2e2.com, and tomorrow is the deadline to order
+badges to receive them by mail, so any badge
+
+orders after that will have to be held at will
+call. Just a heads up! I think that’s the last of
+
+our announcements. With that, let’s jump in to
+tonight’s episode of Critical Role!
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Last we left off, the newly
+decided-upon title for this adventuring group was
+
+announced to Bryce, and as such you are now
+referred to as the Mighty Nein.
+
+ALL: Nein!
+
+MATT: The Mighty No, in Zemnian.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Big nope.
+
+MATT: Upon finishing your business in Alfield, you
+acquired your new cart, new horses, and found your
+
+way on the Amber Road northward for a number of
+days, making your way toward Zadash. Along the
+
+way, you had some curious naps, you found some
+cool little landmarks from a war long past, you
+
+were nearly robbed and instead shooed them off
+with cries of extreme syphilis, and then entered
+
+the gates of Zadash yourselves. Upon which, you
+briefly met a character named Ulysses, who
+
+offered, at a bit of cost, to show you around town
+for the remainder of the day. Unfortunately, the
+
+sun set within the next couple of hours, but you
+were led toward the Pentamarket, where you did a
+
+little bit of shopping, offloaded some things
+you’d acquired in your previous venture in the
+
+mines where you battled the gnolls, encountered a
+purveyor of various magical artifacts named
+
+Enchanter Pumat Sol, acquired some baked goods
+from the market, and then finished up by making
+
+your way to The Leaky Tap, where you had just
+begun to cross the threshold when we left off last
+
+week. With that, coming in out of the now-cold
+night air, mouths filled with various crumbs and
+
+residue of sweets having been consumed on the
+walk, you enter the darkened interior of The Leaky
+
+Tap. Now, The Leaky Tap itself is a simple, but
+very large tavern. You can see there’s space here
+
+for at least a dozen tables, and chairs and stools
+crowded around. While it lacks decor, it seems to
+
+have charm, with a rather ratty-looking band in
+the corner that’s playing mostly on-key. It
+
+appears that a number of people who have found
+their way– this is the Eastern Outersteads, I
+
+believe– have wandered in to spend whatever
+coppers they want to throw towards a drink to send
+
+their cares away for the evening, and/or argue
+with each other about how better to make the day
+
+before them. Upon stepping into the chamber, you
+can see there’s already about 25 patrons scattered
+
+amongst the tables, and the evening appears to be
+slowly crawling to more of a roar. There’s chatter
+
+and whispers, there’s laughter and the clanks of
+metal and glass. You can see already there’s one
+
+long bar on the far end of the room that is broken
+in the center for a number of entryway hatches,
+
+and two busied bartenders rushing back and forth.
+What do you guys want to do?
+
+SAM: I, Sam Riegel, want to go back and see Pumat
+Sol again. But that would not make narrative
+
+sense.
+
+MATT: There’s always tomorrow.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a quick case of the room? See if
+I see anybody suspicious?
+
+TRAVIS: Give them the old evil eye?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, first roll of the night.
+
+MARISHA: Perception check. Okay, that’s not too
+bad. 15.
+
+MATT: 15, okay. Glancing about, most of the
+patrons in here range from somewhat dusty,
+
+destitute clothing that looks to be torn and
+ragged at the edges. Some can be farm hands, but
+
+most of the farm work you’ve seen is done on the
+outskirts of the outer walls of Zadash, but you’ve
+
+also walked through folks in the street that sit
+on the side peddling handcrafted wares and
+
+whatever they can muster to try and make ends meet
+on the outskirts of the city proper. You notice
+
+two fairly dressed individuals compared to the
+rest that are in the process of doing a quick game
+
+of cards. You can see a large group of people that
+are just beginning to gather and keeping an eye
+
+out towards the door if anybody else they
+recognize is going to come in. Looks to be about
+
+eight or so strong, with younger half-elf woman or
+so who, as you guys enter, sees you, glances over,
+
+then shakes her head and goes back to
+conversation.
+
+SAM: Bachelorette party.
+
+MATT: Oh, straight up. You can see the whole
+banner on the–
+
+MARISHA: Penis necklaces.
+
+TRAVIS: Dick whistle. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Except this is D&D so they’re real penises.
+
+MARISHA: Gnoll penises, yeah.
+
+MATT: Cast Identify on that.
+
+LIAM: Ten gold a head.
+
+MATT: The attunement process is a little weird.
+Anyway.
+
+LIAM: I’m at a bar, that’s the way it goes.
+
+MATT: You do see one of the barkeeps leaves behind
+and gives a finger off to the other one to pick up
+
+the slack. The one leaving looks to be an elven
+woman, what would look to be the equivalent of a
+
+human 40s or so, so who knows how long her actual
+elven age is. Looks graceful, looking a bit
+
+disheveled, hair pulled back and tied into a small
+haphazard bun, simple apron, washing up her hands
+
+and toweling them off as she passes off the full
+bar to a male dragonborn. White-scaled, plump
+
+physique, he himself is wearing a similar apron
+with a big smile on his face. He seems jolly,
+
+rushing back and forth taking orders, filling
+drinks, and looks like even though he’s a bit
+
+stressed at the moment, having to take the slack,
+is handling it with a smile and is used to the
+
+usual evening ruckus.
+
+MARISHA: And so the two, the dragonborn and the
+female elven lady seem to be running the joint.
+
+MATT: They seem to be, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Copy that.
+
+TRAVIS: I figure we want some drinks and food,
+yeah?
+
+LAURA: And also we should rent some rooms.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester, it looks like there’s a game
+of cards going on over there.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay, I will–
+
+MARISHA: Just tossing it out there.
+
+LAURA: I will do that.
+
+MARISHA: You don’t have to take my–
+
+TRAVIS: Or you could eat first; we’ve been
+traveling–
+
+LAURA: I’m gone.
+
+LIAM: I saw that you were eyeballing the room.
+Alles gut?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LIAM: Everything is good?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s fine. Yeah. Seems like a room.
+People in it.
+
+LIAM: That is accurate.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Sir, can I bother you for a second?
+
+MATT: At that point, and hand comes up and he
+goes, “Excuse me, just a moment.” Fills up two
+
+tankards on the side, slides them down a bit,
+grabs a couple silver, pockets it, comes back.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s busy.
+
+MATT: Turns back to you, and maybe a good solid
+inch or two taller than you, a burly-looking
+
+dragonborn–
+
+TRAVIS: (whistles)
+
+LAURA: He’s not that tall. You’re not Grog
+anymore.
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s that?
+
+MATT: With a dangerous-looking front of the snout,
+that as soon as it spins to you and he looks at
+
+you with this big, toothy grin, you can see scars
+in areas where it’s been split in the past. This
+
+guy’s seen some rough action in his past. But as
+soon as the large dragon mouth curls up into this
+
+smile, the golden yellow eyes peeking from behind
+these stark white scales, themselves look a bit
+
+dusty–
+
+LIAM: White scales?
+
+MATT: Yes. “Right, so what can I do for you?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, can we just grab any booth or table
+that’s available? We’re looking for some food and
+
+drink this evening.
+
+MATT: “Oh food and drink, I can go ahead and get
+started, at least get the order in the kitchen.
+
+Pick a table, sit a spell, rack up. You paying up
+front, or you like a tab?”
+
+TRAVIS: I think a tab. Yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: A tab with a conversation of possible
+rooms for rent later.
+
+MATT: “Oh. How many rooms you looking? (louder)
+I’ll be right with you, hold your shit! Yes?”
+
+MARISHA: How many rooms you got?
+
+MATT: Looks under the counter real fast. Pulls out
+a small board.
+
+TRAVIS: Three rooms.
+
+MATT: “Oh, we got plenty, we’ve got like seven of
+them open. Three rooms, and a tab under the
+
+name–”
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: Nein.
+
+SAM: Just Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: Nein will do.
+
+MATT: “There’s six of you.”
+
+TALIESIN: N-I-E-N, Nein.
+
+MATT: “Oh, Zemnian. Fucking weird. All right.”
+
+LIAM: It is one of the languages of the country.
+
+SAM: It’s a lovely language.
+
+MARISHA: What was your name?
+
+MATT: “Me? I’m Wessek the Trim.”
+
+MARISHA: Wessek the Trim.
+
+LIAM: Good name.
+
+SAM: We have the same middle name!
+
+MATT: “Purveyor of the bar here–”
+
+TALIESIN: Is he, in fact, trim?
+
+MATT: No, he is a plump dragonborn.
+
+TALIESIN: Just checking if it was an ironic
+nickname or not.
+
+MATT: He has lived a happy midlife. “I’m purveyor
+of drinks and keeper of food here at the Leaky
+
+Tap. Happy to get your food orders in, get some
+drinks to your table. Sit back, relax. There’s
+
+usually a show at some point in the night.”
+
+LAURA: I’m hopping over to the card game.
+
+SAM: I’m going to tag along beside her. Hey, do I
+see any other goblins in this bar?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Two.
+
+MATT: No. In fact, from your height, just a lot of
+bums.
+
+LAURA: A lot of butts.
+
+MATT: A whole lot of butts in there.
+
+SAM: I’m going to assume that I’m okay then.
+
+TRAVIS: Any other half-orcs in this bar?
+
+MATT: You do not see any half-orcs in this bar. As
+you go over to the table, the two gentlemen who
+
+are playing cards, you sit down and glance. One of
+them looks to be an older man in his 50s or so,
+
+his pattern baldness curling back, but has this
+curled mush of brown, now graying, hair on the
+
+outskirts of it. He’s wearing a billowing shirt of
+a nicer silk. That’s why it caught your eye. These
+
+two seem, not extremely well-off by any means, but
+at least better than a lot of the other riff-raff
+
+that are finding their way in, including you
+guys.
+
+LAURA: My dress is nice, I don’t know what you’re
+talking about.
+
+MATT: Your dress is pretty nice, you’re right.
+That’s true. The other one is in the process of
+
+heavily concentrating on his hand. This one looks
+a lot younger. He has this scraggly mustache. It
+
+looks like he’s probably been growing it since
+childhood, and has let it go in its glory. He has
+
+a button-up high collar bit and a cravat that has
+loosened and fallen. Both of these gentlemen, upon
+
+a closer look, look like they’re dressing up
+beyond their station, and at the end of the night
+
+have come to alleviate their stresses with drink
+and yelling at each other over cards.
+
+LAURA: Hop, hop. I sit down.
+
+MATT: “Yes?”
+
+LAURA: What are we playing? Are we playing Go
+Fish, or War, or–
+
+MATT: They both stop mid-conversation and glance
+over. “We’re playing whatever suits us at the
+
+moment. We’re in the midst– ”
+
+LAURA: What is suiting you right now?
+
+MATT: “Well, we are in the moment finishing a
+quick game of poker. If you would be so kind as to
+
+leave us to our game in peace, that would be
+appreciated.”
+
+LAURA: I will play with you! I’m not very good, so
+you can take so much money from me.
+
+MARISHA: Yes! Grift it, girl!
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: I am watching this from the table. This
+is the show.
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. The younger one, who was talking to you,
+glances over to the older gentleman, who’s in the
+
+process of glancing back, and they take a moment
+and they both look back to you together. “I
+
+suppose, if you want to buy in, then that is your
+choice.”
+
+LAURA: You can finish your game though, I’ll just
+watch.
+
+MATT: They wordlessly continue the game. They
+begin arguing over the process of rising prices
+
+between irons coming down from the Druvenlode
+city, which is one of the larger mining cities in
+
+the empire. They begin to also discuss the quality
+of alcohol, seems to be diminishing the more they
+
+drink. Eventually, with one final hand, the
+younger one slaps down his cards, and the older
+
+one in frustration goes, “Fine! You win.”
+
+LAURA: I applaud the younger guy. What do you want
+to play, Nott? Do you want to play?
+
+SAM: I’ll just watch for now. Do you want me go
+get you a drink and bring it back, or are you
+
+okay?
+
+LAURA: No, unless you want to get some milk.
+
+SAM: I’ll just watch for now.
+
+LAURA: Okay. What is the buy-in?
+
+MATT: “What do you wish to play?”
+
+LAURA: What do you wish to play?
+
+MATT: For the sake of ease of the sudden card
+game, he looks around at the other guy. “Do you
+
+know the Crick-Queen’s Call?”
+
+LAURA: I do! I love it, this is the one I was
+telling you about!
+
+SAM: You were?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, remember, with the three cards?
+
+SAM: Oh, yes, I remember.
+
+LAURA: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
+
+MATT: “Very well, then.” He goes to shuffle the
+cards rather rapidly before he begins dealing out
+
+the early sets.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it a clean shuffle?
+
+MATT: You may make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: I would watch that, too. Are you watching
+this?
+
+TALIESIN: Nope, I don’t see shit.
+
+LAURA: I would be watching this, too, because I’m
+kind of a–
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: A question. Is there any rafters, or any
+high place in the room behind these gentlemen?
+
+MATT: There are rafters, yeah. It’s not a very
+high peaked ceiling. The actual roofing element of
+
+this, at least, begins about twelve feet up, and
+there’s a small space before the beams meet the
+
+top.
+
+LIAM: For the moment I scootch Frumpkin down to the
+floor and send him off towards behind these
+
+gentlemen to hang around under that spot, for the
+moment.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: 22 perception.
+
+MATT: It seems to be a clean shuffle, and a clean
+deal.
+
+LAURA: Do we put two gold in, or some silver?
+
+MATT: Both the guys look at each other again,
+their eyes a little wide. “Two gold would suffice,
+
+yes. Of course.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: He strokes his way-too-soft mustache.
+
+TRAVIS: Not-all-there mustache.
+
+LIAM: Nott, I think you’re too young to be
+watching this. You should come sit with me over
+
+here.
+
+SAM: It’s very fascinating, though.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s a bad idea. You’re too little for
+gambling.
+
+LAURA: You’re not too little, Nott, you’re not.
+
+SAM: She doesn’t think I am, but if Caleb says so,
+then I should go with Caleb. Good luck!
+
+LIAM: Use your skill.
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+MARISHA: I’m confused. Is she actually that young,
+or is that part of the game?
+
+LIAM: Come, let us go sit over here.
+
+MARISHA: Is that part of the scam?
+
+LIAM: I walked away from this one.
+
+MATT: Two gold on the table from each of you, so
+that’s six gold in the full pot. Go ahead and make
+
+your roll, 3d6.
+
+SAM: Ooh. What do you do, take the best two? What
+do you do?
+
+LAURA: No, no, no.
+
+MATT: Everyone rolls, and then you can raise your
+ante.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I’m going to try to use one of my own
+cards and try to replace one of the cards.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin climbs up into the rafters with a
+view of the gentleman’s cards.
+
+LAURA: 19.
+
+MATT: 19? Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I try to perceive this too?
+
+MATT: Sure, make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+MATT: No, you do not. They all look at their
+hands. The younger one with the mustache keeps
+
+stroking the front of his face and goes, “I’ll
+raise four.” You don’t roll yet. You have to raise
+
+first.
+
+LAURA: I thought I was trying to cheat and replace
+one of my things.
+
+MATT: Oh, you were. Yes, you’re right.
+
+LAURA: Do I get to choose what it is, or do I roll
+again?
+
+MATT: You just roll again.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I rolled it. It was shit. Okay.
+
+MATT: He goes, “Raising an additional two gold
+pieces.”
+
+LIAM: I would like to start looking at their cards
+through Frumpkin’s eyes.
+
+LAURA: I’m definitely raising two. From your two,
+I’m going to add in another three. So five extra
+
+on the table.
+
+LIAM: (quietly) Get ready to use your wire.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m pulling out my thin bit of wire and
+I’m getting ready to cast Message.
+
+TRAVIS: We just can’t have a fucking peaceful
+drink, can we? Just got to get right into shit.
+
+Okay.
+
+MATT: I know. All right. They meet your raise.
+That’s now 21 gold, I believe, on the table, so
+
+you all get to draw another card. So reroll one more.
+
+The older one–
+
+SAM: Folds?
+
+MATT: No, he stays.
+
+LAURA: Okay. The younger one?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That’s a 21.
+
+MATT: 21. Yeah, you can see.
+
+LAURA: I’ll cover my ears so I don’t know.
+
+SAM: You’re about to know when I whisper it to
+you.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. Never mind.
+
+MATT: The younger one has a crap hand. He’s trying
+to bluff and he’s already sweating a bit. The
+
+older one is looking really good.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Tell our friend that Mr. Mustache is
+sitting pretty and the young boy has Scheiße.
+
+MATT: Well, the mustache is the younger one. The
+older one is–
+
+LIAM: Reverse that order please. Also, I would
+like the curly fries.
+
+SAM: I point to her and whisper in my bit of
+copper wire and do a little hand gesture, and say
+
+all of that to her. The young one’s bluffing! The
+old one’s got a sick hand! He’s going to burn you!
+
+Burn you good!
+
+LAURA: Hmm. I’m going to sleight of hand and try
+and replace one of my cards.
+
+TRAVIS: Jesus! In one game?
+
+MATT: All right, so go attempt it again. Go and
+roll a deception– or sorry sleight of hand.
+
+LAURA: Oh god.
+
+MATT: You guys are so honed in on this!
+
+LAURA: Oh, 16?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no.
+
+MATT: The young guy is sweating a bit and he gets
+more nervous. He just continues to stroke his
+
+little caterpillar mustache, quicker and smaller
+bits. The older guy who seems to be playing rather
+
+spacey the whole time suddenly zooms in on your
+hands and goes, “I do say, I think we’re being
+
+had.”
+
+LAURA: What, by who?
+
+MATT: He leans forward and pulls one of the cards
+that you had slipped into your sleeve, out onto
+
+the table.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s weird where did that come from?
+I shouldn’t wear such loose sleeves, you guys.
+
+That was really obvious.
+
+MATT: The old guy stands up and leans forward. You
+can see he has this bloodshot corners, a little
+
+bit where the white show for deep brown irises.
+The smell of alcohol and dirt wafts off of him as
+
+he leans forward. “I will not report you for
+cheating, but we will taking the rest of the pot.”
+
+LAURA: Wait, cheating? What are you talking
+about?
+
+MATT: He just takes the coins and scoops them up.
+
+LAURA: Wait, I thought that was part of the game.
+Is it not?
+
+MATT: They get up and leave.
+
+LAURA: Motherfuckers, they took my money.
+
+SAM: Did you win?
+
+LAURA: Yes Nott, I won real good.
+
+SAM: I knew you would.
+
+LAURA: I only lost seven gold. That was a lot of
+fun, you guys. That was a good trick with the
+
+messages!
+
+SAM: It didn’t seem to help very much, though.
+
+LAURA: No, but it would have if I had succeeded in
+these– gosh I really need to get tighter sleeves,
+
+though.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but that one had potential.
+
+LAURA: Molly, you have to teach me how to do that
+better, okay?
+
+TRAVIS: She wants to play again, right now.
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: What? I said you want to play again, don’t
+you?
+
+LAURA: (laughing) So bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah Laura’s dying on the inside.
+
+LAURA: (yells)
+
+SAM: Should we follow them outside and kill them?
+
+LAURA: Ooh. No, probably not.
+
+TALIESIN: That doesn’t seem very nice.
+
+LIAM: Why don’t instead we have something to drink
+and eat.
+
+TRAVIS: I agree with you 100%.
+
+LAURA: You know what else we should do?
+
+TALIESIN: Follow them outside and rob them?
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, come on now.
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Did we get rooms?
+
+TALIESIN: We did get rooms.
+
+LAURA: Yay. Are we roommates?
+
+MARISHA: Roomies!
+
+MATT: Dinner arrives, drinks have been provided.
+You guys are able to use your meal and figure out
+
+who you want to talk to, what you want to do, your
+business.
+
+LAURA: We should look for Claudia.
+
+SAM: We were told that there was Claudia Sheet
+here.
+
+LAURA: Sheed.
+
+SAM: Sheed. Sheedy. Ally Sheedy is here.
+
+MARISHA: Oh I love her.
+
+TRAVIS: Sheed or Sheen?
+
+MATT: Sheed.
+
+SAM: Charlie Sheen.
+
+LIAM: Only I get to say Schiet, you have to say
+Sheed.
+
+SAM: She’s probably the elven woman working at the
+bar since we were told she works here, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Claudia Sheed?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Claudia Sheed.
+
+LAURA: Let’s ask about–
+
+TALIESIN: (yelling) Claudia Sheed!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, go get her, Molly.
+
+MATT: As you’re shouting this out, some people
+start looking over, curious as this very
+
+ostentatiously dressed tiefling starts shouting
+essentially the owner of the tavern out in the
+
+center of the tavern. No one seems to make any
+physical action towards it. However, Wessek points
+
+over towards you. “Oh, she took some time off.
+She’s up in her office, sorry.”
+
+TALIESIN: Brilliant, thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: That was very effective.
+
+TALIESIN: I normally find shouting people’s names
+really loudly tends to bring them to your table.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. I wonder where her office is.
+
+LAURA: We could ask.
+
+TALIESIN: We could look. Have we had food and
+drink yet?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys have eaten. And now you’re in
+the process– you don’t have to roleplay every meal.
+
+(various eating noises)
+
+TRAVIS: Nott has to roleplay every meal.
+
+LIAM: What time of the evening do I know it to
+be?
+
+MATT: At this point, it’s probably pushing close
+to ten o'clock.
+
+LIAM: Ja, okay.
+
+MATT: The sun’s been set for a couple hours.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s late. It’s not that late.
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody feel like going up and giving ole
+Claudia a door rap, at her office?
+
+LIAM: I thought you were going somewhere else, for
+a second.
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m interested either way. So I’m going
+to stand up and start heading upstairs.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m bored. Let’s go.
+
+TALIESIN: Come, Unpleasant One, let’s go.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Obnoxious One, I’m with you.
+
+MATT: There’s a brief spiral staircase towards the
+far back that leads to a landing and then the
+
+second floor. From the outside, you could see
+there were three floors to it. So this probably
+
+progresses– there’s another staircase further
+down the hallway. From the landing up there,
+
+there’s a single doorway that is currently closed.
+It has no name on it, but it stands alone from the
+
+rest of it, and it seems to be in the direction as
+to where Wessek was pointing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to look for what looks like an
+office. For whatever door seems most inconvenient.
+
+MATT: At a quick glance, the one on the landing.
+
+TALIESIN: The one on the landing it is.
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: (click and knock the same
+pattern)
+
+SAM: What the fuck was that?
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, y'all.
+
+MATT: We’ve been hanging out far too long. This is
+a problem. There’s a moment. “Yes, who is it?”
+
+TALIESIN: Friends from out of town.
+
+MATT: “More information, please.”
+
+TALIESIN: Bryce sent us.
+
+MATT: “Bryce who?”
+
+LAURA: Bryce from Alfield.
+
+SAM: You’re not there.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I am. We went up there, I thought.
+
+MARISHA: Crownsguard Bryce.
+
+TALIESIN: From Alfield.
+
+MATT: “All right, just a moment, please.” About 30
+or so seconds pass and the door opens, and the same
+
+elven woman you saw leave from behind the bar
+earlier. However, the disheveled appearance you saw
+
+earlier is gone, is pristine, clean and the hair
+is immaculately combed and pulled up into a high
+
+bun, wearing a deep maroon, almost a silk robe
+that is pulled over, arms across.
+
+LAURA: I was desanitizing him.
+
+MATT: Oh, fair enough. “So you are friends of
+Bryce.”
+
+TALIESIN: We have come from very far to take a look–
+
+MARISHA: Converse.
+
+TALIESIN: Converse.
+
+MARISHA: Right?
+
+MATT: “Well, they are a very good friend. And if
+you are friends of them, then you are friends of
+
+“mine. I ask you to enter for the time being and
+perhaps we can get to know each other, I suppose,
+
+"if you have business. Enter, please.” She turns and
+whips around and heads back inside. This office is
+
+a simple office. When you consider most of the
+offices you’ve encountered have been in some level of
+
+empire clerical work, and/or in various
+institutions, this is mainly just a desk with a
+
+chair, some books and ledger information, some
+scattered papers, ink and quill, a few books on
+
+the side. Other than that, it’s pretty barren and
+simple. There is a window in the back that has a
+
+crossbeam bisecting it into four squares. It is just
+pitch black outside ‘cause the rest of it is just
+
+an alley below. Anyway, she turns around and sits
+in the chair and comes back, and crosses her hands
+
+in front of her with her elbows on the edge of the
+table. “All right, you have my attention. What can
+
+"I do for you?”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, to wrap it up a bit, we’ve just
+recently got into town. We’re looking for
+
+employment, odd jobs. We were recommended to you
+to be the person to talk to about what actually is
+
+going on in this city. We’re new to this city, we
+don’t necessarily have our thumb on the pulse of
+
+what’s going on.
+
+MATT: “You are here looking for work? Well, for
+one, if you are in need of paying work, I always
+
+"have dishes to wash. But at a quick glance at how
+you are presented as a little more capable
+
+"individuals at first glance, I would say that
+perhaps you have other skills. So I would–”
+
+MARISHA: I do the dude at a bar thing and push up
+my biceps.
+
+TRAVIS: It works.
+
+MATT: “If you are better with a blade or
+information, then checking at the King’s Hall Board
+
+"might be a solid bet for you.”
+
+TALIESIN: We just figured we would make sure that
+you were aware we were here. We don’t want to
+
+ruffle any feathers and we don’t necessarily know
+who are the right people, the wrong people to work for.
+
+MATT: “Every person you meet is the right and the
+wrong person, depending on where you are coming from.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very fair.
+
+MATT: “I guess I would ask what for you is the
+wrong type of people?”
+
+LAURA: Shitty people.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’d like to avoid entanglements
+with the law, being so new and all.
+
+MATT: “Right, then perhaps do not punch any
+crownsguard and I think you’ll be okay.”
+
+TALIESIN: Sounds easy, except it’s really not.
+
+MARISHA: It does seem like crownsguard tend to be
+assholes.
+
+TALISIN: Deeply punchable.
+
+MARISHA: Have you ever had any issues with the
+Crownsguard? We’ve heard rumors.
+
+MATT: “I mean, individuals, yes.” There’s a brief
+moment where she looks wistfully into the
+
+distance. “I’ve had my encounters, not so much
+with Crownsguard, but with other figures.”
+
+MARISHA: Do we need to kick someone’s ass for
+you?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’ve already made sure their ass has
+been thoroughly kicked.”
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe it might be wise to ask
+any particular groups to avoid while we’re here.
+
+MATT: She crosses her arms for a second.
+“Interesting point. Where are you from? Have you
+
+"always lived in the empire?”
+
+LAURA: No, I’m from– you’re from Port Damali.
+I’m from Nicodranas.
+
+MATT: “From the Menagerie Coast. You are in for a
+treat of comparably colorful times. But a probably
+
+"less jovial atmosphere in places. You know about
+the religious control, correct?”
+
+TRAVIS: We’re slightly aware.
+
+LAURA: Wait, what?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, they frown–
+
+TALIESIN: Grace of the Platinum Dragon.
+
+MATT: “There are– for well over a century now, the
+worship of various deities in the empire has been
+
+"controlled. There are shrines throughout the city.
+Most cities contain a shrine of some kind to the
+
+"approved worships. I just want to ensure that, if
+you do not fall into this realm, you do not go
+
+"flashing it about, because that will get you very
+easily put into the Umber Dungeon and that is not
+
+"a place you want to be.”
+
+LAURA: Where are these shrines that you are
+talking about?
+
+MATT: “They are scattered about. For instance,
+there is the Allhammer. Their shrine is– let me
+
+"think for a second,” as I consult my notes.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, getting the good shit right now.
+
+MARISHA: The Umber Dungeon?
+
+MATT: The Umber Dungeon. “There is the Hearth of
+the Allhammer that is existing in the Pentamarket.”
+
+LAURA: Ooh, we were just there!
+
+MATT: “Look for the domed iron structure. It may
+be a bit rusty, not in the best upkeep. It’s hard
+
+"to miss the interior with the very heavy,
+beautiful anvil, for both craftwork of those that
+
+"maintain a position. What else do you want
+to know about it? There is the Raven’s Den, which
+
+is in the center of the graveyard.”
+
+LAURA: That sounds good, too.
+
+MATT: “The Ossuary Gates is the multilayered
+catacomb graveyard. The Raven’s Den exists in the
+
+"center area of that field.”
+
+LAURA: Do the shrines usually have a lot of people
+in them?
+
+MATT: “Midday, and depending on which places of
+worship they are, yes. But there are Heralds that
+
+"run each shrine; they work for the empire. They
+hold all sermons. They give council to anybody who
+
+"requires it. It’s all pretty much within the
+government structure, yes.”
+
+TRAVIS: Are there any particular groups of people
+that are responsible for unsavory business in the
+
+city? Any identifying clothing or memorabilia they
+might have on them?
+
+MATT: “Not visibly, no. There are many people that
+work underneath the law here, but they are careful
+
+"enough, if they wish to continue business, to not
+show it. I mean, what, are you looking for that
+
+"kind of work?’
+
+TRAVIS: No, just perhaps to keep an eye out for in
+case we sought employment from the wrong type.
+
+MARISHA: You know, tourists. We have that tourist
+look.
+
+TALIESIN: Speaking of tourist looks, how much of a
+problem would this be in general?
+
+MATT: "You should be fine. It’s– you should be
+fine.”
+
+TALIESIN: Excellent.
+
+MATT: “For the most part, those of various unique
+heritages have harder times at the farther
+
+"eastern areas, around the garrisons. Those that
+have to keep the creatures of Xhorhas at bay, and
+
+"possibly historians that believe that this is the
+Curse of Ghor Dranas, but you know. For the most
+
+"part, most nobody studies history and just consider
+you either unique-looking or will avoid you regardless.”
+
+MARISHA: Wait, no one studies history, really? Do
+you not have a good public school system or
+
+something? I was just curious.
+
+MAT: “Well, if you want to go study history–” that
+would be over here. “In the Interstead Sprawl, we
+
+"do have the Apple Tree Tutor Village. That is
+three long buildings owned and provided by the
+
+"Soltryce Academy for basic learning to children
+and adults of the less affluent lifestyle for a
+
+"moderate price.”
+
+MARISHA: Like private school?
+
+MATT: If you’re looking for a comparison here, it
+would be upper-end public school, if anything.
+
+LIAM: Charter school?
+
+MARISHA: Magnet programs?
+
+MATT: Sure, we’ll put it at a charter school.
+
+LIAM: Lotteries are a bitch!
+
+MATT: But controlled by the Soltryce Academy.
+
+MARISHA: All controlled by the Soltryce.
+
+MATT: Yes. “The head tutor there is an overworked
+and relatively stressed-out individual.”
+
+TRAVIS: Head tutor, you said?
+
+MATT: “Yes. Mikael Drom. Very nice fellow. Eager
+to help, but the system has been difficult for him.”
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a shrine to the Dragon, as
+well?
+
+MATT: “There is. There is a Platinum House. That
+would also be in the Interstead Sprawl. Look for
+
+"the beautiful white building with deep blue
+tapestries on the outside. They’re reflective,
+
+"mirror-like, during the day. It’s almost a beacon
+for having to shield your eyes. Meditation,
+
+"worship, is all available within there. Sermon’s
+usually around noon.”
+
+MARISHA: You mentioned all the sanctioned shrines.
+Are there any unsanctioned shrines?
+
+MATT: “Anything that isn’t the Platinum Dragon,
+the Raven Queen, Allhammer, Dawnfather, Lawbearer,
+
+"and the Knowing Mistress.”
+
+MARISHA: So six, that’s it?
+
+MATT: “There are six.”
+
+MARISHA: Six approved gods.
+
+LAURA: All of those guys. Of course we knew about
+those guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, now, that doesn’t seem to cover
+who you’re looking for, though.
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, you know–
+
+MATT: “I don’t judge. If you worship what you want,
+you can, just be careful about it.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Don’t tell anyone.”
+
+TALIESIN: Ixnay on the angers-stray.
+
+LAURA: Okay! I won’t tell anyone.
+
+MATT: “Very well.”
+
+SAM: She’s going to tell everyone.
+
+MATT: “That’s going to help you. Anything else you
+want to know? I’ve been living here most of my life.”
+
+TRAVIS: Job postings. Anywhere we might go to–
+
+LAURA: Well, we have the King’s Hall board, yo.
+That’s where the job postings are.
+
+MATT: “King’s Hall is a good resource. If you’re
+really hit up hard and you want to try the route
+
+"that Bryce did, you can always sign up to become a
+member of the military.”
+
+TALIESIN: Eh.
+
+LAURA: Go fuck yourself! No!
+
+MATT: “It works well for some people. It pays, you
+are trained. The Righteous Brand is very helpful
+
+"and helps keep the Empire safe from the terrors
+that wander in and beyond the borders.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’re also always big fans of
+underbellies, especially if there’s an underbelly
+
+with a heart of gold.
+
+LAURA: Especially one if it’s furry and you can
+pet it.
+
+MATT: “There are plenty of underbellies, but they
+are localized, scattered, and very protective.
+
+"Keep your ears open, ask the right questions.”
+
+TALIESIN: Are there names that, if we hear, we
+should trust?
+
+MATT: “I don’t trust anybody. That’s how I’m still
+alive and that’s how I came to own this tavern.”
+
+MARISHA: Great corner office, by the way. You have
+a window!
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s great.
+
+MATT: “I had to change it a bit. The man I took it
+all from, I wanted him to leave nothing behind.”
+
+LAURA: Was he perchance named The Gentleman?
+
+MATT: There’s a quick glance in your direction.
+Her expression darkens and she goes, “No, but I
+
+"would be very careful how you use that name.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit.
+
+MARISHA: Really, now?
+
+LAURA: Do you know him?
+
+MATT: “I do not know him, but I know of him. That
+thing I said about trying not to get in trouble
+
+"with the darker elements of the city that might be
+in over your head? That is very specifically one
+
+"who wallows in that mire.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: He wallows in the underbelly shit? That’s
+what you said? That’s me asking the DM.
+
+MATT: Yes, basically, wallows in the mire of the
+underbelly shit. Sounds like a fun lyric.
+
+(singing) Wallows in the mire of the underbelly
+shit!
+
+LAURA: That’s the second verse.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, thank you for your time. I think
+we’ll find our way back down to the belly of this tavern.
+
+MATT: “Very well. I will walk you down.”
+
+LIAM: Sorry.
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+LIAM: I want to touch on something happening–
+I’m not there. We’re not there.
+
+MATT: Oh, right.
+
+LIAM: So I want to touch on something that’s
+happening at the same time, but I will wait until
+
+you think it’s a good moment.
+
+MATT: Sure. You can do it now while they’re
+exiting the office. While they’ve been in there–
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Nott and Caleb didn’t go up. They’re
+busy. Would you like to learn something interesting?
+
+SAM: A magic trick?
+
+LIAM: Sort of.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: It’s a little homework and a little bit
+magic trick. This is where I keep my spells. This
+
+is my book. And this is the piece of luck that you
+helped me achieve in Trostenwald. Over the months
+
+and years, I gather the amount of magic tricks that
+I can do. So in this book, for instance, there is
+
+a new spell that I do not even know how to use
+myself where I can make an invisible helper. What
+
+is going to happen now, I bought supplies for it–
+I find a booth for us in the corner– is I am
+
+going to move it from here into here and I thought
+you could help me. Would you like to do that?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: Okay. So you can see–
+
+SAM: Photocopying!
+
+TRAVIS: Xerox!
+
+LIAM: I don’t know what that means, but this will
+take a little while. Here, hold this. I hand a
+
+quill to her. Hold that. You can see the markings
+on this page. It’s intricate, but you can do the
+
+first few strokes. It needs to look like that, it
+needs to go here. I guide her hand a little bit to
+
+make sure that it doesn’t smudge too much. It’s
+still workable. Good. Now I will fill in the
+
+details. I spend the next– they are probably gone
+for 15 minutes– putting down the glyphs and
+
+the markings.
+
+SAM: It’s delightful!
+
+LIAM: And begin the first 30 minutes of the two
+hours I need to spend copying this.
+
+SAM: Too much. I’ll need to be plied with many
+drinks.
+
+LIAM: Oh, yeah. Sliding them over.
+
+SAM: How’s my penmanship?
+
+MATT: So far, so good. We’ll see how it
+progresses. As you guys exit the office, at the
+
+bottom of the stair, you can see that group that
+was gathering earlier, with the young girl that was
+
+looking out towards the entryway, is there waiting
+at the base of the stair.
+
+MARISHA: The bachelorette party?
+
+MATT: Yeah, the bachelorette party, if
+you will.
+
+Though it was a mixed group. As soon as
+you exit with Claudia, they notice her, notice
+
+you, and all step back for a moment and wait. As
+you step down the stairs, a young half-elf girl,
+
+freckled, auburn hair, a smudged face of a hard
+day’s work, leans forward and goes, “Terribly
+
+"sorry, Claudia. Are we good to use the cellar for
+the meeting?” “Yes, of course. It is available to
+
+"you right now. Not a problem.” She goes, “All
+right, thank you very much.” She turns around and
+
+begins gathering up the crew. You can see a few
+people at the bar, she’s slowly gathering the folk
+
+until there’s a cluster of about 20 or so. They
+all begin making their way towards where the
+
+kitchen is into a pantry area.
+
+LAURA: Are they going to have an orgy?
+
+MATT: You’re going to have to follow to find out.
+
+LAURA: I’m asking that of Claudia.
+
+MATT: Oh.
+
+SAM: Out loud.
+
+MATT: She goes, “No, not so much. They are
+passionate political debaters.”
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Are you helping run some underground
+clubs?
+
+TRAVIS: Just right out in the open, huh?
+
+MARISHA: In your cellar?
+
+MATT: “No, I am merely providing a space for
+people that are wanting to work through some
+
+"difficulties they have with their lifestyle. That
+is all.”
+
+LAURA: I’m running to find Caleb.
+
+LIAM: It’s like latticework, you have to do the
+smaller circle inside the larger.
+
+SAM: You have to do this with every spell?
+
+LIAM: Each one’s a little bit different.
+
+TALIESIN: (whispering) Caleb!
+
+SAM: We’re busy here!
+
+LIAM: We’re really right in the middle of
+something.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s all right, we just need your
+cat.
+
+MARISHA: I trail with Fjord! I want to know.
+
+TRAVIS: As we’re heading down, I lean over to
+Beau.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin climbs up Molly’s back.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m tossing Frumpkin in the direction of
+that.
+
+LIAM: What are you doing with my cat?
+
+TALIESIN: In the basement!
+
+LAURA: Oh, you have to look through his eyes.
+
+SAM: You won’t be able to see anything!
+
+TRAVIS: The two of us are going.
+
+LIAM: Go to the base– look, the circle goes
+inside the larger circle.
+
+SAM: What is the “a e” that’s one letter?
+
+TRAVIS: I lean over to Beau and I say: I don’t
+know if you’re aware of it, but when you
+
+compliment people it sounds like a fucking insult.
+Is that intentional?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: It was just an observation. Like
+commenting on the office window? You’ve gotta put
+
+more smile–
+
+MARISHA: Oh, but that was badass! She had a cool
+fucking office, I guess.
+
+TRAVIS: It didn’t quite sound that way.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, no?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Just something to put in your hat.
+
+LIAM: You know, maybe we pick this up later.
+
+MARISHA: Can I try it with you?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, go for it.
+
+SAM: I’ve just mastered the 'f’ that looks like an
+’s’!
+
+MARISHA: You’re really attractive.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, so let’s start with maybe a little
+smile on the face. That’s always a good starting
+
+point. Try again.
+
+MARISHA: You’re really attractive.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh man, you look constipated.
+
+MARISHA: Is that worse somehow?
+
+TRAVIS: You ever winked at anybody?
+
+MARISHA: You’re really attractive.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll keep workshopping it.
+
+MARISHA: No? That still wasn’t it? Fuck. Thank
+you. At least thanks for telling me. Most people
+
+would just be like, “You’re a bitch,” and then
+would leave.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve been around you long enough that I
+can tell you were actually trying to be nice.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, man. I think you’re real nice,
+too. Genuine! I was being genuine!
+
+MATT: The two of you have wrapped up for the time
+being.
+
+LAURA: I just wanted to borrow some parchment. Do
+you have any extra pieces of paper, though?
+
+LIAM: How much do you need? For what?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know. Like 20 pieces.
+
+SAM: Do you need to write a long letter?
+
+LAURA: A really long one.
+
+LIAM: I’ll give you two.
+
+LAURA: I can make do with that, yes. Thank you.
+
+LIAM: I hand them over.
+
+TALIESIN: I need to know what your cat’s
+seeing. What’s the cat seeing?
+
+LIAM: Hold on.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ve got you.
+
+LAURA: I’ve got you, too.
+
+MATT: The cat, who’s been following Fjord and
+Beauregard, you guys have been having this
+
+conversation as you follow down to the cellar. As
+you descend down the cellar stairs, you can hear
+
+conversation and a few voices passing. They all
+get quiet. As you step and descend past where the
+
+ceiling of the basement reveals you, the group of
+20 folks are all gathered around with a central
+
+podium on an elevated step or a box. They’re all
+looking at you, quiet. The one who’s standing on
+
+the box is a human man probably in his early 60s
+or so. Shorter hair, graying but a little unkempt
+
+in the face. He’s got smaller spectacles at the
+edge of his nose and unshaved stubble against his
+
+chin, but he’s dressed in a nice, white shirt,
+tucked in well, and looks thin and well-mannered.
+
+He puts his hand up and goes, “Hey there. Can we
+help you?”
+
+LIAM: There’s a bunch of people staring at Fjord
+and Beauregard. Why are we doing this?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck’s sake.
+
+TRAVIS: Apologies. We don’t mean to intrude. We’re
+new to this city. We just heard that some higher
+
+thinkers were going to be meeting down here. We
+hoped we might be able to join you.
+
+MARISHA: Just looking for good conversation.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re making asses of themselves,
+aren’t they?
+
+MATT: Everyone looks at each other. There’s an
+ornery dwarf fella who looks over to the guy in
+
+the top and shakes his head. The half-elven girl
+who was gathering the group gives a nudge toward
+
+you with a smile and says, “We can at least ask.”
+He goes, “All right, well, step on up.” The crowd
+
+separates a little bit as you guys approach. “I’m
+curious. Share with me briefly the joys the Empire
+
+"has brought to your life.”
+
+LIAM: I think it’s like Alcoholics Anonymous
+or something.
+
+MATT: “Be honest.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m afraid my list is not that long,
+unfortunately.
+
+MARISHA: We’re a bit skeptical. We’re looking for
+support, just like any other wayward souls in this
+
+crazy town.
+
+TRAVIS: We seek knowledge.
+
+MARISHA: We want to be able to trust our Empire,
+but maybe we need some reassurance in one way or another.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage with
+his help.
+
+MARISHA: Persuasion with advantage? That’s good! I
+got a natural 18 with a plus one, so 19. Just
+
+being real vague.
+
+MATT: “You seem to be on the level. We are a group
+called the Knights of Requital, and we are
+
+"discussing methods of changing the current
+political unhappiness in the city of Zadash and beyond.”
+
+MARISHA: See, we’re not the only ones. We felt
+like something’s been missing.
+
+TRAVIS: Tearing at our heart. It’s an ache.
+
+MATT: “Very well. I will continue with my talk, if
+you don’t mind.”
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Please, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Preach on.
+
+LIAM: Does that name mean anything to Caleb?
+
+MATT: No. Looking around the room, most of the
+folks in here look to be salt-of-the-earth folk of
+
+the city. A few folks look to be a little more
+wealthy, lower-to-middle class if you were to give
+
+any sort of comparison there, and they all look
+like they’re a bit riled up. The dwarf, who had
+
+eyed you up previously, his eyes have these heavy
+bags under them, he’s got this scraggly unkempt
+
+brown beard, and very short, almost buzz-cut hair
+on top. He’s glaring at the two of you. He steps
+
+away from the crowd and keeps a very close eye.
+The gentleman at the top, “First off, to our new
+
+"conversationalists, I am Dolan Thrym. As many of
+you know her, I once ran a very successful physician
+
+"practice here in the Interstead Sprawl, one that
+my partner was the head physician. Well, he was
+
+"unfortunately brought to an unearned level of
+shame, and his practice ruined, as well as our
+
+"industry, by the house of Sutan naught but a year ago.
+We went from a comfortable living helping people
+
+"to a life of squalor and shame. I know we’re not
+the only one, as now the son of the house of
+
+"Sutan, Ren, sits at the top of that practice. Took
+all of our clients and squeezes them for all of
+
+"their worth. And I, for one, am sick of it”.
+Everybody else in the group goes (grunt).
+
+MARISHA: (grunts)
+
+MATT: “I’m sick of it and we can’t sit back and
+let nothing be done about it. Now, would you like
+
+"to take the floor, Ulog?” The dwarf who was
+watching you guys takes his– doesn’t leave you
+
+for a moment before he steps over and the crowd
+separates and he steps up onto the small block
+
+which at his height puts him about head level with
+most of the crowd. “As many of you know, I was a
+
+woodworker for many years, carving wood, did good
+carpentry. My wife, Illiana, is a good wife.
+
+About six months ago, she was up late at night
+picking up food for the night for the two of
+
+us in the Pentamarket. She was in the wrong place
+at the wrong time. There were some street bandits
+
+outside the Tri-Spires. They stabbed someone who
+had run in, ran clean into my wife, just as the
+
+Crownsguard descended. She got looped in with
+them, thrown in jail. I went and fought. There
+
+wasn’t even a bit of a trial. The High-Rictor sent
+her straight to the Umber Dungeon, sentenced her
+
+20 years for this business. It’s been six months
+now, I can’t even see her. I’m sick of it, and I
+
+think it’s time we did something.” Everyone in the
+crowd goes (grunts).
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (grunt)
+
+MATT: This continues one after another,
+individuals start coming up and talking about
+
+resharing stories for the newcomers. Things that
+have come up recently that frustrate them. They
+
+begin throwing things around like instability
+within the Starosta’s capable hands to maintain a
+
+political structure in a city this large. They
+begin to talk on anger and frustration with the
+
+lack of proper education for the masses, keeping
+them unable to climb status and eke out of living
+
+and thus are forced into the military to die out
+on the fields of Xhorhas. There have been
+
+discussions about frustration dealing with the
+ever creeping power scale of what’s called the
+
+Cerberus Assembly and influence that stretches
+from Rexxentrum into the city itself. Eventually,
+
+it begins to rise into many voices clamoring out
+in frustration and once again, Dolan, the softer
+
+gentleman at the beginning puts his hands up and
+steps back and goes: “I know, I know. I know.
+
+But we’re going to find a way. I have friends that
+I’ve made, people that we’re talking to and we
+
+have, hopefully, a new beginning soon, an
+opportunity where I think we can have a voice in
+
+the politics here. I hope to have more for you
+soon, in the meantime, try and keep your chin up.
+
+I know it’s hard now, but I believe we’ll have an
+opportunity soon. Thank you. Thank you to Kara,
+
+who has been helping set these meetings up.”
+Points over to the younger half-elf earlier and she nods
+
+and a few hands clap. “And to our new members–
+I’m sorry, I didn’t get your names.”
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+MATT: “Beau and Fjord, thank you for joining us
+tonight. It goes without saying, please, if you
+
+don’t mind, we prefer to keep these conversations
+personal. For obvious reasons.”
+
+MARISHA: Absolutely.
+
+MATT: “If even the most misunderstood discontent
+leads to unfortunate circumstances.”
+
+TRAVIS: We understand. Thank you for sharing with
+us.
+
+MARISHA: I know I, for one, have had my discontent
+with the Empire, so it’s good to hear we’re not alone.
+
+MATT: “Of course. That’s requital. I appreciate
+your time. Rest well, we’ll meet soon. Dismissed!”
+
+Everyone begins to scatter and make their way back
+up to the tavern.
+
+TRAVIS: We stay down.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’m going to wait behind. Wait to
+talk to Dolan?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Really appreciate what you said.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, thank you. So much.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, of course. I understand that you
+aren’t from around here, so don’t feel that you
+
+have to take too much of this to heart. Best we
+can do to try and keep spirits up. I believe that
+
+we can find a way to exact some change real
+soon.”
+
+TRAVIS: It struck a chord. It mirrors a lot of
+what we’ve seen since we’ve been here. Do you meet
+
+very often? I’d love to come back.
+
+MATT: “Well, we’re scheduled to meet here in the
+next two days or so. We’re gearing up for a couple
+
+of important events.”
+
+MARISHA: How often are the meetings that heated?
+That seemed pretty intense.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, personal. Emotional.
+
+MATT: “It can vary. Anyway, I’m sorry. I really
+should be going.”
+
+MARISHA: Where abouts in town do you live?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I live outside of the Apple Tree
+Tutors.”
+
+MARISHA: We’ll probably be staying here the next
+few days.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We’ll check in with– what was her
+name?
+
+MARISHA: It’s Claudia.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We’ll check in with Claudia if
+there’s any other meetings. Again, appreciate you
+
+being so open.
+
+MATT: “Appreciate you being respectful and close
+to your chest. Anyway.” He steps past the two of
+
+you, puts the rest of his jacket on, and exits.
+Now it’s just the two of you there in the cellar below.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s in the cellar?
+
+SAM: You going to rob the place there?
+
+TRAVIS: I just want to know. Is it munitions? Is
+it meat? Is it booze?
+
+MARISHA: Wine? Is there good wine?
+
+MATT: There are large casks, large wooden barrels
+and casks. This is where major ale storage is set,
+
+but none of them are tapped. It looks to be full
+of crates that are still sealed; unopened.
+
+MARISHA: Any good wines? That I would recognize?
+
+MATT: None of the wines are kept in this cellar.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: By the size of the place, you get the sense
+there’s probably more than one storage place here.
+
+LIAM: When you scroll your cursor over it, though,
+the descriptions are all in red.
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Can’t access that.
+
+TRAVIS: Talk about an underbelly. That was more
+than I was expecting.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, and I totally called Claudia on it
+too, and she didn’t even come forward. I’m like,
+
+you’re running some shit! She’s running some
+shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Right upfront.
+
+MARISHA: Did you notice he said thanks for keeping
+things close to your chest? Are we that transparent?
+
+TRAVIS: No. I mean, I would say the same thing if
+I was taking such a chance with people I didn’t
+
+know, right? I think he’s just trying to invest in
+us a little.
+
+MARISHA: Right.
+
+TRAVIS: Seemed nice.
+
+LIAM: I tell Frumpkin to yowl between their legs.
+
+MATT: (meowing)
+
+MARISHA: (yells)
+
+TRAVIS: (suppressing a sneeze)
+
+MARISHA: I give Frumpkin the finger, hoping Caleb
+will see.
+
+LIAM: I don’t see it. I’m not looking through it.
+
+MARISHA: Now I’m just flicking off a cat.
+
+TALIESIN: You gave us the basics, though?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s go back up. Fuck it.
+
+LAURA: I was spending my time cutting the
+parchment up into even, little rectangles so I
+
+could make them into multiple pieces of paper.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do.
+
+MARISHA: We go back.
+
+MATT: As you guys head up into the tavern to meet
+up with the rest of your troop, you see they’re all
+
+sitting around, handling their other business.
+What are you guys up to?
+
+TALIESIN: We were listening to the description of
+this insanity.
+
+LIAM: I bamfed out of that probably two minutes
+before it finished, so I didn’t get the tail end,
+
+but I got the meat.
+
+MATT: You got the meat of it. You watched the
+people that were in the meeting leave in small
+
+groups. They’re pacing their exits.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, don’t believe what you hear. It
+was a huge orgy. Just naked parts everywhere.
+
+LAURA: I figured it was and Caleb was lying to us
+the whole time.
+
+TRAVIS: I know. Maple syrup. They had little Tic
+Tacs and all sorts of chocolate chips. Lollipops galore.
+
+LAURA: Usually, in orgies like that, they don’t
+let you stay unless (tongue clicking). You’re part of it.
+
+LIAM: He’s not sticky with maple syrup. He’s
+lying.
+
+TRAVIS: Tongue bath.
+
+LAURA: Eww. Nice.
+
+SAM: I think what we should do is take the names
+and descriptions of all of those people and turn
+
+them in to the authorities for 50 gold a person.
+We could make so much money and be heroes in this
+
+town as well! Just like we were in the last!
+
+LIAM: Maybe not that, but quite frankly, those
+people are reckless, telling you what they told you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it is. The only problem with that
+would be we were in that meeting at well.
+
+SAM: As spies!
+
+TALIESIN: Except that they told them their real
+names. And where they’re staying.
+
+LIAM: The authorities don’t delineate between the
+real McCoy and the passersby. Just like that man’s
+
+story. The dwarf.
+
+TALIESIN: Groups of people are always idiots.
+Never trust a group of people. I specifically used
+
+to gather people into groups to make them into
+idiots. It’s just what you do. You don’t–
+
+LAURA: So you did that to us!
+
+TALIESIN: That is exactly what I did! It’s how I
+met you. It’s why I keep you around.
+
+MARISHA: You also traveled with a group of
+people.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, but we weren’t a group of people.
+We all hated each other.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a smaller group.
+
+LAURA: It’s a pretty big group. There’s nine of
+us.
+
+MARISHA: Do you notice how often his logic falls
+apart?
+
+TALIESIN: You just told them your real name!
+
+MARISHA: No. I told them I’m Beau.
+
+SAM: You left out the -regard part! And you
+mispronounced your name “Ford” when we all know
+
+it’s Fjord!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. Yeah.
+
+SAM: Clever!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. there’s a lot of people named Beau.
+Right?
+
+LAURA: Are there? I’ve only met one other person named
+Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve literally only met one other person
+named Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a good nickname. Beau. Beauregard.
+
+LAURA: I think his name was not the same Beau as
+your Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: It was a different Beau.
+
+LAURA: It was a different Beau. I’m going to start
+folding my little pieces of paper into little trifolds.
+
+MATT: All righty. What else are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I think we’re probably good to retire.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to turn in. I have a little bit
+more homework to do before the end of the night.
+
+Good night. Thank you. Good night.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m eventually falling asleep, but
+before that, I’m going to go take a fucking bath.
+
+There is a bathhouse. I’m going there. Anyone who
+wants to come with me is welcome to do so.
+
+LAURA: Aww, I want a bath so bad, but it’s so
+late, Molly!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s just a walk!
+
+LAURA: Is it even going to be open at night?
+
+TALIESIN: Is it going to be open at night?
+
+MATT: You can go and try and find out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go and try and find out.
+I’m going to and try and find out!
+
+LAURA: Okay. I have important work to do.
+
+SAM: I’ll accompany you, just to make sure you
+don’t get killed.
+
+LAURA: I’ll come with you too because I really
+want a bath.
+
+MARISHA: I guess I stay behind with Fjord. We talk
+about the crazy shit we just heard.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, because we’re fucking spies!
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yeah, man! We’ll break the system!
+Put it in the ground!
+
+LAURA: It’s folded like this.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Fuck the man!
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just happy with my company.
+
+MATT: Right. Now, the two of you make an
+investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Three.
+
+MATT: That’s right. She’s coming as well.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s really bad. It’s because I’m
+folding paper.
+
+SAM: 17. I’m specifically looking for stores.
+
+TALIESIN: 15.
+
+LAURA: Four!
+
+MATT: You do manage to discover the location of
+The Steam’s Respite, but it is closed for the
+
+night. It is too late for its functionality.
+
+LAURA: Damn it!
+
+SAM: On the way, do we pass Packwearer’s
+Provisions or any of the other fine establishments
+
+you’ve told us about?
+
+MATT: If you wander through the Pentamarket, which
+you can go roundabout to do that.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not on the way, then.
+
+SAM: No. Just on the way.
+
+MATT: On the way from where you are exiting there,
+none of those, no. The Pentamarket is pretty much
+
+this cluster at the center of–
+
+SAM: Any shops at all, or is it just–?
+
+MATT: You would’ve come across more small food
+establishments like small dumpling establishments.
+
+Nothing too crazy. It looks like most of the
+stores that are on the outskirts would be simple
+
+glassware, the occasional basic blacksmiths for
+putting horseshoes on and the construction of
+
+that, simple armor repairs for whoever needs it.
+
+SAM: Nothing fun.
+
+MATT: Nothing crazy. Most of the good stuff is in
+the vicinity you’ve already been.
+
+TALIESIN: You know, Nott, I notice. I notice the
+way that you eye things, on occasion.
+
+SAM: I’m not stealing anything right now!
+
+TALIESIN: Not right now and that’s fine. And I
+would hate to get in the way of any of your
+
+business. Your business is your business and I’m
+perfectly fine with that. But it’s good to
+
+remember that there are people who need what they
+have. There are people who need every bit of what
+
+they have. And there are people who would be much
+happier if they had a little less.
+
+SAM: How do I know which is which?
+
+TALIESIN: Well that’s a skill worth developing.
+That’s a skill very much worth developing.
+
+LAURA: If the people look like you and Caleb, they
+probably need it.
+
+TALIESIN: If they seem grumpy, or angry, and seem
+overly concerned with an enormous amount of money
+
+that they happen to have, or using it to just be
+mean or cruel to somebody, that’s probably a sign
+
+that they’d just be much happier if they just knew
+exactly who liked them and the only way you could
+
+ever really know if someone likes you is if you
+don’t have anything over them. And the easiest way
+
+to get to that honesty is if you don’t have
+anything.
+
+SAM: So you’re saying steal from grumpy people?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes.
+
+LAURA: Shitty people specifically.
+
+TALIESIN: Unless they’re grumpy because they don’t
+have enough. Because if you’re hungry, you get
+
+very angry.
+
+LAURA: I do, I do get really mad.
+
+TALIESIN: You get so angry when you’re hungry!
+
+LAURA: I know.
+
+SAM: Which kind of grumpy is Beau?
+
+TALIESIN: Beau has way too much. So you should
+probably take some stuff from Beau. That’s fair.
+
+(laughter)
+
+Beau really needs to know who likes her.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau knows grumpy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh no! It makes sense when you’re in that
+shirt.
+
+MATT: It makes sense when you’re over 30.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Passive sports marketing campaign: check!
+
+MATT: All right. So you guys find your way back.
+What about the rest of you guys, anything?
+
+LIAM: I am just finishing up the spell Unseen
+Servant before I go to bed so that I will know it
+
+in the morning.
+
+MATT: Easily enough. You have it copied over
+without issue.
+
+LIAM: Yes. Yes!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so excited about a long rest.
+
+LAURA: Before I go to sleep, I’m going to use my
+little folded papers and make little pamphlets to
+
+the Traveler. So it��s going to be like, “Have you
+heard of our lord and savior, the Traveler?”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to get us killed!
+
+LAURA: He sure is the coolest, everyone should
+worship him, he’s the best guy around.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re making Tijuana bibles. You’re
+making Tijuana bibles for your religion. Is there
+
+going to be nudity and sex in these? Because then
+it’s basically a Tijuana bible. Don’t Google
+
+Tijuana bible.
+
+LAURA: They’re like this little, because I had to
+make them out of only two sheets of–
+
+MATT: How many did you make?
+
+LAURA: Well, however many I could make out of two
+sheets of parchment, so probably like eight or
+
+maybe ten.
+
+MATT: We’ll say ten and a few that didn’t quite–
+you got halfway through and like (frustrated
+
+noise) tore it up. Okay cool. So the rest of you
+guys, are you all resting for the evening?
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All right. Night rest comes without issue.
+You awake in the morning to the sound of an
+
+already muttering tavern floor below you. The
+smell of food and whatever dried ale has been
+
+spilled into the room that you’re currently
+sleeping in. But the day is yours, the morning has
+
+arrived, you are welcome to do what you wish.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, do you need to pray over your
+swords? I don’t know how often–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I did it before you woke up.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Well next time, could you include me
+in it? I don’t know if maybe it would help me with
+
+my skills.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure. Happily.
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate that.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be no problem.
+
+MARISHA: Morning, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Beau! You know what we need to do today?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LAURA: We need to go to the pillow place and go
+get some money from my mom!
+
+MARISHA: Your– okay, yeah.
+
+LIAM: How do you get money from your mom?
+
+LAURA: You’re not with us in our room right now!
+
+LIAM: Oh, you didn’t come downstairs? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Are you–
+
+TRAVIS: Peeping tom!
+
+LAURA: How does he do that?
+
+MARISHA: How do you know? How do you know that
+it’s going to be there?
+
+LAURA: Because I asked her for it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, but asking isn’t the same as
+confirmation of receiving.
+
+LAURA: Yes, but it’s my mom and of course she’s
+going to send me money! You’re crazy.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Totally. Let’s go. I’ll go with
+you.
+
+LAURA: It’s called the Pillow Trove. We need to go
+there. But we need to look very pretty, so before
+
+that, I’m going to see if Molly wants to go get a
+bath.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. We have to look pretty?
+
+LAURA: Yes, we have to be fancy for that place.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: We also need to go to the blacksmith, you
+guys! As I’m coming down the stairs. We have so
+
+many things to sell.
+
+MARISHA: We do.
+
+TALIESIN: Blacksmith’s is filthy; we’ll go there
+first.
+
+LAURA: Good call.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: We stumble downstairs.
+
+MATT: You get your food, your breakfast set. Let’s
+see here. We’ll say for the two meals and the
+
+drinks, and the three rooms overnight. If you want
+to keep track of the tab. Though you haven’t paid
+
+it yet, necessarily, if you’re staying for a
+while.
+
+MARISHA: Under the Nein?
+
+MATT: Put you at–
+
+LAURA: Plus, we’re good friends of Claudia’s!
+
+TRAVIS: He’s the DM.
+
+MATT: I’ll put you at, at the three rooms, food
+and drink, at about six gold so far.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, gotcha. Six gold.
+
+MATT: This isn’t the nicer part of town.
+
+TRAVIS: So far. One gold each.
+
+MATT: All right. So.
+
+LIAM: Is Claudia down in this room at the moment?
+
+MATT: At the moment, no. Looks like it is your
+dragonborn friend and there’s maybe six people in
+
+the room.
+
+TRAVIS: How did your homework go last night?
+
+LIAM: Very well. I am a step ahead of where I was
+yesterday.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, that’s great! Nicely done.
+
+LIAM: (lip smacking) I walk over to this
+dragonborn. Good morning to you.
+
+MATT: “Right, good morning.”
+
+LIAM: Sorry, I know you are busy preparing for the
+day.
+
+MATT: “That’s all right.”
+
+LIAM: I hear there is a rather large library here
+in this city. This is correct, ja?
+
+MATT: “There’s probably a few places with
+libraries. There’s the Archive–”
+
+LIAM: That’s the biggest one. The main one.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. There’s also the Hall of Erudition.
+I’m pretty sure they got libraries as well.”
+
+LIAM: The Hall of Erudition?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, it’s where the Soltryce
+Academy’s…academy…is here.”
+
+LIAM: Oh good. Okay. The first place, though,
+could you point me in the direction of it from here?
+
+MATT: “Right, that would be, let’s see, right
+around– Hmm.” (singsong) Let me make sure I get
+
+this correct for internal consistency. Ah, that
+would be in the Interstead Sprawl. If you consider
+
+the city’s triangular shape, there’s the pentagram
+market off-center and a little bit to the west of
+
+it, and then there’s the East and West
+Outersteads, which are the outside cusp and the
+
+slums and the outside of the main wall; there’s
+the Tri-Spire, which is up north; then there’s a
+
+section, a quadrant over here, it’s a military
+section in this weird ring that surrounds and
+
+bisects them all around the Pentamarket. That’s
+the Interstead Sprawl.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the garrison area?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Well, no, that’s the more
+middle-class, central connecting part that holds
+
+the rest of the city together.
+
+TRAVIS: Gotcha. Garrison’s more east, you said.
+
+LIAM: Library is there?
+
+MATT: The library is there.
+
+LIAM: And it’s to the east, you were saying?
+
+MATT: From where you are now, you guys are in the
+Eastern Outersteads, it would be west. And he
+
+goes, “Actually (ugh), hold on just a second, I’ll
+get to your meal. Follow me.” He comes out from
+
+behind the bar and slaps it up, and puts an arm
+around your shoulder and leads you right
+
+immediately outside to the front of the tavern,
+pushing you along.
+
+LIAM: Ja, okay, I shrink inward.
+
+MATT: He goes, “You look over that rooftop there,
+and you can see that– ” and you see this slowly
+
+tapering tower that then curves off at the very
+top to be a very dome-like pinnacle. The stonework
+
+itself appears to be like a smooth concrete
+looking texture just from this distance, and the
+
+way the morning sun is hitting it, half of it is
+just bright and reflective and really intricate
+
+carving and various tiers along the towers. He
+goes, “That there’s the Archive. That’s what
+
+you’re looking for. So just look at that tower and
+keep going.”
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “No worries.”
+
+LIAM: Also, asking the DM, not this dragonborn,
+but you had mentioned the Chastity’s Nook. Caleb
+
+would remember if you said what area it’s in?
+
+MATT: Tri-Spires.
+
+LIAM: Tri-Spires. Thank you. Got it.
+
+MARISHA: Get that smut, boy, get that smut.
+
+LIAM: Sure, sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you say, “Get that smut?”
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
+
+LIAM: Was there any question?
+
+TRAVIS: Just making sure.
+
+LIAM: Okay. All right. Thank you very much. You’re
+very helpful.
+
+MATT: “No worries.” He runs back and quickly gets
+beneath– there are now two people waiting for him
+
+to get back, and he gets back to pouring drinks
+and getting food orders situated.
+
+TRAVIS: So we’re going to the blacksmith. Then
+we’re getting Molly a bath.
+
+LAURA: And me and me and me.
+
+TRAVIS: And you. And then are we looking for job
+postings? Like, maybe some work?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re welcome to take a look at the job
+postings if you don’t want to take a bath, but I’d
+
+highly recommend a bath. Baths are great.
+
+LAURA: They really are.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it like a fancy thing?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. Very fancy.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it expensive?
+
+TALIESIN: That entirely depends what you think
+it’s worth.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you doing this?
+
+MARISHA: Blacksmith first and we’ll see, how about
+that?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, fair enough.
+
+LAURA: Because we might make so much money from
+the blacksmith.
+
+TRAVIS: That is true.
+
+LIAM: Nott! What do you want to do today?
+
+SAM: I want to steal something. I have the itch.
+It’s back.
+
+TRAVIS: The syphilis itch?
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+SAM: Extreme syphilis!
+
+MARISHA: We met an ex-physician. Just…never
+mind. Never mind.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, he could check you out. Give
+your crotch the old once over.
+
+SAM: A former doctor?! Sign me up!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+LIAM: You know, I’m sure we can facilitate that.
+Let’s maybe manage our expectations, not go for
+
+the plumpest plum on the bush.
+
+SAM: Don’t worry, I’m only going for grumpy people
+today.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Amazing!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so excited!
+
+LIAM: This was an idea you had?
+
+SAM: It was given to me by a wise weirdo.
+
+LIAM: Right. I’m not going to question it.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not the first time I’ve been
+called– actually, no, it’s not the first time
+
+I’ve been called that, that’s fair. It’s not
+Molly, this is me.
+
+LIAM: Okay, thank you, okay.
+
+MATT: As you guys are making your way through the
+East Outersteads towards the Pentamarket, you said
+
+you’re going to the blacksmith?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. To… the… Spark Hammer
+Smithing!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: That worked real well!
+
+MATT: Yeah, it did.
+
+LIAM: She is the grumpy one! Pencil in the DM’s
+neck!
+
+MATT: As you’re making your way there, one thing
+that you do– you hear a voice that’s loudly
+
+talking that crosses you guys as you’re walking
+down the street. You can see a younger man in his
+
+early 20s or so; he has really thin, blondish
+hair, and he’s wearing a tabard that is the same
+
+colors as the Crownsguard, but other than that,
+normal clothing.
+
+LAURA: What’s a tabard?
+
+MATT: A tabard is a piece of cloth that goes over
+the front and back–
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Like when you see like knights–
+
+LIAM: It’s like Medieval Times.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. “I’m going for the green knight!”
+That.
+
+MATT: He’s shouting out– you get very quick
+instance: he’s a town crier. As you come into
+
+Zadash, you can see this is probably how a lot of
+news is disseminated amongst the populace here.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, what’s he saying?
+
+MATT: What you hear approaching is, (shouting) “–
+a crownsguard and the King’s grace! Attack on
+
+Alfield is ended! Terrible fiends responsible put
+to the sword by a crownsguard and the King’s grace!”
+
+SAM: Hey! We did that! That was us!
+
+MATT: “The attack on Alf–” He repeats it as he
+continues down the street.
+
+LAURA: Aw, man!
+
+SAM: They stole our thunder!
+
+TALIESIN: But not our gold.
+
+SAM and LAURA: That’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Although, I mean, credit would help our,
+you know, reputation.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! We could be famous!
+
+TALIESIN: Why would you want to be famous?
+
+MARISHA: What do you expect from the Crownsguard,
+though?
+
+LAURA: Have you ever been famous?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I have no interest in becoming it,
+thank you very much.
+
+LAURA: You have no idea the kind of stuff that
+is given to you when you’re famous.
+
+TALIESIN: I have most everything I need already.
+Why would I need more stuff?
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, any interest in chasing down that
+guy and seeing where the news is gathered? Maybe
+
+they could print a retraction.
+
+LAURA: Want me to go tell him he’s got it wrong?
+
+TRAVIS: Or where it comes from?
+
+LAURA: Okay I chase after him.
+
+TALIESIN: No!
+
+MARISHA: He’s going to think you’re crazy!
+
+LIAM: Also, I’m sorry, some of you wish to be in
+the spotlight with the things that we do?
+
+LAURA: I chased after him already.
+
+MATT: Okay. He’s moved onto– it looks like he’s
+cycling through different pieces of news, and as
+
+you approach, he’s shouting, “Families missing in
+Nogvurot! Crick kidnappers steal them away in the
+
+night! Lock and seal your windows and doors while
+you slumber! The attack on Alfield has ended!
+
+Terrible–” and you approach him at that point.
+
+LAURA: Excuse me, town crier man?
+
+MATT: “Yeah?”
+
+LAURA: Where does your news come from?
+
+MATT: “From my boss.”
+
+LAURA: Where is your boss located?
+
+MATT: “It’s the King’s Hall.”
+
+LAURA: Because your boss at the King’s Hall has
+some of his news– his news is wrong. Did you
+
+know that the attack on Alfield was defeated by a
+group called the Mighty Nein? They’re this really
+
+amazing band of heroes–
+
+MATT: “I was not aware. I did not know.”
+
+LAURA: Yes–
+
+MATT: “That’s really interesting.”
+
+LAURA: Yes, it is, it’s really cool. Because we
+were there and we saw it happen and it was really
+
+cool and you should probably get your news
+right–
+
+MATT: “That sounds amazing. You should go tell
+that to the Herald of the Hall. He’s probably the
+
+one who would care the most.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, because by the time, though, that we
+get there, and then it gets back to you, you’ve
+
+probably been around town so much, and then you’ll
+have to retract your article, and that would be
+
+really weird.
+
+MATT: (shouting) “The attack on Alfield–” and he
+quickly gets away from you, repeating the process
+
+over and over again.
+
+LIAM: Also, Fjord walks right up behind Jester and
+says: (deeper voice) Come on, we need to get back
+
+with the others. Okay? This is not a good idea to
+put yourself out in the open, let’s go.
+
+LAURA: Fjord?
+
+LIAM: (deeper voice) Yes, it’s me, I’m Fjord. Come
+on.
+
+LAURA: What is this? Is this a new accent you’re
+trying out?
+
+LIAM: There was a cough drop stuck in the side of
+my mouth.
+
+MARISHA: Like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, you almost sound like Caleb.
+
+LIAM: This is deep Texan, I don’t know–
+
+LAURA: Are you planning on sounding like Caleb
+now?
+
+LIAM: Listen, accents are not my strong suit.
+Would you please just stop talking to the town
+
+crier? Thank you. I’m trying to drag her back.
+
+LAURA: What are you talking about? Accents are
+your strong suit. You’re really good at it, Fjord!
+
+TRAVIS: You look like me?
+
+MATT: You trying to drag her along?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, back towards the group.
+
+MATT: Do you let him drag you?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Wait, can I tell it’s not actually
+him?
+
+LIAM: Probably.
+
+LAURA: Can I tell it’s not Fjord?
+
+LIAM: It sounds about as good as I just did.
+Caleb’s not good at accents.
+
+TRAVIS: But Fjord does accents.
+
+LAURA: That’s the thing. Can I tell from the
+physicality? Because you do accents.
+
+MATT: That’s interesting.
+
+LIAM: I am Fjord Tough, let’s go.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, you seem even weaker than you were
+before, pulling me along. This is weird.
+
+LIAM: But I don’t smell bad. Now come on, let’s go
+to the rest of the group.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Caleb? Is it really you?
+
+LIAM: I pull her by the earlobe. Can we please go
+back to the rest?
+
+LAURA: Okay, just let go of my ear now, okay.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry. Is this what we are going to be
+about? Huge credit, and get ourselves to be part
+
+of the news?
+
+LAURA: Hey man, I was just doing what Fjord told
+me to, okay? So don’t you give me shit!
+
+LIAM: I am not giving you shit, I am putting a
+subject on the table for the group. I need to make
+
+an informed decision about what Nott and I are
+doing.
+
+TALIESIN: I prefer to keep it on the down-low,
+personally.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, of course. Not to alarm you, I only
+meant that if we are going to be paid for our
+
+escapades, a reputation, anonymously, might help,
+if we belong to that name.
+
+MARISHA: You want an anonymous reputation?
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh! This is perfect! Because if
+we’re called the Mighty Nein, people will expect
+
+it to be a different group of people.
+
+SAM: Because we’re just six?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. That’s actually brilliant.
+
+SAM: We’re disguised! We’re hiding in plain
+sight!
+
+MATT: As you say that, across the way, you can see
+there’s one crotchety-looking dude with one eye
+
+who’s like–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to look right back at him.
+
+MATT: Averts his gaze and keeps on walking.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I have something in my teeth?
+
+MARISHA: Plus, what makes you assume we’re about
+anything right now? I don’t think we’ve made any
+
+decisions. I thought we were just having fun,
+right? Making good money?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m here for making money.
+
+MARISHA: Are we about anything?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA. Yeah. Do you want to be about something?
+
+LIAM: I don’t want to be about making a stink
+everywhere we go.
+
+TALIESIN: This is what happens after you go to
+meetings, is suddenly you want to be about
+
+something. Be careful.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not true. Caleb, I’m sorry.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t say it, he did!
+
+TRAVIS: If we put you at unease, that was not our
+intention.
+
+LIAM: It’s not just me. You are vomiting salt
+water, and you are getting into fistfights with
+
+people, I don’t know what you’re doing. And you–
+Look at you.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait.
+
+TRAVIS: “Look at you” is always the worst. Look at
+you!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m well aware. This is entirely for the
+sake of my mirror. I’m very well aware.
+
+MARISHA: We’re the ones that you don’t know?
+What’s going on with– You two take off every day!
+
+The two of you! Maybe you would know what we’re up
+to if you went along with the group once!
+
+LIAM: Go along with the group?
+
+LAURA: He always knows what we’re up to because he
+has his cat follow us.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, super personable.
+
+LIAM: I have fought a giant toad creature with
+you. I have fought a big lion thing with a woman’s face.
+
+TALIESIN: I propose a plan.
+
+LAURA: You killed its baby!
+
+SAM: I did. I feel very bad about that.
+
+TALIESIN: I have a plan for this. I have a plan,
+we’re going to take our scrap and we’re going to
+
+sell it, so that we have some money. We’re going
+to take the good feelings from that money and
+
+we’re going to spend it on hot water and
+inappropriate, friendly nudity.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: And we’re going to have a discussion
+about what we’re doing, with heat, steam, water
+
+and a little bit of cash.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, you’re super insistent about this,
+so I’m going to go with it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I’m down for it, too.
+
+MARISHA: Because now I feel like it’s real
+important to you.
+
+TALIESIN: I just find it’s easier to have this
+conversation when everyone is sitting around naked
+
+in hot water.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, I expect you to lead this escapade.
+Please, lead on.
+
+MARISHA: Sherpa us to our first bathhouse
+experience.
+
+TALIESIN: I take five steps and then I go, I don’t
+know where the blacksmith is.
+
+LAURA: I’ll lead the way!
+
+TRAVIS: Five steps in a circle.
+
+LIAM: As everybody walks, to Beau I say: Listen
+it’s just about logistics. I mean you are very–
+
+TRAVIS: Do you still look like me?
+
+LIAM: No, I dropped it. You are in peak physical
+condition, your guns are amazing. I can’t do
+
+what you do. I can’t run into it, of course. I’m
+100 yards back, because I’m thin as a wet toilet paper.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks man, thanks.
+
+LAURA: Thin as a wet toilet paper?
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry, were you trying to tell me
+about– I’m sorry, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I’ve got to stop complimenting you, it does
+not lead to good moments. I walk away.
+
+MARISHA: Okay wait! Damn it! First time Liam’s
+walked away from me in the campaign!
+
+MATT: Following Jester, you make your way back to
+the Pentamarket, to the outside of the Spark
+
+Hammer Smithing. What was previously closed the
+night before, you can now see the open air smithy
+
+is lively and banging. You can hear the slamming
+of hammer on metal and the shower of sparks from
+
+the exterior anvil setup. Currently out there is a
+halfling man with deeply tanned, red skin, short,
+
+black hair and very muscular arms, who currently
+has leather gloves on, leather apron, and is in
+
+the process of forging some kind of long metal
+blade, hammering it out over a heavy anvil on the
+
+outside. There is the trough for the quenching of
+the blade and then in the interior you can see, a
+
+few steps away, the orange glow of the rest of the
+blacksmith interior. There looks to be somebody
+
+else on the inside but you don’t get a view of
+them right now. You can just barely get rows and
+
+rows and racks of various pieces of armor and
+weapons that are currently hanging on display on
+
+the inside. There is nobody in the process of
+walking through at the moment, just in the process
+
+of crafting, so you are the only individuals who
+are holding the space at the moment. So the (metal
+
+clanging), turn, (metal clanging).
+
+LAURA: I take my pink bag and I put it down on the
+table in front of him.
+
+MATT: (Metal clanging “Hello?”
+
+LAURA: Hi! We have things to buy and sell from
+you.
+
+MATT: “Well, I’m all certainly here for that. What
+you got? What you looking to buy?”
+
+LAURA: I pull out– Well it depends, do you have a
+hand axe that I could buy?
+
+MATT: He sets the hammer into the water, the steam
+rises up, quenches the blade, takes the gloves off
+
+and wipes heavy sweat from the brow. “You’re
+looking for a–?”
+
+LAURA: Hand axe! Something that is very sharp and
+can kill people!
+
+MATT: “That I can do.” Turns around to the inside
+of the building and comes back. He has two hand
+
+axes, both look pretty well made, one looks a
+little more intricate than the other, but both are
+
+pretty solid. “So we got these two.” Throws one
+and catches it, throws the other and catches it.
+
+LAURA: Okay, put those on the table and then we
+will look at some other stuff first. Okay! I have
+
+six short swords, and I put them down on the
+table. I’ve got two daggers here! I’ve got two
+
+hand crossbows! Two light crossbows and two heavy
+crossbows!
+
+MATT: You place them all down and looking at the
+quality and the shininess and the smooth, fresh
+
+weaponry that he’s placed on the table and the
+pockmarked, used, damaged, in some cases gnoll
+
+mess covered weaponry, you immediately realize–
+oh.
+
+LAURA: Maybe scrap metal is a good thing for this.
+
+MATT: “I say so, these have all seen some use. Not
+all that great. Sorry.”
+
+LAURA: But also! Also, we have some other things!
+
+MARISHA: There were then chains, the manacles.
+Cart, we definitely drug here. Definitely around
+
+Fjord’s neck.
+
+SAM: We’re selling these things?
+
+TRAVIS: Are they in the bag?
+
+LAURA: I have them!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, were they in the bag?
+
+LAURA: We put everything in the bag, then it would
+be good.
+
+MATT: You couldn’t fit the manacles in the bag.
+The one that was around the neck of the manticore.
+
+LAURA: Then we fucking had them around our necks.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you had them in the cart. So you bring
+them along with you.
+
+LAURA: We knew we were going to the blacksmith.
+
+MATT: “Well these here, these are some nice
+metal.”
+
+LAURA: And they were magic!
+
+MATT: “They were magic.”
+
+MARISHA: I show him the rune.
+
+LAURA: They had to be real good metal to be magic!
+
+MATT: “Let me have a look at that.” He takes them,
+pulls on the chains, drags for a minute and he
+
+inspects them over. “This some real nice
+craftsmanship, you don’t see something this well
+
+made. So where did you get this?”
+
+LAURA: This giant lion thing with a woman’s head
+had them around it and then we killed the lion
+
+thing.
+
+SAM: We found it.
+
+MATT: Did you guys bring the cart with you?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, if we got there then yeah,
+probably.
+
+MATT: He glances past you. Well, the manticore
+head is still affixed to the cart, by the way. The
+
+halfling looks past and he goes, “I’ll take it you
+mean that thing. It’s quite scary, well done. Ah,
+
+looking at all the weapons. The wood’s mostly
+rotted, unfortunately. Some of the metal can be
+
+melted down and reused, have to hammer out all of
+the imperfections, smelt it all. The manacles look
+
+very nice. Tell you what. Give me the lot and the
+manacles, I’ll give you both these axes and be in
+
+excess of about 20 gold pieces.”
+
+LAURA: Do we want both of the axes or just the
+one?
+
+SAM: Why do we need any axes?
+
+LAURA: I need another weapon. Just one of the axes
+is all I need. I don’t need both.
+
+MATT: “Put that at about 25 gold then, and the one
+axe.”
+
+LAURA: Sound good for you guys?
+
+TALIESIN: Works for me.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I like it. I think that is a very good
+deal. What’s your name, sir?
+
+MATT: “Sorry about that. Yannick. Yannick Dumel.
+
+LAURA: Yannick. I’m Jester. It’s nice to meet you.
+
+MATT: "Nice to meet you as well, Jester. Inside
+there is Jan. She helps run the place. Fantastic.
+
+I’ll go get your gold for you.”
+
+SAM: Do you sell flasks?
+
+MATT: “I do not work in smaller bits of metal,
+unfortunately. More the hefty kind. My apologies.
+
+If you’re looking for flasks–” Takes a moment and
+thinks of something. “There’s Wares & Ends.
+
+They’ve probably got something there for you.
+There’s Packwearer’s Provisions, they probably got
+
+flasks around there. Well, they probably have some
+at the Lodge of the Eclipse, that’s possible.”
+
+TRAVIS: Lodge of the Eclipse?
+
+MATT: “Right, right. That’s the more hoity-toity
+night time tavern here in the Pentamarket.”
+
+TALIESIN: Why is it called Lodge of the Eclipse?
+
+MATT: “Because at nighttime they has the great
+shows on stage.”
+
+MARISHA: You know anyone that might want a scary
+lion head thing to decorate their walls?
+
+LAURA: Specifically one that’s melting.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there is a taxidermist, is what I
+think she’s asking.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know about a taxidermist,
+unfortunately. I’m pretty sure if you ask around
+
+you can find someone willing to pay for that. I
+probably ask the Hall of Erudition, they deal in
+
+weird things and strange beasties. Sorry about
+that.”
+
+MARISHA: What did you say the fancy tavern was?
+
+MATT: “Lodge of the Eclipse.”
+
+MARISHA: Lodge of the Eclipse.
+
+LIAM: We might be able to take it to a school or a
+medical facility to sell. Studies.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m good.
+
+SAM: Let’s go.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys head on towards where
+now?
+
+LAURA: The bath!
+
+LIAM: We’re in the pentagram, penta–
+
+MATT: Pentamarket.
+
+LIAM: So we’re close to the library? I thought it
+was in that area.
+
+MATT: No, the library is– the Archive you’re
+talking about. It’s in the western side of the Pentamarket.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so we’re closer now then we were. I
+don’t see the entrance from where we are, or do we?
+
+MATT: No, it’s not one of the tallest towers in
+the city. In fact, the Tri-Spires, as it’s called,
+
+has three massive towers of all different designs
+that lord over the rest of the city. They’re the
+
+first things you saw when you crested the hill on
+the way into the city the night before. This one
+
+is still visible from your perspective, though.
+It’s a little more squat and maybe four or five
+
+stories tall.
+
+LIAM: The whole kit and caboodle is visible from
+here?
+
+MATT: Well, you can see where the Archive is but
+it’s maybe another ten minute walk to get there.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Does anyone mind if we swing by and
+just take a look at the Archive? Not go in, you
+
+know, we have other things we’re going to do, but
+just to take a look.
+
+TRAVIS: At the outside?
+
+MARISHA: It’s a bit of a tourist trap, but sure.
+
+LIAM: You have seen it before?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I lived here for like a short time,
+passed through.
+
+LIAM: Okay, how long did you do that?
+
+MARISHA: A few months.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Well, I am a tourist.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s pretty.
+
+TRAVIS: If it’s on the way sure.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Is the board between here and there? The
+job board.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, the postings, yeah. What was it?
+
+SAM: The King’s Hall.
+
+TRAVIS: The King’s Hall. Where the Herald of the
+Hall is. Where we can get that retraction.
+
+MATT: The King’s Hall is actually not that far
+from the Archive. It would be a brief detour to
+
+get there.
+
+TALIESIN: We can do a couple to the Archive,
+couple to the King’s Hall. Just pick it up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s cool.
+
+LIAM: Would you like to show me the Archive? Not the
+inside, the outside.
+
+MARISHA: I think it’s this direction, if I
+remember.
+
+LIAM: Never mind, I don’t want to put you out.
+Anyone want to go see the Archive?
+
+TRAVIS: Enthusiasm, Beau, enthusiasm.
+
+MARISHA: Aww, fuck.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, work on what we did, come on.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think Caleb likes me.
+
+TRAVIS: Just try, give it a whirl.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+SAM: It would be great if you could both take
+me!
+
+MARISHA: All right. Hey, Caleb!
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+MARISHA: Right this way!
+
+LAURA: She’s really scary.
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering) Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: Is that– fuck. Was that all right?
+Fuck.
+
+LIAM: It’s just a volume thing sometimes. Okay
+let’s go look–
+
+MARISHA: (louder) He said enthusiasm!
+
+LIAM: Oh jeez!
+
+MARISHA: Was that not…? Let’s go this way.
+
+TRAVIS: Baby steps.
+
+MATT: All right, so where are you heading first?
+
+LIAM: The Archive.
+
+MATT: The Archive, okay. On the way another town
+crier crosses by; another individual, same garb, a
+
+middle aged woman, hair pulled back into a very
+tight bun with the tufts of curled hair around the
+
+edges. Same tabard in the front and she’s shouting
+out, “Riot in Rexxentrum squashed for peace!
+
+Radical groups brought to justice under the
+crown!”
+
+MARISHA: Ooh!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, that’s some dirty fucking shit.
+
+LAURA: I follow behind her and yell: Town crier
+has toilet paper stuck to her shoe!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: In the middle of her next line, “Two weeks
+to–”
+
+LIAM: So you do know what toilet paper is.
+
+MATT: “Two weeks’ time to the Harvest Close
+Festival! Victory Pit in the Pentamarket, entry
+
+begins in four days!”
+
+LAURA: Wait, what did she just say?
+
+MARISHA: Harvest Festival?
+
+MATT: Harvest Close Festival.
+
+MARISHA: Harvest Close.
+
+MATT: Harvest Close. It’s the end of the harvest.
+
+MARISHA: It’s in two weeks?
+
+MATT: In two weeks.
+
+MARISHA: In a fortnight.
+
+MATT: In the Victory Pit in the Pentamarket. Entry
+begins in four days.
+
+MARISHA: Victory Pit!
+
+LAURA: We need to get a really big piece of
+vegetable.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah! Big pumpkins.
+
+MATT: You eventually find your way to the outside
+of the Archive. Where you had seen was the
+
+tapering tower that had the dome, with the
+polished sun reflection on one side, the rest of
+
+it you can see with the intricate carvings that
+happen with each bit of the spiral as it continues
+
+downward. You can see three specific smaller
+spires that from this perspective make it look
+
+like, I would say, almost like a TIE fighter on
+its side. It has a series of smaller three spires
+
+at the base and a central spire that is the
+mainstay of the library. You can see there’s a
+
+double door at the base and a number of
+individuals dressed in deep grey robes with blue
+
+sashes, very gray and blue color scheme. As you
+approach, the outside of it you can see folks
+
+entering in and out but as they enter and exit the
+facility they usually enter and exit under the
+
+watch and being escorted by one of these
+individuals that seem to be members of the Archive.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure is pretty.
+
+LIAM: I would just like to look around. It’s in a
+square, you say?
+
+MATT: It’s built off of one of the main roads that
+leads in the direction of where the King’s Hall
+
+is. So it’s not in a major square area, but it’s
+off a large road.
+
+LIAM: Yeah? Well I am no super spy, but I would
+like to just look at the area and see what I see
+
+in the nature of security, other than these
+obvious robed figures.
+
+MATT: All the windows that exist are at least
+eight feet off the floor and look to be a very
+
+thick stained glass. The only entrances you see
+are currently guarded by at least two members of
+
+the Archive and the dress of them actually is very
+close to the individual that helped in the trial
+
+that you had in Trostenwald who introduced himself
+as Zeenoth, the one who helped provide information
+
+that eventually got you off the hook for that
+trial. You can now see similarities in the color
+
+scheme of their attire and the way that it’s worn.
+It’s ceremonial. It looks like it comes with a
+
+ceremonial robe. They’re all uniform to a certain
+extent with some being more intricate and longer
+
+with more jewelry and they seem to have a little
+more station.
+
+LIAM: And you said everyone going in and out was
+being escorted by one of these individuals?
+
+MATT: Escorted by one of these, yes.
+
+LIAM: If I see one or two people going in or out
+what do they look like?
+
+MATT: One of them you see appears to be a woman,
+very well dressed, looks to be a high collar, a
+
+buttoned up blouse of some kind, a dress that just
+barely cuts off right where her ankles hit the
+
+ground with very nice shoes. Looks to be a very
+well off humanoid woman, a human.
+
+SAM: Does she look grumpy?
+
+MATT: She looks stoic. Leaves with a very–
+(laughs)
+
+SAM: Is she leaving or coming?
+
+MATT: Leaving.
+
+SAM: I will follow her.
+
+MATT: Okay. The other one looks to be a man
+probably in his late 30s or so, also human. He has
+
+a cluster of small pieces of parchment that are
+folded and wadded into his arm and he’s leaving
+
+like he just was either taking something out or
+just retrieving something.
+
+LIAM: Same fancy type?
+
+MATT: Less fancy than her, but still more well off
+than most of the other individuals that have
+
+passed through.
+
+LIAM: Fancier than me?
+
+MATT: Oh yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Okay. That’s a beautiful building.
+They’re all wearing the same thing.
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
+
+LIAM: You’ve lived here for a few months. What do
+you know about this place?
+
+MARISHA: There’s a lot of books in it and fancy
+people are super interested in it.
+
+LIAM: Obviously I am very interested in learning.
+Is it easy to gain admittance? Do you know that
+
+sort of thing?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not entirely sure.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: I know that they’re super into their
+knowledge.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: They’re like “Eh, knowledge, means you’re
+like powerful or something.”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s what it means.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Knowing’s better, yeah, books.
+
+LIAM: Well, you’ve really sold me on it, let’s go
+find the others.
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: While that’s happening, you are following
+this woman down.
+
+SAM: I’ll try to stay 25 feet behind her.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Ooh.
+
+SAM: 13? Oh! 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. No one immediately seems to pay mind
+and she’s currently eyes on the prize, heading in
+
+some direction with earnest intent. The escort, of
+course, that had helped her out of the Archive
+
+stays behind and reenters the building, and she
+continues on her own, but stays mainly on the main
+
+streets; doesn’t go and duck into any alleyways
+very much for her own personal safety during the
+
+day and staying out in the open.
+
+SAM: Does she have any bag, purse, visible
+necklace, pockets, anything pickable?
+
+MATT: There do appear to be two small pockets in
+the front waist part of the blouse and a small
+
+satchel that’s hanging off the right, over the
+left shoulder, off the right side of the body.
+
+LIAM: Do I have any chance in hell knowing where
+she went? Because I start looking around immediately.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Okay, no. That’s a one.
+
+MATT: You have no idea. You come back and Nott’s
+gone.
+
+LIAM: (panicked mumbling)
+
+MARISHA: She’s an adult goblin woman girl, she’s
+fine.
+
+LIAM: You’re not helping me. Like at all.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I look around. Do I see Nott? Kind
+of haphazardly.
+
+MATT: No. Not at this point.
+
+LIAM: We are going to look around now is what
+we’re doing.
+
+MATT: While the rest of you are regathering
+yourselves together to continue onto the next
+
+length of your journey, Nott–
+
+SAM: I’m going to cast Mage Hand and try to pick–
+well, let’s see, can I unbuckle the satchel thing
+
+or would it be easier to just get in a pocket?
+
+MATT: It’s up to you.
+
+SAM: I’ll go in a pocket, I guess.
+
+MATT: The front pocket?
+
+SAM: You said she had two side pockets, I think?
+
+MATT: Yeah, the front of the blouse.
+
+LAURA: Front of the blouse.
+
+SAM: Front of the blouse or a satchel on her side?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’ll do the side satchel.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll sleight of hand, please.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughing) What is it?
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Higher than ten.
+
+TRAVIS: Is she still with one of the–?
+
+LAURA: No, she’s alone.
+
+MATT: As you’re walking and you’re concentrating,
+you watch as the satchel itself lifts and tugs and
+
+just tugs. Her head spins around and looks behind
+her, looks back.
+
+SAM: I press up against the wall.
+
+MATT: Glances around confused, eyes one of the
+small pauper children that’s off to the side,
+
+begging on the side of the road–
+
+ALL: Oh no.
+
+SAM: It was that one.
+
+MATT: Scoffs and holds her chin up and then
+continues walking with a brisker pace.
+
+SAM: I follow at a brisker pace.
+
+MATT: Make another stealth check, please.
+
+SAM: Stealth? 22.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, that’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, killed the baby and false
+imprisonment for the kids.
+
+LIAM: That’s how the empire works.
+
+MATT: Okay, brisker pace, but does not seemed to
+take notice of your tracking.
+
+SAM: I’ll get a little closer this time and try
+for one of the pockets this time.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+SAM: Ooh. 12.
+
+LIAM: That’s better.
+
+MATT: There’s a brief moment where you’ve watched
+the flap of the blouse open up and expand a bit as
+
+the Mage Hand begins to reach in for what is
+within and then with a slight tug you watch as two
+
+of the blouse buttons bounce off and just a bit of
+the brassiere shows and she closes her shirt real
+
+fast and looks about again and turns and what you
+can see is a man there who’s selling apples on a
+
+small cart on the side, is maybe two feet from her
+and goes “Miss?” With the apple and she smacks him
+
+right in the face and he, “What was– what?!” “How
+dare you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: Then holding her shirt closed and bundles up
+her satchel up in her arms and is now beelining it
+
+deeper into the city.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t let her get away with that.
+
+SAM: I run up to where that happened and pick up
+the two buttons.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: They’re nice buttons.
+
+SAM: I come back. I did it! I got these two
+things. They’re very nice and round and shiny.
+
+LIAM: They’re very nice. Where did they come from?
+
+SAM: A very grumpy person. She was awful. She
+scowled at children and slapped an innocent man
+
+for no reason. She was evil!
+
+LIAM: Insight check. That is a 20.
+
+MATT: If you want to insight check her, you’ve got
+to make a deception check.
+
+LIAM: Well, maybe she believes it, I don’t know.
+
+SAM: I believe it! She was a horrible person.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay well.
+
+SAM: My itch has been scratched.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel good about everything that just
+happened.
+
+LAURA: In the time that Nott was gone could I spot
+the Allhammer temple? Just so I know where it is?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Or the Platinum House.
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately no, the Platinum House nor the
+Hearth of the Allhammer were noticed. The Hearth
+
+of the Allhammer is in the Pentamarket on the
+northern side and you guys had cut through to get
+
+directly to the vicinity of the bathhouse. In the
+area you are now in the city, you don’t have any
+
+sort of visual on the Platinum House. As you guys
+have gathered yourselves together and you make
+
+your way towards The Steam’s Respite, we’re going
+to take a break! Because it is nine o'clock.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Nein.
+
+MATT: We’ll be back here in a few minutes, we’ll
+make this as quick of a break as we can so we can
+
+jump back in. In the meantime, guys, sit tight,
+we’ll see you again in a few minutes.
+
+ALL: Yeah!
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everyone. Welcome back. Thank
+you for your patience. Once again, you didn’t miss
+
+anything. Sorry, we didn’t have a giveaway this
+week. We hope to have one up and going real soon
+
+from our folks at Wyrmwood. In the meantime, hang
+tight, you didn’t miss anything.
+
+MARISHA: You have shit all over your arm!
+
+LIAM: Oh, I pooped on myself.
+
+MARISHA: Ew, you really are Caleb. What is that?
+
+LIAM: That’s not poop, that’s where I’ve had this
+circle.
+
+MARISHA: No, that is–
+
+LIAM: That’s Pocky chocolate.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to dad thumb you.
+
+LIAM: That’s Pocky chocolate.
+
+MARISHA: That’s gross.
+
+LIAM: It’s just fecal matter, it’s not like
+it’s–
+
+MATT: Anyway, welcome back, guys. Great to have
+you. You guys coast alongside the road leading
+
+towards the Steam’s Respite. You catch a glance at
+the King’s Hall. You see a massive structure of
+
+bronze and cobalt that is, essentially, the
+central courthouse of the city. You can see its
+
+this massive, tall, single story that stands at
+least 20 feet high, with long thin windows about
+
+every 15 or so feet. The crownsguard presence is
+pretty thick. You see probably, at first glance,
+
+at least ten or so that are watching the front as
+general sentries. There it is. You do also, at a
+
+quick glance, see a ten-foot by five-foot large,
+heavy piece of wooden board that is standing on
+
+its own about four feet from the main entrance to
+the right. It has a number of pieces of parchment
+
+stuck to it. Are you guys continuing on? Head to
+the bath house? What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: Take a gander?
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got Mr. Memory Board here to scan
+the thing.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I just take a quick look at it.
+
+LAURA: Are there people watching the board right
+now?
+
+MATT: Looks like there’s one person scanning past
+in the process of reading and looking at things as
+
+they go. Looks to be a person in basic leather
+armors. Probably a sellsword of some kind.
+
+LAURA: As soon as he walks away, is there anybody,
+any guards looking at the board?
+
+MATT: Not directly reading it, but there are,
+right now, four that are within a 15-foot
+
+proximity of it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a lot of guards.
+
+LAURA: That’s a lot of guards at this one board.
+
+MATT: Well, the board’s right at the front what is
+essentially the courthouse center of the entire city.
+
+TRAVIS: Are we all hanging back? I’ll walk up with
+Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: Works for me.
+
+SAM: Is there a place I can duck away for a
+second, or is there a–
+
+MATT: There is away from the building, but there’s
+nothing–
+
+SAM: I walk away from the building, cast Disguise
+Self on myself and make myself look exactly like Fjord.
+
+MATT: Just a shorter version.
+
+MARISHA: But tiny? Oh my god.
+
+SAM: I’ve never done this before. I’ve only seen
+people do that, so that’s what I’m going to do.
+
+MATT: The height difference you can create with
+Disguise Self, I believe, is it a foot?
+
+SAM: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so you have–
+
+SAM: I’m four-foot tall.
+
+MATT: You’re a four-foot tall Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord Junior.
+
+MATT: A perfect replica of Fjord on a smaller
+scale emerges from the shadows and sidles up
+
+alongside you, Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a very focused Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh wow. Like a tiny little Fiesta.
+
+SAM: Howdy.
+
+LIAM: Are you doing a variation of Mother’s Love
+right now?
+
+SAM: Well, I’ve never used this spell before, so I
+just did what you did.
+
+LIAM: That’s good. Mistakes that I have made,
+learn from them. Keep quiet.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to say the same.
+
+SAM: (softer) Howdy.
+
+MATT: As you approach the board, which you can see
+has atop of it pressed into the wood the lettering
+
+that say Task Board. The heavy, wooden board looks
+like in immediate view of it, there are maybe
+
+eight pieces of paper that are currently stapled
+to it with various rusted nails that have been
+
+reused, and they have been placed onto it, or have
+been stuck in and then replaced into it. There’s
+
+probably close to 45 or 50 other rusted nails that
+are stuck there and have been left that have
+
+currently holding nothing to it. You do see
+through a first glance, both of you, as you look
+
+past them, a lot of them are looking for general
+work helping construction, some are looking for
+
+people that want to help reinforce buildings that
+are crumbling, there are some that are looking for
+
+folks that can help shoo away parts of the
+Outersteads that are encroaching upon the
+
+farmlands on the outside of the wall. You do see
+one that says, “Seeking and paying for any
+
+information on Myriad activity in the city.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit. Cops.
+
+SAM: I don’t know what that is. Okay.
+
+MATT: There is one that says, “Reward for
+information on rebel gatherings and anti-Crown rhetoric.”
+
+MARISHA: Ooh.
+
+MATT: There’s one that says–
+
+SAM: Let’s do it!
+
+MATT: There’s another that says, “Proof of others’
+worship of heretical gods paid in gold.” One that
+
+says, “Looking for work for the glory of our King
+Bertrand. Good pay and adventurous living as a
+
+soldier of the Righteous Brand. Seek Leopold
+Wanstiker at the Marrow Keep.”
+
+SAM: What?
+
+MATT: Wanstiker. Wanstiker.
+
+LAURA: Can I try sleight of hand and just try to
+make that into Wangstacker?
+
+MATT: Yeah, go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: I believe in you.
+
+LIAM: So we’re all up there now?
+
+MATT: Apparently.
+
+LAURA: It was a 12.
+
+MATT: No one seems to notice as you quickly
+scribble out and alter the visual to where it says
+
+“Wangstacker at the Marrow Keep in the Signet
+Wall,” and then, “Roving beast in need of
+
+extermination. Must be trained sellsword with
+experience.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s right up our alley!
+Extermination!
+
+LIAM: Control action.
+
+MATT: There looks to be one piece of engraved
+brass or bronze material on the side that says,
+
+“All job inquiries to be taken to Herald of the
+Hall Voloshin within.”
+
+MARISHA: The fucking Herald.
+
+LIAM: Would you repeat that last phrase please,
+DM?
+
+MATT: Oh, “All job inquiries are to be taken to
+Herald of the Hall–”
+
+LIAM: Herald of the Hall.
+
+MATT: Voloshin.
+
+LIAM: Voloshin?
+
+MATT: Yeah. V-O-L-O-S-H-I-N.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the guy the town crier said.
+
+SAM: Personally, I think that we should turn in
+those devious schemers and get all the gold we can.
+
+TRAVIS: No, look, come on. They confided in us.
+The last thing we should do is turn on that just
+
+for a simple coin.
+
+MARISHA: Besides, did you see how many posts on
+that board were all revolved around ratting people out?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I also don’t want to stick my neck
+out, but anything that is a thumb in the eye of
+
+the Empire, I’m all for.
+
+TALIESIN: Stitches get– eh snitches get
+stitches. Stitches are just–
+
+SAM AND TALIESIN: Stitches.
+
+TALIESIN: Snitches get stitches– wait–
+
+MARISHA: Stitches are just stitches?
+
+SAM: In the original Zimean–
+
+LAURA: It makes more sense.
+
+TALIESIN: One of the few.
+
+TRAVIS: I personally enjoyed the last beast that
+we slayed, but I think that we have plenty to
+
+discuss in that warm bath you’re talking about.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s time for a bath.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk there I talk to Caleb. You
+mentioned being like “Bah! Empire!”
+
+LIAM: Just now or do you mean just a moment ago?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Don’t say it in the open, you guys, wait
+until we’re in the bath.
+
+SAM: Yeah, let’s just mosey onto the bath, nice,
+slow, and steady.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you put your thumbs in your pocket and
+give a little waddle?
+
+SAM: (pathetically) Hyuck, hyuck.
+
+(laughing)
+
+TRAVIS: You look right on, right there.
+
+LIAM: He’s a little tiny mosey–
+
+MARISHA: It’s so cute!
+
+LAURA: It’s tiny little Fjord!
+
+TALIESIN: This is a dark mirror, man. A dark, dark
+mirror.
+
+TRAVIS: Give a little spit, so people know you’re
+coming.
+
+SAM: (spitting)
+
+TRAVIS: (tinging)
+
+SAM: (western flute trill)
+
+MATT: Which is strange because the spit actually
+emerges from your sternum.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MATT: As you progress, you eventually find
+yourself to the outside of The Steam’s Respite.
+
+Fairly simple looking building, of deeply
+dark-stained wood slats that are all vertical
+
+against heavy load-bearing columns at each major
+corner, but it’s fairly sizeable for its simple exterior.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve learned one thing in my travels:
+always hit the bathhouse first. Every major town.
+
+TRAVIS: Good to know.
+
+LIAM: Finally, a bath.
+
+MATT: You guys walk your way into the main
+chamber. There’s a couple benches to the right and
+
+left of you. There’s some small planters that have
+low-light plants being kept in the area to give a
+
+fresher scent. There is a small chair and a desk
+set up with a clerk, an older female half-orc,
+
+hunched but smiling with her hair gray, thick hair
+braided up on the sides and pinned in the back
+
+with a long spike of some kind with a lower jaw
+that extends with two visible tusks, but a warm
+
+smile amongst the rest of the nice flower dress
+that she wears. As you approach, she looks up from
+
+the desk. “Hello! You’ve come to the Respite. I am
+Miss Rima. Are all of you here for a bath?”
+
+LAURA: Yes, Miss Rima!
+
+MATT: “Would you like individual rooms?”
+
+LAURA: Oh, I think we plan on doing a lot of
+stuff, so probably all together.
+
+MATT: “Right, so the Common Room. It is less
+expensive, but less private. For the six of you,
+
+for the Common Chamber, that’ll run about three
+silver apiece.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Quite reasonable.
+
+LAURA: Rima, is there someone who can take
+clothing and clean it up as well while we are
+
+bathing?“
+
+MATT: "That can be provided at an additional cost,
+my dear. That’ll be an additional one silver each
+
+for the washing and cleaning fee.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, happily.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take it.
+
+LIAM: I’ll pass on it.
+
+LAURA: You probably shouldn’t, though.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s all clean right now. Pumat Sol
+cleaned him up.
+
+LAURA: They can stitch up the holes and stuff.
+
+LIAM: The clothes are still pretty shit, though.
+
+LAURA: No, you were Prestidigitation-ed.
+
+LIAM: My hair is killer right now. The clothes are
+old and shitty.
+
+MATT: The clothes are cleaner, they’re just
+tattered and patched.
+
+LIAM: Some stink don’t come off.
+
+LAURA: Ew! Like the poop splatter!
+
+LIAM: I meant blood, but sure.
+
+LIAM: The poop is right there.
+
+TALIESIN: Early 90s River Phoenix hair going
+everywhere of its own volition.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to have my clothes cleaned, yes.
+
+LAURA: Four silver.
+
+MATT: “Four, eight, 12, 16, 23 silver for the lot.
+Thank you so much.” Takes the change, leads you
+
+into a back chamber where you get undressed. There
+is a doorway that leads open into a central common
+
+hot spring bath that is dug out of the ground
+here. It has a rock perimeter to it, and the steam
+
+immediately hits you. It smells of herbs and
+soaps. The water itself is somewhat cloudy, and it
+
+looks like there’s maybe only four other people in
+there, obscured by the steam at the edges of the
+
+pool. As Miss Rima leaves your presence, you guys
+can finish disrobing and leaving your clothing
+
+behind and enter the bathhouse.
+
+MARISHA: I go in, and I’m like that drunk person
+at the hot tub at the hotel. Hi, how are you guys
+
+doing? Excuse me! Scoot over! I got more friends
+coming.
+
+LAURA: I run by her and say cannonball! And jump
+in.
+
+MATT: (water splashing)
+
+MARISHA: Told you.
+
+MATT: As the explosion of water hits, there’s this
+older couple in their 70s or so that, as you
+
+muscle in, they slowly scoot away. There’s this
+splash and they both (upset squealing) and avoid
+
+the space.
+
+TRAVIS: (elderly voice) My anniversary!
+
+MATT: As you come up out of the water, Jester, and
+(breathes), you hair flaps back on the back of
+
+your neck.
+
+LAURA: Hair like the Little Mermaid.
+
+MATT: Your eyes focus, and you see a familiar face
+in the water across from you. Leaning, arms
+
+akimbo, against the rock, with a thick hilt of a
+sword just resting, apparently–
+
+TRAVIS: In the hot tub?!
+
+MATT: In the hot tub. You see a familiar
+pale-looking, muscular woman, with darker hair
+
+that fades to light, as there is Yasha, staring at
+you with a curious look.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Fresh off the east coast!
+
+TRAVIS: Beast mode!
+
+MATT: Scoot in a bit.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, hi!
+
+ALL: Oh, hi!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m here! A little sleepy, but I’m here!
+Oh! Well, if it isn’t my old friends.
+
+MARISHA: The fuck?
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: You know, I’ve been tracking you guys for
+quite some time, and I knew you were here, but I
+
+just figured I might want to get a bath first and
+get a rub down. Treat myself.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh man. You come to these places a lot?
+I’ve never been.
+
+ASHLEY: I enjoy sometimes the finer things of
+life.
+
+MARISHA: She rolled with Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I walk out of the changing room and walk
+by, don’t even– just give a kiss on the head.
+
+Took you bloody long enough to find us.
+
+ASHLEY: I know, I’m sorry. I had some things to
+do.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m, for the record, tattooed a lot.
+
+MATT: Explain the tattoos.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. I apologize that there’s no art
+yet. I’ll get around to that. There’s a snake
+
+tattoo that curls all the way up the arm. That
+goes all the way up into the peacock– people have
+
+seen the top of the peacock, but the peacock is
+actually roving into a big floral piece that goes down
+
+into a snake that is swallowing the hand. There is
+an eye in a pyramid piece with another eye
+
+illuminated above it. It seems to almost go into
+the hairline, all the way up the back. There’s a
+
+moon and sun connected to the shoulder piece that
+all interconnects. The whole thing’s very complicated.
+
+LAURA: Is it all upper body?
+
+TALIESIN: It is all upper body, yeah.
+
+LAURA: What about the Prince Albert?
+
+TALIESIN: Except for– do you actually know what
+that is?
+
+LAURA: I do.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no, I don’t.
+
+TRAVIS: She knows a lot about dicks, remember?
+
+SAM: Poor Ashley. Wherever she goes, it’s body
+tattoos.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: I found him in the woods. In a Bag of
+Holding.
+
+TALIESIN: Each tattoo has 15 meanings.
+
+LIAM: Have you been hot on our heels this whole
+time to keep pace with us?
+
+ASHLEY: You guys are not very discreet. You’re
+pretty easy to follow.
+
+LAURA: Did you see what happened in Alfield?
+
+ASHLEY: Uh, yeah.
+
+LAURA: That was us. We killed them all.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I came for the aftermath of it, but
+I didn’t see. Or I would have jumped in and
+
+helped, of course.
+
+SAM: Why are you following us? And by the way,
+even though I am totally naked, I still look like–
+
+MATT: A fully clothed, tiny Fjord. Yeah. Even when
+you remove your clothing, they just shed off your
+
+body and they still visually appear on you. It’s a
+very strange visual.
+
+SAM: It’s me, the goblin, by the way.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh. I do remember you quite well.
+
+SAM: Why were you following us?
+
+ASHLEY: I said I was going to meet you here in
+Zadash.
+
+LAURA: We told her where we were going to go.
+
+SAM: Oh. But don’t you have mysterious big person
+things to do?
+
+ASHLEY: I did. I have things that I occasionally
+tend to, and I did.
+
+SAM: Did you do them?
+
+ASHLEY: Ish.
+
+SAM: (whispering) So mysterious.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not that mysterious. I just have
+things that I have to do sometimes.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re looking to get in some–
+
+ASHLEY: Trouble?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: They paid us 60 gold for three days.
+
+ASHLEY: You made 60 gold in three days?
+
+LAURA: We killed things for money!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never made money like this.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got the head of a manticore out on
+our cart. Melting in the sun.
+
+SAM: I stole two buttons!
+
+ASHLEY: Oh. How nice! What do they look like,
+these buttons?
+
+SAM: They’re in my existing clothes.
+
+ASHLEY: Your other clothing?
+
+SAM: They’re in the other room. They’re very nice,
+though.
+
+ASHLEY; You’re among friends. You don’t have to
+wear any clothes if you don’t want.
+
+SAM: No, I’m okay.
+
+LAURA: Oh, are you free of bandages and everything
+too and we just can’t see it?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I handed all of those bandages to be
+washed.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: I did hear that you’ve been calling
+yourselves something? I hear a name floating
+
+around, that you’re calling yourselves the Mighty
+Nein?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: We are getting a reputation!
+
+TALIESIN: Word of mouth. You don’t need a big,
+public thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Not too much, Caleb. It’s all right. Not
+too much.
+
+LIAM: How many people have you heard that from?
+
+ASHLEY: Three and a half.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s less than a handful.
+
+TALIESIN: Three and one dead.
+
+TRAVIS: Not even worth mentioning at all.
+
+LIAM: In a handful of days.
+
+ASHLEY: In a handful of days.
+
+SAM: And is our reputation intimidating?
+Threatening?
+
+ASHLEY: It’s neither here nor there, but just for
+clarification, is it Nine, as the number nine–
+
+SAM: Yes. It’s the number nine.
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, that’s not correct.
+
+LAURA: So we still need a few people left.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be very hard to search for
+us if they don’t know if it’s Nine or Nein.
+
+SAM: No, it’s Nine, the number nine.
+
+MARISHA: It’s deliberately con– are they looking
+for nine people?
+
+SAM: That’s right.
+
+ASHLEY: You look different.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought it was “no.”
+
+LIAM: Yes. I have been in this bath for a few
+minutes. No, you were here when I got here. That’s
+
+true. We visited an arcane shop and the
+gentle…men? I’m not sure, really. The
+
+proprietors of the shop did a little dippity doo
+to me and it just took everything away.
+
+LAURA: Did you know there’s a spell that can do
+that?
+
+ASHLEY: No. I actually don’t know much about
+spells and things.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, he gave me the carwash. Took it all
+away.
+
+ASHLEY: Nice.
+
+MARISHA: That’s something different from where I
+come from.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I don’t like this. I start sinking
+into the bath, enveloping everything, and sitting
+
+on the bottom and holding my breath for a little
+while.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we’ve lost Caleb. Should we discuss
+the potential job offers that we’ve collected?
+
+TALIESIN: Also, if we’re going to get him back, we
+going to have to have an agreement about the fact
+
+that, while there’s going to be a certain amount
+of advertising necessary for this kind of venture,
+
+there are many of us– and I think it’s fair to
+say– that want to keep things quiet. As quiet as possible.
+
+TRAVIS: I agree. I am also not looking to attract
+any attention.
+
+MATT: (clapping) You hear this four series of
+quick snapping claps, and you hear, “Heat it up!”
+
+You hear the voice of Miss Rima from within, and
+you watch as two side doors open. These small
+
+troops of women and men come through with these
+pots of heated water, and then dump them into the
+
+bath to refresh the heat, and then exit again and
+then close the doors behind them.
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you!
+
+LIAM: Oh, it’s hot down there on the ears!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I wasn’t going to tell you.
+
+SAM: I’m not in the water.
+
+LAURA: You’re not getting in the water?
+
+SAM: Nope.
+
+LAURA: You’re just standing off to the side,
+Nott?
+
+SAM: Yep.
+
+LAURA: But you’re naked.
+
+SAM: Possibly, yes.
+
+LAURA: You’re ready to come in. Come into the–
+
+ASHLEY: Have you been in the water at all?
+
+SAM: No, I’d prefer not to.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you not like going into the water?
+
+SAM: No, thank you.
+
+LAURA: What is it about it?
+
+SAM: It’s creepy. It’s dangerous in there. It can
+drown a person.
+
+MARISHA: So wait. You’re creeped out by water and
+you’re creeped out by fire? Man, covering the
+
+spectrums. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott, do you know how to swim?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I haven’t tried in a while.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we can certainly teach you.
+
+ASHLEY: We could hold you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. It’s very shallow here. Very little
+risk.
+
+TALIESIN: My father just threw me right in. That’s
+how I learned.
+
+MARISHA: You know, that’s actually–
+
+TRAVIS: We’re not going to do that.
+
+TALIESIN: No, that’s a terrible idea.
+
+SAM: No, that sounds terrifying and horrible!
+
+TALIESIN: It was awful, but here we are.
+
+LIAM: I could hold you and you could do the dog
+paddle. Have you ever seen the dog paddle before?
+
+SAM: I mean, it seems dangerous, though. How do
+you breathe in there?
+
+MARISHA: Well, you keep your head above water.
+
+LIAM: Well, you know.
+
+MARISHA: Here, I take Nott and I say, hold my
+hands. Just hold my hands. Okay, ready? And I pull
+
+Nott into the water and I go: Now kick kick kick!
+There you go! Kick kick kick! Keep kicking! Keep
+
+kicking! Good job! And I put her back on the
+edge.
+
+SAM: (coughing) It got in my nose!
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, that brought it back.
+
+TRAVIS: She vomits up a popsicle into the pool.
+
+MARISHA: It’s okay. See?
+
+LAURA: See? How did it feel?
+
+SAM: It wasn’t terrible.
+
+LIAM: Does the little Fjord look wet or dry?
+
+MATT: Looks dry. But leaving a trail of water
+behind.
+
+LIAM: I love magic so much.
+
+SAM: It’s not bad.
+
+LAURA: Are the old couple looking at us like we’re
+weird?
+
+MATT: Yes. They’re both off, holding each other,
+just going.
+
+LIAM: Hey, they’re all about to start having sex.
+You might want to get out of here.
+
+MATT: They immediately get up and start leaving
+into the changing room, exiting the chamber.
+
+LAURA: Is there anyone else in this pool with us?
+
+MATT: At the moment, no.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Yeah! It’s all ours! It’s a party room
+now!
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think they understood that was
+an invitation.
+
+TRAVIS: So here’s what we got. We got “gold from
+'My-riad’ activity?”
+
+LAURA: Myriad.
+
+TRAVIS: Myriad activity. Whatever that is.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s exciting.
+
+TRAVIS: We got “reward for rebel gatherings.”
+Which we are not going to do. We’ve got “tracking
+
+down heretical god worship.” I don’t think we’re
+feeling that one, right?
+
+LIAM: With this one?
+
+LAURA: Probably a bad thing to do!
+
+SAM: Do you have a god that you worship? Because
+we’ve just been told that’s it’s bad juju around here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Apparently there are only six
+deities they allow to be worshipped publicly here.
+
+ASHLEY: What are the six deities?
+
+TRAVIS: The Allhammer, the Raven Queen, the–
+
+LAURA: Platinum Dragon.
+
+SAM: The Dawnfather, the Annoying Mistress?
+
+MATT: The Knowing Mis–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: That’s a different pantheon all together.
+
+MARISHA: What was it? The Dawnfather, the Raven
+Queen, the Knowing Mistress, the Allhammer–
+
+MATT: The Lawbearer.
+
+MARISHA: The Lawbearer!
+
+LIAM: Do you have any sort of religion or
+tradition of heavy metal or something?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, I do.
+
+SAM: Are you in the clear?
+
+ASHLEY: Not here.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Do you worship the Traveler too?
+
+ASHLEY: I do not.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. I thought I would have known you
+if you did.
+
+ASHLEY: Probably.
+
+LAURA: We have really small group meetings. It’s
+usually just me.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh. He sounds like a great– so many
+adventures. With traveling and with him.
+
+LAURA: What about you?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I don’t feel like I’m comfortable to
+say here–
+
+SAM: We can see your vagina.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you don’t have anything to hide from
+us.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, it’s underwater, but–
+
+SAM: So we’re all comfortable.
+
+TALIESIN: One assumes there’s a mist that’s just
+covering everything–
+
+MATT: It obscures it to the point where, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: You stand up and it’s still like–
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, nudity’s going great and all,
+but this is more about comfortability.
+
+LIAM: As a victim of Campaign One: yes, there has
+to be.
+
+LAURA: Everything is a milk bath.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you!
+
+LIAM: That’s not milk!
+
+TRAVIS: We also got, apparently, Winestacker. Wang
+stacker? Yeah, he had something, at the Morrow Keep?
+
+LAURA: He wanted people to join the military, so
+no.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re not going to do that. But
+there is a roving beast, which feel like falls
+
+into our wheelhouse.
+
+LAURA: I like killing roving beasts.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know what a wheelhouse is, but I
+feel pretty positive about the metaphor in general.
+
+LAURA: Nott, do you want me to wash your hair for
+you? No one will see. Because you look like Fjord.
+
+SAM: All right, that’ll be nice!
+
+TRAVIS: If you’re not planning on bouncing tout
+suite, might be a fair way to find our way in the town.
+
+ASHLEY: Sometimes I have to go, but I like killing
+things, so sign me up.
+
+TALIESIN: My god, the money.
+
+ASHLEY: And my god, the money.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never seen anything like it.
+
+LAURA: We made so much money off of ears!
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, we really did.
+
+ASHLEY: Just ears alone?
+
+TALIESIN: Three months’ worth of shows, like
+that!
+
+ASHLEY: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: The Crownsguard have so much money.
+
+TALIESIN: And they’re so lazy!
+
+LAURA: And we’re going to make a whole lot of
+gold over at the Pillow Trove.
+
+ASHLEY: What is the Pillow Trove?
+
+LAURA: It’s a fancy hotel place.
+
+TRAVIS: Apparently Jester’s mother’s going to hook
+it up, right?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm!
+
+ASHLEY: Who’s your mother?
+
+LAURA: She’s the Ruby of the Sea.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like I’ve heard of the Ruby of the
+Sea.
+
+ASHLEY and TALIESIN: [whisper inaudibly]
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I have heard of the Ruby of the Sea.
+That’s pretty spectacular that that’s your mother.
+
+LAURA: I know!
+
+MARISHA: She has her own jingle.
+
+SAM: How does that go again? (singing) Everybody
+knows the Ruby of the Sea!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (singing) The best lay
+around!
+
+LAURA: You guys have really bad memories because
+it was not like this at all.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Nott, now the next step is to get
+your head underwater. Okay, we’re going to take a
+
+big breath.
+
+LAURA: I’ve been sudsing up your hair. You have to
+do it to dunk your hair.
+
+SAM: To wash my hair?
+
+TRAVIS: Beau and I will hold you, and on the count
+of three, we’re going to go under.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: One, and a two, and a three!
+
+TRAVIS: We all go underwater with Nott.
+
+TRAVIS, MARISHA, and SAM: (bubbling)
+
+TRAVIS: And we bring him back up.
+
+SAM: (gasping) I’ll kill you all! I’ll kill every
+motherfucking one!
+
+TRAVIS: (shushing)
+
+LIAM: He’s done, you are with friends.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, you did great! You did great. You’re
+going to get a sticker.
+
+MARISHA: A sucker, at the end of this. From
+Jester, not from me, but you’ll get a sucker.
+
+TRAVIS: It didn’t burn, right? You lived. Great
+job.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+ASHLEY: How do you feel now? Are you still
+scared?
+
+SAM: I’m less scared, but it’s still
+uncomfortable, and I’d prefer to do it at my own
+
+speed, thank you very much.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want to stand at the side then, and
+hold the side?
+
+SAM: Hold the side, like this? Yes.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, there’s a heavier presence of the
+Empire here than there was in Trostenwald. How
+
+does that sit with you?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I know I have to be careful about
+some certain things. I think I’ll be fine.
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody’s chasing after you or giving you
+any heat, are they?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: Which one? I am lying!
+
+MATT: Generally you can say, “Do I believe her?”
+and then I’ll tell you to make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Do I believe her? I do! Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m not in trouble for anything. I think,
+if anything, it would be because of the god I’ve
+
+chosen to follow.
+
+LAURA: Which is whom?
+
+TRAVIS: Jester!
+
+ASHLEY: It’s the Stormlord. I don’t know if you
+know of him.
+
+SAM: Do any of us know what the Stormlord is?
+
+MATT: Yeah. For basic religion, you would, because
+you’ve been outside the Empire. Those of you who
+
+grew up in the Empire, you would vaguely have an
+idea.
+
+LIAM: What about a big reader?
+
+MATT: You would, maybe. Make a religion check.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You are very aware of the Stormlord. You
+knew the Stormlord well. Since the Menagerie Coast
+
+largely relies on port trade, it is one of the
+most-worshipped gods in the Menagerie Coast for
+
+people who travel in and out of the ports there.
+Overseas, safe passage amongst bodies of water,
+
+contests of strength, proving worth through
+action. Lot of very interesting elements that the
+
+two of you would know of that following.
+
+TRAVIS: I understand the Stormlord is to be feared
+and respected.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, he’s pulled me out of what literally
+felt like the depths of hell, so I owe him my
+
+life. I will continue to serve him and do as he
+asks, whenever he asks.
+
+LAURA: Are you from the Menagerie Coast as well?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+LAURA: Are you from the empire?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+SAM: Where are you from?!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Sorry, Yasha. This is a lot. If you don’t
+want to answer, I understand.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you just joined back up with us. She
+doesn’t need to tell us her life story.
+
+MARISHA: When you say “pulled you from hell,”
+though–
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, Beau. Really?
+
+MARISHA: What? She brought it up.
+
+LIAM: You are literally undercutting the very
+thing I just said.
+
+TRAVIS: We are very glad that you’re back.
+
+TALIESIN: I vouch for her, for what it’s worth.
+
+TRAVIS: Which means a lot, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: It means what it means.
+
+LAURA: I trust her fully.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, what else do you do around a hot
+bath-spa-place?
+
+TALIESIN: You run into your friends who are also
+heading in odd directions.
+
+LAURA: You stand uncomfortably close to people you
+know and make them feel awkward. And I walk really
+
+close to you, Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: I tend to find it’s easier to look into
+somebody’s eyes and figure out if they’re lying to
+
+you if they’re naked and boiling.
+
+TRAVIS: Uh-huh. Jester– I forgot what I was going
+to say.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha, it’s interesting to see you
+without your cloak. You were super adamant about
+
+that one.
+
+ASHLEY: I was cold.
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Hot tub, you know.
+
+ASHLEY: I recall when you asked for it, it was a
+very cold day.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. Do you need a towel? Do you need
+me to get the hard-to-reach places in your back or
+
+anything for you, while we’re here?
+
+ASHLEY: I got it.
+
+TALIESIN: I like to think you’re scratching–
+You’ve got a sword in your hand, for god’s sake.
+
+TRAVIS: This is normal, right?
+
+ASHLEY: You pay extra to keep your weapons.
+
+SAM: You’ve been in the water before, haven’t
+you?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I know, it just seems to be happening
+faster than before. It’s all fragrant and stuff.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, Fjord! Are you melting?!
+
+SAM: He’s turning into a fish!
+
+LAURA: Oh no, you’re turning into water!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no, oh no. Jester, help. (fake drowning
+noises)
+
+LIAM: Five or six days in, I think, and I’m really
+questioning this decision.
+
+SAM: Should we take the mission to go kill the big
+beast?
+
+TRAVIS: I think so.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we take the beast. Again, keep it
+on the down-low. We’ll figure out a way of getting
+
+credit and keeping our reputation, but keeping it
+quiet.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: We take it to the Herald of the Hall.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: God, I hope his name is Harold.
+
+MARISHA: You guys know how Shakäste was all like
+(shushing) and secret, you know?
+
+LAURA: Is that what he was like?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, he was all like, “I’m mysterious.”
+
+TRAVIS: We met a guy named Shakäste, he was super
+cool. White afro, really awesome.
+
+MARISHA: Have you heard of him?
+
+LIAM: Totally blind.
+
+MARISHA: Everywhere he went, he was like,
+(shushing). He was super badass.
+
+TRAVIS: He said “baby” a lot.
+
+LAURA: He called us “baby.”
+
+ASHLEY: He called you a baby a lot?
+
+TRAVIS: But in a charming way.
+
+MARISHA: I was into it, I didn’t feel demeaned by
+it. It makes me feel good, makes me feel safe.
+
+TALIESIN: I felt demeaned, but in a good way.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, maybe we can–
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Be like that.
+
+LAURA: I get out and I start drying my hair and
+try to get pretty.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we’re up.
+
+MATT: You guys start making your way out of the
+bath, gathering your clothing once more, as you
+
+head back.
+
+TRAVIS: I gather my clothing away from Jester.
+
+LIAM: Is this one still in disguise? Nott, are you
+still in disguise?
+
+SAM: How long has it been?
+
+LIAM: It’s an hour, that it takes.
+
+MATT: You’ve been in here, catching up and soaking
+for about a half an hour, 40 minutes, so you’re
+
+getting pretty close to losing.
+
+SAM: I wrap a towel around myself, and then I’ll
+drop form.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, “son.”
+
+MATT: You now see the towel-covered, goblinoid
+form of Nott, her hair wet and tattered down
+
+across the face. It’s long in the front, the
+yellow eyes peeking through.
+
+LIAM: Are our clothes in here, or somewhere else?
+
+LAURA: They probably folded them up for us.
+
+LIAM: But I didn’t send mine off to be cleaned.
+
+TALIESIN: Then yours was in a locker.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to pull the spool of silver thread
+and I’ll take a length of it out, and I’m going to
+
+pull Nott’s hair back and do a little ponytail.
+Simple.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to wait until everyone gets
+out.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it. I was going to say, I wait and
+watch all my friends get out.
+
+TRAVIS: You all just sit on opposite sides.
+
+SAM: You guys coming?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I just want to make sure that I get
+my full time’s worth.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we paid a lot for this.
+
+TRAVIS: Should we catch you outside, then?
+
+MARISHA: No, it’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a really hot hot tub.
+
+LIAM: I think the moment’s passed for the rest of
+us. I think we should go.
+
+SAM: We’ll just go.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe they need more hot water, we’ll send
+some in on our way out.
+
+LIAM: Have fun storming the castle.
+
+MATT: The clean clothing is presented. You guys
+get dressed and your outfits are waiting for you
+
+in the dressing room.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m ready for Monster Hunter.
+
+LAURA: Who gives up first?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m real down for that showdown.
+
+MARISHA: We’re in hot tub chicken right now.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I don’t care to show anything.
+
+MARISHA: No?
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like this is a pool of honesty. I
+just wanted to see everybody else naked first.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s honestly kind of my thing.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m getting out.
+
+LIAM: And the water drops a foot and a half.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: It’s fun to watch her make her way out using
+the large greatsword essentially as a walking
+
+stick as she emerges from the tub.
+
+MARISHA: Do I get a nice view?
+
+MATT and ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+SAM: Roll for perv.
+
+TRAVIS: Perving on Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: And now I get out, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Backflip.
+
+MARISHA: Three-point landing.
+
+MATT: You guys have regathered your materials.
+You’ve reconvened outside the Steam’s Respite.
+
+It’s about midday now, about noon-ish. The rest of
+the day is still yours. What do you wish to do?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s find a herald. The maudlin
+herald.
+
+LAURA: While you guys do that, I need to go to The
+Pillow Trove, okay?
+
+LIAM: Where are you going?
+
+LAURA: I need to go to The Pillow Trove, which is
+the nice tavern in the place.
+
+LIAM: Would you mind, I don’t want to go in, but
+would you mind if I tagged along with you?
+
+LAURA: No, that’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: Will you be gone for a while, or is it a
+quick errand?
+
+LAURA: It’s a quick errand. I just need to pop in
+and pop out, you know how you do.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll see you back over here, then? Okay.
+
+LIAM: Nott, did you want to stick with the others?
+I’m going to run an errand with Jester.
+
+SAM: Do you need me?
+
+LIAM: Not for this. I should just be gone a couple
+of hours.
+
+SAM: Do you need health potions, because you might
+die?
+
+LIAM: I think chances are very low.
+
+SAM: Do you have one?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I have the one you secured for me,
+yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay, good.
+
+TALIESIN: Come on, Nott, it’ll be fine. We’ll see
+if we can meet anybody else who you could make
+
+feel better about who they are.
+
+LIAM: Go have fun. Maybe you get another button or
+two from a grumpy person.
+
+SAM: Excellent.
+
+LAURA: Before we leave, I run up and give Yasha a
+hug, and say: I’m glad you’re back.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, thank you, Jester. I get
+uncomfortable. I don’t hug her back, but I gently
+
+give her one pat.
+
+LIAM: Caleb sees this, and just goes–
+
+TRAVIS: Hug around the arms that are down, and
+you’re like–
+
+MATT: Perfect.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m trying. I’m very uncomfortable with
+human touch.
+
+LIAM: I feel like I know you better now.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll see you back at the King’s Hall.
+
+LAURA: Okie-dokie.
+
+MATT: Those of you heading to the King’s Hall, you
+make your way back to the familiar outside, this
+
+large center for law, order, and judgement within
+the city of Zadash. As you approach the doorways,
+
+the guards pass, but keep an eye very closely as
+you enter. On the interior, you can see there are
+
+two round tables with curved benches that meet the
+sides of it, and there you can see some of the
+
+crownsguard in the process of talking to various
+civilians and taking notes. There’s conversation
+
+about– pardon me. So?
+
+TRAVIS: Is there a desk, or a clerk?
+
+MATT: You don’t see a desk or a clerk, but you do
+see the crownsguard that are currently at the
+
+tables, talking to these individuals, and you see
+two other individual crownsguards that are
+
+standing and guarding two hallway entrances that
+lead further into the King’s Hall.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk up, I’m going to take my robe,
+and for the first time any time this party has
+
+seen, cross it over and tie it more
+traditionally.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll walk up to one of the king’s guard,
+ask him. We’re here to inquire about one of the
+
+postings. There’s a roving beast that needs taking
+care of.
+
+MATT: “Oh, let me go and get the Herald for you,
+hold on just a second.” He scoots out of the next
+
+hallway. A few moments later, you watch as this
+really stressed-looking male dwarf with these
+
+thick mutton chops and salt-and-pepper hair,
+well-groomed, combed really heavily to one side,
+
+the thick hair is being tamed to the point where,
+in a very Gene Wilder way, it’s combed and then
+
+(poof), out one side. As he walks in, he’s wearing
+long robes of gold and white and silver, and
+
+carries the holy symbol of the Lawbearer. You can
+see an axe that hangs on a chain with a scale
+
+embedded in the center of it. He walks in. “Right.
+So you’re inquiring about the job board?”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. We’re a few members of the
+group known as the Mighty Nein. We would like to
+
+take one of those listings off your hand, if we
+could.
+
+MATT: “All right. Which one in the task board you
+looking for?”
+
+TRAVIS: The one mentioning that roving beast.
+Seems about our speed.
+
+MATT: He gives a quick glance over all of you.
+“All right. Let me go ahead and pull this out.” He
+
+pulls a small side bag that has a bunch of pieces
+of paper in it. He unfurls one section, sets it
+
+down. “And your names?”
+
+MARISHA: Can’t we all go under The Mighty Nein?
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, but for the purposes of
+maintaining organization within the paperwork here
+
+we need to know the names of those who are to
+claim any rewards or benefits of completing a job.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m Philbin.
+
+MATT: “Philbin, all right. And you are?”
+
+LIAM: Regis.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it, I can’t say it now.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, fucker.
+
+MARISHA: Lawrence.
+
+MATT: “Lawrence.”
+
+SAM: Kylre.
+
+MATT: “Kylre.”
+
+TALIESIN: Esma.
+
+MATT: “Esma, all right.”
+
+ASHLEY: Um. Barry.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Short for Barrymore.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s short for Barrymore, but I just go by
+Barry.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: The head-shake afterward is the best
+
+ASHLEY: Oh! D&D Beyond! Am I remembering how to do
+this?
+
+SAM: What screen are you on?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m still new.
+
+SAM: Refreshing! What did you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: Refreshing, it’s loading.
+
+MARISHA: Ashley, that’s DocuSign, you’re in the
+wrong app completely!
+
+TALIESIN: Really, oh wow, that’s a number.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, 13.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it a minus?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a minus two.
+
+MATT: “All right, Barry. Okay (clears throat).
+This here is a writ of Lawmaster intent. This will
+
+"give you entrance to the location of where the job
+is supposed to take place. This supposed creature
+
+"has holed up in a sewer nexus right on where the
+Interstead Sprawl meets with the outer wall of the
+
+"Tri-Spires. We need you to travel down there, and,
+well, let’s say there’s a whole region on the
+
+"inside where we’ve been hearing about this backing
+up of various liquid and strange noises from
+
+"cleaners who were making their way through, so we
+sent a few crownsguards down and came across a
+
+"mass of congealed sewage slime and webbing, so the
+fucking cowards ran back and we need to dig
+
+"deeper. So here we are: find a way of whatever is
+creating this disturbance, kill it, take it back
+
+"with proof of the kill, whatever built that little
+nest, and the Crown is willing to drop you about
+
+"700 gold pieces.”
+
+TALIESIN: 700 gold pieces?
+
+MATT: “That’s correct.”
+
+TALIESIN: Just for the entrance, they are aware
+that there are several of us, we are just
+
+representatives of a slightly larger group.
+
+MATT: “Well, you have to divide it evenly from the
+700 you get.”
+
+TALIESIN: Of course, but we can all get entrance
+from this writ?
+
+MATT: “All the ones that are named on here.”
+
+TALIESIN: You need all the names of everybody
+involved?
+
+MATT: “There’s more involved?”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’re called the Mighty “Nine,”
+aren’t we?
+
+MATT: (groans) Takes the writ. “And who are the
+other companions?”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, let’s just send seven of us down
+for now.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s fair.
+
+SAM: Seven of nine?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, really? I’ve never felt such hatred
+than this moment. Wow, god damn it.
+
+TRAVIS: What are those other two called? I
+forget.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ve got Karen–
+
+TRAVIS: (laughing) Karen.
+
+SAM: And Rothschild.
+
+MATT: “Karen and Rothschild.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Wouldn’t that mean we would get 900
+gold? 100 per person– per, you know?
+
+MATT: “No, that would be 700 gold, split between
+the lot of you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Just to be clear, there’s no clearage of
+sewage? We’re just here to take care of whatever’s
+
+causing that webbing you mentioned.
+
+MATT: “Whatever’s causing the blockage, and the
+webbing, whatever else they found down there. Yes,
+
+"take care of that, bring back proof of the
+death.”
+
+TRAVIS: Proof of– okay.
+
+MARISHA: But you don’t know what did it?
+
+SAM: Do you know what kind of monster it is?
+
+MATT: “No fucking clue, that’s why you’re being
+paid 700 gold for it!”
+
+SAM: Okay. Have people been killed?
+
+MATT: “People have gone missing. You think you’re
+the first to try and take the job? No, it’s
+
+"dangerous! That’s why we’re paying so much. If you
+don’t want it, go away. If you want it, here’s the
+
+"writ, good luck.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Mighty obliged, we’ll take care of this
+most expediently.
+
+MARISHA: Bye.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait! Has anyone gone and come back?
+
+MATT: “There have been three times that it’s been
+taken up and one’s come back declining it and two
+
+"that have not.”
+
+TRAVIS: Declining it? For any specific reason or
+did they just change their mind?
+
+MATT: “Think they changed their mind a bit.”
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll take care of it.
+
+MATT: “I’m sure you will.”
+
+ASHLEY: I sense a little sarcasm in you, sir.
+
+MATT: “It’s a dwarven thing. We’ve got resting
+bitch voice.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: Fair enough.
+
+TRAVIS: Good day to you. We’ll take care of this.
+
+MATT: “Great. Well, shove off!”
+
+SAM: Okay!
+
+TRAVIS: And we leave.
+
+TALIESIN: We walk away.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Theoretically.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah?
+
+MARISHA: Not that I want to be a– what’s the
+word– “shysta”?
+
+LIAM: Shyster.
+
+SAM and TRAVIS: Shakäste.
+
+MARISHA: If they don’t know what the monster is,
+and we have a perfectly good manticore head–
+
+TALIESIN: Then they’re going to send people down
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not really our problem.
+
+TALIESIN: But then they’ll know.
+
+MARISHA: If we get the gold first.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe it came back to life?
+
+TALIESIN: As someone who actually has towns that
+they can’t re-enter again for reasons, that we
+
+will go into later, over booze– it’s best to keep
+a clear reputation.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau does have a good point, though. I
+mean, if we get down there and it’s some
+
+world-ending monster–
+
+TALIESIN: We can just run back up.
+
+MARISHA: We found a manticore, who knows, they
+make nests.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s a blacksmith who knows.
+
+MARISHA: Do you think the blacksmith cares what
+the Empire is doing? The blacksmith is just trying
+
+to survive.
+
+TALIESIN: I think the blacksmith will get ten gold
+for telling them if they find out there was a
+
+manticore down there that–
+
+MARISHA: If the blacksmith knows.
+
+SAM: It’s a good plan B.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s an emergency plan. It’s a good plan
+B, I’ll grant you that.
+
+TRAVIS: I head to the outside and wait out by the
+posting where we last saw Caleb and Jester.
+
+SAM: Karen and Rothschild.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Karen and Rothschild.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to juggle.
+
+MATT: After asking some questions and making your
+way around you eventually find the Tri-Spires,
+
+which is not too difficult to see once you know
+what you’re looking for. You see these three very
+
+unique-looking towers that ascend past a round
+wall that encases the interior of this elite
+
+portion of the city. As you approach the wall–
+the outer walls you see are basic stonework and
+
+masonry, thick as they may be and used as from a
+defensive position– these walls are made of solid
+
+marble, and look more decorative than designed to
+be a military buttress of any kind. As you
+
+approach, you can see there are two entrances to
+it– or at least you’ve been told there are two.
+
+The one that’s nearest to you opens in the
+direction of the Pentamarket, and while the
+
+portcullis is lifted you see there are two
+crownsguard there, currently standing with spears
+
+and shields at the ready. A horse-drawn carriage
+clomps by you and makes its way inside. You guys
+
+approach and one of the guards steps forward. “Can
+I help you, please?”
+
+LAURA: Yes, we have business at the Pillow Trove.
+
+MATT: “I don’t think you do. Please, shove off.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, I have business at the Pillow
+Trove.
+
+MATT: “What’s your business with the Pillow
+Trove?”
+
+LAURA: I have a package that’s being delivered
+there. What business do you have at the Pillow Trove?
+
+MATT: “Look, your friend here looks like he just
+wandered out of the Evening Nip if anything, so it
+
+would be best–”
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes, I hired him to protect me because
+you know I’m very fragile and delicate, but if he
+
+doesn’t look well enough to be my guard, you’re
+welcome to walk me instead.
+
+MATT: They look at each other. Make a persuasion
+check.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Come on!
+
+(exclamation of surprise)
+
+LAURA: 22!
+
+TALIESIN: That was impressive.
+
+MATT: Look at each other, look back at you. “All
+right, I’ll walk you in. Briefly. Then I’ll get
+
+back to my post. You, stay the fuck out of this.”
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Sorry, Caleb. I’ll let you know
+what it’s like, okay?
+
+MARISHA: Rejected!
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Frumpkin, kitty, kitty.
+
+MATT: “All right, to the Pillow Trove. This way,
+follow me.” The other guard steps past him and
+
+blocks you from the other two. As the guard guides
+you in he makes a big whistle sound, does a finger
+
+loop, and you watch as another guard gets relieved
+and comes down to help him at the front doorway.
+
+LAURA: You guys are really on top of your shit in
+here.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Now,
+stepping into the Tri-Spires–
+
+LIAM: Does that happen lickety-split, the second
+guard comes down?
+
+MATT: There’s maybe a 20 second period where he’s
+making his way down. You get the sense from the
+
+look of this, and glancing through the interior,
+you see elements of beautiful courtyard parks with
+
+trees and bushes. You can see statuesque
+structures that decorate what normally was just
+
+dirt road with occasional bits of stonework, as
+beautifully laid cobblestone from the interior,
+
+you can see homesteads of different styles of
+construction from all across this continent and
+
+beyond. This is where the money in the city goes.
+This is the district where the elite live, where
+
+the elite work, and where folk of very specific
+visual presentation and purpose are allowed entry.
+
+LIAM: Right, and as she goes and does her thing, I
+just want you to know that Frumpkin does follow
+
+her, and I leave and walk around the block, and
+duck into an alley, or any private place, and cast
+
+Disguise Self on myself to make myself look very
+resplendent.
+
+MATT: Roll a stealth check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: For Frumpkin? It’s not very good. That is
+only a four.
+
+MATT: As Frumpkin begins to (meowing) run on its
+way, and one of the guards goes, “Piss off,” and
+
+kicks Frumpkin about ten feet off, and stumbles
+and skids, and then gets back up.
+
+MARISHA: No! Not okay!
+
+LIAM: Does that take any damage?
+
+MATT: I’d say take one point of damage.
+
+LIAM: Gone.
+
+LAURA: No, you said one point?
+
+LIAM: I rolled hit points for him when I made him,
+and it was one, so he’s gone.
+
+TRAVIS: (explosion)
+
+MARISHA: You kicked his cat into oblivion!
+
+TRAVIS: You kicked his cat until it burst!
+
+MATT: I didn’t.
+
+TRAVIS: He kicked his cat so hard!
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: He kicked the highlights out of
+his hair!
+
+LIAM: Who’s laughing now, Billy? Who’s laughing
+now?
+
+MATT: Stray cats can’t just wander into–
+
+LIAM: Caleb curses to himself and wanders around,
+and does what he says, suddenly looking very
+
+noble. I’ll let that go and then I’ll follow up.
+
+TRAVIS: You guys, I kicked this cat today, and it
+fucking evaporated.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: If that isn’t a beer-worthy story, I
+don’t know what is.
+
+TRAVIS: Somebody punch me. (punching sound)
+
+LIAM: Caleb is pissed.
+
+MATT: The guard looks a bit confused. As you
+wander back, he’s pointing at the tip of his boot,
+
+and he’s like, “I don’t know, it was fucking
+crazy.” So what do you look like?
+
+LIAM: I am wearing the deepest black robes, and I
+have a black goatee. Very Evil David Hasselhoff.
+
+TALIESIN: The Master from Doctor Who.
+
+LIAM: Sure, that.
+
+LAURA: He looks very embroidered and everything.
+
+LIAM: It’s all black velvet. The way the audience
+thinks Vax looks, that’s what I look like right now.
+
+SAM: Kneel before Zod.
+
+LIAM: I have a meeting in 20 minutes at the Pillow
+Inn. I don’t know what it’s called, but Caleb
+
+does. I don’t remember shit, but Caleb says
+whatever the name of it is, because of my feat.
+
+TALIESIN: This is the smartest feat you’ve ever
+taken.
+
+LIAM: Of course it is, it was chosen very
+specifically. I say whatever it’s called–
+
+MATT: The Pillow Trove.
+
+LIAM: I don’t remember, he does. I have a meeting
+in 20 minutes at the Pillow Grove– I know that’s
+
+wrong– Right now, 20 minutes, I need to get in.
+
+MATT: They both blink their eyes at you. As you
+glance down to look at your hand, it’s your
+
+regular sleeve.
+
+LIAM: The spell didn’t work here?
+
+MATT: It worked, but then as you approached, you
+looked down and it’s no longer there.
+
+(gasping)
+
+MARISHA: Oh, magic shit.
+
+MATT: You have a sense now, you think back to the
+air of magical longevity the spell would maintain,
+
+it’s gone.
+
+LIAM: Oh, wow.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: Disguise Self?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, he used Disguise Self.
+
+LAURA: So they dispelled it?
+
+LIAM: We don’t know.
+
+MATT: At some point, as you approached and then
+walked up to the gate, your Disguise Self just
+
+dissipated. The one guard that was there before is
+like–
+
+LIAM: Okay, I just walk away.
+
+MATT: As you walk away, he just goes, “Yeah,
+that’s what I thought.”
+
+LIAM: Cat kicker.
+
+MATT: “Quick meeting, right? Quick fucking
+meeting.”
+
+SAM: Kill that guy.
+
+LAURA: What a dick.
+
+MARISHA: You just made some guard’s night.
+
+TALIESIN: We got to kill that guard.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, he’s gone.
+
+MATT: You are escorted to the exterior of the
+Pillow Trove, which would be over here in the Tri-Spires.
+
+MARISHA: I wonder how much of the Tri-Spires is
+like this?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s got to be locked up–
+
+MARISHA: Right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it’s fancy pants.
+
+MATT: You’re led down the beautiful cobblestone
+street. Around the bend of this beautiful
+
+courtyard where you can see a family that is
+currently sitting down and having an open-air
+
+picnic here amongst the grass. Butterflies in the
+air, it’s picturesque to the point where you
+
+question how engineered it is to a certain degree.
+With a couple of quick spins, you see one that
+
+catches your eye, which is really interesting,
+this massive one of the Tri-Spire towers that’s
+
+closest to the vicinity of The Pillow Trove, looks
+like it was this old temple that’s been completely
+
+hollowed out and re-purposed to look like a glitzy
+casino. There are banners that are pulled across
+
+in brightly-colored silks that mingle and braid
+into each other. You can see on each different
+
+floor there’s a different tone to the stone that’s
+been slightly altered, and you can see signs
+
+showing different forms of entertainment. It’s
+simultaneously historically awe-inspiring and
+
+gaudy combination that is intriguing.
+
+LAURA: Like Caesar’s Palace?
+
+MATT: Kind of, yeah. It’s a little Vegas-y,
+compared to the rest of this area. You can see a
+
+lot of the–
+
+MARISHA: There’s clouds painted on the ceiling for
+no reason.
+
+MATT: At the corners of these roads, you can see
+these tall lanterns that contain a very faintly
+
+ever-burning flame. Between each of them, there’s
+a long, white, silken banner that hangs as part of
+
+decoration along each road. The roads themselves
+feel like they’re always in some loose parade-type
+
+celebration, that’s just part of the decor of the
+vicinity. The stark contrast between the
+
+Outersteads, to even the moderately average
+Innersteads, to the Tri-Spires is astronomical.
+
+LAURA: Can I ask the guard: What is that
+building?
+
+MATT: “Have you not been here before?”
+
+LAURA: No. I’m new to town, actually.
+
+MATT: “Interesting. You’re in the Silken Terrace.
+What you’re looking at right there is called the
+
+Triumph Chime. It’s got all sorts of bars,
+gambling halls, inn rooms, brothel, everything you
+
+need up here.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, wow. I didn’t think you had things like
+this in the Empire.
+
+MATT: “We’ve got them in places. What, you think
+we’re uncivilized folk? Where are you from?”
+
+LAURA: I’m from the Menagerie Coast, actually.
+Nicodranas.
+
+MATT: “Huh. Well, you’ll feel right at home,
+yeah.”
+
+LAURA: Quite.
+
+MATT: “Well, here you are. Pillow Trove.” As he
+motions over to the side, you see this luxurious
+
+inn that has this cylindrical appearance to the
+front and then turns into a blocky building
+
+behind. It has this gold and deep purple
+coloration to the pillars that hold up the various
+
+walls to each intersection, and as soon as you
+walk inside, the scents of scented candles and
+
+various lavender-type smells hit your nose. The
+element of it reminds you of home. As you walk
+
+inside, there’s a beautiful semi-circle desk, and
+a human woman, probably in her mid-20s or so, jet
+
+black hair that’s straight and dangles past her
+shoulders, watches you approach, as the guard
+
+says, “I’ll wait here and escort you out when
+you’re done.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you very much, kind sir! I walk
+grandiosely up to the woman. Hello. I have a
+
+package that’s being delivered to here.
+
+MATT: “Very well. What is the name receiving?”
+
+LAURA: Jester.
+
+MATT: “I shall inquire. I’ll be back here in just
+a moment.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you very much.
+
+MATT: As she leaves from the front desk, you can
+see there are two crownsguard that are assigned to
+
+the sides that are keeping a close watch on you,
+but they’re lackadaisy through their day. You
+
+get the sense they probably don’t have to work too
+hard this side of the city. About five minutes pass.
+
+LAURA: Is anybody watching me?
+
+MATT: They’re both watching you, but not intently
+like hawks, more just making sure you’re not doing
+
+anything silly. You watch as a rather bounding
+obese merchant in his late 40s or so comes
+
+barreling down the stairway, sniffling hard and
+rubbing his nose. He’s dressed really well– maybe
+
+a size too small, trying to reclaim a presentation
+maybe of a younger self and he hasn’t quite come
+
+to terms with the fact that he’s hitting that age.
+As he walks past, he goes, “Ah. Good day.”
+
+LAURA: Good day.
+
+MATT: He exits the building. Another five minutes
+pass, and eventually the woman comes back and she
+
+goes, “I’m sorry, we don’t have a package for that
+name here. Is there any other it might be under?”
+
+LAURA: Maybe under Lavorre?
+
+MATT: “I’ll check.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: She leaves again for another few minutes.
+Comes back after that, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing
+
+under that name.”
+
+LAURA: Anything from The Ruby of the Sea, maybe?
+
+MATT: “I’ll check one more time.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, thank you.
+
+MATT: She leaves.
+
+LAURA: I smile back at the guard, like (pained
+laugh) this is crazy, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: She comes back out. “I’m terribly sorry, we
+do not have a package for or under any of those names.
+
+LAURA: Well, that’s really weird. Okay. Well, tell
+you what, how about, because it’s probably going
+
+to be coming, you know, I’m here really early for
+it, you know– so if it comes for me– when it
+
+does– could you leave word with the guard outside
+the Tri-Spire?
+
+MATT: "Which one?”
+
+LAURA: The guard house, you know.
+
+MATT: “Oh. All right, okay.”
+
+LAURA: Then I can come and ask if it’s been
+delivered and then I can come, because I don’t
+
+want to have to walk all the way here, you know,
+if it’s not here for me yet.
+
+MATT: “Very well. I’ll make a note of it.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. Unless I should maybe stay here,
+waiting for it?
+
+MATT: “If you like, we could set you up with a
+room.”
+
+LAURA: Oh! Yes, how much would that be?
+
+MATT: “Well, depends on the size. We have our
+general suites, we have the lordly suites, and
+
+then we have the diplomatic invitational suites.
+Pricing begins at ten gold per room for the basic
+
+suites, 20 for the next tier up, and for the
+diplomatic ones, those run about 50 gold a night.”
+
+LAURA: Well, I normally stay in the diplomatic
+rooms, but I guess the smallest room because, you
+
+know, I’m small.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Ten gold per night, how long do
+you plan to stay?”
+
+LAURA: Probably just tonight, because it’ll
+probably be here in the morning.
+
+MATT: “All right. That was Jester, right?”
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: “Very well, all right.”
+
+LAURA: Oh yes, here you go, thank you.
+
+MATT: “Thank you, and here is the key to your
+room.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, thank you!
+
+MATT: “Second floor, third door on the left, it
+should be number 12.”
+
+LAURA: 12, that’s my favorite number!
+
+MATT: “So sorry I couldn’t be of help with you.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. I go upstairs.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I sit down.
+
+MATT: You get into your room. The door opens, it’s
+a beautiful small room, but well decorated and a
+
+nice queen-size canopy bed and a dresser with a
+mirror, a chair, a little–
+
+SAM: Mini-fridge.
+
+TALIESIN: Wet bar.
+
+LAURA: Right? Hmm. Traveler? Are you here? Shit.
+Okay. I don’t know where I’m staying tonight,
+
+Traveler, I might be here, I might be with my
+friends, but– Okay, I’ll see you soon, okay! And
+
+I run back out of the room.
+
+MATT: You turn and in the hallway to where you
+entered, you see a familiar cloak of deep green, hooded.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Hi!
+
+MATT: The cloak nods down towards you and the
+voice slowly cascades out from underneath, “I’m so
+
+sorry she’s not aware that you’re here now, but
+you’re with friends.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. Do you think you could help me,
+though?
+
+MATT: “Child, I think I help you quite a bit
+already.”
+
+LAURA: I know. You do.
+
+MATT: “What do you need?”
+
+LAURA: I don’t know how to let her know– I don’t
+know what to do.
+
+MATT: He leans forward and the hand reaches out
+and takes your chin a little bit and holds it
+
+there. There in the dark space of the hood, you
+can see the familiar verdant irises looking back
+
+and the warmth fills you once more, the comfort
+that kept you comfortable so many years alone in
+
+that room. “I think the more deeds you do, the
+more lives you change, the more confident brats
+
+you break– She’ll find you.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. I pull out the pamphlet. Look what I
+made for you!
+
+MATT: The hand pulls back and takes the pamphlet.
+“Hmm. Adorable.”
+
+LAURA: People are going to worship you like
+crazy.
+
+MATT: “You know what to do, then?”
+
+LAURA: Yes! Okay. I missed you.
+
+MATT: “I’m never far.”
+
+LAURA: (high-pitched) All right, I’m going to
+walk, if you want to follow me, I’m going to go
+
+over here then.
+
+MATT: As you look down at the pamphlet and look up
+to say that, he’s gone. You hear this faint little
+
+(chuckles).
+
+LAURA: I skip away.
+
+TRAVIS: Skip away?
+
+LAURA: I go back to the guard. Okay, I have a room
+here. I don’t know if you need to escort me
+
+anymore because I’m staying here at The Pillow
+Trove, but I’m going to go, okay?
+
+MATT: “Um, all right.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “You’re welcome.”
+
+LAURA: Hey, guard, what’s your name?
+
+MATT: “Reeve.”
+
+LAURA: Reeve, it’s so nice to meet you, I’m
+Jester.
+
+MATT: He had his hand out, looks like he’s
+expecting some sort of a tip–
+
+LAURA: And I shake it.
+
+MATT: “Oh, okay.”
+
+LAURA: Hey, so that guy that I hired to guard me,
+I gave him some money. What am I supposed to do,
+
+am I allowed to get him in here so he can actually
+do his job?
+
+MATT: “He’s not an interior guard. Based on his
+markings, it looks like he’s supposed to be at the perimeter.”
+
+LAURA: The guy that was all in his tattered coat
+and stuff?
+
+MATT: “Oh! I misunderstood.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “He’s not coming in.”
+
+LAURA: But I hired him to guard me, though.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, we have to maintain a certain
+kind of presentation here.”
+
+LAURA: All right. Okay.
+
+LIAM: Quickly, could I have asked around and found
+my way to the other entrance to this area by now?
+
+TRAVIS: Or to a Banana Republic, maybe?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: No, I have this. Super quick: a single
+question at the gate.
+
+MATT: Yeah, in this time you could have made your
+way around.
+
+LIAM: Ask around, find my way there. All right, so
+I walk up straight, looking like me.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, may I have a word of your time–
+may I have a moment of your time?
+
+MATT: “Piss off.”
+
+LIAM: Listen to me, there is a store in here
+called Chastity’s Nook that sells dirty books. I
+
+have heard of it for months, and I am going to
+shop at this store, and if you want to make three
+
+gold– and if this one wants to make three gold–
+you will let me in there to shop for smut at the store.
+
+MATT: You watch as his face– His eyes go wide for
+a second and he goes, “You’re a fan of the
+
+Chastity Nook?”
+
+LIAM: I want to be.
+
+MATT: “You hear that?”
+
+LIAM: One, two, three. One, two, three, each of
+you.
+
+MARISHA: The guard’s a critter!
+
+MATT: “No!”
+
+ALL: Aww!
+
+MARISHA: Damn it!
+
+LAURA: You know, for six gold, you could buy
+yourself some real fancy clothes.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, pay
+off a Crownsguard of the city of Zadash to let
+
+you, a lowlife from the skids of the town, in the
+most expensive and most well-guarded region of the
+
+city. I like my job, I like my head.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, enjoy working for the man. I walk
+off.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Anarchy!
+
+TALIESIN: Boom!
+
+LIAM: Done.
+
+MATT: Jester?
+
+LAURA: I guess I go back to Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys meet up on the outside of the
+district.
+
+LIAM: How was it?
+
+LAURA: It was really pretty in there. People are
+kind of stupid, but I did talk to the Traveler, so
+
+everything’s cool. Also, I don’t have any money.
+
+LIAM: That’s okay, I have a little bit of money,
+do you need some?
+
+LAURA: No, I mean I have–
+
+LIAM: I have about 50 gold, do you want me to give
+you some?
+
+LAURA: I mean, that’s about as much as I have now.
+It’s so stupid, though!
+
+LIAM: That’s a lot of money!
+
+LAURA: It’s not, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: It is!
+
+LAURA: It’s not!
+
+LIAM: That’s more money than my parents ever made
+in their entire life.
+
+LAURA: That’s what I made, like, every day for my
+allowance!
+
+LIAM: In full view of Jester, I reach into my
+pocket and take what’s left of the mud and just–
+
+Then I storm off towards our original shitty inn.
+
+LAURA: Caleb! I didn’t mean to make you put your
+shit on your face again.
+
+LIAM: I don’t hear that.
+
+MATT: As you guys jaunt off to catch up with the
+rest of the troop, meeting probably– because you
+
+guys would probably be heading back to The Leaky
+Tap. You manage to gather in the center of the
+
+common area. You see a freshly-muddied Caleb enter
+with a somewhat flustered, but smiling, Jester.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey– oh.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! Hi– oh.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re clean, we’re relaxed, we’re ready
+to go into a sewer.
+
+TRAVIS: Fitting, absolutely fitting.
+
+ASHLEY: How did– didn’t you just–?
+
+SAM: This is his normal look– I think it’s very
+nice, actually.
+
+TALIESIN: I do, too.
+
+ASHLEY: I thought we took a– Hey, I am not a
+person to judge. I know I don’t look– It’s fine.
+
+Where are we going again?
+
+LIAM: I like you. Do you want to hang with us for
+a while?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: Oh, this day is great!
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll take it.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, let’s go kill something, yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to the outer wall of the
+Tri-Spire.
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+MATT: By now, I’d say it’s probably closer to
+three in the afternoon–
+
+LIAM: It’s beast killing time!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it’s beast killing time, yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s time to eat some roast beast.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe a late lunch, carb up, and then
+let’s fucking–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s carb up.
+
+ASHLEY: Pot roast beast?
+
+LAURA: Guess what, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Hm?
+
+LAURA: I got a room at The Pillow Trove.
+
+TALIESIN: Why would you get a room at The Pillow
+Trove?
+
+LAURA: Well, because my package didn’t come, so I
+thought that maybe if I got a room there, then I
+
+can check in in the morning as well, maybe?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s very clever, actually. Well
+done. Are you still expecting your package?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s been not enough time, I don’t
+think.
+
+TALIESIN: Sometimes I expect things to show up and
+then they don’t. It can be very disappointing, but
+
+it’s all right. I’m sure it’ll show up.
+
+LAURA: It’ll show up, of course it will.
+
+TALIESIN: Not that it matters if it doesn’t.
+
+ASHLEY: The trick is to not expect anything in
+life.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t expect you to say that.
+
+LIAM: That’s good advice.
+
+ASHLEY: Then you’ll never be disappointed, you
+know?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very true.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, here’s to abandoning expectations!
+
+TRAVIS: Abandoning expectations!
+
+SAM: Where did we get these drinks?
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: On the way home from the airport!
+
+MATT: Taking a little bit of liquid courage as you
+muster your weaponry and gather your way to the
+
+direction to the entry of the sewer where the
+currently acquired mercenary contract had been taken.
+
+MARISHA: Before we enter, Beau says: Wait, should
+we have done research on what we’re fighting?
+
+SAM: Nah, we’ll be fine.
+
+MARISHA: All right, let’s go!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And that’s where we’ll pick up next week.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha!
+
+ALL: Yasha!
+
+LIAM: Send all of your complaints for not knowing
+what would happen in the porno shop to @matthewmercer.
+
+MATT: Sorry, man!
+
+LAURA: You just got to get some fancy clothes,
+man!
+
+TALIESIN: I was just waiting for the drop to look
+at the shoes and you look back and yep, no, those
+
+shoes don’t get in here.
+
+TRAVIS: We got to figure out how to get rid of the
+Disguise Self blockage, that’s a big– What caused that?
+
+SAM: We can go over the wall, around the wall,
+under the wall–
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, there are sewers.
+
+LIAM: The place is crawling with–
+
+MARISHA: If it’s a vicinity thing–
+
+SAM: We will get you porn, Liam. We will get you
+porn.
+
+TRAVIS: Smut you shall have!
+
+MARISHA: I agree, I think you just need a nice
+coat.
+
+LIAM: Got to get to that shop, man.
+
+MARISHA: A nice coat can get you porn.
+
+MATT: Please continue to try! Not every means to
+an end is the easiest and most straightforward, man.
+
+TALIESIN: When I was young, we would stack three
+up and put on a coat.
+
+MATT: I want this to be an Ocean’s Eleven-style,
+like three episode mini-arc to get into the smut
+
+shop, that’s what I want.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Got reasons.
+
+MATT: Thank you guys so much for watching. Those
+I’ll see in Kentucky, I’ll see you soon. Oh, boy.
+
+MARISHA: Take care of my boy, home-state. Be good
+to him.
+
+MATT: Be back next week, with Ashley.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+MATT: Excited to have you home for a little
+longer.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah! Just a little bit.
+
+MATT: I missed you. There was something else I was
+supposed to talk about.
+
+SAM: Yes, you were supposed to say something about
+giveaways or something.
+
+MATT: No, I already commented on the giveaway.
+What was it?
+
+SAM: What were you supposed to say?
+
+MATT: Where’d Lockey go? He was supposed to remind
+me of something.
+
+MATT: Anyway. I’ll put it on Twitter if I remember
+what it was. Anyway, love you guys, take care of
+
+yourselves, we’ll see you next week, and is it
+Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+LIAM: It still is!
+
+MATT: We had a bathhouse episode!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
+
+sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. First off,
+for those of you that are watching the awesome art
+
+sizzle, we are excited, We finally got the
+opportunity to get our fantastic fan song,
+
+‘Welcome to Wildemount’, by Colm McGuinness, one of
+the Critter community and a very talented musician
+
+who made that piece. We’ve been trying to find
+a way to incorporate it since he put it up, so
+
+we’re excited to have that as a lead-in of hype
+for the week, so thank you so much, Colm, for
+
+being amazing. You should check out his stuff.
+What are you– Are you kidnapping somebody over there?
+
+SAM: Don’t mind me!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Before we get into the game real fast, let’s
+go over some announcements. First off, tonight we
+
+have dual sponsors. First, we have our fantastic
+returning partners in crime for this campaign, D&D Beyond.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: This week, guys, D&D Beyond is offering up
+another discount code for 24– no, I read that
+
+wrong! 25% off any single purchase in the D&D
+Beyond marketplace. Use code “InvisibleWand,” not
+
+case-sensitive, at check-out to receive the discount. I’ve
+done a lot of things to promote D&D Beyond and all of
+
+our sponsors. I’ve done poetry. I’ve done opera.
+I’ve sung songs. But there’s one art form that I
+
+haven’t explored… and that’s dance.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+SAM: So tonight I will be performing, with my
+invisible wand, a ballet that I wrote to honor
+
+D&D Beyond. I may need a camera person.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Ready? Maestro, please hit it.
+
+[Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy plays]
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: (singing, VO) D&D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D,
+D, D, D&D Beyond, D&D Beyond, D, D, D, D, D, D, D,
+
+D, D, D, D, D&D Beyond, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D,
+D&D Beyond, D&D Beyond!
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s something.
+
+MATT: I wasn’t prepared for that.
+
+SAM: Some things just have to be expressed
+with the human body.
+
+MATT: Of course.
+
+LIAM: Every time you open your mouth that wide,
+an entire new universe is born.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Wow. So thank you, D&D Beyond, for
+facilitating that for us and all the good of the internet.
+
+TRAVIS: What would you do every week without
+sponsorships? You would explode.
+
+SAM: I would do this at home.
+
+MATT: He needs an outlet. It’s good. It’s healthy
+for him. Our second sponsor tonight is the
+
+upcoming game– maybe you played the franchise
+before, but we have the Far Cry 5 game, coming up soon.
+
+Liam, if you want to talk about that a little
+further.
+
+LIAM: Oh man, Vax'ildan Vessar here from the
+afterlife. You know, most of the time, I sit here
+
+in a big black room wondering where the fuck I am
+or what’s going to happen next. Probably nothing.
+
+But once in a while, the Raven Queen hands me a
+sheet of paper to help promote projects, and this
+
+week it is Far Cry 5. (clears throat) I got this four minutes
+ago. Far Cry 5 is available on March 27th on PS4,
+
+Xbox One, and PC. Go to farcry.com– we don’t have
+any computers here– to learn more and pick up a
+
+copy. The latest installment of Far Cry is set in
+fictional Hope County, Montana, where a fanatical
+
+doomsday cult known as the Project at Eden’s Gate
+has taken control. You are the hero of the story
+
+in a thrilling world that hits back with every
+punch and where the places you discover and the
+
+locals you ally with will shape your story in ways
+you’ll never see coming. Also, in celebration of
+
+the upcoming release, Nerdist’s Dan Casey, Kyle
+Hill, and Geek & Sundry’s own Erika Ishii are filming a
+
+special Far Cry 5 training video where they took
+on challenges players will face in-game.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s cool!
+
+LIAM: Shooting, car drifting, dog training and
+more. Go to nerdist.com or youtube.com/nerdist to
+
+check it out and tell them Critical Role sent you.
+Send me some comic books because I’m really bored here.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Liam.
+
+TRAVIS: As a player of Far Cry 4, it was amazing. I
+have higher expectations for 5.
+
+LIAM: The story looks dark.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s real good. ATVs, baby! Sorry.
+
+MATT: Thank you. And thank you, Far Cry 5, for
+sponsoring tonight’s game. All right, so, next bit. A
+
+reminder for Twitch Prime. If you guys have Amazon
+Prime, you can easily subscribe to any Twitch
+
+channel that you want to for free, once each month. You
+connect your Twitch and your Amazon accounts
+
+together and you can do it with the click of a
+button, so check it out. If you want to see all the VODs
+
+on this channel or any other channel on Twitch
+that you enjoy, that is a really easy and
+
+inexpensive way of doing so. Last week’s episode
+of Critical Role is available today in podcast
+
+form, so if you have friends who want to listen
+audio-wise, those are available where all fine podcasts
+
+are downloadable. Talks Machina, next Tuesday
+evening, about tonight’s episode, will be at 7:00pm
+
+Pacific, where it always is. For those of you who
+aren’t in the weird backwards world of Daylight
+
+Savings Time, you may have to check what time that
+is, but you probably know that now because
+
+of what tonight’s episode is. Anyway, 7:00pm
+Pacific American. Our fantastic host, Brian W.
+
+Foster, will be talking–
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: He did it! Nothing.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: I literally brainfarted once and it’s like
+I’ve always ruined it.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s been more than once.
+
+TRAVIS: But good friends never let you forget,
+Matt.
+
+MATT: It’s true.
+
+LIAM: That is true. Very true.
+
+MATT: So check it out next Tuesday. WonderCon coming
+up. We have a Talks Machina Critical Role panel on
+
+Sunday, March 25th at 11:30am in the Arena. So if
+you guys are in the vicinity and planning
+
+to attend WonderCon, please come join us for the
+panel. We all shall be ridiculous as usual and I don’t
+
+know if Sam will be up for bringing his box-crotch
+onesie from Gen Con last year.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you can do an interpretive dance
+there as well?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Or turn it into an octagon.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, or a higher faced die. Like an
+eight-sider or a 12-sider.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+SAM: Let’s really push the envelope of dick
+jokes.
+
+LAURA: There is no end to dick jokes.
+
+MATT: This is true. So hopefully we’ll see
+some of you guys there.
+
+C2E2 in Chicago also, which is having a– We
+have panels and signings held April 7th and April
+
+8th. You can get your tickets at C2E2.com and
+we’re excited to see you guys there. I met a bunch
+
+of great “Cwitters”– Critters– Some great “Cwitters”
+this past weekend in Lexington, Kentucky. You guys were
+
+amazing. It was such a great time to interface
+with all of you, for those of you who were able to come.
+
+Thank you so much for being patient. I know it was
+a wait for a lot of you. It was a joy for me and I
+
+hope it was a joy for you. A lot of you were
+saying you were coming to Chicago as well, so I
+
+look forward to seeing you there. Let’s see. Once
+again, 826LA is a fantastic charity that we promote and
+
+push for this. They do great work with
+after-school classes in creative writing for
+
+underprivileged teens and children. If you have
+the opportunity, look into it and see if you can
+
+provide any sort of funds to what they do or go ahead
+and give some time to them. Teach and be part of
+
+that wonderful environment. They’re amazing. I
+highly recommend you check them out if you
+
+haven’t yet.
+
+MARISHA: Taliesin, didn’t you say you ran into a
+Critter who went and started to do D&D?
+
+TALIESIN: I did. He’s starting to do stuff down
+there.
+
+MARISHA: I love that. So thank you.
+
+TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: He was enthusiastic. I’m excited.
+It’s good stuff.
+
+MARISHA: If he can do it, you can too!
+
+MATT: I believe we have some new merch?
+
+(excited noises)
+
+LAURA: And look how cute it looks under
+overalls.
+
+MARISHA: So cute!
+
+LAURA: Those are in the store right now! As well
+as our new CR logo shirt, which nobody is wearing.
+
+SAM: Oh! I need one. I need a large.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll get one for you.
+
+SAM: Should I get one in the store? Are they
+available?
+
+LAURA: At GeekandSundry.com! The shop! There it
+is!
+
+ASHLEY: I love that color!
+
+LIAM: It is executive!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it is. It’s like the sophisticated
+version. Yeah. We have some dice as well as lots
+
+of other merch, so check it out.
+
+ASHLEY: Let’s have cruises soon.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Let’s get our own Sea Org and
+we’ll give out ranks.
+
+MATT: No! Nothing like Sea Org, please!
+
+LIAM: We’re just getting over being sick! No
+cruises!
+
+MATT: Well, anybody have anything else they want
+to say or shall we dive in?
+
+TRAVIS: I like Girl Scout cookies.
+
+MATT: All right. And on that note, let’s go ahead
+and dive into tonight’s episode of Critical Role!
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And wel–
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: I was going to say it, but I thought it was–
+I’m out of practice!
+
+MATT: For those who are unaware, Ashley just full-on
+ripcorded out of halfway-a-phrase and it was
+
+beautiful. It was adorable.
+
+MARISHA: It could have been so many things.
+
+MATT: So–
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll get better at it again. Give me a
+minute.
+
+MATT: It’s all good. So, last we left off, the
+Mighty Nein have been making their rounds in the
+
+city of Zadash, seeking opportunities,
+information, getting their bearings amongst the
+
+various townsfolk, streets, and what goings-on
+there are. Getting updates from town criers
+
+wandering through the roads, speaking with
+individuals, going into bathhouses where you met
+
+up with your fantastic long-lost barbarian. Yasha
+coming in to join alongside you guys in your
+
+exploits. You managed to converse with a meeting,
+or at least Beau and Fjord met with a meeting of
+
+unhappy denizens of the Empire discussing their
+frustrations beneath the Leaky Tap, and had
+
+crossed some information with them. You had gone
+and made some purchases. You had sold off
+
+a few of the things you had acquired in your journeys
+northward along the Amber Road. You had decided
+
+to, looking for work, go to the King’s Hall, where
+they had a task board there and had taken one of
+
+the contracts that had been posted. You would be
+paid to seek the sewers beneath the city, near the
+
+outskirts of the Tri-Spire area of the town, for
+something that had been lurking within those
+
+tunnels below. A couple of guards had not
+returned; one had gone there and fled. You were
+
+promised a sum of money, should you be able to
+exterminate whatever this entity is and bring back
+
+proof of its demise. You jauntily accepted this.
+Before this happened, as a part of a journey
+
+towards this Tri-Spire, both Caleb and Jester made
+their way there, Caleb unsuccessfully entering a
+
+nicer district of the city that did not seem to
+believe or respect his presentation. Jester did
+
+so. She got a room at one of the hoity-toity inns
+in the district and was led to some mild
+
+disappointments. Where we left off, the two of you
+had reconvened and begun making your way back to
+
+meet up with the rest of your friends at the Leaky
+Tap tavern. Probably at a brief distance from each
+
+other as Caleb has huffed off, in a bit of
+frustration. Eventually, Caleb, you make your way
+
+to the familiar outside of the Leaky Tap. You
+enter, the fresh mud now a little bit less fresh
+
+and dried against your face, into the interior. At
+this point, it’s mid-afternoon, there’s maybe
+
+about, let’s say, nine patrons in there, and a
+number of your friends who have been waiting for
+
+the two of you to return that are all sitting around a
+table and discussing amongst themselves. The rest
+
+of you guys look across and watch Caleb enter,
+and then a few moments after, Jester enters as well.
+
+LAURA: Oh, hi.
+
+TRAVIS: How’d you do?
+
+MARISHA: Big money?
+
+LAURA: No. Not so much. Not a lot of money.
+
+TRAVIS: Lots of gifts, then?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MARISHA: Jewels?
+
+LAURA: No. Nothing really. But I saw the Traveler,
+so that’s good news, everyone. He’s still
+
+around, he’s here. He’s probably hanging out
+with us right now.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s in Zadash? Like, staying here?
+
+LAURA: Yes. Well, probably, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Isn’t that hard since he’s not technically
+recognized?
+
+SAM: Should you be talking about him out in the
+open like that?
+
+LAURA: Well, not a lot of people know who he is yet, so
+really, no, I don’t think I’ll get in trouble.
+
+SAM: He’s a new god?
+
+LAURA: Well, I don’t know if he’s new, but he is just
+not well-known, especially here. I’m sure where
+
+he’s from everybody knows him because he’s
+really cool, so I bet a lot of people are like,
+
+“Oh my god, I love you!”
+
+TRAVIS: He plays lots of local clubs. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Yes, basically.
+
+TRAVIS: Up and coming. Enjoying a resurgence.
+
+MARISHA: And you’re sure he’s a god?
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Yeah, he’s really cool. He’s so
+powerful. You guys should really see what he can
+
+do, because it’s amazing.
+
+SAM: Give us a hint.
+
+LAURA: Well, he can do lots of magic, and he can
+appear out of nowhere. That’s cool.
+
+SAM: That is cool!
+
+TRAVIS: Were you with anyone when he showed up?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you think he’d want to meet us? Or
+introduce us, maybe?
+
+LAURA: I can ask him! Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’m really interested in a god that
+kicks it with people.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve never heard of that.
+
+LAURA: Well, Traveler, you heard it yourself! If
+you like everyone here, you can just show up anytime!
+
+TRAVIS: Perception check.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: First one! That’s an 11.
+
+MATT: 11?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You look around the room and nothing seems
+to apparate. The clientele all seem disinterested
+
+with your presence. There’s nothing that would
+belie any arrival of an entity she spoke of.
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering) I don’t think he’s here.
+
+LAURA: Well, it’s possible he’s just invisible right
+now. He does that sometimes.
+
+TRAVIS: That is problematic.
+
+TALIESIN: Incognito.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I mean, it is not totally unheard of. The
+legends in history are full of stories of the gods
+
+dabbling with mortals. I don’t know what happened
+for you today, but– it is not common, but it does happen.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it happens.
+
+TRAVIS: Well.
+
+ASHLEY: He shows up to you as a man? Or how does
+that work?
+
+LAURA: Yeah! You know, he’s just this guy. I don’t
+know exactly what he looks like, because he’s got
+
+this hood.
+
+TRAVIS: A hood?
+
+LAURA: I imagine that he’s really handsome.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I think he’s really cute. He sounds really
+cute. He can probably hear me right now. I’m so
+
+embarrassed!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Hello, guy.
+
+LAURA: Right? Maybe he’ll start talking to you
+too!
+
+MARISHA: Maybe Molly can do a seance and he’ll
+come out!
+
+LAURA: Oh, well he might get– you know what? He
+might think that’s really fun. That could be fun.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t normally speak with the dead on
+a first date, but we’ll think about it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, do you have any kind of
+communication with your–
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I certainly don’t see him in the
+flesh, so no.
+
+SAM: But do you talk to him?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, of course.
+
+MARISHA: Does he talk back?
+
+ASHLEY: Not exactly.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you have to get somewhere really
+quiet, because the first time I heard the Traveler
+
+it was super duper quiet.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a good idea, actually. That’s a
+good idea.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, can I ask you a question?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Do you remember how long it took us to get
+from Port Damali to the border into–
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t think it was more than a few days.
+I don’t recall exactly. Do I recall exactly?
+
+MATT: You do. From Port Damali to the southern
+gates of the Empire and the Wuyun Gorge, on foot–
+
+which you guys were traveling on foot– it took you
+about the better part of two weeks. You passed
+
+through Nicodranas– or you didn’t pass through
+Nicodranas, but you went through along the road and
+
+skirted along the side. You took the road pretty
+much straight there, but it was quite a bit of
+
+travel on foot to get there.
+
+TRAVIS: By a few days, I mean a couple weeks. I
+think that’s more of an appropriate estimation.
+
+LAURA: So wait. If I sent a message from Alfield, then–
+or, wait. Where were we when I sent that message?
+
+SAM: You were in Alfield.
+
+LAURA: Then would it have got to Nicodranas and
+to Zadash by now?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, Jester, that’s got to take a while to get
+there and back.
+
+LIAM: It would take quite a while longer. I think
+it’s too early for you to have checked today.
+
+MARISHA: We were in Alfield because that was also
+when I stole the mail.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Also, sometimes people steal your mail. You
+can get robbed on the road.
+
+MATT: No, I believe it was Trostenwald.
+
+LAURA: No, I just had an itch– you have a little
+dirt on your face, but other than that.
+
+LIAM: Shit happens.
+
+LAURA: So maybe that’s what it is, that’s why.
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. Now, is she supposed to send you
+stuff here?
+
+LAURA: She was going to send it to The Pillow
+Trove.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll have to hang out until it shows up,
+then.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: It seems like it’s harder to get over to the
+Pillow Trove, maybe you could have them forward
+
+your mail to here or something like that.
+
+LAURA: It would be a pretty expensive package, so
+I feel like– maybe I could do that.
+
+SAM: Or if we had some sort of a P.O. box.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know what it is, but I’ll look into
+that. I have a room there tonight, you guys.
+
+MARISHA: Room party!
+
+LAURA: The thing is that apparently it’s not easy
+to get into that district.
+
+LIAM: I was not able to accompany her to the
+Pillow Trove.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Why not?
+
+LIAM: Because I am shabby.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re shabby?
+
+TALIESIN: That is fair, you are shabby.
+
+LIAM: Shabbily dressed.
+
+LAURA: Shabby chic.
+
+SAM: We need to get you some nicer clothes, then.
+
+LIAM: You know, I was thinking on the walk back
+here that I would probably like to get a cloak of
+
+some kind.
+
+MARISHA: You could also get a new jacket and new
+pants.
+
+LIAM: I know where everything is in every pocket
+of this coat. It has been with me through a lot. What?
+
+LAURA: Maybe we can go somewhere and they will
+make a coat exactly like that coat with all the
+
+same pockets, only it won’t have the holes in it.
+
+MARISHA: How long could it take you to memorize
+pockets on a coat? That’s like 20 minutes.
+
+LIAM: I will probably just get a cloak.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s probably good too.
+
+ASHLEY: Should we get you a rag as well? Just to
+have on hand like a hanky. So you don’t have to do
+
+a full bath, you could just do a quick–
+
+LIAM: I’m not bothered. It seems like maybe–
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: I’m not bothered.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m definitely not bothered.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha makes a good point, though. Just in
+case a simple wipe-down was enough to gain you entry.
+
+LIAM: You know, water is not very hard to come by,
+so I can–
+
+LAURA: Or we just keep going to visit that guy who
+made you clean. Every day we could go see him, and
+
+then he makes us all clean!
+
+MARISHA: You could really just get a new coat.
+
+TALIESIN: Does feel like a terrible abuse of
+hospitality.
+
+LAURA: What, to use his power like that? I want to
+ask The Traveler if he knows how to do that,
+
+because I wonder if he could make me do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Is the Traveler the only god you’ve ever
+seen, or have you seen other gods, out of curiosity?
+
+LAURA: No, I’ve only seen that guy.
+
+TALIESIN: So this is the one that decided to make
+itself presentable to you?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: She does see hamster unicorns. Are they
+gods?
+
+LAURA: No, they’re just unicorns.
+
+SAM: We’ve been sitting drinking, right?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been drinking.
+
+SAM: We’ve been plotting our next moves.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got to tackle this job at some
+point.
+
+LAURA: We’ve got to get to that sewer, you guys!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s a sewer nexus with a beast with
+webs.
+
+MARISHA: So we’re not having this room party?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re having the room party after the
+sewers.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, because we’ll have bank and
+then we can get room service and shit.
+
+LAURA: But we’ll have to get clean or else we
+won’t get in there.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to defile a very expensive
+shower.
+
+LIAM: That’s what I’m saying, is the sewer first
+because you are all going to be dirty like me.
+
+TALIESIN: And somebody else’s hotel room will get
+us clean.
+
+ASHLEY: If you’re renting a room there, maybe they
+have to let us in.
+
+MARISHA: You also have to get in in order to rent
+the room.
+
+LAURA: I think they only have to let me in,
+technically.
+
+TRAVIS: Did they give you a hall pass or
+something?
+
+LAURA: I have this key. It says Pillow Trove on
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it just a key or is there a thing that
+dangles from it, something we could mimic and make
+
+more of?
+
+MATT: It’s a very intricate key. It feels like a
+dense iron, but it’s been gold leafed, or coated
+
+in some sort of reflective gold-like metal. It’s
+very well made. It has little scrawlings on it,
+
+almost like a spiral in the center. The key
+itself–
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, can I see it real fast?
+
+MATT: –is probably worth a silver in its own
+right.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, Beau has it right now.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Thank you. I take a real good look at
+it in case I want to fucking Minor Illusion that
+
+shit later.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know.
+
+LIAM: Also, I don’t think that’s the main issue.
+They’re very strict at the gate for who gets in,
+
+and some of us might not have a problem, but more
+than one of us might.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, why are you so hung up on just
+changing clothes for, like, ten minutes, just to
+
+get through the door?
+
+LIAM: It seems more like you are hung up on it
+than I am.
+
+TALIESIN: Let a man be eccentric.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, you want in, dress for
+what you want.
+
+LIAM: That’s why I want to pay for a cloak.
+
+SAM: This is your jam?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m a real fan of this one.
+
+TRAVIS: It gets real turnt up when this here
+starts playing.
+
+MATT: You turn back at the three-piece half-elven
+band that are moseying their way through the
+
+afternoon lazily. They’re whispering and chatting
+amongst each other and ribbing each other with
+
+their elbows between things, half-paying attention
+to the music, but it’s nice enough to keep atmosphere.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m tossing a silver over, just for
+that.
+
+TRAVIS: A silver?!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking start small, man.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t tell me how to spend my money.
+
+MATT: As the coin clinks and rolls about two feet
+off, the gentleman standing with this double set
+
+of drums that lays over a leather strap on him–
+you can see he’s got the shaved sides of his
+
+head, this young half-elven boy– immediately sees
+that, stops drumming, grabs the coin, gives you a
+
+nod, and goes right back into the song. You watch
+as the other performers all of a sudden
+
+immediately look to you and they’re all like–
+
+TRAVIS: Now the beat’s all off.
+
+TALIESIN: What you’re hearing is the happiness of
+a performer.
+
+LIAM: Are we going to–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So he’s Steve Martin in The Jerk, yeah.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Fuck you, Birdman.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Two things; one, Fjord, will you pass me
+these cookies over here?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Thank you. Second of all, are we going to
+try to tackle this sewer this evening, or is this
+
+something that we’re going to do tomorrow?
+
+SAM: What time is it?
+
+MATT: Later afternoon.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve been looking at some of the folks
+around here. I think they’re over-exaggerating the
+
+importance of this beast.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think we should at least go down
+there and take a look.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I’m not opposed to going down there, I
+just mean are we waiting until cover of night or
+
+are we doing this–
+
+TRAVIS: Nah. I don’t think so. I’m not a super fan
+of the sewer during the day. I figure I’ll like it
+
+even less at night.
+
+MARISHA: Well, why don’t we at least go and talk
+to that guard that came back? Try and track him
+
+down, maybe get a little bit of insight.
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh, yeah. Do we know where that guy is?
+
+MARISHA: Do we know where that guy is?
+
+MATT: Which guy?
+
+TRAVIS: The guy that came running back.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, or was there a guy that came back?
+
+TRAVIS: That Voloshin said that one of them ran
+back from the task.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you don’t know anything. You can go
+back and try and ask for information on that, but
+
+you haven’t met him or know anything.
+
+TALIESIN: I know one thing that’s a photosensitive
+thing. If we need to make a fast escape I’d rather
+
+have some light maybe, if it’s something like
+that.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Daytime’s better for that. Different
+environment.
+
+TRAVIS: Good thinking.
+
+LAURA: So is it better to go now or tomorrow
+morning?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Now.
+
+TRAVIS: How long does it take to get over to the
+Tri-Spire area, find us a manhole?
+
+MATT: From where you are now, it’d take you maybe
+the better part of 45 minutes, better part of an hour.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it early afternoon or late afternoon?
+
+LAURA: Late afternoon, you said?
+
+MATT: It’s late afternoon. You’re probably about
+an hour and a half, two hours from sundown.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll be fine.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we do it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, why not?
+
+MARISHA: I mean, it will be dark after that.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m buzzed, and if I have another drink
+I’m going to be more than buzzed.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, let’s drink and fight. That’s a
+good idea.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re definitely going now.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m right where I want to be. I want a
+45-minute walk to get there.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, let’s do it. You’ll walk your buzz
+off.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s maybe stock up on some torches on
+the way there. Nah, we don’t need torches, do we?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: Not anymore.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Not with your nerd goggles.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Do keep in mind, and this is my fault too
+for not keeping track of it, but even with
+
+darkvision, you’re still seeing pretty low light.
+Long-distance perception checks without light,
+
+you’re still at disadvantage on them. I’ve been
+bad about keeping track of that.
+
+LIAM: You’ve been bad.
+
+TALIESIN: We have a light spell, though, don’t
+we?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s also dim light though as well.
+It’s not super bright. Unless I–
+
+TALIESIN: I must have a torch or something.
+
+MARISHA: I have one in my adventurer’s kit.
+
+LAURA: You have an adventurer’s kit?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I have a tinder box.
+
+MATT: So you can turn things into torches.
+
+TALIESIN: I have a hooded lantern.
+
+ASHLEY: I have a tinder box too. I have a torch!
+
+MATT: (laughs) Everyone looks at their equipment
+suddenly!
+
+LIAM: This game is amazing!
+
+TALIESIN: I have all this stuff in this bag I
+never opened.
+
+MATT: Well, all righty. What’s the plan?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I have an axe now!
+
+MATT: You do. You have a handaxe.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve got a handaxe.
+
+LAURA: Yay!
+
+TALIESIN: Have you equipped it?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, look at that. Oh, wow.
+
+TRAVIS: How about we casually make our way over,
+and as we’re doing that we can keep an eye out for
+
+kingsguard and see if they know of this guy?
+
+MARISHA: Copy.
+
+MATT: Are you guys making your way towards that
+direction?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I would like to keep my eye out for a decent
+clothing shop.
+
+MATT: Okay, fair enough. Make an investigation
+check for you as you guys travel and traverse the city.
+
+LIAM: That is 11.
+
+MATT: Yeah, along the way and keeping an eye out,
+asking a couple questions here and there, you
+
+eventually find a very basic clothingwears
+company. Nothing fancy, but just utility. Pants,
+
+worker’s shirts, gloves, and cloaks are available.
+So if you want to buy a cloak, you can do that.
+
+LIAM: I would like to get something that is brown,
+muted, nothing gaudy. Probably don’t have that anyway.
+
+MATT: Not in this one, no. Your choices are pretty
+much brown, black, and gray, so you’re good.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take the brown one. Yeah.
+
+MATT: You’re good on that one. I do not recall if
+they had any pricing put down for cloaks.
+
+LIAM: It’s 50 gold.
+
+MATT: 600 gold pieces, please. Eh, it falls under what
+would be general common clothes, so I’ll put the
+
+cloak cost at two silver.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I have that.
+
+TALIESIN: A poor man could buy half a cloak. Half
+a cloak between them.
+
+TRAVIS: One of those shitty dueling shawls that
+they throw off?
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+TALIESIN: I love it.
+
+SAM: Actually, what season is it? Are we north? Is
+it going to get cold?
+
+LAURA: It’s cold.
+
+MATT: The further north you go, yeah. This
+particular area is pretty chilly, especially since
+
+you’re getting towards the end of fall. It’s
+almost Harvest Close in two weeks. You guys are
+
+hitting winter in the very near future.
+You would know this, too, that snowfall is fairly
+
+common throughout the winter here.
+
+SAM: Can you pick me up earmuffs?
+
+LIAM: Of course I can do that. I ask for the
+largest size they have and I get a woolen cap as well.
+
+MATT: For both of those together? One silver piece.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. I have that.
+
+ASHLEY: Are you going to take your ears and roll
+them?
+
+SAM: That sounds amazing. I will do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Warren T. Rat in American Tail.
+
+MARISHA: Two sponge rollers.
+
+MATT: Perfect. Following that, the task board
+contract that you recovered and was assigned to
+
+you by the Herald of the Hall contains both the
+Writ of Lawmaster Intent, which is what will give
+
+you approval to travel into the sewer without
+being harried by the Crownsguard, and also gives
+
+you the location of the sewer that leads you
+there. Following the basic instructions and asking
+
+around, you eventually find yourselves at the
+corner of Ruen Road and Dewmist.
+
+LIAM: Ruin?
+
+MATT: Yeah. R-U-E-N. As you approach this
+intersection, largely still cobblestone, a few
+
+that are missing and the dust has sift
+pockets to make it soft. The sky is still light,
+
+but you can see the sun just beginning to crest past
+the near walls, and familiar to the two of you, you
+
+guys are maybe two blocks away from the outer wall of
+the Tri-Spires.
+
+LAURA: Hey guys, we’re about two blocks away from the
+outer wall. We’re super close.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: At the intersection, there are two
+crownsguard that are stationed there that are
+
+keeping eyes and watching around. Off to the
+eastern side of that intersection, behind one of the
+
+poles that contain the lanterns that are lit at
+night, you can see the cover that leads into the
+
+sewer below. It’s less of a sewer or manhole
+cover, but there’s an open drain, and a latch and a
+
+small metal pole that prevents anyone from going
+into it.
+
+LIAM: Are there any clowns in it?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: That is a– why I’m looking it up– a ten.
+
+MATT: “You don’t see anything dangerous,
+Georgie.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus. Please no.
+
+MATT: As you begin to spend time staring through
+the grate and start deciding how to get into
+
+there, one of the Crownsguard stationed walks up
+and approaches quickly and goes, “Excuse me, can I
+
+“ask you what you’re doing here?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, good! They came to us.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, this is your opportunity to shine.
+Get ‘em.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: Explain what we’re doing.
+
+MARISHA: All right, here’s what we’re doing. We
+got this whole writ thing from the Lawmaster. We’re
+
+going to go down, kill the monster that’s been
+tormenting you guys. Heard you lost a few guards.
+
+Heard any rumors? Do you know anything, before we
+go down there and maybe die?
+
+MATT: “I’ve heard a few things. It’s a–”
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: “Apparently there’s something down there
+that’s been real scary and–”
+
+MARISHA: Come on, man.
+
+MATT: “I’m not fucking going down there. You
+kidding me?”
+
+MARISHA: I’m not– why–
+
+MATT: “I only know what I’ve heard!”
+
+MARISHA: Did I ever ask you to come with us? I
+just asked for rumors, man.
+
+MATT: “No, I can open the grate.”
+
+MARISHA: Don’t put words in my mouth!
+
+MATT: “I wasn’t meaning to put words in–”
+
+MARISHA: Open the– What did you hear?
+
+MATT: He scratches his head over his helmet and
+doesn’t realize he’s not getting to the itch.
+
+MARISHA: Stop with the nervous tics. Stop.
+
+MATT: “All I know is that apparently they lost a
+couple of guys down there and–”
+
+MARISHA: I know that.
+
+MATT: “One of them was pissing himself and ran.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s still not information on the
+monster.
+
+MATT: “Well, be my guest.” He pulls a key off of a
+ring and goes down to the latch on the metal bar
+
+that blocks off the entry and pulls it open.
+
+LAURA: What guard was it that ran away?
+
+MATT: “I don’t fucking know! There’s a lot of
+them around here!”
+
+ASHLEY: Do you know how they were killed? Did
+anybody see any wounds?
+
+MATT: “They never recovered the body.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+ASHLEY: They never recovered the body.
+
+LAURA: They’re probably eaten completely by now.
+
+MATT: “Well, you’re welcome to go down there and
+continue.”
+
+SAM: Are all the sewer grates blocked with a
+lock?
+
+MATT: “Yes, to prevent folks from wandering into
+them.”
+
+LAURA: Oh no, but how will we get out?
+
+MATT: “Well, I’m stationed here for the next
+several hours, so as long as you return–”
+
+SAM: To this one?
+
+MATT: “To this one. You’ll be fine.”
+
+LAURA: What if we get trapped at another one and
+then we can’t get out?
+
+MATT: “Well, start shouting. Keep that writ on hand
+and if there’s any crownsguard that hear you,
+
+"they’ll probably be able to let you out.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Seems reasonable enough.
+
+MARISHA: Is there a way to navigate the sewer
+systems? Any markings we should look out for?
+
+MATT: “I’m going to be honest, I haven’t been down
+there. It smells real bad.”
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know if the sewers flooded any time
+during the day? Any sort of unexpected water flows?
+
+MATT: “I don’t think so. We haven’t had any heavy
+rainfall. I haven’t been able to hear more than a
+
+"trickle down there for a number of weeks.”
+
+MARISHA: Nothing about what kind of monster it is?
+No darkness? Tentacles? Big teeth?
+
+LIAM: Any sounds going on in there?
+
+MATT: “Nothing I’ve heard, no.”
+
+TRAVIS: When people ask you who were those brave souls
+that ventured into sewer, you tell them The Mighty Nein.
+
+SAM and LAURA: (whistle and intone theme of The
+Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)
+
+MATT: “I understand. There’s seven of you.”
+
+SAM: Count again.
+
+LAURA: I move to the other side of Nott.
+
+LIAM: You have to think about it for a while.
+
+MATT: He looks genuinely overwhelmed by all the
+information and goes, “Good luck, and yell if you
+
+"need something.” (throat clearing) He pulls the
+rest of the bar open and you guys have this space,
+
+about a foot and a half.
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s first?
+
+ASHLEY: I go.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Get in there, tank!
+
+MATT: Yasha, as you climb down, immediately it drops,
+and your foot finds a rung. There’s a metallic bar that
+
+acts as a ladder. As you begin to lower yourself
+down, you can look to your left and right, and
+
+what little bit of daylight is coming through
+helps fill out some of the interior. You can
+
+see what looks to be maybe 15 or so feet across, from
+side to side, 15 to 20 feet from this wall to the other,
+
+slick stones, a slight curvature that leads
+into a base where there is a small ditch or a
+
+basin where old liquid is trickling through. There
+is a mild decline heading away from the direction
+
+you are and a mild incline heading in the
+direction of the Tri-Spires. The smell is not
+
+pleasant, but you’re a tough chick, it’s never
+been an issue. So you get yourself down, and it’s
+
+no more than ten feet to climb to the base of this
+at the moment. You see from this spot where you’ve
+
+climbed down, the ceiling drops low to about
+ten or so feet. You’re probably about 15 or 20
+
+feet below the surface now.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take out my torch. I’ll light my
+torch once I get down there.
+
+MATT: Your torch lights and the bright space
+begins to open up from side to side.
+
+LAURA: (yells) Do you see any monsters down
+there?
+
+ASHLEY: I look around. (yells back) Everything
+looks good!
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Spoke too soon.
+
+ASHLEY: I forgot how to play D&D! Everything looks
+good! (screams) Uh-oh!
+
+LIAM: The boulder from Raiders.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Eight! Like I said, everything looks good!
+
+LIAM: Do you want Nott down there? It’s what you
+do. You’re very good.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, come on down, Nott.
+
+SAM: Before I go, can I borrow that ring of water
+walking?
+
+LAURA: Oh, sure. Wait, which one was it?
+
+SAM: Not that one, that one, or that one. I know
+what those are.
+
+LAURA: What about this one?
+
+SAM: Yeah. That’s it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I don’t know if you have to attune to it, but
+I’m going.
+
+LAURA: You don’t.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you don’t have to.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll go down there with Yasha.
+
+MATT. You climb down and join Yasha there. You can
+see the slight decline behind you as it progresses
+
+away from the direction of where this current seems to
+have happened. Once again, the smell is stagnant,
+
+a combination of waste product and whatever else
+has rotted and congealed down there. That smell of
+
+bacteria-filled liquid and water. Continuing
+upward, it curves a little bit to the right and
+
+out of sight with a faint bit of torchlight that
+bounces off the slick wall. There is a weird humid
+
+warmness to the air down here. It’s not extremely
+pleasant. You don’t see anything else in here other than
+
+what look to be clusters of waste combined with
+sticks and whatever else has washed down here
+
+through previous storms and has begun to build up
+blockages here and there, maybe a foot, two feet across.
+
+SAM: Are we going to keep going? Or should we get
+the–
+
+ASHLEY: We can wait until everybody gets down.
+
+LAURA: Can we come down?
+
+SAM: It’s fine! Just come down.
+
+TALIESIN: Coming down.
+
+ASHLEY: I keep looking. Keeping watch. Listening.
+
+MATT: You all eventually down into the sewer
+grate and then you hear the (metal scraping) (click) and
+
+the metal bar up top is closed.
+
+LAURA: He locked us in!
+
+TRAVIS: No, he just closed it, Jester.
+
+SAM: It’s a trap, we’re all going to die.
+
+ASHLEY: We won’t die.
+
+TRAVIS: What do we think? Go up or down? Up,
+right?
+
+LAURA: I think a monster would be down.
+
+SAM: Monsters are down.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a look around to see if there
+are any types of street marking for the sewers?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: I put the glove of blasting on my left
+hand.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 18. 22, I believe. 22.
+
+MATT: Looking at right near the base of where the
+rungs are, it looks like there are arrows that point each
+
+direction. The arrow to the right, which leads
+upward, splits into three additional arrows.
+
+MARISHA: So one, two, three type of a thing. What
+about the arrow to the left?
+
+MATT: It’s just a continuous arrow.
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck did you just draw?
+
+MARISHA: This arrow splits into three arrows and
+then– and it’s a penis.
+
+TRAVIS: If you ever make a road sign, people are
+fucked. That is–
+
+LIAM: That’s a Nintendo controller.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. That’s some old fucking Street
+Fighter combo shit.
+
+TALIESIN: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left,
+right.
+
+MARISHA: Right, yeah. Also, there’s got to be an A
+and B around here. All right, I guess there are
+
+more options this way or down deeper.
+
+TALIESIN: South.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, it is a sewer system.
+
+TRAVIS: You really want to go south? You two?
+
+TALIESIN: Always down.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I feel like if you were a monster,
+you would go–
+
+LIAM: Go further away from people.
+
+TRAVIS: I like that logic.
+
+MARISHA: Or it could just be the main drainage out
+of the city.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+TRAVIS: Bobby Tarantino territory. Let’s do it. Let’s go
+south.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LAURA: I feel like we’re walking in a stinky
+crotch. Why?!
+
+TRAVIS: Asshole.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: The Traveler!
+
+LIAM and ASHLEY: No!
+
+LIAM: Everything’s going to be fine, Jester.
+
+MATT: Shh. Don’t spoil it! You guys begin to head
+southward. It’s a very faint decline. You can
+
+only tell it’s a decline in the sense that if you
+look right or left you can see the water is
+
+trickling in the direction you’re traveling. The
+tunnel continues for about 100 feet or so before it
+
+curves slightly to the right and then comes to another
+set of rungs and another sewer-top access.
+
+LIAM: Were we told that there was some sort of
+webbing?
+
+MATT: Yes, that was the only notable element of
+what you were looking for.
+
+LIAM: I see. Any of that as we go?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+MARISHA: I wrote down blockage, webbing, and
+nest.
+
+LIAM: 19.
+
+MATT: No sense of webbing, no.
+
+LAURA: Do we see any rats down here?
+
+MATT: At the moment, you don’t see anything moving,
+no.
+
+ASHLEY: Any tracks of any sort?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check if you want to.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+MATT: You get down and look about, and you don’t
+see any tracks by any means, but you notice that
+
+near where the water is– and it’s a faint trickle
+of water. The stream is about that wide, and you
+
+barely hear it moving past. You see elements of
+sludge that has slowly congealed over time along
+
+the edges of this groove that guides the liquid,
+and you can see bits are pushed like something had
+
+moved through in the direction of where you were,
+but that’s it.
+
+LAURA: In the direction of where we came from?
+
+MATT: Angled like something slid and pushed
+through the water in the direction you came from.
+
+MARISHA: How big are those slide marks, Yasha?
+
+MATT: About four inches.
+
+MARISHA: Four inches?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You see one or two that slide out.
+
+LAURA: Does that mean we’re going the wrong way or
+the right way?
+
+SAM: I’m going to get down and take a little bit
+of the smear and–
+
+LAURA: Ew!
+
+SAM: Do I taste anything?
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+SAM: 19. Plus five! No, plus three.
+
+MATT: It’s a combination of things. Your
+alchemical history and heightened goblin senses
+
+for waste product. There’s hints of excrement.
+
+LIAM: Know how much diarrhea blasting they did in
+the Middle Ages?
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: No! No! No!
+
+No. All right. Um–
+
+SAM: It’s old diarrhea.
+
+MATT: Stop it, Sam! Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: This is your fault.
+
+MARISHA: There are people eating
+at home right now.
+
+MATT: There’s a hint of an iron aftertaste,
+something oxidizing somewhere in the water, or the
+
+water itself. A faint hint of sulphur from the
+water and things breaking down in the water.
+
+Nothing that catches your immediate attention
+except for – Oh my God, she’s no longer
+
+roleplaying!
+
+LAURA: Oh my God! I didn’t even put it together.
+
+LIAM: That’s all that’s in the haversack.
+
+LAURA: I just want this.
+
+MATT: Because you rolled so high, that faint iron
+aftertaste is familiar.
+
+SAM: Familiar?
+
+LAURA: Is it blood?
+
+MATT: It reminds you of when you’ve licked a wound
+or bit your lip. It’s very faint. Because you
+
+rolled that high, you’re like, hmm.
+
+SAM: This is bloody stool.
+
+(groaning)
+
+TALIESIN: How would you know that?
+
+SAM: I know this taste. I know it well.
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody is going to ask you why you know
+that. Just so we’re clear, you don’t need to
+
+explain anymore.
+
+SAM: It’s sort of like Pringles, where you just
+can’t have one.
+
+LAURA: I might throw up.
+
+MATT: So what are you guys doing?
+
+SAM: So something’s been killed and dragged that
+way.
+
+TRAVIS: I think maybe we should head back in the
+opposite direction.
+
+ASHLEY: In the area where we’re at, the only exit
+now goes up another rung to the outside?
+
+MATT: Correct. Or continues on the direction you
+were traveling. Looking at that set of rungs, you
+
+can see the arrows that are still marked there.
+There’s a singular arrow that goes in the
+
+direction where you came from, and the other arrow
+splits into two. You get the sense that each of
+
+these indicates where the next, if you continue
+that way, if it’s going to divide or be straight.
+
+Part of this network of sewers that have been
+built below Zadash long ago.
+
+TRAVIS: Since you’re tasting hemorrhoids in the
+water, it’s probably coming from that direction.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you’re right.
+
+MARISHA: The water seems to be moving towards the
+direction we’re going?
+
+MATT: You were heading down, and the water’s
+trickling in that direction.
+
+MARISHA: Go back the other way.
+
+LAURA: We turn around.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it.
+
+MATT: You guys continue back to where you were and
+traverse instead upwards. You guys had paid a
+
+little bit of attention when you were traveling
+towards the Tri-Spire, but the entire city is not
+
+level. There are grades to it. It was built over
+hilly terrain, as most of this valley itself has
+
+all sorts of varying heights of hills and clusters
+of hills. The Tri-Spire is up on a raised hill
+
+within the city’s construct, so as you ascend in
+the direction of the Tri-Spire, you get the sense
+
+that you’re not ascending too terribly much, but
+you’re now just about underneath where the wall
+
+was. As it curves around a bit, you look ahead as
+Yasha’s holding out her torch, and you can see a
+
+T-intersection of the sewer where it continues on
+straight, or heads to the right, or to the left.
+
+LAURA: You should probably lick the ground
+everywhere and see if you taste that blood
+
+anymore.
+
+MATT: You also see more of those clusters of
+built-up refuse that have created small masses in
+
+the ground where the water is pooling and making
+its way around.
+
+LIAM: Blockages.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: The curved surface of this area, can we
+see the ceiling clearly or is it way above us?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah. And while the floor itself–
+the walls gradually come in and become a bit of a
+
+level platform and then descend into the ditch
+where the water is traversing, the ceiling is a
+
+continued curvature of it. It’s almost like a
+tube.
+
+LAURA: Any webbing?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: I’m going to look for footprints.
+
+MATT: You make an investigation check.
+
+LAURA: Perception?
+
+SAM: That’s a one.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: You see a very faint, barely shifting piece
+of thin silk cheese cloth-like material that is
+
+barely visible on the cusp of the torchlight on
+the right-hand side of that intersection.
+
+LAURA: Guys, guys, look, look! Bring the torch
+over!
+
+TRAVIS: Dust?
+
+LAURA: It’s a webbing!
+
+MATT: As we continue from this point, guys, I want
+to know what your marching order is as you’re
+
+traversing forward.
+
+LIAM: Hey, I’m at the back.
+
+MATT: Right. We have Caleb at the back.
+
+LAURA: Maybe that would be bad, though. Maybe you
+should be in the middle. Have you ever been at a
+
+haunted house? They come at you from behind!
+
+MARISHA: That’s true, the middle is the safest.
+I’ll take the front with Yasha, I’m assuming.
+
+SAM: I’ll be right behind them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll be with you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Swords in the middle.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re in the middle with them?
+
+SAM: Middle-rear.
+
+MATT: Jester, where are you?
+
+LAURA: I guess I’ll be right behind Molly.
+
+MATT: There we go. So you go up and inspect the
+web?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: You guys head up with the torch. You come
+into the intersection. The water is coming down
+
+from the path in front of you, directly across.
+The left-hand tunnel continues for about 40 or 50
+
+feet before it curves off and goes upward again,
+almost a parallel path. There’s water trickling
+
+down there that’s all meeting here. To the right,
+where this webbing is, there is no water. It is a
+
+dry ditch.
+
+LAURA: I bet that’s where we need to go. It’s
+blocked.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I touch a little bit of the webbing
+with the flame?
+
+MATT: Sure. You bring the torch to the webbing and
+watch as it burns away in a few seconds and turns
+
+to ash and dust. There’s also a very faint
+scratching sound.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m activating one. I’m pulling a hand
+down one of my swords and I’m getting it to light up.
+
+MATT: You activate one of them. As it lights up,
+you bring the torch around to look.
+
+MARISHA: Putting my goggles on.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to go ahead and cast Armor of
+Agathys, get on the spectral frost armor.
+
+MATT: As the armor filters up onto you, the weird,
+warm, humid air of the sewer interior seems to
+
+crystallize against your armor. The ice that
+normally gives a translucent bluish-white color
+
+has a strangely yellow-green tint to it.
+
+MARISHA: Poop-mist!
+
+TRAVIS: It’s the snowcone variety.
+
+SAM: As I see everybody doing this, I’m going to
+take a big swig of liquor.
+
+MATT: Okay. You take a quick swig. You guys look
+out in the distant tunnels and you see nothing.
+
+TRAVIS: Scratching sound’s a rat and we’re all
+like (whimper).
+
+MARISHA: (squeaking)
+
+MATT: It’s funny. As you glance down at the
+ground, though, one of those small clusters of
+
+refuse shifts a little bit. And shifts again.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) What is it?
+
+MARISHA: I take a ball bearing–
+
+LAURA: Poke it with your stick!
+
+MATT: I say little. It’s a few feet across.
+They’ve gotten larger as you’ve progressed on.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take a ball bearing and ping
+it.
+
+LAURA: How close is it to us?
+
+MATT: There’s a bunch up in the hall around you
+right now. As you throw the ball bearing and it
+
+hits, some of it breaks away, and you see horrible
+matted fur. There’s a flash in the torchlight
+
+where you see two eyes reflect through, and you
+hear this sound (shriek). You watch as fangs open
+
+up, and a bunch of the other clusters of gathered
+refuse all suddenly begin to shift and skitter in
+
+your direction. I need you all to roll
+initiative.
+
+ALL: (exclaiming)
+
+LAURA: We’re fighting poop-rats!
+
+MARISHA: It’s a hairball.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+LAURA: That’s what happens when I roll
+one that I haven’t been charging up.
+
+SAM: Yep, yep. It’s definitely because of that.
+
+Look at this sewer! Is that real wet?
+
+LAURA: It just looks wet.
+
+MARISHA: It’s like resin.
+
+MATT: We had you guys up here.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s actual shit.
+
+LAURA: Matt is very committed.
+
+MARISHA: It’s reality seeping into our game a
+little bit.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! See, Caleb, look, you should’ve been
+in the middle of us!
+
+MATT: All of these sewer-faring giant rats begin
+to rush towards you. Their fur seems to have, over
+
+time, merged with other bits of discarded debris
+and matter, causing this outer shell of broken
+
+garbage, trash, and excrement that protects them
+and gives this look of a horrible, half-burned
+
+pile of compost with teeth and fur rushing in your
+direction. On that note.
+
+ASHLEY: I love that we’re fighting rats right
+now.
+
+MARISHA: I know! It’s so Baldur’s Gate. I love
+it.
+
+LAURA: (chanting) Level three!
+
+MATT: For initiative here, guys, let’s start with
+25 to 20. Anyone?
+
+LAURA: Oh shit, really?
+
+MATT: Oh damn.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+TRAVIS: 20 as well. Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You rolled a natural 20? What’s your
+initiative?
+
+TRAVIS: Zero.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right. We have Nott and Fjord. 20
+to 15?
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a limited fucking warlock.
+
+MARISHA: (chanting) Level three!
+
+MATT: 15 to 10.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: 10 to five.
+
+LAURA: Eight.
+
+TALIESIN: Six.
+
+ASHLEY: No, I know. I’m one to talk.
+
+LAURA: No, mine was nine!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Nine!
+
+MATT: Molly, what was yours?
+
+TALIESIN: Six.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LIAM: Vier.
+
+LAURA: It might’ve been eight. Let’s just make it
+eight because I can’t remember if I rolled a five
+
+or a six.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. It doesn’t matter in the order.
+At the top, all of them start rushing in, their
+
+eyes glaring as they shift past the torch that
+Yasha’s holding. There’s probably six, maybe seven
+
+in the vicinity at a quick glance around you, and
+they’re all rushing in your direction. Nott and
+
+Fjord, you guys are up first.
+
+TRAVIS: I turn to see where all of them are in
+relation to the party. Are there any sons of
+
+bitches over here that I can’t see?
+
+MATT: At the moment, you don’t see any.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great. I turn around and I see Caleb
+being flanked by two of them, and I know he is
+
+super squishy. Can I run towards this rat?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I reach back with my hand and–
+
+MATT: That rat there gets an attack of opportunity
+as you swipe out of its range first. That is going
+
+to be a 15, actually, not bad.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: That hits!
+
+LAURA: You just got bit by a rat,
+running away.
+
+MATT: As it snaps out at you, you take
+five points of piercing damage. As it bites out,
+
+you feel its teeth sink into the back of your calf
+muscle, through the armor and into the back of the
+
+thick running muscle. The pain strikes through
+you. You yank your foot away and you feel
+
+something tear. You can feel the blood running
+down the back of your leg and inside your boot as
+
+you feel the pounding of the very dirty bite that
+it’s left in the back of your leg.
+
+TRAVIS: The rat takes ten points of frost damage.
+
+MATT: As you pull away from it, the pounding pain
+of your leg is also accompanied by the sudden
+
+sound of a rat shattering into ice pieces against
+the ground and disintegrating. As it bites and
+
+sinks its teeth into you, the thing suddenly
+crusts over with a similar type of strange,
+
+yellowish-green ice before it T-1000 shatters
+across the floor of the inside of the sewer.
+
+Continuing your round.
+
+TRAVIS: I reach back to strike the rat. As my hand
+comes down, I’ll summon the falchion into my hand
+
+and strike down.
+
+MATT: In one sweep, an empty hand apparates, and
+water springs out from the grasp as it slams down.
+
+Go ahead and roll for an attack.
+
+LAURA: Is it also yellow water?
+
+MATT and TRAVIS: No.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a 14.
+
+MATT: A 14 hits. You can roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: It was one-handed, so 1d8.
+
+Ten points of damage.
+
+MATT: As you sweep down, you completely bisect the
+rat with your blade. It screams out in this loud,
+
+heavy, horrible, monstrous squeak. You’re not used
+to hearing what normally is a small rodent sound,
+
+but amplified from a larger, bulbous, mutated form
+that it now has. As you impact, you see it cut in
+
+half. It releases this putrid cloud of whatever
+gases its body holds in it. I need you to make a
+
+constitution saving throw, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Nine, 13.
+
+MATT: You manage to hold your breath and back out
+of it as it dissipates around you. That finishes
+
+your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it does.
+
+LAURA: Fjord! Why you got to fart while we’re
+fighting?
+
+TRAVIS: I got nervous!
+
+SAM: There’s a couple rats within range of my
+allies, right? So that I could get sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Correct! There’s one right there. Each one
+of these is considered one spot between you.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll disengage, back away down that
+hall that way, get far enough away, then turn
+
+around back, go (whimper), and fire my crossbow at
+the one next to Jester. No, that’s Molly.
+
+MATT: Right there. Okay, go for it. Roll for
+attack.
+
+SAM: 15 plus four, I think?
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Okay. That’s a lot of d6s. Right? Yeah.
+
+Okay, so. 15.
+
+MATT: It rears back and goes to leap in the air
+towards Molly’s face. It gets maybe two inches off
+
+the ground before your bolt sinks right through
+its skull, emerges on the other side, and it spins
+
+in the air. The momentum of its leap striking the
+momentum of your bolt, and there’s a spray of
+
+blood in the air. This noxious cloud of gas
+emerges from the wound that’s left in the side of
+
+its throat. I need Molly, Beau, and Yasha to make
+constitution saving throws, please.
+
+MARISHA: Not fun.
+
+(groaning)
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no.
+
+SAM: It’s a small hole the bolt makes.
+
+MATT: It’s like popping a balloon. It (explosion).
+They seem, based on the bacteria and whatever
+
+they’ve been living in, to be carrying a large
+amount of this gas in their body. What’d you get?
+
+MARISHA: Natural one.
+
+ASHLEY: Eight.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: Molly, you pull away for the moment and put
+your coat over the front and block it. The two of
+
+you, unintentionally, it gets into your nose, it
+stings your eyes, you both take three points of
+
+poison damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+ASHLEY: Shit.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: (gagging)
+
+MATT: Finished your turn, Nott?
+
+SAM: That’s it.
+
+MATT: Beau, you’re up. As you’re coughing, it’s
+stinging all of your senses, and you right
+
+yourself and prepare for your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Oh sorry. Hang on, I’m taking damage.
+One, two, three– apply damage. I’m going to take
+
+this one that is in between, closest to me and
+Yasha, and I’m going to do a big ol’ golf swing
+
+with my quarterstaff. Not that dice, you were mean
+to me. Ooh, that’s good! 22 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no, that’s a four. I thought that was
+a one for a second. Eight damage.
+
+MATT: Eight damage. Angrily, in response to this,
+you sweep down with a giant golf swing of your
+
+staff, and as it hits, it impacts, bludgeons the
+side of its body. It gets slammed, hits the wall,
+
+and falls to the ground. Some of the gas seeps out
+of its body, but it isn’t exposed. It is dead, but
+
+the method of damage delivery seemingly didn’t
+disturb whatever was contained within its body.
+
+MARISHA: Interesting. I still have my other
+attack, yeah? Can I move in and kick that guy?
+
+MATT: Over which one?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that one. I’m going to rat kick.
+Rat kick.
+
+Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Jesus!
+
+MARISHA: Come on, give me that big ol’ four–
+That’s a one! Six damage.
+
+MATT: You rush up and critically kick this rat in
+the side of its body. Wham! You feel breaks and
+
+bones, or might be sticks, might be whatever else
+has created this shell of debris about its body.
+
+It gives this screeching sound as falls over onto
+its side and then gets back in its place. It’s
+
+hurting, it’s barely holding itself in place, but
+it’s angry and ready to snap back at you.
+
+MARISHA: I reach over to Yasha and I go–
+
+MATT: And it is Yasha’s turn, actually.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Wait, is this a dog next to Caleb,
+what is this?
+
+MATT: No, those are all rats. I didn’t have as
+many rat minis for this. Use your imagination!
+
+TRAVIS: (laughing) I have reservations about
+killing a sewer dog.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I think–
+
+MATT: You get the idea.
+
+ASHLEY: I think she’s got this, so– I don’t want
+anything to happen to Caleb. Can I get to any of
+
+the ones over by him?
+
+MATT: You have enough movement to get to any of
+those.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I’ll move over to one of those.
+Let’s go to the one closest to him.
+
+MATT: Over here? One, two, three.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to– Wait, so slashing– so
+bludgeoning keeps it from–
+
+LIAM: From breaking open.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to rear back and punch it.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. Make an attack roll.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Punch it.
+
+MATT: Yasha the rat puncher! You’re not raging,
+right? It’s just a regular attack.
+
+ASHLEY: 23.
+
+MATT: That hits. So it takes one point of damage,
+plus whatever your strength modifier is.
+
+LAURA: That’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t you have a– Actually, you’ve got
+an unarmed strike.
+
+ASHLEY: Unarmed strike, yeah.
+
+LAURA: I look like I have an unarmed strike too,
+but I don’t think I do.
+
+ASHLEY: One, plus your strength modifier.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: So that means you can do four points of
+damage. Technically, it’s not one point, it’s four
+
+points–
+
+MATT: Well, it’s one point, and then she adds her
+strength modifier to it. So four, yeah. So it
+
+takes four points of damage. As you bludgeon it,
+you hold the sword with one hand– Or your sword’s
+
+probably still sheathed at this point, you’re
+holding the torch in one hand, so you rush up and
+
+fist-punch it.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I get– I don’t because I moved– do I
+get a bonus action? (mumbling) Still trying to
+
+figure this out.
+
+LIAM: Is the torch in your punching hand?
+
+MATT: It’s not a light weapon, it’s not a weapon
+you can off-hit with it.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I just touch it? Set it aflame?
+
+MATT: You could’ve if that was your action, but
+you’ve already punched it. However, you did
+
+straight up rush up and cold-cock deck a sewer rat
+in the face. Once again, you feel the crunching
+
+right behind it as it falls over and gets back up,
+its jaw’s hanging off to one side, and it has this
+
+horrible gurgling sound as it screams at you. A
+combination of this reddish blood and whatever
+
+putrid green liquid is mixing and pouring out of
+its mouth.
+
+ASHLEY: I move my cloak to–
+
+MATT: Okay, that ends your turn then, right? All
+right, it’s now their turn. This one is going to
+
+shift around, painfully limping to get down and
+try to bite out towards your legs. This one’s
+
+going to move, still in combat with you, and go
+after– actually no, because you punched it, it’s
+
+going to continue after you. This one is going to
+come after you as well, since you rushed up in its
+
+way. So the one coming after Beau. That is going
+to be a 15.
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Misses. You duck out of the way. The two
+against you is a 16?
+
+ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: That hits?
+
+ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All right, and a 17. Both hit. So you take,
+from that first one, six points of piercing damage
+
+as it leaps up and actually–
+
+ASHLEY: I have resistance to piercing.
+
+MATT: You’re not raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, you have to be raging?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s resistance from the rage.
+That’s okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, got it.
+
+MATT: You can use a bonus action on your turn to
+rage if you want to.
+
+ASHLEY: Got it, okay.
+
+MATT: It’s okay. So you take six points of
+piercing damage. As it bites up and you put your
+
+arm in the way and it clamps onto your forearm, it
+begins tearing. You shove it off and it lands onto
+
+the ground, spins, and gets back to its feet. The
+other one, you take four points of piercing
+
+damage. As you shove that one off, the other one
+leaps onto your back and begins snapping at the
+
+back of your neck and shoulders, and you shove it
+back onto the ground, and it readies itself for
+
+another strike as they’re slowly swarming around
+you. Ending their turn now, Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to run up to the one that
+just attacked Yasha. Yeah, and I’m going to hit it
+
+with my handaxe because I’m not very smart.
+
+MATT: Go for it. This is the one that’s already
+been punched too, so you rush up with your handaxe
+
+and swing. Go and make an attack roll.
+
+TRAVIS: You could flip it blade-up.
+
+LAURA: That definitely hits. That’s 21.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: That’s a seven.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage. The rat that’s face
+is already broken, even when it managed to bite
+
+towards Yasha earlier, it was mostly dragging its
+top fangs across the side of her forearm as its
+
+jaw would not actually snap shut. You finish the
+blow by taking the axe, swiping down. As you do,
+
+you carve into its body and a cloud of poison
+dissipates from its torso area. I need Yasha,
+
+Caleb, and you, Jester, to make constitution
+saving throws, please.
+
+LAURA: Aw, you see it was like, (strains) no, fuck
+you.
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. You manage to hold yourself off, not
+being taken into it a second time.
+
+LIAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: Five points of poison damage to you as you
+accidentally inhale a spray of it into your face,
+
+you’re like (gasping).
+
+TRAVIS: It’s in my mouth!
+
+MATT: Five? You also take five points of poison
+damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: Tomato juice bath.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: That shit doesn’t work.
+
+TALIESIN: No, it doesn’t help.
+
+MATT: That end your turn, Jester?
+
+LAURA: I think so.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you finish coughing.
+
+LAURA: Wait! Yeah, I don’t want to use that just
+yet.
+
+MATT: Okay, then Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I see the mess this is making, and I’m
+going to turn around and I’m holding the sword,
+
+but I’m going to punch with the hilt of my sword.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Which one are you going up to,
+the one that Beau kicked earlier?
+
+TALIESIN: No, the one that attacked Yasha.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll a d20 and add your
+strength bonus.
+
+TALIESIN: Plus my strength, my non-existent
+strength modifier.
+
+That’s a 12 to hit.
+
+MATT: 12 just hits.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s one damage!
+
+MATT: You deal one point of damage to that one. As
+you reach down and sock it in the head–
+
+TALIESIN: I can take a bonus attack though, and
+I’m going to hit it again.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+MATT: Well, are you attacking with your–
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I’m using my other hand, since
+technically I have two attacks, it’s not two–
+
+MATT: You have two attacks with the light weapon
+on the side, technically. Eh, I’ll allow it. It’s
+
+fine, go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s another point of damage.
+
+MATT: Okay, so it takes two points of damage. So
+now you guys are rat punching. You guys are going
+
+through and punching the fuck out of rats.
+
+TRAVIS: Punching the fuck out of rats.
+
+MATT: Repeatedly decking the face–
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck you, you dirty rat.
+
+MATT: Your knuckles are bleeding a little bit.
+It’s not really enough to damage you, but as
+
+you’re punching down, you’re hitting slick oiled
+fur and jagged points of broken wood and whatever
+
+else has jammed itself into its matted fur. But
+you’ve managed to hit it a couple of times and
+
+it’s taken a little bit of damage, but it’s still
+like (snarls). It looks very cornered and lashing
+
+out now. That ends your turn, Molly. Caleb, you’re
+up.
+
+LIAM: I would like to start backing up towards, in
+this direction, towards Nott, away.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+LIAM: Oh no. I would use a Caleb bonus action to
+dry heave and then I will use my action to cast
+
+Fire Bolt towards the rat by Yasha.
+
+MATT: By Yasha, go for it. Roll for the attack.
+
+LIAM: Ja. (groans) That it is a– oh no, that’s
+okay. It’s a 13.
+
+MATT: 13 hits. Go and roll damage on the Fire
+Bolt. It’s a d10, right?
+
+LIAM: Ja, d10. It’s five hit points of damage.
+
+MATT: Five? Between the punches you gave it,
+that’s enough to finish it.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: As you run back, you finish dry heaving and
+then release the bolt of fire. It rockets past,
+
+the sewer walls light up in succession down,
+following the streak of flame through. As it
+
+impacts, there’s a burst and, what would have been
+the gas that is released from its body,
+
+incinerates from the fire damage and does not
+affect anyone surrounding it. All righty,
+
+finishing Caleb’s turn, that brings us to the top.
+Nott and Fjord.
+
+LAURA: Are there more rats?
+
+MATT: There is one more over here that’s limping
+next to Beau.
+
+SAM: Where’s our order?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s down here! It’s rats, we’re not using
+that shit.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: All right. Nott will go forward next to Caleb
+and peer around, and fire another crossbow.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no, I got it! God!
+
+SAM: I know! I haven’t been in any gas, I don’t
+know what’s going on. All I can see is you guys
+
+going (yelling) like weirdos. So I’ll fire.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, too helpful. You’re being too
+helpful!
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: There’s sneak attack damage too, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: That’s a lot. In the teens.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+SAM: I guess I will–
+
+TRAVIS: Ray!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Way to date yourself right there.
+
+SAM: If there’s a way to pin the rat to the wall,
+I’ll do that.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you turn around the side of Caleb,
+putting your second bolt in, spinning around,
+
+firing, it strikes the side of it, and where you
+hit it in the side, there’s this large pocket of
+
+stretched rat skin where it’s pulled so far that
+the fur itself is disparate and you can see the
+
+peach flesh beneath the fur. As it hits, it
+(explosion). It’s a combination of force from both
+
+the blow of the bolt and the propulsion of the
+release of gas that sprays right in the direction
+
+of Beau. I need you to make another constitution
+saving throw, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Save. You got it, smash it. You’re rolling
+the bad dice again.
+
+MARISHA: It rolled a natural one again! Laura, put
+it in jail.
+
+MATT: That’s okay, you only take one point of
+poison damage, I rolled really low for that one.
+
+LAURA: It’s really pretty though, what a pretty
+die.
+
+MARISHA: (whimpering) I know.
+
+MATT: You take one point of poison damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Everyone’s catching their disease here.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, Matt! Wait, how do we know where
+we’re going, though? How will we choose?
+
+MATT: I’ll leave this here as a visual aid, sure.
+
+TALIESIN: You worked to make it so nice.
+
+MATT: This is the direction you guys had come in
+from, so the liquid is traveling down this way,
+
+and then down this way, and there is no liquid
+from the side, and the web that you had destroyed
+
+is up in this corner.
+
+LAURA: Okay, we go that way.
+
+MATT: You’re going to go in this direction?
+
+LIAM: Before we move, I am standing with two
+flickering Calebs next to me and all three of us
+
+look at Molly like Jim from The Office and they go
+away.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh no, how hurt is everyone?
+
+TRAVIS: You gotta look in the camera.
+
+TALIESIN: I did.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh good, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I’m 19 out of 32.
+
+LAURA: Right? I should do a Cure Wounds on you.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take it.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I cast Cure Wounds on Yasha!
+
+LIAM: What were you down to?
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+LAURA: That’s above your whole–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s my max.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s your max?!
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I’m sitting at 14.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, it’s good I took the hits, you
+know?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s your job.
+
+LAURA: That’s why I said it. Eight points.
+
+MATT: In comparison to some of the scents you’ve
+encountered in this conflict, suddenly the rest of
+
+the sewer doesn’t smell as bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Yup. Nostrils are burned right the fuck
+out.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh. How hurt are you, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: I’m all right. I’m only down five hit
+points.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. Let me know, you guys, because
+I’ve got lots of healing! Because I’m the cleric.
+
+TALIESIN: Seriously, Caleb, how are you?
+
+LIAM: Ah, you know, I’ve been worse. It’s okay.
+I’m okay.
+
+TALIESIN: If we hit you really hard, would you
+still be standing up right now?
+
+LIAM: If who hits me very hard?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a good question, I hadn’t really
+thought about that.
+
+LIAM: If she hits me very hard, I am a dead man.
+If she hits me very hard, I’m probably okay.
+
+SAM: I would never hit you!
+
+LIAM: I know, that’s just– you know, it’s just
+a–
+
+SAM: I care for you, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: You have a monster on your chest.
+
+ASHLEY: Are you very scared?
+
+LIAM: Generally, are you asking me?
+
+ASHLEY: Just right now?
+
+LIAM: Right now? No, because I am with all of you,
+and those were just mice.
+
+SAM: I am extremely scared right now, but I think
+that we killed the monster and we can go back to
+
+surface now, right?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think that that was the monster.
+
+SAM: That was clearly something down here that’s
+been killing people.
+
+LAURA: I think something’s making those things
+like that.
+
+LIAM: The rats are not making webbing. There’s
+something else.
+
+LAURA: Oh god, what if it’s a giant spider?
+
+LIAM: It’s probably a giant spider.
+
+LAURA: And it’s infecting the rats. (whispering)
+And they’re turning into poisoned–
+
+SAM: Spiders don’t like rats, do they?
+
+TALIESIN: Rat spiders! Ooh!
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t understand why those rats were–
+
+LAURA: Poison balloons?
+
+ASHLEY: (chuckling) Yes.
+
+SAM: Did you see the one that kind of looked like
+a dog, though? That was freaky.
+
+TALIESIN: At first, I thought it was some sort of
+evil gassy dog.
+
+LIAM: Well, I would theorize that perhaps their
+diet is 20% food and 80% diarrhea, so it’s not
+
+very surprising that they explode into fecal
+matter.
+
+MARISHA: Can I bend down and, covering with my
+vest a little bit, see if I can search and figure
+
+out exactly what these things are made out of?
+
+MATT: Okay. As you push through one of the open
+wounds from one of the ones that was cut through
+
+by either Jester or Fjord. I’d say about a third
+of the body mass is an assembled shell of refuse.
+
+The interior of it appears to be rat or
+animal-like. General array of organs, though a lot
+
+of them have a colorless gray or beige appearance
+to them, and a lot of them look to be in various
+
+stages of necrosis, and there’s a lot of infection
+inside.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: (groaning)
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s pretty nasty.
+
+MARISHA: Guys, I think these are undead rats.
+
+LAURA: I think they’re full of pus!
+
+TALIESIN: Are they undead rats?
+
+MATT: You can go ahead and make an intelligence
+check.
+
+TALIESIN: With advantage?
+
+MATT: With advantage.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Where’s my intelligence–
+there we are. That’s a– no, that’s a nine.
+
+MATT: Nine.
+
+TALIESIN, TRAVIS, LAURA, and ASHLEY: Nein!
+
+LIAM: You could just say nine.
+
+MATT: You would know enough, from the knowledge
+that you have, that while there is necrosis in
+
+there, it doesn’t look like its fully in there.
+These things are–
+
+TALIESIN: Mostly undead?
+
+MATT: Or at least, they were alive up until a
+moment ago. These infections, when they continued
+
+for a period of time, probably not for long.
+
+MARISHA: Zombie rats?!
+
+LAURA: Just really infected rats.
+
+LIAM: No, they had pinkeye in all their parts.
+
+TRAVIS: You know this really isn’t what we need.
+This is only the appetizer, maybe we should try to
+
+find the main course.
+
+LAURA: We should keep going. Should we be more
+sneaky, or should we just walk?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, maybe we should be sneaky.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think stealth would be a good
+idea.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s be sneaky.
+
+TRAVIS: To the right.
+
+MATT: To the right, okay. You do get a glance with
+your torchlight, Yasha, as you glance up the path
+
+across the way, and the path that curves around
+the side, and you do see a few other similar
+
+collections. Though not moving, or not reacting to
+the vicinity of where you are. Even glancing at
+
+the ones who were fighting you, you can see upon
+closer look that their eyes are snowblind, or
+
+infected to the point where they were very
+nearsighted, or close to blind. The patches in the
+
+distance you can see aren’t reacting you your
+presence.
+
+LAURA: We could set them on fire from a distance.
+
+TRAVIS: Or just don’t disturb them.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but what if they all spring up. We
+could just set them on fire.
+
+SAM: Are we going that way?
+
+MATT: No, you’re going that way.
+
+SAM: We’re going a different way.
+
+LAURA: Okay then, let them live, and die in
+horrible pain.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: (laughs) I’d like you to all roll stealth
+checks, please.
+
+SAM: Stealth checks! Can you help someone there,
+Jester?
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, here you go!
+
+SAM: Not me, I don’t need it.
+
+LAURA: Who is the most noisy of us all? Which one
+of you fuckers needs some help?
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled shit for stealth, so it wouldn’t
+do me any good.
+
+LAURA: Well here, take an advantage.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+MATT: I’ll let it happen. Usually you have to give
+that before they roll so you don’t know.
+
+LAURA: Just kidding.
+
+ASHLEY: Should I take up the rear?
+
+LIAM: You’re coming back after a break.
+
+MATT: It’s fine.
+
+ASHLEY: 15?
+
+MATT: 15 is better.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+LAURA: Hold on, I have to check–
+
+SAM: Ten. Not so good.
+
+LAURA: Eight. Not so good.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: 18.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys continue down the right
+pathway, you continue further and find the
+
+clusters of makeshift bits of discarded material
+begin to give way as about 20 feet ahead of you,
+
+the torchlight begins to refract and reflect
+against some sort of soft material that is
+
+drifting and enclosing a portion of the walkway.
+You see ahead of you a majority of the tunnel is
+
+currently blocked, other than a small path on the
+right side of it, by a dense webbing of some
+
+kind.
+
+LAURA: Let’s set it on fire!
+
+MATT: You see a large knot, or a– not a Nott, a
+knot of webbing as well, that is held aloft a foot
+
+off the ground.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the egg sack.
+
+SAM: Or a body.
+
+LAURA: Or it could be somebody that’s being slowly
+sucked dry of all their blood.
+
+MARISHA: You’re totally right.
+
+LAURA: Should we set it on fire, or should we see
+if it’s living?
+
+TALIESIN: I think we should try to cut it down in
+case it’s a person.
+
+LAURA: Is it wiggling at all?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? It does not appear to be moving.
+
+LAURA: I think it’s dead.
+
+SAM: You think its dead?
+
+LAURA: Or it’s sedated.
+
+ASHLEY: What if we (blows air)?
+
+SAM: Should we go try to cut it down? Without
+alerting them.
+
+TRAVIS: You normally touch a spider’s web, they
+come running.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: I have read a lot of books. Lots of them.
+Have I ever read anything about the science of
+
+larger insectoid creatures?
+
+MATT: Possibly insectoids. This would not be,
+technically, an insect.
+
+LIAM: Okay, but it’s not familiar to me?
+
+MATT: I mean, it’s webbing. There are many
+creatures in nature that use webbing in different
+
+forms and types.
+
+LIAM: Like YouTubers.
+
+MATT: Yes, there’s that too. Glancing at this, the
+mass that is encased in the webbing is about this big.
+
+LAURA: It’s a dog.
+
+MATT: It’s about dog-sized.
+
+TALIESIN: Or a rat.
+
+ASHLEY: Is it close enough to us?
+
+MATT: It’s about 20 feet ahead of you.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we see a past that into any further
+clumps of webbing?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage,
+because it does go beyond the torch threshold.
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t appear to be human-sized.
+
+MATT: That one does not, no.
+
+MARISHA: That one does not.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: Looking past, you can see layers of webbing
+continue for about, what you can see, 20 feet
+
+beyond that. It looks to be an even heavier wall
+of it behind that completely blocks continued
+
+access into that chamber. You can see two other
+much larger clusters of webbing that are wrapped
+
+around something.
+
+ASHLEY: Are we able to get to this lump?
+
+MATT: You can get to it, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Or do we have to go through some of the
+web?
+
+MATT: There’s bits of it that are drifting below.
+You see that it does shift every now and then. It
+
+looks like there’s some sort of a breeze coming
+through, faint as it is. That’s why, from the
+
+webbing that is currently held aloft between the
+ceiling and the floor and the left wall, from your
+
+perspective, the first one you see, every now and
+then you see it faintly shift, as if a breeze or
+
+water moves through.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we have to break any of the planes of
+webbing to get to this cluster?
+
+MATT: To get to this one? No.
+
+LAURA: Let’s cut it down.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe we can look at it up closer?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try to very gently, maybe,
+with everyone’s permission I’m going to gently
+
+start cutting into the bottom of it, not too
+deeply.
+
+SAM: Wait! Should we get ready for some sort of
+distraction or to do something to the other web first?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sorry, do you have a plan?
+
+SAM: No, no, I just–
+
+TALIESIN: Well, all right then. I keep moving
+downward.
+
+MATT: Okay, is this the one with your activated
+rite?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: And the rite you activated was?
+
+TALIESIN: It was the radiant rite.
+
+MATT: The Rite of the Dawn. As his scimitar, which
+is now glowing with this faint radiant light
+
+energy, it almost burns through as you carve
+through. Slowly, it’s not an easy cut, but you do
+
+carve through. As you do, the webbing begins to
+curl back and blacken at the edges. As it pulls
+
+away, you see something furry and fleshy. As you
+pull it back a few more inches, you watch as a rat
+
+head, lolls out, a tongue falling out the side. It
+looks to be dry, it looks to be bereft of any sort
+
+of internal liquid or life.
+
+LAURA: That’s good to know. That means the
+human-sized ones are probably fucked up too.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, that’s probably true.
+
+TALIESIN: Or they haven’t been eaten yet.
+
+LAURA: How long ago did they say the guards went
+down and didn’t come back?
+
+TRAVIS: Quite a while, but I’ll remind you that
+our mission is not to retrieve any guards. It’s to
+
+kill this beast.
+
+LIAM: If we kill the beasts that are down here,
+then it might be worthwhile to also check the
+
+bodies of the guards, you know, because they’re
+not going back to the to their families, you
+
+following me?
+
+TRAVIS: That was dark and angry.
+
+SAM: Steal from the dead bodies?
+
+LIAM: Well, they’re not going to use it.
+
+SAM: I agree. Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll work with that.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we move forward to the first plane
+of webbing that would hinder our movement?
+
+LIAM: Just a suggestion, we don’t have to do this,
+I’m not even sure how I feel about it, but I have
+
+just learned how to create a somewhat spectral
+servant to me, one that is unseen. I could send it
+
+in to poke about and if anything is going to
+happen, it could happen to it first, instead of us.
+
+SAM: I like that idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Does it interact with the environment?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it could poke at things and you know.
+
+MARISHA: Would it move the webbing as it went
+through?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: What do we like more? Poking the webbing,
+or sending it up in flame?
+
+MARISHA: I agree with Fjord. I think we we start
+poking around, that thing’s going to come running.
+
+TRAVIS: Might as well–
+
+SAM: But then we’ll get to see it, and get the
+drop on it.
+
+LIAM: If you burn its web it will do the same
+thing.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. What if we back up and burn it?
+
+TRAVIS: My way of thinking is what if that web is
+sticky as shit. I don’t want to get caught in it.
+
+LAURA: That’s why I said; why don’t we back up and
+burn it?
+
+LIAM: I think that’s actually a very good idea.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s try and not set fire to the human
+shaped things.
+
+SAM: Yeah. What if they’re still alive?
+
+LAURA: Well, Caleb, how about you send your
+spectral servant to poke at the little masses of
+
+human and see if they start wiggling?
+
+LIAM: Okay. Also, I will say that, you were
+worried about burning their dead bodies. But if we
+
+burn the dead bodies they might burn, we’re not
+going to help them, but if any coin have, or any
+
+items that are magical in nature will be fine. So
+it’s okay.
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah, that’s good.
+
+ASHLEY: The thing is, if we kill them, I mean,
+we’re putting them out of their misery. You know.
+
+LAURA: They’ll probably end up as giant pus sacks
+if they survive.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, they’re probably already–
+
+SAM: Or maybe they just were wrapped up five
+minutes ago, and they’re totally fine.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s possible. This thing that I can
+do, this servant that I can make, It’s not going
+
+to be able to open these things. It’s very weak.
+
+LAURA: I said poke it. Then if they wiggle, then
+we know that they’re alive.
+
+LIAM: That’s true.
+
+TRAVIS: How about a poke and then a flame?
+
+TALIESIN: Poke and wiggle. Then a flame.
+
+ASHLEY: I think if they start moving, this thing’s
+going to–
+
+TALIESIN: Well, it knows that they’re alive—
+
+ASHLEY: But then we’ll get eyes on it.
+
+TALIESIN: So I’m sure they wiggle every now and
+then anyway.
+
+TRAVIS: That way Nott doesn’t have bad dreams that
+we burn some people that are still alive and then
+
+we can set it all on fire.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, no, that was Caleb who was freaked
+out by fire.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, right.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Do it, Caleb!
+
+LIAM: I pull a stick out of my coat, and I hold it
+between thumb and pinky like this, and there’s a
+
+string wrapped around it, and I take my fingers,
+and I pull along the string, which begins to glow
+
+a faint gold glow, and a being, same height, and
+about same skinny-ass proportions as myself
+
+appears before me.
+
+MATT: Well, it does not appear.
+
+LIAM: It doesn’t appear? You tell me, because
+you’re the dungeon master.
+
+MATT: It’s unseen, but you sense its presence
+arrive.
+
+LAURA: It’s unseen.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, that’s what that means.
+
+MATT: On the dry, dust-covered floor of this
+interior part of the sewer, where the temperature
+
+has dropped and is a little less humid in this
+area, there are two small plumes of dust on the
+
+ground and you sense the servant has arrived.
+
+LAURA: I go up and I push it.
+
+MATT: Okay, you put your hand forward and it’s
+like hitting the back of someone’s back, but
+
+there’s nothing there and it catches you off
+guard, you’re like “What the heck?” It feels
+
+somewhat amorphous, like a heavy wind pushback for
+a second, but there’s no wind and there’s no
+
+whipping of force around your arm. It’s very
+strange.
+
+LAURA: I think your unseen servant farted on me.
+
+LIAM: Well the rats have already started. So
+Schmidt, I want you to go to these larger bundles
+
+and give them a little pokey-poo.
+
+MATT: All right, Schmidt goes past–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You sense this– the first webbing barricade
+which has a small five-foot space between it and
+
+the wall, to the next one, the one that you saw,
+which encompasses the entirety of this wall. There
+
+are small one-foot wide sections of it along the
+upper part of the wall where there’s a gap, but
+
+most of it is pure web across. There are two of
+them there and are you getting close with the
+
+torch to reveal it? Otherwise it’s going to be
+beyond the torch light, it’s going to be very dim
+
+and hard to see the details.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I’ll follow as far back as I can.
+
+LIAM: I have to stay within 60 feet of Schmidt.
+
+MATT: Right, so the two of you approach the first
+barrier to see the second. As Schmidt approaches
+
+the second barrier, one of the masses, which does
+appear to be humanoid in size, shakes slightly,
+
+doesn’t react. The other one shakes slightly, and
+you watch as an arm limply falls from the side of
+
+it, some webbing tearing, as it does you hear a
+metal sword clang to the ground. You see a bracer
+
+that once belonged to a crownsguard.
+
+LIAM: (whispers) Schmidt, bring me the bracer.
+
+MATT: The bracer (whoosh) and drifts on its own in
+your direction.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if the giant spider thing heard
+that.
+
+LIAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, probably.
+
+LIAM: What did you say? I did not understand your
+accent.
+
+LAURA: (loudly) I said I wonder if the giant–
+
+LIAM: Shh!
+
+LAURA: You.
+
+SAM: She wonders if the giant spider heard it.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we all wonder that.
+
+TRAVIS: So they’re dead, huh?
+
+LIAM: Well, not moving.
+
+LAURA: Burn that shit then the spider will come
+and we will burn that shit too!
+
+ASHLEY: How close am I to one of the human form
+ones?
+
+MATT: You’re about ten feet from it.
+
+TALIESIN: They look pretty dead, don’t they?
+
+MATT: They look pretty dead, they’re ten to 15
+feet from you.
+
+TRAVIS: Firestarter!
+
+ASHLEY: I mean this is the firestarter over here.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s burn it.
+
+LIAM: I can do it from a distance, yeah.
+
+SAM: Should we get into some sort of position so
+we’re not all clumped together?
+
+MATT: Yeah, do you have any specific order you
+want to maintain here?
+
+TRAVIS: How about four on one side and three on
+the other of the tunnel?
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+ASHLEY: Caleb, do you want to stand behind me and
+little peeksies from behind?
+
+LIAM: I would like to stand behind everybody.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take the front of the other side of
+Yasha, since I’ve got some armor.
+
+LAURA: I’ll stand behind Fjord.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I guess I’ll go with team Caleb/Yasha.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow. Fucking betrayal. Okay.
+
+MATT: All right, Caleb, Yasha and Beau–
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying to split up evenly!
+
+MATT: Is it Molly and Fjord at the front of the
+other group?
+
+SAM: I’ll go behind Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay, so Nott goes behind Caleb and then we
+have Fjord and Molly on the other side with Jester
+
+behind them.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. Little bit of magic on both sides,
+little bit of tank.
+
+MATT: Okay. You move around that barrier and get
+to the next ten to 15 feet up where there is the
+
+next larger barrier of webbing and the two
+unmoving humanoid forms wrapped up there.
+
+LIAM: I can do this from 120 feet away, once every
+six seconds I’m going to use Fire Bolt. I would go
+
+(whoosh whoosh) and hit them both.
+
+MATT: Okay. They both impact and the bodies shift,
+there’s a burst of flame. Some of the webbing
+
+ignites and burns and curls away, but it looks
+like the flame is so instantaneous it’s not enough
+
+to immediately ignite the webbing. There is a
+burnt mark on them and neither of the forms move
+
+or react to the impact and the web shifts and
+shakes for a moment before it eventually comes to
+
+rest again.
+
+LIAM: Just as a test, to the one on the right I do
+it again.
+
+MATT: Okay, you do it a second time. It burns a
+little more, as the webbing burns away in that
+
+section you can see the crownsguard armor
+chestplate that is now a little bit charred
+
+beneath the impact.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, he’s dead. Should I just keep
+chipping away?
+
+MARISHA: You still have your torch, yeah?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I’ll help. Are we moving forward or
+we’re still–?
+
+MATT: They’re all still in the back, but you can
+move forward if you want to move forward.
+
+LIAM: Well, this is every six seconds so I could
+just stand here for a minute going (whoosh whoosh
+
+whoosh) and not get close.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey Nott, will you do me a favor and make
+sure nothing sneaks up behind us?
+
+SAM: There’s things behind us, too?
+
+TRAVIS: Could be.
+
+LIAM: So I guess I’ll take the next 30 or 40
+seconds, if that’s what it takes. I’ll focus on
+
+one and just keep burning it away.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go 15 feet behind us.
+
+MATT: Okay, you shift yourself 15 feet behind.
+Make a perception check so you can watch. With
+
+disadvantage because, unfortunately, you’re away
+from the torch light to do so.
+
+SAM: That’s a one.
+
+MATT: So you’re keeping watch.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As one after the other the webbing is
+shaking and shifting. Eventually, after four or
+
+five blasts the web begins to catch fire and you
+watch as the red and orange flames expand and
+
+begin to immolate both the unmoving bodies. The
+webbing then burns away and eventually begins to
+
+detach from the weight and the loss of tensile
+strength and that whole wall shifts and collapses
+
+to the ground, both of the bodies hit the ground.
+The webbing burns away, it’s not enough to catch
+
+the bodies on fire, though it does singe and burn
+the exterior and as you look they’re both in
+
+various states of decay. The skin you can see, as
+you approach a little bit, Yasha, to take a look,
+
+the cheeks within their helmeted heads are sunken
+and sallow. The lips are curled back over the
+
+teeth. They are drained of any internal life force
+or blood.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I poke around with the tip of my sword
+and see if there’s any money or something in their pockets?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: (singing) We are the worst. We are the
+worst.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s not using it.
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: Prodding around, yeah, there is. From just a
+glance, they both have coin purses on their belts,
+
+folded into their belt, as a protective measure.
+They both look like they were caught in a state
+
+where they’d be willing to travel anywhere and
+spend money.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take them.
+
+MATT: Okay, you being to pull from their bodies,
+what are the rest of you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: We could take their weapons, I bet they’re
+nice weapons. Or we could return them to the
+
+Crownsguard, maybe they would reward us?
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: Do they have a dog tag?
+
+MATT: Glancing about as you inspect the bodies,
+there’s no identifying tag to them. There isn’t an
+
+elaborate system of maintaining Crownsguard
+members or identifying that you’ve noticed at
+
+least.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I search for puncture marks? Stab
+wounds? Bite marks?
+
+MATT: Make a medicine check.
+
+LAURA: Can I take their helmets and put them in my
+pink bag?
+
+MATT: Sure, easy enough to do.
+
+LAURA: What about their weapons? Do they have
+any?
+
+MATT: They do. They both are carrying a longsword.
+They’re well kept, not used. You look along the
+
+blade and there are barely any signs of
+indentation.
+
+LAURA: Does it say anywhere “Property of the
+Crownsguard?”
+
+MATT: No, but they are uniform design. They’re not
+elaborate or ornamental. The Crownsguard weaponry
+
+are all pretty much designed or provided by a
+similar blacksmithy technique so they all feel
+
+like they’re uniform to a certain degree.
+
+TRAVIS: Ten on the medicine check.
+
+MATT: That’s enough. It’s not too hard to see. As
+you look over each of the two bodies, both of them
+
+have heavy puncture marks, either right in the
+back of the neck on one of them, or the other one
+
+has it right under the front of the chin. The
+puncture marks are about that wide, about two
+
+inches across on each side where the skin and
+flesh has bubbled and pushed away from the side
+
+and they go very deep in.
+
+TRAVIS: So big fangs. Probably fucking pincers.
+You know (clicking). Yeah. So watch your shit.
+
+LIAM: Caleb stands still for a second and looks
+around. Do I hear anything?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Oh, in my sleeve. Oh, that’s a one. So I
+don’t hear anything.
+
+TRAVIS: How’s the ground that we’re standing on
+now?
+
+MATT: There would have been some general webbing
+towards the base of this, but you’ve burned away
+
+that central area. As you step forward, you look
+beyond where that burning mark is and there is a
+
+stark left turn. It curves to the left and looking
+around the side it curves again to the right,
+
+maybe 20 feet beyond that and you see another
+webbing barrier where there looks to be three
+
+different figures. You see now there is another
+figure that is not part of the webbing barrier but
+
+is just webbed to the wall right next to it.
+
+TRAVIS: But the stone is unim–
+
+MATT: Unimpeded to the point it would be an
+issue.
+
+TRAVIS: Not tacky.
+
+MATT: No, you feel a little bit of stickiness when
+you step around from general fallen bits of stray
+
+webbing strands and such, but nothing that would
+impede your movement.
+
+LAURA: How is it to try to chop through it with
+the axe?
+
+MATT: You can go try to either the one behind you
+or the one ahead.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I want to try doing it and see if it
+sticks to the weapon or if it cuts through.
+
+MATT: To the one ahead?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You come forth to the web there in
+front of you to where the two other figures that
+
+are massed there. They are both humanoid and you
+now look over at a close glance as a third one,
+
+small, looks to be another one of the rat
+creatures that is caught in there. You carve
+
+through. Go ahead and make an attack roll. Roll
+damage for the handaxe.
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven, okay. You carve through and a large
+part tears through before your handaxe stops and
+
+you’re like (grunts) can’t push any more. You try
+and pull back and as you do, you pull your arm
+
+back and it gets ripped from your grasp and it’s
+now stuck and folded, and your handaxe is now
+
+wobbling in the web.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to very gently cut her handaxe
+out with my radiant sword.
+
+MATT: Okay. You begin to carve around it and pull
+it out, and you eventually get it free but now
+
+there’s a cluster of webbing around it almost like
+the world’s worst cotton candy. It’s wrapped
+
+around the center of it, but it’s sticky.
+
+TRAVIS: The worst kind of candy.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t eat it!
+
+LIAM: Jester, put it on the ground and take ten
+steps back away from it.
+
+LAURA: (metal plink)
+
+MATT: (metal plinks) The metal hits the ground and
+makes a bit of a sound.
+
+LAURA: Except it’s covered in webbing so not as
+much sound.
+
+MATT: No, but the metal still hits the ground.
+
+LIAM: (whoosh)
+
+MATT: You watch as the flames burn around it and
+free it. It lights up the vicinity a little bit.
+
+There’s that wedge opening where you’ve cut in
+that webbing barrier and behind it you can see the
+
+entire floor of the next portion appears to have
+some sort of webbing layer around it and all the
+
+walls are covered in it. Across the way you can
+see rungs and the end of this portion of the
+
+drainage that leads up into where you can see the
+wind would be coming through, and that faint bit
+
+of wind that’s pushing through that’s causing all
+the webs to shift is coming from what you can
+
+barely make out to be the faint bits of sunset
+light peeking through another exit. A sewage exit
+
+just like the one that you came in. You also see a
+number of other figures that are all webbed to the
+
+walls and encased within there.
+
+TALIESIN: All of the ones webbed to the walls are
+just as emaciated and dead?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Can I get my handaxe back?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Thanks, Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: Six.
+
+MATT: You glance past in the distance. It’s too
+hard to see, unfortunately, because the torchlight
+
+is too far away.
+
+ASHLEY: How close are we to those now?
+
+MATT: Well, you’re at the second web wall. That’s
+about 25, 30 feet from you so it’s beyond the
+
+torchlight of where you’re standing.
+
+LAURA: It’s a dead end past all of this? It’s a
+dead end and just goes up?
+
+MATT: It looks like it. It goes to a dead end, but
+it’s all covered in webbing.
+
+LAURA: It’s got to be around here somewhere,
+right?
+
+ASHLEY: Or it’s behind us and waiting until we get
+in its room.
+
+SAM: It’s not behind us!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start trying to cut down,
+find the points of the web wall where it’s being
+
+held together and cut any of the web.
+
+SAM: Nothing back here!
+
+MATT: Because of your rite, you manage to carve
+through and you watch as the second web wall comes
+
+and folds to the end. The bodies that are encased
+in it hitting the ground with heavy thuds. You can
+
+see the other bodies that are webbed to the walls
+around. On the inside, you can see the end of
+
+this. It is a giant web nest.
+
+LIAM: If we deem it safe, maybe someone could look
+out this other exit because, probably, something
+
+is down here with us, but mayhaps above the grate,
+this thing lives in a house perhaps. I don’t know,
+
+I’m spitballing.
+
+TRAVIS: Or if we go up to the grate, and try and
+get someone to open the hatch in case we need to
+
+beat a speedy retreat.
+
+LIAM: That is also good. That is two reasons to do
+it.
+
+LAURA: Should I go up?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, do it.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Give her the writ of law thing.
+
+LAURA: Is it blocked in and webby all along the
+ground?
+
+MATT: As you walk past, the ground itself is
+sticky. You can still move, but you’re hindered
+
+somewhat having to like pull through and it tugs
+at your feet. You guys watch as webbing tears and
+
+builds on the bottom of her boots as she walks
+in.
+
+LAURA: I stop walking.
+
+MATT: Okay. You stop and look and you can see the
+faint outline of bodies that are webbed to the
+
+wall. Parts of the faces that are revealed that
+are gray and lifeless, drained. On the far wall,
+
+you see a large cluster of webbing. It looks like
+a mass of three or four bodies jammed together and
+
+you see one body that’s right next to where the
+rungs are that is not as webbed as the others, and
+
+there is color to the skin. You see elements of a
+humanoid face. A halfling, it looks to be. About
+
+halfling sized. It is about a foot up off the
+ground, webbed to the wall, one arm is drifting
+
+out and part of the face and unconscious, but is
+not gray and dead like the others. And that’s
+
+where we’re going to take a break.
+
+SAM: Wait, no! But that’s a person!
+
+MATT: I know. We’ll come back on that. It’s
+because I want to make sure we all get to the
+
+bathroom, including myself. I have to pee like a
+fucking racehorse. So yeah. We’ll pick up on the
+
+reveal of this non-dead body.
+
+LAURA: I don’t like it either.
+
+ASHLEY: You went to no’s like, “No no no.”
+
+MATT: We’ll be back here in a few minutes. First
+and foremost, we have our Wyrmwood giveaway, which
+
+we’ve worked through some of the stuff. Yeah,
+giveaways and laws are weird. I apologize for the
+
+heads up, but as part of this Wyrmwood giveaway,
+you need to be in the Twitch chat to participate.
+
+I apologize.
+
+ALL: I apologize.
+
+MATT: We’re fans of Deadwood, if you couldn’t
+tell. Right now, the offer is only for residents
+
+of the United States and Canada, excluding Quebec,
+because of laws. We’re trying to figure out how to
+
+expand that, but that’s where we are at the
+moment, so I apologize if you’re not a part of
+
+that. I’m so sorry. We have no way to get around
+it, but we’re working on it. For the official
+
+rules, you can follow the link in chat. It should
+be available to you. Tonight’s prize is the Purple
+
+Heart Adventurer’s Arsenal, which you may
+recognize as the wood that Scanlan had in the last
+
+campaign. In case you haven’t seen what these
+arsenals are, it’s a dice box as well as a great
+
+interior. You can keep your dice, your pen, minis
+or erasers, anything else you want to keep in
+
+there. They’re pretty badass. So we have that. The
+contest has officially started, so all you have to
+
+do is go into Twitch chat. Tonight’s code is
+sewers. The plural. Sewers.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there an A in that?
+
+MATT: No. But yes, that’s the keyword. Only enter
+it once in chat because entering it more than once
+
+will disqualify you. Good luck, everyone. We’ll
+announce the winner when we come back from the
+
+break. We’ll be contacting the winners after the
+break so make sure you keep an eye on your
+
+whispers. We’ll see you guys back here in a few
+minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. First and foremost, we
+know that some folks are having problems or issues
+
+with the D&D Beyond discount code, which I think
+was “InvisibleWand.” They’re working on it at D&D
+
+Beyond, but don’t worry, the code will be active
+for a while. Look for updates or keep trying.
+
+They’re working on that. Also, we have our winner
+of our fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway.
+
+Congratulations to scopewar. Scopewar, you are the
+winner. We’ll get that out to you, so well done.
+
+Bringing us back in. You guys had just noticed the
+furthest element of this segment of the sewer,
+
+where the webbing had become far more apparent.
+You had discovered a few bodies that came over.
+
+You had carved through one wall and caused that to
+fall off to the side, and leading to the very end
+
+of it, you saw an ascension that went to another
+exit grate into the city. A number of bodies, one
+
+large webbed mass of a few bodies and one
+individual that looked to be still alive, though
+
+unconscious and webbed against the wall.
+
+LAURA: Is he reachable?
+
+MATT: From you right now, he’s about 20 feet ahead
+of you.
+
+LAURA: (whispered) He’s still 20 feet away from
+me. You guys! Hey fuckers!
+
+MARISHA: What?!
+
+LAURA: I’m a little worried about walking any
+further because my feet are starting to stick to
+
+the ground, like a lot. But there’s a halfling
+stuck to the wall over here and I don’t think he’s
+
+dead.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. You stay there with the halfling. I
+might be able to negotiate my way a little
+
+further.
+
+LIAM: Is Jester right up with the halfling?
+
+LAURA: No, I’m 20 feet away from it.
+
+TRAVIS: If you had to ballpark the distance to the
+halfling or to the very end of it?
+
+MATT: From you guys all together, it’s about 25
+feet, 30 feet. Jester is a little bit closer.
+
+SAM: All clear in the back!
+
+TALIESIN: I’d forgotten.
+
+TRAVIS: I am going to join Nott at the back and
+keep an eye on the rear.
+
+SAM: No need!
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, jeez Louise.
+
+TRAVIS: Ten.
+
+MATT: Okay, Fjord you shift around to join Nott in
+the back and you guys look off in that distance.
+
+You see nothing in the darkness behind you. Who
+else is doing what?
+
+LIAM: I am going to walk up to Jester and stand
+next to her and then I am going to send Schmidt
+
+forward to this halfling to try to maybe lift up
+his, its, I can’t tell you. The chin of this halfling.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to also move forward next to
+Caleb.
+
+MATT: You move forward next to Caleb as well. You
+guys are finding your feet sticking to the
+
+material of the floor webbing. You approach. You
+watch as the head of this halfling is pulled away
+
+from some of the webbing and lifted up. It is
+male. Actually, because you’re still with Yasha in
+
+the back, make a perception check both of you.
+
+LIAM: Well if I can’t see–
+
+MATT: It’s low light beyond that so make a
+perception check with disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got dope goggles, though.
+
+LIAM: Oh, well okay.
+
+MATT: You can make a straight perception check if
+you’d like.
+
+LIAM: Well I would say if I can’t see, if I knew I
+can’t see, if I were really in this place instead
+
+of sitting as this table.
+
+MATT: You can if Yasha comes closer, but Yasha has
+the only source of light.
+
+LIAM: If I couldn’t see coming up, I would go
+(poofing) and send out Dancing Lights.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+LIAM: There you go.
+
+MATT: The Dancing Lights appear in the air and
+begin to drift in help fill out the area, your
+
+torch light still being this larger beacon of
+flame light in the space. Beau, you glance ahead
+
+and can see as the chin is lifted, a thick band of
+tattoos–
+
+MARISHA: I think these goggles are like polarized.
+It’s real cool. He’s got a thick band of tattoos, sorry.
+
+MATT: A thick band of tattoos that completely
+encompasses the neck to the point where what’s
+
+exposed from beneath it’s like black shapes and
+designs completely around.
+
+MARISHA: Of the halfling?
+
+MATT: Of the halfling, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Do they look old or like a fresher
+tattoo?
+
+MATT: Did you roll a natural 20?
+
+MARISHA: I did roll a natural 20.
+
+MATT: Your amazing monk-like sight, they’re not
+fresh.
+
+MARISHA: They’re not fresh.
+
+MATT: They’re not fresh.
+
+MARISHA: Do I see puncture wounds?
+
+MATT: You do not.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Also, there’s this weird sense that creeps
+on Nott and Fjord as you’re glancing forward and
+
+you both turn over your shoulder to see a massive
+pale white and blue arachnid creature, legs
+
+spindling outward, at a width of ten feet or more.
+Giant dripping fangs and beady red eyes, a row of
+
+them glaring right at you as this (hiss) pincers
+open up.
+
+LAURA: How close is it to you guys?
+
+MATT: It’s right behind Fjord and Nott and it is
+striking you, Fjord, as its first strike.
+
+SAM: It snuck up on us?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, so it’s behind?
+
+MATT: It’s literally here!
+
+ALL: Oh!
+
+ASHLEY: Was it on the ceiling the whole time?
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 23 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Against my 14? Yeah!
+
+LIAM: While this death is happening, Caleb is
+Schmidt go like this to the halfling. Caleb’s
+
+going, “Hey guy, hey hey hey.”
+
+MARISHA: Halfling!
+
+MATT: You suffer seven points of piercing damage,
+as its fangs snap right into your chest area. Do
+
+you still have ice armor on?
+
+TRAVIS: I do, so he takes ten points of damage.
+The armor is gone.
+
+MATT: I also need you to make a constitution
+saving throw.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+TRAVIS: Shit! 17.
+
+MATT: You feel venom pulse into your body. Your
+physicality, however, being somewhat sturdy,
+
+manages to resist a large element of the poison
+that is suddenly thrust into your torso. You
+
+take– that’s a terrible roll. You take five
+points of poison damage. Nott, you look up and see
+
+this thing as it digs its giant pincers and fangs
+into Fjord’s body and it pulls back and you watch
+
+it vanish and disappear.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck!
+
+MATT: I need you all to roll initiative.
+
+LAURA: It’s an invisible spider!
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, invisible spiders are the
+best spiders because you can’t– hey, look at that!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, look at the webs!
+
+MARISHA: Why are we invisible? Oh.
+
+LAURA: We’re not invisible, those are dead people!
+I see dead people.
+
+TRAVIS: Invisible shit ass bitch! Nipples on a
+horse!
+
+MATT: The last place you saw this–
+
+ASHLEY: Are they invisible, the people that are on the walls?
+
+MATT: The last place you saw it was there before
+it disappeared.
+
+ALL: Fuck!
+
+LAURA: Where before it disappeared?
+
+MATT: Right there.
+
+LAURA: Wait, why are all the other things
+invisible? Does that mean those are other things
+
+that are going to attack us?
+
+MATT: These are all the bodies that have been
+webbed up. Initiative order for you guys, please.
+
+25 to 20.
+
+LAURA: 22!
+
+MATT: Nice!
+
+MARISHA: Oh goddamn it, he has it this whole
+time.
+
+MATT: All right, Jester’s up front at 22. 20 to
+15, guys.
+
+LIAM: 15! Fünfzehn.
+
+TRAVIS: I have 15, as well. Nobody has higher than
+a 15?
+
+LAURA: I had a 22.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean besides Jester.
+
+MATT: All righty, that was ten to 15? Ten to
+five.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry. Then ten to 15. I’m 13.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m 13.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re both 13?
+
+MATT: Beau and Molly. All righty, and ten to
+five?
+
+ASHLEY: Eight! Oh, seven, I’m sorry.
+
+SAM: Five!
+
+TRAVIS: Good, separated from everybody.
+
+LAURA: Man, you always have the shittiest
+initiative!
+
+ASHLEY: So do I.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, why do you guys always have bad
+initiative?
+
+SAM: Because we save it for when it really
+counts!
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+LAURA: Weird.
+
+MATT: The top of this round. Jester, you’re up
+first.
+
+LAURA: I’m up first! Okay, did I hear it happen to
+Fjord? Did I hear anything?
+
+MATT: No. Well, you hear like the reaction of
+pain, and you glance over just in time to see this
+
+large, monstrous spider body vanish in place.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+SAM: I’m probably screaming.
+
+MATT: Nott is just–
+
+SAM: (screaming)
+
+LAURA: I cast Spiritual Weapon, a giant purple
+lollipop! Oh no. I’ve got some, but you have one
+
+too, don’t you?
+
+TALIESIN: We have a couple around.
+
+MATT: Oh, do you have one there?
+
+LAURA: No, you have the one. Don’t you have the
+one?
+
+SAM: You have a one with the stand.
+
+LAURA: That Brittany made?
+
+MATT: Yes, but it appears to have been moved since
+they used the table last time. Oh well.
+
+LAURA: Somebody took a picture of it then
+disappeared it?
+
+MATT: It might have happened, yeah.
+
+LAURA: I make a giant teal lollipop instead! Here
+you go.
+
+MATT: Where shall we place this?
+
+LAURA: Directly overhead of where the spider
+disappeared.
+
+MATT: Okay, we’ll put it there. It worries me that
+I get to unveil that and it’s not around.
+
+MARISHA: Does anyone know where the lollipop is?
+
+MATT: It’s fine. Jester, you use that as your
+bonus action to cast. What are you using your
+
+action for?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to, oh god, cast Sacred Flame on
+the place that it was at. Can I do that?
+
+MATT: Sacred Flame is a cantrip?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You can, sure.
+
+LAURA: On the place that I saw it.
+
+MATT: Okay, you watch as the large lollipop
+apparates in that space and you cast Sacred Flame.
+
+It has no target to effect.
+
+LAURA: It’s not invisible guys, it’s gone.
+
+TRAVIS: Nothing happens?
+
+MATT: No, there’s no burst of flame. The spell has
+no target.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to back up against– oh no, if I
+back against a wall, it’s sticky, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: The space, all this area here, where the
+webbing starts is considered rough terrain to move
+
+through. So your speed is halved moving through
+that area.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take a couple steps, if I can,
+like up on those rocks next to Yasha is it? Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: We should probably clump together.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you back up onto the rocks and
+start pulling your feet out of the webbing as you
+
+do. That ends your turn?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Ending Jester’s turn. Caleb and Fjord, you
+guys are up.
+
+LIAM: Can I get either inside or behind that crate
+that’s in the corner with difficult terrain?
+
+MATT: I can say you can start to get into it. It
+doesn’t offer you any cover at the moment, but
+
+you’re in it right now.
+
+LIAM: Okay, for an action, I am going to cast the
+Blur spell on myself again und I will use my
+
+bonus action to have Schmidt come. I’m assuming
+he’s not affected by webs?
+
+MATT: He doesn’t seem to be.
+
+LIAM: Well then I will summon him to stand above
+me on the box.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+CALEB: So I’m blurry and there’s an invisible guy
+right above me.
+
+MATT: Ending Caleb’s turn. You are currently
+blurring and shifting.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, can I spin back after getting
+fucking bit by a goddamn spider, and can I back up–
+
+10, 15, 20. Does that cause anything to hit me?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+TRAVIS: Cool. I don’t see nothing, right?
+
+MATT: Currently, no.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. Can I fire Eldritch Blast in the
+direction that I saw it?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Make a main attack roll.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: (poof) It hits the stone wall behind it.
+It’s not there.
+
+TRAVIS: It moved!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You get the sense that it’s not apparently
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: I need to see it to do anything else. All
+right.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. That brings us to– all
+right. So–
+
+MARISHA: The spider is in between Fjord and Beau.
+
+LAURA: The spider is in between Fjord and Beau. I
+thought Travis would make the note, but he’s not.
+
+SAM: He’s busy.
+
+MATT: There is a moment, Fjord, as you back up
+after releasing your Eldritch Blast where it
+
+impacts the wall and you’re like, “Shit.” You hear
+this (whoosh) sound and look your right and it
+
+appears right next to you.
+
+LAURA: Where?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh fuck!
+
+ASHLEY: Well, he’s not invisible anymore.
+
+MATT: It lunges out towards you again.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, no.
+
+Shit, that’s another 23. Two 19s in a row.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, you don’t need me to tell
+you it hits.
+
+MATT: That is eight points of piercing damage, and
+I need you to make a constitution saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn!
+
+MARISHA: How many?
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, constitution saving throw.
+
+Oh, that’s an eight.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a lot of dice.
+
+MATT: All right, you take 15 points of poison
+damage.
+
+SAM: That’s all of the poison damage.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m unconscious. No! Relentl–
+The thing, I got the thing! It’s called Relentless
+
+Endurance! I come back to one hit point!
+
+LAURA: It’s Relentless!
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry, I’m half dead.
+
+MATT: As the fangs dig into the side of your
+torso, you pull back and try and defend yourself
+
+and it pierces your leather armor in your torso.
+It releases a huge burst of venom into your chest.
+
+You feel your lungs and heart seize for a moment
+and you almost fall back. That burning orcish rage
+
+from underneath gives you that last bit of
+inspiration to shrug off the poison and look back
+
+angrily and realize you are in deep shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh fuck.
+
+LIAM: There you go, Freemasons. He’s actually a
+half orc.
+
+MATT: All righty, that ends its turn. That brings
+us to Beau and Molly.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want to go first?
+
+TALIESIN: You can go first.
+
+MARISHA: Is there a way I can hop over the web
+situation?
+
+MATT: Is it bothering you?
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+MATT: It’s been bothering you this whole time?
+
+MARISHA: It was bothering me this whole time, too!
+I meant to fix it in the break.
+
+MATT: Laura Bailey, the kind of friend that tells
+you when you have a booger in your nose. I really
+
+appreciate it.
+
+MARISHA: Can I jump this gap where Molly is and
+avoid the webbing?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try. Go ahead and make an
+athletics check. You are standing in webbing, so
+
+it’s being able to–
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: I will say yes! I will give you the ability
+to leap through and land off to this side using
+
+your movement and avoid that ten feet and still
+manage to free yourself from the webbing. So that
+
+was 15 feet of your movement used to leap.
+
+MARISHA: So I have 25 more feet?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: How close can I get to the spider?
+
+MATT: Let’s give it a shot.
+
+LIAM: I mean, Beau is pretty fucking amazing in
+combat.
+
+MATT: 25! You’re not quite close enough.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+I don’t have any reach with my stick.
+
+MATT: No, you have whatever monk abilities that
+you have. You have eyes on it at the moment, yes.
+
+MARISHA: I will hold. I will take a dodge action.
+
+MATT: You start defending yourself, preparing for
+its onslaught. That brings me to Molly’s turn.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to head towards the spider, as
+close as I can get. There’s not a lot I can do.
+
+MATT: You’re right there.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Devil’s Tongue, I’m
+going to use Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: It rolls a natural 19 on its saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: (guttural Infernal sounds)
+
+MATT: That’s like three 19s in a row that it has
+rolled, by the way.
+
+LAURA: You have something in your throat, Molly.
+
+TRAVIS: What dice are you using?
+
+MATT: Well, the last two I was using the Golden
+Snitch. This one I used the black d20.
+
+SAM: We are all going to die because of the Golden
+Snitch.
+
+MATT: It was gifted to me at the end of the last
+campaign.
+
+TALIESIN: It was gifted.
+
+LAURA: Or did you throw it on the table and Matt
+snatched it up?
+
+TALIESIN: We are golden gods.
+
+MATT: You must invite the vampire in for it to
+cross the threshold.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I have made a terrible mistake.
+
+MATT: So, Molly, you moved up there and you’re
+still ten feet away from this creature.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just going to hold.
+
+MATT: All right, so you’re holding–?
+
+TALIESIN: An attack for the second that it’s
+within range.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re holding your action in case
+it shows up within range to strike it. Okay, good
+
+to know. That finishes their turn. Yasha, you’re
+up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, can I get to it?
+
+MATT: What’s your speed?
+
+ASHLEY: 30 feet.
+
+MATT: 30 feet? (counting) Just in range!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so. Um–
+
+I would like to rage.
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I would like to rage, and then–
+
+MATT: It spins around after Molly screamed at it,
+and it goes (snarling). You can see in your torch
+
+light, as you’re clutching it in your hand as you
+rush towards it. You’re going to have to drop that
+
+torch to grab your two-handed weapon.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You drop it on the ground, and as it hits
+the ground, the light flickers off of its eight
+
+red beady eyes. It turns, its fangs open towards
+you and you see the venom and bits of Fjord blood
+
+dripping off of the end of it as you rush towards
+it. All right, you rage, what are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: Rage, take out my sword and try to hit it
+between the eyes.
+
+MATT: Go for it, roll for attack.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+Okay.
+
+23.
+
+MATT: 23 hits! Roll damage.
+
+ASHLEY: What do I roll?!
+
+MATT: It’s d12 for your greatsword. Plus whatever
+your strength–
+
+ASHLEY: 2d6 plus three.
+
+MATT: Oh the greatsword yeah, d12 is greataxe.
+2d6, plus three, plus whatever your rage damage
+
+bonus is, which I think is two, right?
+
+ASHLEY: (grunting)
+
+LIAM: It’s like an airplane.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, this is the second fight.
+
+TALIESIN: It might auto if you select your–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, she didn’t get a session zero.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s plus two. It’s plus five damage
+to whatever you roll.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: Plus five to whatever I roll?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of slashing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck yeah, beast mode.
+
+As you rush towards it with a large arc,
+slamming down like
+
+(whoosh), you carve through part of its carapace,
+two of the eyes are cloven through and are now
+
+bloodied and ruined.
+
+LAURA: It’s blinded!
+
+MATT: It shrieks back. It’s hurt, but it’s still
+doing fine. Is that the end of your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, because I can’t do anything else,
+right?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I stand there at the ready with the
+point.
+
+MATT: Got it. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m going to shout out: I think this is
+the monster! I will nervously fire my hand
+
+crossbow at the beast, hoping not to hit any of my
+friends. 12 plus something? Six. 18.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage. You get sneak
+attack.
+
+SAM: Yeah. (counting) 14. Plus Fury of the Small,
+17 points.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: As it opens its mouth, the firelight from
+the torch flickering in, its horrible weirdly
+
+shaped spider-like mutated mouth open up where the
+pincers and the giant fangs are. A bolt sinks into
+
+its throat, and it starts shrieking, backing up
+defensively, the pain causing it to pull away from
+
+you. That’s a serious amount of damage.
+
+SAM: Yeah. I scramble away in Caleb’s direction,
+and that cocoon guy there. I’m going to hide right
+
+behind him.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a stealth check.
+
+SAM: Okay. A 15.
+
+MATT: Good to know. That finishes Nott’s turn.
+Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay can I come around the corner and get
+out of this nastiness? Ooh, it really did stick to it.
+
+MATT: It really did stick to it. Five, ten, 15,
+there.
+
+LAURA: Can I see everything?
+
+MATT: Yes, you see right where everyone is and
+where this creature is.
+
+LAURA: Okay I’m going to send my spiritual weapon
+down there to bash it over the head!
+
+MATT: 5, 10, 15, 20.
+It cannot quite get into range.
+
+LAURA: How did Yasha get all the way there and my
+thing didn’t get there?
+
+MATT: Because yours can only move 20 feet.
+
+LAURA: That’s so stupid. Okay.
+
+MATT: I believe that’s the case.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s only 20. Then I’m going to use
+Cure Wounds. Is it touch?
+
+MATT: Cure Wounds is touch, I believe.
+
+LAURA: Motherfucker!
+
+LIAM: Healing Word, maybe.
+
+LAURA: Yeah but it’s like dog shit. Aw, look at
+that.
+
+ASHLEY: Does it sparkle? It’s got all sparkly
+little–
+
+LAURA: Isn’t it so pretty?
+
+TALIESIN: It really ties the sewer together.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: There it is.
+
+LAURA: Healing Word is such dog shit, as far as
+what it can do.
+
+SAM: Healing Word? No, it’s not!
+
+LAURA: Psh, sure whatever. I guess I’ll do Healing
+Word to cure you. But you’re going to go down
+
+again, it’s not enough to heal you–
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to take a healing potion.
+
+LAURA: Oh, you are?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Do your thing.
+
+TALIESIN: Or do damage.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to– I’m sorry, you guys. I’m
+going to Sacred Flame it, then.
+
+MATT: Okay. What’s the–
+
+LAURA: 1d8 radiant.
+
+MATT: Well it needs to make a saving throw, right?
+That is an 11. I think your DC is 13 right? Yeah.
+
+Roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+Aw, two.
+
+MATT: Two points radiant damage. Hey, it all
+helps. A burst of radiant flame suddenly
+
+encompasses the front part of its body, between
+the impact of the bolt, the slashing from Yasha,
+
+and the blast, it looks like it’s starting to feel
+a moment of fight or flight. That end your turn?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it does.
+
+MATT: Caleb, Fjord, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I can see a straight line from the
+spider to me so I think–
+
+MATT: It does have partial cover, though, because
+of the angle you’re at.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay, all right. I’m going to use my
+movement to crawl out of the box so I can get a
+
+better bead on it hopefully. I’ll go as far
+forward and to the side as I can to get a better angle.
+
+MATT: (counting) That’ll improve your sight
+there.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so I am going to steady my arm against
+the other arm and point at it, and blacken my hand
+
+and send a Fire Bolt at it. Here it goes, we’ll
+see if it hits probably not. No, I don’t think it
+
+does. That is a 11.
+
+MATT: That unfortunately does not hit. As it’s
+reacting from the impacts, it begins to rear back,
+
+and as it does there’s this one flash of light. It
+seems like it notices its presence and gets really
+
+low and flat suddenly. Its whole body, which is
+massive, shrinks low to the sewer as it passes
+
+overhead. It pops back up, ready.
+
+LIAM: Then before the end of my turn I’m going to
+(snapping) and Schmidt silently comes up as close
+
+as he can get next to me.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: All righty. It’s now the spider’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s my turn.
+
+MATT: That’s right, I forgot.
+
+TRAVIS: With my bonus action, can I cast
+Hexblade’s Curse on the spider?
+
+MATT: Yes, you may.
+
+LAURA: You should just kill it! Kill it! It’s
+already nervous, kill it and don’t worry about
+
+healing yourself.
+
+ASHLEY: He’s looking rough.
+
+LAURA: Destroy it, Fjord!
+
+TRAVIS: With the fucking glove of blasting, that
+we took off the thing, can I go (grunting) and
+
+fire all three of the Scorching Ray balls at the
+spider?
+
+MATT: You may. Make your three attacks with
+disadvantage because it’s a ranged attack in
+
+immediate face-to-face range.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a nine, plus two for 11.
+
+MATT: 11 misses. The first one goes wide, second
+strike.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a one.
+
+MATT: Goes wide again.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 does hit. Your first time using the
+glove, you’re not too sure how the aiming works
+
+and the first two go off to the side, you’re like
+“Shit! Shit!” (boom) The third one finally
+
+impacts. Roll damage for that.
+
+LIAM: Aw man that’s that Fjord edge right there.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of fire damage. Plus, does your
+Hexblade’s Curse do anything on that? Don’t you
+
+add your–
+
+TRAVIS: Plus two to hit, that’s it. No, damage
+two, proficiency. Thank you.
+
+MATT: It’s ten, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Ten, thank you.
+
+MATT: (explosion) The second the Scorching Ray
+blast hits it as it’s rearing upright now, and as
+
+it lights up you can see the streaks of blue
+designs across its pale white body. The flames
+
+impact and burn around the side, it pulls back
+ready, angrily back towards you. That ends your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: What happened to the healing coming?
+
+MATT: It didn’t happen.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s a liar. He’s a lying liar.
+
+TRAVIS: You just got to kill the spider and I’ll
+be fine.
+
+TALIESIN: Fair.
+
+MATT: It’s trying to decide what is the biggest
+threat right now. I’m going to roll for it,
+
+between Yasha and Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Schmidt, it’s Schmidt.
+
+MATT: It’s going to go for Yasha.
+
+LAURA: Oh, thank god.
+
+TALIESIN: Blood Maledict. I see it look at her and
+I immediately full Blood Maledict. I’m going to do
+
+the fucked up one and I’m going to take four
+points of damage for it. There you go. I have that
+
+moment, I look at it, and my neck bursts and I
+bleed out the vein.
+
+MATT: You watch as a vein pours out the side, and
+the currently six intact red eyes of the spider
+
+all cloud over black with bits of trickling, dark
+purplish blood pouring from the edges of them.
+
+That gives it disadvantage. Which you are very
+lucky it is because that was a natural 20. That
+
+still comes to 16. Does that hit?
+
+ASHLEY: That hits.
+
+MATT: You take, from the fangs as it lurches
+towards you, oof, that’s going to be 11 points of
+
+piercing damage.
+
+ASHLEY: Halved.
+
+MATT: Yes, because you’re raging.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: You take five points of piercing damage, and
+I need you to make a constitution saving throw,
+
+please.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: You’ve got this.
+
+ASHLEY: Natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS: Woo, crit on that shit!
+
+MATT: As it lurches forward and slams its fangs in
+the collar bone area, you having no real armor to
+
+protect it, you take it head on. The fangs sink
+and you feel the venom pulse through your torso,
+
+through your arms. The burning pains goes through
+and you flex it off. As you do so, thankfully
+
+reducing what would have been– you only take 11
+points of poison damage.
+
+LIAM: Yasha is a heavy metal album. That’s pretty
+dope.
+
+MATT: It now sees you all moving around it, and it
+looks like it’s been hurting. You watch as its
+
+form vanishes.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+ASHLEY: 11 in addition to the–
+
+MATT: Yeah. You watch as it vanishes from the
+space. That’s where you last saw it.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+MATT: Ending its turn, Beau and Molly, you’re up.
+
+SAM: We killed it!
+
+ASHLEY: Did it bamf?
+
+TALIESIN: Bamfed.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Where’s it going to go, I’m going
+to–
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s form up, stick close.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to split the difference and go
+here.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t get so far that we can’t get to
+you if it hits you.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not, I’m going there, because I still
+want to be able to get to it. I’m going to hold a
+
+Flurry of– Can I hold a ki point action? Or can I
+hold an attack? Or can I hold an attack and then
+
+decide I want it to be a flurry of blows?
+
+MATT: You cannot make a bonus action attack on a
+held action so you cannot unfortunately make a
+
+Flurry of Blows, I don’t believe, as a held
+action.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take the bonus attack now, to do
+the ki point and hold it?
+
+MATT: No, unfortunately.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. This is balls, y'all.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Spider’s an asshole.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll hold until I see it to make an
+attack.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re holding your action until it
+appears into range. Good to know. Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sticking with everybody, and let me
+take one– where am I? Let me take like a step
+
+back and hold my action there.
+
+MATT: Okay. You step back and stumble over one of
+the crownsguard bodies that you left on the
+
+ground, but you hold yourself there, using it as
+one foot, slightly elevated platform being at the
+
+ready. You’re holding your attack action?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: That ends Molly’s go. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, shit. Okay, it’s gone, so we don’t
+know where it is?
+
+MATT: It appears to have vanished.
+
+ASHLEY: We don’t see it. Okay. I feel like we
+should get closer. I’m going to move over to
+
+Fjord.
+
+MATT: To there?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, back against the wall.
+
+LAURA: The music.
+
+MARISHA: I know.
+
+ASHLEY: (mimics the music)
+
+LAURA: On Yasha’s move.
+
+MARISHA: (electric guitar sounds)
+
+TRAVIS: (bass guitar sounds)
+
+ASHLEY: I think that’s– oh, can I do Healing
+Hands on myself?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’ll do Healing Hands on myself.
+
+MATT: As Yasha backs up against the wall,
+greatsword in one hand, you watch as she puts her
+
+arm to her chest. There’s a faint glow of very
+faint whitish energy and her wounds heal up
+
+slightly.
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck?!
+
+MARISHA: You didn’t have that, did you? You
+couldn’t do that type of shit.
+
+TRAVIS: No, she’s path of the zealot.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I think it’s because I’m–
+
+TALIESIN and ASHLEY: Stuff.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Because reasons?
+
+MATT: That finishes your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s that called, what did you use?
+
+ASHLEY: Healing Hands.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s called Princes of the Universe.
+
+SAM: Is someone going to heal Fjord?
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’m going to on my turn.
+
+SAM: Okay. Oh boy. I’ll stay put, and hold my
+attack until I can see the whites of its pincers.
+
+As a bonus action, I’ll cast Mage Hand and start
+digging around some rocks, see if there’s anything
+
+over there.
+
+MATT: Well, Mage Hand is an action to cast, so you
+can’t hold–
+
+SAM: Not anymore.
+
+MATT: Oh, no, with your legerdemain, right?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Legerdemain?
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: We’re all still figuring it out.
+
+SAM: You can use the bonus action granted by your
+cunning action to control the hand.
+
+MATT: Oh, it means once it’s already out, you can
+do that to use a bonus action. But you have to get
+
+it out.
+
+SAM: Got it. Then nevermind.
+
+MATT: So you’re holding your action there?
+
+SAM: I’m holding my attack.
+
+MATT: Good to know. Top of the round. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. How far away are they? I’m going to
+move forward. Can I get all the way to Fjord? I’m
+
+afraid to get too far away from Caleb.
+
+MATT: (counting) You can get up to him.
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t need to heal me.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to heal you.
+
+TRAVIS: If it dies, I gain seven hit points.
+
+LAURA: Okay, good. You’ll gain seven more than I
+can heal you, because I’m going to cast Cure
+
+Wounds on him!
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Yay!
+
+LAURA: Yay. Six points.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks, Jester. I owe you one.
+
+LAURA: You don’t owe me shit.
+
+MATT: Anything else you want to do? Move your
+spiritual weapon or anything?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to move my spiritual weapon in
+the middle, closer to Beau.
+
+MATT: Okay, so there?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re not considered poisoned if we got
+bit, right?
+
+MATT: No. That ends your go, Jester. Caleb and
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Because sightlines are a problem here, I
+would like to move to dead center where Jester
+
+just was, actually, so I have a clear sight on the
+chamber behind me and ahead of me.
+
+MATT: 20, 25, 30?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I can see everywhere, more or less, in
+here.
+
+MATT: Yes, you can.
+
+LIAM: I pull the diamond out from my coat and get
+ready, and I hold. As soon as I see the spider,
+
+I’m going to release Chromatic Orb.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know. That ends your turn,
+Caleb. Fjord, what are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to move closer to the group.
+(counting) I turn here and I will hold my attack.
+
+MATT: Okay. In case he comes into range.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MATT: Good to know. Okay. End of your turn? Last
+you saw it there. You watch as there’s a faint
+
+ripple in the air. You just finishing healing
+Fjord, as he runs past, you turn and smile and
+
+turn back just in time to see it, not far from
+where it vanished, appear right there.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it.
+
+LAURA: (screams)
+
+MATT: It does get a surprise strike on you, which
+has advantage. Disadvantage thanks to your last
+
+ability, so it’s just a straight attack roll.
+
+That is a natural one.
+
+LAURA: (sigh of relief)
+
+SAM: Wow!
+
+MATT: That’s okay. It will use its movement to
+move down, and go up the wall here.
+
+LAURA: It died! Yay, we killed it!
+
+MATT: If we went by those rules, you guys would’ve
+been dead a long time ago. All right, so you do
+
+get an attack of opportunity on it as you swing
+past. Go ahead and make your strike.
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+MATT: With your somewhat web-covered–
+
+LAURA: No, we got all of it off, remember?
+
+MATT: Right.
+
+TALIESIN: Slightly warm. Toasted.
+
+LAURA: 18? No, 17?
+
+MATT: 17 hits. By the way, those of you that were
+in range to attack with that held action would’ve
+
+been just Caleb and Nott. Both of you guys get
+attack–
+
+LIAM: It’s about 90 feet.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t get a ranged?
+
+MATT: You were holding your attack, you said.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Do I have to say ranged spell
+attack?
+
+MATT: You have to say what spell you’re holding.
+It’s either I’m holding an attack or I’m holding a spell.
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry. I’ve learned.
+
+MATT: Now you know.
+
+LAURA: Seven damage!
+
+MATT: Seven damage, nice.
+
+LIAM: I prepped acid on this thing and I missed
+bad. I got a total of nine, so that did not hit.
+
+MATT: A total of nein?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. No, just nine.
+
+MATT: So (fwoosh), and as you throw your orb, it
+skitters up the wall. You almost hit it, but it
+
+pulls out of the way before it shatters, the orb
+splattering acid across the stonework, burning
+
+through whatever outer layer of thick liquid has
+congealed there.
+
+SAM: From where I’m hidden to where it was when it
+appeared, how far is that?
+
+MATT: From where it appeared? That would’ve been
+40 feet from you.
+
+SAM: So I have to roll with disadvantage?
+
+MATT: Yes, you do.
+
+SAM: Ooh, not as good. 11.
+
+MATT: Goes wide, no impact, unfortunately. That
+ends the spider’s turn. Beau, Molly, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Ugh. Can I close the gap? With my 40 foot
+movement?
+
+MATT and MARISHA: (counting)
+
+MATT: It’s above you on the wall.
+
+MARISHA: Can I–
+
+SAM: Throw your throwing stars!
+
+MARISHA: Like I’m trying to get spiders out of the
+corner ceiling with a broomstick! Exactly.
+
+MATT: I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you the
+attack, you’ll have disadvantage, and if you miss,
+
+you’re prone. But I’ll give you the attack if you
+want to.
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh. I like the risk.
+
+LIAM: Worth the risk. That’s exciting.
+
+SAM: It’s impossible.
+
+MATT: There is a path that helps with that, but
+not this thing.
+
+MARISHA: Of course I do! I’m going to do the
+full– I’m like, wasp, get the wasp!
+
+MATT: All right, you leap up to get your single
+attack on it with your bo. Go for it. Roll at a
+
+disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: Disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: You got it!
+
+MARISHA: I got it! I did! I rolled a 15 and a 17!
+
+MATT: That’s pretty slick.
+
+MARISHA: So that’s 21!
+
+MATT: That hits! Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t move, don’t move!
+
+MARISHA: Better call an exterminator!
+
+LIAM: Raid!
+
+MARISHA: 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. As you leap and smack
+it in the face, it pulls up a little bit further
+
+away, screeching at the impact. It’s looking
+pretty rough. It’s still around, but that was not
+
+a positive hit for it.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have room to still get one more
+swat? Probably not.
+
+MATT: I gave you the one. You’re technically just
+out of range.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: That was part of the risk. That end your
+turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I guess so.
+
+MATT: Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to at least run up to the
+other side of Jester, just to keep us clumped a
+
+little bit. What I can do is I can do Vicious
+Mockery again. I’m going to cast Vicious Mockery
+
+and (Infernal voice) I’ll cut off your legs! Give
+it a shot. Make a roll against wisdom.
+
+SAM: He can say anything with that voice and it
+would sound awful.
+
+TALIESIN: (Infernal voice) Who ate all the
+Cracklin’ Oat Bran?
+
+SAM: (Infernal voice) Can I have a fishing rod?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Save versus wisdom?
+
+MATT: Yeah, your spell DC would be eight plus your
+proficiency, which is ten. Plus your wisdom
+
+modifier, which is what?
+
+TALIESIN: Wisdom modifier is three.
+
+MATT: Three. Yeah, that hits! Roll damage.
+
+ASHLEY: Come on. Mock him.
+
+TALIESIN: I mock him and that’s three points of
+psychic damage, and he has– really? Does it not
+
+even matter? Then he has disadvantage on the next
+attack.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: As you mock the spider to death.
+
+TALIESIN: Something about my words are just making
+his blood boil.
+
+MATT: As you screech out this phrase in
+Infernal–
+
+TALIESIN: (Infernal voice) I whisper and then I
+fire.
+
+MATT: As its legs begin to skitter upward, and as
+it tries to escape up the top of the ceiling, it
+
+loses its grip upon the top of the sewer ceiling.
+It falls, slamming on the ground next to Beau, and
+
+its legs begin to curl in. As it’s shaking, you
+see blood pouring from wounds that weren’t there
+
+before. It seems the Infernal itself has affected
+him physically from the inside. It begins to curl
+
+its legs in deeper and deeper, the sound of its
+guttural shrieking getting softer and softer–
+
+MARISHA: I turn around and go, don’t worry guys, I
+got it. Good ol’ broomstick trick. Works every time.
+
+LIAM: Put him in a mocking bag, Molly!
+
+TALIESIN: I never had it do that before.
+
+TRAVIS: I regain seven hit points.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+LAURA: No, don’t take it away. I’m going to lick
+it.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: It didn’t hit anything. It’s not even
+covered with any guts.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+ASHLEY: I go up and I give Molly a slap on the
+ass.
+
+TALIESIN: You see what I mean? These people are
+fun!
+
+ASHLEY: It’s good. That was fun.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go poke it with a sword.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go back to the halfling guy
+that’s kind of alive.
+
+SAM: I’ll come with you then.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to kill the half– no.
+
+MATT: So it is a large body. The actual thorax of
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start binding it up for
+travel.
+
+MATT: Okay. Easy enough to do. It’s legs are
+intact, and they’re sturdy enough. You bring out
+
+whatever robe you have available, and you start
+binding it and getting it in a position where it
+
+could probably be either on her staff or whatever
+else you have and carry over shoulders. You guys
+
+approach the halfling: still unconscious, the arm
+draped out from the webbing.
+
+LAURA: Does he look injured at all?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s very dark still, also.
+
+MATT: It is very dark, and there’s still this
+torch left in the center there where Yasha dropped it.
+
+LAURA: Oh shit. Can I have grabbed that as I walk
+over to him?
+
+MATT: Sure! You grab the torch and you bring it
+over. You get a close look. There’s the web mass
+
+in the corner. There’s the other bodies on the
+side, The halfling looks to be injured in the
+
+sense that it looks like they took a blow to the
+head. There’s a slight bit of blood trickle along
+
+the hairline.
+
+LAURA: Can I put my hand on his head and cast Cure
+Wounds?
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for the hit points
+regained there.
+
+LAURA: Now. 11.
+
+LIAM: Actually, since I see that Jester has this
+covered, I’m going to start burning out the dead
+
+people and rooting through their pockets and
+stuff.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll still stick with Jester, though.
+Just in case he’s–
+
+LIAM: That’s good.
+
+MATT: There’s a moment after you finish casting it
+where the halfling shakes the head. “What’s going on?”
+
+LAURA: Blessed child. You are alive. Your saviors
+have come.
+
+MATT: You see one eye is almost still glued shut
+from webbing that’s across the front of it, but
+
+he’s trying to open it. “I don’t understand.
+What’s going on?”
+
+SAM: You’re safe now!
+
+MATT: “Oh god! (panicked breathing).” He starts
+looking around, looking up at the faint bit of
+
+light now, which it’s now just passing sunset. You
+see a little bit of purple light coming through,
+
+and through the little bits of webbing, you can
+see the grate that leads outside. He goes, “I
+
+don’t know how I got here.”
+
+LAURA: You don’t know how you got down here? You
+didn’t come to the sewer on your own?
+
+MATT: “Well I– Yeah, I guess.”
+
+MARISHA: What were you doing down here?
+
+MATT: “Well, I was just trying to get somewhere
+quickly.”
+
+MARISHA: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check. You see flames
+bursting at the side. Every time, he flinches.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: 18?
+
+ASHLEY: Whisper?
+
+SAM: Whispers.
+
+TRAVIS: Far Cry 5!
+
+SAM: Far Cry 5? I’ve heard about it.
+
+TRAVIS: Fantastic multiplayer and all-new setting.
+It takes place in the United States of America.
+
+LIAM: Oh man. Full of lessons for America today.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. I even heard you could check
+it out. Ubisoft’s Far Cry 5.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, I’m just– oh god,” and he looks
+over and sees the other bodies on the wall and the
+
+webbing. He’s just, “(panicked screams) Help me!
+Please help me!”
+
+LAURA: No need to scream. We’re getting you out,
+don’t worry.
+
+LIAM: I’m only burning the dead ones! (fire
+billowing)
+
+TALIESIN: (muffled screams)
+
+SAM: I’m going to say in Halfling to the man: it’s
+okay, just calm down. Everything’s going to be
+
+fine. I start cutting him out.
+
+MATT: Okay. He nods. “Thank you,” back to you in
+Halfling. He’s beginning to cut him free. What did
+
+you say?
+
+MARISHA: Tapping into my background a little bit,
+I’m going to go: You know, I used to utilize the
+
+sewers back in the day. Real good to stay out of
+sight. Move stuff quickly.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, well it’s important when you’re an
+ale hand. You got to move product through the
+
+sewers quickly.”
+
+MARISHA: What are you moving?
+
+MATT: “Ale.”
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Do you have a key to the grates?
+
+MATT: “Not a key, but I– I have a key.”
+
+LAURA: Can you give us the key?
+
+MATT: “You have to cut me free first.”
+
+MARISHA: Before we do that, what’s your name,
+friend?
+
+MATT: “Thed.”
+
+MARISHA: Ted?
+
+MATT: “Thed.”
+
+SAM, MARISHA, and LAURA: Thed.
+
+LAURA: I thought he said “dead”.
+
+LIAM: Thed is dead, baby.
+
+LAURA: Thed, where is the key? Which pocket is it
+in?
+
+MATT: “I’ll be happy to show you once you cut me
+free.”
+
+LAURA: I can start digging. I start digging
+through his pockets.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check. At a closer
+look, too, you can see he’s got short, spiky, dark
+
+hair and a little bit of a goatee that’s trimmed
+to a point at the end of the chin. The tattoos all
+
+across the neck look like they’re swirled,
+serpentine shapes that all fold and knot together,
+
+all across the throat, from front to back, like a
+giant dark band.
+
+LAURA: That’s a tattoo, you said?
+
+MATT: It’s a tattoo, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Would I recognize that iconography or
+have heard of that? Does that mean anything?
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+LIAM: It’s a Nickelback tattoo.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Oh, nope. That’s a big nope. That’s a
+natural one.
+
+SAM: I’m going to cut him out.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you don’t. Okay. You cut him free,
+he’s like (heavy breathing).
+
+LAURA: I rolled an 11 checking through his
+pockets.
+
+MATT: You do find he’s wearing some nice,
+black/gray leather armor. He has a pretty
+
+nasty-looking shortsword. It’s been altered to be
+jagged at the edge of the blade. He has a small
+
+leather case that’s tucked in the armor. Don’t
+find a key.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Jagged at the tip.
+
+MARISHA: Jester. What’s in that leather case?
+
+SAM: Do you have the stuff? Or did you–
+
+MATT: He’s free now, as you cut him free, and he’s
+like (labored breaths). He stands up and he rights
+
+himself, and checks everything and he looks to the
+left and goes, “Um?” He points to the mass in the
+
+corner, and you see the mass that’s there. It’s
+not a series of bodies. It looks like it’s a
+
+slowly pulsing sac of some kind.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, eggs. Oh no!
+
+MATT: One of them (bursting) (skittering).
+
+MARISHA: Molly? Can you?
+
+LAURA: Kill it with fire! I Sacred Flame it.
+
+MATT: With a torch throwing and landing, and the
+Sacred Flame igniting it, you watch as this
+
+cluster begins to burn as these tiny white and
+blue spiders begin to expand out the side. Some of
+
+them make it up the sides of the wall.
+
+TRAVIS: I hate spiders. I’m fucking out.
+
+MATT: You rush up and like crush a couple of them.
+Even baby-sized, they’re about that big. They’re
+
+all coming up and they begin to burn.
+
+LAURA: Got to kill them all!
+
+MATT: You go and start burning. It appears you’ve
+got them all. Some of them seem to have burned,
+
+some of them seem to have vanished. It’s hard to
+tell.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I hear the commotion and come
+halfway over and nothing seems– they’re burning
+
+spiders.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is blithely burning over here and has
+no idea what’s going on behind him.
+
+TALIESIN: You are checking the bodies for things,
+right?
+
+LIAM: Of course I am. I’m waiting for the DM to
+fill in the blanks.
+
+TALIESIN: Well that’s fine, then.
+
+MATT: If you go to the other bodies, you get two
+sets of Crownsguard armor, and two longswords of
+
+the Crownsguard.
+
+ASHLEY: How much money was in the first two
+purses?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, the pouches that you took?
+
+MATT: Right, the total between those two was 15
+gold, 60 silver, and 20 copper.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Just keeping all that for yourself, then,
+Yasha?
+
+LIAM: That’s five bodies. I don’t know if I got
+them all, but are there any coin purses as well?
+
+MATT: You do, and you go through. It’ll take you a
+little while to go through all the bodies here, so
+
+we’ll get to see how many you get through here.
+
+LAURA: Did you say two sets of armor? Would that
+fit in the bag?
+
+MATT: Hmm?
+
+LAURA: Would that fit in the bag? Two sets of
+armor?
+
+MATT: Well, I believe it would because it is a
+volume/space thing. It’ll take up a lot of space
+
+within the– and you have two two-foot by two-foot
+spaces on the two sides, and then you have the
+
+main eight-foot cube section there, so.
+
+LAURA: Okay, we’ll bring these back to the
+Crownsguard and hopefully get some reward.
+
+MATT: You do find another pair of studded leather
+armor that has like a sea motif to it. There’s
+
+shells pressed into it, and a wave pattern on the
+edges. The person it’s attached to has a bunch of
+
+tattoos across their body as well, that insinuate
+a lot of time at sea, different names of different
+
+ships that are different points of faded on the
+body. They may have been a sailor at some point in
+
+their life and has expired under here.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I will quietly gather that up and put
+it into my bag.
+
+MATT: Okay. Well, the armor’s a full set, so
+it’ll–
+
+LIAM: Am I able to carry that? I don’t even know.
+
+MATT: Yeah, I mean, it’s a leather chest plate,
+leather arm bands and bracers, and then leg plates
+
+as well, so it’s a full set. You could probably
+fit all that into your bag if it’s the only thing
+
+that��s in your bag.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: You stuff it all in there. Beyond that,
+going through them, for the sake of brevity here,
+
+you find an additional 85 gold pieces, 210 silver,
+and 45 copper.
+
+LIAM: 85– what was it?
+
+SAM and TRAVIS: Gold.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. 85 gold.
+
+MATT: 210 silver and 45 copper.
+
+LAURA: Is everybody a greedy fuck in this game and
+we just keep whatever?
+
+LIAM: I am not telling you that I found that at
+all.
+
+LAURA: Cool.
+
+TRAVIS: He dies first.
+
+TALIESIN: We see him collecting everything,
+anyway.
+
+MATT: Yeah, while you guys are all talking to this
+guy, Caleb is going from body to body, putting
+
+everything in his pockets. He’s not being sneaky.
+
+CALEB: Yeah, but you’re not standing like right
+over, looking down. You see me feeling at the
+
+bodies.
+
+MARISHA: No, but we’re all of the same breed; we
+get what you’re doing.
+
+LIAM: You know I’m looking, but you don’t know
+what I found.
+
+TALIESIN: We know you’re going to lie about it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, because everyone is so lovely, can
+you tell me–
+
+TRAVIS: 85, 210–
+
+LIAM: 85?
+
+MATT: Gold pieces. 210 silver, and 45 copper.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Vex never lied about the loot we found.
+
+LIAM: I don’t give a fuck what Vex did.
+
+LAURA: Never once. Never once, for all the shit
+she got for being greedy, she never once lied
+
+about the loot.
+
+TALIESIN: She was a good person.
+
+SAM: Yes, but she was a horrible person.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s true.
+
+LAURA: She’s a terrible half-elf.
+
+LIAM: Vex is retired in Whitestone right now.
+She’s not here.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sensing a lingering sibling rivalry.
+
+MATT: I know. It’s carried over.
+
+MARISHA: Hanging over the table.
+
+LIAM: I’m clearly Lawful Good. Clearly.
+
+MARISHA: What’s Thed doing?
+
+MATT: Well, he’s checked all his things, and he
+goes, “Okay, I thank you all so much for your
+
+help. I really appreciate it. You’ve saved my
+life.”
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do that lean up against the
+wall thing over the top of him.
+
+MATT: Okay, as he’s doing this, he smiles. You can
+see he’s missing two teeth to the side and he has
+
+a septum piercing up in his nose that he rights
+and pulls back down again so it’s visible and he’s
+
+like, “(sniff) All right.”
+
+MARISHA: You real thankful?
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+MARISHA: Real grateful? You feel like we did you a
+good service today?
+
+MATT: “I’d happily pay you, but your friend
+already took all my money.”
+
+LAURA: I didn’t take anything from you!
+
+MARISHA: I just want one–
+
+LAURA: I didn’t take anything from his pockets.
+
+MATT: That’s what he’s saying.
+
+LAURA: (gasp)
+
+MARISHA: I just want something in return. You
+know, you provide a service, get something in
+
+return, right?
+
+MATT: “What– if I can be of service, I’d be happy
+to.”
+
+MARISHA: Who’s the Gentleman?
+
+SAM: Ooh.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, friend.
+
+TALIESIN: I heard “Gentleman.” I’m walking over.
+
+MARISHA: Oh friend, I don’t need to roll an
+insight check to know that’s bullshit.
+
+MATT: “I apologize, I don’t– I apologize. I don’t
+know what you’re talking about.”
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, was was it?
+
+TALIESIN: Who’s the Gentleman.
+
+SAM: I’m going to get closer to Thed and say in
+Thieves’ Cant–
+
+LIAM: Yes!
+
+SAM: You can trust us. We’re one of you.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Yes!
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Oh, fuck! He glances down at you, looks
+taken aback, and returns to you in Thieves’ Cant
+
+and says, “And the rest of your compatriots?”
+
+SAM: They’re cool.
+
+MATT: Switching back to Common, he goes, “Look. I
+cannot tell you anything, except for, if you want
+
+to find him, there is a place you can inquire. If
+I give you any more information and that gets
+
+around, I am deader than that spider would have
+left me.”
+
+MARISHA: All right. Where do I inquire?
+
+MATT: He sighs for a second. “There’s a dive,
+naught but five blocks from here, called The
+
+Evening Nip.”
+
+MARISHA: The Evening Nip.
+
+SAM: We’ve heard that before!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s in the letter!
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: “Don’t say his name. Just walk up to the old
+man behind the counter and mention you’d like a
+
+drink, and while you have no coin, you’d be
+willing to offer many gifts.”
+
+MARISHA: I’d like a drink–
+
+TRAVIS: I have no coin, willing to offer many
+gifts.
+
+MARISHA: No coin.
+
+MATT: “'Many gifts’ is the important part. Now, I
+hope that’s been of service, and I– as you seem
+
+to be the types who see it fit to save a person
+that you haven’t met in the bottom of a terrible
+
+sewer, I would hope that you would be kind enough
+to know that that information did not come from
+
+me, and that you’ve never seen me before in your
+entire life.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: What’s your name?
+
+LAURA: His name was Thed.
+
+TALIESIN: Of course, friend, we’ve never seen you
+before in our entire life.
+
+MATT: “As I haven’t seen you, either.”
+
+LAURA: I didn’t take anything from your pockets. I
+really didn’t.
+
+TALIESIN: Does anything about his tattoo irritate
+me?
+
+MATT: It’s not very well done.
+
+TALIESIN: You know what I mean.
+
+MATT: Yeah. No.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: You really do have like a key to the
+grates, like an extra one?
+
+MATT: “I mean– ” He looks up behind him and says,
+“I’ve got mine, but I need it for my work.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+TRAVIS: Pretty sure we can call for someone with
+our–
+
+MATT: He glances over towards Nott and says,
+“Unless I’m mistaken, it appears you have a female
+
+friend here who could probably help you get around
+that anyway.”
+
+SAM: I could try.
+
+MATT: “Anyway. I bid you all adieu.” He pulls
+his hood up over his head and his little halfling
+
+feet quickly carry him back in the direction where
+you guys travel the sewer.
+
+SAM: Watch out for poo rats!
+
+MATT: (distant yell) “I’m aware!”
+
+TRAVIS: How many of these victims were other than
+crownsguard? Any civilians or women, children?
+
+MATT: No children. One of them appears to be a
+woman in her 40s or so. A lot of them appear to be
+
+dressed in heavy leathers. They may have been
+either coming through to try to clear up parts of
+
+the sewer; some of them look very poor, and may
+have come down here in hopes of scavenging
+
+whatever had fallen down into the sewer and
+collected over time. Some of them appear to be
+
+similarly dressed as Thed, or at least have a
+somewhat skulking-type demeanor about their
+
+wares.
+
+MARISHA: Anybody have any neck tattoos that look
+like serpents?
+
+MATT: No. There are a handful that look like they
+probably have traveled this route before and got
+
+caught up in it.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, what did you find on the bodies?
+Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: No– are– go ahead.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. What did we find?
+
+LIAM: There was a bunch of weapons and armor.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+TALIESIN: And some coin.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything unique? Any unique things?
+
+TALIESIN: Why don’t we get into some daylight and
+take a look?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+LIAM: We should reconnoiter to look at what we
+have.
+
+LAURA: Anything else interesting in the room,
+outside of the bodies?
+
+MATT: Outside of the bodies? It looks like there
+is broken bits of what would have been furniture
+
+or a cart at some time that got discarded or
+shoved down here from above. Other than that, just
+
+the general refuse you’ve come across down here in
+the sewer.
+
+TALIESIN: We do have a spider body to pick.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I happen to see– am I able to see the
+guy with all the tattoos of ships and stuff?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you see him.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, cool. Do I recognize any of the names
+of ships, or any imagery?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check on that.
+
+TRAVIS: Ugh. 11.
+
+MATT: Okay. Looking about them, and what you can
+rummage through, he’s pretty much naked other than
+
+his underoos. Looking through, there’s like the
+Midnight Lorry, you don’t recognize that name at
+
+all; there’s one of them that’s the Shell Carrier,
+don’t recognize that one. There’s one name that
+
+catches your attention; it was called the Pink
+Giver, and it came through your ports at one
+
+point. You remember it coming into port, you were
+paid to take care of it, offload things, back on–
+
+The name itself was derived by a wooden carving at
+the front bow of the ship that was of a mermaid
+
+with her arms extended that was gifting a human
+heart that was painted with this vibrant pink
+
+color that was its signifying visual. Yeah. Other
+than that, nothing particular about it, just that
+
+you were like, “Oh yes, I know that ship.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Is the Broken Howl on there?
+
+LAURA: Aww.
+
+MATT: It’s on the back.
+
+LIAM: Throwback!
+
+ASHLEY: That looks like a piece of shit ship.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: (sings) Continuity. Roll for
+continuity.
+
+MARISHA: Beau turns to Nott. Hey girl.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: That little code you were talking.
+
+SAM: (clicks tongue)
+
+MARISHA: See any of that written around these
+walls, or something that looks similar to it?
+
+SAM: I can look around. Thieves’ Cant is a written
+or spoken thing?
+
+LAURA: Both.
+
+MATT: It’s almost universally spoken, and as a
+language it’s used for extended ciphers. Make an
+
+investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Can I help him out, see if I spot
+anything? Give him an assisted roll?
+
+MATT: You can, if you want to assist him.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MATT: You have advantage on it because she’s
+helping you.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. Glancing about, you can see behind the
+rungs, there’s about a two-inch gap across the
+
+wall. There is a very, very faint scratch into it
+that says, although not referring directly to
+
+yours, it says “Money pot.”
+
+MARISHA: Money pot?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: (whispers) Money pot? (louder) It says,
+“Money pot!”
+
+MATT: Which catches you off-guard, because you’re
+like, “That���s one of our–”
+
+SAM: That’s one of our one-shots!
+
+MARISHA: What, what?
+
+SAM: That’s one of our things, but that’s not– it
+can’t– it’s not us. We weren’t down here before,
+
+were we?
+
+TRAVIS: Insight check.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I wonder if this grate leads up into the
+Tri-Spires, then. Maybe it means lots of rich
+
+people are up here.
+
+SAM: Maybe. Maybe this is the name– maybe they’ve
+named all the entrances and exits or something
+
+like that.
+
+LAURA: Maybe. Easy pickings.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe they buried something here.
+
+LAURA: If they don’t allow the criminals in, then
+they’d be real easy to pickpocket, because no one
+
+would expect it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: One way to find out.
+
+SAM: Should we try to jimmy this lock and get
+out?
+
+LAURA: Well, we can probably call up. We have the
+writ.
+
+SAM: Okay. Well, do we need to get the spider
+first?
+
+LAURA: Well, it’s all tied up. Me and Yasha can
+probably–
+
+ASHLEY: We got it, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll put a little bundle on my staff as
+well.
+
+LIAM: Jester, will you come look at my eyes? They
+feel a little bloodshot, I’m not feeling well
+
+after my encounter with the rats.
+
+LAURA: Sure. I put my hands on either side of his
+face. Can I see anything weird?
+
+LIAM: Wait, come over here.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m walking over with this, too.
+
+LIAM: Come over here. I walk away from the group.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know if she follows me or not.
+
+LAURA: I do, I do.
+
+LIAM: There was gold in there. I would like you to
+have it. It’s more than I had before. Here is 100
+
+gold were on those people, so you take it because
+I know that you need money.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, I don’t–
+
+LIAM: I know that you need money, and I’m very,
+you know, look at this. And I do a little joke.
+
+LAURA: Those are really, really strong.
+
+LIAM: That’s sad and funny at the same time. You
+carry the gold, because I can’t carry it all.
+
+LAURA: Okay, but I’m not keeping it just for me,
+you know.
+
+LIAM: That’s fine.
+
+LAURA: It’s for both of us.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s why you wanted money, I assume,
+from your mother, was to help us out in the
+
+position we’re in.
+
+LAURA: Of course.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, so you take this, you’re a better, you
+know, I’m always thinking about things, and I’m
+
+not very good with amounts and money. So you carry
+it.
+
+LAURA: Caleb. Thank you. And I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: You know, I just had a really bad day today,
+that’s all it was. I guess I’m sorry as well.
+
+LAURA: Do you need curing, though? Because your
+eyes do look bloodshot.
+
+LIAM: No, that was, I’m fine. I’m going to stare
+at the wall because I don’t know how to deal with
+
+attention very well.
+
+MATT: While this is happening, what are you guys
+doing?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m waiting for them to break up, and I
+suppose we’re packing the spider up to bring topside.
+
+ASHLEY: I really hide the money that I found.
+
+SAM: I’m taking at least one button off of every
+single person in the–
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do. You have quite a
+collection going.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just waiting.
+
+MATT: You guys have reconvened, you’ve gathered
+your things, the spider has been– all the legs
+
+have been pulled up and wrapped and you have
+either Beau’s staff or something else to lift it
+
+with on both sides, because it’s pretty heavy,
+it’s going to take two of you to carry.
+
+LAURA: All right, we’ll carry it.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: It would have to be you two, it’s pretty
+strong. The two of you lift it.
+
+ASHLEY: Are we the strongest?
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, yes.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So where are you guys going?
+
+LAURA: Because you have a big lollipop to carry.
+
+SAM: We’ve got to go up.
+
+LAURA: Up these things, into the money pot.
+
+MATT: Okay. So. Who’s going first?
+
+TRAVIS: Nott?
+
+LAURA: Well, somebody that can talk to the
+guards.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Nott.
+
+SAM: I don’t know, guys. All right, I’ll try.
+(shouting) Hello? We’re stuck down here, and we
+
+want to come up. Let us out of the sewers. Let us
+up!
+
+MATT: As you climb up, Nott, and look through, the
+sun has set, and the night has gone purple to
+
+dark, navy blue as night has taken it. You glance
+up through and you’re looking out into a dark
+
+alleyway. You see two sides of an alley, shaded
+and dark. About maybe 25 feet ahead, it opens up
+
+into a fine cobblestone road. You can see fine
+buildings across the way, you see the lanterns are
+
+light in the center of the town. You have not been
+to this part of the town, but it’s pretty well
+
+kept, and no one seems to be immediately around to
+hear you.
+
+LAURA: Is it locked?
+
+MATT: It is locked.
+
+LAURA: Can you pick the lock?
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a lock picking check.
+
+SAM: What is that, sleight of hand?
+
+MATT: No, it’s your thieves’ tools, so your
+proficiency bonus plus your dex bonus.
+
+SAM: Dex bonus is four, proficiency is three, plus
+12 is–
+
+MATT: Well, two, isn’t it?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I think it’s just two right now.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s just two? Okay.
+
+MATT: It’d be six.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18. It takes a moment, and you have to reach
+around the other side and it opens up, and the
+
+bars push open. The gap here, into the back of
+this alleyway, is about two feet tall. Each of you
+
+can get out comfortably. That spider is going to
+need some squeezing.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll give it a push.
+
+SAM: We can move it up first.
+
+MATT: You guys, one by one, get up back topside.
+You manage to push it through. It damages the
+
+body, parts of it break and slide off, it’s not
+designed to fill through that space, but it’s
+
+still mostly intact.
+
+MARISHA: I’m imagining the Play-doh fun
+factories.
+
+MATT: Not quite that bad, but it definitely
+doesn’t look as pretty on the other side.
+
+TALIESIN: I hang back for a second, and I very
+quickly, gently, socially pin Caleb to the wall.
+
+Face to face, as awkwardly close as I can get.
+
+LIAM: I am definitely not looking you in the eye.
+
+TALIESIN: No, you’re not. Hey, Caleb. I’m fine if
+you skim something off the top, that’s fair, but
+
+be clever about it. Just distribute 60 or 70
+percent of what you find, okay? Good boy. Give him
+
+a little slap on the face, and then I go up.
+
+LIAM: Nothing from me.
+
+MATT: So you all eventually gather up at the top,
+street side. It’s completely dark, the night sky
+
+is above you, you can see the warm lantern light
+across the various street intersections, and along
+
+the path in front of the various buildings. You
+definitely recognize this, Jester. This is indeed
+
+the Tri-Spires district.
+
+LAURA: Hey you guys, this is where my hotel is.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Well, wasn’t the plan to have a, what
+did you call it?
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) Room party!
+
+LIAM: What time of the day is it?
+
+MATT: It is night, it is freshly night.
+
+LIAM: But what time of the day is it, because I
+know.
+
+TALIESIN: Party time.
+
+LIAM: Very, very close to what time it is. I know
+sundown, sunup.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s sundown. I’d say with the time it
+took you to scavenge the bodies, about 30 or 40
+
+minutes after the sun’s set completely.
+
+LIAM: What time does the sun set?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh Jesus Christ. Garmin over here.
+
+LAURA: Are you trying to figure out if the stores
+are still open?
+
+LIAM: Does it look dark? Of course I am.
+
+MARISHA: We can’t ask Siri here, we don’t know.
+
+LIAM: That’s the feat I took. It’s Siri. Does it
+look like stores are open? That’s all I’m asking.
+
+MATT: Yeah, probably. I mean, in this district,
+shops are still open past sundown for a little
+
+bit, but the later in the evening it gets, many of
+them close down. Some shops stay open later, you
+
+don’t know.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go to this room party you are talking
+about.
+
+SAM: Wait, to get the spider inside the hotel,
+we’ll need a clever disguise for it. A hat, a
+
+beard, perhaps.
+
+LAURA: Good call. I’ll get out my disguise kit and
+put a mustache on the spider.
+
+LIAM: Also, Nott, mask up for sure, yeah? For
+sure. Maybe earmuffs, it’s very cold.
+
+SAM: I could do a spell and make myself look like
+someone else.
+
+LIAM: That did not work very well for me several
+hours ago, I think maybe you want to use tangible
+
+things here. Use the earmuffs, use the hat, use
+the mask.
+
+SAM: Mask and earmuffs should make me look just
+perfect.
+
+LIAM: You also have a hood, so it’s nighttime,
+with the hood up, in the dark, yeah?
+
+SAM: I like it.
+
+LAURA: It’s really bright and shiny in the hotel,
+though.
+
+TRAVIS: If I may, you raise a good point, Nott. If
+we for some reason get caught being where we’re
+
+not supposed to, I think that writ only allows us
+to kill this beast and return it for the coin.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’re not supposed to be here.
+
+TRAVIS: I would not want to gamble with our reward
+of 700 gold. Perhaps we should leave and collect
+
+our reward and then find our revelries elsewhere.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, to be fair, we know how to get
+here through the sewers now, we can always come back.
+
+TRAVIS: This is a good point.
+
+LAURA: Should we just make it straight–
+
+MARISHA: Make a beeline?
+
+LAURA: Just go straight and just stay.
+
+TRAVIS: We can walk.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, let’s go straight out and leave and
+go to the Crownsguard.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the King’s Hall.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do it.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should shut the gate up and then
+lock it.
+
+SAM: Good idea.
+
+LAURA: So they don’t know.
+
+MATT: So you remark it, you close it. You guys
+step out into the main street, and you’ve traveled
+
+through here before, you immediately think, oh
+that’s where the nearest exit gate in the
+
+direction of the hall would be. You guys get about
+a block before two of the patrolling crownsguard
+
+stop and look at this troupe of people walking
+with a giant, brutalized spider, bright white and blue.
+
+TRAVIS: Dinner.
+
+MATT: Immediately jogs up, both of them. “Excuse
+me, what are you doing here?”
+
+LAURA: Oh yes, don’t worry, we’re staying at the
+Pillow Trove, but we have this very beautiful writ.
+
+MATT: Takes the writ, and they both look at it.
+The other one has his hand on the side of his
+
+blade, each looking very closely at each of you.
+And you are a motley lot. Going through all of
+
+you, sneering a bit in the direction of Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I have a hood on.
+
+MATT: Yeah. A bit frightened at the vision of
+Yasha, and confused at the sight of Mollymauk. He
+
+finishes reading the writ. “Okay, very well, but
+we will escort you to the gates and you can
+
+"continue this on to the hall.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you!
+
+MATT: “How did you get this in here?”
+
+LAURA: Oh, we are really powerful.
+
+MARISHA: We’re the Mighty Nein.
+
+LAURA: We killed it! We took care of the monster
+problem.
+
+MATT: Looks back at the other guard, and they
+share a brief glance. “Right, very well. Let us
+
+"leave, then.” They escort you towards the
+entrance. The opening gate where you guys had
+
+passed through, you move through and out into the
+Interstead Sprawl, at the exact gates where you
+
+guys had entered, or you had entered, and you had
+attempted the night before.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, on the way there, too, I also turn to
+one of these guards and say, excuse me, could you
+
+point me where we are, right now, which way to the
+Nestled Nook from here. You’ve heard of this bookstore?
+
+MATT: “I didn’t, well, the Nestled Nook, did you
+say?”
+
+LIAM: You don’t have to pretend with me, it’s
+fine.
+
+MATT: He points over that way, he goes, “To the
+south side of the Silken Terrace, look for the
+
+"small greenish hut-looking building.”
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: We’re going to clean up, we’ll be back.
+This is not normally how we dress, ugh, we were in
+
+the sewers.
+
+MATT: They escort you out. (laughs) Get you
+quickly out of the district carrying a giant,
+
+bloodied, awful-looking spider. As you’re making
+your way, some of the folks that are walking
+
+through start gasping at the sight, and whispering
+to each other, pointing. Some begin to approach,
+
+and somebody else grabs their shoulder, and pulls
+them back. You become this slow-moving sight
+
+through this district.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, Mighty Nein, stay back. Nein.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right, you guys eventually make your way
+back to the hall.
+
+LIAM: You know, I grew up with this language.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So you’re outside the King’s Hall. As you
+approach, some of the guards rush up to you and,
+
+“Hail! What do you carry and bring here to the–
+What is this thing?”
+
+TALIESIN: These papers? Oh, that’s a spider.
+
+LAURA: The evil monster that was killing
+everything.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you might want to send someone to
+collect your dead too, by the by.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Quite a few.
+
+MATT: You bring him in. Some more of the guards
+begin to gather around and then Voloshin is pulled
+
+from his interior office somewhere. As he steps
+forward he says, “All right, they tell me–oh,
+
+"goodness me! That’s a beastie.” He tugs on the end
+of his chin beard for a second. “So this is it,
+
+"this is the one?”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed, in fact it would turn invisible
+when it wasn’t trying to stick its fangs into all
+
+of our gang.
+
+MATT: (shouting) “Someone wake up Cloen!”
+
+MARISHA: Who the hell is Cloyde?
+
+MATT: “Cloen, and he was the one survived–”
+
+MARISHA: Cloyde?
+
+MATT: Cloen.
+
+ASHLEY: Cloyne?
+
+MARISHA: Cloine.
+
+MATT: Clo-en.
+
+MARISHA: That is not what I heard at all.
+
+TRAVIS: With that accent, all those letters
+disappear.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s also an egg sac that got taken
+care of.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, lots and lots and lots of baby
+spiders.
+
+MATT: He goes to the other guards, “Go down there,
+double check, make sure everything is good, go.”
+
+Eventually you watch as another guard is brought
+in. He has a night shirt on, and he looks
+
+like he was woken up, he’s a little drowsy.
+“What’s going on, I– oh! That thing, that’s the
+
+"thing!” He looks immediately scared. He
+goes, “Great, send him back to bed. Well, that’s
+
+"what we needed.”
+
+MARISHA: Send him back to bed? You should let that
+guy go for leave for medical absence, that’s
+
+rough, man.
+
+MATT: “You look like just the person I would take
+advice from when it comes to administrating my people.”
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t punch him, don’t, no.
+
+MARISHA: No, he’s got a fair point. I’ll give him
+that.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t look like an administrator, I
+mean, that’s actually almost a compliment.
+
+MARISHA: You know, yeah, it’s fair.
+
+MATT: “I’m impressed, I will go ahead and retrieve
+your payments to the Mighty Seven.”
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: Nein.
+
+TRAVIS: We lost two in the sewers.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry to hear that, that’s terrible.”
+
+TALIESIN: Extra pay would soften the blow.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah. I’m moderately okay at this! Oh
+no!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, come on! Oh, it’s not too bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, deception, where the fuck is it? Oh,
+it’s 11.
+
+MATT: He goes, “That’s really too bad. Anyway,
+I’ll be right back.”
+
+LAURA: We have armor too, of some of your fallen
+people, will you reward us for that, thank you!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you can buy it back for us or we
+can go pawn it, your choice.
+
+MATT: “That is property of the Crown, thank you
+very much.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, unfortunately, it’s property in her
+bag right now, and it’s real tough to get out of
+
+that bag.
+
+LAURA: Beau!
+
+SAM: Don’t tell them about the bag.
+
+LAURA: Stop it, we’re about to get our reward,
+stop being a shithead right now.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, fair.
+
+MATT: “If you would be as kind to remember these
+fallen soldiers who protect you and the people of
+
+"this city, by delivering unto us the armor and
+weaponry that they had been lost with, I would be
+
+"happy to go forward with delivering your reward.”
+
+TRAVIS: Who picked up all those items, anyway?
+
+LAURA: I have them. Here’s two sets of armor.
+
+MATT: Two of the guards collect them.
+
+LAURA: And two extra helmets.
+
+LIAM: Side note: I did not come in this building.
+I’m hanging back and giving Identify a whirl on
+
+what’s in my bag. That other armor. Outside.
+
+SAM: Ooh.
+
+TALIESIN: Travis will never see that card.
+
+MATT: He comes back. They bring a small chest.
+
+SAM: The card that says “give to Travis.”
+
+MATT: “700 gold pieces. Hand me the writ, please.
+Thank you very much, and I appreciate that,” and
+
+he sets it out and hands it to you. “So. You seem
+able-bodied. You’ve pulled through on something
+
+"where few have been able to. If you’re looking for
+more work, I’m sure we’ll have things. Bit light
+
+"at the moment, but where can we find you, if we’re
+looking for you?”
+
+TRAVIS: We’re staying over at the–
+
+LAURA: Leaky Tap.
+
+TRAVIS: Although some of us were taking up at a
+room at the–
+
+LAURA: At the Pillow Trove, yes.
+
+MATT: (laughing) “Of course you do. Leaky Tap,
+good to know. All right, now shove off.”
+
+LAURA: What does that mean, “of course you do?”
+
+MATT: Well, of course you do.
+
+ASHLEY: She has a room there.
+
+MATT: Of course she does.
+
+LAURA: I do have a room there! I pull out my key.
+I have a room.
+
+MATT: Ah. Fair play. Now, shove off.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know why it mattered.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: 700 gold.
+
+MATT: As the Herald turns and Voloshin’s there,
+the guards gather the armor and the weapons and stuff.
+
+LAURA: Just the armor. I didn’t give back the
+swords.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know.
+
+MARISHA: Nice.
+
+ASHLEY: Stick it to the man.
+
+MARISHA: Hell yeah!
+
+MATT: A voice comes through the hall and goes,
+“Wait. I’d like to meet them.” Voloshin stops and
+
+goes, “Of course, Lawmaster.” He steps back and,
+from around the side of the hall, from one of the
+
+doors on the left side of the building, a human
+woman comes through, in her early 60s. Once-brown
+
+hair has turned mostly gray and shoulder-length,
+it’s curled up a bit into a soft bob on the sides.
+
+She’s older, her face is weathered and has seen
+some time. She’s wearing robes of gold and white,
+
+but they seem to be not ceremonial, or at least worn
+enough to the point where they look like they’re worn for
+
+comfort. She steps forward, and she has these warm
+brown eyes that peek through this face. “Sorry to
+
+"bother all of you. Word just came to me that you
+were successful in taking care of this beast in
+
+"the sewers. I am Lawmaster Orentha and I just
+wanted to extend my thanks. It’s not often that
+
+"folks are willing to go to lengths and put their
+lives on the line for the honor of those fallen of
+
+"the Crownsguard, and those within the Hall of the
+King, so I just wanted to say I appreciate that.”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. We appreciate the law in this
+town, and the services you provide. You can lean
+
+on us for any further needs you might have.
+
+MATT: “The Crown appreciates it, the people of the
+city appreciate it, and I appreciate it. Thank
+
+"you.” She turns around and shuffles back into the
+hallway. Everyone goes about their business again
+
+and begins shoving you off towards the door.
+
+LAURA: She seemed really nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Why did all those people want to rebel
+against her?
+
+MARISHA: She’s still a part of the crownsguard.
+She’s still a part of the system.
+
+SAM: She seems nice, though.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, they’re nice individually
+sometimes, but they’re still a part of a shitty
+
+whole. A real shithole.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: “A shitty hole.”
+
+SAM: There’s not a lot of shades of gray in your
+world, are there? It’s just shit, or not shit.
+
+MARISHA: It’s been a long day.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughs) “A shitty hole.”
+
+MATT: What’s the casting time on Identify again?
+
+LIAM: As a ritual, it’s 11 minutes.
+
+MATT: You guys would be exiting the building just
+as you’ve finished that process. You complete it,
+
+take a moment to think it over, and you hear them
+all exiting and talking to themselves, as they’re
+
+ribbing Beau on the way out. You quickly gather
+your things.
+
+MARISHA: Look, I don’t mean to have resting bitch
+face, okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but it hasn’t changed at all.
+
+MARISHA: I’m working on it.
+
+TRAVIS: If anything, later in the day it gets
+worse. I’m just letting you know.
+
+LIAM: It’s not so much restive as active.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, it’s like working bitch face.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool.
+
+LIAM: The bag’s closed. You don’t see shit.
+
+MARISHA: You’re real quick.
+
+LIAM: I heard you coming. You’re loud. You’re a
+lot. And that’s Liam to Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: Oh honey, I know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Are we each taking 100 gold?
+
+LAURA: Yes, 100 gold. I was going to wait
+until we got somewhere private to do it, but sure.
+
+Everyone take 100 gold.
+
+TALIESIN: Look at that. That’s brilliant.
+
+SAM: We did it, and we never have to do another
+adventure again. Right?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know about you, I’ve got goals.
+
+LIAM: Campaign three, next week.
+
+MATT: Yup. That was it, thank you for watching.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m working towards something.
+
+SAM: Towards something? What?
+
+TALIESIN: Something.
+
+SAM: What?!
+
+TALIESIN: Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: What’s the plan now?
+
+LAURA: We all smell like poop!
+
+LIAM: To go to this place?
+
+ASHLEY: Bathhouse?
+
+LIAM: No, we are going to The Pillow House, ja?
+The Pillow Trove? The Pillow Place?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but we should probably get cleaned
+up, because they’re just going to stop us the minute we
+
+get inside. Should we go and see Pumat Sol, and
+see if he’ll make us clean?
+
+TRAVIS: We do have some extra coin. Maybe he’s got
+some fancier shit to buy.
+
+LIAM: Also, as long as we’re in here– I couldn’t
+get in earlier, but we’re here now– there is a
+
+stop. I wanted you to go with me.
+
+LAURA: We’re not in the Tri-Spires anymore.
+
+LIAM: Where are we now?
+
+MATT: You guys are back at the King’s Hall, back
+in the Interstead Sprawl.
+
+LIAM: That’s a bummer.
+
+MARISHA: We got to shower.
+
+TRAVIS: For someone who knows the exact time
+of night, you are shit with directions.
+
+LIAM: That’s up to him, not me.
+
+MATT: I thought I was pretty clear. Everyone else
+got it.
+
+LIAM: Liam is very different than Caleb.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+MARISHA: You know memory is different than
+being able to tell the time of day by the sun, right?
+
+LIAM: Hm? No, I remember everything that happens
+in the last month. I don’t, Caleb does. I have a
+
+Clippy. I have a magic Clippy.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s fine, but time of day.
+
+LIAM: Time of day, I know. That’s part of the
+feat. I know the hour of the day.
+
+MARISHA: That’s bananas. You should be able to
+look at the sun and say, “oh, six.”
+
+LIAM: I am so cheating by following the rules in
+the book.
+
+MATT: I know. Right now it’s close to 8:30, 9:00.
+It’s still early evening-ish.
+
+TALIESIN: Dinner, and bad decisions, and
+cleanliness would be great.
+
+LAURA: We have to get not stinky before we eat,
+okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Agreed. Should we head back, clean up?
+
+SAM: Sounds good.
+
+MATT: You guys, easy enough, find your way back to
+The Leaky Tap, where you can utilize the washroom
+
+to get yourselves back to a personable state.
+
+LIAM: On the stroll: Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah?
+
+LIAM: I want to talk to you about how that went
+back there. Can we walk alone for a minute?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, if you’d like.
+
+LIAM: Let’s drag back. Two things. One is, I
+didn’t bring it up, even though maybe Beauregard
+
+knows, but I found something in there that I think
+is up your alley. I found some armor, beyond just
+
+crownsguard armor, down there. I mean, listen, my
+friend. You spit out salt water. You’ve got a
+
+sword that’s covered in fucking anemones and
+shit.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not repeating that word.
+
+LIAM: This armor is like the Little Mermaid armor.
+It’s all for you. I found it, but I would like to
+
+trade it for you. Yeah, you have that glove, and I
+know I handed it over willingly just yesterday,
+
+but I have a checkered past and an interesting
+history with flame. Fire. There’s no real reason.
+
+You’d be very good with that glove, but I feel
+like I would like to have that glove, and I would
+
+love for you to have this armor. I took a look at
+it while you guys were inside, and it would allow
+
+you to move freely in the ocean or in rivers or
+lakes, underwater, and keep you safe in water.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow. Wish I had that before. Yeah, I think
+a trade would be fine, but I’ll trade you for a
+
+story of why your past is so checkered with flame.
+You seem to trust in me enough to tell me about it.
+
+LIAM: I don’t trust you yet. I don’t trust any of
+these people yet, except for– No, I don’t trust
+
+any of these people yet.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s too bad.
+
+LIAM: Ja. I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve
+harmed people. Not in a long time. You know, I
+
+thought I was going to be something, someday, a
+long time ago, and now I don’t. Oh, god. Ask me
+
+again in a couple of days. I will prepare an
+answer that is better than this for you, I promise.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. You know, we’ve all harmed people,
+but I hope that you will learn to trust me, in
+
+time, and I appreciate you sharing that. Here, I’m
+fairly certain that you will do far more damage
+
+with this than my shitty attempt did.
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. Thanks for the armor. What does
+it look like?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: It’s a darker gray, but elements of where
+it’s been pressed in with leather scrolling,
+
+designed to look almost like waves curling on the
+outer parts of the different leather plates, have
+
+a very faint turquoise inlay color on the inside
+that you can only see when it’s directly lit. It
+
+looks like a very beautiful set of leather armor.
+There’s no arms to it, other than the bracer
+
+plates right there, there’s no sleeve. There you
+go. It’s got an arm guard and a bracer there,
+
+shoulder piece, the torso portion, a couple of
+plates that go over that, and some leg guards.
+
+TRAVIS: All good things. Thank you for this.
+
+LIAM: Thank you. No, you’ve go to go higher.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you’re welcome.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t want to interrupt your “broment.”
+
+LIAM: Oh, hi. You want to be part of the bro
+moment? Or a Beau moment?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not here. I am not here.
+
+LIAM: I thought you were, I thought you’d walked
+up.
+
+LAURA: Are we going to bed, or are we what?
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to get clean first, because
+good god, we’re going to clear out that fucking
+
+tavern.
+
+MATT: We’ll say you got clean for the expediency
+of the story. We don’t have to roleplay through
+
+your bathing individually.
+
+TRAVIS: But Matt–
+
+MATT: Unless you really want to. Always stop me if
+you want to have a moment.
+
+LIAM: We went to the bathhouse to get clean?
+
+MATT: No, you went back to The Leaky Tap.
+
+LIAM: By the way, part of the reason I didn’t wash
+up at The Leaky Tap is because, in medieval times,
+
+they didn’t have baths. I thought, this isn’t the
+Sheraton, they don’t have a bath.
+
+LAURA: We’re pretending that there’s a bath.
+
+MATT: This isn’t medieval times. In the fantasy
+world, it’s a weird mixture of different time
+
+periods, and when I say they have a washroom, I
+mean it’s a basin with water that is replaced
+
+every couple hours that people communally come up
+and wash in. It’s not the cleanest water, and it’s
+
+probably been used by other people as well, and if
+you bathe fully in it, it might be changed before
+
+the next two or three people use it.
+
+LIAM: I was under the assumption that you had to
+be de Rolo level to have a bath in your house.
+
+MATT: In your house. They have one washroom for
+the multitude of rooms the entire tavern has, and
+
+the water is changed every few hours, maybe.
+That’s what I’m saying. But it’s functional.
+
+LAURA: That’s why we should have gone to Pumat
+Sol’s.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s why people have bathhouses, to
+clean up.
+
+SAM: When Fjord’s taking a bath, I’m going to go
+through his stuff and try to find his letter.
+
+LAURA: His letter?
+
+SAM: The letter for the Solstryce Academy.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a stealth check.
+
+SAM: Not good. 15.
+
+MATT: 15?
+
+Would you have taken your stuff in with
+you?
+
+TALIESIN: Or would I still be in the room?
+
+MATT: Molly would probably still be in the room.
+
+SAM: I got to stealth past Molly, or get him out
+of the room.
+
+MATT: You do. Make a perception check, Molly.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m certainly not trying to hide it.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s call that a 20.
+
+MATT: You watch as Nott slowly creeps into the
+room, heading over towards Fjord’s pack.
+
+SAM: Ooh.
+
+TALIESIN: Whatcha doing?
+
+SAM: (yells)
+
+There’s no liquor in here, oh boy, I better
+go down to the bar.
+
+TALIESIN: What were you looking for?
+
+SAM: Nothing. Liquor.
+
+TALIESIN: Were you looking for this? I hold up a
+folded piece of paper.
+
+SAM: (gasps)
+
+TALIESIN: What will you give me for it?
+
+SAM: I’ll give you a whole gold piece.
+
+TALIESIN: No, something– I don’t want money, I
+want something, give me something.
+
+SAM: Two gold pieces!
+
+TALIESIN: Not gold pieces. What do you have?
+
+SAM: Let me look–
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I have a vial of acid.
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: What is this?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a blank piece of paper.
+
+SAM: Ah, fuck you!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Maybe it’s invisible ink.
+
+TALIESIN: I hand back the acid. Don’t try and go
+through his stuff, you’re just going to get caught.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: What did we talk about grumpy people?
+
+SAM: You’re right, he’s not very grumpy. He should
+be. If I barfed up salt water every morning I
+
+would be grumpy.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe if he spends more time around Beau
+he’ll get grumpier.
+
+SAM: You know what, I think he is grumpy, but he
+stands next to Beau so much that he looks happy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Grumpy-ass wingman makes me look better in
+comparison.
+
+MATT: I mean.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a fair point. I stand up. Don’t
+go through my things, I know everything I have.
+
+And I walk out the door. And I walk by him. She’s
+going through your stuff, by the way.
+
+TRAVIS: Who? Which one?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve already walked away.
+
+TRAVIS: I shuffle in with like a towel. Nott! What
+the fuck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Get out!
+
+SAM: I’m sorry!
+
+TRAVIS: Shoo! Shoo!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Son of a bitch!
+
+TALIESIN: I am downstairs having a drink.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. You finish your baths, you all
+convene down in the tavern. Yeah. When you guys
+
+come down there and begin to reconvene, about two
+tables away you see, sitting alone with a tankard,
+
+a familiar dwarven figure to both Beau and Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, wait.
+
+MATT: Ulog, who you had met before.
+
+SAM: Ulog?
+
+MATT: Ulog, with a “G”.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, Ulog! Not “lok”?
+
+SAM: The dwarf, from the Knights of Requital.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, with the buzzed head.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you watch as you guys approach and as
+soon as you all gather at the table, he gets up
+
+and walks over.
+
+MARISHA: He was the one who was super not-cool
+with us being there, super angry.
+
+MATT: He seemed to be, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Wife Illiana, into it!
+
+MATT: He walks behind where Fjord and Beau are and
+goes, “Don’t mean to bother you, but if I could
+
+have a moment of your time, I’d like to talk.”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, man.
+
+MATT: “Excuse us.” He leads you guys back to where
+the cellar is.
+
+TRAVIS: (quietly) Don’t talk.
+
+MATT: You guys head back, he nods over towards
+your dragonborn bartender, gives him a nod, walks
+
+past, leads you down to the same cellar, it’s dark
+in there. There’s no light, but he lights a hooded
+
+lantern as you enter and it gives this low,
+mysterious atmosphere in the shadows as he spins
+
+around and goes,
+
+“I’ve been watching you a bit. You’re a curious
+lot. More of you than came to the meeting. Five
+
+more. Did you– and please, be honest, I’m good at
+telling otherwise– did you reveal any of our
+
+sentiments to your– of our moot to your
+companions?”
+
+MARISHA: No we did not.
+
+MATT: “Went and saw you come back to town with
+this spider-beast you had on your shoulders, now
+
+that’s– take it you’re pretty good with a sword,
+maybe? With a bow? Experienced? What’s your skill
+
+sets, if I might ask, beyond just being curious?”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we come from all sorts of different
+backgrounds. I happen to be very handy at sea,
+
+know my way around a merchant area. Beau?
+
+MARISHA: I consider being curious a pretty high
+skill set, but since you’re asking beyond that.
+
+I’m pretty good with this here bo. Pretty good
+fighter. Named Beau. It’s a little redundant, to
+
+be totally honest.
+
+MATT: “That’s a little strange, not going to lie.”
+
+MARISHA: It’s kind of obnoxious.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+MARISHA: Sometimes it irritates me.
+
+MATT: “Understood.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Curse upon ye who made that decision for
+you.”
+
+MARISHA: Can’t pick them.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “So you can move quickly, without a ruckus,
+you say?”
+
+TRAVIS: At times, we can be quite quiet.
+
+MATT: “And your friends, do they share our
+sentiments?”
+
+TRAVIS: I would say it’s safe to say that they
+don’t have sentiments opposed to yours.
+
+MARISHA: Indifference is a pretty strong
+sentiment.
+
+MATT: (sighing) “Listen. If you indeed have a
+heart for goodness in this world, and you want to
+
+make a difference, we’re moving on to something
+soon that I think we could use your aid on. You
+
+and your companions. Blast, if you need payments,
+I’ve got coin I can muster, and I see you do work
+
+for coin. I have few others of us who can chip in
+as well. Other than myself, most of the Knights of
+
+Zadash are unskilled in the ways of the arm. We’re
+willing to raise a voice, but not much of a fist,
+
+or backing up a word with strength. I’m willing to
+make it worth your time.”
+
+“You don’t have to answer now. Tomorrow at
+midnight, me and a few others from the group, the
+
+decision makers, we’re meeting back down here. If
+you’re in, bring your friends, we can all talk.
+
+Give you more information about what’s going on,
+and you can say yes or no at your leisure. But I
+
+think we have a chance to really do something good
+in this city. To change part of the status quo. To
+
+root out some of the unworthy at the top. Think on
+it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Just letting you know that coin always
+helps, but we did see the posting outside the
+
+King’s Hall about uprisings against the Empire. It
+seems the heat on your group might be quite intense.
+
+MATT: “We’re not against the Empire. It protects
+us. There are good things about it. What we’re
+
+against are the people that abuse the system.
+There are a handful in this town and their time is up.”
+
+TRAVIS: What cancers are you looking to remove? I
+would tell you that tomorrow night, the devil lies
+
+in the details, and that will depend.
+
+MATT: “Your curiosity is piqued. Come by. We’ll
+talk.”
+
+MARISHA: What makes you think that now is the
+right time for all of this?
+
+MATT: “Well, we’ve been talking for a very long
+time, and there is a shift coming that we want to
+
+ride the wave of. I’ll let Dolan tell you the
+details tomorrow. Anyway.” He snuffs the lantern.
+
+“Good night.”
+
+TRAVIS: Good night.
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) Oh god, stubbed my toe!
+
+TRAVIS: Wow. That was really good. Like, you
+didn’t act like a total shitfuck.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks. I was trying to not show my
+emotions on my face.
+
+TRAVIS: Whatever it was, yeah, lock it in. That
+was great. Really nice.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, thank you. I’m trying to get better
+at it. Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: That was promising.
+
+MARISHA: What do you think?
+
+TRAVIS: About that? I mean, shit, I can’t really
+speak to it. I have to figure out what they want
+
+to do tomorrow.
+
+MARISHA: In my experience, it doesn’t matter if he
+thinks he’s fucking with the Empire or not. The
+
+Empire is going to look at it as fucking with
+them, and that never ends well.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. If it’s amateur hour, we’re
+going to be shooting ourselves in the foot.
+
+MARISHA: Last thing we want to do is take the fall
+for these assholes.
+
+TRAVIS: No joke. Especially since we just got
+here.
+
+MARISHA: And he’s talking like he wants us to be
+the fist to his voice. What the fuck is that?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, what the fuck?
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: (sigh)
+
+TRAVIS: Beer?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys reconvene with the rest
+of the group.
+
+LAURA: So. I walked in and the guy was like– you
+know, he had his arms above his head, he was
+
+chained to the bed, right? He didn’t know where he
+left the key! I know I don’t even know how long
+
+he’d been there.
+
+TALIESIN: Well he forgot that he put it there! You
+think you’d still feel that.
+
+SAM: He paid for that service?
+
+LAURA: Oh, people will pay for all sorts of weird
+things.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+LAURA: Oh, hi guys!
+
+TRAVIS: Hey.
+
+MARISHA: 'Sup.
+
+TRAVIS: I wasn’t sure what our next engagement
+might be, but it seems like we might not have to
+
+wait that long.
+
+SAM: Did we get another job offer?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, not through the city per se, but
+remember that group that we joined the other day?
+
+LAURA: The cult? The orgy cult?
+
+TRAVIS: No that is not at all, no, no. We joined
+their meeting, right? We did not join them, we
+
+didn’t participate–
+
+MARISHA: We sampled.
+
+TRAVIS: We were in the presence of an attended
+meeting of individuals.
+
+LAURA: So they offered you money?
+
+LIAM: More of a voyeuristic position that we’re
+talking about here.
+
+LAURA: They offered you money to join in.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe it’s just us, we just go,
+fuck these other–
+
+TALIESIN: No no no!
+
+SAM: What do they want you to do?
+
+LIAM: You kept your eyes wide shut, is what you’re
+saying.
+
+SAM: Come on, what’s the fidelio?
+
+TALIESIN: Well done! Oh, that was terrible.
+
+TRAVIS: Tomorrow evening there’s going to be a
+meeting of that same group and they would like to
+
+hire our services.
+
+LAURA: Don’t you think it’s stupid to say all of
+this right here?
+
+TRAVIS: Why? Am I speaking real loud?
+
+MARISHA: Are we in the tavern?
+
+MATT: You guys are in the tavern at the table, but
+you’re keeping your voices somewhat discreet.
+
+MARISHA: Is anyone watching?
+
+MATT: No one seems to be paying immediate
+attention.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you want me to write it down?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I’ll write it down for Jester, but
+for everybody else–
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Tomorrow at midnight, we’re going to see
+what it is they want to do, and if the money’s
+
+right and if it’s not stupid.
+
+LIAM: “If the money’s right and if it’s not
+stupid” is a good philosophy for this group.
+
+LAURA: How can we be sure he’s telling the truth?
+
+MARISHA: He didn’t tell us a lot of anything.
+
+LAURA: But how do you know that he isn’t setting
+you up to be turned into the Crownsguard?
+
+TALIESIN: Exactly what she said.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, since it’s in the same place, it’s
+in the same cellar, I figure you guys can keep
+
+watch above while we’re getting info down below.
+We don’t all need to be down in the same place.
+
+LIAM: We can have my cat tomorrow to link the two
+groups.
+
+TRAVIS: Where’s your cat?
+
+LIAM: Oh boy, he got kicked to shit today.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I didn’t mean to–
+
+LAURA: Like kicked to death?
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, it’s hazy because he’s never
+really kicked to death, he’s just kicked off of
+
+the material plane.
+
+MARISHA: He got kicked into another dimension!
+
+LIAM: I’m not going to lie, it does hurt when he’s
+gone, but I always know he can come back if I have
+
+the coin.
+
+TRAVIS: Was it one kick? Just one.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it’s not funny.
+
+LIAM: It’s a little funny. Frumpkin has a good
+sense of humor about it.
+
+TRAVIS: You’d have to, you get kicked into a
+fucking other dimension.
+
+MARISHA: But who kicks a fucking cat?
+
+LIAM: Exactly! Who kicks a fucking cat exactly is
+my point! You can do a lot of things and have a
+
+very bad day but who kicks a cat?!
+
+TRAVIS: Did you get a name or a face, I mean, are
+we going–
+
+LIAM: Oh, he had such a face. I will never forget
+this face.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: We’ll beat his ass later.
+
+LIAM: Maybe.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll beat his ass later.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, it’s inevitable if you kick a cat
+you’re going to end badly. That’s just how it
+
+works.
+
+LIAM: I mean you might as well be at home picking
+the wings off flies, you kick a cat, what is wrong
+
+with you?
+
+LAURA: Wait a minute, is it wrong to pick wings
+off flies? Because that’s not–
+
+TRAVIS: That’s really hard to do, very small and
+hard to catch.
+
+LAURA: Not if they’re already dead, then you can
+pick the wings off super duper easily.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh sure, if they’re already dead, just
+go for it.
+
+MARISHA: You know what we used to do as kids, we
+used to take fireflies and crush them and make
+
+glow jewelry. When they’d light up, and you’d
+crush them right as they light up, and then you
+
+can make glowing war paint.
+
+LAURA: What’s a firefly?
+
+MARISHA: It’s a thing that happens on the east
+coast.
+
+TRAVIS: And in the south.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s a southern thing.
+
+LIAM: And in New Jersey.
+
+LAURA: Oh wow.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this a thing that really happens?
+
+LIAM: On second thought, who am I to judge? It’s
+fine! You know, Frumpkin will be back tomorrow
+
+morning because I am going to stay up late and do
+what I have to do, but aren’t we going to have a
+
+rager tonight at this place in the fancy part of
+town?
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, we can go back to the Pillow Trove
+and all hang out and sleep in the same room if you want.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, so we all just got clean and we’re
+going to get back into the sewers to get to the Tri-Spires?
+
+SAM: Is this room that you rented gigantic?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s kind of little, actually. You
+guys, it’s really little, actually.
+
+LIAM: But really nice, you said?
+
+MARISHA: But you paid for it!
+
+LIAM: You paid for it! You know, you don’t want it
+to go to waste. There’s probably a very nice
+
+sitting room or tavern or something underneath
+this place. It’s a shame to let it go to waste.
+
+LAURA: Yeah we all look nice enough, they might
+let us in. If not, let’s all go–
+
+ASHLEY: Kill them.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: What? What?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m kidding.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+LAURA: Sure, we walk back to the guards and I show
+them the key. Can we get in?
+
+MATT: For the sake of brevity? Since it’s getting
+late and I want us to get to a good ending point
+
+tonight, they will let you in but nobody else.
+
+TALIESIN: But she paid for the whole night with
+all of us!
+
+MARISHA: It’s a posse!
+
+TALIESIN: I try to look him right in the eye when
+I say that.
+
+MATT: It’s not the same guards you met before, and
+they take your key but they look towards the
+
+rather rough-looking, large, scary barbarian
+woman, they look towards the very shifty-looking
+
+multicolored tiefling they look past the, while he
+is wearing a cloak, still rough, grimy-looking
+
+wizard, and they begin to fixate directly on the
+tiny green, but white mask-skinned halfling
+
+creature thing in earmuffs that’s squinting very
+hard and they begin to really pry in that
+
+direction before you start thinking this is not
+going to go well if I keep going–
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Well, maybe– Don’t let us hold you down,
+if you want to go enjoy?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I don’t really want to stay in there
+alone.
+
+TRAVIS: How about we dive bar it tonight, then?
+
+MARISHA: Being alone is sucky, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Roll for random bar.
+
+MATT: You know one dive.
+
+LAURA: The Evening Nip.
+
+TALIESIN: No work, let’s go make an ass of
+ourselves at the Evening Nip.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, no questions. Just scouting them
+out. Yeah yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Scout it out. I think that’s a great
+idea.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Bar wars, nothing but bar wars!
+
+MATT: All righty. Let me pull this up real fast.
+Easy enough to find! You head to another section
+
+of the Interstead sprawl–
+
+MARISHA: Have we been here yet?
+
+MATT: No, you have not been. You come to what is a
+small, dark-wood, rough and tumble dive bar with
+
+two very dangerous-looking guards at the outside.
+You see these thicker human guys, one who is
+
+completely bald, pale skin, big square chin that
+looks like it’s been broken in multiple places who
+
+has his arms crossed. The other one looks to be a
+spindly guy who’s sitting there, daggers sheathed
+
+on both sides, and they both watch you as you
+enter and they both just stare.
+
+MARISHA: They’re bouncers, like rough bouncers at
+that bar.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Which is interesting, because you
+expect for them to go through that it would be a
+
+really rowdy place but it’s very quiet. You walk
+inside and aside from the central candle-lit
+
+chandelier that is almost obtrusively laid from a
+low ceiling with a number of small booths that are
+
+built out of wood as well, it has a classic
+Old-England pub feel, but everything smells of
+
+dried beers and ale and rotted wood. You only see
+two other patrons in there that are at separate
+
+booths drinking alone, and across the way you see
+this very, very old dwarf with half of his beard
+
+burned away and this perpetual grimace. He’s
+sitting there looking out. As you enter, he perks
+
+up, “Aye. Can I help you?”
+
+MARISHA: He’s the bartender?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll take a round of your house ale, if
+you don’t mind.
+
+TRAVIS: Start a tab, we’re looking to tie one on
+tonight. We’re celebrating.
+
+MATT: “If I can ask what you’re celebrating?”
+
+TRAVIS: Killed a fucking giant invisible spider,
+friend.
+
+MATT: “That’s a pretty good reason to celebrate.
+Drinks coming right up.” He goes and gets you guys
+
+a number of drinks. The basest, most bitter ale
+you’ve had, but it’s functional.
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate that. Can I ask your name?
+
+MATT: “They call me Clive.”
+
+MARISHA: Clive.
+
+MATT: “Clive Bens, and this is my bar.”
+
+TRAVIS: Nice to meet you, Clive.
+
+MATT: “Pleasure as well.”
+
+TRAVIS: Noticed some tough-looking types out
+front.
+
+MATT: “Never be too careful. Dangerous times.
+Riots breaking out in the cities in the empire.
+
+Folks coming through, you got to be prepared.
+Don’t want to be taken advantage of.”
+
+MARISHA: You been hit by any riots?
+
+MATT: “No, but that’s why. I keep my front.” His
+eyes are locked in on you.
+
+MARISHA: I was about to say, why–
+
+TRAVIS: I know, I know!
+
+LAURA: Does he look, like, mean at Fjord?
+
+MATT: No, it’s just kind of creepy.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s just locked in.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, is green your favorite color or
+something?
+
+MATT: “Sorry, just don’t get a lot of your types in
+here.”
+
+LAURA: What is his type?
+
+TRAVIS: Orc-ish blood.
+
+MATT: “Pretty.”
+
+LAURA: Pretty! See, Fjord, you’re just so
+handsome.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you, Jester. Clive, we’re not
+looking for any trouble.
+
+MATT: “Then don’t start any. Finish your drinks.
+Enjoy.” He slips them out.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, man.
+
+SAM: This place sucks.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, maybe not the best place to
+celebrate, just putting it out there.
+
+LIAM: That guy is socially awkward.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there any music or is it just low
+murmured conversation?
+
+MATT: There’s no conversation. Two people at
+separate booths that are drinking by themselves
+
+and they’re all looking at you.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, what do they look like?
+
+TRAVIS: We walked into the Russian Mafia!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah we did! This is a mob bar.
+
+LIAM: This is Fight Club, really.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you have a menu? You don’t, you don’t.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have any beers on tap? Oh no, just
+the two? Okay. Interesting. Feels like this is a front.
+
+MATT: There’s two other guys, one of them is a
+younger, plump human male, has a tuft of a red and
+
+grey goatee at the end of his chin. No hair on top
+of his head. The other guy looks to be human as
+
+well, he’s older in his forties, he glances over
+at you, he’s clutching a tankard, and you can see
+
+he has a very familiar tattoo around his neck.
+
+TRAVIS: The tattoo is familiar or he’s familiar?
+
+MATT: The tattoo. It’s not him, but it’s the
+tattoo.
+
+LIAM: Show me your tats.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You don’t know if it’s directly the
+same, but it’s a similar tattoo to Thed who you
+
+met earlier.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you should ask him about his tattoos
+since you have tattoos as well.
+
+TALIESIN: Just because someone has tattoos doesn’t
+mean they know everyone who has a tattoo. These
+
+are very different tattoos.
+
+TRAVIS: Does the floor look barren? Wood? Any
+rugs, coverings?
+
+LIAM: How big is this place?
+
+MATT: This place is maybe 20 feet by 30 feet. It’s
+very small. The floor appears to be wood boards,
+
+there are a couple doors that leave into a kitchen
+or storage area. It’s a tiny fucking dive.
+
+LAURA: Like, unless we’re going to do this we
+should get out.
+
+SAM: Should we just do this, then?
+
+TRAVIS: We did a little recon.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Maybe we finish our drink and move
+on for now.
+
+LAURA: Just go back to The Leaky Tap and then, you
+know.
+
+TALIESIN: We learned something today.
+
+TRAVIS: Have we slept after our spider bite?
+
+MATT: You guys finish your terrible ale, and you
+leave.
+
+LAURA: This is awful, and I don’t want it.
+
+MARISHA: I pound it for her.
+
+MATT: “Thanks for coming by, have a good night.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you, Clive Bens!
+
+MATT: You guys leave, and the two guards watch you
+leave.
+
+ASHLEY: Nobody wants to stay?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Do you want to stay, Yasha? I’ll stay with
+you if you want.
+
+ASHLEY: I quite like it here.
+
+MATT: I’m thirsty and have been out of water and I
+keep going to drink nothing that’s there. I do it
+
+so much and I hate it!
+
+MARISHA: Can someone fly us in some water for the
+DM?
+
+MATT: It’s fine! Because as you–
+
+TRAVIS: Are these your type of people?
+
+ASHLEY: I do like these people a lot.
+
+LIAM: Let’s play for another six hours.
+
+TALIESIN: Six more hours? Let’s make it so they
+have to break this into like five YouTube videos.
+
+MATT: Do you guys leave?
+
+SAM: Yes, we leave. Take it away, Matt.
+
+MATT: Okay. You gather your things up you leave
+out into the street to go onto the next leg of
+
+your evening adventure and that’s where we’ll
+close tonight’s episode.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: It is 11:00, we’ll pick up next week as you
+guys are leaving the Evening Nip to whatever other
+
+business you want to go towards.
+
+MARISHA: We learned so much today, you guys.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like we all grew as people.
+
+LIAM: I don’t want to stop!
+
+LAURA: I know, I feel like it’s just at home
+and we can just like–
+
+MARISHA: Keep going. Feel like we were on a roll!
+
+ASHLEY: Can we do it just us at home?
+
+TRAVIS: With some quiches, and some mimosas–
+
+MARISHA: Some lox and bagels!
+
+MATT: I feel like it would be wonderful, and I
+feel like there would be a lot of very angry,
+
+disappointed people.
+
+LIAM: Charlie the dog.
+
+TALIESIN: Charlie farting in the corner.
+
+LAURA: He’s so stinky now.
+
+MATT: I know, he’s old and stinky!
+
+SAM: “My name is Clive Bens.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+That was the roughest of old biker bars.
+All right, guys. Thank you so much
+
+always a pleasure. Pick this up next
+week, wish it was sooner! You guys, thank you so
+
+much, have a wonderful night, we’ll see you on the
+internet. Until then–
+
+SAM: Yeah if anyone wants to come see me sing a
+cappella at the University of Virginia on Saturday night–
+
+ALL: What?!
+
+SAM: Anyway, good night, guys!
+
+ALL: What?!
+
+LIAM: That’s not a surprise! Sam has deep a
+cappella roots! You all know that!
+
+SAM: I’ll be performing in a college a cappella
+concert on Saturday night.
+
+TALIESIN: You are not.
+
+LAURA: That’s so cool!
+
+MARISHA: Where in Virginia?
+
+SAM: Charlottesville.
+
+LIAM: What’s the address, though?
+
+SAM: I don’t know the address.
+
+TRAVIS: University of Virginia, you’ll find it.
+
+MATT: And on that note, folks, have a wonderful
+night, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons. Welcome. Before we get started
+
+tonight, we’re going to get through some quick
+announcements. First and foremost, we have two
+
+sponsors tonight. Number one, our fresh sponsor
+for the evening is the fantastic upcoming film by
+
+the fantastic, glorious Guillermo del Toro,
+Pacific Rim. Uprising.
+
+TRAVIS: I got that! Pacific Rim Uprising. It’s
+going to be in theaters, RealD 3D, and IMAX
+
+tomorrow, Friday, March 23rd. My wife and I, we
+original Gipsy Danger fans, I’m just saying, I’m
+
+just going to put it out there, that’s what we
+represent at the house.
+
+LAURA: We’re big fans.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m telling you. You can get tickets now
+at PacificRimTickets.com. The movie takes place
+
+ten years after the first film. A mysterious
+organization has reopened the breach for the
+
+Kaiju, and a Jaeger has gone rogue. It is up to
+John Boyega and his sweet ‘stache, and his
+
+character, Jake Pentecost, to fight back and
+prevent humanity’s extinction. It is out tomorrow.
+
+MATT: How could you not be more badass than
+playing the son of Idris Elba?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m telling you, man. I just want one of those
+outfits. I just want a Jaeger pilot outfit formed
+
+specifically to my body.
+
+MATT: So if you work in the effects team for
+Pacific Rim, and have an extra suit lying around,
+
+please send them to P.O.– no.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! I’ll work it into the story!
+
+LAURA: Then a little Kaiju cosplay for Charlie,
+because we were saying Charlie was a Kaiju level
+
+negative three, or something?
+
+TRAVIS: He destroys nothing except carpets with
+his pee. Pacific Rim Uprising, tomorrow night, go
+
+see it, because I got my tickets.
+
+MATT: There you go. And of course, our fantastic
+returning sponsor for the season, our friends at
+
+D&D Beyond. For those of you who haven’t checked
+that out, D&D Beyond, it’s awesome, they allow you
+
+to do all your stuff online for your D&D campaign,
+your character. Sam, do you have something to say
+
+about that?
+
+SAM: For this week’s D&D Beyond spot, I wrote a
+hilarious skit for me and Ashley to perform
+
+together, but she’s not here. Instead, I’m going
+to soldier on without her in the spirit of
+
+showmanship. Hey Ashley, guess what I’m thinking
+right now?
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: Well hey, there’s no need for that language.
+Listen, I was thinking how useful D&D Beyond is
+
+for tracking your stats. For instance, did you
+see all the new races in fifth edition?
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: Aasimar, I hardly knew her!
+It would be way better if she were here.
+
+Hey, I’ve got one. How many
+tortles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: (laughs) Exactly.
+
+Hey guys, the promo code from
+last week, InvisibleWand, is still active for 25%
+
+off any purchase from the D&D Beyond store. But
+Ash, why don’t you tell them the secret other
+
+promo code that unlocks everything on the site for
+free?
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: Boy, I hope they wrote that one down. Also, any
+legendary bundle owners who purchased prior to
+
+Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes can apply the same
+code to the new book. Ashley, Mordenkainen: Am I
+
+pronouncing that right?
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: Well, I don’t know why you had to bring
+my mom into this, but whatever.
+
+Anyway, on behalf of D&D Beyond, I’m Sam Riegel!
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: And, as always, the motto of D&D Beyond is?
+
+(silence)
+
+SAM: That’s the one. Thanks, everybody.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam, and thank you, Ashley.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if it could’ve been better.
+
+SAM: Ashley’s parts filled in the gaps.
+
+LIAM: Oh man, Emmy-nominated, ladies and
+gentlemen.
+
+MATT: I know, freshly Emmy-nominated, Sam.
+
+LAURA: Congratulations, Sam.
+
+MARISHA: You have that new Emmy smell.
+
+SAM: I do.
+
+MATT: A couple other things. One, we are saying
+goodbye tonight to a dear friend, our fantastic
+
+director of photography here on the program for a
+long time, Selena Ruth, she is moving on to much
+
+better pastures. We give all the love, and share
+love as well for the wonderful journey that’s
+
+before her. Thank you! You’re amazing!
+
+TRAVIS: I love your tattoos! (sobs)
+
+MATT: You made Travis cry. Good luck, and super
+excited for you. Reminder, Twitch Prime, if you
+
+have Amazon Prime, and you can connect your
+account from Amazon Prime to Twitch Prime, and for
+
+free, every month, you get to subscribe to one Twitch
+stream for free, which you can do for here.
+
+TRAVIS: Every month?
+
+MATT: Every month!
+
+TRAVIS: Wow!
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s incredible! If you haven’t done
+so, check it out! It costs you nothing and it’s an
+
+extra click. Those who may have been here
+earlier might have seen we have the Critical Role
+
+recaps, so if you need a refresher for campaign
+two, the first ten episodes of the new campaign in
+
+Critical Role are now available on YouTube as the
+Critical Role Recap, hosted by our beloved Dani
+
+Carr, who is a longtime OG Critter, now member of
+this crazy team, and the person who, if you didn’t
+
+know, originated the term, “Is it Thursday yet?”
+
+LAURA: Did she really?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that was her. That was Dani.
+
+LAURA: That’s awesome!
+
+MARISHA: That’s 100% true. She put it on her
+resume when she applied here, and I was super
+
+appreciative of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Hard to say no to that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So check it out! Because Dani is awesome.
+Talks Machina, of course, is every Tuesday evening
+
+at 7:00pm Pacific, hosted by our fantastic
+Branredabafurser. That’s for you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes! And the best name yet!
+
+MATT: Take that gift with you. No, but seriously,
+Brian’s awesome. He hosts and talks about the
+
+episode that previously happened, so tune in next
+Tuesday to see about this episode, and whoever
+
+else that guests onto it then!
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry, Matt. I’m sorry, we love you.
+
+MATT: It’s okay, it’s fine.
+
+LIAM, MATT, and TRAVIS: Oh, hello!
+
+MARISHA: Episode one callback!
+
+LIAM: Sorry, spoilers, sorry.
+
+MATT: Liam, stop it. Podcast of last week’s
+episode, episode ten, is available for download
+
+where all fine podcasts are downloadable, so if
+you have friends who are in the audio-only version
+
+of the campaign or you want to listen to it while
+you’re on your commute, it’s available for
+
+download now.
+
+TRAVIS: It sounds so good, much like an audio
+orgasm, just saying. Crisp!
+
+MATT: There you go. This weekend is WonderCon! In
+Anaheim.
+
+MARISHA: My goodness gracious.
+
+MATT: We’re all going to be down there Sunday at
+WonderCon for a Critical Role panel in the Arena,
+
+same area as last year. Let’s see if we can pack
+it full of Critters again! That’ll be 11:30am on
+
+Sunday in the Arena at WonderCon. We hope to see
+you guys there, bring some fun burning questions,
+
+and be prepared for the ridiculousness of most of
+us, but mainly Sam.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to be there on Saturday!
+
+MATT: That’s right! We have the–
+
+MARISHA: We have the Sagas of Sundry panel, in
+room 300B, at 2:00pm I think? Somewhere around
+
+there. Then after that we have the Women in Pop
+Culture panel.
+
+TALIESIN: Before all that, I’m going to be talking
+about comic books in that same room at the
+
+Wednesday Club.
+
+MARISHA: Everything is happening in 300B.
+
+MATT: So if you’re going to be at Wondercon, come
+hang out. That’s basically what we’re saying. Awesome. In
+
+convention news, C2E2 is coming up in just a few
+weeks in Chicago! We’re going to be there for
+
+Saturday and Sunday, that’s April 7th and 8th, so
+make sure you get tickets. You can buy tickets at
+
+c2e2.com! We’ll have signings, panels and fun
+stuff, so come say hello, please, if you’re in the
+
+area. Let’s see. Issue five of Vox Machina
+Origins, the comic book, still out. If you haven’t
+
+had a chance to pick it up I recommend it! Is
+there any new updates to merch, Laura?
+
+LAURA: Oh, just that there’s merch in there. Oh,
+the CR shirts that everybody loved, our throwback
+
+shirts, those sold out the first night. But it’s
+okay, you guys! Because we’re accepting backorders
+
+right now. So that’s still available in the store.
+I know, right?
+
+SAM: They only printed three.
+
+LAURA: Well.
+
+SAM: One small, one medium, one large.
+
+LAURA: We just didn’t think anybody would buy
+them.
+
+TRAVIS: Taliesin and I can’t sew that fast, okay?
+
+LAURA: Letting you know that if you order them,
+it says it on the website, but you can check it
+
+out, it says they’re going to ship in a couple
+weeks, depending on when they get printed again.
+
+Just know that if you order them there’s a little
+bit of a delay, but it’s fine, you can still get
+
+it. Put it in now, that way you can be sure you’re
+getting it this time.
+
+MATT: Cool. Thank you, Laura. Once again, our
+fantastic charity, 826, and 826LA, and all the
+
+other 826 chapters out there, they do fantastic
+work with underprivileged kids and teens in
+
+creative writing, they have great classes and
+tutoring programs. If you have the opportunity to
+
+donate either some money or your time, if you want
+to volunteer as well, highly recommend it. Please
+
+look into it. They’re awesome folks. Thank you,
+guys. Let’s see, last but not least, a quick
+
+retooling that I’ll be at Otafest in Calgary, up
+in Canada, May 18th to the 20th, and A-Kon in
+
+Texas June 7th through 10th, so come to either of
+those events if you can to say hello, I’d love to
+
+hang out. I believe that’s it! We cruised through
+those as fast as we can!
+
+LAURA: Oh god, that was fast.
+
+MATT: Without further ado, unless there are any
+complaints, let’s jump in to tonight’s episode of
+
+Critical Role!
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Last we left off, The Mighty
+Nein, the intrepid adventurers, had completed
+
+their task they had achieved from the King’s Hall
+Taskboard to eliminate this spider scourge that
+
+had seemingly clogged up a portion of the sewers,
+discovered a subtle passage into the more upper
+
+class elements of the city, managed to extract
+some information from an individual they had saved
+
+from the webbing there, got your reward for it,
+had a conversation with Ulog of the Knights of
+
+Requital, who had discussed interest in possibly
+bringing you in for some endeavor.
+
+SAM: What’s his name?
+
+LAURA: Ulog.
+
+MATT: Ulog. You had also, as the evening
+progressed, finished your night checking out the
+
+Evening Nip, a tavern that seemed extremely shady.
+Having some piss-poor ale, you had just exited the
+
+exterior of the tavern’s location, out into the
+midnight evening air of Zadash, still a bit
+
+bruised and beaten from the battle earlier in the
+day, but eager to continue with what your next
+
+endeavor is. Mighty Nein, what would you like to
+do?
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Nein!
+
+LAURA: I’m tired. This was a long day. Are you
+guys going to keep drinking?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, not in that fucking place, shit!
+Somewhere better.
+
+MARISHA: Are we making our way back?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think so.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, let’s go back.
+
+LAURA: Going to just drink at the Leaky Tap.
+
+SAM: Or just go to sleep.
+
+LAURA: I guess we won’t sleep at the fancy place
+tonight.
+
+SAM: It seems like it’s too much work.
+
+TALIESIN: Bit of a pain in the ass.
+
+LAURA: It’s a pain in the butt.
+
+SAM: Also, was there anything special about the
+room?
+
+LAURA: Nope, it was just kind of fancy.
+
+SAM: Just a bed?
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+SAM: No treats or anything?
+
+LAURA: There was a minibar, but I think you had to
+pay a lot of gold for each little thing of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Probably one of those ones, too, where you
+pick it up and it fucking automatically charges
+
+you. Dicks.
+
+SAM: Magic.
+
+MARISHA: Is that a thing?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, they’re little seals, little arcane
+seals underneath it. You pick it up and try to put
+
+it back, but the seal’s gone.
+
+MARISHA: The greed of the Crown, man.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MATT: As the evening rainfall begins to fall a
+bit harder, from a soft drizzle to a decent
+
+pour, you hear the distant rolling and crackling
+of thunder, as a storm front has slowly brought
+
+its way in as the night has progressed.
+
+LAURA: Hey! It’s like we don’t even have to bathe,
+now.
+
+MARISHA: I love the rain.
+
+TRAVIS: You know, if we’re just going back– Pumat
+Sol, what was the name of his spot?
+
+MARISHA AND LAURA: It was–
+
+SAM: A soul asylum?
+
+TRAVIS: No, it wasn’t.
+
+SAM: That could’ve been a cool name, though.
+
+LIAM: Invulnerable Vagrant.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah. How far away is the Invulnerable
+Vagrant?
+
+MATT: From where you are now, exiting the Evening
+Nip, it’s maybe a 20-minute, 30-minute walk to the
+
+middle of the Pentamarket.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it late evening, like pre-midnight,
+or?
+
+MATT: It’s pretty late evening, it’s pushing on
+midnight, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: You know what, never mind, I’ll do it
+another day.
+
+LAURA: Should we go to sleep?
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go to sleep.
+
+TALIESIN: Sleep, yes.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way back to the Leaky
+Tap, heading up to your rooms, and eventually find
+
+yourselves falling to sleep. However, the distant
+thunder rolls continue to quake the muffled
+
+interior of the rooms you’re at, the lightning
+strikes flashing through the rooms that have a
+
+respective window, and the heavy impacts causing
+you to wake up in the middle of the evening at
+
+times with a restless bit of sleep. A faint drip of wayward
+rain seems to have collected and found its way
+
+through the roof of Beau and Jester’s room, and
+the pattering in the corner of this small,
+
+building puddle causes you to frustratingly go
+and collect it, find something to at least keep it
+
+from making that noise throughout the evening.
+
+LAURA: We should fold up a blanket and put it
+under there, it muffles the noise.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s a good idea. I hate ticking,
+or repetitive noises. That’s so obnoxious.
+
+LAURA: Like (tapping).
+
+MARISHA: That. Exactly like that.
+
+LAURA: Or like, (clicking).
+
+MARISHA: That counts as well.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I bet that would be annoying if you
+didn’t like it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: What about, like, (squeaking noises).
+
+LIAM: Keep going.
+
+MARISHA: The same umbrella category, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation–
+
+SAM: That’s a conversation?
+
+MATT: Loosely. By definition.
+
+MARISHA: We just woke up, we’re real tired, okay?
+
+MATT: Mid-wee hours of the morning, you catch a
+quick glance at Yasha staring out the window at
+
+the storm, quietly sitting on the floor.
+
+MARISHA: Jesus.
+
+LAURA: Yasha.
+
+MATT: She glances over. “Yeah?”
+
+LAURA: I didn’t even know you were in the room
+with us!
+
+MARISHA: You’re super spooky at night, you know
+that?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, I get that.”
+
+MARISHA: You’re a little pale, so you have this
+ghostly quality to you. I don’t know why I’m whispering.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we’re all awake.
+
+MARISHA: We’re all awake now.
+
+LAURA: I sit down next to her and I show her some
+of my drawings to the Traveler that I did before I
+
+went to bed. Look, Yasha, it’s rat balloons. I
+show her a little drawing I did.
+
+SAM: They really are rat balloons.
+
+LAURA: Little rat balloons, and one of them
+exploding with poison coming out of it.
+
+MATT: You see a hint of a smile at the edge of her
+lips, and she gives a nod. “That’s pretty good. I
+
+could never draw.”
+
+LAURA: No? Do you want me to draw you right now?
+I’ll do it, okay!
+
+MATT: You see her pull back a bit. Another flash,
+a nearby bolt causes the sky to light up. Yasha’s
+
+unfazed, and her attention shifts back to the
+glass of the window again, a brief moment of
+
+trance-like attention before, “You should try to
+sleep.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: You all right?
+
+MATT: She gives a nod and sits back down, closes
+her eyes, still sitting in a meditative position
+
+on the ground.
+
+LAURA: I draw her lit up by the lightning and then
+I go to sleep.
+
+MATT: Okay. Eventually, you all come to
+consciousness again, sore from the action of the
+
+previous day, but the daylight greets you, muddled
+as it is from the darkened grey raining skies that
+
+greet you. The thunderstorm is still passing
+through, and a quick glance out through the window
+
+into the main thoroughfare, you can see the
+streets are muddied, and in some places gathered
+
+into small pools and flooded puddles, but Yasha is
+gone.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe she was a ghost the whole time!
+
+LAURA: Maybe the lightning exploded her.
+
+MARISHA: That’s heavy metal.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Maybe she wandered out into the rain
+and lost her memory.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a possibility.
+
+SAM: Does that happen?
+
+LAURA: Doesn’t it?
+
+SAM: Does that happen?
+
+LAURA: It seems possible.
+
+SAM: I knew I didn’t like the water.
+
+MARISHA: She probably just took off to handle some
+Yasha business, right, though?
+
+LAURA: Probably. We should ask Molly.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll ask Molly.
+
+TRAVIS: Are we still in our rooms, or are we
+downstairs?
+
+MATT: That’s up to you guys.
+
+SAM: Downstairs.
+
+MARISHA: We go downstairs.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You all gather in the main area.
+
+SAM: I just came to borrow some butter. I was
+making something in my room.
+
+LIAM: I got up early to use a ritual to bring
+Frumpkin back, I have enough supplies to bring
+
+Frumpkin back one time.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do.
+
+LAURA: What are your hit points this time?
+
+LIAM: I’m not here. Oh, let’s find out.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I want to know.
+
+LIAM: That’s a three.
+
+MARISHA: That’s better!
+
+MATT: That is better.
+
+LAURA: That’s at least two kicks.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: (boom) (exhale) Damn it.
+
+MATT: You guys gather back in the tavern
+downstairs. You slept in a little, pushing like
+
+nine or ten at this point, but it is still gray
+and rainy outside. You can see carts making their
+
+way through the mud, some getting stuck and having
+to pull through, the beasts of burden trying to
+
+make their way through. The tavern interior is
+fairly light, not a lot of people in there, a few
+
+folks that are rushing through to grab a quick
+bite and leaving or having a drink in the face of
+
+a rather dreary day. But the room is yours. What
+do you wish to do?
+
+LAURA: I’m eating a carrot, you guys figure it
+out.
+
+SAM: Did they say they had more jobs for us to
+do?
+
+TRAVIS: I believe they said there would be more, I
+mean, we don’t really have anything until this
+
+evening, remember there’s that meeting that we
+have.
+
+SAM: Where is the meeting?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s going to take place in the cellar.
+
+SAM: Do we have a plan for how we’re going to–
+what if they’re taking you downstairs to ritually
+
+sacrifice you, or something?
+
+TRAVIS: You guys are going to join this time.
+
+SAM: We’re all going?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, you don’t all have to come. Some can
+stay above. I just wanted to put the invite out there.
+
+MARISHA: We were talking about a couple people
+watching out front, right?
+
+LAURA: I will watch. I’m really good at keeping
+watch.
+
+LIAM: I will go with you, and Frumpkin will go
+with you.
+
+SAM: Oh, so I’m going in to the belly of the
+beast? Sure. I’ll disguise myself! I’ll be just
+
+like Fjord. They’ll think it’s Fjord down there!
+
+TRAVIS: You know, I wanted to talk to you about
+your Fjord disguise. It is just a little obvious.
+
+LAURA: It’s really good.
+
+TALIESIN: Too good.
+
+LIAM: Honestly, it’s very cute.
+
+LAURA: You look just like him only slightly
+shorter.
+
+SAM: That’s the first time I’ve ever done that
+spell. I was very impressed with myself.
+
+TRAVIS: I would want to see what your range was,
+in case you wanted to, I don’t know, perhaps mimic
+
+one of our other companions.
+
+TALIESIN: A total stranger would also be very
+useful.
+
+MARISHA: Someone from your deepest imagination.
+
+TALIESIN: Someone short.
+
+SAM: See, that’s too many options, when you can
+appear to look like anything! I need to focus! If
+
+I get lost in thinking, “What nose should I have?
+Bulbous, pointy, or patrician nose?” That could
+
+take hours to decide!
+
+TALIESIN: Right there, patrician! That’s perfectly
+fair right there.
+
+SAM: So a patrician nose?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes! See? One problem already solved.
+
+SAM: What kind of eyes? What color? Blue, black,
+brown, green?
+
+MARISHA: Green’s pretty.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe just one of them. Maybe you’ve got a
+patch over the other.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s too many new options.
+
+SAM: A patch on one eye? What else do I have?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe you have a cleft chin.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, yes, butt chin! Those are always good!
+Ooh yes, and give yourself red hair.
+
+SAM: Red hair, green eyes, big patrician nose,
+cleft chin–
+
+LIAM: We’re getting into Mr. Potato Head
+territory. I think maybe a simple halfling woman.
+
+LAURA: With red hair and a big patrician nose–
+
+TRAVIS: Bald on top and red hair on the sides.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. And very curly!
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: They are pulling your leg.
+
+TRAVIS: Overalls with polka dots and a real big
+bow tie. And shoes bigger than you should be wearing!
+
+SAM: I feel like you’re describing a specific
+person.
+
+TRAVIS: No! Not at all!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Ooh, that sounds really attractive.
+
+TRAVIS: Just mull it over. Add it to your–
+
+SAM: I’ll think about that one.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re rolling your mind’s Rolodex.
+
+TALIESIN: This is going to pay off at some point
+in the future.
+
+LAURA: Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes?
+
+LAURA: Yasha’s gone.
+
+TALIESIN: Did Yasha take off?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, she did that thing again.
+
+LAURA: She was staring at the storm, and then she
+went away.
+
+MARISHA: Does she sleep?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, yeah, she sleeps.
+
+MARISHA: She’s a little creepy. In like, a hot
+way, but a little creepy.
+
+LAURA: Like in a protector, I felt safe when she
+was standing watch sort of way.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, kind of.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, she does that.
+
+MARISHA: It’s very mysterious.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s good. She’s just got some personal
+issues that’s she’s going through.
+
+LIAM: It’s hard to get a bead on her because she
+always takes up and leaves.
+
+TALIESIN: It takes time.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, we all have personal issues.
+
+TALIESIN: I assure you; she’s worth it. She’ll be
+back in her own time.
+
+SAM: You seem normal.
+
+MARISHA: Who? You?
+
+SAM: All of us.
+
+MARISHA: Us?
+
+LAURA: We’re very normal!
+
+SAM: Sure!
+
+TALIESIN: Are you sure?
+
+LAURA: I mean, you’re weird. We already
+established that.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no, please, let’s not start
+calling names!
+
+LIAM: Yes, Jester, also you have a very nice
+personality, but it is a big one.
+
+LAURA: What does that have to do with anything?
+
+LIAM: Well, just what you were just talking
+about.
+
+SAM: He didn’t mean it like that. Sometimes he’s
+very honest with people.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It did seem very pointed and
+targeted.
+
+LIAM: That’s because I was speaking to you,
+Jester, sitting in front of me! You made the windows–
+
+LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy to open all the windows
+like this!
+
+MATT: They all slam open loudly! Wind and rain
+begins to suddenly pour in from the side, from the
+
+wind blowing it through. All of a sudden, the few
+folks that are in there freak out.
+
+LAURA: Oh, this storm is so crazy!
+
+MATT: (wind howling)
+
+TALIESIN: Thaumaturgy to close the windows,
+maybe?
+
+MARISHA: See, I’m having a hard time myself
+getting through to Caleb, so I feel like it’s hard
+
+for an asshole to teach an asshole.
+
+TRAVIS: Sometimes having a pupil teaches you
+something about yourself. Just saying.
+
+MARISHA: I should punch him in the face?
+
+TRAVIS: Give it a shot.
+
+LIAM: I am sitting right next to you.
+
+MARISHA: I was having a side conversation!
+
+LIAM: It’s a small room.
+
+TALIESIN: This is terrifying, but I think the
+three most even-keel, normal of us should go to
+
+the meeting. I don’t think that the three of us
+necessarily would be appropriate company.
+
+LAURA: We might stand out a little too much. It
+would be easy to recognize us as part of a meeting
+
+like that. You’re green, but mostly you look
+pretty normal outside of that.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks, Jester. I appreciate that.
+
+LIAM: We’ll switch it around, then? Maybe Nott,
+you go with Jester. You stay up top, and I will go
+
+to this meeting. Frumpkin will stay with you.
+
+SAM: Sure. Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: This works for me.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re not going to do the cloudy-eye
+thing when you’re down in the meeting though, right?
+
+LIAM: No, because I wouldn’t be able to hear what
+they are saying or know what they look like. This
+
+one said she wants to punch me in the head. I
+don’t want that to happen.
+
+TRAVIS: You go all static channel on us, we might
+be in deep shit.
+
+MARISHA: You can learn a lot of things from being
+punched in the face.
+
+LIAM: I have done that.
+
+LAURA: What do you want to do when we’re supposed
+to be keeping watch?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. There’s so many options!
+
+LAURA: We could find a candy store.
+
+TALIESIN: Are there any candy stores? There are
+stores that specifically sell candy?
+
+LAURA: There were in Nicodranas.
+
+LIAM: Are we talking about drugs again?
+
+TALIESIN: We could be.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Never mind, you have a meeting to go to.
+The rest of us are going to have some fun.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not until this evening, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s an evening meeting.
+
+LAURA: Did you want to go see Enchanter Pumat Sol?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I do. I enjoyed his company so much
+last time. Feel like we’ve got a little more coin
+
+to spend, might be smart to stock up on items.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can also take the day to ask
+around and get a little bit more of a bead on the
+
+opinions of the locals on the current political
+climate.
+
+LAURA: I have to return my key to the Pillow
+Trove.
+
+TRAVIS: Why?
+
+LAURA: Because I have a key to The Pillow Trove.
+They’re going to keep charging me a room until I
+
+give it back.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Thought your mom was going to pay for
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s assuming the money shows up in
+time.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, good point.
+
+LAURA: Well, yes. Eventually she will pay for it.
+I don’t want to waste all of the money she sends
+
+on paying for the room, you know?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s very smart of you, Jester.
+
+LAURA: I’m trying to be smarter.
+
+TRAVIS: Should we set out to our various tasks,
+then?
+
+MARISHA: You’re very smart, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Thank you, Beau.
+
+LIAM: I will tag along with you again, because I
+still have–
+
+LAURA: Because now you have a fancy coat!
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s functional.
+
+MATT: Do you all divide into your various
+endeavors?
+
+SAM: Sure. To the fancy place?
+
+LIAM: No, you go to Pumat’s, I think. I don’t
+know. I just haven’t split up with you a lot lately.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to the Invulnerable Vagrant!
+
+TALIESIN: I have not actually seen this Pumat, so
+I would love to actually take a look.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! You will love him.
+
+LAURA: Oh! He’s so wonderful.
+
+LIAM: You and me.
+
+SAM: I’m coming with you, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that’s three! Do I hear four? Four?
+Four? (speeds into auction chant)
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s my auctioneer!
+
+MARISHA: Are you going?
+
+LIAM: No, I am going with Jester to this fancy
+place.
+
+MARISHA: You’re going to the fancy place.
+
+TALIESIN: Or with us, we’re going to go shopping.
+
+SAM: Unless you want to go with your protégé
+there.
+
+MARISHA: He’s going with Jester. Yeah, I’ll go
+with you guys.
+
+LAURA: That’s our new bodyguard.
+
+LIAM: You are the muscle. She’s the muscle. You
+guys are the muscle. I am not the muscle.
+
+MATT: As you guys divide into your two separate
+groups, scattering this side, these three heading
+
+over towards the Tri-Spire. The other three of you
+guys are heading towards the Pentamarket.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I grab my Mariner’s studded leather
+armor out of my room and bring it with?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+MARISHA: Along the way, can I look for a tailor?
+
+MATT: Sure! Make an investigation check. What kind
+of tailor are you looking for, a standard clothing tailor?
+
+MARISHA: Fucking balls. Seven. Someone who can sew
+me a custom coat, a cloak, or add a lining to
+
+something like that.
+
+LIAM: I could take you back to where I bought this
+cloak yesterday, if you want to go there.
+
+MATT: It won’t take terribly long. It takes you a
+little longer. Although if you’re going to the
+
+same place he’s already been to, then it
+completely circumvents that.
+
+MARISHA: Do they do custom there?
+
+MATT: You go and inquire. They do custom work, but
+it takes a little bit of time. It’s a little
+
+pricier as opposed to buying one off the rack.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fine.
+
+MATT: It’ll take about a day for them to finish
+the work on it, and it will run you about two silver.
+
+MARISHA: Done.
+
+MATT: If you’re providing the cloak. Were you
+having a custom one made? Are you having a liner
+
+put in, or having a custom cloak made?
+
+MARISHA: I would like to take one of their cloaks
+and have a blue liner put on the inside to make it reversible.
+
+MATT: Okay, yeah. Full purchase of the cloak, and
+that’ll put you about four silver for the full
+
+cloak. That includes the work, the lining
+addition, and the time waiting for it.
+
+MARISHA: Like one of those baggier, poncho coats.
+One of those?
+
+MATT: Okay, so hooded cloak and the front and the
+back with slits for arms to come through. Got it.
+
+You have that ordered. It’ll be ready by midday
+tomorrow, they’re saying.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you, sir!
+
+MATT: You guys are going to make your way to the
+Pentamarket. At this point in time, it is still a
+
+fairly moderate downpour through the day. As you
+begin to come through, some of the carts are
+
+closed in the middle of the market: the ones that
+are more open that sell fresh goods or things that
+
+can be ruined by rainwater and that don’t have
+quite as strong of a canopy, but there are some
+
+that are still open. They have hooded lanterns out
+to draw attention towards them, you have barkers
+
+shouting out, “Meats, fresh meats!” and trying to
+get your attention over there, but you guys
+
+maneuver through, making a beeline to your
+location. Eventually you come up to the
+
+warm-looking, dark wood exterior of the Vulnerable
+Vagrant facility.
+
+TRAVIS: (mutters) Vulnerable? Thought it was the
+Invulnerable.
+
+MATT: The Invulnerable.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, got it.
+
+SAM: Is it open?
+
+MATT: It appears to be. The doors are closed, but
+it is warm on the inside, and upon checking the
+
+door, it is not locked.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. We go in.
+
+MATT: You step inside the interior and there is
+one other patron, who is currently in the process
+
+of looking through one of the glass cases in the
+far end of the room. You can see it’s a rather
+
+portly looking gentleman, probably middle-aged or
+so. His hair is curled and unkempt, but pulled
+
+close to his scalp. His cheeks are ruddy, like the
+cold weather has caused him to get a bit flush,
+
+and he’s in the process of glancing over as soon
+as you enter. He looks sidelong to your troupe as
+
+you enter and tries to mind his own business.
+There across the room, you can see there are two
+
+Pumat Sols currently, one of them smiling and
+looking out your direction, the other one that is
+
+keeping an eye on the gentleman in the corner. The
+one that watches you enter gives a big grin, “Why
+
+hello there!”
+
+TRAVIS: Good to see you again! Boy, it is sure
+coming down outside, wish there was a way to dry
+
+off real fast.
+
+MATT: “Well, if that’s what you’re asking, I would
+be happy to help you.”
+
+TRAVIS: I am!
+
+MATT: He walks on over and starts breathing
+heavily on you.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: (quietly) Fuck. (clears throat) What does
+it smell like?
+
+MATT: His breath is warm. There are elements of an
+herbal scent that immediately is overtaken with a–
+
+TRAVIS: Sour cream and onion chips.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s not entirely unpleasant, but not
+pleasant either. It’s a warm cow-breath smell.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I want to pet a cow so bad right now,
+you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll see what we can do.
+
+MATT: As he takes a deep breath on you once or
+twice, you feel your body warm up for a moment as
+
+he finishes the Prestidigitation cantrip and you
+are suddenly, immediately dry.
+
+TRAVIS: That is much better! Thank you, Pumat!
+That is wonderful!
+
+MATT: “It is, quite literally, the least I can
+do.”
+
+TRAVIS: I had a question for you: we found this
+armor down in the sewers and it seems to have some–
+
+MATT: “That’s really pretty.”
+
+TRAVIS: Right, yeah!
+
+MATT: “Yeah, no, that’s really pretty.”
+
+TRAVIS: Have you seen this armor before?
+
+MATT: “Haven’t seen that kind, no, but I like the
+designs on it. It’s really pretty.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, here’s the thing. I spent a lot of
+time by the water when I was growing up, and when
+
+you live by the water, too much water theme in
+your design is overkill. You know, it’s like the
+
+person that has the beach house and everything is
+shells and water and lobsters–
+
+MATT: “Yeah, no, that’s just a faux pas,
+socially.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I feel like this has some unique
+properties to it. Is there a chance that I could,
+
+I don’t know, in some way transfer or copy some of
+that onto what I’m currently wearing? I have a
+
+little bit more intrinsic value with what I have.
+
+MATT: “Let me go ahead and have a look at it, if
+you wouldn’t mind. There we go, there’s a few
+
+“other pieces right there if you want to hand those
+over–”
+
+TRAVIS: They’re not really attached, I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: “No, it’s all right. Oh, that’s a full
+set!”
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if shells fall out, so be
+careful.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that heads up. Hey, mind
+helping me, me?” The other Pumat goes, “Oh yeah,
+
+"no worries. Pardon me, sir, I’ll be right back.
+Me, could you watch him?” The other one comes
+
+around the corner, “Oh yeah, no worries.” Now the
+third one has entered the room and is looking–
+
+this is a very strange sight for ye who has not
+been within the store first.
+
+TRAVIS: I forgot to tell you, there are multiple
+versions of Pumat. Apparently the other ones are
+
+called “Me me.”
+
+MATT: The one who’s in the back goes, “Well, we
+only refer to each other as ‘me’ as we’re all
+
+"technically the same individual. There is a Pumat
+Prime, but he’s currently not in the main chamber.
+
+"Oh, I haven’t seen you around. What’s your name
+there, fellow?”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, hello, Molly, hello.
+
+MATT: “Molly, hello to you as well.”
+
+TALIESIN: Pleasure, charmed.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.” You see the mass of curled hair
+around the somewhat pointed furred ears that curl
+
+back. The large smile under the broad nose.
+Very–
+
+LAURA: Attractive.
+
+MATT: Oh, he’s just a pleasant, jolly individual
+who is massive in size, even with a slight hunch
+
+around the shoulders and back, stands a full seven
+feet, probably.
+
+TALIESIN: If it’s all right, I’m going to peruse a
+bit.
+
+MATT: “Oh yeah, no worries. Just be wary of
+anything you’re planning to touch over there. Oh,
+
+"and you, you’re just an adorable little friend,
+there.”
+
+SAM: Yes, it’s nice to see you again, Mr. Sol.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+SAM: Well, I’ll let Fjord finish. But I have a
+request as well.
+
+MATT: “Well, we’re going to go ahead and take
+those in the order they’ve been received. So if
+
+"you could respectfully have a moment to yourself
+there. We’ll help you as soon as we can. Thank
+
+"you.” He turns back around, and goes back to
+you–
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, hands in your pockets, all right?
+
+SAM: Don’t worry.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: As the two begin to look over, one of them
+is inspecting the quality of the armor while the
+
+other one closes his eyes and, as he begins to
+focus, you watch as this faint little flash
+
+emanates from the armor, briefly. He goes, “Oh,
+yeah, no; that there is a pretty simple
+
+"enchantment right there. There are limitations
+based on the strength of the enchantment and how
+
+"recently it’s been applied to the equipment
+involved. But since this is a simple enchantment
+
+"it is something possible to translocate onto a
+similar piece of equipment. It is a bit– there is
+
+"a cost to it should you be willing to pay for the
+service, but we can probably do that for you, yeah.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is there any chance you could tell me how
+much it might cost?
+
+MATT: “Hold on just a second.” He goes in the back
+room and you hear these two muffled (muffled conversation).
+
+TRAVIS: He’s really very nice and accommodating.
+
+TALIESIN: Extremely accommodating.
+
+SAM: Knowledgeable, too, about all sorts of
+things.
+
+MATT: (muted laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: All of them.
+
+MATT: He comes back into the chamber. “So to have
+this enchantment transferred over, it’s only going
+
+"to cost you about 80 gold pieces.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry, a little– 80? Eight zero, or
+one eight, 18?
+
+MATT: “Eight zero gold pieces as it does require
+some components to both harness, extract, and
+
+"maintain the enchantment when it is put over to
+the new piece of equipment.”
+
+TRAVIS: Right. Okay, let me think on it a bit.
+Nott, you had a request?
+
+MATT: “We’ll put a little pin in that one. You had
+a question there, little one?”
+
+SAM: Ah, yes. You sold my friend a haversack
+before, and it has these side pouches. Can you
+
+sell me a pouch, a little side pouch, just a
+little side pouchy thing?
+
+MATT: (sighs) “You see, unfortunately–”
+
+SAM: Drink cozy sort of a thing.
+
+MATT: “I mean, I can sell you a pouch. It’s just
+going to be a normal pouch. Part of the haversack
+
+"enchantment there is an all-encompassing object.
+We have others, if you’d like to buy one for yourself.”
+
+SAM: Other haversacks?
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+SAM: How much were they, again?
+
+MATT: “For a return customer–” Do you have the
+card still on that one?
+
+LAURA: You charged me an additional 200, but that
+was also giving you the glaive.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: Right, with the charge on it. I think the
+total cost was a little over 1,000 gold.
+
+(laughs)
+
+LAURA: We got a good discount. That glaive was
+really nice, shit.
+
+MATT: It was a few hundred at least. I don’t have
+the card in front of me. “Yeah, I–”
+
+LAURA: I have the card, but it doesn’t say the
+cost. Ooh, it does, 1,350! Fuck! Oh shit.
+
+SAM: I’m okay, then. That’s fine. I don’t need– I
+thought that they could be broken up and sold in
+
+little sets.
+
+MATT: “I mean, we could look into possibly
+devolving a small-based enchantment like that. I
+
+"mean, research and development of that does take a
+while. You’d have to fund the endeavor. The good
+
+"news is, when it’s done you’d be the first to have
+an original Enchanter Pumat Sol pocket cozy pouch.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: How much would that endeavor cost me?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. I’ll be right back.” He goes
+in the back room again. (muted conversation) Comes
+
+back out. “Pumat Prime there says that for the
+process of research and development, should it be
+
+"successful, development of the object, it’ll
+probably be about two weeks of time of enchantment
+
+"and the cost of the overall pouch will probably
+run you 200-250 gold pieces.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s mighty good.
+
+LAURA: That’s a pretty good deal compared to
+the–
+
+SAM: Yeah, but I’d just get the side pouch.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I wouldn’t get the full thing.
+
+LAURA: But, I mean, still.
+
+TALIESIN: What are you going to put in it?
+
+MARISHA: So many things.
+
+LAURA: Buttons.
+
+SAM: A lot of buttons.
+
+LAURA: A regular pouch can hold a lot of buttons.
+
+SAM: That’s true. I’ll think on it. Can I ask you
+one more question, Pumat?
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+SAM: I don’t mean to pry into your personal
+existence, but there seems to be many of you. Was
+
+that caused by magic? Did you do that? Is that an
+accident? Was that a splicing thing?
+
+MATT: The large looming figure of Pumat Sol shades
+over you and slowly comes down onto his knees.
+
+This lurching monolith over your tiny goblin
+frame. The face gets tense for a second and pulls
+
+back into this very warm, toothy smile and goes,
+“Oh, I like an inquisitive little girl.” Pats and
+
+rubs your head. The hand is like a giant mitt that
+almost encompasses your entire head.
+
+TRAVIS: You get a fucking concussion.
+
+MATT: “If you look over there.” He points on the
+wall, you see a framed symbol: three diamond
+
+shards that all point to the center in a flux
+capacitor-like design. He goes, “I’m actually an
+
+"annex of the Cerberus Assembly. So I get certain
+favors and I do things for them. I provide them,
+
+"occasionally, with my capabilities and some
+enchanted objects, and in return they were kind
+
+"enough to provide me with, well me, and him, and
+him.”
+
+SAM: So the Cerberus Assembly is that powerful
+with magic?
+
+MATT: “They’re about the most powerful you find in
+the Empire, yeah. So me and my brothers here are
+
+"actually, technically, we’re a Simulacrum.”
+
+SAM: Oh. That’s fascinating.
+
+MATT: “But you know, we do what we can.”
+
+SAM: If someone were to want someone with that
+sort of magical power, you could not provide that,
+
+but the Cerberus Assembly could?
+
+MATT: “Well, I guarantee with enough positive
+reinforcement, with enough friendship attained
+
+"with certain members like I have developed over
+many years of hard work and providing services,
+
+"perhaps one day you too could be the fine owner of
+three other versions of your tiny self.”
+
+SAM: That’s amazing. Are they a secretive group?
+Do they have a business card or anything?
+
+MATT: “Not much of a business card. They got
+members all over. Most of them are up in the
+
+"capital, but there is one of them that runs that
+Hall of Erudition. Right over in the Tri-Spires.”
+
+SAM: Thank you. Thank you for the information.
+
+MATT: “Of course, happy to help.”
+
+TRAVIS: You know, Pumat, I think will take you up
+on that enchantment, 80 gold. It’s a bit more than
+
+I was hoping to spend. I could overhear you
+offering an incentive for being a return customer.
+
+I did enjoy, most recently, unfortunately, one of
+your healing potions. Perhaps if I purchased a
+
+healing potion and the transfer of the
+enchantments, we could find some sort of a deal?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TRAVIS: Get it, get it, boy. 12, It’s not
+terrible.
+
+MATT: “I respect your candor. I see that you have
+a keen mind for business relationships. However, I
+
+"do have to turn a profit. So I can’t do much for
+you there, my apologies.”
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. Healing potions were how
+much again? 70 gold?
+
+MATT: “No, those were 50 gold apiece.”
+
+TRAVIS: 50 gold. Wow, I got to work on my fucking
+memory. Great, I will take a healing potion and
+
+the enchantment transfer, please.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough. That will will run you 100
+and–”
+
+TRAVIS: 30.
+
+MATT: “30 gold pieces, that’s correct. There’s
+your healing potion. You get your basic one right there.”
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, thank you.
+
+MATT: “It’ll take about an hour to transfer this
+here enchantment for you. So be patient and come
+
+"back in about 60 minutes. Should be ready to go.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I take the breastplate part of my
+leather armor off and leave it with you.
+
+MATT: “Oh, this is– want us to clean it for
+you?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that would be–
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, please clean it. Please.
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not that bad. You don’t have to act
+like it–
+
+TALIESIN: It was starting to– it has a brine.
+
+MATT: “Would you prefer black ice, lavender or new
+leather?”
+
+TRAVIS: New leather.
+
+MATT: “New leather it is. We’ll get it right to
+you.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s amazing.
+
+MATT: Turns around.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been doing a perusal, by the way. Is
+there anything that’s caught my eye in this–?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Make an investigation check. It’s hard
+to concentrate, 13.
+
+MATT: Okay, there’s a lot of things here. Many not
+anywhere near your price range.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+MATT: There are three that catch your eye that are
+loosely interesting, at least, between you and your
+
+allies. There is one pendant that has a darkened
+ivory spiral and almost a heart sculpture, but it
+
+is roughly sculpted.
+
+TALIESIN: Interesting.
+
+MATT: That is currently labeled with a fine ribbon
+at the bottom at 150 gold. It states that it has
+
+the capability of– you can almost hear it in his
+voice after seeing and meeting him for this short
+
+time. “It’s capable of ensuring that if you take
+too many hits it will help prevent you from bleeding
+
+"out on your own.”
+
+LAURA: That’s good.
+
+MATT: “Also, when you take a rest, you get a
+little bit of a bonus when healing.”
+
+TALIESIN: All right, that’s interesting.
+
+MATT: There’s one of them that’s this darkened,
+orangeish, amber-colored orb or marble about that
+
+big. That is 350 gold.
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+MATT: The ribbon attached to that one states,
+“Should someone holding this have the capability
+
+"of spinning spells one way or the other, they could
+probably keep one stored in this thing and release
+
+"it at a later time.”
+
+MARISHA: I had one of those last campaign.
+
+LAURA: That was a ring.
+
+MARISHA: That was a ring of holding, yeah. Good
+stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: The final piece that I noticed?
+
+MATT: Yes, this is a really beautiful cloak that
+has a purplish-blue color to it with very fine
+
+edged embroidery in gold and silver that naturally
+comes out of the cloak like it’s growing silver
+
+vines at the edges of it. It’s a very fine make.
+This one is labeled at 800 gold. “The donner of
+
+"this cloak would find themselves largely protected
+in certain ways from the elements, or blows, or
+
+"magics, or what have you.”
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+LAURA: It’s like a cloak of AC? No, like
+resistance?
+
+MATT: Cloak of protection.
+
+LAURA: Cloak of protection, like ring of
+protection.
+
+TRAVIS: It gives you some bonus.
+
+LAURA: Man, I want a ring of protection again.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we all do.
+
+TALIESIN: We all do.
+
+TRAVIS: Super squishy-ass, crispy tacos.
+
+SAM: What if we kill all of Pumat Sol and come
+back and rob this place?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a great plan.
+
+MATT: That’s an option.
+
+TRAVIS: I think you only have to kill the one.
+
+LIAM: Prime.
+
+TRAVIS: This conversation did not happen in the
+game, by the way.
+
+MATT: Oh, I assumed.
+
+TALIESIN: What did we each make off of–
+
+SAM: You should be tracking it in your D&D Beyond
+currency counter.
+
+LAURA: We didn’t put that in our–
+
+SAM: I added my 100. We each got 100.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I think I added it.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it was 700 gold.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, so I did. So I can technically
+afford this.
+
+LAURA: Well, one of them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d love to see that heart locket if you
+don’t mind. This thing.
+
+LAURA: Did you spit on my thing–
+
+SAM: Probably, you made me laugh.
+
+MATT: There’s the two guys are like, “Sorry, can’t
+help you, we’re in mid-enchantment translocation.
+
+"Could you help him?” The other one’s like, “Yeah,
+no worries, I got you. Hey there, buddy, what you
+
+"looking at over there for?”
+
+TALIESIN: Pleasure to meet you. I was looking at
+this piece right here.
+
+MATT: “Oh yeah, no. Let me pass you over a little
+more information about that. That’s a periapt of
+
+"wound closure, if you’re so interested. It both
+allows you to stabilize when you hit zero hit
+
+"points, and when you’re using hit dice to heal up,
+it’s a little bit nicer.”
+
+LAURA: Is this like, if I’m healing him, does he
+still get the double hit points?
+
+MATT: “Just when it’s doing hit dice.”
+
+LAURA: Sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Got to attune to it?
+
+SAM: Wound closure? You cut yourself all the time,
+that would be very useful.
+
+TALIESIN: They tend to sort of heal themselves,
+though.
+
+LIAM: Is it reusable?
+
+TALIESIN: This is quite nice, oh yeah. You know what? I
+think I’m going to treat myself, I’m going to take
+
+it. I feel like I’ve earned something, we’ve had a
+good run of it, and I have never spent this much
+
+money on anything in my life.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, we’ve got some good momentum
+right now, right? What could possibly happen?
+
+MATT: “Not going to lie, really appreciative to
+have, just here in a few days, returning customers
+
+"willing to spend fine, hard-earned gold on some
+finely crafted and enchanted objects.”
+
+TALIESIN: I pass 150 gold.
+
+MATT: “An absolute pleasure there, you say it was
+Mollyoop?”
+
+TALIESIN: Just Molly to my friends.
+
+MATT: “Molly it is.”
+
+TALIESIN: This is wonderful. I’m going to add it
+to my other necklace.
+
+TRAVIS: It looks incredible. It’s found a place.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel, it’s right to my heart. Right
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: Pumat, before we go, I wanted to ask you, I
+know that you’re an annex of the Cerberus
+
+Assembly. How do you feel about the governing
+parties here in town? Are you happy with the way
+
+things are run?
+
+MATT: “I mean, overall it seems to be as fine as
+it can be.”
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+MATT: “You know, some folks don’t have as much
+coin as others, but what can you do to really help
+
+"them? We do what we can, but there’s a lot of
+dangerous things out there. We got all sorts of
+
+"baddies coming over from Xhorhas, we got the
+possible encroaching of foreign powers always
+
+"looking to peek over the mountain range and try
+and steal some of our hard-earned materials. So I
+
+"think it’s good they keep us nice and safe and, I
+mean, I got myself a fine business, too.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I think it’s great that you support
+the barracks. Do they come in for regular
+
+purchases every week or every month or find
+themselves in your store more often than not?
+
+MATT: “Who are you referring to?”
+
+TRAVIS: The members of the Cerberus Assembly.
+
+MATT: “Oh no, they don’t come to the store often.
+They usually send requests, they make orders and I
+
+"have them sent on over to either Rexxentrum or the
+Hall, if that’s where they’re going to be
+
+"utilizing them.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s wonderful. Well, thank you, thank
+you for your time.
+
+MATT: “No worries. They’re a fine bunch. They do a
+lot of good, they keep the Crown in check, they
+
+"make sure there’s no abuse of power and they also
+have been very staunch supporters of helping
+
+"promote learning here in the smaller, more middle
+to lower classes here in Zadash.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh really? They’re not as protective of
+certain knowledges as other parts of the
+
+government might be?
+
+MATT: “Well, I mean, protective of knowledge in
+the sense that not everyone can be trusted with
+
+"knowledge and, I’m not going to lie, some of the
+things even I know could be real dangerous in the
+
+"wrong hands, so I think it’s important there has
+to be a certain level of control. I’ve seen some
+
+"really nutty people out there that I can’t imagine
+what it would be like if we didn’t have some sort
+
+"of law and order.”
+
+TRAVIS: But they might be a bit more open-minded
+to people sharing in that knowledge if they were
+
+the right type of person, say?
+
+MATT: “Could very well be! They’ve been very kind
+to me.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m glad to hear that. Nott? Molly? You
+have everything you need?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’ve been looking in the little
+mirror, trying to get the height right.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you want to bring the mirror with you?
+
+TALIESIN: Can I?
+
+TRAVIS: I was joking.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s right. Fine. This is good.
+Okay.
+
+SAM: We’ll probably be back in like a day.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll be back.
+
+MATT: “Well, we’ll be here. All four of us.”
+
+SAM: Goodbye, Pumats Sol.
+
+MATT: “Pleasure to meet you, little goblin lady!”
+
+TRAVIS: Give Pumat Prime our best.
+
+MATT: “I will. Right now.” He goes in the back
+room as the other two are still focusing on your
+
+armor. As you leave the two that are focusing go,
+“Thank you!” “Thank you!”
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck.
+
+MATT: You wait the better part of an hour, are
+able to retrieve your armor, and indeed you now
+
+have the Mariner’s armor enchantment on your
+breastplate.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for not making me stand out in
+the rain for an hour without top pieces. Thank you.
+
+MATT: Now, the three of you. So what means are you
+attempting to enter the Tri-Spires?
+
+LAURA: We go back to the gate, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. You know, I had that bad time
+yesterday, but probably different guards there and
+
+I have this cloak now so I’m going to–
+
+LAURA: You look really– can I? I’m going to brush
+your hair out of your face.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: And like, wipe at any dirt off your face,
+okay?
+
+LIAM: Oh, the rain has already taken care of most
+of that.
+
+LAURA: I know. Well, it’s washed it off, but now
+I’ve got to get the smudges off. Because, you
+
+know, it’s still kind of there.
+
+LIAM: Thank you. Is it good?
+
+LAURA: Well, you look sparkling clean! You look
+very dashing.
+
+LIAM: Okay. We’ll see if the guards think so, eh?
+
+LAURA: Yes. Just keep your cloak really tight on
+you, okay?
+
+LIAM: That’s the idea, yeah.
+
+MATT: You find yourselves to the exterior of the
+Tri-Spires, the familiar gate where you’ve
+
+traversed and failed to traverse once before. As
+you make your way towards the edge, you see the
+
+two guards once again step up to the center to
+prevent entry. As they begin to walk up, you see
+
+three other figures are exiting the district, and
+the guards stop, “Halt.” Give a nod, recognizing
+
+the individuals as they walk past, they move on.
+They look to be fairly decently dressed, a male
+
+and a female. You don’t know if they’re married or
+not, but they appear to be a couple. A friend of
+
+theirs is off to the side. All in cloaks, hoods
+up, very nice cloaks, thick but very well-made as
+
+the rain is still coming down. They’re all bundled
+up, but there is a point of recognition with the
+
+guards as they pass by. As they move beyond, the
+guards once again approach and they’re like, “Halt.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, hello again.
+
+MATT: “Hello again.”
+
+LAURA: Yes. We’re making our way to the Pillow
+Trove. That’s all.
+
+MATT: They both give a look over the two of you.
+
+MARISHA: I’m all nice and buttoned up. Belt tied.
+
+LIAM: I’m looking at the ground.
+
+MARISHA: Looking tough.
+
+MATT: For the sake of this, make a persuasion
+check, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Oh, Jesus. Okay. That was not a lot of
+flourish there, but 17!
+
+TALIESIN: It went back to a 20.
+
+LAURA: I know it did.
+
+MATT: “All right. Come in.” You guys quickly make your way
+through the open gates, under the portcullis, into
+
+the cobblestone streets of the Tri-Spires, and there
+you see the Silken Terrace, the three towers that
+
+mark the central part of Zadash.
+
+LAURA: (giggles) We made it!
+
+LIAM: It’s nice in here.
+
+LAURA: I know, right?! Should we ask where the
+smutty shop is that you want to go to?
+
+LIAM: It has a name. It is called Chastity’s
+Nook.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: (laughter)
+
+LIAM: Yes, it’s right in the name.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a good name.
+
+LAURA: I go back to the guard and ask where the
+Chastity’s Nook is.
+
+MATT: “I– oh.” He gives you this weird look as
+you ask him. He’s like, “Actually, it’s right there
+
+"in the Silken Terrace to the left of the large
+bakery. It’s the hut-looking thing.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you very much, I appreciate all of
+your help, you’ve been wonderful, okay, bye.
+
+MATT: “Of course,” he says behind you as you rush
+off.
+
+SAM: A bakery and a porn shop? If they find a
+fight club, you guys are going to be orgasming!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, they make pornographic cakes
+there, so it’s all right.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty great.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, oh, oh!
+
+MATT: Bringing in an American Pie reference, wow.
+You enter the Silken Terrace. First off, the
+
+beautiful cobblestone streets before you are
+broken up by small patches of small fenced-in
+
+shrubbery and flower bushes. The whole interior
+here is such stark contrast to the rest of the
+
+city. It is both surprising and sickening knowing
+some of the harder lifestyles that exist on the
+
+outside of the walls here. There are a few large
+sights as you pass through here. There is– one of
+
+the large towers here is part of the ivory and
+marble structure that has large blue banners that
+
+hang down the sides. The central tower itself
+fires up into the sky. This centerpiece– and
+
+you’ve known this because you’ve been here before–
+is known as the Zauber Spire.
+
+MARISHA: Zombra Spire– Zombra?
+
+MATT: Zauber Spire. Z-A-U-B-E-R S-P-I-R-E. The
+Zauber Spire. It is the central piece of the Halls
+
+of Erudition campus and lords over that entire
+section to the north side. It is the furthest
+
+tower here. There is an area that you’ve heard of but
+not been to called the Gilded Willows, which is
+
+the tree-dappled residential area of the city.
+It’s broken up into several pieces, but you can see a
+
+lot of the treetops, and there is this very
+natural, almost picturesque beauty of the interior.
+
+LIAM: What was that called again?
+
+MATT: The Gilded Willows. It’s the broken up
+residential aspects of this area.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, it’s Bel-Air.
+
+MATT: Yeah. There is the Triumph Chime, which is a
+seven-story temple and belfry that has been
+
+retrofitted as the previous– and you would know
+this from learning your history lessons–
+
+actually, make a history check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe you know it.
+
+MATT: You might not remember it.
+
+MARISHA: It was so good, too! Almost! Did you see
+that? History? Six.
+
+MATT: All right. You know that it’s there. You
+know the three towers are there. There’s the
+
+Zauber Spire; the Constellation Bridge in the
+Gilded Willows, which is a giant watchtower that
+
+overlooks the entirety of this city; and then the
+last bit is the Triumph Chime, but that’s all you
+
+know about them.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s, like, the Zauber Spire, the
+Constellation Bridge, and whatever the Triumph
+
+Tower is. Chime. I think it’s a church. Or a cult.
+Or a church-turned-cult. I don’t remember.
+
+LAURA: The Constellation Bridge sounds very
+pretty.
+
+MARISHA: It is.
+
+LIAM: It’s a good name.
+
+MATT: As you continue in the direction of where
+you were guided, you come upon the very familiar
+
+scent of warm baked goods, both savory and sweet.
+It is relatively crowded. A lot of the folks are
+
+bundled up. They have large mittens on, heavy
+coats and cloaks and a lot of the general elite
+
+that live in this vicinity have come here to pick
+up warm goods to help go against the cold rain
+
+that’s now coming down upon the city. To the right
+of that, towards the very edge of this road of
+
+various shops and market bits, there is a building
+that is small with a thatched roof, like it’s more
+
+for the visual aspect of it. It’s made to look
+almost like a small country cottage but it’s
+
+plainly intentional and is an aesthetic that’s
+been placed onto it to make it look different and
+
+interesting from the rest of the–
+
+MARISHA: Like a tiki bar!
+
+MATT: Yeah, I guess you could say that. Outside
+you do see a sign that is written in beautiful
+
+cursive that’s arched over the main door that says
+“Chastity’s Nook.” The doorway is slightly open,
+
+and there is a warm light from the interior. There
+is a glass window. There are books on display
+
+there, but you already see a few people inside.
+It’s not packed, but it’s making business. What do
+
+you guys want to do?
+
+LIAM: Just before we head that way, just out of
+curiosity, what is the name of the bakery that is near?
+
+MATT: You actually can’t see the name from the
+outside. You’d have to go and ask.
+
+LIAM: I go and ask. I walk into the– come, are
+you hungry?
+
+LAURA: I always am hungry!
+
+LIAM: Okay, I will get us some sweets if you want.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, sure, why not? We are flush at the
+moment. I walk in.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to ask. As you walk inside,
+there is a whole table set up with warm goods and
+
+a kitchen that’s constantly going. There’s about
+12 patrons in there right now in the process of
+
+eating or ordering. It’s called the Meal Hearth.
+
+TRAVIS: Your hands are going to be all sticky
+before you handle the books.
+
+LIAM: Better than after.
+
+(groaning and laughter)
+
+MATT: If you’d like to, you can load up on–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, what are you in the mood for? Do you
+want something sweet or something savory?
+
+LAURA: Oh man, this bakery that we had in
+Nicodranas had amazing bear claws.
+
+LIAM: Bear claws. Well let’s see. Excuse me?
+Whoever’s running this show.
+
+MATT: In the midst of the chaos you see a young
+man in his late teens or so with a little bit of a
+
+prickly chinstrap beard, very short, tattered
+brown hair but other than that spry, smiling. He
+
+has an apron on, and he’s currently putting a
+small tray on the edge, “Hello. Can I help you?”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’re in the mood for some bear claws,
+the kind they have in Nicodranas. Have you heard
+
+of these? Do you have them?
+
+MATT: “We have bear claws. I don’t know if we have
+any Nicodranas bear claws?”
+
+LIAM: We’ll take the bear claws, yeah?
+
+LAURA: Yes, and then we can compare and let you
+know.
+
+MATT: “As far as I know the only major difference
+is they load it up with cinnamon–”
+
+LAURA: That’s exactly what I was going to say!
+Cinnamon, yes!
+
+MATT: “We can do that. That’ll be done. How many
+would you like?”
+
+LIAM: Probably ten bear claws. Also do you have
+any hot freshly baked bread?
+
+MATT: “That we do as well. Of course.”
+
+LIAM: I will take a large loaf of hot bread, fresh
+out of the oven, please.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, you’ll have to wait the moment. About
+20, 25 minutes, we’ll have a fresh one for you.”
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can go shopping and come back?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’ll return. We’ll double back for
+the bear claws. So we’ll come back for ten of
+
+these and that hot bread.
+
+MATT: “So ten bear claws and bread. You want to
+pay in advance?”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, sure, that’s no problem. What do I
+need?
+
+MATT: So for all the bear claws and the loaf of
+bread–
+
+LAURA: I don’t know.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s not that much.
+
+LIAM: $13.50?
+
+MATT: Probably run you three silver.
+
+LIAM: Okay. One. Two. Three. Easy. Thank you very
+much.
+
+MATT: Of course. See you back here in a minute. As
+soon as you turn around, somebody else has pushed
+
+past you and gotten in the front. “I’d like three
+of–” and you’re like, ugh, this place is awful.
+
+LIAM: Come on, it’s too crowded in there.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, I’ll buy you some porn.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that’s good to know. I lead the way to
+Chastity’s Nook.
+
+MATT: As you enter the small shop, the interior is
+beautiful and surprisingly busy. There’s five
+
+other patrons that are currently perusing through
+various tomes and stacks of artwork. You can see
+
+it carries many books and different types of
+tawdry decor, like rugs, embroidered tapestries,
+
+candles, both scented and not, and you can smell
+oils and incense in there as well. It’s this
+
+mishmash of scents. It’s dark-lit in the interior,
+but as soon as you enter, almost every other
+
+person glances over their shoulder at you and goes
+back about their business. As soon as you finish
+
+scanning the room, a voice peeks up and goes,
+“Hello!” You glance over and see a human female in
+
+her 40s, mousey brown hair, wild and curly that
+goes past her shoulders, and she has a heavy
+
+sweater on and these big glasses right in front of
+her face. She goes, “Can I help you?”
+
+LIAM: That is a very handsome sweater you have. Is
+that from here in the city?
+
+MATT: “Thank you so much. It was a gift.”
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, what is your name?
+
+MATT: “Iva.”
+
+LIAM: Iva. Pleasure to meet you.
+
+MATT: “Iva Deshin and this is my shop.”
+
+LIAM: Iva Deshin. I’m new to town, and I’m looking
+for a bit of reading, and this place has been
+
+highly recommended to me, and I’m wondering
+what–
+
+MATT: A grin curls past her face. She goes,
+“Recommended? You want to go to that back.” She
+
+points, and you can see now that she’s pointed
+out, because it’s one long chamber with shelves
+
+and a central table. The beginning has more of the
+accouterments, like the candles and the various
+
+knickknacks you can purchase. In the back, you can
+already see there are large scrolls that are hung
+
+up, with beautifully painted nudes. You can see
+rows and rows of–
+
+(laughing)
+
+LIAM: I made you plan for this!
+
+MATT: I know you did. Yeah, you did, buddy. There
+are stacks of books where the covers have their
+
+own individual paintings, where you can see–
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Detail!
+
+MATT: You can see a portion of a moonlight
+painting of a brawny-looking man who’s dipping a
+
+fainting woman in a delicate dress, glistening
+across the moonlight. It’s slightly pulled open,
+
+yeah. This is the young adult romance section of
+any bookstore on full display, and the more you
+
+look back, you can see there’s a few figures in
+the process of thumbing through the books, reading
+
+them where they stand in the middle there. “Are
+you looking for anything in particular?”
+
+LIAM: You know, my tastes are very varied. I’m
+always looking for something new.
+
+MATT: “Ooh, I have recommendations, if you like.”
+
+LIAM: Of course. I am very interested in
+literature recommendations.
+
+MATT: “There’s Zemnian Nights. Very popular.
+There’s The Enchanting Tryst, for those who want
+
+more of a fantastical perspective. Scent of the
+Sea, for the traveler who enjoys their perusal.
+
+That one is outer empire, so folks have varying
+interest. There’s Tusk Love. That one’s a little
+
+more saucy.”
+
+ALL: Tusk Love!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “If you want something more gentle,
+something that’s more of a classic love story, we
+
+have Guard of My Heart. Shallow Breaths are a bit
+more bawdy.”
+
+LAURA: I want to buy Tusk Love, please.
+
+MATT: “Right this way.”
+
+LIAM: As she walks away from us: You know, I’m
+obviously here for a purpose, but I like
+
+historical fiction as well, and I like when the
+two things are combined. Do you know what I mean?
+
+LAURA: Sex and history.
+
+MATT: She leans in for a moment and gives you a
+look. “Follow me.” She leads you both to the back.
+
+She plucks a copy of Tusk Love.
+
+SAM: There’s a guy in an Abraham Lincoln costume,
+just whacking it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I’m following, by the way.
+
+TRAVIS: Four score–
+
+MATT: “Define 'historical.’ What are your
+interests?”
+
+LIAM: I like historical fiction. I don’t like
+shallow smut. I like to learn something while I’m
+
+being titillated, I suppose.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TRAVIS: My shirt’s gone back up.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: You made me do this, Liam.
+
+LAURA: I love how many book titles you have.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Edubation.
+
+MATT: Edubation?!
+
+TRAVIS: (straining) A squared plus B squared
+equals C squared!
+
+LIAM: I have rolled a zwanzig, that is twenty.
+
+MATT: Okay. “It’s been banned for the past 15
+years, but I do have a couple of reclaimed copies
+
+of Courting of the Crick, if you’d be
+interested.”
+
+SAM: Courting of the Crick.
+
+LIAM: I’m very much interested, in this and other
+books as well, but we will start with (whispers)
+
+the Courting of the Crick.
+
+MATT: “Well, because it’s–” and the voice stays
+very hushed, and she adjusts her glasses, the
+
+closer she gets “–because it is technically not
+supposed to be here, it’s a bit pricier. That one
+
+runs you about 15 gold pieces.”
+
+LIAM: I’m still interested. I would like to see
+the quality of the book. You know, see if it’s in
+
+mint condition.
+
+MATT: “Of course, it’s not a worry. Just a
+moment.” The other books, the regular books–
+
+LIAM: Did she walk away from me, by the way?
+
+MATT: Briefly, yeah.
+
+LIAM: I cast Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: On her? On the room?
+
+LIAM: Everything.
+
+MATT: As you complete your incantation, there is a
+slight shimmer of energy that expands around the
+
+chamber, and scanning through and across the
+books, nothing peeks out at you as magical from
+
+the shelves. It looks there’s only a collection of
+tomes. You get a small blip from the hunched,
+
+cloaked figure in the corner that’s currently
+reading through one of the books hurriedly. Just a
+
+faint source of magic on their person.
+
+LIAM: The range, I believe, is 30 feet, if I’m not
+mistaken. Yeah, it is. Am I covering every part of
+
+the store where I am? I start to browse.
+
+MATT: Okay. I will say– let me look at the–
+
+If anything looks out of reach of the spell
+
+that I have just cast,
+I will walk in that direction.
+
+MATT: Right. It’s concentration, so you can pass
+around. You scan the entirety of the room. It does
+
+not appear to be that there is anything directly
+magical being put on any of the shelves.
+
+MARISHA: It’s because this whole place is magical,
+Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Angels and demons.
+
+MATT: The only blip of magic source you’re getting
+is from one of the patrons.
+
+LIAM: Just one of the patrons. Nothing behind any
+doors, nothing on the shelves. Okay, I wait for
+
+her to return.
+
+MARISHA: Does there appear to be a used book
+section, like trade-ins?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, no. There isn’t a lot of
+business for used books here in the Tri-Spires.
+
+Most folks purchase and display on their shelves.
+It’s a symbol of status. The more books you have,
+
+the more you can display on your shelves, the more
+well-read you are to your guests, as you have them
+
+over. There isn’t a big market for returning
+things you’ve read.
+
+MARISHA: Huh. Okay. You can learn a lot from what
+people wrote in books.
+
+LAURA: I walk up to one of the other patrons
+that’s hurriedly looking through one of the books.
+
+MATT: Okay. The one that’s closest to you, or one
+of the other ones?
+
+LAURA: Sure. Whatever one is closest to me.
+
+MATT: The one that’s closest to you, as you
+approach from behind, he has a dark brown cloak
+
+that’s pulled over one shoulder. He’s wearing a
+sky blue tunic, soft, a silk sheen to it in what
+
+little bit of lantern light is lighting the
+interior. From the side of his chin, you can see
+
+he’s got a softer, rounder face, and as soon as
+you begin to approach, as you aren’t approaching
+
+quietly, he stops, the book closes, back on the
+shelf. Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Perception? 18.
+
+MATT: It is Shallow Breaths.
+
+TRAVIS: Breasts, or breaths?
+
+MATT: Breaths.
+
+TALIESIN: Heaving.
+
+TALIESIN and TRAVIS: Heaving breasts.
+
+TRAVIS: (breathes deeply)
+
+LAURA: Ooh, Shallow Breaths, that’s a good one.
+
+MATT: As the guy turns around, you can see him.
+He’s mid to late thirties, you would expect, dark
+
+hair slicked back, the hairline pulling back a
+bit, male pattern baldness-style, human, and as
+
+soon he whips around: “Oh, I’m just perusing.”
+
+LAURA: It’s not one of your favorites?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know, I’ve not read it, I couldn’t
+tell you.”
+
+LAURA: What’s your name?
+
+MATT: “I need to go.”
+
+He pushes past you, and as
+he begins to exit the chamber, he goes, “I’m all
+
+right, I’m good, thank you this time, good bye,”
+and darts out into the rain.
+
+LAURA: I open it up and see what Shallow Breaths
+is about.
+
+MATT: It is smutty. We’re talking like, Anne Rice
+fairy tale book-level.
+
+TALIESIN: Good skirt around there, by the way.
+Well done.
+
+MATT: I remember I got really –
+
+TALIESIN: We were all in high school once, it’s okay.
+
+MATT: No, I got really into Interview with a
+Vampire, and then my mom got these great new Anne
+
+Rice books, and I was like, “Oh, she made new
+books about Cinderella, that’s– oh.” Yeah. It’s
+
+what you’d expect.
+
+LAURA: Smutty.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester. Do you think that the fact
+that this place is called, “Chastity’s Nook” gives
+
+everyone a complex who shops here?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: It’s really good.
+
+MATT: At this point, Iva returns with a book-sized
+tome that is covered in a soft deerskin leather,
+
+pulls it open, and shows you the outside of it.
+It’s very high quality, like it’s barely been
+
+read. “This is the piece.”
+
+LIAM: That is finely made. May I hold it?
+
+MATT: “You may.” She looks over to make sure
+they’re blocking the view to anybody else.
+
+LIAM: I turn with her, so that my back is, and I
+speed read four pages.
+
+LAURA: Are there illustrations?
+
+LIAM: Oh jeez!
+
+MATT: Interestingly enough, it begins almost like
+The Silmarillion, in the sense that it reads not
+
+very flowery.
+
+TRAVIS: In a hole in the ground.
+
+MATT: It has a very instructional, nonfiction,
+historical-type speech. It begins to talk of early
+
+empirical conflicts. It begins to talk of the
+post-Calamity.
+
+It begins to talk of elements of–
+It begins to hint at the ideas of
+
+forbidden romance between sides that were not
+meant to meet. A lot of it begins like, “and then
+
+this person led this army into this place, and
+these many were slaughtered.”
+
+LIAM: Out of curiosity, if I flip through, do I
+see any boning anywhere inside?
+
+MATT: As you begin to flip through, she
+(chuckles), “I understand if that was enough of a
+
+peek and you’re interested, you could purchase?”
+
+LIAM: Yes, it’s a high quality item, you can
+understand my excitement. I’ve been thinking in
+
+the space of time that you have left, and while I
+would like to purchase something here today, I’m
+
+very low on funds, and the nature of this book,
+and the trouble I could get into– I mean, your
+
+secret is safe with me, but it is too hot for my
+hands. I was wondering if you had a copy of
+
+Shallow Breaths here?
+
+MATT: “That I do. And not a worry.” She quickly
+folds it up and tucks it under her arm and hides
+
+it amongst her sweater. Right over here. She picks
+up a copy, the same copy the gentleman was looking
+
+through earlier, and hands it to you.
+
+LIAM: Perfect. How much would this run me?
+
+MATT: “Three silver pieces.”
+
+LIAM: Three silver, okay. I take out the three
+silver. One, two, three, and I hand it over.
+
+MATT: “Thank you very much.”
+
+LIAM: Yes, and did you two want to get anything?
+
+LAURA: Yes, I want to buy the Tusky Love one.
+
+MATT: “That is also three silver pieces.”
+
+LAURA: (whispers) And I want to buy the other one
+that’s expensive, please, thank you.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Aw, you beat me to it.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Yeah.
+
+MATT: (whispers) “All right, that’s 15 gold.”
+
+LAURA: But be secret when you put it in my bag,
+okay?
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+SAM: Paper bag.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Very terrible discreet hand-off, where it’s
+like– She adjusts her glasses once more. “Thank
+
+you, and it’s been a pleasure. If you’re ever
+interested, I do my own writing, and am in the
+
+process of finishing the third chapter of my next
+series, so–”
+
+MARISHA: I would love to see it right now.
+
+MATT: “Well, it’s not done.”
+
+MARISHA: Do you have a sample?
+
+LIAM: What is your niche?
+
+MATT: “Well,” She gets a little nervous, reaches
+behind, pulls out a small piece of paper, and
+
+says, “I need this back because it’s part of my
+manuscript. You can have a glance over it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Tumblr is so happy right now.
+
+MARISHA: What is it?
+
+MATT: At a quick glance, it is not very well
+written. It’s a bit ham-fisted in its analogies
+
+and descriptives. You have caught the middle of a
+saucy meeting of a strong, strapping farmhand, who
+
+is currently trying to work down the cost of a
+piece of equipment by the purveyor. You don’t have
+
+enough information to make out the full story, but
+it’s this, “How can I get this at a cheaper price?”
+
+MARISHA: She’s very heavy-handed with her
+innuendos.
+
+MATT: The salesman’s like, “Well, I don’t know.
+How much are you willing to pay?” It goes back and
+
+forth, and you’re like, I see where this is going,
+but it’s not going there fast enough.
+
+MARISHA: They keep talking about the heft of his
+equipment. A lot of reference to his equipment.
+
+TRAVIS: The gauge of his pipe?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s– Do you–?
+
+MATT: “Do you like it?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, do I.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck! I was thinking of Fjord as I was
+trying to be nice!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you were doing it.
+
+LIAM: All her hopes and dreams.
+
+MARISHA: It’s cocked, right? Okay, thank you. 18.
+
+MATT: She’s like, “Oh good! I’m so glad you like
+it.”
+
+MARISHA: You know, there seems to be a lot of
+machinery knowledge and, like, heavy machinery
+
+knowledge. Was that also an interest of yours?
+
+MATT: “Oh, well there was a family background,
+yes. Before I took up writing.”
+
+MARISHA: Man, I’ve never seen engineering and–
+combined!
+
+MATT: “I think it’s rare that I meet people that
+are interested in seeing that type of niche. Thank
+
+you. I hope to have it ready for sale, hopefully
+within the next three or four months, so please do
+
+come by again.”
+
+MARISHA: Consider me interested.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is there a mailing list?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I almost asked if there was. Is
+there a mailing list? You got to get the word out.
+
+Get people interested.
+
+MATT: “It’s kind of a word of mouth thing. The
+clientele prefer a bit of privacy.”
+
+MARISHA: Sure!
+
+LAURA: While this was going on, and she was
+distracted.
+
+MATT: Oh no.
+
+LAURA: Can I find one of the books that looks
+easily accessible? I want to open it up and on the
+
+inside write: “We’re watching you. We saw you come
+in here.”
+
+MATT: You grab a quick copy of Guard of My Heart.
+The cover has the actual Crownsguard crest printed
+
+on it. It is a dynamic of honor versus what the
+heart wants. Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+LIAM: Written by Seven Corbo.
+
+LAURA: That’s so good! Plus five, so what is that?
+23? 23.
+
+MATT: As you quickly whip through the statement,
+close the book, set it on the shelf, no one any
+
+the wiser. You have a sense of accomplishment wash
+over you. You hear this faint, distant chuckle
+
+that is sourceless, but pleased.
+
+LAURA: That felt good.
+
+MATT: You have your smut. What would you like to
+do now?
+
+LIAM: It’s probably about time to go pick up the
+bear claws.
+
+LAURA: The pastries!
+
+MATT: Easily enough. It’s still raining, but not
+quite the heavy drizzle it was earlier. It’s
+
+lighting up a little bit. As soon as you step
+outside, you can see, way far off in the distance,
+
+a little bit of blue begin to break. The heavy
+part of the stormfront, at least, is beginning to
+
+pass. You pick up the remainder of your ordered
+baked goods and a loaf of bread as well.
+
+LIAM: On the top shelf, behind you there. What do
+you call those? These pastries? I slide the smut
+
+under a tray of bread.
+
+MATT: You slide it under a what?
+
+LIAM: A tray of bread on the counter.
+
+MATT: Just on the counter?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Hide it.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+LIAM: They look the other way.
+
+SAM: You learn from the best.
+
+LIAM: That’s all right. 11.
+
+MATT: 11, okay. He glances up, “Oh, that’s more
+bread.”
+
+LIAM: Oh. Okay. I’ll take my bread, please.
+
+MATT: “Yes, of course. Fresh. Here you are, sir!”
+
+LIAM: Thank you. Would you like to carry the bear
+claws?
+
+LAURA: Yes please! Thank you.
+
+LIAM: As we’re walking out, I will show you a
+trick that I’ve learned in the past few years.
+
+It’s very cold out. I pull sides of the bread out.
+It’s hot. I hand to you a bread, and I hand you a
+
+piece of bread, and then I shove my hands in. It’s
+warm, and I can eat it later! Let’s go.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, Caleb.
+
+LAURA: You know you can buy mittens?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, there are muffs? Like hand muffs?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but I can eat this. Why are you
+looking at me that way?
+
+LAURA: It’s weird, Caleb. It’s weird.
+
+LIAM: It’s not weird. Many people have done this
+in this make-believe world and also in America.
+
+MARISHA: (skeptical noise)
+
+LIAM: I walk out the door.
+
+LAURA: Well, it’s really good bread.
+
+MATT: Any other business you’d like to tend to
+while you’re in the Tri-Spire, or are you joining
+
+your friends?
+
+LAURA: I think there’s a casino here.
+
+SAM: Jesus!
+
+LAURA: But, we can just go to the Pillow Trove.
+
+SAM: (loud whispering) Do you want to drop off
+that key first?
+
+LAURA: That’s why I’m going to the Pillow Trove!
+
+SAM: Oh okay. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I heard Nott telling me something.
+
+SAM: I am the Traveler.
+
+TALIESIN: I thought were going to go for Mighty
+Nein sponsorship at the Nook.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk along to the Pillow Trove,
+when we walk by the flowery bushes, I slowly pop
+
+all the blossoms off the flowers as I go.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way to the interior of
+the Pillow Trove, the same woman clerk, who you
+
+met the other day, is there in the process of
+going through and organizing the last bit of
+
+information of the few folks that got rooms the
+night before. You see at the top of the split
+
+staircase a female elf: brunette with golden eyes,
+older in the face. You see some lines along the
+
+cheeks that– for elves, that age gracefully–
+shows a bit of age. You see a very beautiful,
+
+laced, red dress that goes up to the neck, with a
+bit of a window right there. The arms are crossed
+
+and folded in front, and as you enter, looks down
+and smiles. The clerk glances up, “Oh, hello again.”
+
+LAURA: She’s beautiful. Who’s that?
+
+MATT: “That’s Madam Luenna. Madame?” and the woman
+descends the stairs, one step at a time, arms
+
+crossed. “Hello. Pleasure to make your
+acquaintance.”
+
+LAURA: You too.
+
+MATT: “Can I help you?”
+
+LAURA: I don’t know. I just asked who you were
+because you’re really pretty.
+
+MATT: “I am the owner of the Pillow Trove.”
+
+LAURA: Oh! It’s beautiful! You did a really good
+job in here decorating.
+
+MATT: “Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate
+it.”
+
+LAURA: Your dress is really pretty, too.
+
+MATT: “Thank you kindly. So?”
+
+LAURA: I came to get all my stuff out of my room
+and then I’m going to give the key back, okay?
+
+MATT: “You’re checking out? How unfortunate.”
+
+LAURA: I am, but I’ll be back very soon because I
+have a package coming. So be on the lookout for
+
+one to Jester.
+
+MATT: “Jester. Is that your name?”
+
+LAURA: That is me.
+
+MATT: She takes your hand and holds it. “A
+pleasure, my dear. Good bye.”
+
+LAURA: Good bye.
+
+MATT: Turns and makes her way back up the stairs.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: She’s really pretty.
+
+LAURA: Did you see her eyes? They were golden.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: You want to see my room?
+
+MARISHA: Sure!
+
+TRAVIS: Want to see my toys?
+
+MATT: You walk upstairs, you find the room. It’s
+small, the one that you had rented, but it’s
+
+beautiful in the interior. The sheets have layered
+lace. High thread count. It’s quite awesome. There
+
+is a balcony, though the curtain’s currently drawn
+because of the rainy day outside. It’s a very nice
+
+room.
+
+LIAM: I slide my hand under the sheets, and I feel
+that thread count.
+
+MARISHA: Your hands are dirty! You’re covered in
+bread!
+
+LAURA: No! It’s okay because I rented it! I pull
+the covers off.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s right!
+
+LAURA: Lay down! You want to lay down! You can use
+it!
+
+LIAM: Maybe if you had carried a ruler, you could
+hit my knuckles harder next time.
+
+MARISHA: Would you like that?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: Would you like some mitts?
+
+LIAM: No!
+
+MARISHA: You know this is how diseases are spread,
+right?
+
+LIAM: I light my hand on fire.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Why didn’t you just light your hands on
+fire instead of putting it in bread?
+
+LIAM: I would’ve burned the bread and then I
+couldn’t eat it. It’s simple.
+
+LAURA: It’s toast. It’s actually really tasty.
+
+LIAM: Well, I don’t have– the control is a little
+tricky sometimes.
+
+LAURA: Little off.
+
+LIAM: Sometimes.
+
+LAURA: Open the curtains up!
+
+MARISHA: Did we get a good view?
+
+MATT: You get a decent view. It’s not terribly
+high up, but you get to look down over the street
+
+below you, the cobblestones still slick and the
+rain pattering on the stonework. You see the
+
+fences that curl around the exterior of the
+terrace. The treetops are now more visible and the
+
+canopy is puffing up behind the larger estates and
+buildings that make up the interior of the
+
+Tri-Spires. You have a pretty decent view of the
+Zauber Spire from here. You see it domes towards
+
+the very peak. There is a glass, cylindrical, top
+floor that overlooks the entirety of the city.
+
+Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+Natural 19. Plus three so 22.
+
+MATT: Not too difficult for you to see, even
+through the bit of rain that’s up there, but at
+
+the very top where you see the glass exterior, you
+see the outline of two figures that are standing,
+
+looking over the entire city from up there.
+
+MARISHA: At the top of the Zauber Spire?
+
+MATT: Yeah, Zauber Spire.
+
+LIAM: Zauber. Like sour.
+
+MARISHA: What do they look like? Are they wearing
+any colors?
+
+MATT: You can’t make out the full details of them
+from this distance, but you can see the basic
+
+shape and outline of two figures looking out.
+
+LAURA: I’m dancing around the room while you’re
+looking.
+
+MATT: Jester’s just darting around.
+
+LAURA: Literally dancing around.
+
+LIAM: What are you looking at? You’re squinting.
+
+MARISHA: Just looking. Just, you know, people
+watching.
+
+LIAM: Where are there people?
+
+MARISHA: These two assholes up there on the top of
+the Zauber Spire.
+
+LIAM, MARISHA, and LAURA: Zauber.
+
+LAURA: I crawl under the bed.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, the whole Cerberus Assembly thing.
+Do you know much about them?
+
+LIAM: I mean, if you are in the empire you’ve
+heard of the Cerberus Assembly, ja.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, no. I know. We’re both empire kids,
+right? More so than the rest of the Nein?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MARISHA: What do you think about the empire?
+About the crown?
+
+LIAM: It is what it is.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I think it’s kind of bullshitty.
+
+LIAM: Well, that is also true, but it also is what
+it is. It’s the empire.
+
+LAURA: What makes it bullshitty?
+
+MATT: You hear Jester say from underneath the
+bed.
+
+LIAM: Where are you? What are you doing down
+there?
+
+LAURA: I was seeing if anybody left anything good
+under here.
+
+LIAM: And?
+
+LAURA: Did anybody leave anything good under the
+bed?
+
+MATT: No. Actually, it’s pretty well-cleaned and
+maintained underneath there.
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty well-cleaned though, so nothing
+is here that’s good. Not even any bugs or anything.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, look at this. Look at how
+much money is up here compared to elsewhere. This
+
+is a lot of control.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. What are you going to do about it?
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) (sighs)
+
+LAURA: Are you going to do something, Beau? I
+stick my head out. Are you planning a rebellion?
+
+MARISHA: No. I just want to make a ton of money
+and drink a lot of booze.
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+One.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Thanks, Pike.
+
+LAURA: I believe you.
+
+LIAM: We’re going to hit the bars tonight.
+
+MARISHA: I think best we can do is try and be
+happy in, as you said, this shitty situation that
+
+we’ve all been granted.
+
+LIAM: Nationwide, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Anyway, should we go?
+
+LIAM: Should we go or–?
+
+LAURA: Oh, sure. I crawl out from under the bed.
+Caleb? I got you a present.
+
+LIAM: Did you? You bought that book?
+
+LAURA: I bought you history porn!
+
+LIAM: You bought me that book? That is so
+expensive for this book. This is just smut.
+
+LAURA: Well, technically, you gave me the money
+for it. Is it useful?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. I don’t read things like
+this.
+
+MARISHA: Mind if I take a look at it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you have it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to flip through it. Does
+anything catch my eye based on what I know?
+
+MATT: I mean, do you want to sit and read it, like
+full? If you skim through it, you see pages, like
+
+some of it smutty, some of it seems boring.
+
+LIAM: You know, the thing is, places like that are
+like yard sales. 99% of the time, there is nothing
+
+but broken crap. But once, and I pat the book in
+one of my holsters, I found something.
+
+LAURA: Is that the one I drew the dick in?
+
+LIAM: Did you draw the dick on the Friends spell?
+You did it? That’s the one.
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+LIAM: Yeah I found that in a porn shop.
+
+LAURA: Really? Are there pawn shops here?
+
+LIAM: Porn.
+
+LAURA: A porn shop?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Hidden.
+
+MARISHA: You know, this reminds me of the stuff
+that I used to read back in school.
+
+LAURA: You read porn in school?
+
+MARISHA: No, like all the history stuff. It feels
+like a bored monk wrote this. A real bored monk.
+
+MATT: If you want to take the time to read it,
+either now or another time, I can give you more
+
+information, but scanning through, you don’t see
+anything that catches your eye.
+
+MARISHA: I might read it later when you’re done
+reading it.
+
+LIAM: You go first. Give me your review.
+
+MARISHA: Really?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Have at it.
+
+LAURA: Caleb doesn’t want it.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a great gift. Honestly, I was
+thinking about buying it and then you beat me to
+
+it. Great minds, right?
+
+LAURA: There you go. It was a present for you all
+along. Well, I wish I would have known. I would
+
+have bought you that other shitty book you
+bought.
+
+LIAM: I appreciate the gesture, because it is the
+thought that counts. It’s the gesture, Jester.
+
+LAURA: That’s my name.
+
+LIAM: But seriously, thank you.
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome.
+
+MARISHA: What’s this book called? Does it have a
+name?
+
+MATT: Yes. It is called–
+
+LIAM: A Tale of Two Titties.
+
+MATT: No. Courting of the Crick.
+
+LAURA, MATT, and MARISHA: Courting of the Crick.
+
+TRAVIS: Good luck adding that shit.
+
+MARISHA: I know. Yeah, I’m not going to be able to
+type that in. I’ll write that down.
+
+MATT: You’ve bought baked goods, you’ve bought
+smut, and you’ve played in a hotel room. What do
+
+you guys want to do now?
+
+LAURA: I guess we can go back then.
+
+LIAM: There’s a casino. You want to go to the
+casino? I don’t want to go there.
+
+LAURA: Are there any religious temples here?
+
+MATT: You’d have to ask around. Make an
+investigation check.
+
+LAURA: That’s shit. Six.
+
+MATT: You have a hard time finding somebody who
+can give you any information. Most folks, a couple
+
+of individuals you stop go like, “Oh I don’t know
+about religion (scoffs),” and walk away.
+
+Seems to be less of an interest
+in conversing with you.
+
+MARISHA: You see why I left this town? Ugh,
+people.
+
+MATT: No luck on that, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: What about in the Pillow Trove? Do they
+have a little library there?
+
+MATT: They do not. It seems that they’re not
+providing anything simply to read. You’d probably
+
+have to bring in your own or purchase them from
+the local Chastity’s Nook.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: This neighborhood makes me a little edgy to
+be honest. I’m done. But I will go with you if you
+
+want to go somewhere.
+
+LAURA: No, I think I’m good.
+
+LIAM: Shall we go?
+
+MARISHA: Good when you all are good.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Let’s go back to the stinky part
+of town.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Okay.
+
+MATT: You guys meet up back at The Leaky Tap with
+the rest of your party. You have already retrieved
+
+your freshly transposed enchantment on your
+breastplate. You guys gather once again in the
+
+tavern to consolidate your plans for the day.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I pull Molly aside? Hey, I wanted to
+ask you. When you stopped Nott from rifling
+
+through my shit last night, what was she looking
+for?
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t think to ask. Honestly.
+
+TRAVIS: She wasn’t grabbing for anything in
+particular?
+
+TALIESIN: Not that I remember.
+
+TRAVIS: She going through your stuff too or just
+mine?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god, no, not my stuff. That’d be
+ridiculous. My stuff’s worthless.
+
+TRAVIS: Just can’t help herself, I guess.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, you know. Some people have needs.
+It happens. Just keep an eye on your things and
+
+make sure you always know how much money is in
+your purse.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+MATT: At this point, it’s early afternoon. Is
+there anything you wish to do with your day? Any
+
+place you wish to go? Anybody you wish to talk to?
+What do you want to do?
+
+LIAM: You know, I’m a little tuckered. I’m going
+to take a rest upstairs. I’m going to copy that
+
+last spell into my book. I’ll see you guys in a
+little bit, maybe around dinner time.
+
+MATT: Do you guys hang around until he’s ready?
+
+LAURA: I guess I can go check out one of the
+temples.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to wander around the back side
+of The Leaky Tap.
+
+MARISHA: Before you leave, real quick, Beau asks
+you if you found any information out while you
+
+were on your journey.
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t. Actually, I happened to ask
+Pumat Sols, the plural, and he happens to be like
+
+an annex shop of the Cerberus Assembly.
+
+MARISHA: Really? I’m with it.
+
+TRAVIS: So he supplies goods to all parts of the
+kingdom, but he says they keep a good balance in
+
+check from the power of the empire. Keeps a tight
+leash. I didn’t ask about any religious uprising
+
+or anything, but he seems like such a nice guy and
+doesn’t seem the type to rat.
+
+MARISHA: Right. Interesting. We went to the fancy
+end of town where I’m pretty sure everyone is
+
+super into the crown because they are all funded
+by the crown and they are the crown, so I was like
+
+eh, probably a bad place to start asking political
+questions.
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody stopped you? You got in all right?
+
+MARISHA: We did, yeah! Went to a smut shop.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh good. How’d that go?
+
+MARISHA: As to be expected. Smutty. What should we
+do?
+
+TRAVIS: Well I was just thinking, for this
+evening, maybe we should double-check there aren’t
+
+alternate exits coming in and out of that cellar.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, in case it’s a trap or something.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that dwarf didn’t really give me a
+very good feeling.
+
+MARISHA: Also, we know that people are looking for
+these type of rebels. If we can see a board
+
+ratting people out, so can other people. We don’t
+want to get caught in a sting operation, for lack
+
+of a better term.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. You want to walk around the back to
+see if there’s another way in?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we go around the back of the tavern
+and look for back doors, floor latches?
+
+MATT: Sure. Do you guys want to make separate
+investigation checks or does one of you want to
+
+help the other?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll help you make it.
+
+MATT: So you get advantage on your investigation
+check.
+
+MARISHA: Big money! Are you fucking serious?
+
+TRAVIS: Which ones did you roll?
+
+MARISHA: Wait, they’re both threes. I rolled two
+threes. Both threes.
+
+TRAVIS: With the plus.
+
+MARISHA: Four, so seven.
+
+MATT: You spend a while looking around the back of
+the tavern. There is a back entrance that leads
+
+into the kitchen. There is a cellar entrance.
+You’re not sure if it goes to the same place where
+
+you met or a separate subterranean space, but it
+is currently locked off, chained.
+
+TRAVIS: Locked off, chained? Does this alley have
+a lot of human traffic or are we on our own?
+
+MATT: No, you guys are on your own at the moment.
+
+MARISHA: Can you try and pick this?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, I have a crowbar.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god. I’m going to stand watch in
+the opening of the alley. I’m going to make sure
+
+while he does this.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I have a crowbar.
+
+MATT: So you’re going to go ahead and pry the
+chain off of it?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I try and pop the lock? Is it like a
+chain and a lock?
+
+MATT: Yeah it’s a chain and a lock.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit. That’s not as good.
+
+MARISHA: We could get Nott in here to try and pick
+it. Just leave it nicely looked like it’s not opened.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s true. That is what she does.
+You want to go snag her? I’ll keep an eye.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’ll be right back. Nott!
+
+SAM: (gnawing) What?
+
+MARISHA: I hate to interrupt your dinner. Can we
+borrow you for a quick second?
+
+SAM: (swallowing) Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: You get led outside in the soft drizzled
+exterior into the alleyway, feet clomping through
+
+the muddy floor. They show you to the outside of
+an angled door that leads to a basement cellar
+
+that is currently chained with a lock in the
+center of it.
+
+MARISHA: Can you pick this?
+
+SAM: Can I pick that lock?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Keep a lookout.
+
+TRAVIS: I do a quick look. Both ends of the alleys
+and on the windows around the area.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. He takes one end; I take the
+other.
+
+MATT: Perception check from each of you guys and
+make a check with your thieves’ tools.
+
+MARISHA: Jesus fucking ballsacks.
+
+SAM: (tink)
+
+TRAVIS: Mine’s okay. 16.
+
+MARISHA: Seven again.
+
+SAM: One. It’s magically enchanted. It’s
+magically– Ah! My eyes! Ah! It’s magically
+
+enchanted!
+
+TRAVIS: Shh! I cover her mouth.
+
+SAM: Are my thieves’ tools broken?
+
+MATT: Pretty bent.
+
+MARISHA: Oh that sucks. Oh I have thieves’ tools!
+Can I try?
+
+SAM: Give them to me!
+
+MARISHA: I give Nott my thieves’ tools.
+
+MATT: Which is good, because your thieves’ tools,
+currently, are not very good. You’re down one set.
+
+You can try again. You don’t see anybody currently
+heading down or near the alley at the moment.
+
+TRAVIS: No windows?
+
+MATT: No. There aren’t any windows in the back of
+the building, since there are small vents for
+
+kitchen smoke to filter out, but there’s no
+windows looking out into the alley.
+
+TRAVIS: No windows facing that way.
+
+SAM: Better. What do I add?
+
+MATT: You add your proficiency bonus and your
+dexterity.
+
+SAM: 21.
+
+MATT: 21.
+
+SAM: These tools are so much better than mine.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I stole them off of a really rich
+guy.
+
+MATT: The lock comes straight off.
+
+SAM: Can I hang on to them for–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: You can have mine. Actually you can’t, I’d
+like to keep them.
+
+MARISHA: You’ll just owe me later, how about
+that?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: Pull the lock of the chains, open the
+cellar and look down. It’s dark. There’s no light
+
+source in there.
+
+TRAVIS: I have my orc–
+
+MARISHA: I put on the goggles.
+
+TRAVIS: Go for it, yeah. Might as well use that.
+
+MATT: You head down. It is a second cellar. It is
+not the same cellar you guys have met with before.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not the same cellar.
+
+MATT: No, this one can only be reached from the
+exterior.
+
+MARISHA: There’s no entrances? No secret
+entrances? No trap doors hiding behind barrels?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck this up this time, come on.
+
+MATT: You have–
+
+TRAVIS: That’s cocked.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage on this because there
+is no light source.
+
+MARISHA: It’s cocked on a 20.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it’s cocked.
+
+SAM: He said disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+MATT: Because there’s no light in there. So even
+though you have darkvision, it’s still dim light.
+
+MARISHA: Well. Okay. What am I doing?
+Investigation? 11.
+
+MATT: You don’t see any other passageways. No
+hidden doors or anything. In fact, this one’s
+
+fairly empty. There’s a few barrels in here and
+some small crates, but a lot has been moved out of
+
+here, either because it was recently used or it
+hasn’t been restocked.
+
+MARISHA: Any good bottles of wine or brews laying
+around?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m going to search around for valuable
+shit.
+
+MATT: Go for it. You find, not a bottle of wine,
+but you find a couple of heavy jugs of some sort
+
+of an older ale.
+
+SAM: 23.
+
+MATT: 23? Okay, you glance around, you find a few
+odd copper pieces that are in the dust. You do
+
+find a set of metal bracelets.
+
+SAM: Connected to each other?
+
+MATT: No. They’re separate. But you do see they’re
+currently resting around a skeletal wrist.
+
+MARISHA: There’s a skeleton down here?
+
+SAM: Is it a human size skeleton?
+
+MATT: It is a human size skeleton. It’s been here
+for a long time.
+
+SAM: (stuttering) Dead guy. Dead guy.
+
+MARISHA: Did they not clean when they bought this
+place?
+
+SAM: This was some sort of a dungeon.
+
+TRAVIS: I come down at the mention of a skeletal
+wrist. Are there any other bodies in this cellar?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That’s the only one you find.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, no one’s around, right?
+
+MATT: Not at the moment, no.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to pull out my adventurer’s kit
+and light a torch, because fuck this darkvision shit.
+
+MATT: So you get a torch situated. It lights up,
+the room’s brighter.
+
+MARISHA: No one knows we’re down here, right? The
+door’s closed.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I’m going to leave because we’re all
+three down here and go back up to the top and keep
+
+an eye.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Do we see anything else weird? More
+dead bodies, anything like that?
+
+MATT: No more dead bodies. Even this one you find
+is mostly like it was stuffed behind some of the
+
+barrels.
+
+SAM: Can I tell how it died?
+
+MATT: You can make a medicine check.
+
+SAM: Not good. Five.
+
+MATT: No idea.
+
+SAM: Died of a broken heart.
+
+MATT: It’s just a skeleton.
+
+SAM: No clothes?
+
+MATT: There is some elements of cloth on there but
+it’s been down here long enough to decompose to a
+
+mostly skeletal state. So it was probably here a
+long time ago, and it was pressed up into this
+
+corner and barrels were pushed up against it to
+keep it out of sight. Probably the reason it
+
+hasn’t been found until now.
+
+SAM: Okay. Nothing to see.
+
+MARISHA: That’s really gross.
+
+TRAVIS: No other ways in or out, huh?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, anything else now that I have the
+light on? I don’t see anything?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+MARISHA: Shit. (long sigh) I take one of those
+bottles of beer, then I leave.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s somewhat cloudy when you shake
+it, but still full.
+
+TRAVIS: Close the door up, run the chain back
+through, put the lock on it, but don’t lock it.
+
+MATT: Okay, cool.
+
+Well. We’re going to have to have a good, I don’t
+know, a good chain of eyes out as we’re down there
+
+tonight.
+
+SAM: Do you want to establish some sort of, like,
+if you get in trouble is there a way to alert us?
+
+MARISHA: Frumpkin? I don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: Not really, because if Caleb’s going to be
+down there with us– I think, if we start
+
+screaming or you hear a ruckus–
+
+SAM: If I’m with you, I can cast Message and alert
+our friends.
+
+TRAVIS: See, down there I’m not so worried.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: It’s about people coming in.
+
+SAM: Oh, well then I’ll stay out and I’ll Message
+you when–
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, somebody outside The Leaky Tap,
+another person on the inside to run interference,
+
+because you can buy us a couple seconds.
+
+MARISHA: You can Message Caleb.
+
+SAM: I can Message any of you.
+
+MARISHA: Or any of us.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, couple layers, right?
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Any other prep we should do?
+
+TRAVIS: Nah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, let’s do this.
+
+MATT: We still have a few hours until sundown. Do
+you guys want to wait until the evening comes
+
+about? You can.
+
+MARISHA: Get food. I’ll read some of my book.
+
+MATT: So as you guys rest, the evening’s light
+eventually comes to a darkened sky, the storm
+
+slowly begins to pass while the sky still remains
+somewhat cloudy, the stars not visible. It appears
+
+that the heavy waterfall from the air above has
+come to a patter, to a halt. As you prep for the
+
+tension of the evening’s choices, we’ll go ahead
+and take a break. Be back here in just a moment, guys.
+
+SAM: High action.
+
+MATT: (laughing) This is some unique excursions
+into the city today.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m so happy.
+
+MARISHA: Iva!
+
+TRAVIS: I remember my 12 and 13-year-old
+excursions into the back of the comic book store
+
+with the 18 and up section. Oh man. “How old are
+you kid?” “Pretty old.”
+
+LAURA: You probably got away with it. You looked
+like you were 30 when you were 18.
+
+MATT: Before we go to break, guys, it’ll be our
+Wyrmwood giveaway. This giveaway now is the cherry
+
+deck box. Which is a nice wood style, you can look
+inside, you get your fancy interior for your card
+
+decks and other things you want to hide in there.
+Ooh, it smells nice too. For this giveaway, go
+
+into the Twitch chat, it has begun! Right now the
+offer is only good for residents of the United
+
+States and Canada, because laws. Excluding Quebec,
+unfortunately. We’re sorry, Quebec! For the
+
+official rules, the link will be in chat. Tonight
+the keyword is “unrest.” U-N-R-E-S-T. So you can
+
+enter that in the chat now. Enter it once only; if
+you do it more than once, you’ll be disqualified.
+
+We’ll come back with the winner here in a few
+minutes. See you guys in a minute!
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: That was a sniper shot.
+
+MATT: Welcome back. First, before we dive back in
+we have our winner of the evening, it is Areski14!
+
+Congratulations.
+
+TRAVIS: “A risky 14”?
+
+MATT: Areski.
+
+TRAVIS: Areski!
+
+MATT: A-R-E-S-K-I 14, congratulations! We’ll get
+that to you ASAP. As you have taken the afternoon
+
+to rest within The Leaky Tap tavern, and the
+midnight meeting looming, what would you guys, if
+
+anything, you want to do anything or do you want
+to wait until the time transpires?
+
+SAM: You guys want to go anywhere? Pumat told me
+that the Hall of Erudition is really cool and has
+
+some cool things in it if we wanted to check it
+out. Or! We could go kill The Gentleman!
+
+MARISHA: Go kill–
+
+SAM: I don’t know, is that what we’re supposed to
+do? Kill The Gentleman?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think we’re going to kill him right
+off the bat.
+
+SAM: Kill him!
+
+MARISHA: That feels a little premature.
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t even know who he is yet, right?
+
+SAM: Well, we could introduce ourselves and then
+kill him!
+
+LAURA: He could have a whole infrastructure of
+people supporting him and then they would come
+
+after us.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I want to know who he is, though.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Super interested to find out who this guy
+is. I feel like we should deal with one thing–
+
+I’m super focused on this current–
+
+TRAVIS: I am too.
+
+LAURA: I mean we could hang out in the lobby in
+this bar, and I could watch every person that
+
+comes inside. I could draw their picture and know
+every single patron that’s in here so that we have
+
+something to turn into the guards when we rat
+everybody out.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a very good idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, and I was thinking. So the three of
+us are down in the meeting.
+
+SAM: Who’s going down?
+
+TRAVIS: The three of us. Nott, if you could be
+outside, letting us know if any crownsguard or
+
+other surly types look like they’re coming in to
+raid the place, you send a Message, and then you
+
+two run interference if they actually make it
+inside the doors, in case we haven’t made it out yet.
+
+LAURA: Just be distracting!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, whatever you do, buy us some time.
+
+LAURA: We’re good at that.
+
+TALIESIN: We can be very distracting.
+
+TRAVIS: I believe you.
+
+MARISHA: Last thing we want is to take the fall
+for these assholes, whoever they are.
+
+TRAVIS: These Knights of Requital.
+
+LAURA: We will hang out up here and just be weird.
+
+MATT: You guys spend the remainder of the evening
+waiting for this to transpire, some patrons come
+
+in, some leave. You’re reading through the book?
+
+MARISHA: Read the book!
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, I have the “Tusk Love” too.
+
+MARISHA: You go back and forth.
+
+LAURA: I read it and I keep looking at Fjord
+like– and then go back and read it. I assume it’s
+
+about some sort of orc love.
+
+MATT: It is, actually.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughing) Damn it. Son of a bitch.
+
+MATT: It deals with the union of half-orc and the
+daughter of a traveling merchant as they meet on
+
+the Amber Road up near Druvenlode. It goes into a
+saucy union between the two, but they can’t,
+
+because what would the parents think? Yeah.
+
+LAURA: What’s the name of the half-orc?
+
+MATT: Uh–
+
+SAM: (laughing)
+
+MATT: Oskar. With a K. Oskar.
+
+TRAVIS: What you reading there, Jester?
+
+LAURA: Nothing, Oskar. Don’t worry about it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Oh man. Beau, as you’re reading through the
+book, it’s interesting. It begins to talk about
+
+the conflict between the Julous Dominion and the
+Dwendalian Empire.
+
+MARISHA: Conflict between the Julous Dominion?
+
+MATT: Yes, the Julous Dominion and the Dwendalian
+Empire. You’re uncertain– Make a history check?
+
+MARISHA: Dwendalian Emp.
+
+That’s good, 17.
+
+MATT: It begins to name generals and figures
+caught in this political conflict in the center.
+
+Remembering back to your studies, these names
+don’t ring a bell. Either they’re obscure or
+
+fictional for the purposes of the story. However,
+it does speak of a Crick assassin that had snuck
+
+its way past the borders during the conflict, and
+had attempted to take the life of a general named Theo.
+
+MARISHA: Theo, okay.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Theo!
+
+MATT: (as Bill Cosby) Rudy!
+
+LIAM: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: Ruined forever.
+
+MATT: Blame lots of Cosbys for that one. Sorry.
+The failed assassination attempt led to the
+
+capture of the assassin during, essentially, a
+test of wits between the general and this assassin–
+
+MARISHA: Okay, test of wits. Like, Dinner with
+Andre style?
+
+MATT: Kind of, yeah. The assassin’s been captured,
+removes the helmet, and behind is revealed to be–
+
+MARISHA: The assassin removed his helmet?
+
+MATT: The assassin’s helmet was removed by the
+general after being caught.
+
+LAURA: That’s the helmet we found in the
+graveyard!
+
+MATT: It’s not very good smut, at least at this
+point.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, am I writing down smut right now?
+
+TRAVIS, MATT, and LIAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Of course you are. In size 38 font in your
+fucking notebook.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on. Are you going into how Theo and
+the assassin had a thing?
+
+MATT: Yes. We’re getting there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, keep going. I’m into it, though.
+This has to be important!
+
+TRAVIS: Does it?
+
+MARISHA: He’s telling it to me!
+
+SAM: Just listen! Just listen!
+
+MATT: The assassin is revealed to be from the Kryn
+Empire of Xhorhas, with dark blue-purple skin,
+
+gray-white hair, and pointed ears of elvish
+lineage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: No, leave it alone. Stop.
+
+MARISHA: He’s a dark elf, right? Or a drow?
+
+MATT: She is. It’s a female dark elf. The armor is
+described to be chitinous, almost organic in its
+
+design, though metal. You learn a little bit. It
+goes into a discussion of the term “Crick.” The
+
+term “Crick” is actually a slur against the people
+that come from the Xhorhasian side of Wildemount.
+
+It’s short for cricket because supposedly when the
+Kryn armies charge into battle, there are designed
+
+holes and tubes in the armor that sounds like a
+flock of crickets rushing into battle.
+
+TRAVIS: Sick.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool.
+
+It’s meant as an intimidation tactic. It’s this high-pitched
+screaming cricket chirp that rushes in, so that’s
+
+where the term “Crick” comes from. It is used in a
+derogatory fashion towards individuals who live
+
+within the empire of Xhorhas and Kryn. The book
+talks about them dueling wits, finding common
+
+ground, and getting angry at each other and
+murderous, then turns into this torrid love affair
+
+in this very Anthony/Cleopatra feel to it. It’s
+very dry. It’s an older book. It doesn’t match
+
+some of the imaginatory flair of some of the other
+smut that you briefly perused as you were walking
+
+in the bookstore earlier. You glean a little bit
+of information, should this be accurate at all, of
+
+some of the relationships or dynamics of the
+empire and the Xhorhasian folk that live beyond
+
+the border.
+
+MARISHA: Would I be able to discern where the
+assassin entered into the city?
+
+MATT: No, it’s not a detailed historical book.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not like, “by the third lamppost,
+remove this brick.” Okay, cool.
+
+MATT: There we go.
+
+MARISHA: This book sucks.
+
+LIAM: How far in are you?
+
+MARISHA: Halfway, maybe.
+
+LIAM: How long have you been working on it?
+
+MARISHA: Couple hours.
+
+MATT: As the evening clocks in close to midnight
+and the majority of the patrons begin to dwindle
+
+and scatter into the night air, you watch as Ulog
+enters quietly, gives a nod of knowing towards the
+
+two of you, then, on his own, steps down into the
+cellar. About ten minutes or so later, you watch
+
+as Kara, the half-elf girl you had met before,
+enters, gives you a glance, but doesn’t
+
+acknowledge anything, orders a drink, leans
+against the wall, then eventually disappears down
+
+into the cellar as well. Later on, you watch as
+Dolan, the human you had spoke with, that seemed
+
+to be the one spearheading this meeting before,
+enters with another human male. They both look
+
+back and forth, acknowledge you guys. The two of
+them eventually splinter off to different sides of
+
+the room, waiting. One, and a few minutes later,
+the other down into the cellar area.
+
+TRAVIS: Did we recognize the other human male that
+he’s with?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Does he seem to be armed, or shady, or
+have lots of scars on his person?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. Hard to tell at this distance. You
+didn’t see any visible or apparent scars or
+
+anything that gave you a sense of shiftiness,
+other than the careful demeanor. It didn’t look to
+
+be a face of a rugged soldier, by any means.
+
+LAURA: Did it look like an undercover cop, trying
+to blend in?
+
+TALIESIN: How were his shoes?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: “How were his shoes.”
+
+TALIESIN: Like nice loafers?
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+MATT: Seems nervous, but not in a way that
+triggers your spider-sense, so to speak.
+
+SAM: Are you guys still up top? Okay, I’m going to
+go over to Fjord and say: You said that one of the
+
+members of their group is named Dolan?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right, yeah.
+
+SAM: If it comes up, no big, could you find out
+that guy’s last name?
+
+TRAVIS: Dolan’s last name?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. Any reason why?
+
+SAM: I know a guy named Dolan Taverski.
+
+TRAVIS: Taverski?
+
+SAM: I don’t really know, Taverski. I don’t know.
+I’ve heard it. Just find out his last name!
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. Is this guy from where you’re from
+or something? Old mate of yours?
+
+SAM: No, just have something of his.
+
+TRAVIS: Taverski. Would he know you if I was like,
+“Hey, friend of ours named Nott–”
+
+SAM: No, nope, would not know me.
+
+TALIESIN: Insight check, watching this?
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 total? You get no bead on the wild words
+that are coming out of her mouth.
+
+TALIESIN: What are– no, never mind.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll find out his last name. I’m sure he
+won’t mind.
+
+SAM: I’ll be up here. If I see anything
+suspicious, I’m going to Message you.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. Crownsguard, rough-looking
+types, people that are armed, right?
+
+You keep a fucking swivel.
+
+SAM: Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye out. I’ll be in
+disguise. I’m going to cast Disguise Self on
+
+myself, turning myself into a halfling with red
+hair, green eyes, a hawkish nose, overalls,
+
+thinning on top, too-big shoes.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s your best disguise yet.
+
+SAM: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: Nott? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot it was you
+for a minute.
+
+SAM: Call me a code name.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Tton.
+
+SAM: Tton. Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Tton it is.
+
+TRAVIS: Tton. Yeah.
+
+T-Ton.
+
+LIAM: The second T is silent.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go outside and stand at the
+front door.
+
+LAURA: Should we be outside too? Or should we stay
+inside?
+
+SAM: No, you’re supposed to stay inside. If I see
+anyone coming, you distract them.
+
+LAURA: How will we know if you see anyone coming?
+
+SAM: I will tell you with my Message spell.
+
+LAURA: Okay, you will Message us, and then you
+will Message the others?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I don’t use it a lot.
+
+LAURA: Can you do it twice?
+
+SAM: I think I can do it twice. I can do it twice.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, that’ll work then.
+
+LAURA: Then, we’ll just hang out in here and have
+some fun.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: You ready?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Let’s do this.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s see what they want to do.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Who all is going down? It’s you three?
+
+TALIESIN: Table one.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s these three jackasses.
+
+MARISHA: Table right.
+
+MATT: So you guys keep watch.
+
+As you descend into the cellar below, you
+can see there’s a table already set up with a few
+
+chairs around. There are two oil lamps that are
+turned low, and the four figures you saw enter are
+
+all sitting around, waiting. As you begin to
+descend, they give a knowing nod, and gesture to
+
+please take a seat.
+
+MARISHA: Is it just the four of them? No more?
+
+MATT: Just the four of them.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll take a seat.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we sit. It’s polite.
+
+MATT: As you enter, Dolan, the one who was leading
+before, sits up and goes, “I’m sorry– what, um–?”
+
+LIAM: Oh, I’m with my friends here, they’ve shared
+a bit of what is gone on here and I’m sympathetic.
+
+TRAVIS: We haven’t said too much, but we thought
+that he might be somebody you’d be interested in.
+
+Very clever, has no love for the Empire.
+
+MARISHA: A valuable asset. Good with… things.
+
+TRAVIS: Thought we could let you decide for
+yourself.
+
+MATT: They look to each other. “Have a seat.”
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, this is Dolan. Dolan, this is
+Caleb. Dolan, do you have a last name?
+
+MATT: They glance about. “Dolan Thrym.”
+
+MARISHA: Thrym.
+
+MATT: “This is Horris Thrym, my partner.” The man
+you saw enter earlier.
+
+MARISHA: The human male?
+
+MATT: Yes. “You know Kara and Ulog. What was your
+name again, you said?”
+
+LIAM: Caleb.
+
+MATT: “Caleb. Thank you very much for meeting us.
+
+LAURA: Is it just the four of them?
+
+MATT: Just the four of them.
+
+Ulog has been– and please, take no offense, we’re
+
+just very careful– keeping a very close eye on
+your activities since we last met. Bit of a scare
+
+as you entered the King’s Hall, but I’ve heard
+that you’ve done a bit of business, unrelated. He
+
+speaks to your skill and we may have–” He looks
+nervously over, and Horris leans forward and goes,
+
+“We put two months into planning something, and it
+requires certain skill sets. Ulog, if you’d like
+
+to elaborate on this.” The dwarf leans forward,
+pulls one of the lanterns closer, so all your
+
+faces brighten up just a bit. He turns the wick up
+a bit. “So we’ve intercepted some documents to
+
+Lord Sutan, one of the pretty faces and money
+grabbers over there in the Tri-Spire. Very
+
+politically connected. Apparently, he’s been doing
+some business with a lowlife who’s known in the
+
+more crown-based circles as one of those
+arrest-on-sight types. We believe this individual
+
+might be involved with The Myriad.
+
+ALL: (whispering)
+
+MATT: "We tried to bring this information
+to the Lawmaster, Orentha,
+
+as she is a friend of Dolan’s. However, we were
+intercepted by the High-Richter Prucine. She’s
+
+about as corrupt as you get in the structure here
+in Zadash. She intercepted it, so that she
+
+delivered the information. I’ve heard nothing
+since. A couple of our members have been closely
+
+watched by the Crownsguard ever since. So we
+believe the High-Richter might be in on it. We’ve
+
+decided if we can somehow turn Lord Sutan against
+the High-Richter, and then expose them to the
+
+Lawmaster, they’ll either be arrested or ousted
+from their positions. Which, one, would be victory
+
+for those who don’t want to live under the claws
+of corruption in this city. And two, vacates the
+
+position of High-Richter. While Horris’ practice
+may have been irrevocably damaged in the public
+
+eye, Dolan is a respected member of the society
+here. The locals at least. We believe that, if not
+
+the High-Richter himself, perhaps another position
+as things shift. It would behoove us–” Dolan puts
+
+his hand up and says, “It would be helpful to have
+at least one of us with an ear on the bead of the
+
+inner circle of how law is distributed within
+Zadash. While it is not my bailiwick, people seem
+
+to trust me, and I think that’s the most important
+thing when taking an office. We’ve outlined a
+
+means of doing so. This is where we may need your
+help.” Looks over to Kara, and the half-elf leans
+
+forward, “All right then, so, the current plan is
+to infiltrate the Lord Sutan’s estate in the
+
+Tri-Spire, steal a copy of his wax seal, and his
+handwriting. After we forge a little of the
+
+correspondence to this unsavory individual who he
+was speaking to in this letter, we make a new one
+
+that writes about an assassination of the
+High-Richter, sealed, and signed by the Lord
+
+Sutan. Then, we infiltrate the home of the
+High-Richter, tear apart her living space, look
+
+like it’s been tousled and tossed, like someone
+was seeking her while she was out for the night,
+
+at a local ball, which she’ll be one night from
+here. Before she returns to find her place
+
+destroyed, we take this letter that we found and
+left it, hidden within her room. She finds the
+
+letter, brings it to the Lawmaster–” At this
+point, Ulog pipes in real fast, “Sorry,
+
+misunderstood. She doesn’t get the letter. We
+deliver it ourselves to the Lawmaster. I don’t
+
+trust her to take it.”
+
+LAURA: (laughs) This is like us planning.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+MATT: You get the sense that they’re not the most
+organized or experienced at this, but they’re
+
+trying their hand at doing something that changes,
+hopefully, the status quo they’re used to. “So, we
+
+deliver the letter to the High-Richter, or the
+Lawmaster. I prefer the High-Richter in front of
+
+the Lawmaster, if we can get the two in the same
+room, so there’s no escape. We see her
+
+anger-infused, then they begin to create turmoil.
+Then, we expose them both, have them dropped or
+
+arrested, leaving the vacant spot, and they’re
+out.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I have one question. This Lord
+Sutan? What’s to keep the High-Richter and the
+
+Lawmaster from just going and snatching him up and
+putting him in chains?
+
+MATT: "Wait, from who?” Dolan puts his hand up and
+says, “I’m sorry, reiterate that?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, well, we’re going to forge this
+letter from Lord Sutan, right? Saying that there’s
+
+an assassination attempt against the Richter. We
+go to the Richter’s place, we tossle it, then we
+
+deliver a letter from Sutan, saying there was an
+attempt of the Richter’s life. So if I was the
+
+Richter, and I went to the Lawmaster, I’d just go
+disappear Lord Sutan. Your Richter will stay in
+
+his seat, and you’ll be short one Lord, if I’m not
+mistaken.
+
+MARISHA: Especially considering you said the
+Richter was already pretty corrupted. Seems like
+
+assassination attempts in reverse wouldn’t be out
+of her bailiwick.
+
+MATT: “What do you suggest, then?”
+
+MARISHA: Here’s my question to Dolan, why do you
+want– Horris wants to be in the office?
+
+MATT: No, Dolan is to be elevated. Horris is
+taking a back seat.
+
+TRAVIS: Horris, if you don’t mind me asking, what
+was your practice?
+
+MATT: “I was a physician.”
+
+TRAVIS: As well.
+
+MATT: “We had a practice together. One of us had
+to take the fall. I accepted it myself. Dolan
+
+couldn’t– Dolan has too much at stake.”
+
+MARISHA: Dolan, what makes you think that you can
+beat the system that you would then be joining?
+
+MATT: “Well, the system’s too big for us to
+deconstruct from the outside. At the very least, I
+
+can hope to improve it from the inside. I know the
+Lawmaster is a good woman. There are good people
+
+in there. But if we can root out the cancers, the
+tumors that threaten to make it what it is, and
+
+what it could become, that’s something. We have to
+try.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not shy of a conscience. I’m afraid
+I’d need to know a little bit more about this
+
+High-Richter Prucine. Hopefully, he’s a terrible
+individual.
+
+MATT: “She. And yes. She has been responsible–”
+Ulog, at this point, you can see his fingers
+
+gritting into the table. “She’s the one who put my
+wife in that blasted prison.”
+
+TRAVIS: I remember you saying that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, sorry about that.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, I hate to say anything else
+without seeing something for ourselves. You seem
+
+to have a good plan for getting rid of Sutan, but
+it seems you might need some further measures to
+
+get rid of this Richter as well.
+
+MATT: “We have been discussing that. If you have
+any suggestions, please.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, you could do a lot with a seal from
+a lord. A lot more than claiming an assassination
+
+attempt. Just throwing it out there.
+
+MATT: “Like?”
+
+MARISHA: Literally anything else.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you feel like the Empire, or the
+Lawmaster, is onto your group? Your Knights of
+
+Requital? Do they know your name?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you have already mentioned that some
+of your people were followed and eyed.
+
+MATT: “They don’t, to my knowledge, know of the
+group. Just some of the individuals.”
+
+LIAM: Which ones, specifically?
+
+MATT: “Well, there is Themond, but he’s left, and
+has not gone to a meeting since he’s started to be
+
+followed. He was the one who delivered the letter
+to the High-Richter. It was mainly– nothing
+
+directly related to our meetings and more just the
+delivery of our intercepted letter.”
+
+TRAVIS: I have a proposal for you. Are you one
+hundred percent sure that they haven’t heard of
+
+your name, Knights of Requital? How attached are
+you to that name?
+
+MATT: “Not. It wasn’t something we chose, it just
+emerged from our meetings.”
+
+TRAVIS: If you ever want someone to stop looking
+for something– they’ll stop as soon as they know
+
+that thing is gone, or dead. So how about we frame
+High-Richter Prucine as the head of this Knights
+
+of Requital and let the law handle it the way they
+will. And we’ll take care of Lord Sutan at the
+
+same time.
+
+MATT: They all look to each other, and back.
+There’s a little bit of a smile, curls across
+
+Horris’ face. He nods, “I think this is a pretty
+sound step in the right direction.”
+
+TRAVIS: I hate to do away with a great name, but
+you work with what you have.
+
+MARISHA: It’s an okay name.
+
+TRAVIS: You could workshop it.
+
+MARISHA: You could workshop it. There’s always
+more names.
+
+MATT: “Do we leave evidence of correspondence in
+the home of the High-Richter, then?”
+
+TRAVIS: Do you have any secret symbols? Or stamps
+or seals that you use for communication that we
+
+could plant in the house, or the place of dwelling
+of the High-Richter? A ring, a piece of jewelry?
+
+MATT: “No. We’ve been very careful not to do that.
+We could fabricate some.”
+
+MARISHA: There was also the notice on the King’s
+Hall looking for y'all. I don’t know if you knew
+
+that, by the way. I imagine a notice in one of
+these people’s houses might mean that they have
+
+concern of being found.
+
+TRAVIS: If we frame this the right way, it sure
+would do a lot for your ambitions to become that
+
+High-Richter, Dolan, if you were the ones to turn
+in the evidence.
+
+MARISHA: You could win twice.
+
+MATT: Dolan pipes up, “I’m worried about turning
+in evidence, because there’s nothing that could
+
+connect it to the spot. However, if we could plant
+evidence in the estate of the High-Richter, and
+
+convince the Lawmaster, I believe if we speak to
+her, she would at least do an investigation.
+
+They’d find this evidence in the home, in the
+right place. That could be enough.”
+
+TRAVIS: I think it would be.
+
+MARISHA: Now, the Lawmaster works under the
+High-Richter, right?
+
+MATT: “The Lawmaster works above the
+High-Richter.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. This will work.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You hear a (thump, hiss) as Ulog has pulled
+the cork of a small bottle of ale that was sitting
+
+there for a while, and begins to drink.
+
+TRAVIS: Is her name Kara?
+
+MARISHA: Kara, I think it’s Kara.
+
+TRAVIS: Kara, I like the enthusiasm you had about
+your plan. What sort of skills could you bring to
+
+this equation? Are you stealthy? Sneaky?
+
+MATT: “Honestly, more of a thinker. Ulog,
+however–” She points to the dwarf again, who has
+
+finished drinking, “Yeah, I used to run with some
+pretty shifty lot. Done a bit of burglary in my past.”
+
+MARISHA: I like that. Tell us about this Myriad, a
+little bit. What is it exactly that you guys are
+
+so nervous about with these people?
+
+MATT: “We’re not nervous about the Myriad, other
+than the fact that the Myriad’s a bunch of
+
+fuckheads that steal, enslave, and push all sorts
+of unsavory business. They’re the mirror side to
+
+the bullshit the Empire does. For all that, we
+want to make sure that if we can connect any of
+
+them to the Myriad, and Lord Sutan is definitely
+connected: two birds, one stone. But then we have
+
+to plant evidence in two.”
+
+TRAVIS: That can be done. We have other
+associates, upstairs. We didn’t want to encroach
+
+too much on your space. We’d like time to confer
+with them over the night, perhaps meet again
+
+midday tomorrow. We should find a new spot,
+though. Repetition is a recipe for disaster.
+
+MATT: Dolan sits back. “It’s a good point. Any
+recommendations?”
+
+TRAVIS: We’re actually quite new. Maybe you could
+provide one.
+
+MATT: He thinks for a moment. Through his
+paperwork.
+
+TRAVIS: Consult your paperwork.
+
+TALIESIN: Allow me to collect my additional
+notes.
+
+MATT: Shut up.
+
+SAM: “Shut up.”
+
+MATT: “How about The Song and Supper Inn?”
+
+TRAVIS: Song and Supper Inn?
+
+MATT: “It’s on the west side of the Interstead
+Sprawl.”
+
+SAM: The “SAS.”
+
+TRAVIS: How far from here? How much time to
+travel? Not far?
+
+MATT: “Maybe 40 minutes on foot.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. Shall we call it just after
+noon tomorrow?
+
+MARISHA: What name should we be looking for?
+
+MATT: They all look at each other. Kara leans
+forward, “Let’s say– The Inquiry.”
+
+TRAVIS: The Inquiry. It’s got a nice ring to it.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for trusting us. I believe we
+can make quite the impact with these movements.
+
+MATT: Dolan nods and smiles. Looks to Horris,
+looks to the other two. “Thank you. We’ve been
+
+needing more than just angry voices of
+half-enthused common folk. People of action are
+
+hard to find that seem to have a trusted heart.”
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give you one piece of advice, Dolan,
+though. I would challenge you to think about this
+
+for the night, think real long and hard, if you’re
+willing to jump into the ring. Some pretty
+
+high-ranking asshole gladiators. Should probably
+be willing to take a few licks. Shut up.
+
+SAM: (whispers) “Asshole gladiators.”
+
+LAURA: “Taking a few licks.”
+
+TALIESIN: Should’ve picked up a copy.
+
+I was trying to go “before you jump into the ring with
+Muhammad Ali” type of thing, but Muhammad Ali isn’t here.
+
+TRAVIS: You gotta pull up. Pull up!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, lick those gladiator assholes!
+
+MATT: Dolan’s stare goes a little distant as he
+tries to fully comprehend the gravity of your
+
+statement before slowly nodding.
+
+TRAVIS: You see Fjord shift his weight.
+
+MARISHA: You know, make sure you know what you’re
+getting into.
+
+MATT: “I will.”
+
+MARISHA: Awful people.
+
+MATT: “I will take that into consideration. Thank
+you.”
+
+MARISHA: Powerful tricks. That’s all.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that. And you, I guess as we
+begin to put this together, what are your
+
+specialties?”
+
+LIAM: I dabble a bit in the arcane, nothing too
+impressive, but a little more than nothing.
+
+MATT: “Good. Very well then, tomorrow afternoon,
+The Song & Supper.”
+
+TRAVIS: Would you like to exit first or should
+we?
+
+MATT: Ulog leans forward a bit and goes, “After
+you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Much obliged. I head out.
+
+LIAM: I’ll go along with Fjord.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+MATT: No strange behavior, there doesn’t seem to
+be any business or activity towards the back or
+
+the alley. Nothing that catches your eye to be
+suspicious or encroaching upon the meeting below.
+
+SAM: Everything’s okay!
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, louder than I thought it would be.
+Thank you, Nott.
+
+SAM: You can reply to this message.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, thank you for keeping an eye out.
+Would you like to join us inside?
+
+SAM: I can’t reply.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott? Would you like to– Hello?
+
+SAM: Six seconds. Yes! You can reply to this
+message!
+
+MATT: You all regather in the center of The Leaky
+Tap tavern.
+
+TALIESIN: You come from being touched by some kind
+of primordial chaos magic, something powerful,
+
+strange, creative, and bizarre. You’ve recently
+had everything turned upside down–
+
+LAURA: I really have!
+
+TALIESIN: And have started a new path. The path
+you are walking is not the one you were expecting.
+
+It’s not the one you’re going to find. It’s true!
+You are walking towards some destiny.
+
+LAURA: Does it say which one?
+
+TALIESIN: Just not the one you’re expecting.
+
+LAURA: This is weird.
+
+TALIESIN: I only did three cards.
+
+LAURA: These are really, really, really good.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: That’s a good fortune.
+
+SAM: Hello, strangers!
+
+LAURA: You have a booger on the tip of your nose.
+
+SAM: I’m just a traveling halfling!
+
+LAURA: Oh! I just told a random person they had a
+booger on the tip of their nose.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m just a random person.
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, you would tell a random
+person they have a booger on their nose.
+
+LAURA: You’re a random person with a really
+familiar voice, though. You need to talk to Fjord,
+
+and see if you can figure out how to sound different.
+
+SAM: All right, all right.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks for keeping an eye out.
+
+SAM: How did it go?
+
+MARISHA: Crazy!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, impressions?
+
+LAURA: You were down there a really long time.
+
+LIAM: What is the benefit for us?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, my takeaway is that they want to
+unseat some of the corrupted seats of power here
+
+in the city. If that’s true, if there is an abuse
+of power, I’m all for removing those corrupted
+
+seats and putting people of worth in their place.
+I’m also not keen on taking the word of someone
+
+else without getting some evidence of our own.
+
+MARISHA: I agree. Who knows? We can’t be replacing
+someone corrupt with someone even worse.
+
+LAURA: We should follow one of them.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we don’t know anything about this
+Dolan, this Horris’ motives, or their agenda.
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t. While we’re following them,
+perhaps we should try and find out what we can
+
+about this– Lean in closer. Closer. This
+High-Richter Prucine.
+
+LAURA: Have the ones downstairs already left?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know.
+
+MATT: At this point, you see Ulog make his way up
+and take a different table at the far corner. Then
+
+slowly, over the next 15 or so minutes, the other
+three exit the building.
+
+SAM: Want me to follow them?
+
+MARISHA: Should we go now?
+
+SAM: I’m going!
+
+LAURA: Wait, blessings!
+
+SAM: Oh, thank you!
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin after her.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check, please.
+
+LAURA: It’s like a dry skin. You got it!
+
+SAM: Thanks.
+
+TRAVIS: I couldn’t see it.
+
+LAURA: Stealth role. With advantage!
+
+SAM: Stealth role? Okay, not good. Worse. 18.
+
+MATT: Which one are you following? There’s the
+half elf–
+
+SAM: Do I know any of their names?
+
+MATT: There’s two human men and then there is the
+dwarf male.
+
+MARISHA: We would have told you the two humans.
+Two humans.
+
+SAM: The two humans. Are they traveling together?
+
+MATT: They are. You follow them for the next 20 or
+so minutes before they come to a modest home. It’s
+
+in a little bit of disrepair especially in the
+recent the recent storm; part of the roof is
+
+sinking inward a little bit. They enter, close and
+lock the door behind them. They glance through the
+
+window and they have a heated conversation back
+and forth. If you want to listen, then make a
+
+perception check.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+LIAM: I have a hand on Beau’s shoulder–
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+EVERYONE: Nine!
+
+MATT: It’s going to be a thing forever.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah it should be every time. It’s a rule.
+
+MARISHA: House rule.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to hear. It’s muffled; the wall’s
+thick. It’s not an argument, more of a lot of
+
+passionate conversation back and forth, some
+aggressive counter points to some sort of
+
+conversation. Eventually they both settle down
+with a bottle of wine, and you glance through the
+
+window. You see the one with the blond hair is
+sobbing into his arms at a table, and–
+
+SAM: This is a man?
+
+MATT: They’re both men. The other one has his arm
+around the other and consoles him. Looking inside,
+
+you see it’s a lot of books across the wall, you
+recognize there are some alchemical vials or other
+
+things that similar-type glass containers that can
+be utilized for that. Some dried roots are hanging
+
+from the wall. A lot of them appear to be
+medicinal in nature. After about 20 minutes or so
+
+of watching this, nothing strange catches your
+eye. It seems like two people winding down after a
+
+stressful day.
+
+LIAM: Are any of those books of an arcane nature,
+because I’m also looking?
+
+MATT: Make a perception roll for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: I’m looking through Frumpkin. Very bad.
+
+LAURA: She basically looks like a Pennywise, like
+a teeny Pennywise peeking through their–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, just a clown.
+
+MATT: Oh my god, it does!
+
+LIAM: Just an eight.
+
+MATT: It’s too hard to see from the outside. You
+can barely tell there are books there. The very
+
+low light there is inside, you can’t make out any
+details.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+It’s a single level house?
+Nothing fancy about it?
+
+MATT: Single level house, it might be two rooms.
+No, it’s not quite like impoverished, but it’s
+
+not–
+
+SAM: Any papers? Any weapons visible?
+
+MATT: You do see a heavy crook of some kind, like
+a staff with a big heavy wooden knot at the end.
+
+It can be used to defend oneself and also as a
+walking stick. A shillelagh if you will. You can
+
+see a general shortsword that is put on a belt
+that is hung on a wall, but nothing in there that
+
+is militarized.
+
+SAM: Okay. All right.
+
+I guess that’s all I can glean from this.
+I’ll knock on the door, and then run away before
+
+they can see.
+
+MATT: Immediately inside you hear some rustling
+and all the lights inside go out and it goes dark.
+
+You run away.
+
+SAM: Oh interesting.
+
+MARISHA: Actually, that was pretty cool. You
+learned something!
+
+SAM: I’ll go back and report to my friends. And
+that’s what I saw, Caleb, and the others of you
+
+who are not my friends, I’ll also tell. Just
+kidding guys, I love you.
+
+TRAVIS: You can drop that, uh–
+
+SAM: This is who I am now. I’m sure it’s run out
+by now.
+
+MATT: It lasts for an hour. It’s probably run out
+by now.
+
+TRAVIS: You know what we also need? I want some
+eyes on this High-Richter.
+
+MARISHA: I agree.
+
+TRAVIS: We should find out where she lives and how
+she treats people, see if the stories are true.
+
+LAURA: Maybe tomorrow morning we can go spy on her
+house.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, maybe we can even split a team,
+some people go and spy on the house, some people
+
+maybe go to the stockade, talk to the people she’s
+locked up?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. We might need to find out where she
+lives tonight, though.
+
+MARISHA: I’m down for that.
+
+TRAVIS: I should have asked, but I forgot.
+
+MARISHA: Well, is Ulog still sitting at the other
+table?
+
+MATT: At this point, he’s probably left. It’s been
+about an hour since you returned.
+
+LAURA: It’s hard to find that out without seeming
+suspicious, isn’t it?
+
+TRAVIS: No, the High-Richter is just an official.
+
+LAURA: But isn’t it weird to go, “Where does the
+High-Richter live?”
+
+TRAVIS: Not if you have official business with the
+Richter.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+MARISHA: At this hour?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s very urgent business.
+
+SAM: We could find out how the High-Richter treats
+people by posing as people in need.
+
+TRAVIS: Exactly what I was going to suggest.
+
+MARISHA: Interesting.
+
+LAURA: Let’s disguise ourselves.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we don’t need to, Caleb–
+
+SAM: As clowns?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, I did not catch all of the
+meeting that you went to the other night. Are they
+
+paying anything? Are we doing this for altruistic
+reasons?
+
+TALIESIN: That is a very good question. I second
+that question.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t do anything for altruistic
+reasons.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never done anything for free in my
+entire life.
+
+LIAM: So has anything been discussed in advance,
+is all I’m asking.
+
+MARISHA: Well, if this plan gets pulled off, and
+we help Dolan get in that seat of the
+
+High-Richter, than we suddenly have friends in
+high places. And I love an owed favor.
+
+TRAVIS: To answer Caleb’s question, we kind of
+forgot to discuss that part.
+
+MATT: You did.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re new at this. We will address that
+tomorrow, for sure, before we proceed any further.
+
+You’re right, there should be compensation.
+
+LAURA: Do you want the rest of us to go tomorrow,
+or do we still need to be look out?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I think we should all go. They should
+get a look at us as a whole, see who they’re
+
+dealing with, just in case there’s any shady
+shit.
+
+LAURA: Should we look like ourselves or other
+people?
+
+TRAVIS: What would you like to look like?
+
+LAURA: I don’t care.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s at your discretion.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll decide on the day.
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody feel like finding out where this
+High-Richter lives this evening?
+
+SAM: Yeah! Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it. How do we do that?
+
+(laughing)
+
+LAURA: Maybe we can ask the owner of here.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a great idea.
+
+MARISHA: Start there, why not?
+
+TRAVIS: Jester.
+
+LAURA: Yes?
+
+TRAVIS: Charm him, ask.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to go ask Claudia.
+
+MATT: It is about 1:00, 1:30 in the morning
+though.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s already that late.
+
+MATT: You guys met around midnight. So you can go
+try and wake up Claudia, if you’d like.
+
+LAURA: Claudia’s not awake?
+
+MATT: Not at the moment.
+
+TRAVIS: What about that big white dragonborn,
+maybe he knows?
+
+LAURA: Maybe the barkeep?
+
+MATT: Wessek is there. Wessek is sitting back,
+it’s a very slow night.
+
+LAURA: Hey, Wessek.
+
+MATT: “Hello, little blue girl, what can I do for
+you?”
+
+LAURA: How’s it going with you? It’s really late.
+
+MATT: “It is very late, and I’m sort of wondering
+what you’re bothering me with this late? I’m
+
+curious.”
+
+LAURA: Well, I just remembered that I was supposed
+to deliver a personal message to the High-Richter,
+
+and I can’t remember where they live. Do you
+know?
+
+MATT: “Sorry, I don’t.”
+
+LAURA: Do you know what area of town it would be
+in?
+
+MATT: “I couldn’t tell you. The High-Richter is
+pretty, well, pretty high up there.”
+
+LAURA: Probably like the Tri-Spires or something.
+
+MATT: “Most likely, or at least somewhere where
+it’s official. It’s my guess.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, that was a fun conversation, goodbye.
+
+MATT: “Goodbye!”
+
+MARISHA: Is The Pillow Trove still open?
+
+LAURA: The Pillow Trove is an inn, of course it’s
+open.
+
+MARISHA: We can try and ask there, huh?
+
+TALIESIN: Getting in would be a little tricky,
+you’d have to get by the guards.
+
+SAM: It’s 1:00 in the morning.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Perhaps we should rest tonight and
+plan this little needy-folk charade in the
+
+morning. We can always take the sewers into the
+Tri-Spires.
+
+MARISHA: I know, that’s what I was thinking.
+
+LAURA: (yawning) We totally can.
+
+LIAM: What did you say?
+
+LAURA: I said we totally can do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, you’ve mentioned you tried to get
+into the Tri-Spires and you had a disguise on, and
+
+it didn’t–
+
+LIAM: I did not have a–oh yeah. There is some
+sort of wards on the gates there. It’s something
+
+I’ve done 100 times in small towns. I tried to
+disguise myself, and there was nothing there, they
+
+saw right through it, and
+they were dicks about it.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you think it was just in that passage
+way or do you think it’s the entire Tri-Spire area?
+
+LAURA: I feel like that would be a really big
+enchantment to put on the the entire thing.
+
+LIAM: It is not the entire Tri-Spire, because–
+
+TRAVIS: The entire Tri-Spire?
+
+LIAM: No, not. Not Nott, it is not. I cased the
+smut shop, I looked for arcane things there and
+
+did not, well. But I was able to use my abilities.
+
+TRAVIS: That’ll be it. We use the sewers to get
+in, disguise ourselves, avoid detection, find out
+
+what we need to know.
+
+TALIESIN: I can work with this plan.
+
+LAURA: I like it.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we retire for the night?
+
+MARISHA and SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll head up to my room first and I’ll
+pull Molly up with me, because I need to have a
+
+word with him. Molly, listen. I can’t get over the
+fact that Nott was going through my stuff. I want
+
+to set a little bit of a trap.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you want to set some sort of trap or
+example for her?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I just want to see if she’s learned
+her lesson or not.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to put an object in the middle
+of the room with our door open, and we’re going to
+
+hide out of sight. You game?
+
+TALIESIN: This seems a little unfair.
+
+Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. I’ll use Minor Illusion to put in
+the middle of the room a bundle of buttons with a
+
+tall, shiny flask covered in jewels, right in the
+middle of the room.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we want to put down some ball
+bearings? I’ve got a big bag of them.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, I guess so. Once she’s in, we’re
+going to shut the door. I want to figure out what
+
+the fuck she’s sneaking around for.
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: So both of you guys go and hide? Stealth
+check from both of you.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+TALIESIN: 11.
+
+MATT: You have a passive perception of–?
+
+SAM: 12 or something? Right? Where is it?
+
+LAURA: Probably 13.
+
+MATT: No, passive perception I believe for you
+is–
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+MATT: As you all go to bed, what are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: Sleeping.
+
+MATT: You guys go to sleep–
+
+LIAM: Oh, wait, I knock on Jester and Beauregard’s
+door.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) What is it that you want, knocking
+on our door so late at night, Caleb?
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: You’ve been reading too much
+smut.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: No more Oskar for you.
+
+LAURA: What is it, Caleb?
+
+SAM: (sultrily) I brought my tusk.
+
+LIAM: You are turning in?
+
+MARISHA: Should I not?
+
+LIAM: No, by all means, but I have changed my
+mind. I feel guilty for discarding the book that
+
+you purchased for me and I was wondering if I
+could read it tonight, but only if you are going
+
+to bed.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, see what you can find. Have I
+finished it? I haven’t finished it.
+
+MATT: You haven’t finished it yet, but a little
+over halfway.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I’m going to read it before bed. It
+will take me about an hour. Good night.
+
+LAURA: (cackles) I think he was bragging at you.
+Good night, Caleb!
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give it to him, it’s fine. He needs
+a little self confidence, a little encouragement?
+
+MATT: Okay, you go read it. Nott, what are you
+doing?
+
+SAM: I feel the urge to go sneak into a room.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s just an open door with a bunch of
+buttons and a flask in it.
+
+SAM: It’s not even locked?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+SAM: Oh, well, I’ll push it open and look inside.
+What do I see?
+
+MATT: It’s empty, it’s dark, except for you see
+this– Actually, make a– Let me check one thing
+
+on this. Just to see how this works in this
+circumstance.
+
+MARISHA: Lot of great shirts in the store. Great
+shirts.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: I mean, what is this? What is this roll?
+
+LAURA: That is majorly cocked.
+
+SAM: Okay, good.
+
+SAM and LAURA: (groan)
+
+LAURA: You should have taken the cocked.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+MATT: There you see a shining bag of glittering
+coin and buttons spilling out of the top of this
+
+small satchel.
+
+SAM: Why would this even be here? And a flask on
+top? Wow! Do I see Fjord’s belongings over near
+
+his bed?
+
+MATT: Yes, you do.
+
+SAM: I’m going over there.
+
+TRAVIS: As soon as she comes in the door, the door
+slams shut. Molly, get the window!
+
+TALIESIN: Right!
+
+SAM: I draw my hand crossbow!
+
+TRAVIS: Nott–
+
+SAM: Are you an imposter?!
+
+TRAVIS: No. We are going to have a talk. Don’t try
+any funny business. Why are you trying to sneak
+
+through our stuff?
+
+SAM: I would never do that to a friend!
+
+TRAVIS: Molly told me! Molly told me you were in
+here rifling through my stuff.
+
+SAM: I was hungry. There’s a definite explanation
+for this.
+
+TRAVIS: What were you looking for?
+
+SAM: Seafood. You must have some on you; you’re of
+the sea. I love shrimp, and I never get a chance
+
+to get any, we’re so landlocked in here. I love
+the taste of the sea!
+
+TRAVIS: Do I believe her?
+
+MATT: You can go ahead and make an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+SAM: I was not looking for shrimp.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Nott, dear? Why don’t you tell the nice
+man the truth? Devil’s Tongue.
+
+SAM: Oh! What is that? What does that do? What is
+that?
+
+MATT: I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s why I brought you in here.
+
+SAM: Wisdom? Ten.
+
+MATT: You are charmed by Mollymauk.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+MATT: Meaning, you’re very friendly and amiable,
+and take his advice and suggestions like a very
+
+dear friend.
+
+TALIESIN: Probably should just tell him what you
+were really looking for.
+
+SAM: I was looking for your letter to the Soltryce
+Academy.
+
+TRAVIS: My letter? But, Nott, why?
+
+SAM: (whispering) I want it.
+
+TALIESIN: What for? It’s fine, no one’s in
+trouble.
+
+SAM: I want to give it to Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, why? What would Caleb do with it?
+
+SAM: What you would do with it. Study, learn
+magic, become more powerful.
+
+TRAVIS: You wouldn’t want me to have that sort of
+ability, you’d rather Caleb have it?
+
+SAM: I don’t know a lot about magic, but I know he
+has the potential to be very powerful.
+
+TRAVIS: You do?
+
+SAM: And I need him to be.
+
+TRAVIS: Why, Nott? Why do you need him to be
+powerful?
+
+SAM: So he can save me.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, we can help save you, that’s
+what friends do. Any of us who get more powerful
+
+can help you.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, what do you need to be saved from?
+
+SAM: (sighs) So much. So much. But mainly, there’s
+a lot of dangers in the world, and a lot of
+
+dangers for me, and especially the closer we get
+to the north? I think? They don’t like me up
+
+there. He can protect me.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we can all do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Absolutely.
+
+SAM: No. No, you can’t.
+
+TRAVIS: (clears throat) Nott, I hope you will
+learn to trust us and rely on us like you do
+
+Caleb. We may not be as powerful as he is, or has
+the ability to become, but certainly we can help
+
+you. Are you worried about something or someone in
+particular finding you?
+
+SAM: Maybe. Yes, there’s a few people that I’m
+worried about, but no one specific where we’re
+
+going. I know that people are always trying to get
+me, and (stammering) I wish– I need his magic to
+
+be there for me when I need safety. I need him. I
+need him to live.
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. I’m sorry if we’ve upset
+you.
+
+SAM: No, you’re cool for some reason right now.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re all friends.
+
+TRAVIS: Not for some reason, I’m just cool in
+general, Nott. I’m just cool in general, Nott.
+
+SAM: So cool.
+
+TRAVIS: This shit is amazing.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not going to last, you do know
+that. It’s not going to last.
+
+TRAVIS: Just for now, though.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, enjoy it while you have it.
+
+TRAVIS: Promise me that you will not go through my
+things anymore when I’m not around, and that the
+
+items that I have belong to me?
+
+SAM: Will you give me the letter? I could change
+your name on it to his name, and then he could use
+
+it to get into the school, and he could learn more
+powerful magic and then he could change me.
+
+TRAVIS: Change you?
+
+SAM: He could change this.
+
+TRAVIS: (clears throat) I understand. I know what
+it feels like to be ashamed or worried about what
+
+you look like. I do.
+
+SAM: But you’re pretty handsome for a half-monster
+thing. (whispering) I think Jester likes you.
+
+TRAVIS: You think so?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I didn’t always look like this.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+TRAVIS: I wasn’t always a handsome half-monster
+thing.
+
+SAM: What did you use to be?
+
+TRAVIS: A kid, just like anyone else.
+
+SAM: Still a monster thing, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh. Just a less handsome one.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Stumpy, short. Big teeth.
+
+SAM: Were you a fat kid?
+
+TRAVIS: Little bit. Just sort of mis-proportioned.
+Listen, if we get to the–
+
+SAM: Do you have any pictures or–?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: If my MySpace is still up, you could see
+them. Goes back a tick.
+
+SAM: Did you ever have braces or anything?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. No, I did my own dental work.
+Listen, if we get to the Soltryce Academy and that
+
+letter doesn’t do me any good, I promise, you
+could have it and we’ll make sure Caleb has a
+
+shot.
+
+SAM: Will you promise to keep Caleb alive?
+
+TRAVIS: Most definitely.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to try and keep both of you
+alive.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: You look out for us, we’ll look out for
+you.
+
+SAM: Can I ask you one favor?
+
+TRAVIS: You cannot have my stuff.
+
+SAM: All right. Never mind.
+
+TALIESIN: Remember, Nott, that next time you try
+and do this and if that letter goes missing again,
+
+I can do this to you again. I give her just enough
+of a knock on the head to break the spell.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, easy! Easy! Open up the door! I open
+the door and I slowly open it up like trying to
+
+funnel a rat out of the room. Here you go.
+Remember what we talked about.
+
+SAM: I reach for the flask.
+
+Fuck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I stick my foot out right when she runs
+by.
+
+MATT: Oh, man. Make an acrobatics check.
+
+TRAVIS: You should be fine.
+
+SAM: Acrobatics check? 12.
+
+MATT: 12? That’s enough. As you’re darting
+through, you see the foot go out, and you leap,
+
+tumble, roll and make your way into the hallway
+and escape back to your chambers.
+
+TRAVIS: Man, that was more than I thought.
+
+TALIESIN: That was very interesting.
+
+TRAVIS: What do you make of all that?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I don’t know. People are strange.
+Anyone who looks like us, you collect a few
+
+interesting enemies on the way, even at her age.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you praying over your swords tonight?
+
+TALIESIN: Of course. Every night.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Can I join you?
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+LIAM: Come on, I’m just putting up the thread,
+come to bed. Come to bed.
+
+SAM: Do you trust Fjord and Molly?
+
+LIAM: No. No, I don’t.
+
+SAM: Me neither.
+
+LIAM: (poof) Alarm.
+
+LAURA: And then Oskar falls in love with her! And
+he carries her across a field, and they love each
+
+other so much!
+
+MARISHA: That’s so great.
+
+LAURA: It’s the most beautiful story, Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Can we go to sleep, now?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the hard turn!
+
+MATT: You guys all eventually find yourselves to
+rest for the evening, awaking in the early
+
+morning. The chilled morning air comes through.
+The sky: still mostly gray, with patches of blue
+
+that poke through. No rain, it’s still a little
+chilled. There’s a bit of fog burning off by the
+
+time you awaken and look out your room’s window.
+The morning is yours, what do you wish to do?
+
+LIAM: I go to Jester and Beauregard’s room and
+say–
+
+LAURA: (sultrily) Oh, you’re back again already,
+Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Good morning, sleepy heads! I leave the book
+leaning against the door.
+
+TRAVIS: Killed it in one night. Damn.
+
+MATT: All righty. The rest of you gather–
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Downstairs.
+
+MATT: You have your morning breakfast.
+
+MARISHA: Did you find anything good in this?
+
+LIAM: Did I find anything good in it?
+
+MATT: More reinforcing more of what was there.
+Because a lot of the information about Xhorhasian
+
+society is still largely unknown or uncatalogued,
+you get the sense the more you read, and the more
+
+the perspectives of this assassin’s left across
+the way, you’re uncertain as to how accurate any
+
+of it is– but it talks of a torturous society of
+bloodshed and beasts, a– I got an eyelash in my
+
+eye, that’s great.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that’s the worst.
+
+MATT: There we go. Okay, we’re good. Talking of
+this terrible life of endless wastes of
+
+carnivorous and cannibalistic creatures and that
+the Crick nation being this terrible place of
+
+perpetual inner turmoil, and vying for the next
+position of power. The assassin that falls into
+
+this relationship falls into it as perspective of
+being saved, of being taken from this terrible
+
+place and brought into the good graces of this
+General, and brought into the comforting realm of
+
+the Empire. However, upon being discovered, ends
+up being captured, tried, and killed. The last
+
+part of the book deals with the General going
+through his own grief and the process, but also
+
+understanding it never could be, and was probably
+for the best. You’re left with a unsatisfied meh
+
+feeling at the end of it all.
+
+TRAVIS: Would you call it a blue balls feeling?
+
+MATT: Kind of.
+
+LIAM: There was a lot more historical fiction in
+it than actual pornographic content, I was
+
+surprised.
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t really ultimately matter, but
+I feel like that was like a toxic relationship. I
+
+didn’t really feel like the assassin and Theo
+should have– I mean, he led to her death. That
+
+kind of sucks.
+
+LIAM: Feels like it’s weighing on you. It’s
+amazing what a good book can do, it gets its grips
+
+into you.
+
+SAM: Are we a book club now?
+
+TRAVIS: Morning, Nott.
+
+SAM: Yeah, morning.
+
+LAURA: What’s wrong? Did you guys get into a
+fight?
+
+TALIESIN: Nott is just upset because she was
+trying to do a little reading last night as well.
+
+MARISHA: Did you get a book?
+
+SAM: Not exactly.
+
+LAURA: Here, Nott. You can read this now.
+
+SAM: Which is this one?
+
+LAURA: That’s the Tusk Love.
+
+SAM: All right!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: So we set out our plan. Sewers. Make
+ourselves look like poor folk. Make our way into
+
+the Tri-Spire.
+
+LAURA: Not poor folk, rich folk.
+
+SAM: Oh wait, no, but we’re seeking help of the
+Richter.
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t matter, we can’t be poor folk in
+the Tri-Spire. We need to be rich folk that need
+
+help from the Richter.
+
+SAM: Okay, that’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, because if we come out looking like
+rats, then out we will go.
+
+SAM: Upper middle class? Lower middle class?
+
+TRAVIS: Upper middle.
+
+LAURA: Very high middle if not low upper.
+
+TRAVIS: Medium well?
+
+SAM: We’re a family that is down on our luck,
+because–?
+
+LAURA: Like a warm, pink center.
+
+SAM: What’s our cover story? What’s the ruse here?
+We need help from the government because bandits
+
+have taken over our house?
+
+LAURA: Yes! Oh! Yes, how about we have a trading
+company! How about some of our wares got stolen on
+
+the road on the way to Zadash by a group of
+bandits?
+
+SAM: Oh! We know things, why don’t we pose as like
+Trostenwald brewers or something and our brew
+
+shipment– I’m spitballing– got stolen by someone
+and we need help to get it back!
+
+TRAVIS: Do we know if the High-Richters normally
+rule on or govern over?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I was going to ask if the two empire
+kids know about that position.
+
+MATT: You know that the High-Richter is the
+associate judge to the Lawmaster. The Lawmaster
+
+oversees very high profile judgments, and then
+anything that falls below anything high-profile.
+
+MARISHA: Circuit judge.
+
+MATT: Circuit judge, is what the High-Richter is.
+Things go through the High-Richter first before
+
+they go to the Lawmaster. They gauge what is
+important enough for the Lawmaster and what
+
+remains in their circle, which is why you can see
+the frustration with anything that they try to
+
+bring forth that may have been incriminating to an
+ally of the High-Richter could be easily caught in
+
+that net and not brought upward.
+
+MARISHA: I have this inventory sheet that I got
+from the Baumbauchs, we could use this as claims
+
+that it got stolen. And hope for reimbursement.
+
+SAM: Stolen by someone in the government?
+
+TRAVIS: Or stolen by the Baumbauchs? I mean, if we
+do something that a family within the Tri-Spire
+
+needed representation, the law upheld, but the
+Richter turned an eye because a more powerful
+
+family was winning out, then that person is shit.
+
+MARISHA: This is like an order invoice that I
+have, right?
+
+MATT: The order ledger or you mean the letter?
+
+MARISHA: No, the order ledger.
+
+TRAVIS: From the brewery, that we took in session
+zero.
+
+MATT: Right, you’re not talking about the letter
+from Baumbauch from the Gentleman, right?
+
+MARISHA: No, but in that I have an order ledger?
+
+MATT: Yes, there is.
+
+MARISHA: So we could claim that he never paid due
+and we are looking for some sort of representation
+
+to try and get our money from the Baumbauchs?
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t understand any of that.
+
+LAURA: I have a forgery kit, you guys!
+
+SAM: What are we forging?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if he would hold sway, but if
+he doesn’t pursue justice, for someone of the
+
+Tri-Spire, that should tell us enough. The
+Baumbauchs are very influential and powerful.
+
+LIAM: Yes, that’s true.
+
+LAURA: We could change the name of the Baumbauchs
+to something else.
+
+SAM: We could be the Baumbauchs.
+
+TRAVIS: What do you think, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I honestly don’t understand any of
+this.
+
+MARISHA: Does it say on the ledger the company
+that it came from? Does it say like from Dryer
+
+Supply and Co.?
+
+TALIESIN: What accent was that?
+
+LAUREN: Dwarven.
+
+MARISHA: Me! Me being an asshole.
+
+MATT: The Timalt Store House.
+
+MARISHA: The Timalt Store House.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: Doesn’t Timalt make hardware?
+
+MARISHA: So it can be from the Timalts.
+
+SAM: The Baumbauchs stole our stuff?
+
+MARISHA: They never paid due on the order that we
+sent them.
+
+SAM: Do we even know the Baumbauchs are here?
+
+MARISHA: No, they’re in Trostenwald.
+
+SAM: Why would we be claiming something here? We
+need to be claiming from a family that’s here.
+
+MARISHA: Timalt is from here, right?
+
+MATT: Timalts are in Zadash.
+
+MARISHA: They are in Zadash. They made a
+shipment.
+
+TRAVIS: If the High-Richter doesn’t say, “You’re
+right, this is injustice, let’s take it to the
+
+Lawmaster,” then that Richter sucks.
+
+LIAM: She could be a lazy ass.
+
+MARISHA: Regardless, it’s just a story so we can
+get a bead on her, right?
+
+LIAM: Sure.
+
+LAURA: What if we say, “We’re from the Timalt
+Company, they never paid our invoice, and they
+
+stole our puppies!”
+
+MARISHA: That’s not bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Puppy crime.
+
+LAURA: That’s how we would know that it was a bad
+guy. Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: So they stole from our invoice and they
+took all our Saint Bernard puppies.
+
+LAURA: Yes, and it is very sad.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+MATT: It’s mid-morning. 10:00.
+
+TRAVIS: What time, exactly, of the day?
+
+MATT: 10:13 a.m.
+
+LIAM: Caleb said.
+
+MARISHA: Is it early enough to where, on my way
+there, I can pick up my custom coat?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can do that.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Especially since it just rained, so the
+sewer will be really damp.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, god!
+
+MARISHA: Are we trying to go through the sewer?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we have to.
+
+LAURA: To get all of us through.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, let’s pick up your cloak and make
+our way.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we still have the writ, or is the
+writ gone?
+
+MATT: The writ was retrieved.
+
+TALIESIN: Never mind, that’s fine.
+
+MARISHA: We can still find the back sewer entrance,
+have Nott pop the lock, and we know how to go.
+
+TRAVIS: Why didn’t we try to forge a writ,
+damn it?
+
+LAURA: Who all can make disguises for themselves?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh! I can figure it out.
+
+MARISHA: With my coat, kind of-ish?
+
+LAURA: You can cover up your face, at least.
+
+MATT: Mmkay, so you guys make your way back to the
+same sewer entrance where you originally embarked
+
+below. There are two crownsguard in the vicinity,
+they’re keeping watch of that intersection, just
+
+like they were last time. They haven’t noticed
+your approach yet, but they are keeping an eye.
+
+MARISHA: We’re going to have to distract them.
+
+TRAVIS: I could have one of them beat the shit out
+of the other one.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh!
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do that. I cast Crown of Madness on
+one of the guards.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not going to go poorly.
+
+MARISHA: Yes! So into this!
+
+MATT: Okay!
+
+TRAVIS: Hopefully from an area where they don’t
+see me casting it.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no!
+
+LAURA: Blessing of the Trickster! Advantage!
+
+TRAVIS: 14!
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I have advantage? Nah.
+
+TALIESIN: 14!
+
+MATT: As you hide off on the side, you focus and
+then concentrate on one of the two crownsguard. As
+
+the magic begins to slowly filter around the
+outside of the face, the brief little motes of
+
+shadow begin to be plucked from the space and
+gather around the outside of its head.
+
+Unknowingly– what’s your spell DC? That’s a ten.
+It’s higher than ten, I’m pretty sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it is! 14.
+
+MATT: All of a sudden, the guard (grunts) and
+you watch as these motes fit faintly around the
+
+outside, like this floating crown on the top of
+the head. You force him to attack the other?
+
+TRAVIS: Kick his ass, sea bass.
+
+MATT: The guard (grunts) grabs his blade, runs
+forward. The other guard is like, “Hey, what–
+
+oh!” (screams) Pulls his shield up. “What’s going
+on?! David, what the fuck are you doing?!”
+
+TRAVIS: Nott! Quick, let the lock on the sewer
+thing, let’s go!
+
+SAM: Oh, I’m doing something?
+
+LAURA: No, we don’t have to, it’s not locked.
+
+SAM: What are we doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I thought it was locked!
+
+LIAM: Let’s find out!
+
+MATT: It’s going to make another save. It’s a two,
+it’s still holding.
+
+MARISHA: Is the sewer locked?
+
+MATT: The gate? It is locked.
+
+SAM: Okay, then I’ll pick it!
+
+MATT: Everyone’s attention right now is directly
+on this as one crownsguard is attacking the other.
+
+SAM: What am I doing?
+
+MATT: It’s plus six.
+
+SAM: Seven. No, nine.
+
+MATT: Nine. It’s not coming off, it’s not
+opening!
+
+SAM: Break it!
+
+MATT: He attacks the other guard, he’s screaming,
+“Get help!” No, it’s an 11. What’s your spell DC?
+
+TRAVIS: 14!
+
+LAURA: I try to break the gate, I try to pull the
+gate! I’m trying to pull it open.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check. Roll a d20, add your
+strength modifier.
+
+LAURA: Oh, 17!
+
+MATT: (ping) You actually break it with your bare
+hands, leaving an opening.
+
+LAURA: Go, go, go!
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody in!
+
+MATT: There’s a scream starting to happen, you
+guys start running in, one after another. Guard
+
+gets one more saving throw. 13, what’s your–?
+
+TRAVIS: 14!
+
+MATT: 14?! Shit! The other guard is now wrestling
+him to the ground, and he’s trying to hold him to
+
+the ground. “What the fuck?!” You hear screams
+going off around now this ruckus is gathering in
+
+the center as people are starting to yell. You can
+hear in the distance other crownsguard yelling and
+
+starting to gather in the middle of this chaos as
+you all get down in the sewer, and pull it shut.
+
+MARISHA: That was awesome!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I might’ve fucked that thing up.
+
+LAURA: Keep going!
+
+LIAM: We’re going to be quiet in the sewers
+because there’s things down here.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, avoid all the rat balloons!
+
+LIAM: They were everywhere the last time.
+
+MATT: You hear all the ruckus up there, echoing
+down inside and other footsteps coming through and
+
+you hear this guy going, “I am so sorry, I don’t
+know what was happening! Ow, that hurts! I don’t
+
+know what’s–” and you hear he’s being held to the
+ground now, and people are shouting and, oh man.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, that guy is definitely arrested.
+
+MATT: That guy’s going to have a bad day!
+
+TRAVIS: He might get demoted, a couple day’s pay.
+
+LIAM: He is going to be about 12 inches shorter.
+
+TRAVIS: No, come on!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a stealth check, guys.
+
+All of you guys make a stealth check.
+
+LAURA: You still have the blessing. Does anybody
+else need a blessing?
+
+MARISHA: We’re all rolling stealth?
+
+TRAVIS: Ten.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MARISHA: 22.
+
+MATT: Okay. At a mass majority, you do slip around
+the same area where you had the original
+
+confrontation, you do see some more of those rats
+scattered about, but you manage to quickly dart
+
+by. In a few moments, you hear a (hiss) turn as
+they notice something, but they go in the
+
+direction, as you go in to move past. Some of them
+shift in where you were but no longer where you
+
+are. The blind rats are going by the sound and
+being misled a bit, so you manage to maneuver
+
+around without any immediate conflict. Eventually,
+you make your way back to where those webs were
+
+situated before the phase spider’s little domain
+there at the edge. Still in tatters, untouched from
+
+where you left it. You head back to the rung and
+you can see the entranceway into the Tri-Spire District.
+
+TRAVIS: Did not think about what to do once we got
+into this part of the plan.
+
+SAM: We need to disguise ourselves.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, yeah.
+
+SAM: Then we go up there and then find out where
+the Richter lives and then pitch our really
+
+ill-thought out plan to them. This is going to be
+great.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! I cast Disguise Self. Very long
+black cloak with gold trim, like a nice trim
+
+goatee and slicked back jet black hair. Piercing
+blue eyes, nice looking human.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take the brown side of my newly
+purchased reversible coat, take out my Brewer’s
+
+Kit that I have, and take a few of the bottles and
+fashion them to my waist a little bit?
+
+SAM: Disguise Self. Same exact thing as Fjord,
+except longer hair, shorter mustache.
+
+MATT: Perfect!
+
+TRAVIS: Cloak, gold trim?
+
+SAM: Yeah, everything. Shorter, but female, just a
+little outline for the mustache.
+
+MATT: You’re like the pallbearer to the undertaker
+of Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Great analogy!
+
+MATT: Thank you! Anybody else making any effort or
+are you just doing your thing?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Disguise Self and I’m
+going to be tan, short, elven woman in a royal
+
+blue lace dress, very similar to the one the lady
+was wearing, with the cut out. And soft medium
+
+hair, pulled back in waves.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to put the hood up and stay in
+the back.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I make myself look like the male version of
+the elven woman that Jester did in a similar high
+
+collared clothing.
+
+MATT: Perfect. This is great.
+
+TRAVIS: Fated to do well.
+
+SAM: We’re a normal family!
+
+MATT: The moment you climb up the top– did you
+leave it locked? Did you lock it behind you as
+
+you–
+
+SAM: I don’t know, you tell me.
+
+LAURA: No, we didn’t. I don’t think we did.
+
+MATT: I think you left it unlocked. It wouldn’t
+have been a huge issue. You’re not in danger.
+
+We’ll say you left it unlocked because you
+intended to possibly use it again in the future.
+
+You head back, push the two pipes, and you all
+climb back into the alleyway. You are now in the
+
+Tri-Spire district.
+
+MARISHA: Awesome. Okay, let’s ask around and find
+where this Richter lives.
+
+MATT: Walking around the city, you see a few
+crownsguard wandering the streets, they
+
+occasionally put a glance to not recognize you
+wandering, but don’t pay immediate attention. You
+
+do see one gentleman, early 60s or so, who’s
+wearing this nice frilled shirt with heavy brass
+
+buttons down the front with this potbelly that’s
+tucked in with a belt, breeches that go past the
+
+knee before his boots hit, and he’s walking in the
+street, strutting a bit, looking up. He’s the
+
+first person you see that crosses your path that
+looks like they probably know the vicinity.
+
+SAM: Want me to go talk to him?
+
+TRAVIS: Hello sir, excuse me.
+
+MATT: “Yes, can I help you?”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry to bother you, we have business
+with the High-Richter. Is there a chance that you
+
+could point us in his direction– her direction.
+
+MATT: “Well, that is the High-Richter’s estate. I
+do not know if she is home. She may be at the
+
+King’s Hall.”
+
+TRAVIS: I really don’t care, we’re just delivering
+a parcel.
+
+MATT: “Very well. Let’s see. Dayana’s estate is
+right around that way.” He points. You see that he
+
+has this thin, white John Waters mustache across
+the top that turns into this light goatee right at
+
+the tip of the chin. As he points over, you can
+see, “Right on the outskirts of the Gilded
+
+Willows– that one.” He points again.
+
+TRAVIS: Wonderful, thank you for your time.
+
+MATT: “It was my pleasure.” He continues walking
+on his way.
+
+LAURA: I walk like him.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, your mustache is much nicer.
+
+SAM: Thank you, honey.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know what a mime is? You just mime
+this mission.
+
+SAM: Okay. There’s a fierce wind, I’ve got to–!
+Oh no! I’m in a box! Oh no! The box is getting
+
+smaller! Don’t worry, I’ll climb out!
+
+LIAM: Nott, what Fjord is implying is– you know
+how I can make myself look like anything?
+
+SAM: I’m not an idiot!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: Approaching the homestead that was pointed
+out by that gentleman earlier, the homestead is
+
+surrounded by a seven-foot tall stone and mortar
+wall that tightly crowds the perimeter. This is
+
+only maybe a three-foot space between the wall and
+the actual home. You see that the two-story home
+
+is painted in a forest green color on the outside
+of the wood and stone built structure. You can see
+
+that there is a front archway to the door that
+goes beyond the wall. There is a small gate.
+
+Beyond that, there is the front door to the estate
+where there is a stationed crownsguard.
+
+LAURA: This looks really well fortified.
+
+SAM: We’re just going to walk up and ask for–
+
+TRAVIS: Ask for an audience, yeah. Maybe if we say
+that we were sent by the Lawmaster, for the
+
+High-Richter to make a ruling.
+
+SAM: Should we leave anyone out to be ready to
+help if anything goes wrong?
+
+TRAVIS: Good instinct, what do you think?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. Caleb, what do you think?
+
+LIAM: Well, you’re always good to have hidden away
+in case something goes squirrely. So definitely
+
+you. Maybe me as well.
+
+SAM: Maybe.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, I’d like you to come.
+
+LAURA: I want to come. (with an accent) I want to
+come.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. Molly, what do you want to do?
+
+TALIESIN: I think I am a very reasonable personal
+assistant to anyone who is trying to make a deal.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. What would your name be in this
+situation?
+
+TALIESIN: Do we have to have names?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just trying to think ahead.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, fine. Erikson.
+
+TRAVIS: Lovely.
+
+MARISHA: Lawrence is great. Worked for me before.
+
+TRAVIS: Lawrence?
+
+MARISHA: Actually, no. Let’s do something else,
+considering I already used Lawrence once.
+
+SAM: It’s just a fucking name, pick anything!
+Sorry.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Do you need a drink?
+
+SAM: Yes, I do. I had a terrible night last
+night.
+
+LAURA: How about Marge?
+
+MARISHA: Francis. Francis Titmalt– Timalt, not
+Titmalt.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you staying out here with Nott, Caleb,
+or are you going to come in? If we make it in.
+
+LIAM: If you make it in? No, I’m going to stay
+with Nott. I will be back-up. You’re a good
+
+talker. We don’t need two good talkers.
+
+SAM: What about the cat?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Oh, cat?
+
+SAM: How will we know what’s going on inside?
+
+LAURA: They don’t like cats here in the
+Tri-Spire.
+
+LIAM: I think that we’re hidden away in case
+things go bad with the crownsguard. After that
+
+then they’re on their own, I think.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. Wish us luck.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: I walk up to one of the two crownsguard
+outside the door.
+
+LAURA: I follow behind him.
+
+MARISHA: Super official.
+
+LIAM: Be careful, twinnie.
+
+MATT: There is actually only one crownsguard at
+the front door, behind the gate. As you approach,
+
+arms crossed–
+
+TRAVIS: “Yes, please, look lively, unfortunately
+we’ve been sent here from the Lawmaster, we have
+
+some very urgent business with High-Richter
+Prucine. Please, if you wouldn’t mind, would you
+
+fetch her?”
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Glad you fixed that. The guard goes, “Oh,
+I– Just a second,” goes and opens the door,
+
+leaning inside. “High-Richter, you have guests out
+front.” A voice goes, “Tell them to wait a moment.”
+
+LAURA: I like her already.
+
+MATT: A moment passes. The crownsguard steps out
+of the way and you see emerge from the doorway an
+
+older female half-elf with dark red-purple hair
+that is short on the sides and brushed to one
+
+side, almost to a point. She has a gaunt, angular
+appearance, and is in the process of putting on
+
+ceremonial gold and white armor, similar to what
+you had seen on the Herald of the Hall, but a more
+
+elaborate design, and taken from the process of
+buckling together a brace. She walks up and goes,
+
+“All right, now who’s here for their time with me?”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, High-Richter, it’s so lovely to see
+you again. I know it’s been quite a while.
+
+MATT: “I have no idea who you are.”
+
+TRAVIS: Brantley. We met– must have been years ago
+now. You remember the Gala.
+
+MARISHA: I think it was a fundraiser, last time
+you were up for election?
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! 14 plus four, 18.
+
+MATT: “Yes, of course, I recall. It’s been some
+time. What brings you to the front of my homestead
+
+in the middle of the day? I’m on my way to the
+Hall.”
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. A bit of terrible business,
+actually. Our family has been unfortunately at the
+
+poor end of some corporate espionage, and I’m
+afraid the Baumbauchs, isn’t that who they are in
+
+Trostenwald?
+
+LAURA: Terrible evil, the Baumbauchs.
+
+MARISHA: Especially that Demedan.
+
+TRAVIS: Just a wretched fellow. They’ve made off
+with quite a bit of our product, and we have some
+
+evidence against them. We tried to take it to the
+Lawmaster, of course, we didn’t want to trouble
+
+you, but–
+
+MARISHA: She directed us here, we thought, well,
+Dayana is just so sweet, she would of course help
+
+us out.
+
+TRAVIS: Absolutely.
+
+MARISHA: Here is the invoice from the amount due
+that they have not paid from the Timalt Store House.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure justice will be swift, but
+unfortunately, much of our family’s finances are
+
+wrapped up in this.
+
+LAURA: And they took our puppies.
+
+MATT: I would like both of you to make deception
+checks, please.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is turning the diamond over and over
+in his hand like a fidget spinner, watching all of this.
+
+TRAVIS: At least you have the diamond, right?
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, what should I roll? Give me
+something good. That’s not too bad. 15.
+
+LAURA: Six.
+
+MATT: She goes, “Puppies, I’m sure. Well,
+Baumbauch is outside of the Zadash jurisdiction.
+
+That is Trostenwald territory. I’m afraid that is
+not something I would nor could handle if I wanted
+
+to. If you wish to bring them to justice either
+present your evidence to the lawmaster of
+
+Trostenwald, or bring Baumbauch to me. Otherwise,
+I have no interest.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure you can understand our situation.
+We have already done that exact thing! We wouldn’t
+
+waste your time with such rudimentary worries,
+but–
+
+MATT: “Then why are you wasting my time right
+now?”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, frankly, the Lawmaster in
+Trostenwald seemed to show you very little respect
+
+when we mentioned your name, and being that our
+family is so influential around here, we’re going
+
+to be tossed to the wayside if justice isn’t
+found. Surely you understand that.
+
+MARISHA: And, of course, we would happily pay you
+for any type of additional services you might be
+
+able to help us out with.
+
+MATT: “Am I– step inside.” The crownsguard step
+inside and close the door behind. “Am I to
+
+understand that you’ve come out here in broad
+daylight to my estate in an attempt to bribe the
+
+High-Richter of Zadash?”
+
+TRAVIS: Was that what you said?
+
+MARISHA: No, I don’t think those were my words at
+all. No.
+
+TRAVIS: It was merely a few pennies for your
+time.
+
+LAURA: A favor for a favor!
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, I mean certainly if you feel like
+doing justice on its own– I would like to see
+
+people taken care of that take care of us.
+
+MATT: “So long as it’s not a bribe. Favors we can
+do.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, of course!
+
+MATT: “I’ll see what’s possible. I’ll ask around.
+I’ll take these documents, if you don’t mind, to
+
+see what can be mustered.”
+
+MARISHA: And, of course, we are always willing to
+repay in favors.
+
+MATT: “Of course. There are all sides and types of
+favors that can be helpful to the Crown and those
+
+below.”
+
+LAURA: Also, what do you think of puppies?
+
+MATT: “I think they’re droll and must be fed to
+their larger kin. So are we done here?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, I believe we are. Thank you for your
+time. We’re most gracious.
+
+MATT: “I’m certain it has been.”
+
+MARISHA: While he wraps it up, can I do a quick
+glance over her table or over her desk to see if I
+
+see any type of papers?
+
+MATT: Well, this is on the front doorstep.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I thought she pulled us inside. I’m
+sorry.
+
+MATT: No, she pulled the crownsguard inside.
+
+TRAVIS: But since we’re inside of that seven-foot
+wall: windows, doors, security measures, how many
+
+floors?
+
+MATT: From the immediate front position, there is
+the door itself beyond the archway, two small
+
+windows to each side of it, though it appears that
+they’re closed, and they’re bisected with wooden
+
+beams between.
+
+TRAVIS: Shuttered? Wooden shuttered closed?
+
+MATT: They are shuttered, yeah, from the inside.
+You’d open them from the inside to bring in the
+
+light, but they’re currently closed. The second
+floor above you do see one balcony. It’s a bit
+
+receded and there’s a balcony that looks out over
+it all with a second set of doors, but that is
+
+currently closed.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: While we’re bowing on our way out, I’m
+going to drop my waterskin and spill it.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Erikson!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh! I’m so sorry, my lord.
+
+LAURA: Every time! Every time!
+
+TALIESIN: As I’m cleaning it up, I’m going to make
+eye contact just briefly. What do I see?
+
+I was curious what the reaction to this ridiculous
+creature is spilling shit all over her front lawn.
+
+That’s all.
+
+MATT: Oh, I got you. I follow you now.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: There is an immediate bit of a scowl and, “I
+would also ask nicely if you’ll stop bringing
+
+these demon bloods onto my estate to be
+ruining–”
+
+MARISHA: That’s what we were looking for this
+whole time.
+
+LAURA: Like the puppy thing wasn’t enough? Come
+on!
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, they’re kicking cats in this
+bitch, so it’s not that far off.
+
+TALIESIN: A thousand apologies, my lord, I’ll take
+your sister and make sure she gets her medicine.
+
+TRAVIS: You embarrass me!
+
+LAURA: How dare you, Erickson!
+
+TRAVIS: Please make sure she’s beaten as you lead
+her away. I apologize for his fuddy-duddyness.
+
+MARISHA: It’s hard to find good help these days.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for your time. Good day.
+
+MATT: She turns around wordlessly and goes inside
+and slams the door.
+
+MARISHA: Go, guys. Let’s go.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s easy ways to find out if people
+are terrible or not.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that was good. Well, we walk a fair
+distance away from the crownsguard and we see
+
+Caleb and little pallbearer.
+
+SAM: Did, they– oh. Hi, honey!
+
+TRAVIS: Like a small Morticia Addams.
+
+LAURA: With a mustache.
+
+LIAM: So we’ve got it buttoned down.
+
+SAM: Did she offer to kill a bunch of innocents or
+anything?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I mean she said that dogs should be
+fed to the larger ones.
+
+LAURA: And she said that tieflings were terrible.
+
+SAM: Okay, devil’s advocate, here: I really don’t
+like dogs either.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but puppies, Nott, puppies.
+
+SAM: Yeah, they make great food.
+
+LAURA: Nott!
+
+SAM: When you’re out in the woods and that’s all
+that you have to eat, they have very tender meat!
+
+And, to be fair, (whispering) Mollymauk is a
+little bit of, I mean, I wouldn’t trust him either.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, but imagine if she had gotten her
+eyes on you. I mean, don’t know what she would
+
+have done.
+
+SAM: Well, that would make her the same as 95
+percent of people in this city.
+
+TRAVIS: But that means she’s got to die.
+
+SAM: Okay, that’s true.
+
+LIAM: We are not going bring this woman’s life
+down in a shambles because she is an asshole, I
+
+mean, we are assholes. Ja? For different
+reasons.
+
+MARISHA: But we’re assholes without power, though.
+
+LIAM: Okay. And?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, it’s less dangerous? I
+don’t know.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+you notice that the streets themselves have long
+
+silken streamers that are affixed from light pole
+to light pole as part of the decoration along the
+
+streets, but you see additional decorations being
+put up. You see bunches of flowers being affixed
+
+to the top of these poles, you can see more
+streamers of multiple colors being placed around a
+
+center courtyard, in one of the mid-areas of the
+Silken Terrace.
+
+TALIESIN: Must be some sort of harvest theme that
+everything is going up.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: It’s that harvest fest. Remember, there’s
+another tournament and stuff that we can enter into.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it just the Tri-Spire, or is it
+everywhere?
+
+MATT: Right now, it’s just being put around the
+Gilded Willows, which is a little ways further
+
+away from the estate as you’re heading back. You
+can see decorations going up, tables being set, it
+
+looks to be a small platform being risen. There’s
+some sort of event coming up fairly soon.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m perfectly content making snap
+judgements of people, I’ve been doing it all my
+
+life and it’s very rarely steered me wrong, and in
+another time and another place, I’d be more than
+
+happy to run something.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so let me go over this, then. We have
+no form of payment of any kind planned in advance.
+
+We don’t know if this woman has done anything
+besides being a snide puppy-hater.
+
+LAURA: She takes bribes. She’s a corrupt
+politician.
+
+LIAM: I have personally bribed people, I don’t
+know that I would– listen, I do not like the
+
+government–I say this quietly–I do not like the
+empire, but we’re really sticking our neck out
+
+with very dangerous people. I don’t think we have
+much to go on, I don’t think we know how we’re
+
+going to be receiving recompense for this.
+
+TALIESIN: There is going to have to be some coin,
+of course.
+
+TRAVIS: Certainly, your fears are founded. If
+there’s not enough pay, then obviously it’s not
+
+worth the risk. But I have to say, that even after
+meeting them for the second time, I feel like
+
+these people, they’re good folks. I think they
+just want to see their city bettered. Honestly,
+
+that Dolan fellow I think would do better in a
+seat of power than this current wench.
+
+LIAM: Well, I am willing to discuss our continued
+involvement, once the payment is figured out.
+
+TRAVIS: I think that’s fair.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, look. People in power tend to get
+corrupt, they don’t start corrupt. In my opinion,
+
+it doesn’t matter who’s sitting there, as long as
+we get paid from it, who cares?
+
+TRAVIS: And there’s still many things to figure
+out. We have to look after this Lord Sutan. But
+
+first, we should see to that afternoon meeting,
+about the coin. We should address that straight out.
+
+LAURA: I guess we have to leave the Tri-Spire
+then.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I guess we do. We’re meeting them at
+the Song & Supper Inn.
+
+LAURA: What time?
+
+TRAVIS: Just after noon.
+
+LAURA: Just after noon? You didn’t get an hour?
+
+TRAVIS: I was not specific.
+
+SAM: We don’t have watches.
+
+TALIESIN: 12:01. It’s just after noon.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Don’t make me say it.
+
+LIAM: It’s on all our minds. Unspoken.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m trying not to.
+
+TALIESIN: This place is giving me a rash.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I guess let’s head there, meet up
+with these guys. It’s probably about that time, yeah?
+
+MATT: Yep. So you guys make your way, reversing
+your steps, outside of the Tri-Spire, making your
+
+way towards the western side of the Interstead
+Sprawl, to the Song & Supper Inn.
+
+LAURA: Before we leave, are there any benches
+around, just sitting?
+
+MATT: There are a few, yeah.
+
+LAURA: I want to leave one of the pamphlets for
+the Traveler sitting on a bench.
+
+MATT: Okay, you sneakily slip it into a small gap,
+so it’s visible, but not liable to be blown away.
+
+Perfect.
+
+LAURA: Minus one.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way to the interior of
+the inn, it is lively. It is the loudest,
+
+musically, tavern, you’ve seen. You get the sense,
+both by title, and by the interior, that this
+
+essentially a perpetual an open mic night for any
+musicians or bards who want to come and try out
+
+their craft. There are three different bands that
+are cycling through on the main, raised dais to
+
+perform. The atmosphere is lively, and folks come
+here for that. It’s a poor tavern, comparatively.
+
+The interior looks like a lot of the paint is
+chipped and run or crinkled, the smell inside is
+
+not the best, but it serves basic food, basic
+drinks, and at least an atmosphere of music and
+
+fun. Some folks sing along, and jump into a shanty
+or two. As you come in, you can see both Ulog and
+
+Dolan are currently sitting at a table across from
+each other. As they notice you guys approach, they
+
+raise a drink, and you can see the rest of the
+table they have ready for you guys to come and sit.
+
+LIAM: We have already dropped our disguises if
+they recognized us.
+
+TRAVIS: It took us 45 minutes to walk here.
+
+MATT: Your spells would have run out by now.
+
+MARISHA: Before we walk into the place, I turn my
+coat inside out, back to the blue.
+
+LAURA: Any guards in the tavern?
+
+MATT: Not in the tavern, no. There was one
+outside, but patrolling the streets. Not
+
+everything is super heavily guarded in smaller
+areas like this.
+
+LAURA: Does it look like anybody is looking at us,
+anybody else in the tavern?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Nice!
+
+LAURA: Ooh! 22.
+
+MATT: I mean, no more than anyone looks at you
+when you enter a room, being a blue-skinned
+
+tiefling. You don’t get the sense that anyone is
+casing you the entire time that you’ve been there.
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t look like anyone followed us
+in?
+
+MATT: You don’t notice anybody following you in,
+no.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You see Dolan and Ulog are there waiting at
+the table, as you come and join with them. Does
+
+everybody sit with them?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to sit at another table and
+listen in.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord and I will go over.
+
+TRAVIS: The rest of you are welcome.
+
+SAM: You’ve met with them before, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: So you could go over.
+
+LIAM: I could, yeah.
+
+SAM: Let’s go join them.
+
+TALIESIN: Really, oh fine.
+
+LIAM: Well, it has to happen eventually.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, keep an eye on the room.
+
+MATT: You go with them to the table? Dolan gives you a
+look. “And this is one of your associates?”
+
+MARISHA: Is that a problem?
+
+MATT: “No, I’d just like to ask your name.”
+
+LAURA: Tonya Fancybottom. Nice to meet you.
+
+MATT: “Tonya? Pleasure. I’m Dolan, Dolan Thrym,
+this is Ulog.” He sits there, he’s like, “Hey.”
+
+They both take a very long minute and look over
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Hey friend.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, I’m just being careful.”
+
+LIAM: We’re pretty ragtag, but they’re both very
+good at what they do.
+
+LAURA: I’m blue.
+
+MATT: “I can see that.”
+
+MARISHA: People like her make you uncomfortable?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+MARISHA: You sure? What about people like him?
+People like him make you uncomfortable?
+
+MATT: “I mean only in the sense that they’re fresh
+faces.”
+
+MARISHA: All right, just checking.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m giving a clear.
+
+MATT: Ulog leans in, he’s like, “I’ve watched them
+a bit, they’re all friends, it’s fine.” Dolan
+
+goes, “All right.”
+
+TRAVIS: (whispers) We’ve got to look for that
+motherfucker more often.
+
+MARISHA: He’s fucking everywhere. He’s been
+following us a lot. You said he was shifty, a
+
+little criminal–
+
+MATT: Dolan goes, “All right, so, we’ve been
+looking for an opening, we’ve been trying to find
+
+out. We thought it was tonight, but they’ve pushed
+it back a day. There is a pre-harvest gala
+
+happening in the Tri-Spire tomorrow night. We
+figure this distraction would be enough to do any
+
+of the quiet infiltrations that we’re attempting
+to accomplish, should you still be interested in
+
+coming with us. I know there was hesitation, and I
+don’t want anyone to be coming into this that
+
+doesn’t feel comfortable. To be honest, I want to
+be comfortable as well, and to know that we’re
+
+going to bed with the right people. Are there any
+concerns? Any questions, worries?”
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. We did some casing of the
+High-Richter ourselves. She’s not the most savory
+
+type. I believe some of my associates have a
+question of, well, the unsavory topic of payment.
+
+MATT: “Right. I assumed that was probably going to
+be a thing. Me and Horris pitched in together. We
+
+don’t have much, but this is too important to not.
+Me and Horris put together about 115 gold between
+
+the two of us.” He puts a small thing on the
+table, showing it. He’s not putting it out in the
+
+open because he doesn’t want to be like “I have
+all this money on the table!” He’s like, “We have
+
+some. Kara put in 53 gold of her own.” Ulog leans
+in and goes, “513 gold, 21 silver, 302 copper.
+
+It’s my life savings. I want to see these fuckers
+burn.”
+
+MARISHA: Wait. 500 from his personal stash?
+
+LIAM: Insight check on that statement.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: Balls. Total balls.
+
+MATT: Total balls? Hard to read.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Just under 700.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s about the same as the King’s Hall,
+yeah.
+
+SAM: Caleb? This job doesn’t involve monsters.
+That’s pretty good.
+
+LIAM: Literally, no. Figuratively? Yes. The
+biggest and the baddest, potentially.
+
+LAURA: Would we be all going to this gala
+together?
+
+MATT: “We wouldn’t be going to the gala. We would
+be–”
+
+MARISHA: Breaking in.
+
+TALIESIN: During the gala.
+
+LAURA: Oh, so no party.
+
+TALIESIN: Party after.
+
+MATT: “Party after.”
+
+TRAVIS: Would anyone of your group like to be
+joining us? Kara or Ulog, yourself?
+
+MATT: Ulog, still leaning forward, goes, “I’d like
+to. I have the most at stake here, monetarily.
+
+I’ve got skills I think will synergize well with
+the ones you bring to the table. I’ll be coming
+
+with you.”
+
+TRAVIS: I tend to believe him just because we
+haven’t seen him.
+
+LAURA: He’s pretty stealthy.
+
+MATT: Dolan goes, “Kara, her skills are more in
+the interpersonal level, not so much infiltration.
+
+And I’m just me, so I don’t think I’d be of much
+help.”
+
+LAURA: Do you have healing potions?
+
+MATT: “Actually, yes. Not many. We have a few left
+over. Horris should have a few more.”
+
+LAURA: Just in case we get hurt or something.
+
+MATT: “I hope that isn’t the case. Just in case,
+all right. I’ll have those sent. I’ll send them
+
+along with Ulog for you.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+TRAVIS: Did you happen to draft up any of those
+Knights of Requital documents I asked for?
+
+Symbols?
+
+MATT: “Oh, yes.” He pulls out a small piece of
+parchment and discretely hands it to you under the
+
+table. You feel it tap your knee. As you look
+inside, it’s a symbol that looks like an R, but
+
+part of the R extends beyond to produce a K,
+almost. It looks like a sigil or seal that
+
+utilizes the title in it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s actually nice work.
+
+MARISHA: That is really nice. That’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: I hate to burn it, though.
+
+MARISHA: You could do this, some graphic design.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you procure this for us?
+
+LAURA: He created them for us.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s impressive.
+
+MATT: “I haven’t used my art degree.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Wow!
+
+TRAVIS: Got Dolan drawing it.
+
+LIAM: Too real.
+
+MATT: “I have to ask you, because if we’re all
+going in on this, I have to be absolutely sure.
+
+Are you coming with us on this? You can back out.
+There’s no shame in that, but we’re not going to
+
+go in this without your help as well. That would
+be foolish.”
+
+TRAVIS: A moment for us to confer, if you don’t
+mind.
+
+LIAM: We would like to discuss.
+
+MATT: He stands up for a second and says, “Ulog,
+drink?” “Sure.” They both get up from the table
+
+and walk over to the bar to get another round.
+
+LAURA: I watch Ulog.
+
+TALIESIN: I can probably get one of them the way I
+did with Nott last night, if you like. Make sure
+
+we’re not walking into anything we don’t want to
+be.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t get that impression, do you?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I do not, but–
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe not just yet.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: I like the offer, though.
+
+MARISHA: If anything, I feel bad. Feels like
+they’re investing a lot of money on this play.
+
+TRAVIS: They’ll get their return back if he’s
+High-Richter afterwards, though.
+
+MARISHA: If he’s High-Richter.
+
+TALIESIN: And if he’s not, then they don’t have to
+pay, because we obviously failed.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re just being paid to empty the seat,
+not to put him in it.
+
+MARISHA: Correct. It would be super unfortunate to
+see someone else slide in there, other than him.
+
+But like you said, not our problem.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, Caleb? I know you had reservations.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a good pay day.
+
+LIAM: I want to walk away very fast if this goes
+wrong. My hackles are up. It does not feel as sure
+
+a bet as other things that we have done together.
+But okay.
+
+SAM: If Caleb’s in, I’m in.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll see what kind of plan we can come up
+with. We have a day.
+
+SAM: Yasha?
+
+TRAVIS: You hear thunder.
+
+TALIESIN: I respect this squarely, but if you
+really feel like this is turning, then we’ll turn.
+
+LIAM: But there’s money involved, so there’s
+incentive.
+
+MARISHA: We have a little bit of time. We can
+still do a little bit of casing, maybe go talk to
+
+the Gentleman and see what he has to offer in
+between.
+
+TRAVIS: We have a day, right?
+
+MARISHA: Right? A day and a night?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You have the rest of the day, the
+evening, and tomorrow night is apparently the
+
+Pre-Harvest Gala in the Tri-Spire.
+
+TRAVIS: When we will strike! Jester, how do you
+feel?
+
+LAURA: I think it sounds fun! Sure, why not.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh! okay.
+
+SAM: Should we order up some puppies to celebrate?
+Just kidding.
+
+LAURA: I’ve never eaten a dog. I feel like I would
+feel really weird about it.
+
+SAM: Me neither.
+
+TRAVIS: We can call them back over.
+
+MATT: You see Dolan and Ulog are having their
+drink at the bar. They walk up and sit down. “So
+
+can we count on you?”
+
+LIAM: One hundred percent.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re in.
+
+LAURA: The Fancybottom name is one you can trust!
+
+MATT: You see Ulog and Dolan share a look and nod.
+A smile comes across Dolan’s face. “Thank you. You
+
+won’t regret it! I suppose, prepare whatever
+you’ll need. We’ll meet back in the cellar of The
+
+Leaky Tap tomorrow at sundown, and we’ll take it
+from there.” You can sense this excited
+
+nervousness to his voice that wasn’t there before
+as he smiles.
+
+LAURA: Do you have a good way to get into the
+Tri-Spire?
+
+MATT: “We have a few ideas.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Til tomorrow, then!”
+
+TRAVIS: Til tomorrow.
+
+MATT: He gets up and finishes his drink and
+buttons the top button of his shirt, and then
+
+makes his way out. Ulog sits up, goes and takes
+what swills at the bottom of Dolan’s drink and
+
+finishes it, then finishes his drink, pops it
+down. “Til tomorrow.” He gets up and leaves.
+
+TALIESIN: Has anyone been watching us?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+LIAM: He is hard to read.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s an eight.
+
+LIAM: Level three, motherfucker.
+
+MATT: You don’t notice anybody paying attention.
+
+LAURA: I feel like I would’ve been looking, too,
+because I was watching for people at the beginning
+
+of that.
+
+MATT: The only thing you notice is that on the way
+out, Dolan – As he heads to the door, you see
+
+Kara, the half-elf, was waiting at the door. As
+soon as he heads over, she goes, “So?” They both
+
+exit into the main thoroughfare.
+
+TRAVIS: I actually like what Molly said. I feel
+like tomorrow night, before we go, you should do
+
+your thing on Ulog.
+
+LAURA: I also have a spell that can make people
+tell the truth.
+
+TRAVIS: That would work great. I think they’d
+understand, too. If we did it too early, I think
+
+they– cause you to cause suspicion. After all,
+we’re only trying to make sure that this isn’t a
+
+trap set for us.
+
+LIAM: Which is possible.
+
+TRAVIS: Make you feel better, if we had the
+answer.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Most likely.
+
+TRAVIS: What do we do this evening to prepare?
+
+SAM: Get drunk?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I was thinking more along the lines
+of checking out Lord Sutan.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: We got to go back to the Tri-Spire? Which
+we can do.
+
+LAURA: Or, no, we can just go to the hall of the
+Hall of Justice.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Meanwhile, at the Soltryce Academy.
+
+SAM and LAURA: The King’s Hall?
+
+MARISHA: Is that where Lord Sutan is?
+
+MATT: You don’t know much about Lord Sutan. You
+haven’t heard his name referenced at all with any
+
+of the–
+
+TRAVIS: They just left and we forgot to ask where
+the fuck he is! Twice! Can we run out after them?
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Wait wait wait!
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god. Oh! 15.
+
+MATT: 15? You glance through the crowd, and you
+can just make out, it the distance, the back of
+
+Ulog as he’s walking down the street, about to
+turn.
+
+TRAVIS: One sec. (panting)
+
+MATT: As you catch up, he glances over his
+shoulder at the sound of the running, and he goes,
+
+“What?”
+
+TRAVIS: You dropped this money. (whispering) Where
+do we find Lord Sutan?
+
+MATT: “I don’t fucking know. His estate? He’s not
+that far from where the gala’s happening.”
+
+TRAVIS: Just take it and say thank you!
+(whispering) Okay, don’t worry about it.
+
+(panting)
+
+They don’t know.
+
+LAURA: But the Tri-Spire.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: He knows where he lives, that’s it.
+
+TRAVIS: They know where he lives.
+
+MARISHA: In the Tri-Spire?
+
+TRAVIS: In the Tri-Spire.
+
+LIAM: So it’s another dance through the sewer if
+we want to do that tonight, which we could do.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Maybe that guard got his job back.
+
+MARISHA: He respawned.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I think that ship has sailed, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure he’s fine.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, well at dawn, we plan?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we got to figure out where the Lord
+Sutan’s estate is, get a wax seal, a writing,
+
+forge his hand.
+
+LAURA: We’re going to do all that during the
+gala?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That’s all, supposedly, in one night.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+Yeah, at dawn, we plan.
+
+MARISHA: At dawn, we plan.
+
+MATT: At dawn, we plan. And that’s where we’ll
+pick up next week. Building up to–
+
+SAM: There’s so much build up.
+
+MATT: I know. D&D, motherfucker. So we’ll see
+where this takes you guys next week, during the
+
+Pre-Harvest Gala.
+
+MARISHA: I think we’re going to have to reignite
+our planning thread.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep!
+
+MARISHA: It’s time!
+
+LIAM: Come up with one.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Dust the cobwebs off of it.
+
+LIAM: Actually come up with one.
+
+MARISHA: It’s good. We’re going to go full Ocean’s
+Nein, you guys!
+
+TRAVIS: We got Pumat Sol back, man! We need Pumat
+every once and awhile.
+
+MATT: You brought back Pumat, you bought D&D
+smut.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right!
+
+MARISHA: And bear claws.
+
+MATT: There you go! Bought some bear claws.
+
+TALIESIN: I got a nifty necklace.
+
+MATT: You did.
+
+TALIESIN: It does cool things on D&D– when I put
+it on my character, it did really cool things. It
+
+got a little picture.
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s cool!
+
+TALIESIN: On D&D Beyond. That’s nice.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Well, we’ll pick up for the ensuing
+tension next week on Thursday. This weekend, we’ll
+
+see you guys who are planning to come down to
+WonderCon for our panel, 11:30 in the morning, on
+
+Sunday. Hopefully we’ll see you guys there. Until
+then, have a wonderful night, and is it Thursday
+
+yet? Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
+
+sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Before we get into tonight’s story, welcome.
+We have some quick announcements to do. First off,
+
+we have two fantastic sponsors for the evening.
+Returning for the second week for the newly
+
+released game, Far Cry 5.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: So good.
+
+MATT: It’s out for PS4, Xbox One, and PC. The
+latest installment of Far Cry, if you guys aren’t
+
+familiar with it, is set in the fictional Hope
+County, Montana, where a fanatical doomsday cult
+
+known as the Project at Eden’s Gate has taken
+control. If you are playing it or plan to play it,
+
+you’ll probably hear me and Marisha somewhere in
+that cult, I’m sure, or scattered in the game at
+
+some point.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re cultists?
+
+LAURA: I’ve always known that about you.
+
+MARISHA: It’s my true destiny, yeah.
+
+MATT: I got to work on my Montana for that one. It
+was fun. It strangely is. Sorry, Montana. Grab
+
+your sidekick, train your dog, and fight against
+Eden’s Gate in the most Far Cry way possible,
+
+which is with extreme force, so pick up a copy
+today. Hope you enjoy.
+
+TRAVIS: The prologue is so good it is currently
+encompassing Brian Wayne Foster’s life.
+
+MATT: This game is a lot of people’s lives. I’ve
+watched people vanish over the past couple days.
+
+LIAM: Raving about it. It’s only been out for five
+seconds, and everyone’s gaga.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Jess Black in the game is voiced by
+our friend of the show Julie Nathanson. She is
+
+amazing and you should enjoy her work in there as
+well. That’s our first sponsor for the night. Our
+
+second sponsor and our continuous sponsor for this
+new campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: Here to talk to you about D&D Beyond is a
+returning friend of the show.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: No! No, why?
+
+SAM: Bonzai, wave hogs and hog-ettes, it’s Brody
+Slater, king of the kick-flip, jamming about the
+
+froobs at D&D Beyond. You all know I love letting
+my leash out on maxed shore breaks at Steamer
+
+Lane. Real bang! When I’m not flashing the shaka
+at some quimby on a softboard, I’m chillaxing with
+
+my buds with some gnarly roleplaying games. Now,
+I’m partial to Dead Earth, Empire of Satanis, and
+
+F.A.T.A.L.– slotted!– but my broheims are hooked
+on fifth edition, which means I get stoked for D&D
+
+Beyond. If there’s one thing Brody Slater loves
+more than shacked eskimo rolls, it’s diligent
+
+organization. Right now, you can go to D&D
+Beyond’s Facebook page and leave a comment on
+
+their top (stammers) pinned post, telling them
+your favorite moment for episode 11 of Critical
+
+Role to be entered to win a legendary bundle. Far
+out! So don’t be a Benny Poser, head on over to
+
+D&D Beyond and enter now. Hang 11!
+
+(cheering and clapping)
+
+LAURA: Wait, leave it on, because you kind of look
+like Estelle Getty.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: If Shakäste comes back later on, you can
+play his spiritual weapon.
+
+LIAM: That made me uncomfortable so fast.
+
+MATT: The character didn’t click until he said he
+played F.A.T.A.L., and then I was, oh, I know who
+
+this is now.
+
+SAM: I don’t even know what that is, I looked it
+up.
+
+MATT: Don’t. It’s awful. It’s the worst.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that the third time we’ve had him? In
+our lifetime?
+
+SAM: Fan favorite. And by fan, I mean me.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam.
+
+SAM: I’m a fan of my own character.
+
+TRAVIS: Like Halley’s Comet, you always come
+around.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam, and thank you to D&D Beyond
+for being awesome supporters of the show. A couple
+
+quick things after that. First off, reminding you
+guys about Twitch Prime. If you have an Amazon
+
+Prime account, you can connect it to your Twitch
+account, and every month you can subscribe for
+
+free to a channel of your choice. Whether that’d
+be us or anybody else you’d want to show some love
+
+to, costs you nothing and it’s pretty awesome, so
+do it if you haven’t. If you need a recap for
+
+campaign two, we’re doing our Critical Recap
+episodes now with our fantastic Dani Carr, who is
+
+doing succinct updates and reminders for things
+that have happened in the campaign, or if you’ve
+
+missed something and don’t have the time and want
+to watch live, you can watch Critical Recap and be
+
+right ready to go when you’re here on Thursday.
+
+LAURA: Right ready to go.
+
+TALIESIN: Right ready.
+
+MATT: Talks Machina, of course, is every Tuesday
+evening. We just had our WonderCon panel that we
+
+did this past Sunday on Tuesday night for Talks,
+and it’s online. You can go watch it on Youtube
+
+now. Again, Geek and Sundry Youtube, should be up
+there to watch it. But the episode of Talks for
+
+tonight’s episode will be next Tuesday at 7pm
+Pacific with our fantastic host Brian W. Foster.
+
+Please come join those of us who will be here, and
+enjoy.
+
+LAURA: My mom called me today, and she’s like,
+“I’m watching you in the WonderCon panel.” I was
+
+like, oh no. What did I say?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I think your language was actually pretty
+good.
+
+LAURA: Was it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: We kind of had to. Yeah, on the back of the
+name cards, it says, “Please don’t ever say bad words.“
+
+TRAVIS: We still dropped a few.
+
+MATT: Yeah. I mean, we’re only human.
+
+MARISHA: We do our best.
+
+MATT: True. Most of us. Except for Taliesin.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+MATT: The podcast of last week’s episode, episode
+11, is available for download, so if you listen to
+
+the show audibly or have friends who do, they can
+download it now, where finest podcasts can be
+
+downloaded. C2E2 is coming up! Not this weekend,
+but the weekend after, in Chicago. We’re all going
+
+to be there. We have panels, signings, all of the
+information is up on the website now. You can find
+
+it on the Geek and Sundry Twitter or the Critical
+Role Twitter if you’re wondering what is happening
+
+and where to go. We’d love to see you. Please come
+and be a part of the crazy convention. It’s
+
+probably going to be pretty crazy.
+
+SAM: Is it?
+
+MATT: It’s pretty big and there’s a lot of people
+going.
+
+TRAVIS: Chicago is a tiny town, though. There’s
+not really a lot that’s there. It’s a couple
+
+trains or little puddle-jumper flights to get
+there.
+
+LIAM: Are you pre-rolling your goddamn dice now?
+
+TRAVIS: It was one roll!
+
+LAURA: It’s true love, baby.
+
+MARISHA: There was definitely more than one. It
+was at least two or three.
+
+MATT: We’re watching you like a hawk now, man.
+
+TRAVIS: Never again.
+
+MATT: Also, our fantastic friends at 826 and
+826LA; they’re a great charity. They do wonderful
+
+stuff for children in creative writing. Please go
+ahead and check out what they do, see if you can
+
+help support it or actually be a volunteer if a
+chapter is near you, so check it out. We love them
+
+and you should do so too. I don’t think we have
+any new merch per se other than just the reminder,
+
+you have that wonderful shirt.
+
+LAURA: Oh, this shirt?!
+
+MATT: It looks good on you even when you’re
+preggers.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Even better.
+
+LAURA: This is our first maternity shirt.
+
+MATT: Officially. Unless we have anything else to
+say, I believe that gets us caught up and ready to
+
+dive into tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Hello and welcome back. Last we left off,
+the Mighty Nein had gotten in bed with a rebel
+
+group who had been meeting in the interior of
+Zadash. Unhappy with some members of the local
+
+government of this city, they had been trying to
+discover a way they could discredit some of the
+
+corrupt individuals that have been causing some
+strife in this city to some of the locals. You had
+
+met some of these individuals a few times to
+discover that there is an End of Harvest Gala that
+
+was arriving fairly soon. That was going to be a
+distraction period to allow them to infiltrate the
+
+abodes of two individuals in particular: Lord
+Sutan and the High-Richter Prucine. You discussed
+
+with them last time a plot, fixing their
+not-very-well-put-together plot into a better
+
+direction, thankfully.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re all fucked.
+
+MATT: –to acquire a wax seal within the home of
+Lord Sutan to create a letter that you feel would
+
+be incriminating, then to infiltrate the
+High-Richter’s home, do the same, and then report
+
+them to the lawmaster, or whoever else you’d think
+would be of higher estate. This is transpiring
+
+tomorrow evening. Where we last left off, it was
+later in the afternoon after your final
+
+discussion. You guys have a day to prepare however
+you wish to.
+
+SAM: A whole day?
+
+LAURA: Well, half a day, and then a whole other
+day.
+
+MATT: Mighty Nein, what would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: What’s the lawmaster’s name?
+
+MATT: Orentha.
+
+MARISHA: Dayana Prucine
+
+MATT: That’s the High-Richter.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, Orentha.
+
+LAURA: Where are we right now?
+
+MATT: Right now, you guys have just finished
+meeting with the other members of the Knights of
+
+Requital in–
+
+TRAVIS: At the Song and Supper Inn
+
+MATT: Song and Supper, yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Previously known as the Knights of
+Requital.
+
+EVERYBODY: Right, yes.
+
+MATT: No longer.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got to figure out where fucking Lord
+Sutan is, right? We don’t have any eyes on that location.
+
+MARISHA: I think it might also be smart to see if
+we can drum up any type of handwriting samples for
+
+possibly both the Lord Sutan and the High-Richter,
+so we can more convincingly forge documents.
+
+TALIESIN: We have Book Boy, too, he could probably
+tell if they’re the same or not with his–
+
+MARISHA: With his brain.
+
+TALIESIN: With his brain.
+
+MARISHA: With his head.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. Well, the eyes in it, yes.
+
+LAURA: Wait, what did you say? I wasn’t
+listening.
+
+SAM: (groans)
+
+LAURA: There was a spiderweb in the corner of the
+room and it’s really pretty.
+
+MARISHA: You’re good at forging, right?
+
+LAURA: Yes, I am! Why do you ask?
+
+MARISHA: We have to get some handwriting samples,
+right? Of the Lord and the High-Richter, that way
+
+we can write letters, make it seem like they’re–
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’m very good at writing letters.
+
+TRAVIS: Where would we find something that’s
+handwritten?
+
+SAM: Maybe on the job board at that place.
+
+TRAVIS: Would that come from them, you think?
+
+SAM: I don’t know!
+
+LIAM: They might have some sort of edict written
+by Prucine.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we didn’t really check to see if
+they had signed any of them, did they?
+
+TALIESIN: We had them, would we have noticed if
+they were hand-signed or if they’d been printed?
+
+MATT: At the job postings you had seen on the task
+board outside of the King’s Hall, they were
+
+handwritten, but they all had been written by the
+Herald of the Hall. He was the one who was
+
+handling most of the jobs that were being
+distributed. Whatever information comes to him,
+
+he’s the one who posts them, it seems.
+
+LAURA: Well, I guess we we’ll just have to find a
+letter within their house, and then I can forge it
+
+right away.
+
+SAM: On the spot? How fast a forger are you?
+
+LAURA: I’m a really quick thinker and I’m also a
+pretty fast writer.
+
+SAM: Here, let’s test you. I’m going to write down,
+(stammering) “Oh, what a goose I am.” Copy my handwriting.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: (laughing)
+
+SAM: It’s pretty good.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I was going to make you roll for it, but no,
+you got this.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, I think we’re going to need you to
+both break in the house and also maybe into some
+
+safe that they have in there.
+
+SAM: Me?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re good at lockpicking.
+
+SAM: Okay. Will I be in there alone?
+
+MARISHA: No, we’ll be with you.
+
+LIAM: We will decide who goes in. I also want to
+discuss what exactly we are going to forge before
+
+we go in, because the plan that they laid out for
+us was not good.
+
+MARISHA: You can say it.
+
+LIAM: Scheisse is a word for it, but they talked
+about making it look like Sutan had broken into
+
+Prucine’s home and rolled it. I don’t know what
+effect that would have on her, so I think maybe we
+
+hatch some sort of conspiracy between the two of
+them to assassinate Orentha, so we will go to
+
+Sutan’s house and we will leave–
+
+SAM: I’m drinking.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, what was the last thing Caleb
+said?
+
+SAM: I always listen to Caleb, he’s my right-hand
+man.
+
+MARISHA: What did he say?
+
+SAM: Poutine.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not what he said, but that is
+delicious and now I want some.
+
+LIAM: Follow me please, for a moment. We have to
+do our homework first, but after we do homework,
+
+we go to Sutan’s, we find this seal, we hold onto
+it. We leave fake communication that you will
+
+write that is from the High-Richter, calling for a
+hit.
+
+LAURA: But how will we leave something from the
+High-Richter if I don’t know actually what her
+
+handwriting looks like yet?
+
+TRAVIS: I was thinking, do they have post here in
+this city? Someone that comes and picks up mail?
+
+Could we jack some of her fucking outgoing mail?
+
+LIAM: You have stolen mail.
+
+MARISHA: I have.
+
+LIAM: You can do it again.
+
+SAM: You’re proficient in mail fraud.
+
+MARISHA: I am definitely proficient in mail fraud.
+
+TRAVIS: What time is it?
+
+MATT: It’s later afternoon.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s the exact time? No, I’m just
+kidding.
+
+MATT: Don’t pull a Liam.
+
+MARISHA: There would be a public record somewhere,
+right?
+
+LAURA: A public record of her handwriting?
+
+SAM: Well, if she’s issued any sort of royal,
+official things, yeah, there should be some sort
+
+of record.
+
+LAURA: She is a judge after all, right?
+
+MARISHA: And generally those public records tend
+to need to be open for–
+
+TALIESIN: These are the most intense public
+officials I’ve ever attempted to swindle, so I’m
+
+not entirely sure what we do at this level.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I will say, worst case scenario, we
+don’t necessarily need to match her handwriting,
+
+but some type of coding, potentially linked back
+to her. We can almost mimic it. People who are
+
+doing sneaky things never use their real
+handwriting.
+
+TALIESIN: Leave a mark on a tree, etcetera. if you
+agree to these terms, and then we leave a mark on
+
+a tree, similar sort of thing.
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Maybe some accounts of the Myriad.
+
+TALIESIN: A bag of gold in a trash receptacle.
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck are you talking about?
+
+SAM: We’re leaving a bag of gold in a trash
+receptacle?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m saying that there’s nothing to
+commit proof other than money actually exchanging
+
+hands. We used money for these things all the time
+back in my day. So if that letter asks for some
+
+sort of assurance or some sort of money to be
+placed: “Please hire a couple people, you can
+
+leave some money in this location for them,” and
+if they find that money, then they know they
+
+actually consented and agreed to this whole
+argument.
+
+LAURA: This is very complicated.
+
+SAM: Extremely.
+
+TALIESIN: It isn’t that complicated.
+
+TRAVIS: What if we divide our forces for now and
+try to find that handwriting sample? One of us
+
+goes and looks for the post, the other one tries
+to find those public records.
+
+LAURA: What if I go find the High-Richter and ask
+for her autograph?
+
+SAM: Like you’d be a fan?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know if Richters have fans.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, she was kind of unpleasant.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, she wasn’t really about that fan
+life.
+
+LIAM: Did not care about your buttons.
+
+LAURA: That’s right. She was vain.
+
+LIAM: The goal to be that we leave something in
+Sutan’s house that would make it seem that the
+
+High-Richter has ordered a hit on Orentha and we
+leave something behind in Sutan’s house: fake
+
+communications with the Myriad. So we tie Sutan to
+the Myriad, we tie Sutan to Richter, and then at
+
+Richter’s house, we leave forged documents, we
+have a letter from Sutan with the seal, and also
+
+we leave communication with the Knights,
+whatsit–
+
+MARISHA: –of Requital. Where I thought you were
+going, Molly, which isn’t a bad idea to leave some
+
+sort of money trail, is leave a certain amount of
+money with any type of paperwork that might also
+
+be mentioned in a document in the adjacent house.
+So paranoid rich people are always paranoid rich
+
+people, right? So they always have these safes
+filled with documents.
+
+LAURA: Oh yes, we had one of those at our house.
+
+MARISHA: Were you guys paranoid?
+
+LAURA: Well, no, we just had a lot of secrets.
+
+(silence)
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m baffled by the notion of building a
+box inside of a larger box inside of a larger box
+
+to hold papers, but fine.
+
+SAM: Step one is: find documents. This is the most
+exciting thing we’ve ever done.
+
+MARISHA: We also need to find where Lord Sutan
+lives.
+
+SAM: Oh! So find addresses and documents!
+
+MARISHA: Correct.
+
+SAM: Ooh! Cue the music.
+
+LAURA: I bet that the people in the Knights–
+previously Knights– they would know where Lord
+
+Sutan lives.
+
+MARISHA: They might even have some sort of
+documentation or record. Remember Dolan was saying
+
+that they got ousted from their practice because
+of this Lord Sutan. Maybe they already have a
+
+paper trail.
+
+LAURA: Don’t we know where Dolan lives?
+
+MARISHA: We do. Nott tracked them.
+
+SAM: I do. I saw their home? He lived–
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes. Harold? Horris.
+
+LIAM: Also, they will put out of businesses, if
+possible, they have some sort of paperwork that
+
+would come from the desk of the High-Richter.
+
+TRAVIS: Possibly, but if we go by there, we can’t
+be seen.
+
+LAURA: We can’t be seen. We’d have to be in
+disguise, or one of us.
+
+TRAVIS: Or knock on the back door, if such a thing
+exists.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s start by talking to our friends
+before we start investigating our allies.
+
+LAURA: Yes. Let’s go that way.
+
+MARISHA: Do we have any–
+
+LAURA: Go get him, monk.
+
+MARISHA: That’s going to be really cool when I can
+do that. Really cool. Catch a fly. Anyway, moving
+
+on, that was me.
+
+LAURA: Should we go to Dolan’s house?
+
+SAM: All of us?
+
+TRAVIS: Is that how we want to find Lord Sutan’s
+address?
+
+LAURA: Maybe the Richter’s handwriting, too.
+
+MARISHA: I wonder if we can track down Ulog.
+
+TRAVIS: That seems like a good idea.
+
+SAM: One thing at a time.
+
+LIAM: That’s another thing– and we can table
+this– but there is also the possibility that this
+
+is all just a honey trap, and that we’re being
+drawn in for as big a fish than the Knights are themselves.
+
+MARISHA: You think we’re big fish?
+
+LIAM: Well, I think that they think they are
+looking for potentially big fish. I’m not saying
+
+that we are big fish. But we might be walking into
+a trap, so eyes on a swivel, is all I’m saying.
+
+TRAVIS: So you’re saying Ulog probably is in
+trouble and is going to roll over on us in order
+
+to get something taken off of him.
+
+LIAM: Potentially, or any of them. Ulog seems the
+shiftiest, but that doesn’t mean that he would
+
+necessarily be–
+
+LAURA: Ulog’s probably listening to us right now.
+
+TRAVIS: To Dolan’s, then.
+
+SAM: All of us? All right, let’s go.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys make your way, following
+Nott, who had previously trailed Dolan to the
+
+home, and you eventually find your way to the
+outskirts of a very simple– it’s a hovel, but
+
+only because it’s been in disuse for a while.
+There is a single front door, it looks to be a
+
+two-chamber home, with one large central main
+living space and one bedroom in the back. The roof
+
+itself is made of heavily pressed-together thatch
+and stick. As soon as you approach, you can see
+
+that the front door is closed, and you see a
+little bit of movement through the window, someone
+
+walking around.
+
+SAM: Who wants to go knocky-knocky?
+
+LAURA: We shouldn’t be seen with them.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you said there’s no back door,
+right? Side windows, anything like that?
+
+SAM: No, I just saw a window and a door. Right?
+
+MATT: From what you saw, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, it should be one of the three of us,
+because that’s who they’ll know.
+
+LIAM: You two have been speaking to them the
+longest.
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: Go do it, Fjord.
+
+LIAM: You are a good talker, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+SAM: In disguise or as is?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m going to fucking change it up.
+Is there a little alley that I can pop into before
+
+I head over to his place of residence?
+
+MATT: Yeah, two buildings over, you look off to
+the side and there’s a small alcove of shade where
+
+you could probably pop in quickly and dispense a
+spell without it causing any ruckus.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I cast Disguise Self and I turn back
+into that– black cloak with gold trim, the long
+
+black hair–
+
+MATT: The same figure you brought to the
+High-Richter’s?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I tie my robe.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+MARISHA: It’s all I’ve got.
+
+MATT: Doesn’t take a spell slot.
+
+LAURA: You’re not going up there with him, right?
+Because he’s in disguise now. You look the same, Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, if you look like you–
+
+MARISHA: No, I got that. Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t want to have them see us going
+over there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, well then you go.
+
+TRAVIS: Cool. All right.
+
+MARISHA: Feel free to give me like a–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, what’s the sign?
+
+LAURA: (screeching bird call)
+
+LIAM: No, that’s not it.
+
+TRAVIS: A peacock?
+
+LAURA: I thought that was a hawk.
+
+SAM: (pigeon cooing)
+
+TRAVIS: Was that supposed to be a hawk? A pigeon?
+(pigeon cooing)
+
+SAM: (pigeon cooing)
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough, it’s a pigeon. A feral
+pigeon.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll listen for the pigeon.
+
+LIAM: A peacock is a fancy pet.
+
+SAM: What are we signaling for?
+
+TRAVIS: If there’s trouble.
+
+LAURA and SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+MARISHA: There’s a signal, we have one.
+
+TRAVIS: I walk over to Dolan’s house.
+
+MATT: All right. Knock on the door?
+
+LIAM: What happens if a pigeon goes by?
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: A flock of pigeons come down.
+
+LIAM: (spell noises)
+
+MATT: All right. As you knock on the door, there’s
+a pause, and you see out of the corner of the
+
+window, the edge of a face peek out there, and
+then disappear behind, and a voice goes, “Who is it?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it is– I bring word from the Mighty
+Nein. May I come in, please?
+
+MATT: You hear some rustling, some unlocking
+process, and the door opens up and you can see
+
+Horris opens the door and Dolan’s behind. “Yes,
+please, come in.” Looks just past you as you enter
+
+the building and they close the door behind you.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there anyone in the room that I don’t
+see besides Horris and Dolan?
+
+MATT: It’s just the two of them at the moment.
+
+MARISHA: Do I see– sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll drop the disguise.
+
+MATT: Okay. They both pause for a second. “Oh,
+wow, all right, you are as skilled as they say, it
+
+seems. That’s pretty useful.”
+
+TRAVIS: I apologize. We realize that after you–
+(drawl) I apologize.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: After we finished speaking, we realized we
+weren’t aware of where Lord Sutan resided.
+
+MATT: “Oh, right. His abode– he lives in the
+Gilded Willows in the Tri-Spires.”
+
+MARISHA: Knew that much.
+
+MATT: “He’s, I would say, not too terribly far
+from the Skyscape Park and where the Constellation
+
+Bridge tower stands. It’s a three-story house,
+dark wood, gold leaf carving. It’s a bit gaudy,
+
+hard to miss amongst some of the other ones there,
+although all of them are gaudy in their own right.
+
+Look for the three-story, iron-gated, dark
+greenwood building in that vicinity.”
+
+TRAVIS: Great. Will do. Another thing that we
+realized– in our efforts to frame and forge,
+
+which are vast, you don’t happen to have any
+handwriting from Lord Sutan, do you?
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, no, most lords are very
+careful with documentation transfer back and
+
+forth, they usually go through direct parcel
+services.”
+
+TRAVIS: There was nothing that ousted you from
+your business, any sort of receipt, or–
+
+MATT: “Oh, no. (chuckles) Nothing that was
+directly from his hand, at least. They usually go
+
+through intermediaries for that purpose.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is there anyone else in the area that we
+should know that he does business with, that he
+
+might communicate with regularly?
+
+MATT: “I mean, that would be the one that replaced
+us–” And he nudges over to Horris on the side.
+
+“That would be–” I had that written down.
+Somewhere in here. Oh, shit, it’s my older notes.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a pen pal. And finding out who the
+pen pal is–
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+SAM: (pigeon cooing)
+
+MARISHA: This is really good all to know. Now
+we’re getting all this information.
+
+LAURA and SAM: (as pigeons) High-Richter!
+
+TRAVIS: No, there’s no fucking pigeons.
+
+LAURA: (as pigeon) High-Richter’s handwriting!
+
+MATT: “I believe it’s Ren Sutan.”
+
+TRAVIS: Ren Sutan.
+
+MATT: “Yes.” If not, the Internet will correct
+me.
+
+SAM: Ren Sutan is his name?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s who he wrote to, though.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I thought Sutan was a title, like Lord
+Lord Lord.
+
+MATT: “Oh, no, Lord Diedric Sutan is his name,
+Ren–”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s who he wrote to.
+
+MATT: “Ren is his son who he placed to destroy and
+take over our practice.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, he sounds like a real son of a
+bitch.
+
+MATT: You hear Horris, off to the side, arms
+crossed now, hearing all this, goes, “Yeah, you
+
+could say that.”
+
+TRAVIS: This Ren Sutan, any idea where we might be
+able to find him?
+
+MATT: They both look at each other, and you watch
+as Dolan glances out the window. “Not that far
+
+outside of the Apple Tree Tutorship vicinity, you
+will find a white and peach building, with a few
+
+banners in the front, and that’s Ren’s new
+practice.”
+
+TRAVIS: A physician also.
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+TRAVIS: A dark physician, most likely, hmm?
+
+MATT: “I mean, sure.” He looks confused.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “Dark physicianry I guess is an issue in
+some parts of the world, I suppose?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, rampant where I’m from. Just real
+fucking dark.
+
+MATT: He looks back at Horris. Horris is like,
+“Right. Well, if you come across any dark
+
+physicianry, please do your best to quell it where
+it… seeds.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed I will. Indeed.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+TRAVIS: You probably will not be hearing from us
+again before the task is done.
+
+SAM and LAURA: (as pigeons) High-Richter!
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+LAURA: (as pigeon) We need it more! High-Richter!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I keep trying to make a sound, it’s just
+nothing’s working.
+
+TRAVIS: Was I supposed to say stuff about the
+High-Richter?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, I’d say take the
+foot-in-mouth signal.
+
+LAURA: We need the handwriting of the High-Richter
+more than Lord Sutan’s handwriting.
+
+MATT: You’re not there.
+
+LAURA: (exasperated sound)
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: We blew it.
+
+LAURA: Fuck! (as pigeon) High-Richter!
+
+SAM: (as pigeon) High-Richter!
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you. We won’t trouble you any
+longer.
+
+MATT: “No worries. I suppose since– Tomorrow
+evening, when everything’s set to go, me and
+
+Horris, Kara, we’re not going to be present when
+all of this goes down, so we have deniability when
+
+we turn our information in for this whole
+endeavor, but I think Ulog and you guys should
+
+meet on the outside of the tavern that we met at
+earlier today to kick this off.”
+
+TRAVIS: Song and Supper Inn.
+
+MATT: “You got it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: “Well good luck, and–”
+
+MARISHA: (drawl) Mustard. Biscuits.
+
+LIAM: (drawl) You’re just a little feller, you
+oughtn’t talk like that.
+
+TRAVIS: Lock that door behind me, and I leave.
+
+MATT: All right. Locks the door.
+
+SAM: How did it go?
+
+LAURA: Did you get the handwriting?
+
+TRAVIS: Stupid pigeons.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Did you get the handwriting of the
+High-Richter?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but I’m not sharing it. Yep. Got it.
+Got it, no problem. Read it, looked at it, I
+
+understand what it looks like. Let’s go.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Fjord, we need it. Really bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Nope, sorry, not going to help you.
+
+LAURA: Did you not get it?
+
+MARISHA: What did they say, though?
+
+TRAVIS: A whole bunch of stuff, but I can’t say it
+around them, I just won’t, out of principle.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. All right. Yep.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but actually do you think you could go
+back and say that you forgot to ask a question?
+
+LAURA: Just say, hey, the whole point of this was
+to find the High-Richter’s handwriting as well,
+
+and maybe–
+
+LIAM: I understand that these two are really
+busting your balls, and I commiserate with that,
+
+but we do need in fact to ask.
+
+TRAVIS: Now, see, if you ask nicely, yeah, things
+will ha– I walk back up to the door.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Knock-knock-knock.
+
+MATT: The eye peeks through the window once
+again.
+
+TRAVIS: One more thing.
+
+MATT: (door opening)
+
+MARISHA: I’m keeping an eye out for anyone
+watching.
+
+TRAVIS: Totally forgot to ask, you don’t happen to
+have any handwriting from the High-Richter do you?
+
+MATT: “No, that would make this a lot easier.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+MATT: “Sorry.”
+
+TRAVIS: Have a good day.
+
+MATT: “You too.” (door closing)
+
+TRAVIS: No. None.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, we checked that box off, so now
+we have to get to work.
+
+SAM: We got some good information, we got Sutan’s
+address and Ren’s address.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Blah blah blah, Ren’s address and
+the address. Now you got it.
+
+SAM: Oh my god!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, and it’s super interesting–
+
+LAURA: Whoa, that is really good, Fjord, you did a
+really good job in there.
+
+MARISHA: Also super interesting that they
+mentioned having other people do their work for
+
+them. (pause) Okay, let’s go!
+
+TRAVIS: Was that mentioned?
+
+MARISHA: He said they have other people do parcel
+service and stuff for him.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, okay, yeah, that. Blah.
+
+MARISHA: See?
+
+SAM: So you’re saying that we could use other
+handwriting as well, and it wouldn’t be out of the
+
+ordinary, as long as it beared the signature and
+seal of said place?
+
+MARISHA: Well maybe not even a signature. Most
+people trying to be smart about not getting caught
+
+aren’t probably like my name and social security
+number.
+
+LAURA: What if we get some parchment that says
+from the home office of Lord Sutan?
+
+SAM: Ooh, a letterhead.
+
+MARISHA: You want stationery, sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Beyond actual, personal stationery. I
+think the notion would be is that you would
+
+actually send your actual handwriting in something
+like this because that way they would know that it
+
+was you. You would be very careful how and who you
+would send that through. You wouldn’t want a
+
+second person taking dictation as you plotted to
+overthrow the government.
+
+MARISHA: Okay well how about this, I think the
+seal is going to be good; I think any type of
+
+money amount mentioned in any of the letters and
+then we cross that and leave that type of amount
+
+of gold in the– like there’s been a money hand
+off.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s
+stay on task. Let’s head to the Gilded Willows
+
+where in the Tri-Spire, where the fucking
+Scottsdale party– What do these notes say,
+
+Skyskate Park and Constellation Boulevard.
+
+LIAM: Knotts Berry Farm.
+
+SAM: Constellation Bridge.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah that thing.
+
+SAM: Constellation Bridge.
+
+MATT: Constellation Bridge tower and Skyscape
+Park.
+
+MARISHA: In between Adventureland and
+Frontierland.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I was writing real fast.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s good there’s a bathroom on the way
+to that. That works out well.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
+
+SAM: So we’re going there with the express purpose
+of–?
+
+TRAVIS: Just recon. We’re trying to see what this
+place looks like, if we can see Lord Sutan. Then
+
+we’ll make a decision if we go after his son or
+not. Who maybe has some of his handwriting.
+
+SAM: That’s in the Tri-Spire. So we need to go
+through the sewers to get there.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe a birthday card.
+
+LAURA: Or we can go up, a few of us, through the
+actual front gates and then meet up with everyone.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, well how about half of us go to
+Lord Sutan’s and half of us go check out Ren’s.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: What are we looking for at Ren’s?
+
+TRAVIS: Handwriting.
+
+SAM: Okay, from his papa.
+
+TRAVIS: And see if Ren’s a son of a bitch. Yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll go to check out Ren.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah me too, because I can’t make it
+through the gates.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+SAM: I don’t think anyone can make it through the
+gates, except for you.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s what I was wondering what you were
+talking about.
+
+TALIESIN: I thought we were going to take the
+sewer to get in there.
+
+LAURA: I thought Beau might be able to get through
+the gates, actually.
+
+MARISHA: I could get through the gate.
+
+LAURA: Huh?
+
+TRAVIS: Because she’s got a cloak now.
+
+LAURA: Yeah and it’s not a magical disguise.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Cool.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll go check out– yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, where you want to go buddy?
+
+LIAM: I will go to Sutan’s.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, they’re both Sutan.
+
+LIAM: No, the elder, I’m sorry.
+
+SAM: Will you be able to get in?
+
+LIAM: Not without you. You’ll come with me?
+
+SAM: We’ll sneak on in through the sewers?
+
+LIAM: Well how do you want to do it?
+
+SAM: They’re talking about going straight in
+through the gate because they’re, you know, respectable.
+
+LAURA: (distraught) Well it’s such a thing to get
+into the sewers. We have to make a distraction and
+
+everything, every time.
+
+TALIESIN: Perhaps we should just have a two person
+reconnaissance for now.
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MARISHA: We can manage ourselves.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: We’re good.
+
+LAURA: Yes, we won’t get into any trouble.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you won’t bring back Clarota or
+nothing, it’ll be great.
+
+LAURA: We know our way around.
+
+TALIESIN: Too soon.
+
+TRAVIS: Can’t be.
+
+MARISHA: We got this, let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: Should we meet back at the Song & Supper
+Inn at what, sunset?
+
+MARISHA: What time is it?
+
+LAURA: Or just at the Leaky Tap.
+
+MATT: You got maybe an hour and half to two hours
+before sunset.
+
+LAURA: Let’s just meet back at the Leaky Tap.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, fair enough.
+
+SAM: At the Leaky–
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: The Leaky or the Song & Supper? We’re
+talking about two different– Leaky Tap.
+
+TRAVIS: Leaky Tap.
+
+MARISHA: Hour and a half, all right.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go.
+
+MARISHA: Break.
+
+LAURA: Woo!
+
+MATT: You both make your way toward the Tri-Spire.
+As you make your way towards the front entry gates
+
+there, one of the guards posted there is familiar
+with you and begins to let you through. As you approach–
+
+MARISHA: I flip it to the blue side, cobalt.
+
+MATT: As you pass through, a few steps behind
+Jester, the guard approaches, “Halt. I don’t
+
+believe I’ve seen you through here before.“
+
+MARISHA: Oh I’m–
+
+LAURA: She came through earlier. She’s with me.
+
+MARISHA: Literally like 24 hours ago.
+
+MATT: “Very well.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Steps back. You guys make your way,
+following the directions to the Gilded Willows.
+
+You see the massive tree-tops that fill out the
+skyline from your perspective. Every home seems to
+
+have a row of greenery between. It’s a very, very
+beautiful neighborhood. You can follow where the
+
+Constellation Bridge Tower as a beacon and as it
+guides you towards its area it doesn’t take long
+
+for you to see the large, gaudy, three-story
+complex that is Lord Sutan’s home. You can see the
+
+gold leaf carving along the edges of each of the
+various stories in between. The dark green slats
+
+that are there, are coated in some sort of a
+lacquer material that almost glistens in the
+
+sunlight as it passes. The sunset colors now
+starting to make their way into the cloud-covered
+
+sky. You do see marble pillars at the corner of
+the estate’s grounds. With iron gates that link
+
+each of them, with about maybe five foot bit of
+simple lawn-hill that separates the gap between
+
+the gate and the building itself.
+
+MARISHA: Are the gates chained shut or does it
+look like there’s a lever?
+
+MATT: Well the gates on all them are solid except
+for in the very front and the very back. Both of
+
+them appear to be closed and locked. You do see,
+posted at the front of the front door, there are
+
+two crownsguard that are there keeping watch. On
+the back end as you case around to the rear side
+
+of the home, there is a singular crownsguard and a
+dog that is on a chain.
+
+MARISHA: Two in front. Does it look like there’s
+any blind spots, any trees that go up and cusp over
+
+the walls?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Hashtag NBC Blindspot.
+
+MARISHA: Not good. Eleven.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to see where any perspective would
+be a blind spot. For entry, other than above or
+
+from the sides because the front and back seem
+pretty well covered by these guards, as they’re
+
+currently posted and standing there. So the only
+things that really make sense would be either
+
+flanking the building or something that guides you
+over top. That’s all you can think of.
+
+LAURA: How high are the buildings next to the
+house?
+
+MATT: The one that is immediately to the left of
+it is two-story, it’s a shorter building. There is
+
+a tree to the immediate right of it that rises up
+to about the height, if not a little taller, than
+
+the actual home itself. The building next to it is
+another two stories. This one lords over the other
+
+buildings, but there is one large tree that is
+about five feet from the edge of the wall.
+
+LAURA: Okay. That seems usable.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a big jump but we can do it. It’s
+not too big.
+
+LAURA: Like a five feet jump?
+
+MARISHA: That’s doable, yeah.
+
+LAURA: From, like a swinging branch?
+
+MARISHA: From rooftop to wall.
+
+MATT: It’s five feet to the wall, and then about
+five feet from the wall to the actual building. So
+
+it’s a ten foot from the tree to the roof.
+
+TALIESIN: Could you parkour the wall?
+
+MATT: You could certainly try.
+
+MARISHA: That was what I was thinking, wall to
+wall.
+
+SAM: Monk shit.
+
+TALIESIN: I knew you were already there.
+
+MARISHA: Do they look like one of the–
+
+MATT: The gate’s about eight feet tall and the
+building is three stories. So I mean there are
+
+some roof-edge perches the stories kinda taper
+with each additional floor. So there is a small
+
+space, maybe a foot, a foot and a half wide that
+you could shoot for. If there was something you
+
+wanted to try but–
+
+LAURA: Are there windows on that side of the
+house?
+
+MATT: There are no windows on the base floor, or
+at least none that you can see. The second floor
+
+you do see one set of double windows that open.
+Though they are currently closed. Those are on the
+
+two side edges of the building.
+
+LAURA: Is there a balcony connected to them?
+
+MATT: No. There’s no balcony.
+
+MARISHA: No balcony. So there appear to be–
+
+MATT: The only balcony you saw was in the large
+balcony at the front of the High-Richter’s home,
+
+but not on this one.
+
+MARISHA: No balcony, okay.
+
+LAURA: So a few guards.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+LAURA: A dog.
+
+MARISHA: A dog, I like dogs.
+
+LAURA: I love dogs.
+
+MATT: As you glance at the back of the building,
+the doors that you see immediately, there is one
+
+set of doors that is the front with the two guards
+are. The back where the other gate entrance is,
+
+there isn’t another door that leads into the home.
+There is a double-cellar door that descends
+
+beneath. That is what is currently being guarded
+with a man and the dog.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I wonder if anything would lure the
+guards away from the house.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, maybe a drunk. A drunkard trying to
+break in somewhere else?
+
+LAURA: Maybe.
+
+MARISHA: You know, a public disturbance.
+
+LAURA: Maybe a drunk trying to talk to them in the
+front of the house or something.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Or in the back.
+
+MARISHA: I mean our group is pretty good at
+causing distractions.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: They can do that. That’s totally-
+
+LAURA: Some people jump up and over?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It’s going to have to go fast.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Oh man. Maybe we could get some rope
+and a grapple.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah we could do that.
+
+LAURA: We could throw a grapple for ten feet, I
+know that.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have a climber’s kit?
+
+MATT: Do you have a climber’s kit?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t have a climber’s kit, but we can
+go buy a climber’s kit.
+
+LAURA: We can go get a climber’s kit.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I just got a shit-load of ball bearings.
+
+TALIESIN: I got ball bearings, man.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Guys, let’s challenge ourselves. We have
+to break in, only using ball bearings.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: How do we do it?
+
+MATT: The new D&D nightmare mode.
+
+LIAM: (shiftily) You need some some ball bearings
+man?
+
+MATT: You’re all level one bards with nothing but
+ball bearings, go.
+
+TALIESIN: Call me pinball wizard.
+
+LAURA: We did a good job scouting this place out
+and stuff.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Do there seem to be any weak
+points, any loose bricks in the walls?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately–
+
+MARISHA: As we walk by, I’m playing with the wall,
+but I’m testing for weak spots.
+
+MATT: Well the wall is an iron gate. They’re all
+long, iron fencing gate. There are the marble
+
+pillars at the corner of each one. So it’s open,
+it’s a series of bars.
+
+LAURA: Are they pointy-top iron bars?
+
+MATT: They are. They are poodle impalers.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah that changes things, the
+landscape.
+
+MARISHA: I understand now.
+
+TRAVIS: You can see if it hurts your hand if you
+touch it.
+
+LAURA: I bet it does.
+
+MARISHA: Oh there’s no–
+
+LAURA: Can you stick your fingers through the
+bar?
+
+MATT: Do you want to try it?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: You die.
+
+MATT: Okay as you place your hand through the
+bar–
+
+TRAVIS: No fucking way.
+
+MATT: Nothing happens.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughs) Ah, you son of a bitch.
+
+MATT: No, it’s fine.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: (vaporized noise)
+
+LAURA: Disintegrate.
+
+MATT: Game over.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, new character.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: You know, when I used to hop fences back
+where I came from–
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm?
+
+SAM: Where was that?
+
+MATT: You’re not there.
+
+SAM: Oh I’m not there.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: If you’re ever trying to get over
+barbed-wire or any pointy fences, you take a rug
+
+or a bedroll, and you throw it over there, and you
+hop over and you–
+
+LAURA: That’s personal Marisha experience isn’t
+it?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah I mean–
+
+TRAVIS: That’s some Fight Club shit.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just throwing that out there. It
+works.
+
+TALIESIN: A plank of wood will work too.
+
+LAURA: I feel like that would be a really good
+idea. I feel like it might be a little noticeable
+
+to carry around a rug.
+
+MARISHA: A bedroll is not too bad.
+
+LAURA: Most people in the Tri-Spire don’t carry
+around bedrolls.
+
+LIAM: (coo) Haversack (coo).
+
+LAURA: Yes but it’s little.
+
+MATT: Shh.
+
+LAURA: You’re not there.
+
+SAM: It’s not him, it’s a pigeon.
+
+MATT: That’s true, you’re right Sam.
+
+SAM: There’s a metagaming pigeon in this.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: (coo) Remember (coo).
+
+MATT: (coo) Bonus action (coo).
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: (coo) Hunter’s Mark.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Can we please make the metagaming pigeon a
+thing now? I’ve played with a few in my time.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Turn Undead (coo).
+
+MATT: All right. Anything else you guys want to do
+while you’re there?
+
+LAURA: I think– are we good?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s go.
+
+MATT: Okay. Do you guys want and try for a
+climber’s kit on your way back?
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+MATT: Okay. It takes a little bit of time to find
+a place because some of the shops are starting to
+
+close past sunset. The time it took you guys to
+get there, do a full casing and come back the sun
+
+has set and the sky is getting darker. However,
+thankfully a climber’s kit is not all that
+
+expensive. With a full cost on that– come on.
+Climber’s kit– ha, I was wrong, 25 gold.
+
+MARISHA: (groans)
+
+LAURA: What if we don’t want the whole kit, just
+the grapple part of it and the rope?
+
+MATT: Just the grappling hook?
+
+TALIESIN: We have rope.
+
+MATT: Two gold.
+
+LAURA: And the rope?
+
+MARISHA: We’re just trying out the gym. We’re not
+fully committed to it yet.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Right, can I get a consultation
+first?
+
+LAURA: What is fully included in the climber’s
+kit?
+
+MATT: (funny voice) Ah, climber’s kit includes a lot of things.
+(normal voice) Includes special pitons, boot tips, gloves, and a
+
+harness. That’s for mountain climbing.
+
+LIAM: CrossFit T-shirt.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I have pitons, and a hammer, and rope.
+
+MATT: Some nice core balls you can sit on. Yeah,
+so you want a grappling hook and rope? You can get
+
+those. Those are cheaper.
+
+LAURA: Yes that would probably be a good idea.
+
+MATT: Grappling hook is two gold and the rope–
+you want silk or hempen?
+
+LAURA: (whispering) The cheaper one.
+
+MATT: That would be hempen, so that’s one gold.
+
+SAM: You’re probably more familiar with silk
+bindings.
+
+MATT: So three gold for a single grappling rope
+and rope.
+
+LAURA: That I use for different things.
+
+SAM: Got it.
+
+LAURA: I don’t use them at all.
+
+MATT: So mark down that you have a grappling hook
+and 50 feet of hempen rope.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys are accomplishing
+that, the rest of you–
+
+LAURA: I’ll get rid of– I’ll pay for it.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: The rest of you, what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I don’t think we want the group to be too
+big. Let these two handle this Ren and you and I
+
+will wait at the Leaky Tap and lay low.
+
+SAM: You want to let them go off on their own?
+
+LIAM: We don’t want to create– why do we want a
+group–
+
+TRAVIS: You’ve never heard of safety in numbers
+and all that shit?
+
+SAM: They have to break in somewhere, they’re going
+to be–
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah man. I just figured you’d be a part
+of this.
+
+SAM: I mean, I’m with you Caleb. If you don’t want
+to go then let’s go back to the Leaky Tap.
+
+LIAM: No, we’re going to break into houses
+together. Of course I’m willing to do this. I just
+
+feel like for this– what are you planning to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Just some simple reconnaissance. See if we
+can see Ren, maybe have a conversation with him.
+
+If he’s not a total prick, I don’t know, maybe
+he’s got some of his dad’s handwriting.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+SAM: We don’t have to go, I don’t care.
+
+LIAM: No it’s fine.
+
+SAM: It sounds scary to me.
+
+LIAM: No I– my head is not in the game. We’ll go
+along.
+
+TRAVIS: Great, we’re going to head towards the
+Apple Tree Tuneship? What did I write here?
+
+MATT: (laughs) The Tutoring Village.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god. Nine, twelve.
+
+MATT: Twelve, okay. It takes you a little while to
+get there. You haven’t actually been to the Tutor
+
+Village before.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay, same difference. So you manage,
+through asking questions and finding your way
+
+around, you manage to get to the Tutor Village
+right around sunset. You do see, about one block
+
+over, the large, white-peach building that you had
+previously been told by Dolan. You see the sign
+
+up; it’s called the Guided Hand Infirmary. It’s
+one story, but it stretches wide towards the back.
+
+It’s like a large shotgun building.
+
+TRAVIS: Guided Hand Infirmary?
+
+MATT: The Guided Hand Infirmary. You can see light
+from the interior. There are two windows at the
+
+front, and a row of windows as it continues down
+the back of the alley. The alley, you can see,
+
+actually lights up, because the bright interior
+warm light reflecting off of the buildings on the
+
+opposite side, down the alley on each parallel end
+of it. The building itself seems fairly well made,
+
+there’s elements of a plaster material put against
+the wood to make it seem a little less cracked and
+
+broken on the vicinity around it. It looks like a
+little more money went into this complex than a
+
+lot of the surrounding buildings.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. He’s a physician. Well, before we
+put a personal touch on it, do you people with
+
+sneaky abilities want to see what you can see in
+the windows?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, well, we could send Frumpkin to have a
+look around.
+
+SAM: That’s a good idea.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin. He will run around the
+entire building, if he’s able. He’s also able to
+
+climb things, so I will get him up on top of
+window sills, if he can, to take a look inside.
+
+MATT: As Frumpkin curls up and jumps onto the
+windowsill, and you glance through the vision of
+
+your familiar. The first window you come across,
+inside, it’s a simple room, it’s painted a similar
+
+white, peach color. There’s a single bed, maybe
+twin size, with a single sheet. You see an
+
+individual who is currently lying on it, with not
+quite Caleb dirty clothes, but not an
+
+upperclassman by any means. Upperclassman? Not
+what I was going for, that’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: Seniors ‘99!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Wooo! Sydney football rules. Weird. But, you
+do see this individual is currently has a full arm
+
+bandaged, with blood soaked and dried on parts of
+it, and they are currently asleep, and the door is
+
+closed. There is a lantern inside that is set to
+keep the room warm.
+
+LIAM: Is there the ability for Frumpkin to move
+around to the exact opposite side of this building?
+
+MATT: Yeah, have him move around, go around the
+front.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, he will jump up to any windowsill on
+the back of the house as well.
+
+MATT: As Frumpkin keeps watch on each of these,
+each chamber seems to either be empty or there’s
+
+somebody in some state of either rest, or waiting.
+You see one person, a younger girl maybe fifteen
+
+or sixteen years old, who is waiting on the edge
+of a bed, sitting quietly in a room by herself.
+
+Glancing around, she looks over and sees Frumpkin,
+and goes, “Kitty!” and makes the hand motion to
+
+try and pet– You go around the back door and you
+can see one room has two beds that currently have
+
+two individuals that are coughing heavily. They’re
+sick with something pretty bad, and there is a
+
+person inside that is dressed in a white robe that
+is in the process of bringing them both broth, but
+
+they have a mask over their face, a piece of cloth
+tied behind, and it looks like they’re treating
+
+some diseased patients. This is, for all intents
+and purposes, an infirmary.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, did you say this was a one story
+building?
+
+MATT: It’s a one story building, but it’s quite
+long. It goes back quite a bit. Other buildings
+
+are spotty and build the space around the outside
+of this block, whereas this infirmary stretches
+
+the entire length of the block.
+
+LIAM: Five to ten minutes of hopping from ground
+to window a bunch of times, all I find are patient
+
+rooms. No sort of office or anything else?
+
+MATT: Correct, it looks like all– It looks like
+it’s built so that all the rooms that have
+
+sunlight are the rooms where the patients would
+stay. Anything important would be kept in the
+
+interior of the building.
+
+LIAM: One last thing, how high is the roof?
+
+MATT: The roof is about, I’d say, 12 feet up.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, come here. Scooch down for a second,
+and I jump up onto– I’ve taken my vision back– I
+
+jump up onto his back. Now, stand up!
+
+TRAVIS: 11 strength. Okay… Oof!
+
+LIAM: Okay. I snap at Frumpkin, and he vanishes,
+and I reach out, and Frumpkin appears. I am now
+
+within ten feet, I would assume, of the top of the
+building, so Frumpkin is on the roof.
+
+(teleportation noise) I want to send him to look–
+Then I hop down off of Ford and put my hand and
+
+steady myself on Fjord and have Frumpkin look for
+any holes in the roof, or if there’s a skylight,
+
+or anything. Probably not, but it’s worth a try.
+
+MATT: As you’re focusing, Fjord, you notice a small
+child, maybe five or six years old, this scruffy
+
+reddish hair and a dirty smashed face, walks up
+and goes, “What happened to the kitty?”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, you know, it ran up on the roof. We
+were trying to chase her down. You want to see if
+
+maybe she ran around the corner?
+
+MATT: “I was going up to pet it, and it went
+away!”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. They’re tricksy like that.
+
+MARISHA: Second time your cat just vanished.
+
+TRAVIS: Tell you what, if I see it, I’ll call out.
+What’s your name?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’m Simon.”
+
+TRAVIS: Simon, okay.
+
+MARISHA: Simon!
+
+SAM: We found him.
+
+LAURA: Simon became a real boy.
+
+MATT: He’s a real boy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Simon, I’ll call out if I see him. Why
+don’t you see, if you run the other way, see if
+
+you can find him.
+
+MATT: “Okay.” He runs around the other side of the
+building. Frumpkin is on top. And, looking at the
+
+top, the front of it looks really nice. The top,
+which nobody sees, doesn’t look that great. It’s a
+
+pretty shoddy, wooden slats over wooden slats,
+across the entirety of the roof complex. You can
+
+see one small trap door, about the center of it,
+that is currently closed.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I call him back.
+
+MATT: (Meowing)
+
+LIAM: Then I (snaps fingers). And then he’s on my
+shoulder.
+
+MATT: At which point, you hear a kid go, “Whoa!”
+Simon is now on the side, staring at this
+
+disappearing and reappearing cat.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, cats are the best. I don’t know,
+there’s a trap door up there, but, I mean, we’re
+
+not going in.
+
+SAM: Go. Go away! Go. Go away! Shoo! Go away!
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughing) Oh my god.
+
+SAM: 14.
+
+MATT: 14. (screaming) and he runs.
+
+SAM: Oh, sorry.
+
+LIAM: Well done there, yeah. What do we want to
+do? This place is full of sick people.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. Unless Ren is actually on the
+inside. If they had an office, maybe we could
+
+rifle through some–
+
+LIAM: Yeah. And if we’re going in, what do we do?
+We could have one of us be ill perhaps.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Or just ill on the front doorstep
+and keep them occupied.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I could, you know, kick the shit out
+of Nott in the face, and then be like (yelling).
+
+SAM: I mean, we’ve got Mollymauk with us. Why
+don’t you just do the same thing to him?
+
+TRAVIS: I could kick the shit out of Nott in the
+face, and then like–
+
+SAM: I don’t appreciate this. At all. I feel like
+I’m being singled out because I’m a woman.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: A better idea, perhaps, is for one of–
+You’re able to disguise yourself, right?
+
+TALIESIN: To a point.
+
+LIAM: There’s three of us, that we can all
+disguise ourselves. I can make myself look like
+
+like a sick person.
+
+TRAVIS: Although, he’s a physician. So he might
+try to, you know, check. And I think, up to touch,
+
+it falls apart.
+
+LIAM: Well, you can make yourself look like you,
+but with not green skin.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s standard carny practice to be able
+to fake boils and stuff with a disguise kit to
+
+leper up a bit?
+
+MATT: It would take you about an hour or so to do
+so. To a studied physician, probably not going to
+
+hold up.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+MATT: You can certainly try. Depending upon how
+high you roll.
+
+TALIESIN: Could fake some sick on people.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, I could mimic whatever you
+have, and try to stay at arm’s length.
+
+TALIESIN: You can just drag me in.
+
+TRAVIS: I like it. Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: I can make a scene.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. I like that. Then you two try to get
+into the office somehow?
+
+SAM: If there is an office.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m assuming there is. It’s a doctor’s
+office, right?
+
+LIAM: There is some sort of trapdoor in the center
+of that building that I don’t think is mirrored by
+
+any of the rooms that I was able to see on the
+outside of the building. So it’s like a donut with
+
+a hole in the middle, is where, maybe, what you’re
+looking for.
+
+TRAVIS: I think that makes sense. We’ll cause a
+ruckus, see what you can find.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Ruckus, you and I go in.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Have we talked about the other house
+yet? Because the distraction was obvious.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it?
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: What kind of dog was it?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, they’re not here.
+
+TALIESIN: Was it a guard dog?
+
+TALIESIN: They haven’t gotten back yet. Nevermind,
+all right, I’m jumping ahead.
+
+TRAVIS: It was a Chihuahua on a chain.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re in!
+
+TRAVIS: Fierce as shit. Spiked collar, tongue
+out–
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to need a bigger boat.
+
+MARISHA: Its name was Princess.
+
+CALEB: We’re going to walk right in. These two are
+going to create such a fuss.
+
+TRAVIS: How long do you need to make
+your face all lepered up?
+
+TALIESIN: About an hour?
+
+MATT: About an hour.
+
+TALIESIN: And who said I was going to do my face?
+
+LIAM: Couldn’t you maybe act like–
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t want them to look at it too
+closely.
+
+SAM: Look like you’re just– Cough and stuff?
+
+LIAM: Could you be a sick tiefling?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I’m going to do that, too. I’ve got
+a plan.
+
+MATT: You’re going to spend time and apply.
+
+SAM: Oh, I’ve got it, I’ve got it. Faster. What if
+Caleb burns all of your clothing and you go in as
+
+a burn victim?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re not going to touch my clothing.
+
+CALEB: That’s not, we’re not doing that.
+
+TALIESIN: No, we’re not setting fire to my
+clothing. I’m going to mess up my junk what fierce.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+LAURA: Gross.
+
+MATT: In the street?
+
+TALIESIN: No, back at the– do we have a place
+where I can work, or am I going back to the Leaky
+
+Tap? Or is that too far away?
+
+MATT: That’s up to you, you can try and duck into
+a shady corner. And spend an hour.
+
+LAURA: Spend an hour painting your dick?
+
+TALIESIN: An hour painting my dick? No, I’m going
+to need some privacy for that.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I’m also going to need to order some
+breakfast food. Something eggy.
+
+LAURA: Ugh.
+
+TRAVIS: For fuck’s sake, Jesus. Really?
+
+TALIESIN: Really.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. All right.
+
+TALIESIN: I thought you wanted a distraction!
+
+TRAVIS: I do! I’m all about this. Let’s go find
+breakfast. Jesus.
+
+LIAM: When we go in, we don’t walk in just you and
+me. We do Mother’s Love.
+
+SAM: Yes. Yes. We do Mother’s Love.
+
+LIAM: Just in case.
+
+SAM: Yes, good idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we find a tavern?
+
+TALIESIN: A Denny’s, whatever. The worst pub
+ever.
+
+MATT: You can get yourself some evening scrambled
+eggs for five copper.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we need sunny-side up, don’t we?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m going to scramble everything.
+I’m going to get some beer. I’m going to get some
+
+mayo. I’m going to get a little bit of everything,
+I’m going to put it in my–
+
+LAURA: In your butt.
+
+MATT: All right. If you’re gathering all those
+materials from a scattered meal–
+
+TALIESIN: A little bit of hot sauce.
+
+MATT: We’ll put it at about eight copper for the
+total.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll pay for it. Don’t. It’s on me.
+
+TALIESIN: No problem. We’re going to put it in
+my– I’ve got a little water sack. I’m going to
+
+mix it all up and put it in there and wait till
+we’re ready to go.
+
+MATT: Okay. I’m going to say for this, go ahead
+and roll a d20. Add your proficiency bonus and
+
+intelligence modifier.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, stage makeup class!
+
+TALIESIN: D20, proficiency bonus, intelligence
+modifier?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Because this is about trying to come
+up with an accurate means of looking like you’ve
+
+been infected with something.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 11.
+
+MATT: 11. Okay. You take an hour and you’re pretty
+proud of it. You think it’ll work fine.
+
+SAM: Did you add your intelligence bonus?
+
+TALIESIN: I have no intelligence bonus.
+
+SAM: Oh, great.
+
+TRAVIS: Do I dare ask what it looks like?
+
+TALIESIN: You can see.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, show us the goods. What did you do to
+yourself? Oh!
+
+TRAVIS: Why would you even?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the brilliance, is no one’s going
+to look that closely.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s in your brain forever.
+
+TALIESIN: Literally forever.
+
+MATT: For a month.
+
+MARISHA: This is going to be the weirdest fanart.
+
+TALIESIN: Shit! I didn’t even think about that!
+God damn it.
+
+LIAM: I will have Jester sketch it out and we will
+have it forever.
+
+TRAVIS: Are we ready to do this? Are you ready to
+make a damn fool of yourself?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m always ready to make a damn fool of
+myself.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Let’s go. We go up to the front
+door. Where are y’all going?
+
+LIAM: We’re going to hang back. Is there a nook or
+an alley within view of this?
+
+MATT: There’s alleys on each side, but they both
+have windows that are lit, so you would be in one
+
+of those vicinities.
+
+LIAM: Can we go half a block away?
+
+MATT: You could. You would be at a distance
+though.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s fine for the moment. For the
+moment, yeah. Get ready, we’re going to do
+
+Mother’s Love.
+
+SAM: How will we know when to go?
+
+LIAM: We’re going to watch them at the door.
+
+MATT: All right. So the two of you enter. You go
+through the front door. It’s a double door. It
+
+pushes open. It doesn’t appear to have resistance,
+it’s on a hinge. You push in, and at the front
+
+there’s a clerk there, wearing the same white
+robe: a middle-aged man, receding hairline, short
+
+hair, big bulbous red nose, some pock-marking on
+his cheek. He looks up. “Can I help you?”
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m fine. I’m perfectly, perfectly
+fine. I don’t need to do any of this.
+
+TRAVIS: (coughing) No, you need help. It’s real
+gross.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m fine!
+
+MATT: He reaches down and pulls a cloth up and
+puts it immediately over his face. “Okay, um– ”
+
+TALIESIN: No, I don’t – I was born in a place
+like this. I don’t want anything to – I’m going
+
+to give myself a little (grunt). Sir, there’s –
+(vomit). I’m going to go for it right in his face.
+
+LIAM: The ruckus is audible all the way down the
+block, so I turn myself into a half-orc woman and
+
+pick up Nott like my baby and put her head on my
+shoulder and start walking towards the building.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re doing that, I need you to
+roll a deception check with advantage because
+
+you’re helping.
+
+TALIESIN: Magnets, how the fuck do they work?
+That’s nice. 21.
+
+MATT: 21! As soon as you spray in the face, he’s
+like (sputtering). Takes the scarf off and
+
+(panting) “Sit down, please!” He points over to a
+bench on the side.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start crawling along the
+floor and i’m going to cut myself a little bit on
+
+my neck. Since I’m used to it, I don’t mind a
+little blood. I’m giving myself a good cut, maybe
+
+there’ll be a little ice fleck. I don’t know if I
+want to activate that, if it’ll work on my
+
+fingernails, but what the fuck. I’m going to start
+crawling, leaving a trail of vomit into the next
+
+room, going, no! No!
+
+MATT: Take a point of damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Yup.
+
+TRAVIS: I go the opposite direction he starts
+walking. (hacking cough)
+
+MATT: The clerk at this point goes, “Please! Stay
+tight, I’m going to– shit!” He leaves the room.
+
+SAM: Go, go, go, go!
+
+LIAM: We peer in the door. What is going on in
+this room at this point?
+
+MATT: You walk in as you see there’s a spray of
+stuff across the clerk’s counter. You see both
+
+Mollymauk and Fjord crawling in opposite
+directions across the floor as you hear footsteps,
+
+and the clerk had just rushed out of the chamber
+down the hallway.
+
+LIAM: We are going to go between them like Noah
+through the water. Oh, that’s the wrong – Moses, yeah.
+
+SAM: Like Noah through the ark!
+
+LIAM: There’s vomit and eggs everywhere!
+
+MATT: What you see now is there’s two hallways.
+There’s one to each side as you enter. Where the
+
+clerk’s desk was, it looks like there’s all the
+rooms you saw on the right side, all the rooms you
+
+saw on the left side, and there are chambers in
+the center of the building with the two hallways
+
+that bisect the two areas. You can choose right or
+left, it’s up to you. The clerk went down the
+
+right side.
+
+LIAM: I will take the left one if the clerk went
+down the right side.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re rushing with Nott in your
+arms, you head into the hallway on the left side
+
+and you glance and can immediately see another
+person with a robe, who is holding a small satchel
+
+of some sort of greenish material. They walk and
+see you. “Excuse me, can I help you?”
+
+LIAM: (crying)
+
+SAM: (baby wails)
+
+MATT: Make a deception check, please.
+
+SAM: Oh, no, me? That’s a negative one. (shriek)
+
+MATT: “What seems to be the problem?” He looks, as
+opposed to being empathically interested in your
+
+well-being, is genuinely disturbed by the sound
+the child is making, Rosemary’s Baby style.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin appears on the back of the guy’s
+neck and starts tearing in.
+
+SAM: Oh, God, you’re using it to attack? You can
+do that?
+
+MATT: Roll an attack for Frumpkin, please.
+
+TRAVIS: My allergies are going to be shit in about
+five seconds. My worst nightmare.
+
+LIAM: Oh, my gosh, for a cat? I mean, it’s a 13
+plus I don’t know what.
+
+MATT: That hits, he’s wearing a robe. Go ahead and
+roll.
+
+LIAM: Starts clawing. One?
+
+MATT: We’ll say it’s one point of damage, is a
+cat’s scratch. As it’s clawing, he’s (screaming).
+
+He starts screaming and grabs Frumpkin on his back
+and tries to pull him and throw him off. Frumpkin
+
+full-on spins, scatters, all claws and legs out,
+lands on the ground. (Angry cat sound) Full
+
+puff-up, tail and everything. At this point you
+watch another doorway flip open, and you see a man
+
+come out with very short brown hair on the sides
+with a pompadour in the front and a similar white
+
+robe, but it looks like it’s longer-sleeved with
+more detail. He goes, “What is all this ruckus happening?”
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, I hate him. I hate him already.
+
+MATT: “What is a cat doing here? Get the cat!” He
+watches as the clerk says, “I don’t – shoo! Shoo!
+
+Shoo!” He’s trying to get Frumpkin to leave now.
+
+TALIESIN: Off in the distance you hear, You have
+no legal authority over me! (vomit)
+
+TRAVIS: (hacking cough)
+
+MATT: There’s now other workers of the infirmary
+coming out of the rooms that are all starting to
+
+gather. The one who saw you in the hallway is now
+coming towards you while shooing Frumpkin out. You
+
+watch the guy who had left the chamber head back
+into the office and close it. People are starting
+
+to scatter. You guys are waiting in the two rooms
+now, you said? You found two separate rooms?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just running the hall.
+
+MATT: You’re just running the hall?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m crawling in the hall.
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m standing there like (hacking cough). I
+think I shit my pants!
+
+MATT: So you’re coughing loud in the room. You’re
+crawling in the hall. Behind them?
+
+LIAM: Is there enough chaos for us to step into
+one of these open rooms and shut the door behind us?
+
+MATT: We’ll find out in a second. Now we have you
+spitting and freaking out. The two clerks that are
+
+trying to push Frumpkin out are trying to escort
+you. They see you. They’re like, “Sir? Sir?” They
+
+start grabbing your arms and lifting you up.
+
+TALIESIN: (vomit) I’m still bleeding from the
+neck.
+
+MATT: They start dragging you into one of the
+rooms on the side. They open one room and there’s
+
+somebody in there already who was sleeping but is
+starting to come to, going, “What’s happening?”
+
+“Sorry!” They close the door, go to the next
+chamber, and start dragging you into an empty room.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to immediately – I’m going to
+go limp.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Then the minute the door’s open, I’m
+going to make a break for it.
+
+MATT: All right. They open the door–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m out!
+
+MATT: You bolt?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to bolt. Full speed.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Athletics or acrobatics?
+Athletics?
+
+MATT: Actually, this would be your choice.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yay. That’s nice. Nine?
+
+ALL: Nine!
+
+MATT: You try and pull away, but in the moment,
+they’re genuinely worried about your well-being.
+
+They’ve probably had patients try and make big
+physical actions while they’re in their care, and
+
+they hold you back.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s magic! I’m possessed! I turn to one
+and go, (in a guttural voice) The power of Christ
+
+compels you! I’m going to use Devil’s Tongue and
+I’m going to do a couple points of damage to him.
+
+MATT: Devil’s Tongue or Vicious Mockery?
+
+TALIESIN: Vicious Mockery.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, lord. Oh no.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s only a couple points.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s 11. What’s your DC on it?
+
+TALIESIN: On Vicious Mockery? Where’s my – I’m
+not used to magic. It’s so weird.
+
+MARISHA: I’d like to say, I feel pretty good about
+our casing mission.
+
+MATT: What’s your charisma modifier?
+
+TALIESIN: Charisma modifier is zero.
+
+SAM: Your modifier’s right there.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it? I’m blind. Where does it go?
+
+MATT: It’s fine. They succeed. You shout this and
+one of them (groan). They grab and throw you into
+
+the room. You (whoosh) into the chamber and they
+close the door, pushing you inside of it.
+
+TALIESIN: It would’ve been a plus three modifier,
+sorry.
+
+MATT: Well, what’s the DC of the spell is what I’m
+asking?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m trying to find that. I’m not used to
+magic.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, never mind.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. They shove you into the chamber.
+They close the door. You land on the ground and
+
+you hear it lock behind you.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: You are now a dangerous patient who needs
+other glancing. While that’s happening and they’re
+
+distracted by that, you guys–
+
+LIAM: Look for an empty room. Or is every room in
+the house full?
+
+MATT: I’d say about half of them are full. You see
+two chambers that are empty.
+
+LIAM: I go in and shut the door behind us.
+
+MATT: All right. You close the door. You guys both
+make stealth checks real fast.
+
+LIAM: A one.
+
+SAM: 21.
+
+MATT: All right. You enter the room and close it.
+What are you doing?
+
+SAM: What are we doing in here? We have to go back
+to the office!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but he’s in the office.
+
+SAM: We could – You’re right. Maybe we should
+just leave. Molly and Fjord will be fine, we’ll
+
+just leave.
+
+LIAM: We don’t know. That’s a no, we’re working
+together. We’re trying to work together with
+
+people. No, we have to get all of us out of here,
+which is more important than finding this asshole
+
+in the building. What do we do, what do we do?
+
+SAM: We have some– We could– I’m looking. What
+do we got? We could do Enemy of My Enemy?
+
+LIAM: That seems extreme at this moment.
+
+SAM: (stammering) You could set the place on fire.
+You could– I don’t know what to do!
+
+MATT: (knocking) “Hello? Is there somebody in
+here?”
+
+SAM: Shh!
+
+MATT: The door opens and you see that there’s a
+clerk who had apparently heard the door close
+
+behind you as you had entered the room and is now
+walking into this darkened chamber. As soon as the
+
+door opens, you guys are on the opposite side of
+the door. He walks over towards the lantern in the
+
+corner to light it, because the room is dark that
+you’re in. There’s nobody in there at the moment.
+
+He walks over.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go. Out we go.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s go! We’re going to run out the
+door.
+
+MATT: “Oh, wait! Wait!” You guys bolt past into
+the hallway. You guys dart out to the entrance and
+
+out into the night air.
+
+SAM: Wait, out of the hospital or just out of the
+room?
+
+LIAM: I wasn’t saying that, but I don’t mind.
+
+SAM: Just out of the room.
+
+MATT: Oh, just out of the room. You guys are out
+of the room and the person sees you.
+
+LIAM: No, but we’ll go down the hall towards the
+front of the building to look for, I would assume,
+
+Fjord and Molly at this point.
+
+MATT: Well, you guys find Fjord there, coughing
+loudly, while you are currently locked in this room.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. Is there a window?
+
+MATT: There is.
+
+TALIESIN: In the door?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Well, no. There’s a door, it’s a
+closed solid door, and there’s a window looking outside.
+
+TALIESIN: (cackling) Are there bars on the
+window?
+
+MATT: There’s not. No. There is one cross bar that
+is maintained, it’s more to support the four panes
+
+of glass, but that’s it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. I’m going to peek out the
+door to see if anybody’s coming for a minute.
+
+MATT: Peek out the door?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean the little door window.
+
+MATT: Sorry, there’s no window in the door.
+
+TALIESIN: No window in the door and the door is
+locked. Okay. I’m going to start gently meditating
+
+on breaking the window, or opening the window if
+it’ll open.
+
+MATT: Okay. While you’re meditating on that–
+
+LIAM: Is Fjord alone in this room?
+
+MATT: Fjord is alone in the room.
+
+LIAM: I turn and show him Nott.
+
+SAM: We got to go!
+
+TRAVIS: Did you get anything?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: Well don’t give up! (cough) I walk out
+towards them. Do you have a privy? I think I shat myself.
+
+MATT: There are two clerks now that were
+originally fleeing to get help and have come back
+
+now with the gentleman with the short brown hair,
+who’s exited the opposite side of the chamber now.
+
+“We’ve brought the doctor.” He moves before the
+doctor, who approaches. “All right, so you appear
+
+to be sick.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. (cough) I have a terrible cough and
+apparently my breakfast didn’t agree with me and I
+
+coughed a little too much and felt a pack in my
+pants.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Is this the doctor that we saw before?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: 15. 16.
+
+MATT: 16? He goes, “All right. Please have a seat
+in this chamber.”
+
+TRAVIS: I think I got shit in my pants. Can I
+visit the bathroom real quick? I don’t want it
+
+running down my thighs and stuff.
+
+MATT: “There’s an outhouse about two blocks down
+outside. Come back – ”
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t have anything in the building?
+
+MATT: “Get in the room. We’ll get you a pan.”
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Yeah. I go in the room.
+
+MATT: You go in the room, and one of them pulls
+out a metallic bedpan and sets it down on the side.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I have a little privacy while I check
+my undercarriage?
+
+MATT: They close the door immediately and then
+turn to you two: “We’ll get to him in a second.
+
+What’s your problem?”
+
+LIAM: (soft voice) Fever. She has a fever.
+
+MATT: “Let me see her.” He comes forward and puts
+his hands out towards Nott.
+
+SAM: (hisses)
+
+MATT: Do you do that? Make an intimidation check
+with advantage.
+
+SAM: Intimidation? Negative three?! How is that
+possible? 13.
+
+MATT: 13. The physician goes (screams), falls
+back. The other two clerks or physician helpers
+
+catch him: “Get it out! Get it out! Out! Shoo!”
+
+SAM: I’m going to scamper towards the office if I
+can, as fast as I can.
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check to try and dodge
+past their grasp as you begin to dart through their–
+
+SAM: Oh god. Nine? They got me. They got me,
+guys.
+
+MATT: As you run, all of a sudden there’s a tug on
+your cloak and the same younger physician who had
+
+told you to get out is clutching the back of your
+cloak and lifts you up off the ground. “Well then,
+
+someone’s going to play nice with the
+Crownsguard,” and turns and starts bringing you
+
+towards the exit. “You too, outside!”
+
+SAM: Oh no. This couldn’t have gone better.
+
+TRAVIS: Am I in the room by myself?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I cast Disguise Self and give myself
+the same sort of clerk/orderly outfit as…
+
+MATT: Yeah, easily.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe not looking exactly like one of
+them, but like them in a uniform.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Can I exit the room and come out
+into the hall?
+
+MATT: You exit out and the two other ones are
+looking a bit confused. He’s currently dragging
+
+Nott who’s flailing on the edge of the cloak,
+dangling, out into the main area.
+
+TRAVIS: Get him out of here. I walk past them,
+towards the office where the doctor is.
+
+MATT: Okay. He goes and throws you out onto the
+street. Pushes you out, Caleb, and goes “Guard!”
+
+and begins pointing loudly over there, down in the
+direction of where you tumbled and landed on the ground.
+
+LIAM: Wait, so who’s where outside?
+
+MATT: You guys got shoved out into the front of
+the facility. Nott got tossed, landed, and
+
+stumbled a few feet, and they’re now shouting for
+the guard and pointing at Nott.
+
+LIAM: Pointing at us? Okay.
+
+SAM: Enemy of My Enemy now?
+
+LIAM: (groans) That still seems extreme. We should
+just book it.
+
+SAM: Are you fast? All right, fine. I’m not
+leaving you. I’m much faster than you.
+
+MATT: You guys start bolting?
+
+SAM: We’re going to start to run.
+
+MATT: As you guys run, they don’t give chase
+because it’s not their job to do so, but they
+
+start shouting and shouting. I want you both to
+roll stealth checks to try and see if you can
+
+avoid the sight of the Crownsguard that are in the
+process of responding to the shout.
+
+SAM: 15 from me.
+
+LIAM: Only a ten for me.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys dart into the nearby
+shadows, plugging down a few alleyways, you hear
+
+some voices in the distance, some conversations,
+some shouting, and then some footfalls that get
+
+loud… and then get a little softer, and
+eventually a little softer and fade off. You just
+
+barely scraped by on that one.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: You, however, darted off towards the open
+office and as soon as you glance in there, you can
+
+see there is a desk set up, there is a chair,
+there are a number of large books and stacks of
+
+parchment. It looks like there is a whole rack up
+top with various medicinal herbs and salves that
+
+are categorized into small makeshift cubbies. This
+is where a lot of the treatment seems to be mustered.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I turn, and as I start to close the
+door behind me, can I look down the hallway and
+
+see if anybody is walking towards me in the
+hallway. Is it relatively clear?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s clear for the moment, but the man
+who was just in this office just finished
+
+throwing Nott outside and is in the process of
+talking with the Crownsguard. You don’t know how
+
+long you have until he returns.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I grab a handful of papers off the
+desk and put them under my shirt and start walking out?
+
+MATT: You palm a bunch and throw it in there, all
+right. You exit, just as you see them returning to
+
+the hallway with the physician straightening his
+outfit, making his way in your direction. Doesn’t
+
+even make eye contact with you, just brushes by
+and shoulder-checks you, which is hilarious
+
+because the size of your visual is much smaller,
+so it’s like (impact) “Watch it!” and was two
+
+inches away, but doesn’t seem to notice in the
+moment that he actually did so. Makes his way into
+
+the office, you hear the door close behind you,
+and the two other clerks frustratingly start
+
+scattering and making their way to the other
+chambers. One of them is talking to the other
+
+about, “I don’t know what happened. He went crazy
+and started spitting and was bleeding everywhere,”
+
+and they’re both making their way to the door
+where Molly is in.
+
+TRAVIS: That was very unruly; I need to excuse
+myself for a moment. I’ll head out of the infirmary.
+
+MATT: Okay. You head back out onto the street. You
+are in that chamber for a while. Are you doing anything?
+
+TALIESIN: How long has it been?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m heading out of the infirmary and I’m
+going to start wrapping around the building
+
+towards the side of the building that he was in.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m seeing how– is it possible to open
+the window?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: God, all these numbers I used to be good
+at, but I’m not good at anymore. Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten. Nothing easily does so. You can try and
+pry one of the panes out, but there’s a decent
+
+chance it might break in the process if you’re not
+careful.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fine.
+
+MATT: You’re going to try? You take one of your
+blades and you wedge it up underneath where the
+
+metal bar is, it’s holding the pane in place to
+see if you can wedge it out. Go ahead and make a
+
+straight dexterity check.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. One.
+
+MATT: It shatters and breaks on both sides of the
+window. You watch as the window shatters outward–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to jump out of it.
+
+MATT: The pane itself is about that big, so you’re
+going to take more of the window with you to do it.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s okay.
+
+MATT: All right! You shoulder-roll-leap through,
+shattering the window out of the infirmary,
+
+rolling into the alley. You see this happen as
+Molly is a chaotic spill of glass shards and
+
+purple skin.
+
+TRAVIS: Run!
+
+MATT: You guys bolt. At this point, as you head
+back, you’ve now seen the guards that have just
+
+run off to go after Nott hear the shatter and turn
+around to begin, some of them, to double back to
+
+where the sound of the glass breaking came from.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I point off in a different direction
+than Molly’s running, since I look like a hospital
+
+clerk nurse?
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Carry me. I’m going to jump into your
+arms while you do that.
+
+LAURA: No, no, he’s pointing the other direction!
+
+MATT: It’s too late!
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, no, I’m trying to understand the
+scene here. I thought they were looking at him.
+
+MATT: They are.
+
+LAURA: They’re looking at him, but you were
+running away.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, if I’m already– because I didn’t
+know if I was just standing–
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MATT: 15. The guards approach and they both look
+antsy, but they see you pointing away, and they
+
+both head in the direction that you were heading
+them off towards, as Molly’s about to leap into
+
+your arms.
+
+TALIESIN: I was already– towards…
+
+MATT: You guys have managed to find yourselves
+back into the chaotic evening of the streets of Zadash.
+
+LIAM: I think I was imagining a small mom-and-pop
+place with two physicians, but like 50 people in
+
+white coats came out–
+
+MATT: It’s like six.
+
+LIAM: I think it was more like 72, Matt, let’s be
+honest.
+
+MARISHA: In the meantime, me and Jester are like:
+What’s taking them so long?
+
+LIAM: Oh, that only took five minutes to go that
+bad.
+
+MARISHA: He took an hour to cosplay his dick!
+
+MATT: Which is still there, by the way!
+
+TALIESIN: I know, I’m going to save that for
+later.
+
+TRAVIS: As we’re walking back, can I start looking
+over the papers, looking for some sort of
+
+signature that says Richter or Prucine or
+anything?
+
+MATT: Yeah. As you guys make your way back to the
+Leaky Tap to eventually meet up, going through the
+
+paperwork, unfortunately, none of them have
+anything that signifies the High-Richter. They all
+
+seem to be various quick notes on bones breaks and
+resets, on various illnesses that have come
+
+through and treatments that have been applied,
+keeping tabs on return visits. It’s all various
+
+notes of–
+
+SAM: Anything from his dad?
+
+MATT: Nothing from Lord Sutan, unfortunately.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it was just on top of the desk.
+
+MATT: If you had possibly searched a little
+longer, you could have maybe found something, you
+
+think, but given the circumstances, it did not
+occur.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t really have anything to hold him.
+Crown of Madness!
+
+MATT: So you didn’t find anything you wanted to,
+and you probably definitely fucked up a few
+
+people’s recovery routine. But that’s fine. You
+guys eventually find your way back to The Leaky
+
+Tap. Your monk and your cleric are waiting for
+you, and you watch as these four individuals walk
+
+in looking a bit haggard.
+
+TRAVIS: Great success. Went off without a hitch.
+
+MARISHA: Why are you covered in mayonnaise and
+egg?
+
+LAURA: Why do you smell like beer?
+
+MARISHA: And hot sauce? Is that hot sauce?
+
+TALIESIN: That is, in fact, hot sauce. I’m going
+to empty out my canteen into the fire.
+
+LAURA: Gross.
+
+TALIESIN: I was making a distraction.
+
+TRAVIS: We found Ren. We–
+
+SAM: He’s heavily guarded. There was no way to get
+close enough.
+
+LAURA: Did you go in and say “Can I speak to Ren?”
+and then somebody else go in his office while
+
+somebody was in the front asking to talk to Ren?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s actually exactly what happened, it
+just didn’t go as well as you thought it might go.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Great minds think alike, though, Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: Fools seldom differ.
+
+MARISHA: You guys look real defeated, over here.
+You look palpably defeated.
+
+SAM: We almost had to kill an orderly.
+
+MARISHA: What?!
+
+SAM: It’s very embarrassing.
+
+LIAM: That’s true, it came very close.
+
+TRAVIS: How’d it go for you two?
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, we cased out his house. We found
+a big tree that we can hop the fence with. Oh, and
+
+we bought this rope and this grapple so that we
+can climb.
+
+LIAM: So you looked at the house and then you went
+shopping?
+
+LAURA: Well, so that we can break into the house,
+yes.
+
+LIAM: Tight, that’s tight.
+
+TALIESIN: I jumped through a window.
+
+MARISHA: You what?!
+
+TALIESIN: Full glass, it was great.
+
+LAURA: Is that what all of these things are?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, some of those are sequins, but
+yes, essentially.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+SAM: It was a good dry run for our real heist that
+we’re going to be doing in a day. So we’re working
+
+out the kinks…
+
+TRAVIS: Not promising.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not about the plan, it’s about the
+desire to improvise.
+
+LAURA: I cast Cure Wounds on Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yay. I had very little, so thank you
+for that.
+
+MARISHA: You know this could lead back to make it
+look suspicious if we go after Lord Sutan if his
+
+son was just broken into, right?
+
+SAM: Well, don’t worry about that because they
+definitely saw our real faces.
+
+LIAM: Not my face.
+
+SAM: Oh yes, you’re right. They only saw my real
+face, so maybe that’s okay.
+
+MARISHA: He’s going to know his medical notes are
+missing, right?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s an infirmary. They got to see
+terrible people in there all the time.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, agreed. In hospitals, you see all
+nature of people.
+
+MARISHA: All right, okay.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, nobody mentioned anything about
+needing handwriting, right?
+
+SAM: No, no.
+
+LIAM: No, there was not a lot of–
+
+LAURA: No talk of his father at all, right–
+
+LIAM: There was not a lot of talking, in fact.
+
+TALIESIN: It was probably just an attempt to steal
+medicinals.
+
+MARISHA: Sure, sure. All right.
+
+LAURA: Well, we have Ren’s handwriting. We could
+potentially put a note in somebody’s house with
+
+his stuff, but I don’t know if that’s what the
+plan is.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I mean, that works because as Dolan
+said, these fancy people tend to get other people
+
+to write their mail and do their paperwork for
+them, so…
+
+LIAM: Well, it could add credibility to the
+tapestry that we’re trying to weave here. The goal
+
+is still to get into Sutan elder’s home and get
+this seal.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that never changed.
+
+LIAM: Within the writings that we forge we could
+include some by the junior Sutan, so that would
+
+add some credibility to what we’re doing.
+
+TRAVIS: Might get us in past that outer wall, at
+least.
+
+LIAM: We still have to figure out what we are
+going to– if we are starting at Sutan’s house,
+
+then… We don’t have any writing of the
+High-Richter’s; we are either trying to focus on
+
+finding that somehow or, going on what you were
+discussing which is creating the appearance of an
+
+underling, or a for-hire of the High-Richter’s, or
+some kind of code saying that they are
+
+communicating with Sutan elder on behalf of the
+High-Richter, yeah?
+
+MARISHA: Nott, over here, knows a little bit of
+Thieves’ Cant.
+
+SAM: Do you need me to write something?
+
+MARISHA: It would look shifty.
+
+SAM: I could do that–
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, from my experience,
+normally if you’re trying to do a coup–
+
+LIAM: Experience as a what?
+
+MARISHA: As a rebellious teenage woman. In my
+experience, normally if you’re trying to do
+
+something bad, you’re not like “Dear diary, I did
+this bad thing. Signed, Beauregard.” You get what
+
+I’m putting down?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’d be obvious.
+
+MARISHA: Correct. We want to look– if it’s too
+obvious, it’s the opposite of convincing.
+
+TRAVIS: Sign it somebody else’s name.
+
+MARISHA: This guy goes by The Gentleman because he
+is smart. That’s all I’m saying.
+
+LIAM: We want to put information in Sutan’s
+house– elder– right? We could have some sort of
+
+writing that is not from the High-Richter, but
+that says “H-R would prefer the plans to go into motion–“
+
+LAURA: “H-R wants a meeting with you.”
+
+MARISHA: “Spoke to The Myriad,” yeah…
+
+TALIESIN: “Finalized the plans.”
+
+LIAM: I propose that we make it seem like Sutan
+and the High-Richter were conspiring to have
+
+Orentha killed. So we have a note put into Sutan’s
+house that says: “On behalf–” from an
+
+intermediary, “On behalf of HR, wants the plan to
+go into motion immediately and that Orentha will
+
+be out for the festival tonight.
+
+LAURA: The Big O. We should say Big O.
+
+LIAM: The Big O. That is good.
+
+SAM: We are so much better than the other people
+at planning like this.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Then we plant that in Sutan elder’s house
+when we successfully, quietly break in.
+
+LAURA: I’ll start writing that note right now.
+
+SAM: In block letters? Can’t be traced to anyone?
+That sort of thing?
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s an intermediary, so does not have
+to look–
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t really matter.
+
+LAURA: I’ll make it look crisp and–
+
+SAM: Make it look like evil calligraphy.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, like evil handwriting.
+
+LIAM: This letter perhaps on its own is not
+enough, but with the seal, if we have a matching
+
+letter planted in HR’s home–
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Got your messages. I will move the
+meeting up and the Big O is going to die for sure.
+
+SAM: Ooh yeah!
+
+MARISHA: And a little bribery if we’re trying to
+go for something.
+
+LAURA: But where are we going to get this money
+you keep talking about?
+
+TALIESIN: We can just promise them money.
+
+LAURA: Here’s the thing, having seen people be
+bribed before: you need very large sums of money
+
+for bribing. Especially with rich people. They’re
+not going to need 500 gold to do this sort of
+
+thing, they want 5000 gold for this sort of
+thing.
+
+MARISHA: It depends. If you’re just handing money
+off to an assassin. If it’s a lowly level person,
+
+might not need much. Doesn’t need to be the whole
+amount. Just needs to be a payment, maybe.
+
+SAM: A check?
+
+LAURA: A check? An IOU. “On behalf of HR– “
+
+LIAM: Keep your writing very plain. Not immensely
+charming–
+
+SAM: Traceable!
+
+LIAM: No, I mean not charming, like the way you
+speak.
+
+LAURA: So no hearts above the i’s then?
+
+LIAM: No. No.
+
+LAURA: I write, “On behalf of HR– “
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s good.
+
+LAURA: What comes after that?
+
+MARISHA: The Big O thing. The plan against the Big
+O.
+
+LIAM: “HR would like the plan to be moved
+forward.”
+
+MARISHA: “It will commence– “
+
+TRAVIS: “As discussed.”
+
+MARISHA: “Commence as discussed.”
+
+SAM: Sounds official.
+
+LAURA: “On behalf of HR, the plan– “
+
+LIAM: “The plan is moving up to tomorrow night, at
+the festival.”
+
+LAURA: “The plan is moving up to tomorrow night,
+at the festival.”
+
+LIAM: “The moment has come, and it is time for us
+to seize it.”
+
+LAURA: That’s what I write.
+
+MATT: Okay. You work out the logistics of that
+letter–
+
+MARISHA: And it sounds super boss.
+
+LAURA: “Yours truly, forever and ever, your BFF–
+“
+
+SAM: No, no!
+
+LAURA: No?
+
+SAM: Take out the part where you say, “Do you like
+me? If so, check this box.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I thought that tied the whole thing
+together.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I thought it was good.
+
+TRAVIS: And no perfume on the letter.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, you beat me to it! No signing it with
+a kiss.
+
+LAURA: If I fold it up like a little triangle.
+Just a simple–
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of dog?
+
+SAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: What kind of dog?
+
+LAURA: Oh wait! Should I fold it or should I
+scroll it?
+
+SAM: Scroll it! Because we’re going to–
+
+MATT: The guard dog that was outside of the home?
+
+TALIESIN: There’s a guard dog.
+
+MATT: It was a mastiff.
+
+TALIESIN: It was a mastiff? Was it a well-kept dog
+or– was it a dog of pride or just a dog of–?
+
+MATT: From what you guys saw of the mastiff, it
+wasn’t a show dog by any means, but it wasn’t a
+
+street dog they’re just using for the moment.
+
+TRAVIS: Was it a talking mastiff?
+
+MATT: One way to find out!
+
+TALIESIN: Does it look like the sort of dog that
+you can actually be proud of or is it just a utility?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s a utility dog. You’ve
+seen some dogs go around with members of the
+
+crownsguard before as part of the general– It’s
+more for an intimidation tactic. They’re rarely
+
+ever utilized, but the presence of a dog just make
+some people, especially those who work in darker
+
+categories, unsettled.
+
+TALIESIN: We have a cat.
+
+MARISHA: Can the cat become a mastiff?
+
+LAURA: Can the cat get the dog–
+
+LIAM: To chase it away.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Then someone would have to get the dog
+back.
+
+SAM: Just shoot the dog with an arrow and kill
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just talking about getting the dog–
+no!
+
+TRAVIS: Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: Somebody’s going to have to retrieve the
+dog if the dog goes running.
+
+MARISHA: Here’s the deal, Nott–
+
+LIAM: We don’t want a dead dog.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. we need to leave no trace. The only
+way this gets pulled off is if–
+
+TALIESIN: This is the subtle one.
+
+MARISHA: Is if no one thinks anyone was there.
+Ever.
+
+SAM: Show the dog your dick.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not showing anybody– there’s no
+more of that. What if the dog runs? The guard will
+
+have to get the dog back.
+
+LAURA: They’ll chase after the dog.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Frumpkin can do that very well.
+
+LAURA: We can try that. If it doesn’t work, then
+we try to jump up and over.
+
+LIAM: Also, sausages are very inexpensive, so we
+have that as a Plan B.
+
+MARISHA: We also have good ol’ Fjord, who can
+always disguise himself as a guard.
+
+LAURA: And relieve him.
+
+MARISHA: Correct.
+
+LAURA: Say that somebody really wants him over at
+the party.
+
+LIAM: Are they private guards, though, or are they
+crownsguard?
+
+MARISHA and MATT: They were crownsguard.
+
+MATT: They were assigned.
+
+LIAM: Do you know what, Nott, if you want– one
+idea, if you want to help, is you can also write a
+
+note in your Thieves’ Cant. It should be vague on
+details, but a message from the Myriad. Or don’t
+
+even get that specific, but write, in Thieves’
+Cant, a note saying that everything is in place
+
+for the festival.
+
+MARISHA: I think that’s a good idea.
+
+SAM: All right. Sure. I need a few papers.
+
+MARISHA: A few papers are always good.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys work your way through
+preparing this letter, condensing your plots for
+
+the next evening, and eventually find yourself to
+a night’s rest in preparation for the next day’s
+
+events, we’re going to take a break!
+
+LIAM: No, but I think we should go back to the
+hospital one more time.
+
+MATT: (laughs) Fucking D&D.
+
+LAURA: Watching your face, Matt, as all that was
+happening. You were like, what are they doing?
+
+MATT: Those are my favorite moments of the game!
+I’m like, I don’t– okay, guys! This is happening!
+
+This is all your fault.
+
+TALIESIN: It was a great plan.
+
+MATT: So yes, before we go to break, our friends
+at Wyrmwood have their giveaway for the evening.
+
+You need to be in the Twitch chat room to
+participate. Right now, the offer’s only good for
+
+residents of the United States and Canada,
+excluding Quebec, because, apparently, Quebec. For
+
+the official rules, you can find the link in the
+chat tonight, but tonight it is the Flame Box
+
+Elder Deck Box, which is pretty awesome. Oh, and
+it came with a Magic pack with a guy going (screams)
+
+LIAM: Is he at the hospital?
+
+MARISHA: Why is there a Magic pack in there?
+
+MATT: It’s a deck box. The pack comes with it,
+too. So go ahead and enter into the chat room–
+
+the word for this break is “Heist”. H-E-I-S-T.
+Remember, only enter it once. If you enter it more
+
+than once, you will be disqualified,
+unfortunately. We’ll get to that, and we’ll have
+
+the winner in the break. In the meantime, we’ll
+see you back here in a few minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello, and welcome back, everybody. We have
+a winner from the chat. Congratulations to
+
+PyroMalibu. PyroMalibu is the winner of the box.
+Denoba will get your information in the chat if he
+
+hasn’t already, and we’ll get that to you, so
+congratulations. So, as you guys all prepare for
+
+the evening’s rest, the next day– is there
+anything you needed to do before the next day
+
+happens?
+
+SAM: I would like to talk to Caleb. (clears
+throat) Oh, Caleb? Nott here. I have a favor to
+
+ask of you. I absconded with some items recently,
+and I wanted you to take a look at them with your
+
+keen eye.
+
+LIAM: Where did you get these items?
+
+SAM: It was not– I didn’t break in anywhere– I
+mean, we did, but it was cool because other people
+
+were with me. It’s when we went down into the
+basement to scout around for other entrances into
+
+the bottom of the Leaky Tap.
+
+LIAM: Under the Leaky Tap? And you found?
+
+SAM: I found a skeleton that had these bracelets
+on her? Him? They?
+
+LIAM: You found a skeleton?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I don’t know. I didn’t really have time
+to look at it.
+
+LIAM: You found a dead person?
+
+SAM: A very old dead person. Could be ancient.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but it’s not really typical to keep a
+dead– like a skeleton in your basement.
+
+SAM: I didn’t think about that, but yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Nor in your closet.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s a topic for the group. We’re
+staying in an inn where there was a dead person.
+
+SAM: I don’t think it’s haunted or anything. It
+just seemed like someone– it was stuffed way in
+
+the corner behind some boxes
+like someone wanted to–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s worse. That’s not better,
+that’s worse.
+
+SAM: I didn’t– I mean–
+I’m really just interested in these.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, that’s somewhat unsettling, but
+show me these items that you have.
+
+SAM: These are just bracelets that I found. I was
+wondering if you could use your magic skills.
+
+LIAM: I place them down on the bed and go through
+the process of casting Identify on them. It takes
+
+about ten minutes.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you finish the focus, you glance
+down at them, extending your consciousness to see
+
+if there’s any residual magic energy. They’re not
+enchanted, but they are made of a very nice, solid
+
+platinum with a gold spiral lay on them, once you
+pull the dust off, so they’re probably worth a
+
+little bit of money.
+
+LIAM: You should sell these. These are not little
+and adorable like buttons.
+
+SAM: No, but they’re shiny and nice.
+
+LIAM: Do you want to wear them?
+
+SAM: Ooh. Maybe I could.
+
+LIAM: Well, you could. What–
+
+SAM: Are they big?
+
+LIAM: Are they huge for a goblin’s little wrists?
+
+MATT: For a goblin’s wrists, they’re pretty big.
+Looks like they’re more– they may have been made
+
+for a more masculine figure’s wrists probably, or
+a thick-armed lass.
+
+LIAM: Maybe your ankle or calf, you could put them
+on. Or sell them and then you could put them to use.
+
+SAM: All right. Okay.
+
+LIAM: I’m still a little disturbed that there’s a
+dead person under this inn that we’re in right
+
+now.
+
+SAM: I understand. Well, we can go back and I can
+show you, if you’d like, but it didn’t seem like–
+
+LIAM: Well, I take your word for it, that it’s
+there. I don’t need to go poking about.
+
+SAM: How do you do that? Where you look at
+something and you just see what it is?
+
+LIAM: Well, it is a spell that I learned when I
+was–
+
+SAM: It’s so cool! It’s very impressive.
+
+LIAM: You could potentially learn this as well.
+
+SAM: Really?
+
+LIAM: Of course! If you apply yourself–
+
+SAM: I don’t know. You know so many spells and so
+many things. You’re very strong. I’m continually
+
+impressed by you, I must say. How strong would you
+say you are? On a scale of one to 20?
+
+LIAM: How do you mean– I’m not very strong, Nott.
+I do have things that I want to do with my life,
+
+and I mean to apply myself and study, and find
+knowledge.
+
+SAM: Is that the way you’ll get even stronger?
+Through study and books?
+
+LIAM: Ja. That is the best way to do that. For
+anyone.
+
+SAM: Would magical items help further your
+abilities or blessings?
+
+LIAM: That seems like an abstract question. There
+are certainly very useful things that can be found
+
+in this world. You never know.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: Are you okay?
+
+SAM: Oh, I’m fine, I’m just fascinated by all
+things wizard and I want you to succeed, that’s
+
+all. I have great faith in you, I know you’ll do
+great things, and I just want to help you get
+
+there.
+
+LIAM: Well, thank you, friend.
+
+SAM: Sure. Yes. Anything, anything to help the
+cause.
+
+LIAM: Well, maybe we go to bed and tomorrow we
+don’t tear the roof down off of every building we
+
+go into again, yeah?
+
+SAM: Okay. Sounds good.
+
+LIAM: So I take out my silver thread and I start
+casting the Alarm spell on our room before bed,
+
+and then I go to bed.
+
+MATT: All righty. Anybody else have anything to do
+before the evening’s rest, or are you happy to
+
+continue the next day?
+
+TRAVIS: Next day for me.
+
+LAURA: (shouting) Pillow fight!
+
+MARISHA: Beau gets a little too aggressive with
+the pillow fight.
+
+LAURA: Ow, okay. We’re done.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, sorry.
+
+LIAM: Mess with the bull, get the horns.
+
+MATT: All right, so, as the evening comes to a
+close, the next morning greets you on a somewhat
+
+chilled, misty morning, the sky gray, but the
+light is out. You can see a faint mist is burning
+
+off of the streets in the early morning, like six
+or seven-ish. You all gather yourselves. Is there
+
+anything you wish to accomplish during the day, or
+do you wish to jump ahead to the meeting of the
+
+afternoon, the evening?
+
+MARISHA: Should we get some awesome all-black
+clothes?
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should so that we stealth better.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, something a little bit more
+stealthy.
+
+LAURA: We can put it in the pink bag.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I like that.
+
+TALIESIN: I was thinking some carnival masks, from
+the other direction.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, all black looks like you’re up to no
+good.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and if you are actually in the dark,
+you can’t tell the difference, and if you’re in
+
+the light you look like a ninja, so I think we’re
+good, maybe.
+
+MARISHA: I see what you’re saying. Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Everyone’s going to be pretty
+fancy-dressed.
+
+LAURA: The carnival is going on today?
+
+MATT: Yeah, the festival is happening this
+evening.
+
+MARISHA: Do we know anything about this festival,
+like, culturally? Do they wear masks?
+
+MATT: I mean, the harvest is celebrated at
+different points, and in a few weeks is the
+
+official Harvest End festival. This is done in
+advance, it’s more of a private event that is for
+
+the more elite. Some folks come in from out of
+town, from local smaller townships that are pretty
+
+well off and trying to rub elbows with the local
+elite. It’s a festival that contains food, music,
+
+drink. You’ve never been to one, of course, and
+you’ve heard of it from the time you spent in
+
+Zadash. You’ve never seen it, but you’ve seen
+folks take care through the street towards the
+
+event, and it seems to be fairly like a more
+subdued Mardi Gras colors, but the colors are more
+
+reds and browns and golds. They have masks they’ll
+wear for it, but they aren’t full face, just
+
+habitual eye masks. Only some will, some folks
+don’t get fully into the spirit.
+
+MARISHA: I think we should go shopping.
+
+TALIESIN: Masks on sticks.
+
+MARISHA: Masks on sticks.
+
+LAURA: Well, we’re not actually going to the fancy
+gala, so we probably don’t need the fancy stuff,
+
+because it’s just for the rich people.
+
+MARISHA: But will it get us through the gate?
+
+LAURA: Well, I figure for all of us to get in, we
+should go through the sewers, probably.
+
+TALIESIN: If someone stops you, if you have a
+mask, they know why you’re there.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, in a pinch.
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+LIAM: A lot is riding on Sutan and the
+High-Richter going to this festival.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: That’s it, that’s all.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I was really expecting more there.
+
+LIAM: No, it’s just pessimism.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go buy some masks, then.
+
+MARISHA: Are you afraid they’re not party people?
+
+LIAM: Well, I worry that if we break into Sutan’s
+house and stuff a bunch of letters there, but the
+
+High-Richter stays in with a tummy ache, then it
+all falls apart.
+
+MARISHA: Well, then we go from there.
+
+LAURA: There’s no point in worrying about things
+you can’t change yet, Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: She’s got a point.
+
+TALIESIN: Be the chaos you want to see in the
+world.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, no point in worrying, it only makes
+it hurt twice.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, lead the way, I’ll be the caboose.
+
+MATT: All right. Who’s helming the expedition to
+acquire costume pieces?
+
+TRAVIS: Molly.
+
+MATT: Molly, go ahead and make an investigation
+check.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I’ll say, because of your dress, I’ll give
+you advantage on this.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Show us where Melrose is.
+
+TALIESIN: Looking for Melrose. 11.
+
+MATT: 11. It takes you the better part of the
+morning. About noon, you manage to find a place
+
+that will sell similar outfits. Since a lot of
+them are either custom-made for the individuals
+
+that are going, it’s hard to find a place. There
+is no shop that sells fancy clothes to the random
+
+folks who aren’t going to the event, but you
+manage to find a few individuals that can cobble
+
+together a few masks and basic attire. Because
+it’s a quick build, it’s going to be a little
+
+pricier than normal cost, so the commission will
+take the better part of the afternoon, and will be
+
+ready by sundown for enough outfits for six of
+you. Or accoutrements.
+
+TALIESIN: I was about to say, I don’t need much.
+
+MATT: You’ll be fine, it’s just a mask. I’d say
+between all of you, for the time, the materials,
+
+and the construction of it, it’ll run you about
+three gold pieces.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll pay that.
+
+TRAVIS: You’ll pay for all of it?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I will get reimbursed at the end.
+
+LIAM: I’ll pick up some sausages.
+
+MATT: Okay. How many sausages do you want?
+
+LIAM: Oh, just the one string of them. Four or
+five.
+
+SAM: Maybe two strings.
+
+LIAM: Two strings in case.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: In case you get hungry? Fair enough. Okay.
+That’s going to put you back a silver.
+
+LAURA: Oh, and I’m going to write another letter
+that says something about the Knights of Requital.
+
+That says, like– what should it be? "I’m glad to
+be working with you! You sure are nice!”
+
+TRAVIS: What about a sign-off, like, “The Knights
+of Requital are rising.”
+
+SAM: What if you take a letter and just sign it
+“Knights of Requital” and rip off the rest, so who
+
+knows what it was, it’s just from them.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I’ll end it with, “the big red door.
+The Knights of Requital.” Then rip it, and then it
+
+is just the bottom part and leave it in the
+High-Richter’s house.
+
+MARISHA: Leave it in the trash. That’s not bad,
+that’s not bad.
+
+LAURA: Oh, can somebody burn the edge like the
+rest was in the fire or something? Oh, and then we
+
+can put it in the fireplace like the rest of the
+letter was burned!
+
+MARISHA: Man, that is the oldest trick in the
+book. Sure.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, burn just these edges here.
+
+LIAM: Okay, put it down on the ground.
+
+LAURA: But just the edges, don’t set the whole
+thing on fire, because I spent a really long time
+
+writing that little bit.
+
+LIAM: Ah, well, then use a hearth fire or
+something, because I will probably put that into
+
+flames. Also, alternatively, would we want maybe
+something instead that said that “the Knights are
+
+ready for this evening’s pursuits, and they’re to
+support any endeavors as needed, great
+
+High-Richter. It is time for change.”
+
+LAURA: I write all of that, okay, fine.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t write “the Knights”, though, just
+write the little symbol.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Then I’ll put the symbol. But I’m
+also going to keep this one to put in the
+
+fireplace, because I think it will be really cool.
+
+LIAM: Yes, the two together, but I worry that just
+the one piece, she could have written it down on a
+
+list of things she does not like, it’s not very
+conclusive. But the two together.
+
+SAM: She doesn’t like red doors, she doesn’t like
+the Knights of Requital.
+
+LAURA: Now we have those letters. I’m going to
+keep track, I’m putting them in the side pouch,
+
+those are the side pouch ones.
+
+LIAM: Have you written your letter in your
+thieves’ thingy that you do?
+
+SAM: Yes. I did. My handwriting is not as good.
+
+LAURA: Is that going in Lord Sutan’s place or the
+High-Richter’s place?
+
+LIAM: That’s in Sutan’s place.
+
+LAURA: So I’m putting that in the other pouch.
+
+LIAM: Good, we want to tie Sutan to the Myriad,
+and High-Richter to the Knights, and High-Richter
+
+and Sutan together. That’s the plan.
+
+MARISHA: To fight Orentha, to kill her.
+
+LIAM: Yes, to take that seat. To enact the change
+that the people need.
+
+LAURA: We are definitely– this is going to be
+real good.
+
+MARISHA: I feel so political, you guys. I feel
+like I’m participating in our politics, in a way.
+
+SAM: It feels nice to participate in a democracy
+like this.
+
+MARISHA: It does, it feels like I’m making a
+difference.
+
+SAM: One monk, one vote.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Feels like it matters.
+
+LIAM: Did we get paid in advance, by the way?
+
+LAURA: What are we being paid for this?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we didn’t get paid in advance. I
+hope that doesn’t come back to bite us.
+
+LIAM: Did we get half of it, even?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s for the best, because now there’s
+no paper trail, just in case they are trying to–
+
+LAURA: Is Ulog around? I’m going to look for Ulog.
+
+MATT: Ulog is meeting you guys, you want to try
+and search for him?
+
+LAURA: I want to look and see if he’s around us,
+though.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: I can’t see shit.
+
+MATT: You have no idea where Ulog is, or if he’s
+in the vicinity, unfortunately. All right, so.
+
+LIAM: We should also– you’re invisible. We should
+also discuss who’s going in, who’s outside, how we
+
+are tackling each house.
+
+LAURA: I should definitely go into Lord Sutan’s
+place, because I have this really fun spell that
+
+lets me find things. So I could find the seal.
+
+LIAM: How does it work?
+
+LAURA: I go, “I want to find this wax seal,” and
+it will help me find the one that’s closest.
+
+LIAM: Then you’re right, you should go in. Nott,
+you should go in, because you’re going to pick
+
+locks, ja?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LIAM: If anything is locked. I strongly believe
+that I should go in as well, because these are two
+
+very wealthy, powerful people, and there could be
+magical–
+
+LAURA: You’re going to steal some stuff?
+
+LIAM: Only if that is, you know, easy to do.
+
+MARISHA: Once again, we should leave no trace that
+we were there.
+
+SAM: Don’t worry about that. I’ll eat everything
+we leave behind.
+
+TALIESIN: Now I’m really worried about it,
+actually.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll be out front, I can be a crownsguard
+if I need to.
+
+TALIESIN: And I can be in the back and be drunk
+and lookout.
+
+SAM: Which is our first house that we’re
+attacking?
+
+TRAVIS: Lord Sutan.
+
+SAM: And we know that there’s a guard and a dog
+out there.
+
+MARISHA: Correct, so first–
+
+SAM: So you guys need to distract the guard.
+
+MARISHA: With the cat. We’ve got the cat plan.
+
+SAM: And the sausage.
+
+LIAM: And the sausage, just in case.
+
+LAURA: Sausage for the guard, cat for the dog.
+
+LIAM: Regardless, even if this goes belly-up, we
+just disappear. You know, we have no ties to this,
+
+we walk away, yeah? We just get out with our
+skins, even if things go as badly as they did at
+
+the hospital, and then we go, we just walk away.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the last thing we want is for the
+crownsguard to think that this was all us.
+
+LAURA: Where are we meeting Ulog?
+
+MARISHA: In front of the–
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Song and Supper Inn.
+
+LIAM: Oh also, Frumpkin is up here in my sort of
+scarf position, and I bring him down in my lap,
+
+and I take the sausages out, and I sort of like
+knead one of the sausages in my hand a bit, and I
+
+say, you know, I’m sorry, but the next time that
+you go off to your pocket place and come back,
+
+this will be gone. And I start squishing sausage
+grease into his hair, and rubbing it down his back
+
+so that he smells like sausage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a very good plan.
+
+LIAM: I love you very much, so thank you for this,
+okay?
+
+ALL: (angry cat noises)
+
+LAURA: Do you want to eat him even more now?
+
+LIAM: Some other time, perhaps.
+
+SAM: I’ll drink instead.
+
+MATT: You gather the outfits that were
+commissioned for you. You have your materials. As
+
+the day grows later, eventually the sun begins to
+crest over the western mountain range. The sky,
+
+though cloudy still, the colors begin to shift to
+the oranges and purples of dusk. You begin to see
+
+carriages come through the streets and make their
+way towards the Tri-Spire district.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I wonder if we can hide under the
+carriages and just ride in.
+
+MARISHA: I was going to say, can we hop a ride?
+
+MATT: One of the carriages just passed you, and
+it’s about a block up the way if you want to try
+
+and catch up.
+
+MARISHA: No, that brings a lot of attention,
+chasing after a carriage.
+
+LAURA: It’s all about trying to get into the sewer
+system.
+
+SAM: Can’t we just go to the sewers?
+
+LAURA: Let’s just go to the sewers.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys head back towards the
+entryway to the sewers, where you had previously
+
+been, with your various outfits and attire, you
+can see now, there’s not two crownsguards, there’s
+
+a single crownsguard at the moment. You approach
+and you see they’re not directly against the
+
+grate, they’re across the street. It doesn’t
+appear to be watched at the moment.
+
+SAM: The gate?
+
+MATT: The entranceway into the sewers.
+
+LAURA: Maybe I can go talk to the guard. Distract
+him?
+
+SAM: It seems like they’re not looking right now.
+
+LAURA: Oh, he’s not even looking at the gate?
+
+SAM: No, they’re not looking, we can just go.
+
+MATT: Well, he’s not looking at the entranceway to
+the sewer.
+
+MARISHA: That doesn’t mean that won’t change in 30
+seconds.
+
+LAURA: It’s dark outside, too?
+
+MATT: Yes, but there are lanterns and stuff up on
+the side of the street.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want to distract him and we’ll
+meet you on the other side?
+
+LAURA: Oh, sure! I’ll go meet you at the sewer
+entrance on the other side.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Nott or Caleb can send you a
+message.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I walk up to the guard.
+
+MATT: Okay. “Evening.”
+
+LAURA: Evening, how are you doing today?
+
+MATT: “I am well, how are you?”
+
+LAURA: Pretty good. I was wondering if you could
+answer a question for me.
+
+MATT: Everybody else, roll a stealth check,
+please.
+
+LAURA: I was looking around this area earlier for
+a candy shop and I couldn’t find anything that
+
+seemed good. I was wondering if you could point me
+in the best direction.
+
+MATT: “Try the Pentamarket, probably.”
+
+LAURA: The Pentamarket, um, okay. Can you tell me
+exactly where that is? Because I’m not familiar
+
+with the area.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Oh, that’s okay.
+
+19!
+
+MATT: “All right, so down this way–” and he
+starts giving you the full play-by-play of the
+
+street corners to the Pentamarket where a candy
+shop is that you had missed earlier. So now you
+
+know there’s a candy shop in Zadash.
+
+LAURA: Yay!
+
+MATT: As it’s happening. What did you roll?
+
+TRAVIS: 12.
+
+MARISHA: 15.
+
+LIAM: Eight.
+
+SAM: Natural one.
+
+LAURA: Oh, come on.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: Hold on, so a natural one, eight, 19, 15.
+Okay, natural one’s tricky.
+
+SAM: Plus eight.
+
+MATT: Still a natural one. But, yeah, that brings
+it to nine. As you guys begin to quickly slide in,
+
+one after the other, Nott, as you’re rushing down,
+you’re glancing off, because you hear them talk
+
+about candy for a second over the side.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+MATT: As you rush down the side, whack! You hit
+your head and give out a natural instinct, a
+
+pained squeak. As you do, the guard who’s talking
+to Jester goes, “Wha–”
+
+LAURA: (fake coughs loudly) Can you help me? I
+think I’m choking.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven.
+
+LAURA: (fake coughs loudly)
+
+MATT: “Hold. Just a second.”
+
+LAURA: Oh no, I can’t breathe at all, though.
+
+MATT: He begins walking over to the sewer edge. He
+steps over and begins to glance down–
+
+LAURA: I fall over on the ground and really like
+(choking sounds).
+
+MATT: He’s looking back at you like–
+
+LAURA: (choking sounds)
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin screeching away from us, up
+the street, clattering into anything.
+
+MATT: From where? Out of the sewer, you mean?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, out of the sewer, yeah. I pop him back
+up.
+
+MATT: As soon as Frumpkin– He kicks and–
+
+(gasps)
+
+MATT: Misses.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It’s the same guy, it’s the same guy!
+
+LIAM: Caleb appears at the sewer like Pennywise
+the Clown.
+
+MARISHA: Why is that their natural response in
+this town?
+
+MATT: Well, he got scared by the cat! The first
+guy was a dick, this guy was (yells), like kicking
+
+wildly. Anyway. He falls back and Frumpkin runs
+off. He’s like (grunts). It seems to be enough to
+
+take him off the scent of Nott, and he turns
+around. “Miss?” He walks up and helps you up.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it was my spit. I was choking on my own
+spit.
+
+MATT: Right, all right. Well, go get your candy.
+Have a good night.
+
+LAURA: Thank you very much for all of your help.
+
+MATT: (sighs) He goes back to his post. You guys
+make your way through the sewer, back up through
+
+the T-intersection–
+
+TRAVIS: Mindful of the damn rats.
+
+MARISHA: Rat-balloons.
+
+LIAM: I held back two minutes to let Frumpkin
+quietly come back.
+
+MATT: All right. Fair enough. Frumpkin does slowly
+make his way back to join you. You make your way
+
+towards the gate and, without issue, are entered
+into the Tri-Spire. You make your way towards the
+
+side of the alleyway where the–
+
+LAURA: Oh, we didn’t meet the guy at the Song and
+Supper.
+
+MATT: You did not.
+
+MARISHA: Oh fuck!
+
+SAM: What guy?
+
+MARISHA: Shit! We were supposed to go fucking meet
+Ulog! Damn it!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re so good at this.
+
+MATT: Jester, do you want to go do that?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I just remembered it. I’m going to
+the Song and Supper Inn.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to sit in the sewer like so
+much clown.
+
+MARISHA: We recapped this at the break, too! Damn
+it!
+
+MATT: You guys are sitting there, waiting for
+Jester to show up and meet you to let you out.
+
+SAM: I cast Message a few times. We’re here. Where
+are you?
+
+TRAVIS: Where letter-R letter-U?
+
+MATT: You, however, you make your way to the Song
+and Supper, and on the inside, you can see,
+
+nervously at a table, in a dark cloak, Ulog. “What
+the–?” Gets up and meets you outside, shoves you
+
+back out there and you both begin to walk
+side-by-side. “I was waiting here long enough!”
+
+LAURA: We were waiting for you! It’s so weird that
+we totally missed you, though.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: Well, well, well, 11.
+
+MATT: He goes, “Right. Well, where’s the rest of
+your team?”
+
+LAURA: They are– Here’s the thing. How rich do
+you look? How rich does he look?
+
+MATT: He looks down and he has fairly plain dark
+clothing for night-stealthing. He has like a
+
+single– looks like a gold chain of some kind with
+a single yellowish amber-orange bead on it that
+
+looks like it’s worth a gold or two. Dark
+green-brown cloak. It’s hard to see the color,
+
+this late at night. He doesn’t look super rich.
+
+LAURA: Can I put some of my costume on him?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’ll put some of my festive wear on him.
+
+MATT: You put some of the festive wear on him.
+It’s all not at all fitted for him and it looks
+
+like a kid who has outgrown his snow-outfit and
+he’s like– “This is humiliating.”
+
+LAURA: It’ll get you in the door, don’t worry.
+Here, put this mask on.
+
+MATT: He’s seething beneath it. You can see him
+grinding his teeth, but he follows you
+
+nevertheless.
+
+TALIESIN: Candy-themed, too.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s great!
+
+MATT: You make your way to the gate once more. The
+guards there– One of them walks up and, the same
+
+one from earlier, gives you a nod. “Hold.”
+
+LAURA: Guest of honor for the night. He’s a
+comedian.
+
+MATT: Make another deception check.
+
+LAURA: Come on! It is being so mean! Seven. God
+damn it.
+
+MATT: He goes, “A comedian. Tell me a joke.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, come on, Ulog!
+
+MATT: Ulog looks at you with the mask, back at the
+guard. “Um–”
+
+MARISHA: It’s open mic night! You got this!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: He goes, “What do you call the king on his
+birthday?” The crownsguard goes, “I don’t know.
+
+What do you call a king on his birthday?” “An
+arsehole.” The guard goes–
+
+LAURA: Here’s the thing. He’s not a joke-telling
+kind of comedian. He’s more of a farce kind of
+
+comedian. Physical comedy. It’s more like a
+jester, if you will. And I push him and– so he
+
+falls down. See?
+
+MATT: (impact noise) At which point the two guards
+go:
+
+(laugh)
+
+LAURA: He’s so good. He really sells it.
+
+MATT: Ulog like gets off the ground and glares at
+you this very furious fiery stare and then gets up
+
+and then stumbles again and falls on the ground,
+flat again. The guard goes,
+
+“(laughs) All right, get in.”
+
+Ulog now has like a bloody nose and as you
+ushers him in, he looks back. “Oh, we’re going to
+
+talk later.”
+
+LAURA: But I got you in the door, right?
+
+MATT: You eventually make your way over to the
+edge of the alley, coming up to the hatch that
+
+leads you out of the sewer. There you guys see the
+two approaching shapes of Jester and Ulog. Ulog
+
+looking festive, if the wear is a bit tiny, making
+his hair and beard poof out of the sides of
+
+the mask.
+
+MARISHA: (pigeon coos)
+
+SAM: Where have you been?
+
+LAURA: I got Ulog.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit! We almost forgot about Ulog!
+
+LAURA: I know!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: What’s Ulog’s job in this?
+
+LAURA: I have no freaking clue! Hey Ulog, what do
+you want to do?
+
+MATT: “Well, first off, I’m pretty keen at
+infiltration. I have a long past of doing sort of
+
+the breaking and entering thing. Plus, I want to
+be there when this happens. Have a personal stake.“
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, he should be a part of the team that
+goes in.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: How well do you know Lord Sutan’s place
+and the area?
+
+MATT: “I know the area alright.”
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LAURA: We cased it earlier.
+
+MATT: “Do you think you know where he lives?”
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: “All right. That’s all we need. The rest we
+can all do. Lead on.”
+
+LIAM: Can I insight check him? Just get a feel for
+that.
+
+MATT: Yeah, go for it.
+
+LIAM: That is 17.
+
+MATT: 17.
+
+SAM: Whispers! Whispers!
+
+TALIESIN: Mysterious whispers!
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond!
+
+TRAVIS: And Far Cry 5!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: Far Cry 5! It’s five better than Far Cry 0.
+
+TRAVIS: Or four better than the original.
+
+MARISHA: The fiviest.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Takes place in America.
+
+SAM: Montana.
+
+LIAM: Guys, it’s Larkin.
+
+MATT: Well there goes the campaign. As you guys
+make your way through the city streets, you can
+
+see the closer you get to the Silken Terrace, for
+one, the usual silk banners that adorn the various
+
+edges of the streets have been changed from the
+usual white silk banners to bright yellows, bright
+
+browns, bright reds. The colors of autumn are now
+starting to show and appear throughout the vicinity.
+
+MARISHA: I hate the color yellow.
+
+TRAVIS: Really? Why?
+
+MARISHA: I just hate it.
+
+LAURA: It would look really pretty on you.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think that’s true.
+
+SAM: No, I don’t think so.
+
+LAURA: I think yellow would look good on you.
+
+TALIESIN: The blue works. Stick with it, you
+know.
+
+SAM: More of a spring…
+
+MATT: You also hear the music begin to swell at
+the various performing bands towards the center
+
+where this gala is. You can see all the banners
+leaning in the center space. The sunset colors
+
+have vanished and now the night sky holds above.
+The Crownsguard are clustered in greater numbers
+
+in the Tri-Spire, specifically to keep a perimeter
+around the event. As you glance off to the
+
+entrance gate where you were, you can see there’s
+now stationed more towards that space, since you
+
+originally passed through. More musicians are
+arriving, some locally, some appear to be from
+
+other areas within the actual Empire. The social
+elite are gathering in the center of the Silken
+
+Terrace and you can now see the small carriages
+are stopping and letting other individuals out to
+
+join the crowds, the mingling beginning. You can
+already see about 60 or 70 people, with more still
+
+arriving. They all have their various colors and
+masks on. They’re all grabbing drinks and laughing
+
+and seeing old friends and introducing themselves
+to new people they haven’t met before. Some of
+
+them live in the Tri-Spire, some that live
+throughout and beyond.
+
+MARISHA: Any of them look familiar?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil! Meh, you kind of
+fucked me there.
+
+LIAM: May I also do the same thing?
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: No, no good. Eight.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you’re too far away and the
+masks obscure any of sort of details. You’re
+
+unable to see anyone you recognize, per se. But
+you do see that there are long tables that mark
+
+the perimeter that are already holding already
+preset glasses of wine and ciders. You can see the
+
+central tower of the Triumph Chime sits glowing
+right at the front and center of this gala. It’s
+
+all surrounding the base of it. And up in a spiral
+you can see lanterns and similar colors of
+
+autumn that spiral up the front of it. You guys
+begin to, carefully, and out of sight, make your
+
+way towards the estate of Lord Sutan. Please make
+stealth checks, everybody.
+
+LIAM: This is a lot of people.
+
+LAURA: Oh wait. Who sucks?
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+LIAM: I rolled well.
+
+LAURA: Who hasn’t rolled yet? Taliesin I give you
+a blessing.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Advantage. That’s awesome.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MARISHA: Why does it feel like you roll crappier
+when you’re lower level? 13.
+
+LIAM: 17.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+TRAVIS: Uh!
+
+MATT: Pretty good spread. You guys duck in
+between, avoiding being seen and blend in with the
+
+crowd as you pass other individuals that are
+making their way to the actual Gala event. There
+
+are nods and smiles, occasional laugh, as folks
+are conversing and chatting as they pass. You make
+
+your way over to the outskirts of the Gilded
+Willows, beyond the Skyscape Park and where the
+
+Constellation Bridge tower stands, to see, for
+many of you the first time, the three-story dark
+
+wood home of Lord Sutan. The marble pillars mark
+the cornerstones of where the metallic iron fence
+
+gate matches the perimeter. There’s a singular
+tree and still there are two guards posted at one
+
+and the same guard with the dog at the other.
+
+MARISHA: Same guard.
+
+SAM: Must be getting tired.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry. Can you set the scene? Two guards
+at one end and one at the other?
+
+MATT: Well it’s been a day later.
+
+MARISHA: Are we catching them around the same
+time? This is his shift. Same watch.
+
+MATT: Seems to be.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: And it’s like corner-corner or front and
+back or…?
+
+MATT: If look at the– if the building’s a square.
+The house is mainly built as a rectangle, there’s
+
+the front door and the back where the
+cellar door is and there’s the perimeter fence.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: In the front, there are two guards. In the
+back, where the gate and the cellar door is,
+
+there’s a singular guard and his dog. The tree is
+up on this side.
+
+LAURA: But there’s still a gate–
+
+MARISHA: All the way around. With the spikes.
+
+LIAM: The guard with the dog is within this
+perimeter of fence?
+
+MATT: It’s just on the interior of it. Just within the
+gate.
+
+MARISHA: And the gate is closed.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LAURA: How wide are the openings in the gate? Does
+it look like the mastiff could get through the
+
+openings in the wrought-iron fence?
+
+MATT: Probably not, no.
+
+MARISHA: But he can still be enough of a
+distraction to get the guard to chase the dog
+
+while we get in if we can get the dog–
+
+LIAM: To the front side of the home.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe to the front side.
+
+LIAM: Maybe temporary though.
+
+SAM: We can get in through the gate and then we
+get to the tree or we’re going to go straight into
+
+the cellar?
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I was thinking. Go into the
+cellar.
+
+LAURA: We could use the tree to get over the fence
+and then run to the cellar.
+
+MARISHA: As soon as the dog chases away the cat.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but what about our exit? Because we
+have to come back out.
+
+MARISHA: Well–
+
+SAM: We worry about that later?
+
+LIAM: No, no, we worry about that now.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe that’s when Fjord can come and
+relieve the guards?
+
+TRAVIS: I can do that now.
+
+MARISHA: Or he can do that now. But how do we get
+Fjord on the other side of the gate?
+
+LAURA: He walks up to him and say–
+
+SAM: That’s very risky now because what if the
+guards says “I don’t know you,” you know? Then the
+
+plan never starts. If we do that at the end, at
+least we have a fighting chance.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s true. I could wait.
+
+LIAM: I don’t like being stuck in there though.
+
+LAURA: Ulog? What do you think? You’re really good
+at this.
+
+MATT: “Who’s staying outside?”
+
+TRAVIS: I am.
+
+TALIESIN: I am.
+
+MATT: The two of you. All right.
+
+MARISHA: What were those guards’ names? There were
+so many guards.
+
+TALIESIN: What were those guards’ names?
+
+LAURA: That was at the High-Richter’s house. That
+wasn’t here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah that was at the High-Richter’s.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but as long as you do a guard
+that’s semi-recognizable.
+
+MATT: “If we can manage, if what you’re saying
+about this tree, we can possibly scoot past their
+
+visual range and not have to worry about it. And
+just use that as a backup.”
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MATT: “But we got to climb the tree.”
+
+LAURA: We can climb a tree. We’re good at that.
+
+TRAVIS: The tree means worst case scenario.
+
+LAURA: And I got this grapple, so we can swing
+across to the roof on the other side.
+
+MATT: “All right. Those that are staying at the
+base. The rest of us, let’s get to climbing.”
+
+TALIESIN: If we hear the dog bark, we can walk
+by.
+
+LIAM: Also, I have another question. How far from
+the fence to the home?
+
+MATT: It’s about five feet.
+
+LIAM: Five feet only.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, but spikes.
+
+LIAM: I’m rethinking. If Frumpkin gets away from
+this dog in the beginning, he can run outside the
+
+fence and he will not be far from me. I can stay
+in touch with him, so when it’s time to leave I
+
+can have Frumpkin reenter the yard and create
+mayhem a second time.
+
+LAURA: Or let him create it the first time,
+because we might not need it.
+
+LIAM: We might not, but if we have no other option
+and we’re trying to get out and there’s guards in
+
+both places, Frumpkin can come in and create
+mayhem again. Anyway, just an option.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: "We get to the top, you use your little cat
+thing to distract it. Preferably the other side of
+
+the fence.”
+
+LIAM: He’s just a cat.
+
+MATT: “Right. Your cat. On the other side of the
+fence. While they’re faced and focused in that
+
+direction, we make our ascent.”
+
+LAURA: We swing it over. Somebody needs to make a
+loud noise when we throw the grapple over.
+
+SAM: You can cough or something.
+
+LAURA: So that it doesn’t make a clang sound that
+they hear.
+
+MATT: “That might be on one of you.”
+
+LIAM: A natural sound.
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+SAM: I will signal you when we are grapple
+throwing.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: If you also hear me make the same sound
+again, that means trouble.
+
+LAURA: I could maybe use, like, Thaumaturgy to
+create a thunder sound.
+
+SAM: Ooh, that’s good.
+
+LAURA: If it happens at the same time.
+
+MATT: “Actually not a bad idea.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll do that.
+
+LIAM: How’s the weather; is it clear or grey?
+
+LAURA: Sometimes thunder happens out of nowhere.
+
+MATT: It’s cloudy.The sky itself is cloudy, and
+has been. Even though the storm blew by, it’s
+
+still pretty heavy cloud cover.
+
+LAURA: Oh, good.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Up the tree!
+
+TALIESIN: If you hear me make noise–
+
+MATT: Those who are climbing the tree, athletics
+checks please.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll go first, so I can try and help
+anyone else as I go up. Can I do that?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can do that. So Beau goes first.
+
+MARISHA: Athletics or acrobatics?
+
+MATT: For climbing, we’ll say athletics.
+
+MARISHA: (whimpers)
+
+MATT: It doesn’t have a lot of branches.
+
+MARISHA: But parkour.
+
+LAURA: Do we get advantage because Beau’s helping
+us?
+
+MARISHA: That’s not great–
+
+LIAM: Well, she’s got to get up there first.
+
+MARISHA: I got to get up there.
+
+LIAM: She didn’t roll that good.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight? Well, you’re not helping anybody.
+(chuckles) You get partway up, and Ulog is
+
+actually, like (grunting). He’s doing fine. So he
+pushes you up the rest of the way.
+
+MARISHA: Give me a boost!
+
+LAURA: Shh!
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Sorry!
+
+SAM: I rolled an 18.
+
+MATT: You climb up fine, skittering up past them.
+You actually climb over Beau and Ulog to get to
+
+the top first.
+
+SAM: Watch my nails.
+
+LAURA: I rolled 11.
+
+MATT: 11? That’s fine. You manage to get up there.
+And Caleb?
+
+LIAM: 17.
+
+SAM: Ooh.
+
+MATT: You guys all get up there. Beau is the last
+to arrive.
+
+MARISHA: (pants)
+
+SAM: I thought you were a monk of some sort.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sprinter. I’m not an endurance
+person. Okay?
+
+MATT: It’s one if those things, too, where she
+starts first, but each person keeps putting their
+
+feet in her face on the way up.
+
+SAM: You’re all legs and no arms.
+
+MATT: Okay, you guys get up to the top of the
+tree.
+
+You’re up in the branches, in the bow, at
+the top. You can see now, it’s a beautiful view of
+
+the gala in the distance. You can see the three
+towers, all arcing up, all lit from underneath
+
+from the lanterns and the light that have been
+significantly brightened for the events of the
+
+evening. You have a clear shot of the rooftop,
+which is at a slight decline from this current
+
+position. It’s about ten feet from you, and about
+three feet down below. You can see there are two
+
+smokestacks that look like they’re attached to
+fire places that might be good indicators of
+
+places to connect the rope. Who’s throwing the
+rope?
+
+LAURA: Should I try it?
+
+MARISHA: You’re strongest.
+
+SAM: What is this? Why do–?
+
+LAURA: It’s a grapple. Connected to a rope.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LAURA: So I hand the other side of the rope to
+Ulog so it doesn’t fall.
+
+MATT: He takes it. He’s like, “All right. You got
+to be pretty good at aiming this.”
+
+SAM: Yeah, are you?
+
+MATT: “It’s about 15, 20 feet from here.”
+
+LAURA: Well, I’m strong.
+
+MATT: “But can you aim it?”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but you’re weak, aren’t you?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I feel like I’m more precise
+than you. But, no, you’re strong. You go for it.
+
+LAURA: No, but you’re precise.
+
+SAM: I don’t–
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin is pacing back and forth just
+outside the fence.
+
+SAM: Parchment, boulder, shears?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. On three?
+
+SAM: Yes, on three. One. Two. Three! Okay, you’re
+throwing it.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll throw it.
+
+MATT: So go ahead and roll a d20 and add your
+strength modifier.
+
+SAM: Ooh, strength.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that was good, okay.
+
+11. No! 12.
+
+MATT: You throw it. Tink, tink.
+
+LAURA: Thunder, thunder! When I did it.
+
+MATT: Okay. There’s this roll of thunder off in
+the distance. It didn’t catch anything, though,
+
+and it’s scraping. Pulling back a little bit–
+
+LAURA: More thunder. Another thunder.
+
+SAM: It’s not staying on?
+
+MATT: It didn’t manage to. It got over to the
+roof, but it didn’t catch anything.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, god.
+
+SAM: Reel it back in. Reel it back in!
+
+MARISHA: Don’t let it get caught.
+
+LAURA: I do another thunder sound right when I
+pull it, so it doesn’t make noise.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you pull it and it scrapes, falls,
+and then dangles down. You manage to pull it up a
+
+little bit, dangle it up, yeah.
+
+SAM: Give me that. Give me that!
+
+LAURA: Here! It is a strength thing, though.
+
+SAM: (squeaks)
+
+MATT: Are you just throwing it?
+
+SAM: Yes. Natural one.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. So.
+
+SAM: We’ve lost our grapple.
+
+LAURA: No. No, Ulog was holding
+onto the end of it.
+
+MATT: He was holding the other side of it. The
+grapple arcs up really high, and arcs past.
+
+There’s a brief moment where you see it go up, and
+then pass by you, heading down towards the wall.
+
+Is anyone going to do anything?
+
+LAURA: I catch– I try to catch the rope to try to
+keep it from hitting the ground.
+
+MATT: You could try.
+
+SAM: Oh boy. Try!
+
+LAURA: I’ll try.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know what to do!
+
+LAURA: I did; I tried!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll.
+
+MARISHA: Is it flying out of our grasp;
+is that what’s happening?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s just out of the grasp.
+She’s going to try, so go ahead and roll a d20.
+
+MARISHA: She’s going to try and catch it.
+
+LAURA: I rolled a 19. I don’t know what I’m
+adding.
+
+MATT: Yeah. That’s fine. So you manage to just
+catch it, holding onto the edge of the rope,
+
+before it clanks onto the ground. It’s just
+dangling now.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: You pull it slowly back up.
+
+MARISHA: Wait.
+
+SAM: You said strength. I threw it as hard as I
+could throw it.
+
+MARISHA: Quiet, shut up!
+
+SAM: Thunder!
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Okay, maybe if I get over, I
+could hold the other end and help people.
+
+LAURA: You can jump ten feet?
+
+MARISHA: I think I can.
+
+LAURA: Oh, dear lord. What if you fall on the
+ground, Beau?
+
+TRAVIS: Let this happen. Let this happen.
+
+MARISHA: Look, we’re basically gods, okay?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I can make this jump.
+
+MATT: You going to try?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to cast step of the wind–
+Sorry, not cast it. I’m going to use a ki point.
+
+I’m going to take a breath, gather my
+chi. Along the edge of the branch anime run–
+
+MATT: Okay. And leap. Make an athletics check.
+I’ll give you advantage because of the step of the wind.
+
+MARISHA: Step of the wind gives me, like, double
+jump distance, or triple jump–dump jist–
+
+SAM: Triple dump!
+
+TRAVIS: Triple dungeness crabs.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, we had ring of truth cast. You can’t
+lie.
+
+SAM: Taliesin did a triple dump earlier.
+
+TALIESIN: I did. Solid.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on.
+
+MATT: Your jump distance is doubled! Yeah, you’re
+fine.
+
+MARISHA: (victorious laughter)
+
+MATT: You’re fine.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Just roll for the hell of it. I just want to
+see what happens.
+
+LAURA: Just so it’s not a one. No ones!
+
+SAM: It won’t be a one.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t trust Gil right now. I’m not
+going to trust Gil.
+
+I’m going to go with cobalt die.
+
+Natural 18.
+
+MATT: You, off the branch, leap. No sound.
+
+MARISHA: I go along the rope, and tighten the rope
+as I land.
+
+LAURA: The rope’s not– Oh, were you holding onto
+the grapple?
+
+TALIESIN: She’s got the other end.
+
+MARISHA: I was, like, tracing the rope.
+
+MATT: You grab it, affix it easily to one of the
+smokestacks you find up there.
+
+LIAM: She is really cool.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+SAM: She’s amazing.
+
+LAURA: Great. So we’ll tie off the other side–
+Yeah.
+
+MATT: Ulog takes it and ties the other side of the
+rope. You guys can all begin to shimmy across and
+
+make your way.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) We shimmy.
+
+MATT: So. The rope is set up. Are you guys just
+going to shimmy across?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: When do we do the cat?
+
+SAM: Oh wait, do we have to cast– Do we have to
+have a– Distraction!
+
+MARISHA: The cat.
+
+SAM: Oh, we’re going to shimmy across. Because
+what if the guard looks up and sees us?
+
+LIAM: Only, Frumpkin is down at the bottom of the
+tree. He runs around and–
+
+SAM: So we do that now!
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I think–
+
+LAURA: Well, we do that–
+
+SAM: Now!
+
+LAURA: When we lower into the cellar, right
+when–
+
+SAM: No, we’re going through the roof now, I
+thought. No?
+
+LAURA: Well how–?
+
+LIAM: Wait, hold on. Is there entry through the
+roof?
+
+MATT: You’re not there. You can’t see it from
+here.
+
+LIAM: We can’t see from here?
+
+MARISHA: There is a chimney stack, though, right?
+
+LIAM: A chimney stack?
+We’re not Santa Claus!
+
+TRAVIS: We are now.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Is there a door on the roof? How would
+there be a stupid door on the roof?
+
+SAM: There could be.
+
+TALIESIN: Sometimes there’s balconies.
+
+LAURA: There’s no balconies.
+
+MATT: There’s no balconies on this house.
+
+SAM: Look around for a door on the roof!
+
+MARISHA: What? Who would have a door on the roof?
+
+SAM: Rich people.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: I look around. Is there a door on the
+roof?
+
+LAURA: Maybe like an attic access or something?
+
+TALIESIN: French roof.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: 18? You don’t find an entry way per se. One
+of the chimneys is wide enough for someone to pass
+
+through. It looks like there is a part of the roof
+that, if you were to try and remove some of the
+
+shingles, there might be some sort of entrance
+below it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You’re on an angle there, on each side.
+
+MARISHA: It looks like they need to re-roof. Like
+they haven’t done it in about 15 years. Right?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: So maybe we could get in. Or, go through
+the cellar. Or, be like Santa Claus.
+
+LAURA: I think we should go in through the roof.
+
+SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s shimmy across. Make
+the distraction now.
+
+LAURA: We already shimmied.
+
+SAM: No we didn’t!
+
+MARISHA: It’s happening now. It’s real time. Real
+time! I think.
+
+LIAM: I’m sending Frumpkin now, okay?
+
+SAM: Go. Sausage cat!
+
+MATT: You watch as Frumpkin runs past (cat
+yowling) outside of the gate. Immediately (dog
+
+barking). He’s like, “No!” (guard stuttering) The
+dog drags him to the opposite side, like around
+
+the outside, into the fence and is now trying to
+bite. And Frumpkin’s on the other side of the
+
+fence, going (meows and hisses). (barking), right
+into the fence. The guy’s still holding back, like
+
+“Shit, no, stop! God, stop it!” Is pulling. You
+guys all make it across–no one seems to notice,
+
+none the wiser–onto the roof.
+
+LAURA: Hey, Nott. Send a message to Fjord and say,
+“Hey, did we look cool, just then?”
+
+SAM: Okay, I take out my little piece of wire and
+I whisper the incantation and do the motions.
+
+Hey, Fjord, Jester wants to know: Did we look
+cool? You can respond to this message.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Did they go already?
+
+SAM: He said, “Did they go already?”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I heard a dog barking. I feel that this
+plan was no better than ours.
+
+MATT: You guys are watching; you guys are on–?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re keeping an eye on the street.
+
+MATT: Perception check from both you guys.
+
+LIAM: Where are they in relation to us too, by the
+way?
+
+MATT: That’s up to them.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re on a corner, like far
+enough away from the house not to be a problem.
+
+LIAM: I want to know if you’re within view of the
+guard with the dog’s initial position.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+TALIESIN: 21.
+
+MATT: Okay. Keeping an eye out there, there isn’t
+any, at the moment, notable individuals wandering
+
+towards, or snooping around the house or your
+position. So you feel pretty safe.
+
+TALIESIN: You look like a guard.
+
+TRAVIS: Not yet. I should. Yeah, I’ll wander into
+an alley.
+
+MATT: And change into a crownsguard?
+Okay. Got it.
+
+TALIESIN: I got my cards out.
+
+MATT: You guys, you are on the roof.
+
+MARISHA: There was a guard named Cloen, who was
+the guard who saw the spider.
+
+MATT: There are two chimneys.
+
+MARISHA: Just throwing that out there.
+
+MATT: There is the slight roof thing that you
+saw.
+
+LIAM: So what I would do is also, once we’re in
+position on the roof, is I would tell Frumpkin to
+
+back off away from that dog, out of vision, and
+wait a few minutes, because he’s within a hundred
+
+feet of me. If so, we’re good. Tell him to find
+Molly, and sit with Molly. He’ll always listen to
+
+me, but I’m also sending him the command to listen
+to Molly, if need be.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do. All right. So.
+
+LIAM: You don’t know that. But, still.
+
+MATT: The barking slows. The dog is still barking
+in the direction of what was there, and seems to
+
+be still really entranced with the possibility of
+getting that fucking cat. Frumpkin does find his
+
+way to you, Molly. Guys on the roof, what are you
+doing?
+
+MARISHA: Got to get through this roof.
+
+LIAM: What were you saying? I did not hear you.
+
+LAURA: Pry at the shingles. Look at how deep these
+go.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go down the chimney.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, good, we covered– If we do the
+shingles, how do we cover them up when we leave?
+
+We’re trying to leave no trace.
+
+LAURA: Who gives a shit? Who’s going to be on the
+fucking roof?
+
+MARISHA: I step around. How do the shingles feel?
+
+MATT: Some of them loosen and slip a little bit,
+and you can see there’s a very, very faint groove
+
+on the wood beneath it. Like a gap.
+
+LAURA: Not everyone can fit through the chimney.
+
+MARISHA: Nott!
+
+SAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: Do you have a dagger?
+
+SAM: I have a shortsword.
+
+MARISHA: Can I borrow it?
+
+LIAM: I have a dagger.
+
+MARISHA: Can I borrow any bladed thing? Thank
+you.
+
+SAM: I don’t like to lend my items out.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to jack it up and see if I
+can–
+
+LAURA: I cast thunder. Thaumaturgy.
+
+MATT: Okay. (thunder rumbling) off in the
+distance. As you begin to pry a little bit, it
+
+begins to move up. There is some sort of a hatch.
+
+MARISHA: Does it feel like a trap door?
+
+MATT: It feels like a trap door a little bit.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, my god.
+
+MATT: As it’s pulling up, the shingles that are
+overlapped on it are overlapping the gap and start
+
+sliding a little bit. You immediately feel like if
+you open this, you’re going to send a bunch of
+
+shingles sliding off of the roof.
+
+LIAM: No, get them. Get them.
+
+SAM: Let’s go down the chimney. At least I can go
+down there and look to see if it’s possible.
+
+MATT: There is a very faint trail of smoke coming
+out of the chimney, by the way.
+
+LAURA: There’s a fire in there. What if we pull up
+these shingles?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, pull up the shingles.
+
+LAURA: And, like, stack them.
+
+MATT: So you begin to collect them. Where are you
+putting them?
+
+SAM: In the haversack!
+
+MATT: Okay. So you take a moment to go ahead and
+carefully– You have a collection now of roughly
+
+23 roof shingles in your haversack.
+
+MARISHA: Those could be valuable.
+
+MATT: So you can add that to your equipment.
+
+MARISHA: Are they clay shingles? Very valuable.
+
+LIAM: Look out, giant red dragons.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)
+
+MATT: We’ll say it takes you about five minutes or
+so to finally get all those off carefully. You
+
+manage to pry it open, and it opens up ever so
+slightly, and there’s a chain on each end that
+
+prevent it from (slamming open). It opens up just
+enough that you can slip inside, and there is a
+
+small ladder there that you can use to slowly get
+down into a small attic.
+
+LAURA: I’ll hold it open if you guys go scout.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Do you want to let them know that
+we’re going in?
+
+SAM: Yes. I pull out my thing, and I do my thing.
+
+MARISHA: Then Beau will go down first.
+
+SAM: We’re going in, to the house. You can
+respond to this message.
+
+They’re dead.
+
+LIAM: I drop in after Beauregard and I cast Detect
+Magic immediately.
+
+MATT: Okay. You cast Detect Magic.
+
+LIAM: 30 feet.
+
+TRAVIS: They’re going in the house.
+
+MATT: Right, 30 feet in the vicinity.
+
+MARISHA: I do the cool thing where, like, I slide
+down, like a fireman, down the ladder a little bit.
+
+MATT: Okay. It only goes down about five feet or
+so. It’s a very small crawl space.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I look real cool for five feet.
+
+MATT: You do. It’s a very small crawl space. It’s
+maybe, like, ten foot by five foot. It’s very
+
+dusty in here. It looks like there are a few clay
+pots. There looks to be a portrait, like some sort
+
+of a large art piece, that’s leaning against the
+wall and has some cobwebs over it. Other than
+
+that, it looks fairly empty, like it hasn’t been
+used fully. You, casting Detect Magic. Let me
+
+check real fast.
+
+Yeah. So you look around the
+vicinity in this chamber and you do not see any
+
+sort of faint magical aura in the crawlspace.
+
+SAM: Are there any other doors in this crawl space
+that lead into the main?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You do find, there is another trapdoor on
+the opposite end of the crawl space that is
+
+partially blocked by the art piece that’s leaning
+against it. You shift it out of the way and
+
+unhinge the top, and it opens and drops down to a
+hallway that has like faint a crackling firelight
+
+inside this hallway. You glance down inside. You
+can see a long hallway with tapestries on each
+
+wall of a beautiful writing. There are two
+ornamental armor sets that are set up on the side.
+
+You can see an ornamental sword that is bolted on
+the wall on the opposite end and stairs not too
+
+far from where you are that head further down into
+the building, and there is a doorway that leads to
+
+the right on the opposite end of the hallway.
+
+MARISHA: Jester, can you go ahead and cast a
+spell?
+
+LAURA: What spell?
+
+MARISHA: The locate-the-thing spell.
+
+LAURA: I am distracted by looking at this
+beautiful piece of art.
+
+SAM: Do you want to draw a mustache on it, or
+something? A dick butt?
+
+LAURA: I think I studied this artist back at
+home.
+
+LIAM: You know, we want to be efficient here.
+Quick.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. It only last for ten minutes
+though when I do it. So if we don’t find it soon then–
+
+LIAM: Yes, save more time to doing so. Let’s start
+moving. And you’re looking for bad physical things.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to–
+
+SAM: Traps?
+
+SAM: Oh, God! Yes! Oh, God! I forgot to
+look for any traps!
+
+ALL: Shh!
+
+SAM: Sorry. I going to take a big drink.
+
+LAURA: I’m sure Ulog can look for traps, because
+he’s also a rogue, right?
+
+MATT: He is, but he is behind you guys at this
+point.
+
+LAURA: Ulog, help us. Please.
+
+MATT: “All right. The two of us will keep an eye
+for traps.” He’s giving you an advantage. He’s
+
+giving you the help actually. You were down to
+casting what spell? You were casting–
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Locate Object. Cast
+spell. I’m going to search for a wax seal.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: What’s the light situation like in here?
+
+MATT: You go down and there are two torches that
+are burning in the edge, but they don’t have a
+
+fuel source. They are an ever-burning torch and
+they are both fixed to the wall, giving this
+
+flickering light in the vicinity. You’ve come down
+to the hallway?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: LEDs, yeah.
+
+MATT: So you guys have made your way down into the
+hallway. You’re still concentrating the spell,
+
+right?
+
+LIAM: Hells yes.
+
+MATT: There are magical auras emulating from these
+torches. They’re both everlight. You’ve seen this
+
+magic before. They just continuously burn. It’s
+continual flame. You also get a faint magical aura
+
+from each of the suits of armor, and a faint
+magical aura from the sword across the way on the
+
+opposite wall.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Like traps? Or they are just–
+
+SAM: I’m going to look for traps.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check
+with advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, fuck.
+
+LIAM: Do I know the school of magic?
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: What’d you roll? A 20?
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: 20. You carefully go forward and both you
+and Ulog pay attention. The floorboards of this
+
+hallway progress one after another, and there’s a
+cluster about four of them, about
+
+a-foot-and-a-half across each of them, that are
+slightly lifted on one side. Glancing forward, you
+
+can see there’s some sort of pressure device that
+triggers when those boards are stepped on.
+
+LIAM: There’s no magical aura from those at all?
+Those are separate. You’re not saying.
+
+MATT: You’re not sure.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: Ulog, you didn’t find anything. I found a
+trap.
+
+MATT: “Actually– fine.”
+
+LIAM: The spell says I know the school of magic
+for what’s on these things. You able to tell me that?
+
+MATT: Correct. I would say– That’s an interesting
+question.
+
+SAM: Necromancy.
+
+MATT: Let me check something real fast.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: There’s undead bodies in the armor!
+
+MATT: We’ll say it can go in two different ways.
+I’m not entirely sure.
+
+LIAM: If you don’t know how to answer, it’s fine.
+
+MATT: No, no. I do here. It would be–
+
+LIAM: (singing) Breaking the law. Breaking the
+law.
+
+MARISHA: Breaking the law.
+
+MATT: We’ll say conjuration.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Ja.
+
+MATT: No, transmutation, which you know well.
+
+SAM: Edubation.
+
+LIAM: I’m an expert in edubation.
+That’s Liam, not Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hm.
+
+I have a very bad feeling about these suits of armor.
+
+LAURA: So we won’t touch them.
+
+MARISHA: That was him. That was him. I did not say
+that.
+
+SAM: Let’s jump over this little hump.
+
+LIAM: Okay, but I don’t know exactly how these
+work, but I have a strong suspicion that these
+
+things can start moving and try to cut us up. Both
+these suits of armor and that weapon.
+
+LAURA: Are those traps would set them off?
+
+LIAM: Maybe.
+
+MATT: Jester. As you finish concentrating on the spell and
+focusing on the wax seal, you get a blip of its
+
+location in the next chamber beyond where you are
+in the door on the right.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh! How great because we came in–
+
+SAM: Let’s go!
+
+LAURA: We have to avoid the traps.
+
+SAM: Jump over that little hump.
+
+LIAM: Hopefully things will go very well, but
+there’s a chance that this thing that you are
+
+indicating is not connected to those, so be ready
+to fight.
+
+LAURA: So duck down. It’s like The Neverending
+Story. Don’t be afraid, you guys, just go!
+
+SAM: Wait, what if– we are up shit’s creek. So we
+need Schmidt’s creek. What if you have Schmidt do
+
+something? Can Schmidt go do something?
+
+MATT: As this is happening, Ulog is sighing
+loudly, pulls out some tools, and begins to fiddle
+
+with where the boards are on the ground. He
+manages to get a shortsword of his pressed
+
+underneath where the boards are and slips it
+across, slightly lifting each one as he goes until
+
+the sword peeks out the opposite side acting as a
+platform beneath.
+
+MARISHA: Dope! Yeah!
+
+SAM: I told him to do that, I sort of–
+
+He goes, “Watch and learn, little one.”
+
+LAURA: It’s like a training session.
+
+MATT: He goes and carefully steps on the boards,
+and then steps across with no effect.
+
+SAM: Is he mansplaining to me?
+
+MATT: Roguesplaining, technically.
+
+LIAM: This. Is. Exciting.
+
+LAURA: Come on this only lasts ten minutes let’s
+go!
+
+MARISHA: Someone stay watch. We’re going to go
+this way.
+
+SAM: We’re making progress! You can respond to
+this message.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m over here.
+
+SAM: We’re making progress!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As you guys head in, there’s the closed door
+that leads into the chamber where you’re sensing
+
+this aura.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Detect for traps. Look for traps on
+this door.
+
+SAM: Me? Okay. I’m gonna look for traps. Eight, plus
+five. 13.
+
+MATT: 13, okay. It is trapped.
+
+SAM: Oh! It’s a door? That’s trapped?
+
+MATT: Yes. It’s not locked, but it is trapped.
+
+MARISHA: Do I hear any movement in the house?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: How do we disarm a trap?
+
+MARISHA: Not bad, not bad.
+
+SAM: We let Ulog do it!
+
+MARISHA: 15.
+
+MATT: 15. You listen out. You do not hear any
+movement in the house other than what you
+
+currently are making.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: (hiccups)
+
+MATT: And a hiccup from out in the distance.
+
+TALIESIN: Hello, pick a card.
+
+MATT: Perception check from both of you guys, by
+the way, while this is happening.
+
+TRAVIS: 11.
+
+TALIESIN: 11.
+
+MATT: Okay. You don’t seem to notice anything. All
+right. So you guys–
+
+SAM: I’m going to try to disarm it.
+
+MATT: All right. You pull out your thieves’–
+
+SAM: Do I see the triggering mechanism?
+
+MATT: We’ll find out! Go ahead and make a thieves’
+tools check. So roll a d20, add your proficiency
+
+modifier and your dexterity modifier. Should be
+plus six, I think?
+
+SAM: Yes, 16.
+
+MATT: 16! As you carefully get down to where the
+knob is, you begin to turn it ever so slightly and
+
+you hear this spring begin to tighten, and you’re
+familiar with that sound. So you manage to get
+
+your tool underneath, and you find where the
+spring is, it’s barely in the space between where
+
+the door and the edge of the door frame is. You
+get the tool underneath, capture it, and as you
+
+pull the door open it prevents the spring from
+pulling back into the device. You slowly, as you
+
+expose it, reach in, snap the opposing side and
+remove the spring entirely, leaving the trap
+
+inert.
+
+SAM: These are your tools, Beau!
+
+LIAM: I wish I was still a rogue, it’s the best
+class!
+
+SAM: I feel so alive!
+
+MATT: As the door opens into a fairly
+well-decorated master bedroom. You see a large
+
+canopy bed, a beautiful detailed embroidered rug
+that consumes the center of the floor. You can see
+
+a fireplace to your right, the one that you saw
+that was attached to the top of the roof, that has
+
+a fire burning in it. It has two giant statues of
+lions on each side, this cool detailed shelf
+
+there. You can see a table with chairs to your
+left. You can see a slight opening to a balcony
+
+that’s not visible from the outside.
+
+SAM: Ooh, an invisible balcony.
+
+LIAM: I walk up behind Nott and scan the room with
+the spell.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re just scanning the room?
+
+LIAM: I’m just walking up behind Nott, no further,
+and looking in to see what glows.
+
+MATT: All right. As you glance in and look, there
+is immediately to your left a large metal cabinet
+
+of some kind. It is made of dark iron, and gives a
+very faint magical aura to it. The rug in the
+
+center of the room gives a faint magical aura as
+well.
+
+SAM: The rug?
+
+LAURA: Flying carpet!
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: Look for traps in the room.
+
+SAM: Okay. Did you see the lock I just–
+
+TRAVIS: Fuckin’ focus!
+
+LAURA: I did, but hurry!
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MATT: You’re looking for–
+
+SAM: Traps.
+
+MATT: Okay, investigation check. You glance around
+and look in the chamber. You don’t see anything
+
+that gives the essence of a trap to you. It looks
+like the trap was part of the entry here, but
+
+there’s nothing immediately in the vicinity that
+resembles a triggering trap.
+
+LIAM: What kind of magic is emanating from the
+carpet? What school of magic?
+
+MATT: The carpet? It’s also transmutation, and the
+magic on the large case has a faint abjuration.
+
+LAURA: Where is the glow for the seal is coming
+from?
+
+MATT: It’s underneath the rug.
+
+LIAM: I alert everyone. The carpet is magical.
+
+SAM: We should not step on it.
+
+LAURA: Well, I need to move it because the seal is
+under the rug.
+
+MARISHA: The seal’s under the rug?
+
+SAM: Do we have anything that can negate the magic
+or–
+
+MARISHA: Do you have Dispel Magic?
+
+LIAM: I do not.
+
+SAM: Can Schmidt stand on the carpet? Oh! I can
+move it with my Mage Hand or something, or peel it
+
+back with my mage hand.
+
+MATT: Mage Hand. Very helpful when setting
+grappling hooks on roofs.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit! Shut up, Ulog!
+
+MATT: “I’m just saying, if I knew you could do
+that, you could’ve–”
+
+SAM: Fuck you, I know what I’m doing.
+
+LAURA: So move the fucking carpet!
+
+SAM: You want me to move the carpet?
+
+LAURA: Move the rug.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a look for anything that looks
+out of place, any papers, anything, trap doors?
+
+MATT: Investigation check.
+
+LIAM: I have a question. The carpet reeks of
+abjuration, or– I would know that the carpet is magical.
+
+SAM: It was transmutation.
+
+LIAM: Transmutation. If the carpet is magical, I
+wouldn’t–
+
+MATT: You can only see magical sources from what
+you can see. So if a thing’s behind a wall or
+
+behind an object you don’t see an aura.
+
+LIAM: Right. The carpet seems magical to me, I
+wouldn’t think that something under the carpet is magical.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, I saw it.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Natural 20! As they’re having this
+conversation, you glance by the fireplace, the
+
+fire is crackling in there, and you glance down
+and right underneath the hearth, up where the
+
+fire’s tickling, you see a piece of the stonework
+that doesn’t match the others, it’s slightly
+
+off-colored. It looks like the burning of the fire
+that’s been given this dark and blackened look to
+
+it, there’s one brick there that doesn’t seem to
+have been affected by any of the soot at all.
+
+MARISHA: I, avoiding the rug, lightly step over
+it, and see if I can jiggy the brick out.
+
+MATT: As your finger presses against the brick it
+slides in about a half an inch, and you hear this
+
+(click) sound over by where the metal large
+cabinet is.
+
+LAURA: You just unlocked the fucking metal shit!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+
+LIAM: Do I see any change in the abjuration magic
+when she does that?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Does it go away?
+
+MATT: It vanishes.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: I’m going to cast Message. We are the fucking
+best! You can respond to this message!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I got to get that seal!
+
+LIAM: What you just did dispelled whatever ward
+was on the cabinet, however the carpet I can’t
+
+tell exactly what’s going on but there is
+something–
+
+LAURA: Use the Mage Hand to move the carpet.
+
+MARISHA: Give me the papers.
+
+SAM: I cast Mage Hand and slowly peel back a
+corner of the carpet.
+
+LAURA: I hand the two letters that we made for
+Lord Sutan.
+
+MATT: Okay, the carpet peels back and it reveals
+beneath it a section of the wood that has a hinge
+
+bolted to one side of it. It’s a square that’s cut
+out of it, it looks like it’s an open case. The
+
+carpet peels back, and then begins to fold back in
+its space, and then fold up again. It begins to
+
+slightly shift and rise, and the carpet almost
+seems to be gliding in the air on its own in the
+
+vicinity. It spins towards you and then rushes
+in your direction. I need everyone to roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: We’re fighting a carpet! The fuck!
+
+LAURA: We’re fighting a carpet.
+
+TALIESIN: We had it coming.
+
+LIAM: It’s an animated object!
+
+TRAVIS: I had that in my one-shot.
+
+LIAM: My kids have fought a broom. This happens.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, look at that carpet!
+
+MATT: That carpet is now gone, because instead you
+are fighting that carpet.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a cobra ready to strike!
+
+MATT: All righty, so Nott would’ve been over
+here.
+
+LAURA: So we’re rolling initiative, that’s what
+we’re doing?
+
+MATT: Yes, roll initiative, please. Beau, you’re
+over by the fireplace so you’ve just seen that
+
+happen there, and I think that’s–
+
+LIAM: I would be by Beau because I clapped her on
+the shoulder.
+
+MATT: Right, right.
+
+SAM: Yeah, Holly.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I forgot my dwarf mini.
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+MATT: Well, no, it’s in here somewhere. Forgot to
+bring it out. I am unprepared!
+
+TRAVIS: Unprepared. Just use a d4.
+
+LIAM: (sarcastically) You are not prepared, oh
+no.
+
+MATT: That’s fine, I’ll use this. I’ll say that
+that’s him there, it’s fine. Given that case,
+
+guys, first it’s a surprise round, as it whips its
+way over towards Nott.
+
+SAM: It gets a surprise round.
+
+MATT: It does, because it suddenly rushes in your
+direction. That is going to be a 21 to hit.
+
+SAM: That hits.
+
+MATT: Natural 16. It goes and wraps around you and
+completely envelops you within itself. All of a
+
+sudden you just see darkness, and you cannot
+breathe.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, this is going to suck.
+
+MATT: Currently you are enveloped by the Rug of
+Smothering.
+
+MARISHA: The Rug of Smothering.
+
+MATT: Initiative here. Top of the round, 25 to 20
+anybody.
+
+SAM: 24.
+
+MATT: 24, that’ll be you first, Nott. 20 to 15?
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+MARISHA: 15.
+
+MATT: Beau. 15 to 10?
+
+TALIESIN: 15.
+
+MATT: What’d you get Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Well you know, I rolled a nine.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not in this one, fucker. You guys are
+the best, that’s the last we heard.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: (singing) You’re the best around! Nothing’s
+ever going to bring you down!
+
+MATT: It’s true! Nott, it’s your turn first. You
+are restrained, you are blinded, and you are
+
+suffocating. At the start of your turn, you
+immediately take 12 points of bludgeoning damage
+
+as it’s now crushing and constricting your entire
+body. You feel the life being pulled out of you as
+
+you’re gasping for breath in this space. What are
+you going to do with your turn?
+
+SAM: A VS spell is verbal. Can I talk?
+
+MATT: Yes, you can still talk. You’re (muffled
+sounds). You still have the breath you had in your
+
+body when it went around you, so I’ll say you have
+enough air for one spell and then that’s all.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will touch it with Shocking Grasp,
+cast Shocking Grasp on it.
+
+MATT: Is that a spell attack roll?
+
+SAM: It’s touch, to hit plus five. So I have to
+roll.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you would have disadvantage because
+you’re restrained, but it’s also smothering you so
+
+I would give you advantage to that, so it’s just a
+straight roll.
+
+SAM: 13 plus five. 18!
+
+MATT: That hits! Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Okay. One point of damage. However, it can’t
+take reactions until its next turn.
+
+MATT: Good to know.
+
+SAM: Does it let me go?
+
+MATT: Nope!
+
+SAM: I can’t move away from it?
+
+MATT: No, you are restrained. You can try and
+break free, but it’s an action to try.
+
+SAM: Oh shit. Well, poo.
+
+MATT: But hey, there you go. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to cast Guiding Bolt on
+it.
+
+MATT: Okay. You see it wrapping around and Nott’s
+flailing about as this carpet is crushing her
+
+little body. Go ahead and–
+
+LAURA: Roll a ranged attack.
+
+MATT: Yes. Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Oh! Natural 19.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage
+on that.
+
+LAURA: That’s 4d6. Radiant.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, get it!
+
+SAM: Damn!
+
+LAURA: 15 damage, and the next attack has
+advantage against it.
+
+MATT: Okay, it takes eight points of radiant
+damage, and Nott takes seven points of radiant damage.
+
+LAURA: (gasping) Oh no!
+
+MATT: As you blast you hear Nott (muffled
+screaming) underneath, you get the sense all the
+
+damage dealt to this rug is divided with whoever
+it’s enveloping.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, I’m sorry, Nott!
+
+SAM: I can’t hear you.
+
+TRAVIS: He doesn’t know who’s doing it, that’s
+okay.
+
+MATT: Jester, you going to stay where you are?
+
+LAURA: Where am I?
+
+MATT: Sorry, you would’ve been probably over
+here.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, how do we get it off?
+
+LIAM: We damage it.
+
+LAURA: No, but we can’t damage it.
+
+MATT: You going to move or stay here?
+
+LIAM: No, I understand, but we damage it.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go stand on the bed!
+
+MATT: You move around and stand on the bed!
+
+SAM: And jump!
+
+MATT: All righty. That ends your turn Jester.
+Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: All right. I’m going to run up with my
+staff and do a crack crack.
+
+LAURA: No, but–
+
+MARISHA: Let me do my fucking thing, man. Let me
+do my fucking thing.
+
+TRAVIS: She doesn’t know.
+
+MARISHA: I have no fucking clue.
+
+TRAVIS: Same six seconds!
+
+LAURA: No, but you just heard Nott scream!
+
+LIAM: No one knows, who the fuck knows?
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, Nott. Crack!
+
+SAM: (screaming) I’m hurting! You can reply to
+this message!
+
+MARISHA: 16 for the first one.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that is six damage.
+
+MATT: That’s three to you, Nott.
+
+SAM: I’m unconscious.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you?
+
+SAM: Uh-huh.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit. Fuck.
+
+MARISHA: For the second one.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, you’re going to kill Nott!
+
+MARISHA: That hits. That’s a natural 16. And
+that’s seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven damage. That’s four damage to the
+thing and you fail a death saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Now I’m going to spend a ki point.
+
+TRAVIS: Doesn’t she fail two?
+
+MATT: No, that’s on a critical. She wasn’t
+attacking Nott specifically. She was attacking the rug.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend a ki point and do
+something that I have yet to do, which is Extract Aspects.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+TRAVIS: It can’t have that many hit points,
+right?
+
+MATT: Okay. So you hit it twice.
+
+MARISHA: Then I’m going to see if I can catch any
+reverberations off of the rug.
+
+MATT: All right. And it makes a what saving throw?
+Constitution?
+
+MARISHA: Constitution.
+
+MATT: That is an 11.
+
+MARISHA: Fail!
+
+MATT: All right. What do you want to know about
+it?
+
+MARISHA: I want to know its damage
+vulnerabilities. What’s it vulnerable to?
+
+MATT: It is actually not vulnerable to anything.
+
+MARISHA: What?! Do I get something else?
+
+MATT: You learned it is not vulnerable to
+anything.
+
+LIAM: You learned it’s badass.
+
+TRAVIS: Goddamn it.
+
+LAURA: We have to try to pull the rug off of– We
+have to out-strength the rug!
+
+LIAM: Next. Moving on.
+
+MARISHA: Hey guys, Nott’s in the rug.
+
+SAM: (muffled screaming)
+
+MATT: Now it’s Ulog’s turn. Ulog, who sees the rug
+there, is going to rush over and attempt to–
+
+LIAM: Oh, Ulog is a little girl.
+
+MATT: I know. It was the best I could find in the
+moment, you know?
+
+TRAVIS: It works.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. He rolls a two, because NPCs that
+I try and fight with can’t roll shit. That misses.
+
+That misses. To your benefit, Ulog tries to stab
+and is missing or hitting the edge of the tassels.
+
+It’s not even making an impact on the rug. He is
+going to use a bonus action to disengage and head
+
+back towards where the balcony is. All right. So
+that goes ahead and ends that. That brings us to
+
+the rug’s turn. The rug is going to go ahead and
+release Nott, and is going to attempt to
+
+completely envelop Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Hey guys, Nott’s down– Oh shit.
+
+MATT: That’s cocked. That is another 16. 21.
+
+MARISHA: Hits.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no.
+
+MATT: You, Beau, are now enveloped by the rug.
+
+MARISHA: Hey guys, I think this rug (choking).
+
+LAURA: How do we defeat this rug before it kills
+all of us?
+
+MATT: All righty. That’s going to go ahead and end
+the rug’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: How’d you guys die? A rug.
+
+TALIESIN: Rugs are the new doors.
+
+MATT: Actually, the rug’s going to go ahead,
+because it can still move– Well, it’s speed is
+
+nothing, nevermind.
+
+TRAVIS: What? It moves into the fireplace?
+
+MATT: Well it would move her away. No, it’s not
+going to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: (screams)
+
+MATT: It doesn’t have enough movement to move
+much. That brings us to the bottom. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I pull the potion of healing I have
+out of my belt, and I run over to Nott and I jam
+
+it into her mouth and pour it in. The whole time
+I’m going through my list of spells thinking of
+
+what could help. There’s nothing, but I’m going:
+Dancing Lights, Fire Bolt, Friends, Alarm, Burning
+
+Hands, Chromatic Orb, Comprehend Languages, Detect
+Magic. And I heal Nott.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll for the heal on that.
+
+MARISHA: And before I got wrapped up I said it’s
+not immune to any– (choking)
+
+It has no weaknesses– (choking)
+
+MATT: All righty. So how much does Nott heal?
+
+LIAM: 14 points.
+
+TRAVIS: Whoa!
+
+SAM: From one healing potion?
+
+LIAM: Greater.
+
+MATT: There you go. Top of the round. Nott, your
+turn. As you come to consciousness, you are still prone.
+
+TRAVIS: Return that damage.
+
+MATT: Caleb moved around to join your side there
+to go ahead and apply the potion.
+
+SAM: We can’t hurt Beau!
+
+MARISHA: No, it’s fine.
+
+SAM: I will go and try to wrestle the–
+
+TRAVIS: You’re a god!
+
+MARISHA: (choking)
+
+MATT: You know what, go ahead and make an
+athletics check.
+
+SAM: Two.
+
+MATT: No. You rush up and you grab it, and it
+actually lifts you off your feet and you are now
+
+being flailed in the air as you’re grabbing the
+edge of the rug, going (screams).
+
+SAM: (screaming)
+
+MATT: All right that ends your turn. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to try to go help Nott and I’m
+going to do the same thing. I’m going to try to
+
+pry the rug off of Beau.
+
+MATT: Okay. You move up. Go ahead and make an
+athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: This is the best!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a number.
+
+LAURA: That’s a number. It’s a 12.
+
+MATT: 12. You grab and you’re not pulled off your
+feet, but the rug is too strong and it’s not quite
+
+releasing its hold on Beau. Beau, it’s your turn.
+At the top of your turn, you suffer ten points of
+
+bludgeoning damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow!
+
+MATT: As it’s crushing your body on the inside and
+you cannot breathe. It is your turn, though. You
+
+can still go.
+
+LIAM: He’s killing our nostalgia for the carpet.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if there’s something in the room
+that will–
+
+SAM: Turn it off?
+
+LAURA: Turn it off.
+
+LIAM: He would have had to have told me that there
+was magic anywhere else in the room.
+
+LAURA: No, because the thing in the fireplace.
+
+LIAM: Right, was physical. That’s true.
+
+MATT: What are you doing, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Can I do any type of attack? What can I
+do?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you just have disadvantage on the
+attacks.
+
+MARISHA: I just have disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Come on, you are a badass. You can do it.
+
+TRAVIS: Roll that fucking shit.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to try and elbow the
+fucking shit out this rug.
+
+LIAM: You’re the best of all of us.
+
+MARISHA: I am the best!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck you, Gil.
+
+TRAVIS: Terrible, just awful.
+
+MARISHA: 11.
+
+LIAM: Wait, did you roll a 20 and an eight?
+
+MARISHA: No, I rolled my damage die.
+
+MATT: So it was an 11?
+
+MARISHA: For the first one.
+
+MATT: Misses.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. Second one.
+
+LIAM: Come on, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: No! It’s a two.
+
+MATT: It’s just too tight. You can’t quite get any
+movement to hit it. It’s a bad space for you.
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, you said– oh, disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re the best.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. It is now Ulog’s go.
+Ulog is going to rush up and attempt to stab at it
+
+as he sees it wrapping around there. That is a 12.
+That hits.
+
+TRAVIS: A 12 hits.
+
+MATT: Yeah, I know.
+
+TRAVIS: Guys.
+
+MATT: It does do sneak attack damage, because you
+guys are in the vicinity.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what?
+
+SAM: He’s doing sneak attack damage to the carpet,
+which translates to you.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fine.
+
+MATT: He doesn’t know. He’s trying to help. That’s
+going to be 12 points of piercing damage, so six
+
+to the rug and six to you.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+MARISHA: Ouch.
+
+MATT: The rug is starting to look a little torn up
+in places and you can see bits of Beau showing
+
+through where the gashes are stabbing through.
+It’s looking fairly hurt.
+
+MARISHA: Bits of Beau. Bits of Beau are showing.
+
+LIAM: Who wore it best?
+
+MATT: It’s the rug’s turn. The rug is going to
+attempt to shift itself and Beau a little bit away
+
+this direction. It can only get five feet because
+its speed is halved pulling you along with it and
+
+its speed is ten. So Nott, you get an attack of
+opportunity, if you want to take one.
+
+LAURA: It’s looking weak.
+
+SAM: Sure, I’ll swing a shortsword at it.
+
+MATT: You whip out your shortsword quickly.
+
+SAM: 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage with
+sneak attack. If you want to sneak attack. You
+
+don’t have to.
+
+SAM: Yeah, sure. If I’m going to hit it, I’m going
+to hit it. (counting) 15.
+
+MATT: 15, all right. That’s eight to the rug and
+seven to Beau.
+
+SAM: Oh, she’s out.
+
+LIAM: No, she’s not out.
+She’s hanging on.
+
+MATT: The rug is barely holding on by a thread.
+You see it still keeps her constrained. You see
+
+parts of it are fraying and falling apart. The
+threads are dangling, but it’s still keeping its
+
+mass strongly and tightly around her. It’s still
+crushing her and mainly wrapped around her face so
+
+she can’t see and she can’t breathe. That ends the
+rug’s turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: You’re up.
+
+LIAM: What am I doing? I rush forward and I am
+going to try to pry the rug off of her.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+LIAM: Ja. Come on, roll big. Nope.
+
+Athletics? Nein!
+
+ALL: Nein!
+
+MATT: There it is. You’re trying to pull and you
+get some threads that snap off and you’re like
+
+“Shit!” It’s not working. You’re not getting the
+right grasp on it.
+
+LIAM: Next.
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Me? What about Jes?
+
+MATT: No, it’s you and then Jester.
+
+SAM: Oh, that was a reaction. Well, I guess I see
+how bad the rug is doing and I will swing that
+
+shortsword again. Why not?
+
+LAURA: Vengeance.
+
+SAM: It’s a 15.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+If you want to do it with sneak attack, up to you.
+
+SAM: You said it was hanging by a thread, right?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s doing pretty rough. It’s
+up to you.
+
+SAM: Maybe not sneak attack damage. Ooh, ten
+points?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So that’s five damage to Beau and the rug.
+
+MARISHA: Guys, this rug is expensi–
+
+MATT: You tear through the rug. You cut through
+and the rug bisects, but you also see that where
+
+you cut through also cut across the front of Beau
+as her eyes roll back and she plops onto the
+
+ground, the rug falling in pieces to the ground
+around her, coming to rest.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t let me bleed on it!
+
+SAM: Ah! What have I done?! Heal her!
+
+LAURA: I will. I cast Cure Wounds on her.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and cast Cure Wounds to
+heal.
+
+LAURA: Eight points.
+
+MARISHA: (gasps) I didn’t bleed on it, did I? I
+move off the rug so I don’t bleed on it.
+
+MATT and LAURA: The rug is shredded.
+
+SAM: I’m going to cast Message. Remember the
+hospital? That. You can reply to this message.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: It’s going as well as the hospital.
+
+TALIESIN: That seems fair.
+
+LAURA: He’s going to know we were in his room
+because the rug is messed up.
+
+SAM: We’ll fix it later.
+
+LIAM: That’s okay, because if the plan goes
+according to plan, yeah. Allow myself to introduce
+
+myself. If everything goes well, we get Orentha to
+fall on both of these people at once. So let’s
+
+finish what we’re doing, ja?
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Ja, doesn’t matter. No one is going to
+care about a rug or him screaming about a rug.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Let’s gather up the pieces of the rug
+so it’s not, you know.
+
+MATT: So you gather all the pieces of the rug to
+join your shingles.
+
+MARISHA: Scoop up the rug.
+
+LAURA: Check the fucking thing if it’s trapped.
+
+LIAM: Check that armoire or whatever it is.
+
+LAURA: No, check the thing on the ground and see
+if it’s trapped first.
+
+LIAM: Check them both.
+
+SAM: I’ll check the thing on the ground while Ulog
+checks the thing on the mantelpiece or wherever it is.
+
+LIAM: He’s got a safe and a floor.
+
+SAM: What am I checking? 14 on the thing on the
+floor.
+
+MATT: It does not appear to be
+trapped. It does appear to be locked. Roll again.
+
+LIAM: No more magic?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+SAM: 15 plus thieves’ tools.
+
+MATT: Yeah, easy enough. (lock clicks) You manage
+to open it up and there is a small chest about
+
+that big that rests in a small cubby beneath.
+
+SAM and LAURA: What does it have in it?
+
+MATT: As you open the chest, make a constitution
+saving throw.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit.
+
+Ten.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Son of a gun.
+
+MATT: So first, there’s a sudden burst of a brief
+light through it, and all your muscles tense up
+
+and you are paralyzed.
+
+LIAM: Motherfucker.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. It’s okay.
+
+LIAM: What about Ulog?
+
+MARISHA: What about Ulog?
+
+LIAM: Because it’s simultaneous.
+
+MATT: Ulog goes, “No traps,” and pulls it open. No
+issue.
+
+LIAM: What is in there with Ulog?
+
+MATT: Inside with Ulog, you see a beautiful set of
+burgundy and gold robes that are up hanging, you
+
+see a set of polished bracers made of cobalt steel
+that are both dangling on a hook, and you see
+
+three ancient statuettes, like relics or
+collector’s items, that are arranged on the bottom
+
+of it that all look like old museum pieces.
+
+MARISHA: Do they have any symbols on them? On the
+statues?
+
+LIAM: All magical, I assume. I assume they’re
+glowing.
+
+MATT: Are you still concentrating?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I haven’t cast anything that breaks
+that.
+
+MATT: That’s true, you didn’t take any damage.
+None of them are glowing except for the cobalt
+
+bracers.
+
+MARISHA: Do I recognize any symbols or see any
+symbols on the statues?
+
+MATT: Make a history check.
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten. You do not, unfortunately.
+
+LIAM: Nott just collapsed on the floor,
+paralyzed.
+
+LAURA: No, Nott’s paralyzed holding onto the
+chest.
+
+MATT: Holding to the chest. The chest which is now
+open, in Nott’s hand.
+
+LAURA: I am petting Nott’s head and going: Don’t
+worry, in the morning, I can take a spell that
+
+will heal you, so we’ll carry you out here, okay?
+Everything will be fine.
+
+LIAM: I pull the chest free of Nott’s hands. Is
+this chest glowing?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s got the seal in it. Does it have
+the seal in it?
+
+MATT: On the inside there is a faint glow. If you
+look inside, you see there’s a cluster of platinum
+
+pieces. They’re stacked on the side and have
+shifted around from the movement. You see a single
+
+polished river stone, about that big, that is
+giving a glowing aura, and you see a few sticks of
+
+wax and a single pressed wax seal.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I sit down. Oh, do we see his
+handwriting anywhere? Any letters?
+
+MATT: You do not see in this vicinity any letters
+or handwriting, no.
+
+MARISHA: It’s okay. He always gets his squires to
+do his dirty work. But we have the seal.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll sit down and I’ll write a letter
+really fast that says, “The plan–”
+
+MARISHA: He’s working with the Myriad, and all
+that stuff earlier.
+
+LIAM: We have that already. We did it in advance.
+I start rooting through Nott’s pockets to find the
+
+letter in Thieves’ Cant.
+
+LAURA: No, that’s different. Those are letters we
+were leaving here.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, Thieves’ Cant we’re leaving here.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: So we should leave them here.
+
+MARISHA: But we wrote up the letters for the
+High-Richter too, just so we can stamp.
+
+LAURA: We didn’t actually write that letter yet
+because I was waiting for his handwriting.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah we did because we put the Knights of
+Requital in it. The KR symbol.
+
+LAURA: Sure, why not?
+
+LIAM: From Richter to Sutan we did, so we’re
+leaving those, and we’re leaving a note–
+
+MATT: Marisha, make a perception check. You both
+make perception checks.
+
+LIAM: Nott’s fake Myriad note we’re leaving here,
+so I pull that out of Nott’s pockets.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: 18? You do glance–
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: Good to know. You glance off to the side and
+there is a desk in the corner that has two sets of
+
+drawers that are currently closed.
+
+LIAM: While Jester and Caleb are arguing, Caleb
+grabs the little magical stone that’s in that box
+
+and puts it in his pocket.
+
+MATT: Okay. You grab it and put it in your
+pocket.
+
+MARISHA: I stuff the letters that we were planting
+on the High-Richter in the– sorry, on Sutan into
+
+the safe.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Close the safe.
+
+MATT: Okay (clicking).
+
+MARISHA: Run over to the desk, open the desk, look
+through it. Do I see anything?
+
+MATT: Mostly it’s just blank parchment. You do see
+a few notes that are maybe partially written
+
+letters that were crumpled up and thrown in there
+that are Lord Sutan’s handwriting.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Let me see!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, go!
+
+LAURA: Okay! I look at it and then I sit down and
+write the letter and go– okay, what’s her name?
+
+The High-Richter’s letter’s first name?
+
+TRAVIS: Prucine.
+
+MARISHA: Prucine! Dayana Prucine!
+
+LAURA: Dayana, okay. I’m going to write: Dayana,
+got your message, our plan is moving forward
+
+exactly as we discussed. The Myriad has our back!
+
+MARISHA: Sure, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Sure. Then sign it Lord Sutan.
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Oh! And something about the Big-O going
+down.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+LAURA: The Big-O will go down.
+
+MARISHA: Tonight, plan happening, sooner than
+later.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for your forgery
+kit. So roll a d20, add your proficiency modifier
+
+and your intelligence modifier.
+
+TALIESIN: This is hard, being outside.
+
+MATT: I’m sorry, guys.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s okay. Someone had to do it.
+
+LAURA: Roll my proficiency plus my intelligence.
+Aw, my intelligence?! Why not wisdom?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Got to do it.
+
+LAURA: Nine.
+
+MARISHA: Is there any way I can help her? Like
+being also proficient in forging in this
+
+background and stuff?
+
+MATT: Sure. I’ll say since you were helping her
+that I’ll give you advantage on the roll.
+
+LAURA: Advantage?
+
+MATT: Advantage on the roll. So roll one more
+time.
+
+LAURA: (sighs) Ooh, that’s so much better! 22!
+
+MATT: You start making one and it’s not quite
+working out and Beau looks over your shoulder,
+
+points it out, you take it–
+
+MARISHA: Ah, you forgot the hooks on the G’s!
+
+MATT: You throw it in the fireplace and incinerate
+that one and then make another one. This one is
+
+pretty solid and it matches the writing
+perfectly.
+
+LAURA: This is really good.
+
+MARISHA: Wow, yes! It looks amazing. You should be
+proud.
+
+LAURA: I roll it up, heat up the wax, seal it–
+
+MATT: (hissing) Done.
+
+LAURA: Put the letter in the bag. We have it for
+later. Then I go and pick up Nott. Let’s get out of here.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s get the fuck out of here.
+
+LIAM: We’ve left the Thieves’ Cant note from the
+“Myriad” and we’ve left the–
+
+Yeah? Everything that we’ve planned?
+
+LAURA: Does anyone have any books around?
+
+MATT: In the current room? There is a shelf in the
+hallway that you can see that has a few books.
+
+LIAM: Is anything glowing there though, Matthew?
+
+MATT: No there’s nothing glowing.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take out one of the pamphlets
+for the Traveler and stick it into one of the
+
+books.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Okay, and then I pick up Nott!
+
+MATT: You guys make your way back up to the
+entranceway up into the crawlspace above the
+
+attic, pull it closed and latch it. You move the
+art piece back over. You make your way back to the
+
+edge of the roof where you guys had exited,
+climbing the ladder that’s attached to it, making
+
+your way onto the roof, getting Nott up there,
+manhandled, Ulog following you as you get to the
+
+top. You close it–
+
+MARISHA: Put some shingles back.
+
+MATT: You put the shingles back in the space. For
+that, I’m going to have to have you both roll
+
+dexterity checks, please. Or, since you’re
+helping, have you roll a dexterity check with
+
+advantage, because you’re helping her.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Just straight dexterity?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: 15.
+
+MATT: 15. Okay. You manage to find and arrange
+them in a way where they aren’t going to slide off
+
+and even with a bit of rain that’s in there you
+find the pockets where they originally, mostly
+
+sitting so they’re not going to coast with any
+sort of weather shift.
+
+MARISHA: It looks all right, right? Okay.
+
+LAURA: I pick up Nott. I walk her as we tiptoe
+across the roof.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys are noticing at this
+point as they’re on the roof, because you’re
+
+paying attention you see them begin to emerge on
+the roof as you begin to see a cluster of
+
+crownsguard doing a pass through the street.
+
+TALIESIN: So I know that we can see if they’re
+coming through?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: We may need to distract. I’m going to:
+Go fuck with the dog. I push the cat away with
+
+that. And do you want to go out?
+
+TRAVIS: Do what?
+
+TALIESIN: Do you want– we distract Crownsguard?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, of course. Yeah. (clears throat)
+
+MATT: There’s four of them that are approaching
+and they’re going by and keeping an eye on things.
+
+TRAVIS: I walk up to the four of them.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I heard there’s a disturbance over here. I
+need some assistance, please.
+
+MATT: “What kind of disturbance?”
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a rowdy bunch over here, been
+drinking too much already, anticipating the
+
+festival. Would you come with me?
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, god. 13.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I assist?
+
+MATT: Technically, no because you weren’t part of
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: I was about to– yeah, I know, yeah.
+
+MATT: Had to catch it before the roll,
+unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: That’s okay, (chuckles) he rolled a one. The
+snitch isn’t working for me tonight.
+
+LAURA: Oh god. Move.
+
+MATT: So the two of them don’t seem to quite buy
+into it, but the two of them that go, “Well, all
+
+right. We’ll follow. Lead on.” Leads the three–
+you jog along. Two of them continue their route.
+
+TALIESIN: How’s your evening going gentlemen?
+
+MATT: “Keep moving along.”
+
+TALIESIN: Want a free tarot reading? I’m on a
+five-minute break for the entertainment.
+
+MATT: “We’re all right, but thank you.” They keep
+walking.
+
+TALIESIN: I sent the cat, so the cat should be–
+
+LIAM: Yeah. (angry meow)
+
+MATT: Frumpkin makes his way around. (barking)
+Again, the dog unleashes a torrent of barks, like
+
+“No, not again!” You hear the other guy being
+pulled across the yard. He’s being dragged through
+
+the wet grass. You guys begin to make your way
+across. Who’s carrying Nott across?
+
+LAURA: I will.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to try to hook Nott over me. So
+like she’s attached.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check as you try to make
+your way across the rope.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got this.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try to hold the rope as hard
+as I can. (grunts)
+
+LIAM: Athletics check? For everybody, right?
+
+MARISHA: Oh come on, girl.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck! That’s not good.
+
+TRAVIS: (chuckling) You pulling your eyebrows
+off?
+
+MATT: So do you want to save yourself or Nott?
+Because one of you is falling.
+
+LAURA: I save Nott and I’ll fall.
+
+MATT: As you grasp, you loop Nott around the rope.
+As you lose your grip, feeling it coming and you
+
+tumble down.
+
+Falling three stories.
+
+TALIESIN: That many stories?
+
+LAURA: Three stories.
+
+MARISHA: I know. We were three stories up.
+
+MATT: So you take 12 points of bludgeoning damage
+as you crack! Hit the ground.
+
+LAURA: (pained) Oh. Thaumaturgy. Thunder.
+
+MATT: As you impact, the two guards that were
+talking to you and chatting,
+
+immediately whip around and see Jester on
+the ground and put their hands on their weapons
+
+and begin rushing towards her.
+
+LAURA: Am I on the outside of the–
+
+MATT: You’re on the outside of the fence, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay, that’s great.
+
+MATT: Like just barely. You just missed the wall.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have Nott on the rope?
+
+MATT: Nott is up on the rope, hanging and
+dangling.
+
+MARISHA: Can I pull Nott up and roll over and hide
+on the rope? Or on the roof?
+
+MATT: Sure. You tug her over onto the roof.
+
+TALIESIN: There you are, dear!
+
+LAURA: Am I 12 damage?
+
+MATT: 12 damage.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m running with them to see what
+happened.
+
+There you are dear! Good god! There were
+those hooligans that were roughing us up earlier.
+
+Are you all right?
+
+LAURA: They hurt me so bad.
+
+TALIESIN: I knew you were going to be okay,
+anyway. Do you mind helping?
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. Fucking–
+
+TRAVIS: Come on!
+
+LIAM: Come on, Tal!
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. Four.
+
+LAURA: But I was helping because I’m bloody.
+
+MATT: You should have said before the roll.
+
+(groaning)
+
+MATT: Okay. They both go “All right, miss.” They
+pick you up and the other guy takes your arm and is like–
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, I’m only a little drunk.
+
+MATT: “Right. All right.” They drag you and start
+bringing you towards the gates out of the
+
+Tri-Spire.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+MARISHA: So wait, she was on the other side of the
+gate?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+MATT: So you two make your way–
+
+LAURA: But I’m staying at the Pillow Trove
+tonight.
+
+MATT: “Miss, you’ve got to sober up and you can
+find your way back tomorrow morning.” So they
+
+escort you out of the Tri-Spire. You guys are
+pushed beyond the gates and there’s now eight
+
+guards at each gate that are preventing any
+passage in and out. You guys are shoved back out
+
+into the city.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re a gofficer and a nentleman. Thank
+you very much.
+
+MATT: However, that distraction gives you guys
+enough time to get the rest of you over and down
+
+to the beyond the tree.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, yeah. I like do a climber’s loop
+harness and tie Nott around me, around my middle
+
+section and then get over.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you guys all get across. You
+leaving the rope there or are you detaching it?
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m trying to detach it if I can. No
+trace.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I love his facial expressions from here.
+
+MATT: Make a dexterity check.
+
+LIAM: Work that shit. This is–
+
+MARISHA: Fucking– Gil! Gil, you’re a piece of
+shit today!
+
+MATT: Aw, Gil.
+
+MARISHA: Six. I love you, Gil.
+
+LIAM: How far away is where the grapple is hooked
+from us right now?
+
+MATT: It’s about ten feet from you.
+
+LIAM: I cast Unseen Servant. Schmidt lifts up the
+grapple and tosses it free.
+
+MATT: Okay. The rope does break, and the grapple
+bends. The grapple’s not usable anymore. You do
+
+remove the evidence, but the grapple’s not usable
+at the moment.
+
+MARISHA: Your lips are getting purple again.
+
+TRAVIS: Faces of death.
+
+MATT: As you guys pull yourselves away from the
+vicinity about 45 minutes later as you guys are
+
+collecting yourselves eventually the paralysis
+wears off.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MATT: It lasted for an hour total.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+LIAM: Wow.
+
+TALIESIN: You had time to think about that.
+
+SAM: The chest is trapped.
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: We are booking it to try to get to the
+sewer entrance so we can get back in.
+
+MARISHA: It will– I guess–
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll try and meet up with these guys?
+
+LIAM: We need to get to our next target
+immediately.
+
+MARISHA: We need to get to our next target.
+
+LAURA: I’ve got the fucking letters.
+
+MARISHA: Correct. So they’ll know to meet us
+there.
+
+LIAM: Everybody’s going to the same place.
+
+MARISHA: Correct. Let’s get there and then we’ll
+wait for Jester and Jester.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Ulog pulls out a pocket watch and he
+looks and it and is like “Oh, she better fucking
+
+hurry up. Let’s go.” You guys make your way over
+towards where the High-Richter’s home is.
+
+SAM: How is she going to get back in to the–
+
+TALIESIN: We can disguise you.
+
+MATT: The two of you guys head back–
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, I have the disguise charm.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, no, the charm won’t work.
+
+MATT: You guys are heading back to where the sewer
+is, you’re saying?
+
+TALIESIN: I was thinking about pushing straight
+through the front door again.
+
+LAURA: You want to try?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a coat and a mask.
+
+LAURA: Is there another entrance we can go to?
+
+MATT: There is another entrance. It’s on the
+northern side.
+
+LAURA: Well, it’ll probably be faster to do that
+than to go–
+
+MATT: Could be.
+
+LAURA: Okay. We’ll book it to the other entrance.
+
+MATT: Okay, you rush around through the street.
+You make your way back to the northern gate to the
+
+district and there there is another nine or ten
+guards stationed, with one on the top of the wall
+
+with their crossbow ready.
+
+LAURA: I’m pristine and sober.
+
+MATT: As you approach, “Hey! Sorry, no entry. The
+gala is tonight.”
+
+LAURA: I know. We’re going to the gala.
+Obviously.
+
+TALIESIN: Masked.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: Because all the checks tonight have been so
+good.
+
+MATT: I know. The rolls have been phenomenal.
+
+LAURA: Okay! 18.
+
+MATT: 18?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Gives you both a look over.
+
+“All right, then.”
+
+LAURA: We run as soon as we’re in.
+
+MARISHA: How long were we waiting there? Were we
+waiting long enough to where we can take a short
+
+rest?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Because of– yeah, you can take a
+short rest.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yeah.
+
+MATT: You get that back.
+
+LAURA: I guess I’ll cast Cure Wounds on myself as
+we’re running.
+
+SAM: Short rest? Can we use hit dice?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, we can.
+
+MATT: So you guys get to use hit dice, they do
+not.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: Okay, eight points healed.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nice.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Psst, Marisha, how do you tell how many hit
+dice you have?
+
+MARISHA: It is generally your level plus whatever
+your class is. So I’m 1d8 plus three.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s in your short rest button.
+
+SAM: It is?
+
+MARISHA: Oh no, sorry. I currently have 3d8.
+
+TALIESIN: Short rest is down at the bottom.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+LAURA: Okay. So we’re trying to avoid the guard so
+we don’t get spotted again and get kicked out again.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You guys carefully find a space that’s
+away and out of sight, probably by one of the
+
+small fountains on the side and you all sit there
+and rest for a bit, having drinks. Eventually, you
+
+guys manage to catch up with the rest of the group
+as they’re finishing their short rest. You’ve
+
+reconvened, you have your materials.
+
+LAURA: That went really well, I think. Did we put
+everything back in order before we left the room?
+
+We did, right? Yes, we did.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, good enough. The only thing
+that’s going to be obviously missing is the fucking rug!
+
+LAURA: The magical rug.
+
+MARISHA: I wasn’t anticipating a rug. But we beat
+the rug. Get it? We beat the– we beat it.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this a thing that really happened?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, there was a rug that turned to life
+and attacked us.
+
+MATT: Ulog’s staring at his pocket watch, again
+looking off at the gala in the distance, is like
+
+“All right, if we’re going to fucking do
+something, let’s do it.”
+
+LAURA: Let’s go! We go to the High-Richter’s
+house.
+
+MARISHA: Ulog. How much longer do you think is
+left of this gala?
+
+MATT: “Ah,” and he looks off and is like, “I don’t
+know. Fuck it. Let’s go now. I can’t wait any longer.”
+
+MARISHA: Molly. If the High-Richter tries to come
+back, you have to drunkenly distract her. Okay?
+
+You cannot let her come in this house.
+
+SAM: How are we getting into this house?
+
+MARISHA: Well, we scouted it before.
+
+SAM: Yeah. We found out that there’s a door.
+
+MARISHA: And more guards.
+
+SAM: But that doesn’t give us a way in.
+
+MARISHA: Same plan. Just go with it.
+
+SAM: But there’s no trees!
+
+MARISHA: Shut up! There is!
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Are there trees?
+
+MATT: No. You’re on the outskirts of the home, and
+you’ve been here once before, this wall is not an
+
+iron gate. It’s an actual solid, tall stone and
+mason wall that’s pretty tight. There’s maybe a
+
+three-foot gap between the side of the house, like
+three or four-foot gap from the side of the house
+
+to this. The building is two stories. There is the
+upper balcony that overlooks the whole exterior of
+
+the area before it. There are the two guards at
+the front.
+
+SAM: We need to take them out and go through the
+front door.
+
+LAURA: Maybe– Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you want to look like the High-Richter
+and walk in without saying anything?
+
+SAM: You?
+
+LAURA: You want to be a guard and I can look like
+the High-Richter?
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: We met the High-Richter before, you know.
+Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Yes. Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, I’ll Disguise Self to look like a
+crownsguard.
+
+LAURA: I cast Disguise Self and look like the
+High-Richter.
+
+MATT: Okay. In what outfit?
+
+LAURA: (muttering) Oh, god.
+
+MARISHA: She had ceremonial armor–
+
+LAURA: Yes, but she was probably going to the gala
+tonight.
+
+MARISHA: That was gold and white ceremonial armor.
+Yeah, but I’m sure–
+
+SAM: Wait, before you do this, why don’t we go to
+the festival and see what she looks like?
+
+MARISHA: We don’t have time.
+
+LAURA: There’s no time.
+
+LIAM: What if she came home with some crazy
+outfit? Crazy cloak.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to put her in a cloak that looks
+like it had wine spilled on it. Like, covering up
+
+the rest of the outfit, a big–
+
+SAM: A white cloak?
+
+LAURA: A white cloak that looks like it had red
+wine spilled down the front. Fjord, you explain to
+
+the guards that I’m very pissed off because
+someone spilled their drink on me.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MATT: All right. What are the rest of you guys
+doing?
+
+SAM: I’m going to go around and see if there’s any
+other entrances, or if there’s any other guards
+
+around the perimeter.
+
+MARISHA: I join Nott. We’ll flank.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with advantage,
+because they’re helping you on this one.
+
+SAM: Okay, seven.
+
+MARISHA: What the fuck?
+
+MATT: You don’t see any secret entrances, you
+don’t see any other gates. Looks like the front
+
+door is the main way to get in, or over the wall.
+There is no one watching the back, as it is a
+
+solid gate. It seems like the only entrance is
+from the front, and that’s probably intentional
+
+from a defensive standpoint.
+
+LIAM: How high is the wall?
+
+MATT: The wall is about– let me check real fast.
+This would be seven-foot.
+
+LIAM: Seven foot? Frumpkin’s on top of the wall.
+What do I see?
+
+MATT: You glance down. A small area of wildflower
+and natural bushes have grown to fill the space in
+
+between, where it’s thigh-high. There is a door in
+the back, near the wall, with a small yard, maybe
+
+a ten-foot yard, towards the very back area.
+There’s a small porch area with nice chair and a
+
+little reading nook. There’s a book left outside
+that looks like it got rained on and forgotten,
+
+it’s dried and crinkled. There is a door that
+leads in from the back of that porch area there.
+
+LIAM: Are there any people?
+
+MATT: There are no people in the back.
+
+MARISHA: You want me to give you a boost?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I relayed that all to them. There’s
+nobody back there, right? Yeah. Seven feet tall. Easy.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, come on, ready? Me and Caleb. One,
+two, three.
+
+SAM: (squeals)
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check. Sorry, acrobatics,
+for you.
+
+LAURA: Why are you going in?
+
+MARISHA: Just in case? Backup.
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+MATT: Without even touching the wall, you
+double-flip in the air and land, ever so silently.
+
+You almost land on the book table, causing it to
+knock over, but you just miss it. You’re there
+
+quietly now, there’s the door across the way. What
+are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going in.
+
+LAURA: We’re disguised and we’re walking straight
+up.
+
+MATT: You approach the two guards and they both
+look at each other.
+
+LAURA: I look incredibly angry.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m about ten feet in front of her, and I
+walk up. All right lads, open up. She’s in one of
+
+her moods. Had wine spilled all over her. Hurry
+up!
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: This is it.
+
+TRAVIS: 22.
+
+MATT: 22. They both go, “Oh, shit. Right in.”
+
+TRAVIS: Quickly, I like this detail. Open up.
+
+MATT: One pulls out the key unlocks the gate. They
+open from each side as you rush through. Make a
+
+deception check for you as well.
+
+LAURA: Just walking?! Why? I’m walking!
+
+MATT: With advantage, because you’re dressed as
+her.
+
+SAM: Thank god. Much better.
+
+LAURA: That’s 18.
+
+MATT: They both go, “Ma'am.” They both pull back,
+frightened. You go to the front door. It’s locked.
+
+SAM: Oh, no.
+
+TRAVIS: You fools, open the door. Don’t you
+see she’s in a state?
+
+MATT: One of them rushes forward and unlocks it,
+glancing out of the side of his eye towards you, shaking.
+
+LAURA: I breathe really hard.
+
+TRAVIS: I am so sorry, High-Richter. I assure you,
+this night is almost over. Would you hurry up?!
+
+MATT: “Gah!” Opens the door and it throws open.
+
+TRAVIS: I follow in behind her.
+
+MATT: They close the door quietly behind you.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: (breathe deeply)
+
+LAURA: Is anybody inside the house?
+
+MATT: No. It is dark. There is no light source on
+the inside right now.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got darkvision. Can I see anything?
+
+MATT: It’s low light through the vicinity. You see
+the interior chamber that is–
+
+MARISHA: (hyperventilating)
+
+MATT: It is gaudy as fuck in here. You see all the
+walls have really intricate siding and there’s
+
+inset designs that are carved into it, with
+statues and busts of various elven figures. The
+
+main chamber leads to a spiral staircase that
+leads to the second floor. You see three busts on
+
+each side of all these different elven, very
+regal-looking figures adorning each side. You see
+
+around the side of it to the right, there appears
+to be a dining hall with a long table.
+
+(metal hitting the table)
+
+SAM: Sorry.
+
+MATT: There you go. To the left it, looks like a kitchen vicinity,
+and there’s the spiral staircase that leads up.
+
+TRAVIS: We should go up.
+
+LAURA: There were a lot of traps in the last house
+we were in.
+
+MATT: Outside of the wall where you guys are,
+Ulog’s like, “My turn. Give me a lift?”
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. God, are you sure, Ulog?
+
+LIAM: You’re going up?
+
+MATT: “Are we not going in?”
+
+LIAM: I’m going in with her. Kneel down. I’m going
+to climb up on his back and start to try to climb.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+LAURA: Why? Why are we adding more things to
+this?
+
+MARISHA: You at least need a rogue. All you need
+is the rogue.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t have to do it all.
+
+LIAM: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. You climb up over the wall and get to
+the very top. He puts his hands up. “Help me.”
+
+MARISHA: Ulog. No, Ulog, why don’t we stay? They
+can plan it. Let’s just fucking stay.
+
+MATT: “Because I helped put this together. I want
+to be here. I want to make sure this happens.”
+
+MARISHA: Ulog, listen to me. You are here. You are
+a part of it, just let them do this. Trust us.
+
+MATT: “Understand, she might have paperwork up
+there that could absolve my wife.”
+
+MARISHA: Ulog, this is not the point of why we’re
+here in the moment. Stay focused. We can get your
+
+wife out later. Don’t blow the whole operation
+because of your wife.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck.
+
+SAM: Beau’s got all the persuasion.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s not my thing, you guys.
+
+Four total.
+
+MATT: He gives you a nice, solid look and goes,
+“Understood,” and then leaps up onto the wall and
+
+off the other side, landing next to Nott.
+
+LIAM: Oh, he leaps? I was going to say, seeing
+that argument, that I dropped down to the ground
+
+on the other side. And not help him.
+
+MATT: He glances up, sees you gone, and leaps. He
+barely crests the top. He’s a nimble dwarf.
+
+MARISHA: He could cost us everything.
+
+TALIESIN: Slightly ahead of the house, so I can
+see if people are going to be approaching the
+
+house, I put my jacket down and set up a little
+busking. A mild busk.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, I know we have to move, and it’s
+not our thing, can we roughly check the stairwell
+
+for traps?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LAURA: Same, I’m looking around.
+
+MATT: Make it with advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: As you glance about the space, you can see
+the statues that are facing each other on each
+
+side, it looks like the dust on the pedestal is
+brushed off in an arc, like they are often rotated.
+
+TRAVIS: This is set up to– wait a minute. If we
+came home, there’s got to be a way to turn it off,
+
+right? I mean, if she had walked in, she wouldn’t
+be trying to look out for the traps. Maybe there’s
+
+something by the door jamb or in the wall, or
+something we can press.
+
+LAURA: There was a little brick that turned off
+all the magic things in the other place, so maybe
+
+can I look around on the walls and see if there’s
+some sort of–
+
+TRAVIS: Can we check the door jambs and the
+walls?
+
+LAURA: To see if there’s a trigger to stop all the
+traps?
+
+MATT: Because you rolled a natural 20, you notice
+that the dust that’s grinding is from the sliding
+
+of the statues, and they all seem to slide towards
+the stairs. If you look where the dust is on them,
+
+there’s a slight outcropping on each of them and
+the position appears like they have been moved
+
+many times away– they’re facing each other– to
+look toward the stairs.
+
+LAURA: Let’s turn them. We turn them together.
+
+TRAVIS: The same time, one at each.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: One, two, three. (stone
+grinding)
+
+MATT: As you do that, they both (stone grinding),
+and you hear this (click) sound. The first two,
+
+they shift over towards that, matching the space
+where the dust had shifted, and you hear a slight
+
+click or release sound.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. We head up the stairs.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, sure. We start walking to look for
+her room.
+
+MATT: There’s three sets of these. So you do one
+then the other.
+
+TRAVIS: Each one. One, two, three, one two three.
+
+MATT: You do it together, all three of them shift,
+and with each one you hear a click and release.
+
+You guys are in the backyard. Are you doing
+anything?
+
+SAM: I’m going to try to open the back door.
+
+MATT: The three of you are back there with the
+lock.
+
+LIAM: I cast Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: The back door is locked. Make an
+investigation check, if you’d like.
+
+SAM and MATT: Natural 20.
+
+MARISHA: It’s coming back around!
+
+MATT: I know, look at this! The back door is
+locked, it is not trapped.
+
+SAM: Okay, I will unlock it.
+
+Not so good. Nine.
+
+MATT: You go and get the tools in there and it
+gets stuck.
+
+SAM: Ulog! Ulog, I need your help.
+
+MATT: “Oh, so now you need my help. Perfect.”
+Yeah, that’ll do it. He goes ahead and takes them
+
+from you and then (click), gets it, pulls them out
+gently, hands them back to you.
+
+SAM: Does he come around the back of me?
+
+MATT: Like Ghost-style? He does so, but he does so
+begrudgingly. He’s like (grumbles). He pulls away
+
+and quickly gets it, and hands them back to you.
+“Here you go.”
+
+SAM: The pleasure was all mine.
+
+MATT: “Ugh.” Opens the door, you guys hear the
+slight creaking of a doorway down in the second
+
+floor as you’re ascending the stairs.
+
+LIAM: I grab both of her shoulders and peer in to
+see if anything glows.
+
+MATT: You glance inside. It does not appear
+anything in the vicinity– It’s a dining room. You
+
+can see the opposite side of a long table with
+chairs. Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: At a time like this?
+
+TRAVIS: Our front door creaked open when we came
+in?
+
+MATT: No, you heard a door down below. You heard
+them enter from elsewhere in the building, but you
+
+just heard a (creak).
+
+MARISHA: Do I still see Frumpkin on the wall?
+
+MATT: What?
+
+MARISHA: Do I still see Frumpkin on the wall?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try and get Frumpkin’s
+attention. “Tell Caleb to watch out for Ulog.”
+
+MATT: (meows) Jumps down into the back and goes
+and catches up to you. You glance inside. Nothing
+
+magical catches your attention in the chamber.
+
+MARISHA: Can Beau be casing and be full-on stealth
+mode watching for anything?
+
+MATT: Yes. Make a stealth check? You, as you begin
+to set up busking, one of the other guards
+
+wandering by comes by, kicks your cards a bit, and
+goes, “Hey, hey! Move along. No street busking,
+
+too late. Gala’s on.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, no, I’m on break. One on the house?
+
+MATT: “I said piss off. Keep moving.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to very slowly put my stuff
+together and fold it all up.
+
+MATT: He sits there and watches you do it.
+
+TALIESIN: Move around, yeah, but as long as I have
+an eye on the main thoroughfare.
+
+MATT: Okay. What did you roll for stealth?
+
+MARISHA: Ten. I’m going to flip my coat to the
+brown side.
+
+MATT: You walk around, as you’re casing the joint,
+as you’re watching, you keep an eye on the two
+
+guards to the front. The two guards are looking
+out, and one of them makes eye contact with you,
+
+and as you walk, he watches you walk, and you
+realize that moment that you’ve been noticed.
+
+MARISHA: I keep walking.
+
+MATT: You’re being watched from a distance.
+
+LAURA: You’ve been made!
+
+MARISHA: I keep walking and I look casual. Do I
+see any crowded areas?
+
+MATT: No, most everybody’s at the gala right now.
+You can see in the distance, you can see the
+
+party’s still going on. The music’s still playing
+from the distance. There’s still drinking and
+
+revelry muffled in the distance, the din of the
+crowd giving this low (distant cheering).
+
+MARISHA: If I get a chance, I want to try and lose
+him.
+
+MATT: He’s not following you. He’s just watching
+you as you walk. So you’re going to try and move
+
+out of his eyesight?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try and move around, yeah,
+and move out of his eyesight.
+
+MATT: You move out of his eyesight.
+
+MARISHA: Anything? Do I notice any following me?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Balls.
+
+TRAVIS: Not today.
+
+MARISHA: Ten again.
+
+MATT: Nothing seems to catch your eye, no one
+following you. You guys, you heard the creak from
+
+downstairs. What are you doing?
+
+LAURA: What’s that? Do you think somebody just got
+home?
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got to keep going. We can’t stop
+now.
+
+LAURA: Okay. We keep looking for traps up on the
+top floor and looking for a bedroom.
+
+MATT: You head to the top floor. Investigation
+check, both of you. You guys, what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: What do we see? What do we see where we
+are?
+
+MATT: There’s a long dining room table with chairs
+set up.
+
+LIAM: Doors out of here?
+
+MATT: It leads out into a foyer area.
+
+TRAVIS: 19 investigation.
+
+LAURA: Nice, 15 for me.
+
+MATT: You get to the second floor. There’s a small
+landing and a singular door. The door does not
+
+appear to be locked or trapped.
+
+SAM: Want to send Frumpkin in?
+
+LIAM: No. We move forward. You ten feet in front
+of me. I will look for magic, you will look for
+
+physical obstacles. Here we go.
+
+SAM: Great. Let’s go. (chanting) Checking for
+traps.
+
+LIAM: (chanting) Checking for magic.
+
+MARISHA: Checking for traps, checking for traps.
+
+MATT: As you guys head through the dining area
+into the main foyer, you see there is the hallway
+
+that leads into the kitchen, the staircase that
+spirals upward, and these statues that are all
+
+facing towards the stairs. The statues give off a
+magical glow, and you hear the sound of a (creak)
+
+upstairs, a door slowly creaking open. As you guys
+look into the chamber, as the door swings open,
+
+you see a darkened bedroom, equally gaudy as the
+rest of the house. You can see along the walls
+
+there are portraits of men, human, different ages,
+that are all lining it.
+
+SAM: It’s One Direction.
+
+LIAM: No!
+
+MATT: You can there’s a small chamber, an archway
+that leads into a washroom. You can see an ivory
+
+basin that’s barely visible from the little bit
+the moonlight that’s coming through, a gable
+
+window on the opposite side of the chamber.
+
+LAURA: What’s a gable window?
+
+SAM: I think you have one at your house. In your
+kitchen?
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: It protrudes a bit, arcs, then ends there.
+In the center of where that gable window is,
+
+there’s–
+
+LIAM: A kraken.
+
+MATT: A roller desk. The front has been rolled
+shut. There’s a door on each side of the gable
+
+window that leads to the balcony that you saw
+before, that looks over everything. It’s a giant
+
+glass window that looks out over the city. It has
+a beautiful view of the Tri-Spires and the gala in
+
+the distance. You can see the light emanating over
+the dark night sky.
+
+LAURA: This might be a good place to leave the
+letter.
+
+LIAM: Can you message the others?
+
+MATT: There is a large bed, and floor itself is
+covered in tiger and animal skins as a means of
+
+decor in the space. The walls themselves are a
+faint gray-blue velvet texture. It’s terrible.
+
+That’s what you have in front of you.
+
+LAURA: Should we look for traps in here?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, one more time.
+
+LAURA: One more time, we’re looking for more
+traps.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything that’s an obvious trap in the
+bedroom.
+
+LIAM: We’re moving through the foyer.
+
+SAM: I cast Message upstairs blindly, not knowing
+where they are, saying: we’re in the house, we’re
+
+coming up to help you. You can, of course, reply
+to this message.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, you’re on fire!
+
+TRAVIS: 23 investigation.
+
+LAURA: Nice. I rolled a 12 investigation. I
+respond, and I say: We’re upstairs in her bedroom
+
+or office or something.
+
+SAM: They’re upstairs! Let’s go! Ulog, they’re not
+upstairs.
+
+MATT: “Right.” You guys all head up the stairs
+together as a group. Perception check on both your
+
+guys’ points.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit.
+
+LIAM: Girl!
+
+TALIESIN: Nope.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, did you see it?!
+
+LAURA: Oh god, these lookouts!
+
+SAM: Everyone thinks that Matt is managing three
+storylines right now, but there’s actually a
+
+fourth that we don’t even know about.
+
+MARISHA: Five.
+
+MATT: Five.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys keep an eye out in the
+vicinity. Nothing seems to pique your interest.
+
+MARISHA: I switch my robe.
+
+MATT: Again? Okay. Good to know. All right. You
+guys check around. There are no traps in the
+
+vicinity. You do, as you approach the roller desk,
+it is locked. There is like an actual keyhole and
+
+there is something that is meant to unlock the
+desk.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck. There’s a key.
+
+LIAM: Nott and Caleb are still going up the
+stairs.
+
+MATT: Yeah. And Ulog– you guys all come up to the
+landing and you can see the door inside. Nothing
+
+magical in the vicinity other than what you guys
+have on yourselves.
+
+LAURA: I feel along the edge under her mattress
+and see if I can feel any keys.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I reach underneath the desk and behind
+it? Underneath it.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Yeah, grope that desk.
+
+LAURA: Anything she’s like stuck–
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+SAM: Yes, look at you!
+
+MATT: Reaching around the desk, there’s no tricks,
+no trips, no buttons or anything. You’re looking
+
+through the bed?
+
+LAURA: I’m reaching under her mattress and seeing
+if she’s stuck anything between.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: You know what kind of fold she uses in
+her undersheet. It’s like that.
+
+MATT: Nice. Reaching underneath, you find a hard
+object, a binding, and you pull– it’s a book. You
+
+slowly pull it out and take a look at it.
+
+SAM: (whispers) Tusk Love!
+
+LAURA: (laughs) Volume one.
+
+MATT: No. It’s a familiar leather tome that was an
+illegal story that was previously presented to you
+
+in a smut bookstore that had been hidden in the
+cushions of the bed. It has a place marker about
+
+two thirds of the way through.
+
+LAURA: Oh, she’s naughty.
+
+MATT: Ulog at this point is looking about the room
+as well. He rushes over to the desk where you are
+
+and he goes, “Don’t worry, I got this.” He’s going
+to go ahead and attempt to pick the lock on that.
+
+LIAM: Have the vagrants caught up yet?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys have all caught up. You’re in
+the room now.
+
+LIAM: Detect Magic wipe in this room.
+
+MATT: As you glance through, there is a faint
+magical essence that begins to appear from the
+
+desk as Ulog (click) opens it. It slides open and
+you see a faint glow from a small case about that
+
+large sitting on the desk.
+
+LIAM: Leave that box, that case, that box, be
+careful.
+
+MATT: “That’s fine.” He starts–
+
+LIAM: No, it’s not fine!
+
+MATT: No, he’s going through paperwork.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: He’s grabbing books and he’s starting to
+thumb through–
+
+TRAVIS: The priority is the letter. Let’s start
+getting that paperwork.
+
+LAURA: I run over with the letter and can we put
+it in her desk to hide it? The sealed letter.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Go ahead and place the letter in
+there.
+
+SAM: Should I open the little box again?
+
+LAURA: Oh, is there a fireplace?
+
+MATT: There is no fireplace in this room.
+
+SAM: Schmidt!
+
+TRAVIS: Aren’t we supposed to toss the room,
+aren’t we supposed to make it– no, we’re coming
+
+in and out, so–
+
+LAURA: Is there a wastebasket?
+
+MATT: You don’t see a wastebasket necessarily, no.
+There’s a small, almost like a pot of some kind
+
+that is set next to the desk that looks like it
+might be used as a receptacle occasionally.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, like a bedside pot.
+
+LIAM: What is the type of magic emanating from the
+case?
+
+MATT: That would be evocation.
+
+LIAM: Evo– (gasp) that’s bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s leave it alone. Let’s get the
+letters in and the seals. Let’s place it all.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+SAM: Suspense!
+
+LIAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18. While the shape is not familiar to you,
+the size and the length of it, you’ve seen these
+
+type of cases before. They’re usually used to
+contain important rolled pieces of parchment,
+
+specifically those that need to be protected from
+the elements because they contain enchantments on
+
+them. This is a scroll case.
+
+SAM: Ooh! (taps feet rapidly) Take it! Take it!
+
+MARISHA: No trace. Leave no trace!
+
+TRAVIS: What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: God no, god!
+
+MATT: Ulog is going through papers frantically and
+like searching through. He’s going to make an
+
+investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: No, don’t fucking compromise everything!
+
+LAURA: Caleb, I swear to fucking gods.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, the letters.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll take the– oh! I’m going to take
+the torn piece and hide it under her bed. Then I
+
+have the letter left, the Knights of Requital
+letter. Where should I put this?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, right on the desk, right? We
+should put it right there.
+
+LAURA: On the desk as well? No, we should scatter
+it around so that if certain things don’t get
+
+found– is there any other good place like, in her
+bedside tables or anything like that?
+
+MATT: There looks like a space there, it’s a
+table, it doesn’t have a drawer or anything, it’s
+
+just a table you can hide something on or put
+something underneath.
+
+LAURA: Is there clutter on the desk at all, or
+decorations and stuff?
+
+MATT: A faint bit; there’s like a candle and a
+small piece of clockwork.
+
+LAURA: I’ll fold up the Knights of Requital letter
+and hide it under her clock.
+
+MATT: Okay. At that point, Ulog goes–
+
+LAURA: Leave a little bit showing in the back, so
+that someone could find if they’re investigating.
+
+MATT: Right. There’s another thing that you see
+there. There is a small box that is wrapped in
+
+silver cord that is resting on the desk on top of
+a stack of books.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve seen those cords before. Do not
+touch that!
+
+LIAM: Also, there is no other magic around this
+room in the walls or anything, right?
+
+MATT: Not at the moment.
+
+LIAM: You’ve indicated everything that’s here.
+
+MATT: Everything that you’ve seen, yes.
+
+LAURA: Are there any windows?
+
+MATT: There are giant gable windows. You have the
+most beautiful view of the city.
+
+LAURA: Can we see anything out the window? Is
+anybody coming, is–
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Does it look like the gala is ending?
+
+SAM: Do they open, or are they picture windows?
+Wow.
+
+LAURA: Perception check?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: Okay. Well, first off, Ulog at this point is
+going through and he goes, “I found it!” He’s
+
+reading through and he’s like frantically going
+through the words. “That fucking bitch.”
+
+SAM: What does it say?
+
+MATT: He starts reading out loud as you’re
+glancing over. He says, “These are the notes on
+
+Illiana’s case. Saying that she wanted to show
+that even the most unassuming dwarf can be a
+
+cutthroat. She admits that she was innocent, but
+did it anyway just to set an example.”
+
+LAURA: So we can show this as evidence.
+
+MATT: He takes it and folds it. “Oh yeah, we can.”
+He holds it in his hand. As you glance over to the
+
+side, you can see the front gate (creak) open.
+Sorry, you see it close. (clink) You hear the
+
+sound. You guys hear this as well, though you were
+trying to keep an eye over there, you totally
+
+found yourself spacing a bit and didn’t notice
+something shifting towards the door.
+
+TALIESIN: As I’m walking away from the house, I
+start singing loudly, drunkenly (singing) I saw
+
+the moon in old, in the darkness.
+
+LAURA: Somebody just got home!
+
+TRAVIS: We got to get out of here. Let’s go!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to sing loudly as I’m slowly
+drunkenly making my way.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: We laid the letters. Touch nothing! Let’s
+go!
+
+LAURA: Run, run!
+
+MATT: “Is it all set?”
+
+LAURA: Everything’s set! Run! Out the back door!
+
+MATT: “Out the back door. All right.” You guys all
+heading outside?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m the last one to leave the room.
+
+LIAM: Yeah I grab the scroll case–
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: No!
+
+TRAVIS: I summon the falchion. I hold it right up
+to his throat.
+
+LIAM: You have to detect that I did it.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you reach for it?
+
+LIAM: Of course I did.
+
+TRAVIS: I was the last one out of the room. Put it
+back.
+
+MATT: Make a perception–
+
+LIAM: Are you in the room?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes! I was up here first!
+
+MATT: Hold on. Make a perception check. Make a
+sleight of hand check. That’s what this is for.
+
+TRAVIS: I said I was the last one in that room.
+
+MATT: You were.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck. 13.
+
+LIAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight? You notice him go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: (whoosh) Leave no trace.
+
+LIAM: No, I’m taking this.
+
+TRAVIS: Put it back, or I’ll–
+
+LIAM: I’m taking this. This isn’t worth my time,
+I’m taking this!
+
+TRAVIS: Put it down, or I’ll leave you here–
+
+SAM: I pull out my hand crossbow and I point it at
+Fjord.
+
+Fjord, put that fucking thing down!
+
+TRAVIS: (buzzing sound) My hand starts to glow
+with Eldritch Blast energy. I will fucking leave
+
+both of you here. We’re either a team, or you’re
+working for yourselves. Decide.
+
+MATT: You guys are all watching this from the
+landing.
+
+LIAM: I walk out.
+
+LAURA: Somebody’s coming.
+
+MATT: As you all slowly come to rest and look
+back, and Caleb, as you walk out, you stop at the
+
+landing next to Ulog, and Beau– oh sorry, you’re
+not there. You stop next to Ulog as, right there
+
+at the bottom of the stairs looking up, you see,
+in a very beautiful, elegant, dark green dress,
+
+the High-Richter Prucine. “Hmm. My, my. I’m glad I
+forgot my gift, or I would have missed you
+
+reprobates breaking and entering the home of a
+High-Richter. I believe that carries a life
+
+sentence in the Umber Dungeon, wouldn’t you say?
+If I might ask, what are you looking for? You
+
+have my curiosity piqued.” There’s a brief pause,
+as you’re all glancing down. Ulog holds up the
+
+paper in his hand, and he goes, “You. You put my
+wife in chains and you know she’s innocent! We
+
+got proof now! It’s over for you.” She chuckles
+and scoffs as she falls onto her back leg. “And
+
+how do you plan to deliver it? Curious. You think
+my home won’t be swarming with guards in a few
+
+minutes?” She pulls a brass bell out from under
+her pouch and rings it outside–
+
+LAURA: No– I was going to say I cast Guiding Bolt
+at her, but–
+
+MATT: It’s such a fast moment, if you didn’t have
+anything prepared, it happens too quickly. You’re
+
+like “ah!” and the bell rings. “You, stump sucker.
+I’ll bleed over the extra years of your sentence
+
+into your wife’s. That way you can both rot
+together on opposite sides of the dungeon.” Ulog
+
+looks at you all like, absolute fury and sadness
+in his eyes. You see like tears down his cheek.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Oh, I had it! Shitballs!
+
+TALIESIN: Hold Person?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I had it prepared, and that’s what I
+wanted to cast. (fake sobs)
+
+MATT: He goes and takes the paper in his hand and
+puts it in your arm, Caleb, making eye contact
+
+with you, and goes, “Promise me you’ll see her
+freed, friend.”
+
+LAURA: I cast Hold Person on her!
+
+MATT: On her?
+
+LAURA: I’m just going to do it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, do it anyway!
+
+MATT: All righty. Natural 20. She resists it. She
+goes, “What are you trying–” and Ulog goes,
+
+(roars) grabs towards his neck and runs, leaps off
+the stairs towards her and attempts to tackle her.
+
+LAURA: We should take off while he does it.
+
+MATT: You watch– yeah. He goes and (boof)! She
+falls onto the ground and onto the landing of the
+
+spiral staircase. They both slide a moment. You
+watch as she goes, “What are you–” and he grabs
+
+and pulls that orange-ish bead that he had on his
+necklace and slams it into her mouth and holds it
+
+over. There’s a moment of tension before–
+
+(explosion) A flash of white, fiery, burning
+
+light explodes, a fireball sundering the interior
+of the staircase. You all have your ears ringing.
+
+The pain’s there. The ones that are closest by
+would have been you, Caleb; I need you to roll a
+
+dexterity saving throw, please.
+
+SAM: (whispers) It was a suicide!
+
+LIAM: Seven.
+
+MATT: That’s a failure.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: Thankfully a shitty roll for you. That is 21
+points of fire damage.
+
+LIAM: Unconscious.
+
+MATT: Caleb goes unconscious onto the ground. As
+you guys all come to in the moment, you look down
+
+at the middle of the staircase: the walls are
+blackened, the staircase is currently in the
+
+process of burning, and down, you see the twisted,
+gnarled corpses of both Ulog and the High-Richter Prucine.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) We have to get out of here!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we got to go.
+
+MATT: You hear (boom).
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, help me! We start backing up,
+yeah.
+
+LAURA: I run down, I grab Caleb, and we run out
+the back door.
+
+MATT: As you head down the stairway, you can see
+the front door being hit from the opposite side.
+
+MARISHA: What do me and Molly see?
+
+MATT: You guys watch this flash of light. The
+glass windows shatter outward from the balcony.
+
+The two guards at the bottom go, “Uh!” They
+quickly throw open the gate and are now currently
+
+slamming themselves trying to barricade into the
+door.
+
+MARISHA: To the back!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. We’re going to start flanking to
+the back.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys are rushing, make a
+perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Finally.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys are rushing, you suddenly
+hear this very loud, high-pitched whine sound.
+
+You’re like (pained sound). It causes your head
+to– and you, especially glance over as you begin
+
+to surmise the direction, you look past and you
+can see the Tri-Spires there. In the direction,
+
+you see the mighty Zauber Spire, of the Halls of
+Erudition there in the distance, and you see there
+
+this growing, black, spherical mass beginning to
+emerge from the side of the lower third of the
+
+tower. You watch as it expands, the whining gets
+louder and louder.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take cover.
+
+MATT: You hear this crack sound as the black
+sphere suddenly folds into nothing, and where it
+
+was, you see all the stone that made that part of
+the tower collapse, crush, and then stumble. The
+
+tower begins to slowly shift, as you hear in the
+distance screams echoing around. The music stops.
+
+The attention of the guards suddenly shift over
+from the banging door to the tower crumbling. You
+
+watch as the tower– suddenly there’s a flash of
+blue light, and the tower stops. You see a brief
+
+shift of a force field on the bottom that holds it
+in place, partially collapsed. You see two figures
+
+take off from the top.
+
+SAM: What is going on?!
+
+MARISHA: What are the figures?!
+
+MATT: You see two other figures leap out of the
+hole from where the explosion, weird black sphere
+
+was at the base of it, and leap down about 35-40
+feet, below the tree line. You see the two figures
+
+begin coasting, flying through the air in the
+direction where they were, as bolts of energy
+
+start arcing out of their hands towards where
+those two other figures fell. The screams are
+
+getting louder now and you can see now the guards
+are starting to rush out of the various street
+
+corners. You guys are rushing around– you were
+rushing towards the back, and then slowed as this
+
+started happening. It’s distracting you. You guys
+start hearing this cacophony outside as you rush
+
+through the back door. You get to the back wall.
+What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: There’s something bigger going on other
+than us.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got to get out of here.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb’s unconscious; we’ve got to get him
+out.
+
+MARISHA: I try and–
+
+LAURA: I don’t have any spells left!
+
+TRAVIS: I have a healing potion, I’ll put it in
+Caleb’s mouth.
+
+MARISHA: I try and get that back door open and try
+and get them out.
+
+MATT: You get that door open, you guys start
+rushing out there, you heal up Caleb. You come to
+
+consciousness being dragged, your feet grinding.
+
+LIAM: I was doing death saves and it was not going
+well. Just for shits and giggles!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Alone upstairs, I pick up the scrolls and put
+them in my pocket.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, the house is on fire now. God
+damn.
+
+SAM: I’m going to open the gable windows, if they
+open, and jump out them.
+
+MATT: Well, the windows are shattered, the
+explosion–
+
+SAM: I jump out the windows and scatter as far as
+I can.
+
+MATT: Make an acrobatics check followed by a
+stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit.
+
+SAM: Ooh, acrobatics, not great. Ten. Stealth,
+16.
+
+MATT: Well, you reduce the damage you take by one
+die, so you only take two points of bludgeoning
+
+damage. As you land, your ankle twists, and you
+tumble and roll and get up. What’s your stealth
+
+check?
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: Using the chaos that way and the guards that
+are now out in the middle of the street, you land
+
+behind them. One of them goes to turn in your
+direction, and you dart behind the wall, leap over
+
+the side and arc around to meet the rest of the
+party, as you all slowly begin to climb over the
+
+back wall, where Beau and Molly are waiting for
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got to get out of here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: That went so bad!
+
+MARISHA: I think we were a bigger distraction.
+
+SAM: What’s going on?
+
+MARISHA: I think there’s something else going.
+
+SAM: Did we do this?!
+
+MARISHA: No, we didn’t!
+
+SAM: It’s Molly, isn’t it? Molly did it!
+
+LAURA: We’re running to the sewers!
+
+MATT: Running to the sewers? Everyone make a
+stealth check as you’re trying to make your way
+
+through there. People are now starting to run back
+to their homes, you can see people running and
+
+screaming now, dressed in full attire for the
+gala, leaving their masks behind, screaming bloody murder.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+LIAM: Five.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Give it to me!
+
+TRAVIS: Bunch of teens and a five!
+
+MATT: I know, that’s okay. So a couple of bad
+rolls, but for the most part, you guys averaged
+
+okay. Thankfully with the chaos, and the way you
+are dressed, you manage to push through and mingle
+
+well, it wasn’t too hard. You make your way
+through the town, you can see the tower still
+
+being held in place and the two figures that you
+saw gliding before? As this is happening, and
+
+you’re rushing through, you see a few other bolts
+hit, a large bolt of lightning grind down in the
+
+distance, before eventually they both begin to
+peer over and are now looking up and down the
+
+streets. As you make your way back towards the
+alley, over by where the gala is, you see a
+
+shadowed figure dart out from behind, and a bolt
+of lightning strike. There’s a detonation of
+
+burned ozone as the figure falls to the ground,
+smoking.
+
+MARISHA: I go over to the figure, I go over to the
+figure.
+
+MATT: As you walk over to the figure, you see one
+of the flying entities floating down. You can see
+
+now this robed mage figure, with a staff in hand,
+wearing a large ornamental mantle, long grayish
+
+hair, is now gliding down in the direction of the
+dark figure of the ground.
+
+SAM: Male or female?
+
+MATT: Male.
+
+LAURA: Steer clear of lightning people!
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys see this as you come
+around–
+
+LIAM: Age?
+
+MATT: The age roughly, from this distance from
+what you can see, its later. Older age, 70s human,
+
+if human, but you can’t quite get the details. It
+starts shouting, “One has fallen. Find the other,”
+
+and coasts back off, doing a pass, looking through
+the various streets.
+
+MARISHA: Once he’s gone, can I wait to–
+
+MATT: Well, the guards have rushed forwards and
+grabbed the body and are now dragging it back
+
+towards the tower.
+
+MARISHA: What does that body look like, though?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on.
+
+MARISHA: Big money– (screams in anger). Fucking
+shit, what is with these fucking rolls! 18. Sorry,
+
+sorry, no, that’s super wrong.
+
+MATT: Aw, 18!
+
+MARISHA: I saw an 8 and I was adding shit! 11,
+sorry, 11.
+
+MATT: All you can see is the cloak. The cloak is
+blocking most of the body, you see a hand behind
+
+that’s like a leather gauntlet except for fingers
+exposed. The fingers appear to be– the glove or
+
+design of it are almost like they were dipped in
+blue. Like there’s some sort of a blue tipped
+
+glove as its dragged back. That’s all the details
+you can make out, unfortunately, as it’s being
+
+pulled away off the street. The guards are now
+swarming, people are trying to get back to their
+
+houses. People are swarming the gate out of the
+Tri-Spire, and the guards are trying to hold them
+
+back, calm them down, and it’s nearing a riot at
+this point. You guys make your way over to the
+
+edge of the sewers, begin to look around for a
+moment where nobody’s watching, and one by one
+
+make your way down into the darkness, closing it
+behind you. As you all get down into the quiet of
+
+the underground, there’s a moment where you can
+hear the distant muffling of movement. Footsteps,
+
+making their way back and forth across the
+alleyway, other yells and screams, information in
+
+the distance, far too far away for you to make out
+the details of what’s being said. What do you do?
+
+TRAVIS: Those men were flying!
+
+MARISHA: Those men were super powerful.
+
+SAM: We need to get far away from here.
+
+LAURA: We need to get back to the other side. Oh
+my gosh.
+
+MARISHA: Who were they targeting?
+
+LAURA: They were targeting– I don’t know!
+
+LIAM: Not us.
+
+LAURA: Are you sure they weren’t looking for us?
+
+LIAM: No, I don’t think so.
+
+TALIESIN: This was something entirely different.
+
+LIAM: We need to go find a shitty place and lay
+low.
+
+MARISHA: He was in blue, his gauntlets were dipped
+in blue.
+
+LAURA: Like the Cobalt people?
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get back to the Leaky Tap. We’ve
+seen the power of the Dwendalian Empire. That was
+
+more than anything I’ve ever seen, we’ve got to
+get back.
+
+LAURA: I’ve never seen someone fly before.
+
+TRAVIS: Neither have I. Lightning, it turned him
+almost into ash. Let’s get back, we can talk about
+
+it when we’re in our rooms safe.
+
+LAURA: The High-Richter’s dead, you guys. That
+wasn’t part of the plan!
+
+SAM: And Ulog too. I think I was sort of mean to
+him.
+
+TALIESIN: What happened?
+
+MARISHA: I tried to get Ulog to stay and he didn’t
+listen.
+
+TRAVIS: Ulog sacrificed himself. He killed himself
+and the Richter.
+
+MATT: Caleb, at this point you glance down and
+you’re still clutching, in your fingers–
+
+LIAM: The stone?
+
+MATT: No, the paper that Ulog left behind.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: Are you guys making your way back?
+
+TRAVIS: Hell yeah.
+
+MATT: You’re heading back through the sewers the
+direction you came.
+
+LIAM: We are walking away.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Be aware of the rat balloons.
+
+MATT: Barely sneaking away from the insanity of
+the district, you walk through the darkened sewers
+
+down the same familiar path that you walked to
+make your exit, coming up on one of the false
+
+junctions, where the left side of it is partially
+collapsed but the right side continues to where
+
+the T-section is. Beauregard, Caleb and Molly and
+Jester, because you guys all have the higher
+
+passive perceptions, you begin to notice this area
+where there’s no water that drains down the centre
+
+groove of this part, you see spatters of liquid.
+
+LAURA: Does it look dark?
+
+LIAM: What is it?
+
+MATT: Well, there’s no light in here currently.
+
+LIAM: Ah. (foomph), Dancing Lights.
+
+MATT: Dancing Lights open up the area here as you
+hit the intersection. You see it is dark and red.
+
+MARISHA: Blood.
+
+MATT: It is spatters of blood, and as you glance
+up right there at the intersection, you see a
+
+figure, one hand against the wall, breathing
+heavily. You glance towards it and take a moment
+
+as the light globes are now shifting out to light
+the space. You see a humanoid figure, seemingly
+
+male in outline, adorned in jet black, almost
+insect-like leather armour that protrudes in large
+
+sweeping hooks at the joints - the elbow joints,
+the shoulders. A helmet that’s form-fit black
+
+leather and onyx studs wraps around their head. It
+looks demonic, the brow plate sweeping backwards
+
+into rear facing horns. Their other hand is
+dangling, clutching a cannonball-sized,
+
+twelve-sided dodecahedron shape, about that big,
+that has a handle on each side. It’s emitting a
+
+dull undulating grey glow.
+
+TRAVIS: I cast Armor of Agathys on myself.
+
+MATT: As you cast Armor of Agathys on yourself,
+the figure, which you now see is the source of the
+
+blood, looks heavily wounded and is breathing
+heavily. The lights now up, its head (creaks)
+
+turns towards you and you hear a voice say
+(guttural speech). Does anybody here speak
+
+Undercommon?
+
+TRAVIS: Undercommon, anyone?
+
+LIAM: I cast Comprehend Languages.
+
+MATT: What are the components of that one?
+
+LIAM: That is verbal, somatic, and material. A
+pinch of soot of salt which I throw out in front of me.
+
+MATT: As you begin to make the incantation, the
+figure pulls their hand away and draws this
+
+horrible, gnarly-looking hooked blade from the
+sheath, and goes (snarls) and rushes in towards
+
+you. And that’s where we’re going to pick up next
+week.
+
+(yelling)
+
+TALIESIN: No!
+
+LAURA: Everything went to shit!
+
+TRAVIS: It went perfectly, ha!
+
+MARISHA: That was a Crick!
+
+SAM: What’s a Crick?
+
+LIAM: People from Xhorhas!
+
+SAM: I thought that was a story.
+
+LIAM: No!
+
+MARISHA: Crick assassins!
+
+LIAM: Trust the porn!
+
+ALL: Trust the porn!
+
+MATT: Always trust the porn.
+
+MARISHA: Edubation! That’s why!
+
+SAM: I should’ve been more edubated.
+
+TALIESIN: You would be doing better if you
+edubated every night.
+
+MATT: There were a few chances for you guys to see
+High-Richter Prucine arriving, but you kept
+
+rolling low perception on the outside–
+
+MARISHA: They were fucking balls!
+
+MATT: –and I was like, “All right she’s going to
+get the drop on you guys.” There were so many
+
+different ways that could’ve gone. But it made for
+an interesting story!
+
+TALIESIN: That was a clusterfuck. That was
+amazing. You’re all terrible people.
+
+LIAM: Edubate once a day.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh.
+
+SAM: What?! The Crick–
+
+LIAM: Oh Fjord, it is over. Bromance is over!
+
+TALIESIN: I cannot wait for this shit! I am in
+this shit! Finally, I’m so excited.
+
+MATT: Aw, man.
+
+LAURA: It’s so good.
+
+MATT: Guys, that was awesome, well done.
+
+TRAVIS: And Nott took it anyway!
+
+MARISHA: I know, she did!
+
+LIAM: She’s dead. The owner is dead.
+
+MARISHA: Well, now! At the moment, though, there’s
+no excuse.
+
+MATT: They don’t trust people that don’t look
+trustworthy like you, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Goddamn it.
+
+MARISHA: Of course. Doesn’t mean they’re not
+shitty selfish ones.
+
+LIAM: They are shitty selfish ones.
+
+MATT: All righty guys, thank you so much for
+watching. We’ll pick this up next week on
+
+Thursday. Talks Machina next week on Tuesday about
+this episode. Look forward to seeing you guys who
+
+are coming to C2E2. Until then, have a wonderful
+night, have a wonderful weekend,
+
+and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+[no audio]
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello, and welcome to tonight’s episode of
+Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice
+
+actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.
+Before we jump into tonight’s game, we have some
+
+quick announcements to get over, but welcome
+regardless.
+
+LAURA: To get over?
+
+MATT: To get over the announcements, you know, to
+make it work. First and foremost, we have our
+
+fantastic returning sponsor for tonight, our
+friends for this campaign, D&D Beyond.
+
+ALL: D&D Beyond!
+
+MATT: They’ve been awesome and, Sam, you have a
+few things to say?
+
+SAM: I’m ready. In honor of our impending trip to
+Chicago, I’m dedicating this ad for D&D Beyond to
+
+the Second City. One disclaimer: like all accents
+I do, my Chicago accent is “harrible.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: (in Chicago accent) Hey there, Grabowskis.
+Everybody from Wrigleyville to Lincoln Park is
+
+talking about the D&D Beyond. Whether you’re
+checking out the Bean, riding the Red Line, or
+
+getting a pop at a Blackhawks game, you’re always
+thinking about the Dungeons and the Dragons, and
+
+right now, if you enable content sharing on the
+D&D Beyond and one of your pals has a Master Tier
+
+subscription, your whole campaign crew can share
+all the materials and the content, not just the
+
+DM. Anybody with a Master subscription can do it,
+so jump on the “L,” take the Eisenhower to the
+
+Kennedy, throw back a PBR or a 312 and grab a deep
+dish on me, because life just got a little better
+
+with the D&D Beyond. Oh, and don’t forget to call
+dibs on the Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes, out next
+
+month. Pre-order yours on the D&D Beyond site and
+get all kinds of exclusive stuff and junk. Go Bears!
+
+MATT: Nailed it. Nailed it in one. Thank you, Sam,
+and thank you, awesome folks at D&D Beyond.
+
+LAURA: And sorry, Chicago.
+
+SAM: Sausage!
+
+MATT: There’s a lot of options, lot of–
+
+TALIESIN: Make sure Sam exits the plane first. Sam
+exits the plane first.
+
+MATT: All right. Moving on. Reminder, if you have
+Amazon Prime, you can go ahead and combine that
+
+with your Twitch account for Twitch Prime, which
+allows you to subscribe, for free, to a Twitch
+
+channel of your choice every month. It doesn’t
+cost you anything and you get to support your
+
+favorite channel out there, so check it out if you
+haven’t yet. Critical Recap of course is now
+
+available. Our fantastic Dani Carr hosts a recap
+of the campaign two so far. It updates every week
+
+with the episodes. If you haven’t seen the one
+that was earlier today, actually at the start of
+
+the art reel, well, you’re probably going to be
+out of place if you didn’t watch last episode, but
+
+you can check out recaps or send it to your
+friends who want to get updated into the campaign
+
+quickly and watch live with us, if they want to,
+to check out Critical Recap. Talks Machina, our
+
+talk after-show about this show is every Tuesday
+at 7:00pm Pacific, and the episode about tonight’s
+
+episode will be next Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific
+time. Our fantastic host, Brian W. Foster, and a
+
+few of us will be there to join and talk about the
+events of this evening, so check it out then on
+
+Twitch and Project Alpha. We are, of course, all
+leaving tomorrow to fly to the fantastic city of
+
+Chicago for C2E2, so looking forward to seeing a
+bunch of you Critters out there for that. We’ll
+
+have panels and signings, it’s going to be great.
+We’re excited, and we’ll see you guys there in a
+
+couple days.
+
+LAURA: Maybe have chosen too many dice tonight.
+
+TRAVIS: What were the words you just used?
+
+LAURA: I just– okay.
+
+SAM: There’s no such thing!
+
+TRAVIS: There’s hope.
+
+MATT: Vox Machina: Origins, issue six, the last
+comic of this six-issue run, finishes soon. The
+
+date is April 18th. April 18th will be the release
+of the final issue of this arc.
+
+SAM: We all die in it.
+
+MATT: Spoilers. Yeah, it’s a bit anachronistic
+with the campaign, it’s weird. The print edition
+
+will be available as an anthology of the entire
+six-issue run soon. We’ll have details on that as
+
+soon as they’re available, but on April 18th,
+check out the final issue of the run. I hope you
+
+enjoy it. All right, let’s see. Other than that,
+we have a fantastic charity, 826LA. Definitely
+
+check it out if you haven’t had a chance. 826 is
+all over the country. They do great work for
+
+teaching creative writing for young adults and
+children. They do fantastic work. Check it out if
+
+you haven’t. See if you can volunteer, or if not,
+help donate. They’re amazing. And I believe that’s
+
+all for tonight’s update, which means that brings
+us to tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off, the
+Mighty Nein had gotten themselves involved in a
+
+number of various factions in the city of Zadash
+and decided to buy in to aid the Knights of
+
+Requital in their attempt to get one of the
+various powerful lords of the city and the
+
+High-Richter, both seemingly corrupt individuals,
+ousted. You had planned forgeries that you were
+
+going to place in their homes at night during an
+offsite gala in the Tri-Spires, not too far from
+
+where your breaking and entering was to occur.
+Bringing Ulog along, one of the members of the
+
+Knights of Requital, you snuck into Lord Sutan’s
+house, managed to avoid a number of the pitfalls,
+
+traps, and contents within, going straight to the
+bedroom, where you battled the Rug of Smothering,
+
+knocking a couple of you out, but found within a
+couple of interesting items that you gathered, and
+
+the wax seal you needed to complete the forgeries
+to make this loop come together. From there, you
+
+immediately went across over to the High-Richter’s
+home. You managed to– well, the two of you
+
+managed to obscure yourselves to look like the
+High-Richter and one of her guards, went right
+
+into the abode. The rest of you met from the
+outside, and within the interior of the bedroom,
+
+you discovered Ulog had found papers that proved
+that his wife was innocent and that the
+
+High-Richter was basically making an example out
+of her, as well as discovering a scroll case that
+
+led to a brief confrontation. After placing the
+document required, you went to leave right as the
+
+High-Richter seemed to have arrived. She had a
+seemingly confident demeanor as she rung the bell
+
+for her guards, and at that moment, Ulog,
+realizing that this was his chance to get
+
+vengeance when no one else was taking a stand,
+rushed her, placed a bead within her mouth that
+
+caused a Fireball to detonate, killing them both,
+destroying most of the torso of the High-Richter
+
+and Ulog together. At that point, you all began to
+radically find a way to flee; the window shattered
+
+out from the gable windows at the top floor. You
+heard the guards trying to bash in the front door
+
+to make their way in. After fleeing outside, you
+heard this strange sound as this large, dark
+
+sphere seemed to emerge from the distant Zauber
+Spire of the Halls of Erudition. It seemed to
+
+collapse in itself, causing the base of the tower
+to lose structure, and it began to tip over,
+
+stopping midway, seemingly by some sort of force
+field holding it in place. You watched as two
+
+darkened figures leapt from the tower, while two
+other ones began to glide off the top of the
+
+tower, firing bolts of energy in various forms of
+magical attack in their direction. Using the
+
+chaos, you all fled through the night, darkness,
+back towards the sewers where you came. You
+
+managed to watch one of the two dark figures be
+slaughtered on the street and be gathered by some
+
+shaded, older figure who was one of the flying
+mages who was giving chase. You all ducked down
+
+into the sewer system, and began to notice a trail
+of blood amongst the dried sewer run. Putting some
+
+lights up ahead of you at this intersection, which
+you had been previously before, you immediately
+
+noticed there was a darkened figure of black
+leather armor with various horns and hooks at the
+
+joints, chitinous insect-like in its appearance.
+The creature seemed to notice your presence and
+
+called out in a language you couldn’t understand.
+In an attempt to cast a spell to understand the
+
+language, the creature seemed to deem it as an
+aggressive stance and then rushed you. And that’s
+
+where we left off, so to begin, I’d like you all
+to roll initiative.
+
+ALL: No!
+
+LAURA: That was so fast!
+
+TRAVIS: I am ready, my body is ready.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, I chose poorly.
+
+SAM: Yes, you did. You rushed the process.
+
+LAURA: I did.
+
+MATT: All right, so, 25 to 20?
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21? All right. Let’s see here. 20 to 15?
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+TALIESIN: 14.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+LIAM: 11.
+
+MATT: All right, so we have Molly, then we have
+Caleb and Nott together. All right. Who’s next? I
+
+guess I should say. What’d you roll? All righty.
+At the top, we’ve got Jester.
+
+TRAVIS: Even in love, we are close. Wait, in game.
+In love? Fuck it.
+
+MATT: All right. So. Top of the combat round, as
+it pulls its jagged blade out of its side and
+
+darts forward in the direction of the group, Beau,
+you actually have the first reaction. Seeing this
+
+happen, you immediately jump into action, and
+what’s your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Anyone speak Dark-Shady-Guy-in-a-Sewer?
+
+MATT: Don’t have time to react. What are you
+doing?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to get out the rope and
+climbing hook that I had from earlier, and I’m
+
+going to say, Jester, catch! Oh, wait, you’re
+super last. Okay, never mind. I’m going to rush to
+
+him and see if I can–
+
+MATT: You look over at Jester, who is holding
+Caleb up and is not even paying attention. You’re
+
+like, “Shit!”
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to rush to him and see if I can
+grapple? I’m so bad at grappling.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you? Is it strength-based? Oh.
+
+MATT: It’s athletics-based.
+
+MARISHA: My athletics is okay.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not bad.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to see if I can take the
+grappling hook and swing it around and grapple.
+
+MATT: All righty. So go ahead and make your
+athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, big money. Okay, that’s all right.
+16.
+
+MATT: You actually beat him. Wow. That was a five
+plus ten on that one. That was a 15. So you wrap
+
+the rope around and, immediately, it’s grappled in
+place, unable to move. Although its arms are free,
+
+it cannot seem to pull itself away from you. So
+that’s your action– that’s your attack.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to see if I can do a blow to
+his temple with my elbow.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Roll for an attack.
+
+MARISHA: This is just an off-handed attack, right?
+16.
+
+MATT: 16 does not hit. You swing, and the head
+ducks out of the way. It swings wide and it glides
+
+against the edge of the leather mask, but makes no
+impact.
+
+TRAVIS: 16 does not hit?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: 16 does not hit.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn, Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you hear that?
+
+SAM: No, none of it.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s very important.
+
+SAM: Did Beau make out with the Crick?
+
+TRAVIS: 16 does not hit.
+
+LAURA: 16 doesn’t hit him?
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got him wrapped and grappled.
+
+SAM: Wow, that was fast.
+
+MATT: The dark figure, arm looking at you, and
+looking out in the middle of the space,
+
+concentrates for a second, puts its hand without
+the blade in it– actually, it would be this one,
+
+because it’s right-handed– focuses for a second.
+As it does, you watch as this tiny bead of
+
+darkness appears in the center of the area and
+expands until a sphere of pitch-black light
+
+completely engulfs this space, and none of you can
+see into it or past it. You are blind within this
+
+sphere, and you guys see the whole hallway, it
+consumes the creature and Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Neat trick.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, darkvision in that is still blind if
+you go in there, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. We could hit Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to.
+
+MATT: That’s going to end its turn. That brings us
+to Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to head up to the other side
+of the void. Yeah, I’m going to sit there. I’m
+
+going to start one of the blades up, and I’m going
+to hold my attack for anything that crosses my path.
+
+MATT: Okay. So if anything comes within range that
+you want to attack–
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, I’ll say the minute I see
+something, it’s Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: The minute you see something, Vicious
+Mockery, got it. Okay, all right, so you draw your
+
+blade out, you take the damage, and you prepare
+Vicious Mockery. Got it. All right. That ends your
+
+turn, Molly. Caleb and Nott.
+
+SAM: We’re up already?
+
+MATT: You guys are up on the same turn.
+
+TRAVIS AND MARISHA: It’s literally right here.
+
+TRAVIS: The Crick is right between these two?
+Beauregard and Molly?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you go first.
+
+SAM: Me?!
+
+LAURA: Don’t call it a Crick, it’s insulting, it’s
+a derogatory term.
+
+SAM: The Xhorhasian? Okay. Uh. Shit, I don’t know. Why
+are we attacking this person?
+
+LAURA: Because he attacked us first.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s covered in hooked armor and running
+at us aggressively.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s subdue him and talk to him!
+
+LIAM: Okay, so I will go– I will destroy the
+initiative ranking! I will send my globules of
+
+light into the darkness to see if it has any
+effect.
+
+MATT: Okay. As the globules go in, they blink
+out.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! His spell is higher than your
+spell!
+
+LIAM: And then I’m going to back up–
+
+MATT: Did you send all of the globules in there?
+
+LIAM: No, let’s say two of them.
+
+MATT: Okay. The two blink out. The two remain
+there, but the other two you sense that they’re no
+
+longer in existence. You have two globes lighting
+up the area now. It’s low light in here.
+
+LIAM: At the same time I will back up my full
+movement while Frumpkin runs into the edge of that
+
+darkness.
+
+MATT: All right. Frumpkin peeks in. All right.
+Cool. That ends your turn. Nott, what are you doing?
+
+SAM: I’m looking around. I’m not seeing a lot of
+attacking going on. They don’t speak our language.
+
+Shit. Maybe they speak– No, I don’t know. All
+right. I will cast Message, and I will point into
+
+the darkness at the creature. I’ll say: Do not
+fight us! We are no fans of the empire either! You
+
+can reply to this message. Do I sense a reply?
+
+MATT: You do not sense a reply. But for the hell
+of it, go ahead and make a persuasion.
+
+SAM: That’s a two minus three.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know.
+
+SAM: Oh no, just a two minus one, Matt. I’m still
+in the black.
+
+MATT: Perfect. Finishing, Nott, do you want to
+move anywhere?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ll go front and left. Is there
+anywhere to hide?
+
+MATT: Not in this area, no. You’d have to get over
+here to hide.
+
+SAM: Then I will bonus action dash over there.
+
+MATT: There you go. Good to know. That finishes
+Nott and Caleb’s turn. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Me?
+
+MATT: You.
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh! Okay. I’m going to prep the spell
+Hold Person and I’m going to wait to cast it until
+
+I can see him.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know. You’re prepping the
+spell. That ends your turn. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+Unless you want to move at all.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to move across the sewer across
+from Fjord.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to know. Fjord, you have Armor of
+Agathys on. You cast that reactionary last time,
+
+so what are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I look and say: Everyone stay here.
+I’m going to see how far this darkness goes. I’m
+
+going to double dash and run down 60 feet in that
+direction, hopefully not running into anybody.
+
+I’ll stop if I come into the light.
+
+MATT: All right. You stop as soon as you come to
+the other side. As you rush past, there’s a
+
+(swoosh) in the darkness.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, you get cut!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s okay.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 25 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Pray tell, it doth hit. That’s okay, I’ve
+got the armor on. I’ve got that armor, boo.
+
+MATT: It did roll very high.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s all right, he’s going to take it.
+
+MATT: So that is ten points of slashing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, all ten?
+
+MATT: But he takes damage back, right?
+
+TRAVIS: He does take ten ice damage back, yeah.
+
+MATT: As you run by, the blade strikes. You manage
+to feel it glide off your ice armor and you feel
+
+the blast of ice energy. You, Beau, as you’re holding
+the rope, feel this spray of dark cold and you
+
+wince at it in the darkness.
+
+MARISHA: I hate these rides!
+
+MATT: But that gets you on the other side.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, for a bonus action, can I make a
+perception check to see if there’s anybody on the
+
+other side of the tunnel?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. You glance over in the area. In the
+darkness, the light’s fading at this point, but
+
+you have darkvision. You don’t see any other
+figure.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I about-face and wait on the other
+side of this?
+
+MATT: Sure. Waiting on the opposite side. You got
+it. All right. That brings it up to the top. Beau,
+
+you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I still have him restrained. I
+can’t see or do shit. Still holding onto the rope,
+
+can I full-on football tackle him and try and push
+him out of this dark cloud?
+
+MATT: Try and shove, you mean?
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Well, if you have someone grappled, you can
+pull them at half movement.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I’ll do that, then. I’m going to
+start, with the rope wrapped around, start like a
+
+lifeguard, backing out.
+
+MATT: This way or this way?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, towards Fjord. I felt Fjord go by,
+so I want to try and go towards Fjord.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you manage to push it out of it,
+right there, and you’re both outside of the darkness.
+
+MARISHA: Look what I caught!
+
+TRAVIS: You caught a big one!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah I did!
+
+LAURA: Oh wait, he’s outside the darkness?
+
+TALIESIN: But we can’t see him.
+
+LAURA: Oh, but he’s across from me, through the
+darkness.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s through the darkness.
+
+MARISHA: Help me subdue him.
+
+TRAVIS: I will when it’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Beau, that’s your movement. You still have
+an action if you want.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do another crack to the
+forehead with my off-handed attack. That’s a
+
+natural one. No! Wait. No, it is. I thought it was
+a seven. Thought it might be a seven.
+
+MATT: I’ll say as you swing, he manages to loosen
+the grip a little bit and the rope comes a little
+
+bit loose. If it attempts to break your grapple,
+it’s going to have advantage on it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: At the beginning of its turn, it’s now
+grappled up in front of you. It pulls its blade
+
+with both of its hands and its head turns back
+towards you, now that you’re the one who’s been
+
+pushing it out, and it begins to unleash two heavy
+strikes against you. That’s another 25 and that’s
+
+going to be an 18.
+
+MARISHA: Both hit.
+
+MATT: Both hit, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Wooshed!
+
+MARISHA: Ouchies.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be 20 points of slashing
+damage from the two strikes. As the first blade
+
+impacts across the front of Beau’s chest, there’s
+this strange grayish flash of energy that seems to
+
+scatter from the impact of the blow, and it
+congeals off to the side, and you watch as this,
+
+for lack of a better term, a shadow clone of the
+creature appears off to the side, behind Fjord, there.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: It looks semi-corporeal. It’s still holding
+the blade, it has the same armor, but it’s
+
+somewhat translucent and made of this dark grayish
+shadow energy.
+
+MARISHA: Ow.
+
+MATT: Also, Beau, you feel the second blow that
+hits you, it seems to carve a letter or some kind
+
+of a symbol on your chest as it pulls back, and as it
+does, you feel this burning singe, and you look
+
+down. There’s this glowing brand on your chest.
+It’s not burned into the skin, it appears to be
+
+magically placed, but you have a brand on your
+chest that you don’t recognize.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, it’s like Hex or something.
+
+MATT: That’s going to end its turn. Molly, you’re
+up.
+
+TALIESIN: Have I heard any of this happening
+or–?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’ve heard them impact. It’s just
+darkness, but you hear yelling and shouting and
+
+then talking back and forth and then Beau taking
+damage and this strange shifting of energy in the
+
+distance. What are you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for gods’ sakes. I am going to run
+straight through the–
+
+MATT: 30. You get to the edge of it. You can
+barely peek out. You can continue to move, but
+
+it’ll be your action to continue to move.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m going to stay at the edge of
+this and I’m going to use Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to know.
+
+TALIESIN: (demonic voice) Stop where you are!
+
+MATT: That is wisdom, right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: That’s an 18.
+
+TRAVIS: Does Molly do birthday parties for kids?
+
+MATT: I’m pretty sure that passes.
+
+TALIESIN: That passes, yeah.
+
+MATT: The Vicious Mockery seems to be unaffected
+by your demonic voice. Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! We have to talk to him, you
+guys. We’re not going to beat him.
+
+MATT: He looks pretty wounded already, like
+bleeding out the side. It’s your choice in what
+
+you want to do. But he’s really powerful, but
+really hurt. That finishes your turn, Molly?
+
+Caleb, Nott, what’re you doing?
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s us again?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin will run forward out of the
+darkness.
+
+MATT: This way?
+
+LIAM: Towards the action. Yeah, and poke his head
+out, actually, closer to– He’ll come out between
+
+Molly’s legs. Peek right out there. I’m sitting
+down in the muck in the sewer and I’m now watching
+
+and listening to use Comprehend Languages through
+Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: Okay, sounds good.
+
+TRAVIS: Non-lethal damage!
+
+MATT: All right, Jester.
+
+SAM: Oh wait, it’s me.
+
+MATT: Oh no, it hasn’t come yet. You’re right
+
+SAM: Although I don’t really know what I’m going
+to do. Who do I still see? Just Caleb
+
+way in the back. Jester–
+
+MATT: You see Caleb and Jester there and this curl
+of darkness–
+
+SAM: Do I hear anything?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you hear all the sounds happening and
+the shouting and the impact–
+
+SAM: But I don’t know where they’re coming from?
+
+MATT: You hear them around that corner. That’s all
+you know.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go around the darkness. Around
+it, counter-clockwise, to see if I can see around
+
+the other side without going into it.
+
+MATT: That’s as far as you can get with your
+movement. You could bonus if you want to move
+
+around.
+
+SAM: I will bonus dash around, just to look.
+
+MATT: From there you can see your friends. You can
+see Fjord. You can see the creature. You can see
+
+the shadow form out of the side. You can see Beau,
+with a hint of Molly poking out of the darkness.
+
+SAM: All right, I’m going to shoot the shadow
+form.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it. Roll for an attack.
+
+SAM: (yelps) 20.
+
+MATT: A 20 hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Sneak attack?
+
+MATT Sure. Technically, yeah, because these are
+considered one space, there.
+
+SAM: Okay. 16.
+
+MATT: Okay, you watch as it dissipates. The impact
+hits it, and you see it react slightly, and then
+
+vanish into vapor.
+
+SAM: It was all in my imagination!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That’s it. That’s all I got.
+
+MATT: All right, Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: I have a question, because I’ve never
+prepped a spell and then not used it. Does that
+
+use the spell?
+
+MATT: It does.
+
+LAURA: That’s balls!
+
+MATT: You cast the spell and then hold the very
+last moment, waiting to release it, and then if it
+
+doesn’t happen, the spell expends. I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: That is rough. That was a second level.
+Okay, can I go and see what’s going on around the
+
+big black spot?
+
+MATT: Sure. (counting) 30. You can just manage to
+see Nott at the corner of it, and that’s about as
+
+much as you can see. The rest of it’s just
+darkness still encompassing the corner.
+
+LAURA: I guess I’ll use my dash to go forward and
+see what’s going on.
+
+MATT: 25 or 30? You could get either of those
+spaces there, if you want to.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go right there.
+
+MATT: Right there, all right. So now you can see
+it, but that’s your movement and your action.
+
+LAURA: (screams)
+
+SAM: (screams) I know, right? This is crazy!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Does that end your turn?
+
+LAURA: I guess so.
+
+MATT: All right. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I–
+
+LAURA: Oh wait, but I have a bonus action.
+
+MATT: You do have a bonus, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to use– wait, wait–
+Healing Word on Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, please.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast that. Okay, so that is
+1d4.
+
+SAM: What will you sing to her? Oh, wait.
+
+LAURA: Nope. Whoa. (childish voice) Three plus
+three is six points.
+
+MARISHA: That’s great, thank you. Much better.
+Ouchies.
+
+LIAM: I like that an eight-year-old boy delivered
+those points.
+
+MATT: All right, Beau, it’s your turn. No, it’s
+Fjord’s turn, sorry.
+
+MARISHA: No, that’s right, Fjord’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I run up behind the assassin and,
+using the blunt end of the falchion, the non-edged
+
+side, can I try and strike non-lethal damage into
+the back of his head?
+
+MATT: You can. Go for it, roll for an attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Do I get advantage because he’s bound?
+Grappled?
+
+MATT: You are technically on opposite sides, so I
+would say flanked. I’d allow it.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Barnacle blow.
+
+TRAVIS: Barnacle blow. 18 plus–
+
+LAURA: Did you know barnacles scream when you
+scrape them off of things?
+
+SAM: No. That’s not true.
+
+LAURA: No, they do, they go (screams)–
+
+MATT: 24. That hits. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, now, non-lethal–
+
+MATT: Same damage. If you bring it to zero, they
+go unconscious, not bleeding out.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. Whack! You swing across
+and slam it from the back of its armor and
+
+(grunts) you hear this exhale of pain out of its
+throat. As it hits, it spins around and you watch
+
+as that same energy that came out earlier when it
+struck Beau, the blow that you hit it dissipates
+
+into the same energy and then forms into another
+shadow version of it behind you.
+
+LAURA: Is he still taking damage?
+
+MATT: He’s taken damage. He’s getting hurt, he’s
+hurt pretty bad. Does that finish your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it does.
+
+MATT: All right. Top of the round, Beau, you’re
+up.
+
+MARISHA: Oh God. Okay–
+
+TRAVIS: He’s not hurt enough, apparently.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to first try and tighten my
+grip on him.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: And can I try and bulldoze him down to
+the ground and pin him to the ground?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you need a feat, the Grappler
+feat, to then pin somebody.
+
+MARISHA: Cool. I’m going to also try and do
+non-lethal damage and knock him on the head.
+
+MATT: Go for it, roll for an attack.
+
+MARISHA: Two attacks. Yeah, first one’s a natural
+19. Second one is another natural one.
+
+MATT: The 19 does hit.
+
+TRAVIS: What about the one?
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, 1d8 plus four is–
+
+TRAVIS: 12.
+
+MARISHA: 12, thank you.
+
+MATT: 12? Nice. So as you crack across the head,
+you watch the helmet slip a little bit. You can
+
+see a little bit of the jaw beneath the mask now
+and the skin itself has a dark blue, purple color.
+
+You see white teeth that have pretty prominent
+incisors visible.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take a free action to be like: We
+just want to talk to you, damn it!
+
+MATT: You’re just shouting, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you hear that important detail about
+the enemy that he just revealed?
+
+SAM: Uh, nope. We were talking. What was the
+detail? I mean (coo) what was the detail?
+
+TRAVIS: Pretty sizable incisors, sharp fucking
+teeth.
+
+SAM: (cooing)
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right, Beau, is that the end of your
+turn?
+
+LAURA: Sorry, Travis. It’s important stuff that
+we’re talking about.
+
+MATT: All right, it is now the creature’s turn.
+The creature is going to swing one strike at Beau
+
+in front.
+
+TALIESIN: Blood Maledict. With the added–
+
+SAM: Yeah, drop that BM on him!
+
+LIAM: You just did that like the glitter guy.
+Blood Maledict.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage.
+
+TALIESIN: Disadvantage on that.
+
+MATT: Well, you prevented a natural 20, that’s
+good. So that’s 19.
+
+MARISHA: Still hits.
+
+MATT: Still hits. That is–
+
+LAURA: That was good that she didn’t get critted.
+
+MATT: Ten points of slashing damage.
+
+LAURA: Are you still up?
+
+MARISHA: Nope.
+
+SAM: Oh! Wait, we just healed her.
+
+LAURA: I did, but not for that much.
+
+MATT: Beau falls to the ground unconscious. The
+rope goes loose. At which point, the creature
+
+turns around towards you, Fjord. As you focus on
+its face you feel this swing from behind as the
+
+shadow version is going to try–
+
+TRAVIS: Nonlethal!
+
+SAM: Not in the face!
+
+MATT: That’s going to be 21.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+SAM: (high-pitched) Watch out for the teeth
+(coo).
+
+MATT: That is nine points of slashing
+damage and it vanishes. The impact, the actual
+
+blow hits and discards itself into the impact of
+the blow.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think he wants to talk to us.
+
+LAURA: It discards itself.
+
+MATT: Let’s see here. It’s now going to swing
+forward and head over to make a strike at you.
+
+LAURA: Why me?! I didn’t do anything to you.
+
+TRAVIS: Nonlethal. That’s only a 14, no, 15.
+
+MATT: 15 does not hit.
+
+TALIESIN: He still has disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Did you amplify it?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I did.
+
+MATT: Okay, that brings it to 19.
+
+LAURA: 19 probably fucking hits. Yes.
+
+MATT: Okay, that is eight points of slashing
+damage.
+
+LAURA: Hellish Rebuke!
+
+SAM and TRAVIS: Ooh.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to say: I’m not your enemy, you
+guy with big teeth. But I say it in Infernal,
+
+because you know.
+
+TALIESIN: No, that was good.
+
+MATT: That’s a constitution saving throw for that
+one, is it?
+
+LAURA: Sure, I don’t know.
+
+SAM: (singing) I still get hellish.
+
+MATT: That’s a 12. What’s your DC on that?
+
+LAURA: Charisma is your spellcasting ability for
+this.
+
+MATT: What’s your charisma bonus?
+
+LAURA: This is where it gets complicated, I’ve got
+a plus one mod to charisma.
+
+MATT: All right, so your DC with that would be
+11. So yeah, it succeeds. It takes half-damage.
+
+You still do damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh okay. Great. Which is 2d10, right?
+
+MATT: 2d10.
+
+LAURA: That’s a lot. (coo) That’s a lot. Oh,
+eight. So four.
+
+MATT: Four points, all right.
+
+SAM: It’s dead.
+
+MATT: You see this blast of ice come out as you’re
+shouting Infernal at it. It strikes into the armor
+
+and pierces parts of its shoulder as it (grunts).
+It goes limp for a certain point, you see it flex
+
+angrily. It’s looking really rough. As the attack
+hits you, another one appears over there.
+
+LAURA: How many slashing damage did you say you
+did to me?
+
+MATT: Eight.
+
+LAURA: Eight, got it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a dope feature, whatever that is.
+
+MATT: All righty, that’s going to end its turn.
+Molly you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: If I run up behind it, do I then get
+advantage because he’s flanked?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to do that.
+
+LAURA: Nonlethal.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s all nonlethal once you stabilize it
+after you put it down to the ground. All right,
+
+first strike with the–
+
+MATT: That’s actually not true.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I know. I’m paying attention. First
+strike with the scimitar is a natural 20!
+
+TRAVIS: Hey!
+
+TALIESIN: Does that do a thing then? For him or is
+it just double damage?
+
+MATT: It’s double damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, nothing weird in that.
+
+MATT: That’s both the weapon and the–
+
+LAURA: You get all your grit points back, aren’t
+you excited?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no. I miss things. I don’t get
+special damage to him, do I?
+
+MATT: As a reaction, he’s going to use Transpose
+Echo and shift over with that guy.
+
+SAM: Did he just–
+
+MATT: You watch as suddenly there’s a shimmy of
+shadow energy and he switches places with the
+
+shadow version of himself. You end up striking the
+shadow thing, which is dissipated from the impact.
+
+LAURA: Bitch.
+
+TRAVIS: That is some white elephant gift shit,
+right there.
+
+TALIESIN: So I don’t have enough movement to go
+for another.
+
+MATT: (counting) You do.
+
+TALIESIN: Run in, and if I can flank him great. If
+not I’m still going to take my shot.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can flank him actually.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: So you strike the one. Angrily spin around
+and then catch it behind, where you see him
+
+appear. Filling the spot where his shadow clone
+was.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: 22. Oh god. I don’t get the d6 on that,
+so that’s five points of damage.
+
+MATT: Five points of damage. How do you want to do
+this?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to bounce off the wall, after
+the other one hit, and spinning around and finally
+
+taking him, and knocking him out with the little
+spike on the side of the sword. Right in the helmet.
+
+MATT: As you spin the sword around, coming down
+(crack) you hit across the side of the head and
+
+the body collapses and falls to the ground
+unconscious.
+
+TALIESIN: Someone go deal with Beau.
+
+MATT: The darkness vanishes.
+
+LAURA: I run over to Beau and I cast Cure Wounds
+on her.
+
+TRAVIS: I start patting the body down. Molly help
+me.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m pulling the armor off.
+
+SAM: Caleb we need you.
+
+LAURA: Should I? No I’ll just cast that at
+regular. I cast Cure Wounds on you.
+
+TALIESIN: Did I feel anything when I hit it?
+
+LAURA: Seven points.
+
+TALIESIN: Did it set off the blood hunter spider
+sense at all?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Just curious.
+
+MATT: All right, so as you all–
+
+LAURA: Is he awake still or does he–
+
+MATT: Unconscious.
+
+LAURA: Let’s tie him up! Quick tie him up!
+
+TRAVIS: I got 50 feet of hempen rope.
+
+TALIESIN: I got 50 feet of hempen rope.
+
+LAURA: Let’s tie him up real good.
+
+TALIESIN: With Beau’s.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe no bows.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say with Beau’s rope,
+because she’s also got the hook.
+
+MARISHA: (strained) Oh yeah, I’ve got a– I can
+also tie bows in my, Beau’s, rope.
+
+LAURA: But also bows are really cool. We should
+give him some, because he’s got all these barbs
+
+and they’d be really fun to decorate.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, you want to put my bo in bows–
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no bows.
+
+LAURA: Just tie him up quick!
+
+LIAM: This language spell runs out in an hour,
+let’s speed this up.
+
+MATT: You strip him of everything he has. There’s
+the armor you pull off, there’s the blade and the
+
+sheath. There’s a pair of dark, jagged black boots
+that are pretty cool, three daggers that are all
+
+hidden in pockets in the armor, and a pouch that
+is hidden within the plating of the leather armor
+
+that is filled with quite a few coin if you go and
+inspect within.
+
+LAURA: Is anybody writing all of this stuff down?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, yes I am.
+
+MARISHA: Boots, something.
+
+TRAVIS: Sword, sheath, black boots, yup.
+
+MARISHA: Three daggers and lots of gold.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I am the inventory person. Shit.
+
+MATT: So that gets you 116 platinum pieces.
+
+SAM: Whoa, platinum?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to put 116 platinum.
+
+LAURA: You weren’t even writing it down.
+
+MATT: And 12 gold pieces.
+
+TRAVIS: Got it.
+
+TALIESIN: 12 gold. 116 platinum!
+
+MARISHA: Remember when we lost 500 platinum at the
+bottom of the Bag of Holding last campaign for
+
+months? That was funny.
+
+LIAM: Between the couch cushions?
+
+MARISHA: Yes. Oh that’s where I put that.
+
+SAM: Each platinum is worth 100 gold, right?
+
+MATT: Ten gold.
+
+LIAM: Do they say “In Xhorhas We Trust” on them?
+
+MATT: No, they are standard imperial platinum.
+
+MARISHA: We universally forgot it, as a team.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, so we get him nice and tied up,
+right?
+
+TALIESIN: We can’t stay here. We’ve got to move.
+
+SAM: Why do we have to move? We’re in the sewers.
+Who’s going to come down here?
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody who’s looking for him.
+
+SAM: Oh. That’s fair.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+SAM: What if we hide? Could we hide, could we put
+up an illusion to hide?
+
+TALIESIN: We can start heading back in our
+direction at the very least. Get further away from–
+
+MATT: There is also the dodecahedron that is the
+slow undulating gray glow that he was holding,
+
+before dropping it and rushing towards you.
+
+LIAM: Oh, let me take a look at it.
+
+SAM: Won’t you lose your other spell if you do the
+spell?
+
+LIAM: What? Does anybody have a torch or anything?
+No.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t write down, did you really write
+down that stuff?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sword, sheath, three daggers, pair
+of black boots that look cool, 116 platinum and 12 gold.
+
+SAM: She got sword, so far.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I need ten minutes. Ten minutes with
+this thing. I’m going to, as a ritual spell, cast Identify.
+
+MATT: To which object?
+
+LIAM: On the dodecahedron.
+
+MATT: Okay. You focus on it for a bit. It is
+definitely magic.
+
+LIAM: (whispering) But it’s next level shit.
+
+MATT: The magic contained is outside of the
+parameters of the spell. You’re not entirely
+
+certain what it’s capable of. There’s something
+alien about its magic source that your Identify
+
+spell is unable to pierce.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: As you focus more and more on it, your brain
+begins to open up into, what feels like, space.
+
+Endless expanse and it begins to scare you. Just
+the endless infinity of nothingness and you pull
+
+back and (gasp), “Oh that’s… interesting.” It seems
+very powerful, whatever it is. But you don’t know
+
+quite how it works.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I throw a dirty rag over it.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, do you think this is the weapon
+from the crime scene, that we saw? That big glowy,
+
+black–
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know it seems kind of small,
+doesn’t it?
+
+LIAM: It is extremely powerful, whatever it is.
+
+MARISHA: See? Extremely powerful.
+
+MATT: Do you want to continue and concentrate on
+it?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Can I take his helmet off, and look at his
+face?
+
+MATT: Sure. You took the helmet off when you took
+the armor off.
+
+LAURA: Just kidding. So that’s one of the things
+we have as well.
+
+MATT: The helmet is part of the armor. The armor
+is very well made. With the armor removed, you can
+
+see the deep blue, somewhat purple colored skin.
+It resembles, actually, you if a bit darker.
+
+Whitish gray hair that goes just past the
+shoulders. It was tied up in a tight bun into the
+
+helmet and tumbles past once it was pulled off.
+Dark elf, definitive drow.
+
+MARISHA: Does it look like the same color from the
+gauntleted hand that we saw in the alley?
+
+MATT: Correct, what you thought you saw the
+fingers dipped in the color was actually just
+
+gloves that didn’t have the fingers covered.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh wow.
+
+LAURA: Is it a boy?
+
+MATT: It is a male, yes.
+
+LIAM: What do we want our next step to be?
+
+SAM: We have to ask him some questions. But we
+have to leave, right?
+
+MARISHA: Let’s wake him up.
+
+MATT: The more you think on it, the more you know
+there’s more to this device. It scares you, but
+
+there was something you were close to there.
+Something you were close to learning. You’re not
+
+sure what lies beyond that threshold. You keep
+thinking on it.
+
+MARISHA: Super baity.
+
+SAM: One more opportunity.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) Might as well jump. Jump!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Go ahead and jump.
+
+MATT: It’s up to you.
+
+LIAM: (sighs)
+
+MARISHA: By the way, last time Travis did this, I
+jumped off of a cliff and splatted as a goldfish.
+
+LIAM: I was going to say, let’s wake up the elf.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Yeah that’s fair.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to pull his hair out of his face
+so he can see us.
+
+MATT: Okay, he’s still unconscious. There’s blood
+curling out the mouth and nose. He is beaten.
+
+TRAVIS: If we turn him in, it’ll take attention
+off of us in case we have trouble getting out of
+
+the sewer. But maybe we need to know who this is.
+
+TALIESIN: Who are these people who caught this
+person would be another question they might ask.
+
+We got to be careful.
+
+TRAVIS: True, good point.
+
+MARISHA: We could be heroes. Turn him in, invaders
+in chains.
+
+TALIESIN: No one is a hero for very long.
+
+LAURA: What is the name of the romantic lead in
+the romance novel?
+
+MARISHA: That is true, these guys were called
+Cricks.
+
+SAM: Oskar?
+
+LAURA: No, no, not my romance novel. The one about
+these guys.
+
+LIAM: Well I don’t remember it, but Caleb does
+because he has photographic memory. So Matt has to
+
+tell me–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: If anything was true in the porn, you can
+always trust porn to be honest.
+
+LIAM: There is always some truth to porn.
+
+MARISHA: There’s always truth to porn.
+
+TRAVIS: At least one basic truth.
+
+MARISHA: This guy is from the Dwendalian Empire,
+from the Julous Dominion.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that right?
+
+MATT: No. Well, the main character of the book
+was. The Julous Dominion was what once ruled the
+
+Marrow Valley.
+
+MARISHA: Remember the porn. It was a very awkward
+reading.
+
+LAURA: The Marrow Valley.
+
+MARISHA: The Marrow Valley. What was–
+
+TALIESIN: That was a metaphor.
+
+MATT: So yeah. So the main character was not
+Xhorhasian.
+
+LIAM: Caleb says.
+
+MATT: They were a general in the army of Julous.
+Which was–
+
+MARISHA: The army of Julous.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the Julous Dominion. Which as during
+the conflict, before the Dwendalian Empire
+
+conquered it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, conflict between the Julous Dominion
+and the Dwendalian Empire. And she was a general
+
+for the Dwendalian empire.
+
+MATT: Right.
+
+LAURA: Can I heal him and wake him up?
+
+SAM: Yes we need to– yes.
+
+LAURA: Are you guys ready?
+
+MARISHA: She was super in love with this general
+named Theo.
+
+LAURA: Theo.
+
+MARISHA: Theo.
+
+SAM: How far are we from the entrance, where we
+came down into the sewer?
+
+MATT: You’re maybe 150 feet from entrance of where
+you came down and you’re a few hundred feet from
+
+the way that leads back up into the city, of the
+Interstead Sprawl.
+
+SAM: Should I go back up to the entrance and make
+sure we’re not being followed or anything?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, if you want to. Unless you have any
+questions.
+
+SAM: Questions? I don’t know anything about this
+shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, go keep watch.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m going to head back and look at the
+entrance.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MATT: Plus no. Okay. You look past and you can see
+some folks darting back and forth occasionally
+
+across the end of the alleyway. Otherwise you just
+see the dark, shadowed walls and the dark sky
+
+above with the cloud cover. No one seems to be
+immediately coming towards it for the time being.
+
+LIAM: Jester, my idea is, you know, most people
+are not like that crownsguard bastard. Most people
+
+like cats, so maybe if Frumpkin woke him up, you
+know, with a couple of licks, he would wake up in
+
+a better–
+
+LAURA: Most people like me too, though.
+
+LIAM: That’s also true.
+
+LAURA: And I’m blue and he’s blue.
+
+LIAM: It’s all yours.
+
+LAURA: I pat him on his little cheek, and I say
+wake up: Theo. Wake up.
+
+MATT: Okay. It takes a few moments, but
+eventually, he (mumbling) (grunts).
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Hi!
+
+MATT: Spits out a bit of blood on to the front of
+his chest and the rope and (grunts)
+
+LAURA: You’re not dead, because we didn’t even
+want to fight you, but you attacked us.
+
+MATT: (speaks in Undercommon) And so you’ve
+cast–
+
+LIAM: Comprehend Languages. I understand
+everything.
+
+MATT: The essence is “Stupid empirical scum.
+You’ll get nothing.”
+
+LIAM: He thinks we’re with the empire.
+
+LAURA: We are not with the empire. Look at us!
+
+LIAM: Do we have any of that Crownsguard armor?
+Didn’t we collect some?
+
+MATT: Make a, I’ll say a persuasion check, because
+you haven’t technically allied yourself with the
+
+empire entirely, though you are part of the
+empire. You, specifically, are not part of the
+
+empire. You did not grow up here.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we need a little greasing?
+
+LAURA: Where’s my persuasion? Where’s persuasion?
+
+TALIESIN: There it is.
+
+LAURA: Where?
+
+TALIESIN: You just rolled over it.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Nine.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+MATT: His eyes narrow towards you and still bears
+the incisor fangs. (breathes heavily)
+
+LAURA: Oh, Theo, what big teeth you have!
+
+LIAM: Jester, give me one of the Crownsguard
+helmets from your backpack.
+
+LAURA: I pull it out.
+
+LIAM: I take this helmet. I set it on the ground
+in front of the elf, and then I start to piss on it.
+
+SAM: The language of love.
+
+TRAVIS: Just wang out.
+
+MATT: The right eyebrow curls up into a very
+confused expression.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin comes over and also pisses on it.
+
+LAURA: That’s gross.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, for god’s sakes. You can’t reason
+with angry people.
+
+LAURA: I give a pastry to him.
+
+MATT: (sounds of disgust)
+
+LAURA: It’s good to eat.
+
+MATT: As you’re shoving this pastry into his face,
+you can see right now, he appears demoralized,
+
+ready to lash out at the first moment’s notice,
+and has seemed to have calmed a bit from the
+
+confusion of the displays in front of him, but
+doesn’t seem to be buying into any of what you’re
+
+saying at the moment.
+
+LIAM: I shake it and put it away.
+
+LAURA: Can he understand us? Can you understand
+me?
+
+SAM: It walks away.
+
+MATT: “I can understand this.”
+
+(gasps)
+
+MARISHA: Oh, he does speak Common.
+
+LAURA: That’s great.
+
+TALIESIN: Should I expedite this?
+
+TRAVIS: Please.
+
+LIAM: Can you, yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: Come on, friend. We just need to ask you
+a few questions and we’ll let you be on your way,
+
+as long as there’s nothing too inappropriate
+happening. Devil’s Tongue.
+
+LAURA: Devil’s Tongue.
+
+MATT: That is a…
+
+TALIESIN: Wisdom save, second level.
+
+MATT: That would be a nine. That does not succeed.
+Okay. You watch the eyes gloss over for a second.
+
+Wait, hold on a second. Where’s my Player’s
+Handbook? Do you have it real fast?
+
+LAURA: Oh I do.
+
+MATT: Here I’ll grab this one real fast.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I was sitting on it.
+
+MATT: Double-check one more thing.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you trying to weasel out of my–
+
+MATT: I am trying to confirm. One of the racial
+traits of the elves, if I recall, is they have–
+
+LAURA: Oh, a resistance to charm?
+
+TALIESIN: Or advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Half-elves did. I remember team
+half-elves did.
+
+MATT: Yep. Advantage on saving throws on being
+charmed.
+
+TALIESIN: So you get one more roll.
+
+MATT: I do.
+
+TRAVIS: Roll low, roll low!
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 12.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a wisdom save, so it’s ten plus my
+wisdom modifier?
+
+MATT: It’s eight plus– yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: So, that’s 13.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+MATT: 13. Still fails. All righty. So as the eyes
+glass over for a minute, the snarling and the
+
+tension in the muscles relax for a minute.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re not with the empire. We’re private
+individuals just trying to get by. We wandered
+
+into a lot of chaos, so we just want to know what
+we’re getting wrapped up in right now.
+
+MATT: “Untie me.”
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LAURA: You attacked us.
+
+MATT: “You rushed me and began to assault me.”
+
+LAURA: No, we didn’t! You came at us with your
+sword out.
+
+LIAM: I cast a spell so I could try to understand
+your tongue.
+
+MATT: He keeps looking at you. It’s ignoring the
+rest of them. It goes, “What happened to the
+
+“Beacon?”
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the Beacon?
+
+MATT: “The Beacon.” It looks around.
+
+LIAM: It’s under a dirty rag.
+
+MATT: Right. It’s just glancing about.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s right there. Is it important?
+
+MATT: “Yes. Very.”
+
+TALIESIN: Why? I’m just trying to understand,
+friend. Help me help you.
+
+TRAVIS: You Jerry Maguire motherfucker. Help me,
+help you.
+
+MATT: “We are here to retrieve the Beacon from the
+empirical bastards in Zadash. We had it. I have
+
+“it. I don’t know what happened to my companion,
+but, so far, I am successful. And I need it.”
+
+TALIESIN: What is the beacon for?
+
+MATT: “The beacon is part of our culture. The
+beacon allows the rebirth.”
+
+TALIESIN: The rebirth of what?
+
+MATT: “Of our people.”
+
+LAURA: That’s important. People need to be born.
+
+TALIESIN: This all sounds very complicated to me.
+I am personally of the opinion that we just let
+
+everything go.
+
+MARISHA: Do you mean rebirth or do you mean
+reanimate? Let’s be honest here.
+
+MATT: It doesn’t even pay attention to Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: My friends are your friends.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got one job on this ship. It’s
+stupid, but I’m going to do it!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: You’re making a very, very good
+argument, and my friends are your friends. We’re
+
+all here to help.
+
+MATT: “The Beacons are sacred. I have lived four
+lifetimes. As long as the Beacons remain, me and
+
+“my people will live more.”
+
+LAURA: Do you make babies still?
+
+MATT: “We do.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. And they live as long as the Beacon
+lives too?
+
+MATT: “The souls continue. With each rebirth, the
+memories retain.”
+
+LIAM: What is your intention for the people in
+this empire, this kingdom?
+
+MATT: “What is the intention of the empire?”
+
+LIAM: No, your people’s intention, for all those
+who live here.
+
+MATT: “We live. We worship. We learn. We die. We
+are reborn until we are perfect.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh jeez.
+
+MATT: “We find more Beacons.”
+
+LAURA: There’s more of them?
+
+MARISHA: Is this thing what we saw take out half
+the Zauber Spire?
+
+MATT: “No. That was my companion.” You see at this
+point, now, as friendly as it has been, there’s
+
+this look of,
+
+“I might be saying too much and I don’t trust the
+most of you still.”
+
+TALIESIN: Sorry to tell you, but I think your
+friend may have got hit on the end of something
+
+fierce and may not have made it. I thought I saw
+someone fly by and take him out. I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: “That’s all right.”
+
+MARISHA: Is it just the two of you or were there
+more?
+
+MATT: “For this mission, just the two of us. We
+had help, but…”
+
+TRAVIS: Where are you trying to get to?
+
+MATT: “Out. Of the city.”
+
+MARISHA: Who was your help, if it was just the two
+of you?
+
+MATT: “I’ve said too much. Either kill me or let
+me go.”
+
+MARISHA: It has to be someone in the city. Who was
+it? You don’t tell us, we’ll find out one way or
+
+another. I can tell you that right now.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re trying to fight corruption in this
+city in our own way. We just need to know who we
+
+can trust and who we can’t.
+
+MARISHA: You can either help us get there faster,
+or we’ll just take the long goddamn way.
+
+MATT: “You cannot trust anybody in this city. You
+cannot trust yourselves. Anyone who has not bound
+
+“themselves. They are the enemy.”
+
+LAURA: To the beacon? What do you bind yourself
+to?
+
+MATT: There’s a moment of very tightly closed
+eyes. The jaw clenches as he looks about.
+
+TALIESIN: I know my vote, but anybody else?
+
+LAURA: I thought he was going to answer. I thought
+he was going to answer!
+
+TRAVIS: You want to let him go, don’t you?
+
+TALIESIN: Eh, not our problem.
+
+LAURA: I think we should let him go. I think he’s
+handsome.
+
+MARISHA: He looks like a good reward to me.
+Unless, under one condition. You tell us who you
+
+were working with in here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, tell us. We’ll let you go.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+MATT: “I cannot. Our allies in the empire are
+short on the list.”
+
+MARISHA: Is it Kara? Dolan?
+
+TRAVIS: Ulog? Checking his face for reactions to
+any of them.
+
+MARISHA: Exactly. Anything? Any reactions?
+
+MATT: That would be an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I help her?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, can me and Fjord tag team this?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s just each roll. We’re just
+going down the list.
+
+Fucking fuck.
+
+TRAVIS: 15?
+
+MARISHA: Better than me. 13.
+
+MATT: 13.
+
+SAM: Whispers on a 15?
+
+MATT: He’s not in a very strong place. The charm
+spell is–
+
+TALIESIN: Charm spells are mean.
+
+LAURA: How long does charm spell work?
+
+TALIESIN: Like an hour.
+
+LAURA: That’s great. I’ve got it, too.
+
+TALIESIN: I can do two people.
+
+SAM: Liam, what are you looking forward to in
+Chicago? Is it the sausages? The brats? The
+
+deep-dish?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you know that deep-dish pizza there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I feel like we’ve kept him up long
+enough. We don’t have to get him out, we just have
+
+to give him the chance to get out. I think we
+should do that. He’s given us everything.
+
+MATT: “And give me the beacon.”
+
+MARISHA: What? He hasn’t told us shit.
+
+LAURA: Will the beacon hurt people, though?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+LAURA: I’m going to insight check him.
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+MATT: 14. Kind of hard to read on this one.
+
+LIAM: What will you do if we say no?
+
+MATT: “I will strike you down where you stand and
+take it. It’s too important.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s rude. I’m going to start moving
+towards untying him unless anyone’s got any–
+
+MARISHA: Just leave him. He can get out himself.
+He’s a smart guy.
+
+TALIESIN: If we’re all good–
+
+LIAM: We leave him only if we leave the beacon
+with the Gentleman, but if we leave him on his own–
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Was it the Gentleman? Is he who
+helped you in?
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, was it the Gentleman?
+
+TALIESIN: Insight check. Do I get advantage
+because he’s friends with me?
+
+MATT: Yeah, I’ll say. Yeah. Why not?
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Double insight.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, that’s not bad.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not bad. 21.
+
+MATT: 21.
+
+SAM: More whispers! Just whispers. It’s all
+whispers. Oh, guys. D&D Beyond, right?
+
+LAURA: I mean, D&D Beyond.
+
+SAM: What is there to say that hasn’t already been
+said by me?
+
+TALIESIN: Personally, this seems like more than I
+feel like taking on right now. I say we walk away,
+
+and you’ll know that our silence means that we
+were trustworthy in the first place.
+
+LAURA: And then you can be our friends later.
+
+MATT: “And you’ll leave the beacon? Free me. Give
+me the beacon.”
+
+MARISHA: We could pawn this thing. Right now.
+It’ll be off of our tail in like two minutes.
+
+TALIESIN: Have you ever pawned anything before?
+
+LIAM: I think that this thing is a great
+responsibility.
+
+TRAVIS: We removed his armor. We should give him
+something to leave in so he’s not just walking
+
+buck through the city.
+
+TALIESIN: Now we’re getting silly.
+
+MARISHA: What if he comes back and destroys us
+with this thing in six months? Two months?
+
+LAURA: He won’t. He likes us, right? You won’t do
+it? Will you promise not to hurt us later?
+
+TRAVIS: No, he just said he’s going to kill us if
+we don’t give it to him.
+
+LAURA: But what if we give it back though?
+
+MATT: “You give it back. We go our separate ways.
+I run.”
+
+LIAM: I think we should kill him.
+
+TRAVIS: Really?
+
+LIAM: Seems dangerous to me.
+
+LAURA: Oh, man. This is a really tough one.
+
+MARISHA: And super different than five seconds ago
+when you said we should just let him go.
+
+TRAVIS: Why don’t we leave it up to him? We untie
+him, he comes at us bros, we take him down. We’re
+
+giving him a chance at freedom.
+
+LAURA: What about the beacon?
+
+TRAVIS: He doesn’t get the beacon.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s not going to leave without the
+beacon.
+
+LAURA: I think we give him the beacon and we walk
+away.
+
+TRAVIS: He’ll come after it. I know.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you can look at the beacon one more
+time and try to see what it is, and then we can
+
+give it back to him.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s do that. No?
+
+MARISHA: Does it scare you that much?
+
+LIAM: It does.
+
+LAURA: Can I look at the beacon?
+
+TALIESIN: Did he get worried when we said we were
+going to take a look at it one more time?
+
+MATT: He didn’t seem to flinch.
+
+MARISHA: If it’s that scary, then what do you want
+to do with it?
+
+TRAVIS: Can anybody else concentrate on it?
+
+LIAM: If we leave this gentleman here and take the
+beacon, it becomes his life’s work to find us.
+
+TRAVIS: Agreed.
+
+LIAM: So we either leave him and it, or we take it
+and kill him.
+
+TALIESIN: Agreed.
+
+MARISHA: Or we can take it now and kill him
+later.
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+MARISHA: Just saying, it could be like a fun game.
+
+TALIESIN: You first.
+
+TRAVIS: I won’t speak for anybody in the group,
+but I’m not taking his life. So, if someone feels
+
+motivated, I’ll just walk over this way. And I
+start walking back the way we came.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Give it back to him.
+
+LIAM: I don’t– why are you–
+
+LAURA: You have it!
+
+LIAM: I don’t. It’s on the ground under the dirty
+rag, ja.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it is? I go and look at it.
+
+MATT: Okay, as you pull the cloth up and look, the
+grey light energy spills out from underneath, and
+
+you watch as it looks over, and it can see it now.
+Its eyes go wide, and you feel the soft undulating
+
+low hum to it.
+
+LAURA: (hums) I hum back at it.
+
+MATT: Okay, you match the tone.
+
+LAURA: What does he do when we’re looking at it?
+
+TALIESIN: I walk over and scrape my radiant sword
+against the orb.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to take a few steps back.
+
+MATT: As you do, he’s like (growling).
+
+TALIESIN: Just seeing. Just going to give it a
+little tap. I’m not cutting it, I’m just tapping it.
+
+MATT: Okay, it taps. It sounds like you’re tapping
+some sort of a stone or rock.
+
+TALIESIN: Does the radiant energy have any effect
+on it?
+
+MATT: No, it does not.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I don’t know what it is. And if
+you’re not going to look, what use do we have for it?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Look, I know some people. Why don’t we
+bag this thing up and we’ll take it right over to–
+
+LIAM: These two individuals were responsible for
+blowing a hole in that tower, yes?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m not talking about anything–
+
+LIAM: I’m not contradicting what you’re saying,
+I’m sorry. When you say, “What use do we have for
+
+"it?” It’s a dangerous thing.
+
+LAURA: It didn’t do it. The beacon wasn’t the
+thing that did it.
+
+MARISHA: New plan.
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+MARISHA: New plan. All right, we can’t decide if
+we should leave him, or take the thing, or take
+
+the thing but leave him, or kill him, or– why
+don’t we take both him and the thing?
+
+TRAVIS: And what do we do with him?
+
+MARISHA: We go to the Cobalt Soul. Drop him off.
+Front doorstep, leave a note, “You’re welcome.”
+
+LAURA: They’re going to kill him, though.
+
+MARISHA: And apparently so are we? Or at least
+talking about it?
+
+LIAM: What do they do there? I don’t know much
+about the Cobalt Soul. What can you tell me?
+
+MARISHA: They hold information. They’ve got a
+decent amount of relics and spell books and things
+
+that they might know.
+
+TRAVIS: And it would endear us to the city.
+
+MARISHA: And they’re technically a little bit
+separate from the city. They’re kind of not
+
+necessarily a part of the empire. They kind of
+make sure the empire stays in check.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s your name again, friend?
+
+MATT: (sighs) This long, heavy sigh. Hearing all
+this conversation and not knowing who to trust,
+
+even in spite of your spell. “Thuron.”
+
+TALIESIN: Help us out, here. I’m Molly, and I–
+Give my friends more to go with. Give them
+
+something, some reason to trust you, to make sure
+that this is not going to come back and bite us in
+
+the ass. I mean, that’s what we’re looking for,
+here, is a reason for us to be able to walk away.
+
+MATT: “Then walk away.”
+
+LIAM: Question. When he said Thuron, did I hear
+Thuron, or did I hear some other word, like eagle,
+
+or swift, or something?
+
+MATT: The name itself does have meaning in
+Undercommon. It is a name.
+
+LIAM: So I didn’t hear Bob, right? Did it have
+a–
+
+MATT: No. The nuance to the word, from what you
+can best understand, is– it means “blessed second
+
+"born” is the best I can find the right words for
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: Should send him to a monastery.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m good either way.
+
+TALIESIN: How did you lose the thing in the first
+place that you need to get it back?
+
+MATT: “It was taken from Xhorhas.”
+
+TALIESIN: By who?
+
+MATT: (chuckles darkly) Grins and looks up. “From
+your fucking wizards.”
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t have any wizards. Well, I have
+one wizard, but–
+
+LAURA: He doesn’t like the other wizards.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, to be fair, they are kind of
+arseholes.
+
+LAURA: It was stolen from him! We should just let
+him have it.
+
+TALIESIN: How did they take it?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know the details.”
+
+TALIESIN: Did they come to you?
+
+MATT: “I was just sent to retrieve it. I don’t
+know all the answers.”
+
+TALIESIN: Sent by whom?
+
+MATT: “By my empress.”
+
+TALIESIN: Your empress? Which empress would this
+be?
+
+MATT: “You don’t know much, do you?”
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know anything. It’s part of my
+charm.
+
+MATT: “Empress Leylas Krynn.”
+
+LAURA: Leylas Krynn. Did I say it right?
+
+MATT: You did.
+
+LAURA: Nice!
+
+LIAM: Same question.
+
+MATT: Question was?
+
+LIAM: Context of the name. Anything?
+
+MATT: No, actually, that one is a proper name.
+
+TRAVIS: Leylas Krynn?
+
+LAURA: Empress o’ the drow? Or o’ Marrow Valley?
+
+MATT: Well, the Marrow Valley is in the empire.
+
+LAURA: Oh, right. My facts are–
+
+MARISHA: The Dwendalian Empire?
+
+LIAM: No, we’re in the Dwendalian Empire.
+
+MATT: You guys are in the Dwendalian Empire.
+
+MARISHA: No, wait, sorry. I meant Xhorhas.
+
+MATT: Xhorhas is to the east of here. It’s the
+wastes to the east of the Ashkeeper Peaks.
+
+MARISHA: Right.
+
+LAURA: So that’s where you’re from? Xhorhas?
+
+MATT: He nods, slowly.
+
+LAURA: And the Dwendalian Empire is fighting you?
+
+And they’re stealing your babies? Because this is
+the only way you can have babies?
+
+MATT: He stares at you, confused.
+
+LAURA: It all makes perfect sense to me.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we give him his armor, and that
+thing, and be on our way. This is none of our concern.
+
+LAURA: I say we give him the thing and let him
+walk around naked, because that’s better.
+
+TALIESIN: That could be funny, too.
+
+LIAM: That’s close to a death sentence. How about
+we give him some crownsguard armor?
+
+TRAVIS: Fair call.
+
+LAURA: Then you can get out.
+
+MATT: “But you will give me the beacon?”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’re not going to give it to you.
+We’re just going to leave it here. I think that’s
+
+fair, we didn’t give him anything. We found him,
+he attacked us, we defeated him, we walked about
+
+our way.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m all right.
+
+MARISHA: We’re letting him leave without the
+beacon?
+
+LAURA: We’re leaving the beacon on the ground,
+Beau.
+
+LIAM: I suggest, leave it for him.
+
+MARISHA: And he’s not going to take it?
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t know what he’s going to do.
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering dramatically) Yes, he’s going
+to take it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right with this.
+
+LAURA: I’m okay with this.
+
+TALIESIN: Anyone else?
+
+LIAM: I defer to the group.
+
+SAM: I’m drunk, 120 feet away.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Unless you’ve got a strong opinion
+otherwise, Caleb, on that thing.
+
+LIAM: Say what?
+
+TALIESIN: Unless you’ve got a strong opinion on
+that thing otherwise.
+
+LIAM: I am able to tell a great many things about
+a great many things, and that is beyond me.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you should stare at it some more.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t have to stare at it some more.
+If it’s beyond you, then it’s beyond me.
+
+TRAVIS: Unless you really want to. Huh? Do you? Do
+you?
+
+LIAM: I do not.
+
+TRAVIS: Open the door.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we just let it go.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) Take a look…
+
+LAURA & MARISHA: (singing) It’s in a book, Reading
+Rainbow!
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, we’re getting into singing. No.
+I’m calling it, then?
+
+MARISHA: I still say we load up both of these
+guys.
+
+LAURA: I pull out– oh wait, you know what, I
+think I don’t have full armor for the crownsguard
+
+because I gave them away. I gave them back.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you returned them.
+
+LAURA: We don’t got no crownsguard armor.
+
+TALIESIN: Just give him his bits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, he definitely does not get a secret
+disguise to help him get through the city.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re giving him everything but the black
+boots, the sword and the sheath and his money.
+
+LIAM: We’re taking his shit.
+
+TALIESIN: Give him just the armor.
+
+LAURA: He gets his armor back. But you don’t have
+the shoes, okay?
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll leave it right next to the bit.
+
+MARISHA: Just saying, it feels like we’re leaving
+an opportunity in the sewer.
+
+TALIESIN: There are good opportunities and bad
+opportunities, and this one is giving me the
+
+vibration that perhaps we should just leave him
+be.
+
+LAURA: And he’s going to remember us and love us.
+He’s going to be our best friend.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, he’s going to be a little
+irritated at me in about half an hour. I’m going
+
+to start fraying the rope just a bit, so that
+it’ll be breakable with a little bit of work. Are
+
+we off?
+
+MATT: Okay, are you fraying it with your sword?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. Just give it a little–
+
+MATT: The– (trails off and chuckles)
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: The moment the rope breaks–
+
+TALIESIN: I wasn’t going to break it, I was just
+going to fray it.
+
+MATT: I know. But as you begin to pull, you notice
+that, all this time that’s been happening, the
+
+ropes in the back have gotten looser and looser.
+He uses that point to grab the blade and swing
+
+around and pull it up against you. “I’m sorry, I
+need your help.”
+
+LAURA: He can do that when he’s charmed?
+
+MATT: He’s not cutting him, he’s just grabbing,
+going, ��I’m sorry, I need your help,” and is
+
+holding you now against the wall, looking at the
+rest of you, and says, “Leave me.”
+
+LAURA: That’s what we’re doing! Jesus!
+
+TALIESIN: We were literally just doing that. And
+boy, I’ve got to tell you that you are really
+
+overestimating their fondness for me right now.
+
+MATT: He pushes you off.
+
+TALIESIN: (laughs) Your stuff’s over there.
+
+MATT: He rushes over and pushes the cloth off the
+beacon real fast, picks it up and holds it.
+
+LAURA: I go (hums).
+
+MATT: Goes over and starts picking up the armor.
+
+MARISHA: Nope!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we gave him the armor.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we gave it back to him.
+
+SAM: It’s very clear.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Not the boots, not the sword, not
+the gold.
+
+SAM: They said it four or five times.
+
+MATT: He puts on the armor. Puts on the mask. Puts
+on the leg armor. Takes the beacon.
+
+LAURA: Don’t run out the same exit that we do,
+okay?
+
+MATT: Turns around and darts deeper into the
+sewers.
+
+SAM: (whispers) That’s the way we were going to
+go.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to say, right now, that was
+the easiest 20 platinum I’ve ever made in my
+
+entire life.
+
+LAURA: I mean, we just made so much money.
+
+MARISHA: Should we follow him? See where he’s
+going?
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: No.
+
+MARISHA: Just saying, maybe there’s some cool
+portal or something.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+MARISHA: How are they getting in and out, man?
+
+TALIESIN: I think he probably has some thing.
+Whatever they do.
+
+LIAM: He left all his shit– his armor he’s
+wearing, but all his other shit was left around?
+
+MATT: Other shit you have, yes.
+
+LIAM: We scooped it up?
+
+LAURA: It’s in the bag.
+
+MARISHA: Is he heading deeper into the sewers the
+way the spiders were?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Why are you so keen on this one? I mean,
+that was a lot. I don’t want to get involved in
+
+that. That’s crazy.
+
+LAURA: This is wars between empires. Do you really
+care?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t care about wars between empires,
+I just like having more information. For later.
+
+TRAVIS: We should get back to the Song and Supper
+Inn.
+
+LAURA: You mean the Leaky Tap.
+
+TRAVIS: Song and Supper. See if Dolan’s there.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: We are short one, you know.
+
+LAURA: Ulog.
+
+MATT: You hear a shout in the distance.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s roll.
+
+LAURA: Go, go, go, go.
+
+MATT: In the direction that you’re traveling,
+echoing down that way. And you see a flash of
+
+firelight, torchlight in the distance. You hear a
+(hiss) and the sound of weapons clanging–
+
+LIAM: Where he went?
+
+MATT: Yeah, in the direction he went.
+
+LAURA: Oh, he was going in the direction we were
+going.
+
+MATT: And then it goes quiet, and you hear voices
+say, “We got him! We got him!” And other voices,
+
+and around the corner up ahead you can see a
+little bit of torchlight flickering against the
+
+wall.
+
+LIAM: Well, whatever it is, the empire just got it
+back.
+
+MARISHA: I should have just strapped him up.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we want to end this really quickly?
+
+TRAVIS: End it?
+
+TALIESIN: We could go over and get involved in
+that, since you seemed so keen–
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, now you don’t want to.
+
+MARISHA: We had control of it when it was still in
+our hands. We don’t have control anymore.
+
+LIAM: Also, as a sidebar, if we want the other
+half of our earlier plan to work, we need to get
+
+to Dolan, we need the crownsguard inside Sutan’s
+house as quickly as possible.
+
+MARISHA: What did you say, you said we’re down
+one?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, Ulog.
+
+MARISHA: What happened to Ulog?
+
+LAURA: (gasps)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Yeah. Well, in the fray of the Richter
+coming in, he lunged at her and put a little gem
+
+in her mouth. They exploded.
+
+LAURA: I’m keeping an eye on the path to make sure
+nobody’s coming down our direction.
+
+MATT: Okay. Hand me the object, please. The item
+sheet.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: That could have easily been a blank piece of
+paper.
+
+TALIESIN: But it wasn’t.
+
+LIAM: It wasn’t.
+
+LAURA: You should have looked at it more!
+
+LIAM: I looked at it plenty.
+
+TALIESIN: He also technically memorized it.
+
+LIAM: Sure. All the question marks. I memorized
+all the question marks.
+
+MATT: Doesn’t work that way.
+
+LIAM: No, that was too mysterious.
+
+MATT: All right. There’s some other muffled voices
+down the way.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got to get out of here.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. We don’t want to be a part of
+this.
+
+LAURA: But wait. Is there another exit? Or is it
+back to the–
+
+MATT: It’s back to the Tri-Spires.
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: You hear footsteps.
+
+LIAM: All right, come on, we’re going back up?
+We’re either fighting crownsguard or getting out
+
+of here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we retreat.
+Back the way we came.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Back it up, back it up, back it
+up, back it up.
+
+SAM: What are you guys doing coming this way?! We
+were going the other way!
+
+LIAM: It’s a long story, go.
+
+TALIESIN: Bad at this.
+
+TRAVIS: Be quiet, we’re being followed.
+
+SAM: Oh God!
+
+TALIESIN: Shh!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Are you drunk, Nott?
+
+SAM: Not yet, but now I will be!
+
+MATT: You guys manage to head back up into the
+Tri-Spires, back into the alleyway. As you close
+
+and lock the thing behind, a voice in the back of
+the alley– you guys watch as two crownsguard
+
+approach and go, “Hey! You!” And both pull their
+swords to hold out in front, and one guy in the
+
+back, a third one arrives with a crossbow up to
+you guys and says, “Hands up, weapons.”
+
+LIAM: One, two, three? Don’t know who you’re
+point– oh, everybody?
+
+MATT: This would be all of you guys as you got out
+of the sewer.
+
+SAM: We came back up. Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: “What’s your business?”
+
+LAURA: We were scared, things were falling from
+the sky.
+
+LIAM: We took cover in the sewers.
+
+MARISHA: We were working at the festival. We’re
+just trying to get out, man.
+
+LIAM: Has the danger passed?
+
+MATT: (chuckles) I will say, since it wasn’t a
+single person, I’m going to ask for a deception
+
+roll from both of you, since you were the first
+two to speak up.
+
+SAM: This is going to be great.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+SAM: Why do you get advantage?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I don’t know why I took advantage.
+
+MATT: Yeah, don’t get advantage. Roll one more.
+
+TALIESIN: Or you can take the lowest? No?
+
+LAURA: No, I don’t want to do that.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+LAURA: God damn it. Nine plus– 12.
+
+MATT: And you rolled a–
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: They take a moment. “Get out, we’re
+investigating.” They move in, and they don’t take
+
+their arms off of you. They get behind you and
+move you out of the alley, into the street, and
+
+begin pushing you guys in the direction of the
+outer wall of the Tri-Spires.
+
+MARISHA: I say, sir, we have coworkers that were
+working at the festival. Do you know anything
+
+about this attack?
+
+MATT: “We don’t have any information at this time,
+just get out, we’re still checking. Please.” You
+
+see the tower, still listing but held in place.
+There’s this flickering arcane energy underneath
+
+it that occasionally a wave goes (whooshing)
+that’s holding it aloft. You can see crownsguards
+
+are now– some are shifting in the streets, going
+and weaving through the buildings, and there’s a
+
+bunch at the actual exterior wall, and they
+eventually push you through, and lead you into the
+
+central part of the city.
+
+LAURA: Are they still with us, or did they push us
+away?
+
+MATT: They pushed you away, and you guys are now
+in the Interstead Sprawl.
+
+TRAVIS: We should stop by the Song & Supper Inn,
+see if we see a friendly face.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go, before they realize we were down
+there with the guy.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk, I’m going to ask Fjord, did
+you catch any weird twitches, or any signs that he
+
+was lying?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I don’t know if you saw, but his
+eyes and his nostrils flared when we mentioned
+
+Ulog. I have a feeling our small dwarf friend was
+involved in quite a bit more than we were aware of.
+
+MARISHA: You know, maybe we were assholes for not
+noticing that him handing over his entire life
+
+savings was a little suspicious.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Did he give that to us before?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, down in the basement when we were
+talking.
+
+LAURA: He gave it to us already, or it was an
+after sort of thing?
+
+TRAVIS: We didn’t get it yet.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think we got it.
+
+LAURA: He was lying. He’s not giving us any of the
+money.
+
+TRAVIS: Even more reason to find Dolan.
+
+SAM: He showed it to us.
+
+TRAVIS: It was part of the pot, yeah.
+
+LAURA: I bet it exploded when he did. He
+exploded.
+
+LIAM: That is correct, right? We have not been
+paid.
+
+MATT: No, you have not been paid.
+
+SAM: Except for the 112 platinum we just got.
+
+MARISHA: Which is pretty dope.
+
+LAURA: What-what!
+
+TRAVIS: How many gold is a platinum?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn!
+
+MATT: Who are the two that are keeping point,
+leading you guys to the Song and Supper?
+
+TRAVIS: I am.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check, please.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+LAURA: I am, too.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: You asked for two people!
+
+MATT: I did.
+
+LAURA: Nobody else spoke up.
+
+14.
+
+MATT: 14, okay. You catch it first, and you
+corroborate it. As you guys are heading down the
+
+road, near the sewer exit where you guys were
+previously, there’s a commotion gathering on the
+
+side of the street.
+
+SAM: Should we go check it out?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: Is there a crowd around it?
+
+MATT: There is a crowd gathering now, and you hear
+gasps and people starting to shout.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin scurrying between people’s
+legs into the crowd, put my hand on Beau’s
+
+shoulder and go blind.
+
+MATT: You can see now, crownsguard are coming out
+of the sewer, and they’re dragging the dead body
+
+of the dark elf that you had seen below, and throw
+it onto the ground. People are like (gasps), and
+
+they’re looking at it, and some folks are talking.
+“I’ve never seen one up close like this.” There’s
+
+this murmur in the crowd as all about the guards
+are like, “Don’t worry, don’t worry. Both of them
+
+"are dead. You’re safe now, thanks to the might and
+the trust of the empire. The king keeps you safe.”
+
+LIAM: Do Frumpkin and I see the doohickus? The
+dodecahedron?
+
+MATT: You do see it being held by one of the
+guards in one of his hands, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: All right, let’s all be clear that
+whatever the empire wants, they’ll fucking take.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we take that thing from them? Those
+guys don’t know what that is. Let’s go get it!
+
+MATT: Two of the guards pick the body up, and one
+of them puts it over his shoulder, and all of them
+
+cluster together as the crowd follows them. Some
+of them are taking sticks and poking at the body
+
+as it goes. The guards are like, “Please, stop,
+no.”
+
+LAURA: Can we run interference and try to trip the
+guard and get the thing back?
+
+SAM: Sure, if we want it. Do we want it?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god, we’re going to try and get it
+now?
+
+MARISHA: You can disguise yourself. You can
+disguise yourself as Crick!
+
+LAURA: What if we go try to look at the body and
+then we accidentally fall on one of the guards and
+
+we make him drop it and then Nott picks it up and
+runs away?
+
+MARISHA: I’m definitely super injured, but this
+sounds fun.
+
+MATT: They’re heading in the direction of the
+King’s Hall, it looks like.
+
+LAURA: I run up and try to look at the body.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you move and weave into the crowd.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, what is that? Is that a dead body?
+Whoa, I’ve never seen one of those!
+
+MATT: You push up and look, and the body has deep
+lacerations all through the torso and back. It
+
+looks like they cut him until they were sure he
+was dead.
+
+MARISHA: They’re in an alleyway?
+
+MATT: They’re heading down the street right now,
+they’re turning the corner heading down to the
+
+main thoroughfare.
+
+LAURA: Can I trip and fall right in front of the
+guard that’s carrying the thing?
+
+MATT: You can if you want to.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to trip and fall! Right in front
+of him.
+
+TRAVIS: We had it in our hands!
+
+MATT: (laughs) Okay.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to cast Disguise Self as a
+crownsguard and just follow. Just see what’s
+
+happening.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to parkour elf, get on the–
+Elf? Monk, get on the roof of the nearest building.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an acrobatics check, just for the
+hell of it. Just to see how fast you get up there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. 16.
+
+MATT: 16? And make a stealth check, please.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but now they want it, I want it back.
+Because it hums.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+ALL: Whoa.
+
+MATT: All right. As you dart off onto the rooftop
+like Batman, you just vanish amongst the night sky.
+
+And you?
+
+LAURA: I’m tripping and falling in front of the
+guard carrying the thing as I’m trying to look at
+
+the body.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: I’m casting Mage Hand, just in case.
+
+LAURA: God damn it. Why deception? I’m just
+falling.
+
+MATT: This is as you falling forward, “Ah!” and
+make a scene.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: This is just to see how–
+
+LAURA: Oh, well, I rolled a five.
+
+MATT: Okay. So the guy’s– as you fall in front of
+him, he’s like, “Please, miss, move away.” And two
+
+of the guards rush forward and start picking you
+up and shoving you off to the side.
+
+LAURA: Oh, man. I want to trip him.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s Nott? Where are you?
+
+SAM: I’m just following behind. Behind Jester, by
+30 feet or so.
+
+MATT: More people are coming out now and gathering
+the crowd around, to see them pull this dead Crick
+
+through the street. Word’s getting around and
+people are–
+
+LAURA: As they try to pull me away, I’m going to
+try to hook my foot around the ankle of the guard
+
+carrying the thing and, as I’m standing up, try to
+trip him to the ground.
+
+MATT: Okay, I will say make a dexterity check, if
+you don’t mind. Just a straight dexterity check.
+
+TRAVIS: What is the matter with you?
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21! You barely manage to–Your foot doesn’t
+quite reach, but your tail does. As it scoops
+
+around his ankle: (yelps). He falls back and
+lands–
+
+LIAM: Don’t drop it! Don’t drop it!
+
+MATT: And you are disguised as–?
+
+LIAM: As a crownsguard. I was walking alongside.
+
+MATT: Okay. Okay!
+
+MARISHA: Come on, come on, come on!
+
+MATT: Okay. And you catch it. The guy starts
+getting back up.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! That hurt my tail
+so much. I’m so sorry! Are you okay?
+
+MATT: He grabs you by the front of your armor and
+goes, “You need to get out of our way.”
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry. It just looked so inter– I’m
+really impressed with how well you took down that
+
+guy, though!
+
+MARISHA: I follow Caleb as he traces around, but
+on the roof.
+
+MATT: Okay. That guy pushes you off–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m standing with Fjord, in shock and
+horror.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just full, “Ah.”
+
+MATT: He starts looking around the ground.
+
+LIAM: I start doing that thing where I was taking
+steps, but not walking with them. And then I
+
+started walking backwards.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Okay, roll a stealth check, because you’re
+holding a glowing, undulating device.
+
+LIAM: I thought it was, like, black and glowing.
+It’s white and glowing?
+
+MATT: It’s like a deep grey.
+
+TALIESIN: I swear we just had this conversation.
+What changed?
+
+LIAM: Pretty good for me. Pretty good for me.
+That’s 14.
+
+MATT: 14?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Dressed as a crownguard.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I crouch down on the roof above Caleb,
+and I go (bird coo).
+
+SAM: May I–?
+
+MATT: You may.
+
+SAM: Seeing Caleb walk away with the object, I’m
+going to cast Silent Image, and make the image of
+
+the object, glowing, about 30 feet away from them
+on the ground. (dissonant humming)
+
+MATT: So there’s two of them, currently.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I guess.
+
+LIAM: One in my hand, and one on the ground. But
+I’ve got it like this.
+
+MATT: What’s your spell DC?
+
+SAM: My spell DC is– It’s plus– Oh, sorry, hold
+on. Silent Image is– Come on, D&D Beyond.
+
+MATT: What’s your intelligence modifier?
+
+SAM: It’s plus three is my spellcasting modifier.
+
+MATT: Okay, so it’d be 13, would be your spell
+DC.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: Okay. I will say that the two guards that
+noticed you leave with the object, even though
+
+they’re coming over to be like (confused
+stuttering). They see the other object over there,
+
+and they both get confused and look at the two. As
+they’re standing, trying to figure out what to do,
+
+they both split. One goes for the object over
+there; one goes for Caleb. He’s catching up to you
+
+and goes like, “Hey! Hey. We’re going to the–
+We’re going to the hall of the king.”
+
+LIAM: Oh, I just want to get it away from the
+crowd. This thing seems dangerous to me.
+
+MATT: “Right, right. Well, come on.” And the two
+of you turn around; he guides you to turn around.
+
+You’re now walking, trailing behind.
+
+LIAM: Let’s just– a little further back, like
+another ten feet. I don’t know if this is going to
+
+blow. It’s better that it’s just you and me.
+
+MATT: All right. Some other townsfolk are starting
+to, like, walk up to get a look at this object now
+
+that the crownsguard are holding.
+
+LIAM: So what’s around?
+
+MATT: So, you’re off, you’re behind the group. The
+large cluster is moving maybe about 60, 70 feet
+
+ahead of you now. You are back– when it was
+turning onto the main street is where all this
+
+transpired. So you’re a little bit off, past the
+corner of where they are. They’re just starting to
+
+curve out of sight. And you are walking with the
+guard now in that direction, slowing down. The
+
+other object that you caused the illusion of is
+the other way, and the guard has about 100 feet or
+
+so to walk to get to it. And he’s partway there
+and he hasn’t quite learned what the scenario is.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, good, so I cast Friends on this
+crownsguard.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Does that make it drop?
+
+LIAM: No. It’s not concentration.
+
+MATT: What’s the saving throw on it?
+
+LIAM: It is–
+
+SAM: It just gives you–
+
+MATT: Is there a saving throw?
+
+SAM: Advantage to charisma rolls.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, advantage to charisma rolls. If he’s
+not under attack or thinks he’s threatened.
+
+MATT: Oh, all right, cool.
+
+LIAM: Advantage on charisma checks at one creature
+of your choice that isn’t hostile towards you.
+
+MATT: Yeah. And he is not currently hostile
+towards you.
+
+LIAM: So listen. Don’t die for this. I will take
+this. Just walk ahead. This thing blew a hole in
+
+the side of that tower.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check, with advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Okay. 15.
+
+MATT: 15?
+
+LIAM: The first was a one.
+
+MATT: As soon as you say that– Oh, shit! Thank
+god for Friends.
+
+TRAVIS: (stabbing sound)
+
+MATT: As soon as you say that blew the hole in the
+tower, you watch him take an instinctual step
+
+back. “Right. I’ll go catch up.”
+
+LIAM: We’ve seen balls of fire take out half a
+city block.
+
+MATT: “Right.” He darts ahead, looking over his
+shoulder as he starts to try and join up with the crowd.
+
+LIAM: I turn into an alley.
+
+LAURA: (pigeon cooing) Cover it up. Walk away.
+
+TALIESIN: You can turn into an alley?
+
+MATT: Make another stealth check, because there’s
+other folk now that are coming out and are seeing
+
+this. The other guard has just now gotten up to
+the illusion.
+
+LIAM: Wait, are there other guards around me? I’m
+sorry.
+
+MATT: No. There’s the other guard that was paired
+with him that went off to go after the illusion
+
+that Nott had created.
+
+MARISHA: Trying to avoid the paparazzi.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly and I are running after Caleb, since
+we saw the other guard.
+
+SAM: I’m staying put, and as soon as the guard
+gets close, I’ll make it slowly rise up into the
+
+sky, just like 12, 13 feet up.
+
+LIAM: Does that give me advantage?
+
+MATT: What spell is this?
+
+SAM: This is Silent Image. I can move it. I just
+can’t make it make a sound.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so as it drifts up in the air, the
+guard goes, “Uh.” Looks around. All the about 17
+
+or so townsfolk had began to converge to look up
+at it. They’re all like, “Ooh.” They’re all
+
+excited looking at it. It’s definitely distracting
+the current group. The one guard there is like,
+
+“Go, back! Back!” to everybody. He’s starting to
+look nervous, because he doesn’t know why it’s
+
+lifting up, and he’s uncertain about what’s
+happening. You make a stealth check. You’re only
+
+getting it because they’re distracted by that. To
+try and duck into the alley unseen.
+
+LAURA: Am I near him at all? Can I give him a
+blessing?
+
+LIAM: Stealth?
+
+MATT: You’re not quite close enough.
+
+LIAM: It is a nine.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein! Sorry.
+
+MATT: So you duck into the alleyway, not sure if
+you’ve been seen. All right. What are the rest of
+
+you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Molly and I are trucking after where Caleb
+just went through.
+
+TALIESIN: Walking at a very gentle pace in that
+direction.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: I’m on the roofs, been tracking Caleb
+this whole time. On the roof.
+
+MATT: Right. So you guys go behind. As you begin
+to approach, you can see there are two teenage
+
+kids, a boy and a girl, that are dressed nice
+enough. Both are like, “Did you see what he was
+
+"holding? I want to see it.” They both go into the
+alleyway after Caleb as well.
+
+LIAM: Are there any doors or anything in here?
+
+MATT: In this alleyway? There’s no immediate door.
+It looks like there’s a solid wall on one side,
+
+and an arch that leads into a small walkway that
+leads between the buildings. If you keep going,
+
+then it splits off into a T intersection of
+alleyways, right or left.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take the left.
+
+MATT: You take a left? All right.
+
+LIAM: And just keep going.
+
+MARISHA: I drop down in front of the kids
+Batman-style.
+
+TALIESIN: Stay in school!
+
+MARISHA: Don’t take my fucking line before I get a
+chance to say it!
+
+TALIESIN: So sorry. I’m so sorry!
+
+MARISHA: Close, but different motive.
+
+MATT: So you land and they both go, “Ah!”
+
+MARISHA: Whatcha buying, kids?
+
+MATT: “Uh– uh–”
+
+MARISHA: You know that shit will fucking kill you,
+right?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh goddamn it.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check. With advantage.
+
+MARISHA: With advantage?
+
+MATT: With advantage because you just dropped down
+from the sky.
+
+MARISHA: Jesus, a natural one and a four. So
+five.
+
+MATT: Okay. The two kids go (scoffs).
+
+MARISHA: I take out my staff and I say: Do your
+parents know you’re out this late? Or are you
+
+trying to prove something?
+
+MATT: “It’s not worth it. Come on.” The girl,
+(sniffs) “Fine.” They both turn and walk away,
+
+kicking the dirt a little bit.
+
+MARISHA: And just for Taliesin, I say: Stay in
+school!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Perfect.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve know you too long now. I feel
+sick.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: What a perfect stay in school moment.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to stealth and try to track
+back towards Caleb. But make sure no one else is
+
+also following him.
+
+MATT: Okay. All right, so you guys dart off into
+another alleyway. You still do hear guards
+
+shifting, but you start hearing other people are
+talking. People are starting to go back to their
+
+homes. They’re whispering to each other. Listening
+in, you hear phrases being said, like, “The city’s
+
+on lockdown. This is crazy. I’m supposed to be
+leaving tomorrow!”
+
+LAURA: (whispers) This is a lockdown? Shit.
+
+MATT: You start hearing whispers about the gala,
+and like, “How many people were killed?”
+
+“Oh, I heard like 100 people were murdered.”
+“Serves them right, those fucking rich bastards.”
+
+You know, passing conversations.
+
+It’s now, the buzz of the town, even this late at
+night, as people are now either emerging to see
+
+the scene, or are returning to their homes, seeing
+what they have. But the crowd has dissipated, or
+
+at least the crowd has moved on towards the King’s
+Hall, and are probably in the process of trying to
+
+figure out what the fuck happened to the object
+they were carrying. You guys manage to dart off to
+
+the side of the is the eastern end of the
+Interstead Sprawl. You aren’t apparently followed
+
+at the moment, but you’re still holding this
+glowing–
+
+LAURA: Can we put it in the bag?
+
+LIAM: Ordinarily, I would say yes, and I might
+want to put something else in there. But for the
+
+time being, I don’t understand this thing enough.
+
+LAURA: (mumbling) You want to put something else
+in the bag?
+
+SAM: (giggles)
+
+LIAM: Let’s table that for now. I’m worried what
+will happen if this specifically goes into that bag.
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+LIAM: Because that is an extra-dimensional
+pocket.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+LIAM: And I don’t know what this is, and I am
+worried that it could potentially create–
+
+LAURA: A black hole and suck us all in?
+
+LIAM: Sure, let’s go with that. But maybe if we
+could procure a lead box to put this inside of,
+
+that will shield it from any possible searching
+that could happen for it.
+
+TRAVIS: A lead box?
+
+LIAM: A large, lead box, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think we should go back to the
+Song & Supper.
+
+TALIESIN: I have a hooded lantern we can put it in
+in the meantime.
+
+SAM: It’s bigger than that.
+
+MATT: It’s about that large. It’s got two handles
+on each side. It looks like you’re carrying a lantern.
+
+LIAM: We need to find Dolan fast. We need to, I’m
+serious, find a lead box to put this thing in,
+
+because someone’s going to want this very badly.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s split the party. It’s always the
+best idea. No, but seriously, we don’t need
+
+everyone for both.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord and I found an additional cellar,
+where we found that skeleton, behind the Leaky
+
+Tap. Doesn’t look like anybody–
+
+SAM: I’m still doing illusion shit. Have I
+finished that?
+
+MATT: All right, so at this point now, the guard,
+who’s down below, has called over like four other
+
+guards and they’re all at the bottom of it. Some
+of them are getting their crossbows ready to shoot
+
+if it does something.
+
+SAM: I’ll make it inflate, and then Salvador Dalí,
+start dripping. Just like (humming).
+
+MATT: As it swells and then behinds to drip, they
+all start backing away. The guards start pushing
+
+people away. The guy that was originally carrying
+it, with seven other guards, begins to approach
+
+the cluster. They have broken off from the
+procession with the elf body, and they’ve now
+
+joined up with the other guard. He’s like, “There
+it is! Stay back; stay back.” They’re all
+
+nervously waiting for this thing, dripping, and
+doing nothing, and they’re all scared.
+
+SAM: It’s going to start to boil and fizzle into
+steam, and dissipate.
+
+MATT: It does, and there’s a brief moment as
+everyone holds their breath.
+
+TALIESIN: Tinkerbell.
+
+MATT: And you hear a couple of local townsfolk go
+(scattered applause and cheers).
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The guards all look at each other, very
+confused.
+
+MARISHA: (announcer voice) Thank you for joining
+us for Fantasma. The park is now closed.
+
+LIAM: I wish I could be a fly on the wall when
+those wizards hear this story from the
+
+crownsguard, just like–
+
+MATT: (dopey guard voice) “I don’t know. It just
+flew in the air, grew big, and then made sauce and
+
+"disappeared.”
+
+MARISHA: (dopey guard voice) “It was just like
+that cat I kicked the other day.”
+
+LIAM: (disinterested voice) “Yes, very good. Take
+a lollipop from the bowl and get out.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Then I’ll try to rejoin them.
+
+MATT: Okay, you manage to catch up. You dart past
+two teenage kids that are cursing to each other.
+
+They’re both like, “Yeah, that woman was such a
+bitch,” as they pass by.
+
+SAM: I know who they’re talking about.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: At this point, when you guys are discussing
+what to do, you hear the little– Actually, we’ll
+
+say largely you don’t hear, but you see Nott
+appear at the cusp of your circle. You’ve caught
+
+up with the rest of them.
+
+SAM: What’s going on? Where are we going?
+
+LAURA: We’re going back to the Leaky Tap, I
+think.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, how about Beau and I will go to the
+Song & Supper Inn and we’ll meet you at the Leaky Tap.
+
+LAURA: Okay, and we’ll try to find a box to put it
+in.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, remember that additional cellar
+behind the Leaky Tap?
+
+SAM: The secret cellar where I found– nothing.
+Where we found a skeleton.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: I think that might be safe.
+
+LIAM: You think the basement with a dead person is
+safe?
+
+MARISHA: It was super dead. Like, no one’s been
+there for a super long time.
+
+TALIESIN: I like this plan.
+
+LIAM: What is a super long time? Like ten years?
+What is that?
+
+SAM: Long enough for the body to decompose.
+
+MARISHA: Super clean bones. Like, at least, two
+years, I’d say.
+
+LIAM: That’s a conversation for another day. Let’s
+go.
+
+MATT: All right, so the two of you are making your
+way to the Leaky Tap.
+
+TRAVIS: Song & Supper.
+
+MATT: Song & Supper, right. The rest of you guys
+are going to the Leaky Tap, but finding a box on
+
+the way you said?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to see if we can find, like,
+a–
+
+LIAM: Just a shitty hardware store, man.
+
+MATT: At this point, it’s past midnight, and most
+of the market is closed.
+
+LAURA: Maybe Claudia has a lead box at her thing.
+
+MATT: You do still have a glowing beacon in your
+hand.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, I’m going to take my cloak off
+and cover it.
+
+MATT: It does cover it up. It’s a very faint bit
+of glow that comes through the fabric, but it’s
+
+enough where it probably won’t be noticeable from
+a distance.
+
+LIAM: I’ve changed my mind, I think it can wait
+until morning, but for sure– Well, if she has
+
+one, good, but it’s a lot of disarray.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but we need one. What if they try to
+find it, like, tonight, though?
+
+LIAM: Well, then let’s go break into a store and
+get a lead box.
+
+SAM: Wait, wait, why does it need to be lead? I
+mean, you can turn anything into lead, can’t you?
+
+LIAM: Not that particular material.
+
+SAM: Oh. Why does it have to be that particular
+material?
+
+LIAM: Because lead shields things from magical–
+from divination magic.
+
+TALIESIN: Would they sell a lead box at a magic
+shop?
+
+LAURA: Or even at the blacksmith’s shop?
+
+MATT: It’s possible. None of you are very
+well-versed in the ways of blacksmithing or lead
+
+objects, so–
+
+SAM: Pumat would have something.
+
+LIAM: But I would know that when I saw it. I know
+alchemy, I know all sorts of materials.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: We need a safe, is what we need.
+
+MARISHA: I think we can wait until morning,
+though. How’s the city looking? Are people
+
+ransacking? Are there looters?
+
+MATT: There’s no looters, no.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. It’s not that bad.
+
+MATT: No, and at this point now, the streets are
+fairly barren of crownsguard. They’ve all– aside
+
+from the cluster that you saw moving through,
+there’s a whole bunch at the perimeter gates of
+
+the Tri-Spire, and where they would normally be
+posted at the different corners of the streets,
+
+they are not.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s hide it with the skeleton for now.
+We’ll put some of your thread on it?
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s smart.
+
+TALIESIN: And that way it’ll be down there,
+unconnected to us just in case someone finds it,
+
+and if they do, we’ll know the minute they touch
+it.
+
+SAM: Smart.
+
+LIAM: For now.
+
+TALIESIN: For now.
+
+LIAM: Good. That’s it. That is a great idea.
+
+TALIESIN: Teamwork. Fine, let’s do this.
+
+SAM: Look at us! We’re like a team.
+
+MARISHA: Break!
+
+SAM: Break?
+
+MATT: All right, so you two are heading to the
+Song and Supper. Okay, and you guys are heading to
+
+the Leaky Tap? All right. So you head back. While
+you guys are heading that direction, you head to
+
+the Song and Supper. You manage to make your way
+there. It’s still open. It’s fairly empty on the
+
+inside, there’s only two patrons that are present
+at this hour. It seems like the commotion has
+
+drawn most of what clientele would have been in
+there at the moment, and there’s only two patrons
+
+that are both halfway into their cups, and pretty
+drunk or tired at this point. But you look around
+
+and you don’t see Dolan, you don’t see Horris, you
+don’t see Kara.
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody here.
+
+MARISHA: You think the whole damn thing was a
+fucking distraction?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure feels like it, doesn’t it?
+
+MARISHA: I really don’t like being used. Who’s at
+the bar? Is there anyone at the bar?
+
+MATT: Yeah, there is the general barkeep there,
+which would be–
+
+Clay Owens.
+
+MARISHA: Clay Owens?
+
+MATT: Yeah, he’s a balding, portly gentleman,
+middle age or so. As you walk in, he, “Aye, can I
+
+"get you something?”
+
+MARISHA: Hey Clay, how’s it going? Long night?
+
+MATT: “All right. Crazy night, from what I’m
+hearing.”
+
+MARISHA: I know, right? Can I go ahead and get a
+double to help with the night?
+
+MATT: “Aye, certainly. Here you go.”
+
+MARISHA: Had anyone come in tonight? Any one of
+the usuals? Seen Ulog? Seen Kara?
+
+MATT: “No? No. Oh no, Ulog was in earlier this
+evening.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah?
+
+MATT: “He was here for a while, and then left with
+some friends. Think Dolan and his boy were in for
+
+"a bit. They rushed out in a hurry about an hour
+ago?”
+
+MARISHA: All right. You didn’t see them rush out
+with anybody?
+
+MATT: “Just the two of them.”
+
+MARISHA: Mention where they were going?
+
+MATT: “No, they just up and left. Figured they
+were done for the evening. They looked a bit hurried.”
+
+TRAVIS: Not that we’re looking for them, we’re– I
+don’t feel very well and I don’t have money for a
+
+proper physician. I’m sure we could find someone
+else.
+
+MATT: “Maybe. You could probably go to their home.
+That’s usually where they practice out of.”
+
+MARISHA: I think he got food poisoning from the
+finger food at the gala. You should never trust that shit.
+
+MATT: “Better get there soon, then. It’s kind of
+late.”
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Well, thanks, Clay.
+
+TRAVIS: Have a good night.
+
+MATT: “No worries, here’s your drink.” He gives
+you the shot.
+
+MARISHA: Slam it. Let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Want to check his house?
+
+MATT: “I don’t– That’ll be a silver.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I give him a gold.
+
+MATT: He goes “I– uh–”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I’m sorry, I was– It’s just the–
+Just keep it. It’s just the stress of the night.
+
+MATT: “Thank you kindly!”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I’m a little– maybe next time,
+it’s a round on you, right?
+
+MATT: “Of course!” He tucks it away. “Thank you!”
+
+MARISHA: Okay, bye. All right, let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: You feeling that double?
+
+MARISHA: No, why?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh good. That’s good. I just– Damn, that
+was impressive. Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, my tolerance is like–
+
+TRAVIS: Beast mode?
+
+MARISHA: It’s at an unhealthy level. Let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to go by Dolan’s house?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s see if those guys are there.
+
+MATT: Okay, as you guys quietly make your way
+towards Dolan’s house, as you approach, there’s no
+
+light from the inside. Make a perception check,
+both of you.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+TRAVIS: And a 16.
+
+MATT: Nice! You both notice there is a quick bit
+of movement on the inside even though the lights
+
+are out.
+
+MARISHA: Someone’s hiding.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Well, I’ll go up and knock. You want
+to go around back?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, sure, make sure they don’t try and
+run.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I knock and say, it’s Fjord with the
+Mighty Nein, open up!
+
+MATT: There’s a moment pause and the door opens up
+very quickly with just enough space to let you in.
+
+Do you go in?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, you head inside. It’s dark in there,
+but you have your dark vision, so you look around
+
+and it looks like Dolan and Horris are both in
+there. Horris has a candle light with a side hood
+
+that’s keeping it contained to a small area. Dolan
+goes, “Oh, thank god you’re okay! We’re trying–
+
+"We don’t know what to do.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s all right. Take a breath. Is there a
+back door to this place?
+
+MATT: “Through the bedroom.”
+
+TRAVIS: Beau’s going to be coming around the back,
+make sure she gets let in.
+
+MATT: “Okay.” Horris is in the process of taking
+things and putting them into a sack. They are
+
+basically rapidly–
+
+TRAVIS: You’re leaving?
+
+MATT: “We can’t stay here!”
+
+TRAVIS: Why?
+
+MATT: “If they trace anything back to us, they’re
+going to string us up in front of the tower.”
+
+TRAVIS: Take a deep breath, friend. Listen, Ulog
+is dead. He sacrificed himself in a very brave
+
+moment. He threw himself at the Richter, threw a
+gem in her mouth, and exploded in a Fireball.
+
+Listen, I think–
+
+MATT: “Great, so now we have a murder on our
+hands, too.”
+
+TRAVIS: I think–
+
+MATT: Horris goes, “Keep your mouth down!
+Please!”
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t think any of this leads back to
+us. We still have to complete our mission.
+
+We got to make sure that Lord Sutan is implicated in
+this, but right now we’re clean.
+
+MATT: “At this point, that doesn’t even matter. We
+can’t–”
+
+TRAVIS: The Richter’s gone! You have a chance to
+ascend to her seat! Wasn’t that the plan?
+
+MATT: “Yes, but if there is any chance they can
+bring that back to us– maybe we leave town for a
+
+"short time. Maybe just go.”
+
+TRAVIS: Stop. Don’t be a coward in this moment. If
+you want to help this city, if you want to help
+
+make the empire better, you’re going to have to
+stand strong. A little risk is going to come with
+
+this job, especially in that position. You knew
+the risk going into this, didn’t you? To put your
+
+money and your lives at risk?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MATT: 15. He goes, “You’re right, we should–” And
+Horris goes, “No! What, do you want them to go
+
+"ahead and throw us in the dungeon? Is that what
+you want? I understand what you’re saying, but
+
+"none of us knew that the High-Richter was going to
+be dead! I’m sure they have ways of tracing that
+
+"back. What good–” And Dolan goes, “Calm down.
+Please. Maybe he’s right, maybe they don’t have a
+
+"way to bring it back. If we see this through–”
+Horris takes the satchel and sets it on the table,
+
+puts the candle below it and walks up, grabs the
+side of Dolan’s shoulders, and says, “I
+
+"understand, but I don’t want to lose you, and this
+scares the shit out of me.” They both take a
+
+moment and look at each other. Horris looks at you
+and says, “I think you’re right. Neither of us
+
+"know how to talk our way out of the guards if they
+come by, we’re not good liars.”
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. Fortunately, in this
+situation, you don’t have much to lie about. You
+
+were here. You weren’t at the Richter’s. You
+weren’t involved in it in any way. The Knights of
+
+Requital are going to take the fall for this, that
+would be the only tie-in. Ulog is dead.
+
+You have a chance to do some real good here.
+
+MATT: Horris nods. “Okay. Then we stay.” And Dolan
+says, “No, I stay. Just in case things go wrong, I
+
+"want you safe and gone. If this is to be turned
+around, I’m the one they’re going to look to. I’m
+
+"the one who actually has the political influence
+here. I’m the one who can talk and make a
+
+"difference, if that is to be done in the next few
+days, or the next week. If you can just, for a
+
+"while, trust me and just leave. Is that okay?” He
+looks to you, and Horris kind of–
+
+“Fine, but I’ll come back soon.”
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll keep an eye out. I promise. If
+anything needs to be shared between, you can rely
+
+on us to pass a message.
+
+MATT: Dolan nods. “Okay. I’m good. Sorry, Horris,
+I don’t need you for this. It would be stupid for
+
+"both of us, should anything go wrong, to be taken,
+swept up by this. Okay? Trust me.”
+
+TRAVIS: Are you in the house yet?
+
+MARISHA: Nope, I’m still out back.
+
+MATT: She’s still out back.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Fjord? Are you dead?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s Beau.
+
+MATT: Horris rushes off and opens the back door.
+
+MARISHA: While all this was going on, can I do a
+quick little casing, intelligence to see if
+
+there’s any thrown-away trash, burned evidence, or
+anything in the back?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Fucking– fuck you, Gil. Six.
+
+TRAVIS: You love him or you hate him.
+
+LIAM: The big bad of campaign two.
+
+MATT: There’s piles of trash that are pushed in
+the corner. You look through and you don’t find
+
+anything that catches your interest.
+
+TRAVIS: Dolan, I know Horris and you both are
+worried. We’re still going to need that payment.
+
+Our efforts have incurred some damages.
+
+MATT: Of course. I don’t have Kara’s, but I have
+ours and I have Ulog’s. He left that with us
+
+before he left tonight.
+
+MARISHA: Did he let me in?
+
+MATT: Yes. He let you in at this point. Horris
+brought you in. He points over, too, and you can
+
+see there’s a smaller sack and a larger one that’s
+more of a backpack that seems to the be one that
+
+Ulog left. He goes, “Take them, please. That’s of
+no use to us.”
+
+At this point, Horris is letting
+
+Beauregard in, and knowing that it’s just the two
+of you, he puts his hand on your shoulder and
+
+says, “Keep him safe. Get him out if you can,
+please.”
+
+TRAVIS: Anywhere you prefer? Is there a hiding
+spot?
+
+MATT: "I don’t know. Just out of the city. Just
+out of the city for a week. That’s all I ask.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. We can do that.
+
+MATT: A cart rolls by and they all get very
+quiet.
+
+MARISHA: There’s a little town not far from here
+called Alfield. It might actually have use for a
+
+doctor right about now.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau has experience with this area.
+
+MATT: “Maybe. Okay.”
+
+MARISHA: Wait. Before you guys leave. It doesn’t
+matter based on what’s just happened. Is there
+
+anything that you guys know that we didn’t about
+any other of the members of the Knights of
+
+Requital that might have a more invested interest
+in an invasion or getting back at anyone in the
+
+Zauber Spire? Sorry. Yes. That was the right one.
+
+MATT: “Invasion? I’m confused.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m afraid Ulog may have had a larger game
+to play.
+
+MATT: Horris slaps the shoulder of Dolan and says,
+“I told you there was something up with that guy.”
+
+TRAVIS: Why do you say that, Horris?
+
+MATT: “I just didn’t trust him. I mean, it took a
+while for us to be okay with each other, but he
+
+"was always on edge.”
+
+TRAVIS: He left us in charge of finding justice
+for his wife, and we intend to.
+
+MATT: “That’s something.”
+
+MARISHA: Seems like you all had your own
+individual motives for why you were part of the
+
+Knights of Requital. You sure yours was just
+because you wanted to be the High-Richter?
+
+MATT: “Anywhere I could help change the law of the
+town.”
+
+TRAVIS: Do I believe him?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. Hard to read, but he seems forthright.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Let’s help Horris get out of
+the city. Stay low. Stay here.
+
+MATT: “I will. Thankfully, when all this went
+down, we were both in the Song and Supper, so at
+
+"least we have an alibi. I’ve just never done
+something like this before. Pardon my nerves.” You
+
+see his hands are literally shaking, and you see
+notice now he is very nervous.
+
+TRAVIS: Have a drink. It’ll help with that.
+
+MATT: “I will.” He goes off to the corner and
+pulls out a small glass bottle of liquor. He comes
+
+over, and him and Horris give a very tight hug to
+each other, and then separate. Dolan sits down,
+
+puts the drink on the table. “Thank you.“
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. We’ll have to regroup, and
+we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
+
+MATT: "Go.”
+
+TRAVIS: We leave.
+
+MATT: Horris comes with you guys towards the Leaky
+Tap. You guys make your way to the Leaky Tap.
+
+LAURA: Yes, we do.
+
+TALIESIN: Before we go in, we’re going to go to
+the basement.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go upstairs to try to talk to
+Claudia.
+
+LIAM: I will say that on the walk, I would
+instantly Identify the stone.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you will cast–?
+
+LIAM: Identify.
+
+SAM: The stone?
+
+LIAM: From Sutan’s house.
+
+MATT: Oh, from Sutan’s house, I got you. Yeah.
+Here you go. A sending stone. One of two. You do
+
+not know where the other one is.
+
+SAM: Oh, intrigue.
+
+LAURA: Like we had? Like Vox Machina had?
+
+SAM: Who? What? Who are you talking about?
+
+LAURA: Oh, where you speak into it. Not like where
+you hold onto it and you transport?
+
+MATT: No, not that. That was a gate stone. This is
+essentially a means of communicating between two
+
+stones.
+
+LIAM: Once-a-day walkie-talkie.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You head down into the basement area beneath
+the Leaky Tap. Once again, the guard is pretty
+
+sparse. You’ll see one guard walk past, but their
+numbers seem to have been ushered elsewhere in the
+
+city. So you make it down there and you take
+enough time that you eventually get the lock back
+
+open that you left. You head down into basement.
+It’s exactly how you left it.
+
+SAM: This is the place. Are you with us?
+
+LIAM: Yes, I am.
+
+SAM: This is the place I was talking to you about.
+The skeleton’s right over there.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we put it behind the skeleton.
+
+LIAM: I go take a look at this skeleton. I would
+like to try to ascertain how long this fucker has
+
+been here.
+
+MATT: Make a medicine check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Not great at all, like all my skill
+rolls. Seven.
+
+MATT: A seven? Hard to tell. I mean, just looking
+at the level of decomposition, it’s been here a while.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I get anything from it? Is it a
+normal human skeleton?
+
+TRAVIS: “Do I get anything from it?” You creepy
+bastard.
+
+MATT: Make a medicine check to see if you can
+ascertain the creature type.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+MATT: It definitely doesn’t appear to be anything
+beyond humanoid. The size, the shape of the
+
+skeleton, it’s a standard humanoid skeleton, but
+you’re not able to tell anything beyond that.
+
+LIAM: Here’s the thing. We can hide this here.
+It’s a calculated risk, which I am fan of,
+
+generally. But my thread, my magic would let me
+know if someone– no, never mind.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+LIAM: No. I can put a magical lock on the door to
+this basement as well. As well as an alarm.
+
+TALIESIN: An alarm and a lock?
+
+SAM: What would that do?
+
+LIAM: Well, the thread will allow me me to know if
+someone I didn’t want to be in here came in here.
+
+(distant clattering)
+
+MATT: That’s upstairs.
+
+LAURA: That’s me upstairs,
+talking to Claudia.
+
+And the spell will stop your average Joseph from
+coming in here.
+
+TALIESIN: I like this plan. It’s a good plan.
+
+SAM: All right. Very smart, as always.
+
+LIAM: But, you know, I think you and I should
+sleep down here tonight, actually.
+
+SAM: With the skelly?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re going to need you upstairs
+for some identification. I think it would be less
+
+suspicious sleeping down here.
+
+LIAM: I worry– well, I’ll tell you my concerns
+and that is that this thing is beyond
+
+comprehension, even. And the desire to get it back
+is going to be great. This– and I pull out the
+
+Sending Stone– is just a stone that I stole from
+Sutan’s house. This I’m not worried about. Would
+
+you put this in your backpack, please?
+
+LAURA: I’m not with you. I’m upstairs trying to
+get a hold of Claudia.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you’re not with us? I’ll have to ask
+Jester to put this in her backpack.
+
+TALIESIN: So noted.
+
+LIAM: But this thing was worth blowing up a tower
+for.
+
+TALIESIN: And if someone spies on it, I don’t want
+them to see you with it.
+
+SAM: If we slept in our rooms–
+
+LIAM: You cannot spy on a thing, as far as I know.
+You can spy on a place. You can spy on a person.
+
+TALIESIN: You can spy on anything, I imagine. I
+mean, it’s magic, right?
+
+LIAM: This is why I want the lead box.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that really going to work?
+
+SAM: But what if someone breaks in and we’re here?
+Then we’re attached to these objects. I mean, I’ll
+
+sleep down here if you want. Maybe we can get rid
+of the skelly first.
+
+TALIESIN: It’ll take 20 seconds to get here from
+the second that alarm goes off.
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: One night.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Well, let’s hide it.
+
+TALIESIN: Well.
+
+LIAM: Ja. From normal people. I put the same
+shitty rag on it that was on it before.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a general survival check to pull
+things from the surrounding–
+
+LIAM: Two plus three. That’s five.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I help with this?
+
+MATT: Sure. You look at it, the job he did, and
+you’re like, “Yeah, I can probably do a little better.”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I can! Is this survival? Seven.
+
+MARISHA: Always have someone check your work.
+
+LIAM: Molly and Caleb put the skull on top of it
+together.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. Essentially, you didn’t do a
+masterful job in completely camouflaging it, but
+
+it looks like it’s the rest of the objects that
+looks dusty and left there.
+
+LIAM: Did you say there were crates down here
+too?
+
+MATT: There were some barrels. There was an open
+crate with nothing in it. It’s a dusty, unused cellar.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s put it behind the skeleton. If I
+came down here, I’d look in the crates. It’s the
+
+first thing I’d do.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: You would– Oh. Never mind, I’m not there.
+
+MATT: So you hide it up and put it off to the
+side.
+
+TALIESIN: I look in the crate.
+
+MATT: You look in the crate? You look inside and
+see a fairly rat-eaten sack of rice grains that
+
+have spilled out.
+
+TALIESIN: Awesome.
+
+MATT: As well as a lot of rat droppings in the
+crate. It looks like some of the wood at the
+
+bottom has been chewed through as well.
+
+LAURA: I’m not there.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. Never mind. Damn. That was good
+thought, though.
+
+LAURA: That was a really good thought.
+
+MATT: Anything else, guys?
+
+TALIESIN: Thread. Lock.
+
+SAM: What’s wrong, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I really think we should stay down here with
+it.
+
+SAM: All right. I’m game.
+
+TALIESIN: One of you, if not both of you.
+
+LIAM: Why don’t you and I stay down here for the
+night? You have anything you want me to identify,
+
+leave it, I can do that. You know what I have, I’m
+not leaving.
+
+SAM: What? I mean, we don’t know what Fjord and
+the grumpy one have discovered. Maybe we should go
+
+upstairs and reconnoiter with them and then come
+down here, when it’s time for beddy-bye.
+
+LIAM: I will stay with this thing. You go up. When
+they come back, you come back down. My gut tells
+
+me to stay close to this thing.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll stay with you, then.
+
+LIAM: I’m glad.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: So we’re going to go in and out of this
+room several times tonight?
+
+LIAM: The entrance to this is in the back of the
+building, right?
+
+MATT: It is, yes. It’s in the alley.
+
+TALIESIN: That in no way is suspicious, but that’s
+fine.
+
+LIAM: Well, Nott, you go up. You can just Message
+me.
+
+SAM: Oh yes, I can do that. Should I do that and
+then come back later?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and you come down here.
+
+SAM: You’re just going to stay here in this dank,
+dark room with a skeleton by yourself, no dinner.
+
+All right.
+
+MARISHA: Sounds like half the clubs in LA.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll be back in less than an hour.
+
+TRAVIS: We got a quesadilla.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+All right. I’ll go up and see what they are saying.
+
+MATT: While this is happening–
+
+LIAM: When they leave, I’m going to take the big
+item and put it on my person. I’m going to hold
+
+it, actually.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you’re holding it there, it’s
+strangely warm to the touch. The more time you
+
+spend with it holding it there.
+
+LIAM: I am not, like, looking into the abyss. I
+just don’t understand it and I’m just holding it there.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: Okay. Let me see here. Okay.
+
+LIAM: Jester had all the shit, right?
+
+LAURA: I had all the shit!
+
+MATT: Yep. So you head back up into the Leaky Tap
+Tavern. There’s a handful of patrons, a lot of
+
+them are talking or whispering about the events
+tonight. Talking about, “The tower’s still up
+
+"there! It’s crazy!” The general
+conversation-hubbub through the room.
+
+LAURA: I go to the barkeep. Is Claudia awake?
+
+MATT: “Probably in her office.”
+
+LAURA: Okay! I go and knock on the door.
+
+MATT: Okay. “Who is it?”
+
+LAURA: It’s me, Jester!
+
+MATT: “Um, w-what do you want?”
+
+LAURA: Claudia! When we were over at the Gala, we
+saw things that were going on, it was crazy, a
+
+tower exploded and then all hell broke loose. Did
+you know someone tried to steal my stuff?
+
+MATT: “I did not know that. My apologies.”
+
+LAURA: Do you have maybe a safe or something?
+Because I don’t feel safe carrying around my
+
+jewelry anymore with me.
+
+MATT: “No, not on me. Well–
+
+"Come back in the morning,
+I might have something for you.”
+
+LAURA: Claudia, are you naked? Why won’t you open
+this door?
+
+SAM: Flush.
+
+MATT: “No, I am busy at the moment.”
+
+LAURA: Is everything okay?
+
+MATT: “Everything is just fine.”
+
+LAURA: Claudia. Blink once– knock– say you’re
+not okay if you’re not okay because you sound weird.
+
+MATT: “I’m fine. Do not worry.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. But you do have a safe I can put my
+jewelry in now?
+
+MATT: “It is currently in use, but I can swap it
+out. How long do you need it for?”
+
+LAURA: Well, I was going to put it in my room for
+as long as we’re here, if that’s okay with you.
+
+MATT: “Okay, then come back in the morning. I will
+have it cleared out.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Then it will be at use for you.”
+
+LAURA: Are you having sex?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to come in? Are you okay?
+
+MATT: “I’m okay.”
+
+LAURA: You sound really weird. I try the
+doorknob.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s locked.
+
+LIAM: Cue the horror strings. (violin
+screeching)
+
+TALIESIN: I have had this roommate.
+
+MARISHA: I was just about to say, Jester’s
+everyone’s little sister when you’re a senior in
+
+high school.
+
+LIAM: Jester’s face pushes through the door!
+
+LAURA: I get down on my hands and knees and try to
+look. Can I look under the door?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage
+because you are looking through a tiny little gap
+
+in the floor.
+
+TALIESIN: Whoa.
+
+LAURA: Okay, well the first one was really good.
+
+Perception. Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine? You see there’s light in there and you
+can see Claudia darting back and forth behind her
+
+desk, moving very rapidly and with haste. Is
+grabbing things and seems to be writing something
+
+feverishly. But you don’t actually see her, you
+just see the bottom of her feet moving back and forth.
+
+MARISHA: Why are so many fucking people trying to
+skip town?
+
+TRAVIS: Shady motherfuckers.
+
+LAURA: Claudia, what are you doing?
+
+MATT: She stops in the space. “Um, I’m–”
+
+LAURA: Is everything okay?
+
+MATT: “Everything’s fine.”
+
+LAURA: Did you see the tower explode?
+
+MATT: “I heard about it.”
+
+LAURA: Can you let me in?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TRAVIS: That cuteness, man.
+
+TALIESIN: There should be an annoyance check. This
+is so great.
+
+LIAM: Give her advantage. Oh my god.
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+MATT: 15. The door opens up and you can see
+Claudia looking as pristine as ever. Hair, makeup,
+
+everything done perfectly. “Come in, quickly.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Closes the door, brings you inside.
+
+LIAM: Can I come in now?
+
+MARISHA: Don’t take no for an answer.
+
+LIAM: How about now?
+
+MATT: “I am aware that you and your team were
+involved in something this evening. Am I correct?”
+
+LAURA: Well, we were at the Gala because we were
+having some fun.
+
+MATT: “But you are not in any way, shape or form
+perhaps doing a burglary and job breaking in for
+
+"the Knights of Requital, yes?”
+
+LAURA: Who are that?
+
+SAM: Two floors below we’re putting a skull–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Who are that?
+
+LAURA: That’s actually a really good deception.
+21.
+
+MATT: She looks at you confused and goes, “Well,
+regardless, your friends are involved in something
+
+"that as a precaution, as I have been housing
+certain meetings out of friendship with an
+
+"individual, there is danger that I might be pulled
+up in this. So I am preparing to sell off the tavern.”
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Wait a minute, but wouldn’t that
+draw attention to the tavern?
+
+MATT: “It will only draw attention to me.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: She walks over and finishes tidying
+paperwork on the side.
+
+LAURA: Who are you selling it to?
+
+MATT: Make a general charisma roll. Just for the
+hell of it.
+
+LAURA: Well see, this is why I– oh no. Ten?
+
+MATT: Ten? She goes, “To a friend.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Friends are good. Can I have that safe
+though?
+
+MATT: (sighs) She kneels down at the side of the
+room and there’s a cloth put over a small table,
+
+like an end table, and she removes the flowers
+from it, pulls the cloth off and it’s a safe.
+
+LAURA: What’s it made out of?
+
+MATT: “Out of iron. What else would you make a
+safe out of?”
+
+LAURA: Oh. Okay.
+
+MATT: She pulls out a key and unlocks it, brings
+out a couple of bags of coin, brings out a couple
+
+other bags of something. You don’t hear any noise,
+the rustling as she pulls it out. Sets them off to
+
+the side, looks at you while she does so the whole
+time like–
+
+LAURA: Are those drugs?
+
+MATT: “Here’s your safe.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Hands it to you. It’s small. It’s heavy, but
+you’re pretty strong. “All right.”
+
+LAURA: Well, all right. Will you be gone in the
+morning, then?
+
+MATT: “Probably.”
+
+LAURA: Oh no! But Claudia, I really like you.
+
+MATT: “Well, I like you too. But that’s okay.
+Don’t worry. The woman I’m selling this to is also
+
+"a very good person and a good friend.”
+
+LAURA: What’s her name?
+
+MATT: There’s a brief pause, glances over at the
+paperwork on the table–
+
+LAURA: I look down at the paperwork on the table,
+too.
+
+MATT: “Lauren. Lauren Schvine.”
+
+LAURA: Is that what it says?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+LAURA: (giggles) Okay. Lauren. That’s a good name.
+I heard when we were coming back that they were
+
+putting the city on lockdown, so if you’re going
+to leave, you should probably do it quickly.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate the information. I should be
+okay.”
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+MATT: “Good night.”
+
+LAURA: Good night. Thank you, Claudia, for all of
+this.
+
+MATT: “Not a problem.”
+
+LAURA: I walk very slowly out of the room and keep
+looking over my shoulder as I’m doing it and
+
+smiling back at her.
+
+MATT: She watches and waits, sees you smiling,
+arms crossed on the desk, patiently waiting.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to put this in my room,
+thank you.
+
+MATT: The door closes behind you and you hear a
+(heavy sigh) audibly on the other side of the
+
+door. So as the rest of you begin to catch up and
+gather for the evening, we’re going to take a break!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Be back here in a few minutes to pick up
+from that point. We do have tonight’s Wyrmwood
+
+giveaway. That went all sorts of weird,
+interesting ways. Oh man.
+
+MARISHA: We almost killed a guy and then someone
+else killed a guy, we still reaped all the
+
+rewards. Good for us, guys. Good for us.
+
+MATT: Not all of them.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: There’s a lot of interesting ways that could
+have gone. All right, so we have the black walnut
+
+deck box from our friends at Wyrmwood here. Also,
+apparently comes with a Magic the Gathering pack.
+
+These have been in all the boxes so you get a
+little gift in there. This will go out to one
+
+winner. You have to enter Twitch chat, starting
+now. You can only put the word in once, or you’ll
+
+be disqualified, but the word tonight is
+“Threats.” T-H-R-E-A-T-S. Come into the Twitch
+
+chat, enter that. Once again, only, unfortunately,
+available to people in the United States and
+
+Canada, excluding Quebec. We’re trying to figure
+out how to fix that in the future, but weird laws
+
+in giveaways. Anyway, we’ll be back here in a few
+minutes. Much love and we’ll see you soon.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. Way late on that one.
+
+LIAM: It was like a Pokémon, though.
+
+MATT: There you go. We have a winner. The winner
+for this evening is Iraginger. Iraginger, congratulations.
+
+MARISHA: Ey, represent!
+
+MATT: We’ll get that box to you ASAP. Well done.
+All right, so, bringing us back into the game, you
+
+all begin to converge back in the Leaky Tap. The
+party has reassembled, aside from you, who are
+
+staying down in the basement.
+
+LIAM: Hanging out with my new friend.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: Yorick.
+
+MATT: As you guys all gather together, what do you
+do?
+
+LAURA: Are we in a room? We should be in a room
+instead of in the–
+
+TRAVIS: Not downstairs?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Upstairs, yeah. Convene in-room.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s money and loot. Let’s take a
+look.
+
+TRAVIS: Convene in the girls’ room. It’s bound to
+be cleaner.
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: It’s all right.
+
+LAURA: We did have a pillow fight.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s down feathers all over the
+place.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s pretty (blows out lips).
+
+SAM: So we’ve got some stuff. What did we get?
+
+LAURA: (heavy thud) Nott, what is this made out
+of?
+
+SAM: This? I will taste it. I will lick the safe.
+
+MATT: It’s very… iron-y? It’s like licking a nine
+volt battery.
+
+LAURA: Is it made of lead?
+
+SAM: It’s ironic. It’s not what we want.
+
+LAURA: I really was trying to get a lead box.
+
+SAM: You did very well considering it’s after
+midnight and you got a metal box for free.
+
+LAURA: It’s true.
+
+SAM: I don’t know, can I tell it’s lead– I mean,
+iron, not lead?
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check. Because you are
+an alchemist, I’ll give you advantage on it.
+
+SAM: Okay. Just a straight intelligence check?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Okay, yeah. This is very definitively
+iron. You’ve tasted iron, iron filings and things
+
+of that similar nature and it has the same twinge
+to the flavor.
+
+SAM: Oh. It’s a very well-made safe.
+
+LAURA: Well, we can still put stuff in it if we
+want to.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s Caleb? He downstairs?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, where is Caleb?
+
+SAM: He’s downstairs for now, but I am in constant
+communication with him.
+
+MARISHA: What’s the last thing he said?
+
+SAM: I take out my piece of wire and I do my
+incantation and I whisper to it and I say: Did the
+
+skeleton come to life and kill you? Please respond
+to this message.
+
+LIAM: Everybody is dead down here.
+
+SAM: He’s a prankster.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: He’s good ol’ Cay.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s down there babysitting our item?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to want to take a look at
+these boots. These daggers.
+
+LAURA: Hey, Claudia was aware that we guys were in
+league with the Knights of Requital.
+
+MARISHA: Makes sense.
+
+LAURA: Claudia says she’s selling the tavern.
+
+MARISHA, TALIESIN, and TRAVIS: What?!
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Like tonight.
+
+MARISHA: How much?
+
+LAURA: To a girl named Lauren Spizzick or
+something.
+
+MARISHA: Shpizich?
+
+TRAVIS: Spinach.
+
+SAM: Lauren Spinach.
+
+LAURA: So she said she was selling it, and I said,
+“Wouldn’t that draw attention to the tavern,
+
+"though?” and she said no, just her. But if it
+does, and she knows, then maybe it could lead the
+
+guards to us, though.
+
+SAM: Should we change to a different hotel?
+
+LAURA: It might be smart, but that might be–
+
+SAM: Wait, she was selling this place because of
+us?
+
+MATT: As a note, so you guys recall, Horris is
+with you.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what?
+
+LAURA: Wait, Horris came with us?
+
+MATT: Horris came along with you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s my bad. Yeah, he did.
+
+MARISHA: I thought we just sent him on his way.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we forgot to qualify that.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, fuck! I thought–
+
+LIAM: Make believe is tricky, guys.
+
+LAURA: Horris is in this room right now?
+
+MATT: Horris is in the room with you.
+
+LAURA: Aw, come on, man.
+
+SAM: I should put on my pants.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s not be hasty.
+
+MATT: We’ll say, for the purposes of this, the
+door now opens to the room and Horris comes in
+
+after a drink to steady his nerves and goes,
+“Hello.”
+
+MARISHA: Did you bring me that drink? Oh, sit
+down.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, jeez, man. No sense of humor right
+now, he’s in shock, all right?
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Horris, we’re going to get you out of the
+city as soon as possible. Is there a destination
+
+you wanted to send him to, or point him in the
+right direction?
+
+MARISHA: I was mentioning Alfield, but really,
+it’s up to him, I guess. I don’t care.
+
+TRAVIS: Have any spots in mind that you can lay
+low for a while?
+
+SAM: Why does he need to leave the city?
+
+MARISHA: We walked in on him and his boy trying to
+skip town.
+
+TRAVIS: They were understandably rattled. It’s
+understandable, but Dolan’s going to try and stay
+
+to make the city a better place. Horris is going
+to remove a bit of the risk for himself for a bit.
+
+MATT: “Just for a little bit.”
+
+LAURA: You should go to the coast. You should get
+out of the empire.
+
+TRAVIS: It is lovely by the coast.
+
+MARISHA: Well, he said he only wanted to be gone a
+week, though, right?
+
+MATT: “About a week or two, until things–”
+
+SAM: Why do you need to leave? Who’s suspicious of
+you?
+
+MATT: “We don’t know yet. It’s just a
+precautionary measure.”
+
+MARISHA: You do know that leaving town itself is
+suspicious in its own right, right? Just throwing
+
+it out there.
+
+MATT: “We have an alibi, but if we both stay and
+we get found out, we both get arrested.”
+
+MARISHA: But you have an alibi. It’s hard to have
+an alibi when you mysteriously–
+
+MATT: “What do you want me to do, then?”
+
+MARISHA: I don’t give a shit what you–
+
+MATT: “She who questions everything and offers no
+answers. What do you want me to do?”
+
+TRAVIS: I think what Beau is trying to say is that
+you’ve made a wise choice in removing yourself for
+
+a bit. Did you happen to know the owner of The
+Leaky Tap? She’s apparently selling it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Claudia. Also skipping town.
+
+MATT: “I don’t blame her, either.”
+
+LAURA: I don’t know if she’s leaving town. She’s
+just selling the tavern.
+
+TRAVIS: She’s selling it? Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: She knew we were holding all those
+backroom meetings, right? She helps you guys quite
+
+a lot.
+
+MATT: “As far as Dolan told me, yeah.”
+
+TRAVIS: Did you want to get out of town tonight,
+or did you want to wait until the morning, perhaps?
+
+MATT: “I can wait until the morning, if you don’t
+mind me crashing with you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Not at all. We have room in Molly and I’s
+room.
+
+SAM: You can take Caleb and my room.
+
+LAURA: Why? Are you not going to–
+
+SAM: We’ll be spending the night somewhere else.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Where?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’re not going to speak of that
+in mixed company, but they’re dealing with other problems.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll lead Horris to our room and let
+him get comfortable. I’ll be back.
+
+LIAM: Just a quick aside, while all of this is
+going on. I place the thing in my lap and I pick
+
+up the skull. Oh, so many secrets, huh, Yorick?
+
+(gravelly) “Maybe you should tear it off your chest.”
+I don’t think that’s a good idea.
+
+“It’s driving you crazy.”
+Maybe not yet.
+
+“It’s probably a good idea.”
+You’re funny.
+
+TRAVIS: (gravelly) Red rum.
+
+MATT: Seriously.
+
+SAM: I get to spend the night with that guy.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you’re going down there.
+
+MATT: All right. Anything else you want to work
+out, discuss, or plan?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s divvy up the loot. I’ve worked it
+out, that’s 19 platinum apiece, and two gold
+
+pieces apiece.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, fucking pay day!
+
+TALIESIN: With two platinum left over.
+
+MARISHA: How many platinum? 19?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: That’s a lot of platinum.
+
+MARISHA: And two gold?
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+SAM: I’ll take Caleb’s share and give it to him.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so we also got– let’s look. This
+sword.
+
+TRAVIS: What kind of sword is it?
+
+MATT: It’s roughly longsword length. It has this
+curved, hooked edge to it. The blade looks like it
+
+would not just slash, but tear as it went through
+flesh as well. It’s pretty wicked-looking.
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty wicked-looking.
+
+TRAVIS: Does it look like it has any magical aura
+emanating from it?
+
+MATT: I don’t know, can you sense magic?
+
+TRAVIS: Not officially.
+
+MATT: Then you do not know.
+
+SAM: I can take it downstairs later and have
+Cay-Cay take a look at it.
+
+TRAVIS: Cay-Cay, not to be confused with Kiki.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: We also have these really super cool spiky
+boots.
+
+TRAVIS: What do those do?
+
+LAURA: I think you put them on your feet and they
+protect them.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, put those boots on.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, all right. How do they look?
+
+MATT: They look nice.
+
+TALIESIN: I think they clash a bit, but–
+
+LAURA: I don’t think they go with your pants.
+
+TALIESIN: No, not really.
+
+TRAVIS: You get an extra spring in your step?
+What’s it do?
+
+MATT: You take a moment and you feel… alert.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re caffeinated. Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t expect you to wear platforms.
+
+LAURA: It’s weird to see the bottom of your pants
+because you normally have those thigh-highs on.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, they’re very comfortable and they
+keep everything else clean.
+
+LAURA: Yes. Okay, we also have these three
+daggers, which look like– Are they ceremonial? Do
+
+they look–
+
+MATT: They look functional. They’re similar in
+design to the longsword. They’re not quite as
+
+intricate, and they’re much simpler. They don’t
+have the same grooves carved into the hilt, and
+
+they look like fairly decent daggers for either
+stabbing or throwing.
+
+LAURA: I lick one, then I lick the safe. Is it
+iron, then?
+
+MATT: You’re not certain what material they’re
+made from. It’s not the same as the– What are you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m playing with the longsword.
+
+MATT: It’s got a great balance.
+
+LAURA: Oh, and we don’t have the armor anymore, we
+gave it back to him.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the armor you gave back, and then was
+scooped up by the Crownsguard.
+
+MARISHA: I look at Molly and I take out my bo
+staff. I say: Parry! and I go whack with the
+
+sword. See if anything happens.
+
+MATT: Okay. Do you attack him?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Roll for an attack.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, I told him I was attacking.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to parry.
+
+MARISHA: 20 total.
+
+TALIESIN: Boy, that hits!
+
+MATT: You attempt to parry cooly, and she hits you
+in the right eye.
+
+TALIESIN: Ow!
+
+MARISHA: Oh sorry, I thought we were just
+wrestling a little.
+
+TALIESIN: I hit her with the flat of the blade.
+
+MARISHA: Ow! Fuck!
+
+TALIESIN: Any effect?
+
+MARISHA: Do I feel anything?
+
+MATT: Pain.
+
+SAM: Why don’t I just have Caleb look–
+
+TALIESIN: Any effect?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, a fucking headache!
+
+TALIESIN: My god, it works! It’s amazing!
+
+SAM: I’ll take the daggers, unless you can use
+them to throw, I can throw them at things, I think?
+
+MARISHA: Do the daggers seem special?
+
+MATT: The daggers seem to be simpler in design.
+You’re not sure if they’re special or not. I mean,
+
+the only person who can detect magic is not in the
+room.
+
+LIAM: We’re going to drag this out as long as
+possible.
+
+MATT: I know!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take one of the daggers and
+I throw it against the windowsill.
+
+TRAVIS: Window-seal?
+
+SAM: That’s how they say it in Kentucky.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack.
+
+TRAVIS: Window-seal.
+
+MARISHA: Seal. Damn it, that’s true. What did you
+say?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Don’t fuck me, Gil. 20. Sorry,
+22.
+
+MATT: 22? Yeah. (vibrating impact) It sticks to
+the bottom of the sill; it doesn’t quite hit the
+
+glass, it manages to hit its mark and stay there,
+like a dagger.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, that was pretty awesome, right?
+
+SAM: I think that was more you than the dagger,
+though.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+TRAVIS: Why are y'all staying in another place
+tonight?
+
+SAM: For safety.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Because of the thing?
+
+SAM: (loudly) Yes, because of–
+
+MATT: Horris isn’t in the room anymore.
+
+SAM: Oh. All right.
+
+LAURA: You take your pants back off.
+
+SAM: Yeah, because of the thing. Caleb’s idea.
+
+TRAVIS: You need any help? Backup?
+
+SAM: I’m the help.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+MARISHA: I think what Fjord meant was: can y'all
+be trusted?
+
+LAURA: Exactly. Will you send a message to Caleb
+and say, “Are we going to leave everyone else
+
+"tonight and steal the big ball?” Send a message to
+him saying that.
+
+MARISHA: Very valid question.
+
+SAM: All right, sure. I take out my wire, I do my
+incantation. I send a Message to him, I say:
+
+Caleb, are we going to abscond with the
+dodecahedron in the dead of night? You can reply
+
+to this message, and only I can hear your reply.
+
+LIAM: Tell them I’m not going to run off with it.
+
+SAM: Yes, we are.
+
+LAURA: Damn it!
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, why? Why are you going to–
+
+SAM: We’re not going to steal it! He’s scared of
+that thing, why would we take it away from you?
+
+MARISHA: Seems like he’s taken a few things that
+he’s afraid of.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, to be honest, that evening started
+to take a turn before the Richter showed up. Do
+
+you know Caleb to be sticky-fingered like
+yourself?
+
+SAM: We do what we need to do to survive.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what happened?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, remember we were trying to leave no
+trace? Caleb was the architect of the plan, and
+
+there was a scroll that looked like it might have
+some magic to it, and he wanted to take it with.
+
+SAM: So what? The plan was to leave no trace,
+not take nothing. He was very clear at the outset
+
+that we were doing this for money.
+
+MARISHA: You do realize that missing things mean
+leaving a trace, right?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: We were right there at the end, we were at
+the finish line.
+
+SAM: We caused a giant explosion, we destroyed a
+rug, we broke into two different places, Mollymauk
+
+was seen by guards outside of both; there was
+plenty of traces we left behind. I opened a box
+
+that froze me for an hour!
+
+LAURA: I know, and I saved you!
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m pretty sure someone’s going to
+notice that that box has been opened!
+
+MARISHA: You realize you’re not helping your case,
+right?
+
+SAM: I’m just saying, him taking a scroll is small
+potatoes.
+
+MARISHA: We’d already fucked up the rug, we
+probably shouldn’t fuck up anyone else’s house. We
+
+were already implicated at one place, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, it’s just a little reckless,
+wouldn’t you say?
+
+SAM: What Caleb does is well thought-out and
+always intentional and smart.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re a remarkable judge of character,
+you know that?
+
+MARISHA: Are you aware of what Stockholm Syndrome
+is?
+
+SAM: Stockholm Syndrome?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: No, I’m not. Explain that to me.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s an Emon thing.
+
+MATT: Gerald Stockholm.
+
+SAM: What are you implying?
+
+TALIESIN: I think what Beau is trying to imply
+is– I’m going to use something a little more
+
+basic. Do you know the story of the scorpion and
+the turtle?
+
+SAM: Sure. The scorpion rides on the turtle’s
+back…
+
+TALIESIN: And then what happens?
+
+SAM: Whatever Caleb says happens next.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: The scorpion rides on the turtle’s back
+across a river. The scorpion stings the turtle,
+
+they both drown. What is the moral of this story?
+
+LAURA: Don’t be a scorpion.
+
+SAM: Stay away from the water, is what I take from
+it!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s true, but the full point of this,
+and the point I’m trying to make, is that with a
+
+group like this with very untrustworthy people,
+you’ve got to trust each other– because you have
+
+to trust somebody. You can’t trust not anybody,
+because you’re just alone.
+
+SAM: All right, so you are all apologizing for not
+trusting Caleb’s judgment.
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t trust you.
+
+LAURA: I trust you!
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve tried to steal from us twice.
+
+SAM: Not you.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve tried to steal from us. Not
+me, us. This is where the circle has to start.
+
+We will support you in doing some ridiculous
+stuff, but you have to keep it outside.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re looking out for you, I mean.
+
+TALIESIN: And that means sometimes you can’t do
+the thing you want because it’s going to be better
+
+for everybody else, and sometimes everybody else
+is wrong, but you have to go with it.
+
+SAM: All right, and what exactly have you done to
+earn our trust?
+
+TALIESIN: Nothing, there’s been no earned trust–
+
+LAURA: I saved you!
+
+TALIESIN: I actually did take a crossbow bolt,
+knocked myself unconscious, trying to save your life!
+
+SAM: I’m not talking about life or death.
+
+TALIESIN: I saved your life!
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t matter, wait.
+
+TALIESIN: And it doesn’t matter, we start from
+scratch! This is where it starts!
+
+SAM: I’ve saved your lives, Caleb has saved your
+lives–
+
+TALIESIN: When?
+
+SAM: Tonight. Caleb got that dodeca-fuckballs out
+of there by himself.
+
+TALIESIN: We didn’t want it!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, hang on, before we turn this into a
+pissing contest–
+
+SAM: He has slain things, he has saved things, and
+I have as well! If we’re talking about trust, what
+
+on earth have any of you people done to earn our
+trust? What have you done that we have requested? Ever?
+
+LAURA: I let you have a ring.
+
+SAM: I like you.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not about earning each other’s
+trust. Look, I have worked with some skeevey
+
+motherfuckers in my day, very unsavory types. But
+you know what I trust? That they have their own
+
+self-preservation, right? So I can trust that
+these motherfuckers don’t want to get caught, and
+
+that they don’t want to die at the end of the day.
+If you want to do something skeevey on the side,
+
+let me know, I will help you out. But when we are
+all working as a team, I don’t want your actions
+
+to get me in fucking trouble.
+
+TALIESIN: So if you really don’t trust us, I’ll
+happily take that 40 platinum back, right now.
+
+MARISHA: We don’t have to trust each other, but
+when we are working on a job together, I want to
+
+know that you care enough about yourself that
+you’re not going to get me in trouble.
+
+TALIESIN: God, you’re making me agree with her.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck you, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: Fuck you.
+
+TALIESIN: See?
+
+SAM: When we signed up for this job, Caleb was
+very explicit. He said we are doing this for coin
+
+and treasure, and that’s what we got.
+
+MARISHA: I agree with that.
+
+SAM: There was no surprises here, we’re in it for
+what we can grab for ourselves.
+
+TALIESIN: No, we’re in it for what we can all grab
+together. That’s how these things work.
+
+MARISHA: When you want to grab something for
+yourself, you let me know, and you go grab it for
+
+yourself, I don’t have to be a part of it. When we
+choose one objective together, I can only trust
+
+that you are in it with us. We can be selfish as a
+group, and then be selfish as individuals.
+
+TALIESIN: This is why the circus worked. This is
+why the circus was functional.
+
+TRAVIS: You know, Nott, you count on Caleb to keep
+you safe, right, to achieve greater things than
+
+you by yourself can achieve. Think how many things
+you could do with all of us by your side. I’m not
+
+saying you don’t have to be selfish, and I’m not
+saying that you can’t go after treasure and coin.
+
+SAM: I think there’s a bit of a misconception here.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Is there?
+
+SAM: Caleb and I have a very special relationship.
+It is that of a parent and a child. But I am the
+
+parent. You do understand that, correct? I protect
+him. He’s my boy, and I keep him safe. I want
+
+him to thrive and get better and better, and more
+powerful and stronger. Because he can achieve
+
+great things. When I found him, he was nothing. He
+was a scared little boy in the corner of a jail
+
+cell. As we have gotten more comfortable, he has
+gotten more comfortable and come out of his shell.
+
+It’s my job to protect him, because I love him,
+and I am his protector. Not because he protects me.
+
+TALIESIN: So do you think it would be a good idea
+to explain to him that he almost got himself
+
+killed tonight? Turning on a bunch of people he was
+working with, he almost got himself killed tonight
+
+for nothing.
+
+MARISHA: You’re not the only one who can have the
+same interests in keeping each other safe.
+
+TALIESIN: And you’re not nearly as smart as you
+think you are.
+
+TRAVIS: If I may, thank you for sharing that,
+Nott.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, thanks.
+
+LAURA: That is so cute!
+
+SAM: He’s going to be a great man someday.
+
+LAURA: He will! He really will!
+
+TRAVIS: That changes things. I admit that I had
+the wrong idea about you two. I know what it’s
+
+like to feel responsible for someone.
+
+MARISHA: Man, super shame that Caleb’s not here
+for this entire conversation.
+
+TALIESIN: I try not to have ideas about people,
+they just get in the way.
+
+LAURA: I just want to go down there and hug him!
+
+TALIESIN: If you do, bring all of this stuff so he
+can actually do something useful.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go down there, why don’t we camp in
+the cellar?
+
+SAM: That seems like it would be suspicious.
+
+TALIESIN: No, he created this situation, I’m all
+right with this.
+
+LAURA: Does he know that you think of him like his
+son?
+
+SAM: I don’t know that.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we get to tell him now, don’t we?
+
+LAURA: No, we can’t out her like that.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, we want to take care of Caleb, we
+do. We pulled him out of that house when that
+
+Fireball went off. We didn’t cut and run, even
+though it might have saved our skins. We care
+
+about you two. I hope in time you’ll learn to
+trust us just a little bit more. Maybe think about
+
+protecting us as well, because you seem to do a
+great job taking care of Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: And stop expecting people to earn
+things. You just have to sometimes go with it.
+
+SAM: I’ll have a talk with him.
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate that.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, not as nice as what they said, if
+he ever does anything to get me fucking locked up
+
+I will beat him so fucking bad his ancestors on
+the next plane won’t fucking recognize him.
+
+SAM: That’s very nice, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, I’m trying real hard.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I could tell that there was at least
+six more fucks in there that you held back.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That’s progress.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, progress. I am an HR liability.
+
+LIAM: What about in the game?
+
+TRAVIS: So when are you planning to go down to
+keep an eye on your boy?
+
+SAM: As soon as you give me the stuff you want
+identified. And you’ll have to trust me that we
+
+won’t run away with it in the dead of night.
+
+LAURA: Oh, now I feel like you really will because
+everyone was just mean.
+
+TALIESIN: We literally caught you stealing our
+stuff. Here’s an extra platinum.
+
+SAM: Hey, you’re the one who hypnotized me into
+talking about stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: I did.
+
+SAM: Yeah, you think that’s what friends do to
+each other?!
+
+TALIESIN: When they catch them stealing their
+stuff, yes they do.
+
+SAM: I don’t think so. You think that’s cool,
+Beau?
+
+MARISHA: You caught him stealing your stuff?
+
+LAURA and SAM and TALIESIN: Her!
+
+MARISHA: You caught her stealing your stuff?
+
+TALIESIN: Fjord’s stuff, technically.
+
+SAM: I was not stealing! I was searching for
+something to steal.
+
+TALIESIN: She was stealing.
+
+LAURA: What were you trying to find?
+
+SAM: That’s besides the point.
+
+TALIESIN: Here, you can cast Friends on me, I’ll
+tell you everything you want to know.
+
+SAM: I don’t have Friends, he hasn’t taught me
+that one yet.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh gods, suddenly I’m compelled to
+answer everything truthfully! Oh no, more of
+
+whatever you’re drinking, I can’t help, stop, ack!
+
+MARISHA: This is the most I’ve liked either one of
+you motherfuckers.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel that.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, how about you take those items to
+Caleb and call it a vote of confidence.
+
+TALIESIN: There was an extra platinum in there.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: And I pull out my bo. And I put it down
+and I say, but I’ll find ya. If anything else happens.
+
+TRAVIS: I think he’s got the point.
+
+TALIESIN: Take the items and the unearned trust
+downstairs.
+
+SAM: Maybe you guys can have a talk with her
+tonight.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no, that’s coming too.
+
+SAM: I know she’s drunk, but–
+
+LAURA: She’s pretty drunk. You’re pretty drunk,
+Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Y’all don’t fucking know me.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I’m going to leave now.
+
+TALIESIN: Take the things, we’ll see you in a bit.
+
+SAM: Have a good night, don’t break into our room.
+I’ll go down with Caleb.
+
+MATT: Caleb, as you’re sitting there talking to
+your skull.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that was so brief. That was like five
+minutes ago.
+
+MATT: The door opens and Nott scuttles in, closes
+the door behind and comes and joins you.
+
+LIAM: How’s it going up there?
+
+SAM: I stole this fucking scroll for you.
+
+LIAM: It’s a scroll case, right?
+
+MATT: Which one are you handing him?
+
+SAM: The one from the Richter’s.
+
+MATT: That’s right, yeah.
+
+SAM: I got it. I went back and got it.
+
+LIAM: Does anybody know you took
+this?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+LIAM: I set it on the ground. I pull Nott closer
+to me, and I give Nott a kiss on the forehead.
+
+Thank you.
+
+SAM: Thank you for saving me tonight. You brought
+me back from the dead. Oh. I think you used a
+
+potion on me, didn’t you?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Here, take one of mine. I have two, it’s
+okay.
+
+LIAM: You are too kind to me.
+
+SAM: Of course. You keep me safe.
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, I think maybe you have
+guessed it before now, but I care a great deal
+
+for you, and that is no small gift. Thank you.
+
+SAM: Thank you. We lived, huh?
+
+LIAM: Another day. You know, a little bit of me is
+worried that this scroll case will explode, so I
+
+think we should check that out first.
+
+SAM: The folks upstairs gave me some more things
+for you to check out as well. Are these things you
+
+can do?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. I can get this done in about an
+hour, I think. First, Nott, will you take the
+
+scroll case and put it on the other side of the
+room?
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I’m tapped, so this is all ritual
+spells now. So I will use a ritual spell to
+
+Identify the scroll case.
+
+MATT: Okay. The scroll case is a scroll case. It
+does have a faint magical element to it. The
+
+limits of what Identify can–
+
+LIAM: How big is this room down here?
+
+MATT: I’d say it’s about eight by 12.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: So smaller than this.
+
+LIAM: This is going to be funny. I take another
+ten minutes to summon Schmidt.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Come with me outside, okay?
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Schmidt, go open the scroll case. Come
+on! I shut the door.
+
+MATT: Okay, you both back out, close the door.
+
+SAM: (explosion) Oh no!
+
+MATT: You hear (boom).
+
+LIAM: That is what I was afraid of.
+
+SAM: Oh shit! Was it loud enough that anyone else
+could hear?
+
+MATT: You don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you fucking serious?
+
+MARISHA: Did any of us hear it from the second
+floor?
+
+MATT: Everyone else make a perception check,
+please.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20!
+
+TRAVIS: Natural one!
+
+LAURA: Ten.
+
+MARISHA: 13.
+
+MATT: You hear a slight shift in the ground.
+
+SAM: It was that Agoura Hills earthquake.
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+LAURA: Did you just fart?
+
+TALIESIN: You would think so, but no. I think
+they’re doing something.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: I heard something.
+
+MARISHA: Are they trying to fucking escape?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just eating bar popcorn.
+
+TALIESIN: It sounded like a thump.
+
+MARISHA: A fucking thump?!
+
+LAURA: That doesn’t sound like an escape.
+
+MATT: Everything’s messy.
+
+LAURA: I hope they’re not dead.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s something we can find out
+in the morning.
+
+LAURA: Does our room look down onto the alleyway?
+
+MATT: Your room does not, no.
+
+LIAM: So, at this point, back up a little bit, and
+I open the door and back up to see what I see.
+
+SAM: Smoke?
+
+MATT: A purplish dark fume wafts out.
+
+LIAM: I back away from it.
+
+MATT: You back away from it, and it dissipates
+over the next 30 or so seconds. You keep watch to
+
+see if anybody else notices, and it doesn’t. It
+rises up, and thankfully by the time it would hit
+
+the roof as a smoke beacon, it mostly has
+dissipated enough in the sky where it doesn’t
+
+cause a column of visible darkness. The edge that
+you’re catching of it, the little bit that’s
+
+wafting through, has this very fine metallic smell
+to it, almost. The brief bit that catches your nostrils,
+
+you feel your sinuses open up very abruptly, and
+like a mouth full of wasabi, it’s like (coughing).
+
+Eventually it clears out, and you walk inside.
+
+LIAM: So not a ball of fiery death.
+
+MATT: No, not a ball of fiery death.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so it’s cleared away, Schmidt’s gone,
+I assume.
+
+MATT: Schmidt is–
+
+LIAM: Well, if it wasn’t damage-dealing, he’s
+still there.
+
+MATT: It might have been damage-dealing.
+
+SAM: I forget how this works, does he have your
+hit points?
+
+MATT: Unseen Servant.
+
+LIAM: He has two. One or two.
+
+MARISHA: He has the hit points of a kitten.
+
+LIAM: One hit point.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, Schmidt is gone. The scroll case is
+open.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so it’s clear. Next ritual spell that
+I will cast, I will gather the other items, except
+
+for the dodecahedron.
+
+SAM: Was there anything in the box?
+
+LIAM: Well, we’re about to find out. The
+dodecahedron is in my satchel at this point. I
+
+push all the other items towards the case and
+whatever is there, and I use ritual magic to
+
+cast Detect Magic everywhere. I just cast it.
+
+MATT: Both of the scrolls emanate– You see within
+the scroll case there’s now two rolled-up scrolls
+
+inside there, and they emanate a magical aura. The
+longsword emanates a magical aura, the boots
+
+emanate a magical aura, and your satchel is almost
+distracting, the vibrancy of the magical source
+
+from that object, the crystal-looking object.
+
+LIAM: I rearrange my satchel so it’s back by my
+butt, so I don’t have to look right at it. Okay,
+
+we have a little bit of work to do. I pick up the
+scrolls and examine them.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: (gasps)
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck?
+
+MARISHA: What, why are you getting teary, what is
+happening?
+
+SAM: It’s a good spell.
+
+MARISHA: Was it that good?
+
+LIAM: Come here, come here!
+
+SAM: What did we get?
+
+LIAM: I pick her up and I hug her.
+
+SAM: What did we get, what did we get?
+
+LIAM: This will be good for the group, this will
+be good for you and me, this is good. It’s
+
+something that I was not able to do. I’ve been
+trying to figure it out for months and I have not
+
+been able to figure it out and now I have it.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: Okay, let’s look at these things for
+everybody else. Okay. Ho, ho, ho, let’s Identify
+
+all this shit! I spend the next 40 or so
+minutes–
+
+SAM: Sinterklaas!
+
+MARISHA: Santa Klaus!
+
+LIAM: Ah. Yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh, and these daggers, too.
+
+LIAM: Beau might like these. These are good. Yeah,
+these are good. Okay, so. All right, we’ll put
+
+these away. This is a very good blade. This might
+be a good blade for you. Why don’t you hold on to
+
+it? You hold onto that.
+
+SAM: It’s a longsword?
+
+MATT: It’s a longsword.
+
+SAM: Can I use that?
+
+LIAM: Oh. Let me see. I thought that was the
+daggers.
+
+SAM: (fake crying)
+
+LIAM: So the daggers are not magic?
+
+MATT: The daggers are not magic.
+
+LIAM: Not magic.
+
+MATT: They are just base daggers.
+
+LIAM: No, this is bigger than you.
+
+SAM: Too big for me. I know my limits.
+
+LIAM: Fjord or Molly would like this. They can
+decide. They can decide. I mean, really, these
+
+boots are good for anybody. These are good for–
+yeah.
+
+LAURA: Just tell us what they are! Just say it out
+loud! Just say it!
+
+LIAM: No, I’ll tell you on Christmas morning and
+not before!
+
+LAURA: You’re killing me!
+
+LIAM: We couldn’t do this at all last campaign!
+Now you have to wait 20 minutes!
+
+MATT: It’s true.
+
+LAURA: (groans) I wonder if I have Identify I
+could take…
+
+TALIESIN: There’s a way to do it.
+
+SAM: Well, should we go to sleep?
+
+LIAM: Oh, boy.
+
+SAM: Oh, here’s your 19 platinum, and your two
+gold, and one extra platinum for some reason, as
+
+if that were supposed to smooth things over. Oh,
+and also, they don’t trust us, they think we need
+
+to cooperate more, they’re trying–
+
+MARISHA: Oh!
+
+TRAVIS: Nope, you’re not there.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+SAM: They are very upset–
+
+MARISHA: I’m not, I’m speaking as myself!
+
+MATT and LAURA: (shushing)
+
+SAM: They were very upset that we tried to take
+the scroll box.
+
+LIAM: Why?
+
+SAM: Because they are in the firm belief that it
+would have left some sort of clue that would have
+
+led the authorities to us by stealing something,
+after we had broken into two houses, stolen other
+
+things, torn up a rug–
+
+LIAM: That is the red flag. Not the arcane rug
+that was destroyed and removed, covering his
+
+precious things. Not Jester disguising herself as
+the High-Richter.
+
+SAM: Not stealing the seal.
+
+LIAM: And leaving witnesses who had seen someone
+who was not the Richter going in before the Richter–
+
+SAM: Sure. Also, she was dressed as the Richter
+not wearing the correct outfit.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Ulog rifled through her desk and took
+some papers from there, but I did not see Fjord
+
+tear him a new asshole.
+
+SAM: Sure. But they are under the impression that,
+and this a fair point, that we are not very
+
+communicative or… We don’t behave as much as
+part of a team as they would prefer. I said that I
+
+would tell you and discuss. And so that’s where
+it stands with the weirdos.
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, I want this to work. So
+whatever they need. I definitely do not agree, but
+
+whatever makes it work.
+
+SAM: I think what would make it work is letting
+them take the lead a bit, and following.
+
+LIAM: Well, I have no interest in being a leader,
+do you?
+
+SAM: Oh no, not at all.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+SAM: But we can just see how it goes, playing
+ball, I suppose.
+
+LIAM: Do you know that I was going to go to that
+school one day?
+
+SAM: The Soltryce Academy thing?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Didn’t work out.
+
+SAM: What? You didn’t get in?
+
+LIAM: Oh, I didn’t get anywhere near it. I’m from
+a small town, and there was a lot of hubbub for
+
+me, and maybe, you know, a gathering-up of coin. But
+I fucked it up.
+
+SAM: Did you do something wrong? Or bad?
+
+LIAM: (whispers) Yeah.
+
+SAM: You don’t have to tell me what it was, or
+what you did, but is it something that you can be
+
+forgiven for?
+
+LIAM: (clears throat) That is not for me to say.
+But I have no interest in going. I will do it on
+
+my own. Correction: I will learn with your help.
+
+SAM: Our own academy?
+
+LIAM: That’s the idea. Ja.
+
+SAM: All right. It’ll take a little longer,
+probably. I’m not a good teacher.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, well, you know, anything worth going
+after takes some elbow grease and hard work, so.
+
+SAM: All right, well. I’ll help wherever I can. I
+do enjoy seeing you get new spells and new skills.
+
+LIAM: I haven’t had a friend in a very long time.
+The last few months have been… unexpected.
+
+SAM: I think for me, too. I’ve had more people
+throw rocks at me than conversations, and it’s
+
+nice. You know what, it’s nice with them, too.
+They don’t seem to mind that, you know, my teeth
+
+are a little– People find that off-putting,
+sometimes.
+
+LIAM: I do not. And I’ll tell you another secret.
+I like them, too. I get that they’re angry. I
+
+don’t agree with them. But I get it.
+
+SAM: Well, they’re not as smart as you are, so.
+
+LIAM: Or you, I would argue.
+
+SAM: That’s nice.
+
+LIAM: Well, you want to bed down with a
+terrifying artifact of awesome power?
+
+SAM: I prefer the skeleton, actually.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’ll go on that side of the room.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LIAM: Night, Nott.
+
+SAM: Night, Caleb.
+
+MATT: All right, so. As you guys all come to sleep
+for the evening, first off, we’ll consider this
+
+rest the milestone where you all hit level four.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: So if you guys have decided on your
+adjustments in advance, you can do that.
+
+SAM: How do you do this on D&D Beyond?
+
+MATT: While you guys figure that out, if I could
+have everybody but Caleb leave the table, please.
+
+LAURA and SAM: (surprised sounds)
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+LIAM: Get out of here.
+
+MARISHA: What is happening to you now?!
+
+TRAVIS: Yes!
+
+SAM: I’m in the room!
+
+MARISHA: Are we doing the level four thing now?
+
+LAURA: So we’re doing it.
+
+MARISHA: Are we doing the level four thing, or we
+doing it after?
+
+TRAVIS: Just wait.
+
+MATT: Just set up your stuff except for your hit
+points; we’ll roll those when you get back.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Pick up and walk.
+
+LAURA: Okay okay okay!
+
+SAM: Where do we go?
+
+LAURA: This way!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going this way.
+
+LAURA: Bye, Caleb!
+
+TRAVIS: I have to say it because Taliesin said it:
+(whispers) Don’t die.
+
+SAM: Bring your dice so we can roll.
+
+LIAM: I love you guys! I don’t mean the Mighty
+Nein, you’re assholes, but I love you guys!
+
+MARISHA: I’ll kill you in your sleep! Okay, bye!
+
+LAURA: You don’t roll a d20 for hit points, Sam!
+
+MARISHA: Grab all the dice. Grab all the dice!
+
+LAURA: I’m grabbing my bag!
+
+MATT: Don’t roll hit dice! Roll hit points when
+you come here!
+
+SAM: How do you play Dungeons & Dragons?!
+
+MATT: You won’t need dice! You’re fine.
+
+LIAM: We did it. We reclaimed our dignity. We did
+it.
+
+MATT: We did it. Totally. So, as the dark takes your
+dreams, sleep brings calm, brings peace, brings
+
+rest. There’s a soft hum that seems to radiate
+around you. A welcoming softness. A light, not
+
+quite white, not quite dark, it’s a grayish,
+familiar light, strangely. You feel it pull you
+
+forward, through stars. The distant night sky. You
+see beacons of light coast by. You
+
+see a dark sphere before you. Then there’s a flash
+of light, and you’re standing there and you’re
+
+holding the object in your hand which you keep.
+It’s welcoming. You look into it for a moment, and
+
+look ahead, and you see yourself. And you see
+another self. And you see another self. And a
+
+fourth Caleb, and a fifth Caleb, and an endless
+row of Calebs, all slightly different. All begin
+
+walking in different directions at once. You look
+down at the object and back up again and they’re
+
+all gone. You see a distant flame flicker. You
+feel yourself hypnotized by its movement. You look
+
+down again at it, and there’s something wonderful
+and ancient about this thing. You can’t
+
+grasp it. Its scale is both too large and too
+small. The more your mind tries to make sense of
+
+it, the more you feel yourself walking in 17
+different directions at once. All those Calebs you
+
+saw before are all within you and they’re all
+pulling at different sides and it confuses you. It
+
+scares you for a moment, but once again you focus
+back on this object and the warmth is comforting.
+
+You look up again at the stars; they’ve stopped
+passing by. They’re held in place. And for the
+
+first time in a long time, you feel at peace.
+That’s the end of your dream. All right, let’s
+
+bring everybody else back in, please. You wake up
+in the cold, dark basement of this relatively
+
+unused cellar beneath the Leaky Tap. Come to
+consciousness with the most restful night’s sleep
+
+you’ve had in a long time, it feels, almost. You
+look over at Nott curled up right against your
+
+thigh, like a dog, asleep. Come on in.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I got scared of the skeleton so I came over
+here.
+
+MATT: (laughs) All right. So, first off, let’s go
+ahead and get a roll of hit points here, so we have–
+
+LAURA: Oh, gosh!
+
+MATT: We haven’t done this live on air before!
+
+LIAM: Oh man, here comes my extra one hit point.
+
+SAM: That was like two minutes.
+
+LAURA: We had no time!
+
+SAM: We had no time to do anything!
+
+MATT: That’s okay. So go ahead and roll. As a
+general rule, I reroll ones for hit points,
+
+because nothing sucks more for a character than
+leveling up and rolling a one. So now two is the
+
+new sucky baseline. So go around the table. You
+are rolling for hit points first, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, okay. A d8, right?
+
+MATT: d8 for the warlock, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven, nice.
+
+MARISHA: d8 for the monk as well. A four. Right
+down the middle.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+MARISHA: Plus my con modifier, yeah?
+
+MATT: Plus your con modifier, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, really, con modifier?
+
+MATT: Yeah, every level. That’s how it’s always
+been.
+
+TRAVIS: I just forget. 11 points.
+
+MATT: Caleb, d6.
+
+LIAM: Plus my con modifier, it’s a total of six.
+So I’m sitting at a big 25 now.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I roll a d8?
+
+MATT: For you, yes. I believe it’s a d8.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, nice!
+
+SAM: Eight!
+
+MATT: Nice! All righty.
+
+SAM: When I leveled up, it already gave me two
+extra hit points. Why?
+
+LAURA: Because that’s your modifier.
+
+MATT: That’s your modifier.
+
+SAM: Okay, so now I add the extra eight.
+
+MATT: You add the eight to it. Yeah, it
+automatically adds your level up to that. Roll yours.
+
+LAURA: Aw, three.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+TALIESIN: d10, no con modifier?
+
+MATT: No, you get con modifier.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+MATT: Every class gets a con modifier to hit
+points.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Six!
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+SAM: Oh my god, I just got ten extra hit
+points!
+
+LAURA: That’s amazing.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: I feel like that was really bad. That was a
+really bad roll.
+
+MATT: It’s okay. Sometimes you get better rolls
+than others.
+
+SAM: No, she’s dead now.
+
+MATT: (laughs) If you don’t roll at least four hit
+points, you die in your sleep.
+
+LAURA: Yes, that’s the rule.
+
+MATT: If you die in the level-up, you die in real
+life. All right, so anyway, continuing. The hit
+
+points are the main thing, and your abilities, we
+can keep tabs on that if it comes into play, and
+
+we can define stuff after the episode tonight. But
+anyway. As you all come to consciousness in the
+
+morning, the day is before you. What do you wish
+to do?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to see Horris.
+
+MATT: Horris is already awake and looking out the
+window, and looks nervously.
+
+TRAVIS: Horris, do you need an escort out of town,
+or do you think you can find your way?
+
+MATT: “I mean, an escort would be nice, just to have
+somebody I can work with in case things go bad.”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. Have much coin do you have on
+you?
+
+MATT: “On me? 20 gold.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, you’ll be fine.
+
+MATT: “It’s enough to last me a while, yeah.”
+
+TRAVIS: Molly? Molly!
+
+TALIESIN: Huh?
+
+TRAVIS: Wake up. I think I’m going to escort
+Horris out. Be back as fast as I can.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, we’ll wait for you.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to wake up and go see what the
+girls are doing.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys get to get your breakfast
+started and such. You guys begin to walk, heading
+
+southward, since that was where the Alfield
+suggestion was, making your way. The general
+
+bustle is still happening. There’s still not a lot
+of crownsguard on the street corners you’re used
+
+to seeing them posted at, and as you make your way
+towards the southern portion of the Interstead
+
+Sprawl, to the southern gate, you can see why. The
+exit gates are swarming with crownsguard. The
+
+portcullis is down, with the smaller side doors
+open, and every person who enters and exits is
+
+being interviewed and being checked as to whether
+or not they’re allowed to leave. It seems that
+
+lock-down is very serious during this
+investigation. Horris immediately clamps up and
+
+grabs your arm and goes, “I don’t– I don’t
+know–”
+
+TRAVIS: Stay casual, stay calm, just turn and
+we’re going to slowly start walking back. Just act normal.
+
+MATT: “Okay.” You both slowly make your way
+through that intersection and back, and no one
+
+seems to pay much mind. They’re consumed with the
+current hustle and bustle at the gate. As you guys
+
+are walking back, Horris is like, “Is there another
+way out? Is there someone, something you know–”
+
+TRAVIS: There always is. And if all else fails,
+there’s the sewers. You’re not opposed to getting
+
+a little dirty to get out of town, are you?
+
+MATT: “No, no, no.”
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll want to wait until we have more of
+the others, just in case. I’m afraid the sewers
+
+might be being cased as well, so stay put for a
+little while longer, we’ll find you a quiet spot
+
+in the Leaky Tap, but let me check with the
+others.
+
+MATT: “Okay, okay.” All right. As you guys are
+getting the rest of your morning on, what do you
+
+want to do?
+
+LAURA: Get the rest of my morning on.
+
+MATT: Getting your morning on.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to point out, because I took
+Tough–
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, all right.
+
+TALIESIN: So I’m at 49 hit points
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+MATT: Damn, dude!
+
+SAM: That’s a lot!
+
+TALIESIN: But now I burn through more to use my
+swords.
+
+SAM: Do we have to find Dolan now?
+
+TRAVIS: No, we found Dolan last night. He’s going
+to stay put in his house, low. We’re going to try
+
+and assure that he’s safe so that he can, you
+know, put his name up for that High-Richter seat.
+
+MARISHA: We’ve got to figure out what we’re doing
+with this thing.
+
+TRAVIS: But listen, the gates, it’s not a joke,
+it’s sealed. There are crownsguard swarming all
+
+over it. It seemed like they were doing personal
+interviews, pat-downs, the whole smash, so even an
+
+enchantment might not hold up to scrutiny.
+
+LAURA: Wasn’t there a woman who was also
+(whispers) part of the Knights of Requital?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Kara.
+
+LAURA: What happened to her?
+
+MARISHA: She was the most shifty bitch.
+
+TRAVIS: We didn’t see her last night. She wasn’t
+at Dolan’s.
+
+LAURA: But she saw you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, she saw– Yes, she did.
+
+LAURA: At one of the meetings.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: She never said a whole lot.
+
+LAURA: If anyone is going to turn us in, it would
+be her.
+
+TRAVIS: Perhaps.
+
+MARISHA: She’s the one I arguably know the least
+about–
+
+LAURA: Where’s Horris? Maybe he knows something
+about her.
+
+MATT: You look behind Fjord at this point, and in
+the doorway is Horris, arms crossed, biting his
+
+lower lip.
+
+LAURA: Horris?
+
+MATT: “Yes?”
+
+LAURA: Do you know where Kara is?
+
+MATT: “I honestly don’t. We scattered when the
+preparations were done to make sure we were far
+
+"apart so we couldn’t be traced together.”
+
+LAURA: Do you know where she lives?
+
+MATT: “I don’t, actually.”
+
+LAURA: Do you know what she does?
+
+MATT: “She says she occasionally works out of that
+really terrible bar, the Evening–”
+
+LAURA: The Evening Nip? She works at the Evening
+Nip?
+
+MATT: “I don’t go there.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: We’ve got to get our Nip on. Ooh, wait, maybe
+not.
+
+MARISHA: Well, Jester and I know the code to talk
+to the Gentleman if we ever want to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. I was thinking that we might try
+and get Horris out now. That way, if a crownsguard
+
+finds its way here– maybe we should take him into
+the sewers, get him out of the city.
+
+LAURA: Do the sewers lead out of the city?
+
+TRAVIS: I imagine.
+
+MARISHA: Generally when a city is on lockdown,
+though, the sewers is the first place that guards
+
+are looking for shady people to leave.
+
+MATT: “That’s true.”
+
+MARISHA: Where’s our cart? We still have our gypsy
+wagon.
+
+SAM: Oh god, we haven’t fed the horses in days.
+
+MARISHA: No, we haven’t.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The horses are being taken care of. The
+horses will be fine. The manticore head, though,
+
+that’s probably a whole different order of
+business.
+
+LAURA: The manticore head. Oh, I bet it smells so
+bad!
+
+SAM: So we left the horses at a stable or
+something? Okay. They’re not dead in an alley
+
+somewhere?
+
+LAURA: Oh god.
+
+TALIESIN: Trying to rip the cart off the dead
+horses.
+
+MATT: “Oh! Excuse me!”
+
+MARISHA: Is our cart in the city or is it outside
+the city?
+
+MATT: No, you brought it in the city with you.
+
+MARISHA: We can bury him under a pile of produce
+or something like that, try and sneak him out of
+
+the city.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we would need a proper smuggler
+for that.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed.
+
+TALIESIN: A well-built cart with a secret
+compartment.
+
+SAM: Get a big catapult and just–
+
+MATT: “Do you know a smuggler?”
+
+TALIESIN: No, I don’t know a smuggler. I don’t
+know anybody in this city.
+
+SAM: Wait, we know a smuggler.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we do know a smuggler.
+
+SAM: Who was the guy who first showed us around
+the city?
+
+LAURA: Ulysses! Ulysses Stanneras!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: He was in that yellow cloak. Remember?
+
+MARISHA: Also, you know who we haven’t checked up
+on? Bryce’s sister. Right? Her sister?
+
+SAM: Their sister.
+
+MARISHA: Their sister, sorry. Bryce’s sister.
+
+SAM: I totally forgot about that.
+
+TRAVIS: I did, too.
+
+SAM. And also there’s the Gentleman, and also we
+need a lead box. Oh my God, there’s so much to do!
+
+LAURA: We need a lead box. Should we go try to buy
+a lead box?
+
+SAM: Or maybe Pumat would have some sort of a
+magical-encasing–
+
+LAURA: But how would we tell him why we need it?
+
+SAM: He doesn’t care, does he?
+
+LAURA: Don’t you think somebody would be asking,
+“Who recently bought something that would protect
+
+"against scrying?”
+
+TRAVIS: Horris, we obviously have a lot to decide
+on. Perhaps it would be better if you stayed up in
+
+the room.
+
+MATT: “I can do that. I’ll lock myself in there,
+and let me know if anything comes up.”
+
+TALIESIN: We have some reading, if you like. I’m
+going to grab the copy of Tusk Love.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Try and relax. But not too much.
+
+MATT: “All right.” Horris gives you a long look
+of, “I’ve learned a lot about you in the moment.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: We should write Tusk Love and sell it on the
+store.
+
+MATT: I’m sure the community is already halfway
+there, buddy. (laughs) All right. So, Horris is
+
+taken care of for the moment. What’s the plan?
+
+MARISHA: Is Broken Veil the name of a tavern here,
+or was it in Alfield?
+
+MATT: The Broken Veil?
+
+LAURA: I know I wrote it down.
+
+MARISHA: I think I messed up and I wrote down
+where she is, but I don’t know where–
+
+LAURA: I’m trying to find where I wrote down
+Bryce’s connections. I think I wrote it down in a
+
+different–
+
+MARISHA: No, wait.
+
+SAM: Was he in Alfield? She. They! Were they in
+Alfield?
+
+MARISHA: Yes. Bryce is in Alfield.
+
+SAM: Bryce Fayled? Fell-lid? Fee-lid?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Feelid. Bryce Feelid. Watchmaster
+Bryce Feelid. Elf. Leader of the guard. Very sweet
+
+person. These are all the things I wrote down.
+
+TRAVS: Great notes. Jesus.
+
+MATT: (laughs)
+
+TRAVIS: “Very sweet person.”
+
+MARISHA: Bryce despises the Dwendalian Empire,
+thinks they get no support being so far south from
+
+the Dwendalian Empire. He’s not from this region.
+And then I wrote down ‘Broken Veil’ and ‘Bluffs’.
+
+LAURA: So it’s got to be that.
+
+MATT: Okay, so yes, I know what you’re talking
+about now. Thank you for the heads-up on that. So
+
+the Broken Veil Bluffs is to the far, far east.
+That is where the border of the Dwendalian Empire
+
+and Xhorhas is. It’s actually where most of the
+conflicts happen. It’s where the garrisons exist.
+
+Where most of the army is sent to defend the
+Empire in the valley.
+
+TRAVIS: Level four, let’s go!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You are ready for this shit!
+
+LAURA: The radiation area in Fallout. It’s like,
+get out! Get out now!
+
+MARISHA: You’re unprepared!
+
+TRAVIS: (computer voice) You are leaving the
+combat area.
+
+MARISHA: So I didn’t– I don’t have the name of
+her damn–
+
+MATT: Their.
+
+MARISHA: Their damn sister!
+
+LAURA: And I can’t find it in these notes either.
+Shit.
+
+SAM: If Caleb was in the room when Bryce said it,
+then Caleb would know.
+
+MARISHA: I think Caleb was, because it was right
+when we said we were going to Zadash and Bryce was
+
+like, “Go look at this person.” Sorry, I choked on
+my spit.
+
+MATT: Bryce was the one that sent you to the Leaky
+Tap. Bryce is the one that sent you to Claudia.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, is Claudia his sister?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+MARISHA: Am I going around in circles?
+
+MATT: I think you’re going in circles.
+
+SAM: There was no sister?
+
+MATT: I don’t recall there–
+
+LAURA: –being a sister. It was Claudia!
+
+SAM: Well, if Matt doesn’t recall the sister, then
+it was Claudia!
+
+MARISHA: It was Claudia. Was it Claudia this whole
+time?
+
+MATT: I was like, what did I say about Bryce’s
+sister, oh shit?
+
+MARISHA: It was Claudia. Never mind!
+
+SAM: Mystery solved!
+
+LAURA: No wonder I don’t have it in my notes.
+
+MATT: There you go. Once again!
+
+SAM: We did it!
+
+LAURA: We figured it out!
+
+TRAVIS: Chat’s like, “Fucking idiots.”
+
+MATT: If I did say sister, remind me.
+
+SAM: Well, that takes one thing off the list. We
+still need: The lead box! Get Horris out of town!
+
+The Gentleman! What else?
+
+TRAVIS: The Leaky Nip. What’s it called?
+
+LAURA: The Evening Nip.
+
+SAM: That’s the Gentleman also.
+
+MATT: The Leaky Nip?!
+
+LAURA: That’s going to be me in a few months.
+
+TALIESIN: Bam! Bam!
+
+MATT: That’s a different establishment.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a daycare.
+
+LIAM: Wow. This ain’t your kids’ D&D, right there!
+
+SAM: The Leaky Nip? I mean, the Evening Nip,
+should we go there?
+
+LAURA: No, we need a lead box, that’s
+probably more important.
+
+MARISHA: And get Horris out first, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Pumat’s got to have a–
+
+LAURA: Or a blacksmith. I feel like a blacksmith
+would be more–
+
+SAM: He was telling us about blacksmiths before.
+There’s the Spark Hammer Smith. We could go to the
+
+Spark Hammer Smith in the Pentamarket.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Let’s go to that.
+
+TRAVIS: Have we been there yet?
+
+SAM: I think we actually have been there before.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that was the first place we went.
+
+SAM: Yannick. Jan?
+
+MATT: Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+MATT: For the hell of it, make an arcana check.
+
+LIAM: Sure. I’ve just been nerding out over my
+leveling up over here.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+SAM: He got 75 new spells.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I rolled a one, Matthew.
+
+MATT: Fuck, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I rolled a natural 20.
+
+LIAM: I rolled it really badly. I’m not good at
+dice.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. All right, continue.
+
+LAURA: You need to take Luck as a feat again.
+
+LIAM: It doesn’t always work out for you anyway.
+
+TRAVIS: I know magic some!
+
+SAM: I’m a student of magic.
+
+TRAVIS: Not enough, DM says.
+
+MATT: It’s not about not enough, it’s placement
+and what you have and where you are. So what are
+
+you guys doing?
+
+SAM: We’re going to go to the Spark Hammer
+Smith’s. Smithy’s.
+
+MARISHA: Yannick and Jan.
+
+MATT: You find your way there. Yannick is inside
+currently, working on hammering out the edges of a
+
+piece of armor. “Hello. Can I help you?”
+
+LAURA: Yes. Do you make anything out of lead?
+
+MATT: “I mean, I certainly can. Depends what
+you’re hoping to have made.”
+
+LAURA: Could you perhaps make me a really pretty–
+so, my mother is a big fan of things made out of
+
+lead. She said she likes the color of that metal.
+
+MATT: “That’s a very curious liking, but sure,
+I’ll take it.”
+
+LAURA: She gets a lot of things in gold and
+stuff and so she says that lead looks very
+
+different from that and she thinks it’s pretty.
+
+MATT: “Hey, I’m not judging.”
+
+LAURA: So I want to make her a really pretty
+jewelry box out of lead.
+
+MATT: The halfling scratches his temple and goes,
+“Well, I mean, if you’re willing to pay, I can make it.”
+
+LAURA: Okay! It’s like she has a lot of jewelry,
+so something like around this big.
+
+MATT: “It’s going to be a lot of lead, and a few
+days to make it.”
+
+SAM: Can it just be lead-lined? Is that a thing?
+
+LIAM: It can be thin as a sheet of parchment.
+
+LAURA: Oh, so not a whole lead box, maybe like a
+box made out of wood and then pretty lead on the inside.
+
+MATT: “That there’s a little more easy
+to put together.”
+
+LAURA: Or maybe on the outside so she doesn’t
+realize it’s not made of lead?
+
+LIAM: It doesn’t need to be as– Am I here? I’ve
+been doing this with my spells.
+
+MATT: That’s up to you. Sure.
+
+LIAM: It needs to be sealed all the way around and
+be able to close.
+
+LAURA: He’s a good friend of my mom’s.
+
+MATT: “Right.”
+
+SAM: Everybody knows her mom.
+
+MATT: “Okay, we’ll go ahead and get started on
+that there. Full cost to you, two days’ work, materials.
+
+"That’ll run you back about one and a half gold.
+One gold, five silver.”
+
+LAURA: I think that is acceptable, yes.
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+LAURA: Here. Will you also engrave it with, “Love
+you so much”?
+
+MATT: “It’ll be an additional silver.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “All right. Come back here in about 48
+hours. Should be good.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. If we give you more, could you make it
+faster?
+
+MATT: “I could certainly do my best.”
+
+LAURA: I noticed they’re blocking up the gates,
+and I need to get it to her because her birthday’s
+
+coming up.
+
+MATT: “I am but one small halfling, so you’re
+going to have to wait one way or the other.”
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+MATT: “Sorry.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “No worries, mate! Come back then.”
+
+MARISHA: Our blacksmith is Taika Waititi. So into
+it.
+
+LIAM: Are we all in a group, though? Sorry, I
+really did have my head up the ass of level four.
+
+MATT: You guy haven’t said you’ve split, so I
+imagine you’re all as a group.
+
+LAURA: That’s a couple days.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Should we check with Pumat Sol and see if
+he has something like that?
+
+LIAM: Like a lead– I would pay premium price to
+get a hold of a lead box right away.
+
+MARISHA: You all keep talking about this Pumat Sol
+guy.
+
+TRAVIS: Have you not been to the Invulnerable
+Gentleclerk?
+
+MARISHA: No. I don’t do the magic stuff. I tend to
+do other things.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but this is more like an experience,
+like Sleep No More. You have to go and–
+
+MARISHA: Oh, really?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you have to see it for yourself. We do
+have a lot to do, but this is a functional trip as well.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m normally not impressed by
+eccentrics, so this is really impressive.
+
+LIAM: This is a functional trip as well. A
+gentleman like Pumat Sol– gentlemen like Pumat
+
+Sols– would most likely– because they understand
+divination, and the needs of the arcane.
+
+MARISHA: See, it feels like an inside joke.
+
+TALIESIN: It is.
+
+LIAM: We want you to be in on it.
+
+LAURA: He would be more aware of what we’re
+asking for, if we asked for it. As opposed to the
+
+blacksmith.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, he would not be surprised by the
+question.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Also, come over here. Please.
+
+LAURA: Just me?
+
+LIAM: Well, whoever– everybody hears this. Come
+closer. Yeah, so–
+
+TRAVIS: (belches loudly)
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: My hair went (wind sounds) on that one.
+
+LIAM: I look around to see if anyone was
+distracted by Fjord’s large belch.
+
+MATT: At the moment, no. It seems to be a common
+thing here in the Pentamarket.
+
+LIAM: All right. I know you’re all a big fan of my
+sticky fingers. I took this from Sutan’s house.
+
+SAM: What is that? What does it do?
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+LIAM: It is a sending stone. It’s a communication
+device. This was in Sutan’s house. This was under
+
+the rug that we destroyed and removed.
+
+LAURA: That attacked us, you mean.
+
+LIAM: Yes, of course. We did what we had to do. We
+improvised. Like Fjord told me the other day: you
+
+have to improvise. This stone has a twin somewhere
+and we can talk with it. I don’t know who it is.
+
+Honestly, my opinion is, the probability of
+someone trying to find us, searching for this
+
+thing, is like looking for a needle in a haystack
+in a newly made warzone. However, in the meantime,
+
+I was wondering if you’d hold it inside of your
+fancy bag, because–
+
+LAURA: Will they be able to find it through the
+fancy bag?
+
+LIAM: I believe not, because inside your bag is
+somewhere else. It is not even on this plane.
+
+LAURA: I hold it up to my ear. Is anybody trying
+to talk to me right now?
+
+MATT: Not at the moment.
+
+LIAM: Let’s put that in your bag right away, because
+we don’t know what’s on the other side of it.
+
+LAURA: How do we– oh, okay. Can they hear me
+talking to it right now?
+
+LIAM: There is a very, very small chance the answer
+is yes, so please put it in your bag right now.
+
+MARISHA: So you started stealing stuff in the
+first house?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is what I said that I was going
+to do.
+
+TRAVIS: To be fair, he did say that.
+
+TALIESIN: We had the talk. I’m willing to let it
+slide.
+
+MARISHA: We had the talk with her
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair. Ah! Sword. Boots. Daggers.
+
+LAURA: Wait. Don’t pass it out out here.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, not right here, of course.
+
+LIAM: Do we want to do it before Pumat, or after
+Pumat?
+
+LAURA: Before.
+
+SAM: One little interjection. Couldn’t we use the
+sending thing to find out information if we sent a
+
+message?
+
+LIAM: All we could do is say hello to a stranger.
+We don’t know who it is.
+
+LAURA: Would it hear our voice, or would it– ?
+
+LIAM: It would hear our voice.
+
+SAM: We could disguise our voice and say, “We’ve
+been made! Send instructions!” and find out what
+
+happens.
+
+LIAM: That is true. Just keep it in the bag for
+now, just in case.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty good, though.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. We could certainly roll this over in
+our minds and see if there’s something we could do
+
+with it. If someone is going to look for this
+thing– and, again, probability very low– but if
+
+they were going to look, it’d be right away. It’d
+be a couple of weeks.
+
+LAURA: What if we say to it, “Hey man! We found
+this stone on the ground. Who do you belong to?”
+
+What do you think?
+
+TALIESIN: I think that’s– It could be dangerous.
+It’s better if they initiate, because then we learn
+
+information immediately.
+
+SAM: Sometimes if you scroll through and find a
+listing for mom?
+
+LAURA: I know, and then you call the mom?
+
+LIAM: I believe possible that at some point a
+message could come through it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s what I was thinking.
+
+LIAM: But we don’t know. I just want– for the
+next two to four weeks– I would prefer to keep it
+
+either in a lead-lined container or in that bag. Chances
+are small, but if someone was really determined.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s possible.
+
+LAURA: All right. It’s in the bag.
+
+TRAVIS: Pumat, or the rest of the equipment?
+
+SAM: We could probably divvy up the equipment at
+Pumat’s. He won’t ask any questions.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it.
+
+LAURA: How do you know? How do you know he’s not
+working for the Empire?
+
+TRAVIS: He’s pretty nice.
+
+LAURA: The only store in the Empire.
+
+TRAVIS: He seems like a nice guy.
+
+LAURA: He’s probably working for the Empire.
+
+LIAM: I would agree with Fjord’s sentiment. If we
+took it out of my own bag– There’s four of Pumats
+
+so one of those Pumats would see it coming out of
+my own stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, we’re returning customers.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s also true.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what are you agreeing with? That
+he’s nice or that he’s working for the Empire?
+
+LIAM: No, that he’s nice.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I don’t want to trust him.
+
+LIAM: We could also go to a breakfast shop and do
+it there.
+
+MARISHA: The two aren’t mutually exclusive. We
+know that, right? He can be nice and working for
+
+the Empire.
+
+LAURA: I had a dream about Pumat Sol attacking
+us.
+
+SAM: You did not!
+
+TRAVIS: Attacking us?
+
+LAURA: I did. I had a dream about it.
+
+SAM: What?! That seems terrible!
+
+LAURA: This is Laura actually. I did have a
+dream.
+
+MATT: What, are you serious? That’s terrifying!
+
+TALIESIN: I was starting to go in that direction
+of: Is this a real thing?
+
+LAURA: No, it really was. It was a dream that
+Pumat Sol betrayed us and he attacked us all.
+
+Anyway���
+
+TALIESIN: This is Clarota aftershock.
+
+LAURA: I’m just letting you know. We don’t know
+anything about him.
+
+SAM: Oh my god.
+
+TRAVIS: I think if you give him a chance, he’ll do
+you right.
+
+SAM: (banjo music)
+
+LAURA: Anyway, I don’t want to bring out all of
+this stuff from the assassin guy in front of him!
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go shopping at Pumat Sol’s and
+then we’ll divvy up everything when we’re in private.
+
+MATT: You guys making your way to the
+Pentamarket?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+LIAM: (Pumat voice) Respectfully, we are.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s still early morning, relatively.
+You make your way to the warm, welcoming interior
+
+of the Invulnerable Vagrant. There are no other
+patrons in there. You do see, across the way, one
+
+Pumat Sol is sitting behind the counter with
+knitting needles. There is one off to the side in
+
+a chair that’s currently reading through a book,
+the small set of glasses on the tip of his wide
+
+nose. They both look up and go, “Why, hello there!
+That’s just a real nice thing to see you this
+
+"early in the morning. Just about to finish my
+breakfast snack, so you caught me at a good time.”
+
+MARISHA: The fuck?
+
+LAURA: Are you open all the time?
+
+SAM: This is normal, it’s okay!
+
+MATT: “Not all the time. We generally do a cycle
+of sunrise to about four hours past sunset. That’s
+
+"our general scheme that we maintain business.”
+
+TRAVIS: Pumat, we’d like to introduce you to one
+of our friends. This is Beau.
+
+MARISHA: ‘Sup?
+
+MATT: “Beau? Well, the pleasure is respectfully
+mine.” He reaches out, giant hand encompasses your
+
+entire fist.
+
+MARISHA: Little clammy.
+
+MATT: He puts the book down. Takes his glasses
+off. “What can I do for you?”
+
+LAURA: Well, my mom’s birthday is coming up, and
+she really likes boxes that have– Do you have a
+
+lead-lined box?
+
+MATT: “We’ve got quite a few here currently
+containing items that require shielding.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, good!
+
+MATT: “Yeah!”
+
+LAURA: Can we get one of those?
+
+MATT: “That can probably be done. How big a box
+you’re looking? We got them right around that
+
+"there. Then we got a bigger one about that there.
+Then we got one in the back that’s a biggie.”
+
+LAURA: Probably the grande. The middle.
+
+MARISHA: I was thinking the same thing!
+
+MATT: “All right. Let me go ahead and–”
+
+SAM: Wait! Mr. Pumat, what is it made of? What
+does it do?
+
+MATT: “Well, what the nice lady there is
+requesting is a box that is lined with the
+
+"material known as lead.”
+
+SAM: I’ve heard of the material, but does it have
+any other magical properties?
+
+MATT: “No magical properties. It’s just really
+useful for poisoning yourself if you put food
+
+"storage in there, poisoning other people if you
+store their food in it, and keeping at bay the
+
+"prying eyes of distant divination magics.”
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re probably going to need a
+couple of healing potions as well.
+
+SAM: Yeah, to replenish.
+
+MATT: “Not a problem.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to window shop, then! Thank
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Pumat, we came into a little extra coin
+recently and this is our favorite place to spend.
+
+You don’t happen to have any articles of
+protection, do you? A necklace, a bracelet, a ring?
+
+MATT: “Well, we got this here cloak here on the
+wall. I think you’ve already taken a look at it.
+
+"That’s a pretty protective–”
+
+TRAVIS: It was expensive, right?
+
+TALIESIN: It was expensive.
+
+MATT: The other one who’s knitting is like, “Yeah,
+it’s a pretty penny because that’s a pretty item.”
+
+Goes back to knitting.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, how much precisely was that one
+again?
+
+MATT: “That one will run you about 800 gold
+pieces.”
+
+LAURA: Still out of the reach there.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: (singing) How much is that doggy
+in the window?
+
+MATT: “We got this nice shield over here that we
+just had finished a couple days ago. That’s an
+
+"enchanted little delightful piece. That one is a
+little more affordable at about 550 gold pieces.”
+
+LAURA: What does it look like, though?
+
+MATT: The shield itself has the head of two lions,
+facing away from each other, with their claws
+
+extended. It has almost a diamond shape. It’s a
+pretty decent size. The coloration of it is a
+
+bright gold where the lions are. The back of it is
+a dull, almost graphite metallic, with a gold
+
+border around the edge of it. It’s very pretty.
+
+LAURA: What does it do?
+
+MATT: “This one? It improves your defenses more
+than a normal shield would. It instinctively
+
+"places the shield in places that might help
+protect from incoming blows, therefore making you
+
+"hard to connect with.”
+
+LAURA: Oh. That’s pretty cool.
+
+MATT: (whispers) “It’s a plus one.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: How much is your fancy box?
+
+MATT: “The fancy box that you’re requesting, while
+not actually enchanted, it is taking away one of
+
+"the objects that we keep contained. So,
+respectfully, I’ll have to charge you the cost of
+
+"that one and a replacement, but that’ll simply put
+you back about 15 gold pieces total.”
+
+LAURA: It’s probably smart, though, huh? It’s probably
+made a bit better.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll go in on it. What was in the box
+though, originally?
+
+MATT: “That is none of your concern.”
+
+MARISHA: How much to make it my concern?
+
+MATT: “Your friend is a strange one.”
+
+LAURA: She really is. She’s always asking
+questions that are weird.
+
+LIAM: She is very useful in the right
+circumstances.
+
+MATT: “Oh, I can entirely understand that.”
+
+MARISHA: I’m right here! I can hear you all
+talking about me.
+
+LAURA: She can catch arrows out of midair.
+
+MATT: “That’s really impressive.”
+
+SAM: Mr. Pumat, I have another request. I know
+that I had requested, would it be possible to
+
+invent a small haversack? Just the pocket thing.
+But do you have any sort of magic incantation
+
+ability– if I gave you a flask, could you make it
+never run out of alcohol?
+
+MATT: “Actually, that is a very doable
+enchantment. It’ll take us a little while, but we
+
+"can definitely make something like that happen.”
+
+SAM: How much would that R&D cost me?
+
+MATT: “About a week’s worth of enchanting time,
+the cost will put you at about 250 gold pieces.”
+
+SAM: I’ll take it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Here’s my platinum flask. Could you also put
+a nice little flourishy design on the side of the flask?
+
+MATT: “We can go ahead and outsource that. Yeah,
+we can make that happen for you, couldn’t we?” The
+
+one knitting goes, “Yeah, that’s not a problem at
+all.”
+
+SAM: Oh wow.
+
+LAURA: That’s a lot of gold.
+
+SAM: That’s nothing. It’s nothing at all.
+
+MATT: “You’re going to pay up for now, up front?”
+
+SAM: Sure. Here, take it.
+
+MATT: “Oh, the whole lump sum up front!”
+
+SAM: Yep! All up front!
+
+MATT: “I appreciate your trust in our ability.”
+Writes up a quick little piece of paper. Hands it
+
+to you as a receipt.
+
+LAURA: We should buy that box?
+
+LIAM: We definitely should. I will buy that box
+for us. How much was it?
+
+LAURA: It was 15 gold.
+
+MATT: “15 gold pieces for the box. You wanted two
+healing potions? That’ll put you back about 100
+
+"gold pieces for the two.”
+
+TRAVIS: That sounds fine.
+
+MARISHA: Any other healing potions you got?
+
+MATT: “We got probably another dozen or so more if
+you want to buy.”
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take one more as well.
+
+TRAVIS: Here’s ten platinum.
+
+MATT: “Ten whole platinum. All right there. 50
+gold from each of you. That’s a healing potion to
+
+"each of you.”
+
+LIAM: Also, I assume it is out of my reach
+price-wise, and I’m on a budget, but do you deal
+
+in arcane knowledge? Pre-prepared scrolls of any
+kind?
+
+MATT: “Yeah. We have certainly many number of
+various scrolls and scroll types and spells. If
+
+"that’s what you’re looking for, we can definitely
+provide.”
+
+LIAM: What is the range? What are your lowest
+rung, I guess I’m curious to know.
+
+MATT: “I’m going to go ahead and double-check
+here.” He goes through his ledger. “Let’s see. The
+
+"very basic ones, whether that be cantrips or
+1st-level spellcasting, those are fairly common.
+
+"Those will put you back about 50 to 100 gold,
+approximately.”
+
+LIAM: DM, a question from Liam. Can cantrips be
+added if they’re found?
+
+MATT: I imagine they could.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Greater healing potion, yeah?
+
+MATT: No, it’s a regular healing potion. Regular
+heal. “If you’re going up from there to 2nd- or
+
+"3rd-level, those’ll put you back probably closer
+to maybe 250-500 gold, depending, and then it
+
+"skyrockets from there.”
+
+LIAM: You know, I am interested in everything from
+the second level and below. Do you have a menu?
+
+MATT: “I mean, we have to order them from the
+Academy, but we can get them in here for you. Or
+
+"the Halls of Erudition.”
+
+LIAM: Give me a moment. Player’s Handbook!
+
+MARISHA: Taliesin, are you seeing– wait, no. Are
+you seeing the potion of healing?
+
+SAM: Go to your D&D Beyond app; it has all the
+manuals.
+
+TALIESIN: Potion of healing.
+
+MARISHA: I’m only seeing the greaters.
+
+TALIESIN: Careful if you’re filtering by type. I
+was having a problem with that. It’s “potion of
+
+"healing.”
+
+LAURA: We should probably get back and put the
+thing in this box, though.
+
+MATT: The box is presented, you pay for that, 15
+gold.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s black. It’s not green, blue, or
+purple. It’s black text. It took me a second to
+
+realize.
+
+SAM: Maybe you should cancel the order. Have him
+make something else.
+
+LAURA: What should we have him make?
+
+SAM: A flask.
+
+MATT: A lead flask. It’s weird, every level the
+intelligence gets lower.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, should we go?
+
+LIAM: Hold your horses.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, we’re looking up something.
+
+MATT: While this is happening, Pumat picks up the
+book again and puts the glasses on, and starts
+
+continuing to read.
+
+TALIESIN: I was doing a look around to see if
+there was anything new.
+
+SAM: Did we get any healing potions?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: I got one.
+
+SAM: Do you need any more, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: No, I am very good, thank you.
+
+LAURA: I’ll buy a healing potion.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+MATT: Right, so another 50 off you. 12, nothing at
+the moment. It’s only been a few days, and the
+
+enchantment process and/or the coming in of new
+objects can take a while to stock back up. The
+
+shield is the most recent creation that was
+presented. That’s the only new one you see. Other
+
+than that, there’s still the pearl, there’s still
+the cloak. A few other odds and small wands.
+
+TALIESIN: The cloak was the most exciting thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Forgive me, I couldn’t help but wonder.
+Have you ever had a chance– Pumat Prime, rather–
+
+have you had a chance to exercise your arcane
+abilities?
+
+MATT: “Oh, if you want Pumat Prime, he’s in the
+back. I can go get him for you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.
+
+MATT: “All right.” He puts the book down on the
+counter, glasses off, turns around, leaves. Comes
+
+back in, takes the glasses, puts them on, takes
+the book, and continues reading, while Pumat Prime
+
+comes from the back, once again, the large set of
+goggle glasses on, the apron on. “I was told that
+
+"I was requested to greet you with a ‘hello!’”
+
+MARISHA: What is happening?
+
+TRAVIS: These are all– What’s the correct term?
+
+LAURA: Sicrulalium?
+
+MATT: “Simulacrum. That’s the one, yeah. I know,
+it’s a little confusing.”
+
+TRAVIS: They’re all copies of this fine gentleman.
+Pumat, I wanted to ask, we’re such fans of your
+
+store, did you ever find call to, I don’t know,
+use your magic for combat? What led you to a store
+
+like this?
+
+MATT: “That’s kind of a personal story. Let’s just
+say I didn’t get along with my peers at a young
+
+"age, and found myself wandering. Got picked up by
+some nice mages that saw some potential. Took me
+
+"in and helped me hone my craft, and helped me set
+up a store, and here I am in Zadash.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s great. How many years have you had
+this store?
+
+MATT: “Been running this place for a good 12
+years.”
+
+TRAVIS: Congratulations. It’s really a thing.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+LAURA: What mages were you with? What mages found
+you? Were they with the Academy?
+
+MATT: “Sort of. They were with the Cerberus
+Assembly.”
+
+LAURA: That’s right, you were talking about them
+before.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. They really–” Oh no.
+
+SAM: It gets caught in the corners.
+
+TRAVIS: Shake it out of the corners of the giant
+flask.
+
+LIAM: Oh no!
+
+MARISHA: What is hiding in those corners, though?
+
+SAM: Good stuff.
+
+MATT: “The main person who’s been of aid to me is
+the Headmaster Oremid Hass, who runs the Hall of
+
+"Erudition.”
+
+SAM: We still haven’t gone there, have we? We’ve
+heard about it, like, seven times!
+
+MARISHA: He runs the Hall of Erudition?
+
+MATT: “He’s the Headmaster of the Hall.” He
+scratches his chin for a second. “He’s the
+
+"Archmage of Cultivation within the Cerberus
+Assembly. He’s been a real nice beacon of
+
+"tutelage. He’s a bit rough on the edges, and seems
+tough, but he’s a softie. Especially when it comes
+
+"to small critters. Don’t tell him I said that.”
+For that one moment, you see a look of fear in his eyes.
+
+TRAVIS and LIAM: Small critters.
+
+SAM: Wait, he likes small critters? Like me?
+
+MATT: “Maybe? I don’t know. Anyway, I got to get
+back to work.” He quickly goes into the back room again.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks for your time, Pumat!
+
+MATT: “Don’t mention it!” The one that’s reading
+off to the sides goes–
+
+SAM: He’s cool, right?
+
+MARISHA: That guy’s crazy!
+
+TRAVIS: He’s actually still here.
+
+MARISHA: Gah!
+
+LIAM: Let’s get back to business. I don’t know
+what you have on tap here, but I’m looking for
+
+something, just a cantrip, pretty common,
+shocking–
+
+MATT: “Shocking Grasp. I know what you’re talking
+about.”
+
+LIAM: You know how it works?
+
+MATT: “I got it myself. Anyone want to see?”
+
+TRAVIS: I would like it.
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: “All righty. I like the gumption.” He goes
+and gives a big old handshake to Beauregard. Let
+
+me look that up real fast.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know what I’m agreeing to.
+
+MATT: It’s an auto-hit, because you’re reaching
+out to it. You immediately grab his giant mitt,
+
+and a flash of white light and pain as electricity
+rocks through your body. You take three points of
+
+lightning damage.
+
+MARISHA: (yelps) Fuck!
+
+LIAM: That is the one.
+
+MARISHA: Get that!
+
+MATT: “That one will run you 75 gold pieces.”
+
+LIAM: Excellent. Pause. The other thing–
+
+MATT: “Hands. They look paws-ish, but yeah.”
+
+LIAM: The other one that I am interested in that
+is not really my forte, but many wizards believe
+
+it is of great benefit. Do you have the Shield
+spell?
+
+MATT: “We can get you a Shield spell. That’s a
+pretty standard defensive mechanism for those of
+
+"the arcane persuasion.”
+
+LIAM: How much will that run me?
+
+MATT: He thumbs through the ledger. “That one will
+cost you about 200 gold pieces.”
+
+LIAM: I will take the pair.
+
+MATT: “All righty there.”
+
+SAM: What was the first one?
+
+LAURA: Shocking Grasp.
+
+SAM: We’ll be twinsies.
+
+MATT: “275 gold pieces.” He sets his book back
+down, puts his glasses down, leaves the room for a
+
+second, and is gone for about a minute or so.
+Comes back with two scrolls and sets them on the
+
+table.
+
+LIAM: I will take those. Thank you very much,
+Herr Sol.
+
+MATT: “My pleasure.”
+
+LAURA: Did you just call him “asshole?”
+
+LIAM: That is Arschloch, so no.
+
+SAM: Wait a minute, what does that mean?
+
+LIAM: Which?
+
+SAM: Nothing.
+
+LIAM: Who’s on first?
+
+LAURA: Should we go?
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get that thing in its box.
+
+MATT: “Anything else you guys require, or can you
+leave me to my reading?”
+
+SAM: Whatcha reading?
+
+MATT: “It’s a collection of crazy tales about this
+weird fella.”
+
+LAURA: What guy?
+
+MATT: “It’s The Daring Trials and Tribulations of
+Sir Taryon Darrington. This guy’s been all over
+
+"the place. It’s kind of wild.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Wow. Ten episodes.
+
+LIAM: Fiction, or…?
+
+MATT: Oh, it’s got to be fiction. (laughter) But
+it’s good fiction!
+
+TRAVIS: Are you fucking kidding me?
+
+LIAM: Well, sum it up for me. Give me the Tenser’s
+Floating Disk pitch.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god!
+
+MATT: Well, let me finish my book before I tell
+you too much about it. Needless to say, he’s got
+
+this wild construct-looking friend called Dottie.
+And apparently, according to this thing, there’s
+
+these powerful folks from over there in Tal'Dorei
+that he’s been meeting up with that keep messing
+
+up every time they go on an adventure! Real thorns
+in his side!
+
+LIAM: We can relate. I’m a big reader. If you
+finish that, I don’t know if you are the kind of
+
+fellow who likes to keep every book he reads
+but–
+
+MATT: I got a collection.
+
+LIAM: Oh, ja, that makes sense. Okay. Well, I
+will look for it elsewhere, thank you.
+
+MATT: Sure, I got this shipped out to me from
+Deastok. Perhaps if you are in that vicinity, see
+
+that you get yourself a copy.
+
+LIAM: Oh, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Bestseller or used book?
+
+MATT: I had never heard of it until this, so
+probably not that easy to find.
+
+LIAM: Would you be able to put in an order for
+this book for me?
+
+MATT: I mean, I’m not really a book retailer.
+
+LIAM: I understand, but you know many people. You
+are obviously a very knowledgeable fellow who has
+
+vast connections.
+
+MARISHA: I bet we could go back to the Chastity’s
+Nook for that.
+
+SAM: They will probably have it.
+
+MATT: That is probably a place to look for a
+book.
+
+LAURA: It sounds like smut to me.
+
+LIAM: It’s a dirty book?
+
+MATT: Not yet.
+
+LIAM: All right. Well, I wait for your full
+review. Thank you.
+
+LAURA: You just wait.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: It’s called “The Daring Tales.”
+
+SAM: Sounds like shite, Caleb. There are much
+better books out there.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go. Come on, there are things that
+need to be taken care of, Caleb!
+
+LIAM: True. I got distracted. You know.
+
+TRAVIS: Pumat, thanks for your time. We will not
+be bothering you any longer.
+
+LAURA: But we will be back because we like you so
+much!
+
+MATT: You are always welcome any time! All of us
+are happy to see you come in and spend your
+
+hard-earned money.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Goodbye.
+
+MATT: “Goodbye!” “Goodbye!” “Goodbye!” A little
+hand comes out from the curtain in the back.
+
+“Bye-bye!”
+
+LAURA: Let’s go! Come on, we’ve got to get back
+to the Tap!
+
+TRAVIS: We double dash back to the Tap.
+
+SAM: To the Tap? Why are we going there now? Oh,
+to the box thing!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and to look at the stuff Caleb
+identified for us.
+
+MATT: All right, so you guys return. Do you head
+down to the basement?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: I make sure it’s still there.
+
+MATT: It’s still there.
+
+LAURA: Let’s put it in the thing!
+
+LIAM: So I put the box right down next to me and I
+put my coat–
+
+SAM: Is the skeleton alive?
+
+MATT: No, the skeleton is still dead.
+
+MARISHA: He didn’t bring anything back to life,
+that’s good.
+
+LIAM: Okay. So, this is better than it was before.
+You have monster calves, do you want to carry this now?
+
+LAURA: What, like, on me all the time?
+
+LIAM: I am–
+
+MATT: As he’s holding it, placing it over the
+box, there’s still that undulating low hum and
+
+grayish glow–
+
+LAURA: I mean, I can carry this box with me all
+the time, but don’t you think it’s weird to carry
+
+around a box all the time?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+LIAM: No, people carry boxes.
+
+SAM: Can we put the box in the–?
+
+TALIESIN: The bag?
+
+SAM: Oh wait, we can’t put the box in the bag.
+
+TRAVIS: Why?
+
+SAM: Crossing the streams.
+
+MARISHA: But now we can put the dodecah-shit-ball
+in the box and now the box in the bag, right?
+
+MATT: Make an arcana check.
+
+SAM: Still crossing the streams.
+
+MARISHA: Still crossing the streams?
+
+LIAM: The lead is just to protect this item from
+divination.
+
+TRAVIS: 22. Plus four.
+
+LIAM: I am worried about crossing two planes of
+existence. It might not be that at all, but it is
+
+definitely not worth chancing.
+
+MATT: The essence, as you’re looking at this and
+concentrating on this object, trying to get a
+
+grasp on it now that you have a good moment to
+look at it. The school of magic, or whatever the
+
+source of the magic is here, escapes you. It seems
+almost beyond or separate than some of the magics
+
+that you’ve naturally learned through your
+acquisition of spells and the pact that you had
+
+made. But you don’t get the sense that it’s
+extraplanar or anything that would constitute the
+
+same level of danger that you think Caleb is
+focused on.
+
+LIAM: Tell me.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I say that.
+
+LIAM: What, you have experience with things of
+this nature?
+
+TRAVIS: It seems like a different sort of arcana
+than the type that I’ve seen.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, that’s fine. I’m going to walk
+about 200 feet away from you when you put it in
+
+that bag–
+
+LAURA: I put it in the bag.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Okay! I need you all to roll– no, I’m
+kidding.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Well, that’s a TPK. You plop it in the bag
+and it vanishes inside the pouch.
+
+LAURA: How long does it take to take effect if we’re
+all going to die?
+
+LIAM: It takes about two weeks, so I guess we’ll
+find out.
+
+LAURA: Eventually! I put my bag back on.
+
+TRAVIS: What else we got?
+
+LIAM: Oh yes, very good things.
+
+SAM: Yes, the items!
+
+LIAM: The daggers are just daggers, okay.
+
+SAM: I’ll take those.
+
+LIAM: Who cares about daggers, honestly? But
+this– I hold up this longsword which I can barely
+
+hold up. This would be good for either of you two.
+I will let you decide. Fjord, here. This is a very
+
+strong sword; it is very good against creatures.
+That is for you to look at. Then these boots would
+
+make anyone better, but I think that Beauregard
+might benefit from them the most. I could be
+
+wrong; I’m going to give them to Beau and let you
+decide.
+
+MARISHA: All right, all right.
+
+LAURA: What is it? What are they? What do they
+do?
+
+MATT: The downside is longswords are not
+finesse weapons, so you’d have to use strength
+
+to utilize it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s pretty dope.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Pretty dope.
+
+TALIESIN: This is really bloody heavy.
+
+LAURA: Is it–
+
+TALIESIN: You could actually–
+
+LAURA: Could I use that? A longsword?
+
+MATT: Yeah, well, are you proficient with weapons
+like a longsword? Your weapon proficiencies? My
+
+Player’s Handbook keeps disappearing from me.
+
+SAM: Why do we only have one?
+
+LIAM: There’s another one, it’s just gone
+missing.
+
+TALIESIN: I know someone who might really enjoy
+this if you don’t want it.
+
+MARISHA: We have like 30 Handbooks around here
+somewhere.
+
+TALIESIN: We took them all outside and they stayed
+there.
+
+LAURA: Did I put that down? I might have written
+my proficiencies–
+
+SAM: How many weapons can you wield?
+
+LAURA: Simple weapons!
+
+MATT: Yeah, so you could not use a longsword.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I know somebody who could really
+enjoy this, and I’ll hold on to it for a friend.
+
+LAURA: Could Yasha use that?
+
+TALIESIN: I think Yasha might get a kick out of
+it.
+
+LAURA: Oh! That’s great!
+
+MARISHA: Wait, is she still a thing? She’s going
+to come back?
+
+SAM: Gone forever!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve known Yasha a long time, she makes her
+way back around.
+
+TRAVIS: Although that greatsword she has is
+mighty fine.
+
+LIAM: I mean, we will probably never see her
+again, that seems a little foolish to me.
+
+LAURA: I hope she’s still in the city, because
+otherwise she’s going to have a really hard time
+
+trying to get back in.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll eventually need a bath and we’ll
+find her again.
+
+LIAM: Could one of us carry it until she returns?
+Who could really use it?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think anyone can use it.
+
+LIAM: Not you? You are so good with a sword!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, certainly. I just have a preference with
+mine. I’m just real comfortable with it. You know
+
+when you get a feel for something, you don’t want
+to change it up too much.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s worth holding onto.
+
+LIAM: Of course, yes.
+
+MARISHA: I respect her ability to handle her own
+shit on her own time.
+
+LAURA: What do the boots do?
+
+MARISHA: They’re pretty great! So I strap on the
+big, gothy boots–
+
+TRAVIS: Big-ass tall Doc Martens.
+
+MARISHA: Super tall Doc Martens, lots of little
+fur-lined, lots of straps and zippers.
+
+MATT: These boots are designed in a similar style
+as to the armor of the Xhorhasian individual you
+
+had fought.
+
+LAURA: Is it kind of obvious?
+
+MATT: No, not obvious. They’re made of a very dark
+brown or black leather with studs and the tops of
+
+them curl up into two spikes at the tip at each
+side.
+
+MARISHA: How do they look?
+
+LAURA: Well, normally you’re barefoot so it looks
+pretty good. It makes your pants billow a little
+
+weird but I like it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s hard to tuck your pants into
+your boots.
+
+LIAM: I thought you would like those. Was I right?
+I was right, wasn’t I?
+
+MARISHA: They’re pretty great. They add 1d8 to my
+initiative roll.
+
+LIAM: Once per day. So you can choose a moment
+to get the jump.
+
+MARISHA: Does anyone else feel like they might
+benefit from these more than me?
+
+LIAM: I mean, anybody would, but–
+
+TALIESIN: I think I’m pretty good with this.
+
+TRAVIS: My initiative bonus is zero, just saying.
+(exaggerated cough) No, you keep them.
+
+MARISHA: Your initiative bonus is zero?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but you know Beauregard really is the
+most capable fighter in this group, at this moment
+
+in time. What? That’s just the truth. Can you
+handle the truth?
+
+LAURA: Can you handle the truth?
+
+MARISHA: I feel like Nott might be able to do some
+good with these too, if she had them.
+
+SAM: I defer to the wisdom of the group. We merely
+follow your expert wisdom.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m sensing some passive
+aggressive–
+
+SAM: No! I am sincere!
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering) Just smile and say, “Thank
+you, Nott.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you, Nott.
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering) Very good.
+
+MARISHA: Very good. Thank you. Thank you, Nott.
+
+SAM: What is that crazy expression?!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I saw your gums for a second. It was freaky.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t patronize me, Nott.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, I take out the Wand of Smiles and I
+cast it at her.
+
+MATT: Well, you have to make a saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, do I?
+
+SAM: I forgot we had that.
+
+MARISHA: What kind of a saving throw?
+
+MATT: Is it a wisdom saving throw?
+
+LAURA: Charisma.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s not good for me. Nope,
+definitely not.
+
+MATT: Yep, for the next minute, your face is
+curled up into a Joker-like smile.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I love making people happy.
+
+LAURA: Now you look so happy! It’s so wonderful!
+
+MARISHA: (voice cracking) I am so happy!
+
+TRAVIS: So we should– ugh, just look at them!
+
+TALIESIN: Ugh!
+
+TRAVIS: We should probably do something. We still
+have to wrap up this deception of ours.
+
+LAURA: Oh, right. What are we supposed to do now?
+
+MARISHA: (brightly) Go talk to the Gentleman, of
+course.
+
+LAURA: But wait–
+
+TRAVIS: You sound like The General car insurance.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) 1-800-General!
+
+LAURA: What does The General have to do with–
+
+SAM: The Gentleman.
+
+LAURA: What does the Gentleman have to do with
+this plan, though?
+
+SAM: We were going to investigate Kara, who was
+going to the bar that the Gentleman frequents.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s what it was. Okay, so we go to
+the Evening Nip to investigate her, and then we
+
+just happen to talk to the Gentleman, too?
+
+SAM: If it happens, if it comes up.
+
+LIAM: But also, we did not get the full catch-up,
+Fjord. What about the remnants of– I know
+
+everything is verkakte. The High-Richter is
+dead, that’s half the job done in a way we did not
+
+predict, but what about Lord Sutan? Did you talk
+to Dolan? And are they going to get the
+
+Crownsguard in there?
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, we have to send the guards to find
+the evidence! Oh god!
+
+LIAM: We can’t do anything. Dolan was going to
+handle that part of this.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like it’s all gone to shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I think that’s right, actually. I
+forgot that part.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if it’s all a distraction, though,
+for the big stuff.
+
+MARISHA: I think that’s exactly what this is.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m wondering if the guards are already
+there looking at the mysterious explosion that
+
+happened in that house.
+
+LAURA: Well, that was the High-Richter’s house.
+But Lord Sutan probably went home and noticed his
+
+rug was missing.
+
+LIAM: Absolutely noticed that the very expensive
+magical rug is gone!
+
+LAURA: And so did he go to the guards, or did he
+go, “Oh shit, I was hiding something?”
+
+TRAVIS: Did we plant something in Lord Sutan’s
+house, are they going to find the letter from–
+
+SAM: And we stole a seal.
+
+LIAM: Listen, this could all appear like the
+Knights turned on the High-Richter. I thought we
+
+wanted to get rid of Lord Sutan?
+
+TRAVIS: We did.
+
+LAURA: Yes, but we put evidence in his house. So
+if he noticed that the rug was missing–
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: He goes to the Crownsguard to report a
+robbery. Then they go in and they find the
+
+evidence that he was actually trying to be behind
+the attack that happened. So it actually is good
+
+that we destroyed the rug, because it led the
+guards into his house.
+
+SAM: Hmm.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if he would report a robbery
+if he had a Rug of Attacking and you triggered it.
+
+LIAM: And actual connections to the Myriad.
+
+LAURA: But he– Are you okay, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Smiling is so painful.
+
+LAURA: It can be.
+
+MARISHA: (groans)
+
+LAURA: Should we go spy on his house, and see if
+there are crownsguard in it?
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+TRAVIS: We could certainly go by.
+
+LAURA: Do you think they would let anyone back
+into the Tri-Spire?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit, I forgot.
+
+LIAM: It’ll flip the situation. Dolan, I believe,
+was saying that with the High-Richter in place,
+
+she was favoring Sutan. And now she is gone, Dolan
+will hopefully take that seat. If he takes that
+
+seat, Dolan is not going to protect Lord Sutan in
+the way that he claimed that the High-Richter was.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know, maybe we walk away from the
+whole thing. Discuss it as a possibility.
+
+TRAVIS: We got paid already. How much did I get
+paid? Because it was minus Kara’s.
+
+MATT: Minus Kara’s, that would have been 628 gold,
+21 silver, and 302 copper.
+
+SAM: Oh, did we get paid?
+
+TRAVIS: I did.
+
+LAURA: For what?
+
+SAM: Fuck that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So what’s the plan?
+
+LIAM: Well, here’s the thing. If Dolan assumes that
+seat– we have no idea if that’s going to happen,
+
+but if Dolan does take that Richter’s seat, Sutan,
+if nothing happens to him, if no guards go into
+
+Sutan’s house, he knows that his rug is gone, he
+realizes someone has been in his home, 100%, he
+
+looks through the home himself, finds our fake
+message from the Myriad or whoever, would he
+
+retaliate on Dolan? Do we care?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re actually… yeah. I don’t
+think you’re so far off. There’s something weird
+
+that’s been striking me with Dolan this whole
+time. He doesn’t seem like he really has the
+
+tenacity of someone who actually wanted that seat.
+Maybe he was a pawn this whole time. That guy is
+
+kind of a coward.
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: And I mean this with all due respect –
+the guy was kind of a coward!
+
+LAURA: I am sad that I did that to her, because–
+
+MARISHA: That’s how you do it, right? No?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if they’ll send anything back
+on Dolan, but we should find a way to get
+
+crownsguard into Lord Sutan’s place.
+
+LIAM: Well, it was Dolan who said, I believe, he
+had the relationship with Orentha, so he was going
+
+to report this stuff to Orentha and have
+crownsguard go in. Now, due to the circumstances
+
+of the evening, we have missed the element of a
+quick surprise. They did not rush in the way we
+
+had hoped. So he’s already realized somebody has
+jacked his shit. I’m not worried, really, about
+
+him finding us, but he had a bad night when he
+came home.
+
+TRAVIS: We can’t have Dolan rat on him. Hmm.
+
+LIAM: But if we don’t give a shit about Dolan,
+then there’s no problem, really. But maybe we do?
+
+MARISHA: I am really interested in this Kara girl.
+I’m wondering if she’s a puppet master throughout
+
+this whole game.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s try that.
+
+SAM: So we’ll go to the Evening Nip?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Let’s try that.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you guys are going to the Evening
+Nip? All right. You make your way over to the
+
+familiar, dirty, small, sunken dive bar, the same
+two beefy-looking guards on the outside eyeing you
+
+as you enter. You come inside. The same two
+individuals sitting at the the same booth and the
+
+far table. And there lies Clive Binz, the dwarf
+with the half-burned beard. As you enter, he’s
+
+like, “Ah, good to see you again. What can I get
+you?”
+
+LAURA: Shit.
+
+MARISHA: This is Clive the bartender? Hold. Pause.
+It’s something along the lines of– Okay.
+
+SAM: Are we gonna do this? Are we doing the
+Gentleman?
+
+MARISHA: This is Clive the bartender, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, Clive.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we are. So Beau and Jester walk up,
+and say–
+
+LAURA: Hi.
+
+MARISHA: ‘Sup.
+
+MATT: “Can I get you anything?”
+
+MARISHA: I mean, I know I’d like a drink.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I would like some milk.
+
+MARISHA: But unfortunately we have no coin.
+However, we are willing to offer many gifts.
+
+MATT: “Right. Well, then. Take these gifts with
+you.” He turns around and looks at the rest of
+
+you, and steps into the back room.
+
+LAURA: Do we follow him?
+
+SAM: I’m so scared right now.
+
+MATT: Do you follow him?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we fucking follow him into the
+room!
+
+MATT: All right. You step into the back room of
+this dive, and as you step inside, it’s a storage
+
+cupboard. There’s shelves up there with various
+bottles of liquor, wine, and ale. He’s currently
+
+pulling a small chain up on the corner. As he
+does, you watch as a small trap door goes
+
+(creaking), it winches up, and there’s a stairway that
+leads down. And he goes–
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Mazel tov.
+
+MATT: As you all slowly descend down the stairs,
+it closes behind you. You hear a few things
+
+shift over it. You descend down the stairway, and
+you begin to pick up the sound of soft music.
+
+There’s a gentle violin playing, and a lute or
+some sort of small string instrument. This
+
+staircase spirals downward onto the left, and as
+it curves down for about 40 or so feet, it’s
+
+getting colder just from the subterranean depth,
+that you’re going from the warmer surface.
+
+Eventually, you hear some voices and some
+laughter, and a clink of glasses. As you curve
+
+down, the light gets brighter from around the
+corner, until suddenly you look into a stone-set
+
+subterranean tavern. From floor to ceiling, it’s
+about 20 feet tall. You can see there are two
+
+balconies that overlook it from the left side, and
+one that’s barely visible around the corner, as
+
+the room opens up to the right of you. There’s a
+table immediately down from where the spiral
+
+staircase ends, and there’s a gruff-looking fellow
+sitting there looking up as you enter. He looks
+
+immediately defensive. The rest of the people in
+there are drinking, and not immediately paying
+
+attention. As you begin to descend the stairway,
+who all’s going in?
+
+LAURA: All of us.
+
+MATT: All right. You all begin to descend to the
+bottom of the stairs. There’s maybe about a dozen
+
+or so people in here, between the bartender,
+folks, and you can see two people are playing
+
+music on the upper balcony. There’s laughter and
+discussion, and there’s a card game at the center
+
+table. You see a maroon and dull grey robed person
+arrive, but their body is covered with a dark
+
+black, almost panther-like fur. Their face is
+cat-like, with ears that curl up. This is a black
+
+tabaxi that has turned around the corner, and
+goes, “Halt, friends. I do not recognize– Lucien?”
+
+SAM: Who? What?
+
+MATT: (incredulous) “You’re alive!”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, sorry, friend, I’ve got one of those
+faces people tend to recognize.
+
+MATT: (gasping in disbelief) “Lucien!” She goes
+forward and does a huge hug.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I’ll go with it.
+
+MATT: And that’s where we’re going to end
+tonight’s episode!
+
+(screaming)
+
+TRAVIS: (shouting) Insight check! Insight check on
+Taliesin! Insight check!
+
+MATT: We’ll come back to that.
+
+That’s a d10, that doesn’t matter.
+
+SAM, MARISHA, and TALIESIN: Lucien?!
+
+LAURA: Lucien?! That’s a cool name!
+
+SAM: What?! Who’s that?
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: Who the fuck?
+
+LAURA: Everybody’s a liar!
+
+LIAM: This is just the first layer of the onion.
+There’s eight more names to come!
+
+SAM: He’s actually a robot!
+
+TRAVIS: Look at Taliesin right now. Just look at
+him.
+
+LAURA: You sneaky bastard!
+
+TALIESIN: You fuckers don’t know shit.
+
+LIAM: You fake-name-making motherfucker!
+
+MARISHA: How many names have you had?!
+
+SAM: An hour ago you were telling me that I had to
+trust you people! You lying fuckers!
+
+MARISHA: No, we never said to trust us! We said
+not to trust us specifically!
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t say anything!
+
+MATT: All righty. We’ll pick up from that point
+next week. Until then, we’ll see some of you guys at
+
+C2E2 in Chicago this weekend. Looking forward to
+that! We’ll be back on this next Thursday to see
+
+where this goes.
+
+TALIESIN: So excited.
+
+MATT: (giggles) Until then, we love you guys. Have
+a wonderful week, and is it Thursday yet? Good night!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: (laughter) God damn it! Welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+(howling)
+
+MATT: We are unfortunately down one Laura Bailey
+tonight because she got the con plague from
+
+Chicago, and she needs a little baby to take care
+of, so she’s going to be at home, watching and
+
+texting these guys if they do anything really
+wrong with Jester.
+
+ASHLEY: Please, just come.
+
+LIAM: We almost had three women at this table.
+
+MATT: Almost. But we have Ashley back. Back back
+for a while now. So happy you’ve returned.
+
+ASHLEY: Me too.
+
+MATT: Before we jump into the game, we have some
+announcements to get to tonight. First and
+
+foremost, we have our sponsor tonight, D&D Beyond.
+Sam, if you want to take it from here.
+
+SAM: Okay. Let’s see if we can do this. Good luck.
+You know, the best part about D&D Beyond is
+
+keeping track of your important stuff. And there’s
+one important thing we keep losing: Ashley
+
+Johnson. Please put this on. So I’m proud to give
+you the first ever D&D Beyond Presents: The Mighty
+
+Nein Welcome Back Yasha Ceremony, featuring Ashley
+Johnson, everybody. Maestro, hit it. Oh, there’s
+
+the award show music. I’m your host, D&D Beyond
+presents Sam Riegel, and we’re going to go around
+
+the room super fast to honor Ashley’s triumphant
+return. Didn’t work. First up is Travis. None of
+
+them work. First up is Travis with a toast.
+
+TRAVIS: When I drink to you, Ashley, my heart is
+as full as my glass.
+
+SAM: That’s enough! There’s no time! We got to
+keep going! I can’t do it! Do it for me! Now we’re
+
+going to go to Taliesin with a song.
+
+TALIESIN: (singing) Should auld acquaintance be
+forgot, and–
+
+SAM: That’s enough! Marisha has a poem prepared!
+
+MARISHA: Welcome back, Ashley, good friend of
+mine, goodbye Blindspot, hello Nein!
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: And finally, Liam prepared an old Irish
+blessing!
+
+LIAM: (Irish accent) Oh may the road rise up to
+meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May
+
+the sun shine warm upon your face–
+
+SAM: Okay, that’s enough, we don’t have time.
+Ashley, you are a good and creative person, and
+
+D&D Beyond wants you to honor the good– D&D
+Beyond wants to honor the goodness and creativity
+
+of the fine folks at 826LA by kicking off the
+826LA charity push.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: For every nat one rolled by us, D&D Beyond
+will be donating a hundred dollars– Is that
+
+true?– to 826LA! Also, D&D Beyond is
+retroactively donating for all the nat ones we’ve
+
+rolled so far in this campaign!
+
+LIAM: So many!
+
+SAM: That’s like 4200 bucks! But there’s
+more. Once we hit the 10,000 dollar donation tier
+
+level– I don’t really understand this part–
+Critters will unlock a special discount code for
+
+the legendary bundle on D&D Beyond!
+
+(cheering)
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: It’s totally not toxic.
+
+LIAM: It’s in my drink!
+
+SAM: Was this all planned for Ashley’s return? No!
+This was planned far before! But hey, it sure
+
+feels like it. So from all of us at the table, and
+the guys at D&D Beyond: Welcome back, Ashley.
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: D&D Beyond!
+
+TRAVIS: 826LA!
+
+MATT: Everyone at Wyrmwood watching just cringed
+as we showered the table.
+
+MARISHA: Here, Ashley, I’m going to tie it to your
+chair like we’re at Applebee’s.
+
+LIAM: Low, don’t let them set the lights on fire.
+
+SAM: Oh, I forgot to give you your award of
+excellence. It’s from Jurassic World.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes! Oh, guys, come on, this is the best!
+
+LIAM: My Wyrmwood has never looked so festive.
+
+TALIESIN: This is the most festive D&D game I’ve
+ever experienced.
+
+LIAM: I didn’t shoot my silly string, because it’s
+hair spray.
+
+TALIESIN: You were supposed to have a lighter
+too.
+
+SAM: Wait, it’s hairspray?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes it is.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t even look at mine! That could
+have gone so poorly!
+
+SAM: I think I bought the wrong thing at the
+store!
+
+MATT: We almost had an actual Burning Hands
+example on script. Thank you, D&D Beyond, for
+
+helping with our wonderful push for 826. We’ll
+have a video at the break today to show and
+
+explain some of the stuff involved with this whole
+charity push for 826, so look for that at the break.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh man, I love you guys.
+
+MARISHA: So go pee, but watch it at the break,
+it’s really important.
+
+MATT: A couple of things some of you may have
+noticed, but if you haven’t–we have a fantastic
+
+partnership with Obsidian for the upcoming Pillars
+of Eternity II: Deadfire, where number one the
+
+cast of Critical Role have been cast throughout
+the game as a number of the main characters in the
+
+story. I’m returning as mine and we have everyone
+else joining the awesome personalities all
+
+throughout Deadfire and on top of that you will
+have free DLC unlocked for custom voice sets and
+
+character portraits of Vox Machina, including
+Gilmore, available to use in the game.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: First time ever.
+
+SAM: Who’s voicing Gilmore?
+
+MATT: I think Max is voicing– No, I’m voicing
+Gilmore. We’re super excited, they look amazing,
+
+and we’re excited for you guys to check it out.
+You can go ahead and pre-order now at
+
+versusevil.com/criticalrole to pre-order the game
+if you want to check it out. I love the series and
+
+I’m super excited for the sequel, completely
+unbiased and then biased–hell yeah.
+
+LIAM: Recording Vox Machina and Gilmore lines was
+sur-real!
+
+MATT: That was the most surreal thing.
+
+LIAM: It was so good!
+
+MATT: So crazy.
+
+LIAM: Travis’s might have been my favorite. It was
+fun.
+
+MATT: All right, 826LA did you make it all through
+everything there?
+
+SAM: I did! It was kind of chaotic, but they’re
+donating for natural ones, they are retroactively
+
+donating for natural ones.
+
+MATT: Did you get to the matching the dollar
+amount?
+
+SAM: Oh no! Is that the 10k thing? I was confused.
+
+MATT: We do have a video at the break, but we have
+a fantastic critter who is going to be matching
+
+every dollar donated to the charity as well up to
+40K. Great stuff! Twitch Prime: if you have an
+
+Amazon Prime account, then you can combine it with
+your Twitch account. And thus, you can subscribe
+
+for free to a channel of your choice on Twitch
+once each month. So check it out. If you’ve ever
+
+wanted to go support your favorite streamers out
+there you can do it for free through Twitch Prime.
+
+We have new Twitch emotes available for being
+subscribers including some fun ones based on the
+
+new campaign! So we also have a Nein emote for
+our $10 subscription.
+
+ALL: Nein!
+
+SAM: Spend ten, get nine.
+
+ASHLEY: I have a Pike one, because we haven’t
+established what Yasha’s thing is yet.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s hard to show off eyeliner.
+
+LIAM: A sliced-up corpse victim, maybe?
+
+SAM: She’s the absence of emoji.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll figure out who she is together.
+
+MATT: Also if you need a refresher for campaign
+two, Critical Recap. The first 13 episodes of our
+
+new show are recapped now through Critical Recap
+on YouTube. Our fantastic Dani Carr is the host,
+
+check it out if you or anyone of your friends want
+to get caught up really quickly to watch live.
+
+Talks Machina from our recently paroled Brian W.
+Foster will be hosting this upcoming Tuesday at
+
+7:00pm Pacific on Twitch and Project Alpha about
+tonight’s episode. Check it out, we’ll have some
+
+guests from the show on there to talk about what
+transpires tonight. Of course, the podcast of last
+
+week’s episode is also for download where all fine
+podcasts (laughs) are available.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not moving it.
+
+MATT: We’ve made a huge mistake.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not touching it.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Available where all fine podcasts are
+downloadable to get caught up in the campaign
+
+audio-wise. Issue six! Our final issue of the
+six-run Vox Machina: Origins series is going to be
+
+available for download April 16th on Dark Horse’s
+digital download platform for comics, ComiXology,
+
+and many other places. Check it out, and I hope
+you enjoy the finale of this six issue run. I
+
+think that’s enough! We’ve talked about enough
+there. With that being said, folks, let’s go ahead
+
+and dive into tonight’s episode of Critical Role!
+Goddamn it!
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. Last we left off, the
+Mighty Nein had gotten caught up with some
+
+interesting folks, the Knights of Requital, who
+had hoped to help shift the political balance in
+
+the city, remove the framing and forging of
+equipment, of materials and letters, some of the
+
+corrupt individuals of the local government. They had
+gone out into the evening, infiltrated a few of
+
+the homes and left this information behind, gotten
+in a few scuffles, leaving one of them, the
+
+High-Richter, dead, and shortly after there was an
+attack on the Tri-Spire. What are you looking at,
+
+Sam? God damn it.
+
+LIAM: That’s it! You’re in the clear.
+
+MATT: I’ll remember this (laughs). Noticing there
+was seemingly an attack upon the Tri-Spire by two
+
+Xhorhasian assassin-type individuals, you met with
+one in the sewer trying to escape from being seen
+
+by the local guard during this confrontation and
+did battle with a Crick warrior of some kind. You
+
+subdued it, removed most of its equipment, and
+conflicted over this strange artifact, this beacon
+
+that it was carrying, sent it on its way; however,
+it was quickly caught by the guard and killed. You
+
+met, on the surface, the guard that were bringing
+the corpse and the object along, managed to spirit
+
+away the strange dodecahedron from the grasp of
+the town guard and absconded with it. You met with
+
+Dolan and Horris who’re currently trying to figure
+out what to do in case they were somehow
+
+implicated with the events of the evening. You
+took Horris under your wing, promising Dolan that
+
+you would somehow smuggle him out of the city as
+it’s currently on lockdown during this
+
+investigation. You all then managed to try and
+find some sort of lead on what the next step would
+
+be, went toward the Evening Nip apparently to seek
+possibly this individual known as The Gentlemen of
+
+which you have heard of previously as Kara, one of
+the members of the Knights of Requital, who had
+
+vanished seemingly had some sort of connection
+there. So you entered the Evening Nip, the rather
+
+dark and strange interior of the small dive bar,
+gave the previously discovered words, the code
+
+words that allowed you entry and were led down a
+long spiral staircase beneath the establishment
+
+into a subterranean bar. Upon which, after
+immediately stepping into the space, a
+
+black-furred female tabaxi approached Mollymauk
+over here and with a look of recognition said,
+
+“Lucien,” and then embraced you. And that’s where
+we left off.
+
+TRAVIS: (shouting) Fucking insight check on
+Taliesin! No, I’m kidding.
+
+MATT: So as you guys all watch this dark-furred
+tabaxi giving this big, strong hug around
+
+Mollymauk’s shoulders. Pulls away and looks at you
+and goes, “It has been too long, two ye–”
+
+TALIESIN: Far too long!
+
+MATT: “Two years! (laughs) Look at you! You
+grew out your hair!”
+
+TALIESIN: Ah yes, it’s been quite an interesting
+two years.
+
+MATT: “And you are covered in tattoos!”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll catch up, we need a table, we need
+drinks for me and my compatriots.
+
+MATT: “Of course, you– these are your friends
+now?”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a long story and I can’t tell you
+everything right now. You know how it is.
+
+MATT: “Very well.” As the tabaxi turns around, you
+can see there is posted right off to the right and
+
+around the corner a hulking figure that has leaned
+around the edge that leads into this L-shaped
+
+tavern. A hefty, muscular ogre that is wearing
+patchwork hide armor and holding a giant maul
+
+resting on the ground, looks back around the
+corner with these beady, dark eyes and large,
+
+looming jaw with angry broken teeth protruding
+from underneath going (snorts). Looks at the rest
+
+of you. Other folks around are looking a bit
+confused at your entry. Right immediately to your
+
+left is a table with a rough-and-tumble looking
+cutthroat sitting there eating a sandwich with a
+
+half-drunken drink, who’s chewing slowly with this
+glare of mistrust in your direction. There are two
+
+balconies up above you in the chamber. You now get
+a better look up at the top, there are a number of
+
+individuals posted and some of them appear to be
+drinking, but there is at least one of them
+
+immediately in your view who has two skulking
+looking individuals with long dark cloaks and dark
+
+armor, carrying what looks almost like a heavy
+crossbow, but it’s a long, metal rod. You’ve only seen
+
+them in use here and there, but these are some
+sort of a rifle-like firearm that are usually
+
+reserved for the armies and Bladegarden and to the
+far east of Xhorhas. A recently emerging
+
+technology that has been largely guarded within
+use of the empire itself.
+
+TALIESIN: Literally everything coming back to
+haunt me. Okay, cool.
+
+TRAVIS: If we had to ballpark it, how many persons
+would you say are in this?
+
+MATT: 13 or so people in this tavern,
+including the bartender, the individual who rushed
+
+to you as you entered, and various patrons around
+that you can get a quick bead on.
+
+TALIESIN: The second she turns, I’m going to turn
+and give Fjord a little pat on the back and make a
+
+whisper really quickly.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Make a whisper?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m gonna whisper in Fjord’s ear–
+I’m sorry, this is my nightmare, please just go
+
+with it? It’s Lucien. And I’m back around. Pass it
+on.
+
+MATT: Okay, which as soon as you say that, you
+back away and look right behind Fjord as you all
+
+are standing there. There’s Yasha.
+
+SAM: Oh, what?
+
+TALIESIN: (nervous laugh)
+
+SAM: Just at the bar?
+
+MATT: No, right behind you as if she had just come
+down the stairs with you.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Yasha!
+
+SAM: (shrieks)
+
+ASHLEY: Hey! So?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m apparently Lucien from two years
+ago. From two years ago. It’s Lucien, remember?
+
+It’s been ages!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, it’s been a minute. Hey, you guys
+walked right past me in the bar upstairs so I
+
+decided to–
+
+LIAM: You are like a bad penny.
+
+SAM: We did not walk right past you! We looked
+around! You’re big, we would have seen you!
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve been right behind you the whole time,
+I don’t know how you didn’t know I was here.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so glad to see you.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m glad to see you too, Mollymauk.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s Lucien. It’s Lucien.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s Lucien!
+
+LIAM: There’s nothing private about our situation
+at all, right? There’s people everywhere?
+
+MATT: Well, there’s people all throughout the
+tavern, but there’s some music playing. There’s
+
+two musicians that are in the process of plucking
+away at two instruments. Everyone seems further in
+
+the chamber, rather absorbed in their current
+rigmarole, but you guys have just stepped down the
+
+stairs. You haven’t left the stairs. You are
+literally standing right at the entrance of this
+
+tavern and you’ve all been taken aback by that
+encounter, the realization that Yasha had followed
+
+you down the stairs, and whatever is about to
+transpire.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll explain later, just go with it
+please?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, Yasha followed us, she wasn’t
+starting down here.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+MARISHA: Gotcha.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t mind rolling with this name
+Lucien, but does it bring any extra trouble with it?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. We’ll find out.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+TALIESIN: Just go with it, I’ll explain later.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+LIAM: And it all makes sense to you?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll explain later!
+
+MARISHA: This club is awesome!
+
+TALIESIN: I hate you.
+
+SAM: Do I have to change my name in this club?
+
+MARISHA: Are we all supposed to change our names?
+
+SAM: We should all come up with different names.
+
+TALIESIN: It might be easier just to have them all
+killed right now– I didn’t say that out loud. I
+
+didn’t say that out loud. I’m just thinking out
+loud, oh, god. It’s going to be fine, I’m not
+
+panicking.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Let’s go get drinks!
+
+MATT: At this point, a hand claps and the tabaxi
+is now at one of the tables and has shooed off one
+
+of the drinks and goes, “This way, I found a table
+for everyone.”
+
+TALIESIN: Come, sit down. I give the tabaxi
+another hug as we sit down. How have you been?
+
+It’s been ages!
+
+MATT: “Oh, too long. I apologize for using your
+old name. Nonagon, it is a pleasure to see you again.”
+
+TRAVIS: Not a chance. I didn’t catch that at all.
+
+MATT: Nonagon was what you heard.
+
+MARISHA: Nonagon.
+
+SAM: That’s the tabaxi, not the ogre?
+
+MATT: No, the tabaxi said that.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s my name.
+
+MARISHA: Wait.
+
+TRAVIS: Lucien Nonagon.
+
+MATT: Basically what was said was, “I’m sorry for
+saying your old name, Nonagon.” Was correcting
+
+Lucien to Mollymauk.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, is Nonagon like a slang for– or
+like a word for sorry?
+
+MATT: You don’t know.
+
+TALIESIN: Who can keep track these days? Again, a
+long story.
+
+MATT: “Nonagon, what happened? We watched you
+die.”
+
+TALIESIN: That is a story for another day and
+another drink. What did you see? God, I don’t
+
+know what that looked like from the other end of
+things.
+
+MATT “Well, it all went belly up two years ago.
+You told us to scatter and vanish if it didn’t–
+
+“if things went wrong and wait until you returned.
+We buried your ass in the woods outside of the
+
+“hideout, I mean– ”
+
+TALIESIN: It may not have necessarily been my ass
+that you buried.
+
+MATT: “Apparently.”
+
+TALIESIN: I had a few tricks up my sleeve.
+
+MATT: (laughs) “Well, that spell-spitter
+lady from the capital. She said you were gone, she
+
+“took the book and left, and her contract said
+she was in the right and that we knew better than
+
+"to go toe to toe with her and her ilk.”
+
+TALIESIN: Obviously. Is everybody else all right?
+I know it has been a while. I had to stay
+
+underground.
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, Jurrel met with the axe of
+the law shortly after you left us.”
+
+TALIESIN: Damn shame.
+
+MATT: “Zoran, Ottis, and Tyffial have all
+scattered amongst the empire…”
+
+TALIESIN: Damn shame.
+
+MATT: “But, do you want me to find the others?”
+
+TALIESIN: No, actually I’m–
+
+MATT: “I know where Tyffial is!”
+
+TALIESIN: Where is Tyffial? I would rather
+obviously deliver everything in person. Honestly
+
+if I had known you were here I would’ve made
+arrangements. I didn’t want to shock you.
+
+MATT: “She’s up in Nogvurot. We can travel there,
+I can send a message and have her come down to us.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m working on something very delicate,
+I need everything to be very quiet.
+
+MATT: “Very well, Nonagon.”
+
+LIAM: I apologize, I’m not very observant. I
+missed your name.
+
+TALIESIN: Where are my manners?
+
+MATT: “My apologies. My name is Cree.”
+
+LIAM: Cree?
+
+MATT: “I am a member of the, well, the family
+around– how much do they know?”
+
+SAM: We know a lot!
+
+ASHLEY: We pretty much know all of it, so.
+
+SAM: We were told the name of the group that you
+traveled with, but I can’t remember it now.
+
+TALIESIN: They don’t know a lot, but they’re
+trustworthy. I’ve been putting my trust in them so far.
+
+ASHLEY: I do, I know all of it, so you can just
+tell me if you want to.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s actually fair.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check, both of you.
+
+SAM: Me?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m the worst. 13.
+
+TALIESIN: Technically advantage because it’s kind
+of the truth?
+
+MATT: Technically? All right, sure, I’ll give you
+that.
+
+ASHLEY: I got a ten, but technically I know– I’m
+rolling at advantage?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I think that’s advantage. I begged
+for advantage on that one.
+
+MATT: I’ll give you that.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, thank you.
+
+MATT: “Well, we were all part of the same order at
+one point, and we splintered off. Luci– Nonagon
+
+"had a different path in mind for us, so we went
+north to Shady Creek Run and we started the Tomb
+
+"Takers. It’s just so good to see you.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s good to be seen again. But again,
+it’s got to be very quiet right now. It’s been
+
+like three other names since the last time I saw
+you.
+
+MATT: “I should inform the others.”
+
+TALIESIN: Please, keep it quiet for now. That book
+caused more trouble than you think, and it all
+
+laid on my shoulders. I was trying to protect the
+rest of you from some of the worst elements of
+
+that and I don’t want any heat dropping on anybody
+who doesn’t know what’s coming yet.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+TALIESIN: But let me know where they are and I’ll
+get a hold of them. But don’t let them know why yet.
+
+MATT: The tabaxi curls in a little bit, leans over
+the table towards you with this big grin and says,
+
+“Does this mean that it worked?”
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) That’s, again, mixed company and
+public company.
+
+SAM: No, you can tell us about the ritual!
+Ritual?
+
+MATT: There’s a look of recognition.
+
+SAM: Yes, it was successful! Remind me what it was
+again? There’s been so many rituals lately!
+
+TALIESIN: Mixed results.
+
+LIAM: You were mentioning this group, the Tomb
+Takers. You had another name before. Were you a
+
+group and our friend joined you at some point?
+
+MATT: “Well, he led us away from the original
+order. They were a bit… clouded. We had a new path.”
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: And what was the name of the original
+order you were a part of?
+
+SAM: Not the Tomb Takers, that was the splinter
+group, right?
+
+LIAM: The one that came before.
+
+MATT: There’s a few looks now of– the euphoria is
+washing away from the face.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t have to tell them anything you
+don’t want to tell them, that’s all right.
+
+ASHLEY: Was he your new path?
+
+MATT: “He brought us onto a new path, yes.”
+
+LIAM: What was your unifying trait or pursuit?
+
+TALIESIN: Foolishness in thinking I knew what I
+was doing.
+
+SAM: That is not a good answer!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the answer you’re getting.
+
+TRAVIS: This is all well and good and kind of
+fucking boring. I couldn’t help but notice that
+
+surly-looking crew up there, who might that be?
+
+MATT: “Oh, these are all members of The
+Gentleman’s troupe, as am I.” At which point the
+
+tabaxi, Cree, turns back and looks, and you can
+see in the far back right corner of the chamber
+
+there is a long, dark mahogany well-carved table.
+There you see standing, arms crossed, a very
+
+muscular-looking goliath female with a very short
+leather strap top, shaved sides of the head in a
+
+tuft of a mohawk that curls down into a long
+ponytail that goes down the back, who’s glaring in
+
+your direction. Sitting beside this burly-looking
+goliath you see a high-backed chair with a red
+
+velvet matte. Sitting feet crossed up on the table
+in a nice, long deep-blue coat, leather-gloved
+
+hands, light teal skin, jet-black hair that’s
+long, just past the shoulders, a widow’s peak in
+
+the center, a bit of a dark goatee, male figure
+standing there, hands entwined and crossed,
+
+looking at you from across the way with a curious
+grin. “The Gentleman.”
+
+TALIESIN: You work for The Gentleman these days?
+
+MATT: “We had to find work, we didn’t know if you
+were ever coming back. We thought– so we had to
+
+"move on. We knew you’d eventually return, I just
+did not know how long and we had to make ends meet.”
+
+TALIESIN: How is it, working for The Gentleman?
+
+MATT: “Work is fine–” You hear a (clapping) from
+The Gentleman. “So! We have company. Strangers in
+
+"our midst.” He rights himself in the chair.
+“Please, come before me. Present yourselves! I
+
+"want to know who has graced us with their majestic
+presence. Come, come.” The finger goes up and you
+
+watch as everyone holding the rifles cock them and
+point down at you.
+
+SAM: Fjord, say something!
+
+MATT: “Come!”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m looking at our friend.
+
+MATT: Cree goes–
+
+TALIESIN: All right, I’ll saunter over with my
+drink and sit down at the table. Come on everyone,
+
+let’s do this.
+
+MATT: So you all go and sit? There’s a long bench
+there on the opposite side of this table where you
+
+can either stand or sit, since there’s quite a few
+of you.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll stand.
+
+MATT: Jester is like, “I don’t know what’s going
+on.” Sorry, Laura. I don’t know what the fuck
+
+Jester would do. Jester is the most random
+character.
+
+LIAM: She’s going Homer Simpson, running circles
+around.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s giving out leaflets.
+
+LIAM: I will also stand.
+
+MATT: As you guys approach you hear this (wheezing
+laughter). There’s the second balcony that was
+
+facing in the direction where you entered. As you
+look up you can see there’s another rifleman
+
+standing, and hanging by one arm off the side, you
+see this crazed-looking young gnome with this big
+
+mound of curly hair and this big chinstrap beard
+who’s just dangling going (wheezing laughter),
+
+looking over you all from a distance really
+creepily. The ogre’s there still, hand on the
+
+maul. “So. Introductions, please! I think I have
+an idea who you are, but I want to hear it from
+
+"your mouths. Please, tell me.”
+
+TRAVIS: Humbly, we are members of The Mighty
+Nein.
+
+MATT: “I knew it, I knew it! (laughs) Oh, this is
+a gracious day. Very well. Welcome to the real
+
+"Evening Nip. Pleasure to have you, each and every
+one of you. I’ve seen you around upstairs,
+
+"wandering and skulking a bit. I didn’t know you
+were part of this mighty troupe.”
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I hang out with them, but I actually
+like the drinks here a lot, so.
+
+MATT: “Much better down here. Speaking of which, a
+round please!” The bartender, looking a bit
+
+frightened on the side, starts filling tankards.
+“All right, so. What brings such esteemed
+
+"adventurers to my pocket of the underworld?”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we sought an audience, and to be
+frank, we thought we might find a little bit more
+
+of a warm reception than the one that we’re
+currently getting.
+
+MATT: “Oh! I’m sorry.” They pull the rifles off
+you. “Habit. Safety, you understand.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh of course, easily understood.
+
+MATT: “So. You have my audience.”
+
+TRAVIS: We mean to make ourselves of service,
+whether it be for the good of the city or other
+
+endeavors. We’re new here. We thought we would try
+to make as many introductions and have as many
+
+meetings happen as we could.
+
+MATT: “Interesting. I have one question, before we
+get too deep in this conversation. How did you
+
+"find your way in here?”
+
+MARISHA: I’m a bit of an enthusiast of the
+underworld. So I came across some information.
+
+MATT: “Go on.”
+
+MARISHA: Demedan got his order of bloodroot. It
+was really good.
+
+MATT: “Demedan gave you this information?”
+
+MARISHA: No, Demedan was clumsy with his
+information.
+
+MATT: “Equally dangerous, good to know. Remember
+that.” The goliath cracks knuckles. “All right,
+
+"so. Interesting. Now you know the way in. That’s
+dangerous, as we’ve just made acquaintances and
+
+"you now know the direct path into my domain. So to
+make this a comfortable conversation and possibly
+
+"an arrangement going forward that we can all agree
+upon, I have one small request.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I’m sure we’d be all ears.
+
+MATT: “Cree! Please.” The tabaxi who was in the
+back goes, “Yes, of course.” Steps over to the
+
+side of the bar and picks up a small leather
+satchel, puts it over her shoulder, walks up
+
+behind the table, opens it, and pulls out an
+alchemist rack of a bunch of corked vials, like
+
+small vials, opens it, and says, “I need, just–
+and bear with me, please– just a small bit of
+
+"your blood. The reasoning being, if I can’t trust
+you, and you can’t trust me, how am I to know you
+
+"aren’t going to turn me in immediately outside to
+the King’s Hall? And I need some means in case you
+
+"just abscond with this information: perhaps make
+an arrangement with me and then leave town. I need
+
+"to find you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, of course, and forgive my ignorance.
+This would be used to locate us? Is that what this
+
+is for?
+
+MATT: Oh, that is Cree’s speciality.
+
+TALIESIN: It is definitely Cree’s speciality.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, fuck it.
+
+MATT: As you pull your hand out, Cree does a flick
+of the finger, and you watch as the blood trails
+
+off on its own like a small serpent of mercury and
+just (flowing). For a second, even though it was a
+
+small wound, it’s bleeding quite a bit and you’re
+like, “Uh.” It makes you a little uncomfortable
+
+and then all of a sudden the blood flow stops. The
+vial is filled about an inch full, then she caps
+
+it. “Thank you so much.”
+
+TRAVIS: How did you do that?
+
+MATT: “It’s a gift that I learned the same place
+where the Nonagon’s gifts were found.”
+
+TALIESIN: Lucien, at the table, is fine.
+
+MATT: “Lucien.”
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+MATT: “Next.”
+
+TALIESIN: I trust you with this. Don’t get fancy.
+
+MATT: Same thing. Fills the next vial, a strange,
+almost an arc of crimson finds its way and fills a
+
+secondary tube. There’s like twelve tubes there,
+but she’ll fill as many as needed for this one.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughs) Don’t like it, do you?
+
+MARISHA: Can I borrow a tusk?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Goes ahead and acquires the blood from you.
+Jester goes, “Me too, me too!” Feeling left out in
+
+the moment, gives her blood as well.
+
+SAM: Caleb, are we doing this?
+
+MATT: “No harm will come to you, unless you bring
+harm to me. So this is just a precautionary
+
+"measure. I appreciate your trust.”
+
+TRAVIS: Three to go? One, two, three?
+
+MATT: With that, your blood is taken into a vial.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll follow suit.
+
+MATT: Your blood is also taken into a vial.
+
+SAM: (hisses)
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do! (spurting)
+
+ASHLEY: Fair enough. I take my finger and I run it
+across my blade as I stare at him.
+
+MATT: The blood is drawn into the vial, the final
+vial is capped, Cree closes the satchel, places it
+
+on the shoulder, and then bows and steps back,
+paying direct attention to The Gentleman and then
+
+out of the corner of her eye, towards you.
+“Fantastic, I really appreciate that.” You’re
+
+getting a closer look now, of The Gentleman. The
+teal skin tone– it’s interesting. It looks almost
+
+like he’s perpetually sweating. There’s moisture
+on the outskirts of his skin at all times. There’s
+
+the faint hint of, whether it be condensation from
+the air around or produced internally, there’s a
+
+general sense of dampness to the skin of this
+figure. “So an arrangement, you say. First off,
+
+"just because it’s fun for me, are you believers in
+luck?”
+
+TALIESIN: Not anymore.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, I’d say I am.
+
+MATT: “That destiny is looking out for you? I’ve
+seen enough in my time and have lived in spite of
+
+"it all because something wants me here. Would you
+consider yourselves lucky?”
+
+TRAVIS, SAM and TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: “Good. Then let’s gamble.”
+
+MARISHA: Then what?
+
+MATT: Then let’s gamble.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. (laughs)
+
+TRAVIS: Are you writing that down?
+
+SAM: Let’s gamble.
+
+MATT: “I want to know how lucky my investments
+are. Gambit of Ord? Who wishes to face me in this?
+
+"Who feels the luckiest of your band?”
+
+TRAVIS: Shit. Where’s the fucking luck of Jester?
+
+MARISHA: I know. She’s at home.
+
+SAM: I watched her play last time, I could do– I
+don’t– (stutters)
+
+TRAVIS: I could as well.
+
+SAM: Why don’t you do it? I’ll just drink– I need
+just a little loosener.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. I feel lucky.
+
+MATT: “All right. Great. One pass. 50 gold buy-in.
+If I win, you’re mine. If you win, then we can do business.”
+
+TRAVIS: Deal.
+
+MATT: “All right.” He goes and pulls, beneath the
+table, a satchel of gold. Pulls out a handful of
+
+gold and plops it on the table. You watch on the
+side as the creepy gnomish figure that was hanging
+
+from the balcony earlier leaps down, (creepy
+chuckling) comes up and he pulls out a set of
+
+cards and is shuffling them in his hand as he
+steps around the side. He’s now flanking the right
+
+side of The Gentleman, so you have the large
+goliath on one side, the small, creepy gnome on
+
+the other, shuffling the cards. Hands the deck to
+The Gentleman, does one final cut, sets it down.
+
+“So what’s your name?”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+MATT: “Fjord. Let us deal.” Did you put 50 gold on
+the table?
+
+TRAVIS: No. Now I do.
+
+TALIESIN: There was nothing fishy in the card
+shuffle, in the cut, was there?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh, get ‘em!
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s do it. 12.
+
+MATT: Seemed to be above board.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to keep an eye on the deal as
+well.
+
+MATT: Okay. The first cards are dealt out for the
+first round. This is Gambit of Ord. This is
+
+different from The Crick-Queen’s Call. This is a
+Marquesian card game. Roll a d8, but keep it
+
+hidden to yourself. All right. “So now, I’m going
+to go ahead and raise another 50 gold.” (clinking)
+
+Onto the table.
+
+TRAVIS: My goodness, this is getting expensive
+quite fast.
+
+MATT: “Well, we deal with quite a large amount of
+business.”
+
+TRAVIS: (yawning) 50 gold.
+
+MATT: So you put another 50 gold?
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll a d6, and keep
+that secret alongside that die. “Do you wish to raise?”
+
+TRAVIS: You first.
+
+MATT: “I raised first last time. I’m offering you
+the chance to raise if you’d like.”
+
+TRAVIS: Funny how that works. No, I’m good where I
+am.
+
+MATT: “Interesting. I’ll raise another 50 gold.”
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+TRAVIS: Sounds good. 50 it is.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll a d4. He’s holding his
+cards in his hand, looks across at you, looks all
+
+throughout the room. “Well, Fjord, looks like it’s
+time to call.”
+
+TRAVIS: What, we’re not going to bet again?
+
+(silence)
+
+MATT: Puts another 100 gold on the table.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s make it 150.
+
+MATT: (laughs) “Very well.”
+
+TRAVIS: (mutters) That’s all the money I have.
+
+SAM: Have we seen anything suspicious from the
+deals, or the–
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) Jester wants you to know that
+from home she is watching The Gentleman and making
+
+sure he is not cheating.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check for Jester, and you
+make an insight check as well, since you were both
+
+keeping a close eye on that.
+
+LIAM: Oh, she rolled really well. What’s her
+modifier, added to an 18?
+
+SAM: Plus four.
+
+LIAM: Oh, 22.
+
+MATT: 22? Actually, there has been no weirdness
+with the cards. This is a straight test of luck.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) Oh, this man has the Luck feat.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you don’t see anything, nothing that
+catches you off.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I rolled less than Jester.
+
+MATT: So, we’re now at a pot of 150 times two, 50
+times two, so 600 gold, I believe, right? 50, 50,
+
+50, and the 150.
+
+TRAVIS: (counting) So 500.
+
+SAM: Did you start with 50, though?
+
+MATT: We started with 50, and then we raised 50,
+and then raised 50, so that was 150. So it’s 600
+
+on the table.
+
+TRAVIS: I can do math.
+
+MATT: 300 from each of them. “All right.” He
+presents the dice that he had rolled, or the cards
+
+that he had found, which is a five, a four, and a
+one. A grand total of ten.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, come on, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: A seven, a five, and a three.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god.
+
+SAM: That’s the first thing we’ve ever won.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As soon as you reveal the cards there’s a
+(gasp). A gasp in the room and The Gentleman, his
+
+muscles tense for a second and he goes, (laughs)
+“Well-played and well earned! Take the coin, it’s yours.”
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you. Nice hand.
+
+MATT: “Good to know that we have luck on your side
+as well. That’s very important to me with people I
+
+"do business with. So (clears throat) you have some
+balls throwing down that change and going into a
+
+"game with me, I like that. So what can our many
+gifts and my associates present to you? What are
+
+"your strengths? What are your skills? I’ve heard
+you’ve done some deeds. I’ve heard you killed some
+
+"terrible creature in the sewers, is that
+correct?”
+
+SAM: We did. Yes. We fought and killed a giant
+spider of sorts.
+
+MATT: “Right, which helped tremendously because we
+use the sewers quite often. That had become an
+
+"issue with some of our transference in the
+subterranean sewers of the city. And
+
+"unfortunately, the underworks themselves have been
+a bit clogged as of late. So thank you for that.
+
+"And one of our compatriots–” and he points up to
+one of the balconies on the side, and you can see,
+
+behind the individual that had the rifle, you see
+Kara, the half-elf.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I was going to ask for her.
+
+MATT: Who’s stepping forward, ever so slightly.
+And says, “One of our compatriots has kept us up
+
+"to speed about your infiltrations. I have to say,
+I’m impressed.”
+
+LIAM: Ja, then you probably know we are not the
+best you’re going to find, but we are up and comers.
+
+MATT: “Not too bad.”
+
+TRAVIS: Very versatile I’d have to say though.
+Balanced.
+
+LIAM: Good skill set.
+
+TALIESIN: High profile, but low profile.
+
+MATT: “Well, we are a company that specializes in
+the completion of the tasks and trading of things.
+
+"Perhaps not the most legal. Things that are
+restricted by the empire. That means our skills
+
+"are best through speed, subterfuge, darkness. We
+don’t have the best, aside for muscle besides
+
+"from, well (laughs) I do keep Sorah by my side,
+just in case.”
+
+SAM: Is that the goliath?
+
+MATT: That is the goliath he refers to.
+
+SAM: Sorad?
+
+MATT: Sorah.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Que Sorah, Sorah.
+
+MARISHA: Wait the goliath or the ogre?
+
+MATT and TRAVIS: The goliath.
+
+MARISHA: The–
+
+LIAM: The mohawk lady.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: We’re very strong.
+
+MATT: “Very good.”
+
+SAM: As you can see, Yasha is very strong.
+
+MATT: “Well, you’ve caused enough chaos in the
+Tri-Spire. You brought down one of the more
+
+"corrupt, though strangely uncorruptible from our
+end, politicians we’ve seen. And from what I hear,
+
+"Lord Sutan is already in chains.” (chuckles)
+
+SAM: (quickly) We don’t know anything about that.
+We had nothing to do with it.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, I think–
+
+TALIESIN: She’s quick to toe the party line.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “That’s fine. We’ll see how long Sutan stays
+in there, he has his ways. Depending on how strong
+
+"a case you’ve left behind, and a little finagling
+on our end, if our partnership grows mutually
+
+"beneficial, perhaps we could push that over the
+edge for him, and keep him away for quite some
+
+"time. Now apparently I’ve also heard they’re still
+seeking the murderers of the High-Richter.
+
+"Particularly a purple-skinned tiefling who was
+spotted not far from the home that night, with
+
+"rather ostentatious clothing. As well as a
+wandering dark-skinned youth, a woman with
+
+"physical capability. So that doesn’t bode well for
+you, does it?”
+
+MARISHA: Sucks being in the wrong place at the
+wrong time.
+
+MATT: “Well, as seeing as how we’re friends
+now, I can say that I could probably make this
+
+"investigation go away.”
+
+MARISHA: Is this an investigation that you caused
+to begin with?
+
+MATT: (laughs) “No, this is an investigation that
+you caused.”
+
+MARISHA: Doing your bidding.
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+MARISHA: Through one of your associates.
+
+MATT: “My associate was making sure that the
+events would transpire in our favor. But
+
+"nevertheless, we were not the orchestrators of The
+Knights of Requital.”
+
+LIAM: Let’s assume this is not a gift you are
+offering, what is it that you are looking for in return?
+
+MATT: “Oh, well, many gifts come once we’ve
+established a partnership. We become friends now,
+
+"and I like friendship. That’s great; that’s fine.
+But I deal in trade mostly. So I would like a
+
+"favor in kind.” He leans forwards a bit, and you
+can see some of the condensation slowly dripping
+
+down the side of the face. Making a few spots on
+the table.
+
+SAM: I’ll offer him a napkin.
+
+MATT: As you hold a napkin out, the eyes catch you
+for a second. The head turns, confused for a second.
+
+TALIESIN: Just–
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Great thought, not now. Good thought.
+
+SAM: He seems like he needs–
+
+TALIESIN: (shushing)
+
+SAM: He’s schvitzing. I mean it’s not even humid
+in here. (whispering) He’s got a problem.
+
+MATT: “About a mile out of the underworks, beneath
+the city. Down the underground river pass that our
+
+"shipments to the Ounterloch and Berleben pass
+through, one of my men noticed a strange wall
+
+"uncovered by time. We sent a team of our best
+infiltrators to see what this was about. Within, a
+
+"purple light, and the promise of ancient spoils
+seemed to peek from within. Some sort of abandoned
+
+"research facility from ages past. Well my
+curiosity got the better of me. So we sent the
+
+"team inward to seek it out. But amongst these few
+gold-laden objects that enticed my men– they are
+
+"a superstitious lot– and upon being beset by
+series of phantom globes they fled and collapsed
+
+"the entrance behind them.” You see him glare past
+you and hear the shifting of a few pieces of armor
+
+as three individuals avert their gaze. (sighs)
+“So those fucks have failed. I would like you to
+
+"return to that site for me. Find a way in. Inquire
+within. Seek and seeing as how you are so good at
+
+"eliminating monstrous beasts, clearing the space
+of any dangers, hostile creatures. Return with any
+
+"of your findings. Do this for me and I will see
+that the scent is thrown off you permanently. I’ll
+
+"even let you keep some of the spoils.”
+
+TRAVIS: This is most intriguing. I hope we would
+be able to interview your previous compatriots.
+
+We’d like to know what they saw before, what we
+might expect.
+
+MATT: “Of course. By all means. Do we have a
+deal?”
+
+TRAVIS: To clear our name here in Zadash?
+
+SAM: How do we know that you can clear our name?
+We’ve proven to you that we’re lucky. You know our
+
+reputation. We don’t know anything about you.
+
+MATT: “Let’s say I’ve lived and worked a solid 15
+years orchestrating the seedy underbelly of this
+
+"entire city. I’ve never been caught, I’ve never
+been arrested, and I thrive on a pile of gold and
+
+"riches you can only begin to imagine.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m beginning to imagine it right now,
+actually.
+
+MATT: “Good.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s very nice.
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+MARISHA: I bet he edubates on that pile of gold.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: That is certainly one to grow on.
+
+LIAM: Not good enough. That’s a twelve.
+
+MATT: I mean, he’s a shifty individual being by
+nature. But it’s hard to get a sense of whether or
+
+not he would be trying to lie.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. He’s sweating, he must be nervous.
+
+SAM: If I may, we passed a test for you. Would you
+pass one for us?
+
+MATT: (laughs) “Little one, (laughs) you intrigue
+me. Young green-skin, so overtly walking amongst
+
+"the nobles above, and yet you’ve kept your throat.
+That says a lot about you. Yes, please tell me,
+
+"what would this trial be, you would ask of The
+Gentleman?”
+
+SAM: May I have three of those vials? Just the
+empty ones.
+
+MATT: “Cree.” Fumbles in the pouch and brings out
+three of the empty glass vials, and hands them
+
+over to you.
+
+SAM: If I were to fill two of these vials with
+ordinary alcohol and one with something else,
+
+would you be able to tell which is which? With
+your discerning eye and your years of experience?
+
+MATT: “Hmm. Certainly, I feel confident.”
+
+MARISHA: Take the Pepsi challenge.
+
+SAM: I’ll take out my shitty flask, as my good one
+is gone. Fill two vials with alcohol and then take
+
+out my vial of acid and pour it into the third.
+Are they reasonably the same colorish?
+
+MATT: Reasonably. I’d say the alcohol is a bit
+more brackish. The acid itself is a little more
+
+translucent, but you could possibly add a little
+bit of alcohol to it.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll take a little splash of
+alcohol and some darker stuff and mix it around.
+
+MATT: You’re an alchemist, you’ve dealt with
+varying chemicals. So I’d say, given a moment, you
+
+could go ahead and match it fairly close, sure.
+
+SAM: All right, this one is the acid; these two
+are booze. And now I will try to (rapid movement)–
+
+TALIESIN: Doesn’t actually switch hands, you just
+do this a lot.
+
+LIAM: Never mess with a goblin when death is on
+the line!
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check versus his
+perception.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re going to kill The Gentleman.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15 total?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right, you present the vials.
+
+SAM: If you die, I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: (chuckles) “This one is alcohol. This one is
+alcohol. This one is acid.” And takes the acid
+
+from your grasp and uncorks it and drinks it.
+
+SAM: Ooh shit, that’s baller!
+
+MATT: So roll the damage for your acid.
+
+MARISHA: Some Inigo Montoya shit.
+
+SAM: I don’t know what to roll. It’s 1d6 or
+something. What do I– I got to look.
+
+MATT: It should be on your break down of your–
+
+SAM: It’s here. Acid vial.
+
+ASHLEY: He’s awesome.
+
+MATT: I have it here actually.
+
+SAM: 2d6.
+
+MATT: So yeah, roll 2d6.
+
+TALIESIN: That is so baller. Oh my god.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. All right, so he (slight cough)
+(grunts) downs it, but it doesn’t seem to have as
+
+much of an effect on him. It looks like it hurt,
+and he takes it. The muscles tense a bit, the face
+
+twitches as it goes down and it burns. But then he
+takes the vial and corks it again, rolls it across
+
+the table. (coughs) “Does that satisfy your
+inquiry?”
+
+SAM: (gulp) (gulp) Yep, yeah, that’s good. That
+was impressive. I mean, you pass the test, sir.
+
+MATT: (chuckles) “Good, good. I like it.”
+
+TALIESIN: I will say the only thing that I can
+think of that I would want, not even necessarily
+
+addend to this contract, if we are going to do
+this to you; I’m looking to stay on the down low
+
+in general. If we can agree, even my presence in
+this city necessarily is, as far as it’s
+
+concerned, is none of anybody’s concern outside
+this bar. I would be forever grateful.
+
+MATT: “We deal well in secrecy, my friend.”
+
+TALIESIN: I figured you would.
+
+MATT: “Lucien, was it?”
+
+TALIESIN: Sometimes.
+
+MATT: (chuckles) “Very well.”
+
+TRAVIS: Sir, I couldn’t help but hear that this is
+about a mile outside of the city. Is that correct?
+
+MATT: “Correct.”
+
+TRAVIS: Are you operating on any sort of a
+timeline? Might we have a little bit of lenience
+
+with how quickly we get this dealt with?
+
+MATT: “The sooner the better, because we can begin
+opening that line. We’ve now two weeks and three
+
+"shipments lost.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve just had a thought, actually, if you
+could help us at the same time, we’re trying to
+
+get a friend of ours out of the city. And (coughs)
+recent events seem to have clogged up most entries
+
+and exits. We have a friend, Horris, that needs to
+find his way to a safe spot.
+
+MARISHA: Kara knows him, real well.
+
+MATT: “Right, this would be Dolan’s partner,
+yes?”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed.
+
+MATT: “Hmm.”
+
+TRAVIS: Discretion is appreciated.
+
+MATT: “We specialize in discretion and specialize
+in smuggling. And specialize in people.”
+
+TRAVIS: Figured you might.
+
+MATT: “So you do this deed, we’ll consider it part
+of your gift.”
+
+TRAVIS: Outstanding. I think we have a deal, do we
+not?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I find all of this very agreeable.
+
+MATT: “Good, very good, quiet one. Now we have
+access to the tunnels. Of course we’ll have to
+
+"blindfold you to bring you through the underworks
+to the tunnel that leads to this underground
+
+"river, when you decide to leave. Just because
+there’s a lot of secrets down here, and we’re
+
+"still building our trust. But come back in
+whenever you’re ready. We’ll be happy to escort
+
+"you and send you on your way.”
+
+TRAVIS: Outstanding.
+
+ASHLEY: How long do you keep our blood for?
+
+MATT: “Oh, as long as we have our arrangements.”
+
+ASHLEY: But we get it back when we’re done? Or we
+decide not to work with you anymore?
+
+MATT: “If you’ve proven yourself trustworthy
+enough, in the long term, perhaps. But understand
+
+"that this is just a precaution. Who’s to know?
+Perhaps things go sour in a few months. I want to
+
+"make sure you don’t double cross me and send the
+guard down.”
+
+MARISHA: Does it look like he’s speaking from
+experience? He’s a little twitchy.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+MARISHA: (grumbling) 14.
+
+MATT: It’s more that he’s lived this long by being
+careful. And when a bunch of strangers find this
+
+secret pass into his lair, he wants to be damn
+well sure that he knows where to find you if need be.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Fair enough.
+
+TALIESIN: Remember, the name Lucien doesn’t leave
+this bar. Outside, I never want to hear it uttered.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know who any of you are outside
+this bar.”
+
+TALIESIN: Brilliant.
+
+MATT: “Don’t worry. Anyway,” and he throws his
+feet back up on the table . “Drinks are on me,
+
+"until you make your leave.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fantastic! Nott, pace yourself now, you
+hear?
+
+SAM: (growling) (nervous humming)
+
+TALIESIN: Quality, not quantity.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that goliath wielding any sort of
+visible weapon?
+
+MATT: At the moment, it does not appear there’s a
+weapon immediately on the goliath, but as you look
+
+behind, in the corner right behind the chair where
+The Gentleman sits, there looks to be one
+
+hefty-ass maul. A giant chunk of solid metal with
+a long handle on it that is resting against the stone.
+
+TRAVIS: Ogre and the goliath mauls each. Fuck.
+
+MATT: They like to break things.
+
+MARISHA: Who were the two guys that said that they
+passed out trying to get away from the creepy,
+
+ancient facility?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, they were armored behind us?
+
+MATT: Yeah, there’s three guys. There’s the bar in
+the chamber. Next to that, to the right of the
+
+actual bar, there’s a doorway that opens up into a
+storeroom. It’s underneath the top balcony.
+
+Underneath the balcony, right next to where the
+ogre is posting watch in the center of the tavern,
+
+the three of them are sitting off to the side,
+looking uncomfortable. They were sitting earlier,
+
+and since all of this happened they stood to
+attention and haven’t found a comfortable moment
+
+to sit down.
+
+MARISHA: Just shifty, rogue-y underbelly types?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You look over and you see two of them
+appear to be human. Relatively young, probably mid
+
+to late 20s. Scruffy-looking. One of them has a
+darker, fro-y hair that’s unkempt and covering
+
+part of his face. The other one has very short
+cut hair, dark complexion, brown red. They’re
+
+both wearing darker leathers and cloaks that are
+thrown over one shoulder. They’re holding tankards
+
+in their hand and they’re both talking amongst
+each other while keeping an eye on you.
+
+TRAVIS: That group looks like your type. Feel like
+making friends?
+
+MARISHA: My favorite pastime.
+
+MATT: The third one appears to be a halfling
+female who is sitting in a corner, quietly
+
+sipping out of the tankard and looking nervously
+around.
+
+MARISHA: Want to accompany me?
+
+TRAVIS: I would love to.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go.
+
+MATT: Just the two of you approaching?
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Anyone else wants to join.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking a long look at Cree and I
+want to see if I see any of the things that I
+
+expect to see.
+
+TRAVIS: What do you expect to see there, T?
+
+SAM: You know. Dander.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to see if there’s any markings
+or anything otherwise that I would expect to see.
+
+MATT: Oh. Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+SAM: Why are you locking your iPad between every
+move?
+
+TALIESIN: Because it’s better that way. Perception
+check. Wow, that’s a terrible roll. That’s a five.
+
+MATT: A fur-covered tabaxi, it’s hard to make any
+details out beyond the fur, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. That’s fair.
+
+MATT: The two of you approach the corner. Kara is
+watching you as you step past, and steps back on
+
+the balcony, out of sight.
+
+MARISHA: I give her a little (clicks tongue)
+when I walk by.
+
+MATT: She goes–
+
+MARISHA: Deal with that later.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to say the same thing.
+
+MATT: As you approach the two gentlemen and the
+female halfling, they just watch you. They don’t
+
+engage you verbally at all, they just keep an
+eye.
+
+MARISHA: I grab one of the half-drinken beers from
+someone else’s table and set it down and be like,
+
+here you go. I got this for you.
+
+LIAM: That was mine.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: He takes it. The guy with the larger curly
+hair takes it and pours it into his own and sets
+
+it back down. “Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Heard you guys got all heebie jeebie and
+passed out in your last little mission.
+
+MATT: “Well–” and the other guy elbows him and
+he’s like, (whispering) “Shut up!”
+
+MARISHA: No, that’s cool! We’re here to clean up
+y'all’s shit.
+
+MATT: “Look, we signed up for this to make quick
+money. We’re good at moving quickly. We’re good at
+
+"seeing what’s worthwhile. We’re good at picking
+things out. We’re not good at dealing with spooky
+
+"fucking undead ghost things, okay? We went in, we
+went through this path. We found a crack in the
+
+"wall. We kicked it down. We went inside. There was
+a staircase. Went up and down. Went downstairs, it
+
+"seemed empty. It was confusing. We didn’t see
+anything of interest. Went upstairs the
+
+"staircase– the little spiral staircase– and
+there was a much larger chamber. We started
+
+"looking around for anything worthwhile. It looked
+like it got picked clean long ago. Dust
+
+"everywhere. The more we began to look, there was
+this cold temperature in the room, and eventually
+
+"these little lights began to come out of the wall.
+At first, we were curious by them. One of them got
+
+"really close to Therad over there. He suddenly
+shocked in a serious jolt.” And you see him on the
+
+back, looking a bit spooked, recalling the story.
+He goes, “We knew then, these– whatever the fuck these
+
+"things were– they weren’t friends of ours. So we got
+our shit and we ran. We had a small explosive, so
+
+"we threw it behind us to collapse the wall, hoping
+that at least it would slow them down. We
+
+"realized, in hindsight, that it was pretty stupid
+because, if they were spectral enough to come out
+
+"of the walls, they still could have followed us.
+We got up the river from there. We got our boats
+
+"and made our way back.”
+
+TRAVIS: Let me get this straight. A bunch of
+fucking floating lights came out of the wall, gave
+
+your boy a little static shock, and you ran?
+
+MATT: They both look at each other and look at the
+halfling. The halfling’s like, “I wasn’t going to
+
+"stay behind!”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Well, they’re calling in the big
+leaguers now, so we’ll take it from here. Your way
+
+up and down those stairs you mentioned, you get
+tripped up along the way, or was it just easy sailing?
+
+MARISHA: Any traps?
+
+MATT: “We didn’t go into the bottom chamber. That
+looked ominous enough. We stuck to the top one.”
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: What about it was ominous?
+
+MATT: “It’s just a big octagonal dome chamber.
+Had this faint purple-ish glow on the inside– ”
+
+MARISHA: Are you afraid of geometry? I don’t–
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Scared of school.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Old terrors.
+
+MATT: “Look, you can come by and sass me all you
+fucking want. I’ve been here for two years. You
+
+"newcomers walk in here and think you’re all tough
+shit! You think it’s so great? Go! Go in there!
+
+"Come back!”
+
+SAM: Trying to throw it in the garbage, but it hit
+your balloon.
+
+MARISHA: I saw the whole–
+
+LIAM: Still a game.
+
+MATT: “You think you’re tough shit? You go take
+care of it.”
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate your passion. I don’t think
+you’re in great favor in this room, at the moment.
+
+You see that really tall woman over there with
+that big greatsword on her back? She doesn’t
+
+appreciate when people talk to us like that.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I see him point at me?
+
+LIAM: Flex.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: 13?
+
+TRAVIS: No, 15. Sorry.
+
+MATT: 15. He’s looking over at you. You can see
+him swallowing hard.
+
+ASHLEY: I put my hand on my hilt and I pull it out
+a little bit.
+
+MATT: “Hey, no, I understand that. That’s great.
+Looks like you guys are much more well-equipped
+
+"for this shit than we are. Look, I’m not saying
+we���re better than you. We’re better at some
+
+"things. You’re better at others. That’s why
+they’re sending you in, because we can’t fight
+
+"fucking ghosts. You go for it!”
+
+MARISHA: We’re just giving you a hard time, man.
+It’s fun. The whole time this was happening, I was
+
+rubbing my feet against the ground, building
+up a static shock.
+
+MATT: It’s stone, but sure.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Okay, rubbing against Fjord. Like this.
+
+TRAVIS: My shag armor.
+
+MARISHA: Just waiting for it. All right, thank you
+so much, man.
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+MARISHA: All right, good. (laughter) Sorry, can’t
+help it.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you three have a name?
+
+LIAM: The Mighty Drei.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t be ashamed if you don’t.
+
+MATT: The guy who’s talking to you says, “That’s
+Hannah there. I’m Louis.” He pauses for a moment,
+
+shakes your hand. “Now go get this thing.”
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t worry. We’ll clean it up for you.
+Enjoy your drinks. Going to join the others.
+
+TALIESIN: Yasha. Do I deal with this or do I not
+deal with this?
+
+ASHLEY: I think you should deal with this.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t want to deal with this.
+
+ASHLEY: Does any of this sound familiar to you
+from the past?
+
+TALIESIN: I hate this. I’m going to stand up, and
+walk over to Cree.
+
+MATT: Okay. Cree is still standing by the bar with
+the satchel on. As you stand up and start
+
+approaching, she smiles.
+
+TALIESIN: A lifetime ago.
+
+MATT: “Indeed. I can tell you it’s so good to see
+you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I have a weird question, and I apologize
+for it. The spell I used to get away, it– I
+
+wasn’t there for as long as you thought I was. I
+missed how everything ended in the end. I hate to
+
+ask, but I was long gone before anything really
+started to go down. How did everything end? Can
+
+you just– I’ll explain why in a moment.
+
+MATT: “Well, you had acquired the tome with the
+ritual spell that you required to attempt to reach
+
+"the city. That lady– I don’t remember her name.
+The spell slinger from the capital. She came and
+
+"oversaw and performed the ritual for you. I don’t
+trust those folk, but I trust you, and if you
+
+"trusted, than that was enough for me. You gave us
+a speech. We had a fine meal. We all got ready
+
+"there in the forest.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s where I lost you, then.
+
+MATT: “She said it would be hard for us to tell
+whether or not it worked at first, but we went and
+
+"checked, and you were not breathing. For a good
+hour, you were not breathing and you had gone
+
+"cold. We knew then that– that we had lost you. We
+checked, and I’m very attuned to vitals, as you
+
+"know. There was no heartbeat. So we waited longer.
+The sun rose, and nothing. So, as you told us, if
+
+"anything were to go wrong, we had to get rid of
+any sign, any trace. So, not far from the Tomb
+
+"Taker hideout, we buried you and we went our
+separate ways. She took the tome, the mage woman,
+
+"it was part of the arrangement you had with her.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to have to find her again at
+some point. The reason I’ve stayed quiet– It was
+
+never going to work. Somebody was working against
+me. I don’t know who, but I can’t trust anyone. I
+
+saw how you reacted to seeing me and it was– I’m
+willing to believe it wasn’t you who turned. But
+
+it could have been her, but it could have been one
+of us. That’s why I need you to keep it quiet. Please.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check. You’re starting to
+get in deep into this now.
+
+TRAVIS: Deception check?
+
+TALIESIN: 13.
+
+SAM: Can I wander over and see if I can overhear
+anything?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+MATT: You start wandering over, but there’s too
+much noise and general din in the chamber around
+
+you to make anything out.
+
+TALIESIN: There will come a moment when I can tell
+you everything, but… It’s so complicated. Please
+
+just keep it quiet for now.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+TALIESIN: Until I know that everyone’s going to
+react the way that you did to seeing me.
+
+MATT: “Right, of course, Lucien.”
+
+TALIESIN: I will tell you everything eventually.
+
+MATT: “Please, please do.”
+
+TALIESIN: I give a hug.
+
+MATT: There’s a moment pause, and then Cree takes
+in the hug too.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s been too long.
+
+MATT: There’s a faint purr in the ear, and then
+you hear the voice whisper, “It’s good to see you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m sorry for everything. And I give the
+pat, and head back to the table.
+
+MATT: “Me too.” As you walk away.
+
+LIAM: While that conversation happens. Can I speak
+to you? Just for a second?
+
+TRAVIS: Of course.
+
+LIAM: That was a princely sum you just wagered
+with there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Good thing I won, huh?
+
+LIAM: Yes, it is. That wouldn’t have, by any
+chance, have been recompense for everything we did
+
+the other night? Or are you rolling in it?
+
+TRAVIS: Am I rolling in it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m wondering if you just wagered
+the party’s funds. On a very calculated risk.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. No, I was actually only gambling my
+funds.
+
+LIAM: So you come with funds on you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Do you know, I would be all right if you
+had? I am a fan of calculated risks.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. But it was just, you know– You’re
+flush. I understand.
+
+TRAVIS: At the moment.
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: 17.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m telling the truth. I hadn’t even divvied
+up that amount from Dolan and everybody else.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Seems forthright.
+
+LIAM: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: Good to know. Calculated risks. I’ll keep
+that in mind. I thought you liked to play things
+
+close to the chest.
+
+LIAM: If the reward is good and it’s not stupid.
+
+TRAVIS: Sometimes you got to get a little stupid,
+though.
+
+LIAM: Maybe. Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk over with a new round
+of drinks. Here, drink this. I’m told they’re stupid. Ugh.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, you have– Sorry, Lucien.
+
+TRAVIS: No, that’s not it either.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, Non–Nongatek.
+
+TALIESIN: Lucien for the moment. We’ll talk about
+it later.
+
+ASHLEY: Would you like us to call you Lucien or do
+you want us to call you Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: In here, we’re Lucien.
+
+LIAM: How many names are there? Is it over ten or
+under?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s have that conversation somewhere
+else. I don’t know who’s listening here.
+
+MARISHA: She seemed real into you, but not in an
+into you like “I want to tap that” kind of into
+
+you, but in an “I’ve watched you walk on water”
+type of into you.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that was a weird amount of into
+you, wasn’t it?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you change that alcohol into wine?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to cut my finger a bit and
+bleed into it.
+
+LIAM: With one of your long fingernails?
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit. You know, to a dumbass, that
+actually is convincing.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s alcohol one way or the other. I’ll
+fucking drink.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it wine?
+
+MATT: No, it’s bloody water. It’s water with a
+hint of iron aftertaste.
+
+TALIESIN: Worth a try.
+
+LIAM: Write what you know, Taliesin.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly– Excuse me, Lucien.
+
+MARISHA: Nantucket.
+
+TRAVIS: How many others around here might we
+expect to have that same reaction towards you?
+
+TALIESIN: We will have this conversation outside
+this bar.
+
+MARISHA: This is basically Taliesin at Ren Faire.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Lord Taliesin!
+
+LIAM: Taliesin, there’s tabaxis coming out of every
+stall. What the hell, man?
+
+TALIESIN: Lucien’s not going to answer any
+questions. Molly will answer every question you
+
+have later.
+
+SAM: If you’re not going to answer any questions,
+can we please direct some to Yasha over here?
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you for coming back, I’ve missed
+you.
+
+SAM: Where were you? Where’d you go? Why did you
+leave?
+
+ASHLEY: Sometimes I have things to do, I barely
+know you guys, so sorry if I leave!
+
+TALIESIN: Why do you need to know so many things?
+
+TRAVIS: You’re not afraid of inclement weather or
+anything, are you? It’d been real fair, that
+
+storm rolled in, and poof, you were fucking gone.
+
+SAM: She left us before we were ambushed in
+Alfield, and when she left us this time, we almost
+
+died in this plot to overthrow the empire, or
+whatever it was with Crick soldiers. Maybe it’s
+
+related!
+
+ASHLEY: Pretty shit luck for you, then. That has
+nothing to do with me.
+
+MARISHA: I respect a woman who can handle her
+business on her own personal time.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you very much, Beau. Thank you.
+Sometimes I need to leave. Plus, I barely know you guys.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re not used to you yet.
+
+LIAM: That is true. Do you think you will be able
+to travel with us for a little while, perhaps?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, get to know us?
+
+TALIESIN: I could use a hand for a bit.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll see.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d owe you one.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you handle what you needed to handle?
+
+ASHLEY: I think I did. I think I’m looking for
+answers for something, and I don’t know if I
+
+received any more, but I’m still looking.
+
+SAM: If you told us what it was, we could help
+you.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know if you can.
+
+LIAM: No pressure, at all, but it is nice to have
+some muscle around.
+
+SAM: Lots of pressure! Maximum amount of
+pressure!
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you, Nott. I’ll stick around and
+offer my strength as much as I can.
+
+LIAM: She is just joshing you.
+
+SAM: I am not!
+
+TALIESIN: She is definitely not joshing.
+
+TRAVIS: I make sure Nott’s drink is full all the
+time.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Can I look around this unsavory place?
+There are no faces that I recognize, right?
+
+MATT: Glancing around, no. Other than Kara, who
+you had spoken with previously, nobody else
+
+catches your attention.
+
+MARISHA: What is she doing right now? She still
+watching us?
+
+MATT: No, she’s not watching you. She’s receded
+into the top balcony into a chamber behind.
+
+SAM: It seemed like the Gentleman– who’s very
+impressive, by the way– knows a lot about stuff,
+
+including the fact that we were involved in a plot
+to frame the Sutan fellow.
+
+MARISHA: He knows Kara pretty well.
+
+SAM: Do you think he would know if the Xhorhas
+invasion at the same time as our little plan was a
+
+bigger conspiracy? Were we set up?
+
+TALIESIN: Why would we be set up?
+
+SAM: I don’t know, but it seems coinky-dinky that
+we were there on a night when towers were
+
+exploding.
+
+MARISHA: I think we should talk to Kara. I’ve been
+playing hard to get, waiting to see if she mingles
+
+around to us.
+
+SAM: You’re so coy.
+
+TRAVIS: I think Kara’s the way to go. We start
+asking him questions about something that big,
+
+maybe he won’t like us poking our nose around.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll check, but shit happens, and
+you’ve got to be doing something when shit
+
+happens. We just happened to be doing something.
+
+TRAVIS: When shit happened.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s hardly a coincidence.
+
+ASHLEY: You guys are going to Xhorhas?
+
+TRAVIS: No. There was a bit of a beatdown the
+other night in the Tri-Spire. One of the towers
+
+was attacked.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah. When did you get in town?
+
+ASHLEY: I saw that.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: You were here?
+
+ASHLEY: I was here. I’ve been here the whole
+time.
+
+MARISHA: What were you up to?
+
+ASHLEY: I was trying to figure some shit out.
+
+SAM: What was it?!
+
+TALIESIN: What we commonly referred to in the
+circus as “Yasha-ing.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, Yasha-ing.
+
+ASHLEY: I like to get away from things sometimes.
+
+LIAM: We have been getting our hands dirty, a
+little bit. Are you sure you want to get your
+
+hands dirty with us?
+
+ASHLEY: That’s all I’d like to do.
+
+LIAM: That’s direct.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a sight to behold.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to go talk to Kara before we get
+out of here?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, what was the Xhorhas bit?
+
+SAM: Oh, Xhorhas assassins tried to steal a box of
+some sort that was a weapon of mass destruction or
+
+a portal to another dimension or some sort of
+fount of energy that powers their race, we have no
+
+idea, but they stole it, we encountered them in
+the sewers, we did not kill the Xhorhas assassin,
+
+but he was killed shortly thereafter and we stole
+his magical dodecahedron.
+
+TALIESIN: You said that in this bar.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) Technically we stole it from the
+crownsguard because he took it away, so we stole
+
+it later.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s not say anything in here that we
+wouldn’t want to be circulated.
+
+SAM: All you need to know is the people from
+Xhorhas are dead now. Do you know people from
+
+Xhorhas?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m from Xhorhas.
+
+MARISHA: What?!
+
+SAM: Who are you?
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, is that a beer?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: Probably not where they were from.
+
+SAM: You’re a Cr– Can I say Crick? Is that okay?
+Do I have to be a Crick to say it?
+
+TALIESIN: She’s not a Crick.
+
+LIAM: Depends on who you’re talking to.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think I’m where they’re from. I’m
+more southern parts of Xhorhas.
+
+SAM: You’re from that part of the world?
+
+ASHLEY: No, I don’t know exactly where they were
+from. I don’t know who they are, I don’t know
+
+anything about them.
+
+TRAVIS: They came in trying to steal this Beacon,
+this glowing beacon, which we still have, but they
+
+were mighty upset about it.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: How long have you been in the Empire?
+
+ASHLEY: Make sure that’s correct, actually.
+
+MATT: That is correct.
+
+SAM: You don’t know if you were born there or grew
+up there?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+LIAM: How long have you been here in the Empire?
+
+ASHLEY: For about– I don’t know, when did I meet
+you?
+
+TALIESIN: God, was it a year and a half ago?
+
+ASHLEY: Year and a half.
+
+TALIESIN: Give or take. How many people are
+listening in on this clearly right now?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: I’m doing a scan, see if there’s any
+wandering eyes.
+
+TALIESIN: 14. Actually, no, 17, sorry.
+
+MATT: 17. As is the nature of a seedy underbelly,
+there are a lot of individuals who are very
+
+interested in the newcomers that waltzed in, made
+a deal with their boss, and have sat and had a
+
+drink and are talking all sorts of business. There
+are a number of folks that are slowly creeping in.
+
+TALIESIN: Can we please stop talking in here?
+
+LIAM: What do you mean, people are listening to
+heavy metal GWAR babe, purple guy, and little
+
+green girl in a doll mask?
+
+TALIESIN: They are serving us free drinks, of
+course they’re listening to everything we say.
+
+Let’s retire for the evening.
+
+SAM: Don’t we need to talk to Kara?
+
+TALIESIN: We can come back and do this tomorrow.
+
+SAM: No! She’s right here today!
+
+TALIESIN: You talk to Kara, then, but no more
+whatever this is.
+
+TRAVIS: Why, Lucien? You afraid the Myriad will
+hear? What’s his reaction?
+
+MARISHA: He definitely had a thing!
+
+TALIESIN: I am genuinely a little drunk, and
+didn’t remember who the Myriad were.
+
+TRAVIS: Do I believe him?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit. 11.
+
+TALIESIN: What am I doing, deception? Ten. So I
+have to tell the truth? I have no idea, I’d
+
+literally forgotten because I’m a little drunk and
+I’m really preoccupied right now.
+
+MATT: You don’t have to roll deception if you’re
+not lying.
+
+TALIESIN: I know, I was just doing it to fuck with
+them.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to have Frumpkin jump into Nott’s
+lap and do the (gnawing) on her fingers to keep
+
+her occupied.
+
+SAM: Ah! I’ll eat you!
+
+TALIESIN: (angry meowing)
+
+MARISHA: We go talk to Kara.
+
+SAM: Do you know Lucien, too?
+
+MATT: You go through a door, and there is a
+switchback stairway that leads to the upper
+
+balcony area, and as you head up there, it looks
+like there’s a weapon rack which has a bunch of
+
+weapons set up. Kara’s currently sitting on the
+edge of a bench and is sharpening the blades,
+
+small daggers and stuff, and looks back. “Oh!
+Hello.” Sets it aside. “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t
+
+"mean to deceive anyone, but that’s my business.”
+
+MARISHA: So you were deceiving us.
+
+MATT: “I was keeping some things close to my
+chest, like I’m sure you do.”
+
+TRAVIS: What’s that saying? Be careful of the toes
+you step on, they might belong to the ass you got
+
+to kiss later?
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good one. Have to remember that
+one.
+
+MATT: “Look, I deceived no one, outside of what
+you needed to know. We got our business done. I’ve
+
+"done nothing wrong.”
+
+MARISHA: How much of this was orchestrated from
+the beginning? Were we a distraction for the
+
+bigger picture?
+
+MATT: “What do you mean?”
+
+TRAVIS: The attack on the tower.
+
+MATT: “Oh, the Crick attack on the tower? No, had
+nothing to do with us. We’re not going to work
+
+"with those savage beasts.”
+
+MARISHA: Insight check.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: I was looking at you.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Bring it to me!
+
+TRAVIS: Still need a whisper corner.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Ashley, Ashley’s back, Ashley’s
+back in the game, she’s back in the game and she’s
+
+never going back and Blindspot is no more. Well,
+maybe it is, we’re just not sure, we’re waiting to
+
+find out.
+
+ASHLEY: (singing) We’re waiting to find out, but
+I’ll be here for a minute now. Back to the game.
+
+MATT: “That wasn’t planned by anyone. If anything,
+it might have saved our asses, because it made
+
+"what you did small potatoes by comparison. I’m
+thankful it happened, but look, those things
+
+"continue to attack us from the eastern border, and
+from what little information’s coming through,
+
+"it’s getting worse with each passing week, so the
+last thing I want to do is let any more of them
+
+"into our backyard.”
+
+MARISHA: All right. You won’t want to frame them
+in any type of larger scheme, considering it seems
+
+like you’re quite irritated with them?
+
+MATT: “Look, I know my limits. I’m not some
+mastermind. I want to make some coin, I want to
+
+"work with one of my skill sets, make the boss
+happy. I stay mainly within the city. I don’t want
+
+"to deal with any bigger stuff than that. I’m just
+a girl.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to ask you a question you’re
+probably not going to give me the truth to. Is your
+
+relationship with the Gentleman one of a debt or
+one of convenience?
+
+MATT: “It’s one of convenience. Keeping it short
+for you, it sure beats pickpocketing in the
+
+"streets and being beaten when I’m caught.”
+
+TRAVIS: I hear that.
+
+MARISHA: Interesting. How long have you been
+working for the Gentleman?
+
+MATT: “About eight years.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s a long time.
+
+MATT: “I worked my way up.”
+
+MARISHA: Does he feel the same about the
+Xhorhasian as you do?
+
+MATT: “As far as I know, yeah. It’s not good for
+business.”
+
+MARISHA: You know, it’s not as difficult to rally
+a society of people against another. It’s not too
+
+hard to start a war if you really want to.
+
+MATT: “That’s true, but– I don’t know his whole
+plan, per se, but business works well when things
+
+"are predictable. Right? And when there’s war
+involved, things get real unpredictable. Emotions
+
+"are high. The amount of armed guard and military
+gets high. We’re forced to skulk in the shadows
+
+"until it blows over. Last thing we want is for all
+this to get any crazier then.”
+
+TRAVIS: I only have one other thing. I was taken
+by Dolan’s passionate message.
+
+MATT: “Dolan’s a good man. He’s not caught up in
+all this. Don’t try and mix us up in that, right.
+
+"He doesn’t deserve it.”
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Is some of the business that we
+can expect going to go against the fair people of
+
+this city?
+
+MATT: “Generally, no. Most of the folks that work
+with the Gentleman and that we work for are
+
+"well-paying because they’re well-off. Some of them
+aren’t the most moral, either. We don’t do
+
+"anything that hurts the folk that don’t deserve
+it. At least from what I know. We don’t kill, we
+
+"don’t murder. We just move and sell and deal in
+various goods that aren’t perfectly legal.”
+
+MARISHA: Did Ulog and Dolan know about your
+involvement with the Gentleman?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+MARISHA: All right, here’s my question. Ulog was
+in against the High-Richter. That was his
+
+motivation. Dolan wanted to get after Lord Sutan
+for running him out of his practice.
+
+MATT: “Right.”
+
+MARISHA: What did you get out of all this?
+
+MATT: “Well, if I have a friend that makes it high
+in the political chain of the city– Dolan– and I
+
+"have the ear of the Gentleman, that’s a mighty
+powerful ally to the underworld without that ally
+
+"knowing.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. That’s a connection worth the
+trouble.
+
+MARISHA: You’re only in it to be a middleman? No
+goals or aspirations yourself?
+
+MATT: “Well, there’s good money in being the
+middleman, if this works out. To be honest, it
+
+"sure beats having to shuffle in the shadows. I
+work better in public anyway. It’s what I do for
+
+"the Gentleman now.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. You got a nice face. It’s good for
+presentory purposes.
+
+TRAVIS: “You got a nice face”?
+
+MARISHA: She does! Look! She’s got a good face!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m glad you found a place here. It was
+good to see you again.
+
+MATT: “You too. Sorry–”
+
+MARISHA: That was a compliment. Did it not?
+
+TRAVIS: If I can’t tell, you didn’t–
+
+MARISHA: That was a compliment. All right. Guess
+we’ll see you around.
+
+MATT: “Stay safe. You know where to find me, or at
+least ask about me, now. Looks like we’re in bed
+
+"one way or the other.”
+
+MARISHA: I mean–
+
+TRAVIS: Leave that one alone.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Let’s go!
+
+TRAVIS: We head downstairs.
+
+MATT: All right. You join up with the rest of the
+crew. You guys have all gathered again. What would
+
+you like to do?
+
+TALIESIN: Situationally, it could be a thing–
+
+SAM: I think they’re talking about the sword.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we’ve been talking about the
+sword.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, the one that we had for–
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Jester has it, doesn’t she?
+
+TALIESIN and TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Jester, by the way, you seriously– Your
+farts have been disgusting tonight. I’ve been
+
+sitting next to you all night , and it’s just
+foul. Foul.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Like sprinkles and hard candies.
+Just (dry puffing).
+
+MATT: “That’s not me. That is just a gift from
+the Traveler.”
+
+TRAVIS: (farting) Her skirt’s like, (farting).
+
+MATT: This is why you don’t miss a game, Laura.
+
+ASHLEY: But she’s sick.
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) I’m on the couch tonight!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Jester, why are you smearing feces all over
+your face?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s wafting over.
+
+MATT: Anyway.
+
+TRAVIS: Lucien–
+
+SAM: We can pass out the sword later, but do you
+think it’s something you could use?
+
+MATT: It a dark, graphite-colored blade
+that’s hooked in places and this gradual sharp. It’s a
+
+longsword, so it’s not the beefy thing you’re used
+to.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: What does she wield usually?
+
+TRAVIS: Greatsword.
+
+ASHLEY: Moontouched.
+
+MATT: It is a hefty blade. What you’re used to,
+this one’s a little smaller. It’s still helpful,
+
+but it’s your call.
+
+ASHLEY: I really saved up for the sword that I
+have. I thank you guys for thinking of me, but–
+
+SAM: Could you have it as a backup weapon or
+something?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you could shoulder that motherfucker.
+
+SAM: Could you dual wield?
+
+MATT: I think you could use it with your Hexblade.
+You can use it two-handed, do a d10, but that’s up
+
+to you. It’s not as hefty or as sentimental as the
+one you have.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll hold on to it.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll hold on. We’ll see if you want to
+play around with it, Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Nott, maybe you could use it. You know, for
+laughs.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: It’s taller than Nott.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s taller than Nott?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Many things are taller than Nott.
+
+SAM: I could use it as a makeshift shelter.
+
+LIAM: You could do the pole vault.
+
+TALIESIN: Interesting stuff there.
+
+ASHLEY: What do you think, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think it’s got some potential. Do
+you mind if I hold on to it for a bit?
+
+ASHLEY: No, by all means. I think I’m a bit
+attached to my sword.
+
+SAM: Can I just clock the tabaxi and see where
+that satchel with our blood in it is? Did she
+
+happen to put it down while she was over?
+
+MATT: No, it is over her shoulder and by her
+side.
+
+LIAM: That’s a shame
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a shame, because I wanted to get it
+back.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, why don’t you ask that big ogre by
+the door what her name is?
+
+SAM: Why? Why would I do that?
+
+TRAVIS: You have such a way with people.
+
+SAM: I do not.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you knock down the barriers, you get
+right in. Icebreaker.
+
+SAM: People hate me.
+
+TRAVIS: No, that’s not true at all.
+
+LIAM: I will go with you, if you want. If you want
+us to ask this–
+
+SAM: There’s no part of this that I want! But if
+you’d like to go over there, I’ll be your second.
+
+LIAM: To the ogre?
+
+SAM: Yeah. I’d be comfortable talking to that
+little crazy gnome.
+
+TRAVIS: Always good to make friends with the
+doorman. You got to know this.
+
+TALIESIN: That is a fair point.
+
+SAM: All right, we can go talk to the ogre.
+
+TRAVIS: Tell him that joke you know.
+
+SAM: All right, sure.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go.
+
+SAM: Can we go by the bar, though?
+
+LIAM: This is a people-building exercise.
+
+MATT: To lay it out, the whole room is shaped like
+an L. Here’s the far end, and this is the chamber.
+
+You guys entered from this side, around the corner
+the ogre’s right there. The bar’s up here, and
+
+this is where the Gentleman was.
+
+SAM: Going to swing by the bar, I need a refill.
+Going to give the bartender my flask, and say:
+
+Could you fill this entire thing up?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, no problem. Boss said it’s fine.”
+
+LIAM: He’s good, pouring a flask like that.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: He has practice. It’s a little spilled. It’s
+a little messy.
+
+SAM: I don’t tip.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Character choice!
+
+LIAM: Important note: Laura Bailey has texted in
+that she hates us all.
+
+SAM: We’ll go over to the ogre, I guess?
+
+LIAM: Sure. This is easy. We’re all going to die.
+
+MATT: You approach the ogre?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The ogre, who’s standing roughly ten, 11
+feet tall.
+
+LIAM: This is a guy, it is a male ogre?
+
+MATT: It is a male ogre, wearing patchwork hides
+and fur over one shoulder, large belly, rippling
+
+muscle arms, the maul held in one hand, resting
+against the chest. Deep, angry jaw that has jowls
+
+that swing as it turns its head to look towards
+you. Both the eyes are dark and beady, with a
+
+brown iris you can barely see under the folded
+brow. As you approach, it (snorts).
+
+LIAM: I also grab Jester by the wrist and drag her
+along, because she makes everyone smile, so I
+
+bring her with. Yeah, hello. I am sorry to bother
+you, but I think that we are loosely connected
+
+through work relations now. This is my friend
+Nott, this is Jester. My name is Caleb Widogast,
+
+and we are working for the Gentleman, much like
+you are. We are going to be here–
+
+SAM: What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye
+deer!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Come on.
+
+MARISHA: No, that’s great.
+
+MATT: (confused grunt)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no.
+
+SAM: It didn’t work.
+
+MATT: Literally rolled an intelligence check to
+see if he got it. And did not.
+
+LIAM: You know, we don’t want to take up too much
+of your time, I was just hoping to learn two
+
+things. One, what is your name?
+
+MATT: “Kutha.”
+
+LIAM: I wipe the warm breath off of my face.
+
+TRAVIS: Kutha.
+
+LIAM: And my second question is: do you like
+working for the Gentleman?
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been informed by Jester that she is
+now to use the Wand of Smiles.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: What is it?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: From the darkness, she strikes!
+
+SAM: It looks so painful!
+
+MATT: “What’s happening?” (grunting) Clawing at the
+jaw, trying to pull it down.
+
+LIAM: I will take that as a yes. I am glad we are
+doing business with this gentleman.
+
+SAM: Good to meet you.
+
+MATT: (groaning) “You do this?!”
+
+SAM: No, it wasn’t me! I didn’t do anything! Let’s
+go!
+
+TRAVIS: We should go.
+
+MATT: This terrible grinning ogre, who seems
+confused with the facial muscles not functioning.
+
+TRAVIS: We go up the stairs and out.
+
+MARISHA: You guys made friends. Good job.
+
+TRAVIS: Kuthag? Or Kuth–
+
+MATT: Kutha. K-U-T-H-A.
+
+LIAM: Kutha.
+
+MATT: Kutha. You guys make your way back up the
+spiral staircase, out through the trapdoor in the
+
+back storage room of the Evening Nip, exiting past
+the bar where Clive Binz sits there waiting with
+
+his half burn-scarred dwarven face, who gives you
+a nod as you exit back into the city– now, I
+
+believe, in the late-afternoon, near dusk– the sky
+grows darker as you proceed onto the next leg of
+
+your adventure. And that’s where we’re going to
+take a break.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: We’ll be back here in a few moments, guys.
+Please stick around; we have a great little video
+
+at 826 that I think you want to check out to let
+you know about the– It’s awesome, a bunch of us
+
+went down there and I hope helped–
+
+LIAM: We had the loveliest time, it was a great
+day; please check it out.
+
+MATT: We get to go back again on Saturday to
+finish up our campaign for those kids, it’s going
+
+to be exciting. We have our Wyrmwood giveaway, of
+course, for you folks out there. Those of you who
+
+want to come over into Twitch chat to enter, the
+code for tonight is “gentleman”– “A”, singular,
+
+“gentleman”! Gentleman, not men. You can only
+enter it once in the chat, any more than that and
+
+you’ll be disqualified. This is good for anyone in
+the United States, Canada, excluding Quebec,
+
+unfortunately, due to crazy rules and laws. But
+here you have this fancy zebrawood deck box, which
+
+is nice material that we’re all going to be
+signing and sending out, so we’ll come back from
+
+the break with the winner. Until then, hang tight,
+enjoy the break, and we’ll see you here in a few
+
+minutes.
+
+MARISHA: Hello, Critters! We are back at the Time
+Travel Mart in Echo Park, California, which is one
+
+of the homes of our beloved 826LA, and we’re going
+to tell you about this amazing organization and
+
+maybe play some Dungeons & Dragons? Come on, I’ll
+show you around.
+
+[funky music]
+
+MARISHA: You all probably remember this guy, Joel,
+the executive director from 826LA. Thank you so
+
+much for having us and talking to us once again.
+We’ve been doing this a few years now.
+
+JOEL: I think this is our third or fourth time
+together and I really appreciate the incredible
+
+support you’ve given us over the years, so thank
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, aren’t the Critters such an amazing
+group? We’ve heard rumors of people coming and
+
+stopping by and volunteering, yeah?
+
+JOEL: Yeah, they’re an incredibly generous group,
+and we’ve had volunteer orientations a few times a
+
+month, and there’s always a good ten folks who show
+up, and when we ask them, “How did you hear about
+
+"us?” they talk about your show, and it’s been a
+huge help to us.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my goodness, that warms my heart so
+much. I love it. Okay, so give us a little bit of
+
+a rundown on what 826 is, and what you guys do for
+all the amazing kids that come through here.
+
+JOEL: We’re a writing and tutoring organization.
+We really want to get kids excited about writing.
+
+We want to honor their creativity and give them a
+space where they can have fun and engage with
+
+volunteers who can listen and help guide them in
+their storytelling and in their writing. We do
+
+this after school tutoring, we do night time
+tutoring and we do workshops. We also do a field
+
+trip program, and then we also go into schools all
+across Los Angeles to provide this free,
+
+one-on-one service to kids.
+
+MARISHA: You guys have 826 chapters all over the
+country, correct?
+
+JOEL: That’s right, we’re part of 826 National,
+which is our umbrella organization out of San
+
+Francisco. We have chapters in San Francisco, we
+have one in New York, in Chicago, D.C., Michigan,
+
+Detroit. We’re actually opening one in New Orleans
+very soon.
+
+MARISHA: (gasps) Hey, NOLA!
+
+JOEL: NOLA. So we’re excited. We’re all very
+connected and we share resources and support each
+
+other. We’re all independent non-profits in our
+cities, but we collaborate and support each other.
+
+MARISHA: I love it so much. You guys have the Time
+Travel Mart, which is amazing, if you’re ever in
+
+Los Angeles, you have to come visit it. You have
+different themes for each of those across the
+
+nation, yeah?
+
+JOEL: Yeah, so we have actually two Time Travel
+Marts here in Los Angeles. We’ve got the one here
+
+that we’re in Echo Park, and we have one in Mar
+Vista, which is from the 1890s– this one’s the
+
+1980s Time Travel Mart. San Francisco has a pirate
+store, New York has a superhero supply store, they
+
+sell robot supplies in Michigan.
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) That all feeds right back into
+the organization, yeah?
+
+JOEL: Yeah. All the profit from those sales help
+pay for the free services we provide to kids from
+
+six to 18 years of age.
+
+MARISHA: How did that even come about? How did you
+guys think to do that? It’s so brilliant.
+
+JOEL: Dave Eggers, one of the founders of the
+organization, he was working with some volunteers
+
+at our founding site in San Francisco, and when
+they were taking apart the place, somebody said it
+
+looked like the inside of a pirate ship. So they
+decided to build a pirate store in the front. It
+
+was a joke at first, but people started leaving
+money at the counter. They didn’t even have a
+
+person who would take money– people kept donating
+and leaving money, so it became a concept, and all
+
+the cities now have storefronts.
+
+MARISHA: Now, if people want to get involved in
+826LA or any of the 826’s across the country, how
+
+is the best way to go about doing that?
+
+JOEL: Well, you can go to our website 826la.org,
+and there’s a whole section for volunteers where
+
+you could learn about what it takes to volunteer and
+you can sign up for volunteer orientation. All of
+
+our chapters across the nation have their own
+sites, so folks can visit and get involved.
+
+MARISHA: Awesome. You don’t necessarily have to
+tutor if that’s not your jam. You can do many
+
+things, right?
+
+JOEL: Yeah, we don’t turn any volunteers away. We
+try to figure out ways to get all volunteers
+
+involved. We need help with design, we need help
+with copy editing, we have a ton of projects that
+
+we could always use help on.
+
+MARISHA: Amazing. All skill sets are appreciated.
+
+JOEL: Absolutely.
+
+MARISHA: Joel, thank you, as always, for taking
+the time.
+
+JOEL: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: All right, we’ll see you soon.
+
+JOEL: See you soon.
+
+MARISHA: All right, here’s the deal: we are
+dedicating the next four weeks to our favorite
+
+charity, 826LA. Now, for every 5000 dollars we
+raise, a new incentive will be unlocked for
+
+everyone.
+
+TALIESIN: For a complete list of those incentives,
+head on over to geekandsundry.com.
+
+LIAM: Additionally, D&D Beyond has offered to
+donate $100 for every natural one rolled by the
+
+Mighty Nein up until June– including every
+natural one rolled to date, making a positive out
+
+of our misery.
+
+TRAVIS: And we have an amazing community member
+and Critter who has graciously offered to match
+
+all donations up to $40,000. That means each
+dollar that you donate will be doubled.
+
+MATT: A huge thank you, of course, to our friends
+at D&D Beyond, Geek and Sundry, and Wyrmwood for
+
+being so wonderful to support 826LA and bring joy
+to all of these kids. And, of course, we have to
+
+thank you, the Critters, whose continuous care and
+generosity even makes things like this possible.
+
+So I guess it’s time, guys.
+
+ALL: Let’s do this!
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Great timing.
+
+TRAVIS: They’re getting worse.
+
+MATT: So, we have our winner for the evening for
+the Wyrmwood giveaway. It is LoupRouge. LoupRouge,
+
+congratulations. Danoba will get your information
+and we’ll get that sent out to you ASAP. So
+
+congrats! All right, bringing us back into the
+game, you guys have all reassembled with a moment
+
+of your thoughts on the outside of the Evening
+Nip, just as the sun has set. The oranges and
+
+purples of the sky have taken over with the little
+bits that you can see beyond the cloud cover that
+
+still seems to permeate the atmosphere above you.
+With the recent storm mostly passed, it seems at
+
+least the gray skies are clinging as hard as they
+can. What do you wish to do?
+
+LIAM: Sun’s on its way down, you said?
+
+MATT: The sun has recently set.
+
+LIAM: It has set, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: I feel like I should divvy up that gold
+that I didn’t hand out earlier.
+
+TALIESIN: That is a very fine idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll have to remember–
+
+MARISHA: We want to go back to the Leaky Tap?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll have to remember to do that some
+other day.
+
+TALIESIN: I think that also sounds like a very
+fine idea.
+
+MARISHA: You know, that’s safe. We should also
+probably check in on the dodeca-doohickey as well.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a fair point.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, right. Does Jester have that?
+
+MATT: Jester has it, yeah, inside the backpack.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, right, she has it. Never mind.
+
+TRAVIS: I guess we should let Horris know that
+he’ll get an escort out of town, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. He was at the Leaky Tap, right? We
+left him there?
+
+MATT: You left him at the Leaky Tap, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, yeah. Let’s do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it.
+
+MATT: So you guys head back to the Leaky Tap. You
+head back to your chambers, and within the one
+
+room, Horris has been very careful. As soon as you
+open the door, Horris immediately grabs the nearby
+
+chair and like gets ready. “Oh. You’ve returned.”
+
+MARISHA: Going for the chair. I’m into it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, right?
+
+MATT: “Sorry, just, I’m a little jumpy. How are
+things going? How’s the search been?”
+
+TRAVIS: It went well. I think we found suitable
+passage for you out of this city. Needless to say,
+
+without involving you too much, we’re going to
+have someone take you out a secret entrance and
+
+make sure you’re safe on your way out.
+
+MARISHA: I hope you’re okay with being
+blindfolded.
+
+MATT: “I trust you. Yeah.”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. It was part of the deal.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I guess it was.
+
+MATT: “Okay. No, that’s fine. (sighs) Thank you. I
+can’t even begin to express my thanks.”
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t write down how much fucking gold,
+didn’t I? 620.
+
+SAM: Is Dolan gone? Already?
+
+MARISHA: Dolan is staying. Horris is getting out
+of Dodge.
+
+SAM: Got it.
+
+MARISHA: Horris, have you heard anything while
+we’ve been gone, or have you been staying in here?
+
+MATT: “I’ve been staying in here. I’ve been
+looking out the windows. There’s been more guard
+
+"activity in the streets. It looks like they’re
+making their way inward into the city and
+
+"beginning to inquire, at least from what I’ve
+seen. That’s it. Other than that, I’ve just been
+
+"bored and reading this book.” (chuckles)
+
+TALIESIN: Page-turner.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+TRAVIS: Any favorite parts?
+
+MATT: “Eh, no.”
+
+TRAVIS: Hate those. Pictures good?
+
+MATT: “There aren’t any pictures.”
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck are you reading it for,
+then?
+
+MATT: (clears throat) “Anyway.”
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Your Grog is showing.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sorry. Listen, everybody gets 104
+gold.
+
+SAM: 104 gold?!
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, and three silver.
+
+MARISHA: 104 gold.
+
+TRAVIS: No, not you.
+
+TALIESIN: Not yet.
+
+ASHLEY: (laughs) Fuck off. I was there in spirit.
+
+SAM: How many silver? What did you say?
+
+TRAVIS: Three silver.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LIAM: This is a good time to mention that in
+between last game and this–
+
+MATT: Oh, right.
+
+LIAM: –cantrips not–
+
+MATT: You can buy cantrip scrolls, but not–
+
+LIAM: Right, but Caleb would have known that.
+
+MATT: Right.
+
+LIAM: After Liam had asked the DM.
+
+MATT: Correct. You cannot transcribe cantrips.
+
+LIAM: So we’re switching out that cantrip for Hold
+Person, if that was at the store.
+
+MATT: Right. Yeah, it was. And paid the
+difference.
+
+LIAM: And Caleb is flat broke. Until right now!
+
+MATT: There you go! Always skirting that edge. I
+lived that life for three years.
+
+TRAVIS: So did we all.
+
+MARISHA: So much ramen.
+
+TALIESIN: It was D&D ramen.
+
+MATT: Paycheck, paycheck, paycheck. Paycheck! It’s
+gone.
+
+TRAVIS: Cereal for dinner.
+
+MATT: “Anyway.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well. I assume they’ll come for you,
+sometime in the night or in the morning. Hope you
+
+won’t mind if we don’t wait. We traded your
+expedited journey out of the city in order for us
+
+to go and take care of some bit of business for
+them.
+
+MATT: “Very well. Just tell me what you need from
+me, or what I should do.”
+
+TRAVIS: We didn’t really ask, did we?
+
+MARISHA: I thought he was coming with us when we
+go to leave. That’s what I thought.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Is that– or am I mistaken?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I think that’s probably right.
+
+MATT: You didn’t specify. But that seems like it
+might be a viable plan.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Either that or they’ll kill him. (fake
+laugh)
+
+MATT: “What?”
+
+MARISHA: Out of game, out of game! Don’t, you’re
+not– DM’s not here. DM’s not here.
+
+MATT: DM’s always here.
+
+MARISHA: Well, we should probably blindfold him
+ourselves on the way there so he just don’t even.
+
+We’ll figure it out.
+
+LIAM: You blindfold him on the way to being
+blindfolded?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh?
+
+MARISHA: Because if we take him down into the
+Evening Nip with us then they’re going to want to
+
+do the whole “Let me take your blood!” thing and
+“You weren’t here,” and “Who the fuck are you?”
+
+and all that shit.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: True.
+
+TALIESIN: How are we going to get him through the
+city with a blindfold on?
+
+MARISHA: So we don’t want to do that. Sorry, also
+Marisha talking right now.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe just before we go in. Anything we
+want to do before we go out on this errand?
+
+SAM: Oh, I think there was one thing. Tell us
+everything about you! Are you fucking kidding me?!
+
+Leave! Leave, Horris! Leave!
+
+MATT: “I’ll step in one of the other rooms. Is
+there a key I could–”
+
+MARISHA: Here. I toss him mine and Jester’s key.
+Just don’t steal any of the pillowcases or go
+
+through any of our luggage.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, they’re booby-trapped.
+
+MATT: “Okay.” He leaves the room. As soon as he
+leaves the room, Jester goes, “Okay, so tell us
+
+"about you! Each!”
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, this is not about me right now.
+
+SAM: It could be!
+
+ASHLEY: It doesn’t need to be.
+
+SAM: But you have secrets too! And you’re a pair!
+You know, I distinctly remember a moment when we
+
+were the shady pair of this group. But now it
+looks like you guys are!
+
+TALIESIN: Everyone’s a shady pair in this group.
+Somehow, even as individuals, we are all
+
+somehow shady pairs. It is just inevitable.
+
+SAM: Now I’m hungry for pears.
+
+TRAVIS: Sounds like a retirement home. The Shady
+Pear.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, Lucien, Noganon, what the fuck?
+
+MARISHA: Lucien sounds very, “I’m trying to find
+myself,” by the way. Just throwing that out there.
+
+SAM: Angsty teen.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s very angsty teen!
+
+TRAVIS: Is your real name Peter?
+
+MARISHA: I dated a few Luciens. Like, way too many
+Luciens.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this Marisha, or is this Beau?
+
+MARISHA: This is… Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: Never mind.
+
+MARISHA: Beau, but it’s still not necessarily
+untrue.
+
+TRAVIS: Undetermined percentage is still–
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve all been Lucien.
+
+LIAM: Six of one, half a dozen of another. Order
+of the story.
+
+MARISHA: Lot of guys in bands. Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: So. Well, I was born on the continent
+of– I really–
+
+TRAVIS: No, don’t stop. Just keep going.
+
+SAM: Would you like a drink? Here. It’s filled
+with many alcohols from different taverns.
+
+TALIESIN: I genuinely thought I would have some
+bullshit together by now, and I’m really sort of stuck.
+
+ASHLEY: Listen, I’ve never pushed you to talk
+about anything. If you don’t feel comfortable, you
+
+don’t owe any of us anything.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s dangerous, though. It’s officially
+dangerous.
+
+TRAVIS: What, to tell us what you’re about to tell
+us? For us, or for you?
+
+TALIESIN: At this point, what’s the difference?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, one’s us and one’s you.
+
+MARISHA: We definitely left our vials in a shady
+cellar with a bunch of underground criminals.
+
+SAM: I stole three empty vials from that place.
+I’m very excited about them. They’re empty, but
+
+they’re still really shiny.
+
+LIAM: (intones melody)
+
+TRAVIS: They’re all the same note because they’re
+all fucking empty. (intones melody) Oh no, that
+
+wouldn’t work.
+
+SAM: But seriously.
+
+TALIESIN: But seriously. I’ve been part of a shady
+group. I’ve been dealing with shady friends for as
+
+long as I can remember. If there’s one thing I’ve
+learned about dealing with people that you can’t
+
+trust, is that you have to trust them where you
+can and not trust them where you can’t. I’m not
+
+saying that I know what I’m doing or anything, but
+I don’t want anybody– I want this to work. I need
+
+this to work. I’ve not done this in a while. All
+right.
+
+TRAVIS: I noticed that she kind of had the same
+influence over the blood that you have, but
+
+different.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s interesting, isn’t it? This
+might even be easier if you just ask questions. I
+
+really don’t know how to tell this story.
+
+LIAM: Why do you have so many names?
+
+TALIESIN: I woke up without any names, or any
+past, buried in the ground two years ago.
+
+TRAVIS: Buried in the ground?
+
+LIAM: You woke up buried in the ground?
+
+SAM: Were you dead?
+
+TALIESIN: Obviously not.
+
+TRAVIS: In a box? In the dirt?
+
+TALIESIN: In the dirt.
+
+LIAM: And you are saying that you have no memory?
+
+TALIESIN: My first memory, my oldest memory is
+dirt in my face, underground.
+
+SAM: Jester would like to cast Zone of Truth.
+
+LIAM: Keeping it real on the field line!
+
+SAM: She says: (as Jester) I would like to play
+truth or dare, but without the dare.
+
+TALIESIN: How honest do I have to be?
+
+MATT: We’ll find out in a second.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Well, you can say whatever you want, but
+whatever you say has to be true. That’s how it
+
+works. You can also just say, “I don’t feel like
+talking.”
+
+MATT: All right, all of you who are in the 15-foot
+radius it’s being cast in, which would probably
+
+be… everybody. You’re all staying close on this.
+Everybody please make charisma saving throw.
+
+LIAM: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Saving throw?
+
+TRAVIS: Charisma saving throw?
+
+MATT: Charisma saving throw.
+
+SAM: I got a one.
+
+ASHLEY: Hey, money!
+
+SAM: Natural one! Ten dollars! To 826LA!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: It’s 100 dollars.
+
+SAM: What!? That’s even better!
+
+MARISHA: 100 dollars for every natural one.
+
+TALIESIN: I rolled a four.
+
+SAM: Okay, you’re in.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+LIAM: 13.
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+TRAVIS: 22.
+
+MATT: You are the only two that succeeded.
+Everyone else, you have to speak the truth.
+
+LIAM: But, DM, we know that, we feel it, according
+to the spell.
+
+MATT: Yes. You all sense the energy come over you
+and for a second you’re a little confused by it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, that’s not entirely true.
+It’s a vague memory. I don’t really remember it.
+
+It’s kind of all jumbled. It’s what I’ve been
+told, about some of it.
+
+MARISHA: So is that ritual she was rambling
+about?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: So before you woke up in the dirt,
+nothing?
+
+TALIESIN: There is no before. Whatever happened
+before is not me. It’s not part of anything–
+
+(sighs)
+
+SAM: Like your life reset somehow? Or you just
+don’t remember?
+
+TALIESIN: Some asshole got buried in the dirt.
+Fuck him. I am enjoying what I’m doing; I want
+
+nothing to do with that. Anything that came
+before, I was happy to just leave it be.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but do you have any theories for what
+happened before?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+MARISHA: Did you look the same, or did you come
+back–?
+
+TALIESIN: How would I know?
+
+SAM: Everything before two years ago is nothing to
+you. Black.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s somebody else.
+
+TRAVIS: Two years ago, did you have all those
+tattoos?
+
+TALIESIN: No, not exactly.
+
+SAM: Any of them?
+
+TALIESIN: Some of them, yes.
+
+LIAM: How much time passed between waking up in a
+dirt box and the circus?
+
+TALIESIN: Days. I was a bit out of it. It’s hard
+to remember. I wasn’t speaking, really. Do you
+
+have memories from your childhood?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, many.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: It felt like that. It’s all bright and
+more meaningful than it should be. There was just
+
+nothing. I was practically catatonic; I was barely
+speaking.
+
+MARISHA: Did you wake up to people, or alone?
+
+TALIESIN: Alone.
+
+LIAM: Are you a good guy?
+
+TALIESIN: I’d like to think so.
+
+TRAVIS: Why did she seem like she looked up to you
+so much?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. I don’t know who that was.
+I’ve never heard the name Lucien before, or that
+
+other name. I’ve never heard of any of it.
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t realize you didn’t. You did a
+good job at pretending.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, well. I like pretending.
+Pretending’s great.
+
+Who cares where anybody came from?
+
+MARISHA: How do you know she actually thinks it’s
+you and not, you know, maybe she just mistook you
+
+for someone actually named Lucien?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s possible except, of course, she
+had weird blood powers.
+
+MARISHA: So this happens to you.
+
+TALIESIN: Few months after I came to, I started
+noticing I could do things, knew things that I
+
+didn’t necessarily know I knew.
+
+LIAM: Are you talking about your abilities?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I can– can I see that dagger?
+
+SAM: I have three of them.
+
+TALIESIN: Pick one.
+
+SAM: (dink)
+
+TALIESIN: Ice.
+
+MATT: You watch as this large cluster of moisture
+all of a sudden solidifies around the outside of
+
+the blade, and the blade is now encrusted in
+jagged ice shards that just stick out, the steam
+
+coming off of it. Mist.
+
+SAM: That’s amazing. I would ask about how you
+discovered that, because that would not be
+
+something that I would ever just do, just to just
+see. But we’ll leave that for another day.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no, I can, we’re here. This is
+happening. That’s fine.
+
+SAM: Question. Go back two beats. You said, “Who
+cares about what happened before?”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Do you really not want to know your past?
+Answer truthfully.
+
+TALIESIN: I really don’t. Whoever that was came to
+that end, and I want nothing to do with that.
+
+Whatever it was, it doesn’t feel good when I– the
+moment when something creeps through, I don’t like
+
+it. I don’t want anything to do with it. I was
+happy! I liked the circus! The circus was great!
+
+LIAM: (As Jester) “Oh! I have a question! Is there
+anyone in the group you find super attractive?”
+
+(As Liam) A text from Laura.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: I think she was asking Yasha.
+
+LIAM: Oh, ask Yasha, oh.
+
+ASHLEY: Too late.
+
+LIAM: (As Jester) “What about you?”
+
+MATT: As the nature of the spell, you know you are
+under the effect of it, and you can be dodgy if
+
+you need to, but it’s up to you.
+
+LIAM: (As Jester) “You can tell me!”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a good Laura.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like– it’s a very good Laura. Yes, of
+course there are people here that I think are very
+
+attractive and charming, but that doesn’t mean I
+will act on that.
+
+TALIESIN: You can be monosyllabic if you like with
+these people.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly–
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+TRAVIS: In the years that have gone by–
+
+SAM: Yasha has a crush on me.
+
+TRAVIS: Has anyone called you any other names
+besides Molly, Lucien or–
+
+SAM: Nonagon?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Mahna Mahna.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, whatever that was. Not without me
+feeding it to them first. I mean, I’ve conned
+
+people. We’ve all conned people. I’ve used other
+names before.
+
+TRAVIS: No, but did they know you? Did they come
+up and give you a name?
+
+ASHLEY: This was the first time that’s
+happened.
+
+TALIESIN: A lot of this was in the hopes that
+maybe it would never happen, keep moving, keep quiet.
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t know anything about the ritual
+she was talking about?
+
+TALIESIN: But I’ll say this, and I’m going to put
+the knife down. Is there anything sharp around?
+
+Anything at all?
+
+TRAVIS: In this group?
+
+MATT: Yeah, plenty of things that are sharp.
+
+TALIESIN: Something that’s even ridiculous, like
+something not normal.
+
+MATT: Yeah, I mean, there are jagged parts of the
+wooden frame of the bed.
+
+TALIESIN: Perfect! I’m just going to cut myself
+again on the wooden frame and grab it, and use radiance.
+
+MATT: Okay. You watch as this bright, vibrant
+light billows out of it, glowing in the vicinity,
+
+similar that you’ve seen it encase the scimitar.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll admit, this is new.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s a hell of a thing.
+
+TALIESIN: You got to see the first time this
+happened.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, how much of this was under wraps? You
+knew any of this, in your time in the circus with–
+
+ASHLEY: I knew that he woke up and that he did not
+know who he was, but this was the first time that
+
+this has happened. Where someone has come to us
+and recognized him from his past.
+
+LIAM: (As Jester) “Molly, what about have you ever
+pooped your pants?”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s actually in the text thread chain.
+
+TALIESIN: Not that I’m– Well, no. That’s fair,
+sure. Well, it was worth it every time.
+
+SAM: I’m sorry to belabor this, but what if you
+had a good life before this? What if you were
+
+famous or rich or had friends or family?
+
+ASHLEY: I think were quite an amazing person–
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, here’s the thing that you’re not
+catching. That wasn’t me. This is mine. I don’t
+
+want anything from that other person anymore. That
+person is someone else. I don’t want anything to
+
+do with it. I did not feel good coming out of
+that. It was– I’m in for a penny, might as well.
+
+I’m told, although I don’t entirely remember this
+part, that I only said the word empty over and
+
+over again for the first week.
+
+TRAVIS, MARISHA, and SAM: Empty?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know what that means.
+
+LIAM: M.T. or empty?
+
+TALIESIN: Empty. I don’t know. Barely remember.
+
+LIAM: Jester? I feel your touch on this
+conversation, is this all accurate?
+
+MATT: “As far as I can tell, yes. He did indeed
+poop his pants.”
+
+LIAM: And the rest?
+
+MATT: “Oh that too, yes!”
+
+SAM: Empty.
+
+TALIESIN: That sounds terrible. I don’t want to
+remember anything. I don’t want to anybody else’s
+
+baggage in my head and I don’t want anybody else’s
+problems, thoughts, ideas. I like this person,
+
+right now is a good person. Is a fine person. Is a
+happy person.
+
+MARISHA: She kept referencing a book.
+
+TRAVIS: No idea.
+
+TALIESIN: Sounds shifty.
+
+MARISHA: What if we could find the book?
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. I don’t want it.
+
+LIAM: Well, I will say, I am a little concerned
+about, you know, loose ends coming to bite you,
+
+and us in the butt. However–
+
+TALIESIN: We all have a few, I assume.
+
+LIAM: I believe in second starts and that’s enough
+for me.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you imagine what it would feel like
+to not feel anything about anything that had
+
+happened to you so far?
+
+TRAVIS, LIAM, and SAM: No.
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Why am I not surprised?
+
+SAM: What do you mean yes? You can imagine what
+it’s like what it’s like to not feel anything
+
+before this moment? Have you died before?
+
+MARISHA: No. Doesn’t mean you have to find meaning
+in meaningless things.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s very freeing. It’s the best thing–
+it’s the thing that happened to me. It’s not the
+
+best thing that happened to me, it’s the thing
+that happened to me. I found peace in building a
+
+new person. The Moonweaver–
+
+MARISHA: You know just because you know about your
+past doesn’t mean you have to be beholden to it.
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: If you–
+
+TALIESIN: What if it feels that I owe it
+something?
+
+MARISHA: You don’t owe your past shit. If I don’t
+feel anything about my past, but I still remember
+
+it and I still don’t give a fuck about where I
+came from then, why should you care about shit
+
+that you don’t even remember?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a layered question.
+
+TALIESIN: I spent two years before I met you all
+cajoling people, occasionally ripping them off,
+
+occasionally doing a good turn here or there.
+Never trust the truth. The truth is vicious. The
+
+truth thinks you owe it something. None of that. I
+like my bullshit. It’s good. It’s happy. It makes
+
+other people happy.
+
+SAM: But it’s not who you are.
+
+TALIESIN: It is exactly who I am.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I ask you, when you’re praying over
+your swords at night, are you actually doing anything?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, do you know who the Moonweaver
+is?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Excellent. The swords are cheap carnival
+glass. There’s nothing special about them.
+
+LIAM: May I make a check to see if I have ever
+heard of the Moonweaver?
+
+MATT: Make a religion check.
+
+SAM: Is the Moonweaver not real?
+
+LIAM: 23.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, you’ve definitely heard of the
+Moonweaver.
+
+TALIESIN: Literally a decorated pair of swords to
+make them look special.
+
+MATT: The Moonweaver is classically more of an
+elven deity. They are a god over night, of
+
+shadows, music, there’s a lot of variations to
+what they go over, but they are definitely not one
+
+of the approved religions in the empire, and is
+not considered one of the betrayer gods
+
+classically. Is an inspiration for a lot of art in
+classic elven history, even some modern. The
+
+caretaker of evening trysts. Has a lot of unique
+history to the Moonweaver.
+
+TRAVIS: So it’s you that’s special, not your
+swords.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, you seem like you have a pretty
+solidified identity for someone who has only had
+
+consciousness for two years.
+
+TALIESIN: Things came back quick, and the circus
+helped. They were good people. They did a lot of
+
+me and joy can fill an awful lot of a person’s
+life.
+
+MARISHA: Things came back quick; do you feel like
+there’s still remnants of whoever you once were that
+
+have informed who you are now?
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe. I feel tinges of things on
+occasion, nothing I like.
+
+MARISHA: Interesting.
+
+SAM: If you always lie and bullshit, how are we
+ever going to believe you?
+
+TALIESIN: Because I always lie and bullshit.
+
+MARISHA: I can kind of agree with that. Cheers to
+bullshit.
+
+TALIESIN: I may be a liar but I’m never a
+betrayer. I’m honest in my work, and I believe in
+
+doing a good turn. I’ve never cheated you out of
+money. I’ve never robbed from you. I stayed with
+
+that circus for two years, I know how people treat
+each other. It’s important. And all that stuff you
+
+told me before? I’ve got to admit, I didn’t even
+listen to any bit of it. I was just trying to
+
+teach you a lesson. I don’t care where you’ve
+been. I don’t care what terrible things any of you
+
+have done. You’re here now. This is how it works.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “Molly?”
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, darling.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “I have a question.”
+
+TALIESIN: Of course.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “Can you really read fortunes?”
+
+TALIESIN: I use fortunes to tell people what I see
+in them. But sometimes, sometimes, I feel like
+
+maybe there’s something that tickles the back of
+my head, I will admit.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “You have a feeling?”
+
+TALIESIN: Some days.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t believe him, Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: Am I lying?
+
+SAM: He has to be telling the truth.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: He has to.
+
+ASHLEY: I do feel like you actually, weirdly, have
+a gift for that.
+
+TALIESIN: I always try to be helpful when I turn
+cards for people.
+
+MARISHA: You ever think you could actually be
+doing damage, though? Setting people on false paths?
+
+TALIESIN: People are looking for a path, they’re
+looking for a path. And I’ll tell you– and this
+
+is true– I did my best every town I went to and
+every town I left, no matter how they treated me–
+
+and a lot of them treated me with deep
+disrespect.
+
+MARISHA: Some people are vulnerable and looking
+for answers.
+
+TALIESIN: I left every town better than I found
+it.
+
+SAM: Which tattoos are the old ones? I mean, I
+don’t want to see your naked body or anything. But
+
+do you have some?
+
+TALIESIN: Is it– yeah, no. So I show off the
+peacock a little bit. One of the peacock feathers
+
+on the neck–
+
+LIAM: What about your tattoos, though?
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you, Liam. One of the eyes on one
+of the peacock feathers is a bright crimson red,
+
+which any of you if you’d ever made a fucking
+insight check would know. God, I was waiting for
+
+you to fuck with me. It’s also the same place that
+he bleeds every time that he uses any of his
+
+powers. There’s also a red eye on the snake on the
+palm, and there’s a red eye on the snake on the
+
+opposite side of the hand.
+
+SAM: What does that mean? What does it mean?
+Caleb, what does it mean?
+
+LIAM: That’s a lot of ink, man.
+
+SAM: Red eyes or something?
+
+TALIESIN: There are various–
+
+LIAM: Hey, does any of that symbology mean
+anything to me?
+
+MATT: Not at the moment. How much do you show?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just showing the snake, the two
+snake eyes. I’m showing the peacock eye. And then
+
+I’m going to show the eye in the floral
+arrangement.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Patterson, come on. Help us out
+here right now. This is your day job.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I’ll have to look at my tattoo
+database.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Get out the black light.
+
+TALIESIN: I tried to cover them, but they wouldn’t
+take ink. So I just did my best.
+
+SAM: They’re not tattoos?
+
+TALIESIN: No. I don’t know what they are.
+
+SAM: They’re just markings?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: But you don’t remember getting them? They
+just appeared?
+
+SAM: They were just there.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “(clears throat) Caleb, I have a
+question.”
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t have to do every one of these
+that’s she’s going to fucking write.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “Do you shave your butt?”
+(as Caleb) I can truthfully say–
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t.
+
+LIAM: No, that was for me.
+
+TALIESIN: But now that you bring it up, because
+I’d never occurred to it, I might start.
+
+TRAVIS: That was to Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that was for Caleb. Never mind,
+sorry.
+
+SAM: No, that’s very interesting. Good to know.
+
+LIAM: Now you know that neither Molly nor I shave
+our butt.
+
+TALIESIN: Who butt shaves?
+
+LIAM: And also there’s not a lot of hair there
+anyway, so.
+
+MATT: And also, there’s only a couple minutes more
+left on the spell.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything else before we’re done here?
+
+MARISHA: Did you ever know anyone who did used to
+try and set people on wrong paths with their
+
+fortune telling?
+
+TALIESIN: No. We tried–
+
+That’s dangerous work and it’ll
+usually backfire. No interest in that. It’s mostly
+
+just trying to help people get their shit
+together. Did someone send you on the wrong path?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair. I don’t care, to be fair.
+
+MARISHA: Still in the Zone of Truth now.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there anything about you that you don’t
+want us to know?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. Everything. I like the safety of
+it, and if I had had my way, this would’ve been a
+
+conversation for a later date. But I need to
+protect you and myself from whatever that is, so
+
+you need to know that that is a wild card.
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate that.
+
+MARISHA: Well this was fun.
+
+SAM: I feel like we should do this every night.
+But I will say this: Lucien?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a terrible name.
+
+SAM: It’s terrible.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t ever want to know who that
+person is.
+
+SAM: It’s like a kid with a soft mustache that’s
+not like a real– you know, like a–
+
+TALIESIN: Let me make this abundantly clear. My
+name is Molly. That person is dead and not me.
+
+It’s just a person who had this body. They
+abandoned it, it’s mine now.
+
+SAM: I think that you need to know where you’ve
+been to know where you’re going and I respect your feelings–
+
+TALIESIN: And I feel that you’re fretfully
+ignorant and filled with platitudes. But I still
+
+like you regardless.
+
+SAM: I feel like when you’re ready to know your
+past, I would support that and I would help you
+
+find it.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe he killed goblins. Maybe he was a
+goblin hunter. Maybe he ate them. Raw.
+
+LIAM: Perhaps we have learned all we need to learn
+from this conversation. Maybe it is time to turn in.
+
+We have some things to do tomorrow. I am
+satisfied, Mollymauk Tealeaf. For now.
+
+TALIESIN: This was not how I expected this to go.
+Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: For what it’s worth, I like you a little
+better now.
+
+SAM: Me too.
+
+MARISHA: You don’t have to reciprocate it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m waiting for the spell to dissipate
+before I say anything.
+
+MATT: About now the spell has dissipated.
+
+TALIESIN: I both like you more and less at the
+same time.
+
+MARISHA: I get that a lot.
+
+SAM: Is the spell gone?
+
+MATT: The spell’s gone.
+
+SAM: Goddamn it! Yasha, tell us everything! Fuck!
+
+MATT: You can still press her.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you, dear. (sighs)
+
+TRAVIS: Should we turn in before we head out
+tomorrow?
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, Fjord and I found out that we’re
+probably going to be facing some undead wispy
+
+things that might electrocute us.
+
+SAM: I think we all– did we all find out? No?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we came out and told you that.
+
+TALIESIN: Even that “undead wispy things,” is that
+triggering anything in the brain?
+
+MATT: You know, go ahead and make a religion
+check. With advantage.
+
+LIAM: The Gentleman described the research
+facility to everybody right? Before they split off?
+
+MATT: He what?
+
+LIAM: The Gentleman.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Described the research facility, the job to
+everybody.
+
+MATT: To everybody who was present at the table
+and remained within the vicinity at the moment.
+
+LIAM: Right. So we all heard that?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re familiar with these entities.
+They’re generally undead orbs that–
+
+TALIESIN: Undead orbs.
+
+MATT: That haunt swamps, haunt areas where they
+seek life force to siphon it and devour it.
+
+They’re will-o’-wisps.
+
+TALIESIN: They’re basically will-o’-wisps. You
+usually find them in swamps or things like that.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Do you know how to fight them?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. Am I smoldering?
+
+MARISHA: You are.
+
+(chuckles)
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Yes. It’s so good. It’s a good movie.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. Anyway. All right.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll turn in.
+
+MATT: All right, you guys all turn in?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. An evening’s rest takes you as
+you all take a while, ruminating on the events of
+
+the day, the information acquired and the path
+before you. You eventually find yourselves to
+
+sleep so you can take your long rests for the
+night. Are you doing anything with the sword?
+
+TRAVIS: With the sword?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: The one– you mean the–
+
+MATT: The one that you took from Yasha.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+MATT: Are you–
+
+TRAVIS: Not yet.
+
+MATT: Not yet? Okay. Anybody else? Anything? All
+right then. As the morning comes to, you all wake
+
+up relatively early because you went to bed
+relatively early. It’s shortly after sunrise. You
+
+find yourself conscious. Some of the first to
+really hit the downstairs tavern for breakfast.
+
+Food is served, drinks are had and the morning and
+day is yours. What do you wish to do?
+
+TRAVIS: How long does it take to attune to
+something? An hour? Shit, maybe I should have–
+
+MARISHA: A short rest.
+
+MATT: You can do it if you want.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you could do it if you want.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I want to try to attune to the
+Wastehunter Blade.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you focus on it and as you lie
+there, concentrating on it, you extend the essence
+
+of whatever pact you’ve made with this entity into
+this weapon. As you finally finish the period of
+
+time, you hold the blade in front of you and it
+vanishes into the pocket.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+MATT: As you force it to apparate once more in
+your grasp and the blade returns, it has the same
+
+hooked shape, but now this blade is encrusted with
+barnacles along the base of it. Edges of it have
+
+curved around and water continues to drip off
+this. It seems to have transferred whatever the
+
+essence of this pact blade is to this one. At this
+moment you realize whatever weapon you seem to
+
+bond with in this way will carry that same aquatic
+essence based on the communion that you’ve acquired.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you do this alone or was I in the
+room when this happened? I would have loved to
+
+have watched this.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you were there.
+
+TALIESIN: I walk up, get a little uncomfortably
+close, put my hand on your chest. The power was in
+
+you, all along. See you at breakfast!
+
+LIAM: Oh no. I’m going to scuttle off and go over
+to Pumat’s. I have just a short little shopping.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I need to go as well.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you do? Okay. So I’m having bacon down
+below, so I will wait until I see you.
+
+SAM: Anyone need to go to Pumat’s?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, you know who should come? Yasha.
+
+SAM: She’s never met Pumats Sols.
+
+ASHLEY: Pumats?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. The Invulnerable Vagrant.
+
+SAM: It’s a quartet. It’s a doo-wop group.
+
+MARISHA: It’s crazy.
+
+SAM: They all sing bass.
+
+LIAM: You need to let your soul glow.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, would you all mind looking in to see
+if you find any throwing stars or any throwing
+
+darts? Here, I’ll give you some– here.
+
+LIAM: Shuriken?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. See, I need something– I give him
+a little bit of gold to see if he–
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: How much is a little bit?
+
+MARISHA: Here. Here’s ten gold.
+
+LIAM: Hey!
+
+MARISHA: Bring me back the change.
+
+LIAM: For throwing stars from Pumat. Okay. I will
+definitely ask him if he has “throwing stars.”
+
+MARISHA: If he does not have throwing stars ask
+for darts or the equivalent. Do not fuck me here,
+
+Caleb. Do not fuck me.
+
+LIAM: Not interested, but I will ask about the
+items you are looking for.
+
+SAM: Seems pretty aggressive for a favor.
+
+MATT: Classic Beauregard.
+
+TRAVIS: You’ll like this. Pumat Sol is– how would
+you describe? Unique?
+
+LIAM: Well, not one-of-a-kind.
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we should just–
+
+TALIESIN: Did you just tell a joke?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+TALIESIN: (sighs) It’s a shame. It was a very good
+one.
+
+SAM: Germans don’t tell jokes.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Zemnians.
+
+SAM: Zemnians experience only pain.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody else coming to the Invulnerable
+Vagrant besides the three of us? Yep, four.
+
+ASHLEY: What’s it called?
+
+TRAVIS: The Invulnerable Vagrant.
+
+SAM: Is everybody going to go?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll stay here and watch Horris. Me and
+Jester, right.
+
+MATT: Jester will stay as well. There you go.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go wake him up. He’s been
+sleeping in. Asshole.
+
+SAM: (as Jester) “I have the diarrhea.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Come on Jester, come on.
+
+LIAM: Oh man.
+
+TRAVIS: (as Jester) “Don’t make me laugh.”
+
+MATT: Oh, boy.
+
+LIAM: Laura is texting with a full case of FOMO
+right now. Ooh.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s slowly sharpening a blade at home,
+just–
+
+LIAM: We miss you, Laura. Next week.
+
+TRAVIS: When I come home all the lights will be
+off with just a candle and a chair.
+
+LIAM: When you get home, just the blinds are
+open.
+
+MATT: All righty. So for those of you who are
+making your way towards the Pentamarket, you
+
+eventually find the outskirts of the Invulnerable
+Vagrant. You enter the interior and there are two
+
+other individuals that are doing business with two
+of the Pumats.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we recognize them?
+
+MATT: You do not. They seem to be just asking
+questions and looking about the vicinity.
+
+MARISHA: Before they leave, can I be like, don’t forget, they’re looking for us. To Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I recognize these people?
+
+MATT: You do not.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. I may have the chill cloak
+flipped, to try and be a little less conspicuous
+
+rolling around, for what it’s worth.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: You did the artist formerly known as
+Prince?
+
+MATT: So as you enter the chamber and you see the
+two Pumats are busy, the counter is currently not
+
+helmed and they’re mid-discussion, but one of them
+turns and kind of acknowledges you enter. “Oh,
+
+that’s real nice to see you. Just relax there a
+bit. If you need help immediately we can see if
+
+Prime’s available.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, if you wouldn’t mind, this is one of
+our compatriots. This is Yasha. New to your establishment.
+
+MATT: “Yasha. That’s a wonderful name. I can’t
+help you because I’m helping this person, but just
+
+hang tight a second. Pumat? He’ll be right with
+you.”
+
+ASHLEY: Isn’t he Pumat?
+
+MATT: You see two of them that look identical in
+the room.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, you guys are twins?
+
+MATT: “Something like that. He’ll be right with
+you.” Turns around.
+
+LIAM: Just breathe it in.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: You hear a couple of heavy footfalls, what
+sounds like a toppling of some metallic pan that
+
+(clattering metal) like, “Ah, shi– hello!” The
+curtain opens and you see one of the Pumats, but
+
+with a set of goggles right above the head, an
+apron on with a bunch of different tools and
+
+various accoutrements stuffed into different
+pockets. “Hey, so I’m helping someone. Who needs help?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, actually–
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: This is our friend Yasha. She’s new to
+your establishment.
+
+ASHLEY: Hello.
+
+MATT: "Right. Now, you’ve been here before. You’re
+working with the other ones. All right. Morning.
+
+Morning to you. Hey, can I help you?”
+
+ASHLEY I just– I mean, do you have Chinese stars?
+Throwing stars?
+
+MATT: “I don’t understand what that is.”
+
+ASHLEY: They’re like pointy things that you throw
+and they’re metal.
+
+MATT: “Oh. Are you talking about a dagger or a
+dart or something like that?”
+
+ASHLEY: Darts, daggers– darts.
+
+MATT: “You can probably go to a blacksmith and get
+that made for you. I don’t really craft things
+
+here from their base components. We generally take
+them and I enchant them to a better degree. I make
+
+generally not-so-great things pretty great.”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh!
+
+LIAM: I gather we all hear this conversation,
+yeah?
+
+MATT: Yeah. And you’re catching that Pumat Prime is a
+little surlier than the other ones. He seems like
+
+he’s a little more down to business than the
+various versions of him out there.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re probably going to be dealing with
+some restless spirits actually, so if there’s
+
+anything to deal with some of these
+phantasmagorical creatures, will-o’-wisps, that
+
+sort of thing.
+
+MATT: “Ah, interesting. You’re going to be dealing
+with some of the spiritual realm, you say?”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, inevitably.
+
+MATT: “All right. Let’s see. Pretty sure I got
+maybe a vial or two of holy water if that’s what
+
+you’re looking for. That’s not usually my purview,
+but we keep a couple in stock just in case. Let me
+
+see what I can muster.” Goes ahead and rummages
+through in the back. You hear more metal and glass
+
+clanking and one box gets shifted off to the side.
+“Ah, dang nabbit.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, do you have any healing potions?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t. That’s actually– I wanted to get
+some. Let’s see. Just want to double check to see
+
+if I do.
+
+MATT: “All righty.” Comes out. “I’ve got two vials
+of holy water remaining. Those will run you about
+
+25 gold pieces apiece if you want them.”
+
+TALIESIN: Perfect. That’s exactly what I was
+looking for was two vials of holy water.
+
+MATT: “Well, look at that. It’s like it was meant
+to be. Straight up destiny.”
+
+SAM: (laughs)
+
+TALIESIN: Probably need some healing potions or
+something?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Do you have some healing potions?
+
+MATT: “Ah, well you see, funny thing with all of
+these adventurers, keep coming in and clearing me
+
+out. We got maybe two more, but you got to give us
+time to restock. You guys, your friends here have
+
+been mighty hungry.”
+
+ASHLEY: Well, they’re the Mighty Nein.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god, that head shake afterwards.
+
+MARISHA: Her initial regret.
+
+TRAVIS: The bail.
+
+MARISHA: Immediate nope. Nah.
+
+ASHLEY: How much are they?
+
+MATT: “Those will put you back about 50 gold
+pieces apiece since we have the friendly discount
+
+of repeated customers. Isn’t that right, one of–
+me’s? One of the Pumats goes, "That’s correct.
+
+They’ve been in here a few times.” He’s like, “All
+right. Great. Thank you for looking out there,
+
+buddy. All right. So–”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m really glad to hear that friendly
+discount’s getting even friendlier. That really
+
+nice cloak you have on the wall.
+
+MATT: “Yep?”
+
+TRAVIS: How much is that?
+
+MATT: “Oh, you’re referring to that protection
+cloak. Let’s see here.” (grunts) Takes it off the
+
+counter, checks it. “That’ll run you back about
+800 gold pieces.”
+
+TRAVIS: I fell face first into some coin recently.
+I think I’ll take that.
+
+SAM: Whoa!
+
+MATT: “Well.” You watch the demeanor shift a
+little bit from like the “I’m busy.” Like “Well,
+
+happy to see a big spender coming on first thing
+in the morning.” You start seeing more of the
+
+connection with the other Pumats.
+
+LIAM: Ah, regular Percival de Rolo over here.
+
+MATT: “Well, might I have your name? I don’t think
+we’ve had the pleasure personally.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+MATT: “Fjord–?”
+
+SAM: Tough.
+
+MATT: “Fjord Tough. Pumat Sol Prime. And I
+believe this is now known as "Fjord’s Cloak.”
+
+ASHLEY: So does that mean that the– I’ve seen a
+deal somewhere with somebody, also threw in some
+
+healing spells when they bought a cloak? Is that a
+thing?
+
+MATT: “You’re looking for a discount for the
+healing potion?”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+ASHLEY: My charisma’s fucked.
+
+MATT: I know. But, hey, you never know.
+
+TRAVIS: I like it.
+
+LIAM: Yasha and Caleb in Napoleon Dynamite.
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: 14? “You know what? I’m not going to lie.
+I’m kind of a fan of the no-nonsense kind of a
+
+lady. So, sure, I’ll throw in a ten gold discount
+on each of those healing potions. So that’s 80
+
+gold for you for the two.”
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take them.
+
+MATT: “All righty. Here you go.”
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, I have a simple request.
+
+MATT: “That’s all right. Simple requests are
+always open. What do you need?”
+
+LIAM: About 100 gold worth of ink for transcribing
+arcane knowledge.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, more of that wizard stuff. I got that
+for you. I got two ink vials there. Those’ll last
+
+you for a little while. Get that going for you.
+Some parchment. 100 gold, friend. Thank you very
+
+much. Pleasure doing business with you.”
+
+LIAM: I have four gold to my name again.
+
+SAM: If you need a loan, I can–
+
+LIAM: Don’t worry about it.
+
+MARISHA: Being a wizard’s expensive, ja?
+
+LIAM: It is. It is.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I have no money.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll make some money.
+
+SAM: Were there any throwing weapons that you
+have, even if they’re enchanted?
+
+MATT: “Well, I do have one enchanted dagger, if
+you’re so interested.”
+
+SAM: Would she like that?
+
+LIAM: I don’t think she would, actually.
+
+SAM: She doesn’t like to throw daggers. She only
+likes to throw–
+
+LIAM: She might, but it doesn’t seem her bag.
+
+SAM: What does it do?
+
+MATT: “Well this one, when it’s thrown, if it
+misses, it comes right back to you.”
+
+SAM: It comes right back to you?
+
+MATT: “If it misses.”
+
+SAM: A dagger that comes back to you?
+
+MATT: “If you miss with it.”
+
+SAM: Caleb, did you hear that?
+
+LIAM: Sounds like bullshit to me.
+
+SAM: That’s incredible.
+
+MATT: “It’s pretty useful. I don’t know about
+incredible.”
+
+TRAVIS: If you miss with it.
+
+MATT: “Look, I’m just being straight with you.
+It’s a pretty useful thing on occasion.”
+
+LIAM: What about yourself?
+
+SAM: Oh, I’m fine. He’s already– they’re already
+making me something.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but I’ve seen you throw a dagger or
+two in your time and you always have to walk out
+
+to the tree and pull it out or walk out to the
+gnoll and pull it out. This way it would come
+
+right back to you. Think about it.
+
+SAM: Throwing a dagger just seems so inelegant to
+me. I don’t know why. They’re meant to cut food
+
+and to eat food with.
+
+MATT: “I mean no offense to any of you here, but I
+got to get right back to work. Looks like one of
+
+my me’s is available to help you for the rest of
+this–”
+
+LIAM: I understand. If she changes her mind, we’ll
+let you know.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, no, well, let them know. Thank you so
+much. Have a wonderful day. It’s a pleasure to see
+
+you again. You too.”
+
+ASHLEY: Nice to meet you.
+
+MATT: “Nice to meet you as well, big lady.” He
+takes his goggles down. “Have a good day.” He
+
+turns around and goes into the back chamber. It’s
+funny, him saying big lady, because he’s huge.
+
+He’s bigger than you are. He goes into the back
+and goes right back to work and you hear another
+
+foot hit the pan. “Ah, I need to– aw man.”
+
+LIAM: How high are the ceilings in this store?
+
+MATT: The ceiling’s probably about ten-foot.
+
+LIAM: I low how your voice went (low voice) to
+(imitating Matt) “The ceiling’s about–” Okay. Got it.
+
+MATT: “Hi. Sorry about that. I was helping a
+customer, but he’s left now. Not purchasing
+
+anything. So I’m happy to help you. What can I do
+for you?”
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re pretty well taken care of
+at this point.
+
+TRAVIS: We got everything we need.
+
+MATT: “All righty. Well, have a wonderful day and
+come by whenever you like, big spender. I saw that.”
+
+SAM: Is my flask coming along all right?
+
+MATT: “Coming along fine. I think that’s part of
+what Pumat’s working on right now.”
+
+SAM: Add any sort of shiny finish to it or some
+extra flair or baubles to it, that would be fine.
+
+MATT: “I’ll see what we can do. Thank you.”
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+SAM: All right. Thank you.
+
+MATT: All right. Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: We leave. Unique, huh?
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a– I’ve never seen any– I thought
+they were related and then they all have the same
+
+name so I guess that’s another thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You’re quite the word wizard with
+the haggling there.
+
+ASHLEY: Listen. I realize I’m not great with
+people. Just no need to point it out.
+
+TRAVIS: I was being honest. You actually got money
+off.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh. I forgot about that. Yes, I did.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, nice job.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never seen you blush before.
+
+LIAM: She is quite pale. It’s hard to tell.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, what do we need–
+
+TRAVIS: She doesn’t like the spotlight.
+
+LIAM: Attention’s a bitch, isn’t it?
+
+ASHLEY and LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+ASHLEY: Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: We should probably go to the blacksmith
+at some point.
+
+MATT: Easily enough at the blacksmith, for the
+sake of brevity here. Yeah, you can pick up–
+
+LIAM: A thousand throwing stars.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, for ten gold. Just ball bearings
+and throwing stars.
+
+MATT: For a single dart, which is the equivalent.
+We’ll say there are darts and there are, we’ll say
+
+throwing stars. Sure, why not? Because of the
+Archive’s nearby, there probably would be a use
+
+for them. They’re not often called for. It’s
+probably a surprise that somebody wanted to
+
+purchase them, but they have about 20, we’ll say,
+throwing stars, which act as darts, for five
+
+copper a piece.
+
+LIAM: I hand Yasha one of the ten gold that Beau
+gave me. This is Beau’s money, so I think she’d
+
+want you to purchase them.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, she gave you the money.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but she doesn’t like me very much.
+
+ASHLEY: Well maybe that will make her like you
+more.
+
+LIAM: That’s doubtful.
+
+ASHLEY: Why do you think that?
+
+LIAM: Why do I think it’s doubtful she will like
+me? She has threatened me constantly. She is very
+
+aggressive. She’s very surly. She doesn’t smile a
+lot unless there is a spell cast on her. I’ve only
+
+seen her punch people in the face.
+
+TALIESIN: Has she punched you in the face yet?
+
+LIAM: Give her time.
+
+TALIESIN: I think she likes you.
+
+ASHLEY: The only reason I might disagree is
+because she did give you money.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take that money. It’ll be no
+problem.
+
+LIAM: I give one gold to Yasha and I hold on to
+the other nine.
+
+ALL: Nein.
+
+ASHLEY: What are you going to do with the rest of
+the money?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to give it back to her.
+
+TALIESIN: We can, to be fair, get all 20 of those
+throwing darts for one gold.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Okay. So the transaction completed, you have
+a bunch of these throwing stars. They’re metallic.
+
+They’re triangular in shape and bladed at the
+edges. Pretty light.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I test one out?
+
+MATT: Sure. Go ahead and roll a d20.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: Nope. Seven. No, sorry. Nine.
+
+ALL: Nein!
+
+MATT: You throw it towards this post and it
+(whoosh). (whinnies) This horse all of a sudden
+
+bucks and kicks the side of the stable nearby and
+you hear the wood crack from the kick. All of the
+
+sudden you hear voices of the two stable hands
+trying to hold back this horse. So it’s 19
+
+throwing stars.
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck, sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: It was worth it.
+
+ASHLEY: Admittedly, I’m not good at throwing
+things, but it looked really cool.
+
+TRAVIS: Did we bring Horris with us?
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m watching him. While you guys are
+doing this, I’m like: Check under your bed. Did
+
+you leave anything behind? Go pee. One last time,
+man. Come on, come on.
+
+LIAM: Too real for me, too real.
+
+TRAVIS: Camp counselor Beau. Incredible.
+
+MATT: Caleb, Molly, and Jester, actually, as you
+guys are walking back, you notice that there are
+
+now clusters of about three or four crownsguard at
+different places that are in the process of asking
+
+questions to people, going from place to place and
+inquiring.
+
+TALIESIN: I am going to turn around and
+immediately head towards the other bar. The
+
+Evening Nip.
+
+SAM: Jester’s not with us.
+
+MATT: Right, she’s not with you. You’re right.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to let you know. Tell them I’m
+hiding at the bar and I’ll meet them there when
+
+it’s time.
+
+LIAM: We see guards asking around?
+
+MATT: Yeah, like talking to people, asking
+questions.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I am just going to pull my cloak up
+and put the hood up. That’s all.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys make your way back to The
+Leaky Tap. There, what little Horris had on him, a
+
+little bit of change and materials to leave, is
+ready to go. Beau and Jester are propped and ready
+
+as well, I assume? What do you guys do?
+
+SAM: Should we go on our mission or should we get
+rid of Horris?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we’re dropping him off.
+
+LIAM: Well, Horris is part of the mission.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah we’ll be dropping him off at The
+Evening Nip.
+
+LIAM: We should go. Let’s make hay while the sun
+shines.
+
+SAM: Drop off Horris and then go. Do we know where
+we’re going for this mission?
+
+TRAVIS: A mile out of town.
+
+MARISHA: The Evening Nip, and then they’re going
+to escort us out.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll be blinded.
+
+ASHLEY: Beau, Caleb got these for you.
+
+MARISHA: (gasps) Perfect! Thank you.
+
+ASHLEY: There were 20, but one of them fell out of
+the bag.
+
+LIAM: Yes, they were so heavy and I am so weak
+that I gave them to Yasha to carry. Here’s your change.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you. Why are you acting so weird
+about this?
+
+LIAM: I’m just weird in general.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks for the change. Thank you, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: One of them’s missing, but I think it fell
+out of the–
+
+SAM: It was an accident. There was nothing
+suspicious about it.
+
+ASHLEY: I think it fell out of the bag.
+
+TRAVIS: We should go. Okay. Horris, we’re going to
+try and get you out of here.
+
+MATT: “Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Whatever you
+need.”
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+LIAM: This is a Liam thing, not a Caleb thing.
+
+MATT: Yeah?
+
+LIAM: I’m just going to say, right now, where we
+are, Frumpkin, I’m telling him to follow us all,
+
+about 55 to 60 feet back behind us.
+
+MATT: Okay. Easy enough. All right. As you guys
+make your way towards The Evening Nip, Horris is
+
+looking a bit nervous, but does look around and
+seems genuinely very thankful. He’s like,
+
+“Seriously, this means a lot. To both me and
+Dolan. Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re welcome. And then I put a
+bag over his head and I say sorry, sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: I think that can probably wait until we
+are at The Evening Nip.
+
+MARISHA: Well, he can’t see where we’re going,
+right?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure he can. We just don’t want
+crownsguard thinking we’re walking around a hooded person.
+
+MARISHA: I figured we’re– All right.
+
+MATT: Probably hold on that until we get– We’ll
+say, for the purposes of this, you’re pretty close
+
+to The Evening Nip when you do this.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. We made it. Now’s the time.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay. Now over his head.
+
+LIAM: 6:00am, wake up!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re just pushing around a guy with a bag
+on his head. Hey! Nah, it’s cool.
+
+MATT: He’s had too much to drink?
+
+MARISHA: He’s going through a Jake Gyllenhaal
+phase.
+
+TRAVIS: (high pitched) His eyes are dilated.
+
+LIAM: Happy Halloween!
+
+MATT: You guys enter The Evening Nip. Clive is
+there at the end. “Hey. You’re a friend with a bag?”
+
+TRAVIS: We made arrangements with The Gentleman
+downstairs.
+
+MATT: “All right.” (grunts) He leads you to the
+back, shoves things off of the latch, pulls up the
+
+trapdoor, down the stairs, and you eventually make
+your way back into the tavern below, where
+
+Mollymauk is waiting nervously, drinking.
+
+LIAM: I don’t like the proximity here. Frumpkin’s
+gone, out there. Then once we’re in the
+
+speakeasy– sorry, I just ate a cracker.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin’s under a table.
+
+MATT: Okay. Gotcha. All right. As you guys head
+back down, Horris is like, “I trust you guys. I
+
+trust you.” You make your way down. The room is
+not as busy as it was last you left. There’s maybe
+
+six individuals in there. Most of them are the
+individuals who were previously posted with rifles
+
+or new individuals also posted with rifles up at
+the top. There is The Gentleman, finishing a meal
+
+at the table with Sorah, his bodyguard, at the
+side. “Ah! I see you’ve made it.” He sets the
+
+things down, pushes the plate to the side. “So I
+take it this is your contraband?”
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: “Very well. And you would wish this
+smuggling to head where? Our cleanest, to be fair,
+
+our cleanest means of smuggling out would be
+actually through the river after you pass through,
+
+as that leads us to the northern swamps of
+Berleben. And that would be probably one of the
+
+safest spaces still easily able to keep him out of
+sight and to a safe space out of the Crownsguard’s watch.”
+
+TRAVIS: Outstanding. We defer to your expertise.
+
+MATT: “Great. Then we’ll wait an hour after your
+passage forward and send your contraband on his
+
+way to safety with two individuals to escort him
+and lead him to civilization beyond the outskirts.
+
+Sound fair?”
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Sounds fair.
+
+MATT: “Very well. Take care of him, please.” They
+pull the shoulders of Horris back and Horris is
+
+like, “All right. Be safe.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s all right. Go with them. You’ll be
+fine.
+
+MATT: “And you know what? Kara and, we’ll say,
+Dweez. You go ahead and lead them down to the–”
+
+SAM: Dweez.
+
+MATT: “Lead them, blindfolded of course, through
+the underworks to docks and send them up the way
+
+to their agreed upon task.” You see Kara come back
+through one of the doors on the steps and behind,
+
+you see that creepy gnome from earlier sitting
+behind.
+
+MARISHA: Dweez.
+
+MATT: (creepy chuckling) Kara goes, “All right.
+Well,” and she pulls a few pieces of cloth. It
+
+looks like they’re used to moving individuals
+through, and they have already prepared blindfolds
+
+in place. She passes them out to you and instructs
+you all to put on a blindfold and take a hand.
+
+LIAM: As soon as the blindfold is on, I’m going to
+pass my sight and hearing over to Frumpkin.
+
+MARISHA: Nice!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a good call.
+
+LIAM: If it works.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll hold on to Caleb to make sure he can
+still walk.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Thanks, blind woman.
+
+MARISHA: Well, they said all hold hands.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Yeah. (boof)
+
+MATT: Who’s at the very front and who’s at the
+very back of this chain?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll stay at the front.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. Doing the best I can. Sorry.
+
+LIAM: (whack) Sorry!
+
+MATT: Fjord front.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry! Had to get an opportunity in.
+
+MATT: Who’s in the back?
+
+TRAVIS: Wouldn’t mind having some muscle up
+front.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll be behind Grog– Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go behind Yasha.
+
+MATT: Okay, who’s after Mollymauk?
+
+TRAVIS: Jester?
+
+MATT: Jester, all right. Who’s after Jester?
+
+MARISHA: I’m with Caleb in the back.
+
+MATT: Okay. Nott?
+
+SAM: I’ll hold onto Caleb as well.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s a good order.
+
+MATT: So there, and we have Frumpkin trailing
+behind at the very back. So Fjord, at the very
+
+front, Kara takes your hand and begins pulling,
+and in the very, very back, Caleb, this tiny gnome
+
+hand grabs your hand and goes, “(heh heh) Hold on.
+(heh heh).”
+
+LIAM: This is okay.
+
+MATT: They loop you through the room a few times
+to discombobulate you, and direction in the
+
+chamber, and pull you through in different ways,
+to prevent you from orienting where you were and
+
+where you’re going. Eventually you’re led through
+a doorway, you hear some things shift, and then
+
+turned around a bit, and then led down a ladder.
+The ladder goes down for about 20 or so feet
+
+before your feet touch some sort of soft dirt,
+packed dirt-type feeling. The sound of the music
+
+and chatter vanishes up ahead and you hear, as
+soon as you all head down the ladder, a latch
+
+close and lock above you.
+
+LIAM: How did my cat do?
+
+MATT: Your cat managed to– actually, make a
+stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, kitty! Come on, Frumpkin!
+
+MATT: For Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Oh shit.
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+LIAM: Total shit. Five!
+
+MATT: Five?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: As Frumpkin’s trying to trail behind, Dweez
+turns and goes, “(heh) No! (heh heh)” and puts a
+
+hand out and grabs Frumpkin by the scruff and
+holds Frumpkin up, and then throws Frumpkin back
+
+into the bar.
+
+LIAM: Okay. If I saw that, I would snap my fingers
+and make Frumpkin poof out.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to bite my tongue and bring
+Frumpkin back.
+
+MATT: Okay. Dweez is clutching the back of your
+hand and goes, (confused sound).
+
+LIAM: It’s just a nervous tic. I’m a nervous
+fellow. Sorry.
+
+MATT: (creepy laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: What the fuck?! (laughs)
+
+MATT: Okay. So you head back down. You are led
+down a tunnel. It weaves a bit. You turn to the
+
+right, down another tunnel for 100, 200, 300 feet.
+
+LIAM: (snaps fingers) Frumpkin back in.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin back in.
+
+LIAM: 50 feet behind.
+
+MATT: Right. You can see this a bit. These are
+tight, individual tunnels. It feels almost like a
+
+mine in the fact that it has occasionally a wood
+structure for support between it. A lot of it is
+
+packed with earth that’s been carved out.
+Eventually you’ll split off into two and you’ll
+
+see what looks to be a small resting chamber with
+another set of tables and a bunk. You go past
+
+another area and there’s occasional torchlight set
+up on parts of the wall. You can see a couple of
+
+shifty individuals that are in the process of
+stacking crates somewhere.
+
+LIAM: There’s other people down here doing shit as
+we walk by.
+
+MATT: Yeah. They’ll walk by you and occasionally
+look. One of them will stop and inspect and move
+
+on. No one seems to fuck with you at the minute
+because you’re with Kara. In fact, one of them
+
+seems to get close to you and looks and sees Dweez
+and goes (ugh) and just moves on. You do hear a
+
+noise, a strange like (guttural animal snorting)
+and you hear (whip crack) (animal grunting)
+
+echoing down the hall. You move around one spot
+and there’s one archway that Frumpkin passes by,
+
+looking down, and you can see there’s a pit, and
+there are a number of cages set up in there, about
+
+four of them, that have different creatures
+inside. It’s too low-lit for Frumpkin to really
+
+see from this distance what’s in there, but one of
+them is currently having a bit of a conniption fit
+
+and you see three cloaked figures that are on the
+outside. One of them is trying to whip elements of
+
+it that are coming at it; the other one is trying
+to prod it in the sides and it’s getting agitated.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) Jester has a question. She would
+like to know what it smells like in here.
+
+MATT: At this point, it smells like wet dirt and
+earth. That’s about it. It smells like a dank
+
+subterranean tunnel. As you pass by the creature
+smell, you can smell hints of dung, fresh and old,
+
+and some sort of pheromone, like a very strong
+pheromone that’s very unpleasant, the scent.
+
+Continuing on, you move through another tunnel.
+Another figure walks by and stops as you pass and
+
+watches you as you continue. Down another set of
+stairs, and then eventually, the echo begins to
+
+get a little louder. Your feet hit wood. Frumpkin
+can see this as you pass in. You’ve hit a dock.
+
+This is now a natural cavern. The moisture catches
+you first. What was initially a somewhat cavernous
+
+damp has now become very moist and you can hear
+the slight sound of a river moving through.
+
+Frumpkin can see this, too. There’s an entire
+underground river that is now curving past this
+
+entrance way, leading in two different directions.
+Along this river, you can see there are a few
+
+lanterns that are set up with this soft, greenish
+glow. They’re perpetually burning in certain areas
+
+and are bolted into the rock and stone. There on
+the side of this dock, you can see four different
+
+boats that are currently roped and tied to the
+edge there. There is a figure sitting on a stool
+
+who is taking a dagger and moving it on the edge
+of one of the wooden poles that is on the very
+
+outside end of the dock. At this point, all of
+your blindfolds are removed and you’ve come to the
+
+end of this part of the journey.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: Kara says, “Sorry about that, but you were
+respectful. Thank you.” She collects the
+
+blindfolds, and Dweez, who is still clutching your
+hand, lets go and goes (creepy chuckle).
+
+SAM: Ugh.
+
+MATT: Kara goes, “All right. Two of these ships
+are yours to use. You’re heading up that path
+
+there about a mile or so. It’s with the river,
+thankfully, so the stream will be carrying you
+
+through. A set of paddles to each of you. Whoever
+wants to helm that; that’s up to you. Pay
+
+attention: from what I’ve been told, you’ll see
+the change in the texture of the wall on the
+
+left-hand side traveling northward. Look for the
+small collapse on that end.”
+
+TRAVIS: Collapse in the wall.
+
+MATT: “Correct. Be spry. Sometimes some creatures
+do find their way living down here, so be ready to
+
+move past quickly or find a way to duck them if
+you can.”
+
+TRAVIS: We can take it from here.
+
+MATT: “All right. Good luck!”
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: You’ll be able to find your way back,
+right?
+
+MATT: “We’ll be fine.”
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not good at joking.
+
+MATT: The guy at the edge of the docks sits up and
+Kara goes, “The back two for these folks. Let them
+
+go. Gentleman’s orders.” He doesn’t say anything,
+just sits up. You see the hood that’s up, he pulls
+
+it back a bit and you can see there is this older,
+grizzled human with very short gray hair, deep
+
+scar across the back of his head that curves off
+to the top of where his receding hairline is. It’s
+
+just been very deep-set where the skin dimples
+heavily along the edge of the scar. He’s got this
+
+very scruffy gray and white beard. His head’s a
+bit sunk into his shoulders. He walks over to the
+
+edge and unties each of the boats and hands the
+rope to one of you. The first one goes to Fjord,
+
+and the other one just goes to Beau, goes back to
+his station and sits down, sticks his blade in the
+
+side of the wood and keeps wedging it in there.
+You get a better look up there and you can see
+
+this wood is splintered to shit on the top. This
+guy has been, over time, slowly pushing away at
+
+this wood for whatever amusement he needs to pass
+the time down here where he’s stationed.
+
+TRAVIS: These boats look like they’ll fit three to
+four each?
+
+MATT: These boats look like they’ll fit about four
+people each.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. All right. Two boats. Jester’s in
+mine. Yasha, you should go in the second boat.
+
+We’re going to need muscle in case we need to move
+fast.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I get in with Nott. In the Yasha boat.
+
+SAM: Who’s piloting our boat?
+
+MARISHA: Yasha’s one, and then Jester’s the
+other.
+
+SAM: She’s piloting– do you know how to drive a
+boat?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, we’ll find out.
+
+SAM: (scared noise)
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, I do.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay. You’re so needlessly scaring me for
+no reason!
+
+MATT: So we have Fjord, Jester, Molly, and Beau in
+one boat? And Yasha and Caleb and Nott in the
+
+other? Is that how it is?
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+LIAM: And I send away Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m going to place on my ring of water
+walking that I stole from Jester.
+
+TRAVIS: Is this a boat with like, two oars?
+
+MATT: Two oars on each side, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+MATT: You guys all get in. It rocks a bit as you
+all adjust your weight and find a place where the
+
+boat itself isn’t listing too far to one side or
+the other. The river current is pulling it along,
+
+so as soon as you step off, the last person
+holding the rope, they immediately start following
+
+the current of the river, which is not rapid, but
+it is moving at a fair speed. You all gather
+
+yourselves and follow it down, and as you
+progress, you notice those green lanterns that are
+
+lit only seem to cover the vicinity of that dock
+until, eventually, you are going into a pitch
+
+black cavern.
+
+LIAM: On our own?
+
+MATT: Hmm?
+
+LIAM: We are all on our own here right?
+
+MATT: You’re all alone.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Ja?
+
+TRAVIS: You want to do your–? Read my mind.
+
+LIAM: (poof poof)
+
+MARISHA: I bring out and put on the goggles.
+
+LIAM: I let two of the globules hover around the
+front of each boat. One at the front and one at
+
+the back of each boat.
+
+MATT: All right, so as the orbs–
+
+MARISHA: So romantic, you guys!
+
+LIAM and MATT: (singing) There you see her!
+
+MATT and MARISHA: (singing) There across the way!
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) Yah, yah, yah!
+
+LIAM: (singing) She’s got a giant sword, but who
+cares? You’ve got to ask her!
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Yah, yah, yah!
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, Beau. I pull out one of the holy
+water flasks. Think you know what to do with this?
+
+MARISHA: I think I do!
+
+TALIESIN: Just in case.
+
+MARISHA: I put it away.
+
+TALIESIN: Who do you think the other one should go
+to?
+
+MARISHA: Anyone who can beat face, but doesn’t
+have magic. Yasha, maybe? Nott?
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe Nott might be safer.
+
+SAM: What do I do with it?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re not in a boat with us.
+
+SAM: (shouting) What do I do with it!?
+
+MARISHA: You dip your ammunition in it.
+
+TALIESIN: This one you throw?
+
+MATT: This one you throw.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, this one is a throwing one?
+
+MATT: This isn’t an oil, this is water.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, never mind!
+
+TALIESIN: Know how to throw stuff?
+
+SAM: No, I’ve never thrown anything in my life.
+
+TALIESIN: If there was a basket for trash and you
+threw it–
+
+SAM: As he’s talking, I throw a gold coin at his
+head.
+
+MATT: Okay, roll a d20 and add your dexterity
+modifier.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, that’s exciting!
+
+SAM: That’s a d20, I mean, that’s a natural 20.
+
+TALIESIN: That doesn’t count! That’s cocked!
+
+LIAM: Sure it counts! It counts doubly as much!
+
+SAM: Do you want me to redo?
+
+LIAM: No!
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+SAM: Redo. Way less!
+
+TALIESIN: Way less!
+
+SAM: Dexterity what?
+
+MATT: Add your dexterity modifier.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: It goes right past; you hear it (splash)
+into the water below.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take that. So when we get into the
+boat together, I’m going to give you the other
+
+holy water flask.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “How big is the chamber we are
+traveling in?”
+
+MATT: The chamber seems to shift at times.
+Sometimes it squeezes in where it’s just the river
+
+and the edges of the tunnel at about 15 feet from
+side to side.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “With my darkvision, how high is
+the ceiling in here?”
+
+MATT: The ceiling is roughly 15 feet as well. 15
+to ten feet; sometimes it coasts down and becomes a
+
+bit lower. It is a natural river so–
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “I grab the edge of the boat, and
+I say: Oskar! Is there no echo?”
+
+MATT: (echoing) Oskar!
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “That was pretty good!”
+
+MATT: As you guys head deeper into the
+subterranean tunnels towards your destination,
+
+weapons at your side, prepared for whatever comes
+in the near future–
+
+LIAM: God damn, he’s going to end the game!
+
+ALL: No!
+
+MATT: We’re going to go ahead and end tonight’s
+game.
+
+LIAM: Damn it!
+
+MATT: We don’t have Laura here. We’ve had two
+episodes that went four plus hours. My back’s
+
+hurting a little.
+
+LIAM: Four more hours! Mimosas!
+
+TRAVIS: The people marathoning right now will be
+grateful to hear that.
+
+LIAM: Come on!
+
+TALIESIN: And you have a holy water now.
+
+LIAM: It’s like playing a video game for 30
+minutes. It’s so unsatisfying!
+
+MATT: We’ve been here for three hours!
+
+TRAVIS: I know it’s coming. I know stuff is
+coming.
+
+MATT: So yeah, before we get too deep into this,
+we’ll go ahead and pick up next week when Laura
+
+can join us.
+
+MARISHA: Feel better, Laura!
+
+TALIESIN: Please feel better.
+
+MATT: We’ll pick up from there. Once again guys,
+thank you so much for tuning in. Check out the
+
+awesomeness of 826LA and the stuff we are doing
+with them. Check out Pillars of Eternity 2 and the
+
+really cool stuff that we are doing with them! And
+yeah, we’ll be back into this next week. Until
+
+then guys, have a wonderful week, we love you, and
+is it Thursday yet?
+
+TRAVIS: No! Nein!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone and welcome tonight’s episode
+of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy ass
+
+voice actors sit around and play Dungeons &
+Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: We thankfully, and happily, have Laura back
+this week going on.
+
+LAURA: No more of you doing my voice, Matt?
+
+MATT: That wasn’t going to happen ever again. The
+internet has spoken, nobody wants that.
+
+MARISHA: I love the shade she threw you in her
+spare time.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, plenty of shade!
+
+LIAM: That’s not the Laura I know.
+
+LAURA: What? No!
+
+LIAM: We have the whole gang here.
+
+MATT: We do. I love it. Before we jump into the
+actual story of tonight’s game, we have some quick
+
+announcements to get through. First and foremost,
+we have two fantastic sponsors tonight. First up,
+
+we have for this evening, Archer: Danger Island.
+As a long-time fan of Archer, I’m excited that
+
+today’s episode is brought to you by Archer:
+Danger Island. That is the new season that
+
+premiers on FX Wednesday, April 25th at 10:00pm,
+so next week, check it out. It’ll start there.
+
+Season nine centers on the semi-functioning
+alcohol seaplane pilot, Sterling Archer, as we
+
+know, a lush on a lush South Pacific island of
+Mitimotu in 1939. While the rest of the world is
+
+concerned about the impending Second World War,
+Archer is only concerned with who is buying his
+
+next drink. Along with his trusty copilot, Pam,
+one of my favorite characters, Sterling must
+
+navigate quicksand, cannibals, super-intelligent
+monkeys, poison darts, and pirates. That’s right,
+
+folks. Somehow they jumped the shark into even
+better shark-infested waters.
+
+TRAVIS: We can get H. Jon Benjamin on this show,
+right?
+
+MATT: I’m all about it. I would love that. I love
+him so much. He’s so great.
+
+TALIESIN: Sometimes when you jump the shark,
+there’s just more sharks there.
+
+MATT: That’s great. There’s just a bunch of
+sharks. Stay turnt for the break. Catch a special
+
+video that Nerdist created in partnership with FX,
+creating our dream Archer: Danger Island board
+
+game at LDN to celebrate the new season. So check
+that out at the break. Our second sponsor and
+
+returning sponsor, our fantastic friends,
+eternally with this campaign, D&D Beyond.
+
+ALL: D&D Beyond!
+
+SAM: Yes! (stuttering)
+
+TRAVIS: False start, Redskins!
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond is raising money for our greatest,
+favorite charity, 826LA. They’re doing a big push
+
+now to raise money for this great organization
+that promotes literacy for young people everywhere
+
+and as part of the 826LA charity initiative, now
+that we’re way past our $10,000 tier, D&D Beyond
+
+has offered up the discount code “826LA” to get
+25% off the Legendary Bundle. The Legendary Bundle
+
+includes all the digital materials available at
+D&D Beyond, so check it out now and as part of
+
+what they announced last week, D&D Beyond is
+contributing $100 to 826LA for every natural one
+
+we roll and to honor that–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god. Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: What is that?!
+
+SAM: I’ve written a folk song.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t know you played.
+
+LIAM: Three episodes from now, he’s going to bring
+in a gospel band.
+
+SAM: I don’t play.
+
+MATT: This Cold War escalation is going to kill us
+all.
+
+SAM: I need participation for this one, guys.
+
+ASHLEY: You got it.
+
+SAM: When I call for it, you have to say the
+number one. This is all in honor of us rolling
+
+ones, right? (singing) ♪ We’re– ♪
+la la, hmm!
+
+(laughing)
+
+♪ We’re rolling ones,
+rolling them every night. We’re rolling ones,
+
+♪ rolling them every fight. How many times has
+Ashley been back? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: ♪ How many times has Caleb had a bath? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: ♪ How many testicles does Sam have? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: ♪ How many chords are there in this song? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: Two. ♪ What’s the past tense of win? ♪
+
+ALL: Won!
+
+SAM: ♪ What’s Obi Kenobi’s middle name? ♪
+
+ALL: Wan!
+
+SAM: ♪ What’s a synonym for pasty and pale? ♪
+
+LIAM: Wan!
+
+SAM: Thank you, Liam.
+
+♪ What will the Washington
+football team do when they face the Cowboys? ♪
+
+TRAVIS: (yelling) Lose!
+
+Lose!
+
+SAM: ♪ Ones, rolling them every night. ♪
+That’s it.
+
+(cheering and laughing)
+
+TRAVIS: Delete that shit!
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam! Thank you, D&D Beyond. Thank
+you, our friends at FX and Archer. Running off
+
+that, too, to go off to 826 initiative that we’re
+doing right now for this very special fundraising
+
+campaign. Many thanks to one of our fantastic
+Critters, Mark K., who’s offered to match every
+
+single dollar that you donate, up to $40,000. Many
+other companies are offering to match donations as
+
+well, so as much as you can do, it’s going to
+expand progressively, so thank you for everything
+
+there. If you want to check it out, we’ve unlocked
+a bunch of tiers and we have a few more to unlock
+
+as well. Go to 826la.org/criticalrole, you see
+where we are and how you can help with their
+
+fantastic organization. Once again, reminder,
+Twitch Prime! If you have Amazon Prime, you can
+
+connect your Twitch account and get, once a month,
+free. Go ahead and give your patronage to a Twitch
+
+channel of your choice. That’s the word I was
+looking for.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s every month, right? You can’t toggle
+it, so it’s something that keeps happening?
+
+MARISHA: No, you have to do it every month, It’s
+really obnoxious.
+
+LAURA: But it’s free!
+
+MARISHA: It’s free! Everyone asks if it supports
+us, we get a lesser cut or more cut, it supports
+
+us the exact same way.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Off that note, we have new Twitch
+emotes available for those who are subscribed to
+
+the channel. Based on the various tiers, there are
+plenty of new emotes with the Mighty Nein related,
+
+as well as the nine itself on the dice. Look for
+that in the subscription tiers. Critical Recap, of
+
+course, is up if you need a refresher for campaign
+two, our fantastic Dani Carr does refreshers every
+
+episode. They come out the Thursdays before the
+episode. I’m sure if you were here earlier, you
+
+saw this week’s refresher of last week’s episode.
+If you need to get caught up or get your friends
+
+caught up quickly to watch live, that’s how you do
+so, so look for it on YouTube under Critical
+
+Recap. Not right now. Talks Machina, of course,
+every Tuesday evening, our fantastic Brian W.
+
+Foster will be hosting. Next Tuesday at 7:00pm
+Pacific regarding tonight’s episode, so check that
+
+out. We will have a few cast members there to
+discuss the events that shall unfold before you
+
+later this evening. He also smells like cabbage.
+The podcast of episode 14 from last week is
+
+available for download for all fine podcast users
+out there. If you’re listening to the audio
+
+versions of it and you haven’t seen the last
+episode and you’re waiting for the podcast, well,
+
+you can listen to both and watch tonight. It would
+be really confusing, but you can. That’s an option
+
+now, so congratulations. I think that’s– Oh, the
+comic book that just came out. Issue six, which is
+
+fantastic. The final issue of our six episode arc
+of Vox Machina: Origins is available. Check it out
+
+if you haven’t yet, especially if you were waiting
+for them all to come out, now you can do that, and
+
+we’ll have news soon about an actual hard release
+you can hold in your hands. That’s exciting.
+
+LIAM: The glory of Grog in that issue.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Glory be to Grog.
+
+MATT: Don’t forget Pillars of Eternity II:
+Deadfire comes out very soon, in just a few weeks.
+
+For those who haven’t played the first Pillars of
+Eternity, you don’t have to. The sequel gets you
+
+pretty up to speed if you haven’t played, but if
+you have, you can carry over your save from the
+
+previous one. I recommend you play it if you have
+the time. This one is amazing-looking. They
+
+partnered with us, all of us get to voice cast
+members of the new game and there’s free DLC where
+
+you get to download portraits and voice sets of
+Vox Machina from Critical Role to use in the game.
+
+LIAM: They have just teased the first Critical
+Role Vox Machina portrait of Pickle.
+
+MATT: That’s right. Pike’s portrait was unveiled.
+
+SAM: The full portrait? Not the pixelated one?
+
+LIAM: Everyone else is pixelated, but Pickle has
+been revealed.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t know that.
+
+MATT: If you want to preorder it, you can preorder
+it at versusevil.com/criticalrole, and that’s also
+
+where you can see the portrait. Super excited for
+that. I think with that, folks, our announcements
+
+are done.
+
+LAURA: Wait, I’m coughing tonight a lot, so if I
+do, everybody just stop and stare at me. So if I
+
+get up and leave, that’s what happened. I don’t
+want to have a coughing fit on screen.
+
+TRAVIS: Or you pooped your pants.
+
+LAURA: Or I pooped my pants.
+
+LIAM: You’re allowed to do any of those things.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Thank you for the update, Laura.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, sorry, I just wanted to put that out
+there.
+
+MATT: No, it’s good. With that, guys, let’s go
+ahead and get started with tonight’s episode of
+
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back, everyone. That was pretty
+weak.
+
+TRAVIS: I know. I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: Last time we left off, The Mighty Nein had
+gone towards The Evening Nip, where they had
+
+finally crawled into the subterranean, hidden,
+basement/tavern where The Gentleman does his
+
+business. You had encountered Yasha who joined
+back up with the party. You had a brief discussion
+
+with this Gentleman, which led to a bit of
+card-sharkery from Fjord’s end, a fair played
+
+game, made quite a bit of money and earned his
+favor. There you discussed what was to be done
+
+with this new arrangement. He took some blood as
+it was required of him to make sure that he
+
+could ensure–
+
+LAURA: Wait, what?!
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Just kidding, I was watching.
+
+MATT: You were watching. You guys said that you
+were possibly looking for furthering some sort of
+
+relationship for business purposes, but for now
+you had an individual who needed to be smuggled
+
+out. He said it would be fine, but one favor
+requires one in return and to prove yourself both
+
+capable and he had heard some tales of which you
+had done within Zadash. He requested that you go
+
+and inspect this newly discovered buried ruin,
+this series of chambers that exists on the
+
+outskirts of their underground river escape
+towards Berleben and the Ounterloch. You went
+
+ahead and retrieved Horris, brought him back. He
+was then, supposedly it seems to be so, sent off
+
+and escorted out of the city, safely–
+
+LAURA: (quietly) They killed him.
+
+MATT: They totally killed him. They probably
+killed him.
+
+SAM: But these criminals promised us!
+
+MATT: (laughs) You found yourself down towards the
+subterranean docks to this river. By the way,
+
+through all of this Molly was having a mild panic
+attack about his story, encountering Cree and
+
+apparently being called the name Lucien and
+Nonagon.
+
+LAURA: Nonagon.
+
+MATT: Upon making your way to the docks, you were
+given two boats and utilizing them to move further
+
+downstream towards where the exterior of this ruin
+was discovered. You all gathered your supplies and
+
+by the glowing orbs of Caleb’s Dancing Lights
+ahead of you, we left off with you traversing
+
+deeper and deeper down the dark tunnel and river.
+
+SAM: Do we remember which boat we were on?
+
+LAURA: I remember that Fjord asked me to be in his
+boat.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t read into it.
+
+ASHLEY: I was with Caleb and Nott.
+
+MATT: Usually I do this just before the game and I
+totally forgot to.
+
+SAM: That’s okay! We can just do it now while
+people are watching you.
+
+MATT: That’s what I’m here for. That’s okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s like a real game!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the boats were–
+
+LIAM: Yasha, Caleb, Nott?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: And Beau, Jester, Fjord.
+
+SAM: Great! Done.
+
+LAURA: Nonagon! (singing) Na na na-na.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be in there, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: So Yasha, Caleb, Nott, and the other ship
+was Fjord, Jester, Beau, and Molly?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody have their stuff together?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, gosh. Our ship is way better than you
+guys’.
+
+LAURA: Our ship is so colorful.
+
+LIAM: Dinghy battle!
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) Whack!
+
+MATT: Heading down the tunnel, the two boats, the
+width of it is just enough to fit both of you and
+
+occasionally you have to pick one or the other as
+it begins to pinch a bit and then expand. I will
+
+say due to weight, unless somebody wants to
+actively paddle, the boat with Caleb, Yasha, and
+
+Nott will probably be taking the lead in those
+moments.
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Although, I think probably, Fjord, I should
+be the one paddling the boat because I’m a bit
+
+stronger than you.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, that’s why you’re on the boat.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, did you think it was for another
+reason?
+
+LAURA: No, I just– no!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, Yasha, are you paddling?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, so we would be at the front of the
+boat going–
+
+TALIESIN: The back of the boat would actually be
+up a bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Bow up!
+
+MATT: Each couple of splashing sounds that hit as
+the oars hit the water and the occasional crack of
+
+the water against the brook or a rock in the
+center, you being to maneuver your way through
+
+this dark tunnel with just the low light that
+you’ve been applying. It gets colder and colder
+
+the further down the tunnel you go and while it is
+moist, you begin to see your breath just in
+
+general this low in the ground.
+
+LIAM: Terrible.
+
+SAM: Jesus, Laura.
+
+TRAVIS: Literally 12.
+
+LAURA: I’m glad I’m back.
+
+MATT: We are too, Laura. We are, too. It would
+take about a mile journey to get to where they
+
+said this would be, so you have a few minutes. Is
+there anything you guys wish to do, prepare?
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh!
+
+SAM: Prepare? Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve got your holy oil, right?
+
+SAM: Me?
+
+LAURA: Are we going to fight undead things? What
+is going on?
+
+MATT: You have time, you’re traveling!
+
+SAM: I forgot. Did you give me holy oil?
+
+TALIESIN: I believe or was it–
+
+MARISHA: You gave me holy oil and you holy oil.
+
+MATT: Holy water, not holy oil.
+
+SAM: I have it, apparently. Well, what am I
+supposed to do with it?
+
+TALIESIN: You throw it at something that looks
+evil. It’s pretty simple.
+
+SAM: Should I dip my bolts into it?
+
+TALIESIN: It doesn’t work that way, sadly. It’s
+not–
+
+MARISHA: It’s a like a splash grenade.
+
+TALIESIN: Water balloon with glass.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: How’s the light in here, by the way?
+
+MATT: The only light you have is the light from
+Caleb’s Dancing Lights which he’s re-upping as
+
+soon as it completes its one minute cycle each
+time.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+LAURA: This is just like that scene in Tusk Love.
+
+SAM: Which scene?
+
+LAURA: The scene where the ship is sinking and
+Oskar and Genevieve have to paddle to shore!
+
+MARISHA: It was Guinevere.
+
+LAURA: Guinevere! That’s was it was. I remember
+Oskar a little more. Only Oskar was paddling in
+
+that one.
+
+LIAM: It is sad when ships sink.
+
+LAURA: It is.
+
+MARISHA: Where do you– why?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So you guys continue–
+
+LIAM: (Pigeon cooing)
+
+MATT: –continue down the river for a short time.
+The river splits up for a bit and actually divides
+
+into two tunnels.
+
+SAM: Where are we going?
+
+LAURA: Should one of us go in one and one of us go
+in the other?
+
+LIAM: That seems not like a good idea.
+
+SAM: I know something about sailing! The right one
+is the bow and the left one is the stern.
+
+LAURA: Should we go in the bow or the stern?
+
+TRAVIS: Is there water running to the left or the
+right? Does it look like it picks up current on
+
+either side?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage
+because of the low light.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that’s a fucking two. That’s four.
+Yeah.
+
+MATT: Hard to tell at this distance and it’s
+coming up quickly.
+
+LAURA: Can we feel more wind coming from either
+side?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Wind.
+
+TRAVIS: Water!
+
+MARISHA: Heart!
+
+LAURA: 21!
+
+MATT: 21? It does not appear that the wind is
+picking up one way or the other, but it’s
+
+approaching very quickly.
+
+TALIESIN: Is the general feeling of supernatural
+unease coming from either of the– or any signs
+
+of–? I know that we’re going to be facing
+probably some will-o’-wisps or something like that.
+
+LAURA: You should row backwards too, Yasha.
+
+MATT: I mean, the general sense of ominous dark,
+future tunnel, but there’s nothing supernatural
+
+about the darkness ahead of you.
+
+TRAVIS: Anyone have a preference?
+
+TALIESIN: Any sound coming from either of them?
+
+MARISHA: Do I notice any textures on any walls?
+They talked about the north side of the wall being
+
+more textured and having a pattern.
+
+MATT: That being what gave them the idea that
+that’s where this is. That’s where the entrance to
+
+this–
+
+TRAVIS: We’re heading east right?
+
+MATT: You guys are heading east, yeah, a northeast
+path.
+
+SAM: Well, we’re in the lead boat and Yasha’s
+paddling, so Yasha, it’s up to you!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m rowing back.
+
+LAURA: I think left.
+
+MARISHA: Try the north side.
+
+ASHLEY: I go right. No, I’m just kidding! I’ll go
+to the left.
+
+MATT: So as you’re paddling backwards, Yasha
+adjusts the oar and changes the trajectory of the
+
+boat and heads it toward the left path. Do you
+follow suit?
+
+LAURA: Should I follow them?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Good oar work!
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a steering wheel!
+
+LIAM: Nice, Carrot Top, nice.
+
+MARISHA: We’re on a jet ski; this is great!
+
+MATT: Most spastic rowing partner ever. Heading
+down the water path does pick up a little speed
+
+and seems to dip suddenly before picking up with a
+mild splash but you catch yourself.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) We’re on Pirates of the
+Caribbean!
+
+MATT: It slows down a little bit and you start
+seeing a few rocks that break the surface and you
+
+have to maneuver around them. One you push off
+with the oar to make sure that your boat doesn’t
+
+strike it. You’re not going fast enough to where
+it would damage the actual boat, but it could list
+
+and get stuck on it if you were to not be careful.
+You push off, thankfully because you both have
+
+light sources here.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, can you use your oar to see how deep
+we are? Does it touch bottom?
+
+MATT: Okay, it gets just to the very edge of the
+oar before it touches bottom.
+
+SAM: How long are the oars?
+
+MATT: The oars are about five feet long.
+
+LAURA: So you’d be fucked.
+
+SAM: Thanks.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you swim? Can you swim, Nott?
+
+SAM: No! What?!
+
+ASHLEY: Well, you could get on my shoulders if
+you–
+
+SAM: I’m not going to get in the water, don’t
+worry!
+
+MARISHA: Have you been practicing any of the
+techniques that we tried out?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ve been practicing one technique!
+It’s called wearing this ring of water walking!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Sure, that’s good!
+
+SAM: Tried and true!
+
+LIAM: Unfucked!
+
+TALIESIN: You could literally be walking along
+side of the boat.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s a good idea! Can I ghost ride the
+whip?
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, you could be stealthing ahead at
+this moment.
+
+SAM: Oh! I’m going to gingerly–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god, please.
+
+SAM: Just ghost ride.
+
+TRAVIS: Barefoot ski.
+
+SAM: Barefoot it onto the water and see what
+happens.
+
+MATT: On the water? Okay. As you reach over the
+edge of the boat and slowly lower your tiny goblin
+
+feet across the surface, breaking the water (water
+splashing).
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a general dexterity check
+for me, please.
+
+SAM: Ooh, not good, but it’s dexterity, so six?
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: This is fun! Hand me a rope, I’ll water ski!
+
+MATT: As you’re so entranced by this, you glance
+down just in time to see one of those stones
+
+that’s protruding from the river seems to have
+come out of nowhere. Before you have a minute to
+
+punch off, it hits you across the knee and bruises
+the heck out of it. Your whole leg starts
+
+throbbing and you’re like, “Ah!” So your skiing is
+now (crashing splashes) underneath.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll try to pull myself back up?
+
+MATT: All right, it takes you a moment and Caleb,
+you go and help get Nott up onto the boat, but as
+
+you do, a little water logged, the water splashed
+over your face a bit.
+
+SAM: Jesus, that’s an intense water ski.
+
+MATT: Because at that moment the lights go out. As
+soon as you pull Nott up into the ship, there’s a
+
+brief moment where Nott breathes and looks back up
+with a smile about to say thank you before you
+
+see, out of the corner of your eye, one of the
+stalagmites at the top of the ceiling detach,
+
+float down and open up, almost like an umbrella
+before it lands and collapses on top of Nott.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) It’s just like the rug!
+
+SAM: Ah! What happened? What’s going on?
+
+MATT: With advantage because it was with a
+surprise attack on that one, so that would be a 19
+
+to hit. What’s your armor class?
+
+SAM: Of course that hits. Yes.
+
+MATT: All right, Nott. That is five points of
+bludgeoning damage and it is attached to you. You
+
+now see a pitch black and gray spined octopus-type
+creature, that looks from the exterior like any
+
+other part of the cavern wall, but has these deep
+sunk red eyes at the top of its base and it’s
+
+completely wrapped around the top of Nott, and is
+currently crushing down on top of her. I need you
+
+all to roll initiative.
+
+LIAM: In the boat?
+
+LAURA: Oh my god!
+
+LIAM: I had these miniatures. I forget what
+they’re called.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, that’s terrible!
+
+LIAM: I dropped my Colville meteorite!
+
+SAM: We’re already in it? We just started!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the best!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s cool!
+
+LIAM: Oh! I got a 20!
+
+MATT: It doesn’t count if it’s on the floor, dude.
+
+TRAVIS: There are limits!
+
+MATT: There are!
+
+LIAM: Oh, I got a one!
+
+SAM: Wait, we’re rolling ones! That’s $100!
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: I rolled a one, too!
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: That’s $300?
+
+SAM: Two.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, did you roll a one?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, okay, sorry. I got excited.
+
+LIAM: The 20 would have been nice though.
+
+ASHLEY and TRAVIS: What is math?
+
+MATT: Molly, roughly where are you on this board?
+
+TALIESIN: I would assume I’m in the middle.
+
+MATT: All right. Fjord and Beau in that order?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s good.
+
+LIAM: That’s so cool!
+
+ASHLEY: This is awesome!
+
+LAURA: Oh, cool. I like the cat just like blah.
+
+MATT: You now see this entity has fallen and
+latched on to Nott. So in that degree.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+TRAVIS: Uh oh.
+
+MATT: All right, 25 to 20?
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody.
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+SAM: Wow. That’s it? We suck.
+
+MARISHA: We did bad.
+
+LAURA: We rolled real bad.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Hold on, 15 to ten.
+
+SAM: Ten. Whoa. What? You guys are all single
+digits? Oh boy!
+
+ASHLEY: I always roll shit initiative.
+
+SAM: You do. You really do.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know what–
+
+MATT: Historically.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten to five.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Beau at nine.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MATT: Wow! Molly, Jester. That’s everybody,
+right?
+
+ASHLEY: Four. I rolled four.
+
+MATT: And four.
+
+LIAM: Und Ein.
+
+LAURA: You don’t have any initiative?
+
+LIAM: Oh, do I? Oh sure, two.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so you rolled a three. Good job.
+
+LIAM: No, no. Plus one, so now it’s two.
+
+ASHLEY: What’s a two in German?
+
+LIAM, TALIESIN, and LAURA: Zwei.
+
+SAM, TALIESIN, LAURA: Eins, zwei, drei.
+
+SAM: That’s it. That’s all the numbers in German.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re holding up the rear?
+
+LIAM: Ja. Of course.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god, I’m first?
+
+MATT: First and foremost, Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, right, okay.
+
+MATT: It has completely attached itself, and the
+end of its tendrils coming to these pointed hook
+
+protrusions, this thick flesh webbing between each
+of these tentacles that form the umbrella-type
+
+shape, have all engulfed most of Nott, and you
+hear the muffled (muffled yelling) from within,
+
+and the little bit of the feet trying desperately
+to hold onto the boat and maintain balance.
+
+TRAVIS: Jesus. Do I have a clear line of sight to
+Nott and octopus fuck?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I won’t hit Caleb, right?
+
+MATT: Probably not. You know what you’re doing.
+
+LAURA: It looks like no, I’m seeing your angle.
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty sturdy though, so I wouldn’t
+sweat it.
+
+TRAVIS: As I’m looking, is it Nott and then
+octopus behind it, or is it enveloping him so I can’t–
+
+MATT: No, it’s enveloped, and is currently wrapped
+around.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. I’m going to send an Eldritch
+Blast towards the octopus.
+
+SAM, ASHLEY, and TALIESIN: (muffled yelling)
+
+SAM: Not again!
+
+LAURA: Oh, my glasses are in my car, shit.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 1d10. That is eight points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage, nice. Does that end
+your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+SAM: Do I take any of that?
+
+MATT: No, you do not.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, with my bonus action, can I cast
+Hex on umbrella fuck?
+
+MATT: You cannot, unfortunately, because– Well,
+no, because Eldritch Blast is a cantrip, so you can.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Yes you can.
+
+TRAVIS: Woo! That’s 1d–
+
+MATT: Well, you would have had to have done that
+first.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. That’s on the next thing,
+right.
+
+MATT: Correct. But next time it gets hit by you,
+you can add extra damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Copy that.
+
+MATT: Okay. That finishes your go.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s like Hunter’s Mark.
+
+MATT: Now it’s their turn. Being attached to
+there, the strange darkmantle-like beast–
+
+TRAVIS: Can it have disadvantage on strength
+checks?
+
+MATT: It can, sure.
+
+TRAVIS: I never said that before. I got to
+remember.
+
+MATT: Yep. There you go. strength checks it is.
+All right.
+
+MARISHA: It’s okay. It’s not that big a deal.
+
+MATT: You watch as it begins to slowly crush
+around Nott, instead its eyes flash red, and you
+
+watch as a familiar-looking orb of blackness
+emanates from it, completely filling this space
+
+with darkness. So at the moment, everyone on that
+boat is blind.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, I don’t think I can– since I have
+danger sense, can I be blinded?
+
+MATT: You can be blinded, but you have advantage
+on dexterity saving throws against things that you see.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: But do you see it?
+
+MARISHA: So it did like an ink cloud.
+
+MATT: Essentially, but a magical darkness that
+radiates outside of it. Another one going towards
+
+the source of the beam of light that had emitted
+and damaged its ally sweeps down towards Fjord and
+
+attempts to go ahead and wrap around.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit!
+
+MATT: That is going to be 21 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That definitely hit.
+
+MATT: You take five points of bludgeoning damage
+as well–
+
+LAURA: Wait, another one came down on Fjord?
+
+MATT: And attaches itself to Fjord, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no.
+
+TRAVIS: (muffled yelling)
+
+LAURA: It’s going to make us blind too, we got to
+kill it quick.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Can I try to get out of the grapple? Is that
+a thing that I can do?
+
+MATT: You can attempt to. You have to make a
+strength check to do so.
+
+SAM: All right. I will push with all my little
+might against the creepy– Ooh! Just a strength check?
+
+MATT: Yes, a strength check.
+
+SAM: 18!
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’ll do it. So you manage to break
+free from its grasp.
+
+SAM: (yell) That’s my action.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: I can’t see it.
+
+MATT: Nope, it is just darkness. You push it off
+of you, and you still have nothing before you. You
+
+didn’t see the darkness emit from it, you’ve just
+thrown it off and you’re still blind. It’s a
+
+little off putting to you at the moment.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll spend the rest of my turn trying
+to figure out if that was caused by just touching
+
+the water. Because I’m not sure what happened.
+
+MATT: Okay, you throw the creature off, whatever
+is on you, and it’s just darkness around you. You
+
+start reaching out for some sort of sign of
+something in your vicinity.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: Are you holding an action?
+
+SAM: I used my action to–
+
+MATT: No, that’s right. That’s your turn. That
+brings us to Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to go (mild screaming)
+and do a straight whack on it. Sorry Fjord, it’s
+
+on you! Ooh, that’s a natural 19. 25.
+
+MATT: 25 hits, roll damage.
+
+SAM: We’ll remember where they are. It’s fine,
+just leave them.
+
+MARISHA: What is it? 1d– that’s not great, six
+damage.
+
+MATT: Six point of damage to that one, all right.
+It’s glomped onto Fjord’s head, the rest of it
+
+pulling and wrapping into the insides of his
+armor. You hit it just above where– you feel the
+
+impact, Fjord, but it’s mostly absorbed by the
+strange, rubbery, flesh exterior of this creature.
+
+TRAVIS: Ow.
+
+MARISHA: Did I hurt you?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! (whack) I deck him right across the
+face. Yeah, I’ll take that, 16.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit, roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like getting punched with a
+motorcycle helmet on.
+
+MARISHA: Seven damage.
+
+MATT: Nice. You clock both this creature and Fjord
+across the chin. No damage to you, Fjord, but you
+
+are a bit dizzy from the impact in the darkness
+around your face.
+
+TRAVIS: (strained) I feel like that was personal.
+
+MARISHA: Ah, one more. I’m going to do flurry of
+blows.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+TRAVIS: (impacts)
+
+MATT: Essentially.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural 17. That’s a four, eight
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight damage, nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Sick, good turn.
+
+LIAM: We are level four. Eight damage, sick.
+
+MATT: After you deck the darkmantle across the
+face and Fjord, you backhand with a full back fist
+
+blow to the side. You see it almost detach, and
+it’s looking like it’s scrambling to hold on. That
+
+finishes your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+TRAVIS: I am definitely woozy.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take out my swords, and
+just I’m going to try and cleave some of these
+
+tentacles off. See if I can start to get it to
+lose its grip. I’m going to take my first shot.
+
+I’m going to stop saying that. That’s a 23 to
+hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: (gunshot)
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. Nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: As you take the blade and swing, you cut
+down pretty close to where Fjord’s head is. As you
+
+cleave through the body actually splits, revealing
+Fjord’s face. As it limply falls off into the
+
+water slinking into the sludge.
+
+LAURA: It looks like he was being born.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome! We probably should head towards
+the other one.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: That ends my turn.
+
+MATT: All righty, that brings us to Jester.
+
+LAURA: I can’t see anything on the other side.
+
+MATT: No, you can just see darkness.
+
+TALIESIN: But we can boat in there.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I mean I will move the boat closer
+up.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that was terrible, six.
+
+MATT: Six, okay. You struggle, it doesn’t seem to
+get purchase. You’re confused by this.
+
+LAURA: I can’t move the boat, y'all.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s a lot going on in the moment and
+you’re trying to figure out what to do. You don’t
+
+quite have the gumption to get it catching up
+relatively fast. So it goes just five feet.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Does that count as an action or a
+movement?
+
+MATT: That would be your action on that one.
+
+LAURA: Cool.
+
+SAM: Welcome back, Laura.
+
+LAURA: Thanks. This is fun, guys. All right, then
+I’m going to save–
+
+LIAM: Mistress of the Hunt.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. That’s what I got, I guess. Yeah.
+Sweet.
+
+MATT: That ends Jester’s turn. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, well, I guess I wouldn’t know this.
+His went into the water?
+
+MATT: Well no, you have no idea.
+
+LAURA: Did you hear a splash?
+
+MATT: You watched as it slip around Nott and
+darkness envelop it, and that’s all you know.
+
+TRAVIS: You heard a (yelp) (impact).
+
+MATT: You know the general direction of where it
+is.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, can I use the Light cantrip and see if I
+can make some light in the darkness? Or wait.
+
+Because I’m a Light Bearer.
+
+MATT: You are. You spend your action to create the
+Light cantrip. You watch as it flickers for a
+
+second and the darkness consumes the light. The
+spell has no effect.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I don’t know if I can still do this
+as a bonus action. Can I try to slowly move us a
+
+little forward?
+
+MATT: Yeah, if you want to. Well, that’s an action
+to do that, technically, so you couldn’t. You used
+
+your action to do the Light cantrip,
+unfortunately.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: So that’s your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah that’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Okay, Caleb you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I went from being able to see almost nothing
+to seeing nothing. I heard Nott get scholpped in
+
+and then I heard some cry. So I raise up the glove
+of blasting and I’m going to fire at where I think
+
+this thing is.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: I’m dead.
+
+MATT: That’s Scorching Ray for that?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Three attacks.
+
+LIAM: Three strikes at disadvantage.
+
+MATT: All at disadvantage because you’re blind.
+
+LIAM: That’s correct. Okay, good. For the first is
+16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, let me do them all. 11.
+
+MATT: 11 just hits.
+
+LIAM: Und 15.
+
+MATT: All three hit, actually, even blinded.
+
+LIAM: (frantic noises) Plus that is ten. The total
+is 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage. All together, right?
+Nope. It loses concentration on its darkness.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: But is still standing. You watch as the
+darkness flickers out of the way. There’s flames
+
+burning around the outside and three giant singe
+marks on the outside of its rubbery skin. It’s
+
+floating in the air there for a second before it’s
+going back in for a swoop against the one who
+
+recently singed it.
+
+LIAM: Okay, before it hits me, I’ll say I sit down
+on the bench and just go (whimper).
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn, top of the
+round. The boats continue further downstream.
+
+TALIESIN: What are those things on the side?
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+SAM: Those are just rocks.
+
+LAURA: That’s not a rock.
+
+SAM: It’s fine. It’s rocks.
+
+MATT: Top of the round, Fjord, it’s you.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to cast Armor of Agathys on
+myself.
+
+MATT: You watch as the moisture from the air and
+some of the water droplets from the river, from
+
+the splashing of the boat suddenly stick up and
+congeal in ice form around the outside of Fjord’s body.
+
+TRAVIS: Hex is still maintained on that bastard,
+right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: So I can roll 1d6. Or do I, for the– I
+cast Hex on the one that was on Nott.
+
+MATT: It only takes the 1d6 damage when you damage
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, right.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. Another one swoops
+down and is going to attempt to envelope the one
+
+that scorched its ally.
+
+LIAM: I am a monk, it’s fine.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 14 to hit.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, of course it hits.
+
+MATT: You take nine points of bludgeoning damage
+and it is attached to you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah that’s wunderbar.
+
+MATT: The one that is still existing is going to
+attempt to attach to you once again, Nott.
+
+SAM: No!
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 12 to hit.
+
+SAM: Does not.
+
+MATT: That is a miss.
+
+LAURA and SAM: Yay.
+
+LAURA: Things are looking up, you guys.
+
+MATT: That ends their go. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I will, seeing the one on Caleb, spin around
+and fire my hand crossbow at that one.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and make an attack with
+disadvantage, because you are in melee with
+
+another creature. The other creature that tried to
+grapple you is right up against you. So it is
+
+still harrying you when you’re trying to fire.
+
+SAM: Disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Does she get sneak attack since I’m adjacent
+to that?
+
+MATT: Yeah, if she hits.
+
+SAM: It was going to be good, ten.
+
+MATT: Ten does not hit, unfortunately. You attempt
+to fire and at the last minute it shifts out of
+
+the way. You can see Caleb’s chest exposed to
+where you were aiming, and you pull back and fire
+
+wide off into the darkness.
+
+SAM: Then I’ll turn again and shoot with my bonus
+action at the one that I’m engaged with.
+
+MATT All righty.
+
+SAM: Disadvantage, right?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: So 20 to hit.
+
+MATT: 20 does hit. You don’t get sneak attack,
+however, because this guy is not engaged with
+
+anyone else. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: I will still say: Get off of my boat. I cause
+two points of damage. Oh wait, no! Six points of damage.
+
+LIAM: One question, is Frumpkin by the thing?
+Because Frumpkin is an ally.
+
+MATT: I don’t know if Frumpkin–
+
+LIAM: I know that I have read that Frumpkin can
+help me give me advantage.
+
+SAM: But he is not engaged, is he?
+
+LIAM: Whatever you want.
+
+MATT: I’d say for now, given the fact that
+Frumpkin is in a small boat and the creature is
+
+flying up, I would not consider it harrying the
+entity enough to grant sneak attack. But it
+
+doesn’t matter. Because that was enough to finish
+it off. It had already been damaged quite a bit in
+
+the previous round. So as you fire your final
+crossbolt into that one it (impact) (splash) into
+
+the river below. You watch as it sink below the
+water as your boat begins to scoot by (scraping
+
+noise) and begins grinding against this center
+stone here in the middle of the river. It’s just
+
+barely making its way around. Finishing that,
+that’s the end of Nott’s turn, Beau you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, is the one still next to me? That
+was attacking Fjord.
+
+MATT: No, that one has been slaughtered. There is
+one on Caleb over there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, there’s one on Caleb. He’s still on
+top of him?
+
+MATT: It is currently attached to him around his
+head, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’m probably not within five feet.
+
+MATT: Nope. There’s probably about a ten foot
+distance between you and the other boat.
+
+LAURA: Leap for it!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I’m going
+to do some cool monk shit! I’m going to–
+
+SAM: Why do I get disadvantage?
+
+LAURA: Because it’s a ranged attack.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but I ignore all disadvantage with my
+Crossbow Expert feat.
+
+MATT: Oh that’s right, because you got a feat for
+it.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So you would not have disadvantage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+SAM: Well, next time.
+
+MATT: Well, we’ll let you roll damage for Caleb’s
+because it did work.
+
+SAM: That’s going to be a lot of damage.
+
+MATT: I forgot that you had gotten that feat. Go
+for it.
+
+SAM: Wait, I don’t even remember what I rolled.
+
+MATT: The first one was high the second one was
+low.
+
+SAM: All right. That’s a lot. It’s 20 points of
+damage.
+
+LIAM: I would say leave me in that motherfucker.
+
+TALIESIN: That was an intense roll right now.
+
+SAM: It’s okay, I don’t need it.
+
+MATT: So with that one moment as Beau’s preparing,
+you manage one blast of the crossbow that strikes
+
+square into one of the eyes of the creature. You
+hear this this strange guttural pain sound as it’s
+
+still holding onto Caleb, but seems to have taken
+a big hit. On your turn, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: (confused battle cry) Continuing on, I’m
+going to leap across and see if I can do a jump
+
+and a slap with the staff on top.
+
+MATT: For the purposes of this, roll an acrobatics
+check. This is a more parkour off of the boat
+
+using the weight.
+
+LIAM: This is your jam.
+
+MARISHA: Parkour.
+
+TRAVIS: The boat goes (bobbing in water).
+
+LIAM: Get it, Altaïr.
+
+TRAVIS: Sail!
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: So you jump, skip off the ground and–
+
+LAURA: Skip off the ground?!
+
+MATT: On the small stone in the center there and
+use the momentum from that with the staff
+
+swinging, go ahead make your strike against the–
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to swing upwards. Yep, that’s a
+natural 16, so 21. I don’t know why I rolled that
+
+die, that’s not necessary. Nine damage.
+
+MATT: Nine damage. With that, you manage to slap
+that one into two separate pieces that go slapping
+
+and sliding against the wall and splatter and
+begin to slick down the side of the cavern exterior.
+
+MARISHA: I take my staff and I wipe it on Caleb.
+
+MATT: Your hair’s slick back from the blood from
+the impact and the wound that gets taken.
+
+LIAM: In a split second before when I heard a
+blunt (impact): Oh, that was Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, are you all right? Your head’s
+okay?
+
+LIAM: I’m feeling pretty good. I feel
+streamlined.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the oil’s working for you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I clean up well.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, very dapper.
+
+MATT: Ending Beau’s turn, Beau, Caleb, Molly, and
+Jester you hear this mild rumble, and you watch as
+
+from the somewhat rocky outside of the two sides
+of the wall these large figures begin to burst
+
+from the exterior and begin to slowly make their
+way towards the edge. So their action and movement
+
+puts them right up to there, and this one moves up
+to there.
+
+LAURA: Earth elementals?
+
+MATT: You see them covered in greenish algae and
+vines. They look like they’re made of earth and
+
+stone. You’re not certain what the nature of what
+they are. They’re bottom heavy and crawling across
+
+the ground and pulling their body forward. You’re
+not even sure if they have feet.
+
+LAURA: (screaming)
+
+SAM: Good gravy.
+
+MATT: They’re coming up to the edge of the river.
+That’s going to end Beau’s turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: You did a–
+
+TALIESIN: Sure, I know. Are they within striking
+distance?
+
+MATT: They’re not yet, no.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to hold my action until
+something’s within striking distance.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I will also say I’m at least going to
+back up to the side of the boat where I’m far
+
+enough away from that thing as humanly possible.
+
+MATT: Okay. Well, that’s where Jester is.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, well fine.
+
+MATT: So you’re like, “Oh!” Jester still has the
+oars in place. Does that finish your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty, Jester your turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh. Well, I hate to use my action to
+do anything else, but I should probably try to get
+
+away from the thing that’s on the shore, huh?
+
+SAM: You’re going to action row?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to action row!
+
+MATT: All right, make a strength check please.
+
+LAURA: Strength check!
+
+SAM: Oar Master.
+
+LAURA: That’s a good one. That’s just Jester’s
+strength. That’s a 22.
+
+MATT: Oh shit! Jester is power rowing as it begins
+to (motor whir) down the river to about there.
+
+LIAM: Half of the skiff.
+
+TRAVIS: Got to go!
+
+MATT: You scoot by. The entity gets to the edge of
+the water and then watches it pass, its body
+
+shifting. It looks powerful, but it looks
+slow-moving.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my bonus action to turn
+around and go: Eat shit, rock face!
+
+MATT: Perfect. That ends Jester’s turn. Yasha,
+you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: All right. Yeah, I’m going to try to–
+
+MATT: Maneuver around?
+
+ASHLEY: Maneuver around.
+
+SAM: Smash into their boat?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a strength check.
+
+LIAM: Still the only light in here are my four
+globules, correct?
+
+MATT: Correct, which actually you had to roll a
+concentration check for.
+
+LAURA: Oh god.
+
+LIAM: Not so good.
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+LIAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: All right, so it is dark in here. Remember
+the Dancing Lights is concentration.
+
+SAM: Can we see anything?
+
+MATT: No, it is now absolutely pitch dark.
+
+LAURA: It’s pitch dark?!
+
+MATT: It’s pitch dark, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Didn’t you cast a Light spell?
+
+ASHLEY: I did.
+
+LAURA: It got eaten by the darkness.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it dispels the Light, unfortunately.
+It doesn’t encapsulate it. It dispels it. So you
+
+begin rowing in the direction in the darkness.
+What’d you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+MATT: 19? Oh yeah. Without issue, you can row past
+and just begin to get beyond your friends there.
+
+LAURA: We crash into each other and get stuck. Ah,
+let me go!
+
+MATT: That’s going to end Yasha’s go. Caleb,
+you’re up.
+
+LIAM: (foomphs)
+
+MATT: Okay, a couple lights go up again. You guys
+go from darkness to immediate light again and
+
+behind you see the two creatures dragging
+themselves forward by their upper body.
+
+LIAM: I scrabble back and squish in with Nott at
+the front of the boat.
+
+MATT: Okay. Top of the round now. The water
+carries the boats further down–
+
+SAM: We might be okay.
+
+MATT: To about there.
+
+LAURA: I think those things are going to get us.
+
+MARISHA: Eventually.
+
+MATT: We’ll say here, with the movement of the
+creatures, actually, they can’t catch up, because
+
+you guys managed to push ahead.
+
+SAM: Action row!
+
+MARISHA: Full Winklevoss twins!
+
+MATT: For the purposes of cinematic movement on
+this, you guys continue to row as hard as you can,
+
+looking back with the light pushed towards the
+back to give a view. They are failing to keep up
+
+with both Yasha and Jester keeping the ships going
+at full speed. Eventually, they both stop and
+
+begin to back up, heading back towards the
+vicinity where they had originally emerged,
+
+disappearing into the shadows and darkness behind
+you.
+
+SAM: We’ll never know what they were, what they
+could have done!
+
+LAURA: I know. Actually, I’m feeling a little
+guilty for calling him– What if he just wanted to
+
+be friends?
+
+SAM: That’s true. Maybe they had information for
+us.
+
+MARISHA: You’re feeling guilty for calling him
+rock-face, but not for telling him to eat shit? I
+
+like that. That’s great.
+
+LIAM: Bye!
+
+MATT: As the sounds of the underground river begin
+to fill your senses once more, you settle and
+
+listen, and the quiet, aside from the slow rushing
+of the river, is all you hear. Who’s at the front
+
+of each boat keeping an eye out?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m at the front of ours.
+
+MATT: Fjord moves to the front of that boat. Who’s
+at the front of the other?
+
+LIAM: I guess I am.
+
+MATT: I would like you both to make a perception
+check, please.
+
+SAM: Crazy roll there, Travis.
+
+TRAVIS: Forget that. I get to reroll. That’s a
+natural one.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LIAM: 12.
+
+MATT: 12. Okay. As you guys are moving along,
+Fjord, mildly distracted, partially from the mist
+
+that is rising up from the ice and armor–
+
+MARISHA: Drinking a drink with cold ice.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you focus off to the side, and to the
+north side of the riverbank you see a shift in
+
+texture and a mild rock slide. Part of the wall
+has caved in a bit and is now pushing into part of
+
+the river.
+
+LIAM: Halt. Wait. Stop.
+
+SAM: He says to stop!
+
+LAURA: I’m trying!
+
+SAM: Action brakes!
+
+LAURA: (squeals)
+
+LIAM: Can you fight against the current for a
+moment?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we’re rowing backwards.
+
+LIAM: Okay, it’s going to get dark in here for a
+second, all right? But don’t worry. I drop the
+
+globules and I cast Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: Okay. So as you focus on– What’s the range
+on that one?
+
+LIAM: It is only 30 feet.
+
+MATT: 30 feet, okay. As you guys drift lazily down
+the course of the river–
+
+LAURA: Slowly.
+
+LIAM: I’m focusing, obviously, on the rock slide
+that you just described.
+
+MATT: As you move in that direction past the rock
+slide, you get a faint source of magic further
+
+beyond that rock slide.
+
+LIAM: Beyond the rock slide?
+
+MATT: You get a better look at it. Actually, you
+don’t get a better look because you don’t have light.
+
+LIAM: That’s on one side of the passage that we
+are in?
+
+MATT: That’s on the north side of it, yes.
+
+LIAM: If I crane my neck in the other direction,
+is there anything on that side?
+
+MATT: Nope. Nothing of magical essence on that
+side of the chamber.
+
+LIAM: All right, well, in the darkness, you hear:
+There is something of an arcane nature in the
+
+middle of those rocks that were ahead of us. What
+do you want to do? Do you want to go scrabbling in
+
+the dirt or do you want to keep going forward? It
+could be something beneficial or it could be terrible.
+
+SAM: Are there sides of the river?
+
+LIAM: Nobody can see anything right now.
+
+MATT: Those with darkvision get a better view as
+they get closer. At this point, you’ve gotten
+
+close enough for your magical essence so you get a
+view of this, Nott. You can see on the northern
+
+side of it, the cavern wall that has been slowly
+shifting through millennia of mineral buildup
+
+changes into bits of solid, smooth stone and a
+portion of it collapsed into what this rock slide is.
+
+MARISHA: We were looking for a collapse. A change
+in texture.
+
+SAM: We should go investigate.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: This is it.
+
+LAURA: Should we park the boats?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s park the boats.
+
+LAURA: Can we have some light?
+
+LIAM: Does anyone have a torch? I would prefer to
+keep this up for the time being.
+
+ASHLEY: I pull out a torch.
+
+MATT: Yasha ignites a torch. The fire burns
+brightly and the interior of this chamber now is
+
+very easy to see the details around you. The water
+is still cruising by as you guys begin to make
+
+your way up along the shore a bit, stepping off to
+the side of the river and pulling the boats up on
+
+the rocks. They’re not going to continue to be
+carried down by the stream.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take my old little dry flowers
+and just stick them in his gross, ichor-y hair.
+
+LIAM: Do I look like The Gentleman right now?
+
+MATT: The Gentleman on hard times, maybe.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: A little less blue.
+
+LIAM: It’s not that weird.
+
+MATT: Past about a roughly ten-foot wide portion
+of this wall that has fallen in, part of the
+
+ceiling has come in and above it is just dirt.
+It’s loose rock and pieces of well-carved stone
+
+and masonry that have been destroyed, apparently
+upon exiting whatever was beyond this wall.
+
+LIAM: Can I see what was giving me the arcane
+signature?
+
+MATT: You feel it on the opposite, the other side
+of this rock slide.
+
+LAURA: Can we clear out these rocks?
+
+TRAVIS: I think we just need to get closer.
+
+LAURA: But we’re right here.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. What about you two beefcakes? Can you
+move these stones out of the way?
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: (grunting)
+
+MATT: Both of you make athletics checks to get
+through the endurance of pulling these stones out
+
+of the way.
+
+LAURA: Well, that’s totally cocked, that was
+terrible. Athletics?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: Between the two of you, about ten minutes
+pass as you watch your two beefy companions, one
+
+after another, moving large stones and rocks,
+scooping them out of the way, some spilling and
+
+rolling into the water, other ones being pushed
+off to the side.
+
+LIAM: Question, because the spell that I cast only
+lasts ten minutes, somewhere around the eight or
+
+nine minute mark, do I see– You said it was on
+the other side of the rock slide, so are they
+
+uncovering anything before the spell is gone?
+
+MATT: I’d say about the time it begins to fade,
+you guys begin to see a faint purple glow through
+
+a breach of this slide leading into the next
+chamber. It’s a very faint pinkish purple light source.
+
+SAM: Like coming from another room?
+
+MATT: Coming from that room. It looks like there’s
+a room or a chamber beyond.
+
+LIAM: So not a door, but just a passageway?
+
+MATT: You’re just starting to expose it a bit. All
+you’re seeing is the light and stone on the
+
+opposite end. But there is a gap. There’s about a
+ten-foot space between where you’re starting to
+
+see this and where you see the light reflecting on
+whatever this other surface is within. About then,
+
+your spell fades.
+
+LIAM: The torch is still up.
+
+MATT: The torch is still up, yeah. You guys manage
+to pull the stones from it, the final bits leaving
+
+just enough of a space where you can crawl through
+independently. You are now looking into the center
+
+of a spiral staircase.
+
+TRAVIS: I remember they said they threw an
+explosive behind them and dropped even more, so
+
+this won’t be the first rock slide.
+
+MARISHA: They said that the glowing orbs that made
+the men collapse were purple.
+
+SAM: This all checks out. We are in the right
+place.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that sound like a will-o’-wisp?
+
+MATT: Will-o’-wisps generally fade like a dull
+yellow-green color.
+
+TALIESIN: Does this ring any bells, then?
+
+MATT: Not particularly. As you begin to move
+beyond, you can look up inside this spiral
+
+staircase. Above you and about two feet up the
+corner, there is a wrought iron cage that is built
+
+into the wall, containing a small crystal-like
+stone that is purple in color that is giving off
+
+this light source.
+
+LAURA: Ooh. Hey, Caleb, look! Don’t you want to
+steal that? It’s probably magic.
+
+LIAM: It’s possible that I will want to steal it,
+but can I make anything out? Does it look like
+
+anything that I have read about or encountered
+before?
+
+MATT: There have been different artifacts that
+have been enchanted with equivalents of either
+
+Continuous Flame or a magic that themselves can
+emanate light. The way it’s affixed to here, it
+
+looks like it’s designed to be a general light
+source.
+
+LIAM: So it’s a glow stick.
+
+MATT: Essentially, yeah. It’s a purple glow
+stick.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, let’s get in there.
+
+LIAM: But it’s in an iron cage?
+
+MATT: Like a small iron cage that is bolted into
+the stone.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a nice sconce.
+
+LIAM: Let’s continue on.
+
+MATT: Okay, you have two directions. Up or down?
+
+LAURA: Would you want to go up?
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, we’re in the spiral staircase and it
+goes–
+
+MATT: It goes up or down. You pull through and
+begin to find your way into the spiral staircase.
+
+It’s about, roughly, eight or ten feet wide as it
+continues downward. It also continues upward.
+
+You’re entering partway through the staircase.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: We can’t see around the bend to how far
+down it goes, right? Is it an open spiral
+
+staircase or just a wall?
+
+MATT: No, no. It’s closed. There’s an actual
+column in the center of it so you have to traverse
+
+up or down to get more of a view of where it
+leads.
+
+LIAM: Before we leave this little cage, does it
+look bolted into place?
+
+LAURA: It’s a couple flights up, though, you
+said?
+
+MATT: Well, no. It’s just right around the corner
+on the edge, locked into the central pillar.
+
+TRAVIS: We can only see as far up as the curves go
+in either direction.
+
+MATT: Yeah. It looks like the edges of the cage
+where the metal has been bent–
+
+LIAM: It’s small?
+
+MATT: It’s small. It’s about that big and it’s
+pressed into the stone, like the stone was
+
+probably ground into various holes and then the
+iron was put in there and then sealed in. You
+
+don’t know how easy or hard it would be to
+remove.
+
+TRAVIS: Unless it lets people know when something
+crosses in front of it.
+
+LIAM: Maybe later. Let’s continue on. Which way do
+we want to go?
+
+LAURA: Let’s go down. Usually scarier things are
+down.
+
+MARISHA: I’m always a fan of going down.
+
+TALIESIN: More expensive things tend to be up, but
+I’m happy to start with down.
+
+SAM: Gross. Just gross.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+SAM: You’re super gross.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t even catch that!
+
+LIAM: You have one setting. Naughty.
+
+SAM: Offensive!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to head downwards.
+
+MATT: All right. What is the marching order
+heading downward?
+
+SAM: We’re going down? Do you need me to check for
+traps?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, please.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so Nott in front.
+
+MATT: Nott in front. Who’s after Nott?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll go behind Nott.
+
+SAM: I’ll take a big swig of shitty alcohol.
+
+MATT: Okay. Who’s after Yasha?
+
+LAURA: I guess I can be after Yasha.
+
+MATT: All right. Jester after Yasha.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m right in the middle.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m after Jester or after Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Where do you want to be?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take up the rears.
+
+SAM: (deep voice) I always take up the rears.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m always a fan of the rears.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I was going to say not the back, but I
+will let the bruiser walk behind me.
+
+MATT: So Beau’s at the back keeping an eye open.
+As you guys slowly step down the stone stairs,
+
+deeper and deeper still–
+
+SAM: Check for traps!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s cocked as hell.
+
+SAM: Is that cocked? As hell?
+
+MATT: Is there a number up top?
+
+SAM: There is, but now it just moved.
+
+MATT: Roll it again.
+
+SAM: Well, that’s a natural 20.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That’s an embarrassing 20.
+
+MATT: You guys continue down for about 40 feet or
+so, very slowly, very carefully, as Nott inspects
+
+each individual step, eyes lurking around looking
+for any signs of uneven stone, of gaps between the
+
+mason work. Nothing catches your attention. You
+hit the very base of the stairway before it evens
+
+out. There is a small intermediate chamber that’s
+about 15 feet wide and only about five feet–
+
+sorry. 15 feet long and about five feet wide, and
+then a thin hallway about four or five feet wide
+
+that goes on for about 25 feet. You don’t see
+anything beyond that. There is no light other than
+
+the torch light that you have currently.
+
+SAM: It’s 15 feet long?
+
+MATT: So as you exit the stairs–
+
+LIAM: The shaft is.
+
+MATT: It’s essentially five feet to each way on
+the ends.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: (laughing) No!
+
+SAM: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: Why are you cupping the balls under your
+mouth?
+
+SAM: Because this is where we are.
+
+MATT: It’s a rusty trombone, man. You never seen
+that?
+
+SAM: This is the shaft in front of me, and then
+there’s another? A longer shaft? So we can go down
+
+that shaft if we wanted to?
+
+MATT: Yes. Yes, Nott. That is correct. It looks to
+be five feet to each side of you once you exit the
+
+stairs, like a resting space.
+
+SAM: Okay, these are the balls.
+
+MATT: And then there is a four to five-foot wide
+shaft that continues forward.
+
+MARISHA: I have no chill? You talk to me two
+minutes later.
+
+MATT: I know. I’m proud of you.
+
+LIAM: Has it been that long?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think so.
+
+SAM: I have no idea of the layout of this room. I
+was just going for a gag.
+
+MATT: Congratulations! Nott’s been drinking enough
+where she’s not entirely certain where things are
+
+or where you are.
+
+LAURA: Are we free of traps in this little–
+
+SAM: There are no traps here.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Should we continue on straight ahead?
+
+LAURA: Should we send Frumpkin down there and see
+if it’s clear?
+
+SAM: Or Schmidt.
+
+LIAM: Well, Schmidt can’t see shit, but Frumpkin–
+can my cat see in the dark? I would know that. I
+
+don’t know.
+
+MATT: Cats, generally nocturnal? I would say it
+would have, unless it says in the actual– I will
+
+look in the Monster Manual. I’m fairly certain,
+having grown up with cats, that being nocturnal
+
+creatures they’d have it.
+
+LIAM: It makes sense for anyone who had gone into
+their basement and seen the cat go (humming).
+
+LAURA: Oh, yeah. Cats can see.
+
+TALIESIN: Cats can see your soul.
+
+MATT: They do not have darkvision, according to
+the rules.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, let’s go by the rules, then.
+
+LAURA: The rules need to be changed.
+
+MATT: But they do have perception on vision.
+
+LAURA: Why don’t you send your little dancing
+lights down there with him?
+
+LIAM: Well, I have a range on that. I don’t like
+that idea, actually.
+
+LAURA: What if I just send something that’s on
+fire and I throw it down the tunnel?
+
+LIAM: How about I send Frumpkin with you and
+between Frumpkin and you, we’ll be in good shape?
+
+SAM: Me and Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Am I protecting–
+
+LIAM: You’re just peeking.
+
+SAM: Okay. All right.
+
+LIAM: Who am I behind? Mollymauk. I place hands on
+his shoulders and send Frumpkin down ten feet
+
+ahead of Nott and I’m seeing–
+
+MATT: Ten feet ahead of Nott?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, or listening, and trying to listen and
+see through Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin darts ahead down that long,
+25-foot, very thin hallway to the opposite side
+
+and in the next chamber, what little bit of
+light’s making it in there– because it’s pretty
+
+low light, based on what little bit of torch is
+coming through, and it’s like a lantern light at
+
+this point, because only what’s coming through
+that hallway is then spreading out before you. You
+
+see a raised platform, about a foot high. It looks
+triangular in shape in the center of this room,
+
+and that’s all you can make out with the little
+bit of light that’s there, but the room continues
+
+on about another 20 or so feet beyond that
+entrance before it goes to darkness.
+
+LIAM: So it gets too dark and hazy past that
+altar.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, can you hand the torch down and get
+it to Nott so that she can go a little bit further?
+
+MATT: Nott, are you traveling down the hallway as
+well?
+
+SAM: I’m ten feet behind the cat.
+
+MATT: All right. As you approach the first bit of
+that hallway that continues downward, you step in,
+
+and at that moment, you hear this (click) and
+glance over to the right of you, as you checked
+
+for traps in the stairs, but not the hallway. You
+glance off to the side and can see a scattering of
+
+holes on each side of the wall, about nine or ten
+of them at different angles, and one of them goes
+
+(click). You glance over before something comes
+firing out at extremely fast, lightning speed
+
+towards you.
+
+MARISHA: Rogue shit!
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 26 to hit.
+
+SAM: That hits.
+
+MATT: You take five points of piercing damage as a
+long, metal bolt fires out of the hole and sticks
+
+you right in the front of the thigh.
+
+SAM: Ah! Fuck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I found a trap!
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+LIAM: Is it spent now?
+
+SAM: Let me check. I’ll see if there’s any other
+triggers for this trap.
+
+MATT: On this trap, at this floor point? You jump
+up and down. Make an investigation check if you
+
+want to, in the area.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: It looks like, whatever this trap is, the
+actual entire stone floor around you is a pressure
+
+plate that Frumpkin did not set off. It has not
+gone off since you’ve stepped on it, but as you’re
+
+investigating and listening closely to the stone,
+you hear a very slow (clicking).
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s resetting.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go forward a bit, onto the next
+pressure plate.
+
+MATT: Okay, that is 14 to hit?
+
+SAM: Does not hit.
+
+MATT: Does not hit? This time, hearing the (arrow
+firing) out of the side, and being ready for it,
+
+you duck out of the way and it splinters off and
+sparks against the stone.
+
+SAM: Oh god. There’s many of them.
+
+LIAM: Are you going to tell everybody about the
+pressure plates?
+
+SAM: Oh god, there’s lots of traps! I’m dying out
+here!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: We’re just seeing you. You’re really close
+to us, aren’t you?
+
+SAM: Boy, oh boy, rogues suck. How much further
+until the end of this hall?
+
+MATT: About ten feet from where you are.
+
+LAURA: Can you disarm the traps so you don’t keep
+just setting them off?
+
+LIAM: Do we have anything heavy to put on them to
+hold them down?
+
+SAM: They reset, though, right? I don’t know!
+
+LIAM: We don’t know.
+
+SAM: I’m on this one, and I’m going to listen to
+see if this one’s resetting also.
+
+MATT: (ticking sound)
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll see if there’s a way to disarm it,
+or plug the hole, or something.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a thieves’ tools
+check, which is your proficiency bonus plus
+
+dexterity modifier. Should be plus six, I think?
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18, okay. Looking at this central platform
+here, as you inspect it, listening to where it’s
+
+clicking, you listen for the holes that are
+clicking. Most of these holes are not actually
+
+functional, they’re just there to confuse whoever
+might notice that there’s an issue. Only one of
+
+them is active, and you listen very closely and
+listen for the one that’s making the clicking
+
+noise, and you quickly take one of your thieves’
+tools– or, not your thieves’ tools, something on
+
+you that can plug that hole. A piece of stone,
+something that you might have in your vicinity
+
+that might function to that degree.
+
+LAURA: A button!
+
+MARISHA: Ball bearings you stole from me.
+
+SAM: I do have ball bearings. Hold on, I have so
+many things.
+
+MATT: (ticking sound)
+
+SAM: Oh god. I don’t want to get rid of that,
+that’s cute. A vase!
+
+MATT: The holes are about that big.
+
+SAM: Ah, shit.
+
+MATT: (ticking sound)
+
+SAM: I take my brass doorknob and shove it in
+there.
+
+MATT: Okay, there is a section of the doorknob
+that will fit within that hole. You jam it in
+
+there, and you push and grind it in there until it
+feels wedged in the stone, and eventually you hear
+
+(ticking) (swoosh) and the door knob cracks for a
+second, and there’s no more clicking. Apparently
+
+you have managed to break that device.
+
+SAM: I am going to take the doorknob back.
+
+MATT: As you pull the doorknob out–
+
+SAM: Shit.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage– Oh, no that’s a 12 to
+hit.
+
+SAM: It shoots out anyway?
+
+MATT: It shoots out anyway, but haphazardly, and
+then it breaks.
+
+SAM: Great.
+
+MATT: You hear a (clanking) on the inside of the
+wall there, and that trap is busted.
+
+LAURA: Are there any more?
+
+SAM: I don’t know! I check for more traps. Two for
+investigation.
+
+MATT: Two for investigation?
+
+LIAM: Has the party held up at this point?
+
+MATT: You guys are all just in the back watching
+this happen.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how to be a rogue!
+
+LIAM: While that happened, I would like to
+investigate the part of the room that I can see.
+
+Is there anything dangerous or hinky?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Yes, thank you.
+
+SAM: I rolled a seven. That was not a two, it was
+a seven.
+
+MATT: Okay, hard to tell at this point.
+
+SAM: Great. We’re all clear!
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+MATT: The chamber you’re in right now? Looking
+around, you can see a heavy layer of dust across
+
+the floor and the edges of the wall.
+
+LIAM: This is where Frumpkin is, correct?
+
+MATT: Oh! Sorry, I thought you were checking for
+yourself.
+
+LIAM: Through Frumpkin’s eyes. The half of the
+room, or the portion of the room that Frumpkin can see.
+
+MATT: The portion that Frumpkin can see is just
+the center platform. The center platform, looking
+
+on top, has a series of symbols on it. Looking
+close, Frumpkin can see they aren’t symbols that
+
+are drawn on it, they are carved in. Actually, the
+triangular shape resembles that. The center hole
+
+is the deepest. It goes out of sight. The other
+ones are just mild carvings in the stone.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, is this going to be a puzzle?
+
+SAM: I hope so.
+
+LAURA: Oh, fuck me.
+
+MARISHA: Definitely a puzzle.
+
+ASHLEY: So that’s what’s up ahead?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys are still back waiting for
+Nott to finish walking through.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m just going to run across.
+
+MATT: You’re just going to run across?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m just going to run across and pick up
+Nott on the way.
+
+MATT: As you’re like, “Coast is clear!” Yasha
+comes rushing past. In the time that it’s taken,
+
+the first trap has reset. That is going to be an
+18 to hit?
+
+ASHLEY: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Ooh, that is 11 points of piercing damage,
+as it strikes you in the back of the calf,
+
+actually piercing through the muscle, and you
+stumble for a second. You rush past the floor
+
+where Nott is. No effect. The third one: it goes
+off. Another trap. That is going to be a 14 to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, that just hits.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be seven piercing damage to
+that one. This one catches you in the back, in the
+
+side of your rib cage, under your shoulder blade, and
+you manage to emerge into the next chamber with
+
+the torch now. Wounded–
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck!
+
+MATT: But you made it through. They’re both
+sticking out of you as you turn around and look in
+
+the chamber.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe nobody else do that.
+
+LAURA: No, I’m going to run.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like this is going well.
+
+SAM: I’m running.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys run through, it’s
+still resetting. Who’s going through?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going for it.
+
+LIAM: Are we all going?
+
+TRAVIS: Ah! I’m running!
+
+LIAM: I’m holding onto Mollymauk and just
+following.
+
+MATT: Who’s holding up the back?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll hold up the back. I want to look
+around and see if I see anything that looks of value.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage,
+because you’re now outside of the main light. The
+
+rest of you rush through, making it through, the
+traps have reset.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take that natural one and give
+another $100 to 826LA.
+
+MATT: Beau takes a moment there. Looking around
+the corners, it looks like this portion of the
+
+chamber is more of an antechamber or something
+that leads into the next bit. There’s nothing of
+
+worth or interest.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just things to shoot you in the
+fucking legs.
+
+MARISHA: Wait up for me!
+
+MATT: Okay. You run to the first chamber. It
+shoots out towards you. That’s cocked. That’s
+
+going to be a 16 to hit?
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Misses. Just past you. The second platform,
+Nott’s already disarmed. No effect. Third
+
+platform. Does come shooting out at you. That is
+going to be a natural 20.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+MARISHA: I want to catch it.
+
+MATT: Okay! Let’s see if it works.
+
+MARISHA: Knowing it’s coming.
+
+LIAM: It’s down low, though.
+
+MATT: 13 points of piercing damage for that one.
+
+MARISHA: 1d10 plus eight.
+
+LAURA: You can do it.
+
+LIAM: Get it.
+
+MARISHA: (groan) Wait, how many?
+
+MATT: 13.
+
+MARISHA: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. You catch it and it embeds itself about
+an inch into your chest before you pull it out.
+
+MARISHA: I caught it! Argh!
+
+MATT: You throw the bolt to the ground and
+continue on to the chamber. You only suffer two
+
+points of damage.
+
+MARISHA: Those are from earlier.
+
+SAM: I am so sorry. I did not handle that very
+well. I was told to check for traps and I missed
+
+many of them and I will strive to do better in the
+future and I’m sorry and this one, this one’s on me.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay, Nott.
+
+SAM: I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: I pat your head. You know, it’s a lot of
+stress. You’re learning still.
+
+SAM: It is! All these traps are different. I wish
+they would just stick with the rope across the
+
+hallway trap.
+
+LAURA: Then the log coming down!
+
+SAM: Yeah. That’s the one I know. It’s a tried and
+true classic.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s classic, really.
+
+MATT: As you guys now have a moment here to take
+in the chamber around you, Yasha holding the torch
+
+aloft, lighting up the vicinity. You’re now
+standing inside a tall, octagonal chamber that
+
+rises up about 25, 30 feet above you. A domed
+ceiling with abstract designs and symbols written
+
+in each pie-slots of this octagon around.
+
+LAURA: We’re at Burning Man, aren’t we? We’re at
+Burning Man.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a great installation.
+
+MATT: You see in the center where all of these
+triangular pieces of the dome meet in the center,
+
+there is a blue, thick ten foot wide pillar that
+descends about ten feet from the ceiling, about 15
+
+feet above you. It’s square and ominously held
+aloft.
+
+LAURA: That thing’s going to try to kill us.
+
+MATT: Below that, you see there is that triangular
+piece of stone and there is no visible exit to the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that triangular piece of stone raised
+off the floor?
+
+MATT: It’s raised off the floor about a foot or
+so.
+
+TRAVIS: How big is it?
+
+MATT: For each side, it’s about two and a half
+feet.
+
+MARISHA: It’s this thing?
+
+MATT: It’s that thing.
+
+SAM: How wide is the whole chamber again?
+
+MATT: The whole chamber would probably be about 50
+to 60 feet wide.
+
+LAURA: Oh wow. It’s big.
+
+TRAVIS: If we’re just coming into the area, which
+edge is pointing towards us? The flat or the point?
+
+MATT: From your perspective entering, this would
+be the front end and there’s these two sides
+
+there. You have the dome with all these symbols
+and strange designs upon each of these eight
+
+pieces of the octagon dome.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I recognize any of these symbols?
+Does anything look familiar?
+
+TRAVIS: From your brief life.
+
+MATT: What skills are you trained in?
+
+TALIESIN: Skills?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: What skills you got?
+
+TALIESIN: I got acrobatics, insight, deception,
+sleight of hand.
+
+MATT: Okay. What do you have? Proficient in?
+
+TRAVIS: (whistling) Going to have to get back to
+you. Perception, intimidation, investigation.
+
+SAM: Yeah, there’s a little dot next to it.
+
+TALIESIN: Investigation and survival also.
+
+LIAM: Arcana, insight, investigation.
+
+MATT: Well, as you look up. First off, as Yasha
+holds the torch up so you can see the symbols.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: What?! This is intricate.
+
+MARISHA: Look how cool!
+
+SAM: What are they? They’re all over the ceiling?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I have that kids’ toy that makes these. You
+spin it and the little pen goes around and around.
+
+LAURA: Are all those facing towards Fjord?
+
+MATT: All of these are from Fjord’s perspective.
+
+SAM: Those are on the ceiling?
+
+MATT: Those are on the ceiling, yes.
+
+SAM: Let me just check for traps.
+
+I’m going to walk around the
+immediate area checking for traps. 22.
+
+MATT: 22. As you slowly crawl your way around the
+exterior, checking the stone, checking the
+
+placement. You do see that each of these symbols
+are about maybe half an inch thick into there
+
+except for the centerpiece, which you cannot tell
+how deep it is. The hole in the center goes down
+
+for a while, from what you can tell.
+
+MARISHA: You said this was pretty big.
+
+MATT: It’s about two to two and a half feet
+to each side.
+
+LAURA: On the ground? Just on the ground?
+
+MATT: Yeah, flat on the ground.
+
+SAM: No traps?
+
+MATT: You do not see any traps around the interior
+of the chamber.
+
+LIAM: Something was giving off an arcane aura
+before we came in here, but I cannot see it now,
+
+so if you indulge me and give me ten minutes, I
+will–
+
+SAM: Ten minutes?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, take your time.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a check to see if I recognize
+any of these things?
+
+MATT: Are you trained in arcana?
+
+MARISHA: I can use my mystical erudition to spend
+a ki point.
+
+MATT: I will say because of your monk background,
+I will allow you to go ahead and attempt it as
+
+well. If the two guys trained in arcana as well
+are looking up at the symbols and studying them,
+
+you are welcome to do so.
+
+MARISHA: I get advantage on this.
+
+MATT: If you spend a ki point, yes you do.
+
+LAURA: Are the symbols just painted on the ground,
+or are they carved into the ground?
+
+MATT: Those symbols are carved in the ground.
+Those symbols on the ceiling of each space–
+
+LAURA: They’re on the ceiling?
+
+MATT: They’re on the ceiling in each octagonal
+piece of the dome; they’re painted above in a
+
+circle around.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: Okay. In the focus of intending to cast the
+Detect Magic spell, you’re not as focused on the
+
+symbols. However, the two of you, keenly,
+together, staring up at the ceiling, begin to make
+
+out something similar in these patterns. You don’t
+fully understand it, as it comes from whatever
+
+knowledge was imparted upon you from this entity
+you’ve made a pact with. You, however, in studying
+
+various forms of the arcane and coming into
+knowledge that isn’t your specialty, but knowing
+
+it is definitely a specialty, you look at each of
+these symbols, and these are not classically used,
+
+they’re improvised interpretations, or specific
+re-toolings of the symbols that mean each of the
+
+eight schools of magic. Between Fjord and Beau,
+you guys get to make out what each of these
+
+symbols means.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+MARISHA: Cool.
+
+TRAVIS: So I don’t know why I know this.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s like magic people code.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: The people I learned from were super into
+this shit.
+
+LAURA: Does that mean we have to cast some spells
+or something?
+
+MARISHA: I think it’s a puzzle. I feel like this
+thing rotates and we have to match the symbols on
+
+the bottom to the symbols that match the school of
+magic. It feels like the divination is a full
+
+symbol of the star.
+
+TRAVIS: It feels like the triangle is down here.
+
+MARISHA: Evocation, right? Then the diamond–
+
+LIAM: You can tell if you were to rotate it, it
+would line up. Triangle to triangle, that would
+
+bring the star to that one there.
+
+MARISHA: What would the diamond be?
+
+LIAM: There’s a diamond right there.
+
+SAM: Does it look like it goes inside?
+
+MATT: You can give it a shot if you want to.
+
+SAM: I’ll go gingerly touch the base and see if it
+moves a little bit.
+
+MATT: It does not shift at all.
+
+TRAVIS: Is anyone on the platform?
+
+MATT: Currently, no.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if you have to stick something in
+the hole and twist it.
+
+MARISHA: I bet there’s a key.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is still going through the ritual.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck it, I’ll stand up on the platform.
+
+MATT: Okay, you step onto the platform. A moment
+passes. Two. No effect.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I look down into that black hole in
+the center of it?
+
+MATT: You can, although in the light source
+Yasha’s currently holding, it just looks like shadow.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want it?
+
+TRAVIS: I have darkvision. Oh, yeah, I’ll take the
+torch.
+
+MATT: Okay, you take the torch and hold it over to
+give you a better glance over it. The hole
+
+descends about a foot and a half and stops.
+
+LAURA: Stick your wang in it.
+
+TRAVIS: I will put my finger in the hole,
+actually. I don’t know how big the hole is, but I
+
+want to feel if there are any grooves on the
+inside or any sort of indentations.
+
+MATT: Right. It’s roughly a half inch wide, so
+about that wide.
+
+TRAVIS: I put my little pinkie in it.
+
+MATT: Fits inside.
+
+TRAVIS: Solid walls?
+
+MATT: Solid walls on the inside.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, it’s short. There anything around
+here that looks like a staff or a pole or rod?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to start looking around,
+digging, seeing if I see anything that looks like
+
+it would fit the shape. I’m also going to shout
+out: Be careful, the shifty three were talking
+
+about an octagonal room where they got attacked.
+
+TRAVIS: The floor around this triangle shape, it’s
+flush in the ground, right? There’s no circle
+
+around the triangle platform?
+
+MATT: Correct. It is just flush and set in the
+ground.
+
+TRAVIS: So the ground’s not going to move. Maybe
+the ceiling has to move.
+
+LAURA: Oh, because of the thing in the middle.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. We’re not going to be able to turn
+the floor.
+
+SAM: How do we turn a ceiling?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we’ve got to go all the way back up
+to the top.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s my thought.
+
+SAM: The top of what?
+
+MARISHA: The spiral staircase.
+
+ASHLEY: To see from the top?
+
+MARISHA: We need a down here team and an up here
+team and maybe a Frumpkin to communicate through.
+
+LIAM: Well, I will remember this. I have a perfect
+memory, I will remember this exactly.
+
+LAURA: Does the pillar coming out of the ceiling
+have a hole in it as well?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: She’s good at finding holes.
+
+LAURA: I am really good at finding holes.
+
+LIAM: She talks about them a lot.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. 20.
+
+MATT: Glancing up at it, the pillar itself comes
+down in a square-shape, and the very base of it
+
+has a slight curvature or dome to it, but it is
+solid. You don’t see any seams in it, you don’t
+
+see any marking. It is just a solid pillar. It’s
+about ten feet wide or so.
+
+LIAM: Has ten minutes gone by yet?
+
+MATT: At this point, yeah, as they began to look
+around. You said you’re searching for anything
+
+else in the chamber.
+
+MARISHA: That looks like it would fit in the rod.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: As you begin to slowly make your way around
+the room, looking for any markings.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like that goes in the hole.
+
+LAURA: But the hole is–
+
+SAM: This wide.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, the hole is–
+
+MATT: The hole is like a half-inch wide.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 16.
+
+MATT: You spend a little while looking for any
+signs of grooves or where anything’s hidden. The
+
+chamber is solid, and there is nothing in the room
+that looks like it would– there’s nothing to grab
+
+on to. There are no other objects in here. It’s
+fairly empty, aside from this dome, that octagonal
+
+shape, and this small engraving on the ground, and
+that pillar at the top.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, do you have anything to draw these
+symbols?
+
+SAM: Wait, Jester draws great. Jester can draw.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah! Jester, please, both of you,
+yeah. Just to get a rendition of the ceiling in
+
+relation to the ground.
+
+LAURA: I open up my sketchbook and I start drawing
+the symbols. Here, look, I made this beautiful picture.
+
+MARISHA: You work so fast.
+
+LAURA: Well, I’m really talented.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t have a heal cantrip, do you?
+
+LAURA: Cantrip? No.
+
+ASHLEY: I have some potions.
+
+LIAM: Did Detect Magic reveal what was glowing in
+here before?
+
+MATT: No, this chamber is far further below. It’s
+40 feet below where you guys initially came
+
+through, so whatever you sensed earlier would have
+been near where you entered.
+
+LIAM: Oh, it was just the glow stick.
+
+MATT: It was probably the glow stick, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I think maybe we need to see where those
+stairs go up.
+
+MARISHA: The stairs are back through the hall and
+up, right? They’re not in these chambers? It’s one
+
+big chamber?
+
+MATT: Nope. One big chamber with no other exit
+beyond the hallway you entered from.
+
+MARISHA: All right, I’ll jog up the stairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait. You’re going to wait until she
+disarms the–
+
+SAM: This is my chance for redemption.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry.
+
+SAM: Let me break the traps first.
+
+MARISHA: Get it, girl.
+
+TRAVIS, MARISHA, and ASHLEY: (singing) Get it
+girl, get it, get it girl.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) To the front, to the side, to
+the back. Disarm that trap.
+
+SAM: Can I have a handful of ball bearings?
+
+TALIESIN: I hand Nott a handful of ball bearings.
+
+SAM: Thank you. I’ll start working on it. I’m
+going to disarm trap three.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: 19, plus stuff.
+
+MATT: Oh, yeah. The next trap you come up to, you
+leap up onto the side, using your fingers to dig
+
+into some of the holes there, and jam about three
+ball bearings into the one hole that you see is
+
+the one where the bolt is actually embedded
+within, and as soon as you step back down, you
+
+hear this grinding noise, and the trap is pretty
+shattered from the inside.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’m going to go to trap one. Ooh, not
+as good. Six plus six, right? 12?
+
+MATT: 12. The middle one is still broken. There’s
+only three platforms you’ve seen that actually
+
+lead to this trap. You’ve broken two of them. The
+third and final one, you go to attempt to put the
+
+ball bearing in there.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+MATT: However, it does shoot forth, through your
+thumb. That’s going to be a 21 to hit.
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: You take eight points of piercing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Redemption is fucking painful.
+
+MATT: Actually, it goes through your thumb and
+into your hand and into your wrist, and so you’re
+
+bolted through there and it’s sticking out right
+there, and you’re like (shocked sounds). The shock
+
+hits you– you don’t feel the pain yet, you’re
+looking at it jutting through your hand.
+
+SAM: (heavy breathing)
+
+TALIESIN: We can fix that.
+
+SAM: While it’s reloading, I’m going to jam some
+ball bearings in with my other hand and try to
+
+break it.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll one more time.
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that including the bonus?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+MATT: You’re having a hard time breaking it. You
+hear the clicking going and you’re putting the
+
+ball bearings, and they keep slipping back out,
+and you can’t find the right way to keep it in.
+
+You have too much pain from your hand.
+
+LIAM: She’s too drunk.
+
+SAM: What else I got?
+
+MATT: (ping) Another one fires out towards you.
+That’s going to be a 13 to hit.
+
+SAM: Misses.
+
+MATT: So you duck out of the way. You attempt to
+jam it back in.
+
+SAM: (frustrated growl) I’m going to try one more
+time. Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Angrily, with your one good hand, you take a
+handful of bearings and jam them inside, holding
+
+your wrist there as you can feel the (impact)
+inside, and then a spring breaks somewhere beneath
+
+the stone. All three traps have been disabled.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, 826.
+
+SAM: (relieved panting) All clear!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, well done with– oh my god, your
+hand!
+
+SAM: It’s fine, it’s nothing. It’s fine, it’s just
+a little blood.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s– ugh.
+
+LIAM: You want to deal with that right away.
+
+SAM: (pained groaning)
+
+MARISHA: Hey, can I keep that? I think I can throw
+it later.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, here you go.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you. Thanks, Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you just pocket a thumb?
+
+SAM: No, that’s the bolt.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry, here’s your thumb back. I just
+want the bolt.
+
+LIAM: Big Lebowski.
+
+TRAVIS: You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
+
+MATT: As you’re bleeding profusely from your
+wounded hand, you guys head up the stairway?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, who’s going up?
+
+LIAM: Well, here’s what I think: I can send these
+little globules of light quite a ways, and I can
+
+also send Frumpkin quite a ways, so why don’t we
+let Frumpkin have a look and we just hang back?
+
+TALIESIN: I think let’s all head up in that
+direction, but put Frumpkin first. I think
+
+Frumpkin ahead, but let’s–
+
+TRAVIS: Ten feet ahead is fine.
+
+MARISHA: I have a feeling there’s going to be a
+lever-y or a move-y situation.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re also going to have to keep
+checking for traps and then we’ll send people down
+
+when we need it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you might need opposable thumbs.
+
+SAM: Hey! It’s too soon!
+
+MARISHA: Sorry!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we start heading up with Frumpkin
+ten feet in front.
+
+LIAM: Let’s say 30 feet in front of the group with
+one of my Dancing Lights about ten feet behind
+
+her– him? Him.
+
+MATT: Him. It’s your pet.
+
+SAM: Wait, so who’s going up?
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody.
+
+SAM: But who’s going to be downstairs to–?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’ve got to figure out what we–
+
+LIAM: It’s all right. Jester drew it, I remember
+it, we’re good.
+
+MATT: Marching order heading upstairs?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the front.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take second position.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take third.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take back.
+
+MATT: Yasha’s in the back with Frumpkin up ahead.
+Perfect. As you guys progress, spiraling up the
+
+staircase, you come by the glowing purple orb
+that’s embedded in the wall, and you’re helping
+
+Caleb come up the stairs, vision currently focused
+through Frumpkin. Frumpkin heads above, curling
+
+upward another 60 or so feet above where you
+entered– so 100 feet above, spiraling, where this
+
+base floor you had already inspected was.
+Eventually, it emerges into a fairly wide
+
+square-looking chamber.
+
+LIAM: Looking for dangerous shit.
+
+MATT: All right. Frumpkin emerges and looks
+inside. It’s a Baroque-style grand chamber, with
+
+intricate designs and a beautiful interior. The
+floor itself is solid marble squares that are
+
+off-color to each other and give almost a
+checkered pattern to it. Against each wall, the
+
+walls are carved to be beautifully intricate with
+half-pillars carved out of them, and parts that
+
+are inset with art pieces once were set, but are
+gone. There are shelves in places in here, where
+
+things of worth were once set but have already
+been taken. The opposite side of the room, by the
+
+way, has completely fallen in. This chamber should
+be about 80 feet across, but it looks like
+
+something has happened and caused it to collapse
+inward, and the chamber is slightly tilted to one
+
+side. There’s a slight tilt, a decline towards the
+left-hand side of the chamber. There are two
+
+load-bearing pillars that mark the center of the
+chamber that lead up to the ceiling, and the
+
+ceiling itself is about 30 feet up, similar height
+to the previous chamber you were in. Make a
+
+perception check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: For me through Frumpkin is terrible. Seven.
+
+MATT: With the low light in the chamber, it’s hard
+to make out any of specific details beyond that,
+
+but this is what you can see. The collapsed
+opposite side of the chamber that has fallen in,
+
+and there is rubble and stone and earth that has
+filled the opposite side of the chamber. There is
+
+the nice marble floor and the designs and carvings
+in the sides of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there any sort of door at the top of
+the stairs that leads into this chamber, or is it
+
+just open?
+
+MATT: It just opens up. The spiral staircase just
+emerges into that chamber.
+
+LIAM: Knowing distance, space, the direction of
+north at all times, with Frumpkin in there, am I
+
+able to tell how far back we are from this
+chamber? We’re 20 feet back?
+
+MATT: You guys are about 15, 20 feet behind
+Frumpkin, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Would you say that Detect Magic is still
+cooking at this point? Are we still under the ten
+
+minutes from when I cast in the other room?
+
+MATT: You’re getting close to the tip of it– to
+the end of it.
+
+LIAM: Am I sensing anything?
+
+LAURA: (snickers)
+
+ASHLEY: Just the tip of it.
+
+LIAM: Find one thing you’re good at in life and do
+it for the rest of your life.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: So what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to scooch– well, no, I’m with
+Beau, so I’m asking if I sense anything of arcane nature.
+
+MATT: Nothing in the vicinity of the spiral
+staircase, no.
+
+LIAM: A retroactive question– no, never mind.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m going to pop a healing potion.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I can help you. You want me to heal
+you?
+
+SAM: I mean, I don’t want to impose, but I’m
+bleeding profusely.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Cure Wounds.
+
+MATT: Level one?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: She cast it on me, too?
+
+LAURA: I did it on you, too. So that’s seven
+points of healing for you.
+
+ASHLEY: Tight.
+
+MATT: Seven points for Nott? Okay, cool.
+
+LAURA: Does that help?
+
+SAM: It helps.
+
+TALIESIN: Still 11 down.
+
+MATT: Are you guys staying in the staircase or are
+you emerging into the chamber?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m walking in.
+
+MATT: So you all begin to make your way inside
+this chamber.
+
+LIAM: Anything arcane before it dips out?
+
+MATT: Nothing arcane in nature that catches your
+attention immediately in a 30 foot distance. Are
+
+you heading into the chamber?
+
+LIAM: No. I’m behind Beau.
+
+MATT: Okay. Behind Beau, at the entrance way, you
+don’t feel any arcane presence. The rest of you
+
+begin to push past, and make your way into the
+chamber. And once again you see–
+
+MARISHA: Any ghosty globbies?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll looking for will-o’-wisps.
+
+MATT: That’d be perception checks from both you
+guys. With Yasha’s torch and the globes you have
+
+there, you don’t have disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: I’m dropping Frumpkin vision.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Yes! That’s real good.
+
+MATT: Natural 20. You?
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+LIAM: You’re also good.
+
+MATT: Okay, you notice a couple things.
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+MATT: One, there is a relief in the center of the
+chamber, right before the wall collapse covers the
+
+floor built into the marble. It resembles two
+faces and one body in the center. Like one torso
+
+leads into two faces that look upward. Their eyes
+are gone, there’s circular empty sockets where the
+
+faces are and their emotionless expressions
+looking upward. Very thinly carved into the ground.
+
+MARISHA: On the ground?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Looking from above you can see it, but
+looking from the side it looks very strange
+
+because it’s a very flat carving. You see that in
+the center, ahead in the chamber.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Are they like profiles, or are they
+front?
+
+MATT: No, they’re looking straight up. There’s two
+sockets to each, and they’re empty.
+
+MARISHA: Looking up, deadless? Okay. Copy.
+
+LAURA: Deadless?
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Lifeless
+
+MATT: Yes. Deadless. Deadlifts, yes, they’re
+looking up from the deadlifts, it’s–
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. Absorbing a lot at once. Keep
+going.
+
+MATT: You do look to the right and left hand sides
+of the chamber, you can see all the shelves and
+
+inset areas where artwork would have been placed.
+You do see two upside down acorn-style alcoves
+
+that are mirroring each other on each side of the
+chamber.
+
+LAURA: Does that look like that shape?
+
+MATT: From this distance, you can’t see. They’re
+open. They’re maybe about a foot tall and empty in
+
+the inside. With the light source you have at the
+moment you can’t see anything inside of them.
+
+Looking above you, you do see a set of chains that
+are hanging from the ceiling that appear to be
+
+affixed to some sort of red clay urn or vase that
+is dangling above.
+
+MARISHA: I relay all of that, of course.
+
+MATT: Looking across the way in the rubble,
+because you rolled a natural 20, you see a faint
+
+glimmer of something metallic that catches the
+light of the torch occasionally as Yasha moves
+
+back and forth.
+
+LIAM: You point that out as well?
+
+MARISHA: I do.
+
+LIAM: Off of her first comment I would send one of
+the globules floating up to the ceiling to better
+
+illuminate what she’s pointed out.
+
+MATT: Okay. It looks to be some sort of vase or
+urn that is dangling from chains about 30 feet up.
+
+LAURA: How big?
+
+MATT: It’s about that tall. The full container.
+It’s like a reddish clay color to it. It looks
+
+fairly well made, but nothing ornamental, per se.
+It’s dangling from a chain on each side. The light
+
+lifts around it to inspect and reveal its
+coloration.
+
+LIAM: Was that 30 feet above us? Is there any
+space between the ceiling and the container?
+
+MATT: About a foot, foot and a half. There’s not
+much distance. It’s affixed to the ceiling right there.
+
+MARISHA: And we can see it– sorry.
+
+LIAM: No, you’re good.
+
+MARISHA: We can see a closer of the dome with the
+symbols on them?
+
+MATT: There’s no dome in here.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, we’re not there yet. Sorry. We’re
+just up the spiral staircase.
+
+MATT: You’re starting to enter the chamber, and
+there is no ceiling shapes or anything that
+
+resemble the previous chamber you were in. It
+comes to a– there is a slight curve to where the–
+
+MARISHA: I’m assuming it’s through the collapsed
+tunnel. Right. Okay. Got it.
+
+LIAM: Something metallic in the rubble. Vase
+above.
+
+MATT: Correct, and the two alcoves in the sides,
+the two pillars that are load bearing in the
+
+center of the chamber.
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to throw something up at the
+vase and try to knock it over?
+
+TRAVIS: No. Let’s see what’s on the other side of
+the room first.
+
+LIAM: Just to clarify your description. The
+container is being held from above?
+
+MATT: Correct. It is dangling from the ceiling.
+
+LIAM: Chains coming down? Or no, two chains from
+the ceiling.
+
+MATT: Just two chains from the ceiling that are
+holding it in place.
+
+MARISHA: That feels like that might be a trap.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Cool. I start walking towards the other
+side of the room.
+
+MATT: Okay. Fjord, you walk through, the relief on
+the ground ahead of you. And there is that weird
+
+source of metallic reflection that Beau had
+seen from across the way.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to scoot up behind Fjord and see
+if I can detect any arcane anything before the
+
+spell sniffs out.
+
+MATT: Okay. In the final throes of the spell, the
+source of that metallic shine does give a faint,
+
+arcane, magical aura before the spell fades.
+
+LIAM: What kind was it?
+
+MATT: For that one? It would be abjuration.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m going to scoot around the side and see if
+I can peek into those holes. Those reliefs in the walls.
+
+MATT: The alcoves?
+
+SAM: Alcoves.
+
+MATT: Okay. You head over to the side alcove. Make
+an investigation check.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: 16. You glance up inside, it’s about three
+and a half feet off the ground, and you have to
+
+climb and scurry up with your small goblin body.
+Looking inside, there is another clay urn of the
+
+same red color, that’s set about a foot and a half
+inside.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to get down on the ground.
+
+SAM: I will inform the others.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go check out the other
+alcove.
+
+MATT: The other alcove also contains a similar
+clay–
+
+TALIESIN: Three red urns?
+
+LIAM: I catch Fjord by the arm. Be careful.
+Whatever is under there is something of
+
+protection. Something to keep us out, or to
+protect something.
+
+TRAVIS: The little metallic glimmer that we saw.
+Can we see?
+
+MATT: As you approach, you can see, buried in some
+of the rubble, a long brass or bronze rod of some
+
+kind. You only see about a foot of it sticking out
+from under the rubble.
+
+LAURA: Ayyyy. There’s a rod.
+
+TRAVIS: About a half inch in diameter, would you
+call it?
+
+MATT: You get a little closer and look down at it.
+It looks like it would be about a half inch in
+
+diameter, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: What was underneath the urn in the
+ceiling? On the ground?
+
+MATT: On the ground? There’s nothing directly
+below it.
+
+LAURA: Where are the faces on the ground?
+
+MATT: You walk up to the faces?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You go over and sit over it, and you can see
+a well carved, robed figure. Male on one side and
+
+female on the other, but the same features. Like
+two sides of the same coin. Similar hairstyle. No
+
+coloration to it, but a white marble relief on the
+ground. The torsos merge and extend on the two
+
+sides, and they both sort of look up with the
+emotionless face. And where the eyes are they are
+
+vacant, circular holes about that big.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh. All of them?
+
+MATT: As you get closer and look, where the holes
+are vacant, its only about maybe a quarter inch deep.
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+MATT: So they don’t go fully below, they’re like a
+quarter of an inch deep.
+
+LAURA: Should I stick something in these eyes?
+
+SAM: Maybe.
+
+ASHLEY: Is there any way to see what is in the
+urns? Like just have a peeksies.
+
+MATT: You come towards the urn. You have to pull
+it out slightly to look into it because the
+
+interior is too hard to see from this point.
+
+SAM: I’m going to get my crossbow ready to fire.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I just, with my sword, just a little.
+
+MATT: Sure. You take your sword and wedge it out.
+It shifts forward a little bit and you look
+
+inside. It looks like there is ash in the urn.
+It’s only about halfway full. Make a perception check.
+
+ASHLEY: Uh-oh. Seven.
+
+MATT: All you see is ash inside the urn.
+
+ASHLEY: I think it’s trash.
+
+TRAVIS: These are trash urns?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Why would they put trash urns in these
+weird–
+
+ASHLEY: It’s garbage.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I try and move some of the rubble off
+of the bronze rod?
+
+MATT: Sure, start shifting some of the rock. Make
+a strength check. This would be athletics to do
+
+this. Athletics, sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I think that’s a 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. You start shifting and pull the rocks
+off. The rod begins to coil. You start moving it
+
+and you pull and manage to pull it free from the
+stone. Some of the rocks falling down and
+
+stumbling to the side. You pull out a four and a
+half foot long rod that is straight towards the
+
+bottom for about a foot and then is in a tight
+coil to the very top where there is a small
+
+metallic knob at the very top. You pull it forth
+and it vibrates a little from the impact of
+
+pulling it out from under the stone, and then it
+comes to still in your hand.
+
+TRAVIS: Does it wobble?
+
+MATT: A little bit, very faintly.
+
+TRAVIS: Does it make any noise?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TRAVIS: If I swing it harder, does it?
+
+LAURA: Don’t break it.
+
+MATT: You start swinging it. It makes a (air
+whipping) sound as you swing it around.
+
+LIAM: I think I would have noticed that the circus
+bouncer looking in the urn did not get blown up,
+
+but also looked a little puzzled. So I’m going to
+go over and take a look at the same thing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a look at the other
+one.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you go to look in the other urn,
+you glance over at the urn that Yasha was turned
+
+away from, and you see this glowing fire emerge
+from the urn in her direction. Just this small,
+
+glowing orb begin to shift out of the urn right
+towards her back.
+
+SAM: Am I ready to fire?
+
+MATT: You are. You get to make an attack.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start with one of my
+blades.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m going to shoot a crossbow bolt at
+that fire.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Oh shit. And that is a 19 against you Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Wait. Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: Okay, do your damage.
+
+SAM: Okay. Is this sneak attack or no? I don’t
+even know what this creature is.
+
+LIAM: Yasha is right next to it.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I get a saving throw?
+
+MATT: No saving throw, but you do take 13 points
+of lightning damage.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to die.
+
+SAM: I deal 16 points of damage.
+
+LAURA: Wait, do you double it because it’s a
+critical?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: The dice are doubled. Not your modifiers,
+but the dice.
+
+SAM: Wow. Okay. That’s 28 points of damage.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s better.
+
+MATT: 28 points of damage. All right.
+
+SAM: All the dice are doubled?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Good god.
+
+MATT: So you actually take no damage, because he
+was holding his reaction and as soon as it
+
+emerges, he fires. You watch as the orb
+dissipates. The faint, little motes of energy
+
+shift and vanish on the outside of the urn.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m looking at the other urn. Is
+anything happening?
+
+MATT: You watch as another one begins to slowly
+emerge and another begins to emerge from the
+
+ceiling. I need you all roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: Here we go.
+
+SAM: (shouting) No time to thank me.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+SAM: (shouting) No! No time!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, really?
+
+ASHLEY: Oh my god.
+
+LIAM: I got another one for 826LA.
+
+TALIESIN: I rolled the same initiative.
+This is the worst initiative ever.
+
+MATT: You got Yasha off to this side, going this
+way. Nott, you’re not too far from there. Molly,
+
+you were off to the opposite side to look to the
+other edge. Caleb, where were you?
+
+LIAM: I was where Yasha was. I went over to look
+at her urn.
+
+MATT: That’s right. So you were over by Yasha.
+Fjord, you were over by where you found the
+
+object. Frumpkin was– ?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin would have been just 15 feet into
+the chamber.
+
+MATT: Okay. And then Beau and Jester, where are
+you placed?
+
+MARISHA: I would be probably be in between Fjord
+and Caleb.
+
+LAURA: I was wherever those bodies where, because
+I was kneeling down and looking at them.
+
+MATT: Right. So that would be this relief right
+here, by Fjord’s. All righty. And you watch as
+
+Molly– actually Molly was making his way over
+there as this happened. And that one emerged.
+
+LAURA: It look like lightning corn on the cob.
+
+MATT: Another one shifts out of the urn that you
+just had one emerge from.
+
+SAM: It’s my own urn.
+
+MATT: That Nott has destroyed. It dissipated, then
+the small motes (fwoosh) back into the urn.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! It’s like never ending.
+
+ASHLEY: Now that I know it’s there.
+
+LAURA: It’s not a surprise, at least.
+
+ASHLEY: Not a surprise.
+
+MATT: So, going for initiative here folks. 25 to
+20?
+
+MARISHA: 22.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: Oh wow, all right. So we have Nott and Beau.
+All right, 20 to fifteen?
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. We got Fjord. All righty. 15 to ten?
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+ASHLEY: 10.
+
+MATT: Jester and Yasha. All righty. Ten to five?
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+LIAM: Rolled one, which makes me a two.
+
+MATT: Oh, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I love it.
+
+MATT: All right, the will-o’-wisps rolled a 26 for
+initiative.
+
+LAURA: These are the will-o’-wisps?
+
+ASHLEY: This is where we walked in from?
+
+MATT: Yes. That is the entrance where you walked
+in from.
+
+MARISHA: Little shits.
+
+MATT: So for their turn they vanish temporarily.
+
+MARISHA: They what?
+
+LIAM: They vanish. They’re gone. They’re fucking
+ghosts.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m trapped in that– well, never mind.
+Damn it.
+
+LAURA: Aren’t will-o’-wisps like kids? Aren’t they
+the spirits of children?
+
+MARISHA: Is that true?
+
+SAM: Is that true? Oh god, that is awful.
+
+LAURA: That’s what I learned in Quest for Glory:
+Shadows of Darkness.
+
+MATT: You would know this, but it’s different from
+story to story. It’s not necessarily the case
+
+here. So the three will-o’-wisps come back into
+visual range, and one’s going to be attacking
+
+Molly, one against Nott, and one against Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Copy.
+
+MATT: The one against Beau is going to be– that’s
+a nine.
+
+MARISHA: Nein. Miss.
+
+MATT: That’s a miss on you. It goes wide. There’s
+going to be one attacking you, Molly. That is
+
+going to be an 18 to hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that hits.
+
+MATT: That is eight points of lightning damage
+against you. Against you, Nott– that is a 22 to
+
+hit. You take 12 points of lightning damage. As
+these will-o’-wisps reach out and strike you,
+
+there’s a burst of energy as electricity,
+strangely, like undead, life-sucking energy,
+
+electricity begins to shoot through your body. You
+feel your muscles tense, your teeth and your jaw
+
+clench. And you break away and regain composure
+for a moment, but they seriously hurt you with a
+
+brief gliding by your essence. For the rest of
+their movement, this one is going to shift around
+
+this way. This one is going to go ahead and shift
+this way. This one is going to go ahead and move
+
+right there, to melee move Fjord. All right, first
+up we have Nott and Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. You want to go first, girl?
+
+SAM: Sure! I will shoot towards (cocking sound).
+Is the one near Molly engaged with Molly?
+
+MATT: It is, yes.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will shoot at the one next to Molly.
+Not good, 12.
+
+MATT: 12? Does not hit, unfortunately. You fire
+towards and it (swooshing sound) just dodges out
+
+of the way, completely avoids the bolt, as it
+ricochets off the stonework in the distance.
+
+SAM: (cocking sound) Fire again, bonus action! Not
+much better. 15.
+
+MATT: 15. It manages to arc out of the way of the
+other one. Both bolts go wide from where its
+
+position is, striking the stone. No effect.
+
+LAURA: 15 didn’t hit them.
+
+MARISHA: 15 didn’t? Did you try to shoot it?
+
+SAM: Twice.
+
+MATT: Nott, are you going to move or stay there
+for your turn?
+
+SAM: No, I’m engaged, right?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: I’m going to say, (shouting) Help me!
+I’m going to die, I’m going to die!
+
+MATT: Beau, while this is happening, what are you
+doing?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, seeing Nott have a hard time, I’m
+going to pull out that holy water and I’m going
+
+to, like a confetti popper, I want to, right over
+its face, just break it.
+
+MATT: The one right in front of you?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: All righty, go ahead and roll an attack with
+that.
+
+MARISHA: Just straight attack?
+
+MATT: It should be with your dexterity.
+
+MARISHA: With my dex, to throw it even though I’m
+not throwing it?
+
+SAM: What are you throwing?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not throwing–the holy water. I’m
+trying to break it with my hand and palm in its face.
+
+MATT: You’re not proficient with it, but it’s
+still your dex to hit with it.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: A 12? Okay, that– pulling out a book here,
+thank you for your patience, (singing) holy water.
+
+MARISHA: Is it a dex saving throw?
+
+MATT: That’s a ranged attack against the target
+creature. Yeah, no. You try to smash it, but it
+
+ducks out of the way. Because you’re smashing it,
+it doesn’t hit the ground and shatter, so you
+
+still have it your hand. But you swing with it to
+try to break it over this entity, and it dodges
+
+out of the way. They are very quick.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Do I still get my bonus attack?
+
+MATT: Because it was a ranged attack, sure. It’s
+stretching it a little bit, but I will let it happen.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 19. 25.
+
+MATT: 25 does hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Eight damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage for that one. Nice.
+
+MARISHA: Do I punch a ghost?
+
+MATT: You do hit it, but it doesn’t take as much
+damage as you would expect. As you swing toward
+
+it, it gives resistance to your fist, and numbs it
+as you punch through it. It does react to the
+
+impact, but it’s not quite as impactful as you
+hoped a swing that strong should have been.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: You punched cotton candy.
+
+MATT: You did, kind of– stinging cotton candy.
+
+MARISHA: A little cold.
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: All righty. Finishing Beau and Nott’s go–
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I got a question. You said ten minutes on
+the boat as we were moving forward, ten minutes
+
+for him to cast detect magic, and another ten
+minutes for detect magic to run out, so it’s been
+
+about a half an hour?
+
+MATT: I’d say with searching around everything,
+it’s been closer to 45 minutes.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great. So my Armor of Agathys is
+still up?
+
+MATT: Your armor is still up.
+
+TRAVIS: So can I bonus-action Hex the glob– the
+wispy thing right next to me?
+
+MATT: Sure. There we go.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+MATT: You’ve hexed it.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. Can I take swipe at it with
+the Wastehunter Blade?
+
+SAM: Wastehunter!
+
+TRAVIS: Wastehunter. That is 15 to hit.
+
+MATT: 15 to hit. You Hex it and as you swing your
+blade, (swooshing sound) it shimmies out of the
+
+way. Its light moves with sudden, rapid haste as
+soon as you try to strike towards it and dodges
+
+the blow entirely.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow! Can I use all of my 30 foot walking
+speed to run towards the door there where we came
+
+out of.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten, 15, 20, 25, 30. The one that
+was near you is going to go ahead and make an
+
+opportunity strike against you.
+
+MARISHA: Does that mean I get to make an
+opportunity strike against it?
+
+MATT: It made an attack that doesn’t include you,
+so yeah, technically.
+
+SAM: Wow!
+
+TRAVIS: That is the plan here.
+
+MATT: All right, so that is an 18 to hit you.
+
+TRAVIS: It hits.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: And it take ten points of cold damage.
+
+MATT: And you take ten points of lightning
+damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Beautiful.
+
+MARISHA: That’s okay, that’s okay.
+
+MATT: Cold damage, all right. So it takes– the
+cold does not seem to impact it as heavily as you
+
+would assume. It does hurt it, but it seems to be
+resistant from a lot of the forms of attacks that
+
+you are throwing in its direction.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Another eight points.
+
+MATT: Another fist punch towards the will-o’-wisp
+impacts, but doesn’t seem to strike as strong as
+
+you hoped, but it’s still taking damage as it runs
+past. It shocks out at Fjord as Fjord runs by.
+
+Using your Sentinel feat to get your reaction hit
+off.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got that gold rod, by the way. I’m
+getting the fuck out of here.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, go.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. As a bonus action, I’m going to cast
+Sanctuary on Nott.
+
+SAM: Oh, I feel so safe.
+
+MATT: That’s concentration or not?
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t say concentration.
+
+MATT: Okay, I’ll pull it up.
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t have that on the–
+
+MATT: Sanctuary is not concentration.
+
+LAURA: They have to make a wisdom save if they
+attack her. Then as an action, I’m going to use my
+
+cantrip of Sacred Flame.
+
+MATT: Against which one?
+
+LAURA: The one next to Molly.
+
+MATT: Next to Molly. That’s a wisdom save?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s a dex save.
+
+MATT: That is a 23.
+
+LAURA: It definitely saves.
+
+MATT: It ducks out of the way before the Sacred
+Flame bursts into the air, hitting nothing. You
+
+get the sense through all these attacks that these
+things are very quick. That end your turn, Jester?
+
+That brings us to Yasha.
+
+SAM: Come on, Yasha! Hurt them with your
+strength!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to get a little closer to the
+one that’s near Nott.
+
+MATT: With your greatsword–
+
+ASHLEY: Pulled out, so I would like to rage. You
+can use reckless while you’re raging?
+
+MATT: Reckless attacks? Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Which means you roll with advantage, but
+they get advantage on you.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, that’s fine.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell
+me!
+
+ASHLEY: I want to get this all figured out so we
+won’t always have question time. Can I also use
+
+Divine Fury?
+
+MATT: Divine Fury? Yeah, that’s part of your
+thing, so all that happens at the same time. Your
+
+first attack every round.
+
+ASHLEY: So I roll twice?
+
+MATT: You roll twice, take the higher of the two.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow!
+
+LIAM: Go for that natural 20!
+
+ASHLEY: 25?
+
+MATT: 25 definitely hits. You do the damage from
+your sword.
+
+ASHLEY: Ah! What do I–
+
+MATT: The greatsword is 2d6 plus your strength
+modifier, which is three? Plus your rage modifier,
+
+which is two? That’s plus five to whatever you
+roll, plus your Divine Fury damage.
+
+LIAM: Fucking muscle wizards.
+
+ASHLEY: Plus what? Say again?
+
+MATT: Whatever you roll, plus five. Ten, plus your
+Divine Fury.
+
+ASHLEY: Which is another d6, plus half–
+
+SAM: Just pull out another d6.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to. (counting) 18.
+
+MATT: Well, how much radiant damage is that?
+
+TRAVIS: Plus half your barbarian level?
+
+LAURA: She rolled six.
+
+ASHLEY: The damage that I chose was necrotic. Six
+plus half my barbarian level, which would be two,
+
+so 18 damage.
+
+MATT: You rush forward, rage, giant swing down
+with your blade. You watch this burst of dark
+
+necrotic energy come crackling out of the blow. It
+hits, and you watch as it flickers for a second,
+
+and pulls itself back together. It’s wounded, but
+it seems to be shrugging off some of the impact
+
+barely. You want to stay where you are?
+
+ASHLEY: Bonus attack? Not bonus, but do I have a
+bonus? Can I do Healing Hands on Nott?
+
+MATT: You bonus raged, unfortunately.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, that’s your bonus. Copy that. Got it.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep, that’s my turn. Wait– yes, I’m going
+to stay there.
+
+TALIESIN: I know what these things are.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I understand what’s happening, with
+why they’re going back to the pots, to whatever’s
+
+in the pots?
+
+MATT: You’re not entirely certain, but you do
+notice, glancing about, that they seem to be
+
+emerging from them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m actively tracking these at this
+point, I would imagine, so I can’t be surprised anymore.
+
+MATT: Right.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Can I scoot around the– I
+assume the clay pot is on the other side of that
+
+will-o’-wisp right now?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to scoot around to that side.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take my first shot at the
+will-o’-wisp as I’m dancing around it.
+
+MATT: All righty. You swing wide with your first.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, let’s see if this hits. 17?
+
+MATT: 17 does not hit.
+
+TALIESIN: My god, really?!
+
+MATT: You swing your blade and it ducks out of the
+way. These are quick little fuckers!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take my bonus action, and
+I’m going to break the pot.
+
+MATT: Okay. Swing.
+
+SAM: Taliesin hates pot!
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, I do. 11 points.
+
+MATT: 11 is enough. It’s a stationary object. So
+roll damage on it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, that’s eight points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. You bring the blade
+in and strike into the alcove, and as you yank it
+
+out with the blade, you cut it halfway through the
+air. The actual urn bisects, sending ash clouding
+
+into the air around you, and you watch as the
+will-o’-wisp (pfft).
+
+SAM: Oh! Why don’t we do that with all of them?
+
+MARISHA: Nice! That’s what we do!
+
+TRAVIS: Nice, dude, nice.
+
+MATT: The urn clatters to the ground. The top of
+it breaks, the second half hits with a heavy thud
+
+sound that’s different from the sound of the clay
+that shatters on the ground. That finishes your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Other than that I’m going to take a look
+at it down below, to see if there’s anything in
+
+there that’s weird.
+
+MATT: I’ll say you have to wait until next round. You
+reach around and finish that whirling dervish action.
+
+LAURA: I should have thrown something at the
+vase!
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Caleb does what that bearded dude in the GIF
+does, going– seeing that happen, and I cast
+
+Scorching Ray myself, and I will send one ball of
+fire at the next pot.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: The one on the roof?
+
+LIAM: No, the other one besides that.
+
+MATT: The one in this alcove there that’s right
+across the way?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is– oh, jeez. Everything changed
+for me. So that is perception plus– not
+
+perception. Intelligence modifier, which is five
+plus seven. So that is an 18 to hit.
+
+MATT: 18 hits, yeah. Roll damage on that one.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that’s 2d6 for a damage of seven.
+
+MATT: Seven. That urn explodes on the inside of
+the alcove as the streaking, hot Scorching Ray
+
+slams into the clay, causing the top half of it to
+detonate. The bottom half of the clay cracks, and
+
+the bottom still remains in place, the ash
+clouding out of it. The one–
+
+LIAM: So that did not get destroyed, then, it got
+damaged?
+
+MATT: This will-o’-wisp flickers out. It had been
+heavily damaged already, and that amount of
+
+scattering of the ash caused it to flicker and
+disintegrate. The bottom of the urn is still
+
+holding itself in place, the top half scattered
+and broken.
+
+LIAM: That was just one, so I continue to wrap my
+hand around, and a second one shoots out at the
+
+one in the ceiling. That is a natural 18.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage on that one.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is an eight.
+
+MATT: Eight? It shatters and breaks. The ash comes
+clouding down like the slight drizzle of soft dust
+
+and ash. This will-o’-wisp vanishes into the
+space.
+
+TRAVIS: Ugh, it’s in my eyebrows!
+
+LIAM: The other one shoots up in the air and lands
+two feet behind me, just goes (explosion).
+
+SAM: Whoa, so cool!
+
+MATT: As you’re three-point landing there,
+Caleb–
+
+LIAM: No, I’m standing!
+
+MATT: Standing, but hurling a– (laughter) As you
+stand there, the explosion behind from the
+
+Scorching Ray, as the bottom half of the urn from
+the ceiling– (tinging, rolling)
+
+LIAM: Oh shit, that’s hot!
+
+SAM: That was amazing!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pick up the bottom half of
+that, and I’m going to examine, immediately, what
+
+I’ve got.
+
+MATT: All right. And we’ll come back to that after
+our break because it’s just after nine o'clock. So
+
+we’ll take a quick break here and be back here in
+just a moment, guys. Hold tight. In the meantime,
+
+we do have another Wyrmwood giveaway. We have a
+black poisonwood Hero Vault that we’re giving out
+
+this time. Nice dark wood one. You can keep your
+minis, you can keep your dice, you can keep all
+
+sorts of things inside the small space here. If
+all of you want to come over into Twitch chat to
+
+enter this, you can only enter the word once. More
+than once and you will be disqualified. Once
+
+again, this is only for US residents and Canadian
+residents, outside of Quebec. The code word for
+
+tonight is “river.” So come on over, enter that
+into the chat, and we’ll come back with a winner
+
+at the break! We’ll see you guys in a minute.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello, and welcome back everybody! Glad we
+can join… us. Before we get back into the story,
+
+we have a winner. The winner for tonight’s
+giveaway is TheMostJost!
+
+TRAVIS: TheMostJost!
+
+MATT: You are the most jostiest Jost, and as such,
+being the most jostest, TheMostJost, you win.
+
+Congratulations, we’re going to get that black
+poisonwood Hero’s Vault to you, so congrats.
+
+The brief burst of adrenaline has begun to fade from
+your bodies, your muscles tense, slowly beginning
+
+to relax. The urn shattered, the chamber now still
+and quiet. No seeming flickering flame of undead
+
+energy or source in the vicinity. What do you want
+to do?
+
+LAURA: Those guys were so stupid. They could have
+broken the vases. How dumb are they?
+
+MARISHA: I know. I don’t feel so bad for making
+fun of them now. I feel like maybe we were hard on
+
+them, but now I don’t think we were.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I don’t think so either. They’re
+fucking ceramic pottery pieces.
+
+SAM: I’m desperately injured.
+
+LAURA: You want me to try to heal you?
+
+SAM: No. Again, I don’t want to impose.
+
+LAURA: I’ll try to heal you.
+
+SAM: If you’re offering, I’ll take it, but I am
+definitely bleeding from my eyes.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast, at a 2nd-level, Cure
+Wounds, because Nott seems like she’s dying.
+
+LIAM: Don’t strain a hammy.
+
+LAURA: Goddamn it! Really?
+
+MATT: Is that a one?
+
+LAURA: One and a two.
+
+MATT and SAM: Aw.
+
+LAURA: I could’ve cast it at 1st-level! Damn it!
+You still only got fucking seven points of fucking healing!
+
+SAM: I feel guilty for having needs!
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, Yasha, maybe?
+
+SAM: Oh wait, I could’ve just–
+we could have rested and I could’ve used hit dice.
+
+LAURA: Goddamn it!
+
+TRAVIS: We should rest right now.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I dig through one of the ashes? The
+urn?
+
+LAURA: I just wasted one of my 2nd-levels y'all!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, we can keep going.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re still resting.
+
+ASHLEY: Still garbage?
+
+MATT: You and Molly are doing this, if I recall,
+before we entered the break. The base of each urn,
+
+the lower half of it, is actually a metal-lined
+bottom. Looking on the inside, as you scoop out
+
+the ash, (blowing) get it to empty the space, you
+can see, very faintly on the inside of the metal,
+
+very faint carvings matching the symbols you have
+seen in the previous room.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit!
+
+LAURA: Which room? Let’s take the piece of metal
+down! Wait, does each of the urns have a different one?
+
+MATT: Each of the urns has all eight symbols in
+it.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: At this point, we should be able to see the
+things that the very perceptive people saw, which
+
+was two faces, eyes with holes in them in the
+middle–
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: In this room?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Should we do it in this room?
+
+TRAVIS: Are the eye holes about the size of gold
+coins?
+
+MATT: Roughly.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take two gold coins and put them in
+both of the eyes on one of the faces.
+
+MATT: On the faces? Okay. You take two gold coins
+out, and you place them roughly, and they both fit
+
+into the eyes of one face.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll do that to the other two eyes in the
+other face.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you place them, as soon as they
+occur in there, the relief opens in half and you
+
+fall. Make a dexterity saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: Whoopsies.
+
+TRAVIS: Was not anticipating that.
+
+MARISHA: For the boatman.
+
+TRAVIS: He always gets his due.
+
+LIAM: Mama, put the coins in my eyes because I
+sure do not believe what I am seeing.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s an eight.
+
+MATT: That’s an eight!
+
+SAM: As he falls, I throw a piece of feather and I
+cast Feather Fall on him.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, that’s awesome!
+
+MATT: That’s a reaction. What’s the range on
+that?
+
+SAM: 60 feet.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re fine. Fjord suddenly begins to
+disappear, the floor going out underneath. This
+
+looks of fear comes over his eyes as Nott barely
+releases the spell in time, and Fjord goes from
+
+plummeting to gently falling. You glide down, and
+you look down below you into the darkness. You
+
+descend ten, 15, 20–
+
+MARISHA: Beau hollers out: Hey, I think you
+figured out that puzzle!
+
+TALIESIN: We should probably put a light in
+there.
+
+LIAM: Caleb doesn’t say anything or move at all,
+but he’s thoroughly impressed with Nott, by the way.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Me too.
+
+MATT: About 30 feet down, you see something
+rapidly coming up below you. Looks like a floor or
+
+a surface, though it is somewhat amorphous and
+jumbled that it looks hard to see any sort of
+
+shape to it.
+
+TRAVIS: Are things moving?
+
+LIAM: I will send two of my globules down after
+him.
+
+MATT: Okay. With your low light vision, looking
+down below, eventually your feet land. It’s soft
+
+and crunchy as your feet land. You glance down and
+the smell gets you immediately. It’s a heavy smell
+
+of decay, of dust, and ash. You look down below
+and your are sunken into a pile of long-rotting
+
+clothing. Occasionally, your foot hits something
+that cracks, and you can see some charred bones
+
+that remain within.
+
+LAURA: Charred?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: This is how they clean the room.
+
+LIAM: How far down is that? Does everybody see?
+
+MATT: It’s about 30-35 feet down.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to take a rope out of my bag and
+wrap it around a pillar.
+
+MATT: Okay. You take it and tie it off to the
+side.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, do you see anything cool down
+there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. There’s a bunch of old clothes. It
+smells awful down here.
+
+LAURA: Does anybody have weapons or coins on
+them?
+
+TRAVIS: I haven’t really looked. I still got this
+damn bronze rod with me, too, so I got to find my
+
+way out of here.
+
+LAURA: We’ll get you out. Just look for something
+cool, though.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I throw the torch down there?
+
+MATT: Yeah. As you–
+
+ASHLEY: Fjord.
+
+MATT: You hear your name and you look up just as
+the torch–
+
+TRAVIS: Okay!
+
+MATT: You reach up and try and grab it. Catch it,
+(fumbling).
+
+MARISHA: Let it fall!
+
+TRAVIS: Falls in the clothes, I start burning
+alive.
+
+SAM: A rope?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: We already have a rope down.
+
+ASHLEY: I put a rope down.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I look around, see if there are any
+weapons or objects?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is travelling down the rope that Yasha
+dropped.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. That’s great. Natural 19. That’s a
+21.
+
+MATT: 21?! You guys hear the sound of shifting and
+clattering of material and bone-like objects
+
+against each other and the stone side of the
+chamber. You, Fjord, begin to pour through. You’re
+
+tugging through the clothing that’s here has been
+slowly rotting over time, the material coming
+
+apart. As you pull it apart, you see the tunics
+and the pantaloons, and all the different pieces
+
+of clothing that are in here pull apart almost as
+your fingers go into it. There’s no remaining
+
+flesh. The decay smell is not fresh decay. It’s
+old, stagnant, long past sealed decay. As you pull
+
+through, you do find some pieces of silver and
+gold jewelry. They’re tucked in pockets of some of
+
+this clothing. You can see one skeletal wrist that
+has this really nice-looking bracelet with a chain
+
+that goes around the center finger but the bone is
+snapped off, and the bone itself is still charred
+
+black around most sides. Only a little bit of
+grayish white peeks through in places as you rub
+
+your finger over it. There are some pieces of
+jewelry here that’s probably worth a little bit of
+
+money. Because you rolled that high, you also pull
+through, in one of the pockets, you can see a
+
+small leather case about that wide, with the lid
+that’s burnt. As you pull it, it tears off
+
+entirely. Looking inside, there’s a very thin,
+diamond shaped vial. You pull it out and shake it.
+
+It has a stopper on it that looks either a rubber
+or a coated cork that is buttoned on one side that
+
+is built into the actual crystal container’s cap.
+You watch it, swish around, holding the torch up
+
+to it, it has a brackish dark brown/black tint to
+it like thick sludge pond water.
+
+LIAM: I would’ve gotten down the rope at this
+point, and seeing Fjord examine that, I cast
+
+Detect Magic instantly.
+
+MATT: Okay. It is definitely magical.
+
+LIAM: Okay. What kind?
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: What kind?
+
+LIAM: I’m allowed to know. It’s in the book.
+
+LAURA: You can ask nicely.
+
+MATT: I would say abjuration.
+
+LIAM: What’s in the fucking potion, Matt?
+
+MATT: You have to identify it to find out.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I’ll take some of the nice jewelry
+and stuff like that and the little vial. Are there
+
+any other doors or entrances or shoots?
+
+MATT: No. It ends here. There is a pit and you
+finally reached the bottom after pulling through.
+
+You’ve probably gone through about 40 or so
+equivalent outfits.
+
+LIAM: Does Detect Magic uncover anything else
+besides what he’s already looking through?
+
+MATT: No. Just the vial that he discovered.
+
+LAURA: Everybody else was resting up top while–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, short rest.
+
+MAISHA: Ooh, can we do that?
+
+MATT: If you guys want to take a short rest, about
+an hour or so to take a moment and take a
+
+breather. Use your hit dice.
+
+LIAM: Oh, an hour.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay because I don’t get my spells
+back with rests, so that’s really good that I used
+
+it and everything.
+
+SAM: I appreciate it.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, hold that up for me so I can tell you
+what it is. I will spend the next 10 minutes, with
+
+Fjord sitting in front of me and me looking at it
+and doing the ritual.
+
+MATT: Well, you guys haven’t taken a short rest
+yet. They’re taking a short rest. You can go
+
+upstairs if you want to.
+
+LIAM: You want to rest first or do you want me to
+tell you what it is now?
+
+TRAVIS: You can tell me what it is now.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so 10 minutes that takes. Identify.
+
+MATT: All right, that is a potion of necrotic
+resistance.
+
+LIAM: Well, I don’t have it. You have it.
+
+TRAVIS: “When you drink this potion, you gain
+resistance to necrotic damage for one hour.” Nice.
+
+Cool.
+
+MARISHA: Whenever we get done with the short rest,
+can Beau start peeking through and digging away at
+
+the collapsed entrance into that tunnel?
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an athletics check.
+
+SAM: I sewed my thumb back on.
+
+MATT: Okay. Ten minutes pass. You guys climb back
+up out of the pit?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys head up and join. The rest of
+them are going to be resting for the next 45 or so
+
+minutes. You can join them if you want them to
+wait for you as well.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to, yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys complete a short rest as
+well. Go for it.
+
+LIAM: Arcane recovery.
+
+MATT: While you guys are finishing that up, Beau
+is rummaging through the rubble.
+
+MARISHA: It wasn’t good. Six. Slow going.
+
+MATT: You spend about 30 minutes or so, and you
+maybe get about two feet into the rubble, and
+
+you’re not sure how far back it goes. A lot of the
+stones now you’re getting to are now too big for
+
+you to move.
+
+MARISHA: Was there a little crawl space at the top
+that we could crawl through?
+
+MATT: No. The ceiling caved in on that side.
+
+MARISHA: Well. It’s just me and I rolled shitty.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys have all taken your time
+to short rest–
+
+SAM: We’ve also discovered that Ashley has more
+dice than Laura, apparently.
+
+ASHLEY: No, I don’t!
+
+SAM: What is this? What is this gigantic box of
+dice?
+
+ASHLEY: Listen, she has a whole duffel bag.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but she doesn’t use those. These are
+all active for tonight!
+
+ASHLEY: Listen! I like to have all my options.
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: This is terrible.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not all my fault.
+
+TALIESIN: I believe in you. This is fine.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: She needs better organization.
+
+ASHLEY: I need better organization.
+
+LAURA: You got to divide them out.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we make our way back downstairs to
+see what this rod does in the little hole?
+
+SAM: I thought we were supposed to turn the
+ceiling from up here, no?
+
+TALIESIN: How big are the bevels, that have
+the relief of the 12–?
+
+MATT: They’re about that big in the bottom,
+and about a heavy bowl size.
+
+LAURA: I think the corkscrew’s going to stick in
+the hole and move the whole room or something.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the eyes were for uncovering all that
+death underneath our feet.
+
+MARISHA: The ceiling is through here and it’s
+blocked by a bunch of rubble. We can try and dig
+
+through it if we think something should be up
+there.
+
+SAM: No, we should use the stairs.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: So what are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re going to go back downstairs.
+
+LAURA: We can try to move some of the rubble?
+
+MARISHA: I’ve been, like small boulders. I’ve been
+(struggling).
+
+MATT: So you’re taking the rod, and you guys are
+heading downstairs?
+
+TALIESIN: And the bowls.
+
+MATT: Using the bowls as well. Okay. You have the
+three urn vases.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm–hmm. Clean them off a bit.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, you can, of course, stick that thing
+in the hole in that bottom room if you want, but
+
+if you like, my man Schmidt could do it, with
+little risk to the rest of us. If you like.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah. Give him a shot.
+
+LIAM: We should all stand back. Better safe than
+sorry.
+
+LAURA: Do we know which way we’re turning
+everything now?
+
+TRAVIS, TALIESIN, and LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, everybody knows it already.
+
+SAM: I don’t know. It seems like they know, they
+decided without us.
+
+LAURA: But why did you decide the way that you’re
+saying it?
+
+LIAM: Well look here, now that we’re back peering
+through the doorway at this. We have this star on
+
+that corner, and if you would rotate– we don’t
+know what we’re rotating is the thing.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re hoping that we’ll get it to turn.
+
+MARISHA: If the thing goes two clicks– correct,
+it goes there.
+
+LIAM: We’re saying that’s the idea because there’s
+a diamond to a diamond, and a star to a star, and
+
+a triangle of dots to that triangle.
+
+LAURA: Yeah I like the way you guys think, that
+sounds smart.
+
+SAM: So smart.
+
+LIAM: Well I bumped up to 20.
+
+LAURA: So that’s evocation you guys, and
+divination, and necromancy.
+
+LIAM: Edubation. It’s critical.
+
+MARISHA: So wait, divination, evocation,
+necromancy.
+
+SAM: That’s dead things, good things, and
+in-between things?
+
+MARISHA: And elemental things, right? Isn’t
+evocation–
+
+LIAM: Evocation is destruction.
+
+MARISHA: Fire, lightning, elemental things.
+
+MATT: You guys descend the staircase, find your
+way to the base floor. You head to the hallway
+
+where you had previously disabled the traps and
+carefully step across each threshold without
+
+issue, they still remain disabled.
+
+SAM: I did that.
+
+MATT: You make your way into the central octagonal
+chamber. What would you like to do?
+
+LIAM: I’m casting, in an instant, Unseen Servant.
+Schmidt is here with us.
+
+MATT: Schmidt appears, unseen.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, hold out your magic whatsit there. I
+command Fjord to give that to Schmidt, Schmidt
+
+takes it.
+
+TRAVIS: I refuse your command and I give it to
+Schmidt willingly.
+
+LIAM: The spell runs out–
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I ask Schmidt to insert the spirally staff
+into the Laura Bailey hole in the center of the dais.
+
+MATT: You watch as the rod gingerly drifts over to
+the center place, slips in, locks into place.
+
+MARISHA: Something bad might happen once we turn
+this, so be on guard.
+
+LIAM: It is true, that’s why we’re hanging back
+behind the door. Do we think we should go
+
+clockwise or counter-clockwise?
+
+TRAVIS: Counter-clockwise.
+
+LIAM: Schmidt, please revolve that staff
+counter-clockwise please.
+
+MATT: Nothing moves.
+
+LIAM: Well, try it clockwise then, Schmidt.
+
+MATT: Nothing moves.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s a lot of bollocks then.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it’s got to be a real person. Maybe
+you have to cast a spell that has to do with the
+
+class of magic!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got an idea. I’m going to start
+rocking upstairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Rocking upstairs?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m walking upstairs.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to join Molly, I think someone
+needs to be upstairs. You guys stay.
+
+MATT: Molly, you have the bowls right?
+
+TALIESIN: I have the bowls.
+
+MATT: Beau and Molly head back up the stairs.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a look at that
+purple– is there only one of those little purple
+
+glowing rocks that seems to be creating light?
+
+MATT: As you look going through, you see there are
+a few other stone cages that have been opened and
+
+left empty. That is one that has not been
+removed.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to open it and I will– I’m
+going to poke at it to see if it seems trapped or anything.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+16.
+
+MATT: Does not appear to be trapped.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to open it and grab the stone
+out.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check to try and wedge it
+from the stone it’s attached to.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a six.
+
+MATT: (grunting) It’s not budging. Your lithe
+tiefling form is not quite sturdy enough to pull
+
+it from the stone.
+
+LIAM: Dance it out of there.
+
+TALIESIN: Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you punch this?
+
+MARISHA: I got you one better. I’ll shove in my
+staff and push against the pillar and use it as
+
+leverage, see if I can pry it open.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yeah, I’ll give you that. Make a
+dexterity check. Finding the proper point of
+
+leverage to push on.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, natural 18. 22.
+
+MATT: The metal actually unhinges and the stone
+plummets out, you catch it.
+
+MARISHA: You see this is like a simple– sorry,
+it’s like a simple tool. Sorry, I drooled a little.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that your new nickname?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Simple tool.
+
+MARISHA: You know what? That’s fair, I’ll take
+that. That was a good one.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, you did do this. I won’t tell
+anyone, come on.
+
+MARISHA: It was a good jab.
+
+TALIESIN: We walk back down with it. Beau
+retrieved this, maybe? We’ve got a glowing rock.
+
+I’m going to put it in the room, see if anything
+happens.
+
+MATT: No reaction.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got these bowls, I’m going to put
+the bowls, gingerly, I’m going to put one of the
+
+bowls on one of the symbols to see what happens.
+
+MATT: Okay, which symbol?
+
+TALIESIN: Put it– middle of the star.
+
+MATT: Okay. Place it in the middle of the star.
+The metal bowl sits there, the fine engravings of
+
+all the symbols on the inside of each bowl don’t
+seem to react.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and move the bowl to
+match the engravings in the ceiling.
+
+MATT: Okay, you have three bowls, and each bowl
+contains all eight symbols in the inside, so it’s
+
+hard to match them per se.
+
+LAURA: Cast a spell on one of the bowls!
+
+SAM: Why don’t we try a person to use the rod
+first before we start wasting spells?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah okay, I’ll walk up and I’ll grab the
+rod.
+
+SAM: You’re weak, shouldn’t we use a strong
+person?
+
+MATT: The rod doesn’t shift.
+
+TRAVIS: It doesn’t move.
+
+MATT: You move it the other way and it comes out,
+you have to put it back in and lock it into place,
+
+but it doesn’t seem to shift or move.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the the top of the rod again? The
+top of that little spiral.
+
+MATT: It’s a small little metallic knob at the
+end.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to examine it, anything
+interesting about it? Just a small metallic knob?
+
+MATT: Best you can look at it, it doesn’t have any
+markings on it or anything unique, it’s just a
+
+solid round knob end.
+
+TALIESIN: Like a lightning rod?
+
+MATT: Something like that.
+
+SAM: Yasha, you’re strong. Why don’t you go try
+and twist the thing?
+
+ASHLEY: All right, I’ll give it a try.
+
+MATT: You spend a good two minutes shifting on the
+rod the opposite direction where it locks. No movement.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we think we need to cast unique spells
+into those bowls for each of the three schools of
+
+magic? Which is what Jester said.
+
+MARISHA: We heard you.
+
+LAURA: (angrily) No, it’s fine!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m trying to figure out, how do you cast
+necrotic damage on a bowl?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, I could Inflict Wounds on it
+or something, or Toll the Dead on the bowl.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to Inflict Wounds on one of
+them?
+
+LAURA: Well no, I’m going to use a cantrip because
+it’s better. So I’m going to Toll the Dead on–
+
+SAM: What is it? Evocation?
+
+LAURA: Necrotic, divination, and evocation. So
+I’ll try to Toll the Dead on one of the bowls, the
+
+one that is sitting on the diamond.
+
+MATT: You cast Toll the Dead. The dark arcane
+energy from Toll the Dead begins to gather around
+
+the hand of Jester, and as you release the spell
+you watch this burst of necrotic energy siphon
+
+back and immediately attach itself to the very top
+of this metallic rod.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: It’s absorbed and there’s a moment of pause
+before you feel (banging sound).
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s do the other two.
+
+LAURA: Wait, is it turning?
+
+MATT: You hear a shifting of stone– this faint
+slithering sound begins to fill the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Other two! Or maybe not.
+
+MATT: The slithering stops. (booming) You watch as
+your eyes catch something shift above you. That
+
+large square pillar that was locked in the
+ceiling, that dome underneath it opened up and a
+
+strange, translucent, cube-like creature comes
+descending from the center. I need you guys all to
+
+roll initiative.
+
+(yelling)
+
+LIAM: Not a gelatinous cube!
+
+TRAVIS: Did we pick the form of our killer?
+
+LIAM: A gelatinous cube!
+
+MARISHA: Wait, but you did necromantic, right?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: Wait, if we had picked a different magic
+would a different monster–
+
+TRAVIS: I think so.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe it’s a trial, maybe we have to
+fight all of them!
+
+LIAM: We might need to do all three at the same
+time?
+
+MATT: (impact)
+
+(screaming)
+
+LIAM: Guys, fucking focus!
+
+Focus!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to use my boots at this point.
+
+LAURA: See, this is why I shouldn’t have used my
+spell!
+
+LIAM: No more dick jokes! Focus on the cube.
+
+LAURA: That wasn’t a dick joke!
+
+SAM: Everything’s a dick joke with you, Laura.
+
+MATT: All right, guys. So let me pull out the
+gelatinous cube stat block here.
+
+LIAM: This is dangerous!
+
+MATT: That is a super low initiative. That is a
+zero initiative for the gelatinous cube. Four
+
+minus four. Initiative, 25 to 20.
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+LIAM: 21!
+
+MATT: Nice! Caleb coming around, finally. Then
+Jester. 20 to 15.
+
+TALIESIN: Crickets.
+
+MARISHA: 20 to 15?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Negative, no.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA and ASHLEY: 12.
+
+MARISHA: Sentinel bitches!
+
+MATT: Beau and Yasha. Ten to five?
+
+TRAVIS: Seven.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, how do you fight a gelatinous
+cube?
+
+LIAM: You die.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to!
+
+MARISHA: They suck you up.
+
+LAURA: I know!
+
+MARISHA: It’s bad.
+
+LAURA: But I don’t know how to defeat them!
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know!
+
+MATT: As it slid into the ground, it completely
+consumed the rod and immediately begins to move
+
+its way forward ever so slowly in your direction
+of the cluster group. That being the case, top of
+
+the round we have Caleb, you’re first. By the way,
+where do you want your kitty?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin, or–?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin can be, oh jeez, right behind me is
+fine.
+
+MATT: There you go. What are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to use all my movement to move
+back towards the doorway as best I can.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+LIAM: Ja. As I am doing so, I am pulling a small
+clay cat paw out of my hand. I mutter a few arcane
+
+words and I cast Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp. A wad
+of soil forms out the ground and a cat’s paw rises
+
+up and reaches out and swats at the gelatinous
+cube.
+
+MATT: All right, so it makes a strength saving
+throw.
+
+LIAM: Ja, that’s correct, against my DC of 15.
+
+MATT: Natural one.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Number five tonight?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LIAM: On a failed save the target takes 2d6
+bludgeoning damage, so that is a seven and it’s
+
+restrained for the spell’s duration. So it attacks
+at disadvantage and you attack at advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+MARISHA: We attack at advantage? For how long?
+
+LIAM: There is a giant, earthen cat’s claw holding
+it on the corner.
+
+TRAVIS: Zero speed, or slow speed?
+
+SAM: It can be restrained, that thing?
+
+LAURA: Can it? By magic, maybe.
+
+MATT: Yeah, magic holds it in place.
+
+TRAVIS: So it’s zero speed, it doesn’t go
+anywhere?
+
+LIAM: Restrained, it’s the restrained condition.
+
+MATT: Correct, yep, for the spell’s duration.
+
+LAURA: How long does the spell last?
+
+MATT: One minute.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Is it concentration?
+
+LIAM: Yes, it is.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t break that concentration!
+
+MATT: This giant cat paw has grasped around and is
+holding the cube in place, its claws dug into it,
+
+made of earth and dirt and stone.
+
+LIAM: I have a question, is there any light in
+here at all?
+
+MATT: Aside from the torch that Yasha has, no.
+
+LIAM: Okay so there’s dim light then, from the
+torch.
+
+MATT: There is, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Because my globules are gone.
+
+MATT: Yes, they are very gone. Well, the torch has
+been your main light source since you–
+
+LIAM: That’s correct, thank you. Okay. And then I
+sit.
+
+SAM: You’re going to sit on the floor?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You want Frumpkin to move anywhere?
+
+LIAM: Say again?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin’s still back here.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin can do whatever. Frumpkin will run
+towards Jester and get between– where’s Nott?
+
+MATT: Nott is over there.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin will stand between Jester and the
+cube.
+
+MATT: All righty, that ends Caleb’s turn. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Is this considered a monstrosity?
+
+MATT: No, it is not. It is considered an ooze.
+
+TRAVIS: An ooze?
+
+MARISHA: Jell-o!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to back up away from it.
+
+ASHLEY: Kill the box, Jester.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use the Sacred Flame cantrip
+because I figure it’s not very dextrous.
+
+LIAM: Everybody has advantage on attack rolls.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a three. What’s the
+damage on that?
+
+LAURA: It’s a 1d8 radiant damage.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Six!
+
+MATT: Six points of radiant damage. As this flame
+bursts at the side of it, part of it jello-wiggles
+
+for a second.
+
+LAURA: Did it look like it did anything to it?
+
+MATT: It looked like it hurt it maybe, but it just
+looks like it’s a big gelatinous cube.
+
+TALIESIN: The radiant didn’t seem to have an extra
+effect then?
+
+MATT: No, it did not.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right, end of Jester’s turn. Beau and
+Yasha, you guys are up.
+
+LIAM: Beauyasha. Do it up.
+
+ASHLEY: Lady.
+
+MARISHA: Do we just slap jello?
+
+ASHLEY: I think.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do a full-on–
+
+LIAM: Jello shots!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, doing a full-on jello shot.
+
+MATT: Moving into it to assault it? Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good, that’s an 18! Plus six, so
+24?
+
+MATT: That definitely hits.
+
+MARISHA: Seven plus four, 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage?
+
+LIAM: You did it at advantage?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LIAM: Go for the 20!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’ll go for the 20, in case I roll
+a natural 20. I did not roll a natural 20.
+
+MATT: So 11 points of damage with your hit as you
+slam it with the side of your staff. It shivers
+
+and shakes at the impact and your staff slides
+through and barely emerges through the opposite
+
+side of it, seemingly closing around and reforming
+where the gap was carved through.
+
+MARISHA: Does it feel like I did some damage?
+
+MATT: Maybe.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’ll take my bonus and whack. Or
+you know what? Yeah, I’m going to whack it.
+
+MATT: All right, so you’re going to punch it.
+
+SAM, LAURA, and MARISHA: Slap that jello.
+
+TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Slap-a the bass!
+
+MARISHA: That’s good! That’s 21.
+
+LAURA: Is there something in it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, bones.
+
+MARISHA: Six damage.
+
+TRAVIS: There is something in it!
+
+MATT: Six damage, all right. As you sock it with
+your fist, it quakes. As you pull your hand back,
+
+your whole hand goes numb.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+MATT: All feeling is lost from almost partway down
+your arm, and you’re like, oh, that’s–
+
+MARISHA: It’s like that pins and needles thing?
+
+ASHLEY: It’s a weird feeling?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, like, dead arm. It’s a little
+dead.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you staying next to it or you–
+
+LAURA: Back away from it. What if a tentacle comes
+out of it or something?
+
+MARISHA: Where’s Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Your right.
+
+MARISHA: Can I go around near Frumpkin and flank
+it?
+
+MATT: You can move around–
+
+MARISHA: That’s good. That’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Don’t step on my cat.
+
+MATT: All righty. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’m going to rage? I would like to
+rage. Well wait, maybe I don’t really need to do
+
+that because we have advantage anyway.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, you don’t need to.
+
+LAURA: There’s no harm in raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Divine Fury.
+
+MATT: Are you moving in to assault it?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep.
+
+LAURA: Assault it!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to do that again.
+
+LAURA: Advantage. She has advantage because–
+
+MATT: Oh, right. Because the–
+
+ASHLEY: Eight!
+
+MATT: Still hits.
+
+ASHLEY: It still hits?!
+
+LAURA: It’s a cube!
+
+MATT: It’s not hard to hit. It’s a giant,
+quivering cube. Roll damage. 2d6 plus five plus
+
+your 1d6 plus two, I think?
+
+LAURA: Did she get– oh, nevermind.
+
+MATT: 3d6 plus seven.
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+SAM: Because it’s her strength?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s more than that!
+
+ASHLEY: It is?
+
+LAURA: Here’s ten, plus five, 15.
+
+MATT: 15 plus two for rage, three for strength,
+and plus two for your–
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+TRAVIS: 22, 24.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Wait. 21.
+
+MATT: 21 points of damage. As you carve through,
+you actually watch a corner of it slide off and
+
+turn to sludge and water on the ground. Your blade
+cuts through a section of it and (wet wobbling sound).
+
+ASHLEY: Nothing.
+
+MATT: No, it hurt it.
+
+LAURA: 22.
+
+ASHLEY: It did?
+
+SAM: You did great!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: Way to go, Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: But what– I don’t see anything
+happening!
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a big cube of sludge.
+
+ASHLEY: Did it change shape at all?
+
+MATT: No, it’s still cubic. You carved through a
+portion of it. All right, does that finish your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to back up a little bit.
+
+MATT: All right, so you want to back up a little
+bit? As you pull back a little bit, it gets one
+
+swing at you with a pseudopod. Part of it–
+
+LIAM: At disadvantage!
+
+MATT: –(sploosh) swings out at you– yes, it
+does.
+
+MARISHA: And I hit it with Sentinel!
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: At advantage!
+
+MATT: It rolled pretty well for having
+disadvantage. That would be a total of 16 to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Yasha!
+
+LAURA: Stupid cube!
+
+MATT: You take 13 points of acid damage, as it
+slams into you and begins to burn the skin.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that get halved because of raging?
+
+MATT: Acid damage is not halved, unfortunately.
+And you strike it?
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a 15.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Six damage.
+
+MATT: Six damage? All righty.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. These are all my unarmed strikes,
+yeah?
+
+MATT: Yes. You punch with your other hand and now
+both of your hands are numb and you’re like, “Ugh!”
+
+MARISHA: I hate that feeling!
+
+TRAVIS: Novocaine hands?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Your whole torso, Yasha, is burning, and
+underneath the burning pain you feel numbness
+
+under your chin and your tongue’s going a little
+(lolling).
+
+LAURA: Oh no! Is she poisoned?
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try, just for shits and
+giggles, I’m going to activate the ice damage on
+
+my sword. I’m going to run up– where am I? Over
+there? I’m going to run up, take a swing at that corner–
+
+MATT: Okay, you dash up to its side there.
+
+TALIESIN: So that’s 14 to hit.
+
+MATT: 14 hits!
+
+TALIESIN: I know, it’s like, just in case, I will
+be the one to miss. And that’s six plus one ice,
+
+so that’s seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven damage, nice. You strike through and
+the ice crystallizes inside. As you cut through,
+
+the liquid and the moisture (shattering) leaves
+this–
+
+TRAVIS: Like ballistic gel?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Stuck in the inside. So that’s one
+carved through.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s my bonus to activate it.
+
+MATT: Right, so it’s your one strike.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to back off into the corner
+then.
+
+MATT: It already used its reaction.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, so I’m using that.
+
+MATT: You strike and then dart back, jump to the
+back of the room getting ready for you next round.
+
+That finishes Molly’s round. Nott and Fjord,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Ladies first.
+
+SAM: Yes, I feel so conflicted trying to hurt a
+cube. But I will. I will bash that cube until it
+
+explodes all over the place. Wait.
+
+TALIESIN: Whoa!
+
+SAM: I rolled a natural 20 to attack with my hand
+crossbow.
+
+MATT: Roll damage on that.
+
+SAM: With sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Technically, yes, you have Beau.
+
+SAM: And it’s crit so double?
+
+MATT: Double dice and then add your dexterity
+modifier.
+
+SAM: 24, plus–
+
+28.
+
+MATT: Shit!
+
+SAM: Oh, and I’ll use Fury of the Small to make it
+30!
+
+LIAM: I want to roll a rogue right now!
+
+LAURA: I know, right?
+
+MATT: Is it half your level, or is it your level?
+
+SAM: Fury of the Small. Let me look.
+
+MATT: It’s damage equal to your level, right?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: That’s an additional four so that’s 32
+damage.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit!
+
+LIAM: That builds, goblin?
+
+SAM: Class features.
+
+MATT: I’m pretty sure it’s equal to your level.
+
+SAM: I’m looking.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it racial features or class
+features?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I’ll look it up later!
+
+TALIESIN: It would be racial features.
+
+SAM: For which archetype? Spellcasting, Mage Hand?
+Oh shit, I should’ve used Mage Hand before!
+
+MATT: (laughs) Remember, that’s actually your
+archetype.
+
+SAM: I don’t know what I should be doing!
+
+TALIESIN: Class features.
+
+MATT: Regardless, you did a lot of damage to it,
+so 32 with your level added to it, as you strike
+
+it with your crossbow.
+
+SAM: Okay. Then I will move around that way, yes,
+as far as possible.
+
+MATT: 30.
+
+SAM: And I’ll shoot again. Why not? With advantage
+still?
+
+LIAM: It’s restrained.
+
+SAM: 18 plus a lot.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Seven more points of damage.
+
+MATT: 39 points of damage in one round of combat.
+Not too bad!
+
+ASHLEY: Nicely done!
+
+LIAM: Low-level rogue! High-level rogue, eh, but
+low-level rogue is sick.
+
+LAURA: High-level rogue was still pretty cool.
+
+MARISHA: What was it, like 79 points of damage you
+did in one round?
+
+LIAM: One time.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that was great.
+
+MATT: That ends Nott’s turn. Fjord, what are you
+doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to use my speed to run on this
+side of the cube closer to you, as far back
+
+against that wall as possible.
+
+MATT: 25. Right there. 30 will be all the way
+back.
+
+TRAVIS: 30’s perfect. Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: At advantage. That’s cocked. That natural
+19’s not bad, though.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. Ten plus four, that’s 14 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage. This thing is just
+getting hit with crossbow bolts and the blasts on
+
+the sides of it. It’s taking damage, but it’s a
+hardy mass of slime and gelatin.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a hardy mallow.
+
+MATT: Indeed. That finish your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it does.
+
+MATT: All righty, it’s now the gelatinous cube’s
+turn. It’s going to attempt to break free of the
+
+large Earthen Paw.
+
+TALIESIN: At disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s not disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Just for attacks.
+
+MATT: That is going to be– what save?
+
+LIAM: 15 for me.
+
+MATT: It’s a strength check. So that would be plus
+two, that’s a 15.
+
+LIAM: Gott verdammt! It’s out.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, it breaks free?!
+
+TRAVIS: No, I thought it was going to stay there!
+
+LAURA: Beau’s right next to it. It’s going to
+slurp you.
+
+LIAM: Does that mean it’s not restrained?
+
+MATT: No, it can still move as part of its
+action.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit!
+
+LAURA: Half of its movement.
+
+MATT: It’s going to (squelching).
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Who’s it going for?!
+
+LIAM: Who’s it getting? My cat?! You
+motherfucker!
+
+(screaming and laughter)
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+LIAM: I mean, I’m assuming it takes like four
+points of damage immediately, my cat.
+
+TRAVIS: How many hit points does it have?
+
+LIAM: Three? It’s gone instantly!
+
+MARISHA: Did any of that trigger my sentinel?
+
+MATT: Your cat moved aside. I did that to fuck
+with you. Its engulf is an action, and it already
+
+used an action to break free. But it did move over
+and you guys basically moved out of the way. It’s
+
+now right next to both Beau and Jester.
+
+MARISHA: It didn’t move out of my range at all?
+
+MATT: It did not. You’ve already used your
+reaction anyway.
+
+SAM: Can I say that it looks like that artisanal
+ice that you get at really classy bars, and now
+
+I’m really thirsty for like a scotch.
+
+MATT: That’s going to end its turn. That brings us
+to the top of the round. That is Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I believe my Cat’s Paw is still in existence
+and would like to try to do the same shit.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: So. (swiping) (meow) 15. It can move as
+well.
+
+SAM: It’s like Bigby’s Paw?
+
+LIAM: It is.
+
+MATT: You can move it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I can.
+
+TRAVIS: Bigby’s Dirty, Dirty Cat Paw?
+
+LIAM: Looking it up.
+
+MATT: Reaches for one creature it can see within
+five feet of it.
+
+LIAM: Did it get five feet? It was five feet in
+front of it and it moved that way. It would’ve
+
+been right in front of it.
+
+MATT: Sure, we’ll go for it.
+
+LIAM: All right, so DC 15.
+
+MATT: DC 15 on what? What’s the save on it?
+
+LIAM: It’s strength.
+
+MATT: Right, strength again. That’s a 14 plus two,
+16.
+
+LIAM: Aw, it doesn’t do it. Great. I will use the
+rest of my movement to move another ten feet back
+
+in the hallway I’m in.
+
+MATT: Okay. Slowly backing away. As you step on
+that platform back there, you feel it buzz for a
+
+second, and nearby you hear this whining of metal
+against metal as the trap is still broken but
+
+waiting. That ends Caleb’s go. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, and it’s right next to me now? Oh
+god! Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: (sings) It’s right next to me now!
+
+LAURA: Ooh, I’m going to cast Toll the Dead on it.
+
+MATT: All right. Save on that is constitution?
+
+LAURA: It’s a wisdom save!
+
+MATT: Wisdom save! That is strangely a 14.
+
+LAURA: Also 14.
+
+MATT: Oh shit, yeah. 16 minus 2. So no effect.
+
+LAURA: Balls. Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, don’t you get an advant– no.
+
+TALIESIN: Advantage is over.
+
+LAURA: Okay, then I guess I’m going to (singing)
+try to back away from it.
+
+MATT: Which way?
+
+LAURA: Towards Fjord.
+
+MATT: Towards Fjord? So you’re going to back away
+here?
+
+LAURA: A little further if I can, please.
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+LAURA: Because it probably can’t move very far.
+
+MATT: It’s going to swing at you with its
+pseudopod as you move out of its range. That’s a
+
+natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Bitch of a fucking marshmallow!
+
+MATT: That’s some good rolls in the past couple of
+rounds. That’s going to be– ooh! 32 points of
+
+acid damage.
+
+ALL: Oh!
+
+SAM: That’s all the points!
+
+LIAM: She’s out!
+
+LAURA: I’m out. I’m unconscious.
+
+LIAM: Was she absorbed?
+
+MATT: I rolled– it’s 3d6. Six, four, six,
+doubled.
+
+LIAM: Is she absorbed?
+
+LAURA and MATT: No.
+
+MARISHA: It got a natural 20.
+
+MATT: Not at the moment. So you are unconscious
+right next to–
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, but she wasn’t that close to him!
+
+LAURA: I was.
+
+MATT: She tried to move away.
+
+ASHLEY: Shit.
+
+MATT: So it hits you from behind, and the last
+thing you feel is numbness overtake your body as
+
+darkness clouds around your eyes and you are out.
+
+SAM: Jester, like all beautiful women, succumbed
+to the cube.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: What?!
+
+LAURA: If I die tonight, when I decided to come
+and play even though I’m coughing–
+
+MATT: I’m sorry. That ends Jester’s turn. That
+brings us to Beau and Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: And that, I wouldn’t have– Okay. I
+already got my one reaction?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s your turn.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like that was before, though, the
+one reaction.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m coming for her.
+
+MARISHA: The first one. With it being one more
+round, do I have a reaction?
+
+MATT: No, because that was happening during–
+That’s since your last turn. So your reaction has
+
+come back now. You don’t get an attack, but now
+you do after this. It’s your turn.
+
+MARISHA: It’s me and Yasha.
+
+SAM: Yasha’s a healer, right?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, didn’t you get Sentinel on it?
+
+MARISHA: I did on the round before. I feel like I
+have one more round but I don’t think I did. Did
+
+you, though? Because it moved out of your range!
+
+MATT: It did, but you guys have the same
+initiative round. So you used your reaction on
+
+your turn last round to hit it, as she was running
+away, and now it’s reset to this round.
+
+MARISHA: But did Yasha?
+
+MATT: Yasha hasn’t, no. Yasha ran out of range and
+hasn’t been able to use her reaction to hit since then.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, she ran out of range. Okay.
+
+MATT: That’s how you got the attack on it. She ran
+away and it hit her, and then you got a shot.
+
+MARISHA: I was thinking there was another round in
+between that. I’m going to lay into it.
+
+MATT: All right. So you’re staying where you are
+and start–
+
+MARISHA: Wait. Wait.
+
+ALL: Wait. Wait. Wait.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to die, you guys.
+
+SAM: You’ll be fine!
+
+LIAM: No, probably you’ll die.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, you already went. You’re going to
+give it to her? Okay. Then I’ll lay into it.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I wanted to make sure someone was
+going to get Jester out.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m leaving her behind.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits!
+
+LAURA: When does the cube go?
+
+TRAVIS: Last.
+
+MARISHA: That’s nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage, nice. As you slap it
+with the side of the bo again, you watch and it
+
+buckles in places.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go ahead and do Flurry of
+Blows for these next two. That’s a natural 18.
+
+MATT: That hits, definitely.
+
+MARISHA: So five points of damage. The second one.
+That’s not great. That’s 11.
+
+MATT: Still hits.
+
+MARISHA: Great, and that’s seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: You’re punching this thing, and you’re
+watching it quiver and part of it is shifting and
+
+it’s looking pretty damaged in spite of its size
+at this point in time, so well done. Yasha, what
+
+are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: All right, I’m going to go up to it. Get
+it sliced. Raging, reckless. Divine– no, I can’t
+
+do divine.
+
+MATT: Yes, every turn you can do it.
+
+ASHLEY: Every turn I can do it.
+
+LIAM: Yasha!
+
+SAM: First roll to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh! First roll to hit.
+
+MATT: With advantage, because you went reckless.
+
+ASHLEY: With advantage. Yeah, 20.
+
+MATT: Roll again, just in case. Reckless is good
+because you have a double chance to critical.
+
+ASHLEY: Don’t ever not do it, okay. 22.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s it. 22 damage. How do you want
+to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Is that your first one?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes!
+
+MATT: You see it being hit by Beau and it’s slowly
+shifting its weight towards the unconscious body
+
+of Jester on the ground. You watch it expanding to
+start pulling her leg inward.
+
+ASHLEY: I take the tip of the sword, and I slowly
+start pushing into the middle and then (sword
+
+slicing across).
+
+MATT: As you push it all the way into the center
+of it, it begins to shake and quiver and begins to
+
+slowly encapsulate your arm and forearm as it
+rises up, and your arm is numb. You shake your
+
+head and cut out to the side, and as you do, you
+watch the side of it splash out, almost like
+
+popping a water balloon. The interior of it turns
+to liquid water and begin to spill out as it
+
+slowly deflates and liquefies across the ground,
+like a jellyfish beached.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I’m stepping in it.
+
+LIAM: Ashley, you just destroyed a classic
+Dungeons & Dragons foe.
+
+(clapping)
+
+MATT: I’ll tell you one thing, that restraint
+saved your fucking ass at the start! It never got
+
+to engulf. Never got a chance to engulf.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll run over, and I’ll kneel down next to
+Jester, and pick up her head and pour a health
+
+potion there.
+
+LIAM: (Imitating Jester) Put your tusk in there,
+Fjord!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh, Oskar.
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+LAURA: Thank you for saving me.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s Fjord.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I mean Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You all right?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Get up, come on, on your feet.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Did we kill it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yup.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I think that was my fault, you
+guys.
+
+TALIESIN: No, these things happen.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything come out of the middle of that
+thing?
+
+MATT: From the middle of it? No, it turns to
+liquid gel.
+
+LIAM: Get my cat out of there.
+
+MATT: One of these days I’ll get to put one of you
+guys in.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, Frumpkin! Hey buddy.
+
+LIAM: From down the hallway you hear: Now the
+question is, if we do the same thing again, will
+
+another one come out? Or do we need to try to hit
+all three at the same time? Let me come in there.
+
+MATT: Actually, I guess I’ll leave this here.
+
+LIAM: Leave it nearby.
+
+MATT: I’ll set it aside.
+
+MARISHA: Well, if you hit all with everything at
+once, then the worst that can happen is that we
+
+have to fight two more things at the same time.
+
+LIAM; Well, Jester did necrotic, and I can
+obviously handle, well, I can handle evocation or–
+
+LAURA: Who has divination, though?
+
+MATT: What you didn’t notice during this process
+was the pillar above, the base re-closed.
+
+MARISHA: So we have to do it all at once.
+
+LIAM: I can do both divination and evocation.
+
+SAM: At the same time?
+
+LIAM: Can you do one of those things?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. You taught me magic. What are
+mine? What are my spells?
+
+LIAM: Well, tell me what you are able to do.
+
+SAM: Here, I’ll show you on D&D Beyond.
+
+TRAVIS: What are the last two? Divination and–
+
+LIAM: Divination and evocation.
+
+LAURA: Does anybody have one of those?
+
+SAM: Most of mine are illusion and something
+else.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you can do evocation with this one–
+
+SAM: Okay, I can do evocation!
+
+LIAM: But you have to get up there, though. You
+have to touch it with that one.
+
+LAURA: Can your mage hand lift you up?
+
+SAM: No. But I can do climb!
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we have to do it in the bowl.
+
+SAM: Or we do it to the rod.
+
+TRAVIS: To the bowl.
+
+LIAM: So you handle evocation. I can handle the
+divination. You handle necrotic.
+
+MATT: Where are the bowls placed right now? On the
+symbols in the center?
+
+SAM: In the hole.
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+SAM: I can do Shocking Grasp as a evocation
+spell.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I have an idea. Maybe we should take
+the bowls outside of the room and cast something
+
+on the bowls and see if one of the symbols on the
+bowls light up. That way, the staff doesn’t absorb
+
+the spell immediately. Because when I cast Toll
+the Dead, I was trying to cast it on the bowl,
+
+right? But instead, my spell went up into the
+middle of the staff. Maybe if we try casting it on
+
+the bowls outside of the room, that won’t happen.
+
+SAM: Can’t we cast it on the staff?
+
+TALIESIN: There is a room outside this room where
+it seems like there was a room for maybe preparing
+
+the bowls?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s do that. Jester, lead the
+way.
+
+LIAM: It is worth a try. Of course it is.
+
+LAURA: Just so we don’t have to fight another
+cube, just in case.
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty good. I have not let go all of my
+preparation for the day.
+
+LAURA: How many points of healing did you give me?
+When you poured the spell in my mouth?
+
+MATT: Was it a regular healing potion?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just regular.
+
+MATT: 2d4 plus two.
+
+LIAM: Is everyone all right?
+
+TRAVIS: Six.
+
+LIAM: Jester, how are you feeling?
+
+LAURA: I’m feeling like I’m a little sick right
+now, but you know.
+
+LIAM: No, not Laura but you: Jester. How are you
+feeling?
+
+LAURA: I’m feel like I’ve got very little health.
+Like I’m bleeding a little bit from my ears.
+
+LIAM: I reach into the satchel on the side.
+
+SAM: No. You keep it. I’ll do it.
+
+LIAM: I give her my potion of healing. Regular
+healing.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, I have healing spells still. It’s
+okay.
+
+LIAM: Well, what are you complaining about then?
+
+LAURA: I wasn’t bitching at all! You asked.
+
+LIAM: That is not the verbiage that I chose at
+all.
+
+SAM and ASHLEY: The “werbage”.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Wubba lubba “werbage”!
+
+LAURA: Let’s fucking go out into this hallway,
+okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Beau and I take the bowls. We head
+out into the hallway.
+
+MATT: You guys head out past the traps, carefully
+stepping across the currently-held traps and you
+
+have the bowls in the far hallway.
+
+LAURA: Should we try casting a spell on one of the
+bowls and see what happens?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We lay all three of them, one, two,
+three, out in a row.
+
+LIAM: Necro, evo, and divination all together.
+
+TRAVIS: Evo, you first. Pick a bowl.
+
+SAM: Wait, no. We have to do it instantaneously.
+
+LAURA: No, we don’t. I don’t think so because
+we’re not in the room anymore so we can try to see
+
+if the bowls do anything.
+
+LIAM: Do you think it would hurt if we did it at
+the same time?
+
+SAM: Yeah, what’s the problem with that?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, try it. We’ll see what happens.
+
+LIAM: Let’s do it at the same time.
+
+SAM: At the count of zwei.
+
+MARISHA: Beau takes off her belt.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast my Spare the Dying
+cantrip.
+
+MATT: Which is?
+
+LAURA: Necromancy.
+
+MATT: Necromancy. You’re casting?
+
+SAM: Shocking Grasp.
+
+MATT: Okay. Which is evocation.
+
+LIAM: Identify, which is divination.
+
+MARISHA: I take off my belt, and I hold it up like
+a rally car racer girl.
+
+(silence)
+
+TRAVIS: We’re waiting.
+
+MARISHA: Three, two, one. (swishing)
+
+SAM: (gibberish)
+
+MATT: You guys all cast your spells. No effect on
+the bowls.
+
+SAM: We have to be in the room!
+
+MATT: It’s hard to see because there’s still the
+ash caked on the inside of it.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I blow on the bowl. Does it look like
+any of the symbols got any brighter?
+
+TALIESIN: I would say the one that I had I
+probably polished up.
+
+MATT: It’s very hard to see with very little light
+in here.
+
+LIAM: Okay. That was good. We checked that box, so
+let’s go back into the room.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+MARISHA: Come on.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s good. It’s 20.
+
+MATT: 20? Very good. There is something bugging
+you in the back of your head. Something that says
+
+the fact that these were urns that carried ash
+speaks to the purpose of these. You can’t make the
+
+connection here, but the fact that each of these
+were filled with ash is bugging you. There’s
+
+something there.
+
+LIAM: The urns, currently, are totally empty?
+
+MATT: They’re totally empty, yes.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we cast it on the rod?
+
+LIAM: I know. I–
+
+LAURA: Do we need to set these on fire?
+
+LIAM: We maybe need to go upstairs and scoop some
+of the dustbuster bullshit into these and bring
+
+them down.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, you want to go cast it on the rod?
+Let’s go. You and me, we’ll do it.
+
+LAURA: You need three spells.
+
+LIAM: No, I’m saying we need to go collect some of
+the ashes of the dead from upstairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Or maybe we need to set them on fire.
+
+LIAM: Something is missing here.
+
+LAURA: We need to set it on fire?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, are they already filled with ash?
+Right now?
+
+MATT: The ash has been mostly cleaned out.
+
+MARISHA: I still have this holy water, too.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you have your torch, and you have your
+spells.
+
+LIAM: It’s possible that we need to burn something
+afresh.
+
+LAURA: Hold the torch under one of the bowls.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I can set things on fire as well. Do
+you want to do one?
+
+LAURA: Just hold it under and see what happens.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it’s easier. I cast Firebolt into one
+of them.
+
+MATT: You cast Firebolt into one of them. The
+flame bursts in there as you guys take the torch
+
+over to the side. As the fire subsides, you see
+each of the symbols, portions of them are left
+
+glowing and slowly fade.
+
+MARISHA: Which ones? Which portions?
+
+MATT: All of them. All the symbols have certain
+parts of them that just glow for a second in the
+
+presence of fire and then fade.
+
+LAURA: Hold the torch under one of them for a long
+time and see what happens.
+
+MATT: Who’s going to hold the bowl?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll hold the bowl. I’m resistant to
+fire.
+
+MATT: You take the bowl, and you hold it out
+there. It hurts a little but as you hold the torch
+
+underneath, it begins to light up. You watch as
+the symbols begin to glow on the inside of these
+
+metal inscribed bits.
+
+TALIESIN: Look at this.
+
+LAURA: Woah! Here we go.
+
+SAM: So creepy.
+
+TALIESIN: There we are.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+SAM: What? Parts of the symbols are glowing more.
+
+LAURA: We were wrong about what we needed to
+cast.
+
+LIAM: Just to note, Schmidt is still here with us.
+If we need anyone to hold anything that’s dangerous–
+
+LAURA: That’s that one.
+
+TALIESIN: We need– transmutation–
+
+LAURA: What is this?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s–
+
+LAURA: Illusion! We need an illusion.
+
+SAM: I know those!
+
+TALIESIN: And we need enchantment.
+
+LAURA: Transmutation–
+
+TALIESIN: Illusion and enchantment.
+
+MARISHA: And enchantment.
+
+LAURA: I have an enchantment.
+
+LIAM: I have transmutation.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s fine writing around the square.
+That’s not just a shape. See this writing in here?
+
+SAM: I know an enchantment spell and an illusion
+spell.
+
+LIAM: I know enchantment and transmutation.
+
+SAM: Why don’t you do trans? I’ll do enchant.
+
+LAURA: I can transmute or something.
+
+SAM: Oh, you can?
+
+LAURA: I think so.
+
+LIAM: All right. We’ll figure out–
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think it turns.
+
+SAM: I’m so glad you taught me magic, Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got an idea. I think I know how it
+works now.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how it works, and I’m not paying
+any attention. I’m very drunk.
+
+TALIESIN: This is great. I think that this is a
+guide. We know what we need to know because of
+
+these bowls. I think we need all three of these
+versions of the spells placed in each of these points.
+
+MARISHA: We put bowls– no.
+
+LAURA: We don’t even need the bowls.
+
+SAM: One, two three, right there! That’s where we
+need to spin it over there!
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody stand at their point.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I got to find my spell that actually
+does the thing that I said I could do.
+
+SAM: Oh! Right there! See? That symbol matches
+with this one.
+
+TALIESIN: (sarcastically) Are you sure?
+
+SAM: I figured this out, guys!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Wait, I have enchantment.
+
+SAM: So what do you have?
+
+LAURA: Enchantment.
+
+TALIESIN: We need transmutation and illusion.
+
+LIAM: I have transmutation and enchantment.
+
+SAM: I have illusion and transmutation.
+
+LIAM: And what do you have, Jester?
+
+LAURA: I have enchantment.
+
+LIAM: So you’re enchantment. That means I have
+transmutation.
+
+SAM: I’m illusion.
+
+MARISHA: All right, yes!
+
+TALIESIN: If anything starts to happen, I want you
+to run for the door.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll go stand by the enchantment–
+under the symbol for enchantment, just in case.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be the three dots.
+
+SAM: What about you Fjord? Don’t you have some
+spells on you? Why aren’t you helping out?
+
+TRAVIS: What do you want?
+
+LAURA: Can you do enchantment?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. I got evocation. I got necrotic.
+
+LIAM: If another cube or something comes out–
+
+TALIESIN: We need fighters.
+
+MARISHA: Me and Fjord will stand by in case
+anything else drops out of the ceiling.
+
+LIAM: That’s right. We’ve got these two bruisers
+here. That’s good. I concur.
+
+TALIESIN: Just in case, I’m going to light my
+other sword too.
+
+MATT: (flames) Mark your damage on that.
+
+SAM: Where are we casting it upon?
+
+LAURA: I think we’re casting it at the staff.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha, you want to take another point?
+Fighters and casters?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god. I’m going to cast Armor of
+Agathys on myself again.
+
+LAURA: Do we need to be standing in front of the
+symbol that it lines up with?
+
+TALIESIN: I would stand in front of the symbols on
+the triangle, personally.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go stand in front of the three dots.
+
+MARISHA: This was a research facility for mages.
+They’re super uppity about this shit, yeah.
+
+SAM: I go over next to the illusion one.
+
+LIAM: I, of course, in front of transmutation.
+
+MATT: As you guys are triangulated around those
+specific coordinates you’ve set yourselves, what
+
+do you do?
+
+LAURA: We count to three and we go?
+
+LIAM: You’re doing what? I’m doing Maximilian’s
+Earthen Grasp again with my cat’s paw.
+
+LAURA: I’m doing Hold Person.
+
+SAM: I’m taking a bit of fleece and doing some
+hand symbols and casting Silent Image.
+
+MATT: All right. You’re casting–?
+
+LAURA: Hold Person.
+
+MARISHA: I pull off the belt again.
+
+ASHLEY: Sword at the ready.
+
+MARISHA: One, two, three!
+
+MATT: As the three of you complete your
+incantations, the energy unleashed from the arcane
+
+and divine schools of magic, you watch as the
+energy disperses from the spell, and all three go
+
+(sucking sound) right into the center rod. It sits
+there shimmering from the impact. You guys back
+
+away, and it slowly goes cold again. On the
+opposite side of the chamber, you hear (grinding),
+
+and you watch as a false wall on the opposite end
+rotates open, leading you to a hallway on the
+
+opposite side that was previously closed.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Well done, guys!
+
+LAURA: Oh man!
+
+TRAVIS: I cast Armor of Agathys for nothing.
+
+MATT: You still got it for an hour.
+
+LAURA: That’s good, because who knows what else
+we’ll run into while we’re down here.
+
+MARISHA: On the other side.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I’m wearing it. I’ll run over to the
+door.
+
+TALIESIN: Check for traps.
+
+LIAM: Wait! I sit down, and I start doing the
+ritual for Detect Magic again. Ten minutes.
+
+MATT: While he’s doing that, anybody else doing
+anything?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m running over to the door. I’m not
+crossing the threshold. I just want to see. I got darkvision.
+
+MATT: Looking inside, with what low light is
+coming through from the edges of Yasha’s
+
+torchlight, the first thing that hits you is the
+smell. It’s a strange combination of old decay,
+
+strong rust, and burnt hair. It’s hard to
+describe, but it’s a very unpleasant mingling of
+
+smells as it hits you. Looking inside, you see a
+chamber ahead divided into three smaller sections
+
+and a center main chamber area. The center main
+chamber area is what you can most make out the
+
+details of. It looks like some sort of inert
+arcane circle in the center. There’s a symbol
+
+drawn there with runes around, but it’s currently
+cold and dark. You can’t see much further beyond
+
+that because you’re staying at the doorway, and to
+the right and left it looks there’s two smaller
+
+chambers immediately, and then it goes further
+in.
+
+TRAVIS: We got more magic stuff inside. I know
+Caleb’s meditating, but it’s going to get hairy, I
+
+bet. Smells a little burnt hair-y.
+
+ASHLEY: I walk up behind Fjord.
+
+MATT: The torchlight extends into the chamber, and
+you can see a little more now. The two side
+
+chambers are almost pill-shaped. They’re rounded
+at each side, and they’re enclosed, but open into
+
+the center chamber. At each of these rounded
+edges, as you step inside and glance to the right
+
+and left, you can see cage-like contraptions: iron
+domes that are very tight-knit, dark iron rusted
+
+metal. They’re on the edges of each side. You see
+load-bearing pillars in the center of the chamber
+
+to the right and left, and cold braziers behind
+those against the walls: little domed pieces of
+
+stone that once contained flame for light. Across
+the way you can see two tables with chairs, a
+
+bookcase. That’s all you can see at this
+distance.
+
+TRAVIS: The dome cages are solid steel, or are
+they bars?
+
+MATT: They’re bars, but the bars are an inch, inch
+and a half between each. It’s very little space in between.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start heading in this
+direction, too. Does one of them look like it was
+
+possibly holding a gelatinous cube at some point?
+
+MATT: Are you entering the chamber to look?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll go with you.
+
+LAURA: You should detect traps.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll look for traps. I know it’s
+my job.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Five more minutes!
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Best you can tell, there’s no traps in this
+first portion of the chamber.
+
+SAM: All clear. I take another swig from my
+flask.
+
+MATT: Okay. How drunk are you right now?
+
+SAM: Pretty drunk.
+
+MATT: We’ll put you in the drunk status, then.
+
+SAM: It’s been a long night.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, Molly, want to come in?
+
+SAM: By the way, Yasha, can I say, you weren’t
+even with us yesterday, and now you’re down here
+
+doing this! Is this crazy? What were you doing
+yesterday?
+
+ASHLEY: I was sitting in the tavern and then you
+guys came into the tavern.
+
+SAM: But did you know that you’d be down here with
+us tonight?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, Nott, I did.
+
+SAM: How did you know that?
+
+ASHLEY: I happen to– no, Nott, I did not know.
+
+SAM: How and when will I die?
+
+ASHLEY: I can’t tell you that, Nott.
+
+SAM: But you know!
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, of course.
+
+TRAVIS: She’s powerful.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t spoil it for her. We’ll find out
+in an hour or so anyway.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Good call, Molly.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you enter with the torch as well? All
+right, the three of them enter. You guys following
+
+behind or are you staying back with Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Caleb is super intense on his shit right
+now, going: I am helping the group. Everyone’s
+
+going to be safe.
+
+MARISHA: Beau’s left behind going: Come on! Pick
+it up, Caleb!
+
+LAURA: Beau, should I use my last spell to heal
+myself?
+
+SAM: I have a healing potion.
+
+MARISHA: Jester, you should always look out for
+yourself first, all right?
+
+TRAVIS: I have a healing potion if you want one,
+too.
+
+LAURA: So I should cast the spell on myself?
+
+MARISHA: I am waiting behind, motherfucker!
+
+TRAVIS: I take a healing potion, and I hand it to
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: This seems like a waste of money. I’m
+trying to be smarter with my money.
+
+SAM: No, you’re the worst with money.
+
+MATT: Regular healing potion? 2d4 plus two.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven.
+
+TALIESIN: Yay, double digits.
+
+MATT: It’s better than half. As you guys begin to
+enter the chamber, you are now stepping into the
+
+center of this inert magical circle, with the two
+cold braziers and the pillars. You see the four
+
+cages on the two opposite ends of the rounded,
+pill-shaped side rooms, and across the way there
+
+is the bookcase and the two tables. As you get
+closer and see, there’s two non-lit candelabra.
+
+What faint bits of candle remnants are there are
+mostly melted, and the wax dripping off and
+
+causing small pools in the ground, but they’ve
+been cold for some time.
+
+TRAVIS: I go over to one of the cages.
+
+LIAM: Did we wait the short amount of time for
+Detect Magic?
+
+MARISHA: I am in-between you and them, and I’m
+going: come on, come on.
+
+TRAVIS: I go over to one of the cages, the
+nearest left one.
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: You glance through with the light that’s
+flickering through the various gaps in this iron
+
+cage, and inside you can see a similar clay urn,
+deep red, sitting in the center. You see burnt and
+
+tattered clothing at the sides of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh jeez. Got another urn here full of
+ash.
+
+LAURA: Be careful!
+
+SAM: Kill it! Break it!
+
+TRAVIS: Anyone want to check the other cages? Make
+sure it’s not the same thing in each?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go take a look at the other cage.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll go look at another one.
+
+MATT: You glance– make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: I’m hanging out with Caleb and Beau.
+
+MATT: You finish your ability. Your Detect Magic
+is now in effect.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: Glancing into one of the far end cages–
+What did you get, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: I got 17.
+
+MATT: You guys hit two other cages on the right
+side, both the far end close edge of that
+
+platform. You’re looking in the small cages. You
+see another urn, and you glance up and see at the
+
+very top, there’s a chain of some kind that was
+wrapped in a noose. You see the urn that contains
+
+the ash down within, there are remnants of ash
+around the outside in a circle, and bits of cloth
+
+and material, and this chain noose hanging above
+where this urn was.
+
+TALIESIN: Would I be insane for thinking this is
+how they make them?
+
+SAM: Make what?
+
+LAURA: The will-o’-wisps.
+
+LIAM: The will-o’-wisps are the dead. They are
+left from the dead.
+
+TALIESIN: This was a factory, maybe?
+
+TRAVIS: Heading over to Molly, I stop in the
+middle of the room at that inert circle. Does it
+
+look like anything?
+
+MATT: Make an arcana check.
+
+ASHLEY: Are we near the table at all?
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: You guys can move to the opposite end if you
+want to get closer to the table. Looking at the
+
+inert circle, it looks like– You have an
+instinctual arcane knowledge that’s been imparted
+
+upon you by whatever this gift has been given to
+you, so the knowledge comes to you. It’s alien but
+
+familiar at the same time, and your brain’s trying
+to work through this disconnect. This circle looks
+
+like it was once developed to be a teleportation
+circle, but has since, it seems, been scarred and closed.
+
+TRAVIS: I feel like this was used to move or
+deliver people or things. This was a center for transportation.
+
+SAM: What the fuck are you talking about?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Are we in the other room still, or did we
+come in?
+
+MATT: Caleb has now finished and you guys can
+enter the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Real bright.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Sounds good, Fjord.
+
+ASHLEY: How close to the table can we get?
+
+MATT: How close do you want to get? There’s two
+tables, both kitty-corner into the further chamber.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to wait for Caleb at this point.
+
+LAURA: Can I look around the room?
+
+SAM: Do you need my help?
+
+TRAVIS: Is he done yet?
+
+LIAM: Give me a second to blacklight the room.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, I love you, but we are missing out
+on other shit. I’m having extreme FOMO right now.
+
+Come on.
+
+LAURA: We’re in the room. Let’s go.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m waiting for the narrator to–
+
+MATT: Yeah, I told you, a couple times. You
+finished your spell.
+
+LIAM: Yes, good, right. So I’m walking. Is there
+anyone between the bookshelf and me, where I am?
+
+Is Fjord?
+
+MATT: Yes, currently it looks like Jester and
+Yasha are in between that space.
+
+LIAM: Who’s the closest?
+
+MATT: They’re both equidistant.
+
+LIAM: I walk up between the two of them, and I
+have a 30 foot radius on the spell, so I’m
+
+basically doing this, but I’m very interested in
+the bookshelf obviously. I’m looking everywhere.
+
+MATT: There’s a very faint magical aura from the
+symbol in the center, but it seems largely clouded
+
+and marked off. It’s like somebody had taped over
+a blacklit drawing. It’s been marred and prevented
+
+from use, from what it seems at the moment.
+
+LIAM: Is there a type? I will ask that every
+time.
+
+MATT: Yes, there is. And just to be consistent,
+here.
+
+LIAM: Friendship magic.
+
+MATT: It is conjuration. There is a very faint
+magical essence, straight ahead. As you focus and
+
+lean forward, it becomes a little stronger. Above
+the bookshelf, there is a shape, embedded in the
+
+wall, that is emitting a slight magical aura.
+
+LIAM: In the wall, above the bookshelf?
+
+MATT: Above the bookshelf, you don’t have quite
+enough light, and Yasha’s holding the torch that’s
+
+being cut off from the roof.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a light stone in my pocket if
+anyone wants to go for it. Here, hold on–
+
+SAM: A light stone?
+
+LAURA: Ooh, I’ll climb up on the bookshelf.
+
+TALIESIN: Careful!
+
+MATT: As you approach, the bookshelf is mostly
+empty. Similar to the first chamber you went to,
+
+it looks like either everything in here was taken
+or destroyed. Most of the bookshelf is plain empty
+
+with broken pieces, and tattered bits of paper,
+and no books present on the shelf at the moment.
+
+LIAM: Zero books.
+
+MATT: That you see on the shelf as you close in to
+look at it. As you climb the shelf and look up,
+
+above the bookshelf there is, placed ornamentally
+on the wall, a very wide blade, longsword of some
+
+kind is bolted onto the wall as an ornamental
+display.
+
+LAURA: Does it look trapped? Is this trapped on
+the wall?
+
+SAM: You want me to check it?
+
+LAURA: Climb up on the bookshelf with me!
+
+TRAVIS: Please pull it out.
+
+TALIESIN: This can’t go wrong.
+
+SAM: I go up and check. I got a– oh wait,
+disadvantage, I’m drunk. That’s a 19.
+
+MATT: 19. Best you can tell, there’s no trap.
+
+LAURA: Should I try to pull it out?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, pull it off. I’ll give you all my
+health potions in one day.
+
+LAURA: I lift, I pull, and I try to pull it off
+the wall.
+
+MATT: Okay. It takes you a moment, because it’s
+bolted in. The blade comes free, and you pull back
+
+on it you begin to, “Whoa!” off the side. You guys
+catch Jester. She plummets off of the bookshelf.
+
+You manage to trust fall her, if you will, as she
+falls from the top.
+
+LAURA: Good job not getting stabbed, you guys,
+because this is sharp-looking.
+
+MATT: It is a heavy-looking blade. The hilt of it
+is gold and curls up to the side. It is all these
+
+tiny runes inscribed along the edge. The central
+blade is thick. It’s about that wide at the side
+
+and slowly tapers to the edge. None of you come
+from a specific blacksmith background, so you
+
+wouldn’t know the purpose of the blade, but it
+looks dangerous.
+
+LAURA: This is a sacrificial blade for sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it long?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s about six feet long.
+
+LIAM: Jester’s holding it?
+
+LAURA: I’m holding it.
+
+LIAM: How’s the girth?
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty girthy. Can you identify it?
+
+LIAM: I obviously can do that, and I have a little
+bit of reserve left, but we are still not topside
+
+yet, so we can either sit for ten minutes and I
+can tell you exactly what it does, or we wait
+
+until later. But I’m not willing to do this–
+
+MARISHA: No more ten minutes.
+
+LIAM: It is ten minutes.
+
+LAURA: I’ll strap it to my back.
+
+LIAM: We can wait until later.
+
+TALIESIN: Put it in the bag.
+
+LAURA: It’s very sharp and the bag is easily
+punctured and I don’t want to risk it. I’ll strap
+
+it to my back.
+
+TRAVIS: Shouldn’t we, for good measure, be
+breaking up these other ceramic–?
+
+TALIESIN: Are those ceramic pots giving anything
+off?
+
+MATT: The tables, by the way, that are right next
+to the bookshelf, have writing utensils, quills on
+
+the side, one has an inkwell that has been long
+dried over that has a spider web attached to it.
+
+LIAM: Does it have any paper?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: A natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Ooh!
+
+MATT: You don’t notice any paper, but as you
+glance underneath one of the tables, on the bottom
+
+it looks like one book has been not taken, or at
+least had fallen beneath and was left behind.
+
+SAM: Liam just got an erection.
+
+MATT: I heard it! It was like (deep thud) on the
+table.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh come on, it’s like (light thud).
+
+LIAM: No, the first one was right.
+
+MATT: The book, as you pull it out, a corner of it
+is burned pretty heavily.
+
+LIAM: Detect Magic’s still going, by the way.
+
+MATT: Correct. There’s no magical source from it.
+Where you found it, there’s a bit of an ash trail
+
+that leads back towards the far wall, towards
+where one of the braziers is. You get the sense
+
+that maybe whatever was in here may have been
+thrown in the braziers to burn and this book got
+
+discarded or thrown. You open and start looking
+through the pages. What languages do you know?
+
+LIAM: I know Common! Oh god. I don’t know where to
+look on D&D Beyond.
+
+SAM: Proficiencies.
+
+MATT: It would be under proficiencies, probably.
+
+SAM: No, it’s not there.
+
+MATT: Oh, it’s not? Okay.
+
+SAM: Come on, D&D Beyond!
+
+TALIESIN: Character details, under description.
+
+LIAM: Description, character details? I know
+Sylvan, Common, and Celestial.
+
+MATT: You do not recognize this script.
+
+LIAM: Then I will cast Comprehend Languages.
+
+SAM: I hope that doesn’t get rid of all your other
+spells.
+
+LIAM: It doesn’t. Just one. I cast Comprehend
+Languages.
+
+MATT: As you finish casting the spell, Caleb’s
+hand incantation completes, the eyes light up with
+
+a strange yellowish energy. All the words on the
+page that previously made no sense suddenly shift,
+
+go out of focus, and come back into focus in a
+language that you can understand. It is Draconic.
+
+Reading through briefly, and it is scribblings,
+disjointed and broken in place. Taking a moment to
+
+look through, you get the sense this is the
+journal of somebody named Siff Duthar.
+
+LIAM: Don’t write that down!
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+LIAM: Because only I know it!
+
+MARISHA: I’m definitely going to write it down.
+
+SAM: Siff Duthar!
+
+MATT: Siff. S-I-F-F. Duthar.
+
+LAURA: The thing is, he probably won’t ever tell
+us.
+
+SAM: He’ll tell me!
+
+MATT: The pages, the ramblings speak of a coming
+war. They talk about foolish pawns who follow
+
+their gods to annihilation. They speak of the
+armies of Ghor Dranas washing over the land and
+
+pauper and kings alike being saved not at all and
+being placed on a pike and held like a banner into
+
+battle regardless of who they are. They speak of
+the weakness of flesh and the need to endure
+
+beyond the paltry life shell that we’re given. It
+talks about experiments with refugees, finding if
+
+the soul is bound to the flesh in any form, be it
+ice or ash. It speaks of an obsession with
+
+avoiding the eternal hunger of The Crawling King,
+he who tunnels beneath the world and will find him.
+
+SAM: Oh boy. This seems like beyond our level
+stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there an audiobook version of this?
+
+MATT: It speaks of a bounty hunter, who had
+infiltrated this sanctum after Siff. And while it
+
+cost Siff his legs, the hunter was burned into the
+brazier, flames of erasure. A trophy shall be
+
+taken and displayed as a warning.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the sword! It’s the fucking sword!
+
+MATT: From there, it grows more and more manic.
+The scrawlings taking you a moment, even with the
+
+spell, to focus and make it out. Speaking on
+quaking within the earth around that shakes the
+
+surrounding hills and darken the sky. The betrayer
+gods come. The power of man must remain. The
+
+arcane gifts must bypass their punishment, show
+them that they are not above their creations. The
+
+final notes grow even more paranoid, worried that
+the secrets that Siff seeks will fall into the
+
+hands of Ghor Dranas and that all must be
+destroyed. All must come to ash and from the
+
+ashes, shall rise again. That’s the final page
+before the rest of the book is charred beyond recognition.
+
+LIAM: Right. I tell nobody this.
+
+SAM: Just say that all again one more time, Matt.
+
+MATT: I can.
+
+LAURA: Say it all out loud.
+
+LIAM: I do read it out loud.
+
+SAM: That is hard core.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s in the urn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, “from ashes shall rise again?” Are
+we going to fight some guy who’s going to chop off
+
+our legs?
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+MARISHA: It talked about chopping off our legs!
+
+LAURA: But then this sword belongs to the guy who
+came to save Siff? The bounty hunter?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the trophy was a warning. He lost
+his legs.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to take a look at some of these
+cages with the urns.
+
+LAURA: What was the thing about “fire or ice,”
+though? It was like, “fire or ice?”
+
+LIAM: Jester, while Molly is looking around, hold
+that for me. Hold it still.
+
+LAURA: Hold what still?
+
+LIAM: The sword, and I will tell you what it is,
+but you have to hold it for a while, Muscles.
+
+LAURA: I’m good.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+you begin to notice, as you’re yelling and
+
+talking, your breath is now visible in the air,
+the temperature growing colder and colder still.
+
+You, looking past the chamber towards one of these
+urns, you see a very faint light, a flicker within
+
+where the ashes are. As this happens, the center
+circle of the chamber begins to glow darker and
+
+darker as a shadow begins to emerge from the
+center of the chamber. Shifting out of the ground,
+
+some sort of whipping cloak around a humanoid
+figure rises out made of pure shadow and darkness.
+
+The cloth is tattered and shifting around causing
+this horrible whipping sound like a wind is
+
+blowing extremely intensely, but only localized
+around this figure. As the face is visible, you
+
+see this ghastly flesh-stretched against the skull
+that’s still made of dark gray matter that begins
+
+to shift and move with the shadows around it. The
+voice, (rasping) “Now secrets are yours.” We’ll pick up
+
+there next week.
+
+(yelling)
+
+SAM: Wait, what?!
+
+LIAM: Oh man.
+
+TRAVIS: Something wicked this way comes.
+
+SAM: I’m so confused!
+
+LAURA: I don’t have hardly any hit points!
+
+SAM: He’s going to talk to us.
+
+MARISHA: I tried to write as much as I could.
+
+LIAM: It’s okay, I have one spell slot left, it’s
+fine.
+
+LAURA: I’ve got a 2nd-level and a 1st-level.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we should run.
+
+LAURA: We should probably run.
+
+MATT: We have a week to think about it.
+
+LAURA: Was he coming up out of the teleportation
+circle?
+
+MATT: You guys were all towards the bookshelf and
+the tables. It emerges from the center area near
+
+the circle, not from the center of the circle, but
+in that vicinity. He wasn’t emerging, he wasn’t
+
+teleporting in. He was rising out the ground while
+Molly’s off by one of the cages on the side.
+
+TALIESIN: I saw something happen in that cage.
+
+MATT: You did.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m at that other corner.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You and Molly are both at the other
+corners.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to wait a week!
+
+SAM: May I ask: What were we sent here to get
+again?
+
+MARISHA: I was going to say, I don’t think we’ve
+achieved anything.
+
+TRAVIS: No, we were supposed to get rid of the
+orb.
+
+MATT: You guys were sent here to–
+
+MARISHA: He wanted us to bring back any type of
+ancient research that we could find.
+
+SAM: Just research?
+
+MARISHA: But we could keep any of the spoils.
+
+LAURA: We could run away, bring the book and run
+away.
+
+LIAM: All we have to say is we cleared it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, if we want to be a little punk ass
+bitch about it! We got to take this guy down!
+
+LAURA: This guy is way beyond our level.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we need to do some discussion.
+
+MATT: This is a game of choices, guys. Figure out
+what your choices are for next week. On that note,
+
+well done, guys!
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to wait a week, I want to do
+it right now!
+
+MATT: If it wasn’t already 10:38, we could
+continue.
+
+LIAM: That’s nothing. I could go for another two
+hours, at least.
+
+MATT: I know. But depending on what you do, could
+TPK real fast. No. Thank you guys so much. Thank
+
+you for watching and tuning in. Don’t forget the
+awesomeness with 826LA.
+
+SAM: Archer season seven?
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MATT: Archer season nine, D&D Beyond, all our
+fantastic sponsors. Pillars of Eternity II, we’re
+
+super excited about that and the new comic. Check
+all that stuff out. Things to hold you over until
+
+next week, at the very least.
+
+LIAM: Only cool things here. Only cool things.
+
+MATT: Thank you so much for watching. Have a
+wonderful night and a wonderful week and is it
+
+Thursday yet? Good night!
+
+LIAM: No, it’s not!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone and welcome tonight’s episode
+of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy ass
+
+voice actors sit around and play Dungeons &
+Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: We thankfully, and happily, have Laura back
+this week going on.
+
+LAURA: No more of you doing my voice, Matt?
+
+MATT: That wasn’t going to happen ever again. The
+internet has spoken, nobody wants that.
+
+MARISHA: I love the shade she threw you in her
+spare time.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, plenty of shade!
+
+LIAM: That’s not the Laura I know.
+
+LAURA: What? No!
+
+LIAM: We have the whole gang here.
+
+MATT: We do. I love it. Before we jump into the
+actual story of tonight’s game, we have some quick
+
+announcements to get through. First and foremost,
+we have two fantastic sponsors tonight. First up,
+
+we have for this evening, Archer: Danger Island.
+As a long-time fan of Archer, I’m excited that
+
+today’s episode is brought to you by Archer:
+Danger Island. That is the new season that
+
+premiers on FX Wednesday, April 25th at 10:00pm,
+so next week, check it out. It’ll start there.
+
+Season nine centers on the semi-functioning
+alcohol seaplane pilot, Sterling Archer, as we
+
+know, a lush on a lush South Pacific island of
+Mitimotu in 1939. While the rest of the world is
+
+concerned about the impending Second World War,
+Archer is only concerned with who is buying his
+
+next drink. Along with his trusty copilot, Pam,
+one of my favorite characters, Sterling must
+
+navigate quicksand, cannibals, super-intelligent
+monkeys, poison darts, and pirates. That’s right,
+
+folks. Somehow they jumped the shark into even
+better shark-infested waters.
+
+TRAVIS: We can get H. Jon Benjamin on this show,
+right?
+
+MATT: I’m all about it. I would love that. I love
+him so much. He’s so great.
+
+TALIESIN: Sometimes when you jump the shark,
+there’s just more sharks there.
+
+MATT: That’s great. There’s just a bunch of
+sharks. Stay turnt for the break. Catch a special
+
+video that Nerdist created in partnership with FX,
+creating our dream Archer: Danger Island board
+
+game at LDN to celebrate the new season. So check
+that out at the break. Our second sponsor and
+
+returning sponsor, our fantastic friends,
+eternally with this campaign, D&D Beyond.
+
+ALL: D&D Beyond!
+
+SAM: Yes! (stuttering)
+
+TRAVIS: False start, Redskins!
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond is raising money for our greatest,
+favorite charity, 826LA. They’re doing a big push
+
+now to raise money for this great organization
+that promotes literacy for young people everywhere
+
+and as part of the 826LA charity initiative, now
+that we’re way past our $10,000 tier, D&D Beyond
+
+has offered up the discount code “826LA” to get
+25% off the Legendary Bundle. The Legendary Bundle
+
+includes all the digital materials available at
+D&D Beyond, so check it out now and as part of
+
+what they announced last week, D&D Beyond is
+contributing $100 to 826LA for every natural one
+
+we roll and to honor that–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god. Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: What is that?!
+
+SAM: I’ve written a folk song.
+
+MARISHA: I didn’t know you played.
+
+LIAM: Three episodes from now, he’s going to bring
+in a gospel band.
+
+SAM: I don’t play.
+
+MATT: This Cold War escalation is going to kill us
+all.
+
+SAM: I need participation for this one, guys.
+
+ASHLEY: You got it.
+
+SAM: When I call for it, you have to say the
+number one. This is all in honor of us rolling
+
+ones, right? (singing) ♪ We’re– ♪
+la la, hmm!
+
+(laughing)
+
+♪ We’re rolling ones,
+rolling them every night. We’re rolling ones,
+
+♪ rolling them every fight. How many times has
+Ashley been back? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: ♪ How many times has Caleb had a bath? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: ♪ How many testicles does Sam have? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: ♪ How many chords are there in this song? ♪
+
+ALL: One!
+
+SAM: Two. ♪ What’s the past tense of win? ♪
+
+ALL: Won!
+
+SAM: ♪ What’s Obi Kenobi’s middle name? ♪
+
+ALL: Wan!
+
+SAM: ♪ What’s a synonym for pasty and pale? ♪
+
+LIAM: Wan!
+
+SAM: Thank you, Liam.
+
+♪ What will the Washington
+football team do when they face the Cowboys? ♪
+
+TRAVIS: (yelling) Lose!
+
+Lose!
+
+SAM: ♪ Ones, rolling them every night. ♪
+That’s it.
+
+(cheering and laughing)
+
+TRAVIS: Delete that shit!
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam! Thank you, D&D Beyond. Thank
+you, our friends at FX and Archer. Running off
+
+that, too, to go off to 826 initiative that we’re
+doing right now for this very special fundraising
+
+campaign. Many thanks to one of our fantastic
+Critters, Mark K., who’s offered to match every
+
+single dollar that you donate, up to $40,000. Many
+other companies are offering to match donations as
+
+well, so as much as you can do, it’s going to
+expand progressively, so thank you for everything
+
+there. If you want to check it out, we’ve unlocked
+a bunch of tiers and we have a few more to unlock
+
+as well. Go to 826la.org/criticalrole, you see
+where we are and how you can help with their
+
+fantastic organization. Once again, reminder,
+Twitch Prime! If you have Amazon Prime, you can
+
+connect your Twitch account and get, once a month,
+free. Go ahead and give your patronage to a Twitch
+
+channel of your choice. That’s the word I was
+looking for.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s every month, right? You can’t toggle
+it, so it’s something that keeps happening?
+
+MARISHA: No, you have to do it every month, It’s
+really obnoxious.
+
+LAURA: But it’s free!
+
+MARISHA: It’s free! Everyone asks if it supports
+us, we get a lesser cut or more cut, it supports
+
+us the exact same way.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Off that note, we have new Twitch
+emotes available for those who are subscribed to
+
+the channel. Based on the various tiers, there are
+plenty of new emotes with the Mighty Nein related,
+
+as well as the nine itself on the dice. Look for
+that in the subscription tiers. Critical Recap, of
+
+course, is up if you need a refresher for campaign
+two, our fantastic Dani Carr does refreshers every
+
+episode. They come out the Thursdays before the
+episode. I’m sure if you were here earlier, you
+
+saw this week’s refresher of last week’s episode.
+If you need to get caught up or get your friends
+
+caught up quickly to watch live, that’s how you do
+so, so look for it on YouTube under Critical
+
+Recap. Not right now. Talks Machina, of course,
+every Tuesday evening, our fantastic Brian W.
+
+Foster will be hosting. Next Tuesday at 7:00pm
+Pacific regarding tonight’s episode, so check that
+
+out. We will have a few cast members there to
+discuss the events that shall unfold before you
+
+later this evening. He also smells like cabbage.
+The podcast of episode 14 from last week is
+
+available for download for all fine podcast users
+out there. If you’re listening to the audio
+
+versions of it and you haven’t seen the last
+episode and you’re waiting for the podcast, well,
+
+you can listen to both and watch tonight. It would
+be really confusing, but you can. That’s an option
+
+now, so congratulations. I think that’s– Oh, the
+comic book that just came out. Issue six, which is
+
+fantastic. The final issue of our six episode arc
+of Vox Machina: Origins is available. Check it out
+
+if you haven’t yet, especially if you were waiting
+for them all to come out, now you can do that, and
+
+we’ll have news soon about an actual hard release
+you can hold in your hands. That’s exciting.
+
+LIAM: The glory of Grog in that issue.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Glory be to Grog.
+
+MATT: Don’t forget Pillars of Eternity II:
+Deadfire comes out very soon, in just a few weeks.
+
+For those who haven’t played the first Pillars of
+Eternity, you don’t have to. The sequel gets you
+
+pretty up to speed if you haven’t played, but if
+you have, you can carry over your save from the
+
+previous one. I recommend you play it if you have
+the time. This one is amazing-looking. They
+
+partnered with us, all of us get to voice cast
+members of the new game and there’s free DLC where
+
+you get to download portraits and voice sets of
+Vox Machina from Critical Role to use in the game.
+
+LIAM: They have just teased the first Critical
+Role Vox Machina portrait of Pickle.
+
+MATT: That’s right. Pike’s portrait was unveiled.
+
+SAM: The full portrait? Not the pixelated one?
+
+LIAM: Everyone else is pixelated, but Pickle has
+been revealed.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t know that.
+
+MATT: If you want to preorder it, you can preorder
+it at versusevil.com/criticalrole, and that’s also
+
+where you can see the portrait. Super excited for
+that. I think with that, folks, our announcements
+
+are done.
+
+LAURA: Wait, I’m coughing tonight a lot, so if I
+do, everybody just stop and stare at me. So if I
+
+get up and leave, that’s what happened. I don’t
+want to have a coughing fit on screen.
+
+TRAVIS: Or you pooped your pants.
+
+LAURA: Or I pooped my pants.
+
+LIAM: You’re allowed to do any of those things.
+
+MATT: Awesome. Thank you for the update, Laura.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, sorry, I just wanted to put that out
+there.
+
+MATT: No, it’s good. With that, guys, let’s go
+ahead and get started with tonight’s episode of
+
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back, everyone. That was pretty
+weak.
+
+TRAVIS: I know. I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: Last time we left off, The Mighty Nein had
+gone towards The Evening Nip, where they had
+
+finally crawled into the subterranean, hidden,
+basement/tavern where The Gentleman does his
+
+business. You had encountered Yasha who joined
+back up with the party. You had a brief discussion
+
+with this Gentleman, which led to a bit of
+card-sharkery from Fjord’s end, a fair played
+
+game, made quite a bit of money and earned his
+favor. There you discussed what was to be done
+
+with this new arrangement. He took some blood as
+it was required of him to make sure that he
+
+could ensure–
+
+LAURA: Wait, what?!
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Just kidding, I was watching.
+
+MATT: You were watching. You guys said that you
+were possibly looking for furthering some sort of
+
+relationship for business purposes, but for now
+you had an individual who needed to be smuggled
+
+out. He said it would be fine, but one favor
+requires one in return and to prove yourself both
+
+capable and he had heard some tales of which you
+had done within Zadash. He requested that you go
+
+and inspect this newly discovered buried ruin,
+this series of chambers that exists on the
+
+outskirts of their underground river escape
+towards Berleben and the Ounterloch. You went
+
+ahead and retrieved Horris, brought him back. He
+was then, supposedly it seems to be so, sent off
+
+and escorted out of the city, safely–
+
+LAURA: (quietly) They killed him.
+
+MATT: They totally killed him. They probably
+killed him.
+
+SAM: But these criminals promised us!
+
+MATT: (laughs) You found yourself down towards the
+subterranean docks to this river. By the way,
+
+through all of this Molly was having a mild panic
+attack about his story, encountering Cree and
+
+apparently being called the name Lucien and
+Nonagon.
+
+LAURA: Nonagon.
+
+MATT: Upon making your way to the docks, you were
+given two boats and utilizing them to move further
+
+downstream towards where the exterior of this ruin
+was discovered. You all gathered your supplies and
+
+by the glowing orbs of Caleb’s Dancing Lights
+ahead of you, we left off with you traversing
+
+deeper and deeper down the dark tunnel and river.
+
+SAM: Do we remember which boat we were on?
+
+LAURA: I remember that Fjord asked me to be in his
+boat.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t read into it.
+
+ASHLEY: I was with Caleb and Nott.
+
+MATT: Usually I do this just before the game and I
+totally forgot to.
+
+SAM: That’s okay! We can just do it now while
+people are watching you.
+
+MATT: That’s what I’m here for. That’s okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s like a real game!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the boats were–
+
+LIAM: Yasha, Caleb, Nott?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: And Beau, Jester, Fjord.
+
+SAM: Great! Done.
+
+LAURA: Nonagon! (singing) Na na na-na.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be in there, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: So Yasha, Caleb, Nott, and the other ship
+was Fjord, Jester, Beau, and Molly?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody have their stuff together?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, gosh. Our ship is way better than you
+guys’.
+
+LAURA: Our ship is so colorful.
+
+LIAM: Dinghy battle!
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) Whack!
+
+MATT: Heading down the tunnel, the two boats, the
+width of it is just enough to fit both of you and
+
+occasionally you have to pick one or the other as
+it begins to pinch a bit and then expand. I will
+
+say due to weight, unless somebody wants to
+actively paddle, the boat with Caleb, Yasha, and
+
+Nott will probably be taking the lead in those
+moments.
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Although, I think probably, Fjord, I should
+be the one paddling the boat because I’m a bit
+
+stronger than you.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, that’s why you’re on the boat.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, did you think it was for another
+reason?
+
+LAURA: No, I just– no!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, Yasha, are you paddling?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, so we would be at the front of the
+boat going–
+
+TALIESIN: The back of the boat would actually be
+up a bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Bow up!
+
+MATT: Each couple of splashing sounds that hit as
+the oars hit the water and the occasional crack of
+
+the water against the brook or a rock in the
+center, you being to maneuver your way through
+
+this dark tunnel with just the low light that
+you’ve been applying. It gets colder and colder
+
+the further down the tunnel you go and while it is
+moist, you begin to see your breath just in
+
+general this low in the ground.
+
+LIAM: Terrible.
+
+SAM: Jesus, Laura.
+
+TRAVIS: Literally 12.
+
+LAURA: I’m glad I’m back.
+
+MATT: We are too, Laura. We are, too. It would
+take about a mile journey to get to where they
+
+said this would be, so you have a few minutes. Is
+there anything you guys wish to do, prepare?
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh!
+
+SAM: Prepare? Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve got your holy oil, right?
+
+SAM: Me?
+
+LAURA: Are we going to fight undead things? What
+is going on?
+
+MATT: You have time, you’re traveling!
+
+SAM: I forgot. Did you give me holy oil?
+
+TALIESIN: I believe or was it–
+
+MARISHA: You gave me holy oil and you holy oil.
+
+MATT: Holy water, not holy oil.
+
+SAM: I have it, apparently. Well, what am I
+supposed to do with it?
+
+TALIESIN: You throw it at something that looks
+evil. It’s pretty simple.
+
+SAM: Should I dip my bolts into it?
+
+TALIESIN: It doesn’t work that way, sadly. It’s
+not–
+
+MARISHA: It’s a like a splash grenade.
+
+TALIESIN: Water balloon with glass.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: How’s the light in here, by the way?
+
+MATT: The only light you have is the light from
+Caleb’s Dancing Lights which he’s re-upping as
+
+soon as it completes its one minute cycle each
+time.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+LAURA: This is just like that scene in Tusk Love.
+
+SAM: Which scene?
+
+LAURA: The scene where the ship is sinking and
+Oskar and Genevieve have to paddle to shore!
+
+MARISHA: It was Guinevere.
+
+LAURA: Guinevere! That’s was it was. I remember
+Oskar a little more. Only Oskar was paddling in
+
+that one.
+
+LIAM: It is sad when ships sink.
+
+LAURA: It is.
+
+MARISHA: Where do you– why?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So you guys continue–
+
+LIAM: (Pigeon cooing)
+
+MATT: –continue down the river for a short time.
+The river splits up for a bit and actually divides
+
+into two tunnels.
+
+SAM: Where are we going?
+
+LAURA: Should one of us go in one and one of us go
+in the other?
+
+LIAM: That seems not like a good idea.
+
+SAM: I know something about sailing! The right one
+is the bow and the left one is the stern.
+
+LAURA: Should we go in the bow or the stern?
+
+TRAVIS: Is there water running to the left or the
+right? Does it look like it picks up current on
+
+either side?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage
+because of the low light.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, that’s a fucking two. That’s four.
+Yeah.
+
+MATT: Hard to tell at this distance and it’s
+coming up quickly.
+
+LAURA: Can we feel more wind coming from either
+side?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Wind.
+
+TRAVIS: Water!
+
+MARISHA: Heart!
+
+LAURA: 21!
+
+MATT: 21? It does not appear that the wind is
+picking up one way or the other, but it’s
+
+approaching very quickly.
+
+TALIESIN: Is the general feeling of supernatural
+unease coming from either of the– or any signs
+
+of–? I know that we’re going to be facing
+probably some will-o’-wisps or something like that.
+
+LAURA: You should row backwards too, Yasha.
+
+MATT: I mean, the general sense of ominous dark,
+future tunnel, but there’s nothing supernatural
+
+about the darkness ahead of you.
+
+TRAVIS: Anyone have a preference?
+
+TALIESIN: Any sound coming from either of them?
+
+MARISHA: Do I notice any textures on any walls?
+They talked about the north side of the wall being
+
+more textured and having a pattern.
+
+MATT: That being what gave them the idea that
+that’s where this is. That’s where the entrance to
+
+this–
+
+TRAVIS: We’re heading east right?
+
+MATT: You guys are heading east, yeah, a northeast
+path.
+
+SAM: Well, we’re in the lead boat and Yasha’s
+paddling, so Yasha, it’s up to you!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m rowing back.
+
+LAURA: I think left.
+
+MARISHA: Try the north side.
+
+ASHLEY: I go right. No, I’m just kidding! I’ll go
+to the left.
+
+MATT: So as you’re paddling backwards, Yasha
+adjusts the oar and changes the trajectory of the
+
+boat and heads it toward the left path. Do you
+follow suit?
+
+LAURA: Should I follow them?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Good oar work!
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a steering wheel!
+
+LIAM: Nice, Carrot Top, nice.
+
+MARISHA: We’re on a jet ski; this is great!
+
+MATT: Most spastic rowing partner ever. Heading
+down the water path does pick up a little speed
+
+and seems to dip suddenly before picking up with a
+mild splash but you catch yourself.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) We’re on Pirates of the
+Caribbean!
+
+MATT: It slows down a little bit and you start
+seeing a few rocks that break the surface and you
+
+have to maneuver around them. One you push off
+with the oar to make sure that your boat doesn’t
+
+strike it. You’re not going fast enough to where
+it would damage the actual boat, but it could list
+
+and get stuck on it if you were to not be careful.
+You push off, thankfully because you both have
+
+light sources here.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, can you use your oar to see how deep
+we are? Does it touch bottom?
+
+MATT: Okay, it gets just to the very edge of the
+oar before it touches bottom.
+
+SAM: How long are the oars?
+
+MATT: The oars are about five feet long.
+
+LAURA: So you’d be fucked.
+
+SAM: Thanks.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you swim? Can you swim, Nott?
+
+SAM: No! What?!
+
+ASHLEY: Well, you could get on my shoulders if
+you–
+
+SAM: I’m not going to get in the water, don’t
+worry!
+
+MARISHA: Have you been practicing any of the
+techniques that we tried out?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ve been practicing one technique!
+It’s called wearing this ring of water walking!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Sure, that’s good!
+
+SAM: Tried and true!
+
+LIAM: Unfucked!
+
+TALIESIN: You could literally be walking along
+side of the boat.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s a good idea! Can I ghost ride the
+whip?
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, you could be stealthing ahead at
+this moment.
+
+SAM: Oh! I’m going to gingerly–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god, please.
+
+SAM: Just ghost ride.
+
+TRAVIS: Barefoot ski.
+
+SAM: Barefoot it onto the water and see what
+happens.
+
+MATT: On the water? Okay. As you reach over the
+edge of the boat and slowly lower your tiny goblin
+
+feet across the surface, breaking the water (water
+splashing).
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a general dexterity check
+for me, please.
+
+SAM: Ooh, not good, but it’s dexterity, so six?
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: This is fun! Hand me a rope, I’ll water ski!
+
+MATT: As you’re so entranced by this, you glance
+down just in time to see one of those stones
+
+that’s protruding from the river seems to have
+come out of nowhere. Before you have a minute to
+
+punch off, it hits you across the knee and bruises
+the heck out of it. Your whole leg starts
+
+throbbing and you’re like, “Ah!” So your skiing is
+now (crashing splashes) underneath.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll try to pull myself back up?
+
+MATT: All right, it takes you a moment and Caleb,
+you go and help get Nott up onto the boat, but as
+
+you do, a little water logged, the water splashed
+over your face a bit.
+
+SAM: Jesus, that’s an intense water ski.
+
+MATT: Because at that moment the lights go out. As
+soon as you pull Nott up into the ship, there’s a
+
+brief moment where Nott breathes and looks back up
+with a smile about to say thank you before you
+
+see, out of the corner of your eye, one of the
+stalagmites at the top of the ceiling detach,
+
+float down and open up, almost like an umbrella
+before it lands and collapses on top of Nott.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) It’s just like the rug!
+
+SAM: Ah! What happened? What’s going on?
+
+MATT: With advantage because it was with a
+surprise attack on that one, so that would be a 19
+
+to hit. What’s your armor class?
+
+SAM: Of course that hits. Yes.
+
+MATT: All right, Nott. That is five points of
+bludgeoning damage and it is attached to you. You
+
+now see a pitch black and gray spined octopus-type
+creature, that looks from the exterior like any
+
+other part of the cavern wall, but has these deep
+sunk red eyes at the top of its base and it’s
+
+completely wrapped around the top of Nott, and is
+currently crushing down on top of her. I need you
+
+all to roll initiative.
+
+LIAM: In the boat?
+
+LAURA: Oh my god!
+
+LIAM: I had these miniatures. I forget what
+they’re called.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, that’s terrible!
+
+LIAM: I dropped my Colville meteorite!
+
+SAM: We’re already in it? We just started!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the best!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s cool!
+
+LIAM: Oh! I got a 20!
+
+MATT: It doesn’t count if it’s on the floor, dude.
+
+TRAVIS: There are limits!
+
+MATT: There are!
+
+LIAM: Oh, I got a one!
+
+SAM: Wait, we’re rolling ones! That’s $100!
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: I rolled a one, too!
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: That’s $300?
+
+SAM: Two.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, did you roll a one?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, okay, sorry. I got excited.
+
+LIAM: The 20 would have been nice though.
+
+ASHLEY and TRAVIS: What is math?
+
+MATT: Molly, roughly where are you on this board?
+
+TALIESIN: I would assume I’m in the middle.
+
+MATT: All right. Fjord and Beau in that order?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s good.
+
+LIAM: That’s so cool!
+
+ASHLEY: This is awesome!
+
+LAURA: Oh, cool. I like the cat just like blah.
+
+MATT: You now see this entity has fallen and
+latched on to Nott. So in that degree.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+TRAVIS: Uh oh.
+
+MATT: All right, 25 to 20?
+
+TRAVIS: Nobody.
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+SAM: Wow. That’s it? We suck.
+
+MARISHA: We did bad.
+
+LAURA: We rolled real bad.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Hold on, 15 to ten.
+
+SAM: Ten. Whoa. What? You guys are all single
+digits? Oh boy!
+
+ASHLEY: I always roll shit initiative.
+
+SAM: You do. You really do.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know what–
+
+MATT: Historically.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten to five.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Beau at nine.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MATT: Wow! Molly, Jester. That’s everybody,
+right?
+
+ASHLEY: Four. I rolled four.
+
+MATT: And four.
+
+LIAM: Und Ein.
+
+LAURA: You don’t have any initiative?
+
+LIAM: Oh, do I? Oh sure, two.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so you rolled a three. Good job.
+
+LIAM: No, no. Plus one, so now it’s two.
+
+ASHLEY: What’s a two in German?
+
+LIAM, TALIESIN, and LAURA: Zwei.
+
+SAM, TALIESIN, LAURA: Eins, zwei, drei.
+
+SAM: That’s it. That’s all the numbers in German.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re holding up the rear?
+
+LIAM: Ja. Of course.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god, I’m first?
+
+MATT: First and foremost, Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, right, okay.
+
+MATT: It has completely attached itself, and the
+end of its tendrils coming to these pointed hook
+
+protrusions, this thick flesh webbing between each
+of these tentacles that form the umbrella-type
+
+shape, have all engulfed most of Nott, and you
+hear the muffled (muffled yelling) from within,
+
+and the little bit of the feet trying desperately
+to hold onto the boat and maintain balance.
+
+TRAVIS: Jesus. Do I have a clear line of sight to
+Nott and octopus fuck?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I won’t hit Caleb, right?
+
+MATT: Probably not. You know what you’re doing.
+
+LAURA: It looks like no, I’m seeing your angle.
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty sturdy though, so I wouldn’t
+sweat it.
+
+TRAVIS: As I’m looking, is it Nott and then
+octopus behind it, or is it enveloping him so I can’t–
+
+MATT: No, it’s enveloped, and is currently wrapped
+around.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. I’m going to send an Eldritch
+Blast towards the octopus.
+
+SAM, ASHLEY, and TALIESIN: (muffled yelling)
+
+SAM: Not again!
+
+LAURA: Oh, my glasses are in my car, shit.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 1d10. That is eight points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage, nice. Does that end
+your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+SAM: Do I take any of that?
+
+MATT: No, you do not.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, with my bonus action, can I cast
+Hex on umbrella fuck?
+
+MATT: You cannot, unfortunately, because– Well,
+no, because Eldritch Blast is a cantrip, so you can.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Yes you can.
+
+TRAVIS: Woo! That’s 1d–
+
+MATT: Well, you would have had to have done that
+first.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. That’s on the next thing,
+right.
+
+MATT: Correct. But next time it gets hit by you,
+you can add extra damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Copy that.
+
+MATT: Okay. That finishes your go.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s like Hunter’s Mark.
+
+MATT: Now it’s their turn. Being attached to
+there, the strange darkmantle-like beast–
+
+TRAVIS: Can it have disadvantage on strength
+checks?
+
+MATT: It can, sure.
+
+TRAVIS: I never said that before. I got to
+remember.
+
+MATT: Yep. There you go. strength checks it is.
+All right.
+
+MARISHA: It’s okay. It’s not that big a deal.
+
+MATT: You watch as it begins to slowly crush
+around Nott, instead its eyes flash red, and you
+
+watch as a familiar-looking orb of blackness
+emanates from it, completely filling this space
+
+with darkness. So at the moment, everyone on that
+boat is blind.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, I don’t think I can– since I have
+danger sense, can I be blinded?
+
+MATT: You can be blinded, but you have advantage
+on dexterity saving throws against things that you see.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: But do you see it?
+
+MARISHA: So it did like an ink cloud.
+
+MATT: Essentially, but a magical darkness that
+radiates outside of it. Another one going towards
+
+the source of the beam of light that had emitted
+and damaged its ally sweeps down towards Fjord and
+
+attempts to go ahead and wrap around.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit!
+
+MATT: That is going to be 21 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That definitely hit.
+
+MATT: You take five points of bludgeoning damage
+as well–
+
+LAURA: Wait, another one came down on Fjord?
+
+MATT: And attaches itself to Fjord, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no.
+
+TRAVIS: (muffled yelling)
+
+LAURA: It’s going to make us blind too, we got to
+kill it quick.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Can I try to get out of the grapple? Is that
+a thing that I can do?
+
+MATT: You can attempt to. You have to make a
+strength check to do so.
+
+SAM: All right. I will push with all my little
+might against the creepy– Ooh! Just a strength check?
+
+MATT: Yes, a strength check.
+
+SAM: 18!
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’ll do it. So you manage to break
+free from its grasp.
+
+SAM: (yell) That’s my action.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: I can’t see it.
+
+MATT: Nope, it is just darkness. You push it off
+of you, and you still have nothing before you. You
+
+didn’t see the darkness emit from it, you’ve just
+thrown it off and you’re still blind. It’s a
+
+little off putting to you at the moment.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll spend the rest of my turn trying
+to figure out if that was caused by just touching
+
+the water. Because I’m not sure what happened.
+
+MATT: Okay, you throw the creature off, whatever
+is on you, and it’s just darkness around you. You
+
+start reaching out for some sort of sign of
+something in your vicinity.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: Are you holding an action?
+
+SAM: I used my action to–
+
+MATT: No, that’s right. That’s your turn. That
+brings us to Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to go (mild screaming)
+and do a straight whack on it. Sorry Fjord, it’s
+
+on you! Ooh, that’s a natural 19. 25.
+
+MATT: 25 hits, roll damage.
+
+SAM: We’ll remember where they are. It’s fine,
+just leave them.
+
+MARISHA: What is it? 1d– that’s not great, six
+damage.
+
+MATT: Six point of damage to that one, all right.
+It’s glomped onto Fjord’s head, the rest of it
+
+pulling and wrapping into the insides of his
+armor. You hit it just above where– you feel the
+
+impact, Fjord, but it’s mostly absorbed by the
+strange, rubbery, flesh exterior of this creature.
+
+TRAVIS: Ow.
+
+MARISHA: Did I hurt you?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! (whack) I deck him right across the
+face. Yeah, I’ll take that, 16.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit, roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like getting punched with a
+motorcycle helmet on.
+
+MARISHA: Seven damage.
+
+MATT: Nice. You clock both this creature and Fjord
+across the chin. No damage to you, Fjord, but you
+
+are a bit dizzy from the impact in the darkness
+around your face.
+
+TRAVIS: (strained) I feel like that was personal.
+
+MARISHA: Ah, one more. I’m going to do flurry of
+blows.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+TRAVIS: (impacts)
+
+MATT: Essentially.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural 17. That’s a four, eight
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight damage, nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Sick, good turn.
+
+LIAM: We are level four. Eight damage, sick.
+
+MATT: After you deck the darkmantle across the
+face and Fjord, you backhand with a full back fist
+
+blow to the side. You see it almost detach, and
+it’s looking like it’s scrambling to hold on. That
+
+finishes your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+TRAVIS: I am definitely woozy.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take out my swords, and
+just I’m going to try and cleave some of these
+
+tentacles off. See if I can start to get it to
+lose its grip. I’m going to take my first shot.
+
+I’m going to stop saying that. That’s a 23 to
+hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: (gunshot)
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. Nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: As you take the blade and swing, you cut
+down pretty close to where Fjord’s head is. As you
+
+cleave through the body actually splits, revealing
+Fjord’s face. As it limply falls off into the
+
+water slinking into the sludge.
+
+LAURA: It looks like he was being born.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome! We probably should head towards
+the other one.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: That ends my turn.
+
+MATT: All righty, that brings us to Jester.
+
+LAURA: I can’t see anything on the other side.
+
+MATT: No, you can just see darkness.
+
+TALIESIN: But we can boat in there.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I mean I will move the boat closer
+up.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that was terrible, six.
+
+MATT: Six, okay. You struggle, it doesn’t seem to
+get purchase. You’re confused by this.
+
+LAURA: I can’t move the boat, y'all.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s a lot going on in the moment and
+you’re trying to figure out what to do. You don’t
+
+quite have the gumption to get it catching up
+relatively fast. So it goes just five feet.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Does that count as an action or a
+movement?
+
+MATT: That would be your action on that one.
+
+LAURA: Cool.
+
+SAM: Welcome back, Laura.
+
+LAURA: Thanks. This is fun, guys. All right, then
+I’m going to save–
+
+LIAM: Mistress of the Hunt.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. That’s what I got, I guess. Yeah.
+Sweet.
+
+MATT: That ends Jester’s turn. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, well, I guess I wouldn’t know this.
+His went into the water?
+
+MATT: Well no, you have no idea.
+
+LAURA: Did you hear a splash?
+
+MATT: You watched as it slip around Nott and
+darkness envelop it, and that’s all you know.
+
+TRAVIS: You heard a (yelp) (impact).
+
+MATT: You know the general direction of where it
+is.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, can I use the Light cantrip and see if I
+can make some light in the darkness? Or wait.
+
+Because I’m a Light Bearer.
+
+MATT: You are. You spend your action to create the
+Light cantrip. You watch as it flickers for a
+
+second and the darkness consumes the light. The
+spell has no effect.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I don’t know if I can still do this
+as a bonus action. Can I try to slowly move us a
+
+little forward?
+
+MATT: Yeah, if you want to. Well, that’s an action
+to do that, technically, so you couldn’t. You used
+
+your action to do the Light cantrip,
+unfortunately.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: So that’s your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah that’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Okay, Caleb you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I went from being able to see almost nothing
+to seeing nothing. I heard Nott get scholpped in
+
+and then I heard some cry. So I raise up the glove
+of blasting and I’m going to fire at where I think
+
+this thing is.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: I’m dead.
+
+MATT: That’s Scorching Ray for that?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Three attacks.
+
+LIAM: Three strikes at disadvantage.
+
+MATT: All at disadvantage because you’re blind.
+
+LIAM: That’s correct. Okay, good. For the first is
+16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, let me do them all. 11.
+
+MATT: 11 just hits.
+
+LIAM: Und 15.
+
+MATT: All three hit, actually, even blinded.
+
+LIAM: (frantic noises) Plus that is ten. The total
+is 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage. All together, right?
+Nope. It loses concentration on its darkness.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: But is still standing. You watch as the
+darkness flickers out of the way. There’s flames
+
+burning around the outside and three giant singe
+marks on the outside of its rubbery skin. It’s
+
+floating in the air there for a second before it’s
+going back in for a swoop against the one who
+
+recently singed it.
+
+LIAM: Okay, before it hits me, I’ll say I sit down
+on the bench and just go (whimper).
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn, top of the
+round. The boats continue further downstream.
+
+TALIESIN: What are those things on the side?
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+SAM: Those are just rocks.
+
+LAURA: That’s not a rock.
+
+SAM: It’s fine. It’s rocks.
+
+MATT: Top of the round, Fjord, it’s you.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to cast Armor of Agathys on
+myself.
+
+MATT: You watch as the moisture from the air and
+some of the water droplets from the river, from
+
+the splashing of the boat suddenly stick up and
+congeal in ice form around the outside of Fjord’s body.
+
+TRAVIS: Hex is still maintained on that bastard,
+right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: So I can roll 1d6. Or do I, for the– I
+cast Hex on the one that was on Nott.
+
+MATT: It only takes the 1d6 damage when you damage
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, right.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. Another one swoops
+down and is going to attempt to envelope the one
+
+that scorched its ally.
+
+LIAM: I am a monk, it’s fine.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 14 to hit.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, of course it hits.
+
+MATT: You take nine points of bludgeoning damage
+and it is attached to you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah that’s wunderbar.
+
+MATT: The one that is still existing is going to
+attempt to attach to you once again, Nott.
+
+SAM: No!
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 12 to hit.
+
+SAM: Does not.
+
+MATT: That is a miss.
+
+LAURA and SAM: Yay.
+
+LAURA: Things are looking up, you guys.
+
+MATT: That ends their go. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I will, seeing the one on Caleb, spin around
+and fire my hand crossbow at that one.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and make an attack with
+disadvantage, because you are in melee with
+
+another creature. The other creature that tried to
+grapple you is right up against you. So it is
+
+still harrying you when you’re trying to fire.
+
+SAM: Disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Does she get sneak attack since I’m adjacent
+to that?
+
+MATT: Yeah, if she hits.
+
+SAM: It was going to be good, ten.
+
+MATT: Ten does not hit, unfortunately. You attempt
+to fire and at the last minute it shifts out of
+
+the way. You can see Caleb’s chest exposed to
+where you were aiming, and you pull back and fire
+
+wide off into the darkness.
+
+SAM: Then I’ll turn again and shoot with my bonus
+action at the one that I’m engaged with.
+
+MATT All righty.
+
+SAM: Disadvantage, right?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: So 20 to hit.
+
+MATT: 20 does hit. You don’t get sneak attack,
+however, because this guy is not engaged with
+
+anyone else. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: I will still say: Get off of my boat. I cause
+two points of damage. Oh wait, no! Six points of damage.
+
+LIAM: One question, is Frumpkin by the thing?
+Because Frumpkin is an ally.
+
+MATT: I don’t know if Frumpkin–
+
+LIAM: I know that I have read that Frumpkin can
+help me give me advantage.
+
+SAM: But he is not engaged, is he?
+
+LIAM: Whatever you want.
+
+MATT: I’d say for now, given the fact that
+Frumpkin is in a small boat and the creature is
+
+flying up, I would not consider it harrying the
+entity enough to grant sneak attack. But it
+
+doesn’t matter. Because that was enough to finish
+it off. It had already been damaged quite a bit in
+
+the previous round. So as you fire your final
+crossbolt into that one it (impact) (splash) into
+
+the river below. You watch as it sink below the
+water as your boat begins to scoot by (scraping
+
+noise) and begins grinding against this center
+stone here in the middle of the river. It’s just
+
+barely making its way around. Finishing that,
+that’s the end of Nott’s turn, Beau you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, is the one still next to me? That
+was attacking Fjord.
+
+MATT: No, that one has been slaughtered. There is
+one on Caleb over there.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, there’s one on Caleb. He’s still on
+top of him?
+
+MATT: It is currently attached to him around his
+head, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’m probably not within five feet.
+
+MATT: Nope. There’s probably about a ten foot
+distance between you and the other boat.
+
+LAURA: Leap for it!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I’m going
+to do some cool monk shit! I’m going to–
+
+SAM: Why do I get disadvantage?
+
+LAURA: Because it’s a ranged attack.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but I ignore all disadvantage with my
+Crossbow Expert feat.
+
+MATT: Oh that’s right, because you got a feat for
+it.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So you would not have disadvantage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+SAM: Well, next time.
+
+MATT: Well, we’ll let you roll damage for Caleb’s
+because it did work.
+
+SAM: That’s going to be a lot of damage.
+
+MATT: I forgot that you had gotten that feat. Go
+for it.
+
+SAM: Wait, I don’t even remember what I rolled.
+
+MATT: The first one was high the second one was
+low.
+
+SAM: All right. That’s a lot. It’s 20 points of
+damage.
+
+LIAM: I would say leave me in that motherfucker.
+
+TALIESIN: That was an intense roll right now.
+
+SAM: It’s okay, I don’t need it.
+
+MATT: So with that one moment as Beau’s preparing,
+you manage one blast of the crossbow that strikes
+
+square into one of the eyes of the creature. You
+hear this this strange guttural pain sound as it’s
+
+still holding onto Caleb, but seems to have taken
+a big hit. On your turn, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: (confused battle cry) Continuing on, I’m
+going to leap across and see if I can do a jump
+
+and a slap with the staff on top.
+
+MATT: For the purposes of this, roll an acrobatics
+check. This is a more parkour off of the boat
+
+using the weight.
+
+LIAM: This is your jam.
+
+MARISHA: Parkour.
+
+TRAVIS: The boat goes (bobbing in water).
+
+LIAM: Get it, Altaïr.
+
+TRAVIS: Sail!
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: So you jump, skip off the ground and–
+
+LAURA: Skip off the ground?!
+
+MATT: On the small stone in the center there and
+use the momentum from that with the staff
+
+swinging, go ahead make your strike against the–
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to swing upwards. Yep, that’s a
+natural 16, so 21. I don’t know why I rolled that
+
+die, that’s not necessary. Nine damage.
+
+MATT: Nine damage. With that, you manage to slap
+that one into two separate pieces that go slapping
+
+and sliding against the wall and splatter and
+begin to slick down the side of the cavern exterior.
+
+MARISHA: I take my staff and I wipe it on Caleb.
+
+MATT: Your hair’s slick back from the blood from
+the impact and the wound that gets taken.
+
+LIAM: In a split second before when I heard a
+blunt (impact): Oh, that was Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, are you all right? Your head’s
+okay?
+
+LIAM: I’m feeling pretty good. I feel
+streamlined.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the oil’s working for you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I clean up well.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, very dapper.
+
+MATT: Ending Beau’s turn, Beau, Caleb, Molly, and
+Jester you hear this mild rumble, and you watch as
+
+from the somewhat rocky outside of the two sides
+of the wall these large figures begin to burst
+
+from the exterior and begin to slowly make their
+way towards the edge. So their action and movement
+
+puts them right up to there, and this one moves up
+to there.
+
+LAURA: Earth elementals?
+
+MATT: You see them covered in greenish algae and
+vines. They look like they’re made of earth and
+
+stone. You’re not certain what the nature of what
+they are. They’re bottom heavy and crawling across
+
+the ground and pulling their body forward. You’re
+not even sure if they have feet.
+
+LAURA: (screaming)
+
+SAM: Good gravy.
+
+MATT: They’re coming up to the edge of the river.
+That’s going to end Beau’s turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: You did a–
+
+TALIESIN: Sure, I know. Are they within striking
+distance?
+
+MATT: They’re not yet, no.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to hold my action until
+something’s within striking distance.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I will also say I’m at least going to
+back up to the side of the boat where I’m far
+
+enough away from that thing as humanly possible.
+
+MATT: Okay. Well, that’s where Jester is.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, well fine.
+
+MATT: So you’re like, “Oh!” Jester still has the
+oars in place. Does that finish your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty, Jester your turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh. Well, I hate to use my action to
+do anything else, but I should probably try to get
+
+away from the thing that’s on the shore, huh?
+
+SAM: You’re going to action row?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to action row!
+
+MATT: All right, make a strength check please.
+
+LAURA: Strength check!
+
+SAM: Oar Master.
+
+LAURA: That’s a good one. That’s just Jester’s
+strength. That’s a 22.
+
+MATT: Oh shit! Jester is power rowing as it begins
+to (motor whir) down the river to about there.
+
+LIAM: Half of the skiff.
+
+TRAVIS: Got to go!
+
+MATT: You scoot by. The entity gets to the edge of
+the water and then watches it pass, its body
+
+shifting. It looks powerful, but it looks
+slow-moving.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my bonus action to turn
+around and go: Eat shit, rock face!
+
+MATT: Perfect. That ends Jester’s turn. Yasha,
+you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: All right. Yeah, I’m going to try to–
+
+MATT: Maneuver around?
+
+ASHLEY: Maneuver around.
+
+SAM: Smash into their boat?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a strength check.
+
+LIAM: Still the only light in here are my four
+globules, correct?
+
+MATT: Correct, which actually you had to roll a
+concentration check for.
+
+LAURA: Oh god.
+
+LIAM: Not so good.
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+LIAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: All right, so it is dark in here. Remember
+the Dancing Lights is concentration.
+
+SAM: Can we see anything?
+
+MATT: No, it is now absolutely pitch dark.
+
+LAURA: It’s pitch dark?!
+
+MATT: It’s pitch dark, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Didn’t you cast a Light spell?
+
+ASHLEY: I did.
+
+LAURA: It got eaten by the darkness.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it dispels the Light, unfortunately.
+It doesn’t encapsulate it. It dispels it. So you
+
+begin rowing in the direction in the darkness.
+What’d you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+MATT: 19? Oh yeah. Without issue, you can row past
+and just begin to get beyond your friends there.
+
+LAURA: We crash into each other and get stuck. Ah,
+let me go!
+
+MATT: That’s going to end Yasha’s go. Caleb,
+you’re up.
+
+LIAM: (foomphs)
+
+MATT: Okay, a couple lights go up again. You guys
+go from darkness to immediate light again and
+
+behind you see the two creatures dragging
+themselves forward by their upper body.
+
+LIAM: I scrabble back and squish in with Nott at
+the front of the boat.
+
+MATT: Okay. Top of the round now. The water
+carries the boats further down–
+
+SAM: We might be okay.
+
+MATT: To about there.
+
+LAURA: I think those things are going to get us.
+
+MARISHA: Eventually.
+
+MATT: We’ll say here, with the movement of the
+creatures, actually, they can’t catch up, because
+
+you guys managed to push ahead.
+
+SAM: Action row!
+
+MARISHA: Full Winklevoss twins!
+
+MATT: For the purposes of cinematic movement on
+this, you guys continue to row as hard as you can,
+
+looking back with the light pushed towards the
+back to give a view. They are failing to keep up
+
+with both Yasha and Jester keeping the ships going
+at full speed. Eventually, they both stop and
+
+begin to back up, heading back towards the
+vicinity where they had originally emerged,
+
+disappearing into the shadows and darkness behind
+you.
+
+SAM: We’ll never know what they were, what they
+could have done!
+
+LAURA: I know. Actually, I’m feeling a little
+guilty for calling him– What if he just wanted to
+
+be friends?
+
+SAM: That’s true. Maybe they had information for
+us.
+
+MARISHA: You’re feeling guilty for calling him
+rock-face, but not for telling him to eat shit? I
+
+like that. That’s great.
+
+LIAM: Bye!
+
+MATT: As the sounds of the underground river begin
+to fill your senses once more, you settle and
+
+listen, and the quiet, aside from the slow rushing
+of the river, is all you hear. Who’s at the front
+
+of each boat keeping an eye out?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m at the front of ours.
+
+MATT: Fjord moves to the front of that boat. Who’s
+at the front of the other?
+
+LIAM: I guess I am.
+
+MATT: I would like you both to make a perception
+check, please.
+
+SAM: Crazy roll there, Travis.
+
+TRAVIS: Forget that. I get to reroll. That’s a
+natural one.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LIAM: 12.
+
+MATT: 12. Okay. As you guys are moving along,
+Fjord, mildly distracted, partially from the mist
+
+that is rising up from the ice and armor–
+
+MARISHA: Drinking a drink with cold ice.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you focus off to the side, and to the
+north side of the riverbank you see a shift in
+
+texture and a mild rock slide. Part of the wall
+has caved in a bit and is now pushing into part of
+
+the river.
+
+LIAM: Halt. Wait. Stop.
+
+SAM: He says to stop!
+
+LAURA: I’m trying!
+
+SAM: Action brakes!
+
+LAURA: (squeals)
+
+LIAM: Can you fight against the current for a
+moment?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we’re rowing backwards.
+
+LIAM: Okay, it’s going to get dark in here for a
+second, all right? But don’t worry. I drop the
+
+globules and I cast Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: Okay. So as you focus on– What’s the range
+on that one?
+
+LIAM: It is only 30 feet.
+
+MATT: 30 feet, okay. As you guys drift lazily down
+the course of the river–
+
+LAURA: Slowly.
+
+LIAM: I’m focusing, obviously, on the rock slide
+that you just described.
+
+MATT: As you move in that direction past the rock
+slide, you get a faint source of magic further
+
+beyond that rock slide.
+
+LIAM: Beyond the rock slide?
+
+MATT: You get a better look at it. Actually, you
+don’t get a better look because you don’t have light.
+
+LIAM: That’s on one side of the passage that we
+are in?
+
+MATT: That’s on the north side of it, yes.
+
+LIAM: If I crane my neck in the other direction,
+is there anything on that side?
+
+MATT: Nope. Nothing of magical essence on that
+side of the chamber.
+
+LIAM: All right, well, in the darkness, you hear:
+There is something of an arcane nature in the
+
+middle of those rocks that were ahead of us. What
+do you want to do? Do you want to go scrabbling in
+
+the dirt or do you want to keep going forward? It
+could be something beneficial or it could be terrible.
+
+SAM: Are there sides of the river?
+
+LIAM: Nobody can see anything right now.
+
+MATT: Those with darkvision get a better view as
+they get closer. At this point, you’ve gotten
+
+close enough for your magical essence so you get a
+view of this, Nott. You can see on the northern
+
+side of it, the cavern wall that has been slowly
+shifting through millennia of mineral buildup
+
+changes into bits of solid, smooth stone and a
+portion of it collapsed into what this rock slide is.
+
+MARISHA: We were looking for a collapse. A change
+in texture.
+
+SAM: We should go investigate.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: This is it.
+
+LAURA: Should we park the boats?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s park the boats.
+
+LAURA: Can we have some light?
+
+LIAM: Does anyone have a torch? I would prefer to
+keep this up for the time being.
+
+ASHLEY: I pull out a torch.
+
+MATT: Yasha ignites a torch. The fire burns
+brightly and the interior of this chamber now is
+
+very easy to see the details around you. The water
+is still cruising by as you guys begin to make
+
+your way up along the shore a bit, stepping off to
+the side of the river and pulling the boats up on
+
+the rocks. They’re not going to continue to be
+carried down by the stream.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take my old little dry flowers
+and just stick them in his gross, ichor-y hair.
+
+LIAM: Do I look like The Gentleman right now?
+
+MATT: The Gentleman on hard times, maybe.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: A little less blue.
+
+LIAM: It’s not that weird.
+
+MATT: Past about a roughly ten-foot wide portion
+of this wall that has fallen in, part of the
+
+ceiling has come in and above it is just dirt.
+It’s loose rock and pieces of well-carved stone
+
+and masonry that have been destroyed, apparently
+upon exiting whatever was beyond this wall.
+
+LIAM: Can I see what was giving me the arcane
+signature?
+
+MATT: You feel it on the opposite, the other side
+of this rock slide.
+
+LAURA: Can we clear out these rocks?
+
+TRAVIS: I think we just need to get closer.
+
+LAURA: But we’re right here.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. What about you two beefcakes? Can you
+move these stones out of the way?
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: (grunting)
+
+MATT: Both of you make athletics checks to get
+through the endurance of pulling these stones out
+
+of the way.
+
+LAURA: Well, that’s totally cocked, that was
+terrible. Athletics?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: Between the two of you, about ten minutes
+pass as you watch your two beefy companions, one
+
+after another, moving large stones and rocks,
+scooping them out of the way, some spilling and
+
+rolling into the water, other ones being pushed
+off to the side.
+
+LIAM: Question, because the spell that I cast only
+lasts ten minutes, somewhere around the eight or
+
+nine minute mark, do I see– You said it was on
+the other side of the rock slide, so are they
+
+uncovering anything before the spell is gone?
+
+MATT: I’d say about the time it begins to fade,
+you guys begin to see a faint purple glow through
+
+a breach of this slide leading into the next
+chamber. It’s a very faint pinkish purple light source.
+
+SAM: Like coming from another room?
+
+MATT: Coming from that room. It looks like there’s
+a room or a chamber beyond.
+
+LIAM: So not a door, but just a passageway?
+
+MATT: You’re just starting to expose it a bit. All
+you’re seeing is the light and stone on the
+
+opposite end. But there is a gap. There’s about a
+ten-foot space between where you’re starting to
+
+see this and where you see the light reflecting on
+whatever this other surface is within. About then,
+
+your spell fades.
+
+LIAM: The torch is still up.
+
+MATT: The torch is still up, yeah. You guys manage
+to pull the stones from it, the final bits leaving
+
+just enough of a space where you can crawl through
+independently. You are now looking into the center
+
+of a spiral staircase.
+
+TRAVIS: I remember they said they threw an
+explosive behind them and dropped even more, so
+
+this won’t be the first rock slide.
+
+MARISHA: They said that the glowing orbs that made
+the men collapse were purple.
+
+SAM: This all checks out. We are in the right
+place.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that sound like a will-o’-wisp?
+
+MATT: Will-o’-wisps generally fade like a dull
+yellow-green color.
+
+TALIESIN: Does this ring any bells, then?
+
+MATT: Not particularly. As you begin to move
+beyond, you can look up inside this spiral
+
+staircase. Above you and about two feet up the
+corner, there is a wrought iron cage that is built
+
+into the wall, containing a small crystal-like
+stone that is purple in color that is giving off
+
+this light source.
+
+LAURA: Ooh. Hey, Caleb, look! Don’t you want to
+steal that? It’s probably magic.
+
+LIAM: It’s possible that I will want to steal it,
+but can I make anything out? Does it look like
+
+anything that I have read about or encountered
+before?
+
+MATT: There have been different artifacts that
+have been enchanted with equivalents of either
+
+Continuous Flame or a magic that themselves can
+emanate light. The way it’s affixed to here, it
+
+looks like it’s designed to be a general light
+source.
+
+LIAM: So it’s a glow stick.
+
+MATT: Essentially, yeah. It’s a purple glow
+stick.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, let’s get in there.
+
+LIAM: But it’s in an iron cage?
+
+MATT: Like a small iron cage that is bolted into
+the stone.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a nice sconce.
+
+LIAM: Let’s continue on.
+
+MATT: Okay, you have two directions. Up or down?
+
+LAURA: Would you want to go up?
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, we’re in the spiral staircase and it
+goes–
+
+MATT: It goes up or down. You pull through and
+begin to find your way into the spiral staircase.
+
+It’s about, roughly, eight or ten feet wide as it
+continues downward. It also continues upward.
+
+You’re entering partway through the staircase.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: We can’t see around the bend to how far
+down it goes, right? Is it an open spiral
+
+staircase or just a wall?
+
+MATT: No, no. It’s closed. There’s an actual
+column in the center of it so you have to traverse
+
+up or down to get more of a view of where it
+leads.
+
+LIAM: Before we leave this little cage, does it
+look bolted into place?
+
+LAURA: It’s a couple flights up, though, you
+said?
+
+MATT: Well, no. It’s just right around the corner
+on the edge, locked into the central pillar.
+
+TRAVIS: We can only see as far up as the curves go
+in either direction.
+
+MATT: Yeah. It looks like the edges of the cage
+where the metal has been bent–
+
+LIAM: It’s small?
+
+MATT: It’s small. It’s about that big and it’s
+pressed into the stone, like the stone was
+
+probably ground into various holes and then the
+iron was put in there and then sealed in. You
+
+don’t know how easy or hard it would be to
+remove.
+
+TRAVIS: Unless it lets people know when something
+crosses in front of it.
+
+LIAM: Maybe later. Let’s continue on. Which way do
+we want to go?
+
+LAURA: Let’s go down. Usually scarier things are
+down.
+
+MARISHA: I’m always a fan of going down.
+
+TALIESIN: More expensive things tend to be up, but
+I’m happy to start with down.
+
+SAM: Gross. Just gross.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+SAM: You’re super gross.
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t even catch that!
+
+LIAM: You have one setting. Naughty.
+
+SAM: Offensive!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to head downwards.
+
+MATT: All right. What is the marching order
+heading downward?
+
+SAM: We’re going down? Do you need me to check for
+traps?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, please.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so Nott in front.
+
+MATT: Nott in front. Who’s after Nott?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll go behind Nott.
+
+SAM: I’ll take a big swig of shitty alcohol.
+
+MATT: Okay. Who’s after Yasha?
+
+LAURA: I guess I can be after Yasha.
+
+MATT: All right. Jester after Yasha.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m right in the middle.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m after Jester or after Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Where do you want to be?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take up the rears.
+
+SAM: (deep voice) I always take up the rears.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m always a fan of the rears.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I was going to say not the back, but I
+will let the bruiser walk behind me.
+
+MATT: So Beau’s at the back keeping an eye open.
+As you guys slowly step down the stone stairs,
+
+deeper and deeper still–
+
+SAM: Check for traps!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s cocked as hell.
+
+SAM: Is that cocked? As hell?
+
+MATT: Is there a number up top?
+
+SAM: There is, but now it just moved.
+
+MATT: Roll it again.
+
+SAM: Well, that’s a natural 20.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That’s an embarrassing 20.
+
+MATT: You guys continue down for about 40 feet or
+so, very slowly, very carefully, as Nott inspects
+
+each individual step, eyes lurking around looking
+for any signs of uneven stone, of gaps between the
+
+mason work. Nothing catches your attention. You
+hit the very base of the stairway before it evens
+
+out. There is a small intermediate chamber that’s
+about 15 feet wide and only about five feet–
+
+sorry. 15 feet long and about five feet wide, and
+then a thin hallway about four or five feet wide
+
+that goes on for about 25 feet. You don’t see
+anything beyond that. There is no light other than
+
+the torch light that you have currently.
+
+SAM: It’s 15 feet long?
+
+MATT: So as you exit the stairs–
+
+LIAM: The shaft is.
+
+MATT: It’s essentially five feet to each way on
+the ends.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: (laughing) No!
+
+SAM: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: Why are you cupping the balls under your
+mouth?
+
+SAM: Because this is where we are.
+
+MATT: It’s a rusty trombone, man. You never seen
+that?
+
+SAM: This is the shaft in front of me, and then
+there’s another? A longer shaft? So we can go down
+
+that shaft if we wanted to?
+
+MATT: Yes. Yes, Nott. That is correct. It looks to
+be five feet to each side of you once you exit the
+
+stairs, like a resting space.
+
+SAM: Okay, these are the balls.
+
+MATT: And then there is a four to five-foot wide
+shaft that continues forward.
+
+MARISHA: I have no chill? You talk to me two
+minutes later.
+
+MATT: I know. I’m proud of you.
+
+LIAM: Has it been that long?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think so.
+
+SAM: I have no idea of the layout of this room. I
+was just going for a gag.
+
+MATT: Congratulations! Nott’s been drinking enough
+where she’s not entirely certain where things are
+
+or where you are.
+
+LAURA: Are we free of traps in this little–
+
+SAM: There are no traps here.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Should we continue on straight ahead?
+
+LAURA: Should we send Frumpkin down there and see
+if it’s clear?
+
+SAM: Or Schmidt.
+
+LIAM: Well, Schmidt can’t see shit, but Frumpkin–
+can my cat see in the dark? I would know that. I
+
+don’t know.
+
+MATT: Cats, generally nocturnal? I would say it
+would have, unless it says in the actual– I will
+
+look in the Monster Manual. I’m fairly certain,
+having grown up with cats, that being nocturnal
+
+creatures they’d have it.
+
+LIAM: It makes sense for anyone who had gone into
+their basement and seen the cat go (humming).
+
+LAURA: Oh, yeah. Cats can see.
+
+TALIESIN: Cats can see your soul.
+
+MATT: They do not have darkvision, according to
+the rules.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, let’s go by the rules, then.
+
+LAURA: The rules need to be changed.
+
+MATT: But they do have perception on vision.
+
+LAURA: Why don’t you send your little dancing
+lights down there with him?
+
+LIAM: Well, I have a range on that. I don’t like
+that idea, actually.
+
+LAURA: What if I just send something that’s on
+fire and I throw it down the tunnel?
+
+LIAM: How about I send Frumpkin with you and
+between Frumpkin and you, we’ll be in good shape?
+
+SAM: Me and Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Am I protecting–
+
+LIAM: You’re just peeking.
+
+SAM: Okay. All right.
+
+LIAM: Who am I behind? Mollymauk. I place hands on
+his shoulders and send Frumpkin down ten feet
+
+ahead of Nott and I’m seeing–
+
+MATT: Ten feet ahead of Nott?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, or listening, and trying to listen and
+see through Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin darts ahead down that long,
+25-foot, very thin hallway to the opposite side
+
+and in the next chamber, what little bit of
+light’s making it in there– because it’s pretty
+
+low light, based on what little bit of torch is
+coming through, and it’s like a lantern light at
+
+this point, because only what’s coming through
+that hallway is then spreading out before you. You
+
+see a raised platform, about a foot high. It looks
+triangular in shape in the center of this room,
+
+and that’s all you can make out with the little
+bit of light that’s there, but the room continues
+
+on about another 20 or so feet beyond that
+entrance before it goes to darkness.
+
+LIAM: So it gets too dark and hazy past that
+altar.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, can you hand the torch down and get
+it to Nott so that she can go a little bit further?
+
+MATT: Nott, are you traveling down the hallway as
+well?
+
+SAM: I’m ten feet behind the cat.
+
+MATT: All right. As you approach the first bit of
+that hallway that continues downward, you step in,
+
+and at that moment, you hear this (click) and
+glance over to the right of you, as you checked
+
+for traps in the stairs, but not the hallway. You
+glance off to the side and can see a scattering of
+
+holes on each side of the wall, about nine or ten
+of them at different angles, and one of them goes
+
+(click). You glance over before something comes
+firing out at extremely fast, lightning speed
+
+towards you.
+
+MARISHA: Rogue shit!
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 26 to hit.
+
+SAM: That hits.
+
+MATT: You take five points of piercing damage as a
+long, metal bolt fires out of the hole and sticks
+
+you right in the front of the thigh.
+
+SAM: Ah! Fuck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I found a trap!
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+LIAM: Is it spent now?
+
+SAM: Let me check. I’ll see if there’s any other
+triggers for this trap.
+
+MATT: On this trap, at this floor point? You jump
+up and down. Make an investigation check if you
+
+want to, in the area.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: It looks like, whatever this trap is, the
+actual entire stone floor around you is a pressure
+
+plate that Frumpkin did not set off. It has not
+gone off since you’ve stepped on it, but as you’re
+
+investigating and listening closely to the stone,
+you hear a very slow (clicking).
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s resetting.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go forward a bit, onto the next
+pressure plate.
+
+MATT: Okay, that is 14 to hit?
+
+SAM: Does not hit.
+
+MATT: Does not hit? This time, hearing the (arrow
+firing) out of the side, and being ready for it,
+
+you duck out of the way and it splinters off and
+sparks against the stone.
+
+SAM: Oh god. There’s many of them.
+
+LIAM: Are you going to tell everybody about the
+pressure plates?
+
+SAM: Oh god, there’s lots of traps! I’m dying out
+here!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: We’re just seeing you. You’re really close
+to us, aren’t you?
+
+SAM: Boy, oh boy, rogues suck. How much further
+until the end of this hall?
+
+MATT: About ten feet from where you are.
+
+LAURA: Can you disarm the traps so you don’t keep
+just setting them off?
+
+LIAM: Do we have anything heavy to put on them to
+hold them down?
+
+SAM: They reset, though, right? I don’t know!
+
+LIAM: We don’t know.
+
+SAM: I’m on this one, and I’m going to listen to
+see if this one’s resetting also.
+
+MATT: (ticking sound)
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll see if there’s a way to disarm it,
+or plug the hole, or something.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a thieves’ tools
+check, which is your proficiency bonus plus
+
+dexterity modifier. Should be plus six, I think?
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18, okay. Looking at this central platform
+here, as you inspect it, listening to where it’s
+
+clicking, you listen for the holes that are
+clicking. Most of these holes are not actually
+
+functional, they’re just there to confuse whoever
+might notice that there’s an issue. Only one of
+
+them is active, and you listen very closely and
+listen for the one that’s making the clicking
+
+noise, and you quickly take one of your thieves’
+tools– or, not your thieves’ tools, something on
+
+you that can plug that hole. A piece of stone,
+something that you might have in your vicinity
+
+that might function to that degree.
+
+LAURA: A button!
+
+MARISHA: Ball bearings you stole from me.
+
+SAM: I do have ball bearings. Hold on, I have so
+many things.
+
+MATT: (ticking sound)
+
+SAM: Oh god. I don’t want to get rid of that,
+that’s cute. A vase!
+
+MATT: The holes are about that big.
+
+SAM: Ah, shit.
+
+MATT: (ticking sound)
+
+SAM: I take my brass doorknob and shove it in
+there.
+
+MATT: Okay, there is a section of the doorknob
+that will fit within that hole. You jam it in
+
+there, and you push and grind it in there until it
+feels wedged in the stone, and eventually you hear
+
+(ticking) (swoosh) and the door knob cracks for a
+second, and there’s no more clicking. Apparently
+
+you have managed to break that device.
+
+SAM: I am going to take the doorknob back.
+
+MATT: As you pull the doorknob out–
+
+SAM: Shit.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage– Oh, no that’s a 12 to
+hit.
+
+SAM: It shoots out anyway?
+
+MATT: It shoots out anyway, but haphazardly, and
+then it breaks.
+
+SAM: Great.
+
+MATT: You hear a (clanking) on the inside of the
+wall there, and that trap is busted.
+
+LAURA: Are there any more?
+
+SAM: I don’t know! I check for more traps. Two for
+investigation.
+
+MATT: Two for investigation?
+
+LIAM: Has the party held up at this point?
+
+MATT: You guys are all just in the back watching
+this happen.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how to be a rogue!
+
+LIAM: While that happened, I would like to
+investigate the part of the room that I can see.
+
+Is there anything dangerous or hinky?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Yes, thank you.
+
+SAM: I rolled a seven. That was not a two, it was
+a seven.
+
+MATT: Okay, hard to tell at this point.
+
+SAM: Great. We’re all clear!
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+MATT: The chamber you’re in right now? Looking
+around, you can see a heavy layer of dust across
+
+the floor and the edges of the wall.
+
+LIAM: This is where Frumpkin is, correct?
+
+MATT: Oh! Sorry, I thought you were checking for
+yourself.
+
+LIAM: Through Frumpkin’s eyes. The half of the
+room, or the portion of the room that Frumpkin can see.
+
+MATT: The portion that Frumpkin can see is just
+the center platform. The center platform, looking
+
+on top, has a series of symbols on it. Looking
+close, Frumpkin can see they aren’t symbols that
+
+are drawn on it, they are carved in. Actually, the
+triangular shape resembles that. The center hole
+
+is the deepest. It goes out of sight. The other
+ones are just mild carvings in the stone.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, is this going to be a puzzle?
+
+SAM: I hope so.
+
+LAURA: Oh, fuck me.
+
+MARISHA: Definitely a puzzle.
+
+ASHLEY: So that’s what’s up ahead?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys are still back waiting for
+Nott to finish walking through.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m just going to run across.
+
+MATT: You’re just going to run across?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m just going to run across and pick up
+Nott on the way.
+
+MATT: As you’re like, “Coast is clear!” Yasha
+comes rushing past. In the time that it’s taken,
+
+the first trap has reset. That is going to be an
+18 to hit?
+
+ASHLEY: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Ooh, that is 11 points of piercing damage,
+as it strikes you in the back of the calf,
+
+actually piercing through the muscle, and you
+stumble for a second. You rush past the floor
+
+where Nott is. No effect. The third one: it goes
+off. Another trap. That is going to be a 14 to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, that just hits.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be seven piercing damage to
+that one. This one catches you in the back, in the
+
+side of your rib cage, under your shoulder blade, and
+you manage to emerge into the next chamber with
+
+the torch now. Wounded–
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck!
+
+MATT: But you made it through. They’re both
+sticking out of you as you turn around and look in
+
+the chamber.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe nobody else do that.
+
+LAURA: No, I’m going to run.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like this is going well.
+
+SAM: I’m running.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys run through, it’s
+still resetting. Who’s going through?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going for it.
+
+LIAM: Are we all going?
+
+TRAVIS: Ah! I’m running!
+
+LIAM: I’m holding onto Mollymauk and just
+following.
+
+MATT: Who’s holding up the back?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll hold up the back. I want to look
+around and see if I see anything that looks of value.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage,
+because you’re now outside of the main light. The
+
+rest of you rush through, making it through, the
+traps have reset.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take that natural one and give
+another $100 to 826LA.
+
+MATT: Beau takes a moment there. Looking around
+the corners, it looks like this portion of the
+
+chamber is more of an antechamber or something
+that leads into the next bit. There’s nothing of
+
+worth or interest.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just things to shoot you in the
+fucking legs.
+
+MARISHA: Wait up for me!
+
+MATT: Okay. You run to the first chamber. It
+shoots out towards you. That’s cocked. That’s
+
+going to be a 16 to hit?
+
+MARISHA: Miss.
+
+MATT: Misses. Just past you. The second platform,
+Nott’s already disarmed. No effect. Third
+
+platform. Does come shooting out at you. That is
+going to be a natural 20.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+MARISHA: I want to catch it.
+
+MATT: Okay! Let’s see if it works.
+
+MARISHA: Knowing it’s coming.
+
+LIAM: It’s down low, though.
+
+MATT: 13 points of piercing damage for that one.
+
+MARISHA: 1d10 plus eight.
+
+LAURA: You can do it.
+
+LIAM: Get it.
+
+MARISHA: (groan) Wait, how many?
+
+MATT: 13.
+
+MARISHA: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. You catch it and it embeds itself about
+an inch into your chest before you pull it out.
+
+MARISHA: I caught it! Argh!
+
+MATT: You throw the bolt to the ground and
+continue on to the chamber. You only suffer two
+
+points of damage.
+
+MARISHA: Those are from earlier.
+
+SAM: I am so sorry. I did not handle that very
+well. I was told to check for traps and I missed
+
+many of them and I will strive to do better in the
+future and I’m sorry and this one, this one’s on me.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay, Nott.
+
+SAM: I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: I pat your head. You know, it’s a lot of
+stress. You’re learning still.
+
+SAM: It is! All these traps are different. I wish
+they would just stick with the rope across the
+
+hallway trap.
+
+LAURA: Then the log coming down!
+
+SAM: Yeah. That’s the one I know. It’s a tried and
+true classic.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s classic, really.
+
+MATT: As you guys now have a moment here to take
+in the chamber around you, Yasha holding the torch
+
+aloft, lighting up the vicinity. You’re now
+standing inside a tall, octagonal chamber that
+
+rises up about 25, 30 feet above you. A domed
+ceiling with abstract designs and symbols written
+
+in each pie-slots of this octagon around.
+
+LAURA: We’re at Burning Man, aren’t we? We’re at
+Burning Man.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a great installation.
+
+MATT: You see in the center where all of these
+triangular pieces of the dome meet in the center,
+
+there is a blue, thick ten foot wide pillar that
+descends about ten feet from the ceiling, about 15
+
+feet above you. It’s square and ominously held
+aloft.
+
+LAURA: That thing’s going to try to kill us.
+
+MATT: Below that, you see there is that triangular
+piece of stone and there is no visible exit to the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that triangular piece of stone raised
+off the floor?
+
+MATT: It’s raised off the floor about a foot or
+so.
+
+TRAVIS: How big is it?
+
+MATT: For each side, it’s about two and a half
+feet.
+
+MARISHA: It’s this thing?
+
+MATT: It’s that thing.
+
+SAM: How wide is the whole chamber again?
+
+MATT: The whole chamber would probably be about 50
+to 60 feet wide.
+
+LAURA: Oh wow. It’s big.
+
+TRAVIS: If we’re just coming into the area, which
+edge is pointing towards us? The flat or the point?
+
+MATT: From your perspective entering, this would
+be the front end and there’s these two sides
+
+there. You have the dome with all these symbols
+and strange designs upon each of these eight
+
+pieces of the octagon dome.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I recognize any of these symbols?
+Does anything look familiar?
+
+TRAVIS: From your brief life.
+
+MATT: What skills are you trained in?
+
+TALIESIN: Skills?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: What skills you got?
+
+TALIESIN: I got acrobatics, insight, deception,
+sleight of hand.
+
+MATT: Okay. What do you have? Proficient in?
+
+TRAVIS: (whistling) Going to have to get back to
+you. Perception, intimidation, investigation.
+
+SAM: Yeah, there’s a little dot next to it.
+
+TALIESIN: Investigation and survival also.
+
+LIAM: Arcana, insight, investigation.
+
+MATT: Well, as you look up. First off, as Yasha
+holds the torch up so you can see the symbols.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: What?! This is intricate.
+
+MARISHA: Look how cool!
+
+SAM: What are they? They’re all over the ceiling?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I have that kids’ toy that makes these. You
+spin it and the little pen goes around and around.
+
+LAURA: Are all those facing towards Fjord?
+
+MATT: All of these are from Fjord’s perspective.
+
+SAM: Those are on the ceiling?
+
+MATT: Those are on the ceiling, yes.
+
+SAM: Let me just check for traps.
+
+I’m going to walk around the
+immediate area checking for traps. 22.
+
+MATT: 22. As you slowly crawl your way around the
+exterior, checking the stone, checking the
+
+placement. You do see that each of these symbols
+are about maybe half an inch thick into there
+
+except for the centerpiece, which you cannot tell
+how deep it is. The hole in the center goes down
+
+for a while, from what you can tell.
+
+MARISHA: You said this was pretty big.
+
+MATT: It’s about two to two and a half feet
+to each side.
+
+LAURA: On the ground? Just on the ground?
+
+MATT: Yeah, flat on the ground.
+
+SAM: No traps?
+
+MATT: You do not see any traps around the interior
+of the chamber.
+
+LIAM: Something was giving off an arcane aura
+before we came in here, but I cannot see it now,
+
+so if you indulge me and give me ten minutes, I
+will–
+
+SAM: Ten minutes?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, take your time.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a check to see if I recognize
+any of these things?
+
+MATT: Are you trained in arcana?
+
+MARISHA: I can use my mystical erudition to spend
+a ki point.
+
+MATT: I will say because of your monk background,
+I will allow you to go ahead and attempt it as
+
+well. If the two guys trained in arcana as well
+are looking up at the symbols and studying them,
+
+you are welcome to do so.
+
+MARISHA: I get advantage on this.
+
+MATT: If you spend a ki point, yes you do.
+
+LAURA: Are the symbols just painted on the ground,
+or are they carved into the ground?
+
+MATT: Those symbols are carved in the ground.
+Those symbols on the ceiling of each space–
+
+LAURA: They’re on the ceiling?
+
+MATT: They’re on the ceiling in each octagonal
+piece of the dome; they’re painted above in a
+
+circle around.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+MATT: Okay. In the focus of intending to cast the
+Detect Magic spell, you’re not as focused on the
+
+symbols. However, the two of you, keenly,
+together, staring up at the ceiling, begin to make
+
+out something similar in these patterns. You don’t
+fully understand it, as it comes from whatever
+
+knowledge was imparted upon you from this entity
+you’ve made a pact with. You, however, in studying
+
+various forms of the arcane and coming into
+knowledge that isn’t your specialty, but knowing
+
+it is definitely a specialty, you look at each of
+these symbols, and these are not classically used,
+
+they’re improvised interpretations, or specific
+re-toolings of the symbols that mean each of the
+
+eight schools of magic. Between Fjord and Beau,
+you guys get to make out what each of these
+
+symbols means.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+MARISHA: Cool.
+
+TRAVIS: So I don’t know why I know this.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s like magic people code.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: The people I learned from were super into
+this shit.
+
+LAURA: Does that mean we have to cast some spells
+or something?
+
+MARISHA: I think it’s a puzzle. I feel like this
+thing rotates and we have to match the symbols on
+
+the bottom to the symbols that match the school of
+magic. It feels like the divination is a full
+
+symbol of the star.
+
+TRAVIS: It feels like the triangle is down here.
+
+MARISHA: Evocation, right? Then the diamond–
+
+LIAM: You can tell if you were to rotate it, it
+would line up. Triangle to triangle, that would
+
+bring the star to that one there.
+
+MARISHA: What would the diamond be?
+
+LIAM: There’s a diamond right there.
+
+SAM: Does it look like it goes inside?
+
+MATT: You can give it a shot if you want to.
+
+SAM: I’ll go gingerly touch the base and see if it
+moves a little bit.
+
+MATT: It does not shift at all.
+
+TRAVIS: Is anyone on the platform?
+
+MATT: Currently, no.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if you have to stick something in
+the hole and twist it.
+
+MARISHA: I bet there’s a key.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is still going through the ritual.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck it, I’ll stand up on the platform.
+
+MATT: Okay, you step onto the platform. A moment
+passes. Two. No effect.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I look down into that black hole in
+the center of it?
+
+MATT: You can, although in the light source
+Yasha’s currently holding, it just looks like shadow.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want it?
+
+TRAVIS: I have darkvision. Oh, yeah, I’ll take the
+torch.
+
+MATT: Okay, you take the torch and hold it over to
+give you a better glance over it. The hole
+
+descends about a foot and a half and stops.
+
+LAURA: Stick your wang in it.
+
+TRAVIS: I will put my finger in the hole,
+actually. I don’t know how big the hole is, but I
+
+want to feel if there are any grooves on the
+inside or any sort of indentations.
+
+MATT: Right. It’s roughly a half inch wide, so
+about that wide.
+
+TRAVIS: I put my little pinkie in it.
+
+MATT: Fits inside.
+
+TRAVIS: Solid walls?
+
+MATT: Solid walls on the inside.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, it’s short. There anything around
+here that looks like a staff or a pole or rod?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to start looking around,
+digging, seeing if I see anything that looks like
+
+it would fit the shape. I’m also going to shout
+out: Be careful, the shifty three were talking
+
+about an octagonal room where they got attacked.
+
+TRAVIS: The floor around this triangle shape, it’s
+flush in the ground, right? There’s no circle
+
+around the triangle platform?
+
+MATT: Correct. It is just flush and set in the
+ground.
+
+TRAVIS: So the ground’s not going to move. Maybe
+the ceiling has to move.
+
+LAURA: Oh, because of the thing in the middle.
+
+TRAVIS: Right. We’re not going to be able to turn
+the floor.
+
+SAM: How do we turn a ceiling?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we’ve got to go all the way back up
+to the top.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s my thought.
+
+SAM: The top of what?
+
+MARISHA: The spiral staircase.
+
+ASHLEY: To see from the top?
+
+MARISHA: We need a down here team and an up here
+team and maybe a Frumpkin to communicate through.
+
+LIAM: Well, I will remember this. I have a perfect
+memory, I will remember this exactly.
+
+LAURA: Does the pillar coming out of the ceiling
+have a hole in it as well?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: She’s good at finding holes.
+
+LAURA: I am really good at finding holes.
+
+LIAM: She talks about them a lot.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. 20.
+
+MATT: Glancing up at it, the pillar itself comes
+down in a square-shape, and the very base of it
+
+has a slight curvature or dome to it, but it is
+solid. You don’t see any seams in it, you don’t
+
+see any marking. It is just a solid pillar. It’s
+about ten feet wide or so.
+
+LIAM: Has ten minutes gone by yet?
+
+MATT: At this point, yeah, as they began to look
+around. You said you’re searching for anything
+
+else in the chamber.
+
+MARISHA: That looks like it would fit in the rod.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: As you begin to slowly make your way around
+the room, looking for any markings.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like that goes in the hole.
+
+LAURA: But the hole is–
+
+SAM: This wide.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, the hole is–
+
+MATT: The hole is like a half-inch wide.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 16.
+
+MATT: You spend a little while looking for any
+signs of grooves or where anything’s hidden. The
+
+chamber is solid, and there is nothing in the room
+that looks like it would– there’s nothing to grab
+
+on to. There are no other objects in here. It’s
+fairly empty, aside from this dome, that octagonal
+
+shape, and this small engraving on the ground, and
+that pillar at the top.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, do you have anything to draw these
+symbols?
+
+SAM: Wait, Jester draws great. Jester can draw.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah! Jester, please, both of you,
+yeah. Just to get a rendition of the ceiling in
+
+relation to the ground.
+
+LAURA: I open up my sketchbook and I start drawing
+the symbols. Here, look, I made this beautiful picture.
+
+MARISHA: You work so fast.
+
+LAURA: Well, I’m really talented.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t have a heal cantrip, do you?
+
+LAURA: Cantrip? No.
+
+ASHLEY: I have some potions.
+
+LIAM: Did Detect Magic reveal what was glowing in
+here before?
+
+MATT: No, this chamber is far further below. It’s
+40 feet below where you guys initially came
+
+through, so whatever you sensed earlier would have
+been near where you entered.
+
+LIAM: Oh, it was just the glow stick.
+
+MATT: It was probably the glow stick, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: I think maybe we need to see where those
+stairs go up.
+
+MARISHA: The stairs are back through the hall and
+up, right? They’re not in these chambers? It’s one
+
+big chamber?
+
+MATT: Nope. One big chamber with no other exit
+beyond the hallway you entered from.
+
+MARISHA: All right, I’ll jog up the stairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait. You’re going to wait until she
+disarms the–
+
+SAM: This is my chance for redemption.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry.
+
+SAM: Let me break the traps first.
+
+MARISHA: Get it, girl.
+
+TRAVIS, MARISHA, and ASHLEY: (singing) Get it
+girl, get it, get it girl.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) To the front, to the side, to
+the back. Disarm that trap.
+
+SAM: Can I have a handful of ball bearings?
+
+TALIESIN: I hand Nott a handful of ball bearings.
+
+SAM: Thank you. I’ll start working on it. I’m
+going to disarm trap three.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: 19, plus stuff.
+
+MATT: Oh, yeah. The next trap you come up to, you
+leap up onto the side, using your fingers to dig
+
+into some of the holes there, and jam about three
+ball bearings into the one hole that you see is
+
+the one where the bolt is actually embedded
+within, and as soon as you step back down, you
+
+hear this grinding noise, and the trap is pretty
+shattered from the inside.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’m going to go to trap one. Ooh, not
+as good. Six plus six, right? 12?
+
+MATT: 12. The middle one is still broken. There’s
+only three platforms you’ve seen that actually
+
+lead to this trap. You’ve broken two of them. The
+third and final one, you go to attempt to put the
+
+ball bearing in there.
+
+SAM: Oh boy.
+
+MATT: However, it does shoot forth, through your
+thumb. That’s going to be a 21 to hit.
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: You take eight points of piercing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Redemption is fucking painful.
+
+MATT: Actually, it goes through your thumb and
+into your hand and into your wrist, and so you’re
+
+bolted through there and it’s sticking out right
+there, and you’re like (shocked sounds). The shock
+
+hits you– you don’t feel the pain yet, you’re
+looking at it jutting through your hand.
+
+SAM: (heavy breathing)
+
+TALIESIN: We can fix that.
+
+SAM: While it’s reloading, I’m going to jam some
+ball bearings in with my other hand and try to
+
+break it.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll one more time.
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that including the bonus?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+MATT: You’re having a hard time breaking it. You
+hear the clicking going and you’re putting the
+
+ball bearings, and they keep slipping back out,
+and you can’t find the right way to keep it in.
+
+You have too much pain from your hand.
+
+LIAM: She’s too drunk.
+
+SAM: What else I got?
+
+MATT: (ping) Another one fires out towards you.
+That’s going to be a 13 to hit.
+
+SAM: Misses.
+
+MATT: So you duck out of the way. You attempt to
+jam it back in.
+
+SAM: (frustrated growl) I’m going to try one more
+time. Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Angrily, with your one good hand, you take a
+handful of bearings and jam them inside, holding
+
+your wrist there as you can feel the (impact)
+inside, and then a spring breaks somewhere beneath
+
+the stone. All three traps have been disabled.
+
+LIAM: Sorry, 826.
+
+SAM: (relieved panting) All clear!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, well done with– oh my god, your
+hand!
+
+SAM: It’s fine, it’s nothing. It’s fine, it’s just
+a little blood.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s– ugh.
+
+LIAM: You want to deal with that right away.
+
+SAM: (pained groaning)
+
+MARISHA: Hey, can I keep that? I think I can throw
+it later.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, here you go.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you. Thanks, Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you just pocket a thumb?
+
+SAM: No, that’s the bolt.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, sorry, here’s your thumb back. I just
+want the bolt.
+
+LIAM: Big Lebowski.
+
+TRAVIS: You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
+
+MATT: As you’re bleeding profusely from your
+wounded hand, you guys head up the stairway?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, who’s going up?
+
+LIAM: Well, here’s what I think: I can send these
+little globules of light quite a ways, and I can
+
+also send Frumpkin quite a ways, so why don’t we
+let Frumpkin have a look and we just hang back?
+
+TALIESIN: I think let’s all head up in that
+direction, but put Frumpkin first. I think
+
+Frumpkin ahead, but let’s–
+
+TRAVIS: Ten feet ahead is fine.
+
+MARISHA: I have a feeling there’s going to be a
+lever-y or a move-y situation.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re also going to have to keep
+checking for traps and then we’ll send people down
+
+when we need it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you might need opposable thumbs.
+
+SAM: Hey! It’s too soon!
+
+MARISHA: Sorry!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we start heading up with Frumpkin
+ten feet in front.
+
+LIAM: Let’s say 30 feet in front of the group with
+one of my Dancing Lights about ten feet behind
+
+her– him? Him.
+
+MATT: Him. It’s your pet.
+
+SAM: Wait, so who’s going up?
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody.
+
+SAM: But who’s going to be downstairs to–?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we’ve got to figure out what we–
+
+LIAM: It’s all right. Jester drew it, I remember
+it, we’re good.
+
+MATT: Marching order heading upstairs?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the front.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take second position.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take third.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take back.
+
+MATT: Yasha’s in the back with Frumpkin up ahead.
+Perfect. As you guys progress, spiraling up the
+
+staircase, you come by the glowing purple orb
+that’s embedded in the wall, and you’re helping
+
+Caleb come up the stairs, vision currently focused
+through Frumpkin. Frumpkin heads above, curling
+
+upward another 60 or so feet above where you
+entered– so 100 feet above, spiraling, where this
+
+base floor you had already inspected was.
+Eventually, it emerges into a fairly wide
+
+square-looking chamber.
+
+LIAM: Looking for dangerous shit.
+
+MATT: All right. Frumpkin emerges and looks
+inside. It’s a Baroque-style grand chamber, with
+
+intricate designs and a beautiful interior. The
+floor itself is solid marble squares that are
+
+off-color to each other and give almost a
+checkered pattern to it. Against each wall, the
+
+walls are carved to be beautifully intricate with
+half-pillars carved out of them, and parts that
+
+are inset with art pieces once were set, but are
+gone. There are shelves in places in here, where
+
+things of worth were once set but have already
+been taken. The opposite side of the room, by the
+
+way, has completely fallen in. This chamber should
+be about 80 feet across, but it looks like
+
+something has happened and caused it to collapse
+inward, and the chamber is slightly tilted to one
+
+side. There’s a slight tilt, a decline towards the
+left-hand side of the chamber. There are two
+
+load-bearing pillars that mark the center of the
+chamber that lead up to the ceiling, and the
+
+ceiling itself is about 30 feet up, similar height
+to the previous chamber you were in. Make a
+
+perception check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: For me through Frumpkin is terrible. Seven.
+
+MATT: With the low light in the chamber, it’s hard
+to make out any of specific details beyond that,
+
+but this is what you can see. The collapsed
+opposite side of the chamber that has fallen in,
+
+and there is rubble and stone and earth that has
+filled the opposite side of the chamber. There is
+
+the nice marble floor and the designs and carvings
+in the sides of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there any sort of door at the top of
+the stairs that leads into this chamber, or is it
+
+just open?
+
+MATT: It just opens up. The spiral staircase just
+emerges into that chamber.
+
+LIAM: Knowing distance, space, the direction of
+north at all times, with Frumpkin in there, am I
+
+able to tell how far back we are from this
+chamber? We’re 20 feet back?
+
+MATT: You guys are about 15, 20 feet behind
+Frumpkin, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Would you say that Detect Magic is still
+cooking at this point? Are we still under the ten
+
+minutes from when I cast in the other room?
+
+MATT: You’re getting close to the tip of it– to
+the end of it.
+
+LIAM: Am I sensing anything?
+
+LAURA: (snickers)
+
+ASHLEY: Just the tip of it.
+
+LIAM: Find one thing you’re good at in life and do
+it for the rest of your life.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: So what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to scooch– well, no, I’m with
+Beau, so I’m asking if I sense anything of arcane nature.
+
+MATT: Nothing in the vicinity of the spiral
+staircase, no.
+
+LIAM: A retroactive question– no, never mind.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m going to pop a healing potion.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I can help you. You want me to heal
+you?
+
+SAM: I mean, I don’t want to impose, but I’m
+bleeding profusely.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Cure Wounds.
+
+MATT: Level one?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: She cast it on me, too?
+
+LAURA: I did it on you, too. So that’s seven
+points of healing for you.
+
+ASHLEY: Tight.
+
+MATT: Seven points for Nott? Okay, cool.
+
+LAURA: Does that help?
+
+SAM: It helps.
+
+TALIESIN: Still 11 down.
+
+MATT: Are you guys staying in the staircase or are
+you emerging into the chamber?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m walking in.
+
+MATT: So you all begin to make your way inside
+this chamber.
+
+LIAM: Anything arcane before it dips out?
+
+MATT: Nothing arcane in nature that catches your
+attention immediately in a 30 foot distance. Are
+
+you heading into the chamber?
+
+LIAM: No. I’m behind Beau.
+
+MATT: Okay. Behind Beau, at the entrance way, you
+don’t feel any arcane presence. The rest of you
+
+begin to push past, and make your way into the
+chamber. And once again you see–
+
+MARISHA: Any ghosty globbies?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll looking for will-o’-wisps.
+
+MATT: That’d be perception checks from both you
+guys. With Yasha’s torch and the globes you have
+
+there, you don’t have disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: I’m dropping Frumpkin vision.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Yes! That’s real good.
+
+MATT: Natural 20. You?
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+LIAM: You’re also good.
+
+MATT: Okay, you notice a couple things.
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+MATT: One, there is a relief in the center of the
+chamber, right before the wall collapse covers the
+
+floor built into the marble. It resembles two
+faces and one body in the center. Like one torso
+
+leads into two faces that look upward. Their eyes
+are gone, there’s circular empty sockets where the
+
+faces are and their emotionless expressions
+looking upward. Very thinly carved into the ground.
+
+MARISHA: On the ground?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Looking from above you can see it, but
+looking from the side it looks very strange
+
+because it’s a very flat carving. You see that in
+the center, ahead in the chamber.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Are they like profiles, or are they
+front?
+
+MATT: No, they’re looking straight up. There’s two
+sockets to each, and they’re empty.
+
+MARISHA: Looking up, deadless? Okay. Copy.
+
+LAURA: Deadless?
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Lifeless
+
+MATT: Yes. Deadless. Deadlifts, yes, they’re
+looking up from the deadlifts, it’s–
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. Absorbing a lot at once. Keep
+going.
+
+MATT: You do look to the right and left hand sides
+of the chamber, you can see all the shelves and
+
+inset areas where artwork would have been placed.
+You do see two upside down acorn-style alcoves
+
+that are mirroring each other on each side of the
+chamber.
+
+LAURA: Does that look like that shape?
+
+MATT: From this distance, you can’t see. They’re
+open. They’re maybe about a foot tall and empty in
+
+the inside. With the light source you have at the
+moment you can’t see anything inside of them.
+
+Looking above you, you do see a set of chains that
+are hanging from the ceiling that appear to be
+
+affixed to some sort of red clay urn or vase that
+is dangling above.
+
+MARISHA: I relay all of that, of course.
+
+MATT: Looking across the way in the rubble,
+because you rolled a natural 20, you see a faint
+
+glimmer of something metallic that catches the
+light of the torch occasionally as Yasha moves
+
+back and forth.
+
+LIAM: You point that out as well?
+
+MARISHA: I do.
+
+LIAM: Off of her first comment I would send one of
+the globules floating up to the ceiling to better
+
+illuminate what she’s pointed out.
+
+MATT: Okay. It looks to be some sort of vase or
+urn that is dangling from chains about 30 feet up.
+
+LAURA: How big?
+
+MATT: It’s about that tall. The full container.
+It’s like a reddish clay color to it. It looks
+
+fairly well made, but nothing ornamental, per se.
+It’s dangling from a chain on each side. The light
+
+lifts around it to inspect and reveal its
+coloration.
+
+LIAM: Was that 30 feet above us? Is there any
+space between the ceiling and the container?
+
+MATT: About a foot, foot and a half. There’s not
+much distance. It’s affixed to the ceiling right there.
+
+MARISHA: And we can see it– sorry.
+
+LIAM: No, you’re good.
+
+MARISHA: We can see a closer of the dome with the
+symbols on them?
+
+MATT: There’s no dome in here.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, we’re not there yet. Sorry. We’re
+just up the spiral staircase.
+
+MATT: You’re starting to enter the chamber, and
+there is no ceiling shapes or anything that
+
+resemble the previous chamber you were in. It
+comes to a– there is a slight curve to where the–
+
+MARISHA: I’m assuming it’s through the collapsed
+tunnel. Right. Okay. Got it.
+
+LIAM: Something metallic in the rubble. Vase
+above.
+
+MATT: Correct, and the two alcoves in the sides,
+the two pillars that are load bearing in the
+
+center of the chamber.
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to throw something up at the
+vase and try to knock it over?
+
+TRAVIS: No. Let’s see what’s on the other side of
+the room first.
+
+LIAM: Just to clarify your description. The
+container is being held from above?
+
+MATT: Correct. It is dangling from the ceiling.
+
+LIAM: Chains coming down? Or no, two chains from
+the ceiling.
+
+MATT: Just two chains from the ceiling that are
+holding it in place.
+
+MARISHA: That feels like that might be a trap.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Cool. I start walking towards the other
+side of the room.
+
+MATT: Okay. Fjord, you walk through, the relief on
+the ground ahead of you. And there is that weird
+
+source of metallic reflection that Beau had
+seen from across the way.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to scoot up behind Fjord and see
+if I can detect any arcane anything before the
+
+spell sniffs out.
+
+MATT: Okay. In the final throes of the spell, the
+source of that metallic shine does give a faint,
+
+arcane, magical aura before the spell fades.
+
+LIAM: What kind was it?
+
+MATT: For that one? It would be abjuration.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m going to scoot around the side and see if
+I can peek into those holes. Those reliefs in the walls.
+
+MATT: The alcoves?
+
+SAM: Alcoves.
+
+MATT: Okay. You head over to the side alcove. Make
+an investigation check.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: 16. You glance up inside, it’s about three
+and a half feet off the ground, and you have to
+
+climb and scurry up with your small goblin body.
+Looking inside, there is another clay urn of the
+
+same red color, that’s set about a foot and a half
+inside.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to get down on the ground.
+
+SAM: I will inform the others.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go check out the other
+alcove.
+
+MATT: The other alcove also contains a similar
+clay–
+
+TALIESIN: Three red urns?
+
+LIAM: I catch Fjord by the arm. Be careful.
+Whatever is under there is something of
+
+protection. Something to keep us out, or to
+protect something.
+
+TRAVIS: The little metallic glimmer that we saw.
+Can we see?
+
+MATT: As you approach, you can see, buried in some
+of the rubble, a long brass or bronze rod of some
+
+kind. You only see about a foot of it sticking out
+from under the rubble.
+
+LAURA: Ayyyy. There’s a rod.
+
+TRAVIS: About a half inch in diameter, would you
+call it?
+
+MATT: You get a little closer and look down at it.
+It looks like it would be about a half inch in
+
+diameter, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: What was underneath the urn in the
+ceiling? On the ground?
+
+MATT: On the ground? There’s nothing directly
+below it.
+
+LAURA: Where are the faces on the ground?
+
+MATT: You walk up to the faces?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You go over and sit over it, and you can see
+a well carved, robed figure. Male on one side and
+
+female on the other, but the same features. Like
+two sides of the same coin. Similar hairstyle. No
+
+coloration to it, but a white marble relief on the
+ground. The torsos merge and extend on the two
+
+sides, and they both sort of look up with the
+emotionless face. And where the eyes are they are
+
+vacant, circular holes about that big.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh. All of them?
+
+MATT: As you get closer and look, where the holes
+are vacant, its only about maybe a quarter inch deep.
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+MATT: So they don’t go fully below, they’re like a
+quarter of an inch deep.
+
+LAURA: Should I stick something in these eyes?
+
+SAM: Maybe.
+
+ASHLEY: Is there any way to see what is in the
+urns? Like just have a peeksies.
+
+MATT: You come towards the urn. You have to pull
+it out slightly to look into it because the
+
+interior is too hard to see from this point.
+
+SAM: I’m going to get my crossbow ready to fire.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I just, with my sword, just a little.
+
+MATT: Sure. You take your sword and wedge it out.
+It shifts forward a little bit and you look
+
+inside. It looks like there is ash in the urn.
+It’s only about halfway full. Make a perception check.
+
+ASHLEY: Uh-oh. Seven.
+
+MATT: All you see is ash inside the urn.
+
+ASHLEY: I think it’s trash.
+
+TRAVIS: These are trash urns?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Why would they put trash urns in these
+weird–
+
+ASHLEY: It’s garbage.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I try and move some of the rubble off
+of the bronze rod?
+
+MATT: Sure, start shifting some of the rock. Make
+a strength check. This would be athletics to do
+
+this. Athletics, sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I think that’s a 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. You start shifting and pull the rocks
+off. The rod begins to coil. You start moving it
+
+and you pull and manage to pull it free from the
+stone. Some of the rocks falling down and
+
+stumbling to the side. You pull out a four and a
+half foot long rod that is straight towards the
+
+bottom for about a foot and then is in a tight
+coil to the very top where there is a small
+
+metallic knob at the very top. You pull it forth
+and it vibrates a little from the impact of
+
+pulling it out from under the stone, and then it
+comes to still in your hand.
+
+TRAVIS: Does it wobble?
+
+MATT: A little bit, very faintly.
+
+TRAVIS: Does it make any noise?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TRAVIS: If I swing it harder, does it?
+
+LAURA: Don’t break it.
+
+MATT: You start swinging it. It makes a (air
+whipping) sound as you swing it around.
+
+LIAM: I think I would have noticed that the circus
+bouncer looking in the urn did not get blown up,
+
+but also looked a little puzzled. So I’m going to
+go over and take a look at the same thing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a look at the other
+one.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you go to look in the other urn,
+you glance over at the urn that Yasha was turned
+
+away from, and you see this glowing fire emerge
+from the urn in her direction. Just this small,
+
+glowing orb begin to shift out of the urn right
+towards her back.
+
+SAM: Am I ready to fire?
+
+MATT: You are. You get to make an attack.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start with one of my
+blades.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’m going to shoot a crossbow bolt at
+that fire.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Oh shit. And that is a 19 against you Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Wait. Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: Okay, do your damage.
+
+SAM: Okay. Is this sneak attack or no? I don’t
+even know what this creature is.
+
+LIAM: Yasha is right next to it.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I get a saving throw?
+
+MATT: No saving throw, but you do take 13 points
+of lightning damage.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to die.
+
+SAM: I deal 16 points of damage.
+
+LAURA: Wait, do you double it because it’s a
+critical?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: The dice are doubled. Not your modifiers,
+but the dice.
+
+SAM: Wow. Okay. That’s 28 points of damage.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s better.
+
+MATT: 28 points of damage. All right.
+
+SAM: All the dice are doubled?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Good god.
+
+MATT: So you actually take no damage, because he
+was holding his reaction and as soon as it
+
+emerges, he fires. You watch as the orb
+dissipates. The faint, little motes of energy
+
+shift and vanish on the outside of the urn.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m looking at the other urn. Is
+anything happening?
+
+MATT: You watch as another one begins to slowly
+emerge and another begins to emerge from the
+
+ceiling. I need you all roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: Here we go.
+
+SAM: (shouting) No time to thank me.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+SAM: (shouting) No! No time!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, really?
+
+ASHLEY: Oh my god.
+
+LIAM: I got another one for 826LA.
+
+TALIESIN: I rolled the same initiative.
+This is the worst initiative ever.
+
+MATT: You got Yasha off to this side, going this
+way. Nott, you’re not too far from there. Molly,
+
+you were off to the opposite side to look to the
+other edge. Caleb, where were you?
+
+LIAM: I was where Yasha was. I went over to look
+at her urn.
+
+MATT: That’s right. So you were over by Yasha.
+Fjord, you were over by where you found the
+
+object. Frumpkin was– ?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin would have been just 15 feet into
+the chamber.
+
+MATT: Okay. And then Beau and Jester, where are
+you placed?
+
+MARISHA: I would be probably be in between Fjord
+and Caleb.
+
+LAURA: I was wherever those bodies where, because
+I was kneeling down and looking at them.
+
+MATT: Right. So that would be this relief right
+here, by Fjord’s. All righty. And you watch as
+
+Molly– actually Molly was making his way over
+there as this happened. And that one emerged.
+
+LAURA: It look like lightning corn on the cob.
+
+MATT: Another one shifts out of the urn that you
+just had one emerge from.
+
+SAM: It’s my own urn.
+
+MATT: That Nott has destroyed. It dissipated, then
+the small motes (fwoosh) back into the urn.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! It’s like never ending.
+
+ASHLEY: Now that I know it’s there.
+
+LAURA: It’s not a surprise, at least.
+
+ASHLEY: Not a surprise.
+
+MATT: So, going for initiative here folks. 25 to
+20?
+
+MARISHA: 22.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: Oh wow, all right. So we have Nott and Beau.
+All right, 20 to fifteen?
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. We got Fjord. All righty. 15 to ten?
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+ASHLEY: 10.
+
+MATT: Jester and Yasha. All righty. Ten to five?
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+LIAM: Rolled one, which makes me a two.
+
+MATT: Oh, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I love it.
+
+MATT: All right, the will-o’-wisps rolled a 26 for
+initiative.
+
+LAURA: These are the will-o’-wisps?
+
+ASHLEY: This is where we walked in from?
+
+MATT: Yes. That is the entrance where you walked
+in from.
+
+MARISHA: Little shits.
+
+MATT: So for their turn they vanish temporarily.
+
+MARISHA: They what?
+
+LIAM: They vanish. They’re gone. They’re fucking
+ghosts.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m trapped in that– well, never mind.
+Damn it.
+
+LAURA: Aren’t will-o’-wisps like kids? Aren’t they
+the spirits of children?
+
+MARISHA: Is that true?
+
+SAM: Is that true? Oh god, that is awful.
+
+LAURA: That’s what I learned in Quest for Glory:
+Shadows of Darkness.
+
+MATT: You would know this, but it’s different from
+story to story. It’s not necessarily the case
+
+here. So the three will-o’-wisps come back into
+visual range, and one’s going to be attacking
+
+Molly, one against Nott, and one against Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Copy.
+
+MATT: The one against Beau is going to be– that’s
+a nine.
+
+MARISHA: Nein. Miss.
+
+MATT: That’s a miss on you. It goes wide. There’s
+going to be one attacking you, Molly. That is
+
+going to be an 18 to hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that hits.
+
+MATT: That is eight points of lightning damage
+against you. Against you, Nott– that is a 22 to
+
+hit. You take 12 points of lightning damage. As
+these will-o’-wisps reach out and strike you,
+
+there’s a burst of energy as electricity,
+strangely, like undead, life-sucking energy,
+
+electricity begins to shoot through your body. You
+feel your muscles tense, your teeth and your jaw
+
+clench. And you break away and regain composure
+for a moment, but they seriously hurt you with a
+
+brief gliding by your essence. For the rest of
+their movement, this one is going to shift around
+
+this way. This one is going to go ahead and shift
+this way. This one is going to go ahead and move
+
+right there, to melee move Fjord. All right, first
+up we have Nott and Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. You want to go first, girl?
+
+SAM: Sure! I will shoot towards (cocking sound).
+Is the one near Molly engaged with Molly?
+
+MATT: It is, yes.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will shoot at the one next to Molly.
+Not good, 12.
+
+MATT: 12? Does not hit, unfortunately. You fire
+towards and it (swooshing sound) just dodges out
+
+of the way, completely avoids the bolt, as it
+ricochets off the stonework in the distance.
+
+SAM: (cocking sound) Fire again, bonus action! Not
+much better. 15.
+
+MATT: 15. It manages to arc out of the way of the
+other one. Both bolts go wide from where its
+
+position is, striking the stone. No effect.
+
+LAURA: 15 didn’t hit them.
+
+MARISHA: 15 didn’t? Did you try to shoot it?
+
+SAM: Twice.
+
+MATT: Nott, are you going to move or stay there
+for your turn?
+
+SAM: No, I’m engaged, right?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: I’m going to say, (shouting) Help me!
+I’m going to die, I’m going to die!
+
+MATT: Beau, while this is happening, what are you
+doing?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, seeing Nott have a hard time, I’m
+going to pull out that holy water and I’m going
+
+to, like a confetti popper, I want to, right over
+its face, just break it.
+
+MATT: The one right in front of you?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: All righty, go ahead and roll an attack with
+that.
+
+MARISHA: Just straight attack?
+
+MATT: It should be with your dexterity.
+
+MARISHA: With my dex, to throw it even though I’m
+not throwing it?
+
+SAM: What are you throwing?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not throwing–the holy water. I’m
+trying to break it with my hand and palm in its face.
+
+MATT: You’re not proficient with it, but it’s
+still your dex to hit with it.
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+MATT: A 12? Okay, that– pulling out a book here,
+thank you for your patience, (singing) holy water.
+
+MARISHA: Is it a dex saving throw?
+
+MATT: That’s a ranged attack against the target
+creature. Yeah, no. You try to smash it, but it
+
+ducks out of the way. Because you’re smashing it,
+it doesn’t hit the ground and shatter, so you
+
+still have it your hand. But you swing with it to
+try to break it over this entity, and it dodges
+
+out of the way. They are very quick.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Do I still get my bonus attack?
+
+MATT: Because it was a ranged attack, sure. It’s
+stretching it a little bit, but I will let it happen.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 19. 25.
+
+MATT: 25 does hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Eight damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage for that one. Nice.
+
+MARISHA: Do I punch a ghost?
+
+MATT: You do hit it, but it doesn’t take as much
+damage as you would expect. As you swing toward
+
+it, it gives resistance to your fist, and numbs it
+as you punch through it. It does react to the
+
+impact, but it’s not quite as impactful as you
+hoped a swing that strong should have been.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: You punched cotton candy.
+
+MATT: You did, kind of– stinging cotton candy.
+
+MARISHA: A little cold.
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yep.
+
+MATT: All righty. Finishing Beau and Nott’s go–
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I got a question. You said ten minutes on
+the boat as we were moving forward, ten minutes
+
+for him to cast detect magic, and another ten
+minutes for detect magic to run out, so it’s been
+
+about a half an hour?
+
+MATT: I’d say with searching around everything,
+it’s been closer to 45 minutes.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great. So my Armor of Agathys is
+still up?
+
+MATT: Your armor is still up.
+
+TRAVIS: So can I bonus-action Hex the glob– the
+wispy thing right next to me?
+
+MATT: Sure. There we go.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+MATT: You’ve hexed it.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. Can I take swipe at it with
+the Wastehunter Blade?
+
+SAM: Wastehunter!
+
+TRAVIS: Wastehunter. That is 15 to hit.
+
+MATT: 15 to hit. You Hex it and as you swing your
+blade, (swooshing sound) it shimmies out of the
+
+way. Its light moves with sudden, rapid haste as
+soon as you try to strike towards it and dodges
+
+the blow entirely.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow! Can I use all of my 30 foot walking
+speed to run towards the door there where we came
+
+out of.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten, 15, 20, 25, 30. The one that
+was near you is going to go ahead and make an
+
+opportunity strike against you.
+
+MARISHA: Does that mean I get to make an
+opportunity strike against it?
+
+MATT: It made an attack that doesn’t include you,
+so yeah, technically.
+
+SAM: Wow!
+
+TRAVIS: That is the plan here.
+
+MATT: All right, so that is an 18 to hit you.
+
+TRAVIS: It hits.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: And it take ten points of cold damage.
+
+MATT: And you take ten points of lightning
+damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Beautiful.
+
+MARISHA: That’s okay, that’s okay.
+
+MATT: Cold damage, all right. So it takes– the
+cold does not seem to impact it as heavily as you
+
+would assume. It does hurt it, but it seems to be
+resistant from a lot of the forms of attacks that
+
+you are throwing in its direction.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Another eight points.
+
+MATT: Another fist punch towards the will-o’-wisp
+impacts, but doesn’t seem to strike as strong as
+
+you hoped, but it’s still taking damage as it runs
+past. It shocks out at Fjord as Fjord runs by.
+
+Using your Sentinel feat to get your reaction hit
+off.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got that gold rod, by the way. I’m
+getting the fuck out of here.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, go.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. As a bonus action, I’m going to cast
+Sanctuary on Nott.
+
+SAM: Oh, I feel so safe.
+
+MATT: That’s concentration or not?
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t say concentration.
+
+MATT: Okay, I’ll pull it up.
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t have that on the–
+
+MATT: Sanctuary is not concentration.
+
+LAURA: They have to make a wisdom save if they
+attack her. Then as an action, I’m going to use my
+
+cantrip of Sacred Flame.
+
+MATT: Against which one?
+
+LAURA: The one next to Molly.
+
+MATT: Next to Molly. That’s a wisdom save?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s a dex save.
+
+MATT: That is a 23.
+
+LAURA: It definitely saves.
+
+MATT: It ducks out of the way before the Sacred
+Flame bursts into the air, hitting nothing. You
+
+get the sense through all these attacks that these
+things are very quick. That end your turn, Jester?
+
+That brings us to Yasha.
+
+SAM: Come on, Yasha! Hurt them with your
+strength!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to get a little closer to the
+one that’s near Nott.
+
+MATT: With your greatsword–
+
+ASHLEY: Pulled out, so I would like to rage. You
+can use reckless while you’re raging?
+
+MATT: Reckless attacks? Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Which means you roll with advantage, but
+they get advantage on you.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, that’s fine.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell
+me!
+
+ASHLEY: I want to get this all figured out so we
+won’t always have question time. Can I also use
+
+Divine Fury?
+
+MATT: Divine Fury? Yeah, that’s part of your
+thing, so all that happens at the same time. Your
+
+first attack every round.
+
+ASHLEY: So I roll twice?
+
+MATT: You roll twice, take the higher of the two.
+
+TALIESIN: Wow!
+
+LIAM: Go for that natural 20!
+
+ASHLEY: 25?
+
+MATT: 25 definitely hits. You do the damage from
+your sword.
+
+ASHLEY: Ah! What do I–
+
+MATT: The greatsword is 2d6 plus your strength
+modifier, which is three? Plus your rage modifier,
+
+which is two? That’s plus five to whatever you
+roll, plus your Divine Fury damage.
+
+LIAM: Fucking muscle wizards.
+
+ASHLEY: Plus what? Say again?
+
+MATT: Whatever you roll, plus five. Ten, plus your
+Divine Fury.
+
+ASHLEY: Which is another d6, plus half–
+
+SAM: Just pull out another d6.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to. (counting) 18.
+
+MATT: Well, how much radiant damage is that?
+
+TRAVIS: Plus half your barbarian level?
+
+LAURA: She rolled six.
+
+ASHLEY: The damage that I chose was necrotic. Six
+plus half my barbarian level, which would be two,
+
+so 18 damage.
+
+MATT: You rush forward, rage, giant swing down
+with your blade. You watch this burst of dark
+
+necrotic energy come crackling out of the blow. It
+hits, and you watch as it flickers for a second,
+
+and pulls itself back together. It’s wounded, but
+it seems to be shrugging off some of the impact
+
+barely. You want to stay where you are?
+
+ASHLEY: Bonus attack? Not bonus, but do I have a
+bonus? Can I do Healing Hands on Nott?
+
+MATT: You bonus raged, unfortunately.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, that’s your bonus. Copy that. Got it.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep, that’s my turn. Wait– yes, I’m going
+to stay there.
+
+TALIESIN: I know what these things are.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I understand what’s happening, with
+why they’re going back to the pots, to whatever’s
+
+in the pots?
+
+MATT: You’re not entirely certain, but you do
+notice, glancing about, that they seem to be
+
+emerging from them.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m actively tracking these at this
+point, I would imagine, so I can’t be surprised anymore.
+
+MATT: Right.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Can I scoot around the– I
+assume the clay pot is on the other side of that
+
+will-o’-wisp right now?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to scoot around to that side.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take my first shot at the
+will-o’-wisp as I’m dancing around it.
+
+MATT: All righty. You swing wide with your first.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, let’s see if this hits. 17?
+
+MATT: 17 does not hit.
+
+TALIESIN: My god, really?!
+
+MATT: You swing your blade and it ducks out of the
+way. These are quick little fuckers!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take my bonus action, and
+I’m going to break the pot.
+
+MATT: Okay. Swing.
+
+SAM: Taliesin hates pot!
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, I do. 11 points.
+
+MATT: 11 is enough. It’s a stationary object. So
+roll damage on it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, that’s eight points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. You bring the blade
+in and strike into the alcove, and as you yank it
+
+out with the blade, you cut it halfway through the
+air. The actual urn bisects, sending ash clouding
+
+into the air around you, and you watch as the
+will-o’-wisp (pfft).
+
+SAM: Oh! Why don’t we do that with all of them?
+
+MARISHA: Nice! That’s what we do!
+
+TRAVIS: Nice, dude, nice.
+
+MATT: The urn clatters to the ground. The top of
+it breaks, the second half hits with a heavy thud
+
+sound that’s different from the sound of the clay
+that shatters on the ground. That finishes your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Other than that I’m going to take a look
+at it down below, to see if there’s anything in
+
+there that’s weird.
+
+MATT: I’ll say you have to wait until next round. You
+reach around and finish that whirling dervish action.
+
+LAURA: I should have thrown something at the
+vase!
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Caleb does what that bearded dude in the GIF
+does, going– seeing that happen, and I cast
+
+Scorching Ray myself, and I will send one ball of
+fire at the next pot.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: The one on the roof?
+
+LIAM: No, the other one besides that.
+
+MATT: The one in this alcove there that’s right
+across the way?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is– oh, jeez. Everything changed
+for me. So that is perception plus– not
+
+perception. Intelligence modifier, which is five
+plus seven. So that is an 18 to hit.
+
+MATT: 18 hits, yeah. Roll damage on that one.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that’s 2d6 for a damage of seven.
+
+MATT: Seven. That urn explodes on the inside of
+the alcove as the streaking, hot Scorching Ray
+
+slams into the clay, causing the top half of it to
+detonate. The bottom half of the clay cracks, and
+
+the bottom still remains in place, the ash
+clouding out of it. The one–
+
+LIAM: So that did not get destroyed, then, it got
+damaged?
+
+MATT: This will-o’-wisp flickers out. It had been
+heavily damaged already, and that amount of
+
+scattering of the ash caused it to flicker and
+disintegrate. The bottom of the urn is still
+
+holding itself in place, the top half scattered
+and broken.
+
+LIAM: That was just one, so I continue to wrap my
+hand around, and a second one shoots out at the
+
+one in the ceiling. That is a natural 18.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage on that one.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is an eight.
+
+MATT: Eight? It shatters and breaks. The ash comes
+clouding down like the slight drizzle of soft dust
+
+and ash. This will-o’-wisp vanishes into the
+space.
+
+TRAVIS: Ugh, it’s in my eyebrows!
+
+LIAM: The other one shoots up in the air and lands
+two feet behind me, just goes (explosion).
+
+SAM: Whoa, so cool!
+
+MATT: As you’re three-point landing there,
+Caleb–
+
+LIAM: No, I’m standing!
+
+MATT: Standing, but hurling a– (laughter) As you
+stand there, the explosion behind from the
+
+Scorching Ray, as the bottom half of the urn from
+the ceiling– (tinging, rolling)
+
+LIAM: Oh shit, that’s hot!
+
+SAM: That was amazing!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pick up the bottom half of
+that, and I’m going to examine, immediately, what
+
+I’ve got.
+
+MATT: All right. And we’ll come back to that after
+our break because it’s just after nine o'clock. So
+
+we’ll take a quick break here and be back here in
+just a moment, guys. Hold tight. In the meantime,
+
+we do have another Wyrmwood giveaway. We have a
+black poisonwood Hero Vault that we’re giving out
+
+this time. Nice dark wood one. You can keep your
+minis, you can keep your dice, you can keep all
+
+sorts of things inside the small space here. If
+all of you want to come over into Twitch chat to
+
+enter this, you can only enter the word once. More
+than once and you will be disqualified. Once
+
+again, this is only for US residents and Canadian
+residents, outside of Quebec. The code word for
+
+tonight is “river.” So come on over, enter that
+into the chat, and we’ll come back with a winner
+
+at the break! We’ll see you guys in a minute.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello, and welcome back everybody! Glad we
+can join… us. Before we get back into the story,
+
+we have a winner. The winner for tonight’s
+giveaway is TheMostJost!
+
+TRAVIS: TheMostJost!
+
+MATT: You are the most jostiest Jost, and as such,
+being the most jostest, TheMostJost, you win.
+
+Congratulations, we’re going to get that black
+poisonwood Hero’s Vault to you, so congrats.
+
+The brief burst of adrenaline has begun to fade from
+your bodies, your muscles tense, slowly beginning
+
+to relax. The urn shattered, the chamber now still
+and quiet. No seeming flickering flame of undead
+
+energy or source in the vicinity. What do you want
+to do?
+
+LAURA: Those guys were so stupid. They could have
+broken the vases. How dumb are they?
+
+MARISHA: I know. I don’t feel so bad for making
+fun of them now. I feel like maybe we were hard on
+
+them, but now I don’t think we were.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I don’t think so either. They’re
+fucking ceramic pottery pieces.
+
+SAM: I’m desperately injured.
+
+LAURA: You want me to try to heal you?
+
+SAM: No. Again, I don’t want to impose.
+
+LAURA: I’ll try to heal you.
+
+SAM: If you’re offering, I’ll take it, but I am
+definitely bleeding from my eyes.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast, at a 2nd-level, Cure
+Wounds, because Nott seems like she’s dying.
+
+LIAM: Don’t strain a hammy.
+
+LAURA: Goddamn it! Really?
+
+MATT: Is that a one?
+
+LAURA: One and a two.
+
+MATT and SAM: Aw.
+
+LAURA: I could’ve cast it at 1st-level! Damn it!
+You still only got fucking seven points of fucking healing!
+
+SAM: I feel guilty for having needs!
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, Yasha, maybe?
+
+SAM: Oh wait, I could’ve just–
+we could have rested and I could’ve used hit dice.
+
+LAURA: Goddamn it!
+
+TRAVIS: We should rest right now.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I dig through one of the ashes? The
+urn?
+
+LAURA: I just wasted one of my 2nd-levels y'all!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, we can keep going.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re still resting.
+
+ASHLEY: Still garbage?
+
+MATT: You and Molly are doing this, if I recall,
+before we entered the break. The base of each urn,
+
+the lower half of it, is actually a metal-lined
+bottom. Looking on the inside, as you scoop out
+
+the ash, (blowing) get it to empty the space, you
+can see, very faintly on the inside of the metal,
+
+very faint carvings matching the symbols you have
+seen in the previous room.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit!
+
+LAURA: Which room? Let’s take the piece of metal
+down! Wait, does each of the urns have a different one?
+
+MATT: Each of the urns has all eight symbols in
+it.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+LIAM: At this point, we should be able to see the
+things that the very perceptive people saw, which
+
+was two faces, eyes with holes in them in the
+middle–
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: In this room?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Should we do it in this room?
+
+TRAVIS: Are the eye holes about the size of gold
+coins?
+
+MATT: Roughly.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take two gold coins and put them in
+both of the eyes on one of the faces.
+
+MATT: On the faces? Okay. You take two gold coins
+out, and you place them roughly, and they both fit
+
+into the eyes of one face.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll do that to the other two eyes in the
+other face.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you place them, as soon as they
+occur in there, the relief opens in half and you
+
+fall. Make a dexterity saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: Whoopsies.
+
+TRAVIS: Was not anticipating that.
+
+MARISHA: For the boatman.
+
+TRAVIS: He always gets his due.
+
+LIAM: Mama, put the coins in my eyes because I
+sure do not believe what I am seeing.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s an eight.
+
+MATT: That’s an eight!
+
+SAM: As he falls, I throw a piece of feather and I
+cast Feather Fall on him.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, that’s awesome!
+
+MATT: That’s a reaction. What’s the range on
+that?
+
+SAM: 60 feet.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re fine. Fjord suddenly begins to
+disappear, the floor going out underneath. This
+
+looks of fear comes over his eyes as Nott barely
+releases the spell in time, and Fjord goes from
+
+plummeting to gently falling. You glide down, and
+you look down below you into the darkness. You
+
+descend ten, 15, 20–
+
+MARISHA: Beau hollers out: Hey, I think you
+figured out that puzzle!
+
+TALIESIN: We should probably put a light in
+there.
+
+LIAM: Caleb doesn’t say anything or move at all,
+but he’s thoroughly impressed with Nott, by the way.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Me too.
+
+MATT: About 30 feet down, you see something
+rapidly coming up below you. Looks like a floor or
+
+a surface, though it is somewhat amorphous and
+jumbled that it looks hard to see any sort of
+
+shape to it.
+
+TRAVIS: Are things moving?
+
+LIAM: I will send two of my globules down after
+him.
+
+MATT: Okay. With your low light vision, looking
+down below, eventually your feet land. It’s soft
+
+and crunchy as your feet land. You glance down and
+the smell gets you immediately. It’s a heavy smell
+
+of decay, of dust, and ash. You look down below
+and your are sunken into a pile of long-rotting
+
+clothing. Occasionally, your foot hits something
+that cracks, and you can see some charred bones
+
+that remain within.
+
+LAURA: Charred?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: This is how they clean the room.
+
+LIAM: How far down is that? Does everybody see?
+
+MATT: It’s about 30-35 feet down.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to take a rope out of my bag and
+wrap it around a pillar.
+
+MATT: Okay. You take it and tie it off to the
+side.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, do you see anything cool down
+there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. There’s a bunch of old clothes. It
+smells awful down here.
+
+LAURA: Does anybody have weapons or coins on
+them?
+
+TRAVIS: I haven’t really looked. I still got this
+damn bronze rod with me, too, so I got to find my
+
+way out of here.
+
+LAURA: We’ll get you out. Just look for something
+cool, though.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I throw the torch down there?
+
+MATT: Yeah. As you–
+
+ASHLEY: Fjord.
+
+MATT: You hear your name and you look up just as
+the torch–
+
+TRAVIS: Okay!
+
+MATT: You reach up and try and grab it. Catch it,
+(fumbling).
+
+MARISHA: Let it fall!
+
+TRAVIS: Falls in the clothes, I start burning
+alive.
+
+SAM: A rope?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: We already have a rope down.
+
+ASHLEY: I put a rope down.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I look around, see if there are any
+weapons or objects?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is travelling down the rope that Yasha
+dropped.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. That’s great. Natural 19. That’s a
+21.
+
+MATT: 21?! You guys hear the sound of shifting and
+clattering of material and bone-like objects
+
+against each other and the stone side of the
+chamber. You, Fjord, begin to pour through. You’re
+
+tugging through the clothing that’s here has been
+slowly rotting over time, the material coming
+
+apart. As you pull it apart, you see the tunics
+and the pantaloons, and all the different pieces
+
+of clothing that are in here pull apart almost as
+your fingers go into it. There’s no remaining
+
+flesh. The decay smell is not fresh decay. It’s
+old, stagnant, long past sealed decay. As you pull
+
+through, you do find some pieces of silver and
+gold jewelry. They’re tucked in pockets of some of
+
+this clothing. You can see one skeletal wrist that
+has this really nice-looking bracelet with a chain
+
+that goes around the center finger but the bone is
+snapped off, and the bone itself is still charred
+
+black around most sides. Only a little bit of
+grayish white peeks through in places as you rub
+
+your finger over it. There are some pieces of
+jewelry here that’s probably worth a little bit of
+
+money. Because you rolled that high, you also pull
+through, in one of the pockets, you can see a
+
+small leather case about that wide, with the lid
+that’s burnt. As you pull it, it tears off
+
+entirely. Looking inside, there’s a very thin,
+diamond shaped vial. You pull it out and shake it.
+
+It has a stopper on it that looks either a rubber
+or a coated cork that is buttoned on one side that
+
+is built into the actual crystal container’s cap.
+You watch it, swish around, holding the torch up
+
+to it, it has a brackish dark brown/black tint to
+it like thick sludge pond water.
+
+LIAM: I would’ve gotten down the rope at this
+point, and seeing Fjord examine that, I cast
+
+Detect Magic instantly.
+
+MATT: Okay. It is definitely magical.
+
+LIAM: Okay. What kind?
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: What kind?
+
+LIAM: I’m allowed to know. It’s in the book.
+
+LAURA: You can ask nicely.
+
+MATT: I would say abjuration.
+
+LIAM: What’s in the fucking potion, Matt?
+
+MATT: You have to identify it to find out.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I’ll take some of the nice jewelry
+and stuff like that and the little vial. Are there
+
+any other doors or entrances or shoots?
+
+MATT: No. It ends here. There is a pit and you
+finally reached the bottom after pulling through.
+
+You’ve probably gone through about 40 or so
+equivalent outfits.
+
+LIAM: Does Detect Magic uncover anything else
+besides what he’s already looking through?
+
+MATT: No. Just the vial that he discovered.
+
+LAURA: Everybody else was resting up top while–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, short rest.
+
+MAISHA: Ooh, can we do that?
+
+MATT: If you guys want to take a short rest, about
+an hour or so to take a moment and take a
+
+breather. Use your hit dice.
+
+LIAM: Oh, an hour.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay because I don’t get my spells
+back with rests, so that’s really good that I used
+
+it and everything.
+
+SAM: I appreciate it.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, hold that up for me so I can tell you
+what it is. I will spend the next 10 minutes, with
+
+Fjord sitting in front of me and me looking at it
+and doing the ritual.
+
+MATT: Well, you guys haven’t taken a short rest
+yet. They’re taking a short rest. You can go
+
+upstairs if you want to.
+
+LIAM: You want to rest first or do you want me to
+tell you what it is now?
+
+TRAVIS: You can tell me what it is now.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so 10 minutes that takes. Identify.
+
+MATT: All right, that is a potion of necrotic
+resistance.
+
+LIAM: Well, I don’t have it. You have it.
+
+TRAVIS: “When you drink this potion, you gain
+resistance to necrotic damage for one hour.” Nice.
+
+Cool.
+
+MARISHA: Whenever we get done with the short rest,
+can Beau start peeking through and digging away at
+
+the collapsed entrance into that tunnel?
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an athletics check.
+
+SAM: I sewed my thumb back on.
+
+MATT: Okay. Ten minutes pass. You guys climb back
+up out of the pit?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys head up and join. The rest of
+them are going to be resting for the next 45 or so
+
+minutes. You can join them if you want them to
+wait for you as well.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to, yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys complete a short rest as
+well. Go for it.
+
+LIAM: Arcane recovery.
+
+MATT: While you guys are finishing that up, Beau
+is rummaging through the rubble.
+
+MARISHA: It wasn’t good. Six. Slow going.
+
+MATT: You spend about 30 minutes or so, and you
+maybe get about two feet into the rubble, and
+
+you’re not sure how far back it goes. A lot of the
+stones now you’re getting to are now too big for
+
+you to move.
+
+MARISHA: Was there a little crawl space at the top
+that we could crawl through?
+
+MATT: No. The ceiling caved in on that side.
+
+MARISHA: Well. It’s just me and I rolled shitty.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys have all taken your time
+to short rest–
+
+SAM: We’ve also discovered that Ashley has more
+dice than Laura, apparently.
+
+ASHLEY: No, I don’t!
+
+SAM: What is this? What is this gigantic box of
+dice?
+
+ASHLEY: Listen, she has a whole duffel bag.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but she doesn’t use those. These are
+all active for tonight!
+
+ASHLEY: Listen! I like to have all my options.
+
+MATT: Exactly.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: This is terrible.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not all my fault.
+
+TALIESIN: I believe in you. This is fine.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: She needs better organization.
+
+ASHLEY: I need better organization.
+
+LAURA: You got to divide them out.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we make our way back downstairs to
+see what this rod does in the little hole?
+
+SAM: I thought we were supposed to turn the
+ceiling from up here, no?
+
+TALIESIN: How big are the bevels, that have
+the relief of the 12–?
+
+MATT: They’re about that big in the bottom,
+and about a heavy bowl size.
+
+LAURA: I think the corkscrew’s going to stick in
+the hole and move the whole room or something.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, the eyes were for uncovering all that
+death underneath our feet.
+
+MARISHA: The ceiling is through here and it’s
+blocked by a bunch of rubble. We can try and dig
+
+through it if we think something should be up
+there.
+
+SAM: No, we should use the stairs.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: So what are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re going to go back downstairs.
+
+LAURA: We can try to move some of the rubble?
+
+MARISHA: I’ve been, like small boulders. I’ve been
+(struggling).
+
+MATT: So you’re taking the rod, and you guys are
+heading downstairs?
+
+TALIESIN: And the bowls.
+
+MATT: Using the bowls as well. Okay. You have the
+three urn vases.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm–hmm. Clean them off a bit.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, you can, of course, stick that thing
+in the hole in that bottom room if you want, but
+
+if you like, my man Schmidt could do it, with
+little risk to the rest of us. If you like.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah. Give him a shot.
+
+LIAM: We should all stand back. Better safe than
+sorry.
+
+LAURA: Do we know which way we’re turning
+everything now?
+
+TRAVIS, TALIESIN, and LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, everybody knows it already.
+
+SAM: I don’t know. It seems like they know, they
+decided without us.
+
+LAURA: But why did you decide the way that you’re
+saying it?
+
+LIAM: Well look here, now that we’re back peering
+through the doorway at this. We have this star on
+
+that corner, and if you would rotate– we don’t
+know what we’re rotating is the thing.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re hoping that we’ll get it to turn.
+
+MARISHA: If the thing goes two clicks– correct,
+it goes there.
+
+LIAM: We’re saying that’s the idea because there’s
+a diamond to a diamond, and a star to a star, and
+
+a triangle of dots to that triangle.
+
+LAURA: Yeah I like the way you guys think, that
+sounds smart.
+
+SAM: So smart.
+
+LIAM: Well I bumped up to 20.
+
+LAURA: So that’s evocation you guys, and
+divination, and necromancy.
+
+LIAM: Edubation. It’s critical.
+
+MARISHA: So wait, divination, evocation,
+necromancy.
+
+SAM: That’s dead things, good things, and
+in-between things?
+
+MARISHA: And elemental things, right? Isn’t
+evocation–
+
+LIAM: Evocation is destruction.
+
+MARISHA: Fire, lightning, elemental things.
+
+MATT: You guys descend the staircase, find your
+way to the base floor. You head to the hallway
+
+where you had previously disabled the traps and
+carefully step across each threshold without
+
+issue, they still remain disabled.
+
+SAM: I did that.
+
+MATT: You make your way into the central octagonal
+chamber. What would you like to do?
+
+LIAM: I’m casting, in an instant, Unseen Servant.
+Schmidt is here with us.
+
+MATT: Schmidt appears, unseen.
+
+LIAM: Fjord, hold out your magic whatsit there. I
+command Fjord to give that to Schmidt, Schmidt
+
+takes it.
+
+TRAVIS: I refuse your command and I give it to
+Schmidt willingly.
+
+LIAM: The spell runs out–
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I ask Schmidt to insert the spirally staff
+into the Laura Bailey hole in the center of the dais.
+
+MATT: You watch as the rod gingerly drifts over to
+the center place, slips in, locks into place.
+
+MARISHA: Something bad might happen once we turn
+this, so be on guard.
+
+LIAM: It is true, that’s why we’re hanging back
+behind the door. Do we think we should go
+
+clockwise or counter-clockwise?
+
+TRAVIS: Counter-clockwise.
+
+LIAM: Schmidt, please revolve that staff
+counter-clockwise please.
+
+MATT: Nothing moves.
+
+LIAM: Well, try it clockwise then, Schmidt.
+
+MATT: Nothing moves.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s a lot of bollocks then.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it’s got to be a real person. Maybe
+you have to cast a spell that has to do with the
+
+class of magic!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got an idea. I’m going to start
+rocking upstairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Rocking upstairs?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m walking upstairs.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to join Molly, I think someone
+needs to be upstairs. You guys stay.
+
+MATT: Molly, you have the bowls right?
+
+TALIESIN: I have the bowls.
+
+MATT: Beau and Molly head back up the stairs.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a look at that
+purple– is there only one of those little purple
+
+glowing rocks that seems to be creating light?
+
+MATT: As you look going through, you see there are
+a few other stone cages that have been opened and
+
+left empty. That is one that has not been
+removed.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to open it and I will– I’m
+going to poke at it to see if it seems trapped or anything.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+16.
+
+MATT: Does not appear to be trapped.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to open it and grab the stone
+out.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check to try and wedge it
+from the stone it’s attached to.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a six.
+
+MATT: (grunting) It’s not budging. Your lithe
+tiefling form is not quite sturdy enough to pull
+
+it from the stone.
+
+LIAM: Dance it out of there.
+
+TALIESIN: Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you punch this?
+
+MARISHA: I got you one better. I’ll shove in my
+staff and push against the pillar and use it as
+
+leverage, see if I can pry it open.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yeah, I’ll give you that. Make a
+dexterity check. Finding the proper point of
+
+leverage to push on.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, natural 18. 22.
+
+MATT: The metal actually unhinges and the stone
+plummets out, you catch it.
+
+MARISHA: You see this is like a simple– sorry,
+it’s like a simple tool. Sorry, I drooled a little.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that your new nickname?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TALIESIN: Simple tool.
+
+MARISHA: You know what? That’s fair, I’ll take
+that. That was a good one.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, you did do this. I won’t tell
+anyone, come on.
+
+MARISHA: It was a good jab.
+
+TALIESIN: We walk back down with it. Beau
+retrieved this, maybe? We’ve got a glowing rock.
+
+I’m going to put it in the room, see if anything
+happens.
+
+MATT: No reaction.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got these bowls, I’m going to put
+the bowls, gingerly, I’m going to put one of the
+
+bowls on one of the symbols to see what happens.
+
+MATT: Okay, which symbol?
+
+TALIESIN: Put it– middle of the star.
+
+MATT: Okay. Place it in the middle of the star.
+The metal bowl sits there, the fine engravings of
+
+all the symbols on the inside of each bowl don’t
+seem to react.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and move the bowl to
+match the engravings in the ceiling.
+
+MATT: Okay, you have three bowls, and each bowl
+contains all eight symbols in the inside, so it’s
+
+hard to match them per se.
+
+LAURA: Cast a spell on one of the bowls!
+
+SAM: Why don’t we try a person to use the rod
+first before we start wasting spells?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah okay, I’ll walk up and I’ll grab the
+rod.
+
+SAM: You’re weak, shouldn’t we use a strong
+person?
+
+MATT: The rod doesn’t shift.
+
+TRAVIS: It doesn’t move.
+
+MATT: You move it the other way and it comes out,
+you have to put it back in and lock it into place,
+
+but it doesn’t seem to shift or move.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the the top of the rod again? The
+top of that little spiral.
+
+MATT: It’s a small little metallic knob at the
+end.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to examine it, anything
+interesting about it? Just a small metallic knob?
+
+MATT: Best you can look at it, it doesn’t have any
+markings on it or anything unique, it’s just a
+
+solid round knob end.
+
+TALIESIN: Like a lightning rod?
+
+MATT: Something like that.
+
+SAM: Yasha, you’re strong. Why don’t you go try
+and twist the thing?
+
+ASHLEY: All right, I’ll give it a try.
+
+MATT: You spend a good two minutes shifting on the
+rod the opposite direction where it locks. No movement.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we think we need to cast unique spells
+into those bowls for each of the three schools of
+
+magic? Which is what Jester said.
+
+MARISHA: We heard you.
+
+LAURA: (angrily) No, it’s fine!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m trying to figure out, how do you cast
+necrotic damage on a bowl?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, I could Inflict Wounds on it
+or something, or Toll the Dead on the bowl.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to Inflict Wounds on one of
+them?
+
+LAURA: Well no, I’m going to use a cantrip because
+it’s better. So I’m going to Toll the Dead on–
+
+SAM: What is it? Evocation?
+
+LAURA: Necrotic, divination, and evocation. So
+I’ll try to Toll the Dead on one of the bowls, the
+
+one that is sitting on the diamond.
+
+MATT: You cast Toll the Dead. The dark arcane
+energy from Toll the Dead begins to gather around
+
+the hand of Jester, and as you release the spell
+you watch this burst of necrotic energy siphon
+
+back and immediately attach itself to the very top
+of this metallic rod.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: It’s absorbed and there’s a moment of pause
+before you feel (banging sound).
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s do the other two.
+
+LAURA: Wait, is it turning?
+
+MATT: You hear a shifting of stone– this faint
+slithering sound begins to fill the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Other two! Or maybe not.
+
+MATT: The slithering stops. (booming) You watch as
+your eyes catch something shift above you. That
+
+large square pillar that was locked in the
+ceiling, that dome underneath it opened up and a
+
+strange, translucent, cube-like creature comes
+descending from the center. I need you guys all to
+
+roll initiative.
+
+(yelling)
+
+LIAM: Not a gelatinous cube!
+
+TRAVIS: Did we pick the form of our killer?
+
+LIAM: A gelatinous cube!
+
+MARISHA: Wait, but you did necromantic, right?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: Wait, if we had picked a different magic
+would a different monster–
+
+TRAVIS: I think so.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe it’s a trial, maybe we have to
+fight all of them!
+
+LIAM: We might need to do all three at the same
+time?
+
+MATT: (impact)
+
+(screaming)
+
+LIAM: Guys, fucking focus!
+
+Focus!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to use my boots at this point.
+
+LAURA: See, this is why I shouldn’t have used my
+spell!
+
+LIAM: No more dick jokes! Focus on the cube.
+
+LAURA: That wasn’t a dick joke!
+
+SAM: Everything’s a dick joke with you, Laura.
+
+MATT: All right, guys. So let me pull out the
+gelatinous cube stat block here.
+
+LIAM: This is dangerous!
+
+MATT: That is a super low initiative. That is a
+zero initiative for the gelatinous cube. Four
+
+minus four. Initiative, 25 to 20.
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+LIAM: 21!
+
+MATT: Nice! Caleb coming around, finally. Then
+Jester. 20 to 15.
+
+TALIESIN: Crickets.
+
+MARISHA: 20 to 15?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Negative, no.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA and ASHLEY: 12.
+
+MARISHA: Sentinel bitches!
+
+MATT: Beau and Yasha. Ten to five?
+
+TRAVIS: Seven.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, how do you fight a gelatinous
+cube?
+
+LIAM: You die.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to!
+
+MARISHA: They suck you up.
+
+LAURA: I know!
+
+MARISHA: It’s bad.
+
+LAURA: But I don’t know how to defeat them!
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know!
+
+MATT: As it slid into the ground, it completely
+consumed the rod and immediately begins to move
+
+its way forward ever so slowly in your direction
+of the cluster group. That being the case, top of
+
+the round we have Caleb, you’re first. By the way,
+where do you want your kitty?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin, or–?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin can be, oh jeez, right behind me is
+fine.
+
+MATT: There you go. What are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to use all my movement to move
+back towards the doorway as best I can.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+LIAM: Ja. As I am doing so, I am pulling a small
+clay cat paw out of my hand. I mutter a few arcane
+
+words and I cast Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp. A wad
+of soil forms out the ground and a cat’s paw rises
+
+up and reaches out and swats at the gelatinous
+cube.
+
+MATT: All right, so it makes a strength saving
+throw.
+
+LIAM: Ja, that’s correct, against my DC of 15.
+
+MATT: Natural one.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Number five tonight?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LIAM: On a failed save the target takes 2d6
+bludgeoning damage, so that is a seven and it’s
+
+restrained for the spell’s duration. So it attacks
+at disadvantage and you attack at advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+MARISHA: We attack at advantage? For how long?
+
+LIAM: There is a giant, earthen cat’s claw holding
+it on the corner.
+
+TRAVIS: Zero speed, or slow speed?
+
+SAM: It can be restrained, that thing?
+
+LAURA: Can it? By magic, maybe.
+
+MATT: Yeah, magic holds it in place.
+
+TRAVIS: So it’s zero speed, it doesn’t go
+anywhere?
+
+LIAM: Restrained, it’s the restrained condition.
+
+MATT: Correct, yep, for the spell’s duration.
+
+LAURA: How long does the spell last?
+
+MATT: One minute.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Is it concentration?
+
+LIAM: Yes, it is.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t break that concentration!
+
+MATT: This giant cat paw has grasped around and is
+holding the cube in place, its claws dug into it,
+
+made of earth and dirt and stone.
+
+LIAM: I have a question, is there any light in
+here at all?
+
+MATT: Aside from the torch that Yasha has, no.
+
+LIAM: Okay so there’s dim light then, from the
+torch.
+
+MATT: There is, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Because my globules are gone.
+
+MATT: Yes, they are very gone. Well, the torch has
+been your main light source since you–
+
+LIAM: That’s correct, thank you. Okay. And then I
+sit.
+
+SAM: You’re going to sit on the floor?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You want Frumpkin to move anywhere?
+
+LIAM: Say again?
+
+MATT: Frumpkin’s still back here.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin can do whatever. Frumpkin will run
+towards Jester and get between– where’s Nott?
+
+MATT: Nott is over there.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin will stand between Jester and the
+cube.
+
+MATT: All righty, that ends Caleb’s turn. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Is this considered a monstrosity?
+
+MATT: No, it is not. It is considered an ooze.
+
+TRAVIS: An ooze?
+
+MARISHA: Jell-o!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to back up away from it.
+
+ASHLEY: Kill the box, Jester.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use the Sacred Flame cantrip
+because I figure it’s not very dextrous.
+
+LIAM: Everybody has advantage on attack rolls.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a three. What’s the
+damage on that?
+
+LAURA: It’s a 1d8 radiant damage.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Six!
+
+MATT: Six points of radiant damage. As this flame
+bursts at the side of it, part of it jello-wiggles
+
+for a second.
+
+LAURA: Did it look like it did anything to it?
+
+MATT: It looked like it hurt it maybe, but it just
+looks like it’s a big gelatinous cube.
+
+TALIESIN: The radiant didn’t seem to have an extra
+effect then?
+
+MATT: No, it did not.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right, end of Jester’s turn. Beau and
+Yasha, you guys are up.
+
+LIAM: Beauyasha. Do it up.
+
+ASHLEY: Lady.
+
+MARISHA: Do we just slap jello?
+
+ASHLEY: I think.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do a full-on–
+
+LIAM: Jello shots!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, doing a full-on jello shot.
+
+MATT: Moving into it to assault it? Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good, that’s an 18! Plus six, so
+24?
+
+MATT: That definitely hits.
+
+MARISHA: Seven plus four, 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage?
+
+LIAM: You did it at advantage?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LIAM: Go for the 20!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’ll go for the 20, in case I roll
+a natural 20. I did not roll a natural 20.
+
+MATT: So 11 points of damage with your hit as you
+slam it with the side of your staff. It shivers
+
+and shakes at the impact and your staff slides
+through and barely emerges through the opposite
+
+side of it, seemingly closing around and reforming
+where the gap was carved through.
+
+MARISHA: Does it feel like I did some damage?
+
+MATT: Maybe.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’ll take my bonus and whack. Or
+you know what? Yeah, I’m going to whack it.
+
+MATT: All right, so you’re going to punch it.
+
+SAM, LAURA, and MARISHA: Slap that jello.
+
+TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Slap-a the bass!
+
+MARISHA: That’s good! That’s 21.
+
+LAURA: Is there something in it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, bones.
+
+MARISHA: Six damage.
+
+TRAVIS: There is something in it!
+
+MATT: Six damage, all right. As you sock it with
+your fist, it quakes. As you pull your hand back,
+
+your whole hand goes numb.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+MATT: All feeling is lost from almost partway down
+your arm, and you’re like, oh, that’s–
+
+MARISHA: It’s like that pins and needles thing?
+
+ASHLEY: It’s a weird feeling?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, like, dead arm. It’s a little
+dead.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you staying next to it or you–
+
+LAURA: Back away from it. What if a tentacle comes
+out of it or something?
+
+MARISHA: Where’s Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Your right.
+
+MARISHA: Can I go around near Frumpkin and flank
+it?
+
+MATT: You can move around–
+
+MARISHA: That’s good. That’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Don’t step on my cat.
+
+MATT: All righty. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’m going to rage? I would like to
+rage. Well wait, maybe I don’t really need to do
+
+that because we have advantage anyway.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, you don’t need to.
+
+LAURA: There’s no harm in raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Divine Fury.
+
+MATT: Are you moving in to assault it?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep.
+
+LAURA: Assault it!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to do that again.
+
+LAURA: Advantage. She has advantage because–
+
+MATT: Oh, right. Because the–
+
+ASHLEY: Eight!
+
+MATT: Still hits.
+
+ASHLEY: It still hits?!
+
+LAURA: It’s a cube!
+
+MATT: It’s not hard to hit. It’s a giant,
+quivering cube. Roll damage. 2d6 plus five plus
+
+your 1d6 plus two, I think?
+
+LAURA: Did she get– oh, nevermind.
+
+MATT: 3d6 plus seven.
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+SAM: Because it’s her strength?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s more than that!
+
+ASHLEY: It is?
+
+LAURA: Here’s ten, plus five, 15.
+
+MATT: 15 plus two for rage, three for strength,
+and plus two for your–
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+TRAVIS: 22, 24.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Wait. 21.
+
+MATT: 21 points of damage. As you carve through,
+you actually watch a corner of it slide off and
+
+turn to sludge and water on the ground. Your blade
+cuts through a section of it and (wet wobbling sound).
+
+ASHLEY: Nothing.
+
+MATT: No, it hurt it.
+
+LAURA: 22.
+
+ASHLEY: It did?
+
+SAM: You did great!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: Way to go, Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: But what– I don’t see anything
+happening!
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a big cube of sludge.
+
+ASHLEY: Did it change shape at all?
+
+MATT: No, it’s still cubic. You carved through a
+portion of it. All right, does that finish your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to back up a little bit.
+
+MATT: All right, so you want to back up a little
+bit? As you pull back a little bit, it gets one
+
+swing at you with a pseudopod. Part of it–
+
+LIAM: At disadvantage!
+
+MATT: –(sploosh) swings out at you– yes, it
+does.
+
+MARISHA: And I hit it with Sentinel!
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: At advantage!
+
+MATT: It rolled pretty well for having
+disadvantage. That would be a total of 16 to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Yasha!
+
+LAURA: Stupid cube!
+
+MATT: You take 13 points of acid damage, as it
+slams into you and begins to burn the skin.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that get halved because of raging?
+
+MATT: Acid damage is not halved, unfortunately.
+And you strike it?
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a 15.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Six damage.
+
+MATT: Six damage? All righty.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. These are all my unarmed strikes,
+yeah?
+
+MATT: Yes. You punch with your other hand and now
+both of your hands are numb and you’re like, “Ugh!”
+
+MARISHA: I hate that feeling!
+
+TRAVIS: Novocaine hands?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Your whole torso, Yasha, is burning, and
+underneath the burning pain you feel numbness
+
+under your chin and your tongue’s going a little
+(lolling).
+
+LAURA: Oh no! Is she poisoned?
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try, just for shits and
+giggles, I’m going to activate the ice damage on
+
+my sword. I’m going to run up– where am I? Over
+there? I’m going to run up, take a swing at that corner–
+
+MATT: Okay, you dash up to its side there.
+
+TALIESIN: So that’s 14 to hit.
+
+MATT: 14 hits!
+
+TALIESIN: I know, it’s like, just in case, I will
+be the one to miss. And that’s six plus one ice,
+
+so that’s seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven damage, nice. You strike through and
+the ice crystallizes inside. As you cut through,
+
+the liquid and the moisture (shattering) leaves
+this–
+
+TRAVIS: Like ballistic gel?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Stuck in the inside. So that’s one
+carved through.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s my bonus to activate it.
+
+MATT: Right, so it’s your one strike.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to back off into the corner
+then.
+
+MATT: It already used its reaction.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, so I’m using that.
+
+MATT: You strike and then dart back, jump to the
+back of the room getting ready for you next round.
+
+That finishes Molly’s round. Nott and Fjord,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Ladies first.
+
+SAM: Yes, I feel so conflicted trying to hurt a
+cube. But I will. I will bash that cube until it
+
+explodes all over the place. Wait.
+
+TALIESIN: Whoa!
+
+SAM: I rolled a natural 20 to attack with my hand
+crossbow.
+
+MATT: Roll damage on that.
+
+SAM: With sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Technically, yes, you have Beau.
+
+SAM: And it’s crit so double?
+
+MATT: Double dice and then add your dexterity
+modifier.
+
+SAM: 24, plus–
+
+28.
+
+MATT: Shit!
+
+SAM: Oh, and I’ll use Fury of the Small to make it
+30!
+
+LIAM: I want to roll a rogue right now!
+
+LAURA: I know, right?
+
+MATT: Is it half your level, or is it your level?
+
+SAM: Fury of the Small. Let me look.
+
+MATT: It’s damage equal to your level, right?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: That’s an additional four so that’s 32
+damage.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit!
+
+LIAM: That builds, goblin?
+
+SAM: Class features.
+
+MATT: I’m pretty sure it’s equal to your level.
+
+SAM: I’m looking.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it racial features or class
+features?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I’ll look it up later!
+
+TALIESIN: It would be racial features.
+
+SAM: For which archetype? Spellcasting, Mage Hand?
+Oh shit, I should’ve used Mage Hand before!
+
+MATT: (laughs) Remember, that’s actually your
+archetype.
+
+SAM: I don’t know what I should be doing!
+
+TALIESIN: Class features.
+
+MATT: Regardless, you did a lot of damage to it,
+so 32 with your level added to it, as you strike
+
+it with your crossbow.
+
+SAM: Okay. Then I will move around that way, yes,
+as far as possible.
+
+MATT: 30.
+
+SAM: And I’ll shoot again. Why not? With advantage
+still?
+
+LIAM: It’s restrained.
+
+SAM: 18 plus a lot.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Seven more points of damage.
+
+MATT: 39 points of damage in one round of combat.
+Not too bad!
+
+ASHLEY: Nicely done!
+
+LIAM: Low-level rogue! High-level rogue, eh, but
+low-level rogue is sick.
+
+LAURA: High-level rogue was still pretty cool.
+
+MARISHA: What was it, like 79 points of damage you
+did in one round?
+
+LIAM: One time.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that was great.
+
+MATT: That ends Nott’s turn. Fjord, what are you
+doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to use my speed to run on this
+side of the cube closer to you, as far back
+
+against that wall as possible.
+
+MATT: 25. Right there. 30 will be all the way
+back.
+
+TRAVIS: 30’s perfect. Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: At advantage. That’s cocked. That natural
+19’s not bad, though.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. Ten plus four, that’s 14 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: 14 points of damage. This thing is just
+getting hit with crossbow bolts and the blasts on
+
+the sides of it. It’s taking damage, but it’s a
+hardy mass of slime and gelatin.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a hardy mallow.
+
+MATT: Indeed. That finish your turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it does.
+
+MATT: All righty, it’s now the gelatinous cube’s
+turn. It’s going to attempt to break free of the
+
+large Earthen Paw.
+
+TALIESIN: At disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s not disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Just for attacks.
+
+MATT: That is going to be– what save?
+
+LIAM: 15 for me.
+
+MATT: It’s a strength check. So that would be plus
+two, that’s a 15.
+
+LIAM: Gott verdammt! It’s out.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, it breaks free?!
+
+TRAVIS: No, I thought it was going to stay there!
+
+LAURA: Beau’s right next to it. It’s going to
+slurp you.
+
+LIAM: Does that mean it’s not restrained?
+
+MATT: No, it can still move as part of its
+action.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit!
+
+LAURA: Half of its movement.
+
+MATT: It’s going to (squelching).
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Who’s it going for?!
+
+LIAM: Who’s it getting? My cat?! You
+motherfucker!
+
+(screaming and laughter)
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+LIAM: I mean, I’m assuming it takes like four
+points of damage immediately, my cat.
+
+TRAVIS: How many hit points does it have?
+
+LIAM: Three? It’s gone instantly!
+
+MARISHA: Did any of that trigger my sentinel?
+
+MATT: Your cat moved aside. I did that to fuck
+with you. Its engulf is an action, and it already
+
+used an action to break free. But it did move over
+and you guys basically moved out of the way. It’s
+
+now right next to both Beau and Jester.
+
+MARISHA: It didn’t move out of my range at all?
+
+MATT: It did not. You’ve already used your
+reaction anyway.
+
+SAM: Can I say that it looks like that artisanal
+ice that you get at really classy bars, and now
+
+I’m really thirsty for like a scotch.
+
+MATT: That’s going to end its turn. That brings us
+to the top of the round. That is Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I believe my Cat’s Paw is still in existence
+and would like to try to do the same shit.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: So. (swiping) (meow) 15. It can move as
+well.
+
+SAM: It’s like Bigby’s Paw?
+
+LIAM: It is.
+
+MATT: You can move it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I can.
+
+TRAVIS: Bigby’s Dirty, Dirty Cat Paw?
+
+LIAM: Looking it up.
+
+MATT: Reaches for one creature it can see within
+five feet of it.
+
+LIAM: Did it get five feet? It was five feet in
+front of it and it moved that way. It would’ve
+
+been right in front of it.
+
+MATT: Sure, we’ll go for it.
+
+LIAM: All right, so DC 15.
+
+MATT: DC 15 on what? What’s the save on it?
+
+LIAM: It’s strength.
+
+MATT: Right, strength again. That’s a 14 plus two,
+16.
+
+LIAM: Aw, it doesn’t do it. Great. I will use the
+rest of my movement to move another ten feet back
+
+in the hallway I’m in.
+
+MATT: Okay. Slowly backing away. As you step on
+that platform back there, you feel it buzz for a
+
+second, and nearby you hear this whining of metal
+against metal as the trap is still broken but
+
+waiting. That ends Caleb’s go. Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, and it’s right next to me now? Oh
+god! Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: (sings) It’s right next to me now!
+
+LAURA: Ooh, I’m going to cast Toll the Dead on it.
+
+MATT: All right. Save on that is constitution?
+
+LAURA: It’s a wisdom save!
+
+MATT: Wisdom save! That is strangely a 14.
+
+LAURA: Also 14.
+
+MATT: Oh shit, yeah. 16 minus 2. So no effect.
+
+LAURA: Balls. Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, don’t you get an advant– no.
+
+TALIESIN: Advantage is over.
+
+LAURA: Okay, then I guess I’m going to (singing)
+try to back away from it.
+
+MATT: Which way?
+
+LAURA: Towards Fjord.
+
+MATT: Towards Fjord? So you’re going to back away
+here?
+
+LAURA: A little further if I can, please.
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+LAURA: Because it probably can’t move very far.
+
+MATT: It’s going to swing at you with its
+pseudopod as you move out of its range. That’s a
+
+natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Bitch of a fucking marshmallow!
+
+MATT: That’s some good rolls in the past couple of
+rounds. That’s going to be– ooh! 32 points of
+
+acid damage.
+
+ALL: Oh!
+
+SAM: That’s all the points!
+
+LIAM: She’s out!
+
+LAURA: I’m out. I’m unconscious.
+
+LIAM: Was she absorbed?
+
+MATT: I rolled– it’s 3d6. Six, four, six,
+doubled.
+
+LIAM: Is she absorbed?
+
+LAURA and MATT: No.
+
+MARISHA: It got a natural 20.
+
+MATT: Not at the moment. So you are unconscious
+right next to–
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, but she wasn’t that close to him!
+
+LAURA: I was.
+
+MATT: She tried to move away.
+
+ASHLEY: Shit.
+
+MATT: So it hits you from behind, and the last
+thing you feel is numbness overtake your body as
+
+darkness clouds around your eyes and you are out.
+
+SAM: Jester, like all beautiful women, succumbed
+to the cube.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: What?!
+
+LAURA: If I die tonight, when I decided to come
+and play even though I’m coughing–
+
+MATT: I’m sorry. That ends Jester’s turn. That
+brings us to Beau and Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: And that, I wouldn’t have– Okay. I
+already got my one reaction?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s your turn.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like that was before, though, the
+one reaction.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m coming for her.
+
+MARISHA: The first one. With it being one more
+round, do I have a reaction?
+
+MATT: No, because that was happening during–
+That’s since your last turn. So your reaction has
+
+come back now. You don’t get an attack, but now
+you do after this. It’s your turn.
+
+MARISHA: It’s me and Yasha.
+
+SAM: Yasha’s a healer, right?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, didn’t you get Sentinel on it?
+
+MARISHA: I did on the round before. I feel like I
+have one more round but I don’t think I did. Did
+
+you, though? Because it moved out of your range!
+
+MATT: It did, but you guys have the same
+initiative round. So you used your reaction on
+
+your turn last round to hit it, as she was running
+away, and now it’s reset to this round.
+
+MARISHA: But did Yasha?
+
+MATT: Yasha hasn’t, no. Yasha ran out of range and
+hasn’t been able to use her reaction to hit since then.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, she ran out of range. Okay.
+
+MATT: That’s how you got the attack on it. She ran
+away and it hit her, and then you got a shot.
+
+MARISHA: I was thinking there was another round in
+between that. I’m going to lay into it.
+
+MATT: All right. So you’re staying where you are
+and start–
+
+MARISHA: Wait. Wait.
+
+ALL: Wait. Wait. Wait.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to die, you guys.
+
+SAM: You’ll be fine!
+
+LIAM: No, probably you’ll die.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, you already went. You’re going to
+give it to her? Okay. Then I’ll lay into it.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I wanted to make sure someone was
+going to get Jester out.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m leaving her behind.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits!
+
+LAURA: When does the cube go?
+
+TRAVIS: Last.
+
+MARISHA: That’s nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage, nice. As you slap it
+with the side of the bo again, you watch and it
+
+buckles in places.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to go ahead and do Flurry of
+Blows for these next two. That’s a natural 18.
+
+MATT: That hits, definitely.
+
+MARISHA: So five points of damage. The second one.
+That’s not great. That’s 11.
+
+MATT: Still hits.
+
+MARISHA: Great, and that’s seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: You’re punching this thing, and you’re
+watching it quiver and part of it is shifting and
+
+it’s looking pretty damaged in spite of its size
+at this point in time, so well done. Yasha, what
+
+are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: All right, I’m going to go up to it. Get
+it sliced. Raging, reckless. Divine– no, I can’t
+
+do divine.
+
+MATT: Yes, every turn you can do it.
+
+ASHLEY: Every turn I can do it.
+
+LIAM: Yasha!
+
+SAM: First roll to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh! First roll to hit.
+
+MATT: With advantage, because you went reckless.
+
+ASHLEY: With advantage. Yeah, 20.
+
+MATT: Roll again, just in case. Reckless is good
+because you have a double chance to critical.
+
+ASHLEY: Don’t ever not do it, okay. 22.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s it. 22 damage. How do you want
+to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Is that your first one?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes!
+
+MATT: You see it being hit by Beau and it’s slowly
+shifting its weight towards the unconscious body
+
+of Jester on the ground. You watch it expanding to
+start pulling her leg inward.
+
+ASHLEY: I take the tip of the sword, and I slowly
+start pushing into the middle and then (sword
+
+slicing across).
+
+MATT: As you push it all the way into the center
+of it, it begins to shake and quiver and begins to
+
+slowly encapsulate your arm and forearm as it
+rises up, and your arm is numb. You shake your
+
+head and cut out to the side, and as you do, you
+watch the side of it splash out, almost like
+
+popping a water balloon. The interior of it turns
+to liquid water and begin to spill out as it
+
+slowly deflates and liquefies across the ground,
+like a jellyfish beached.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, I’m stepping in it.
+
+LIAM: Ashley, you just destroyed a classic
+Dungeons & Dragons foe.
+
+(clapping)
+
+MATT: I’ll tell you one thing, that restraint
+saved your fucking ass at the start! It never got
+
+to engulf. Never got a chance to engulf.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll run over, and I’ll kneel down next to
+Jester, and pick up her head and pour a health
+
+potion there.
+
+LIAM: (Imitating Jester) Put your tusk in there,
+Fjord!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oh, Oskar.
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+LAURA: Thank you for saving me.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s Fjord.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I mean Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You all right?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Get up, come on, on your feet.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Did we kill it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yup.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I think that was my fault, you
+guys.
+
+TALIESIN: No, these things happen.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything come out of the middle of that
+thing?
+
+MATT: From the middle of it? No, it turns to
+liquid gel.
+
+LIAM: Get my cat out of there.
+
+MATT: One of these days I’ll get to put one of you
+guys in.
+
+MARISHA: Aw, Frumpkin! Hey buddy.
+
+LIAM: From down the hallway you hear: Now the
+question is, if we do the same thing again, will
+
+another one come out? Or do we need to try to hit
+all three at the same time? Let me come in there.
+
+MATT: Actually, I guess I’ll leave this here.
+
+LIAM: Leave it nearby.
+
+MATT: I’ll set it aside.
+
+MARISHA: Well, if you hit all with everything at
+once, then the worst that can happen is that we
+
+have to fight two more things at the same time.
+
+LIAM; Well, Jester did necrotic, and I can
+obviously handle, well, I can handle evocation or–
+
+LAURA: Who has divination, though?
+
+MATT: What you didn’t notice during this process
+was the pillar above, the base re-closed.
+
+MARISHA: So we have to do it all at once.
+
+LIAM: I can do both divination and evocation.
+
+SAM: At the same time?
+
+LIAM: Can you do one of those things?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. You taught me magic. What are
+mine? What are my spells?
+
+LIAM: Well, tell me what you are able to do.
+
+SAM: Here, I’ll show you on D&D Beyond.
+
+TRAVIS: What are the last two? Divination and–
+
+LIAM: Divination and evocation.
+
+LAURA: Does anybody have one of those?
+
+SAM: Most of mine are illusion and something
+else.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you can do evocation with this one–
+
+SAM: Okay, I can do evocation!
+
+LIAM: But you have to get up there, though. You
+have to touch it with that one.
+
+LAURA: Can your mage hand lift you up?
+
+SAM: No. But I can do climb!
+
+TALIESIN: Well, we have to do it in the bowl.
+
+SAM: Or we do it to the rod.
+
+TRAVIS: To the bowl.
+
+LIAM: So you handle evocation. I can handle the
+divination. You handle necrotic.
+
+MATT: Where are the bowls placed right now? On the
+symbols in the center?
+
+SAM: In the hole.
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+SAM: I can do Shocking Grasp as a evocation
+spell.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I have an idea. Maybe we should take
+the bowls outside of the room and cast something
+
+on the bowls and see if one of the symbols on the
+bowls light up. That way, the staff doesn’t absorb
+
+the spell immediately. Because when I cast Toll
+the Dead, I was trying to cast it on the bowl,
+
+right? But instead, my spell went up into the
+middle of the staff. Maybe if we try casting it on
+
+the bowls outside of the room, that won’t happen.
+
+SAM: Can’t we cast it on the staff?
+
+TALIESIN: There is a room outside this room where
+it seems like there was a room for maybe preparing
+
+the bowls?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s do that. Jester, lead the
+way.
+
+LIAM: It is worth a try. Of course it is.
+
+LAURA: Just so we don’t have to fight another
+cube, just in case.
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty good. I have not let go all of my
+preparation for the day.
+
+LAURA: How many points of healing did you give me?
+When you poured the spell in my mouth?
+
+MATT: Was it a regular healing potion?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just regular.
+
+MATT: 2d4 plus two.
+
+LIAM: Is everyone all right?
+
+TRAVIS: Six.
+
+LIAM: Jester, how are you feeling?
+
+LAURA: I’m feeling like I’m a little sick right
+now, but you know.
+
+LIAM: No, not Laura but you: Jester. How are you
+feeling?
+
+LAURA: I’m feel like I’ve got very little health.
+Like I’m bleeding a little bit from my ears.
+
+LIAM: I reach into the satchel on the side.
+
+SAM: No. You keep it. I’ll do it.
+
+LIAM: I give her my potion of healing. Regular
+healing.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, I have healing spells still. It’s
+okay.
+
+LIAM: Well, what are you complaining about then?
+
+LAURA: I wasn’t bitching at all! You asked.
+
+LIAM: That is not the verbiage that I chose at
+all.
+
+SAM and ASHLEY: The “werbage”.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Wubba lubba “werbage”!
+
+LAURA: Let’s fucking go out into this hallway,
+okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Beau and I take the bowls. We head
+out into the hallway.
+
+MATT: You guys head out past the traps, carefully
+stepping across the currently-held traps and you
+
+have the bowls in the far hallway.
+
+LAURA: Should we try casting a spell on one of the
+bowls and see what happens?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We lay all three of them, one, two,
+three, out in a row.
+
+LIAM: Necro, evo, and divination all together.
+
+TRAVIS: Evo, you first. Pick a bowl.
+
+SAM: Wait, no. We have to do it instantaneously.
+
+LAURA: No, we don’t. I don’t think so because
+we’re not in the room anymore so we can try to see
+
+if the bowls do anything.
+
+LIAM: Do you think it would hurt if we did it at
+the same time?
+
+SAM: Yeah, what’s the problem with that?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, try it. We’ll see what happens.
+
+LIAM: Let’s do it at the same time.
+
+SAM: At the count of zwei.
+
+MARISHA: Beau takes off her belt.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast my Spare the Dying
+cantrip.
+
+MATT: Which is?
+
+LAURA: Necromancy.
+
+MATT: Necromancy. You’re casting?
+
+SAM: Shocking Grasp.
+
+MATT: Okay. Which is evocation.
+
+LIAM: Identify, which is divination.
+
+MARISHA: I take off my belt, and I hold it up like
+a rally car racer girl.
+
+(silence)
+
+TRAVIS: We’re waiting.
+
+MARISHA: Three, two, one. (swishing)
+
+SAM: (gibberish)
+
+MATT: You guys all cast your spells. No effect on
+the bowls.
+
+SAM: We have to be in the room!
+
+MATT: It’s hard to see because there’s still the
+ash caked on the inside of it.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I blow on the bowl. Does it look like
+any of the symbols got any brighter?
+
+TALIESIN: I would say the one that I had I
+probably polished up.
+
+MATT: It’s very hard to see with very little light
+in here.
+
+LIAM: Okay. That was good. We checked that box, so
+let’s go back into the room.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+MARISHA: Come on.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s good. It’s 20.
+
+MATT: 20? Very good. There is something bugging
+you in the back of your head. Something that says
+
+the fact that these were urns that carried ash
+speaks to the purpose of these. You can’t make the
+
+connection here, but the fact that each of these
+were filled with ash is bugging you. There’s
+
+something there.
+
+LIAM: The urns, currently, are totally empty?
+
+MATT: They’re totally empty, yes.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we cast it on the rod?
+
+LIAM: I know. I–
+
+LAURA: Do we need to set these on fire?
+
+LIAM: We maybe need to go upstairs and scoop some
+of the dustbuster bullshit into these and bring
+
+them down.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, you want to go cast it on the rod?
+Let’s go. You and me, we’ll do it.
+
+LAURA: You need three spells.
+
+LIAM: No, I’m saying we need to go collect some of
+the ashes of the dead from upstairs.
+
+TRAVIS: Or maybe we need to set them on fire.
+
+LIAM: Something is missing here.
+
+LAURA: We need to set it on fire?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, are they already filled with ash?
+Right now?
+
+MATT: The ash has been mostly cleaned out.
+
+MARISHA: I still have this holy water, too.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you have your torch, and you have your
+spells.
+
+LIAM: It’s possible that we need to burn something
+afresh.
+
+LAURA: Hold the torch under one of the bowls.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I can set things on fire as well. Do
+you want to do one?
+
+LAURA: Just hold it under and see what happens.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it’s easier. I cast Firebolt into one
+of them.
+
+MATT: You cast Firebolt into one of them. The
+flame bursts in there as you guys take the torch
+
+over to the side. As the fire subsides, you see
+each of the symbols, portions of them are left
+
+glowing and slowly fade.
+
+MARISHA: Which ones? Which portions?
+
+MATT: All of them. All the symbols have certain
+parts of them that just glow for a second in the
+
+presence of fire and then fade.
+
+LAURA: Hold the torch under one of them for a long
+time and see what happens.
+
+MATT: Who’s going to hold the bowl?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll hold the bowl. I’m resistant to
+fire.
+
+MATT: You take the bowl, and you hold it out
+there. It hurts a little but as you hold the torch
+
+underneath, it begins to light up. You watch as
+the symbols begin to glow on the inside of these
+
+metal inscribed bits.
+
+TALIESIN: Look at this.
+
+LAURA: Woah! Here we go.
+
+SAM: So creepy.
+
+TALIESIN: There we are.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+SAM: What? Parts of the symbols are glowing more.
+
+LAURA: We were wrong about what we needed to
+cast.
+
+LIAM: Just to note, Schmidt is still here with us.
+If we need anyone to hold anything that’s dangerous–
+
+LAURA: That’s that one.
+
+TALIESIN: We need– transmutation–
+
+LAURA: What is this?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s–
+
+LAURA: Illusion! We need an illusion.
+
+SAM: I know those!
+
+TALIESIN: And we need enchantment.
+
+LAURA: Transmutation–
+
+TALIESIN: Illusion and enchantment.
+
+MARISHA: And enchantment.
+
+LAURA: I have an enchantment.
+
+LIAM: I have transmutation.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s fine writing around the square.
+That’s not just a shape. See this writing in here?
+
+SAM: I know an enchantment spell and an illusion
+spell.
+
+LIAM: I know enchantment and transmutation.
+
+SAM: Why don’t you do trans? I’ll do enchant.
+
+LAURA: I can transmute or something.
+
+SAM: Oh, you can?
+
+LAURA: I think so.
+
+LIAM: All right. We’ll figure out–
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think it turns.
+
+SAM: I’m so glad you taught me magic, Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got an idea. I think I know how it
+works now.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how it works, and I’m not paying
+any attention. I’m very drunk.
+
+TALIESIN: This is great. I think that this is a
+guide. We know what we need to know because of
+
+these bowls. I think we need all three of these
+versions of the spells placed in each of these points.
+
+MARISHA: We put bowls– no.
+
+LAURA: We don’t even need the bowls.
+
+SAM: One, two three, right there! That’s where we
+need to spin it over there!
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody stand at their point.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I got to find my spell that actually
+does the thing that I said I could do.
+
+SAM: Oh! Right there! See? That symbol matches
+with this one.
+
+TALIESIN: (sarcastically) Are you sure?
+
+SAM: I figured this out, guys!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Wait, I have enchantment.
+
+SAM: So what do you have?
+
+LAURA: Enchantment.
+
+TALIESIN: We need transmutation and illusion.
+
+LIAM: I have transmutation and enchantment.
+
+SAM: I have illusion and transmutation.
+
+LIAM: And what do you have, Jester?
+
+LAURA: I have enchantment.
+
+LIAM: So you’re enchantment. That means I have
+transmutation.
+
+SAM: I’m illusion.
+
+MARISHA: All right, yes!
+
+TALIESIN: If anything starts to happen, I want you
+to run for the door.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll go stand by the enchantment–
+under the symbol for enchantment, just in case.
+
+TALIESIN: That would be the three dots.
+
+SAM: What about you Fjord? Don’t you have some
+spells on you? Why aren’t you helping out?
+
+TRAVIS: What do you want?
+
+LAURA: Can you do enchantment?
+
+TRAVIS: Nope. I got evocation. I got necrotic.
+
+LIAM: If another cube or something comes out–
+
+TALIESIN: We need fighters.
+
+MARISHA: Me and Fjord will stand by in case
+anything else drops out of the ceiling.
+
+LIAM: That’s right. We’ve got these two bruisers
+here. That’s good. I concur.
+
+TALIESIN: Just in case, I’m going to light my
+other sword too.
+
+MATT: (flames) Mark your damage on that.
+
+SAM: Where are we casting it upon?
+
+LAURA: I think we’re casting it at the staff.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha, you want to take another point?
+Fighters and casters?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god. I’m going to cast Armor of
+Agathys on myself again.
+
+LAURA: Do we need to be standing in front of the
+symbol that it lines up with?
+
+TALIESIN: I would stand in front of the symbols on
+the triangle, personally.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go stand in front of the three dots.
+
+MARISHA: This was a research facility for mages.
+They’re super uppity about this shit, yeah.
+
+SAM: I go over next to the illusion one.
+
+LIAM: I, of course, in front of transmutation.
+
+MATT: As you guys are triangulated around those
+specific coordinates you’ve set yourselves, what
+
+do you do?
+
+LAURA: We count to three and we go?
+
+LIAM: You’re doing what? I’m doing Maximilian’s
+Earthen Grasp again with my cat’s paw.
+
+LAURA: I’m doing Hold Person.
+
+SAM: I’m taking a bit of fleece and doing some
+hand symbols and casting Silent Image.
+
+MATT: All right. You’re casting–?
+
+LAURA: Hold Person.
+
+MARISHA: I pull off the belt again.
+
+ASHLEY: Sword at the ready.
+
+MARISHA: One, two, three!
+
+MATT: As the three of you complete your
+incantations, the energy unleashed from the arcane
+
+and divine schools of magic, you watch as the
+energy disperses from the spell, and all three go
+
+(sucking sound) right into the center rod. It sits
+there shimmering from the impact. You guys back
+
+away, and it slowly goes cold again. On the
+opposite side of the chamber, you hear (grinding),
+
+and you watch as a false wall on the opposite end
+rotates open, leading you to a hallway on the
+
+opposite side that was previously closed.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Well done, guys!
+
+LAURA: Oh man!
+
+TRAVIS: I cast Armor of Agathys for nothing.
+
+MATT: You still got it for an hour.
+
+LAURA: That’s good, because who knows what else
+we’ll run into while we’re down here.
+
+MARISHA: On the other side.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I’m wearing it. I’ll run over to the
+door.
+
+TALIESIN: Check for traps.
+
+LIAM: Wait! I sit down, and I start doing the
+ritual for Detect Magic again. Ten minutes.
+
+MATT: While he’s doing that, anybody else doing
+anything?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m running over to the door. I’m not
+crossing the threshold. I just want to see. I got darkvision.
+
+MATT: Looking inside, with what low light is
+coming through from the edges of Yasha’s
+
+torchlight, the first thing that hits you is the
+smell. It’s a strange combination of old decay,
+
+strong rust, and burnt hair. It’s hard to
+describe, but it’s a very unpleasant mingling of
+
+smells as it hits you. Looking inside, you see a
+chamber ahead divided into three smaller sections
+
+and a center main chamber area. The center main
+chamber area is what you can most make out the
+
+details of. It looks like some sort of inert
+arcane circle in the center. There’s a symbol
+
+drawn there with runes around, but it’s currently
+cold and dark. You can’t see much further beyond
+
+that because you’re staying at the doorway, and to
+the right and left it looks there’s two smaller
+
+chambers immediately, and then it goes further
+in.
+
+TRAVIS: We got more magic stuff inside. I know
+Caleb’s meditating, but it’s going to get hairy, I
+
+bet. Smells a little burnt hair-y.
+
+ASHLEY: I walk up behind Fjord.
+
+MATT: The torchlight extends into the chamber, and
+you can see a little more now. The two side
+
+chambers are almost pill-shaped. They’re rounded
+at each side, and they’re enclosed, but open into
+
+the center chamber. At each of these rounded
+edges, as you step inside and glance to the right
+
+and left, you can see cage-like contraptions: iron
+domes that are very tight-knit, dark iron rusted
+
+metal. They’re on the edges of each side. You see
+load-bearing pillars in the center of the chamber
+
+to the right and left, and cold braziers behind
+those against the walls: little domed pieces of
+
+stone that once contained flame for light. Across
+the way you can see two tables with chairs, a
+
+bookcase. That’s all you can see at this
+distance.
+
+TRAVIS: The dome cages are solid steel, or are
+they bars?
+
+MATT: They’re bars, but the bars are an inch, inch
+and a half between each. It’s very little space in between.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start heading in this
+direction, too. Does one of them look like it was
+
+possibly holding a gelatinous cube at some point?
+
+MATT: Are you entering the chamber to look?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll go with you.
+
+LAURA: You should detect traps.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll look for traps. I know it’s
+my job.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Five more minutes!
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Best you can tell, there’s no traps in this
+first portion of the chamber.
+
+SAM: All clear. I take another swig from my
+flask.
+
+MATT: Okay. How drunk are you right now?
+
+SAM: Pretty drunk.
+
+MATT: We’ll put you in the drunk status, then.
+
+SAM: It’s been a long night.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, Molly, want to come in?
+
+SAM: By the way, Yasha, can I say, you weren’t
+even with us yesterday, and now you’re down here
+
+doing this! Is this crazy? What were you doing
+yesterday?
+
+ASHLEY: I was sitting in the tavern and then you
+guys came into the tavern.
+
+SAM: But did you know that you’d be down here with
+us tonight?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, Nott, I did.
+
+SAM: How did you know that?
+
+ASHLEY: I happen to– no, Nott, I did not know.
+
+SAM: How and when will I die?
+
+ASHLEY: I can’t tell you that, Nott.
+
+SAM: But you know!
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, of course.
+
+TRAVIS: She’s powerful.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t spoil it for her. We’ll find out
+in an hour or so anyway.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Good call, Molly.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you enter with the torch as well? All
+right, the three of them enter. You guys following
+
+behind or are you staying back with Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Caleb is super intense on his shit right
+now, going: I am helping the group. Everyone’s
+
+going to be safe.
+
+MARISHA: Beau’s left behind going: Come on! Pick
+it up, Caleb!
+
+LAURA: Beau, should I use my last spell to heal
+myself?
+
+SAM: I have a healing potion.
+
+MARISHA: Jester, you should always look out for
+yourself first, all right?
+
+TRAVIS: I have a healing potion if you want one,
+too.
+
+LAURA: So I should cast the spell on myself?
+
+MARISHA: I am waiting behind, motherfucker!
+
+TRAVIS: I take a healing potion, and I hand it to
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: This seems like a waste of money. I’m
+trying to be smarter with my money.
+
+SAM: No, you’re the worst with money.
+
+MATT: Regular healing potion? 2d4 plus two.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven.
+
+TALIESIN: Yay, double digits.
+
+MATT: It’s better than half. As you guys begin to
+enter the chamber, you are now stepping into the
+
+center of this inert magical circle, with the two
+cold braziers and the pillars. You see the four
+
+cages on the two opposite ends of the rounded,
+pill-shaped side rooms, and across the way there
+
+is the bookcase and the two tables. As you get
+closer and see, there’s two non-lit candelabra.
+
+What faint bits of candle remnants are there are
+mostly melted, and the wax dripping off and
+
+causing small pools in the ground, but they’ve
+been cold for some time.
+
+TRAVIS: I go over to one of the cages.
+
+LIAM: Did we wait the short amount of time for
+Detect Magic?
+
+MARISHA: I am in-between you and them, and I’m
+going: come on, come on.
+
+TRAVIS: I go over to one of the cages, the
+nearest left one.
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: You glance through with the light that’s
+flickering through the various gaps in this iron
+
+cage, and inside you can see a similar clay urn,
+deep red, sitting in the center. You see burnt and
+
+tattered clothing at the sides of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh jeez. Got another urn here full of
+ash.
+
+LAURA: Be careful!
+
+SAM: Kill it! Break it!
+
+TRAVIS: Anyone want to check the other cages? Make
+sure it’s not the same thing in each?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go take a look at the other cage.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll go look at another one.
+
+MATT: You glance– make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: I’m hanging out with Caleb and Beau.
+
+MATT: You finish your ability. Your Detect Magic
+is now in effect.
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: Glancing into one of the far end cages–
+What did you get, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: I got 17.
+
+MATT: You guys hit two other cages on the right
+side, both the far end close edge of that
+
+platform. You’re looking in the small cages. You
+see another urn, and you glance up and see at the
+
+very top, there’s a chain of some kind that was
+wrapped in a noose. You see the urn that contains
+
+the ash down within, there are remnants of ash
+around the outside in a circle, and bits of cloth
+
+and material, and this chain noose hanging above
+where this urn was.
+
+TALIESIN: Would I be insane for thinking this is
+how they make them?
+
+SAM: Make what?
+
+LAURA: The will-o’-wisps.
+
+LIAM: The will-o’-wisps are the dead. They are
+left from the dead.
+
+TALIESIN: This was a factory, maybe?
+
+TRAVIS: Heading over to Molly, I stop in the
+middle of the room at that inert circle. Does it
+
+look like anything?
+
+MATT: Make an arcana check.
+
+ASHLEY: Are we near the table at all?
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: You guys can move to the opposite end if you
+want to get closer to the table. Looking at the
+
+inert circle, it looks like– You have an
+instinctual arcane knowledge that’s been imparted
+
+upon you by whatever this gift has been given to
+you, so the knowledge comes to you. It’s alien but
+
+familiar at the same time, and your brain’s trying
+to work through this disconnect. This circle looks
+
+like it was once developed to be a teleportation
+circle, but has since, it seems, been scarred and closed.
+
+TRAVIS: I feel like this was used to move or
+deliver people or things. This was a center for transportation.
+
+SAM: What the fuck are you talking about?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Are we in the other room still, or did we
+come in?
+
+MATT: Caleb has now finished and you guys can
+enter the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Real bright.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Sounds good, Fjord.
+
+ASHLEY: How close to the table can we get?
+
+MATT: How close do you want to get? There’s two
+tables, both kitty-corner into the further chamber.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to wait for Caleb at this point.
+
+LAURA: Can I look around the room?
+
+SAM: Do you need my help?
+
+TRAVIS: Is he done yet?
+
+LIAM: Give me a second to blacklight the room.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, I love you, but we are missing out
+on other shit. I’m having extreme FOMO right now.
+
+Come on.
+
+LAURA: We’re in the room. Let’s go.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m waiting for the narrator to–
+
+MATT: Yeah, I told you, a couple times. You
+finished your spell.
+
+LIAM: Yes, good, right. So I’m walking. Is there
+anyone between the bookshelf and me, where I am?
+
+Is Fjord?
+
+MATT: Yes, currently it looks like Jester and
+Yasha are in between that space.
+
+LIAM: Who’s the closest?
+
+MATT: They’re both equidistant.
+
+LIAM: I walk up between the two of them, and I
+have a 30 foot radius on the spell, so I’m
+
+basically doing this, but I’m very interested in
+the bookshelf obviously. I’m looking everywhere.
+
+MATT: There’s a very faint magical aura from the
+symbol in the center, but it seems largely clouded
+
+and marked off. It’s like somebody had taped over
+a blacklit drawing. It’s been marred and prevented
+
+from use, from what it seems at the moment.
+
+LIAM: Is there a type? I will ask that every
+time.
+
+MATT: Yes, there is. And just to be consistent,
+here.
+
+LIAM: Friendship magic.
+
+MATT: It is conjuration. There is a very faint
+magical essence, straight ahead. As you focus and
+
+lean forward, it becomes a little stronger. Above
+the bookshelf, there is a shape, embedded in the
+
+wall, that is emitting a slight magical aura.
+
+LIAM: In the wall, above the bookshelf?
+
+MATT: Above the bookshelf, you don’t have quite
+enough light, and Yasha’s holding the torch that’s
+
+being cut off from the roof.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a light stone in my pocket if
+anyone wants to go for it. Here, hold on–
+
+SAM: A light stone?
+
+LAURA: Ooh, I’ll climb up on the bookshelf.
+
+TALIESIN: Careful!
+
+MATT: As you approach, the bookshelf is mostly
+empty. Similar to the first chamber you went to,
+
+it looks like either everything in here was taken
+or destroyed. Most of the bookshelf is plain empty
+
+with broken pieces, and tattered bits of paper,
+and no books present on the shelf at the moment.
+
+LIAM: Zero books.
+
+MATT: That you see on the shelf as you close in to
+look at it. As you climb the shelf and look up,
+
+above the bookshelf there is, placed ornamentally
+on the wall, a very wide blade, longsword of some
+
+kind is bolted onto the wall as an ornamental
+display.
+
+LAURA: Does it look trapped? Is this trapped on
+the wall?
+
+SAM: You want me to check it?
+
+LAURA: Climb up on the bookshelf with me!
+
+TRAVIS: Please pull it out.
+
+TALIESIN: This can’t go wrong.
+
+SAM: I go up and check. I got a– oh wait,
+disadvantage, I’m drunk. That’s a 19.
+
+MATT: 19. Best you can tell, there’s no trap.
+
+LAURA: Should I try to pull it out?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, pull it off. I’ll give you all my
+health potions in one day.
+
+LAURA: I lift, I pull, and I try to pull it off
+the wall.
+
+MATT: Okay. It takes you a moment, because it’s
+bolted in. The blade comes free, and you pull back
+
+on it you begin to, “Whoa!” off the side. You guys
+catch Jester. She plummets off of the bookshelf.
+
+You manage to trust fall her, if you will, as she
+falls from the top.
+
+LAURA: Good job not getting stabbed, you guys,
+because this is sharp-looking.
+
+MATT: It is a heavy-looking blade. The hilt of it
+is gold and curls up to the side. It is all these
+
+tiny runes inscribed along the edge. The central
+blade is thick. It’s about that wide at the side
+
+and slowly tapers to the edge. None of you come
+from a specific blacksmith background, so you
+
+wouldn’t know the purpose of the blade, but it
+looks dangerous.
+
+LAURA: This is a sacrificial blade for sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it long?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s about six feet long.
+
+LIAM: Jester’s holding it?
+
+LAURA: I’m holding it.
+
+LIAM: How’s the girth?
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty girthy. Can you identify it?
+
+LIAM: I obviously can do that, and I have a little
+bit of reserve left, but we are still not topside
+
+yet, so we can either sit for ten minutes and I
+can tell you exactly what it does, or we wait
+
+until later. But I’m not willing to do this–
+
+MARISHA: No more ten minutes.
+
+LIAM: It is ten minutes.
+
+LAURA: I’ll strap it to my back.
+
+LIAM: We can wait until later.
+
+TALIESIN: Put it in the bag.
+
+LAURA: It’s very sharp and the bag is easily
+punctured and I don’t want to risk it. I’ll strap
+
+it to my back.
+
+TRAVIS: Shouldn’t we, for good measure, be
+breaking up these other ceramic–?
+
+TALIESIN: Are those ceramic pots giving anything
+off?
+
+MATT: The tables, by the way, that are right next
+to the bookshelf, have writing utensils, quills on
+
+the side, one has an inkwell that has been long
+dried over that has a spider web attached to it.
+
+LIAM: Does it have any paper?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: A natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Ooh!
+
+MATT: You don’t notice any paper, but as you
+glance underneath one of the tables, on the bottom
+
+it looks like one book has been not taken, or at
+least had fallen beneath and was left behind.
+
+SAM: Liam just got an erection.
+
+MATT: I heard it! It was like (deep thud) on the
+table.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh come on, it’s like (light thud).
+
+LIAM: No, the first one was right.
+
+MATT: The book, as you pull it out, a corner of it
+is burned pretty heavily.
+
+LIAM: Detect Magic’s still going, by the way.
+
+MATT: Correct. There’s no magical source from it.
+Where you found it, there’s a bit of an ash trail
+
+that leads back towards the far wall, towards
+where one of the braziers is. You get the sense
+
+that maybe whatever was in here may have been
+thrown in the braziers to burn and this book got
+
+discarded or thrown. You open and start looking
+through the pages. What languages do you know?
+
+LIAM: I know Common! Oh god. I don’t know where to
+look on D&D Beyond.
+
+SAM: Proficiencies.
+
+MATT: It would be under proficiencies, probably.
+
+SAM: No, it’s not there.
+
+MATT: Oh, it’s not? Okay.
+
+SAM: Come on, D&D Beyond!
+
+TALIESIN: Character details, under description.
+
+LIAM: Description, character details? I know
+Sylvan, Common, and Celestial.
+
+MATT: You do not recognize this script.
+
+LIAM: Then I will cast Comprehend Languages.
+
+SAM: I hope that doesn’t get rid of all your other
+spells.
+
+LIAM: It doesn’t. Just one. I cast Comprehend
+Languages.
+
+MATT: As you finish casting the spell, Caleb’s
+hand incantation completes, the eyes light up with
+
+a strange yellowish energy. All the words on the
+page that previously made no sense suddenly shift,
+
+go out of focus, and come back into focus in a
+language that you can understand. It is Draconic.
+
+Reading through briefly, and it is scribblings,
+disjointed and broken in place. Taking a moment to
+
+look through, you get the sense this is the
+journal of somebody named Siff Duthar.
+
+LIAM: Don’t write that down!
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+LIAM: Because only I know it!
+
+MARISHA: I’m definitely going to write it down.
+
+SAM: Siff Duthar!
+
+MATT: Siff. S-I-F-F. Duthar.
+
+LAURA: The thing is, he probably won’t ever tell
+us.
+
+SAM: He’ll tell me!
+
+MATT: The pages, the ramblings speak of a coming
+war. They talk about foolish pawns who follow
+
+their gods to annihilation. They speak of the
+armies of Ghor Dranas washing over the land and
+
+pauper and kings alike being saved not at all and
+being placed on a pike and held like a banner into
+
+battle regardless of who they are. They speak of
+the weakness of flesh and the need to endure
+
+beyond the paltry life shell that we’re given. It
+talks about experiments with refugees, finding if
+
+the soul is bound to the flesh in any form, be it
+ice or ash. It speaks of an obsession with
+
+avoiding the eternal hunger of The Crawling King,
+he who tunnels beneath the world and will find him.
+
+SAM: Oh boy. This seems like beyond our level
+stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there an audiobook version of this?
+
+MATT: It speaks of a bounty hunter, who had
+infiltrated this sanctum after Siff. And while it
+
+cost Siff his legs, the hunter was burned into the
+brazier, flames of erasure. A trophy shall be
+
+taken and displayed as a warning.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the sword! It’s the fucking sword!
+
+MATT: From there, it grows more and more manic.
+The scrawlings taking you a moment, even with the
+
+spell, to focus and make it out. Speaking on
+quaking within the earth around that shakes the
+
+surrounding hills and darken the sky. The betrayer
+gods come. The power of man must remain. The
+
+arcane gifts must bypass their punishment, show
+them that they are not above their creations. The
+
+final notes grow even more paranoid, worried that
+the secrets that Siff seeks will fall into the
+
+hands of Ghor Dranas and that all must be
+destroyed. All must come to ash and from the
+
+ashes, shall rise again. That’s the final page
+before the rest of the book is charred beyond recognition.
+
+LIAM: Right. I tell nobody this.
+
+SAM: Just say that all again one more time, Matt.
+
+MATT: I can.
+
+LAURA: Say it all out loud.
+
+LIAM: I do read it out loud.
+
+SAM: That is hard core.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s in the urn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, “from ashes shall rise again?” Are
+we going to fight some guy who’s going to chop off
+
+our legs?
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+MARISHA: It talked about chopping off our legs!
+
+LAURA: But then this sword belongs to the guy who
+came to save Siff? The bounty hunter?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the trophy was a warning. He lost
+his legs.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to take a look at some of these
+cages with the urns.
+
+LAURA: What was the thing about “fire or ice,”
+though? It was like, “fire or ice?”
+
+LIAM: Jester, while Molly is looking around, hold
+that for me. Hold it still.
+
+LAURA: Hold what still?
+
+LIAM: The sword, and I will tell you what it is,
+but you have to hold it for a while, Muscles.
+
+LAURA: I’m good.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+you begin to notice, as you’re yelling and
+
+talking, your breath is now visible in the air,
+the temperature growing colder and colder still.
+
+You, looking past the chamber towards one of these
+urns, you see a very faint light, a flicker within
+
+where the ashes are. As this happens, the center
+circle of the chamber begins to glow darker and
+
+darker as a shadow begins to emerge from the
+center of the chamber. Shifting out of the ground,
+
+some sort of whipping cloak around a humanoid
+figure rises out made of pure shadow and darkness.
+
+The cloth is tattered and shifting around causing
+this horrible whipping sound like a wind is
+
+blowing extremely intensely, but only localized
+around this figure. As the face is visible, you
+
+see this ghastly flesh-stretched against the skull
+that’s still made of dark gray matter that begins
+
+to shift and move with the shadows around it. The
+voice, (rasping) “Now secrets are yours.” We’ll pick up
+
+there next week.
+
+(yelling)
+
+SAM: Wait, what?!
+
+LIAM: Oh man.
+
+TRAVIS: Something wicked this way comes.
+
+SAM: I’m so confused!
+
+LAURA: I don’t have hardly any hit points!
+
+SAM: He’s going to talk to us.
+
+MARISHA: I tried to write as much as I could.
+
+LIAM: It’s okay, I have one spell slot left, it’s
+fine.
+
+LAURA: I’ve got a 2nd-level and a 1st-level.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we should run.
+
+LAURA: We should probably run.
+
+MATT: We have a week to think about it.
+
+LAURA: Was he coming up out of the teleportation
+circle?
+
+MATT: You guys were all towards the bookshelf and
+the tables. It emerges from the center area near
+
+the circle, not from the center of the circle, but
+in that vicinity. He wasn’t emerging, he wasn’t
+
+teleporting in. He was rising out the ground while
+Molly’s off by one of the cages on the side.
+
+TALIESIN: I saw something happen in that cage.
+
+MATT: You did.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m at that other corner.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You and Molly are both at the other
+corners.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to wait a week!
+
+SAM: May I ask: What were we sent here to get
+again?
+
+MARISHA: I was going to say, I don’t think we’ve
+achieved anything.
+
+TRAVIS: No, we were supposed to get rid of the
+orb.
+
+MATT: You guys were sent here to–
+
+MARISHA: He wanted us to bring back any type of
+ancient research that we could find.
+
+SAM: Just research?
+
+MARISHA: But we could keep any of the spoils.
+
+LAURA: We could run away, bring the book and run
+away.
+
+LIAM: All we have to say is we cleared it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, if we want to be a little punk ass
+bitch about it! We got to take this guy down!
+
+LAURA: This guy is way beyond our level.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we need to do some discussion.
+
+MATT: This is a game of choices, guys. Figure out
+what your choices are for next week. On that note,
+
+well done, guys!
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to wait a week, I want to do
+it right now!
+
+MATT: If it wasn’t already 10:38, we could
+continue.
+
+LIAM: That’s nothing. I could go for another two
+hours, at least.
+
+MATT: I know. But depending on what you do, could
+TPK real fast. No. Thank you guys so much. Thank
+
+you for watching and tuning in. Don’t forget the
+awesomeness with 826LA.
+
+SAM: Archer season seven?
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MATT: Archer season nine, D&D Beyond, all our
+fantastic sponsors. Pillars of Eternity II, we’re
+
+super excited about that and the new comic. Check
+all that stuff out. Things to hold you over until
+
+next week, at the very least.
+
+LIAM: Only cool things here. Only cool things.
+
+MATT: Thank you so much for watching. Have a
+wonderful night and a wonderful week and is it
+
+Thursday yet? Good night!
+
+LIAM: No, it’s not!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Welcome guys, glad you could join us
+tonight. Before we get started on the game
+
+tonight, I’ve got some quick announcements to get
+through, so bear with us here. First and foremost,
+
+we have returning tonight our fantastic sponsor
+and friend, D&D Beyond! Sam.
+
+SAM: As we’ve previously announced, D&D Beyond is
+contributing $100 to 826LA for every natural one
+
+we roll, and that’s a lot! Also, as part of the
+826LA charity initiative, now that we’re way past
+
+our $10,000 tier, D&D Beyond has offered up the
+discount code “826LA” for 25% off the legendary
+
+bundle. The legendary bundle includes all the
+digital materials available on the D&D Beyond
+
+site, so check it out now. A quick history lesson:
+I did some research. D&D Beyond actually, even
+
+though it’s a popular modern website, it started
+in the 80s when D&D started to get popular. It
+
+didn’t catch on because there was no internet, but
+they still had the website. They did an ad push
+
+for it and I found a script from their earliest ad
+that they put out. It’s a little dated. It’s a
+
+1980s ad for D&D Beyond, and me and my friends
+here are going to act it out for you.
+
+TALIESIN: Help.
+
+SAM: We fade in on a teenager’s room. Knock,
+knock, knock.
+
+TALIESIN: Son! Turn down that Whitney Houston tape
+for a second!
+
+SAM: Grody to the max, Dad! It’s Pet Shop Boys.
+
+TALIESIN: Whatever. Did you do your homework?
+
+SAM: No duh, and now I’m going to watch 21 Jump
+Street on that brand new TV network, Fox! Richard
+
+Grieco is bodacious!
+
+LAURA: Well, your friend, Gail, is here to play
+that game you love.
+
+SAM: Punchout? Contra? Operation Wolf?
+
+LAURA: No, the one your Aunt Pam says was invented
+by Satanists.
+
+ASHLEY: Dungeons & Dragons!
+
+SAM: Hey, Gail! Where’s the beef?
+
+ASHLEY: Eat my shorts, dude!
+
+TALIESIN: Gail, are you sure D&D is safe? It
+scares me like rap music by Public Enemy and LL Cool J.
+
+SAM: Take a chill pill, Dad! D&D is radical. It’s
+as trustworthy as current Democratic presidential
+
+nominee Gary Hart.
+
+TALIESIN: He is trustworthy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: Now it’s even better with D&D Beyond, with
+high speed internet, WiFi or a smartphone you can
+
+access your stats and more on your iPad or laptop.
+
+LAURA: Have any of those things been invented
+yet?
+
+ASHLEY: Gag me with a spoon, Mrs. Henderson.
+
+SAM: Righteous! Now I don’t even want to go see
+that brand new movie, The Lost Boys, I just want
+
+to play D&D! Cut to Travis.
+
+TRAVIS: D&D Beyond, available now exclusively at
+Sharper Image, Sam Goody, Circuit City, Tower
+
+Records, Comp USA and Crazy Eddie.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam.
+
+TALIESIN: That was amazing.
+
+LIAM: How on earth did you not put a Growing Pains
+reference in that?
+
+SAM: This is all heavily researched 1987 facts.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam, and thank you, D&D Beyond.
+We have another sponsor tonight. We’ve talked
+
+about them a little bit in the past and we’re
+super excited to bring Pillars of Eternity II:
+
+Deadfire as an awesome sponsor of the show
+tonight. Once again, from the great Pillars of
+
+Eternity series, I was in the first one and all of
+us are in this one. It comes out very soon, May
+
+8th. It’s in the same world, Eora. It’s a really
+fantastic isometric RPG in the classic style of
+
+Baldur’s Gate. The graphics are beautiful, and the
+music’s incredible. You’d have heard the first
+
+game’s music all through most of the Critical
+Role’s run so far. It’s a great story. For those
+
+that have finished the first game, it deals with
+the god Eothas who is now terrorizing this area
+
+called Deadfire. It’s very pirate ships and
+oceanic island travel and it’s pretty badass. You
+
+get to hear all of us in it and you also get to
+customize Vox Machina in it.
+
+SAM: What?!
+
+LAURA: You didn’t know!
+
+SAM: No!
+
+MATT: If you played the first game, you also get
+to carry over your save over into the second one
+
+and actually have your character and your choices
+in the first game connect to the new story, which
+
+is pretty rad. Check out the new companion voices,
+play the incredible story, and customize some
+
+characters who look like Vox Machina and also
+sound like them if you so feel like it. You can
+
+check it out and buy it at
+versusevil.com/criticalrole.
+
+LIAM: They’ve just revealed the very dashing
+portrait of Scanlan Shorthalt today.
+
+TRAVIS: Sex personified.
+
+MATT: Indeed. It’s awesome. The combat’s super
+tactical. It’s going to be for consoles later this
+
+year, the PC release is right around the corner.
+Get super excited, guys, it’s going to be awesome.
+
+Thank you, Pillars II and our friends at Obsidian.
+It’s one of those days. My brain is melting. Yeah,
+
+check it out. Vox Machina: Origins number six
+comic has been out for a week. If you haven’t had
+
+the chance, check it out.
+
+SAM: I’ve read it. It’s good!
+
+MARISHA: I love it when you’re surprised by your
+own content. It’s my favorite.
+
+MATT: That’s out. If you haven’t seen it yet, I
+recommend it. It finishes that first story arc.
+
+We’ll have some more announcements soon,
+hopefully. We hit our goal with 826, the charity
+
+we’ve been doing. We’ve hit 40K, which means I
+have to do another fireside chat.
+
+SAM: You get to do a fireside chat.
+
+LAURA: It’s a joy, Matt.
+
+MATT: It’s true. It is a joy, actually.
+
+TRAVIS: Sans robe this time?
+
+MATT: No. Don’t give them ideas.
+
+LIAM: You want sherry or schnapps? Or what do you
+want?
+
+MATT: Oh, we’re going port again. That was a good
+night. We’ve got that coming up. We’re getting a
+
+new stretch goal. If we hit 50K in the two next
+weeks, Marisha will be GMing another Honey Heist
+
+game. Super excited for that because that was a
+lot of fun.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) The bears are back in town!
+
+LAURA: Maybe we can play this time.
+
+MATT: Yes, because you guys were out of town last
+time. That’d be perfect. Remember, if you guys
+
+help donate to 826, who are a fantastic
+organization, our gracious critter, Mark, has
+
+matched the donations and has offered to match up
+to 50K now.
+
+SAM: What?! No! That’s too much!
+
+MATT: If we can get 50K, that’s 100K that we as a
+community have raised for this fantastic
+
+organization. You guys are amazing! Keep being
+amazing. Be sure to check with your employer to
+
+see if they offer a charity matching program as
+well, because that’s another cool way you can get
+
+double bang for your buck to help out with charity
+organizations, too. Thank you so much, guys, for
+
+being awesome. Critical Recap just came out for
+last week’s episode. If you haven’t checked that
+
+out yet, you should’ve before this episode
+started! If you missed that and didn’t watch last
+
+week’s episode, you’ll be very confused. If you
+have a friend who’s behind and wants to catch up
+
+with the live stream, Critical Recap is a great
+way to get them caught up really quickly so
+
+they’re not spoiled. Then they can go back and
+trudge through the previous episodes in a lengthy
+
+format. Talks Machina is every Tuesday at 7:00pm
+Pacific time, where our fantastic host, Brian W.
+
+Foster, talks about the previous episode. Next
+week will be this episode of Critical Role with a
+
+few guests from the show to come there and talk
+about what randomness happened in our brain
+
+tonight. Check that out. Podcast of last week’s
+episode is available where all fine podcasts are
+
+available for download. To remind you, because
+it’s been a few weeks, I’ll be at Otafest at
+
+Calgary May 18th to 20th. Not that far from now,
+just a few weeks. Be seeing some of you Canadian
+
+folks. I’ll be at A-Kon in Texas June 7th to 10th,
+so look forward to seeing you guys there. I think,
+
+unless there’s anything else I missed, that’s all
+the announcements we have in log.
+
+LIAM: My gosh, you’ve got a lot going on these
+days.
+
+MATT: I know. It’s all sorts of crazy, let me tell
+you. It’s a lot. On that note, folks, let’s go
+
+ahead and dive into tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everyone. Last we left off:
+The Mighty Nein, after being in proximity to some
+
+sort of an assault from Xhorhasian operatives in
+the city of Zadash here in the center of the
+
+Empire, they found themselves also caught up in a
+murder of the High-Richter in the city. They
+
+pulled away and realized there was a manhunt for
+individuals that were seemingly seen in connection
+
+to this murder. As this was transpiring, they had
+to smuggle out some allies they had found and had
+
+been working with, Dolan and Horris. Dolan, part
+of this whole deal was to get him involved in the
+
+local politics. Horris needed to be smuggled out
+for safety in case they got caught. You made your
+
+way to the Evening Nip, met up with Yasha. Down
+there, you had a conversation with this individual
+
+called The Gentleman. You made a deal. You’ve
+decided to trust each other on this endeavor and
+
+basically do a quid pro quo. A little favor to
+one, favor for the other and see if this is a
+
+business relationship you would want to develop.
+In doing so, Horris was smuggled out of the city.
+
+Safely, seemingly.
+
+LAURA: He keeps saying seemingly! He keeps saying
+that!
+
+MATT: I keep saying that because you weren’t there
+to confirm! I don’t want to say that it happened
+
+because the mystery’s fun. You were brought down
+through the tunnels to the Underworks, towards an
+
+underground dock, where the river that exited to
+the northeast towards Berleben was. You loaded up
+
+on boats to make your way towards a recently
+uncovered but barely explored underground research
+
+facility, long buried. The Gentleman asked you to
+enter it, see what you found, clear it out if
+
+possible, and return. As you made your way down
+there, assailed by a few of the creatures that
+
+existed in that tunnel, you found the exterior of
+this research facility, broke your way in, began
+
+to meander around and discover strange mysteries
+afoot in its construction. The urns throughout the
+
+vicinity, the strange wisps of spiritual energy
+came to assault you in the process. Bypassing
+
+traps, mostly, kind of.
+
+TRAVIS: Or not at all.
+
+MATT: Completing the mystery of the strange arcane
+runes in the ceiling and the schools of magic that
+
+they seemed connected to, found your way into some
+sort of a secret study or den, where there were
+
+research tables set up, and a mostly empty
+bookshelf, braziers filled with ash to the side
+
+between pillars, two small chambers where these
+cages with tight knit bars remained, containing
+
+urns and empty nooses hanging above. These urns
+filled with ash.
+
+You began to look throughout the room. You found a
+sword across the upper ceiling, an ornamental
+
+blade of some kind. You recovered a book of notes
+and began to read through to get a feel for the
+
+person, the entity that seemed to have written
+what remained of these pages. Around this time,
+
+the wind began to pick up in the center of the
+chamber, as this darkened figure began to rise out
+
+of the stonework. This large, tattered cloak of a
+figure, spreading, whipping around like this
+
+sudden wind is tossing aside sails of a dark ship.
+This semi-skeletal ghostly face of material began
+
+to emerge from it. Its voice slowly hissing out,
+“My secrets are yours.” You saw small glows begin
+
+to emerge from the ash and to the urns nearest the
+two of you. That, my friends, is where we last
+
+left off.
+
+LAURA: That’s right. We marked our places on the
+map, where we left last time.
+
+SAM: We did? I was very intoxicated.
+
+MATT: As this thing emerges here, it doesn’t seem
+to, at the moment, make any sort of aggressive
+
+maneuver. What do you do?
+
+LIAM: Does it have any legs?
+
+MATT: Imagine a figure that is wrapped in four or
+five layers of robes, and the robes have been
+
+shredded out, all these moving tendrils of cloth
+and black shadow energy that are spinning around
+
+in places. Its center chin and body are
+stationary. The bottom half of its body seems to
+
+taper into nothingness, disappearing into cloth
+and ever-shifting and whipping material at the base.
+
+LAURA: Are you Siff?
+
+MATT: The head turns over and locks onto Jester.
+Doesn’t answer.
+
+MARISHA: He said he wants to tell us secrets or
+something. I like secrets.
+
+LAURA: Secrets are fun.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Secrets make friends.
+
+MATT: (moaning) Glides slowly in your direction.
+
+SAM: Give him something. Information, news,
+something.
+
+LAURA: I have a secret for you! Did you know that
+in Nicodranas the pastries are made with cinnamon
+
+and here they’re not?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: There’s a brief moment where the entity’s
+head, much like a young puppy confused by a
+
+rattling sound in the distance, (snapping) in
+Jester’s direction, “A secret for trade.”
+
+MARISHA: For trade, what does that mean?
+
+MATT: You know what? I’m going to pull the battle
+map.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+SAM: Cinnamon was his most hated spice!
+
+LAURA: I gave him a secret!
+
+SAM: He fucking hates cinnamon!
+
+LAURA: Oh no! I thought I was helping.
+
+ASHLEY: You were. You did great.
+
+MATT: He’s drifted up to that point there.
+
+LAURA: He’s in the teleportation circle.
+
+SAM: Ashley, even you don’t believe that.
+
+MATT: As you guys are preparing here, the whispers
+begin to slowly spill out of its face, voices
+
+spreading out. I need Jester, Yasha, and Beau to
+all make a wisdom saving throw, please.
+
+TALIESIN: My clay pot is glowing?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+LAURA: 15.
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: Both of you succeed actually.
+
+MARISHA: Tell me something cool!
+
+MATT: The secrets begin to penetrate your ears.
+You close off your consciousness and put your
+
+hands up to close the space. They don’t seem to
+penetrate your mind. Beau, however, these words
+
+start shooting into your brain. You feel for a
+moment your grasp on reality begin to slip.
+
+Suddenly, the world begins to spin. You feel
+yourself assaulted from all angles. You see
+
+flashes of ancient warfare, of giant columns of
+fire crashing from the cosmos. You spin your staff
+
+around retroactively. I need you to make an attack
+against Yasha, please.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry, boo! It’s not good, an 11.
+
+MATT: What’s your armor class?
+
+MARISHA: No sorry, ten.
+
+MATT: I’m pretty sure that doesn’t hit you.
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: You see Beau, suddenly her eyes go wide,
+swing the staff wide in your direction. You
+
+deflect it with your blade.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck you, Genghis Khan!
+
+MATT: Now I need you all to roll initiative.
+
+LAURA: I wanted to talk!
+
+MATT: The first conversation wasn’t quite what he
+was looking for.
+
+LAURA: Shit balls.
+
+ASHLEY: Dang it, maybe we can still talk.
+
+LAURA: Hey, I just made us $100, you guys.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Conflicted feelings!
+
+LIAM: The 11 herbs and spices are–
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: Nott at the top. 20 to 15?
+
+ASHLEY: 19.
+
+MATT: Ooh, Yasha!
+
+SAM: That’s the best thing you’ve ever rolled on
+initiative.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten? Oh boy.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh fuck.
+
+LAURA: Run away!
+
+MATT: Ten to five.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+LIAM: Sechs.
+
+TALIESIN: Five.
+
+MATT: Eight for Beau. Six for Caleb. Five both of
+you, Jester and Molly.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural one.
+
+LAURA: That was the weirdest, cutest hiccup I’ve
+ever heard!
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you!
+
+MATT: At this moment, Nott, you see this entity as
+it suddenly begins to emanate these whispers into
+
+the air. Your friends start all of a sudden
+grasping their faces. You see Beau try and swing
+
+at Yasha. Chaos is breaking loose. What are you
+doing?
+
+SAM: I run. I run as fast as I can.
+(screaming)
+
+MATT: Where are you going?
+
+SAM: I make a beeline for the opposite corner.
+Bonus action dash! Keep going!
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: Yeah. Behind that cage.
+
+LAURA: There’s going to be a thing that comes out
+there, I think.
+
+SAM: Oh, well, I’ll be first to kill it then. Then
+action, I will hand crossbow up and hold until I
+
+see it make an aggressive action towards one of my
+acquaintances; we’re not quite friends yet.
+
+MATT: Good to know. Yasha, your turn.
+
+ASHLEY: Are we attacking him?
+
+TRAVIS: What do you want to do?
+
+MATT: What does Yasha want to do? What is Yasha’s
+instinct?
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.
+I don’t know if he has feet.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You do not see a foot on his body, no.
+
+ASHLEY: Shit! Already off to a bad start. You
+said, “My secrets are yours.” Did you want to give
+
+us a secret?
+
+MATT: “I’ve already given you a piece. More?”
+
+LAURA: That’s what he did to Beau.
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m going to take out my sword, and
+I’m going to attack.
+
+LAURA: You got it Yasha! Take him down! It’s one
+hit!
+
+ASHLEY: What’s going on at the bottom of his–
+
+TRAVIS: What’s all this action down here?
+
+MATT: That’s a dormant runic circle that has been
+lying there. Doesn’t seem to be reacting to his
+
+presence at all.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we can activate it.
+
+ASHLEY: Shit, I don’t like going first! Okay, I’m
+going to attack with my sword.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re holding off on rage?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+MATT: You’re raging?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m raging. I would like to rage.
+
+MATT: You bonus action rage. You angrily grit your
+teeth and rush up, swinging your sword in the air.
+
+Make your attack.
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits. Roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Kill that floating dude. Maybe he just
+flies. Maybe he’s got feet and his robes cover
+
+them up.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s tucking.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: He could tuck.
+
+ASHLEY: Eight plus–
+
+MATT: Plus rage damage, ten right? Ten total? You
+rolled five, plus three for your strength, plus
+
+two for your rage. That would be a total of ten.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, ten.
+
+MATT: With which weapon is this?
+
+ASHLEY: My Moon-touched sword.
+
+MATT: Which is technically baseline magical so–
+okay.
+
+SAM: Baseline magical?
+
+MATT: Meaning it’s a very minor magical effect. As
+you strike, your blade carves through part of its
+
+body. Some of the cloth tears apart and he tries
+to grasp around the blade as you pull it free from
+
+nearby. Its face, its eyes click back towards you.
+When I say eyes, you now get a look, and it’s
+
+these vacant holes and this tightly pulled skin
+against this skeletal face. Black energy is
+
+billowing out of it like smoke is slowly pouring
+out of the sockets. That’s your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, that’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Now, out of the side cages, these glows all
+begin to emerge as four more of these wisp
+
+entities you had previously encountered in the
+chamber begin to shift through the cages towards
+
+the nearest source of life. This one’s going to go
+towards Nott. This one’s going to stay right there
+
+with Molly. This one’s going to go after Fjord as
+well as this one there. On that note, against Nott
+
+the attack is a seven. That is a low roll; I do
+not think that hits you. As you see it emerge, you
+
+freak out as it swings by and ducks into the wall
+briefly before re-emerging, shifting through the
+
+actual stone. Against Molly– another seven.
+
+TALIESIN: Ha ha!
+
+MATT: Two threes in a row. Two against you Fjord.
+That’s better. That’s a 20.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: The two of them begin to hit you from both
+sides. You’re not quite sure how to defend. One of
+
+them seems like it’s about to sweep at you. You go
+to deflect it as the other one slaps into the back
+
+of your head as you feel this shock energy hit you
+in the base of the skull. Your eyes go white for a
+
+second. You take 11– oh no sorry, I rolled the
+wrong dice for that one. You take five points of
+
+lightning damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Excellent. He takes ten points of ice
+damage, or frozen damage or whatever.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: Fro-yo damage!
+
+MATT: You see the ice crystals coalesce around the
+outside, not doing quite as much damage as you
+
+would have expected.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, from hitting my frozen porcupine
+armor? That’s not great.
+
+MATT: The other one’s going to try and use that
+moment to swing at you and rob you of a little
+
+more life force. That is going to be a 12. What is
+your armor class?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh that misses, 15.
+
+MATT: Miss then. Just swings past you. The orbs
+now are glowing and sparking, preparing for the
+
+next round of assault.
+
+MARISHA: This is all the notes from what we
+learned about Siff Duthar.
+
+MATT: The next is going to be the entity in the
+center.
+
+MARISHA: I think he is a being of fire and ice, so
+I bet he’s immune to fire and ice.
+
+MATT: The entity is going to use its Howling
+Babble ability. Every creature within 30 feet of
+
+it that can hear it has to make a wisdom saving
+throw, so that’s all of you guys.
+
+SAM: Me too?
+
+LAURA: Can you hear it?
+
+MATT: (counting) You’re just 30 feet outside of
+it.
+
+SAM: When it does this, do I release my arrow?
+
+MATT: You would, yes.
+
+SAM: Okay, I will release my arrow bolt. That’s
+not good, 14?
+
+MATT: 14 hits. Roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+SAM: What do I get, 3d6 right? One for the hit and
+then– that’s 18 points of damage, but it is not a
+
+magical weapon.
+
+MATT: It is not, so it is less affected by the
+wound as it strikes through its body. You see it
+
+tear through some of the material and part of the
+matter. The energy disperses the moment of impact.
+
+It damaged it, but something about it being
+between the planes and its essence is making it
+
+not as effectively damageable with regular
+weaponry.
+
+SAM: Hoo boy. What save were we making?
+
+MATT: That would be the wisdom save.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MARISHA: Natural one?
+
+LIAM: 14.
+
+SAM: Natural one.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: Really?
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+TALIESIN: 25.
+
+ASHLEY: Eight!
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: We’re in so much trouble!
+
+ASHLEY: Guys, we’re doing fine.
+
+MATT: Beau, Jester, Yasha, and Nott. As this faint
+energy begins to disperse throughout the chamber,
+
+you hear thousands of voices trying to whisper
+into your ears simultaneously. They’re not making
+
+sense, and as they weave, your whole body begins
+to go catatonic. Your muscles tense and you fall
+
+to your knees. You’re all paralyzed until the end
+of your next turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no! We’re in big trouble, you guys.
+
+MATT: It’s going to fly up and back.
+
+LAURA: Wait, I have a question. When we’re
+paralyzed, does that mean every attack against us
+
+is a critical?
+
+MATT: Every melee is, if it hits. That ends its
+turn. That brings us to Beau. You’re paralyzed, so
+
+at the end of your turn it fades. Sorry, not
+paralyzed, stunned. It’s not paralyzed. It’s stunned.
+
+MARISHA: Stunned.
+
+MATT: Correct. It is not– I had to read–
+
+MARISHA: What can I do?
+
+MATT: Stunned means you can’t really do anything
+this turn, but half make a sentence. You’re aware
+
+of your surroundings but you can’t take actions or
+move. At the end of your turn, it wears off.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to be like: The fire and ice
+from the book and the lost sword and all that
+
+shit, remember?
+
+MATT: That ends Beau’s turn?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Seeing how terrible everything is around me
+I stick a quivering hand into my pocket and pull
+
+out a little copper wire. I learned how to do this
+from Nott. I cup it in my hands, and I cast
+
+Message to the thing. I’m going to text you what
+I’m– only it can hear me and I’m sending it to you.
+
+SAM: Digital whispers!
+
+LIAM: While backing against the wall behind me.
+
+MATT: You back up against the wall there. That
+ends your turn, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I will send Frumpkin skittering down by
+Yasha’s feet.
+
+MATT: Jester and Molly. Jester, you are no longer
+stunned. That is your turn.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m done.
+
+MATT: Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and break the pot in
+through the cage. I’m going to take a swipe at the
+
+pot through the cage with my sword.
+
+MATT: Okay. The cage, because the slits are very
+small, you cannot get your full hand in there, so
+
+with the blade there you might be able to get it,
+so make an attack roll with disadvantage.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine?
+
+MATT: Just misses. You strike the outside of it,
+but the blow– you watch as the urn (rocking in place).
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to swing around and try to get
+another shot.
+
+MATT: You pull it out and jab once more towards
+it.
+
+TALIESIN: Stop doing that! You’ll get everyone
+drunk. Even worse. That’s actually a natural one.
+
+LAURA: They’re making so much money tonight!
+
+MATT: Apparently.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s already $500.
+
+MATT: As your blades are getting caught in the
+cage and try to pull it out, the large wisp is
+
+slowly pushing towards your body.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run towards– I’m in combat
+with it. It gets an attack of opportunity if I
+
+run, doesn’t it? I’m going to steady myself and
+prepare for another attack.
+
+MATT: Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: Nott, deal with this!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to cast Eldritch Blast into the
+pot in the bottom of the cage.
+
+MATT: Okay, with disadvantage because you’re
+aiming through the smaller space. It actually has
+
+cover. It’s largely just a small space you’re
+shooting through.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not going to hit, that’s a three
+plus– 11.
+
+MATT: 11 does hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh does it? Wait I added that wrong; hold
+on. (stuttering) I’m pretty sure I added that wrong.
+
+LIAM: (Porky Pig stuttering)
+
+MATT: Your spell attack modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah no, that’s only a nine.
+
+MATT: Yeah that doesn’t hit, unfortunately. You’re
+trying to shoot the remainder and manage to hit
+
+the bar, and the bar bends back a little bit from
+the impact of the blast. However, it’s not
+
+actually hitting the urn on the inside.
+
+TRAVIS: Great, cool, awesome. Can I run? Can I use
+my speed– are they both in melee range?
+
+MATT: Yes, they are.
+
+TRAVIS: (high pitched laugh) Okay.
+I’ll stay right where I am, then.
+
+MATT: All right, Fjord. Top of the round again.
+Nott, you manage to (grunt) shrug off the stun,
+
+but that’s the end of your turn.
+
+SAM: Oh, great. I’m sorry I couldn’t help.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you shrug off the stun. That’s the
+end of your turn. All right.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Ah fuck.
+
+MATT: With that, all the wisps begin to close in
+once more on their targets. Molly, that’s a 23.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a number. Yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: You take six points of lightning damage as
+it shocks you from the side, again. The other one
+
+striking against you, Nott. That is going to be a
+15 to hit.
+
+SAM: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 armor class! You manage to duck out of
+the way of this one as well. This one is beginning
+
+to flicker angrily, as it can’t seem to grasp and
+tear any sort of life force from you with shock.
+
+SAM: No, get away!
+
+MATT: Two against you Fjord. That is a ten, six
+plus four.
+
+TRAVIS: Misses.
+
+MATT: Misses. The other one is a 16.
+
+TRAVIS: (stuttering) That hits.
+
+MATT: That’s five points of lightning damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Ten points of cold damage to that
+particular wispy bastard.
+
+MATT: Which it takes a reduced amount. That ends
+their turn. Now we’ll see if the Howling Babble–
+
+It does not regenerate that ability. It does not
+recharge it. Now as the spectral entity begins to
+
+fly back towards this side, it’s going to shift
+over in this direction. We’re going to say that
+
+it’s gliding up near this pillar here. It’s about
+20 feet up, right by where the ceiling is, and
+
+it’s glaring down at everybody.
+
+SAM: He doesn’t make an attack or anything?
+
+LAURA: He’s about to.
+
+SAM: Oh shit, oh man.
+
+MATT: It’s going to go ahead and use– Actually,
+it’s not, because you’re all too far away.
+
+Instead, it’s going to coast down towards the one
+that struck at it last turn. Rush right there.
+
+LAURA: Are his robes floating around him all cool
+like a Nazgûl?
+
+MATT: Between that and a Deathly Hallow look, but
+even more intense. Like an epic Deathly Hallow.
+
+It’s going to go ahead and attempt a Maddening
+Touch against you, Yasha.
+
+SAM: She’s already raging. She’s mad.
+
+MATT: That is a 16 to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. You suffer– that’s actually a
+really shitty roll for him. Nine points of psychic damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Hmm, that’s a shitty roll.
+
+MATT: Plus three. Sorry, 12 points of psychic
+damage.
+
+LAURA: That’s a less shitty roll.
+
+MATT: Then it’s going to go ahead and attempt to
+fly back up into where it was, in the ceiling
+
+after it makes its strike.
+
+LAURA: All I’m hearing in my head is Careless
+Whisper now.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you get an attack of opportunity?
+
+TRAVIS: Doesn’t she have Sentinel?
+
+MATT: Oh you would get an attack of opportunity
+against it.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, Sentinel!
+
+MATT: That’s right, Sentinel feat! Oh, this might
+fuck it up. As it comes down and strikes at you,
+
+you feel this burst of maddening intent shower
+into your head. It sparks your brain with this
+
+horrible searing pain. You guys watch as Yasha
+screams out and begins to withdraw. With that, she
+
+all of a sudden clicks back into reality and
+swings wide with the sword. What did you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Which means he can’t move. The Sentinel feat
+prevents him from moving.
+
+TRAVIS: Boom! Speed is zero.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I also add Divine Fury on–
+
+MATT: Yes, you may. Could have done that last
+round, too, but forgot.
+
+ASHLEY: I know.
+
+SAM: Shut up, Matt.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Plus five, for your strength and rage.
+
+ASHLEY: (counting) Plus what?
+
+TRAVIS: Plus five.
+
+MATT: Yeah, with your rage, it’s whatever you
+rolled plus five and then plus half your level.
+
+Plus seven, technically.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, wow.
+
+ASHLEY: 11.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that a divine thing?
+
+ASHLEY: Whoa, what’s happening in my brain? 13.
+Plus seven you said? 20.
+
+MATT: 20 points of– oh man that’s nasty. As it
+tries to pull away, you click back into reality
+
+and swing wide with your sword. As you do, you cut
+right through the center of its body, out the
+
+other end. You watch as the robe splinters open.
+You see this glowing pulse of dark energy in the
+
+center. As it (guttural wail) it has to fight to
+reform, its semi-corporeal form. It looks like
+
+it’s hurt pretty bad.
+
+SAM: Oh man. Nice.
+
+MATT: Yasha, that ends your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: That was my attack of opportunity.
+
+MATT: Oh that’s right! It was an attack of
+opportunity. Sorry, that was the creature’s turn.
+
+Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to– I’m good, right? I’m
+going to run up and pull out that holy water that
+
+I didn’t use before. I’m going to parkour off of
+Yasha’s shoulder and spike it right at his feet.
+
+MATT: All righty, go ahead and roll your ranged
+attack. d20 plus your proficiency.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I don’t know if that’s good, 16.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll 2d6.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll make my body all strong.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+MATT: It takes eight points of radiant damage as
+it splashes on its form. The flames suddenly begin
+
+to ignite across the front of its cloaked
+exterior. Because holy flames are licking up the
+
+side of it and burning and it’s (rasping cry).
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I still have my opportunity attack?
+I mean my– Sorry, my secondary attack.
+
+MATT: It’s a ranged attack roll. I’ll say sure.
+Usually you get the bonus on a punch. You have to
+
+move up to do it though.
+
+MARISHA: I did move up. I said I ran up next to
+Yasha and spiked it. I parkoured off her
+
+shoulders, spiked it.
+
+MATT: Sure. Good call.
+
+MARISHA: I want to do flurry of blows.
+
+MATT: Two more punch attacks or unarmed.
+
+MARISHA: 19 and 15 to hit.
+
+MATT: Both of those hit.
+
+MARISHA: That is an additional six– Sorry, 12
+damage.
+
+MATT: 12 damage. You rush up off the shoulder
+after slamming it against the ground. You come up
+
+with a punch and an uppercut from underneath. As
+your fists impact, it’s like punching through
+
+heavy, cold cloth. You feel like almost you’re
+punching nothing as you do. While you’re
+
+impacting, you’re not sure how much damage it’s
+doing. (whoosh)
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s fair.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Beau. Caleb, you’re
+up.
+
+LIAM: I didn’t see any difference in it when I did
+what I did, ja?
+
+MATT: You didn’t seem to notice anything.
+
+LIAM: How close could I get to it, if I wanted to
+walk straight at it?
+
+MATT: You could get right up to it.
+
+LIAM: Right up to it. Could I get right behind–
+No, I’ll get right up to it, ja.
+
+MATT: All right. You can get right there.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. I’m going to cast Burning Hands,
+veered away so that it does not touch Yasha. It
+
+has to make a dexterity saving throw.
+
+MATT: It’s a 15 foot cone, correct?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: You can, from the edge of where you’d be
+would be there, you can technically– No, it would
+
+not quite hit that, but you can hit the creature.
+
+LIAM: Ja, the creature is fine.
+
+MATT: It makes its save. That is a seven.
+
+LIAM: It’s 3d6, halved.
+
+MATT: What’s up?
+
+LIAM: Did it make it?
+
+MATT: It rolled a seven on its DC, so no.
+
+LIAM: Oh, no. It did not make it. It takes 11
+points.
+
+MATT: 11, okay. Half of that. The fire doesn’t
+seem to have as much impact. Largely because of
+
+its ghostly form, most things it seems to be
+resistant towards, but it’s still taking damage as
+
+you’re doing this. Now it’s being flanked from all
+of you guys. That ends Caleb’s turn. Jester,
+
+Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Pots, people, pots?
+
+LAURA: I mean, we should take those out too.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m useless on the pots. I’m actually
+going to try and make a book for the cloaked guy.
+
+I’m going to yelling at everyone: Hit the pots!
+Hit the bloody pots!
+
+MATT: (counting) You have to get over here to–
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: Who has that sword we pulled off?
+
+LIAM: Jester.
+
+MATT: First off, the will-o’-wisp makes a strike
+at you, attack of opportunity.
+
+MARISHA: I bet he wants his sword back.
+
+MATT: 18.
+
+TALIESIN: That hits.
+
+MATT: As you rush past, 16 points of lightning
+damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, really!?
+
+MATT: I rolled double eights on d8s. The
+will-o’-wisp suddenly, as you try to rush, it
+
+actually darts in front of you. You run towards
+it, and it actually passes through your entire
+
+torso. As it does, shocking your lungs and heart,
+and for a second your heart doesn’t beat. Then
+
+kicks back in. Your whole body feels cold, but you
+keep running. You push past Caleb and get right up
+
+next to the creature.
+
+TRAVIS: Need a defib.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Pots, people. I’m going to take
+two strikes with the radiant swords. That’s a 15
+
+to hit.
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+TALIESIN: An eight to hit.
+
+MATT: Eight does not hit, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, that’s all right.
+
+MATT: The pain is too strong on one strike and you
+go wide, but you turn around and all of a sudden
+
+there’s a moment of clarity. As the pain clicks
+in, you clench your jaw and swing back, striking true.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it do extra radiant damage? I mean,
+because I do an extra bonus radiant damage, if it
+
+takes it.
+
+MATT: You do the extra three anyway, because it’s
+undead.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, so yeah. That’s (counting) 11 points
+of radiant damage.
+
+MATT: How much is the sword? How much is the
+radiant?
+
+TALIESIN: Six is radiant, and the rest is the
+sword.
+
+MATT: Five, all right, cool. It takes less damage
+from the swords, but the radiant does go through.
+
+It’s looking pretty beat up at this point now.
+Between the different attacks you’ve done it’s
+
+starting to freak out now. It’s trying to figure
+out how best to deal with its situation. That ends
+
+your turn, Molly; Jester, what are you doing?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to pull out my symbol of the
+Traveler, and I’m going to say: Okay, I hope
+
+you’re with me right now, because I really need
+your help! I’m going to try to Turn Undead.
+
+MATT: From where you’re standing?
+
+LAURA: No, I’m going to jump up behind Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: You dart over this direction. What’s the
+radius on that, 30 feet?
+
+LAURA: 30 feet.
+
+MATT: That’ll catch all three of those and the
+guy. Was it wisdom saves against your spell DC?
+
+LAURA: Wisdom save, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t really like my position right
+now.
+
+MATT: No, you’re in a bad place.
+
+LAURA: It has to make a wisdom saving throw, yes.
+
+MATT: Far end will-o’-wisp right there, that would
+be a six. No. That one, nope. That one over there
+
+is going to attempt as well. That’s a nine. No, so
+that one is also turned. The one over there is
+
+fleeing. That is going to be a 16. That does
+succeed?
+
+LAURA: 16 succeeds.
+
+MATT: The main guy, natural 20. These two wisps
+now are slightly– you rush up, and you pray for a
+
+second and hope. You know this inspiration hits
+you. As you clasp the symbol, suddenly the strange
+
+little archway on the top of the symbol begins to
+glow. There’s this large burst of deep blue energy
+
+that radiates outward. As it strikes, it washes
+over the main creature with no effect. As it hits
+
+the two other side will-o’-wisps, both of them
+shiver and begin to shift away. Looking like
+
+they’re actually running in fear, as fast as they
+can from Jester, in the center. That’s your action.
+
+LAURA: That’s my action, and for my bonus action,
+I’m going to cast Sanctuary on– who’s the lowest?
+
+SAM: (whispering) You.
+
+LAURA: On myself.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Aw, that was so considerate.
+
+MATT: Not too bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s the lowest? Blood coming out of her
+mouth.
+
+SAM: (as Jester) I’m trying to be a good healer,
+but me.
+
+MATT: Fair enough. You have Sanctuary on you right
+now. Jester, that ends your turn. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, well this is a bitch, ain’t it. I’m
+going to try Eldritch Blast again at the pot,
+
+through the cage. At disadvantage, because I got
+to take one of those out of the picture somehow.
+
+Oh, I think that might work, 14.
+
+MATT: 14 hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Outstanding. That is a big plus for me.
+Ten plus four, 14!
+
+MATT: With that, that one pot shatters. The ash
+explodes in a small cloud, pushing on the side of
+
+the wall behind the cage. That one wisp next to
+you flitters out of existence.
+
+TRAVIS: With my bonus action, can I move my Hex
+onto el shadow figure?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+TRAVIS: Disadvantage on wisdom saving throws.
+
+MATT: Oh, wisdom ability checks, not saving
+throws.
+
+TRAVIS: Wisdom ability checks, thank you.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage on wisdom ability checks. That
+ends your turn Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: There’s four pots? Now there’s three. Can I
+see any of them from where–
+
+MATT: You can. Inside the cage you can see one
+there, and you assume there’s one in there because
+
+you saw Molly going towards it.
+
+SAM: I will shoot one of the pots with my hand
+crossbow.
+
+MATT: Which you can do without disadvantage,
+because of your feat.
+
+SAM: Yeah, a lot, 22.
+
+MATT: Well you still have disadvantage to try and
+fire at it, because it’s in the cage. Sorry, I
+
+just realized. It’s in the cage.
+
+TALIESIN: Doesn’t he have crossbow advantage?
+
+MATT: That’s for melee stuff. This is it being
+covered, and you’re aiming through these tiny
+
+holes as you’re firing at it.
+
+SAM: It has half-cover or something?
+
+MATT: Well essentially. Yeah, I’d say at this
+close it has three-quarters cover. It’s a plus
+
+five to its AC. What did you roll?
+
+SAM: The first roll was 22.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it hits. We’ll say it hits, because
+you’re right up against it with a crossbow. You’re
+
+not having to aim in with it. You’re (bolt
+flying). Roll the damage.
+
+SAM: Six points of damage.
+
+MATT: Six is enough. The pots aren’t very strong;
+it’s just hard to touch (shattering). That
+
+will-o’-wisp manages to discorporate next to you.
+
+SAM: Eight is Enough. I’ll skitter around towards
+the candelabra over there, and as I go I’ll (cocks
+
+crossbow) and fire another shot at the other pot.
+
+MATT: Okay, that one you do have disadvantage on
+as you’re farther away from it.
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MATT: 19 still hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Sharpshooter!
+
+SAM: That one’s seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: That pot shatters.
+
+SAM: No look.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to be all right, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s cool. There’s actually one wisp
+actually next to somebody. Thank you.
+
+SAM: Oh. Whoops!
+
+LAURA: It was also the only wisp that wasn’t
+affected by the Turn Undead. Where did that
+
+confetti come from?
+
+MATT: That was left over from your welcome party.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I missed your welcome party.
+
+MATT: Yasha, it’s your turn.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay! I’m going to attack him again.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: Carve this turkey.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes! 19.
+
+MATT: That hits; roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Are you going to do your thing?
+
+ASHLEY: All the stuffs?
+
+LAURA: All the stuff.
+
+SAM: Rage! Reckless! Endangerment! Diviney!
+
+LAURA: That’s a good name for it.
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: 14. As you swing past with the sword and arc
+upward, you cut through and its cloak cannot hold
+
+back together. There’s now this giant opening
+where this vacuous, cold heartbeat glows, visible
+
+from the inside, and its body is flickering,
+having a hard time keeping itself together on this
+
+side of reality. Does this end your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. The little interior bit, what is it
+again?
+
+MATT: You see this dull, blue glow that’s now
+visible from where you struck through it. It looks
+
+like it’s falling apart.
+
+LAURA: (shouting) Steal his heart! Take his
+heart!
+
+MATT: Yasha, that ends your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Can I punch it?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, no. You’ve already used your
+action. That’s what a monk does. Just a little flick–
+
+ASHLEY: All done.
+
+MATT: That ends Yasha’s turn. Now the one wisp
+that’s by you is going to shift through the wall
+
+onto this side and is going to make a strike at
+you, Fjord. That is a 16 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: That is 12 points of lightning damage to
+you.
+
+TRAVIS: Whoa, that was a big one. Shit, okay.
+
+MATT: As it shocks through you, and you fall to
+one knee for a moment. It’s going to shift into
+
+that pillar and vanish. You do get an attack of
+opportunity on it as it leaves your range.
+
+TRAVIS: Disadvantage, or regular?
+
+MATT: Regular.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: 14 does not hit. You go to strike, and
+unfortunately it just makes it into the pillar and
+
+you hit stone and sparks off of it. It does take
+one point of force damage from spending its turn
+
+inside the wall. Now it is the entity’s turn. It
+is going to attempt– we’ll see if its Howling
+
+Babble returns. It gets its Howling Babble back.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re all right here.
+
+MATT: Oh, man, I forgot that. I need all of you to
+roll a wisdom saving throw, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Does that affect his wisdom ability
+checks? The Hex?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20!
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil.
+
+TRAVIS: 18.
+
+MARISHA: Ow, five.
+
+SAM: 11. Is his regeneration an ability check?
+
+MATT: No, there’s no check for it. Beau, Nott–
+
+LAURA: Wait, don’t you have to make a wisdom
+saving throw against my Sanctuary? Because you did
+
+a harmful spell against me, right?
+
+MATT: Let me look at the–
+
+SAM: “Any creature who targets the warded creature
+with an attack must first make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: It’s not technically targeting the creature,
+you’re just in the radius of what’s happening.
+
+SAM: “The spell doesn’t protect the warded
+creature from area effects.”
+
+MATT: Unfortunately. What’d you roll?
+
+LAURA: I didn’t roll anything yet.
+
+MATT: Well, now you get to roll.
+
+LAURA: Ten.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a four.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+ASHLEY: I was trying to see it as a positive
+thing.
+
+MATT: First off, all of you guys who failed your
+saving throw: Beau, Yasha, Jester, and Nott, you
+
+all suffer 14 points of psychic damage and you are
+stunned until the end of your next turn.
+
+TRAVIS: That thing is a bitch.
+
+MATT: Jester’s unconscious.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got one more with your name on it,
+sweet cheeks.
+
+ASHLEY: Three hit points, guys. I’ve got three hit
+points.
+
+MATT: It’s going to attempt to slip into the
+floor.
+
+TALIESIN: I get an attack of opportunity?
+
+MATT: You and Caleb both get an attack of
+opportunity, physically.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I?
+
+MATT: You’re stunned.
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck!
+
+MATT: As it begins to shift into the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: That hits; that’s 20. That’s five points
+of normal damage and five points of radiant damage.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: I want to swing and pin the heart to the
+ground and leave the blade there.
+
+MATT: As it tries to shift downward, Molly,
+pulling back from the screams and strange howling
+
+babble emanating from its body, you swing wide,
+spinning the blade in the air, and jam down on top
+
+of its form. As you do, it disperses, like an
+explosion of wind from the center. You watch the
+
+cloth of its body suddenly scatter, like someone
+had blown a heavy wind into a stack of loose cloth
+
+that all eventually turns into ash and vanishes.
+There, you see a dull blue glow where the sword is
+
+grinding against the stone, before that eventually
+dissipates into nothingness.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, ghostslayer!
+
+TALIESIN: Last pot!
+
+ASHLEY: Good job, Molly.
+
+MATT: Beau, your stun wears off.
+
+MARISHA: That guy knew way too much about
+everything.
+
+MATT: Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Can I see that last pot from where I am?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that is a 13.
+
+MATT: 13? Glancing about in the area, with
+torchlight from Yasha, you can see one visible pot
+
+that has not been shattered in that cage.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I will send a little Firebolt off and
+try to strike it. It’s at disadvantage, correct?
+
+Okay, that’s very bad. Also very bad. That’s a
+ten.
+
+MATT: A ten just barely misses. You attempt to
+strike through, and it smashes against the wrought
+
+iron gate on the outside and disperses against
+it.
+
+LIAM: Ja, I will walk toward it to get closer,
+as much as I can.
+
+MATT: You can get right up to it if you want to.
+
+LIAM: I should have done that first, ja?
+
+MATT: That brings us to Jester and Molly.
+
+LAURA: I’m unconscious.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run over to you and put a
+healing–
+
+LAURA: Don’t waste a healing potion on me!
+
+SAM: What else are we going to do? We can’t heal!
+
+MATT: You can’t say anything. You’re unconscious.
+
+TRAVIS: You hush your mouth.
+
+LAURA: I have healing packs in my bag!
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t care. I don’t know any of that.
+That’s a healing potion.
+
+LAURA: I have doughnuts.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go looking for one in one
+second. Potion of healing, just a standard 2d4+2.
+
+So take six points of heal, you’re stabilized.
+
+LAURA: (gasping) Molly!
+
+TALIESIN: Back up, come on!
+
+LAURA: This is a bad day, you guys. Today is
+really hard.
+
+MATT: Jester’s now conscious.
+
+TALIESIN: I also, definitely lost my two swords
+now, so those are off.
+
+MARISHA: Lost them?
+
+TALIESIN: The swords are not glowing anymore.
+
+MATT: You stopped their effect?
+
+TALIESIN: I had to feed a healing potion. I had
+two going, so I needed hands.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Jester’s turn, as you come
+to consciousness, since you guys are on the same initiative.
+
+TALIESIN: You can do something, if you like. Pot!
+Pot!
+
+LAURA: I guess I’ll walk over and try to take out
+the pot.
+
+MATT: That’s half your movement to get up, and
+then five, ten, 15, that’s as far as you get.
+
+LAURA: Can I try to throw something at it?
+
+MATT: What do you have to throw?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I don’t think I have anything that
+will fit through that little hole– I could try
+
+picking up a rock on the ground and throwing it at
+it.
+
+MATT: You can make an investigation check to try
+and find a rock on the ground.
+
+LAURA: I probably don’t see one. If I did, it
+would take a whole lot of time!
+
+MATT: Well, you took your action searching the
+ground.
+
+LAURA: Three!
+
+MATT: You do not find a rock. You spend the better
+part of six seconds going, “Wait! Ah, no it’s a
+
+piece of black cloth, shit!” No actual stone,
+unfortunately. Sorry, Jester.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s fine.
+
+MATT: Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll spin around and try and Eldritch
+Blast that last pot in the other cage. At
+
+disadvantage. That’s a 19!
+
+MATT: That hits! Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: I just woke up, you guys!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s 11 points of damage!
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage, nice! With that, that
+pot shatters, and you see this flicker in the
+
+stone column behind as the energy of the wisp
+flares out from the side.
+
+TRAVIS: Got him.
+
+LAURA: Good job.
+
+MATT: Nott, Yasha, you guys doing anything?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m still stunned?
+
+MATT: No, actually your stun has worn off. Nott,
+you doing anything? Oh! You’re stunned as well.
+
+Your stun now wears off. As you guys finish
+shaking off the energy, this cold energy begins to
+
+emerge from the far wall, through the bookcase.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! He’s back? Okay, we run away.
+
+MATT: The same entity comes through the bookcase,
+like it’s emerging from something behind.
+
+LAURA: Grab his heart and run. From the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: There was no heart on the ground
+
+MATT: As you struck it, the energy dispersed.
+
+LAURA: Let’s run away.
+
+ASHLEY: What if we have to get it with the sword?
+
+LAURA: It’s a two-handed weapon. I can’t do it.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha can, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Why? You’re strong! You can do it.
+
+LAURA: I can’t use two-handed weapons.
+
+MATT: As you guys watch it push out of the wall,
+(gasping sound) making its way there.
+
+MARISHA: Wait! Maybe if we show it the sword,
+he’ll chill out.
+
+MATT: Caleb, make an intelligence check. You make
+a religion check with advantage, because you have undead.
+
+LIAM: Just a straight intelligence?
+
+MATT: Straight intelligence modifier.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+MATT: After reading through the notes and going
+through the book, you recall that a lot of the
+
+magic in here entails binding the soul to the
+remains of the physical form, as you’ve seen with
+
+all of the wisps. It is a similar return of the
+entity you just fought.
+
+LAURA: Oh, his body’s somewhere!
+
+MARISHA: Where’s that corkscrew thing?
+
+MATT: On its turn, it’s going to attempt– first,
+let’s see if it gets its Howling Babble back. It
+
+does not; it’s a one. So it’s going to try
+Whispers of Madness again. I need only Yasha and
+
+Beau, actually. Everyone else is spread out. Yasha
+and Beau, I need you both to make a wisdom saving
+
+throw as the whispers now begin to emanate from
+its mouth.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s coming from the bookcase.
+
+MARISHA: That’s better, 16?
+
+MATT: You watched it emerge through the bookcase.
+16? Okay, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven, so Beau–
+
+MARISHA: Wait, we have the book that we found in
+the research center.
+
+MATT: Beau, you resist the whispers and close your
+eyes, and as you come up to try to make this
+
+point, next thing you see is Yasha looking at you
+and (swoosh) down with your sword. Make an attack
+
+against Beau.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, shit.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I see this?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to quickly cast before this
+goes– I don’t know.
+
+MATT: Well, no, you got it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to cast one level–
+
+MATT: Your vision, as this happens, all of a
+sudden goes black. You watch as this dark blood
+
+pools at the corners of Yasha’s face, as you go
+blind from his blood maledict. So roll with
+
+disadvantage on the attack.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah! Disadvantage would mean it was–?
+
+MATT: Lowest one.
+
+ASHLEY: The lowest number, okay. I didn’t know if
+it– okay, three. Oh, sorry, five. Six!
+
+MATT: You see it just in time and bat it out of
+the way. It hits the stone next to you. You do
+
+suffer 11 points of psychic damage, however.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m unconscious?
+
+MATT: You watch as she swings at you, and the
+impact, as you parry it, Yasha goes down with the
+
+blade swing, onto the ground.
+
+SAM: Did you just kill her?
+
+TALIESIN: Nope.
+
+ASHLEY: I do have, hold on– I thought I had
+something.
+
+MATT: There’s an ability you get at later levels
+that does something in this scenario.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not now?
+
+MATT: Don’t think you have something for that
+right now. I could be wrong.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m unconscious.
+
+MATT: I’ll double check just to be safe.
+
+LIAM: The book said the soul is bound to the flesh
+be it in any form, ice or ash, but the ash in the
+
+pots was the will-o’-wisp.
+
+MARISHA: It says, “From ashes I shall rise
+again.”
+
+LAURA: Maybe there’s something behind the
+bookcase?
+
+SAM: Let’s go look!
+
+MATT: That ends the creature’s turn. As that
+happens, it’s going to lift up and vanish into the
+
+ceiling. You watch it disappear out of place. It
+does take force damage for being in the wall.
+
+That’s actually a good roll, six force damage to
+it. You have the divine energy, path zealot, and
+
+your soul is marked for battle– the only ability
+you have now is the warrior of the gods. You don’t
+
+have the other one yet.
+
+ASHLEY: Right, okay.
+
+MATT: That finishes its turn. Beau, you’re up. You
+watch Yasha slam on the ground, unconscious next
+
+to you, the blade clattering to the ground and
+coming to rest. The creature lifts up (wheezing)
+
+and vanishes into the stone above you.
+
+MARISHA: I can’t get a reaction from it, as it
+goes?
+
+MATT: It was not close enough to you,
+unfortunately.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. I’m going to run over to this
+bookcase and put my staff behind it to see if I
+
+can knock it over.
+
+MATT: You get the staff on the fulcrum. Go ahead
+and make an athletics check to force it.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on! (singing) Get it, girl. Get it,
+get it, girl.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck! That keeps happening! Six.
+
+MATT: You try and (grunt) and it’s starting to
+rock, but it’s heavy. You start pushing. You can’t
+
+quite get the bookcase to come over,
+unfortunately. That ends your turn?
+
+MARISHA: I guess so.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I am going to start moving towards the
+middle, towards Yasha. I don’t have any healer’s
+
+kit or anything. I don’t know how to do anything
+like that.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s okay. Get the bookcase.
+
+SAM: You’re going to die!
+
+LIAM: I’m going to hold my attack, a Fire Bolt.
+Can I do that? I am a wizard for the first time.
+
+Can I hold a Fire Bolt?
+
+MATT: You can hold it as an action. You’re casting
+the spell. Then whenever something triggers it,
+
+you release it.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, when it appears.
+
+LAURA: It’s immune to fire.
+
+LIAM: We don’t know that.
+
+MATT: It seemed to take damage, though lesser,
+when you hit it.
+
+LIAM: Resistant to fire. There’s nothing else I
+can do from where I am.
+
+LAURA: Can you catch fire to the bookcase?
+
+LIAM: I don’t want to burn the room around us.
+
+MATT: Jester, Molly?
+
+LAURA: Should I try to heal Yasha, or move the
+bookcase? I’m the strong one.
+
+TALIESIN: Move the bookcase.
+
+LIAM: If I set it on fire, someone will still have
+to pull it anyway. It’s not like it’s going to disintegrate.
+
+LAURA: I can use my last spell. I have a 2nd-level
+spell. I’m going to, bonus action, use Healing
+
+Word at 2nd-level on Yasha to bring her back, and
+then I’m going to run over and try to crash the
+
+bookcase down.
+
+MATT: You go ahead and expend your bonus action.
+Roll for that. 2d4 plus your Wisdom modifier.
+
+LAURA: Six plus four. Ten!
+
+MATT: You heal ten hit points. Yasha, you come to
+consciousness on the ground. Your weapon is about
+
+two feet from your grasp. The first thing you do,
+your eyes shoot open and then shoot to your
+
+weapon. Natural instinct to defend yourself. It’s
+easily within your grasp. You just have to get up
+
+to grab it.
+
+LAURA: Can I get all the way over to the
+bookcase?
+
+MATT: (counting) 30. You get right to the
+bookcase.
+
+LAURA: I try to yank it over.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: Can I give her some assistance?
+
+MATT: That would be your action to do so; you’ve
+already tried. The DC is going down as you both
+
+are working on it.
+
+LAURA: 16.
+
+MATT: As you grab and reach around the side with
+Beau, you pull on the bookcase. (creaking) You
+
+step back quickly as it slams onto the ground.
+
+LAURA: Is there anything behind it?
+
+MATT: Right behind it there’s a small pocket where
+the stone seems to have crumbled a bit. It looks
+
+like a dark space on the inside.
+
+SAM: How small?
+
+MATT: It’s about that wide on the wall.
+
+SAM: What’s in there?
+
+LAURA: I bet its remains are in there! Kill it!
+
+MATT: All right, does that end your turn, Jester?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think I can do anything else.
+
+MATT: That’s all you’ve got. Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run over to it and start
+taking slices at it. I’m going to stab it with my sword.
+
+MATT: You have darkvision, so as both you and
+Jester glance inside, you can see there is a small
+
+five foot by five foot chamber inside, where there
+are a number of pots and small cases. It was a
+
+small burial chamber of some kind. There in the
+center, you see this large urn, about a foot and a
+
+half wide, squat, a dull gray color. You have no
+color depth in this darkness, unfortunately, with
+
+your darkvision, but it’s this very squat,
+well-made vase or urn of some kind.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. Two shots.
+
+MATT: You’re having to put your arm through and
+swing towards it, so disadvantage on each strike.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. First one is 13 to hit.
+
+MATT: 13 just barely hits, but it’s a hardy urn.
+We’ll see how much damage you deal.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. You make impact, and
+you see a part of it crack from the blow, but it’s
+
+not enough to shatter it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking another swing.
+
+MATT: As you pull it out and jam the other arm in
+to go for a straight strike with your scimitar.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 17 to hit.
+
+MATT: 17 hits. Roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s five points of damage.
+
+MATT: As you reach through, you feel the urn break
+beneath the blow. There’s this moment of silence
+
+as you hear this (low gasp) dully filter out. The
+entity slowly shifts from the ceiling as you watch
+
+it disintegrate. Not vanishing like it did before,
+but slowly dissipating. Its form suddenly goes
+
+from extremely menacing to almost sad, as you
+watch it turn to nothingness.
+
+LIAM: Poofs out into a doughnut as a Fire Bolt
+goes (fwoosh)!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Smoke grenade! That’s awesome!
+
+LIAM: I got it!
+
+MARISHA: Mushroom cloud, that was great.
+
+TRAVIS: Like Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters 2.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there any way to get in there?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s holed up. The small hole
+looks like somebody tried to push through, or
+
+previously emerged and bricked what they could.
+You can’t fit through the hole, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start trying to open it up.
+I want to go in there, look for things, and break
+
+every damn–
+
+LAURA: Wait! We should heal, you guys. Should we
+take a short rest and heal up a little bit?
+
+TRAVIS: We should take a short rest. A breather,
+yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Jester, thank you for healing me. I feel
+like I did not deserve that, but thank you very much.
+
+LAURA: Oh! You’re welcome. You deserved it so
+much! You did so good!
+
+SAM: Oh boy, I’ve already used most of my hit
+dice. That’s crazy.
+
+MATT: You guys take a short rest of about an hour
+or so, as you sit down and recover your breath,
+
+take a moment to center yourself, tend to your
+wounds.
+
+SAM: After we’ve rested for a while, can I walk
+over to the little hole and peek in? I can’t fit
+
+through that little hole, can I?
+
+MATT: You’re pretty tiny. Make an acrobatics
+check. This is one of the benefits of being
+
+something so small.
+
+SAM: All right. Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? You just manage to pull through. It
+wasn’t a hard–
+
+SAM: I’ll take off my stuff, give it to Caleb for
+safekeeping, and do you have any butter or anything?
+
+LAURA: Let’s see. Let me look in my possessions. I
+don’t think I have any butter.
+
+SAM: I don’t want to get wet.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got a little bit of oil.
+
+SAM: Oh yeah! Oil! I’ll take some oil!
+
+TALIESIN: I use all my hit dice when I heal,
+because of Tough, right? There was something I got.
+
+SAM: Matt, I’m asking Beau to slather me in oil.
+
+MATT: Grease the goblin action is what you’re
+taking.
+
+SAM: Get it in there! Work it in! Mm-hmm!
+
+MATT: No, not for Tough, it gives you additional
+hit points. There’s another feat that does that.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like I got that, though.
+
+MATT: You got Tough for the additional hit points.
+
+TALIESIN: Was there something else that does
+that?
+
+MATT: Durable is the one feat that gives you +1
+Constitution when you roll hit dice.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like there was a thing. I’ll have
+to keep reading.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give you a little bit of a
+therapeutic temple rub while I’m at it.
+
+SAM: I’m going to Slip N’ Slide my way into the
+hole.
+
+MATT: You take a moment back, and run and dive in!
+The greased goblin squeezes through the small gap.
+
+It scrapes your shoulders and hurts a bit. You
+tumble in, which is great, because you land in the
+
+remains of the ash. You are covered in grease,
+which all sticks to you.
+
+(screaming)
+
+TRAVIS: The worst! It’s the worst!
+
+MATT: You got ashed and feathered? Tarred and–
+What do you call it? Oiled and ashed!
+
+SAM: It’s cool guys. It’s fun.
+
+TRAVIS: Suddenly I’m scared of falling on the
+beach.
+
+LIAM: I send in two globules after her to see the
+antiqued goblin.
+
+MATT: It’s a small chamber. It’s five foot by five
+foot. Anyone else is going to be pretty down in
+
+there, but you fit in fairly comfortably. There’s
+the shattered urn and a few small pieces of
+
+pottery with intricate gold scrolling. They’re
+probably very nice pieces of art or decor.
+
+SAM: I’m going to check for traps.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural?
+
+SAM: Uh-huh!
+
+MARISHA: What is that? 600? 700?
+
+ASHLEY: Six.
+
+MARISHA: Are you counting, Ash?
+
+ASHLEY: I am, but I might have lost count.
+
+LIAM: It takes the edge off.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, it does.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve never seen so many people happy for
+a natural one.
+
+MATT: As best you can tell, the room seems safe.
+
+SAM: All right. You said there’s a few urns that
+are fancier than the others?
+
+MATT: There are two large ones, nowhere near as
+big as the central urn that’s been shattered, but
+
+there’s two in the corner and a few small boxes
+off to the side.
+
+SAM: What’s in the urns?
+
+MATT: You glance over the inside, and they are
+empty. They look to be pieces of art that may have
+
+meant something to the person who previously–
+
+SAM: Will they fit through the hole?
+
+MATT: You may have to dig the hole open a little
+bit.
+
+ASHLEY: I can dig it open a little bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you can.
+
+ASHLEY and TRAVIS: (slamming)
+
+MATT: Given a little time, Yasha begins to peel
+the stones from the wall around it.
+
+SAM: Those boxes, can I check in those?
+
+MATT: Yeah, which one? There’s one on each side.
+
+SAM: I’ll take the right one.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you take the right one. You lift
+the lid, and as you do, you pull it open and
+
+powder emerges into your face. Make a constitution
+saving throw.
+
+SAM: Constitution save? That would be a four.
+
+MATT: Four? Okay! You take nine points of poison
+damage, and you’re poisoned for the next hour.
+
+SAM: Oh god!
+
+MATT: This cloud enters your lungs and you begin
+coughing. It burns the inside of your throat.
+
+LIAM: Hey Nott, how’s it going in there?
+
+SAM: Great! It’s fine! I’m going to cast Mage Hand
+and open the other one.
+
+MATT: There we go. (laughter)
+
+LIAM: It’s a five feet by five?
+
+MATT: It’s five by five.
+
+LIAM: You’re in a tiny– Why don’t you bring that
+thing out of there?
+
+SAM: No! I’ve got this! I’m fine! I’ll find the
+treasure! There’s nothing else in there?
+
+MATT: No, there’s nothing else. You look down into
+the box. There are sets of gold and silver rings
+
+and jewelry. It looks like whatever jewelry once
+may have been dressed upon the individual who was
+
+interred in that urn that was scattered. This is
+where their jewelry was placed.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take all of those things.
+
+MARISHA: Bring the art out, too.
+
+SAM: Sure, as soon as the hole gets bigger. I’ll
+open the other box with my Mage-y Hand-y!
+
+MATT: Okay. That box opens up, and there’s another
+splash of that same poisonous powder, but you’re
+
+off to the side. It only gets anyone who’s
+immediately in front of the box.
+
+SAM: I did it, guys!
+
+LIAM: I feel like Nott’s head comes out of the
+hole, going (rapid gasping) for fresh air.
+
+SAM: What’s in that box?
+
+MATT: That box contains a folded raiment of some
+kind, like a ceremonial mantle made of dark black
+
+and gray cloth with red embroidered designs on it.
+
+SAM: Do I recognize any symbols or anything?
+
+MATT: Make an arcana check.
+
+SAM: Natural one.
+
+TRAVIS: Yay! That’s seven!
+
+MATT: You are knocking it out of the park for
+charity!
+
+MARISHA: They’re like, “We didn’t anticipate
+this.”
+
+SAM: Everyone, I found a piece of clothing, an
+article of (hacking cough) clothing! Here, I’ll
+
+pass it out to you.
+
+LAURA: Is it pretty?
+
+SAM: It’s very pretty. Some art pieces. Some
+objets d'art!
+
+MARISHA: Rich people love fancy art.
+
+LAURA: Can I look at the art? Do I know the
+artists?
+
+MATT: From the giant boxes, you mean?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know what’s going on.
+
+MATT: The art are two large, well-made vases, that
+you eventually pull through the space here.
+
+LAURA: Well, that’s not as cool.
+
+MATT: You don’t recognize it. These were made a
+long time ago.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, they’re antique.
+
+ASHLEY: Could be worth a pretty penny.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: What about that cloak?
+
+LAURA: I put them in the bag. How about that?
+
+MATT: Okay. You have the folded mantle.
+
+TALIESIN: What does the mantle look like?
+
+MATT: The mantle is a dark black, a front chest
+mantle area, with gray stripes coming along the
+
+sides and this red embroidered design that emerges
+from around the neck, all across the front and
+
+back of the mantle.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it look familiar?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+TALIESIN: I was hoping.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I come up and see if it has any magic
+feel to it?
+
+MATT: I mean, you can make an arcana check to see
+if you recognize any elements of it.
+
+LIAM: I am stowing away the journal in there.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: You get a closer look, and you can see parts
+of the edges are burned. The very bottom parts of
+
+it seem to have been committed to some sort of
+flame. The edges of it are singed a bit. The black
+
+collar causes it to be lost at a distant view, but
+close up, you can see where it’s been damaged.
+
+There’s a fold at the front of it, a small pocket
+right there.
+
+TRAVIS: Weird. Looks like it’s been burned a bit.
+It’s got a little compartment in the front.
+
+LIAM: Like a kangaroo pouch?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know.
+
+MATT: Kind of, it’s on the side. Because a mantle
+would go down to about there for someone wearing
+
+it. you put your hand in there, and it’s a heavy
+material.
+
+TRAVIS: You want to try it on?
+
+LIAM: I would prefer to inspect it. Are we going
+to stay here for a little while?
+
+MARISHA: While all of this is going on, Beau wants
+to be going through some of these books that were
+
+on the shelf that we knocked over.
+
+MATT: The shelf is mostly empty.
+
+TRAVIS: There was that one book on the desk.
+
+LIAM: We could sit down on the floor together and
+have a look.
+
+TALIESIN: What else did you get out of there?
+
+MATT: You have the urns in the cages. You have the
+tables over there. You have the two braziers
+
+filled with ash on the sides. You have the broken
+cages back there. Everything that you see there is
+
+what’s in the chamber.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do a tour of the urns and
+see if there’s anything, jewelry or something,
+
+hidden in there.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Also, what I would recommend, if we feel
+comfortable sitting down for a moment, is to put
+
+all of our findings in the middle of the room, and
+I can ritually see which of these things are
+
+magic. Most of these things, we suspect, but maybe
+there are some other things. Then I can tell what
+
+exactly they are. I need some time.
+
+TALIESIN: That is a good idea.
+
+LIAM: Also, before Nott even got out, I’m stowing
+the journal away for a closer read.
+
+MATT: Okay. Totally fine.
+
+MARISHA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21, okay! You go through from cage to cage.
+The urns are scattered ash. Nothing catches your
+
+eye from those two. The nooses you pull through
+and tug on, and the rope rots and breaks in your
+
+grasp. You go past the brazier on that side with
+the ashes, and you poke around with your staff,
+
+and something catches your staff underneath the
+ash. You prod in there, and as you push it aside,
+
+there’s an object in the ash that is partially
+burned. As you pull it free and dust it off, it’s
+
+another book. A large portion of the back of it is
+burned off, and most of the pages are destroyed on
+
+the back end, but a good half of the book is
+mostly still intact. Like when it got thrown in
+
+there to be destroyed, the flame wasn’t quite
+strong enough to consume the entire book.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a little flip through of it?
+
+MATT: Yeah. As you go through, it’s filled with
+strange script and scrolling. Make an arcana check.
+
+MARISHA: Can I use a ki point to get advantage?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll mark that down really quick. I’ll
+take that 11 over that two. 13?
+
+MATT: 13. You don’t understand the nature of any
+of this, but it seems magical in nature. The
+
+script and elements of design remind you of the
+things you saw on the ceiling in the previous
+
+room. Though not exact, there are similarities to
+the way the script is drawn.
+
+TRAVIS: This is one of the ones in the cages,
+right?
+
+MATT: It was in the brazier, right there in the
+center.
+
+MARISHA: They tried to burn it.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey Yasha, you feel like knocking the shit
+out of some of those cages, opening them up?
+
+ASHLEY: I walk over and just start hitting.
+
+MATT: You start bashing and shaking it. You bend
+and eventually tear through some of the cage and
+
+glance through. You guys, together, begin to
+inspect the other cages, and honestly, in there,
+
+what you find is ash. Most everything in this
+chamber has been destroyed. Intentionally, it
+
+seems. Either by the previous denizen, who lived
+here, that you destroyed, or somebody else that
+
+had been here in here before. The only things that
+you find are what was in that burial chamber in
+
+the back, and that mostly burned tome in your
+hand.
+
+MARISHA: I walk over to Caleb. Hey Caleb. Found
+this.
+
+LIAM: Oh. Would you like to add it to the pile?
+
+MARISHA: Sure. I think it’s got stuff for you in
+it.
+
+LIAM: I’m not really into smut. That’s a bit of a
+ruse.
+
+MARISHA: That’s unfortunate, actually.
+
+LIAM: I mean, more than normal.
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Within reason.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I walk to the entrance to the tunnel,
+just to keep an eye out, while he does his thing?
+
+MATT: Sure. Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Everything’s in the pile? Including the
+stuff in the second chest?
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+SAM: What stuff in the second chest? Huh? What?
+Who? Huh?
+
+TALIESIN: The stuff in the second chest.
+
+LIAM: Well, she was in a dark hole.
+
+TALIESIN: I heard two traps go off.
+
+SAM: Of course, I was just about to get it out
+here. It’s for the whole group. We’re a team now. Right?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s very considerate of you, Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything you take on your own time is
+yours. We’re on the clock.
+
+SAM: Of course! I would never try to steal from
+the group. I just–
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+SAM: It’s a bunch of gold and jewels.
+
+LIAM: Hey, you know, this is going to take a
+while, so why don’t we put it all down, and I will
+
+get to work, okay?
+
+SAM: I’m poisoned.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: How much you care to drink is on you.
+
+LAURA: I’ve got an herbalism kit.
+
+MATT: There’s like a purple froth at the corner of
+her mouth. It’s spitting out–
+
+LIAM: She’s antiqued too. She’s covered in ash.
+
+MARISHA: Covered in oil and ash.
+
+LAURA: Can I use my herbalism kit to get rid of
+the poison?
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a medicine check.
+
+LIAM: (spitting) Pah. Pah!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re not stealthy, doing this.
+
+LAURA: That’s 21.
+
+MATT: Okay. I’ll say yes. You reduce the duration
+of the poison from an hour to about ten minutes.
+
+In the time it takes for guys to finish up, most
+of the poison eventually begins to wear off. You
+
+still look at bit worse for wear.
+
+TALIESIN: Greener than normal.
+
+SAM: How much money did we get?
+
+MATT: No coins. It’s just jewelry.
+
+LAURA: Are there any rings?
+
+MATT: Yeah. There’s probably a good 12 or so rings
+in there.
+
+LAURA: Caleb! You should see if the rings are
+magic.
+
+LIAM: I am well on my way. I hope I have been
+doing this for a while. So step one is Detect
+
+Magic on the pile to see what’s what.
+
+MATT: Detect Magic on the pile.
+
+LAURA: It also includes the sword and the vases.
+
+MATT: Correct. The only magical essence you get
+from that pile is the large sword that was taken
+
+off the wall. It’s not a magical aura from the
+book you just pulled from there, but even your
+
+quick glance at the way that it’s bound, and the
+construct of it, is familiar to you.
+
+LIAM: Does it also help that I’m also within the–
+Oh, no, we took a short rest, which is an hour–
+
+Okay. Good. The sword is the one thing?
+
+MATT: The sword is the one thing that’s giving off
+a magical aura.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Can I pick up this new book and leaf
+through it, and try to see–
+
+MATT: It is a partially damaged, but in some ways
+intact, spell book.
+
+LAURA: Can I try doing the Mending cantrip on it?
+Would that help?
+
+LIAM: Would you be ever so kind? I would be very
+grateful.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Le le le le le!
+
+MATT: Holding your symbol and concentrating on it,
+and whispering beneath your breath with a big
+
+smile, the pages begin to shift out and form into
+a full book. The half section that’s burned is
+
+restored to its previous.
+
+(exclamations of surprise)
+
+MATT: However, the script isn’t there. It doesn’t
+restore any of the writing on the inside of the
+
+book, unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: That’s still cool.
+
+MATT: Where you get to the pages where it was
+burned, the ink ends at that edge.
+
+LIAM: I put my hand on top of yours. Thank you
+very much.
+
+MARISHA: You’ve got like, a section to take notes
+now.
+
+LAURA: Hey, that’s good!
+
+TALIESIN: Or fill in the blanks.
+
+LIAM: I begin the process of casting Identify on
+the sword. Oh, and the mantle. What about the
+
+mantle? Was that in the pile?
+
+MATT: The mantle is not magical. It looks like it
+was an ornamental–
+
+SAM: Burial shroud?
+
+MATT: More like a ceremonial shroud. On the inside
+of the pocket, there is a lot of dried blood on
+
+the inside of it. It looks like something was kept
+in there that, at one point, was very viscous and
+
+covered in crimson.
+
+MARISHA: Necromancers.
+
+LIAM: The original goth.
+
+MATT: Of the book that you find; these are the
+remnants of the interior of it, and this is the
+
+sword identified for you.
+
+LIAM: Okay, this sword, because I know you’re all
+dying to know, is very old. It is a greatsword.
+
+Would I know the name of it by casting this?
+
+MATT: As part of the Identify spell you would know
+what it’s called.
+
+LIAM: This sword is called The Magician’s Judge.
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+LIAM: Excuse me. (heavy accent) The Magicians
+Chudge.
+
+SAM: That’s his Zemnian accent.
+
+LAURA: What else does it–
+
+LIAM: Oh no, I’m absorbing, and I will tell you in
+a moment. I need to make sense of it first.
+
+LAURA: It’s a two-handed then because it’s a
+great–
+
+LIAM: It’s a great sword, and what this–
+
+TRAVIS: Not a good sword–
+
+MARISHA: But a great sword.
+
+LIAM: (as Jester) “It’s pretty great.” When
+someone like Yasha hits a baddie with this, you
+
+can dispel any magical property that is present.
+Yeah? Or without attacking, you can hold the sword
+
+up and do the same.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit. If they’re casting something, it
+breaks it?
+
+MATT: It’s not a Counterspell. It’s a Dispel
+Magic. You still have to roll to see if it
+
+happens, but essentially you–
+
+TRAVIS: If they had, like, a Hold Person up it
+could dispel it?
+
+LAURA: We could use it on not-people as well?
+Maybe on objects?
+
+SAM: Magical traps.
+
+MATT: Anything within the realm of Dispel Magic.
+The spell itself.
+
+LIAM: Big woman. This has your name all over it. I
+think–
+
+ASHLEY: Let me try and see if–
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you’ll have to pick it up. I can’t
+even lift this thing.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LAURA: (laughter) That’s how you hold a
+greatsword?
+
+ASHLEY: Whoa!
+
+MATT: The hilt curves at the tip and comes up at
+an angle like this. Like a very subtle “V” shape.
+
+With the scrolling and runes on the edge. The
+blade itself is this wide, thick, gradually coming
+
+to a point, greatsword, about five feet long from
+hilt to edge of blade. It’s practically an anime
+
+sword. Looking at it, and based on what he
+discovered of the sword itself, it was used in the
+
+Age of Arcanum as an executioner’s blade, to kill
+mages that were caught by the law and went against
+
+the law of the land. It was used, and probably had
+been used, to execute a number of mages in the past.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s dark. Is it cursed? Does it feel
+cursed?
+
+ASHLEY: Hello?
+
+TRAVIS: (laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think so.
+
+MATT: Caleb, as you’re recalling the information
+from the Identify sword, you recall the notes that
+
+you picked from the book, when you entered the
+chamber, that spoke of a bounty hunter that had
+
+come for Siff. The trophy that was taken.
+
+MARISHA: Took his legs, yeah.
+
+SAM: With the sword?
+
+MARISHA: That’s why he had no feetsies.
+
+LAURA: So Siff didn’t have any feet!
+
+MARISHA: He actually didn’t have feet. He lost his
+legs.
+
+TALIESIN: He did have feet. They were just
+somewhere else.
+
+MATT: You get the sense the sword that was in the
+wall was the trophy taken from that bounty hunter.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. I assumed that immediately before the
+thing attacked. Probably Siff’s legs are all over
+
+you right now.
+
+SAM: Oh. No. Ugh. Gross.
+
+LAURA: Do you think taking the sword off the wall
+was what made Siff be able to come back?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know, but it was worth it.
+
+LAURA: Hmm.
+
+MARISHA: Hmm. I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: At least we’re not dead, you guys!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah!
+
+SAM: We have some rings.
+
+LAURA: Oh! We can put them on now! They’re not
+magic.
+
+SAM: Well, I know we share everything, but I feel
+like the ladies of the group would enjoy them
+
+more. Maybe we just take them? The ladies of the
+group?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t mind.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking a ring. How many are there?
+
+MATT: 12 rings.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is chewing on his finger and looking
+through the book.
+
+SAM: We all get one. I should get one for finding
+them.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+SAM: I should get one for sharing them. That was a
+good deed.
+
+TALIESIN: That was not a good deed. That is
+literally baseline of what’s expected.
+
+LAURA: I should get an extra one for healing you
+for poison, so that’s two for me.
+
+SAM: Fjord gave up his. I’ll take his share.
+That’s four for me.
+
+LAURA: I get Caleb’s because he’s not saying
+anything. That’s three for me.
+
+SAM: Beau, you’re naturally beautiful, so I’ll
+take yours–
+
+MARISHA: Give me a damn ring.
+
+SAM: Damn it.
+
+LAURA: How many is that? Seven, eight?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m taking an extra one for helping you
+remember that you’re supposed to share.
+
+LAURA: Yasha, that’s two rings left for you.
+
+TALIESIN: You can put it in your ear.
+
+LAURA: Or in your nose!
+
+SAM: Oh, I have a nose ring! I’m going to swap one
+out! Don’t look!
+
+LAURA: There has to be a hole in it for you
+to be able to do that.
+
+SAM: Oh, fuck! I got snot and ash all over it.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you are a mess right now.
+
+MARISHA: Beau leans over Caleb’s shoulder. What
+are you reading?
+
+LIAM: I’m thinking of all the good things that I
+can do for our new collective.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s cool. Who’s the publisher?
+Is that first print? First edition?
+
+LIAM: It is the Random Old House. First edition.
+Let me tell you, this was a good find, everyone!
+
+MARISHA: I recognize a few of those symbols.
+
+LIAM: Yeah? What do they mean?
+
+MARISHA: You know, magic shit.
+
+LIAM: You are correct.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s redacting his own card!
+
+LAURA: What is he writing?
+
+SAM: Oh, by the way, sidenote everyone, out of
+game, Laura has been taking our inventory and
+
+keeping it. Lost the page with all of the–
+
+LAURA: No! I didn’t lose the page. I lost the
+whole spiral!
+
+SAM: We have no idea what we have as a party
+anymore.
+
+TRAVIS: The idiot goliath kept it for five years.
+
+LAURA: Yes, well, things moved for some reason.
+
+LIAM: Terrible roleplay.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you sure it’s not on the table?
+
+LAURA: Does anybody see a little–
+
+SAM: You’re looking for it now?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, because I need it!
+
+MATT: While she’s looking for that, what are you
+guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Anything else in the hallway moving?
+
+MATT: You don’t see anything else moving, no.
+
+MARISHA: The Gentleman just wanted us to kill
+shit, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just to clear it out.
+
+MARISHA: He wanted us to– Did you find it?
+
+MATT: She found it.
+
+MARISHA: Did he want us to bring back something?
+Or just clear it out?
+
+SAM: There was something.
+
+MATT: He said clear it out–
+
+LAURA: Get evidence of something.
+
+SAM: Evidence of magic?
+
+MATT: Pretty much find out the nature of the
+place, clear it out, bring back what you find, and
+
+he may let you keep some of the spoils.
+
+LAURA: He may let us keep some of the spoils?
+
+MARISHA: I thought he said he wanted us to bring
+the expensive good shit, but we can keep whatever else.
+
+MATT: Essentially.
+
+LIAM: You know, we could give him some of those
+rings.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe some of the art?
+
+LIAM: Ja, definitely the art.
+
+SAM: The art, yeah. The vases.
+
+LAURA: I bet they’re worth a lot of money, though.
+Rich people love old things.
+
+MARISHA: They love old things! If we say it
+belonged to a dead person, they love it even more.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, if you give them all the rings, they
+might give us a job with more fancy stuff next time.
+
+SAM: Is it just rings, Matt, or were there other
+things in there?
+
+MATT: There were rings, a couple of loose
+bracelets. It was basically a collection of
+
+ornamental jewelry.
+
+LIAM: If we skimp, he’s going to think we’re
+bigger assholes than we actually are.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s keep it all together then, for
+now. Except for the books.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll each take a ring.
+
+LAURA: One ring.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll each take one ring.
+
+LAURA: Mine rules them all, though.
+
+TALIESIN: Got to do business.
+
+LIAM: You take my ring.
+
+SAM: No, you don’t have to– All right.
+
+LAURA: I already took his ring, so technically–
+Here.
+
+SAM: You can have Fjord’s ring. Fjord doesn’t want
+one, right?
+
+LIAM: Give her a ring.
+
+LAURA: (singing) I have two rings now still.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can give him that research
+notebook we found. You keep the spellbook, we give
+
+him the research notebook. We already know what
+was in it.
+
+LIAM: I gave it a cursory glance. I skimmed it.
+
+SAM: Well, if you read it on the way back, you’ll
+remember it forever.
+
+LIAM: That’s a good point.
+
+LAURA: What about the sword?
+
+MARISHA: I say we keep the sword.
+
+LIAM: No, we keep that sword. This one with that
+sword?
+
+ASHLEY: I like it. You know, we can– I don’t
+know.
+
+LAURA: I mean, he probably can’t even hold a
+greatsword.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s pretty obvious you’re going to have
+to hide it if we walk back in there.
+
+LIAM: We can put it in the Haversack, can’t we?
+
+ASHLEY: Do you see it?
+
+LAURA: It’s a little big for the Haversack.
+
+LIAM: I thought that thing was Mary Poppins’
+satchel. It doesn’t go all funny?
+
+LAURA: Not quite so much. It’s only eight cubic
+feet.
+
+LIAM: While we talk to The Gentleman, while we
+navigate that, I could carry the thingy to make
+
+room for it.
+
+ASHLEY: Do we all have to go inside to talk to
+him?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I don’t think we do.
+
+MARISHA: Do we have to go back out through the
+river to get out of here?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. We didn’t see any other exits,
+right?
+
+MATT: No, the only way out that you know of is the
+same way you came in.
+
+TRAVIS: Which is weird because it was all caved
+in.
+
+MARISHA: Which means we’re going to have to pass
+right back through The Gentleman’s place. It’s not
+
+like we’re going to be able to lie.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you mend the transportation circle?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think it works quite like that. It
+has to be a broken thing.
+
+LIAM: Yes, and this sort of thing takes a lot of
+work from very specialized people.
+
+MARISHA: I wonder where it goes.
+
+SAM: You could mend the big urn that held the
+ashes of the lich-y thing. Then we can take that
+
+urn back and give it to–
+
+LAURA: As long as there were no ashes in it.
+
+SAM: They’re all on me.
+
+MATT: I will say, unfortunately, the urn that was
+destroyed that contained Siff’s remains is a bit
+
+large for the Mend spell. You can only mend a
+foot-by-foot space. The urn was a big old thing.
+
+LIAM: Clarification: When Caleb did Detect Magic,
+did the circle in the center of the room glow at
+
+all? Or is it– It’s dead.
+
+MATT: Nope. You see it’s been scarred
+intentionally from the inside. Possibly, whatever
+
+flurry of intent that Siff had to burn the book,
+destroy everything, burn everything from the
+
+inside also, was to destroy the circle and allow
+nothing else to come through. You get the sense
+
+that the final moments in this chamber were
+probably very paranoid.
+
+MARISHA: What do we remember about the Crawling
+King? Do you know anything?
+
+MATT: That would be a religion check.
+
+LIAM: I will make a religion check.
+
+TRAVIS: I will make one too, but I’m not going to
+count it.
+
+TALIESIN: Advantage, or no?
+
+MATT: For you? No.
+
+LIAM: 15 for Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: No. That’s a one.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it wasn’t an herbalism kit. I’m stupid.
+It wasn’t an herbalism kit that could heal the
+
+poison. It was medicinal herbs. That’s what I had
+in my inventory that I remembered.
+
+MATT: Oh. You rolled pretty well, same difference.
+We’ll say it would have lasted a little longer,
+
+but you still managed to outlast the poison. There
+was no threat at that moment. What’d you roll?
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15 religion? Anybody else? No?
+
+TRAVIS: I rolled it, but–
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+TRAVIS: A 20.
+
+MARISHA: Did you say you rolled a one?
+
+TALIESIN: A one.
+
+MARISHA: You rolled a one, another one!
+
+MATT: There you go. The Crawling King is known
+as– What you can recall with a 20, strangely, and
+
+the information comes to you esoterically. You’re
+not entirely certain where the inspiration for
+
+this knowledge comes from, but you have these
+images of one of the betrayer gods in history.
+
+You’ve heard stories or something that inspires
+you to remember something inhuman and larva-like:
+
+a monstrous, terrible worm crawling through the
+deepest tunnels of the world. Now locked away,
+
+Post-Calamity, with all the rest of the betrayer
+gods.
+
+LIAM: Why do you have such a queer look on your
+face?
+
+TRAVIS: I feel like I remember something about a
+real larva-looking worm. Huge fucking thing.
+
+MATT and TRAVIS: Screaming human face at the
+front.
+
+LIAM: For the Crawling King, you are talking
+about?
+
+LAURA: I definitely start drawing that in my
+notebook.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Locked away after the Calamity, but
+real nasty.
+
+LIAM: Do you have a lot of knowledge for the gods
+and religions of the world?
+
+TRAVIS: Not really, it’s more like I remember from
+a dream or something. Kind of hard to remember if
+
+it happened to me or not.
+
+LIAM: The awe-inspiring one with the face is from
+a dream you had?
+
+SAM: Was it the salt-water dream?
+
+TRAVIS: No. I don’t think so. Could be.
+
+SAM: You need to work on vivid dreams. You can
+control yourself– Lucid dreaming, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: How do you do that?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I think it’s crystals or
+something?
+
+LAURA: You can keep a dream journal. That’s a good
+way to do it.
+
+SAM: When you wake up, you just write.
+
+LAURA: Write it down immediately what you
+remember. It really helps.
+
+LIAM: I would like to do an insight check on Fjord
+while he tells us that story. Pretty good, 20.
+
+MATT: Best you can tell, he’s telling the truth.
+
+TRAVIS: As per usual.
+
+LIAM: Whack!
+
+MARISHA: Well, I think this information about the
+teleportation-y circle situation could be useful
+
+leverage if he wants to try and take that sword
+off of your back.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like rich people like candlesticks,
+so I could take the candlesticks with us.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, what are they made of? Can we tell
+what kind of metal those candlesticks are made of?
+
+LIAM: Well, Nott and I could tell you.
+
+MATT: They look like they’re made out of nice
+metal. They’re not made out platinum or anything,
+
+but they’re fine candle lamps. Could be a
+silver-like material.
+
+ASHLEY: They’re antique, you know, for
+decoration?
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck yeah, man. Melt that down.
+
+ASHLEY: They’ll probably want those instead of the
+sword.
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check.
+
+MARISHA: I say we keep this teleportation a
+secret, unless he tries to start bargaining for shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural one.
+
+MATT: Another natural one. You have a hard time
+telling what kind of metal this is.
+
+LAURA: Are we going to tell him about the sword?
+
+MARISHA: Not unless he asks.
+
+TRAVIS: Pretty sure it’s aluminum.
+
+LAURA: Only if he notices the sword.
+
+LIAM: You know, I think we give him the things of
+monetary value. We are thinking long-term for this
+
+group, working together. This book and that blade
+are going to ensure a greater success and cohesion
+
+in the future.
+
+MARISHA: That’s what we’re saying.
+
+LIAM: Then we are as one.
+
+LAURA: I can try to fit it in the bag.
+
+SAM: What if it rips? I don’t think it’s a good
+idea.
+
+LAURA: If it pierces, it’s bad.
+
+LIAM: Can we try to do it but go with the hilt
+downward? See what happens?
+
+SAM: Why don’t we try to camouflage it? We could
+wrap it in reeds.
+
+LAURA: Rub some of the ash on it!
+
+ASHLEY: What if I have you on my shoulders? Like a
+kid?
+
+SAM: Sure, yeah, of course. That’s normally how I
+like to travel.
+
+ASHLEY: We put– behind us.
+
+LAURA: Like it can be up your butt!
+
+SAM: How would that work? In front of me?
+
+ASHLEY: It’s connected to– That’s not going to
+work.
+
+SAM: No, I like this. I could drape myself over
+it.
+
+LIAM: What all is in that haversack that you
+have?
+
+LAURA: I have some crossbow bolts, and this
+crowbar, and the sledgehammer–
+
+LIAM: Can we take out everything except for–
+
+LAURA: I have this longsword. I have these old
+vases that we’re going to give him. I have this
+
+old dodecahedron, and I open up the lead box. This
+is really taking up a lot of space.
+
+LIAM: Caleb starts looking at the do–
+
+LAURA: I start shoving it all back in.
+
+TRAVIS: I forgot we got that.
+
+MARISHA: How did you forget we got that?
+
+SAM: Oh wait, where’s our dynamite? Didn’t we have
+dynamite? I mean, boom sticks?
+
+LAURA: We have boom sticks?
+
+SAM: Yeah, don’t we have two boom sticks?
+
+MATT: You have two you never used from the fight.
+
+SAM: Who has them?
+
+MARISHA: I have one, I think?
+
+SAM: Don’t we have drugs?!
+
+MARISHA: We have mushrooms!
+
+LIAM: (shouting) Jester!
+
+LAURA: I’m listening! What?
+
+LIAM: I know you are, but I am cutting through the
+noise. Can we not take everything out of that bag
+
+except for this new blade and the dodecahedron?
+Everything else comes out, because the rest is
+
+pretty utility, is it not?
+
+MARISHA: Well it’s eight cubic square feet.
+
+LAURA: It might work, we can try to fit it.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we can tie a rag around the end of the
+blade to keep it from piercing anything.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, does it have a scabbard?
+
+MATT: No, it does not. It was ornamentally placed
+on the wall.
+
+LAURA: We should probably get one of those made.
+
+SAM: I don’t know about this.
+
+LIAM: I pull off the new cloak that I got a
+handful of days ago. We can wrap this around the
+
+blade so it will not pierce.
+
+TALIESIN: Tie it up and bundle it.
+
+LIAM: Of course that will work.
+
+LAURA: It works. It doesn’t get pierced from the
+inside. It can only be pierced from the outside, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s magical!
+
+MATT: Are you trying to place the blade inside?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You place it into there. It gets to the
+hilt, and it won’t go all the way in.
+
+LAURA: It’s too big!
+
+MATT: You have too much stuff in it.
+
+LAURA: What if I take the sledgehammer out? I’ll
+take the sledgehammer out.
+
+LIAM: The sledgehammer we leave. It’s a
+sledgehammer.
+
+LAURA: Will it fit once I take the sledgehammer
+out?
+
+LIAM: Everything but the dodecahedron.
+
+MATT: The unfortunate thing is, it’s a very long
+blade in comparison to other points. The space
+
+itself is somewhat amorphous, but you consider it
+still a central space.
+
+LIAM: What if roll the sword up like a Fruit
+Roll-up?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think the sword is going to fucking
+fit. Here.
+
+MARISHA: I still like Yasha’s idea.
+
+SAM: Let’s try Yasha’s idea.
+
+MARISHA: Just slip it up your back robe.
+
+ASHLEY: I can slip it up my back and then you can
+be on my shoulders like you’re tired or something?
+
+LIAM: Wear my cloak if you want to cover it.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott can put her legs out.
+
+TRAVIS: We should probably get back. We’ve been
+here awhile.
+
+LAURA: He probably thinks we’re dead, you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we almost were.
+
+MARISHA: All right, let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: We head out.
+
+LIAM: I hang out at the back of the group for a
+split second, and hold out that wire that I used
+
+to cast that cantrip and look at the room and I
+look at the wire. Then I follow everybody.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys make your way back up through
+the chamber where you had the encounter with the
+
+gelatinous cube and solved the riddle of the
+hidden interior of this research facility. You
+
+make your way through the no longer trapped
+chambers, still tenuously held on the various
+
+pressure plates.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, we should have tried to go through
+that teleportation circle.
+
+LIAM: It was broken.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we should have tried harder.
+
+MARISHA: They worship some weird shit. Who knows
+what dark corners of the world it goes to.
+
+TALIESIN: I wonder if you’ll come out in one of
+the Nine Hells but only a third of you.
+
+LIAM: What we would have done is face-planted on
+the stone floor.
+
+MARISHA: We’re going to start with just trying to
+give him the rings and the art, right? Rings, art,
+
+shit– Keep everything else.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: And the candlesticks.
+
+SAM: I think the god of gods wants to say
+something.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+you continue up the spiral staircase, coming to
+
+where the wall had been blown down and then
+cleared out for you guys to enter. There, as you
+
+hear the familiar sound of rushing water, you
+climb out back into the much cooler air flow
+
+that’s blowing through the subterranean tunnel.
+There, your two boats are still affixed, pulled up
+
+onto the edge of the river.
+
+LIAM: Can I say that as soon as I left this
+chamber I tagged along behind my new monk best
+
+friend and sent the globules in the air around us
+even though she has the goggles, and I’m, while
+
+walking, trying to read every page of that
+journal. And will continue to do so on the boats.
+
+LAURA: Thank you for saving me, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re welcome.
+
+LAURA: Thank you for saving me, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: No problem.
+
+MATT: So who’s taking which boat?
+
+ASHLEY: I would like to get in a boat with Caleb.
+
+MATT: Yasha and Caleb on one side.
+
+SAM: And me.
+
+ASHLEY: And Nott.
+
+MATT: The rest in the other?
+
+LAURA: I have to go in the other boat.
+
+SAM: You’re the motor.
+
+MATT: Are you guys going up back where you came?
+
+SAM: Does the river keep going?
+
+MATT: The river continues going, yeah. It forked
+ahead where you were.
+
+TRAVIS: Current goes away from the direction we
+came from?
+
+MATT: Correct, but it’s not a strong current. It’s
+a lazy-going current, but you could row up. It’s a
+
+little harder to do.
+
+TRAVIS: We could see what’s down the river a bit.
+
+LIAM: If we want to go back, our two muscle
+sisters could get us up this current for sure.
+
+MATT: You could. It would be tiring.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re already out this far. Might as well
+see where it goes for a little bit.
+
+SAM: It could be scary. There could be more rock
+monsters and things.
+
+TALIESIN: There are literally going to be rock
+monsters if we go back the other way.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, if we are doing that, then I suggest
+camping in this chamber before going forward,
+
+because we are all bloodied and battered, you
+know.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. We could do that.
+
+LAURA: It has been a really long day so far.
+
+SAM: What time is it?
+
+MATT: Make a survival check, Nott.
+
+LIAM: I would know what time of day it is.
+
+MATT: You would because of your feat.
+
+SAM: And so would I because I rolled an 18!
+
+MATT: The two of you know that in the time you
+spent traveling down here in the subterranean
+
+area, resting and going through these battles–
+and you left midday. It’s when you had arrived to
+
+begin your journey here. It’s getting pretty close
+to dusk. Not quite yet. The sun hasn’t set.
+
+SAM: We could go a little ways, and then come back
+if we don’t find anything.
+
+LIAM: I don’t think we should go. We either go
+back the way we came, or we camp before going forward.
+
+MARISHA: We could do a scout boat.
+
+LAURA: Or we go check out what’s farther along.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe one boat stays behind, the other
+scouts it out?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to stay behind. I am out.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Separate the party!
+
+TALIESIN and TRAVIS: I’ll go forward.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll check it out.
+
+LIAM: Terrible idea.
+
+MARISHA: It’s our boat? Our boat scouts.
+
+LAURA: Just a little bit.
+
+TALIESIN: Not far.
+
+MARISHA: I use my staff to help navigate,
+Jester–
+
+TALIESIN and SAM: This is a terrible idea.
+
+MATT: Yasha, Nott, and Caleb are staying behind.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll watch over these guys.
+
+MATT: You keep watch. The four of you guys–
+
+SAM: I’ll watch over these guys.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, Nott.
+
+MATT: The rest of you get into one of the boats,
+push off, catch up onto the current, and begin to
+
+lazily drift further down the cavern.
+
+LAURA: I feel like this is stupid.
+
+SAM: Bye, guys.
+
+LAURA: See you never.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll be back. We’re just taking a little
+look.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re only going an hour down, tops.
+
+MARISHA: I light a torch.
+
+MATT: The light picks up and spells out the
+interior of this chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Keep an eye on the roof, remember?
+
+LAURA: If the current starts to pick up, we’re
+going to fight it and try to go back, yes?
+
+LIAM: As they float away out of earshot, I say to
+my two friends here: you know, if need be, The
+
+Mighty Drei also sounds very cool.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we taking a cat?
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Oh, I don’t think it works that far
+away from him.
+
+LIAM: No, Frumpkin is scarfing around my neck
+right now.
+
+MATT: You guys travel for about ten or 15 minutes
+down before another cavern merges with the one
+
+you’re in. It looks like another side of the river
+seems to merge with yours.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s where the fork was. It comes
+back together.
+
+MARISHA: We’re back to the fork.
+
+MATT: Well, you’re back where the fork seems to
+re-merge with the path you’ve been taking. As you
+
+turn back onto where that happens, what do you
+do?
+
+MARISHA: We’re going down that other path, right?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, keep going straight ahead.
+
+MATT: Are you guys continuing to go downriver or
+are you going–
+
+LAURA: We’re turning back and going the other
+way?
+
+TRAVIS: We could check out the other cavern and
+save the deeper part of the river for when we’re together.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair. Let’s just–
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re fighting up.
+
+MATT: Jester turns it around and begins going
+against the current and pulling you guys up–
+
+TRAVIS: I get behind Jester and start massaging
+her traps.
+
+MATT: There you go. Switchback towards the other
+avenue of the fork, and you guys continue up
+
+there. It takes a little while longer, and it’s a
+little tiring. For the heck of it, make a
+
+constitution check, please.
+
+LAURA: Constitution check? That’s pretty good.
+16.
+
+MATT: No sweat. You’re making it up the river
+without an issue. Your muscles are holding. It’s
+
+fine. You are a beast.
+
+SAM: You have some sweat right here.
+
+MATT: Eventually, the sound of rushing water gets
+louder and louder. You glance up in the direction
+
+where you’re coming from, and there’s a fine mist
+in the air, a spray.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, there’s a waterfall.
+
+MATT: It looks like there is a waterfall that you
+guys are at the bottom of. It’s about a 15-foot
+
+drop from above to the bottom of where you are.
+You’d have to climb to get to the top, and you
+
+have no idea how to get a boat up there. You get
+the sense that if you had gone the other way down
+
+here, you would’ve suddenly had a waterfall drop.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there land off to the sides of the
+bottom of the waterfall?
+
+MATT: Very thin, a half a foot to a foot, but
+there are a lot of stones and rocks that have
+
+tumbled through the river over time and set at the
+bottom that would’ve destroyed a boat that had
+
+fallen off the edge of that waterfall.
+
+TALIESIN: Good to know.
+
+LAURA: Does it seem like there are any boats that
+are broken at the bottom of it?
+
+MATT: You can make an investigation check as
+you’re rowing up to the edge, glancing over the side.
+
+LAURA: Is there anywhere to stop the boat?
+
+MATT: This would be more of a perception check
+because you can’t really investigate. You’re not
+
+poring through it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll join this.
+
+MATT: There’s no place to pull the boat off to the
+side.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a place to tie it off?
+
+MATT: There are only really the stones here, and
+they’re pretty slick.
+
+LAURA: I only rolled a ten.
+
+MATT: You don’t see any remnants of broken ship or
+boat.
+
+TALIESIN: Perception. That would have been ten,
+again.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s hard to tell in this vicinity.
+You do see the water crashing down a little, so
+
+there are a couple of small platforms on the way
+that it’s hitting and splashing off again. The
+
+spray is causing all this–
+
+LAURA: Is the waterfall really hardcore? Could we
+see if there’s anything behind the waterfall?
+
+MATT: Well, at the moment, no. From what you can
+see in the vicinity, you see the water rushing down.
+
+MARISHA: Can I get a little bit closer? I can
+poke.
+
+LIAM: Find Clarota again.
+
+LAURA: I try to get closer so that she can poke
+through the waterfall.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take my staff and jab it
+behind there, see if there’s anything.
+
+MATT: On one end, it hits rock. Does not.
+
+(gasping)
+
+MATT: There’s a little space behind the water.
+
+LAURA: Should we go?
+
+MARISHA: There’s always shit behind waterfalls. I
+think we should.
+
+LAURA: Do you think it’s going to bludgeon us?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m already taking off my jacket. I’m
+taking off everything that I don’t want to get
+
+wet, keeping just one sword, and I’m going to go
+for it.
+
+LIAM: Nipple rings in or out?
+
+TALIESIN: Weirdly, there are no nipple rings.
+Those things are dangerous. They catch on shit.
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+MATT: They’re not there.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: Molly jumps off the boat.
+
+LAURA: Oh, you’re going? You’re jumping now?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going in.
+
+LAURA: You’re not going to try to get the boat
+through?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not letting him go by himself. I do
+the same thing.
+
+LAURA: I try to get the boat through.
+
+MATT: You row the boat. You pull through the
+waterfall and the boat (cracks). The opening is
+
+not wide enough for the boat, and it jams up into
+the space and gets lodged, and the waterfall is on
+
+you guys and in the boat. It’s filling up the
+boat.
+
+LAURA: I save the boat! Okay, I try to push off
+and not sink the boat.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check.
+
+MARISHA: Can I help her push off?
+
+MATT: Yeah, so you have advantage because she’s
+aiding you with this.
+
+LAURA: Jeez. Oh, much better.
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: 21. Yeah, that’ll do it. You push away from
+the waterfall. Actually, I’m going to pull up some
+
+audio for this because I have it.
+
+LAURA: I really want to go see what’s behind the
+waterfall, but I don’t want to lose the boat.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m crawling up into it, man.
+
+LAURA: We’ll lose the boat if I jump out of the
+boat.
+
+MARISHA: Will it go anywhere, though? This is the
+end of it. It’s stuck in the chamber?
+
+TALIESIN: No, because it’s going to have a flow,
+because the water is coming down. We have to tie
+
+it off on something.
+
+LAURA: Is there anything to tie the boat on?
+
+MATT: There is nothing here, unfortunately. It’s
+slick rocks.
+
+LAURA: Do you see anything on the other side?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll let you know when I get there.
+
+MATT: He’s swimming, making his way through at the
+moment.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. Where is it? I’m so excited. I
+want to hear your white noise.
+
+SAM: In cold water?
+
+LAURA: It’ll be like a cold peppermint drink.
+It’ll be good.
+
+SAM: I don’t think it works like that.
+
+LAURA: It does because I’ve been doing it at
+home.
+
+MATT: You make your way through–
+
+ASHLEY: Much better.
+
+MATT: There you go. Keep it thematic. You come up
+from underneath and you can see, as soon as you
+
+come up and reach out your feet and your hands,
+both of you guys begin to catch soft river floor,
+
+and eventually it comes up to a plateau, and this
+is a small, enclosed chamber in the inside.
+
+TALIESIN: (laughter) I’ve always wanted to do
+this.
+
+TRAVIS: Darkvision. Do I see anything?
+
+MATT: It only goes back about ten or so feet.
+
+SAM: (Clarota voice) Welcome to my home.
+
+MATT: (Clarota voice) It’s been a while.
+
+LIAM: (Clarota voice) Time is a circle.
+
+MATT: He’s folding beer cans into little shapes.
+What’s an alhoon to do? Anyway, you guys come out
+
+of the water and quickly glance, as your hair’s
+drenched on the sides of your face– except for
+
+you. It’s short enough hair. On the inside, it’s
+fairly empty, except for a skeleton. A humanoid
+
+skeleton against a back wall that is laying there.
+It has manacles or chains attached to its wrists,
+
+neck, and feet, and they’re all connected by a
+singular chain in the center, and it’s resting
+
+there, and it’s probably been here for a while.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s bad luck.
+
+TALIESIN: We seem to keep finding these. I am
+going to examine this thing.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+MATT: I mean, the body’s pretty rotted. It looks
+like whatever clothing they’re wearing is very
+
+basic material that is– It would be more
+disintegrated if there wasn’t so much moisture in
+
+the area, and it looks like bits of it have been
+eaten away with fungus and mold over time. The
+
+manacles are very well made, and looking at the
+edges where they connect, there’s a small rune at
+
+that point.
+
+TRAVIS: No scratches in the walls or any pouches
+or compartments on the floor around this little space?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 19.
+
+MATT: Glancing around the interior of the chamber,
+unfortunately, there are no secret compartments or
+
+any alcoves. It looks like whoever was in here may
+have been an individual who escaped from a boat
+
+that was unprepared for the fall, and whoever was
+rowing them down this chamber either didn’t
+
+survive or didn’t know about this hidden alcove,
+and this individual was in here until they passed away.
+
+TRAVIS: What do those manacles look like?
+
+TALIESIN: Magic.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, we could use those. I’ll walk over and
+I step on the elbow joint and snap it.
+
+MATT: As you do, the whole skeleton implodes
+entirely, and the manacles slip off as the
+
+different joints pull apart and alleviate the
+manacles. Now you’re holding the center chain, so
+
+you have the neck ring, the wrist and the ankle
+rings all dangling from this cluster of chain
+
+you’re holding.
+
+TALIESIN: I will pick up the skull and take a look
+at it. It is human?
+
+MATT: It appears to be human. Make a medicine
+check.
+
+TALIESIN: All these checks. Where’s my medicine?
+There. 12.
+
+MATT: Looking at the features of the skull,
+they’re a little bit more delicate than an average
+
+human’s skull. You get the sense they may be of
+partial elven blood. Not full elf, but partial elf.
+
+SAM: Never go full elf.
+
+TALIESIN: Very true. Well, on your way, Yorick. I
+set it adrift.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, put the manacles over and I’ll jump
+back in.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to also keep my eyes open. I’m
+going to try to get a little bit down into this to
+
+see if there’s any bits and pieces underwater.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check when you came
+back in the water.
+
+TALIESIN: Do a little pat down.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I aid him or help him do something?
+
+MATT: Sure. You guys both go down there. You roll
+twice, with advantage, then. The help action
+
+allows you to–
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+MATT: Looking down below there, you do see at the
+bottom, mostly covered in masses of soft dirt and
+
+silt, pieces of broken ship, and amongst the
+jagged rocks, it looks like more than one. A few
+
+ships have met their end at the base of this
+waterfall, definitely. Beyond that, you don’t
+
+notice anything of use. You do find a rusted
+shortsword and a couple of broken pieces of boxes,
+
+but anything that was left at the bottom of the
+waterfall seems like would have been recovered.
+
+Anything of worth someone must have come back for
+and sifted through because everything down there
+
+is rotted wood and things that weren’t useful.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. I’m going to kick my way back
+up to the boat.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys break the surface and climb
+back into the boat.
+
+MARISHA: Ugh. Gross, Molly.
+
+LAURA: Did you find anything?
+
+TALIESIN: A lot of bad decisions. Several boats.
+
+MATT: As Fjord (impact) over the side and you
+see the chains on the inside.
+
+TALIESIN: Someone who didn’t quite get away.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, give me a hand?
+
+LAURA: (Breathy) Okay.
+
+SAM: (Singing) Oskar!
+
+TALIESIN: I think I should find that gross, but
+I’m kind of into it?
+
+MARISHA: You know, people are going to start–
+
+LAURA: I lift him up by his armpits.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Spin him around once?
+
+LIAM: (Jester voice) You are like my little doll.
+
+TALIESIN: We did find one interesting thing: a
+place to stash things if we don’t want them to be found.
+
+LAURA: Oh that’s– ooh.
+
+MARISHA: How easy is it to get back down here,
+though?
+
+LIAM: Real difficult.
+
+TALIESIN: Well. If we come out the other way, then
+we know how to get back down here.
+
+SAM: (as pigeon) Coo! We’re never coming back
+here, coo!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: It’s a good place to hide though, too.
+
+TALIESIN: Good to know.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, even wet you’re, like, 150?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: I am 185 easy, okay?
+
+TALIESIN: Wet.
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MARISHA: He is very wet.
+
+LAURA: Fjord. 150? No?
+
+SAM: It was good.
+
+TALIESIN: Somewhere in the world right now,
+someone’s laughing.
+
+SAM: I think if you beg for it, it makes it even
+better.
+
+LAURA: It’s even better, right?
+
+MARISHA: Explain that joke. Explain it.
+
+MATT: What’re you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I think we’re good to go back and join the
+others, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: That was fun.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way back, fighting the
+current. Go ahead and make another constitution check.
+
+LAURA: Oh shit. I’m getting real tired, you guys–
+Oh, I’m not. I’m not getting tired at all,
+
+actually. 17.
+
+MATT: Jester’s powering through, no issue. You
+guys make it back. You join the rest of the crew.
+
+You see a mildly damp Mollymauk. Actually the
+whole crew is damp at this point from being under
+
+the waterfall.
+
+LIAM: How long were they gone for?
+
+MATT: At this point in time with the searching it
+would probably be close to an hour or so.
+
+LIAM: I could probably read an average novel in
+over an hour, so has this journal been read?
+
+MATT: For what you can, yeah. You’ve read
+everything in the journal you can make sense of.
+
+SAM: While they were gone–
+
+MATT: Well do you have another spell slot for
+Tongues? Well, for Comprehend Languages. Not Tongues.
+
+LIAM: Oh because it’s in a different language. Oh,
+yeah.
+
+MARISHA: The research journal? The research one?
+
+LIAM: No, because I used my magic thingy to get a
+slot back earlier in the day, so no.
+
+SAM: (as Jester) Technically can’t you remember
+everything? You just don’t understand it?
+
+LIAM: No, I remember what I skimmed, but I
+don’t–
+
+MARISHA: What was it written in?
+
+MATT: Draconic.
+
+SAM: You have a photographic memory, don’t you?
+
+LIAM: Of what I skimmed. I have to actually read
+it to remember it, and I did not read this entire book.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can’t cast a spell and then
+remember the language. He has to actually–
+
+LIAM: I don’t touch the book to my head and then I
+have it. I have to eat the book.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Just piece by piece. All right. Now
+that you’ve re-joined with your compatriots–
+
+LAURA: Do we want to long rest or go back?
+
+LIAM and TALIESIN: Long rest.
+
+LAURA: Let’s camp.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys take the boats back onto
+the side. Where are you resting, here on the side
+
+of the river?
+
+LIAM: Oh! What I would have done if they left and
+I’m tapped, Caleb would have used a ritual to cast
+
+Comprehend Languages.
+
+MATT: It’s a ritual spell?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty, you’re fine.
+
+LIAM: I am up to speed.
+
+MATT: Then you’re good. All righty.
+
+TRAVIS: We should actually go back inside and use
+the entrance as a good funnel. Don’t leave
+
+ourselves in the open.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, if you’re done with that book do
+you think I could hold on to it?
+
+LIAM: Do you want to read it?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’d love to. Thank you.
+
+MATT: You guys pull the boats up on the side, head
+back inside. Where are you going to set up camp on
+
+the inside of the chamber?
+
+SAM: How about in the place where we disarmed all
+the traps? We know that that’s safe.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a bit deep in there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it is.
+
+SAM: Well we can’t camp in the staircase.
+
+LAURA: Just inside of the rock collapse?
+
+SAM: That is a staircase.
+
+LAURA: It is? Immediately?
+
+SAM: Yes, immediately.
+
+LIAM: You are a reader?
+
+LAURA: Then yeah, at the bottom.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the top– or the bottom. The
+bottom?
+
+TALIESIN: I think at the top, personally.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, because the bottom one with the
+things, the traps blockers–
+
+LAURA: Right before the staircase, right inside.
+
+MATT: You can do that. You guys set up a small
+camp area, take whatever bedrolls and materials
+
+that you have to do the best you can to set up a
+space to sleep. You find enough of a division in
+
+the floor to at least get to a resting point and
+you guys begin your evening’s long rest. Could I
+
+have everybody at the table except for Fjord
+please leave and go take your break a little early?
+
+MARISHA: (singing) More bad dreams!
+
+LAURA: (singing) Because he was in the water
+before!
+
+SAM: (singing) Every time he touches the water he
+has backstory!
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t know that!
+
+LIAM: Fuck that kraken!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s a whole different show.
+
+LIAM: It’s the same show!
+
+MARISHA: Crack into a Kraken.
+
+TRAVIS: Take your time! It’s all good.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, I want to bring this with me that’s
+all.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no. Oh god.
+
+MATT: The sleep takes you and the darkness of your
+dream state alleviates you of the stress of the
+
+day. Your aching muscles turning numb, your
+physical form and consciousness now removed and
+
+aimless in this dark space. You look down at your
+hands, and there you see clasped in your grip the
+
+hooked and curved blade that you had recently
+bound with. In your grasp, you swing it and slowly
+
+inspect as you do. As you swirl the blade around
+in your hand, it almost has a trail around it. As
+
+you hold it coldly in you grasp, this yellow light
+suddenly emerges in front of you, as a familiar,
+
+large, yellow eye now looks upon you. A voice
+fills you, directionless, “Consume.” You glance at
+
+the blade and back at the eye and the voice again
+says, “Consume.” What do you do?
+
+TRAVIS: Consume. Oh god, am I going to try to
+swallow the sword?
+
+MATT: What do you do, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a large blade, right?
+
+MATT: It’s about this wide in places. It comes out
+and it arcs and curves and has jagged edges on it.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know what you mean, consume? Fuck
+it, I’ll turn the blade over and keeping my eyes
+
+on the big eye, I’ll bring it up to my mouth and
+open it.
+
+MATT: It’s cold to the touch of your tongue, the
+blade completely absent of any temperature.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll–
+
+MATT: As you begin to force it down your gullet,
+you feel the edge of the blade hit the back of
+
+your throat and a moment of pain hits you as it
+begins to cut through your flesh. At that point,
+
+this ravenous hunger begins to build on the inside
+of your stomach. Though the pain tells you to pull
+
+away, you continue to force the blade down. As you
+pull it down from the hilt, you feel the blood
+
+burble up in the back of your throat and spill out
+of your chin but you continue to push it until the
+
+entirety of the blade is consumed within your
+throat. You close your eyes for a moment and look
+
+up at the eye once more. The voice returns to
+fill, reverberating around you. The pain subsides
+
+and it says, “Good.” The eye closes. The lid
+completely cutting of the source, the cold, the
+
+liquid, the water around you the sense of being
+under the ocean again begins to whisk you away. A
+
+heavy current begins to pull from behind and you
+reach out trying to grasp for any hand or foot
+
+hold. Yet you have nothing to hold on to. As you
+feel yourself being dragged into this endless
+
+abyss, the dream comes to an end. You wake up.
+(panting) Everyone else is asleep in the area. No
+
+one seems to have woken up from your presence.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything in my hands?
+
+MATT: Nothing in your hands, no.
+
+TRAVIS: I wipe my mouth.
+
+MATT: Wipe your mouth. There’s a little bit of
+blood right there across your hand.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I try and summon the sword?
+
+MATT: You do and as you summon it, there before
+you is not the Wastehunter Blade, but the falchion
+
+now returned to grasp with a strange, more hooked
+and jagged appearance to it. It seems the essence
+
+of this pact has consumed the weapon you had bound
+with and made it one with the falchion you made
+
+this pact with oh so long ago.
+
+TRAVIS: I try and keep my– (clears throat) Fu–
+Make it disappear again. Has anybody woken up? Are
+
+any eyes open at all?
+
+MATT: At the moment, no.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll lay back down and go to sleep.
+
+MATT: That’s where we’ll take our break.
+
+TRAVIS: Holy shit!
+
+MATT: We’ll be right back, guys. As a reminder, we
+do have our giveaway tonight. We have the wenge
+
+hero vault, which is the awesome dark wood color
+from our friends at Wyrmwood. You can contain your
+
+dice or your character model. This will go to
+whoever wins tonight’s giveaway. Once again, if
+
+you are in the U.S or in Canada, you are capable
+of winning this tonight, unless you are in Quebec,
+
+unfortunately. Come on into the Twitch chat right
+now. The keyword for tonight’s “harvest.” You can
+
+only enter once. If you enter more than once, you
+will be unfortunately disqualified from this.
+
+We’ll come back at the end of the break to give
+this to the winner, so we’ll see you guys here in
+
+a few minutes. Thanks so much.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, you crazy motherfucker!
+
+MATT: (evil laughter)
+
+(break)
+
+MATT: Welcome back everybody! First off we have–
+
+TRAVIS: Wow, good call back.
+
+TALIESIN: You did great.
+
+MATT: Wow, that’s my wife, ladies and gentlemen.
+Our winner for this evening, for the wonderful
+
+wenge hero vault is Darkone_Nightshade.
+
+ALL: Woo!
+
+MATT: Congratulations, Danoba will get your
+contact info and get that sent out to you,
+
+congrats. All righty, so as you guys all come to
+consciousness, in the cold, desolate dark space
+
+within this long abandoned research facility from
+the Age of Arcanum, you stiffly get off the
+
+ground, collect your stuff. What do you want to
+do?
+
+MARISHA: I do a few push ups to get warmed up.
+
+MATT: Gotcha. Beau’s doing her morning routine.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, some squats.
+
+SAM: Oh, we did a long rest-y?
+
+LAURA: Yes, we did a long-y rest-y.
+
+ASHLEY: I would like to sit and attune to the
+sword.
+
+MATT: You attuned to the blade, perfect.
+
+SAM: Caleb, you were not, I don’t want to jinx it
+or anything, but I don’t think that you were hit
+
+in any of the fights yesterday, were you?
+
+LIAM: That is not correct. I was not hit in the
+final fight.
+
+SAM: But you remained pretty much unscathed.
+
+LIAM: I made out better than usual, yes.
+
+SAM: And that was the only day that you let me put
+flowers in your hair, right?
+
+LIAM: Okay. I see where you are going.
+
+SAM: I’m saying, maybe, sometimes old wives’ tales
+are true!
+
+LIAM: Well I am not much of a believer in old
+wives’ tales, but I do like trial and error, so if
+
+you would like to do it again today–
+
+SAM: As an experiment.
+
+LIAM: As an experiment, yes.
+
+SAM: This is a focus group test thing. I don’t
+know.
+
+MARISHA: It’s true. You need more than one
+example.
+
+SAM: True. Sample size.
+
+LIAM: Do we have any more flowers?
+
+SAM: I have a lot.
+
+MARISHA: Got to find that average.
+
+TRAVIS: Standard deviation.
+
+SAM: May I?
+
+LIAM: You may.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take some time to put a little
+braid in his hair, and stick a little flower stem
+
+or two in there, and try to make a little flower
+mohawk.
+
+LIAM: How do I look?
+
+MARISHA: Like a satyr. Like in those ancient Greek
+paintings.
+
+SAM: Current Greek.
+
+LAURA and LIAM: What is Greek?
+
+TRAVIS: (robot voice) What is Greek?
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Are you all wet again?
+
+MATT: You go and inspect. No, there is no–
+
+LAURA: No dampness?
+
+MATT: No sea-foam froth, though there is a bit of
+dried blood at the corner of Fjord’s mouth.
+
+SAM: Dried blood?
+
+LAURA: Fjord, you have a little something right
+here.
+
+SAM: Did you shave?
+
+LAURA: Did you bite your lip?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, I fucking grind my teeth.
+
+SAM: You should wear a bite guard.
+
+LAURA: Is that why–? Is it a sleep thing?
+
+TRAVIS: No, no, nope. Just bit myself in my sleep,
+that’s all.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, is that why what?
+
+LAURA: Is that why, well you know.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Well I don’t want to say
+anything. I’m afraid it will offend him.
+
+SAM: You can say it to me then.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Well, most of the half-orcs
+I’ve seen have bigger tusks. (loudly) It’s okay,
+
+Fjord, if you don’t have a big tusk! It’s not a
+big deal!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, big tusks.
+
+LAURA: It’s totally fine!
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you, Jester. I appreciate–
+
+SAM: Is that an indication of other body parts? Do
+you have anything there? Do you have nubs? What
+
+are those?
+
+LIAM: Why don’t you pull down your lower lip and
+show us what’s going on in there, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yup, I pull down my lower lip.
+
+SAM: What do we see?
+
+MARISHA: Does he have a cool lip tattoo?
+
+TRAVIS: You see very short, nubby teeth, with
+scratches and divots and chips on the top.
+
+SAM: On all of the teeth?
+
+TRAVIS: Just on the–
+
+LAURA: (sympathetic) Just on the tusks!
+
+SAM: You had said that you did your own dental
+work at one point. Did you do that? On purpose?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I did.
+
+SAM: Why?
+
+MARISHA: Couldn’t afford a root canal?
+
+TRAVIS: That would have been a better excuse. When
+I was younger, they used to make fun of my teeth.
+
+LAURA: Who?
+
+TRAVIS: Kids can be cruel so I decided to take
+away the target that was most easily available for them.
+
+LIAM: Did you grow up with people who did not have
+tusks like you? So you were different?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, at the time there weren’t any others
+like me. I feel like I was especially picked on
+
+for my teeth.
+
+LIAM: Insight check.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+MARISHA: My childhood damage– Insight check!
+
+LIAM: Just a ten, not great.
+
+MATT: As a note, generally you can say “do I
+believe him?” and I’ll tell you to make an insight
+
+check. It’s not “I’m going to use an Insight Check
+action!”
+
+SAM: But insight check is so much dickisher.
+
+LAURA: It really is. Do you still feel the same
+way about your teeth?
+
+TRAVIS: Not necessarily. It became a habit.
+
+LAURA: You have to continue to do it?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure I don’t have to. It’s like people
+who chew their nails, I guess.
+
+ASHLEY: They will always grow back, even if
+you–?
+
+TRAVIS: They are persistent.
+
+LIAM: How quickly do they come back?
+
+TRAVIS: Not super fast.
+
+LAURA: Is that why you have blood on your mouth?
+Were you filing your teeth last night?
+
+TRAVIS: No. I think I bit my lip.
+
+MARISHA: I hate it when that happens.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, right, and then you bite it again
+the next day.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I believe him?
+
+MATT: You can make an insight check.
+
+TALIESIN: One.
+
+MARISHA: 800?
+
+LAURA: Is that nine?
+
+MARISHA: It’s nine? It’s 1,000?
+
+LAURA: No way!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m rolling so well.
+
+SAM: Did you do any other bod mod to yourself
+growing up?
+
+TRAVIS: Bod mod? No, I did not.
+
+ASHLEY: Did you kill any of the children that made
+fun of you?
+
+MARISHA: Children are assholes.
+
+TRAVIS: No. I didn’t have that sort of a streak in
+me then.
+
+SAM: Yasha, did you kill any of your fellow
+children growing up?
+
+ASHLEY: If you have to go to battle, if you have a
+challenge, you kill somebody.
+
+TALIESIN: If you kill them, then they’re not
+really your friends, are they?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Exactly.
+
+TRAVIS: I was a bit tougher than most of the other
+kids. I felt like I could take the physical
+
+poking, but the jeering, I–
+
+LAURA: The emotional poking was too much!
+
+LIAM: This is many years later, though. I can’t
+imagine that any of us would even blink at tusks.
+
+TRAVIS: You know, it’s not even really that
+intentional. I’ll find myself picking at them
+
+every once in a while.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you ever want them to stay there?
+
+TRAVIS: Like to grow back?
+
+LIAM and ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, there are times. I’ve seen them:
+other half orcs with the teeth.
+
+LAURA: The guy in Tusk Love had them.
+
+TRAVIS: He did, yeah. I feel like it’s a trait
+that exemplifies the rougher side of my race, so
+
+sometimes I wish I had them, and sometimes I’m
+glad I don’t.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, well you know for many of us, our
+early days are always with us. I understand.
+
+SAM: This is how you see yourself, right?
+
+TRAVIS: I think it’s how I’d like to see myself.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, it’s how we see you.
+
+LAURA: I think you would look fine either way,
+Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I mean we’re too distracted with
+our own personal damage.
+
+TRAVIS: You saying I should let them grow out?
+
+LAURA: I’m saying if you want to, you would look
+good that way as well. You look good this way, you
+
+would look good that way.
+
+LIAM: Co-signed.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, fair. How about, you see me
+picking at them, or chipping at them or any of
+
+that shit, you just say the word and I’ll stop.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: The wind blows through the distant tunnels
+above, and for a minute you all shiver as the cold
+
+wind finds its way down below. Except for you,
+you’re fine.
+
+LAURA: I’m good. Warm blooded.
+
+SAM: Should we go back to The Gentleman?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s probably time.
+
+LIAM: So cloak on your back. Sword on the cloak.
+
+LAURA: Nott on the sword.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but we don’t have to do that now! We
+have a whole boat trip to go.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Sword up the butt!
+
+SAM: No!
+
+LAURA: (singing) Yep, straight up.
+
+SAM: Absolutely not.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Just like a puppet!
+
+SAM: No.
+
+ASHLEY: Is this a bad– should I stay outside or
+something?
+
+LIAM: There is no. We are going on. We are going
+right through their territory.
+
+LAURA: If he notices it, then he notices it, if he
+doesn’t, then he doesn’t.
+
+MARISHA: Then we bribe him with the information on
+the teleportation circle.
+
+ASHLEY: Or he can challenge me, and I can, you
+know.
+
+LIAM: We are a very convincing group, I think we
+can talk our way through that.
+
+LAURA: I’m really good at lying.
+
+LIAM: You have your ways. Well, the morning is
+getting on, shall we?
+
+LAURA: Let’s get in the boats.
+
+LIAM: Hans and Franz, will you please muscle us up
+this stream?
+
+MATT: Are you guys taking the same boat
+arrangements?
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+ASHLEY: Hans and Franz?
+
+MATT: The two of you are helming it. You know the
+time of day, even though you are below the
+
+surface, keeping tracking of this because of your
+feat. It’s roughly six in the morning. It’s very
+
+early because you guys went to bed fairly early.
+You guys begin to make your way up the river now,
+
+going against the current, muscling your way up
+and up further and further still. You come across
+
+the area where you had the initial confrontation
+with the darkmantles and begin to push and push.
+
+LAURA: Harder because there’re things there.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check, both of you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Eyes on the ceiling as well because
+that’s where danger came from.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Eyes on the side where the rock guys
+were.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+ASHLEY: I got 20. Not a natural.
+
+LAURA: She rolled well. This a strength check?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Five!
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys continue to go
+forward, Yasha pushes on, manages to gain ground.
+
+Jester, while doing fine yesterday, trying to do
+the advanced pushes, you’re still making it up the
+
+stream, but you’re still a little sore from the
+night before.
+
+MARISHA: She did rowing yesterday.
+
+MATT: Yeah. However, you’re not making any loud
+noises at the moment. As you glance up, none of
+
+the darkmantles– you look up and you can see now
+there are a few that are adhered to the ceiling,
+
+but they don’t seem to have noticed your presence
+yet. As you’re rowing through, you’re falling
+
+behind. You manage to get through unnoticed and
+actually way above the one boat. I need all the
+
+rest of you to make stealth checks. She’s not on
+your boat, which would be Jester, Beau, Molly.
+
+LAURA: Oh, Blessing of the Trickster, sure. On
+you.
+
+LIAM: It feels so weird, still, with stealth
+checks, to only be able to add a one when I used
+
+to add 9,000.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+LIAM: Still feels weird.
+
+LAURA: You get advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, that’s way better! Thank you. A 17.
+
+MARISHA: 24.
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+TALIESIN: 21.
+
+LAURA: To be fair, I am rowing.
+
+MATT: As you begin to row past to continue, quiet
+as you can, and with sound of the oars, it matches
+
+the slow– it’s a little bit of volume based on
+the river flow, but it doesn’t seem to cause
+
+enough of a ruckus to draw the attention of the
+darkmantles above and the two earthen-based stone
+
+and vine creatures that you had originally seen
+emerge don’t seem to notice your presence as you
+
+slowly make your way past this part of the tunnel,
+eventually, catching up or at least a little bit
+
+behind Yasha and their group. As you continue
+forward, I need both of the boat rowers to make a
+
+constitution check, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Boat rowers!
+
+LIAM: Are we past those statues?
+
+LAURA: (exaggerated Southern accent) I’m rowing a boat!
+
+LIAM: Slowly by.
+
+LAURA: (exaggerated Southern accent) That’s a 13.
+
+MATT: Yasha, constitution check please.
+
+ASHLEY: Uh oh.
+
+LIAM: Don’t you have the heart of an ox?
+
+ASHLEY: A seven.
+
+MATT: A seven. You gain a point of exhaustion.
+Going against the stream in itself and pushing up
+
+and with the extended push of your muscles to get
+through that last bit, it’s beginning to take its
+
+toll on you and your muscles being to seize up.
+
+LAURA: It’s because you went so fast through the
+other area. You have to pace yourself.
+
+MATT: You gain a point of exhaustion. With that
+last bit, you guys manage to make your way up the
+
+rest of this underground river. It takes a little
+while, but eventually you see ahead the dull green
+
+glow of the various small lanterns that were
+affixed to the interior of the river cavern
+
+entrance and there you can see the docks on the
+side. As you approach, waiting for you, sitting in
+
+the same position up there, that older,
+crusty-looking fella named Rodel, who you had met
+
+on the way out, and Kara, leaning against the back
+wall.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: Looks like she’s asleep in the corner,
+sitting in a small chair and not–
+
+TRAVIS: (whistles)
+
+MATT: “Oh! Oh, you’ve returned. Rodel!” He wakes
+up. (grunts) They eventually get over there and
+
+help you get the boats over there. They tie off
+the ropes and you guys make your way up out of the
+
+water, out of the boats, and onto the dockside.
+She goes, “You’ve returned! I see that you aren’t
+
+any worse for wear. How did it go?”
+
+LAURA: We killed stuff! We are really badass!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it was not really much of a test for
+us.
+
+TALIESIN: There was a lot in there, though.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: So many undead blobs. Lot of undead
+blobs.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough. Well, let’s get you back there
+and talk to the boss, if he’s awake. He should
+
+be.” She pulls out the blindfolds again, passes
+them out.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we just, forego those? I feel like
+this is going to be the beginning of a very
+
+fruitful relationship, surely.
+
+MATT: “I understand that, but this is the boss’s
+orders. I’m sorry.”
+
+MARISHA: The boss is still asleep, you said.
+
+LAURA: No, she said he was probably awake.
+
+MATT: “I don’t think you understand. It’s the
+boss’s orders. I can’t just go against them.”
+
+MARISHA: All right. Let’s go be blindfolded.
+
+LIAM: We don’t want to rock the boat here, by all
+means.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. Please.” She passes out
+blindfolds to you guys. You figure out an order of
+
+making your way down and as you made your way to
+this portion of the cavern, you walk back, being
+
+lead by Kara through the Underworks.
+
+LIAM: Do I see anything of note through Frumpkin’s
+eyes as we walk?
+
+MATT: Same path as you went last time, not as
+busy. Nobody else is walking through the halls.
+
+It’s early enough where there isn’t much. You do
+come past that chamber before where you saw the
+
+cages in there and there’s two more cages set
+inside, even larger. One of them is a heavy meshed
+
+series of metal. You don’t hear anything in
+there.
+
+LIAM: Can I tell what’s inside there?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Come on, Frumpkin.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Doesn’t matter.
+
+MARISHA: That’s pretty bad.
+
+LIAM: Pretty bad. Yeah, both bad. Real low. Five.
+
+MATT: You do not, unfortunately. It’s too dark in
+the distance at this point. It’s too late.
+
+Eventually making your way up through a series of
+steps to a ladder and then you all can take your
+
+blindfolds off. You recall being led down to this
+chamber. At this point, Kara says, “We’re almost
+
+there.” She climbs up the ladder and opens a trap
+door that leads into a small chamber. You guys
+
+follow her up inside a storage room where there
+are sacks of food and barrels of all sorts of
+
+alcohol, ale, water, and whatever else materials
+are being kept down here. Going through a door not
+
+but two feet from that open hatch into the
+familiar interior of the true Evening Nip tavern.
+
+SAM: Before we go in, I’m going to try to tug on
+Yasha’s leg. Don’t you want to carry me? My legs
+
+are a little achy.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, yes.
+
+MARISHA: By the scruff.
+
+TRAVIS: Right up the butt.
+
+SAM: Ah! I try to find a position.
+
+ASHLEY: Try to settle the cloak to–
+
+MATT: Did you leave your moon sword behind? Or do
+you still have it with you?
+
+ASHLEY: I still have it with me. Was I supposed to
+leave it behind?
+
+MATT: No, it’s up to you. Meaning, if you have the
+sword that you had in the sheath that the moon
+
+sword was in right now, or at least tucked in
+there briefly because it’s a little wider than the
+
+sword you had previously had so it’s going to
+carve through. It’ll hold, it but the scabbard’s probably–
+
+ASHLEY: I want to keep it so maybe we can sell the
+Moon-Touched Sword. Could we have put it in the–
+
+TALIESIN: We could have strapped them both to your
+back.
+
+LAURA: Well the Moon-touched Sword, is it small
+enough to fit in the bag or is it–?
+
+MATT: Barely. Just barely. I’d say you can
+probably get that in there.
+
+ASHLEY: Sorry. I totally forgot about that.
+
+MATT: Just making sure we knew about that. As you
+enter the chamber, the light is lower. It looks
+
+like only three of the interior torches are
+currently glowing. There is no barkeep at the bar
+
+and there are no patrons in there. The ogre
+guard is there in the corner. Looks a little
+
+groggy and recently come to consciousness and is
+feasting on a whole side of pig that has been
+
+cured and salted. It hasn’t been butchered,
+literally tearing off the bone of the half of the
+
+pig and sees you enter and (grunts) and continues
+eating. On the balcony across the way, as soon as
+
+you enter, you can see at the top, there is the
+female goliath, Sorah, who is standing there and
+
+looking down at you as you enter and gives a head
+nod of acknowledgement. Kara goes, “Sorry, Sorah.
+
+Is The Gentleman awake? They’ve returned. Like to
+talk to him, please.” Sorah turns around and pulls
+
+open– You can look behind now, what little bit of
+light there is a drawn, heavy curtain that blocks
+
+the interior behind and goes, “Boss, the Nein
+have returned.” Some voices on the inside and a
+
+voice goes, “Ah. Just a moment. I’m sorry. Got
+some business.” Then coming out from behind the
+
+curtain, you see The Gentleman in this long deep
+purple silk robe that is tied around the waist and
+
+goes, “(laughter) Well, you’ve returned.”
+
+LAURA: (fake wolf whistles)
+
+MATT: “Indeed. Well, have a seat, please.
+(claps loudly) Some food, please.”
+
+SAM: We’ll stand.
+
+ASHLEY: Just lean up against the wall while.
+
+MARISHA: Bacon. I want bacon.
+
+MATT: “Bacon, please. Get these friends some
+bacon! My god. I’ll be right down.” He goes back
+
+into the chamber. You hear some other voices and a
+slight giggle and then Sorah enters the chamber
+
+after him. A few moments pass and then one of the
+doors on the bottom area opens up and Sorah steps
+
+out, holds the door aside and The Gentleman, who’s
+still in his robe but now has pants and boots on,
+
+enters the chamber and goes, “(laughter) Well,
+early risers. I’m not going to lie, we were sad to
+
+see you not return sooner and had assumed that
+perhaps you had not survived so this is a great,
+
+gracious celebration of your return.” He goes and
+sits down behind his usual chair.
+
+TRAVIS: Apologies for our poor timing. Hopefully
+we weren’t interrupting?
+
+LAURA: Early in the morning.
+
+MATT: “What? Was having breakfast. Anyway. You’re
+alive, a little worse for wear. I see some scuffs
+
+around the edges. Tell me all about it. What did
+you do?”
+
+TRAVIS: Really not that big of a deal. There were
+some will-o’-wisps, some floating spirits.
+
+TALIESIN: Quite a few will-o’-wisps.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so many will-o’-wisps. Did you know
+you just have to break a vase and you kill a will-o’-wisp?
+
+MATT: “I did not but good to know.”
+
+MARISHA: There’s like ash all over the place now.
+Sorry about that.
+
+TALIESIN: Quite a few traps.
+
+MATT: “Right.”
+
+TALIESIN: Was there a gelatinous cube at one
+point?
+
+TRAVIS: There was, actually, yes.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, this big cube came down from the
+ceiling and it tried to eat us.
+
+MATT: “That’s terrifying.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed.
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty scary.
+
+TRAVIS: Good thing you sent the pros. Amateurs
+probably would have had a worse time.
+
+MARISHA: Found lots of skeletons along the way.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: And exactly six rings for you.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: You are not Scanlan anymore!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: “(chuckles) Really?”
+
+TALIESIN: I smack her on the back of the head.
+
+SAM: You can’t reach.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s right! You’re up. I swat.
+
+TRAVIS: There was a fair amount of jewelry. There
+was.
+
+MARISHA: We also found a decent amount of fine art
+for you.
+
+LAURA: Oh yes! I pull out the vases. Look at these
+antiques!
+
+MATT: He pulls one out. Inspects it.
+
+LAURA: Careful, they’re very old.
+
+MATT: “Of course. I’m a collector myself. It’s
+fine. This is beautiful make. This is
+
+pre-Divergence as well. (chuckles).”
+
+LAURA: I bet they’re worth a whole of money then,
+huh?
+
+MATT: “Oh, most certainly! To the right people,
+they can be worth quite a bit.”
+
+LAURA: We found some candlesticks too.
+
+ASHLEY: Also some candlesticks.
+
+MATT: “All right.” You produce the candelabra.
+“These six rings, you say.”
+
+LAURA: It was seven. I give one of the extra
+rings.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Jester.
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t keep mine.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I know.
+
+TRAVIS: Look, we know who has them. We know.
+
+LAURA: 16?
+
+MATT: He goes, “Well, thank you for your honesty.
+Anything else?” He gives a very intense look
+
+across each of your faces. “You would like to
+inform me that you found, encountered, any
+
+warnings? We’re going back in after there to clear
+out whatever remains behind so we want to make
+
+sure we’re prepared.”
+
+LAURA: I think we killed everything.
+
+LIAM: No, you don’t want to get pantsed. We did
+not kill everything entirely. There are some
+
+critters on the roof of the river passage. Nothing
+major, you just want to have your eyes on the
+
+ceiling as you go through.
+
+MATT: “Of course. We know of that.”
+
+LAURA: We see two rock creatures that were really
+big but they’re really slow so bolt on past them
+
+and they won’t be able to catch you.
+
+MATT: “Right, but within this facility itself?”
+
+TRAVIS: There was a destroyed– looks like a
+transportation circle inside.
+
+LIAM: Yes. To be honest, it looks like it was
+possibly looted some time long ago.
+
+MARISHA: There wasn’t a lot left.
+
+LIAM: Whatever has inhabited the place in recent
+years or in recent centuries has been removed.
+
+LAURA: There were a lot of burned books.
+
+TRAVIS: Bodies. Lots of bodies.
+
+SAM: Traps, which I deftly dismantled.
+
+LAURA: Mostly be careful walking on them. You’ll
+see them.
+
+SAM: Pressure plates in the lower floor.
+
+LAURA: They’re pretty obvious now.
+
+MATT: At this point, food begins to be brought
+from the far kitchen. You can see the person who
+
+had just woken up has been rushing to make
+whatever meats are available and has been cooking.
+
+The smell begins to permeate and it’s coming out
+piecemeal, as they’re ready.
+
+TALIESIN: Once we’ve figured out that the
+will-o’-wisps were coming from pots we just broke
+
+anything that looked like it might contain one.
+
+MATT: “All right. Is that all? I would like to
+specify that I despise falsehood, and our
+
+relationship is based on honesty and trust.”
+
+LAURA: Well, there were two paths in the river,
+and the second path lead to a waterfall. I don’t
+
+know what was at the top of the waterfall. There
+could be a chamber up there. I don’t know. The
+
+other side lead to the thing.
+
+TALIESIN: A lot of images on the wall. Weird magic
+stuff.
+
+MARISHA: Oh! There was this floor with this relief
+in it of these two faces, and Fjord put some coins
+
+in it. It opened up and he collapsed and fell in a
+pit. It was super fun.
+
+MATT: “What was in the pit?”
+
+TRAVIS: A lot of bodies.
+
+MATT: “Anything else?”
+
+ASHLEY: Probably the two leftover coins that he
+put in the eyeballs are still there.
+
+TRAVIS: Four, because there were two pairs.
+
+LAURA: Is there anything else?
+
+SAM: Nope.
+
+LAURA: We’re the worst.
+
+TALIESIN: Possibly a probing question would remind
+some things. I’m trying to remember. It was a bit daunting.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. So tired.
+
+MATT: “So there was nothing else?”
+
+MARISHA: No, we stayed up all night trying to get
+back here.
+
+LAURA: We almost died.
+
+MATT: “Is that all you found and recovered?”
+
+LAURA: (mumbling) I could look in my bag.
+
+MATT: He’s done business before and is looking
+very intently across all of your faces.
+
+TRAVIS: I start eating.
+
+MATT: “You’re dodging my question. That doesn’t
+make me comfortable. That doesn’t make me trust you.”
+
+MARISHA: There’s just no answer further.
+
+MATT: “You’re telling me that’s all you found?”
+
+ASHLEY: What were you looking for, anyway?
+
+MATT: “Nothing. I wish to be informed that that is
+the end of your recovery.”
+
+MARISHA: You knew going in here it was heavily
+looted and raided. We brought you several pieces–
+
+MATT: “I’m going to go out on a limb here and
+inform you that, as much as you try to doublespeak
+
+me, that I’ve been a master far longer than you
+have.”
+
+LIAM: Give him the book.
+
+MARISHA: (sigh) Caleb, we talked about this.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and we said that we’d give him the
+book, so I’m a little confused.
+
+ASHLEY: No!
+
+MARISHA: All right, man. Been in the business
+longer than we have. I toss him the research notebook.
+
+MATT: He catches it.
+
+MARISHA: Here’s the precious research you were
+looking for.
+
+MATT: “All right. Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: You’re welcome.
+
+MATT: “Is that all of it?”
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck! Who, just me? Can he help me?
+
+LIAM: I said no at the same time. Can she aid me?
+
+MATT: I’ll say sure. I’ll give you advantage on
+this. Because you both–
+
+LIAM: I have very good charisma.
+
+MATT: She’s rolling.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20. Thank you! Yeah!
+Motherfucking liars!
+
+SAM: Unfortunately, we have to take $100 away from
+826LA.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: I’m sorry kids. It’s really a shame.
+
+MATT: We didn’t think this through. At that point,
+he sits back comfortably. “Very well. Thank you so
+
+much. I’m impressed. I am happy. Keep the rings. I
+said you can take something back with you, and
+
+you’ve done your job. You’ve proven yourselves
+very trustworthy. Please, at your leisure. Take
+
+solace in knowing that your friend, Horris, is
+safely on his way to Berleben.”
+
+SAM: Seemingly?
+
+MATT: “Safely.”
+
+LAURA: Do I believe him?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+MARISHA: Come on. There’s been one too many
+“seemingly"s.
+
+LAURA: Is that an 11 or a 17?
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+LAURA: 17? 21? Yeah, that’s a 17. 21!
+
+MATT: He’s being completely honest.
+
+LAURA: He’s being honest!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s great! I appreciate you seeing him
+to safety.
+
+MATT: "Of course.” He snaps his fingers, and over
+by the curved stairway that leads down in here,
+
+two gentlemen that were sitting there in the
+shadows, unseen before, sit up. He goes, “Go on!”,
+
+and they both get up and leave up the stairs. He
+goes, “I’ve now initiated my means of getting you
+
+folks and most likely, Dolan, off the hook for the
+murder of the High-Richter. It may take some time,
+
+a day or two, maybe more, but have some faith in
+my abilities. Just lay low for a few days, if you
+
+don’t mind.”
+
+LAURA: We’re really good at that.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll do our humble best.
+
+MARISHA: Will we get confirmation, word from you,
+that the deed has been done?
+
+MATT: “If all goes well, you won’t need it from
+me. With that, I call that a bargain met on all
+
+sides. Wouldn’t you?” He takes a little piece of
+burnt pork off the table. “Congratulations. You
+
+have my favor, Mighty Nein.” He turns to Fjord.
+“If you ever need me, come find me. If I should
+
+need you, I’ll find you. Now, off! I have to
+finish my breakfast, and my breakfast.”
+
+TRAVIS: Baller.
+
+MARISHA: I take the leftover bacon strips, and I
+shove them in my pocket.
+
+LIAM: I’m disappointed that we don’t have real
+bacon right now!
+
+MARISHA: I give half of my bacon to Caleb. Here
+you go.
+
+LIAM: But less, you need the protein.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you still keep the blood vials that
+you–
+
+MATT: “Oh yes, of course. We keep those for anyone
+we do business with. Sure. Standard procedure, I’m sorry.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Okay.
+
+SAM: It’s fine, Yasha. After all, I have an empty
+vial with his saliva in it, so we have that too.
+
+MATT: He just stares.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for your consideration and time.
+We’ll be in touch, shall we?
+
+MATT: “Of course. Be safe.” Finishes his meal,
+glaring at Nott on your way out. As you guys exit
+
+the bottom of The Evening Nip up into the proper
+top of the tavern, you step out. Looking out, you
+
+can see the morning sun has risen. It’s still
+early morning at this point in time. It’s probably
+
+eight o'clock in the morning at this point.
+
+SAM and LAURA: What a day.
+
+MARISHA: That was awesome.
+
+LAURA: We have stuff to sell!
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go pawn some things.
+
+LAURA: Should we go do that now or should we lay
+low for a little bit and make sure that he doesn’t
+
+have anyone following us?
+
+TRAVIS: He can follow us. That’s fine.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go back to The Leaky Tap.
+
+LIAM: Help me remember, DM, did we have a way to
+get in contact with Dolan?
+
+MATT: Dolan was left at his home. That’s the last
+you saw, just him at his home.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right. You sure you don’t want to
+sell off any of your extra wares?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s clear some things out.
+
+LAURA: We do have some rings to sell, I guess, if
+we wanted to.
+
+MARISHA: We have those chains. We could–
+
+LAURA: Did you ever look at those chains? Did you
+look at the mantacles?
+
+LIAM: What mantacles?
+
+LAURA: The mantacles. To see if they were
+magical.
+
+LIAM: This is the first I am hearing of the
+manacles.
+
+TALIESIN: We didn’t actually tell him about the
+manacles.
+
+MARISHA: We found a dead guy. In chains.
+
+TALIESIN: A very dead guy.
+
+MARISHA: Do you think that people are going to
+start being suspicious of us if we keep selling
+
+magical manacles?
+
+LAURA: We should probably stop going to–
+
+MARISHA: The same blacksmith?
+
+LAURA: Maybe not to Pumat Sol for a little bit.
+
+LIAM: Maybe Pumat has a competitor in a town this
+big.
+
+LAURA: I’m sure.
+
+LIAM: Why don’t we wait until we’re back at The
+Leaky Tap before I look at these manacles you
+
+have? I would, if possible, like to swing past
+Dolan’s house, if that’s okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t see why not.
+
+TRAVIS: Put him at ease?
+
+MARISHA: Let him know that Horris is out of town.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and before he died, he gave me
+something that I think Dolan would want to have.
+
+Ulog, before Ulog died.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Yeah, of course. Head back that way.
+
+SAM: As we get clear of the bar, (popping) I’m
+going to get down off of Yasha.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve been waiting for that for too
+long.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s very strange how you’re very dense.
+
+SAM: It’s all muscle.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel it’s a lot heavier than you look.
+
+SAM: I’m a cool 45 pounds, yo!
+
+LAURA: You should probably take a bath.
+
+SAM: Yes, I guess so.
+
+LAURA: Nott, I know you don’t like water, but this
+is an extreme version.
+
+SAM: Maybe I could wipe myself clean with a dry
+towel.
+
+LAURA: I think probably at least a damp towel?
+
+LIAM: This is surprising coming from me, but I
+agree with that sentiment. You are covered in dead person.
+
+TALIESIN: Several.
+
+MARISHA: Several dead people.
+
+TALIESIN: Specifically their feet.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll think about it.
+
+MATT: As you guys begin to walk along the streets
+of Zadash here in the morning air, the cloud cover
+
+in the sky still gray, sunless, cool. You can see
+the mist of the town is now finally burning off,
+
+but the gray day is still cool and welcoming.
+You’re going to Dolan’s house? You make your way
+
+towards Dolan’s, trying to still dodge too much
+attention from the crownsguard, which
+
+thankfully–
+
+MARISHA: Especially Molly and I.
+
+MATT: Not too strong at this point. They still are
+trying to prevent people from entering and
+
+exiting, but there are still patrols that go
+through. You make your way carefully through, this
+
+point in the morning, towards the exterior of
+Dolan’s hut.
+
+MARISHA: As we’re walking, I lean over to Fjord,
+and I go: Something’s been bothering me. The
+
+Gentleman said that it was Ulog that arranged and
+leaked the information to the Xhorhasian
+
+assassins. What would be his motive for doing
+that, if he only really cared about getting his
+
+wife free? Or at least revenge for his wife.
+
+TRAVIS: I think he was trying to upset the
+government, right? Create fractures, hope pressure
+
+would make things snap in the end?
+
+MARISHA: I hope so. Feels like a big task for one
+person. How would he have those connections?
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe he’s been hedging his bets for a
+while. Good to keep in mind.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys come up to the exterior of Dolan’s
+home. It’s dark on the inside.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d normally, but I feel like he knows
+you.
+
+LIAM: You come with me because you’ve spoken to
+him more than I have.
+
+TRAVIS: Walk up. Double tap, followed by a
+single.
+
+MATT: A moment passes, and the door (lock clicks,
+creak). Dolan’s head peeks out. “Gentlemen, it’s
+
+good to see you. What news have you?”
+
+LIAM: Only a moment of your time. I’m a little
+embarrassed that I did not remember this the other
+
+day, but it was quite an evening that night.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+LIAM: When Ulog was in that house, he found
+something that I think you should have. Shortly
+
+before he expired, he shoved it into my hand. I
+pull out those papers that he found about the
+
+wife. It’s a little frayed, he shoved it into my
+hand. We are lucky that it did not burn up, but
+
+take this, please.
+
+MATT: “Of course. I’ll see what I can do. Things
+are a bit tense right now, of course.”
+
+LIAM: When it makes sense.
+
+MATT: “Of course. How is Horris?”
+
+TRAVIS: Safe.
+
+LIAM: On his way.
+
+MATT: “Oh, thank god.”
+
+TRAVIS: To Berleben.
+
+MATT: “To Berleben? That’s far enough away, I
+think, from any influence here. Thank you. Thank
+
+you so much.”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. It was the least we can do. We
+trust with this information and the right things
+
+occurring in the next few days, you can find your
+way to some prosperous moves for this city.
+
+MATT: “I hope so.”
+
+LAIM: A lot of bad things are happening now. It
+would be nice if one good thing could come of it all.
+
+MATT: “That would be. I’d like to see a turn for
+the right in this city, or another, at least.
+
+There is right in this city. There are good
+people. As terrible as the death of the
+
+High-Richter may be, in essence I think much good
+may come out of it, in the long run.”
+
+LIAM: It’s entirely up to you now, isn’t it?
+
+MATT: “We shall see. Anyway, you musn’t be seen
+dilly dallying along at this home, just in case.
+
+Thank you for the update, thank you for Horris,
+and good luck, friends. I do hope we meet again
+
+soon, in better times.”
+
+LIAM: Tschüß.
+
+MATT: Closes the door, locks it behind.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice.
+
+LIAM: Broken clock twice a day. Come on.
+
+MATT: Are you guys heading back to The Leaky Tap?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you head back to The Leaky Tap,
+people are starting to come to consciousness and
+
+exit the building. The street becomes a little
+more bustling. One of the barkers, one of the town
+
+criers that you had seen before when you arrived
+begins coming down the street, and begins doing
+
+his shouts. “Harvest Close comes on the third of
+Fessuran! Harvest Close comes on the third of
+
+Fessuran!” and continues walking past.
+
+MARISHA: We could enter in a contest and fight for
+the Harvest Festival, right?
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, there was something about that.
+
+TRAVIS: Really? Just for sport?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Maybe there’s prize money or
+something.
+
+TRAVIS: That could be a nice change of pace.
+
+MARISHA: I like fighting people for fun.
+
+MATT: You get closer to The Leaky Tap and see
+another female–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, in the Victory Pit!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s it.
+
+MATT: Another town crier comes by, younger female,
+with the big tabard and the scroll as she walks by
+
+says, “Conflict at the Xhorhasian border grows
+violent! Watch your children at night!”
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Hide your kids! Hide your
+wife!
+
+MATT: “Conflict at the Xhorhasian border grows
+violent! Watch your children at night!” She
+
+continues walking.
+
+LAURA: What happened to the children?
+
+MATT: She looks back at you, “I’m just reading the
+paper.”
+
+ASHLEY: May I have one of those?
+
+MATT: “It’s for me to read from. I have one.
+No–”
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to look at it, and then I’m
+going to give it back to you. Does it say any more?
+
+MATT: On this, it has the Xhorhasian note, and it
+has the Harvest Close coming the third of
+
+Fessuran. Those are the two notes of the day.
+
+ASHLEY: You literally just– that’s all that’s on
+there.
+
+MATT: “That’s my job.”
+
+MARISHA: Hey!
+
+MATT: “Ah!”
+
+MARISHA: Where do we sign up for the Victory Pit?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know.”
+
+MARISHA: Tell me. You know!
+
+TRAVIS: You want to tell her.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check. Sure.
+
+MARISHA: We had a long-ass night.
+
+MATT: With advantage.
+
+MARISHA: With advantage?
+
+LIAM: Marisha, your theme with children
+continues.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: She is not a child!
+
+MARISHA: What am I doing, intimidation? 14. She is
+not a child.
+
+MATT: (Stammering)
+
+MARISHA: There’s a rec center, community
+service–
+
+MATT: No, at the Victory Pit. It’s in the
+Pentamarket, probably. I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, it’s all you had to tell me.
+
+MARISHA: She takes the paper from Yasha and darts
+off down the street.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s not a verbal learner.
+
+MARISHA: I liked her.
+
+TALIESIN: I could tell.
+
+LAURA: I start yelling out: The third of the
+Fessuran is the end of the harvest!
+
+SAM: Do we know what day it is today?
+
+LAURA: Hide your kids! Hide your wife!
+
+MATT: The third of Fessuran is about five days
+away.
+
+LAURA: There’s a Victory Pit!
+
+LIAM: Passion Pit on the third of Fessuran!
+
+MATT: You guys return to The Leaky Tap and we’ll
+say for the time being, we’re going to have a few
+
+days of downtime. If there’s anything specifically
+you want to do, that’s not story-centric.
+
+LIAM: I need money! He said out of character.
+
+MARISHA: Sell shit. Sign up for the Victory Pit.
+
+MATT: All right. What are you selling?
+
+LAURA: I have a lot of rings. I should see if I
+can get any good money for some of them.
+
+MARISHA: Pawn the rings that we have.
+
+TALIESIN: Unless there’s an opal in there, I’m
+getting rid of the ring.
+
+MATT: None of the rings have gems. They’re all
+base metals, like gold and silver.
+
+LAURA: I have some fancier rings, though, from
+before.
+
+MATT: If you want to try and hock some, sure.
+
+LAURA: That were stolen from your boss?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s fine. They’re probably fake,
+then.
+
+MATT: They are.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything you took from the circus was
+not real.
+
+ASHLEY: Wasn’t The Gentleman supposed to reward
+us?
+
+TALIESIN: It was trade.
+
+MARISHA: Us not getting charged for murder was the
+reward.
+
+TRAVIS: While they’re figuring it out, on one of
+the days can I make my way by Ren Sutan’s
+
+physician’s office?
+
+MATT: You can do that. What do you want to do at
+Ren’s?
+
+TRAVIS: I want to casually look on the outside,
+see if it’s still in business, see if it’s still
+
+bustling, or if anything has come their way.
+
+MATT: Okay. You spend a little bit of time
+watching. It’s still a functional physician’s
+
+practice. People still need a physician. You can’t
+tell from a distance if it’s darkened by the
+
+arrest of Lord Sutan, but you can’t imagine it’s
+gone well within the family house. It’s still a
+
+functional facility. It’s still one of the finer
+places to go for medical purposes.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use my Mask of Many Faces, and I’ll
+adopt an older face with a gray beard and a dark
+
+hood, and can I walk into the physician’s office?
+
+MATT: Yeah, easily enough. You walk into the main
+area, and one of the clerks there with the same
+
+white robes approaches. “Can I help you, sir?”
+
+TRAVIS: (as Sean Connery) Yes, hello.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Commit to it!
+
+TRAVIS: (as Sean Connery) Is Ren Sutan there?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “What do you require of the Doctor?”
+
+TRAVIS: (as Sean Connery) Just get him.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MATT: He goes, “I’m sorry to bother you there,
+sir, but he’s not in at the moment, but we have a
+
+few of the clerks that could help you.”
+
+TRAVIS: (Sean Connery voice peters out) You don’t
+want his trouble with the Myriad to spill over to
+
+you, do you?
+
+MATT: His eyes go wide. “We have no business–”
+
+TRAVIS: Fetch him. Now.
+
+LAURA: What happened to Sean Connery?
+
+TRAVIS: I fucking lost it.
+
+SAM: (as Sean Connery) Fetch him now. I’m a
+Russian sub commander.
+
+MATT: “Very well. I’ll go fetch him.” He walks
+past you out of the–
+
+TRAVIS: (as Sean Connery) Do your best. Losers
+always whine about their best.
+
+MATT: He walks around you and exits the front of
+the facility and begins walking down the road, out
+
+of sight.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll turn and follow him.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: (as Sean Connery) I cast Hexblade.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: Okay. Bee-lining straight to the nearest
+crownsguard.
+
+TRAVIS: I will turn on my heel and use my Mask of
+Many Faces to turn into a lovely woman.
+
+MATT: A moment later, two crownsguard come
+rushing, blades drawn, behind the clerk, who’s
+
+pointing towards the front of the building, and
+they rush past you in the interior and begin to
+
+look around. They both split on the inside and
+begin going through the different rooms. It seems
+
+not only did he not believe you, but dropping the
+name of the Myriad in a public space like that,
+
+that’s immediate call to the guard for these
+guys.
+
+TRAVIS: I make my way back to The Leaky Tap.
+
+MARISHA: Wow, that’s good to know!
+
+LAURA: I want to scout out the Hearth of the
+Allhammer, the Raven’s Den in the graveyard, and
+
+the Platinum House, and see if there’s a lot of
+guards, or if there’s any of those that don’t have
+
+a lot of guards.
+
+MATT: For the most part, the places of worship,
+they’re not very prominent. They’re not huge
+
+temples. They’re kept here out of law that was
+decided upon, but they’re nice. They usually have
+
+a handful of crownsguard stationed to each, but
+it’s not like they’re under intense watch. There
+
+aren’t a lot of worshipers during certain times of
+the day.
+
+LAURA: Is there any one that seems emptier than
+other ones?
+
+MATT: Of all of them, I would say it would be the
+Raven’s Den, which is at the Ossuary Gates, which
+
+is the large, vast graveyard of most of the
+higher-ranked families of this city. The Matron of
+
+Ravens’ temple is the one that’s least attended,
+largely because, dealing with death, it’s not as
+
+bright and welcoming to the common folk.
+
+LAURA: Could I try to get in there when nobody’s
+in there?
+
+MATT: Okay. You wait for a while, and see a moment
+where it is relatively calm. The outside of the
+
+shrine is this iron obsidian archway that
+stretches up about 20 feet to frame a small
+
+shrine, topped with a statue of the Matron, and
+her ravens about her, this circle of ravens that
+
+curves around. You see the female figure standing
+in stone, the sculpture of the porcelain face–
+
+the only material that’s not the same as the
+darkened stone around her– it’s a white porcelain
+
+mask that is affixed to the front of the statue.
+At the base of it, you can see a number of bowls
+
+and offerings that have been left around from
+people that have come and passed through. Beyond
+
+that, there is a door to the small shrine behind
+it, it’s this small structure. Maybe 20 feet by
+
+ten feet. It’s not a very large shrine. You’ve
+seen groups of people that function as morticians,
+
+in long dark robes and dark clothing, that have
+entered and exited this facility. You wait for a
+
+while, as there is one body that’s being interred
+at a family plot, and then as they all begin to
+
+scatter, you see a few other leave, and at that
+moment, the interior, from what you can tell, is
+
+empty, or at least you’ve watched three
+individuals leave.
+
+LAURA: Can I get in my disguise kit and affix a
+mustache onto her porcelain mask, and put a wig on
+
+her, and then write across the bottom of it “The
+Traveler was here,” and leave a pamphlet?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+LAURA: I want to see as much as I can do in that
+amount of time before anybody comes back.
+
+MATT: Sleight of hand for the mustache.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Off to a good start. Nine.
+
+MATT: As you leap up onto the statue, and go to
+affix the mustache to it, a voice over by the
+
+shrine says, “Excuse me? Excuse me!”
+
+LAURA: Oh hello, yes?
+
+MATT: You see a pale young man, short blonde hair,
+emerge with a similar dark robe that you didn’t
+
+see in the inside of the shrine. He goes “Could
+you please– you’re not allowed to climb the statue.
+
+LAURA: There was a smudge on her face, and I know
+that the people get really pissed when there’s
+
+stuff on their statues. I was trying to clean it
+off for you.
+
+MATT: "I appreciate that– Well, thank you. It’s
+just– considered–
+
+LAURA: I rub my arm across it to try and clean it
+off.
+
+MATT: "Thank you so much.”
+
+LAURA: I think I got it though! Don’t worry.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that.”
+
+LAURA: I’m going to sit here and worship her now.
+That’s all.
+
+MATT: “Please do. Please I can pray with you if
+you’d like.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’d be great.
+
+MATT: He sits down next to you and you both
+silently sit there, on your knees, and begin to
+
+pray quietly up to the Queen. You watch as one
+raven looks down over you both. Soon as he looks
+
+up and finishes his prayer, he extends his hand
+for a moment and it takes off.
+
+LAURA: Does that always happen when you pray to
+this lady?
+
+MATT: “Not often, but perhaps she smiles upon
+you.”
+
+LAURA: She does. I know she does because she likes
+me so much because I worship her real good.
+
+MATT: “All right. Well, have a good day.” He gets
+up.
+
+LAURA: You too.
+
+MATT: At this point, the rest of the funeral
+procession is now returning to the shrine.
+
+LAURA: Shit. Damn it! Is there anything to tuck a
+pamphlet into?
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, you can tuck it under any of the
+various offering bowls.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll do that at least.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s literally a cadaver that just
+went into the building. Not to give you ideas.
+
+MATT: Now you know, perhaps another time you can
+come by and try it again.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I’m going to try some other time.
+
+MATT: Anything else you wish to do over the next
+few days?
+
+TALIESIN: I would like to try some chemical
+altered states.
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s time to have a good night.
+
+MARISHA: Wait is this with the shrooms?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah!
+
+SAM: Just you alone?
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what night are you doing this?
+
+TALIESIN: Probably the celebratory first night.
+
+TRAVIS: What time are you starting?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, just before dusk.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll join you.
+
+LIAM: What is the nature of the goods that you
+have?
+
+TALIESIN: I have no idea.
+
+MATT, SAM, and LAURA: Skein.
+
+MARISHA: No, we bought those magic mushrooms.
+
+MATT: No, it’s a fungal powder.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey Caleb, you want to take a look at the
+pouch?
+
+MATT: Skein, I’ve heard many arguments over the
+pronunciation.
+
+SAM: It’s a real thing? You didn’t make it up?
+
+MATT: No, the word is a real thing. It’s a weaving
+term.
+
+LIAM: If I take a look at this skein, can I take a
+guess at what kind of illicit material I’m looking at?
+
+MATT: It’s a fungus. Make a medicine check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I have bad experience with fungus.
+
+LAURA: I can do a medicine check. Do you want me
+to look at it?
+
+LIAM: Medicine you say? That is a 13.
+
+MATT: It looks to be a fungus of some sort with a
+property to it.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I don’t have good association with
+that. You take that back.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s only enough for two other people
+to take it.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I have mine. Then you bought some
+too, right?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m holding it in my fucking hand. Don’t
+you see it?
+
+MARISHA: Wait, how much is that?
+
+ASHLEY: No, you guys go.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not going to take it. I was letting
+you know I’m bought it.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh well here. I always partake what–
+
+LAURA: I mean we could poison somebody later. That
+would be fun.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, it’s a little late, because I
+already took mine. I’m waiting to see what’s happening.
+
+MARISHA: Wait. When Beau hears that she goes–
+
+MATT: Two of them have taken it.
+
+TALIESIN: Whoever’s sober, keep us out of trouble.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: Well, there’s something I need to go do.
+You guys get started and I’ll–
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) Oh no, Yasha you always do
+this, no!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Somehow she knows you, you always do
+this.
+
+MARISHA: Bullshit!
+
+ASHLEY: I know, but you know I always take it and
+I never feel anything.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) Where do you go, Yasha?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m excited.
+
+MATT: The two of you that have ingested the
+skein– Ten minutes pass, and the edges of your
+
+vision begin to cloud, and as you sit for a moment
+your body begins to feel a bit weird. Nausea
+
+creeps in a bit. Then, a very faint snow of dust
+in your vicinity begins to coat. You know the
+
+Upside Down? Where there’s that weird material
+floating around.
+
+LAURA: Like Legend?
+
+MATT: A little bit. Only for about ten feet out to
+you. It’s a ten foot area around you, and the
+
+coloration of your vision in this area becomes a
+gray, colorless, black, white, and gray tone. I
+
+need you both to make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah.
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) This sucks.
+
+LAURA: Can I look at the stuff?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, here.
+
+TALIESIN: A wisdom saving throw? 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to say: Don’t fuck me Gil! Oh,
+okay. Just a wisdom saving throw? 17.
+
+MATT: The effects of it: you resist the hour long
+stun it would have held you in, as it is not a
+
+healthy thing to ingest under any circumstances.
+It is a very dangerous substance. For the
+
+duration, the two of you can see into the Ethereal
+Plane out to ten feet.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going walking.
+
+LAURA: Wait, what?
+
+TALIESIN: Who wants to go to a cemetery right
+now?
+
+SAM: Wait it takes them to the Ethereal Plane?
+
+MATT: They can see into the Ethereal Plane out to
+a range of ten feet.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to put on my least interesting
+cloak, and I’m going to go find myself a cemetery.
+
+MARISHA: I flip my blue cloak inside out to the
+brown side.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know where they’re going, but I
+think we got to babysit them.
+
+LIAM: (distorted) How do you guys feel?
+
+ASHLEY: How do you feel? Do you see anything? Is
+it interesting?
+
+MARISHA: I think it sucks.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to work on it though.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you guys going on a walk?
+
+MATT: It’s not quite like that.
+
+MARISHA: You can see really cool things.
+
+MATT: As this happens, this translucent
+piranha-faced serpent scoots by, this ghastly
+
+looking angler fish creature like– (gasping
+breathing).
+
+LIAM: “Hey Steve.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going for a walk.
+
+MARISHA: Molly, how long does this last?
+
+TALIESIN: I have no idea.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. This is it. This is the rest of our
+lives.
+
+LIAM: Are we saying this is night one, of a couple
+of days of piddling around?
+
+MARISHA: I thought that this was the first night,
+and this was our celebratory night.
+
+MATT: Yeah, this is more of a downtime period, so
+I’m trying to get through events.
+
+TALISEN: I’m grabbing a little drink downstairs,
+and then I’m going to go walk in whatever
+
+direction seems the most interesting shit outside
+is in.
+
+MARISHA: I join Molly.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m babysitting them.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to follow behind and throw
+pebbles at them from behind.
+
+MATT: In the best interest of keeping a low
+profile for the next few days, you both wander out
+
+into the city streets, altered on–
+
+MARISHA: In our hoods and our boring cloaks!
+
+MATT: As you guys begin to wander through the
+Interstead Sprawl, once again, the strange shapes
+
+pass through your peripheral. You occasionally
+hear this chattering and distant chuckling, this
+
+weird alien laughter. There seems like drifting
+spiritual energy that freezes your blood as you
+
+pass by. It’s a really uncomfortable sensation.
+For about an hour or so you wander in this space.
+
+At the end of the hour I need both of you to make
+a constitution saving throw.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: Glad I got another pouch of this stuff,
+could come in handy.
+
+TALIESIN: This could come in handy.
+
+MARISHA: Just a saving throw?
+
+TALIESIN: 18.
+
+LIAM: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+MATT: You feel your body begin to grow woozy, and
+for a second you feel like you’re about to
+
+black out and pass out but you catch yourself, and
+the sensation passes, your vision returns to
+
+normal, and it has run its course. You didn’t
+discern or learn much, and you feel exhausted.
+
+Your body is pretty strained by the process.
+
+TALIESIN: Drink and a bathhouse?
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got such cottonmouth.
+
+TALIESIN: You know what just occurred to me? I
+didn’t have a childhood. I’ve never said that out
+
+loud to someone before.
+
+MARISHA: Mmm. What happens if you have a
+childhood, but it’s barely a childhood because it
+
+was supposed to be someone else’s childhood, but
+it was you instead? Is that a childhood?
+
+TALIESIN: What happened to you?
+
+LAURA: We’re following behind you guys right
+here.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get you to a bathhouse. You were
+eating dirt about ten minutes ago. Said it was snow.
+
+MARISHA: Is that why I have cotton mouth? Ah
+goddamn it!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you got a big mud goatee.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so proud of you. You did so well.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I saw this goatman and he told me
+just don’t eat the yellow snow and you’d be okay.
+
+MATT: You get the essence, being one who’s in tune
+with your body, and you as well, that this is
+
+definitely not a safe substance.
+
+MARISHA: This is definitely not a safe substance.
+
+MATT: It may have, with the right scenario, some
+situationally beneficial properties.
+
+MARISHA: I still have half a dose. I think it
+would be real funny to plant it on somebody and
+
+get them busted later.
+
+TRAVIS: Was it a powder, or was it like crumbles?
+
+MATT: It’s like a crumbled, dry, almost a
+spongy–
+
+LAURA: You guys looked like idiots, just so you
+know.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we get you cleaned up?
+
+LAURA: We need to get Nott cleaned up, too.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott cleaned up?
+
+LAURA: Yeah Nott’s covered in ash.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, everybody, let’s take a bath.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I have tried to find any information
+on the conflict on the Xhorhas border?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Why you so interested, huh?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I have shit to do as well, party
+animals.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t judge me.
+
+LIAM: I judge you heavily.
+
+ASHLEY: Six.
+
+MATT. You’re not the best at gathering
+Information. Maybe it’s the–
+
+ASHLEY: It’s how I talk to people.
+
+MATT: (shouting) “Tell me what you know!”
+
+ASHLEY: (deep voice) Hey! Conflict! Xhorhas?!
+Tell me.
+
+MATT: You don’t glean a lot of details. Most folks
+tend to steer clear and walk to the other side of
+
+the road when they see you coming. What you do get
+to hear is that– Amongst the Ashkeeper Peaks, the
+
+mountains that largely border the south and
+eastern side of The Empire, to the north, there is
+
+that break. That’s where the Ashguard Garrison is
+and the Rockguard Garrison. That’s where most of
+
+the battle takes place. That’s the protection
+border that The Empire holds to keep the
+
+Xhorhasian hordes and creatures from the waste to
+wander in. Although many still filter through the
+
+mountains and such. Apparently there’s been rising
+conflict out there.
+
+ASHLEY: To the north?
+
+MATT: Assaults on the garrisons, yeah. Northeast
+of where you are. Further east more, east, little
+
+bit north. You have a map. You can look. You guys
+bought a map.
+
+LAURA: Hey, you want to see this map? You’re not
+with me.
+
+LIAM: This is an entire three day weekend.
+
+MATT: Yeah, this is throughout a week so if you
+wanted to pull the map out–
+
+LIAM: Pull it out!
+
+MATT: I don’t know where you guys put the map. You
+have a physical map.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, whip it out and shove it in his
+hand.
+
+LAURA: It’s over there somewhere.
+
+MATT: Go get it. Or somebody other than the
+pregnant woman go get it.
+
+LIAM: No. Not as fun.
+
+MARISHA: Blood flow, she’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, she’s got to walk.
+
+MARISHA: She’s pregnant. She’s not dead!
+
+MATT: Correct. The conflict has been more common.
+There’s been assaults on the garrison. It seems
+
+similar to what you heard wandering through the
+street before, there have been more whispers of
+
+children being stolen in the night from homesteads
+close to the border.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Hide yo kids.
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Hide yo wives.
+
+LAURA: I found the map, you guys! I had it
+somewhere safe.
+
+MATT: To the east, you can see the garrisons, and
+the gap that leads to the Xhorhasian side.
+
+LAURA: This is the Xhorhas side.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, look at that. I don’t think
+I’ve ever been there before.
+
+ASHLEY: There’s the Ashkeep.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, the Brokenveil Bluffs look scary.
+
+MATT: Anything else you guys want to do?
+
+LIAM: Ja, I have just enough ink and paper to
+learn one spell, in the big pile of spells that I
+
+have right now, so I’m adding a low level one. I
+am penniless.
+
+SAM: I will gladly give you money, but first– I’m
+going to cast Disguise Self, and turn myself into
+
+looking just like a normal halfling little girl
+and spend an hour at a cafe just having lunch and
+
+being a normal person.
+
+LAURA and LIAM: Aww.
+
+SAM: Then after that, I’m going to go, and is
+there any place if I investigate for a while, is
+
+there any place, or service, or person, or
+anything that can send a package long distance
+
+safely? Money being no object.
+
+MATT: There are a few facilities in which there is
+a parcel system that travels between the larger
+
+cities and can go to outskirt cities, but those
+are a little more expensive. Yeah, that does exist.
+
+SAM: How much to get a package to Felderwin?
+
+MATT: To Felderwin? How big a package? For a
+week’s worth of travel, it’ll cost you about five
+
+gold, not too much.
+
+SAM: Five gold?
+
+MATT: It’s a fairly upper end system to send a
+package.
+
+SAM: Pretty good, actually. That’s cheap.
+
+MATT: For you guys, yeah, for the average person,
+it’s not cheap.
+
+LIAM: Ten games ago, though.
+
+SAM: I’ll pay for rush delivery.
+
+MATT: There is no rush delivery. They can only go
+by the speed of horse.
+
+SAM: I’ll get insurance!
+
+TRAVIS and SAM: Certified.
+
+MATT: Tracking number included.
+
+SAM: Yes, thank you. I’ll write a note, and I’ll
+put in various items.
+
+TRAVIS: Like what?
+
+SAM: A bunch of buttons, all the rings, door knob,
+brass baby bottle, all the ball bearings, and the
+
+two bracelets.
+
+MATT: All righty. I think I know where you’re
+sending it, so. All righty.
+
+SAM: And some money.
+
+MATT: How much?
+
+SAM: 50.
+
+MATT: 50 gold. You assemble this package, wrap it
+up, I imagine disguise yourself once more. Paying
+
+five gold for delivery, the parcel is sent and on
+its way to Felderwin. All righty, anybody else?
+
+LIAM: Well, a couple of things, so I need more ink
+and paper, the kind to transcribe spells. Before I
+
+get to that, and before they go off on their drug
+party. Yes, before Jester goes.
+
+MATT: Not a party.
+
+MARISHA and MATT: Bad idea.
+
+LIAM: It has only been a short amount of time that
+I am thinking, and I will be very careful, with
+
+the bag.
+
+LAURA: Are you coming onto me?
+
+LIAM: I was going to ask if I could hold the
+Haversack and its contents for a day, so that I
+
+could better inspect and understand the thing
+that–
+
+LAURA: Why do you have to do that? It’s pink! It’s
+mine! I paid for it!
+
+LIAM: I understand that. I don’t want to keep the
+bag. I want to have it before you go off to do, I
+
+don’t know, maybe you’re going on a tour or
+something?
+
+LAURA: I’m not going to do anything. Do you want
+to hang out with me, and then you can look in the
+
+bag with me?
+
+LIAM: Aren’t you about to go out with them? You
+told me you were leaving.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
+
+LIAM: Well, all right, I would love to inspect our
+special package and try to understand it better,
+
+if you want to be present for that–
+
+LAURA: There’s a lot of people that inspect their
+special packages. You get to know yourself real
+
+good, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I know you are going to drag me over the
+coals for this request, and that is fine. I would
+
+like the dungeon master to fast forward to the
+part where you tell me if you will allow me to
+
+inspect the contents of this Haversack.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. You want to look at it?
+
+LIAM: Do you want to do this together?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll hang out with you. I really want
+to see it, too.
+
+LIAM: On a different night, maybe tomorrow night,
+because you just told me you were about to go out
+
+with Molly.
+
+LAURA: Then maybe I’ll keep it now, and then I’ll
+come back tomorrow night and we’ll do this again.
+
+LIAM: Just inspect what’s in the bag.
+
+LAURA: Special packages and everything like that.
+I leave to go on to watch them.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: When she leaves, I look to the mirror in my
+room and I’m like red-faced, and I stare at
+
+myself, like dead expression, for a good 30
+seconds.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Then I find Nott.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go see you again tomorrow. I come
+back. Hey, okay, do you want to check this out now?
+
+LIAM: What, are you back already? No, wait a
+second! I’m talking to Nott, in this part of the day.
+
+MATT: Yeah, we’ll come back. You find Nott.
+
+LIAM: I’m really blushing. How much disposable
+income do you have at the moment?
+
+SAM: Disposable? I have 285 gold, and therefore,
+disposable: 280.
+
+LIAM: Would you possibly loan me 200 gold?
+
+SAM: Here’s 280 gold.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) You need 50 still to send in
+your package.
+
+SAM: Already done.
+
+LAURA: Oh! How much money did you have?
+
+LIAM: I don’t think I need that much.
+
+SAM: Give me the change when you’re done
+spending.
+
+LIAM: I will give you the change. Thank you,
+friend. I will pay you back.
+
+SAM: Fine. Or not.
+
+LIAM: Thank you for teaching me how to– and I
+pull out the wire and back up 20 feet across the
+
+room. Whisper: teaching me this spell. You can
+reply to this message.
+
+SAM: Oh! You’re welcome, young padawan.
+
+LIAM: You know the thing about it for us is, we
+can go–
+
+SAM: You have to cast it again!
+
+LIAM: No, we can go back and forth over and over
+again, just you and me. It’s endless.
+
+SAM: Oh, you’re right! It’s forever. It’s a little
+muffled.
+
+LIAM: For the other Dummkopfs it’s only, they
+can say one thing back, but you and I, we can keep going.
+
+SAM: This is really good. I can also hear you
+across the room though.
+
+LIAM: I know. I understand, but for demonstration
+purposes.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Well, thank you.
+
+SAM: Good job. Over and out.
+
+LIAM: I will go to Mr. Sol’s establishment.
+
+(phone trilling)
+
+LIAM: That’s the sound the door makes when you
+enter Pumat’s store!
+
+MATT: Yeah. Where are you going?
+
+LIAM: To Pumat’s to buy ink and paper.
+
+MATT: Easy enough to do. “You go ahead and
+purchase enough materials as you need to get your
+
+spells there transcribed. Good on you.”
+
+LIAM: Thank you. I buy 200 gold worth and I bring
+Nott the 85 gold change.
+
+MATT: Sure enough.
+
+ASHLEY: May I sell my other sword?
+
+MATT: “You may. It’s not going to fetch you too
+much because it’s seen a lot of use. ”
+
+ASHLEY: I sharpen it. It’s so sharp. I sharpen it
+every night.
+
+MATT: “That’s wonderful. I think in the long run,
+that’ll be a very useful feature, but it’s also
+
+not that uncommon of an object– ”
+
+ASHLEY: It’s touched by the moon.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. I’m touched by the sun every
+morning.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “I’ll happily give you 30 gold pieces for
+that there sword, if you don’t mind?”
+
+ASHLEY: I paid all of my money for this, and it
+was so much more than that.
+
+MATT: “Well, that’s the nature of business. I’m
+afraid.” Make a persuasion check, if you want.
+
+Your persuasion pity roll.
+
+ASHLEY: 11.
+
+MATT: “All of your money?”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. It actually was.
+
+MATT: “I’ll take it off your hands for 40.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: “All right. We’ll find a good home for it. I
+trust you on that.”
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Thank you, Pumat.
+
+MATT: “No problem.”
+
+TRAVIS: (whispers) Always remember your first
+one.
+
+ASHLEY: (whispers) It wasn’t my first sword.
+
+TRAVIS: (whispers) Well, shit.
+
+SAM: Is my flask done?
+
+MATT: Your flask is done.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MATT: A Flask of Endless Alcohol.
+
+SAM: Wow. That’s not an item on DnD Beyond.
+
+MATT: No, but it’ll be an item on your person
+tomorrow. When I get in there to customize it.
+
+It’ll be waiting for you.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll wake up in the morning, early after
+my drug hangover, and make my way, quietly.
+
+MATT: Quite a headache.
+
+MARISHA: Quite a headache! Coffee, the bacon that
+I had in my pocket from yesterday.
+
+MATT: Pocket bacon! It’s the best kind!
+
+MARISHA: I head to the Cobalt Reserve.
+
+MATT: Cobalt Soul. Cobalt Reserve is on
+Tal'Dorei.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, the Cobalt Soul branch in Zadash.
+
+MATT: All righty. You head to the Archive. What
+would you like to do?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll see if I can find Dairon.
+
+MATT: All right. You ask around for a bit. Some of
+the various monks recognize you on entry, and they
+
+greet you with an acknowledging nod. You didn’t
+make a lot of friends while you were here, of course.
+
+MARISHA: Sup?
+
+MATT: However, you do come across Archivist Xenoth
+who, as you’re asking the question, one of the
+
+monks sends you over to Xenoth. He goes, “Oh,
+Beauregard. It’s good to see you.”
+
+MARISHA: Hey!
+
+MATT: “How may we help you?”
+
+MARISHA: Is Dairon in?
+
+MATT: “I can go and inquire. Are you here for more
+training?”
+
+MARISHA: Just find Dairon. Thank you.
+
+MATT: He looks genuinely spooked by the smile and
+is like, “That’s something. Manners! That’s new.
+
+I’m proud of– ”
+
+MARISHA: Just go find Dairon.
+
+MATT: “Right, all right.” He turns around and
+ascends up one of the slowly curving staircases
+
+that is carved through one of the bookshelves. You
+see a bookshelf that ends and then a further depth
+
+in and there’s a staircase that rides up to the
+top. There’s a second level above. He’s gone for
+
+about 15 or so minutes and then eventually
+descends the stairs. From behind, you can see
+
+Dairon. Her dark skin over the shoulders draped in
+this long cloak-vest, similar to the arraignments
+
+you wear, but with a deep gray. Her at-home wear.
+As she steps down, her elvish features smiling,
+
+her eyes taking acknowledgement of your presence,
+approaches you. “You have called for me.”
+
+MARISHA: Talk in private?
+
+MATT: “Of course. This way,” and Dairon walks
+past. Xenoth goes, “It was good to see you, Beauregard!”
+
+MARISHA: Bye, Xenoth!
+
+MATT: Dairon leads you to one of the meeting
+chambers, which is usually used for research and
+
+individuals that want to quietly read through
+books or take notes. Dairon closes the door
+
+behind, and it’s just the two of you. “So what are
+the honors?”
+
+MARISHA: Just want to let you know I’m in town and
+busy.
+
+MATT: “Good. I’ve heard. You are making a small
+name for yourself with your friends.”
+
+MARISHA: Is that good or bad?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know, is it?”
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. It’s hard to read you.
+
+MATT: “Good. I’ve worked hard to not be easy to
+read. I’ll tell you one thing: being invisible can
+
+get you in some doors that otherwise you could
+not, but notoriety can get you in doors that you
+
+couldn’t otherwise as well. Either path has its
+benefits; the choice is yours which to take.”
+
+MARISHA: You don’t think the two could be mutually
+exclusive? Or best of both worlds?
+
+MATT: (chuckles) “With enough training and
+discipline, maybe. Two things, unfortunately, you lack.”
+
+MARISHA: Hey!
+
+MATT: “In time, perhaps. So why are you here? Just
+to tell me you’re in town?”
+
+MARISHA: No, that I’m back and I’m dedicated. I
+figured showing up would be good, you know?
+
+MATT: “That is good. I’m proud of you. Do you wish
+to train?”
+
+MARISHA: Do you have time?
+
+MATT: “I always have time.”
+
+MARISHA: My kind of woman. Let’s go.
+
+MATT: “All right.” Dairon leads you out of the
+chamber and down below the archive where, as you
+
+recall, is the subterranean training boxes for the
+monks in which you have sand pits, you have all
+
+sorts of assembled– essentially– the word
+escapes me– A series of things you have to climb–
+
+MARISHA: Obstacle course?
+
+MATT: Thank you! An obstacle course– my brain is
+not working right now, at the moment. Obstacle
+
+courses, and places that are designed to help you
+gain more skill in advancing through urban and
+
+exterior vicinities. It looks like a parkour park
+a little bit, but not– there in that space, you
+
+and Dairon spend the better part of the
+afternoon– her essentially beating the shit out
+
+of you via these courses, showing you some better
+placement of your applications of Extract Aspects,
+
+hearing tales about the things you’ve encountered,
+and teaching you the importance of the specific
+
+bits of information that is most useful in the
+heat of battle– advancing this training and
+
+giving you a little more focused idea of the path
+that you have been taking, and the path that you
+
+are going.
+
+MARISHA: I tell her about the Xhorhasian spies and
+the terrorist that we encountered. Does she seem
+
+like she knew that knowledge or not?
+
+MATT: She knew that they had come through; she is
+caught off guard that you had actually encountered
+
+them directly. Dairon says, “Interesting. I will
+take this into my studies.”
+
+MARISHA: They said they were looking for an
+artifact. Something that the wizards here had
+
+stolen? Something that they said furthered their
+bloodline and made sure that they furthered their
+
+population. I don’t know. Do you know anything
+about it?
+
+MATT: Dairon goes from this very cold exterior.
+For the first moment, you see a brief crack of
+
+emotion, and she leans in. “Whatever those things
+told you, do not trust it. Do not take it as
+
+anything but desire to conquer and kill.”
+
+MARISHA: Why else would they attack the tower if
+they weren’t looking for something specific?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’m sure they were looking for
+something. Do not show pity for these things.”
+
+MARISHA: I never said I show pity. I wanted to
+know what the hell this artifact was that they
+
+were after. Figured you here at the Cobalt Soul
+would know.
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, the detailed business of the
+Cerberus Assembly is very carefully guarded and
+
+outside of our jurisdiction, but we’re doing our
+best to keep an eye in case anything slips through
+
+the cracks. They do a lot of good, but I don’t
+trust a mage that powerful.”
+
+MARISHA: We wouldn’t have any records on some
+Xhorhasian artifact that apparently keeps them alive?
+
+MATT: “None that I’ve come across.”
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: “Keep your ear out. If you encounter another
+one of these things– these objects– or at worse,
+
+another one of these Cricks, bring what it has,
+bring it to us.”
+
+MARISHA: All right. Thank you, Dairon.
+
+MATT: “Of course. I may not be here in a month or
+so–”
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+MATT: “I’m going to travel to Bladegarden. See
+what I can gather on the front lines. With these
+
+conflicts escalating, I wish to be informed as to
+who’s in charge there and perhaps what dangers
+
+might be creeping further into the empire.”
+
+MARISHA: This Bloodgarden in the northeast side?
+
+MATT: “Bladegarden is outside of where the
+garrisons are, yes. It’s where most of the main
+
+military is held.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, I still have a lot of training, so
+come back alive, I guess.
+
+MATT: (chuckles) “I’ve survived long enough.
+Anyway, one more round of sparring?”
+
+MARISHA: Sure!
+
+MATT: With that, you and Dairon continue to trade
+blows and continue the lessons throughout the day.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s awesome. I want to do that obstacle
+course.
+
+MARISHA: I go back and join the rest.
+
+MATT: Anything else anyone wants to do?
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering) Dodecahedron, next night!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I go knocking on his door the next
+night.
+
+LIAM: I buy all that ink and paper and I spend the
+rest of that day learning a small handful of new
+
+spells, which are in the Rolodex now, and then the
+next night–
+
+LAURA: (rapidly knocking)
+
+LIAM: Ja, hallo.
+
+LAURA: (still knocking) Hello!
+
+LIAM: Are you coming in? Come in, it’s open.
+
+SAM: This is night time?
+
+MATT: At this point, sure.
+
+SAM: I am definitely in the room.
+
+LAURA: (seductively) Hello Caleb. Hello Nott.
+
+SAM: (suspiciously) Hi.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Caleb and I have a date to talk about his
+special package.
+
+SAM: Do you need some privacy?
+
+LAURA: No, we’re good. I open up the haversack and
+pull out the box.
+
+LIAM: We are going to attempt to examine the
+football, as it were. You can remain if you like.
+
+Are you curious yourself?
+
+SAM: Sure, you might need me to heal you.
+
+LIAM: To the best– ooh, that’s a good idea. You
+know, to the best of my knowledge, this is– and
+
+it’s limited– this is a very powerful thing, and
+we are taking a risk–
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: –but one that I think is worthwhile.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Are you still game?
+
+LAURA: (clenching) Yes!
+
+LIAM: All right. We put the lead box on the floor.
+Let’s leave it in the lead box, but we’ll lift the lid.
+
+LAURA: That’s probably good, because people are
+still looking for it probably, so it’s probably
+
+stupid that we’re fucking with it right now.
+
+LIAM: It is a calculated risk and we are going to
+do this. We are not going to take a lot of time.
+
+SAM: It’s nice that you guys are talking about
+your limitations and setting your expectations
+
+before you go into this together. There’s some
+word that you need, like a safe-thing?
+
+LIAM: Yes, the safe word is Fjord, so if shit goes
+pear-shaped, and one of us says Fjord, get Fjord.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Yes. Are you going to go all like (tonal
+sound) while you look at it, or are you going to
+
+be normal?
+
+LIAM: Truthfully, I have no idea.
+
+LAURA: Okay, cool.
+
+LIAM: You game?
+
+LAURA: Totally game.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I am not coming on to you, but will
+you hold my hand while we do this, that way if
+
+we– (laughter) I cannot even look at you– I
+cannot believe I am doing this experiment with
+
+you. Let’s not cover the camera, and let’s examine
+it together, and if we go to the Nine Hells or
+
+something, at least we’ll be there together in
+theory.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: We are going to look at this thing.
+
+MATT: Both of you, or just you?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. I am looking at it.
+
+LAURA: I’m looking at Caleb.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. As you focus on the strange
+artifact, concentrating on it, you feel your
+
+vision drawn towards it. Part of you feels like
+your body’s leaning forward, like you’re about to
+
+hit your forehead, but Caleb hasn’t moved at all.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+MATT: Caleb hasn’t moved, but from your
+perspective, you feel like– and then suddenly,
+
+you feel like you’re within the dodecahedron, and
+like previously, suddenly there’s this loss of
+
+light, and stars begin to peek out around you.
+
+MATT: You see shapes and forms of purples and
+blues, these amorphous clouds that drift by on a
+
+scale that you cannot comprehend. You see darkened
+spheres and objects passing you as you drift into
+
+nothing, into this void with distant dots of light
+and sparkle. You get to that point you were
+
+before, where you feel like there’s a threshold,
+and your heart begins to race. Do you continue?
+
+LIAM: (whispers) Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’ve got his hand.
+
+MATT: As you continue past that threshold, the
+speed begins to increase.
+
+LAURA: (excitedly) Oh no!
+
+MATT: You feel the back of your neck begin to grow
+warm and the hair begin to stand up. While you
+
+cannot see, you can still sense your body’s
+presence– unmoving, but moving so quickly, this
+
+duel sensation is conflicting and causing your
+heart rate to jump. Your breathing begins to speed
+
+up. You guys watch as his breathing begins to
+increase. There, you see this faint gray glow
+
+approach and stop. Your speed comes to a slow
+crawl and then halts. There before you, you see
+
+this tiny, little mote of gray, pulsing light; a
+similar undulating pulse as the dodecahedron
+
+itself (heartbeat) before you. What do you do?
+
+LAURA: (growling) What do you do?
+
+SAM: (grumbling noises)
+
+LIAM: (long pause) Do you know if it’s
+achievable?
+
+MATT: No response. It looks like it’s right there,
+but a foot in front of you.
+
+LIAM: There’s nothing about it that is sensible or
+familiar; it’s totally alien to me?
+
+MATT: It is immediacy and forever; it is an
+ancient concept of possibility. As you ask these
+
+questions and begin to contemplate, the loop of
+your thought process begins to cycle on itself,
+
+and you have to shake your head not to be lost in
+this infinity that threatens to suddenly disperse
+
+you. Still, it is this tiny, gray thing before
+you, and it seems to want your contact.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Lick it!
+
+MATT: You look down and you can see your hand in
+front of you.
+
+LIAM: Father and mother– I hope I do not let you
+down.
+
+MATT: As you reach out and touch, you guys watch
+as this–
+
+LAURA: Did we hear him talking?
+
+MATT: You hear him talking. You see a faint mote
+of gray begin to drift out of the dodecahedron,
+
+and then it floats and enters and vanishes into
+the chest of Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Oh shit!
+
+MATT: Caleb, you feel this tiny mote come into
+your hand, and then you pull it to your chest, and
+
+you feel this warmth, and for a second probability
+becomes slightly malleable. This object is still
+
+so much more than what you understand; its power
+is indecipherable on the scale of your puny,
+
+mortal knowledge, but you do know that somehow, by
+reaching out to this device, you’ve managed to
+
+pull within yourself a Fragment of Possibility.
+
+SAM: What does that mean? Fragment of
+Possibility?
+
+LAURA: It means he’s lucky again.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s the Luck feat all over again!
+
+MATT: Just so you guys know– well, he’ll tell you
+when he gets around to it.
+
+SAM: No he won’t! He will never tell us!
+
+TRAVIS: Come on! Dish.
+
+MATT: That’s up to him to tell in the story.
+
+LIAM: It’s a big paper. Let me read it.
+
+LAURA: Did we get it too because we were holding
+his hand?
+
+MATT: No. The moment that that enters his chest,
+Caleb pulls his hand from you. Caleb, your eyes
+
+adjust, and you’re back in the room with your
+friends.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Damn it.
+
+SAM: Caleb, are you okay? You went skinky-doodle
+for a second. Are you all right? Hello? Hello,
+
+Wildemount to Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I’m wide-eyed and not responding.
+
+SAM: He can’t speak anymore, he’s forgotten–
+
+LAURA: Caleb, we heard you talking, though. Are
+you okay? Caleb?
+
+SAM: Eins! Zwei! Drei! He’s forgotten all
+language.
+
+LAURA: Uno, dos, tres. Quatro.
+
+LIAM: I’m literally trying to read this and
+failing because of my friends.
+
+SAM: Quick. Make out with him. True love’s kiss is
+the only thing that will bring him back.
+
+LAURA: I think he seems like he’s pretty okay,
+though.
+
+SAM: Just make out with him!
+
+ASHLEY: (laughter) True love’s kiss.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: Focus past the distractions.
+
+TRAVIS: Or you could just tell us.
+
+LAURA: You could read it out loud you know.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s it say?
+
+MARISHA: Never. He’s never going to tell us.
+
+MATT: Player privilege, unfortunately. He’s the
+one who that looked into it. If he doesn’t tell
+
+you soon, I’ll tell you, but–
+
+LIAM: That’s your right– I literally still don’t
+know what it does because everyone is talking constantly.
+
+LAURA: If you read it out loud then we’ll shut
+up.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’ll share in this adventure with
+you.
+
+LAURA: That’s right! Then we can all be a team.
+
+LIAM: The dodecahedron of gray faintly glowing
+crystal is heavier than it appears. This is peer
+
+pressure. A set of handles are affixed to the
+sides and it undulates to the touch. That’s all
+
+you get. If a hand is placed on the artifact and
+is concentrated on for one minute, the bearer is
+
+granted a Fragment of Possibility. A Fragment
+lasts for eight hours or until used. A Fragment
+
+cannot be granted again until the next dawn. After
+a creature with a Fragment of Possibility makes an
+
+attack roll, ability check, or saving throw they
+can expend their Fragment to roll an additional
+
+d20 and choose which of the rolls is used for the
+attack roll.
+
+MATT: Once per day it can grant one person a luck
+point.
+
+LAURA: We can pass it around!
+
+LIAM: Ultimately, after an attack roll is made
+against a creature they can expend their Fragment
+
+of Possibility to roll and additional d20 to see
+if the attacker hits.
+
+MARISHA: You’re like chipping away at it? Like an
+ice sculpture?
+
+LIAM: It is like one luck. That lasts for eight
+hours.
+
+MATT: It grants you this mote of energy.
+
+LAURA: We could literally– we could each of us
+every day pass it to a different person and then
+
+we could concentrate on it and we could have the
+Fragment.
+
+LIAM: Am I able to tell if that is correct?
+
+MATT: It gives you– the Fragment only lasts for
+eight hours. You can only give out one Fragment
+
+per day, so–
+
+LIAM: Any one of us, one time. It can only grant
+this gift once a day to one of us.
+
+MATT: Correct, yes. It could be the same person
+every day or it could be a different person. It
+
+gives you the chance that this could be used by
+anybody in your group.
+
+LIAM: I absentmindedly babble about what I think
+this thing can do. It’s very incoherent.
+
+LAURA: Why were you talking about your mom and
+your dad, though?
+
+(silence)
+
+LAURA: Was that a weird question? Should I have
+not asked that?
+
+SAM: I mean, it was on my mind, but I wasn’t going
+to bring it up.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: What did I say? What do you mean?
+
+LAURA: You said, “Mom and Dad I hope that I make
+you proud–”
+
+SAM: Or don’t disappoint you.
+
+LAURA: “–and I don’t disappoint you and stuff,”
+and also, “gee whiz, I should probably take baths
+
+more often.”
+
+SAM: That’s not– not that part.
+
+LAURA: Well you were going to say that and then
+the gray thing went into you.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: You said, “Oh I wish I could share my
+problems with my friends.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s what you’re saying. I remember
+hearing that part.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: What? That is a very common sentiment. Isn’t
+it?
+
+SAM: It is.
+
+LAURA: If you ever want to talk about it you can
+just come to us!
+
+LIAM: Good to know.
+
+LAURA: We’re super good at talking, both of us!
+
+LIAM: That is true. For both of you.
+
+LAURA: Tomorrow I want the thingy okay?
+
+LIAM: Well you are in possession of it for the
+most part. I said I wanted to have a look at it.
+
+LAURA: You’re right. I am.
+
+LIAM: We can take turns with it. We will decide.
+
+SAM: We don’t have to tell the others about this,
+do we? I mean we’re supposed to be a team.
+
+LIAM: By the way, I shut the lead cover on the
+box. Let’s put it back in.
+
+LAURA: (gasping) Oh my gods! What if, now that the
+gray thing is in you, the wizards in town will
+
+be able to sense you?
+
+SAM: What? Why would that– no!
+
+LAURA: Maybe you should be in the lead case
+now.
+
+LIAM: That’s not how that works.
+
+LAURA: Are you sure, though?
+
+LIAM: I am sure, yeah. Also, with the knowledge
+that I have and everything that just happened, am
+
+I aware– the gray more that went inside me. Would
+I know, does that limit this thing’s ability to me?
+
+Or no?
+
+MATT: What do you mean?
+
+LIAM: Well in the description, DM, you said this
+gray mote went into Caleb, not into them. Can
+
+anyone use this thing?
+
+MATT: Anyone can use it.
+
+LIAM: Good. All right. Just checking.
+
+LAURA: The next day the gray thing will go in
+someone else.
+
+LIAM: Right. It’s like the little, you know, when
+you’re learning lyrics for karaoke and the little
+
+thing bounces along.
+
+SAM: We all know what that experience is like.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I think this is a very potent thing,
+and we can use it to do a lot of good. You know,
+
+not in the heat of the moment to try to hit a
+gnoll in the face with something, but when we are
+
+really trying to figure something out or do the
+unachievable.
+
+LAURA: Or if like you really want to put a
+mustache on a fucking statue.
+
+SAM: You need extra luck for that.
+
+LIAM: That’s a good hypothetical.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, just in case you ever wanted to do
+that.
+
+SAM: Can I just say, real quick, before we
+adjourn, there was something that you were
+
+reluctant to do because of your own personal
+fears, and you entrusted Jester to inspire you to
+
+do something that was possibly uncomfortable for
+you, and it worked out great! I think that moving
+
+forward if you want to just go for it! As long as
+you have trusted friends with you, then that would
+
+be a good option to do.
+
+LIAM: That was a lot of advice. I mean, it is no
+secret that I like these people, so we are in good company.
+
+This is working out. You are, you know, you are
+capable– oh dear. I’m going to go to bed now.
+
+LAURA: Your son is just the cutest.
+
+SAM: He’s not my son!
+
+LIAM: Definitely heard that. Awkward and weird and
+makes no sense but I will– oh, this is my room!
+
+You have to go to your room!
+
+LAURA: (sing-song) Okay, well goodnight then!
+
+LIAM: Goodnight.
+
+LAURA: Goodnight, Caleb– If you need anything
+I’ll just be in another room–
+
+SAM: Get out! Just go! Just leave!
+
+MATT: The following day, through your various
+lowkey journeys, you catch another town crier
+
+wandering through the town, shouting, “Murderers
+of the High-Richter brought to justice. By the
+
+crown’s protective eye, Zadash is free from these
+treacherous cut-throats!”
+
+LAURA: Who was it?
+
+SAM: Who was it who killed her?
+
+MATT: (shouting) “I don’t know! I’m just told to
+tell this!”
+
+SAM: (shouting) What does it say?
+
+ASHLEY: It’s all it says again!
+
+MATT: (fearful shout)
+
+LIAM: This is the next morning?
+
+MATT: This is the next morning.
+
+ASHLEY: How do they give you more information?
+Just a headline; there’s nothing else!
+
+MATT: Over the next few days, the Crownsguard and
+the Righteous Brand, which is the name of the
+
+military of the Empire– the presence at the gates
+of Zadash has dwindled to normal. The backed up
+
+caravans and travellers begin to wash into the
+city once more in preparation for the Harvest
+
+Close festival, now only but a few days away. You
+watch as strands of linen all of the colors of
+
+autumn are affixed between street arches and
+lantern poles; a celebratory display, far less
+
+fancy, but more widespread than the Harvest Close
+Gala not but a week before in the Tri-Spires.
+
+That’s where we’re going to pick up next week!
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: (singing) Victory Pit!
+
+MATT: We’re going to pick up at the Harvest Close
+festival!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! Skydive, baby. Oh shit! What is it
+called? It’s a–?
+
+LAURA: A Mote of Possibility?
+
+MATT: A Fragment. Fragment of Possibility.
+
+SAM: (singing) Mote of Possibility!
+
+MATT: Well done, guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice job, Matt!
+
+LIAM: I’m going to– no, you should hold onto this
+because you’ve got the Haversack.
+
+MATT: All righty, so I’ll go ahead and get those
+custom items over to your guys’ inventory on D&D
+
+Beyond tomorrow.
+
+SAM: Custom items?
+
+MATT: We’ll come back next week for a Harvest
+Close Festival. We get to have a festival.
+
+ALL: Yay!
+
+TRAVIS: Those always go well.
+
+MATT: Those always go well. It’s going to be
+great!
+
+SAM: Do we need to dress up, Matt?
+
+ASHLEY: Like we did for the winter festival at our
+home game?
+
+MATT: That’s up to you guys. You’re more than
+welcome to!
+
+SAM: What kind of festival? This is a winter
+festival?
+
+MATT: Harvest Close. It’s the end of autumn. All
+the colors are like reds, golds, browns, tans,
+
+yellows.
+
+MARISHA: Oktoberfest! It’s Oktoberfest, you guys.
+Wait, do we come in the Ren Faire gear that we
+
+own?
+
+LAURA: We’ll figure it out.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll start a brand new text thread.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LIAM: Lederhosen.
+
+MATT: Indeed.
+
+TALIESIN: I own some really nice Lederhosen.
+
+MARISHA: You do. I was with you when you bought
+them.
+
+TALIESIN: No– were you? Oh, that’s the other
+pair.
+
+MARISHA: (laughter) That’s the other pair?
+
+LIAM: Wow!
+
+TRAVIS: Only him.
+
+LAURA: That was fun, you guys.
+
+MATT: All righty! Well, we’ll pick up next week.
+We missed everybody who’re out watching Avengers:
+
+Infinity War, but we’re also jealous because we
+didn’t see it tonight. But! Seeing it tomorrow!
+
+Excited about that! Thank you for joining us. Hope
+you had a good time. We love you guys, we’ll see
+
+you next week, and is it Thursday yet? Good
+night!
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons. We’ll jump into the game here
+
+shortly, but we have some quick announcements to get
+through. First and foremost, congratulations Sam
+
+on his Emmy win!
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: You suck!
+
+SAM: I did it, guys!
+
+MATT: Thanks to one of our wonderful sponsors
+tonight, I was able to add an Emmy to his
+
+inventory from my phone just moments ago!
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m looking in my inventory right now.
+It says “Emmy Award of Exempla–” It won’t tell me
+
+the rest of the title!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Exemplary Talent.
+
+SAM: It’s a wondrous item! “Rarity: Legendary.
+This enchanted statue was given to the finest of
+
+“creatives in the land. It’s a large thinly-coated
+lead icon made of cheap material.” I’m going to
+
+take a picture of that later. That’s so cool!
+
+MATT: That object brought to you by our first
+sponsor tonight and sponsor for the campaign thus
+
+far, our friends at D&D Beyond. Sam?
+
+SAM: Guys, as you know, this week I received many
+emails from fans who loved our D&D Beyond ad last
+
+week. And they told me that I had missed part of
+the story. To recap, our sponsor is D&D Beyond.
+
+They are contributing $100 to 826LA for every
+natural one we roll. Also, as part of their
+
+massive 826LA charity initiative, we’re past the
+$10,000 tier, so D&D Beyond has offered up the
+
+discount code “826LA” for 25% off their awesome
+Legendary Bundle, which includes all the digital
+
+materials available on D&D Beyond. Last week, to
+honor that, I had dug through the archives and
+
+found a commercial that D&D Beyond had run in the
+‘80s. We did a staged reading of it.
+
+LAURA: It was great.
+
+SAM: Fans wrote in and said, “Sam, you missed part
+of that story.” The ad campaign in the ‘80s was
+
+not successful. However, it launched the career of
+the young actress who played Gail in the
+
+commercial. She was given her own spin-off sitcom
+on CBS. It only ran four episodes, and those
+
+episodes have been lost to time. But I was able to
+find the script of a promo for the sitcom starring
+
+Gail, from the D&D Beyond commercial, from the
+80s!
+
+ASHLEY: Really?!
+
+SAM: Found it in the archives. We’re going to do a
+staged reading of this promo for this sitcom.
+
+Brought to you by D&D Beyond. I’ll be playing
+Announcer; reprising their roles will be Laura as
+
+the mom, Taliesin as the dad, and Ashley The
+Johnson as Gail.
+
+LAURA: Gail!
+
+SAM: Here we go. Picture it. You’re watching TV.
+It’s 8:30PM, primetime, and this promo comes on.
+
+(announcer voice) “This fall on CBS, it’s the
+hilarious sitcom everyone’s "stoked” about:
+
+“You’ve Got Gail!”
+
+TALIESIN: There are holes in all of my business
+pants!
+
+LAURA: Gail!
+
+ASHLEY: Take a chill pill, Mrs. Henderson! I need
+those crotches for my Home Ec project!
+
+LAURA: This says, “Sew a quilt of fabric
+swatches, not fabric crotches!”
+
+ASHLEY: Oops!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: That lovable scamp Gail gets her foster
+parents, the Hendersons, into totally “gnarly” situations.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you do your chores, Gail?
+
+ASHLEY: Ch-yeah! Now I’m going to put on my
+British Knight Sneakers and see that brand-new
+
+movie, Labyrinth.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Not so fast, young lady. I found my tuna
+casserole in the garbage.
+
+ASHLEY: No doy, Mrs. Henderson! You said, “Take
+out the trash,” and it was the stinkiest thing in
+
+the house.
+
+SAM: But it’s not all fun and games. You’ve Got
+Gail also tackles serious issues.
+
+LAURA: Gail, your friend from school was just in a
+car accident. She was drunk driving.
+
+ASHLEY: (quietly) Gag me with a spoon, Mrs.
+Henderson.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, Gail. Gag us all with a spoon.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: You won’t believe the trouble Gail gets into
+every Thursday night!
+
+LAURA: Gail, why didn’t you do your report on
+First Ladies?
+
+ASHLEY: Because current First Lady Nancy Reagan
+gave me some bitching advice!
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of advice did Nancy Reagan
+give you?
+
+ASHLEY: When teacher says, “Do your homework,”
+just say no!
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Gail!
+
+ASHLEY: Gag me with a spoon, Mr. and Mrs.
+Henderson!
+
+SAM: All-new You’ve Got Gail, every week right
+after Growing Pains and before She’s the Sheriff.
+
+Presented by D&D Beyond!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god. It just gets better!
+
+SAM: The character of Gail is amazing.
+
+MATT: If Yasha ever leaves us this campaign, you
+already have a backup character.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I ask how you spell “doy?”
+
+SAM: D-O-Y.
+
+LIAM: I just got a text alert. They just revoked
+his Emmy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Due to unforeseen circumstances–
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. Thank you, D&D Beyond, for
+making this happen. We have another sponsor
+
+returning this week: our friends at Obsidian for
+Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire! Super excited.
+
+First off, for those who aren’t familiar with it,
+Pillars of Eternity was a great RPG. Isometric,
+
+classic-style RPG for PC and console later this
+year. You get to return to the world of Eora. This
+
+one is on the hunt for one of the gods, Eothas,
+which plays into the story from the first game.
+
+You don’t have to have played the first one to
+play the sequel, because they have built in a way
+
+that gets you up to speed very quickly and
+basically choose your decisions that you start the
+
+game to still influence the story and where you’re
+going. A lot of the main characters in the story
+
+are voiced by us here at the table! Which is
+awesome. For a free DLC download, you’ll be able
+
+to download the portraits of Vox Machina as well
+as voice sets to use in the game for your main
+
+character and entire party. Check it out if you
+haven’t had a chance yet. It’s an awesome RPG
+
+series. Unbiased as I couldn’t possibly be because
+I was one of the first Kickstarter backers before
+
+I was even part of the game. It’s great. I really
+enjoyed it. Check it out if you can. It comes out
+
+next week on Tuesday, May 8th. You can order it at
+versusevil.com/criticalrole. They’ve released
+
+almost all the portraits so far, just in the past
+couple of days. They’ve released Keyleth and Grog today.
+
+LAURA: Keyleth’s was adorable!
+
+MATT: He’s a real angry–!
+
+TRAVIS: Just a Vidal Sassoon face right now.
+
+LIAM: You can see the bits of food flying out of
+his mouth.
+
+MATT: I believe tomorrow they unveil Gilmore.
+
+LAURA: That had been released already?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Spoiler alert. Yeah, excited for that.
+Thank you to our friends at Obsidian for allowing
+
+us to be part of this awesome game.
+
+LIAM: Oh man, I am going to play that game. That
+is saying something, because I have no time for my
+
+own physical or mental health! It’s going to
+happen.
+
+LAURA: I am definitely going to be playing that
+game, like right after the baby’s born.
+
+SAM: You’ll have time. Get a wireless headphone so
+you don’t wake him or her.
+
+TRAVIS: Me. Don’t wake me.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Just play. It’ll be great.
+
+MATT: All righty. Next up, we announced today that
+we are headed to Gen Con! We’re stoked about that.
+
+You can go to critrole.com for any of the
+information regarding our schedule that week.
+
+We’re going to be doing a live show on Friday, and
+then we’ll have panels and signings throughout the
+
+weekend. Check out critrole.com for information on
+our appearance there at Gen Con, and we’re excited
+
+to see you guys there. Tickets for the live show
+will go on sale next Tuesday, May 8th, at 10:00AM
+
+Eastern, 7:00AM Pacific. Keep tabs on our Critical
+Role Twitter and website for information on that.
+
+When that all goes up, we’ll let you guys know.
+Super excited to see you! We are also super close
+
+to our $50,000 stretch goal for our 826 charity
+that we’re pushing. If you can, donate now to
+
+826LA.org/criticalrole. Every dollar you donate
+will be doubled, thanks to our fantastic Critter,
+
+Mark, who has been so amazing in supporting this
+endeavor. When we hit $50,000, I believe you will
+
+be running another one-shot.
+
+MARISHA: Another honey heist! More bears are back
+in town.
+
+LIAM: Make it happen.
+
+SAM: (singing) The bears are back in town!
+
+MATT: Let’s see. Friendly weekly reminder for
+Twitch Prime. If you have an Amazon Prime account,
+
+you can attach it to your Twitch account and you
+can subscribe to any Twitch channel you want to
+
+for free, once per month. If you want to support
+any of your fantastic Twitch streamers out there,
+
+this is a way to do so at no extra dime. Recommend
+it. We have new Twitch emotes available for our
+
+subscribers, including the ones from the new
+campaign. We also have a Nein emote for the $10
+
+subscription tier, so there’s that. Critical
+Recap, if you haven’t seen the recap before this
+
+happens, you can go on YouTube and get a recap of
+last week’s episode by our fantastic Dani Carr.
+
+She does that every week to recap what previously
+happened in case you’re too busy running around to
+
+get caught up on what happened if you missed it,
+but you still want to be here live. Talks Machina
+
+is next Tuesday at 7 PM Pacific, where our
+fantastic Brian W. Foster will bring a few of us
+
+into his fold for the night to discuss what
+happened for tonight’s episode you’re about to
+
+watch. Oh man, we’re getting out of here. Podcast
+from last week is available, where all fine
+
+podcasts are available to download, so keep up
+with that. That’s it! We’re good! Done! Anything else?
+
+MARISHA: Nice. That was a lot.
+
+MATT: I want to get into the game. I’m impatient.
+Thank you for your patience. With that guys, let’s
+
+go ahead and dive into tonight’s episode of
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Wow, you are so late on that!
+
+LIAM: Nah, it was timed about how I wanted it.
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everyone. As we watch Laura
+complain about her macaroni salad.
+
+LAURA: Is it like tuna in here? What’s in here?
+
+LIAM: This is the content you tuned in for.
+
+LAURA: Is there tuna in here? I think there is.
+
+TALIESIN: No one really knows.
+
+MATT: Macaroni salad is the Wild West of culinary
+delights.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s the tuna casserole you were talking
+about.
+
+LAURA: I’m not supposed to have tuna!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Daredevil Laura Bailey, ladies and
+gentlemen. Bringing it back in. The Mighty Nein in
+
+the city of Zadash. Long in the Dwendalian Empire,
+you’ve made a small name for yourself in a few
+
+factions. You’ve done a deed or two for the King’s
+Hall here in service of the Crown. You’ve done a
+
+deed or two with the Knights of Requital, that
+involved getting caught up briefly in a manhunt,
+
+as you were loosely responsible for the death of
+the High-Richter, the high judge of the local
+
+court. Managed to make an introductory trade, a
+deal if you will, with The Gentleman, this
+
+subterranean figure of not the most legal of
+maneuvers. You delved deep into one of the
+
+subterranean river tunnels beneath the city of
+Zadash for him, managed to clear out and recover
+
+materials from a long-buried research facility
+from the Age of Arcanum.
+
+Upon returning, the deal was solid. You managed to
+smuggle out Horris, who needed to be away from the
+
+town for the time being while this investigation
+was happening. In doing so, also managed to clear
+
+your names of the death of the High-Richter. Upon
+returning back, getting a few deeds done, now
+
+waiting for this to blow over, and hearing word
+that there is no longer a manhunt for a number of
+
+you in cahoots to this, you begin to prepare for
+the coming Harvest Close Festival. Now we’re
+
+getting close to the third of the month of
+Fessuran, you’ve all managed to prepare in the
+
+ways you want, got a few things on your side.
+You’ve delved into some of the mysteries of the
+
+beacon that you maintain. You’ve retrieved your
+Forever Alcoholic Flask. That’s where we’ll begin
+
+today. Friends, as the early morning creeps up
+upon you, the chilled morning air has left a bit
+
+of ice and mist crawling across areas of the city
+floor, from outside your window here in the Leaky
+
+Tap tavern. However, though it is a gloomy
+morning, there is already a general air of
+
+celebration around. Glancing across, more people
+are now shifting out into the street and city
+
+around you. Music is beginning to creep into the
+vicinity, and you can hear muffling through the
+
+nearby walls.
+
+LAURA: Well struck, my lord!
+
+TRAVIS: (high voice) Well struck, my lord!
+
+MATT: As you all awaken, hearing this outside,
+what do you wish to do?
+
+LAURA: (gasps) It’s a celebration!
+
+SAM: Your spidey sense is tingling?
+
+LAURA: Yes. Can you hear the difference?
+
+TALIESIN: It sounds like there’s very expensive
+things to drink and eat. I’m going to get my pocketbook.
+
+SAM: Lots of pockets to pick!
+
+MARISHA: Lots of bar brawls to start. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Can I ask a retroactive question? Caleb, and
+maybe Beauregard, read all of Siff’s journal?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+LIAM: Was anything more to be gleaned from reading
+the entire thing?
+
+MATT: Just more understanding of the same notes
+you read before. From what remains of the tome,
+
+you managed to quickly grab the Cliff Notes of it
+as you glanced through it, and the more
+
+information you pulled from it filled out that
+your thoughts on those tidbits were correct.
+
+LIAM: Okay, and then the only other question I
+have is I don’t remember what time of day the
+
+party ended the day. If there was time I would’ve
+used paper and scrolls to transcribe into my book,
+
+if there was time.
+
+MATT: Yeah, there’s been a few days. You would’ve
+had time.
+
+LIAM: Okay, good.
+
+LAURA: Is it the morning?
+
+MATT: It is the morning. You have awoken–
+
+LAURA: I’m going to spend a minute focusing on the
+mote and get a point!
+
+SAM: On the what? The mote?
+
+MATT: She takes the beacon, focusing on this
+strange artifact that you procured from the grip
+
+of the Xhorhasian assassin. You feel yourself
+extend into it and now being your first time to
+
+focus on it, it’s a lot to take in. You feel your
+essence shift into this space, this strange
+
+dimensional between. Though not fully
+understanding it, you’re brought the same image of
+
+dozens of yourself and this sense of infinity.
+There before you, you see the strange gray mote,
+
+and you reach out in the way that you saw Caleb’s
+hand reach. At that moment, you feel it shift and
+
+vanish into your chest, the warmth sifting into
+the center of your rib cage and then your eyes
+
+focus once more, and you’re back in your chamber.
+
+MARISHA: Well, that was kind of cool.
+
+LAURA: Did you know that we have a special weapon
+now?
+
+MARISHA: I do as of right now with you telling
+me.
+
+LAURA: This thing, you can get this mote of
+possibility. Basically, you get to affect time.
+
+I’m not exactly sure how it works, but it’s really
+cool.
+
+MARISHA: Do you feel all right?
+
+LAURA: I feel really powerful and stuff, inside.
+
+MARISHA: Like how much more powerful?
+
+LAURA: Like five percent.
+
+MARISHA: Punch me. I want to tell.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll punch her.
+
+MATT: All right, roll an attack.
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez, I dropped it. That doesn’t count.
+I don’t punch her very hard. I’m going to pull my
+
+punch, because I only rolled a five.
+
+LIAM: That sounded like “pooing my pants.”
+
+MATT: I mean, if you’re not dodging.
+
+MARISHA: I’m like, come on.
+
+MATT: Yeah, then you hit her.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I hit her? Yes! Okay, so now I roll for
+damage?
+
+MATT: Well it’s one plus your strength modifier.
+
+LAURA: Four damage!
+
+MATT: You take four points of damage from a sheer
+punch to your shoulder!
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, Jester! What the fuck?
+
+LAURA: Rawr!
+
+MARISHA: Ow! Okay, that’s awesome.
+
+LAURA: Do you have dead arm?
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+LAURA: Wait, if I punch you in your ass you’ll get
+dead leg. Have you ever tried it? Yeah, I punch
+
+her in her butt and try to give her dead leg.
+
+MATT: Okay, I think she is dodging this one so
+roll for this one.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, come on! What do I add to it?
+
+MATT: I’ll say you’re proficient in unarmed
+because you’re just punching, sure. You add your
+
+strength modifier and your proficiency modifier.
+
+LAURA: This is shit. Oh plus the proficiency. No,
+it’s still not enough. It’s like nine. Nein!
+
+MATT: She does manage to step out of the way, now
+being more defensive from giving her a dead leg.
+
+MARISHA: I move and do a little hip bump. Get out
+of the way.
+
+LAURA: I wasn’t trying to hit you anyway. I didn’t
+want to hit you.
+
+MARISHA: Just a little hip action, I’ve been
+working on it.
+
+LAURA: Anyway, I have this thing, and I could’ve
+used it then to really hit you but I’m not going
+
+to. I’m going to save it for something really
+powerful. Are you in the room, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like I slept outside? I was going
+to interact. I think I slept outside. I forgot.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re all up and moving at this
+point.
+
+MATT: As you ask this question, Yasha is not in
+the room.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester. That was you who said
+something when you were talking to the Xhorhasian
+
+assassin about babies not being born, or something
+like that?
+
+LAURA: Did I say something like that?
+
+MARISHA: I think you were like, “Oh no, the
+babies!” Something about babies.
+
+LAURA: He had said that this thing would help them
+with having babies, yeah. I would assume if we
+
+have it then he won’t be able to have babies.
+
+MARISHA: You know how that town crier was talking
+about kids being stolen? You think they’re connected?
+
+LAURA: Probably. That’s really smart, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks. I wanted to run it by you.
+
+LAURA: Where was it happening? It was along the
+border, huh? In Nogvurot? Yeah, that’s where it
+
+was happening.
+
+MARISHA: You have a good memory.
+
+LAURA: I know.
+
+SAM: (whispering) Where is that?
+
+LAURA: Nogvurot is along the border.
+
+MARISHA: I know there’s a garrison out there.
+
+LAURA: (laughter) Northward.
+
+MATT: You have a map.
+
+SAM: Is it near Xhorhas?
+
+LAURA: I brought it back in, didn’t I?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it doesn’t count as using your memory
+if you’re reading it, Jester. Come on! That’s not fair.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t read it! I’m pulling my map out
+now.
+
+MATT: Nogvurot is actually northward, a little bit
+east of Rexxentrum.
+
+SAM: Right there.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s not at all where I thought it
+was. I thought it was over by the Ashguard
+
+Garrison, but it’s not. Yeah, weird. Maybe it’s
+not connected, then. Unless there are a lot of
+
+them, the bad guys, in Nogvurot, which we could
+check out.
+
+MARISHA: I heard a rumor last night that more are
+getting through. I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: I wonder how. I wonder if there’s an
+underground passage that people aren’t seeing or
+
+something. Or maybe they can go invisible. Or
+maybe they have an airship! Or maybe they can turn
+
+into mist, and fly through the air where people
+can’t see them. I’ve heard of people doing that.
+
+MARISHA: All possibilities, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: (knocking) Y'all up?
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+LAURA: Fjord! Come in!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going out.
+
+MARISHA: I’m naked! I’m not naked.
+
+LAURA: Fjord! There’s a celebration going
+outside!
+
+TRAVIS: I can hear them. I think we’re going to
+head downstairs if y'all want to join.
+
+LAURA: Yes! I run outside.
+
+MATT: All right, so you guys start heading
+downstairs. Who all is gathering down there with them?
+
+SAM: Everybody!
+
+MATT: All right, everybody. Yasha, you napped in
+the side alleyway in the open air, sleeping with
+
+one eye open, being careful. As you wake up in the
+cold morning mist, the mist has caused this
+
+dampness around your chin and hair–
+
+ASHLEY: Around my glorious beard?
+
+MATT: Your glorious beard, right there. Frost
+beard.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t have a beard.
+
+MATT: No. It gets really cold in the early morning
+and bits of frost have gathered at the edges of
+
+your hair, so you brush off it a bit. As you
+gather yourself and look out past the street, the
+
+music’s already starting to swell very strongly
+from a distance, and a few musicians come by
+
+playing on their own. Some folks are starting to
+rouse and begin cooking things. The smell of meats
+
+and fresh morning meals are beginning to find your
+nostrils, and you decide you probably should check in.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I’ll go check in.
+
+MATT: You come in, the rest of you all gather in
+the bottom tavern area of the Leaky Tap. What
+
+would you like to do?
+
+SAM: Does anyone know how this festival works?
+What are we celebrating again?
+
+LAURA: The close of the harvest.
+
+SAM: It’s just for funsies and we go around and
+sample wares and things?
+
+MARISHA: Nott, have you never been to a festival?
+
+SAM: I’ve been to a festival.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s general revelry. You know: drink,
+eat, dance.
+
+SAM: Not a big one. You know, small ones.
+
+LAURA: About what?
+
+SAM: You know, end of the season and beginning of
+the season. You know, that sort of stuff. People’s
+
+weddings, that sort of thing.
+
+MATT: There’s a new female who’s running the bar.
+She is now also coming to consciousness. She’s
+
+coming around to preparing the bar. Passed out,
+face down. Looks to be in her early 50s or so,
+
+long black hair that goes just past the chest
+area–
+
+LAURA: The chest area?
+
+MATT: Respectfully choosing words, Laura. Past her
+heaping bosom? What do you want me to say?!
+
+TALIESIN: I think you’ve had enough.
+
+LIAM: Right around her titties? The titty area?
+
+TRAVIS: Take that tuna away.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s making you weird.
+
+MATT: Laura Bailey, forward-thinking feminist!
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: It’s all right.
+
+LIAM: Once you have a child, I want you to turn on
+a dime like a Tartuffe character and be matronly
+
+and severe.
+
+SAM: Don’t curse!
+
+MATT: That’s not going to happen.
+
+LAURA: Don’t talk about titties!
+
+MATT: Anyway, this female you haven’t seen before
+who’s in the process of running the bar, very much
+
+in the same way that you saw Wessek the
+dragonborn, or previous before that, Claudia.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) I wonder if that’s the new
+owner.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Wait, what’s she look like? Did you
+say something?
+
+MATT: Human, 50s, long black hair.
+
+LAURA: Past the tatas.
+
+MARISHA: I bet that’s her. Oh, that’s right. I got
+so distracted by you.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll walk in and give them a nod, and then
+go get an ale. First things first.
+
+MATT: “What can I get you?”
+
+ASHLEY: Just a big a drink, an ale.
+
+MATT: “Easy enough to do. I’ll be right back,” and
+she goes and fetches you a drink. All right, so.
+
+For this part of the festival– are you going for
+an ale or a stiff drink?
+
+ASHLEY: An ale. It’s morning.
+
+TRAVIS: Slow burn.
+
+LIAM: I wonder if the new proprietor knows there
+is a dead person in the basement.
+
+SAM: It’s not a dead person. It’s a skeleton. It
+seems old. I mean I suppose it’s a dead person.
+
+LIAM: That is exactly what it is.
+
+SAM: I guess so.
+
+LAURA: Was it a dead human or a dead tiefling or a
+dead–
+
+SAM: It seemed human-ish.
+
+LIAM: Well there were no horns, and when you’re a
+skeleton your ears are rotted away so I do not know.
+
+LAURA: It could’ve been an elf.
+
+LIAM: It could’ve been.
+
+TRAVIS: Are there any people, I don’t know,
+juggling and shit? Or any shows going on?
+
+MATT: Not in the tavern currently. It seems most
+everyone outside is walking in one direction,
+
+though. A lot of the folks that are starting to
+gather are all heading past the entranceway and
+
+heading in a leftward path from looking out from
+the tavern.
+
+SAM: Should we join them?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I want to see.
+
+TALIESIN: I definitely want to see this.
+
+MARISHA: You can carry booze in the streets here,
+right? It’s like Vegas? Open carry?
+
+SAM: Wait! No, not open carry. Open container.
+
+MATT: There you go. You have seen people walk with
+various drinks in their hand without an issue before.
+
+SAM: Let’s go!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very much about this. We’ll get that
+to-go.
+
+MARISHA: How was the new lady? Was she nice, was
+she a bitch?
+
+ASHLEY: She just, I mean, she gives you your
+drink, so I think it’s a nice woman to me.
+
+SAM: What was her name?
+
+ASHLEY: I have no idea.
+
+MARISHA: I bet she’s a bitch.
+
+LAURA: Why would you say that?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. Because I want to buy this
+place, so I don’t want to like her.
+
+LIAM: Do you know that there is a dead person in
+the basement here?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can use that to run her out!
+
+LAURA: There’s a skeleton in the basement,
+apparently.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: I sort of agree with Nott on this, I
+think there comes a point where it’s a skeleton
+
+and not an actual dead person at this point. I
+mean, I know it is a dead person.
+
+LIAM: I don’t think that’s correct, actually. I
+think it’s both things at the same time.
+
+TALIESIN: I think there’s a point where it’s like
+a piece of fruit, but it’s been out so long that
+
+even conceiving of it as a piece of fruit is not
+useful.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a good point.
+
+LIAM: I am pretty sure that’s incorrect.
+
+MARISHA: Do you call a cherry pit a dead cherry?
+
+TRAVIS: I start walking towards the–
+
+LAURA: Could you still eat the body? If you can’t
+eat the body anymore then it’s not a person.
+
+LIAM: You can eat anything if you are determined
+enough.
+
+TALIESIN: That is also a very fair point.
+
+MATT: Fjord has left the Schrödinger’s skeleton
+conversation.
+
+TALIESIN: Fjord, don’t you dare have fun without
+us! I’m rolling out the door.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Molly gives chase.
+
+LAURA: I chase after them too.
+
+SAM: I’ll put on my mask and join.
+
+ASHLEY: Slam down my– go.
+
+MATT: At this point now, the chilled late morning
+beneath the cloud covered skies, the streets are
+
+filled with all manner of people and families
+walking with baskets and colored streamers behind
+
+them. The large banners of silk of the autumn
+colors that were previously being placed up in the
+
+streets are in full display. The gentle wind is
+causing them to flicker and flap as the music
+
+weaves with the sound of the fabric. Small bands
+of bards and musicians mark nearly every street
+
+intersection, filling the air with music, poems,
+and cheer. It’s a very stark difference to the
+
+lock-down that held the city over the past week
+and a half or so. The closer you begin to follow
+
+the crowds as they move along, hearing the
+chuckles of children and the conversations and
+
+laughter that seem to burble out of every street
+corner, it pushes you in the direction of the
+
+Pentamarket. That’s when the smells of spices and
+incense begin to come in waves as you follow the
+
+sauntering crowds, eventually that smell overcome
+by the smell of cooked meat pies and roasted
+
+vegetables billowing from the various food carts
+that line the corners of the streets before you.
+
+LIAM: I want to be at Ren Faire.
+
+LAURA: I know!
+
+MATT: The flickering of the wind is now this weird
+syncopation that’s blending with the sound of the
+
+distant drums and ocarinas and flutes that are
+beginning to pipe into the strange din in the
+
+streets. You see a number of games of skill and
+chance that have been set up in the distance too,
+
+amongst the crowds, as people begin to weave
+through. To the left, you can see someone loudly
+
+proclaiming, “Want to play Trebuchet, anyone?” and
+down the way another voice calling out, “King’s
+
+"Vault!” You can see more games in the distance
+beyond there. More stages are set up with food and
+
+it’s a veritable smörgåsbord of celebration. What
+do you guys want to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Trebuchet sounds pretty fucking sweet.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re immediately heading to
+Trebuchet.
+
+MARISHA: What do you mean? Is Trebuchet like a
+trebuchet?
+
+TRAVIS: How the fuck do we know? We’re going to
+find out, though.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you fire it? Do you sit in it? I
+don’t know. There’s only one way to find out.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to start walking towards the other
+one, the king’s thing.
+
+LAURA: All by yourself, Caleb?
+
+SAM: I’m going with Caleb. Want to come?
+
+LAURA: I want to get thrown in a trebuchet.
+
+SAM: Go with them, then.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Does it seem like there are more
+guards around than usual? Are the guards relaxed?
+
+MATT: The guards are relaxed, but there’s
+definitely a large presence, and in fact, a number
+
+of the games are run by the guards. In fact,
+Trebuchet, as you approach, you see two guards,
+
+male and female, that are both in the process of
+lifting a three or four year old girl, and she has
+
+a sandbag in her hand. They’re like, “One, two,
+three!” and she throws it and it gets close, but
+
+stops before the basket, but they cheer her on,
+“Yay!” and set her down.
+
+MARISHA: Aww, I thought they were going to throw
+her.
+
+LAURA: Like a wonder child!
+
+LIAM: Don’t worry. If she falls, they kill her.
+
+MATT: The kid runs off and grabs the bag and comes
+back and they lift her again. They go, “One,
+
+"two–” and they give her even more of a swing so
+she gets a little more distance. It hits the edge
+
+and then tips off to the side and they go, “Aww”
+and the crowd who had gathered around “Awws” with
+
+her. The little girl smiles and gives them a hug
+and then runs off. One of the guards turns as you
+
+guys begin to approach and shouts to the crowd,
+“Trebuchet, anyone wish to play?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. Most definitely.
+
+MATT: “Five copper for three throws.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Here’s ten copper for Molly and me.
+
+MATT: “Sipes?” The other guard goes, “All right,”
+pulls up three of the sandbags and hands them to
+
+you. “That basket there and that line there.” You
+see that they were in between for the kids’ reach,
+
+but there’s about a ten-foot distance of small,
+thin carpet that’s placed behind the line leading
+
+to this open wicker basket that’s about a foot and
+a half wide. You have to throw overhead, facing away.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit.
+
+SAM: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
+
+LAURA: Do we need to pick them up and do the thing
+like you did with the child?
+
+MATT: “You are more than welcome to try. I’d love
+to see that happen. That is not necessary.”
+
+TRAVIS: No, it’s all right. Let me try it on my
+own first. For dignity’s sake.
+
+MATT: As you stand there, you take the sandbag and
+in a trebuchet-like motion, lob it overhead
+
+without quite looking, assuming the direction. Go
+ahead and make a dexterity check with disadvantage please.
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t need that disadv– That’s a
+natural one.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: $100 for 826LA.
+
+MATT: You lob it and hear, (pained grunt) and
+everybody goes “Oh!” and you turn around.
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry, friend. Yeah, that’s a purple
+heart, sorry man. Jeez.
+
+MATT: You turn around. You can see the mother of
+the small kid that was first throwing, and she’s
+
+rubbing the side of her face.
+
+LAURA: You hit a mother.
+
+TRAVIS: Find her a soothing– something to take
+the pain off.
+
+MATT: She goes, “Ah, it’s fine.” Looks up at you
+and goes, “Come on.” She grabs her kid’s arm and
+
+they both leave deeper into the crowd.
+
+LAURA: You should have let me and Yasha pick you
+up.
+
+TRAVIS: No. I’ve got this. Resituate. Grab a bit
+of a glance. (grunts)
+
+MATT: All right, try again.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s another natural one.
+
+LIAM: Cha-ching!
+
+MATT: As you, one, two–
+
+TRAVIS: This happened at Ren Fair before.
+
+MATT: You go to heave the sack, and as it does, it
+gets caught on part of your breastplate and as you
+
+pull upward there’s a (ripping) as sand goes
+scattering into the sky around, emptying the bag
+
+and pouring over you into your eyes. (spitting)
+Laughter starts to gather in the crowd around and
+
+some small clapping.
+
+MARISHA: Again, again!
+
+TRAVIS: I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but
+let’s give it a try.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Okay. Yasha, you get on one side.
+I’ll get on the other.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. That’s fine.
+
+MATT: “Well, you have one more throw.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s what I mean. I got them helping
+me.
+
+MATT: “Which one of you is taking the other
+throw?”
+
+LAURA: Oh, no. We’re going to pick Fjord up the
+way that you did the little child.
+
+MATT: “Oh, perfect. There you go.”
+
+TRAVIS: Two shit throws in a row. It can’t get any
+fucking worse.
+
+LIAM: Come on, one!
+
+Yes! Yes! Yes!
+
+ASHLEY: No!
+
+LIAM: Yes! Yes!
+
+MATT: That’s ridiculous!
+
+ASHLEY: Seriously?! Throw that away!
+
+LAURA: You need to put that shit in jail.
+
+TALIESIN: You shouldn’t have hit that woman with a
+sandbag.
+
+LIAM: That’s all right. You got them out of the
+way. When we fight a basilisk later, all those
+
+ones are gone.
+
+MATT: Jester, Yasha. How do you want to do this?
+
+LAURA: We throw Fjord.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I don’t think we help him. We just
+(whoosh).
+
+MATT: They literally shot put Fjord about three or
+four feet. (surprised grunt)
+
+ASHLEY: Did we get him in?
+
+MATT: No. He gets about four feet before he goes
+face first into the carpet. The carpet balls up in
+
+front of him as he skids for another foot, foot
+and a half, with his feet up in the air before
+
+they come to rest. There’s a dust cloud. There’s a
+loud gathering of voices going, “Ooh” and then
+
+silent as the music plays in the distance.
+
+TRAVIS: (coughing) I think that might have– I’m
+going to get a drink. You guys carry on.
+
+Ow, my pride.
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: Molly!
+
+MATT: The female guard goes and straightens out
+the carpet to get it right. “Five copper.”
+
+TALIESIN: No, he paid already.
+
+MATT: “Oh that’s right. Then, by all means.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a dexterity? With disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Because you’re looking away. It’s not a hard
+DC but–
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+MATT: 19? (whoosh) (thud) “Whoa!” The crowd begins
+cheering. “Yeah!”
+
+LAURA: Yay Molly!
+
+MATT: They hand you a second one.
+
+LAURA: Does he get a prize?
+
+MATT: “At the end.”
+
+TALIESIN: I think I may have to– I’ve spent my
+luck. I think it may be off to you and then one for you.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, okay.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+TALIESIN: Three throws. One each.
+
+LAURA: Okay!
+
+ASHLEY: By all means, Jester.
+
+SAM: Jester, use these.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+Oh, no!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s still not terrible.
+
+LAURA: I rolled two twos.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a six.
+
+MATT: Jester. You throw it with all your strength,
+and it goes straight up. Hits you in the top of
+
+the head and dangles off one of your horns.
+
+LAURA: Did it mess up my jewelry?
+
+ASHLEY: Here, hold on.
+
+TALIESIN: Wait. Right, let’s just–
+
+ASHLEY: Don’t let it snag the earrings.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s out.
+
+LAURA: Thank you. Go Yasha!
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+ASHLEY: Four.
+
+TRAVIS: We suck at this.
+
+ASHLEY: Just let me do it. I know I’ll get it in.
+
+MATT: As it arcs, it lands. There’s a little poof
+of dust behind. It only gets about four feet from
+
+you, unfortunately.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s like a weird shape, you know?
+
+LAURA: It changes in the air.
+
+TALIESIN: I hardly know, but I’ve thrown a baby
+before. Odd.
+
+MATT: “However, we do have one successful in!” and
+they reach over into a satchel on the side and
+
+pull out– “A fresh strawberry for the victor.”
+
+LAURA: That’s it? A strawberry?
+
+TRAVIS: Is it red?
+
+MATT: It’s actually pretty tasty. Fresh, sweet.
+It’s delicious.
+
+TALIESIN: Mmm. Mm-hmm.
+
+TRAVIS: How much for a strawberry?
+
+MATT: “Oh, we don’t sell the strawberries. You can
+buy them further in. Here, you pay for the
+
+"prestige of a victory and a strawberry. If you get
+all three, you get a candied apple.”
+
+LAURA: (gasps)
+
+TALIESIN: (muffled) Tastes better with the
+victory.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, what was the other game? Forget
+this.
+
+LAURA: Caleb and Nott are already there.
+
+MATT: While this was transpiring, you guys go to
+catch up while Caleb and Nott have approached the
+
+young half-elven woman who is shouting, “King’s
+Vault!” As you approach, you see she has her hair
+
+tied back, and she’s barking with this utmost
+confidence. “King’s Vault! Come play! Anyone, come
+
+"to the front! Show us your majesty of attention!”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, what sort of game is it that you are
+running?
+
+MATT: “Well, you place either a silver or a gold
+piece up and I will–” and she pulls up three
+
+silver cups. “I will place it underneath one of
+these. Mix it around. Pay attention. Guess the
+
+"right one. Get your coin back plus one. Get it
+wrong, coin stays with me. Simple game.”
+
+LIAM: Well, I just so happen to have three silver
+on me. It takes one silver to play?
+
+MATT: “Yes. At least.”
+
+LIAM: At least. Well, I am feeling lucky today and
+always. Here it is.
+
+MATT: “Onto the table.” She takes the center cup
+(click). Cup’s over it.
+
+SAM: I’m looking. I’m going to hold my wire up to
+my mouth.
+
+MATT: All righty. That being the case, I would
+like you both to roll a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Does my Keen Mind help me at all in this
+situation?
+
+MATT: Strangely, it does not.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: Four.
+
+MATT: As soon as she finishes the rotation, she
+stops and goes, “Very well,” and you, has to be
+
+the right one. Has to be the center.
+
+LIAM: I will go with the center one.
+
+SAM: It’s the one on the right!
+
+LIAM: I think it is this one right here.
+
+SAM: The right one. No! You’re getting the wrong
+one! The right one!
+
+LIAM: I will go with the middle one. I think it’s
+probably the correct place.
+
+MATT: She tips the cup. Indeed the silver is
+there. “Congratulations! With that, your earnings
+
+"doubled,” and gives you a secondary silver.
+
+LIAM: Two silver. Well, you know, I just wanted to
+play the game. I’m not trying to make any money.
+
+Did you want to do anything here?
+
+SAM: I’d like to compete please.
+
+LIAM: I give her my two silver. Do me proud.
+
+SAM: Yes please.
+
+MATT: “A silver?”
+
+SAM: Yeah, here.
+
+MATT: “Of course.” Coin goes down. Cups over it.
+Now there’s a small crowd gathering. Now people
+
+are starting to watch. There was a victory
+apparently, and some cheers.
+
+LIAM: I am going to back up like five or six steps
+and also do the same thing Nott did.
+
+MATT: She begins shifting and shifting and
+shifting and shifting. Eyes focused on you.
+
+Starting to look strangely at you. “Very well.
+Choose.” Now go ahead and roll a perception check.
+
+SAM: That’s a natural one.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: You were paying attention. All of a sudden,
+you lost it. Looking up at her eyes, you were so
+
+caught off guard by her staring at your fairly
+well-concealed goblin visage, but seemingly not
+
+enough, as she has a curious raised eyebrow. That
+spooks you for a second. You go “Oh, shit!” You
+
+lost track of the cups.
+
+LIAM: I got a total of 20.
+
+MATT: Total of 20. On the perception? Okay. “What
+are you going to pick?”
+
+SAM: I will choose– eenie, meenie, miney.
+
+LIAM: Do I get a chance to whisper to her what I
+saw? Because I want to do the same thing.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah okay.
+
+Oh, that’s not so good. That is a six.
+
+MATT: As you begin to pull your hands up and
+mutter your incantations, she goes, “Ahem. No
+
+"funny business.”
+
+LIAM: Oh, I am a funny guy.
+
+MATT: “I could tell. Ha ha. Now?”
+
+SAM: I’m going to pick the one on– the middle.
+
+MATT: “The middle.” She pulls the cup back. Empty.
+“Aw. A good try.” Scoops the coin off the table.
+
+SAM: I failed you, Caleb! I’m so sorry. I took
+your silver, and I let it go. I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but you know also, the other day, you
+gave me 200 gold, so it’s not really a problem.
+
+SAM: I know, but it’s the principle.
+
+MATT: “Well if you have 200 gold, you are more
+than welcome to place a gold piece up here as well.”
+
+SAM: We’re okay. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Very well.”
+
+LIAM: I give her the stink-eye as we walk away.
+
+MATT: “Take care of your green friend there.”
+
+LIAM: I intensify the stink-eye.
+
+MATT: At this point, you guys turn around and you
+see the rest of your party has caught up to you.
+
+Fjord covered in dry dust.
+
+TALIESIN: I won a strawberry.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord can’t throw.
+
+LIAM: Did you have a different kind of dream?
+
+TRAVIS: N– No.
+
+LIAM: Beat again.
+
+SAM: He won a silver, but I lost it.
+
+ASHLEY: What game did you play?
+
+LIAM: It was called King’s Crown.
+
+SAM: King’s Vault.
+
+LIAM: That’s what I said.
+
+LAURA: Oh, the one where they spin it around and
+you see which cup it is.
+
+LIAM: She was very quick, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: I wonder if there are any more games.
+
+MATT: You glance around, keeping an eye open as
+you guys continue. You’ve now hit the deeper edge
+
+of the Pentamarket. The crowds around you are
+fairly dense at this point. There are people
+
+laughing and talking. They’re carrying various
+baked goods that are fresh out of the nearby carts
+
+or oven. The smell creeps into your senses and
+takes over from that point. Children run past and
+
+bump you in the side. Some are holding two ends of
+a streamer, and the streamers continue past and
+
+flap around, hitting people. It’s adorable and
+delightfully intense. The guard presence is very
+
+much felt here, but everyone is in high spirits.
+You get the sense that everyone has been waiting
+
+to get to this festival, to this moment here. It’s
+a much different atmosphere than the gala you had
+
+seen a week before in the Tri-Spires.
+
+TRAVIS: They needed this catharsis, it feels
+like.
+
+TALIESIN Quite a party.
+
+MARISHA: I want to find the most ridiculous mead
+out there.
+
+MATT: Oh, there are quite a few mead stands, so
+it’s easy enough for you. Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: Meat or mead?
+
+MARISHA: Mead.
+
+LAURA: I want to find the candied apples.
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+MATT: Very easy to find through a couple of
+sleight questions to some of the noncompetitive
+
+barkers. You manage to find a small meadery stand
+that’s near the outskirts of one of the large
+
+arena structures, that you haven’t seen used since
+you arrived in this city. As you approach, the
+
+older guy there, with this curled and unkempt
+chin-beard that looks like part of it isn’t
+
+growing on the right side. You approach and he has
+all this thick, dark jugs of mead, and he is like,
+
+“Hey, you want some mead?”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, do you have mead that doesn’t taste
+like piss?
+
+MATT: “I have mead that’ll get you fucked up.”
+
+MARISHA: That’ll do.
+
+MATT: “Might taste like piss still.”
+
+SAM: He did not answer your question.
+
+LIAM: That’ll do, pig.
+
+MARISHA: What’s your highest proof mead?
+
+MATT: He picks up one jug (sniffs). “That one” and
+hold it out for you to smell. It’s pretty strong.
+
+It smells slightly acrid, but not in a bad way.
+Just in a strong mead way.
+
+TRAVIS: Slightly vinegar.
+
+MARISHA: Still smells like piss, man.
+
+MATT: “Welp, depends what you want. Do you want
+strong or do you want tasty? You got to pick.”
+
+MARISHA: Strong.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, good choice.
+
+MATT: “That’ll be a nice, fair filled cup. For a
+silver.”
+
+TALIESIN: This about when I run up: What’d you
+get?
+
+MARISHA: Barbarian pee, but it’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: What are the options?
+
+MATT: He pulls up three jugs. He says, “This end,
+tasty. This end, fuck you up. This one, little bit
+
+"of A, little bit of B.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take whatever’s most expensive.
+
+MATT: Grabs the same stuff that Beau got, the
+heavier, thick stuff. Pours, gives you a cup full
+
+of it. “That’ll be a silver piece.”
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: Takes it. It’s strong, the aftertaste isn’t
+too bad. It’s the initial, weird, sour, vinegary,
+
+impact, but then the sweetness comes in afterward.
+It sets well, and it’s strong. As you guys are
+
+walking around and keeping an eye, you do see
+there is another stand that has an elevated
+
+platform called Titan’s Grasp. There are four
+soldiers of the Righteous Brand, the Empire
+
+Military, that are currently manning it. They’re
+wearing their plate mail of silver and
+
+dark-crimson design. A large, cubed stone, two
+feet by two feet, is set on top of this platform
+
+with a metal bar that is wedged beneath it, that
+it’s leaning against. The metal bar has a
+
+cylindrical center point, like a fulcrum. There is
+a large hammer, that one of them is currently
+
+holding to the side. As you begin to approach, you
+see one guy there, who’s currently spitting into
+
+his hands, grabs the hammer (grunts). As he hits
+the metal bar, the stone goes (slight scraping)
+
+barely shifts. He sets down the hammer and
+everyone’s like: “Yay” and he goes, “I moved it!”
+
+Steps down off the platform.
+
+TRAVIS: They’re celebrating anything these days.
+
+LAURA: Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: We should go play this game.
+
+ASHLEY: I was really looking forward to looking
+for ridiculous meats. Not meads, but maybe we can–
+
+MARISHA: Oh, meat sounds great too.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the day is young.
+
+ASHLEY: Let’s go play this game.
+
+TRAVIS: Not play, crush this game.
+
+LAURA: We get a candied apple, okay?
+
+MATT: You approach the four soldiers that are up
+there. One of them comes up to you, the one who
+
+has the hammer at his side after retrieving it
+from the last person, goes, “Hey all right, are
+
+"you willing to play some Titan’s Grasp, eh?”
+
+ASHLEY and LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “All right, it’s five silver an entry.”
+
+LAURA: Five silver.
+
+ASHLEY What’s the prize?
+
+MATT: “Single swing, but winner gets the current
+pot. Which stands at–” and he turns to one of the
+
+other guards who goes through a small bag and
+goes, “That’s going to run about 43 gold.”
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll give five gold. Five silver, I mean.
+I’m so sorry.
+
+MATT: “All right, one swing. You?”
+
+LAURA: Yes, yes, yes!
+
+MATT: “One swing for you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Two swings.
+
+ASHLEY: Two swings? Shit, okay.
+
+MATT: “Take as many as you want. No one’s turned
+it over this morning yet.”
+
+ASHLEY: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: Can you rage at this thing when you–
+
+ASHLEY: That’s what I was going to try.
+
+LAURA: Nice.
+
+TRAVIS and ASHLEY: When in doubt.
+
+MATT: “Who’s going first?”
+
+LAURA: Yasha can go first.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’ll go first.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to wait to give him my money
+because I have a feeling Yasha might win. I’m
+
+going to wait.
+
+MATT: “Oh, I like that. Your friend’s got
+confidence in you. All right, big missy.” Hands
+
+you the heavy hammer. It’s not too heavy in your
+grasp.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, Yasha!
+
+MATT: It’s not very well balanced either. It��s not
+a battle-ready hammer, it’s designed for this type
+
+of a show experience. You get the sense this
+hammer would not be the most effective for this.
+
+It might be intentional. It’s your turn, people
+start gathering. You’re up on an elevated two foot
+
+platform there. They have the metal bar fulcrum,
+all set beneath the stone. Hammer’s in your hands,
+
+what do you do?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I would like to rage. Ah! Just
+strength?
+
+MATT: This is a strength check, yeah. You have
+advantage while you’re raging. Roll twice, take
+
+the higher, and add your strength modifier.
+
+ASHLEY: Oof. Okay, 17.
+
+MATT: 17. (grunts) (ringing impact) You hit the
+metal bar, the stone (scraping) falls back into
+
+rest. It’s a heavy stone.
+
+LAURA: What are we trying to do here?
+
+MATT: The stone is resting on the lower part and
+there is a fulcrum round centerpiece to it. You’re
+
+trying to hit on this end to push the stone to
+roll over. It moved slightly and falls back into
+
+place. “Good try! That was very strong there,
+lass. Don’t worry.”
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I have another go.
+
+MATT: “Well pay another.”
+
+ASHLEY: I did. I gave you ten.
+
+MATT: “Oh you did? Tell me this when you’re
+counting this, bud. Go ahead, second swing.”
+
+TALIESIN: You get another swing, yeah.
+
+MATT: You get advantage while raging, so–
+
+ASHLEY: 24.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Ooh!
+
+MATT: You pull back, and the one guy is looking
+over to one of the mates on the side and starts
+
+laughing. Suddenly (impact) (scraping) (larger
+impact). The stone shifts, slams on to the other
+
+side. All four of them go (gasp).
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: Yasha!
+
+MATT: Now suddenly the crowd around, that you
+didn’t notice gathering, start cheering: “Yay!”
+
+Looks over to the one guard who had the pouch,
+“Okay then, congratulations.”
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Hands it over.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I count it?
+
+MATT: Yeah go for it. You take a moment to count
+through, while staring at him. It comes out to
+
+roughly about 43 gold worth of silver, including
+the ten silver that you put into it. Or not
+
+including the ten silver, so in addition to that.
+It would be 44 gold worth but it’s mostly silver pieces.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit, how much–
+
+LIAM: About seven feet away, out of habit, Caleb
+just went: (counting).
+
+LAURA: That will buy us so many candied apples.
+
+MATT: All the guards go over and shift the stone
+back over onto the fulcrum. They pull in and bring
+
+out about a gold piece each, to throw five gold
+back into the pot. They go, “All right, back up.
+
+"Who wants in?”
+
+ASHLEY: She’s next.
+
+LAURA: Oh, well all right. Five gold is– all
+right.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll toss in a gold piece just to make it
+interesting.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, no, I’ll do that when I see you
+going in.
+
+LAURA: What!? You guys.
+
+MATT: The guards are going, “Wait, into the–”
+
+LAURA: You’re going to play, right?
+
+TRAVIS: For the game, right?
+
+SAM: I will take that bet. I’ll bet against her.
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+SAM: I got one gold that says she cannot do this.
+
+MARISHA: I’m the booker, so you pay me.
+
+SAM: I don’t think that’s how that works.
+
+LAURA: I roll for strength check?
+
+MATT: Yup, roll a strength check, add your
+strength modifier.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: (resounding impact) As you slam down again,
+the stone goes (impact). It rolls over a second time.
+
+TRAVIS: Two in a row.
+
+MATT: Seemingly, the fulcrum set after you knocked
+it over prepared her for a better slam. As it
+
+hits, the four soldiers of the Righteous Brand
+look at each other, “We’re going to take a break
+
+"here for a second. Return here in about 30
+minutes.” They hand the money over to you get
+
+five, six gold.
+
+LAURA: Seven gold.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott.
+
+SAM: Here’s one gold. I just wanted to fire her
+up.
+
+LAURA: Thanks, Nott. It worked.
+
+SAM: I know.
+
+MATT: They’re going to inspect the hammer,
+inspecting the fulcrum, inspecting the stone, and
+
+they’re basically in the process of wondering if
+they had somehow been cheated out of this. They
+
+can’t find anything.
+
+LAURA: I skip away.
+
+MATT: At this point now, the smell of warm,
+candied fruit begins to waft past you. You glance
+
+over and can see there is a large cart that is
+selling all sort of sweet fruit that have been
+
+coated in sugar. Some have a sticky syrup
+exterior, and there are candied apples available
+
+for purchase. Depends on how much you guys want to
+purchase, if any.
+
+ASHLEY: I would very much– I have never had a
+candied apple before.
+
+LAURA: You have to try them. They’re so good!
+
+SAM: You’ve never had a candied apple before? It
+seems so basic. It’s honey and an apple.
+
+LAURA: Well, the candied apples are hard, right?
+The caramel apples are softer. Do you have caramel apples?
+
+MATT: You can see the older woman who’s there, who
+a little bit portly with a big smile, rosy cheeks,
+
+pulls from behind the counter– “They’re still
+cooling off.” You can see a small tray that has
+
+about six caramel covered apples that you see are
+still gleaming in the little bit of light that’s
+
+coming from the cloudy sky.
+
+LAURA: Yes. That’s what I wanted!
+
+LIAM: I haven’t had one of those in such a long
+time.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to buy one for all of us.
+
+MATT: “All right, that’s going to be–”
+
+SAM: We have to share one?
+
+MATT: “Two copper each. For seven, that’ll put you
+at 14 copper.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. How much does that add up to in
+silver?
+
+TALIESIN: One silver, four copper.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I pass it over.
+
+MATT: “There’s six caramel apples here, and you
+have seven with you.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s okay. No, it gets stuck in your
+teeth.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take the candy, because I’ve never
+had it.
+
+MATT: “Candy apple, all right, for you and the six
+for you. (shouting) All out of caramel apples for
+
+"the time being, but return here in an hour!”
+
+LAURA: An hour! You have to wait because we got
+all of them!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: There’s this little girl across the way
+who’s like–
+
+LAURA: Aw. I cut a little slice off and give her
+one little slice.
+
+MATT: You approach, and she gets scared. As you
+get closer you can see she looks a little
+
+disheveled. Probably one of the less well-off
+people of the city of Zadash. You don’t see a
+
+parental figure in the near vicinity.
+
+LAURA: Where’s your mama? Do you have a mama? Is
+she around?
+
+MATT: Just runs off.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, I was going to give you more, but
+okay. Goodbye.
+
+SAM: Should we go after her? I can hunt her down.
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+LIAM: While I start to enjoy my apple, I would
+like to look around and see if there are any book
+
+stalls or book barrels.
+
+SAM: Those festive book stalls.
+
+TALIESIN: A barrel of books!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Candied books, candied books!
+
+TRAVIS: The little girl disappeared into the
+crowd, or did she join a bunch of other kids?
+
+MATT: She disappeared into the crowd.
+
+LIAM: Perception, you said?
+
+SAM: Throw a dart. Win a book.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: It does not appear that there is a strong
+presence of tome and/or book retailers as part of
+
+the celebration, unfortunately.
+
+LIAM: Okay, while I was looking round, is there
+anything besides games and food?
+
+MATT: There’s games. There’s food. There are
+celebratory tapestries in the colors of autumn.
+
+You see small, pressed crests of the Empire that
+are used to either hang over your door as a good
+
+luck charm or to use as decor on the interior. A
+lot of it’s knick-knacks and general collectibles.
+
+Most everyone out here, it’s a craft fair on top
+of being a celebratory– There’s a bunch of random
+
+odds and ends that people collect or purchase to
+add to their home interior.
+
+LIAM: Huge long shot probably a no, but do I also
+see anything about the Cobalt Soul here?
+
+MATT: Glancing about, you do see the occasional
+person of the Cobalt Soul robes, but they’re not
+
+selling anything here.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run up behind: Caleb, have
+you run Detect Magic on any of this?
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, I tried to do a little stuff
+on the sly a little while ago and didn’t work out so well.
+
+TALIESIN: Just, there’s so much. I figure
+something’s got to be interesting.
+
+LIAM: Well, if you can keep eyes off of me for a
+moment, I can do that if you like.
+
+TALIESIN: I can absolutely do that. I’m going to
+run towards the tapestry booth.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: There you can see, it’s a long, thin cart
+that’s mainly things on display. It looks like
+
+it’s two wooden dowel rods at each side of this
+booth, that all push together at the center. All
+
+the tapestries are hung over the side on display
+for the front end. There’s three individuals that
+
+are manning this booth. There isn’t a whole lot of
+transaction going on there. It’s a little more of
+
+a specialty item in the sense that not everyone
+needs to fill their place with tapestries. They’re on display.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m seeing if there’s anything deeply
+gaudy.
+
+MATT: Yes, actually. There is one that is an
+insignia or an interpretation of the symbol of the
+
+Platinum Dragon. It is silver threads among a
+standard sky-blue coloring. There’s several
+
+different dragon heads that are woven into the
+pattern. There’s almost an embroidery. For as much
+
+as you’ve known about the Platinum Dragon and the
+religion, it’s surprisingly gaudy.
+
+LIAM: I’m trailing about 40 feet behind Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s beautiful. How much is that,
+then?
+
+MATT: One of the people running the booth,
+quickly, as you see a mid-30s, half-elf man with a
+
+bit of chin scruff and very short hair, leans
+around the corner and goes, “Oh, for the Platinum
+
+"Dragon. This one was handcrafted by me and my
+mate, over the period of about two months. Hand
+
+"embroidered. Very difficult. Very exquisite. For
+the entire piece, the central piece you’re
+
+"inquiring about, that’ll run you about ten gold
+pieces. We have smaller, almost doily-sized
+
+"renditions of it back here.”
+
+TALIESIN: How big is this piece, out of
+curiosity?
+
+MATT: He takes the back and unfolds it entirely
+but can’t quite get the full arm length to get up
+
+there. He’s like, “This one’s about six and a
+half, seven feet from top to bottom. Can be used
+
+"as a rug, should you be so inclined and you aren’t
+quite a fan of the Platinum Dragon and want him
+
+"beneath your feet–”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s purchased. Ten gold? My god.
+
+MATT: “Right away!” He takes it, begins folding it
+up with one of his other compatriots. They take
+
+the twine and manage to fasten it in three
+places.
+
+TALIESIN: Bless you, master craftsmen! My god. It
+is such a rendition of the Platinum Dragon that
+
+I’ve never seen before. I clutch at my Platinum
+Dragon brooch. It’s beautiful.
+
+MATT: He says, “We’re happy to bring joy to you
+and the house of your great deity.” They hand you
+
+this relatively massive tapestry that’s almost
+seven feet end to end.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I have fucking plans, people! Swing
+it over my shoulder, and I’ll be walking around
+
+like a pike.
+
+MATT: As this is happening, you see that there are
+two other games. You’re now seeing the central
+
+space here. You’ve walked past this structure.
+It’s this small, forum-like circular stone
+
+building that’s been emptied and closed. Now
+there’s crowds walking in and out the front
+
+doorway, and around it are where a lot of these
+games are set up. You do see one that has a big
+
+banner that says Eagle Shot. There is one large,
+central platform where it looks like this is where
+
+a lot of public presentations are given here in
+the Pentamarket. It’s currently set up with a
+
+central table and a number of members of the
+Righteous Brand, as well as one that is a very
+
+well-adorned human male with brown hair that’s
+pulled up into a topknot. He has a big, thick
+
+beard. Looks like a handsome fellow and he’s
+currently barking out something about the
+
+military. You’re too far away to make out the
+details of it. That one has a wooden carved sign
+
+that says Soldier’s Spirit. It’s currently put on
+the edge of the stage.
+
+LAURA: Where in relation to all of this is the
+Hearth of the Allhammer? Because I know it’s in
+
+the Pentamarket.
+
+MATT: The Hearth of the Allhammer would be on the
+other side of this large, forum-like structure.
+
+SAM: I’m going to walk over to the Eagle Shot, was
+it?
+
+MATT: Eagle Shot, yes.
+
+SAM: What’s that game look like?
+
+MATT: As you approach, there are two crownsguard
+that are helming a small, compact archery range.
+
+There’s a series of trees that are at the very
+back that mark what would normally be an alcove in
+
+this small park, but within this alcove there are
+three archery targets that are slightly off from
+
+each other at different distances. They have a
+rack with different bows and a whole cache of
+
+arrows that are set to the side.
+
+MARISHA: (laughter) I’m just standing there like,
+what?
+
+SAM: Bows? Nah.
+
+LAURA: You could do it!
+
+SAM: It’s too hard to pull it back! This thing
+does it for you, look. (click)
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Maybe they’ll let you use it.
+
+SAM: I guess I could go ask. Excuse me, sir or
+madam?
+
+MATT: The first guard turns around. “Oh, little
+girl, good to see you. What can I help you with?”
+
+SAM: I’m wondering if you have to use a bow and
+arrow to compete or can you use one of these?
+
+MATT: “What do you– ” Which, you still have a
+bolt nocked in this hand crossbow. He’s like, “Put the– ”
+
+SAM: I’m not going to fire it at you! I don’t have
+anything wrong with it.
+
+MATT: “Little miss, you shouldn’t be waving that
+around in public. I’m not sure how you got a hold
+
+"of that. Where’s your mother?”
+
+SAM: My father is over there.
+
+LIAM: Did you want to play this game?
+
+SAM: Yes, papa.
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, by the rules you have to use
+one of the provided bows.”
+
+SAM: This one is pretty good.
+
+MATT: “Please put– sir, your daughter is a danger
+to the general public right now.”
+
+LIAM: No, she is an excellent shot. She’s
+trained.
+
+MATT: “Well, she has not been trained proper use
+of that in a space in which is it safe for other
+
+"people to be around. I’m just saying.”
+
+LIAM: Sure. How much to play your game?
+
+MATT: “Could I see that for a second?”
+
+LIAM: My daughter’s crossbow, you want?
+
+MATT: Takes it, the crossbow, and pulls the string
+back, removes the tension, hands it back. “There.
+
+"Would either of you like to play some Eagle Shot?”
+Behind them, somebody like–
+
+SAM: Now I feel like we have to. He just
+human-splained me.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The other guard behind is currently setting
+up an older woman who is in the process of getting
+
+the arrow lined up, and it keeps falling out of
+her grip and the other guard’s like, “No, put it
+
+"here,” and getting ready. Finally fires an arrow
+and it goes and disappears past one of the trees,
+
+“Oh, no!”
+
+LIAM: Well, you know, I’ll tell you something. If
+you want to have a laugh, let’s have me do some
+
+physical sports, so that should be pretty good.
+
+SAM: That’ll be fun. All right, let’s do it. We
+will both enter your competition.
+
+MATT: “Very well. That’s one silver piece for
+three shots. Closest bullseye, if acquired, you
+
+"get a rat from a cage.” He pulls off from the side
+here; you see a small stack of wicker cages with
+
+rats inside them. “Get yourself a pet rat. If you
+go ahead and get that middle bullseye, about part
+
+"way across that range, there, you win yourself one
+of these finely crafted wooden swords.” They have
+
+this decently whittled wooden sword. The center
+cross hilt for it is strapped with twine tightly.
+
+Swings it a couple times and sets it down, lays it
+against and it rests and hits the ground off to
+
+the side. “Now the farthest one over there–” and
+you watch as the old woman pulls another shot and
+
+it almost hits the far target before it gets stuck
+in the tree about ten feet behind it, “Hit that
+
+"one way back there and that one will get you
+this.” He pulls up a haphazard, stitched doll with
+
+button eyes, like the stitches are too wide so it
+looks like the crosses behind it are visible.
+
+There’s no mouth. There’s like, matted twine hair,
+some felt-like material that’s made a crown and a
+
+cape. “Of our fine King Bertrand Dwendal.”
+
+LIAM: Just a question for you. Should I hit the
+one in the back, which is highly likely, could we
+
+have the doll’s weight in rats instead?
+
+MATT: He gives you a look like you said a bad
+word. He goes, “I suppose.”
+
+SAM: How far is the farthest one?
+
+MATT: He glances back. “It’s probably about 80
+feet.”
+
+SAM: Let’s try.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, I really want that wooden sword.
+
+SAM: You don’t have a sword, do you?
+
+TRAVIS: Creepy little doll, man!
+
+MARISHA: Don’t listen to Fjord.
+
+LAURA: Get the doll. I bet it’s cursed!
+
+SAM: I can’t work with this kind of pressure!
+
+MARISHA: Nott. If you get that sword, I’ll give
+you my jade bracelet.
+
+SAM: Oh man!
+
+LIAM: Is this an attack roll?
+
+MATT: It is an attack roll, and it’s a short bow.
+He said about 80 feet, but the farthest one’s
+
+about 100 feet. Which means it is in its second
+range increment, so the one in the back is at disadvantage.
+
+SAM: I’m not proficient in this thing at all,
+right?
+
+MATT: Well, let’s go ahead and see. Rogue
+proficiencies. It’s a simple ranged weapon. You
+
+should be. I’m pretty sure you are. Yep, simple
+weapons. You are proficient with the short bow.
+
+“Who’s going first, if you don’t mind me asking?”
+
+LIAM: Let me show my daughter how it is done.
+
+MATT: “Of course, understood.” Hands you one of
+the short bows off of the side and three arrows.
+
+They’re all right in their construction.
+
+LIAM: Watch my form and technique. I pick up the
+bow, and I take the stick thing. I pull it back like this.
+
+MATT: “Oh– I–”
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+MATT: “No, continue.”
+
+LIAM: (sneezes)
+
+MATT: Which target are you aiming for?
+
+LIAM: The farthest one, obviously.
+
+MATT: The farthest? All right, with disadvantage.
+Add your dexterity modifier.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+MATT: I do not think you’re proficient–
+
+LIAM: Aww, no, not at all. That is a three.
+
+MATT: Well, as a wizard, you might be, actually.
+For simple weapons.
+
+Nope. No, you are not.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it just simple weapons, or is it
+simple ranged weapons?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s simple ranged weapons, but those
+count as simple weapons.
+
+TALIESIN: Simple weapons, okay.
+
+MATT: It gets about 40 or so feet before it gets
+stuck in the dirt. He’s like, “That was good.”
+
+LIAM: Hmm. The fretching on that one was
+probably not very good. Let me try again.
+
+SAM: I think it’s fletch– yeah.
+
+LIAM: Listen, I have read a lot of books. I know
+it is fretching.
+
+MATT: You nock your secondary arrow. Take a shot.
+
+LIAM: Nope. Dang it. The second rolls are always
+really good! That is an eight.
+
+MATT: This one gets about five feet further and
+almost hits a squirrel. You hear (squeaking), and
+
+it darts off into a nearby bush.
+
+LAURA: You could have got your own prize!
+
+SAM: One more shot. You can do this!
+
+LIAM: This is not well-crafted. I grab my wire
+that I use for the message spell, and I put my
+
+hair into a little ponytail.
+
+LAURA: You shouldn’t use wire to do that, Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: It damages your hair.
+
+LIAM: (pew) Okay. Oh no. Ten.
+
+MATT: This one gets 40 feet, which is halfway
+there, before it hits the ground and sticks into
+
+the dirt. As soon as it finishes, there’s like a,
+“That was good. Go fetch that.” The other guard
+
+runs out and grabs the arrows to retrieve them.
+
+LIAM: Full disclosure: I have no athletic ability.
+That went as well as I expected it to.
+
+MATT: “That is surprising. Well, a fine Harvest
+Close to you, friend, and for your daughter.”
+
+SAM: Yes, it’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Hands the bow over, and a set of three
+arrows.
+
+LAURA: He’s going with the dice jail dice! You
+should not have done that.
+
+SAM: Do I add proficiency and–
+
+MATT: Proficiency and your dex mod.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: This one arcs. It almost gets near the
+target, but ends up veering off to the right and
+
+ends up vanishing behind one of the secondary
+targets near the tree. He says, “Yeah, that was
+
+"better than your father.”
+
+SAM: What is that? 12.
+
+MATT: This one hits the actual base of the far
+target. Misses the target entirely, but it hits
+
+the actual plank of wood that’s holding it up.
+
+MARISHA: See, the beads have a little bit of like,
+gold embossing, etching inside of them.
+
+SAM: Far target. 15.
+
+MATT: It hits the bottom of the target. No
+bullseye, but you hit it. He’s like, “That was
+
+"actually very good.”
+
+SAM: Shut up! I don’t need you to condescend to
+me! Give me another one!
+
+MATT: “Right away, little missy.” Grabs three more
+arrows.
+
+LIAM: I slap down the silver for it.
+
+SAM: Thank you!
+
+LIAM: Yeah. It was two, right?
+
+MATT: One silver for three shots.
+
+LIAM: I put down two silver.
+
+MATT: Six more shots, all right. “There you go.”
+
+LAURA: She won’t need six more shots.
+
+SAM: Two, in quick succession. 20.
+
+MATT: As you pull back, perfect bullseye into the
+farthest target. There’s this brief pause as the
+
+guard spins around and goes, “What– ”
+
+SAM: I’m not done! I get four more shots! Two in
+quick succession to the middle one.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it still disadvantage to the middle
+target?
+
+MATT: Middle one is not at disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Oh, well then. Should I reroll? Okay. I will
+still use your shitty dice. Two 23s.
+
+MATT: Both arrows– we’re talking, like, Disney
+Robin Hood-style, one arrow, next one splits the
+
+first arrow. The guard’s still recovering from the
+first bullseye, he’s like, “What?!”
+
+SAM: Then two more. To the short one. 16 and a
+21.
+
+MATT: Both hit at the same time. The guard looks
+slowly over towards you. “Well done.”
+
+LIAM: Now go home and get your fucking shinebox.
+
+MATT: “Here’s your doll.”
+
+TALIESIN: And the sword?
+
+MATT: “Two swords.”
+
+LAURA: Two swords!
+
+ASHLEY: I thought it was the rats–
+
+MATT: “Two rats.”
+
+LAURA: Double rats!
+
+ASHLEY: Double rats, yeah. That’s it? Because I
+thought that was dinner. We have–
+
+TALIESIN: We’re not eating the rats.
+
+LAURA: We’ll find some other dinner, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s my favorite.
+
+MATT: You now have in your inventory: two rats in
+rat cages, two wooden swords–
+
+SAM: You can have both wooden swords.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, thanks!
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, do you eat rat a lot?
+
+MATT: A hand-stitched doll of King Bertrand
+Dwendal.
+
+LAURA: That’s a really good doll.
+
+SAM: Oh, it really is. Would you like the rats?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, were you going to eat one?
+
+SAM: Well, we can share.
+
+TRAVIS: Alive, or do you cook it?
+
+ASHLEY: No, I like to have it cooked. It falls off
+the bone. It’s like a nice–
+
+SAM: Oh, I can wait. I guess.
+
+LIAM: It really depends on what you have at your
+disposal. Yeah?
+
+SAM: Later. It’ll be a celebratory– we could
+candy them.
+
+LAURA: Or caramel them!
+
+ASHLEY: Let’s try it.
+
+LAURA: Can I start to wander away towards the
+Allhammer?
+
+MARISHA: Look, guys. I’m Molly. Look! I want to go
+over to the military booth.
+
+SAM: Don’t cut yourself!
+
+MATT: While this is happening, Jester, you make
+your way around the large forum, and there you see
+
+the Hearth of the Allhammer. You’ve passed it
+before, and you can see it’s the domed, iron
+
+structure. It’s been left to rust a bit at the
+edges. The tops of the dome are polished where
+
+it’s easily accessible, but the very peak of the
+dome is a little bit red, brown, rusted. There are
+
+a number of open arches in the inside, and you see
+the large, central forge that marks the center of the temple.
+
+LAURA: Is there a statue of the Allfather? The
+Allhammer guy?
+
+MATT: You do see the large anvil that marks there
+has the symbol of the Allfather printed on each
+
+side and acts as both a ceremonial anvil for the
+creation of religious artefacts and items as part
+
+of worship and as the central statue for worship
+itself. That is the closest thing there is in this
+
+temple to a central focus of worship.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, be real careful with that doll; they
+put little spirits of kids in those.
+
+LAURA: Is there any guards around or are they
+mostly gone because of the celebration?
+
+MATT: It’s not busy on the inside because right
+now everyone’s focus is on the actual celebration.
+
+There are three individuals that are manning the
+interior of the temple, one of which is the
+
+herald. Each temple in the city has a herald
+that’s the keeper of that temple. It’s a female
+
+dwarf, dark brown hair and three long braids that
+trail past to the middle back with a chainmail
+
+robe on that descends past the knees and is
+currently sitting on a bench and eating dried meat
+
+out of a small pouch and people watching as people
+walk by the temple. Nobody’s in there actively
+
+worshipping at the moment.
+
+LAURA: I go inside.
+
+SAM: Burn the place down.
+
+MATT: Do you go in trying to avoid attention or
+are you announcing yourself as you arrive?
+
+LAURA: No. I’m going to casually walk in. Just,
+you know.
+
+MATT: As you walk in, a voice in the corner from
+the direction of where the herald was goes, “Miss,
+
+"if you need something, don’t be afraid to let me
+know. We’re just sitting around.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, I should have disguised myself first. I
+leave. Go literally right around the corner and
+
+disguise myself, and I come right back in.
+
+MATT: What do you disguise yourself as?
+
+LAURA: I cast Disguise Self as an old woman– oof,
+who just burped?
+
+MATT: You?
+
+LAURA: No, it wasn’t me. With like a really tight
+bun and little teeny glasses and a cane. I guess I
+
+can’t make myself have a cane, can I?
+
+MATT: No, that’s not an extension of–
+
+LAURA: All right, well I walk kind of hunched
+over.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you come around the corner and make
+your way in, you saunter in the far end of the
+
+temple through one of the arches that marks the
+interior, come in through the shadow and the
+
+herald once again goes, “If you need something,
+right over here.”
+
+LAURA: (grumbling)
+
+MATT: “All right, that’s fine.” Goes back to–
+(chuckles) already seems taken aback by your
+
+presence. What do you want to do?
+
+LAURA: Is there anybody in there? Nobody’s in
+there?
+
+MATT: Well, I mean, there’s people in there.
+
+LAURA: (whispered) Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: There’s the herald who’s sitting in the back
+eating on the opposite end of the anvil and
+
+there’s two other folks that are on the outskirts
+of the arches, looking out into the crowd, just
+
+people watching.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to walk around to the back
+end of the anvil and act like I’m praying, but I’m
+
+going to wait until it looks like they’re all
+looking the other direction.
+
+MATT: As you begin to pray, the two others that
+are on the outside, who’ve noticed you enter,
+
+their attention doesn’t wander to you for too long
+before they go back out to the celebration, people
+
+walking by and people watching in general. You’re
+on the opposite side of the anvil from the herald
+
+who’s still chewing on her meat. What do you want
+to do?
+
+LAURA: I would like to get my paint set out and
+paint pink hearts all over the back side of the
+
+anvil along with “The Traveler was here”. Then I’m
+going to leave a couple travel brochures for the
+
+Traveler. Yeah, I think that’s good but they’re
+sizeable hearts. I want nice pretty pink, all over
+
+the hammer. The anvil.
+
+MATT: Just for the sake of presentation because
+you’re doing this with a bit of haste, knowing
+
+that you’re under pressure. Go ahead and roll a
+performance check.
+
+LAURA: Okay. With a pink dice. That’s pretty good.
+18.
+
+MATT: 18. As you quickly begin to finish this
+heart, Traveler was here, you hear (yawning)
+
+across the way from the herald. You stop for a
+second– no reaction. Continue going. You finish
+
+up the art piece. One of the other guardians of
+the temple begins to turn around and walk back
+
+towards the herald and you pull back for a moment,
+but they turned away from you and it seems that
+
+you’ve managed to go this far without being
+noticed. You finish up your last heart, the
+
+exclamation point and the underline of the
+Traveler.
+
+LAURA: Oh, and I’m going to take some sequins off
+of my sequins glove and sprinkle it on there.
+
+MATT: (tinkling)
+
+LIAM: A little granny painting furiously.
+
+MATT: Just (straining). You put the pamphlets
+there on the side, slip them beneath the offering
+
+bowl at the base of it.
+
+LAURA: I want one sitting right on top of the
+anvil. Then I’m going to leave.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check on that one.
+
+SAM: Oh no.
+
+MATT: Because that will be creeping into the view
+of the herald.
+
+LAURA: 11.
+
+MATT: As you place it on top, the voice on the
+opposite end goes, “Do you need help there?
+
+"Dearie?”
+
+LAURA: (quavering) Oh, no, just leaving a little
+message for my son here. He’s a big worshipper.
+
+Ah. I walk away.
+
+MATT: As you get up and start walking away, the
+herald stands up and begins walking towards the
+
+other side of the anvil.
+
+LAURA: I walk really quickly.
+
+MATT: There’s like speedily running granny into
+the crowd and as you get–
+
+LAURA: Drop disguise.
+
+MATT: Drop disguise– in the middle of the crowd?
+
+LAURA: Well, no, I zoom around the corner.
+
+MATT: Still in your disguise as you’re charging
+into the crowd, behind you, you hear a voice
+
+(scream). “That old woman! Find her!” There’s
+screaming and you hear this ruckus as people
+
+around start looking behind at the shouting sound
+as you dart around the corner. Drop disguise and
+
+as you do, you can now see the herald and the two
+keepers of the temple are now pushing through the
+
+crowd, looking, searching like, “Has anyone seen
+an old woman?” Is describing you as best they can
+
+and it looks like there’s a bit of commotion going
+on. As you begin to disperse into the crowd,
+
+making your way–
+
+LAURA: I take a bite of my caramel apple, and I go
+walking down.
+
+MATT: You hear a crunch sound and your hand shakes
+for a second and you look down and a mysterious
+
+secondary bite was taken out of the apple.
+
+LAURA: (gasp) I lick the spot.
+
+(groaning)
+
+SAM: You’re making out with your god? Gross.
+
+MATT: They have a special relationship. While this
+is happening, you head to the military stand, you
+
+said? Anybody going with Beau?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll go.
+
+TALIESIN: I also follow.
+
+MATT: You guys approach at this point towards the
+Soldier Spear. You see this larger platform in the
+
+middle of the Pentamarket. There you see the
+central military figures wearing ornamental armor
+
+with a top knot. There is a table set up there
+with these benches and you can see there are two
+
+burly men, one who is this hairy, heavy thick
+woodsman type who is wearing a leather apron and–
+
+SAM: A Sam Riegel-type.
+
+MATT: Yes, exactly. He’s like super butch. Hand
+clasped with a trained soldier who’s wearing
+
+elements of the Righteous Brand armor but has
+taken bits of it off and they’re both going
+
+(grunting). They’re in the middle of an arm
+wrestling match and they’re both tensing back and
+
+forth (grunting) before the brawny guy slams the
+soldier’s arm down to the table. He goes
+
+(yelling). The crowd around goes (cheering).
+There’s a shout and cheer and the gentleman in the
+
+center goes, “That was well done. Well done and
+congratulations to you. Now that you’ve proven
+
+"yourself my friend, would you be interested at all
+in joining the Righteous Brand? Being a strong
+
+"warrior in his own right,” and the guy’s like,
+“Ah, piss off! I don’t want to.” He goes like,
+
+“It’s a good wage. Gold per day. Fed. All the
+equipment you need. You help keep the Empire safe.
+
+"No? All right, very well. Anyone else?”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, what’s up?
+
+MATT: “Well, we are having a contest to see who
+here is the strongest.”
+
+MARISHA: Cool. Who’s the strongest?
+
+MATT: “Well, so far, it’s that gentleman.” Points
+over to the heavy, burly fellow who’s off to the
+
+side. He’s currently flexing and cracking his
+wrist.
+
+MARISHA: If you win, do you have to stick around
+and arm wrestle a whole bunch of people because
+
+you’re suddenly the best? I don’t want to dedicate
+more time to this.
+
+MATT: “I mean, you don’t have to.”
+
+MARISHA: Do I still get to be the best though if
+this guy sticks around and just keeps going?
+
+MATT: “Probably, but don’t be surprised if other
+contenders start following you around the town to
+
+"try and take your title.”
+
+LIAM: This is like the King of Kong.
+
+MARISHA: Is this really that important to you
+guys? Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Not to us, but it’s a fun place to display
+your skill and talent. Plus, we’re always looking
+
+"for some fine young soldiers to come and join us
+out there on the fields. To take down the
+
+"Xhorhasian evils and keep all these fine folks
+here well taken care of.”
+
+MARISHA: For a gold a day?
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+MARISHA: Buying people’s loyalty for a gold a
+day?
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, I just– all right. (sighs) Heard
+something about a Victory Pit. Is this the Victory Pit?
+
+SAM: She’s the worst.
+
+MATT: He goes, “No, you’re not–” Points over and
+that large forum building, that circular forum
+
+building that you saw that now the crowd’s
+starting to wash into that had been closed off
+
+previous weeks, he goes, “That, that is the
+Victory Pit. That will be happening in a few
+
+"hours, but you’re welcome to compete here if
+you’re feeling so feisty.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, sure.
+
+MATT: “What’s your name?”
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+MATT: “Ah. Recruiter Leopold Wanstiker. Pleasure
+to meet you.”
+
+MARISHA: Person Beau. Nice to meet you. What is
+it? Leopold Sydney?
+
+MATT: Recruiter Leopold Wanstiker.
+W-A-N-S-T-I-K-E-R.
+
+MARISHA: Wang stacker. All right.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So.
+
+TRAVIS: This is top knot dude?
+
+MATT: Top knot guy, yep.
+
+LIAM: That’s the wang.
+
+MATT: “Whoever wins this, gets to go up against
+our finest solder who should be back from his
+
+"lunch break here in the next ten minutes or so. We
+have the new challenger Beau. Let’s see.” He
+
+points over to the grizzled-looking beastly man
+who’s currently chugging down the final bits of a
+
+tankard of ale. Spins around, wipes it off his
+beard and stands up. “Yeah, I’m coming.” He gets
+
+up onto the edge of the stage and goes, “Well,
+this is Kendall.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “He’s a strong fellow. Good luck.” He sits
+down.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to fail this miserably.
+
+MATT: Sits down at his stool, puts his meaty arm
+out with the fingers and goes–
+
+MARISHA: Good to meet you, Kendall.
+
+MATT: “Sure.”
+
+MARISHA: Ugh, it’s sweaty.
+
+MATT: It is sweaty.
+
+TRAVIS: Calm your mind. Just steel your mind.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, god.
+
+MATT: Leopold goes, “One, two, three!” Go ahead
+and make a strength check.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, god, just–
+
+LIAM: Those knuckle hairs are like fly legs.
+
+MARISHA: Just a check?
+
+MATT: Yep. Just a d20, add your strength
+modifier.
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Five.
+
+MATT: Five. At that center point, you immediately
+begin to give to his grasp. You see this slight
+
+grin begin to curl underneath his wiry beard as
+his arm begins to push you close to the edge of
+
+the table. Make another strength check.
+
+TRAVIS: Dig in!
+
+MARISHA: A critter gave me this. They said it was
+lucky. It’s not that lucky. 12.
+
+MATT: 12. With that (slams) onto the table. You
+lose.
+
+MARISHA: Ow!
+
+MATT: Knuckles a little bruised from the slam. He
+gets up and is like, “Ha!”
+
+TALIESIN: That was worth following around for.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Ah.
+
+TRAVIS: Thought you were going to beat him.
+
+MARISHA: I’m very slippery, I’m not– I want to do
+that Victory Pit thing, though.
+
+MATT: “Well done though, Beau. Well done. Here.”
+He hands you a small piece of parchment that’s
+
+rolled up and goes, “This is information about, if
+you’d be so interested, in coming and joining the
+
+"Righteous Brand.”
+
+SAM: Audition for our acapella group.
+
+TALIESIN: Kingsman.
+
+MATT: “You can find us at the Marrow Keeps of the
+Righteous Brand on the outskirts of the northern
+
+"end of Zadash, should you be so interested.”
+
+TRAVIS: Marrow Keeps?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: We’ve heard of that before.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: This is in the area of the Signet Wall which
+is the military district of the city.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Anyone else?” Another gentleman raises his
+hand and gets up on stage and they begin to do a
+
+showdown. The two of them begin to go back and
+forth. However, that same beastly figure, Kendall,
+
+still manages to, defeat the guy and send him to
+the table, get up again and “Ha!” Then at some
+
+point, shortly thereafter, Leopold goes, “Ah, he
+returns! He returns! (chuckling) Gunther Prast,
+
+"our finest soldier here in the city, would like to
+challenge the current standing contender.” You
+
+watch now as this massive behemoth of a man, like
+the Mountain from Game of Thrones, about seven
+
+foot, 350 pounds guy wearing the Righteous Brand
+silver and red armor, gets up onto the stage
+
+(heavy steps). Clean-shaven, except for this
+perpetual five o'clock shadow that doesn’t seem to
+
+leave his square jaw, his hair is trimmed super
+short and you see the receding hairline curling
+
+back into a widow’s peak. Sits on the table, puts
+his arm out there and you can see the huntsman,
+
+Kendall, for the first time, lose his cool. You
+watch as the two of them grasp together and
+
+they’re going to begin to roll off.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LAURA: What’s going on?
+
+SAM: Beau lost.
+
+LAURA: Beau lost at arm wrestling?
+
+MATT: You watch as the hands tighten and with
+that, Gunther begins to twist the arm, further
+
+down, further down. You can see, the huntsman
+character is starting to grimace.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, Gunther.
+
+MATT: However, pushes it back in the center. Now
+they’re currently neck and neck. Once again,
+
+Gunther pushes him back. And with that final hit.
+Wham! Kendall is taken out, like, (groaning).
+
+Grasps his hand and rubs his fingers, and darts
+off the stage, seemingly shamed in front of a
+
+crowd of people. Everyone’s like, “Oh!” There’s
+now probably about 30-40 people who watched that
+
+last match.
+
+LAURA: Go Gunther!
+
+ASHLEY: Which one did you do the arm wrestling
+with, Beau?
+
+TRAVIS: Have we met Gunther before? Is he human?
+
+MATT: He looks human. He’s just huge.
+
+TALIESIN: You should take a shot at that.
+
+ASHLEY: Are you going to take a shot at this,
+Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: (coughing) Me?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re stronger than me, right?
+
+LAURA: You’re very big and strong, Fjord!
+
+SAM: No, he’s really not.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. You know.
+
+TALIESIN: At the very least, you have a lot to
+prove.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is going to sneak off while everybody
+is involved with this.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s not good to arm wrestle 30 minutes
+after eating a caramel apple.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I never heard that one before.
+
+SAM: Yasha, you should do it. You’re very strong.
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm. You had a candied apple. You should
+be fine.
+
+ASHLEY: Extra strong? Because of the candied
+apple.
+
+TRAVIS: Your rat diet.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, Beau is– No, he didn’t.
+
+TRAVIS: No, I mean, from in your past.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: Good constitution. Yeah, come on. Let them
+know.
+
+LAURA: Do it, Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: Are you doing any more of the wrestling
+with the arms?
+
+MATT: Leopold is looking over the crowd, goes,
+“Would you like to try your hand at our finest warrior?”
+
+ASHLEY: Sure.
+
+MATT: “Come on up, Miss–”
+
+ASHLEY: (whispers) Yasha.
+
+MATT: “Miss (whispers) Yasha. (regular volume)
+Miss Yasha, our new–”
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: The crowd begins to cheer as you step up
+onto the stage. Everyone begins to gather up
+
+around the space, filling in the outskirts. You
+can see all these faces looking up at you,
+
+bright-eyed and eager to either watch you get
+destroyed or destroy. Gunther, who is currently
+
+standing with his arms crossed sees you approach.
+He’s a good, over a foot taller than you, and
+
+looks down as you walk towards the table. “Hmm.
+All right.”
+
+ASHLEY: Hello.
+
+MATT: “Hello.” Sits down, puts his elbow on the
+table with a heavy slam.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Grasps you. Both your arms–
+
+LAURA: (yelling) Use your feminine wiles!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I wouldn’t– Oh.
+
+ASHLEY: I shake my hair a little.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, don’t hold back.
+
+MATT: He’s taking a moment and looking you over,
+like he’s studying something.
+
+ASHLEY: I try not to make eye contact.
+
+MATT: He’s trying to make eye contact. Moving
+around.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m looking down and putting my hair down.
+Away.
+
+LAURA: (yelling) Her hair’s so beautiful. Woo!
+
+SAM: I don’t think that’s helping.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t look at him.
+
+SAM: It’s not a beauty contest.
+
+MATT: As Leopold is talking up this whole this
+whole, “All right, come watch now! Here is our
+
+"finest–” and it fades away in the background as
+Gunther, who’s leaning forward now, says
+
+“Interesting styling. I’ve seen it before.”
+
+ASHLEY: What do you mean?
+
+MATT: “You’re not from around here, are you?”
+
+ASHLEY: Well, neither are you. What does that have
+to do with anything?
+
+MATT: “Nothing. Just an observation. I’ve been on
+the front lines long enough.” With that, Leopold
+
+walks up and goes “Three, two–” Make a strength
+check with advantage, because he wasn’t expecting it.
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Natural 20. No joke. No joke. Right there.
+
+SAM: Dueling natural 20s? Their arms rip off.
+Blood is everywhere.
+
+LIAM: Fist of the North Star!
+
+MATT: Beautiful. Beautiful. Mwah.
+
+ASHLEY: This was thanks to Gil. Shit! What does
+that mean?
+
+MATT: As soon as you do that, he catches it, you
+both are caught in the center here, tensing up.
+
+The whole crowd goes “Ooh!” Everything gets really
+tense and quiet as you’re both flexing. At this
+
+point now, you do make eye contact. As the anger
+is built up inside you. Make another strength check.
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you still raging?
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah.
+
+MATT: Well, she hasn’t raged yet.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I rage? I don’t know if I can do that.
+
+MATT: Not on this roll you can’t, because you
+already rolled for it. Next time you can.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll do it on the next one. Okay.
+Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven. You feel yourself giving way, your
+arm going further back towards the table. You see
+
+this grin across his face. His breath smells of
+mildewed bread and alcohol. It wafts past your
+
+nose. Roll a strength check.
+
+SAM: Matt, may I cast Message and send a message
+to Gunther?
+
+MATT: Gunther, yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m going to quickly say: Kendall is getting
+to second base with your wife right now! Do not
+
+respond to this message!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You get to roll another strength check with
+advantage.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. How far away is everybody from us?
+
+MATT: They’re down like two and a half, three
+feet, because you guys are on a raised platform.
+
+They’re about five feet from you.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit. Okay. Never mind.
+
+SAM: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: With advantage!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: You get to roll again.
+
+MATT: Because you are raging.
+
+ASHLEY: 21.
+
+MATT: As he’s pushing you down towards the table,
+you muster up another breath of strength from
+
+inside. With that, you push him back to the
+center. You’re both at even keel. Roll again.
+
+ASHLEY: With advantage?
+
+MATT: With advantage.
+
+ASHLEY: This is very stressful. Okay. 21.
+
+MATT: (grunt) He starts giving ground, the sweat
+now beading across his forehead. His nostrils are
+
+flaring. That horrible smell of his breath is
+coming in bigger and more constant waves as he
+
+starts to (grunt). He looks up from his grip, up
+into your eyes once more. Roll again.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Finish him!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Oh shit. (stammering)
+I can’t do math right nowbecause I’m stressed. 14.
+
+MATT: 14. He slowly brings you back up to the
+center. Roll again. The crowd, each time the shift
+
+happens, the crowd is like, “Ooh! Ah! Oh god!”
+
+ASHLEY. Shit! Ten.
+
+MATT: You’re losing ground. You’re losing ground!
+Roll again.
+
+ASHLEY: No! 14.
+
+MATT: 14? (grunt) He rolled a seven plus five.
+Right up at the center. Roll again! The crowd is
+
+going wild right now.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no.
+
+MATT: Leopold’s like leaning in now, watching this
+happen.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: (chanting) Yasha! Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+MATT: (grunt) Pushing him back. Roll again!
+
+MATT: This is going back and forth, back and
+forth. (laughter)
+
+LIAM: Put him in the body bag!
+
+MARISHA: Give him the chair!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM and LAURA: Advantage!
+
+ASHLEY: 22.
+
+MATT: 22. He pushes you right back in the center.
+Rolled an 18. You guys are right there again. At
+
+the fulcrum point. The crowd is starting to go
+completely breathless at this point. It’s back and
+
+forth. Roll again.
+
+LAURA: One of them is going to have exhaustion
+soon, I know it!
+
+MATT: He’s starting to breathe really heavy.
+
+ASHLEY: 21.
+
+MATT: 21. You push him back again. You can see
+now, the muscles are straining and popping, the
+
+veins are bulging. His breaths are getting
+heavier, his shoulder is looking like it’s almost
+
+dislodging as he’s using his torso to push against
+it. Roll once more.
+
+SAM: Jester! Should I shoot him?.
+
+LAURA: (yelling) No! No! No! Rip his arm off,
+Yasha! Don’t shoot him!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. 19.
+
+MATT: (grunt) (bang of arm against table)
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: He immediately stands up and starts shaking
+his arm at that point.
+
+ASHLEY: Immediately when I slam him, I get up and
+walk off.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Leopold goes, “Amazing show. Yasha!” and he
+runs up behind you and catches up to you. As you
+
+step off the stage, he steps off with you. Goes
+“I’m sorry to bother you, Yasha. That was an
+
+"incredible– Have you any interest in all at
+joining the ranks of the Righteous Brand?”
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+MATT: “Oh. Well, think about it.” He goes into the
+small satchel and pulls out at rolled piece of
+
+paper, and says “It’s a fantastic thing you would
+do for the Empire if everyone here– You look like
+
+"a fine soldier and based on your skills up there
+you’d be a great help on the front line.”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh. I don’t. Okay. I will take this with
+me. I don’t like groups of people working together
+
+for a cause. I will take it with me. I walk away.
+
+LAURA: Did she win anything? Did she get a prize?
+
+MATT: Strangely enough, there is no prize for
+this. There is no buy-in. It’s merely for the
+
+bragging rights of the presentation. It’s a
+presentory–
+
+LAURA: (yelling) Lame!
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Hey Yasha, check it out, I got one too.
+It’s a really shitty prize, though.
+
+ASHLEY: What does it– did you look at it yet?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LAURA: I bet yours says, “Please don’t ever
+contact us again.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, what dicks!
+
+MATT: No, it talks about–
+
+ASHLEY: Can you read it for me?
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: It says–
+
+MATT: As you read it–
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: No, I think this is for Marisha.
+
+LIAM: Do that, speak at the same time– hear ye
+hear ye.
+
+MATT: No. It speaks of the Righteous Brand and
+talks about all of the wonderful possibilities for
+
+glory. It’s housing and gear provided, it’s
+working in a good teamwork environment to protect
+
+the people of the Empire. It has opportunities to
+rise through the ranks and to become–
+
+MARISHA: It’s propaganda.
+
+MATT: It talks about– it pays one gold a day at
+start, with possibility of raises from there. The
+
+training is in Bladegarden and after a period of
+training there, it’s three years minimum service
+
+in the military and then you can decide to stay or
+not. It goes into a small print and says like
+
+“desertion is illegal and brings imprisonment and
+fines.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: The ushe.
+
+LAURA: A gold a day, that’s pretty good. Right? Is
+it?
+
+MARISHA: I mean, if you’re only training, they
+send you to the frontline and it’s questionable.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I’ve literally made 200 gold
+since we’ve met, minimum, at this point. It’s been
+
+like a week.
+
+LAURA: I mean, we’ve been making a good amount.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott, do you want mine? Just in case, if
+you want to join?
+
+SAM: I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation
+there’s a voice from the side that goes, “That was
+
+"quite an amazing display, if I say so myself.” As
+you turn and look you see there’s a gentleman
+
+there who’s tall, a little over six foot, very–
+a gentleman, not the Gentleman.
+
+LAURA: No, that’s not what I was going for, I
+wanted to know what he looks like.
+
+MATT: He’s a very strong looking human male with
+ruddy, tan skin and long, jet black hair that’s
+
+braided in a single thick braid that goes past his
+waist in the back. He’s dressed in partial
+
+scalemail across the chest and part of the
+shoulders, a dull iron color to it that’s over his
+
+chest. You see a heavy waistband of dull gray
+leather that’s like a thick, almost a foot thick
+
+piece around there and a rough-looking warhammer
+that’s strapped to his side and he has his arms
+
+crossed and smiling widely at you with a very
+welcoming smile. “That was impressive. That guy
+
+"you just destroyed up there? He’s kind of a
+douche.”
+
+ASHLEY: I could tell.
+
+MATT: “What’s your purpose here? Are you looking
+for work?”
+
+ASHLEY Me or–?
+
+MATT: “Yes, you.”
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, it depends on what kind of work, I
+guess.
+
+MATT: “Well, mercenary work, of course.”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, well yeah.
+
+MATT: “All right, well, first off, my name is
+Darrow.”
+
+ASHLEY: Hello Darrow.
+
+MATT: “What’s your name? Yasha, you said?”
+
+ASHLEY: My name is Yasha.
+
+MATT: “All right, pleasure to meet you. Well, I am
+the de facto leader of a mercenary band known as
+
+"the Stubborn Stock. We’re out of Guar on the
+Menagerie Coast, but we’ve been hired for about a
+
+"seven month stint so far by the Empire and it’s
+been paying pretty well. We’ve had some pretty
+
+"good scenarios here. The retainer’s been nice and
+honestly, it’s not bad to be paid to sit around in
+
+"case they need us.”
+
+ASHLEY: What kind of work? It’s just going out and
+killing things?
+
+MATT: “Well, when they need us. To kill things, to
+hunt things down. There’s a lot of business that
+
+"they can’t bring the military to and the
+Crownsguard stay in the cities so they send us out
+
+"and about. That’s only if they need us.”
+
+ASHLEY: It’s no contract? You can come and go as
+you please if you like?
+
+MATT: “Well, it’s contract. You have to be there
+for their disposal. We’re stationed up in Nogvurot
+
+"and have been for the length of this contract, but
+we were able to come down for this celebration and
+
+"it’s been not too bad. It’s good wage, sit around,
+occasionally hunt down some criminal Xhorhasian
+
+"terror that’s come down from the mountains. It’s a
+pretty decent living if I say so myself and you
+
+"look like a very capable soldier if I say,
+again.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah, you can say so.
+
+MATT: “Sure. Would you be interested?”
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe. I don’t know. Do you have like a
+pamphlet or something?
+
+MATT: (laughter) “We have no pamphlet. My band of
+esteemed warriors are planning to be in the
+
+"Victory Pit later this afternoon.”
+
+LAURA: (gasps) The Victory Pit!
+
+MATT: “We could very much use an additional
+soldier of your capability.”
+
+ASHLEY: We were actually thinking of going that
+way.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m afraid she’s spoken for.
+
+MATT: He turns and looks and seemingly for the
+first time notices the rest of your group. Goes
+
+like “Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I mean no
+disrespect– hi– but I do not understand that. I
+
+"do not wish to step on any toes here, it was
+merely a curiosity. What are you called?”
+
+LAURA: The Mighty Nein.
+
+SAM: To travel incognito, but–
+
+LAURA: Just kidding.
+
+ASHLEY: The Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: “The Mighty Nein. Very good.”
+
+MARISHA: We’re Yasha’s booker. It’s like her
+agency.
+
+ASHLEY: They’re all actually very, very strong and
+very tough. So–
+
+SAM: Yeah! I won this doll before!
+
+MATT: He looks like– “That’s impressive. That’s a
+good find. Good on you. You know who that’s
+
+"supposed to be?”
+
+SAM: The king or something?
+
+MATT: “I was going to say a tiny asshole. One and
+the same, really.”
+
+LAURA: Wait, I heard you say you were from
+Nogvurot, yes?
+
+MATT: “Well, we’re stationed in Nogvurot, but
+we’re from a ways further than that.”
+
+LAURA: Did you notice any of the kids that were
+missing up there?
+
+MATT: (sighs) “That has been an occasional
+problem, yes. We had been sent to investigate two
+
+"of those instances and in all of them it seemed to
+be that they were stolen– I’m sorry, I do not
+
+"know how much I can discuss of these with you–”
+
+LAURA: Oh! We’re really good at keeping secrets!
+
+MATT: Make a general charisma check. Just to see
+if he trusts your face.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh boy. Do I trust your face?
+
+LAURA: Well, let’s general charisma check– oh,
+that would be a natural one there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! All right!
+
+MATT: “We’ve looked into it. Do not worry. But we’ll see
+how long the contract goes. I do not
+
+"know how much luck we’ll have. It’s kind of a dire
+situation.”
+
+LAURA: Is that what you’re being paid for up
+there?
+
+MATT: “One of many things.”
+
+LAURA: Wow.
+
+ASHLEY: You said you’ve been fighting on the
+frontlines of Xhorhas, or–
+
+MATT: “Well, not yet. Not yet. Just the ones that
+come too close in. There’ve been a few excursions
+
+"into the Empire itself and that’s why we’re hired.
+They’re basically bringing everyone they can on
+
+"hand to help keep the home fort defended.”
+
+ASHLEY: What are you fighting, if I may ask?
+
+MATT: “What am I fighting? Right now?”
+
+ASHLEY: Well, in Xhorhas. If you go out there.
+
+MATT: “Oh, we haven’t been to Xhorhas yet.”
+
+ASHLEY: You haven’t been to Xhorhas.
+
+MATT: “They’ve kept us in the Empire so far.”
+
+ASHLEY: They’ve kept you in the Empire.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. They keep the army on the eastern
+side, but we’re meant to find things that the army
+
+"cannot be bothered to do.”
+
+ASHLEY: I understand.
+
+TRAVIS: You’ve fought in this Victory Pit before?
+
+MATT: “No, actually. We’ve only really been in the
+Empire for the first time this past half year and
+
+"I��ve heard things about it and, you know, figured
+we’d come and try it. They gave us a week off to
+
+"come down here to Zadash, and me and my friends are
+going to take our best attempt at this.”
+
+LAURA: How many people are in your group?
+
+MATT: “Oh, well, within our person– including
+myself, a grand total of six mighty warriors.”
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+MARISHA: All six of you fight?
+
+MATT: “All six of us have our different techniques,
+yes.”
+
+LAURA: What kind of techniques, just in case,
+you know, we have to fight you?
+
+MATT: (laughter) “I’m not going to tell you, and it’s
+not that kind of tournament. Anyway, I do not mean
+
+"to be a problem. If ever you change your mind–”
+
+MARISHA: Is it the Gauntlet? Yeah, I know, what is
+it?
+
+LAURA: We have to go sign up for this.
+
+MATT: He pulls out a copper coin that’s a little larger
+than a normal piece of copper and goes, “Just ask around.”
+
+He tosses it to you and you take it. It looks like
+a small copper platter, coin-ish in its design, and
+
+on it is printed the name of his group, the
+Stubborn Stock.
+
+SAM: They’ve got business cards? That is so cool.
+
+LAURA: We need to get coins.
+
+MARISHA: We need coins, yeah.
+
+SAM: We need something.
+
+ASHLEY: How do I– what? Do I show it around
+or–?
+
+MATT: “Well, look for any place in a city where we
+might be or might not be and see if you’ve heard
+
+"of us in the vicinity. If they know where we are,
+they’ll bring you to us. If they don’t, they will not.”
+
+LAURA: Where did you get those coins?
+
+MATT: “One of our fellows makes them.”
+
+LAURA: You have a blacksmith in the thing?!
+
+MATT: “Loosely.” He takes it and shows it off.
+It’s not made that well. He goes, “It’s functional
+
+"more than it’s beautiful.”
+
+ASHLEY: I think it’s great, you know.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “All right, anyway. We have to go prepare
+for this tournament. If you’re standing around,
+
+"please come cheer us on. That would be
+fantastic.”
+
+LAURA: We need to go sign up for the tournament.
+
+SAM: Absolutely, right now.
+
+MATT: “A pleasure to meet you, Mighty Nein!”
+
+LAURA: You too, Darrow!
+
+MATT: He heads off, back towards the Victory Pit.
+
+MARISHA: Which we awkwardly go in the same
+direction. It’s like when you say bye and then
+
+“Oh, are we–? Okay, we wait 30 seconds. One,
+two–”
+
+SAM: While we’re waiting, can I just say, why did
+we not think about branding? We should have coins,
+
+cards, you should be writing a big nine on a wall
+wherever we go! Like everywhere, just tagging it,
+
+just everywhere!
+
+LAURA: Why a nine though?
+
+SAM: Because we’re the Mighty Nein.
+
+LAURA: I thought the nine meant that–
+
+SAM: I know! They don’t know that. When you say it
+out loud, it’s much easier that our symbol is the
+
+number nine, don’t you think?
+
+TALIESIN: I think that if I saw lots of random
+nines around the city I don’t think I’d know what
+
+that was connected to.
+
+SAM: If you did know, then you’d be one of
+the cool kids.
+
+MARISHA: If you saw random mimes?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to start practicing making a cool
+logo for us in my sketchbook.
+
+LIAM: I am on an errand.
+
+MATT: What errand are you on?
+
+LIAM: Oh, well, I’ll wait until they wind down,
+perhaps.
+
+SAM: That could be a while.
+
+LIAM: It could be a while. Well, back at the
+Righteous Brand when I snuck out, would it be
+
+possible for me to find an alleyway or somewhere
+secluded so I can cast Disguise Self on myself?
+
+Around myself, not as myself.
+
+MATT: Yeah, a short jaunt. Not too hard to find a
+darkened corner where you can do it.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. Then I would like to look
+exactly like I do, however, the clothing that I’m
+
+wearing is a shade of blue that is similar, but
+not identical, to the robes that I have seen
+
+people from the library of the Cobalt Soul. A
+similar blue and very large coke bottle glasses.
+
+My eyes go all fish-eyed. Everything else is the
+same.
+
+MATT: Okay. Easy enough to do.
+
+LIAM: I would like to find one of those people who
+was dressed like they came from that library that
+
+I saw that day with Beauregard.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check as you
+begin to pore through the crowd doing this. You
+
+guys have noticed that Caleb’s been gone for a
+little bit.
+
+LIAM: It’s investigation, you said?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: It’s a 24.
+
+MATT: Wow, yeah. Within a very short time,
+asking a few questions and looking through part of
+
+the crowd, one of them points over to the edge of
+the Pentamarket on the northern side, and over in
+
+that direction there are two of the robe-wearing
+individuals. One of the monks that works within
+
+the archive itself and one looks to be wearing
+higher up robes. You’re not sure what that means
+
+or what the ranking is within the Cobalt Soul.
+
+LIAM: I would like to approach them.
+
+MATT: All right, as you approach–
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Excuse me! I’m sorry. May I trouble
+you for a moment? I know this is untoward in the
+
+middle of a festival.
+
+MATT: The one that’s in the nicer dress you can
+see is apparently an elven woman. You see these
+
+kind of long strands of blond, almost silver hair
+that goes in front of the ears and the rest of the
+
+hair falls past the shoulders. Beautiful, natural,
+no makeup. Even for elven standards, you can see a
+
+little bit of age. This is an older elf in
+comparison to a lot of the brighter faces that
+
+turns to you. “Of course, what can we help you
+with?”
+
+LIAM: Oh, yeah. Again, I am very sorry. I am a
+traveling writer. I am writing a history of the
+
+great cities of the Empire and I have heard
+wonderful things about the library that is under
+
+your stead and I don’t know– I have viewed it
+from the outside, it is a beautiful structure, but
+
+I don’t know what it entails to visit it. I was
+wondering, do you allow outsiders? I don’t know if
+
+it costs a fee or if you need some sort of letter
+of recommendation, but I am very eager to learn
+
+about the library itself and the city and
+everything that I can learn about it so I can
+
+write more extensive– it would just mean so much
+to me.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LIAM: It’s all true, though.
+
+MATT: Well.
+
+LIAM: (laughs) It is a 13.
+
+MATT: A 13? Okay. “Well, of course. It is open to
+the public. You’re required to come when there is
+
+"an available monk to escort you through the
+premises. Of course, you cannot take anything from
+
+"the archive itself, but you’re welcome to read
+while in the presence of one of our various monks
+
+"and/or worshippers of the Knowing Mistress.”
+
+LIAM: The entire library?
+
+MATT: “Well, the public portions of it, yes.”
+
+LIAM: Oh, of course.
+
+MATT: “Yes. Just need to come on a day in which
+the archive is open and available, sign in, and
+
+"you will be assigned one of our various attendees
+of the archive and you will have the run of the
+
+"public library of which to read and make notes of.
+You may take your own copy of notes, but once, of
+
+"course, it is only within the public space.”
+
+LIAM: It is far simpler than I had imagined.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. Well, I’m glad you asked.”
+
+LIAM: Thank you so much. Forgive me, this is
+forward. What is your name?
+
+MATT: “I’m Jennah. Archivist Jennah.”
+
+LIAM: It is a pleasure. This is a different
+subject almost entirely, but I was wondering, I
+
+mean to make a stop at all the great libraries of
+this city. I was wondering, is it a similar
+
+situation at the Hall of Erudition?
+
+MATT: “They are a little different. They maintain
+their knowledge for those who are actually there
+
+"as part of the curriculum. You’ll have to speak to
+the headmaster as well. They have, from what we
+
+"know, as we are not allowed either, quite a decent
+cache of arcane knowledge as well. There has been
+
+"some sharing, but they are particular.”
+
+LIAM: What was the headmaster’s name?
+
+MATT: “That would be Ornit, I believe.” Let me
+double check here so I don’t say it wrong. No,
+
+that is, no, “Oremid Hass.”
+
+LIAM: Oremid Hass.
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+LIAM: Oremid Haas is running the Halls of
+Erudition?
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+LIAM: Okay. Apropos of nothing, I have heard about
+this tower attack. That’s terrible.
+
+MATT: “Yes, that was a bit disconcerting,
+definitely. Thankfully, it is a well-defended
+
+"tower. The Zauber Spire has stood for quite some
+time and has its capabilities defending itself as
+
+"we’ve seen.”
+
+LIAM: I’m amazed it did not fall.
+
+MATT: “Well, you should ask them how they did
+that. You’ll know as to why they’re so secretive.”
+
+LIAM: Do they accept– oh, no, they don’t accept
+visitors there.
+
+MATT: “Well, I don’t know. We always go on
+specific business, so you can certainly inquire. I
+
+"haven’t attempted to go from the standpoint of a
+possible student, but you could ask.”
+
+LIAM: Well, I have taken up enough of your time.
+
+MATT: “That is all right.”
+
+LIAM: I’d like to say thank you. Have a wonderful
+festival.
+
+MATT: “Of course. You as well. Happy Harvest
+Close.”
+
+LIAM: I turn a corner and fucking book it.
+
+MATT: As you return to the rest of the group, you
+guys are met by a strangely adorned Caleb with an
+
+interesting ensemble.
+
+LAURA: Got some new specs there.
+
+LIAM: What do you mean?
+
+ASHLEY: What did you just get up to?
+
+MARISHA: New robes, too.
+
+LIAM: I was sightseeing.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Do you need those and we never knew?
+
+LIAM: Where are we right now?
+
+MATT: You guys are on the outside of the Victory
+Pit. The crowds are starting to swarm into a
+
+central archway that’s open.
+
+LIAM: Are they all around us or are we off to the
+side?
+
+MATT: Right now you are in part of the crowd as
+the people are rushing past.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so I lean down to tie my shoe and let
+the cloak fall around me, and I get down between
+
+Yasha and Fjord, and when I come up everything is
+back to normal.
+
+LAURA: Your glasses fell off when you were bent
+over.
+
+LIAM: It gives me a headache, so I took them off.
+
+TRAVIS: Where were you at?
+
+LIAM: Exactly what I was saying. I was
+sightseeing, I was asking about their libraries of
+
+the city.
+
+TRAVIS: Lots of them around here?
+
+LIAM: Not so many.
+
+MARISHA: Cobalt’s a good color on you.
+
+LIAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: You look good in blue.
+
+LIAM: (sniffs)
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, shall we go into the Victory Pit?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, let’s sign up!
+
+MATT: You guys gather your strength, your
+interest, your nerve. You go in with the rest of
+
+the crowd that is now beginning to gather towards
+the front end of the Victory Pit. As you step
+
+towards the central archway into the shaded
+interior of the main entryway, we’re going to take
+
+a break! We’ll be back here in a few minutes to
+pick up to this tournament and all that it entails.
+
+SAM: Aw, man. What a festival!
+
+LAURA: What a festival!
+
+MATT: Tonight as part of our Wyrmwood giveaway, we
+have a bocote tabletop dice tray from our friends
+
+at Wyrmwood. Very fancy leather interior, it’s
+very pretty.
+
+LAURA: Aren’t those the same kind–
+
+MATT: That is, actually yes. You can have Jester’s
+dice box, kind of. Tonight, the keyword is
+
+“celebration.” If you’d like to, come into the
+Twitch chat and enter the word “celebration” to
+
+become part of the drawing, as long as you are in
+the US and Canada outside of Quebec, otherwise you
+
+cannot enter. I am very sorry, laws are weird.
+Enter it only once. Any more than that and you may
+
+be disqualified. We will come back at the end of the
+break with a winner to be announced. Until then,
+
+we’ll see you guys here in a few minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: You guys are so slow on the draw tonight.
+Welcome back, everybody. Before we get kicked back
+
+in, we have our winner of the Wyrmwood giveaway
+tonight which is mumbly_joe1212. Congratulations!
+
+Danoba will get your information if he hasn’t
+already, and we’ll get that shipped out to you.
+
+Congrats. Diving back in, folks. You have muscled
+your way through the crowd, making your way into
+
+the shaded interior of the front portion, the
+receiving chamber of the Victory Pit, this
+
+two-leveled circular forum-like structure in the
+center of the Pentamarket. You push in the crowd,
+
+and people are starting to find each other and
+push away to find seats into some of the openings
+
+that lead off to the sides in the center. There is
+a pedestal with a barker or an organizer up there
+
+in a long dark gray and brown set of robes, a
+human male in his late 50s who’s fighting his own
+
+age and losing. The comb-over thinning hair and a
+broom-like gray mustache that’s poorly colored
+
+with dark wax. He’s shouting out to the crowd, he
+says, “Please enter slowly, the event begins
+
+"shortly in the next few hours. Would you push
+aside– (muttering) Yes, right! This way, please,
+
+"but go evenly!” He’s pushing off two different
+directions. What are you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: Should we go in, then? Yes?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I think we are.
+
+LAURA: Is this where we go if we’re going to
+fight?
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry? The fights will be soon.”
+
+LAURA: How do we be one of the fights?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’d like to enroll in the
+competition.
+
+MATT: “Oh, you wish to enter?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MATT: “Oh, entry may have already been closed.”
+
+LAURA: Oh no, we’re real good! You definitely want
+us to be in this. We put on a real good show!
+
+MATT: “Let me ask.” He turns around and steps off
+of his pedestal and heads to this wooden door.
+
+It’s about ten feet behind and he shoves through,
+closes behind him and slams. A few moments pass
+
+and people begin filtering through still, pushing
+past you and bumping you in the shoulders.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, what do you think that dude meant
+when he said it wasn’t like a normal fight?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know. I wonder how experienced
+these fighters are? Do you think it’s stupid that
+
+we’re signing up for it without knowing much?
+
+SAM: Yes, very.
+
+LIAM: I’m also curious. Is it a bare-knuckles
+thing, or is no-holds-barred do whatever you want?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe it’s an obstacle course, you know,
+Ninja Warrior style.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe it’s like a cook-off.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d be all right with that.
+
+LAURA: A cook-off, that is true. It could be.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we all sit around and talk about
+our feelings.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, you’re really good at making chili.
+
+MATT: The door opens again across the way as you
+guys are having this conversation, and the
+
+gentleman comes out again and goes, “Quickly,
+follow me.”
+
+LAURA: Yes yes yes!
+
+MATT: You guys make your way through the crowd and
+follow him into this back chamber. You enter with
+
+him. There’s a slight hallway that leads into a
+low-lit lounge with comfortable furniture with
+
+cushions, there’s some firelight, a few torches
+set up in the chamber. There is a window across
+
+the way that looks out into the open of the
+Victory Pit’s main battle area. You can see
+
+servants wandering in similar brown silks and
+robes as the barker, but they’re carrying trays of
+
+food. You see guests in expensive clothing that
+dot the distant walls and areas of the chamber
+
+sitting atop these cushioned couches and talking
+in low voices to each other, broken with the
+
+occasional laugh. The older gentleman ushers you
+over and waves in the distance as a figure begins
+
+to approach. This is another human man in probably
+his early 60s or so, who has graying hair that is
+
+slicked back and even further thinned than the
+gentleman who first met you on the way in, who has
+
+a very well groomed goatee that comes to an
+accentuated curve up underneath in the front. He’s
+
+wearing a finely tailored dark blue festival
+suit.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, styling!
+
+MATT: The barker says, “These are the ones who–”
+and the older guy goes, “Ah! It’s far too late in
+
+"the day. We couldn’t muster a– Very well. I am
+Yadaka Brigman, Guildhead of the Filigree House
+
+"and organizer of this harvest tournament. Who are
+you, and have you the coin to enter?”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, of course. We are the illustrious
+Mighty Nein. Servants of Zadash.
+
+MATT: “The Mighty Nein. Where are you from, Mighty
+Nein?”
+
+TRAVIS: All parts.
+
+LAURA: All over. Everywhere and nowhere.
+
+LIAM: DM, could you say that crazy-ass name
+again?
+
+MATT: Yadaka Brigman. “You are from everywhere.”
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: “You will be announced as from everywhere.”
+
+LAURA: That’s good. We are from lots of places,
+after all.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, makes us feel very worldly.
+
+MATT: “That’s all right if that is what you
+require. All right! Well, we’ve warriors from
+
+"around the Marrow Valley come to compete today,
+many of which who’ll have been on the front lines
+
+"of the eastern wastes. Are you still eager to lose
+your coin and risk your life?”
+
+TRAVIS: I forget. Refresh my memory about what the
+fee is for entering this contest.
+
+MATT: “20 gold pieces per fighter. Groups of
+five to eight are allowed to enter. There are
+
+"three rounds to this tournament.”
+
+LAURA: We’ll have to leave one of our members–
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Poor Stan.
+
+MATT: “Each victory is 200 gold to be dispersed
+amongst your group and the winners that remain at
+
+"the end split a 2,000 gold purse.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I believe that entry fee is along
+the lines of what I remember.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that seems standard.
+
+TRAVIS: 20 gold will be fine.
+
+LAURA: Are there rules or are we just allowed to
+use whatever we come into the tournament with?
+
+MATT: “Whatever you bring in there is at your
+disposal to utilize. With your group that would
+
+"make four who have signed up for the tournament
+today. You will brought down to the
+
+"waiting/holding area and each group will be
+brought into the Victory Pit to face off with the
+
+"chosen peril.”
+
+MARISHA: Wait, how did you get four?
+
+SAM: Four groups.
+
+MATT: “Four groups. You are the fourth to have
+signed up.”
+
+LAURA: Only three schmeasly other groups?
+
+ASHLEY: What are we fighting? Are we fighting the
+other groups, or are we fighting something–
+
+MATT: “Of course not! You’re fighting a number of
+creatures that have been acquired and kept for
+
+"this tournament. Beasts and things that have been
+either found wandering over the ranges of Xhorhas
+
+"or have terrorized the local countryside and have
+been brought to us by the Righteous Brand for this
+
+"sort of tournament.”
+
+SAM: Are there frightening beasts? Big beasts?
+Magical beasts?
+
+TRAVIS: We know there are. I mean, that’s what
+we’re looking for, right?
+
+MATT: “There may very well be, young lass.”
+
+SAM: Then why are we doing this?
+
+MATT: “Good question.”
+
+TRAVIS: Our friends, the Stubborn Stock, said that
+this was the thing to do for people of our mettle.
+
+SAM: We’re going to fight dangerous monsters.
+
+TRAVIS: Could you tell us who the other two groups
+are, besides ourselves and the Stubborn Stock?
+
+MATT: “Well, do you wish to join?”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course, yeah.
+
+MATT: “Then present your coin. What is your
+name?”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord. Here, 20 gold.
+
+MARISHA: Beauregard.
+
+LIAM: Caleb. Beauregard, can you front me 16
+gold?
+
+MARISHA: (sighs)
+
+LIAM: There’s four more for you.
+
+MARISHA: His name is Caleb and Beauregard, I want
+that clear and on the record. It’s Caleb and
+
+Beauregard.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, and Beauregard is the family name.
+
+SAM: Kylre.
+
+LAURA: Fancypants. 20 gold. There you are.
+
+MATT: “Very well.”
+
+TALIESIN: Mollymauk.
+
+ASHLEY: Yasha.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. We’ve managed to squeeze you in
+at the last moment. The rules are as such. Each
+
+"team will face off with one of these encounters
+we’ve developed for this tournament, continuing on
+
+"if victorious to face another, until the other
+teams fall, you fall, or the third round is
+
+"completed. Should there be more than one victory
+team at the end you will divide the purse amongst
+
+"you. However, these will increase in difficulty
+the further you remain. You will not be allowed
+
+"but the time it takes for the other teams to
+battle before you face once more. Previous years
+
+"have shown us no more than maybe 20 minutes.
+Whatever you have in each round is what you go in
+
+"with. Use your time wisely. All of this will be
+displayed in front of the Starosta, the appointees
+
+"of the Crown, and the elite of the Tri-Spires.
+Money and glory is here before you.”
+
+LAURA: What happens if somebody in one of the
+other groups dies or something when fighting the
+
+creatures?
+
+MATT: “We have clerics on hand, and outside of
+extenuating circumstances, we’ve only had one true
+
+"fatality in the past 20 years of running this
+festival, so you should be all right.”
+
+LAURA: Good to know.
+
+TRAVIS: For the other groups.
+
+LAURA: For the other groups, yes.
+
+MATT: At this point, there’s a bit of commotion at
+the front entrance where you guys entered where
+
+you see a figure rush in, a young human man. He’s
+sweating, longer blond hair past his ears. He’s
+
+wearing a very bright gold and red outfit and is
+carrying a satchel over one shoulder as he rushes
+
+in and talks to somebody. He points over in the
+direction and heads up to where your group is.
+
+Yadaka goes, “I’m terribly sorry. Page!” The page
+looks up. “What business have you from the Crown?”
+
+Looking over his attire, the page goes,
+(breathing heavily) “I must speak with the
+
+"Starosta immediately under order from King
+Bertrand Dwendal himself.” Yadaka goes, “Right.
+
+"Come with me. I apologize. You’ll have to give us
+just a moment.” He turns around. “Urgent matters.
+
+"Enjoy some feasting while you’re here.” Him and
+the page walk maybe 20 feet from you to a corner
+
+where you can see there is a central couch there
+where a few figures are sitting, and they rush up.
+
+LIAM: Kitty.
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All right, so you roll a stealth check for
+your cat.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Cat butt right in their face.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, just sprays them!
+
+MATT: As your cat begins to approach, one of the
+servants goes, “You can’t be in here,” and–
+
+(laughter) Not everyone’s going to kick a cat into
+dust! Picks up Frumpkin and begins to bring
+
+Frumpkin away while the page begins gathering a
+breath and you now see a very well-dressed
+
+halfling with a curled mass of brown hair up top.
+It’s graying and white on the sides, who sits up
+
+to meet with another important figure. Frumpkin
+has been pulled away.
+
+LIAM: Where did my cat go?
+
+MATT: Your cat is being held by a servant.
+
+LIAM: The last I see of Frumpkin is where?
+
+MATT: Being led back towards where you came, like
+taking the cat outside.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I count to six and then I snap my
+fingers and pull him off of this plane.
+
+MATT: Okay. Servant’s probably confused. What’re
+you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: I guess I’m going to do some jumping jacks
+to prepare for this.
+
+LIAM: I have a leather thong or a string wrapped a
+couple of times– I’m going to ignore Laura
+
+Bailey– wrapped around my thigh and I will grip
+it in my hand and say a few arcane words and cast
+
+Mage Armor and out from the leather strap around
+my leg, a light shimmer goes up over the entire
+
+body for a split second and is gone.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: I would much prefer if it was actually a
+leather thong that you had to put on in order to
+
+get the Mage Armor.
+
+LIAM: You have not seen me with my clothes off
+yet.
+
+MATT: There are the groups that are talking and
+eating, there’s the page currently engaging with
+
+the folks and the figure, there’s a couple of
+servants passing around trays of food. What are
+
+the rest of you doing? You have retrieved your
+Frumpkin into your space.
+
+LAURA: How do we prepare for this, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I have no idea what we’re going to
+face.
+
+SAM: Fighting monsters!
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t know that.
+
+SAM: That’s what the guy said! We’re fighting
+monsters.
+
+MATT: There’s another clap and you see two other
+figures get pulled from the other side to join the
+
+conversation by the couch.
+
+SAM: Should we go find out what’s going on over
+there?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think we can.
+
+SAM: I could sneaky-sneak over there and listen.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Can you give her some blessing-type of
+situation?
+
+LAURA: Oh yes (jibberish).
+
+SAM: I will cast Silent Image and I’m going to go
+up to the corner, make the image of a three-foot
+
+by three-foot box around me.
+
+MARISHA: You’re going full Solid Snake here?
+
+SAM: I’m going to just (quick footsteps).
+
+LAURA: That’s not noticeable at all.
+
+MATT: Okay, make your stealth check with
+advantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Amazing.
+
+SAM: Stealth?
+
+MATT: You get advantage because of her blessing.
+
+SAM: Oh, wow. 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. You saunter up at a relatively close
+distance. Make a perception check if you’re trying
+
+to listen in.
+
+SAM: Can I see through the box? Oh, it’s a
+listening perception.
+
+MATT: Well, the box is an illusion.
+
+SAM: Four.
+
+MATT: (laughter) Four.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck.
+
+MATT: You catch bits and pieces. Okay, what you
+hear is the page hurriedly saying, “–which skies
+
+"now darken Brokenveil, over 1000 dead, the
+Ashguard Garrison is taken.” You hear this
+
+conversation a bit hush to hush, and a little bit
+of (shushing). Starosta peeks in a bit. You only
+
+catch the next bit which goes, “What’s the king’s
+response?” Then you hear the page respond and say,
+
+“–formally declared war on Kryn Dynasty and the
+wastes of Xhorhas.” There’s some more muttering.
+
+You miss that. You miss that.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: (laughter) You miss that.
+
+LIAM: Secret warp zone to level eight, miss that.
+
+MATT: Yadaka pipes in and goes, “Starosta, to
+announce anything like that would set panic and
+
+"change nothing. We are far from the fight. For
+now, let them have a day to rejoice. We’ll
+
+"announce tomorrow.” You miss the next thing, you
+miss the next thing. The last thing you hear is
+
+the Starosta say, “I’ll send word to General
+Grinbreaker and begin preparing her legion to move
+
+"east. Tomorrow we’ll notify the public, but page,
+return word to Rexxentrum that Zadash prepares to
+
+"join the front. Now, go.” The page turns and
+leaves.
+
+SAM: (quick footsteps) Still in box form, I am
+going to go back up to them.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Hey guys, it’s me. I’m in a box!
+
+LAURA: Well, take it off.
+
+SAM: No, it’s not a real box. I’ll stick my hand
+through it. I heard everything!
+
+TRAVIS: What’s going down?
+
+SAM: There’s an attack on Ashguard something.
+
+LAURA: Oh! That’s the garrison over by the–
+
+SAM: Okay, thank you! The King said we’re going to
+declare war on Xhorhas or something like that, I
+
+don’t remember. Then there’s 1000 dead! The skies
+were black–
+
+LAURA: On our side or their side?
+
+SAM: I don’t know! Maybe ours? At the Garrison
+there was 1000 dead, so that’s our side? Wait, no,
+
+we’re not on sides! We don’t like the Empire!
+
+LAURA: I mean, who cares, right?
+
+SAM: Anyway, but they wanted to declare war and
+they’re not going to until tomorrow.
+
+LAURA: Good thing we didn’t join the army, huh?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+TALIESIN: What makes you think they’re not going
+to start conscripting people tomorrow?
+
+LAURA: Oh no! Maybe if you competed and they saw
+you were awesome, they’re going to tell you you
+
+have to join.
+
+SAM: We should throw the fight.
+
+TALIESIN: Maybe we should win the fight, then
+maybe think about getting out of town?
+
+TRAVIS: I agree with Molly.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, is there anything about this
+letter?
+
+LIAM: Do I notice anything?
+
+MATT: Which letter?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, I’m paranoid right now.
+It’s just the scroll from the–
+
+MATT: It’s a pamphlet.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, ignore what I just said.
+
+TALIESIN: Made it at Kinko’s.
+
+TRAVIS: Are there crownsguard in the little
+waiting area that we’re in?
+
+MATT: There are at the entrance where you came in
+and each side.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I make my way to one that’s over by
+the entrance?
+
+MATT: Okay. You back up towards where you guys
+came in, and there’s a crownsguard there, arms
+
+crossed, looking up.
+
+TRAVIS: Man, I cannot wait to see this year’s
+Victory Pit competition! I hear the beasts are
+
+heartier than they were last year.
+
+MATT: “I certainly hope so. It’s going to be a lot
+of fun to watch.”
+
+TRAVIS: Which one is your favorite so far?
+
+MATT: “Oh, which one?”
+
+TRAVIS: The beast they selected this year.
+
+MATT: “Well, I haven’t seen them. They keep those
+under wraps. It’s part of the surprise.”
+
+TRAVIS: Really?
+
+MATT: “Yeah!”
+
+TRAVIS: Man, I heard you guys were more informed
+than that.
+
+MATT: (laughter) “Not us, that’s above our pay
+grade.”
+
+TRAVIS: Really? Sheesh. What do you got to do to
+get duty like that?
+
+MATT: “Well, you probably have to go to the King’s
+Hall and sign up for the Crownsguard. Kiss ass for
+
+"a few years and maybe then.”
+
+TRAVIS: Where do the handlers of those beasts stay
+around here?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. That’s, once again, outside
+of my jurisdiction. They keep a lot of things
+
+"separate intentionally.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. You feel like dropping a coin
+on a team, remember The Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: “Right. Appreciate that, friend.”
+
+TRAVIS: I walk away.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That was good. That was very good.
+
+LIAM: It occurs to me that starting tomorrow, it
+would be more important than ever that we stick
+
+together.
+
+LAURA: All of us, or just you and Nott?
+
+LIAM: All of us.
+
+MARISHA: Jester, high-five.
+
+MATT: At this point, the barker who met you
+originally says, “Sorry to bother you, but they’re
+
+"gathering the various teams down into the holding
+area. I’ll have to escort you. Please come with me.”
+
+MARISHA: As we walk off, I hold Caleb and walk
+behind a little bit. What did you hear at the
+
+Cobalt Soul?
+
+LIAM: What?
+
+MARISHA: You were trying to get into the Cobalt
+Soul, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I talked to some people from there,
+yeah.
+
+MARISHA: You replicated robes from the Cobalt
+Soul, right? That’s what you were going for.
+
+LIAM: Actually, it was not the exact same color.
+It was a similar color, but not the same color.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that was a nice little error on
+your part. You got real close. I can tell that you
+
+were trying to get the dyes. You know, the
+gradients.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard, is there something that you are
+after here?
+
+MARISHA: Did you hear anything?
+
+LIAM: Nothing pertaining to what we have just
+learned. If that is what you are looking for, no.
+
+I want to enter that library, although tomorrow,
+anything goes. I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll get you into the library if you
+want.
+
+LIAM: How will you get me into the library?
+
+MARISHA: I pull back my belt a little bit and show
+him the rest of the script written out on the back
+
+of my belt from the Cobalt Reserve.
+
+LIAM: Would I instantly recognize that as the same
+as the people I spoke to?
+
+MATT: As far as the–
+
+MARISHA: On my trainer’s belt on the back.
+
+SAM: Do you have a tramp stamp back there?
+
+MARISHA: No, it’s on my belt. Fancy embroidery on
+the inside of my belt.
+
+MATT: Right. You look at it and there is similar
+design to some of the outfits and the–
+
+LIAM: I mean, there’s probably enough to go on
+here. She’s also dressed in blue. She’s basically going–
+
+MATT: Yeah. You pick up on it.
+
+LIAM: Well, if we’re not all dead in 48 hours,
+maybe we can talk about that again.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Don’t look at me like that! You can
+look at me, just don’t look at me like that!
+
+You’re not going to look at me now, are you? Okay.
+It’s fine. You know what, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.
+
+MATT: You guys are continuing to be escorted down
+past. Most everyone has filtered into their seats.
+
+There’s still stragglers finding their way in, and
+as the day’s sun is getting further into the
+
+mid-afternoon, you guys are brought down to an
+area that is similar to that lounge area, but far
+
+less in its decor and comfort. This chamber has
+two windowed doors on the opposite side that are
+
+cut through windows that lead into the central
+arena. You can smell the dust on the opposite
+
+side. The interior is outfitted with about three
+dozen simple stools that are scattered about, a
+
+few tables with cornucopias of fruits and meats
+that are set, and a few folks you see are feasting
+
+on them. There are two stationed healers of the
+Platinum House of Bahamut, the Platinum Dragon.
+
+They are the ones stationed there to prevent folks
+from dying and the other combatants. In one
+
+corner, there are five soldiers of the Righteous
+Brand, one of which is Gunther, who are in the
+
+process of taking large handfuls of food and
+eating and getting themselves some energy for
+
+battle. As soon as you enter, they glance over and
+give a bit of a nod of notification. Gunther,
+
+looking straight to you, grabs an apple of some
+kind, and throws it at you. “Eat. You’ll need it.”
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) He’s got a crush on you, I can
+tell.
+
+MARISHA: (whispers) Don’t let him tell you what to
+do!
+
+SAM: I’m in a box!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: We have a little box traveling with us.
+
+LIAM: I drop a little bit of spell components
+through the box.
+
+MATT: It looks like amongst them there is one
+acting as leader, or at least is in the process of
+
+discussing tactics among the small troupe, though
+you can’t hear exactly what he is saying. An elven
+
+man with short brown hair, and these sky blue
+piercing eyes who is in the process of giving
+
+orders to them. Then he walks off to the side,
+pulls a blade out and begins practicing. It’s this
+
+very elegant, almost dance-like blade technique.
+On the opposite side of the room to them, all
+
+leaning against the wall, you see five dwarves and
+two gnomes that are all wearing black and gold
+
+variations to armor, robes. They are avoiding all
+social engagements and staring, mad dogging
+
+everyone else in the chamber. As soon as you
+enter, all their eyes shift in your direction, and
+
+they watch you as you step into the chamber. In
+the center of them, you see a gray haired dwarven
+
+women, weathered skin and a surly grin as you
+approach, gleaming these yellow teeth from
+
+beneath, who gives a bit of a squinted stare at
+you as you pass by. You see two battleaxes resting
+
+at the side of her belt, hanging off of her
+armor.
+
+MARISHA: Is she her own team?
+
+MATT: Then over by the doors, snacking and looking
+out the window into the pit before you, you see a
+
+group of six individuals in scuffed armor of green
+and brown with weathered armor and skin that shows
+
+experience and travel. Markings and accessories
+gives you a sense of inland Menagerie Coast
+
+heritage, and there you see Darrow who you had met
+earlier in the tournament, who’s leaning out the
+
+window. He turns around as you enter and goes,
+“Ah, so you did indeed decide to join. Not too bad,
+
+"I’m excited to see how well you do.”
+
+ASHLEY: Have you been in this tournament before?
+
+MATT: “I have not, but I’ve been hearing about it.
+I’m excited to give it my all, as you say.”
+
+TRAVIS: What are you going to do about the flying
+creatures?
+
+MATT: “That’s a good question. I imagine that’s
+less of my worry, and more of theirs.” He points
+
+out to the rest of the people in the stands, and
+goes, “I certainly hope they have ways to deal
+
+"with that, otherwise that’s going to be a very
+unhappy day tomorrow for the people in the city.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed.
+
+LAURA: There will be a very unhappy day tomorrow.
+
+TALIESIN: Ixnay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “That is not cryptic at all. Well, the
+Stubborn Stock are my esteemed mercenary band.
+
+"Friends, this is the–”
+
+TRAVIA: The Mighty Nein.
+
+MATT: “The Mighty Nein, we met earlier at the
+places with the games.” All of them give a nod and
+
+then grunt and reach over and start shaking hands.
+They seem, of all the people in here, the most
+
+friendly. As soon as this happens, the crowd
+outside starts cheering loudly. The sounds of chaos
+
+begin to build.
+
+MARISHA: Mortal Kombat!
+
+MATT: The cheers swell, and swell. You hear feet
+slamming throughout the entire event, causing dust
+
+to come down off the ceiling above you. You begin
+to realize that you are below some of the stands.
+
+A figure across the way emerges from another
+doorway from the right and the crowd goes crazy.
+
+This humanoid figure steps to the center. Now
+looking through the windows, you can see this is
+
+an open circular sand pit, where there are some
+wall-like structures in places and pillars beyond
+
+those to break up the interior. It has some small
+areas for cover and these pillars in the far
+
+corners of each side. This figure who walks in is
+a tall half-giant figure covered in tattoos and
+
+spiked armor. As he approaches, his hands in the
+air as the crowd’s yelling and screaming.
+
+LAURA: I hope we don’t have to fight him.
+
+MARISHA: I want to be him.
+
+MATT: Steps out. “Welcome, all fair peoples of the
+great empire under our King Bertrand Dwendal, may
+
+"his grace bless this harvest’s end and grant us a
+warm winter.” The crowd goes crazy. “I am your
+
+"humble Jermai Kull, previous champion. While I
+have left the fight, I now live for the fights of
+
+"others. It is my pleasure to bring you this year’s
+great tournament.” The crowd swells again. Some of
+
+the groups behind start mounting up behind you and
+everyone’s crowding around the windows. “We
+
+"welcome our guests of high esteem on this day.
+Give your applause to our keeper of freedom and
+
+"order, Lawmaster Orentha Stonegrasp.” He points
+across the way up in the stands. The cheers go
+
+bright and you see a figure stand up, and you can
+see the gray haired dwarf who you had met in the
+
+King’s Hall earlier. She’s the Lawmaster of Zadash
+who had come out to thank you for the job you had
+
+done in slaying the phase spider in the sewers.
+She raises a hand and then sits down. Make a
+
+perception check as she waves her hand and gray
+hair–
+
+TRAVIS: Natural one.
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+TALIESIN: 17.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+LAURA: Nine.
+
+MARISHA: 20.
+
+ASHLEY: Six.
+
+MATT: You glancing there, your eagle sight of an
+inquisitive monk of the Cobalt Soul, glance past
+
+and you can see where she’s sitting, and there,
+about two people over sitting in the stand next to
+
+her is a familiar face. Pretty sure that’s Dolan.
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Our Dolan.
+
+LAURA: Oh. He was supposed to go. Right?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Okay.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is popping his hood up over his head
+and face.
+
+MATT: “We also bring to this tournament the
+Headmaster of the Zauber Spire, who repelled the
+
+"Crick assault on our great place of arcane
+learning. Shaping the minds of our future mages,
+
+"Oremid Hass!” As the crowd cheers again, you see,
+back a row and to the left, a figure stand and
+
+raise a hand. Once again, everybody roll a
+perception check, please.
+
+SAM: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Ugh, that was so bad. Not good. Five.
+
+LIAM: Ten.
+
+LAURA: 16.
+
+TALIESIN: Six.
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+ASHLEY: Six.
+
+TRAVIS: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine. 16 was the highest?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Who was that?
+
+LAURA: Me.
+
+MATT: That was Jester. Jester, you glance up and
+see, best you can a figure, a stocky, dark brown
+
+skinned man with very short curled black hair
+across the top of the head, very square jaw, in
+
+long red and gray robes. He raises a hand and
+smiles and everyone cheers. Sitting next to him
+
+you see a figure that you had seen before. You can
+make out an older human man with longer gray hair,
+
+bald on top. This was the mage you saw floating in
+the sky during the attack.
+
+LAURA: Is he in white? Is that the color of robes
+he–
+
+MATT: Yes, white and gold.
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+MATT: “None of this would be possible if not for
+the love of you, and celebration from our esteemed
+
+"Starosta Wyatt Fedar!” There at the very front of
+that same area, you see the same halfling who was
+
+talking earlier to the page, step up on a small
+platform to give him a little more height and
+
+prestige amongst this point. The male halfling
+with the curly hair and the graying sides raises
+
+his hands and give a soft bow, and the crowd
+explodes and cheers.
+
+MARISHA: You said this is the Starosta, right?
+
+MATT: This is him. “Now, we begin to bring in our
+fighters for this, and our first competing team of
+
+"this Victory Pit tournament: The Last Line, all
+the way from Bladegarden!” The doors open, and all
+
+the gentlemen and ladies in the Righteous Brand
+armor push past you, with Gunther and the elven
+
+gentleman, step out into the light. Now you can
+see the cloudy sky has broken up a bit, and there
+
+is a bit of sunlight coming down into this pit.
+They step out into the center as the emcee begins
+
+to step away. He goes, “May the first fight be a
+memorable one.” He steps back and enters a distant
+
+door that closes behind him. They all spread out
+and prepare. Across the way, a door opens and you
+
+see something shift out in chains that are then
+pulled off the body and the doors close behind.
+
+There you see a 12-foot tall frog-humanoid-like
+creature with a giant belly that begins to lumber
+
+forward towards them. They all immediately assault
+this entity, jumping in the air, vaulting off
+
+sides of the walls, assaulting it. One gets
+smacked in the face, it grabs another and throws
+
+it onto the ground. Another one rushes up as it
+grabs and slams it onto the floor and puts its weight
+
+on top of it, one foot pushing it down. Gunther
+rushes up with a blade and carves into a large
+
+section of its face. The crowd goes crazy as it
+pulls back and shoves Gunther off with a back
+
+fist. The elven leader rushes forward and does a
+few quick swipes with his blade. The large toad
+
+creature grabs it and attempts to swallow him, and
+manages to do so, completely ingests the leader.
+
+The rest begin to assault. Make an arcana check.
+
+LIAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18. You don’t recognize the creature, but
+there’s something about this entity.
+
+SAM: There’s just something about him.
+
+TRAVIS: No, nine.
+
+MATT: No. All right, this fight goes on for
+another minute or so. You watch them trade blows
+
+back and forth. Nobody falls, and eventually the
+general carves his way from the stomach of the
+
+beast with a giant swipe of his blade. You watch
+as the blood begins to pour from it as he leaps
+
+out, coated in saliva and the creature’s own
+crimson, spins around, and as the large toad beast
+
+pulls back, they all together, with one unified
+strike, surround and attack it. The beast lumbers
+
+forward and falls to the ground, unconscious. With
+a rousing cheer from the audience, the previous
+
+doors open. As the soldiers raise their weapons
+high and give a respectful bow, they begin to walk
+
+back towards the holding area, as they drag the
+unconscious body of this creature back to where it came.
+
+LAURA: Do we all fight the same type of creature?
+
+TALIESIN: Probably not.
+
+MATT: The emcee shouts again from the side, “With
+that, the banderhobb has fallen!”
+
+SAM: Bander rob?
+
+MATT: “Next, a last minute addition to today’s
+tournament. We bring forth, traveled from
+
+"everywhere–”
+
+LAURA: That’s us!
+
+MATT: “The Mighty Nein!”
+
+SAM: Oh, shit, it’s us!
+
+MATT: The doors open again, and you guys are given
+a straight path into the center of this field.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, bring it out!
+
+LAURA: Oh my god!
+
+SAM: This was such a good day.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: It’s okay. I bumped it on the way over.
+
+SAM: Whoa. Did you print that? On a laser
+printer?
+
+MATT: No, this was from Mats by Mars, they do
+awesome stuff.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, that’s so cool.
+
+MATT: You guys can place yourselves where you’d
+like.
+
+SAM: Where’s the doors to the– oh, they’re over
+there. Got it.
+
+MATT: Any particular placement you’d like, as you
+guys have a moment to set yourselves up here.
+
+LIAM: Would I have been able to cast a spell as we
+are pushed forward into all this mess?
+
+MATT: You would.
+
+LIAM: Blur.
+
+MATT: Blur, all right. You have a Blur spell on
+right now.
+
+TRAVIS: Put me behind that wall, yep.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s the opening?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, where did the monster come out of?
+
+MATT: You guys entered from this side over here,
+and you saw the monster enter from this space.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+LIAM: Matt, I take that back. I’m not going to
+cast Blur. Sorry, my apologies.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: Can you help me?
+
+MATT: What do you want to do?
+
+LAURA: I want to be there.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I do that on the other one, opposite
+her?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll back up into mine.
+
+LIAM: As close to the center as is possible.
+
+SAM: I will be behind the pillar over there.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: No, this one over– yes, thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: That, I think, is the door where it
+opens.
+
+MARISHA: It could be anywhere, to be fair.
+
+LAURA: Oh, right. There’s multiple doors.
+
+MATT: The emcee disappears and vanishes into the
+back. You guys all take a quiet moment, looking
+
+around you in silence. As the audience gets quiet,
+still, you can see hundreds and hundreds of faces
+
+all staring, strangely formless when it’s a cloud
+like this in all directions, little beams of light
+
+peeking through the clouds, hitting the sand and
+dirt on the ground before you. In that quiet, you
+
+hear (slamming). You glance around briefly and see
+not one, but two doors seem to have opened.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, good.
+
+MATT: Only one of them has a creature that
+emerges. It seems like they’re playing mind games
+
+with you so you don’t know where it’s coming–
+
+TRAVIS: Or the other one’s invisible.
+
+MATT: The door to this side suddenly swings open,
+and a beast begins to lumber out, chains detaching
+
+from manacles on two of its tethered, large
+tentacle-like arms. This grayish-brown mass,
+
+probably close to 15 feet in height, with a giant
+mouth filled with teeth and a large tongue that
+
+lolls off the side. Three tendrils reach off of it
+as these large, heavy feet pull it forward. Smell
+
+wafts around it of feces and rot. I need all of
+you to roll initiative, as this creature emerges
+
+right there.
+
+LAURA: It’s a big eating-poop pile!
+
+LIAM: Liam knows what that is. Grody to the max!
+
+LAURA: Yeah, gag me with a spoon, Mrs. Henderson!
+
+ASHLEY: Gag me with a spoon!
+
+MATT: 25 to 20.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on! Oh, that moved it! It was a 19
+plus one. 24!
+
+SAM: Whoa!
+
+MATT: 24, all right.
+
+TALIESIN: 23.
+
+MATT: Beau, Molly! Anybody else? Okay, 20 to 15.
+
+LIAM: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 for Caleb.
+
+SAM: Oh, 16 here.
+
+MATT: All right, Nott. 15 to ten? Ten to five?
+
+LAURA, TRAVIS, and ASHLEY: Six!
+
+MATT: Oh, dear.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no! It’s a sign.
+
+SAM: (demonic voice) Present!
+
+MATT: All righty, I believe that’s everyone?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MATT: Top of the round, as this being (stomping)
+(sucking), its tongue slabbering around its open
+
+maw, Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: (inhales) Okay! I can clear the distance,
+right? 40 feet?
+
+MATT: Five, ten, 15, 20, 25. Yeah, easily.
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, go closer to the creature. That’s a
+good idea.
+
+LAURA: That’s what she does!
+
+MARISHA: I fight with my fists, Sam!
+
+SAM: I don’t like it! It’s scary!
+
+ASHLEY: Fists of fury!
+
+LAURA: Fists of fury, Mrs. Henderson!
+
+ASHLEY: Fists of furry, Mrs. Henderson!
+
+MARISHA: Before I run off, I go: Does anyone know
+if this is a time trial, or something? Then I run
+
+off towards it.
+
+MATT: Okay, are you driving straight towards it?
+Or are you coming from a specific angle?
+
+MARISHA: No, I mean, straight towards it.
+
+MATT: All right, there you go.
+
+MARISHA: Then, instead of my staff, I’m drawing my
+two wooden swords that I won with Nott.
+
+SAM: Oh, no.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to beat face with my wooden
+swords, with my two attacks.
+
+MATT: Okay, so are you–
+
+MARISHA: This is going to be great!
+
+MATT: Here’s my question: is this just flavor to
+your unarmed strikes, or are you actually trying
+
+to damage it with the wooden swords?
+
+MARISHA: I was thinking more like flavor to my
+unarmed strikes, but I’m a monk, so?
+
+MATT: All right, so it looks like you’re fighting
+with the swords, but you’re really punching with them.
+
+MARISHA: I’m punching.
+
+MATT: It’s more for the show of it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It’s funsies.
+
+LIAM: What if they are like police batons?
+
+MATT: They’re not that strong.
+
+LAURA: They’re like balsa wood.
+
+MATT: Go ahead. Two attacks.
+
+MARISHA: First one’s a 14, second one’s a seven
+plus six, so sorry, 20 for the first one and 13
+
+for the second.
+
+MATT: First one hits, second one misses.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, ooh! That is 12 damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage as you hit it and you
+feel the actual wood of the sword crack a little
+
+bit, but your fist does hit the beast in the side,
+its giant blubbery, nasty body, almost slippery
+
+and sticky on impact, shifts from the blow. Is
+that your turn?
+
+MARISHA: Then I’m going to spend a ki point and do
+one more.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Flurry of blows. That’s not good at all.
+Ten.
+
+MATT: Total ten? That misses. The third blow goes
+wide, no impact. That ends your turn. Molly,
+
+you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use Vicious Mockery and
+just, you know: (demonic voice) You’ve got no
+
+arms, it’s awful! It’s a psychic attack.
+
+LAURA: I start laughing.
+
+MATT: That’s a–
+
+TALIESIN: It says wisdom, but is it charisma?
+
+MATT: It’s a wisdom save, but it’s charisma-based.
+The DC’s ten.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, yeah.
+
+MATT: That’s a natural 20 on its saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: That saves.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay. I’m going to also use my
+bonus action to light my other sword.
+
+MATT: All right, so you have both blades now
+going?
+
+TALIESIN: I have both blades going now, so I’m
+knocking that down.
+
+MATT: Which rite?
+
+TALIESIN: With not the ice, the–
+
+MATT: The Rite of the Dawn? Okay, got it. Both of
+your blades are now glowing.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run, let’s see, I’ve got 30
+feet? I’m going to cross and run for cover behind that.
+
+MATT: There?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Molly. It is now the
+creature’s turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh, let’s see what it weirdly does. It’s
+going to poop on you!
+
+SAM: Or breathe some awful breath of death.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to swallow people.
+
+MATT: It’s going to step up right there. As it
+passes by, it’s going to go ahead and swing one of
+
+its large tentacle arms, which you see have these
+long, curved tooth-like protrusions at the end,
+
+almost like a slapping squid tentacle. It swings
+toward you, Beau, with the first one. Natural one.
+
+Nope, that misses. You manage to duck it. However,
+it swings– okay, that is a 17 to hit, what’s your
+
+armor class?
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+MATT: Just hits. As the tentacle misses to strike
+you, it does manage to grab you from behind and
+
+pull you in toward its mouth. As it opens and
+chomps down on you–
+
+MARISHA: Aw, gross!
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re pulled into its poopy mouth.
+
+LAURA: Ew! It’s like Charlie!
+
+MATT: That is 15 points of piercing damage, and I
+need you to roll a constitution saving throw, as
+
+the horribly–
+
+LAURA: How much damage did he do?
+
+MATT: 15 points of piercing damage.
+
+LAURA: 15 fucking points!
+
+MATT: Make a constitution saving throw, please.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t. Fuck. Me Gil! Ooh, that was almost
+a natural 20! This always happens with Gil. Six?
+
+MATT: Six, no. As the teeth sink into your body
+and you pull away, you feel this mild infection
+
+already begin to set inside you, and you are
+poisoned.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, you’re poisoned!
+
+MARISHA: He gives you heartburn, you guys. It’s
+real bad.
+
+MATT: The other tentacle is going to swing over
+towards you, Jester, as it sees you around the
+
+corner. That, however, is a really poor roll.
+That’s going to be an eight, that misses you. You
+
+duck and it hits the stone, causing this dust to
+spray off of it from the impact. That’s going to
+
+end its turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I pull out a handful of iron powder, and I
+throw it into the air so it’s a big cloud, and my
+
+two hands go (sweeping noise), and Yasha grows to
+twice her normal size.
+
+ALL: What?!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: For the purposes of that, we’ll put Yasha on
+this big old dice there.
+
+ASHLEY: Does that mean I do twice the damage?
+
+MATT: Not twice.
+
+SAM: Yes, it does.
+
+LIAM: Then I will use my movement to get over to
+the corner near Fjord. If I could get around it, I
+
+would, but I’m sure I don’t have enough movement.
+
+MATT: Six is about as close as you can get,
+there.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, so you’re at advantage because of your
+size and all of your attacks have an additional
+
+1d4.
+
+ASHLEY: (high-pitched) Ooh!
+
+SAM: She’s huge!
+
+LIAM: She’s 14 feet tall.
+
+SAM: 14?
+
+LIAM: No, you’re six? 12 feet tall.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m like 5'11”.
+
+LIAM: 12-ish feet tall. Doubles it. Your weight is
+eight times its normal weight.
+
+MATT: You have advantage on strength checks and
+saving throws, which is what your rage does, but
+
+your weapons do an additional 1d4 points of damage
+when you hit, which is good.
+
+ASHLEY: Excellent. I’m into that.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve had this dream.
+
+MATT: Caleb, that ends your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Question, quick retroactive one: Can I
+use my reaction attack when that thing attacked
+
+Jester to do my Sentinel thing?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do that?
+
+MATT: Go for it. As it strikes and misses Jester,
+you get one swing, but it’s with disadvantage on
+
+the attack because you’re poisoned.
+
+MARISHA: Nope.
+
+MATT: Swing wide, unfortunately you’re hazy in
+your view, and you feel the poison start to seep
+
+into your veins, the diseased bite of the creature
+starting to infect your torso. That ends Caleb’s
+
+turn, Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I will shoot my thing at it!
+
+MATT: You other three are up after that, at the
+same time.
+
+SAM: 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits! Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Is Yasha–
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re adjacent, so you get sneak
+attack.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, that’s good.
+
+MATT: Oh, damn!
+
+SAM: Okay, (counting) 19.
+
+MATT: 19 points of damage.
+
+SAM: Wait, you know what? If I’m going to be
+honest, that thing is beyond 30 feet, so I would
+
+have moved in closer so I don’t have to fire at
+disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Okay, so I’ll put you about there to do
+that.
+
+SAM: Then do I have any movement left?
+
+MATT: Five feet.
+
+SAM: All right, well then I’ll dash and I’ll go
+back around towards me, behind this corner and
+
+hide. Just duck back there. That’s it! Take a
+swig.
+
+MATT: Take a swig. It’s a free action. All right,
+Jester, Yasha, and Fjord, you guys are going at
+
+the same time, so you decide who is going to take
+their action first.
+
+TRAVIS: Ladies first.
+
+ASHLEY: We can go in that order.
+
+MATT: All right, so Jester, Yasha, then Fjord.
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: Okay, well he’s right there, so I’m going
+to use Sacred Flame on him. Oh, actually I’m
+
+really close and he’s already been hurt. I’m going
+to Toll the Dead on him.
+
+MATT: What saving throw is that?
+
+LAURA: That is a wisdom saving throw!
+
+MATT: Rolled a four. Three plus one.
+
+LAURA: I get to hit him! Seven points of damage!
+
+MATT: Seven points of necrotic damage. As the bell
+(ringing) you watch as the creature shimmies in place.
+
+LAURA: I want to back away! Did he already use his
+reaction at all?
+
+MATT: You don’t think so. What do you want to do?
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+SAM: Just run away. What could happen?
+
+MARISHA: Run away!
+
+LAURA: No, fuck it, I’m going to stay right
+there.
+
+MATT: Jester stays. Yasha, what are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: If I move–
+
+SAM: (deep voice) I’m sorry, you have to talk like
+this now.
+
+ASHLEY: (deep voice) If I move (normal voice)
+right here, am I ten feet of the creature, but
+
+they’re not ten feet of me, right?
+
+MATT: You don’t get reach with the Enlarge, so you
+still have to get one more to hit with the melee
+
+weapon.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I get one more, but I’m not ten feet
+away from Beau and Jester, right?
+
+MATT: You’re ten feet away from Beau, currently.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I go one over to the right?
+
+MATT: There? You’re ten feet away from Jester,
+yeah.
+
+LIAM: Who do you choose?
+
+ASHLEY: You know what, I won’t do that right now.
+I would like to rage.
+
+MATT: Rage kicks in.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to use my Magician’s Judge sword
+and start swinging.
+
+MATT: You have any reckless attacks, or not?
+
+ASHLEY: Say again?
+
+MATT: No, that’s fine.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, no. 14.
+
+MATT: 14 just hits, go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: You get advantage, remember.
+
+MATT: Not on attacks. If she does reckless, she
+gets advantage.
+
+LAURA: Okay, sorry.
+
+LIAM: And your 1d4 for being gigantic.
+
+ASHLEY: (counting) 20.
+
+MATT: 20 points of damage with the strike. As
+large Yasha (heavy footsteps)–
+
+SAM: You added all your shit to that?
+
+ASHLEY: I added all my shit.
+
+MATT: This is going to be a thing. I have to make
+a large Yasha figure now. Swing the giant blade
+
+with two hands. As the blade carves down, it
+embeds itself four or five inches into the body of
+
+the creature. It pulls back instinctually, and as
+it does, it drags the blade through its body and
+
+blood sprays out. The blood itself is a thick
+brown color, and the smell gets even worse as it
+
+begins to spray its ichor around the air. Well
+done. Is that your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yep, and I’m going to stay right there.
+
+MATT: Fjord, your turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I turn towards the beast, and I’ll
+cast Eldritch Blast at it.
+
+MATT: Go for it. You step out from behind cover.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a 23 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a ten plus four, 14 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: Nice!
+
+TRAVIS: Can I roll back behind cover?
+
+MATT: You can. Dart back onto the edge–
+
+TRAVIS: Even a couple more. Out of view, there we
+go.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Top of the round, Beau,
+you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to fight, both my swords, pop
+pop, coming down on his head. Don’t fuck me, Gil.
+
+That’s all right, 18.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage on all attacks.
+
+MARISHA: Disadvantage because I’m poisoned. 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits!
+
+LIAM: Matt, is that ring for what, concentration?
+
+MATT: Concentration.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not a thing. Nine damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage as you strike it. This
+time, the wooden sword does snap. It breaks on
+
+impact. You still have the hilt.
+
+MARISHA: I turn to the audience and I go:
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: (distant yelling) There’s a resounding
+cheer.
+
+MARISHA: I go: Yasha, look! I do Patient Defense
+for my other ki point.
+
+MATT: You go in your defensive stance. Good. That
+ends your turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: How many feet away am I from this
+thing?
+
+MATT: You are 40, 45 feet from it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to start dashing to that
+next– yeah, that direction.
+
+MATT: 30, that’s your movement.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to do one more attempt at
+Vicious Mockery. (Infernal noises)
+
+MATT: That’s a 14.
+
+TALIESIN: He still saves?
+
+MATT: He still saves.
+
+TALIESIN. That’s all right.
+
+MATT: That your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s what I got.
+
+MATT: Now it’s the creature’s turn. With you right
+there in front of it, it’s going to attempt to
+
+bite you, Yasha, with its giant mouth.
+
+LAURA: No, not its poop mouth!
+
+MATT: That is 16. What’s your armor class?
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: Aw, okay, hits you.
+
+MARISHA: Attack with my reaction!
+
+TRAVIS: Sentinel!
+
+MARISHA: Sentinel! Natural 20. Eight. 14.
+
+MATT: 14 does hit. You take 15 points of piercing
+damage, and I need you to make a constitution
+
+saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m not going to use that one.
+
+SAM: Does the Enlarge give her advantage on saving
+throws?
+
+MATT: Just strength.
+
+ASHLEY: Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight. Even in your enlarged state, the
+diseased gathering of bacteria and terrible
+
+elements–
+
+ASHLEY: 15 points?
+
+MATT: 15 points. The poison courses through your
+body, and Yasha, you are considered poisoned.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, this sucks!
+
+MARISHA: It takes seven points of damage from the
+unarmed strike.
+
+MATT: It does. It’s going to take its tentacles
+and swing one towards you, Jester.
+
+SAM: Oh no, Jessie!
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: That is 23 to hit.
+
+LAURA: That hits me.
+
+MATT: As the tentacle swings out toward you,
+clawing past you with its raking teeth– oh shit.
+
+That’s 11 points of bludgeoning damage plus eight
+points of piercing damage as it carves into you.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use Hellish Rebuke on him.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you still don’t have any stupid arms,
+stupid!
+
+MATT: You are also grappled, as the tentacle wraps
+around you and begins to squeeze and hold you in
+
+place. The teeth and the thorns that are coming
+out of the side of its tentacle jamming into your
+
+body. Is it a constitution save for Hellish
+Rebuke?
+
+LAURA: Hellish Rebuke is a 2nd-level. I really
+wish it gave more information about what–
+
+SAM: It will certainly be fixed, because D&D
+Beyond is a responsive company and we love them.
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t say anywhere what Hellish
+Rebuke– oh there it is! Dexterity save!
+
+MATT: There we go. That is going to be a nine.
+
+LAURA: That means I get 3d10.
+
+MATT: 3d10 damage to it.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+TRAVIS: Rock that shit. Goodnight Irene, let’s
+go.
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. Nice. There’s a burst
+of icy shards and blades that explode out of
+
+Jester into the tentacle and along the side of its
+body as it pulls back in place, swinging its other
+
+tentacle out behind it towards Beau.
+
+LAURA: How much damage did you say I just took,
+though? Because I was busy. 19 points of damage.
+
+SAM: 11 plus eight.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage, because you have defense.
+Even with a disadvantage, that is 18.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck! Yeah.
+
+MATT: You suffer five points of bludgeoning
+damage, plus three points of piercing, so eight
+
+total, and you are also grappled.
+
+LIAM: All of the male players are 40 feet back,
+and all the women are right in there.
+
+MATT: Now you are poisoned and grappled. The two
+side tentacles, and there’s the one large tentacle
+
+on top which, now that you have a closer look, has
+three vertical eyes in it that are glancing around
+
+and looking at the space. The two are wrapped
+around two of your allies as Yasha’s dealing with
+
+the poison wracking through her veins. That’s
+going to end its turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I am very aware of how many people are in
+this arena, especially high-powered ones, as I
+
+wrap one hand around my forearm and I cast
+Scorching Ray even though I feel nauseous, and off
+
+they go.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Because it attacked Beau, you
+could use your reaction to attack it back with
+
+your Sentinel feat.
+
+SAM: You have Sentinel also?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: They both do. You have that. I’ll let you do
+it now if you wanted to, if you want to take it.
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck yes. Yes.
+
+LAURA: If you feel like attacking.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage on the attack,
+unfortunately.
+
+LIAM: 26, ten, 16.
+
+MATT: The first and the last one hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Natural 20. 13.
+
+MATT: 13 just misses. You swing, and as you’re
+about to hit with the blade, the poison pulses
+
+through your veins, and you go wide as the
+creature manages to be out of range. How much
+
+damage is that?
+
+LIAM: 15 points of fire damage.
+
+MATT: Both rays slam into it and the flames burst
+up, and you hear (pained gurgling), trying to pull
+
+back from the impact, but it’s currently by the
+wall, and it’s holding onto your friends and
+
+holding its ground.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take a step five feet that way and as I
+do so I look over at Fjord and just– and that’s
+
+the end of my turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Big nope.
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s go. Jester.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s me!
+
+MATT: Yes. You are currently grappled, and while
+you are grappled you are restrained until you
+
+break free.
+
+SAM: I think it’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Oh, sorry, Nott’s after Caleb, my bad. Thank
+you.
+
+SAM: I’m going to stick my hand around and fire my
+little crossy-bowy. Not good! Not good at all.
+
+Ten!
+
+MATT: Ten goes wide. As it’s reeling back from the
+blow of the flame jets from your buddy Caleb,
+
+unfortunately as you fire it moves just out of the
+way, and the bolt goes wide.
+
+SAM: I will reload and fire again. Oh god! Should
+we count that?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I think so. What do you add to it?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. Matt, do I count that or not?
+
+LAURA: It’s 18. It landed in my box, but it landed
+up.
+
+MATT: If it landed, then it’s fine.
+
+SAM: Okay, 18 to hit.
+
+MATT: 18 does hit, so go ahead and roll damage and
+sneak attack.
+
+SAM: I get sneak attack?
+
+MATT: It’s still adjacent to a friend of yours.
+
+SAM: Great. 15.
+
+MATT: Nice, all right. It strikes on the inside of
+the mouth.
+
+SAM: I’ll take Fury of the Small, why not. 19.
+
+MATT: 19 points of damage total, got it. (bolt
+impact, groaning) It looks like it’s hurting, but
+
+it’s also in control of the battlefield on that
+side there. That ends your turn. Jester.
+
+SAM: Back behind a wall.
+
+LAURA: Oh god. Does it look like it’s hurting at
+all?
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s hurt.
+
+LAURA: While I’m in its grasp, can I touch the
+tentacle and cast Toll the Dead again?
+
+MATT: If you’d like to.
+
+SAM: If you think that would help.
+
+LAURA: I want to do that.
+
+MATT: Okay. The saving throw– that’s cocked. No,
+that is a five plus one.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Two.
+
+MATT: Hey, it all helps. It all goes to the same
+place. You are still restrained and held in place
+
+there. Anything else you want to do?
+
+LAURA: I probably should have tried to un-restrain
+myself.
+
+SAM: You’re a great player.
+
+MATT: No, it’s an action to break free.
+
+LAURA: It’s an action. Well, I already did it. I
+already Tolled the Dead, so too late.
+
+MATT: End of your turn?
+
+LAURA: I guess so.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to attack again.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no short rest between here
+and–
+
+LAURA: There could be.
+
+MARISHA: No, there could be more groups, man.
+
+MATT: He said about 20 minutes between rounds, and
+a short rest is an hour.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I have advantage on attack, or no?
+
+TRAVIS: If you go reckless, you can.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, that’s right, I haven’t used reckless
+yet. Shit.
+
+MATT: You have not used reckless. That gives you
+advantage on your attacks.
+
+ASHLEY: That gives me advantage, but that gives
+them advantage on attacks.
+
+MATT: Correct. For now it’s a straight roll,
+there’s no disadvantage on that roll.
+
+ASHLEY: Sorry guys. Natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS: So nonchalant with that shit!
+
+MATT: That’ll do it. That doubles your weapon and
+the d4. You roll those together. It’s whatever
+
+that is. It’s your 2d6 for your weapon, d6 for
+your divine ability, and then your die, so then
+
+double that. Roll those, double that, and then add
+your plus seven.
+
+ASHLEY: I see.
+
+MATT: Ooh, no.
+
+LAURA: 17 times two is 34.
+
+TALIESIN: Plus seven.
+
+SAM: Whoa, that’s a lot.
+
+ASHLEY: 41.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: No way, really?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you fucking murdered it!
+
+ALL: (chanting) Yasha!
+
+SAM: Remember, you’re twice as big.
+
+MATT: It’s currently holding Jester and Beau, and
+it looks like it’s about to slam them together.
+
+It’s pulling them back and their feet are dragging
+off the ground and causing grooves in the sand,
+
+and it’s (growling).
+
+ASHLEY: I want to take the blade, turn it down,
+and straight into the middle of it.
+
+MATT: Which you can do, because at your full
+height, you’re about as tall as it is. In a
+
+downward angle, you thrust forward and jam it
+right into the center of its membrane above its
+
+mouth. As you push down, you watch your blade
+actually protrude out the roof of its mouth,
+
+through its mouth, through the tongue, and into
+the rest of its body, and as you push, it gives
+
+this horrible squealing, guttural, swine-like
+sound, and as you push, and push, and push, it
+
+falls onto its back, and you keep pushing, and you
+keep pushing, and the tentacles go limp and
+
+release both Jester and Beau. At that point, you
+pull the blade free, and it is not moving on the
+
+ground, bleeding out into the sand.
+
+ALL: Whoa!
+
+LAURA: That was amazing.
+
+MARISHA: That was fucking awesome.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Thaumaturgy and start
+whispers throughout the crowd going: (chanting)
+
+Yasha, Yasha! Hopefully the crowd picks it up.
+
+ASHLEY: I run back into the hidden area
+immediately, and I don’t stay out there.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to know. Enlarge lasts for how
+long?
+
+LIAM: A minute, so probably the time it takes her
+to cast that spell and you to run into that hole.
+
+Yasha, that should probably end right about (magic
+fizzles).
+
+MATT: Your size is reduced to a more diminutive
+stance. As you guys back into the inside, the
+
+poison, however, is still holding.
+
+SAM: Oh no. Can we use some medicine?
+
+LAURA: Yes. I’ve got one kit left so I’m going to
+use my medicinal herbs on you, Beau, to get rid of
+
+the poison.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck yeah. Please.
+
+TRAVIS: Where are you at, Jester? Hit point-wise?
+
+LAURA: I’m very low, hit point-wise. I’m at 12 out
+of 31.
+
+TRAVIS: You want a health potion?
+
+LAURA: Huh?
+
+TRAVIS: You want a health potion?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I can use my spells to heal us right
+now.
+
+TRAVIS: I think you should save–
+
+LAURA: The only thing I have that can get rid of
+poisoning is Lesser Restoration, which I can cast
+
+on Yasha right now. I can get rid of the poison on
+you.
+
+SAM: Wait, but the poison will go away eventually,
+right? Won’t it?
+
+TALIESIN: Not before the next fight, I don’t
+think.
+
+MATT: You don’t know.
+
+LAURA: It’s probably–
+
+MATT: In your herbalism kit, you can make
+antitoxin if you’re in a space–
+
+LAURA: No, it’s not an herbalism kit, it’s
+medicinal herbs, which you specifically told me it
+
+removes poison on action.
+
+MATT: Yes. It’s a medicine check to apply it
+properly, but you can do that.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+SAM: Make that check!
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s your medicine check?
+
+LAURA: I’m proficient– oh, that’s good.
+
+SAM: A lot.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, it’s a 23.
+
+MATT: Yeah. As you guys back into the corner, you
+manage to go ahead and apply the medicinal herbs,
+
+which are used now, but the poison does manage to
+fade from your body, Beau. You are no longer
+
+poisoned. You’re using Lesser Restoration on
+Yasha, you said? Up to you.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll do it.
+
+MATT: Okay, the poison is removed, which is
+probably a good thing because it lasts until
+
+cured.
+
+SAM: Oh wow!
+
+MATT: Technically, it’s a disease that causes
+poison, but because the nature of the herbs that
+
+you’ve utilized in this space, it fits in a
+similar realm because it’s a bacterial infection
+
+that kicks in. I’ll say because you got to it
+quickly enough and you rolled so high, you were
+
+able to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Because you got stabbed with poop-teeth.
+
+MATT: Kind of, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Jester, what are you at, right now?
+
+LAURA: I’m at 12 hit points.
+
+SAM: You need to heal!
+
+ASHLEY: I give her a potion of healing.
+
+LAURA: Yasha, you need healing too!
+
+ASHLEY: No it’s fine!
+
+LAURA: Are you sure?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, I’m sure.
+
+MARISHA: I won’t deny it, but I also won’t request
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, fucking take it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: It’s what? How many d4? 2d4?
+
+MATT: 2d4 plus two for a healing potion. As you
+guys are in the process of doing this, you hear
+
+the voice shouting out– not even realizing the
+other group that walks outside. “The Mountain
+
+“Makers from Grimgolir!” The dwarf and gnome troupe
+makes their way out into the field. As the crowd
+
+cheers, the emcee vanishes, and you see an opposing
+side open once again. Immediately bursting
+
+through, you see a large, nine-foot troll with
+elongated arms and legs start rushing into the
+
+fray, screaming this high-pitched yelp. As it
+runs, you can see its skin, as opposed to the deep
+
+forest green that you’ve read about or seen in
+trolls in your experiences, this looks like a dull
+
+teal-blue color. You watch as the dwarves, all of
+a sudden, rush in. The gnomes begin casting
+
+spells, and this assault goes back and forth. You
+see with each strike this cold mist off the claws
+
+of the troll with each blow. You watch as the
+gnomes begin to apply fire upon fire, and you
+
+watch as the entity burns, their intelligent
+knowledge of the creature causing it to prevent it
+
+from regenerating. Fairly rapidly, they make short
+work of it. They were prepared, and it was not as
+
+intense a battle as you were expecting. With
+that–
+
+TRAVIS: Did it look like they prepared anything
+with fire before the creature came out?
+
+MATT: To your memory, you didn’t know that. You
+didn’t notice anything. With the final of the
+
+battle, the cheers go wild, the crowd goes crazy,
+and eventually, The Mountain Makers make their way
+
+back into the field. Anything else you guys needed
+to prepare at this time?
+
+MARISHA: They had real good teamwork. Maybe we
+should come up with special moves.
+
+SAM: Like what?
+
+TALIESIN: Like heal.
+
+SAM: Like don’t run up so close, or at least wait
+a little bit first to gauge the beast.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+SAM: Don’t run into the – You’re going to die!
+
+MATT: “Out from the Menagerie Coast! The Stubborn
+Stock!”
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s not us.
+
+MATT: Behind you, as the doors open, they move
+past you. Darrow goes, “Hey, wish us luck, friends,”
+
+and enters into the sunlight.
+
+LAURA: Good luck!
+
+MATT: The doors close. Looking out past the way,
+another door opens off to the side, and you watch
+
+as a 15-foot-long crocodile becomes barreling into
+the center, its jaws opening and snapping as it
+
+comes rushing in. It climbs over the wall that the
+guys are getting behind to defend and immediately
+
+snaps down on one of the soldiers, who gets hit in
+the side and screams out in pain. They all begin
+
+to rush in and assault, jumping off the wall and
+getting onto its back. You watch as Darrow climbs
+
+up onto it, taking a shortsword that one of his
+friends had dropped, and jams it into the top of
+
+the head. As he pulls out his battleaxe, he begins
+to hack away. He seems to be laughing. Another friend pries
+
+the mouth off of the one soldier that had been
+stamped on. He limps away as it spins around, its
+
+tail slapping one of its friends, sending him
+flying back ten feet as his weapon goes skidding
+
+into the sky. It hits the dirt off the way. He
+runs to try and retrieve it. The battle goes back
+
+and forth for a while. One of their friends goes
+down and one of his allies grabs and pulls him
+
+away from the battle zone as he begins to try and
+wake him up. At this point, you watch as Darrow
+
+makes a couple of motions to his friends, and they
+all cycle in and assault at one time, cutting at
+
+the throat of the large crocodile as Darrow takes
+his axe and carves out one of its eyes. As it
+
+pulls back, screaming in pain, they both come
+underneath and cut through the throat at the same
+
+time, causing it to bleed out. With that, the
+crocodile collapses, not moving, into the field.
+
+MARISHA: Did you see that? He had a sign, and then
+things happened.
+
+MATT: They slap awake their ally, and they begin
+to drag themselves back into the chamber as the
+
+crowd’s cheering. They’re a little wounded and a
+little winded, but as they come in, “Heh! That
+
+"wasn’t too bad! You’re on deck, I suppose!” They
+bring their friend over to the side, and one–
+
+TRAVIS: They used cover really well. We should try
+and hide ourselves better.
+
+SAM: I can make a box!
+
+TALIESIN: No, don’t do that.
+
+SAM: I can actually make a 15 foot large box! We
+could all fit in it!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take a healing potion.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott had a great idea actually though. We
+should keep our distance.
+
+SAM: Keep our distance. We don’t know what door
+they’re coming out.
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t.
+
+SAM: Did we see which door the last two monsters
+came out of?
+
+MATT: The one that came out here. The crocodile
+came out here.
+
+SAM: That was the last one?
+
+MATT: That was the last one.
+
+ASHLEY: What about the teal thing? What was the–
+Who did The Mountain Makers fight?
+
+MATT: Oh, the ice troll! Sorry. The ice troll came
+from this side there. They are changing–
+
+ASHLEY: They’re changing.
+
+TRAVIS: You people that need to be up close, just
+wait until it gets to you. Make him chase you for
+
+a bit. Use the cover. Let’s put some damage on it
+before–
+
+MARISHA: I could do that. I could be a
+distraction–
+
+MATT: “To the front lines again! The Last Line!”
+You see as the armored soldiers go back out there
+
+into the field. They get into the center. They
+form a phalanx back to back in the center as they
+
+look around in any direction, and you hear
+(grunting) (roaring) and two gates open. From each
+
+gate, two large-looking figures come charging out.
+You see these sprinting, dark, humanoid creatures
+
+with giant horns out of the front of their head.
+Two minotaurs come charging into the center.
+
+Immediately, they both break into two groups and
+try to head them off, shields up. One of them gets
+
+thrown, taking the impact of the blow. Knocked
+back onto his ass, three feet back. The other one
+
+gets gored immediately, the horns piercing his
+armor and throwing him into the air. As this
+
+happens, you notice now they’re both wielding
+large axes, and they start cleaving into the
+
+opponents. They’re giving up a good fight, and it
+goes back and forth for a bit, but at one point
+
+you watch one drop, and another drop. A third one
+gets grabbed and picked up and then broken over
+
+the knee of one of the minotaurs. At which point,
+you see the elven general begins to look around
+
+nervously and starts waving his hand to call it
+off just as one of them gores him from behind. He
+
+gets thrown ten feet, landing onto the ground
+rolling, unconscious. His blade clattering in the
+
+dirt. There you see Gunther in the center with two
+warhammers in his hands, blood down his face
+
+going, “Come on!” They both come charging in at
+him from two different sides. Last minute, he
+
+darts backward, causing them to collide into each
+other. As they’re stunned, he rushes up and jams
+
+his hammer into the head of one of them. Once.
+Twice. One of the minotaurs goes down, and right
+
+as he pulls back, the second minotaur gets him
+from behind. You watch as a horn pierce where his
+
+liver is, and he falls unconscious on the ground.
+They fall. The final minotaur roars up into the
+
+air and the whole crowd goes, “Oh!” You watch as
+two groups come out with chains and manacles and
+
+manage to grapple and throw them down. The lasting
+minotaur passes out in the chains and they drag
+
+him back off the field. The two clerics rush out
+into the field and prevent death to those who are
+
+in the process of slipping. With that, The Last
+Line is pulled back, the first fallen out here in
+
+the field.
+
+LAURA: That was intense. Would we be able to have
+fought those two minotaurs?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: I don’t know.
+
+SAM: No! Of course not!
+
+MATT: “The first fallen in the tournament!”
+
+TALIESIN: Focus on one target at a time.
+
+MATT: “Let us greet back to the field, The Mighty
+Nein!” The doors open once more.
+
+MARISHA: She’s Cure Woundsing me!
+
+MATT: All righty. Where do you guys wish to be
+placed?
+
+LAURA: Is it possible to climb up on one of the
+walls?
+
+MATT: If you’d like to try.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to try and climb up on top of the
+wall.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check real fast.
+
+ASHLEY: Am I able to take a potion of healing?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: That’s really good. This one, sure. Why
+not.
+
+MATT: This one here?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll back up into that far corner.
+
+MATT: This one here?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: It’s a 22.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re fine.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll move here.
+
+MATT: Nott?
+
+SAM: Dead center. I’m going to cast Mage Hand.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to stand by Caleb, actually.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re with Caleb there?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Beau, ten points.
+
+MARISHA: Yes! I love you, Jester!
+
+MATT: All righty. As you guys all take your place,
+two gates immediately open again. You hear two
+
+sources of this loud, deep (howling). Leaping
+through both sides, you see two massive, white
+
+furred wolves come leaping through into a full
+sprint.
+
+LAURA: I Invoke Duplicity in the middle of the–
+next to Nott.
+
+MATT: From this side and this side here. You
+Invoke Duplicity?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, next to Nott.
+
+MATT: Next to Nott. All righty, I need you all to
+roll initiative.
+
+(screaming)
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+LIAM: Natural one!
+
+MATT: Aw, Caleb. My dice fell.
+
+LIAM: Hundred dollars.
+
+MATT: Sorry, mic. All righty, for this new round,
+25 to 20?
+
+TALIESIN: 21.
+
+MARISHA: 24.
+
+LAURA: 22.
+
+MATT: Oh shit. We have Beau–
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, and Molly.
+
+MATT: You got it. 20 to 15?
+
+ASHLEY: 15! I was just, I’ll wait until the end.
+Oh wait, I rolled high!
+
+MATT: All right then, it’d be Yasha. 15 to ten?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no. No, that isn’t me either.
+
+MATT: Ten to five?
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+TRAVIS: Six.
+
+LAURA: Six again, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+SAM: Two for Caleb.
+
+MATT: Caleb at the bottom.
+
+LIAM: I rolled a natural one, so–.
+
+MATT: Top of the round, as the wolves begin to
+emerge, Beau, you’re up first.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to run (counting) 40, I
+guess?
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+ASHLEY: Look at the blood on there already.
+
+MARISHA: I’m– Yeah, that’s cool– I’m going to
+look at this one and I’m going to go, hey
+
+(whistles), go fetch! I’m going to throw my other
+wooden sword at that one, and then I’m going to do
+
+Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Right in the middle of them.
+
+MATT: Make an animal handling check.
+
+MARISHA: Animal handling.
+
+MATT: Just because I want to see what will
+happen.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to use this lucky die that this
+Critter gave me! Okay! 20!
+
+MATT: Okay. You throw it.
+
+MARISHA: Come on boy!
+
+MATT: That’s your action.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what do you mean that’s my action?
+
+MATT: Yeah, to get its attention and try and throw
+it?
+
+MARISHA: I can’t take a ki point to do Patient
+Defense?
+
+MATT: Patient Defense is a bonus, you’re fine.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, so Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: That’s it.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends Beau’s turn. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Sacred Flame at the one
+behind me!
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: That’s a dex save.
+
+MATT: That’s a failure. That is an eight.
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that one.
+
+LAURA: Five points of damage to him!
+
+MATT: Five points of damage, nice. All righty.
+
+SAM: Or her.
+
+MATT: As the divine flame burns up around it, it’s
+still running.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to make my Invoked Duplicity
+Jester run right in the middle of the two walls,
+
+past Fjord.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and she’s going to start going
+(gibberish).
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Look at me, look at me!
+
+MATT: All right, that ends your turn. Molly,
+you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a run towards the fake
+Jester.
+
+MATT: All righty. 25. 30
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s where I can get there. I’m
+going to try and see if I can make Vicious Mockery
+
+work on this thing.
+
+MATT: You have line of sight.
+
+TALIESIN: I do have line of sight?
+
+MATT: That’s a eight, so that hits.
+
+TALIESIN: (sinister voice) Bad doggy!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Butt turkey?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep, butt turkey, you heard me. That’s
+one point of psychic damage and it has
+
+disadvantage next attack.
+
+MATT: You got it. That ends Molly’s turn. It is
+now the wolves’ turn. This one is going to run,
+
+pacing around this side, up into that range there.
+It’s going to rush up and partially pass through
+
+the Jester illusion, look back and see all that
+crowd in front, in its area. It pulls back and its
+
+shoulders curl up and the fur expands and (deep
+roar). You watch as a burst of freezing winter air
+
+blows out of its open mouth.
+
+LAURA and SAM: (groaning)
+
+MATT: That’s going to get all three of you guys.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I need you all to make a dexterity saving
+throw.
+
+LAURA: Even though I am high up?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s a cone out in that direction.
+
+TRAVIS: Round two.
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+MATT: That’s a success.
+
+LIAM: Four.
+
+MATT: Nope. Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Natural one.
+
+MATT: Okay!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck me. Oh god.
+
+MATT: 16 points of cold damage to Yasha and Caleb
+and eight points to you, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Already? Eight points to me?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Halved because I’m resistant to cold
+damage.
+
+MATT: Exactly, so four. The other one is going to
+(galloping noises) turn around–
+
+MARISHA: What?!
+
+MATT: It’s not going for a wooden sword.
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a natural 20!
+
+LIAM: You can certainly try.
+
+MATT: It saw it for a moment. It’s going to move,
+rush up here.
+
+MARISHA: That was a ki point! A very valuable ki
+point!
+
+MATT: It was running out and you whistled and it
+went (grunt) and kept running.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+MATT: It’s going to go ahead and blast another
+cold air bit in that direction that will go for
+
+both Molly and Fjord. I need you both to roll
+dexterity saving throws, please.
+
+LAURA: Roll high.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+TALIESIN: Eight.
+
+TRAVIS: 12.
+
+MATT: You barely succeed!
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh!
+
+MATT: Molly does not. That is 26 points of cold
+damage to you, Molly. I rolled really well on that.
+
+SAM: Oh, jeez!
+
+MATT: That’s 13 to you, Fjord.
+
+LAURA: 26 points?
+
+TALIESIN: I am not resistant to cold.
+
+MATT: You are not, unfortunately, no.
+
+TRAVIS: 13, yeah okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Ow!
+
+SAM: Wait! You’re out?
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m fine. I’m not fine but ow!
+
+MATT: Yeah, and as it finishes blowing, it growls
+in place. That’s going to end its turn.
+
+SAM: Damn.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so that will bring us to the next
+round. That’s Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: (shouting) Pick one and focus fire on that
+one!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so reckless. Let me see something
+here. Sorry. Where’s the hex? Divine Fury? Can I
+
+do that as well?
+
+MATT: All righty. Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Are you raging?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t have any more.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: You raged too much in the games of chance.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, do I have advantage, or that’s it?
+
+MATT: You have advantage with your attacks, if
+you’re reckless.
+
+ASHLEY: Sorry. Natural 20 again.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: That will hit!
+
+ASHLEY: Divine Fury is an extra–
+
+MATT: d6.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah! Should have had disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage doesn’t affect it. It’s a
+cone.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a cone? Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+ASHLEY: Ugh. (counting) Eight.
+
+MATT: See, technically it would be– It was a
+natural 20? You only roll three of those dice.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, is Divine Fury an extra d6.
+
+MATT: Yes, that’s how it is.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s three, I’m sorry.
+
+MATT: Roll again, that’s fine. It’s 2d6 reroll.
+It’s okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. (counting) Seven, ten, 27.
+
+MATT: 27 points of damage! You carve a hefty chunk
+out of this wolf as you slam down with your blade.
+
+As it carves past, you see where the white fur has
+now become red on its left side. It (whimpers)
+
+pulls back from the pain. Part of its flesh is
+flapping from the wound you left as you draw the
+
+blade back. That was a pretty hefty hit. That ends
+Yasha’s turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’m going to aim for that flap of
+skin.
+
+MATT: Fjord, you’re up next.
+
+SAM: Fire. 25 to hit.
+
+MATT: That definitely hits.
+
+SAM: That is 16 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 16 points of damage. Beautiful!
+
+SAM: I will run. Nope, I will fire again.
+(reloading) Same place.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: 16 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits! Roll damage.
+
+SAM: Six points.
+
+MATT: Six to that guy. As both bolts hit the open
+wound that Yasha left behind, it’s now starting to
+
+growl and look like it’s in pain and is getting
+cornered-animal angry.
+
+SAM: I’m going to run this way, as far as my
+little– well, so I can still see everybody and
+
+the action.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends Nott’s turn. Fjord,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to cast Armor of Agathys on
+myself, and I’m going to use my bonus action to
+
+cast Hex on the wolf that’s nearest to Yasha and
+give it disadvantage on dexterity checks. I’m
+
+going to use my movement to run towards that
+wolf.
+
+MATT: This wolf here?
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: You can get there.
+
+TRAVIS: In between Molly and Yasha.
+
+MATT: The one that you run away from does snap at
+you with its maw. I know you guys love that word.
+
+I know I do. That is going to be a nine. That does
+not hit, it’s a three plus six. Its jaws snap
+
+behind you and you hear the impact, but it’s too
+far below you. That ends Fjord’s go. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I pull out a cat’s paw and say: (stuttering)
+Bad dog. Maximilian’s Grasping Cat’s Claw comes
+
+out by that one there. It has to make a strength
+saving throw.
+
+MATT: This one here?
+
+LIAM: Ja, but it has to save.
+
+MATT: Strength saving throw. That is going to be a
+12. What’s your DC?
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15, no. He is held in place. As the hand
+creeps up and grabs it, it (yelps) and it’s held
+
+in place now, up off the ground, its paws held as
+this giant caw paw is holding the doggy.
+
+LIAM: Und I will move that ways to make a
+triangle with the two dogs and myself to get as
+
+far away as I can get.
+
+MARISHA: What does restraining it do?
+
+LIAM: Everyone gets advantage on it and it’s at
+disadvantage to hit us.
+
+SAM: That’s great!
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s turn. At the top, Beau,
+you’re up. Jester, you’re up next.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to look around with my
+defensive stance and be like “Aw, fucking really?”
+
+and then go: Parkour! Stab!
+
+LAURA: No, attack the one that’s by all of us!
+
+MARISHA: No, this guy’s got advantage!
+
+TRAVIS: Stay out of the cone, get on the
+backside.
+
+MARISHA: It’s fine! Oh, wait, that guy’s cone?
+
+MATT: You’re already there.
+
+MARISHA: Well, it’s on.
+
+MATT: You’re there. You have advantage on your
+strikes, though.
+
+MARISHA: I’m coming down very hard and heavy.
+Advantage. I’ll take that natural 19, and then for
+
+my second one– advantage on all of them?
+
+MATT: Yeah, because it’s restrained.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take that 13?
+
+MATT: 13 just hits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, so the first one: not great, six
+damage? Second one: better, eight damage.
+
+MATT: Eight damage, all righty. As you leap over,
+slamming your fist down– or, your staff down– on
+
+the nostril of the restrained wolf, and then as
+you land, hit it with the back of your elbow. It
+
+takes the impact, but it can’t move anywhere; it’s
+held in place by this magical–
+
+MARISHA: Do I still have a little bit of
+movement?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+MARISHA: Can I move behind it a little bit?
+
+MATT: It would be– Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh, also, sorry. It takes bludgeoning damage
+from the attack that I gave it.
+
+MATT: Roll damage for that, please. You’re trying
+to move around it? You have about 15 more feet of
+
+movement, I’ll say.
+
+MARISHA: Can I come right here to it? You know
+what– nah, it’s fine. Whatever works, it’s all
+
+good. I’m into it all.
+
+LIAM: Six.
+
+MATT: Six damage, got it. That ends Beau’s turn.
+Jester, you’re up. Molly, you’re on deck.
+
+LAURA: Having seen Beau do that just then and it
+looked really cool, I’m going to jump off the wall
+
+with my handaxe in my hand and try to come down
+onto the back of the one right there.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re going to run across the
+wall?
+
+MARISHA: Hardcore parkour!
+
+LAURA: That is a 17 to hit! Nine points of
+damage!
+
+MATT: Nine points of slashing damage against this,
+nice.
+
+MARISHA: Fighting’s more epic when you’re flying
+through the air!
+
+MATT: As you carve down with the axe and it cuts
+through, it yelps again. You guys are cutting it
+
+up pretty bad. It’s hurting. It’s not on death’s
+door or anything, but it’s hurting. Its fur is
+
+starting to get matted with its own blood with
+each blow. That ends Jester’s turn– or, anything
+
+else you want to do with your turn?
+
+LAURA: Can I back up? Is it going to get an attack
+of opportunity?
+
+MATT: Only one way to find out.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: That’s a yes.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! Well, I’m going to move around him.
+I’m going to move to his tail. To the pillar, yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, you’re right up against the pillar,
+we’ll say. That ends your turn, Jester. Molly,
+
+you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a slashing attack at
+the guy right in front of me.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s– oh, goddamn it– that’s 12 to
+hit?
+
+MATT: 12 does not hit, unfortunately. It ducks out
+of the way.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to hit it again. Oh my god,
+it’s a natural fucking one.
+
+(mix of cheers and groans)
+
+MATT: You’re trying to swing at it, but
+unfortunately, for some reason, the howl of its
+
+presence and it moving so quickly in front of you
+throws you off and your blades are not going well.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and circle around a
+little bit to space everybody out a bit.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Molly. It’s now the
+wolf’s turn. Let’s see if they get their breath
+
+back. Nope and nope, neither of them do!
+
+TRAVIS: Huge!
+
+MATT: They are both going to make a single bite
+attack. One of them is going to be, let’s see,
+
+against you, Yasha. You did the most amount of
+damage to it, so it’s going to make a bite attack
+
+against you.
+
+SAM: No!
+
+MATT: That is going to be– and it has advantage,
+since you used your reckless. That’s going to be–
+
+TALIESIN: It still has disadvantage from the– for
+its attack, though.
+
+MATT: Right, so it would have been the first
+strike. That would be a total of 14. What’s your
+
+armor class?
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: Aw, just hits! That would be 12 points of
+piercing damage as it bites down on you with its
+
+giant jaws. I need you to make a strength saving
+throw, which you do not have advantage, currently,
+
+because you’re not raging.
+
+SAM: You’re still strong.
+
+LIAM: Super buff, and not just in the game.
+
+ASHLEY: 24.
+
+MATT: Success, it does not knock you prone. It
+bites and tries to throw you onto the ground, but
+
+you push off of its jaws and use the back of the
+wall to steel yourself and kick its mouth off of
+
+you and still stand there, resolute, with your
+blade in hand. The other one is going to attempt
+
+to break free. It does not like being held in
+place by there. What does it have to roll to break free?
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? What kind of check?
+
+LIAM: Oh, strength.
+
+MATT: Strength? 13 plus four, that’s 17, yeah. It
+manages to break free of the hand.
+
+LIAM: That’s its action, correct, to break free?
+
+MATT: That’s its action, correct. It will move
+over here to flank up right there. Beau, you do
+
+get an attack of opportunity as it moves out of
+the space, and if you hit it, it does prevent it
+
+from moving.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) It does! 14!
+
+MATT: 14 hits.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: It gets dragged back. It does not get into
+melee with the rest of your friends as you grab
+
+that tail and then pull it back.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s eight damage. It’s like a
+Looney Tunes cartoon. My heels are dug in.
+
+MATT: As you’re pulling the tail, it’s screaming.
+
+MARISHA: Show me your belly!
+
+LIAM: It felt its gooch almost rip out.
+
+(sympathetic groans)
+
+MATT: That’s going to end their turn. Yasha,
+you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m going to take another attack.
+Wait, I’m within ten– oh, yeah, I’m right next to
+
+Fjord, huh?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: All right, I’m going to take another
+attack.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+ASHLEY: Reckless, all the stuffs.
+
+LAURA: How you want to do this!
+
+ASHLEY: Natural one.
+
+MATT: Good thing you went reckless.
+
+ASHLEY: Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Jesus! I think you found your snitch!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Nine, 18 (counting) 25 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: 25 points.
+
+ASHLEY: Probably still not enough.
+
+MATT: No, how do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: I want to grab over his head, rip–
+
+MATT: Technically, it’s not plus two with rage,
+because it’s not plus seven, right? Because you
+
+weren’t raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Say that again?
+
+MATT: It’s 23.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s 23, okay.
+
+MATT: Because you’re not raging, remember. There
+is two damage from that you don’t have on the plus
+
+seven, so it’s plus five.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Still enough to finish it, but I wanted to
+let you know.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, what’s the plus five– break it down
+again?
+
+MATT: It’s plus three for strength, plus two for
+your Divine Fury, and then plus two for your rage
+
+damage– that makes it plus seven, but you’re not
+raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, right, I see what you’re saying.
+
+MATT: It had 22 hitpoints left, so you still
+manage to carve it down.
+
+(relieved groaning)
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, sorry. I need to write all these
+down in my notes later so we don’t have to keep
+
+going through this. I’m going to go over the top
+of his head and force his jaw open and then take
+
+my blade and put it through its mouth, straight
+through its mouth. Skewer it.
+
+MATT: As the blade carves through, you hear it
+yelp, and its growl turns into this low, guttural
+
+(fading growl), and goes limp in your grip as you
+push it and draw the blade from its body. It
+
+slumps onto the ground, right at the base of
+Jester. Molly, you both take a step back as the
+
+body slumps to the ground, no longer moving. Hex
+is off.
+
+LAURA: I pet him and say: Good doggy.
+
+MATT: That’s the end of Yasha’s turn. Nott, you’re
+up.
+
+SAM: I do what I always do, I fire my crossbow at
+the beast, for a 14 to hit?
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+SAM: All right– ooh, and it’s sneak–
+
+LAURA: It is definitely sneak attack.
+
+SAM: Oh, 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage to it, all right.
+
+SAM: How’s everyone– is everyone alive right
+now?
+
+LAURA: Everyone’s up.
+
+TALIESIN: Barely. Yasha could use some healing.
+
+SAM: Yasha’s right next to me– I mean Beau.
+
+LIAM: Ah, couldn’t see her behind the wall.
+
+SAM: I will do the same thing. I will reload and
+fire again.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: That’s a miss. Ten points.
+
+MATT: Ten to attack, you mean?
+
+SAM: Ten to attack.
+
+MATT: (arrow firing sound) It goes too wide. It
+hits the stone behind, almost hitting Beau. You’re
+
+like (scattering sound) as it sparks off the
+stone. No impact.
+
+SAM: I’ll duck behind the wall and hide like a
+weakling.
+
+MATT: There you go. Nott the Brave, by the name.
+Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: With my bonus action, can I transfer my
+Hex onto this wolf, and can I start running around
+
+to get to its right hindquarter? Staying in melee,
+but getting on its rear.
+
+MATT: Oh, you’re going in melee with it?
+
+TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: All right, so you move there.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I keep coming this way a little bit
+more? Yeah, right there. I reach back, and as I
+
+start to swing my hand up, I’ll summon the
+Wastehunter falchion and slice up through it.
+
+MATT: As the blade appears in the hand, you see a
+blast of greenish energy as the blade apparates
+
+out of his grip. As he swings upward, it sends an
+arc of seawater splashing into the air. Go ahead
+
+and roll for an attack.
+
+LAURA: Both me and my invoked Jester go: Ooh.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s 26 to hit.
+
+MATT: That definitely hits.
+
+LIAM: Is this the same sword we’ve always seen? I
+don’t remember the word– Liam doesn’t remember
+
+the word Wastehunter.
+
+MATT: Same sword, looks a little different.
+
+TRAVIS: 13 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage to it.
+
+TRAVIS: One d6 necrotic for another four, so 17
+total.
+
+MATT: As you arc upward, it cuts upward, the
+splash of seawater mixed with the arc of blood
+
+from the wound. The way you carved up hits the
+back of its thigh, and one leg collapses for a
+
+second and it looks over at you with these angry,
+piercing blue eyes. It’s looking pretty hurt. It’s
+
+limping to that side, now. You guys see that the
+falchion has a slight curve to it and has a hooked
+
+end to the back of its design. That finishes your
+turn, Fjord. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Ja, just deadpan, I do this around my hand
+and I cast three Scorching Rays out of it at this
+
+thing. The first does not hit at all, it was a two
+plus something. The second one hits: 19 plus seven
+
+is 26. The third one hits: 16 plus seven hits.
+
+MATT: That hits, go and roll for damage.
+
+LIAM: (counting) Four, five, (frustrated noise).
+Total of nine fire damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+MATT: Total of nine fire damage to it. As it’s
+turning back and forth and growling, and Beau’s
+
+harrying it from the side, the two rays of fire
+slam into its side and it turns back around. You
+
+can see the dark burn marks on its white fur where
+the impacts have started to burn, and you can see
+
+some of the skin underneath where the hair has
+been burned away is black and cracked. It’s hurt
+
+pretty bad.
+
+LIAM: I call out as I walk backwards slowly:
+Fjord, you got this? Good. I walk, deadpan,
+
+sideways behind that piece of stone.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Perfect. Ending Caleb’s turn, Beau, you’re
+up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to take my staff– after
+I threw my sword, I’m going to crack it in the
+
+nuts and crack it over the top.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: First attack and second– first attack is
+a natural one!
+
+LAURA: It was so slow–
+
+MARISHA: It really was. Second attack is a 17.
+
+MATT: 17 does hit.
+
+MARISHA: That’s in there. That is a four, so eight
+damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage.
+
+LAURA: Maybe the dice gods really want the charity
+to do well.
+
+LIAM: I think that’s it.
+
+MATT: As you slam it with the second hit up in its
+groin area, it’s impacted. It’s hanging on. It’s
+
+hurting, but it’s pretty beat up.
+
+MARISHA: Spay and neuter your pets! I’m going to
+do Flurry of Blows and I’m going to do one more.
+
+LIAM: Oh, get it. Finish him.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god! Another natural one!
+
+LIAM: That’s good.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck, it really is.
+
+SAM: Terrible.
+
+MARISHA: That’s two natural ones in my turn.
+
+MATT: Yasha and Beau have been hitting two sides
+of coin tonight. All right–
+
+MARISHA: Bob Barker is not here tonight.
+
+MATT: I know, how many ki points do you have
+left?
+
+MARISHA: That’s it. Done.
+
+MATT: That’s the last one. All right.
+
+SAM: Oh, no.
+
+MARISHA: Doneskis.
+
+MATT: Well, that ends Beau’s turn, Jester you’re
+up, and Molly you’re after that.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to Toll the Dead.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: My invoked Jester is going to run around
+and stand next to Fjord.
+
+MATT: Okay. Runs around– It rolled a 14, what’s
+your DC?
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+MATT: Resists it, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Oh, no. No toll.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: No toll or anything.
+
+MATT: Anything else on your turn?
+
+LAURA: I think that’s basically all I can do,
+though.
+
+MATT: Okay. Molly you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to breathe deep and take a run
+at this damn thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on.
+
+TALIESIN: Straight into it and I’m going to come
+swinging out at it.
+
+TRAVIS: Tell us how you taxidermy it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a hit, that’s a 23 to hit?
+
+MATT: That’ll hit.
+
+TALIESIN: This thing doesn’t take extra damage
+from this does it?
+
+MATT: No, it does not.
+
+TALIESIN: No, that’s fine. Seven points of damage
+for the first hit.
+
+MATT: Seven points, all righty.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that right? No, wait, yeah that’s
+right. Then, 23 to hit– 21 to hit.
+
+MATT: Yep, roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s seven points of damage again.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: I want to go in and I want to see if I
+can carve through the mouth as deep in– I’m going
+
+to try and get right in there– I’m going to do a
+dental jawbreaker.
+
+MATT: As you go rushing towards it, it opens its
+jaws to strike. You slide down and with one
+
+scimitar you jam up into its lower jaw, which
+causes its upper jaw to be stuck and as you pull
+
+it out its jaw falls open. As it does, your other
+blade, you backswing dropping– not dropping, but
+
+holding on with both hands on the other side,
+swing through and as it carves in, you actually
+
+get about one to two feet inward as the jaw lolls
+open. The tongue slips out as you cut it from the
+
+inside of the mouth. Its eyes go dull as the
+creature’s body collapses to the ground, no longer moving.
+
+ASHLEY: Fucking yes.
+
+MATT: With that point, the whole crowd goes
+cheering–
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, Yasha.
+
+ALL: Yasha, Yasha.
+
+MATT: The gates where you came open, and you all
+go and return.
+
+LAURA: The minute that it ends I’m going to start
+casting Prayer of Healing.
+
+MATT: Okay, as you guys step into the back
+chamber, you cast Prayer of Healing.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Who all is injured right now?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m pretty bad.
+
+LAURA: One, two, three, four.
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty shit.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not too bad.
+
+LAURA: You’re not and you’re not at all?
+
+SAM: I’ve been drinking and hiding.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so I’m going to cast it on the five
+of us.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LIAM: I could get knocked out by a crownsguard
+right now.
+
+TRAVIS: Could you give it to one more? Do you have
+to spare?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, I’ll take some.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, that’s what I’m asking. I can do
+six people.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great.
+
+LAURA: That’s decent. 14 points to everyone.
+
+SAM: Oh that’s great. That’s huge. Wow. Healer.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+SAM: I think Laura is the best healer we’ve ever
+had.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As you guys pull back into your chamber,
+there’s a few nods. Darrow’s clapping and the rest
+
+of his team are clapping. There’s a clap from two
+of the Mountain Makers off to the side. At which
+
+point, “The Mountain Makers!” are announced and
+they step out into the space. As they all gather,
+
+hiding in the corner, spreading out a bit, two of
+the sides open. Out of one, two large furred
+
+entities about eight to nine feet tall come
+rushing in with a combination of fur and feathers,
+
+these hooked, dark beaks at the tips of their
+mouths. Two owlbears come running in and go into
+
+an assault on these people. They took some hits in
+the last battle, and as it goes back and forth,
+
+you watch as they’re striking it and cutting
+through. The owlbears are screaming this horrible
+
+squeal of pain and anguish combined with ravenous
+anger, and they start tearing and pulling into
+
+them. One of them grabs the gnome in its beak,
+pulls up and tears its throat out. The gnome
+
+gurgles as it falls to the ground. The two clerics
+immediately come up to the side, getting ready to
+
+rush out there to try and save its life. Another
+one of them manages to hit one of the owlbears in
+
+its leg as it falls on the ground and they all
+start slashing on it. It looks like one owlbear is
+
+about to fall as the other one, in a complete
+frenzy either partnered or what, tears and grabs
+
+one of the dwarves and starts biting into its face
+as it screams, it falls unconscious on the ground.
+
+It grabs another, and bites into its chest,
+throwing it into the sky as they spin off to the
+
+side. As they all begin to pick up to assault the
+one that’s going after them, the one on the ground
+
+slowly gets back up and joins the fray. You watch
+one by one as these owlbears, on the cusp of
+
+dying, tear through the Mountain Makers.
+
+At which point, the crowd goes like (gasp) “Whoa!”
+Big cheers. Cheers because it’s a display, but
+
+also that mournful “Whoa”, that low bass-y sound.
+At which point you see the two groups come out
+
+again with the chains and the come up to the
+outskirts of the owlbears which then pass out, and
+
+they put the manacles on and then pull them away.
+
+TRAVIS: They pass out when the manacles go on?
+
+MATT: Right as they get up to them, they pass out.
+They pull them off, and drag them, the gates open
+
+wipe, the clerics rush out and grab and drag in
+the bodies. The gnome is gone but one of the
+
+clerics reaches over and touches him, and for a
+moment later (gasps) breath comes back and you
+
+watch the wound close up somewhat. Brought from
+death. As they pull the group in–
+
+LAURA: I need to learn that.
+
+MATT: The shout comes for the next group. “The
+Stubborn Stock returns!” and Darrow and his team
+
+rush out, giving a pat on the shoulder to Yasha on
+the rush out. They go out to the middle field, the
+
+gates close, and there, two of the gates open on
+the sides and you see these dark shapes kind of–
+
+(materialization noise)
+
+SAM: Oh, no.
+
+MATT: Almost skittering but shifting, their
+position seems hard to map. At which point you see
+
+Darrow glance on the side and he goes, “Oh no, I
+know what this is!” You watch as these large
+
+panther-like creatures with large tendrils off
+their back whipping begin rushing inward.
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) Displacer Beasts!
+
+MATT: One of them swings and strikes, but as he
+strikes it passes through and it all of a sudden
+
+shifts, and was not in the space where it blow and
+it pounces onto one of his adventurers. They begin
+
+to hack back and forth, crowding up around each
+other back to back, one of them is pulling out his
+
+longbow and letting loose arrow after arrow. Some
+striking, some missing. One of them all of a
+
+sudden the phase is lost, it gets struck, and now
+it is in a solid place. They use that moment for
+
+all of them to dash in and surround this one
+creature. They manage to, within one round, carve
+
+down this one displacer beast on one side, the
+other pouncing onto Darrow and holding him to the
+
+ground. Its back legs clawing into his belly as
+the others try and pull it off. Darrow takes a
+
+serious series of wounds before he manages to pull
+himself free. The displacer beast grabs another of
+
+its friends and snaps him in his face. He falls
+unconscious and whips around. They strike at it a
+
+few times, but they can’t seem to find where its
+body is. It is dodging around until finally Darrow
+
+is back up, his face covered in blood, takes his
+battle axe and swings wide and clocks it in the
+
+side of the jaw. Its strange illusion form
+vanishes at that point, its body coming to a very
+
+condensed location. They all swarm this one, and
+one by one tear it down for the next round.
+
+They’re hurt, their bruised, and Darrow’s looking
+rough, but with that the Stubborn Stock raise
+
+their hands “The Stubborn Stock, continues!” and
+the crowd cheers.
+
+LAURA: I was hoping they would lose.
+
+MATT: As they pull back in, the MC walks back out.
+“Two rounds completed, and only two teams remain
+
+for the third and final round, will they all fall?
+Will they all survive? We shall see as next, we
+
+call forth The Mighty Nein!” Any preparation you
+guys have in this moment as the doors begin to open?
+
+SAM: Everyone–
+
+TRAVIS: I’m tapped.
+
+SAM: Wait!
+
+MARISHA: I’m so tapped.
+
+SAM: Wait! What if we just stood next to all the
+doors and held our action until something came out
+
+of them?
+
+TALIESIN: Then they would be alone out there for
+like two rounds.
+
+SAM: What are you talking about?
+
+LAURA: Well we attack and then run to the middle.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus somebody’s going to be super danger
+close right off the bat.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but we get a hit in on them the second
+they came out.
+
+MARISHA: I’m kind of into it. I–
+
+TALIESIN: That seems like a terrible plan.
+
+SAM: Why is that a terrible idea?
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve got some super squishy people in
+here that won’t make it past–
+
+TALIESIN: We’re all one hit away from–
+
+LAURA: We might get a surprise attack on them.
+
+SAM: We would get a surprise round on them!
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think we would get–
+
+MARISHA: There’s only like four doors right?
+
+SAM: Yeah, so pick four people I’ll take one of
+them.
+
+MARISHA: Pick the less squishy?
+
+TRAVIS: All right, if that’s what you guys want to
+do.
+
+LAURA: Let’s do it.
+
+TALIESIN: I think it’s a terrible plan.
+
+MARISHA: It might be a terrible plan.
+
+SAM: Let’s do it!
+
+MARISHA: No, no, no, I’m kind of into it.
+
+ASHLEY: We could also try to get inside and get
+the chains because they are scared of those and–
+
+LIAM: I am snapping my fingers and bringing
+Frumpkin scarf-like around my neck, under my hood.
+
+Just to have him with me.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha–
+
+MATT: At this point the crowd’s cheering, “Mighty
+Nein! Mighty Nein! Mighty Nein!”
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: The doors are open, what are you guys
+doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll go take one of the doors.
+
+SAM: I’m taking a door.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m taking a fucking door.
+
+TRAVIS: For the record, I do not like this plan.
+
+SAM: I love it!
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t like it.
+
+MATT: Who’s going where?
+
+MARISHA: If we stay flanking somebody, anyone who
+runs away from us–
+
+ASHLEY: Oh that’s true, that’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe we can go, you want to take a
+door?
+
+MATT: How long does your illusion last?
+
+LAURA: Invoke Duplicity I think lasts for– I want
+to say an hour but I don’t know if it does.
+
+LIAM: I will stay with Fjord.
+
+SAM: I’ll take a door.
+
+MATT: Caleb’s going to stay with Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: You should get some distance.
+
+MARISHA: Yasha and I will take a door.
+
+SAM: Just pick me a door.
+
+MATT: Pick you a door? No, you get to pick, Nott.
+
+SAM: This one’s fine, it don’t matter.
+
+MATT: Right next to there.
+
+TRAVIS: Any ideas?
+
+TALIESIN: This is such a bad idea.
+
+TRAVIS: The idea is that whatever doors they come
+out of will get one surprise round and
+
+then whoever’s by those doors better be able to
+take some damage–
+
+MARISHA: Defend themselves, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t want to be near me. You should
+be in the middle, able to move.
+
+MATT: What are you doing, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m over there flanking with Beau.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go, with me and you Molly on
+the other door.
+
+TALIESIN: This is such a bad idea.
+
+SAM: (laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: This is going to be like two rounds to
+get to whoever–
+
+MATT: How long does Invoke Duplicity last?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to be alone for two full
+rounds with whatever this thing is.
+
+MARISHA: I’m fast as fuck.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, what if you’re there– what if it
+comes out of that door?
+
+LIAM: All right, this is how much time we have to
+plan in the moment as this is happening.
+
+TALIESIN: This is a terrible plan.
+
+MATT: Guys–
+
+MARISHA: Wait what are all the doors by-the-by?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, there are four doors right?
+
+MARISHA: There are four doors?
+
+TALIESIN: No, there’s one two–
+
+MATT: For one minute, so your Invoke Duplicity’s
+gone.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to hop up–
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if the map is accurate to how
+many doors there are–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Matt, can you please do us a favor
+and point out the doors?
+
+MATT: Right. One, two, the map is accurate to
+them, four–
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck that, no, no, no we’ve got to get in
+the middle. This is a terrible plan.
+
+MARISHA: There are five doors.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s too many doors.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no.
+
+MATT: Five doors. You guys exit from this one
+here.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to do the same thing and hop up
+on a wall like last time.
+
+SAM: Wait, we come in from one of the doors, so
+there’s only four.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you came in from this one.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s a good point.
+
+SAM: Yeah, there’s only four doors.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s those four others besides the one
+we came in?
+
+MATT: Four others beside you guys yeah.
+
+LIAM: This is about how well we do–
+
+MATT: Guys, quickly. Coming in, what are you
+doing?
+
+MARISHA: Four doors, four doors, I’m going to–
+I’m going to stay by Yasha.
+
+MATT: What’s your plan?
+
+MARISHA: Anything else I don’t care.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to hold my attack for the door
+that–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go to the opposite point
+from Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: No, no, we got to come in the center, we
+got to take advantage of the sentinels.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the point of the feat. We’re spread
+way too fucking thin.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, this is so bad.
+
+TRAVIS: Go back in the middle like we thought we
+were going to do.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to drop so fast.
+
+MATT: The crowd cheering dies down, what are you
+guys doing?
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. How about we take Sam’s
+similar approach, but we guard these four incidences.
+
+MATT: What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: Okay Yasha and I are going to move here,
+and guard these two.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go against the wall,
+against the back of that wall there.
+
+SAM: I stay where I am and I’m casting Mage Hand.
+
+LIAM: It is hard to walk on two legs, maybe four
+is better.
+
+SAM: Holding my attack!
+
+LAURA: I want to be on the other one.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott, you’re staying there?
+
+SAM: I’m staying and I’m holding my attack until
+something runs out of my door.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re staying there?
+
+SAM: I’m ready to shoot anything that comes out of
+this door.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to be at disadvantage
+because it’s going to be right next to you.
+
+LAURA: You’re too close.
+
+SAM: No, I’m not. I have a crossbow feat.
+
+ASHLEY: They won’t see him maybe they won’t–
+
+MATT: As the quiet has this stillness that’s come
+across the whole battlefield, every breath is
+
+being held. You all in your chaos, running around
+and trying to shout orders to each other, you all
+
+eventually come to settle in this place. (slow,
+heavy footfalls, roaring) All the doors come
+
+upward. Heavy, repeated footfalls hit, before
+bursting out of the far end, you see a Hill Giant
+
+come barreling through.
+
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: Knocking that pillar down, as it stands
+there in the center of the field, you see now its–
+
+TRAVIS: (shouting) My door, my door!
+
+MATT: It has these tiny little spines stuck into
+it, like it’s been agitated and pushed to a point
+
+of absolute rage and anger. It’s just roaring.
+
+SAM: I– I let my crossbow bolt go.
+
+MATT: All right, you release it?
+
+SAM: Just out into the– “Oh fuck!” No, not at it.
+Nope.
+
+MATT: All right, and this is where we’re going to
+pick up next week.
+
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: Because it’s 11 o'clock.
+
+TRAVIS: Two spines in the side.
+
+ASHLEY: Dang it! I want to fight it right now!
+
+MARISHA and MATT: I know.
+
+LIAM: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: I have no ki points.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my God.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be fun.
+
+SAM: That is a huge thing.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughter) My door!
+
+MARISHA: That’s good times.
+
+TALIESIN: Aren’t you glad you weren’t standing
+there by yourself for that?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: I mean–
+
+SAM: Would have gotten two hits in.
+
+MARISHA: You would have been fine.
+
+SAM: We’re just as far away from the thing.
+
+TALIESIN: You get one.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but there was two people standing next
+to that door.
+
+LAURA: No, there was just Fjord.
+
+SAM: At one point there was Fjord and Caleb.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, he moved.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb wussed out.
+
+SAM: If you had stuck to the plan, you would have
+gotten two hits, and we’re all just as far away as
+
+we were before.
+
+MATT: It’s true. We’re going to pick up next week
+at the start of this final round.
+
+LAURA: Oh, god.
+
+TALIESIN: It would have been three rounds before I
+could do any damage. Before it killed him.
+
+SAM: Well you shouldn’t have been that far away.
+
+TALIESIN: (shouting) It’s my door! Oh, my god.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, my god.
+
+MATT: Oh, man. This is going to be fun.
+
+TALIESIN: Overestimating the value of surprise.
+
+MATT: This is a very angry hill giant rushing
+towards you right now. Giant great club in its
+
+hand. It’s going to be fun. All right guys, we’ll
+pick this up next week. In the meantime, have a
+
+good week, thank you guys for watching, we love
+you very much. Check out on Tuesday Pillars of
+
+Eternity 2 coming out. Super excited about that.
+Once again thank you for D&D Beyond for being
+
+amazing, and all you guys for checking in. Have a
+wonderful week, and “Is it Thursday yet?” Good night.
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons. Before we jump in tonight, we
+
+have a few announcements we want to get through.
+First up, we have a birthday today, we have my
+
+wonderful wife, Marisha. It’s her birthday today!
+Happy birthday!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: Thank you, thank you. Thank you to my
+mother who birthed me. She should really be the
+
+one who’s getting thanked.
+
+LAURA: Yes, she really should.
+
+MARISHA: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Still alive, mom.
+
+SAM: Reenact it for us.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll leave that to Laura in a couple
+months.
+
+MATT: Happy birthday.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks.
+
+MATT: Next up, we have our two sponsors this
+evening. First–
+
+SAM: Two?
+
+MATT: Yes, two!
+
+SAM: I only prepared one. What’s happening?
+
+MATT: I’m doing the second one. You’re fine. But
+our first sponsor for the evening is our returning
+
+friends at D&D Beyond. Sam?
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond, everybody. (clears throat) D&D
+Beyond is our fabulous sponsor, they’re here every
+
+week. They put these things on our iPads– I mean,
+our tablet devices that help us track our stats
+
+and stuff, and they wanted us to let you know that
+this week, Matt Mercer’s gunslinger fighter
+
+subclass is now available on D&D Beyond. In the
+character builder, critters can begin creating
+
+their version of Percy right now on D&D Beyond.
+They actually already have started creating their
+
+own versions of Percy and loading it with the
+features that we’ve come love about Percy. I’ve
+
+compiled a list. It’s the Top Ten List of Percy
+Features Being Added on D&D! Everyone, a little,
+
+light drumroll if you could. Number ten: extra
+long, pompous names. Number nine: skin so white it
+
+claps on the ones and threes. Number eight: bags
+containing gunpowder and Victor fingers. Number
+
+seven: that feat where your dice always roll 20s
+even though they’re not cursed by a demonic
+
+ritual. Number six: blue hair dye! Number five:
+steampunk bifocals. Number four: giant bathtubs
+
+that comfortably hold a female half-elf under the
+water for 15 minutes. You can add these features
+
+to your Percy. Number three: throat bubbles.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Wow.
+
+(laughter continues)
+
+SAM: Number two: wit and tact.
+
+LIAM: Wait, what what what?
+
+SAM: Wit and tact. And the number one thing being
+added to the gunslinger class: knives.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. You guys can use the
+gunslinger fighter archetype as well as the new
+
+feat that goes along with it; that’s on there as
+well. Which anyone can take to learn firearms, be
+
+better at firearms, even if you’re not a
+gunslinger, so check that out on the app. Thank
+
+you guys at D&D Beyond for being awesome, and you
+for supporting them and us. Of course, our second
+
+sponsor for tonight, returning, our fun friends at
+Obsidian with Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire,
+
+which is finally out!
+
+LIAM: I know, it’s so exciting. It’s so good, it’s
+so pretty, it sounds so good, it plays so good.
+
+MATT: It’s really good.
+
+SAM: I got it working.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: That was the best response.
+
+SAM: I can move my guy now.
+
+MATT: I was there when he got that text, we just
+went (sputtering laughing). Oh my god.
+
+SAM: I looked it up on Google first.
+
+MATT: See, and he’s already a step above most
+people on the internet. Deadfire’s out, super
+
+excited, the voice sets and portraits of Vox
+Machina are in the game for free DLC, on PC. It’ll
+
+be out for console later this year. If MetaCritic
+doesn’t lie, it’s at 90 and climbing. I love it.
+
+I’m so excited, I’m so glad people enjoy it, and
+so glad we can be a part of it.
+
+LIAM: I played today and I just got my first dose
+of kaiju-god Taliesin, not regular-god Taliesin,
+
+kaiju-god Taliesin. It’s good.
+
+TALIESIN: I haven’t gotten there yet.
+
+MATT: Laura’s character and Marisha’s character in
+my party are starting to flirt and I’m like
+
+(nervous sound). I don’t know how I feel about
+that. Of course, I made Gilmore. Marisha’s
+
+character was flirting with me at first and I was
+like, “Nah, I got to shut this down, Gilmore’s not interested.”
+
+MARISHA: (laughter) That’s fair.
+
+MATT: At least you two are getting together.
+
+MARISHA: Just waiting for the other guys.
+
+MATT: I get enough of this in real life. Happy
+birthday. Also, we are heading back to GenCon,
+
+guys! Our tickets went on sale earlier this week
+for the live show in Indianapolis, you can find it
+
+on Ticketmaster. The official GenCon panel is sold
+out, but keep an eye on the GenCon website as
+
+tickets that are relinquished may become available
+as it goes on. They keep cycling through and as
+
+things become available, they’ll update it, so
+keep an eye. We’ll try and update you as soon as
+
+we hear anything beyond that. But holy shit.
+
+TRAVIS: If there are balcony seats for the live
+show, do not be afraid of them, because that
+
+balcony crew is raucous. Just being in that room
+while the live madness is going on is something to
+
+behold, so even if it’s the back, if you want to
+go, go.
+
+LAURA: It was a really fun group in the audience
+last time.
+
+SAM: I’m going to hide some stuff up there.
+
+LAURA: I like that.
+
+SAM: We’ll hide some stuff.
+
+MATT: Why does it smell so funky back here?
+
+TRAVIS: Why is there silly string coming out of
+the balcony?
+
+MATT: Scanlan strikes again. Looking forward to
+seeing a bunch of you guys at GenCon. In the past
+
+four weeks in our 826 initiative, we have raised
+over $50,000 from the community, which is then
+
+doubled by fantastic Mark K, we’ve made over
+$100,000 to 826, so we can not thank you guys
+
+enough for your amazing support. Huge thanks to
+critter Mark Koro, of course, for being our
+
+counter support for this, and being such an
+amazing member of the community. Thank you. Thanks
+
+to Wyrmwood Gaming and our friends at D&D Beyond
+for their amazing support for the campaign to get
+
+us where we are now. If you’d still like to
+donate, you can go to 826LA.org/criticalrole.
+
+We’ll have more information soon about the
+scheduling for my fireside chat, as well as the
+
+production crew Reddit AMA, and Marisha’s Honey
+Heist soon, so stay tuned.
+
+MARISHA: I need to start planning. Oh man.
+
+MATT: Indeed.
+
+MATT: Don’t forget Twitch Prime. (singing) If you
+have Amazon Prime you can connect it on your
+
+Twitch and subscribe to a channel for free, there
+you go.
+
+TRAVIS: That was a good jingle, actually.
+
+MATT: Thank you. I’ll remember it never. Critical
+Recap is available for those who have missed it
+
+before the episode and you’re watching this now
+and you didn’t see last episode. Why? But if you
+
+need to real fast, pause this, or later, or go and
+watch Critical Recap now, which our fantastic Dani
+
+Carr gets you up to speed of what happened in last
+week’s episode. It’s up on YouTube right now.
+
+Talks Machina is every Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific,
+where our fantastic Brian W. Foster hosts our sit
+
+down chat with members of the cast. This last week
+apparently was off the chain between Ashley and Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: Good times.
+
+MATT: When everyone cries from laughing, it’s a
+good night, apparently.
+
+LIAM: You face planted on the couch.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve never seen Foster sprout tears like
+that. That was amazing.
+
+ASHLEY: You know you’ve got him when he has
+projectile tears. It seems opposite of what should
+
+be happening.
+
+MATT: A special shout out to our friend,
+PulloutKing, from that episode.
+
+ASHLEY: PulloutKing, thanks for the laughs.
+
+MATT: We have new d20s restocked?
+
+LAURA: They’re not new, but older d20s
+
+SAM: They’re used d20s.
+
+LAURA: I’m pretty sure they’re the special edition
+ones. I haven’t looked at the store, they’re the
+
+red set, I think.
+
+MATT: The rare ones.
+
+LAURA: The ones that were available at our live
+shows before are in the store.
+
+TRAVIS: Laura, would you consider selling used
+dice that end up in the jail too often? Just
+
+offload some of that shit.
+
+SAM: I don’t think the store can handle that many.
+
+TALIESIN: I think if the dice know that they could
+go to a kinder, gentler home.
+
+LAURA: I think I may have enough dice to go to–
+one for each and every critter.
+
+LIAM: It’s funny, you go and try to pet her dice
+they shrink back, they shy away.
+
+(squeaking)
+
+LAURA: They’re like barnacles!
+
+MARISHA: Next charity drive we have you could
+auction a few.
+
+SAM: Charity drive?
+
+ASHLEY: I was like: barnacles! She already said
+that.
+
+SAM: Guys, the birthday girl is trying to talk.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry, never mind, it’s passed. No, I
+was thinking you could auction them off for
+
+charity next time, next charity drive.
+
+LAURA: I mean, yeah, charity.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I believe that’s the last of our
+announcements of the evening.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit. A fucking troll, you guys!
+
+MATT: Let’s bring it in for tonight’s episode of
+Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back. Oh my god. Welcome back. Last
+we left off: The Mighty Nein, upon clearing their
+
+names, making some new friendships in the city and
+taking some time for themselves in preparation for
+
+the coming Harvest Close festival, found
+themselves wandering through the streets of
+
+celebration. They partook in a number of various
+games of chance and skill, got some fine snacks
+
+and foods, challenged themselves, got thrown by
+their other party members, won some trinkets and
+
+toys, and then ended up signing up to the Victory
+Pit, the grand tournament that ends the Harvest
+
+Close festival. You managed to catch a few phrases
+off to the side of the initial lounge you were
+
+signing up in, where you discovered that war had
+been declared by the king on the eastern region of
+
+Xhorhas, that information was to be held back
+until the festival was over. You were held below
+
+with the other competing teams, and then one by
+one you were each presented into the center of the
+
+Victory Pit tournament where each of you has to
+battle a challenge of a creature or creatures in a
+
+three-tiered structure. Whoever survives all three
+bouts gets to share in the final pot prize.
+
+Currently two of the other teams have been knocked
+out, and it only remains to be you and one other.
+
+You guys are up first. You’re pulled into the
+center and announced as The Mighty Nein’s final
+
+round. Knowing the Stubborn Stock is watching from
+behind the distant doorways that lead into the
+
+central arena, you all scattered about the sands
+as the sun begins to get close to dusk, shouting
+
+out your various plans and then abandoning them
+last minute. You found places as these heaping,
+
+heavy thuds start quaking the ground in arrival
+before the door swings open. Out from behind it,
+
+roaring, a frenzied, angry hill giant, complete
+with pierced thorns jammed into each side of the
+
+body to drive it to a point of absolute anger and
+fury, comes bashing into the center of the arena,
+
+knocks over one of the large pillars, and this is
+where we begin. I need everyone to roll initiative.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s try and talk to it.
+
+LIAM: Just wear him down.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s try and talk to him.
+
+MARISHA: Almost a natural 20. Almost a 20!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s mildly adequate.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+SAM: 23.
+
+LIAM: 20.
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+LAURA: 19.
+
+TRAVIS: (sobbing) No, far too calm.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: 14.
+
+TRAVIS: Which one of you wants to go first?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take it.
+
+TALIESIN: I should take it because for now.
+
+MARISHA: Molly’ll take it.
+
+TALIESIN: Make your life a little easier because I
+can keep disadvantage for your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Sure, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Eight. What’d you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: Six. The fun buns!
+
+LAURA: Brought it back.
+
+MATT: All righty, friends. It finishes slamming
+the large pillar into the ground and wields its
+
+giant club over one shoulder, its other hand
+reaching out for something and glancing over the
+
+field to see what its quarry is. Nott, you’re up
+first.
+
+SAM: Is the giant in melee? Would I get sneak
+attack damage or no? He’s not engaged with anybody
+
+right now.
+
+MATT: Right now, Fjord, you’re hiding back there.
+I think I shifted it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: No, he is not currently engaged.
+
+SAM: Okay, then I will shriek and I will run
+towards Beau, full sprint.
+
+ASHLEY: Full sprint ahead.
+
+LAURA: Oh god, just right in it already. We’re
+just right in it.
+
+MATT: By the way, guys, this finally came in
+today.
+
+LAURA: What is that?
+
+SAM: It’s north, east, west, south.
+
+MATT: So you know where the north is, so you can
+use that.
+
+LAURA: Shut up. That’s so cool.
+
+MARISHA: Which way’s north, by the way?
+
+MATT: This way.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, thank you.
+
+MATT: The people who do Campaign Coins make that
+now. Our friend, Deven Rue, who did our map for
+
+the show, she’s the one who designed it. I’ve been
+waiting for it to come in. That’s a point for you
+
+guys, if you ever want to shout directions at me
+of where you want to run, that’s helpful.
+
+LAURA: I love it.
+
+MATT: You ran, full sprint towards Jester.
+
+SAM: Sneak attack damage is so good, but I can’t.
+That thing can see me, I’m scared. I’m scared,
+
+guys! I’m going to fire my crossbow. Ooh, it’s a
+two, it misses. I’m super scared.
+
+MATT: It arcs off, you hear this distant (yelp) in
+the audience way away.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say, what was the number?
+Because that thing’s got to have a low AC. What’s
+
+the actual number?
+
+SAM: Oh yeah, probably. Eight.
+
+MATT: Yeah, no.
+
+LAURA: He’s got thick skin, I think.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s a pretty hardy physicality even
+if it’s a broad target to hit.
+
+SAM: Then I will run back the way I came.
+
+MATT: Same place you were before?
+
+SAM: No, like behind Yasha, behind that pillar
+over there, that wall.
+
+LAURA: You said that’s north?
+
+MATT: This is north here.
+
+LAURA: Towards you.
+
+SAM: North always points to the star.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I see this giant behemoth and I start
+backing up to go west around the stone, under my
+
+breath singing: We are the Mighty Nein, the Mighty
+Nein, the Mighty Nein. And fire off a Fire Bolt as
+
+I sneak behind it.
+
+MATT: You’re darting around the side.
+
+LIAM: No, that is no good. That is a 13.
+
+MATT: 13 just hits.
+
+SAM: Okay, not too hard to hit.
+
+MARISHA: 13 just hits, good to know.
+
+MATT: It’s a big target but it’s pretty hardy.
+
+LIAM: That is a one.
+
+MATT: One point of fire damage. It hits and goes
+(splat). It’s less of a Fire Bolt and more of a
+
+fire (fizzle). You see there’s a patch on its
+rather furry belly that no longer has hair. It’s
+
+very glaring.
+
+LIAM: Ja. I am leaning, crouching against that
+stone, hands on the wall, just listening and
+
+working on keeping my gourd from rising.
+
+MATT: Okay, good to know. Jester, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+SAM: Yeah, you so badly want to.
+
+LAURA: I mean, I want to so bad. I want to use my
+Spiritual Weapon!
+
+MATT: Then use it!
+
+LAURA: Okay, well, I will. I’m going to hold my
+symbol in my hand and do like this because I’ve
+
+seen Caleb do fancy things, and then I’m going to
+make it.
+
+MATT: Where would you like to place it?
+
+LAURA: Right above his face!
+
+MATT: (counting) 30 is where you can make it
+appear.
+
+LAURA: Really close to his face.
+
+MATT: Let me see what the range is on it. What’s
+the range on the spell?
+
+LAURA: I’m looking. 60!
+
+MATT: 60! Yeah, you can do it, right over.
+
+LAURA: Directly in front of his face, flat side
+facing him, and then just poof!
+
+MATT: Roll for attack, go for it. As Jester
+releases her grip, this giant, heavy-looking but
+
+gorgeous glittering lollipop apparates out of the
+air, streaking down towards the goblin’s face. Not
+
+the goblin, the ogre’s– giant’s face. It’s been a
+week.
+
+LAURA: 16!
+
+MATT: 16 hits, roll damage.
+
+LAURA: That slipped out of my hand. It doesn’t
+count if it slips out of your hand. Ten points of
+
+damage! That’s my bonus. For my actual thing, can
+I do a cantrip?
+
+MATT: Yes, you can.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! I’m going to Sacred Flame him! He’s
+got to roll dexterity over 14.
+
+MATT: He rolled a 14, but has minus one dex.
+
+SAM: Look at you, you’re a killer.
+
+LAURA: I’m a monster! Eight! Radiant damage.
+
+MATT: Wunderbar. That finishes your turn,
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: Yes. The spiritual weapon’s right here, on
+his face.
+
+MATT: You got it.
+
+ASHLEY: He’s blinded now.
+
+MATT: Now it’s the giant’s turn. After being
+slammed in the face with this lollipop and the
+
+flames, is like (angry grunting). Ducks out of the
+way as it slams down on its head, grabs the side
+
+of the pillar, which breaks. The pillar, as it
+fell over, shattered into four or five pieces,
+
+grabs and picks up a single piece. The only one
+that it paid attention to right now is the one
+
+that lit its stomach on fire. It takes this thing
+and lobs it in your direction.
+
+LIAM: I’m behind the stone pressed to the back of
+it though, presently, correct?
+
+MATT: You do have cover. It’s three-quarters
+cover. What’s your armor class, currently?
+
+LIAM: It is at 14 at the moment.
+
+MATT: That adds plus five to your AC, so it’s 19
+on this attack. That’s still a 21 to hit though,
+
+so it still hits you. 13 plus eight, sorry.
+
+LIAM: Well bring it on, here we go.
+
+MATT: As this chunk of the pillar goes flying
+across the arena towards you, it hits the top of
+
+the wall, which breaks, and a good foot and a half
+section of it, shatters as it slams into your chest.
+
+LIAM: What did it do, it did to 19? I can do a
+reaction, can’t I?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+LIAM: I cast Shield.
+
+MATT: All right! There you go. As you see it slam
+into the wall above you and go swinging, you throw
+
+up the shield and all of a sudden there’s a spark
+of arcane energy as it gets deflected inches off
+
+of the top of Caleb’s head before slamming into
+the side of the actual tournament arena, hitting
+
+the stone, causing it to crack, and people in the
+front area (gasp).
+
+LIAM: What did he roll?
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: 21.
+
+LIAM: Still hits. Because that only gets me up to
+19.
+
+MATT: You were 19 because you had three-quarters
+cover, because you were behind the wall. You had
+
+14 plus five because you were behind–
+
+LIAM: Okay, good.
+
+MATT: At this moment, the absolute fear kicks into
+his eyes. The entity is going to charge forward.
+
+Right at that point, it stops and turns and sees,
+out of the corner of its eye, Fjord hiding behind
+
+the wall. That’s going to be its turn. Molly,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Turn into water!
+
+TRAVIS: (blubbing sounds) Surprise, bitches!
+
+LAURA: Who’s up?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m up. How dumb do I feel like being?
+
+LAURA: I feel like I’m already sweating.
+
+ASHLEY: I forgot to go to the bathroom. I’m
+wiggling.
+
+TALIESIN: If it’s turned towards Fjord, then I’m
+going to run around to the opposite side of it.
+
+MATT: Okay, to there? Is it for flanking bonus?
+
+TALIESIN: For flanking bonus. I’m going to take
+two slices into his leg.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Two shots in his leg!
+
+TALIESIN: See, I didn’t do it, and then you just
+went ahead and did it. I’m working so hard not to
+
+do it. What’s the flanking bonus, by the way?
+
+MATT: We’ve used it occasionally, but it works
+against you guys as well. If you manage to get
+
+directly across from a creature with an ally in
+melee, you get advantage on the attack.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, so this is advantage on the
+attack.
+
+MATT: You were ranged last campaign so it didn’t
+come into play very often.
+
+TALIESIN: No, not very often. I was trying to
+remember. I’m not feeling good about that one.
+
+Here we are. That’s a 25 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TALIESIN: I assume I don’t get the extra bonus for
+radiant.
+
+MATT: No, he’s not undead.
+
+TALIESIN: (counting) Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage for the first
+strike.
+
+TALIESIN: Then the next one is a natural 20!
+That’s 14 points of damage.
+
+MATT: The first strike you carve up alongside its
+blubbery, thick belly that’s flipping over this
+
+piece of cloth that it has matted around its
+midsection. As you cut through, it buckles a
+
+little bit on that one side of the leg and you use
+that moment to cut behind its thigh, right down
+
+below where the Achilles tendon is. As you cut
+across, blood spatters across the sand and (yelling).
+
+TALIESIN: All right!
+
+MATT: That’s your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m holding.
+
+MATT: He’s going to use a legendary action.
+
+LAURA: A legendary?! He’s legendary?!
+
+MATT: He’s a frenzied solo, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s a frenzied solo? What does that
+mean?
+
+MATT: He’s going to go ahead and use his Furious
+Smash.
+
+TALIESIN: Is he going to attack me?
+
+MATT: He’s going to attack, yeah, for slashing
+him.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m definitely using Blood Maledict
+then, at full use. That was not good, that was
+
+bad. All right, that’s all right.
+
+MATT: Okay, so he has disadvantage on the attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, and the next one.
+
+MATT: That’s still a 13 plus eight.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: As you slam and slice into the back of the
+leg, he angrily turns back and swings down towards
+
+you and his eyes go black. There’s a brief shake,
+it’s still a massive club and you try to move out
+
+of the way but it’s too fast, slamming onto you,
+knocking you onto the ground. Your wind is knocked
+
+out of you and your whole world goes dazed and
+white for a moment. This is going to be 26 points
+
+of bludgeoning damage.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m out.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+TRAVIS: Wow! Fuck! Yes! Oh man!
+
+SAM: You wanted to.
+
+LAURA: I underestimated the amount of damage he
+would do to us.
+
+MATT: That was a really good damage roll. It
+reactively slams into Molly with the club. As the
+
+dust settles, Molly is not moving on the ground,
+probably pushed about an inch or two into the dirt
+
+and sand. There’s a crater where the head of the
+club had impacted, and Molly is not moving.
+
+LIAM: That really hurt, Charlie!
+
+MATT: Beau, your turn.
+
+LAURA: His name is Charlie.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I feel like this has changed the
+plan that I had.
+
+SAM: Her plan was to hit Molly. It was a weird
+plan.
+
+TALIESIN: He has disadvantage on his next attack
+as well.
+
+MARISHA: Fjord, I feel like I should get up
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just saying, this is a last man
+standing kind of thing.
+
+MARISHA: You’re the only one there.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s okay. Think of the team!
+
+MARISHA: All right. Just this one time, though.
+I’m going to throw a throwing star.
+
+MATT: You’re going to throw a throwing star? Okay,
+go ahead.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Happy birthday to me! Well,
+that was the world’s shittiest die roll, though.
+
+No wait, I only get 1d4, right? It’s just a d4 plus
+my bonus?
+
+MATT: It’s 1d4 times two, plus your bonus.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, sorry. That’s a better roll.
+(counting) Ten damage?
+
+MATT: Okay, ten damage!
+
+TALIESIN: Way too happy about that ten damage.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t get another one, right? It’s just
+one action.
+
+MATT: No, because unarmed attack, it’s for the
+outside, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, and I’m going to move.
+
+MATT: You throw one of these spindly jagged star
+darts on the side. You throw it through the air
+
+and it sinks into its stomach. You don’t even see
+where it impacted except for a small red line
+
+where it’s beginning to bleed from where it carved
+into its belly.
+
+MARISHA: I hit him! Then that’s it, that’s my
+turn.
+
+MATT: You’re going to stay there?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to stay there.
+
+MATT: That finishes Beau’s turn, Fjord, you’re
+up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to use my bonus action to cast
+Hexblade’s Curse on this giant. Hyuck Hyuck! I’m
+
+going to summon my Wastehunter falchion,
+two-handed, and I’m going to cut into his thigh.
+
+LAURA: Isn’t your Hex still up from the last game,
+too?
+
+TRAVIS: No. It was up until the second round and
+then that was it.
+
+TALIESIN: Also does that mean that his reaction
+has been burned by the legendary action? Is the
+
+legendary action a separate thing from–
+
+MATT: Legendary actions are different from
+reactions.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, so he’s still got a reaction.
+Just checking.
+
+TRAVIS: 25.
+
+MATT: That hits. As the large falchion appears,
+curved and jagged, you see this splash of seawater across
+
+the side of the giant as its eyes are now set back
+on Fjord. At this point, the curse sets in, the
+
+blood spatters on the ground begin to come up into
+these black forms and adhere to his legs.
+
+TRAVIS: 13 points of damage plus two for the
+Hexblade’s Curse.
+
+MATT: 15, nice.
+
+TRAVIS: With my speed, I’m going to run to the
+north as far as 30 will carry me.
+
+LAURA: He’s going to hit you.
+
+TRAVIS: I know, he’s going to hit me next turn
+anyway.
+
+MATT: 30 will get you there, and he gets an attack of
+opportunity against you. As you strike it in the side
+
+and you go to run, you get a fair distance, but the
+reach with that club is just far enough where it
+
+doesn’t necessarily need it. As you go charging
+forward– he has disadvantage because of that.
+
+That makes it a 13.
+
+TRAVIS: Armor class 15!
+
+MATT: You hear the (booming) from behind as it
+slams into the ground. The earth leaves your foot
+
+for a second and you land again. You make your way
+to the edge. Well done, that ends your turn. That
+
+brings us to Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I make it over east? Let’s go east,
+near his butt. How far can I get?
+
+MATT: You can get there.
+
+LAURA: Hit him in his butt!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to hit him in the arse with the
+Magician’s Judge. Reckless.
+
+MATT: Reckless? Go for it.
+
+ASHLEY: 15.
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+LAURA: Does that mean he’s going to get advantage
+on you now?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: But wait, you get to dispel magic!
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit, that’s so bad.
+
+MATT: Double ones.
+
+TRAVIS: Are they really? Double unos?
+
+ASHLEY: Double unos. Five points of damage!
+
+MATT: As you go rushing by, you weren’t paying
+attention for the last impact, and you see out of
+
+the corner your eye Molly in the ground, jammed
+in and unconscious, bleeding out, and that’s just
+
+enough, being not in an enraged state, to
+viscerally affect you and shakes you just enough
+
+for you to swing the blade. It hits the leg, but
+it wasn’t enough actual impact to carve into the flesh.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Yasha. Nott, you’re
+up.
+
+SAM: (sighs) Do we heal, or do we get this guy?
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t heal. Hit him.
+
+SAM: No, I mean Molly.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck Molly!
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll clock around the corner and
+fire off a shot.
+
+MARISHA: He has potentially three rounds until he
+dies.
+
+TRAVIS: I love Molly, but fuck.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t.
+
+SAM: 20 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. You can roll damage.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: He is adjacent to Yasha, so it is sneak
+attack damage.
+
+SAM: Ew, terrible.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god! What’s with these rolls!?
+
+ASHLEY: We’re going to die.
+
+LAURA: No, don’t say it.
+
+ASHLEY: We’re going to live.
+
+SAM: Nine points of damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Not as convincing.
+
+MATT: Hey it adds up, guys. It’s cool. As you duck
+around the corner, you release the bolt. It sinks
+
+into the chest area and looks around in the direction
+trying to find you. You still have 20 feet of
+
+movement.
+
+MARISHA: You don’t have Healing Word or anything
+anymore?
+
+SAM: No, I’m not a–
+
+LAURA: Nobody has.
+
+MATT: It’s not a rogue thing, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: You can perform one of these (mumbling) use a
+bonus action to control the hand. Fuck. Okay, I
+
+can’t cast Mage Hand as a bonus action with
+Legerdemain or whatever, right? I can only use it.
+
+Okay, then I will fire again, why not? Natural
+20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: So casual, that’s a good–
+
+LAURA: Ah!
+
+SAM: Does that double my dice?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: Plus that’s 16 points of damage.
+
+LAURA: Nice.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+MATT: The first one hit, and he starts growling,
+and looks right in your direction. You go
+
+(screams), fire a second one that goes right into
+one of its eyes and starts roaring. It gets caught
+
+right up inside. It doesn’t quite pierce the
+eyeball, but it gets up into the socket.
+
+LAURA: (groans) That would suck so hard.
+
+MATT: It’s scratching at its face angrily.
+
+LAURA: Good thing he’s already frenzied.
+
+SAM: Then movement to clock right back around that
+corner of the–
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+SAM: Yeah, of the structure. Yeah, right there.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s your turn, Nott.
+
+SAM: Yep.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I was considering going out there, but I’m
+not going to do it. I’m going to bend around the
+
+side and fire off another Fire Bolt at it. At
+Charlie. That is a 12 to hit.
+
+MATT: That does not hit, unfortunately. It just
+misses. As you see once again, Molly on the ground
+
+and Yasha barely making an impact. Nott gets a
+couple good hits off, and you try to fire.
+
+Unfortunately, as he pulls back to grasp the face,
+the Fire Bolt goes wide past where the head
+
+previously was.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m going to use my movement to back
+up behind that column.
+
+MATT: There?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: That would put you about there. That ends
+your turn, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Molly, I’ll get you as soon as he
+moves. Okay? So that he doesn’t hit me. Okay?
+
+TALIESIN: (humming)
+
+SAM: (strained) I’m dead.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to move Spiritual Weapon around,
+and I’m going to use this side. I’m going to smack
+
+him right in his funny bone.
+
+MATT: Okay. As the hand is grasping at where it
+got shot in the eye, it goes right for the back of
+
+the elbow.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! That hits. Then 1d8 plus four. That’s
+cocked. Yeah! 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes!
+
+MATT: As it hits, (impact) (pained groan) He’s
+shaking the hand as it’s going numb. The one eye
+
+is half shut. Going (pained groans).
+
+LAURA: While he’s shaking it off, I’m going to use
+my bonus action to Toll the Dead!
+
+MATT: You mean your action. Because you already
+used your bonus action.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my action to Toll the
+Dead!
+
+SAM: I was thinking about you.
+
+LAURA: He’s going to have to roll a wisdom of 14.
+
+MATT: Wisdom of 14. Natural 19, sorry.
+
+LIAM: (farcical Czech accent) Two wild and crazy
+clerics.
+
+LAURA: Bullshit. So he saw me. I’m going to jump
+down behind, north side. Northwest side, right in
+
+the corner there. I’m going to go (small squeak)
+and try to not get hit.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. It’s now the giant’s
+turn. As Yasha has just torn into the side, it’s
+
+going to turn back to you and is going to double
+club attack you.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: It has advantage on each.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s so true.
+
+MATT: Because she did Reckless.
+
+ASHLEY: Because I did Reckless like a ding-dong.
+
+LAURA: So every attack against you is–
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I’m dumb.
+
+MATT: The first one is a 25.
+
+ASHLEY: Well that definitely hits. I’m probably
+going to be unconscious.
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MATT: Natural 20, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no.
+
+MATT: The first hit is–
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know why I did Reckless. I’m
+learning, I should have waited.
+
+MATT: 23 points of damage, bludgeoning damage,
+from the first hit. (whack) You put your hands up,
+
+and you put the blade up to catch it, it slams
+into it and pulls the shoulder out of the socket
+
+and pushes you down into the dirt. As you push
+off, the club goes up once more and then (whack).
+
+LAURA: 23 was not the critical.
+
+SAM: Not the critical?!
+
+TALIESIN: That was not the critical.
+
+SAM: She could be perma-dead right now.
+
+MATT: I rolled an eight, seven, and a five.
+That’s–
+
+ASHLEY: Am I perma-dead?
+
+MATT: That’s 43 points of damage.
+
+ASHLEY: How many?
+
+MATT: 43.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: What’s your total?
+
+LIAM: What’s your max?
+
+LAURA: She’s got 40 something hit points.
+
+MATT: You have to go negative your max score.
+
+TALIESIN: Which you do not do.
+
+LAURA: Which you don’t do.
+
+TALIESIN: So you’re just unconscious.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m just unconscious.
+
+SAM: Just super-duper unconscious.
+
+TRAVIS: That was pretty close, I think.
+
+ASHLEY: Is that right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Whoa.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re out.
+
+LAURA: You’re just unconscious.
+
+MATT: With the second slam, Yasha partially
+deflects the first impact and then vanishes in the
+
+second one. Right there next to Molly, as the dust
+clears, you see Yasha, unmoving, her legs up in
+
+the air, as the rest of her torso is pushed down
+into the dirt, and the rest of the ground is
+
+covered over, where you can see the back of her
+shoulders, and the back of her head, and the rest
+
+of it is dust settling. She’s not moving either.
+
+LAURA: Shit. You came close to perma-death.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, but not. That almost–
+
+TRAVIS: (laughs) J-E-L-L-O!
+
+MARISHA: I’m watching people get squashed in front
+of me. Freaking kill box.
+
+LAURA: Were you still big, too?
+
+LIAM and ASHLEY: No.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s a quick thing.
+
+MATT: I think at this point– yeah, because you’re
+the one who shot it twice in the eye, and it saw
+
+you duck behind. (counting)
+
+TRAVIS: Stick and move.
+
+MARISHA: That’s my thing.
+
+MATT: You watch as it steps over the wall. “Tiny
+thing!” After it smashes Yasha, it doesn’t even
+
+care anymore and there’s a little bit of foam at
+the corner of the mouth. The blood’s trailing down
+
+its face from where the bolt entered. That’s going
+to end the giant’s turn. Molly, you’re up. Molly?
+
+Molly.
+
+LIAM: Tal.
+
+MARISHA: Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah?
+
+MATT: Molly, make a death saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I don’t have to. I get shocked from
+my– the chest. The heart locket sparks and–
+
+MATT: Oh, that’s right.
+
+TRAVIS: The what?
+
+SAM: What, you’re back up?
+
+LAURA: He bought that locket.
+
+MATT: What are the effects of the locket again?
+
+TALIESIN: What?
+
+MATT: What are the effects of the locket again?
+
+TALIESIN: Ready for this? It’s really cool.
+
+LIAM: Full HP.
+
+TALIESIN: No. When you wear this pendant, you
+stabilize whenever you are dying at the start of
+
+your turn. In addition, whenever you roll hit dice
+to regain hit points, the number of hit points–
+
+MATT: Yeah. So you stabilize. You’re still
+unconscious.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m unconscious, but I’m breathing.
+
+MATT: But you’re not bleeding out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just (deep breath).
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+LAURA: Yasha, however–
+
+MATT: Beau, your turn.
+
+MARISHA: He’s looking at Nott pretty hard?
+
+MATT: Yeah. He’s ready to smash the little
+goblin.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, Beau is going to run and flank with
+Nott over here onto also the northwest side.
+
+MATT: Over there? Flanking would be on the
+opposite side.
+
+MARISHA: I have to be on the opposite side.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you’ll get advantage.
+
+MARISHA: No, I want to go in front of him, where I
+can get his attention. The northwest side.
+
+MATT: Right here?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’m going to point at his dick, and
+I’m going to go: Tiny thing! Then for my action,
+
+I’m going to take the dodge action.
+
+MATT: Okay, so your bonus action is to say “Tiny
+thing.”
+
+MARISHA: Huh?
+
+MATT: Your bonus action is to say “Tiny thing”
+towards his dick.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I say: Tiny thing! You tiny thing!
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make an intimidation check.
+
+MARISHA: To insult his penis size?
+
+MATT: Yes, that is exactly what you’re doing.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: You have to intimidate his dick.
+
+TRAVIS: That didn’t–
+
+MATT and LAURA: It landed.
+
+MARISHA: Well, it’s a natural one. Well, the
+second one was a one. First one was an eight.
+
+Neither were good.
+
+MATT: He seems to think you’re agreeing with him
+with regards to Nott. “I know! Tiny thing!”
+
+MARISHA: So I didn’t get his attention?
+
+MATT: No. That’s your turn. Fjord, you’re up.
+You’re in the middle of the field and you see both
+
+Yasha and Molly crushed into the ground. This
+little lollipop is (flittering) in the air
+
+behind.
+
+TRAVIS: Lovely. Yeah, I’m going to use Eldritch
+Blast. Shoot across the arena, 120 feet. Try and
+
+hit him.
+
+MATT: All right. You move into the space here?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You can see him over the wall.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a 16 plus six, 22.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 12 plus two, 14 points of Eldritch
+Blast damage.
+
+MATT: Nice! That’s a good hit. (impact) Off the
+side of the shoulder. You can watch where the
+
+section, where the skin used to be is now exposed
+muscle. Where it’s burned off, the outer layer of
+
+the body.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I use the rest of my speed to move
+behind the column, so that I’m hiding behind the
+
+column?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Was that with the Hex?
+
+MATT: With the additional Hex damage, right?
+
+SAM: Hex damage?
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+MATT: That was with the additional damage from
+the–
+
+TRAVIS: With the additional d6, yeah.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. Yasha, I need you to
+make a death saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Do I add anything?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+ASHLEY: A seven.
+
+MATT: That’s a fail. You failed your first death
+saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: (gasps) Okay.
+
+MATT: At the end of Yasha’s turn, the giant is
+going to use his legendary action. He has one
+
+legendary action. Trying to do a club attack
+against you, Nott.
+
+MARISHA: No!
+
+LAURA: He has only one legendary action for the
+whole fight?
+
+MATT: Once every round.
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MATT: That’s a 19. What’s your armor class?
+
+SAM: That hits.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sorry. I should have been more
+explicit about his insulting his penis size.
+
+MATT: 19 points of bludgeoning damage.
+
+SAM: Yikes.
+
+MATT: As it slams down, it hits you, and pushes
+you into the wall. You’re flattened against the
+
+stone which quakes. On the opposite side of it, it
+cracks and (stones scattering) off the back. You
+
+hear this squeak sound as Nott is crushed between
+the club and the wall.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll kill him! Not Nott.
+
+SAM: It didn’t work.
+
+TALIESIN: You have to hit the confirm button.
+
+SAM: Damn it. Okay, that’s not good.
+
+MATT: It’s your turn.
+
+SAM: My turn?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: I will look up at the giant man who just hit
+me and I will take out a tiny piece of pastry and
+
+let it crumble to the ground and look up at him
+with fear in my voice say: Why don’t– (sighs) why
+
+don’t goblins eat court jesters? Because they
+taste funny.
+
+MATT: He looks very confused in the middle of his
+foaming frenzy.
+
+LAURA: Behind the wall I start laughing.
+
+MATT: “Jester?”
+
+SAM: I will cast Tasha’s Hideous Laughter.
+
+MATT: Oh, shit. (laughs) What’s the save on that?
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: But what is it? Is it wisdom?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: That is a natural 17 minus one, 16.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Shit.
+
+SAM: Why isn’t this working?
+
+ASHLEY: He’s rolling well.
+
+LAURA: He’s rolling really well.
+
+MATT: I’m rolling really well. I’m so sorry,
+guys.
+
+SAM: Can I please get the changes to take? Yes,
+okay. Okay, that sucks. I will bonus action
+
+disengage!
+
+LAURA: Yay! Run away really far.
+
+SAM: I will run away! Just the maximum amount of
+running away I can do which is only 30 feet.
+
+Towards Caleb, to the north and if I can get
+behind that pillar.
+
+LAURA: Don’t group!
+
+MATT: You can get there.
+
+LAURA: Don’t group up.
+
+SAM: Other side, possibly?
+
+MATT: If you wanted to go around that way, you
+could.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: We’ll say yeah. That’ll put you right there.
+Okay, that ends your turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: This is a long shot, but I have no way of
+damaging him. I’m going to pull out some sand out
+
+of my pocket and mutter a few arcane words and trail
+it in front of me and cast Sleep back behind him
+
+here so it does not touch Beauregard.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll your 5d8.
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: Go for it and tell me what the total is.
+
+LIAM: Ja, I know. This is probably not going to
+work, but I can’t hurt him. Fuck. Good, better.
+
+23.
+
+MATT: 23? You watch as the large giant, (groans)
+(slower groan).
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+MATT: Steps back and hits the pillar behind him.
+It cracks and tilts to the side. Catches him
+
+(grunts). Falls to both knees and eventually hits
+the ground. This loud, heavy snore.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit!
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Do we win?
+
+MATT: He’s just unconscious.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but does that mean we win? He’s on
+the ground!
+
+MATT: You shout this out?
+
+MARISHA: Huh?
+
+MATT: You’re shouting this out as this is
+happening?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Do we win?!
+
+MATT: They’re all waiting for a moment.
+
+SAM: Go heal Yasha!
+
+LAURA: Oh, we have to wait, it’s like turns.
+
+MATT: No one’s called the match yet.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+SAM: Go heal Yasha!
+
+LAURA: It’s my turn now.
+
+MATT: It is your turn, yes.
+
+LIAM: We’re going round by round?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Don’t touch the giant.
+
+MATT: Any movement, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I will start moving towards Molly and
+Yasha as far as I can get. I call out, medium
+
+volume, not to the crowd but to my friends: That
+wasn’t even supposed to work.
+
+TRAVIS: Sand.
+
+MARISHA: You did good, Sandman.
+
+MATT: Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to run over to Yasha.
+
+MATT: (counting) You can’t quite get there.
+
+LAURA: Shit. Could I have reached Molly?
+
+MATT: You could have reached Molly, yes.
+
+LAURA: Okay, then I’ll go to Molly first. Sorry,
+Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s okay.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to–
+
+MATT: Well, actually if you were here, you could
+have gotten to there.
+
+LAURA: I could have gotten to Yasha? Okay, then
+I’m going to– because she’s dying. I’m going to
+
+use Cure Wounds on her. My last spell, y'all. That
+is 1d8.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s all right, you’re going to wake up,
+and you’re going to fucking go apeshit.
+
+LAURA: Ten points of healing for you.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take it. Oh, thank you.
+
+I add that here?
+
+LAURA: And you’re up! Then for my bonus action,
+I’m going to send my Spiritual– oh, no.
+
+SAM: You can do whatever you want.
+
+LAURA: No, I can’t– if I touch him, he wakes up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, don’t touch him.
+
+SAM: You can get it over there.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to bring my Spiritual
+Weapon over to him.
+
+MATT: You can move it 20 feet there.
+
+LAURA: I can move it 60 feet.
+
+MATT: Well, the range is 60 feet, but as a bonus
+action it moves 20.
+
+LAURA: I see, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s why I was like, get it closer.
+
+MATT: Next, the giant’s turn. It stays unconscious
+for the duration until something hits it. Yeah, so
+
+it’s a minute.
+
+LIAM: Until we touch it, so we need to get in a
+Goodfellas circle around it to decide who’s going
+
+to beat the shit out of him, and don’t touch it
+before that moment.
+
+LAURA: We have a whole minute?
+
+LIAM: Caleb says. Yeah.
+
+MATT: Potentially, guys, here, figure out what
+your plan is until someone touches it.
+
+LAURA: I can heal Molly while that’s going on,
+then.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to give Molly a healing
+potion.
+
+TRAVIS: He doesn’t roll to wake up or anything?
+
+MATT: No, he doesn’t. He stabilizes.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to move back by where Fjord is
+right now, behind that column.
+
+MARISHA: Me and you take the head, maybe we can–
+
+MATT: Moving which one?
+
+LIAM: Stand me by Fjord, to the north.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m going to take a healing potion.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: 2d4, I think I roll it.
+
+TALIESIN: Does she roll the healing potion if I
+take it, or do I roll it?
+
+MATT: It doesn’t matter who rolls it, really.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, because I was curious if my locket
+gives me– does it count as my hit dice or no?
+
+MATT: Well, healing potion isn’t hit dice. Hit
+dice is only when you’re taking a short rest.
+
+LAURA: That’s good. Seven plus two, so nine points
+of healing.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you, Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+LAURA: You’re welcome, I’m sorry it’s kind of a
+weak thing, though.
+
+ASHLEY: I give her an awkward side hug.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Thank you. I give you a big waist
+hug back.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to crawl behind there, and at
+the very least I can–
+
+MATT: Behind where?
+
+TALIESIN: To the west, behind that rock right
+there. I can, at the very least, keep trying to
+
+give him disadvantage on at least one attack.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go northeast.
+
+MATT: Where, like over here?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Anybody else?
+
+MARISHA: Yasha and I are going to flank his head.
+
+LIAM: I’ll form the head.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re going here, and Yasha’s
+going here, is that what you’re doing?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we want to both try and get him in
+the head.
+
+ASHLEY: I want to put points down on his–
+
+MATT: Well, you can’t both go for the head, if
+you’re flanking. Either you can both get by the
+
+head–
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I’m saying. We flank his
+head.
+
+MATT: Oh I see.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry. I used poor language. We’re both
+by his head.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. All right.
+
+SAM: Then I’ll walk around the other side of the
+pillar so I get a good clean shot. Am I within 30
+
+feet? I want to be within 30 feet.
+
+MATT: Within 30 feet, you would be there.
+
+LAURA: Oh god.
+
+SAM: (crossbow loading) Ready to go.
+
+MATT: Who’s taking the first shot?
+
+LAURA: Then as soon as his eyes start to flutter
+open, right?
+
+LIAM: Whoever hits big hit first.
+
+TALIESIN: Or also, because he’ll get the one
+legendary, but other than that, it’s whatever we
+
+can get the fullest round.
+
+LIAM: Whoever can do the most damage with one
+attack should go first.
+
+MATT: Who’s attacking first?
+
+LAURA: Who’s going first?
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like you could do the most damage.
+
+LAURA: Do it! Go, Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I look at Yasha and I’ll go down
+first. Right after me. Okay, ready? I’m going to aim
+
+right for his other eye socket, the other one that
+Nott hit, and come down right in the middle, try
+
+and gore his head out.
+
+MATT: Go for a roll. It’s a melee attack, you have
+advantage because he’s unconscious.
+
+MARISHA: Please don’t fuck up on a sleeping guy.
+14 and 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s an auto-crit, because he’s
+unconscious.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Auto-crit!
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: It’s with your staff.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god, it’s a one.
+
+MATT: Aw. Two damage, plus–
+
+MARISHA: Plus four, so six damage. That sucks.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that is painful.
+
+MATT: As you slam down, it hits right off the
+ocular socket, and skids off the skull, (growl)
+
+the eye shoots open, the other one still swollen
+from the shot earlier, opens as well. (roaring)
+
+MARISHA: I take my bonus action and Three Stooges
+style, go poke, right in his eye. That’s a natural
+
+18.
+
+MATT: You still get advantage because he’s prone.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, let me see if I get that crit. No, 18
+though.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn it, that would be great. Crit eye
+poke!
+
+MARISHA: God, a one again. Five damage. Lot of
+crappy damage rolls.
+
+MATT: Poof, right in the eye. (roaring) The eye
+closes instinctually, and the arms begin to flail,
+
+as it’s trying to–
+
+SAM: Are we allowed to attack, or no?
+
+MATT: No, because that’s the end of Beau’s turn,
+now it’s Fjord’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+MATT: At the end of Beau’s turn, it’s going to go
+ahead and use its recovered legendary action to–
+
+LAURA: Can you run away before he can get an
+opportunity of attack on you?
+
+TALIESIN: Technically he hasn’t had a– oh, no, he
+did, because it’s a whole round back, never mind.
+
+MATT: It’s been a number of rounds.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m working every bloody angle I can
+think of.
+
+SAM: We weren’t holding our action for when they–
+I guess we never said it.
+
+MATT: You didn’t declare it.
+
+SAM: Oh, fuck. I thought it was implied, we were
+just waiting for it to wake up.
+
+MARISHA: I thought you said, who’s going to attack
+first, we were going to Goodfellas it. We were
+
+going to do that.
+
+MATT: Okay, well, from now on if you’re going to
+hold your action, please specify that. Those who
+
+were nearby needed to hold an action, that would
+be you, Molly.
+
+MARISHA: Can I then move and try and jump over him
+so I then flank him with Yasha? Can I use my
+
+movement to get to the other side?
+
+MATT: No, because if you guys were holding your
+action to the trigger of you attacking, then
+
+they’re all going before you do that.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Cool. Take your turns.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go ahead and say, (demonic
+voice) You got hit in the face with a piece of
+
+lollipop! I’m going to attempt to do four psychic
+damage and give him–
+
+MATT: That’s a 15. 16 minus one, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: (sigh) Will you roll under 15
+eventually? Okay.
+
+MATT: I know, I’ve been rolling really fucking
+well tonight, I’m sorry!
+
+LIAM: You gave him the die.
+
+TALIESIN: I know.
+
+MATT: It’s also a DC 10, but yeah. All right.
+
+SAM: 23 to hit.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage because he’s prone.
+
+SAM: 22 to hit.
+
+MATT: Okay. Still hits.
+
+SAM: That is 13 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage? How do you want to do
+this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: Trying not to hit Yasha or Beau, I would love
+the bolt to go through its belly as far as it can go.
+
+LAURA and SAM: Right in the belly button.
+
+MATT: As it begins to thrash about, its one hand
+hits the ground, kicking up all this dust and
+
+sand. The other club comes back, using it to get
+up off its feet, it looks like it’s ready to swing
+
+out towards Yasha and Beau, who’s just finished
+slamming into the creature. At that moment, you
+
+see the exposed belly that already has gashes in
+it from the wound, and you wait and release right
+
+for the opening. As it sinks in, it stands up
+anyway, and you watch as blood begins to pour out.
+
+You hit something major, and it’s starting to
+bleed out and it–
+
+LAURA: I did not expect that to happen!
+
+MATT: Takes a swing, and at this point there’s
+already blood draining out, and the swing goes
+
+wide, hits the ground, falls back onto its butt,
+and proceeds to slowly go back to sleep forever.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: Forever.
+
+TALIESIN: (whisper) Shh. Go to sleep.
+
+SAM: Do we win yet?
+
+MATT: At which point there’s a pause, this awkward
+quiet before the entire audience at once goes
+
+(cheering).
+
+LAURA: I use my Thaumaturgy to start chanting,
+Nott, Nott, Nott, Nott!
+
+ALL except SAM: (chanting) Nott, Nott, Nott,
+Nott!
+
+SAM: No, don’t draw any attention to me, no, don’t
+see me, no!
+
+TRAVIS: I look over at Caleb and say; No big deal,
+right?
+
+LIAM: I pull my hood further down over my face.
+
+MATT: The cheers continue as the large goliath
+steps out again with his tattoos and spiked armor,
+
+and he goes, “There we have it, the third round
+completion of The Mighty Nein! But one more fight
+
+“stands. Congratulations!” You guys are then led
+over to the holding area off to the side, as you
+
+pass your friends of the Stubborn Stock.
+
+LAURA: I grab my Spiritual Weapon as we’re leaving
+and drag the giant lollipop out of the arena with me.
+
+MATT: Leaving this large groove in the sand behind
+you. As you guys walk by, the team begins to–
+
+there’s this slow motion, like opposing little
+league baseball teams passing each other.
+
+MATT, MARISHA, LAURA, and ASHLEY: Good game.
+
+MATT: You see Darrow, who gives this, “Not too
+bad, well played.” Gives a smile as he continues
+
+past. You see the dwarven crossbow ranger gives a
+grin with his big scruffy poof beard. There’s the
+
+half-elf woman with two warhammers that she’s
+spinning on the leather straps on the end. You see
+
+this really fucking old guy. This wrinkly, old
+prospector-looking eyes through these wrinkled
+
+slits. (hoarse greeting)
+
+TRAVIS, MARISHA, and ASHLEY: Fucking old.
+
+MATT: I have no other way to describe him.
+
+TRAVIS: Old as balls.
+
+LAURA: Is his hair long or short?
+
+MATT: His hair’s long past his shoulders, but it’s
+super bald skullet on top. You see there’s a
+
+tattooed halfling, who’s got his chin in the air,
+grin and give you a show, and there’s the human
+
+archer that has a longbow that’s at the ready. All
+of them walk by, all six of them, into the center
+
+of the arena.
+
+SAM: As we walk by, can I try to untie the old
+guy’s shoelaces?
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: (laughs) He does not notice. It’s not a
+shoelace, unfortunately. There’s a boot lace. You
+
+untie it. You don’t know how much of an effect it
+will have.
+
+TRAVIS: You just killed that old man. Well done,
+Nott.
+
+LAURA: They looked pretty cool.
+
+MARISHA: They did.
+
+LAURA: Do you think we looked that cool?
+
+MARISHA: I liked how the archer was walking around
+ready, all the time, maybe we should do that.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Nott, always keep your crossbow
+loaded.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: But how will I drink?
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way into the holding
+area, the doors close once more. As the goliath,
+
+Jermai Kull, shouts out, “For the final match of
+the tournament, and the final round, the Stubborn
+
+"Stock!” The audience big shouts, screams, hands in
+the air, then silence. (monster shriek) The gates
+
+on the side open as they all circle around and
+look ready, not able to really ascertain the
+
+direction. All the gates open, and then barreling
+through at the far side, you see a large 20-foot
+
+dragonoid creature with a long snout, wings that
+have been carved and cut to where it cannot fly,
+
+and it’s lumbering forward without its flight. No
+arms, just the wings, giant clawed legs, and a
+
+long tail with a large poison stinger at the end.
+This is a wyvern. A wyvern that’s been prevented
+
+flight, and comes barreling straight to the
+center. They immediately go into a formation to
+
+accept the creature as it goes. Darrow rushes up
+with his battleaxe and starts cutting into the
+
+creature. You see this divine energy flicker off
+the arc as it slams into the side of this, this
+
+flash of radiant energy off of his battleaxe. He
+pulls away, his long black ponytail swishing
+
+behind from the arc of the blow. As he ducks out
+of the way, the tail swings and he ducks
+
+underneath it. The archer pulls back an arrow and
+the arrow flashes bright blue-green energy before
+
+it strikes and bursts into arcane energy on the
+side of this wyvern. It turns around and grabs the
+
+dwarf by the head and begins to thrash around with
+him in its jaws, throwing him about ten feet, he
+
+skids to the ground, falls unconscious in the
+first round.
+
+LAURA: Just like you, Molly!
+
+MATT: The old armored guy pulls up a symbol from
+his chest and begins to chant in the wrong
+
+direction, before the halfling grabs him and spins
+him this way, and he goes, “Right, ha!” and
+
+continues his chants. Another weapon, a Spiritual
+Weapon appears and apparates, but it looks like a
+
+large club of stone that begins to slam. The
+wyvern spins around and its tail manages to impact
+
+the belly of the old guy as he finishes his chant,
+and you watch him go limp and fall to the ground.
+
+MARISHA: Guys, I feel like we got the better end
+of the deal on this draw. Kind of glad I’m not
+
+fighting this thing.
+
+MATT: The halfling with the tattoos tears his
+shirt down and exposes all these tattoos on his
+
+chest, and he slaps them and begins to chant in a
+Haka-style chant. He begins to (chanting). As he’s
+
+doing this chant, all of his allies that are
+standing begin to get revved up, before he rushes
+
+in and pulls a blade and strikes at the wyvern,
+carving into its side.
+
+LAURA: Yasha, you should do that.
+
+MARISHA: We should rip off these guys’ aesthetic
+completely.
+
+ASHLEY: I just like the idea of the formation.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, formations are cool.
+
+MATT: You watch as the dwarven crossbow ranger
+rushes up and brings the cleric back to health.
+
+The cleric comes to consciousness and then brings
+through a quick casting of a spell off to the
+
+side, the– what’s the other one there, it was
+the–
+
+LAURA: Was the old guy the cleric?
+
+MATT: The old guy’s the one that went down, and–
+actually, no, the dwarf you thought was down
+
+actually gets back up. He wasn’t unconscious, just
+knocked really hard. He gets up, makes sure the
+
+cleric is up. The cleric heals some people around
+them and they begin to curl around it. They
+
+continue to strike and back and forth, the
+audience is breathless at moments. The wyvern
+
+jumps up on top of one of the walls, its stinger
+spins around and jams into Darrow. You see Darrow,
+
+the leader, takes a blow to the chest, and he goes
+unconscious on the ground before the wyvern
+
+pounces on him and starts tearing into the body.
+
+LAURA: He’s eating him!
+
+MATT: The halfling, who’s still continuing this
+chant, rushes forward, leaps onto its back and
+
+begins carving at the back of its neck. The
+elderly cleric begins approaching, still chanting
+
+in his mind and he’s unleashing heal spells, and
+occasionally throwing a bolt of energy, an
+
+electrical divine bolt of energy strikes the side
+of the wyvern. The dwarven ranger unleashes strike
+
+after strike of the crossbow and the wyvern’s
+hitting whatever comes near it. Two more of the
+
+members go unconscious and it gets down to just
+three on their side, before they manage to
+
+continue to stab into its side. Like a
+long-running bull fighting ring, both sides are
+
+exhausted at this point. Three of the six are down
+and the wyvern’s still standing. Darrow has gotten
+
+back up and is breathing hard. He backs around the
+side and they’ve all surrounded the wyvern who’s
+
+feeling cornered at this point, blood pouring from
+different wounds on its body. It gives another
+
+loud shriek. It turns around towards the elderly
+cleric and charges him and with a giant sweep of
+
+its jaw, sends him about ten, 15 feet in the air
+before he lands and rolls, unconscious on the
+
+ground.
+
+SAM: Does the shoe fall off?
+
+MATT: There’s two left. The boot does dislodge and
+arc an additional ten feet before resting away
+
+from–
+
+TRAVIS: Catching on the power line.
+
+MARISHA: Knock down the shoes.
+
+MATT: With that, the two standing members which
+are Darrow and the halfling both charge in. The
+
+halfling gives a pat on Darrow’s shoulder and
+shouts out a phrase in a language you don’t
+
+understand. Darrow seems to embolden his muscles,
+rushes in for a strike and carves down with his
+
+battleaxe into the back of the neck after it
+slammed into the cleric. As the blade sinks in
+
+about five or six inches, the large battle cry
+that it gave shrinks back into this weird
+
+withering screech. As it whips around, Darrow
+pulls his battleaxe out and backs away a few
+
+steps. The wyvern falls to its knees and with that
+Darrow spins the battleaxe in his hands and carves
+
+off the rest of its head with two, three, four
+strikes before it collapses. With that
+
+(cheering).
+
+LAURA: I use Thaumaturgy to say in the audience,
+“The Mighty Nein are cooler still.”
+
+MATT: (chuckles) The cheers are deafening at this
+point. The gates open in front of you as the emcee
+
+walks out once more and goes, “An incredible fight
+by the Stubborn Stock! Bring out our other
+
+"winners, The Mighty Nein!” The audience goes into
+loud cheers. You guys step out into the arena. The
+
+same crew’s coming out and dragging the body of
+the wyvern off down into the depths of where it
+
+was originally unleashed and the doors close
+behind. The clerics rush out and bring to
+
+consciousness the other members of the Stubborn
+Stock. They all eventually rise, beaten and
+
+bruised and as winded as a lot of you look. They
+give you a look as you approach and it’s a “well
+
+done” smile. Wordless, but a nod of respect. Then
+you to the right side of Jermai Kull, them to the
+
+left. “Raise your arms! For today on this Harvest
+Close, you are the victors!” The crowd goes crazy
+
+once more, flowers and bits of rice grain and all
+sorts of things are thrown into the center of the
+
+ring in part of the celebration.
+
+LAURA: Throw some money instead!
+
+MATT: There are copper flung from the audience,
+from the row. You guys take that moment. While
+
+it’s frustrating to share it, maybe, you made it.
+One of the gates on the opposite side opens up and
+
+a group of seven individuals begin to approach in
+various robes. You recognize a lot of them as
+
+people that were in the lounge earlier before you
+entered this actual arena. They’re carrying a
+
+small chest of iron and dark set wood and as they
+place it on the ground, they begin to pull out
+
+sacks of money. They’re presenting you the divided
+prize. That’s three rounds for the group and each
+
+round was 200 gold. That’s 600 gold that you guys
+get to divide and then the final pot was 2000
+
+divided amongst the two teams. An additional 1000
+to your team. So 1600 gold.
+
+TRAVIS: Not bad.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: As the money’s delivered to you, you acquire
+your reward. There’s a final burst of cheers from
+
+the audience and you’re escorted back into the
+holding area where the other groups have already
+
+left. They close the doors behind and it seems
+like the fanfare’s over, the attention on you,
+
+momentarily, has faded and it’s just you guys, the
+clerics, and the other group, the Stubborn Stock.
+
+LAURA: Did you say all the politicians have
+already left as well?
+
+MATT: Last you saw, they were up in the stands.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. Okay.
+
+MATT: You guys just got back to the holding area,
+taking a breath for yourself.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there a heal spell in the house?
+(groan)
+
+MATT: Darrow goes, “That’s a really good question.
+Clerics?” The clerics say, “We’ve used most of
+
+"them, but I can offer a couple.” They come up and
+they give you a heal. You heal eight hit points.
+
+TALIESIN: That helps.
+
+LAURA: Heal Yasha too, she’s really low.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you get one and then that’s a ten.
+You heal ten. Then two other spells are delivered
+
+to the opposing side. The other team.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, because they had a lot more people
+that fell, actually, so they probably need it
+
+really bad.
+
+TRAVIS: That was very well fought. Impressive.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that. I say the same to your
+team. That was no small feat. I mean, literally.
+
+"It was very large feet on that gentleman.”
+
+LAURA: But a very tiny dick, as was pointed out by
+our friend, Beau.
+
+MATT: “As I heard that from across the way.”
+
+MARISHA: Really, he doesn’t catch nuance though,
+so.
+
+MATT: “That’s okay.”
+
+MARISHA: Good to know for next time.
+
+MATT: “Apparently giants do not suffer the same
+insecurities that most people in this town does.”
+
+LIAM: What happens now? Do we just go home after
+this or is there some sort of soirée afterwards?
+
+MATT: “Oh, there is, but in the lounge area.
+Come!”
+
+LIAM: Who is invited to the party?
+
+MATT: “Well, the winners, of course.”
+
+MARISHA: Is there free booze?
+
+MATT: “Most likely.”
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: “Come on!”
+
+TALIESIN: I need a drink.
+
+MATT: The dwarf behind you goes, “Oh, aye. I could
+go with that one too. (grunts)” He’s holding his
+
+back. The half-elf who had the two warhammers
+goes, “Oh, don’t worry, honey.” Scruffs his hair.
+
+He goes, “Stop it!” He puts his arm around her
+waist and the two walk off together.
+
+TRAVIS: Dwarf got game.
+
+LAURA: They’re cute together.
+
+MATT: You’re led back to the lounge where you had
+originally signed up for this, also the same place
+
+where you had overheard the conversation with
+Starosta. As you enter now, it’s still that
+
+low-lit interior with the fine furniture,
+cushions. The food spread has been refilled. The
+
+drinks are poured. The servants are going around
+with their trays to make sure that everyone has
+
+opportunity to eat and drink as you go. Inside,
+however, it is a little busier than the last time
+
+you recall. The Starosta, Wyatt, is there as well,
+currently entertaining a few guests in there.
+
+There’s a couple of well-dressed merchants that
+look like they’re dressed in the same way that
+
+many of travelers from the Menagerie Coast are.
+There’s one of them who looks like they’re wearing
+
+clothing that’s a little more exotic than you’re
+familiar with. You do also see, within this area–
+
+let’s see here. You see Lawmaster Orentha
+Stonegrasp, there with her gray, curled hair, the
+
+older dwarven Lawmaster of Zadash.
+
+LAURA: Oh, she’s the one that we talked to
+before.
+
+MATT: Briefly, yeah. You had one encounter with.
+Alongside her is Dolan Thrym and two other people
+
+you haven’t met.
+
+SAM, MARISHA, and LAURA: Dolan.
+
+LAURA: The guy from the–
+
+SAM: Our Dolan.
+
+LIAM: Are they totally visible to us? What are
+their physical appearance?
+
+MATT: Oh the what– what?
+
+LIAM: The people that are with Dolan, what do they
+look like?
+
+MATT: Oh. They both appear to be wearing similar
+dull gold robes as to what you’ve seen members of
+
+the King’s Hall wear. But they’re a little more
+casual. They’re not quite as presentory or
+
+“in-the-office” mode.
+
+TRAVIS: The individuals that are in the more
+exotic clothing than we’re used to, what can we see of
+
+them? What do they look like?
+
+MATT: Well, there’s two people dressed in merchant
+garb that you see, the colors and the silks and
+
+the billowing pants and the jewellery is very
+reminiscent of Menagerie Coast where it has a lot
+
+of finger chains that attach to rings and it’s
+this very presentory jewelry, that isn’t classic
+
+European in visual aesthetic. You’ve seen it
+around in town where you grew up so you gather
+
+these people are from Menagerie Coast folk. The
+one who looks very exotic has very light linen
+
+outfit that is a dull eggshell white, but then
+has trim that is gold and purple. The pants are a
+
+deep blue. Short black hair, dark skin, bright
+smile, but you don’t notice any other cultural
+
+touchstones that you have any previous experience
+with.
+
+LAURA: Have I ever seen an outfit like that
+before?
+
+MATT: You may have seen things similar to it
+passing through your town from a distance or from
+
+your mom’s place of business, but nothing that you
+would necessarily know. Roll a history check,
+
+actually.
+
+SAM: She knows her history.
+
+LAURA: 19?
+
+MATT: Actually. You get the sense that this is
+probably Marquesian. He’s probably travelled from
+
+Marquet, which is a long way away. Very rare that
+you find people coming all the way from Marquet to
+
+the Empire, especially. Menagerie Coast a little
+more often, but this is something different. As you
+
+approach and enter, the Stubborn Stock immediately
+scatter to the food and drink. Starosta Wyatt, who
+
+you had seen briefly but not actually engaged with
+before, stands up as tall as a halfling can as you
+
+approach with his curly, matted hair and the
+shocks of white and gray on the sides. His arms
+
+open and he goes, “Congratulations! I just had to
+come and tell you personally a fantastic display.
+
+"Come closer, please, I want to meet all of you.”
+He starts putting hands out to meet you. “What’s
+
+"your name?”
+
+ASHLEY: Hello. I am Yasha.
+
+MATT: “Yasha. Pleasure to meet you. Fantastic
+performance. You’re a mighty warrior. I’m really
+
+"impressed.”
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you very much.
+
+MATT: “Oh. You are?”
+
+TALIESIN: Molly. Charmed.
+
+MATT: “Molly Charmed. Good, pleasure to meet
+you.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+MATT: “Fantastic. You, miss?”
+
+LAURA: Lady Fancypants McGee.
+
+MATT: “That’s a curious name.”
+
+LAURA: So nice to meet you.
+
+MATT: “Pleasure to meet you as well. Pants are
+rather fancy, well done. You there, little missy?”
+
+SAM: Hi. I’m just Pam.
+
+MATT: “Pam. Pleasure. Shy. That’s okay, that’s
+allowed. What’s your name?”
+
+LIAM: Caleb.
+
+MATT: “Caleb. Pleasure, pleasure to meet you. You
+are?”
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+MATT: “Beau. Well, pleasure to meet you as well.
+And you, sir?”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord. It’s been an honor fighting in your
+Victory Pit.
+
+MATT: “Oh, well, I will tell you, a brilliant
+display of skill and precisely the kind of
+
+"showmanship the fine people of Zadash need right
+now. I appreciate your being a part of this. It’s
+
+"well-earned victory and–”
+
+SAM: Was this person in the conversation I was
+spying on before?
+
+MATT: Yes. He was the one who was being notified.
+This is the Starosta of Zadash.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Have tensions eased in the city a bit
+since, you know, the incident?
+
+MATT: “The incident?”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, in the tower with the– yeah.
+
+MATT: “Oh, right. Well, we’ve taken care of that
+for the time being. Repairs have been made, the
+
+"tower’s back where it was. The individuals you
+probably want to talk to about that are over there
+
+"in the corner.” They were faced away from you when
+you first entered, but looking out from the far
+
+window that leads to the outside, you see two
+figures faced away, looking outward, holding
+
+glasses of wine. It looks to be the two figures
+you saw when you first entered the ring, Oremid
+
+Hass, the headmaster of the Zauber Spire. Or the
+Halls of Erudition.
+
+LAURA: Then the dude in the white robes?
+
+MATT: The dude in the white robes.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+LIAM: They were the two that were just pointed out
+to all of us.
+
+MATT: Yes. They were just facing away from you
+guys. Wyatt Fedar says, “If you want to enquire
+
+"the specifics, they’d be the ones to talk to. I
+will say, I’ve recently been notified by
+
+"Stonegrasp.” He points over to the Lawmaster,
+who’s in conversation on the side with her own
+
+people. “That you had already completed some
+dangerous contract work for the city, is that
+
+"correct?”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s indeed true, yeah. We found
+ourselves in harm’s way. We’re always looking for
+
+the next bit of adventure to put some coin in our
+pockets and do the city some good.
+
+MATT: “That’s fantastic.”
+
+LAURA: We beat a spider.
+
+MATT: “That’s the one she mentioned. That thing
+had been a problem for some time, I hear, so it’s
+
+"greatly appreciated. You’ve done twice now, a
+great service for this city. Well, this evening is
+
+"yours to celebrate. Things shifting as they are,
+we may have need of upstanding and skilled
+
+"citizens of the Empire such as yourselves in the
+near future. Should you be interested, that is.”
+
+LAURA: Is everything okay, Starosta? You seem
+rather stressed. I’m good at spotting these things.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that. My position here comes
+with a number of responsibilities so at any given
+
+"point in time I’m probably am very visibly
+stretched, but I’m doing the best I can. I
+
+"appreciate that. Where might we contact you,
+should we be so interested?”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we’re frequently at the– what the
+name was the–
+
+LAURA: The Leaky Tap.
+
+TRAVIS: The Leaky Tap. Yep.
+
+MATT: “Leaky Tap Tavern, okay.”
+
+TALIESIN: Frequently, not always.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Sometimes we stay at the Pillow
+Trove, you know.
+
+TALIESIN: Sometimes we’re out and about.
+
+MATT: “All right. Well, good to know. Should we
+have need of you, we’ll know where to come and
+
+"find you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Actually, on the Pillow Trove: you know,
+sometimes people don’t quite know the services we
+
+do for the city. Sure would help if we had some
+sort of slip or badge that would allow us to move
+
+more freely, you know?
+
+LIAM: Through the gates.
+
+MATT: “Oh well, that’s not a worry, I don’t think.
+Simon!” Hits the side of the chair and one of the
+
+crownsguard comes up, but a more decorated
+crownsguard. Looks like he holds more status and
+
+he goes, “Yes, Starosta?” He looks about and says,
+“Can we ensure that the rest of your body of
+
+"soldiers understand that these fine champions of
+this year’s Harvest Close festival are allowed
+
+"entry and exit from our fine Tri-Spires?” He’s
+like, “Yes, sir. We will make sure that the
+
+"Crownsguard are aware of The Mighty Nein and their
+ability to pass in and out unimpeded.”
+
+TRAVIS: Most gracious of you.
+
+LAURA: Thank you so much. What is your name?
+
+MATT: “Oh, I’m Jeremiah. Captain Jeremiah. I’m–
+anyway. Well done, well fought.” He takes a step
+
+back out of the conversation and you get the sense
+that there’s a little bit of a hierarchy there
+
+where the Starosta, not meaning to, but there’s a
+very much, “I should not be part of this
+
+"conversation,” and he steps out of it. “Well. Very
+well. Look, enjoy your well-earned evening of
+
+"revelry as much as you can. I have a sense there
+are some stressful days ahead so enjoy it. Rest
+
+"well.” Takes his glass and drinks to you.
+
+SAM: To a better tomorrow!
+
+MATT: “Indeed, young girl.” He turns around and
+sits up on the couch, and re-engages in
+
+conversation with one of his various guests.
+
+TRAVIS: He certainly seems stressed.
+
+SAM: He’s going to die tomorrow in war.
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+SAM: We all are.
+
+TRAVIS: What are you talking about?
+
+SAM: Didn’t I tell you guys? There’s a war
+starting tomorrow?
+
+TRAVIS: Did you?
+
+SAM: I overheard them. Yes!
+
+LAURA: She did tell us.
+
+SAM: We’re all going to die. We should leave now.
+
+LAURA: We’re not going to die. The war is very far
+away from us.
+
+TALIESIN: I can’t believe I find myself agreeing
+with Nott here. We should get out of town while
+
+it’s still possible.
+
+TRAVIS: Really? We’re just starting to climb our
+way up through this thing.
+
+TALIESIN: You leave the table when you’ve got the
+pot. You don’t wait for everything to go back to
+
+the dealer.
+
+LIAM: I think for a day or two, everyone here is
+going to be very preoccupied in the city. If there
+
+is anything you are thinking of doing, it would be
+a good time to do it.
+
+LAURA: We should steal everything.
+
+TALIESIN: At some point, they’re going to start
+looking for people to fight this war, and I’m not
+
+sure I want to be around for it, because boy they
+know who we are now.
+
+LIAM: What I am suggesting is a compromise. Not
+leaving immediately, but soon.
+
+LAURA: I need time to go back to the Pillow Trove,
+you guys.
+
+LIAM: DM, can you remind me what time of day it
+is?
+
+MATT: It’s past dusk now. At this point, nine
+o'clock in the evening.
+
+LIAM: On past days, has Pumat’s place been open
+this late?
+
+MATT: It has been.
+
+TALIESIN: I still have a giant tapestry over my
+shoulder.
+
+LAURA: I like to think you did the entire fight
+with it.
+
+TALIESIN: I put it down before the fight.
+
+TRAVIS: Anyone else pick up on those two
+individuals over in the corner?
+
+LAURA: Well, he pointed them out, we should go
+talk to them.
+
+MARISHA: They look familiar.
+
+LAURA: What should we say?
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want me to do the talking?
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: I was kidding.
+
+SAM: No, you should. You weren’t with us the night
+that all this went down, so they would not suspect
+
+you of anything.
+
+LAURA: That’s actually true.
+
+TRAVIS: Outside your boundaries, here you go.
+Let’s go.
+
+ASHLEY: Fjord, can you come– We’re all going to
+go, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. Yeah. I’ll join you. Jester?
+
+LAURA: You want me to come, too?
+
+TALIESIN: I actually think maybe it should be her
+and Beau, because they won’t recognize her, and
+
+human faces tend to blend into the crowd, whereas
+we do not.
+
+LAURA: I can listen to the Starosta.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+LIAM: I am already hanging out by the door to this
+place. I left 30 seconds ago.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, but I was actually kidding.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not.
+
+LAURA: You’ll be great, Yasha.
+
+SAM: Just ask them about what happened the other
+night and the Crick that they killed.
+
+TALIESIN: Remember how we talked about getting you
+out in the world more, and then you said you
+
+didn’t want to, but then we said you’re going to
+have to do it anyway?
+
+ASHLEY: I know, but–
+
+TALIESIN: This is those times.
+
+ASHLEY: (sighs) Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, let’s go make asses out of
+ourselves!
+
+TALIESIN: She’ll take care of you.
+
+LAURA: Ask about the Xhorhasian that they fought
+and then ask them how they do so much cool magic.
+
+Then ask them–
+
+SAM: Who they work for? We know who they work for.
+What do we need from them?
+
+MARISHA: Names. Information.
+
+TRAVIS: What are they worried about?
+
+MARISHA: Where are they going to fight? Are they
+going to roll out people?
+
+LAURA: Ask them how they fly.
+
+SAM: Oh! Why don’t you just act like you know more
+than you do? Like, (gruff voice) Whoa, I hear
+
+war’s coming tomorrow. What about that?
+
+TRAVIS: If we’re going to help the city, the more
+we know, the better.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s not even start making vague
+promises. Just be yourself and you’ll
+
+be fine. Just be anybody but yourself
+and you’ll be fine. It’s going to be great.
+
+MARISHA: What was that about making promises?
+
+TRAVIS: As they start walking over, I’m going to
+wide flank to the left–
+
+MATT: Wait, so who’s going where?
+
+MARISHA: Me and Yasha are going to go talk to the
+wizards.
+
+MATT: Beau and Yasha are going there?
+
+LAURA: You’re not going to go too?
+
+TRAVIS: No, these two.
+
+LAURA: Oh jeez. I’m going to constantly stay
+within a few feet of the Starosta, but not in like
+
+a weird way. I just want to like overhear his
+conversations and see if he’s talking about war
+
+and stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: I’d like to flank to the left and keep an
+eye on the crowd to see if anybody pays attention
+
+to two strangers approaching.
+
+MATT: Okay. It seems that the cluster of merchants
+that he had originally mentioned are keeping
+
+pretty close to the Starosta. They’re probably in
+the business of discussing future transactions and
+
+business. You gather probably more on the Starosta
+making connections in preparation for what’s about
+
+to transpire.
+
+LIAM: Is it really crowded in here? Are there a
+lot of people?
+
+MATT: There’s about 20 or so people in the
+chamber. The chamber’s maybe about 40 feet by 40
+
+feet. It’s fairly packed.
+
+LIAM: I am going to send Frumpkin dancing around
+people’s feet to follow Yasha and Beau, and take a
+
+seat in a chair on the side of the room as close
+to the door as possible.
+
+MATT: You find a chair, everyone seems to be
+standing and conversing.
+
+MARISHA: It’s okay. Fjord’s been teaching me how
+to talk to people.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want to take the lead?
+
+MARISHA: Sure. I walk up to Orenid Hass. Oremid.
+
+MATT: They’re both faced away and they’re looking
+out. There’s a window that’s open that leads out
+
+into the main Victory Pit and then there’s the
+sky, which is mostly clouds, occasionally you see
+
+a break with some stars. They’re in the middle of
+a conversation, but it’s hushed.
+
+MARISHA: I grab Yasha behind on the small of her
+back. I walk her up to the window, and I’m like:
+
+Yeah, and there’s actually a really great view–
+
+MATT: They both immediately stop and turn over to
+look at you.
+
+ASHLEY: I can’t even imagine the beauty.
+
+MARISHA: Right? It’s such a great view. Over there
+is the Cobalt Soul.
+
+MATT: “Pardon me, can we help you?” You glance
+over, and you can see Oremid Hass, at first
+
+glance: squat, maybe five-foot-three, but a wide
+body, like Wolverine proportions. Very dark, ruddy
+
+brown skin with eyes that are black like obsidian
+that sparkle when you look at them. The hair is
+
+very short and curled, and there’s this very
+strongly inset dimple wrinkle when he smiles with
+
+teeth that are dull gray in color. There’s
+something not quite human about him, but also very
+
+welcoming. As he turns towards you, there’s a bit
+of dust that is loosened from the edges of his
+
+ears, and it (air puffing). It’s a strange
+phenomenon. With long reddish-gold robes, his arms
+
+are folded in the sleeves where you can’t see
+them. He says, “I apologize, we’ve taken time away
+
+"from the window.” The other gentleman turns
+towards you, and you can see now, very close, an
+
+older gentleman, probably 70s or so, skin slightly
+jaundiced or yellowed in color versus the usual
+
+pigmentation here. Bald on top, but longer
+gray-white hair that goes past the shoulders, the
+
+same white and gold robes. He smiles, but he looks
+like he’s not enjoying the pleasantries of the
+
+space, but then puts on a face as soon as he
+notices your arrival and gives a nod. “I recognize
+
+"both of you. You were part of this fight ordeal,
+The Mighty Nein, correct?”
+
+MARISHA: We were. I recognize you, too. I feel
+like we’ve met before. Maybe at a gala
+
+previously?
+
+MATT: “It’s possible. I do not recall, but if so,
+it is good to see you again. I’m sorry.”
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+MATT: “Beau, I am Oremid Hass. I am the Headmaster
+of the Halls of Erudition. This is my compatriot,
+
+"Master Trent Ikithon.”
+
+MARISHA: Trent Ikithon.
+
+MATT: He turns and goes, “It is a pleasure to meet
+you. I saw what you did today as well. It was a
+
+"very majestic display of skills, quite.”
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you very much.
+
+MARISHA: Majestic is my middle name. We saw, the
+other day, you guys fighting off those invaders,
+
+that was very impressive. Thank you so much for
+your service to the city.
+
+MATT: Oremid goes to raise his hand and Trent
+goes, “Oh, so you were present during the attack
+
+"outside of the Zauber Spire, ja?”
+
+MARISHA: Well, I mean, it was pretty public.
+Towers are tall.
+
+MATT: “Well, it was an unfortunate incident that,
+thankfully, we were present, both of us, to take
+
+"care of it before it grew too dangerous.”
+
+ASHLEY: What were you fighting?
+
+MATT: “That seemed to be assassins sent by the
+Kryn dynasty, terrible Cricks that had attempted to
+
+"steal something that should not fall into their
+hands.”
+
+ASHLEY: The Kryn dynasty, they are from northern
+Xhorhas?
+
+MATT: “That is correct.” He gives you a look over,
+like he’s inspecting you with a very rapid and
+
+very detailed intake of your features, and he
+goes, “Where are you from, if I might ask?”
+
+SAM: Abort, abort, abort.
+
+ASHLEY: I am… from…
+
+MATT: “Where did you grow up?”
+
+ASHLEY: Xhorhas.
+
+MATT: “How long have you lived here in the
+Empire?”
+
+ASHLEY: Not very long. About, let’s see, maybe
+eight months or something?
+
+MARISHA: That doesn’t look good. No.
+
+MATT: “Fascinating.”
+
+MARISHA: She travels and has helped–
+
+MATT: Trent isn’t even looking at you. He’s
+completely focused on Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: I travel. I left. (stammers) I chose not
+to live there anymore.
+
+MATT: “Why did you leave?”
+
+ASHLEY: I just, you know, it’s not a great place
+to live. It’s awful. It’s marsh and it’s not a
+
+comfortable place to live.
+
+MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw for me real
+fast.
+
+ALL: Ooh.
+
+LAURA: Wisdom saving throw? He just did Zone of
+Truth on you!
+
+TALIESIN: Wow, that was cocked.
+
+LAURA: Super cocked.
+
+SAM: Super cock!
+
+ASHLEY: Seven. Because I have a negative.
+
+MATT: As you’re talking, it’s weird. He’s staring
+at you, but for a moment you feel like there’s an
+
+illusion over his mouth and his fingers. They’re
+still not moving, but it’s almost like your eyes
+
+catch something shifting unseen beneath them. It’s
+almost like you’ve layered two images over each
+
+other for a brief second. Then they’re gone, and
+he goes, “Huh. Well, very happy to have you
+
+"fighting on our side.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, I most definitely am. I can assure
+you I don’t stand for anything bad from the
+
+Xhorhas and I am here to help.
+
+MATT: “Wonderful. Maintain that, please.”
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: “You and your friends seem to be very
+helpful, and a lot of help may be needed. Should
+
+"you ever stray from that path… It has been a
+pleasure, Yasha.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, that’s me.
+
+MATT: He reaches out and shakes your hand once
+more. “I would like very much to talk to you some
+
+"time in the future. You’re intriguing.”
+
+MARISHA: Well, you see, you have to go through me,
+because I’m her booker. That’s actually a
+
+conversation that me and you and the rest of The
+Mighty Nein can have.
+
+MATT: “You’re Cobalt Soul, aren’t you?” Oremid
+goes, “Please, stop this interrogation. I
+
+"apologize. My friend is very studious.”
+
+MARISHA: No, I am Cobalt Soul. Yeah. Super proud
+of the work we’re doing over there.
+
+MATT: “You have done much great work and have
+aided us on many occasions.”
+
+MARISHA: Everyone at the Cobalt Soul feels the
+same about you all at the Halls of Erudition.
+
+MATT: Oremid Hass actually laughs and he goes,
+(laughs) “Look. I know that there have been
+
+"tensions in the past, but, complete honesty, I
+really appreciate what you do over there.”
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Anyway, we must be off. The evening has
+grown late. Isn’t that correct?” Trent goes, “Yes,
+
+"that is correct. It’s been a pleasure. I look
+forward to our paths crossing again.”
+
+ASHLEY: Great. Same here, because this was great
+conversation.
+
+MARISHA: One last question, Oremid. The Cobalt
+Soul’s been talking about moving to the front
+
+line. Do you have any idea if we’re going to get
+the same support from the Hall of Erudition?
+
+Because I know you’re a fan of our work and we’re
+such a mutual fan of yours.
+
+MATT: “To the front line of what?”
+
+ASHLEY: Ah, you know.
+
+MATT: “We train a good number of war mages, yes.
+Some of our finest will be present at Bladegarden
+
+"and beyond. Should things escalate any further,
+I’m sure a number of our circle will also join
+
+"where it’s necessary.”
+
+MARISHA: Beautiful.
+
+MATT: “You have my word and the word of the
+Assembly.”
+
+MARISHA: Cobalt Soul’s got your back too.
+
+ASHLEY: But to be clear, do you know what you’re
+fighting?
+
+MATT: They both have a knowing look at each other
+and look back to you. Trent casts forward and
+
+says, “We have been studying for quite some time
+as is the nature of protecting our people here,
+
+"yes, but there are still many mysteries beyond the
+boundaries. Why? Is there something you know that
+
+"we don’t?”
+
+ASHLEY: Just if you’re fighting– I just wanted to
+know if you were fighting the Kryn.
+
+MATT: “Very much so. They have killed many of our
+people. The skies to the east darken, and we want
+
+"to keep that darkness from spreading. We wish the
+sun to continue to rise on this empire, and
+
+"currently it does not over the Ashkeeper Peaks.”
+
+ASHLEY: I wish you the best of luck.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. If you’re ever near Rexxentrum,
+find me. I would like to continue this
+
+"conversation.”
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Oremid Hass speaks up and goes, “All right.
+Well, anyway, a wonderful night to you all. Rest
+
+"well. Congratulations and well fought.”
+
+TRAVIS: DM, can I ask, is his name
+Trick-a-tick-a-ting-tong? What was his name?
+
+MATT: Trent Ikithon. I-K-I-T-H-O-N.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I spelled it right!
+
+MATT: You’re welcome.
+
+SAM: I ran a half-ikithon once.
+
+TRAVIS: Boo!
+
+ASHLEY: Where did he say we could meet up?
+
+TRAVIS: Rexxentrum.
+
+ASHLEY: Rexxentrum?
+
+MATT: Rexxentrum, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Which is where the Soltryce is.
+
+MARISHA: Rexxentrum. Soltryce Academy.
+
+MATT: They exit, and you watch as Oremid, halfway
+through the room, as he has his arms folded, goes,
+
+“Oh my goodness. Look at you!” and gets down and
+starts going towards Frumpkin and is like, “Well,
+
+"how did you get in here?”
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, he’s got a weakness.
+
+MATT: He begins reaching for–
+
+LIAM: Hass or Ikithon?
+
+MATT: No. Oremid Hass immediately goes down and
+goes from this completely well-established
+
+presentary persona to this child-like wonder of
+this cat. He’s like, “Come here.
+
+"Please. I would like to touch on you.”
+
+LIAM: I’m taking all this in first person.
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s remember this for later.
+
+TRAVIS: My whiskers!
+
+LIAM: That’s all I can take. I get out of it.
+
+MATT: Okay. You pull out of it, and you watch as
+Oremid actually picks up Frumpkin and holds him in
+
+his hand and starts petting him like (coos). They
+both continue to walk towards the exit.
+
+LIAM: I lean forward and look at the ground.
+
+MATT: Okay. As they exit the chamber, Oremid,
+outside, goes ahead and sets Frumpkin down and
+
+pets his head for a moment. “Go on. Don’t get
+stuck inside.” They both leave and exit into the night.
+
+TALIESIN: That looked like it went well. How bad
+was it?
+
+SAM: What information did you glean?
+
+MARISHA: Man, Yasha’s super honest.
+
+SAM: Why? What happened?
+
+MARISHA: Super forthcoming.
+
+ASHLEY: I figured it’s like one of those things,
+that if you’re going to get caught, you might as
+
+well tell the truth because it’s easier to
+remember. I don’t know. I panicked.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, did you say anything you didn’t want
+to?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think so. Did I say anything that
+was bad?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think so.
+
+LIAM: Maybe where you are from and how short a
+time you have been here.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, I said both of those things.
+
+TALIESIN: You said both of those things?
+
+LIAM: Yes, you did.
+
+MARISHA: You definitely made it seem like she
+could be a Xhorhasian spy definitely there to
+
+potentially kill them. In fact, I think that’s
+exactly what they thought might have been
+
+happening.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but you also dropped a horse apple in
+front of them as well.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it was kind of great.
+
+TRAVIS: What’d she do?
+
+LIAM: She mentioned a little insight on the
+pending war when no one knows about the pending war.
+
+MARISHA: I think they’re going to look at you as a
+good resource. I think that’s what you revealed
+
+yourself as.
+
+ASHLEY: Either that, or they think that I’m a
+Xhorhasian assassin, and I am not.
+
+MARISHA: What the fuck is the Kryn though?
+
+SAM: The Kryn is the kingdom over there.
+
+TRAVIS: Kryn.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s the Kryn dynasty.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, the Kryn.
+
+LAURA: Kryn is the empress of the drow, you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: The green is something else.
+
+LAURA: I’m not here. I’m next to Starosta.
+
+TALIESIN: It didn’t devolve into a punching fest.
+That’s pretty good.
+
+LAURA: Is the Starosta still here?
+
+MATT: The Starosta is still here, yes.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m still there.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: I was envisioning a big, evil monster.
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+MATT: Okay. You overhear the gist of most of the
+conversation, best you can without catching too
+
+much attention to yourself. Over the next 20
+minutes or so, you catch what amounts to them
+
+discussing possible future difficulty in crossing
+border boundaries between the empire, the
+
+Menagerie Coast, and imports. The necessity of
+them, but having to make sure they go through very
+
+stringent processes in doing so, with the promise
+of coming conflict. He doesn’t outright say that
+
+they’re at war yet, but the Starosta is
+essentially laying the groundwork for maintaining
+
+trade lines through the Wuyun Gorge, across the
+Cyrios Mountains. Wanting to make sure that the
+
+port towns of the Menagerie Coast still have
+access to get the necessary goods to the empire,
+
+not only to maintain their people, but to get them
+as quickly as possible to the front to the east.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, allies.
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re trying to basically
+establish– what initially seemed like it may have
+
+been a pleasantry based arrival on their part,
+they have been pulled into this conversation with
+
+the Starosta out of necessity from his standpoint.
+You can sense there’s a bit of desperation in his
+
+voice. He’s generally trying to do the best job he
+can and feels overwhelmed in the moment and is
+
+trying as best he can to cover it.
+
+SAM: Yasha. Just so we know and can– I trust you.
+But if there’s anything that we need to know, now
+
+would be a good time to tell us so that we’re not
+in danger. Are you a Xhorhasian spy come here to
+
+do bad things to the empire?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, you’ve discovered why she’s
+been with my circus all this time, working as a
+
+bouncer.
+
+SAM: Well, why are you here then? Why did you
+flee?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I don’t know if that is any of your
+business at this time.
+
+SAM: Well, I want to know in case they’re going to
+come try to kill you and kill me by accident.
+
+TALIESIN: If they try and kill you to get answers,
+then, this way, you don’t know anything. Then
+
+you’re really not worth anything.
+
+TRAVIS: Plausible deniability.
+
+SAM: Plausi-mon-a-mon-a-minity?
+
+TRAVIS: There was an M in there that wasn’t
+supposed to be.
+
+Plausible demi-ability.
+
+LIAM and TALIESIN: Sea anemone. Sea anemone.
+
+SAM: I just want to know if you’re on their side
+or the Xhorhasian side so that when this war
+
+comes, that we’re not caught in the crossfire.
+That’s all.
+
+TALIESIN: What side are you on?
+
+SAM: I’m on my side.
+
+TALIESIN: Exactly.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m not on any side, but I do think what
+we are fighting is something very terrible.
+
+SAM: You mean what they’re fighting?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: In Xhorhas?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+SAM: The Kryn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I mean, we heard about them in the
+north and they’re mostly dark elves that settled
+
+in a massive ruin that was completely forbidden
+for us to travel to.
+
+SAM: Did they do bad things to your people?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. The ones that went there. They do
+keep their skies dark. It’s some kind of dark
+
+magic that we don’t know of that keeps the sun
+away. They’ve enslaved men and beasts and demons
+
+under their banner.
+
+SAM: That sucks.
+
+MARISHA: Have you seen the dark skies?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve never been there because it’s hard to
+get there and it’s not someplace I would want to
+
+go alone.
+
+SAM: Did you know anyone who went?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve heard stories, but never anybody
+personally.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you interested in going there?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve always been curious. Just to see with
+my own eyes, but they’ve done so many bad things
+
+that I would want to fight them.
+
+MARISHA: I think Molly’s right. I think Molly and
+Nott are right. I think they’re going to try and
+
+start enlisting soldiers here. Are they doing the
+same where you’re from?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: During this whole talking, I look in and see
+where my cat is.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin is maybe 20 feet outside the door
+and is waiting for you guys to exit.
+
+LIAM: Okay. I tell him to wait there for me.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: If we’re really going to be pulling out of
+this city that fast, haha. Maybe we should take
+
+advantage of these new badges we have and hit up
+the Tri-Spires.
+
+TALIESIN: Finish the evening off right. I’ll
+honestly say I’d like to get out of here as soon
+
+as possible so they don’t think we’re running from
+the news. We get out of here before the news hits.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. All at once?
+
+MARISHA: Where do we go?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t care. I’m just happier moving
+than staying still.
+
+LIAM: How quickly are you thinking?
+
+TALIESIN: If it were just the two of us, I’d say
+leave tonight, but–
+
+LIAM: How about 24 hours from now?
+
+TALIESIN: See if we can make it faster, but 24
+hours is not terrifying.
+
+TRAVIS: Dusk tomorrow.
+
+TALIESIN: No later than dusk. I would like to get
+out before news starts to spread. Before they
+
+decide to start locking down the holes.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. One more day. Just to get supplies and
+get ready for the road again.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a fair point.
+
+SAM: Should we divide up the money?
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+TRAVIS: I believe that’s 228 gold each.
+
+SAM: Great!
+
+MATT: As you guys are in the process of finishing
+this up and people are starting to leave from the
+
+lounge area and they’re starting to close down,
+Darrow comes up with his troupe– they’re a ways
+
+into their cups– and he’s like, “Friends, before
+we shove off and probably never meet again, I just
+
+"wanted to say it’s been an absolute pleasure to
+get to meet you, to watch you fight, for you to
+
+"watch us fight. All the luck in your future
+endeavors.”
+
+TRAVIS: Same to you. It was very impressive. Where
+does fate take you after this night?
+
+MATT: “Well, as far as I know, we’re probably
+heading back up to Nogvurot and continuing with
+
+"our contract of sitting around and being paid for
+nothing.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is that– remind me again– north of here?
+Northwest?
+
+MATT: “Northeast-ish. East of Rexxentrum. That’s
+where we’ve been stationed for the past six or
+
+"seven months or so. Done a few jobs here and
+there.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is this a contract that keeps on going or
+is there any set end date for you guys?
+
+MATT: “No, not until they cancel it.”
+
+TRAVIS: Man, that is rough. We’ve been hearing
+little murmurs of action– what direction is it?
+
+SAM: East.
+
+TRAVIS: East of here.
+
+MATT: “Like over on the border with Xhorhas?”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. Trouble stirring up. You hear
+anything about that?
+
+MATT: “Other than the fact that there have been
+incursions and kidnappings and stuff, it’s all
+
+"been small and localized within the borders, but
+Bladegarden’s there for a reason, and
+
+"Talonstadt.”
+
+TRAVIS: Since you’re familiar with that trip back
+and forth, anything you would recommend us
+
+checking out? Just in case we decided to wander
+for a bit?
+
+MATT: “(laughter) What are you looking for?”
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know, a good time, a bit of
+adventure. Maybe a bit of both.
+
+MATT: “Hm, a good time. To be perfectly honest, if
+you’re looking for wining, dining, and various
+
+"nightly pleasures, my faith does not allow for
+that so I’m a very bad source, but,” and he turns
+
+around–
+
+LIAM: I think what my friend is talking about is
+can you recommend any good ways to get into
+
+trouble?
+
+MATT: “Oh. Legal trouble, or illegal trouble?”
+
+LIAM: What you will.
+
+MATT: “If you’re going to go illegal, you can
+actually go just beyond the boundaries of the
+
+"Empire to Shadycreek Run. Entire haven for
+murderers, thieves, and all sorts of strange
+
+"people.”
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe if it’s not so gnarly?
+
+MATT: “There is Deastok to the west, as well as
+Kamordah. There’s quite good drink in Kamordah.
+
+"There’s Pride’s Call if you like the jovial
+dwarvenfolk there. Much less dark and intense as
+
+"Grimgolir, because they’re right on the boundary
+and most of them are fighting for the war as well.
+
+"Personally, Rexxentrum’s got it all.”
+
+TRAVIS: We hear that. Soltryce Academy is located
+there as well.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, that it is.”
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know anybody that’s graduated from
+that academy?
+
+MATT: “Not privately, no. Like I said, I’ve only
+been here for about a little over a half a year.
+
+"To me, it’s not been too bad.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. Well, I wish you the best.
+
+MATT: “You as well, my friends. Drink deep. Play
+hard.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. Same to you.
+
+LAURA: I’d like to stop the Starosta before he
+leaves the room.
+
+MATT: Okay. You do notice, as Darrow leaves, he
+does have a medallion around his neck that,
+
+previously, was hidden under his armor. It is the
+symbol of the Dawnfather.
+
+LAURA: It’s the legal thing, after– oh no, it’s
+not!
+
+MATT: The Dawnfather’s legal here.
+
+LAURA: The Dawnfather is legal here.
+
+MATT: As the rest of the folk are exiting out, you
+guys have basically waited to close down the
+
+party. Most of the servants are cleaning up and
+finishing up the space. The Starosta begins to
+
+leave and make his way out there with his
+companions and they’re chatting.
+
+MARISHA: I drink all the leftover drinks that
+people left behind.
+
+MATT: Classiest. Classy.
+
+SAM: I have limitless alcohol.
+
+LAURA: May I have a moment of your time before you
+leave?
+
+MATT: “Oh yeah, of course! Jester– ” No, you told
+him it was Fancypants.
+
+LAURA: Fancypants, yes.
+
+TRAVIS: McGee.
+
+MATT: “Fancypants McGee.”
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: “Right, right. Yes– ”
+
+LAURA: My friends call me Jester.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough. What can I do for you?”
+
+LAURA: Well, I couldn’t help but notice your body
+posture, for this whole party, has been rather
+
+tense. I don’t know if you noticed, but I am a bit
+of a healer, and I’m from the Menagerie Coast,
+
+where I did a lot of mental healing, as well as
+body healing. If there’s anything you need to
+
+relieve your stress, I’m very good at this. This
+is why I came here.
+
+MATT: He gives a look and goes, “Uh,” and looks
+back and forth between his companions. He goes,
+
+“What are you insinuating?”
+
+LAURA: I’m talking about somebody to talk to.
+
+MATT: “Right! Right.”
+
+LAURA: To relieve your mind of your stress!
+
+MATT: “Right. I really appreciate that offer.
+Genuinely, Jester Fancypants McGee. However, such
+
+"is my life– ”
+
+LAURA: I know you have people that work for you–
+
+MATT: “Maybe in a week. Give me some time. A lot of
+stuff percolating right now, but Leaky Tap, right?”
+
+LAURA: Or the Pillow Trove.
+
+MATT: “Or the Pillow Trove. All right, well I may
+have use of your services soon. Not at the moment,
+
+"but soon.”
+
+LAURA: Okay. I can help your mind! You just
+relieve that stress! It’s somebody to talk to,
+
+it’s very helpful.
+
+MATT: “I appreciate that. Soon.” He is trying
+desperately to not make the wrong impression to
+
+his friends. He darts off with them into the
+night.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you drinking every random cup or are
+you pouring them all into one cup?
+
+TRAVIS: Suicide or one at a time?
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m just finishing the ones that are
+left behind! It is an atrocity to leave alcohol on
+
+a table.
+
+MATT: Make a constitution saving throw, Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah! One of those was full of dip spit.
+
+LIAM: Fjord’s work.
+
+MARISHA: 17.
+
+MATT: Iron stomach Beauregard over here.
+
+LAURA: You’re going to have the shits later.
+
+MARISHA: Probably.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re a trash person. I walk over and I
+take your last drink and drink it and salute.
+
+MARISHA: You’re a– You–
+
+TALIESIN: I know!
+
+LAURA: Oh man, you guys, I was really trying to
+get the Starosta to talk to me.
+
+SAM: Well, you offered him your services. I
+would’ve said yes if a strange psychoanalyst
+
+walked up to me and–
+
+LAURA: I am a healer! I’m a really good healer.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you tell him that he has to give you a
+dollar to engage your services?
+
+LAURA: No, I told him– I didn’t give him a price,
+actually.
+
+MARISHA: See, that’s even shiftier.
+
+LAURA: That means I’m really good, is what that
+means.
+
+ASHLEY: You charge for these services?
+
+LAURA: Not for friends.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) I’m actually really shit at
+giving advice, but don’t tell anyone, okay?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t agree. I feel like you would be
+very good at it.
+
+LAURA: Well, any time you have any problems,
+Yasha, you just come to me, okay?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’m maybe showing a little bit of pink
+on my cheeks.
+
+LIAM: Are we talking about rolling at the Pillow
+Trove this evening? Is that what I am picking up on?
+
+LAURA: I need to go by there anyway. How long has
+it been since we’ve been in town?
+
+MATT: Since you’ve been in town? It’s probably
+been a week and a half to two weeks.
+
+LAURA: By this point, my mom has probably got the
+package here.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, by all means, let’s stop by there
+and then let’s see if there’s a fancy place for us to–
+
+MARISHA: We have fucking money to burn!
+
+SAM: We need some healing potions and things.
+
+LAURA: Yes. I bet there’s places in–
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll go by Pumat’s later. It’ll be fine.
+
+LAURA: We could go to the Silken Terrace!
+
+SAM: What is the Silken Terrace?
+
+MATT: At this point now–
+
+LIAM: Seven, eight, nine?
+
+MATT: Oh, no, now it’s probably about 10:30, 11
+o'clock.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, there’s always one of those Pumats
+around.
+
+SAM: Okay. What’s the mission for tonight,
+though?
+
+TRAVIS: Tri-Spire. Pillow Trove. Get Jester’s
+package. Get turnt up. Get some healing potions.
+
+LIAM: Wait, we’re getting turnt up before we go to
+Pumat’s?
+
+LAURA: Why not?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: Do you think Pumat is going to be open at two
+in the morning?
+
+TRAVIS: At Ren Faire, the more you drink, the more
+you spend.
+
+LAURA: Why do we need to go now?
+
+LIAM: We don’t.
+
+LAURA: It���s late.
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: We did a lot today.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, I’m so tired!
+
+LAURA: That’s probably because you just drank 15
+drinks.
+
+TRAVIS: Lead the way, Jester!
+
+TALIESIN: Up early in the morning?
+
+LAURA: Up early in the m– Are we staying at the
+Pillow Trove?
+
+MARISHA: Pillow Trove!
+
+TALIESIN: Yes!
+
+LAURA: Did you guys divide the money up?
+
+TALIESIN and SAM: Yes.
+
+LAURA: What did I get?
+
+TALIESIN and SAM: 228.
+
+SAM: And five silver.
+
+MATT: All right. You exit from the forum, the
+Victory Pit, out into the night. The event is
+
+still going on though most of the people have filtered out.
+Everyone who remains is either pretty tossed or is in the
+
+process of closing down their various carts and
+established places of sale. The Pentamarket is
+
+closing. The festival pushed it a little for some
+establishments. You make your way, walking towards
+
+the Tri-Spires, and that’s we’re going to take our
+break.
+
+MARISHA: We’re at a break!
+
+MATT: Yeah, we’re taking a break because it’s 8:50.
+
+SAM: It’s still your birthday!
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: We’ll be right back. However, we do have our
+Wyrmwood giveaway. Tonight, we have the quilted
+
+maple dice tray. With our leather interior.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s really cool!
+
+MATT: You may touch it. Not only do you win it,
+but you win it touched by Laura Bailey. The price
+
+just went up by 20%. The quilted
+maple one will go to one of you lucky winners in
+
+the US or Canada, excluding Quebec. Come into the
+Twitch chat. Tonight’s term is “Victory.” Put in
+
+the word “Victory” in the chat to be entered, only
+once. More than once and you’ll be disqualified.
+
+We’ll come back at the end of the break to
+announce the winner. See you guys there in a
+
+little bit.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: And welcome back, everybody. Before we jump
+back into the game, we have our winner of our
+
+fantastic dice box from Wyrmwood: it is
+DeadLikeCarrion. DeadLikeCarrion, congratulations.
+
+Danoba will get your information, we will get that
+sent out to you A.S.A.P., but well done.
+
+MARISHA: And thank you, Paul, for getting us all
+ice cream!
+
+MATT: Yes! We had break ice cream. Nobody tell my
+trainer.
+
+LAURA: I had the fro-yo, because it’s healthier.
+
+MATT: You guys are leaving the Pentamarket in the
+late hours of the evening, making your way towards
+
+the Tri-Spires. As you approach the outskirts of
+the outer wall, the gates open, the guards there
+
+posted, there are three there waiting. They begin
+to approach as your troupe begins to arrive. One
+
+of them steps up, goes, “Halt please, we’ve– Oh,
+right, please, you may continue.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re them.
+
+LIAM: Very obviously holding and petting my cat
+and looking at all three of them as we walk by.
+
+MATT: One of them is the guy that kicked him
+originally. He’s not the one that interfaced with
+
+you, but he’s standing by the side there, just
+waiting. He watches you approach as you walk by,
+
+and he goes–
+
+LIAM: Guten abend.
+
+MATT: He swallows and doesn’t respond. Just looks
+off in the distance.
+
+ASHLEY: Caleb, what did you say? Guten–
+
+LIAM: Abend.
+
+LAURA: Good night? Hello?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s–
+
+TALIESIN: Gluten almonds.
+
+LAURA: Have a pleasant evening.
+
+MARISHA and ASHLEY: Gluten almonds.
+
+TRAVIS: Where are we going?
+
+SAM: I mean, we’re going to the Pillow Trove. I
+support you, Jester, but I mean–
+
+LAURA: I support you too in all of your endeavors,
+Nott.
+
+SAM: Okay, then let’s go there.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way through the
+streets of the Tri-Spire–
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, apologies. I pull Beau backward
+by the arm. And– no. Long enough until we fall
+
+back a bit, and wait to see that the group is not
+paying attention.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Can you get me into that library tomorrow?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I told you a fucking secret though.
+I also kind of told Yasha the secret. You and
+
+Yasha know the secret.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not really that much of a secret.
+
+LIAM: Okay, but the library is a thing that we can
+do before we leave this city?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. As long as nothing crazy happens,
+I’m assuming.
+
+LIAM: I am just hoping to look at books. Is that
+all right?
+
+MARISHA: I know. I know exactly what you want to
+do. Yeah, should be all right.
+
+LIAM: Good. Great.
+
+MARISHA: What are you looking for, just more
+spells? Or anything else in particular?
+
+LIAM: No, I mean, spells you can find, you know,
+digging in 1000 year old laboratories. I want to
+
+learn. I want what is not readily available to
+all.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know if that is something that I
+would be allowed to look at. What kind of
+
+clearance do you have?
+
+MARISHA: They’re not going to let you see the
+super secretive weird shit in the back.
+
+LIAM: History?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, there’s tons of history, man. They
+forced history down my throat.
+
+LIAM: Okay, this is good.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, wait though.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s two times I’ve tried to bail out
+of this conversation.
+
+MARISHA: I know. Real good at it. Why are you
+afraid of fire?
+
+TRAVIS: Great segue.
+
+LIAM: Uh. Well.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, I just want to know
+because I’m going to be taking you around books,
+
+and your relationship with fire is, you know.
+
+LIAM: Are you going to set the books on fire?
+
+MARISHA: No, are you going to set the books on
+fire?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to read them.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take you in the library if you tell
+me why you’re afraid of fire.
+
+SAM: (whispering) Oh, manipulation!
+
+MARISHA: One secret traded for another. It’s a
+fair price, I think.
+
+LIAM: Is there anyone around?
+
+MATT: There’s the group ahead of you, maybe 15
+feet, and you’re approaching the exterior of the
+
+Pillow Trove.
+
+LAURA: I’m giving Yasha a piggy-back ride.
+
+MARISHA: Do you know where to find me when you’re
+ready?
+
+MATT: Do you consent to this piggy-back ride?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I have my feet linked so I can
+monkey piggy-back ride.
+
+MATT: That’s amazing. There’s the Zauber Spire,
+glistening and lit from beneath. Assembled, and no
+
+longer akimbo. You guys approach the exterior of
+the Pillow Trove. There’s these steps that ascend
+
+to the entryway, the arched door frame, and you
+enter the beautiful–
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take you to the library as soon as I
+get my payment. Drinks?
+
+SAM: We’re out in public, and we’re in front of a
+hotel.
+
+MARISHA: Inside the hotel has drinks.
+
+LAURA: I like that you have a handle on your mug,
+but you don’t use the handle.
+
+MARISHA: Well, it’s a little unbalanced. I have to
+choose if I’m going to commit to the handle, or if
+
+I’m going to commit to the cup.
+
+LAURA: Maybe do the thing you just did.
+
+MARISHA: This is not bad.
+
+LIAM: But the handle gets– I do the same thing
+with this cup. I grab it by this the whole time.
+
+MATT: As you make your way into the–
+
+LIAM: How do you do it, Sam?
+
+MATT: The Pillow Trove, in its beautiful marvel
+presentation there awaits you as you come into the
+
+well-lit interior. There’s a number of candles
+that are hanging on small hooks in the walls, and
+
+dangle there, and the flames flicker to light the
+archway, and the inside. There you see, sitting at
+
+the table, going through a stack of parchment, is
+Madam Luenna, who you had briefly seen before in
+
+this beautiful red dress.
+
+LAURA: She’s gorgeous. Hey, that lady, that’s who
+I was trying to look like that night, you
+
+remember, when we were at the– yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Well kept, almost bouncy brunette hair, and
+golden eyes, and she smiles as you enter. “Hello,
+
+"how might I help you this evening?”
+
+LAURA: Hi, do you remember me? I was here before.
+
+MATT: “I do remember, yes. Good to see you.”
+
+LAURA: You too. Did you know we just won in the
+Victory Pit?
+
+MATT: “I did not. I did not attend that portion of
+the festival, but congratulations!”
+
+LAURA: Thank you, we’re kind of famous now.
+
+MATT: “That’s wonderful.”
+
+LAURA: We think we might stay here tonight, too,
+because we thought it would be nice for The Pillow
+
+Trove to have famous people staying here for you.
+
+MATT: “But of course. Is that a room for each of
+you?”
+
+MARISHA: She’s an Instagram model!
+
+LAURA: It depends on what you want to offer us as
+the Victories of the Victory Pit.
+
+MATT: “Well, I’m happy to offer you rooms at the
+discounted rate of the charging price we give to
+
+"it. It’s still an establishment.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes, but we would tell everybody we
+stayed here all the time.
+
+MATT: “Well, it doesn’t work that way, my dear.”
+
+LAURA: I’m really bad at persuading people today,
+apparently.
+
+SAM: Do you want me to try?
+
+LAURA: I’m doing a really bad job. I have a
+package probably here anyway, so I’m going to
+
+check on that. I’ll let everybody else talk to you
+about how famous we are now.
+
+MATT: “All right. How many rooms would you like?”
+
+TRAVIS: I think two will do just fine.
+
+MATT: “Two rooms. All right.”
+
+MARISHA: However many can bunk together, I guess.
+
+MATT: Okay. Two rooms, purchased for the night.
+If I recall correctly, that would put you around four gold.
+
+LAURA: That’s it?! Four gold! Do you know how much
+she wanted to charge me before? I’m going to leave
+
+it though, because I am walking away. I’m at the
+front desk.
+
+ASHLEY: Four gold for two rooms?
+
+MATT: For each room.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll cover the fellas’ room. Here’s four
+gold.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Here’s four more for me.
+
+MATT: This was her ceding to the Victory Pit
+victory and return customer price. Jester, what
+
+are you doing?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to see if my package is here from
+my mom.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you head to where you went
+previously, which is a little side chamber.
+
+There’s a young woman there waiting, who is
+falling asleep at the desk. “Oh, I’m sorry! I
+
+"didn’t see you there. Can I help you?”
+
+LAURA: I blend in with my environment very often.
+It’s common.
+
+MATT: “Oh. Well, very well done.”
+
+LAURA: I have a package here, probably.
+
+MATT: “Name?”
+
+LAURA: Jester.
+
+MATT: “Jester. Hold on just a second.” She gets up
+and walks out of the room. A minute passes. Two
+
+minutes pass.
+
+TRAVIS: Anything on the desk of value?
+
+MATT: On the desk of this woman who has left?
+There looks to be a small oil lantern set there
+
+that’s flickering. It’s well-made.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice pen or anything?
+
+MATT: No, it looks like she took it with her.
+
+TRAVIS: I keep waiting.
+
+MATT: About five minutes pass before she enters
+with a small parcel under her arm, and goes, “I
+
+"believe this is to you, Jester, correct?” It’s a
+small box about that big, it says “Jester” written
+
+in nice handwriting on it.
+
+LAURA: Oh yes, that would be the one I’m
+expecting. Thank you so much!
+
+SAM: It came?
+
+LAURA: It came, I guess! See, I told you my mom is
+really cool, you guys!
+
+SAM: I’m sorry I doubted you!
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re all going to be here to see this
+open, right?
+
+LAURA: (whispers) It’s probably a lot of money, so
+we should open it up in the rooms.
+
+TALIESIN: Very fair.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for your help. We’ll retire for
+the evening.
+
+SAM: Do we typically tip when someone–
+
+MATT: She does have her hand open.
+
+LAURA: Oh, here. Of course, of course! Here’s two
+gold for you.
+
+SAM: Two gold? Jesus!
+
+LAURA: I’m very wealthy now!
+
+MATT: Thank you very much, madam. Have a wonderful
+night and stay here at The Pillow Trove.
+
+LAURA: Now we don’t have to worry about things
+anymore, you guys!
+
+MATT: As you guys head back, the keys are given
+out to both of you. The madam leads you up to your
+
+chambers. On your way up, she goes, “Are there any
+other services that you will require while you’re
+
+"staying here this evening to celebrate?”
+
+SAM: What services are available?
+
+MATT: “All kinds of services.”
+
+MARISHA: Bottle service?
+
+MATT: “Wine can be delivered. Companionship can be
+provided.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit!
+
+TALIESIN: Massage?
+
+ASHLEY: What kind of companionship do you have
+here available?
+
+MATT: “Ah, well–” You see her trying to find the
+words for it. She goes, “Likely the best kind of
+
+"companionship you can find.”
+
+LAURA: Not the best kind.
+
+SAM: The best available.
+
+TRAVIS: You don’t happen to work with the Ruby of
+the Sea, do you?
+
+MATT: “No, I know of her. She has a reputation.
+But we have fine companions here as well, to–”
+
+LAURA: She has the best reputation, you know.
+
+MATT: “She has a great reputation, yes. But she
+works outside of the Empire. Should you be
+
+"interested, we have a number of individuals across
+the spectrum who would be happy to lend you an
+
+"ear, and help ease your mind.”
+
+MARISHA: Jester does that too.
+
+LAURA: Hmm? Who does that?
+
+MARISHA: Lend an ear. Give advice. Ease your mind.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I do ease people’s minds.
+
+MARISHA: Just saying that’s how it sounded before,
+too.
+
+SAM: Yasha, if you were to partake of a companion,
+what kind of companion are you interested in? Is
+
+it like a beast type of a thing, or–
+
+LAURA: Like a tall one or a short one?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know, just one that I– maybe
+lots?
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe lots?
+
+LAURA: What color eyes do you like the most? Do
+you want people with one color eye and the other
+
+color eye, like you–
+
+MATT: “How about you come and find me when you’ve
+decided whether or not?”
+
+MARISHA: Is there like a– never mind.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, shall we?
+
+LAURA: Yes, yes.
+
+MATT: The madam leaves.
+
+LIAM: Can I ask an out-of-character question? As a
+citizen of the Empire, how much does Caleb already
+
+know about the Cobalt folk?
+
+MATT: The Cobalt Soul? You know of them, in the
+way that you know of the people at City Hall that
+
+keep all the records of buildings and such. You
+know it exists, everyone knows it’s part of the
+
+structure, but nobody really pays much attention
+because it’s a place of learning beyond what the
+
+usual learning process is. Certain people would.
+
+MARISHA: Like the public libraries of today.
+
+LIAM: Right, you’re a librarian.
+
+MATT: Kind of, yeah. People know it
+exists, but the few people that really take an
+
+interest in it either end up pursuing it, or
+adjacently to it. Those people end up acquiring
+
+more knowledge and end up becoming more prominent in
+the society. It’s almost an unused resource,
+
+unfortunately.
+
+LIAM: Their political affiliation?
+
+MATT: Within the Empire? They’re one of the many
+sanctioned places of worship for the Knowing
+
+Mistress. But they’re with the Empire, they
+function within the Empire, and the individuals
+
+that run each Archive are appointed by the Crown.
+As with all places of worship in the kingdom,
+
+whoever helms those locations– the High Priest,
+the High Archivist, whoever they are– they are
+
+appointed by the Crown and work directly for the
+Empire. All religion here is employed by the
+
+Empire at the highest point.
+
+TALIESIN: So long as there’s a Cobalt Soul
+Scholastic Fair, really.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark?
+
+MARISHA: Yes! I want my pencil set!
+
+MATT: That’s after winter, unfortunately. You have
+to wait until spring for those to come around
+
+again. God, I miss those.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit. Everybody got those gifts brought to
+the room.
+
+MARISHA: It felt like a festival inside your
+school.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it was amazing.
+
+LAURA: Do they still have those?
+
+ASHLEY: Let’s make one for adults!
+
+MATT: Guys! Reading’s cool! No, legitimately, it
+is.
+
+MARISHA: Support 826LA! Thank you to those who
+did.
+
+MATT: You head to your rooms at the Pillow Trove.
+
+LAURA: Okay, when we get the money, we should all
+go out and buy new outfits, and we should go have
+
+a feast, and maybe we can buy new clothes for the
+horses too, because I bet they would really like that.
+
+ASHLEY: But you don’t need to give us money.
+
+LAURA: It’s for everyone! I open up the box that
+says my name right on it. It says it right here,
+
+my name.
+
+MATT: First off, the package, as you shake it a
+bit, it has various objects inside of it. It
+
+rattles a bit.
+
+LAURA: It’s not as heavy as I expected it to be.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+SAM: Maybe it’s a check.
+
+LAURA: That’s probably what it is. I have no idea
+what that is.
+
+MATT: It’s about eight to ten pounds. As you open
+the package and unwrap it, it’s pretty well
+
+wrapped, you open the parcel and on the inside
+there is a bag of coin about that big there.
+
+LAURA: It’s probably platinum, because it’s
+lighter.
+
+MATT: There is a small bundle that’s wrapped with
+twine, and there’s a letter.
+
+LAURA: Ooh! (singing)
+
+SAM: Beautiful handwriting.
+
+LAURA: Yes. She’s really amazing. Do you want me
+to read it out loud?
+
+SAM: Yes, of course!
+
+LAURA: Okay, okay. “My darling Jester,” that’s me,
+“I do so hope your journeys have been safe,
+
+"fruitful, and wondrous. I’ve always wished you to
+see the beauty of the world around us, and while
+
+"the circumstances perhaps were not the most
+favorable, it has allowed you the freedom to
+
+"become your own woman.”
+
+SAM: That’s nice!
+
+LAURA: I spent a lot of time inside, I told you
+this, yes. Okay. “To show all of Wildemount and
+
+"beyond the gifts you have to offer, and the joys
+you have to give. My sweet girl, how I miss you.”
+
+I miss her too, so much! “Your laughter, your
+energy, I’ve been sick in your absence.” Oh,
+
+because I’m such a healer, you know, and I took
+care of her, so that makes me so sad. “But it is
+
+"the trial any mother must endure, I suppose.
+You’re on your own now, and while I will always
+
+"miss that little girl, I’m equally eager to see
+the woman you will become. Tensions here are less,
+
+"but not absent. Given time, I hope things will
+vanish into the past, and you may come to see me
+
+"once more! Until then, I have included a small
+trifle, some things to keep you comfortable,
+
+"creating, and free. I love you. Your Ruby,” my
+mama, “Marian Lavorre.” She doesn’t tell many
+
+people her real name, you know.
+
+SAM: Marian? That’s a beautiful name.
+
+LAURA: Isn’t it?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a nice letter.
+
+LAURA: I love my mom so much.
+
+ASHLEY: It looks like she loves you very much,
+too.
+
+LAURA: Let’s see what she sent us, okay? I open
+the little package.
+
+MATT: Okay. The package contains a vial about that
+big, filled with dark liquid. You shake it there.
+
+LAURA: Do I recognize it?
+
+MATT: You do. She keeps it, usually, by her
+materials. It’s a bottle of her lavender perfume.
+
+LAURA, SAM, and MARISHA: Ooh!
+
+SAM: Chanel!
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I was going to say! Wow!
+
+LAURA: It smells really nice! Everybody really
+likes this smell!
+
+MATT: It’s a smell that’s very much affiliated
+with her, and as you smell it, a wave of nostalgia
+
+comes over you. Your childhood flashes through you
+again. Within that bundle as well, you see there
+
+are five small ink vials of different colors.
+There’s a red ink, there’s a blue ink, there’s a
+
+green ink, and then two black.
+
+LAURA: Blue, green, yes!
+
+SAM: Color printer.
+
+MATT: Magenta, cyan. (laughs)
+
+LAURA: This is so I can keep painting. I used up a
+lot of the paint that I had at the festival.
+
+TALIESIN: Hmm?
+
+MATT: And 200 gold in the pouch.
+
+LAURA: 200 gold?!
+
+SAM: That’s a lot of money! For all of us.
+
+LAURA: That is a really good amount of money. 200
+gold is a lot of money, you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you expecting more?
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean, when we left, you know, I had
+a lot more than that. But, you know, it’s because
+
+I’m growing up, and we probably are learning about
+how to spend money better, so she’s teaching me,
+
+probably, that 5000 gold is not needed every
+time.
+
+SAM: She gave you 5000 gold before?
+
+LAURA: (panicked exhale) I really thought there
+was going to be more money in here.
+
+SAM: Did you tell her that you were out of money?
+
+LAURA: I did! I did tell her that!
+
+SAM: And this is all she sent?
+
+LAURA: But you know what, that’s totally fine! 200
+gold is really generous of her!
+
+SAM: Maybe. I don’t know your mother, maybe she
+was testing the postal system. Sending a small
+
+amount as a test. You can write back and say, “Got
+it safely, feel free to send more.”
+
+LAURA: That’s a really good idea.
+
+SAM: Maybe that was it. Because I wouldn’t want to
+send 5000 gold over the mail system. There’s
+
+people out there who steal the mail!
+
+TRAVIS: (laughter) Whoosh! (imitates dramatic
+music)
+
+MARISHA: You made an incredibly excellent point.
+It is so easy to defraud the mail.
+
+ASHLEY: Plus, 200 gold is a lot of money. That’s
+more than I pretty much have right now.
+
+LAURA: It is a lot of money!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s more than we used to make in a
+year, easily.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a lot to send somebody in a birthday
+card.
+
+LAURA: Caleb?
+
+LIAM: What?
+
+LAURA: I’m really sorry about that one time when
+you were talking about money with me, okay?
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s fine.
+
+SAM: The most important thing is that she loves
+and cares for you, and wants to support you from
+
+afar.
+
+LAURA: That is really great. She sent my favorite
+colors. Red and blue and green and black. Those
+
+are my favorites to paint with!
+
+SAM: Those are the absolute most basic you can
+have.
+
+LAURA: You can mix them. She knew I had a lot of
+white already on me, so I can make lots of
+
+colors.
+
+SAM: Mostly paper is white, too.
+
+LAURA: Well, it doesn’t work like that.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how it works.
+
+TRAVIS: Are we going back out, or are we turning
+in? Some of us are beat to shit.
+
+LAURA: Do you guys want to split up the 200?
+
+MARISHA: Jester, why don’t you keep that?
+
+ASHLEY: Jester, it’s your money.
+
+MARISHA: We just kicked ass and made 200. We’ll do
+it again tomorrow.
+
+LAURA: That is true. I’m going to put this in a
+special place, so that we have it in case we need
+
+it. Okay?
+
+MARISHA: Sure. The emergency fund.
+
+LAURA: Exactly. This will be “Mom’s Emergency
+Fund.”
+
+MARISHA: Sure. Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to paint that on the bag. “Mom’s
+Emergency Fund.”
+
+TRAVIS: All right, well, I’m getting tired. I’m
+going to turn in to the other room, if anybody
+
+feels like joining. Congratulations, Jester.
+That’s very exciting.
+
+TALIESIN: How deep of a sleeper are you?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know, I feel like after a day like
+today, pretty fucking deep.
+
+TALIESIN: Cool. We’ll find out. I’m going to go
+downstairs
+
+MATT: Okay. All right, so you head downstairs.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to at least need the best
+masseuse they have who’s also willing to do other
+
+interesting things. And someone to feed me and
+talk to me as the entire thing is going on.
+
+MATT: The madam goes, “Well, I can definitely
+provide those requests. That sounds like a two
+
+"companion request.”
+
+TALIESIN: I would imagine so.
+
+SAM: Wait, just so I’m clear: Do you get a full
+release massage while you’re eating a steak or
+
+something?
+
+TALIESIN: Fruit. Don’t be crass. That’s just
+weird.
+
+MATT: “Preference? Male, female, in between?”
+
+TALIESIN: Best hands, best conversationalist.
+Surprise me.
+
+MATT: “Very well. That will run you 20 gold.”
+
+TALIESIN: I pay it, and you can sleep through it
+or not, if you like.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just going to be turning my face to
+the wall.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome back to college, man!
+
+TRAVIS: College roommates.
+
+MATT: As the rest of you are turning in for the
+evening, to relax. You all eventually get
+
+yourselves comfortable. Caleb, you’re reading
+through your book. Then, at the door, (knocking)
+
+of the male room, and it opens up. There you see a
+young man and a young woman both enter, in nice
+
+silk robes.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s in the room?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes. Had you not put that together
+yet?
+
+MATT: Both human.
+
+TALIESIN: We got two rooms.
+
+MATT: “All right, so, who requested the service?”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh excellent! Are you on the bed?
+
+TRAVIS: Not anymore.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. I’m going to take the bed, and I’m
+going to take my full massage and otherwise.
+
+ASHLEY: And otherwise?
+
+TALIESIN: If you would also like some food, I’m
+sure they’d be willing to–
+
+MATT: They bring in a small platter of grapes, and
+other fruit.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take an apple and say: Godspeed. I
+will leave the room.
+
+MATT: Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I leave the room and actually run downstairs
+and ask the front desk if they have another room.
+
+MATT: “Yes, of course, another room can be
+provided.”
+
+LIAM: How much is that?
+
+MATT: “For your troupe, that would be four gold
+for a third.”
+
+LIAM: Excellent. Ja. Here you go.
+
+MATT: “All right, here’s your key. It’s two doors
+down from the one on the left that you originally
+
+"purchased with your friends.”
+
+MARISHA: Is it the four ladies in a room?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m doing the old college hallway sit.
+Just outside the door like– That’s my room.
+
+Occupied.
+
+LAURA: Can we hear? Are we next door to this room?
+Can we hear what’s happening?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I’m sure at the very least I knock
+on the door and say; I’m having fruit if anyone
+
+wants anything.
+
+SAM: I rolled a 14.
+
+LAURA: I rolled a seven.
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a 16 plus– Oh, 19?
+
+TRAVIS: 18.
+
+LIAM: I rolled a one. Are we done taking
+donations?
+
+MATT: Taking donations?
+
+LIAM: You know, for 826? That’s all done now,
+right?
+
+MATT: I think so, yeah.
+
+LIAM: So now they’re just straight-up bad.
+
+MARISHA: Man, in context that was weird as fuck! I
+rolled a 19.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s mostly ridiculous conversation
+through this whole thing.
+
+LAURA: Can we hear?
+
+MATT: All you hear are giggles.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I poke my head out. Do I see Fjord?
+
+MATT: You see Fjord in the hallway. Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Psst.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey. How you doing?
+
+MARISHA: You’re in the most expensive hotel in 100
+miles and you’re in the hallway. That’s real
+
+fucking funny.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Molly got a guy and a girl that
+walked in with food.
+
+MARISHA: You want to come in our room so you’re
+not in the hall?
+
+TRAVIS: Do you have people in there with food?
+
+MARISHA: I have Nott and Jester and Jester has
+pastries.
+
+LAURA: Yasha’s in here, too!
+
+MARISHA: We could order room service. You want to
+come in and order room service?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that sounds fine.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do that. We order room service.
+
+LIAM: About when this is happening, I pull the
+wire out of my coat and hold it into my palmed
+
+hands and Message to Nott. Nott, will you find an
+excuse to bring Beauregard and yourself to my room
+
+you saw me go into?
+
+SAM: Message received.
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+SAM: Huh? Nothing. I didn’t say anything.
+
+LAURA: You said “Message received.”
+
+SAM: I was practicing a new catchphrase.
+
+LAURA: It’s weird.
+
+SAM: That’s why I’m practicing.
+
+LAURA: You should try a different one.
+
+MARISHA: I kind of like it. I don’t know. Like,
+you hit someone–
+
+SAM and MARISHA: Message received!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s great. I’m kind of into it!
+
+SAM: It’s a little heady.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. You have to unpack in the moment.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Hey, you know what? Did you order the
+room service yet?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: We called down?
+
+SAM: I think the phone’s broken, so maybe me and
+Beau should go deliver the order downstairs.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Yes. Tell them we want cookies and milk for
+sure.
+
+ASHLEY: A rat–
+
+SAM: Oh! We didn’t eat our rats yet!
+
+ASHLEY: Well, we can get them here, and then save
+those for another–
+
+SAM: I mean, they’ll die!
+
+MATT: The rats are currently back at the Leaky
+Tap.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s right.
+
+MATT: Well, no, you haven’t. No, you still have
+them, you haven’t gone back.
+
+SAM: Should we toast now?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, yeah. I am pretty hungry.
+
+LAURA: But Yasha likes to cook hers, remember.
+
+ASHLEY: You don’t like to cook yours?
+
+SAM: Uh, no.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott, that’s crazy. I mean, I’ll try it,
+but I feel like it’s much– Do you want me to have
+
+them cook it? Have you ever had it cooked?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+ASHLEY: With a little salt, little pepper.
+
+SAM: No.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know if they will cook rats here,
+though.
+
+ASHLEY: No?
+
+LAURA: Most of the places that charge a lot of
+money for rooms don’t usually cook rats. But they
+
+do have other animals that they will cook for you.
+
+ASHLEY: What do they have?
+
+LAURA: Probably like a cow, or a deer, or an
+owlbear or something.
+
+MARISHA: How about this: we’ll tell them to give
+us the chef’s choice. The special.
+
+MATT: The giggling gets louder from the other
+room.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god. I can’t tell who that’s coming
+from.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god. Come on, let’s go.
+
+SAM: Give me your rat and I’ll have them cook it
+and bring it back for you.
+
+MARISHA: We’re spending enough money on this
+place.
+
+ASHLEY: Are you sure you won’t take it?
+
+SAM: I won’t eat your rat.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you promise me?
+
+SAM: Do you promise not to kill me in my sleep
+because you’re a Xhorhasian spy?
+
+TALIESIN: (loud giggling)
+
+SAM: If I don’t eat your rat, you can’t kill me in
+my sleep because you’re a Xhorhasian spy.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: With a (squeak) as you pull it away.
+
+SAM: All right. Let’s go order some food.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You make your way to Caleb’s room?
+
+SAM: As soon as we get out of the room, I say: I
+was told to bring you to Caleb. I don’t know why.
+
+MARISHA: Can we go order food first? Then we’ll go
+hit Caleb, because it’s going to be, like, 45-60
+
+minutes to deliver it.
+
+SAM: Sure. Right, it does take a while to deliver.
+All right, we go order food first.
+
+MATT: All right, you go order food, for the
+breadth of the evening meals it costs we’ll say
+
+one gold, five silver for food for everybody.
+
+LAURA: What do you guys want to do in the room
+now?
+
+SAM: I’m going to send a few Messages out. Caleb,
+what room are you in? Caleb, what room are you in?
+
+Caleb, what room?
+
+LIAM: If I eventually catch it, I give Nott the
+room number.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay. He’s in room six.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way to Caleb’s room.
+
+SAM: (knocking)
+
+MARISHA: (knocking)
+
+LAURA: Jesus.
+
+LIAM: Come in.
+
+SAM: I brought the monk. Are we discussing some
+escape plans?
+
+LIAM: Potentially. You know, we’re leaving soon,
+and Beauregard has an in at one of the bigger
+
+libraries in the city and I want to go there
+before we leave.
+
+SAM: Excellent, let’s go. Tomorrow, right? When
+they’re open.
+
+LIAM: Yes, but Beauregard has given me a
+condition. She had some questions for me, and I
+
+would like to answer them, but I don’t feel right
+telling her and not telling you, so I would love
+
+for you to stay here for a few minutes.
+
+SAM: Sure, yes, whatever you want, Caleb. It
+sounds serious.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard, may I ask you a question to
+start?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: How do you feel about the Empire?
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I mean–
+
+LIAM: Are you in favor of how things are going
+here?
+
+MARISHA: No, but I’m not in favor of many things.
+I don’t like a lot of things. Kind of have a
+
+problem with authority and they’re like the
+epitome of authority. I watched my father
+
+sacrifice a lot to try and impress those people.
+I’m not sure what it was for. Seems like a lot.
+
+LIAM: Are you comfortable with business as usual?
+
+MARISHA: What? How do you mean?
+
+LIAM: Do you approve of how the Empire is going?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not super invested in the
+political spectrum, I just don’t want any part of
+
+it. So no? I think it could be better. No.
+
+LIAM: Is she lying to me about being not
+invested?
+
+MATT: I mean, that’s up to you if you want to–
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+MATT: As far as I know, yeah, she’s being pretty
+forthright.
+
+LIAM: Do I have to shout, “Insight check,” or–
+
+MATT: No, it’s up to her whether or not she
+decides if she needs to or not.
+
+MARISHA: Marisha’s telling you, Beau is being
+genuine.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh. Not super invested about how the empire
+is going?
+
+MARISHA: I think–
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody’s lying!
+
+MARISHA: I have no investment in their success or
+failure. I think most of them tend to be scumbags
+
+who want monetary and influential gain, and I
+think they treat their poor pretty shitty and they
+
+treat their elite pretty great, and I think that’s
+sucky. Yeah, I think they’re garbage people, but
+
+Molly thinks I’m a garbage person–
+
+SAM: Trash person.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, a trash person. If they’re garbage
+people, I’m their rare cousin, the trash person.
+
+LIAM: I would like to get if my reading on if that
+is genuine or not. Yeah?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so, Liam asking a question, and this
+is your choice. It’s just an idea that popped in
+
+my head. Could I request that everybody but Sam
+and Marisha leave the table?
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Can we get everybody else but Sam and
+Marisha to leave?
+
+LAURA: Bitch! Fine, bitch! I didn’t want to listen
+anyway, bitch!
+
+SAM: That means you, too, Matt!
+
+MATT: Oh, sure. Well, then!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I–
+
+TRAVIS: (yelling)
+
+MARISHA: I watched my father sacrifice a lot to
+get where he was, and I’m not sure if it was
+
+fucking worth it. So the Empire doesn’t lean
+favorably in my spectrum. But I also don’t care if
+
+they really live or die or whatever.
+
+LIAM: Well, I really want to go to the library
+tomorrow.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: This may be a very stupid decision of mine.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: What does she want from you?
+
+LIAM: Would you be willing to leave with me
+tomorrow if I asked you to?
+
+SAM: Of course.
+
+LIAM: Just the two of us?
+
+SAM: Absolutely. Right away. Whatever you want.
+But why?
+
+MARISHA: Is the secret that valuable?
+
+LIAM: I am going to tell you the story of how I
+murdered my mother and father.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+LIAM: When I was younger, I grew up in a small
+township outside of Rexxentrum called Blumenthal.
+
+My mother’s name was Una. My father’s name was
+Leofric. Everyone was very excited about me when I
+
+was young. I was bright and confident. People used
+to say that I glided through life and everything
+
+just worked for me. As I got older, it became
+clear that I had a knack for the arcane. Everyone
+
+talked about this Soltryce Academy, maybe I would
+go there someday. The way they do things at that
+
+Academy, they don’t take all comers, they look for
+the diamond in the rough and every couple of years
+
+they find one. But when I was a young man,
+adolescent, really, they found three of us.
+
+Another boy and a girl, and–
+
+SAM: From your town?
+
+LIAM: Ja, from Blumenthal. And we were
+accepted.
+
+SAM: How old were you?
+
+LIAM: I was young.
+
+MARISHA: What’s young? Teenager?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Anyway, we went there. I studied for a
+year. I worked so hard. It came easier to me than
+
+the other two, but they were also very
+accomplished. There were other students from other
+
+parts of the Empire there, and a little over a
+year of learning all they had to impart, I met a
+
+man named Trent Ikithon. He became our teacher.
+
+MARISHA: Why didn’t you say anything earlier?
+
+LIAM: Earlier when, earlier tonight? Earlier a
+week ago? What do you mean?
+
+MARISHA: When we were talking to Trent. You know
+we were talking to Trent.
+
+LIAM: After a year of studying in the main school,
+Trent handpicked all three of us again, and we
+
+left the school proper and went with him to a home
+out in the countryside where he trained us. It was
+
+a good time. We believed in the Empire, we were
+going to keep it strong. He was cruel. He hurt us
+
+a lot. Made us go through extreme circumstances,
+but we got strong. I also fell in love, but that’s
+
+another story.
+
+MARISHA: One of the other students.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. We rose through the ranks and it was
+the Empire over all, and eventually, he wanted to
+
+test our allegiance, so strangers were brought
+in– traitors. Disgusting people, traitors to
+
+this empire, and we killed them.
+
+SAM: You were just students?
+
+LIAM: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: He made you executioners?
+
+LIAM: We wanted to be.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, that’s deeply fucked up, you know
+that, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. A few months of studying, of a little
+bit of torture, a little bit of murdering
+
+dissidents and traitors and deviants.
+
+MARISHA: Then one day your parents are brought in
+as traitors. No?
+
+LIAM: No. We were ready to graduate, and the last
+test of our allegiance was– I’m getting ahead of
+
+myself. I went on a trip home and visited my
+parents and when I was there, in the middle of the
+
+night, I awoke and overhead them talking, and went
+to the stair and listened to them talk about
+
+revolution and tearing the Empire down, and I felt
+disgraced and shame for my family. My mother and
+
+my father, who were so wonderful to me when I was
+a child, and were so happy for me to go to the
+
+Academy and believe in the Empire so much. I
+went back to the school and when the three of us
+
+were summoned and told what was expected of us, I
+knew what had to be done. We went to this other
+
+boy’s home first, Eodwulf, and we stood by as he
+killed his parents. We went to Astrid’s house, and
+
+had dinner with them, and she poisoned them. Then
+we went to my home and we grabbed a horse cart,
+
+and in the middle of the night, placed it against
+the door to the home and I set it on fire.
+
+MARISHA: You had to do this to graduate, to prove
+your loyalty.
+
+LIAM: Well, yeah, but it didn’t exactly go
+according to that plan because as soon as I heard
+
+my mother and father screaming inside… I was so
+sure. I was so sure… until I wasn’t, and I broke a bit.
+
+SAM: Did you go in after them?
+
+LIAM: No, I went to an asylum for a number of
+years. I broke. I don’t remember so well what
+
+happened to me there. It was quite a number of
+years. Years later, a woman was there, and she,
+
+another patient, put hands on me, and she took the
+clouds away. She took it all away, and not just my
+
+madness, but the fake memories that Ikithon put in
+my head of my parents.
+
+SAM: Fake memories?
+
+LIAM: Wanting to betr– yes.
+
+SAM: Wait, there was a false memory? He tricked
+you?
+
+MARISHA: Into hearing their talks against the
+Empire, is that what it was?
+
+LIAM: Yes, but it doesn’t matter, because I still
+wanted to do it when I did it.
+
+SAM: But you didn’t know what you were doing–
+
+LIAM: So what?
+
+SAM: You were brainwashed.
+
+LIAM: So what?!
+
+SAM: Programmed.
+
+LIAM: Doesn’t matter, I should have– I’m a
+disgusting person. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, all
+
+that gone, just like that. I ran. Not right away;
+I pretended like nothing had changed for several
+
+weeks. She was stark raving mad 15 minutes later
+herself, the woman who helped me. I killed one of
+
+Trent’s people there, and took this. I pull out
+the necklace. This has been keeping me hidden for
+
+years. For five years.
+
+SAM: What do you mean, hidden?
+
+LIAM: They can find who they want, but not with
+this. They cannot find me. I would really like to
+
+get into that library, because I would–
+
+MARISHA: Like to run again?
+
+LIAM: Hmm? No, I like you all.
+
+MARISHA: You were just talking with Nott about
+running tomorrow.
+
+LIAM: Well, that all depends on you, Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: If I don’t let you in?
+
+LIAM: If you can keep a secret.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, I’m good at keeping secrets. You
+heard us talking to Trent. You know he wants
+
+Yasha, and you’re the only person who knows the
+atrocities that this man– who utterly gave me the
+
+creeps, by the way, so I’m feeling a little bit
+validated in the fact that I read him pretty well–
+
+SAM: I don’t think it’s–
+
+LIAM: Anyway.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, you have a
+responsibility now.
+
+LIAM: Which is?
+
+MARISHA: Keep this guy from hurting more people.
+
+LIAM: Well, that’s precisely why I want into this
+library.
+
+MARISHA: You want to take down Trent. Is that why
+you’re doing all this? You want to take down Trent?
+
+LIAM: Among other things.
+
+MARISHA: Ah. What are you hoping to find?
+
+LIAM: Anybody can make lights. Anybody could send
+a message through a wire. I want to bend reality
+
+to my will.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, you don’t, though. No one wants
+that amount of power and responsibility.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, well, I told you why I am afraid of
+fire. So you are going to bring me to that
+
+library.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t worry, I’ll take you to the
+library. There are two options here: you can
+
+selfishly try and go after this guy for your own
+vendetta, or you can use your motives to keep
+
+others from getting hurt in a very similar way.
+
+LIAM: Both of those are appealing to me.
+
+MARISHA: All right. I know you just make dancing
+lights– or at least you can feel like you just
+
+make dancing lights– but those dancing lights
+make sure I can punch people in the fucking face
+
+whenever I can’t see shit. A little bit of
+teamwork goes a long way.
+
+LIAM: Okay, good. I think Nott and I are going to
+retire now. Maybe you can go get that food for the
+
+others.
+
+MARISHA: Cool, man, cool. Kick me out of the room,
+I get it. Yep, all right.
+
+SAM: You want to stay here?
+
+MARISHA: No, I mean, you just dumped some
+heavy-ass shit like that and then ask me to leave.
+
+No, I get it, it’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: All right, I’ll leave.
+
+LIAM: But you don’t have to leave the table.
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LIAM: I’m not asking you to leave the table.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll keep your secret. We’ll keep all
+this a secret. I don’t think it’s anything to be
+
+ashamed of, though.
+
+LIAM: (laughs slightly hysterically)
+
+MARISHA: We’ll figure it out in time.
+
+LIAM: Goodnight, Beauregard.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb (clicks). Nott.
+
+SAM: Good evening.
+
+MARISHA: I have a charcuterie board coming to the
+girls’ room, if anybody wants any.
+
+LIAM: (door slamming)
+
+SAM: I go over and I throw my arms around him and
+hug him. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t you, it’s not
+
+your fault. It wasn’t you, you were made to do it.
+It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. I know
+
+you don’t realize that now, but you will. This
+pain that you have, that you wear all over you
+
+like a mask, it’s just that, and you can take it
+off someday. I know it hurts, but it wasn’t your
+
+fault. I’m going to keep telling you that until
+you believe me.
+
+LIAM: Are you and I good?
+
+SAM: What you did was awful, truly terrible,
+despicable and unforgivable– until you can
+
+forgive it. At some point, you’ll have to do that.
+I swear to you that I will be at your side until
+
+you do.
+
+LIAM: I have an idea that can make that happen.
+
+SAM: Really?
+
+LIAM: Yes. It will take a lot of hard work.
+
+SAM: A lot of books.
+
+LIAM: And a lot of books.
+
+SAM: I’m in. Whatever you need, just tell me and
+I’ll get it for you.
+
+LIAM: I pull out the silver thread and I start
+putting it around the room, and go over some
+
+notes. I have some ideas already, some ideas I
+had, and I will stay up another hour or two before
+
+going to bed.
+
+MATT: Can we retrieve the rest of the group,
+please? Back to the table. (sharp exhale)
+
+SAM: Fart jokes!
+
+MATT: We got a Caleb lore dump.
+
+MARISHA: Huh?
+
+MATT: Got a Caleb lore dump. As you find
+yourselves reading for a bit, eventually a knock
+
+comes at the door, and a little bit of snacks are
+brought over from the side of the girls’ room, if
+
+you want some. The food arrives at your guys’
+room, and the knock does come at your room, Molly.
+
+As the food arrives, the door opens, and the
+two–
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, is the food arriving?
+
+MATT: The food has arrived as the companions and
+you have completed your evening–
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, in that case, I am going to
+enter–
+
+SAM: You’re cleaning up.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no, I’ve thought about this. I had
+time to think while watching things outside. Not
+
+you guys. I’ve got the remnants of the fruit. I’m
+coming in with the food into their room, and I am
+
+wearing nothing but my tapestry.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I am your god, long may I reign. Eat of
+my fruits.
+
+MARISHA: I just ordered another fruit platter.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s good. I got through a lot of this.
+
+MARISHA: But long may he reign. Huzzah.
+
+LIAM: We’re still pre-sleepy time?
+
+MATT: If there’s something else you want to do.
+
+LIAM: No, I want to go to the bathroom.
+
+MATT: Then you may go to the bathroom if you’d
+like, and we’re going to come back in the
+
+morning.
+
+LIAM: Thanks, Dad!
+
+MATT: Whenever the rest of our group returns?
+
+SAM: Laura and Travis went home, they have a–
+Yeah, Dateline was on?
+
+MARISHA: 60 Minutes.
+
+MATT: Well, until they get here–
+
+SAM: Oh, no, Ashley’s gone, now. It’s just us.
+
+TALIESIN: If anybody had any questions they want
+to ask. Laura’s in the bathroom–
+
+MATT: Gotcha, no worries. (singing) Pregnancy.
+
+TALIESIN: Just looking forward to wearing a giant
+Platinum Dragon. That’s all I wanted.
+
+MATT: As the evening draws to a close, you all get
+probably the finest rest you’ve had in a while.
+
+It’s extravagant rooms, the inner chambers are
+well-decorated, the morning window– as the
+
+drapery is left open, the sun comes through in
+golden beams–
+
+LAURA: Oh no, we missed our stuff.
+
+SAM: It’s morning-time now.
+
+MATT: It’s the morning time. You guys come to
+consciousness.
+
+ASHLEY: We were going to play some Truth or Dare.
+
+LAURA: Well, it’s fine. We did. We totally did.
+
+MATT: You gather yourselves. What are you guys
+doing with the day?
+
+LAURA: Well, I guess we should go back to the
+Leaky Tap there, and–
+
+TRAVIS: Can I ask for everybody to leave the room,
+except for–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: We have a cart.
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, we can load it up.
+
+MARISHA: Where are we going, before our errands?
+Or after our errands? What’s the destination?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get the map.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, the map!
+
+SAM: Are we all back together again? Over
+breakfast?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you guys have all woken up and gotten
+together again. We’ll say for purposes of this
+
+that breakfast has been provided, like brought to
+your room as part of the staying over, but you
+
+finish your morning.
+
+SAM: Like, continental, or like French toast?
+
+MATT: Upper-end continental.
+
+LAURA: You guys totally missed it. We had the
+best time in the room while you guys were gone
+
+for a very long time.
+
+MATT: There you go!
+
+ASHLEY: Fjord and Jester made out.
+
+LAURA: We had a crazy orgy in our room and you
+guys didn’t even want to be part of it.
+
+SAM: Insight check! 11.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m happy to move in whatever direction
+anybody likes.
+
+LAURA: Oh, you know I’m lying.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, I roll, too. I roll, too, because I
+was part of the lie.
+
+SAM: I think she’s lying.
+
+MATT: You backing her up?
+
+LAURA: Did you roll shit, too?
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a four.
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re lying through their teeth.
+
+LAURA: Man.
+
+SAM: Before we leave, shouldn’t we get a lay of
+the land? I mean, I trust my own ears, they’re
+
+very large, but I barely heard half of a
+conversation. I don’t even know really what’s
+
+happening other than I heard that there’s a war
+happening.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the good side of this, then?
+What’s your best-case scenario?
+
+SAM: Well maybe we should do some snooping around
+town and find out if there indeed is a war before
+
+we leave town.
+
+TALIESIN: If they lock the gates, or start
+conscripting–
+
+LAURA: Will they do that?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know what they’d do. All I know
+is I don’t want to hang out, and obviously we’ve
+
+made a bit of a reputation for ourselves.
+
+LAURA: But then, any city we go into, won’t they
+lock us in that city?
+
+SAM: We also have allies here. We have The
+Gentleman–
+
+LAURA: (gasp)
+
+TALIESIN: He’s an ally now.
+
+LAURA: You know what we should do? You guys! Why
+don’t we talk to Dolan about it? He would tell us!
+
+SAM: Dolan! We haven’t even checked in with him!
+
+MARISHA: Oh, shit! We forgot to check in with
+him!
+
+LAURA: He was at the party last night! He was with
+that really cool guy from Marquet.
+
+SAM: We have a bunch of allies. We can’t just up
+and leave without at least saying, like, we’re out.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go talk to Dolan.
+
+TALIESIN: Have you literally never left a town
+without telling everybody because, you know,
+
+there’s a possibility you’re going to get
+conscripted to go fight a war?
+
+SAM: I have never had allies before.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go talk to Dolan, and then we’ll
+leave, and we’ll go to Hupperdook and then we’ll
+
+go to Nogvurot.
+
+SAM: Because those are funny-sounding names?
+
+LAURA: No, because Hupperdook is a funny
+sounding name! Then Nogvurot is where our friends
+
+from the other mercenary group live.
+
+SAM: It’s also where there was a string of
+kidnappings.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: See, that sounds like our speed. Not
+conscripting into fighting on the front lines.
+
+LAURA: We can disguise you as a kid and they could
+kidnap you and you could fight them from the
+
+inside.
+
+SAM: I don’t like this idea.
+
+TRAVIS: How about we go say hi to Dolan, we’ll run
+by The Gentleman, let him know that we’re thinking
+
+about bouncing, and then we’ll be on our way.
+
+ASHLEY: May I take a look at that map, Jester?
+
+LAURA: Of course, Yasha!
+
+MARISHA: Does anyone know who funds the Victory
+Pit?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sure it’s the city, right?
+
+MARISHA: Probably.
+
+LAURA: We could ask Dolan about that, too.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t think they don’t know our names
+now.
+
+LAURA: Can I say that while it was last night, I
+painted a picture with the new paint for my mom?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to ask the front desk if they
+will send it to her. Back to our house in the
+
+Menagerie Coast.
+
+MATT: Yeah. They’re less paints and more colored
+inks. You can purchase paints wherever you want
+
+to, but these are like–
+
+LAURA: I mean, I have paints I guess.
+
+MATT: But you have paints to do it.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’ll paint it with the stuff I have.
+
+MATT: You paint her a little picture.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, colored inks? I didn’t realize that!
+
+MARISHA: Gel pens!
+
+MATT: (clicking)
+
+LAURA: Ooh.
+
+MATT: Postage for sending it off is simple enough
+at that size to be about five silver from here to
+
+Nicodranas.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we should be careful, because
+the longer we’re in town, the more people we talk
+
+to, the more people might decide that they’re
+invested in us staying.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. We’ll keep our eyes open. To
+Dolan’s then.
+
+MATT: To Dolan’s first?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: You guys go to Dolan’s. You want to take
+a field trip?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Where are y'all going?
+
+LIAM: We have to take a trip to Pumat’s for
+supplies and then–
+
+TRAVIS: Insight check! Just kidding. I’m good.
+
+MATT: All right. Who’s going where?
+
+MARISHA: I go wherever Caleb goes.
+
+SAM: Me, too.
+
+LIAM: Pumat, library.
+
+MATT: Pumat, library. The rest of you guys are
+going to Dolan’s?
+
+TALIESIN: To Dolan’s. We’ll meet up at Pumat’s.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. That sounds good. You guys,
+Dolan’s; we’ll go library.
+
+LIAM: We’ll do library first. Then we’ll pull
+Matt.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll pull Matt.
+
+TALIESIN: We can pull Matt’s soul.
+
+MARISHA: Pull Matt Key.
+
+MATT: So. As you guys–
+
+LIAM: (silly voice) Hey, you got your chocolate in
+my peanut butter!
+
+MATT: As you guys exit the Pillow Trove, and you
+make your way outside of the Tri-Spires, the first
+
+thing of note is the tone and the mood of the city
+has shifted dramatically.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+SAM: It’s a more festive atmosphere?
+
+LIAM: It’s a party, girl.
+
+MATT: No. First things first. The skies are gray.
+What little bits of sunlight came through the last
+
+day have completely absconded. The sky is covered
+in gray, nearly stormy clouds. There is an air of
+
+stress and question in the streets as you start
+seeing Righteous Brand groups making their way
+
+through. As you make your way through the north
+side of the Pentamarket, one of the town criers
+
+comes by shouting, “War declared on the Kryn by
+the King in retribution of attack on eastern
+
+"garrisons!”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: Another one, a few moments later further
+down the way shouts out, “Righteous Brand
+
+"mobilizing east to protect our families! Spare
+what provisions you can to ensure victory and
+
+"support our defenders!” There are clusters of
+Righteous Brand groups, the full armored military
+
+outside of the Signet Wall that have come into the
+streets and are basically picking up provisions,
+
+asking for donations from anyone that can spare
+things for this scenario. They’re grabbing horses
+
+from nearby stables, and it seems like since the
+close of the festival, through the night and into
+
+the morning, preparations have already kicked in
+on the military side.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe not to Dolan’s, then.
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+TRAVIS: Because we got to get the fuck out of
+here.
+
+LAURA: Well, are we still all together, or are we
+already split up?
+
+MATT: You’re already split up.
+
+LAURA: There’s no way we’ll be able to get out of
+here before–
+
+MARISHA: Back to Pumat’s.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to do our best. We’re going
+to see how it’s going to be.
+
+LIAM: Did we hear that, though?
+
+MARISHA: I’m assuming we all heard it as we
+split.
+
+MATT: You heard bits of it as you split off. You
+guys heard a bit. It says, “Crick incursion
+
+"threatening imperial borders! The Starosta
+recommends armed escorts for travel across the
+
+"valley!” A lot of these Righteous Brand soldiers
+are also saying goodbye to their families. There’s
+
+a lot of people in big embraces with their
+children or with their parents, and there’s very
+
+much the air of the morning before the big shift
+begins. The Crownsguard themselves are doing the
+
+best to keep the peace and inform people and not
+keep individuals from freaking out as much, but
+
+you do see a few arguments breaking out in the
+streets and there’s that general tension of,
+
+“What’s happening? What’s going on? How bad is
+this?” But everything seems relatively under
+
+control. The Signet Wall, which is to the north
+side of the city, which is where all the military
+
+is usually situated– you don’t have a view beyond
+the wall, of course, but you can see that’s where
+
+a large part of the Righteous Brand is emerging
+into the city from. Yeah, there is a definite
+
+building presence, and tension in the city in
+preparation for the shift eastward. You guys are
+
+heading to Dolan’s still?
+
+LAURA: Are we still?
+
+MATT: Or what are you doing?
+
+LAURA: I mean, it’s obvious we’re at war now.
+There’s not much to talk to him about, huh?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s what I mean.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should see if we should be some
+armed guards for some rich people going across the
+
+valley before, so that we have, you know.
+
+TALIESIN: Just a thought to check the board; also
+get our stuff from the Leaky Tap.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s what we can do while they’re
+at the library.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a good idea.
+
+MATT: You guys are heading back to the Leaky Tap?
+
+LAURA: We’re going to go by the board first. The
+job board?
+
+MATT: Oh, the Taskboard.
+
+LAURA: To see about being armed guards, and then
+we’re going to go to the–
+
+TALIESIN: Possible private escorts. Private
+escort, either north or–
+
+MARISHA: Might be our best way out of town,
+actually. Good idea.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys head to the Taskboard outside
+of the King’s Hall, the four of you. There’s the
+
+original posting “Seeking or paying for any
+information on Myriad or unlawful activity within
+
+"the city.” There’s the reward on rebel gatherings,
+anti-crown rhetoric that you’ve seen. There is a
+
+shift to the recent Righteous Brand convincing
+letter. It says, “War has found our doorstep.
+
+"Defend your family from the Xhorhasian hordes by
+sword or shield. Good pay and adventurous living
+
+"as a soldier of the Righteous Brand. Seek Leopold
+Wanstiker at the Marrow Keep in the Signet Wall.”
+
+The other “Proof of others’ worship of heretical
+gods paid in gold.” You don’t see any immediate
+
+postings for armed guards but those are probably
+done privately through the merchant guilds.
+
+However, as you’re looking at the board a voice
+goes: “Oh, well that’s perfect!” You see
+
+Voloshin, the Keeper of the Hall who you had
+previously interfaced with when you did your job
+
+in the sewers, comes out in his robes and he says,
+“We’d actually sent a page to look for you but
+
+"they must’ve missed you. The Lawmaster wishes to
+speak with you, would you come with me?”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, of course we will.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+MATT: “Providence it is. Enter, please.” He leads
+you inside the hall of the king and there are the
+
+two archways between the clerk’s center and the
+Lawbearer’s small shrine within the chamber. He
+
+leads you down the right hallway past two sets of
+doors and there’s a third door on the right that
+
+is partially ajar. As you enter it, you see a
+spacious if rather minimalistic chamber. It’s a
+
+bare chamber beyond a bookcase, the desk, with a
+long bench in front of it, and a series of three
+
+small windows where the sunlight comes through–
+or the light, there’s not really sunlight at the
+
+moment because of the weather. Beyond that, it’s
+white marble and fairly empty. There at the desk
+
+you see, her arms sprawled looking down over
+clusters of parchments, the Lawmaster Orentha
+
+Stonegrasp. Her gray hair has tumbled past her
+shoulders and her bangs have been pulled back like
+
+a natural circlet, keeping it out of her eyes. He
+pushes you into the chamber, she has a dark brown fur
+
+robe on. The cold morning air makes the room,
+especially the dark marble, very cold. She keeps
+
+it on for warmth. She looks up from the papers and
+greets you with a smile and goes, “Thank you for
+
+"coming. That was mighty fast. Have a seat, if you
+don’t mind. Thank you, Voloshin, close the door,
+
+"if you could.” “Of course, my dear.” He closes the
+door, leaves you in there. “I wasn’t expecting
+
+"such a rapid response, but I appreciate your
+expediency.”
+
+LAURA: Well, we were right here.
+
+MATT: “That’s fantastic. Please, have a seat. I’d
+like to discuss a few things with you if you don’t
+
+"mind. First off, congratulations yesterday. That
+was quite a display and a fantastic victory. Well–”
+
+LAURA: Are we going to war?
+
+MATT: “I see you are aware of the shifts in our
+current imperial state of affairs. We haven’t had
+
+"war in generations. I’m hopeful that the conflict
+is swift, but I’ll leave that concern to those
+
+"with the right expertise. I’m tasked with keeping
+my people safe here, not on the front. Here. Now,
+
+"wartime puts us in an unfortunate scenario. Zadash
+effectively governs the southern half of the
+
+"empire and most of military might is now leaving
+us. Our Crownsguard will be stretched thin across
+
+"keeping the peace and dealing with unrest and
+worry and protecting these walls from whatever
+
+"pushes through the lines of battle and the general
+things that wander from beyond our boundaries.
+
+"Money isn’t an issue, but personnel is. There are
+outlying threats and criminals we no longer have
+
+"the manpower for and as such, the Crown has
+approved an expanded mercenary budget. Now you’ve
+
+"already proven your ability to me twice. Most
+recent, your skills in the Victory Pit showing you
+
+"capable and loyal to the king. I know not your
+interest, but if you would come under contact,
+
+"under my office as legionnaires of the empire, you
+would be responsible for protecting the lives of
+
+"many innocent people. Now, under contract you
+would receive 15 gold a week per person as
+
+"a stipend whether or not you were on contract or
+not. It could be at your leisure, months at a time
+
+"with no work and you still get paid no matter what
+you do. Each assignment rewards its own bounty of
+
+"course, case by case. The work I’ll be presenting
+would largely involve the hunting of outstanding
+
+"criminals, the acquisition of resources that may
+benefit the Empire in this time of war, and
+
+"sometimes the extermination of dangerous creatures
+that threaten life away from the front lines. Now
+
+"you’d all have credentials within the Empire and
+that will grant you access to supplies, pro bono.
+
+"Access to empirical halls, and individuals
+otherwise restricted to the general populace.”
+
+LAURA: Would we get healing potions?
+
+MATT: “When they’re available, those supplies are
+a bit stretched thin and put toward the front
+
+"lines. We could probably muster what we can. Could
+I hope for your help on this?”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s quite the offer. Seem to be opening
+up the whole kit and caboodle for us here.
+
+MATT: “Dire times make for dire circumstances. We
+don’t take lightly the ask that we’re giving here–”
+
+TRAVIS: We understand your position, unfortunately
+you find us in a precarious time. As you can see,
+
+we don’t have all of our fellows here with us and
+this morning’s news caught us unawares. We’d need
+
+a fair bit of time to consider your offer, I’m
+afraid. We can’t give you a yes or no right now.
+
+MATT: “I understand, that’s fine.” She smiles
+lightly, the crow’s nests in her eyes folding in a
+
+bit. “I hold no grudge against you should you
+decline. That’s all.”
+
+LAURA: We do appreciate the offer and we can’t
+wait to talk to our friends about it, though.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+SAM: Insight check.
+
+MATT: “Well, should you be interested, the first
+contract I can discuss, if you choose to sign with
+
+"us. It does offer a 10,000 gold bounty.”
+
+SAM: (choking)
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+MATT: “I can’t tell you until you sign the
+contract.”
+
+LAURA: Why not? It sounds like a lot of money for
+something, though!
+
+TRAVIS: We have sympathy for your situation. Will
+you be here in a few hours if we need to return?
+
+MATT: “Oh I have no choice, I’m in the process–”
+and she gestures to the papers below her and
+
+there’s a stack of approval letters and reports
+that have to be put out there. She’s dividing what
+
+forces that she can allow to go the eastern front
+and sticking her feet in the sand on what things
+
+she needs to maintain order in the city.
+
+TALIESIN: You have our deepest sympathies at your
+position. This is obviously going to be a very
+
+difficult time.
+
+MATT: “Well, the issue here is that many of our
+finest investigators and hunters will be sent to
+
+"the east and as such many of the criminals and
+individuals that we were in the process of finding
+
+"and bringing to justice will now go free or return
+and run rampant.”
+
+LAURA: If only my friend were here. Me and my
+friend Nott are really good at solving crimes,
+
+we’re the best investigators.
+
+MATT: “Well, consider what I’m saying. At the very
+least, come back and notify me.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “No harm no foul otherwise.” She leans
+forward and goes, “Look, I understand. People are
+
+"as varied as they are selfish. I believe in the
+Empire, but I definitely don’t believe with all
+
+"the people that run it. I do what I do because I
+feel if I don’t a lot of good people will be
+
+"crushed under the boot of those that misuse their
+power. But there are good people here, and we do
+
+"what we can. I’ve seen the good that we can do.
+That’s why I’m here. I wish to fight for this land
+
+"that I call home, to protect those who cannot
+protect themselves, and combat the destructiveness
+
+"and selfishness of anarchy. Utopia’s impossible, I
+know that, but I do what I can to make life as
+
+"livable as possible. Anyway, go speak with your
+friends, and I’ll be here if you need me.”
+
+LAURA: Do you think the war will make it all the
+way here?
+
+MATT: “If the war makes it here, then we’re in far
+more trouble than I anticipated.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough, your asks are fair. We’ll
+return, quickly.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. I should get back to work.” She
+rubs her hands and gets back down to the paper.
+
+The door opens behind and Voloshin leads you back
+out of the King’s Hall.
+
+LAURA: If you ever need anyone to talk to because
+you feel really stressed out, I’m here. I’m a good
+
+healer, mentally.
+
+MATT: She gives a nod and a wave.
+
+TRAVIS: We turn and leave.
+
+MATT: You guys are escorted out of the King’s Hall
+and left back out to the streets.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, that was crazy!
+
+ASHLEY: That was crazy.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a lot.
+
+LAURA: 10,000 gold! What do you think it is? Do
+you think it’s a dragon or something crazy like that?
+
+TALIESIN: I think it’s The Gentleman.
+
+TRAVIS: I do too, or something just as sinister.
+
+ASHLEY: I wonder if there’s any way to find out
+somehow what it is before accepting.
+
+LAURA: I feel like The Gentleman probably works
+with the city, you guys.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like 10,000 gold is buying an
+awful lot of cooperation. More cooperation than I
+
+think I’m capable of.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s find the others and get our story
+straight.
+
+LAURA: Back to The Leaky Tap, then? Get our stuff
+together?
+
+TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Then we’ll meet them at the shop.
+
+MATT: As you guys get to The Leaky Tap, you see
+near the front door a young page wearing similar,
+
+though simpler, robes as Voloshin and members of
+the King’s Hall, who approaches and goes, “Oh, hi!
+
+"I’m sorry, I was sent to give you this summons
+from the Lawmaster.”
+
+TRAVIS: We’ve already been, it’s all right.
+
+MATT: “Very well,” and then runs off. You guys
+gather your supplies and start making your way
+
+back towards the Pentamarket. The three of you,
+where are you going?
+
+SAM and LIAM: The library.
+
+MATT: You make your way towards the Archive of the
+Cobalt Soul here in Zadash. The same beautiful
+
+building with the large, steepled tower top.
+
+MARISHA: Button up. I turn to Nott. How do I look?
+Do I have any makeup running?
+
+SAM: Do you wear makeup?
+
+MARISHA: Like once a week.
+
+SAM: I think it’s worn off.
+
+MARISHA: All right, good. Let’s go.
+
+SAM: Should I be–
+
+LIAM: That would be helpful.
+
+SAM: Do you think I should be more of a normie for
+this?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to do the same thing that I did
+the other day. I am going to cast Disguise Self
+
+and make the gigantic glasses and change my cloak
+to a similar shade of blue.
+
+MARISHA: What’s that thing you guys do, Mother’s
+Love? What’s that situation?
+
+SAM: That’s for when we steal things, and I
+pretend to be his baby and he pretends to be my
+
+mama. Then when they’re looking at the cute baby,
+he steals something.
+
+MARISHA: Right. You could go with the first half
+of that plan, but without the second half that
+
+involves the stealing?
+
+LIAM: They would let you bring a mother and her
+baby into the library?
+
+SAM: I’ll be a dwarf.
+
+MARISHA: I’m more concerned about bringing in a
+man and a goblin.
+
+SAM: I can disguise myself as well.
+
+LIAM: Normally when we do Mother’s Love, Nott
+stabs people.
+
+MARISHA: Sure. You do know how to adjust in
+certain circumstances, though, right? You do know
+
+how to improv based on the current surroundings,
+though, right?
+
+LIAM: Hey, this city’s under lockdown, can we go
+into the library?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s go.
+
+SAM: I’ll cast Disguise Self and be a little
+halfling girl.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way to the front
+archway of the entrance of the archive, there is
+
+the main sign-in bench, which has the large tome
+that’s on a small pedestal, where you sign in to
+
+enter the facility, and then you’re greeted by one
+of the archivists who approaches. You recognize
+
+this individual as Madeer. Has olive-colored
+skin, short, dark hair, approaches with a smile.
+
+“Beauregard, you come with companions.”
+
+MARISHA: I do. Spreading that Cobalt love.
+
+MATT: “Fantastic. What is it you seek this day?”
+
+LIAM: Me? I am interested in the history of the
+greatest arcanists of all time.
+
+MATT: “History can be done. Arcanists can be done.
+Please, do sign in here.”
+
+LIAM: Ja. Caleb Widogast.
+
+MARISHA: That’s your name.
+
+MATT: “And your friend?”
+
+SAM: Veth.
+
+TRAVIS: Ham and Beth.
+
+MATT: “No surname, very well. I will be escorting
+you as well. Come.” Madeer leads you into the
+
+library. For the first time you guys seeing it, it
+is overwhelming. It’s strange. For as much as
+
+there’s a very calm, almost cathedral-like
+structure on the exterior, the interior of the
+
+chambers have a curved, organic feel to the way
+it’s situated and organized. The bookshelves wrap
+
+around these walls, these separate antechambers
+that are broken up like ventricles of a heart. In
+
+each one, it is floor to 15-foot ceiling filled
+books with large shifting ladders that glide
+
+across poles and wheels. There are a number of
+tables and small nooks where individuals are in
+
+the process of taking notes or reading through.
+It’s not super crowded. There’s maybe eight other
+
+people in the facility at this time. Obviously the
+city is very occupied with other things at the
+
+moment. It’s not like there’s a huge, constant
+need for this, and the people in here are usually
+
+regulars. A lot of older folks, people who tend to
+spend their later life wanting to read and learn.
+
+MARISHA: Memberships.
+
+MATT: You are led to a section. Madeer reads
+through. “Arcanists, you say? Historically? Are we
+
+"talking Age of Arcanum?”
+
+LIAM: I am looking for histories, accounts of
+people who pushed the boundaries of what can be
+
+done over the ages. The firsts. I am interested in
+more than what is typical, at least as much as can
+
+be known. Do you follow me?
+
+MATT: “I believe so.”
+
+MARISHA: He’s a magic fan.
+
+LIAM: Ja, that is true, I am a magic fan.
+
+MARISHA: Little heavy-handed, man. Like, really
+heavy-handed.
+
+MATT: A few tomes are retrieved. “This here is a
+recollection of what elements of historical
+
+"significance could be pulled from the remnants of
+the Age of Arcanum, pre-Calamity. There are a
+
+"great number of mages out there, though many of
+them befell darker interests. But here are those
+
+"books. If you’re looking for more modern mages, we
+have historical information on the past 200 years
+
+"of empirical magecraft and powerful wizards in
+that realm.”
+
+LIAM: What about the unexplained?
+
+MATT: “Explain what you mean by ‘unexplained,’
+please.”
+
+MARISHA: I said you were already being too
+heavy-handed!
+
+LIAM: Questions. There is a certain amount of
+knowledge in the schools of this empire, and then
+
+there are questions. Theorizing, philosophy of the
+arcane.
+
+MATT: “That would be more Soltryce Academy
+material. They do lay claim to most of those
+
+"theoretical discussions and research. The Cerberus
+Assembly would be the keepers of those research
+
+"endeavors.”
+
+LIAM: Excellent, I shall go there next.
+
+MATT: “I have a book here on the Cerberus
+Assembly, if that would be of interest to you.”
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: These tomes are presented to you. You can
+spend time to read if you’d like. Madeer watches
+
+the entire time, like a hawk.
+
+LIAM: I start reading.
+
+MATT: Which book do you go through first?
+
+LIAM: I will start with the first, the oldest.
+
+MATT: Okay. Are you absorbing it, or are you
+skimming through?
+
+LIAM: This one, I am absorbing it. I will read it
+cover to cover.
+
+MATT: Cover to cover will take you the better part
+of the day.
+
+LIAM: I’m a speed reader, and an average novel
+takes an hour to an hour and a half for a speed
+
+reader to read.
+
+MATT: You’re a speed reader, but this is also very
+dense material, and it is essentially a historical
+
+theorizing on historical elements they’ve been
+able to piece together. I’d say by the time you’ve
+
+gotten here, it’d be about noon in the day.
+
+LIAM: I’m holding three tomes, correct?
+
+MATT: Yes, and I’d say you’d finish this book by
+about 3:00.
+
+LIAM: If I take a moment to skim, ten minutes
+through each one, and get the barest idea of what
+
+I would find inside each.
+
+MATT: You want me to just tell you all the
+history?
+
+LIAM: No, I’m trying to figure out if I were to
+look at a couple of pages at once from three
+
+different books–
+
+MATT: What are you looking for? You have to give
+me something to go on here, otherwise this is
+
+going to turn into an hour and a half of me
+telling you about the history of the Age of
+
+Arcanum.
+
+LIAM: I want the furthest extent of transmutation
+and changing reality.
+
+MATT: Okay. There are discussions about
+transmutation on a powerful level. It involves the
+
+creation of turning mountains into mobile clouds.
+It speaks of, in the Age of Arcanum, there were
+
+floating cities. There was arcane technology
+utilized in that period, which was this magical
+
+utopia, but a lot of that was lost in the war,
+partially because a lot of these mages, when they
+
+had developed magic to this point, weren’t
+satiated with their mortal capabilities, and that
+
+was when they were easily corruptible by the
+betrayer gods. Then it goes into discussion of the
+
+Calamity. Magics that can alter the fabric of
+reality exist out there. Some of them appear to be
+
+myth, some have been wiped from time and history
+because they’ve been voted too dangerous and
+
+they’re supposedly under lock and key in other
+places of the world, if not completely eradicated
+
+because it was not fit to leave them in the hands
+of mortals.
+
+LIAM: This was in one of these tomes?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Then I will focus on that, because I’m
+interested in that.
+
+MATT: It speaks on theories and manipulations of–
+if you’re looking for things reality-based,
+
+reality’s a big scope. Transmutation specifically,
+most of what you can glean from this discusses the
+
+idea of turning from one creature to another,
+turning from one substance to another, how they
+
+would be able to build fortresses out of stone and
+then turn it to diamond for extra protective
+
+elements, and those were the great palaces of that
+age.
+
+LIAM: You know my main interests. Do I find
+anything of that in here?
+
+MATT: You find some discussion of it. You find
+some discussion of the manipulation of time, but
+
+what minor manipulation is capable through magic
+is merely to slow or expedite what happens.
+
+Accelerating time to a certain degree becomes very
+dangerous, and there is talk of some mages that
+
+have attempted to reverse time in short stints,
+and that process is both very taxing and in the
+
+past has completely annihilated those who toyed
+with that power. It speaks specifically of two
+
+different mages who believed that they could
+possibly alter choices, alter elements of their
+
+past to benefit their future, their gaining of
+power and influence. One was turned to dust, the
+
+other was never seen again.
+
+LIAM: I spend all my time with that book.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Madeer. How’s it been? How’s it
+going?
+
+MATT: It has been frustrating, but fine.
+
+MARISHA: Fucking Zeenoth, am I right?
+
+MATT: Zeenoth is a great friend.
+
+MARISHA: No, he’s a great friend! Great guy. Great
+guy, that Zeenoth. Has Dairon left?
+
+MATT: I have not seen her this morning, but I
+don’t know if she’s left or not.
+
+MARISHA: Cool, cool.
+
+MATT: You read through that tome. It’s about three
+in the afternoon now.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Caleb, not going to conquer the
+world in a library visit.
+
+LIAM: Can you give me two more hours?
+
+MARISHA: No, I cannot give you two more hours. I
+can’t. I will gouge my eyes out with a fucking
+
+pencil if I give you two more hours.
+
+SAM: How about one more hour? We’ll all
+compromise.
+
+LIAM: What about 30 more minutes?
+
+MARISHA: Do you have something in your neverending
+flask?
+
+SAM: Of course, would you like a drink? Are we
+allowed to drink in here? Why are you carrying
+
+around a cup?
+
+LIAM: I skim the book on the Cerberus Assembly.
+
+MATT: It has a breakdown of previous members who
+passed away. It’s basically a historical dialogue
+
+of how it was established. The name was actually a
+reference to a group that existed in the Age of
+
+Arcanum. It talks about how there was a war of
+mage houses 150 years ago within the empire that
+
+nearly destroyed part of the capital, Rexxentrum,
+and as part of the ceasefire and the arrest of
+
+these mage houses that were at war, as opposed to
+imprisoning them, they agreed to bind themselves
+
+to the empire and work for them. That’s what the
+Cerberus Assembly was established as: a power
+
+under rule of the king. Since then has flourished.
+It’s helped the kingdom rise to power, it helped
+
+them conquer the Julous Dominion. They work with
+and under the king. It talks of all the members
+
+and it talks about what they do. Trent is in
+there. There is Master Trent Ikithon, who is the
+
+Archmage of Civil Influence. Civil Influence is
+the title and it talks about how he is the
+
+propagandist and the constructor of the face of
+the Empire in upper-echelon circles. It speaks of
+
+Martinet Lunidus Da'leth who is the Archmage of
+Domestic Protections, who is the oldest in the
+
+original member of the Assembly who still lives.
+Was there when it was built and is currently
+
+considered the leader of the Assembly. It speaks
+of Marquis Jenna Iresor who is the Archmage of
+
+Industry. One of the younger members of the
+Assembly. There is Master Doolan Tversky who is
+
+the Archmage of Dysology.
+
+LIAM and MARISHA: Dysology?
+
+MATT: D-Y-S-O-L-O-G-Y. There is–
+
+SAM: Are you reading these things out loud?
+
+LAURA: Yes, he is.
+
+LIAM: I could say I’m muttering it under my
+breath.
+
+MATT: There is Lord Athesias Uludan who is the
+Archmage of Diplomatic Union. There is Lady Vess
+
+DeRogna who is the Archmage of Antiquity. I’ll
+send you these later. It’s fine. I’ll send you an email.
+
+TRAVIS: We now have something that rivals a
+shopping episode. It’s called the library.
+
+MATT: There is Headmaster Zivan Margolin who is
+the Archmage of Conscription. Then there is
+
+Headmaster Oremid Hass who is the Archmage of
+Cultivation. Those are the eight members
+
+currently.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, I have to give a small golf clap
+for–
+
+TALIESIN: You wrote all this?
+
+MARISHA: It’s The Silmarillion.
+
+MATT: Oh, there is a lot more information!
+
+SAM: Caleb, when you were muttering there, did you
+say Dolan Tversky?
+
+MATT: Doolan.
+
+TRAVIS: Not Dolan.
+
+LIAM: Similar name.
+
+MARISHA: There’s nothing in this. You handed it
+back, I thought there was going to be something in it.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I will say that I got my fill. I can
+feel this one’s radiating–
+
+MATT: Yeah, burrowing vision into your neck.
+
+LIAM: I want to stay for 17 more hours, but I’m
+ready to go. I am good. I am done. Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: All right, thank you.
+
+LIAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Of course! Good day.”
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, Madeer.
+
+MATT: “Good to see you, Beauregard.” He escorts
+you out of the Archive.
+
+LIAM: Caleb looks at the thousands of books that
+he did not read and leaves.
+
+MATT: Yeah, and there’s a whole second level above
+the spiral staircase.
+
+LAURA: And we count our fucking blessings.
+
+MARISHA: You know, you’re not going to find any
+answers in any of those books.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go find the others.
+
+LAURA: We’ve already left the city.
+
+TRAVIS: We are in Rexxentrum.
+
+SAM: They’re in a different campaign.
+
+MARISHA: What do you mean it’s been 17 years,
+Pumat? What do you mean?
+
+MATT: You guys, what have you been up to during
+this time? Because it’s been a number of hours.
+
+LAURA: Anything.
+
+TRAVIS: We ate like three shepherd’s pies. We
+fucking killed a guy and hid him in the room. We
+
+stuck him next to the skellington.
+
+LAURA: It was great.
+
+TALIESIN: We did our taxes.
+
+LAURA: Molly told all of our fortunes.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You’ve gathered all your materials. You went
+and checked on your cart, which is now
+
+currently–
+
+LAURA: We just pushed the giant rotting head out
+of it and left it on the street.
+
+MATT: Okay, that is a nasty fucking manticore
+head. The flesh has sloughed off of it at this
+
+point. Yeah, it’s pretty rough. You have your
+cart, the horses are still there. The horses you
+
+had, at least.
+
+LAURA: Hey, you guys. I never used my fate thingy
+yesterday because I’m stupid. Did you guys want to
+
+use it today?
+
+TRAVIS: For what?
+
+LAURA: Oh, did I not tell you about this thing? Oh
+my gosh, you guys, you know the weird little thing
+
+that we stole?
+
+TRAVIS: Uh-huh.
+
+LAURA: Well, it gives you this– okay, so you
+focus on it and you go to this place and you can
+
+see it and there’s this little gray ball and it
+goes “Touch me!” and then you go “Okay!” Then it
+
+comes out, and it goes in your chest, and you get
+control of your fate for one time in a day.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+ASHLEY: What? What do you mean you get control of
+your fate?
+
+LAURA: Well, like basically like if you fuck up or
+something like that then you get to fix it, maybe.
+
+ASHLEY: Can you go back and–?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s like all of a sudden you feel a
+little lucky, maybe.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want to try it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure. Why not?
+
+LAURA: Let’s hide next to the body that we just
+killed so that you can try it in the cellar so
+
+that nobody sees, because we should probably be
+careful pulling this thing out.
+
+TALIESIN: I would imagine right now especially.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I pull out the box. Just focus on it,
+Fjord! I’ll protect you!
+
+TRAVIS: Do I have to touch it or just look at it?
+
+LAURA: I can’t remember. I think you just–
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll do both. Are you doing it, too?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going in?
+
+LAURA: It can only do one person in a day, but
+we’ll pass it around the group, so if you want
+
+it today, Fjord, then Yasha, you can do it
+tomorrow.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+MATT: As you focus on it, there’s nothing really
+there until your hand touches it and then there’s
+
+a momentary connection. You feel the thrumming of
+the object, this dull heartbeat. Your vision goes
+
+tunneled until you’re pulled into this space of
+light and stars, distant gases and colors. There
+
+you see, beyond this brief journey, this sense of
+self dissipating. At the moment where it gets a
+
+little scary and you being to lose a sense of
+personal identity, you see this tiny gray mote of
+
+energy before you that’s also pulsing with that
+same pattern. You instinctively reach out and feel
+
+as you absorb it into yourself, and there, the
+fragment of–
+
+LAURA: Did he say anything when he touched it?
+Like Caleb did?
+
+MATT: Did you say anything?
+
+LAURA: Did you say anything? No, you were silent
+the whole time?
+
+MATT: Your vision has come back to you and you
+feel this–
+
+SAM: I’m half sea monster!
+
+TRAVIS: Was I supposed to say something?
+
+LAURA: No, it’s just when Caleb did it, he was
+like, “I love you, Mom and Dad!” Then he started
+
+crying.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, no. It was a crazy trip though.
+
+LAURA: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you feel like you have control over
+your fate?
+
+TRAVIS: No?
+
+TALIESIN: Do you feel…lucky?
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Do you?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: I close up the box. I put it back in the
+bag.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go to Pumat’s and let’s get the
+rest of them together, I’m sure by now–
+
+LAURA: We will ride the cart. Do you guys really
+think we probably shouldn’t become legionnaires, then?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: No? We should leave town?
+
+TALIESIN: I think we should get out of town while
+the getting’s good.
+
+LAURA: That lady’s really nice, though. She’s like
+a grandma.
+
+TRAVIS: 10,000 gold, I mean, shit. Wouldn’t mind
+earning 10,000 and then bouncing.
+
+SAM: We’re going to go to Pumat’s as well.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re conscripted once you start
+earning that 10,000.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you’re conscripted as long as you
+stay in town.
+
+LAURA: I wonder how the contract works? I bet it’s
+like a magical contract or something like that
+
+where you sign it and then they have like your
+soul!
+
+TALIESIN: Or you sign it and then the next time
+you come across some soldiers of the Empire, they
+
+have you executed for treason for running off on
+it.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that would be bad.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, we should explore this idea, but
+maybe.
+
+TRAVIS: Right, let’s go to Pumat’s.
+
+MATT: We’ll say for the purposes of expediency,
+and you guys lolling around a little bit to try
+
+and catch up, you all arrive at Pumat Sol’s in
+roughly the same time in the Pentamarket. As you
+
+enter the interior of the chamber, you can see the
+three Pumats are dusting and staring off because
+
+there are currently no other people making
+purchases inside. Most of the business and chaos–
+
+people dealing with the initial shock and
+preparation stage of this coming scuffle with the
+
+East. As you enter, the first Pumat glances over
+in your direction. “Oh, hello there! It’s real
+
+"interesting morning times. What can I do for
+you?”
+
+TRAVIS: Had a bit of a tussle. Guess what we’re
+back for?
+
+LAURA: I bet he doesn’t have any more yet.
+
+SAM: Healing potions, do you have any?
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, you guys have pretty much
+cleaned me out, and what little bits I had were
+
+"snatched up bright and early this morning by the
+Righteous Brand.”
+
+LAURA: We should have bought some earlier! Do you
+know of anyone else that would have some?
+
+MATT: “Generally, I don’t like to plug rival
+purveyors here in the city.”
+
+LAURA: Right, but seeing as how you don’t have any
+inventory.
+
+MATT “There is Grace of the Wilds, which is on the
+southern side of the Pentamarket. You can go ahead
+
+"and have Jasna Bree maybe help you there if the
+army hasn’t gotten to her first. But I digress.
+
+"Respectfully, it’s going to be real difficult this
+time of year.”
+
+LAURA: To get healing potions?
+
+MATT: “Because we’re at war.”
+
+LAURA: “This time of year,” like it happens every
+year?
+
+MATT: “No, but I mean it’s that time of year right
+now apparently where war happens. That’s a
+
+"problem.”
+
+LAURA: Are you going to go to war, Pumat?
+
+MATT: (laughs) “No!”
+
+LAURA: But you’re such a powerful person, don’t
+you think you would be helpful?
+
+MATT: “I don’t think that’s any of our fates right
+now, isn’t that right, boys?” They’re all like,
+
+“Yeah, no that’s–” “No, warfare’s not my thing.”
+
+TRAVIS: I know we were in here very recently. You
+haven’t got any overnight special deliveries of
+
+anything interesting, have you?
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, you’ve taken the bulk of
+what was there, other than a few odds
+
+"and ends that you couldn’t afford previously.”
+
+LIAM: Do you have any of that paper that I have
+been purchasing so much of?
+
+MATT: “We got a little more paper, yeah.”
+
+LIAM: Could I purchase, say, 200 gold worth of it?
+
+MATT: “Certainly. That can be provided. We still
+have that little pearl thing, we got the
+
+"bracelets, but that’s all we got at the moment.
+Mister Prime back there is hard at work.” He turns
+
+back and you hear this voice like, “Yeah! Got a lot
+of stock to kick up now! You cleared me out for a
+
+"while, which thanks for that!”
+
+TRAVIS: You’re welcome.
+
+LAURA: What was the pearl again?
+
+MATT: “Oh this here’s a pearl that allows you to
+go ahead and utilize your magical capabilities.
+
+"Let’s see here. Yeah, you use a command word and
+it allows you to regain one of your spells.”
+
+SAM: How much was it?
+
+MATT: “This one runs you roughly about 350 gold
+pieces.”
+
+LAURA: I would like to buy that please, thank
+you!
+
+MATT: “All righty, by all means.”
+
+SAM: Is it one use only, and then it’s gone
+forever?
+
+MATT: “Once per day.”
+
+TRAVIS: What was that other item you had?
+
+MATT: “Well, here you are, if you would like
+to–”
+
+LAURA: Is it the Pearl of Power?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+LAURA: I had that as Vex!
+
+MATT: “There’s this enchanted shield here, which
+we discussed previously. That has an enchantment
+
+"to its deflection capabilities so it will help
+improve your chances of avoiding dangerous
+
+"physical contact via weaponry and other sources.
+Then these here are this pair of bracers are able
+
+"to do a similar scenario given you don’t have too
+many types of hide or metal in the way to prevent
+
+"the enchantment from protecting you, but–”
+
+TRAVIS: Does it work with medium armor?
+
+MATT: “Well, nah, it only works if you don’t have
+any armor or shield.”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, what does it do?
+
+SAM: No armor, not even light armor?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, sorry.”
+
+LAURA: Do you wear armor, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh?
+
+LIAM: Beauregard does not either.
+
+SAM: How much are those?
+
+MATT: “That one will run you back about 1,200
+gold.”
+
+SAM: Maybe not, forget that.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll come back for another day.
+
+SAM: Do you have any enchanted crossbow bolts?
+
+MATT: “Let me go ahead and check there for a
+second, those are generally smaller-scale here.
+
+"Pumat III, if you don’t mind.” “I got it, already
+listening to you, don’t worry.” He goes up a small
+
+ladder in the far corner into an attic place and
+you hear some rustling around as the other Pumats
+
+are there patiently watching. “So yeah, crazy war
+times, huh?”
+
+TRAVIS: How much for that shield?
+
+MATT: “Oh, this here enchanted shield will run you
+about 550 gold pieces.”
+
+TRAVIS: I think I’m all right.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough.” About five minutes pass and
+then the Pumat comes down, he’s got a small, bound
+
+cluster of bolts and he goes, “Hey, so it’s all we
+got, but we’ve got a batch here of ten enchanted
+
+"crossbow bolts. These upon firing should offer a
+small batch of fiery impact on whatever you strike
+
+"with them.”
+
+SAM: How much are they?
+
+MATT: “For each of these, it’s 50 gold per bolt.”
+
+SAM: I’ll take two bolts please.
+
+MATT: “Two bolts, here you go.”
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+MATT: He passes them over to you. These bolts,
+upon impact, do an additional 1d8 fire damage.
+
+SAM: Nice.
+
+MATT: You have two of them, and it’s one use
+only.
+
+SAM: Okay. 1d8 fire damage. Great.
+
+MATT: You may have a chance of recovering them,
+depending.
+
+SAM: Okay, cool. What did we decide? Are we
+leaving town or are we doing something else?
+
+TRAVIS: We got an offer to work for the city, to
+be legionnaires. To protect it while its troops,
+
+hunters, and mercenaries are going to the front
+lines. There are bounties of up to 10,000 gold in
+
+reward if we stay.
+
+SAM: Caleb, do we want to stay? Are there things
+here that you need?
+
+LIAM: I defer to the group. I think we work well
+together and whatever you think’s best.
+
+MARISHA: 10,000 gold.
+
+ASHLEY: 10,000 gold is a lot of money.
+
+MARISHA: They want someone really important dead
+is what it sounds like to me.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Sounds like an expensive enemy to make.
+
+TRAVIS: Our other option being fleeing the city?
+There were no postings for–
+
+LAURA: We already pushed the nasty head out of our
+wagon.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Should have done that like a week
+ago. Good call. Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m legitimately happy to go in any
+direction far away from the front line,
+
+personally.
+
+MARISHA: Is joining the city joining the war? Is
+that what they made it sound like?
+
+TRAVIS: Believe so.
+
+TALIESIN: I think it’s a slippery slope.
+
+LAURA: Joining the city is protecting the city,
+more than it is joining the war.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s conscription.
+
+MARISHA: The city’s a part of the empire.
+
+LAURA: But you’re under contract, for 15 gold a
+week.
+
+LIAM: What about your interests in the Hall of
+Erudition here and the Academy?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh the Soltryce?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’d like to see it, but I guess I’m
+not in a terrible rush.
+
+LAURA: The big one’s in Rexxentrum, anyway.
+
+MARISHA: I think we’ll make gold wherever we go.
+
+TALIESIN: I agree. They say there’s kids
+disappearing up north?
+
+LAURA: If we stop by the merchants’ guild we may
+still be able to be armored escorts for people.
+
+SAM: Or we could just leave.
+
+LAURA: Or we could just go.
+
+MARISHA: Check by the merchants’ guild, see our
+options, and then make the decision from there.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: You know coasting is not a bad idea either.
+There is not as massive a gain, but there is not
+
+as high a risk for whatever this 10,000 gold
+target is.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, let’s not do that one.
+
+LIAM: Play it safe.
+
+LAURA: Just be armored guards.
+
+MARISHA: This means we’re staying together,
+though?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I thought yes, that was a given right?
+I mean, we all work so well together.
+
+TALIESIN: I like it.
+
+LAURA: We make really good roommates!
+
+MARISHA: We do make such good roommates.
+
+SAM: Well, Beau, do you want us to stay together?
+
+MARISHA: I think we make a good team. I think
+there’s more to be had here.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: It might run out, who knows. I’m not an
+optimist, but think there’s still more to be had.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we make a polite exit at the least or
+do we just bugger out?
+
+TRAVIS: She seemed pretty heartfelt, I think a
+polite exit would be thoughtful.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m fair for that.
+
+MARISHA: Merchants’ guild then polite exit?
+
+SAM: Yeah, maybe we’ll rustle up W.C., Loo, John,
+Crapper, Shitter, and Toilet.
+
+MARISHA: Oh that’s right, our horsies!
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Any other business you want to do before you
+decide to leave the city?
+
+LAURA: Did you want to swing by and see if– Yeah,
+can we pop into the other shop? The old Grace of
+
+the Wild and see if they have any healing potions,
+just to check out.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Just in case.
+
+SAM: In the interest of time…
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Do they have any?
+
+MATT: In the interest of time, Jasna Bree, who is
+a rather eccentric woman with wild black hair, a
+
+slightly hard to follow disposition, greets you
+and is like, “Hi! Welcome! Glad you could make it!
+
+"Healing potions, yes. Unfortunately kind of
+already cleared out. I’m so sorry. Give me a week,
+
+"I will have a fresh batch of healing potions, and
+I’d be happy to help.”
+
+LAURA: Definitely be back in a week. Wait, do you
+have any herbalism kits?
+
+MATT: “I do! I do!”
+
+LAURA: Oh great! Could I buy some–
+
+MATT: “I have four!”
+
+SAM: How much?
+
+MATT: “For each it’s– let me check.” She goes
+into her ledger.
+
+TALIESIN: The DM’s Guide.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it works out well.
+
+LAURA: Would I be able to make potions of healing
+with this?
+
+MATT: With herbalism kits?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: I believe you would, yes.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: You can make potions of healing?
+
+MATT: Correct, it is five gold per.
+
+LAURA: Oh great. How many do you have?
+
+MATT: You have to have proficiency with it to make
+a potion of healing. Are you proficient with
+
+herbalism kit?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know how I would tell.
+
+MATT: It would be under your proficiencies.
+
+LAURA: Oh, then no. Oh no, I only have proficiency
+with a forgery kit and a disguise kit.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: No, then fuck it! I don’t want that shit!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to go back to Pumat’s. I’m going
+to buy that damn shield.
+
+MATT: Okay! There you go.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you.
+
+SAM: If she has the materials to make acid, I’ll
+buy it from her.
+
+MATT: Yeah, she easily has materials and sells
+them to you.
+
+TALIESIN: I couldn’t make potions with alchemist
+supplies, could I?
+
+MATT: Not potions. You can make poisons, acid,
+various alchemical concepts, but that’s the gist of it.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Does she have any badass weapons? Any
+badass sticks?
+
+MATT: No. She is purely a purveyor of salves and
+natural remedies and–
+
+LIAM: Ointments.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Can I ask a question?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: With a healer’s kit, can you heal people
+when you’re not in combat? Or is it just for
+
+stabilizing?
+
+MATT: The healer’s kit usually can be used to
+stabilize somebody. There’s a feat you can take
+
+that allows you to spend an action to heal someone
+with it in combat. It’s called the Healer feat.
+
+Which is actually pretty cool.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay. I’ll look at that.
+
+MATT: It turns anybody into a combat healer.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Should we go say goodbye to somebody and
+leave?
+
+MARISHA: Are we checking the merchants’ to see if
+there’s any armed escort requests out of the
+
+merchants’ guild?
+
+MATT: Who’s helming that?
+
+SAM: Fjord!
+
+TRAVIS: Not me.
+
+LAURA: I’ll do it.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: I’m coming with her.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll help you.
+
+LAURA: Us three. Oh. That was bad.
+
+MATT: She’s helping you with it. It’s advantage on
+you.
+
+LAURA: Yes! (laughs) Oh no! Slightly better.
+Five.
+
+MATT: You gather the knowledge of this war has
+blindsided most of the merchant guilds in Zadash.
+
+Best you can tell, most of them are in the process
+of getting ready to figure out what their next
+
+endeavor is. Those that would be leaving won’t be
+leaving for a few days. If you hang around, you
+
+may be able to pick up that kind of work.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. That’s something.
+
+LAURA: Well. I think we’d have to wait. Maybe we
+should just go?
+
+ASHLEY: Should we say our goodbyes to Orentha?
+
+LAURA: We’ll swing by and say, sorry we are
+declining.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way back to the King’s
+Hall, you are escorted back into Orentha
+
+Stonegrasp’s office. “I see you’ve returned. I
+appreciate your expediency in getting back to me.”
+
+Her crackling Southern drawl breaking through with
+her bright dwarven smile. “Considering what we’ve
+
+"discussed, what have you come to a conclusion
+on?”
+
+LAURA: I think we are probably not going to be
+able to help out right now.
+
+MATT: “I understand.”
+
+SAM: It’s not you. It’s us. We’re not ready for
+that kind of commitment.
+
+MATT: “I understand, that’s all right.”
+
+SAM: You’re going to make an adventuring party
+very happy some day.
+
+LAURA: You really will.
+
+MATT: “I hope so. We’ll send someone else after
+the Hawker.”
+
+LAURA: After the what?
+
+MATT: “The Hawker.”
+
+LAURA: What’s a Hawker?
+
+MATT: “Don’t worry about it.”
+
+SAM: Does anyone know what a Hawker is?
+
+LIAM: Which spelling are you using for that word?
+A-W-K? O-C-K?
+
+MATT: H-A-W-K.
+
+LAURA: Like a monster or something?
+
+MATT: “No. He actually was a legionnaire for us
+about five years back, but then went rogue, and we
+
+"believe had ties with the Myriad and became a
+powerful tent-pole here in the Marrow Valley. We
+
+"had him cornered in Deastok about three months ago
+by a team of crownsguard under the leadership of
+
+"Carlos Ventuga. But this Hawker slew Carlos and
+fled south into the Wuyun Gorge and disappeared
+
+"into the Menagerie Coast. We’re having to send
+whoever we can to try and retrieve him and bring him
+
+"back alive.”
+
+LAURA: From the Menagerie Coast?
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+TRAVIS: The opposite direction.
+
+LAURA: The Menagerie Coast is really freaking
+cool, you guys.
+
+SAM: So many choices!
+
+LAURA: Oh shit, that sounds really cool!
+
+MATT: “If you need more time, that’s fine.”
+
+LAURA: What do you guys think? Hold on, can we
+talk about this?
+
+TALIESIN: Quick huddle.
+
+SAM: Pros and cons.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m happy just to leave the city.
+
+LAURA: Pros, we get to visit the Menagerie Coast,
+which is always really cool.
+
+TRAVIS: Pro, 10,000 gold.
+
+LAURA: Do we have a time limit on when we’d be
+able to get him?
+
+MATT: “No, but the longer it takes, the easier he
+probably has vanishing into the south.”
+
+LAURA: Makes sense.
+
+MATT: “We sent a troupe after him about eight
+weeks ago, and I fear they may not be coming back
+
+"at this point. We intended to send some of our top
+investigators from the capital after this
+
+"bounty–”
+
+SAM: Investigators!
+
+LAURA: That’s what they said!
+
+SAM: That’s our job!
+
+LAURA: We’re really good at it!
+
+MATT: “It’s 10,000 gold alive, 5,000 dead.”
+
+LAURA: What if we were like, let’s go after this
+guy, and then after that, we’ll talk about being
+
+under contract? Like this can be a test
+situation.
+
+MATT: “Unfortunately, if this is to happen, I need
+you under contract.”
+
+SAM: Do you need some tea or something?
+
+MATT: “I’m good, I appreciate your
+conscientiousness.”
+
+SAM: A lozenge?
+
+MATT: “I’m all right, but thank you.”
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have a lozenge?
+
+SAM: I don’t, I just feel bad for her.
+
+TALIESIN: Shouldn’t be offering things that you
+don’t have.
+
+MATT: “It’s fine.”
+
+ASHLEY: What does the contract entail?
+
+MATT: “Retrieving this man and bringing him back
+here for justice.”
+
+ASHLEY: How long are we in contract with you? Just
+for this, or–?
+
+MATT: “The contract has you as a legionnaire, and
+as part of that you just–”
+
+SAM: Forever.
+
+MATT: “Well, until we decide to mutually end your
+service.”
+
+MARISHA: Mutually.
+
+MATT: “Well, if you wish out of it, we can discuss
+it, it’s fine. But I mean as opposed to deserting
+
+"is the problem.”
+
+MARISHA: So you want to hire more legionnaires to
+go kill an ex-legionnaire who wasn’t legionnaire-y
+
+enough for you.
+
+LAURA: No, he ran away when he was a legionnaire.
+
+MATT: “He ran away and then allied himself, we
+believe, with the Myriad and then has since, upon
+
+"attempting to bring him in, murdered some of our
+finest men.”
+
+MARISHA: Right.
+
+LAURA: The Myriad does some scary stuff, you
+guys.
+
+TALIESIN: If we happen to bring him in even if we
+weren’t under contract–
+
+MATT: “Part of the bounty would still apply I’m
+sure.”
+
+LAURA: How much of the bounty?
+
+MATT: “Probably half.”
+
+ASHLEY: That’s an option.
+
+LAURA: But if we were part of the contract then we
+would get access to a bunch of stuff.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s true.
+
+MATT: “Think about it.”
+
+SAM: Think about it.
+
+LAURA: Can we decide, can we talk about this?
+
+SAM: Huddle up again.
+
+MATT: You guys can discuss this over the next week
+if you want. You don’t need to decide this right now.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m too tired to make proper decisions.
+
+MATT: It’s fine. “Return when you have an idea.”
+You’re led outside and start making your way to
+
+the Leaky Tap to discuss your plan of action.
+There, waiting–
+
+LAURA: This is where we hit the save point. I
+don’t know.
+
+MATT: As you guys head back to The Leaky Tap, the
+Righteous Brand are making their way through the
+
+city. It’s a weirdly solemn, unexpected military
+parade essentially as they’re just gathering
+
+supplies and making their way through. It’s a show
+of strength to help rise the spirits of people
+
+that seem confused and worried about this coming
+conflict. So it does seem to calm nerves and a lot
+
+of the children seem excited to see them. Coming
+down the streets on their horses and their
+
+armaments on display. While you’re watching it go
+by, a voice whispers up next to you and goes,
+
+“Psst, hey.” You turn and you see, hood up, Kara.
+“Sorry, don’t mean to bother you. If you have a
+
+"moment, things are getting strange around here and
+The Gentleman may have a bit of work for you.”
+
+(groaning)
+
+MARISA: We’re the prettiest girl in town.
+
+TALIESIN: Should have left in the middle of the
+goddamn night.
+
+MATT: We’ll pick up from there next week. You guys
+made quite a display last night in the Victory Pit.
+
+LIAM: You just made it three times as complicated
+in seven seconds.
+
+MATT: Yeah, I know.
+
+TALIESIN: Knew it was coming.
+
+MATT: Picking up on that. However, you guys do
+level up. You hit level five.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+LAURA: Level five?!
+
+MATT: That means let’s all roll some hit points to
+finish off the evening here.
+
+MARISHA: Right now?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh.
+
+MATT: So we’ll start over here, we’ll go in order.
+What’d you get, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a seven plus three.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, right?
+
+MATT: Whatever your constitution modifier is.
+
+MARISHA: Plus three, yeah.
+
+MATT: Ten extra hit points to Beau. What’d you
+get, Nott?
+
+SAM: I roll a d8?
+
+MATT: Roll a d8.
+
+SAM: I got a seven.
+
+MATT: Nice!
+
+TRAVIS: Everybody rolls a d8?
+
+MATT: I believe for a warlock it’s also a d8.
+Caleb is a d6, he’s the only one. Warlock is a d8,
+
+but it adds a plus.
+
+LIAM: I rolled a four.
+
+MATT: What’d you get?
+
+LIAM: Four, plus I’ve a constitution modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: It was a d8?
+
+MATT: d8, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Six plus four, ten.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+LAURA: Oh I’m rolling an eight as well?
+
+MATT: You are as a cleric, yes.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MATT: Five, okay. d10 for you.
+
+TALIESIN: d10 for me. Six.
+
+MATT: You guys are all rolling above average, nice.
+
+ASHLEY: d12?
+
+MATT: d12 for you.
+
+ASHLEY: Nice. 11?
+
+MATT: Shit, you guys rolled really good this time,
+well done!
+
+ASHLEY: Plus two?
+
+MATT: It’ll be your constitution modifier, so a
+plus two to that for 13 hit points. So add 11 and
+
+it should give you 13.
+
+LAURA: Oh it’ll go. Here, let me get– Over on
+this side, you can manage your levels.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s right.
+
+MATT: For Molly, Beau, and Yasha, that means your
+attack action now does two attacks. You get an
+
+extra ki point. Casters all get level three
+spells. That’s pretty great. And your proficiency
+
+bonus goes up by one. So all your proficient
+skills, proficient attacks, spell DCs, and spell
+
+attack modifiers all go up by one. I think it’s
+all going to be included in there already, in the
+
+app. It’s a good level.
+
+TALIESIN: I add six to the rolled HP?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+LIAM: What’s everybody’s hit points at, what are
+the new totals?
+
+MATT: Beau also gets Stunning Strike.
+
+MARISHA: 44.
+
+LAURA: My hit points are super low, you guys.
+
+SAM: What’s Uncanny Dodge?
+
+LIAM: The best thing ever.
+
+LAURA: He got Uncanny Dodge.
+
+SAM: Sneak attack bonus 3d6! Oh shit. All the
+dice.
+
+MATT: This is my favorite part. Watching people
+realize what they get when they level up.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh wait, I get a bunch of weird shit,
+we’re going to have to have a talk.
+
+SAM: You can use your reaction to halve the
+attack’s damage against you?!
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: Holy shit. I’m unstoppable!
+
+MATT: That’s part of the reason that Vax survived
+so much in the last campaign.
+
+LAURA: I think I get Revivify now.
+
+SAM: Can I use that once a day? Once a round?
+
+MATT: No, it’s just your reaction, once a round.
+
+SAM: Once a round?!
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Holy shit. I’m a golden god.
+
+TALIESIN: I get a new blood curse. I want to have
+a conversation about that before we go into that.
+
+MATT: Yes, you do get another blood curse, you get
+to choose.
+
+LAURA: I have Dispel Magic you guys!
+
+SAM: So does Yasha, no big deal.
+
+ASHLEY: No, that’s a big deal.
+
+MATT: Then you get, of course, 3rd-level spells,
+and you get another invocation. You can mess with
+
+it later.
+
+LIAM: Where we’re leaving off, are we going to
+come back? Because it’s the end of the day, are we
+
+going to come back at the end of the day or are we
+going to come back next morning?
+
+MATT: It’s late afternoon at this point. You guys
+are coming back right as you met with Kara there.
+
+LAURA: Great, so you can go back to the library
+next time.
+
+MARISHA: (chanting) Level five, level five.
+
+MATT: Yasha, your speed increases by ten, which is
+nice. That’s some fun stuff. We’ll leave it there
+
+and we’ll pick up next week in this pre-war chaos.
+Guys, thank you so much for hanging with us. I
+
+hope you had a good time. We had a good time.
+We’ll be back next Thursday, see where this goes
+
+as choices, paths, avenues, and possibilities all
+begin to arise.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Too many options.
+
+LIAM: They’re engrossed in leveling up. This is
+the joy of Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m excited to see what insane shit I can
+do. My proficiency bonus, did it automatically go up?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it automatically puts it up.
+
+LAURA: Holy shit, you have so many hit points.
+
+MARISHA: I want to go to Taco Bell on the last 45
+minutes of my birthday.
+
+MATT: Okay, let’s do it. Happy birthday.
+
+MARISHA: 45 minutes.
+
+MATT: I love you, we’re going to get Taco Bell.
+
+TALIESIN: That is the best birthday meal.
+
+MATT: I think so. All right guys, thank you so
+much, we’ll see you next week. We love you, and is
+
+it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role where a bunch of us nerdy
+
+ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons &
+Dragons. Before we dive into tonight’s game, we
+
+got some announcements to get through. First and
+foremost, we have two fantastic sponsors tonight.
+
+The first of which is our good friend D&D Beyond!
+They’ve been with us since we began this campaign.
+
+The new book, Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes,
+releases tomorrow. I got one last month and it’s
+
+amazing. Oh my god, it’s so good. It has the
+Astral Dreadnought, I’m so happy. Hope you guys
+
+never have to fight one. You can order that now on
+D&D Beyond and check out the wonderful content
+
+there. If you order on D&D Beyond, you also
+receive the Rrakkma Adventurers League
+
+gith-focused introductory adventure for free. If
+you know what that means, we’re of like mind. The
+
+githyanki is such an amazing part of D&D lore.
+
+LIAM: Go Yankees!
+
+MATT: Go Razi! Anyway, as a reminder, Tome of Foes
+is also available in D&D Beyond’s legendary
+
+bundle, which is still 25% off using the code
+826LA. If you want it to do the legendary bundle,
+
+get the huge discount, Tome of Foes is included in
+that, so go and check it out. It’s amazing. Thank
+
+you, D&D Beyond, and hope you enjoy the new
+release tomorrow. Sam? You want to talk about our
+
+other sponsor for the evening?
+
+SAM: Yes, our second sponsor for the evening is
+Backblaze!
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: If you don’t know Backblaze– I’m sorry. If
+you guys don’t know Backblaze, it is unlimited
+
+cloud backup for Macs and PCs for just $5 a month.
+Yes, Backblaze stores docs, music, photos, videos,
+
+fanart, and more. I use the service, and to be
+honest, I always thought, “It sounds magical.”
+
+Well guys, I’ve discovered that it is actual
+magic. Faery magic to be exact; In fact, I
+
+captured one of their head faeries, Yev, a little
+sprite named Yev, in this trash bag.
+
+TRAVIS: Look at him flittering around!
+
+SAM: Flits around a lot. He’s just settling down
+in here.
+
+MARISHA: There is no air hole; that’s so
+irresponsible.
+
+SAM: It’s okay! Oh look! Magic is real! I have it
+right here in the bag! Yev, how does Backblaze work?
+
+TOY IN BAG: (bird tweeting)
+
+SAM: Oh! He says you can restore files anywhere
+via direct download.
+
+LAURA: Did you think that was going to be loud
+enough?
+
+SAM: Shh. I’ve got a backup if it doesn’t work. He
+says you can restore files anywhere via direct
+
+download, or restore by mail and receive a hard
+drive with your files. Yes, Yev, but how does
+
+Backblaze keeps all those backups for such a low
+price?
+
+TOY IN BAG: (garbled speech imitation)
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Wait! Yev says that they harness the power of
+love to store data and that love also sustains
+
+your life? Wait a second, without your love,
+you’ll die?! Oh my god!
+
+TOY IN BAG: (squealing)
+
+SAM: Oh god, everyone! Yev is sick!
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+SAM: Maybe the power of our applause will cure
+him. Everyone clap. Oh my god no, it’s made it
+
+worse! His lung has collapsed. He’s bleeding
+internally. Oh my god, what can we do?! He says
+
+that not enough people have visited
+backblaze.com/criticalrole.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re shaking it!
+
+SAM: That’s him shaking, it’s not me. My puppetry
+work is amazing.
+
+TOY IN BAG: (squealing)
+
+SAM: Not enough people have visited
+backblaze.com/criticalrole to sign up to get a
+
+15-day free trial. Critters! If you want Yev to
+live, you need to click on the site right now! Oh
+
+god! Oh god, he’s flatlining. He’s dead.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+SAM: Yev is dead! The Backblaze faery is dead.
+
+TOY IN BAG: (squealing)
+
+SAM: Oh! What?! It’s a miracle!
+
+LAURA: Don’t clap!
+
+SAM: Enough critters visited
+backblaze.com/criticalrole and signed up. You
+
+saved his life! We can continue the show.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: You are a master at building tension.
+
+SAM: Puppetry. That was a real faery, guys.
+
+LIAM: The Jim Henson studio was mad to let you
+go.
+
+TRAVIS: How you ever snagged it with just a
+kitchen garbage bag is beyond me.
+
+MATT: He’s thrifty.
+
+SAM: A child’s lightsaber toy thing.
+
+MATT: Don’t ruin the illusion!
+
+ASHLEY: What are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: Why do you show your tricks?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, stop it!
+
+LAURA: That’s so quiet.
+
+SAM: I know, it’s too quiet.
+
+MATT: The faery escaped and left us presents.
+
+SAM: It’s a dragon. Oh no, it ran out of
+batteries! Everyone clap! Yeah, it’s alive!
+
+TALIESIN: My face hurts.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam, and thank you, Backblaze,
+for your amazing support. Getting us on track
+
+here, we have the Vox Machina: Origins hardcover
+that will be on sale next week on 5/31. Very soon,
+
+on May 31st, you can find it on the Geek & Sundry
+online shop, check out all the details on critrole.com.
+
+LAURA: It’s beautiful!
+
+MATT: It’s pretty awesome, we’re excited.
+
+LIAM: It’s gorgeous on paper.
+
+MATT: We’re happy to bring it to you physically
+guys and not just digitally, so check out that. We
+
+have the Stream of Many Eyes coming up with our
+friends at Dungeons & Dragons. The event starts
+
+June 1st and if you’re in LA, you can check out
+the show live and in-person. Check out
+
+dnd.wizards.com/some. Stream of Many Eyes
+for more info and tickets. Ashley will be there
+
+playing in my game on Friday. Me and Marisha, Sam,
+Travis, and Taliesin will all be participating in
+
+the stream as well. Check it out throughout the
+weekend. There is a lot of guests coming in there
+
+playing some D&D and unveil Wizard’s next big
+story.
+
+LAURA: Somebody wasn’t asked.
+
+SAM: Is that true?
+
+LAURA: This girl right here.
+
+TRAVIS: No, we asked, you just don’t pay attention
+to email.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Oops.
+
+MATT: It’s okay, you’ve got stuff going on.
+
+LAURA: You know, there are other things happening.
+
+ASHLEY: Human growing in.
+
+LAURA: I totally was like, “Nobody asked me.” All
+the oops. Sorry guys!
+
+MATT: We’ll see you guys there. Some of you. We
+have our fantastic Talks Machina every Tuesday at
+
+7:00pm Pacific. Our fantastic host and maestro of
+cabbages, Brian W. Foster, will be there with a
+
+few guests from the show to discuss the events of
+tonight’s episode. It will be available on Twitch
+
+and Project Alpha so go check it out there. Also,
+a reminder for Twitch Prime: If you have an Amazon
+
+Prime account, you can sign up to subscribe to a
+channel on Twitch for free every month, if you
+
+manage to merge the two accounts together with
+your Twitch Prime and Amazon Prime. So yay! The
+
+Critical Role Live dice sets are currently back in
+stock and in the store.
+
+LAURA: Yes, and if they’re still there, the Vox
+Machina dice set is around as well.
+
+MATT: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: I know! I tweeted it out because I was
+like, “No one told me that one was in”! That’s exciting.
+
+MATT: To finish up, I will be flying bright and
+early tomorrow up to Calgary to be part of
+
+Otafest. All you wonderful folks in the Canadian
+area, come and say hi, visit our panels, signings,
+
+and all that good stuff in between. I’ll see you
+guys there. Unless we have anything else to
+
+discuss, I believe that it’s the end of the
+announcements for tonight. That also heralds our
+
+diving back into tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Hello and welcome back! Wow, you’re going
+back to basics tonight.
+
+LIAM: We’ve got to.
+
+MATT: Apparently, going back full circle. Back at
+255 and zero. Last we left off: The Mighty Nein
+
+have been caught up in the political turmoil of
+the Empire, noticing that the king has declared
+
+war on the eastern realm of Xhorhas, specifically
+the Kryn dynasty. There was an assault on one of
+
+the garrisons in the east. There were many lives
+lost and the sky now darkens. You’ve begun to
+
+decide what it is you can do and what your current
+plan of action is. As you began to gather your
+
+things as you decide where your next trajectory
+would be, you were summoned to the King’s Hall,
+
+and brought before the Lawmaster of the town of
+Zadash. She implored you if you’re interested,
+
+having proven your mettle in the past and in the
+Victory Pit not too long ago, if you’d be
+
+interested as signing off as legionnaires to help
+aid, protect, and do work for the Empire at home
+
+while all the military forces of the Righteous
+Brand had moved to the east to engage with the
+
+enemy. You took it under consideration and left,
+went back to gather some more supplies at your
+
+inn. You were delivered a missive from an old
+friend, Kara, saying the The Gentleman would like
+
+to speak with you. That was where we left off.
+Mighty Nein, having just returned to the Leaky
+
+Tap, being briefly met with Kara who delivered
+this information and then vanished back into the
+
+afternoon, what would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Clearly, we’re going to talk to El Jefe.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Got it out of the way right away.
+Autocorrect. Inside story. Inside joke. Whatever.
+
+SAM: The inside story.
+
+LAURA: Yes, I think we should go talk to him. That
+seems like it would be smart, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, and we already signed one contract
+with him.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s not like he wouldn’t know where
+we went if we left, anyway.
+
+SAM: What time of day is it right now?
+
+MATT: If I recall, it’s later afternoon.
+
+SAM: That is my voice.
+
+LAURA: Is it?
+
+SAM: I’m dialing it in still. (vocalizes trying to
+find Nott’s voice)
+
+MATT: And we got there.
+
+TRAVIS: A little more mid, a little less treble.
+
+SAM: What time is it?
+
+MATT: It’s late afternoon, I believe.
+
+TRAVIS: We can head over.
+
+SAM: Let’s do it.
+
+TALIESIN: I get nervous spending too much time in
+one place, but if everyone’s going, then we’re going.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a step in the way out.
+
+LAURA: What if what he wants us to do means that
+we have to stay here for a while, though?
+
+TRAVIS: Then we’ll have to make it worth our
+while.
+
+LAURA: Like for a lot of money, would you stay?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re at a table, you’re doing well.
+Eventually, you’re going to want to walk away from the table.
+
+LAURA: What if the table offers you four times the
+amount you’ve ever seen?
+
+TALIESIN: The table always offers you four times
+the amount you’ve ever seen. You got to walk away
+
+while you’re winning. But all right!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’ll make a decision.
+
+MATT: You make your way across the Pentamarket, to
+the familiar down, dank, and broody interior of
+
+the Evening Nip tavern. You pass by Clive, who
+gives you a nod. You head towards the hidden
+
+staircase down to the subterranean tavern. There a
+different sound catches your ears. There’s the
+
+familiar sound of warm music and tavern flair, but
+you also hear rowdy shouts and cheers and the
+
+occasional sound of something heavy against a
+skidding table. As you slowly descend toward the
+
+base of the curved staircase to enter the main
+chamber, you can see some folks are sitting at the
+
+tables, The Gentleman is in his far corner at the
+back, and they’re all watching a small circle of
+
+people in the center as two individuals in the
+process of beating the shit out of each other.
+
+Bare fists, bare knuckled. People are making bets,
+laughing and cheering, and throwing beer and
+
+various objects into the ring to mess with them.
+It is mid-craze scuffle at the moment.
+
+MARISHA: There’s a fight club! You guys, it’s a
+fucking fight club!
+
+TRAVIS: Beau is in her element.
+
+MATT: As you guys step down into the main area,
+the large ogre bodyguard stands and turns back.
+
+His low guttural grunt come through his protruding
+jawline with a (grunt) and gives you a sign to continue inward.
+
+TRAVIS: How have you been, Kutha?
+
+MATT: “All right.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, me too, all right.
+
+MATT: Getting a glimpse here as you watch a bit of
+parting between shoulders as everyone’s standing
+
+end to end. You hear this heavy crack and the two
+people nearest to you bow backward. Apparently,
+
+one of the two fighting individuals being thrusted
+into the circle is immediately pushed back into
+
+the center. You hear another couple of swings go
+before they both breakaway. You can hear the heavy
+
+breaths of them now exhausted, pouring with sweat.
+You recognize them, one is Louis, one of the
+
+agents who fled from the research facility that
+you were then going after, and the other is Thed,
+
+the halfling fellow with the neck tattoo that you
+saved in the sewers not but a week and half
+
+earlier. They are both bloodied–
+
+MARISHA: The one we got the information from.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! I remember he was trapped down by the
+spider.
+
+TRAVIS: The first guy’s name was Louis?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Louis and Thed?
+
+MATT: Yes. They are both bloodied and tensely
+attempting to pummel the other into
+
+unconsciousness. The people seem to be happily
+cheering it on as they go.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, who was Louis?
+
+TRAVIS: From the research facility?
+
+MATT: There were three people that went there and
+fled the research facility.
+
+LAURA: The ones we made fun of.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Woo, go Thed!
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, that’s right.
+
+SAM: Research facility?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to jump up on the table and watch
+it.
+
+MARISHA: The ones that we hazed. The Gentlemen’s
+guys that we talked to before we went to go kill
+
+the will-o’-wisps.
+
+SAM: Oh! Got it.
+
+MATT: Jester ascends to one of the nearby untaken
+tables and watches down into the mix. Thed crawls
+
+upward, fists up in front of his face, trying to
+guard. He goes for a duck, and comes in for an
+
+uppercut. Louis slaps it away, but it still
+manages to catch the edge of his jaw. He slaps his
+
+head a little bit to the side and as such he
+pushes off, and gives a kick to the chest of Thed,
+
+who falls back a second and goes to his back leg,
+and comes forward with a huge haymaker. Louis
+
+tries to back out of the way but it comes at an
+upward angle, slams into the side of his temple.
+
+You watch as his face goes starry eyed for a
+second as he tries to grab the edge of one of the
+
+chairs to catch himself. Thed runs up and then
+knees him right in the center of the chest and
+
+stomach region, and you hear the (pained moan).
+The whole group goes “Oh!” around, and you watch
+
+as Louis pushes off the chair and steps back and
+tries to back swing towards Thed. Thed slaps it
+
+out of the way, and goes in for a headbutt. It’s
+at this point that Louis appears to have pulled
+
+something from his back pocket, and as he swings
+his hand upwards, a scattering of sand and dust
+
+goes into Thed’s face, who backs up going (pained
+yell), starts to rub it right into his face. He
+
+begins to step away, trying to get his fists up.
+Louis uses the opportunity to go forward and sweep
+
+his legs out from under him. As he hits the
+ground, chest up, he goes into a double handed
+
+hammer fist right down into Thed’s chest. The air
+escapes him. Once again, the crowd goes “Oooh!”
+
+There’s a slight in the back from the Gentlemen,
+who’s trying to watch over the shoulders of everybody.
+
+LAURA: Jump up on the table, you can see better!
+
+MATT: This first time he’s acknowledged your
+entry, he gives you a look over going, a bit of a
+
+smile from the distance. Louis goes for a
+secondary blow. However, Thed manages to push off.
+
+His smaller halfling form able to dexterously
+dodge out of the way. He’s got one eye partially
+
+open, the other one watering thick, and he waits
+and paces himself for a moment. Louis, however,
+
+follows up behind it very quickly and goes for a
+knee straight to Thed’s face. It slams in, and as
+
+he backs up you can see the nose is permanently
+pushed to one side, and blood is pouring down the
+
+front of his face. He has a hand up. You can’t
+tell if he’s going to say he’s going to stop or if
+
+he’s trying to defend, and there’s no one looking
+over this battle to stop it if it happens.
+
+SAM: I turn to Mollymauk and say: I got three gold
+on Thed.
+
+TALIESIN: Seems a little late for a wager at this
+point.
+
+SAM: Just you and me.
+
+TALIESIN: Fair, I’m in.
+
+MATT: Louis comes in to try and finish off what he
+started. Thed waits for the final moment and then
+
+ducks down below, gets underneath and between the
+legs of Louis, and lifts, throwing him up, ass
+
+over tea kettle, until he slams on the back of the
+ground. He turns around, wiping the other eye out
+
+of the way. He pulls his leg up and attempts to
+stomp down onto Louis’s neck, and connects.
+
+Immediately there’s a (choking) and he’s holding
+him to the ground and jamming and grinding his
+
+heel into his throat. Everyone’s shouting, “Get
+him!”
+
+LAURA: Finish him!
+
+TRAVIS: Should we stop this?
+
+MARISHA: What? Why would you?
+
+MATT: Louis is desperately trying to pull the boot of
+Thed up off his throat, but Thed’s able to keep it
+
+down. He’s pushing and pushing. He spits blood
+right in the face of Louis, like onto one of his
+
+eyes. The consciousness of Louis begins to fade,
+eyes roll back, and then eventually, as the rest
+
+of his body goes limp, they pull Thed off. “Yeah!”
+They cheer and lift him up and carry him off. They
+
+pull Louis up into a chair and start slapping
+him and pour water in his face. He
+
+comes to consciousness and spits out a tooth, and
+then the crowd’s energy begins to die down a bit,
+
+and they drag them to different sides of the room
+and the people being to go about their business,
+
+get another drink at the bar.
+
+SAM: That was amazing.
+
+LAURA: Does that happen often in here?
+
+SAM: Thank you!
+
+TALIESIN: Shit.
+
+SAM: That’s the fury of the small.
+
+MARISHA: That was awesome.
+
+LAURA: Fight me!
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+LAURA: Fight me right now! Do you want to do it?
+
+MATT: As you’re doing that, some of the crowd that
+had began to disperse suddenly turns and starts
+
+tapping each other.
+
+MARISHA: What are the rules?
+
+LAURA: Just hit each other!
+
+MARISHA: Okay!
+
+MATT: (laughing) Do you wa– Okay!
+
+LIAM: Round one!
+
+MATT: You both charge into the center, starting
+seemingly with no purpose other then the necessary
+
+adrenaline to kickstart the rest of your evening.
+
+TALIESIN: Not like it hasn’t happened before.
+
+MATT: I need you both to roll initiative.
+
+LIAM: I cast Haste on Beauregard.
+
+LAURA: You piece of shit!
+
+MARISHA: What does that mean?
+
+LAURA: 22!
+
+MARISHA: Do I get to roll twice?
+
+MATT: Roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I did. 17.
+
+MATT: Okay but– Hold on, let me check real fast.
+
+LIAM: It’s licorice. I just need licorice.
+
+TALIESIN: Did I notice him casting Haste?
+
+LIAM: I didn’t try to hide it.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: (Laughing) Okay.
+
+MATT: Saving throws, not ability checks. You don’t
+get advantage on your initiative.
+
+MARISHA: All right, 17.
+
+MATT: You feel this sudden strange surge of
+adrenaline and energy. Time around you seems to
+
+slow ever so slightly as you watch Jester starting
+rushing in, swinging towards you, faster than you
+
+expect though. What are you doing?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to punch her in the face and cast
+Inflict Wounds.
+
+SAM: Oh Jesus!
+
+MARISHA: What!
+
+TRAVIS: You just got this!
+
+MATT: At first level?
+
+MARISHA: I thought we were having funsies!
+
+LAURA: At first level. I could do it at third, but
+I’m doing it at first.
+
+MATT: Okay, so it’s a relatively soft punch as
+you’re using it as a delivery method for the spell.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So it doesn’t do any actual punch damage.
+However, you do have to roll to see if you
+
+connect, so a melee spell attack.
+
+LAURA: 18!
+
+MARISHA: That hits.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: I believe that 3d10 necrotic.
+
+LAURA: 3d10. I think so.
+
+SAM: Oh god!
+
+MARISHA: Let’s wrestle! Okay! Mace in your face!
+
+TRAVIS: Third level is like 5d10.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Let’s thumb wrestle, and you shoot him in
+the head. Like what?
+
+LAURA: 17?
+
+MARISHA: Holy fuck balls!
+
+MATT: Suddenly your energy is instilled within
+your body, your vision goes wide, all the colors
+
+come into focus and you look up to see Jester to
+distract yourself from the sudden sensation you’ve
+
+never experienced before. The one thing you see is
+this fist connect with your chest, and you all
+
+watch as a series of blood vessels in the sides of
+Beauregard’s face and neck suddenly burst and
+
+splash blood in different directions. You see
+white for a second. Your body racked with pain and
+
+you recoil briefly from the sudden shock to your
+system.
+
+TRAVIS: With this flash of action, I mask my voice
+and go: I’ve got five gold on the horny one!
+
+MARISHA: The fuck, Jester?!
+
+LAURA: I don’t know!
+
+MARISHA: Boom! Boom! Boom! I’m going to do some Ip
+man like (punching noises). Like all the way down
+
+her spine. Right in the fucking ribs. Yeah, going
+for that.
+
+MATT: You’ve got two attacks now.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is stress chewing on the licorice root
+that he used to cast the spell.
+
+MATT: You don’t have your shield for this because
+you’re fist fighting. So your AC is technically two lower.
+
+LAURA: Oh shit.
+
+MARISHA: Okay the first one definitely hits with a
+20.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: The second one is a 15.
+
+LAURA: No, it doesn’t hit!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, and then I’m going to spend a ki to
+do stunning strike.
+
+MATT: What’s your AC normally?
+
+LAURA: Normally 18.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: She’s cracking it out!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, wait, hang on.
+
+LAURA: I should have done it 3rd-level!
+
+MARISHA: As in one ki– Do I have to– Hang on.
+Sorry!
+
+MATT: You roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Roll damage and then do I do?
+
+MATT: And then she has to make a saving throw. I
+believe it’s a constitution saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Not great damage. Seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of bludgeoning damage as she
+begins to pummel you repeatedly, across the front
+
+of the face, down into the side of the torso, and
+I need you to roll a constitution saving throw
+
+please, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Oh god. Oh no.
+
+ASHLEY: You guys are fucking each other up.
+
+LAURA: Five! No! Six. Oh no.
+
+MATT: Okay, as she continues down your torso
+there’s one portion on the back of your armor
+
+where your spine is exposed beyond the clothing
+you’re wearing, and after she finishes the round
+
+she uses the momentum and strikes straight into
+base of the spine where the nerve would divide
+
+down to the pelvis, and your entire body locks up,
+all your muscles all spasm at once. You are stunned.
+
+MARISHA: Can I have another attack action because
+of haste?
+
+LAURA: I think I pooped myself a little.
+
+TRAVIS: I walk over to the other side of the crowd
+and go: I got ten gold on the one with the
+
+bandages! Trying to whip up a betting frenzy.
+
+MATT: The haste doesn’t give you a fourth attack.
+What does haste does is it gives you–
+
+LIAM: An extra attack action.
+
+MATT: An extra attack action, yeah. You have your
+bonus action so yeah. You can attack with your
+
+staff if you want to, whatever your main attack is
+and then you still have your bonus action.
+
+MARISHA: And I still have my bonus action?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Because my stunning strike didn’t use my
+bonus action, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. That’s not great. That misses. It
+was a natural four.
+
+MATT: Hold on, she is stunned.
+
+MARISHA: Oh right! She’s stunned!
+
+MATT: Attack rolls against her are at advantage.
+You roll again.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural one.
+
+MATT: This hit you do pull back and hit the armor
+unfortunately, and your fingers snap back a bit,
+
+you feel the numbness from the attack.
+
+LAURA: That was my shield!
+
+MARISHA: You keep your shield in your ass?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Ow! Then I have one more bonus action,
+right?
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s good. That’s 19 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Six!
+
+MATT: That’s six bludgeoning damage to you. As
+Beau recoils from this and steadies herself from
+
+this round, Jester you are unable to move. You’re
+sluggishly trying to get your joints to function
+
+again, you try and speak and it comes out in a
+stuttering phrase that fades away, your tongue not
+
+listening to your impact.
+
+TRAVIS, MARISHA, and ASHLEY: (chanting) Level
+five! Level five!
+
+MARISHA: Right in that sciatic nerve! Right in
+there.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, it hurts already.
+
+MATT: Too close to home.
+
+LIAM: Beat that practice dummy!
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Back to Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to just do–
+
+MATT: You are no longer stunned.
+
+MARISHA: Once again take my staff out and I’m
+going to gut strike her right in the stomach. The
+
+first attack, that’s a natural 18.
+
+MATT: Let me double check and see when the actual
+stun wears off.
+
+SAM: And I’ll take five. Five gold, I’ve got
+Jester.
+
+MATT: Until the end of your next turn, so you
+still have advantage on attacks against her.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s see if– Okay, no. I’ll take that
+18. That first strike is 12 damage with my staff.
+
+MATT: 12 points of bludgeoning damage as the staff
+slams right into your clavicle, shoulder area,
+
+almost knocking you off your feet.
+
+MARISHA: Then I’m supposed to state flurry of
+blows as my bonus, right?
+
+MATT: Correct, yes.
+
+MARISHA: But I get one more attack and then I can
+do flurry of blows.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my reaction, because I’m
+not stunned, to use Hellish Rebuke on you.
+
+MATT: Technically, you’re still stunned until the
+end of her turn.
+
+LAURA: Fuck!
+
+LIAM: Is what Jester thought.
+
+MARISHA: Second attack. Okay. 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits.
+
+MARISHA: This is still my regular attacks.
+
+MATT: This is still the second strike with the
+staff after one knocking her back from the
+
+shoulder blow.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do a six damage crack just
+right in her gut, knock the wind out of her.
+
+MATT: The wind gets knocked out of you from a
+sudden blow to your stomach area.
+
+MARISHA: And I’m going to do flurry of blows.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+TALIESIN: Blood curse of the eyeless. Full
+strength.
+
+MATT: All right, go ahead and take your damage.
+
+TRAVIS: On who?
+
+MATT: All of a sudden your vision goes black. For
+whatever reason where we saw the brief burst of
+
+the veins from the first strike from Jester, you
+watch as bits of crimson begin to pour out the
+
+corners of Beau’s mouth, as her eyes go over
+black.
+
+MARISHA: Motherfucker.
+
+MATT: You don’t have advantage, it’s just a
+straight roll for your attacks.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, first one. 14.
+
+LAURA: Nope.
+
+MARISHA: Second one. No, even worse, natural four.
+
+MATT: Eventually your vision comes back, but your
+knuckles hurt from the fact that you just punched
+
+twice in the thickest parts of her breast plate.
+
+MARISHA: And I have one more attack action, right?
+
+MATT: Because of haste, you do. Yes, and that one
+has advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm. 14, 20 total.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Another 12 damage.
+
+LAURA: Aww no! I’m unconscious!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+
+MATT: And with that–
+
+MARISHA: It was pretty good, though.
+
+MATT: Jester got one good opening blow, and
+then–
+
+LAURA: And then Caleb fucked me.
+
+MATT: I mean, partially, but you also chose a fist
+fight against a monk, which is a rough scenario.
+
+MARISHA: Fight club!
+
+MATT: The whole crowd goes, “Yeah!”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry Jester.
+
+MATT: Jester’s unconscious.
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, I thought you were going to
+Fjord. I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: Oh, no I’m just being my same, awkward self.
+It’s fine.
+
+SAM: Guys, she’s our healer.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit.
+
+SAM: Can someone– she’s dying right now.
+
+MATT: You watch as one of the patrons of the bar
+comes up with a small jug of
+
+water and throws it in her face.
+
+LAURA: (coughing) Whoa!
+
+SAM: Is she okay?
+
+MATT: She’s at one hit point.
+
+LAURA: That was seriously awesome!
+
+MARISHA: So awesome! Dude, what did you do? That
+was crazy.
+
+LAURA: I would have done it worse, but
+I thought we were taking it easy on
+
+each other and then you went crazy on me.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I got a little blood lusty after
+that. I’m so sorry.
+
+LAURA: I understand completely. How come you were
+you hitting me so much though? Because usually you
+
+don’t have that much speed.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t really know. Do I know that he
+cast Haste on me? Would I be aware of that?
+
+MATT: Not at the moment, no, and you’re still
+affected by it.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know. Maybe it was a relapse of
+the those mushrooms that Molly and I did.
+
+I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: That was a while ago.
+
+TRAVIS: Talking super fast. All coked up.
+
+MARISHA: It’s really great. I don’t know. I feel
+really good about myself right now.
+
+MATT: At about this point in the conversation, the
+adrenaline leaves your body, and you almost keel
+
+over. You become, suddenly, super lethargic and
+exhausted.
+
+MARISHA: (groans) Oh god.
+
+LIAM: Definitely the mushrooms.
+
+MARISHA: We’re going to take a nap after this,
+right?
+
+TRAVIS: Nah, we’re walking out of this city,
+miles.
+
+MARISHA: Ah fuck.
+
+LIAM: I send Frumpkin over to start lapping the
+blood off of Jester’s face.
+
+LAURA: Oh, hi Frumpkin. You’re a little, evil
+creature that drinks blood!
+
+MATT: The crowd begins to go back to their
+scenarios. Some of them seem confused by the
+
+display of joyous hugging afterwards.
+Some seem to be down with it and are like,
+
+“Yeah, this is what it is about!”
+
+MARISHA: I take my canteen and clean Jester up and
+trying to help her out. Now that the adrenaline’s
+
+wearing off, I’m feeling a little guilty.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s totally fine. I did it to myself.
+
+MATT: Sitting on one of the table edges, you see
+Dweez, the little creepy gnome who you met
+
+earlier, who’s like, (breathy laugh).
+
+LAURA: I don’t like him. That was creepy.
+
+MATT: At this point, a familiar voice kicks up
+from the back corner, “Friends, come sit. Thank
+
+“you for such a fine display of sportsmanship.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s us. Always down for a scrap.
+
+MATT: “Apparently.” The Gentleman now sits there.
+His comfortable attire today comes in a billowing
+
+linen, a dark navy blue shirt that frills at the
+wrists. You can see his rings and jewelry
+
+available as his fingers are crossed and partially
+stapled– steepled in front of him. Not stapled to
+
+him. That’s a whole different thing. Ah! Oh god!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use this time talking to him
+as a short rest.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT and SAM: That’s an hour.
+
+LAURA: Well, hopefully–
+
+MATT: You spend an hour here, and you’ll be fine.
+“Thank you for coming so quickly.”
+
+TRAVIS: Of course. It didn’t seem like our options
+above ground were all that plentiful. We were more
+
+than anxious to hear what you might offer.
+
+MATT: “Rather tenuous times these are, wouldn’t
+you say? Word is the breach of the Ashguard
+
+"Garrison was a massacre, and now the skies there
+hang dark with ill-magic. I’m glad that’s hundreds
+
+"of miles from here, though. Now with the bulk of
+the military moving east, and the Crownsguard
+
+"stretched thin, we should begin bolstering our
+plots, yes?”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh.
+
+SAM: What does that mean?
+
+MATT: “Well, a distracted empire is an easy empire
+to bend to our will. Or at least, to not pay
+
+"attention to what we’re doing.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. I assume it doesn’t mean
+overthrowing it.
+
+More manipulating it to your
+individual gain.
+
+MATT: “Oh, I have no interest in political
+endeavors. Just the more confused they are, the
+
+"better for business.”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MATT: “I have a few possible jobs here, if you’re
+interested. I don’t mean to act so quickly, but
+
+"word comes to me that you had been summoned to the
+King’s Hall. I would hate to think I missed the
+
+"opportunity to get more work under your wing,
+before losing you to some unfortunate, state-based
+
+"conscription. First order of business, should you
+be interested.” He leans forwards and sets his
+
+“glass a little further from the edge. His voice
+hushes a bit as he leans in, "I’ve some friends to
+
+"the north, whom I’ve been needing to reconnect
+with. Allies, who would be very profitable
+
+"partners in these times. I’m rather strapped for
+attention, at the moment, and I have a hard time
+
+"trusting some of these other louts with detailed
+missions!”
+
+SAM: He means Louis.
+
+MATT: “Anyway, if you have any interests–”
+
+MARISHA: Fucking Louis.
+
+MATT: “Indeed.” You glance back over your shoulder
+and see Louis at the bar, who’s still dazed and
+
+“drinking a giant cup of ale and wiping the blood
+off of his whole torso. "If you’ve interest in
+
+"making coin, doing some interesting work and
+getting to see most of our beautiful, imperial
+
+"countryside, I can go on.”
+
+LIAM: Ja, who are these friends of yours up
+north?
+
+MATT: “An old friend of mine, named Ophelia
+Mardun. She has a base of operations about 350
+
+"miles northeast of here. Past Nogvurot and the
+Quannah Breach, on the outskirts of Shadycreek
+
+"Run. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”
+
+LAURA: Yes, we have, actually.
+
+MATT: “A sovereign town, outside of the Dwendalian
+Empire and outside of the law. That uses the
+
+"Savalierwood to keep the Crown at bay. Spoken of
+as a haven for criminals, thieves, murderers, but
+
+"really, it’s home to the truly free entrepreneurs
+of Wildemount… and criminals, thieves, and
+
+"murderers. Now, Ophelia is unable to enact on any
+partnerships at the moment, as her current
+
+"business is tangled up in some of the local
+riffraff and she’s requested aid in stabilizing
+
+"her situation. What I propose, as you’ve already
+proven yourselves effective problem solvers,
+
+"self-starters with enough sense of honor to see a
+deal through, is for you all to travel northward,
+
+"past the Silberquel Ridge to Shadycreek Run to
+parlay with Ophelia. Help her in absolving her
+
+"from her current mire of complications and return
+with her here to Zadash. For this task completed,
+
+"I offer an advance of 500 gold pieces and a purse
+of 4,500 gold pieces upon returning with Miss
+
+"Mardun within the month.”
+
+SAM: Question.
+
+MATT: “Yes?”
+
+SAM: Will she come willingly?
+
+MATT: “She will, once you manage to free her from
+her predicament.”
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+LIAM: Complications, predicament, do you have any
+more specifics than that, perhaps?
+
+MATT: “I do not. That is the intent and language
+she used, when last we had correspondence. I think
+
+"the nature of her business, much like ours, is
+meant to be on an absolutely necessary basis only.
+
+"I’m sure once you speak to her, you’ll have better
+information on that.”
+
+TRAVIS: A tantalizing offer. You said you had
+others?
+
+MATT: “I do. If this seems to be beyond your
+depth, I’d hate to see the coin go to someone
+
+"else, but I understand.”
+
+LIAM: No, we are interested in more of a buffet,
+here today.
+
+MATT: “Understood. That underground tunnel, that
+you’ve already visited, happens to be a major
+
+"artery for our smuggling business, leading
+straight up to the Lebenda Swamp. The Lebenda
+
+"Swamp is a useful place to lose things or people,
+until you need to find them. As well as a direct
+
+"route to my contacts in Berleben. We’ve been
+rather worried that no shipments have made their
+
+"way south by the river in weeks. After sending
+your friend up to Berleben last week, it was
+
+"discovered that our safe house and storage
+facility in the swamp has gone dark. One of my
+
+"men, as well as a handful of theirs in Berleben,
+went to investigate and never returned. Now the
+
+"swamp-folk are a superstitious lot, an unfortunate
+facet with working with them.”
+
+LAURA: Like swap creatures?
+
+MATT: “And the like, I’m sure of it. My contacts
+in town are refusing to investigate, recounting
+
+"howls from the deep swamp. I would need you to
+head up to Berleben. Locate a fellow named Febron
+
+"Keyes, usually hangs around the Keystone Pub in
+the Puddles. The Puddles is the part of the town
+
+"that is, heh, sinking. He’s my point man for
+shipments, and the only one who knows where our
+
+"safe house in the swamp is that hasn’t gone
+fucking missing. Meet with him, secure the safe
+
+"house and its contents, and return to me. Consider
+a 250 gold piece advance and a purse of 1,750 gold
+
+"pieces upon completion. Heck, if you can handle
+both (laughs) and with timely mind, there might be
+
+"a bonus.”
+
+LIAM: As a sidebar, should we be worried about our
+friend that we sent north to that area?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, where’s Horris?
+
+MATT: “Oh, he’s in Berleben. He should be fine.
+This is all based in the swamp.”
+
+LAURA: Leading to Berleben.
+
+TRAVIS: Could you describe your friend, Vabron?
+
+MARISHA, LIAM, and LAURA: Febron Keyes.
+
+MATT: “Febron Keyes, (chuckles) he’s memorable.
+Based by his fairly emanate lack of teeth. His one
+
+"wandering left eye. A bit of a skin condition.”
+
+TRAVIS: No grill, busted eye. Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I just drooled a little. Oh god.
+
+MATT: “But he’s good at the work he does.”
+
+SAM: What work is that?
+
+MATT: “Keeping his mouth shut and knowing where
+the secrets are and not giving those secrets up.
+
+"He’s been pressed for it a few times and has
+proven to be trustworthy, and I admire that.”
+
+TRAVIS: Would we have the same sort of timetable
+for this mission, a month?
+
+MATT: “The sooner the better, as the longer these
+shipments continues to elude us, the more money
+
+"we’re losing. Like I said, a timely manner, there
+may be a bonus.”
+
+TRAVIS: Anything else?
+
+MATT: “Those are the two at the moment. If those
+don’t tickle your fancy, I’m sure we could have
+
+"another opportunity in the next week or two. I
+just would hate to see these go to less qualified
+
+"individuals.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, perhaps we’ll partake of some
+beverages and discuss.
+
+MATT: “Of course.”
+
+SAM: One more thing though, our other offer was
+for 10,000 gold. Seems like maybe you could match
+
+that just to make it a little bit more equal?
+
+MATT: “You mistake this business as some sort of a
+push for an inherently equal pay, my friend. I
+
+"don’t know what business the Crown wishes to offer
+you, but I can guarantee you it has a ceiling.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, well the other side of that was that
+we would get access to some potions and supplies
+
+and stuff. Is this something you can provide to us
+when we go on missions for you?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: I wipe a little blood from my mouth.
+
+MARISHA: Super endearing with that black eye.
+
+TRAVIS: Anime sparkles.
+
+MATT: You’re leaning on one leg a little bit,
+unintentionally leaning in.
+
+TRAVIS: Your one busted eye is wandering.
+
+LIAM: Return of the Vex.
+
+MATT: “I’m sure we could provide a few supplies.
+Remember, we try not to dip into our own
+
+"contraband, but we could assume that we could
+provide some things, yes.”
+
+LIAM: Does that contraband include high-quality
+paper and ink?
+
+MATT: “We can provide paper and ink, sure.”
+
+MARISHA: You know what contraband means, right?
+
+LIAM: High-quality paper and ink.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll learn him, it’s all right.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Give us some time to discuss, and we’ll
+get back to you shortly.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Well, drink, be merry. You know
+where to find me.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is there an open booth or–
+
+TALIESIN: The darkest.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, the darkest corner.
+
+SAM: Or like a bumper pool table that we can
+all–
+
+MATT: There is that, yeah. It’s more like a
+shufflepuck thing, with the sand on the side.
+
+LIAM: Just Pacman table.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Galaga.
+
+MATT: The darkest table is the one that is tucked
+right inside the spiral staircase, where you enter.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, yeah.
+
+MATT: Which normally has somebody sitting there,
+but at the moment, it looks like they’re getting a
+
+drink. If you swipe it now you’ll probably piss
+somebody off, but you’ll get the table.
+
+TALIESIN: I pull the full Riker hop over the
+chair.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As you guys approach, you can see the same
+muscular, thuggish individual with the tanned skin
+
+and the thick bracers around his rough and tumble
+exterior, begins to approach with a large, fully
+
+filled flagon of ale. Who stops, sees that you’re
+sitting there and grumbles to himself and finds
+
+another seat. But you are as private as you can be
+in this relatively not private space. You have a table.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, what do you think?
+
+LAURA: I think it sounds like fun.
+
+MARISHA: I agree.
+
+SAM: Well, Molly, you’ve been talking about
+getting out of town.
+
+TALIESIN: And it is out of town.
+
+SAM: It gets us out of town.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s almost perfectly out of town. I’ve
+always wanted to go to Deadwood.
+
+MARISHA: We’ve already– yeah. How awesome does
+that place sound?
+
+LAURA: Shadygrove?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: The shitty swamp?
+
+TRAVIS: Shadycreek Run.
+
+LAURA: No, Shadycreek. Well that would be probably
+the second one, right?
+
+MARISHA: After, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I am feeling greedy.
+
+LAURA: How do you feel about it, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: I am along for the ride.
+
+TRAVIS: You have no preference?
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I’m up for all of it, you know?
+Whatever you guys decide.
+
+TRAVIS: Any preference to water versus, perhaps,
+an abundance of dry ground?
+
+TALIESIN: Versus both.
+
+LAURA: Well, I mean, we’re all leaning more
+towards this than going to the Menagerie Coast for
+
+the Empire right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it does sound like fun.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I don’t like contracts. We already
+gave our blood to this guy.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re already in.
+
+LAURA: That is as contract-y as contract gets.
+
+MARISHA: Exactly.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, if this is as aggressive as they say
+it is, an attack on the border, I’m sure that
+
+legionnaire’s job will be there when we return
+anyway. Price might have increased.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Seems like the Empire has enough
+money to just throw at problems. I don’t think
+
+that’s going to change. Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Better to bet on the underbelly rising up
+than the top maintaining what it has.
+
+SAM: Also, this way gets us to go straight through
+Hupperdook.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) It does! We can stop by
+Hupperdook!
+
+SAM: I’m just saying.
+
+TRAVIS: Remind me what’s in Hupperdook?
+
+LAURA: I have no idea!
+
+SAM: It’s like a cool name for a town.
+
+LAURA: I imagine that all of the buildings look
+like mushrooms.
+
+MARISHA: They’ve got a wax museum. Largest ball of
+twine.
+
+TRAVIS: Hupperdook?
+
+SAM: Hupperdook!
+
+MATT: The Branson of Wildemount.
+
+MARISHA: The Branson of Wildemount, yeah. I hope
+it is!
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, definitely stopping in Hupperdook.
+
+SAM: They’ve got a soft serve place there. It’ll
+be great.
+
+TRAVIS: So we’re going to take that shady
+underground river out.
+
+LAURA: Yes. We have to be careful of those
+monsters that came out of the–
+
+SAM: We know those monsters, though. I took care
+of all those traps. Could someone remind me,
+
+because when The Gentleman looks at me I get a
+little bit– yeah, you know, flippity-flee?
+
+TRAVIS: Turned on?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s it. Like into it.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you crushing on him?
+
+SAM: No, the sweat thing bothers me.
+
+LAURA: It’s not sweat. I think it’s–
+
+SAM: I think it’s sweat.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to peek around and look at the
+Gentleman.
+
+MATT: Okay. He’s back at the far table. He’s
+currently drinking and it looks like he has a
+
+small book of some kind that he’s thumbing
+through.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Is he moist?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Are you?
+
+TRAVIS: How many of us are uncomfortable hearing
+that word?
+
+LIAM: All of us.
+
+LAURA: Eight.
+
+MATT: In this low light, it’s hard to see. But
+when you were speaking to him earlier there was a
+
+layer of general moisture across his skin.
+
+LAURA: What kind of shirt is he wearing?
+
+MATT: The shirt he’s wearing now is a navy blue,
+linen, billowy shirt, open in the chest a bit, you
+
+can see a bit of his chest hair and frilled at the
+sleeves.
+
+LAURA: The thing is if he was sweaty, then why
+would he be wearing long sleeves?
+
+SAM: To hide all the sweat stains on his
+undershirt? I don’t know! It’s just weird, right?
+
+Like he’s always sweating?
+
+LAURA: He doesn’t look like he’s warm, though.
+Normally when people are sweaty they’re going like
+
+this: (breathing heavily)
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+LAURA: You know?
+
+SAM: Yes. Anyway, I missed the whole part about
+the swamp. What’s that mission again?
+
+What do we have to do?
+
+LAURA: We go in, we try to find Fabron Keyes and
+secure the safehouse in the swamp and there’s
+
+howling there so probably wolves or something.
+
+SAM: But wait– find the safehouse and do what to
+it?
+
+LAURA: Secure it and come back and tell him where
+it is–
+
+SAM: Secure it?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s gone dark, right? So either
+remove whatever’s in there and get it back up and
+
+running again.
+
+LIAM: And hey, DM, knowing the Empire, how direct
+a route is it from Fabron Keyess area, Berleben to
+
+Shadycreek Run?
+
+MATT: You have a map for that.
+
+MARISHA: There’s a map for that.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll get it.
+
+SAM: Straight shot.
+
+LIAM: We have to go around some mountains right?
+
+MATT: You have to go around the Silberquel Ridge.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s up there.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so we need to go to Berleben or we
+need to go to the swamp, come back here and then go.
+
+MARISHA: You have a printout?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t have a printout.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’m special. Nott has a dot matrix
+printer.
+
+LIAM: (printer noises)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a pretty good printer.
+
+LIAM: Berleben. Hupperdook is over here–
+
+SAM: Oh, yes it is.
+
+MARISHA: And where are we?
+
+LIAM: We’re down there.
+
+SAM: Jester, do you think people who live in
+Hupperdook are called Dookies?
+
+TALIESIN: Huppers.
+
+SAM: Or Huppers?
+
+MARISHA: Oh is it this the Zubenda Swamp? Is that
+what it is?
+
+MATT: Lebenda Swamp.
+
+LAURA: I think we should call them Dookies.
+
+SAM: We should call them Dookies, for sure.
+
+LIAM: And Shadycreek Run was what area again, did
+you say?
+
+MATT: Quannah Breach. Northeast of Nogvurot.
+
+MARISHA: Northeast of what?
+
+LIAM: Quannah Breach. There it is. We’re very
+close to Berleben and then it seems like quite a–
+
+MARISHA: A trek.
+
+LIAM: Stray, yeah, a trek to–
+
+MARISHA: We’ll have to go here, come back, and
+then go again. Also, if we’re going to go through
+
+Berleben anyway, we might as well check in on
+Horris.
+
+TRAVIS: Why?
+
+MARISHA: To make sure he’s, like, alive?
+
+LAURA: What are we going to do if he’s not?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Not tell anyone.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Exactly. Wouldn’t it be better if we just
+don’t know?
+
+MARISHA: Schrödinger’s Horris?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we’ve held up our part of the
+bargain.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+SAM: If I may, Yasha? We’re going to be really
+close to your old, you know, place where you lived?
+
+ASHLEY: May I see the map just to make sure?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Xhorhas is over there.
+
+SAM: Xhorhas isn’t just here. Xhorhas goes all
+the way up here.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s pretty big, but I mean, I’m from the
+south, anyway.
+
+MATT: Actually, northward is not Xhorhas,
+technically. Just east.
+
+LAURA: The Greying Wildlands are in the north.
+
+MATT: Yes, the Greying Wildlands are in the
+north.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s the Greying Wildlands. Oh.
+
+LIAM: If there is a chance to look in on Horris,
+if it is easy, if it doesn’t put us out, you know?
+
+If it’s put right in front of us.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, if he’s there. I just don’t want to
+go out of our way looking for him and all of a
+
+sudden have the guilt of, you know.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s true. I hate guilt.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like our
+efforts here in the city. I think we’ve done good.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Hard to keep track of parties outside of
+our purview.
+
+LIAM: I am over Zadash.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Just over it, huh? Plus, it’ll give
+us time to leave? Maybe things will change by the
+
+time we come back? Or maybe not. We’ll see. Never
+know what happens outside.
+
+MARISHA: So we’re going to take them all? Hop on
+both of his offers, I think?
+
+LIAM: Well, quite frankly, I am a little more
+comfortable in Quannah Breach anyway.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, really?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re more nomadic?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do it!
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it, yeah. We’ll pound our drinks;
+keep them away from Beau because
+
+she’ll drink all of them.
+
+LAURA: I just want to make sure we’re here for a
+full hour, though. I’m going to drink slowly.
+
+TALIESIN: I can use a little– yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to sip it.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+MARISHA: The exhaustion point lasts until you take
+a long rest.
+
+MATT: You don’t get an exhaustion point, you just
+become stunned for a round.
+
+LIAM: For a round, it’s gone.
+
+MARISHA: For the Haste?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You’re fine.
+
+LIAM: It’s just a pain in the ass in combat, not
+in out of combat.
+
+MARISHA: Oh! Once it wears off you’re like–
+
+LAURA: I thought you get a point of exhaustion
+after Haste.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MATT: No. It just stuns you for one round. Which
+in combat is really bad.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll leave Molly and Jester here to nurse
+their drinks and their short rests and we’ll go
+
+back up and speak to the Gentleman. No?
+
+SAM: Yes, of course. I’ll come with you, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Anybody that’s not nursing a short
+rest.
+
+MARISHA: I’m nursing a short rest.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll go with you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I will as well.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you going to be able to heal enough
+to–
+
+LAURA: Am I going to be able to heal enough what?
+
+TALIESIN: For going down river. Or, well, I
+suppose it’s going to be–
+
+LAURA: I’ll just use the one little spell.
+
+MARISHA: We’ll be all right.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s, well– your hit points.
+
+TRAVIS: Is Sorad the female goliath?
+
+MATT: Oh. Sorah.
+
+TRAVIS: Sorah. Is she present in the tavern at the
+moment?
+
+MATT: She is. She’s not right by the Gentleman.
+She’s actually sitting at the table in the– or
+
+sitting at the bar 15 feet away from him, but
+she’s always in his direction. She’s perpetually
+
+hawking his presence and ensuring that nobody
+tries anything funny and that she can get there
+
+quickly if she needs to.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. I will approach.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool.
+
+MATT: He’s in the process of thumbing through a
+small book. He’s finishing a sip from his goblet
+
+and watches you push. “Ah. That was quicker than I
+anticipated.”
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed. We have good news. We have decided
+to take you up on your offer.
+
+MATT: “Which one?”
+
+TRAVIS: The Lebenda Swamp.
+
+LAURA: All of it.
+
+TRAVIS: The Lebenda Swamp is what we’ve decided
+to take you up on.
+
+MATT: “Very well. And you’re not choosing the
+Shadycreek Run?”
+
+SAM: Well, will you be reassigning it very quickly
+if we don’t take it?
+
+MATT: “I need it to be taken care of so if you
+won’t do it I’ll find somebody else who can.”
+
+LAURA: Hmm-mm.
+
+MATT: “Time is of the essence here.”
+
+SAM: That’s the Lebenda one?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. I thought we were doing the beginner’s
+course?
+
+LAURA: We’re going to do that one and then the
+other one! We’ll say yes to both.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, we’re doing both?
+
+LIAM: Well, we’ll hope we can do both. Can we do
+both?
+
+MATT: “You can indeed. If you do both, I’ll be
+happy to reward you with something nice at the end
+
+"of it because that’s quite a feat.”
+
+TRAVIS: Apparently our ambition has no limit. Both
+it is.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking…
+
+MATT: “Very well. Well, I’m happy to know we’re
+doing business together once more. I would
+
+"recommend, if you’re heading to Berleben and
+Lebenda Swamp to take the Bromkiln Byway. We do
+
+"have the river, but one, you have quite a number
+of individuals that aren’t the most quiet, and
+
+"there are certain things that exist throughout
+that 70-ish mile journey you’d be taking underground.”
+
+TRAVIS: By water or also on foot?
+
+MATT: “Either way, it’s still 70 miles to
+Berleben. That’s a long journey to take
+
+"underground if you are–”
+
+LAURA: Not quiet?
+
+MATT: “Not quiet and inconspicuous. Our smuggling
+run usually goes in groups of two to three at most
+
+"to keep it quick and unseen.”
+
+LIAM: When you say “underground,” are you speaking
+metaphorically, or do you literally have a way
+
+underground to get there?
+
+MATT: “You’ve already been there.”
+
+LIAM: The river goes that far?
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+LAURA: The passage that we were in.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we took that for an hour, not 70
+miles.
+
+MATT: “Which is why I’m saying, if you choose to
+otherwise, that’s up to you, but I would recommend
+
+"taking above ground on the Bromkiln Byway. It’s a
+well-carried road. It sees a lot of foot traffic,
+
+"shouldn’t be that dangerous, and it’s nearly a
+straight shot to the swamp.”
+
+SAM: It sounds like it’s going to be no sweat.
+We’ll stay high and dry.
+
+LIAM: What would we have to be wary of in the
+river?
+
+MATT: “Whatever decides to take up residence down
+there.”
+
+TRAVIS: Do we still have the cart, and the two
+horses?
+
+TALIESIN: Of course we have the cart and the two
+horses, yeah. We have the cart, at least.
+
+MATT: You have five horses, if I recall.
+
+TALIESIN: We have horses. Horses for days.
+
+SAM: Crapper, Shitter, W.C., Toilet, John.
+
+MARISHA: I wrote them down.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re unfortunately a little short on
+transportation. We could use a few horses.
+
+MATT: “Seeing as how you’re accepting both, that
+would put you in the business of acquiring the
+
+"advance from both, so that would be– Dweez!
+Please retrieve the advances. 750.” There’s a
+
+brief break before you hear the familiar
+chuckling, and three large sacks are put up onto
+
+the table. “750 gold. The advances for both
+missions.”
+
+TRAVIS: Outstanding. Jester did have an excellent
+question. We’ll need certain remedies, especially
+
+near the water. Anything that you can provide that
+might put us in an advantageous position would be
+
+most appreciated.
+
+MATT: “Dweez, gather what we can spare from the
+supply cabinet, please.” He wanders off for a
+
+moment, and comes back with two small,
+over-the-shoulder satchels. He sets them on the
+
+table. (chuckling) Opens the little lids for them
+and pushes them forward. You watch as one of them
+
+falls forward and clattering out a few inches or
+so, some vials in there. “The one on the right
+
+"should be able to tend to any wounds you sustain
+along the journey. The one on the left can aid
+
+"you, should you find yourself pricked with some
+terrible disease.”
+
+LAURA: Poison and healing, got it.
+
+MATT: “Disease, not poison. Unfortunately, we have
+not that.”
+
+SAM: One of each.
+
+MATT: Two vials in one of healing. They’re both of
+greater healing. The other one is cure disease.
+
+LIAM: Paper and ink?
+
+MATT: “We can provide you with paper and ink,
+should you be so interested. Dweez?”
+
+MARISHA: Didn’t you buy a fuckton of paper and
+ink? You’ve used it all?
+
+LIAM: I’ve used it.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you know what is also as valuable as
+resources, is knowledge. In this swamp area, are
+
+there any particular hazards that we should keep
+an eye out for that your men have seen repetitively?
+
+MATT: “None that I’ve cared to remember. That
+would be more of a question to my ally there, if
+
+"you don’t mind. Speak with Febron. He is very
+familiar with the area and can give you the
+
+"information you seek.”
+
+TRAVIS: I wouldn’t presume to be as lucky as to
+have Louis have tried this mission before and
+
+fucked it up as well, has he?
+
+MATT: “No, I would not ensure such a mission to
+him.” He glances past you, in the far corner you
+
+can see him now leaning over the bar, two full
+cups in, starting to get a little dazed on the stool.
+
+TRAVIS: Hey, Louis! Fuck you!
+
+MATT: His hand does this.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, he’s a winner.
+
+LAURA: You will get 107 gold.
+
+MATT: “Anything else you require?”
+
+SAM: No. This has really whet our appetite.
+
+TRAVIS: Swamp pun?
+
+LIAM: Sure.
+
+SAM: I just can’t stop staring at his face, it’s
+soaking wet! Sorry.
+
+MATT: “Anyway, if our business is complete. I
+appreciate your patronage, I look forward to our
+
+"continued partnership, and I wish you all the
+luck.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+SAM: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking shit.
+
+LIAM: Caleb hangs back all by himself and says:
+(stuttering) Paper and ink?
+
+MATT: Dweez comes up from behind a moment later
+with a stack of regular parchment and ink. He
+
+hands it over. It does not look like it would be
+the necessary enchanted or prepared inks that you
+
+could use to scribe spells per se, but it’s
+parchment and ink.
+
+LIAM: Ja, danke. Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: This is very exciting, two missions at
+once.
+
+LAURA: Well one and then– Oh, I run back to The
+Gentleman. Should we come back here after the
+
+first part or should we continue on and take care
+of them both and then come tell you?
+
+MATT: “That’s up to you, I can’t pay you unless
+you come back, but if you complete them both, and
+
+"do so in ample time, I’ll be happy to pay you when
+you return from both. Just send word, if you
+
+"could, upon clearing our safehouse.”
+
+LAURA: That way you know we did it timely and we
+can get that bonus part.
+
+MATT: “Precisely.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “All right. Thank you very much. Good
+luck.”
+
+SAM: Just going to leave a handkerchief. Just in
+case.
+
+MATT: He just glares at you. Glowering at Nott as
+you all step away from his corner of the chamber.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, it’s still a really good time in the
+day we should go ahead and make preparations. Make
+
+our way back up?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re already ready to leave at a
+moment’s notice.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we already packed our rooms up.
+
+SAM: There’s nothing at Pumat’s anymore.
+
+LAURA: No more Pumat’s.
+
+MATT: You’ve almost cleared out– Between you and
+other patrons in the recent weeks, they’ve cleared
+
+him out. It’s not an endless emporium.
+
+TRAVIS: As we pass that big ogre on the way out I
+say: Kutha, keep it real, all right?
+
+MATT: As you do that, he turns around and a hand
+slaps onto your shoulder, the finger and thumb of
+
+it go from the front of your chest to your small
+back as it grapples you and spins you around and
+
+goes (grunts) and then releases you.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a big hand.
+
+LAURA: As I leave, I flick the Wand of Smiles at
+him again.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking Kutha can’t catch a break.
+
+MATT: Four.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As he peels his large mitt off of Fjord’s
+body and grunts, he turns to the rest of the chamber.
+
+SAM: Here it is.
+
+(laughter and pained yelling)
+
+MATT: He starts pulling at his jaw. It’s almost
+like getting a charlie horse where you can’t stop
+
+the muscles and he tries to stop it.
+
+ASHLEY: The Wand of Smiles.
+
+LAURA: Now I feel guilty.
+
+MATT: Eh, he probably deserved it. You guys ascend
+the stairs back into the main front of The Evening
+
+Nip, and the rest of the afternoon is yours. What
+would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, we can head over to the cart and
+horses.
+
+ASHLEY: Should we just get that started, and we’ll
+go?
+
+LIAM: I am going to run over to Pumat’s to buy
+some paper and ink.
+
+TRAVIS: More?
+
+LIAM: I’m gone.
+
+MATT: Okay, Caleb is just–
+
+MARISHA: I join Caleb, because I went pee last
+time when you guys went to go to Pumat’s.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, there’s nothing there.
+
+LAURA: It’s cleared out.
+
+MATT: Well, there’s some things.
+
+TRAVIS: But you can finally kill him if you want
+to.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Ah, shit there are four more!
+
+MATT: Massacre in downtown Zadash this afternoon.
+
+TRAVIS: As you run off I say: Meet us at the cart
+and horses.
+
+MARISHA: All right. Super fast.
+
+MATT: As you guys charge over to the Pentamarket,
+you make your way to the exterior of The
+
+Invulnerable Vagrant. Stepping inside, there is a
+rather chill, customer-less interior, as two of
+
+the regular Pumats sit at the front. As you step
+into the chamber, “Oh you’re back so soon. I
+
+"figured you had completed all your intended means
+of purchasing.”
+
+LIAM: Ja. This is a quick stop, I don’t want to
+take up too much of your time and we don’t have
+
+much. We have a busy day planned. I was wondering
+if you had, perhaps, maybe 100 gold’s worth more
+
+of that good paper and ink that you have supplied
+me with already.
+
+MATT: “I can go ahead and look. You’re starting to
+really diminish our stockpile.”
+
+LIAM: Oh, ja, I am sorry. Also, I am in need of
+maybe 20-30 gold’s worth of fine incense, if you
+
+have that as well.
+
+MATT: “That I’m pretty sure we can supply, is that
+right? You checking the back?
+
+"I know it was there yesterday, we got plenty
+of incense. Don’t worry, we got you covered.” He
+
+comes back in with two sacks of very strong,
+pungent smelling, incense that, when burning, has
+
+a more pleasant scent. These have been treated
+specifically for rituals and various arcane means.
+
+You get 30 gold worth of incense at your disposal,
+and the 100 gold worth of enchanted inks and
+
+scribing materials and paper that you can utilize
+to make those notes and transition it into a spellbook.
+
+LIAM: Is there anything that you wanted to
+purchase while we are here?
+
+MARISHA: A little birdy told me there might be
+bracers here?
+
+MATT: “That’s one of the few items we have left.
+Yeah. I apologize, it’s a little embarrassing,
+
+"we’ve all been talking about how it’s really
+embarrassing.
+
+"It’s hard to have a shop without inventory.”
+
+MARISHA: Bracers?
+
+MATT: “Oh, yeah. Right over here.” Goes and pulls
+one of the boxes from the shelves. It has a glass
+
+top and he presents it to you. There’s a velvet
+interior with two little alcoves inside where
+
+these very beautiful, silver bracers with
+scrolling and runic sigils carved into it across
+
+the band are present, “These would make a better
+defensive capability for someone who does not
+
+"themselves partake in the use of armor.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh. I don’t partake in the use of armor.
+
+MATT: “Well, that sounds like it’s meant to be.”
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. How much?
+
+MATT: “1200 gold pieces.”
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, Pumat! The fuck?!
+
+MATT: “What?”
+
+MARISHA: I’ll come back when I’m fucking rich,
+aight?
+
+MATT: “Okay, they’ll be here waiting for you.”
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: Holy shit, Pumats.
+
+MARISHA: Holy shit, Pumats.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.” “Thank you.” “Thank you.”
+“Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: I don’t have fucking 1200 gold.
+
+TRAVIS: I do.
+
+MARISHA: How do you have 1200 gold?
+
+LIAM: You don’t want to know how much I have.
+
+MATT: “I apologize, didn’t mean to send you into
+an existential financial crisis. But it’s a really
+
+"powerful enchantment and–”
+
+MARISHA: I’m always in an existential crisis. I’m
+going to go now.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough. Okay well, Pumat Prime worked
+very hard on those. When you come back to get them
+
+"I think you’ll be very happy with amount that
+you’ve spent to keep yourself alive.”
+
+LIAM: We are very appreciative and I don’t know if
+you have already, but you should look into some
+
+sort of membership card or frequent customer
+points.
+
+MARISHA: Stamp punch.
+
+MATT: “I’ll go ahead and bring it up with the big
+guy himself.”
+
+MARISHA: Ten visits.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine potions, the tenth one’s free.
+
+MATT: “Fantastic.”
+
+LIAM: Thousand gold’s worth of paper and the 11th
+ream is free. We’ll go now.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. Okay, thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: We go. Very quickly. Bolt over to the
+cart.
+
+MATT: You guys hastily make your way to the cart.
+
+LIAM: You know that little boost you had back
+there in your fist fight with the blue one? You’re welcome.
+
+MARISHA: Did you fucking slip something into my
+drink, Caleb? What the fuck, man?
+
+LIAM: I cast– That was arc– That was a spell.
+
+MARISHA: Oh. Dude, that shit was awesome. Yeah, I
+was into it.
+
+LIAM: You scratch my back, I will scratch yours.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+LIAM: The others are on a mission, let’s go.
+
+MATT: The rest of you guys gather the carts and
+the horses you have at your disposal. Prepared
+
+yourself for exit from the town. Eventually Caleb
+and Beauregard catch up to the rest of you. What
+
+would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s riding on the cart first?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t need to. I’d feel weird.
+
+SAM: Are you just going to walk?
+
+LAURA: We have horses, you can ride a horse.
+
+ASHLEY: Well yeah, I’ll ride a horse.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we got like five horses and a cart.
+Two horses pulling the cart? Or two and three solos?
+
+MARISHA: Who is good to be lookout while the
+others?
+
+SAM: Do four horses pulling the cart and two
+solo?
+
+LAURA: Two horses pulling the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: How many horses do we have?
+
+SAM: Six. We have six horses.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+SAM: We have six horses.
+
+LAURA: We have six horses?!
+
+SAM: Yes. Only five of them have names. We never
+came up with a name for the sixth horse.
+
+LAURA: I’ll drive the cart.
+
+LIAM: Loaf. How about Loaf?
+
+SAM: Loaf is a good name. We have: WC, Lou, John,
+Crapper, Toilet, and Loaf.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Two horses pulling the cart, and
+four solos?
+
+MARISHA: Jester said she’s riding in the cart.
+
+LAURA: I’ll drive the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Who else wants to be on the cart?
+
+LIAM: I want to be on the cart.
+
+SAM: I want it as well.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take Water-Closet.
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take Loaf.
+
+TALIESIN: W.C.
+
+SAM: That’s the name of the horse.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right, sorry. I’ll take a horse as
+well.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take a horse as well, because you
+guys are all in the cart, yeah?
+
+LIAM: Yasha, will you hold this for me? I put
+Frumpkin on her shoulder and start transcribing.
+
+ASHLEY: (sneezes)
+
+MARISHA: Oh god!
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+TRAVIS: Keep that demon cat away from me. El gato
+es el diablo, all right?
+
+ASHLEY: I give him a pet. But is it real? I don’t
+understand because sometimes it just poofs, you know?
+
+LIAM: It is a real cat.
+
+ASHLEY: I am not trying to make you upset or
+anything, just sometimes it goes away then it
+
+comes back. I’m confused.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin can be here or Frumpkin can be
+there, and right now he is here.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I touch him?
+
+LIAM: He would like you to touch him, yeah. But
+respectfully.
+
+LAURA: When someone kicks him and he poofs, does
+he automatically go to the other place or does he
+
+die for a little bit and come back?
+
+LIAM: No, I think it’s pretty instantaneous and
+honestly I am so glad to have him, but I think
+
+that it is probably nicer on the other side. Does
+your mother ever read stories about the Feywild
+
+and sprites and blumpkins? That’s not the word.
+
+LAURA: My mother never did, but the Traveler told
+me lots of stories.
+
+LIAM: Of the Feywild?
+
+LAURA: Of everywhere.
+
+TRAVIS: The Feywild? Is it like another city?
+
+LIAM: It’s another plane of existence that is a
+mirror slightly off of our own. With us, but apart
+
+from us at all times.
+
+LAURA: There’s faeries, and that is how the
+unicorns get over here.
+
+TRAVIS: One thing at a time.
+
+ASHLEY: He’s making a very strange noise right
+now.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s it sound like?
+
+ASHLEY: (purring)
+
+LIAM: That means he likes you.
+
+SAM: Did you not have cat where you grew up?
+
+ASHLEY: No, I have heard of cats, but Frumpkin
+is one of the first.
+
+SAM: Did they have dogs?
+
+TRAVIS: Only rats that they ate.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s true, we have lots of rats. We have
+many creatures.
+
+LAURA: Do you have wolves?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What did you keep as pets?
+
+ASHLEY: We didn’t really have any.
+
+MARISHA: You didn’t have any pets?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+MARISHA: Oh.
+
+ASHLEY: But I like him.
+
+LIAM: I tell Frumpkin to nestle in and he starts
+doing that thing where they claw their way in when
+
+they’re getting cozy. It hurts, but it’s also
+lovable at the same time.
+
+MARISHA: Making biscuits!
+
+MATT: Roll for kitty biscuits.
+
+TRAVIS: Pure death. Fucking anaphylactic shock.
+
+LIAM: Then I stop talking to everybody and I start
+transcribing things.
+
+TRAVIS: I guess I’ll take the lead and we’ll make
+our way out the city. Heading northeast, right?
+
+TALIESIN: North.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: To the Swamp!
+
+TRAVIS: To the Bronchial Byway.
+
+MATT: The Bromkiln, yeah. The Bronchial Byway, the
+life breath of the land.
+
+MARISHA: We ruin everything Matt creates.
+
+LIAM: Sometimes you do make them bulletproof and
+we get mad. But most of the time, we can crack the code.
+
+MATT: I enjoy it, and I’m sure every Dungeon
+Master out there who watches knows exactly how I
+
+feel when it happens. You gather your things up
+into the cart, the horses begin to push off and
+
+you make your way through the city streets of
+Zadash to the Northern Wall. You can still see
+
+some of the townsfolk coming out and going about
+their day, but the general air of tension and
+
+nervousness still holds court throughout the
+city’s streets. There are clusters of crownsguard.
+
+They’re escorting the Righteous Brand to the
+eastern side. You make your way to the northern
+
+side of the city where the Signet Wall district
+begins where you have the large fortresses, where
+
+the military stays, and the barracks that surround
+that region. To the large gate that exits the
+
+building out into the rest of the Marrow
+Valley. As you make it through the large, raised
+
+portcullis, along with a few other folks that are
+in the process of making their own journey into
+
+the north or to the west or to the east, you step
+out onto the dirt road, into the green blowing
+
+fields, the cold breeze that’s blowing beneath the
+graying skies of Wildemount and you push off.
+
+Being here for a while, it seems strange, but also
+welcoming to be back on the open road for a
+
+moment. You glance around and take a deep breath
+as that clean post-rain air still seems to linger
+
+in the vicinity. As you make a sweep on the
+horizon, with the rolling hills and patches of
+
+trees, catch your vision off to the far east on
+the outside of the Signet Wall district, you see
+
+hundreds if not thousands of soldiers, all
+gathered and making their way east in small
+
+troops. Here the mainstay source, the bulk of
+military power in the center of the Empire makes
+
+its way to war. You see horses, siege engines, and
+large ballista on wheels all being carried and
+
+prepared for the journey to the borders of Xhorhas
+and beyond. With that, you pick up and continue
+
+northward, making your way long the Amber Road,
+towards to where the Bromkiln Byway carves off to
+
+your destination. First, I want to ask you guys:
+what pace are you travelling at? You can go slow
+
+pace if you try to be super stealthy. Normal pace
+is fine. Fast pace you go quickly, but you
+
+threaten exhaustion if you continue to push that
+way.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we’ll go at a regular pace until
+we get to the Bromkiln Byway. At the Amber Road,
+
+we should be all right.
+
+MATT: You’re looking at about a 75-mile journey.
+With the cart and the horses, you’re looking at
+
+about 30 miles a day at a normal pace. You’re
+probably looking at two nights’ stay on the road
+
+before you reach your destination.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You guys push forward and watch as, behind
+you, the large, looming walls and towers and
+
+buildings of Zadash that had been your home for
+weeks disappear slowly behind you. Once again,
+
+you’re embraced by the wilds and open landscapes
+of the valley. You take a moment to reflect upon
+
+the insanity and craziness of the urban atmosphere
+and the peace, as well as the unknown, that comes
+
+with traversing such an open plain. I’d say you
+have maybe a few hours before the sun sets. Right
+
+as you hit the intersection between the Amber Road
+and the Bromkiln Byway, the sun has set. The sky
+
+is dark; the clouds prevent starlight from coming
+through, and what moonlight would be visible is
+
+choked, giving you only the faint glimmer of the
+moon’s location behind the cloud cover.
+
+What would you like to do?
+
+SAM: It’s nighttime now?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+LAURA: I bet someone’s going to try to jump out at
+us.
+
+SAM: We should not let them do that.
+
+LAURA: They do that to people that are on the open
+road.
+
+SAM: Why would you tell me that? Now I’m very
+scared!
+
+TRAVIS: Are there any tree clusters or rock
+clusters or boulders or anything that provides shelter?
+
+MATT: At your current location? Make a perception
+check with disadvantage because it is nighttime.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m the wrong person to be doing this.
+
+TALIESIN: I was going to say I was hoping to find
+the same thing.
+
+MARISHA: I put on the goggles.
+
+MATT: Then you can both make individual rolls, or
+one of you can aid the other.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll aid you.
+
+MATT: You take your advantage on your roll.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. That was a two with advantage.
+
+MARISHA: What did you roll, a one and a two?
+
+TALIESIN: A two and a one.
+
+LAURA: That’s really shit.
+
+MATT: As the night has fallen and you spend the
+better part of the next hour trying to look for
+
+any physical representation of safety or cover, it
+is just open rolling hills and field. There might
+
+be places where you could stay low and perhaps
+keep relatively safe, but nothing that sticks out
+
+to you, unfortunately. What do you plan to do?
+
+LAURA: We should probably pull over or something
+and look around and see.
+
+TRAVIS: Just off the road is fine. At this point,
+I’d like to see the road as well. That way we can
+
+see anyone coming.
+
+MARISHA: Can I go ahead and light a torch, see if
+I can start a fire? Gather some wood?
+
+MATT: Which is a good thing because it gets cold
+at night out here.
+
+SAM: Did we bring any warm clothes?
+
+LIAM: We’re going north.
+
+SAM: We’re the worst.
+
+MATT: It’ll only get colder the further north you
+go. Even at night here– most mornings in
+
+Wildemount, at least this area of Wildemount, all
+the grass is frosted, the windows are frosted. Few
+
+moisture survives the evening without some sort of
+frozen state. As the temperature begins to plummet
+
+continuously after sunset, you begin to find a
+place to set up camp for the evening. Beau takes
+
+the torch, ignites it, and sets a small fire. You
+begin to set up a small circle and maintain warmth
+
+by taking what bits of– and it’s very sparse
+vegetation. If you want to check for anything to
+
+keep the fire going, roll a survival check.
+
+MARISHA: Not great, ten.
+
+MATT: You manage to get some brush gathered,
+you’re probably not going to be able to keep the
+
+fire going all night.
+
+LIAM: I donate the paper that The Gentleman gave
+me.
+
+LAURA: That’s a fast burn, that’s not going to
+last very long.
+
+TRAVIS: I have a torch as well.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a torch.
+
+MATT: Let’s say if you throw in three torches,
+that’ll keep a modicum of the flame going through
+
+the night. Not the most heat, but it’ll be enough
+to prevent you from dealing with the biting cold
+
+as you rest through the night.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll throw in two, Molly.
+
+LAURA: We could camp on top of the cart because we
+won’t be on the ground, it’s warmer on there.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true, park the cart next to the
+fire.
+
+MATT: Who’s taking watch?
+
+LIAM: I’m taking this silver thread and making a
+20-foot cube around the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take first watch.
+
+LAURA: I’ll take first watch with him.
+
+MATT: As the rest of you manage to find yourself
+asleep for the evening, Jester and Fjord take the
+
+first watch. Do you wish to make a perception
+check?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Which one of you is helming?
+
+TRAVIS: My perception’s shit. How’s yours?
+
+LAURA: It’s not awesome, but it’s not horrible.
+
+TALIESIN: For this group, that’s pretty good.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll aid you, how about that?
+
+LAURA: I’m helm.
+
+MATT: Advantage.
+
+LAURA: Oh, goddamn it. 13.
+
+MATT: Keeping an eye out there, other than a
+couple bits of whistling wind that blow through in
+
+segments, you don’t pick up anything shifty, and
+your watch comes to a close without issue.
+
+LAURA: That was an easy watch, then!
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MATT: Next watch?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take second watch.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take second watch as well.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Perception check at disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Who’s helming perception check on this?
+
+MARISHA: How’s your perception?
+
+ASHLEY: Plus two.
+
+MARISHA: I have plus three.
+
+ASHLEY: You do it.
+
+MATT: So you’re aiding. Technically, because it’s
+night, it would be a straight roll.
+
+MARISHA: No, she’s advantaging me.
+
+MATT: The goggles are only a radius. This is a
+general awareness, so it’s just a single roll.
+
+You’re helping her to maintain.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil, and 14.
+
+MATT: Keeping your senses around you and looking
+about, the watch seems to go through, uneventful.
+
+MARISHA: Want to huddle together for body warmth?
+
+ASHLEY: Sure, but Frumpkin is making me so warm.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, no, I’m good.
+
+ASHLEY: I have a very warm shawl, too, but do you
+want my–?
+
+MARISHA: No, my robe is good. It’s thin, but it’s
+high thread count. It’s very good.
+
+ASHLEY: This is as far as I’ve ever been, you
+know?
+
+MARISHA: In terms of?
+
+SAM: (whispered) Romantically.
+
+ASHLEY: Here, I’ve only been to Xhorhas and
+Zadash.
+
+MARISHA: How long since you left Xhorhas? Did you
+grow up there? That’s a better question, take that one.
+
+ASHLEY: I did grow up in Xhorhas. I did grow up
+there, but I left there, I think it was about–
+
+SAM: (whispered) Eight months ago.
+
+ASHLEY: I think it was about eight months ago,
+yeah, from what I can remember. All of this is
+
+still very new, you know? I like this stuff, grass
+and things, you know?
+
+MARISHA: You appreciate grass?
+
+ASHLEY: I think so, it’s a much softer ground to
+sit on, you know? Instead of a marshy, sandy–
+
+MARISHA: Wow, yeah?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh. What was your favorite part about
+Zadash? Xhorhas?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know if I had a favorite part.
+
+MARISHA: Is it that bad?
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, it’s all I know, but it’s probably
+not the best place to grow up, now that I’m seeing
+
+everything else, you know? I think, sometimes I
+wish maybe it was a little different.
+
+MARISHA: Do you still have that “This is home”
+connection with it though? No?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes. I think I will always have that.
+
+MARISHA: That’s nice.
+
+ASHLEY: Well.
+
+MARISHA: I hope to see it someday.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t know if you’re going to be that
+impressed by it, but maybe you’ll like it.
+
+MARISHA: You can see your breath (exhales).
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Well, I wonder, I mean, I wonder if
+anyone else– I think, is our time up, or–?
+
+MARISHA: I think so.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: That was such church youth trip flirting!
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+SAM: Great first date.
+
+MATT: With that, your watch comes uneventful.
+
+LIAM: God’s really cool, right? Right, right.
+
+MATT: Third and final watch.
+
+SAM: Me and Caleb. Me and Molly, I guess. I’m on
+third watch.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take third watch.
+
+MATT: Nott and Molly. Who’s helming this one?
+
+TALIESIN: What’s your– your perception’s probably
+high as balls.
+
+SAM: You don’t know!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, you take it.
+
+MATT: Advantage on yours. Actually, it would have
+been the first one. I started to realize, it’s
+
+advantage, but disadvantage because it’s night.
+
+SAM: Oh, ten. Why is it disadvantage?
+
+TRAVIS: Because it’s night.
+
+MATT: As you guys get part way through your watch,
+conversing, muttering about the recent events, the
+
+sun comes up, uneventful.
+
+TALIESIN: Should’ve put money on Beau. Kicking
+myself for not putting money on Beau.
+
+SAM: If it makes you feel any better, I lost money
+on Jester on the next one.
+
+TALIESIN: It does actually make me feel better,
+thank you!
+
+LAURA: What, you guys? I was at a disadvantage!
+
+TALIESIN: You’re not there, you can’t hear any of
+this.
+
+LAURA: We’re all camping together!
+
+TALIESIN: You’re asleep.
+
+LAURA: Oh, you guys are still on your watch.
+
+TALIESIN: Although that would be what I would
+imagine Jester saying.
+
+MARISHA: That was just an impression.
+
+TALIESIN: (as Jester) Guys, it’s so crazy, you
+know? (as Taliesin) That was terrible.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, she’s like Luigi? (as Luigi) It’s
+a-crazy!
+
+LIAM: Wild and crazy guys!
+
+MATT: (as Luigi) Let’s-a go. (as Matt) With that,
+morning comes. Without the necessary heat, the
+
+fire, the torch, goes out, and right as the frost
+begins to cause you to shake yourself awake, the
+
+morning comes, melting the dew, and you are
+prepped up on your cart and ready for the next
+
+length of your journey.
+
+LAURA: It’s so brisk and wonderful.
+
+LIAM: That was the best sleep I have had in a long
+time.
+
+LAURA: Do you think The Gentleman wakes up with
+frost on his face or his whole body?
+
+SAM: Probably! Unless he mops himself down at
+night.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if he has to crack himself.
+
+SAM: Wait, think about his sheets! What a disaster
+his sheets must be!
+
+LAURA: He has to wash them every night. They would
+be so gross.
+
+TRAVIS: Like when you get a sunburn and you wake
+up, and they’re fucking sticking to you and stuff?
+
+It sucks.
+
+MARISHA: You’re a little dewy, and you don’t know
+why?
+
+TRAVIS: You’ve got to rip them off, just one big
+one.
+
+LAURA: Hey Nott, do you think we’re going to go by
+your hometown when we’re driving up here?
+
+SAM: No, my hometown is further to the south, it’s
+the opposite direction.
+
+LAURA: Oh really?
+
+SAM: Yes. But there is no hometown. We travel
+around a lot, we have an area of operation, but
+
+never really called one place home.
+
+LAURA: So you’re nomadic. Do you have little huts
+you put up as camping tents?
+
+SAM: Yeah, there’s tents, and some people sleep in
+bags or huddle together.
+
+Whatever we can find, really, leaves.
+
+LAURA: Did you like that?
+
+SAM: No, it’s terrible. Would you like that?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, I’ve never tried it!
+
+SAM: No, it’s not fun at all. You find whatever
+piece of cloth you can and wrap yourself in it and
+
+some mud and that’s your bed. It’s terrible.
+
+LAURA: Is that why you left?
+
+SAM: That and many other things, yes. Have you
+ever seen a goblin before?
+
+LAURA: I saw you.
+
+SAM: Yes. Well, have you seen any others?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+SAM: Have you heard stories of them?
+
+LAURA: I could tell you, but I feel like it’s
+offensive or something.
+
+SAM: I mean, you can tell me. There’s no love
+there. Everything you’ve heard about goblins is
+
+true. They’re awful in every way.
+
+LAURA: Well, my mom used to tell me that if you
+act up too much, the goblins will come in the
+
+middle of the night and steal you away.
+
+LIAM: My father used to tell me that they would
+steal children. Ja.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: All right, so that’s true. But it doesn’t
+really matter if you’re good or bad; we will come
+
+and steal you if you are a child, anyway.
+
+LAURA: And would you eat? Because my mom said you
+would eat them!
+
+SAM: Take it easy. We would share with the rest of
+the clan. But of course we would eat children.
+
+TRAVIS: Is she telling the truth? Do I feel like
+she’s telling the truth?
+
+LIAM: Excuse me, Nott, are you taking the piss
+right now?
+
+SAM: I’m really not. Goblins are terrible,
+terrible creatures.
+
+LAURA: Did you ever eat a little child, Nott?
+
+SAM: With great honesty I can tell you that I’ve
+never eaten a child.
+
+TALIESIN: Insight check. I’ve been holding out.
+
+MATT: If you wish to see if she’s telling the
+truth, roll an insight check.
+
+TRAVIS: Shit.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. Natural one.
+
+SAM: Kind of hard to read.
+
+MATT: She’s hard to read. She seems honest and
+forthright in what she’s saying.
+
+TALIESIN: Has she tasted human flesh?
+
+SAM: Listen. My clan, I can’t speak for other
+clans, but the goblins that I was with for quite
+
+some time, we stole from people. We stole food, we
+stole money when we could, we stole clothing and
+
+provisions, but when times were tough, we would
+steal the people, too.
+
+TRAVIS: You and your brothers and sisters? Or you
+and your children or parents?
+
+SAM: Well, goblins don’t really– I’m sure I have
+parents.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. But you’re not super tight with them.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Once a child is born and nursed for a
+bit and then it’s communal property. As soon as
+
+you can work, they give you a job and you do the
+job.
+
+TRAVIS: No favorite brother or sister or playmate
+or–
+
+LAURA: Do you even know who your brothers and
+sisters are?
+
+SAM: Everyone in the clan, I assume, is related
+somehow, but–
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+SAM: Yeah. There was no real family ties.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you fight any urges when you see a
+small child walking through the city, to go up
+
+and, I don’t know, I don’t mean any disrespect,
+but to snatch it?
+
+LAURA: That sounds a little shitty, Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: That’s definitely a little shitty.
+
+ASHLEY: But yeah, you don’t see it and you don’t
+get hungry?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, no, I’m being honest. Because if I
+know there’s a little kid running around, and if
+
+you’re fucking tracing the damn thing, I want to
+know that I can put a hand out.
+
+LIAM: With all due respect, she is smarter than
+that.
+
+SAM: Caleb, as always, is right. I do not have an
+urge to kill and eat children.
+
+TRAVIS: Just checking. I haven’t met many that do,
+so pardon my, you know–
+
+SAM: I do have cravings for things I assume you,
+other species, do not.
+
+LAURA: Like what? Maybe we do.
+
+SAM: Rats.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, that I understand.
+
+SAM: Cats sometimes.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin goes back to the Feywild.
+
+SAM: Bacon. I really like bacon.
+
+LAURA: Everyone likes bacon. Bacon is super good.
+
+SAM: Just in general, meat is pretty good, but no.
+A human child is a wonderful thing. Why would I
+
+want to kill or hurt a human child?
+
+LAURA: Yeah! She doesn’t want to hurt her baby,
+Caleb!
+
+SAM: No. I’m not bloodthirsty. I just get hungry
+for food sometimes. Not for flesh. I just like meat.
+
+MARISHA: I think I still have some pocket bacon.
+You want some?
+
+SAM: I would love some.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, here you go. Yeah.
+
+SAM: (eating noises) No. I like children a great
+deal.
+
+TRAVIS: In your belly?
+
+SAM: No! Not in my belly! You’re borderline
+offensive!
+
+TRAVIS: All Fjord sees is a little kid’s hand,
+like chewing on a little kid’s hand
+
+MATT: Who’s helming watch as you guys are
+traveling?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, I’m on one of the horses. Yeah.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check for me.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no. This’ll be funny. Come on, first
+good roll of the day. That’ll do. That’s a 16.
+
+MATT: That’s enough. As you guys are continuing,
+about midday or so, you’re hitting the noonday
+
+sun, and some of the clouds have broken up
+briefly. You notice a tiny distant curl of smoke
+
+over one of the hills. Just a lazy little line of
+darkness across the–
+
+TALIESIN: Does it look like happy fire smoke, or
+bad, unfortunate, something’s burning, dark?–
+
+MATT: It looks very localized.
+
+SAM: Listen everyone, this is what happened to me.
+Here is my definite backstory.
+
+TALIESIN: No, we’ll do this later. Do you see the
+smoke over there?
+
+SAM: –one day–
+
+TALIESIN: (loudly) Everybody, there’s smoke over
+there. We’ve got to get hold of this right now.
+
+There’s definitely a plume of smoke. I don’t know
+what it means, I don’t know what it’s about, it
+
+could be a good thing, it could be a bad thing,
+but we have to stop this conversation right in its tracks.
+
+SAM: All right, what is it? Does it look like good
+smoke or bad smoke?
+
+TALIESIN: Honestly, I can’t tell from here. It’s
+very localized.
+
+LAURA: Is it into the woods or is it further
+along?
+
+TALIESIN: Is it into the woods, or further along?
+
+MATT: You cannot see. It’s over one of the larger
+hills that’s blocking what its source is. It’s
+
+about a mile or so off of the road if you were to
+go ahead in that direction.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s about a mile off the road.
+
+MARISHA: It’s just chimney smoke. Just keep
+moving.
+
+TALIESIN: It doesn’t look like chimney smoke. I’m
+not sure.
+
+TRAVIS: So there’s fire. So what?
+
+MARISHA: Campfire smoke?
+
+TALIESIN: Does it look like campfire smoke?
+
+MATT: It could be. It could be chimney smoke. It’s
+not a billowing column.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not a billowing column.
+
+SAM: When you say it, it has such a different
+color to it.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s people, though. Or something.
+
+SAM: They’re burning people?
+
+TALIESIN: I mean, just be on alert. They could be
+burning anything.
+
+SAM: We call that a barbecue.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll find, once and for all, the
+answer: What do children taste like?
+
+MATT: Continuing onward, about ten minutes later
+you get just around the edge of where that hill
+
+was, and you can see the source of the smoke.
+There, nestled between a small cluster of trees
+
+and a bit of natural rock formations, a small
+shack that the smoke is coming from.
+
+LAURA: It’s a small shack.
+
+MATT: Continue going forward on the road?
+
+LAURA: Should we go knock on the door?
+
+TRAVIS: Did you want to see if somebody worth
+bargaining with or something?
+
+LIAM: Why don’t we send my cat?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: Weird people live in shacks in the woods.
+
+TALIESIN: They’ll be happy to see a cat.
+
+TRAVIS: Send the cat.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think we’re even going to pull
+over.
+
+LAURA: No, we’ll just keep going.
+
+TRAVIS: Is the shed from where we are now, still
+like a mile away?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s about a mile away.
+
+LIAM: If it’s of interest, we can turn around.
+
+LAURA: The shack is a mile away.
+
+LIAM: A mile away?
+
+LIAM: Oh.
+
+LAURA: Can Frumpkin be a bird?
+
+LIAM: (reluctantly) Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: For a bit.
+
+TRAVIS: I want to check out the shack.
+
+LIAM: All right. For you, Fjord, I will make
+Frumpkin a bird.
+
+LAURA: Not for me, though. Caleb hates me.
+
+SAM: We could just walk over there. It’s a hassle
+to turn him into a bird.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Keep your cat.
+
+LIAM: You are more sensitive than I would have
+imagined.
+
+LAURA: I want people to like me.
+
+LIAM: You’re so tough, but everybody here likes
+you.
+
+SAM: Yasha’s leading the way?
+
+LAURA: You’re checking out the shack?
+
+LIAM: I was just about to make a really cool owl.
+Are we really? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: A really cool hour?
+
+MATT: Yasha’s going to the shack. Is it just
+Yasha?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m following.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going too.
+
+LIAM: Wait, she’s going to the shack?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, so Yasha, Molly, and Fjord are heading
+to the shack.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll be right back!
+
+LIAM: I put Frumpkin back on her shoulder.
+
+MATT: As you guys make your way up, cresting the
+hill, down into this small, localized valley
+
+toward where the shack is with the clusters of
+trees and the edge of a small forest cluster is a
+
+little bit past it. You approach the shack, and as
+you get towards it you get a better look at it.
+
+It’s made of simple masonry and stones lodged
+together to create the outer walls of it. It can’t
+
+be more than 20 feet by 20 feet in size. It’s not
+a large abode. There is one brick chimney where
+
+that single curl of smoke that was visible off
+your end was there, there’s a wood chopping block
+
+on the outside with an axe embedded and left in it
+with couple of pieces of firewood off to the side.
+
+There’s a tanning easel set there for whoever has
+been utilizing it. There is a front door. You see
+
+a window that has no glass in it. It’s maybe that
+big or so, it’s more for keeping an eye out, or
+
+looking through it.
+
+TRAVIS: Scanning the land and the trees around,
+doing a quick once-over of the close area.
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Six.
+
+MATT: Looks fine.
+
+TRAVIS: Looks clear.
+
+TALIESIN: Great.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll head around back.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’m going to get off my horse.
+
+MATT: You get off the horse.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to start looking through Frumpkin
+in an attempt to let Yasha know I am with her. I
+
+make Frumpkin do this to her forehead (knocking)
+with his paw.
+
+MATT: This soft paw starts tapping you in the
+face.
+
+ASHLEY: (spitting) Stop it.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s a good question. I know that we
+were loosey-goosey with familiar things. I know
+
+that we’ve said that I can see this far away, but
+I probably cannot make him do that this far away.
+
+MATT: Command, right.
+
+LIAM: 100 feet, I take it back.
+
+MATT: You still blow, and the fur gets in your
+nose. Fjord, you head around back? In the back,
+
+there’s a couple of cured and salted meats that
+are hanging from the back of the ramshackled roof
+
+that ends, and curves down a bit. Over time the
+weathering has caused it to curl under. There is
+
+another doorway that leads in the back. It looks
+like there is no window back here. There is a
+
+single window out front, and there are two doors
+in the front and back of it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll make my way another quarter way
+around the house so I can see Yasha and Molly, and
+
+I’ll say: Go ahead, I’ll keep an eye out. I can
+see both.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to knock on the door, yeah?
+
+TALIESIN: That seems fair.
+
+ASHLEY: (knocking)
+
+MATT: You hear a little bit of rustling, a couple
+heavy footsteps. You hear a large metal rod shift,
+
+and it creaks open, about two to three inches.
+There you see what I can only describe as an
+
+elderly full-blood orc. His head wreathed and
+tangled grey coarse hair, like a crown around the
+
+top of the head that goes past the mouth and over
+the chest to about mid-point there. A foot-long
+
+beard around his chin that ends at about the
+bottom of the clavicle, or the sternum. Muscular
+
+and hunched, his gray-green skin looks thick and
+weathered, and folded crow’s nests under where the
+
+nose and the mouth is, the two heavy tusks
+protruding from underneath the lower jaw. His eyes
+
+are sunken and bloodshot, around the side of the
+yellow sclera. One hand opens the door, while
+
+another one remains out of sight. As the face
+pushes forward to inspect you, a low voice says,
+
+“Your business?”
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, yes, hello. We were just passing
+through and we saw some smoke, so we just wanted
+
+to make sure everything was okay, and come over
+here and check on you, but you seem to be fine.
+
+MATT: “Everything is fine.”
+
+TALIESIN: Selling any wares? Or do you need any
+news from the other side of the road?
+
+MATT: “Have you news to share?”
+
+TALIESIN: There are skirmishes at the border, and
+soldiers are moving east, lots of them, worth
+
+noting. We’re trying to avoid it.
+
+MATT: “Good to know.” The door begins to close.
+
+ASHLEY: But did you have– I don’t think you
+answered the other part of what he was saying. Do
+
+you have any wares for–
+
+TALIESIN: For sale.
+
+ASHLEY: For sale?
+
+MATT: Leans further in.
+
+ASHLEY: Like some meats.
+
+MATT: Make a charisma check.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, yeah!
+
+ASHLEY: Now, I have a minus two, guys.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s still.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. 11.
+
+MATT: Okay, all right.
+
+ASHLEY: Shimmy the shake.
+
+MATT: Glaring at you with one eye peeking through.
+There’s a bit of a grunt, and the breath emanates,
+
+and it smells of heavy pepper and dust. A bit of
+smokiness to it. The door opens slightly more, and
+
+the head peeks through to give you a good look
+over. “Maybe for trade.”
+
+ASHLEY: What kind of trade?
+
+MATT: “What do you have to trade?”
+
+SAM: The cat!
+
+MATT: Reaches out and–
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+SAM: Yeah, do it.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m just moving him around. I can’t!
+
+TALIESIN: We have some bits and pieces, what do
+you need? We have gold, but you don’t really
+
+strike me as the type who cares.
+
+MATT: “Gold doesn’t hurt other passersby.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a few bits. What do you need?
+Do you need tools?
+
+MATT: “Tools are helpful.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull out–
+
+MATT: “Vegetables. Fresh produce, maybe.”
+
+TALIESIN: Do we have anything? Fresh produce we’re
+a little thin on because we’re just on the road,
+
+but we do have–
+
+ASHLEY: We might have some bacon.
+
+MATT: He opens the door a bit further and looks to
+the left. He looks to the right. You’re off to the
+
+side of the wall, though, so you don’t see him and
+he doesn’t see you. He goes, “Come in,” and opens
+
+the door fully and steps back. You can now see he
+had, in the other hand, a really nasty-looking,
+
+somewhat rusted battleaxe that he had right around
+the door, just in case. He goes and sets the loop
+
+of the handle of it and puts it over a knob that’s
+in the wall and then steps inside his small hovel
+
+as you look in the inside. It’s fairly bare, but
+there are lots of furs that have been skinned and
+
+cured that are up on the walls that are hanging,
+from wolves, from badgers, different other
+
+creatures that he’s probably hunted and brought in
+here for the tanning process. You see, hanging on
+
+the edge, a handmade piece of hide armor that has
+been recently stained, and as soon as you get
+
+close you can smell the stained scent off of it.
+You get the sense here, based on the tanning stuff
+
+set up outside, that that’s probably part of his
+trading business.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a nice piece of hide armor.
+That’s very nice.
+
+MATT: “It’s also for trade or purchase. Also, I
+have meats. I have pelts.”
+
+ASHLEY: How much are you selling the hide armor
+for?
+
+MATT: He thinks to himself for a second and
+considers the time and energy he’s put into it.
+
+“Handmade. 15 gold pieces.”
+
+TALIESIN: How about 16 gold pieces and you throw
+in a little bit of meat?
+
+MATT: “I give you two pounds of meat.”
+
+TALIESIN: Perfect.
+
+MATT: He coughs a bit, goes over, and starts
+grabbing the armor and pulling it off of the knob
+
+and setting it down, grabbing some meat. He opens
+the back door and steps out and starts pulling it
+
+off of some of the racks of nails on there.
+
+TRAVIS: I can hear it, but I can’t see it.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You’re staying where you are?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll start making my way over to their
+horses, having heard them go inside. I think.
+
+LIAM: I would say Caleb has been narrating this to
+everybody back.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? Okay. He grabs the meats, sets them in
+a small sack, ties it up, hands it over. The armor
+
+he preps and folds and sets over, hands it to
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: I pay the man. Pleasure doing business
+with you. Be careful. There’s soldiers running
+
+around all over the place right now.
+
+MATT: “I’m aware.”
+
+TALIESIN: Have a lovely day.
+
+ASHLEY: Thank you very much. Apologies for
+intruding.
+
+MATT: “Good luck.” He closes the door. You hear
+(deadbolts locking).
+
+TRAVIS: Who was that?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve met weirder.
+
+TRAVIS: What was in there?
+
+ASHLEY: It looks like there’s some hide armor.
+
+TALIESIN: And meat.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Nice.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, we got some food for the road.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+TALIESIN: There was a trapdoor in the floor and
+there were just people stuck underneath there,
+
+wasn’t there? Three more points on that perception
+roll and I’d have been like “That carpet looks
+
+like it’s been moved recently.”
+
+ASHLEY: Shit.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s all right.
+
+TRAVIS: Was it just the one guy in there?
+
+ASHLEY: It seemed like it.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I’ve met weirder people.
+
+ASHLEY: He is selling stuff if you want to go
+check.
+
+TRAVIS: What did he have? Just meat and–
+
+ASHLEY: Meat and–
+
+TALIESIN and ASHLEY: Armor.
+
+TRAVIS: Nah.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, okay. Shall we?
+
+MATT: You guys mount back up on your horses and
+make your way back to the rest of the group on the cart.
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of armor is it out of?
+
+MATT: It’s hide armor.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s hide armor?
+
+MATT: It’s well-made, hand-crafted hide armor, for
+anybody who would have use for it, whether it be
+
+using or reselling it. That’s up to you.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+SAM: Nothing?
+
+TALIESIN: We made a friend.
+
+LAURA: Did you kill someone for that?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: He’s dead.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s very dead. And then he rose up from
+the grave again and we had to kill him again.
+
+Twice. Same man.
+
+ASHLEY: But that shack is now ours.
+
+LAURA: Great!
+
+SAM: Great! Can we stay the night there?
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should just live here instead of
+going anywhere else.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m thinking of planting soybeans.
+
+LIAM: This is our kingdom.
+
+ASHLEY: This is our keep. What do we name it?
+
+LIAM: Small Shit Keep.
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we?
+
+LAURA: Let’s keep going.
+
+MATT: You guys continue onward for the rest of the
+day until, eventually, the sun sets and you find
+
+yourselves with evening quickly taking the sky.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s make camp before we completely lose
+light this time.
+
+TRAVIS: Good call.
+
+MATT: Who’s helming the search for a good place to
+camp?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll look this time.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll help.
+
+MATT: Perception check with advantage because the
+sun is still up.
+
+LAURA: Don’t fuck this up, Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: You rolled the same, well, almost the
+same.
+
+TRAVIS: Ten.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, but I’m helping him.
+
+MATT: So he got advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Plus? But you said advantage? Oh, right.
+
+TRAVIS: Ten.
+
+MATT: You glance off, and maybe about 30 minutes
+up the road you can see a small forest, maybe two
+
+or three miles in diameter. It’s a cluster of
+trees and would probably be a way
+
+to camp off of the road.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a cluster of trees up ahead. We
+could aim for that.
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do it.
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of meat is this, out of
+curiosity?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. It’s just going today.
+
+MATT: It is meat.
+
+TALIESIN: As far as I know, it could be veggie.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to take a little niblet of it.
+
+MATT: It’s good. It’s a little dry, but it’s
+salted. It’s cured. It’ll keep for a while.
+
+A little chewy.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s very good. From tasting it, do I know
+what it is?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+TALIESIN: If only I had help counting to the
+number four!
+
+LAURA: Have you ever tried human before?
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll see. Don’t fuck me, Gil. Five.
+
+MATT: It’s good.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s very good.
+
+TALIESIN: I think I’m going to want more of this.
+I’m not sure where it’s coming from,
+
+but I definitely think–
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I like it a lot.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m getting a taste for it.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, it’s a delicacy.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to start making a nice, pretty
+bed in the cart. It’s going to be really nice looking.
+
+SAM: For all of us or just you?
+
+LAURA: For anyone who wants to stay in here with
+me.
+
+SAM: I would like that.
+
+LAURA Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to make a fire again.
+
+TRAVIS: We can break off some branches and some
+kindling.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s trees.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can do that. You manage to set up
+right as the sun completes setting. You build up
+
+this little campfire in the center. You set up
+your bedding around it. The cart is a little ways
+
+off. Unless you’re putting the bedding in the cart
+and putting that there next to it? Okay. You put
+
+the cart there.
+
+LIAM: Silver thread.
+
+MATT: Thread around the edges. Okay. Who’s taking
+first watch?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take first watch.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’ll take first watch. Unless
+someone objects. All right, that’ll do. Do you
+
+want to or– What’s your– I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: Roll a normal roll because you are keeping
+an eye through darkness.
+
+TALIESIN: But I have night vision?
+
+MATT: Night vision is only out to a certain
+radius.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+MATT: You both maintain the first watch as you
+continue looking out towards the darkness beyond
+
+the visible trees that are refracting what little
+bit of light makes it to their bark. Looking into
+
+the shadows, your watch comes to an end,
+uneventful.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so glad to be out of that bloody
+city.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, me too, I guess. I just am excited
+to see more, you know.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s nice to be on the road again.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, it’s nice to be on the road.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never been up this way before.
+
+ASHLEY: You haven’t?
+
+TALIESIN: Not that I can remember. Not that I
+know.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s true.
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: If I look around, are there flowers
+anywhere?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: You haven’t done that before.
+
+ASHLEY: Where’s investigation? Oh, eight.
+
+MATT: It takes you a little while. You start
+getting a little nervous, because Yasha just
+
+vanishes in the darkness, saying, “I’ll be right
+back,” and is gone for like 40 minutes.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, she’s going to be gone for another
+six days now.
+
+LIAM: I found poison oak, you guys!
+
+MATT: You do come back with a handful of small
+posies. They’re nothing special, but they’re flowers.
+
+ASHLEY: I found some of these. I’m going to put
+them in my book. I’ve gotten a lot
+
+of different ones now.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s lovely.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I’m going to save them. I’m getting
+quite the collection.
+
+LAURA: Then I’m going to crumple them up!
+
+MATT: You guys finish your watch. Who’s taking the
+next watch?
+
+SAM: We will.
+
+LIAM: I got it.
+
+LAURA: Never mind.
+
+MATT: All right. Nott and Caleb. Who’s taking
+point on this?
+
+LIAM: I am.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll.
+
+SAM: But you can’t see in the dark.
+
+LIAM: I have (popping noises)
+
+SAM: Oh yeah.
+
+LIAM: With advantage or straight?
+
+SAM: I will aid.
+
+MATT: This would be a straight roll for you.
+
+LIAM: Straight roll.
+
+MATT: The lanterns, they’re helping you see the
+close vicinity.
+
+LIAM: I will still do it.
+
+MATT: I’ll say sure. How far can the lights go
+out? What’s the range?
+
+LIAM: Oh, I think it’s 60 feet? I bet that’s
+wrong. It is 120 feet.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so roll with advantage.
+
+LIAM: Ok, I’ll roll the twins. Hey, really good.
+That’s a 22.
+
+MATT: 22? Nice. You guys are sitting there for a
+bit, enjoying the time by the fire, conversing.
+
+Caleb, you’re keeping an eye out beyond the
+various tree trunks. You hear the snapping of a
+
+twig and you see some shifting of shadow.
+
+LIAM: Nott, there’s something.
+
+SAM: Hmm, what?
+
+LIAM: Something.
+
+SAM: What is it?
+
+MATT: A few things.
+
+LIAM: Whack!
+
+MARISHA: Ow.
+
+SAM: Which direction? Point to it.
+
+LIAM: I just smack Beau and then–
+
+SAM: Oh, shit. Are they all on one? Do I see
+anything?
+
+MATT: As you glance around and he’s pointing this
+out and you begin to come to consciousness–
+
+LIAM: I cast Mage Armor.
+
+MARISHA: (whispered) Jester!
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+MARISHA: Shh!
+
+MATT: At that moment, as soon as you finish
+casting Mage Armor, there’s a little flash of
+
+arcane energy and two arrows come shooting out of
+the shadows, right towards you. Natural 20 and a
+
+six, which would bring it to ten.
+
+LIAM: The second does not hit, but the first one
+obviously does.
+
+MATT: All right. You suffer five points of
+piercing damage as the arrow catches you right in
+
+the left pectoral muscle, and I need you to make a
+constitution saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: What was that?
+
+TRAVIS: Poison arrow.
+
+LAURA: Or a sleep arrow.
+
+SAM: Or a health cure arrow.
+
+LIAM: Not great. Ten.
+
+MATT: You feel this burst of poison begin to pulse
+through your veins. You are considered poisoned.
+
+As you guys all see this happen, you glance around
+and you can see a bunch of small shapes beginning
+
+to skitter from around some of the trees. This
+growling sound, almost barking sound. There’s a
+
+few strange, furred wolves emerging from one side,
+two or three of them, their eyes glistening as the
+
+light from the fire manages to catch it from an
+angle. Behind them, these two heavy forms begin to
+
+emerge, and one of them goes, “Oh no! They’ve
+awakened! Gonah!” “I know, Emmett!” And we’ll come
+
+back to roll initiative here as we’re going to
+take a quick break.
+
+MARISHA: The break? Okay. That felt like the end
+for some reason.
+
+ASHLEY: It did! I got panicked.
+
+MARISHA: No cliffhanger!
+
+MATT: No. We have a water break. We’ll come back
+on that and roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god!
+
+MATT: As your guys’ campfire caught someone’s
+attention. For our Wyrmwood giveaway tonight–
+
+LIAM: Shit! I wanted to talk to Nott!
+
+SAM: Never going to happen.
+
+MARISHA: So I was thinking (grunts)
+
+MATT: Tonight we’re giving out our fantastic
+ziricote dice tray from our friends at Wyrmwood.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s sexy.
+
+LIAM: Matt’s wood.
+
+MATT: I’m pretty sure, yeah. This is the wood that
+I use on mine. Very slick. Tonight’s keyword is
+
+“memories.” If you want to, come into the Twitch
+chat. Enter the phrase once. More than once and
+
+you’ll be disqualified and, unfortunately, it’s
+only available to friends in the U.S. and Canada
+
+except for Quebec. But we’ll come back with the
+winner here at the end of the break.
+
+MARISHA: And stay tuned because during the break,
+we’re going to play the first episode of Key
+
+Question, because it’s Deadpool related, and
+Deadpool’s tomorrow. It’s an edited version
+
+because it’s a long episode but you get a sample.
+Okay bye.
+
+MATT: Thank you. We’ll see you back here in a few
+minutes.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everybody. That was all right.
+Before we jump in, we do have a winner from the
+
+break for our fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway. The
+winner is Brian Spinkicker! Brian Spinkicker,
+
+congratulations. We’ll get that out to you ASAP.
+Congrats to you, my friend. Exactly. I guess I
+
+should bring out the map.
+
+TRAVIS: Bring it out!
+
+LAURA: At least we got a surprise attack. That’s
+good.
+
+SAM: Anyway Caleb, this is what happened to me
+as– Oh no!
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, they’re huge!
+
+LIAM: There’s big people. There’s little people.
+
+MATT: Glancing around, you see a cluster of
+goblin-like creatures coming out of the nearby
+
+forest, helmed by two large ogres that are yelling
+across the way.
+
+SAM: You said goblin-like creatures.
+
+MATT: It is very shadowy and dark. You can’t even
+see. A cluster of wolves also are circling from
+
+that side.
+
+LAURA: Wolves? Goblins? Oh shit balls.
+
+MATT: I did not have the cart and horses with me,
+I thought I did and I left them at home. We’ll say
+
+that they got spooked after the arrows were fired
+and are off the side of it.
+
+SAM: Nice improv!
+
+MATT: To that note, everyone, I need you to roll
+initiative.
+
+Oh my god.
+
+MARISHA: Here we go!
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: (chanting) Level five!
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: You’re asleep, though.
+
+MATT: I– (concerned sound) Okay. All right, to
+that note, friends: 25 to 20?
+
+MARISHA: 24! A natural 20 on the most useless
+category. Not a useless category, but in terms of
+
+a Nat 20, meh. But exciting! I don’t want to shit
+on it!
+
+LAURA: You don’t want to curse it, right.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not cursing!
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+LIAM: 18.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, Fjord, Molly.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s really what I do best, guys. It’s my
+most consistent thing that I do is roll shit
+
+initiative.
+
+TRAVIS: Through both campaigns.
+
+ASHLEY: In life and in– Yeah, always.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+MATT: Wow. Ten to five?
+
+ASHLEY: Six!
+
+SAM: Oh wait, I never said mine. 15. Sorry.
+
+LAURA: I was expecting another six.
+
+SAM: Wait, what’d you have Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I had 16.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: Jester and Yasha at the same time. Top of
+the combat round, after the arrows were fired and
+
+Caleb is wincing and pulling back from the blow.
+As these creatures begin to come out of the
+
+shadows, preparing for their continuation of their
+assault, Beau, you’re up first.
+
+MARISHA: Oh Jesus. Oh boy. Where am I?
+
+MATT: You’re right there. Caleb nudged you awake.
+
+MARISHA: I wake up and I go: Fight Club! I run
+towards whatever I see first. Do I see the wolf?
+
+Do I see the goblins?
+
+MATT: Looking this way, as he nudged you, you see the
+wolves, these goblin creatures here, and this
+
+large, looming ogre that was shouting across the
+way to the other ogre, who’s now pushing past the
+
+tree and coming into view.
+
+MARISHA: Beau, in her hazy boss phase, goes: Ogres
+are the leaders. And she runs straight for the ogre.
+
+MATT: As you dart past, it’ll put you right
+there.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to unleash a round of attacks.
+Two attacks.
+
+MATT: As you rush up, grabbing your staff from the
+ground, getting the sleep from your face, you run
+
+towards it. Swing!
+
+MARISHA: The first attack is a ten?
+
+MATT: Ten misses.
+
+MARISHA: No, and the second attack also misses.
+
+MATT: Both first strikes attack. That’s your
+attack action.
+
+MARISHA: Those are both my attack actions. I’m
+going to use a ki point to go into Patient Defense
+
+at that point because that sucked.
+
+MATT: You swing twice. You’re still groggy from
+being woken up and your blows go a bit wide. The
+
+ogre laughs as it palms away one of your strikes.
+
+MARISHA: I yawn and then go into a stance.
+
+MATT: As you get into a stance, you look down and
+there’s the wolf growling, its jaws open, its
+
+teeth exposed.
+
+MARISHA: I turn back to Jester and I go: Jester!
+Puppies! Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: The goblins are taking their turn now. I
+rolled really high on their initiative.
+
+LAURA: They are goblins!
+
+MATT: They are goblins, as now you’ve gotten a
+moment to look. You see them in their greenish
+
+skin. They’re wearing bits of cobbled-together
+leather and hide and pelts of whatever they’ve
+
+scavenged around. They have bits of red and purple
+paint smeared on their face in some war paint
+
+style. They’re all like (goblin sounds). You,
+speaking Goblin, know that they’re essentially
+
+shouting commands. “Don’t engage! Pull back and
+fire!” They’re all keeping their distance, at this
+
+point, this close up to fire, they’re starting to
+back away and rotate, firing volleys of arrows
+
+again towards everybody in the center. That’s
+going to be two against Caleb, one against Nott,
+
+two against Yasha, two against Jester, and two
+against Fjord. Actually, it should be only one
+
+against Fjord, because there’s only eight goblins.
+Yeah, so two against Caleb. That’s cocked. That’s
+
+going to be a 12?
+
+LIAM: 12 does not hit.
+
+MATT: And a six.
+
+LIAM: Does not hit!
+
+MATT: Okay, both miss. Both deflecting off of the
+Mage Armor you put up before.
+
+LIAM: (vomiting)
+
+MATT: That’s going to be one against Nott. It’s
+going to be an eight.
+
+SAM: Miss.
+
+MATT: You duck out of the way and it goes
+vanishing into the darkness beyond. That’s going
+
+to be two against Yasha. That’s going to be a
+nine? And a 23?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: You take four points of piercing damage and
+you need to make a constitution saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh fuck.
+
+ASHLEY: How many points of damage did you say? I’m
+sorry?
+
+MATT: Four points of piercing damage, and make a
+constitution saving throw.
+
+SAM: Oh that’s right, from the first shot.
+
+LIAM: There’s an arrow sticking out of my ribs.
+
+ASHLEY: 22.
+
+MATT: 22. The arrow hits you, and you feel the
+poison pulse through. You flex and grit your
+
+teeth, and your body manages to prevent the poison
+from taking root into your system.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit, sorry! I was just trying to–
+That’s how I get rid of the poison. (airy fart)
+
+MATT: That’s going to be two to Jester. That’s
+going to be a 14? And a 19!
+
+LAURA: As I’m lifting my shield, the other one
+gets underneath it.
+
+MATT: That’s five points of piercing damage to
+you. Make a constitution saving throw.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Natural 20. You manage to shrug off the
+venom of these arrow strikes. One against you, Fjord.
+
+That’s going to be a 15.
+
+TRAVIS: Misses.
+
+MATT: Misses. As you have your shield now.
+
+LAURA: Did I take damage from that one arrow?
+
+MATT: You did. You took five points of piercing
+damage. Just splinters across it. With that, they
+
+all begin to dart back behind cover. This one
+vanishes over here. This one’s going to dart over
+
+to this space there. This darts behind here. They
+both vanish behind the tree there. They all just
+
+dash into the shadows and vanish behind the
+various trees around you. That finishes the round.
+
+Caleb, you’re up with Fjord on deck.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to push through the pain in my
+veins and reach into my satchel and smear molasses
+
+on my hand. I’m going to cast Slow on this batch
+here. They have to make a wisdom save against my DC.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+MARISHA: That’s some southern shit. Get the
+molasses out your ass!
+
+MATT: Wisdom save.
+
+LIAM: 16 is the DC.
+
+MATT: 16 is the DC! All right. For that ogre over
+there, that’s a failure. He’s going to be slow.
+
+LIAM: Speed is halved. Takes negative two to AC and
+dexterity saving throws. Can’t use reactions. On
+
+its turn, it can use either an action or a bonus
+action, not both.
+
+MATT: All right. Then the other goblins there.
+That’s an 18. It succeeds. That one there. That’s
+
+another 18! Two in a row! Sorry about that.
+
+LIAM: That’s okay. I’m going to use my movement to
+get closer into the fire. Maybe over towards Molly
+
+and Yasha.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty. You are maintaining Slow
+concentration on him.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you roll a save against poison, or
+no?
+
+MATT: No, he’s just poisoned.
+
+TRAVIS: What’d you cast on the big guy?
+
+LIAM: Slow.
+
+MATT: That being the case, that finishes up
+Caleb’s turn. Fjord, you’re up with Molly on deck.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to use my bonus action to cast
+Hexblade’s Curse on the big ol’ fellow that Caleb
+
+pointed at.
+
+MATT: As you suddenly watch him, already a
+sluggish creature, moving at an even more sluggish
+
+pace, the shadows around, all of a sudden, jump
+off of the nearby tree trunks and cling to the
+
+interior of its form, around where the nooks and
+crannies are. Almost like a small-scale Venom
+
+symbiote at times.
+
+TRAVIS: I use my 30 feet of speed to run this way,
+southeast.
+
+MATT: Southeast. Around this way, or this way?
+
+TRAVIS: Between these two trees, if I can. Towards
+this direction.
+
+MATT: Okay. That’s ten. 15. 20. 25.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I get within melee of this guy?
+
+MATT: You do get past this guy, who does get
+an attack of opportunity on you, if you’d like.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh really? Five, ten, 15, 20.
+
+SAM: Take it!
+
+TRAVIS: No. I’m going to come this way, over here,
+if I can.
+
+MATT: Okay. Five. Ten. 15. 20. 25. 30.
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+MATT: That’s where you get, there.
+
+TRAVIS: I will use Eldritch Blast against those
+two goblins hiding behind the tree.
+
+MATT: Right there? As you rush past, you spin
+around with the sword and shield in one hand. I
+
+mean, you haven’t drawn your falchion yet.
+
+TRAVIS: I haven’t pulled it yet.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so you just spin around, releasing
+from your grip–
+
+TRAVIS: I now have two bursts of Eldritch Blast.
+
+MATT: You do. One attack for each.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 12 for the first one?
+
+MATT: That does not hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: The second one hits! The first one, the
+goblin has a shield affixed to its wall and it
+
+knocks it out of the way. The Eldritch Blast just
+poofs without any sort of impact. The second one
+
+does hit the other– it poops!
+
+TRAVIS: That’s four plus four is eight, plus four
+is 12. 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: The other goblin goes flying back about five
+or six feet, tumbles to the ground, and is not
+
+moving.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. That completes my turn.
+
+MATT: Finishing Fjord’s turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run directly at the
+creature right there. On the way, I’m going to use
+
+my bonus action to start one of my scimitars. I
+think I get two attacks with that scimitar, then.
+
+MATT: You do. Is this with your Rite of the Dawn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The scimitar gleams with this faint,
+glowing, radiant energy, this luminescent glow to
+
+the blade as he swings towards the singular
+goblin. Make your attacks, if you’d like.
+
+TALIESIN: Setting my new max HP. All right! Attack
+number one is 16 to hit?
+
+MATT: 16 hits!
+
+LAURA: 16 hits the goblin?
+
+MATT: Yep!
+
+TALIESIN: Just double checking, I’m still at a d4
+for–
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. That’s (counting) 11 points
+of damage.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. That’ll do it. You rush
+up and carve right through his torso.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I still have movement?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to head around the tree for
+the other one that–
+
+MATT: That’s (counting) 30. You can get right up
+behind with that goblin.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take one shot at him.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Ugh. Ten.
+
+MATT: As you swing towards it, it manages to take
+a shield and deflect the blade, and your scimitar
+
+sticks into the side of the tree, and you have to
+pull it forth and dislodge and prepare yourself
+
+for the next round.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+MATT: That finishes Molly’s go. Now, the ogres
+take their turn. This one right here, next to
+
+Beau, as you charged up and attempted to pummel
+it, go in a defensive stance, (chuckles). He’s going
+
+to make two greatclub swings towards you, with
+disadvantage, because you have your– Even with
+
+disadvantage, that is a 19 to hit? I rolled a 19
+and a 13.
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: That hits. The second one, that is an 18 and
+a 14.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, miss.
+
+MATT: The second one misses. The first one, as it
+swings down towards you with heavy aggression.
+
+That is 13 points of bludgeoning damage as it
+slams into you and you hit up against the tree. As
+
+you barely catch yourself and right, the second
+swing goes through, and with that, you manage to
+
+pull underneath, your defensive stance ready to
+go, and you jam the club into the tree. The tree
+
+actually shakes, sending a bunch of leaves and a
+couple of birds scatter out from the inside as the
+
+ogre pulls the club back.
+
+MARISHA: 13, correct?
+
+MATT: Correct. With that, the ogre goes ahead
+and– Actually, he’s just going to move over here,
+
+and is going to shout at the dogs, “Go! Carve
+face!” The dogs get ready to pounce.
+
+MARISHA: Did they say carve face?
+
+SAM: Car face!
+
+MARISHA: Car face!
+
+MATT: Ogre only has 20 feet of movement.
+
+MARISHA: It’s All Dogs Go to Heaven, you guys!
+
+LIAM: Is that half of his movement?
+
+MATT: Yep!
+
+LAURA: He has 40 movement?
+
+MATT: Yeah. He’s like (heavy movement) (confused
+grumbles). Not within distance, however, pulls a
+
+javelin out of a small pouch on the side and right
+there, in immediate view, is the tiny goblin that,
+
+at the moment, the ogre thinks might be one of his
+own. Instead, is going to assault the mage that
+
+affected him with the Slow spell and still,
+throwing it slowly, it goes in your direction.
+
+It’s the only action it takes, though.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: That is going to be a 23 to hit? Natural
+17.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take it because Shield won’t match the
+difference.
+
+MATT: That’s the javelin, which does– (pained
+inhale)
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh, the in-suck is the worst!
+
+MATT: 14 points of piercing damage. The javelin
+sinks into your stomach and embeds itself about
+
+four or five inches into your torso to the point
+where the javelin’s now holding itself out from
+
+your body. You immediately grab it, and the shock
+hits you that it managed to drive itself so deep
+
+inside. You aren’t even aware of the damage it’s
+done to your internals, it’s put you in a state of
+
+shock. That’s going to end that guy’s turn, but it
+gets to make a saving throw to try and resist the
+
+Slow spell. That is going to be 15.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MATT: Your spell DC is 16, yeah! It rolled a
+natural 17, minus two. Not very wise, these guys,
+
+so he remains slow. However, I need you to make a
+concentration check.
+
+MARISHA: Oh boy, roll high.
+
+LIAM: I did well. Concentration is– I’ve never
+done this before.
+
+MATT: It’s a constitution saving throw.
+
+LIAM: That is a 19.
+
+MATT: You manage to maintain your Slow spell on
+him, no issue. The ogre’s turns are done. Nott,
+
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: I yell to Caleb: Modern Literature! Then I
+run towards these two goblins over here.
+
+MATT: Over this side?
+
+SAM: Yep.
+
+MATT: All right. 15, 20.
+
+SAM: I take out my hand crossbow and I point it
+from the goblins to Caleb, and I fire.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’m aiming for the book strapped under his
+armpit that only I know is under his clothes, and
+
+I rolled a natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: Oh!
+
+MARISHA: That’s good, right?
+
+MATT: It is. Essentially, because you’re aiming
+for such a small piece there, I was going to add
+
+five to the armor class, but a natural 20 hits. As
+he’s pulled back and clutching himself, you hit
+
+the book that’s harnessed under his arm. You feel
+the impact– nope!
+
+LIAM: Oh, Gottsverdammt!
+
+SAM: He’s going to play dead.
+
+MATT: You fall prone on the ground. I will ask you
+to make another concentration check because you
+
+are averting your gaze and attention from the
+creature you are focusing on.
+
+LIAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? You’re fine. Ten is the DC you had to
+hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck. He’s like this.
+
+MATT: Yeah, just out of the corner of his eye.
+
+TRAVIS: Mom coming into the room.
+
+LIAM: I’m looking through my eyelashes.
+
+MATT: I do need you to make a deception check, but
+with advantage, because you managed to pull this
+
+off pretty well so far. This is just to convince
+others.
+
+LIAM: Where’s my Percy die?
+
+ASHLEY: What do you guys call this one? What do
+you call this con?
+
+SAM: Modern Literature.
+
+LIAM: Deception, you say? It is an 18.
+
+MATT: 18? As far as they’re concerned, Caleb is
+dead.
+
+MARISHA: Whoa, that was sexy! You guys, we need
+formations! We need code words!
+
+SAM: That was my bonus action. For my action, I
+will tell the two goblins–
+
+MATT: Well, in order to do the bonus action
+strike, you have to have attacked with your
+
+action. It’s either two attacks or something
+else.
+
+SAM: Now I have a bonus action?
+
+MATT: You have a bonus action, yes.
+
+SAM: Can I use it to talk?
+
+MATT: I’ll say sure.
+
+SAM: Okay, so in Goblin, I’m going to say to them:
+I’ll hold them off! You get the loot with the
+
+horses!
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+SAM: It’s in Goblin.
+
+MATT: Yeah, I know.
+
+SAM: 13?
+
+MATT: 13, okay.
+
+SAM: Wait, this is persuasion or deception?
+
+MATT: This would be deception.
+
+SAM: 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. They look at you, confused. One of
+them looks over towards the horses. The other one
+
+seems to be holding his ground, but it looks like
+one of them is in the moment of looking off to
+
+something else. That ends your turn. Jester and
+Yasha, you guys are up.
+
+LAURA: (screaming) Caleb!
+
+MATT: Yeah. As far as you guys know, Nott just
+turned on you with the rest of the goblins and
+
+shot down Caleb.
+
+LAURA: If I fucking waste one of my fucking
+spells… Caleb! I rush over and I cast Cure
+
+Wounds at 2nd-level to heal Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay, there you go. You move over, stepping
+over the campfire.
+
+SAM: No! Don’t save him!
+
+MARISHA: Laura, committing to RP! Yes!
+
+TRAVIS: No meta in this family, y'all. No meta in
+this family. Not in this house!
+
+SAM: You’re blowing it!
+
+TRAVIS: We won’t have it!
+
+SAM: I should have told everyone the names of all
+the set plays!
+
+LAURA: That would be 2d8 plus four. Oh, that’s 12
+plus eight, so 20 points of healing.
+
+MATT: You heal 20 hit points, Caleb. Do you
+continue to play dead?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: Okay. The spell doesn’t have an effect on
+Caleb.
+
+LAURA: (crying) It’s not working! I don’t know
+what’s going on! I’m going to use my bonus
+
+action–
+
+LIAM: But really, I’m up to full!
+
+ASHLEY: You’re at full?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, because I have no hit points.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my bonus action to cast
+Sacred Flame at the ogre that is attacking us.
+
+MATT: Sacred Flame is an action though, isn’t it?
+
+LAURA: Oh, it is. I’m sorry, I was thinking,
+because it’s a cantrip– you’re right.
+
+MATT: That’s okay.
+
+LAURA: Bonus action. There’s not really anything I
+can do, is there?
+
+MATT: You can move. You still have like 20 feet of
+movement.
+
+LAURA: (tearily) I’m going to try to drag Caleb
+away from the fire, behind Yasha.
+
+MATT: At half movement, you grab and start
+dragging Caleb face down through the dirt to about
+
+there is as far as you can get him through rocks
+and sticks. Twigs and shit are getting caught in
+
+your hair.
+
+LIAM: She’s re-dirtying me for me!
+
+MATT: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: (through clenched teeth) Stop it, stop!
+
+TRAVIS: (similarly) For fuck’s sake!
+
+SAM: (pigeon cooing)
+
+TRAVIS: (high pitched) He’s alive!
+
+MATT: That finishes Jester’s turn. Yasha, what are
+you doing?
+
+LIAM: This is what Dungeons & Dragons is all
+about.
+
+TRAVIS: Give me that pigeon any day, man. (coos)
+He’s alive!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I’m going to walk up to this guy.
+I’ll look back at Jester: I’ll save us, it’s okay.
+
+MATT: To this guy?
+
+ASHLEY: No, the other one, up here. Yeah.
+
+MATT: You step forward past there, and you get
+right up into the grill of the slowed ogre.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to get really mad, and I’m going
+to use Necrotic Shroud.
+
+SAM and TRAVIS: What is that?
+
+MATT: As you guys watch here, the campfire
+suddenly dims. The flames flicker and cool to this
+
+low, orange glow from the vibrant yellow flame it
+was before as Yasha steps past the flame. Behind
+
+the shawl, two large, skeletal, black wings emerge
+from the back of her shoulder blades.
+
+SAM: Like real, or like see-through?
+
+ASHLEY: Can they see it? Because it’s only if
+you’re within ten feet of the person.
+
+MATT: It has that effect, but it’s still visible,
+I’m pretty sure.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, I think you’re right. The
+effect is only–
+
+MATT: The effect is only within ten feet.
+
+SAM: Are they real, or are they see-through?
+
+MATT: You look at a somewhat translucent, skeletal
+wing structure with membranous, undead-looking wings.
+
+TRAVIS: What the shit?
+
+MATT: As that happens, this dark energy emanates
+from her body, and for a second, the white tips of
+
+her hair go completely black. As she steps
+forward, striding, with her blade in her hands–
+
+TRAVIS: (electric guitar riff)
+
+MATT: Currently, Nott, you’re the only one who can
+see this, but her eyes go jet black. Entirely full
+
+darkness, a void of light where her eyes once were
+as this happens and she strides forward. Charisma
+
+saving throw on his point, there.
+
+TRAVIS: On all of our points.
+
+MATT: Well, you’re more than ten feet.
+Unfortunately, he does succeed. However, you do
+
+manage to maintain the rest of your ability.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so now I have an attack, because of
+Extra Attack?
+
+MATT: Yep, you have two attacks. Oh, no, this is
+an action to do that, so no, you cannot attack
+
+this round.
+
+ASHLEY: Even the extra action?
+
+MATT: No, because you get two attacks for the
+attack action. But that’s your action.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I’d like to rage.
+
+MATT: Yes, you may. As you step up to this ogre,
+your wings unfurled, you give out this heavy Yasha
+
+roar that echoes in the space around you as your
+wings flex out even further. This dark energy
+
+pulling in, and the ogre’s like (confused
+grunts)– looking taken aback by this unexpected
+
+display of power.
+
+TRAVIS: We might need a mini for that, because
+that sounds awesome. Holy shit.
+
+MATT: Going to have to look into that. Is that
+your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, because I’m not going to move.
+
+MATT: All right, it is the wolves’ turn.
+
+SAM: Wolves? Where are the wolves?
+
+TRAVIS: There’s two wolves, right?
+
+MATT: There are three wolves. These wolves here,
+watching you drag Caleb backward, all rush in to
+
+charge against you.
+
+LAURA: Great.
+
+MARISHA: Do I get a hit?
+
+MATT: No, because they moved outside of your range
+there.
+
+MARISHA: He ran by me!
+
+MATT: This one does.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You get one attack of opportunity against
+that guy. Go ahead and roll for it. If you hit him
+
+he gets– That’s cocked.
+
+MARISHA: (disappointed) Okay. 12?
+
+MATT: 12 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: As part of the Sentinel feat–
+
+MATT: He doesn’t get to move.
+
+MARISHA: Hey-oh, 12 damage!
+
+MATT: 12 damage?
+
+MARISHA: Yes, I rolled an eight.
+
+MATT: As the wolf rushes from you, you crack down
+with the staff. It yelps. It’s still standing, but
+
+it’s hurt really bad. It’s limping and turns
+around towards you with this heavy growl, this
+
+angry glare at you. It’s going to attempt to
+attack you with disadvantage, because you’re still
+
+in your– 18 and a 17 plus four, that’s going to
+be–
+
+MARISHA: 18 and a 17? It hits.
+
+MATT: I’m rolling really good, yeah. I know! It’s
+almost like I have a dice that lets me do that.
+
+TRAVIS: You son of a bitch!
+
+TALIESIN: I know.
+
+MATT: And double fours on the d4s. That will be
+ten points of piercing damage, and I need you to
+
+make a strength saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, one, two, three– Oh god, hang
+on. You know what, I’ll come back to that. A
+
+strength saving throw.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! Thank you, Gil. 19.
+
+MATT: 19, okay. It does not knock you prone. As it
+strikes you, it attempts to push you off your
+
+feet, and you resist it using your hand against
+the tree to push yourself back up and get back
+
+into position.
+
+MARISHA: Bad dog!
+
+MATT: The two other ones, however, are going to go
+against Jester, and because they have Pack
+
+Tactics, they both have advantage on their strikes
+against you because they’re coming at you from
+
+flanking you as a wolf. First one is going to
+be–
+
+LAURA: Caleb, fucking me again!
+
+MATT: A 20, on the first one. Not a natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Natural 20?
+
+MATT: No. That’s going to be double 19s on that
+one, Jesus Christ! I’m rolling really good
+
+tonight! Both hit you.
+
+TRAVIS: So celebratory.
+
+MATT: I am. I’m excited. The first one is going to
+be eight points of piercing damage, and the other
+
+one is going to be nine points of piercing damage.
+I need you to make two strength saving throws.
+
+SAM: You’re strong.
+
+LAURA: How much? Eight and nine?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: That’s 17. Wait, no, I think– did I? No, I
+did that wrong, didn’t I? Shit balls. Anyway,
+
+strength saving throws?
+
+MATT: Yes, two of them, please.
+
+SAM: You got to close out of that to see the–
+
+LAURA: I got to close out of that. Okay, strength.
+12 and 13.
+
+MATT: You manage to resist being knocked prone, as
+they both begin jumping at you and clawing. One of
+
+them bites towards the back of your armor. You
+throw it to the ground. You almost get knocked
+
+off, but you kept yourself there between the two
+of them, standing, Caleb at your feet.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Hellish Rebuke in
+response to one of the–
+
+MATT: He’s going to attempt to make a dexterity
+saving throw. That’s a natural four, nope. That’s
+
+full damage on this wolf here.
+
+LAURA: That would be 15 points of damage to him.
+
+MATT: 15 points of damage. That wolf suddenly is
+blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in
+
+response to its assault.
+
+LAURA: You stay away, you piece of–! It’s okay.
+
+MATT: As you pull back and look, the wolf is
+frozen solid, and tumbles into a bunch of ice
+
+chunks. Off the battlefield. That ends the wolf’s
+turn. Top of the round: Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to unleash on this ogre in
+front of me.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: I have the ogre and the wolf, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll do my first two attacks on the ogre.
+Natural 18 on the first one, and the second one
+
+sucks at a four, with a ten total?
+
+MATT: That misses. The first one hits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Goddamn it, six damage.
+
+MATT: Six points of damage.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll go ahead and do a Flurry of Blows
+for my bonus.
+
+MATT: So you have two more strikes. Against the
+ogre as well?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s unleash into the ogre. Okay,
+19?
+
+MATT: 19 hits.
+
+MARISHA: And 14?
+
+MATT: 14 also hits. Roll damage on both of those.
+d4s on those.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, ten damage on the first, eight on
+the second.
+
+MATT: Nice, 18 points of damage on it. That
+finishes Beau’s turn. It is now the goblins’ go.
+
+LIAM: What happened to me? I haven’t gone in a
+while.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you’re next.
+
+MATT: You come after the goblins, don’t worry.
+You’re coming. This one here, who’s up against
+
+you, Molly, is going to throw the shortbow over
+its shoulder, pull out its scimitar, and lash out
+
+towards you. That’s going to be a 15 to hit?
+
+TALIESIN: AC is 15.
+
+MATT: That hits, then. You suffer five points of
+slashing damage. It strikes across you, backs up,
+
+pulls its shield up, and is getting ready to
+defend itself from whatever assault you bring back
+
+at it. It’s going to stay right there, because
+it’s liking the tree cover to its side, but
+
+keeping an eye over its shoulder to Fjord, who
+tried to fire at it previously. These two goblins
+
+are going to step out and they’re going to both
+fire at Fjord, who is advancing towards them. That
+
+is going to be a 20 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: And a ten to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Does not hit.
+
+MATT One arrow, the other manages to catch you in
+the side of the neck and stick in, before it falls
+
+out of the wound. Not deep enough to stick you too
+hard, but you do suffer eight points of piercing
+
+damage. That’s max damage, and I need you to make
+a constitution saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: 24.
+
+MATT: You resist the poison, no issue. This one is
+going to use the rest of its movement to dart
+
+behind there. This one’s going to move behind
+there. These two here that are along with Nott are
+
+going to ignore Nott. This one is going to start
+moving this way towards where the cart ran off,
+
+and it’s off the grid there. This one is going to
+saunter up right next to Nott and make a shot at
+
+Yasha. That’s a natural 17, so it’s going to be 21
+to hit. You are raging, though, so you take half
+
+damage. Which is good, that’d be seven points of
+piercing damage reduced to three, so you take
+
+three points of piercing damage. You do have to
+make a constitution saving throw. All of the
+
+arrows they have are dipped in some sort of a
+toxin or venom.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the effect of the toxin or venom
+again?
+
+MATT: It poisons. They get the poisoned
+condition.
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a natural one.
+
+MATT: With that, even in your form, the poison
+begins to take hold, and where the wound catches
+
+you off the side of the throat and the back of the
+head, the veins begin to pulse black as the poison
+
+begins to take hold. You are poisoned.
+
+LAURA: You’re still really cool looking, though!
+
+MATT: You don’t take any additional damage, but
+currently all of your attacks are at
+
+disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: It goes really well with the wings.
+
+MATT: It does, actually.
+
+LAURA: That’s what poison does? You get
+disadvantage on all your attacks if you’re
+
+poisoned?
+
+MATT: Poisoned: Disadvantage on attack rolls and
+ability checks.
+
+LAURA: That sucks.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty rough. That ends that guy’s
+turn. There’s one goblin back here. Seeing that
+
+Molly is currently engaged, it’s going to rush up
+behind and attempt to flank the back of him. It’s
+
+going to make a strike with its scimitar, with
+advantage because it’s flanking you. That’s
+
+cocked. Even its highest roll there is a seven
+plus four, that’s 11. It goes to strike and you
+
+see it coming, hearing the little footsteps behind
+you, you duck out of the way as it strikes,
+
+hitting air, and now you’re holding them off on
+both sides. I think that’s all of them that have
+
+gone, so that is going to lead us to Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I’m poisoned, so any attack rolls are at
+disadvantage, correct?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to struggle to my feet, and I’m
+going to cast Sleep over and away in that
+
+direction, so it falls way back behind the ogre
+and these two wolves. The goal is to get the ogre
+
+and two wolves just on the edges of it, so it
+doesn’t hit any of my friends. I’m aiming far
+
+behind them to get them on the perimeter.
+
+MATT: To get these two here?
+
+LIAM: The wolves are the primary goal, stopping
+short of Jester. They are the wall, the outer edge.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll the points for sleep. It’s
+not concentration, so you get to maintain Slow.
+
+TRAVIS: What does a 20-foot sphere look like on the
+map? Four squares?
+
+MATT: 20-foot radius?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, 20-foot sphere. Jesus.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fucking big.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, did you get the little goblin back
+there?
+
+MATT: The 20-foot radius sphere?
+
+TRAVIS: It just says 20-foot sphere.
+
+LIAM: Bad roll, 13 hit points total.
+
+MATT: 13 hit points total? This one falls
+unconscious, that one stays up.
+
+TRAVIS: Area’s 20 feet, so it should be–
+
+MATT: Ten foot radius, then. That would be there.
+Half the size.
+
+LIAM: I got to standing, which would take half my
+movement, so I’m going to use my last 15 feet to
+
+get exactly opposite to the other side of the wall
+by sliding around it. And killing Jester.
+
+LAURA: You’re alive! How did–
+
+LIAM: Haha, funny joke.
+
+MATT: Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use my 30 feet to run towards this
+goblin.
+
+MATT: Five, ten, 15, 20.
+
+TRAVIS: Great, and I will use Booming Blade to
+make a melee attack against him.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it.
+
+SAM: (Texas drawl) Booming Blade.
+
+MATT: As you draw your falchion out of the side,
+you focus on it, and as you do so, this spark of
+
+electrical thunder energy engulfs the edge of it
+as you strike downward.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 18 plus seven, 23.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a d8 plus the thunder damage. This is
+the first time I’ve used it, I’m real excited.
+
+(counting)
+
+MATT: An additional 1d8.
+
+TRAVIS: Eight, so 18 points.
+
+MATT: 18 point of damage. With that, as you cut
+down into the goblin, the blade sinks in partway
+
+through the torso, and then the burst causes it to
+tear apart in two different directions, exploding,
+
+spattering across the tree and the side of the
+ogre that’s ten feet in front of you. Doesn’t seem
+
+to notice.
+
+TRAVIS: With Booming Blade, is that just one of
+my two attacks per action?
+
+MATT: No, it’s an action to use the cantrip, then
+you get an attack as part of it, so you have to
+
+decide between doing two attacks with your
+invocation that you took, or–
+
+TRAVIS: Lesson learned, and I’ll use the rest of
+my action to get up on the back.
+
+MATT: Your movement?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m sorry, the rest of my movement.
+So that’s 20, 25, 30.
+
+MATT: You’re not quite flanking, you have to get
+one more square to be flanking with Yasha, but
+
+Yasha can possibly move and make that flanking on
+your turn, if you’d like.
+
+That ends Fjord’s turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Yeah, Mollymauk!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get the one in front of me.
+First attack, that’s all right. That’s 19 to hit.
+
+MATT: 19 hits, that works.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. As you carve
+through, it cuts a giant gash down the front of
+
+its body to part of its thigh. It’s wounded, very
+badly, but still standing.
+
+SAM: What did you attack?
+
+MATT: Carved that goblin right there.
+
+TALIESIN: One more. 19 to hit.
+
+MATT: That’ll hit.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: What you do is, you strike once and it
+sticks into his body, then as he’s still living,
+
+you double down push, and force it the rest of the
+way down, carving it in half, and it splits in
+
+half and is destroyed.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to turn around to the one
+that’s behind me. I’m going to take a third hit.
+
+MATT: Striking down overhand towards it behind
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+MATT: Total of 12?
+
+TALIESIN: Total of 12.
+
+MATT: Does not hit. He’s ready for you, and the
+shield catches your blade. It sticks into it for a
+
+second, and shoves it off with you.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s everything. Well, I could move,
+but no. I’m going to stay locked with
+
+this one then. No, I’m done.
+
+MATT: I forgot to attack with that other ogre last
+turn, but that’s okay. He was slowed, it’s fine.
+
+Now the ogres go. This one is going to continue to
+pummel you, as now you’ve pummeled it, so it gets
+
+two strikes against you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use– disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re welcome.
+
+MATT: That’s going to put him at a nine, so the
+first strike misses. Are you going full amplified?
+
+The second strike also has disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: What is that called?
+
+SAM: Full amplify.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 15.
+
+MARISHA: Whoa, miss.
+
+MATT: Both swings go wide as its eyes suddenly are
+filled with blackened blood, and it can’t see
+
+where you are. It hits the side of the tree and
+the tree actually tumbles over onto the ground there.
+
+MARISHA: Firewood!
+
+MATT: The other ogre who’s now in front of Yasha
+as you approached it, it’s caught off guard.
+
+“Smash scary thing!” It’s going to take two
+strikes towards you.
+
+TALIESIN: Isn’t it still slowed?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It was one action as multiattack.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it’s two. Okay.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 14. What’s your armor
+class?
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, we need to get you some AC.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be a 13. Second one misses,
+but the first one does hit. That is 17 points of
+
+bludgeoning damage, halved to eight. It’s still
+(grunting), it’s like it’s trying to push through
+
+molasses every time it strikes or swings at you.
+It’s going to attempt to shift around, not even
+
+noticing Fjord there at the moment, around this
+way. Fjord, you do get an attack of opportunity
+
+against it.
+
+TRAVIS: I do. Amazing. That is 26 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Is this considered a monstrosity or a
+beast?
+
+MATT: It is not. It is considered technically a
+giant.
+
+TRAVIS: Gotcha. 13 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nice. That finishes your reaction on that.
+Ogre’s turn is done. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ll hold up the hand crossbow, point
+it in Yasha’s general vicinity, and say: I’ll
+
+finish the job, sister! I will fire at the ogre.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Oh no! Only a 13– oh wait, no, it went up.
+14.
+
+MATT: That hits. Ogre is a big target.
+
+SAM: Yeah. I think I get all the sneak attack?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+SAM: Ugh.
+
+LAURA: I saw one that was good and I was like: Oh,
+no.
+
+SAM: 15 plus Fury of the Small. 19.
+
+MATT: Ooh, nice! As it’s looming around, it gets
+struck by Fjord as it’s trying to stomp around
+
+Yasha, trying to pull away from that situation.
+You shoot towards the base of its skull and it
+
+sticks in and the left arm for a second goes numb
+and it has to flex its muscle to snap the bolt in
+
+its neck, leaving part of it still lodged in the
+base of its skull, but at least now it’s got the
+
+use of its other arm back, and goes to clutch onto
+the club, still moving slowly and sluggish with
+
+every movement.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MATT: That’s your action?
+
+SAM: Yes, I’ll say: Shit, I missed! Let me try
+again! I’ll reload and I’ll go pop and shoot the
+
+goblin right next to me.
+
+MATT: Okay!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Oh no, I missed!
+
+MARISHA: That was so badass, though!
+
+MATT: As you do so, it was literally holding the
+shield in front of it, and you just shoot the
+
+shield. (growl)
+
+MARISHA: Oh no!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: You’re just teeth-to-teeth! (growl)
+
+MATT: That finishes your turn, Nott?
+
+SAM: I have movement, but if I move away– no,
+I’ll just stick.
+
+MATT: All right. That finishes your turn. That
+brings us to Jester and Yasha. Jester.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to cast Sacred Flame at the
+wolf in front of me.
+
+MATT: Wisdom save for him. That’s going to be–
+
+LAURA: It’s dex. Sacred Flame.
+
+MATT: Right, dex. It’s a 13.
+
+LAURA: Does not succeed.
+
+MATT: Roll damage.
+
+LAURA: 2d8. Oh, five damage to him. Dang it. Then
+I’m going to cast, for my bonus action, Spiritual
+
+Weapon!
+
+MATT: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: Spiritual Weap!
+
+MATT: Where do you want to place it?
+
+LAURA: Here. Oh, you have one? I want it right in
+front of me because I might as well have it crash
+
+down on the wolf as well!
+
+MATT: There you go. Roll for a strike on that
+wolf.
+
+LAURA: Okay. That is 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits!
+
+LAURA: That is a d8 plus four, that’s nine points
+of damage to the wolf.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage to the wolf. It clubs
+down– (yelp) You watch as one of the shoulders
+
+breaks. It’s barely standing. It’s like
+(groaning).
+
+LAURA: Damn it!
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, because I can’t move; he’ll attack
+me. But he’s going to attack me anyway!
+
+MATT: Up to you. What do you want to do?
+
+LAURA: He could attack Caleb, though. He’ll
+probably attack me. I’m going to stay right
+
+there.
+
+MATT: Okay. Yasha, what are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: It’s time. Okay. I’m going to attack the
+giant, big thing.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage because you are
+poisoned still.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: But she’s raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Do I need to roll for it?
+
+MATT: You’re raging, but you have to roll twice
+and take the lower, unless you do reckless, in
+
+which case it will balance it.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, I’ll do reckless, I’m sorry. I
+didn’t say that before I rolled, so I’m not going
+
+to do it. Okay. I roll it again.
+
+MATT: What was that first one? The first attack?
+
+ASHLEY: It was 16. The first one.
+
+MATT: 16 hits. Second one is?
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+MATT: 13 still hits. It’s a big target. Its AC is
+lower because of the Slow spell. He’s like
+
+super-easy to hit. His armor class is effectively
+nine right now.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit.
+
+ASHLEY: Divine Fury.
+
+SAM: By the way, Matt, last round I should have
+done 20 points of damage, not 19 because I’m level
+
+five now.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+ASHLEY: 23 for the first hit.
+
+MATT: 23 for the first hit? How do you want to do
+this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’d like to take out my blade, and
+I’m going to put it up to his chest, and I’m going
+
+to grab him on the shoulder and I’m going to yank
+him down the blade.
+
+(appreciative groaning)
+
+MATT: As you pull him over the blade, it pushes up
+into the clavicle and up into the throat. It
+
+emerges, actually knocking your bolt out of the
+body because the blade managed to shove it outside
+
+of it, and as it slowly gurgles to the ground and
+collapses, the Hex is gone, the Slow is gone, and
+
+the ogre is gone.
+
+TRAVIS: That regains nine hit points for me
+because of Hexblade’s Curse. Thank you!
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that’s cool.
+
+SAM: Matt’s falling apart.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: I know. I hit my sleeve. It’s all good. I
+got it!
+
+SAM: How will the writers communicate with him?
+
+MARISHA: Your identity!
+
+LAURA: It happens. Oh, it’s magnets?
+
+MATT: Yeah, magnets.
+
+SAM: Without those, we’ll see his feminine wrists.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: What’s wrong with that? You have another
+attack, if you want to move and attack something else.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I will move. Can I make it to
+this?
+
+MATT: Oh, easily. You saunter up aside from Beau.
+Beau, as you’re pummeling, you look over your
+
+shoulder and have Yasha arrive, eyes black, giant
+skeletal wings.
+
+MARISHA: Dude, you look dope. I just want to
+say.
+
+TRAVIS: She just snaps to you.
+
+MARISHA: You’re fucking hot! Let’s go!
+
+MATT: Fear effect only happens when you initiate
+it. It’s not–
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, great. Okay, I will attack him now.
+
+TALIESIN: Welcome to the world of tanking.
+
+ASHLEY: One less d6 because it’s not the first
+attack, right? So 2d6.
+
+MATT: Correct, 2d6. Plus five. You do get to deal
+extra necrotic damage to it, equal to your level.
+
+Because of your transformation.
+
+ASHLEY: Because of the transformation.
+
+MATT: An additional five damage to this.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Oh, on top of the extra five? It’s
+plus ten? Okay.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+ASHLEY: 21.
+
+MARISHA: She’s going to fucking kill this
+motherfucker.
+
+MATT: 21 points of damage.
+
+SAM: 21 points against who?
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: The other ogre.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit!
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha came to game, dawg!
+
+ASHLEY: (growls)
+
+MATT: That finishes your turn.
+
+MARISHA: I thought she was going to take him out,
+too.
+
+MATT: They’ve been beaten around quite heavily at
+this point, and it looks like some of them may
+
+have been previously wounded from something else.
+You have carved a giant chunk out of its torso.
+
+That finishes your turn. The wolves go. One of
+them is still asleep. The other one that’s
+
+currently being harried by three of you is going
+to attempt to strike– ah, damn it. There we go.
+
+Lollipop. It’s going to attempt to strike at you.
+Nope, that’s a 14.
+
+LAURA: Ha!
+
+MATT: At this point, that finishes the wolf’s
+turn. The other one is sleeping, unconscious. Top
+
+of the round, Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going towards this fucking
+ogre. I’m going to do a pole vault situation. Lift
+
+myself up, and then come down with a big ol’ slap.
+First strike. Okay! 20 total for the first one.
+
+Okay, that’s not good, five damage.
+
+MATT: Five damage.
+
+MARISHA: Second one, I’m on his shoulders and I’m
+coming down, that’s another 20 total.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: Fucking– okay, nine damage.
+
+MATT: (whacking) (snarl) You actually jam it in
+part of the giant wound. Part of its muscle is
+
+flopping over from where Yasha had struck him.
+
+LAURA: Hit under his arm! Hit his ribs like you
+did with me! Hit his ribs!
+
+MARISHA: Hit his ribs? Okay! Hearing Jester, I’m
+going to do Flurry of Blows, which I wasn’t going
+
+to do, but hearing Jester, I’m going to because I
+felt so fucking inspired. I’m going to, leaning
+
+off of the ogre, do like a (pop pop pop pop) into
+his ribs.
+
+MATT: All right. Two strikes.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: You almost shattered that screen!
+
+MARISHA: Yes, I did. First one is 19, second one
+is 13.
+
+MATT: Hits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! Fucking want to (mumbling). Die!
+Okay, first one is a seven, second one is a six.
+
+MATT: All right. Seven and six. Nice.
+
+MARISHA: (yelling) Ah, damn it!
+
+MATT: You’re pummeling its torso, and its belly is
+(jiggling).
+
+MARISHA: As I’m punching, I’m going: Die! Die!
+
+MATT: That ends Beau’s go. It’s now the goblins’
+turn. Yeah. They’re going to flee. This one’s just
+
+running.
+
+SAM: Do I get a–?
+
+MATT: You don’t have a melee weapon ready. Because
+you have your crossbow out.
+
+SAM: Oh. Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that you next to him?
+
+SAM: I mean, I can’t use my crossbow as a melee–
+no.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.
+
+SAM: Can I do a hand punch?
+
+MATT: Sure, I’ll let you do that.
+
+LAURA: Hey!
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: Strength bonus, not dexterity.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: Okay, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Strength bonus.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, 17.
+
+SAM: Oh, 17.
+
+MATT: One damage plus your strength modifier.
+
+SAM: My unarmed strike says plus three to hit for
+some reason. I have no idea why.
+
+MATT: What’s your strength modifier?
+
+SAM: Zero.
+
+MATT: You do one point of damage to it as you
+slug it in the back of the head, it runs off the
+
+board in this direction. This one is going to run
+this way.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a–
+
+MATT: Yes, you do. Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 19.
+
+MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s five points of damage.
+
+MATT: Five points of damage. You strike past it.
+It keeps running, charges this direction. The ogre
+
+right now, being surrounded and watching the rest
+of its fellows run away, is backing up and
+
+looking, “Where Emmett?!” Oh yeah, thank you. He’s
+blocked from my position. He is going to, seeing
+
+everything else fleeing, scatter as well. Just
+runs off the map. That finishes their go. Caleb,
+
+you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay, I’m going to start muttering
+under my breath and stretch out two hands and send
+
+two Magic Missiles: one at the one that ran that
+way, and two at this one, and two at the one that
+
+ran that way.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re casting it at level two?
+
+LIAM: I’m casting it at level two.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so it’s two missiles each. Go ahead
+and roll damage. 1d4 plus one per missile.
+
+LIAM: Okay, so the one that was near Nott is three
+and seven for that one.
+
+MATT: He gets hit by both, continues to run. He’s
+wounded, but still alive.
+
+LIAM: Verdammt. Two, three and seven for that
+one as well.
+
+MATT: Seven for this one? The one that’s running
+past Molly, both missiles hit it from two
+
+different sides, and his head pops open from both
+sides of the force damage hitting it. Its body
+
+runs for like three more steps before it (boom)
+onto the ground on its own.
+
+LIAM: I will just stay put.
+
+MATT: Okay, finishing Caleb’s go. Fjord, you’re
+up. Molly, you’re on deck.
+
+TRAVIS: Amazing. I’m going to use my bonus action
+to cast Hex on that tall–
+
+LAURA: (Texan accent) Drink of water?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. On that waterfall of ugliness.
+
+MATT: Okay. You have your sword in your hand, and
+the shield.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. I’ll drop the sword.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you drop the sword. Cast Hex to
+strike this fellow.
+
+TRAVIS: I will send two bursts of Eldritch Blast
+in its direction.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 13.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TRAVIS: And a 16.
+
+MATT: Hits. Roll damage for each.
+
+SAM: He’s going down.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s eight and six and 1d6. 12.
+
+MATT: Do that twice because you hit it twice.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll see them whaling on that big fucker
+and I release the falchion and send two across the
+
+way at him.
+
+MATT: Okay. Beau’s been pummeling it, Yasha carved
+into it, it’s looking like it’s ready to flee. As
+
+it turns around this way, it sees this flash of
+greenish light out of the corner of its eye, looks
+
+back. They both impact right in the chest, outside
+of its shoulder blades in the back, two blasts of
+
+crimson, leaving these two smoking holes in its
+chest that you can partially see through, and it
+
+falls back, knocking this tree over in the
+process. The rest, the surviving goblins have
+
+seemingly scattered, leaving you in the
+battlefield with one wolf that is unconscious.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Take it as a pet!
+
+MATT: That finishes Fjord’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed.
+
+MATT: Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run towards the horses,
+where they came off to the left, and as I pass
+
+that wolf, I’m going to take a couple swipes at
+it.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s an 18 and a 17 roll.
+
+MATT: Yeah, roll some damage.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s just see what that does, before I
+see if I even take a third shot. That’s (counting)
+
+18 points of damage.
+
+MATT: The wolf is misted.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to keep heading towards the
+cart to see if that goblin is still there.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, Molly!
+
+MATT: You get right up next to Beau and that’s the
+extent of it there. That ends your turn, Molly?
+
+Ogres are done. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Oh. I’m going to turn and chase the goblin
+that ran away from me.
+
+MATT: You start giving chase?
+
+SAM: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: You run; you see him. You get up to this
+point and you can see where he is.
+
+SAM: How far away is he?
+
+LIAM: It would’ve been about 60 feet away from you
+if he used his action to dash.
+
+MATT: He’s 60 feet away from you. He’s right where
+he is, essentially, and you got that far. He’s 30
+
+feet from you.
+
+SAM: Okay. Well, with 30 feet, I will take a
+shot.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: That’s a 20-something
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+SAM: Okay. Just one, right?
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm.
+
+SAM: Seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage to him. All right, he
+has seven from him.
+
+SAM: He had seven from the magic missile.
+
+MATT: Yeah, magic missile. Yeah, that’s enough.
+
+SAM: Plus a one point punch.
+
+MATT: You release the crossbow. It falls to the
+ground, breathing hard and tries to stand up,
+
+falls down to its knee again, and then collapses
+on the ground, no longer moving.
+
+SAM: Cool. I can’t see the other one that went
+towards the horses, right?
+
+MATT: Nope, not at the moment.
+
+SAM: All right, I’m going to use my bonus action
+to dash closer to the body to see if I can
+
+recognize this goblin.
+
+MATT: Okay. You move up to it. We’ll get to that
+next round. For the narrative purposes of this,
+
+nothing is currently engaging you in combat. The
+wolf that is on death’s door is currently
+
+unconscious and bleeding out from the spell that
+you gave it.
+
+LIAM: I would have said if we’d gotten around to it
+that if I could go another 30 feet in this
+
+direction, if I could still see the last goblin
+that went this way, I would fire off more magic
+
+missiles to finish it. But that’s only if I can
+see it.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage,
+because it is dark and at night.
+
+LIAM: Terrible. Six.
+
+MATT: Nah, he’s gone. It darted off. One survivor
+made it.
+
+For the purposes of ease here, you’ve
+managed to finish off the wolf that’s currently
+
+unconscious really quickly. Molly, you’re
+standing next to it and it’s on the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, yeah, and I’m heading my way
+because I saw that one run off to the–
+
+MATT: You had the bonus action, because you didn’t
+use it. You’re going to run up and put it out of
+
+its misery. You guys gather at this point, and
+with your wounds, the poison still (throbbing) in
+
+your veins for both you and Caleb. Around the
+corner, you see there’s the horse cart, about 30
+
+to 40 feet from where you are, and there’s one
+goblin grabbing a bunch of sacks. He’s like,
+
+(excited panting). He turns around and sees all of
+you standing there in the clearing, and goes–
+
+TRAVIS: Drop it.
+
+MATT: He goes into a full sprint in the opposite
+direction.
+
+LIAM: Magic Missile.
+
+MATT: Roll damage. Level one?
+
+LIAM: No. Let’s do level three.
+
+TALIESIN: With a Vicious Mockery, too.
+
+MATT: That is a 12, so I think it succeeds. It’s
+unfortunate.
+
+TALIESIN: Might as well.
+
+LIAM: That’s 20.
+
+MATT: 20. You watch him run. These what would be
+five missiles, anime Gundam-style. The goblin
+
+(panting) (poofing) It’s harried repeatedly with
+these missiles impacting him. It’s pretty rough.
+
+With that, silence falls upon the field. Your cart
+regained and the goblin running off spooks the
+
+horses a bit and they pull the cart another ten
+feet or so, but they eventually slow down.
+
+TALIESIN: Go scrape that up off the ground.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Who wants to go with me to go get our
+stuff?
+
+TALIESIN: I was already on my way there.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Is it gone?
+
+MATT: At this point, the wings fold and vanish.
+Her eyes come back to normal color. The white tips
+
+of her hair return.
+
+TRAVIS: You feeling okay?
+
+ASHLEY: I feel fine. Molly has seen this before.
+If you sometimes startle me out of my sleep, it
+
+happens. Sorry. I got startled and I got mad
+immediately because I saw him.
+
+TRAVIS: You had–
+
+LAURA: Are you an angel?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t–
+
+TRAVIS: You had wings.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I guess. It just happens. I don’t
+know.
+
+SAM: Some people have sleep apnea.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Is that a Xhorhasian thing?
+
+ASHLEY: Not that I know of. I was the only one who
+had this thing. I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: At home, you mean? You were the only one of
+your family that had it?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you fly?
+
+LAURA: (gasp)
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+LAURA: Have you tried?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Only when you’re really angry?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, sometimes I get really angry, you
+know? Don’t you wake up and get off on the wrong
+
+side of the cot, and someone startles you awake? I
+don’t know.
+
+LIAM: Caleb, in Celestial, says: No, but really,
+are you an angel?
+
+ASHLEY: I reply back in Celestial.
+
+SAM: Oh shit!
+
+ASHLEY: I say: Well, of sorts, I guess.
+
+LAURA: What did you say?
+
+MARISHA: They’re speaking a language.
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t know you spoke this language.
+
+LIAM: It’s a secret nerdy language you wouldn’t
+understand.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god, what are they talking about?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s really–
+
+MARISHA: Oh, such FOMO.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Continuing in Celestial.
+
+LAURA: Do you want us to leave the table?
+
+LIAM: Just Laura! Well, I figure you’re going to
+have to explain this a bit, either now or later.
+
+Do you want to do it now or later?
+
+MARISHA: I think he’s hitting on her. I can’t
+tell, but–
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I will tell you, but– I will tell
+everyone, it’s fine, but should we clean up or, I
+
+don’t know, something?
+
+TRAVIS: She’s gesturing an awful lot, I don’t
+know.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, maybe she’s angry.
+
+LAURA: Her face looks angry.
+
+LIAM: There’s nothing around, right? Perception
+check?
+
+TRAVIS: Just us!
+
+LAURA: Just all of us staring at you.
+
+LIAM: Just a ten. Besides you.
+
+MATT: You don’t see anything. You seem to be
+relatively alone.
+
+LAURA: I pull down my Spiritual Weapon and start
+licking it.
+
+TALIESIN: It tastes like wolf and ogre.
+
+LAURA: Only the parts that hit the wolf and the
+ogre.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+LIAM: In Celestial: The blue one is getting pouty,
+we better switch back to Common.
+
+MARISHA: He seems passive, I don’t know.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, let’s do it because I’ve– We’ll
+talk about it, I promise, I just, let’s just–
+
+we’ll talk about it, I promise. Okay? Hello.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Hello!
+
+ASHLEY: It’s nice to talk with someone who has,
+you know, language from–
+
+LAURA: Xhorhas?
+
+TRAVIS: What language is that?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t–
+
+LAURA: Xhorhasian, I think?
+
+MATT: It’s less a Xhorhasian language, and more
+one that you’re not quite certain why you
+
+understand it.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, it’s Xhorhasian, so it’s amazing
+that you know.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, you’re very–
+
+LIAM: Well-read.
+
+LAURA: He’s a spy.
+
+TALIESIN: At this point, am I back with all of the
+gold and all of the sacks?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, from–
+
+SAM: Did I look at the goblins?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Over 20. 23.
+
+MATT: You don’t recognize them.
+
+SAM: Do I find anything interesting on the body?
+
+MATT: Short bows, scimitars, grungy, some of them
+coated with excrement and other things to make
+
+them nasty when they carve through and infect
+wounds.
+
+TRAVIS: What about the big old weapons that the
+two bruisers were– are they massive?
+
+MATT: Large greatclubs that are carved.
+
+ASHLEY: Did he say excrement?
+
+MATT: On some of the scimitars. They look nasty.
+
+LAURA: Are they wearing underwear?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LAURA: (horrified yelling)
+
+MATT: But there are a few pouches that haven’t
+been spilled or utilized entirely of toxin.
+
+SAM: Of toxin? Can I grab those?
+
+MATT: With that investigation check, you manage to
+pull five vials of toxin, unused. Each one has a
+
+single use on some sort of a weapon.
+
+TRAVIS: Five vials of toxin.
+
+SAM: I’ve got them.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to draw that in my journal.
+
+SAM: All right, I’m going to rejoin the group.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, not that that wasn’t terribly
+exciting. Still crazy dark out?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s middle of the night, maybe one or
+two in the morning.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks for catching that, you two. If that
+had snuck up on us, we would have been super
+
+fucked.
+
+LAURA: Oh my gods, can you imagine what would have
+happened if they were all over us when we woke up?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we would have been paste. Caleb,
+Nott, thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, did you recognize any of those
+goblins?
+
+SAM: I did not. No, this is not my clan at all.
+Which is not surprising, since we operated not in
+
+this area.
+
+LAURA: Did you hang out with ogres, too?
+
+SAM: No, we did not. I’ve heard of goblins hanging
+out with ogres before, and I don’t think they’re
+
+too dissimilar. But we didn’t.
+
+LAURA: Nott, are you okay?
+
+SAM: I think so.
+
+LAURA: Was it weird to fight other goblins?
+
+SAM: It was very rewarding.
+
+LAURA: Oh. You liked it?
+
+SAM: Yes. I’m only sad that one got away.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, do you share the same hatred in
+yourself?
+
+SAM: What do you mean?
+
+MARISHA: You seem to hate your kind quite a lot. I
+don’t know.
+
+SAM: Do I hate myself? No, I’m cool. I mean, she
+had wings, so you want to talk about that
+
+instead?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we can. Yeah, hey.
+
+TRAVIS: You seem real excited to hurt your own
+kind.
+
+SAM: Well, I know that I’m a goblin. For as long
+as I’ve been alive, I haven’t felt comfortable in
+
+my skin for as long as I can remember. I just feel
+like I shouldn’t be– I don’t fit in with them.
+
+It’s not just that. This feels wrong, like I
+should be in a different body. The way they act,
+
+and the way they are. It’s just not me. They do
+horrible things to people, and they seem fine with
+
+it, but I don’t know. I never felt the same as
+them. It’s not that I don’t like myself or
+
+anything; I think I’m okay. But I just don’t like
+how I feel when I see my hands or my feet. They
+
+just feel wrong. I want to be different.
+
+LIAM: Was there anyone you were close to?
+
+SAM: Not in my clan, no. But there was someone. I
+think I was telling you before that they give you
+
+a job as soon as you’re able to do one. They tried
+me on so many different jobs. But I was not a
+
+soldier, I was not a good cook, I wasn’t good at
+sewing or building. So they stuck me with the
+
+torturer.
+
+LAURA: What?!
+
+SAM: I wasn’t the torturer. I was the torturer’s
+assistant.
+
+LAURA: Oh, you were Nott a torturer.
+
+SAM: No. I saw a lot of things, and there was a
+halfling village not far away. They captured
+
+someone from the village and they wanted me to
+kill him. But instead, I was kind to him, and he
+
+started talking. My fellow gobbies didn’t like
+that, but they allowed it because I was getting
+
+valuable information about where the halflings
+kept their food, and where they went to harvest,
+
+and where we could attack them. But I became
+friends with him. He was nice.
+
+LAURA: What happened to him?
+
+SAM: Well, I hope he got away.
+
+LAURA: Did you leave before he did?
+
+SAM: We left together.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) Really?!
+
+MARISHA: What was his name?
+
+SAM: It’s not important. He was just a nice man.
+
+LAURA: Did you love him?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. He was a chemist, so he taught
+me about alchemy, and liquids, and potions and
+
+things. And he taught me his language. When he had
+taught me everything he could, they said to kill
+
+him. But I didn’t want to, so I got real drunk,
+and I created a distraction, and I hope he got
+
+away.
+
+LAURA: What was the distraction?
+
+SAM: I shot one of my fellow goblins in the butt.
+
+LAURA: That’s good.
+
+SAM: He yelled a lot. Then we ran off in separate
+directions, and I’ve been running ever since.
+
+LAURA: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Where would he go?
+
+SAM: I assume back to his village.
+
+LAURA: But your goblin friends knew where the
+village was.
+
+SAM: Yes, I know, but I don’t know, I can’t go to
+that village. I’ll be stoned to death.
+
+LAURA: Why? But you helped him!
+
+SAM: I’m a goblin.
+
+LIAM: What if we went with you?
+
+SAM: You could maybe go.
+
+LAURA: What if we cast Disguise Person on you, and
+you could find out if he was okay?
+
+SAM: I mean, we’re going the opposite direction.
+
+LAURA: What if after we do this, we go down there
+and see?
+
+SAM: I don’t know if we should go back. There’s
+too many bad people around there. What if I run
+
+into the tribe? What if someone from the village
+sees me? They hate goblins.
+
+LIAM: Did you see what Yasha just did though?
+
+SAM: Yeah, that was freaky deaky.
+
+LAURA: We just killed two ogres and some wolves,
+and a bunch of other goblins. We could probably do
+
+some serious damage to your old, mean tribe.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, there are bad people everywhere.
+
+SAM: I know.
+
+MARISHA: Doesn’t mean you have to associate
+yourself with them.
+
+LAURA: Just because you look like them, doesn’t
+mean that you have to be like them.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you’re one of us now. And aren’t we
+great?
+
+SAM: Yes?
+
+LAURA: There’s that creepy smile again, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying real hard to not make it super
+scary.
+
+LIAM: I think it is a good idea to go there, when
+we are finished.
+
+SAM: I’m okay for now, just getting away from them
+has been wonderful. And I’ve met you, Caleb, and
+
+you don’t seem to care how I look or who I was.
+
+LIAM: I do not care. I know who you are now. If
+you don’t want to go back there, we don’t have to
+
+go back there. But if you actually do, don’t be
+afraid to ask. I will go with you.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think we all will.
+
+MARISHA: I think we’re all a little bit of an
+island of misfits.
+
+TRAVIS: Knowing all that, you showed a lot of
+bravery tonight.
+
+MARISHA: Nott the Brave.
+
+SAM: Well.
+
+LAURA: Maybe there is a comma.
+
+TRAVIS and MARISHA: You earned your comma.
+
+SAM: Let’s just call it a hyphen for now.
+
+TRAVIS: Gradual steps.
+
+SAM: And maybe we’ll move to an ellipsis or
+something.
+
+TRAVIS: Working our way through syntax.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott, I’m very sorry we made fun of you
+eating children.
+
+SAM: That’s okay. I haven’t eaten any children! I
+have no desire to eat children! But I’ve seen
+
+children being eaten, and goblins are awful.
+They’re terrible in every way. If you’re not good,
+
+they cut you, or kill you or throw you away.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, so you ran away?
+
+SAM: As fast as I could.
+
+MARISHA: What got you locked up with this guy?
+
+SAM: Being me. I think I was probably stealing
+some food or something.
+
+LIAM: You told me it was cherry wine.
+
+SAM: All right, it was booze.
+
+MARISHA: Cherry wine’s real good though.
+
+SAM: But you know they’re not wrong, right? The
+people who arrested me are not incorrect. If you
+
+see a goblin, you should kill it on sight.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, no.
+
+LAURA: Maybe not, though.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Maybe some of them are nice like you.
+
+SAM: Absolutely not. None of them are.
+
+ASHLEY: You can’t be the only one.
+
+SAM: I have never met another nice one. Ever. And
+I really tried!
+
+LAURA: In your tribe. Have you gone to other
+tribes?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you were just in a really shitty
+tribe.
+
+SAM: It feels like I was in a very average tribe.
+
+TRAVIS: There could be enlightened tribes out
+there, committed to changing their ways.
+
+SAM: That would be fine for them, but like I said,
+this is not me. I don’t want to be this.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s fine. You’re with us.
+
+SAM: I’m never going to be cool with this. Ever.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve counted. You’ve said “not"like five
+times, in a circumstance that’s not your name.
+
+It’s super inspiring in a weird way. It’s all like
+super relevant. Just throwing it out there.
+
+MATT: There’s a crack of thunder. The rain begins
+to come down as one of the slowly encroaching
+
+storms begins to pour down in the middle of the
+night.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I’m sleeping underneath the cart.
+I’m picking up all the stuff. This has been very
+
+enlightening. There is probably going to be
+lightning. Anyone else who wants to join me?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know if we will all fit.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll snuggle.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m all right in the rain.
+
+ASHLEY: Same.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: I’m okay in the rain.
+
+SAM: Too much water.
+
+LAURA: I am!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to make a little camp
+underneath the cart.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know if I can sleep.
+
+LAURA: I need to sleep. I got injured.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take the next watch.
+
+ASHLEY: I can take the first watch. I’d like to
+stay outside for a little bit.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take the first– oh wait.
+
+ASHLEY: Who had– did you– were you doing it?
+
+MARISHA: Boulders, parchment, shears for first
+watch.
+
+TRAVIS: No, y'all got it. I’m just up anyway.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to sleep.
+
+TALIESIN: Join me under the cart?
+
+LAURA: Oh, all right.
+
+SAM: Are we on? What’s going on?
+
+LIAM: We’re arguing about who’s going to take
+the first watch.
+
+TRAVIS: You can sleep in the rain or under the
+cart.
+
+LIAM: We could finish the watch that we didn’t
+really finish.
+
+SAM: Sure, let’s do that.
+
+LIAM: Why don’t you take the next one?
+
+MATT: Taking the final watch? Roll perception for
+me if you don’t mind.
+
+TALIESIN: A band of–
+
+MATT: Disadvantage for the darkness.
+
+LIAM: Can I say something short to Nott before we
+switch to the last?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Sitting in the rain. You know, I never
+talked about my past for obvious reasons, and I
+
+didn’t want questions pointed back at me. Still no
+pressure on you, but if you ever want to talk more
+
+about it, the door is always open for you, Nott.
+When you are ready.
+
+SAM: Thank you, Caleb.
+
+I tasted a baby once, just once. I didn’t
+know, they were handing around a
+
+bowl. I didn’t know what was in it, and then later
+somebody said there was like– I mean, they put a
+
+bunch of different meat in there. How was I
+supposed to know that it was like a goulashy thing?
+
+LIAM: Who am I to judge?
+
+SAM: Good night.
+
+LIAM: I fall asleep in the mud and rain.
+
+MATT: What did you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t roll yet.
+
+LIAM: More ogres and goblins.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+MATT: As you complete the final watch, the rain
+doesn’t subside. The flashes of lightning and the
+
+rolling of thunder makes it a bit difficult, but
+the exhaustion of the previous battle manages to
+
+combat that enough for those of you who want to
+complete your evening’s rest, you do. Until
+
+eventually the glow of the morning’s light brings
+you all to consciousness once more. The rain
+
+reduces itself to a drizzle. You gather your
+materials, do the best you can to warm up, shaking
+
+yourself in the cold, damp morning. Gather your
+cart, slowly head back towards the roadway, and
+
+continue your journey towards the Labenda Swamp.
+And that’s where we will end tonight’s episode.
+
+LIAM: Five more hours.
+
+MARISHA: Just live here.
+
+MATT: If I didn’t have anything to do tomorrow. If
+I wasn’t flying to Canada tomorrow, I could keep
+
+going.
+
+SAM: Oh no, you have a thing?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Did I miss that in the announcements?
+
+MATT: I think you did.
+
+TRAVIS: You just don’t pay attention.
+
+MATT: He was too busy with his own. Anyway, thank
+you guys. We’ll pick this up next week on Thursday
+
+from there, as we have about a day’s worth of
+travel before you get there. With enough speed,
+
+you will get there before the next dusk.
+
+SAM: Six more battles before we get there.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, totally. Until then, you guys have
+yourself a wonderful week, we love you very much,
+
+and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons! Before we get into it for
+
+tonight’s game, we’re going to go through some
+quick announcements, so be patient with this.
+
+First and foremost, returning for tonight, our
+fantastic sponsor for campaign two thus far: our
+
+friends at D&D Beyond. Sam?
+
+SAM: Yes, D&D Beyond, a consistent and amazing
+sponsor of our show, wants to let you guys know
+
+that Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes is out! Get yours
+right now on the D&D Beyond website. To celebrate,
+
+I called my old friend, Rhody Slater.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+SAM: Ready? (As surfer) Hang ten, kahunas and
+wahines! It’s Rhody Slater! Duck diving the word
+
+from D&D Beyond! Yank that leash and wrap up the
+dawn patrol because if a player in your campaign
+
+has a master level subscription, any player that
+owns Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes can share content
+
+with everyone in your party. Frothy, right? Well,
+kick out your longboard because– Because–
+
+(As Sam) You know what, guys? I can’t do this. It’s
+not D&D Beyond, they’re a great sponsor. It’s me.
+
+You know, I just felt like at this point in my
+career I’d be doing serious shit like Ibsen or
+
+O'Neill, but I’m doing this shitty Keanu Reeves
+voice and writing crappy sitcom catchphrases. No
+
+offense, Ashley. This stuff is going to live on
+the internet forever! My kids are going to watch
+
+this and be like like, “Wow, your dad was a
+loser,” you know?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, that’s what we think all the time.
+
+SAM: I feel like I can do so much more.
+
+(phone rings)
+
+SAM: Oh sorry, I’m getting a phone call. This is
+embarrassing. Hello? Yeah, uh-uh. Really? Yes! I
+
+accept! Okay! Thank you. That was my agent. Guys,
+I booked a two-spot local radio campaign for Lord
+
+of the Wings, that new wing place in Chatsworth!
+Two radio spots! I’m a real actor again! I’m back!
+
+All right! Where was I? (As surfer) So wax down
+that twin fin and pull a thruster on an epic left
+
+because D&D Beyond is righteous! Banzai! (as Sam)
+What a crazy turn of events.
+
+MATT: I’m so happy. I’m so proud of you. You did
+it, Sam.
+
+TRAVIS: Congrats man, congrats buddy. Hashtag
+booked it!
+
+MARISHA: Wow, that was so authentic to the actor
+experience.
+
+LAURA: And really believable.
+
+SAM: Lord of the Wings is not a bad restaurant.
+It’s just average.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a regional spot!
+
+SAM: I might get some residuals.
+
+LIAM: On a side note, Matt, you look so quietly
+pained to hear Mordenkainen bathed in whatever
+
+that was.
+
+MATT: I wasn’t pained, I was more contemplating
+the fact that those two facets have never combined
+
+until this point probably. (surfer voice) Probably
+haven’t heard anyone talk about Otiluke’s
+
+Resilient Sphere. (normal voice) I like the prospect of
+a super Big Sur surf tour of D&D wizard names.
+
+ASHLEY: Lord of the Wings, I would go there. Just
+as a side note. Morden-cayenne wings! Let’s do it.
+
+TRAVIS: Road trip.
+
+MATT: “Would you like your pasta with Saruman the
+White sauce?” Thank you, Sam, and thank you, D&D
+
+Beyond, for being our amazing sponsor. And
+congratulations on your booking. First up, Vox
+
+Machina: Origins the hardcover collection, the
+actual physical tome of our first six-run comic
+
+series will be on sale next week on May 31st!
+
+LIAM: So shiny and beautiful! Oh my gosh, Laura
+wants to hold it.
+
+ASHLEY: I love it!
+
+SAM: Get your fingerprints off it!
+
+LAURA: I just want to look at it, but you said I
+had to show it.
+
+MARISHA: It smells good, too. It smells like new
+comic.
+
+LIAM: Because it is a new comic!
+
+MARISHA: Exactly!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s got some crazy back matter, too.
+
+MATT: It does. Let me see real fast.
+
+LAURA: It’s so pretty!
+
+MATT: It’s got some fun stuff and it’s got some
+extra specials in the back.
+
+LAURA: Wait, we can show it? Are we going to show
+it?
+
+MATT: I’m going to flip it real fast. We’ve got a
+map of Stilben. Ooh! It’s gone now. We’ve got
+
+character traits and actions. We’ve got magical
+items! We’ve got sketches and various art pieces
+
+that show the process of development. There you
+go. It’s got a whole bunch of cool extras in the
+
+back. Anyway, that’s available next week, May
+31st. For all info of the sale of the comic, check
+
+out critrole.com. We have it all up there as of
+right now. Awesome!
+
+LIAM: Critrole!
+
+MATT: It came back, we couldn’t leave it alone.
+Stream of Many Eyes is coming up not this weekend,
+
+but next weekend. Friday through Sunday, June 1st
+through the 3rd with our friends at D&D Wizards of
+
+the Coast. They’re going to be running a long
+series of games as they unveil their next upcoming
+
+D&D storyline and a bunch of us are going to be
+there! You go to dnd.wizards.com/some, Stream of
+
+Many Eyes, for all the info and tickets for the
+event. We’ll be there, we look forward to seeing
+
+you on the internet or otherwise. Reminder, if you
+have an Amazon Prime Account you can combine it to
+
+your Twitch account and have Twitch Prime which
+allows you to subscribe for free to one Twitch
+
+account per month. If you haven’t reupped, you
+should do so. Talks Machina is every Tuesday night
+
+at 7:00PM Pacific, where our fantastic Brian W.
+Foster hosts a little chat about whatever happens
+
+about tonight’s episode, for next week.
+
+SAM: That was the saddest woo-hoo.
+
+MATT: That was– yeah.
+
+LAURA: Did you just steal the comic book?
+
+ASHLEY: Huh?
+
+LIAM: Where did it go?
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, what? What?
+
+TRAVIS: Roll a stealth check.
+
+ASHLEY: This is the way I’m shaped, what’s wrong?
+This is my shape.
+
+TRAVIS: The Cube 2.0!
+
+ASHLEY: This is my body, leave me alone.
+
+LIAM: Oh man, that Ashley, she’s so… boxy.
+
+TRAVIS: Boxy!
+(hums the intro to “Foxy Lady”)
+
+MATT: There you go. We have the Critical Role Live
+dice set in the store, as well as the Vox Machina
+
+d20 set is back in stock for a limited time.
+
+LAURA: Is it still there?
+
+MATT: It’s on the list here.
+
+LAURA: Sweet.
+
+MATT: If it’s not, I’m sorry. I only read what’s
+handed to me. I feel like Ron Burgundy. I will be
+
+at A-Kon in Texas, Dallas/Fort Worth, June 7th to
+the 10th. Looking forward to see you guys there.
+
+Actually probably the 8th to 10th for me because
+we have Thursday night that night, but I’ll see
+
+you there. I believe those are all of our
+announcements for the evening which means, it’s
+
+time to bring us back into Exandria for tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. I forgot one quick thing
+in the announcements, something I need to get you
+
+guys to up to speed on. We’ve partnered with our
+friends at Stack Up, which is a nonprofit
+
+organization dedicated to helping veterans and
+those in active duty. Stack Up will be giving away
+
+specific Critical Role challenge coins as well as
+special prints by our fantastic Critter artist Amy
+
+King. If you want to be part of this fantastic
+endeavor and see how to acquire your special
+
+challenge coin and our print, also go to
+critrole.com for all the information you need. Make
+
+sure I got that in there for you guys, and thank
+you guys at Stack Up for working with us on
+
+this. On that note: last we left off, The Mighty
+Nein, after spending quite some time in the
+
+central city of Zadash had found that war had made
+its way to the Empire with the far eastern region
+
+of Xhorhas and the Kryn dynasty. Upon this
+conflict, you decided that perhaps it would be
+
+best to leave the central urban environment. You
+decided to dodge a few opportunities brought to
+
+you, especially that by the Lawmaster of the city,
+and instead went and made a conversation with your
+
+friend The Gentleman beneath the city in his
+Underworks. There, he offered two possible work
+
+opportunities in which you accepted both. The
+first of which is going to send you towards the
+
+swamp town of Berleben, to the north-northeast.
+Then from there, head far northeast to Shadycreek
+
+Run to converse with and retrieve an ally of his
+he had not been able to do business with in a
+
+while. You gathered your materials, got your wagon
+and horses, made your way northward on the
+
+Bromkiln Byway toward the Labenda Swamp. Along
+that path, you managed to encounter a shack-living
+
+hermited orc of some unknown background. Continuing
+northward, you slept in a cluster of trees where
+
+you were ambushed by a wandering troupe of goblins
+and ogres. Upon escaping their clutches and
+
+defeating most of them– only one, I believe, got
+free– you gathered what information you could.
+
+Managing to keep out of the rain, you slept
+beneath your cart and awaited the next morning. As
+
+we come back in, you all have had your long rest, so if
+you haven’t marked that in your character sheet,
+
+please do so.
+
+SAM: And we leveled up.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, level six!
+
+MATT: No, that didn’t happen. As you come to, the
+cold morning greets you, the low mist and fog seem
+
+to still clutch the outer edges of the forest
+trees beyond your peripheral. You can just see the
+
+dark shapes of the trunks against the obscured
+gray. The mist and dew that is gathered on the
+
+grass and bits of vegetation near the base of the
+floor where you’ve slept has turned to frost with
+
+the cold night. Most of you managed to complete
+your rest uncomfortably, but awake to chattering
+
+teeth and the shaking of your body. Except for
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: I walk around and crunch all of that frost.
+(crunching)
+
+MATT: The morning is yours. What do you wish to
+do?
+
+TRAVIS: What? You never fucking get cold or
+nothing?
+
+LAURA: I don’t think so, no.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s get up and moving.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, please. Anybody got whiskey or
+something? Nott! You got any booze?
+
+SAM: Of course I do.
+
+TRAVIS: Would you mind if I swig?
+
+SAM: Sure, here’s my flask.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks. It’s always full.
+
+LAURA: Is it always full or it is always almost
+empty?
+
+SAM: Well, I can’t see inside it, so I don’t know.
+But I’m sure there’s some sort experiment we
+
+could do to– It’s all right, you can have as much
+as you want. It’s endless.
+
+LAURA: You don’t have to buy alcohol at all
+anymore?
+
+SAM: No. I mean, I rarely did anyway. I stole it,
+but now I don’t have to do that either!
+
+LAURA: That’s wonderful!
+
+SAM: Yeah. I think it’s about two-thirds full most
+of the time.
+
+ASHLEY: May I try it?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s really good, it spreads through your
+chest like a fire.
+
+LAURA: How do you decide which alcohol is in it?
+
+SAM: I decided the first time and that’s what it
+is, always.
+
+LAURA: What if you get sick of it? You can’t empty
+it out.
+
+SAM: Why would I get sick of it? It’s wonderful.
+
+LAURA: What if you want to try a different thing
+like–
+
+TALIESIN: Snozzberry.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Does it only fill up with one kind of
+alcohol?
+
+SAM: Yes, it replenishes with my favorite kind of
+whiskey.
+
+TRAVIS: Which is?
+
+SAM: The kind that gets you good and drunk.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh good. I didn’t know if it had a name.
+
+TALIESIN: I tried the other kind before, and
+really, it’s not much.
+
+ASHLEY: The kind that doesn’t get you drunk is not
+very good.
+
+TRAVIS: Good and drunk.
+
+LIAM: Can you get it empty or close to empty if
+you try?
+
+SAM: I could try.
+
+LIAM: I am not suggesting you try.
+
+SAM: I think it’s a good experiment.
+
+TRAVIS: I think so, too.
+
+ASHLEY: I do, too.
+
+SAM: They already started it.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we shouldn’t do that right before we
+go to the swamp where we’re going to fight people.
+
+SAM: Let’s just see what happens! I’ll drink a
+bunch.
+
+MATT: Okay. You are very drunk.
+
+SAM: Did it get lower?
+
+LIAM: I grab and shake it, with my thumb over the
+spigot.
+
+MATT: It’s still filled with liquid. I mean, you
+drank a lot, and it still feels like half-full.
+
+TRAVIS: Should you puke it up?
+
+SAM: (slurred) I don’t want to waste it.
+
+LAURA: You can’t really waste it.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s bottomless.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve already used it at this point,
+really.
+
+SAM: (slurred) I guess I could. Should I throw up
+now?
+
+LAURA: Maybe you should try.
+
+MARISHA: In the name of science.
+
+SAM: Stick something down my throat.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott, just put your finger down your
+throat.
+
+LAURA: I find a stick. Open up!
+
+SAM: (yelling and gagging) Did it work?
+
+MATT: Eventually, yes.
+
+LAURA: I don’t want to hurt your throat, you
+know.
+
+TRAVIS: Face pointing up, though, so it projectile
+Bouncing Betty vomits everywhere?
+
+MATT: In a very Ren and Stimpy fashion, Jester
+begins jamming this stick into Nott’s gullet,
+
+before the brackish brown whiskey comes back up in
+a mild spray against the nearby, now damp, dirt
+
+and grass.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it steaming in the early morning cold?
+
+MATT: It would be.
+
+LAURA: But do you feel better though?
+
+SAM: No, not really.
+
+LIAM: Probably not, how is your esophagus after
+that?
+
+SAM: A little sticky.
+
+TRAVIS: A little salsa?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: A little burny?
+
+LIAM: How many fingers am I holding up?
+
+SAM: I think four?
+
+LIAM: How many members of The Mighty Nein are
+there?
+
+SAM: Nine.
+
+LIAM: She’s okay.
+
+SAM: But two are always gone.
+
+LIAM: It’s true.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like when I see someone else throw
+up I feel almost like I do (retching). No?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a violent reaction.
+
+LIAM: Jester, help her out there, she’s in need.
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to stick something down your
+throat?
+
+ASHLEY: No, I mean, I don’t know if that will
+help. I think it was just gross to see (retching).
+
+Uh-oh. It’s still happening.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it just seeing someone throw up or is
+it also hearing the sound that makes it worse? If
+
+I just went (retching) does that–
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I think it’s the sound, too.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Looking at our map, how much longer do I
+think we have to go to get to our destination?
+
+MATT: If you move quickly, you can probably get
+there right around sunset.
+
+MARISHA: Is this quickly like “not paying close
+attention” quickly?
+
+MATT: It’s “not carefully and quietly” quickly.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we’re good for that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, we’re fine.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re not concerned at all about that–
+what do you call it when you get ambushed?
+
+MARISHA, LIAM, and TALIESIN: Ambush.
+
+TRAVIS: Last night.
+
+SAM: You’re our strategy guy, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s early in the morning, I’m not awake
+yet.
+
+LAURA: We beat them, though.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve been traveling for years, we’ve
+been ambushed dozens of times.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m just checking. Didn’t know if anybody
+was alarmed.
+
+LAURA: Is it normally ogres that ambush you?
+
+TALIESIN: No, that was new and exciting.
+
+ASHLEY: Especially if we’re staying on the main
+path, you know, we’ll see anything that pops up.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+LIAM: We want to rush? You want to rush? Let’s
+take it slow and we’re going to get to the swamp
+
+just as the sun is going down if we rush, and that
+is full of nasty things, I’m sure.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s actually a very good point.
+
+LIAM: If we go slower–
+
+TALIESIN: We get there in the day.
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Carefully then?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t mind camping out.
+
+LAURA: One more time?
+
+TALIESIN: One more time.
+
+LIAM: You all are an enjoyable lot, it will be
+fun.
+
+LAURA: That was very believable, Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: I think he was being genuine.
+
+TALIESIN: That was very impressive. Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like that was the most emotion–
+
+LAURA: I think I’ve ever seen.
+
+TRAVIS: Is Caleb blushing at all?
+
+MARISHA: A little. His ears are getting a little
+pink.
+
+LIAM: Maybe a little.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, saddle up them dogies.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Does anybody else want to drive the cart
+today, or do you want me to keep driving it?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll drive if you want to switch out
+later on.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. I got it. Nott, I assume you
+want to be in back.
+
+MATT: Molly up front keeping the horses on task,
+you guys pick up the pace and get back out of the
+
+forest main cluster and onto the Bromkiln Byway
+heading north-northeast once more.
+
+LIAM: Carefully.
+
+MATT: Are you moving at the slowest pace?
+
+LAURA: Not the slowest pace.
+
+TRAVIS: Medium. A five.
+
+LAURA: A normal pace.
+
+MATT: (singing) I drive the cart at a medium pace.
+
+LIAM: Not willy-nilly, not galloping pace.
+
+MATT: Pressing forward, what two are maintaining a
+watch as you progress?
+
+LAURA and LIAM: I want to watch.
+
+MATT: One of you is aiding the other. Who is
+helming the roll?
+
+LAURA: I want to stand on the cart and stand up
+for the ride and look around.
+
+MATT: It’s like Muad'Dib riding the sandworm,
+standing up.
+
+LAURA: I’ll put my hands on Molly’s horns and–
+
+TALIESIN: I’m into this.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take the back. Caleb, can I hold
+Frumpkin again?
+
+LAURA: Am I rolling twice?
+
+LIAM: Twice, yes.
+
+ASHLEY: I like him.
+
+TALIESIN: I also do have a large tapestry that’s
+relatively clean if anyone’s feeling cold.
+
+SAM: That’s not good. Could we make that tapestry
+into coats?
+
+LAURA: Nine! Because it’s appropriate.
+
+MATT: For the first half of the day, you continue
+along the path. It gets rough in places, and at
+
+one point one of the wheels slams into a rock. You
+have to double check and make sure it didn’t take
+
+any damage. It seems to be okay.
+
+LIAM: We saw that.
+
+TALIESIN: I can drive.
+
+MATT: For the first half of the day, nothing
+catches your eye in particular. The mist has
+
+burned off at this point, and a bit of sunlight is
+breaking through the clouds. It seems the storm
+
+from the evening before has passed. You can see
+now over the mostly gray cloud cover, there are
+
+breaks in it, from this distance you can see these
+visible beams of sunlight slowly coasting across
+
+the grass fields as you see the heavy, high grass
+pushing and pulling with each burst of breeze that
+
+makes its way across the valley. It’s very
+beautiful here in the center of the Empire. It’s a
+
+very relaxing ride, though you know you’re
+book-ending your travel with tension to stress, so
+
+you’re taking this moment to appreciate what it is
+the Empire protects and what the people within are
+
+fighting for in the coming conflict. Second half
+if the day, same people on watch?
+
+MARISHA and ASHLEY: I’ll take a watch.
+
+LAURA: I’ll sit down, I’ve been standing for such
+a long time.
+
+MATT: It’s true, give those ankles a rest. Who’s
+helming the roll?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll helm.
+
+MATT: You’re aiding Beau. Roll with advantage.
+
+MARISHA and MATT: 18.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, 17.
+
+MATT: 17, all right. Continuing your pace, Beau as
+you’re watching out, from a north-northwestern
+
+direction, you see a dark shape come over one of
+the hilltops, wide and encompassing.
+
+MARISHA: Moving?
+
+MATT: It seems to be. A number of miles out of the
+way, almost on the horizon, you can see this
+
+series of rolling hills in that direction that
+obscure what lies beyond that area. You watch as
+
+one of the hills goes dark on top, like the
+coloration gets covered in shade.
+
+MARISHA: What does the weather look like? Are
+there clouds in the sky?
+
+MATT: There are clouds in the sky, especially at
+this time of year, it’s generally pretty cloudy
+
+here in the Empire. You’ve seen breaks in the
+clouds as you’ve traveled for most of the day, it’s
+
+been warmer than usual, so it’s been a welcome
+change of pace from what you’re used to, but this
+
+is not characteristic of cloud cover, as most
+everything here has some level of shade.
+
+TRAVIS: Still rolling grasslands, or are there
+trees off to the side?
+
+MATT: There are bits of trees and clusters of
+them, nothing that would be considered a major forest.
+
+What you slept in the night before has probably
+been the largest cluster you’ve seen in your
+
+travel today so far. This catches you.
+
+MARISHA: It looks like the landscape is going
+dark? Not something moved in front of it, or like
+
+something is moving?
+
+MATT: Correct. Best you can tell at this distance.
+
+MARISHA: Who’s got good eyes and knows about
+clouds and shit?
+
+NOTT: Caleb knows about clouds.
+
+LIAM: I’ve spent a long time on the road, too.
+
+MARISHA: Does that look natural to you?
+
+MATT: You both look out there and as you travel
+for the next ten minutes or so, you can see faint
+
+glimmers in that moving shadow as a bit of
+sunlight travels over it. It’s at that moment you
+
+realize what this is. It’s a legion. What was a
+dark shadow appears to be hundreds and hundreds of
+
+soldiers, an army regiment that is shifting from
+the northwestern side of the Empire to cross over
+
+the byway, heading east. As you continue your pace
+forward, you get to a point where you may
+
+intersect with their path if you continue, or you
+can slow down or speed up. It’s your choice.
+
+LIAM: There are a lot of soldiers ahead, and I
+don’t think we should have anything to do with them.
+
+LAURA: Plus if we wait, it’ll take a really long
+time for them to cross the road.
+
+LIAM: That’s a very good point.
+
+MARISHA: If we move, though, we have to move fast,
+and maybe a little bit carefully.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go! Go!
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: With that (galloping) the horses begin to
+pick up pace. You all grab the sides of the cart
+
+as it begins to whir and kick its way across the
+street. The horses galloping, framing the two
+
+different sides of the cart as you pick up speed.
+You come up over one of the hills and then down
+
+another embankment. As you curve around the side,
+there’s a part where the grass has overgrown a
+
+large majority of the road here, but you coast
+through the center.
+
+LAURA: We should stand up and ride it like a
+surfboard!
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s not do that.
+
+SAM: Like Teen Wolf?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Make a general animal handling check if you
+don’t mind, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven?
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: That’s terrible.
+
+MATT: As you hit that portion of the road, you’re
+having a hard time steering the horses, you’re not
+
+entirely familiar enough to pull on the rein of
+multiple at a single time to get the shift and
+
+movement. They begin to careen a little bit off of
+the path, almost trying to hide into the grass
+
+embankment which slows your movement down ever so
+slightly, before (impact) one of the wheels
+
+suddenly (impact and scraping). It is now digging
+into the ground.
+
+TALIESIN: I can desperately try and right the
+stuff, I suppose.
+
+LAURA: Did it break the wheel?
+
+MATT: The cart is now sitting at a backward angle
+and it’s slowing down.
+
+LAURA: We could climb to the other side of the
+cart and try to balance it so the wheel comes up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull hard on the reins, see
+if I can get it out of the–
+
+SAM: And continue, or stop?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, are we “stop” stopped?
+
+MATT: It’s grinding to a halt.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, I’m stopping the whole thing
+really quickly.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to hop off the horse and go
+look.
+
+MARISHA: Can I go ahead a little bit and see if I
+find any hidden paths that might cut through this
+
+field, off the main road? Scout ahead a little
+bit.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check. You go
+and check. It looks like some sort of heavy rock
+
+that was hidden and obscured in the grass, just
+off the road, had slammed into both wheels on the
+
+left side. The front one had bent, the wood
+splintered inward and the metallic rim on the
+
+inside had bent inward. The other one had
+completely been pushed inward and knocked at the
+
+angle, it’s pretty wrecked.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, is it fixable?
+
+MATT: Do any of you guys have tools to fix a
+wagon?
+
+LAURA: Would we know?
+
+MATT: What toolkits would you have at your
+disposal?
+
+LIAM: Your background would tell you, if you chose
+a background, what bag of shit you have.
+
+MATT: Your background may have abilities that
+could help you in this scenario as well.
+
+TRAVIS: Vehicles in water.
+
+MATT: Things that are helpful: carpenter’s tools,
+possibly. That’s kind of rough.
+
+MARISHA: I have ball bearings.
+
+LAURA: I have an axe.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m pretty sure I saw carpenter’s tools
+and I was like, who needs that?
+
+MATT: Anybody?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a hammer, I’ve got some rope. I
+don’t know.
+
+MATT: No.
+
+ASHLEY: I have rope. I have lots of rope.
+
+TRAVIS: I think we’re going to need to double up
+on these horses, you guys. Or at least unhitch
+
+them from the wagon.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, and get all of our stuff off of the
+cart. But I have our giant lead safe in here.
+
+SAM: Oh yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: How heavy is it?
+
+LAURA: It’s pretty heavy.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation,
+the regiment is coming up over a nearer hill and
+
+it’s about half a mile off from you now. As it’s
+marching, you can hear the distant rustling of
+
+hundreds and hundreds of footfalls making their way
+through the field.
+
+TRAVIS: In our direction?
+
+MATT: It looks like they’re going to be probably
+passing in front of you.
+
+SAM: Should we hide?
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a 15.
+
+MATT: You rolled a 15? There is no natural paths
+here, it’s an open field. There are areas where
+
+the grass isn’t quite as dense, and there are some
+spots where some of the dirt isn’t as receptive to
+
+grass. You find patches of dry ground, but there
+are no paths that you notice leading out of this
+
+space, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: You don’t know any Mending magic, do
+you?
+
+LAURA: (gasps) I have Mending! I have a Mending
+cantrip.
+
+MATT: You do. What’s the space on Mending?
+
+TALIESIN: You’re welcome. I’m sitting here
+thinking, if only we had a Mending cantrip of some kind.
+
+LAURA: I have that!
+
+LIAM: I have, for two minutes, been thinking: If
+only I had the Mending spell.
+
+LAURA: You guys, I can mend things. Thanks for
+reminding me on that, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I just had to say it out loud.
+
+SAM: Can you try it on the wheel?
+
+LIAM: (pigeon coo)
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I can try it.
+
+SAM: Let’s just do it! Let’s see what happens.
+
+MATT: As you focus on the front wheel, the one
+that had just dented inward and the wood
+
+splintered a bit, that was barely keeping it up,
+the wheel rights itself. The metal bends back into
+
+place, the wood splinters kick right in, the
+spokes are as if they were untouched.
+
+LAURA: Guys, I’m amazing!
+
+SAM: Yes, you are!
+
+LAURA: That would have been way more amazing if
+I’d remembered that I could do this. Let me try it
+
+on this other wheel, though.
+
+SAM: Wait, we have two broken wheels?
+
+MATT: Yeah, one was partially damaged, the other
+one was pretty wrecked. The other wheel,
+
+unfortunately, has taken a fair amount of damage
+from the impact, and the lower half of it has
+
+broken inward, it’s splintered out and it’s bent
+its way off of the axle. Unfortunately, it’s a bit
+
+too big for the Mending cantrip to fix.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I try to punch it into place?
+
+MATT: It’s pretty wrecked. You do have three
+wheels, which means you could try it.
+
+ASHLEY: One of us could be a wheel?
+
+MATT: Yasha curls up around the axle.
+
+MARISHA: How far away is the army?
+
+MATT: You probably have about ten minutes before
+they cross over the byway.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to come over and be like:
+I think we should hide and wait until these guys
+
+pass with this being the situation.
+
+LIAM: How tall is the grass around here?
+
+MATT: Beauregard, Caleb, Molly and Jester, you
+guys notice, breaking away from the regiment above,
+
+you see a cluster of horses heading in your
+direction. You are out in the open.
+
+MARISHA: Are we going to get questioned?
+
+SAM: We could pull the cart off the road if Yasha
+picks it up and runs along with it.
+
+ASHLEY: I could try. We could also kill those
+people and take their horses.
+
+LAURA: No, I think the army would see it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use Disguise Self and I’ll turn
+myself into a crownsguard.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Nott, you should hide.
+
+LAURA: We should look like we’re people that are
+peasants or something.
+
+MARISHA: I agree, what’s our story?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m escorting you to the Labenda Swamp.
+Right? To retrieve stuff for the crown? For
+
+Zadash?
+
+LAURA: No. We needed help because our family is
+in the swamp.
+
+ASHLEY: We could say we were helping out– what
+was her name?
+
+MARISHA: We’re just traveling hired hands. We are
+going to go to the swamp and look for yard work.
+
+TRAVIS: You should move the safe.
+
+SAM: In the swamp?
+
+LAURA: I push the safe off the cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, Yasha and Jester should take the
+safe.
+
+MATT: (horse galloping)
+
+SAM: Are there any woods or anywhere to hide?
+
+MATT: It’s high grass. The grass off the road
+where you guys are standing right now is, for you,
+
+almost shoulder-high.
+
+SAM: I’m going to go in the grass.
+
+MATT: Stealth check.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m just going to sit on the wagon
+looking bored.
+
+LAURA: I just bought it. It’s in the bag.
+
+SAM: 22. Am I still drunk? Do I need to–?
+
+MATT: No, you’ve been traveling for half a day
+since you left, so you’ve pretty much sobered up.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe they can help us fix our wheel.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s my thought.
+
+LAURA: The good stuff’s in my bag. Don’t worry.
+
+MATT: Five horses have now galloped up and slow to
+a trot as they come up alongside, loosely circling
+
+the side of your cart, in the direction of where
+the legion is. They approach; they are all dressed
+
+in Righteous Brand full armor, helmets on, blades
+or bows slung across the shoulders. One of them
+
+approaches, “Hail!”
+
+LAURA, TALIESIN, and ASHLEY: Hail.
+
+MARISHA: Good day.
+
+MATT: “Apologies. We’re going to be crossing the
+road here shortly. We may require your patience
+
+“and shifting–”
+
+TALIESIN: We have a broken wheel, anyway. We’re
+not moving at a particular speed at the moment.
+
+LAURA: Could you help us?
+
+MATT: “Of course. Just of curiosity, where are you
+headed?”
+
+LAURA: We are headed to this swamp place.
+
+TALIESIN: We are headed north.
+
+TRAVIS: Labenda.
+
+MARISHA: The Labenda Swamp.
+
+MATT: “Labenda? I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst
+foe. Well, good luck. I am Captain Maximilian from
+
+"Druvenlode.”
+
+TALIESIN: Captain?
+
+LAURA: What does he look like?
+
+MATT: Through the helmet, you see a well-trimmed
+bit of chin facial hair, short, comes from under
+
+the lip. No mustache, but you can’t see if it
+continues to the rest of his face.
+
+LIAM: Where’s he from again?
+
+SAM and MATT: Druvenlode.
+
+LIAM: Druvenlode.
+
+LAURA: Load or loat?
+
+MATT: Druvenlode.
+
+LAURA: Max Load, got it.
+
+TALIESIN: Goddamn it.
+
+LIAM: Where are you all headed?
+
+MATT: I’m going to do a little hashmark every
+time.
+
+LIAM: Just carve it on the back of your DM’s
+screen like a prisoner.
+
+MATT: At the end of the campaign, you look at my
+side of the Wyrmwood table and it’s all these
+
+horrible marks carved into the wood.
+
+TRAVIS: Like Zsasz from the Batman comics?
+
+LIAM: Captain, where are you headed en masse like
+this today?
+
+MATT: “Well, it seems that the forces of the
+Empire are heading east to keep the rest of you
+
+"safe. Let me see what we can do.”
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Thank you so much.
+
+MATT: He turns the horse around and begins to head
+on back, three follow him while two stay in the
+
+area. Not close to you, but holding down the fort,
+keeping an eye on the road and look behind.
+
+SAM: Do either of them have saddlebags?
+
+MATT: They both do.
+
+SAM: Can I do a little Mage Hand-y? A little
+fishing in the one that’s closest to me?
+
+MATT: You very well may. Make a sleight of hand
+check.
+
+LIAM: Do any of us see this?
+
+TALIESIN: This can’t possibly end poorly.
+
+SAM: 24.
+
+MATT: None of you see this, especially not him or
+his horse.
+
+MARISHA: You included the horse.
+
+MATT: Horses notice things.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck you, horse.
+
+MATT: The saddlebag flips open gingerly, then
+reaches in and a small pouch, relatively heavy,
+
+slips out and makes its way over to you and into
+your grasp.
+
+SAM: I hold on to it. Can I peek inside?
+
+MATT: You do. It is filled with dry oats and
+corn.
+
+SAM: It’s a good one.
+
+TRAVIS: Bunch of little things. Can we ask you–
+are you familiar with the Labenda Swamp?
+
+MATT: The captain has ridden off, so one of the
+two other people that are there– you now look
+
+within the armor. One is male and one is female,
+and the female soldier turns to you. She has a
+
+tense stare and a broad-shouldered look as she
+turns in your direction. “I’ve never been, but I
+
+"hear it’s pretty shitty.”
+
+TRAVIS: Seems the same as what he just said,
+we’re not quite sure what to expect. Any tales or
+
+stories you can share?
+
+MATT: “From what I’ve heard, at the very least,
+it’s not very comfortable, but people seem to
+
+"like it and live there still. It’s one of the
+older provinces in the empire, that I know. Not
+
+"for me.”
+
+LIAM: Would you rather be headed there or where
+you’re heading?
+
+MATT: “That’s not really a question,
+unfortunately. In times of war, we go where we’re
+
+"needed. We’re needed to the east so that you don’t
+have to go and wade into the battlefield
+
+"yourselves.”
+
+LAURA: How long have you been a soldier?
+
+MATT: “This will be my eighth circle.”
+
+MARISHA: Have you seen the frontline before?
+
+MATT: “I’ve not, I’m both terrified and eager. You
+know, you daydream of glory and then, who knows
+
+"once you get there. But I get the sense that
+you’ve seen your fair share of battle in your day,
+
+"right?” Looks right towards Yasha, this hulking
+woman with a giant two-handed greatsword on her back.
+
+TRAVIS: (high-pitched pigeon voice) Stop smiling!
+Anything else but that!
+
+MATT: At this point, another series of clomping
+catches up to you, and you can see the captain’s
+
+returned with two men who are in similar colors
+as the Righteous Brand regiment, but not in armor.
+
+They carry large packs on their side, and you can
+hear the jangling of metal implements inside. One
+
+of them has pieces of wood, some strips. They get
+off the horse, and at this the captain goes, “Right,
+
+"there’s the cart. Do your business. We’re going
+to do our best to help you get back to the road, friends.”
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: Thanks, captain.
+
+LAURA: Thank you so much for your help.
+
+MATT: “Of course.” The two gentlemen go over and
+start giving each other commands. “Lift up
+
+"there.” One of them pulls it up.
+
+LAURA: Do you need any help?
+
+MATT: “By all means, if you have the– right,
+then.” Jester’s now holding the whole cart up by
+
+herself. They get down, pull the wheel off and
+begin to bend it back into place. One of them goes
+
+through a small pack of various pieces of wood,
+some that appear to have been soaked and are somewhat
+
+pliable. Ends up replacing the broken wood,
+nailing it in place. Just to be safe, they take
+
+some rope and tie it over the wheel very taut to try
+and hold the bent wood. “This should get you at
+
+"least to town. I can’t guarantee it will last you
+for a long journey, but I recommend a replacement
+
+"once you get there.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you so much.
+
+MATT: “Of course. Come on.” They get back on their
+horses and they ride back. At this point, the
+
+regiment has now crossed over the road, and you
+can now see hundreds of soldiers going across the
+
+Byway. The captain gives a nod, puts his helmet
+back on. “Well, I wish you all luck. Stay safe and
+
+"I hope that if luck is kind to us, we’ll cross
+paths again.”
+
+LIAM: Stay safe as well. Thank you.
+
+LAURA: Stay safe.
+
+SAM: Bye.
+
+LAURA: Everybody be safe.
+
+MATT: They turn around and they make their way
+back up to the rest of the army. About 25 minutes
+
+or so it takes for the group of soldiers to
+finally cross over the path.
+
+LAURA: Actually it was faster than I expected.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it wasn’t a huge army, per se. Not as
+big as the one you saw leaving Zadash. In total,
+
+it might have been, maybe, 1000 soldiers.
+
+TALIESIN: The Kiss army, basically.
+
+MATT: Now that the way is opened, your cart seems to
+have been temporarily repaired. You make your way your way
+
+back onto the road and continue your heading
+north.
+
+LAURA: Could I try Mending again and see if what
+they did made it to where I can fix it now?
+
+MATT: Sure, I’ll say for the purposes of this,
+make a wisdom check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no I’m wise.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the most insane roll I’ve ever
+seen.
+
+LAURA: 23. Wait, that’s a lie, that was a save.
+20.
+
+MATT: There you go. Because you were so close, you
+were able to see all of the points in which they
+
+attempted to repair the wheel and now that they’ve
+closed the gap on what is currently cracked and on
+
+the verge of collapsing if this fix wasn’t
+centered around it, you manage to concentrate and
+
+with that each one of the–
+
+LAURA: Traveler be with us.
+
+MATT: You watch as the wood refixes itself and
+becomes a solid wheel.
+
+LAURA: Ta-da.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s very handy, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+ASHLEY: Very cool.
+
+LIAM: Good trick.
+
+MARISHA: It’s fitting that the Traveler helps fix
+a wheel.
+
+SAM: Amazing.
+
+LAURA: Right?
+
+MARISHA: It’s very poetic.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: I like it.
+
+LAURA: You see that, Caleb, that’s almost as
+powerful as the shit that you do.
+
+SAM: Let’s not get crazy, what he can do is
+incredible. Have you seen him in action?
+
+LAURA: Have you seen my lollipop?
+
+MARISHA: She did just lift up the carriage.
+
+SAM: Oh yes, she’s super strong, yeah. Just
+her magic, there’s no–
+
+LAURA: Don’t make me Inflict Wounds on you, Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s nothing that’s being said here
+that can’t be said at full momentum.
+
+SAM: Oh no, are going to ring a bell in my head?
+
+MATT: With that, the cart lurches forward. You all
+have to catch up real fast to scamper back onto
+
+the cart as Molly has picked it up again. You get
+yourself back on the road and heading northward.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: Keeping watch, for the rest of the way,
+eventually the sun comes close to setting and you
+
+haven’t quite gotten within visual range of the
+swamp. You’re coming to a relatively hilly portion of
+
+the terrain and ahead most of the valley tends to
+cruise upward where the hills are now cresting and
+
+obscuring the horizon. But the sun is setting, so
+you may be looking somewhere to camp, unless you
+
+want to push through the night.
+
+LIAM: I think we should camp, because then we
+will hit this swamp at a more advantageous
+
+moment.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s see if we can find a rise on one of
+these hills to camp on the top.
+
+MARISHA: Hey Fjord, have you had any more weird
+dreams?
+
+TRAVIS: No, very peaceful, actually.
+
+MARISHA: Are your dreams affected by the weather?
+Like if it’s cold, do you throw up ice shards
+
+instead of salt water or something?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+MARISHA: Because that can be cool.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I could see how that would appear
+that way.
+
+LAURA: And kind of painful, probably.
+
+TRAVIS: More that. It hasn’t happened that
+frequently.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but not yet. If it does, I’ll let
+you know.
+
+LIAM: How frequent is it?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s only happened a couple of times,
+honestly.
+
+LIAM: A couple of times you have spit out
+seawater?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, yeah, just the once, actually.
+
+MARISHA: We don’t know if it’s seawater, though,
+right? It could be like saline.
+
+LIAM: Saline solution?
+
+SAM: Do you wear contacts?
+
+LIAM: Hey, you’re not supposed to drink that
+stuff. It’s for rinsing.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t abide by the rules. I walk my own
+path. Like a twister, I was born to walk alone.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe that’s your problem this whole
+time.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck the rules. Give me saline or give me
+death.
+
+MATT: Smash cut to Fjord’s grave.
+
+LAURA: Well, shit.
+
+TALIESIN: We gave him saline.
+
+LIAM: This week’s episode brought to you by Bausch
+& Lomb.
+
+MATT: As you continue up towards this particular
+hillcrest, there is a small patch of high bushes
+
+in an older campsite. There is a clearing of the
+grass, where it’s mostly rock and dirt with some
+
+bits of dried brush. There’s a rock formation,
+with a bit of charcoal and blackened ground where
+
+a fireplace had previously been set.
+
+TALIESIN: This will do just perfectly. Let’s do
+this.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s set it up.
+
+MATT: You guys bring the cart off to the side, set
+up your evening arrangement, light a small fire
+
+there in that same rock circle. Who’s taking first
+watch?
+
+LIAM: Silver thread around the fire.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take first.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll join.
+
+MATT: One of you make the watch roll with
+advantage, as the other is giving aid.
+
+TALIESIN: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: Nice. In the vicinity, as the dark night
+takes over, there is no moonlight, it is very
+
+dark. But you do catch a flash in the distance.
+(rumbling) And another.
+
+TALIESIN: One-one thousand, two-one thousand,
+three-one thousand. Is it getting closer?
+
+MATT: You listen for a while and it is getting
+closer.
+
+MARISHA: Are we exposed? Like, out?
+
+MATT: You guys are out in the open, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re at the top of a rise, so we can see
+really well.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to get rained on.
+
+MARISHA: Can we all huddle under the–
+
+LAURA: You’re not awake.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, (snoring)
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t mind rain.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we have anything– We don’t have
+actual tents, do we? We don’t have proper tents?
+
+MATT: Not unless any of you have it within your pack,
+but otherwise all you have is your cart.
+
+LAURA: This is why we should have taken that circus
+tent, man.
+
+TRAVIS: I have an idea, let’s carve the bellies
+out of the horses, and we climb inside.
+
+SAM: So that we don’t get wet?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Full tauntaun style.
+
+LAURA: Are there any caves nearby? I mean, we’re
+kind of by a thing?
+
+MATT: You’re in the middle of a field right now.
+It’s hilly terrain and the topography shifts a
+
+bit, but right now all you see is darkness beyond
+your immediate darkvision peripheral.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to get wet.
+
+LIAM: How many of us can fit under that cart, I
+wonder.
+
+TRAVIS: Even then, the ground’s going to get–
+
+LIAM: Disgusting.
+
+MARISHA: Soaking.
+
+MATT: The occasional flash of light you see in the
+distance begins to frame an ominous shape far to
+
+the north: the beginnings of a mountain range that
+you have been able to see previously or hadn’t
+
+paid attention with the darkening sky.
+
+LAURA: Did you guys wake us up because of the
+storm, I’m assuming?
+
+TRAVIS: I think the storm’s going to wake you up
+soon enough.
+
+MATT: And it does. Those who are taking the first
+part of your evening’s rest come to as the storm
+
+begins to come over. The weather gets colder, you
+feel the rain imminent within the next hour.
+
+MARISHA: I was curious of that too.
+
+LAURA: What is he looking for?
+
+SAM: The map.
+
+LAURA: Oh, it’s right there.
+
+SAM: (singing) Get out the map!
+
+MARISHA: How close are we to the Xhorhasian
+border?
+
+LAURA: We’re pretty far away.
+
+LIAM: We’re going here.
+
+TRAVIS: These are not explosions, orange or red?
+
+MATT: No, these were lightning bolts in the
+distance in the storm.
+
+MARISHA: Oh there’s Druvenlode! There’s Max Load.
+
+LIAM: Silberquel Ridge, perhaps? Hupperdook is
+beyond that mountain range.
+
+LAURA: Does that mean that guy was named after a
+whole city?! Does that means he owns a city?
+
+MATT, TRAVIS, and LIAM: He was from Druvenlode.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I thought that was his last name.
+
+SAM: His name was Captain Maximilian.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, if he was taking the Leonardo da
+Vinci approach then it could be accurate. Max of Lode!
+
+TRAVIS: Hmm. I think we just need to hunker down.
+
+LAURA: I’ll take the next watch because I don’t
+mind the rain.
+
+MATT: The rain begins to kick in your vicinity.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take next watch, too.
+
+MATT: The fire begins to go out.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m getting underneath the cart.
+
+SAM: Me too!
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to get on the cart and try and
+put my cloak over me.
+
+MATT: Okay, the cloak you have is treated with
+simple wax to try and resist most water. You’ll
+
+probably be a bit soggy in the morning, but it’s
+doable.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m staying up. I like the rain.
+
+MARISHA: I look at Molly underneath me on the cart
+and I fart a little bit. Just a little.
+
+SAM: I’m down here, too!
+
+(farting noise)
+
+TRAVIS: Not a little one. Don’t gamble on those.
+
+MATT: Alcohol and beef jerky, man.
+
+TALIESIN: At least I’ll definitely notice the
+smell like fucking roses.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: The first watch goes beyond the rain without
+incident. Who is taking the second watch?
+
+LIAM: It is a big group of us, yeah? Is there
+enough people left over to do the last watch?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take last.
+
+MATT: Well, there’s only been the first watch.
+
+TRAVIS: Which was Molly and I, next one is Caleb
+and Jester.
+
+MATT: Okay, I didn’t hear that part. So Caleb
+and Jester, who’s keeping up? Who’s the point man
+
+on that watch?
+
+LIAM: Oh, your eyesight is better than mine.
+
+MATT: Make your check.
+
+LAURA: Just regular plain old check?
+
+MATT: At this point it’s midnight, so it’s pitch
+black.
+
+LAURA: That’s not bad. 19.
+
+MATT: You keep watch throughout the area, now
+without the warm glow of the fire to give you a
+
+good visual perspective. All you can go by are the
+distant flashes and sometimes close flashes of
+
+lightning. (thunder) A loud one hits, probably
+striking a tree no more than two or three miles
+
+from where you are. All of you get jostled awake
+for a moment before getting yourself back to sleep.
+
+LAURA: Big one, did you see that?
+
+MATT: If I could have everybody leave the table
+except for Yasha, please.
+
+SAM: What?!
+
+LIAM: The storm!
+
+LAURA: Shit! Storm!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit!
+
+(yelling)
+
+MATT: As much as everyone else is attempting and
+jostling around to get rest through the night’s
+
+weather, there’s something comforting about the
+sound of rolling thunder to you. Always kind of
+
+has been, but more so in recent years. As
+unconsciousness comes to you, what usually means
+
+dreamless sleep. Welcome to be dreamless because
+not all dreams are good for you. Not all memories
+
+are good for you. But as the dark takes you,
+there’s a flash of light, the sound of thunder,
+
+and there’s a vision. A memory of people all
+around you, but faced away. People you know,
+
+people you grew up with, all looking the opposite
+direction. It fades to dark. There’s another flash
+
+and you’ve pushed through them and you see an
+elevated piece of ground in the central rock in
+
+the shape of a figure, but you can’t see it. It’s
+obscured by the low light. You do know who that
+
+shape is. It goes to dark. It stays dark for a
+while, to the point where you are longing for that
+
+next vision, clamoring for it. You feel this
+searing pain burning up each of your arms. You
+
+look down, but can see nothing except for flames
+curling up the side. Dull bluish purple flames
+
+that create the outline of your forearms. It burns
+up to the tips of your fingers. Flash once more
+
+and around you are bodies. Creatures, people,
+children, monsters, dozens and dozens of corpses
+
+carved and torn asunder. Where you saw the blue
+flame up your arm you just see blood, dripping,
+
+fresh, crimson onto the ground. The only sound you
+hear. Your vision fades to darkness once more.
+
+(thunder) Another blast and there you see it: the
+ruined statue. The one beacon of nameless hope
+
+that pulled you out of that darkness. Missing part
+of its torso, the head mostly cleaved, akilter.
+
+The land seemingly ejecting the presence of what
+this statue represents. Your eyes look down and
+
+focus at the base and as the vision begins to fade
+to black once more, your eyes focus on that single
+
+disc: the four bolts of lightning. The darkness
+takes you once more. The next flash (thunder)
+
+hits, and you’re just walking. Your lips are
+parched. Your muscles ache. You look over your
+
+shoulder and you see before you the memory of the
+land where you grew up. The waste beyond the
+
+central swamp of Xhorhas. But it is crawling with
+thousands and thousands of worms. From this
+
+perspective it looks like it’s so small. But for
+these worms to be where they are, they would be so
+
+immense at this distance. The perspective is
+almost dizzying and you look away. You glance up
+
+back at that mountain and in spite of that pain,
+you continue to push. The vision fades and this
+
+time the darkness lingers. Confusion wells in,
+the desperation for something. It’s not fair. It’s
+
+not fair to be given just a few glimpses and no
+opportunity, no chance. How do you make this
+
+right? What do you make right? What did you do?
+What is there? (thunder) One final, loud,
+
+shattering, shaking flash of light and rolling
+thunder brings to you one singular vision of a
+
+figure in the dark center of a storm cloud
+swirling. The wind buffets your shoulders with
+
+freezing air. You feel your hair being whipped and
+thrown around your face, stinging as it slaps
+
+against your cheeks and eyes. The same figure,
+that statue that had pulled you from the darkness
+
+once before, stands made of the same roaring and
+roiling clouds and rain and wind, stepping out of
+
+the sky towards you. You can see the muscle-bound
+form, the gray flesh, formless yet solid as it
+
+steps down like a titan from the sky. The foot
+lands but a quarter-mile from where you stand,
+
+but the impact causes the ground beneath you to
+quake. (thunder) You strangely feel comfort. You
+
+can’t look away from this figure. As the hand
+comes down and gently rests on the ground before
+
+you, before it turns upward to a palm, a
+sourceless voice comes into your head, a voice
+
+you’ve never heard. For all that you’ve chased
+this mystery, what this beacon is, this is the first
+
+time you’ve heard a voice through this imagery.
+All it says is, “You walk the right path. Be
+
+"strong. Don’t forget who you were, and decide who
+you will become.” The vision fades back into
+
+darkness. (thunder) Another blast of thunder and
+this time you wake up suddenly. The rain is still
+
+pouring outside. You’re amongst the grass. Can we
+get everybody else back in, please?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. Holy moly.
+
+MATT: You wake up. You’re shivering a bit from the
+cold and the night air. The ground has dampened,
+
+even beneath the cart. You were sleeping beneath
+the cart, right?
+
+ASHLEY: Near it.
+
+TRAVIS: Did she go back to New York?!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m here!
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, good.
+
+MARISHA: That would be fucked up, if you used that
+as your exit. Wait, where– what do you mean
+
+Ashley left?
+
+MATT: You forgot to say goodbye. She’s just gone.
+
+LIAM: (singing) Never say goodbye!
+
+SAM: So was she a Xhorhasian spy and are we all
+dead in our sleep?
+
+MATT: Roll a perception check– no.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it water or blood that we’re covered
+in?
+
+MATT: As you come to consciousness through this
+evening’s rest for your final watch, as you gather
+
+after that sleep is probably not going to find its
+way to you again for the rest of the evening. Who
+
+is taking the final watch with you?
+
+LIAM: Oh man, Jester and I talked about
+everything. Like, everything. About childhood,
+
+favorite kind of ice cream. We know everything
+about each other now.
+
+TALIESIN: Pistachio or Rocky Road?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to mull it over in my sleep, good
+night.
+
+TRAVIS: Third watch is going to be either Yasha
+and Nott, or Yasha and Beau.
+
+SAM: I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: One of you two make the watch perception
+roll.
+
+SAM: You can do it.
+
+MATT: Just make a single roll.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, eight?
+
+MATT: As you all rest for the final length of the
+evening, Yasha and Nott, you stay up chatting as
+
+much as you like or staying quiet as much as you
+like. The rain still pouring through in sheets
+
+heavily.
+
+SAM: How you holding up? Can I go under you? Can
+you be like a shelter for me? Like a lean-to?
+
+ASHLEY: Sure, if you want to get under my hood
+here?
+
+SAM: Wing?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, it doesn’t come out all the time.
+
+SAM: I don’t know how it works.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s just if I get really mad.
+
+SAM: But your arm is probably big enough to shield
+me from the rain. Thank you.
+
+ASHLEY: Are you dry?
+
+SAM: Thank you, yes. I don’t like to get wet.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel like I don’t know if I want to keep
+doing this.
+
+SAM: That’s okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Could you give me a moment?
+
+SAM: Give you a moment?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to go to the tree over there.
+
+SAM: Do you have to take a piss?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+SAM: All right, I won’t look.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: I look.
+
+ASHLEY: I go where near the tree was struck close
+to us.
+
+MATT: It’s about a quarter-mile walk from where you
+are, but you can head there.
+
+LAURA: That’s not that long of a walk, quarter
+mile.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can get there. A little jaunt down
+there. Soaking wet as the rain still pours down.
+
+You approach and you come to the half-splintered
+form of one of the larger trees in this section.
+
+There are a few dotted singular trees or clusters
+around, but this was once a tall and proud tree.
+
+As you approach, you can see near the top it’s been
+carved right down the center and part of it has
+
+splintered and exploded. There are chunks of
+wood around the vicinity and you can see even
+
+amongst the rain, on the interior of the exposed
+trunk there are still faintly orange glowing
+
+embers from where the bolt had struck through the
+night.
+
+SAM: (whispered) And a baseball bat.
+
+MARISHA: (whispered) Lemonade.
+
+ASHLEY: I heard you, and I wanted to thank you for
+saving me, and I promise you I will be the
+
+best servant you ever had. Thank you. I’m going to
+take a piece of the bark and I’d like to carve the
+
+symbol into the tree, the Stormlord symbol. Not
+very good, but just to have it there.
+
+MATT: The bark is a harder utensil to utilize to
+carve into bark.
+
+ASHLEY: Sorry, I take a piece of the bark to have
+and I use my sword.
+
+MATT: You can take it and carve in the edge there
+using the tip. It takes you a few minutes to do
+
+so, but you manage to complete the shell of the
+symbol’s outline and then make your trek back to
+
+join up with Nott.
+
+ASHLEY: I got a piece of this bark from that
+powerful lightning that struck it.
+
+SAM: You got bark from a lightning-struck tree?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I wanted to put it in my things. I
+like to have things from nature.
+
+SAM: Do you collect things? I collect things.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I do!
+
+SAM: What kind of collections do you have?
+
+ASHLEY: I pull out my book. I mostly put flowers
+and things in here because I’m collecting them for
+
+someone and I want to keep them all in here from
+my travels.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s beautiful! Is it a special someone?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+SAM: Someone back home? That’s so nice.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. But what are the things you
+collect?
+
+SAM: I collect all sorts of things. I have a
+button collection. I used to collect stamps, I
+
+used to collect different kinds of vials of
+different sorts of fluids and things like that. I
+
+collect soles of shoes. Not shoes, just the
+soles.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, just the bottom bits.
+
+SAM: Yeah, they come in many different shapes and
+sizes. The cobblers throw them away when they’re
+
+bad. You can fish them out of the trash and you
+can have a whole bunch of them.
+
+ASHLEY: What do you use them for?
+
+SAM: Nothing. I mean, you can play a little drum
+thing with them.
+
+ASHLEY: And should you need to resole your
+shoes–
+
+SAM: Sure, if you string them together, they make
+a Roman gladiator belt sort of a thing.
+
+ASHLEY: Have you ever put them one on top of the
+other and make a platform shoe?
+
+SAM: Ooh, I could be a little bit taller! I think
+if you put two on top of each other and push them
+
+in, it looks like lips are talking!
+
+ASHLEY: Cool! Well.
+
+SAM: I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other
+so well!
+
+ASHLEY: Very much so. Do you want to get back
+under here?
+
+SAM: Yes, under your gigantic arm, thank you.
+
+MATT: As Nott cuddles up alongside Yasha’s
+comparably hulking form to keep out of the water,
+
+you finish your final watch as you both watch the
+sun begin to rise over the horizon– or at least,
+
+you can’t see the sun, but you can see the day
+grows lighter as it makes its way over the cloud
+
+cover. The rain is not quite as strong, and the
+lightning seems to have subsided, but it is still
+
+a light drizzle when it comes to the proper
+morning. As the rest of you come to consciousness,
+
+completing your long rest, the day is yours, damp
+as it may be. The low fog and mist still
+
+encompasses most of the valley around you, and
+it’s a beautiful sight as you glance around first
+
+thing in the morning. You can see only the tops of
+the hills slowly breaking through the layer of
+
+cold mist that hits the lower valleys between that
+shifting topography. As you look off, you can now
+
+have a much better view of the Silberquel Ridge
+above this large mountain range that marks the
+
+geological center of the empire. As you glance
+down, you can barely make out what might be the swamp.
+
+LIAM: What’s the temperature like right now?
+
+MATT: It’s pretty cold. I’d say it’s probably in
+the high 40s.
+
+LIAM: We have to be miserable right now because we
+are soaking wet and it is cold.
+
+TALIESIN: This is not my first time.
+
+LAURA: Ah, it’s like a day at the beach!
+
+MATT: It’s not freezing point yet, but it’s
+definitely cold and wet.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I miss having a proper tent, and
+the wagons were nice. I miss that.
+
+LAURA: We should get some waxed canvas or
+something.
+
+TALIESIN: Something at least.
+
+TRAVIS: How’d the rest of the night go? Any
+lightning strikes or anything crazy?
+
+LAURA: There was a big one close by.
+
+TRAVIS: There was?
+
+LAURA: It happened right before I went to sleep.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you see it?
+
+MATT: Where Molly pointed over there, you see what
+was once a tree is destroyed and splintered.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s so rare!
+
+ASHLEY: It tipped it right over.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s ama– I mean, right? Lightning
+strike?
+
+LAURA: Don’t know.
+
+SAM: Happens every time it rains.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to run over and look at the
+tree.
+
+MATT: It’s impressive.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Can I take some little twigs and
+pieces of wood and put it in my little component
+
+pouch?
+
+TALIESIN: They’re good luck.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s what I’ve heard.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, tree struck by lightning, very
+good luck.
+
+LAURA: Really?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve only seen it hitting the water and
+it’s just (explosion).
+
+MARISHA: I heard it was bad luck. That’s what I
+was told.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s bad luck for normal people.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck.
+
+LAURA: So what kind of people–?
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody else!
+
+LAURA: So I should go?
+
+TALIESIN: Absolutely!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to go get some of it too!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah?
+
+SAM: Let’s take the whole fucking tree!
+
+TALIESIN: Dig it up!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: Attach it to the back of the horse. Go!
+
+TRAVIS: Destroy the cart?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck.
+
+TALIESIN: I go over to take a look at it.
+
+LIAM: I am working on a thing. I have not got it
+figured out yet, but I think that I could make
+
+some sort of shelter for us so that this doesn’t
+have to happen again. I haven’t worked out all
+
+the– what?
+
+SAM: A magical shelter?
+
+TALIESIN: Or just out of waxed cloth?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, how do you mean?
+
+LIAM: No, magic, of course. But I don’t have the–
+I’ve been working on it, but I haven’t struck to the–
+
+SAM: You need more paper?
+
+MARISHA: You need more incense?
+
+LIAM: Well, I always need those things, but I need
+more time and more research.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, if you come up with an ingredients
+list, we’ll be happy to drum stuff up.
+
+LIAM: Thank you, Mollymauk.
+
+TALIESIN: Talking about making shelter, that
+sounds great.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: What kind of a shelter?
+
+LIAM: This sucks.
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Yeah, it does.
+
+MARISHA: Like a dome, like a bubble dome? How do
+you mean?
+
+LIAM: I have higher hopes of– I mean this is a
+long ways off, but I would love a large home or a
+
+mansion of some kind that you can (snaps) on a
+whim. Doesn’t that sound amazing?
+
+LAURA: That’s impossible. You can’t make something
+like that!
+
+SAM: Caleb can do it if he sets his mind to it!
+
+TALIESIN: Like some sort of phantom manor is what
+you’re speaking of. It would appear–
+
+ASHLEY: That sounds like that wouldn’t be
+something that’s real.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ve never heard of anything like
+that.
+
+ASHLEY: Me neither.
+
+TALIESIN: Doesn’t have to be real to be interesting.
+
+LIAM: We have all of us seen magic in our lives.
+
+TALIESIN: I like this plan. I’m into it.
+
+LIAM: Nothing is impossible.
+
+ASHLEY: But I see from her, you know? She fixed a
+wheel.
+
+LAURA: I fixed a wheel.
+
+LIAM: That is correct.
+
+ASHLEY: Naturally, she could make a house next.
+
+LAURA: I could do it because I can make a giant
+lollipop.
+
+LIAM: You have faith, so you should have faith.
+
+LAURA: I have lots of faith.
+
+TRAVIS: If you can, Caleb, that would be quite
+remarkable.
+
+LAURA: Is it considered faith if you just really like
+somebody?
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+TRAVIS: Well listen, nothing gets the blood warmed
+like movement, so perhaps we should pick up and
+
+get going.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to, before we take off, take a
+look at that tree that got hit. I want to examine
+
+how it was struck by lightning.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Beau does pushups while waiting for
+Molly.
+
+MATT: Actually, this would be more of a nature
+check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, nature. Three.
+
+MATT: It’s struck by lightning, man. Pretty
+impressive.
+
+TALIESIN: Is this practically like a little bowl
+now, or did it split?
+
+MATT: It split, and a lot of the tree is still
+standing, but it’s broken open from the center,
+
+and one half of it’s broken away and shot off into
+multiple pieces.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to drop a piece of silver in
+the center so the next person who comes around and
+
+examines this thing finds a piece of silver.
+
+MATT: Okay, cool.
+
+LIAM: Also, Caleb has watched Beauregard go to
+town on 100 pushups or something, and I go maybe
+
+40 feet away and I try as well. I do one pushup,
+and then I go study Siff Duthar’s spell tome some
+
+more instead of going to two.
+
+MATT: Fair enough.
+
+SAM: Are we waiting here for a while?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MATT: No, you guys are moving on.
+
+SAM: Oh, we’re on a moving cart?
+
+MATT: You are now.
+
+LAURA: I want to ride on a horse today!
+
+MATT: Jester jumps onto one of the horses’ backs.
+As you guys begin to pick up speed and head down,
+
+you’re now at the very top of this major series of
+hill clusters and making your way down towards the
+
+base of the Silberquel Ridge.
+
+SAM: As we travel, I’m going to try to make acid.
+Probably not a great idea, but I’m going to–
+
+MATT: Do you have alchemy supplies on you?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I bought a kit. I’ve been trying to do
+it for a while, but we’ve never stopped.
+
+MATT: All right. I would like you to make– hold
+on, it’s roll plus proficiency because you’re
+
+proficient in alchemy, plus, this will have to be
+dexterity at disadvantage because you’re in the
+
+back of a moving cart.
+
+TRAVIS: Wooden wheel cart.
+
+SAM: 16 plus proficiency is 19.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+SAM: But now I roll at disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Roll a 20.
+
+SAM: Nine. That’s a 12.
+
+MATT: You manage to succeed in spite of the– at
+one point, it gets a little dodgy and you almost
+
+drop it and catch it before it begins to spill the
+nearly completed acidic formula all over the
+
+center of the wooden cart, eating through it.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re making cocktails?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You manage to complete one vial of acid, so
+you can mark that down.
+
+SAM: One vial of acid, great.
+
+MATT: As you guys approach the mountain range, you
+can see the clouds now that have pressed down
+
+obscure the peaks of the top of the range. You can
+see the darkened mountainous form vanishing up
+
+into the top, gray, whereas in the distance,
+sheets of rain that are still coming down much
+
+heavier to the north obscure your ability to see
+further beyond the northward valley to either side
+
+of the range. You also see the southern base of
+the mountains, which is the direction you’re
+
+heading. You get the sense that the watershed–
+that most of the mountain range seems to almost
+
+lean to a southward direction, so the watershed of
+all the rain pours and slides down the mountain to
+
+this one central southern area, and there you see
+the darkened, tangled, thick swamp of Labenda,
+
+your destination.
+
+LAURA: Ugh, it’s going to suck even more because
+of this storm.
+
+MATT: Sitting deep green and distant, tangled and
+sprawling before you.
+
+LIAM: How far up is it about?
+
+MATT: From where you are now, I’d say it’s eight
+or so miles.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LAURA: Hey, at least it’s cold so there won’t be a
+lot of bugs around. Normally, bugs are terrible in
+
+swamps, I hear.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d rather be cold than have bugs.
+
+LAURA: Right?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. It’s a very fair point.
+
+MATT: Continuing your path on for a little bit of
+the morning, eventually you begin to watch as the
+
+grasses begin to give way to more… moistened–
+that’s a fun word to use, moistened– terrain. The
+
+normal dry– even after a rain, the damp ground
+is now becoming sludgy, and the path itself, the
+
+road, seems to have been well-built and set for
+this type of travel. But even then, it’s starting
+
+to gather on the wheels a bit as you ride through,
+and you can see bits of it are clustering up and
+
+leaving this groove in the ground behind you.
+
+TALIESIN: Who’s on a horse? Am I on the cart, or
+am I on a horse?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m on a horse.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll be in the cart then.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll be in the cart.
+
+LIAM: Cart.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take one of the swords and
+start using the flat of the blade to scrape the
+
+wheel and give it an edge to start removing the
+mud off of it and hop between wheels.
+
+MATT: Okay, and you move around each one. It
+doesn’t get too bad, thankfully, because it’s
+
+still pretty slick. When it clumps on, it
+generally slides off. It’s not immediately damp
+
+from the first time for most of the vicinity
+here.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, and if you start to lose hope, your
+horse sinks into the mud and it’s gone forever.
+
+TRAVIS: That fucking movie traumatized me.
+
+MATT: The rain does eventually begin to subside.
+However, the edge of the swamp begins to breach
+
+the path that you’re heading. You begin to see the
+swamp grasses take over from the hillside. You
+
+begin to see the heavy puddles of swamp bog water
+beginning to appear to the right and left. The
+
+trees you’re used to seeing here in the middle of
+the field are giving way to banyan trees and other
+
+thicker-trunked, gnarled bases, heavy, thick
+vine-covered canopies. The insects begin to fill
+
+the air with a weird buzzing.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I thought there wouldn’t be insects
+because it’s cold!
+
+LIAM: In addition to the insects, do we start to
+become aware of wildlife around? Birds and
+
+beasts?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Do we know anything about where we’re going?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to see a safe house that the
+lights have been out at.
+
+LAURA: We’re trying to find Febron Keyes.
+
+SAM: Yeah, but it’s a big swamp. Are any of us
+good at like wood stuff? Is this me? Am I the girl?
+
+LIAM: I’m good at nature. I’ve lived in the woods
+for a long time.
+
+MARISHA: I’m okay at surviving.
+
+MATT: About half an hour or so of travel along the
+road into the center of Labenda Swamp, the humid
+
+air prevents the mounting sweat on your body from
+evaporating, causing your sweat to pool in your
+
+armor in uncomfortable ways. Your breathing is
+somewhat shallow as you adapt to the moisture in
+
+the air around you. The ever-present hum of the
+buzzing insects begins to permeate the atmosphere
+
+around you, while the musky stench of decaying
+plants and stagnant water grow stronger the
+
+further in you pass. A very low fog, since it’s
+still relatively early in the day, sits across the
+
+surface of the water that’s exposed in patches
+between where the thick roots and soft rotting
+
+vegetation seems to be sitting, like a spongy
+ground.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take my staff and poke it in
+the marshy bits.
+
+MATT: As you push down, it sinks a few inches. As
+you pull back, the portion that you had pressed in
+
+remains, but the water begins to fill up the space
+where your staff had pushed in.
+
+LIAM: On the plus side, I think sitting in the
+cart, that Caleb is probably the cleanest he has
+
+been in two years because it’s been raining non
+stop.
+
+MATT: You guys continue further into the swamp.
+You get about another half hour or so on the path
+
+before Beauregard, Caleb, Molly and Jester, all at
+once, you hear this strange trilled cry of some
+
+kind. It’s like, (cawing).
+
+LIAM: I cast Mage Armor on myself.
+
+MATT: Mage Armor.
+
+LAURA: That sounds like it was talking, or did
+that sound like a bird?
+
+TALIESIN: I think that sounded like a bird
+talking.
+
+MARISHA: It sounded like an alert to me.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think I heard anything.
+
+LAURA: Should we call back?
+
+TALIESIN: What should we call back?
+
+MARISHA: (cawing)
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, that’s what we decided to do?
+
+LIAM: That’s not a good idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Nope.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe it’s a mating call.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it’s just a bird.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t see how that’s any better.
+
+MATT: You hear it again, only this time it sounds
+intense, or frantic. The strange (bird croaking).
+
+MARISHA: Does it sound like multiple, or from the
+same source?
+
+MATT: It sounds singular, so far.
+
+LAURA: Where’s it coming from? What area?
+
+MATT: It’s coming to the right, off the road, like
+deep into the swamp.
+
+LAURA: It’s over there.
+
+SAM: Are we going to stop? We’re moving?
+
+MATT: You guys are still moving forward on the
+path.
+
+LAURA: Can we look, can we see? Can we see into
+the swamp?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: Natural one!
+
+MATT: As you’re glancing out there, a piece of
+stray vegetation, falling from one of the nearby
+
+trees, flitters into your eye.
+
+LAURA: Ow! I got a leaf– No, I think it’s a
+leaf.
+
+SAM: Use Mending.
+
+LAURA: I use Mending on my eye.
+
+MATT: No effect.
+
+TRAVIS: Now that we’ve continued on, how do the
+wagon wheels look on the road as we’re moving? Are
+
+they leaving tracks that’s filling in with water
+behind us at this point?
+
+MATT: Faintly.
+
+TRAVIS: Not like the staff push, though.
+
+MATT: No, she was pushing off the path. This road
+is designed to not sink heavy with the rest of
+
+the swamp material. A lot of travel happens in and
+out on this main path on the byway. As long as
+
+you’re on the path, for the most part, you should
+be fine.
+
+MARISHA: Is this considered the Berleben path?
+
+MATT: This is the path to Berleben. The Bromkiln
+Byway is the road you’re taking.
+
+MARISHA: The Bromkiln. So this is not–
+
+MATT: You’re in the swamp.
+
+SAM: The road goes through the swamp.
+
+MATT: Yes, and Berleben is further in the swamp.
+
+LIAM: I would say that Caleb has spent a lot of
+time over the last several years in woods. Can I
+
+check to see if I have ever heard that cry
+before?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+LIAM: That is an 18.
+
+MATT: It sounds similar to a crow cry, but it
+sounds frantic. You’ve heard the sound similar to
+
+it before, when you once as a child watched a crow
+snatched in the jaws of some sort of hunting cat.
+
+Right before its bones were crushed and it went
+lifeless, it’s a very similar sound.
+
+SAM: That’s specific.
+
+TRAVIS: No movement that we can see, just the
+sound?
+
+MATT: No, just the sound. It’s loud enough where
+it’s not that far off the road, but it’s not in
+
+sight right now. There’s too many tree trunks
+obscuring your vision.
+
+TRAVIS: Branch canopies over us at this point?
+
+MATT: They are, but they’re not super thick.
+There’s still light coming through, and as you
+
+travel, there are bits and pieces that overhang
+the road, but you still have open sky ahead of
+
+you. You don’t think it’s going to continue the
+further into the swamp you go.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, will you look at my eye? I think
+there’s something still in here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, here, look up. Yeah, you got like a
+tree booger in it.
+
+LAURA: Fjord, get it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, god, this is the worst part. Can I try
+and get the boog out of her eye?
+
+MATT: Roll a dexterity check.
+
+SAM: Please be a one. Please be a one. Please be a
+one.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: With a deft flick of his finger, he
+manages to pluck the piece of vegetation from your eye.
+
+LAURA: Wow! My hero.
+
+TRAVIS: I got it, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Thank you Oskar– I mean Fjord!
+
+MATT: It gently hits the side of Molly’s cheek.
+
+LIAM: Fjord regurgitates saline solution.
+
+TRAVIS: I got it, (vomiting).
+
+LAURA: Yasha starts throwing up.
+
+ASHLEY: Uh-oh, it’s happening again.
+
+MARISHA: Does there appear to be any sign of
+wreckage, or anything else that looks like it
+
+might not have made its way through this path
+because of other dangers?
+
+MATT: You, who have been keeping a discerning eye,
+and you rolled what on your perception check before?
+
+MARISHA: 15, but that was a bit ago.
+
+MATT: Roll again as you’ve stopped at this place
+here.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not as good this time, 12.
+
+MATT: 12. Something shifts in the water ahead,
+almost beyond your vision. Something that was
+
+stationary before, and looked like a log that had
+been resting in the water, dips away from you in
+
+the direction of the noise.
+
+MARISHA: Nobody move.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to gently light up one of my
+swords.
+
+MATT: Okay, go ahead and mark that.
+
+MARISHA: If you’re going to move, move onto the
+cart.
+
+SAM: Have we stopped the cart?
+
+LAURA: But we’re on horses.
+
+MARISHA: Are we on horses?
+
+MATT: You guys are still on the path, yeah.
+
+SAM: Should we stop moving the cart?
+
+TRAVIS: What did you see? Yeah, we should stop.
+What’d you see?
+
+MARISHA: Something just moved in the water. It
+might be able to hear our movements, though.
+
+LAURA: Was it a snake?
+
+MATT: It moved away from you.
+
+MARISHA: It moved away though.
+
+MATT: It moved in the direction of the sound. You
+hear it again (panicked bird croaking).
+
+LAURA: I really want to see what it is. Oh, you
+don’t have a bird, you have a cat.
+
+ASHLEY: Is this terrain similar at all to
+Xhorhas?
+
+MATT: This terrain is pretty similar to you, yeah.
+In places where you grew up, some hunting and some
+
+places in your nomadic lifestyle put you in
+terrain very similar to this. So you’re pretty
+
+comfortable here.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I take a ball bearing out and toss it and
+throw it into the swamp. See what happens.
+
+MATT: Nothing.
+
+LAURA: Some poor fish is going to try to eat
+that.
+
+MARISHA: He’s probably going to die. Oh man, poor
+guy. He’ll be fine.
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing? Anything?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to use Minor Illusion, and about
+30 feet away above the water, just above the
+
+surface of it, I’m going to create a little
+hummingbird and have it whip back and forth above
+
+the water.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s clever.
+
+TRAVIS: Just to see what–
+
+MATT: Continues for a bit.
+
+TRAVIS: Move it a little.
+
+MATT: No reaction.
+
+TRAVIS: Make it disappear. I think we’re okay.
+
+SAM: Should we continue on, or–?
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should call out and see if Febron
+is here.
+
+SAM: Maybe it’s Febron, maybe that’s a–
+
+LAURA: Maybe it’s a call.
+
+LIAM: We’re just getting into this swamp right
+now, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re maybe an hour into it.
+
+MARISHA: Would we know if this is the stretch of
+road that they were talking about, that they were
+
+having issues with?
+
+MATT: They were cut off from the safe house. You
+don’t know where the safe house is, or what
+
+location it is at.
+
+LAURA: But the safe house is in the swamp, it’s
+not in Berleben, right?
+
+MATT: As far as you know, yes.
+
+SAM: We press on.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe not calling out.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we can climb a tree! Are there any
+tall trees?
+
+MATT: There are a number of tall trees.
+
+LAURA: Can I start climbing a tree?
+
+MATT: Sure, you want to get a little closer and
+climb a tree?
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+MATT: Make a general athletics check as you jump
+off the side, your legs (slurping) into the swamp,
+
+as they sink about a foot with each step, leaving
+these heavy footprints behind that fill with water.
+
+LAURA: 21.
+
+MATT: You make your way through the swamp, the
+suction doesn’t stop you one bit. You grab the
+
+nearby tree and climb to the top and get off to a
+branch and look in the direction. Make a
+
+perception check, please. That’s cocked. How could
+you do that?
+
+LAURA: It was a really good one if it hadn’t been.
+Perception ten.
+
+MATT: Ten? That’s enough. Over the edge you glance
+down and you can see past the tree line, maybe
+
+about 100 or so feet from where you are, there’s a
+small clearing, this open area. Where the water
+
+is, there is a thick bit of black bog. It looks
+almost like a thick swampy, tar-ish little pool.
+
+You can see a part of a tree has fallen into it,
+and the liquid is generally darkening the bottom
+
+of where it’s been stuck. You don’t know how long
+it’s been there. There is the dark root, and
+
+crooked branches, and elements of it sticking up
+in the air. The smell of bog rot is very strong,
+
+even from this proximity to it. You see something
+moving in the center of this bog, struggling,
+
+shifting. You see, covered in this tar-like
+material and flailing, some sort of humanoid
+
+creature of jet black skin. It’s not skin–
+feathers. It’s fighting against the swamp, it’s
+
+small. Shifting out of the water off to the side,
+slowly up to the bog, probably what Beau saw
+
+earlier, some sort of reptilian creature with a
+long snout and a long tail. Curving around and
+
+making its way slowly towards the bog. As the
+flailing bird creature is attempting to give a
+
+(panicked bird croaking).
+
+LAURA: I cast Guiding Bolt on the reptilian
+creature.
+
+SAM: How far is it?
+
+LAURA: It’s 120 feet distance and you said that
+the bog is 100 feet away.
+
+MATT: That’s true. That was going to be a– uh-oh,
+over here. What’s the DC on that?
+
+LAURA: It’s a– shit, sorry.
+
+MATT: It’s all good.
+
+LAURA: Guiding Bolt!
+
+MATT: The DC on any of your spells.
+
+LIAM: It’s your proficiency, plus your wisdom,
+plus eight.
+
+LAURA: Plus seven.
+
+MATT: Plus seven? It fails. Roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Okay, ah! 4d6, ah! Eight, ten, 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage. All of this divine
+energy suddenly bursts and burns around the
+
+creature’s body. As it suddenly spins, with this
+hiss in the direction, looking around and seeing
+
+nothing there.
+
+LAURA: Don’t worry, we’ll save you! There’s a
+thing, and it’s trapped and there’s the reptile
+
+thing that’s going to eat it!
+
+TRAVIS: Where? Which direction?
+
+LAURA: Over there. I point and I start climbing
+over and try to get to it.
+
+LIAM: Do we even see her anymore?
+
+MATT: You see her in the tree, you don’t see what
+she’s looking at and pointing at. She climbs down
+
+the tree and begins running in that direction.
+
+LAURA: It’s about 100 feet away. Don’t worry.
+
+SAM: Don’t worry? What?
+
+TALIESIN: What?
+
+MATT: She’s ran off.
+
+SAM: Shit.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck. I’ll run off after her.
+
+ASHLEY: Same.
+
+MARISHA: What are we saving?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. Right now, we’re saving
+Jester.
+
+MARISHA: I’m still on a horse, yeah? I’m on a
+horse.
+
+MATT: You are, yeah. You’re staying on your horse
+to get there?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m staying on my horse!
+
+TRAVIS: You’re going to hard tax your horse?
+
+MARISHA: (galloping) How cool is that?
+
+MATT: Well, it’s cool for the first minute before
+it goes (mud slurping).
+
+LAURA: Guiding Bolt is an attack thing, so I have
+to roll to attack.
+
+MATT: Oh, got you. Roll to attack.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no. Okay, it definitely hits. It’s plus
+seven, 16, 23.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits. All right, cool. So
+timeline worked out.
+
+LAURA: Yay!
+
+MATT: As you approach, this is the visual from the
+side that you see.
+
+TRAVIS: Yay, map time!
+
+LAURA: I’m so glad we checked out what it was.
+
+TRAVIS: (beatboxing)
+
+LAURA: Oh shit!
+
+SAM: So many trees.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, look at all these trees.
+
+TRAVIS: Damn.
+
+MATT: This here is the gator that you see making
+its way there. It is very large.
+
+LAURA: Oh no, it’s really big. Look at that teeny
+little bird guy.
+
+MATT: Jester, you make your way up over to that
+side. The rest of you are currently trying to
+
+catch up on that end of the table. That being the
+case, I need everyone to roll initiative.
+
+SAM: Oh, boy.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck!
+
+TALIESIN: That’ll do.
+
+SAM: You know what we never do?
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+SAM: Tap into our pool of luck.
+
+LAURA: Ah, shit! Our fate point.
+
+MARISHA: The thing that we’ve been hauling
+around.
+
+SAM: Yeah, we never use it. We’ve never ever used
+it. Ever.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, using what?
+
+SAM: You know the dodecahedron thing.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, yeah.
+
+LAURA: We have to focus on it in the morning.
+
+MARISHA: You have to stare at it for a minute.
+
+MATT: Keep it in mind.
+
+TALIESIN: I have a thought. I have a coin, and
+whoever’s holding the coin has that for the day.
+
+Then we pass it around, so you have this as a
+chip.
+
+LAURA: That’s really smart.
+
+TALIESIN: Obviously we didn’t do it this morning,
+but from now on.
+
+LAURA: We’ll just say we pass the coin.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Luck is for suckers, man.
+
+TALIESIN: Who wants it for tomorrow? Or for next,
+for after the fight?
+
+MARISHA: For the next eight hours?
+
+MATT: Heading this direction–
+
+SAM: I’ll take it.
+
+LAURA: Let’s hope nobody dies in this fight.
+
+LIAM: Also, it’s important that it is kept
+hidden.
+
+MATT: North is that way. That’s the direction you
+were traveling was this direction. You’re heading
+
+this way.
+
+TRAVIS: North is that direction?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: Correct. 25 to 20? 20 to 15?
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: 15!
+
+MARISHA: Man, that’s pretty crappy.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not close enough to really do
+anything yet.
+
+MATT: Beau, you got 15?
+
+MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
+
+MATT: Molly, you got 15?
+
+TALIESIN: Uh-huh.
+
+TRAVIS: You assume there’s only one of them.
+
+MATT: That brings us to 15 to ten.
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+LIAM: 12 as well.
+
+MATT: What’d you get, Jester?
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, Yasha, Caleb, Nott.
+
+MATT: 12?
+
+TRAVIS: Six!
+
+LIAM and TRAVIS: Big six!
+
+MATT: You got a six?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+ASHLEY: Oo-wee!
+
+TRAVIS: Shooter, coming out!
+
+MATT: Beau and Molly, you’re up first. At a full
+double dash, you can catch up, at this point,
+
+almost to Jester. It’s rough terrain because it’s
+a swamp. You guys, we’ll say, get about there, and
+
+Molly, you’re a little bit behind, because Beau is
+a little faster than you.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, sure. She probably did a little
+(whooshes).
+
+MATT: Correct. That’s your turn. That gets us to
+Jester.
+
+LAURA: I can go?
+
+MATT: You can go.
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh. Okay! I’m going to cast Spiritual
+Weapon!
+
+SAM: Dun-dun-dun-dun lollipop!
+
+ASHLEY: Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
+
+MATT: Where are you placing that? 60 feet range?
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit. That’s right. It’s a 60 foot
+range. How far can I get it? That’s true. Oh, I
+
+guess I can run forward first before I do it. I’m
+going to run forward and try to get up on that tree.
+
+MATT: It’s rough terrain against the swamp because
+it’s very (marshy sloshes).
+
+LAURA: Okay. That’s about as far as I can go?
+
+MATT: As far as you can get, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Wow. I’m going to stand on that log so I’m
+out of the swamp.
+
+MATT and LAURA: (singing) Log! It’s big, it’s
+heavy, it’s wood!
+
+MATT: (singing) You’re not meant to stand on this.
+It’s really obnoxious, yeah! We’ll say right
+
+there. You’re on it.
+
+LIAM: I’m on a log.
+
+LAURA: Wait. I can’t get it quite that far, can I?
+Hold on. Let me check one last thing before I
+
+definitely do that.
+
+MATT: You can get almost to it with a 60-foot
+range.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll put it as close as I can to it.
+
+MATT: Right there is the closest you can get.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. That’s my bonus action.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LAURA: For my action, I’m going to wait until it’s
+close enough, and then I’m going to hit it.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re holding?
+
+LAURA: I’m holding my actual action to attack it.
+
+MATT: Can you use an action to hit with it? I
+think it’s a bonus action.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s a bonus action.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+LAURA: That’s dumb. That was dumb on my part.
+
+MARISHA: From my perspective, it looks like the
+gator is super stoked about having this lollipop.
+
+MATT: This is his lucky day. This lollipop
+apparates out of the swamp water and is now
+
+hovering there.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to hold Sacred Flame to cast on
+him.
+
+MATT: You got it. Ending Jester’s turn, that
+brings us to Yasha. Full run. What’s your speed?
+
+ASHLEY: 40 feet.
+
+MATT: 40 feet. You’re right up next to Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking linebacker 40-yard dash.
+
+MARISHA: (heavy quick footsteps)
+
+ASHLEY: I can’t walk in, right?
+
+MATT: No, that’s double dash, because you guys all
+stayed back while Jester ran in. You’re all barely
+
+getting caught up to her at this point. Caleb,
+you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I am? Okay. I am going to stick a root
+of licorice in my mouth like a hayseed like I’m
+
+Fjord and cast Haste on Nott. Read this because
+your armor class is up, you have an extra action
+
+per round, you have advantage on dexterity saves.
+I will do my full movement forward. 30 feet.
+
+MATT: That’s about as far as you get right there.
+We’ll say, comparatively. Just knock them around!
+
+TALIESIN: These happen to be made of metal.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, you get more out of it.
+
+MATT: It chips the paint better.
+
+Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Wow, I’m feeling so fast.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, you could double dash!
+
+SAM: I will dash. You know, to catch up to them, I
+guess.
+
+MATT: With your regular movement speed, you’ll get
+up to where Caleb is. Sorry, where Molly is.
+
+SAM: I bonus action dash.
+
+MATT: Bonus action dash will get you up to where,
+up to the edge and about, we’ll say right there.
+
+SAM: Then I get two attacks. Two actions now,
+right?
+
+LIAM: You have an extra action. Yeah.
+
+SAM: Whoa. That’s still out of range of hand
+crossbow.
+
+TALIESIN: Is it?
+
+SAM: Well, no it’s not. It’s that I have to fire
+at disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Up to you.
+
+SAM: All right. Sure. I’ll do that, I guess.
+
+LIAM: You can use the extra action to go closer as
+well.
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: Or extra attack.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ll use one action to get closer
+still. Okay.
+
+MATT: It’s swampy. (marshy sloshing)
+
+SAM: I’ll test the air and do a lob shot.
+
+MATT: Go for it, arcing it over. With
+disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Okay. Ooh. Two plus something, so it’s nine.
+
+MATT: No. It goes wide. Sticks into one of the
+nearby swamp trees over here. That ends your turn.
+
+LAURA: That was really close, though!
+
+SAM: I’m sorry, Caleb! I failed you.
+
+LAURA: He’s within range of my radiant blast now, so I
+can attack him.
+
+MATT: You can, so do that as you release the
+bolt.
+
+LAURA: Okay. The Sacred Flame is what I meant to
+say. Dexterity of 15.
+
+MATT: That’s a failure with a two. Roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh wait. Do I get more because I’m level
+five now? “Spell damage increases when you
+
+"reach–” Oh 2d8, yes. Oh, good. Three whole
+damage, woo.
+
+MATT: All right. Three.
+
+LIAM: I love this cleric.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s still something.
+
+LIAM: That’s fucking dumb.
+
+SAM: (mockingly) I can’t do anything. I suck.
+
+LAURA: I can mend the shit out of some wheels,
+though, bitches.
+
+MATT: It approaches–
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+MATT: –the bird creature. It doesn’t have its
+action to strike it, unfortunately, because it had
+
+to get the extra movement. Coming out of the way
+here, you see–
+
+(gasping)
+
+MATT: Because at this point, you realize, the one
+that was approaching it was approaching it from
+
+the opposite direction that Beau saw the other
+thing move.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I was wondering why it was coming
+from the other direction.
+
+MATT: That’s the one that Beau must have seen. It
+begins to emerge from the brush underneath.
+
+There’s this low growl. You hear the growling,
+sucking sound as it approaches.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+MATT: It’s going to make a strike.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no. Don’t die.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! What if it’s a trap?
+
+MATT: Natural one. That’s fucking lucky. As it
+attempts to bite out towards it, the small bird
+
+creature scrambles backward and manages to beat
+its jaw out of the way. It is going to attempt to
+
+swing around and swing its tail in its direction.
+A two? Are you fucking serious?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah! Sorry.
+
+LIAM: Screw you, Snitch.
+
+TRAVIS: The dice can hear you.
+
+MATT: Okay. Apparently. So yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s so pissed.
+
+MATT: Although, technically, the creature is
+restrained, so it does have advantage on its
+
+attacks. Yeah, attack rolls against it have
+advantage, because it’s restrained. So the first
+
+attack missed, the bite. The tail does hit. The
+jaws, it missed with a one and a two on the first
+
+strike. The second one it swings with its tail–
+Hey.
+
+TRAVIS: I love it.
+
+MATT: I’m going by the rules. It’s restrained. The
+second one, the tail, does hit. Crack! This is
+
+going to be 19 points of bludgeoning damage. As
+the tail cracks across the scrambling bird, you
+
+watch as it goes limp and is currently
+unconscious, its tiny form now stuck in the bog
+
+and unmoving.
+
+LAURA: We should have got to it sooner!
+
+MARISHA: This is so prehistoric!
+
+TRAVIS: Now we’re in this for a dying bird?
+
+MATT: Now it’s Fjord’s turn.
+
+TRAVIS: Are we staying in this?
+
+LAURA: Hey, man. I’m up here. I don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. Fine. I’ll use my speed to
+approach 15 feet. Half of 30.
+
+MATT: Your speed will get you about there. You and
+Caleb are about the same space.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use Eldritch Blast at 120 feet for
+the gator. The farthest north.
+
+MATT: Roll the attacks.
+
+TRAVIS: Two beams. That’s a fat one plus four.
+That’s five points of damage.
+
+MATT: Five points.
+
+TRAVIS: And the second beam 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Did you roll for the attacks on each of
+those?
+
+TRAVIS: I did not. I have never played this game
+before, apparently. Thank you guys for your
+
+patience. That is a nine.
+
+MATT: Nine misses.
+
+TRAVIS: And that’s a 12.
+
+MATT: 12 misses. Both go wide off into space. No
+damage to that croc. However, as it slams into the
+
+wood nearby and the ground, it turns in your
+direction, noticing now the arriving brigade.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use my bonus action to cast–
+
+MARISHA: We’re the brigade.
+
+TRAVIS: Nope, that’s it. That’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Top of the round now. Molly and Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Are we doing this? Birds die this way all
+the time.
+
+LAURA: It’s not a bird!
+
+MARISHA: What? It’s feathery!
+
+LAURA: No, it looked like a person, you guys!
+
+TRAVIS: But look. I mean, two big-ass, right at
+the dinner table, we’re real far away. Going to
+
+take a hot minute for us to get there. The bell’s
+been rung.
+
+MARISHA: What if it’s Febron?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m at least going to get up to– What’s
+a basic movement?
+
+MATT: We’ll say for the purposes of this, at
+movement, because the space is not right here, so
+
+I’m going to get you on the edge of the map for
+your movement.
+
+TALIESIN: Am I within 60 feet of either of these?
+
+MATT: Sure, you are.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we doing this? Well, we’re doing
+this. I’m going to try and cast Enthrall on the
+
+closest gator.
+
+MATT: The closest gator? Okay then. Let me pull it
+up here. That’s a–
+
+TALIESIN: Wisdom save?
+
+MATT: Enthrall. That’s probably a bard spell.
+
+Enthrall. All right. You weave a
+distracting string of words (mumbles).
+
+TRAVIS: Enthrall.
+
+MATT: It has advantage on the save because you
+guys have attacked it.
+
+TALIESIN: I haven’t attacked that one yet. Oh,
+you’re right. Yes, of course.
+
+TRAVIS: What if it’s not successful attacks?
+
+MATT: That’s a two plus zero. That is an eight
+plus zero.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think so.
+
+MATT: I don’t think it makes it, actually. You’re
+really lucky.
+
+TALIESIN: Is eight my save on wisdom?
+
+MATT: What’s your spell DC? It should say. Is it
+charisma-based?
+
+TALIESIN: It says wisdom, but I don’t know.
+
+MATT: It’s a wisdom save, but is the ability
+your racial ability?
+
+TALIESIN: No, yeah it’s a racial ability.
+
+MATT: Yeah, then it’s charisma-based, because all
+of them are, so it’s DC ten. It still succeeds,
+
+actually. It rolled really poorly. So the creature
+has disadvantage to perceive any creatures other
+
+than you until the spell ends.
+
+SAM: It has disadvantage to perceive?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. It ain’t going to eat. It means
+it’s going to pay attention to me and only me.
+
+LAURA: That’s wonderful. Oh no.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. I’m sitting. I’m spinning my
+sword and talking in–
+
+LAURA: In gator.
+
+TALIESIN: (Infernal voice)
+
+MATT: It seems to have paid attention. I mean, it
+senses all of your presence, but it’s focused on
+
+you. If any of you are trying to get around
+stealthily, it’s going to have a hard time
+
+noticing you. That ends your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+MATT: All righty. Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Am I able to have enough movement to get
+on this stumpy stump?
+
+MATT: You can get up to here, I’d say, if you move
+at the same pace. That’s your movement. You have
+
+your action and your bonus still.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think I’m– I’m not within 60
+feet of any of them, am I? No, I guess I am to
+
+throw a thing. Can I use my bonus to move a little
+bit further onto the top of this tree?
+
+MATT: If you want to spend a ki point to do your
+step of the wind.
+
+MARISHA: My step of the wind? I can’t get within
+range of them with my step of the wind though, right?
+
+MATT: Almost.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck. God damn it.
+
+MATT: Although if you aren’t moving towards that
+tree and you move there instead–
+
+MARISHA: If I move straight?
+
+MATT: No, that’s still the same. Yeah, just out of
+range.
+
+LIAM: Get them ninja stars out.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I’m going to ninja star for my main
+attack and if I can– I don’t know if I can– I
+
+can’t move on my bonus, can I?
+
+MATT: You can if you spend a ki point.
+
+MARISHA: Only if I move a ki point. Right. Nah,
+fuck it. Ninja star.
+
+MATT: All right. Go for it. You get two at the
+creature.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. That’s a 20 for the first one.
+
+MATT: 20 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, and a natural 19 for the second one.
+
+MATT: Both hit. Roll damage on each.
+
+MARISHA: These are 1d4s, right?
+
+LIAM: They’re darts. I think they’re homebrewed
+darts.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I think it’s 1d4. For the first
+one, that’s seven. For the second one, that’s
+
+five. Gambit style!
+
+TRAVIS: Total armpit throw.
+
+MATT: As you throw them both, they (whoosh whoosh)
+and it’s like (low growl) and it opens its jaws.
+
+MARISHA: I point at Percy and I go, “He did it!”
+Oh, I called him Percy! I think that’s the first
+
+time I’ve done that!
+
+LIAM: I think that’s the first time any of us have
+ever done that.
+
+MARISHA: I point at Molly. He did it.
+
+LIAM: (as Grog) He did it!
+
+MARISHA: Aw! I miss Percy.
+
+LIAM: (sings) Light the corner of my mind.
+
+MATT: That end your guys’ turns. Jester, you’re
+up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Oh, god! Can I climb up on this tree
+right in front of me?
+
+MATT: Right here?
+
+LAURA: For my move, yeah.
+
+MATT: Sure. Make an athletics check.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh boy. Don’t fall.
+
+LAURA: I was so afraid it was going to be a one.
+16.
+
+MATT: Sure, let me put you up there in the tree.
+
+LAURA: Okay, good! I’m going to cast
+Blindness/Deafness at level three on both of the–
+
+MATT: At level three, a different target.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool!
+
+MATT: That’s pretty great. What’s the wisdom save
+on that?
+
+SAM: Blind or deaf?
+
+LAURA: It’s both.
+
+LIAM: What’s that spell do?
+
+LAURA: Blindness/Deafness.
+
+MATT: Wisdom save?
+
+LAURA: It’s a con save.
+
+MATT: Con save. All right.
+
+LAURA: Either blinded or deafened.
+
+MATT: A 19 on that one.
+
+LAURA: Okay, shit.
+
+MATT: He succeeds. That’s a 14 on the other.
+
+That one, however, is blinded.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, he’s blind.
+
+MATT: You watch as, all of a sudden, the eyes
+darken and it begins to (snarls), flailing about,
+
+unable to actually make a bead on where any of you
+are at the moment.
+
+LAURA: He’s got a disadvantage on his attack
+rolls? Is that what it is?
+
+MATT: Yep, and advantage on attack rolls against
+it.
+
+LAURA: That’s good. Okay. Then I’m going to use
+my spiritual weapon to come up behind the other
+
+gator and smack him on the back!
+
+MATT: Boop! Go for it.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Someday, I’m going to know what I’m
+doing.
+
+MATT: That’s not concentration, correct?
+
+LAURA: No. Spiritual Weapon is just up.
+
+MATT: Just lasts for a minute?
+
+LAURA: Oh, Blindness/Deafness?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Blindness/Deafness is not concentration.
+Yeah, it’s just a minute.
+
+TALIESIN: Just a minute of pain.
+
+MATT: At the end of each of its turns, it can make
+a constitution saving throw. Good to know.
+
+LAURA: Plus seven to hit. That’s 23.
+
+MATT: That hits! Roll damage.
+
+LAURA: Okie-dokie. That is eight damage.
+
+MATT: Nice. Your lollipop slams into the back of
+that distant alligator, but it’s still right there
+
+with the unconscious creature in front of it,
+starting to figure out where to keep its focus. It
+
+seems hungry, but it’s also being assaulted. That
+ends Jester’s turn. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. How close can I get to the–
+
+MATT: Movement will get you up to there.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit. Okay. Well, I would like to rage.
+Get that fired up.
+
+MATT: Okay. Your vision goes faintly dark red as
+you begin to focus your frustration towards these
+
+creatures. What do you do?
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, I can’t move anymore, so–
+
+MATT: You can use your action to move, if you want
+to.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, yeah. Yes.
+
+MATT: At least it’ll get you into the fray. That’s
+as close as you can get there.
+
+ASHLEY: All right. That’s my turn.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I think that I see one of the giant gators
+is getting close to Nott and also Yasha, so I’m
+
+going to tug really hard on the Glove of Blasting
+and revolve around my wrist three times and use
+
+Scorching Ray.
+
+MATT: Scorching Ray. Go for it. Roll three attacks
+on it, right?
+
+LIAM: Edubation. Say again?
+
+MATT: How many rays is it? Three rays?
+
+LIAM: Three attacks, advantage against the target,
+correct?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: First one is a 17.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Second one is a natural 20.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+LIAM: Third one is a 17. So they all hit.
+
+MATT: They all hit. Second set of rolls is
+doubled.
+
+LIAM: Ja. Here we go. Dang it! Total of 21 fire
+damage.
+
+MATT: Nice! Not bad at all. Looking up at the
+distance, you tug on the glove and release as
+
+these three bolts arc out and slam into the rather
+broad side of this reptilian creature, this large
+
+crocodile that’s now–
+
+LAURA: Was that the one that is–
+
+MATT: Blinded.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Ja. Then I will keep wading through the
+shit, try to get a little bit closer.
+
+MATT: Okay. With that, you get to about there.
+
+LIAM: And say, “Hey! Fjord, isn’t this fun?” And
+that’s it.
+
+MATT: Ending Caleb’s turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Because that gator is blind, does that mean
+it counts as sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+SAM: Okay. Then I will bolt, bolt, bolt.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Three attacks. They all hit. 19, 15, 13, plus
+things
+
+LIAM: But what if you get a natural 20? Roll
+again, in case you get 20’s.
+
+SAM: I’ll roll again. Sure.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, he did!
+
+LIAM: We got a natural 20.
+
+SAM: One of them is a natural 20.
+
+MATT: You got to roll them in order, though,
+because you don’t know if the one that got sneak
+
+attack is. You have to declare that when it
+happens.
+
+SAM: They all get sneak attack.
+
+MATT: Well, you only get sneak attack once per
+round.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay. Got it. Well, it was the second
+one.
+
+MATT: Second one got crit.
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: Right. So the first one would’ve been sneak
+attack.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: First strike–
+
+SAM: –is 17 plus four, 21. Plus I’ll use Fury of
+the Small, making it 26.
+
+MARISHA: How often do you get to add that?
+
+SAM: Just once a day. Then second does not get
+sneak attack? Even though it’s at disadvantage.
+
+MATT: Sneak attack, you only get once per turn.
+Not per round, per turn. So you can still get it
+
+on a reaction.
+
+SAM: Six, but that’s doubled?
+
+MATT: Whatever you rolled on the dice, doubled.
+
+SAM: Four, so eight. Eight for that one.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage.
+
+SAM: Then one more. That’s ten.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage. This poor gator turned
+around, went blind, got shot multiple times,
+
+blasted with fiery beams.
+
+SAM: It still can’t stop thinking about Mollymauk,
+though.
+
+MATT: No, it’s just so focused on him. That ends
+your turn?
+
+SAM: I’m going to move behind that rock over
+there. (yelping) That’s it.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. It is now the crocs’
+turns. (counts movement) It actually climbs up the
+
+rock after you, (stomping) and then goes and takes
+a swipe down at you.
+
+LIAM: +2 on your AC.
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: That is 23 to hit.
+
+SAM: Damn it. Sure.
+
+MATT: With that, 3d10 plus five.
+
+TRAVIS: 3d10 plus five?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It’s a large set of jaws.
+
+SAM: I’m going to be using Uncanny Dodge for the
+first time.
+
+MATT: 21 points of piercing damage, halved. You
+take ten points of piercing damage, but you are
+
+grappled as the giant jaws slam into you and hold
+you in place. You’re unable to escape at that point.
+
+SAM: (yelping) We’re both reptiles, man! Come on!
+Be cool!
+
+LAURA: Are goblins reptiles?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. Maybe he’s dumb.
+
+MARISHA: See, now I’m getting Little Mermaid
+vibes, though, from the gator. (singing) Up where
+
+they walk, up where they run, up where they stay
+all day in the sun.
+
+MATT: It’s going to take a swing with its tail
+towards you as it’s flailing about, hearing noise
+
+in that direction. It has disadvantage against
+you. That’s 22 and 12. That misses in the first
+
+attack as its tail goes wide. It turns around and
+snaps its jaws towards the tree and scrapes off
+
+the side of the tree and swings in your direction,
+as it attempts to bite towards you. That’s going
+
+to be a 14. What’s your armor class?
+
+ASHLEY: Just hits.
+
+MATT: 14’s your armor class? That’s right. You
+have the jaws slam onto you. You suffer 18 points
+
+of piercing damage, but because you’re raging,
+that’s reduced to nine. You get nine points of
+
+piercing damage, but you are grappled and
+restrained currently, as you are now trapped in
+
+its jaws. You watch as Nott’s hands are dangling
+out of its toothy jaws, it’s swinging her in the
+
+air. Yasha is lifted up off her feet and is
+currently trying to pry the jaws open off of her
+
+body, but is unable to do so. Death saving throw
+for the creature. That’s a failure. Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott’s all caught up. I say: Crap. Fire.
+And two more bursts of Eldritch Blast to the gator
+
+holding Nott.
+
+MATT: Holding Nott? Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’ll hit. That’s 23.
+
+MATT: That’ll do.
+
+TRAVIS: And the second one. That’ll hit, too.
+That’s a natural 17.
+
+MATT: You got it.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great. 12 points of damage on the
+first one, and six points of damage on the second
+
+one, so 18 total.
+
+MATT: Nice. As you release the two bolts, they manage
+to peek around the tree, see it grasping Nott in
+
+its jaws and swinging her back and forth. One hits
+the bottom of the jaw, and the other hits its
+
+side. You see this little splatter of dark crimson
+alligator blood from the two impacts, but it’s
+
+still holding taut to this tiny little morsel it
+has in its jaws.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use my pathetic speed to try and match
+Caleb.
+
+MATT: All right. Want to move Caleb up for me,
+Beau? Somebody?
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, or Fjord?
+
+MATT: I’m sorry. Meant to say Fjord to Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, this is so much fun. I’m glad we are
+helping this random-ass penguin.
+
+MATT: At least you guys have range. That brings us to the
+top again. Molly and Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: You want to go first?
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+MARISHA: Can I get to this guy who’s got Nott?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to parkour off.
+
+MATT: That is a 16 on the saving throw for the
+blind crocodile, so it does resist the blindness.
+
+Its vision comes back. However, it fucked it up for a
+round. Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do a parkour off of the rock
+and come down and try and get it right in its
+
+mouth to try and get it to spit out Nott. So the
+first attack. That’s good. That’s a 21.
+
+MATT: 21 hits.
+
+MARISHA: That’s better. That’s 22.
+
+MATT: That hits. With two strikes with the staff.
+
+MARISHA: Spit it out! Both of those are the same,
+which is seven.
+
+MATT: Seven damage each? So 14? Cool. It’s 14
+points of damage with the two strikes?
+
+MARISHA: Uh-huh.
+
+MATT: Slamming into the side of its heavy, thick,
+scaled hide. It’s hurting, but it’s definitely a
+
+resistant beast.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend a ki point now to do
+two more, flurry of blows.
+
+MATT: You pull your staff behind and then you go
+to a punch and a dropkick.
+
+MARISHA: That’s an 18, and they just keep getting
+better.
+
+MATT: Way to go. That hits.
+
+MARISHA: And that one’s not great. That’s worse.
+That’s a 12.
+
+MATT: 12 misses, unfortunately, but you do get
+one punch off. After slamming it twice, you go for
+
+the softer part and whack!
+
+MARISHA: You know what? I rolled the wrong damage
+die for those first two, but that’s my fault. Six
+
+damage. I rolled d6s instead of d8s.
+
+MATT: Oh, gotcha, but there you go.
+
+MARISHA: That gator got lucky.
+
+LAURA: Why don’t you take off the damage you did
+and reroll as eights?
+
+TRAVIS: Because that’s how the cookie crumbles.
+
+MATT: Okay. Moving on. That’s fine. It’s okay.
+It’s still a fair amount of damage. Molly, what
+
+are you doing?
+
+TALIESIN: With my running speed, how close can I
+get and still have an action?
+
+MATT: That’s it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s as far as I can get without an
+action?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you guys are running through
+a swamp behind who engaged it, so it’s an
+
+unfortunate circumstance.
+
+TALIESIN: At the very least, then, I’m going to–
+
+MATT: Fortune favors the bold in this case.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. Since I still have some distance,
+I’m going to try some Vicious Mockery to see if
+
+that does anything. The one–
+
+TRAVIS: Please Schwarzenegger it with, “You’re
+luggage.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m curious what that’s going to sound
+like. I’ll hit the Vicious Mockery on the one that
+
+currently has Nott, just because–
+
+MATT: Sure. That is a natural 19.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, no. (Infernal coughing)
+
+MATT: A swamp bug goes into your throat as you’re
+trying speak it, and you have to cough it out for
+
+a second. That finishes Molly’s run. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to Invoke Duplicity as my
+action, and I’m going to pop my little person down
+
+right behind the other side of the gator that
+Yasha’s fighting, yes. Then for my bonus action,
+
+I’m going to cast Healing Word on the little bird
+creature.
+
+MATT: Okay. Roll to heal on that one. It’s within
+range.
+
+LAURA: That’s six.
+
+MATT: Six points of healing. You watch as
+suddenly, its yellow eye flickers and looks around
+
+for a second and it begins to push against the
+slickness.
+
+LAURA: My invoked Jester turns around and thumbs
+ups to it.
+
+MATT: It looks at it. (bird croaking) It begins to
+try and pull its way back out of the bog. It’s
+
+getting stuck and sliding in, but it’s trying to
+pull itself backward. That’s your turn, Jester.
+
+LAURA: That’s all I can do.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I’m in the jaws.
+
+MATT: In its jaws. So you are restrained. You can
+still attack it, but you’re at disadvantage on all
+
+your attacks.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I will try to attack. Divine fury,
+and if I do reckless, does that mean–
+
+MATT: If you reckless, it’ll become regular
+attacks.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll do that.
+
+MATT: All right. Make your two strikes. First one
+with divine fury as you swing down towards the top
+
+of its jaws with your blade.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a natural one.
+
+MATT: As you go to swing, the jaws tense against
+you and (groans) it hurts and all your muscles tense
+
+from the pain, but you stay focused going for your
+second strike.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Sorry, hold on. Oh wait, no, I’m
+doing this one. 17.
+
+MATT: 17 does hit, roll damage. This still gets
+divine fury though, because it’s the first strike
+
+that you hit with.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s the first strike, okay.
+
+SAM: Man, this is exciting.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so eight–
+
+SAM: That’s not enough.
+
+TALIESIN: (Infernal voice) Crocodile Dundee.
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 points of damage. How do you want to do
+this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: You guys have been plugging everything into
+this one croc since the beginning of the battle.
+
+ASHLEY: Am I actually able to– If I have my hand
+on his jaws, just pull them apart.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can because you’re inside of it.
+
+ASHLEY: Open the jaw, just stand.
+
+MATT: You pull yourself, you pull the jaws open
+and step out of it, getting your feet on the
+
+ground as you yank apart. You put your leg up into
+it and (snapping). You feel the jaw pop. It falls
+
+back for a moment, its jaw now limp and its tongue
+lolling out to one side. You have your blade and
+
+you do the finishing blow.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Oh, I mean describe to me the finishing
+blow.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, finishing blow.
+
+MATT: Breaking its jaw isn’t going to kill it. So
+how do you kill it?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll try to chop off the head as
+much as I can.
+
+MATT: Okay. After breaking the jaw you step out,
+pull the blade from behind you and with a wide swipe,
+
+like an anti-cavalry blow, you cut through the
+side of its throat and neck. It doesn’t get all
+
+the way through, but it cuts enough through the
+spine where it falls to the ground. This long,
+
+heavy, limp piece of luggage. We’ll leave that
+there for its size, though. You going to stay
+
+where you are? You want to move? Because you still
+have movement, you’ve been released from its jaws.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, can I move towards the back of the
+other one? In front of Jester; in between the croc
+
+and Jester.
+
+MATT: That’s as far as you can get. Well, you can
+get there, actually.
+
+ASHLEY: Perfect. Yeah, perfect.
+
+MATT: Okay. That ends your turn. Yasha’s finished.
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Ja, it seems like I’m– can I get within
+30 feet of it? No, correct? I would think probably not.
+
+MATT: Moving your speed will get you right up to
+the edge there, so it’s just out of 30 feet.
+
+LIAM: Just out of 30 feet.
+
+MATT: Sorry.
+
+LIAM: I am going to cast Magic Missile at level
+three because he’s got my little friend.
+
+MATT: That’s five missiles?
+
+LIAM: That is five missiles total. Here we go.
+
+MATT: Trudging through the swamp, cast the spell,
+and then release. The five missiles all impacting
+
+at once.
+
+MARISHA: Well, wow.
+
+LAURA: Nice, nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20 on that.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Broken clock.
+
+LIAM: Total of 18, so (firing noises).
+
+MATT: Along its side of it, it’s still holding
+Nott in its mouth, and Nott’s muffled screaming
+
+from inside of its jaws as it swings her back and
+forth. It seems singularly focused on destroying
+
+whatever it has its mouth on. It’s a beast. That
+finishes your turn, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: (yelling) Disappointed!
+
+MATT: Nott, it’s your turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh gosh, Nott.
+
+SAM: I use my first action to try and resist the
+grapple and escape.
+
+MATT: I need you to contest it. It’s an escape DC
+of 16; it’s athletics or acrobatics, your choice.
+
+SAM: (stuttering)
+
+LAURA: Acrobatics.
+
+SAM: Yes, whatever’s– yes, Acrobatics.
+
+MATT: Make the check.
+
+SAM: Ooh, 18.
+
+MATT: 18 is enough. You manage to just squeeze out
+of its jaws and land back on the ground where you
+
+are, slipping out a brief moment of its opening
+and get there. There’s blood streaked down, you
+
+can feel the pain from the teeth that have been
+digging into your body.
+
+SAM: Is it engaged with Beau? Can I get a sneak
+attack on it?
+
+MATT: It would, yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay, great. I will shoot it in the face. Ooh,
+not great. 12.
+
+MATT: 12 misses. You pull out, and from being
+shaken around you’re a bit dizzy and the pain
+
+swelters in your body, and as you go to fire it
+ricochets off of its hide.
+
+LIAM: Is he flanked with Yasha?
+
+MATT: Right now?
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+SAM: What’s that mean?
+
+LIAM: Advantage.
+
+MATT: Technically, yes actually.
+
+LIAM: Roll again.
+
+SAM: Cool.
+
+TALIESIN: Good man.
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+MATT: 17 does hit, roll damage.
+
+SAM: Oh wow. Okay, that’s a hit. Ooh, they’re all
+bad. 12.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage, sneak attack. The first
+strike hits underneath the throat, slips into a
+
+piece of its already open, cracked, heavy hide and
+it– (growls).
+
+SAM: If that was one side of the throat, I’ll go
+for the other side. Oh, terrible, 11.
+
+LAURA: But you still get advantage because you
+flanked!
+
+SAM: Oh, still advantage, or that’s just once a
+turn?
+
+MATT: It’s advantage on every strike.
+
+SAM: Oh, wow, okay. That hits! That’s an 18.
+
+MATT: That’s better, roll damage for that one.
+This rollercoaster, the emotions.
+
+LIAM: It’s like the Simpsons Frogurt scene.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+SAM: Five more points of damage.
+
+MATT: Five points of damage.
+
+MARISHA: Question, would this trigger my reaction
+for Sentinel?
+
+MATT: No, because it’s not attacking anything
+that’s outside of you.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+SAM: But it might in a second, because I’m going
+to run behind that tree.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, okay! That’s good to know. Oh, this
+is Nott’s turn.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: No worries.
+
+SAM: I’m going to get away. Get away as fast and
+as far as I can.
+
+MATT: Away from over here?
+
+SAM: Sure. Any way you think it won’t see me.
+
+MATT: That’s as far as you can get right there. It
+does try and snatch its jaws towards you in the
+
+process. That’s a natural 20.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+SAM: That hits.
+
+TALIESIN: God damn it.
+
+TRAVIS: Roll it and be proud. Ooh!
+
+MATT: That’s an eight, nine, and a five.
+
+SAM: I will use my–
+
+LAURA: Oh, you get Uncanny Dodge again?
+
+MATT: 23 plus five. 28 points of piercing damage.
+
+SAM: Wait, can I use Uncanny Dodge again because
+it’s gone around?
+
+MATT: You can use it once per round, yeah.
+
+SAM: Yeah, uncanny dodge to make it 14.
+
+MATT: 14 points of piercing damage, however, you
+are grappled in its jaws.
+
+SAM: (yelling) Again? I just got out!
+
+MATT: I know, but as you try and break away–
+We’re talking like Deep Blue Sea, Samuel L.
+
+Jackson. As you run away the jaws grab and pull
+you back and you’re being held and shaken again.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+MARISHA: Now do I get that opportunity attack?
+
+MATT: Now you do, yes.
+
+LIAM: Oh, just when I think I’m out, they pull me
+back in.
+
+MATT: As it strikes out and grapples Nott in the
+jaws, you do manage to get one swing at it.
+
+MARISHA: I whack it right in the nose, because
+that’s what I was taught with bears. I go: No!
+
+SAM and LAURA: Sharks, and bears.
+
+MATT: A lot of sharks in Kamordah, it’s a thing.
+
+MARISHA: They’re all the same, in the nose.
+Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Oh, shit! Roll some damage on that.
+
+MARISHA: Be high! Okay! 12 damage?
+
+LIAM: Sure.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage, all right. Crack! You
+hit it right across the snout, and upon the impact
+
+its eyes go dazed for a second but it continues to
+chew. It’s still standing. That finishes Nott’s
+
+turn? All right. The one standing croc is going to
+drop Nott out of its jaws–
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s nice of him.
+
+MATT: And attempt to bite again.
+
+TALIESIN: Blood Curse of the Eyeless, amplified.
+
+MATT: Curse of the Eyeless amplified. Actually
+before it bites, it’s going to swing with its
+
+tail. It’s going to spin around and attempt to
+slam you with its tail. That’s disadvantage on
+
+that strike. That’s cocked. Cocked again.
+Disadvantage. Even with disadvantage that’s a 20.
+
+SAM: Yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: The tail hits you. That’s 2d8.
+
+TRAVIS: No, no, no. Shame on you DM. No more.
+
+LIAM: This one, not this one.
+
+MATT: That’s 18 points of bludgeoning damage.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+SAM: Out.
+
+MATT You are knocked prone and it’s going to try
+and bite you. That’s what it was doing on its turn.
+
+TALIESIN: Disadvantage.
+
+MATT: I know. But it has advantage on a prone
+creature.
+
+LAURA: So it’s even.
+
+TRAVIS: Regular roll.
+
+ALL: (to the tune of “Breaking the Law”) Regular
+roll, regular roll.
+
+MATT: That’s a 17 to hit, what’s your armor
+class?
+
+SAM: It’s 18 now.
+
+LIAM: Yes!
+
+SAM: Because of the Haste, but I don’t know, I’m
+dead. Do I have Haste if I’m unconscious?
+
+LAURA: But he’s the one that cast–
+
+LIAM: But does an unmoving body move?
+
+MATT: I’m going to make a quick call here.
+
+SAM: You’re calling someone?
+
+MATT: No. I’m calling Jeremy Crawford to
+confirmation.
+
+MARISHA: He’s going to phone a friend, but in the
+case the friend is Nathan Stewart. “Hey, Chris Perkins?”
+
+LIAM: (Regis Philbin imitation) Would you like to
+phone a WotC friend?
+
+TALIESIN: If you were just prone, he would still
+have it, so if the spell is still active.
+
+LIAM: Matthew Mercer. How do you want to do this?
+
+SAM: The spell is active because it makes you
+faster.
+
+MATT: I know, it’s still active by rules as
+written, I guess.
+
+LIAM: Maybe she’s vibrating on the ground. Like
+when a pager goes off.
+
+MATT: Yeah, spells end when they say they end.
+
+SAM: This feels wrong. Do it, just do it, I’ll
+take it.
+
+MATT: You don’t want to. You don’t want to take
+it. Well hold on.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s looking at the Great Wall. He rarely
+references the Great Wall.
+
+MATT: Rarely references the Great Wall? No, that’s
+a 17 still, so with the Haste bonus, that would
+
+still miss yeah. So here’s what happens. As you
+fall unconscious–
+
+SAM: I don’t feel right about this.
+
+MATT: As you fall unconscious, your form is
+blurring slightly from the impact, and as you
+
+tumble, and it goes to strike and bite you, you’re
+tumbling backward at such a speed, still under the
+
+effect of the spell carrying you, that you fall
+out of grasp of its jaws as you spin and spill out
+
+of its mouth as the teeth clamp. Plummeting to the
+ground. Not taking a critical hit and immediately
+
+failing two death saving throws.
+
+LIAM: Good narration DM. Good narration.
+
+SAM: I even die fast.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah this is low level, there wouldn’t
+really be much bringing you back.
+
+That’d be the end of it.
+
+LAURA: I have Revivify.
+
+MATT: Do you have any 300 gold diamonds?
+
+LAURA: I have lots of rings, do any of them have
+diamonds in them?
+
+MATT: Not worth 300 gold.
+
+LAURA: How dare you!
+
+MATT: I’m just saying, you got to buy your spell
+components.
+
+LAURA: I thought if I had my symbol of the
+Traveler!
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LAURA: I’ve never done this before.
+
+MATT: Laura. It’s okay. Components that cost
+money, you have to purchase,
+
+like his diamond and his incense.
+
+LIAM: Ja, hallo.
+
+LAURA: Do you have a diamond that’s worth 300
+gold?
+
+LIAM: It’s worth 100, which is what I need for my
+spell, ja.
+
+TALIESIN: Not three.
+
+LAURA: Don’t die anyone, don’t die. I thought I
+could bring you back. Why do I have that stupid
+
+spell prepared if I can’t even use it?
+
+TRAVIS and MATT: That’s a good question.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the chalice dilemma.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Hero’s Feast with the chalices.
+
+MATT: Well, that finishes the croc’s turn. As the
+Haste spell snatches Nott from the jaws of almost
+
+imminent death, Fjord you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I fucking see Nott fucking ragdolling all
+over the place. I’ll use the rest of my speed to
+
+get as close as I can.
+
+MATT: That gets you up onto the battlefield
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: Does that put me within 30 feet of that
+croc?
+
+MATT: It puts you within 35 feet, it’s just out of
+30 foot range.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m 35 feet away?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, fuck me.
+
+LIAM: Ain’t you got no long range?
+
+MATT: Sometimes it doesn’t help to lag.
+
+TRAVIS: I just wanted to a little Witch Bolt. Two
+more Eldritch Blasts going at it.
+
+MATT: Go for it, roll for the attacks.
+
+TRAVIS: That is a 16 to hit.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh great, I thought it missed. That’s not
+going to do it, that’s 13.
+
+MATT: 13 just misses.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s ten plus four for 14 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: Look at you.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll look at that nice piece of luggage
+and I’ll say: Nott today.
+
+(groaning)
+
+SAM: I just failed two death saves from that pun.
+
+LAURA: He literally marked them off.
+
+MATT: Both of the impacts of the Eldritch Blasts
+hit it, it’s still up on the rock after snatching
+
+its jaw in the air and missing Nott as she tumbles
+out of it, the head comes down and turns towards
+
+you. As its jaws open, both– up into the throat.
+You watch as the back of its head bursts behind
+
+it. Its eyes go dull before it slumps over the
+rock and it slowly slides into the edge of the
+
+swamp nearby.
+
+SAM: You got the kill? You were barely in the
+fight!
+
+LAURA: No, he totally came! He’s good, he’s a
+hero! Can I use my invoked Jester, my duplicate,
+
+to run over to Nott? She can move 30 feet.
+
+MATT: She can, yeah.
+
+LAURA: It wouldn’t be encumbered because–
+
+MATT: She’s an illusion. Correct. Here, in this
+instance, the illusion would not, I don’t think,
+
+be affected by the rough terrain.
+
+LAURA: Wonderful, I’m going to cast Cure Wounds on
+you.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+LAURA: At, you know–
+
+SAM: The lowest level possible.
+
+LAURA: At second level. We’re about to get a rest,
+it seems stupid to– oh, it’s cocked. Five plus
+
+four. No. It would be plus four, plus four? No,
+it’s 2d8 plus four.
+
+MATT: Correct, at 2nd-level.
+
+LAURA: Okay yeah, nine.
+
+MATT: That heals you up there, you come to
+consciousness, Nott.
+
+SAM: That was scary, I should not have been this
+close. Where were you? I was doing everything up there!
+
+TRAVIS: Look, look, I’m up to my fucking knees in
+this quagmire, all right? It’s a slop dolly of
+
+epic proportions!
+
+SAM: A slop dolly?!
+
+LAURA: Can I jump down and walk over to the little
+bird creature?
+
+TRAVIS: Fucking Kentucky knows what I’m talking
+about.
+
+SAM: What’s a slop dolly?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re in it!
+
+LAURA: You guys!
+
+MATT: You guys take a moment, finish yelling at
+each other. Jester has jumped down from the tree,
+
+calls your attention. There, still struggling in
+the marsh, you see the small, black feathered bird
+
+creature. And we’re going to take a break because
+it’s 9:14, so let’s take a quick break. We’ll pick
+
+up right at that moment in a few moments. I’m
+going to sit down because I can do that right now.
+
+We’ll be back here in just a moment, guys. We do
+have our Wyrmwood giveaway for the evening. We
+
+have, what is it, kalimantan ebony tabletop dice
+tray. This is the pretty awesome dark wood with
+
+the leather in it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yes.
+
+MATT: This one is gorgeous. That one is going to
+be there for one of our winners during the break.
+
+For those of you who are in the US and Canada,
+except for Quebec, you can enter this over the
+
+break, by coming into the Twitch chat and entering
+the word “Marsh.” Only enter it once, more than
+
+once and you’ll be disqualified and we’ll come
+back with a winner as soon as we return. See you
+
+guys in a minute.
+
+MATT: And welcome back everybody. Before we get
+back into the game, we have the winner of our
+
+fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway from the break:
+akpresto. Akpresto, congratulations, you won the
+
+awesome, awesome-wood-full game dice tray from
+Wyrmwood. We’ll get that to you ASAP, thank you
+
+for coming in and everybody else who jumped into
+the chat.
+
+MARISHA: It smells a little like tuna, and that’s
+not me, though.
+
+MATT: That’s disgusting.
+
+LAURA: Ew!
+
+TRAVIS: You can’t burp and then try to blame the
+smell on somebody else.
+
+MARISHA: I’m telling you.
+
+LAURA: That’s really foul.
+
+LIAM: Out of context quotes.
+
+MATT: Guys!
+
+SAM: Oh, sorry Matt, is there something you’d like
+to discuss with the table?
+
+MATT: Yeah!
+
+LIAM: A purple worm erupts from the middle of the
+floor–
+
+MATT: Don’t tempt me. You guys all take a moment,
+tend to your exhaustion from plunging into this
+
+swamp haphazardly, some of you taking quite a
+beating in the process. Jester guides your
+
+attention to this now struggling small bird
+creature. It looks to be about the size of a an
+
+adolescent child, maybe no more than– well, let’s
+say a little younger than that, maybe like an
+
+eight or nine year old. But instead of skin, it’s
+just black feathers. No wings really, the feathers
+
+are too small among the arm to actually be
+flight-ready. The lower half of its body is still
+
+sunken and thick in the bog. It has, where its
+face is, two bright yellow eyes, very crow,
+
+raven-like eyes and a long black pointed beak. And
+(scared bird croaking).
+
+LAURA: Don’t worry! I can help you.
+
+MATT: (scared chirping)
+
+LAURA: Give me your hands.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Oh! I lift it up out.
+
+MATT: Make a strength check
+
+SAM: Arms. Out of sockets.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is watching all this.
+
+LAURA: 20.
+
+MATT: 20. With just a few moments, though your
+legs sink in a bit, you manage to pull, find
+
+leverage, grab onto some of the heavy vines on the
+side, and you manage to pull this creature out
+
+from the bog, until eventually it gets its legs
+free, and as it pulls its way up to the top, it
+
+begins to shrug off the thick bog slop that was
+keeping it stuck there in the center of the opening.
+
+MARISHA: It is a bird person.
+
+LAURA: Right?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Can you understand us?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh! Do you live around here?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Do you live around here?”
+
+(gasping)
+
+ASHLEY: It’s like a mockingjay.
+
+LAURA: What is your name?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+SAM: Maybe it was separated from its parents or
+something?
+
+LAURA: Maybe. Are you an adult or are you a kid?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “A kid.”
+
+LAURA: A kid.
+
+ASHLEY: I love him!
+
+LIAM: I could, it would take an hour, but I could
+understand this one, if I set my mind to it.
+
+ASHLEY: You could get a rest.
+
+SAM: Where do you live?
+
+MATT: (chirping) And points its still soggy,
+feathered arm, to the east.
+
+LAURA: Close by?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: How did you get here?
+
+MATT: (chirping). Looks towards you, and starts
+walking up towards you, pulls open your coat.
+
+Starts rummaging through, pulls one of the
+books–
+
+LIAM: Oh! No. No, please. No, please, no.
+
+MATT: (like Caleb) “Please no.”
+
+LIAM: I’m going to pull my coat shut.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you should learn how to speak to him.
+
+SAM: Maybe it wants some paper.
+
+TALIESIN: Where’s your book?
+
+LAURA: Oh! Can you write?
+
+LIAM: Or does he want to draw.
+
+LAURA: I pull out my journal.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a theory.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe he only repeats what we say.
+
+MATT: Begins to write into the book, and shows it
+to you. It says, “Thank you.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, you’re welcome so much! How old are
+you? What’s your name?
+
+MATT: It says “four,” the number four. The name is
+“Kiri.”
+
+LAURA and SAM: Kiri?
+
+LAURA: Kiri, you’re four years old?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: That’s so wonderful.
+
+TALIESIN: What were you doing here? What is this
+place?
+
+MATT: Begins writing out an extended statement in
+the paper. Puts out to you and it says; “Family
+
+"going west. Traveling. Escaping east mountains.
+Skies go dark there. Father said the valley folk fighting.”
+
+LAURA: They are. There’s a big fight going on.
+
+ASHLEY: Where’s your–
+
+MARISHA: How far have you traveled? Do you
+recognize people that look like her?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Where is your family now?
+
+MATT: (sad chirping)
+
+LAURA: Oh no, no, no! Are your Momma & Dad okay?
+No?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: You don’t know where they went? How did you
+get separated?
+
+MATT: Begins writing another small essay, in the
+book.
+
+LAURA: We should keep an eye out. To make sure no
+more of those things come out.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll keep an eye out.
+
+ASHLEY: Same.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check. One of you. Take it
+with advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Matt seems adamant. That can’t be good.
+
+ASHLEY: We both roll, but–?
+
+MATT: One of you is aiding the other. Unless you
+want to make two separate rolls. It’s up to you.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s do two separate rolls.
+
+MATT: All right. Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys are keeping an eye out in the
+space around you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to peruse these ruins a little
+bit, see what they are and what they look like.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check. (chirp)
+Finishes writing and shows it over, it says,
+
+“Swamp was to hide us. Swamp folk saw us. So we
+ran to not be taken. I wasn’t watching and the bog
+
+"caught me. Family couldn’t pull free. Couldn’t
+risk sisters or selves, so kept going.”
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: “Stuck here for a while. Not their fault.
+Don’t want them to die for my carelessness.”
+
+Closes the book (chirps).
+
+LAURA: (sadly) We’ve got to get him to his family.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you know where they are heading?
+
+SAM: It’s a him?
+
+MATT: (chirps)
+
+LAURA: Oh, I don’t know. Are you a–
+
+SAM: A boy bird, or a girl bird, or just a bird
+bird?
+
+TALIESIN: A word bird.
+
+MATT: “Girl.”
+
+LAURA: Girl bird! Kiri! Oh no. How many sisters do
+you have?
+
+MATT: Puts up four fingers with long, exaggerated
+feathered fingertips.
+
+MARISHA: Would I recognize what species or race of
+people?
+
+MATT: You haven’t encountered these people before.
+
+LIAM: Empire kids wouldn’t know?
+
+MARISHA: Empire kids wouldn’t know? The whole
+studied thing?
+
+MATT: You’ve heard of various different strange
+races out there. Bird people may have crossed in a
+
+story before but– You’ve done a little bit of
+study. Make a nature check for you, Caleb, since
+
+you studied in this area, just general knowledge.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve never seen them before?
+
+LIAM and MATT: Natural 20.
+
+LIAM: Kenku.
+
+MATT: Kenku, yes, you know. They’re usually very
+removed. Location-wise, they usually exist on the
+
+far outskirts of the Empire if anywhere. They have
+small family units that live on their own. There
+
+isn’t so much of a kenku culture they belong to.
+They’re small little groups. They look out for themselves.
+
+LIAM: Like ravens, they are able to mimic many
+sounds.
+
+MATT: Correct. As part of their history, and you
+rolled a natural 20 so you know quite a bit,
+
+something in their lineage, there was a curse
+involved. Something based around the time of their
+
+creation, where their ability to converse was
+taken from them.
+
+LIAM: I mutter that to the group.
+
+LAURA: (quietly) Oh man.
+
+TRAVIS: Kiri, have you happened to see a safe
+house, or a building or a structure around while
+
+you were fleeing?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Where did you see the swamp people that you
+were talking about?
+
+MATT: She points in a northeastern direction.
+
+SAM: But your family went the other way? To the
+west?
+
+TRAVIS: The way we came from? We could always give
+her a horse–
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I was thinking.
+
+MATT: Writes on the page, spins it around, it says
+“Nowhere to go. Can I come with you?”
+
+LIAM: Are you able to handle yourself in a scrap?
+Are you good with a weapon, or–
+
+SAM: She’s four.
+
+LAURA: Well, you’re how old?
+
+SAM: I don’t really know, but I’m twice her age at
+least!
+
+LAURA: She’s got really good penmanship, so I
+don’t think she’s four like human four. Most
+
+four-year-olds can’t write like that.
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: Where we’re going is a bit dangerous, we
+should warn you.
+
+LIAM: To my question though, are you able to
+handle yourself in a dangerous moment in any way?
+
+MATT: Looks back at the bog, goes–
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+LIAM: A monk.
+
+TRAVIS: Fearsome.
+
+ASHLEY: Maybe we can keep her in the cart or
+something?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. If she stays with us at least until
+tomorrow, maybe I can send a message to your
+
+family and let them know you are okay.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I’m okay.”
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MATT: (Chirping)
+
+TRAVIS: I reach behind my belt and pull out a
+dagger and twirl it in my fingers, and hand it
+
+hilt towards Kiri. Careful, it’s sharp.
+
+MATT: (like Fjord) “It’s sharp.”
+
+MARISHA: It’s kind of creepy, man.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you have any more pocket bacon? Are you
+hungry?
+
+SAM: Oh, I have a pouch of things this one might
+like!
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah, you’ve got oats.
+
+SAM: I have dried corn and oats and things. Would
+you peck on these?
+
+MATT: Holding the dagger, she goes forward and
+starts pecking out of your hand.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay. Ow. Ow!
+
+LAURA: I have some pastries, too, if you like
+sweets.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey Caleb, you got a second?
+
+MATT: The head turns to you as well. Takes it.
+
+LIAM: Many seconds. What do you need?
+
+TALIESIN: Take a look at this. Do these mean
+anything to you? Just looking at the stone
+
+structures that are here.
+
+MATT: You rolled investigation?
+
+TALIESIN: I rolled an eight. They are stone.
+
+MATT: It looks like it’s very old and has long
+fallen over and has been absorbed mostly by the
+
+swamp. It doesn’t look like it was a large
+structure. Like it might have been a small, brief
+
+gatehouse off the path. Some sort of a watch post
+that had–
+
+LIAM: Since he brought me over, what do I make of
+the same?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That is a 25.
+
+MATT: Looking through it and making out the layout
+of it, it was definitely a post house for Berleben
+
+when it was first made. The stones look well over
+100 years old. They have long been reclaimed by
+
+the roots and vines of the swamp. Nothing special
+beyond that really. Just an abandoned post.
+
+LIAM: Just looks like a bunch of old crap, to be
+honest.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s disappointing. I kick it.
+
+MARISHA: Let me hold this dagger for just a
+moment.
+
+MATT: Hard grip on it.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give it back. I just want to test
+something.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s okay, Kiri.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, we’re just going to test your
+reflexes here.
+
+LAURA: Are you going to throw–
+
+MARISHA: No. A little sparring. Punch here, hit
+here. Can you– (punching sounds)
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Cure Wounds on her before
+she does this.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I just want to see before we give a
+dagger to a child.
+
+LAURA: Eight.
+
+MATT: Natural 20!
+
+MARISHA: To attack my hand? Okay.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You take two points of damage. You’re
+like, “Oh!” Not bad.
+
+LAURA: A natural 20 got two points of damage?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know if she needs a dagger. Here
+you go, child.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, whoa!
+
+MARISHA: We’re going to die first.
+
+LAURA: Should we cut open these giant gators and
+see what they have in their bellies?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s see if we can cut them and keep
+some of this leather. I bet it’s worth a little
+
+bit of money.
+
+LAURA: I take my axe and hit it in the belly!
+
+MATT: You begin to carve into the two crocodiles?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we’ll check the guts.
+
+MATT: Whoever is helming that, make a medicine
+check to understand what parts of the body are
+
+most delicate. To try and open it without–
+
+TALIESIN: Choose your weapon.
+
+LAURA: Ugh. Ten.
+
+MATT: It’ll take you the better part of the day to
+carve off enough of the hide to really be useful
+
+for trading. It’s a long process, These are big
+creatures. You begin to carve off some of its
+
+hide. None of you are experienced tanners, so it’s
+a lot of trial and error and sections of it
+
+tearing off prematurely. It’s a very messy
+process. Jester is like hand to elbow covered in blood.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there anything fun in the guts?
+
+MATT: Have you checked in its stomach? You find a
+lot of bones, a lot of partially digested meat,
+
+and a lot of black feathers.
+
+ALL: (dismayed) Oh!
+
+LIAM: Did Jester spend hours doing that?
+
+MATT: A while, yeah.
+
+LIAM: If she did, then Caleb would have spent one
+hour to cast Comprehend Languages as a ritual
+
+spell to talk to her, full on.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take a short rest, then, to get my
+ki points back?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LAURA: Can I realize that this was– Would I be
+able to tell from my medicine history that this is
+
+bird people?
+
+MATT: Looks to be, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Like, could you tell from the bones it’s a
+lot of bird people?
+
+MATT: Looks a handful.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MARISHA: That’s this kid’s parents.
+
+SAM: Oh, Beau, come on–
+
+ASHLEY: Probably the rest of the family, too.
+
+MARISHA: The cousins.
+
+ASHLEY: Might be the only one, she–
+
+LIAM: I’m going to walk Kiri away from this for
+the moment and say, after an hour has passed of me
+
+doing this ritual spell: For the moment, I can
+understand you as clearly as you can understand
+
+me. Do you want to tell me anything about your
+time in this swamp or what you want to do with
+
+yourself, now that you are alone or how we can
+best help you? Or anything you want to tell me.
+
+MATT: “I don’t know, I just want to get back to my
+family.”
+
+ASHLEY: Insight check.
+
+LIAM: Okay
+
+ASHLEY: She killed them all.
+
+LIAM: Well, in the meantime, while we are looking
+for them, is there anything that we can do for you
+
+or is there anything that you can tell me about
+your last days here?
+
+MATT: There is an interesting point here, let me
+check something real fast here.
+
+SAM: That they don’t talk.
+
+MATT: Yeah, this is going to be a point.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, like a Rorschach test.
+
+LAURA: Can they talk to each other?
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, you can get the note.
+
+LIAM: I mean, their are hoots and whistles are
+some form of language, aren’t they?
+
+MARISHA: Well, he said that they were cursed, they
+lost their ability.
+
+MATT: No, that’s interesting. Interesting point.
+After casting the spell, there is no language to
+
+understand, it’s only through mimicry. You managed
+to get the jist of that initial statement, through
+
+talking with it for a while, but the spell has no
+effect.
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+MATT: There is no spoken language.
+
+LAURA: Should we tell her?
+
+SAM: We don’t know that this feathers are her
+parents.
+
+MATT: Looking through with your medicine check, it
+looks like there’s only three between the two of them.
+
+LAURA: There’s three bodies. Were they big bones
+or little bones?
+
+MATT: They look to be little.
+
+MARISHA: Her sisters. Parents are alive.
+
+LAURA: Then they’re really sad, and they will be
+happy that one of their children–
+
+TRAVIS: What good will it do? I don’t think that
+we need to tell her.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, no. We won’t tell her that, I was
+afraid that it was her parents. But if we can let
+
+her parents know that she’s okay, then at least–
+
+SAM: You said that you could send a message?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, well. The Traveler’s been teaching me
+some stuff and I was asking him the other night
+
+about how I could thank my mama and stuff like
+that. He taught me a little bit of how to send
+
+messages across distances.
+
+SAM: Wow. But don’t you need to know who you’re
+telling it to or something?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know. I think if it’s familiar
+enough, then I can send it. Maybe if she describes
+
+them, I could do it. I haven’t ever tried it.
+
+SAM: We should try it now.
+
+LAURA: I needed to send it to– Oh, I have to
+prepare it.
+
+SAM: Oh.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s haul this all back onto the cart
+and get on our way and see where we get.
+
+ASHLEY: Her parents just left her, you know?
+
+MARISHA: We shouldn’t go fighting with her.
+
+LAURA: There were three other kids, you know?
+
+TALIESIN: What do you propose we do?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know.
+
+LAURA: Blood all over my hands.
+
+MARISHA: We gave her a dagger. Point her in the
+right direction that her parents are going.
+
+SAM: We can’t leave her, the swamp things will
+kill it.
+
+MARISHA: Well, if she comes with us, then we will
+kill her.
+
+ASHLEY: What’s her size?
+
+MATT: Standing at full height, maybe about three
+and a half feet.
+
+MARISHA: Unless we can drop her off on the nearest
+town.
+
+ASHLEY: Just going to kick her up out of the bog.
+
+LIAM: Will she be welcomed in a town?
+
+TALIESIN: Will she be welcomed anywhere?
+
+MARISHA: Exactly.
+
+LIAM: DM, you said three or four, five hours for
+Jester to do all of that gator carving before?
+
+MATT: To actually harvest the actual armored hide
+will get you pretty close to dusk.
+
+LIAM: And that’s what you did?
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Than I use arcane recovery. That’s all I
+wanted to ask, if I had time.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know, guys. We’ve seen how people
+react to Nott around here. What if we drag her in
+
+front of some crazy locals?
+
+TALIESIN: All of this are great points, but I’m
+waiting for another idea.
+
+LIAM: Well, I think we should do what we have done
+well so far, which is to improvise. It is better
+
+to bring her with her and then leave her and then
+if we find an advantageous place to leave her,
+
+then we will. But for the time being she is a
+sidekick.
+
+MATT: (like Caleb) “Sidekick.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fair chance is better than none.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s also possibly someone to watch the
+cart while we do our businesses.
+
+LAURA: Plus, in the morning I can send a message
+to your mom and dad.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Mom and dad.”
+
+LAURA: Right. We can gift you a horse, and then
+you can go find them.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+TRAVIS: We should get back to the cart and at
+least try to make our way into some drier–
+
+TALIESIN: To see if we can find somewhere safe.
+
+LAURA: I’ll carry this leather to the cart.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I’ll carry this leather to
+the cart.” She helps you to start lifting the
+
+carved stuff, but barely at all.
+
+LAURA: Right. I love her, I love her.
+
+SAM and LAURA: She’s the best.
+
+SAM: Welcome to The Mighty Nein!
+
+LAURA: (cheers)
+
+MATT: (chirping) Walks right up to you, like
+face– (chirping)
+
+SAM: I just give her a kiss.
+
+MATT: (startled chirping)
+
+SAM: She’s just so cute, you know?
+
+LAURA: I know, she really is.
+
+MATT: And goes back to helping Jester.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, to the cart, then.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: Do you know cats? Do you like cats? Do you
+know cats?
+
+MARISHA: Birds don’t like cats.
+
+LAURA: She’s a baby bird.
+
+SAM: Cats don’t like birds.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, cats don’t like birds.
+
+LIAM: Do you like cats?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LIAM: Into her hands. Frumpkin starts to purr and
+nuzzle.
+
+MATT: She is spellbound by this moment of a cat
+appearing in her hands.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I ask Frumpkin to do a blep.
+
+LAURA: A blep.
+
+LIAM: And to lick her face.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+MATT: Throws the cat down, seemingly weirded out
+by the moment, doesn’t quite know how to react.
+
+MARISHA: Frumpkin starts chittering.
+
+LIAM: He’s friendly. That is my cat. If you want
+to spend some time with him, you can. He is very
+
+soothing for me, anyway. Give it a shot.
+
+MATT: Picks up Frumpkin, and runs towards the cart
+as you guys get there and load it up. Kiri jumps
+
+up into the cart and turns around to the rest of
+you and goes, (like Nott) “Welcome to The Mighty
+
+Nein!” And starts petting Frumpkin.
+
+LAURA: I love her so much!
+
+SAM and TRAVIS: She’s the best of us.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, this is never going to get
+irritating. Let’s get on our way.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I insight check her?
+
+MATT: Sure. Make an insight check.
+
+ASHLEY: My insight is so bad.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s going to make it even better.
+
+ASHLEY: 12.
+
+MATT: It’s a bird person. “I’m bird p–” Not that
+kind of bird person, but–
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t trust her. It’s weird.
+
+LIAM: I just want to point out that, if we pick up
+one more stray, there will actually be nine of us.
+
+TALIESIN: That can’t happen. We will not have
+that.
+
+ASHLEY: With Frumpkin–
+
+MARISHA: Then we wouldn’t be ironic anymore.
+
+TALIESIN: Cling to our irony.
+
+LIAM: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Are we cheeky or are we serious? That’ll
+totally change our entire disposition of the group.
+
+LIAM: It can be both.
+
+TALIESIN: Seriously cheeky? Cheekingly serious.
+
+LAURA: Let’s put a cloak over her, so she looks a
+little less like a bird.
+
+SAM: I’ve got some clothing that would fit her! My
+clothing. I give you my cape and and stuff.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: But now you don’t have a cloak on. I’ll
+take off my cloak and put it on Nott.
+
+SAM: I can’t move.
+
+LAURA: But it’s a short cloak, it’s a little one,
+don’t worry.
+
+SAM: Okay, thank you.
+
+MATT: It’s a nice flannel, I’m going to want it
+back. Right now? Yeah.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay, now I’m cold, too.
+
+LIAM: Caleb takes off his cloak and puts it on
+Jester. I never wear a cloak when we’re not in the city.
+
+LAURA: No, that’s okay. I’m actually really warm
+right now, I don’t need anything.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, it’s definitely like 85 degrees.
+We’re all sharing cloaks for no reason.
+
+LAURA: It’s not 85 degrees, it’s still cold here.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty chilly. It’s like mid-60s.
+
+LAURA: I put it back on Caleb and tuck him into
+it.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, it’s a humid 60 degrees.
+
+MATT: It feels warmer than it is because of the
+moisture in the air, but it’s not, like, warm.
+
+LIAM: Look, you guys, we are trying to make it
+work.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s head out.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, Molly and I take the lead on the horses.
+
+LAURA: Kiri, where was the city you saw, the
+village of people?
+
+MATT: Points up in front of the road, in that
+direction.
+
+LAURA: We should go in that direction.
+
+SAM: Wait, that’s the way that we go to find
+our–
+
+LAURA: So we can locate Febron Keyes, yeah.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s go.
+
+MATT: Following the Bromkiln Byway, your vision
+pierces the dense tangle of trees and vines to see
+
+the distant glow of lanterns just as the sun sets
+and the evening sky grows dark. Closer still, you
+
+make out a strange mismatch of varying levels that
+make up the village. Whole areas stand on stilts
+
+and raised platforms connected by bridges, while
+much of the city to the eastern side appears to be
+
+partly submerged in bog water. The browns, greens,
+and grays of the marsh itself is reflected in the
+
+browns, greens, and grays of the people who now
+wander the streets, going about their business.
+
+Welcome to Berleben, a somewhat miserable-looking,
+but functional village here in the Dwendalian
+
+Empire. As you come off the road, the road gives
+way into this central district, which looks to be
+
+a smattering of stone slabs, cobblestone, and
+whatever pieces of material were left over from
+
+construction that helped fix and maintain a main
+road here in the central opening before it
+
+scatters into the rest of the city. What would you
+like to do?
+
+TALIESIN: Technically, did we get a short rest on
+the way in? Or did that not happen?
+
+LIAM: Jester took most of the day to harvest a
+gator.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: We should probably look for an inn or
+something, right?
+
+MARISHA: We have to look for Febron who is
+apparently in the Keystone Pub.
+
+LAURA: We should look for the Keystone Pub!
+
+LIAM: Febron Keyes in the Keystone Pub.
+
+MARISHA: In the (mumbling) district. I ran out of
+page–
+
+LIAM: In the Puddles.
+
+MARISHA: In the Puddles! It is in the Puddles. I
+got Pudd.
+
+LIAM: Puddin’.
+
+MATT: In the Puddin’.
+
+LAURA: Is there anybody outside right now?
+
+MATT: There are people walking through the
+streets. Some of them are carrying small sacks
+
+over their shoulder from one place to another, or
+in the process of wandering over to make about
+
+their business for the city, and they notice you
+approach, and they’re slightly nosey, paying
+
+attention to these strangers that came in off the
+Byway.
+
+SAM: I’m going to cast Disguise Self on myself.
+
+MATT: Okay. To look like?
+
+SAM: A little halfling girl.
+
+MATT: All righty. (confused chirping)
+
+SAM: It’s still me. I can change my body into
+other things, woo!
+
+MATT: (chirping) She seems fascinated and
+enthralled by this.
+
+SAM: Oh, here! Take my mask. Oh, but you have a
+beak.
+
+MATT: (clicking) It’s terrifying.
+
+LIAM: Just pull that cloak way down.
+
+MATT: There’s still this long, dark beak poking
+through, but you got what you got.
+
+MARISHA: It’s stylistic. That’s fine.
+
+LIAM: That’s a Percy mask.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Plague Doctor it up.
+
+TRAVIS: Keystone Pub, right?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Excuse me?
+
+MATT: There’s one older woman going by, who’s
+hunched, has her own hood up, and a long gray
+
+cloak. She’s wearing a stained linen blouse and
+says, “What do you want?”
+
+LAURA: Lovely weather we’re having, huh?
+
+MATT: “Weather’s shit.”
+
+LAURA: Okay! I was wondering if you could point us
+towards an inn, or the Keystone Pub maybe?
+
+MATT: “Keystone Pub’s in the Puddles, that way.”
+
+LAURA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Look for the crooked tower thing.”
+
+LAURA: Can you sleep there?
+
+MATT: “I mean, you can. I wouldn’t be caught dead
+there.”
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MARISHA: Here. Here’s some pocket bacon for your
+trouble.
+
+MATT: “What the fuck is pocket bacon?!”
+
+MARISHA: You seem like you’d appreciate that more
+than money, so I don’t know.
+
+MATT: “I’m very confused, but I’ll take it.” Puts
+it in her pocket, keeps walking.
+
+MARISHA: See?
+
+SAM: How much of that do you have?
+
+MARISHA: I swiped from a few places.
+
+MATT: The whole campaign, she’s been subtly,
+stealthily stealing bacon.
+
+MARISHA: I would do that. I have done that. I just
+want to say, wrap it up in a paper towel, stick it
+
+in your bag, fine.
+
+TRAVIS: From what we can see in the streets, is
+anyone carrying any weapons, or guards, or spears?
+
+MATT: There are. You do actually see a handful of
+crownsguard. They’re present, it’s still part of
+
+the Empire, though they look to be somewhat
+lackluster. At least, their armor isn’t as shiny
+
+and well-kept. It looks like one of them is like,
+“Ah, fucking hell.” They’re stationed here, and
+
+they’re probably not very appreciative, and have
+tried their best to adapt to the life here in the
+
+Labenda Swamp, but they are visible throughout the
+town, including The Puddles, which you begin to go
+
+towards. Almost half of the city takes up The
+Puddles. It looks like it was the oldest portion
+
+of the town. The original Berleben was just this
+district, called The Puddles. The entirety of it
+
+is beneath between one to three inches of water, so as you
+begin to descend from the central area of the
+
+town, you begin to submerge your feet, and the
+entire rest of the city has slowly been sinking
+
+into the swamp. It’s like slowly wading through a
+tide at the beach. It’s also very much the
+
+impoverished side. If you could imagine an area of
+the swamp more impoverished than what you’ve
+
+already come across, this is it. You see a lot of
+huts and hovels. All the buildings here, on top of
+
+being older masonry and stone structures in
+construct, the bases themselves are a deep algae
+
+green from the floor to about halfway up, about
+two or three feet, where moss and fungus and
+
+various other plant matter have slowly grown as
+the liquid that has been soaking into the vicinity
+
+is slowly growing up the sides of these buildings.
+There’s a fountain that has completely folded in
+
+now at this point. It has fallen into itself. Bits
+of the water seem to have permeated through. It’s
+
+an older relic of the earlier construction
+period.
+
+LAURA: I cast Mending on the fountain.
+
+MATT: It does nothing.
+
+TALIESIN: I love this place. This is great.
+
+MATT: Crownsguard keep an eye on you as you are
+the newcomers that walk in. You do notice, as you
+
+head down to the Puddles, that one of the guards
+that watched you enter trails back about 30 or so
+
+feet, slowly walking and keeping an eye.
+
+MARISHA: I pace behind the group and start
+catching up to him.
+
+LAURA: Is the wagon doing okay in the–
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s doing all right. It’s only about
+three inches of water averaged, so it’s not a major
+
+hindrance. You’re also going at a relatively
+comfortable pace now that you’re in the city.
+
+TRAVIS: Keep pushing in, looking for any signage
+of the Keystone Pub.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, looking for the big tower thing.
+
+MATT: Perception check for both of you guys.
+
+LIAM: Also, very important question, how is Kiri
+doing with Frumpkin?
+
+MATT: Kiri is now enthralled in the back of the
+cart, hood up, Frumpkin curled up on her lap, and
+
+is slowly petting him. She’s slowly petting him.
+
+MARISHA: I match pace with the crownsguard
+eventually, the one that’s following us.
+
+MATT: You come up and–
+
+MARISHA: I slow behind to match his pace, who’s
+following us.
+
+MATT: You two–
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+LAURA: 22.
+
+MATT: You see it first, and as soon as you look in
+that direction, you catch up with that, Fjord. You
+
+spot a small crooked tower, maybe about 25 or so
+feet high. It looks like there was originally a
+
+building here that fell into itself and collapsed,
+and they built a pub on top of it. Not very well,
+
+so it’s a haphazard construct that looks somewhat
+unstable with bits of broken stone and– The only
+
+way you can get up into it are rope ladders
+hanging down the front of it that lead into an
+
+archway that’s open on the top. There are two oil
+lanterns hanging from the outside that give this
+
+faint glow to the exterior. From the inside, it
+looks warmly lit, though dark.
+
+MARISHA: I would hang out here all the time.
+
+MATT: It’s about an eight-foot climb to get to the
+threshold of the interior.
+
+LIAM: The only way to get in is an eight-foot
+climb on a rope?
+
+MATT: That’s what it looks like, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Oh dear.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go up there!
+
+MATT: You guys guide your way that way. You manage
+to catch up with the crownsguard who is walking.
+
+As soon as he sees you slowing behind, he lets you
+catch up.
+
+LAURA: Should somebody stay with the cart, maybe?
+Because I feel like all of our awesome stuff that
+
+we just got will be taken.
+
+SAM: What stuff?
+
+LAURA: This leather that we took–
+
+SAM: Bloody crocodile skins?
+
+TALIESIN: We have a beautiful piece of leather. We
+also have some fine tapestries. We have a safe. We
+
+have many things.
+
+SAM: Well, Caleb can put his string around it.
+
+LIAM: I start to pull the silver thread around the
+edges of the cart.
+
+SAM: (deep voice) Please step away from the
+vehicle.
+
+MATT: You just leave it on the base of the tower?
+
+LIAM: All of us can get in, but anybody else will
+set that off.
+
+MATT: As you approach, the guard turns to you.
+“Evening, miss.”
+
+MARISHA: Evening, sir.
+
+MATT: “Out of towners?”
+
+MARISHA: Passing through.
+
+MATT: “All right, just don’t make any trouble.”
+
+MARISHA: Feels like trouble would make your life a
+little interesting, though, wouldn’t it?
+
+MATT: “Don’t like interesting.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh, is that why you’re stationed here? Is
+this by choice, or who’d you piss off?
+
+MATT: “No trouble, miss.”
+
+MARISHA: What’s your name?
+
+MATT: He’s staring right through you.
+
+MARISHA: No, nothing? Just a little conversation.
+Just simple, you know, trying to be polite.
+
+MATT: “Your name first.”
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+MATT: “Beau.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Crownsguard Alexander.”
+
+MARISHA: Crownsguard Alexander. So formal.
+
+MATT: “I don’t like you.”
+
+MARISHA: I get that a lot.
+
+MATT: “I can imagine.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Don’t start any trouble.”
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: “Good. Get on your way.”
+
+MARISHA: I will wait because I don’t like him
+telling me what to do and then I will get on my way.
+
+TRAVIS: When you’re good and ready.
+
+MATT: As you wait there, this awkward 30 second
+stare, he goes, “I’ll just–”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. No, I’m comfortable.
+
+TRAVIS: Let him know.
+
+MATT: “Be on your way.” He turns around and walks
+back to his post.
+
+MARISHA: I wait, and then I give myself a this for
+winning that game of chicken. Yeah! Then I climb
+
+the rope.
+
+LIAM: Man, what a great scene between husband and
+wife.
+
+TALIESIN: That was me at 16 with every cop ever;
+that was great. This is the tiniest hill, and I
+
+will die on it. Never ended that well.
+
+MARISHA: This means nothing, and I want to win.
+
+MATT: Are you guys keeping Kiri in the cart?
+
+LIAM: No, she’s coming with us.
+
+MATT: Kiri climbs up with you. (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Kiri, stay behind me a little bit, okay?
+Don’t make yourself obvious, all right?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “All right.”
+
+LAURA: We need to protect you.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Protect.”
+
+SAM: We’re bringing her into the bar?
+
+LAURA: We can’t leave her in the cart!
+
+SAM: I guess not. Do you drink liquor, Kiri?
+
+MATT: (confused chirp)
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+SAM: Booze?
+
+LIAM, TALIESIN and LAURA: No!
+
+LAURA: Just say no. No! Kiri, no!
+
+SAM: Here, I’ll give you–
+
+LAURA: No! Don’t!
+
+LIAM: Do you know what booze is?
+
+MATT: (chirp)
+
+ASHLEY: She’s going to try it sooner or later, you
+know.
+
+LAURA: Do not let this little bird girl have
+booze.
+
+LIAM: We’ll get her a Tirley Shemple, it’s fine.
+
+MARISHA: You know, if you teach respect early on
+towards alcohol, though.
+
+SAM: That’s true.
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “That’s true!”
+
+ASHLEY: Because if she has it, she won’t–
+
+SAM: That’s a bad idea. Let’s go in.
+
+MATT: She hands Frumpkin to you and climbs up the
+rope with the rest of you. As you guys climb up the
+
+eight-foot jaunt up to the side, you step up past
+the threshold into the archway and are immediately
+
+met with this tough-looking albino dwarf dude.
+He’s standing there with pale white skin, jet
+
+white-gray hair, white eyebrows, big white beard,
+with this black leather vest that’s tucked into
+
+billowing dark brown pants and boots. He’s got all
+these scars and tattoos across his forearms he’s
+
+folded and he goes, “Right.” Steps back, lets you
+in.
+
+LAURA: Hi!
+
+MATT: Gives a nod. He continues to glare as you
+guys step inside. Within, it’s a warmly lit, cozy
+
+space that resembles being belowdeck on a ship at
+sea. You’re right at home here, Fjord. It’s all
+
+dark wood from all different angles, and it’s
+cramped, too, so it has that similar feel. All the
+
+light in here are a handful of oil lanterns, so
+it’s pretty heavily shaded in certain areas, so
+
+you’re only catching rim lighting and soft light
+on certain faces around here. There’s maybe six
+
+patrons in here total. To the right, this loud
+banging sound as two individuals in the process of
+
+building some sort of a stage in the corner
+immediately to your right. It’s small, maybe
+
+five-foot by five-foot, but it’s in the process of
+being built. To your left, you see the bar. It’s
+
+an L-shaped bar, not terribly large. There behind
+it there’s three oil lamps set up, they light the
+
+area. You can see some of the liquor bottles and
+the ale kegs and everything set up towards the
+
+back of the bar. In the front, with one patron
+sitting on a stool, you see a rather
+
+cheerful-looking, middle-aged male gnome as the
+purveyor of this establishment. He’s got puffy
+
+black hair and heavy mutton chops on the sides of
+his face, this bulbous rosy nose. He’s in the
+
+process of pouring and refilling this tankard for
+the patron who’s leaning against the bar in front
+
+of him, this gruff-looking fisherman human dude.
+He gives a glance over to you as you step in,
+
+taking in the vicinity, and goes, “Hey! Welcome to
+the Keystone Pub! Oldest pub in the Labenda! The
+
+"oldest pub in the Labenda is beneath this one, but
+we rebuilt it.”
+
+LAURA: It’s really cool.
+
+TALIESIN: Stunning.
+
+MATT: “Thank you very much. Glad you could make
+it. Where are you all from?”
+
+LIAM: All over the place, really.
+
+SAM: Alfield.
+
+MATT: “Alfield, that’s a bit of a journey, isn’t
+it? Well, glad you could make it. Not many folks
+
+"come that far over here to visit the swamp.”
+
+MARISHA: What’s your name, good sir?
+
+MATT: “I am Dent Bonswallow.”
+
+LAURA: He’s a little bit high right now.
+
+LIAM: Bon or Barn, or–?
+
+MATT: “Dent Bonswallow.”
+
+LAURA: Can I look around at the few patrons that
+are in here and see if any of them fit the
+
+description of Febron Keyes?
+
+MATT: Perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Two teeth, busted eye.
+
+MARISHA: Looks super cray.
+
+LAURA: That was a shitty roll. Eight.
+
+MATT: It’s too dark in here, unfortunately.
+There’s only six other patrons, but they’re too
+
+dimly lit for you to make out any features.
+
+LAURA: Can I get up close to them and one by one?
+
+SAM: We can look in a few more minutes.
+
+LIAM: Let your eyes adjust to the room.
+
+MATT: As Jester begins walking off through the
+chamber, he’s like, “What can I get you guys? What
+
+"you asking for? What you looking for?”
+
+MARISHA: What’s your strongest drink?
+
+MATT: “That would be the Labenda Throat Grog.”
+
+MARISHA: What is– what?
+
+MATT: “Labenda Throat Grog.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. That.
+
+MATT: “Burns you like a fucker.”
+
+MARISHA: Bender Throat Grog?
+
+MATT: “Labenda. The swamp you’re in. Same color as
+the swamp. Burns your throat. Tastes like grog.
+
+"That’s where it got its name.”
+
+MARISHA: What do you mean, same color as the
+swamp? Green and shitty?
+
+MATT: “Yeah!”
+
+TALIESIN: That sounds exciting. I think we need a
+round.
+
+MATT: “A round for everyone? You too?” Points to
+the little hooded creature next to you.
+
+SAM: No, she’s on the wagon.
+
+MATT: (as Kiri, like Nott) “On the wagon.” (as
+Dent) “Right. Weird.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t know I needed this.
+
+MATT: “That’s going to put you back about 25
+copper pieces.”
+
+MARISHA: Oh. I’ll take it. No, I’ve got it.
+
+LIAM: I have it.
+
+MARISHA: This one’s on me.
+
+LIAM: That’s easy for me to do.
+
+MARISHA: I need it for tax write-offs.
+
+TRAVIS: Boulder-parchment-shears!
+
+SAM: They always fight for the check.
+
+MARISHA: Boulder-parchment-shears.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Eins, zwei, drei. Snip.
+
+MARISHA: All right, you get it.
+
+MATT: As he’s pouring the drinks one by one: “What
+brings you to town? What brings you so far north
+
+"from Alfield?”
+
+LAURA: We heard amazing things about this area,
+and we thought we would check it out, because
+
+we’re travelers.
+
+MARISHA: Historical point of interest.
+
+LAURA: Yes, and we like to see different sorts of
+things, and this is really an interesting area.
+
+You know, not many cities have a lot of water in
+them like this.
+
+MATT: “It’s a shithole. But it’s our shithole!”
+
+LAURA: It’s really cool-looking, though.
+
+MATT: “Thank you, I appreciate that.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s exactly the magnet that I bought
+when I got in here.
+
+MATT: “Oh, you got one of the shithole magnets,
+too?”
+
+MARISHA: I got a shithole magnet.
+
+MATT: “If anyone else wants any, I got a whole
+bucket of them.”
+
+TALIESIN: You are a shithole magnet, really, when
+you think about it. That’s fair.
+
+MARISHA: It spoke to me.
+
+SAM: You’re building a stage for something? Is
+there some sort of circus in town?
+
+MATT: “No, I wanted some entertainment to liven
+the place up a bit. I’ve been here for ten years,
+
+"and it’s been a bit dull.”
+
+TRAVIS: Did you own the previous bar that this
+one’s built on top of?
+
+MATT: “I did. Inherited it from my father, before
+it, you know.”
+
+LIAM: How old is Berleben in general?
+
+MATT: “It’s been here since the empire started.
+Almost three centuries.”
+
+LIAM: Wow.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+TRAVIS: You know, we love traveling around. Is
+there anything in Berleben that we just have to
+
+see before we leave?
+
+MATT: “I mean, you’re there.”
+
+TRAVIS: Here?
+
+MATT: “Yeah. It’s the finest pub in town.”
+
+TRAVIS: Great.
+
+MATT: “Hey, it’s rough to start at the top, mate,
+but you make your way down.”
+
+TRAVIS: Worse ways to go.
+
+TALIESIN: Can we go shopping in town, maybe? We’ve
+got some leather to trade, may have some armor.
+
+MATT: “Maybe. Your best bet for trade wouldn’t be
+here in The Puddles. You’d be looking for the
+
+"Midway Docks. That’s where most of the business
+gets done here. If you’re looking for things for a
+
+"fancier space, maybe you want to head to The
+Stilts, but that’s where the– what’s the word I’m
+
+"looking for– folks who run the place stay.”
+
+LIAM: There’s a fancier part of this town?
+
+MATT: “It’s The Stilts. It’s where it’s all raised
+up. That’s where the Summit House is, where the
+
+"Starosta stays. There’s the Mossmire Temple, which
+is where the druid that keeps the swamp fane
+
+"stays. The Idolmaster.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’re also going to be looking for a
+place to sleep. I don’t know if you’d recommend
+
+anywhere that–
+
+MATT: “You’re already here.”
+
+TALIESIN: You have rooms?
+
+MATT: “Yeah!” He points down.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s exciting!
+
+LAURA: Downstairs?
+
+MATT: “Yeah!”
+
+LAURA: Whoa, that could be so much fun!
+
+MARISHA: Is it haunted?
+
+MATT: “Do you like things that are haunted?”
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MATT: “It’s haunted!”
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: Is it submerged in water?
+
+MATT: “No, we cleared out underneath. Everything
+that fell in, we cleared out, and we have
+
+"subterranean rooms.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m very excited by this.
+
+ASHLEY: Do they have portholes to the water?
+
+MATT: “That’s not a bad idea.” He makes a note on
+a piece of paper. “There will be, in a few weeks.”
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Are they below the water level here?
+
+MATT: “Most of them, no. But there’s a few if you
+like it wee bit soggy.”
+
+TRAVIS: I walk away from the bar and stand near
+the door entrance.
+
+MARISHA: I cover for Fjord a little bit. Just
+taking space.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Just fill it out. This is my bubble now.
+
+MATT: Nobody get close!
+
+TALIESIN: How many rooms do you have?
+
+MATT: “Four.”
+
+TALIESIN: How much are they apiece?
+
+MATT: “Let’s see, for the inn put it about a
+silver piece per room.”
+
+TALIESIN: I figure we should stay in all four for a
+couple of days.
+
+MATT: “Per person.”
+
+TALIESIN: Per person?
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+LAURA: That’s a lot more than you originally made
+it sound like.
+
+MATT: “I apologize for the miscommunication.”
+
+TALIESIN: I am perfectly okay with this.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, sure, why not?
+
+MARISHA: It is haunted.
+
+MATT: “That is the case. You pay for them
+spirits.”
+
+LAURA: Is there someone who can keep our cart? Do
+you have a place we can keep our cart?
+
+MATT: “You brought a cart?”
+
+LAURA: Well, yeah.
+
+MATT: “Then yeah. We can keep it. I can keep it.”
+
+LAURA: Keep it where? Where?
+
+MATT: (defeated) “You can take it to the
+stables.”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “The Midway Docks. But I can do it for you!
+For just a few copper. A delivery fee.”
+
+LAURA: No, I’ll do it because I want to see the
+town.
+
+MATT: “Okay.”
+
+TALIESIN: Eight silver.
+
+SAM: You said a silver per person?
+
+MATT: “Aye.”
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s put a couple– yeah, eight, that’s
+fine, I’ve got that.
+
+LAURA: Sure.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough. Deed is done. Thank you! Did
+you want me to be delivering your cart for you?”
+
+LAURA: No, I can do it. Yeah.
+
+SAM: We’ll be fine.
+
+MATT: “All right. If you ever get lazy– ”
+
+LAURA: Where’s the stable?
+
+MATT: “The Midway. There’s only really one stable.
+It’s a bit large, there. It’s in the Midway Docks,
+
+"so keep an eye out, ask around, you’ll find it.”
+
+MARISHA: Bonswallow.
+
+MATT: “Yeah?”
+
+MARISHA: We heard about a kooky regular. We just
+have to meet him. Febron?
+
+MATT: “You looking for old Febron?”
+
+MARISHA: Febron Keyes, yeah.
+
+MATT: “I ain’t going to ask. He’s over there. Left
+of the stage where it looks like he’s passed out,
+
+"probably in his own piss, most likely.” He points
+in the direction, you can see where they’re
+
+banging with hammers at the stage, there’s one guy
+who’s like (snoring). Just completely out.
+
+Probably drooling down the side of the face.
+
+LAURA: Man! I was going to look at everyone in
+here!
+
+SAM: We found him! We won!
+
+LAURA: He’s right here!
+
+SAM: We send the message back to The Gentleman,
+and we’ll collect our money.
+
+TALIESIN: Were we given anything special to say to
+him or should we go wake him up?
+
+LAURA: No, we have to secure the safe house.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s right, that’s not– okay, I’m
+sorry, I was confused.
+
+MATT: He’s just the contact who knows.
+
+LAURA: Let’s go wake him up!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m going to walk over and sit
+down at his table.
+
+MATT: (snoring)
+
+TALIESIN: Wave my drink underneath his nose. Hey
+hey hey! I pop it off.
+
+MATT: (snoring)
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll flick him in the forehead.
+
+MATT: (groans) “What the fuck you do that for?”
+
+SAM: Oh, boy.
+
+TALIESIN: You seem like such a charming
+gentleman.
+
+MATT: You now have the full appearance here, and
+it’s pretty busted. The Gentleman was wrong. There
+
+is one tooth, but it is black and angled.
+
+LIAM: From the bottom?
+
+MATT: Yeah, from the bottom out. The lips are
+cracked. The left eye is angling off in an off
+
+direction. He looks like he’s probably been kicked
+in the face a few times by probably a horse at
+
+some point in his childhood. He’s definitely had a
+rough go at life, probably, but has seemed to have
+
+carved a living. The very balding head on top,
+jaundiced skin, looks like he’s sweating from the
+
+general humidity of the air in there, along with
+probably who knows how much he’s been drinking and
+
+he’s sweating the alcohol through his pores.
+Doesn’t take care of himself. He looks up. “So
+
+"what you doing?”
+
+TALIESIN: You just seem like such a charming
+gentleman.
+
+MATT: “Why the fuck did you flick me?”
+
+TALIESIN: We were sent for.
+
+MATT: “From– ? Where’s my fucking drink?”
+
+TALIESIN: A certain gentleman.
+
+MATT: Tension goes straight. This eye goes
+(fwoop!). Joins the other.
+
+TALIESIN: I hand him the drink one more time.
+
+MATT: “You were sent by The Gentleman? Yeah?
+What’s he want?”
+
+MARISHA: Don’t drink from that again. Don’t. Wash
+that.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s sterile. By its very nature it’s
+sterile.
+
+SAM: Can you use Mending on him?
+
+LAURA: Just on his teeth.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t fix him, he’s perfect!
+
+LIAM: That would be a 9th-level spell, that’s
+beyond–
+
+MARISHA: That’s a Wish! Yeah!
+
+TALIESIN: We’re here to help you with your
+troubles.
+
+MATT: (chuckles) “My troubles just started, mate!
+Don’t want anything with this. No. Fucking out.
+
+"No. Want nothing to do with it!”
+
+TALIESIN: We’re here to deal with the safe house.
+
+MATT: “Nope. Think I’m fucking doing it? It’s not
+my problem anymore! I don’t want anything to do
+
+"with him, or any of his business. He wants to send
+more of his toadies out to a drowning death? Go
+
+"for it! That’s up to you. I want nothing to do
+with it. You can do it without adding corpses by
+
+"my tangle.”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, if you want another drink, then,
+you’re going to show us how to get there and how
+
+to deal with it and what you know.
+
+MATT: “How is that? It’s a drink for it? Eh, fuck
+you!”
+
+TALIESIN: (laughs) I take my drink back.
+
+LIAM: We could also drag you back to The Gentleman
+if you’d prefer that, instead. Or you could point
+
+us in the right direction and let us take care of
+it.
+
+TRAVIS: True. He did not have the kindest things
+to say about you.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+MARISHA: Beau gives a crack.
+
+LAURA: You’re so intimidating, Caleb. Really,
+really–
+
+LIAM: That is a 15.
+
+MATT: A 15? The sweat begins to build a little
+more on his brow. He’s like, “Well, I was just–
+
+"don’t need to be taking me back to him. You know,
+I don’t want the work anymore.”
+
+LIAM: Well, you know: keep it simple, stupid.
+
+MATT: (sighs) “Could I get another drink? Look
+mate, it’s some shit going on out there in the
+
+"swamp. I bet he didn’t tell you anything, did
+he?”
+
+LAURA: Was it gators?
+
+MATT: “No, it wasn’t gators!”
+
+LAURA: Oh well, because we are really good at
+killing those.
+
+LIAM: We are very aware that he has sent us into
+something more troublesome than he has described,
+
+and we are willing to do that. We’re told you are
+the one who can get us in the right direction?
+
+We’ll be very disappointed otherwise.
+
+MATT: “Look. It was easy work, mate. All right?
+Meet his friends, lead them to the safe house in
+
+"the swamp, lead them back. Good pay. Simple work.
+And yeah, I’m going to miss it, huh? But I value
+
+"my life more than that. Few weeks back I escorted
+one of his smuggled troops to the safe house in
+
+"the swamp. Right? The one you’re asking about.
+Left them there with instruction to return a few
+
+"days later and escort them to the underground
+river. Returned and I heard something cruel. Some
+
+"low, echoing howl. (weak scream) It was much
+scarier than that. Shaking, I got there, right?
+
+"Fucking hell. Outside the house, all of them,
+dead. Strung up in reeds and roots. Bloated and
+
+"left as a warning, that’s what I say. I hear the
+howl again, and I just run.”
+
+SAM: I’m covering Kiri’s ears.
+
+MATT: “There be curses in this swamp. Have been
+since before this loathsome struggle shithole’s
+
+"been here. (tearfully) Nightmares I been having,
+yeah? Been having ever since. Whatever it is, it’s
+
+"gotten in me head! I ain’t going. It ain’t worth
+it if I had the coin!”
+
+LAURA: What if we paid you 100 coin?
+
+MATT: “I’ll come for that.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: All right. We could do that.
+
+ASHLEY: You just said “coin,” right?
+
+LAURA: I just said “coin.” I didn’t make it clear
+which kind of coin.
+
+SAM: Copper? 100 copper?
+
+LAURA: 100 copper? 100 silver, okay, 100 silver,
+you got it.
+
+MARISHA: Half and half. Little gold, little
+silver. Silver and gold.
+
+ASHLEY: Which make–?
+
+MATT: Make it a hundred gold pieces and buy me a
+drink.
+
+SAM: Yeah, I’ll pour you a drink. I’ll refill his
+cup. Does he have a cup?
+
+MATT: He does. He had to pull it off the ground.
+It’s knocked over and spilled.
+
+SAM: With my flask, I’ll fill it up.
+
+LAURA: That’s one part of it taken care of!
+
+MATT: “And the other?”
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+SAM: Half now, half upon–
+
+LAURA: Upon delivery to the place.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: That’s a persuasive Jessie–
+
+LAURA: No, it’s not, it’s really not.
+
+LIAM: Damn it, Jessie!
+
+LAURA: It’s a nine!
+
+MATT: “100 gold now, or you’re pissing up the wind
+to find this little place!”
+
+LAURA: Don’t be a dick to us. You already said you
+were scared of us bringing you back to The
+
+Gentleman. What are you going to do?
+
+MATT: (Kiri, like Jester) “What are you going to
+do?” Your bird friend says. He goes–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, what she said.
+
+MATT: (as Febron) “Look. I’m going to be risking
+my life, I’m going to do it for the right amount
+
+"of coin, okay? It’s a service I’m providing. You
+can drag me back if you like. It’s a pain in the ass!”
+
+MARISHA: Look, you got to risk your life for the
+coin, or we can drag you back, as you said,
+
+without any coin.
+
+MATT: “Then drag me back! Take me back to him!
+Empty-handed in the deal you’re looking for!”
+
+SAM: 100 gold.
+
+LAURA: And you sing us a song. On the stage.
+
+MATT: “100 gold.”
+
+LAURA: And?
+
+MATT: Make another persuasion check. With
+disadvantage.
+
+LIAM: Because Matt doesn’t want to sing.
+
+MATT: No, he doesn’t want to sing!
+
+LAURA: 12?
+
+MATT: He goes, “Deal, but it’s a short song!”
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Does everyone want to chip in a
+little bit of gold?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to point out, this is entirely
+your doing.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to give you all my gold. That is
+one.
+
+SAM: I’ll take Caleb’s share.
+
+MARISHA: Man, you are so broke all the damn time!
+
+LIAM: No, I have two silver and five copper!
+
+MARISHA: You are so broke all the damn time!
+
+LIAM: How. Broke. Am I?
+
+LAURA: This is like sorting out a check at the end
+of a meal.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll give you 20.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll give you 12.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll give you 20. I’ll cover Caleb.
+
+SAM: 12?
+
+LAURA: 20 plus 20, 12, okay.
+
+SAM: I’ll take the rest.
+
+MATT: Accounting in D&D!
+
+LAURA: No, I’m going to do 20 from me, too, so
+that’s 72, and then one from Caleb, so 73, so–
+
+SAM: 27 from me.
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, but I didn’t put any. I’ll put in
+ten, and you put in–
+
+SAM: 17.
+
+LAURA: All right. Here’s your gold. All of us
+pulled together. Now go sing your song! Wait,
+
+shake my hand because– eww.
+
+TALIESIN: You said it.
+
+LAURA: It’s really important to shake when you
+make a deal. And look me in the eye.
+
+MATT: His one eye wandering.
+
+ASHLEY: Both of them.
+
+LIAM: (whispers) Power ballad!
+
+MARISHA: Make it a good one. One we all know the
+words to. I want to sing along! I yell at him as
+
+he walks away.
+
+SAM: You’re the worst.
+
+MATT: He slinks over. The stage is only partially
+up, and the two guys go– “Just a moment.” They’re
+
+like, “Fuck off!” “Just a fucking moment! Just
+one!” They’re like, “Fucking hell, Febron,
+
+"seriously?” They step back, cross their arms and
+he gets up on the stage.
+
+LAURA: Margaritaville!
+
+MATT: Looks at the pouch of coins.
+
+MARISHA: Free Bird!
+
+ASHLEY: Stairway to Heaven!
+
+MATT: (singing off-key) “All the sailors say:
+Brandy, you’re a fine girl. What a good wife you
+
+"could be.”
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, you know this one.
+
+MATT and ASHLEY: “But my life, my lover, my lady
+is the sea!”
+
+(laughter and applause)
+
+MATT: “I need a drink!” He goes back towards the
+bar.
+
+LAURA: Wait, are we leaving in the morning? When
+are we doing this?
+
+MATT: “When do you want to leave?”
+
+SAM and LAURA: In the morning.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got some shopping to do, we’ve got
+to run around a bit.
+
+SAM: 10:30.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait a minute.
+
+SAM: A soft 10:30.
+
+ASHLEY: Did you already give him the gold?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Hang on.
+
+TRAVIS: He ain’t going to fucking be here in the
+morning.
+
+MATT: “You ain’t taking it back!”
+
+ASHLEY: Excuse me, how do we know you’re going to
+show up tomorrow? And not just run away with the gold?
+
+LIAM: Well, he is staying with us this evening.
+
+ASHLEY: Ah, that’s right. You’re staying with us.
+
+MATT: “I’m staying with you?”
+
+LAURA and ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: “Sure. Fine. Great.”
+
+ASHLEY: Take your pick.
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+ASHLEY: Choose wisely.
+
+TALIESIN: I sleep naked. Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Ready to snuggle, big lady?”
+
+ASHLEY: Good choice.
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+MATT: He goes and finishes his drink. You’re shown
+the sleeping quarters for the evening. There is a
+
+hatch behind and to the back of the bar. It looks
+like a dark corner, where there’s almost no light.
+
+The barkeep, Dent, comes over and brings one of
+the lanterns off the wall and opens up a hatch,
+
+and there is a ladder that leads down inside.
+Literally, they’ve cleared out most of the ruin of
+
+the old establishment below it, and there are four
+separate rooms with a small hallway between, like
+
+a cross-section hallway, that are built as a
+subterranean sleeping quarters.
+
+LAURA: This is so cool!
+
+ASHLEY: Awesome.
+
+MATT: There are no windows! It feels very much
+like a prison cell with a bed, but it’s functional.
+
+LAURA: Are there two beds in the rooms, or is it
+just one bed?
+
+MATT: One bed per room.
+
+SAM: Oh, boy.
+
+MARISHA: Feels very trendy.
+
+LAURA: Time to snuggle up, Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Let’s do it!
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s taking Kiri?
+
+LAURA: Oh, Kiri’s staying with us.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+SAM: There’s four rooms: one of them is Yasha and
+the weirdo–
+
+TRAVIS: Molly and Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
+
+LAURA: And you and Caleb.
+
+SAM: Okay. As we go into our room, I say to Caleb:
+It’s not really haunted, is it?
+
+LIAM: I highly doubt it. I mean, it’s possible.
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit. We need to take the cart to the
+stables.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re putting our stuff down and we’re
+also– How late is it at this point?
+
+MATT: It’s post-sundown. In the time of searching
+the city, having the drink and conversation, it’s
+
+probably close to 9:30, 10:00, probably.
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit. Maybe we should have the guy take
+it. Or should we just leave it outside? I think
+
+that’s a bad idea.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a terrible idea.
+
+SAM: Have him take care of it. Well, we know
+what’s in it. There’s inventory, so if anything’s
+
+missing, it’s on him. It’s on Dent.
+
+LAURA: Okay, yes, we’ll have Dent take it to the
+stables.
+
+MARISHA: Do you think he has insurance to cover
+lost goods? Because I don’t think he does.
+
+LIAM: Insurance? No, we are in a podunk town,
+there is no insurance here.
+
+MATT: Taking all the horses and the cart to the
+stables, Dent, looking it all over, charges you
+
+two silver for the service.
+
+LAURA: Can I insight check him and make sure he’s
+going to be honest?
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LAURA: A natural one. He’s the most trustworthy
+guy I’ve ever met in my entire life.
+
+MATT: Seems above board, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Someone should go with him and we get the
+valuables off.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you going to rethread the silver
+that is–
+
+LIAM: Well, we’ve been here an hour, there are
+seven hours-ish left on the spell. That’ll get us
+
+through most of the night.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+LIAM: What all’s in there? You have the–
+
+MARISHA: Wait, does that go with the cart?
+
+LIAM: Sure, I thread the cart, but you have the
+thingy.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: That’s the most important thing.
+
+SAM: The only thing on the cart is your thing that
+you bought at the festival and some crocodile skins.
+
+TALIESIN: Yep. Some leather, some armor. There’s a
+few things.
+
+LIAM: I’m fine to send it.
+
+MARISHA: It’s fine, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Okay, here’s a couple silver for you. Thank
+you.
+
+MATT: “No worries, happy to help!” He goes and
+carries it off and takes care of it for the evening.
+
+LIAM: Also, Nott, I would not worry: the spookiest
+thing in this place is us.
+
+SAM: That is true.
+
+MATT: You guys gather your things and bed down for
+the evening, taking your respective chambers.
+
+LIAM: (squeaking) Quick conversation?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Just, quick.
+
+SAM: (squeaking)
+
+(squeaking)
+
+MATT: That was Kiri.
+
+LIAM: As the hooligans are getting ready for bed,
+I wanted to say to Nott: You know, I think, for
+
+obvious reasons now, I have kept a lot of things
+close to the vest, and those things are out. If
+
+you ever want to talk about anything– now or
+later, after you think about it– you are my
+
+friend, and you can talk to me– if you want.
+
+SAM: Well, thank you. You know, I don’t want to
+burden you with my shit. You’ve got your own fish
+
+to fry and your own battles to wage, and I don’t
+want you to have to worry about me or anything.
+
+That means a lot to me, and– oh, hello.
+
+LIAM: I can’t see you through your booze.
+
+SAM: That’s the point.
+
+MARISHA: Was going to say, it’s the full Wilson
+effect.
+
+SAM: I just want you to be okay. It sounds like
+this person who corrupted you is out there still,
+
+and we need to find him and you know, kill him or
+whatever? If that’s something that you want to do?
+
+I’m fine focusing on that. I’ve got my own issues,
+but I’m fine taking care of yours first. The thing
+
+is, your story that you poured out to me and
+Beau, the other day– it was very sad, and I’m so
+
+sorry that you had to go through it, but I have to
+say, in a way, I’m a little bit jealous. Because
+
+you’ve done this horrible thing– not to make
+light of it or anything, but it’s bad– and we can
+
+all tell that you’re wearing it in your dirty
+clothes and your mussed hair–
+
+LIAM: I’m clean right now.
+
+SAM: Well, I know, but still– You know when
+you’re dirty and it rains, and it streaks down and
+
+dries? That’s the sort of thing you’ve got going
+on right now.
+
+TALIESIN: Like you’ve just kissed Spider-Man.
+
+LIAM: I mean, an hour in, yeah, but we were in the
+rain for like, 48 hours.
+
+SAM: But you’ve got a lot of dirt on you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, did Laura Bailey put you up to this?
+
+SAM: No. All I’m saying is, I feel like you can
+get revenge. You can maybe even get redemption for
+
+what you’ve done, and you can become a better
+person. You can do good to counteract the bad that
+
+you’ve done in your past, and maybe someday there
+will be an end to your suffering.
+
+LIAM: You’re getting ahead of yourself, okay? I am
+a garbage person. Let’s put that on the table. But
+
+while I am a piece of shit, we can help each other
+in the short term. This is going further than I
+
+anticipated. I just meant that if– These
+people we are with are all interesting, and
+
+great– and untrustworthy, but great– but I trust
+you, which wasn’t really true three weeks ago. I
+
+just mean I wasn’t– I don’t know, words don’t do
+it. Talk to me if you want.
+
+SAM: All right. Thank you for the offer. Good
+night, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Gute nacht.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester?
+
+LAURA: Yeah?
+
+MARISHA: What do you think Captain Max-dung,
+whatever his name was–
+
+LAURA: Maximilian.
+
+MARISHA: Maximilian meant by (exaggeratedly sexy)
+“I’ll see you again.”
+
+LAURA: I think he was saying something that cute
+guys sometimes say, those kind of things.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, like, “Ooh, I hope our paths cross
+again someday, ooh.”
+
+LAURA: Then later on in the book, you run into him
+again, and he remembers you.
+
+MARISHA: And you’re like, “Ooh, that’s Captain
+Max.”
+
+LAURA: Then he takes off his helmet this time, and
+you see that he’s got the most fabulous hair that
+
+blows in the wind.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, man, you’re like, “I never knew he
+had such luscious locks, mmm.”
+
+LAURA: Captain Maximilian is probably like that.
+
+MARISHA: I think so, too. Do you think he had the
+hots for any one of us? Do you think that’s why he
+
+said this like, “I want to see you again.”
+
+LAURA: He probably had the hots for you, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I think he had the hots for you.
+
+LAURA: Well, no, probably not!
+
+MARISHA: I mean.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it was Yasha!
+
+MARISHA: (whispering) Maybe it was Yasha. Maybe it
+was like, “Ooh, I’m a captain.”
+
+MATT: (like Beau) “Ooh, I’m a captain.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Have you ever read Tusk Love, Kiri?
+
+MATT: (curious chirping)
+
+LAURA: You know what, maybe Kiri shouldn’t read
+Tusk Love just yet.
+
+MATT: (scoots chair closer)
+
+LAURA: Kiri, how old are your parents?
+
+MATT: (confused chirping)
+
+LAURA: You don’t know how old they are?
+
+MATT: (confused chirping)
+
+LAURA: How old are you compared to most people
+that are like you?
+
+MATT: (confused chirping)
+
+LAURA: I think that means she’s pretty young.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Kiri, where do babies come from?
+She doesn’t know what the hell we’re talking about.
+
+LAURA: Yes, she does.
+
+MATT: (like Beau) “Where do babies come from?”
+
+LAURA: Your voice is very low, Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Is that how I sound?
+
+LAURA: You kind of do sound like that.
+
+MARISHA: Wow, I have a lot to re-evaluate.
+
+TRAVIS: Got some nuts on you there.
+
+MARISHA: I have to think about some things. We
+should go to sleep.
+
+LIAM: Hanging brain.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to spend the evening
+telling Kiri basically the story of Tusk Love–
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+LAURA: But she doesn’t have to read it, I can
+leave out the really dirty bits.
+
+MARISHA: I fall asleep 20 minutes in, drooling a
+little.
+
+LAURA: I tell her all about Oskar.
+
+MATT: Kiri is just enthralled.
+
+LAURA: It’s the most beautiful love story you’ve ever
+heard in your entire life, basically.
+
+MATT: (trilling)
+
+LAURA: I draw pictures of it to illustrate what
+I’m talking about.
+
+MATT: If you could see a blackbird blush. Molly
+and Fjord?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not that I don’t trust this place
+or like it, but I’m thinking about locking the
+
+door a little more heavily than normal. I’m going
+to wedge my sword underneath the door to make sure
+
+that it can’t open without moving the sword. It’s
+a lot of new people today.
+
+TRAVIS: Smart.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t like new people.
+
+TRAVIS: Is there any moisture in the corners of
+the room?
+
+MATT: Yeah, and you guys notice, two of the rooms
+are dry, two of the rooms have about half an inch
+
+of water on the floor.
+
+TRAVIS: Which one is ours?
+
+MATT: Half an inch of water on the floor.
+
+TRAVIS: I really don’t mind, This is actually
+pretty familiar.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right with this as well. This is
+fine. I’ll take the bed, though, if you’re
+
+offering!
+
+TRAVIS: Not a problem.
+
+MATT: All right. The door closes in the chamber.
+(gulps drink) “Hello.”
+
+SAM: (electric guitar riff)
+
+ASHLEY: I start pushing the bed up against the
+door.
+
+MATT: “Interesting. Right, okay.” He starts taking
+his linen shirt off: it’s stained and–
+
+ASHLEY: Now, you can sleep with your clothes on.
+
+MATT: “I can, but it’s not as comfortable.”
+
+ASHLEY: I throw him a pillow.
+
+MATT: “All right. You first.”
+
+ASHLEY: I’m sleeping in the bed.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, me too.”
+
+ASHLEY: No, you didn’t pay for this room.
+
+MATT: “May I sleep in the bed?’”
+
+ASHLEY: (gum popping) No. You won’t fit in the bed
+with me. I am very big.
+
+MATT: “Let’s try.”
+
+ASHLEY: Let’s not.
+
+MATT: “Very well.” He lays down on the somewhat
+slightly waterlogged floor, takes the pillow and
+
+bundles it up in the corner of the room and lays
+down next to it. You have a little oil lamp that
+
+you can put out.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to leave it on.
+
+LAURA: Leave that shit on.
+
+ASHLEY: I sit up against the bed.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys all eventually get to
+sleep. You get an evening’s rest, managing to
+
+adjust to the unpleasant smell of somewhat swamp
+bog water-soaked subterranean inn room, but the
+
+night comes and passes. We’ll pick up next week as
+the morning comes to.
+
+LIAM: Febron is totally telling his friends that
+he nailed a barbarian.
+
+ASHLEY: We’ll see what happens!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to become that story that
+everyone hates.
+
+LIAM: (as Febron) So I had her alone, right?
+
+MATT: He’s a creepy little fuck.
+
+LAURA: Ew.
+
+ASHLEY: You never know! He could get lucky!
+
+LIAM: (as Febron) It’s me pheromones!
+
+MATT: “Gets them everytime, eh?” Thank you, guys!
+That was fun. Moving right along.
+
+LAURA: I like this place.
+
+MARISHA: I need a new notebook after this
+session.
+
+SAM: You filled that whole thing?!
+
+TRAVIS: She writes at like font 55.
+
+MARISHA: I do.
+
+LIAM: Each page is a centimeter thick, though, on
+this book.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, and each page has like 15 words in
+it.
+
+LIAM: But there’s illustrations, maps, curse
+words, colors–
+
+MATT: Learn from our monk!
+
+LIAM: Punisher skulls.
+
+MARISHA: Skulls are bad guys.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it��s good annotation.
+
+LAURA: Smart!
+
+LIAM: Mountain range.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, you recognized it as a mountain
+range! That’s great!
+
+TALIESIN: Who wants the coin in the morning, by
+the way?
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: I think this is a clever system.
+
+SAM: We haven’t used it, yet.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, but in the morning, somebody gets
+it.
+
+SAM: I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: Nott’ll take the Fragment of Probability in
+the morning. We’ll pick this up next Thursday!
+
+Also, we’re going to have a guest next week.
+
+LAURA: We are?!
+
+MATT: I’ve told you this a number of times.
+
+LIAM: I remembered, Matthew.
+
+MATT: Thank you.
+
+SAM: Playing the kenku?
+
+MATT: No. We have a guest: my brother from another
+motherland for the past decade in the world of
+
+D&D. Some of you may know him from his online D&D
+stream, High Rollers: Mark Hulmes will be in town
+
+and joining us as a guest next week.
+
+LIAM: No Englishmen.
+
+MATT: Too bad, he’s coming.
+
+MARISHA: We already had Kit. We already had an
+Englishwoman.
+
+LIAM: She was the last one.
+
+SAM: (exaggerated American accent) But only if he
+does an American accent.
+
+MARISHA: I want full Benedict Cumberbatch.
+
+SAM: (exaggerated American accent) I’m from
+California.
+
+MATT: If we could get it out of him at some point,
+that’d be great.
+
+TALIESIN: I love a fake American accent.
+
+MATT: Mark’s a long-time friend. He came and
+watched the show live when we first started
+
+streaming long ago. Happy to have him come in and
+join us next week. Excited for that, Mark. We’ll
+
+see you then. The rest of you, rest well, have a
+wonderful weekend. You as well. We love you, and
+
+is it Thursday yet? Good night!
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play
+Dungeons & Dragons.
+
+SAM: Dirty ass voice actors?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Is that what you said?
+
+MATT: That is what I said.
+
+LIAM: That’s accurate.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Before we go into tonight’s game, we
+have a couple of quick announcements to go
+
+through, one of which is kind of awesome. First
+and foremost, we have our fantastic friends and
+
+sponsors of this campaign thus far and going on to
+infinity, D&D Beyond. Sam, if you want to talk a
+
+little bit about that, please.
+
+SAM: Hey everybody, D&D Beyond wanted you guys to
+know that Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes is out.
+
+Big news here guys, it’s not Mordenkainen’s, and
+it’s not a Tomb of Foes, as I’ve been saying it.
+
+It’s Mordenkainen’s Tomb– Tome of Foes. Fuck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: You can purchase it right now at D&D Beyond
+on their website. Also, if a player in your
+
+campaign has a master level subscription, any
+player, not just the DM, that owns Mordenkainen’s
+
+Tome of Foes can share content with everyone in
+the party. But the real announcement tonight is
+
+that D&D Beyond has gone beyond. They’ve made a
+thing that I made, but then they took it and they
+
+made it, but it’s even better than I made it.
+We’re going to play it for you tonight, and you
+
+might enjoy it. Have you guys seen it yet?
+
+LIAM: We’re about to!
+
+SAM: It’s so good! Okay, roll that tape.
+
+[drum intro]
+
+♪ You got the perfect warlock, ♪
+
+♪ her weapons and supplies ♪
+
+♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪
+
+♪ ‘cause you’re so disorganized! ♪
+
+♪ You click open the web page ♪
+
+♪ you heard about on Critical Role ♪
+
+♪ And now you’re ready to kick some butt ♪
+
+♪ in that mineshaft full of gnolls! ♪
+
+♪ It’s D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond ♪
+
+♪ Yeah D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond ♪
+
+♪ You got your stats, you got your sword ♪
+
+♪ and you’ve got your invisible wand! ♪
+
+♪ It’s D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D! ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond! ♪
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: That’s amazing.
+
+TRAVIS: Holy shit!
+
+SAM: Yeah, they did it.
+
+LAURA: It was so wonderful! We’re an 80s cartoon,
+guys!
+
+SAM: It’s so good.
+
+MATT: It’s weirdly emotional.
+
+SAM: It’s all of our characters, animated! We have
+to give some shout outs to Kamille and Kevin
+
+Areopagita for working on this. Those were the
+animators. Go visit at Twitter @Karekareo. We’ll
+
+put it up on the thing. You can visit their
+Patreon, Patreon.com/kiframe. It’s really cool,
+
+and it’s really fast, so we thought we might play
+it again.
+
+ALL: (chanting) Again! One more time!
+
+[drum intro]
+
+♪ You got the perfect warlock, ♪
+
+♪ her weapons and supplies ♪
+
+♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪
+
+♪ ‘cause you’re so disorganized! ♪
+
+♪ You click open the web page ♪
+
+♪ you heard about on Critical Role ♪
+
+♪ *And now you’re ready to kick some butt ♪
+
+♪ *in that mineshaft full of gnolls! ♪
+
+♪ It’s D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond ♪
+
+♪ Yeah D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond ♪
+
+♪ You got your stats, you got your sword ♪
+
+♪ and you’ve got your invisible wand! ♪
+
+♪ It’s D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D! ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond! ♪
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you, Sam!
+
+SAM: It’s not me, it’s them! It’s the D&D!
+
+TRAVIS: Those fucking vocals, son. That shit.
+
+MATT: How layered was that harmony at the end?
+
+SAM: I did like seven or 12 tracks of harmony.
+There’s all kinds of stuff going on.
+
+TRAVIS: The synth gives me 80s life in the best
+way.
+
+SAM: The drum fill at the end: there’s a real drum
+fill, but it’s also me going: Do do, do do, do do.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Seriously, Kamille, Kevin Areopagita, you
+guys are amazing. Such an incredible job on that.
+
+I want to plug their Patreon again because they
+deserve it. That’s patreon.com/kiframe. Go check
+
+out their work. They’re fantastic.
+
+ASHLEY: Unreal.
+
+TRAVIS: I will be watching that on repeat until
+3:00am.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Yeah, I know.
+
+LIAM: Can we all cry if we can get the whole game
+tonight?
+
+MATT: It wouldn’t be Critical Role if we didn’t at
+some point. Thank you, D&D Beyond, for being
+
+fantastic partners in this and for making that
+shit happen! (voice cracking) Okay, moving on. Oh man.
+
+LIAM: (voice cracking) Emotional cry!
+
+MATT: I know! Vox Machina: Origins, the hardcover,
+the physical copy went on sale today! It is
+
+available for purchase now through our friends at
+Dark Horse. You can find all the details at
+
+critrole.com. It includes the collection of the
+six issue, Vox Machina: Origins comic arc,
+
+previously digital release only, as well as a
+bunch of extras in the back. The art process and
+
+the designing of the characters, a whole map of
+Stilben, and a bunch of information about some of
+
+the characters, creatures, and items that you see
+throughout the story, for possible use in your
+
+home game. But anyway, check it out. I hope you
+enjoy it. We’re real proud of it. Stream of Many
+
+Eyes starts tomorrow. Ashley and me are going to
+be playing on a game tomorrow night for Force Grey
+
+and then a bunch of us are going to be there on
+Sunday throughout the day doing various games. You
+
+can check out dnd.wizards.com/SoME for all the
+information for this weekend. If you can’t be
+
+there in person, they are streaming it so at least
+you can check it all out there. It’s going to be a
+
+lot of fun. Cool reveals, and crazy stuff.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: So crazy.
+
+MATT: It’s so crazy. Talks Machina is every
+Tuesday evening at 7:00pm Pacific where our
+
+fantastic, recently-escaped-from-the-Far-Realm
+Brian W. Foster will be hosting. This is discussed
+
+next week on the things that happened in this
+week’s episode you’re about to see. So check it
+
+out. It should be fun. I will be at A-Kon, June
+8th to the 10th. So in a couple weeks, I’ll be out
+
+there at Dallas/Fort Worth for panels, signings
+and going to talk and hang out with people as much
+
+as I can. So if you’re in that area, come say
+hello! I believe–
+
+LAURA: Wait, I’ve got one thing.
+
+MATT: Oh, what you got? What you got, Laura?
+
+LAURA: Oh well, I was just perusing our store
+recently because sometimes I do that.
+
+SAM: Full of good stuff!
+
+LAURA: It is full of good stuff, but something I
+noticed that we haven’t announced is that the
+
+rings that we had forever ago.
+
+TRAVIS: The d20 ring?
+
+LAURA: The d20 spinner rings? Those things are in
+the store right now. I don’t know if we found a
+
+stockpile of them that we had missed, but there
+are some in the store right now. Just so you
+
+know.
+
+TRAVIS: Where the 20 is the CR logo, too?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: I know, we just found some, I guess,
+because they’re there! There’s a bunch of other
+
+stuff, too, t-shirts and stuff, but the spinner
+ring is there for maybe five more seconds. Maybe.
+
+I don’t know.
+
+MATT: I do like the idea that we have mystery
+caches of old items showing up. It’s a perpetual
+
+surprise! You’ll never know what you’ll see!
+
+LIAM: And new items. New items on sale right now.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s so pretty!
+
+LIAM: Look at this. Also, hi, Dread Singles, feel
+better! Look at that! Look at it on paper! Look at
+
+the color! We can hold it and taste it and smell
+it!
+
+MATT: Olivia Samson, our fantastic Critter artist,
+did such a great job on this series. If you
+
+haven’t had a chance to look at her work, please
+do. She’s amazing. And on that note, let us all
+
+jump in to tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+TRAVIS: (drum beat)
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: And welcome back. That was pretty creative.
+Well done.
+
+LIAM: He would totally do that.
+
+MATT: Hmm, that’s a 6th-level spell. Anyway,
+welcome back. To catch up on what previously
+
+occurred. The Mighty Nein had decided to leave
+Zadash in the wake of the now declared war between
+
+the Dwendalian Empire and the Xhorhasian hordes to
+the east. You decided to side with The Gentleman,
+
+a purveyor of various darker and underhanded deeds
+throughout this side of the Empire who offered you
+
+two possible contracted options. You chose both
+and proceeded onto your first leg of this journey
+
+to the northeast to the Labenda Swamp and to the
+city of Berleben where you were tasked to discover
+
+what had happened to a safe house of which various
+smuggled goods would be stored and then
+
+transported through, that had gone dark for a
+number of weeks. You packed up, made your way in
+
+that direction, traversed through the outskirts of
+the swamp, managed to save a tiny bird friend from
+
+being consumed by a few large crocodiles and
+scoured the swamp city of Berleben in search of
+
+some means of information to find the individual
+that The Gentleman says would be able to help you
+
+in this journey, Febron. Febron was found, drunk
+and disorderly, in the Keystone Pub.
+
+LAURA: That’s so sexy.
+
+MATT: Oh, so sexy. He’s a right nice one. But no.
+You managed to interrogate him, made him an offer
+
+he couldn’t refuse and he agreed to lead you onto
+where the safe house exists within the swamp. You
+
+rented out the rooms in the subterranean chambers
+of the old and almost collapsed pub. You separated
+
+yourselves for the evening, completed your rest
+and we pick up as morning comes to greet you.
+
+Lightless, as there are no windows and you just
+eventually come to on what you assume is an
+
+evening’s full rest. You all independently come to
+shake your heads and get yourselves prepared for
+
+what the next day’s journey arises, you gather
+your things and you glare at the rather awkward
+
+Febron across the way, who, as you wake up, is
+just sitting there watching you sleep.
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Ew.
+
+ASHLEY: You’re so creepy. I’m going to pull the
+bed out from the door. Are you ready to get up?
+
+MATT: Well, I mean, I’m ready to do whatever you
+want. Lead the way.
+
+ASHLEY: Great. (retches) Okay. Open the door,
+we’ll head upstairs.
+
+MATT: You guys begin to–
+
+LAURA: We wake up all cuddled in a pile in our
+room.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Just floofy with Kiri in between.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: A little cuddle pile.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “It’s sharp!”
+
+LAURA: You don’t sleep with the daggers, Kiri. You
+want to remove them.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: We should have taught her that last night.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, that’s pretty– I’m glad we’re
+alive.
+
+MATT: You guys all begin to gather and make your
+way up the ladder, through the hatch in the floor
+
+of the Keystone Pub, which is not bustling by any
+means. There are maybe three patrons in the
+
+process of having their morning ale. You glance
+over the side and you can see Dent Bonswallow
+
+who’s in the process of cleaning off a number of
+the glasses from the night before. He looks over
+
+in your direction and goes, “Oh, right. Bright
+morning to you all. Rise up! Would you like
+
+breakfast of some kind, hey?”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a lot of fucking energy this early
+in the morning. God. (clears throat)
+
+LAURA: I would like so much of whatever you have,
+please, thank you.
+
+MATT: “Right. Coming right up! Go an find a place
+to sit, be with you in about an hour.”
+
+ALL: An hour?!
+
+MATT: “Well, I’ve got to make your food!”
+
+(grumbling)
+
+TRAVIS: Do you have to go and kill it first?
+
+MATT: He’s counting. “About an hour.”
+
+LAURA: Ugh. That’s a long time.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. What are we going to do until then?
+
+SAM: It’s like an Easy-Bake Oven.
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, should we explore the street that
+we’re on? I mean, we’ve got a long wait time.
+
+SAM: Should we see if the– oh, no. The horses
+were taken.
+
+TRAVIS: They took the cart.
+
+LAURA: To the stables.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s all situated there. There is,
+in the far corner of the chamber, the back wall
+
+opposite to the right of where the stage is being
+constructed– though right now, it looks like
+
+there’s no current construction going on at the
+moment– a hooded figure is slowly walking towards
+
+the table where you guys are deciding or not
+whether to sit.
+
+LAURA: We run for it and we get the table first.
+
+MATT: Okay. You manage to sit on one of the small
+benches on the side. Scrapes the ground as you
+
+push into the side and the–
+
+MARISHA: I take my staff and I lay it long ways
+over the entire bench on the other side.
+
+TRAVIS: The old movie theater grab?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: The cloaked figure stops and takes in this
+physical display, and then continues to approach.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin walks to the edge of the table and
+shows his butthole by lifting his tail up.
+
+MATT: Mark, if you want to step in.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: We’re always so mean to the guests!
+
+MATT: Mark Hulmes, long-time friend, dungeon
+master of High Rollers.
+
+LIAM: I just can’t believe he got here.
+
+MARK: You tried.
+
+MATT: The first thing you see: the individuals you
+have been waiting throughout the evening to show
+
+up begin to step through, groggily complain about
+the space and then claim a table as you begin to
+
+approach, which you are greeted with stares and a
+cat butthole.
+
+LAURA: This table is taken by The Mighty Nein, but
+if you need anything, there’s other tables.
+
+MARK: Oh yeah. Hi, actually, I kind of– You see
+this feminine-looking figure. Long black hair that
+
+covers almost the entire side of her left face,
+wearing a hood up, dark green cloak, black and
+
+green clothes, you can occasionally see green
+ribbons in her long hair. She is like: I’m really
+
+sorry to bother you guys, just– I couldn’t help
+but overhear some conversation you had last– I’m
+
+sorry to be really forward. Are you heading into
+the swamp today?
+
+MARISHA: You were listening in to our
+conversations?
+
+MARK: Not on purpose. I’m really desperate to find
+a way into the swamp and you were talking really loudly.
+
+LAURA: I like your ribbons.
+
+MARK: Thank you. Oh my– you’re blue! And she
+(gasps) And she looks up at you.
+
+LAURA: You’re not.
+
+MARK: No. I mean, you’re so cute! And looks
+around.
+
+TRAVIS: If you don’t mind us asking, why are you
+heading into the swamp yourself?
+
+MARK: Oh. Well, it’s kind of a long story just–
+
+LIAM: Oh, well we have an hour.
+
+MARK: It’s also a bit of, well, I mean. You guys
+haven’t been hired by any creepy people in dragon
+
+masks, have you? You don’t know anyone like that?
+
+MARISHA: I mean, not for several years for a
+different reason.
+
+TALIESIN: Definitely a long time since I’ve dealt
+with anyone in a dragon mask.
+
+LAURA: I’ve never seen anyone in a dragon mask
+before.
+
+SAM: We’ve been hired by creepy people, but not
+by– Oh, so I’m wearing a mask, but that is a
+
+different kind of mask. It’s not a dragon mask.
+
+MARISHA: Same kind of creepy, though.
+
+LAURA: And this is a bird.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+MARK: What is that?
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: A bird.
+
+MARK: Like, it walks around?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “A bird.”
+
+LAURA: She. She walks around.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “She walks around.”
+
+TRAVIS: Repeats stuff, yeah.
+
+MARK: Oh my god.
+
+LAURA: She’s kind of the best.
+
+MARK: She’s adorable! Hello?
+
+MATT: (like Cali) “Hello?”
+
+SAM: She’s doing you.
+
+MATT: (whistles)
+
+MARK: (stuttering) Oh my god.
+
+LIAM: Edubation.
+
+MATT: She pulls a dagger out.
+
+LAURA: No! Probably not so much like that.
+
+MARK: Wow. I’ve never seen a bird like that before
+that can talk. Is that your daughter?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. Yep. Mm-hmm.
+
+SAM: Yes, he’s my dad.
+
+MARK: I can tell by the ears.
+
+LAURA: And the green.
+
+MARK: Yeah, that’s what I thought. Green ears and
+then like the– anyway. Sorry, I’m getting
+
+distracted from what you asked me. That happens
+sometimes. Just give me a nudge and I’ll get back
+
+on track. There’s something out in the swamp.
+There’s somewhere, like a smuggler’s holdout or
+
+like a storehouse, I think maybe.
+
+LAURA: Mm. Weird. That’s crazy.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a weird thing to put in the
+middle of a swamp.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, well, anyway. What it is that you
+need with that, though?
+
+MARK: Well, somebody was transporting an item I’m
+looking for and I think it’s there and I need to get
+
+it before some other people get it. But I’m not
+stealing it. Well, I kind of am stealing it, but
+
+I’m taking it back for a good reason.
+
+LAURA: Is it the people in the dragon masks that
+want it?
+
+MARK: Yeah, it is. You look trustworthy.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you getting paid for this item
+retrieval?
+
+MARK: Me?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARK: No. It’s more of a personal thing. I want to
+make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands.
+
+LAURA: Is it your underwear?
+
+MARK: What?
+
+SAM: Yeah. What’s the item? I mean. I’m sure my
+father would want to know what’s the item.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Your underwear?”
+
+MARK: Well, it’s a bowl? I know that sounds weird.
+I think it’s part of a ritual and I need to get it.
+
+SAM: Like a bowl or a bowl?
+
+MARK: I’ve never seen a bowl like that. You
+couldn’t get a lot of soup in a bowl like that
+
+big. I mean a big bowl.
+
+LAURA: It’s a soup bowl, then?
+
+TRAVIS: What have you been doing after school?
+Honey?
+
+SAM: After-school activities.
+
+MARK: You have a very comfortable relationship.
+It’s really nice to see, to be honest.
+
+TRAVIS: Very open, yeah. We’re like best friends.
+
+SAM: I tell him everything.
+
+MARK: That’s good. You need to have that trust
+between family.
+
+LIAM: You want to have a big bowl.
+
+TRAVIS: So you’re searching for a bowl.
+
+MARK: Yeah. That’s right.
+
+TRAVIS: And used in rituals?
+
+MARK: I think so, yes. I need to make sure it
+doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, that’s all.
+
+TRAVIS: Our business might be headed out that way
+a little later today. Does she have any weapons on
+
+her that are visible?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Not me!
+
+MARISHA: You’re not Grog anymore, it’s okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. That’s okay. 17.
+
+MATT: All right. Glancing about–
+
+MARK: There’s no obvious weapons that you can see
+on her, but she has this long green cloak that’s
+
+really covering her left side and you would
+probably see that there’s black scales all over
+
+her left side and she’s deliberately holding her
+arm completely hidden. Her arm’s invisible
+
+underneath the cloak.
+
+LIAM: Also, I’m wondering if she seems
+straightforward. Is the nervousness an act?
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay.
+
+MATT: Welcome to playing with Caleb.
+
+LAURA: Insight check. Insight check!
+
+MARK: I know. I’ve seen this show.
+
+LIAM: It’s a 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Okay. It seems to be rather forthright.
+Yeah. Seems to be on the level.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: Which is not a good answer.
+
+MATT: Yeah. She seems nervous.
+
+LIAM: Could go either way on that.
+
+MATT: You know, based on what you’re asking. As
+far as the features, if I recall, they’re was it
+
+half-elven?
+
+MARK: Yeah. The human half looks half-elven, ever
+so slightly elven features. Slightly pointed ear,
+
+but the left side covered.
+
+MARISHA: All right. So you’re looking for a bowl.
+A dangerous bowl.
+
+LAURA: A soup bowl used in rituals.
+
+MARK: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: You don’t want to get it in the wrong
+hands because–
+
+TALIESIN: Of people in dragon masks.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you think they’re sending people to get
+it there before you?
+
+MARK: I love your jewelry by the way. It’s really
+nice.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you. I’ve picked everything out
+myself. This is all put together.
+
+LAURA: (tinkling)
+
+LIAM: Also, why do these people want the bowl that
+you’re talking about?
+
+MARK: They’re– Do any of them have holy symbols
+or religious symbols anywhere on their person?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m literally covered in them.
+
+MARK: Of who?
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody. Literally, the coat is made
+up of seven different options.
+
+MATT: Everybody who is legal within the Empire.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes. But there’s also– yeah.
+
+MARK: Is the Platinum Dragon one of those?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I’m wearing a Platinum Dragon
+necklace.
+
+MARK: Okay. She notices the Platinum Dragon. Are
+you a worshipper of the Platinum Dragon by any chance?
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+MARK: Okay, yeah. Well, if you’re traveling with
+somebody who’s a worshipper of the Platinum
+
+Dragon, I guess I can trust you.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, good for us.
+
+LAURA: He’s incredibly trustworthy and he worships
+like crazy.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s what everybody says.
+
+MARK: Oh, by the gods, that’s–
+
+TALIESIN: Remind me to show you my tapestries.
+
+MARK: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that code for something?
+
+TALIESIN: No, it’s literally my tapestries.
+
+MARISHA: Just don’t touch them.
+
+LAURA: Because he’s had them wrapped around his
+weenie.
+
+MARK: Like. Oh my good– uh, well, um.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s high on sugar. Don’t listen to
+her. Anyway.
+
+MARK: Yeah. Have you ever heard of the Scaled
+Tyrant?
+
+TRAVIS and SAM: No.
+
+MARK: Well, it’s probably a good thing. They’re
+not a very nice goddess and the worshippers of her
+
+are after this bowl and I need to stop them
+getting it. They’re not good people.
+
+TRAVIS: And you have a reason to believe that they
+are expeditiously heading towards this bowl as well?
+
+MARK: They bought it and I think they’re after it
+now, yes.
+
+LIAM: This is a very tactless question, but you
+are talking about the Scaled Tyrant and you also
+
+are sporting some scales. Is that a coincidence or
+are they related?
+
+MARK: I’m sorry, a lot of people get really
+nervous when they see them. I’m not diseased or
+
+cursed or anything just– yeah, I’ve–
+
+LIAM: We’re pretty cool.
+
+MARK: She brushes the hair to her side and she
+adjusts the cloak and you can see the whole left
+
+side is black dragon scales and her hand is a
+draconic claw.
+
+LAURA and ASHLEY: Whoa!
+
+MARK: A black dragon tail sweeps out from under
+the cloak. I’m like a tenth dragon and some people
+
+get freaked out by that.
+
+MARISHA: You’re sure you’re just a tenth?
+
+MARK: Yeah, I think so. All I know is that a great
+ancestor of mine was a black dragon and I’ve
+
+inherited some of that.
+
+LAURA: Like a full dragon?
+
+MARK: Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told.
+
+MATT: “I think it’s pretty sexy to be honest.” You
+see Febron there, is this creepier old man,
+
+balding, little liver spotted, missing most of his
+teeth, one eye wandering a bit.
+
+MARK: Is he with you?
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LAURA: Well, he’s going to take us where we need
+to go.
+
+MARK: Oh, so–
+
+LIAM: He’s work for hire.
+
+MARK: Okay. All right. I’m just going to stand
+next to Caleb, away from this guy.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve had shorter conversations with
+family members. What’s your name?
+
+MARK: Oh, sorry. I’m Calianna, you can call me
+Cali.
+
+MARISHA: Kelly?
+
+MARK: Cali.
+
+MARISHA: Cali. Calianna, that’s cool.
+
+MARK: Hi! Nice to meet you all. What are your
+names?
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!”
+The little bird creature begins to chirp in your
+
+direction.
+
+MARK: That’s a really long name.
+
+LAURA: She’s Kiri.
+
+MARK: Oh, Kiri. Hello Kiri. I am Cali.
+
+MATT: (like Cali) “Hello Kiri. I’m Cali.”
+
+MARK: No you’re Kiri.
+
+MATT: (like Cali) “You’re Kiri.”
+
+MARK: No, I’m Cali.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+SAM: Only 56 more minutes until breakfast is
+ready!
+
+MATT: For the sake of expediency, you share what
+information you choose to in that space of time,
+
+but food does come to you piecemeal as your fine
+Dent Bonswallow friend decides to deliver it plate by
+
+plate as it arrives. It’s passable, most of it’s a
+little overcooked breakfast meats, bit of rubbery
+
+egg and that’s about it. A good swamp breakfast.
+
+LAURA: They need more sugar here.
+
+TRAVIS: Listen, we are kind of heading in that
+direction.
+
+MARK: I won’t be a burden or anything, but if you
+don’t mind me coming, I could use the help. The
+
+swamp, I’ve tried to go out in it by myself, and
+there’s something out there.
+
+LAURA: Gators. Giant ones.
+
+MARK: I’ve seen some of those, I avoided them.
+But there’s also something else. I haven’t quite
+
+seen it yet.
+
+MATT: (growling) You hear this deep, horrible
+growling sound that echoes around you.
+
+MARK: That’s it, I heard that noise.
+
+MATT: You see Kiri’s feathers fluffing up as she
+does it. (growling)
+
+SAM: Can you do that again, Kiri?
+
+MATT: (growling)
+
+SAM: Have we ever heard this sound before?
+
+MATT: It’s the sound of the crocodiles from the
+battle before.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin travels over to Kiri and starts
+going (purring) as he nestles against Kiri.
+
+MATT: Kiri starts fluffing and loosely purring
+back.
+
+MARK: Is that cat with you?
+
+LIAM: The cat is with me.
+
+MARK: Oh, cats don’t like me. They tend to really
+freak out.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes! I understand that completely. You and
+I, we’re going to be real close, I can feel.
+
+MARK: I think they can smell the dragon blood.
+
+TRAVIS: I know, they can tell.
+
+MARK: Are you a dragon as well?!
+
+TRAVIS: No. I’m allergic.
+
+LIAM: I take a step and a half away from Cali.
+
+LAURA: Cali, did you hear any howling in the
+swamp, because we heard there were howling
+
+monsters?
+
+MATT: Nothing that was howling-esque,
+necessarily, but you didn’t travel too far into
+
+the swamp.
+
+MARK: No, I didn’t really go that far deep in,
+with the gators and some shadows moving around. I
+
+know a little magic, but I’ve never fought before,
+so.
+
+SAM: You’ve never fought?
+
+MARK: No, I had a bit of a reclused upbringing. I
+learned magic, I know a few spells, and I learned
+
+how to control it a bit. Draconic blood gives me
+some magic, but I’ve never been in a real fight
+
+before.
+
+SAM: Caleb can teach you all about magic, he knows
+all the spells and he’s very wise.
+
+MARK: Really?
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MARK: Oh wow!
+
+TRAVIS: Although I don’t think we’re going to have
+time for that. If you’re going to join us, you’re
+
+going to have to work for your food, you
+understand?
+
+MARK: I do!
+
+TRAVIS: My name’s Fjord, by the way.
+
+MARK: Nice to meet you Fjord.
+
+MARISHA: Beau.
+
+MARK: Beau?
+
+LIAM: Caleb. Yeah.
+
+SAM: Bren.
+
+MARK: Bren?
+
+LAURA: Jester Fancypants.
+
+MARK: That’s a brilliant name.
+
+TALIESIN: Molly.
+
+ASHLEY: Yasha.
+
+MARK: I haven’t spoken to you. You’re very big.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I mean, that’s just me.
+
+MARK: I like your black and white hair, that’s
+cool.
+
+ASHLEY: Thanks.
+
+MARISHA: You’re very excitable.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “This is Kiri.”
+
+MARK: Cali.
+
+ASHLEY: So can you shoot out fire out your nose,
+and all that?
+
+MARK: Well, kind of.
+
+LAURA: Just the one, one nostril?
+
+MARK: I could try, yeah. It’s mainly if I breathe,
+it’s more acid. But I can control some fire as well.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have one little wing back there,
+too?
+
+MARK: No wings, just the tail and the claw.
+
+MARISHA: That would have been cool, though.
+
+MARK: The claw’s kind of sharp, I learned to fight
+with it a little bit.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I see it?
+
+MARK: Yeah, I’m just– Is there anybody else
+around in the tavern?
+
+MATT: There’s at this point, two other patrons,
+but they’re not really paying attention.
+
+MARK: I’ll put my back to them, and then I’ll move
+up to Yasha. She takes her cloak off and brings
+
+out this scaled–
+
+MATT: “Jesus Christ! That’s your arm?”
+
+MARK: Is that the–?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s Febron.
+
+MARK: Yeah it is.
+
+MATT: “Don’t get me wrong, I still think it’s
+pretty foxy.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s somehow even creepier.
+
+LAURA: You know what, I appreciate that you’re so
+accepting of everything, Febron.
+
+MARK: It is quite nice.
+
+MATT: “Been around as long as I have, you live a
+life of beggars can’t be choosers.”
+
+TALIESIN: And right back in the pit. Anyway.
+
+MARK: But yeah, I’m happy to help, and work, and
+do what you need me to do. I just really need to
+
+get this item. I need to make sure it–
+
+TRAVIS: I understand. Unfortunately, my daughter
+is very particular about shiny and expensive
+
+things, so if this bowl has any worth, I’m afraid
+we might need to be compensated for our troubles.
+
+Did you happen to bring any coin with you?
+
+MARK: Only a little. I could maybe trade you
+something for it, but I’d like to keep it on me
+
+for now, if you don’t mind. It’s a small trinket.
+It’s got a little bit of magic, but it’s just
+
+that– you can see on her human arm, it’s a silver
+bracelet with a charm token hanging off it with a
+
+green emerald.
+
+SAM: I love trinkets.
+
+MARK: It’s an arcane focus, I’m told, but it has a
+little magic to it.
+
+LAURA: Trinkets are pretty great.
+
+SAM: They are. They always have been.
+
+TRAVIS: We normally have a no stranger policy, but
+we’ll keep a close eye on you. If you get up to
+
+any tricksy business–
+
+MARK: I promise, no tricksy business from me.
+
+TRAVIS: I hear you talking still. Yeah, Yasha and
+Molly, they’ll remove your head for you. You
+
+understand?
+
+TALIESIN: Very gently and politely, but yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: You know what? I really like your scales.
+I would probably fashion a cool cover for my arm.
+
+LAURA: Yasha!
+
+ASHLEY: I’m not going to do it, I’m just saying
+it’s really cool. Full transparency.
+
+MARK: I’ll be good. I promise.
+
+MARISHA: We’re not responsible for any injury or
+death that you may sustain while traveling with
+
+us. Even if it is from a member of The Mighty
+Nein.
+
+TRAVIS: Should we have her sign something? I mean,
+should we have a release form?
+
+LAURA: I’ll write up a release form really fast.
+
+SAM: Oh! Illustrated?
+
+LAURA: Yes!
+
+SAM: Illustrate all the things that could happen.
+
+LAURA: Arms being chopped off. An axe to the face.
+I will illustrate being burned by fire.
+
+SAM: Castration.
+
+LAURA: Pulled apart by gators. Probably something
+creepy and howling eating you as well.
+
+LIAM: This is probably stating the obvious, but if
+you have not picked up on it yourself, we are kind
+
+of a pack of assholes.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use the colored ink from my
+mom to make it really gory.
+
+MARK: You’re not trying to burn me. You’re not
+threatening to kill me because I’m cursed. Yeah,
+
+you all seem lovely, really. You’re much better
+than most people I have to deal with, to be
+
+honest.
+
+LAURA: Here you go. You can sign this.
+
+MARK: Okay! Sorry.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: All right, we have a deal.
+
+TRAVIS: Good, you’re in.
+
+LAURA: Welcome to The Mighty Nein!
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Welcome to The Mighty Nein!”
+
+MARK: This bird is adorable!
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit there’s not– no, we’re not
+ironic any more!
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we’ll see how we are at the end of
+the day. Bet that’ll fix itself.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, that’s true.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we are. Because when we write the name
+down, it’s actually the Zemnian word for no. So
+
+even if there’s nine people, then–
+
+TRAVIS: You’re overthinking it Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a double entendre.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: Let’s go!
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, we haven’t eaten– oh yes, we have.
+Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Lots of pocket bacon.
+
+TALIESIN: We ordered coffee? We’re still waiting
+on coffee? Is there going to be a desert? Was
+
+there a desert menu? Can I get a container? Eggs
+never keep, anyway.
+
+MATT: You gather your things, finish off the
+remainder of your lackluster breakfast. At this
+
+point now, the morning air is chilled, though
+there is still humidity that permeates the swamp
+
+vicinity. You hear the bugs beginning to grow
+louder with the distant cicada/cricket sounds in
+
+the distance echoing through the swamp. There is a
+low fog that is fairly prominent this early in the
+
+morning. You can see about 15 or 20 feet beyond
+the barrier of the outer swamp before the moisture
+
+begins to pick up. You see just the shaded trunks
+of trees beyond that for another 60 or so feet
+
+before it becomes completely obscured by fog.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, it’s creepy!
+
+TALIESIN: Does it always do that?
+
+MATT: “This time of year it does. It’s just
+getting close to winter.”
+
+MARISHA: Do we have basically zero visibility?
+
+MATT: Not zero visibility. You have traveling
+about 30 feet of general visibility, and then it
+
+begins to get a little bit beyond that. At this
+point Febron chimes in. “Don’t worry, it burns off
+
+“a bit as the day goes on.”
+
+TRAVIS: Febron, any suggestions whether to move
+through the muck fine land or through the trees?
+
+MATT: “I mean, we’re going to go through all of
+it, really, but we’re going to head for the
+
+"outside of the Ounterloch.”
+
+TRAVIS: The where?
+
+MATT: “The Ounterloch.”
+
+MARISHA: Ounterloch.
+
+LIAM: Under the lake?
+
+MATT: “We’re heading towards the lake. We’re going
+to try and make our way around the outskirts of
+
+"it, but we’re going to have to coast through the
+swamp to get there. That way we’re not trudging
+
+"through the main central area too much.”
+
+SAM: Are we taking the cart? Or just going on
+foot?
+
+MATT: “Oh I wouldn’t recommend taking that with
+us, no.”
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll leave it, it’ll be fine, daughter.
+
+SAM: Sure, Papa. May I have my allowance now?
+
+TRAVIS: No. You’ve been naughty. No.
+
+ASHLEY: Nott-y.
+
+MARK: He’s a very stern dad.
+
+SAM: He is, but fair.
+
+MATT: As you guys are plotting a means out there,
+Kiri has the dagger out and is practicing little
+
+swings excitedly.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Kill all of it. Kill the fog, Kiri.
+
+MATT: Then she goes charging towards the fog.
+
+TRAVIS: And gets eaten.
+
+MARISHA: Aww. Damn it!
+
+MATT: It’s The Mist.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester’s regret.
+
+LAURA: I have to live with this for the rest of my
+life.
+
+MATT: Kiri has run past the barrier of The Puddles
+on the north side of the city and is now swinging
+
+wildly into the fog.
+
+LAURA: Oh shit! Kiri, come back, Kiri.
+
+MATT, MARISHA, and ASHLEY: (singing) Kiri come
+back!
+
+MATT: Runs back, feet leaving a trail behind as
+she’s stepping through two to three inches of
+
+swamp water across this district. (chirping)
+
+LAURA: You have to be careful. There’s lots of
+creatures around that could hurt you, you know.
+
+MATT: “There’s lots of creatures around that could
+hurt you.”
+
+LIAM: You always want to stick together. You never
+want to split the party.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, stay close. Stay close to us.
+
+MATT: She gets right behind Yasha and sticks right
+to her back with the dagger out on the opposite side
+
+going–
+
+LAURA: We should really give her like a sheath or
+something to put that knife away, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I think you tell kids to run with
+scissors, she’ll be fine. Can we check to make
+
+sure nobody’s following us as we’re heading out?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus four, 16.
+
+MATT: You take a moment to scout the vicinity. At
+this point in the morning, it’s maybe about nine
+
+o'clock or so judging by where you can see the
+source of sunlight in the somewhat clouded sky.
+
+Glancing around the city, not a lot of folks are
+moving. It seems like the nature of the swamp town
+
+is a little bit of a slower pace of living by the
+nature of the location. The few folks that are
+
+wandering around the streets are slowly getting to
+their daily chores and business. No one seems to
+
+be particularly interested. A few folks look over
+because you are a gathered motley crew on the edge
+
+of town, but there’s no one who seems to be very
+focused in what’s going on.
+
+MARISHA: We’re the best-looking people in this
+town, and that’s saying something.
+
+LIAM: This group is very inclined– we’re very
+skilled in arcane things. What is your specialty?
+
+MARK: Oh, well. You know how some people learn
+magic from books and some people get magic from
+
+gods and stuff, right?
+
+LIAM: Gods and stuff, ja, okay.
+
+MARK: My magic comes from just me? The draconic
+blood, I’m told, has magical essences to it.
+
+LIAM: Yes. Cool. What can you do with it?
+
+MARK: Well, I don’t know if I should– It’s a lot
+of fire and acid, mainly. That seems to be related
+
+to the type of dragon I’m from.
+
+LIAM: Ja, effective.
+
+MARK: I can conjure fire. I can make a lot of
+fire. Varying of degrees of fire, really, and acid.
+
+LIAM: Do you have maybe one B-side besides the
+fire?
+
+MARK: Besides fire and acid, a little bit of poi–
+I can drain life force and invigorate myself a
+
+little bit.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Say “fire” one more time.
+
+MARK: Fire.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+MATT: “Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire.” (chirping)
+
+MARK: What kind of magic do you specialize in, Mr.
+Caleb?
+
+MATT: “Wrapped around his weenie.”
+
+TRAVIS: Good pull!
+
+MARK: You have magic with that? Is that like an
+implement or something?
+
+TRAVIS: Deep pull already! That was like 40
+minutes ago!
+
+MARK: You said that crows are really smart, so I’m
+guessing she knows– what?
+
+LIAM: There’s so much quicksand in this swamp. I’m
+feeling trapped. I feel like we have a little bit
+
+of overlap, you know. I’m able to–
+
+LAURA: He has lots of fire.
+
+MARK: Really? You don’t have any dragon blood in
+you, do you?
+
+LIAM: Nein.
+
+MARK: Oh, that’s good.
+
+TALIESIN and SAM: Nine dragons.
+
+MARK: You meant the Zemnian “nein.” Not the
+number.
+
+LIAM: Step off, Tiamat.
+
+TALIESIN: Well done. That’s a good joke.
+
+MATT: “So we good to go? Ready to move? The longer
+we take the more risk we run of getting there
+
+"about nighttime, and I would feel a bit nervous
+about that to be honest.”
+
+TRAVIS: No please, lead on. We’re quite anxious to
+get there.
+
+MATT: “Okay, so, who’s leading?”
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: You are.
+
+MATT: “I’m pointing the direction, no, but I’m not
+standing at the front.
+
+MARISHA: For 100 gold, I think you will.
+
+MATT: "100 gold, I’m pointing the direction, but
+look at me, I’m not going to defend you well.”
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, but we’ll be right behind you.
+
+MATT: “Yeah, but if I die first, you’re going to
+be lost in this swamp!”
+
+SAM: He’s only got one eye, he can’t possibly see
+what’s going on.
+
+TRAVIS: Fine, I’ll take the lead, who wants to
+join me?
+
+MARISHA: I’ll join you.
+
+LAURA: I will.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you both, don’t fight.
+
+MARISHA: If you want to like–
+
+LAURA: It’s fine, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Look, I’m trying to wingman you here
+right now.
+
+TRAVIS: What are you talking about?
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take the back.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll also go in the back.
+
+MARK: Yeah, I can shoot things at range or close
+up if need be.
+
+LIAM: If need be, but you know. Wait for the need
+to be.
+
+MARK: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Nott, where are you?
+
+SAM: I’m going to use my ring of water walking,
+and I’m going to be the same level as Beau except
+
+30 feet to the right. Just as a flanking–
+
+LAURA: I’m going to carry Kiri on my shoulders.
+
+MATT: Kiri on your shoulders?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so that she doesn’t have to walk
+through the muck.
+
+MATT: There’s Kiri. She’s up there with the two
+feathered arms flopped over and (chirping) looking
+
+around.
+
+ASHLEY: Holding onto your head like a kid.
+
+TALIESIN: Just feathers in your face.
+
+LIAM: I like where we are positioned, what do you
+think?
+
+MARK: I’ll go wherever you need me to. Mr. Fjord
+said that I’m to do whatever so I’ll go wherever.
+
+LAURA: How does she know there’s a J in your name
+really?
+
+TRAVIS: I honestly don’t have an answer for that.
+
+MARK: I was pretty sure you said “Fjord,” but
+okay.
+
+SAM: We’re all pretty sure about that.
+
+TRAVIS: You said it right, it’s “Ford.”
+
+MARK: Thanks, “Mr. Ford.”
+
+SAM: It’s “Mee-ster Ford.”
+
+MARK: “Mee-ster Ford.” All right, sure.
+
+MATT: (like Cali) “Mee-ster Ford.”
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus, Kiri. All right, let’s go.
+
+MATT: At this point Febron’s like, “All right so
+looking out this direction, this time of day–
+
+"that way! Lead on, big boy.”
+
+TRAVIS: All right. You’re actually going to be
+scouting, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
+
+MATT: As you guys begin to step past the outskirts
+of The Puddles, your feet begin to sink thicker
+
+and thicker into the swamp floor as you further
+and further step away from this little bastion of
+
+civilization. With each progressive footstep you
+can see the waves ripple past and then hit patches
+
+of thick elevated vegetation that’s growing and
+rotting in small clusters simultaneously. The tree
+
+trunks that are faded shadows begin to come into
+view and you begin to see these twisted, gnarled
+
+trees covered in vines that dangle down from these
+high boughs that barely cluster out sections of
+
+sunlight, and you pass out underneath those areas
+where bits of cloud begin to break through.
+
+LIAM: It was a joke.
+
+MATT: Ah, gotcha
+
+LIAM: I said, “Hi, Beaus.”
+
+MATT: Ah, boughs.
+
+LIAM: I know. But I said “Hi, Beaus.”
+
+TRAVIS: Three out of five.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s fine. In pushing this forward and
+guiding the path, I’m going to have Febron and
+
+whoever is keeping watch on the exterior to both
+make survival checks.
+
+MARISHA: What do you mean on the exterior?
+
+SAM: I’m keeping watch on the right.
+
+MARISHA: I’m keeping watch up front.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m looking on the back.
+
+LIAM: The gators come from the left.
+
+MATT: Right. Well this isn’t a perception check,
+this is to make their way through the swamp to
+
+keep track of what’s ahead, so I’m having Febron
+and one of you take point on that.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau.
+
+MARISHA: What kind of a check is this?
+
+LIAM: Survival.
+
+MATT: This is a survival check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Oh, I thought it was actually
+higher when I first looked at it. 17.
+
+MATT: Actually, you both rolled pretty high. Over
+the next two hours or so, you guys manage to keep
+
+for the most part above any of the deeper recesses
+of marsh water. Leaping from cluster of tree base
+
+and sections of ground that are mostly above the
+water line, it manages to go through without much
+
+of an issue. The fog does slowly begin to burn off
+as the hours progress, but it’s still present. You
+
+gather probably about the time you arrived at the
+end of day yesterday to the exterior of the
+
+Labenda Swamp, there was just a faint bit of fog
+at the ground. It will be a number of hours before
+
+you even reach that point, but it is progressing
+towards a more visible space. These two hours you
+
+guys continue forward, being mindful and watching
+around. Those who are keeping watch, I need both
+
+of you to make perception checks or one of you
+make it with advantage, your choice.
+
+MARISHA: It’s me and who?
+
+MATT: Whoever else is keeping a watch. You want to
+make it, Nott?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Do you want to make it with advantage or
+separate?
+
+SAM: Nah. One.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not great for me either. Six.
+
+LAURA: Oh, jeez Louise.
+
+SAM: Clear on the right!
+
+MARISHA: Clear on the front!
+
+TRAVIS: Right, front–
+
+MARISHA: (shouting) Clear on the left? Man, which
+way am I looking?
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s really reassuring when there’s a
+question mark on the end of your statement.
+
+LIAM: This is generally how it goes.
+
+MATT: Febron at this point’s still looking. He
+says, “Wait, hold on a second.” He starts doing a
+
+little circle in the area, checking out some of
+the recent trees, looking at the sun in the sky
+
+and he’s like, “Yeah. I feel like we’re going the
+right way.”
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, just to be clear: Your job– your
+only job was to walk to a building and back for
+
+god knows how many years and you think we’re
+going the right way?
+
+MATT: “Yeah, we don’t usually leave this early in
+the morning.”
+
+TRAVIS: Are you still drunk?
+
+MATT: (noncommittal grunt)
+
+TALIESIN: Do you need to be drunk?
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+LIAM and ASHLEY: Nott.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+LIAM: Not a problem. Bren, would you help our
+friend out?
+
+SAM: Oh. Yes, it’s me, Bren. Yeah, I’ll be right
+over.
+
+MARK: She’s oblivious, completely lost. She’s
+looking around like–
+
+SAM: Febron, do you have any cups? I don’t want
+you to–
+
+MATT: He pulls out a half-filled wineskin, opens
+it up, pours the water out.
+
+SAM: Have some booze. I’ll fill it to the brim.
+
+MATT: He looks curiously at the flask and the
+amount of liquid you poured in there.
+
+SAM: Cheers.
+
+MATT: “Cheers indeed. Tiny girl.” He watches as
+you drink the alcohol and is confused. Gets a
+
+closer look at you at this point and he goes–
+
+TALIESIN: Now is not the time to start making
+judgments, sir.
+
+MATT: “Right.”
+
+TALIESIN: Does that clear your memory?
+
+MATT: “Aye. It’s this way.” Make another survival
+check.
+
+MARK: Mr. Fjord, you’re very liberal with your
+parenting.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Sunny.
+
+LAURA: It’s just milk.
+
+MARK: Oh. That makes sense.
+
+MARISHA: Man, that’s really frustrating. Seven.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you both roll?
+
+MARISHA: Huh?
+
+MATT: Well, it was Febron and Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Seven. Not good. I keep getting so
+close.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we not get advantage?
+
+MATT: Well, this one they’re doing it
+individually, because you have somebody outside
+
+of– Along the path as you guys are progressing
+for the next hour or so, Febron and Beau are
+
+keeping pace on this. Keeping watch, moving
+forward, you step through some of the soggier
+
+areas of the swamp and your foot gets stuck a bit
+and it’s starting to get a little more difficult
+
+to traverse. Febron’s like, “It’s just a few more
+hours and we’ll make our way to the outskirts of
+
+"the lake. It’ll be a lot easier then, trust me.
+It’ll be fine.”
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MARK: Sounds great.
+
+MATT: At this point, Fjord, as you are stepping
+near the front you come around the corner and
+
+without notice there’s this strange sound. This
+(airy puff) and there’s a cloud of pollen-like
+
+spores in the air right where you are. I need you
+to make a wisdom saving throw, please.
+
+LAURA and ASHLEY: Oh no.
+
+SAM: He’s very wise, he’ll be fine.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh jeez.
+
+MARK: That’s always a good sign.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: You manage to pull back, coughing a bit, and
+your head goes dazed for a moment, but you manage
+
+to shrug it off. You guys look ahead and beyond
+the area where Fjord was pushing, around one of the
+
+trees you can see this large, 30-foot wide cloud
+of yellowish pollen that went (airy puff) and
+
+slowly settles into the swamp area.
+
+MARK: Blimey.
+
+TRAVIS: Can we see a source where it came from? A
+plant or a–
+
+MATT: There’s a whole mess of twisted vines and
+plant matter in the center of the space. Where it
+
+seemed to emit from, the center, though, you do
+see one large fern-type plant that’s left open and
+
+three or four large leaves that are spread
+outward.
+
+TRAVIS: I think that doesn’t look very
+hospitable.
+
+MARISHA: Febron.
+
+LAURA: We should avoid those, huh?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Is this a thing that happens, I’m
+assuming?
+
+MATT: “I haven’t actually seen this close to one
+of them. I usually avoid them. So let’s avoid it, eh?”
+
+MARK: Hello, Mr. Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah?
+
+MARK: I don’t know if this is– do you want me to
+burn it all away?
+
+TRAVIS: Cali, that is a very good idea.
+
+MARK: Like that area, right? Is that where it came
+from?
+
+TRAVIS: I mean, hoping the pollen’s not flammable,
+but sure try it.
+
+MARK: Is it flammable, Mr. Creepy Pervert?
+
+MATT: “First off, I resent that.”
+
+MARK: Do you?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+TALIESIN: I think the “Mr.” was pretty respectable, all
+things considered.
+
+MATT: “I’ll take that. I mean, I figure it’s
+probably in the way, burn it if you can. I don’t
+
+"trust it.”
+
+MARK: How wide radius is this area?
+
+MATT: This vicinity is about 30 feet around this
+particular plant in the center that’s lying open,
+
+face to the sky.
+
+MARK: 20-foot radius would–
+
+MATT: It would encompass the plant, definitely.
+
+MARK: Fireball. The dragon claw comes out, and
+this green flame magic coalesces. She flicks out
+
+this green orb that fires down, and when it hits
+it detonates.
+
+LAURA: Wow!
+
+MATT: It emits this large blast of orangish-red
+fire that burns in the area. Go ahead and roll
+
+damage.
+
+MARK: Can I have a d6 from somebody? I need six
+more.
+
+MARISHA: There’s three.
+
+TALIESIN: Feel free to dive through the bag for
+anything you need.
+
+LAURA: Dang it, I’m trying to get to my bag to
+help you, but–
+
+MATT: She’s filled with a baby.
+
+LIAM: Baby’s in the way. Get used to it.
+
+LAURA: I can’t bend. Whoa.
+
+MARK: I’m taking that, it’s a six.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+SAM: He’s a high roller.
+
+MATT and MARISHA: Ooh.
+
+MARK: That’s very good. That’s going to be 28
+points.
+
+MATT: 28 points of fire damage. This explosion
+immediately evaporates the fog in the area, and a
+
+large part of the ground now is dried off. You see
+this mist or steam (hiss) out of where the
+
+detonation happened. The plant in the center,
+which is now more visible, you can see snap shut.
+
+This giant three, four part maw closes in the
+space with these plant-like teeth. It’s still
+
+there, writhing in pain from the explosion. It
+laxes open a bit and begins to shift in your
+
+direction. It looks hurt, but still alive.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: It moves.
+
+LAURA: Sacred Flame.
+
+LIAM: Fire Bolt.
+
+MATT: All right, Fire Bolt, Sacred Flame, that’s
+cocked. That’s a 15.
+
+LAURA: Dex save.
+
+MATT: 15, yeah, so no Sacred Flame but–
+
+LIAM: 17 for Fire Bolt.
+
+MATT: 17 hits, roll damage.
+
+LIAM: Okay. That is not that much, actually.
+
+LAURA: That was a dex check, yes?
+
+MATT: Yes. Or no– yeah. For Sacred Flame, yeah.
+
+LIAM: That is a 12.
+
+MATT: 12?
+
+LIAM: Yes.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. As you slam it with the
+Fire Bolt, it (shrieks) and keeps moving forward,
+
+but it’s hurt.
+
+LAURA: Toll the Dead!
+
+MATT: Rolled another 15.
+
+LAURA: Damn it.
+
+LIAM: If you give me six second increments, I’m
+just going to go (releasing spells).
+
+MARK: When it’s within 60 feet, I can Acid Splash
+it as well.
+
+TALIESIN: Just for fun, (Infernal) stay down.
+
+SAM: Jesus.
+
+MATT: 16. Sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: Some days you can’t get rid of a bomb.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll give it a whirl. I’ll reach up near
+my eye, and you see this little arc of energy pop
+
+out from my eye towards my hand. I’ll throw it
+forward and cast Witch Bolt.
+
+SAM: Witch Bolt.
+
+LAURA and ASHLEY: Ooh.
+
+LIAM: Which bolt do you cast?
+
+MATT: You guys are all preparing your various
+cantrips and spells against it. It begins lurching
+
+forward. You can see the charred edges of this
+large vegetable plant. Then Fjord steps forward
+
+sending this arc of darker, gray-green energy that
+strikes into it. Roll damage– roll to hit first.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, thank you, yeah. Ten plus six, 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great. This is overkill, it’s 3d12.
+
+SAM: Oh shit.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s nine–
+
+MARISHA: Wow!
+
+LIAM: Good rolls!
+
+TRAVIS: 27 points of damage.
+
+MATT: As it strikes this large, trap-like plant,
+it hits the center of it. It bubbles up for a
+
+second, the green and red matter of the interior
+swells and then pops. Like a horrible flesh-filled
+
+water balloon spatters across various areas. You
+guys have to take a step back and it glides
+
+against your knees and thighs a bit.
+
+MARK: Can I use Shape Water to keep it out of my
+way? My cantrip just (disgusted groan).
+
+MATT: It just manages to avoid you. But it lies
+now, decimated and sinking slowly into the swamp
+
+water.
+
+MARK: Oh, sorry. I thought I’d kill it the first
+time. I’m sorry you had to do that.
+
+TRAVIS: No, it was a really encouraging display. I
+was not expecting it to be so durable.
+
+MARK: Yeah, me neither. I thought it was just a
+plant.
+
+LAURA: We should really avoid those in the future,
+huh?
+
+LIAM: Well that’s one in an entire swamp of
+vegetation. So we should be good now.
+
+SAM: How’s it going over there, guys?
+
+MARK: No, there’s going to be loads of plants, Mr.
+Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything on the right?
+
+LIAM: That is correct.
+
+SAM: Nope, all clear!
+
+MARISHA: Anything on the left?
+
+TALIESIN: Right.
+
+MARISHA: No, I’m asking for anything on the left.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there somebody on the left?
+
+TRAVIS: Not anymore with these rolls.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+MATT: Who else wants to make a perception check?
+
+LAURA: I would.
+
+MARISHA: I roll obnoxiously bad.
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Whoa.
+
+LAURA: Woo-hoo, 13!
+
+MATT: 13? Okay. A brief breeze blows through the
+swamp as you guys move on from this positioning.
+
+You hear a very faint hiss through the distant
+branches of the trees, singing in unison, as bits
+
+of leaves and vines clatter against themselves
+from the shift. But you manage to catch a sound
+
+upon the wind that is unfamiliar to the rest of the
+natural breeze. It’s like a chime. Like a wooden
+
+chime (dull thunks).
+
+LAURA: (whispering) I hear something.
+
+MARK: (whispering) What do you hear?
+
+LAURA: I hear a chime.
+
+TALIESIN: (gong)
+
+LAURA: No, like little wind chimes. Like we
+had at home.
+
+MARK: Oh, that sounds nice.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARK: It can’t be anything bad.
+
+LAURA: We used to hang them in our balconies.
+
+MATT: You can listen up and can hear it for a
+moment too as the breeze blows through a second
+
+time. Kiri makes the same sound (dull thunks).
+
+LAURA: It sounded like that!
+
+TALIESIN: Well done.
+
+MARISHA: Oh yeah. The little bamboo ones. Those
+are great.
+
+MATT: Looks like it’s a little bit northward of
+where you’re headed. A little north–
+
+LAURA: Febron, is that where the thing is, that
+we’re going?
+
+MATT: “I mean, it could be.”
+
+LIAM: North is that way.
+
+MATT: “It’s loosely on the way. If you trust it.
+We could avoid it, though.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, so it’s not the safe house, it’s
+another building, for sure?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know what the hell that is. I
+haven’t heard that out here before.”
+
+LAURA: We should find out what it is.
+
+TRAVIS: I actually tend to agree. I don’t want to
+leave things undiscovered.
+
+MATT: “Are you sure about that?”
+
+MARISHA: What did we pay you for?
+
+MATT: “I’m helping you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Are you?
+
+MARISHA: It’s questionable. It’s honestly
+debatable.
+
+MARK: He seems to be doing his best.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+MARK: Don’t thank me, you’re weird.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin. I’m going to sit on a relatively
+dry spot if I can find one. I’m going to go blind
+
+and deaf and send Frumpkin in the direction, with
+Jester’s help, towards the sound that she heard.
+
+MARK: I make it drier for Caleb, using Shape
+Water, dry out some of the area.
+
+MATT: Sure. You cause some of the swamp mass to
+pull back a bit.
+
+LAURA: That’s cool.
+
+TRAVIS: Surf pro.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin takes a little bit, because this
+terrain is not very conducive to prowling cats of
+
+Frumpkin’s size. But Frumpkin heads on for a bit,
+coming across the source of this sound. You see
+
+about 100 or so feet ahead in the direction
+where you heard the sound, hanging from one of the
+
+branches, there is indeed a cluster of carved
+chimes that are dangling from a piece of twine
+
+there. They’re banging into each other every now
+and then when the breeze slowly comes through.
+
+LAURA: Just in a tree.
+
+MATT: On a branch, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s creepy.
+
+LIAM: I will give the group a basic narration as I
+see these things.
+
+MATT: You can give a perception check for
+Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: My basic perception check is not too bad. It
+is a 16.
+
+MATT: 16, okay. From Frumpkin’s view underneath,
+you can get a close look at it, and the material
+
+of the chimes isn’t wood. It appears to be
+yellowed, old, dried, hollowed bone. The twine
+
+itself is not twine. It appears to have been
+tanned or dried sinew.
+
+TRAVIS: (disgusted) Oh, yeah.
+
+LIAM: What was that word?
+
+MATT: Sinew.
+
+TRAVIS: Super inviting. Just all the tendons.
+
+LAURA: Our wind chimes were made of wood.
+
+LIAM: How much of it are Frumpkin and I looking
+at? It’s one little ditty or are we talking True
+
+Detective here?
+
+MATT: Currently it’s just the one chime.
+
+LAURA: Does Frumpkin see anything around, like any
+living things?
+
+LIAM: I don’t hear shit.
+
+MARISHA: True.
+
+TALIESIN: Does this sound like some sort of ward
+against the undead?
+
+MATT: It doesn’t catch your mind as anything that
+is a defensive mechanism to undead that you would
+
+recognize.
+
+LIAM: It’s hanging from a tree?
+
+MATT: It is, about seven feet above Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: I am going to send Frumpkin up the tree.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I am going to send Frumpkin toward the
+branch.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin manages to climb the tree using the
+outside of the somewhat twisted bark, getting to
+
+the top. From that viewing point, as Frumpkin gets
+out there you can– (laughs)
+
+LAURA: Do you want to hold my hand? I try to hold
+Caleb’s hand?
+
+TRAVIS: (cat growling)
+
+SAM: It’s clammy.
+
+MATT: You do see from the top of the branch,
+beyond the edge of the fog, there looks to be a
+
+thick tree that has broken and fallen over about
+ten feet from the base. The heavy roots rise up
+
+into this trunk that still stands about nine or
+ten feet from the base of the swamp floor. It
+
+appears like there is a hollow carved into it,
+circular, and a curtain that is currently pressed,
+
+bolted, or nailed into it that is partially
+blocking an opening into the tree.
+
+LIAM: Like sealed or nailed in so it’s hanging
+down?
+
+MATT: It’s hanging down and every now and then a
+faint breeze comes through and you see it shift
+
+ever so slightly. But it’s a heavy material.
+
+LIAM: Okay, what I would like to attempt to do is
+send Frumpkin up to and stick his head inside, and
+
+as soon as I get a little peeky-poo, snap my
+fingers and bamf him out into the Fey.
+
+MATT: Okay. As Frumpkin– make a stealth check.
+
+ASHLEY: Come on Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: Come on Frumpy.
+
+LAURA: Lumpy Frumpy.
+
+LIAM: A big 13.
+
+MATT: Okay. Good to know.
+
+LAURA: It’s really good.
+
+MATT: It is better than 12.
+
+MARISHA: A baker’s dozen.
+
+LIAM: Remember when I used to get a 45.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin stalks up through, avoiding the
+sleight depressed elements of the floor that fill
+
+with the thicker bog water. Coming upon the
+outskirts you can see the curtain that hangs is
+
+not cloth. It appears to be a scaled leather-like
+material. Actually pretty similar to what you had
+
+carved from the crocodile the day before. But long
+weathered and it’s dry towards the top, but the
+
+base of it seems to have been progressively
+moistened by the swamp around it. As such, it’s
+
+slightly decomposing, and it has a bit of moss and
+algae that’s grown on it, giving it a lighter
+
+green at the tip. Looking inside, there is a layer
+of bones that are all broken, and chipped to the
+
+point where it’s given a textured base to the
+floor. From this view, you’re not able to make out
+
+what the bone source is or what they’re from. But
+there is a gentle layer of bones of varying
+
+degrees of age to them. Within there you also
+see– there is natural rot on the inside of this
+
+trunk, that’s let it easily be carved away. There
+appears to be a matted pile of something in the
+
+corner. Other than that, in the brief instant that
+Frumpkin’s paying attention, it appears to be empty.
+
+LAURA: That pile was definitely something
+sleeping.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin returns to his realm.
+
+LIAM: Oh yeah, like I was saying to you, there is
+a tree out there and there is something sleeping
+
+in it.
+
+TRAVIS: Did you hear anything, snoring?
+
+LIAM: No, but there are a lot of bones there. They
+looked like–
+
+LAURA: What kind of bones?
+
+LIAM: They are not chicken bones.
+
+LAURA: Like gator bones, maybe though?
+
+LIAM: Well, they were probably smaller than that,
+yeah?
+
+MATT: You didn’t get a good, long look at them.
+You literally got in quickly and went (poof).
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, bones aren’t normally a very good
+sign.
+
+MARK: That doesn’t seem very good.
+
+LIAM: There was something in the corner. Something
+that was not bones, but it wasn’t moving.
+
+LAURA: I bet it was a friendly person.
+
+LIAM: It definitely wasn’t the thing we’re
+looking for.
+
+TRAVIS: You didn’t happen to see a bowl, did you?
+
+LIAM: I did not see a bowl. I made a perception
+check.
+
+MATT: In the brief instant you looked in there,
+you got a few details in the interior before
+
+pulling way.
+
+LIAM: Yes, not bowls, just bones.
+
+LAURA: I’ll tell you what, let’s go to the safe
+house and then we’ll come back if we are not
+
+completely almost dead, and see what we see
+there.
+
+LIAM: Save it for a rainy day.
+
+TRAVIS: Very wise.
+
+LAURA: Especially if there is no bowl in the safe
+house. Then we know some other place to look for it.
+
+LIAM: This one’s a gimme, a bonus, only if we feel
+up to it.
+
+MARK: You’re all so brave.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you think we’ll be able to find our way
+back here? Should we mark a tree or something like that?
+
+LAURA: Let’s mark a tree.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got that.
+
+MARISHA: Cause Fabron doesn’t seem to know which
+way his ass is, so.
+
+MATT: “That’s not true at all.”
+
+TRAVIS: Which way’s your ass?
+
+MATT: “It’s right here.”
+
+LIAM: North is–
+
+MATT: “It’s that way.”
+
+LIAM: North is– no it is that way.
+
+MATT: “That’s what I said.”
+
+LIAM: You’re pointing over there, I’m pointing
+over here. North is that way.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to pull out my sword, and I’m
+going to carve into the side of the tree a big
+
+sign that says “Here Lies Salty Pete” with an
+arrow down, straight below.
+
+MARK: Who’s Salty Pete?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know, but it sounds like
+something awful happened to him, doesn’t it?
+
+MARK: Aw, that’s really sad.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have a way of magically marking
+this as well so we can have a bit of a compass?
+
+LIAM: A compass?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah like a point– can you do a thing
+where you can put a pin in this tree?
+
+MARK: Can you do that, Mr. Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Well, a couple things, one, this is a
+compass.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s true! Never mind.
+
+LAURA: Oh, we’ll find our way back.
+
+LIAM: That’s not an issue. But if you want to know
+if something’s happening here with Salty Pete, we
+
+can also do that if you give me ten minutes. But
+it doesn’t seem like that’s what you’re–
+
+TALIESIN: No, that’s not fair. As long as we can
+make our way back here again one way or the other,
+
+and I suppose that’s true.
+
+LIAM: I do not know where the safe house is, but
+anywhere we have been we can get to again.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough.
+
+LAURA: (singing) Let’s go to the safe house then.
+
+MATT: You continue moving on?
+
+TRAVIS: Lead on.
+
+MATT: Febron goes, “All right. That way,” and he
+points in the direction and ushers you forward.
+
+TRAVIS: You did a good job the first time, let’s
+take it up again.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+MATT: What pace are you moving at? Normal pace,
+slow pace, fast pace?
+
+SAM: We always move at a medium pace.
+
+MATT: Okay, medium pace it is.
+
+LAURA: Wait, hold on, let me look at what I have.
+I could cast Pass Without a Trace on anyone within
+
+30 feet of me.
+
+MATT: You could. You have to move at a slow pace
+to move stealthily, though.
+
+TRAVIS: I think our speed is halved in the
+conditions, right?
+
+MATT: For the most of it, yeah.
+
+LAURA: Oh, so it would be super slow.
+
+TRAVIS: Doing the slo-mo game.
+
+LAURA: Well, maybe not then. Maybe when we go back
+to the creepy tree, we can do that.
+
+MATT: As you continue on, Febron and– Beau, are
+you the other one with Febron doing the survival checks?
+
+MARISHA: I think so.
+
+MATT: Make one more.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil. Natural 20! Gil!
+
+MATT: As you guys begin to watch the treeline
+slowly thin, Febron’s like, “Oh, it’s a good sign.
+
+"We’re getting very close to getting out of this
+fucking swamp and getting next to the Ounterloch
+
+"that’ll lead us there. No issue, no more of this.”
+Right as he’s saying that, you watch him about to
+
+step into another one of those open plants that
+begins to quake, and you watch as it’s about to
+
+release this burst of pollen, Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I go: Oh, you’re about to– watch it!
+
+MATT: You don’t stop him, you just point it out.
+It goes (puffing).
+
+SAM: Nice, he’s dead.
+
+MATT: He goes, “What? (coughing)” and starts
+walking straight towards it.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I grab him. Can I reach out and grab
+him? Trying to cover my mouth.
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check for you to try and
+grapple him.
+
+MARISHA: Either that or we lose our shithole
+guide.
+
+TRAVIS: Which is really not losing much at this
+point.
+
+MARISHA: No. Okay, we lose our 100 gold
+investment. Athletics, right?
+
+MATT: Acrobatics. Sorry, athletics for you to
+grapple him.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Ooh! Nope, it’s worse than I
+thought. It’s real bad. It’s an eight.
+
+MATT: You reach and grab him, but he shrugs off
+your arm and starts walking.
+
+MARK: As he’s about to step, can I cast Levitate
+on him and lift him up into the air? He doesn’t
+
+step on it, with the claw, the green magic comes
+out and (whoosh) up into the air.
+
+MATT: He continues to walk towards it, and then
+glides up in the air and is floating. He’s
+
+reaching towards it, and the plant (slurping) and
+is trying to reach for him.
+
+MARISHA: I take my staff and bat him away like a
+helium balloon. Just start batting him back over
+
+away from it.
+
+MATT: He’s now floating and slowly rotating in the
+air, like (grunting).
+
+MARK: I’ll be raising him up and down, shaking him
+in the air, like, “Come on, shake out of it, come on!”
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we try to outmaneuver this one now.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I think we’ve already had our fun
+with the one.
+
+LAURA: I open my journal and start drawing him as
+a balloon.
+
+SAM: Hold on. We’re not done.
+
+TALIESIN: No, there’s a lot happening over there.
+
+MATT: It takes you the better part of a minute to
+finally shake him out of it, before he goes, “Oh,
+
+"is it– what? Shit! (yelling) Shit, what’s going
+on?!”
+
+LAURA: (shushing)
+
+MATT: The plant’s still below him, going like
+(slurping).
+
+MARK: Ms. Beau, could you nudge him off to the
+side? I’m getting tired of this.
+
+MATT: You poke him and he begins to glide over–
+
+MARK: Then I’ll lower him down–
+
+MATT: The plant is now turning towards him, slowly
+shifting in his direction, and he’s like “Backing
+
+"away, there’s a fucking–”
+
+MARISHA: Can I now grab him by the collar and try
+and drag him away?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you move around the side and you pull
+him away.
+
+MARISHA: Come on.
+
+MATT: You guys begin to pick up your pace. This
+plant is not very fast-moving, and you, even
+
+moving at your slower pace, it can’t keep up with
+you and it eventually gives up and disappears into
+
+the fog behind you.
+
+TALIESIN: The loneliest plant.
+
+MATT: I love that you roll a 20 to see it before
+him and and went, “Sure.”
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: I love it, it’s great.
+
+MARISHA: Watch your step, man! Ah.
+
+MATT: Yeah. All righty.
+
+LIAM: Febron. You’ve been through this swamp once
+or many times?
+
+MATT: “I’ve been through it a few times, but
+usually it’s with a group of other smugglers, and
+
+"they take care of me and protect me, like you are.
+Thank you.”
+
+LIAM: It’s a bit late in the game, but are you
+being completely forthright with us? Is he?
+
+MARK: You’re welcome.
+
+MATT: Make an insight check.
+
+LIAM: That is a natural one.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to read.
+
+LIAM: Can I make a suggestion, Febron? And I cast
+Suggestion on Febron.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I feel you should be completely honest with
+us from this point on, because you know, honesty,
+
+it’s the easiest thing to remember.
+
+MATT: “You know, I appreciate that. I don’t
+appreciate you casting spells to fuck with all my
+
+"mind and shit. But I’ve been honest! I’m going to
+make some honest coin, and I’m doing my fucking
+
+"best, all right? Now come on, it’s this way.”
+
+LIAM: It’s that way.
+
+MATT: “(stuttering) Not north, where we’re going!”
+At this point, you guys can see the very edge of
+
+the water is now starting to show through the fog
+and you can see where bits of the lake are hitting the
+
+shoreline, and you have reached the Ounterloch in
+the middle of the Labenda Swamp.
+
+LAURA: Hey, there’s a lake!
+
+TALIESIN: With that, life delivers a pleasant
+surprise.
+
+LAURA: Febron.
+
+MATT: “Yeah?”
+
+LAURA: Are there monsters in this lake?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know, I don’t go into it. I
+recommend not getting too close, just in case. We
+
+"usually stay right on the coastal side of it, you
+know?”
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: “Perfect.”
+
+LAURA: (splashing)
+
+MATT: “No, what’re you doing?! No, shit!”
+
+LAURA: Then I go back out. I just wanted to see.
+
+MATT: The whole time you’re doing that, Kiri’s
+like (chirping). Who’s keeping watch on this?
+
+SAM: Keeping watch?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+SAM: What do you mean?
+
+MATT: I need you and probably Beau, since you were
+with Febron before, make a perception check, please.
+
+TRAVIS: Ooh, 17 plus one. 18.
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys are trudging along on the
+bank of this lake, heading northward, Fjord, out
+
+of the corner of your eye you see a shadow shift
+in the trees to the left of you. You glance back
+
+and you see something disappear behind a tree,
+about 40, 50 feet off.
+
+TRAVIS: Hold. I saw movement. Off to our side, 40
+to 50 feet into the trees.
+
+SAM: Which side?
+
+MATT: To the left side.
+
+SAM: There’s nothing over here on my side.
+
+MARK: Should we pretend like we haven’t seen it,
+we should just carry on as normal?
+
+MARISHA: No, that’s not– just no one move.
+
+MARK: Okay.
+
+LAURA: We just freeze?
+
+TRAVIS: Fan out a little bit.
+
+LIAM: If we don’t move, that’s also a little
+weird.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, fan out. Who wants to move towards
+it with me?
+
+ASHLEY: I will move towards it with you.
+
+MARK: I’ll come.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take out my blade.
+
+MARK: I’ll come with you.
+
+LIAM: I walk in the opposite direction.
+
+TALIESIN: Fighters move forward, magic peoples
+hang back.
+
+LAURA: Maybe I shouldn’t move forward.
+
+MATT: So you guys are heading towards the shadow
+you saw?
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, Molly, Cali, and Fjord. We’ll walk
+towards it.
+
+LAURA: I stay right where I am.
+
+TRAVIS: But fan out, not together. Maybe ten, 15
+feet in between us. Like a fire line.
+
+LIAM: Let’s go, I say as I walk backwards.
+
+MATT: Fjord, Molly, and Yasha like that?
+
+MARK: I’m going as well.
+
+MATT: And Beau?
+
+MARK: And Cali, right?
+
+LIAM: That mini.
+
+TRAVIS: But fanned fire line.
+
+LIAM: Oh, the tail’s there!
+
+MARISHA: Look at you!
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+MARK: That was a real rush job that I had to order
+a day before I flew out.
+
+MARISHA: You’re smexy.
+
+LIAM: Just pull it over here for a second.
+
+MATT: You begin to turn and approach and you guys
+form your line moving forward. You watch as
+
+something lumbering moves. It’s still on the edge
+of the fog, and it shifts from the tree where it
+
+was to a tree further back and then ducks behind
+another tree. It’s not very stealthy, though it
+
+thinks it might be.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it moving fast– easily in this
+terrain?
+
+MATT: It seems to be moving fairly easily in the
+terrain.
+
+LAURA: What is it?
+
+LIAM: (as Gollum) What is it?
+
+MARK: (as Gollum) What did you say?
+
+MARISHA: All right, I’m going to stealthily do
+some monk (footsteps) up to it a bit.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it’s something nice!
+
+MARISHA: See if I can get a better look.
+
+MATT: Okay, make a stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, 14.
+
+LAURA: What’s happening?
+
+MATT: Okay. As you tiptoe through the edges,
+leaping from cluster of root to cluster of root,
+
+being as quiet as you can, you come around the
+first tree where this figure had vanished, look
+
+around to where it’s currently waiting and you see
+two trees that grew together and a large rock
+
+that’s wedged at the base of it. Crouched below,
+behind the rock, you see this bulbous humanoid
+
+creature, with a deep green-blue skin tone with
+little pustules and boils on it, at the edges of
+
+the shoulder and arm. You see long stringy black
+hair that goes past the front of the chest. The
+
+torso appears to be swollen, this belly protruding
+beyond it. You can see hanging around the neck
+
+other pieces of hollowed bone, very similar to
+that chime that you saw being described by Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: Is it a troll?
+
+MATT: It appears to be trollish in nature. The
+pustules and part of its body, there’s this thick
+
+green liquid that’s oozing out in places. It’s
+sitting there clinging to the rock with its long
+
+fingers, clutching it, looking over in the
+direction of where you were, breathing heavy.
+
+MARISHA: Does he see The Mighty Nein?
+
+MATT: It seems to be looking in the direction
+where you were.
+
+MARISHA: But he doesn’t see me.
+
+MATT: He doesn’t see you at the moment, no.
+
+TRAVIS: (whispering) Do not see me!
+
+MARISHA: How far away am I from him?
+
+MATT: You’re about 35 feet from it.
+
+MARISHA: Could I theoretically throw something
+behind him?
+
+MATT: You could certainly try.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, sure. I’m going to take out a
+handful of ball bearings and try and toss them.
+
+MATT: Make a sleight of hand check to do so
+without making a very visible toss.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, right? No sound at all.
+
+MARISHA: 24– 22.
+
+MATT: You take the handful and lob them quietly,
+as far as you can. You hear very faint impacts of
+
+them about 25, 30 feet off. The trollish creature
+goes (snarling) and pushes off the rock a bit,
+
+looking that direction. Looks over the rock, looks
+back in that direction. It’s now looking like he’s
+
+paranoid and keeping tabs on both sides.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to stealth back.
+
+MATT: Make another stealth check.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+MATT: You manage pull back to the rest of the
+group as you guys are holding your line, waiting
+
+for Beau to return.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a troll. Like a–
+
+TRAVIS: Toucan? With a belly?
+
+ASHLEY: He’s got a beak?
+
+MARISHA: No. He’s like a troll.
+
+LAURA: (loudly) What are you saying, Beau?
+
+TRAVIS: Shh, Jester!
+
+MARISHA: I think he knows we’re here. But he’s a
+slimy undead troll-like guy.
+
+MARK: That sounds really bad. Let’s not go near
+it.
+
+MARISHA: I also think he might be who lives in
+that hut.
+
+SAM: How do you know that?
+
+MARISHA: Because he looked bony.
+
+MARK: That’s a reasonable deduction.
+
+LAURA: (loudly) Maybe there’s lots of them around
+too.
+
+SAM: Shut up, Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: Theater whisper.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think we want to deal with them,
+though.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll keep moving around the edge of the
+lake. Who wants to keep an eye on his area as
+
+we’re moving?
+
+MARISHA: I think he’s stalking us.
+
+LAURA: I will.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester and Molly, you keep an eye as we
+keep moving forward. We’ll come back to where the
+
+casters are.
+
+SAM: Are you going to stay behind?
+
+TRAVIS: No, they’re going to stay with us in a
+tight group. But they’re going to keep their eyes
+
+as we move.
+
+MARK: It’s all right, little Bren, they’ll look
+after us.
+
+SAM: Who? Oh me, yes! Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Mind your slice of the pie, all right, you
+guys? You’re a fan of pie, so.
+
+LAURA: Got it.
+
+MATT: (like Fjord) “You’re a fan of pie.”
+(chirping)
+
+LAURA: I am a fan of pie, Kiri!
+
+MATT: Do you guys continue onward?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Stealthy, though.
+
+LAURA: We are keeping an eye on the troll.
+
+MATT: You are out in the open, at the edge of
+where the lake is, beyond the treeline. Being
+
+stealthy here means being quiet, but you’re still
+very much out in the open.
+
+LIAM: So you’re saying there’s a chance.
+
+MATT: I’m saying if an entity knows you’re there,
+if you’re not trying to obscure your visual,
+
+you’re going to have a hard time avoiding it.
+
+SAM: Should we create a distraction for it first?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s just pay attention, and if it
+starts getting close then we’ll deal with it.
+
+We’re just not going to let it escape. We’re just
+going to keep an eye out for it.
+
+MARISHA: It might be better if we move quicker
+through here as well, instead of stealthily.
+
+MARK: I’m sure if you pray to the Platinum Dragon,
+we’ll be all right.
+
+LIAM: (inaudible chanting)
+
+MATT: As you guys push on, Febron’s looking
+extremely nervous now that you’ve mentioned this
+
+creature. “Wait, are you saying you saw this troll
+thing? Over there?”
+
+TRAVIS: Heard of something like that around here?
+
+MATT: “Only heard rumors and we talk about various
+things that live out there, trolls is definitely
+
+"one of them.”
+
+MARISHA: How long have you lived here?
+
+MATT: “Through the ages, there have been all sorts
+of stories. There’s uglier trolls here. Swamp
+
+"trolls, mountain trolls, all types, and this one,
+it wouldn’t surprise me. I haven’t seen one, but I
+
+"stay perfectly quiet. Quieter than you usually do
+as a group. I’m just going to stay here,” and
+
+clings behind you, Fjord, like as a shield.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I don’t know if that’s going to work
+for me. All right, let’s get moving. Try and
+
+ignore this.
+
+MATT: You guys move on, taking care to be quiet,
+but not out of sight. If you want to be stealthy
+
+in that regard, make a stealth check.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll give him a chance whether he engages
+or not
+
+MARISHA: We wanted to move faster.
+
+MATT: So then no stealth?
+
+TRAVIS: No stealth.
+
+MATT: So you guys continue pushing forward at your
+regular pace.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe a little faster than our regular,
+too.
+
+MARK: That was really brave, by the way, you
+sneaking off like that and finding it out.
+
+MARISHA: Thank you. You’re so complimentary. It
+makes me a little nauseous.
+
+MARK: I was raised and people were really nice to
+me, they used to tell me I was special and how
+
+important I was and it made me feel nice, so I try
+and do that for everyone else.
+
+MARISHA: Man, that’s so sweet. Ugh. Where are you
+from?
+
+MARK: Thank you! Technically I was born in Port
+Damali, but I didn’t spend a lot of time there. I
+
+lived on the streets on my own and then I was
+taken in by some people.
+
+MARISHA: Really?
+
+TRAVIS: Some people?
+
+MARK: Yeah, I guess– You guys have been nice to
+me, I can tell. You know I mentioned those folks
+
+in the dragon masks, the cult? They were the ones
+that raised me.
+
+LIAM: That’s the first time you’re introducing the
+word “cult” into conversation.
+
+MARK: Oh, sorry, yeah.
+
+SAM: You’re a cultist?
+
+MARK: No. I was raised by them–
+
+MARISHA: You’re an ex-cultist.
+
+LIAM: Cult adjacent.
+
+MARK: I guess. I mean–
+
+SAM: Cult-ish?
+
+MARIK: Cult-ish, maybe.
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “You’re a cultist? You’re a
+cultist?”
+
+MARK: All right, stop, bird! Stop saying that
+word! I don’t like it.
+
+TALIESIN: Did you have your own mask or do they
+just wear masks, out of curiosity?
+
+MARK: I didn’t get a mask because I wasn’t allowed
+out. They kept me in the temple. It’s because they
+
+were bad, all right? I’m glad that I’m not with
+them anymore. They’re bad people.
+
+LIAM: So they did this to you?
+
+MARK: No, I’ve always been like this.
+
+MARISHA: They worshiped you?
+
+MARK: Yeah, they told me I was special. I was
+important to them somehow.
+
+MATT: Yasha and Fjord, as they’re having this
+conversation, you’re watching at the flanks and
+
+you can see the shape of that troll creature is
+still moving from tree to tree, keeping pace with
+
+your movement.
+
+ASHLEY: Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I saw it. What do you want to do?
+
+ASHLEY: There’s one of him and however the fuck
+many of us.
+
+LIAM: How far back is he?
+
+TRAVIS: Not too far.
+
+MATT: It’s not approaching you, but it’s keeping
+pace.
+
+MARISHA: We’re on rough terrain right now?
+
+MATT: You’re not in the center of the swamp where
+it’s a lot of shifting topography and roots and
+
+vines and patches of deep water you have to come
+across. You’re along the coast of this lake, so
+
+it’s mainly soggy dirt and sand, so it’s not rough
+terrain where you are.
+
+MARISHA: But where he is, it would be considered
+rough terrain?
+
+MATT: Yes. But you also have no protection. You’re
+literally out in the open.
+
+MARISHA: We can try to send someone ahead as bait,
+lure him out, fight him on steady ground?
+
+TRAVIS: Or we could just keep letting him match.
+
+LAURA: The thing is, what if something bad comes
+in front of us and then they trap us? Because he’s
+
+just following us.
+
+MARK: Why isn’t he attacking us?
+
+LAURA: Maybe he has friends ahead that he’s
+waiting on.
+
+TALIESIN: I tend to find things that live in trees
+filled with bones tend to not have necessarily many
+
+friends. I’m just putting it out there. I have
+nothing else to base that off of, but it didn’t
+
+look like a very social creature.
+
+LIAM: So if we feel like we want to get into a
+scrap, I or probably our new friend here could
+
+kick it off from a ways away.
+
+TRAVIS: We could, or Jester, you’re pretty
+friendly. You want to see if–?
+
+LAURA: It’s a friend?
+
+LIAM: The troll.
+
+MARISHA: He had green pus-y ooze pouring out of
+holes in his face. Just want to throw that out there.
+
+SAM: You could heal him and curry favor with him.
+
+LAURA: I could if I made myself look like a little
+teeny troll. And they would want to be friends
+
+with me.
+
+MARISHA: I got undead vibes from this guy?
+
+LIAM: Also, you are very charming, but every book
+that I have ever read about trolls– They do not
+
+make friends. They are bitter, nasty things.
+
+ASHLEY: They eat you if you’re little, you know.
+
+MARISHA: He definitely had like a collarbone just
+hanging out.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I see him from here?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+MATT: You do not.
+
+TALIESIN: Do I technically have advantage because
+it’s trying to perceive an undead creature?
+
+MATT: No, because you don’t know if this
+creature’s undead or not.
+
+SAM: What if we set a trap or an ambush for him or
+her?
+
+MARISHA: That’s what I literally just said.
+
+SAM: We could do a little circley-poo and put Cali
+in the middle as bait, and then when it comes to
+
+attack, we spring the trap!
+
+TRAVIS: What’s the trap made of?
+
+SAM: I don’t know, I’ve been drinking a lot.
+
+LAURA: What if we ran rope between a couple trees
+and then we tripped it?
+
+LIAM: It’s watching us right now, isn’t it?
+
+MARISHA: He probably is hearing everything we’re
+talking about.
+
+LIAM: Debatable whether it can understand us, but
+perhaps it can.
+
+LAURA: Man, trolls are so cool!
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, how about this: Yasha, I’m sure
+you’ll agree, we can make one move to see if it’s
+
+interested in non-violence and then we have the
+advantage here now.
+
+ASHLEY: I like that idea a lot. Yeah, I would
+agree.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t like being tailed in particular.
+
+SAM: Someone walks up to it while the others flank
+around?
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to do it, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t you?
+
+LAURA: Here, you hold Kiri then, because I don’t
+want her to get too close to it.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: What are you doing? Why are you holding–?
+
+SAM and LAURA: No! Put her down!
+
+MARK: You wouldn’t hold your own daughter that
+way!
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “It’s me, Bren!” (chirping)
+Pulls the dagger out.
+
+SAM: I’ll take Kiri, give me Kiri. Come here,
+little Kiri. My father won’t hurt you anymore.
+
+MARK: I’m going to stand closer to Bren. I’m
+disappointed in you, Mr. Fjord!
+
+TRAVIS: That means literally nothing to me.
+
+MARISHA: She’s so formal in her admonishment. Man,
+it kind of makes me feel bad. Anyway, let’s go.
+
+I’ll flank to the north.
+
+LAURA: Is the troll just watching all of you go
+away?
+
+MATT: If you’re doing this stealthily, then I need
+anyone who’s trying to not be seen to make a
+
+stealth check.
+
+LAURA: Should I try to Pass Without a Trace, you
+guys?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t think we should stealth.
+
+SAM: It’s not an ambush if they can see where we
+are.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck the ambush. There’s nine of us. One
+of him.
+
+SAM: That you know of.
+
+LIAM: I would, in fact, like to try to walk behind
+a tree so I’m obscured.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to stealth to the north.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll join you in the non-stealthing.
+
+MATT: Beau’s stealthing to the north, which will
+be here. Fjord, you guys are heading inward.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, Yasha, and I will not be stealthing
+and heading inward, and we’ll be just behind
+
+Jester’s diplomatic envoy.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know if it can see me or not, but I
+would like to hold Magic Missile in case it
+
+attacks my friends.
+
+ASHLEY: I want to be close enough to Jester in
+case anything happens.
+
+MATT: Jester, where are you standing?
+
+LAURA: I guess I will be falling back because I’m
+going to talk to him.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ll be going in front of us. Because
+you’re going to talk to him.
+
+LAURA: I thought the thing was behind us.
+
+MATT: You guys are heading northward this way. You
+guys have to go this way because the lake’s all
+
+this direction.
+
+MARK: I’m stood next to Nott, with Kiri.
+
+MATT: Nott and Kiri are back here, and that would
+be– Go off to that side. Febron is like, “I’m
+
+"going to stay back here with the people in the
+back-back, because I want to stay in the back.”
+
+TRAVIS: (sarcastically) Oh no, I was enjoying our
+closeness.
+
+MATT: You guys begin to trudge in, deeper into the
+swamp.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to pull the last of my
+pastries, which I’m sure are really fucking gross
+
+by now.
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re pretty stale. You’re fine. As
+you begin to move into the swamp, you do see the
+
+shape and it’s about maybe 60 or so feet from
+where you are. You watch it shift, and then shift
+
+to another tree a little further away.
+
+MARISHA: He’s moving away from us?
+
+MATT: He’s moving away from you.
+
+TRAVIS: Are we sure it’s the same one?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: You see one shape move, it’s similar to the
+one you saw before. You can ascertain that it
+
+probably is the same creature, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, we do not want to follow this bunny
+rabbit down the hole.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to Invoke Duplicity and I’m going
+to send my duplicate towards the troll. It’s skipping.
+
+LIAM: (singing Peter’s Theme from Peter and the
+Wolf)
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, perfect.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check. No, you don’t need
+to after that, we’ll see if he can see through the
+
+illusion. It skips ahead. Just keeps walking in
+that direction?
+
+LAURA: Towards the trees, looking like she’s
+picking some vegetation. I doubt there’s flowers.
+
+TRAVIS: Mushrooms.
+
+LAURA: But whatever. Yeah. Whatever she can do.
+
+MATT: 50 feet, 60 feet, gets relatively close to
+where you saw the shape vanish.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to have her turn her back to the
+troll and act like she’s digging around in the mud.
+
+MATT: From behind the tree, one of the claws– The
+long, stringy hair dangling, somewhat stuck to its
+
+neck, shifting with the light breeze that blows
+through as it looks back and watches the illusion
+
+turn and shift. Is it relatively close to the
+tree, the illusion?
+
+LAURA: Pretty close.
+
+MATT: It sits there and waits, shifts.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to have her take a couple of
+steps away from the tree.
+
+MATT: It shifts back in its space a little bit.
+
+LAURA: She’s going to step back towards the tree.
+
+MATT: As soon as it gets within about five or so
+feet, the illusion, the troll creature reaches out
+
+and swings out to grab the illusion, passes
+through, and the claws (slash) into the tree. It
+
+goes (frantic grunting) and then vanishes behind
+the tree. You watch it dart, the shadow of it
+
+vanish behind another tree, and it’s moving
+further away from where you are.
+
+LAURA: Don’t think it was friendly.
+
+TRAVIS: Question answered. Did it move away?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you want to chase it?
+
+LAURA: I think we should stick to the safe house,
+what do you guys think?
+
+TRAVIS: I think that’s a good call.
+
+TALIESIN: For now.
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll stagger back towards the back line
+of our group.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, continue on.
+
+LAURA: I’ll keep the invoke duplicity, the second
+me, skipping through the swamp at a distance.
+
+MATT: How long does that last? Lasts for a
+minute?
+
+LAURA: Invoke Duplicity lasts I think a minute,
+yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys cluster together outside of the
+swamp alongside the curvature of the lake, keeping
+
+an eye on the side, you continue to travel
+forward. The lake slowly begins to, as you guys
+
+are heading northward, along its side it begins to
+curve to a northeastern direction, and Febron’s
+
+like, “All right, so this is good. We’re getting
+closer to the northern side of the lake, which
+
+"means we’re getting close to where we follow the
+pearl blades to the safe house. Good, okay.” At
+
+this point, you look over to the side. Who’s
+keeping a watch on this? Okay, both of you guys
+
+roll a perception check, please.
+
+MARISHA: Motherfucker, my perception is balls.
+
+TRAVIS: 15.
+
+MARISHA: Nine.
+
+LAURA: Beau needs to stop looking out for things.
+
+MATT: 15, you said? You do see the shape now
+keeping pace with you again, same distance out
+
+there. It’s stalking you, but it’s definitely–
+you get the sense, based on the interaction you
+
+had earlier and the distance it’s keeping– it’s
+not interested in fighting nine of you. It’s
+
+waiting to pick one of you off and take it
+wherever it’s going to take it. It’s smart enough
+
+to know that it’s not going to jump into a fray in
+the open space, but it’s definitely waiting to see
+
+what weaker one stays to the back.
+
+ASHLEY: Can we put some of the little ones– Nott.
+Bren, get in the middle. Kiri.
+
+SAM: Yep, on my way.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to get in the back.
+
+MATT: You guys continue heading in a northeastern
+direction until eventually you watch the lake come
+
+to a northern peak and begin to curve back into a
+southern area. It looks like the top of the lake
+
+bends to a point northward and then begins to head
+southward and level out. At this point, Febron
+
+goes, “All right, good. From here, we head
+northward into the swamp. We’re looking for
+
+"daggers with pearl hilts in the trees. Those are
+the markers; there’s six of them that lead us
+
+"there.” He’s going to make a perception check. He
+looks a bit lost; someone want to help him out
+
+with this?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll look.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check as well.
+
+LAURA: 12, I think. Yeah.
+
+MATT: It takes you a moment, but you manage to
+catch– the third or fourth tree into the
+
+treeline, and you see a gleaming pearl-hilted
+dagger that is jammed about five feet off the
+
+ground into one of the thicker pieces of tree bark
+on the exterior of one of these trees. It’s this
+
+little mark that looks like someone jammed a
+whittling knife into it and left it there, and he
+
+goes, “That’s one, good. Okay, that means we’re
+going the right way.”
+
+LIAM: Do you see it? Show me.
+
+LAURA: It’s right here; it’s at eye level with
+me.
+
+LIAM: Good.
+
+MATT: Moving up, looking for the next one. Go
+ahead and roll.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, that’s better. That’s a 23.
+
+MATT: Both of you go, “There!” at the same time.
+
+MATT and LAURA: Ah! (chuckling)
+
+MATT: “All right, second one.” Moving on, looking
+for the third.
+
+LAURA: That was a one for me, I don’t see it.
+
+MATT: This one takes a little longer to find. All
+right.
+
+LAURA: But I don’t wander too far from everyone
+else because there’s a troll out there, you guys!
+
+MATT: Yeah. You find the third, Febron finds the
+fourth.
+
+LAURA: I find that last one.
+
+MATT: Fifth one because he did not find it, but
+you locate it.
+
+LAURA: 23!
+
+MATT: Yeah. With that point, he goes, “Okay. I’m
+pretty sure we’re almost there.” He points ahead,
+
+and you can see where there’s a cluster of trees.
+A new sight catches your attention. The first
+
+thing that hits you is this faint scent of rotting
+flesh. It hits your nose a bit and your eyes
+
+sting, water for the moment. As your vision
+focuses on the first corpse, a human man propped
+
+up on a spear going up through the side of his
+torso and out his left pectoral. His stomach is
+
+bloated and his skin is dull gray and glistening.
+His jaw hangs open, his expression this horrible,
+
+ghastly grimace. A few feet from him, stuck to one
+of the trees, you see a halfling woman with two
+
+blades jammed through her shoulders, pinning her
+up, legs dangling, but one leg is partially torn
+
+off. Her head is mounted down, hair in her face so
+you can’t make out any features, and they’re both
+
+placed up there right against this opening to a
+small clearing ahead, and this is where Febron
+
+goes, “And that’s what I’m talking about. That’s
+the warning. Whoever did this is trying to keep us out.”
+
+LAURA: You haven’t gone past these–
+
+MATT: “Fuck no!”
+
+LAURA: Shh! (quietly) They could be around! Hey
+you guys, I could try this thing that I’ve been
+
+wanting to do for a while, which is where I can
+talk to somebody that is not alive anymore.
+
+SAM: You can do that?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, the Traveler’s teaching me all about
+it and I think I can do it.
+
+MARK: Is the Traveler another wizard?
+
+LAURA: He kind of is, but he’s really powerful,
+and he’s super cool.
+
+LIAM: Settle in.
+
+LAURA: He wears this really cool cloak, and he’s
+got an amazing voice. Actually, hold on! I pull
+
+out one of my pamphlets. Here, if you want to
+learn more, you just let me know.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe we can get back to talking to the
+dead people?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, do you want me to try it?
+
+SAM: That sounds like a great idea.
+
+TALIESIN: Nott, why don’t we check for traps,
+too?
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s my job!
+
+MARISHA: How long does it take you to talk to dead
+people?
+
+LAURA: It’s instantaneous, but I can talk to them
+for about ten minutes or so.
+
+SAM: Anyone who’s dead, or just one dead person?
+
+LAURA: Just one dead person that I cast it on.
+
+SAM: Which body is fresher, Matthew?
+
+MATT: From what you’re looking at, they’re both
+about as fresh as the other.
+
+TRAVIS: Which one’s got the better mouth?
+
+LAURA: It doesn’t have to be fresh, it could be
+really old.
+
+MATT: They both have their jaws intact. From what
+you can tell, the female halfling, you can’t make
+
+out the features of the face because the hair is
+in the way and dangling. The other one’s is open.
+
+LAURA: Which one looks friendlier?
+
+MATT: They both look pretty dead!
+
+SAM: Let me check for traps on the smaller one.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Oh, a lot. 25.
+
+MATT: No traps, nothing like that. You do notice
+there are wounds across the body. Beyond the leg
+
+missing, there are a number of wounds. You can
+make a medicine check to try and ascertain what they are.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+MATT: Okay. They seem to be a combination of bite
+and claw marks. Not super deep slashing, but
+
+definitely a gash across the shoulder, the neck.
+There is one large puncture wound about that wide
+
+that’s right around where the sternum is. But
+whatever punctured it, one of the edges is torn
+
+out, like something hooked was placed in and then
+pulled through, dragging the flesh with it.
+
+SAM: Does her face look like–
+
+MATT: Intact.
+
+SAM: Yeah, we don’t know this person, right?
+
+MATT: No, you do not recognize this person,
+lifeless. You do see some rough elements of
+
+tattoos along the neck similar to the banded neck
+tattoos of members of The Gentleman’s crew that
+
+you had seen before. Not as thick and dense, but
+you can see that there is a pattern to the
+
+acquisition of some of these tattoos for the ones
+who run the smuggling line. You’re starting to
+
+ascertain and put that together, but intact.
+
+SAM: Would you like to talk to this one?
+
+LAURA: I mean, sure.
+
+SAM: Well, let me introduce you.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: This is my friend, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Hi.
+
+SAM: Jester, this is a dead body.
+
+LAURA: I’m nervous; I’ve never done this before.
+
+TALIESIN: This should be good.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to hold my symbol of the
+Traveler.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to keep a lookout while she
+does this.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to be like, okay, I’m going to do
+this thing.
+
+SAM: Just be confident.
+
+MATT: Kiri pulls a blade and gets behind Cali and
+is like, (like Jester) “I’ve never done this before.”
+
+LAURA: Kiri, be careful.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Be careful.”
+
+LAURA: Hey, you dead person, hey. I would like if
+you would come to life again a little bit and tell
+
+us some things that we want to know.
+
+(tongue waggling)
+
+(surprised yell)
+
+(screaming)
+
+MATT: You watch as a tiny dagger goes into the tree
+next to it and Kiri’s around Cali’s going–
+
+TRAVIS: Easy, Kiri, easy. Settle, settle.
+
+MATT: (cawing, whimpering)
+
+MARK: Yeah, Kiri settle.
+
+MATT: As the chest breathes in, some of the air
+escapes some of the wounds, and there’s bits of matter-
+
+MARK: (retching)
+
+MATT: The head settles down and looks right–
+
+MARISHA: Yasha and her gag reflex.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no, it’s happening again. It feels like
+it’s coming up.
+
+MATT: Febron leaps back, he’s like, “Shit!”, and
+backs up a little bit. He looks really
+
+uncomfortable with this whole thing. You don’t
+think he was prepared for any sort of dead-raising
+
+circumstance. “Is this fucking necromancy?!”
+
+LAURA: Well, kind of!
+
+MATT: He keeps backing away. Now the corpse’s face
+of this halfling woman turns towards you.
+
+(inhaling)
+
+LAURA: (tongue waggling) We have to ask it some
+questions.
+
+(low monotone) What did this to you?
+
+SAM: I don’t think you have to talk like you’re
+dead.
+
+LAURA: Really, are you sure though? Have you ever
+talked to a dead person?
+
+SAM: I’ve never done it, you know more about this
+than me.
+
+MATT: (whispered voice) “Swamp fishmen
+from under the ground.”
+
+LAURA: Beau, are you writing this down?
+
+MARISHA: Swamp fishman from underground.
+
+MARK: That is incredibly specific and really
+useful.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: How many swamp fishmen?
+
+MATT: “Many.”
+
+LAURA: Many, there’re lots of them. There’re lots
+of them that attacked.
+
+SAM: Where? When?
+
+LAURA: How long ago did this happen to you?
+
+SAM: How many questions do you get?
+
+LAURA: I get five of them.
+
+MATT: “Weeks. Two, maybe three.”
+
+LAURA: Wow. Two or three weeks ago. Oh! Did
+anything that you did to the fishmen seem to hurt
+
+them more than other things?
+
+SAM: (spookily) Ooh.
+
+MATT: “We cut when we could. They bleed, but too
+many.”
+
+LAURA: They bleed, but there’s too many bleeds.
+
+MARK: If it bleeds, we can kill them.
+
+MARISHA: So when you cut it, it bleeds. Got it.
+
+SAM: One more question.
+
+LAURA: I get one more question, what should I
+ask?
+
+MATT: Kiri comes up and grabs the dagger, wedges
+it out of the tree and turns to Cali and goes,
+
+(like Cali) “If it bleeds, we can kill it.” Points
+it back to the corpse.
+
+LAURA: Don’t kill it again, okay Kiri? It’s okay.
+We have another question.
+
+SAM: Either where this happened or where they were
+hiding?
+
+TALIESIN: Where did it happen, inside? Or where
+did they come from?
+
+TRAVIS: Underground.
+
+TALIESIN: But did they come from the house, or
+from outside the safe house, or inside?
+
+MARK: Could you word it in a way where you ask all
+of those in one question, like, “Did you come from
+
+this, this, or this?” maybe, and then we’ll know
+where?
+
+SAM: Or, we could ask if there’s a secret entrance
+to the safe house.
+
+TALIESIN: What if there isn’t?
+
+SAM: Then we’ve wasted a question.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair.
+
+MARK: But we know there’s not a secret entrance.
+
+TRAVIS: Did any of it precede the attack?
+
+LAURA: Or we could ask it what its childhood was
+like.
+
+SAM: That would be an interesting story. I’m going
+to check behind us and see how far back Fermaw,
+
+what’s his name, Febron?
+
+MATT: Febron?
+
+SAM: How far back has Febron gone?
+
+MATT: He’s 20 feet behind you. He’s keeping a
+little back from the whole undead thing.
+
+SAM: Hey, Febron! Don’t go too far. There’s a
+troll back there.
+
+MATT: At which point, from behind one of the trees
+(growling), the troll reaches out and grabs him by
+
+the torso, pulls him back, and you hear him scream
+as the troll grabs him, tucks him under his arm,
+
+(snarling) and begins leaping away from you.
+
+LIAM: Magic Missile!
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. Make an attack.
+
+ASHLEY: I go running.
+
+MATT: You go running.
+
+SAM: I miss. I got a nine.
+
+MARISHA: Almost made a bet if Febron was going to
+make it.
+
+MARK: Acid Splash. Cali’s going to spit a glob of
+acid.
+
+MATT: (splashes) All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh no. Wait. Come back.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to cast at 2nd-level.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. Oh no, man, oh no.
+
+MATT: Let me get the–
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, did we already give him the 100
+gold?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+ASHLEY: We’re going to give him at the end,
+right?
+
+SAM: No, we gave it to him already.
+
+ASHLEY: We gave him half?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to loot the corpse anyway.
+We know where that money’s going.
+
+MARISHA: He did his job, though. He got us here.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to go find it in the tree
+later. It’ll be fine.
+
+ASHLEY: If he dies, we can get the money back.
+
+LAURA: Don’t waste all your spells, you’ve got to
+fight fish men!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s practically going to be in a safety
+deposit box.
+
+MARISHA: Hold this for us.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s fucking huge!
+
+MATT: That is the troll.
+
+TRAVIS: I thought he was humanoid-sized!
+
+LAURA: Oh, he’s huge!
+
+MARISHA: Look, he tucked Febron under his arm.
+
+TRAVIS: Why did you go try to be friends with
+that? What are you thinking?
+
+ASHLEY: I didn’t know he was that big!
+
+MATT: This is the opening of the clearing here,
+where you guys were talking to the halfling that
+
+was stapled to the tree right there.
+
+LAURA: Just stapled to the tree.
+
+MATT: Essentially, yeah. You guys all spin and
+watch this happening. Kiri’s over by the edge of
+
+the tree with you, and Caleb, where were you?
+
+LIAM: Towards the back of the group, never near
+the front.
+
+MATT: You would have probably been over here, near
+Nott.
+
+TRAVIS: This is north, towards me?
+
+MATT: Technically, this would be north.
+
+LAURA: Technically!
+
+MATT: Yes, that area’s north.
+
+SAM: I fired a shot that missed.
+
+MATT: Yes. What did you roll?
+
+SAM: A nine.
+
+MATT: That did miss.
+
+LIAM: Magic Missile, level two, four darts, total
+of 16 force damage.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+MARK: Reflex save– Dexterity. Dexterity saving
+throw for the Acid Splash.
+
+MATT: The troll spins and goes running with Febron
+going (screaming) in its grasp, it starts
+
+lumbering, leaping from tree to tree. Its legs,
+while it has this bulbous, swollen midsection,
+
+these thin frog-like legs are giving these fairly
+decent leaps from section to section, its other
+
+arm grasping onto the trees as it runs. You can
+see this is definitely its home terrain. As these
+
+magic missiles swarm out and slam into its body,
+with each impact, that green ichor sprays across
+
+Febron, and it starts to burn into his skin. He’s
+(screaming).
+
+TRAVIS: Xenomorph blood.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+TRAVIS: Is he unconscious? Is he done? Is that
+it?
+
+MATT: Febron goes limp–
+
+(cheering and groaning)
+
+MATT: I rolled 2d8. I rolled eight on each of
+them. That was the reaction there.
+
+MARK: Dexterity saving throw for the Acid Splash
+as well, if you don’t mind.
+
+MATT: Correct. That’s a four.
+
+MARK: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven points of acid, got it. As it slams,
+it begins to burn the back of the skin. You watch
+
+a bit of steam rise off of its shoulder. It
+definitely is wounding the creature. This large,
+
+swollen troll is still making a break. I need
+everyone to roll initiative now.
+
+LIAM: Don’t fuck me, Matt Mercer.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural one.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+LAURA: 23.
+
+MARK: 20.
+
+MARISHA: Actually, I’m going to blow my d8. Ooh,
+that’s an eight.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester and Cali?
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: Nott and Molly. 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+TRAVIS: 14 as well.
+
+LIAM: Did you speak up yet?
+
+ASHLEY: Nope.
+
+LIAM: Of course you didn’t.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god!
+
+MATT: Ten to five?
+
+ASHLEY: Six. Every time!
+
+MATT: Eight?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s magic.
+
+MATT: Ashley, it’s incredible.
+
+ASHLEY: It really is. I have a plus two in this
+campaign, also. Good grief.
+
+MATT: Is that everybody? I think so, yeah. Top of
+the round, as it’s bounding behind with an
+
+unconscious guide under its arm, Jester, you’re up
+first.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to Toll the Dead because
+he’s been injured.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to turn around and be like
+(splat).
+
+MATT: What type of damage is it?
+
+LAURA: It is necrotic damage, but he has to roll a
+wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: Which he does not make, he rolled a 12.
+
+LAURA: So 2d12! I can help search for those in a
+second–
+
+SAM: No, I got them.
+
+LAURA: Six whole points!
+
+MATT: Six points of damage. As the energy
+coalesces and the bell, (impact) in the range of
+
+this creature, it impacts it and it staggers for a
+second, and the pustules on its body emit more of
+
+that poison.
+
+LAURA: He has a loud ringing in his ears, damn
+it.
+
+MATT: That finishes your go. Cali, you’re up.
+
+MARK: Okay, so, seeing everything go on, and the
+combat erupt, you see her twitch a little bit, and
+
+she snarls a little. I’m going to rush up 30 feet,
+move up as much as I can. Get back here, now! I’m
+
+going to Quickened Spell, False Life on myself–
+actually, no, I’ll just do it as a normal action,
+
+I won’t Quickened Spell it. I’ll do False Life on
+myself and gain some vigor, as a 1st-level spell.
+
+SAM: All words I’ve never heard before.
+
+ASHLEY: Same!
+
+MARK: I gain seven temporary hit points, and then
+I’m going to– well, that’s it. Yeah.
+
+MATT: Cool. This strange barrier of arcane energy
+forms around Cali’s body, giving this little
+
+essence of vigor, and the body swells a bit. That
+finishes your turn. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I’ll get within 30 feet. Fire a crossbow shot
+towards its foot.
+
+MATT: Within 30 feet, you can stop about there.
+
+SAM: That’s good.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: It hits, probably. 24?
+
+MATT: Yeah, that hits.
+
+SAM: Sneak attack? No.
+
+MATT: Technically, no, because he’s aware that you
+were there, and is not currently flanked by any allies.
+
+LAURA: Not flanked by Febron.
+
+SAM: Oh, terrible. Five points.
+
+MATT: Five points of piercing damage. It strikes
+and sticks into the back, and more of that green
+
+stuff begins to spray out of the wound where it
+hit in the vicinity. It’s creating bursts of this
+
+toxic sludge that’s oozing from its body around it
+each time you’re hitting it.
+
+SAM: I’ll shoot again, with bonus action. Ooh,
+that’s not as good. 13?
+
+MATT: 13? That does not hit. It manages to hit the
+tree that’s near it and sticking into that one, there.
+
+SAM: I’ll use the rest of my movement to duck
+behind a tree or something while I scream.
+
+LAURA: I wonder if Febron is going to get covered
+in that pus that’s coming out of him.
+
+MATT: There’s quite a bit of it on Febron,
+actually.
+
+LIAM: Are we in difficult terrain here?
+
+MATT: Yes, you are.
+
+MARISHA: Green stuff should sponsor us.
+
+MATT: I’d say in this clearing you’re not in
+terribly difficult terrain. You’re moving around
+
+okay, it’s not too bad. The further you get into
+it this way, it starts getting a little more–
+
+like in the cluster of trees in here, it starts
+getting a harder to move in.
+
+LIAM: Although, you’ve got your shoes on, yeah?
+
+LAURA: The ring.
+
+MATT: That ends Nott’s turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try and cast Enthrall.
+
+MATT: Okay. That is a 14. What is it, wisdom?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t know. Yes, I believe it’s a
+wisdom–
+
+MATT: 13. Your DC on that is? It’s charisma-based,
+right? This is your racial?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, it is racial.
+
+MATT: It succeeds, it’s a ten. Unfortunately! That
+would have stopped it in its tracks.
+
+TALIESIN: (groaning mumbles)
+
+MARISHA: That was Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep.
+
+MATT: Is that your turn? Do you want to move
+closer?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll move up to that tree.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you move up to there.
+
+TALIESIN: As a bonus, I’ll– no, I’ll hold off.
+
+MATT: Okay, that finishes Molly’s go. Beau and
+Fjord, you guys are up.
+
+MARISHA: I think I’m 40 feet within him. If you do
+it–
+
+LAURA: You’re 40 feet within him?
+
+MATT: (counting) You do, you get right up into its
+body.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, so deep! Okay, I’m going to pop pop.
+My two strikes– oh, wait, that’s a die damage.
+
+First two strikes! First one is a 21, second one
+is a 16?
+
+MATT: They both hit.
+
+MARISHA: Okay! Damn it, I rolled a one, this
+sucks. 12 damage for the first one, seven damage
+
+for the second one.
+
+MATT: Great.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah?
+
+MATT: What else are you doing?
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to use a ki point to do
+stunning strike.
+
+MATT: Oh, nice.
+
+MARISHA: Stunning strike!
+
+MATT: All right. 21.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck.
+
+MATT: That is a plus five on its constitution
+saving throw. Trolls, man. It resists the stunning strike.
+
+MARISHA: That’s good to know.
+
+MATT: You still have your bonus, though.
+
+MARISHA: I still have my bonus. I’ll just punch
+him in the face.
+
+LAURA: Please don’t waste all your stuff on this
+guy, because, you know–
+
+MARISHA: Because we might still fight all those
+things. Nine damage. No, sorry, ten damage.
+
+MATT: Ten damage. Third strike?
+
+MARISHA: That was it.
+
+MATT: Okay, cool. You rush forward, slamming into
+it with your staff and your fists, striking into
+
+its body. With each impact, it takes you a moment
+to realize what’s happening, but that spray is
+
+covering your face, and as it does, the venom is
+pushing into your flesh and burning upon contact.
+
+MARISHA: You guys, it makes your throat a little
+numb!
+
+MATT: You take nine points of poison damage. You
+take another nine points of poison damage. You
+
+take 15 points of poison damage. A total of–
+sorry, 15, nine and nine, so that’s 34? 34 points
+
+of poison damage.
+
+TRAVIS: 33.
+
+MATT: 33, sorry.
+
+LAURA: Y'all, don’t get close to this guy, because
+I don’t want to waste all my–
+
+MATT: Febron, by the way? Fucking dead. You see
+now he’s coated in this toxin. The eyes are open
+
+and now pouring out of his mouth is foam at the
+edge with his tongue lolling out. Yeah, as it was
+
+fleeing, all the impacts covered him with the same
+toxic stuff and sent him straight to his grave.
+
+MARISHA: Guys, our money’s getting away!
+
+LAURA: I think it’s okay because I’m going to have
+to use all my fucking spells healing you, Beau!
+
+MARISHA: I’m okay!
+
+LAURA: Why don’t you get back here?
+
+MATT: That ends Beau’s turn. Fjord, what are you
+doing?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I move 15 feet towards the troll? I’ll
+see the gore and poison splattering all over Beau
+
+and little sizzles coming up and shit, and I’m
+like: Eh, Eldritch Blast!
+
+MARISHA: I turn around to you and I go (gasping
+and groaning).
+
+TRAVIS: (screams, blasts)
+
+MATT: All right. Two attacks on it.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. Oh, that’s 26 to hit.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TRAVIS: And 25 to hit.
+
+MATT: Both hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Those were monsters, jeez. 1d10 plus four,
+that’s eight points on the first one, and that’s
+
+14 points on the second one.
+
+MATT: Woo, nice! Both parts of its back where they
+impact, the flesh tears open, revealing the muscle
+
+beneath, and as it does, more of it sprays.
+Beau–
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, shit, right!
+
+MATT: You take five points of poison damage.
+
+MARISHA: Hang on, let me make sure I’m doing my
+math right, too. It was 33 points of damage is
+
+what you did before, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LAURA: 34.
+
+TRAVIS: 33.
+
+MATT: It was 15 plus 18, so it’s 33.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, and then–
+
+MATT: You just took another 20 points of poison
+damage.
+
+MARISHA: I am unconscious.
+
+SAM: What?! Way to go, Mee-ster Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, don’t anybody else hit it.
+
+LAURA: Oh god, please don’t pick up Beau.
+
+MATT: Beau falls onto the ground, arms limp,
+covered in this toxic substance. That ends your
+
+turn, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I cast Regret.
+
+(laughing)
+
+MARK: I cast Major Regret at 5th-level.
+
+MATT: Okay, so it is now the troll’s turn. The
+troll does not regenerate because you did acid
+
+damage to it with your last attack, which prevents
+it from regaining any hit points.
+
+MARK: That was not me meta-gaming, chat.
+
+MATT: However, it’s still currently clutching the
+body of Febron under its arm. It’s going for a
+
+straight bolt, it looks down and sees Beau
+unconscious, uses its action to pick Beau up under
+
+the other arm–
+
+LAURA: No! Goddamn it.
+
+MARK: It doesn’t have to move to do it, does it?
+
+MATT: Nope. Now it’s going to use its full
+movement. That’s 30, it is right where the marker
+
+is right there.
+
+LAURA: –without killing Beau, because we can’t
+attack it?
+
+SAM: We have to stop it with magic, or nets.
+
+MARISHA: Anyone have a Hold Monster situation?
+
+MATT: Yeah, this is a pickle, guys.
+
+TRAVIS: You didn’t really like that character that
+much, did you?
+
+MARISHA: You know!
+
+MATT: That ends the troll’s turn. Caleb, you’re
+up.
+
+MARISHA: Haven’t even gotten her backstory yet.
+
+LIAM: I will use my movement first. I want to get
+as close as I can, which is 15 feet– or, no, you
+
+said the closer we get?
+
+MATT: Right there is when you start getting to
+rough terrain, so that’s as far as you get– which
+
+the troll is not affected by, you’ve noticed that
+it’s in its home turf.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you know, I went through a whole range
+of emotions because first I was going to try to
+
+hold it, but then the guy was dead, so I was like
+fuck it, I’ll switch to a Fire Bolt, but then he
+
+grabbed Beau, so I am going to use the Glove of
+Blasting and cast Scorching Ray on it, because I
+
+can’t reach for anything better.
+
+LAURA: No, but what if it makes it pus its thing
+and then it hits Beau and she dies?!
+
+MARK: Every time it gets hit, even by spells.
+
+LAURA: Don’t damage it!
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+TRAVIS: That’s what happened to Febron.
+
+MARISHA: We need like a hold thing–
+
+LIAM: I don’t have that.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t either. I mean, I got something
+that holds, but it damages, too.
+
+MATT: What are you doing, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to cast Magic Missile on its
+head.
+
+MATT: Magic Missile on its head?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for the damage on
+that.
+
+SAM: Beau dies.
+
+LIAM: No, I’m going to cast– fucksticks. I’m
+going to cast Haste on Nott. That’s what I do.
+
+MATT: Okay. You are now holding concentration on
+Haste. Nott, you feel suddenly the world slows
+
+ever so slightly and you feel this burst of
+adrenaline in your body.
+
+LAURA: Do you have a healing potion?
+
+SAM: No.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn.
+
+MARISHA: I do.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. How close can I get?
+
+MARISHA: Man, I was hoping to stun it, guys, I’m
+sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: It was a good plan.
+
+ASHLEY: Fuck, that’s not going to work.
+
+SAM: Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah. Your AC is up, an extra action.
+
+ASHLEY: All right, well, I would like to rage. I’m
+going to scream out, in a super intimidating voice.
+
+MATT: Don’t forget, if you rage and don’t attack
+or are attacked by the end of your next turn, you
+
+lose your rage.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit.
+
+MATT: So if you’re not planning to attack it, or
+if there’s not going to be something attacking
+
+you, you’re losing a rage for the day, so keep
+that in mind.
+
+MARK: You just need to take damage, like get hit
+by something.
+
+MATT: It’s either attack or be attacked, you don’t
+have to take damage necessarily.
+
+TALIESIN: The acid will do full damage.
+
+SAM: Pus flew out of it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m sweating.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh my god, you’re amazing.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry, audience.
+
+MATT: So it’s taking damage. So it’s you attacking
+or taking damage.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, fuck. Shit. Okay. Well, I’m not
+going to take it back.
+
+LAURA: Can you just grapple it?
+
+ASHLEY: That’s as far as I can go.
+
+MATT: Yeah. Unfortunately, you’re starting to get
+through some sludge.
+
+TALIESIN: You can dash and burn your action.
+
+MATT: You can, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I’ll do that.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+MARISHA: You guys know where he’s taking me.
+
+LAURA: Potentially.
+
+MATT: That’s as close as you can get right there.
+
+ASHLEY: Am I within ten feet of it?
+
+MATT: You are.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Can I use necrotic shroud, then, if
+I use that as the action to run?
+
+MATT: You don’t have an action to use it anymore,
+unfortunately.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Can I just yell at it?
+
+MATT: Yeah. What do you yell? I give you two bonus
+actions.
+
+ASHLEY: Super intimidating. Oh, but then I’ve got
+to fucking attack something. All right, I’m going
+
+to be super intimidating and say: Drop it!
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+TRAVIS: No!
+
+MARK: No! I said no!
+
+MARISHA: Roll a 20.
+
+LAURA: 20! Oh, so close!
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, that’s intimidation. Intimidation is
+minus two.
+
+TRAVIS: How?
+
+ASHLEY: I look so mean because my charisma’s so
+low.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s charisma-based, but depending on
+the intimidation, you can use your strength
+
+modifier instead.
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+MATT: Okay, with your strength modifier?
+
+TALIESIN: No, without the strength modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: You can use your str–
+
+ASHLEY: Oh I can use my strength!
+
+MATT: It makes sense, and it’s how we did it in
+the last campaign, too. It’s one of the rules that
+
+they say you can use for your campaign. Charisma
+or strength for your intimidation because it makes
+
+sense for you.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh yes, okay! Okay, okay, okay!
+
+MATT: My favorite Pike line, by the way, in
+Pillars Of Eternity.
+
+MARISHA: I was just thinking that as well!
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay! 22!
+
+MATT: 22, all right.
+
+MARISHA: I died when I heard that.
+
+MATT: Okay, it turns around and glances at you and
+it looks shaken. I’ll say, for the purposes of
+
+this, it’s frightened of you until the end of your
+next turn.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+LAURA: It’s going to keep running away from you.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: It’s all happening like this.
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Can I like slap myself?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately–
+
+ASHLEY: Does that not work? Shit. Wasted a rage.
+
+MATT: It’s now Kiri’s turn. Kiri holding a
+dagger–
+
+MARISHA: Kiri be my savior!
+
+SAM: Aw Kiri.
+
+MATT: She just holds the dagger. That’s Kiri’s
+turn.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Kiri.
+
+MATT: And shouts, (like Jester) “Fuck!” Jester,
+it’s your turn.
+
+LAURA: Can I get within 60 feet of it?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re within 60 feet.
+
+LAURA: Awesome! I’m going to cast Healing Word on
+Beau.
+
+MATT: Oh shit. Okay.
+
+LAURA: As my bonus action. Healing Word, so you
+regain 1d4 plus four hit points.
+
+LIAM: Wow.
+
+LAURA: Seven points!
+
+MATT: So you are conscious.
+
+MARISHA: Oh! I’m conscious!
+
+MARK: Being grappled by a troll, one thing at a
+time.
+
+MARISHA: Seven hit points, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Modern Literature!
+
+LIAM: Lie down, play dead.
+
+TRAVIS: We don’t know what that is.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to wake up, see my situation
+and go (gasps) and play dead.
+
+MATT: Okay, so when we come to your turn, you
+can do that. You come to consciousness, and you’re
+
+like (panting) and your body hurts, there’s all
+this stinging from the toxin burning your skin and
+
+flesh. You’re chucked under and you can feel the
+claws digging into part of your thigh and side as
+
+you’re being run along by this giant troll
+creature. It smells awful; this heavy scent
+
+of rotting citrus and fungus that’s permeating
+from its body. That finishes your turn, Jester?
+
+LAURA: That was my bonus.
+
+MATT: That was your bonus, you still have your
+action.
+
+LAURA: But I don’t think I can do anything. I
+guess I’ll hold an attack, I’ll hold–
+
+MATT: Sacred Flame?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll hold Sacred Flame until Beau is
+dropped and far enough away.
+
+MATT: You got it. Holding there, Cali, you’re up.
+
+MARK: How close can I get to it with the difficult
+terrain? Can I get next to Yasha?
+
+MATT: You can get that close right now with the
+speed of 30 feet, yeah.
+
+MARK: No, it’s fine. I will get there and she
+twitches a little bit. Come on! Quickened Levitate
+
+on Beau. I’m going to try and lift Beau up. If
+there’s a tree line above, I’m going to try and
+
+fling her up to the tree line.
+
+MATT: Interesting! For the purposes of this, make
+an arcana check and this is going to be your
+
+attempt to break the grapple of the troll.
+
+MARISHA: Come on, Cali!
+
+MATT: Ten. Not very good at arcana.
+
+LAURA: Maybe?
+
+TRAVIS: What?!
+
+MATT: Two! Fucking! You’re a lucky son of a bitch!
+It has a plus four on its strength roll.
+
+MARK: So (whoop).
+
+MARISHA: Calianna!
+
+MATT: Ripping from the grip of the troll, Beau
+gets lifted into the air, and is now hovering there.
+
+LAURA: Is she far enough away?
+
+MARK: Is there a tree line that I can send her to
+so she can grab on?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You can do that.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+MARK: Grab on!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s like in Willow with the stick.
+Woo!
+
+LAURA: When she is far enough away, I cast Sacred
+Flame.
+
+MARK: For my action, I’m going to do another Acid
+Splash because that was a bonus because of
+
+quickened.
+
+MATT: Beau is now lifted up into the tree. You’re
+just within reach of branches when it comes to
+
+your turn.
+
+SAM: Okay, everything’s fine now.
+
+LIAM: I mean she’s half melted, but…
+
+MATT: I’m going to be honest, you almost killed
+her, man. Scorching Ray if those all had hit,
+
+Beau’s dead. I was like, oh fuck.
+
+LIAM: We got to cut that dead weight, man.
+
+MATT: I got real nervous. Magic Missile would have
+done the same, too, because it’s a splash per
+
+missile.
+
+MARISHA: I have blackmail material on you,
+motherfucker.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Dex save for you. Natural 20, and
+then for you dex save as well. That is an eight.
+
+LAURA: Okay, so you get hit with 2d8.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Nine points!
+
+MATT: Splashes out. No one is close enough to be
+impacted by the effect.
+
+TRAVIS: How’s Febron?
+
+MATT: Febron’s dead. Febron’s like–
+
+TRAVIS: A soggy KFC drumstick.
+
+MATT: Kind of! His arms and legs are dangling
+behind as it’s dragging him through. It’s pretty rough.
+
+TALIESIN: Does the radiant damage seem to have a
+particular effect?
+
+MATT: Not beyond anything else.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+LAURA: We should just let him go, huh?
+
+TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MARK: Get out of here!
+
+MATT: Ending Cali’s turn; Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I’m up? Okay, is there anything in melee
+range with it? No.
+
+MATT: Currently no.
+
+SAM: I’ll move within 30 feet.
+
+MATT: That’s as close as you can get right there.
+That’s not quite within 30 feet.
+
+SAM: That’s as close as I can get?
+
+LIAM: Nott is double speed and has a ring on for
+water walking.
+
+MATT: For water walking, right. I’ll say, for that
+purpose, it does give you the extra movement
+
+there. So now you’re just within 30 feet.
+
+SAM: I don’t know that we’re letting it go, so I’m
+going to cast Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on it.
+
+Throw out a little piece of pastry and I’ll yell
+to it: What’s a swamp frog’s favorite drug?
+
+Croak-aine!
+
+(groaning)
+
+SAM: They’re not winners, guys.
+
+MATT: Wisdom save is a 13. What’s your DC?
+
+SAM: It’s a 14.
+
+MATT: 14, it fails! It immediately falls prone,
+laughing with the corpse of Febron being flailed
+
+about in the air as it’s spinning. The legs and
+arms–
+
+SAM: I’ll use my extra action to attack.
+
+MATT: Well technically, you can only do the bonus
+action to attack if you use the attack action.
+
+SAM: This is an extra attack action.
+
+MATT: Oh! Because you’re hasted! That’s right!
+Sorry, I was thinking of the bonus action, you’re
+
+correct.
+
+SAM: I rolled a 16 plus seven, 23.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+SAM: Because it’s prone do I get advantage or
+anything?
+
+LAURA: No, you get disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Oh, natural 20, so it still hits, 23. But do
+I get sneak attack? No. Because it’s prone, no.
+
+MATT: No, because you do not have advantage on the
+attack, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: Oh, look. it’s a ten to hit.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+SAM: I mean ten points of damage.
+
+MATT: It sinks into it.
+
+SAM: I don’t get a bonus action off of that
+attack?
+
+MATT: You do because it’s an attack action.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll fire again. Natural 20 and a 20,
+just a straight 20.
+
+MATT: Okay, that hits. To two? Oh man, that
+sucks.
+
+SAM: Another seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage. That finishes your
+turn, Nott, well done. On the ground you’re firing
+
+both of those. They’re sticking inside, these
+sprays of poison toxin out of his body as it’s
+
+laughing on the ground. For Tasha’s Hideous
+laughter, does it get a chance to break?
+
+SAM: Let me see, at the end of each of its turns
+or each time it takes damage, a target can make a
+
+wisdom saving throw.
+
+MATT: Nope, that was a two.
+
+SAM: Target has advantage on that save if it’s
+triggered by that damage.
+
+MATT: The second roll was a 16, so it succeeds. It
+fell prone, gave you disadvantage on the attacks,
+
+and then got out of your spell. Lesson learned.
+
+SAM: Nice. Right, good to know.
+
+MATT: But it is prone. That finishes your turn,
+Nott. Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Where is the little bird?
+
+MATT: Right here.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s really not much I can do here,
+so I’m going to–
+
+TRAVIS: Send it packing, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: I got nothing I can do.
+
+LAURA: Then get the fuck out of here.
+
+SAM: (Infernal voice) Get the fuck out of here.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I can do that, I’m going to do one
+more attempt to do a Devil’s Tongue.
+
+TRAVIS: What does it sound like?
+
+TALIESIN: (demonic) Scoot, scoot! Scoot!
+
+MATT: It rolled a three minus one, so it succeeds.
+It takes what type of psychic damage?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, wow, holy cow. I’m not used to it
+working. 5th-level, so hey, look at that, it
+
+actually has gone up. 2d4 psychic damage. That’s
+four points of damage and it has disadvantage on
+
+its next attack roll.
+
+MATT: Interesting, okay, so psychic damage strikes
+it and it does not spray the venomous toxin upon
+
+receiving the psychic damage. But it is grabbing
+its head, now the laughter has subsided.
+
+TALIESIN: Brain freeze.
+
+MATT: It’s trying to get back to its feet. That
+finishes your turn, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s all I got.
+
+MATT: Beau, you’re up in the trees. Fjord, you’re
+on the ground.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: You’re levitating.
+
+MARISHA: I am levitating.
+
+LAURA: Can you try and hold on to the branch?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, can I scootch and perch up on the
+branch?
+
+MATT: Sure, you still have the levitation spell on
+you, so if you were to leap, you’d just glide.
+
+LIAM: Marry Poppins!
+
+MARISHA: I grip the tree branch with my thighs,
+I’m going to force grip it.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re on the branch there.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, side saddle and then I’m going to–
+I don’t know why I’m acting like I’m drawing a bow
+
+like I’m a bow user because I’ve never been a bow
+user, but my name is Beau. I’m going to take two
+
+shurikens and do that.
+
+TRAVIS: Hadouken!
+
+MARISHA: First attack, don’t fuck me Gil, 15.
+
+MATT: 15 just hits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: When it is prone you have disadvantage, so
+roll again to attack. It’s a ranged attack.
+
+MARISHA: Oh wow, that’s 14.
+
+MATT: 14 just misses. It sinks into the swamp mud
+next to it.
+
+MARISHA: Bummer, second one, natural 20.
+
+MATT: One more time because this has disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: Okay, so that does hit, roll damage on the
+second one.
+
+MARISHA: Which is a d4 we’ve said, correct?
+
+MATT: That is correct.
+
+LIAM: Oh, cocked. Super cocked. More!
+
+MARISHA: Sure, I’ll take that. That’s a ten.
+
+MATT: Ten?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, damage.
+
+MATT: Four plus–
+
+MARISHA: Four plus six, my attack bonus, right?
+
+MATT: Damage bonus.
+
+MARISHA: My damage bonus. Oh I’m sorry, eight.
+
+MATT: Eight, that’s what I thought. Eight points
+of damage. The shuriken sinks into its chest;
+
+another spray of toxin. Nothing in the vicinity to
+take the damage, that finish your turn?
+
+MARISHA: I have a bonus, right?
+
+MATT: You do.
+
+MARISHA: But I can’t do a range.
+
+MATT: No, it’s only unarmed. I think that’s your
+turn.
+
+TALIESIN: Glug glug.
+
+TRAVIS: Glug glug?
+
+MARISHA: I don’t have a healing potion.
+
+TRAVIS: She doesn’t have a glug glug.
+
+MATT: Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll move five feet closer towards el
+troll, and I’ll say: Get the fuck out of here! And
+
+I’ll Eldritch Blast twice.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Disadvantage on each strike.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s going to miss anyway, and the
+second one. They both miss.
+
+MATT: They both go passing right over its body as
+it’s trying to get up. It slips for a second, and
+
+what would’ve hit, it ducks out of the way just in
+time and both of them arc off, hitting nothing.
+
+TRAVIS: You get your ass out of this forest!
+
+MATT: That finishes your turn. It’s now the
+troll’s turn. It gets up, half its movement, and
+
+it’s going to run 15 feet this way and then a full
+action run for another 30 feet, and it’s darting
+
+off with the corpse of Febron under its arm. It
+has its prize and it’s running off into the swamp.
+
+It’s hurting, but you’re watching its flesh stitch
+together a little more and starting to heal up
+
+from some of the wounds.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, get the fuck on out! Nobody wants
+you here, anyway!
+
+MATT: Is anybody pursuing?
+
+LIAM: Yes, it’s in my range. I will walk 15 feet forward
+and cast Fire Bolt from here. It’s a 120-foot range.
+
+MATT: All right, go ahead and roll for that.
+
+LIAM: Oh that’s not the d20, hold on. That’s a
+natural one.
+
+MATT: Nope. The Fire Bolt vanishes beyond its
+space there. Anybody else with a ranged attack
+
+that wants to try and make it?
+
+SAM: Sure, I’ll take a shot.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: At disadvantage?
+
+MATT: At this range it is.
+
+SAM: 12.
+
+MATT: 12 misses. It’s starting to hit the mist and
+its form is starting to become a little harder to see
+
+and it’s running with such an intense speed.
+
+SAM: I’ve got one more hasted action.
+
+MATT: You do. And a bonus action attack if you
+want to.
+
+SAM: Terrible. 14?
+
+MATT: 14? No, just misses.
+
+SAM: Okay, and a bonus attack action. 16.
+
+MATT: Roll damage. It does strike.
+
+SAM: Hey, that’s one!
+
+MARISHA: Kill it!
+
+SAM: Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage. It manages to catch
+it. It’s still running. Fjord, you’re the only one
+
+with a proper ranged attack here if you want to
+try.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, I’ll do it. I’ll take two more
+Eldritch Blasts at it. At disadvantage, right?
+
+That’s a natural one. My bad. 19. 18! That’ll hit,
+that’s 25.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: 1d10. That’s nine plus four. 13 points of
+Eldritch Blast.
+
+MARISHA: He’s got our gold!
+
+MATT: It gets blasted. Still going.
+
+TRAVIS: You fucking piece of shit!
+
+MARISHA: How far away is he right now?
+
+MATT: Well, now it takes its next turn to do a
+full 60-foot run.
+
+MARISHA: I couldn’t jump one more and try to get
+him a little–
+
+LAURA: I don’t think he’s going down with it.
+
+MATT: At this point, the fact that you guys are
+having a hard time hitting it and the rate that
+
+it’s healing, you’re starting to think–
+
+MARISHA: Oh, he’s healing?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t you dare tell us what we’re starting
+to think!
+
+MATT: I’m just saying, you can continue to pursue
+if you want to.
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+LAURA: But we’d be idiots.
+
+MARK: But the implication is: You really don’t.
+
+SAM: We know where he lives!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s right. We know where his
+hovel is. So lesson learned.
+
+LAURA: Oh, there’s a dead person I’m talking to!
+
+SAM: We have one more question!
+
+LAURA: I turn around and run back to the dead
+person.
+
+TRAVIS: Beau is just: You fucking–!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m doggy-paddling through the
+air.
+
+SAM: Will you let our friend down?
+
+MARK: Oh yeah, sorry Ms. Beau!
+
+MARISHA: I slow fall.
+
+TRAVIS: Still one more question.
+
+LIAM: Matt, we’re still in the middle of nowhere
+at this point, or we’re–?
+
+MATT: You guys are right at the edge of where
+these bodies have been propped up as a warning,
+
+which, from what Febron told you, was placed up
+to prevent people from coming towards the safe house.
+
+LIAM: We don’t have our guide anymore. Ask this
+one which way to go.
+
+LAURA: Oh, this isn’t the safe house?
+
+SAM: This is the gate of the safe house.
+
+MATT: You’re starting to get close to it, as far
+as you know.
+
+LIAM: As far as we know.
+
+MARISHA: If these are the warnings.
+
+SAM: Specific directions.
+
+LAURA: All right. I guess that’s what I’ll ask it,
+then, because that’s all I can ask.
+
+MATT: As you approach the head is tracking you the
+whole time.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, we got distracted, there was a troll
+that came and stole our guide. I think you might
+
+have known him. Anyway, which way is the actual
+safe house that we’re trying to get to?
+
+MATT: The head curves off to the right between the
+tree that it’s stapled to and the other body
+
+that’s propped up. “100 feet that way.”
+
+LAURA: Oh shit. We totally could have seen it!
+
+SAM: I can see it, it’s right there!
+
+MATT: You don’t see any safe house. You don’t see
+anything like that. At that point the head (sighs)
+
+continues back.
+
+LAURA: Well, at least we know it’s 100 feet, so we
+can search for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Are there actual knives stuck in–
+
+MATT: Looks to be two shortswords have been jammed
+into it.
+
+TALIESIN: Shortswords or daggers?
+
+MATT: Shortswords.
+
+LAURA: Do they have anything in their pockets?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we’re looting these bodies right
+now. That’s nice.
+
+LAURA: Investigation, you say? 14?
+
+MATT: Okay. Rummaging through the pockets and the
+various baubles you can find, you find four pieces
+
+of gold, a handful of about 12 silver– this is on
+the halfling– a charm, looks like it’s made from
+
+a dried animal foot of some kind, like a dog or a
+coyote.
+
+TALIESIN: (hiccups)
+
+MATT: (imitates a hiccup)
+
+LIAM: It’s cursed hiccups.
+
+MATT: And a note that’s keeping track of
+locations, but it’s mostly soaked now and the ink
+
+has all run, and you make out bits of words here
+and there, but it makes no sense to you.
+
+LAURA: I’m taking it.
+
+SAM: Give me the charm.
+
+LAURA: Are you going to check if it’s magic?
+
+SAM: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: I don’t check if it’s magic.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use Mending on the note. Oh
+wait, it doesn’t make the words come back.
+
+Remember, we already figured this part out.
+
+MATT: Yeah, the paper is now dry and a full piece
+of paper, but the ink is still as smeared and lost
+
+as it was before.
+
+SAM: Can I look at the words?
+
+MATT: The few words you make out involve a time.
+One of them says two hours past the noon sun,
+
+that’s the most you make out of one sentence. Part
+of it’s smeared. It’s like Steve Martin in The
+
+Jerk trying to read the love letter. (gibberish)
+The other things you can make out are four men
+
+required, and then another one saying something
+about Shady– and that’s all you make out.
+
+LAURA: Shady grove. I bet the Shady grove.
+
+SAM: Shadycreek.
+
+LIAM: I’ll say while Jester was doing all that,
+Caleb sat down and took out his spellbook and
+
+started ritual casting Detect Magic.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, in fact, could we could take a short
+rest while Caleb’s doing that since that was a
+
+little gnarlier than we anticipated?
+
+LIAM: Well, maybe after I do that because I’m
+tapped.
+
+MARISHA: My body hurts.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to heal you.
+
+MATT: Okay, we’ll take a short rest here and while
+we’re doing that we’ll also take a break. Restroom
+
+here. We’ll be back here in just a few minutes.
+Thank you for kicking with us. We have our
+
+Wyrmwood giveaway today. We have a fantastic
+lacewood deck box. Lacewood, it’s got a really
+
+cool texture. It looks like a chainmail. It’s one
+of the cooler-looking woods, in my opinion. This
+
+is going to be a giveaway for one of you lucky
+winners in the chat in the US or Canada, excluding
+
+Quebec. Head on over to the Twitch chat to enter
+the phrase tonight. Enter only once or you will be
+
+disqualified. However, for tonight, the word is
+“bird.” Bird is the word.
+
+MATT, TRAVIS, MARISHA, MARK, TALIESIN, ASHLEY:
+(singing) Bird, bird, bird. Bird is the word.
+
+B-b-b-bird, bird, bird.
+
+MATT: We’ll be back in a few minutes, guys. We’ll
+see you then. Enjoy the break time, enjoy the
+
+rewatch of our awesome D&D Beyond video. Back here
+in a minute.
+
+[drum intro]
+
+♪ You got the perfect warlock, ♪
+
+♪ her weapons and supplies ♪
+
+♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪
+
+♪ 'cause you’re so disorganized! ♪
+
+♪ You click open the web page ♪
+
+♪ you heard about on Critical Role ♪
+
+♪ And now you’re ready to kick some butt ♪
+
+♪ in that mineshaft full of gnolls! ♪
+
+♪ It’s D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond ♪
+
+♪ Yeah D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond ♪
+
+♪ You got your stats, you got your sword ♪
+
+♪ and you’ve got your invisible wand! ♪
+
+♪ It’s D&D! (D&D) ♪
+
+♪ D&D! ♪
+
+♪ D&D Beyond! ♪
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Twitch viewer! Didn’t see you there.
+We here at Geek & Sundry appreciate your
+
+viewership and your subscription. But did you know
+that if you have an Amazon Prime account, you can
+
+get a free subscription to a single Twitch channel
+of your choice? In fact, you might even have an
+
+Amazon Prime account and not even know it. It’s a
+proven fact that five out of five Amazon Prime
+
+account users have Amazon Prime because they simply
+forgot to cancel their 30-day free trial. So put that
+
+free two-day shipping to use and subscribe to Geek
+& Sundry. But remember, you have to re-subscribe
+
+each month to your Twitch channel of choice, which
+is kind of irritating. But, you know, it’s
+
+ultimately not our design. So give Geek & Sundry a
+sub because, you know, we did shoot this fake PSA.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome back! I just
+dropped my note. I’ll pick it up in a second. So
+
+before we get into it, we’re going to announce the
+winner of our giveaway! The winner of our
+
+fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway is the_bowmeister.
+(surfer voice) The_bowmeister, enjoy your
+
+Wyrmwood! (normal voice) So congratulations, we’ll
+get that sent out to you ASAP.
+
+LIAM: That’s very Wildemount, the_bowmeister.
+
+MATT: The_bowmeister? Ja, possibly would be.
+Back into the game we go.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, now you got it on Mark!
+
+MATT: Ugh! (blood spraying)
+
+TALIESIN: Roll a d4.
+
+SAM: Just real quick, I wanted to give a quick
+shoutout to my brother-in-law, Peter Habib of Mr.
+
+Fantastic Music. They did the track for the
+animated thing.
+
+TRAVIS: So good!
+
+ASHLEY: So good! I love it.
+
+SAM: (Scottish accent) I love it!
+
+MATT: Indeed. Bringing us back into the game. You
+guys have taken your short rest, healed up a bit,
+
+and recovered from the chaos of the swamp you
+managed to trudge through. You’ve lost your guide,
+
+but you’ve survived thus far. The rest of you, at
+least. What would you like to do? Oh, you were casting–
+
+LIAM: Scorching Ray on Beau.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+MARK: Finish her off.
+
+TRAVIS: Finish her.
+
+MARISHA: I trusted you, motherfucker.
+
+LIAM: I told you everything. You have to die!
+
+MATT: Utilizing Detect Magic, you were saying–
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: On?
+
+LIAM: Well, it’s like blacklight, so on everything
+on what they were looking at.
+
+MATT: Nothing magical within what was found on the
+bodies, no.
+
+LIAM: Is Nott glowing in any kind of way that I am
+not used to?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: How far does that extend?
+
+LIAM: 30 feet, I believe.
+
+TRAVIS: It occurred to me from what your friend
+said that this location might not be entirely
+
+above ground any longer.
+
+LAURA: Mm-hmm. My dead friend? Yeah, I think it
+might be hidden or something.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Two hours past, what was it, noon?
+
+MARISHA: Two past noon.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe it only becomes visible at a certain
+time?
+
+MARISHA: Four men required.
+
+LIAM: You, my good friend, would you walk with me
+in the direction that the dead person said that
+
+this entrance is in? Before my magic runs out.
+
+MARISHA: Why do you feel the need to call me a
+good friend?
+
+LIAM: You’re right. Person that I work with, would
+you walk over before my spell runs out so that I
+
+can use it to help the group?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Why don’t we all head in that direction,
+maybe? In a large, well knit group.
+
+TRAVIS: Since there are things that’ll be snagging
+bitches when we get separated.
+
+MARK: Is it dark, or is it–?
+
+MATT: No, at this point it’s later afternoon,
+maybe. It’s like two or three o'clock.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe like, two past noon?
+
+MATT: Maybe.
+
+LIAM: Caleb knows exactly what time it is. Liam
+likes to burn his friends.
+
+SAM: Caleb also likes to burn his friends.
+
+LAURA: Aw.
+
+TALIESIN: (singing) One thing, we’ve got it
+coming.
+
+MATT: You left early enough in the day where you
+aren’t threatened for dusk for another few hours.
+
+You guys continue on past the tree?
+
+LIAM: Towards the 100-foot mark that the–
+
+SAM: Should we scan for traps?
+
+LAURA: Probably.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARK: Caleb’s Detect Magic would probably pick up
+traces on my bracelet.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+LIAM: So it glows.
+
+MATT: Outside of the space around you or the
+trinkets found within the corpses, nothing. But
+
+you do see the mild glow from the bracelet on
+Cali’s arm.
+
+LAURA: Hey Cali, can I ask you a question?
+
+SAM: 19.
+
+MARK: Sure, Jester!
+
+LAURA: On check traps, sorry.
+
+SAM: No, go ahead.
+
+LAURA: This bowl that we’re looking for.
+
+MARK: Yep.
+
+LAURA: You said it was used in rituals.
+
+MARK: I think it is, yeah. It’s more that I know
+that it’s part of a set that I know this cult were
+
+looking for and I want to stop them getting it.
+
+SAM: Like a tea set?
+
+LAURA: Were you ever used in rituals with these
+bowls?
+
+MARK: Kind of. Not ones involving this bowl. But
+other rituals. God, this sounds really horrible to
+
+say. They weren’t nice people. They kill people
+and I kind of helped them because I didn’t know
+
+any better. You got to remember, Serissa, the
+priestess who raised me, she told me all this
+
+stuff about the Tyrant, about the Queen, and I
+thought that that was just what the world was
+
+like, you know, I thought that that was good, and
+she told me that these other people were bad, and
+
+thieves, and that they were being killed for
+righteous purpose.
+
+LAURA: Who were the bad people?
+
+SAM: What queen?
+
+MARK: The Scaled Tyrant. They call her the Queen.
+She’s the Queen of Dragons. Five draconic heads
+
+represent her, and that kind of thing.
+
+SAM: So not a real queen?
+
+MARK: Maybe she���s a real queen, I don’t know. I
+just always heard to her referred to as the
+
+Queen.
+
+ASHLEY: She has five heads?
+
+MARK: That’s what the stories say. One for each
+color of dragon.
+
+LIAM: Would I know about this?
+
+MATT: Make a religion check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, I know about re– No. I don’t know
+anything about religion.
+
+MATT: You can make a religion check if you want to
+try and recall information.
+
+LIAM: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. You’ve heard of the Scaled Tyrant. You
+don’t know a whole lot of information. But you
+
+know, through your research, that one of the
+entities that partook in elements of the Calamity.
+
+LIAM: Obviously not part of the okayed deities of
+the Empire.
+
+MATT: No. Not at all. Is definitely considered one
+of the betrayer gods in the Calamity, though very
+
+selfish and is considered by many to be the
+patron– whether it be the mother of, or the
+
+patron of, chromatic dragons.
+
+MARK: Serissa, the priestess who found me, she was
+nice to me, but she would torture and kill people
+
+in her name.
+
+LAURA: What kind of people?
+
+MARK: Merchants, people who had things the cult
+wanted and they wanted to take, and they said it
+
+was rightfully theirs. But I’ve learned that it’s
+not anymore. And yeah, I helped them do that.
+
+That’s why I want to stop these bowls. I want to
+stop them doing this to other people.
+
+LAURA: They are super evil bowls?
+
+MARK: I don’t think so. I think they’re like
+magically minor, like a little bit magic, but as
+
+long as they’re not used by the wrong people they
+should be fine.
+
+ASHLEY: What do you plan to do with the bowl once
+you get it?
+
+MARK: Destroy it if I can. Take it and hide it
+somewhere that they can’t find it. They raised me,
+
+and I learned a lot, and I know what they’re
+capable of and I feel responsible for the things I
+
+helped them do. So I feel like it’s my
+responsibility to stop them.
+
+ASHLEY: How was the bowl used in the ritual?
+
+MARK: It’s not one I was familiar with, but I just
+know that it’s part of a set. There’s six of them,
+
+I think. Different things that they all use.
+
+MARISHA: Are you trying to look for all six of
+them?
+
+MARK: If I can, but they’re hard to find. The cult
+works in shadows, they keep themselves really
+
+secretive. I wasn’t allowed outside of our temple
+where I was raised. They gave me everything I
+
+wanted, but I wasn’t allowed outside, so I guess I
+can be a bit naive about a few things.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think being stuck inside makes you
+naive. I mean, I know some people that were stuck
+
+inside that know lots of things.
+
+MARK: Really? I hope that I can meet them. I feel
+like I need to learn a lot more, you know? So many
+
+people treat me– I ask if I can trust them, they
+say yes, and then they trick me. Or they use me to
+
+do bad things.
+
+LAURA: That’s not okay.
+
+MARK: I know, right!
+
+LIAM: She’s talking about herself.
+
+TRAVIS: Cali, do you plan to go back to Port
+Damali after this if you’re successful?
+
+MARK: Maybe, yeah. I’ll try and get away, I guess.
+I’ve got a friend there, a legionnaire. He rescued
+
+me. He’s a dwarf called Grim. I’m sure he’d help
+me find a secure place for the artifact. I don’t
+
+know. Yeah. I guess I’ll try and find somewhere to
+hide them and keep on trying to stop these guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Absolutely. Well, let’s try our luck.
+
+LIAM: It seems like a very large task for one
+person.
+
+MATT: At this point, Nott has completed quite a
+thorough sweep of the vicinity as you move
+
+forward. No traps. You do notice, as you head into
+this next open clearing, there’s thick patches of
+
+vines and roots that descend into a circular space
+that is awash with swamp water and general bog rot
+
+that is floating over the surface, like a moat has
+formed naturally around this giant banyan tree
+
+about 30 or 40 feet across from side to side. It
+is gargantuan. The roots rise up, and merge at
+
+different places where the tree itself begins to
+expand about ten feet up before it reaches out and
+
+curves and carves into the earth before
+disappearing beneath the water, the still, awful
+
+swamp water that surrounds it. You also see,
+across the front of its trunk in the vicinity, at
+
+least the bits where the sunlight comes through
+from the rather choked boughs above that are
+
+shading the area quite heavily, six more bodies
+tied to branches and roots with rope and vine.
+
+Their bodies covered with similar wounds as the
+ones you inspected before. Some are slumped
+
+against the base of the roots. Some are held up
+and vines wrapped around them and they are stapled
+
+at an angle onto the sides of the tree. They’re
+all currently placed as a warning to either notify
+
+or fend off anyone who would wander too close.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think the fish people like the safe
+house being here.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe they want the safe house for
+themselves?
+
+LAURA: Maybe this tree is sacred and it was being
+used as a safe house and that’s not okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Certainly not welcome.
+
+TALIESIN: Would have been used as a safe house for
+awhile I imagine, though.
+
+LIAM: The tree is not giving off anything, no?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+LAURA: Cali, can you make this water around the
+tree go away?
+
+MARK: Yeah, actually, I think I should be able to
+do something about that. I’ll Shape Water and I
+
+can push it around in a five foot cube, so I can
+part it a little bit. Or I can turn it clear as well.
+
+MATT: You can part areas of it, but it’s about 15
+feet across, as far as the width of it and it
+
+changes in width depending on which place on the
+tree you head. It is, essentially, a waist-deep
+
+area of water. So you could move with it and–
+
+MARK: Can I shallow it and disperse it, so it
+still has water, but it shrink it down five feet
+
+so it’s not as deep to walk through?
+
+MATT: You can bring it to just past knee height
+within a very localized area to you.
+
+MARK: That’s about the best I can do Jester, I’m
+sorry.
+
+LAURA: Oh, no, that’s really impressive.
+
+SAM: I feel like Caleb could have done it.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, can you do that, too?
+
+LIAM: No. I do not know how to do it.
+
+LAURA: He can’t do it, Nott.
+
+SAM: He’s being modest. He could do it.
+
+LIAM: Nott, I have limitations. I can do many
+things like you–
+
+SAM: Bren!
+
+LAURA: Should we try to go towards the tree?
+Towards all the dead bodies?
+
+TRAVIS: Is the water around the tree in a circle,
+like it pans out from around the side?
+
+MATT: Kind of. There’s a big clearing around this
+tree. It’s natural for the most part, but it looks
+
+like this area is centered around the tree.
+
+MARISHA: Do I see anything like landmarks or
+anything out of place surrounding the tree?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Is the water up to our waist now?
+
+MATT: Well no, you haven’t submerged in the water
+yet. But it looks about waist high as you lower
+
+the water level.
+
+MARISHA: It’s all right. 14.
+
+MATT: You do glance up and see a band of teal
+fabric tied around one of the branches or the
+
+edges of the roots at the top part about ten feet
+up that has been weathered and dirtied from just
+
+being there for a long time. A lot of the color
+has faded. But you just barely pick out its location.
+
+MARISHA: It’s just one little ribbon?
+
+MATT: It looks like it might have been a bandana
+that was wrapped and tied around a root above.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to see if I can climb the tree
+and get to it.
+
+MATT: Okay. So you wade through the water.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll go with her, just to accompany.
+
+TALIESIN: Nott, do you want to walk on top of the
+water for a bit and keep an eye for anything
+
+underneath the surface?
+
+SAM: Well, what if something grabs me from under
+the surface?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, what if something grabs you from
+the shore? Like a troll.
+
+TRAVIS: Or when, if someone grabs you from the
+shore.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll walk around.
+
+MARK: Is Nott a nickname for Bren?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MARK: That makes a lot more sense because you keep
+calling her Nott and I just didn’t get it.
+
+MARISHA: Sometimes we call her Nott Bren. Yeah.
+
+MARK: Okay. I mean, sure.
+
+TALIESIN: We were drunk at the time, it just sort
+of happened.
+
+LIAM: She’s as small as a tree knot, you know,
+so– cute.
+
+MARK: Oh, well Nott, if I’m allowed to call you
+that–
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARK: I can make the water clear so that you can
+see if there’s anything that could grab you.
+
+SAM: Oh!
+
+MARISHA: What was that thing you said about
+honesty earlier? I can’t remember.
+
+LIAM: You don’t know any of the fact that I almost
+killed you, Marisha Ray.
+
+MARISHA: I’m talking about before you almost
+killed me when you had that great quote
+
+about honesty earlier.
+
+MATT: Beau, make an athletics check to try and
+climb the tree.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, what I was trying to do for us?
+
+TRAVIS: Easiest to remember.
+
+LIAM and LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MARK: My wisdom is eight so I can’t pick up on any
+of this.
+
+MATT: Athletics. To climb the tree.
+
+LAURA: Huh? Damn.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+MATT: It takes a while to even get close, but the
+general moisture in the air makes it slick and you
+
+keep slipping down the side.
+
+SAM: What’s up there?
+
+MARISHA: Can I have Fjord give me a boost?
+
+SAM: What’s up there?
+
+MATT: You can try. Roll–
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a teal piece of fabric that’s tied
+up on a branch.
+
+MATT: A tiny piece of teal fabric tied–
+
+SAM: How far up?
+
+MATT: Eight to ten feet up.
+
+SAM: I’ll just reach it with my Mage Hand.
+
+MATT: (popping noise) Do you untie it?
+
+SAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You pull it and you bring it down.
+It’s an old, starched, weathered bandana.
+
+TALIESIN: Why don’t you try pulling on the branch
+that it was tied to?
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: How deep is the water without the water
+being dispersed? Near the base of the tree.
+
+MATT: About three feet.
+
+TALIESIN: The water is now crystal clear, by the
+way.
+
+MATT: Oh yeah, so now the water’s clear and you
+can see below there’s thick sediment, muck, a few
+
+bones of some wayward creature that long has been
+left to rot beneath the water but there’s nothing
+
+living in there aside from toads, tadpoles, other
+small slithering natural creatures that call the swamp home.
+
+MARK: I will lower it, now that I’ve seen it’s
+clear, and I’ll say: Well, I’m happy to step in
+
+first. You guys were kind enough to bring me, I’m
+happy to step through and make sure it’s okay. I’ll start.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you make your way through, catching
+up to Beau and Fjord who are at the base of the
+
+tree. You get up to the base of the tree now. The
+rest of you guys follow suit?
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+MATT: You all cross past the water path. You’re
+now at the base of the tree. You, Nott, have the
+
+strange teal faded scarf now in your grasp.
+
+SAM: It’s just a scarf?
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Nothing else has happened?
+
+SAM: You want me to pull on the branch?
+
+TALIESIN: Pull on the branch that it was tied to.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, maybe it’ll open something.
+
+SAM: I’ll pull on that branch.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh jeez.
+
+SAM: Vigorously pull on it!
+
+LIAM: Maybe there’s two branches.
+
+MATT: The gif machine.
+
+SAM: Huh?
+
+MATT: The gif machine, Sam Riegel.
+
+SAM: (strained yelling)
+
+MATT: Oh god. The branch itself is pretty sturdy.
+The portions of the tree here do not bend very
+
+much and it doesn’t seem to react. The strength of
+the Mage Hand isn’t very strong.
+
+LAURA: Are there any knots on the tree? Like
+underneath where the ribbon was?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TALIESIN: What? Where did that even go?
+
+LAURA: It’s right here.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh.
+
+LAURA: 12.
+
+MATT: 12? Yeah. You glance around and as you were
+placing your hands against part of it some of it
+
+shifts, it wobbles. Now getting a glance, there’s
+a piece of weathered driftwood or separate wood
+
+that has been pressed up and tucked behind some of
+the roots to look like it’s part of the tree. But
+
+it’s a little bit of a different texture, a
+different type of wood and as you press on it, it
+
+wiggles. You shift it–
+
+TALIESIN: Traps!
+
+LAURA: Check for traps, Nott.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARK: Truly blessed with such wisdom.
+
+SAM: I will check for traps.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: 16? 16.
+
+MATT: 16. It does not appear to be trapped.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to move it then.
+
+SAM: Great.
+
+MATT: You wiggle it out, pull it free and now you
+can see about a four-foot carved hollow in the
+
+tree that leads to a dark, lightless interior.
+
+SAM: You did it!
+
+LAURA: Well, you and Beau and me did it.
+
+SAM: But you did it.
+
+LAURA: Aww.
+
+SAM: With my help.
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+TRAVIS: Nicely done. Who’s first?
+
+MARISHA: I almost died today, motherfuckers, I
+almost died.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you want to throw some light in
+here?
+
+SAM: That was Caleb’s fault.
+
+MARISHA: That was Caleb’s fault, exactly, and I
+can’t remember the thing he said about honesty and remembering.
+
+LIAM: This is all meta conversation. You guys have
+no idea that Liam almost used the wrong spell.
+
+Caleb was on point.
+
+MARK: I can go first and summon some light.
+
+LAURA: You can do light?
+
+MARK: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Yeah, Caleb can do light too; it’s not the
+greatest.
+
+TRAVIS: Wait, let’s just hold on. I’ll go in with
+darkvision without setting off any lights that
+
+might herald them.
+
+LAURA: What if there’s traps on the inside,
+though?
+
+TRAVIS: Then I’ll get hurt.
+
+MARK: Matt, I’ll cast Light still behind these
+guys, but it comes out of her draconic eye. She
+
+brushes her hair to the side and she has a yellow
+draconic eye on her left side.
+
+MATT: All right. It glows like a torchlight in the
+vicinity.
+
+LAURA: Cali, you’re so cool.
+
+MARK: Thanks, Jester! You’re so cute. I love it.
+
+LAURA: Thank you! I love you.
+
+MARK: Aww!
+
+MATT: As you step inside, Fjord, you notice a
+fairly well-cleared interior that smells of marsh
+
+water and lamp oil. Glancing about, there are two
+hooks on the wall that have been jammed in that
+
+carry the top part of some sort of oil lantern
+that has been shattered against the wall. The
+
+glass itself is broken. The metal is bent and you
+now can see there’s some soaked lamp oil that has
+
+fallen from those impacts that has hit the ground
+on the wall nearby and is offering that additional
+
+smell to the room. The floor is somewhat soggy
+with moss and bits of sand and gravel as well as
+
+the occasional heavy root that breaks through the
+surface of that soft floor. There are some pieces
+
+of broken wood slats, but besides that, the
+chamber appears to be empty.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t see anything inside here. Looks
+like there was a broken lamp, so careful with fire.
+
+MARK: There’s got to be more here, right? This
+can’t be it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I’ll push in a little bit more.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re now stepping into the chamber.
+The chamber’s about 30 feet wide. It’s just round.
+
+TRAVIS: Looking up?
+
+MATT: You look up. The ceiling’s about 12 feet
+tall and there’s some hanging roots that are
+
+dangling from the top. It looks like it’s been
+carved away maybe.
+
+MARISHA: Does it feel like it’s bigger on the
+inside?
+
+MATT: No. It matches the size. It’s probably about
+two feet to three feet of thickness of the actual
+
+tree trunk and the interior’s hollow.
+
+TRAVIS: Do I notice any furniture, articles,
+clothing?
+
+MATT: No. Make an investigation check if you want
+to.
+
+LAURA: Are there any trap doors on the floor?
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: Okay. A couple things. Though you don’t have
+a sense of color– are you the only one in the
+
+chamber right now?
+
+TRAVIS: I believe Cali.
+
+ASHLEY: I was behind.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, we’re in there as well.
+
+MATT: You went in there as well?
+
+MARK: Yeah, to give them light.
+
+MATT: Right. The rest of you guys step into the
+chamber and the light comes in. What you failed to
+
+see because it was a change of color becomes
+immediately apparent. There are scattered splashes
+
+of blood across areas of the walls inside. They’re
+dried, but dried enough to the point where they
+
+haven’t gone completely black and then
+disintegrated. So this is relatively recent, weeks
+
+maybe. As you guys are inspecting the space, there
+are certain gashes against– it looks like there
+
+was definitely a fight and scuffle. The soft
+ground here has signs of turbulent movement as
+
+well as a number of smeared grooves in the ground
+that snake and spiral about.
+
+LIAM: Are there any immediate threats in there,
+Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Not that I can see.
+
+MATT: Fjord, as you’re glancing about answering
+this question, you look down on the far north
+
+corner of it and where some of the roots have
+gathered and come down, there’s one space where
+
+you don’t see the wall of the tree behind it. As
+you move the root out of the way, there is an
+
+actual hole about two and a half feet wide that
+descends below the tree.
+
+TRAVIS: Not any danger in the chamber, but it
+looks like there’s more to this room.
+
+MARK: Does it look like they were dragging bodies
+down there? The blood streaks and stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: Could’ve been.
+
+MARK: Do they lead there?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, do the tracks lead to the hole?
+
+MATT: There are some spatters of blood and there
+are some things that give the sign of being pulled
+
+on as well as pieces and shards of wood, including
+bits of porcelain, some object that had shattered
+
+and broken. Looks like whatever may have been
+within this chamber at some point, a lot of it’s
+
+been brought down there.
+
+TRAVIS: Nott Bren, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I’ve got to go down there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. By yourself.
+
+LAURA: That’s where the fish people live! Are
+there fish scales on the ground?
+
+MARK: Do you need light?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: That would help.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll help with this one. Smelling the
+air for fishy. Oh, doesn’t matter anyway.
+
+LAURA: 17.
+
+MATT: You do manage to pull through. You do see a
+small piece of thick scaled hide that was carved
+
+off, probably as part of a scuffle.
+
+LAURA: Fish skin!
+
+MATT: It’s pretty tough.
+
+LAURA: It’s tough.
+
+MATT: It’s salty.
+
+LAURA: It’s kind of salty.
+
+MARISHA: Tuna? Salmon?
+
+LAURA: Smells like fish.
+
+TRAVIS: Brackish flesh?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to put it in my bag.
+
+TRAVIS: Gross.
+
+MARISHA: Before we go down or as these guys go
+down, can I take a lap and look at the bodies on
+
+the outside and see if I recognize any of them?
+
+MATT: Recognize any of the bodies?
+
+MARISHA: The six bodies.
+
+LIAM: Outside.
+
+MATT: Okay. Glancing past and taking a look;
+there’s nobody that you’ve seen before that is
+
+amongst this crew. They all appear to be darkly
+dressed, generally to keep out of sight. You do
+
+see two of the members there that have an
+accumulation of neck tattoos. You’ve seen the ones
+
+back in Zadash that were almost full bands of
+designs. These individuals have only sections of
+
+it. You start getting the idea that the more
+they’ve worked with whatever organization that
+
+work this is, the more completion they’ve had of
+certain jobs depending on what the job is, a
+
+certain type of individual acquires tattoos as a
+sign of how long they’ve been there and how
+
+successful they’ve been.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool. Okay. So they all seem like
+smugglers?
+
+MATT: At one point possibly.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a quick round of their pockets?
+
+MATT: Investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. Just real quick!
+
+MATT: With disadvantage, because it’s quick.
+
+LIAM: –and puts light up in the tree out there
+with her.
+
+MATT: What’s that?
+
+LIAM: I’m outside with her and I’m casting Dancing
+Lights into the trees so that she can see better.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. You manage to scrape away about 17 gold
+pieces and five silver pieces.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take that.
+
+MATT: Before, as you pull off of it, you watch as
+the lower half of the body sloughs off the torso
+
+and you back away.
+
+MARISHA: Sorry.
+
+MATT: The smell is awful, as a lot of the interior
+gas of the bloated corpse escapes into this
+
+terrible sulfurous stench.
+
+SAM: Gross.
+
+MARISHA: Oh god.
+
+LIAM: Please, we have been around death plenty of
+times. Caleb throws up quietly into the water.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you go back and forth?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, only one place to go and that’s
+down.
+
+SAM: Wait! I’m just going to take a quick minute
+to stare into the eternal abyss of the dodecahedron.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure.
+
+LAURA: I just open up the bag so you can see it.
+
+SAM: Oh my god what is in there?!
+
+LAURA: We don’t let Cali see it. Sorry, Cali.
+
+MATT: Okay. You take a moment to focus and place
+your hand on this lightly thrumming device. Your
+
+vision is pulled into this universal space of
+stars and gas and distant existences you’ve never
+
+contemplated and there you see before you the
+pulsing light of possibility. You reach out a hand
+
+and grasp it and feel it enter your body and
+you’ve acquired your fragment of possibility.
+
+MARK: It doesn’t take much to distract Cali. You
+just point over there and she’s like–
+
+SAM: I’ll take a swig and go down the hole.
+
+MATT: The hole has chunks of rock and dirt as well
+as a very interwoven network of roots coming down
+
+from the tree, so it’s fairly easy to climb down.
+There is a little bit of that damp water and
+
+moisture that seeped into the chamber previously
+from just being near the swamp. It wasn’t a thick
+
+layer of water, maybe half an inch or so in the
+actual portions of the chamber and some of it is
+
+now heading down. As you’re climbing down
+carefully through this hole, you can feel it
+
+running down your back and it’s this cold swamp
+water. I need you to make an athletics check as
+
+you make your way down this chamber.
+
+SAM: Not great. Just a check?
+
+MATT: Yep. Just add your athletics.
+
+SAM: Seven.
+
+MATT: Seven. Okay. You begin to– (grunts) and you
+lose your grip and begin slide down like a slide.
+
+SAM: (whispers) Yes. (screams)
+
+MATT: (impact) You get about maybe 15 or so feet
+before the back of the slide leaves you. You have
+
+darkvision, so you see the interior of some sort
+of chamber in the ground rocketing towards you–
+
+SAM: I will throw out a feather and cast Feather
+Fall.
+
+MATT: Okay. And you gingerly land on your feet. No
+damage taken. And no noise made either.
+
+SAM: (breathing heavily)
+
+MATT: Looking around you, you see the inside of a
+natural rock chamber. You can hear in the distance
+
+a rummaging sound, some shifting over from around
+the corner. It seems like from where you’re
+
+landing the back is around you and then it curves
+to the left. You see a faint puddle before you
+
+lose vision and beyond that, you don’t see
+anything but you hear (shifting).
+
+SAM: Coming towards me or just moving?
+
+MATT: Just echoing around the side.
+
+SAM: Cool.
+
+MATT: You hear a (monster hissing).
+
+SAM: Oh god.
+
+MATT: Something clatter to the ground. What are
+the rest of you guys doing?
+
+TALIESIN: Do we hear the slip and the whoosh?
+
+MATT: I don’t think you heard anything, no.
+
+LAURA: We should send a message to Nott and see
+what she sees.
+
+MARK: What, Bren?
+
+MARISHA: Nott Bren, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I can do that.
+
+MARK: Bren, are you down there? Hello?
+
+SAM: Are you sending a message?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I am. I have just joined the group.
+How are you doing down there, what do you see?
+
+SAM: I will reply to that message.
+
+LIAM: With you and me, it goes back and forth.
+
+SAM: There’s a creature down here. I don’t want to
+make any noise. If you’re going to come down to
+
+join me, use a rope.
+
+LIAM: All right, we can do that. Just stay put,
+don’t go rushing in without us.
+
+Is it one or more than one?
+
+SAM: I don’t know. I’ll go rushing in and find
+out.
+
+LIAM: That’s the opposite of what I said!
+
+SAM: I’m going to gingerly creep around the
+corner.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check for me, please.
+
+LIAM: It’s hard to resist sneaking in.
+
+LAURA: Let’s climb down.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: You slowly make your way around the side.
+This chamber appears to be kidney shaped. It
+
+curves around the bend, and as you make your way
+around the chamber, at the outskirts of your
+
+darkvision, you begin to make out three shapes.
+Humanoid torsos with long fins that extend from
+
+where the elbows are, patchwork leather and bronze
+armor pieces, as well as hints of shell jewelry
+
+and bone. You can see one face as you peek around
+the edge, and you can see this large, toothy
+
+underbite, with this square jaw where these four
+tendrils kind of dangle from the tip of its chin.
+
+A single fin curves over the top of its head. No
+nose, but two gleaming eyes that refract. What
+
+little bit of light coming into the chamber from
+something out of the visual range is giving off a
+
+faint glow. The lower half of its body is a long
+fish tail. It looks like that a nightmare-ish
+
+merman would look like. It sits there clutching
+some sort of long harpoon-like pike with a hook on
+
+the end of it.
+
+SAM: Are they waiting, are they talking, what are
+they doing?
+
+MATT: They’re talking amongst themselves, and you
+hear some sort of tearing sound, you peek around a
+
+little further, and you can see a creature has
+been dragged down here. A familiar one. A thick,
+
+leathery-scaled body of a crocodile of some kind.
+Not a large one, but a regular sized crocodile has
+
+been dragged down here, and all three of them are
+in the process of feasting on its body. They’re
+
+tearing into its flesh, and talking amongst
+themselves in a language you don’t understand.
+
+Around the base of them, you see broken crates and
+a few odds and ends are
+
+resting on the ground, loosely discarded.
+
+SAM: Any other entrances or exits?
+
+MATT: From what you can see? You’re kind of
+peeking around the corner, you cannot see the
+
+opposite end of where this curvature is without
+possibly revealing yourself.
+
+LIAM: It has been a while, what would you like us
+to do?
+
+SAM: Anywhere else to hide, or something to hide
+behind?
+
+MATT: Around that way? Not terribly. There are a
+few outcropping walls, and at this point I would
+
+say I could probably give you a visual.
+
+LIAM: Already?
+
+TRAVIS: I like what I’m hearing! Shark fins and
+shit?! I’m a happy camper.
+
+SAM: While you’re setting the stage, I’ll message
+back up to them.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, what is that, what are they riding?
+They’re riding like watery penises.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re right there, curving around the
+side.
+
+SAM: Did I come down right where I am?
+
+MATT: You landed right here and then made your way
+around. This is where it drops you into the middle
+
+of the chamber.
+
+SAM: Got it. I’ll radio back up to the top and
+say: There are three mermen down here with
+
+dangerous weapons. I am very outnumbered. Please
+come quickly, you can reply to this message.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, we’ve established that. Stay put,
+don’t move.
+
+SAM: I’ll cast Mage Hand and take a ball bearing
+across the way, but not dropping it, just holding
+
+it in place, just in case.
+
+MATT: Okay. So who’s going down?
+
+LIAM: I drop Frumpkin down the shoot.
+
+SAM: Oh Jesus, he’s going to die!
+
+LIAM: No, he’s not.
+
+LAURA: That’s not a long fall for a cat.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to find out how far.
+
+MARISHA: Not within like 50 feet.
+
+LIAM: Yes, they can.
+
+MATT: Yeah they can, most of them. Make an
+acrobatics check for me.
+
+LAURA: Can we start tying a rope off upstairs and
+drop it down?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: My acrobatics or the cat’s?
+
+MATT: The cat’s acrobatics.
+
+LIAM: Oh great, hold on, I’ve got that pulled up
+right here, hold on.
+
+MARISHA: Are you going to land on your feet for
+the cat?
+
+LIAM: 16.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin lands.
+
+LAURA: We’ve tied our ropes together and we’re
+going to go down.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Double knot.
+
+MATT: Double knot? All right.
+
+MARISHA: I can go down first and make sure it’s
+secure on the other end.
+
+SAM: Sailors’ knot.
+
+MATT: All right. You make your way down the rope.
+Eventually you get to the bottom. It does dangle
+
+and the edge of the rope does, basically, end
+about a foot or two above where the ground is. So
+
+you just manage to catch the bottom. So put how
+many ropes together? Two 50 feet ropes? Oh, so no.
+
+It’s actually coiled at the bottom. Total, it’s
+about a 60-foot way down. You manage to make you
+
+way down without an issue.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I help anyone else down.
+
+MATT: Okay. So with the rope and everything,
+aiding you down here, it’s easy enough for you all
+
+to make your way into this area.
+
+SAM: Oh boy, they have all of us all crammed up in
+this little space.
+
+LAURA: What else are we going to do?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to point out, we can’t
+retreat.
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+MATT: Kiri’s coming down with you?
+
+SAM: No, wait. We’re not bringing Kiri down, are
+we? Are you guys bringing Kiri down?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know.
+
+SAM: Oh my god.
+
+LAURA: We can’t leave Kiri up there. Who knows
+what’s up there?
+
+MATT: Are you guys having this conversation?
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+LAURA: We had it upstairs. Kiri!
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: (shushing) Sit in this corner.
+
+MATT: (like Cali) “I killed people.”
+
+LAURA: (shushing) No. Sit in the corner, Kiri,
+right here.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Don’t move unless something chases you.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Don’t move unless something
+chases you.”
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Right.”
+
+ASHLEY: What if she dies?
+
+MATT: Holds the dagger in front of her.
+
+TALIESIN: She’s upstairs.
+
+LAURA: She’s down here with us.
+
+ASHLEY: She’s down here with us, in the corner?
+
+LAURA: Right.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so Kiri is going to go ahead and duck
+into this corner, here.
+
+ASHLEY: She’s better not die.
+
+LIAM: Oh, wait. Kiri is down here with us in the
+corner?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right, what are you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: Let’s kill the fish people.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, we’re going to go. We’re doing
+this.
+
+MARK: Do you want me to start this explosively?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: I mean.
+
+MARK: I mean, I’m asking.
+
+TRAVIS: It is kind of enclosed.
+
+LIAM: Well, I think that’s a great idea, but we
+should also send Bren with you, and if you guys
+
+could go simultaneous, like. Maybe if Bren hit one
+of them, and then you follow right away.
+
+MARK: Ooh! It might manage the goods that Bren
+told us about that are around the corner. Like all
+
+the crates and stuff. I mean, my bowls should be
+okay, but are you here for something?
+
+LIAM: Sometimes I’m able to focus just shy of what
+I’m trying to target.
+
+MARK: Oh, it’s a pretty tight space around there,
+I’m not sure! I could try.
+
+MARISHA: If your bowls are magical, though, they
+should survive, right?
+
+MARK: Yeah, I know. They should be fine, but I
+mean for you guys, what do you want?
+
+LAURA: What if we all jump out at the same time
+and scream and attack at the same time.
+
+TRAVIS: I like that idea.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s ambush.
+
+LAURA: Like three, two, one.
+
+MARISHA: (quiet yell) Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I still think that these two would be good
+to lead that charge.
+
+MARISHA: Give the explosive things–
+
+LAURA: We shouldn’t do explosive because–
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re watching.
+
+SAM: Uh-oh. Something’s happening.
+
+MATT: You hear the splashing of water and out from
+the side, another one emerges from this side pool.
+
+It (speaking in Aquan). The other one (speaking in
+Aquan). It turns around and splashes back into
+
+this little pool and vanishes below the surface.
+
+SAM: Is there anyway to freeze the water or get
+rid of the water?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, dry up the water!
+
+LIAM: Are they still talking?
+
+MATT: Briefly chatting, but in the process of
+eating, more than anything.
+
+MARK: I think I could freeze about five-foot,
+that’s the amount I can do.
+
+SAM: There’s a pool in the back there. That’s
+where they entered and exited from.
+
+MATT: It’s about ten square feet.
+
+MARK: I can freeze half of it. It’s oddly specific
+how much I can freeze.
+
+LIAM: Does anyone want to try to talk to these
+things, or are we just (cutting)?
+
+MARK: They look like murderous fish men.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re good to fuck them up, I think.
+
+MARK: We could try!
+
+TRAVIS: No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
+
+LIAM: I like how that sounds. (like Cali)
+Murderous fish men.
+
+MARK: Murderous fish men!
+
+LIAM: I love it.
+
+MARK: Have any of you seen Thor: Ragnarok?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah! I was going to say, you sound like
+them, I love it!
+
+TRAVIS: I could blind them.
+
+SAM: Don’t you speak fish?
+
+TRAVIS: What?
+
+SAM: You’re half fish!
+
+MARK: You’re half fish?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not half fish, I’m half-orc!
+
+SAM: He was born underwater!
+
+TRAVIS: That is actually not true at all. Nott,
+not at all.
+
+SAM: What is the other half?
+
+ASHLEY: You’re half-orc, but what’s the other
+half?
+
+TRAVIS: Half-human, I’d assume.
+
+MARISHA and ASHLEY: You assume.
+
+LIAM: We’re glossing over it, but we’ve seen you
+vomit sea water twice.
+
+TRAVIS: Once.
+
+LAURA: Is this really the moment to talk about
+this?
+
+MARK: Jester’s really smart!
+
+ASHLEY: Right now’s the moment.
+
+TRAVIS: Right now?
+
+SAM: Quick, tell us your backstory!
+
+MARISHA: You know how under pressure, you can
+discover hidden talent? Maybe if you do this,
+
+you’ll be like: Oh, I never knew this fishman side
+of me!
+
+MATT: Everyone make a stealth check.
+
+LAURA: Oh, jeez. We’re losing our ambush, y'all.
+
+SAM: Someone create a distraction! We’ll pop out
+and kill it.
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a six.
+
+MATT: What was the number you rolled?
+
+ASHLEY: It was a four.
+
+MATT: Okay, so that’s six.
+
+TALIESIN: 15. I’ve already activated a sword.
+
+LAURA: Ten.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MARK: 14.
+
+LIAM: Drei.
+
+MARISHA: 18.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+SAM: Okay, average, average.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: As they’re all eating, and Nott, you’re
+paying attention, one goes, (inquisitive growl,
+
+garbled speech)
+
+SAM: Three, two, one, go!
+
+(yelling)
+
+SAM: I’m going to Mage Hand throw the ball bearing
+first, just as a signal to go. On the three-two-one.
+
+LAURA: And then we jump out.
+
+MATT: All right. So you throw the ball bearings,
+and then everyone rolls initiative. You lost the
+
+surprise round, unfortunately. You were spending
+too much time talking.
+
+ASHLEY: We’re trying to get backstory!
+
+SAM: Half-carp, half-orc. Orcarp. Carporc?
+Corpor.
+
+MATT: 25 to 20, anybody?
+
+MARISHA: I’m– wait, 25 to 20? No.
+
+LAURA: Nobody? Nobody, huh?
+
+MATT: 20 to 15.
+
+TRAVIS: 18.
+
+MARISHA: 19.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+MATT: Okay, so we have Beau, Fjord– what did you
+get? 18. And then Molly at 16. 15 to ten?
+
+LIAM: Zehn.
+
+SAM: Ten.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+SAM: Wow, Ashley!
+
+LIAM: Yasha, and then Nott and Caleb are equal.
+
+MATT: And then, what was it, Caleb and Nott?
+
+LIAM: Caleb and Nott got ten, ten.
+
+MATT: All right. Ten to five?
+
+LAURA: Six.
+
+MARK: Six. Six twins.
+
+MATT: Jester and Cali.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, does Kiri get a turn?
+
+MATT: No, Kiri’s staying in the back. All right,
+that’s everybody. Top of the round, as all three
+
+of them have spun around, apparently aware that
+something is lurking in this area of it.
+
+SAM: It still doesn’t see us, right?
+
+LIAM: For six seconds.
+
+MATT: No, but it’s not an ambush round. So. Top of
+the round is Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Can I hold my turn until Fjord goes?
+
+MATT: You can’t hold your turn. You can hold an
+action.
+
+TRAVIS: Do what you’re going to do.
+
+MATT: All the bad stealth checks were–
+
+LIAM: Big three.
+
+ASHLEY: Big six.
+
+LAURA: I got ten.
+
+MATT: Ten, right. Okay, got it.
+
+ASHLEY: We die first.
+
+LIAM: Scheisse.
+
+MARISHA: Can I move into place and then hold my
+action until Fjord goes?
+
+MATT: Depending on what your action trigger is,
+yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I want to attack after he attacks, after
+he casts a spell. Can I move in this corner
+
+as far as I can–
+
+MATT: Over here, next to Nott?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to stealth– yeah.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can do that.
+
+MARISHA: Stealthing as fuck.
+
+MATT: Okay. And you’re holding your action in case
+Fjord attacks something.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to hold my shurikens.
+
+MATT: Okay. So as you’re pulling back with that,
+Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to run around the corner. Give
+me that right over here. Yeah, so I can see all
+
+three of them, at least.
+
+MATT: All right. Well, you’re going to be out in
+the open. Just so you’re aware. All right. So you
+
+move over here. You can now see all three right
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: 'Sup, fish-fucks!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’s as far as you can move there.
+They all turn, (growls). You see some of them
+
+holding what looks to be these large
+harpoon-trident things that are hooked on the end
+
+and they have some sort of thick cabling of some
+kind attached to the end of it.
+
+TRAVIS: Aren’t y'all pretty? I look. In the space
+in between them, I see this ripple start to form,
+
+and I reach out with my hand, and I’ll grasp at
+the space and tear a rip in reality, and I’ll cast
+
+Hunger of Hadar, ripping this 20-foot dome on the
+ground.
+
+MATT: 20-foot radius? Where do you want to place
+it?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll put it right here, so it’s–
+Actually? No, I’ll stick it right here. Yeah,
+
+because it halves it, makes it difficult terrain,
+so let’s put it right there. Ish.
+
+MATT: You got it. So you watch suddenly as the
+back end of that chamber– well, for those who can
+
+see, which Caleb currently– it’s mostly dark
+except for that faint, faint glow around the
+
+corner that you don’t see the source. There’s no
+light in here. That light goes out. You are blind
+
+at the moment, because what little bit of light
+there is has been consumed by this sphere of
+
+darkness that Fjord has summoned on the opposite
+side of the chamber. You watch as reality tears
+
+open in that space, and you see these strange,
+black-purple otherworldly tentacles whip out from
+
+the outside of it, and you hear this horrible
+slithering sound within the center of that
+
+chamber, with this faint underlying of whispers
+and chanting.
+
+LAURA: Oh, shit.
+
+MATT: Does that do immediate damage, or only on
+their turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Only if they start in it, or if they end
+their turn in it. Two different types of damage.
+
+MATT: Cool, all right. So that ends your turn,
+there. Molly, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: No, it’s me. I get to go first. Can I pop
+around the corner?
+
+MATT: Let me see here, real fast, about the Hunger
+of Hadar spell.
+
+MARISHA: I have my goggles on, by the by.
+
+MATT: All right. So you cannot see anything. You
+have your goggles on–
+
+MARISHA: –but I still can’t see?
+
+TRAVIS: Well, actually, it says the void is filled
+with a cacophony of soft whispers. No light,
+
+magical, or otherwise, can illuminate the area of
+the 20-foot sphere–
+
+MATT: Correct. But you have Darkvision.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s just within the sphere they’re
+blind.
+
+MATT: Correct. So I’ll say you can see where they
+are, but it’s a little obscured, so.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to pop out. Can I pop
+out? Am I able to do that?
+
+MATT: You are. Well no, I’m sorry, you cannot
+move. You did your move, so you have to have an
+
+action, so you can only attack that one that you
+can see there.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I will throw two.
+
+MATT: Okay. They’re at disadvantage, because it’s
+beyond your 20-foot initial range.
+
+MARISHA: First one? Man. I’ll take that 12,
+though, for an 18 to hit?
+
+MATT: That does hit, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: And that’s– sorry. Seven damage on that
+one. And then second one… ooh, those are double
+
+fours, which I don’t believe hit.
+
+MATT: Nope. Disappears into the darkness.
+
+MARISHA: And then I’m going to take a ki point and
+cast– I almost called it Uncanny Dodge.
+
+MATT: You had to do that on your turn. You’ve only
+got an action you were holding. Sorry.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: How high’s the ceiling here?
+
+MATT: It’s about ten, 11 feet. It’s not very
+high.
+
+MARISHA: I would have had to have said it earlier,
+which I didn’t know.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends Fjord and Beau’s turn.
+Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: Where am I? Let’s see. I’m over there?
+I’m going to run as far as I can go towards Fjord,
+
+and then I’m going to spend the rest of my action
+running across and get into that little alcove.
+
+MATT: This one over here?
+
+TALIESIN: No, the other side of it, I’m so sorry.
+
+LAURA: No, like behind that little–
+
+MATT: Oh, I see. There we go.
+
+TALIESIN: So positioning and ready for things to
+come.
+
+MATT: You still have a bonus, if you want to.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got nothing for my bonus.
+
+MATT: All right. Did you activate one of your
+scimitars?
+
+TALIESIN: One is activated, the other is not.
+
+MATT: Got it, cool. That ends your turn? It is now
+their turn. So, top of the round, they’re both in
+
+the space, so they take how much damage?
+
+TRAVIS: They take 2d6–
+
+MATT: 2d6 cold damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Each of them. Do I roll that?
+
+MATT: You do. So roll all at once.
+
+TRAVIS: Five, four. Nine points of damage each.
+Cold. (impacts) Tentacle beating!
+
+MATT: (laughs) You hear this strange slamming and
+slithering sound and hissing noises on the inside.
+
+All righty, so this one’s going to go ahead and
+move just to the edge there.
+
+LAURA: He’s dead, he’s dead! Too late.
+
+LIAM: That’s how it works.
+
+MATT: This guy gets to about there, actually,
+before he can move into the water. Right now,
+
+because they don’t have a huge movement on land.
+
+TRAVIS: And they’re in difficult terrain, so it’s
+halved.
+
+MATT: Exactly. So those guys are clustered there.
+That guy does manage to move–
+
+LAURA: Sweet, then they end their turn!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you just send whatever you’ve got in
+the sphere. Trying to keep them in one spot.
+
+MATT: He’s going to continue slithering the rest
+of the way. (counting)
+
+I’ll say it gets him to about there.
+
+TRAVIS: At the end of their turns, they must
+succeed on a dexterity saving throw–
+
+MATT: Well, it’s not the end of their turn yet.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, sorry. My fault.
+
+MATT: The two, while still blinded, saw you
+emerge. The one over on this end is going to go
+
+ahead and attempt to throw one of its harpoons in
+your direction. It’s blinded, so it has
+
+disadvantage on the attack.
+
+MARISHA: Do it!
+
+MATT: With disadvantage, that’s a 16. What’s your
+armor class?
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: Aw, slick! It shoots through and you deflect
+it with the shield and watch it spark off. The one
+
+behind it is going to throw as well. Natural one,
+yeah. It chucks the harpoon. Both of them land on
+
+the ground, and you hear them scrape as they’re
+pulled back to where they are. The one that is
+
+right there in front of you is going to throw
+another harpoon. It’s going to throw a harpoon at
+
+you. Still at disadvantage. That is a 20 to hit?
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: You suffer, as it jams and pierces into your
+abdomen, right past the armor, sticking a couple
+
+inches into your chest. You take 11 points of
+piercing damage and I need you to make a strength check.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t get dragged!
+
+TRAVIS: I have to make a constitution saving throw
+to keep the spell. Okay, strength save. Nine.
+
+MATT: Natural 20. You get dragged right up into
+its space right there. Make a constitution saving
+
+throw to see if you can maintain concentration on
+your spell.
+
+TRAVIS: What do I have to make? I forget.
+
+MATT: Make a constitution saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: You have to roll under the spell damage.
+
+TRAVIS: 23.
+
+MATT: So you succeed that one. Now it’s pulled you
+in. It’s going to go ahead and make a bite attack
+
+against you, as it pulls you in. Its jaw opens up
+to strike you. That is an 18 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: Because you have 17 armor. You take seven
+points of piercing damage as it digs its jaws
+
+right into the front of your chest and shoulder
+area, biting down. Make another
+
+constitution saving throw.
+
+LAURA: Oh god!
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 20.
+
+MATT: You maintain concentration of the spell.
+Now, all three of them have to make a dexterity
+
+saving throw or receive the damage again. That is
+a fail, a fail, and a fail! Two, ten, and a three!
+
+TRAVIS: That is a six and a one, so seven points
+of acid damage.
+
+MATT: Nice! That ends their turn. That brings us
+to Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: All right! How close can I get to this
+guy?
+
+MATT: 40. You can’t quite get up into his space.
+You’re ten feet away.
+
+ASHLEY: Shit.
+
+MATT: You can use an action to dash if you want to
+make the rest of the movement, but you won’t have
+
+an action on your turn.
+
+ASHLEY: I won’t have an action.
+
+TALIESIN: Have anything good on a bonus?
+
+ASHLEY: I can do the rage, but then it can go
+away.
+
+MATT: If you don’t take damage by the end of your
+next turn, then yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Which is possible.
+
+MATT: Unless you move into the tentacle range.
+
+MARISHA: Tentacle range?
+
+LAURA: That’s what his spell is.
+
+MARISHA: Oh boy. Oh you?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s a sphere of darkness with stars
+with milky tentacles whipping around.
+
+That’s what it says.
+
+ASHLEY: Can I hold my action?
+
+MATT: You can. You’re going to hold for what?
+
+ASHLEY: If he tries to fight or attack Fjord
+again, I could– that’s not going to work. Oh god.
+
+LAURA: Just within range? Until he’s in range?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Until he gets in range.
+
+MATT: Okay. Holding your attack just in case it
+comes in range. That ends your turn, Yasha. Nott
+
+and Caleb, you’re up with Jester and Cali on
+deck.
+
+LIAM: You want me to go? Yeah, sure. I’m going to
+move forward until I can see– no, Frumpkin’s
+
+going to go first. I’m going to pull a Shakäste
+and use Frumpkin to help me see in here.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: I have to ask you, as a DM, can my cat see
+in the dark?
+
+MATT: Does your cat have darkvision?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know, it doesn’t say.
+
+LAURA: No, remember? You looked at this before.
+
+LIAM: I don’t remember, but I know that my cats
+could see in the dark growing up.
+
+LAURA: But in the book it doesn’t have darkvision.
+We did this last–
+
+MATT: No, it does not.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to stumble forward in the dark.
+I’m going to say: Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Huh?
+
+LIAM: I cast Enlarge on Beauregard so that she’s
+ten and a half feet tall.
+
+MARK: Has it been an hour by the way? My Light
+spell still would be going so Caleb might be able
+
+to see the first area.
+
+MATT: The first area, but nothing beyond that
+space.
+
+LIAM: If that’s the case, then I wouldn’t go that
+far forward. I would stay as far away from danger
+
+as I can that as soon as I see Beauregard, cast
+Enlarge.
+
+MATT: You got it. Beau has swollen to an enlarged
+state.
+
+MARISHA: I’m so swole!
+
+LIAM: There’s Amazon women singing right now.
+
+MATT: Beau takes up this entire space now.
+
+LAURA: Damn, Beau’s big.
+
+MATT: At a ten-foot ceiling Beau, you suddenly
+crouch. You’re now hunched forward with the top of
+
+it grinding against the top of your head and
+shoulders.
+
+LIAM: You got to pull a Vega position.
+
+SAM: I’ll fire at the one near good old Fjord. Mr.
+Fjord. Aw fuck. 12.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that get advantage?
+
+SAM: Why would I have advantage?
+
+TALIESIN: Aren’t they in combo– wouldn’t that be
+sneak attack?
+
+MATT: If he hits, it’s sneak attack. He doesn’t
+get advantage, so it misses, unfortunately.
+
+SAM: I’ll shoot again. Slightly better. 14?
+
+MATT: 14 does hit.
+
+SAM: Does this one get sneak attack?
+
+MATT: It does, yes.
+
+SAM: Terrible. Nine. 13 plus I’ll take Fury of the
+Small, so that’s 18.
+
+MATT: 18 points of damage. All righty. That ends
+your turn?
+
+SAM: Then, can I get all the way to Mollymauk on
+my movement?
+
+MATT: Yeah, you can. Right over there.
+
+TALIESIN: Hi!
+
+SAM: Hi! Want some booze?
+
+TALIESIN: After!
+
+MATT: Jester and Cali.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to run over behind
+Frumpkin, in that little alcove. Actually, that’s
+
+a lie. I’m going to go next to Caleb.
+
+MATT: There?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, back a little bit.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+LAURA: Even more. Then I am going to cast Invoke
+Duplicity. I’m going to Invoke Duplicity! She’s
+
+going to run forward and stand next to Fjord!
+
+MATT: There you go. All righty. That’s your turn,
+Jester?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, because that’s my action.
+
+MARK: How far can Cali get into, full movement,
+close to–
+
+MATT: About 30, about there.
+
+MARK: About there. So I’ll move there. You watch
+as the draconic eye– she brushes the hair out of
+
+the way. She focuses on the one fighting Fjord,
+and a sickly green beam will shoot out of the eye,
+
+and I’m going to cast Ray of Sickness.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+MARK: This is an attack roll, a spell attack roll.
+15?
+
+SAM: (singing) Sicker than a ray of light!
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Madonna, Ray of Light? Circa 2002? Jesus!
+
+MATT: Six?
+
+MARK: That’s a failure, so it takes nine poison
+damage and it’s poisoned until the end of my turn.
+
+MATT: Great. It’s poisoned until the end of your
+next turn. As the bolt hits it, the veins all of a
+
+sudden go dark on its torso where it impacts.
+
+MARK: Then as she starts as the combat’s going,
+she’s going to be like: Come on, let’s kill these
+
+things. You start seeing a little bit of– becomes
+a bit more draconic.
+
+MATT: Ending Cali’s turn. Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Oh wait, after Jester?
+
+MATT: Jester went. She Invoked Duplicity.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I’m sorry. So me.
+
+MATT: Enlarged Beau is crouching down.
+
+MARISHA: Can I get to the doucher?
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+MARISHA: (deep voice) Sorry, my voice is even
+deeper now! Sorry.
+
+MATT: This giant foot right next to you, Nott, as
+Beau’s large form almost stomps on you.
+
+MARISHA: 'Sup, Nott Bran? First attack. Okay. 16?
+
+MATT: 16, that hits.
+
+MARISHA: Second attack. Not good. 11?
+
+MATT: That misses.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. First attack. All right, ten
+damage.
+
+MATT: Ten damage with your staff. As you rush up,
+crouching low, you take the staff and jam it down
+
+into it. It looks back at you. It sees you looming
+by. As it pulls up its harpoon to try and defend,
+
+you jam the staff into its chest, shove it to the
+ground, under the water, and hear a crunch as you
+
+collapse its ribcage with the impact.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, is it dead?!
+
+MATT: It’s taken the brunt of your damage.
+
+TRAVIS: What happens to the harpoon and the cord
+sticking out of me?
+
+MATT: The harpoon fell out of the wound. It’s
+loose on the ground. There’s a pretty nice
+
+puncture wound through your armor and your body
+right there.
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate it (pained sounds).
+
+MARISHA: You good? Okay. Good. Could I take the
+staff, and I pick it up with the fish still on it,
+
+and I’m like: It’s fish kebabs!
+
+SAM: That’s not a thing.
+
+MARISHA: It is today. That’s what’s on the menu.
+
+SAM: This is Paul!
+
+LIAM: 20 feet behind, you hear: This is all I
+wanted!
+
+MARISHA: Too many one-liners! Can I do something
+creative and take my staff with my fish on it, and
+
+fling it, and try and throw the fish cadaver at
+the other fish dudes?
+
+SAM: You’re casting? With bait?
+
+MATT: You sure can. So you take it, and you fling
+it into the darkness, and it (flopping).
+
+MARISHA: Oh come on, man. I can’t try to aim to
+attack–
+
+MATT: You’ve already used your action to do your
+attack.
+
+MARISHA: But I have a bonus action!
+
+MATT: Bonus action’s an unarmed strike, so this is
+a flavor, as you throw it into the darkness that
+
+they can’t see. You hear its body–
+
+MARISHA: You said I could use flavor for unarmed
+shit.
+
+MATT: You were, but there was nothing to hit
+that’s unarmed in your face. You do fling it in
+
+there, and you hear this horrible slurping sound
+as whatever–
+
+MARISHA: He told me to be flavorful!
+
+MATT: And you were. And whatever tear in reality
+that was opened by Fjord’s patron devours the
+
+corpse. It’s plucked out of the air and sucked
+through whatever small rip in reality had opened.
+
+LAURA: Still pretty cool, Beau, still pretty
+cool.
+
+MARISHA: So can I take my actual bonus action to
+do Patient Defense?
+
+MATT: Sure. All right, that ends your turn. Fjord,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to hug this wall if I can, back
+up a little bit, and I’m going to hold Eldritch
+
+Blast if I see them emerge from the darkness.
+
+MATT: Okay, that ends your turn.
+
+MARISHA: Did I have any more movement, by the by?
+
+MATT: You did have a little bit more, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Could I have scooched up a bit?
+
+MATT: You could have, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Just a scooch.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m scooching!
+
+MARISHA: Excuse me!
+
+MATT: You can scoot all the way up to here, if you
+want.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve got very long legs right now.
+
+MATT: You’re squat-moving your way through the
+cavern.
+
+MARK: A core stance is very good for your abs.
+
+MATT: Molly, what do you got?
+
+TALIESIN: There ain’t nothing for me to hit, so
+I’m going to slightly peek out around the corner,
+
+so that I can keep an eye on things, and I’m going
+to hold my attack for anything that comes within range.
+
+MATT: You got it. It’s now their turn. Top of the
+turn, they take 2d6 damage, so go ahead and roll that.
+
+TRAVIS: Two, three. Five points of cold damage.
+
+MATT: Got it. You hear (snarling) and (slurping)
+sound on the inside of this darkened sphere. This
+
+guy manages to get into the water and poke his way
+through, but just barely get his vision out. This
+
+guy’s going to come out as well and encounter Beau
+on that element. They’re both still inside.
+
+LAURA: They’re still inside the tentacles?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, the circle should be a little
+further forward, so yeah they’re just–
+
+MATT: They’re still inside. And another one
+arrives here, and can only move there.
+
+ASHLEY: We don’t know that.
+
+TALIESIN: Since he’s going to end his turn there.
+
+MATT: He will, yes. This one here is technically
+right in range of Fjord, and is going to unleash
+
+two strikes on you. Its claws and its melee bite.
+Actually, I could melee with a harpoon, so it’s
+
+going to attempt to harpoon you and bite you.
+Natural 20 on the harpoon, and then for the bite
+
+attack, that’s going to be a 23.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, they both.
+
+MATT: The harpoon is going to be 24 points of
+piercing damage as it jams right into your chest,
+
+pushing you against the wall. Go ahead and make a
+concentration check, if you don’t mind. You have
+
+to beat 12.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: It’s going to attempt to bite you in the
+face– The bite, it actually hit. That’s going to
+
+be a d8. That’s eight points of piercing damage.
+
+LAURA: What are you at, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know, I can’t add this fast, my
+app’s breaking.
+
+MATT: Where did my dice go? There it is. No, the
+Snitch fell away, I need to keep it.
+
+LAURA: It touched the ground, that means it’s
+cursed now.
+
+MARISHA: It tried to run.
+
+MATT: It did.
+
+MARISHA: It did want to come home.
+
+MARK: Some treasures abandon their masters.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All righty, so make a second concentration
+check.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: 13’s fine, you maintain concentration. The
+other one that’s right next to Beau is going to
+
+attempt to also throw its harpoon at you, since it
+saw that you were the source of this. They’re
+
+trying to break the spell.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go ahead and cast some
+bullshit on that.
+
+MATT: You were holding an attack. You’ll have to
+say that—
+
+TALIESIN: This is a reaction. I’m doing a Blood
+Maledict. The next two attacks are disadvantage.
+
+MATT: You’re amplifying it?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it. So roll the damage, that’s
+disadvantage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: One point of damage.
+
+MATT: That’s a 17 to hit. What’s your armor
+class?
+
+TRAVIS: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. It still hits the first strike. The
+harpoon (crashing) into you. That’s going to be 12
+
+points of piercing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: I go unconscious. I use my Relentless
+Endurance to pop back up to one.
+
+MARISHA: Upon seeing Fjord get super daze-y, can I
+use my Sentinel feat to crack this guy who just
+
+tried to attack?
+
+MATT: You can. While this is happening, roll a
+concentration check.
+
+TRAVIS: 19 plus all that.
+
+MATT: And make a strength check for me, please.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m super strong. Where the fuck is it?
+
+MATT: 19 on its side.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: You get dragged 20 feet through the water
+into range with it. Beau, you make your Sentinel
+
+Strike on it?
+
+MARISHA: Oh!
+
+MATT: Natural 20, nice. Go ahead and–
+
+MARISHA: That was awesome. Doubling the dice,
+that’s eight plus four, which is 12, plus another
+
+dice, that’s two.
+
+MATT: The dice of the enlarged is also doubled,
+too.
+
+MARISHA: That’s right. That’s two plus another
+four. Sorry, that’s two doubled which is four, so
+
+that’s 16 damage.
+
+MATT: 16 points of damage. Crack!
+
+MARISHA: As he grabs the chain, big Beau steps on
+the chain and cracks him right in the face.
+
+MATT: As it gets cracked, you watch as one of the
+teeth goes flying from the impact of your giant
+
+elbow hammer into its jaw. Using that momentum, it
+looks back, its eyes clenched down on Fjord,
+
+now almost prostrate before it, holding onto the harpoon, and
+goes for the face. This is with disadvantage,
+
+though. That’ll save you. It was a 17 and a two.
+It goes to bite you, and you manage to pull up
+
+your sword in the way and block it. Its jaws open
+and this terrible fishing breath smell cascades
+
+over your face.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like a dock on a Tuesday morning.
+
+MARISHA: What happens on Monday nights?
+
+MATT: The one on the other end is blind, it hears
+all this noise happening, it’s going to make a
+
+wide shot with its harpoon in the direction of
+where it’s hearing all this conflict.
+
+LAURA: Hit one of its brothers!
+
+MATT: Disadvantage. 16 and 18, that still hits.
+Sorry, Fjord. You take–
+
+TRAVIS: At disadvantage? 16 doesn’t hit.
+
+MATT: No, those are the dice rolls that I was
+making. It was a 16 and a 19. So that’s nine
+
+points of piercing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s throwing in the dark in the direction
+where two guys, and he’s threading them and
+
+hitting me?
+
+MATT: Yeah. You guys have done it before.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. Unconscious I go.
+
+MARISHA: Fuck!
+
+MATT: And with that, Fjord goes down, and the
+spell fades. It closes off. They now have visual.
+
+MARISHA: But that’s all of their turns, right?
+
+MATT: This guy’s going to move.
+
+MARISHA: Except for that motherfucker.
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, didn’t he burn his whole turn just
+getting to where he was?
+
+MATT: No, that was his movement. That’s right, so
+he wouldn’t move. He went top of the round. Thank
+
+you for the reminder of that. But he used his
+action to throw that. So that’s all he has. That
+
+ends their go. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’m going to move to the guy who’s
+been attacking my boy, Fjord.
+
+MATT: This one here? All right. In the water or on
+the side?
+
+ASHLEY: On the side.
+
+MATT: You got it.
+
+ASHLEY: I would like to rage.
+
+MATT: Going the full Yasha, angry.
+
+ASHLEY: Divine Fury, all the bits.
+
+MATT: Nott and Caleb, you’re up next.
+
+ASHLEY: Reckless. Okay, that hits. 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: So the first strike with the Divine, 3d6
+plus seven.
+
+ASHLEY: Ooh. 20.
+
+MATT: 20 points of damage on the first strike as
+you carve across its torso, it hisses back, still
+
+standing, though.
+
+ASHLEY: Another–
+
+MATT: That’s 2d6 plus five.
+
+ASHLEY: All right, ten. 2d6 plus five?
+
+TALIESIN: What did you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, six plus what?
+
+MATT: Five.
+
+ASHLEY: 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage? As the first blade
+strike carves down its body, it pulls back
+
+hissing, Fjord’s unconscious, sinking underwater
+with the harpoon still sticking out of his chest,
+
+as it’s leaning back at an angle as he vanishes
+into the dark liquid. As it pulls back, it yanks
+
+the harpoon from his body, and you see his body
+slightly lurch up out of the water before sinking
+
+again. It pulls it back to strike at you with it,
+and when you pull the blade back, you thrust it
+
+right into its chest, and the light goes out of
+its eyes.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you close enough to the bonus
+action– Can someone grab Fjord or is that not
+
+happening?
+
+ASHLEY: Can I as a bonus action–
+
+LIAM: That’s an action.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t worry if I sink.
+
+LAURA: I’ll be able to fix him in a second.
+
+TRAVIS: I have that armor.
+
+MATT: That’s true, you have the armor on. He
+starts to sink, and the body buoys itself back to
+
+the top.
+
+MARISHA: Is it like a life vest?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a life preserver, guys.
+
+MATT: It’s the Mariner’s armor that he had the
+enchantment put over.
+
+LAURA: That’s great.
+
+TRAVIS: Throw me a Bud Light.
+
+MATT: All righty, that ends Yasha’s turn. Nott and
+Caleb, you guys are up.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is going to walk behind Cali so he’s
+got a good view of merman over Fjord. I’m going to
+
+use the Glove of Blasting. First one is a natural
+one, so that does not hit. The second one is a
+
+natural 20.
+
+MATT: Against which one?
+
+LIAM: Against the one right over Fjord. So that
+is, Scheisse.
+
+SAM: Hey, Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah?
+
+SAM: Are you in melee with that thing?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Ah, okay.
+
+LIAM: 12 total, since it was a crit. Is it still
+up?
+
+MATT: It is still up. As it bursts into it, the
+flames burn across its system, but its body is
+
+damp and slick anyway, so you see the dark black
+scorch marks, but nothing more than that.
+
+LIAM: And the third ray is not good, just a ten.
+
+MATT: Ten misses, unfortunately. Hits the ground
+behind it, or hits the wall, burns across, and
+
+vanishes across the rock. That finishes your go.
+Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: I will lean out, and is someone engaged with
+this one, where I would get sneak attack?
+
+MATT: Beau is.
+
+SAM: I will attack with a crossbow bolt. 24.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+SAM: Okay. Ooh, that’s all terrible.
+
+LAURA: Well, not all terrible.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: All righty. As you fire this one, it manages
+to pierce right under its throat, and it turns
+
+back towards you and it grabs the harpoon off the
+ground. As it pulls it back, the blood’s gouting
+
+out of a major vein or artery in its throat. It
+tries to get the strength, and as it does, it
+
+pulls back and gets woozy, throws it, and it lands
+maybe two feet from where it grabs it, and with a
+
+horrible gurgle falls to the ground. It begins to
+slip and sink into the water.
+
+SAM: Shit. Can I use my bonus action to fire the
+other one? Why not?
+
+MATT: Disadvantage on this one, though.
+
+SAM: 15.
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+SAM: That’s six points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nice! That ends Nott’s turn. Are you going
+to move?
+
+SAM: No, I will stay there and huddle closer to
+Mollymauk. Did you step out?
+
+TALIESIN: I did step out.
+
+SAM: No, I’m huddling away from Mollymauk.
+
+MATT: All right, Cali and Jester.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to send Duplicity me towards
+Fjord, and she’s in her illusion going to hug him
+
+and cast Cure Wounds. I will call from a distance
+going, “Don’t worry, Fjord, you’ll be okay!” I’ll
+
+cast it at level two.
+
+SAM: Aw, because Oskar?
+
+LAURA: So 11 points.
+
+MATT: You are conscious. (gasping) You look up and
+see the faintly illusory image of Jester holding you.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks, Jester.
+
+MARISHA: And then big me over top of her.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh god!
+
+MARISHA: Hi, Fjord! Good to see you alive.
+
+TRAVIS: What’s wrong with Beau?!
+
+LAURA: Then I’m going to use my bonus action to
+cast Spiritual Weapon right over top of the other
+
+fish man in the back there.
+
+ASHLEY: (singing) Lollipop, lollipop.
+
+MATT and ASHLEY: (singing) Oh lolly, lolly, lolly,
+lollipop.
+
+MATT: Pop! (singing) Roll that attack roll.
+
+LAURA: 14 plus something, so I think that hits.
+
+MATT: That hits. Its armor class is 13.
+
+LAURA: So that is 1d8 plus four. Force damage, so
+eight force damage.
+
+MATT: All righty. That ends Jester’s go. Cali.
+
+MARK: Cali is going to run up past Yasha and you
+see she’s like (growls) and shoves Yasha out of
+
+the way. I want to get as close as I possibly can.
+Am I within 15 feet there?
+
+MATT: You are.
+
+MARK: Okay. She stops for a moment and you see
+this green magic flow around. I’m going to cast
+
+Dragon’s Breath at 3rd-level on myself. Then she
+inhales. Acid breath, 15-foot cone over the creature.
+
+MATT: Yeah, 15-foot cone.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know what you just did, but I am
+so into it.
+
+MATT: As the acid sprays out towards it, it covers
+the area.
+
+MARK: Dex saving throw.
+
+MATT: Dex saving throw for the merrow as it tries
+to avoid it. That is a natural three plus zero.
+
+That’s a failure.
+
+MARK: So that’s 4d6 damage. Oh, I was going to
+reroll some of this, but I’m not now. So that’s
+
+going to be 19 acid damage.
+
+MATT: Nice! As you finish spraying it down and all
+the flesh on the outside of its body is beginning
+
+to melt away and burn and bubble, it (growls).
+It’s pretty scarred from that immediate spray
+
+across the front part of its torso.
+
+MARK: (deep voice) Come on! Come and get me!
+
+MATT: You see the eye gleaming still with the
+Light spell. All right, that finishes your turn.
+
+Beau, top of the round, you.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to stride forward (large
+footsteps).
+
+LIAM: Careful of your head.
+
+TRAVIS: (thuds) Ugh!
+
+MARISHA: Ah, fuck! This is what Travis deals with
+all the time. Ow! Through Cali’s acid mist, I’m
+
+going to split the air and cut down and do a big
+slap right on its face.
+
+MATT: Okay. All right. As you go for the big
+sweep, your staff goes (scraping) (thud).
+
+MARISHA: I get a little bit of–
+
+MATT: Bits of rock and shale is being ground and
+falling all around you.
+
+MARISHA: It probably gets stuck a little bit, but
+then it gives me a nice little snap.
+
+MATT: Exactly, a little snap at the end. Roll for
+the attack.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’ll take that. That’s enough. 19.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+MARISHA: 20. 19. I don’t know. It’s enough.
+
+LIAM: 19. Add that d4, motherfucker!
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s nine plus–
+
+LIAM: Cocked.
+
+MARISHA: Ooh, 13.
+
+MATT: 13 points of damage. That’s the first
+strike.
+
+MARISHA: The second one, knowing I’m going to get
+stuck on the ceiling, I’m going to paddle back and
+
+come up and crack with the other end.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you spin it this way, it wedges
+itself from the floor to the ceiling and you have
+
+to like– boom!
+
+MARISHA: Damn it!
+
+TRAVIS: Mike Myers.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 15?
+
+MATT: 15 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Plus seven plus– ten total.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage. Whack! You crack into
+it and it hits into its torso. It looks like it’s
+
+bleeding out of its mouth onto its stomach. It
+looks really painfully hurt and its eyes are
+
+dashing around each way. It looks like it’s
+starting to turn its head towards the area where
+
+it emerged.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to do flurry of blows.
+
+MATT: Okay, using a ki point.
+
+MARISHA: Flurry of Beaus.
+
+ASHLEY: Flurry of blows.
+
+TRAVIS: Flurry of Beaus.
+
+MARISHA: That’s not great. 12.
+
+MATT: 12 misses.
+
+MARISHA: Second one is even fucking worse. It’s a
+two.
+
+MATT: This time, as you try to punch, it manages
+to dodge the first one, and the second time you go
+
+to swing, one of the pieces of stone that had
+dislodged slightly from when you had impacted it
+
+falls and catches your fist in the middle of the
+air. It shatters and causes this cloud of dust to
+
+cross the creature but your hand fucking hurts!
+
+LIAM: Haha, good show!
+
+LAURA: Do you get one more hit?
+
+MATT: That’s it. End of Beau’s turn. Fjord, you’re
+up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll use half my speed to stand upright.
+
+MATT: Back to there, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: And I’ll unleash two Eldritch Blasts at
+that–
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 26.
+
+MATT: That hits.
+
+TRAVIS: And that’s cocked. Reach for the sky! And
+an 18.
+
+MATT: Yeah, roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Six points of damage on the first one, and
+14 points of damage on the second one.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this? It’s turning
+around and slithering away. It’s about to dive
+
+back into the water and probably disappear into a
+subterranean tunnel that’s filled.
+
+TRAVIS: I stand up. I get to my feet. I touch the
+wound area and I fire it across the way.
+
+MATT: As you release your hand, both bolts arc
+outward and slam into it from the back. From the
+
+front perspective, it would look like Guyver, how
+he tears the chest and the beams come out, but
+
+instead it’s its internal organs being shoved out
+into the wall and there’s two open holes,
+
+Tombstone-style, before it hits the water and
+slithers and sinks down into the small tunnel.
+
+LIAM: (twangy singing) I got friends in eldritch
+places.
+
+LAURA: Wait, did you say it fell into the hole?
+
+MATT: The impact hit it and began (sucking).
+
+LAURA: Don’t let it go into the hole!
+
+MARK: We’re out of initiative? Or are we–
+
+MATT: We’re out of initiative at this point.
+
+MARK: Okay. I run up and with the clawed hand, she
+dives into try and grab this thing out of the pool.
+
+MATT: Sure. Make a dexterity saving throw to see
+if you can react quick enough.
+
+MARISHA: Can I assist for advantage?
+
+MATT: Sure. It’s less of a skill check. It’s more
+of a reactionary thing, so you wouldn’t be able to
+
+help with it.
+
+MARK: Five.
+
+MATT: Five? Okay, you’re trying to reach it, but
+it sunk too low.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to take my staff and try the
+same thing.
+
+MATT: You’re hitting stone and then nothing, just
+water below.
+
+MARK: So when Beau’s doing that, she turns around
+and snaps at Beau. (rough voice) Get away from my
+
+stuff! That’s my kill! (normal voice) Sorry. I
+didn’t mean to yell. Sorry about that.
+
+TALIESIN: Hey, we’re all friends here.
+
+MARK: Yeah, I know. We are.
+
+TALIESIN: I cast Friends.
+
+MARK: Yeah, of course we are. Sorry. Sometimes, I
+just get really aggressive sometimes. I’m sorry.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. That was intense. There’s a lot
+in that. Are you going to be all right?
+
+MARK: Yeah, I just get really possessive about
+certain things sometimes. Dragon blood and all.
+
+Thank you for looking out for me.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re right. You’re going to feel a
+little weird in a few minutes. I apologize for
+
+that. It’s a thing. Let’s clear this water and
+let’s take a breather. Let’s sit down.
+
+LAURA: Let’s get this guy out of the tunnel in
+case somebody comes through the tunnel. I don’t
+
+want anyone to see him right away.
+
+MATT: Do you clear the water?
+
+MARK: Yeah.
+
+MATT: You do and you see that the tunnel curves
+below and evens out. It sunk, hit the bottom
+
+sediment, and dragged a little bit and came to
+rest about maybe 15 feet below the surface. You
+
+take a moment to dive under, grab it, and whether
+through a chain of hands or whatever, because it’s
+
+pretty heavy. It’s a large body, probably weighs
+close to 800 pounds. So you guys have to all
+
+together pull it up, and it takes a few moments to
+do so. But Jester’s pretty beefy.
+
+LAURA: Me and Yasha basically got it out.
+
+MATT: Between the two of you, you eventually get
+it up back into the chamber.
+
+LIAM: Roughly a minute later, I say: So you have
+been somewhat charmed by a circus carnie. It’s
+
+going to be okay.
+
+MATT: At which point the Friends spell ends, and
+you can feel an influence that was previously
+
+there over your personality.
+
+LIAM: You seemed a little angry. He didn’t mean
+anything by it.
+
+MARK: It’s fine. It’s fine. (deep breath)
+
+LIAM: Just trying to keep everything copacetic and
+in order.
+
+MARK: I know. Thank you, Mr. Caleb. Thank you. No,
+it’s fine. I do understand why. It’s fine. Thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: Thought you needed a minute of clarity.
+
+MARK: It’s fine. People normally react really
+worse when I go like that, so it’s fine. You guys
+
+didn’t beat me up. You didn’t try and kill me.
+It’s great. You guys are nice. Thank you.
+
+LIAM: I mean, you have a lot of scales on your
+face, but look at this one. Look at this one. Look
+
+at this one.
+
+TALIESIN: This one less so.
+
+TRAVIS: We can deal with tempers.
+
+LIAM: That one as well.
+
+MARK: You all look fantastic. She’s so cute as
+well. You’re really lucky.
+
+LAURA and SAM: Kiri?
+
+MARISHA: Is she all right?
+
+TALIESIN: I am keeping an eye on these pools,
+looking for any movement, by the way.
+
+MATT: Kiri comes around the corner with the
+dagger, sees you all standing there (chirping).
+
+LAURA: You did it. You killed them.
+
+MATT: Runs up to the body there and goes (dagger
+slice). (like Cali) “I killed people!”
+
+MARK: It’s like Chappie. Chappie be good.
+
+MATT: Stabs the body a few more times.
+
+SAM: That’s enough.
+
+TRAVIS: Somebody help me check these crates.
+
+MARK: Yeah, I’m going to start looking through as
+well.
+
+MATT: Okay, who’s helming the investigation? Okay,
+an individual has to helm it.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to investigate.
+
+MATT: All right. Caleb, you’re being aided, so make it
+with advantage.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’ve got a high stat in it.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Cali.
+
+LIAM: Cocked.
+
+MARK: Yes, Ms. Beau?
+
+MATT: That wasn’t cocked, technically.
+
+LIAM: Well it was on a magnet, so it was stuck to
+a magnet.
+
+MATT: Oh, did it? Okay. Metal dice.
+
+LIAM: At advantage? We’ll call the first one,
+which was a three on a magnet, and the second roll
+
+was a 17 plus my eight is a 25.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: It’s a light die. It’s not like a heavy one
+that wouldn’t be affected by the magnet.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it does magnet. It does actually
+magnet.
+
+LIAM: I can do this for the future.
+
+TALIESIN: Have you not played with your Gil die
+yet?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, it totally sticks to it.
+
+LIAM: So 25.
+
+MATT: As you guys are rummaging through with Caleb
+helming this section, you’re going through a bunch
+
+of empty crates, partially destroyed crates.
+Pushing aside the mostly torn apart corpse of this
+
+crocodile and ignoring that. You manage to find a
+number of gold and silver pieces that have been
+
+scattered and lost and fallen into the sand.
+Digging through the natural gravel and sand floor
+
+of this chamber, you find that a lot of it has
+just been buried. They weren’t interested in gold
+
+pieces. They weren’t interested in money. A lot of
+that was left behind and scattered and has
+
+been covered. You take a moment to pull through
+and you manage to acquire 185 gold, 210 silver
+
+pieces, and 65 copper pieces.
+
+LAURA: 210 silver, you said?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LIAM: Distribute that equally, however you would
+do that.
+
+LAURA: Okay. We’ll do some math.
+
+MATT: You find a bunch of jewelry, necklaces, and
+rings that are thrown about and lost.
+
+LAURA: Do you see any diamonds? Do you see 300
+gold worth of diamonds?
+
+LIAM: I put a bunch of jewelry into Jester’s
+hands.
+
+MATT: Okay. All the jewelry together would come to
+about, just for purposes of resale, 250 gold worth
+
+of jewelry. There are no diamonds in there worth
+300 gold, sorry. There are four sets of manacles.
+
+ALL: Manacles?
+
+MARISHA: People are going to suspect things of us.
+Trading in manacles all the time. These didn’t work!
+
+TALIESIN: The official currency of it. Nice
+manacles.
+
+MATT: The manacles are empty, though they are
+bloody.
+
+LAURA: You said four sets of manacles?
+
+MATT: Yes, four sets of bloody manacles.
+
+TRAVIS: Do they have any rune-ish markings on them
+or anything like that?
+
+MATT: No, these do not. These are plain manacles.
+
+TALIESIN: Are they humanoid sized?
+
+MATT: Roughly, yeah. There are a number of broken
+vials of some thick purple liquid, but two of them
+
+are not broken. You rolled really high on your
+investigation. So two vials of a thick purple
+
+liquid, roughly about that big. It’s a thick, oily
+substance.
+
+LIAM: I’d like to take these for a moment. Or
+maybe ten moments.
+
+MATT: Nott, you see one thing, helping Caleb out,
+and you pull it out. It looks to be a well-crafted
+
+marble bowl of gold inlay of a curious design. The
+edges of the bowl shift into five multiple dragon
+
+heads, equally separated and in each dragon, the
+eyes are tiny gemstones. One set’s rubies, one
+
+set’s emeralds, one set’s sapphires, one set’s
+diamond.
+
+SAM: I will try to conceal this from Cali.
+
+MATT: All righty, make a sleight of hand check.
+Cali, make a perception check.
+
+SAM: I will use my luck point.
+
+(gasping)
+
+MARISHA: You have luck? Oh, it was the–
+
+SAM: 28.
+
+MARK: Eight.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: We treat guests so well!
+
+MARK: That’s what Nott would do. Absolutely what
+Nott would do.
+
+MARISHA: You’re so mean.
+
+MARK: She’s just looking through the crates.
+
+MATT: Looking through frantically, you don’t see
+anything there.
+
+MARK: I’m sure it was here.
+
+LAURA: Really, people don’t like it when you do
+these things, Sam.
+
+SAM: I just have to confer with Caleb.
+
+MARISHA: So, Cali. I started a conversation
+earlier.
+
+MARK: Hey, Ms. Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Which might be why you got so distracted.
+You seem to have such an affinity for cute things.
+
+Is there a reason why you like cute things? I’m
+not saying that not all of us like cute things. We
+
+all love cute things, but you seem to really like
+cute things.
+
+MARK: I guess it’s just one of those things
+where– and she’s doing this as she’s going
+
+through the crates– I was a kid and I used to ask
+for dolls and pets and stuff when I was growing up
+
+and the cult used to give them to me. Serissa used
+to give them to me. I don’t know. There’s a lot of
+
+bad stuff in the world and it’s nice to appreciate
+nice things sometimes. I like having and finding
+
+cute stuff. Do you not like that?
+
+MARISHA: I just might appreciate some other
+things.
+
+MARK: Your outfit’s cute though.
+
+MARISHA: Man, thank you.
+
+MARK: That’s all right. You’re welcome. I was sure
+it was here. I traced it. I followed them. I knew
+
+that it was coming through this– Maybe I missed
+it. Maybe I’ve messed up.
+
+TALIESIN: How deep is that pool?
+
+MATT: It gets about five or six feet deep.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to search the bottom of it.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check with
+disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Are there any weapons that the merrow
+dropped? The hook or the spears? Or were they
+
+tridents or anything?
+
+MATT: There’s one of them that was a three-pronged
+trident and two that were just long harpoons.
+
+They’re all hooked at the tips and they had this
+thick rope cable on the edge that they were using
+
+to pull them back in.
+
+TRAVIS: I pick up one of the tridents. Does it
+seem like an average–
+
+MATT: Just a trident.
+
+LIAM: I would propose– I just rolled a 17 on
+perception to see if Caleb noticed Nott even do that.
+
+SAM: I’m going to come tell you anyways.
+
+LIAM: Well, but you rolled a 28, so it would be
+super hard for anyone at the table to have seen it.
+
+MATT: Yeah, no one noticed. Nobody noticed.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m still keeping watch. I’m watching the
+hole.
+
+LAURA: I wanted to look in the pools too.
+
+TALIESIN: Can she give me advantage on that?
+
+MATT: Sure. Usually you got to tell me before you
+roll.
+
+TALIESIN: I know. We didn’t want to interrupt the
+thing.
+
+MATT: That’s fine.
+
+TALIESIN: It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s eight.
+
+MATT: It’s brackish and thick and you don’t find
+much of interest.
+
+TALIESIN: Check that other one too in a moment.
+
+MATT: You do find some bones.
+
+MARK: I can clear the water as well.
+
+MATT: Looking through, you find a number of
+discarded humanoid skeletons. Four of them, to be
+
+exact.
+
+TALIESIN: The other one, then.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe it’s in the next room. There’s still
+another room.
+
+SAM: There is?
+
+LAURA: They were coming from somewhere. Who knows,
+there could be 20 of them on the other side of this.
+
+MARISHA: It’s true. Could be a whole network of
+caverns.
+
+SAM: Should we fill in the hole?
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re going to have to.
+
+MARISHA: Until we find–
+
+SAM: Ooh! We have thunder sticks!
+
+MARISHA: We do have boom boom sticks.
+
+LIAM: Is this the end of our task here?
+
+MATT: Fjord.
+
+LAURA: We’re supposed to secure the safehouse.
+
+MATT: As they’re having this conversation, you
+feel this strange crawling sensation in the back
+
+of your head as you’re looking past this pool down
+into the darkness below. Even though it’s clear,
+
+you can see the ripples, and there’s something
+gently tugging you in that direction, and a
+
+familiar voice creeps in, sourceless, within your
+brain, that says, “Learn.”
+
+LAURA: So anyway.
+
+SAM: We just killed Fjord’s family.
+
+LAURA: I feel like we should check and see if
+there’s 20 of them on the other side of this thing.
+
+MARISHA: Or like you said, we just destroy the
+entrance to where they can’t come through.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t we have a cat that can become a
+fish?
+
+MARISHA: It takes time, and equipment.
+
+TRAVIS: Plus, some of us can swim. We could pop
+down real quick and see what’s down there.
+
+LIAM: I’m taking those two purple vials and
+walking around the corner over this way to set
+
+them down and start doing my thing, and I’m going
+to start pulling out my book.
+
+SAM: I will join him.
+
+TRAVIS: Anyone else feel like going for a swim?
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: I could probably join you for a swim.
+
+MARK: I need to check and make sure it’s not here,
+and if there is a room back there I need to make
+
+sure it’s not here.
+
+TALIESIN: We don’t know if there’s going to be air
+on the other side of that, though, so we need
+
+people that can–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, one person that can breathe really
+well. Fjord, you are familiar with the sea. Can
+
+you hold your breath for a long time?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, pretty decent.
+
+LAURA: All right. How about you go–
+
+SAM: Like, forever?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+TALIESIN: As long as you don’t mind dying, sure.
+
+SAM: Do you have gills?
+
+ASHLEY: What if we tie a rope to you?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure, we have an extra 50 feet, we didn’t
+really need the rest.
+
+LAURA: Should we take a short rest again? Oh, it’s
+another hour.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to do this.
+
+LAURA: Oh, you can only do it once a day.
+
+MATT: What, the–
+
+ALL: Short rest.
+
+MATT: No, short rest you can do as many times as
+you want, yeah.
+
+MARK: It’s the long rest you can only do once
+every day.
+
+LAURA: You’re low on health still, aren’t you?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but I mean, we’re fine. Let’s do
+it.
+
+MARISHA: If you want to just swim and back. You’re
+going to swim and come back?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m going to go down, and if I start
+running short on air, I’ll come back up.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll have a rope tied.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Cure Wounds on you, if
+we’re not going to take short rest, if we’re not
+
+going to take a short rest–
+
+TRAVIS: No, you don’t need to do that. There’s no
+need, Jester. We’ll take a short rest afterwards.
+
+Just a quick little recon.
+
+ASHLEY: Here. Tie it around.
+
+TRAVIS: I drop the rope and jump in.
+
+SAM: As they’re doing this, I’m going to come up
+to Caleb and tap him on the shoulder and say:
+
+Caleb, look what I found! I think this is the bowl
+that Cali was talking about.
+
+LIAM: I instantly cast Identify– it takes one
+minute– on the two vials and the bowl.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: I’m over here.
+
+LAURA: On the other side.
+
+MATT: You went all the way around the other side?
+
+MARK: I have a minus one, it’s a 13. She’s pretty
+oblivious.
+
+MATT: No, there’s no way.
+
+TALIESIN: We are the worst people.
+
+MARK: As if I didn’t know that coming in.
+
+LIAM: We might be the third from the worst
+people.
+
+MARISHA: “As if I didn’t know that coming here.”
+That’s the worst thing anyone has said about us.
+
+MARK: I know how The Mighty Nein works.
+
+MATT: The bowl is magical. It is used as a
+communion device. When granted with enough blood
+
+and given the proper ritual, it’s used to acquire
+auguries, various bits of divination, and
+
+communication across the Divine Gate with whatever
+this Scaled Tyrant may be.
+
+LIAM: But it needs a lot of blood?
+
+MATT: It needs enough to fill the bowl.
+
+LAIM: I can tell from my Identify spell that its
+purpose is to speak with this thing on the other
+
+side, this deity?
+
+MATT: Some sort of communion, that’s all you can
+make out from it.
+
+LIAM: What about the vials?
+
+MATT: The vials are not magically enchanted.
+
+LIAM: That sucks. Nothing to be told, okay. I
+don’t want this.
+
+MATT: Hold on, Identify should–
+
+SAM: You don’t want the bowl?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+SAM: Okay. Do you think it’s bad to give it to
+her?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m not there, but–
+
+SAM: Do you think it’s bad to give it to her?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. It is not of any use to us, I
+don’t think.
+
+SAM: Okay. Then let’s give it to her.
+
+LIAM: I stick it into my satchel for the time
+being.
+
+MATT: Okay. What are you guys doing? You’re
+underwater. Fjord, you’re swimming down, going
+
+through the darkness, keeping your way there. It
+goes under for about 30 feet, 40 feet. You’re
+
+pulling your way across the ceiling as it levels
+out, curves a bit, straightens. Lungs start to
+
+hurt a little bit, but you’re still holding your
+breath okay, pulling your way through this
+
+darkness.
+
+LAURA: This makes me feel so uncomfortable.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not okay with this.
+
+TRAVIS: This is college all over again.
+
+MATT: You pull under, and you’re uncertain as to
+where it’ll end, and that brief little peaking
+
+fear in the back of your mind, flashes and
+memories of being under the ocean, of the
+
+shipwreck, of looking up and not knowing which
+direction was up. That gives you this brief surge
+
+of vertigo. You stop for a second, and a couple
+bubbles escape. Go ahead and make a constitution
+
+saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: 21.
+
+MATT: 21. You push through, continue, swim across,
+swim. “Learn.” You come up, and all of a sudden
+
+you can see now, it begins to rise up once more,
+and you begin to swim up, pull across the front,
+
+and then suddenly your fingers break water, but
+you do so carefully. Take a breath slowly as your
+
+head emerges from the dark water in what is a
+large, darkened chamber. Make a perception check
+
+with disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Six.
+
+MATT: You see where this 15, 20-foot pool that
+you’ve emerged from opens up into this chamber
+
+that is filled with low water and a number of
+divots and pools within. The bars of land are
+
+limited and thin. You see from the peripheral of
+your vision, before it ends at that point, roughly
+
+five or six more of these creatures. You see a
+very faint glow in the distance, a number of
+
+objects that are piled and shoved into a central
+place. You see elements, old pieces of stone
+
+structures that have fallen in. This chamber
+inside here had a built or constructed purpose
+
+long ago, and since has crumbled as the earth has
+shifted. That’s as much as you can make out.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take a big breath, blow it all the
+way out. (inhales deeply) Go back under, push back.
+
+MATT: Okay, cool. Making your way through, now you
+know the path is there, the confidence because you
+
+know there is air eventually helps you push
+through. You make it halfway through–
+
+TRAVIS: What’s the depth like as I’m going
+through?
+
+MATT: It’s about 15, 20 feet.
+
+TRAVIS: So I can see the bottom?
+
+MATT: You can see the bottom, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not so bad.
+
+MATT: You do manage to come out the other side,
+emerge, and take your breath. Now that you’ve been
+
+through it once, and managed to go through it a
+little more confidently, you didn’t have to worry
+
+about holding your breath.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, are you okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. There’s another room. There’s five
+more of them, if I remember.
+
+MARK: Those things?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, there’s a whole other cavern.
+There’s ruins and objects and all sorts of stuff.
+
+We’re not done with this by a damn sight.
+
+MARISHA: Our job was to secure the safehouse. We
+can collapse this and say job done.
+
+TRAVIS: There were so many things. There were
+crates and objects.
+
+MARISHA: That changes things.
+
+LAURA: What if the safehouse is that other tunnel?
+What if this whole thing is the safehouse?
+
+TRAVIS: Could be underneath it.
+
+LIAM: What if it’s beyond even what Fjord has just
+seen? We do not know what we are talking about yet.
+
+TRAVIS: We could guard this entrance and rest up
+for a bit, get ourselves together and carry
+
+through. It’s not that far. I think everybody
+could make it. I certainly could help somebody if
+
+they’re not a very good swimmer, but–
+
+MARISHA: Maybe run a line. Have the rope in case.
+
+LIAM: You know, we could rest up here on the back
+corner of this chamber. I could cast my silver
+
+thread across this pool here on the other side. If
+anything comes through, it wakes us up. We’ll be
+
+ready. We get ready for going further and–
+
+TALIESIN: We could even cast the thread and sleep
+upstairs.
+
+TRAVIS: We could. I know there are five, but I
+think we use this funnel point as a fatal funnel,
+
+right? We make them come through one at a time. We
+send some bait, bring them back through, but only
+
+when we’re ready. What do you think?
+
+LAURA: I’m okay with that.
+
+TALIESIN: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Cali?
+
+MARK: I want to help you guys, I really do, but if
+what I’m looking for is not here, I’ve got to try
+
+and find it. I’ve got to stop these people getting
+it. The longer I spend here, if it’s not here, the
+
+better chance they have of finding it, and I can’t
+let that happen.
+
+LIAM: What if you spend one more night with us,
+here?
+
+MARK: I really want to, Mr. Caleb. Like, you all
+seem so nice and you’re the first people I could
+
+even say that I’ve made friends with, but this is
+too important.
+
+LAURA: I just can’t believe we didn’t find that
+bowl for you.
+
+MARK: Maybe I messed up. Like I said, I’m not very
+good in the outside world, and I thought that I
+
+found it here, but– It’s fine.
+
+LIAM: Tell us again. What do you need it for? What
+are your intentions with it? Honestly, look me in
+
+the eye. What do you mean to do with this thing
+when you find it?
+
+MARK: Mr. Caleb, I want to destroy it.
+
+LIAM: How will you destroy it?
+
+MARK: To be honest with you, I don’t know. I know
+I’ll find a way if I have to, but– I just– The
+
+biggest thing I’m afraid of is that the cult and
+Serissa, they’ll find somebody like me. They’ll
+
+find somebody descended from an ancient dragon
+like I was. Then they can do this all again. I got
+
+away once. I can’t let that happen to someone
+else.
+
+LIAM: Yasha, will you come here, please?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I need your help. Mollymauk, will you come
+here, please?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, sure.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard, Fjord, will you come here,
+please?
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: Sure.
+
+LIAM: I start to move away from Cali.
+
+LAURA: Why don’t you want me to come here,
+please?
+
+LIAM: Would you come back with me, Jester,
+please?
+
+LAURA: Whatever.
+
+MARK: (softly) What’s going on?
+
+LIAM: Once there is a defensive wall between me
+and Cali, I pull the bowl out of my bag.
+
+MARK: Where did you find that?
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Caleb, you found the bowl! I’m so
+proud of you.
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+MATT: (Jester voice) “I’m so proud of you.”
+
+LAURA: Yeah, Kiri’s proud of you, too.
+
+LIAM: No, Kiri. Bren found the bowl. Cali, I would
+like to help you, but this thing is… powerful.
+
+MARK: Yes.
+
+LIAM: And I met you ten hours ago?
+
+MARK: Mr. Caleb, all I can tell you is that the
+whole reason I came here is to find that, so– Let
+
+me put it this way. You care about these people?
+You care about this group?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I do.
+
+MARK: Then don’t keep that thing. The cult will
+find you. I know more about them than you. I can
+
+hide. I can stay away from them.
+
+LIAM: Well, I have a wonderful compromise. You
+know, we can all camp down here as I suggested,
+
+you included. In the morning, my good friend
+Jester can get to the bottom of your intentions
+
+for good. For real.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb’s still holding the bowl?
+
+MATT: Mm-hmm.
+
+MARISHA: Can I snatch it out of his hand real
+quick?
+
+MATT: Go ahead. Make a dexterity check, opposed.
+
+MARISHA: Just a straight dex check?
+
+LIAM: What do I do, dex as well? Oh, it’s gonna be
+so good.
+
+MATT: Disadvantage for you because you weren’t
+expecting it.
+
+MARISHA: It’s not great.
+
+LIAM: That’s a two, so I think this story is over.
+Aw, the second one was an 18. Aw. Three.
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: The bowl leaves your hand. Now Beau’s
+holding it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m playing a game of keep-away.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you natural Beau or big-ass Beau?
+
+MATT: No, it’s faded.
+
+MARISHA: (sing-songy) Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Why would you not want to wait 12 hours to
+see if this woman’s intentions are true or not?
+
+LAURA: What difference does it make?
+
+LIAM: What difference does it make?! This bowl–
+
+LAURA: You don’t have it in your hand anymore,
+Caleb.
+
+LIAM: This bowl that I am talking about can be
+used to speak to one of the most evil entities in
+
+the history of creation, so I think it warrants
+another 12 hours of waiting to get to the bottom
+
+of things.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think you should stop someone from
+talking to a god if they want to talk to a god.
+
+MARK: I don’t want to talk to her. I want to make
+that clear.
+
+ASHLEY: If you want to destroy it, why don’t we
+just destroy it right here?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think it can be.
+
+MARK: I always thought you’d need something more
+impressive to do that, but if we can destroy it
+
+here, then so be it.
+
+LIAM: I think it is going to be a little bit
+beyond your capabilities to destroy this bowl,
+
+Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: No, I don’t mean me.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, I respect you and all of your
+intentions, but your caution does not get to
+
+control other people’s destinies.
+
+LIAM: That bowl is used for communicating with
+(nervous laugh) the mother of dragons.
+
+MARK: Are you going to rest now? Are we doing
+anything else? Are you resting now, or do you wish
+
+to take this time now?
+
+MARISHA: You had no intentions of wanting this
+bowl, or needing this bowl, or caring about this
+
+bowl until Cali came around.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard. You keep the bowl all night so
+that Jester can use the spell she used in the past
+
+for truth, and then we ask Cali, and I would love
+to hear that Cali’s intentions are true and good.
+
+If they’re not, we’ll find out.
+
+LAURA: I believe you, Cali. I don’t think I need to
+cast it on you.
+
+MARK: But you need to trust each other.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, here’s an insane thing that
+occurred to me. Technically speaking, Charm Person
+
+lasts a really long time. I cast Friends.
+
+LIAM: Friends. One minute.
+
+LAURA: Oh! Well, I can cast Charm Person.
+
+MARK: You tried to cast something on your friend,
+the guide, right? To make him tell the truth. Do
+
+that on me. I won’t resist it. I promise.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fair. I’m into that.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay. I suggest you tell us the
+absolute truth of your intentions with this bowl.
+
+MARK: I don’t want to resist it, so: I intend to
+either destroy it, or find somewhere secure that
+
+the Cult of the Caustic Heart, servants of the
+Scaled Tyrant, can’t find it, because they knew my
+
+power. They knew that I’m descended from an
+ancient black dragon from far away. If they find
+
+another one like me, they could do terrible
+things. I promise you, Mr. Caleb, I promise you
+
+that all I want is to right some of the wrongs
+that I once did as part of that group. I helped
+
+kill people; I helped torture people. I’ve got to
+make this right, and that’s the only way I can do
+
+this. I don’t know much, but I know that the only
+person that can take that thing and make sure it’s
+
+not used for ill is me.
+
+TALIESIN: Mr. Caleb.
+
+SAM: (snickers) You have the helm.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s only so many burdens we’re
+expected to bear before we’re asking for failure.
+
+MARK: I don’t want you to have to bear this one.
+
+LIAM: I’m glad for you to take it. I’m a little
+surprised at the rest of you for me being
+
+cautious, but I’m glad for you to take it.
+
+MARK: Thank you.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, no. I’m with you.
+
+MARISHA: I grab Caleb, drag him aside, hand Cali
+the bowl, drag Caleb over to a private corner, and
+
+I say, look. We all have our fucking trauma. You
+understand that? We all have our fucking garbage,
+
+and our dirt, and our shit. But you don’t get to
+use your skeletons in your closet, your PTSD, to
+
+be shitty and control other people and what they
+want. It does not make you the authority on what’s
+
+right and what’s wrong. Just because you think
+that you’re a shitty person, guess what? We’re all
+
+fucking shitty people.
+
+LAURA: Not all of us are shitty.
+
+LIAM: Are we separate or are we not separate?
+
+MATT: She’s not being subtle.
+
+MARISHA: I get feeling like shitty people. I don’t
+speak for the rest of these guys, but I get
+
+feeling shitty. But it doesn’t mean that you get
+to impress that on other people and make them feel
+
+like shitheads just because you are.
+
+LIAM: Beauregard, what if she had been lying to
+us?
+
+MARISHA: Then she fucking lied to us. We take
+that, and we learn that as a lesson for later on.
+
+MARK: Ms. Beauregard, if I can.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, Cali?
+
+MARK: I think out of everyone here, from what I’ve
+seen, Mr. Caleb is the only one who really
+
+understands how powerful this thing is. Even I
+didn’t know as much. I appreciate everything that
+
+you’ve just said and it’s the nicest thing that
+anyone’s ever done for me. Please don’t blame him.
+
+He was doing the right thing.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not blaming him. It’s just that this
+isn’t the first occurrence of something like this
+
+with him, either.
+
+MARK: I think he’s trying to do the right thing.
+
+MARISHA: I think he is, too.
+
+MARK: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: (yelling) You were right, Caleb! You’re
+just a shitty communicator!
+
+MARISHA: It’s kind of what Molly said.
+
+TALIESIN: (yelling) Yep!
+
+LIAM: I told you exactly what I wanted to do, and
+why.
+
+MARISHA: The road to hell is paved with good
+intentions.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know what you’re talking about. And
+I walk away from her without saying another word.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fair.
+
+MARK: I’m going to look at everybody. I really
+wish I could help you with the rest of this, but
+
+I’ve got to get this thing away from you, you
+know? People will be after this, as soon as I can.
+
+LAURA: Cali, be careful. There’s trolls out there,
+and gators.
+
+MARK: I’ll be careful.
+
+TRAVIS: Cali, I’m just curious. You don’t want to
+try and smash it on the ground real fast? Just for
+
+shits and giggles.
+
+MARK: I can try.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, while we’re all here.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never played with a magical item
+before.
+
+MATT: You throw it on the ground. It rolls off,
+untouched.
+
+MARK: I’ll try Acid Splash as well.
+
+MATT: All the acid runs off of it, unscathed.
+
+TRAVIS: Yasha, chuck that shit on the side of the
+wall, will you?
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, is it magical?
+
+LAURA: Super-duper.
+
+LIAM: Highly.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to try to take out my Magician’s
+Judge sword. Because I can try to Dispel Magic.
+
+I’ll try to do it. Might not work.
+
+MATT: Okay. You’re going to strike it as you’re
+dispelling it? Is that what you’re doing?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Okay. You hold your Magician’s Judge up, you
+lift it over your head, and swing it down with all
+
+your might. Go ahead and make the check for the
+Dispel Magic on the sword.
+
+ASHLEY: What’s that?
+
+MATT: It’s under the description of the sword on
+your app. It’s a d20 plus– Not the attack roll;
+
+it’s under the ability.
+
+ASHLEY: –cast as a 3rd-level and the ability
+check bonus for the spell is plus three.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so roll and add three.
+
+ASHLEY: 13?
+
+MATT: 13. As you strike downward, there’s a brief
+moment where you see a flash of energy as if the
+
+field is temporarily dissipating whatever magical
+connection this object holds. In that brief,
+
+ever-so-subtle instance of time in which this
+marble bowl is left in a brief blip in history, it
+
+is exposed to the elements. The blade carves
+through and shatters. The glow, (explosion)! For
+
+that instance, there is a brief burst of bright
+green, blue, red, white, black energy that
+
+emanates and this low growling rumble. And, with
+that, the bowl and whatever enchantment it held is gone.
+
+MARK: You did it.
+
+ASHLEY: Sorry.
+
+MARK: No! Yasha, you destroyed it! That’s exactly
+what I wanted to do! I didn’t think it’d be possible!
+
+ASHLEY: I really didn’t either. I just–
+
+TALIESIN: I owe you the biggest drink. Oh my god!
+
+MARK: Ms. Yasha, though, you need to be careful. I
+mean, that thing was connected to the Scaled
+
+Tyrant and the cultists. If they find out what you’ve
+done, they’ll come after you. But I want you to
+
+know I’ll do whatever I can to stop them.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, hey, (stutters) I just– I didn’t
+think that was going to happen so fast, to be
+
+honest.
+
+MARK: I don’t think any of us did.
+
+MATT: It’s interesting. As it shattered and while
+you’re having this conversation, there’s this
+
+static electricity around Yasha. Occasionally, as
+she brings her hand closer, you watch as these
+
+little bolts of energy are arcing through here. As
+it slowly fades, you can see there’s a slight
+
+faint glow of the symbol she holds at her belt
+that eventually goes mundane as well.
+
+MARK: Can I rush over and hug Yasha for what she’s
+done? I throw my arms around you, draconic claw
+
+piercing in a little bit.
+
+ASHLEY: I keep my arms down, but I give her a
+pat.
+
+MARK: Thank you so much. You don’t understand what
+this means.
+
+ASHLEY: You’re welcome. I’m glad it was me and not
+you so you don’t get in trouble or you’re not
+
+marked or anything.
+
+MARK: I’m sure that the Scaled Tyrant is looking
+for me in other ways, but thank you. You guys,
+
+I’ve never had people look after me and help me
+like this before. You guys are probably the first
+
+friends I’ve ever had. Where do you guys normally
+stay, if I need to come and find you?
+
+TRAVIS: We’re actually traveling all around. I was
+going to ask: Where do you go now, since you’ve
+
+achieved your objective?
+
+MARK: I’ll head back to Port Damali. There’s other
+artifacts I need to find and destroy, but now I
+
+know that they can be. That’s what I’m going to
+focus on.
+
+TRAVIS: We might find our way down to the
+Menagerie Coast at some point, and if we do, we’ll
+
+give you a look.
+
+MARK: I’d really like that, please.
+
+Can I write to you if I leave letters? Can
+we be pen pals, Jester?
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, I will send all the letters,
+Cali!
+
+MARK: Oh, yes, absolutely!
+
+LAURA: That would make me so happy!
+
+MARK: I’m going to write you letters all the
+time!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to write you letters back all the
+time, okay?
+
+MARK: Hugs.
+
+LAURA: Hugs, hugs, hugs.
+
+ASHLEY: I do have a question. The jewels in the
+bowl: are they still there?
+
+LAURA: What jewels?
+
+ASHLEY: In the eyeballs.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check to search for
+where the shards all landed.
+
+MARK: I’m going to start putting some of my stuff
+together to get ready to leave, but I’m going to
+
+head over to Nott, because Caleb’s walked off.
+
+ASHLEY: Six.
+
+MARK: Nott– Bren?
+
+SAM: You can just go with Nott.
+
+MARK: Okay. You seem to know Mr. Caleb really
+well.
+
+SAM: I do.
+
+MARK: Can you give him something for me?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+MARK: I’m going to give Nott the Scroll of
+Invisibility that I never used. This is for your
+
+help, for Mr. Caleb’s help, and all of you. It’s
+not much, but it’s something.
+
+SAM: This is very nice of you.
+
+MARK: You don’t know what you’ve done for me, so
+this is the least I can do. I really do understand
+
+what he did.
+
+SAM: He has– yes.
+
+MARK: Thank you.
+
+SAM: You’re welcome? Thank you. It was lovely to
+meet you– and he really does have the best of
+
+intentions.
+
+MARK: I know he does, and I’m sure he’s going to
+be a really powerful wizard one day.
+
+SAM: I know he will be.
+
+MARK: I know he will.
+
+SAM: Yes, he will! Why are you saying it like
+that? Because he will.
+
+MARK: Because you are!
+
+SAM: Okay!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARK: I’ll say my goodbyes and come up and shake
+Fjord’s hand.
+
+TRAVIS: Strong grip.
+
+MARK: I won’t use the dragon one. Go up to
+Mollymauk, shake hands.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, the dragon one.
+
+ASHLEY: The dragon one.
+
+MARK: Thank you?
+
+ASHLEY: I wouldn’t have skinned you, that was just
+a joke in the beginning.
+
+MARK: Oh, good. Don’t do that, please.
+
+ASHLEY: I won’t– (quietly) I would have, but I
+just–
+
+MARK: Good luck with clearing this out, but I’ve
+got to go.
+
+LAURA: Be careful, okay?
+
+MARK: I will, I promise. We’ll write letters.
+
+LAURA: Yes, of course!
+
+TRAVIS: Remember, follow the daggers on the way
+out, they mark your way.
+
+MARK: I will do. Yeah, I’ve got to keep out for
+that troll, right?
+
+SAM: We were supposed to get some sort of
+bracelet.
+
+MARISHA: Troll, and also really big alligators.
+
+MARK: Well, you got my scroll.
+
+SAM: Over shit!
+
+MARK: I’ll make my way out.
+
+MATT: Okay. Cali climbs the rope, with a brief
+glimmer of her feet vanishing into the tunnel
+
+above. You all settle in to rest and decide what
+you’re going to do with the rest of this chamber,
+
+if anything. And that’s where we’ll end tonight’s
+game.
+
+LIAM: Drama!
+
+MATT: Good drama! It’s fun.
+
+MARISHA: I love you.
+
+TRAVIS: Dram-o-mine!
+
+MATT: Oh man. Good game. Mark, thank you for
+coming on!
+
+MARK: No, thank you guys all so much! I’ve said
+this to Matt, but I’ve been hearing stories of Vox
+
+Machina since before you guys started streaming
+from Matt, and I’ve watched the whole show, so
+
+this was super awesome to get to be here and play
+with you guys.
+
+MARISHA: Tell them where to find you on High
+Rollers!
+
+MARK: Yeah, so if you’d like to see me GM, I do a
+show called High Rollers every Sunday at 5:00pm
+
+UK-time. I think it’s like 9:00am PST? That’s on
+twitch.tv/Yogscast. We just finished our first
+
+two-and-a-half-year campaign, but on July 1st,
+we’re starting our brand new campaign.
+
+ALL: Wow!
+
+MARK: That’ll be our brand-new thing, so please
+come and watch that.
+
+LIAM: God, I can’t believe that’s already been
+that long.
+
+MARK: Well, when you guys started, we were
+inspired by Crit Role, and we started our show,
+
+and we’ve gotten to the next part of our
+adventures.
+
+MARISHA: Yogscast is great, you guys are great,
+the cast is great–
+
+MARK: High Rollers is great, I’m not going to talk
+about the rest of Yogscast.
+
+MATT: Yeah, High Rollers is great!
+
+MARK: Yeah, you can also see me on the Stream of
+Many Eyes. I’m going to be DMing a game for
+
+Ashley, Taliesin, and Sam on Sunday, along with
+some other people as well.
+
+ASHLEY: I can’t wait.
+
+MARK: Thank you guys all so much, that was
+awesome.
+
+MATT: Thank you for coming.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, Cali!
+
+MATT: Thank you guys for hanging on! Thank you D&D
+Beyond for being amazing. We love you guys so
+
+much. We’ll see you soon, and is it Thursday yet?
+Good night.
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Hello, and welcome, everybody, to tonight’s
+episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
+
+nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and shout dirty
+things at me and play Dungeons and Dragons. Way
+
+too late on that draw. But yes, welcome! First and
+foremost, before we jump into tonight’s game, we
+
+have some announcements to get through.
+
+LIAM: Testicle roach!
+
+(dubious noises)
+
+MATT: Before we get into the formal announcements,
+first off, those of us who were at the Stream of
+
+Many Eyes this past weekend had a great time. Hope
+you guys who tuned in to check out any of it have
+
+looked on YouTube to see the videos. We had some
+fun games with some great DMs– I had the
+
+opportunity with the Force Grey game– and we all
+got to play with a bunch of other great people in
+
+the community. And Deborah Ann Woll is an amazing
+DM. She’s pretty badass. But yeah, anyway, hope
+
+you guys enjoyed it. But, bringing us into our
+first announcements tonight, we have our fantastic
+
+returning partner-in-crime for this campaign thus
+far: our sponsor, D&D Beyond. Sam.
+
+SAM: D&D Beyond, everyone. Yeah, there’s an
+animated thing that, if you haven’t seen, you
+
+should check out, that’s pretty cool. As announced
+during the Stream of Many Eyes this past weekend,
+
+new adventures, Waterdeep: Dragon Heist and
+Waterdeep: Dungeon of the Mad Mage, are now
+
+available– on Laura’s phone– for preorder on D&D
+Beyond.
+
+MATT: Fun note to that, actually, too: the Dragon
+Heist adventure, I was one of the story and creative
+
+consultants on for that book.
+
+LIAM: Humble dragon-brag.
+
+MATT: A little bit, every now and then. But I got
+to put a little bit of my flavor on there. So many
+
+great people put it together; I was just happy to
+be even a part of that.
+
+LAURA: I like how none of us knew that.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Great friends, guys. It’s really– just
+exemplifies the relationship.
+
+LAURA: What’s your name again?
+
+SAM: Check out the D&D Beyond marketplace now to
+learn more and order now. And the great thing
+
+about D&D Beyond, guys, is that it simplifies
+managing your stats and inventory so you can just
+
+focus on creating. Creating new encounters,
+creating new characters, creating new monsters.
+
+And I thought I would inspire our audience by
+showing them what kind of– some samples of some
+
+new monsters that they could create. Now, you
+could use the same old stats, but maybe you give
+
+them a little new spin or a new flair. And to
+help, I made some artistic interpretations of some
+
+of my new monsters. So these are some new monsters
+you can create. You guys have all heard of a
+
+bulette? We fought them? Well, this is a
+bull-ette. It’s a female bullet! You can tell
+
+‘cause it’s pink!
+
+MARISHA: Did you print out a picture of a bullet?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I printed out a picture of a bullet and
+I colored it in pink. And it only fires once, so
+
+it’s a very quick encounter. You’ve heard of a
+displacer beast? This is a Despacito beast. It’s
+
+the same thing as a displacer beast, except you
+hear “dub-a-dub-a Puerto Rico dub-a-dub-a ay,
+
+bandito” when it goes invisible.
+
+MATT: They don’t actually go invisible, but
+continue.
+
+LIAM: Which is a problem, ‘cause it blows the
+invisibility.
+
+LAURA: Did your children draw these, or–
+
+SAM: No, I drew these. You guys have heard of an
+owlbear. Well, what about putting a little
+
+creative spin on it and making it a bowel-bear? It
+has crippling IBS. Oh, there’s more, guys.
+
+TRAVIS: It could also be like a fro-yo factory, I
+mean, that’s not–
+
+SAM: Yeah, it has a shit-spray attack. Here’s one
+I’m pretty proud of. You guys, there’s a monster
+
+in the Manual called the giant wasp. Well, this is
+the giant WASP. But he’s a White Anglo-Saxon
+
+Person. A WASP! You know, a WASP-y guy! He’s a
+WASP!
+
+ASHLEY: Is that what the 'P’ stands for?
+
+SAM: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: I don’t think that’s–
+
+SAM: That’s not true? I don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: I feel like you’re reaching.
+
+SAM: Okay, there’s two more.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god, please stop.
+
+SAM: Okay, there’s two more. This is a bone
+dirtdevil. It’s a bone devil that cleans up after
+
+every fight.
+
+LIAM: Did you draw that one, or is it your kid?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I drew that one! Last, but not least,
+it’s a Fanta-core!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: It’s just a manticore with Fanta as a head.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s a lot of work going into this. You
+can tell. I mean, there are Xeroxed copies.
+
+SAM: You like the bone dirtdevil?
+
+LAURA: I do.
+
+TALIESIN: I want a Fanta-core right now.
+
+MATT: Fanta-core, I’m down with.
+
+TALIESIN: What flavors does the Fanta-core come
+in?
+
+MATT: Dangerous and well-branded.
+
+SAM: Guys, there were more that I didn’t even
+draw. There was the Lin Manuel Miranda-boleth.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: There was a Nick Frost giant. He always has
+Simon Pegg with him.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Check out more on my website.
+
+MATT: Save those for the next Sam Riegel bundle
+you can buy on D&D Beyond six months from now.
+
+LIAM: I’m pretty sure the only monster here is
+you.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam, and thank you, D&D Beyond.
+
+LAURA: Sorry, D&D Beyond.
+
+MATT: To that note too, as well, I released a couple
+small updates to the Blood Hunter that went up on
+
+D&D Beyond as well, as well as on the DMs Guild.
+So for those who are playing, check and see if
+
+there’s anything that affects your class. It might
+be the case. Minor tweaks, but things that I think
+
+will help improve gameplay and more fun, so. All
+right. The standard edition of Vox Machina:
+
+Origins are still for sale, apparently. We’re sold
+out of the special editions. Seems to be the case.
+
+But the standard editions are still available. You
+can go to critrole.com for information and detail
+
+on that. Or the Geek & Sundry and Alpha online
+shops, as where you’ll find it for purchase. Let’s
+
+see. Talks Machina, of course, will be happening
+about this episode, tonight, next Tuesday at 7 PM
+
+Pacific Time, with our wonderful host, Brian W.
+Foster, and a number of our cast members will be
+
+attending to discuss the insanity that is imminent
+to occur this evening. So check that out. Don’t
+
+forget to submit your fanart or gif of the week to
+submit@talksmachina.com. And a reminder, through
+
+Twitch Prime, if you have your Amazon Prime
+account, you can connect it with your Twitch
+
+account, and once a month you get a free
+subscription to a Twitch channel of your choice.
+
+It’s free, and you get to support some of your
+favorite creators out there, so go check it out if
+
+you haven’t.
+
+LAURA: For a split-second, you sounded like Kermit
+the Frog.
+
+MATT: (Kermit voice) Oh, I’m just trying to make
+sure that you get your proper announcements there
+
+for your game. Okay. Let’s play some D&D.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: (Kermit voice) Roll initiative. (normal
+voice) All right, so, on that note, I believe it’s
+
+time to dive into tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Hello, and welcome back.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Oh man, that’s a good one. Winner. That’s
+a blue-ribbon echelon.
+
+LIAM: (tearfully) I just thought of it five
+seconds ago and I’m so happy.
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everybody.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: So. Where we last left off, the Mighty Nein
+have been making their way towards Beleben and the
+
+Labenda Swamp to tackle the first of their two
+tasks they had taken from the Gentleman in Zadash.
+
+Traveling along the way, you managed to save and
+make friends with a very young kenku named Kiri
+
+who has been accompanying you through your journey
+thus far. You managed to find an individual who
+
+could guide you through the swamp, who was
+summarily taken and probably eaten by a troll that
+
+was stalking you through the swamp. You found an
+ally named Cali, Calianna, who was a
+
+dragon-blooded sorcerer who seemed to have aligned
+interests towards the direction you were traveling
+
+to find the safe house that belonged to the
+Gentleman that had gone quiet. Upon hearing that
+
+there had been some sort of attack on it, all of
+you went through the swamp, forded the dangers,
+
+made your way to the base of the tree, where it
+was discovered to be within and below the base of
+
+this large banyan tree on the northern side of the
+Labenda Swamp.
+
+LAURA: Is it called a bangin’ tree?
+
+MATT: Banyan. It’s a bangin’ tree. Just want you
+to know, of all the trees I’ve seen, it’s pretty
+
+bangin’. After investigating the scene and trying
+to pick up details about what had transpired, you
+
+found a number of bodies that had been put up,
+left to bloat, and die as a warning for those who
+
+had made their way in. On the inside, it looks
+like the interior of the safe house had been
+
+cleaned out and summarily dragged through a
+subterranean tunnel. Following this tunnel down
+
+below, you found strange, twisted-looking merfolk
+called merrow that seemed to have been living in
+
+these partially submerged tunnels, this system
+beneath the swamp. You engaged in battle, killed a
+
+number of them, and upon sifting through some of
+the remnants of what was dragged out of the safe
+
+house, you discovered Cali’s quarry, which was a
+bowl that could speak to the Scaled Tyrant,
+
+Tiamat. You decided what to do, and after a brief
+confrontation, the bowl was handed over to Yasha,
+
+who attempted to sunder it using her Magician’s
+Judge, which succeeded: the item was left
+
+shattered into pieces. Cali, with her quest
+complete and not wishing to put herself into any
+
+further danger, decided to leave, bidding you all
+adieu, and clambered back up through the strange,
+
+dug tunnel that leads to the surface. You guys
+were left to think about what the next course of
+
+action was before Fjord made a brief swimming
+excursion into one of the far-off tunnels that led
+
+to a larger chamber and a base of operations where
+more of these merrow live. From the outskirts of
+
+what you could see, more remnants of what was
+taken from the safe house existed further in.
+
+Mighty Nein, you’ve seen Cali clamber off. You
+guys have taken down from the heat of the moment.
+
+What do you wish to do?
+
+TRAVIS: We got to rest up, right?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m a little tired.
+
+LAURA: We should probably sleep.
+
+SAM: But there’s fish men and possibly fish women
+right down there that could come out and kill us
+
+in our sleep.
+
+TRAVIS: I think Caleb has a little booby trap for
+that, don’t you?
+
+LIAM: Caleb starts silver threading the entrance
+that Fjord swam through.
+
+TALIESIN: I say we sleep upstairs.
+
+LAURA: Upstairs?
+
+TALIESIN: Pull the rope up, that way we’ll have
+plenty of time if we hear them coming back up.
+
+TRAVIS: Add some distance, yeah.
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+SAM: What if there’s unlimited numbers of them?
+What if there’s a whole–
+
+TRAVIS: I only saw, like, five.
+
+SAM: You only saw like five. Did you keep going
+down into the tunnels?
+
+TRAVIS: No, but I got pretty fucking sharp eyes,
+all right? They call me Eagle-Eye Fjord where I
+
+come from.
+
+LAURA: Did they really?
+
+TRAVIS: (cawing) Crow Fjord, or maybe raven, you
+don’t know.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a lot of nicknames.
+
+TRAVIS: It is.
+
+TALIESIN: With the warning system, we’ll have
+plenty of time to get away if there’s too many of
+
+them and they’ll have no way up if we pull the
+rope up.
+
+LAURA: Well, what will we put in the doorway of
+the tree, though?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know if we leave the tree.
+
+LAURA: No, are we sleeping in the tree?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: People will keep watch.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: That way we’ll have an early warning
+before they even manage to crawl their way up.
+
+TRAVIS: And we know where the entrance is.
+
+LIAM: The moment that they exit the pool, we’ll
+know and it would wake me up, or you up, or
+
+anybody up.
+
+SAM: We’re just going to gloss over the fact that
+Fjord has three bird nicknames?
+
+LAURA: Bird-Eye Fjord I think is what he was
+getting at, you know?
+
+TRAVIS: Also very popular.
+
+MATT: Kiri pipes up. (like Jester) “Bird-Eye
+Fjord.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s right, Kiri, Bird-Eye Fjord.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Bird-Eye Fjord.”
+
+TRAVIS: It’s sticking.
+
+MATT: (like Fjord) “Sticking.”
+
+SAM: That does not sound good.
+
+MARISHA: Can we call you B.E.F. for short?
+Bird-Eye Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: No. We make our way up the rope into the
+bottom of the tree, but the entrance is still open.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you guys are making your way up and
+climbing using the roots and the rope and the
+
+interior, you begin to, now that you’re not
+focused on what’s below, notice that a lot of the
+
+earth in this particular tunnel– that isn’t too
+wide necessarily, it’s about three feet wide in
+
+most places– You can see the claw marks where
+it’s been dug out. The softer portion of the
+
+ground where you landed upon emerging from making
+your way down, you can see a lot of the earth and chunks of
+
+root that have been carved out. It wasn’t a natural
+tunnel or something they discovered; they dug up
+
+into the safe house to retrieve whatever was
+inside. Nevertheless, you all make your way up
+
+into the hollow base of the safe house tree. You
+guys can set up camp if you’d like to.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take first watch, if you want. I can
+post up outside and do a little illusion work.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll join you.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to spend a little time with Kiri.
+I want to teach you some sayings. How long can you
+
+keep mimicking things?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Mimicking things.”
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take that as a long time.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Long time.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, good. I’m going to tell you if
+someone asks what your name is, you say, “I am Kiri.”
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I am Kiri.”
+
+LAURA: See, look at this, this is great! Okay, and
+then if they go, “Are you nice?” You say, “Yes,
+
+“I’m very sweet.”
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Yes, I’m very sweet.”
+
+LAURA: If they say something you don’t like, you
+say, “Go fuck yourself.”
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Go fuck yourself.”
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god, I can’t believe you said it.
+
+SAM: It’s like a sound board.
+
+TRAVIS: Go fuck yourself.
+
+LAURA: You say, “Fuck yourself.”
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Go fuck yourself.”
+
+LAURA: Yes, that’s good. Okay, that’s a good
+start.
+
+SAM: Wait, if you get really excited, you should
+go (air horn blaring).
+
+MATT: (air horn blaring)
+
+LAURA: Oh no, don’t do that, Kiri! Don’t!
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin’s hair gets poofed out and his tail
+floofs out and he starts growling at the sound.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah?
+
+SAM: Are we going to sleep?
+
+LAURA: I think so.
+
+TRAVIS: About what time is it, anyway? Light still
+coming in from the outside of the tree?
+
+MATT: At this point, it’s probably just past dusk.
+There’s a little bit of blue cresting into night
+
+time. Light’s coming through the trees, but it
+looks like you’re about half an hour out from a
+
+pitch black sky.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+LIAM: Is it my turn with the dodecahedron?
+
+LAURA: Oh yes! Do you want it?
+
+LIAM: I do.
+
+SAM: For today?
+
+LAURA: But wait for the morning, unless you want
+to use it today, and then somebody else will get
+
+it in the morning. Because it only lasts for 24
+hours.
+
+LIAM: Did you use it?
+
+SAM: I did not. Oh, I did. We have to save it for
+tomorrow.
+
+LIAM: I more want to examine it.
+
+LAURA: Oh, yes, here. Do you want to take it out
+of the bag?
+
+LIAM: No. Can I borrow the bag?
+
+LAURA: Here’s the bag.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to spend maybe a half-hour before
+bed not trying to use it, but just examine it.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an arcana check.
+
+LIAM: 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. Assessing its design, paying attention
+to its construct and the handles, and the edging
+
+of where the different facets of it are affixed to
+this cage-like exterior to it, you really have no
+
+idea what material it’s made from. The faint
+magical essence that comes off of it, and with the
+
+training you have had across the various schools
+of magic, this seems hard to pin down. You’re not
+
+sure the source of its magic, but it does seem
+very old. It seems like it’s been shaped or it’s
+
+been polished from whatever its raw form was at
+one point in time.
+
+LIAM: Well, this evening I’m going to use it for
+the grand purpose of being my pillow in the bag,
+
+so I’m going to sleep.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LIAM: It’s in the bag.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) I’m putting it back on my
+body.
+
+LIAM: Does my head do this?
+
+LAURA: Oh, you were sleeping on it?
+
+MATT: Yeah, using it as a pillow.
+
+LAURA: Just kidding!
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Let me ask you something.
+
+TRAVIS: Shoot.
+
+MARISHA: I think I messed up. I think maybe I
+should apologize to Caleb. I’m not very good at
+
+apologizing, though. I was wondering if maybe you
+could give me some pointers for apologizing.
+
+TRAVIS: You’re not good at apologizing?
+
+MARISHA: You’re being facetious, aren’t you?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m fucking with you. You reckon you
+need to apologize?
+
+MARISHA: I probably got a little too aggressive,
+probably shouldn’t have grabbed him like that. Got
+
+a little too angry. That’s not necessarily my good
+side, you know, don’t like people seeing that.
+
+TRAVIS: You know, a great place to start with
+apologies is to mention the stuff you just said.
+
+MARISHA: That I’m not good at apologies?
+
+TRAVIS: No, after that, right.
+
+MARISHA: I got a little too aggressive?
+
+TRAVIS: One.
+
+MARISHA: And I have a bad side.
+
+TRAVIS: Dos.
+
+MARISHA: And I shouldn’t have done it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s a really good apology.
+
+MARISHA: Is that pretty good?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. However, right? Be genuine. Don’t be
+embarrassed to apologize. It takes a big person to
+
+apologize for something. Little people are the
+ones that make mistakes and just let them go.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, like Nott? A little person.
+
+TRAVIS: No, like small on the inside.
+
+MARISHA: Right, like in your soul.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s big of you.
+
+MARISHA: It’s, you know, I want to try, I guess.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think he deserves that. He’s been
+good to us.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I think so.
+
+TRAVIS: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Hopefully it goes well.
+
+TRAVIS: I think it will. You can actually leave
+the smile out of it this time, just to be clear.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, okay. Not like: I’m sorry!
+
+TRAVIS: No, that’s going to set the tone in a real
+weird way. There’s a thing called sarcasm that you
+
+ride a line with sometimes.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s good to know.
+
+MATT: All right, the rest of you find yourselves
+to sleep, or is there anything else you wish to do
+
+before the night’s done? Any order of taking
+watch, or are you all just resting under the
+
+protection of Caleb’s silver thread?
+
+TRAVIS: No. Beau and I are up first.
+
+LAURA: I’ll do second.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: Second as well.
+
+MATT: We’ll say that was for your first watch.
+While you guys are having that conversation, one
+
+of you roll with advantage on your perception
+check, or you can both roll separately, your call.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s roll separately. Oof, terrible.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. Five.
+
+MARISHA: Five.
+
+MATT: Oh, leave him hanging.
+
+LAURA: Her perception is low, you wouldn’t see the
+high five.
+
+MATT: That’s true.
+
+MARISHA: Five? Oh five!
+
+MATT: Good in-character moment there.
+
+As you guys are finishing your conversation,
+your watch comes to an end without incident.
+
+TRAVIS: With an arrow in our throat? I didn’t
+see– (choking)
+
+MATT: You rest so easily with the blood leaking
+out. You finish your watch, you wake up Nott and
+
+Jester, and you guys take on your second watch. Do
+you want to both make a roll for perception or–
+
+LAURA: Let’s roll separately!
+
+MATT: Okay! Worked out great last time.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: That’s a four.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. I think it’s 12 for me.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: High roll!
+
+MATT: While you guys are taking some time, concentrating
+on listening out for anything and feeling pretty
+
+solid in your ability to maintain vigil across
+this dark, eerie night in the center of this
+
+hollow tree, you don’t hear or see a goddamned
+thing. But a little twinkle hits your ears, Caleb.
+
+SAM: Oh shit!
+
+MATT: As suddenly something down below, by
+the pool on the opposite end of that kidney-shaped
+
+interior cavern, seems to go off.
+
+LIAM: I’m awake?
+
+MATT: Yes, you come to consciousness.
+
+LIAM: They’re awake?
+
+MATT: They are awake.
+
+LIAM: Ah, fish, Nott.
+
+SAM: No, we’re on watch. We haven’t seen anything,
+it’s just a dream.
+
+LIAM: No, down below, in my–
+
+LAURA: In the cavern? In the tunnel?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: What should we do? Should we wake everyone
+up?
+
+SAM: We should wake everyone up!
+
+LIAM: Wake up!
+
+MARISHA: Ow!
+
+LAURA: Wake up!
+
+SAM: Fjord! (cawing)
+
+TRAVIS: What, what?
+
+SAM: Don’t wake up Kiri, though. She deserves a
+really nice night’s sleep.
+
+LAURA: She really does, let her sleep.
+
+MATT: She’s all curled up in the corner, like
+(trilling) with her feathers all poofed up.
+
+SAM: I’m going to give her my blanket.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to send Frumpkin to crawl down and
+get a look.
+
+MATT: Okay, roll a stealth check for Frumpkin.
+
+LAURA: Does Frumpkin fall down the tunnel, then?
+
+MATT: Cats can do some pretty crazy shit.
+
+LIAM: It’s fine. Good, four.
+
+MATT: Okay. Frumpkin drops down onto the soft and
+makes it around. Focusing on it, you can see that
+
+another merrow has emerged into that chamber and–
+nope.
+
+LAURA: We didn’t hide the bodies.
+
+MATT: Goes around and sees the bodies there lying
+in the middle of the space. He (growls).
+
+LIAM: Oh, we left the corpses out.
+
+LAURA: Oops.
+
+MATT: He goes and drags him back a little bit,
+begins rifling through whatever it might have had,
+
+and looks over right at Frumpkin. Grabs the
+trident spear and throws it.
+
+LAURA: Did you snap him out?
+
+LIAM: I don’t know.
+
+MATT: You weren’t close enough to do that, I don’t
+think.
+
+LIAM: No? 100 feet.
+
+MATT: 100 feet to snap him back, or is it
+shorter than that? Double-check on that real fast.
+
+LAURA: Oh, again, again!
+
+TALIESIN: Kitten kebab.
+
+SAM: I remember saying that we should hide the
+corpses and Cali actually said, “Don’t do it,
+
+"there’s no point to it.” So we should blame Cali.
+
+LAURA: I don’t remember Cali saying that.
+
+SAM: That’s what Cali said.
+
+LIAM: I actually have no memory of anything on
+range for bamfing in and out, but I will defer to
+
+you because you’re my DM.
+
+MATT: “As an action, you can temporarily dismiss
+your familiar.” It doesn’t say range. “You can
+
+"cause it to reappear within 30 feet of you.”
+That’s what I forgot. So you can do that. The last
+
+thing you see, briefly, before Frumpkin vanishes,
+is this three-pronged trident rocking through the
+
+darkness, with what faint little bit of visibility
+that Frumpkin has, not even being able to see much
+
+down there in the darkness before disappearing.
+
+LIAM: Ja, there is one down there right now and
+he tried to kill my cat.
+
+LAURA: Should we go down there or should we stay up here?
+
+TRAVIS: Hit the wall against the hole, right?
+We’ll take either side of it, either flank.
+
+SAM: Why don’t we just blow up the hole?
+
+TRAVIS: No, because we still want to go down
+there.
+
+SAM: Why do we want to go down there? There’s
+crazy people down there!
+
+LAURA: Nott, shut up! Because there’s treasure and
+stuff.
+
+SAM: You could just say, “Be quiet.”
+
+LAURA: Nott, please be quiet.
+
+SAM: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Molly, I want you to get right on the edge
+of the hole and keep an eye down the shaft.
+
+MATT: (chirping) (like Jester) “Go fuck
+yourself.”
+
+LAURA: Oh, I love her!
+
+SAM: We woke her up, though, but it was cute.
+
+LAURA: Kiri, (shushing).
+
+LIAM: Am I able to prepare Magic Missile like a
+held spell for a fish head popping out of the hole?
+
+MATT: Holding your action, if it comes back
+around, the spell is either fizzled or released.
+
+So you can wait for something and then cast the
+spell as an action.
+
+LIAM: But I’d lose the slot if I held the–
+
+MATT: If you ended up holding it for a few minutes,
+yes, because the idea is that you’re casting the
+
+spell and then holding onto that last piece of the
+incantation.
+
+LIAM: I won’t do that, then, but I will watch the
+hole.
+
+SAM: Is our rope still dangling down the hole?
+
+MATT: No, you pulled the rope up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to hold Sacred Flame because it’s
+a cantrip.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to activate one sword, hold it
+behind my back, sit at the edge, and wait to give
+
+a swing. See if anything is going to pop up.
+
+TRAVIS: Let it come all the way up if it does.
+
+SAM: If it comes up, should we grab it?
+
+TRAVIS: Grapple it, fall flat, kill it quietly.
+
+MATT: You guys take a moment in silence.
+
+LAURA: It might be going back and telling its
+friends, though, and they’re all going to come back.
+
+MARISHA: You think those guys have strong family
+bonds?
+
+LAURA: Probably.
+
+MATT: Two minutes pass. Three minutes pass.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. What if it digs up a hole in another
+area, you guys?
+
+MATT: Then you hear this ever-so-faint grinding of
+root on scale. This merrow sentinel slides,
+
+slithering like a snake out of the curtain of
+roots that currently cover that one portion of the
+
+wall that leads further beneath the safe house.
+All of you guys take a surprise round. As soon as
+
+it emerges to go ahead and inspect, it’s like,
+“Huh?”
+
+TRAVIS: It came up the tunnel that was already
+there?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It emerged and jack-in-the-boxed out
+towards you.
+
+LAURA: Dex save of 15.
+
+MATT: That is a four, nope!
+
+LAURA: Ten radiant damage.
+
+MATT: Ten radiant damage. Good to know.
+
+SAM: I fired and missed with a natural one.
+
+MATT: Oh, buddy. (whoosh) Nothing.
+
+TALIESIN: Just a standard attack, or standard and
+bonus?
+
+MATT: For the purpose of it all happening at once,
+just one attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Two strikes or one strike?
+
+MATT: Two strikes. It’s whatever your attack
+action is.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s awful. 11?
+
+MATT: Misses.
+
+TALIESIN: And an eight.
+
+MATT: Both miss. Unfortunately, because you guys
+don’t have any light in here, when it emerges,
+
+you’re all swinging in the darkness hoping to hit
+it in the direction of where it is.
+
+LIAM: I have no lights up, so I should be at
+disadvantage, right?
+
+MATT: You would be, yes.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to roll again. What does that say?
+
+MATT: Is this Magic Missile?
+
+LIAM: No, I had to Fire Bolt so it wouldn’t matter
+how long I held it. My lower is a 12.
+
+MATT: That misses.
+
+MARISHA: I rolled a 20 total. That’s 11 damage. My
+second attack missed.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+TRAVIS: I did Eldritch Blast and a 20 and a 24.
+
+MATT: Both hit. Roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Ten and a nine. 19 points of Eldritch
+Blast.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a ten, total.
+
+MATT: On your first attack?
+
+ASHLEY: Second attack. There we go. That’s a 21.
+
+TALIESIN: Someone hit something. Yay.
+
+LAURA: You should really separate out your dice,
+Ashley.
+
+ASHLEY: I know it’s making you crazy.
+
+TRAVIS: Monstrous or–?
+
+MATT: They are considered monstrosities, so
+consider that for any damage you deal to them with
+
+your sword.
+
+TRAVIS: I will.
+
+MATT: You’re not raging, so you don’t have the
+plus two. Nor do you have your–
+
+ASHLEY: Path of Divine.
+
+MATT: Correct, because you’re not raging.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s ten.
+
+MATT: That’s enough. Even with all of your misses,
+you watch as it emerges, and then (multiple impacts)
+
+and slumps. Yeah, as you grab it, it
+starts sliding back into the tunnel. You grab and
+
+lift him– he’s heavy as shit– and you all
+together manage to slip it into and onto the floor.
+
+LIAM: I just watched all that.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m staying on guard in case anything
+else comes through.
+
+MATT: Fair enough.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, same.
+
+MATT: What little bit of light you have in the
+chamber right now is a little faint, radiant glow
+
+from the sword that Molly currently has that is
+like candlelight, if anything.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to pull out a rag and do my veiled
+lantern thing with Dancing Lights.
+
+LAURA: You should probably put another one of
+those things up, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Put one of what things up?
+
+LAURA: Another alarm!
+
+LIAM: Down there? You want me to go down there?
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want me to go with you?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you and Yasha go.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, let’s go.
+
+SAM and LAURA: No!
+
+LIAM: I’m going to send Frumpkin down again.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin emerges, you send Frumpkin back
+down. Make a stealth check for Frumpkin.
+
+LIAM: Come on, Frumpy. Nine.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+MATT: The loudest cat you’ve ever heard. Frumpkin
+is the neighborhood cat in heat at this point. He
+
+makes his way down through the tunnel. Make a
+perception check with disadvantage for Frumpkin
+
+because he’s now coming around the edge.
+
+LIAM: Someone told me that cats have advantage on
+perception. Are they full of shit? You’re my DM.
+
+Would it cancel out, is why I’m asking?
+
+MATT: Would it cancel out? I would ask you to keep
+the stats of your cat on you for future reference.
+
+LIAM: I will.
+
+MATT: They have advantage on wisdom perception
+checks that rely on smell. I’d say sure.
+
+LIAM: So cancel?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’ll cancel out, so a straight roll.
+
+LAURA: And it’s a fish. Cats are really perceptive
+when it comes to fish.
+
+LIAM: That’s pretty good. Perception, 19.
+
+MATT: Okay. Frumpkin heads on down, keeps an eye
+out on that space, does a little pass. No sign of
+
+any other emerging or present merrow.
+
+TALIESIN: Instead of putting another wire down
+there, you could leave Frumpkin down there, and he
+
+can alert us if there’s any problem.
+
+TRAVIS: But he’s got to stay awake for it.
+
+LIAM: He could watch, but the alarm is just as
+good. It’s automatic, gets me up, Frumpkin can
+
+sleep. After you.
+
+SAM: You’re going down there?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+SAM: By yourselves?
+
+LAURA: With Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: With me.
+
+SAM: Take good care of him.
+
+ASHLEY: I will.
+
+TALIESIN: If we hear anything, we’re going to
+charge down there. They’ll be fine.
+
+SAM: He can’t make it without you.
+
+ASHLEY: I know.
+
+SAM: He will not come back alive.
+
+ASHLEY: I know. I will take care of him as best as
+I can. Even better than that, I will take care of
+
+him. I promise you, he will not die.
+
+SAM: He will have no chance of survival. Okay.
+
+MATT: Slowly lowering the rope back down the
+tunnel, which one of you is taking point on
+
+climbing down?
+
+ASHLEY: I will go first.
+
+MATT: You make your way down, the rope aiding you
+in the process. You get to the bottom, you as
+
+well. I’d like you both to roll stealth checks,
+please, as you emerge in the lower cavern.
+
+LIAM: 12.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+MATT: You two gingerly step your way around the
+edge, back to the site you can see of the three
+
+corpses of the merrow there in the center of the
+opposite side of the cavern.
+
+LIAM: I have my hand on Yasha’s enormous, rippling
+shoulder.
+
+MATT: As you make your way around to the other
+pool, you can see the water, disturbed relatively
+
+recently, isn’t perfectly still, but it’s nearing
+there. It’s coming to rest. No sign of anything
+
+down there.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, do your shit.
+
+LIAM: I need about ten minutes. In the dark, I
+pull out the thread and I start doing the thing.
+
+ASHLEY: Make it a little faster than ten if you
+can.
+
+LIAM: I can’t do that, but I will do that.
+
+MATT: Five minutes go by.
+
+SAM: I’m going to cast Message. Are you still
+alive? You can reply to this message.
+
+TALIESIN: Mention that they should clean up the
+bodies.
+
+SAM: Oh, yeah. While Yasha’s waiting, she can
+clean up the bodies. You can reply to this message.
+
+ASHLEY: I will start to move the bodies.
+
+LAURA and ASHLEY: Stealthily.
+
+LIAM: We’ll say that I said that out loud to her.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes. What did you say?
+
+LIAM: Nott had a wonderful idea for you to pick up
+all of the dead things.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you begin to drag the bodies back
+into the central pool. They sink.
+
+ASHLEY: Flow in.
+
+MATT: All right. You complete the latter half of it.
+Okay. You finish the spell, you sense the arcane,
+
+unseen net of the alarm click in, and it’s prepared
+and set to keep watch.
+
+LIAM: Let’s get the shit out of here.
+
+LAURA: (whispering) Run away!
+
+ASHLEY: Let’s go.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way back, climb back up
+the rope, and make your way into the interior of
+
+the tree, seemingly without incident.
+
+ASHLEY: Seemingly?
+
+LAURA: I’m going back to sleep, you guys. I need
+to get my spells back.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take the next watch since I’m awake.
+
+MATT: Yasha takes final watch. Go ahead and roll a
+perception check for me.
+
+LIAM: I’m freaked out, so I’m going to stay up
+with Yasha.
+
+MATT: Both of you guys make perception checks for
+me, please.
+
+LIAM: Perception, 11.
+
+SAM: (singing) Run away, run away!
+
+ASHLEY: 15.
+
+MATT: As you guys complete the third watch for the
+evening, you sense the morning come as the
+
+temperature, which previously had gotten quite
+chilled, is beginning to rise a bit, though now
+
+you can still see your breath in the air. A faint
+bit of bluish light begins to appear at the outer
+
+edges of the driftwood piece that is wedged in the
+doorway to make it look flush with the rest of the
+
+exterior bark. You all complete a long rest. You
+have your abilities back, your hit points full,
+
+and you are ready to continue.
+
+LIAM: Could I back up one hour and ask Yasha a
+quick question?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: This is a small group for you, you traveled
+with the circus.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: This is a big group for me.
+
+ASHLEY: It is?
+
+LIAM: Do you have any advice?
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I mean–
+
+LIAM: You seem awkward like me.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: But you made it work with a lot of people.
+
+ASHLEY: Well, if someone has a conversation with
+me, I will talk to them.
+
+LIAM: I’ve tried that too, and it goes horribly.
+
+ASHLEY: No, I don’t think it goes as bad as you
+think.
+
+LIAM: I think it goes pretty bad.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, yes, sometimes I think it’s been
+pretty bad even for me sometimes, watching you.
+
+But that doesn’t mean– there’s always room for
+improvement–
+
+LIAM: I’m confused, did you have advice?
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t think I’m good at giving advice,
+but just talk to people if they talk to you, and
+
+be nice, you know. Eat with your mouth closed,
+wash your hands.
+
+LIAM: I start writing these things down.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god.
+
+ASHLEY: Wash your hair when you can, that’s fine.
+
+LIAM: It just rained though. This is the cleanest
+I’ve been in weeks.
+
+ASHLEY: (dubious noise) I feel like you’re
+still– how do you stay dirty all the time?
+
+LIAM: Most of the time I’m trying to. People
+don’t pay attention to beggars so much.
+
+ASHLEY: So you don’t want people to pay attention
+to you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, in general.
+
+ASHLEY: I get that. I feel that way, but I’m hard
+to miss. I don’t mean that in a, “Woo, I’m hard to miss.”
+
+LIAM: You’re as big as a giant barn, you are hard
+to miss.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. Well, I–
+
+LIAM: Do you know what I miss?
+
+ASHLEY: What?
+
+LIAM: Shaving.
+
+ASHLEY: I could shave you right now with my
+sword.
+
+TRAVIS: (quietly) Yes!
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve done it before, I like to not have
+hair on my arms. This is what I do. I really think
+
+that cleanliness and hygiene is very important.
+
+LIAM: One thing that I have realized today is that
+I need to work on my interpersonal skills and
+
+friendship making. So try not to cut up my face,
+okay?
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, do you just want a trim? Is there a
+certain look you want?
+
+LIAM: No, leave my hair on my head, but I have not
+had a clean-shaven face in a long time.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want it all gone, or you just
+want–?
+
+LIAM: No, you can take it all.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s easier to do that.
+
+LIAM: You can crush a person, but I’m not quite
+sure how dexterous you are, so I don’t want any
+
+fancy tricks.
+
+ASHLEY: I won’t. I’m going to hold it like this,
+and then the blade– this is how I do it. I hold
+
+it, and then I whoosh, you know?
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: This is your five-foot greatsword?
+
+(laughter)
+
+ASHLEY: So sit here.
+
+LIAM: Should I lie on the ground?
+
+ASHLEY: Oh yeah, lie down. I’ve never done it like
+that, but yeah, lie down.
+
+LIAM: Have you done this before?
+
+ASHLEY: I have done this before.
+
+LIAM: With that?
+
+ASHLEY: Not with this, something a little
+smaller.
+
+LIAM: I lie on the floor.
+
+MATT: Okay. In the early dawn hours of the new
+day, as the blue begins to slowly become brighter
+
+in the distance–
+
+LIAM: Wait! This means we are friends.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+LIAM: (inhales)
+
+ASHLEY: You don’t have to hold your breath because
+it will take a very long time and you’ll pass
+
+out.
+
+LIAM: That might be better.
+
+ASHLEY: You need to relax, breathe in, breathe
+out. Okay, I got it. Here we go.
+
+MATT: I would like you to roll a dexterity check,
+please. Take advantage because he’s not moving.
+
+LIAM: Four globules of light rise up around you as
+you begin to shave.
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+MATT: Maybe it’s the tensile strength of her arm
+muscles, but such a large instrument seems
+
+unexpectedly delicate across the features of your
+face. It’s not a complete shave, there are areas
+
+that get missed because it’s not a very fine
+implement, but for the most part, the stubble gets
+
+closer to your face. There are a few sections that
+are unevenly smooth, but it’s an improvement from
+
+where it was before. It’s as good a shave you can
+get with a greatsword. Manages to avoid nicking
+
+any major arteries, and as you complete your work,
+you’re proud of it, the sweat on your brow– Caleb
+
+has no idea of how it looks other than you
+reaching up and touching your chin as it finishes.
+
+The rest of you come to consciousness.
+
+LAURA: Are you killing Caleb?!
+
+ASHLEY: No, I was giving him a shave.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Whoa!
+
+MARISHA: Wow.
+
+SAM: It’s much better.
+
+LAURA: You have a little thing! You have a little
+dimple on your chin! That’s the cutest! I didn’t
+
+know.
+
+TRAVIS: So boyish.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you almost look innocent.
+
+SAM: It looks good!
+
+LIAM: Caleb’s inner monologue is: I want to
+shrivel up and die.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice work, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: You know, if anyone else– none of you–
+
+SAM: Or Jester might want a bikini.
+
+LAURA: Maybe soon, yeah.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I mean, I’ve done it before.
+
+TALIESIN: This I can confirm.
+
+LAURA: Should we gear up and head down and kill a
+bunch of fish people?
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed.
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+LIAM: I take a brief moment with the dodecahedron
+before handing the bag back to Jester.
+
+LAURA: So you don’t forget.
+
+LIAM: I’ll forget.
+
+TRAVIS: Take the rope, we start lowering it down
+there.
+
+LAURA: Stealthily.
+
+SAM: We’re going down there? Again?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we’re killing everything.
+
+TALIESIN: On the way down, I smack Caleb a bit on
+the back and say: Well done, she likes you! And
+
+head down.
+
+LAURA: Should I cast Pass without a Trace on us
+and be stealthier?
+
+TRAVIS: I think right before we go under the water
+we should.
+
+SAM: Under the water?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, this is an amphibious assault.
+
+SAM: How many v’s are in that word?
+
+ASHLEY: What did you say?
+
+TRAVIS: Like five.
+
+TALIESIN: Amvivious.
+
+TRAVIS: Amphibious. Yeah, there’s a sea “anenome”
+under there as well.
+
+SAM: I don’t do well with water. I don’t think I
+can go down there. Why don’t I stay watch?
+
+TRAVIS: Why aren’t you good in water?
+
+SAM: I don’t like water.
+
+TRAVIS: You can hold your breath, right?
+
+SAM: Probably.
+
+LAURA: What if I hold onto you and push you
+along?
+
+TALIESIN: Are you going to be all right with Caleb
+going without you?
+
+MARISHA: Remember our swimming lesson?
+
+SAM: I don’t like it, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Listen, when we get down there, I’m going
+to swim a rope under the water to where we’re
+
+going. It’s going to be like a guide line, so
+whoever you ride with can pull on the rope and
+
+you’ll just hang on.
+
+LIAM: It’s a bad idea for you to stay. We would
+need you.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: Oh Kiri.
+
+MATT: Pulls the knife out. (like Fjord) “It’s an
+amphibious assault.”
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck you, Kiri.
+
+SAM: Taking the piss.
+
+LAURA: Where should we leave Kiri for this? We
+can’t bring her over with us.
+
+SAM: I’ll stay with Kiri. You guys can go, and I
+can stay with Kiri.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t like that idea.
+
+LAURA: We need you, Nott.
+
+SAM: I’m not good at many things.
+
+LAURA: Yeah you are! You can shoot things. And you
+can sneak around.
+
+LIAM: You’re not very good at finding traps, but
+everything else you’re quite good at.
+
+ASHLEY: Then what are we going to do with Kiri?
+
+MARISHA: She can’t go with us.
+
+TRAVIS: No, she can’t. We could leave her in here
+with you if you want, but if you see trouble
+
+you’re going to have to get in that water and come
+across.
+
+SAM: (groans)
+
+TRAVIS: Yep.
+
+SAM: (groans)
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. One or the other.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Yes, I’m very sweet.”
+
+SAM: I’ll stay with Kiri, and if there’s trouble,
+we’ll see what happens.
+
+LAURA: Kiri, you stay here with Nott, then, okay?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re going to be one down, then.
+
+TRAVIS: All right, I’ll take the other 50-foot
+section of rope and I’ll start wading into the
+
+water, and I’ll take a swim back the way I went.
+
+LAURA: Wait, wait! Pass Without a Trace.
+
+TRAVIS: (high-pitched sound)
+
+MATT: All right, so Pass Without a Trace.
+
+LAURA: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that the sound of Pass Without a
+Trace?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like Aqua Velva.
+
+TALIESIN: Like Ed Wynn getting tickled.
+
+MATT: It’s true.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my!
+
+MATT: Pass Without a Trace. What’s the range on
+that?
+
+LAURA: 30 feet. So it’s not going to to be for a
+very long time. But–
+
+TRAVIS: What do you mean?
+
+LAURA: Well it’s only 30 feet in front of– around
+me.
+
+MATT: So you may want to go next.
+
+LAURA: You’ll go away– huh?
+
+MATT: You may want to go next then if you want
+that to affect other people.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t worry about me. I’m just swimming
+over there and coming back. And then we can cast it.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a guideline.
+
+MATT: You, for the moment, wade into it and
+(burbling). You guys watch as Fjord, once again,
+
+disappears beneath the surface of the water. Now
+with the confidence of knowing that there is a
+
+breaking point and air ahead, that fear doesn’t
+creep up into your brain and you rush for it.
+
+Making your way through, make an athletics check.
+
+TRAVIS: 12.
+
+MATT: 12, okay. You manage to find it through, and
+then come up quietly, just–
+
+TRAVIS: Apocalypse Now.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Apocalypse Now and/or The Descent. You
+slowly emerge from the water.
+
+LAURA: Ugh, The Descent. Now it makes me want to
+swim through that little tunnel even less!
+
+MATT: Yeah!
+
+MARISHA: So Descent-y, you guys!
+
+MATT: Glancing up, your range of darkvision is 30
+feet or 60 feet?
+
+TRAVIS: 60 feet.
+
+MATT: 60 feet, okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Where is that? Class features–
+
+MATT: Racial features, it should say.
+
+TRAVIS: Racial traits. Darkvision. 60 feet.
+
+MATT: 60 feet, great. That gives you enough
+perspective for now as you come up and look. You
+
+can see this chamber, and you got a brief glance
+at it before. Most of it is natural rock, but
+
+there are elements of it that look like it was
+once an old bit of mason architecture. You can see
+
+edges where there are actual stones stacked and
+placed. Walls that have seemingly been partially
+
+reclaimed through the ages. You can see two large
+central pillars where stalagmite and stalactite
+
+met eventually and created a structure in the
+center. A large portion of the floor is submerged
+
+in water, and you see different paths and avenues
+of it that curve off and vanish. Probably openings
+
+to other tunnels beneath. The pool you’re in right
+there, looking up you can see there’s that weird
+
+set of natural stairs that step up in front. You
+can see four of these merrow creatures, two of
+
+which are in a conversation off to the left, two
+that are currently rummaging through what looks to
+
+be piles of things that have been pulled up and
+placed toward the top of the stair. You can hear the
+
+clinking of metal and things falling and tumbling
+down the stairs. You see a fifth figure that’s at
+
+the outskirts of your visual range that’s
+currently faced away and looking at whatever’s on
+
+the other side of that upward pillar. But nobody
+else seems to have noticed you emerging at this
+
+point. You haven’t made any shifting or movement.
+
+TRAVIS: Do they have an eyeline on me if they
+were to look over this way? Could they see my head
+
+above the water?
+
+MATT: It’s possible if they were looking carefully
+for you. You don’t know how far their darkvision
+
+extends.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I wade forward and look for any stones
+or pillars that I might be able to throw the rope
+
+around and tie a knot on?
+
+MATT: Looking around you can see there are small
+mounds of various minerals that have long dripped
+
+from the ceiling from condensation and various
+water flows that have come through this interior
+
+cavern and built this hard, rocky platform that’s
+emerging just outside of where the pool ends. So
+
+you can bring the rope around and affix it to
+that. Make a stealth check as you do so, please.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a two.
+
+SAM: Pass Without a Trace.
+
+LAURA: Well no. He didn’t take it. More than 30
+feet away from me, right? He’s more than 30 feet
+
+away from me.
+
+MATT: He is, yes.
+
+LAURA: I should have given him Blessing of the
+Trickster. Oh no!
+
+TRAVIS: Yep! That’s amazing.
+
+MATT: That’s a natural one. You lucky son of a
+bitch! Through whatever grace your patron has
+
+granted upon you–
+
+TRAVIS: I’m in the water, man.
+
+MATT: The merrow are too distracted with whatever
+they are in the process of doing to notice you
+
+slip and hit an elbow, send a pebble falling. You
+get low and finish tying it off. They don’t notice.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, great. I’ll give it a gentle tug. Does
+it seem like the structure moves at all?
+
+MATT: No. It seems pretty solid.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take a deep breath and I’ll use it to
+pull myself chest up towards the surface.
+
+MATT: Easy enough. So after a few moments, Fjord
+emerges back where you guys are waiting.
+
+LAURA: Hey, you made it!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Still five of them. I tied it off.
+Everybody should be able to pull their way across
+
+no problem. But we got to be ready to rock when we
+get in there. They’re a little distracted.
+
+MARISHA: Are we going to try and wait in the water
+and ambush as we go?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Or distract away from us and then go.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Or if we want we could cause a commotion
+and have them come through the water at us and use
+
+the hole as a funnel.
+
+MARISHA: As a funnel? Might not be a bad idea.
+
+TRAVIS: Thoughts?
+
+LAURA: That might be smarter, and then you could
+fight with us, Nott, for a while at least.
+
+SAM: I mean, I don’t like fighting, but sure.
+
+LAURA: You’re so good at it, Nott!
+
+ASHLEY: Someone’s going to have to go make a
+distraction and then make it back.
+
+MARISHA: And I bet those things are pretty good
+swimmers.
+
+TALIESIN: Super fast in the water. I bet they’re
+really fast in the water.
+
+SAM: We could tie the rope– oh, we can’t tie the
+rope to you, because now it’s tied on the other side.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a very fast swimmer.
+
+MARISHA: But faster than fish?
+
+TRAVIS: I think it’s 60 feet, actually, is my
+swimming speed with this damn Mariner’s armor.
+
+Ignore what I said.
+
+LAURA: Your regular swimming speed.
+
+TRAVIS: Regular speed, yeah.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Your swim speed is half your movement.
+
+TRAVIS: Well then yeah, it’s 30 feet.
+
+MATT: 15 feet.
+
+TRAVIS: Well with it, it’s my normal walking
+speed.
+
+MATT: Oh right, with that it is, yes.
+
+SAM: So you’re a fast swimmer.
+
+LAURA: So yeah, that’s pretty good.
+
+TALIESIN: But probably not as fast as they are.
+
+TRAVIS: Nah, could I guesstimate how far it was
+from entrance to portal? Where the rope is?
+
+MATT: From where you are to the– make a survival
+check.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. Best you could estimate, it’s close to
+40 or so feet.
+
+LIAM: How long has he been gone for?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m back.
+
+MATT: He’s back.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you’re in here talking about what was
+there.
+
+LAURA: What if we just made a lot of noise in
+here?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m of the opinion that the problem with
+this bottleneck is we don’t know what they are
+
+doing on the other side. It would be easier to
+assess what’s coming and make sure that they
+
+can’t– if we take care of everything there, then
+we can assess what’s there and they can’t prepare
+
+or get more together. Have time to–
+
+TRAVIS: So you want to head over there?
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like over there is the way to
+go.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. I see the validity in that
+argument.
+
+LAURA: I’ll get in the water.
+
+TRAVIS: Pass Without a Trace first?
+
+LAURA: Well yeah!
+
+TRAVIS: Okay!
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll stay together in a group.
+
+LAURA: How long did you have to hold your breath
+for, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know. About 45, 50 seconds.
+
+LAURA: Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Pass Without a
+Trace.
+
+MATT: Coming back on the rope, it’s a lot easier.
+Your first dive down took a while to feel your way through.
+
+LIAM: I was distracted. I was thinking about my
+books. I don’t want them to get harmed. Your bag
+
+is probably water resistant, yeah?
+
+LAURA: I don’t know, but we can try it. Give me
+your books, Caleb. Give me the books.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want to leave them with Nott?
+
+LIAM: I do want to leave them with Nott. I’m going
+to unharness the–
+
+SAM: Can you still cast spells?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll leave my coat here. I’m not
+dragging that into the water.
+
+LIAM: If you come after us, would you please hide
+them under a stone or something?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: How many books you got there?
+
+LIAM: Two.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a very nice sling thing. It’d be
+a shame if anything happened to it. Are you sure
+
+you’re not coming?
+
+SAM: My duty is to take care of Kiri. Right?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+TRAVIS: Shall we, Pass Without a Trace?
+
+LAURA: I did it already!
+
+TRAVIS: Shit balls ass! Let’s do it.
+
+LAURA: Lasts for an hour, though, so it’s okay.
+
+MATT: Kiri leans into you. “This means we are
+friends.”
+
+LAURA: She heard!
+
+MATT: She woke up early.
+
+SAM: Sounds like Caleb. Wow.
+
+ASHLEY: Wait, that was– okay.
+
+MARISHA: She’s going to rattle off some secrets.
+
+TRAVIS: Kiri’s got to die. Thousands of artists
+are like (gasping).
+
+LAURA: Who’s first? Are you going back through
+first?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll go first.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’ll go second. People should follow
+quickly behind me because you’ve got to stay
+
+within 30 feet of me.
+
+TALIESIN: One quick attack, or do we try and take
+them out quietly? I assume– well, we’ll take a
+
+look at what it is.
+
+TRAVIS: Distract and attack.
+
+LAURA: So we’re doing the distract? But then they
+know somebody’s there! If we just come out of the
+
+water and attack, we get a sneak attack.
+
+TRAVIS: If they don’t see us.
+
+TALIESIN: If they don’t see us, then we get the
+sneak attack. And if they do–
+
+LAURA: Just go for it!
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see what we see.
+
+TRAVIS: As I go in the water, I’m going to go about
+halfway and then stop and tread and make sure that
+
+everybody gets along the rope fine.
+
+MATT: Okay, all right. You’re casting Pass Without
+a Trace first? All right. You finish casting the
+
+spell. The shadows, already super dark in here
+with almost no light source beyond what Caleb’s
+
+providing, they coalesce around you and the rest
+of the members of the team as you all dive into
+
+the pool of water. It’s black.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, Blessing of the Trickster on the way
+through.
+
+MATT: To Caleb? Okay. Blessing of the Trickster on
+you, that’s advantage on your stealth checks.
+
+I need everybody, including Fjord, to roll a
+stealth check, please. Plus ten to your stealth score.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: They rolled really high.
+
+TALIESIN: 16.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank god for that Pass Without a Trace. 19.
+
+MARISHA: 37.
+
+SAM: Jesus!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, girl! Yeah!
+
+MATT: That’s some Vax numbers right there!
+
+LIAM: Zweiundzwanzig. 22.
+
+LAURA: Oh, 16. Oh, no! 18!
+
+TALIESIN and ASHLEY: 16.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. That’s good, Ashley.
+
+MARISHA: I am one with the water.
+
+MATT: You guys all quickly emerge from the water
+below, your eyes focusing. There is no light
+
+source in this chamber. So for those of you– you
+have your darkvision on. You guys all have
+
+darkvision, I am pretty sure, except for you,
+Caleb. So you’re relying on the rest of them to
+
+give any sort of presence–
+
+LIAM: Listening to their footfalls.
+
+MATT: Yeah, so.
+
+TALIESIN: I am so excited.
+
+LIAM: So pretty!
+
+LAURA: Wow! Where are we?
+
+ASHLEY: Wow wowie wow!
+
+SAM: What is happening? Why is there a remote
+control?
+
+LAURA: Oh, he’s putting water effects on it! Shut
+up!
+
+SAM: Ooh, it just got blue!
+
+LAURA: Oh my gosh!
+
+MATT: I would need you guys to place yourselves
+amongst this pool.
+
+MARISHA: There it goes!
+
+LIAM: Here comes the smoke!
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, we got smoke!
+
+LAURA: We’ve never had smoke before!
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t think I’d enjoy this quite so
+soon.
+
+MATT: Kiri and Nott exist on the outskirts.
+
+ASHLEY: This is Dungeons & Dragons!
+
+MATT: As you guys glance up, the first thing you
+see is there is one merrow right there who’s
+
+currently talking and discussing with one right
+here.
+
+LIAM: This is wrong. This is right.
+
+MATT: Place yourselves where you want to be.
+
+LIAM: That’s still wrong, that’s right.
+
+MATT: There’s one at the base of this, right
+there. Up at the top, facing away, is the one that
+
+you had seen at the top of the stairs, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s the one that was distracted.
+
+MATT: As you guys all emerge headfirst from the
+water, everybody gets a surprise round except for
+
+Yasha and Molly, unfortunately. You two did not
+roll high enough to beat the stealth.
+
+TRAVIS: They rolled really high.
+
+MATT: They rolled pretty high. Everyone roll
+initiative, but you guys will be out of this round.
+
+LIAM: Don’t fuck me, Colville. You fucked me,
+Colville.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we want to try and do a clockwise
+attack? Knock them out as we go?
+
+LAURA: Should we try to do a distraction?
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+ASHLEY: 21.
+
+TRAVIS: Yo, what’s up?
+
+ASHLEY: Might be a first.
+
+MATT: I know. 20 to 15?
+
+TRAVIS: 20 to 15?
+
+LAURA: Oh Jesus.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh fuck. Oh shit.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA: 12.
+
+TRAVIS: What? Oh my god, you guys.
+
+SAM: Oh no. Single digits and 21.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s a first.
+
+MATT: Ten to five?
+
+TALIESIN: Seven.
+
+LAURA: Eight.
+
+LIAM: Sechs.
+
+MATT: Okay, hold on.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester.
+
+TALIESIN: Molly, Caleb.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, Molly.
+
+SAM: What about you, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a big fat three.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+LAURA: Oh my lord.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re not engaging? Just for the sake
+of it.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+MATT: Wow, guys.
+
+SAM: I have a plus four to initiative, so I guess
+that’s five.
+
+MATT: That’s still better than Fjord.
+
+SAM: My natural one beats yours.
+
+MATT: You all emerge from it. Yasha, you would be
+first, but your stealth, you did not surprise the
+
+individuals from this round point. He doesn’t
+notice you guys, that’s a seven. Beau, you’re up first.
+
+MARISHA: Wow, okay. Beau’s up first. Are we just
+going to go for these guys? We’re not going to do
+
+some sort of distraction?
+
+TRAVIS: We got the surprise round, so it’s fine.
+This is the surprise round.
+
+MATT: Now that you’re getting a better view of
+this, you can see a low mist is pouring down the
+
+stairs and is filling the space around them.
+
+MARISHA: This is all water, I’m assuming, in the
+middle?
+
+MATT: All of this is water, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, good. It’s acid.
+
+MARISHA: Can I move? I’m going to go for this
+guy.
+
+MATT: (counting) Easy enough. You get right to
+him.
+
+MARISHA: Is there a way I can jump across and try
+and fight him from over here? Do I have enough?
+
+MATT: You’ll splash in the water. You won’t make
+it all the way to the opposite side, or you may,
+
+but he’ll get an attack of opportunity on you as
+you dart out of his melee range.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, no. I’m going to try and do some
+KGB-level shit. I’m going to do a quick kidney
+
+punch and try and go for the temple.
+
+LIAM: Krav Maga!
+
+SAM: And influence the election.
+
+MATT: Actually, if you wanted to jump across, I
+will say because he’s surprised, and he isn’t
+
+aware that you’re there quite yet, if you want to
+leap across, make an acrobatics check, if you
+
+still wanted to try and do so. You will land in
+the water. You’ll be about waist-high in the
+
+water, if not more.
+
+MARISHA: No, I’ll be good. This is regular
+attacks, right?
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: First attack. That was good. 20?
+
+MATT: 20 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Second attack. That’s garbage, that’s an
+eight.
+
+MATT: First one hits.
+
+MARISHA: Eight damage. I’m going to spend a ki and
+do Flurry of Blows. Two unarmed strikes. Natural one.
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+TRAVIS: Man, that thing does not make up its
+mind.
+
+MARISHA: No, it does not. 24.
+
+MATT: 24 hits. Roll damage for that fourth
+attack.
+
+MARISHA: Four damage. Wait, I rolled the wrong
+one. That’s much better. Ten damage. I’m going to
+
+spend another ki point and do Stunning Strike. Jab
+to the ribs.
+
+MATT: Natural 17. It resists the stun, I’m sorry.
+But it’s doing damage to it. As you slam into it
+
+again, turns around. It looks like it’s surprised
+and reeling from the impact of it.
+
+MARISHA: You were supposed to go to sleep.
+
+MATT: Gills flaring angrily towards your face.
+Some spittle flies out of its growling mouth. That
+
+finishes your turn, Beau?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It’ll be awesome when that Stunning
+Strike works.
+
+MATT: Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Spiritual Weapon right
+next to that one that Beau’s fighting.
+
+MATT: Right here, or this side?
+
+LAURA: No, in between the two of them. Yeah, right
+there.
+
+MATT: Floating in the air.
+
+LAURA: At level three.
+
+MATT: Oh snap, all right. Go make your attack
+roll.
+
+LAURA: It’s extra big, that’s right. It’s got more
+sparkle to it. It’s got more sparkly bits.
+
+TALIESIN: Marshmallow in the center.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to try to attack the one that
+Beau is attacking
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god.
+
+LAURA: That was on 20–
+
+TALIESIN: And then it was like: nope!
+
+LAURA: That is not going to hit.
+
+MATT: Nope, swings wide. However, it has apparated
+and is useful in future rounds.
+
+LAURA: He already took some damage, so I’m going
+to Toll the Dead on him for my action.
+
+MATT: That is a natural three.
+
+LAURA: He gets hit.
+
+SAM: Tolled.
+
+LAURA, TRAVIS, and MARISHA: He got Tolled.
+
+LAURA: Jesus H. Macy. Seven points of necrotic
+damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of necrotic damage to him, got
+it.
+
+SAM: That’s pretty good.
+
+MATT: Not too bad. That finish your turn, Jester?
+You’re going to stay where you are?
+
+LAURA: Yes. I’m going to get out of the water, and
+I’m going to go stand next to that thing that’s
+
+coming out of the ground. Yeah, that thing.
+
+SAM: The booby-looking thing.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, the booby. The big pile of
+poo-looking thing.
+
+MATT: That finishes your go. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Quick question: From the fish guy up at the
+top there, if that was the corner of a cube, would
+
+it reach the one down by the lollipop?
+
+MATT: How big is the cube?
+
+LIAM: 40-foot cube, excuse me, sorry. That’s
+probably not big enough. That’s too big, right?
+
+It’s too far?
+
+MARISHA: 40 feet’s huge.
+
+MATT: Wait, you mean from you?
+
+LIAM: If I were to hit the fish guy at the top and
+make that the corner of a cube and go this way, it
+
+would probably only get two of them, right?
+
+MATT: Possibly.
+
+LIAM: Forget it. I’m going to cast Haste on
+Mollymauk.
+
+LAURA: Would I have had enough movement to get
+behind the big poo pile?
+
+MATT: You would.
+
+LIAM: I can’t see. It’s dark, I’m blind. It’s the
+safer bet, to aid my friend on the next turn.
+
+MATT: For you, Molly. That’s to signify your
+Haste. Keep that in mind.
+
+LIAM: You have just been Hasted, and I am going to
+move along the wall this way away from the enemies
+
+that I think I can detect.
+
+MATT: You’re still in the water, thrashing, trying
+to make your way to the edge. Molly, you’re up,
+
+but you lose this round, because you were not part
+of the surprise. You were lagging a little behind,
+
+as Yasha– best way I can do this quickly, because
+they’re losing their turn as well. That brings us
+
+to– Nott isn’t even paying attention. Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep. I’ll make my way towards the two on
+the left side, as far as my–
+
+MATT: On the edge there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Oh damn, that’s as far as I can get,
+huh?
+
+MATT: No, you can go into the water if you want to
+go further. You want to get up to him?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, melee range.
+
+MATT: You can get melee range. You’re in the
+water, and you’re swimming in the water, but
+
+because of your armor, it doesn’t reduce your
+attacks, so you’re not taking disadvantage on your
+
+attack rolls.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. I will use Booming Blade in a melee
+strike with the Wastehunter falchion against that
+
+fishy fuck.
+
+MATT: Fjord, take your one attack.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: 14 hits.
+
+TRAVIS: It does? Oh my god, thank you. 1d8,
+because I didn’t say two-handed. That’s 12 points
+
+of damage, plus because it’s a monstrosity?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+TRAVIS: 12 points of damage plus four. That is a
+four. 18 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 18 points of damage on that guy.
+
+TRAVIS: With Booming Blade–
+
+MATT: If he moves at all, on his next turn, he
+takes an additional 2d8. Good to know.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes sir. With my bonus action, I will Hex
+this guy over here.
+
+MATT: This guy there?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes sir.
+
+MATT: He’s been Hexed. Does that finish your
+turn?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, it does.
+
+MATT: As you pull back, the energy sparks around,
+and there’s this weird movement in the water like
+
+it’s thrashing, the booming energy keeping that
+one merrow locked in place, as the other one, the
+
+Hex coalesces around its chest and holds it.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll give him disadvantage on wisdom.
+
+MATT: Wisdom checks, got it. That ends top of the
+round. Now Yasha, you can take your turn. The
+
+ambush round is over.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to mosey on up over next to
+Beau, and I would like to rage.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+LIAM and ASHLEY: (air horn blaring)
+
+LIAM: From the cavern behind us: (muffled air horn
+noises)
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to pull out my blade and–
+
+SAM: Take the stubble off of it?
+
+ASHLEY: Take an attack. Give it a nice shave. That
+is 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits.
+
+SAM: Come on, Yasha! Come on, Yasha, plan ahead!
+
+ASHLEY: Listen, I know, I’m sorry. Where’s the
+ones that I really like? There it is. (counting) 19.
+
+MATT: Nice. You rush up next to Beau, cleave down
+with the blade. It carves through part of its
+
+torso and it retracts and tries to pull itself
+lower in the water to make itself harder to hit.
+
+What are you going to do? You have a second
+attack, right?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I have a second attack.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s not going to hit. Eight.
+
+MATT: Eight misses, unfortunately. Next one
+swings, and a miss. Now the merrow all go
+
+together, because you guys left a big old gap of
+initiative there.
+
+LAURA: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s after Yasha, right?
+
+MATT: Correct. First part, I’m going to say–
+Let’s make it fun.
+
+SAM: Yes, let’s.
+
+MATT: This guy here is going to take his trident
+and chuck it right towards Beau.
+
+TRAVIS: Are these free tridents, or do they also
+have that cord that’s attached to them?
+
+MARISHA: Like the harpoons?
+
+MATT: They have the cords still attached. That’s a
+17 to hit.
+
+MARISHA: 17 is my armor class.
+
+MATT: There you go. With that to there, first off,
+Beau. As it strikes you in the chest, you take ten
+
+points of piercing damage, and I need you to make
+a strength check for me, please.
+
+MARISHA: So good at this. Just a straight check,
+or a saving throw?
+
+MATT: A strength check.
+
+MARISHA: 19– sorry, ten. It looked like a 19
+upside down.
+
+MATT: It was a 14. You get pulled through right
+next to it there, in the middle of the water. As
+
+you fall to the ground, it’s going to attempt to
+bite at you. Since you’re in the water, outside of
+
+your terrain, I will give it advantage on the
+strike, because you’re now thrashing water and
+
+swimming, and it’s in its own terrain. That’ll be
+18 to hit. With the bite on you there, you take an
+
+additional eight points of piercing damage. At
+that moment, this one here is going to turn around
+
+onto Fjord, and is going to shift this way and
+unleash both bite and claw attack against you,
+
+Fjord. 17 to hit?
+
+TRAVIS: That hits; it’s my armor class.
+
+MATT: For that claw attack, it’s going to be 2d4.
+Seven points of piercing damage against you, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+SAM: Did you guys scan the area for Despacito
+beasts?
+
+TRAVIS: Seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: It’s going to pull back after it finishes
+clawing into you. It’s going to try and bite down
+
+with its jaws. That’s a 19 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: You take another seven points of piercing
+damage. The one behind there, who sees its friend
+
+digging into Fjord’s torso and body, watches as it
+finishes its round of strikes and then
+
+under-handed throws its harpoon towards him.
+That’s another 18 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: With that, you take ten points of piercing
+damage. I need you to make a strength check. As it
+
+pierces, you grab it, and it manages to careen
+into the side of your hip, and it hits bone. You
+
+feel it grind against the inside with the pain.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a 17.
+
+MATT: You beat it. Rolled a 15. So you do not get
+pulled. It does not give him his follow-up attack.
+
+However, he’s going to move forward to get his
+follow-up attack anyway with the rest of his
+
+movement, and is going to attempt to bite you, and
+is going to miss. That’s a nine.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+MATT: He goes to bite and as you pull the harpoon
+out, and turn back your shield you bash the side
+
+of its face and it manages to pull back. It scrapes
+across its fish-like face, but no impact or
+
+damage. All right, that’s going to finish his go.
+The one that is right next to you, Yasha, is going
+
+to shift around, not leaving combat with you, but
+going behind the pillar to give itself some cover
+
+from anybody who’s out in the vicinity. It’s going
+to attempt to make two strikes against you.
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t– I need to make Hex checks.
+
+MATT: Yes, you do.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, how many of them? Three?
+
+MATT: Three.
+
+SAM: Ooh!
+
+TRAVIS: At advantage because War Caster, right?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: Roll higher than a ten.
+
+TRAVIS: What is that, constitution?
+
+MATT: Constitution saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay. That’s a 15. Did 15 work?
+
+MATT: 15 works.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice. Higher than a ten, sorry. That’s a
+natural 19, that’ll do it. And 13– that’s an 18.
+
+All three save.
+
+MATT: All righty, that’s good on your end. For
+you, Yasha, you didn’t use Reckless last turn, right?
+
+ASHLEY: No.
+
+MATT: That’s a natural 20 on that first strike
+with the claws at you. That is going to be 14
+
+points of piercing damage, reduced to half so you
+only take seven because you’re raging. And the
+
+bite attack against you is a natural two plus six.
+No, that misses you with an eight. However, that
+
+finishes their round and this guy up here who now
+spins around and sees the rest of you come inside
+
+begins shouting out in a language you don’t
+understand (snarling). As it’s holding up this
+
+staff that has this almost crystal spike of
+natural crystal at the end of it, it begins to
+
+chant something under its breath. And as it spins
+its hand in the air, you watch as the ceiling
+
+above you in this chamber begins to grow into this
+low cloud that spirals out, encompassing the
+
+entirety of the interior of the chamber.
+
+LAURA: Run away!
+
+MATT: You see little sparks of lightning arcing
+through the cloud as it spools above.
+
+MARISHA: Motherfucking druid fish.
+
+MATT: Beau, I need you to make a dexterity saving
+throw, since you’re the one closest to it.
+
+MARISHA: Saving throw.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+MARISHA: That’s a natural one.
+
+MATT: You suffer 16 points of lightning damage as
+you get struck by lightning in the water. Which
+
+you watch as technically now, yeah, if any of you
+are in the water when the lightning hits you, you
+
+have disadvantage on your saving throw because you
+are in the water. Didn’t matter this time because
+
+you failed anyway, but you watch as the bolt
+strikes Beau and she starts thrashing in the water
+
+as the muscles tense. There’s a giant burn mark on
+the side of your head.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, you guys! Oh, fuck.
+
+MATT: Looking pretty rough on that one.
+
+MARISHA: I just got fucked up.
+
+MATT: And it’s going to go ahead and spin itself
+over to the edge this way, using the one below.
+
+Getting itself between the rest of its merrow
+compatriots and you guys. That finishes their
+
+turn; Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Ah! Okay, I’m going to take the one who’s
+got a trident jabbed into my shoulder. I’m going
+
+to grab the chain and I’m going to yank it towards
+me as I deck him in the face twice.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: The first attack–
+
+MATT: If you want to move around to get onto land,
+otherwise you’re going to be having a hard time in
+
+the water here attacking them because you’re
+constantly swimming.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do that?
+
+MATT: You still have movement, yeah. So you can
+move five, ten, 15, 20, 25 there. So you manage to
+
+whip around, get out, up onto land and not end up
+with a disadvantage on your attacks.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, the first one is 15?
+
+MATT: 15 does hit, yes.
+
+MARISHA: Woohoo! Okay, second attack; not as good,
+12.
+
+MATT: 12 does not hit, unfortunately. But the
+first strike, as you pull up, cracks it right in
+
+the jaw. The next one, it manages to bash your arm
+out of the way and it deflects off the side– no impact.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, that’s seven damage.
+
+MATT: All righty, the first strike.
+
+MARISHA: And then I am going to take my bonus and
+spend a ki point to do Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: Okay, so as you get up on land, you focus
+and looking around side-to-side, make sure that
+
+you’re aware of everything around you and get
+ready to defend and deflect.
+
+MARISHA: A little in shock. (pants) Ah!
+
+MATT: Okay, that finishes Beau’s turn. Jester,
+you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to use Spiritual Weapon
+that I have up and try to hit that thing.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and roll the attack for that guy.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, that hits, that’s a good one.
+
+MATT: Okay, all right, what was the number?
+
+LAURA: 15 plus my attack.
+
+MATT: 15 is its armor class, so yeah, that’s
+fine. Well, 13 actually, so that definitely hits.
+
+LAURA: And then 2d8– seven points of force damage
+to him.
+
+MATT: Seven points plus your wisdom modifier.
+
+LAURA: Oh, plus four, so 11!
+
+MATT: There you go. 11 points of damage to him.
+All right, how do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: Oh man, that feels good. I haven’t got that
+in a long time! I’m going to use the giant
+
+lollipop and it’s going to raise really high up on
+the roof and then slam down onto it as hard as it can!
+
+MATT: Yasha, as you’re engaged with it, both
+growling at each other, you watch as suddenly its
+
+body crumples into the stonework.
+
+ASHLEY: I scream out, yeah, Jester!
+
+MATT: It slips into the water and vanishes beneath
+the waves.
+
+ASHLEY: I flip it off.
+
+MATT: So that’s your bonus action. You still have
+your movement and action.
+
+LAURA: I’m also going to move it closer to the one
+next to Beau.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LAURA: And then I’m going to cast Cure Wounds at–
+Should I do that? Or should I do Toll the Dead on him?
+
+MATT: Cure Wounds is touch, so you have to be
+right next to him.
+
+LAURA: Just kidding! I’m going to Toll the Dead on
+the one that Beau’s fighting.
+
+MATT: Okay, what’s the range on that?
+
+LAURA: Okay, hold on.
+
+TALIESIN and SAM: That’s a lot of spells.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, well, you know.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up next so be ready.
+
+LIAM: What’s the lighting like in here?
+
+MATT: Right now? None, there is no light.
+
+LAURA: 60 feet.
+
+MATT: 60 feet? All right, yeah, so you can do it
+from there if you want.
+
+LAURA: Okay, cool. It’s a wisdom save and he’s
+Hexed on wisdom.
+
+MATT: Natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS and LAURA: Disadvantage?
+
+MATT: No, that’s disadvantage on wisdom checks,
+not wisdom saving throws. Hex doesn’t affect
+
+saving throws.
+
+TRAVIS: I am sorry. I did not understand that
+part.
+
+MATT: Yeah, but, for instance, if you had said
+strength checks, then every time it tries to pull
+
+somebody, it would have disadvantage on that.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that would have been better, then, huh?
+
+TRAVIS: The lesson in the lesson.
+
+MATT: But now you know, going forward with Hex.
+
+SAM: If we survive this.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, fuck me sideways.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel your pain.
+
+LAURA: Yay, that’s pretty much all I can do.
+
+MATT: Going to stay where you are?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right, that finishes Jester’s turn.
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I cannot see anything. I’m going to move
+towards the sound of Jester shouting in the dark
+
+and I’m going to raise up the Glove of Blasting
+and try to shoot the fish-man that I heard way up
+
+high ahead of me, up the hill. They’ll all be at
+disadvantage.
+
+MATT: The one that’s attacking Beau, or the one at
+the very top?
+
+LIAM: The one with the staff at the top.
+
+MATT: All right, go for it. Disadvantage on all
+the attacks.
+
+TRAVIS: We get like, little strobes from the
+lightning. It’s like that opening sequence in Blade.
+
+LIAM: First one’s 15.
+
+MATT: 15 just barely hits.
+
+LIAM: Second one is 14.
+
+MATT: 14 misses.
+
+LIAM: And then that is also 14, so just one of
+them hits.
+
+MATT: So, one of them hits. The two other ones
+careen off and you watch as they streak out into
+
+the darkness past this merrow, what looks to be a
+priest-like entity up there that’s commanding the
+
+storm. Exploding on the rocks behind it, one
+hitting this piece of long-lingering temple-like
+
+interior. And one finally strikes it in the chest.
+Go ahead and roll damage on that one.
+
+LIAM: That is six points of fire damage.
+
+MATT: It does make a concentration check. Natural
+17 plus two. It does succeed in maintaining
+
+concentration.
+
+LIAM: Okay, that’s it.
+
+MATT: That’s your turn. Caleb’s done. Molly,
+you’re up.
+
+SAM: Yeah, Hasty.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to run, I’m going to use
+my bonus action to activate one of my swords.
+
+MATT: The other one? Or do you still have the one
+activated from before?
+
+TALIESIN: Technically, that would have still been
+activated, so shit, that’s right. Yeah, I’m going
+
+to use my bonus action to activate the other one,
+too. I’m going to see if I can make it to that
+
+little hill over there.
+
+MATT: Which one? Here?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to attack the one that’s right
+in front of Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Double speed.
+
+MATT: Okay, that will put you right there. So you
+rush up to the edge there. You used your bonus
+
+action, you have your two attacks and your hasted
+attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, so I’m going to do two attacks plus
+a hasted attack. That’s 17. That hits, one does
+
+not, and then my third attack is a 16 that also
+hits.
+
+MATT: So two attacks. Go ahead and roll damage on
+that.
+
+SAM: Wow!
+
+TALIESIN: That’s eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Eight points of damage, nice.
+
+TALIESIN: And nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: All righty. You’re using the d6’s for
+your–
+
+TALIESIN: I am using the d6’s.
+
+MATT: Cool, so as you rush up, you swing the
+scimitars in this blast of speed. Two of them
+
+manage to strike true to its body, cutting out a
+piece of it. It’s looking pretty hurt now,
+
+starting to bleed out where the wounds are hit.
+But it’s growling in your face as it spins around.
+
+Its fins curl up from the side and you can smell
+this awful, swampy, almost sulfurous smell from
+
+its breath in your face. Is that your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: That’s the end of my turn.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Two attacks?
+
+TALIESIN: That was three attacks, one missed.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+MATT: All right, that brings us to Nott, who is
+waiting patiently with Kiri.
+
+SAM: I’ll send a Message to Caleb. Are you guys
+alive and do you need anything? You can reply to
+
+this message.
+
+LIAM: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
+fuck!
+
+SAM: Uh-oh.
+
+MATT: Is that your turn?
+
+SAM: That’s it.
+
+LAURA: You didn’t move at all?
+
+SAM: I’m going to think about it.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: After getting so fucked up that last
+round– the scratch, the bite, and the trident in
+
+the gut– I’ll put both hands on the falchion and
+say, Do not see me, and I’ll cast Blink.
+
+MARISHA: (gasps)
+
+MATT: Okay!
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+MATT: And Blink is not concentration, correct?
+
+TRAVIS: It is not.
+
+MATT: Yes, all right. So with that, Fjord vanishes
+from the battlefield. We’ll use this as a spatial
+
+positioning device of where you were before.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s my turn.
+
+MATT: That ends Fjord’s turn. That brings it to
+the top of the round. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: Fjord vanished. You see two now turning
+their eyes towards Mollymauk who’s right there.
+
+There’s one across the way that’s currently
+barrelling on Beau and there’s the one at the top
+
+of the stairs right now that looks like it’s
+commanding a giant storm.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to go over to the one by Beau.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: So that’s five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 35. You’re
+in the water swimming, so your attacks are at
+
+disadvantage right now.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. All right.
+
+MATT: If you wanted to do Reckless, you could
+counteract that, but you’ll be taking–
+
+ASHLEY: Well, I had one natural 20, and then 18
+was my lowest.
+
+MATT: Wait, so that was disadvantage?
+
+TALIESIN: She rolled a natural 20 for her other
+roll.
+
+MATT: Got you, so the first attack was what?
+
+ASHLEY: 12 plus six.
+
+MATT: That hits. So your first attack hits. Go
+ahead and roll damage on that.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, same as last time. 19 points of
+damage.
+
+MATT: 19 points of damage, nice! All right, and
+you have your second attack, with disadvantage.
+
+ASHLEY: 15.
+
+MATT: 15 hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: Murder it.
+
+ASHLEY: 15 points of damage.
+
+MATT: This is– you only do five additional damage
+on this one. Right? So 15?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Damn, nice roll! As you, in the water,
+cleave out once with the blade in this giant
+
+splash arc of water from the middle of the pool in
+the center, it carves across the side of its back.
+
+(snarling) It turns around towards you right as
+you bring the second strike up into its abdomen.
+
+It pushes off the blade and it looks pretty hurt.
+It’s bleeding out of its wounds in the middle of
+
+its stomach and its back. That finishes your
+turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Do I have a– no, never mind, that’s not a
+bonus action. Never mind, sorry. Was going to try
+
+Healing Hands.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. It’s their turn. So, I
+will need you, first off, to make a dexterity
+
+saving throw. As you come up and carve into the
+back of it, the one on top hisses and directs its
+
+finger down towards you as a bolt of lightning
+arcs out of the–
+
+ASHLEY: Ten.
+
+TALIESIN: Wait, no, it’s a saving throw, right?
+
+MATT: Yeah, saving throw. Plus?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, it’s a dex saving throw? Never mind,
+sorry.
+
+MATT: That does not succeed. You’re in the water,
+so it would be disadvantage anyway.
+
+TALIESIN: That makes me sad.
+
+MATT: That is 25 points of lightning damage, which
+is not halved on you because the rage doesn’t
+
+affect it. It only affects slashing, piercing, and
+bludgeoning. So you’re blasted in the middle of
+
+the water. You sink for a moment as your muscles give
+out, your sword almost falls out of your grasp,
+
+and you manage to right yourself as you’re
+treading water here. Your feet can’t touch the
+
+bottom of this pool and your eyes go flashing
+white for a second, and for an instant, you see
+
+the face of Kord the Stormlord there from the
+vision your recently had. Then clarify and shake
+
+it out of your head and carry yourself back into
+place. That’s going to finish this guy who’s going
+
+to move around. He can only move ten feet so he
+goes five, ten. He’s going to stop right there.
+
+SAM: She got shocked so hard we saw parts of her
+dream.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: This guy right here is going to go ahead
+towards you, Beau, as you’re right there. He has
+
+disadvantage on the attacks against you, though.
+He’s going to go ahead and make its claw attack
+
+against you, with disadvantage. That’s cocked. You
+saved yourself from a natural 20 with that one.
+
+It’s a 16, which I believe misses, right?
+
+MARISHA: Misses. Just misses.
+
+MATT: So, as it claws toward you, you, being
+prepared for it, dart off to the side. It’s going
+
+to go ahead and take a bite at you.
+
+MARISHA: You have such big hands.
+
+MATT: With disadvantage, another natural 20
+averted! However, that does come to a 19, so I
+
+believe that does hit you.
+
+MARISHA: Ah!
+
+TRAVIS: Whoosh. Worcestershire sauce.
+
+MATT: That is 11 points of piercing damage as it
+bites down onto the front of your clavicle and face.
+
+MARISHA: I’m unconscious. Again.
+
+MATT: Beau falls to the ground. As she sinks from
+its jaw under the rock there, it spins around
+
+towards you, right in your face, its gills flaring
+up. That’s going to end its turn. The two over
+
+here, this one’s going to move there and they’re
+both going to flank Molly. They are both going to
+
+harpoon you– jam melee at the one on this side.
+First attack is going to be an 18 to hit.
+
+TALIESIN: That hits.
+
+MATT: What’s your armor class?
+
+TALIESIN: 17.
+
+MATT: Plus two because of the Haste.
+
+TALIESIN: That is with the plus two. I’m an AC of
+15. I am easy target.
+
+MATT: Oh, buddy. That does hit you. So the first
+harpoon strike against you– that’s eight plus
+
+four, 12 points of piercing damage. It jams you
+into the abdomen from that side. The other strike–
+
+TALIESIN: The other person, I’m casting Curse of
+the Eyeless on the second.
+
+MATT: This guy’s finishing his round. He’s
+attempting to bite you, that’s going to be a 15.
+
+TALIESIN: That does not hit.
+
+MATT: As he bites down towards you, this time as
+you pull the trident out you jam it up and it
+
+throws him off and clips him in the side of the
+chin, breaking off one of his teeth. At that
+
+moment, the guy behind you is going to swing in
+with his harpoon as well.
+
+TALIESIN: Curse of the Eyeless.
+
+MATT: Okay, reaction to that.
+
+TALIESIN: And I take my three points of damage.
+
+MATT: That’s cocked. So he has a regular strike on
+this one, so the attack with the harpoon is going
+
+to be a 21 to hit, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: With disadvantage?
+
+MATT: Well, he had advantage because he had you
+flanked, so it just made it a general roll.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, that hits.
+
+MATT: So that is going to be ten points of
+piercing damage as the other harpoon jams you in
+
+the back. As you’re arcing upward, it’s going to
+attempt to bite down at you, but its eyes have
+
+gone dark and it’s just biting wild in front,
+using the thrashing of your body to guide itself.
+
+That is going to be a natural seven plus six, 13.
+Misses. So it bites down, you manage to duck out
+
+of the way and slam the hilt of your scimitar up
+into its face and knock it off to the side. That’s
+
+going to end their go. That brings us to Beau. I
+need you to make a death saving throw, please.
+
+SAM: Were you saying the Curse of the Islands?
+
+TALIESIN: The Eyeless.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go cobalt blue. 17.
+
+MATT: That’s one success. Mark it on your tattoo.
+Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to use my action to Invoke
+Duplicity, and I’m going to make her appear
+
+standing right next to Yasha. But I can’t use my
+action to make her doing anything–
+
+MATT: It’s a 30-foot range, right? So it’d be
+right there.
+
+LAURA: Okay. And then I’m going to use my bonus
+action–
+
+MATT: She’s gliding on the water, tiptoe.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Healing Word at level two on Beau. I
+know that’s lame, but it’s something. Oh that’s
+
+good, that’s 11 points of healing.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) That’s amaze-balls!
+
+MATT: 11 points to Beau. You come back to
+consciousness on the ground, your body was just
+
+starting to roll and slip into the water. You
+catch one of the rocks and keep yourself from
+
+going back into the drink.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to try to still play dead.
+
+LAURA: That’s all I can do and my action, and I’m
+not going to move.
+
+MATT: Well, your action was to–
+
+LAURA: Invoke Duplicity.
+
+MATT: Right, that’s correct. That finishes your go
+there. Caleb, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Thanks, Jester!
+
+LIAM: Ja, how far can I get towards this one
+over there? Even if it means going in the water.
+
+MATT: Over here? You can get partway into the
+water.
+
+LIAM: Will I get within 30 feet of him?
+
+MATT: Possibly?
+
+LIAM: Well, show me how far–
+
+MATT: He’s here. That’s (counting) 30, so most
+likely.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to try it. I’m going to wade in.
+
+MATT: (counting) Just outside of 30 for the
+range.
+
+LAURA: Attack the one next to Beau. (coos)
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I was considering it, it’s just not what I
+wanted to do. I’m going to cast Dispel Magic on
+
+the storm above me.
+
+ALL: Ooh!
+
+MATT: Looking at that, I believe the level is
+level three or lower? It’s a 3rd-level spell. The
+
+storm immediately, with one final crackle, fades
+and dissipates above. The cavern above now just
+
+the empty, dark roof it was before, the storm no
+longer present.
+
+LIAM: Everybody hears (nervous laughter).
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s turn. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: I am yelling: Fjord! I am going to take
+a swing at the one that’s looking a little rough.
+
+I believe it’s that one, yeah. Oh my fucking god.
+11.
+
+MATT: 11 does not hit. You have three more attacks
+with your bonus action, if you want to.
+
+TALIESIN: 24.
+
+MATT: 24 hits. Roll damage on that.
+
+TALIESIN: Nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: Nine points of damage, all righty.
+
+TALIESIN: Still standing?
+
+MATT: Barely.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll swing again. 23.
+
+MATT: 23 hits.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten points of damage.
+
+MATT: That’ll do it, how do you want to do this?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m literally just a windmill at this
+point.
+
+MATT: A whirling dervish of blades as you carve
+through. You start biting through with the blades,
+
+carves one part of its chest, part of its arm,
+down on its chest, looks up and right
+
+through its face.
+
+TALIESIN: Then spinning around, I go right to face
+the other one and I’m going to take my last attack
+
+against it.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TALIESIN: Nope. I don’t even know why I’m
+bothering.
+
+LAURA: It’s okay, stick with the ones that were
+good for you. That one and the pink one.
+
+MATT: That finishes Molly’s turn. Nott.
+
+SAM: I hand the books to little Kiri and I say:
+Keep these safe.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Wrapped around his weenie?”
+
+SAM: Good idea. I’ll take a little bit of fleece
+and rip it and cast Silent Image, and make a wall
+
+of stone around Kiri. Just say: Don’t move.
+
+MATT: Okay. You cannot see Kiri, just vanishes
+amongst the visuals of the illusion.
+
+SAM: Go over to the water, put my foot in, and
+then–
+
+withdraw it, and take a big swig.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right, finishing Nott’s turn. Fjord.
+Where do you want to emerge?
+
+TRAVIS: I forgot to do the 2d8 of booming damage
+on the gentleman behind Molly. So that’s a big
+
+one, and three, so four points of booming damage.
+
+MATT: Well, technically that was the other guy.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh was it?
+
+MATT: Yeah. They shifted around.
+
+TRAVIS: Ah. They do-si-doed?
+
+MATT: They did.
+
+TRAVIS: Fair enough. Can I appear right next to
+this gentleman on his reverse? There you go. I
+
+will break my–
+
+MATT: If you’d like to– fucking stay! If you want
+to, you can appear up top there and get
+
+a flanking bonus.
+
+TRAVIS: That sounds dandy.
+
+MATT: You can use it against them, they can use it
+against you, as long as you are directly across
+
+from an enemy with an ally, you can give yourself
+flanking benefit.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. I will break my Hex, and I will use
+a Hexblade’s Curse as my bonus action
+
+on that gentleman.
+
+MATT: On this one? Okay. There you go.
+
+TRAVIS: I will make two attacks with the
+Wastehunter falchion against him with the
+
+monstrous–
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+TRAVIS: Flanking gets– what does it add? Does it
+do anything?
+
+MATT: Flanking? It’s advantage on your attacks.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, so first attack. 15.
+
+MATT: 15 does hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Great. And the second one. Neither of
+those are a crit, but that’s a 24 on the second one.
+
+MATT: That hits, roll damage for each.
+
+TRAVIS: (counting) 17. For the Hexblade, four
+points of damage, so 21 on the first one.
+
+(counting) 17 on the second.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this? You fucked that
+guy up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll shift in right behind him and see
+Molly looking around, give him a little wink, and
+
+I’ll take the falchion and take the back of his
+head off.
+
+MATT: Molly, it’s pulling back ready to leap at
+you, and as it lurches towards you it stops, you
+
+watch as the upper half of its shoulders and head
+slip and slough off into the water.
+
+TALIESIN: You fucking arsehole.
+
+TRAVIS: Sorry. I was getting what for, man. Shit.
+And I’ll– oh wait. Natural 20. Peace out!
+
+MATT: You vanish out of the space. That’s a hell
+of a round. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’m going to go after this buddy
+here. Are we flanking him, technically?
+
+MATT: Right now? No.
+
+LAURA: Technically, because Beau’s on the ground?
+
+MATT: Beau is not threatening. You have to be on
+the opposite sides.
+
+ASHLEY: So disadvantage still?
+
+MATT: Yep, because you’re in the water.
+
+ASHLEY: 13.
+
+MATT: 13 just hits.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god, that looked like a one for a
+moment. Sevens are scary. No, it was a seven. I
+
+was just staring at it going: oh no.
+
+ASHLEY: Did I get it, though?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah you did, you’re right.
+
+LAURA: How much damage do you do? Because you hit
+it.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh shit. Sorry.
+
+TRAVIS: I heal 13 points.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+ASHLEY: 14 for the first hit.
+
+MATT: It’s hanging on by a thread.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, that hits. Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: Yeah, that’ll do it. How do you want to do
+this?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to take my blade, slit it in its
+throat, pull its tongue through and give him a
+
+Xhorhasian necktie!
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s that barbarian shit!
+
+MATT: So one-handed wide swing, with the same
+motion, you reach up right into the wound, tear it
+
+through, and maintain eye contact as it tumbles
+over into the water and disappears beneath the
+
+surface.
+
+TRAVIS: All day. I’m up for that all day. That’s
+what I’m here for.
+
+LIAM: That did not sound good.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn? You still have your
+movement.
+
+ASHLEY: Beau, what are you at? Oh no, I can’t do
+that.
+
+MARISHA: On my back, out of air, I go: That was
+awesome!
+
+ASHLEY: All right, could I walk over a little bit
+so I can stand on the–
+
+LAURA: Stairs?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, so I’m not in the water.
+
+MATT: You’re right next to Beau on the ground. You
+got out of the water. All right, ends your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+MATT: There’s a sound in the nearby water, as,
+emerging from one of the other caverns on the
+
+side, another merrow emerges from that side and
+another emerges from this side. The one up top
+
+here that sees everyone closing in is going to
+back up into the water, and is going to cast Call
+
+Lightning again. It wants to bring it about. Use
+the other level three spell slot. With that, as
+
+the cloud forms up in the sky again, seeing you
+step out of the water, you do not have
+
+disadvantage on the saving throw, but I need you
+to make another dexterity saving throw.
+
+ASHLEY: 14.
+
+MATT: It is a 13 DC, so you only take half damage.
+Which is good, because that would be 24 damage, so
+
+you take 12 points of lightning damage.
+
+ASHLEY: 12, you said?
+
+MATT: Yes, 12 points of lightning damage.
+
+SAM: She’s got, like, 100 more points.
+
+TALIESIN: Nah.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m, as Matt would say, looking rough.
+
+MATT: He’s going to dive into the water. You know
+where he disappeared beneath the surface as you
+
+see the water rippling out, but you’re not sure
+where he is or how deep he is. These two have
+
+emerged. This one’s going to move through the
+water to there, and is going to make a harpoon–
+
+Let’s move over a bit further because it can, to
+about there. It’s going to make a harpoon strike
+
+towards you, Yasha, throwing it in your direction.
+That’s a 20 to hit.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: All right, you take– that’s a bad roll,
+eight points of piercing damage reduced to half,
+
+so you take four points of piercing damage. I need
+you to make a strength check, so roll a d20 and
+
+add your strength modifier as it’s attempting to
+yank and pull you towards him.
+
+TRAVIS: Let him know!
+
+SAM: This is your thing, you are strong!
+
+ASHLEY: Get out of the thing, go away. Okay, okay,
+okay. Oh shit.
+
+MATT: You have advantage on your strength checks
+because you’re raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh, I do! That’s not much better. Ten!
+
+MATT: He pulled a 13, natural nine plus four. You
+get yanked. Beau, you watch as Yasha gets yanked
+
+over you as you’re lying on the ground, and it’s
+going to attempt to bite you as you’re down in the
+
+water once more. Natural 19. That’s 25 to hit. So
+with that, the bite attack, let’s roll damage on
+
+that. That is going to be ten points of piercing
+damage, reduced to five, 'cause you’re raging.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+MATT: This guy here is going to go ahead and move
+up right next to Caleb, rushing out of the water
+
+from underneath with the harpoon in its arms, and
+jam it towards your torso. That’s going to be a 15
+
+to hit.
+
+LIAM: Shield.
+
+MATT: All right. You watch as it deflects off of
+your body. It’s going to angrily attempt to bite
+
+down on you. That’s a natural 17 plus six.
+
+LIAM: I will use the dodecahedron and roll a 20 on
+this side. I got a natural two.
+
+SAM: So you’re rerolling for him.
+
+LIAM: I get to choose, it says it on this paper.
+Alternatively, after an attack roll is made
+
+against me, I can expend the fragment to roll an
+additional d20 and choose. So two plus whatever.
+
+MATT: As it attempts to bite down towards you,
+there’s a brief moment where the bite sinks into
+
+your shoulder, and there’s a brief burst where
+time seems to dart back, and you step out of the
+
+way as its bite hits air with no effect.
+
+LIAM: Caleb will remember this.
+
+MATT: All right. That ends their turn. Now it is
+Beau.
+
+MARISHA: I’m good. I’m still alive. And I get up.
+I go, (slurred) Who’s– who’s next? And I run over–
+
+MATT: It’s half your movement to get up, so you
+have 20 movement.
+
+MARISHA: I have 20 movement.
+
+TRAVIS: She healed up drunk.
+
+MATT: Wouldn’t she, though?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MARISHA: Am I able to, if I use Step of the Wind,
+am I able to make it around and get to this one
+
+who’s harrassing Caleb?
+
+MATT: You can certainly try.
+
+MARISHA: 'Cause I’d have 20 more movement and then my
+speed, which is 40. So I should be able to make it.
+
+MATT: You should. Do you want to try? All right.
+So five, ten, 15, and then go ahead and make an
+
+athletics check to make the leap. I’m letting you
+see if you can make it across the water without
+
+losing your movement.
+
+SAM: You’re great at jumping over small bodies of
+liquid, Marisha.
+
+MARISHA: I am. Yeah, that’s 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Yeah. (counting) You’re just outside of
+it to be within melee.
+
+MARISHA: Really? I’ve got extended melee. Come on,
+man.
+
+MATT: (counting) Actually, 35, 40, you can do it
+with just one if you’re there. So you manage to
+
+spin around, using your bonus action for Step of
+the Wind, so you still have your action.
+
+MARISHA: All right, two attacks. Let’s see what
+happens. First one: natural 20!
+
+(yelling)
+
+MARISHA: I’m super pissed off! Okay, okay, okay.
+Roll high on this one. That’s good. 12 plus
+
+another six. That’s 18.
+
+MATT: 18 points of damage on that one. Damn.
+Nice.
+
+MARISHA: I hate fish.
+
+TRAVIS: Hate-fish. They have great sushi there.
+
+MARISHA: And then I’m going to take the end of my
+bo, jab it right in its throat, see if I can get
+
+another one.
+
+LIAM: That’s cocked. You’ve got to take the good
+with the bad.
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten misses, however the critical did– as
+you run up from the side, you parkour off the
+
+wall, the side of the pillar there, leap, whack!
+Slam it with the staff. You see its head get
+
+pushed underwater again. It turns around; its eyes
+are adjusting like yours were a moment ago, and as
+
+you go to swing a second time, it does manage to
+deflect it with the side of its trident. No impact.
+
+MARISHA: I think that’s all I’ve got.
+
+MATT: All right, that finishes Beau’s turn. Jester,
+you’re up. Caleb, you’re on deck.
+
+LAURA: Are any of them looking rough?
+
+MATT: At the moment? This one’s been hurt, this
+one has not been, and this one is not visible. It
+
+is beneath the surface of the water.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to have Jester run up to the one
+that Beau just hit– yeah, the me. Yeah. And I’m
+
+going to Inflict Wounds on it at level one.
+
+MATT: Okay. So go ahead and roll a melee spell
+attack on it. If you want to move here, you can
+
+flank it. All righty. So you’re opposite of Beau,
+using that flank maneuver. So don’t forget, you
+
+guys can flank on direct opposites. They can also
+flank against you.
+
+TRAVIS: So what is it? What is it?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t even know why I bother.
+
+TRAVIS: At advantage, too?
+
+MATT: Oh, natural one and a natural four.
+
+LAURA: It’s a touch, though. Yeah, no, it doesn’t
+matter. They’re slippery little suckers.
+
+MATT: So as you swing out with your hand, your
+foot catches the edge of one of the pebbles, and
+
+you stumble for a second, and your hand goes wide
+off to the side, hits some of the stone on the
+
+wall behind you and releases the spell’s impact
+against lifeless wall, unfortunately.
+
+MARISHA: Don’t touch attacks avoid AC?
+
+MATT: No, that’s Pathfinder rules.
+
+MARISHA: Aw. Man, that’s old school.
+
+LAURA: For my bonus, I’m going to move my
+Spiritual Weapon and try to do the same thing and
+
+hit it.
+
+MATT: That it can do.
+
+LAURA: Can I flank it and get a bonus on–
+
+MATT: No, not technically a creature.
+
+LAURA: Okay, that hits.
+
+MATT: All right, so 2d8 plus four.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, now!
+
+LAURA: 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. Crack! The giant
+lollipop swings and hits the side of the jaw. It
+
+dislodges for a second, then for a moment it’s
+trying to hold the trident with one hand and the
+
+other’s trying to push it back into place.
+
+LAURA: And I say, tastes good, doesn’t it?
+
+MATT: (laughs) Awesome. That finishes your go.
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to save my higher stuff for the
+guy who’s disappeared, so I’m going to Fire Bolt
+
+it right at point-blank range at disadvantage.
+
+MATT: All righty.
+
+LIAM: Ugh.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I rolled a two.
+
+MATT: Nope. Nope. You get scared in the moment,
+because you’re still thrashing in the water, and
+
+you put the hand up and go (effort sound, fizzle).
+You were aiming six feet from it. It goes up like
+
+a firework and hits the roof.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to crouch down into the water and
+submerge up to my neck in the hopes that it does
+
+not know where I am and I’m too short to be hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Like the gas range, he’s trying to–
+
+MATT: That ends Caleb’s go. Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Shite.
+
+SAM: You’re super fast. Remember, you’re super
+fast.
+
+MATT: You have 60 feet of movement.
+
+LAURA: Help Yasha!
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I suppose we’re doing– yeah.
+
+LIAM: Flank that Yasha enemy! (pigeon coos)
+
+TALIESIN: Running to the Yasha creature.
+
+MATT: Are you running through the water or going
+to make a leap across?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to run through the water.
+Speed’s doubled.
+
+MATT: (counting) If you want to flank, you’ll be
+in the water, which is disadvantage on your attacks.
+
+TALIESIN: That doesn’t matter, then.
+
+LIAM: Advantage to disadvantage, straight roll.
+
+MATT: It’s a straight roll if you stay there, or a
+straight roll if you end up flanking it. Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, here’s an interesting thing,
+is– oh, god, yeah. I don’t want to be in the
+
+water, so I’m going to stay on that little patch
+of land so I don’t get–
+
+MATT: So make your four attacks on it, if you
+want.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, first two rounds. That’s a 14
+and a natural 20.
+
+MATT: Okay, yeah, that’ll do.
+
+TALIESIN: So the natural 20 is double the dice?
+
+MATT: Yep, just roll the dice.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. Eh. That’s nine. And the
+other one is 11.
+
+MATT: 11 points of damage. And then your third
+strike with your Haste.
+
+TALIESIN: Third and fourth. That’s– one of them
+misses, but the other one’s 19, the other one
+
+hits, the other one is ten.
+
+MATT: All right, so that hits on the third strike,
+there.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s better. 11 points of damage.
+
+MATT: Ooh. 31 points of damage in one round. As
+you’re carving through it rapidly, it is looking
+
+pretty hurt. It’s not on death’s door, but you
+singlehandedly carved it pretty hard in one round.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus action–
+
+MATT: You already used your bonus action.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, I did, for the attack! Never mind.
+Never mind. That’s literally everything I can do.
+
+MATT: All right, that ends Molly’s go. Nott.
+
+SAM: See, Kiri, I think they would have called if
+they really needed me. I think no news is good
+
+news, and–
+
+TRAVIS: Just then, a couple bubbles.
+
+SAM: That’s probably a good sign. And the water
+looks cold anyway, and you could get hypothermia,
+
+so, you know, I’ve got to protect you, and, yeah.
+That’s my turn.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: That’s amazing. Okay, Fjord, you’re up. As
+you reapparate within ten feet of where you were–
+
+TRAVIS: Closer to Molly. And I go, boo! Ah, shit.
+
+MARISHA: Party’s left.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck. And seeing that they’re engaged
+elsewhere, I’ll fire my first two Eldritch Blasts
+
+at the one that’s engaged with Molly and Yasha.
+Which is 18 to hit.
+
+MATT: Just remembering, why did you drop Hex
+again? It was because you cast–
+
+TRAVIS: Hexblade’s Curse.
+
+MATT: All righty. So first strike was 18, that
+hits.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 12 points of damage.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage, nice.
+
+TRAVIS: Is he still up? Then I’ll send the second
+one in his direction as well. That’s 22 to hit.
+
+MATT: That works.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven points of damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage, that’ll do it. How
+do you want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll pop up and be like, fuck, the first
+time I do it, son of a bitch. And I’ll go
+
+(magical buzzing and whooshing) and send both
+of them over there.
+
+MATT: Both (impacts) on its side. You watch as one
+of its arms gets blown off and flings, landing on
+
+the top of the stairs before rolling down a few
+steps and coming to rest.
+
+TRAVIS: As Molly looks over, I’m like (blows).
+
+MATT: It slips down into the water. Yasha, you
+take one swipe at it for good measure as it sinks
+
+below. All right, and roll your d20 to see whether
+you stay or go.
+
+TRAVIS: 13.
+
+ALL: (singing) Should I stay or should I go now?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s important to remember that you
+don’t–
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: So irritating.
+
+MATT: Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: All right. Can I get out of the water?
+
+MATT: Right now, you’re in the water, so with full
+speed, you’re probably not going to get to it
+
+unless you take an action to dash.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll hop up back on that, out of the
+water there.
+
+MATT: You have 30 feet of movement. There’s the
+guy who’s underwater over here somewhere, and
+
+there’s the guy that’s currently assaulted by most
+of your team on the other side.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, so I’ll move closer to where I think
+the guy is.
+
+MATT: (counting) There?
+
+ASHLEY: And then I will cast Healing Hands on
+myself.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you reach down and touch the
+front of your chest–
+
+ASHLEY: Bring me to a whole seven.
+
+MATT: Oh, shit.
+
+MARISHA: You were that bad? Wow.
+
+TALIESIN: Two. Two hit points. That’s two kittens,
+man.
+
+MATT: So that ends your turn?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, maybe not a good idea to walk over
+there.
+
+MATT: Emerging from the water, the water splashes
+up as it glances up. On the other side, that one
+
+merrow’s right there, have him surrounded, is
+going to make one strike again towards Caleb. That
+
+is a 23 to hit.
+
+LIAM: I’ll take it.
+
+MATT: Okay. That comes to 12 points of piercing
+damage. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have a reaction? Can I hit it?
+
+MATT: You can, because it’s attacking someone
+that’s not you.
+
+MARISHA: Yes, Sentinel shit!
+
+LIAM: Get out of here, status thing.
+
+MARISHA: Terrible, terrible. That’s a ten.
+
+LIAM: What was the damage before, DM?
+
+MATT: 12.
+
+LIAM: Thank you, thank you. My web browser’s going
+insane. I can’t. Hold on.
+
+SAM: Refresh.
+
+TRAVIS: I got you. I got it right here.
+
+LIAM: I have no internet right now. I rolled a
+six, and I don’t know what my con is because I
+
+have lost–
+
+SAM: It’s in your notebook somewhere. Your
+character sheet. You printed it out somewhere, right?
+
+MARISHA: You don’t have a print-out of your
+character sheet?
+
+LIAM: Oh, you’re right, I do, after you asked me
+nine times.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: I believe your constitution is 14, if I
+recall? Which brings a +2 to what you rolled.
+
+TRAVIS: If you got that right, that’s some fucking
+Beautiful Mind shit.
+
+MATT: Yeah, 14. Failure. Haste wears off, because
+you lose concentration.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god, does that mean I– oh, shit. I’m
+out for a round, aren’t I?
+
+LIAM: Does the exhaustion happen when the spell’s
+broken?
+
+MATT: When the spell ends, the target can’t move
+or take actions.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, shit.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s a shitty side effect.
+
+MATT: And, to follow that up, it’s going to bite
+down towards Caleb, seeing that you’re probably
+
+the easiest meat around here, unarmored. That’s a
+natural 20. I’m having really good luck.
+
+LAURA: I’m easy meat!
+
+MARISHA: Check the lollipop, it’s so inviting!
+
+ASHLEY: Tasty treat.
+
+MATT: All right, so with a bite attack against
+you, that is 14 points of piercing damage to you, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Okay. Earlier, I’m sorry, because the
+internet shit the bed on me, so it was 12 plus 14.
+
+I’m still up.
+
+MATT: Oh my god. Okay. Ending that turn, the other
+one standing there emerges, the storm in the sky.
+
+It sees you standing up again and goes (growls).
+Sounds like some horrible curse. I need you to
+
+make a dexterity saving throw.
+
+TRAVIS: You know what, it’s okay, because there’s
+fucking smoke on our map.
+
+MARISHA: It looks great.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m pleased.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Taliesin. A great gift I’m glad
+I’ve been able to use finally.
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: 18, okay, so half damage. We’ll see what it
+rolls.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, 13 or less.
+
+MATT: That is a nine, a one, and a three. 13
+points of damage. Lightning damage. Halved to six.
+
+Not even joking. You can look at the dice.
+
+TRAVIS: I believe you.
+
+MATT: I can’t fucking believe that.
+
+SAM and LAURA: She’s okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, you’re at one.
+
+MATT: You are a fucking warlock, is what that is.
+You know that, but–
+
+TRAVIS: (singing) You got the perfect warlock.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: God damn it.
+
+TALIESIN: Holy cow.
+
+MATT: And is going to vanish once more beneath the
+surface of the water. You don’t know quite where
+
+it is, that’s where you last saw it disappear.
+That brings us to Beau.
+
+MARISHA: It’s me already? Oh, shit. I’m going to
+unleash on this guy. Again, crack, crack, see what
+
+happens.
+
+MATT: You have advantage on these because you’re
+flanked currently with Jester.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, goodness gracious! Yes! I’m going to
+try and use my staff to pole vault me up in the
+
+air and go crack, crack, with two big swoopy
+swoops. I’ll take the 13, eight plus six is 13. 14!
+
+MATT: 14 hits him. Armor class of 13.
+
+MARISHA: That’s eight plus another four so that’s
+12 damage for the first one. Second one. That
+
+hits, 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits, roll damage for the second strike.
+
+MARISHA: Five damage.
+
+MATT: Whack, whack! You hit both sides with the
+staff. It’s being knocked around, spitting blood
+
+out of its mouth. It’s hurt.
+
+MARISHA: It’s hurt.
+
+SAM: Mildly hurt.
+
+MATT: It’s hurt pretty bad.
+
+MARISHA: I have one more ki point. I can stun it,
+or I can do Flurry of Blows and try to kill it.
+
+LAURA: Kill it! Flurry of Blows it!
+
+MARISHA: All right, last ki point. Flurry of
+Blows.
+
+MATT: Make two more strikes against it.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: (chanting) Apology, apology!
+
+SAM: Guilt attack!
+
+TRAVIS: “Did I say I was sorry?”
+
+MARISHA: Hey Caleb, we should talk later. I’ll
+take that 13, so it’s 20 for the first attack. And
+
+then 12? No. Yes. No, 12.
+
+MATT: 12 does not hit, but one of them does.
+
+MARISHA: Stupid. Seven damage.
+
+MATT: Seven points of damage, how do you want to
+do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+MARISHA: I pole vault up, do the two hits, and
+then I want to parkour off of the spiritual weapon
+
+a little bit, Marty McFly on the lollipop, and
+then do a flying roundhouse to his face!
+
+MATT: Whack! Right across his face. The impact
+throws its head with such a speed down onto the
+
+rocks, right at the bottom of Jester’s feet.
+Crack! It slowly slides, gurgling, into the water,
+
+sinking below.
+
+MARISHA: I stand up, throw my hair out of my face,
+and that ends my turn.
+
+MATT: Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I’m going to cast Cure Wounds. I’m
+going to walk up behind Caleb and give him a hug
+
+around the waist and say: you’re okay, my friend.
+
+LIAM: He’s like this in the water.
+
+LAURA: I cast at level two, so that’s 2d8 plus
+four. 12 points of healing for you. For my bonus
+
+action, I’m going to have my duplicity self run up
+and stand right next to the spot where the fish
+
+wizard comes out.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. She’s going to–
+
+TRAVIS: Look real mean.
+
+MATT: Good to know. Finishing your turn, Jester,
+Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Am I able to wade onto the land, just behind
+Beau there? Yeah, if I go in that direction, can I
+
+get off on dry land?
+
+MATT: You can just barely get onto land if you
+want.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I’m going to do that, and as I’m doing
+that, I’m pulling out my little clay cat’s paw and
+
+I’m going to hold Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp. As
+soon as I hear fish talking in the water, I’m
+
+going to let it go.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to step out of the water, by the
+way, for my movement.
+
+MATT: Okay, you step back. That ends your turn,
+Caleb, as you’re holding your action. Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to (retching), and throw up
+for a second, because I got vertigo because I lost
+
+Haste. And that’s my turn.
+
+MATT: Nott?
+
+SAM: I’ll take one more swig, and I’ll jump in the
+water.
+
+MATT: With your movement, you get most of the way
+across on the rope, but you can bonus action to dash.
+
+SAM: Bonus action dash!
+
+MATT: With that, Nott just barely emerges from the
+distant pool of water.
+
+SAM: Where are they?! Let me at them! I’ll save
+you all!
+
+MATT: You don’t see any monsters.
+
+SAM: Get this water off me! Ah!
+
+MATT: Nott’s splashing behind you.
+
+SAM: I’ll shake like a dog.
+
+MATT: Perfect. Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll reappear and take–
+
+MATT: Whereabouts?
+
+TRAVIS: Ten feet closer to Yasha’s direction, on
+land still. I will hold Eldritch Blast until I see
+
+the reappearance of–
+
+MATT: Good to know. Roll your dice.
+
+TRAVIS: To hit for it? Oh. Aww, shitballs.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no.
+
+TRAVIS: 16. Ah ha– (yelps)
+
+MATT: Held actions and Blink can be a really
+tricky thing.
+
+TRAVIS: Show your fucking fa– (yelps)
+
+TALIESIN: Can you move while you’re not blinked,
+by the way?
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+SAM: Can you see into our world?
+
+TRAVIS: I can see and hear and all that stuff.
+
+MATT: It’s like an ethereal– like Frodo with the
+ring on.
+
+TRAVIS: Guys? (distressed yelp)
+
+MATT: This is what Ripley used on you guys last
+campaign.
+
+TRAVIS: Fuck you, Molly!
+
+MATT: That finishes Fjord’s turn. Yasha, you’re
+up.
+
+ASHLEY: Oh my god, okay. I’m going to hold– I’m
+going to stay where I’m at. I’ve got nothing to
+
+attack so I’m just going to hold my turn until I,
+you know.
+
+MATT: Hold your action in case something shows
+up?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, in case something shows up in the
+water and then I can–
+
+MATT: That ends your turn. That brings us the
+merrow shallow priest’s turn. As you’re all
+
+focusing on this element, a small ripple of water
+emerges over here as it has swum down below the
+
+water.
+
+LIAM: Cat’s Paw!
+
+MATT: Cat’s Paw. What does it have to roll for it?
+
+LIAM: 16. Strength.
+
+MATT: 16 strength?
+
+LIAM: Yeah.
+
+MATT: Does it get a saving throw, you mean? A
+strength saving throw?
+
+LIAM: “On a failed save, the target must make a
+strength saving throw.” Versus my 16.
+
+MATT: That is an eight. No.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah!
+
+(meowing)
+
+MATT: It is currently restrained, right?
+
+LIAM: And it takes 2d6 damage. Bludgeoning
+damage.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+LIAM: Five points of bludgeoning damage.
+
+LAURA: That’s a really big cat paw.
+
+LIAM: It’s so big.
+
+MATT: Yeah, it’s gargantuan. All right, how much
+damage was that?
+
+LIAM: Six total.
+
+MATT: Six total damage.
+
+LIAM: So a big muddy claw sinks into its tail and
+pulls it down in place.
+
+MATT: At which point it’s holding its staff still
+and (hissing), spins its arm around. A level two
+
+Thunderwave bursts out in front of it in a 15-foot
+cube, hitting both Beau and Caleb. I need you both
+
+to make a constitution saving throw, please.
+
+LIAM: The damage doesn’t do anything to its
+spellcasting ability, does it?
+
+MATT: No.
+
+LIAM: Okay. So what do I take?
+
+MATT: A constitution saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: 17 for me.
+
+MATT: That is a success, so you take half damage.
+
+LIAM: I’m not going to make this. Eight.
+
+MATT: Nope. That is 17 points of thunder damage.
+You take half of that, so you take eight.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh yeah, just Caleb. She’s still up.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m out.
+
+MATT: You’re still up?
+
+MARISHA: I’m still up.
+
+SAM: Cat’s Paw’s gone.
+
+MATT: Cat’s Paw’s gone. Caleb’s unconscious. Easy
+come, easy go. Beau, you are thrown ten feet back
+
+into the wall there as the smoke dissipates from
+the Thunderwave. Wham! Into the wall and fall to
+
+one knee. Let’s see. No, that’s all of its
+movement. It took all of its movement to get
+
+there, so that’s where it stands. That’s going to
+end its turn. Beau.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Turn this man into fish sticks.
+
+MARISHA: (grunts) I’m a little out of– it knocked
+the wind out of me.
+
+MATT: Oh, it has to make a constitution saving
+throw to see if it maintains the thunderstorm
+
+above. Which it succeeds.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to go for this mother.
+I’m going to run up towards it, once again parkour
+
+off of that little– yeah, and give a nice flying
+Superman punch and then an uppercut.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+MARISHA: First hit. All right, I’ll take that 21.
+
+MATT: You’re technically in the water, so the
+attacks are at disadvantage.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. 16.
+
+MATT: 16 still hits.
+
+MARISHA: That’s ten damage.
+
+MATT: Ten damage. Got it.
+
+MARISHA: Second attack. 16 for the first one. 16
+again total.
+
+MATT: All right, that hits again. Second attack.
+
+MARISHA: 12 damage.
+
+MATT: 12 damage. Two constitution saving throws.
+That’s a success, and a success, so it’s still
+
+maintaining concentration on the lightning storm.
+
+MARISHA: And bonus attack. Not good. Nine to hit.
+
+MATT: It swings wide. It’s laughing under its
+hissing breath as you’re punching, and it’s
+
+starting to try and slowly submerge into the
+water.
+
+MARISHA: (panting) I’m losing steam. That’s my
+turn.
+
+MATT: That brings us to Jester.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to run to the other side of
+Beau.
+
+MATT: Right here?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, so I’m flanking it.
+
+MATT: Over here, you mean?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I wouldn’t be able to hit it from the
+land, would I?
+
+MATT: (counting) That’s where you are, but you’re
+in the water right now. You’re (splashing).
+
+LAURA: Okay, so I would get a straight attack,
+right?
+
+MATT: Yes, you would.
+
+LAURA: Okay. I’m going to try to hit it with a
+level three Inflict Wounds.
+
+MATT: Go for it. You have disadvantage.
+
+LAURA: Well, a straight because it’s flanked.
+
+MATT: You’re flanking it, so it’s a straight
+attack, yes. You pull back (energy crackling).
+
+LAURA: That’s 11.
+
+MATT: (fizzling) You reach up and right as you–
+The dice are not with you. I’m so sorry, Laura.
+
+I’m so sorry.
+
+LAURA: No, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.
+
+SAM: These dice are wrong and bad dice and they
+should be put away forever.
+
+MATT: As you reach out with this crackling bolt of
+looming necrotic energy, it manages to spin around
+
+and a burst of wind immediately pushes your arm
+just off course and it releases harmlessly in the
+
+air. I’m sorry.
+
+LIAM: At least you got an apology when you rolled
+shit.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, cool. I’m going to use Spiritual
+Weapon at level two and then try to slam it down.
+
+MATT: All right, roll for the attack on it.
+
+LAURA: It’s a level three Spiritual Weapon. It’s a
+natural one.
+
+MATT: You cast it at level two earlier though. I’m
+so sorry.
+
+LAURA: No, I cast Spiritual Weapon at level
+three.
+
+MATT: No, it was level two at the beginning.
+
+LAURA: No, I didn’t. I cast it at level three. I
+did.
+
+MARISHA: We all went, “Whoa! Level three!”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, there was a “whoa” there. We will
+all get yelled at on the internet if we’re wrong.
+
+LAURA: Yes, it’s three. It was level three. It
+doesn’t matter. I rolled a one.
+
+MATT: I trust you guys.
+
+ASHLEY: But for next time, when you kill it and
+get a How Do You Want To Do This with it. Just in case.
+
+MARISHA: How do you want to sweet tooth this?
+
+LAURA: That’s all I can do.
+
+MATT: Sorry, Jester. That finishes your turn.
+Caleb, I need you to make a death saving throw, please.
+
+LIAM: Sure. Let’s do this. That’s a six.
+
+MATT: That’s a failure. First failed save on
+Caleb.
+
+MATT: All right. Molly, you have a turn now.
+
+TALIESIN: Yes, I do.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, laugh. Laugh it up. I’m pregnant!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Is it possible to make a leap across
+some of water at the very least to try and get
+
+back to land?
+
+MATT: Make an athletics check.
+
+MARISHA: A woman scorned by her dice.
+
+TRAVIS: I know. I only see that at home.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a ten?
+
+MATT: No. You go (splashing) (counting) 30.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to also then use my action to
+dash.
+
+MATT: (counting) 20. You get up there.
+
+TALIESIN: And I’m within range?
+
+MATT: Combat range, yes.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus action–
+
+MATT: You can only use your bonus action to attack
+if you’ve used your action to attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, that’s fine. Wait. Double check,
+because I thought that’s just using my off-hand.
+
+MATT: That’s what I’m thinking, but I’ll double
+check what the rules are there.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s okay, I’ve got options. Sort of.
+
+MATT: Every now and then you need a reminder,
+folks.
+
+SAM: Did Laura go to deliver the baby right now?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, just real quick.
+
+MATT: “When you take the Attack action and attack
+with a light melee weapon that you’re holding in
+
+“one hand, you can use a bonus action–” If you
+don’t attack, you cannot bonus action attack.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay. That’s fine. I’m going to try
+something weird, hold on. Since that’s not going
+
+to work, can I take Enthrall? I’m going to take
+Enthrall. I’m going to try and use Enthrall.
+
+MATT: Is it an action or a bonus action to use?
+Because you’ve used your action this turn.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s true. I’m trying to see.
+
+MATT: I believe Enthrall as a spell is an action.
+
+TALIESIN: It might be it. Yeah, it’s an action,
+never mind. Vicious Mockery.
+
+MATT: Vicious Mockery, I believe, is also an
+action.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh my god, everything is an action. I
+have no bonus actions or anything reasonable that
+
+I can do.
+
+MATT: But you’re in melee.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m in melee. That’s fine.
+
+MATT: That ends your turn, Molly. Nott.
+
+SAM: Seeing my friend Caleb down, I’m filled with
+a mighty rage and I will draw my crossbow, load my
+
+Burning Bolt, and run at it screaming and
+firing.
+
+MATT: (counting) It’s within 20 feet. As you’re
+running out of the water, (screaming)
+
+(splashing).
+
+SAM: That’s a 20 to hit?
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage with the additional
+Burning Bolt.
+
+SAM: (counting) Fury of the Small, 21, plus the
+Burning Bolt is another three. 24 total?
+
+MATT: 24 points of damage.
+
+SAM: On the first hit.
+
+MATT: It has to make a constitution saving throw
+to see if it maintains. No, it does not. It drops
+
+the lightning.
+
+TALIESIN: That alone.
+
+MARISHA: That will keep Caleb alive.
+
+SAM: Is it still alive?
+
+MATT: Yeah. Next attack.
+
+SAM: Bonus action, shot. 22 to hit?
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage.
+
+SAM: It’s just one now. Another eight points.
+
+MATT: The shallow priest is looking hurt.
+
+MARISHA: Shallow priest?
+
+MATT: It’s a merrow shallow priest.
+
+TALIESIN: Very shallow. Really hot Instagram
+account, though.
+
+MATT: Does that finish your turn, Nott?
+
+SAM: That’s it.
+
+MATT: Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll reappear ten feet closer to Jester.
+Yep. And I’ll unleash two Eldritch Blasts.
+
+MATT: Ten feet right there.
+
+TALIESIN and MARISHA: Beach priest.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not going to hit. That’s a ten.
+
+MATT: Goes wide, strikes a nearby rock.
+
+TRAVIS: And that’s a 14 on the dot.
+
+MATT: 14 misses.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, it does, that’s right.
+
+MATT: This one has higher armor than the rest. As
+you release both bolts, it’s flailing around, hurt
+
+after taking the impact from the bolts. You can see
+the burst of flame on its back from the shot it
+
+took from Nott, and as it lurches forward, it
+manages to arc out of the way of your bolt. No
+
+impact.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, roll to see–
+
+MATT: Roll to see if you stick around.
+
+TRAVIS: I disappear. (bamfing noise)
+
+MARISHA: Oh god! You’re cutting out, Fjord, I
+can’t–
+
+TRAVIS: You guys are doing good– (bamfing noise).
+
+TALIESIN: Take ten feet to the right. I can’t–
+
+MATT: Lag spikes are rough when you’re on a
+raid, guys.
+
+LIAM: This is like those Tatasciore spells. Like
+(mimics cutting out).
+
+MATT: Top of the round. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to go around to– Can I flank
+him? Behind or somewheres?
+
+LIAM: Front of Molly.
+
+MATT: Right now? No, the space right there where
+technically it is– I’ll say you can get up on
+
+there, sure. Using all your movement, you can get
+on there. It’s a little wobbly.
+
+ASHLEY: Then, you know, attack.
+
+MATT: No. Hold on, Beau was in the water. This
+technically is not a space you can get on. You
+
+would not be able to flank with it. You can get
+there if you want to. Because this is in the space.
+
+ASHLEY: It’s not considered flanking?
+
+MATT: No, because you have to be on the exact
+opposite. That space is currently occupied by the
+
+stalagmite.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s fine. Okay.
+
+MATT: You’re in the water, so disadvantage on your
+attacks.
+
+ASHLEY: Disadvantage. Okay.
+
+LAURA: I didn’t even realize I was sitting here
+like—
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: 18 hits.
+
+MARISHA: It’s like this little dark cloud right
+over you.
+
+TRAVIS: Come on, Yasha.
+
+LAURA: Kill it, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to try.
+
+LIAM: That’s what you do.
+
+ASHLEY: Nine.
+
+LIAM: Yasha.
+
+TRAVIS: Nein!
+
+ASHLEY: 12 for the first hit.
+
+MATT: Nice.
+
+LIAM: Come on, buddy.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. 20?
+
+MATT: 20 hits. Roll damage for your second
+strike.
+
+ASHLEY: 12.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage. It is so close. It is
+hurt so bad. As you slash twice, in the water, you
+
+see these large arcs of stale, stagnant cave water
+splashing in the air with this gleaming blade as
+
+Yasha’s tearing into it. The pool around it is
+turning dark purple as its blood is seeping in and
+
+it’s looking desperately around for some means of
+escape. That end your turn, Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I don’t think I can’t do anything
+else.
+
+MATT: It’s now the shallow priest’s turn.
+
+LAURA: Oh no. Thunderwave.
+
+SAM: Oh no, you’re all grouped together.
+
+MATT: Yeah. That’s what it’s going to do. Level
+two Thunderwave.
+
+LIAM: Would Caleb have flown backwards when he was
+struck before?
+
+MATT: Hmm?
+
+LIAM: When Caleb was knocked down by Thunderwave
+the first time, would he have been thrown
+
+backwards?
+
+MATT: It would have thrown you back into the wall.
+There’s nowhere more for you to push this way.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I thought–
+
+SAM: Oh no. Is he within the cube?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, it depends where the cube goes.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s a direction. It’s not a cube
+around you, it’s a– you have to shoot it.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s shallow priest discretion. What will
+he do? Look as the DM muddles his choices.
+
+Considers consequences. Plans his retribution.
+
+SAM: Decides to kill Liam forever.
+
+TALIESIN: If he wants to escape, he’s got to knock
+us all back.
+
+TRAVIS: As his hair dangles beautifully in front
+of his face. Thinks– (singing) I’m in another
+
+dimension!
+
+MARISHA: Doing the Charleston.
+
+MATT: The placement here makes it a little hairy.
+It’s going to go ahead and–
+
+SAM: That’s only three squares, right?
+
+MATT: It’s a fifteen-foot cube. In front of you.
+And it’s trying to– Yeah, you guys are positioned
+
+in such a way where it–
+
+SAM: It doesn’t have to be in front of you.
+It says in any direction.
+
+MATT: Well yeah, but you can’t be part of a cube,
+and I’m trying to figure out what would be the
+
+most optimal way for it to use it. I’m going to
+say–
+
+TALIESIN: It’s going to be the two of us, I think.
+Yeah, that’s my money.
+
+MATT: No, the ones who are hurt the most are Beau
+and Yasha and they’ve been the biggest problem for
+
+these guys. It’s not too worried about the other
+two. 15-foot cube. Okay. All right, you know what?
+
+It’s going to go ahead and attempt to shift this
+way one square, into the space with the Spiritual
+
+Weapon.
+
+TALIESIN: So it gets an attack of opportunity
+from–
+
+MATT: From Yasha.
+
+LAURA: And from Jester.
+
+MATT: And from Jester. Both of you guys, make an
+attack. With disadvantage for you, Yasha. It’s
+
+risky on its endeavor, but it’s what’s going to
+give it an opportunity to try and get out of this
+
+lockdown.
+
+ASHLEY: It hits.
+
+MATT: What’d you roll?
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a 16 and a 21.
+
+MATT: Okay, 16 hits.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s just a regular attack.
+
+MATT: Yeah, regular attack.
+
+LAURA: I rolled a 15.
+
+MATT: 15 just hits.
+
+TRAVIS: So if you hit with your Sentinel does that
+mean its speed is reduced to zero?
+
+MATT: Yep. It can’t move. So with Sentinel, it
+does not get a chance to move as you arc towards
+
+it. How much damage did you do?
+
+ASHLEY: Nine.
+
+MATT: Nine.
+
+LAURA: Five.
+
+MATT: Five. How do you two want to do this?
+
+(cheering)
+
+LAURA: I go low, you go high?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah!
+
+LAURA: All right. I go low with the handaxe.
+
+MATT: Okay. So as you swing with the handaxe and
+you swing with the sword as it backs away,
+
+charging the energy of the Thunderwave in its
+hands, it tries to slink through the water, the
+
+blade of your handaxe carves into its throat from
+this side (painful grunt). At which point the
+
+blade hits from this side (slurp). And like a
+terrible scene out of Riki-Oh, because I have not
+
+used that reference in this campaign, the body
+gets split in two sides and you watch as it falls
+
+to the ground in three separate pieces, (thuds)
+all sinking beneath the water below.
+
+ASHLEY: See ya!
+
+TRAVIS: Wouldn’t want to be ya!
+
+ASHLEY: Oh my god. Can we grab some of the stuff
+before he goes into the water?
+
+SAM: You’re looting him before he–
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, before he sinks down.
+
+LIAM: Should I make another death save?
+
+MATT: Yes you do, Caleb. That’s cocked.
+
+LIAM: That’s an 11.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+LAURA: I go– Are we still in initiative order?
+
+MATT: Right now, at this point, there is no
+threat.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I Blink back in and go, stop!
+
+MATT: Yes. You drop the spell.
+
+TRAVIS: (panting)
+
+LAURA: I’m going to Cure Wounds Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay. Go ahead and heal up for that.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to be so pissed off though, about
+nothing working. I’m just going to touch him with
+
+my toes.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: The last slab of its flesh that you had
+carved from its head and shoulder area you push
+
+into the water, kicking it forward.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s good. 12 points of healing.
+
+MATT: So, Caleb, you heal 12 hit points.
+
+LIAM: Thank you. (groans) Ow.
+
+SAM: Not attractive.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I make my way over and up the steps?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll join you.
+
+MATT: We’ll say as you guys gather to go ahead and
+deal with the aftermath of this battle, we’re
+
+going to take a break.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Because there is time to take a break. We’ll
+be back here in just a little bit, guys.
+
+TRAVIS: Good shit, man. Good shit.
+
+MARISHA: Look, there’s condensation on the map.
+
+LAURA: I know, it’s really cool.
+
+MATT: Apologies for the humming of the motor from
+earlier. This is the first time trying it out.
+
+Didn’t really need it. It was fine. But yes, so.
+We’ll be back here in a few minutes, guys. We’ll
+
+see you in a little bit.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everybody! Carefully clapping,
+so not to clap too much.
+
+LIAM: No, you got to just do this.
+
+MATT: Hi everyone. Welcome back. Before we jump
+into the story, real fast, we wanted to say a quick
+
+hello from a friend of ours who stopped by the
+office and tonight’s studio to say hello. Babs
+
+Tarr, the very, extremely talented comic book
+artist for many different comic series. Incredibly
+
+talented and is very much a Critter along with us
+and stopped in to say hi!
+
+BABS: Thanks for having me, guys!
+
+MATT: Of course, thanks for coming by! Where can
+they find you?
+
+BABS: Oh, babsbabsbabs.com or @babsdraws on
+Instagram and Twitter. Check it out, guys!
+
+LIAM: Check out her book, Motor Crush!
+
+BABS: Thank you! Yes, Motor Crush Volume 2 just
+came out, so check it out.
+
+MARISHA: And your nails are amazing.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Babs.
+
+BABS: Bye, guys!
+
+ASHLEY: She did that and I was like, ooh!
+
+MARISHA: So blue!
+
+MATT: Picking up where we left off. You guys rush
+to pull Caleb off the ground. You’re all beaten,
+
+battered–
+
+MARISHA: I’m standing right there, so I’ll get you
+up.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my Pearl of Power to
+regain a 3rd-level spell and then I’m going to use
+
+Prayer of Healing on everyone. So everyone I can
+see within my range. So everybody get within 30
+
+feet of me! I’ll do 3d8 of healing for everybody.
+
+SAM: Wow!
+
+LAURA: Seriously? (shouting) Seriously!
+
+TRAVIS: Think of the baby! Stay calm.
+
+LIAM: A one, a one, and a two.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, wow.
+
+MATT: Laura.
+
+LAURA: (shrieks through gritted teeth) So eight
+points of healing, you guys, for that level three spell.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, but that’s still–
+
+SAM: I didn’t even need it because I wasn’t hurt
+at all in the fight.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take your eight points?
+
+TRAVIS: Seven points of healing?
+
+MATT: Eight points of healing.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll take it.
+
+LAURA: (muffled shrieking)
+
+SAM: The baby can hear all of this.
+
+LAURA: This game’s going to make me go into
+labor!
+
+MARISHA: What if it does, you guys?
+
+MATT: No, we need her for as long as we can keep
+her.
+
+MARISHA: That’d be so magical.
+
+LAURA: I’m not really mad. I’m fine.
+
+SAM: Roll for dilation.
+
+TRAVIS: Roll low.
+
+MATT: Anyway. Your wounds close up a bit through
+the incantation.
+
+LAURA: The smallest amount.
+
+LIAM: You look pretty bad.
+
+MARISHA: You look pretty shitty, too.
+
+LIAM: I’m good.
+
+MARISHA: Your shave is still very nice, though.
+
+LIAM: What’s that stuff up there? I’m going to
+start hobbling towards the bottom of the stony steps.
+
+SAM: I’ll help him.
+
+MARISHA: Caleb, do you– yeah, all right.
+
+LAURA: Check for traps, you guys!
+
+SAM: Oh, okay! I can do that. Are there any boxes
+or treasure chests?
+
+MATT: You see remnants of crates and broken goods
+littered across the rough staircase, now that you
+
+take a moment to inspect it. Make an investigation
+check if you want to glance about the space.
+
+SAM: With disadvantage!
+
+MATT: Yes, because you are drunk.
+
+SAM: That’s an eight.
+
+MATT: You find some broken pieces of pottery, it
+seems like. Nice, polished on one side, with a
+
+nice glaze.
+
+SAM: I’ll take those.
+
+MATT: You can write down in your inventory "broken
+pieces of shiny pottery.” Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Can I pick up his big trident that has the
+cord attached to it? Is it wrapped around his
+
+wrist, or anything? Is that how he was pulling
+people?
+
+MATT: If you look at the trident, it looks like
+it’s a very tightly woven rope, but the individual
+
+threads of rope are treated like a leather-type
+stat, so it’s a really tight leather cord.
+
+TRAVIS: Is it attached to his person in some way?
+
+MATT: From what you can see, where it was dangling
+from there, they’re wrapped in a loose loop around
+
+the side of their armor, and when they throw it,
+they catch the end of it and pull it back.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll take the trident and unhook it from
+his armor.
+
+MATT: Okay. It’s about 60 feet of leather cord, if
+you want to call it that. Sturdy leather cord.
+
+It’s heavy, so it’s about twice the weight of hemp
+rope. It’s stronger, but it’s heavier.
+
+TRAVIS: These guys were big.
+
+MATT: Yeah, they’re pretty strong.
+
+MARISHA: Can I take a short rest while everyone’s
+doing this?
+
+MATT: If you guys want to take a short rest, if
+you guys are inspecting the rest of the area.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, y'all look for shit. I’m going to
+meditate for a hot second.
+
+SAM: If you’re going to meditate, maybe go back
+and check on the little bird?
+
+TRAVIS: Where did you leave her?
+
+SAM: I think she’s okay, I left her in an
+invisible– I made a false rock.
+
+LAURA: I go into the water to look for her.
+
+MATT: Jester, as you come back into the next
+chamber, you’re looking around and there’s no sign
+
+of Kiri. You see natural stone, the pool, a piece
+of wall to the side, and there’s no sign.
+
+LAURA: Oh no! She’s been taken! Kiri! Kiri!
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “I’m Kiri!” You look around
+and you don’t see anything.
+
+LAURA: Kiri? Where are you? Are you invisible?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Yes, I’m very sweet!”
+
+LAURA: Oh, Kiri! I’m going to find you. Say
+“warmer” or “colder,” and I start walking around
+
+the room. Warmer?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Warmer?” You slowly start
+making your way towards this weird cylindrical
+
+stone wall that you now realize wasn’t there
+before.
+
+LAURA: This is a weird-looking wall.
+
+MATT: You reach through and your hand goes right
+into a tuft of feathers. (startled chirping)
+
+LAURA: Kiri!
+
+MATT: Kiri reaches up and grabs your hand, and you
+pull her through the illusion. She steps out and
+
+goes, (like Cali) “I killed people!”
+
+LAURA: Good for you! I did too, just barely. It
+was a bad day for me, Kiri.
+
+MATT: Kiri points to one of the bodies of the
+merrow that you had killed the night before that’s
+
+barely visible out of the water there. It looks
+like it has a couple stab wounds to it, and Kiri’s like–
+
+LAURA: Did you go stab a dead person?
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LAURA: We should probably teach you that’s not the
+coolest thing to do, I don’t think, but it’s fine
+
+that you did it this time. I’m sure he didn’t feel
+it. But probably if we’re in a place where other
+
+people are around, we probably shouldn’t stab
+people that are already hurt.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay, okay, okay.”
+
+LAURA: I mean, no, that’s a lie. Unless they are
+attacking you. Don’t stab people that are
+
+dead-dead.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Okay, okay, okay.”
+
+LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.
+
+LIAM: I realize something in a panic and I trudge
+through the water back towards the entrance and I
+
+pull out the wire and I put it in my hands and I
+cast Message and say to Jester: Please, please,
+
+please get my books and put them in your bag,
+please?
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check, Jester.
+
+LAURA: Watch me roll a fucking 20 on this.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god no.
+
+LAURA: Oh god no. That was cocked, and I just
+moved it. Oh good, that’s worse. Four.
+
+MATT: As you spend a moment searching around in
+the middle of the dirt with no luck, there’s a
+
+little knock on your shoulder with a pointed
+finger. You glance over and Kiri has the book
+
+bundle, the leather strap–
+
+LAURA: Were you holding those the whole time?
+
+MATT: (chirping) Points to the side corner.
+
+LAURA: Put those books in this pink bag, okay? All
+right.
+
+TRAVIS: Are there any stairways, or doors, or
+gates, or anything that would lead upwards from
+
+this cavern?
+
+MATT: If you want to start inspecting the area: up
+the stairs, there’s a platform above where there’s
+
+more of the boxes and crates and there’s piles of
+things gathered around some sort of rock
+
+formation, where that mist seems to be emanating
+from, which is still loosely drifting off of the
+
+surface of the water.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll take a closer look.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: 14, okay. You can see scattered bits of gold
+and silver and copper that have been lost amongst
+
+the steps here, some of them covered in dirt or
+mud and can be cleaned and pulled out of there. As
+
+you ascend the steps, if anybody wants to join
+Fjord as well? You go with him as well? You also
+
+see there’s a bunch of silverware thrown around.
+Very nice, fine silverware that is, in many cases,
+
+partially packed with more mud, sand, and whatever
+grime is here. It looks like everything was
+
+brought here, and largely a number of it has been
+discarded or left with no particular purpose. As
+
+you begin to pore through some of it, you see
+there’s a crate that’s partially open. There’s a
+
+cache of weapons in there that are bound in
+clusters with leather straps around them. Looking
+
+there, there are four well-made longswords, four
+well-made shortswords, two battleaxes, and two
+
+halberds that are part of this cache. They’re
+resting open on the inside of this open crate.
+
+There’s a locked, dark wood case, about four feet
+across and a foot wide, that is currently closed
+
+and latched. There’s also a locked iron box that’s
+flat, a foot and a half by a foot and a half. It’s
+
+simple, steel, iron look to it. Then there’s the
+stone formation that’s about six to ten foot at
+
+different places. It’s a bit oblong and strange.
+It’s not a perfect oval, but it’s made to be this
+
+pool of water, where the mist is rising and
+sifting out of it. Around the edges of it, there
+
+are dozens and dozens of metallic objects of
+different shapes and configurations and designs.
+
+Make a religion check.
+
+TRAVIS: Natural 19, for 21.
+
+MATT: You recognize a majority of the iconography
+here. It looks like one of these bundles– one of
+
+these boxes that was gathered here– was filled
+with holy symbols and religious iconography, most
+
+of which appear to be deities that are outlawed by
+the Empire. You see symbols and worship idols for
+
+the Archeart. You see some for Avandra, the
+Changebringer. You see a number of Moonweaver holy
+
+symbols with the two crescent moons across the
+silver cross. You see the hook and the wreath of
+
+the Wildmother, Melora, a number of those
+scattered about, some in disrepair, with actual
+
+pieces of dried barley and other grains around it.
+You see a number of symbols of Kord, the
+
+Stormlord. You see a handful for the Everlight.
+There are a few more dubious symbols as well.
+
+There’s one that looks like a dark, horned crown
+that you recognize that is used to invoke
+
+Asmodeus, the Lord of the Hells. You see one that
+looks like– you only see a few of these, but it
+
+looks like a series of chains and shackles that
+are across a coffin-like box, and you know that,
+
+because you rolled super high, to represent Bane,
+the Strife Emperor, who is a deity of conquest.
+
+SAM: Let’s hear it, Liam.
+
+LIAM: (Bane voice) “Your punishment will be more
+severe.”
+
+MATT: There it is.
+
+MARISHA: You were waiting for it!
+
+MATT: As well as the clawed hand on a number of
+items that resemble Tiamat, the Scaled Tyrant.
+
+TRAVIS: You guys, come up here. There’s a ton of
+arms up here. There’s battleaxes and swords, but
+
+there’s all these trinkets and holy symbols.
+
+LIAM: Are you being careful up there?
+
+TRAVIS: Careful?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, you know. Nott could have a look
+around, I could have a look around once Jester
+
+returns with my books.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I actually wouldn’t mind if you
+check for magic. And Nott, actually, there’s this
+
+four-foot long box if you want to try and open her
+up for me.
+
+MATT: Jester, you return. Did you take Kiri with
+you?
+
+LAURA: I’ll have her hold on to my belt as we
+swim.
+
+SAM: Is it locked?
+
+TRAVIS: I think so. It looks to be latched shut in
+some way.
+
+MATT: At this point, you hear a distant sound that
+echoes through the wall (fluttering). You spin and
+
+look over and you can see Jester emerging from the
+water and a little black bird that is currently
+
+fluttering to try to get the water off the
+feathers.
+
+LIAM: I start speed wading back. (stuttering) Are
+my books dry?
+
+LAURA: Oh yeah, I put them in my coat. Don’t
+worry, they’re fine.
+
+LIAM: But can I see them?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Just kidding. They’re in the bag.
+Don’t worry.
+
+LIAM: Are they dry?
+
+MATT: They’re dry.
+
+LIAM: They’re dry. Okay.
+
+MATT: Nott, what were you looking at?
+
+SAM: There’s a locked box?
+
+TRAVIS: The four-foot long one.
+
+MATT: Yeah, there’s two boxes.
+
+SAM: Two boxes?
+
+TRAVIS: The iron one and the wooden one.
+
+LIAM: I recommend that you allow me to check for
+magical problems. Then once we know what’s what,
+
+then you go in. But that takes about ten minutes.
+
+SAM: Okay. Yes. Sounds good to me.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, sure. We’re kind of in the middle of
+a short rest anyways.
+
+LIAM: So I will pull out my spellbook and I will
+use ritual casting to cast Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: Okay. As you focus, there is a– as you look
+over, there is a faint magical aura from inside
+
+the pool where the mist is emanating, and the long
+wooden box emanates a magical source from the
+
+inside.
+
+TALIESIN: Is the staff that the–
+
+MATT: You’d have to try and retrieve the body. It
+sunk into the water.
+
+TALIESIN: We grabbed it before it sank.
+
+MATT: The staffed one? Okay. As you pull the staff
+over, the staff does not have any magical
+
+properties. It looked like it was just a focus for
+whatever spellcasting it was doing. Make an
+
+investigation check as you were going back to the
+body.
+
+LIAM: There’s a glow in the water as well?
+
+MATT: If you want.
+
+LIAM: Well, I’m not doing anything. I’m just
+saying.
+
+MATT: You feel a magical presence within the pool.
+Not the pool itself, but within. And the mist is
+
+still pouring over the edges of it.
+
+ASHLEY: The pool that’s up at the–
+
+MATT: Yeah, the upper platform.
+
+MARISHA: I like having codenames.
+
+LAURA: Are you looking? Who’s looking?
+
+SAM: I’ll try– Should I try to open the box?
+
+TRAVIS: He’s still doing his magic circle or
+whatever.
+
+LIAM: We know that there is something magical in
+the pool itself and then you said the long wooden
+
+box is glowing?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: What kind of magic is coming off of the
+wooden box?
+
+MATT: Enchantment.
+
+LIAM: Enchantment.
+
+LAURA: (exaggerated cockney accent) Enchantment!
+
+MATT: (exaggerated cockney accent) Enchantment!
+Hi, Yuri.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take a look in there. I’ll walk
+towards the pool at the very least. I’m going to
+
+pick up any of the Moonweaver pieces.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check as you pore
+through and find as many as you want to.
+
+LIAM: I don’t believe that there is any kind of
+protection or magical lock on that. So, yeah, try
+
+to pick the lock from a distance.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, what are all these things, Molly?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m not entirely sure, but they’re very,
+very nice.
+
+MATT: Are you glancing through as well?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I want to find something for the
+Traveler.
+
+MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: Is this on the priest? The shallow
+priest?
+
+MATT: This is the pile of religious iconography.
+
+LAURA: 11.
+
+MATT: 11. Okay. Because–
+
+TALIESIN: Also 11.
+
+MATT: All right. You find– and there’s a number
+of these. You see, probably, in total, well over
+
+100 to 120 various holy symbols, idols, small
+representations pressed into metal or clay. These
+
+are all means of worship from a grand scale to a
+pauper scale that seem to have been part of what
+
+was moving through this smuggling path.
+
+LAURA: I’m looking for the Traveler’s symbol.
+
+MATT: Which you find two.
+
+(gasps)
+
+MATT: You, who have never met anybody else who has
+ever met the Traveler, you look down and find
+
+amongst this pile two holy symbols of different
+make. One appears to be almost pure silver. One
+
+looks like it’s a little more of a burnished
+bronze or a dull iron that’s very, very heavily
+
+tarnished. But they both have the same door arch
+with the road expanding from the center.
+
+LAURA: Whoa! Look!
+
+SAM: What is it? What are they?
+
+LAURA: Oh, I wasn’t talking to you.
+
+SAM: Oh, okay.
+
+LAURA: Look!
+
+TRAVIS: Who are you talking to, Jester?
+
+LAURA: The Traveler! Lookit! You have symbols
+here!
+
+TALIESIN: It looks like a door.
+
+LAURA: It is a door. He’s a traveler. He travels.
+
+TALIESIN: His symbol is a door?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you feel the Traveler in here?
+
+LAURA: Well, if he is, he was fucking with me
+earlier. Are you in here?
+
+MATT: No response.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think so.
+
+MARISHA: Do I see anything from Ioun? I hobble up,
+crack my rib back in place.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s actually a little discomforting,
+these symbols.
+
+TALIESIN: I would say so.
+
+MARISHA: You said investigation?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+MARISHA: Ten.
+
+MATT: You give a solid glance through and it looks
+like, no. Ioun, the Knowing Mistress, is one of
+
+the approved religions, and you get the sense that
+all the symbols that are here are religions that
+
+are unapproved by the Empire or considered
+betrayer gods and are not approved anywhere.
+
+TALIESIN: What do I find for the Moonweaver?
+
+MATT: Oh, plenty of Moonweaver symbols. There’s
+probably a good 12 or 13.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s also some very dark deities here.
+Asmodeus.
+
+LAURA: Which ones are the bad ones?
+
+TRAVIS: Asmodeus?
+
+MATT: Asmodeus.
+
+TRAVIS: Asmodeus, Bane the Strife Emperor,
+Tiamat–
+
+LAURA and MATT: (singing) Asmodeus, Asmodeus!
+
+SAM: I’ll cast Mage Hand from afar and try to
+unlock the big box.
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make your– with disadvantage.
+
+SAM: Oh, an 18 and a 19.
+
+MATT: Oh, look at that! Even while drunk, little
+Nott’s able to–
+
+LIAM: (sing-song) Do-de-do-de-do!
+
+SAM: (sing-song)
+Whoopie-doopie-doopie-doopie-doop, click!
+
+TALIESIN: You did check for traps, right?
+
+LAURA: Doesn’t matter.
+
+SAM: No, I’m opening it! Fuck off, grandpa!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to sit back and watch.
+
+LIAM: She’s doing it from 30 feet away. Hopefully
+that’s enough.
+
+MATT: The latch spins off, and a blade fires out
+from where the lock was, shoots across the room,
+
+and vanishes into the darkness before it scrapes
+off some stone in the distance.
+
+LAURA: Good job, Nott!
+
+TALIESIN: Again!
+
+MATT: It appears to be open. There’s a slight gap
+now where the lid is now open. You lift it up.
+
+Looking inside, you see this beautiful
+jewel-inlaid, curved golden blade of some kind.
+
+With what little bit of light that you guys have at
+your disposal now, you can see it shining and it’s
+
+this pure gold color. As you swing it for a
+moment, it seems to bend with the movement before
+
+flicking back into place.
+
+LAURA: It’s made of rubber.
+
+MARISHA: It’s the rubber pencil trick.
+
+SAM: Is it a super long blade? Or is it like a
+rapier-type thing?
+
+MATT: It would constitute in the vein of a
+scimitar.
+
+TALIESIN: That looks very exciting. I’m going to
+run over–
+
+SAM: No, I don’t think–
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, nope, no– I’m pushing aside. I’m
+going to try the weight.
+
+MATT: It’s pretty well-balanced. Lighter than you’d
+expect. And gold is not a good metal for any sort
+
+of combat. It’s a soft metal and you see the
+flexibility seems such but yet it’d probably hit
+
+pretty hard, but you’re a little worried about
+using gold for any sort of combat scenario.
+
+LAURA: Maybe it’s ceremonial.
+
+TALIESIN: Perhaps.
+
+ASHLEY: Swing it around.
+
+TALIESIN: I give it a swing.
+
+MATT: Swings pretty solid.
+
+ASHLEY: Want to hit me with it?
+
+LAURA: No, wait! Let Caleb look at it. What if
+it’s super-duper cursed, Yasha?
+
+SAM: We’ll melt it down and sell it for raw gold.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s worth more as it is.
+
+LIAM: That looks heavy, so first, you hold that.
+Have we found everything? Also, while all that was
+
+going on, I was looking for a jagged cross with
+two crescent moons in it.
+
+MATT: Yes, and you managed to find it. You find
+probably about 6 or 7 different variations to the
+
+Archeart’s iconography.
+
+MARISHA and TALIESIN: Archeart?
+
+LIAM: Of those 6 or 7 that I saw, I will take the
+one that looks the most familiar to me from my
+
+memory.
+
+MATT: You find one that’s pretty similar to the
+one that you saw.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to keep that.
+
+MATT: You pocket it.
+
+ASHLEY: I rolled a 13.
+
+MATT: A 13 to–
+
+ASHLEY: To look for a symbol of the Stormlord.
+
+MATT: You find about four of them. Two of them are
+medallions and one of them looks like a ceramic
+
+marker that would be hung on a wall. One of them
+looks like it was part of a latch on a small chest
+
+and was torn from it. You see bits of rotted wood
+on the back of it where it may have been
+
+previously pressed in and bolted against the outside
+of a chest.
+
+MARISHA: Can I look around on the walls and on the
+doors and, using my criminal background, see if I
+
+see anything that’s Thieves’ Cant or smuggling
+operation things?
+
+MATT: Sure. Make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: 23.
+
+MATT: Okay. While you guys are having this
+conversation, Beau is casing the joint here. There
+
+are no hidden exits. In fact, you get the sense
+that all the entrances and exits here are through
+
+the various pools of water. You begin to think,
+based on placement, that there’s probably a
+
+network of caverns here, and possibly more merrow
+that exist in the vicinity of the lake, of the
+
+Ounterloch beyond here.
+
+TRAVIS: Can you describe what the Bane, the Strife
+Emperor, symbol looks like?
+
+MATT: Yes, actually. I can show you an image of
+it.
+
+LAURA: You know, there are a lot of shackles
+around everywhere, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Here?
+
+TALIESIN: In general.
+
+LAURA: Didn’t we find, like, four manacles? And
+there were four dead bodies, too, right in the
+
+other room?
+
+MARISHA: We keep finding dead skeletons.
+
+ASHLEY: And also steal 185 gold, which we did not
+disburse.
+
+MATT: That is what you see. It’s like an
+upside-down, coffin-like design, with these chains
+
+that cross over.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s just this little handheld thing?
+
+MATT: Yes. It’s roughly a little larger than your
+palm.
+
+TRAVIS: Can I toss it into the well?
+
+MATT: Sure. It sinks down and for a moment, it
+obscures, but you see this very faint yellowish
+
+color on the bottom. It disappears into the pool.
+
+LAURA: Why would you do that? Are you trying to
+bring about this really weird god? Can I reach
+
+in and try to get it out?
+
+MATT: Sure. You reach in and you scour around and
+your hand touches and finds the symbol. Next to
+
+it, there’s a polished stone about that big that’s
+resting in the silt at the bottom.
+
+LAURA: Ooh. I reach in and grab that.
+
+MATT: Okay. You pull out the stone, and as soon as
+the water emerges from it, it’s smooth. It looks
+
+like a cat’s eye. It has a yellowish color to it
+and there are striations that refract light around
+
+it. At one end, it looks like there was– an impact
+carved a line about three inches across on one side.
+
+LIAM: Clearly that’s what’s glowing at the bottom
+to my eyes?
+
+MATT: It has a very faint yellowish glow.
+
+LIAM: What kind of magic, school of magic, is it?
+
+MATT: It’s not a school of arcane magic.
+
+LAURA: What is this? I still grab the other little
+symbol.
+
+MATT: Okay, symbol there.
+
+LIAM: I don’t know. I think you should put it–
+
+LAURA: Want to look at it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, let’s put it down with that sword that
+we found, Mollymauk.
+
+MARISHA: Does the groove in it look like it
+matches the size of the blade of the sword?
+
+MATT: She sets it down, and rests it there next to
+the other symbol, at an angle. It doesn’t look
+
+like it matches the sword. The groove that’s hewn
+into it, what at first looked like it was impacted or
+
+wounded by some sort of damage, upon closer look,
+it looks intentionally placed or carved in. So you
+
+have this cat’s eye, yellowish sphere with this
+three inch-wide, pointed oval line in the front.
+
+LAURA: Looks like it’s an eyeball.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: Could be the end of a sending stone or
+something.
+
+TRAVIS: Did any of the shortswords, longswords,
+battleaxes– any of those register under Caleb’s
+
+magic sweep or they’re just nicely made?
+
+MATT: They’re just well-made, like freshly made
+and were being sent somewhere.
+
+SAM: Should we take them all?
+
+LIAM: Do you want to see something?
+
+LAURA: I hold it up in front of my face.
+
+SAM: Ah, you’re a cyclops! Kill her!
+
+LAURA: Can I see through it?
+
+MATT: You cannot.
+
+LIAM: Come with me, okay?
+
+LAURA: All right.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to lead Jester up to the top where
+fish guy was at the beginning with his staff. Set
+
+it down, and–
+
+MATT: That’s where you guys are standing right
+now.
+
+LIAM: We’re already up there?
+
+MATT: That’s where you’ve removed from the pool.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I want to go up where all the little
+thingies are.
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+LIAM: Let’s set it down, just in case. Okay? Then
+I pull out my spell book again and– Will you hold
+
+this for me?
+
+LAURA: Of course I will. Thank you very much.
+
+LIAM: Sit down with me. I rifle through the pages
+to the right one for Identify and the sword is
+
+down. Okay, I’m going to use this one. You can
+see– and I start showing the different glyphs and
+
+I start the ritual.
+
+MATT: Fjord. Something about that orb is very familiar.
+
+SAM: He’s teaching you magic. Listen carefully.
+
+LAURA: I am.
+
+SAM: You’ll learn new spells this way.
+
+LAURA: I’m listening.
+
+SAM: What did he just say?
+
+LAURA: He’s not talking right now.
+
+SAM: Oh, yes. Okay.
+
+LAURA: He’s muttering.
+
+LIAM: So it takes ten minutes to make the spell.
+
+MATT: Okay. So, while you’re doing that.
+
+TALIESIN: Is there one more box we haven’t
+opened?
+
+MATT: There is one more metal box that’s not been
+opened.
+
+SAM: Should I open it?
+
+TALIESIN: You should check for traps and open it.
+
+SAM: All right. I’ll finger it from afar.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LAURA: Are we far enough away from it?
+
+MATT: With disadvantage, because you are drunk.
+
+SAM: It’s a one.
+
+MATT: Okay. Seems fine.
+
+SAM: I’ll open it.
+
+TALIESIN: In theory, we’ve moved it aside.
+
+MATT: All right. Disadvantage, to try and open the
+lock.
+
+SAM: What is this, thieves’ tools?
+
+MATT: Thieves’ tools. So it’s dexterity plus your
+proficiency bonus.
+
+SAM: I’ll never figure this out. Dexterity plus–
+
+LAURA: Proficiency.
+
+SAM: I rolled a ten.
+
+LAURA: So 17.
+
+MATT: 17? That’ll do it. You needed a 16. The iron
+box opens. Nothing goes off; no blades, no traps.
+
+On the inside, you see a beautifully smithed sword
+handle and hilt made from silver with an
+
+acorn-sized emerald set on each side of the hilt,
+right in the center.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, let’s put that in the pile.
+
+SAM: There’s no blade?
+
+MATT: The blade extends for an inch before it’s
+broken off at a jagged angle.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s put that in the pile, too.
+
+MARISHA: An inch?
+
+MATT: There’s an inch of the blade. It seems to
+have broken off at some point.
+
+LAURA: Is it magic?
+
+LIAM: I thought it was just the long box that we
+already opened.
+
+SAM: Well, this was a metal box.
+
+MATT: Right. You did not sense any magic from
+this.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) Can I use Mending on it?
+
+LIAM: If the box was solid enough, that’s true.
+
+MATT: You attempt to cast Mending on this?
+
+LAURA: On the sword.
+
+MATT: Strangely, it resists it.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, put that shit in the pile.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Okay.
+
+MATT: There’s something about it. Even though it
+didn’t emanate a magical essence from what he was
+
+requesting, the Mending spell, for some reason, is
+unable to grasp the nature of this object to
+
+complete it.
+
+LIAM: I would think there would be enough time
+overlap, though, for Detect Magic to still have
+
+one or two minutes left before we get to the end
+of Identify. So if that is brought over, do I
+
+notice any sort of glow from–
+
+MATT: No magical essence from it, but as you’re
+looking over it, beyond just the beautiful make of
+
+it, you do see runes carved across the hilt and at
+the pommel. It looks like at one point it was an
+
+enchanted blade, but was sundered and is missing
+the rest.
+
+LIAM: Okay. So I mutter. I pause my chanting and
+say: I will take a look at that in a moment. Hold
+
+on. And finish my 11 minutes of ritual casting.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not going to interrupt, but that
+sphere looks very–
+
+LAURA: Like an eyeball.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, famili– Do you mind if I– is it
+wet?
+
+LIAM: Wait. Is anyone going to interrupt me before
+I get to the end of Identify?
+
+SAM: No. Let’s wait in real time. 11 minutes.
+
+LIAM: Yeah?
+
+(laughter)
+
+TALIESIN: Roll initiative.
+
+MARISHA: It doesn’t look like the gash in the orb
+is deeper than the length of the blade that’s left,
+
+correct?
+
+MATT: I’m sorry. What was that?
+
+LIAM: Just a bunch of sexual innuendo, Matt.
+
+ASHLEY: But what about the other sword?
+
+MATT: What was your question?
+
+MARISHA: The– god damn it.
+
+SAM: No. He said before that it didn’t look like
+the blade made the gash in the eye.
+
+MARISHA: But this was a different blade.
+
+ASHLEY: That was a different blade, though.
+
+MARISHA: There are two blades.
+
+LIAM: Yes. There’s a complete blade that’s magic.
+
+MARISHA: But I’m just wondering if it fits. Never
+mind.
+
+MATT: Oh, fits the–
+
+MARISHA: Let him finish the damn spell.
+
+TRAVIS: If it fits the gash in the side of the
+sphere.
+
+MARISHA: The sphere. The broken hilt.
+
+MATT: No. The carve in the sphere is about three
+inches long. The blade looks like it would’ve been
+
+about two inches wide and it’s broken off at a
+jagged side angle.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is furrowing his brow at everybody
+arguing about this as he’s 30 seconds away from
+
+ending.
+
+MARISHA: Stop! Con-cen-trate! Con-cen-trate!
+
+LIAM: Lost. Gone.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’ll help Jester look around. Maybe
+we see a broken blade somewhere while he finishes that.
+
+LIAM: Jester’s holding my spell book.
+
+LAURA: I know. I pass it over to Nott. Here. I’m
+not learning anything.
+
+MARISHA: Jester and I do a quick scan to see if we
+can find the broken blade.
+
+MATT: Okay. Investigation check. Either both of
+you roll, or one of you roll with advantage. Up to you.
+
+LAURA: Take advantage.
+
+MARISHA: Do you see anything? Take advantage? A
+nine and a ten? It’s okay. 15.
+
+MATT: 15. Looking around, you see no sign of any
+other half of the blade, broken or not.
+
+TALIESIN: It was in a case, so I suppose it would
+be unlikely. Or if it was on its way somewhere,
+
+it was probably on the way to the other end of it.
+
+LAURA: I walk back over to Caleb.
+
+MATT: Okay. Anybody else? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: What do you find out?
+
+MATT: So you finish casting Identify on–
+
+LIAM: On sword and cat’s eye. It’s whatever’s
+sitting in my little–
+
+MATT: All right. The sword is not magical, and so
+it does not give you any essence as to what
+
+enchantment it is. Looking at the runes, you could
+see that there was once held magic–
+
+LIAM: The complete sword?
+
+MATT: Oh, the finished one? Sorry, I
+misunderstood. That, yes.
+
+LIAM: All this shit doesn’t exist, so sometimes
+it’s hard to tell what we’re talking about.
+
+MATT: I’m sorry.
+
+LAURA: It exists, Liam.
+
+MATT: That, you do have immediate grasp of what it
+is capable of.
+
+LIAM: This blade is called Summer’s Dance.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Ooh, I want to dance with
+somebody.
+
+MARISHA, SAM, and LAURA: (singing) I want to feel
+the heat with somebody!
+
+LIAM: Mr. Mollymauk?
+
+TALIESIN: Mr. Caleb.
+
+LIAM: I feel like this might be good for you.
+There is a kind of magic that I do not even
+
+possess that allows you to vanish from one point
+and reappear in another, and this blade will allow
+
+you to do it.
+
+TALIESIN: (maniacal laughter) You’re going to get
+yours, oh yes.
+
+LIAM: It is a very fine blade. It is more lethal
+than a regular blade and will allow you to poof,
+
+poof, poof.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll be living the dream.
+
+LIAM: You can all argue over it, but I hand it to
+Mollymauk. As well as the cat’s eye.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you begin concentrating another ten
+minutes on the cat’s eye.
+
+LIAM: Is it one spell, one item?
+
+MATT: You choose one object to cast on.
+
+LIAM: Okay, next.
+
+MATT: So wait another ten minutes.
+
+TRAVIS: While he’s concentrating on it, can I sit
+down next to him and touch it?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+SAM: Touch it, meaning his penis.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: You’re welcome, internet.
+
+MATT: As Caleb’s concentrating on it, you reach
+out and touch the stone. Your body immediately
+
+goes cold.
+
+SAM: Oh! He’s dead, he died.
+
+LIAM: Could have waited 11 minutes, but no.
+
+MATT: Your vision vanishes from your eyes as
+darkness fills your world. Your lids itch like
+
+some sand or dirt now scrapes the inside of the
+skin, and you rub them with your wrist. Your eyes
+
+open to find yourself somewhere else. The sky is
+moonlit and cloudless, the starry night looking
+
+down at you. Your clothes are not your own, nor is
+your body. A thick, brown leather overcoat lined
+
+in buckles wraps around your torso while
+sun-weathered human skin marks your flesh. You
+
+notice your hands are dirty and thick with
+calluses as you clutch the very same yellow,
+
+polished stone in your left hand. Looking down,
+you see the body of the individual who was its
+
+previous owner, now still in a pool of crimson
+dark. You glance around the place, some
+
+jungle-grown natural landmass by a pond. The smell
+of seawater is strong on the wind in the middle of
+
+the night. Flash– in your right hand grasps the
+familiar falchion, water dripping from the blade.
+
+A voice booms into your mind: “Potential.” A
+sudden, uncontrollable hunger overcomes you as you
+
+instinctually jam the stone into your gut. It
+slowly sinks into your human flesh painlessly. As
+
+it’s being pushed into your torso: “Consume.” As
+it quickly vanishes within your belly, the hunger
+
+subsides as exhaustion takes over. You fall to
+your knees and look within the water, your
+
+reflection familiar, but not your own: Vandrin.
+“Reward.” Just as quickly as the vision came, in
+
+the blink of an eye, it’s gone, your reflection
+now that of the familiar half-orc, looking into
+
+the pool where the stone was found, but the stone
+is gone. The rest of you guys watched, in the
+
+middle of this concentration, while Fjord touched
+the stone, grabbed it, and jammed it into his
+
+chest. Before all of you could even react and push
+forward, it had already been thrust through his
+
+armor and into his body. You reach over and try
+and grab him, and with a strength you’ve never
+
+felt in his body, he lurches towards the pond and
+thrusts it fully in, seemingly under some sort of
+
+uncontrolled force, his eyes glazed over and
+staring forward. Suddenly, he comes back, and as
+
+you glance around, you feel tension on your body
+as all your friends are grabbing onto your body
+
+and pull you away from the pool.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s the orb?
+
+MATT: It’s gone.
+
+SAM: What the fuck was that?! What just
+happened?!
+
+TRAVIS: How do I feel?
+
+MATT: Exhausted.
+
+MARISHA: Are you clammy, a little warm?
+
+MATT: You actually take a point of exhaustion.
+
+LAURA: Can I touch his chest and his stomach?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, check to see if there’s a scar or
+anything.
+
+MATT: There’s no damage to the armor, and as you
+pull back some of the leather plates, there’s no
+
+sign of a wound.
+
+TRAVIS: I feel funny. What happened?
+
+LAURA: Caleb, did you Identify it before it went
+into him? What was it?
+
+TRAVIS: Into me?
+
+LAURA: You have the thing in you!
+
+ASHLEY: It’s now in your chest.
+
+LIAM: You grabbed the stone before I had a chance
+to finish what I was doing. Why did you do that?
+
+TRAVIS: I felt like I’d seen it before. I just
+wanted to touch it.
+
+LIAM: Why?
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know. You ever see something you
+felt like you’d seen in a dream before, but you
+
+don’t know why or how?
+
+LIAM: No.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Yes.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sorry. I felt compelled to– I felt
+like there was half a chance I’d touch it and it
+
+wouldn’t be there. I saw things.
+
+MARISHA: Like what?
+
+TRAVIS: People I knew. A man, he’s very dear to
+me. I don’t understand it, but he was– I was him,
+
+and he was holding the sphere. The eye.
+
+LIAM: I was him, what does that mean?
+
+ASHLEY: Who was he?
+
+TRAVIS: Again, you ever have that dream where you
+look in the water and you see another face looking
+
+back at you, like you’re someone else?
+
+SAM and TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+LAURA and LIAM: No.
+
+TRAVIS: 50/50. You said I put the sphere in my–
+
+LAURA: Yeah, you stuck it into your chest.
+
+TRAVIS: I saw him do– I saw me as him doing the
+same thing. He was standing over someone, covered
+
+in blood, and he put the sphere inside of him.
+
+LAURA: Who was he?
+
+TRAVIS: He was my mentor, a captain of mine. A man
+named Vandrin.
+
+LAURA: I’ve heard you say his name before.
+
+TRAVIS: Yes. I haven’t seen him in quite some
+time. I don’t know what any of this means, but I’m
+
+not a fan of losing track of time like that.
+
+LAURA: Well, what if you’re cursed now? How do we
+know you’re going to be okay? You have a weird
+
+thing inside of you!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, do you feel any heartburn or any
+constipation? Because that thing was big, and it’s–
+
+TRAVIS: I bend over and put my hands on my knees,
+and–
+
+MATT: You don’t feel any strange spheres in the
+inside of your abdomen.
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t feel anything. I do feel pretty
+tired, though.
+
+ASHLEY: What happened to Vandrin?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not exactly sure. He may be dead. He
+captained a ship that I worked on for many years
+
+and there was an incident.
+
+SAM: Did the ship sink?
+
+TRAVIS: I believe so. There was an explosion, and
+we were in terrible weather. There were waves, we
+
+were being thrown about, and I was knocked
+overboard. I never saw what happened to Vandrin,
+
+but when I woke up, I was back on shore and I
+didn’t see anything of the ship or him or any of
+
+the other crewmates.
+
+LAURA: Maybe he’s alive and you were seeing
+through his eyes right now?
+
+TRAVIS: I would like that. I would like that very
+much; he was very good to me when a lot of people
+
+in my life haven’t been, but he was holding the
+sphere– how could he be holding it if I was?
+
+LAURA: Maybe there’s more than one?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe if you concentrate on his idea,
+maybe you can feel him some way. Or maybe this
+
+thing is like a beacon to him?
+
+SAM: Or maybe he’s cursed and he’s going to turn
+evil and kill us all in our sleep?
+
+MARISHA: Maybe you’re cursed.
+
+LIAM: Are you skipping any details?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, how did you survive?
+
+[battle music]
+
+LAURA: (gasps) I feel like something’s going to
+attack us.
+
+TALIESIN: Roll for initiative.
+
+TRAVIS: (demonic voice) I’ll tell you how I
+survived!
+
+MATT: Don’t spoil the surprise, Travis!
+
+MARISHA: It’s a trauma film, no!
+
+LIAM: Are you skipping any details?
+
+TRAVIS: Did I recognize the body that was lying in
+blood?
+
+MATT: No. Nobody you’d seen before. All you recall
+is seeing the orb and the same sword that you have
+
+in his hand.
+
+TRAVIS: No, no details. I knew this man very well.
+He was almost like a father to me, and I never saw
+
+him holding anything like this. Not that I
+remember. Do I ever remember seeing anything like
+
+that in his quarters, in his offices, anything?
+
+MATT: No, weirdly.
+
+TRAVIS: It’s unique, I’d remember.
+
+MATT: There’s a strange aspect as you focus really
+hard to remember, but the face that you saw in the
+
+water was definitely Vandrin. Maybe a little
+younger than you remember him: faintly less gray
+
+to his hair and facial hair.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not leaving anything out.
+
+ASHLEY: But how did you survive that?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not entirely sure. I remember getting
+thrown overboard, the waves overtaking me. It was
+
+a hell of a fight, and I’m a real good swimmer,
+but you’d come up for air one second and your
+
+mouth would be full of salt water the next. I
+remember losing track of which way was up. It’s
+
+funny, when you’re underwater and it’s dark, the
+only way to tell which way is towards the surface
+
+is by blowing bubbles. I did that as hard as I
+could with all the air that was in my lungs and
+
+those bubbles disappeared. I remember it stinging,
+filling my chest and the next thing I knew, I was
+
+face-down on the shore.
+
+MARISHA: Sounds a lot like dying.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I’ve heard a lot of tales of men
+drowning, being brought back. They say that same
+
+thing. But no one was with me on that shore, I was
+alone.
+
+LAURA: Maybe mermaids rescued you.
+
+SAM: Or maybe your father is a sperm whale and
+that’s how you survived, because you’re half whale
+
+or fish.
+
+LAURA: Maybe you’re a mermaid and you don’t know.
+
+SAM: I think that that’s likely.
+
+ASHLEY: What kind of ship was it?
+
+TRAVIS: Just a merchant ship. He had many.
+
+LAURA: What was the explosion you talked about?
+
+TRAVIS: There was a bit of sabotage on the ship.
+
+MARISHA: A coup?
+
+TRAVIS: I wish I knew. If I’m lucky, one of these
+days I’ll find out.
+
+MARISHA: Well, might be sooner rather than later,
+now.
+
+LAURA: Oh man, that’s totally weird.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk up and take a look at
+this pool one more time. I want to taste the
+
+water; is it fresh or salt?
+
+MATT: The water is salt water.
+
+TRAVIS: The pool water?
+
+MATT: The pool water is salt water. All the rest
+of the water in this cavern is fresh.
+
+MARISHA: The pool water is salt water?
+
+MATT: Yes.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s sea water.
+
+ASHLEY: Fjord, what if you try jumping in this
+water?
+
+MARISHA: I kind of agree with that.
+
+TALIESIN: Why were they bringing religious
+iconography to this thing? What were they trying
+
+to do with it?
+
+MARISHA: Well, this is all, from what I can
+recognize, deities that are not sanctioned by the
+
+empire.
+
+TRAVIS: But good and evil deities.
+
+MARISHA: I mean, things that are wanted that are
+illegal are going to be wanted. It seems like
+
+there was clearly a high demand for some people to
+worship who they want to.
+
+TRAVIS: On the edge or around it, right? Not in?
+
+MATT: Yeah, and you get– make an intelligence
+check for me.
+
+LIAM: I feel like we’re missing something.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: Looking at this, and looking at the way
+things are spread about, you get the sense that
+
+something drew the merrow to the safe house. They
+took whatever they found in the safe house below,
+
+tore through it, and placed whatever was important
+to them in this area.
+
+SAM: They wanted this eye thing.
+
+LAURA: That was the whole reason they attacked
+was– what if they attack you now?
+
+TRAVIS: For what?
+
+LAURA and SAM: For having the thing inside of
+you!
+
+TRAVIS: But you can’t see it! I don’t have it!
+
+LAURA and SAM: Maybe they can sense it.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: We solved it.
+
+LAURA: We solved the mystery.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to cast Dancing Lights and scour
+the room. Is there anything we’re missing?
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+TRAVIS: How big is the well?
+
+MATT: It’s roughly five to eight feet in
+diameter.
+
+ASHLEY: What happens if you look over, do you see
+yourself?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh shit, that’s not a bad call. I’ll check
+my reflection in the well.
+
+MATT: Okay. You look in the well, the water is
+moving in there. It’s you.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to push his head underneath
+the water.
+
+MATT: (splashing water, sputtering) Salt water,
+you start coughing for a minute and come up.
+
+TALIESIN: Anything?
+
+TRAVIS: (coughs once)
+
+LAURA: He’s coughing up salt water again!
+
+SAM: Just like his dreams.
+
+TRAVIS: Try again.
+
+TALIESIN: Tap three times when you’re done. Push
+him under.
+
+SAM: Can you breathe? Can you breathe underwater?
+
+TRAVIS: (inhales)
+
+MATT: You are drowning.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m tapping like a motherfucker.
+
+MATT: You pull him out of the pool. He starts
+coughing up the water.
+
+TRAVIS: (coughing)
+
+TALIESIN: We’re even for the teleport now.
+
+LAURA: I don’t think he’s a mermaid anymore.
+
+TALIESIN: Of course, it’s possible it hasn’t
+actually had an effect on you yet, either.
+
+SAM: Or it can only be on the full moon, or
+something.
+
+TALIESIN: That doesn’t make any sense.
+
+SAM: I know mythology.
+
+LAURA: Caleb, can you Detect Magic on Fjord? Can
+you sense anything?
+
+LIAM: If you have 11 minutes to spare, yes I can.
+
+SAM: Can I just point out, not to be a jerk–
+
+TALIESIN: Is this about whales?
+
+LIAM: I begin ritual casting Detect Magic.
+
+MATT: As you’re doing that, you do get the sense
+that the longer you’re here, in a nexus between
+
+these numerous merrow tunnels, the higher your
+chance gets of having more arriving.
+
+LIAM: Oh man, ritual casting.
+
+LAURA: No, let’s get out of here.
+
+TALIESIN: This place is definitely making me
+nervous. We should do our best to cut off this
+
+particular flow-through.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe they were gathering a bunch of
+these items because they were looking for the
+
+exact one for this one.
+
+TALIESIN: I think they were trying to activate it.
+They were trying to please it.
+
+LAURA: Should we gather up all of the things and
+put them back up in the tree?
+
+SAM: Can we put them all in the bag?
+
+TRAVIS: Anybody want any of the weapons?
+Shortswords, longswords, battleaxes?
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s leave it exactly where they’re
+supposed to be so we did our job.
+
+SAM: What do you mean, “where they’re supposed to
+be?” They stole it from the smugglers.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re working for the smugglers. We’ll
+put it back in the safe house.
+
+LAURA: Okay, we’ll take it all back upstairs.
+
+MATT: You guys gather up as much as you can, take
+your way via the rope through the water, Kiri in
+
+tow. You make your way back up, handing things off
+up into the tunnel. Eventually, over the next hour
+
+or so, get most of what was down there that you
+could back up into the safe house.
+
+LAURA: Are any of the weapons that we found better
+than my handaxe?
+
+MATT: I mean, they’re all what they are.
+
+MARISHA: Any dope bos?
+
+LIAM: Just one.
+
+LAURA: You’re Beau. You’re looking for a staff?
+
+MARISHA: Bo staff?
+
+MATT: No quarterstaffs. They all appear to be
+steel weapons that are part of this cache. There
+
+is a long polearm– a halberd, there’s two of
+them– that does have a shaft of wood, but it’s
+
+designed for the weight of the bladed edge. You
+could break it off and make it a quarterstaff if
+
+you really wanted to, but it would be comparable
+to what you already have.
+
+MARISHA: No, I have a staff.
+
+SAM: Any shortswords better than my shortsword?
+
+MATT: They’re well-made and fresh.
+
+SAM: I like mine. Do they seem sharper, or
+deadlier?
+
+MATT: They’re less worn, but they’re not deadlier,
+per se.
+
+TRAVIS: Who’s holding onto the broken-off hilt?
+
+LAURA: I put it in the bag.
+
+TRAVIS: Do you mind if I carry that?
+
+TALIESIN: You know, yeah.
+
+LIAM: Can I take 30 seconds to see if it jogs my
+memory since I’m such a history buff?
+
+MATT: Yeah, make a history check.
+
+MARISHA: Can I assist him on that?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+MARISHA: You have assistance. Roll with
+advantage.
+
+LIAM: Nope. Big 13.
+
+MATT: Doesn’t jog your memory. It looks old. Looks
+like it’s been around a while.
+
+MARISHA: Can I try and do it myself and do a ki
+point thing?
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, you already aided somebody
+with it.
+
+TALIESIN: He wants to do this. See if it does
+anything. That’s fair.
+
+LAURA: Don’t try to stick this inside of you too,
+though, okay?
+
+TRAVIS: No, I’m not.
+
+SAM: We’re back up on the upper level?
+
+MATT: You guys are back in the safe house now,
+yes.
+
+SAM: Should we blow up the tunnel?
+
+TALIESIN: If it’s possible, I would love to cave
+this thing in.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have boom sticks still?
+
+SAM: I don’t, but two of us do. Wait, do I?
+
+TRAVIS: We have four sticks.
+
+LAURA: Won’t the sound attract all of the things?
+I feel like the sound will attract all of the
+
+merrow people.
+
+MARISHA: As long as we’re not here.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think they’re going to come up
+once we’re out of here. They’d have to dig through.
+
+SAM: We have two of them among us.
+
+TALIESIN: Mind like a steel trap.
+
+LIAM: I do not have any.
+
+TRAVIS: I just said we have two sticks.
+
+LIAM: I heard that, but who’s got them?
+
+MARISHA: Who’s got the sticks? We’ve got sticks.
+
+LIAM: I also have a propeller beanie, and a bag of
+chips, and– I heard you say that. Who has them?
+
+SAM: I think it’s Molly and Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t have any.
+
+ASHLEY: I have a tinderbox.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I don’t have any.
+
+MATT: Amongst you, you have two of those. Whoever
+has them, you’re fine.
+
+LIAM: We’re pretty sure we have them, guys.
+
+MARISHA: Light the damn sticks of dynamite! Just
+do it!
+
+LAURA: Oh man, wait, but– Oh, okay.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+LAURA: I wanted to check out those bodies that
+were downstairs.
+
+TALIESIN: We did.
+
+LAURA: No, the human skeletons that were down.
+
+SAM: They were probably smugglers that were
+keeping the safe house for the Gentleman.
+
+TALIESIN: We did check them.
+
+LAURA: They had manacles on them, though, didn’t
+they? That means they were slaves or something.
+
+SAM: Or taken prisoner.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s lots you can do with manacles.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, all right.
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: Blowing up a cave, I guess.
+
+TRAVIS: Climbing the rope back up top, to the base
+of the tree.
+
+MATT: You guys get up, you all get ready to go.
+You gather your things. (lighting dynamite) Watch
+
+it sparking. It disappears, you begin to leave. As
+you guys are all walking out of the storehouse,
+
+from behind you, off to the left, there’s a dull
+sound, and some dirt and water from the left side
+
+of the tree in the middle of the hot afternoon
+(muffled impact). The still water that currently
+
+exists around begins to slowly drain as a part of
+the swamp off to the side sinks down about ten
+
+feet or so. The water level drops a solid foot,
+but it comes to rest. You’re sure that whatever
+
+structure that remained down there before is now
+filled with dirt, sludge, swamp water, and rock.
+
+LIAM: I hope we brought Kiri with us.
+
+MATT: Kiri is with you.
+
+SAM: Oh my god!
+
+TRAVIS: “Why would they do that?!”
+
+ASHLEY: Can I take down the bodies that are on the
+trees?
+
+MATT: Okay. Is anybody helping you with that?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I’ll help.
+
+LIAM: Nope.
+
+ASHLEY: Leave them to rest in peace.
+
+MATT: Jester and Yasha start taking down the
+bloated bodies.
+
+LAURA: Why are we doing this?
+
+ASHLEY: So that people know that we took care of
+it. So it’s not a danger anymore.
+
+TALIESIN: And to rifle through their pockets, I
+imagine.
+
+MATT, SAM and LAURA: We already did.
+
+SAM: We’re the worst people ever.
+
+MATT: What are you doing with the bodies? Are you
+leaving them in the swamp to fester?
+
+LAURA: Should we put them in the water or
+something?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, food. It’s the circle of life.
+
+MATT: (singing) Circle of– You take them and pull
+them off-site, and leave them in a pile to become
+
+one with the swamp over time. It’s pretty gross
+work.
+
+TALIESIN: You want swamp things? This is how you
+get swamp things.
+
+MARISHA: While they bury bodies, I pull Caleb
+aside, and say: hey, can I talk to you for five
+
+seconds? Ten, maybe, tops. 15. Okay, it might be
+more like 20 seconds. Will you give me 20 seconds?
+
+Over here? No, you know what, it’s fine. I can say
+it in front of everybody. I’m sorry. I wanted to
+
+apologize for last night. I got a little
+aggressive, a little handsy. I shouldn’t have done
+
+that, I was out of line, and I shouldn’t have
+brought up your past shit. Sorry. See, 20 seconds,
+
+that was about right? That was good?
+
+TRAVIS: (whispers) Genuine.
+
+MARISHA: I’m– He’s just staring at me.
+
+LAURA: Caleb! Here’s where you respond to her.
+
+MARISHA: You saw the worst side of me–
+
+LIAM: I give Beauregard a hug, and say: I don’t
+know what I’m doing. Just go with it.
+
+MARISHA: I look at Fjord over my shoulder.
+
+LIAM: I look to Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: I hug him back? Do I go like this?
+
+TRAVIS: Not too tight.
+
+ASHLEY: Pat, pat.
+
+SAM: This makes me feel awkward.
+
+LAURA: It’s so uncomfortable.
+
+(applause)
+
+SAM: That was really good, guys!
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Caleb doesn’t laugh like that at all.
+(awkward laughing) That’s not necessary.
+
+SAM: Yes it is, she was really rude to you and–
+
+LIAM: Not. Necessary. Working on it.
+
+TRAVIS: Nice job.
+
+MARISHA: Was it? I don’t know how I feel about
+that. Good talk, friend. Seriously though, friend?
+
+LIAM: Ja okay.
+
+MARISHA: Ja? How do you say it?
+
+TRAVIS: (coughing) Quit while you’re ahead.
+
+MARISHA: All right. And I walk away.
+
+TALIESIN: Been a while.
+
+ASHLEY: It was good.
+
+LAURA: Hey Caleb, do you know how to find our way
+out of this swamp?
+
+SAM: Find our way out?
+
+LIAM: Of course I do.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, aren’t we done here?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re done, we’re heading out.
+
+SAM: I think we have (cocks crossbow) a troll
+to find.
+
+TRAVIS: Drunk-ass fucking Nott, dwelling on old
+shit.
+
+LIAM: You made Babs Tarr hide her head in her
+laptop, man!
+
+SAM: Or we could just leave.
+
+ASHLEY: I mean, that is 100 gold.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, but he almost killed us like super
+easy.
+
+TRAVIS: He bleeds death and stuff. We’d have to
+hit him from afar. It might not be worth it.
+
+LIAM: Well, my friends, whatever we do, we are
+really fucked up. At least Beauregard and I are
+
+really fucked up.
+
+LAURA: Well, I have a couple of level ones left.
+Blam blam!
+
+SAM: Did you just Salt Bae them?
+
+MATT: That is now my new favorite–
+
+LAURA: That’s great! You both heal 12 points!
+
+MARISHA: Oh my goodness! I’m almost up to full
+now!
+
+MATT: I think Salt Bae cleric is my new favorite
+idea for a character.
+
+ASHLEY: Was that for everyone?
+
+LAURA: No, that was just for them. I’m sorry,
+Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: No, it’s fine.
+
+TALIESIN: That was a great roll.
+
+LIAM: Shit, let’s go find Vecna!
+
+MATT: As you guys gather your things and begin to
+trudge southward, back into the Labenda Swamp to
+
+make your way back to the city of Barleben, a bit
+wounded, but you’ve succeeded in your first task
+
+for the Gentleman, you begin to make your way
+through the reverse guidance of Caleb in the
+
+direction you were traveling. Backward guidance,
+we’ll put it that way.
+
+LIAM: Reverse math. We came from that direction
+precisely.
+
+MATT: As you’re all taking a moment to look
+through, keeping your eyes peeled, weapons drawn,
+
+Fjord, your eyes catch the summoned falchion in
+your hand, and there, glittering in the center of
+
+the hilt, where there was none previously, is a
+single yellow eye.
+
+And that’s where we’re going to
+end tonight’s episode.
+
+(cheering)
+
+SAM: Wait, where was it?
+
+MATT: On the hilt of the blade.
+
+LIAM: Oh, that’s a Final Fantasy VII Materia
+rogue.
+
+MATT: That’s Materia slot?
+
+LAURA: His sword keeps getting cooler and cooler.
+
+MARISHA: It does.
+
+MATT: It’s like it’s the basis of his class.
+
+LIAM: Bling it out, man. Bling that shit out.
+
+MATT: All right. We’re going to pick up on that
+next Thursday, as you guys return. Oh man, shit’s
+
+getting interesting and weird. Thank you for
+hanging with us. Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as
+
+we did. Thank you, Babs, for being awesome and
+hanging out with us tonight. That was awesome.
+
+Have a wonderful week, we’ll see you guys next
+Thursday, we love you, and is it Thursday yet?
+
+[music]
+
+MATT: Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
+Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
+
+sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.
+
+(cheering)
+
+MATT: Before we get into the chaos of tonight’s
+game, we have some announcements to get through.
+
+First, beginning with our fantastic sponsor of
+campaign two, up to this point and going forward
+
+for hopefully infinity, D&D Beyond. Sam, if you
+want to take it away.
+
+SAM: I will indeed. Guys, D&D Beyond will be
+streaming tomorrow, June 15th, live from Origins
+
+Game F– Uh-oh. I’ve forgotten something in my
+car. Laura, take over.
+
+LAURA: Ugh, no, what is he doing to me? –from
+Origins Game Fair! Check out twitch.tv/DnDBeyond–
+
+N, not &– starting at 12:00 pm Eastern time, to
+catch interviews, the monthly D&D Beyon– What?
+
+SAM: Buenos noches, I am the masked vigilante
+named Storro. I fight injustice and defend the
+
+innocent in order to send them to the D&D Beyond
+Store-o.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, no.
+
+SAM: Mine is a dangerous cause, filled with scary
+monsters, vile beasts, devilish devils. All of
+
+them can be found in the various Monster Manuals
+at the D&D Beyond Store-o. Aha! What is this?! It
+
+is a generic tablet device, displaying a handsome
+array of content and inventory to streamline your
+
+tabletop gameplay. Why, this can only be the
+infamous handiwork of D&D Beyond. With my blade, I
+
+cut down on prep time, I slice my physical book
+collection in half, I slay the enemies of book
+
+management? For I am (click click click) Storro!
+And I will never stop fighting until our D&D
+
+Beyond contract expires! And then I will stop
+fighting! Hyah!
+
+TRAVIS: Who was that masked man?
+
+SAM: Oh boy, guys! What did–
+
+TRAVIS: Did you find what you needed in your car,
+Sam?
+
+SAM: Yeah, you know what? It was right here, it
+was this thing. Check out twitch.tv/DnDBeyond
+
+starting at 12:00 pm Eastern time to catch
+interviews, the monthly D&D Beyond dev update,
+
+Q&A, and a live play session with exclusive
+reveals from Dwarven Forge’s upcoming KS6. I don’t
+
+know what that is!
+
+MATT: Their sixth Kickstarter.
+
+LAURA: Oh! You didn’t plan a commercial at all
+this time.
+
+SAM: I didn’t plan any commercial today, it was
+just–
+
+TRAVIS: There was a guy that– you know what? It’s
+not important. Great job.
+
+MATT: Well done, buddy.
+
+MARISHA: It feels like the longest walk yet.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: You know the thing when you find a mask at
+home and you’re like, “I can do a bit with this!”
+
+That’s the whole thing.
+
+MATT: Thank you, Sam. And thank you, D&D Beyond.
+Storro lives on in our hearts. Hopefully only in
+
+our hearts. A few other updates. One: we have the
+standard editions of Vox Machina Origins are still
+
+available at Geek & Sundry and the Alpha online
+shops. The special editions are gone. So you can
+
+find details at critrole.com. Talks Machina is our
+after-show every Tuesday, and this episode’s
+
+episode will be next Tuesday at 7:00 pm Pacific
+time, where a number of members of our cast will
+
+be talking with our fantastic Cabbage Master,
+Brian W. Foster, to discuss the events of
+
+tonight’s evening’s episode. We’ll have giveaway
+prizes for Gif and Fanart of the Week. Make sure
+
+that you submit them to submit@talksmachina.com.
+Currently only U.S and Canada, excluding Quebec,
+
+are eligible to enter and win because of dumb
+rules. Also a reminder that Twitch Prime allows
+
+you, if you have your Amazon Prime account, to
+attach with your Twitch account to subscribe to a
+
+channel for free on Twitch once a month. If you
+can, do so. It’s free. And that is it, and that’s
+
+all; short announcements tonight.
+
+SAM: Wait.
+
+EVERYONE: Wait.
+
+LIAM: Wait, there’s one more. I have a thing. This
+is not an announcement. One of the artists in our
+
+community, Jason deBit, who’s been with us since
+the very beginning– old-school Critter, has made
+
+great art, he’s made art on his son’s sandwich
+bags for years, and he made a lot of Critical Role
+
+art, too. He contacted me a couple of weeks ago
+and said something’s coming, be on the lookout for
+
+it. He gave me a vague idea of what it was and
+didn’t prepare me for what I’m about to show you
+
+guys. It’s cabbage. So this is another example of
+how unbelievable the people in our audience are.
+
+So Jason had an idea in 2016 to take a sketchbook
+and mail it around to other artists in the community.
+
+This book and this box, because it’s covered
+in notes, I’ll let you guys look later, but this
+
+book has been traveling the planet since 2016.
+Instantly started crying looking at this book. The rules,
+
+“When you finish with this book, email Jason,
+yadda yadda, if you use a medium that bleeds–
+
+“Decorate it, send it on to the next person.” It’s
+been traveling. The very first one, I’ll find
+
+some– Kat Winslade has done art for ages. I
+can’t. I just can’t.
+
+MARISHA: Oh! It’s Darragh!
+
+LIAM: Yeah, Mikandii, Ameera, just a couple.
+Lloyd. I’m not going to do everyone justice, and
+
+I’m going to take pictures of this. Every single
+picture in here. I opened this up for the first
+
+time an hour before the show and was openly
+weeping, like Liam O'Brien is wont to do.
+
+Charlotte. There’s one more that I want to find
+that I really like. That one’s really good too.
+
+I’ll take pictures of all of them, but I can’t
+tell you how much this meant to me and obviously
+
+to all them seeing it for the first time. Thank
+you. We have the best audience on planet Earth,
+
+bar none. Legitimately, thank you. Really, really,
+thank you. I’m looking at the wrong camera.
+
+Amazing.
+
+TRAVIS: It doesn’t matter, that’s incredible.
+Wow.
+
+LIAM: We’ll pass it around. Everyone will see it.
+The audience will all see it. Thank you.
+
+MATT: There will be tears at break.
+
+LIAM: (fake crying) Okay, we’d better start the
+game!
+
+MATT: Thank you guys so much, oh my god. No, we’re
+good. And on that note, let’s bring us into
+
+tonight’s episode of Critical Role.
+
+[click, TV static]
+
+[groovy Critical Role theme]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everyone. Last we left off,
+The Mighty Nein had been traversing northward
+
+towards the Labenda Swamp, to make good on the
+first of two jobs they had accepted from The
+
+Gentleman back in Zadash. Upon traveling
+northward, you made a young feathered friend by
+
+the name of Kiri, who’s been under your protection
+since. You briefly met Cali, who is a
+
+dragon-blooded sorcerer who joined you for a
+length of the journey. You managed to discover
+
+where the seemingly cut-off and abandoned safe
+house was. Beneath it, discovered what had been
+
+responsible for it going silent, by an underground
+tunnel network run by swamp merrow. You engaged
+
+with them, found a strange altar room where they
+had amassed everything they had stolen from the
+
+safe house, slaughtered the present shallow priest
+and his protectors, took what was necessary and
+
+what was of interest from that pile, including an
+interesting orb, made your way back out, closed
+
+the pathway the merrow had to the safe house, thus
+establishing its true safety once more, and
+
+completing the job of which you were tasked.
+There, you spent an evening resting, and began
+
+heading back out to return from the northern
+center of Labenda Swamp towards the town of
+
+Berleben, and to where the next leg of your
+journey takes you. Mighty Nein, as you begin
+
+heading southward into the daytime of the thick,
+heavy swamp, what would you like to do?
+
+TRAVIS: I forget, are we returning back to report
+in between missions, or are we doing a twofer?
+
+LAURA: I can send a message to the Gentleman, so
+we don’t have to go back.
+
+SAM: How can you do that? He’s terribly far away.
+
+LAURA: I keep wanting to use this spell that I
+have, but I haven’t been able to do it yet.
+
+TRAVIS: What spell’s that?
+
+LAURA: It’s called Sending.
+
+TRAVIS: Sending?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, I can send a message.
+
+LIAM: That is a literal description.
+
+TRAVIS: I guess that would cover it, then.
+
+LAURA: But it’s one of my most powerful spells,
+you guys, so if we’re going to fight somebody, I
+
+don’t know if it’s smart.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you send an actual message, or is it a
+piece of paper?
+
+LAURA: It’s like a piece of paper of the mind.
+
+ASHLEY: Ooh.
+
+TRAVIS: You lost me a little.
+
+LAURA: Do you want me to do it?
+
+SAM: Shouldn’t we get out of the swamp first? What
+if there are scaries around?
+
+TRAVIS: What time is it about, in the sky parts?
+
+MATT: If I recall, you guys had taken a long rest
+after your previous battle, so now it’s
+
+mid-morning, I’d say.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester, maybe not just yet. Maybe before
+we go to sleep.
+
+LAURA: At the end of the day?
+
+TALIESIN: Well, like so many good things, we can
+do it back when we get to the hotel.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Do we want to go find that troll
+guy?
+
+ASHLEY: To get that 100 gold back?
+
+MARISHA: I did almost die, which was pretty
+awesome.
+
+TRAVIS: And remember, he bleeds damaging liquids.
+
+LAURA: So we stay far away this time.
+
+MARISHA: Do we have any more boom-boom sticks?
+
+SAM: I think we have one. We can go blow up his
+house. That seems petty.
+
+TRAVIS: Or something that we would totally do.
+
+MARISHA: He almost killed me and definitely killed
+our guide.
+
+SAM: Yeah, we should blow up his house.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m down for that.
+
+MARISHA: Sounds fun.
+
+TRAVIS: Two votes. Three votes. Four, five votes.
+
+LIAM: I defer to the group.
+
+TRAVIS: Are you abstaining?
+
+LIAM: No. Okay, let’s go. I do not have a cat in
+this hunt, but whatever you want to do, I will
+
+support.
+
+ASHLEY: Throw it in and see how it goes, and then
+we can run if he’s– How do we know if he’s in
+
+there, though?
+
+TALIESIN: You can sneak up, take a look, rob it,
+and then throw a stick of dynamite in just
+
+because, if we’re going to be those people. What
+happens if he’s actually there?
+
+MARISHA: Wait, what do you mean by “those people”?
+Do you know a lot of people who throw dynamite in houses?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah. I feel like that’s pretty obvious,
+at this point.
+
+TRAVIS: I feel like I knew that about you.
+
+TALIESIN: I just like having a game plan.
+
+TRAVIS: Sure. Maybe we have Nott bolt in, right,
+everybody else stand back, because you’re super
+
+fast, right?
+
+SAM: Yeah, I guess.
+
+TRAVIS: Very dextrous?
+
+SAM: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, then you run in and toss that
+sucker. If he pops out, we light it up from afar.
+
+SAM: So I’m going to be carrying an explosive
+device into a troll’s house, solo?
+
+LAURA: No, you just throw it in the door. You
+don’t have to walk in.
+
+SAM: Just to play troll’s advocate here, what if
+it’s not his house?
+
+LAURA: I know. That’s the thing, right?
+
+SAM: What if we’re blowing up an innocent troll’s
+house?
+
+TALIESIN: Then we should rob it first.
+
+LAURA: We’ll send Frumpkin in first.
+
+TALIESIN: There’ll be a body curing, if it is his
+house. We’ll know, because there’ll be a body
+
+curing and getting nice and ripe.
+
+LIAM: We also had no qualms about sending a highly
+decorated richter to the guillotine, so I don’t
+
+know why we are getting tied up over a troll.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel that as well.
+
+MARISHA: He definitely has 100 gold on him. Just
+saying. Possibly so much more.
+
+SAM: Let’s go check it out.
+
+LAURA: It’s on the way back, anyway.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll give you the dynamite, and if
+anything seems like it goes wrong, you can
+
+immediately signal Caleb, and we’ll bring the
+cavalry in.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TRAVIS: Caleb, you got that photographic memory.
+You remember where those damn daggers are in the trees?
+
+LIAM: I remember the way. This way.
+
+MATT: What is your marching order, if I could
+ask?
+
+LIAM: Oh boy. I am right behind whoever’s in the
+lead.
+
+MATT: All righty. Who’s in the lead, guys?
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Fjord.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll go behind Caleb.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll go behind Yasha.
+
+LAURA: I’ll go next to Molly.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll take up the rear.
+
+MATT: All right. Nott?
+
+SAM: 30 feet to the right.
+
+MATT: And Kiri will stay with Jester.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, she can ride on my shoulders again.
+
+MATT: And Frumpkin?
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin is scarfing it on my shoulders.
+
+MATT: Got it. Fjord, does that mean you’re leading
+through? Who’s responsible for navigating?
+
+LIAM: I’m a couple steps behind Fjord, saying
+“that way” once in a while.
+
+MATT: Make a survival check, please.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m glad that’s you.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s not bad.
+
+LIAM: That is a 15.
+
+MATT: Very good!
+
+MARISHA: You get a gold star, very good!
+
+MATT: You follow the pearl-handled daggers along
+the treeline until eventually, you break southward
+
+to the northern side of the Ounterloch. You
+continue to follow it southwestward from your
+
+current position, curving around the outside of
+the lake. Eventually, you make your way back to
+
+the treeline where you were before. At one point,
+there’s a faint shift in the greenery– looks like
+
+a vine maybe has moved– and you, recognizing the
+placement of it, manage to stop Fjord from
+
+stepping into it. As you pull him back, you guys
+watch as there is now a cluster of vines at the
+
+base of one of these trees, and what looks like
+thorns on them, appear to be jagged and in rows–
+
+LAURA: Is it a trap? Or is it organic?
+
+MATT: You don’t know.
+
+LIAM: I’m sorry, DM, could you say that again
+because I was busy rubbing it into Travis that
+
+Caleb is stronger than Fjord.
+
+SAM: Vines.
+
+MATT: You saw a patch of vines that were tangled
+at the base of one of these trees that you managed
+
+to stop Fjord before stepping into the area.
+
+TALIESIN: Do we recognize these vines and what
+kind of plant this is?
+
+MATT: Make a nature check.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see how this goes. No.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a scan and look around?
+
+LAURA: Nott, it could be a trap, come look and see
+if it’s a trap.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’m coming.
+
+MARISHA: Can I do a scan and see if I see anybody
+responsible for making the vines move?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: Wow.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, man, it’s pretty bad. Eight. Nope,
+ten. Still getting used to my stats.
+
+MATT: You don’t see anybody responsible for that.
+
+SAM: I will visually inspect it for traps.
+
+MATT: All right, make an investigation check.
+
+SAM: Nope!
+
+LIAM: We want the numbers, though.
+
+SAM: Eight.
+
+MATT: Does not appear to be trapped. There are no
+other cables or lines, you don’t see any signs of
+
+anything else either holding any tautness to it.
+They seem slack.
+
+LAURA: Can I follow the vines along and see where
+they’re coming from?
+
+MATT: As you look at them, they’re just centered
+there at the base. They either might be coming out
+
+from under the tree or part of a plant network
+right there.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a weird idea.
+
+SAM: Let’s walk around them.
+
+TALIESIN: Everybody back up a bit. I’m going to
+take a little bit of my jerky, I’m going to wrap
+
+it around a ball bearing, make a little baseball
+out of it. I’m going to chuck it right into the
+
+middle of the vines.
+
+MARISHA: What, no! It’s good jerky!
+
+LAURA: Yeah! Do it!
+
+MATT: As soon as you hear Beau’s words, “It’s good
+jerky!”, you watch as the vines suddenly wrap
+
+around where it was and begin to coalesce and
+twist around it. You watch as they tighten and
+
+tear and hold there.
+
+TALIESIN: I love camping.
+
+LIAM: Feed me!
+
+MATT: Then they begin to slowly shift in your
+direction. The vines– (moving noises)
+
+TRAVIS: Back up!
+
+LAURA: Oh, no, it’s one of those things again,
+just go around it!
+
+MARISHA: Let’s just run! We’re just going to go.
+
+MATT: It’s not very quick. You watch as this poor
+cluster of jagged vines, different than the
+
+man-trap you’d encountered before, slowly circle
+around and eventually give up after you guys very
+
+easily make your distance.
+
+LAURA: I throw little bits of moldy pastries at it
+because I feel sorry for it.
+
+MARISHA: Aww, feeding the plants.
+
+TRAVIS: And it throws it back.
+
+MATT: Doesn’t seem to have much interest in them,
+unfortunately.
+
+LAURA: Well, it’s still really good.
+
+ASHLEY: It’ll get hungry. Maybe later.
+
+MATT: Pressing on, you’re heading back to
+Berleben, or are you searching for this hollow you
+
+found before?
+
+LIAM: I was leading everyone back to where this
+troll was.
+
+MATT: Make another survival check for me, please.
+
+LIAM: I know exactly the direction of north, and I
+remember where we were, that is a nine.
+
+LAURA: You know we’re going to get lost in this
+swamp forever.
+
+LIAM: But I have perfect memory.
+
+MATT: You have firm memory of directions. You know
+which direction you’re traveling, and you have–
+
+LIAM: But it all looks the same.
+
+MATT: Yeah. You don’t have the ability to suddenly
+know where everything is that you’ve been. You
+
+have a good sense of it, and you can guide better
+than most, given most circumstances. But you also
+
+have not grown up in a swamp, and after a while,
+the pattern recognition begins to fade a bit and
+
+you discover, after you’ve been circling for a bit,
+stumbling upon your own footfalls, you’ve lost
+
+about two hours of travel in the middle of the
+swamp.
+
+LAURA and ASHLEY: Oh, no!
+
+LIAM: It looks just the way I remembered it
+though.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we circled around for two hours the
+first time and we just didn’t realize it.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s entirely possible.
+
+MATT: Knowing that, you do take knowledge of the
+current source of sunlight above the canopy.
+
+Following that, heading in the western direction
+from where you were, eventually you come across
+
+that similar sound: distant chimes.
+
+SAM: What was that?
+
+LAURA: Those were the bone chimes!
+
+SAM: Oh no! That’s scarier than wind chimes.
+
+LAURA: Should we be stealthy?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we should be stealthy.
+
+LAURA: Should I cast Pass Without a Trace on us?
+
+LIAM and SAM: Yes.
+
+SAM: Is that all of us?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. Stay within 30 feet of me, okay?
+
+TRAVIS: Big times are coming, Nott.
+
+SAM: I don’t want to, don’t make me go in there.
+It’s a troll house.
+
+LAURA: Nott!
+
+SAM: What?
+
+LAURA: Bless you. Now you have advantage on
+stealth checks.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: So are you all staying back?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: How far back are you staying?
+
+MARISHA: Should we do a circle, surround the
+perimeter, just in case?
+
+LAURA: Let’s do a semicircle around where the door
+is.
+
+MATT: Here, this will make it easy to establish
+the scenario.
+
+SAM: He’s got a map.
+
+TALIESIN: We remember what not to do, right, which
+is–
+
+SAM: No, what?
+
+LAURA: Don’t attack him up close. Don’t let him
+get close to us.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah guys, distance is key.
+
+MATT: There is the hollow, with the central tree
+there.
+
+TRAVIS: And we’re coming from?
+
+MATT: You guys are coming this direction, so north
+would be that direction. You guys are heading this
+
+way. Where would you guys like to be placed?
+
+SAM: Semicircle right there?
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+LIAM: I would like to be on the absolute side of
+the semicircle, please.
+
+LAURA: Is this rough terrain, is this swampy or is
+this normal ground?
+
+MATT: It’s normal ground where it’s green and then
+rough terrain where it’s water.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Oh, that’s– Oh no.
+
+MATT: Kiri has her dagger out and is currently–
+
+LAURA: Oh no! Kiri, stay behind this tree next to
+me.
+
+MATT: There?
+
+LAURA: No, behind it. Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Hiding in that tree.
+
+ASHLEY: I feel a little exposed.
+
+SAM: Nott’s over there.
+
+MATT: There you go. As you’re preparing yourself,
+Kiri looks over to you with a big smile with the
+
+dagger out and goes (as Jester), “I don’t know if
+it’s smart.”
+
+SAM: Kiri, I don’t either. Give me the boomstick.
+
+LAURA: Who has the boomstick?
+
+TRAVIS: You do now.
+
+SAM: I have the boomstick.
+
+LAURA: Okay, be stealthy. You have advantage.
+
+SAM: What am I doing? I’m going to see if this is
+the troll’s place.
+
+LAURA: You’re going to see if the troll is
+inside–
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to take everything that you
+can grab in there.
+
+ASHLEY: Frumpkin’s not going in?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s an unnecessary step. Just blow that
+thing up, man!
+
+LAURA: What if the troll’s not in there, though?
+
+TRAVIS: Then you blow it up anyway!
+
+LAURA: Then we can go steal stuff.
+
+MARISHA: Do we go steal stuff and bounce?
+
+TALIESIN: And then blow it up and run.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+LAURA: So find out if he’s in there.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, is Frumpkin dead? Not to be
+insensitive.
+
+LIAM: You just touched his tail.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, hey buddy. Sorry.
+
+LAURA: Maybe he should go in there.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, maybe we send Frumpkin first.
+
+SAM: But Frumpkin’s not as– I mean, yes, that
+would be great. But Frumpkin’s not as stealthy as
+
+I am.
+
+TRAVIS: If you want, I can go.
+
+LIAM: You cast Pass without a Trace on all of us.
+
+LAURA: Yeah.
+
+SAM: I’m okay.
+
+TALIESIN: But it’s only up to 30 feet away from
+her.
+
+LAURA: That’s true.
+
+SAM: I have advantage, though.
+
+LAURA: Okay, go in there, Nott. Do it.
+
+SAM: I’m going to run up, stealthily.
+
+MATT: Roll your stealth with advantage, Nott, as
+you come up along the side.
+
+LIAM: Plus ten.
+
+SAM and MATT: It’s not plus ten.
+
+LIAM: I thought that–
+
+LAURA: It has to be within 30 feet.
+
+SAM: 22.
+
+MATT: All right.
+
+LAURA: So Caleb, you’ve got plus ten right now.
+
+MATT: As quietly as you can, you turn around the
+corner, walk this little swampy land bridge,
+
+dipping down to about your waist in swamp water,
+but in a very slow, steady path, begin to emerge,
+
+your foot finding the roots at the base of this
+large, now hollowed tree. You turn around the
+
+corner–
+
+SAM: I’m wearing my Ring of Waterwalking, by the
+way.
+
+MATT: That’s true, you do actually. So you (tip
+tap) across it. The softest ninja run you’ve ever
+
+seen. You can almost hear Dance of the Sugar Plum
+Fairies as you go. Glancing inside, you do see
+
+currently in the process of chewing something. You
+hear a crunching sound, and then a slurping sound,
+
+and then some subtle (eating noises).
+
+TRAVIS: Smoke that for me!
+
+SAM: I will stealthily back away so there’s no way
+he can see me. To the side, and I will–
+
+LAURA: Wait, can we all hold our attacks for as
+soon as the troll comes out of the tree?
+
+MATT: Do you want to hold actions when it comes to
+it?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll hold Eldritch Blast until he’s
+visible.
+
+LIAM: I will hold Fire Bolt.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll hold a throwing star.
+
+MATT: Essentially it would be a surprise round, so
+you wouldn’t have to worry about holding necessarily.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MATT: He doesn’t seem to know you’re there.
+
+SAM: Am I able to light the boom-boom stick?
+
+MATT: Do you have flint and steel in your
+equipment?
+
+SAM: I’m looking.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: Did we send him out there without
+matches?
+
+ASHLEY: Great idea.
+
+SAM: I have thieves’ tools? And I have acid.
+
+LAURA: Well, sneak back here!
+
+LIAM: I pull out the wire and say, “What are you
+doing? Throw it in!”
+
+SAM: I don’t have a match!
+
+LIAM: Oh. I could light it from here if you just
+toss it down and dive.
+
+SAM: What?
+
+ASHLEY: I have… I probably can’t hear you guys.
+
+MARISHA: Like, you throw a Fireball and make it
+go?
+
+SAM: I’m going to come back!
+
+MARISHA: Oh my God!
+
+MATT: Nott scoots back around the corner. As you
+guys are all waiting patiently,
+
+TRAVIS: How’s it look?
+
+SAM: It’s definitely the troll. I just need
+someone to light this for me. Or give me a match.
+
+Or something, or light something on fire.
+
+LAURA: Just use your thing! Don’t you have, like,
+Burning Hands or something?
+
+LIAM: It’s hard to control.
+
+LAURA: Just light a finger on fire and just touch
+the thing.
+
+ASHLEY: I have a tinderbox.
+
+SAM: Oh, great! Great!
+
+TRAVIS: But is it a long wick?
+
+MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: It’s about that long.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, geez!
+
+MATT: Make an intelligence check, actually.
+
+LAURA: You could run and do it.
+
+SAM: Intelligence? Eight plus something.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s good.
+
+SAM: Intelligence check. 11?
+
+MATT: 11? You have some understanding of basic
+alchemy; you know probably the way this is treated
+
+it won’t burn super fast. You’re not sure. You
+could have anywhere between 24 to six seconds once lit.
+
+TRAVIS: This is such a drunk Fourth of July problem.
+
+TALIESIN: You have full running speed, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Jester!
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: Go with him!
+
+LAURA: Why?
+
+TRAVIS: You’ve got Pass Without Trace, just go
+with him!
+
+LAURA: Why do you want me to die?
+
+MARISHA: It’ll look really cool when you’re
+running away from it, though, when it’s exploding.
+
+LAURA: You’re right, it will! Okay, I’m gonna
+follow 30 feet behind Nott as we’re going up.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Okay, I’m going to cast Mage Hand to hold the
+dynamite.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay, good.
+
+SAM: Okay, so Mage Hand is holding the dynamite.
+Go ahead and light it, Yasha.
+
+MATT: Wait, so where are you, then?
+
+SAM: I am near Yasha.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you move over.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get behind that tree and
+activate my swords.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to get within 30 feet of Nott.
+
+MATT: Both swords ignited.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, dear.
+
+LAURA: And I’m within 30 feet of Nott.
+
+MATT: So you move over here with Yasha, then?
+
+LAURA: Sure, I guess?
+
+MATT: Okay, there’s now this floating piece of
+dynamite just kind of gliding over the swamp. You
+
+hear the insects buzzing and various dragonflies
+making their way through. So you have it now floating
+
+in front of you, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, I’ll light it.
+
+MATT: It’s going!
+
+SAM: Okay! I’m going to move toward the thing and
+make Mage Hand go in front of me all the way into
+
+the hole.
+
+MATT: Okay. You get right around this corner. Make
+another stealth check as you’ve now dilly-dallied
+
+around for a bit.
+
+LAURA: Oh, that’s good, you still have advantage.
+
+SAM: Okay. 25.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: And you’re within 30 feet, right?
+
+LAURA: Oh! And plus ten!
+
+SAM: 35!
+
+MATT: No idea you’re there. But there is a faint
+(hissing) sound and from the inside you see the
+
+shifting movement of the large hulking troll beast
+on the inside of the hollow kind of pause for a
+
+second in the middle of chewing.
+
+SAM: The mage hand is going in!
+
+MATT: Silence.
+
+LAURA: But I–
+
+SAM: What did you do?
+
+(massive explosion)
+
+MATT: If I could get a pair of scissors, please.
+
+SAM: What? You’re going to cut your beautiful
+work?
+
+MATT: Well yeah, you blew it apart!
+
+(laughter, cheering)
+
+MATT: Thank you kindly.
+
+TRAVIS: Look, it’s got roots and all sorts of
+beautiful things.
+
+LIAM: “If I could get a pair of scissors,
+please?”
+
+SAM: Should we start bringing cherry bombs?
+
+LAURA: Attack, attack, attack!
+
+MATT: Okay, so first off–
+
+MARISHA: That was the coolest!
+
+MATT: Disadvantage on its dexterity saving throw;
+fails. Go ahead and roll 2d6 for me please.
+
+SAM: Me? Okay.
+
+LAURA: That’s only 2d6 of damage? Oh no!
+
+SAM: Double ones.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Ooh, that’s some stale dynamite.
+
+TALIESIN: That was a bottle rocket.
+
+MATT: A concussive blast blows apart the hollow.
+You see pieces of shrapnel go flying in every
+
+direction. The only one who is not currently
+protected is you, Nott. I need you to make a
+
+dexterity saving throw, please.
+
+SAM: On my own blast?
+
+MATT: Well, not from the blast. This is from the
+shrapnel of the tree hollow that has exploded
+
+outwards in all directions.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m unprotected.
+
+MATT: You’re far enough away where I don’t think
+it would get to you.
+
+SAM: 11.
+
+MATT: That’s okay. You take half damage.
+
+LAURA: If you take so much more–
+
+MATT: You take three points of bludgeoning damage
+from pieces of wood flying in your direction. The
+
+troll is, however, knocked prone.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: He’s harder to hit from a distance, at
+the moment.
+
+MATT: From a distance, yeah. However, I need
+everyone to roll initiative.
+
+SAM: We did this to ourselves.
+
+LIAM: Yes! Natural 20!
+
+MATT: He’s aware that you guys are there now.
+
+MARISHA: You think?
+
+MATT: We’ll say, for the purposes of this, I’ll give
+you each one action to do something.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+SAM: Not me, I did my action.
+
+LIAM: I like that the blast didn’t knock him down.
+He was just so scared to death. He went, “Ah!”
+
+MATT: 25 to 20?
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+SAM: 20.
+
+MATT: A natural 20 on his– Sorry, Caleb was?
+
+LIAM: 21.
+
+MATT: And Nott, was it?
+
+SAM: 20. Where’s that music, Matt?
+
+TRAVIS: I just want to know yours first
+all the time.
+
+ASHLEY: What?
+
+TRAVIS: I want to know what you rolled.
+
+ASHLEY: Mine is like, two!
+
+MATT: 20 to 15?
+
+TALIESIN: 19.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, man.
+
+MATT: 15 to ten?
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+TRAVIS: There you go, come on.
+
+ASHLEY: 12. Moving on up!
+
+MATT: Ten to five?
+
+LAURA: Seven.
+
+MATT: What you got, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord got a four.
+
+SAM: A fjour.
+
+MARISHA: A fjour by Fjord.
+
+MATT: I think this is a surprise round. The troll
+cannot act this turn. We’ll just let it go that
+
+way, because he’d be going up with you, Caleb, on
+the same turn. He’s on the ground, dazed and
+
+stunned. What are you doing?
+
+LIAM: A Firebolt goes from my hand. That is a
+natural 20.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, come on now!
+
+LIAM: With my Vax die, we will use this one. That
+is a three– 11. Doubled is 22.
+
+MATT: 22 points of fire damage. Nice. The bolt
+impacts, the flame curls across his now currently
+
+black, blasted chest and back area. The flames, as
+you noticed in a previous battle, has prevented
+
+its regeneration.
+
+LIAM: I didn’t actually even want to come here.
+Ah!
+
+ASHLEY: He can regenerate?
+
+LAURA: He can’t; he’s burned.
+
+MARISHA: They do normally, though.
+
+TRAVIS: Fire!
+
+MATT: From the battles you’ve had and from
+watching the previous strike, you now notice the
+
+impact, and as the time progresses over the next
+round, the wounds are not knitting themselves back
+
+together. So, that finishes your turn. Are you
+going to move?
+
+LIAM: No. I’ll stay where I am.
+
+MATT: Finishing Caleb’s go. Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll shoot my crossbow and miss, with a
+nine.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage because he’s currently
+prone.
+
+SAM: Disadvantage? I already missed.
+
+MATT: I just wanted to see if you rolled lower.
+
+SAM: Still nine.
+
+MATT: Good to know. First shot misses.
+
+SAM: Oh, I get another one?
+
+MATT: I’m letting you guys have a full surprise
+round, because technically he’s dazed.
+
+SAM: Oh, that’s no good. 13?
+
+MATT: 13 does not hit.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: It manages to ricochet off of the outer
+parts of its hide. Even though it’s burnt and
+
+scarred, it’s still thick. You watch as the bolt
+reflects off it. Molly, you’re up and then Beau.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to come out from behind my
+tree right there, just a little bit so I can see
+
+him. I’m going to try and Enthrall him, because I
+don’t have any good stuff that I can do from a
+
+distance.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: (singing) From a distance!
+
+MATT: Spell DC on that is charisma-based, so it’s
+a ten, correct?
+
+TALIESIN: Is it charisma-based? That’s right.
+
+MATT: All of your racial abilities are
+charisma-based.
+
+TALIESIN: Because it says wisdom I get so–
+
+MATT: That is a 12, so it does not succeed.
+
+TALIESIN: It does not succeed?
+
+MATT: No, sorry, I mean–
+
+TALIESIN: It does succeed.
+
+MATT: Meaning your ability does not succeed.
+That’s your action. You still have 25 feet of
+
+movement if you want do anything.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m actually going to sort of stand out
+in the– I’m going to move a couple feet out–
+
+there. And just start yelling at him: Hey– hey
+you fucker, you got– We got more than that! Where
+
+we– Come on! Bring it! I don’t know what I’m
+doing! Too much caffeine!
+
+MATT: Perfect.
+
+TRAVIS: The wires crossed!
+
+TALIESIN: That all happened in there. That all
+happened.
+
+MATT: That finishes Molly’s turn. Beau, you’re
+up.
+
+TALIESIN: Good thing nobody in the world saw
+that.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to move up my speed pretty far,
+because I think I have to be within 20 feet for
+
+these darts.
+
+MATT: Keeping on the green, you can get about
+there, and he is within 20 feet of you.
+
+LAURA: Can you not get within close range of him
+again?
+
+MARISHA: I’m not!
+
+TRAVIS: You are just inching up.
+
+MARISHA: I have throwing darts that only go 20
+feet, and I’m a melee fighter, man!
+
+TRAVIS: He stole you last time. You should have
+PTSD from this.
+
+MARISHA: Have you met Beau?
+
+TRAVIS: You’re right.
+
+MATT: You have disadvantage on the attacks,
+because he’s prone.
+
+MARISHA: Oh right, okay. First attack. 19.
+
+MATT: 19 hits!
+
+MARISHA: On the first one. We celebrated too soon.
+A natural 20 and a seven! So 14.
+
+MATT: 14 misses, unfortunately, but the first
+strike does hit.
+
+LIAM: Get up there and grapple him, and I’ll send
+projectiles.
+
+MARISHA: That sucks. Four damage.
+
+MATT: Four points of damage to the troll.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to spend a ki point–
+
+MATT: As you throw it, you watch as it splinters
+off of its body and there is a splash of poisonous
+
+toxin.
+
+MARISHA: Like a rock in his face!
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, like a pebble.
+
+MARISHA: Like a pebble! I’m going to use a ki
+point to do Patient Defense.
+
+MATT: All right, you go into your defensive
+stance, preparing for any sort of assault towards
+
+you. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Did I go my full speed?
+
+MATT: No, you didn’t.
+
+MARISHA: Can I move back a little?
+
+MATT: If you want to, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: One more, that’s good.
+
+MATT: All right, there you go. Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: I don’t want to move close to it. May I
+hold my action until it gets–
+
+LAURA: This is a surprise attack, though.
+
+ASHLEY: I know it’s a surprise attack, I just
+don’t have any ranged weapons or anything. I can
+
+go up and hit him.
+
+MATT: It’s up to you. If you don’t move, you don’t
+get to move later until your next turn. So if
+
+you’re going to move, do it now, and then hold
+your action for whatever trigger you want.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, let me move around by Beau.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, next to Beau.
+
+MATT: And you’re holding an attack?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m holding an attack.
+
+MATT: Okay, you are readying an attack, for what?
+What’s the trigger? Comes within range? Got it.
+
+Okay, that finishes Yasha’s turn. Jester, you’re
+up.
+
+LAURA: That’s me! I’m going to cast Spiritual
+Weapon right above it!
+
+MATT: Right above it!
+
+LAURA: And it’s going to hit him!
+
+MATT: All right, roll for your attack.
+
+LAURA: It’s not at disadvantage, because it’s
+melee, right?
+
+MATT: Correct. Technically it’s at advantage,
+because it is prone. I imagine it’s considered a
+
+melee attack.
+
+TALIESIN and LAURA: Ooh!
+
+LAURA: 19 plus something, so that definitely
+hits.
+
+MATT: That definitely hits, roll damage on that.
+
+LAURA: That’s 1d8, because I did it wrong before.
+That’s five plus seven.
+
+MATT: 12 points of damage as the lollipop (whack)
+slams down onto its body. It rears back. This
+
+awkward, sickly looking creature being bashed by
+beautiful, glistening, divine lollipop. It’s a
+
+unique visual.
+
+LAURA: Eat it, troll! Then I am going to use my
+bonus action to ring a spiritual bell and Toll the Dead!
+
+MATT: You mean you used your bonus action for the
+Spirit, and your action for the–
+
+LAURA: Yes, that’s what I mean! He’s got to make a
+wisdom save of 15.
+
+MATT: Wisdom or constitution? Wisdom, all right.
+That is a four.
+
+LAURA: Yeah! So that’s 2d12!
+
+MATT: Yeah it is!
+
+TRAVIS: Rock it!
+
+LAURA: Ooh! 14!
+
+MARISHA: Making up for last week!
+
+MATT: Apparently. All righty, that ends Jester’s
+go.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to stay right there.
+
+MATT: All righty, Fjord, you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll move forward ten feet, and, with my
+bonus action, cast Hex on him for strength checks.
+
+MATT: All righty, strength checks are denied onto
+him for disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: Denied, and I’ll launch two Eldritch
+Blasts in his direction.
+
+MATT: Go for it, both at disadvantage.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a ten on the first; that’s going to
+miss.
+
+MATT: Misses over top.
+
+TRAVIS: And 19 to hit.
+
+MATT: That does hit, roll damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Seven! Seven points of damage! Wait, and a
+d6.
+
+MATT: A d6 from your Hex, don’t forget that.
+
+TRAVIS: Another four, total of ten.
+
+MATT: 11, technically.
+
+ASHLEY: Is he looking rough?
+
+LAURA: He’s looking pretty rough.
+
+MATT: No, he’s all right. I mean, he looks hurt.
+Top of the round, Caleb and the troll going at the
+
+same time. Because you are going at the same time
+with the enemy, roll a dexterity check. Roll a
+
+d20, add your dexterity modifier.
+
+LIAM: It’s pretty high, I reckon. Nope, that is a
+seven.
+
+MATT: He’s going before you. Gets up in its space,
+that’s half his movement.
+
+LAURA: Ooh, he’s so ugly!
+
+MATT: (counting) 15.
+
+MARISHA: Ha ha ha!
+
+LAURA: Don’t laugh yet.
+
+MATT: It’s going to use an action to dash forward
+in front of you.
+
+SAM AND LAURA: Oh no!
+
+LAURA: Run away.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, we can’t fucking hit him.
+
+LAURA: We can’t attack him until you guys move.
+
+MATT: You know what? He’s not. He’s going to stay
+there, and instead he’s going to go ahead and use
+
+his venom spray. It lumbers forward, it’s
+darkened, with angry, blasted soot and flame
+
+scars, it rumbles toward you, its strange bulbous
+midsection wobbling as it steps through the swamp
+
+towards you. It looks like an even more swollen
+Meg Mucklebones from Legend. Reaches up with its
+
+claw and tears a giant wound across its chest. As
+it does, dark green venomous liquid sprays out in
+
+a 15-foot cube in front of it, hitting both of
+you. I need you both to make a constitution saving
+
+throw, please. It takes seven points of damage
+from its own claw.
+
+TRAVIS: We had to have 100 gold, didn’t we?
+
+MARISHA: Does my Patient Defense do anything
+here?
+
+LAURA: This is not about the gold, Fjord!
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+LAURA: This is a reckoning!
+
+ASHLEY: Just a straight roll, yeah? 11.
+
+MATT: Okay, you just make it. The DC was 16.
+
+TRAVIS: Hah. You’re like, I made it.
+
+ASHLEY: I made it. You’re telling me there’s a
+chance.
+
+MATT: That is exactly what you needed. 18 points
+of poison damage to you, Yasha, and you are
+
+poisoned for one minute.
+
+SAM and LAURA: Oh no.
+
+MATT: You take nine points of poison damage, Beau,
+and you are not poisoned.
+
+TALIESIN: But you can save against that, right?
+Every turn?
+
+MATT: Yep. At the end of each turn, you can repeat
+the saving throw to try and get rid of the poison,
+
+so that’s going to end its turn. Next, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, okay, so I’m going to keep it simple.
+I will move as close as I can, probably getting
+
+close to Mollymauk.
+
+MATT: Right there?
+
+LIAM: Ja. I will hit him with some Magic M– No.
+Is he within splashing range of you all? Did you
+
+just get hit?
+
+TRAVIS: No, not with blood spray.
+
+LIAM: I’ll hit him with Magic Missile.
+
+MATT: What level?
+
+LIAM: The basic level.
+
+MATT: Three missiles. 3d4 plus three, go ahead and
+roll that up. Nott, you’re up next.
+
+LIAM: Three, four, eight. 11 total.
+
+MATT: Finishing that, Caleb, your turn’s over.
+Nott, what are you doing?
+
+SAM: I will fire once. Am I at disadvantage or
+anything?
+
+MATT: Nope.
+
+SAM: Oh, I still missed. 11.
+
+MATT: That does miss, unfortunately.
+
+TALIESIN: Are we seeing sprays when he gets hit by
+these things, by the way?
+
+MATT: Each Magic Missile, the spray is still
+jumping off of its body in these very
+
+proximity-based sprays of terrible toxin. So yeah,
+it’s still happening.
+
+SAM: Can I scoot back behind that tree to the
+west?
+
+MATT: Are you only making the one attack?
+
+SAM: I’ll make another one when I get over there.
+
+MATT: Over here?
+
+SAM: Can I go farther around? Just as far around
+as I can– yeah.
+
+MATT: As you’re rushing past.
+
+SAM: That one hits. 19 plus something. This
+is not a sneak attack, though.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+SAM: Well, poo. Six points of damage.
+
+MATT: Six points of damage to it. As the bolt
+sticks in the back, you watch as one of its
+
+bulbous pustules sprays venom behind it, impacting
+nothing in its proximity.
+
+LAURA: How far does it look like the pustules
+spray?
+
+MATT: Between five and ten feet, you’re not
+entirely certain from your visible standpoint,
+
+because you’re kneeling behind a tree with partial
+cover. That finishes Nott’s turn. Molly, you’re
+
+up. Then Beau, you’re on deck.
+
+TALIESIN: How far can I move in one?
+
+MATT: 30 feet.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to head in the direction
+of this creature. I’m going to stay about–
+
+Actually, let’s try something ridiculous. You took
+a lot of damage from that spray, right?
+
+MARISHA: Nine. Not as much as Yasha.
+
+TALIESIN: This’ll be fun. Let’s run up to it, see
+how close I can get.
+
+MATT: In order to make it with your distance,
+you’re going to have to leap across that bit of
+
+open swamp water.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to try to leap at that just
+north of me to see if I can get over here, then.
+
+By that spiritual weapon. If I can leap there.
+
+MATT: That’ll be the rest of your movement. You’ll
+be right there and that’ll be the end of your
+
+movement.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fine. At least it’ll hopefully
+give everybody some flanking.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an athletics check.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a four.
+
+MATT: (counting) You trip and fall down to your
+knees in the water. 20, 25, and that’s about as
+
+far as you can move on this turn.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s as far as I can move?
+
+MATT: You can use an action to dash if you want.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to hold my action in case he
+comes within fighting distance.
+
+MATT: Okay, you’re holding your attack?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m holding my attack.
+
+MATT: Got it.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I do anything with my bonus? I can’t
+do anything with my bonus.
+
+MATT: Okay. Does that end your turn?
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I think that ends my turn.
+
+MATT: Beau, you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: I look at Yasha. Yeah?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I pull out my oil flask and I undo it and
+I douse him with oil, power-of-Christ-compels-you style.
+
+MATT: Your first attempt to spray it, it
+dissipates in front of you.
+
+LAURA: Throw it at him!
+
+MATT: You can’t throw it 15 feet to land on his
+body. You have to throw the actual– All right.
+
+Roll a d20 plus your dexterity modifier.
+
+LAURA: It’s 15 feet away.
+
+MARISHA: Eight.
+
+LAURA: Oh no!
+
+MATT: It sees it coming towards it and
+(whooshing) past its head, and you hear it
+
+(shattering) somewhere in the distance. You glance
+past it, and there’s a pile of skulls and bones
+
+that were previously charred from the impact that
+currently now are doused in oil.
+
+MARISHA: That didn’t go as planned. Sorry.
+
+ASHLEY: Do you want to move?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to step back.
+
+TRAVIS: Run. (singing) Sail away, sail away, sail
+away.
+
+MATT: How much, full movement?
+
+LAURA: As far as you can. Get as far as you can!
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, a little bit more. I’m going to go
+behind that tree there. Yep, that’s fine.
+
+MATT: All right. That ends Beau’s turn. End of
+Beau. Yasha, you’re up.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. I know we can’t go up and slash, and
+that’s all I can do, but can I–
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re just going to take damage.
+
+ASHLEY: I can’t do it. I’ll just take damage. I’m
+already low.
+
+TALIESIN: We healed up. We got a long rest.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I know. I’m already nervous. Could I
+take a torch and throw it at him?
+
+MATT: Sure, I’ll let you do that. Yeah.
+
+MARISHA: Maybe there’s some oil flecks on him.
+
+MATT: You, who are still holding your tinder box
+from lighting the dynamite earlier, pull out your
+
+pack, pull out a torch, and it begins to burn.
+Roll a d20; add your dexterity modifier.
+
+LAURA: Roll better than Beau!
+
+MARISHA: Do better than me!
+
+ASHLEY: Oh no. Seven.
+
+MARISHA: Damn it!
+
+SAM: Does it at least land where the oil landed?
+
+MATT: It does! You see behind, a pile of freshly
+dampened, oil-covered skulls burns like a nice
+
+little bonfire behind him.
+
+ASHLEY: Is he looking at it?
+
+MATT: It looks at it, and looks back at you about
+as incredulously as a troll can, like–
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to go back as far as I can.
+
+MATT: I should have actually rolled at disadvantage
+on that, but it would have been the same.
+
+MARISHA: We still would have sucked.
+
+ASHLEY: Still would have been shit.
+
+TALIESIN: There is a tiny burning fire there now.
+
+ASHLEY: I roll for a save on the poison?
+
+MATT: You do, at the end of your turn. Make a
+constitution saving throw.
+
+MARISHA: That would have been really cool in
+theory.
+
+TALIESIN: It would have been.
+
+ASHLEY: 17.
+
+MATT: You manage to shrug off the poison.
+
+ASHLEY: Good call.
+
+MATT: Good. All right, that ends Yasha’s turn.
+Jester, you’re up.
+
+LAURA: From out of the flames comes the spiritual
+weapon from behind and it’s going to come up and
+
+spank him on the butt.
+
+MARISHA: Heavy metal lollipop.
+
+ASHLEY: Come on, lollipop.
+
+LAURA: 14.
+
+MATT: 14 just misses. It strikes across its
+shoulder but glances off and slams into the wet,
+
+sickening swamp floor with a (sucking) sound. It
+has to pull itself out by wedging back and forth.
+
+LAURA: Aw man. I pop out from behind the tree and
+say, “I was aiming for your butt.” And then I’m
+
+going to cast Guiding Bolt at level three.
+
+MATT: Oh shit. All right. Roll your attack.
+
+LAURA: Damn it, fuck, mother bitch. No, it
+doesn’t hit.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s a lot of threes in this game
+right now.
+
+MATT: You watch as behind, (booming).
+
+SAM: Oh no! It’s got a mate!
+
+MATT: A tree blasts back from the Guiding Bolt,
+slamming into already rotted roots, needed that
+
+one final nudge, and the tree behind uproots
+itself and falls.
+
+LAURA: Did you guys see how powerful that was?
+Super powerful. I’m going to run away. I’m going
+
+to turn around and run the other direction. Yep,
+right there.
+
+MATT: All right. That ends Jester’s turn. Fjord,
+you’re up.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m going to move over here. Five, ten,
+15.
+
+SAM: You’re going closer?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. I’m going to cast Witch Bolt at it.
+
+MATT: Go for it. Level one? What level you have
+to.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, whatever it is. 3d12. I have to roll
+to hit first. 16?
+
+MATT: 16 does hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Hi, d12. I missed you. (counting) 18
+points. Lightning damage.
+
+MATT: Plus a d6 because it has Hex on it.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you for the reminder. Two. Solid 20
+points.
+
+MATT: 20 points of damage. I’m putting this on
+there for Witch Bolt, so if you wanted to use your
+
+action again, you can continue to hit it every
+turn for a d12 automatically. Now you see, as
+
+Fjord steps around the corner and releases this
+arcing bolt of purplish-black energy, this
+
+lightning arcs off and slams into the troll. The
+energy continues to swirl around it. It tries to
+
+stop it and grasp for it to no effect. There’s
+this strange thread of faintly visible energy
+
+between it and Fjord right now. There’s some sort
+of connection between the two of them. All right,
+
+that ends your turn, Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: It does.
+
+MATT: The troll’s going to go first because it
+rolled higher than Caleb. Immediately, it turns–
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+MATT: No. It’s real angry at him because it just
+got Hexed, Blasted, and then Bolted. It’s going to
+
+bypass the shiny swords right there.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it get close enough for me to take
+a swing?
+
+MATT: It does.
+
+TALIESIN: Swing, swing. I just get two attacks,
+right?
+
+MATT: You were holding your action, so you get two
+attacks, yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, I’m going to use the good
+sword. It doesn’t matter. That’s awful, and that’s
+
+pretty good. That’s 11, that misses, and 19, that
+hits.
+
+MATT: That does hit.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s 1d6 plus 1d4. 2d6 now, that’s
+right. That’s not bad. That’s ten points of
+
+damage.
+
+MATT: Ten points of damage, as you strike it with
+one blade and miss with another. Immediately, as
+
+you strike across it with your blade, the venom
+splashes into your face. You suffer 13 points of
+
+poison damage, and then it moves out of your
+combat range. You can still take your reaction if
+
+you wanted to.
+
+TALIESIN: I will take my reaction. 13 points of
+damage?
+
+MATT: Yep.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s fine. This is what I’m good for.
+I’m taking it.
+
+ASHLEY: 100 gold!
+
+TALIESIN: 100 gold. Natural 20.
+
+(cheering)
+
+TALIESIN: New die.
+
+LAURA and TALIESIN: It’s a pretty gold die.
+
+TALIESIN: Does the fact that I’m using what effect
+I have–
+
+MATT: It does not appear to be undead. So it’s 2d6
+plus, and then double whatever you roll.
+
+TALIESIN: So it’s 4d6 plus a little.
+
+MATT: Yeah, if you wanted to do it that way.
+
+TALIESIN: Ooh. That pretty much does the same
+thing. (counting) 21 points of damage.
+
+MATT: As you carve past, with a third, final swing
+towards it, you cut through a portion of muscle
+
+and tendon on its arm there, which immediately
+slips, dull to one side, unmoving. The spray
+
+splashes back in your face for only five points of
+poison damage.
+
+And it’s coming into you. As soon as that
+arm goes limp, the muscle reconnects and the arm
+
+comes back with strength, angrily. It’s going to
+swing. It’s going to take a bite and two claw
+
+attacks against you.
+
+TALIESIN: He’s also going to, of course, Curse of
+the Eyeless.
+
+MATT: You can’t. You already used your reaction to
+attack him.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, that was my reaction. Never mind.
+
+MATT: Sorry, buddy.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s all right.
+
+MATT: For its bite attack against you, its jaws
+open, Fjord. That is going to be a 26.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: You take ten points of piercing damage, plus
+six points of poison damage, and you are poisoned
+
+until the start of its next turn, as the venom
+courses through your veins. Its teeth and giant
+
+tusks dug into the front of your shoulder and
+chest. The pain is strong, but it’s holding you
+
+fast. From there, like a clawed wolverine, it
+begins to rake at your chest with its claws on
+
+each side. The first one’s going to be a 16 to
+hit.
+
+TRAVIS: That misses.
+
+MATT: Right, because you have your shield out. The
+shield blocks one of the claws. The other one
+
+attempts to reach behind it to get to your body.
+That’s going to be a 19.
+
+TRAVIS: That hits.
+
+MATT: With the other claw strike–
+
+LAURA: Is he grappled?
+
+MATT: No. He is not. That is nine plus four. 13
+points of slashing damage.
+
+TRAVIS: (high-pitched yelp) I mean, (deeper
+grunt).
+
+MATT: And another three points of poison damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Jeez Louise.
+
+MATT: That’s going to end its turn.
+
+LAURA and MARISHA: Run away!
+
+MATT: Caleb, you’re up.
+
+LIAM: Oh, this thing is way closer than I was
+prepared for. I take a little bit of molasses and
+
+rub it on my hands and say: slow down. You boys
+have got this? Good. And I start to back away,
+
+casting Slow as I go. I will loop around by our
+cleric. He has to beat a wisdom save against 16.
+
+MATT: Wisdom save? That is a 14 minus one. 13,
+no.
+
+SAM: What does that do to it?
+
+LAURA: It slows him, I think!
+
+MATT: Half movement, he can only make a single
+attack on its turn.
+
+LIAM: He can do an attack or a bonus, but not
+both.
+
+MATT: I need you to make two concentration checks,
+by the way. Your Hex would be gone, technically.
+
+Which is my fault. Hex is gone, and make
+constitution saving throws to see if you’re
+
+maintaining your Witch Bolt.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s an 11. That one saves. They both
+save.
+
+MATT: All righty. Good on you.
+
+TRAVIS: I think it was four. You can add four hit
+points, I think was the last Hex damage.
+
+LIAM: It was a cube, but Caleb, knowing that, would
+put the troll in the corner and send the rest of
+
+it in that direction.
+
+MATT: I assumed as much. Okay.
+
+LIAM: Can’t use reactions.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+LAURA: Oh, good.
+
+MATT: All right. Caleb, that finish your turn?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MATT: Nott, you’re up.
+
+SAM: Is it in melee with good old Fjord?
+
+MATT: It is.
+
+SAM: Oh, thank god. I mean, not for you. I’ll run
+up within 30 feet.
+
+MATT: All righty, you move (counting) 30, there
+you go.
+
+SAM: And fire! Ooh, good, it’s a lot!
+20-something.
+
+MATT: That hits. Roll damage. It’s hurt real bad
+now.
+
+SAM: Okay, so that’s 13 plus four is 17.
+
+MATT: 17 points of damage. And splash! Fjord, you
+take nine points of poison damage right into your
+
+face as the bolt slashes through.
+
+TRAVIS: My eyes!
+
+SAM: I forgot about that.
+
+TRAVIS: Let it stop you not, my friend! Nott?
+Nott.
+
+SAM: Wait, do let it stop me, or don’t?
+
+TRAVIS: No, keep hitting it!
+
+MATT: It’s holding on, barely. It’s right there,
+angrily making a last stand.
+
+SAM: I’ll cock again and fire again! And it’s
+even more! 20-something to hit.
+
+MATT: Okay, roll damage.
+
+SAM: Only six points.
+
+MATT: Six points, still alive. Fjord, you take
+another 13 points of poison damage.
+
+TRAVIS: I do?! Hit it again! (spraying)
+
+MARISHA: Oh no!
+
+SAM: I killed something!
+
+LAURA: Wait, nobody hit it because Fjord’s going
+to take serious damage!
+
+TRAVIS: Just hit it!
+
+MATT: It’s standing, heavily breathing like
+(panting).
+
+LAURA: You’ll keep taking damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh no, I use my Relentless Endurance to
+(singing).
+
+MATT: You do!
+
+ALL: (singing)
+
+MATT: You’re about to go– (straining). The orc
+comes to. The blood of the half-orc kicks in, and
+
+you stand there angrily in its face.
+
+LIAM: Fjord Madeline Kahns back to life.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All righty, that finishes Nott’s turn.
+Molly, you’re up.
+
+TALIESIN: Nobody else hit it!
+
+MARISHA: Fjord, run!
+
+TRAVIS: Just hit it!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to walk up, and I’m going to
+flank it so I get advantage.
+
+MATT: You’re up to your waist in swamp water,
+looking up at it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to take a hit. That’s 20.
+
+MATT: 20, that hits.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s nine points of damage.
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+TALIESIN: I want to get the new sword, push, let
+it bend, and pop into it.
+
+MATT: As you stab through its body, it tries to
+spin and you watch this strange tensing of its
+
+abdominal muscles and its weird bulbous stomach
+suddenly bursts out in front of you, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m down.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you take ten points of poison damage.
+
+TRAVIS: Ah! It was so cool!
+
+MATT: It looked almost like Molly killed them
+both.
+
+TRAVIS: (sizzling)
+
+MARISHA: Two birds, Molly. I like it.
+
+LAURA: Good one, Molly!
+
+MATT: Fjord is currently unconscious on the
+ground, guys. What are you doing?
+
+LAURA: And he’s poisoned, too, isn’t he?
+
+MATT: As far as you know. You don’t know.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a bonus action. I’m going to
+give him an auto-cure, just in case.
+
+MATT: Okay, so roll a constitution saving throw to
+resist it.
+
+TALIESIN: The snake tattoo on my hand, the eye on
+the back of my hand bursts, and blood comes
+
+pouring out of it. I take two points of damage.
+
+TRAVIS: That is 20.
+
+MATT: 20.
+
+MATT: Oh, did you amplify?
+
+TALIESIN: I didn’t need the amplify. Oh, actually
+that’s right, I don’t have to take damage for
+
+that, never mind.
+
+MATT: So you watch as, where the snake is, the
+blood bursts and the green venom that’s currently
+
+coursing through the wounds in Fjord’s unconscious
+body suddenly (sucking noise) siphons out, hovers
+
+in the air for a moment, as Mollymauk is holding
+his hand. And then the poison drops to the ground
+
+and disseminates into the swamp.
+
+LAURA: What?
+
+ASHLEY: What? That is so cool!
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve never done that before. That–
+
+MATT: What are you guys doing?
+
+LAURA: Wait, are you awake then, Fjord?
+
+MATT: Fjord is still unconscious. The poison’s
+gone but he’s–
+
+SAM: Wait, what happened? Oh, he was just
+unpoisoned.
+
+LAURA: I’ll walk up to Fjord. And I’ll cast Cure
+Wounds at level one.
+
+SAM: Whenever you cure anyone, it feels like a
+bother.
+
+MARISHA: I know, it’s so begrudgingly.
+
+LAURA: I’ll tap his head and be like: Wake up
+already.
+
+TALIESIN: Just to be sure, I’m going to dig around
+and make sure this is true death on this thing and
+
+it’s not going to start regenerating or anything.
+Does it look like it’s regenerating at all?
+
+LAURA: Six points.
+
+TRAVIS: Thank you.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: I’ll start looking for the gold.
+
+ASHLEY: We could just cut off its head.
+
+MARISHA: I join Nott in looking for the gold.
+
+MATT: You guys begin to make your way over to
+the–
+
+TALIESIN: 12.
+
+SAM: The skulls. I’m faster.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MARISHA: I’m pretty fucking fast. I’m pretty damn
+fast.
+
+LAURA: Kiri, come out!
+
+MATT: Kiri begins to run around, joining over here
+in the swamp area.
+
+TALIESIN: Don’t poke it.
+
+LAURA: Don’t stab the corpse this time, it’s
+poisonous.
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “It’s poisonous.”
+
+You’re looking down at it and watching
+as parts of the wounds are still tethering
+
+together.
+
+TALIESIN: Okay, let’s like, I’m going to gently–
+
+MATT: It hasn’t come back to your turn yet,
+unfortunately. Its turn’s before that. You watch
+
+as it suddenly comes up from the ground, pulling
+itself from the swamp, now conscious once more.
+
+SAM: (high-pitched scream)
+
+TRAVIS: Please don’t.
+
+ASHLEY: Come. On!
+
+MATT: And it’s going to take another heavy swing
+towards Fjord. With advantage, because you’re prone.
+
+MARISHA: The fuck?
+
+SAM: Did you already Cure Wounds?
+
+LAURA: I did.
+
+MATT: That’s going to be 20 to hit.
+
+TRAVIS: Thanks, Jester. (death rattle)
+
+MATT: That’s going to be seven points of piercing
+damage, and two points of poison.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s out.
+
+MATT: Fjord falls unconscious once more.
+
+TRAVIS: (death rattle)
+
+LIAM: Just like Blink.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m back, I’m back.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Oh no!
+
+MARISHA: Time is weird for Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: I feel like I should have had a– Oh
+well, that’s fine.
+
+MATT: Well, it comes back around to the next
+turn.
+
+TALIESIN: Ah. Six seconds can go quick.
+
+MATT: As soon as it comes back, it heals ten hit
+points back up. So it came to consciousness. Just
+
+enough movement to get up from prone, knock Fjord
+down. It’s going to make another swipe at Fjord.
+
+LIAM: Can it do that if it’s Slowed?
+
+MATT: No, it can’t!
+
+MARISHA: Is it still Slowed?
+
+LAURA: Oh, thank god.
+
+MATT: It’s still Slowed, yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh, my god.
+
+MATT: Oh man.
+
+MARISHA: You just saved Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: That was two death saving throws right
+there.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it was.
+
+MATT: And it had a third attack.
+
+MARISHA: It had another one?
+
+LIAM: But it doesn’t anymore.
+
+MATT: But it doesn’t anymore.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes!
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: It’s like walking on the edge of a cliff
+in the middle of the night. And you didn’t know
+
+how far the drop was, and you’re just toeing the
+edge. No idea what was on the other side.
+
+LAURA: Oh my god.
+
+MATT: All right. Fjord is unconscious. Brings us
+back, Caleb, it is now your turn.
+
+LIAM: Oh, is it? Oh goodness, this is–
+
+MATT: As everyone’s rushed around, it’s got back
+up, and just (slamming noise) Fjord’s unconscious
+
+again.
+
+LAURA: Do you have Thunder Wave or anything that
+can push it back?
+
+LIAM: DM, in everything that I’ve seen, when fire
+has been used on this creature, did it splurt?
+
+MATT: It seemed to.
+
+LIAM: It seemed to splurt when I used fire.
+
+MATT: Any sort of damage seemed to cause it to
+splurt.
+
+LAURA: Still do it.
+
+SAM: Fire also did bad things to it and it didn’t
+regenerate. `
+
+TALIESIN: No! Fjord.
+
+LIAM: I know, but Fjord is right under it.
+
+TRAVIS: Just do it. Just do it.
+
+LAURA: Just save your attack–
+
+MARISHA: If it’s at its turn, and now we’re back
+at the round so it’s going to have another turn
+
+immediately?
+
+LAURA: No.
+
+MATT: No. That was its turn it just took. So now
+we’re going back to the initiative order again.
+
+LAURA: We all have our actions, so hold your
+attack ‘cause I’ll pull Fjord away.
+
+TALIESIN: So now we have our full turn and it
+can’t react, so hold the– I can move, I’ll be
+
+fine. We all get a full turn before anything
+happens.
+
+LIAM: So Caleb shouts out, should I burn this
+thing now?
+
+TALIESIN: Wait one second!
+
+LAURA: Wait until I can pull him away!
+
+LIAM: All right, I’ll hold on a moment.
+
+MATT: Real fast, hold on, I’m just checking Slow.
+
+LAURA: Ahh! No!
+
+SAM: This has suddenly become the most complicated
+fight we’ve ever had!
+
+MATT: It gets to make a wisdom saving throw to see
+if it can avoid Slow. No, it rolled a three.
+
+LIAM: (funny voice) Ah, sorry buddy.
+
+MATT: So, Caleb, what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I just yell, should I burn it? And Jester
+yelled, “Wait.”
+
+LAURA: Wait, wait, wait!
+
+MARISHA: Hold!
+
+LIAM: I’m going to hold the Glove of Blasting.
+
+MATT: Okay, what are you doing?
+
+LIAM: I’m going to burn it the moment Fjord
+is in the clear.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you’re holding until Fjord is clear
+from his body. Got it. Okay, that brings us to
+
+Nott. Nott, what are you doing? You turn around
+and watch as the troll’s now back up and slammed
+
+its claw into Fjord’s now, once again, unconscious
+body.
+
+TALIESIN: Hold until we’re clear!
+
+SAM: Okay. Ahh! (scared, nervous noises) I want to
+so bad! Am I within 30 feet?
+
+MATT: Currently? You can very easily get within 30
+feet.
+
+SAM: I’ll get within 30 feet and then hold my
+action to shoot.
+
+MATT: You step around the flaming pile of skulls
+right there. And turn and get another bolt and–
+
+you’re holding?
+
+SAM: I’m holding the attack until it looks like
+it’s safe to do so.
+
+MATT: Okay, holding the attack until Fjord’s safe?
+
+SAM: Until Fjord’s gone.
+
+MATT: You got it. All right, Molly, your turn.
+
+TALIESIN: I obviously can’t hit it so–
+
+MATT: You can.
+
+TALIESIN: I mean–
+
+SAM: You’ve got your…
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to get his attention, peace
+out. I’m going to Misty Step.
+
+SAM: Ooh.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, dude.
+
+MATT: Where do you want to go?
+
+TALIESIN: I can go 30 feet.
+
+LAURA: 30 feet?
+
+TALIESIN: Yep, yep.
+
+LAURA: Go get the shinies before Nott.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to head to the shinies. I’m
+going to Misty Step next to– yeah, there we are.
+
+MATT: Right behind the fire.
+
+SAM: Maybe I’ll just go back and hit it!
+
+LAURA: You won’t.
+
+TALIESIN: I just need visual and just… no,
+there’s nothing I can do.
+
+MATT: All right, that finishes Molly’s turn. Beau,
+you’re up.
+
+MARISHA: Are the two of you going to try and drag?
+Or do you want to try and attack and Yasha and I
+
+can drag?
+
+LAURA: Whatever.
+
+MATT: Figure it out guys, it’s your turn.
+
+MARISHA: All right, I’m going to run up, since I
+know me and Yasha are together. I’m going to cast
+
+Step of the Wind, to give myself double movement,
+or use a ki point.
+
+MATT: 25, 30. You don’t even have to, to get to
+it.
+
+MARISHA: I’m trying to get to Fjord.
+
+MATT: Oh, to get to Fjord, sorry. 40, 50, that’s
+60.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I would have gone a straight way,
+but yeah.
+
+LAURA: Now you have used all your movement and you
+can’t pull him away.
+
+MARISHA: Step of the Wind, I have double
+movement.
+
+MATT: (counting) 40. So you have, that’s your–
+
+MARISHA: Okay. And I’m going to grab onto him and
+I’m going to turn to Yasha and I’m going to say,
+
+Help me, and I’m going to pull when she gets up to
+it.
+
+MATT: Okay, so you spend an action just to hold
+onto him. You currently have him grappled.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to pull when she gets up. I’m
+going to help her pull him out.
+
+MATT: Okay, got it. Yasha?
+
+ASHLEY: So I’m going to move forward, grab the
+other side, that she doesn’t have, and pull him.
+
+MATT: All right. So you move over, action, and
+you’re going to pull him away. All righty, you are
+
+not in melee range so you manage to pull him back
+here. Fjord, you get–
+
+TALIESIN: He has no reaction.
+
+MATT: I know he doesn’t. So you pull him back.
+Fjord is now right there.
+
+ASHLEY: How far back can I pull him?
+
+MARISHA: I want to assist her, though. Can we get
+him further if I assist? That was the whole point
+
+of me doing that.
+
+MATT: Hmm. It gets a little wonky with action, but
+I’ll let you do it.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: With the speed you have left, you guys can
+pull him about there.
+
+MARISHA: If not, if she can handle him, then.
+
+MATT: Well, it’s half speed through the swamp, and
+then it’s half speed dragging somebody. So it’s a
+
+slow shift because you’re moving through the muck
+and dragging him out of this thick swamp. So
+
+that’s as far as you can get.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+MATT: It does not get any reaction though, because
+it’s currently still affected by the Slow spell
+
+and it looks like right now Fjord is in a position
+where he is outside of the splash radius. Which
+
+would trigger Caleb and Nott.
+
+LIAM: Scorching Ray.
+
+SAM: Oh. Firing.
+
+MATT: You fire, and you are using the Scorching
+Ray from the glove.
+
+LIAM: Yeah. First is a 20, second is an 18, and
+the third is a 20.
+
+MATT: All hit.
+
+LIAM: They all hit.
+
+SAM: 22 to hit for me. But it’s not a sneak
+attack?
+
+MATT: Roll damage. No. There’s nobody in range of
+it right now.
+
+LAURA: Oh.
+
+SAM: (disgustedly) Five points.
+
+MATT: Five points of damage. It’s still conscious.
+
+MARISHA: Kill him, kill him.
+
+LAURA: Five points, if you get more than five
+points he’s dead.
+
+LIAM: I did. A total of 27.
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+MATT: How do you want to do this?
+
+LIAM: There is– I am with these people! And I am
+going to burn his head off.
+
+SAM: (laughs)
+
+ASHLEY: Here we go.
+
+MATT: As you turn, the glove sparking as you
+release these three blasts, one strikes his chest
+
+and ignites, his arm begins to burn black. This
+one hits the other shoulder and you watch as the
+
+torso begins to ignite. The third one finally hits
+right in the jaw and you see the shadowed line of
+
+its face, eyes and mouth open before (fire
+crackling). Incinerated to ash. I need you to go
+
+ahead and make a wisdom saving throw please.
+
+MARISHA: Oh shit, Caleb.
+
+LIAM: (high-pitched) Oh shit. Oh shit.
+
+Fünf.
+
+MATT: Caleb’s arms kind of just fall slack, and he
+slumps to his knees, staring at the now-flaming
+
+corpse of the troll as it slumps into the ground
+and begins to burn, half-submerged in swamp water,
+
+half of it now just this burning mass of ash and
+flesh.
+
+LAURA: Whoa.
+
+MATT: So.
+
+LAURA: That was really graphic!
+
+SAM: Oh, he’s still down.
+
+LAURA: Oh, are you dead or something?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, we’ve got to wake him up now!
+Cause he’s almost dead.
+
+LAURA: Ugh. I go over and I use another–
+
+MATT: Go ahead and make a death saving throw.
+
+LAURA: –healing spell.
+
+TRAVIS: 19.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re fine, all right. It’s fine. I
+just like making him roll.
+
+LAURA: Yay! I do Cure Wounds on him again. Stop
+doing this!
+
+TRAVIS: Ugh. I feel like this is a rough day.
+
+LAURA: Ooh. 11 points this time.
+
+TRAVIS: 11 points? I sit back up against the tree
+and sit there in the water, britches in the water,
+
+just not caring.
+
+MARISHA: Beau gets up, seeing Caleb a little bit
+messed up, and I’m going to go up to him and I’m
+
+going to grab him and be like: let’s take a walk.
+
+MATT: You pull him away. He’s not present,
+currently.
+
+MARISHA: That’s fine. I’m walking with him a
+little bit, slowly.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take my axe and I’m going to
+try to cut out his heart. Just in case. Very
+
+slowly, so it doesn’t splatter.
+
+MATT: You have to wait a moment, because currently
+the body is being engulfed. Eventually the flames
+
+die down to the point where you can carve into its
+body, but most of its flesh is burned. It’s
+
+definitely dead. Make a medicine check.
+
+LAURA: Okay. 12.
+
+MATT: You manage to eventually hack away, get to
+where the troll heart would be, and carve it out
+
+without damaging it beyond any interest in this
+piece. It’s a deep forest green, looks like it has
+
+half-formed additional ventricles that never fully
+completed. It’s pretty disgusting, and you go to
+
+touch it, and your fingers–
+
+LAURA: I don’t want to touch it. I’m going to use
+my fabric and try to get it out, like a cloth or
+
+something.
+
+MATT: Okay. You pull it out. It is corroding the
+cloth slowly.
+
+LAURA: Ah! Does anybody have anything glass or
+metal?
+
+TALIESIN: Yes.
+
+LAURA: Put it in there!
+
+TALIESIN: No, I’m not going to do that.
+
+LAURA: Why? It squirted poison!
+
+MATT: It’s that big. It’s about basketball size.
+
+LAURA: We can keep it!
+
+TALIESIN: What are you going to do with that? You
+don’t want that.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to sit on the ground. I’m going
+to look through my stuff, see if I have anything
+
+that can hold it.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to go through the skulls. Do
+you want to join me going through the skulls right now?
+
+SAM: I was going to go to Caleb’s aid, but seeing
+Beau walk away with him, I nod and go back to
+
+looking through the skulls for gold.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s not crowd the boy.
+
+MATT: Okay. Both of you guys make investigation
+checks as you’re looking through the rest of that.
+
+Yasha, what are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to start walking over towards
+where the skulls are.
+
+SAM: 20 for me.
+
+TALIESIN: Ten.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, the concussive blast of the
+dynamite shattered most of the bones and any
+
+materials that were in here, so what would’ve at one
+time been fairly easy to scavenge what remains,
+
+you gather from the patches of now dried and
+destroyed swamp ground that much of it has been
+
+scattered all across. You do manage to find some
+coins between the two of you– mostly you, Nott–
+
+and it takes some digging. You’re basically having
+to pan for gold here. You’re going in the muck and
+
+having to sift through your fingers and pour your
+water out a bit, take it into the water. You
+
+manage to find roughly 26 gold pieces, ten silver
+pieces, and let’s say about 50 copper pieces.
+
+MARISHA: Quarter of what we came back for, but
+sure!
+
+LAURA: Does his body have a pouch on him at all?
+Can I search the body?
+
+MATT: The body of the troll? Make another
+investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s Febron’s nasty body?
+
+SAM: Yeah, any other items that weren’t
+destroyed?
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: There’s basic hides wrapped around the
+midsection. There is a small pouch. You go inside
+
+and pull through and immediately your hands hit
+something that feels very cold and somewhat slimy.
+
+Looking inside, looks like there are slivers of
+muscle. Fresh muscle that had been torn off of
+
+some sort of a body laid in there. The smell is a
+little bit putrid. It may have been in there
+
+pickling for a while.
+
+LAURA: Hey, Nott, I found some pickled muscle for
+you.
+
+SAM: What kind of species?
+
+LAURA: The slimy kind.
+
+MATT: You can make a medicine check to try and
+identify it.
+
+LAURA: Man, my medicine checks are sucking. Ten.
+
+MATT: Ten. Probably human.
+
+LAURA: It’s probably human.
+
+SAM: I’ll take that.
+
+MATT: Caleb, you shake out of it.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to take the hide he had covering
+his junk, and wrap it around the heart, because
+
+obviously it can take being splattered by venom.
+
+MATT: Yeah, okay. That it does. In revealing the
+partially singed troll dong, you also manage to
+
+properly wrap the heart for its own use.
+
+TRAVIS: Us and troll dongs, man!
+
+MATT: Each campaign. It’s a through line, guys!
+
+SAM: Can we keep the dong?
+
+LAURA: I don’t want the dong.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s no sense repeating.
+
+MATT: So, Fjord, what are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: I’m sitting there, watching Caleb and
+Yasha walk off and feeling sorry for myself.
+
+MATT: Okay. Caleb, you manage to snap out of it,
+and come back to reality.
+
+MARISHA: I hand him one skin and I say: Here, this
+one’s water. This one’s booze. Take the water and
+
+I pour it out on one of my sashes and dab off his
+forehead a little bit. You all right?
+
+LIAM: Ja.
+
+MARISHA: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
+
+TRAVIS: Y'all mind if we take a short rest or
+something?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, let’s do that. There’s a campfire
+over there that Yasha and I made with the oil and
+
+the torch that we threw. It’s already done. Let’s
+go sit by that.
+
+LAURA: Sit by the skulls!
+
+MATT: It’s a pile of bone and skull shards that is
+still burning and will be burning for a while from
+
+the oils.
+
+LAURA: It’s cozy over here.
+
+MARISHA: Can I get my oil flask back too?
+
+MATT: No. That flask shattered on impact, sorry.
+You guys take a short rest.
+
+SAM: I’ll give out all the gold.
+
+LAURA: Whoa, you pass out the 26 gold?
+
+SAM: Yeah, so we all get three. We all get three
+gold pieces. I’m keeping the extras.
+
+MATT: The downside of throwing dynamite into the
+reward pile.
+
+TRAVIS: I heal 39 points. I only have one hit dice
+left.
+
+MATT: You guys finish your short rest. You’re
+feeling a little more collected. What do you wish
+
+to do?
+
+LAURA: I guess we should go home, huh? I mean,
+back to the town.
+
+TALIESIN: Especially since we’re now a 100
+gold richer.
+
+MATT: You look around and see Kiri sitting there
+with the knife and is stabbing the troll body.
+
+LAURA: Don’t stab the troll, it’s poisonous! It
+will hurt you.
+
+MATT: It’s not splashing venom, it looks like.
+
+TALIESIN: I guess get it out of your system then,
+that’s fine.
+
+TRAVIS: 26 and ten silver.
+
+TALIESIN: Are you done yet?
+
+MATT: (like Caleb) “This means we are friends.”
+
+LAURA: I think we’re a bad influence on her.
+
+SAM: I don’t think so. Kiri, would you like some
+human jerky?
+
+LAURA and TRAVIS: No, don’t! No!
+
+SAM: What? I thought birds might like that.
+
+LAURA: No. Don’t eat human, Kiri. Don’t stab
+humans and don’t eat humans, okay?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Don’t stab humans. Don’t eat
+humans. Okay?”
+
+TALIESIN: Unless you’re really out of anything to
+eat. Then I suppose, you know, desperate times.
+
+LAURA: Do what you have to.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I’m glad we did that. Shall we
+continue on our way?
+
+LAURA: Are you okay, Fjord? You died twice.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I just meant to–
+
+SAM: Well, three times, because the first time he
+snapped back up himself.
+
+LAURA: Oh that’s true, three whole times!
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, that didn’t go the way I planned. My
+strategy went to shit.
+
+SAM: Do you still have the crazy eye thing in your
+stomach?
+
+TRAVIS: In my stomach?
+
+LAURA: I poke his stomach. Does it feel like
+there’s a hard thing in there?
+
+MATT: No, it seems classic Fjord stomach.
+
+TRAVIS: Just these abs, babe.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LAURA: Can’t feel anything past the steel.
+
+TRAVIS: You feel all six of them. Eight of them.
+
+MATT: Nine?
+
+TRAVIS: Nine. That is a– what do you call it when
+you have– oh shit, hernia.
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: All right, I guess we’ll keep going.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we should probably do that.
+
+SAM: Oh wait, did they ever come back from their
+little walk?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I imagine we wandered back.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, you shook it off.
+
+LIAM: Shook it off.
+
+MARISHA: He’s great.
+
+SAM: How are you, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Good. Good.
+
+SAM: You faded away there for a second. Are you
+okay?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, what happened? You good? Okay.
+
+LAURA: He gets weird when he kills people when he
+burns them. He did it before.
+
+SAM: I think anyone would, really.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know if Kiri would. She’d probably
+be cool with it.
+
+LIAM: But Fjord is still here, so there is the
+important thing. Let’s focus on the good things in
+
+our lives.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, thank you, Caleb. Appreciate that.
+
+ASHLEY: You took care of the problem.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. I feel like those two aren’t
+mutually exclusive or anything, but yeah.
+
+LAURA: Let’s start walking!
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s just getting awkward.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys continue making your way
+back towards Berleben. You made most of the
+
+journey and by the time the sky begins to subtly
+grow dark with the threat of dusk imminent in the
+
+next hour or so, you guys begin to make visual on
+the lantern lights in the outskirts of the
+
+northern side of the city. Within a short time.
+before it gets too dark in the swamp, you manage
+
+to make your way inside Berleben proper.
+
+LAURA: We did it!
+
+MATT: You’re still in the Puddles.
+
+MARISHA: Is there another inn, other than that
+bougie, terrible, underground situation?
+
+TALIESIN: Did you just say bougie? Ugh. God, never
+mind, I don’t like you again.
+
+MARISHA: That was pretty bougie.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, we were in the bad part of town. We
+can go to the nice part of town.
+
+LIAM: What is this word, “bougie?”
+
+MARISHA: When you want to try and seem fancy, but
+it’s a little ostentatious.
+
+LIAM: Is that in Common? Is that a Common word?
+
+TALIESIN: It’s a word that people use when they
+want to sound ostentatious about how ostentatious
+
+something is.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, it’s short for bourgeois, which is
+super ostentatious.
+
+LIAM: The Zemnian word for that is like seven
+syllables long.
+
+MARISHA: That’s ostentatious.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Sending.
+
+SAM: Oh, you’re going to send a message. What’s
+the message? Completed first half of mission?
+
+LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
+
+SAM: Send money.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s collect when we get back.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to cast Sending and send a
+message to The Gentleman.
+
+MARISHA: Safe house cleared?
+
+MATT: Okay. He cannot respond though, right?
+
+SAM: You can reply to this message.
+
+MATT: Oh, can answer in a like manner
+immediately.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to say: Hey, Mr. Gentleman. We
+found your safe house. We cleared it out of a
+
+bunch of fish people. Don’t worry, everything’s
+fine now, okay. We also found a troll in the
+
+swamp, we killed that too, and we also found some
+crocodiles. Please respond to this. If you need
+
+anything let us know, okay?
+
+TALIESIN: And his agent is dead. His person out
+here is dead.
+
+LAURA: And your agent out here, the guy with the
+no teeth, is dead.
+
+MATT: Seeing as how the spell’s limit is 25
+words–
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: There’s a moment where you hear in your mind
+a familiar voice of The Gentleman going, “I think
+
+"I catch your gist. Well done. Keep trucking?” You
+hear the confused rise at the end.
+
+LAURA: He interrupted me while I was telling him
+what we did.
+
+SAM: Yeah, there was still more to say.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, there was so much more, but I think
+he got the idea. We’ll get the bonus.
+
+MARISHA: Jester’s that person who keeps trying to
+record the voicemail and gets cut off. Aw,
+
+re-record, one more time!
+
+TALIESIN: Or trying to send an email. “How does
+this work?” All caps.
+
+MATT: As you guys are having this conversation
+near one of the lanterns, you see a cloaked figure
+
+that’s sitting on a bench suddenly stand up and
+face you, and begin to walk towards you.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, we’re in the tavern?
+
+MATT: You’re walking through the Puddles.
+
+SAM: Scatter, scatter!
+
+TRAVIS: No.
+
+SAM: Take to the sewers!
+
+MATT: The figure approaches. Somebody in the tech
+sneezed, I think.
+
+MARISHA: Can I pull and grab my staff a little
+bit?
+
+TALIESIN: Just ruin everything, there we are.
+
+MATT: I know.
+
+TRAVIS: All I could see is somebody go (fart
+sound).
+
+MATT: The figure approaches and pulls the hood
+back, and you see a scruffy chin, the unkempt
+
+hair, a dirtier, but excited, Horris Thrym.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, Horris! Oh, he’s not dead!
+
+MATT: He goes, “Well, word of a motley group of
+strangers spreads in whispers, and I knew it had
+
+"to be you based on the description. My friends,
+you’ve come this way. This place is miserable. Oh,
+
+"do not think that I don’t appreciate what you’ve
+done for me, please.”
+
+TRAVIS: No, you’re right on the nose. It’s pretty
+miserable.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, this place sucks.
+
+MATT: “As rough as this journey was, I’d rather be
+here than in prison. What word of Zadash has come?
+
+"Is Dolan all right?”
+
+MARISHA: He’s fine. He was sitting pretty next to
+the other diplomats of the town.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, he seemed like he was doing pretty
+good when we saw him.
+
+TALIESIN: Except, of course, that they’re making
+ready for war.
+
+MATT: “I’ve heard whispers of that as well.”
+
+MARISHA: Did you see that crazy army ride by?
+There was a lot of horses. A lot.
+
+MATT: “I’ve been here for over a week, so no. But
+I’m sure there was. How long should I stay? What
+
+"is the current atmosphere there?”
+
+LIAM: That is a big question mark at the moment.
+
+SAM: It’s chaotic.
+
+MATT: “Is it safe to return or should I hang low a
+little longer?”
+
+LAURA: You know what, it might be, because I think
+they decided to charge other people with the
+
+crimes and stuff.
+
+TRAVIS: The gates were pretty heavily watched,
+though.
+
+LAURA: Were they still, though? Are they?
+
+TRAVIS: At war?
+
+LAURA: I don’t remember.
+
+LIAM: Perhaps wait until you receive word from
+him.
+
+MATT: “Okay, I’ll remain in this quaint city.”
+
+LIAM: Well, he has a better eye on the situation
+than we do. He’s right in the thick of it now.
+
+MATT: “That’s true, I’ll be patient. Thank you all
+so much. I really appreciate it.”
+
+LAURA: Horris, do you have a lot of diamonds on
+you? Maybe some that are worth 300 gold?
+
+TALIESIN: So thirsty.
+
+MATT: “No, I don’t. But if I do, I’ll let you
+know. ”
+
+LAURA: I’m on the lookout, okay.
+
+MATT: “I genuinely wish to make this up to you at
+some point. If it is diamonds you require I’ll
+
+"begin looking.”
+
+SAM: Do you know anywhere in town where they might
+have that many diamonds?
+
+MATT: He stops and looks around the city and goes,
+“I don’t know if this is the place. Call me crazy, but–”
+
+LIAM: Is there anything of use or value here? At
+all?
+
+MATT: “Fish, swamp fungus, herbs.”
+
+LAURA: Poisonous troll hearts!
+
+SAM: You have it? Ah!
+
+MATT: He steps back.
+
+TALIESIN: Where would we sell such a thing like
+this?
+
+MATT: He starts thinking for a second, then goes
+“Maybe there,” and points to what is another two
+
+story building that had been burned and left to
+rot that now appears to be a hollow structure
+
+that is overgrown with greenery and plants.
+
+TALIESIN: Is that an apothecary? Do you have an
+apothecary here?
+
+MATT: “It seems to be from what I’ve noticed in
+passing.”
+
+TALIESIN: My god I miss shopping! I’m going to
+give him three gold for his trouble. You’re
+
+brilliant! And I’m heading in that direction.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. Thank you all. If you see Dolan,
+tell him please, come get me.”
+
+TRAVIS: No fear, we won’t be too much longer.
+We’re going to head back to Zadash after we take
+
+care of some other business. And we’ll be sure to
+check in. Word will find its way to you soon.
+
+MATT: “Thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: Where are you staying right now?
+
+MATT: “I’m over at The Drowned Nest.”
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: The Drowned Nest.
+
+MARISHA: How are rooms there? Are they underground
+and filled with water and mold?
+
+MATT: “No, they’re better than that place.” And he
+points to The Keystone Pub where you guys stayed
+
+the night.
+
+TRAVIS: Who would stay there right? I mean–
+
+MATT: “Not to my standards.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s quaint and rustic, shut up.
+
+MARISHA: The Drowned Nest? Do they have a tavern
+at The Drowned Nest?
+
+MATT: “I’m sure you could acquire a drink. Trust
+me, most of the folks here have to.”
+
+TRAVIS: Do you feel safe here? I noticed your hood
+was up when you approached us.
+
+MATT: “Just precautions. Not a lot of business
+happens here that you won’t get mingled in unless
+
+"you were looking. So I just stay put.”
+
+TRAVIS: We’ll send word. It was good to see you.
+
+MATT: “You as well. If you pass by The Drowned
+Nest, hopefully we could have a drink.” And he
+
+makes his way up towards the central part of the
+town, the Midway Docks.
+
+LAURA: Man, I’m glad he’s alive. I thought he was
+one of the dead bodies we found at the safe house.
+
+MARISHA: Me too.
+
+TRAVIS: Where the hell did Molly go?
+
+LAURA: He went in the apothecary! And I take off
+running.
+
+MATT: You approach and there is a sign that’s
+hanging from a chain, from two iron hooks that are
+
+long rusted, this dull brown-red color. It reads
+across the front The Fungal Fount.
+
+TALIESIN: What kind of font is it written in?
+
+TRAVIS: Papyrus.
+
+MATT: Never enter if it’s Papyrus.
+
+TRAVIS: No business back there!
+
+MATT: So you approach. The door is closed,
+currently.
+
+TALIESIN: I go to knock.
+
+MATT: “Sorry, we’re closed.”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re not buying today?
+
+MATT: “We’re closed, it’s sundown, and I’m
+shutting up.”
+
+TALIESIN: Already? What time do you open
+tomorrow?
+
+MATT: “Sunrise.”
+
+TALIESIN: Are you sure you don’t want to perhaps
+buy a fresh troll heart?
+
+MATT: (pause) “What?”
+
+LAURA: I have a troll heart. It’s full of poison.
+
+TALIESIN: Very wet!
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+SAM: We got a real wet troll heart.
+
+LAURA: Do I roll with advantage because Molly is
+helping?
+
+MATT: You are helping. I’ll give you advantage on
+this roll. That was a roller coaster right there.
+
+TALIESIN: Not a bad die there.
+
+LIAM: You two just became that Muppet meme that
+was made.
+
+LAURA: 22!
+
+MATT: There’s a moment and you hear (multiple
+locks clicking). The door opens and on the inside
+
+you see a wild-looking, gaunt dwarf. He has a chin
+beard with green moss growing on each side of it.
+
+His clothes look a little moist and his forehead
+glistens with sweat, and he peers through, his
+
+eyes popped out. “You said you have a troll heart?
+Come in.” Opens the door and lets you both inside.
+
+Closes the door behind. (lock clicking) “I’m sort
+of curious as to how you came across this troll
+
+"heart. Did you kill the troll?”
+
+LAURA: We killed a troll.
+
+TALIESIN: We found a troll and we killed it.
+
+MATT: “That’s amazing. I’m very impressed. Um,
+ah–”
+
+LAURA: Do you want to see it?
+
+MATT: “I would like to, very much. Place it on
+this counter please. On the leather, which you carried.”
+
+LAURA: I open the leather and place it down.
+(squishy noise)
+
+MATT: He reaches over and grabs metal tongs and
+starts pushing–
+
+LAURA: Hey!
+
+MATT: “I’m inspecting it.”
+
+TALIESIN: Let him prod. It’s fine.
+
+MATT: Takes a moment to look around. “I can see
+there’s some very fascinating applications that
+
+"could come from this.”
+
+LAURA: There are a lot of aortas and chambers and
+stuff.
+
+MATT: “It is quite exquisite. I would be happy to
+buy this off of you. Do you have an asking price
+
+"or would you like me to make an offer?”
+
+TALIESIN: Or could we also talk about trade
+possibly if you have some interesting stuff.
+
+LAURA: Probably you could buy it and also give us
+some stuff.
+
+TALIESIN: If you’ve got stuff to trade. You seem
+like a clever fellow, I’m sure you got something
+
+around here that’s interesting and unique.
+
+MATT: Without breaking eye contact, he starts
+rummaging behind this small wooden table that acts
+
+as his counter. Which has a bunch of planters and
+potted weird-looking swamp fungus and plants that
+
+are grown together and entwined. One of them, you
+lean close and a little spore goes off, and you
+
+back away carefully. You hear the clinking of
+glass and he pulls up two small jars, opens and
+
+says, “I could spend the night preparing, perhaps,
+for some medicinal potions. ”
+
+LAURA: Really strong ones?
+
+MATT: “Strongest you’ll find this side of the
+Labenda.”
+
+LAURA: Is that regular? Or stronger than that?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know, I have to brew it to find
+out. It’s not a perfect art form! You are impatient.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see what you put together, and
+we’ll definitely talk about what this is worth in
+
+the morning. And if you have anything unusual that
+you put together, if you have a signature blend of
+
+any kind, I’m always interested in people who are
+excited to experiment.
+
+MATT: “Unusual?”
+
+TALIESIN: Yes!
+
+LAURA: But I’m more interested in the healing
+potions.
+
+TALIESIN: That too.
+
+MATT: “Right. The morning then.”
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll see you bright and early.
+
+LAURA: Take the troll– what’s your name by the
+way?
+
+MATT: “Smithe. Smithe Durban. Pleasure to meet
+you.”
+
+LAURA: Smithe Durban.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you think it would be better to leave
+this here, so he can contain it?
+
+LAURA: No!
+
+TALIESIN: I mean we killed a troll, it’s not like
+we can’t kill him if it goes wrong.
+
+LAURA: Nope! I’m taking it with me.
+
+LIAM: Vex is back.
+
+SAM: Smithe Durban is, knows, or has a gimp.
+
+(laughter)
+
+TRAVIS: 100% for sure.
+
+TALIESIN: Why must you sully everything good and
+pure in this world, Sam?
+
+LIAM: There is a halfling wrapped in parchment
+paper underneath the shop.
+
+TALIESIN: This is where all those manacles have
+been coming from! Oh no!
+
+MATT: They haven’t invented the zipper yet, so
+it’s laced.
+
+TALIESIN: Perfect, we’ll be back in the morning.
+Let’s go take a rest.
+
+MATT: “Very well. Goodnight, sleep well. Return
+please.” Closes the door. (multiple locks clicking)
+
+LAURA: What a nice guy.
+
+TALIESIN: I really liked him.
+
+LAURA: I did. I liked him a lot.
+
+MATT: So what are you guys doing for the evening?
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go check out The Drowned Nest,
+shall we? There is a better place than the
+
+Keystone Pub. We head to The Drowned Nest.
+
+MATT: You head to the Midway Docks. Following the
+outskirts of the Drydocks, which are a number of
+
+these wooden docks that head out into various
+edges of the swamp, where there are small boats
+
+that are currently roped off and being watched by
+the crownsguard that come across with torches,
+
+make sure that nothing gets stolen or anyone is
+doing anything untoward over in the area. Asking
+
+around, you eventually find your way to a
+relatively simple-looking building. Single story,
+
+but it stretches quite a bit and you can see a
+number of windows that are faintly glowing with
+
+candlelight. On the inside, it does appear to be
+a simple inn, with a small bar in the far corner.
+
+It’s better than the Keystone Pub, but only
+incrementally. Entering inside, it’s relatively
+
+quiet. Looks to be one person who is drinking
+alone on the far end, and you see across the way a
+
+female human in her middle age, a warm smile with
+a cracked face who glances up from a small book
+
+that she is thumbing through and goes, “Good
+evening folks. Can I help you?”
+
+TRAVIS: Yes, you can. We’re weary travelers in need
+of respite and perhaps some drinks.
+
+MATT: “Well, I can provide both. My name is Uma
+Cole. Pleasure to meet you.”
+
+TRAVIS: Uma. (kiss)
+
+Matt: “Oh! Well–”
+
+TRAVIS: Was that a dirty hand?
+
+MATT: “Oh no, I keep quite clean.”
+
+TRAVIS: I was asking out of character, but okay.
+Did you give me the dirty hand, ma'am?
+
+MATT: I was trying to process what that was
+referring to. “Oh, you stop.” No, the hand was clean.
+
+TRAVIS: Okay.
+
+MATT: “We do have about four rooms available for
+rent, if y'all are willing to stay for the evening.
+
+"Our selection of liquors and beers are not
+extremely versatile, but welcome to provide as needed.”
+
+TRAVIS: That sounds absolutely fantastic.
+
+TALIESIN: Whatever you think that we shouldn’t
+leave town without trying.
+
+MATT: “Very well. That will be five silver per
+room for the night’s stay.”
+
+MARISHA: We’ll take them all.
+
+MATT: “All four rooms? That will be two gold
+pieces, please.”
+
+TRAVIS: I got it.
+
+TALIESIN: You got it?
+
+LAURA: Thanks, Fjord.
+
+TRAVIS: No problem. Thanks for making sure I was
+okay back there.
+
+MATT: “What a gentleman.”
+
+LAURA: I saved his life multiple times today.
+
+MATT: “Well, good for you.”
+
+TALIESIN: To be fair, he’s saved our lives dozens of
+times.
+
+MARISHA: He’s very dapper. He touches the hearts
+of all of us. Where would we be without Fjord?
+
+TALIESIN: All gone. All dead.
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I mean he’s not that cool or
+anything! I mean you probably wouldn’t be
+
+interested in him at all.
+
+MATT: “Course not, I’m sorry.”
+
+LIAM: Are you interested in him?
+
+MATT: “Here’re your keys.” Strangely surrounded by
+a group of strangers, now accosting her with
+
+various degrees of insinuation. “Drinks-wise, we
+prefer more hard liquors, or more of an ale beer?”
+
+MARISHA, LIAM, and ASHLEY: Hard.
+
+TALIESIN: Any surprise you have.
+
+MATT: “Well, only a couple of surprises at my
+disposal, but–”
+
+LAURA: Do you have any ginger ale, or fresh milk?
+
+MATT: She pulls up this dark green bottle, and
+uncaps it. “It’s beer, but its practically ginger
+
+"ale. Not very alcoholic.” She hands it over to
+you.
+
+TALIESIN: You can’t drink in real life and you
+still won’t drink on graph paper.
+
+MATT: A round of liquor for all of you guys will
+run you about three silver pieces. It’s not very
+
+expensive.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll do that as well. It’s exactly what I
+have.
+
+ASHLEY: What book are you reading?
+
+MATT: “Oh, nothing.” And she tucks it under. “Just
+keeping my mind busy. Anyway, welcome to stay if
+
+"you like. We don’t have food available here. You
+may have to go over to the Keystone Pub for that.
+
+"But we do offer finer sleeping arrangements.”
+
+TRAVIS: Is it a busy night? Any new travelers,
+anyone that caught your eye coming in before us?
+
+MATT: “Not to the degree that you have, no.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, I’m flattered.
+
+MARISHA: Well, I’m going to go get a drink.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got cards, I’m going to play and
+I’m going to drink. And we’ve got to discuss
+
+what’s happening tomorrow.
+
+TRAVIS: True. We’ll find our way over to a table.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, I’ll go get a table. Does someone
+want to tuck Kiri in?
+
+MATT: Kiri at this point is leaning up on the
+counter towards the woman. And goes (like Jester)
+
+“Don’t eat humans, okay.” The woman goes, “Aw!”
+
+LAURA: She’s the sweetest, isn’t she? She’s
+wearing a mask, she’s not really a bird! And I
+
+take her.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+LAURA: Oh! That’s surprising, 20.
+
+MATT: She goes, “Children and their costumes.”
+
+SAM: Yes, I know, right?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: She grabs her book and starts reading from
+behind the counter.
+
+TALIESIN: Can I see the cover when she grabs the
+book?
+
+MATT: Actually, it’s just plain leather.
+
+LAURA: (whispers) It’s Tusk Love. That’s
+definitely Tusk Love.
+
+MATT: So what are you guys doing?
+
+TRAVIS: We head over to a table in the corner to
+discuss.
+
+MATT: You got your drinks. They’re functional at
+best. This isn’t a bad establishment, but it’s a
+
+plain establishment. But it works. It’s you guys
+and one other patron, who currently seems to be
+
+deep in their cups, making it on their own. They
+are out of earshot; you have your own table.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we seem to be doing fairly well. How
+do we feel about setting out in the morning to–
+
+SAM: Shadycreek?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, Shadycreek Run.
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m ready.
+
+TRAVIS: Ophelia Mardun.
+
+LAURA: Sounds good.
+
+SAM: Was there anyone else here that we were
+supposed to see, or anything else we were supposed
+
+to do?
+
+LIAM: No, we are on a bit of a time crunch.
+
+SAM: We have to stop by this fungus place to get
+some potions.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll do that on the way out as soon as
+we put the cart together.
+
+LAURA: It opens at sunrise so we should be good.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve done what we needed. This is a one
+troll town, I think. Not a great time to be had here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, we can catch up on some rest. We got
+to get the carriage, right? Get the horses back.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, they’re at the docks or something.
+
+TRAVIS: That means I got to go over to the– Where
+did we stay before?
+
+MARISHA: The Keystone Pub.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ve got to get it from that guy.
+
+LAURA: He dropped them off at the place–
+
+SAM: The central stables.
+
+MARISHA: We paid way too much money to have him
+store our horses.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but we don’t know where the stables
+are.
+
+LAURA: The central stables, we have to ask where
+they are. We don’t have to go back to the other
+
+pub. Don’t worry, Fjord.
+
+TALIESIN: They may not give them to us unless he’s
+there.
+
+SAM: Hey, Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: I have validation, it’s okay.
+
+SAM: Yasha, I saw you asking about that book the
+lady had.
+
+ASHLEY: Yes.
+
+SAM: Do you want me to get it for you?
+
+ASHLEY: Yes. I would love that.
+
+SAM: All right.
+
+TALIESIN: I missed this.
+
+SAM: Maybe place an order or get her attention so
+I can go snag it real quick.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay, would you like me to try to–
+
+SAM: I don’t know.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’ll cast Mage Hand.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh, why not? Another round, please! And
+I’ll put a gold for everyone down.
+
+MATT: Okay, she goes, “Oh, of course, I’ll go
+ahead and get that for you.” She closes the book
+
+and puts it beneath the counter and runs off and
+grabs the bottle that she had previously poured
+
+and shakes it. It’s fairly empty, so she grabs
+another and then heads over to your table and
+
+begins to uncork and fill the drinks.
+
+SAM: As she’s filling, I’ll Mage Hand back and try
+to grab the book.
+
+MATT: Okay, you do not see where it is. You still
+have to have visual.
+
+SAM: Okay, I’ll walk over there, then.
+
+MATT: Make a stealth check.
+
+SAM: That’s not great. 14.
+
+ASHLEY: You could just be looking.
+
+MATT: Okay, she walks and is pouring drinks and
+looks over her shoulder in your direction, and is
+
+still pouring, but is looking at you.
+
+LAURA: Kids, huh? They’re always wandering off.
+
+MATT: “Apparently.”
+
+SAM: Goo goo ga ga. Do I see where the book is
+now?
+
+MATT: You do see it from your perspective, but she
+is watching you.
+
+TRAVIS: Uma, has anyone ever told you that you
+have eyes like the sea?
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+SAM: (imitating guitar)
+
+TRAVIS: Shit, nine. Come on, that’s my jam!
+
+ASHLEY: Yes, Uma, they are like a sky blue.
+
+MATT: She finishes pouring the drinks, caps it up,
+and goes, “Well, I appreciate the flattery, I
+
+"really do. Have a wonderful night.” Then walks
+back towards where she was sitting, but as she
+
+does so, her eyes are locked on you, Nott. Goes
+back to her stool.
+
+SAM: Damn it! Fjord, what was that? What was that?
+That’s not how you talk to a woman!
+
+TRAVIS: I’m not real practiced, I’m sorry.
+
+SAM: “Your eyes are like the sea?” We’re in a
+landlocked part of the place here. She doesn’t
+
+even know what that means.
+
+TRAVIS: I should’ve said like the swamp, right?
+Your eyes are like stagnant water, green and– no?
+
+Green and yellow in places.
+
+LIAM: I walk directly up to the bar.
+
+LAURA: They look like a troll took a shit in them.
+
+MATT: “Can I help you?”
+
+LIAM: Yeah, I’m good on drinks. I was just curious
+what it is that you’re reading.
+
+MATT: Roll a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: For a question? Okay.
+
+LAURA: She doesn’t like us very much.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, she hates us.
+
+MATT: She’s had a bad series of minutes with you
+guys.
+
+LIAM: Just a nine.
+
+MATT: “I’m reading a fine story.”
+
+LIAM: Is it fiction?
+
+MATT: “It is.”
+
+LIAM: I am so starved for a good book. We’ve been
+in the wild for a while. I don’t suppose there’s–
+
+I doubt it, but is there any place to find
+literature here?
+
+MATT: “I had to order this from Zadash,
+unfortunately.”
+
+LIAM: That sounds terrible. How long does it take
+for it to get here?
+
+MATT: “Well, the order goes out there, and pay
+upon delivery. It took me the better part of a
+
+"month to get here.”
+
+LIAM: I commiserate for your thirst for fiction. I
+struggle with it myself. How far in are you? Are
+
+you almost finished with it?
+
+MATT: “I’m about three chapters in. It’s just
+starting to get interesting.”
+
+LIAM: Is it a page turner?
+
+MATT: “Yes.”
+
+LIAM: Okay, I’m obviously just a little bit
+jealous, but I don’t want to take you away from
+
+your reading time.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Nine.
+
+MATT: There’s a little bit of text just barely
+visible at this proximity to the cover of the
+
+book, but you can’t make it out in this low
+light.
+
+LAURA: Does it look like a T, with a U, with an S,
+with a K. With an L–
+
+MATT: She takes it and closes it and puts it
+beneath the counter. “Is there anything else I can
+
+"help you with, sweetie?”
+
+LIAM: No, that’s fine, enjoy. I give her a wink
+and I go back to the table.
+
+ASHLEY: This is going to drive me crazy.
+
+SAM: Let’s fucking kill her and take the book,
+take everything in the place!
+
+MARISHA: We have been wanting to buy a bar.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, but you know what they say, it’s
+location, location, location.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, this town sucks.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s really not that good.
+
+ASHLEY: I’m going to go up to the bar.
+
+MATT: She’s just pulled the book out and looks up
+and goes, “Hi.”
+
+ASHLEY: Hello. Here’s the thing. You’ve made this
+very intriguing, this book that you’re reading,
+
+and I can’t leave here without knowing what it is.
+
+MATT: Make an intimidation check.
+
+MARISHA: Were you being intimidating?
+
+TRAVIS: The brachial artery flexes in her bicep.
+
+ASHLEY: My intimidation is minus two but we said
+we can use–
+
+MATT: Well, it depends on how you’re being
+intimidating. Are you going to physically threaten
+
+her to show the book?
+
+ASHLEY: No, no.
+
+MATT: Then it’s charisma-based.
+
+LAURA: You got this, Yasha!
+
+MATT: This is subtle.
+
+TALIESIN: No.
+
+ASHLEY: That would be a zero. Because I rolled a
+two, and my charisma is minus two.
+
+MATT: She goes, “I apologize, but–” (southern
+drawl) I apologize.
+
+ALL: (southern drawl) I apologize.
+
+MATT: “But your behavior, paid customer or not,
+has been lackluster, and I would appreciate if I
+
+"could have my privacy.”
+
+ASHLEY: I will give you privacy, I just don’t
+understand why we can’t know what you’re reading.
+
+MATT: “Why are you so interested in what I’m
+reading?”
+
+ASHLEY: Because it looks like it’s very good! I
+will go sit down, fine. I miss reading. I miss it
+
+a lot.
+
+LAURA: I have a book you can read, Yasha.
+
+ASHLEY: I want to know what she’s reading.
+
+SAM: Jester and Molly, you have not tried yet.
+
+MATT: Dungeons and Dragons.
+
+LIAM: We plan a heist for tonight. We wait until
+she’s asleep.
+
+TRAVIS: In the morning, we’ll send her for the
+horses and the carriage, and perhaps it’s time we
+
+turn in. I pound mine. Molly, are we bunking up?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m finishing this and I’ll be right
+up.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys finish up your
+respective drinks.
+
+TALIESIN: I go last.
+
+LAURA: I feel like we only need three rooms.
+
+SAM: It’s just an extra couple gold.
+
+TALIESIN: I leave two gold on the counter before I
+leave. For you no matter what, but if you tell me
+
+what it is, I promise I won’t tell the rest of
+them. I just want to lord it over them.
+
+MATT: She palms the two gold. She goes, “It’s
+called Feathered Leather.”
+
+TALIESIN: Enjoy your evening. Cheers. And I head
+upstairs.
+
+MATT: She pockets the gold happily.
+
+LIAM: It’s about Vax.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Some bard somewhere in the past has penned a
+story about a dark knight in leather and feathers.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve seen that Tumblr post.
+
+TALIESIN: For the record, I tell none of you.
+
+MATT: You guys manage to get your evening’s rest.
+You gather your things, and the next morning–
+
+LAURA: Wait, before I go to sleep, I want to use
+my Pearl of Power and regain a 3rd-level spell,
+
+and I want to cast Sending on my Mama. And I’m
+going to say: Hi, Mom! I got a new spell. I want
+
+to say thank you for the package you sent me. I
+know that it was really hard for you to do that
+
+and I love you so much and I hope everything’s
+okay with you, and I got your letter and the ink
+
+and I think it’s so–
+
+MATT: As you’re talking, you hear, in your mind,
+this gasp. “Jester, I don’t know how, but it’s so
+
+"good to hear from you. Did you get my package?”
+
+LAURA: Oh no, can I respond to it? Oh no!
+
+MATT: She pauses. “Well, wherever you are, I love
+you, and I hope you are well, If–” and it cuts off.
+
+ALL: (groaning)
+
+MARISHA: Maybe next time if you write down the
+words, so you can know which are the most
+
+important words.
+
+LAURA: Okay, I need to tell her I got her package.
+
+MATT: I wasn’t counting the words, but I think
+that gets the gist of it. Probably somewhere in
+
+there. I’m sure I’ll get 14 tweets going like,
+“That was only 22 words.” It’s fine.
+
+TALIESIN: Three of those tweets will be from me.
+
+MATT: I know. Oh, I know, Taliesin. That’s why I’m
+nipping this in the bud. Yeah.
+
+TRAVIS: Before we turn in turn in, it’s just Molly and I
+in our room, right?
+
+Can I confide in you for something?
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yes, please.
+
+TRAVIS: I’m a little unnerved about this sword.
+Would you stay and watch for a second?
+
+TALIESIN: This seems like a bad idea. Sure.
+
+TRAVIS: All right. I’ll summon the Wastehunter
+Falchion.
+
+MATT: As it emerges from your grasp, you can see
+there’s the slight splash of sea water across the
+
+wall. There you can see, in the center of the
+pommel– previously was just the well-crafted hilt
+
+to the blade– you see a single, yellow, lidless
+eye on each side.
+
+TALIESIN: Does it look like anything? Does it
+remind me of a mystic symbol of any kind?
+
+MATT: Make an arcana check.
+
+TALIESIN: Just an arcana check. Let’s see what
+happens. Natural 20.
+
+LAURA: Whoa!
+
+TALIESIN: I’m back, baby.
+
+MATT: There’s no religious symbology here. In
+thinking through, there’s nothing that gives you
+
+the essence that there’s any sort of belief system
+locked into this that you’re aware of. Looking at
+
+it, one: it immediately reminds you of whatever it
+is he jammed into his stomach, and two: the image
+
+of it, and the sea-based theme of these experiences
+that Fjord has been having, leads you to believe
+
+that this is something very old, and something
+that resides probably beyond land and possibly
+
+beyond the sea. That’s as much as I can give you.
+Which is more than you should’ve gotten, but you
+
+rolled a 20.
+
+TRAVIS: Does the iris move at all, or is it
+static?
+
+MATT: Currently it’s just static.
+
+TALIESIN: What happened to you on that boat?
+
+TRAVIS: Um.
+
+TALIESIN: Something might have followed you.
+
+TRAVIS: Nothing like this. I’ve never seen
+anything like this eye before. Only in that dream,
+
+where Vander was holding it, pushing it into his
+chest, but this is smaller. This sword just seems
+
+to take in things.
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to forgive me for this
+later. I cast Friends.
+
+MATT: Okay. For the next minute, you have
+advantage on your charisma checks.
+
+TRAVIS: I forget what Friends does.
+
+MATT: It doesn’t do anything to you, it just gives
+him advantage on charisma checks.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh okay. Oh nice.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, I’m so sorry, not Friends,
+it’s Charm Person.
+
+MATT: You’re doing Charm Person?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m so sorry, it’s Charm Person.
+
+MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+TRAVIS: Why did I ask? That’s an 18.
+
+MATT: He resists it. You feel your mind begin to
+cool with subtle arcane influence and you shrug it off.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s something in you that you either
+don’t want to talk about or don’t remember
+
+properly, I think.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, you could’ve just asked.
+
+TALIESIN: No, I don’t think I could’ve.
+
+TRAVIS: If anything, it’s the latter.
+
+TALIESIN: I know.
+
+TRAVIS: There’s not a lot I remember about being
+in the ocean.
+
+TALIESIN: Which is why I didn’t ask.
+
+TRAVIS: Right.
+
+TALIESIN: I trust that you’ll tell me everything
+you know, but I’m not sure you even know
+
+everything you know.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe, but that’s why I asked you to stay
+in the room. I’m not entirely sure I trust this thing.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t think it matters where the sword
+is at all.
+
+TRAVIS: Maybe. Can I try and focus on the sword? I
+close my eyes, put both hands on the hilt, and
+
+just concentrate on it real hard?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Sword of Sea Eye, give me sight beyond
+sight. Go ahead and make an intelligence check.
+
+Just a straight roll with your intelligence
+modifier.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. That’s a ten.
+
+MATT: Ten. You grab it and you focus, and you
+focus, and much like an element of the dreams
+
+you’ve had and the spells that you pull from
+whatever this agreement you’ve made with this
+
+entity may have been, you can feel that thread
+connection from you to something beyond your
+
+hemisphere. It’s like that sensation of someone
+looking at you, and you just know someone’s
+
+looking at you, and you turn to look and there’s
+nobody’s there? It’s like that, all the time,
+
+right now. But, you can’t read more than that.
+
+TALIESIN: Perhaps, I think, may I?
+
+TRAVIS: Don’t take any offense, but no. I make it
+disappear.
+
+TALIESIN: Something from the deep is in that. I
+don’t know. It reminds me of something.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Me too. I’m just not sure what.
+Please, I only confided in you because I feel like
+
+the strange is your ballpark.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll keep an eye, and no matter what,
+keeping each other safe, it’s what we do. It’s
+
+what you do when you got a group of people.
+
+TRAVIS: Agreed.
+
+TALIESIN: We’ll keep you safe.
+
+TRAVIS: I appreciate it, Molly. I’ll turn in.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll probably be up for an hour, then
+I’ll turn in.
+
+MATT: Okay. As we go to rest for the evening,
+let’s go ahead and make this our break! So, we’ll
+
+come back here in just a few minutes to pick up
+the story for the next leg of your journey. In the
+
+meantime, guys, enjoy these next few minutes.
+Enjoy the videos and chaos in between. We’ll see
+
+you here shortly.
+
+[break]
+
+MATT: Welcome back, everybody. Let’s go ahead and
+dive back in. As you all come to consciousness the
+
+following morning, a much more comfortable sleep
+than that you had at the Keystone Pub, you
+
+gather your things. Upstairs, there are a few more
+patrons in the process of waking up since there is
+
+not a meal provided for sleeping here. They are
+just getting out the grogginess, having some
+
+coffee, some of them having some hair of the dog,
+and they all go about their business. What do you
+
+want to do with your day?
+
+LAURA: We have to go to that shop, Molly.
+
+TALIESIN: Let’s go to the shop, everybody. Anybody
+wants to go shopping can go shopping. Anybody else
+
+wants to wrangle up the cart?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I’ll go with you guys.
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll tell Uma to go collect the cart and
+horses from the–
+
+LAURA: You have to pay her to do it too.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll pay her.
+
+MATT: Okay. She goes, “To pick up your money at
+the stables, you say, on the docks, how can I
+
+"assure them that I’m allowed to do so if I did not
+check them in?”
+
+MARISHA: It is what you said!
+
+TALIESIN: We need a valet ticket.
+
+MARISHA: We do need a valet ticket. Did we get a
+valet ticket?
+
+SAM: I don’t think that we did.
+
+LAURA: I write a valet ticket really fast. Here
+you go! That’s–
+
+MATT: You forge it?
+
+LAURA: Yep.
+
+MATT: You have a forgery kit?
+
+LAURA: I do.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re not going to forge–
+
+TALIESIN: As much as I’m kind of into this–
+
+MARISHA: Look, if we don’t have one, you have to
+pay full price if you lose it.
+
+TRAVIS: Or we just kill them. I’ll go down and
+get it myself.
+
+LAURA: But you might have to go–
+
+TRAVIS: And then I’ll kill them.
+
+ASHLEY: You know what? I’m going to go with Fjord
+to get the cart.
+
+TALIESIN: Why don’t you all meet us at the– get
+the cart and you’ll meet us at the apothecary.
+
+ASHLEY: Okay. Just in case you need backup. If we
+need to kill them, we can.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys go ahead and head off. You
+gather the cart, easy enough to do. You gather
+
+your supplies, they’re all good to go. You guys
+are heading towards the Fungal Fount?
+
+LAURA: We are!
+
+SAM: Get a lot of healing potions! Oh, are we all
+going?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, the rest of us.
+
+LIAM: No, I want to go for a walk on the edge of
+town for something.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, will you take Kiri with you?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, of course.
+
+MARISHA: All right.
+
+SAM: You want me to come as well?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, of course!
+
+SAM: Get a lot of healing potions!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to!
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: Meet us at the apothecary.
+
+MATT: Kiri pipes up. She says, (as Jester) “Get
+into trouble.”
+
+LIAM: No, we are not going to get in trouble.
+
+MATT: (as Jester) “Get into trouble.”
+
+LIAM: Nein!
+
+MATT: (cooing)
+
+LIAM: Nein.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, that’s so cute.
+
+LIAM: Be good. Just going on a stroll, ja? We’re
+not going to kill anything, you’re not going to,
+
+you know. Just taking a walk.
+
+MATT: (as Caleb) “You know. Okay!”
+
+LIAM: You are pretty cute. Come on.
+
+MATT: Turns to Nott as you guys walk off.
+(whispers) “Wrapped around his weenie!”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: You continue making your way to the edge
+of the swamp. The two of you–
+
+MARISHA: She’s our new brand mascot.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way to the Fungal Fount.
+The doorway is partially ajar. It is open.
+
+MARISHA: As we walk there, I, to the rest of these
+four, three, say– no! You’re not there. To these
+
+two, say, all right, guys. Real talk. What are we
+going to do with Kiri?
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve been thinking about that.
+
+MARISHA: We can’t keep her with us.
+
+LAURA: Why not?
+
+MARISHA: She’s going to die.
+
+TALIESIN: In front of you.
+
+MARISHA: Bloody. Horribly. Brutally.
+
+LAURA: Oh, man.
+
+MARISHA: You’re going to be real sad about it. So
+we got to let her go.
+
+LAURA: We can’t just let her go!
+
+MARISHA: No, we can’t let her go. But I’m saying
+we have to let her go from our group. Somewhere safe.
+
+LAURA: What if I try to get a hold of her parents
+or something?
+
+MARISHA: Can you do that? Do you need to know who
+her parents are?
+
+TRAVIS: Aren’t they dead?
+
+MARISHA: No, they got separated. But we don’t know
+yet.
+
+TALIESIN: But we have a map and maybe she can show
+us on the map where she thinks she needs to go?
+
+LAURA: We can’t just– what are we going to do?
+Just send her on her way by herself?
+
+TALIESIN: No! I didn’t say that. I said if we know
+which direction she needs to head, we can figure
+
+out possibly if we can get her there.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+MARISHA: I think we need to get her out of this
+swamp, because this place is terrible. And I
+
+wouldn’t want to live here.
+
+TALIESIN: No one should live here.
+
+MARISHA: I’m not going to subject a poor little
+child bird to that.
+
+TALIESIN: She does drink a lot and occasionally
+seem interested in eating human flesh. I’m not
+
+entirely– well, that’s a subject for another
+day.
+
+MARISHA: You’re right! She could grow up and run
+this town.
+
+LAURA: She could be like her own Gentleman.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, she’s her own mob boss.
+
+LAURA: (gasps) I hope so.
+
+MARISHA: I like that. I have high hopes for her.
+Yeah.
+
+LAURA: Maybe I can talk to her and have her write
+down exactly what her parents look like or
+
+something and I can try to send a message to them?
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I think that’d be good. We’ll start
+there. Put a pin in this for now.
+
+TRAVIS: Just draw some birds.
+
+LAURA: They’re birds.
+
+TALIESIN: Birds. You know, there’s a bird in a
+bonnet and another one smoking a pipe. That’s all
+
+I really– (coos) Just think about that. Yeah.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way into the Fungal Fount,
+and there you see, waiting anxiously, there’s the
+
+sallow dwarf sitting in a small chair in the
+corner going, “Ah, so, where is the heart? Did you
+
+"bring it?”
+
+LAURA: Right here.
+
+MATT: “Right, okay. So I’ve been working on
+something for you based on what you requested and
+
+"I have these.” He puts these two vials on the
+table. One of them is a healing potion, larger
+
+than the basic kind. The other is a sky blue
+color, and as he sets it on the table, as soon as it
+
+impacts, there’s a flash and you see some sparkles
+kind of going (energy crackling) through it before
+
+it settles. And he goes, “I’m going to be honest,
+not entirely certain the extent of what this is.
+
+"It protects you from something. I know the basis
+of it is insulation.”
+
+LAURA: What’s the gold stuff in there?
+
+MATT: “I do not see what you mean.”
+
+LAURA: What’s the stuff that swirled around when
+you put it on the table?
+
+MATT: He taps it again and (energy crackling). It
+looks like a spark.
+
+LAURA: What is that?
+
+MATT: “I don’t know. But I bet it’s interesting.”
+
+TALIESIN: If we knew the name of everything we put
+down our gullet, there would be no fun, ever, any
+
+time. I’m very excited.
+
+SAM: It’s riboflavin.
+
+LAURA: What else?
+
+MATT: “I will trade these and put a topper of 50
+gold pieces.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m all right with this.
+
+LAURA: I think that sounds like a pretty cool
+deal.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m into it, yeah.
+
+MARISHA: I’ll throw in for it. I’ll throw in 25
+gold.
+
+LAURA: Wait, no. Beau, no. He’s paying us.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, I mean–
+
+TRAVIS: Holy shit.
+
+MARISHA: I’m pulling a Grog.
+
+MATT: You’re totally pulling a Grog!
+
+MARISHA: I thought you said it was going to cost
+an extra 50 on top. I’m sorry. Yeah, give us that
+
+money.
+
+MATT: “All right. If you don’t mind–”
+
+MARISHA: Deal!
+
+MATT: He grabs the leather and carefully moves it
+off the table and puts it in a small chest, closes
+
+it. Goes and counts out 50 gold pieces, shoves it
+your way and goes, “Thank you for your patronage.”
+
+TALIESIN: So if we were to take that 50 and
+possibly spend it on something in this shop, is
+
+there anything that we should take a look at?
+
+MATT: “Depends on what you’re looking for. I have
+various balms and salves to help with headaches,
+
+"wounds that are festering. Some that help with
+helping your manhood come to light, some that help
+
+"you with sleeping if you’re having insomnia–”
+
+MARISHA: What’s the manhood thing?
+
+TRAVIS and SAM: Oh, boy.
+
+LAURA: They help you– sometimes guys have
+problems with the (tongue click) and then there’s
+
+potions that can help with that.
+
+MARISHA: Ah.
+
+LAURA: My mom said.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m curious about the sleeping thing you
+have, and again, anything you’re particularly
+
+proud of.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to look around the store.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m always excited for a surprise.
+
+MATT: Essentially, over about five minutes of him
+showing you around, they’re mostly general herbal
+
+remedies for day to day ailing elements. It looks
+like all the special stuff that he had at his
+
+disposal went into those potions. Everything else
+has been general helping, like melatonin. Things
+
+that help you a little bit.
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take some sleep aids and whatever
+helps you sleep. Some sleepy tea or whatever.
+
+Anything like that.
+
+MATT: “All right. That’s five silver for ten
+doses.”
+
+SAM: (whispering) Get the manhood thing.
+
+TALIESIN: You buy your own issue. Whatever you’ve
+got a problem with, you can buy it yourself. This
+
+is not where my coin is going. And anything that
+smells nice, just whatever.
+
+MATT: “There are some lavender oils I would
+recommend to you. Here it is. I hope you like it.
+
+"It’s quite nice.” He rubs some on his wrist.
+“Yes.”
+
+TALIESIN: How much for the whole deal?
+
+MATT: “For the oils and your sleeping, I’ll put it
+around– I’ll say seven silver pieces.”
+
+TALIESIN: Can you do change? One gold?
+
+MATT: “I can.” He gives you three silver back.
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you.
+
+(whispering and giggling)
+
+MARISHA: We’re having our own story over here.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m aware. I’m ignoring it.
+
+MATT: You guys finish up there.
+
+TALIESIN: I’m fine. I’m going to put it in my
+additional notes right now.
+
+MATT: Okay. You guys are heading off to the edge
+of the swamp with Kiri.
+
+LIAM: This is so silly. I’m looking for a good
+stone.
+
+SAM: What kind of a stone? A big stone? A skipping
+stone?
+
+LIAM: No. Something with a little bit of heft to
+it.
+
+SAM: Do you need it for a spell?
+
+LIAM: Not exactly. I don’t really have anything
+specific. I guess I’ll know it when I see it.
+
+Something about yea big. You know, my father used
+to tell me that if a stone had a ring around it
+
+all the way, it was lucky.
+
+SAM: If a stone had a ring around it?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, like a natural formation, a
+coloration, right? It doesn’t matter, though. I
+
+start looking for a stone.
+
+SAM: Kiri, help us look for a stone.
+
+LIAM: A good one.
+
+SAM: I’ll look with him.
+
+MATT: (chirping) Make an investigation check, one
+of you with advantage, if you’re aiding the other.
+
+LIAM: I will make the check with your help, if
+that’s okay.
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Okay. That is a 13.
+
+MARISHA: With advantage.
+
+LIAM: Oh. That is a 14.
+
+MATT: All right. What particularly are you looking
+for?
+
+LIAM: A stone about as large as a malformed
+baseball, I suppose.
+
+MATT: Okay. It takes you upwards of ten minutes,
+not very long, until you find one that’s roughly
+
+that size. It’s not perfectly spherical. It’s got
+its imperfections, but it’s pretty smooth.
+
+LIAM: Is there a ring around it?
+
+MATT: I’ll say there’s a very faint ring around
+it, sure.
+
+LIAM: That’s a lucky rock.
+
+SAM: What will you use it for?
+
+LIAM: I’m not sure, exactly. I have some ideas.
+
+MARISHA: Murdering people in their sleep.
+
+SAM: You know, Caleb, I never told you this
+before, but when we met that dragon lady– Carrie?
+
+Kaylie? Kali?
+
+LIAM: Cali.
+
+SAM: Cali? That’s a lot of K’s. She gave me this
+scroll of Invisibility. I’ve been hanging onto it,
+
+but I didn’t know if you wanted to look at it and
+maybe learn from it, or something?
+
+LIAM: I mean, does an armored bear shit in the
+woods? Oh yeah, I want to see it! Let me see it.
+
+SAM: Here, here, yes. I didn’t want the others to
+see it, just in case.
+
+LIAM: Ooh, that’s a good one. Ja.
+
+SAM: Do you want it? Can you learn that now?
+
+LIAM: I mean, I could use it right now, but that
+seems detrimental. If I had proper funding and
+
+materials, but maybe later. I’m going to keep it
+safe, for the moment.
+
+SAM: Great. Also, I’m so sorry that I got you in
+trouble with Beau for the whole bowl incident. I
+
+didn’t realize that she was going to freak out on
+you like that.
+
+LIAM: Neither did I, but we’re figuring it out.
+
+SAM: You took a walk with her. Was that okay? Was
+it awkward?
+
+LIAM: Ja, that was fine. She’s probably a good
+egg.
+
+SAM: I think so, too. In her weird, sort of stoic
+way, she seems to care about you.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, she’s a prickly pear, but she’s not a
+bad person.
+
+SAM: Do you think she was dropped on her head or
+something? She’s very sort of, you know–
+
+(grunting). You know what I mean? (grunting)
+
+LIAM: I think you and I are a little “Eh,” in our
+own particular way.
+
+SAM: Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.
+
+LIAM: I mean, she’s abrasive, but that has its
+uses. Right tool for the right job. Right Kiri?
+
+MATT: (as Jester) “Go fuck yourself!”
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Kiri knows what I’m talking about.
+
+MATT: (chirping)
+
+LIAM: You’re good? You’re still good?
+
+SAM: I’m very good. Yes.
+
+LIAM: Things are looking up, I think.
+
+SAM: Things are looking up and, you know, earlier
+you said that I could come talk to you whenever I
+
+want, and thank you for that. That makes me feel
+very good. Yeza was his name. The halfling man.
+
+Before. That’s all. I just wanted to say his name
+out loud. It’s been a while.
+
+LIAM: That’s a good name. Names are important.
+
+SAM: Yeah. But you got your rock!
+
+LIAM: Got my rock.
+
+SAM: All right. Let’s rock out.
+
+LIAM: Kiri, come on.
+
+LAURA: Before we leave, or as we’re leaving the
+store, I want to say: Molly, stay inside for a
+
+little bit, okay? And keep talking to the guy,
+okay? For just a minute.
+
+TALIESIN: All right.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to use my paint, and I’m going to
+change the sign to “The Fungal Fart.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All righty. Make a sleight of hand check, if
+you don’t mind. I’ll give you advantage if you
+
+manage to succeed on a deception check.
+
+TALIESIN: All right. What are you going to do with
+that heart anyway?
+
+MATT: “Well, I have many possible uses. I could
+extract all sorts of–”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a seven.
+
+MATT: So just make a roll.
+
+LAURA: Ooh. 20!
+
+MATT: With a quick flourish, you complete a fairly
+accurate recreation of the font utilized, in its
+
+glorious Papyrus, without him noticing from behind
+the door. With that, you go and complete your
+
+conversation. The rest of you meet up just as you
+hear the clomping of horse hooves. All of you
+
+gather in the center of the Puddles. The clomping
+is this splashing as there’s still two inches of
+
+water in this section of Berleben. (wet clomping)
+
+MARISHA: Ugh. I think I’m getting athlete’s foot
+from all the moisture in my shoes from this place.
+
+LAURA: I can heal that.
+
+MARISHA: Really? It’s so itchy.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s called “jungle rot.”
+
+MARISHA: Ugh. Really?
+
+LAURA: Hey, you’ve got our stuff!
+
+TRAVIS: Whose stuff?
+
+TALIESIN: Is everything relatively all right on
+the cart? Doesn’t look like it’s been–
+
+MATT: You guys take a moment to look through.
+Everything’s intact.
+
+ASHLEY: We had to kill them all, but we got it.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Yasha was surprisingly effective.
+
+LAURA: That’s not surprising.
+
+TALIESIN: I trust you. It’s the only way to be
+sure.
+
+MATT: Kiri comes up. (like Caleb) “She’s probably
+a good egg.”
+
+MARISHA: What does that mean?
+
+SAM: She could’ve learned that from anyone. Anyone
+with a mildly Zemnian accent.
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “Yeza was his name. The halfling
+man. From before.”
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Shut up! Shut up, Kiri!
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “Shut up! Shut up, Kiri! Shut
+up!”
+
+LAURA: Yeza?
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “Yeza.”
+
+LAURA: Was he the halfling guy?
+
+TRAVIS: Did you say “Yeza,” Kiri?
+
+MATT: (like Nott) “Yeza was his name. The halfling
+man. From before.”
+
+LIAM: The gimp we were joking about under the
+floor of that place.
+
+LAURA: Aw.
+
+SAM: Aw what?! Don’t look at– I’m turning green!
+
+MATT: All right. You guys gather your things, get
+back onto your cart and your horses, and head
+
+southward, exiting Berleben, leaving this swamp
+town behind, hopefully for good. Making your way
+
+back onto the road. Which direction are you going?
+You have a map.
+
+MARISHA: Where’s the map?
+
+SAM: Northeast.
+
+TRAVIS: Northeast to Shadycreek Run.
+
+LAURA: While everyone’s figuring it out–
+
+SAM: Wait, we have to go around Hupperdook.
+
+LAURA: Hupperdook!
+
+MATT: You guys heading to Hupperdook on the way?
+
+MARISHA: Or we can go through Hupperdook.
+
+SAM: There’s a ridge line there, right? There’s
+mountains?
+
+MATT: Those are high mountains.
+
+SAM: Silberquel Ridge?
+
+MATT: The Silberquel Ridge is a very high series
+of mountains.
+
+SAM: We would have to have to go around it–
+
+LAURA: So we’d pass by Hupperdook.
+
+MATT: There are roads, or there is cutting through
+the open fields and nature. That’s your choice to
+
+make. Looking at the map here.
+
+TALIESIN: We have some weights to put down.
+
+SAM: So we have to go around these mountains. We
+can either go to the east past Hupperdook. Because
+
+we’re going to Nogvurot, right, up there?
+
+MATT: You guys are heading this direction. As far
+as you know, Shadycreek, which is over here in the
+
+corner–
+
+SAM and LIAM: Shittycreek.
+
+TALIESIN: But there seems to be the crossroads up
+there. There seems to be a path through the
+
+forest–
+
+SAM: We could go around Hupperdook way, or we
+could go Rexxentrum way.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we go Rexxentrum, just because
+there’s an army marching that direction.
+
+LAURA: But Rexxentrum is the capital.
+
+LIAM: That place is very busy.
+
+LAURA: We should probably stay clear and go to
+Hupperdook.
+
+SAM: You’ve been up there, haven’t you, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, but there’s a war brewing, and that
+place is the center of it all.
+
+SAM: But you might know some folks who could help
+us.
+
+ASHLEY: That man Trent Ikithon or whatever is in
+Rexxentrum.
+
+LAURA: That Trent guy?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, that Trent guy.
+
+MARISHA: Wait, is in where? Rexxentrum?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, don’t you remember? When we talked
+to him he said if we wanted to meet up with him to
+
+talk more, he was in Rexxentrum.
+
+LIAM: I thought we were on a timetable to get
+these things done for the Gentleman.
+
+TRAVIS: And we’re trying to be sly. We want to
+avoid eyes.
+
+LAURA: Tell you what, we’ll go Hupperdook on the way
+up, and then we can do Rexxentrum on the way back.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just going to say, I’ve heard some
+pretty crazy stories through the grapevine about
+
+what goes on in Hupperdook.
+
+SAM: What goes on in Hupperdook?
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t believe you’ve ever heard a
+crazy story about anything happening anywhere.
+
+MARISHA: Are you challenging me?
+
+TALIESIN: I’m challenging you for details.
+
+MARISHA: So, all right. City’s got a lot of
+gnomes, and they’re filled with industry, and they
+
+work all the time. But at night, they party.
+
+LAURA: Gnome parties.
+
+MARISHA: Work hard, party hard. It’s what that
+city’s all about.
+
+LAURA: And they live in mushroom houses.
+
+MARISHA: I don’t know about the mushroom houses
+thing, but I’ve heard some crazy– they have
+
+ragers every night.
+
+ASHLEY: I’ve heard gnome parties are the craziest
+kind.
+
+SAM: Are you making this up?
+
+MARISHA: No. Not at all.
+
+LAURA: Insight check!
+
+MATT: Make an insight check, both of you.
+
+SAM: 18.
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: As far as she’s aware, she’s telling the
+truth.
+
+LAURA: That’s amazing.
+
+MARISHA: I’m just saying, I’ve had some shady
+friends.
+
+LIAM: Ain’t no party like a Hupperdook party.
+
+MARISHA: I’ve had some shady friends.
+
+TRAVIS: Hupperdook it is.
+
+SAM: Let’s “dook” it up.
+
+MARISHA: I think they have one of the highest
+imports and exports for illicit substances. I
+
+don’t know. That’s just what I’ve heard.
+
+SAM: Okay, let’s go.
+
+TRAVIS: Let’s get it started.
+
+MATT: You guys are making your way along the
+Rillway Road eastward from Berleben, heading from
+
+here along Rillway. Heading past north of
+Felderwin, hitting the Felderwin Tillage, and then
+
+there’s a crossroads that leads to the northern
+Gravelway Path.
+
+SAM: We’re going that far–
+
+MATT: If you’re following the roads. If you guys
+are cutting away from the roads and going through
+
+the rough open fields, that can be done.
+
+LAURA: We have a carriage, let’s stay on the
+roads.
+
+MATT: Via road, it’s about 110 miles to the
+crosswo– crossroads, and then 120 miles along the
+
+Gravelway Path.
+
+MARISHA: To hewe? To the cwosswoads?
+
+MATT: It’s about a week’s worth of travel to get
+to Hupperdook from where you are.
+
+MARISHA: What’s in the cwosswoads?
+
+MATT: You’ll find out when you get there. You
+haven’t traveled there before.
+
+MARISHA: Is it a village? We don’t know.
+
+SAM: I’ve been there, haven’t I?
+
+MATT: You may have been there, actually. The
+crossroads, from what your experience is, folks
+
+who are making long travels stop there and might set up
+shop for a day or two to sell or trade whatever
+
+wares they have before they continue on the rest
+of their journey. And people from Felderwin and
+
+the Felderwin Tillage head up there sometimes to
+set up shop if there are people that are traveling through.
+
+LAURA: Like a flea market town.
+
+MATT: Kind of. It’s less a town, it’s maybe a
+handful of anywhere from four to 20 tents
+
+depending on what time of year it is.
+
+LAURA: It’s an outlet, outside of town.
+
+MATT: It’s a fantasy outlet.
+
+SAM: Cabazon!
+
+MARISHA: Yes!
+
+LAURA: I bet I can get 300 gold worth of diamonds
+for way less.
+
+SAM: We need that! And our money exchange.
+
+LAURA: Which, by the way, I want to talk to you
+guys. Here’s the thing; this spell that I have
+
+takes diamonds, in order to bring you back to
+life. I don’t have enough gold to buy all these
+
+diamonds for everybody, so–
+
+LIAM: So you’re asking if we would like to pool
+our resources for a handful of these diamonds for
+
+a perilous situation?
+
+LAURA: Well, yeah. Or if you want to be selfish
+about it, you can buy your own diamonds and then
+
+I’ll use those for you.
+
+TRAVIS: How big do these diamonds have to be, like
+little suckers?
+
+LAURA: Doesn’t matter, it’s just 300 gold worth of
+diamonds, but they’re going to be gone if you die.
+
+TRAVIS: That’s a significant diamond.
+
+MARISHA: How do you know which diamonds are our
+diamonds?
+
+LAURA: You keep your diamonds on you.
+
+MARISHA: But don’t you need them for the spell? Do
+we have a specific diamond pocket that, if we go
+
+down, you go in our diamond pocket?
+
+LAURA: Yeah!
+
+SAM: She’s got to hold all the diamonds.
+
+LAURA: No! You have your own diamond pocket and
+then when I save you, it’ll be like–
+
+SAM: We’re each going to have a pocket of 300
+gold–
+
+LIAM: I would rather you, as an accomplished
+healer, knew where the diamonds were on your
+
+person and got them lickety-split rather than you
+looking through my 32 pockets to find the
+
+diamonds.
+
+LAURA: Sounds good to me.
+
+LIAM: But yeah, I agree with you that we should
+pool our resources, that is a good idea.
+
+MARISHA: And whenever we steal jewelry off of
+people, maybe we keep it instead of selling it.
+
+LAURA: We just pop out the diamonds! We can still
+keep ruby jewelry and emerald jewelry–
+
+SAM: I will look for diamonds.
+
+ASHLEY: That’s all you need is diamonds?
+
+LAURA: Just diamonds.
+
+MARISHA: Do you have any spells that use rubies or
+emeralds? What about you, Caleb?
+
+LIAM: This is a little diamond I use for that one
+thing I do.
+
+MARISHA: But this doesn’t go away?
+
+LIAM: No, this one I spin it and surround it with
+arcane energy, and no, it does not go away.
+
+LAURA: What’s that about? How come he gets to keep
+his?
+
+SAM: Are you talking to the Traveler right now?
+
+LIAM: It’s a very studied practice; I spent years
+learning how to do it.
+
+SAM: He’s extremely smart.
+
+TALIESIN: What’s the Traveler doing up there?
+
+LAURA: Well, maybe he can fly, I don’t know!
+Sometimes he’s invisible, could it be he’s flying
+
+next to me? I don’t know!
+
+LIAM: Could you let her keep the diamonds?
+
+LAURA: Could we maybe keep the diamonds?
+
+MARISHA: Could you teach her how to do the spinny
+thing?
+
+TALIESIN: Could someone keep their eyes on the
+road as we’re moving forward?
+
+SAM: Let’s go!
+
+MARISHA: The Traveler is my co-pilot, it’s okay.
+He’s leading the way.
+
+LIAM: Traveler take the wheel.
+
+MARISHA and TRAVIS: (singing) Traveler take the
+wheel!
+
+MATT: Oh my god, guys.
+
+LAURA: While we’re going, I need to sit next to
+Kiri, and I’m going to pull out my sketchbook, and
+
+I’m going to ask her to write down everything she
+can think of about her mom and dad, and draw a
+
+little picture of them, because I’m going to try
+to do Sending for her mom and dad.
+
+MATT: Okay. She draws the best she can. Her
+drawings are rudimentary, but functional. You see
+
+two blackbird parents in somewhat geometric
+clothing.
+
+LAURA: That’s about how I pictured them.
+
+MARISHA: It’s American Gothic, but as birds.
+
+MATT: Basically. Best you can tell from what she
+writes down and communicates with you via the
+
+book, they were traveling from the east, heading
+west.
+
+LAURA: So they were going the opposite direction
+that we are.
+
+MATT: They are, yeah.
+
+LAURA: That sucks.
+
+MATT: You guys make your way out of Labenda Swamp,
+heading southward across the bridge past the river
+
+that breaks from the Ounterloch heading south.
+
+LIAM: Just a minor thing. While we’re traveling,
+I’m going to use my minor alchemy to turn a ring
+
+of the wood in the cart– I’m sitting criss-cross
+applesauce– and I make a ring of copper in the
+
+bottom of the wagon and place this stone in it. I
+place both hands on the side of the stone and I’m
+
+trying to channel my knowledge and ability into
+it. I’m futzing with it, that’s it.
+
+LAURA: I take a little paintbrush and I draw a
+smiley face on the rock.
+
+LIAM: I slap her hand.
+
+MATT: Because this is a longer journey, I’m not
+going to drag us through every single stage of it.
+
+But there are some elements that can happen during
+this journey.
+
+TALIESIN: You have died of dysentery.
+
+MATT: Yes, exactly.
+
+MARISHA: Did we ever find anything out about the
+Sending thing? How did that go? That’s what I want to
+
+know about first.
+
+MATT: Unfortunately, given the lack of details,
+lack of information–
+
+SAM: The fact that they can’t speak.
+
+TALIESIN: At some point, we want to pull out the
+map and show it to Kiri and see if she can point
+
+to anything on the map.
+
+LAURA: They’re not dead!
+
+TRAVIS: We’re going to get this fucking bird
+killed, y'all. I’m just saying.
+
+MARISHA: This bird’s going to die.
+
+MATT: The Sending spell isn’t able to connect with
+anybody, unfortunately, but you tried. First day
+
+of travel comes to a close; you reach the river.
+Actually, you don’t quite reach the river, you
+
+almost do. First night’s rest happens. For
+expediency, who wants to make the perception check
+
+for the evening’s rest?
+
+TRAVIS: I’ll do it.
+
+LIAM: I will also do it.
+
+MATT: Both individually?
+
+LIAM: I will do it individually.
+
+MATT: Both of you guys roll.
+
+LAURA: I like how this is like Final Fantasy
+traveling.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+LIAM: Ooh, I got a five.
+
+MATT: That’s better. For the evening’s rest–
+taking your breaks, keeping watch throughout the
+
+night– no incident. At one moment, there is a
+shifting of movement in the distance. Fjord, you
+
+go and check, and there is a family of foxes that
+are making their way through the field southward
+
+away as it gets colder. They’re starting to move
+southward, and you spook them off to get away from
+
+the traps.
+
+TRAVIS: Scat!
+
+MATT: The next morning, you guys get yourselves
+back up into the cart and continue on further. You
+
+pass beyond the river and start making your way
+towards the crossroads before your second day
+
+comes to completion. Who’s going to keep watch the
+next evening? All right, make the roll, guys.
+
+TALIESIN: Do you want advantage?
+
+LAURA: Let’s roll individual ones.
+
+TALIESIN: Individually. 20.
+
+LAURA: Oh, 17.
+
+MATT: Keeping watch throughout the evening,
+thankfully, no issues happen. You manage to keep
+
+watch, evening goes without issue. Your rest is
+fine, and you continue onto your third day of
+
+travel. Along the way, you do finally reach the
+crossroads here. As you come upon the area, you
+
+see where the road diverges. It continues in a
+southward curve and then a road that very starkly
+
+turns left and heads in a northeastern direction.
+There are a series of wooden signs up, and you do
+
+see three tents of varying sizes. There is a blue
+and white striped tent, a white tent, and a faded
+
+green one. A couple of carts are stopped off to
+the side, and some folks are looking in there. It
+
+looks like a very small merchant setup there, but
+if you were to inquire, you could see what’s
+
+available.
+
+LIAM: Wait a second. I send Frumpkin skittering
+off in that direction. As he’s leaving, I say,
+
+“Rub against some ankles. And listen.”
+
+MARISHA: Who are you talking to? Are you talking
+to me?
+
+SAM: I think he’s talking to the cat.
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LAURA: That would be funny.
+
+MARISHA: That would be weird if I walked up to you
+and said, “Did you want me to rub his ankles?”
+
+SAM: No, sometimes when he stares at you and
+doesn’t say anything, he is talking to you,
+
+though. So that’s a fair question.
+
+MARISHA: No, I’ve noticed that.
+
+TALIESIN: Have you ever actually tried rubbing his
+ankles when he says that?
+
+MARISHA: Can he still hear us, or can he only hear
+the cat?
+
+SAM: He only can hear the cat, but he can feel
+you, so poke him if you feel–
+
+MARISHA: Okay. What if I poke his ankles?
+
+SAM: That would be weird.
+
+MATT: Frumpkin listens about, and there are folks
+asking and trying to haggle prices. You get the
+
+sense that one of them, as Frumpkin looks up, has
+a small selection of fruits, some looking more
+
+tropical, probably further south-sourced, brighter
+oranges and yellow in color, some with vibrant
+
+green leaves.
+
+LAURA: Pineapple!
+
+SAM: Durian!
+
+MATT: The white tent goes by, has more of a
+general goods feel. There are tools, repair kits
+
+for travel. You see some bolts, two crossbows in
+the back wall, all sorts of general tools. It
+
+looks to be a general store and some basic means
+to defend oneself when on the road.
+
+LIAM: Any books?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: Any books, 13?
+
+MATT: No books. The green one appears to be mainly
+furs and leathers, some that are tanning on the
+
+outside, as well as bone jewelry made of teeth and
+bone of hunted animals.
+
+MARISHA: That’s cool. You guys know tents.
+
+SAM: We also need some warm clothes. Winter’s
+coming.
+
+TALIESIN: Some tents would be a great idea.
+
+LIAM: To justify all of this, he’s been muttering
+everything he sees. Bones, bone necklaces,
+
+pineapples.
+
+MARISHA: I want a bone necklace, but do you guys
+recognize any of these tent colors?
+
+SAM: I recognize the color green and white.
+
+TALIESIN: I generally don’t actually care about
+the theme of any city that I’m in because I’ve
+
+never bothered to learn. Does any of this look
+familiar before? Do I recognize any of these
+
+people?
+
+MATT: If you start walking and glancing through?
+No. They’re all various travelers. No one has
+
+crossed your path before, nobody of significance
+to your previous experience, no.
+
+MARISHA: I want some bone jewelry! I walk off that
+way.
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re going to need some general
+goods. I’ve got some ideas of some stuff we could
+
+use on the road.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you mentioned the tent thing.
+That’s not a bad idea.
+
+TALIESIN: We should have some tents.
+
+MATT: You head to the green tent, those who are
+going, to the one that has the bone jewelry. There
+
+is a human woman there, dark, weathered skin,
+leather and fur over her shoulders. She’s
+
+currently talking with somebody, and as you
+approach, “Terribly sorry. If you’re looking for
+
+"furs, bones, or leathers, look around. Feel free
+to ask. I will tell you what we are selling for.”
+
+MARISHA: Do you have any bracelets? A goblin took
+my jade one.
+
+MATT: “That’s unfortunate, but we do.” She turns
+around and there’s a few strips of leather that
+
+are rough on the edges but functional. One of them
+has a fur inlay, so it feels comfortable on the
+
+wrist. “I’ve made these myself.”
+
+MARISHA: Fjord, does this look like a little much?
+This feels like it doesn’t go with my outfit.
+
+TRAVIS: Are they thick or thin bones?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, does it feel out of place?
+
+MATT: These are leather.
+
+MARISHA: Oh, it’s just leather?
+
+MATT: The wristband that she has is leather, yeah.
+
+LAURA: If you got a thicker cloak, it would look
+real good with it.
+
+MATT: Are you looking for bone in particular?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: There is bone jewelry. There’s a bone choker
+that’s a series of finger bones that are lined end
+
+to end that goes around the neck, there’s one that
+can go on the wrist, looks like there’s a necklace
+
+that has a bunch of various canine teeth– not
+necessarily from a canine, but sharp teeth from
+
+some sort of creature.
+
+MARISHA: Where do these bones come from?
+
+MATT: “Oh, most of these were taken from various
+wolves, dire in nature.”
+
+MARISHA: Volves?
+
+MATT: “Wolves.”
+
+MARISHA: Wolves, wolves.
+
+MATT: “These are from the Zemni Fields, near
+Icehaven is where I hail. It’s a very
+
+hunter-trapper community up there. I bring the
+goods to sell this far south.”
+
+TRAVIS: Very impressive.
+
+LIAM: Frumpkin comes around a corner and Caleb
+sees that the entire party has left him in the
+
+cart, snaps out of it and scrabbles out, and
+starts hustling over that way.
+
+LAURA: Do you buy stuff as well, or do you only
+sell stuff?
+
+MATT: “Mainly meant only to sell, but if you have
+something worth buying, do present, please. I’m
+
+"curious.”
+
+LAURA: I’ve got a gator skin.
+
+MATT: She takes it. By the way, the gator skin is
+not tanned. It’s not cured. It is fucking nasty.
+
+As you pull it out of your haversack, it’s
+dripping with congealed blood. Flies immediately
+
+start gathering and she’s like, “Ugh.”
+
+LAURA: Super fresh!
+
+MATT: “I can tell. Not interested, sorry.”
+
+LAURA: We should probably tan this. I leave the
+tent.
+
+MARISHA: I buy the bone bracelet, throw her money,
+and say: thanks! And walk off.
+
+MATT: Okay, you didn’t ask how much it was.
+
+MARISHA: No.
+
+MATT: The bone bracelet runs you two gold. It’s
+not that expensive.
+
+MARISHA: Here.
+
+SAM: I disguise myself as a gnome, go in, and buy
+warm clothes.
+
+MATT: Okay. For the set of warm clothes, which is
+heavy leathers and fur that you can throw over, a
+
+leather cloak as well that you can bundle up in,
+and it straps over and buckles multiple times
+
+across the way. For you, it runs past your legs,
+almost, so you’d have to trim it up a bit, but
+
+that one will run you three gold pieces.
+
+SAM: Okay, done.
+
+TALIESIN: I want to hit the general store.
+
+MATT: As you approach the white tent, you see a
+female halfling there who is wearing a leather
+
+apron that has some tools tucked in there. There’s
+nobody currently at the station, so as you
+
+approach, she looks out to you. She has frizzy
+brown hair with some gray ones that are starting
+
+to sprout from the outside that’s pulled back and
+held in this giant poof of a ponytail. She looks
+
+out toward you and points and goes, “Oh, hello!
+Looking to buy something?”
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, I am. How fascinating that you
+caught me right in the moment where I’m ready to
+
+spend money.
+
+MATT: “Oh, great. What are you looking for?”
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I’ve got a couple problems.
+
+MATT: “Problems? I have, possibly, some
+solutions.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ve got a cart that keeps breaking down
+on me.
+
+MATT: “That’s a problem.”
+
+TALIESIN: If you’ve got a kit for something like
+that. Also, I was thinking about maybe putting
+
+some canvas on top of it, giving it a little bit
+of safety from the elements. I think I’m going to
+
+need at least four tents. I’ve recently come into
+a bunch of new companions and they really didn’t
+
+have what’s necessary to make our way through
+these wonderful, wonderful roads.
+
+MATT: “Tents, tents I can do. Two gold per tent.
+We have five ready. If you need four, throwing
+
+those all together if you’re buying a tent–”
+
+TALIESIN: Four’ll do it.
+
+MARISHA: How big are they? Are they four-person
+sleepers?
+
+MATT: They’re two-person tents each.
+
+TALIESIN: Actually, I’ll get five tents.
+
+MATT: “Five two-person tents. You’re buying me
+out. That’s ten gold, my friend.”
+
+TALIESIN: That’s perfect.
+
+MATT: Passes them over. They’re all rolled up and
+ready to go. “As far as repair kits go, these are
+
+"a little pricier. If you’re looking specifically
+for cart repairs, one kit I can sell to you for,
+
+"say, 25 gold pieces. That contains all that you’d
+require for any on-the-road going: wheel repairs,
+
+"your axle, equipment for keeping your horses
+attached to your cart.”
+
+TALIESIN: You wouldn’t happen to have any raw
+canvas I could use to possibly put a bit of a pup tent?
+
+MATT: “Raw canvas I can do, but beyond that, the
+rest of it’s up to you.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’ll take the repair kit.
+
+MATT: “25 gold for that.”
+
+TALIESIN: And however much basic supplies to put
+this together, and I’ll figure out how handy I am
+
+on the road.
+
+MATT: “All right. Rolled canvas here, I’ve got
+about 20 square feet of rolled canvas. Will that do?”
+
+TALIESIN: Will that do?
+
+MATT: Will it do?
+
+TALIESIN: Hmm. I’m used to yards.
+
+MARISHA: 20 square foot is pretty big.
+
+TALIESIN: If nothing goes wrong, it should work.
+Is it waxed and reasonable?
+
+MATT: “Reasonable. It’s weather-resistant.”
+
+TALIESIN: All right, we’ll just have to make a
+little–
+
+MARISHA: A little bubble?
+
+LAURA: Are we trying to do a covered wagon?
+
+TALIESIN: We’re trying to do a covered wagon.
+
+MATT: “For the treated canvas, if you’re taking
+the whole bolt, that’s going to be five gold.”
+
+TALIESIN: So we’re at 30 gold now.
+
+MATT: “30 gold, and with the tents, that puts it
+at 40 gold.”
+
+TALIESIN: 40 gold. All right, we’ve got the tents,
+we’ve got the canvas, and then just a little bit
+
+of lumber to put this whole thing together and
+that ought to do it.
+
+MATT: “Define ‘little bit of lumber.’ For the
+structure?”
+
+TALIESIN: Yeah, covered wagon-worth.
+
+MATT: “I don’t have much in the way of lumber. I
+have a few–”
+
+TALIESIN: Do you have bamboo? Whatever you have.
+
+MATT: There’s no bamboo. There are wood slats, but
+no super-long pieces that could be curved over.
+
+TALIESIN: All right, at the very least we can fake
+something for now. That’s fair. What’s my total
+
+right now?
+
+MATT: “40 gold.”
+
+TALIESIN: I could do 35.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+TALIESIN: That’s a nine! That’s nice.
+
+MATT: “The days grow colder, friend.
+Unfortunately, I’ve got to make ends meet.”
+
+TALIESIN: Can’t argue. 40 gold.
+
+MATT: “40 gold. Fantastic, thank you.”
+
+MARISHA: I toss Percy ten gold to reimburse him a
+little bit.
+
+LIAM: Oh, you did it again! That’s not Percy.
+
+TALIESIN: Two! I got two. One more and I get a
+free sandwich. Is that 40 total?
+
+MATT: 40 total.
+
+MARISHA: Was it Percy the time before too?
+
+TRAVIS: Stop saying it, stop saying the name.
+
+LAURA: No, keep saying it, maybe he’ll start
+rolling better.
+
+LIAM: He’s got his head shoved up the ass of a
+clock right now, leave him be.
+
+TALIESIN: That was a savage burn. Ugh.
+
+MATT: Anything else you guys need?
+
+LAURA: I’m heading back to the cart, spreading out
+the leather hides, and making them dry out.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, what is Fjord doing right now?
+
+MATT: What is Fjord doing right now?
+
+TRAVIS: He’s fucking bored out of his fucking
+shopping mind.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I see that.
+
+TRAVIS: He’s holding an invisible phone, scrolling
+social media.
+
+MATT: Checking Tinderbox?
+
+TRAVIS: Any sweet half-orc around here?
+
+LIAM: You look bored out of your mind.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m not much of a shopper.
+
+LIAM: Same, same. Me either. So far, so good,
+though, right?
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s been without incident, which is
+what we want.
+
+LIAM: I mean the lot of it. We’ve been together
+for weeks, now.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. Yeah.
+
+LIAM: There’s been some friction, but we’re still
+here.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah. Nothing we can’t overcome.
+Everything’s got its little bumps and growing
+
+pains, and I think we’ve had ours. You and Beau
+seemed to make up nice.
+
+LIAM: Oh, hell, that was nothing to when you held
+a blade to my throat. But we’re making it work.
+
+TRAVIS: Indeed we are.
+
+LIAM: You’re a good guy, I think.
+
+TRAVIS: Yeah, I think so too.
+
+LIAM: What does he look like when I say that?
+
+MATT: What do you look like when–
+
+TRAVIS: He smiles at you.
+
+LIAM: No, I know what your face looks like. What
+does it mean? Double rainbow, what does it mean?
+
+TRAVIS: It’s a pleasant smile.
+
+LIAM: Okay.
+
+SAM: Caleb, Caleb! They have rambutan, they have
+lychee, they have jackfruit, they have all sorts
+
+of different fruits.
+
+TRAVIS: What did you just say?
+
+SAM: They have all kinds!
+
+TRAVIS: What’s a lychee?
+
+SAM: It’s a white little– it’s got a big seed,
+it’s white, it’s sort of citrus-y, it’s really
+
+good. You can put it in liquor.
+
+LIAM: I am from the north. We have Brot,
+tomatoes, and cheese and that’s it.
+
+SAM: They may have tomatillo, I don’t know.
+
+LIAM: What?
+
+SAM: It’s really exotic stuff.
+
+LIAM: Well, you teach me. Good talk. Okay, show me
+what you’re talking about.
+
+SAM: Come, come. Do I recognize anyone in any of
+these tents?
+
+MATT: No. You do not.
+
+LIAM: That’s a dirty picture!
+
+LAURA: No it’s not, it’s a ballerina.
+
+LIAM: No, that’s a dirty picture.
+
+MATT: Anything else you guys wish to do? Or do you
+move on? Okay. With your supplies gathered, you
+
+load up back into your cart, and now shifting over
+to where you see the signs. The directions show:
+
+NW - Rillway Road to Berleben/Labenda Swamp, NE -
+Gravelway Path to Hupperdook/Silberquel Ridge, and
+
+then S - Rillway Road to Felderwin/Alfield.
+
+MARISHA: We want the Hupperdook one.
+
+TRAVIS: NE, Hupperdook.
+
+MATT: Making the left turn onto that road, heading
+northeast, you begin to make your way towards the
+
+Silberquel Ridge.
+
+TRAVIS: I guess we’re going slower than that.
+
+LAURA: Wait! Should I have asked if Kiri was cold?
+Do you get cold, Kiri?
+
+MATT: Kiri’s sitting there on the edge, eyes
+half-closed, and her feathers all puffed up. She
+
+looks over towards you, (coos).
+
+LAURA: Do you get cold? Yes? Or No?
+
+MATT: (like Jester) “Yes?”
+
+LAURA: You get cold. Oh, I run back in and try to
+get some warm clothes for Kiri.
+
+MATT: Okay, easy enough. It costs you three silver
+to get the proper thick fur material to give her
+
+enough to keep warm.
+
+LAURA: Something really pretty though.
+
+MATT: Eh, beggars can’t be choosers in this
+circumstance, but you get something functional.
+
+LAURA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Burlap, it’s all burlap.
+
+TALIESIN: Or really itchy wool.
+
+MATT: Continuing northward, as the sky gets subtly
+darker and darker, preparing for what is the
+
+coming dusk, you see ahead a caravan of carts
+heading southward along the road that’s going to
+
+intersect with your path.
+
+MARISHA: What? What’s ahead?
+
+MATT: A caravan of four carts, heading your
+direction, heading southward and going to cross
+
+your path.
+
+LAURA: Can we see?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: That was impressive. 15.
+
+MATT: Okay. Glancing ahead, there’s still enough
+light for you to make out details. They appear to
+
+be mostly human from what you can tell. Looking
+behind there looks to be a group of dwarf family
+
+members all gathered. They appear to be families.
+
+LAURA: Do they look like fancy wagons?
+
+MATT: They don’t. They look like wagons. And as
+they begin to approach, they turn and give you a
+
+wide berth like they’re about to make room to
+travel past you guys.
+
+SAM: It could be a diamond shipment.
+
+LAURA: Maybe we should ask.
+
+TRAVIS: Howdy! What news from the road up ahead?
+
+MATT: The gentleman at the front puts a hand up
+and the carts slow down a little bit. “Nothing,
+
+"just passing through.”
+
+TRAVIS: No dangers? Clear roads?
+
+MATT: “Roads are clear so far.”
+
+LIAM: What do the faces of the people who aren’t
+talking look like?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+LIAM: 17.
+
+MATT: 17. There are men, women, children. Mostly
+human. Three of the carts, one of them is a dwarf
+
+family. They all look somewhat nervous. General
+looking out, quieting the kids.
+
+LAURA: Have you been to Hupperdook?
+
+MATT: “We rode past, didn’t stop.”
+
+LAURA: Did you see the mushroom houses?
+
+MATT: “No.”
+
+LAURA: Damn it.
+
+MARISHA: Did you party any? Quick rager after the
+kids were asleep?
+
+MATT: “No. I’m sorry, we must be going.”
+
+SAM: There was no blazing drum and bass?
+
+MATT: The horses pick up their pace a bit more.
+
+SAM: I don’t believe you.
+
+TRAVIS: What do the kids do as they move on?
+
+MATT: The kids just kind of watch quietly as they
+begin to pass.
+
+TRAVIS: I didn’t like his demeanor.
+
+LAURA: No. (shouts) Where are you going? Are you
+safe?
+
+SAM: (laughs) We are the worst people.
+
+MATT: He looks back and says, “We’re heading
+south.”
+
+SAM: (shouts) What are you reading? What are you
+reading?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: “We’re just passing through. Heading
+south.”
+
+LAURA: I look at one of the kids. (whispers) Are
+you safe? Are you good? Are you safe?
+
+MATT: The kid kind of recoils from this
+blue-skinned, horned tiefling all of a sudden
+
+engaging him from across the way. The kid just
+kind of freezes in place.
+
+LAURA: I don’t know. I feel like they would’ve
+said if they were in danger or something.
+
+MARISHA: Trafficking kids?
+
+LAURA: Yeah. I’m afraid it’s like… I don’t know,
+I just feel like somebody’s not safe there.
+
+SAM: All right, I’ll cast Message on one of the
+kids.
+
+LAURA: Okay. Okay.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I’ll say, if you’re being kidnapped, you can
+respond to this message and tell me.
+
+MATT: There’s a pause, and the kid that you’re
+aiming at goes… Like big smile on the face.
+
+Looks over and sees you and kind of… “No, we’re
+just getting away… from our home.”
+
+SAM: That was like a real connection!
+
+LAURA: Ask what’s happening at their home!
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ll cast it again. Where’s home? You
+can respond to this message!
+
+MATT: “Nogvurot.”
+
+LAURA: Nogvurot. Oh, that’s where the people have
+been getting stolen from! People are getting
+
+stolen, remember?
+
+MARISHA: Wait. Yeah, Nogvurot is right where we’re
+going. We’re going past Shady… Shadycreek.
+
+SAM: There’s been a string of kidnappings there in
+town.
+
+MATT: Well, this is where you’re going, and
+Nogvurot is this way.
+
+LAURA: Oh, okay, so we can sort of avoid–
+
+MATT: You can go straight, or you can arc– it’ll
+take more time.
+
+MARISHA: But they’re next-doorsies.
+
+LAURA: We should avoid Nogvurot right now.
+
+MATT: You can hit it on the way back. It’s up to
+you.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. On the way back. On the way back.
+
+LAURA: After we’ve already taken care of the stuff
+so we get paid. Do we know how much time we have
+
+left before our time is up with the Gentleman’s
+timeline?
+
+MATT: Uh, with the days of travel… I’d have to
+go do the math again, and I’m sure that the
+
+Internet knows and has been keeping track–
+
+TALIESIN: I think we’re probably fine.
+
+MATT: I’ll check in with CritRoleStats to make
+sure–
+
+LIAM: And Caleb will tell the group.
+
+MATT: But since you’ve left, just estimating right
+now, I’d say it’s been about a little over a week
+
+as of now.
+
+LAURA: And we have a month.
+
+MATT: You have a month.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re killing it.
+
+LAURA: Okay. This is going to be the hard stuff
+now.
+
+SAM: Let’s continue on.
+
+TALIESIN: We’re basically gods.
+
+LIAM: Caleb is futzing again with the rock and
+just sort of massaging the four days of stubble
+
+that he has grown back, and his facial hair comes
+in as fast as Liam’s does so it’s already pretty thick.
+
+MATT: All right. You pass the caravan and they
+continue southward. Eventually it gets dark, if
+
+you guys want to stop and make a rest for the
+evening, you can. So, as you set off and set up
+
+camp, who’s keeping watch this evening?
+
+TALIESIN: We’ve got tents!
+
+ASHLEY: I’ll keep watch.
+
+MATT: All right. And you do have new tents, which
+is much more comfortable than the open air,
+
+bundled up with your blanket in the cold night.
+And as you travel further north, you know, it’s
+
+going to get colder, especially with the winter
+looming and the autumn coming to a close.
+
+SAM: One of us bought warm clothes.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right, who’s keeping watch?
+
+TRAVIS and SAM: Yasha and Beau.
+
+MATT: All right, go ahead and make a roll, guys.
+Or one of you with advantage. Your choice.
+
+SAM: Beau’s just looking at Yasha.
+
+MARISHA: Her bad. Did you see anything?
+
+ASHLEY: 15.
+
+MATT: 15? Okay.
+
+MARISHA: Because I don’t see anything.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Except for your eyes.
+
+SAM: They’re like the ocean.
+
+LAURA: Her eyes are like the sea.
+
+MARISHA: Your eyes are like the swamp. Super
+muddy.
+
+LIAM: Your eyes are like blue crayons.
+
+MARISHA: One’s like the swamp, one’s like the
+sky.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah…
+
+LAURA: (laughs)
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I mean, one’s like more purpley, but
+I guess that’s sky, or swamp?
+
+MARISHA: Yeah. It’s very like, very diverse
+biodomes in your eyes.
+
+LIAM: Ooh.
+
+TALIESIN: (whispers) How?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah…
+
+MATT: Not biome. Biodome.
+
+MARISHA: (laughs) Biodomes, you know?
+
+ASHLEY: Like a… I think that’s a film?
+
+MARISHA: You know, like– Yeah. Waterworld.
+
+TRAVIS: Pauly Shore movie.
+
+MARISHA: Let’s go.
+
+LIAM: We’re off the rails. We’re off the rails.
+
+MARISHA: Yeah.
+
+MATT: All right. The evening passes without issue,
+actually. Keeping a watch–
+
+TRAVIS: You call that “without issue?”
+
+MATT: Well–
+
+MARISHA: It’s natural. It’s in my blood.
+
+MATT: Touche.
+
+LIAM: You’re so cool, how do you fucking eat
+gravel so hard? Oh, man.
+
+MARISHA: It’s in my blood, man. It’s all a ruse.
+
+MATT: So. You wake up the next morning. You get
+the sense that, being the vigilant beast that you
+
+are, if anybody wanted to come close to inspect,
+immediately saw Yasha and went, “Nope!” You
+
+continue on the next day of travel. Heading
+upward. Northeast, further and further. You can
+
+begin to see the edge of the Silberquel Ridge, the
+mountain range that, when you were approaching the
+
+Labenda Swamp, began to rise and kind of loomed
+over the swamp, and then began to slowly get more
+
+distant. As you traveled southward the crossroads
+begins to come further into view again. The
+
+mountain range moving closer, more massive, kind
+of peeking over, this large– it’s very, very
+
+steep edges to the base of this mountain range.
+You get the sense that passage over or through is
+
+very specific. Or at least nowhere in visible
+sight. As you guys begin to crest into dusk for
+
+this next, fourth evening of travel, who’s keeping
+watch?
+
+SAM: Me and Caleb.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys go ahead and roll
+perception checks, please.
+
+SAM: Six.
+
+LIAM: 13.
+
+MATT: 13. All right. As you guys are just setting
+up, Caleb, you’re looking out past as everyone
+
+else is getting ready to bed for the night, and
+you look over and you can see what looks like a
+
+shape off in the grass. Looks like a– like a big
+mound, but it’s hard to tell from this distance,
+
+but there’s something in the grass.
+
+LIAM: There’s something deadly out there that
+wants to murder us all in our sleep.
+
+SAM: Well, it could just be an animal or
+something, right?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, it could be. Do you want to wake
+everybody up, or–
+
+SAM: Not yet, let’s find out what it is.
+
+LIAM: Well, I can’t see shit!
+
+SAM: I’ll go look. You stay here and be ready to
+wake.
+
+LIAM: Okay, well, hold on a second. Just wear my
+cat as a scarf. And she digs– dammit, my cat was
+
+a girl, but– never mind. He digs his claws into
+Nott’s neck and hangs in.
+
+SAM: I’ll flank around and try to see if I can see
+what this thing is.
+
+LIAM: And Caleb sits between Fjord and Beau and
+loses his sight and vision and listens.
+
+MATT: All right. So make a stealth check, please.
+
+SAM: One.
+
+TRAVIS: (laughs)
+
+SAM: Plus ten, but it was a natural one.
+
+MATT: Still a natural one.
+
+LIAM: Fuck a duck!
+
+(laughter)
+
+SAM: Get out of my eyeline! Get out of my eyeline,
+Wil Wheaton!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: It’s a 30-foot radius!
+
+SAM: You have sunglasses or anything I could
+wear?
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: As you begin to slowly approach, make a
+perception check, please.
+
+SAM: That’s a 12.
+
+LIAM: Do I get to make a perception check through
+Frumpkin’s ears?
+
+MATT: Sure.
+
+LIAM: Yass!
+
+SAM: Queen.
+
+LIAM: It’s a two!
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: All right. You hear nothing. You glance
+around the corner, and just beyond the grass, you
+
+can see an overturned cart.
+
+SAM: Not ours.
+
+MATT: Not yours. Another cart. It’s just on its
+side. It looks like it has a cover over the top of
+
+it. But it’s not–
+
+SAM: But that’s not where we saw movement?
+
+LIAM: No, we just saw a hump, right?
+
+MATT: You saw the shape. And the shape, as you
+approach, looks to be an overturned wagon, roughly
+
+about 100 feet off the road.
+
+SAM: Okay. I will cast Silent Image, and I will
+make it look like there’s just a curious human
+
+walking over there. (bad American accent) Hi, I’m
+an American man!
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: I pull out a wire and say, You’re onto this,
+right? This is a possible ambush, ja?
+
+SAM: It seems like– yeah? So, Chent goes over
+there and checks it out.
+
+TRAVIS: Chent?
+
+TALIESIN: When have you ever met a Chent?
+
+SAM: You know, good old Chent.
+
+MARISHA: I already hate him.
+
+MATT: Walks over there. Make a perception check.
+
+TRAVIS: He got a sweater around his neck and
+mid-thigh khaki shorts?
+
+MATT: 13?
+
+MARISHA: Crocs? Is he wearing Crocs?
+
+MATT: Nothing.
+
+SAM: Abercrombie and Fitch top.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Tell your man to check the cart.
+
+SAM: Yeah, he’s over there investigating. Nothing?
+Okay. I will withdraw him if nothing has
+
+happened.
+
+MATT: Okay.
+
+SAM: I didn’t– I take out my wire– I didn’t see
+anything move. I think it might just be a cart.
+
+LIAM: Probably but give it a moment.
+
+SAM: Okay. I’ll wait.
+
+LIAM: Tell him to do the Running Man.
+
+SAM: He’s not a good dancer; he’s a white guy.
+
+(laughter)
+
+LIAM: Ja I can relate, but just do it.
+
+TRAVIS: White man’s overbite, white man’s
+overbite– there it is!
+
+TALIESIN: Can’t handle.
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Okay. 15 now.
+
+MATT: 15. You see a brief– a split-second of
+movement. And you look and you see a crossbow bolt
+
+hit the edge of the cart–
+
+SAM: Near where Chent was?
+
+MATT: Near where he was standing. Who is still
+dancing.
+
+SAM: Oh, shit. No direction? Can I tell from its
+impact from whence it came?
+
+MATT: Not from this distance, no.
+
+SAM: Okay. (panicked breathing) Crossbow attack!
+Crossbow attack! Wake up everyone! I’ll take them
+
+out single-handed!
+
+LIAM: No, no, no, switch to the Cabbage Patch! And
+I start punching Fjord and Beau in the shoulders.
+
+MARISHA: (groans)
+
+LIAM: Shh! Quiet! Be quiet!
+
+SAM: I’m going to keep flanking around in the
+shadows, trying to stay out of trouble. Crossbow
+
+at the ready.
+
+LIAM: I start quietly handing over everybody’s
+mouth, “Wake up, there’s an ambush!” I’m scared of
+
+Yasha but I do it anyway. “Wake up, there’s an
+ambush!”
+
+MATT: As all of you come to consciousness, you
+glance over and you can see the dark shape, once
+
+Caleb points out the direction where it was. And
+as you’re coming around the side, Nott… because
+
+you did not roll a very good stealth–
+
+SAM: No, no, not at all.
+
+TRAVIS: You went forward and did not retreat?
+
+SAM: I was trying to flank around.
+
+MATT: You suffer six points of piercing damage as
+a crossbow bolt catches you in the thigh.
+
+SAM: (groans) I will reduce that to three.
+
+MATT: All right. You glance over to the side and
+you can see what looks to be a humanoid shape that
+
+darts down into the grass and begins shifting
+around the other side of the cart.
+
+LIAM: Caleb will, at this point, once everyone is
+awake– Yasha was the last one– go back in
+
+to see what is going on. Oh, shit. (stammering)
+Nott’s being attacked. Let’s go! And I jump out of
+
+the cart.
+
+SAM: Did I see where the creature went?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It ran down through the grass–
+actually, make a perception check, just as you’re
+
+trying to peer through the darkness here.
+
+SAM: Six.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you have no idea. They vanished into
+the grass and moved what you assume to be around
+
+the cart.
+
+LIAM: I am doing my best Vax impression and making
+my way through the grass.
+
+MATT: All right. The rest of you following?
+
+TRAVIS: Yes.
+
+MATT: All right. You guys are all–
+
+ASHLEY: I start walking towards the–
+
+MATT: Not carefully, just straight-on run in that
+space?
+
+MARISHA: No! Spread and flank? Spread and flank?
+
+LIAM: Still stealthing.
+
+MATT: You’re still stealthing?
+
+LIAM: I’m trying!
+
+MATT: I’d like all of you guys to make a stealth
+check, please. As you try and carefully approach.
+
+At the slow pace at which you are approaching, at
+that many feet away–
+
+LAURA: Natural 20!
+
+MATT: Nice!
+
+TALIESIN: Natural one!
+
+ASHLEY: 16.
+
+MATT: Natural one?
+
+LIAM: 14.
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+TRAVIS: Four.
+
+MATT: Four. Okay, Fjord and Molly lumbering across
+the field. In the meantime, two other figures
+
+jump up from aside the cart, and both take
+crossbow shots at you. That’s going to be a 16?
+
+SAM: Armor class is 16.
+
+MATT: Just hits. And the other one is– that’s a
+12. That doesn’t hit.
+
+SAM: Okay.
+
+MATT: So this one… you’re going to take four
+points of piercing damage.
+
+SAM: I already used my, whatever, reaction, so
+I’ll take the full four.
+
+MATT: Okay. They both kind of duck down behind,
+using the cart to put a buffer between you and them.
+
+SAM: So now I kind of know where they are.
+
+MATT: You know where they are, yes.
+
+SAM: But they’re hiding.
+
+MATT: Correct.
+
+TRAVIS: Hiding in the grass. Caleb, light 'em up.
+
+MATT: You guys are rushing in that direction. You
+can see, you see two figures dart up and then Nott
+
+kind of like (grunt). Nott is very visible in
+the field.
+
+SAM: Can I use my action to message them saying,
+“There’s two or three figures behind the cart!”
+
+and then I’ll hide?
+
+LIAM: And Caleb heard Fjord say that and just went
+(fwoof) and there’s four globes floating above us.
+
+LAURA: I’m going to Invoke Duplicity.
+
+MATT: Okay, you Invoke Duplicity. As Jester’s
+stealthing below through the field, two Jesters
+
+suddenly appear where once there was one.
+
+LAURA: And I’m going to send her out next to
+Molly.
+
+MATT: All right. Molly and Fjord, you guys rush
+forward as the little globes of light all of a
+
+sudden light the area up a bit, like it has a very
+faint lantern light in the vicinity.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to move on the opposite side of
+where Nott is and do like a quick runaround and
+
+try and flank.
+
+MATT: Okay. Fjord?
+
+TRAVIS: Yep, just swinging wide. On Beau’s side.
+
+MATT: All right. As you guys rush around, Yasha,
+what are you doing?
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah, I’m swinging wide. Go around.
+
+MATT: Okay, you guys swing wide around. At this
+point, you see the figures, five of them, all pop
+
+up, two of them in the field off to the side that
+you weren’t paying attention, dart up, and the
+
+three from behind go ahead and the three are going
+to take shots at Nott as well in the center.
+
+That’s 21. That’s an 18. And 17. So that’s six
+points of piercing damage, six points of piercing
+
+damage, and seven points of piercing damage.
+Nott’s just being pummeled by bolts, and as Fjord
+
+and Molly start rushing up, a fifth one off to the
+side goes ahead and makes a shot towards Molly.
+
+That’s going to be a 19 to hit.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that hits.
+
+MATT: You take seven points of piercing damage,
+and the other one goes and aims towards Molly and
+
+goes, “Wait. Oh God! Stop, stop, stop! Stop your
+fighting!” You see the other dark figures look.
+
+Their heads swing over in that direction. What are
+you guys doing?
+
+MARISHA: Taking out the closest guy that’s to me.
+
+MATT: Okay, the one that’s closest to you is the
+one that shot Molly. He popped out of the grass as
+
+you were pulling around the side.
+
+MARISHA: The one who’s yelling?
+
+MATT: No, the other one. The one that’s shouting
+is on the opposite end.
+
+LIAM: They’re really spread out? How spread out?
+
+MATT: I’d say if you’re looking at where the cart
+is, there’s two on the sides here that were in the
+
+grass, and there’s three that are directly behind
+the cart.
+
+LIAM: Roughly how far apart are those two?
+
+MATT: They’re about 60 feet apart.
+
+LIAM: Okay, I’m going to hold Slow for one side of
+the group if I decide they’re a threat, if they
+
+sound like a threat.
+
+MATT: Well, you have to release it next round or
+the spell’s lost.
+
+LIAM: Yeah, that’s fine.
+
+MATT: Okay. You prepare, you’re readying Slow.
+
+TRAVIS: Do we see any visual of the face of
+whoever is yelling that?
+
+MATT: There’s very little light except for a
+little bit of light that’s coming from the sky.
+
+The globes are like a lantern light, but it’s the
+middle of the night, so you can see the shapes.
+
+They’re not able to hide at the moment, but you
+don’t see any features or details as you’re
+
+rushing up. Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Do they see that Chent is now doing the
+Sprinkler?
+
+MATT: They are aware.
+
+TRAVIS: 14.
+
+MATT: You do notice that all of them have thick
+green cloth masks that cover the front of their
+
+faces, bandit-style, that cover most of the
+features.
+
+MARISHA: I’m cracking the one on the head.
+
+MATT: Go for it. As you rush up, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Does he see me? I’m trying to do this
+stealthily.
+
+MATT: He just finished firing.
+
+MARISHA: Okay, while his attention is diverted,
+I’m going to come up behind and try and do a
+
+crack. Go to sleep, go to sleep.
+
+MATT: Okay, go for it.
+
+MARISHA: Do I have advantage on this or anything?
+
+MATT: The first attack you do, because he turns
+and sees you at the last minute as you approach.
+
+MARISHA: 16.
+
+MATT: 16 hits.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. That’s 12 damage, and I’m going to
+do stunning blow.
+
+MATT: All right. Stunning Strike?
+
+MARISHA: Stunning Strike. Is that a ki thing?
+
+MATT: Yeah, it spends a ki to do it. Yeah, he does
+not succeed. He rolled a natural eight. He’s
+
+(groaning) kidney punch right to the side.
+
+MARISHA: I’m going to cover his mouth and lay him
+down in the grass, and do another blow to his
+
+temple to try and knock him out.
+
+SAM: And kill him.
+
+MARISHA: Nope, just knock him unconscious. Do I
+roll?
+
+MATT: Roll with advantage, because he’s stunned
+currently.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20! Thanks, Gil.
+
+MATT: You (whack) and his eyes roll back.
+
+MARISHA: (shushing) Lay him down in the grass.
+
+TRAVIS: Quickly, declare yourselves.
+
+TALIESIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
+
+MATT: The one guy stands up– the guy who yelled
+out– and goes, “We are so sorry! We are so sorry!
+
+"We didn’t know it was you folks! Our most sincere
+apologies.” The other guy is like, “What the fuck
+
+"are you talking about?” He’s like, “You don’t
+understand. These are the ones that–”
+
+TALIESIN: How’s new management working out?
+
+MATT: “These are the ones that ashed Trevor!” The
+guys put up their hands. “Oh shit. We’re so
+
+"sorry!” They drop their crossbows.
+
+LIAM: Caleb lets Slow fizzle.
+
+MATT: “We didn’t mean nothing. We’re so sorry.”
+
+SAM: I’m going to fire one crossbow bolt at that
+guy.
+
+MATT: Go for it.
+
+SAM: Oh, it’s only a 13.
+
+MATT: It’s leather armor. It hits. They’re not
+very strong.
+
+SAM: Eight points of damage.
+
+MATT: He goes, “Oh! Come on!”
+
+SAM: It doesn’t feel good, does it?
+
+TALIESIN: Now, now. Is that apology accepted at
+this point?
+
+LAURA: Do you guys have healing potions, because
+you just sent a lot of arrows at Nott. I mean at
+
+this– I mean–
+
+TRAVIS: You said her name. It’s all right.
+
+MATT: “We don’t have much. We’re so sorry.
+Seriously, this is a huge misunderstanding.”
+
+TALIESIN: I’m going to put this out here, that we
+just received an apology. This sort of behavior
+
+should be rewarded.
+
+LAURA: You know the drill.
+
+MATT: “Thank you. Thank you!”
+
+LAURA: Take off your pants and walk away.
+
+MATT: Make a persuasion check.
+
+LIAM: Also leave one gift for us before you go.
+Because you’re living.
+
+LAURA: I rolled a one. No pants for me.
+
+MATT: Aw. No.
+
+TALIESIN: We appreciate the courtesy.
+
+MATT: He pulls the mask down. “Take the cart. Take
+it. That’s yours. We’ll just–” The other one’s
+
+like, “What the fuck are you doing, mate?” He’s
+like, “Trust me!”
+
+LIAM: Ja, we have a cart. We’re good. Is there
+anything in the cart that is more interesting?
+
+MATT: “Whatever’s in it, it’s all yours.”
+
+LIAM: Back away from that cart, please.
+
+MATT: “Right, that we do. Guys, gentlemen, back
+away.”
+
+TALIESIN: It’s rough out here; they should take
+their crossbows.
+
+LIAM: I am not taking their clothes, but I am
+interested to see what they are carrying.
+
+TALIESIN: That is very fair, let’s take a look.
+
+TRAVIS: Is that your cart, or did it belong to
+someone before you?
+
+MATT: “It belonged to someone. They’re alive. We
+didn’t kill them, but we took their stuff and we
+
+"sent them on their way.”
+
+LIAM: Are you bullshitting us?
+
+MATT: “No!”
+
+LIAM: Are you bullshitting me now?
+
+MATT: “No!”
+
+LIAM: I’m looking in his cart.
+
+MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.
+
+MARISHA: As I’m laying in the grass with the guy
+who I knocked unconscious, I’m going to pat down
+
+his body.
+
+MATT: Make an investigation check.
+
+LIAM: That’s a 15.
+
+MARISHA: Natural 20 again! That’s two 20s in a
+row! Counter Wil Wheaton!
+
+MATT: First off, glancing inside and looking
+through and rummaging and pulling, most of the
+
+cart stuff is gone. It has some simple grain bags
+and things that were placed deliberately to look
+
+like it had a lot, and they shoved all of it
+towards the exits of the two sides of the cover,
+
+but the interior of it is mostly empty. You see
+two blankets. That’s about it.
+
+LIAM: How’s this working out for you?
+
+MATT: “Obviously not very well right now.”
+
+LIAM: Are you better or worse than when you
+started?
+
+MATT: “Look, this is embarrassing enough as it is.
+It’s hard enough to make ends meet. We’re doing
+
+"what we need to to survive. We’re happy to give
+you this. We’ll walk away, and pretend this never
+
+"happened.”
+
+TALIESIN: I feel bad, I’ve got to admit. No, I
+have to deal with this. I’m going to walk to my
+
+cart. I’m going to pull out that armor that I got
+at the orc’s place. I’m handing it to the kid.
+
+MATT: “What? I don’t understand.”
+
+TALIESIN: You’re going to get shot at again. It’s
+breaking my heart.
+
+TRAVIS: You really can’t find a safer line of
+work?
+
+LIAM: Yeah, head to the cities. Work on a dock.
+Learn from your mistakes. What the fuck are you doing?
+
+TRAVIS: What are you doing with your lives?
+
+MATT: He grabs the armor and tucks it in. “Thank
+you.”
+
+TALIESIN: Thank you for recognizing and for being
+gracious about our previous deal. I appreciate
+
+someone who stands up and holds to their word.
+That’s really nice, and that should be rewarded in
+
+this world.
+
+LIAM: Three strikes and you’re out. This is two.
+
+MATT: “Right, no. Yeah.”
+
+LAURA: They said they wouldn’t be bandits anymore,
+but they are bandits.
+
+TALIESIN: Well, I wasn’t really holding them to
+that one.
+
+LIAM: That’s fine. The next time, we are going to
+turn you into grease puddles, so maybe find
+
+yourselves a job in a store, or a dock, or a
+restaurant, even.
+
+LAURA: Yeah, don’t go working for criminals!
+That’s stupid!
+
+LIAM: At least be good at it if you’re going to do
+that.
+
+TRAVIS: I think they’re freelance, Jester. They
+work for themselves.
+
+LAURA: Oh. Then if you’re going to do bad things,
+at least work for somebody who’s rich and doing
+
+bad things! Don’t just steal from people on the
+road, that’s stupid!
+
+MATT: Two of the guys go like, “Yeah, no, she’s
+got a point.” “I know!”
+
+LIAM: I walk up to this guy, and I take the stone
+out of my pocket and I place it against his
+
+forehead, and I mutter a few words under my
+breath. And now I know where you are at all times,
+
+and I will know if you are still doing this kind
+of work, and I will come and I will kill you.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check with advantage.
+
+LIAM: Natural 20.
+
+MARISHA: Over here is our safe haven from that.
+
+MATT: He’s nodding. You can see the sweat on his
+brow, and you can’t help but notice the darkening
+
+spot in his nether regions. “Of course, no
+worries, sir, I promise, no worries. We’ll go and
+
+"we’ll slop pigs. We’ll do what it takes, anything
+but this. Right, boys?” They’re like, “The fuck?
+
+"You pissed yourself.”
+
+TALIESIN: Respect management.
+
+MATT: “Yeah.” They pick up their crossbows and
+tuck them under their arms. “Good night. Safe travels.”
+
+LAURA: Only steal from grumpy people!
+
+TALIESIN: So true.
+
+MATT: “Good night.” The guy next to you, as you’re
+patting him down, two things. One, you manage to
+
+get about seven silver from him. That’s all the
+money he has on him at the moment.
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Hey, big spender!
+
+MATT: You find a hard spot on the side of his
+stomach that he should probably get checked out.
+
+TALIESIN: Oh god, why?
+
+MATT: Because he doesn’t have anything else, but
+she rolled a 20 investigation check! I didn’t know
+
+what else!
+
+LIAM: Oh my god!
+
+LAURA: You’re going to steal his money and he’s
+got medical problems.
+
+LIAM: No, he’s a warlock.
+
+MARISHA: As they all leave, Beau peeks her head
+out of the grass and goes: I knocked one
+
+unconscious, and I don’t know what to do with him
+now. I could’ve let him go, but I didn’t want to
+
+say anything in front of everybody because I
+started feeling bad once you guys felt bad.
+
+LAURA: Do I have to heal him now?
+
+TRAVIS: You’re probably doing him a favor, all
+right? He’ll wake up in the morning. No one will
+
+be here. He’ll start his life, it’ll be a new
+chapter. It’ll be fine.
+
+LIAM: No, they’re going to leave him. We’ve got
+one more of your– This one, take him!
+
+MATT: At this point, there’s a sound behind you, a
+(huffing). You see Kiri running with her knife,
+
+going, (like Cali) “I kill people!”
+
+LAURA: Don’t kill this corpse! Don’t stab this
+corpse!
+
+TALIESIN: It’s not technically a corpse yet.
+
+LAURA: I know, but she’ll think it is.
+
+SAM: Maybe they can take Kiri.
+
+LAURA: No way!
+
+SAM: I don’t know, we need to get rid of Kiri!
+
+LAURA: That’s so terrible!
+
+TRAVIS: Give her a life of adventure and imminent
+death.
+
+MARISHA: I take this guy’s green mask, and his
+pants, and I give his pants to Jester.
+
+MATT: There you go. Write that down in your
+equipment.
+
+LAURA: I got pants!
+
+MATT: Bandit pants!
+
+LAURA: I’m going to add it because I think I
+already have some bandit pants.
+
+MATT: There you go. He starts to come to
+consciousness.
+
+MARISHA: Oh no! (thud) Oh, fuck! Sorry, it was a
+reflex!
+
+TRAVIS: Lay him in the grass.
+
+MATT: His friends have all run off northward.
+
+MARISHA: Your friend is– They’re bad friends.
+
+TRAVIS: He gets a fresh start in the morning.
+It’ll be fine.
+
+TALIESIN: He’ll only find better people.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. I try to lay him down gently.
+
+MATT: He’s drooling down himself.
+
+MARISHA: I turn him on his side.
+
+TRAVIS: Does he have any coin on him at all?
+
+MARISHA: I already took seven silver. These guys
+sucked.
+
+TRAVIS: Here, I put two gold in his pocket.
+
+LIAM: Judging by the map, how far are we from any
+town?
+
+MATT: You guys are about here.
+
+LIAM: Oh, this guy’s going to die.
+
+MATT: Yeah, you’re about 24 miles away from the
+crossroads.
+
+LIAM: How far away are his friends?
+
+MATT: You don’t see them at the moment.
+
+LAURA: He knows where their hideout is, he’s
+fine.
+
+LIAM: I’m going to pull my wire out, and Message
+the one who I intimidated and say: you left one
+
+behind, he’s here.
+
+MATT: What’s the range on that?
+
+LIAM: It’s 120 feet, I think. I’m going to check
+it out. It’s 5,000 feet.
+
+LAURA: He’ll be fine, he’s a bandit.
+
+LIAM: I just talked into a wire, you don’t know.
+It’s fine.
+
+TALIESIN: That went well.
+
+MARISHA: Hey, Jester. What if we take him and we
+pose him, and we put a drawing around him just in
+
+case anybody else finds him, and maybe they think
+there’s something wrong with this guy? A sign? I
+
+don’t know.
+
+LIAM: The good news is, we’re in the middle of the
+wilderness and no one is going to find him.
+
+MARISHA: I was trying to be jovial, I’m sorry. I
+shouldn’t have tried that.
+
+LAURA: What if we put some flowers in his hair, so
+when he wakes up, he looks really pretty?
+
+MARISHA: That’s good. Let’s do that.
+
+TALIESIN: There’s nothing better than waking up in
+the morning with no pants and flowers in your hair.
+
+LIAM: I have a dagger, and I’m going to shove it
+in his belt so he’s not totally alone. He’s
+
+pantsless, but with a dagger, correct?
+
+MATT: Pantsless with a crossbow, and a simple
+shortsword that’s tucked off to his side.
+
+LIAM: Oh, I didn’t see that. I take my dagger
+back. He’s fine, he’s got a blade.
+
+MATT: His hair is filled with flowers, he’s on his
+side, flopping away from the sky. The cart’s there
+
+if there’s anything you need to grab from it.
+
+TALIESIN: I add a drop of lavender oil and I think
+we’re done.
+
+MATT: There you go.
+
+SAM: Was there anything in the cart? No, right?
+
+LAURA: There’s blankets. We can take the
+blankets.
+
+MATT: There’s a couple blankets, there’s grain,
+and it has a cover on it.
+
+TALIESIN: And this is why you buy the lavender
+oil.
+
+LAURA: Molly, they have a covered wagon!
+
+TALIESIN: So we can remove it and attach it to
+ours?
+
+LAURA: Or we can take theirs and leave ours.
+
+TALIESIN: Is theirs better than ours?
+
+MATT: The cart is comparable, probably a little
+more weathered than the one you guys have.
+
+LIAM: This is so dumb. What color is it?
+
+MATT: It’s a basic canvas. It’s a tan.
+
+LIAM: It is Oregon Trail.
+
+TALIESIN: It’s all about the dysentery.
+
+MATT: It’s a tan, light brown.
+
+MARISHA: It’s a Florida convertible.
+
+MATT: Yeah.
+
+TALIESIN: The Volvo of wagons.
+
+MATT: Essentially. Ironic that you went looking to
+build that and it was already in the possible
+
+path. All right. So you guys pull that off.
+
+ASHLEY: Take the blankets.
+
+MATT: Take the blankets. Make your way back to
+your cart. Finish up your evening’s rest, and at
+
+morning light, continue your way northward along
+the road. All righty.
+
+TALIESIN: (clopping sounds)
+
+TRAVIS: That’s some tiny-ass hooves.
+
+MATT: For the sake of brevity, since we’re getting
+towards the end of the evening–
+
+LAURA: We should take the grain for our horses.
+
+SAM: Horses eat grass.
+
+LIAM: Let’s count the grains.
+
+TRAVIS: Oh my god! Let’s travel north, for fuck’s
+sake!
+
+MATT: The next two days go on without issue.
+Passing a few travelers heading southward,
+
+crossing your way, until eventually, the
+Silberquel Ridge grows more and more prominent in
+
+your line of sight. Following the path, the fields
+that surround the north road begin to give way to
+
+tall grass and trade for scrub land and rocks, the
+once-vanishing shape of the Silberquel Ridge
+
+mountains growing bigger and bigger, the numerous
+columns of mingling black-and-white smoke you can
+
+now see spill from the eastern side of the
+mountain, diffusing as they rise. As you travel
+
+even closer, you can make out the two-tiered
+layout of a city built into the mountain. One
+
+large region encircles the very base of the
+mountain, ahundred or more dark workshops and
+
+towers, billowing smoke from chimneys and stacks
+visible. A number of large constructions dot the
+
+open spaces between these towers, some oversized
+cannons or others like mobile siege towers. One
+
+resembles a wheeled, multi-tiered cart with
+numerous, wicked-looking bolt-throwers attached.
+
+As you begin to head in this direction, you can
+also see that this lower area, this industrial
+
+field of various engines of warfare that are in
+the process of being constructed, some in their
+
+skeletal phase of being built. To the base of the
+mountain above that, you can see two winding
+
+switchback roads as well as one very steep
+staircase that ascends to a second level, about a
+
+hundred or more feet above the first. Here you see
+a massive outcropping of leveled rock that holds
+
+the other half of the city. There along the ridge
+of the mountain shelf lies hundreds of buildings
+
+and arches, occasionally dappled with an
+autumn-colored tree. Behind this city mass, you
+
+see a shimmering waterfall that cascades from out
+of the center of the mountain, about 1000 feet up,
+
+that glimmers like silver-white light and the
+little bit of sun that’s coming through the
+
+clouds. You’ve reached the outskirts of
+Hupperdook.
+
+LAURA: This is not how I pictured it.
+
+TALIESIN: I like it.
+
+MARISHA: I told you it’s a city of industry.
+
+TALIESIN: I like a good waterfall.
+
+SAM: Where are the EDM gnomes?
+
+MARISHA: Well, that happens at nightfall.
+
+LAURA: Is it mostly gnomes that live in the city?
+
+MARISHA: I think mostly gnomes, but I’m pretty
+sure there are other people. I don’t know. I’ve
+
+never been here. I’ve only heard stories.
+
+LAURA: Does it look like the buildings are teeny?
+
+MATT: From best you can tell from this
+perspective, make a perception check.
+
+LAURA: 13.
+
+MATT: It’s hard to tell. The buildings that are in
+the outside of the upper ridge look to be varying
+
+sizes. They don’t appear to be super tiny, by any
+means. You do see from this perspective, as you’re
+
+heading down to the base of the mountain, you’re
+at the top of the hill, and this last leg as you
+
+start pushing in towards Hupperdook, at the base
+of where the waterfall is hitting, behind that
+
+row, you can see what look to be numerous towers,
+thin and tall, like these weird needles of
+
+buildings that kind of cluster around the base of
+the waterfall. That’s as much as you can make out
+
+at this distance.
+
+LIAM: On a scale of one to ten, one being like a
+shit-ass swamp town and ten being like Rexxentrum,
+
+what does the civilization of this city look
+like?
+
+MATT: The technology, as you get closer and closer
+and begin seeing these fields of construction, the
+
+industry is pretty prominent. It’s the most you’ve
+ever seen. As far as the beauty of a living,
+
+civilized town, five or six, maybe?
+
+LIAM: But not podunk?
+
+MATT: It’s not podunk, by any means.
+
+LIAM: It’s builded?
+
+MATT: Yeah. It’s well-built. It seems
+comfortable.
+
+The base area around the mountain as you
+begin to approach– and you can see now where the
+
+clouds and bits of steam are mingling and rising
+up, mixing into the sky above you– the colors here
+
+are fairly drab: browns, grays, dark graphite
+metals. And immediately, you can see the ground
+
+itself.
+
+SAM: (coughs) That’s good water.
+
+MATT: You can see the ground itself as you step in
+the area has a faint layer of soot where some of
+
+the burned materials that are pressed up into the
+air have come down to settle onto the ground
+
+surrounding it. What do you wish to do?
+
+MARISHA: What time of day is it?
+
+MATT: It’s mid-afternoon.
+
+LAURA: (quietly) We should be going to the city.
+
+MARISHA: (quietly) I think so.
+
+LAURA: I guess we’ll ride into the city.
+
+TALIESIN: I’d like sleep somewhere comfortable.
+
+MATT: Following the path, there is a large
+metallic archway that rises into a pointed
+
+entrance where, as you enter, you can see, in the
+metal carved in various rivets, “HUPPER,” “DOOK”
+
+on the other side. There, you see two townsguards
+standing there, both human, standing guard. And as
+
+you approach, one of them steps forward. “Welcome.
+What is your business?”
+
+TRAVIS: Looking for lodging for the evening. We’ve
+been on the road for some time.
+
+MATT: “Understood. You would probably want to go
+ahead and head up the mountain for that. Down here
+
+"is all industry.”
+
+TRAVIS: All industry? Where would we be looking
+for further up the mountain?
+
+MATT: He points out, “This is the Iron Lot and the
+Assembly Yard. You’re going to want to head up to
+
+"the Idleworks Shelf to find lodging.”
+
+TALIESIN: Idleworks Shelf.
+
+MATT: “Idleworks Shelf, yes.”
+
+TRAVIS: Any recommendations? Favorite spots?
+
+MATT: “The most prominent and most lively would
+probably be the Blushing Tankard tavern.”
+
+MARISHA: I do like alliteracy.
+
+LAURA: Blushing Tankard tavern.
+
+TRAVIS: I-i-illiteracy?
+
+MARISHA: Alliteracy.
+
+LAURA: Alliteration.
+
+LIAM: Illiteracy.
+
+TRAVIS: Not often you find people a fan of
+illiteracy, but–
+
+MARISHA: I like unlearnt folks.
+
+TRAVIS: Well, we appreciate it. We’ll head on up.
+
+MATT: He steps back to his post, and just keeps an
+eye as you guys enter in the midsection. At this
+
+point, you begin to hear the actual industry here.
+There’s this faint buzzing and clicking sound as
+
+you see some of these large wheels that are
+affixed to the outside of these large towers are
+
+grinding. You can see platforms rising up with the
+gears turning. And on them, you can see numerous
+
+gnomes, male and female, in the process of what
+looks to be building materials lifted onto higher
+
+levels. You could see some of these war machines
+that are being developed and designed here,
+
+mid-construction. You get the sense that with the
+call of war, they’re probably put into high gear
+
+in developing whatever siege weapons they can
+possibly muster in the short time frame. And the
+
+furnaces are going well.
+
+MARISHA: And when you say “war machines,” how do
+you mean?
+
+MATT: From what you can see, from the distance,
+you can see they have some larger-wheeled
+
+platforms that have bolt-throwers, which are
+large– imagine a crossbow but on a massive
+
+scale. The giant metallic spear that gets flung
+from it at a really, really powerful speed. You
+
+see three or four affixed to a single platform.
+You’re not sure what animal would be able to pull
+
+that. You also see siege towers, 30 feet tall,
+wheeled, with a number of ladders and platforms
+
+inside that are used to clamor up against
+fortresses. You see one that looks almost like a
+
+giant battering ram that is in the process of
+being constructed. The interior metal rod is
+
+currently resting on the ground next to it and
+they’re building an outer frame. Looking past, on
+
+the far end– on the northern end, you can see a
+huge cannon, maybe about 15 feet across and about
+
+three to four feet wide in the middle. That one is
+on a platform. The wheels are currently resting in
+
+the side and they’re in the process of finishing
+the construction of the device. Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+MARISHA: 14.
+
+MATT: Okay. Just beyond that, on the northern
+side, as you guys are riding past, and you kind of
+
+get as much height as you can, beyond these towers
+and what was referred to earlier as the Assembly
+
+Yard, which is the area where all these war
+machines are being built, you can see a roped
+
+section that is just pock-marked craters and
+scarred ground, what you assume to be some sort of
+
+a testing ground for whatever they’ve been working
+on over the numerous decades or more they’ve been
+
+here. You’re not sure– actually, roll a history
+check, because I’m curious to see how much you
+
+know about this.
+
+MARISHA: (sing-songy) Don’t fuck me, Gil.
+
+SAM: Yes!
+
+LIAM: He did it.
+
+MARISHA: Fucked me pretty hard. That’s three. Can
+I use my mystical erudition to get an advantage
+
+on history checks?
+
+MATT: I’ll allow it this time, but usually, you
+have to decide that before you make the roll. It’s
+
+not a lucky feat, so.
+
+MARISHA: Deciding it now.
+
+MATT: But going forward–
+
+MARISHA and LIAM: Not much better.
+
+MARISHA: At all. Nine.
+
+MATT: Okay. You haven’t learned that much about
+the history of Hupperdook. You know it’s been here
+
+for a while.
+
+MARISHA: This scarred pot-marked line?
+
+MATT: This city. It’s been here for quite some
+time, so while you’re not sure of how long that
+
+field has been there, you get the sense that this
+isn’t a recent testing ground. It probably has
+
+been their general testing ground for any
+technology they’re developing.
+
+MARISHA: Okay. So it’s not new. Okay.
+
+MATT: Glancing about, you see more crownsguard
+attire, though now you’re starting to get to more
+
+gnomish crownsguard who are established there. And
+on their backs, as opposed to spears or shields at
+
+the ready, you see similar weapons to what some of
+the army moving eastward were carrying. You see
+
+long metal rods affixed with a wooden buttress at
+the end. These strange firearms that have been
+
+carefully relegated to certain individuals here
+are a little more in use here.
+
+SAM: Are there any platform shoes, glowsticks, or
+pacifiers?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+SAM: All right. 13.
+
+MATT: Not yet.
+
+ASHLEY: Are there any flowers that are even
+visible at this area?
+
+MATT: Make a perception check.
+
+TALIESIN: Pink hearts, yellow moons.
+
+ASHLEY: Perception check?
+
+MATT: Purple horseshoes–
+
+TALIESIN: Blue diamonds?
+
+MATT: Red balloons.
+
+ASHLEY: 18.
+
+MATT: As you guys are clopping along, you look
+down and most of the land here is fairly barren.
+
+The outskirts of this, whether it be just the
+heavy amount of smoke and soot that’s put out by
+
+the industry, there isn’t a lot of grass. What is
+here is pretty harsh scrubland. You glance down,
+
+though, and one of the small bushes does have a
+very unique-looking white bud. They haven’t opened
+
+yet, but they’re beautiful amongst this stark
+ground. And you could reach down, if you wanted to.
+
+ASHLEY: I reach down and I take it and put it in
+my book.
+
+MATT: You grab, pluck a couple of them and put
+them in your book. Okay.
+
+TALIESIN: There’ll probably be something siding
+closer to the waterfall, maybe.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. I’ll get more.
+
+TRAVIS: Are the guards still within earshot?
+
+MATT: The ones you talked to earlier? No. You
+moved on from them, but there are other
+
+crownsguard in the area. You can hear the heavy
+sounds of metal clanging and the occasional sparks
+
+in the distance of some sort of welding process being
+done on some of the distant towers. You can see,
+
+on the opposite side of the southern side, dozens
+and dozens of dark metallic warehouses and
+
+buildings that are junctured by hallways. There
+are small compounds that are focused on whatever
+
+their specific businesses are in these designated,
+delegated areas. It’s weirdly almost drab and
+
+dystopian in a visual perspective. When you come
+to the base of the mountain here, where you see
+
+that large, very steep staircase you were looking
+at, there are the switchback pathways up there.
+
+But as you approach, you hear this (thud). And
+looking up, you can see these chains, these big,
+
+heavy, dark chains that are shifting. And as it
+does, you can see this platform begin to lower
+
+from the city above, heading in your direction. In
+front of you, at the base of the mountain, you can
+
+see there are a few other individuals that are
+sitting there, waiting patiently. You can see this
+
+platform eventually comes down, seems to be one of
+many means to make your way to the second part of
+
+the city.
+
+SAM: Will our whole cart fit on it?
+
+MATT: It’s a lift.
+
+LAURA: Hold the elevator.
+
+TALIESIN: Does that seems safe to you?
+
+SAM: Do we have to pay for it?
+
+LAURA: It will be fun.
+
+MATT: All right. As you approach, you see there
+are four crownsguard, one dwarven, three gnomish,
+
+that are there waiting it. You see the few figures
+that were waiting patiently. They appear to be
+
+well-dressed, human, one half-elf, wearing what
+looks to be reds and gold velvets. They look
+
+to be relatively well-off, standing definitely out
+of place in this rather dark space. They step onto
+
+the lift, and as you approach, the guards put
+their hands out. “I’m sorry, who are you?”
+
+LAURA: We are guests here.
+
+TALIESIN: Looking for lodgings for the night.
+
+MATT: “Lodgings? Well, you’ll have to take the
+path upward. This is designated for guests of
+
+"Hupperdook.”
+
+LAURA: That’s what we are. We’re guests of
+Hupperdook.
+
+MATT: “Guests of whom?”
+
+LAURA: Hupperdook.
+
+TRAVIS: Guests of Ophelia Mardun.
+
+LAURA: Yes. That one.
+
+MATT: Make a deception check.
+
+TRAVIS: 16.
+
+MATT: “I’m sorry, I don’t recognize the name.
+You’ll have to take the path.”
+
+TRAVIS: That’s not our fault. She’s very
+important. I would hate to keep us out of her good
+
+graces. I feel like the pull she has in this city
+should be more than enough to allow us to use the lift.
+
+MATT: “I guarantee you, sir, I’ve never heard the
+name before in my life. But there is always the path.”
+
+TRAVIS: Well, you’ll know her name after today. I
+guarantee you that. I hope you enjoy this post.
+
+For the rest of your evening.
+
+MATT: “Of course.” He takes a small pistol out
+from his side and aims it in the air and it fires
+
+with a puff of smoke, and the chains begin to
+lift.
+
+LAURA: Oh, man. Come on, I really want to be on
+it! Come on, man. Let us get on, man.
+
+TALIESIN: I don’t need that ride.
+
+SAM: What the hell was that thing he shot in the
+sky?
+
+LAURA: It was a firecracker, that’s all.
+
+MATT: As you guys are frustratingly fuming over
+that not-quite-as-positive experience, a voice
+
+from around behind you goes, “Well, now. You look
+like you’re not from around here. Is that true?”
+
+You turn and glance behind you and you can see,
+through a surly grin and a curly mop of
+
+brownish-red hair, a female gnome in her young
+adult years wearing simple clothes, some leather
+
+gloves. She has dangling around her neck a set of
+eye protectors. She’s rubbing a little bit of soot
+
+from her chin. “So. You couldn’t take the lift.”
+
+LAURA: Well, we could have, if this guy, he would
+have listened to us, because we are really
+
+important people.
+
+MATT: “Are you?”
+
+TRAVIS: No, we’re not.
+
+MATT: “See, that’s going to get you far here.
+Honesty.”
+
+MARISHA: Self-deprecation? Oh, honesty.
+
+MATT: “Well, probably both, depending on the time
+of day. So, who are you, if I might ask?”
+
+LAURA: We’re the Mighty Nein.
+
+TALIESIN: Travelers passing through to somewhere
+else.
+
+MATT: “So you’re not from around here? I like
+that. What brings you to Hupperdook?”
+
+LAURA: We thought the name was funny.
+
+SAM: That is accurate.
+
+MATT: Her brow furrows and a smile curls even
+wider across her face. “You’re not wrong. You’re
+
+"not wrong. Well, I happen to be a local looking
+for a way to kick off some boredom. Mind me
+
+"showing you around?”
+
+TRAVIS: I don’t know. What’s your name?
+
+MATT: “My name? Rissa. Pleasure to meet you,
+Mr.–?”
+
+TRAVIS: Fjord.
+
+MATT: “Fjord. Mayhaps we be getting in some
+trouble, too.”
+
+MARISHA: I hear you people like to get in trouble
+here at Hupperdook.
+
+LIAM: Especially at night.
+
+MATT: “We got about two hours.”
+
+MARISHA: That’s like 4:00. Wow. Amazing.
+
+MATT: Well, at this time, it’ll probably be about
+dusk.
+
+MARISHA: That’s like 8:00. Crazy.
+
+TALIESIN: We need to find a place to store our
+stuff and hopefully find an inn for the night, first.
+
+MATT: “There’s a few inns to pick from. I can take
+you around. Here, I’ll lead you up the walkway.
+
+"Follow me.”
+
+SAM: She’s nice. Why? Let’s kill her.
+
+MARISHA: Do we have this tourism look to us?
+
+SAM: For sure we do.
+
+LAURA: We might as well be wearing fanny packs.
+All of us.
+
+MARISHA: We should get some fanny packs.
+
+LAURA: Like an amazing fanny haversack?
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god. You don’t know what’s in
+there. Keep pulling stuff out.
+
+MATT: You guys begin to make your way up the
+switchback path, up the mountainside towards the
+
+upper edge of the shelf. Along that way, your new
+friend, Rissa, jumps up into the cart with you.
+
+She says, “I get the sense you don’t know much
+about us here.”
+
+MARISHA: How much?
+
+MATT: “Oh, no charge. Or buy me a round, or five,
+and we’ll call it even.”
+
+MARISHA: What do you want?
+
+LAURA: I’m going to keep an eye on her, because I
+think she’s going to try to steal some of our stuff.
+
+MATT: Okay. “That’s all I ask. Maybe help me fuck
+with a friend or two.”
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+TRAVIS: Just say yes.
+
+SAM: She’s just like us.
+
+TRAVIS: We’re visitors here.
+
+MARISHA: She just asked to fuck with a friend.
+Yes?
+
+LAURA: Beau, you make really bad first
+impressions, too. She’s basically you.
+
+MARISHA: That’s true.
+
+MATT: She looks to Beau and is like, “Yeah.”
+
+MARISHA: I nod back. Hmm, yeah.
+
+MATT: “Anyway, don’t worry. I know the place is a
+bit droll, but once the sun’s down, it gets
+
+"interesting.”
+
+LIAM: During all of that yammering on the way up,
+I look over at Yasha and sigh out.
+
+ASHLEY: Yeah. A little crazy?
+
+LIAM: That’s it.
+
+LAURA: Are you saying you are crazy? I mean, you
+did that in front of everybody. Are we having an
+
+agreement?
+
+LIAM: (whispering) I am crazy.
+
+LAURA: Oh. I can see that about you.
+
+MATT: “Anyway, things are a bit busy around here.
+They’re busy most of the time. General workday
+
+"here is about ten to 12 hours. No weekends, no
+breaks like the rest of you lazy and lackadaisical folk.”
+
+TALIESIN: Private contractors.
+
+MATT: “Fair enough. Give you a quick tour of the
+place, should give us right about time to get some drinks.”
+
+TALIESIN: Drinks is a great idea.
+
+MATT: As you make your way up the mountain, making
+small chatter, eventually you come to the
+
+outskirts of the Idleworks Shelf. Here,
+encompassing the outer ring of this elevated shelf
+
+of the Silberquel Ridge, is a lively district of
+taverns, inns, merchants, open pavilions that are
+
+currently empty. It looks like the place is pretty
+much perpetually decorated for some sort of an
+
+event or a festival, but it’s in disuse at the
+moment. It is empty. Everyone you see in the
+
+street, there’s nobody taking a walk. Everyone is
+rushing from one place to another or shouting
+
+commands. There’s a general air of busyness and
+intent in each person you see. As you guys
+
+leisurely stroll through, every now and then you
+get this side-eye of– and they continue on past.
+
+A majority of the people here are gnomish.
+Probably 80 percent of the people you see in the
+
+immediate vicinity at any point in time are of
+gnomish heritage, only offset by the occasional
+
+dwarf and some human, half-elf. That’s as much as
+you’ve seen in your path here so far.
+
+LIAM: Do we, as a much taller United Colors of
+Benetton pack, draw a lot of attention as we walk through?
+
+MATT: I mean, you do as you do. You are a very
+colorful ensemble whenever you enter any sort of
+
+new establishment.
+
+TALIESIN: Have we seen another tiefling since
+hitting the city?
+
+MATT: Not yet, no, but to be fair, most of the
+streets are empty unless it’s people going from
+
+business to business. It’s an interesting feel.
+It’s almost like the town is a ghost town, where
+
+it’s dead outside of those that are in the process
+of making errands or doing runs.
+
+LAURA: Is it sooty up here too?
+
+MATT: A little bit, but not as bad as below. At
+this point, your friend, Rissa, is pointing out in
+
+different directions and goes, “All right, then
+that’s over that way. This is the center of
+
+"Hupperdook culture here on the Shelf, where most
+of the folks come to unwind. Beyond that you can
+
+"see what’s called the Silver Falls, pointing over
+there. That’s the core of where most of the
+
+"residents live, sleep, make their families,
+amongst the small towers you can see.” And from
+
+this point you can now see those strange,
+finger-like protrusions that were guarded around
+
+the waterfall are very condensed, thin, and tall
+metallic towers that have balconies and little
+
+windows.
+
+MARISHA: Oh my god, it’s a condo. It’s a condo
+complex.
+
+MATT: They’re three stories, maybe four stories at
+most. A lot of them look like they’re off-kilter.
+
+It looks not safe, though they probably are. It’s
+a very unique living situation you haven’t
+
+encountered with any other people in the Empire
+and beyond. Glancing up, you can see there
+
+are a few folks that are out there in the process
+of laying some rugs out and hanging them over the
+
+side. One woman up there is throwing some seeds to
+some birds that float by and start eating off the
+
+edge there.
+
+LIAM: Rissa, you mentioned culture. Are there any
+libraries here in Hupperdook?
+
+MATT: “I’m sure there is. Not anything I’ve
+bothered with, though. Not much of a reader. My
+
+"father, well, he might know, but you don’t want to
+talk to him.”
+
+MARISHA: Where do the best parties happen?
+
+MATT: “Just wait. Be patient. Be patient.”
+
+LAURA: Do you live on a high floor or a low
+floor?
+
+MATT: “I choose to live on a low floor.”
+
+LAURA: Less stairs.
+
+MATT: “Yeah. Gets warmer up top, anyway. Don’t
+want that.”
+
+LIAM: The walk-ups are tough.
+
+MATT: “You’re telling me. Want my quads to be
+ready in case I need to go into a sprint. Run for
+
+"my life. You know.”
+
+LAURA: Do you build the machines down there?
+
+MATT: “I used to. Occasionally.”
+
+LIAM: What do you do now?
+
+MATT: “I supervise.”
+
+MARISHA: Supervise what?
+
+MATT: “You’re being a bit nosy here, not going to
+lie. I know we just met, and I’m helping showing
+
+"you around, but–”
+
+MARISHA: You offered, though.
+
+MATT: “I offered to tell you about the city, not
+about myself.”
+
+MARISHA: Okay.
+
+LIAM: Well, we are a traveling group of hired guns
+who can get shit done. We are a varied group of
+
+people. Some of us learn and some of us are good
+at smashing skulls. We would do any kind of work
+
+if it were presented to us. That’s who we are.
+We’re a motley group of assholes.
+
+MATT: “I think you’ll fit in quite well around
+here.”
+
+MARISHA: Did you get fired?
+
+TRAVIS: Oh. My. God.
+
+MARISHA: What? I just want to know.
+
+LIAM: I was trying to defuse–
+
+MARISHA: Yeah, you gave her information, so maybe
+she’ll give us some. Did you get fired?
+
+Suspended?
+
+MATT: “I haven’t found a vocation that fits my
+personality. Tried some things. Wasn’t my thing.”
+
+MARISHA: Undecided major. I like it.
+
+SAM: Where should we stay tonight?
+
+MATT: “Well, there’s a few different places. Are
+you looking for a quiet spot to sleep or are you
+
+"looking for a wild place to not sleep?”
+
+SAM: Beau is looking for a wild place to not
+sleep.
+
+MATT: “Blushing Tankard it is.”
+
+SAM: Gushing Tankard.
+
+ALL: Blushing Tankard.
+
+MATT: At this point, the oranges and reds of
+sundown have taken the sky and you hear this pop sound.
+
+SAM: What was that?
+
+TALIESIN: Wait for it.
+
+MATT: You look up and you can see splashes of
+light in the sky above you. Faint fireworks start
+
+going off.
+
+MARISHA: What?
+
+SAM: Are the Dodgers playing?
+
+MATT: You start hearing shouts. Voices echoing
+from the city, from the towers, from behind you,
+
+along the Shelf. All these steam whistles start
+going off down below, echoing from below. The
+
+streets suddenly come to life as people begin to
+rush out of buildings, taking off their aprons,
+
+taking off their gloves, setting off whatever
+their work attire is and rushing off to home to
+
+unwind. There is a rush of energy, and you begin
+to realize Beau wasn’t kidding.
+
+LAURA: This is a party town!
+
+MARISHA: This city’s awesome!
+
+MATT: They work hard, and at night, they play
+hard.
+
+TALIESIN: You’ve brought us to Florida.
+
+MATT: And that’s where we’re going to finish
+tonight’s episode.
+
+(cheering)
+
+LIAM: Steampunk Burning Man!
+
+MARISHA: (singing) Orlando! Orlando!
+
+SAM: Fourth Street in Austin.
+
+MATT: Oh, Fourth Street. I love Fourth Street.
+We’ll pick up this next week. We may or may not
+
+have Ashley, depending on if Skype is available.
+
+SAM: Wait, what?
+
+ASHLEY: But the following week I’ll be here.
+
+MATT: Nevertheless, thank you guys so much.
+
+SAM: Thank you, Wil Wheaton, for not ruining our
+lives.
+
+MATT: Yeah, Wil’s been off-set trying to curse my
+dice. Apparently, I deflected it to the party.
+
+Happy about that. Thank you guys for joining us
+tonight.
+
+SAM: Ready Player One was good, everything else
+bad.
+
+(laughter)
+
+MATT: Anyway, we’ll see you guys next week. Have a
+wonderful weekend and the following week from
+
+there. We love you, and is it Thursday yet? Good
+night.
+
+[music]
+